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Just What I Needed

By: blueday



Rick smiled as I walked in the door. After a day of work, I was ready to relax beside him on the sofa for awhile. From the mischievous smile on his face, the smile that I have loved since they met, I knew there was something on his mind.

"Ok," I asked. "What is going on in the head of yours?"

"Nothing much," he replied, "I just thought since it's Friday night and you've had such a long week, that I would take you out tonight."

"That sounds wonderful!" I said enthusiastically. "You know just what I need! Let's get showered and we can head out."

As was our custom, we headed for the shower together. That had been a pleasure of ours since moving in together. We both loved the feeling of closeness that came with that.

Undressing in the bedroom, I padded across the hallway and into the warm, inviting shower. Rick took my hand as he steadied me to step in. 

"Oh, you look good tonight," he said. He gave me a light kiss, his tongue just brushing my lips. "Let me help you with that."

He took the shampoo from my hands and applied it to my hair. The warm water and his hands felt relaxing. He lightly worked the suds through my hair, massaging my scalp with his fingertips. Rinsing it off, he squirted some body wash onto the sponge and became softly washing my body. He slowly circled my breasts, following the soaping with soft kisses on my nipples. 

He worked the sponge lower, gently cleaning the outer lips of my pussy. He began to squat down lower to taste me there.

"Whoa big boy!" I said as I stopped his descent. "We don't have time for that right now!"

"You're right," his cute pout forming. He gave my ass a slap as I stepped out of the shower.

A short time later we stepped out into the car and headed for a night on the town. Tonight's outfit was one of Rick's favorites. I wore a form fitted sweater with my small cleavage peaking out, and a short denim skirt over bare legs.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"It's a surprise," he replied. His eyes wandered from the road to my legs. 

Half an hour later, he pulled up in front of a bar. The neon lights in the windows blinking Miller Time and shining onto the parked cars in front. 

"This is it?" I asked incredulously? "This is my night on the town?" I tried unsuccessfully to hide my disappointment. 

"Oh come on," Rick said. "It'll be fun. Now this is the surprise part. I am going to walk in alone. You wait five minutes, and then you come in. But don't look for me. Find a table or seat by yourself." His grin continued to grow. "Tonight is your night. Anything goes. Absolutely anything you desire."

He opened the car door and stepped out. He didn't look back as he walked away. I watched as the heavy door to the bar opened, just for a moment the loud noise from inside escaping into the night air.

Checking my clothes and reapplying my red lipstick, I waited my allotted time nervously. Just what did he think was going to happen here tonight?

As I stepped into the crowded bar, the first thing that hit me was the music blaring from the flashing jukebox in the corner. The bar was filled with workers off from an evening of work. Some played pool, while others just nursed their drinks. 

All of the bar stools were taken and I finally spotted a small corner table that was recently vacated. The bartender appeared, wiped the table clean, and took the beer bottles into his hand. 

"What can I get for you?" he asked. I watched his eyes as they followed the scoop of my sweater. 

"How 'bout a Margarita, frozen with salt?" I answered.

"Coming up!"

Without meeting my eyes, I caught my husband sitting at the bar, looking my direction. The beer bottle in his hands tipping up to his lips. The wink he gave did not escape my notice.

"Here you go, miss." The bartender set the drink down in front of me. "The guy at the end of the bar bought this for you."

I looked up in the direction he pointed. A tall, dark-headed man looked back at me with a smile. How lucky could I be? I smiled back, a smile that beckoned him to come sit with me. 

His eyes met mine, and then quickly turned away as the restroom door opened and the lady coming out seated herself beside him.

Maybe this isn't my lucky day after all, I thought to myself.

I continued nursing my drink and watching the action around me. I got looks from a lot of men and women. The men would smile and the women looked jealously, holding tighter to their men afraid I was after each and every one.

"Mind if I sit down here?" 

The voice came from a leggy redhead walking past my table.

"I hate to bother you, but there aren't any empty table here tonight," she said.

"Sure, go ahead." I answered. "Nothing much going on here for me anyway."

"My name is Eva. It's nice to meet you." She smiled as she spoke. "Can I buy you a drink? I see yours is getting low."

"Sure," I answered. "That would be great. My name is Laurie, by the way."

Eva ordered us each a refill, and winked as the bartender sat them down.

"I've never seen you here before." She said.

"Nope, first time here," I replied. "This isn't normally something I get into."

Eva turned out to be a fun person to chat with, and I barely thought about my husband sitting at the bar alone. Occasionally, I would glance his way, without giving any indication that I even knew him.

As an hour passed, one more drink was under my belt. I am not a drinker, and I was already feeling giddy after the first one. As Eva and I talked, she spilled the contents of her purse on the floor as she was purchasing her latest drink.

"Here, let me help you." I reached down to help her pick up the scattered contents. As our heads bent below the table to pick up the errant items, her hand reached out and stroked my breast through the fabric. 

Shocked, I sat up again, but not a word was spoken between us. She held her glass, took a slow sip, then reached her cold, moist hand under the table and onto my bare leg. She inched her fingers up under the hem of my skirt, her eyes never leaving mine. Her fingers touched the quickly moistening crotch of my lace panties.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" she asked.

Still flustered by something that had never happened to me before, I nodded my answer. 

Picking up my purse and straightening my skirt, I left behind Eva, darting a look at Rick while he sipped his drink. 

"My car is here," Eva said.

"Well, let's go to my house, if you don't mind." I answered shakily.

The drive to the house was quiet as I contemplated what I was about to do. What was I thinking? I had never been with a woman before. But the effect of the drinks were making my head spin, and I have to admit that Eva's touch was intoxicating to me.

I slipped the key in the lock as Eva's lips brushed the back of my neck. I felt a tingle go through me, and could feel the dampness of my panties which were now clinging to my pussy lips.

Eva took charge as I motioned the way to the bedroom. I stood facing her as she lightly kissed my lips. I opened my mouth slightly, allowing the tip of her tongue to touch mine. Her touch was so unlike my husband's, so light and soft. I let my tongue reach out to hers as our lips began exploring.

She reached for the hem of my sweater, and lifted it over my head, tossing it to the floor. Unbuttoning the waist of my denim skirt, it dropped down my bare legs. I stepped out away from the skirt, and Eva reached behind me and unsnapped my bra. She worked her fingers into the lace panties and so slowly pulled them down my legs, until they fell to the floor. 

Completely naked now, she stepped me back to the bed as she began to unbutton her shirt. I sat mesmerized as she opened the shirt to reveal her beautiful breasts which had been uncontained all evening. She shimmied out of the jeans that fit her ass so well, taking her thong panties off at the same time. 

I laid back on the bed as Eva climbed across to straddle my body. Our pussies touching and her breasts grazing mine, she began to finger my hair and kiss my lips. Without resisting now, I let myself kiss her back, my tongue exploring hers.

She slipped down to my breasts, slowing tracing each nipple with a polished nail. Alternating between kissing and tonguing my nipples, she let one hand wander down to my now wet pussy. I felt one finger slip inside my pussy lips, only to withdraw and be followed by two fingers. She slowly rotated the fingers in a circle, brushing my pussy lips with each stroke. 

Eva concentrated her fingers on my clit, and I gasped at the feeling. As I gasped, she kissed me into a stifled silence. I could feel an orgasm building inside me, and Eva must have also, causing her to stop the motions she was using to please me.

I let out a cry as she slid the length of her body down my tummy and used her fingertips to gently spread my legs apart. Flicking her tongue against my clit, she made me strain to actually feel she was there, so light was her touch. Her tongue slipped inside my pussy and took over where her fingers had left off. 

Her tongue lapped at my pussy while she put one finger back inside. As she fucked my cunt with her finger, her tongue pressed and flicked against my clit, building me up more and more to a certain orgasm.

I put my fingers into her long red strands, pulling her closer into my pussy. I could smell the odor I was giving off as my pussy began to drench both of us. I tensed up as I felt myself finally giving in to what had been building up.

I screamed and bucked as the intense orgasm overtook my body. Eva's lips and tongue continued lapping at the juices that exploded from my pussy, even after the orgasm stopped.

"May I join you?" came a voice from the door.

"Sure," I said dreamily. "Eva, meet Rick. My husband."

How long he had been standing there I was uncertain, but it was long enough that his cock was hard and thick.

Rick pulled me to the center of the bed, turning me over and drove his hard cock into my cunt from behind. At first startled, Eva reached out and began playing with my nipples, then moved her fingers once again to rub my clit as Rick fucked me. Eva moved around me, and managed to get her pussy underneath my face. I touched her clit lightly with my tongue and instinctively started lapping at her pussy, my tongue moving in and around her pussy lips. 

Rick continued to drive his hard cock into me, his full balls slapping against my ass. Eva began to raise her hips up towards me as her own orgasm began to build. 

In unison, Rick fucked me as I licked and sucked Eva's pussy, each of us moaning our pleasure. I could feel Rick's orgasm beginning, as he reached around and began stroking my aching clit. As I sucked harder against Eva's clit, she began to buck against me as her orgasm started and her juices flowed out.

She laid still and watched as Rick fingered my clit and pumped harder against my ass, his rock hard cock slamming into my pussy. I screamed as my orgasm hit, and Rick cried out as he too began to empty his load into my soaked pussy. 

All three of us laid down to catch our breath, his hand reaching across to tease Eva's stiffened nipples. 

"I think I will leave you two alone now," Eva said after catching her breath. 

Rick and I both watched as she dressed, picked up her purse and smiled before heading for the door. We listened to the door come together and were alone again. 

"I told you I knew what you needed," Rick said with that mischievous smile again. "Now, where were we?" 

Just What I Needed



At 27 I really didn't think I'd find myself here. After high school I had gotten a summer job with a construction company and started making pretty good money. Enough to live on my own in a great place, just me and my dog. I'd even managed to save up quite a bit so when the economy went bust, work slowed and I found myself enrolling at the nearest university. It was a big state school with a good reputation for its business program, excellent athletics, and wild parties. At nearly 10 years older than most of my classmates, I wasn't too interested in the social life, but I actually found myself enjoying the life of an academic so all in all i was in a pretty good place in life. 

Having spent the last decade doing hard manual labor, I wasn't sure sitting in a classroom was the place for me. I enjoyed being outside, sweating, staying in shape, making things with my hands and getting paid to do what I loved. Life happens though so here I was sitting in a freshman level Western Civ class and soaking up the information like a sponge. 

About 20 minutes into class though, my mind started to wander, as it often does, when I noticed the girl to my left. I had been "noticing" her since the first day. She was the kind of woman whose beauty needed to be appreciated. She didn't shove it in your face so most guys probably didn't look twice. She always had a somewhat somber look, but she was always glowing a little too. It wasn't that she was sad, just quiet I guess. Her hair was long and dark and always in a ponytail of some sort. She was always wearing jeans or sweats that didn't give much of a hint to her shape. And she was often wearing little or no make up. Like I said, not your typical knockout. If you really looked at her though, she had smooth olive skin, beautiful lips that had a hint of pout, but her mouth was wide and smiled even when she wasn't. Her eyes were what really got me though. They were big and deep brown, bedroom eyes. Yet they always seemed like she was missing something. To me, she was captivating. She always sat next to me, but I never talked to her, she just didn't seem to want to talk so I left her alone. 

To be honest though, when things got a little monotonous , I had spent plenty of time in that class thinking about her and the things I'd like to do with her. Can't blame a guy for letting his cock take over every once in a while? I know guys say that a lot, really women say it about us, but the truth is, when my cock starts...thinking (as it were)...I can't help but let it take over. I've always been this way. It's probably the reason I'm single. Most women just get discouraged, disappointed, or downright mad when they find out my cock is more important to me than they are and that I think they should feel the same way. 

For the most part I'm a nice guy. I enjoy the simple things in life, I don't judge, I don't force my opinions on others, I don't fight or drink too much. Hell I don't even smoke! But I know what I like and I really don't see it changing. I like a good book to relax with at night. I like a cold beer after a long day. I like weekend fishing trips. I like sitting on the couch with my dog by my side, and a pizza in front of me when the game is on TV. I like trips to places I've never been. But I really like a woman who takes care of herself, takes care of me, and treats my cock with love and respect. 

Yeah. That's right. I don't really think it's all that strange. Apparently I can come across as demanding in the bedroom (or out of it). I even had one woman tell me she wasn't my "slave". That's crazy. I never said she was nor did I think of her that way. I just needed her libido to catch up! And realize she wasn't my slave, but if she wanted to keep me happy she better spend a lot more time with my cock in her mouth. 

I must have gotten really distracted thinking about her because pretty soon I felt tapping on my arm and when I turned, it was her. 

"I gather you weren't listening?" she said. 

"Uh, yeah sorry. I guessed I zoned out a little."

"Okay, well you're little daydream just got you stuck working with me on this project."

Oh shit. I was having some doubts for several reasons. One: she never said much in class so I wasn't sure how it would go or If I'd just end up doing everything. Two: I was just thinking about her for the past 15 minutes and it had me hard as a rock. A guy like me can't handle this kind of proximity to temptation! 

"So anyway, I'm Jen. I take it you're Matt?"

"At your service!"

"Charmed, I'm sure." she giggled. 

Ah, so she did have a personality. That was a welcome plus. 

"We've sat right next to each other all semester and haven't even spoken. Sorry about that, I'm not a total bitch, I swear. I just never have much to say in class. Kinda just like to get in and out. I'm actually kinda glad we got paired up. You always seem like a nice guy and like you know what's going on a little more than the rest of these fools."

"Haha, well thanks." I replied. "I'm glad too. Always nice to meet someone new. And I hear ya on the socializing thing. Although for my part it could just be that I'm a decade older than most people in here."

"Oh please, age is an advantage in your case. I mean. Ha. I just mean you seem to be more focused. But you said a few weeks ago you were 27, right?"

"Yeah, I mean I guess I did."

"See, I don't say much, but I do pay attention! Besides, I'm 22. I put this class off until Senior year to give myself an easy semester. So we're only a couple years apart." 

We talked for a while longer and made some headway on the project. She turned out to be a pretty cool girl. She came to the school on a dance scholarship, but ended up finding a passion for business after taking a class. She still danced, but it was more of a hobby now. She was even kind of funny. Even so, she was still kind of quiet and didn't mind spending a few minutes just reading and researching while the rest of the class chattered away the remainder of the class. 

At 5:15 class ended and everyone else rushed out of the room. Jen and I had been too caught up in our work and conversation to notice the time so we were the last two left. We made small talk as we walked down the hall and out of the building. Finally we came to the parking lot. 

I turned to her. "Well, it was nice getting to know you, I guess we'll get in touch to work more on the project."

She smiled and said, "Yeah, now I just have to figure out how to stay out of my room for the rest of the weekend."

"What do you mean?"

"Ugh, my roommate has some friends from home visiting and they're soooo annoying when they get together."

"Oh yeah, well, if you're up to it, I was gonna stop by the bar and just have a couple drinks before heading home. You're welcome to join me if you want."

"Honestly, that sounds great. I need a beer after this week."

We got in our respective cars and headed down to the bar. As I drove my head was thinking what a cool girl she was. But my cock...well he was telling me to get her naked as soon as possible. With school taking up so much time, he hadn't been sucked in way too long. And man he loved to be sucked.

While I loved my cock as most guys so, it wasn't always convenient that he had such a mind of his own. At nearly 9 thick inches, it wasn't like I could just pull my shirt down or tuck him to the side in my underwear. Regardless of how hard I tried, this cock made himself known no matter what. So when I pulled up to the bar and she was already there I had sit in my car and pretend I was texting for a minute so it would at least subside a little before I got out. 

When I did, it still wasn't completely down and anyone who looked could clearly see a noticeable bulge. As I walked toward her, that's exactly what she did. Ah well, embarrassing, maybe. But with what I've got, it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway she just smiled and we walked in. 

We sat down at the bar and both ordered a beer. I love a girl that drinks beer. There was a game on and we had some idle chit chat while we both watched. After a couple beers we both got a little tipsy. We started talking more and joking. Even playing a game where we tried to match up which football player would go for what sorority girl there. 

Finally we got quiet again she looked me right in the eye and said, "can I tell you why I really never talked to you in class?"

She caught me off guard, "umm, sure."

"Well, the first day you walked in, I thought you were pretty much the hottest guy I'd ever seen in real life."

Wow, she was certainly direct, but I wanted to see what my position was here so I just let her continue. 

"Yeah, tall, dark, and handsome is enough. But you were wearing that shirt that was just tight enough that it showed off your arm muscles and broad back. And I remember you had a couple buttons undone in front so it showed off your pecs and that manly chest hair. It drove me wild! Then a coupe weeks later, I remember you came in and I guess you had just come from the gym or something. But you were wearing a wife water and soccer shorts. I almost had to leave class to take care of myself. First of all, a man with a body like yours should be shirtless at all times. Secondly, you were wearing soccer shorts. Do you know what you look like in soccer shorts?"

I couldn't believe how forward she was being! I couldn't believe she looked at me that way! Who was this girl? I replied, "umm, well not really. I was actually just wearing them because I had been doing some stuff around the house and lost track of time and didn't get a chance to change. Why don't you tell me what I looks like in them?"

She smiled and took a swig of her beer and turned away to look at the game on tv. "Let's just say your bulge walked into the room about 5 minutes before you did."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This girl who seemed so quiet and shy was like a completely different person from the woman sitting beside me right now. I knew she sensed it too because as I sat there, bug eyed I could see the corners of her lips turn up; she knew she had me. 

Before I even had a chance to form a thought she turned to me. She placed her hand on my thigh, which was when I noticed her words had gotten me completely rock hard. 

"Well that's a nice surprise," she said as her hand grazed the inside of my leg.

"There's a lot more where that came from. Look, I've had my eye on you from day one. Clearly we've both got something the other one wants. Whadya say we finish these beers and head back to my place? We'll grab your car later, you can ride with me."

"How could I say no to a real man, with a big cock, a hot body, and a brain that works?"

"I think we better hurry up and finish." I replied. 

"I'll just leave my hand here. It feels more comfortable there." she said as she continued to gently caress my inner thigh. Grazing softly against my cock with every stroke as it continued to creep across my leg.



Just What I Needed



Author's Note: This is my first story, so feedback is quite welcome. Don't be afraid to be rough with me! A huge thanks to Xarth for editing and helping write some key passages.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Motherfucker."

I tapped my phone's screen off and stared at the blackness for several seconds before gently tossing my phone back onto the loveseat sofa my boyfriend Michael had found for free on Craigslist. My right hand dropped to my side and my gaze slowly drifted to the pot that I held out in my left hand. I'm not sure what was in it, since it certainly wasn't the gumbo I had been trying to make. I felt numb for a moment. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Walking back to the stove, that familiar pinch I'd been feeling from the back of my new flats scratched at me again, and suddenly I knew that this would be the last time they'd ever do that. Putting the pot back on the stove, I reached down, ripped one off, and hurled it across the room at the far wall. It felt good. I reached down, ripped the other off, and threw it after. I narrowly missed the TV Michael had insisted we have in our apartment, and for a moment I wished I had actually hit it. The cold linoleum felt good against my bare feet, and I slid one back and forth, enjoying the sensation and the momentary calm that accompanied it. Then, it was gone.

Michael was going to be late. Again. He had just texted to say that his friend had invited him to a gig, some rock thing, and that there might be connections there. He said he couldn't miss the chance, and wouldn't be home until at least two.

This wasn't the first time Michael had blown me off for some musical improbability, but it was the first time since we moved in together, and it hurt especially bad tonight. Tonight was supposed to be a Date Night, something we'd had precisely none of since we moved into this place only a couple weeks ago. Why wasn't this as romantic as I had envisioned it when we talked about the move? More importantly, why wasn't it as romantic as he had promised it would be?

I sighed and looked at the green glowing clock on the oven. It was almost ten, it was Friday night, and I was frustrated and alone. I quickly decided against going out; that wasn't what I needed right now. What I needed now...

I was startled to hear a tap at the door, and was startled again when I realized it had been the familiar "shave and a haircut" pattern I used to hear on my bedroom door back home. At that moment, Danny's knock was the last thing I was expecting to hear.

I looked around for a quick check of the apartment and realized there wasn't much I could do since he was already at the door. I walked over to the mirror that was next to the door and habitually straightened my dark and uncontrollably wavy hair, making sure that everything was acceptably tidy. I looked tired, despite my makeup. I sighed, knocked back "two bits", and turned the knob.

And it was Danny, my little brother, standing on the outdoor walkway that led to my door. The first thing I saw was a dozen white roses, which was as much of a surprise as hearing the knock. Then, I saw Danny's bemused half-grin and raised eyebrow.

"Hey," he said uncertainly. I guess I hadn't concealed my look of surprise.

"Hey," I said. His expression changed when he saw my eyebrows shoot up. "Oh my god," I said with a sudden realization, "you thought the apartment-warming was today, didn't you?"

He turned a shade paler and furrowed his brow. "It's not?" he asked sheepishly.

I shook my head slowly. "That's next Friday."

His expression turned my surprise to pity; I hated when he did his sad puppy look, and even though I could tell it was his usual mischievous self behind the eyes, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him as the bouquet lowered and he motioned off to the side. "Guess I'll go then..."

"Hey! Get in here, you big dummy," I said with a half-hearted laugh, lunging through the door to grab his arm and pull him in. He fell into my place before straightening himself and looking around.

"Wow," he said, taking a few steps around the kitchen area. I closed the door and leaned back against it, watching him check out the apartment. There was something about him that looked different from how I usually saw him. He looked older. I told him so. 

He gave me a smirk. "That's probably because of the suit. Mom said the same thing before I left. I picked it up at a thrift shop." He posed, pretending to adjust non-existent cufflinks. He was probably right, it was the suit. It was pretty snazzy; he was wearing a white button-down with the first few buttons undone and a dark blazer, the cut very flattering on him. Then I noticed something else unusual.

"Your face!" I said, walking up to him. "You've got stubble! I've never seen you with it before."

"That's probably because I shaved every day. I thought I might give scruffy a try."

"It looks really good on you," I said, rubbing the back of my fingers against his jawline. It felt funny to the touch, and it made me laugh. "You don't look eighteen at all, you look closer to twenty-three with this. Scruffy indeed..."

I only realized how close I was to him when I heard a plastic crinkling from the wrapping around the flowers he was still carrying. It caused us both to look down at the same time as I pulled my hand away.

"Do you have a vase or something?" he said. I wasn't sure, but after some searching I did find an acceptable glass container in a box we still hadn't unpacked. I put some water in it and arranged the roses on the table. After some shifting, they looked like a very nice, full bouquet. We stood looking at them for a while in silence, my hands on my hips.

"Becky, are you okay?" he eventually asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"You've got that look like something's on your mind." I touched my tense forehead and found the vertical line above my nose that my mother had too. I rubbed it away and laughed nervously. I looked up at Danny.

"I'm glad you came over tonight."

"What's wrong?"

"It's just... it's Michael."

"Uh oh. Does he need a pounding?" Danny softly punched his palm a couple of times, which made me laugh again. The mental image of Danny trying to beat up Michael was comical at best.

"No, no, nothing like that. He just... tonight was our date night in and he kind of just bailed on me." I looked over at my phone, still on the loveseat.

"That explains the food," Danny said, wrinkling his nose.

"I don't think you can go quite so far as to call it food," I said, walking over to the pot and peering in. It looked even less appetizing than before, and the smell wasn't particularly appealing either.

"I guess it's better he's not coming then. What was his excuse, anyway?"

"Music stuff," I said simply, shrugging my shoulders and trying to end the conversation. I didn't feel like I needed to get into my relationship issues with my brother right now.

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Ah. Music stuff." He'd never seemed too enthused that I was dating an aspiring musician, but he mostly kept his views to himself. Mostly.

"I don't really want to talk about it right now. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, what is it, a little after ten? This is way past my normal dinner time."

"Sorry, yeah, Michael usually works pretty late, so that's when we end up scheduling things. How about I call in an emergency pizza?"

I called the pizza place, and after some major debate we decided on a large Supreme with extra feta. It was twenty-two bucks, but that was okay. I felt like going all out tonight, letting myself indulge. I offered Danny a beer.

"You have beer?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"A benefit of dating an older guy," I said. My expression turned more sour when I found myself staring at a fridge with absolutely no alcohol in it whatsoever.

"Ugh!" I said as I slammed the fridge shut. "That's right! Michael was supposed to bring something to drink home with him tonight for our date."

"Sounds like this guy can't do anything right tonight," said Daniel, and I almost punched him in the arm, but didn't. He was right. But I really wanted to have a good time tonight, even if it meant hanging out with my brother. Which gave me an idea...

"Let's go get some!"

Danny looked skeptical. "But you're not even twenty yet."

"I'm with Michael all the time when we go to the 7-Eleven down the street, I'm sure they won't card me. Besides, Mr. Scruffy, with you there they really won't suspect a thing. You'd be the icing on the cake for our ruse." I adjusted his blazer and gave him my best sad puppy face. "Pleeaase?"

"All right," he said, finally relenting.

"Score! Just a sec, lemme put on some shoes."

"There's a pair ov--"

"Shut up," I said, and went to my room. I pulled on some comfortable boots that covered the mid-calf bottom of my grey leggings and looked at myself in the mirror. I really didn't look that bad tonight in my dress, and the boots went surprisingly well with it. I pulled on my purple trench and went back out to find Danny poking around in the fridge.

"Didn't believe me or something?"

Danny popped back up and chuckled. "No no, just checking it out."

I decided to drop it. "Come on, let's go," I said. I locked the door behind us and we started down the street. It was dark out, but the streetlights kept the area well-lit. Danny kept looking over at me, and I thought it was weird the way the shadows that crossed his face as we passed each streetlight made him seem mysterious. We talked about this and that, when I suddenly realized something was off.

"Where's Sara?"

He immediately looked ahead and stopped talking.

"You thought this was our apartment-warming, and I'm positive that I had invited you to bring your girlfriend. Here you are, no Sara in sight."

He kept ignoring me.

"Did you two break up?"

"Yeah," he said finally, sounding annoyed. "We broke up a few days ago."

"Wanna talk about it?"

He shrugged. "Not really? I mean, you didn't want to talk about you and Michael earlier either."

He had me there. "Well, if you do want to talk about it, I'm willing to listen." I tried to offer a smile, but his return smile was weak. He probably didn't think I'd be too receptive to what he had to say, since I hadn't exactly been quiet about getting weird vibes from her back when I was living at home. She always seemed a little off to me; always texting, and always unnecessarily friendly and nice every time I said hi to her. I hadn't seen her very often, but when I did it just felt fake.

He looked up and saw we were almost there. "Okay, so how are we doing this?"

"I figure we should go in together, you should grab a twelve-rack of R--"

"Me?"

"Of course, you! I'm always the secondary person for these, and you look older tonight anyway."

"I don't even like beer that much," he said. He seemed like he was starting to get nervous about it. I grabbed him and turned him to me.

"Daniel. You can do this. Besides, what's the worst that can happen?"

"North Korea decides to bomb Seattle because of its underage drinkers, and we get stuck in the fallout, that is unless we die from--"

"That's my boy." I lightly tapped him on his chest, turned him toward the 7-Eleven, and pushed. I sighed. Same ol' Danny. "Just be cool, okay?"

We opened the doors and headed in. There was one person at the counter getting cigarettes and a young couple in line. Behind the counter was a guy who I'd talked to maybe a dozen times and could never pronounce his name right (Kifle? Kiflay? I felt so bad about it). He looked up when he heard the bell on the door and immediately smiled when he saw me. I smiled back and gave a little wave. I saw him eye my brother for a second before going back to his customer and finishing the transaction. Daniel and I headed toward the beer, mostly because I had my hand on his back and was guiding him in that direction. Like you've done this a hundred times, come on Danny, confidence.

When we got there, I heard Kiffy call out, "Hey, how are you?"

"Fine," I said, "just picking something up." Kiff was quieter than usual after that, so I turned back to Danny looking at the selection. He was clearly unfamiliar with what was there. Eventually I reached in and grabbed a twelve-rack of Rainiers and handed them to him. "You have money?"

"You're making me pay for them too?" he whispered loudly.

"I'm buying the pizza, you know. You do want some pizza, don't you?" I flashed him a mischievous grin. "We need anything else?"

"No, I think we're good," he said. I could see him take a deep breath and drop his shoulders back, standing up straight. There it was, that look of confidence that matched his attire. He was ready for battle.

It turned out it required almost no effort on Danny's part. Kiffy was too distracted by me, asking me how things were going, what I was up to tonight, and I smiled and distracted as much as I could.

"So is this your new boyfriend?" Kiffy asked, looking Danny's way as he was counting change. I saw Danny's confident look falter as he started to laugh, but I broke in.

"Naw, this is just my big brother," I said, leaning into his arm.

Danny rolled with my lie and gave Kiffy an upward nod with a "Sup." To me it looked ridiculous, but Kiffy seemed satisfied.

"You're very lucky," he said to Danny, which confused me, but half the things he said confused me, so I just smiled and batted my eyes at him. Danny put his change away and grabbed the case and started to head out. I waved to Kiffy and wished him goodnight.

Once we were out of sight, I looked over at Danny and he looked over at me. I could see it in his eyes, too, and we broke down laughing.

"God, that was terrible," he said, still grinning ear to ear.

"Come on, you couldn't see yourself dating somebody like me, even if it's just pretend?" I made out like I was hurt, though I wasn't really.

"No no, Becky, it's not that. It's just..."

"What?"

"Sara was always texting someone, and--"

"Yeah, I know, that always bu--"

"No, listen," he said, still laughing, but I could sense a hint of sadness too. "Sara was always texting someone, and she said it was her brother. All those weekends she said she had to help him with things, projects, moving, whatever, some bullshit family thing. All of those were lies. She wasn't texting her brother, she was texting her other boyfriend."

"What the fuck," I said.

"I found out when I couldn't reach her and I called her house; her brother picked up and I asked if she was with him again, and he just laughed at me. Apparently they hardly spend any time together at all, and her brother thought her other boyfriend was her only boyfriend. He had no idea who I was."

"Ouch. Jesus, Danny."

"It is what it is, I guess."

"You really dodged a bullet dumping her," I said. "That's messed up. I mean, I'd tease you to no end and ruin your life, but it seems weird to implicate you in a lie and not tell you about it."

He looked at me, a little unsure.

"I mean, you trust me, right? For big things?"

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"And I trust you too. And if I ever need to cheat on Michael, I'll make sure to let you know before I claim I'm w--" I was cut off when he lunged at me and started chasing me down the street. I ran ahead of him giggling my ass off, but he was hampered by the unwieldy case of beer. I easily made it back to my door before him.

"You're something else, sis," he said, catching his breath but obviously trying to hide a smile.

"Come on," I said, opening the door. "Let's forget about her tonight and just relax."

The pizza arrived after a few minutes, and I paid for it while Danny fiddled with the stereo I still hadn't gotten set up completely since the move, and by the time I came back with the pizza he had the radio part working. I had taken off my trench and boots and returned to just my dress and my leggings, and he had taken off his blazer and rolled up his sleeves.

"So where's the bathroom around here? I gotta piss."

I rolled my eyes at his crassness. "Guess I'll give you the tour, then."

I gave him the tour, which wasn't much. There was the main entrance which quickly led into both the living area and the kitchen, separated by a counter that stuck out in the middle. Across from the door on the other side of the apartment were two doors. The first led to the bedroom, which I only showed him briefly, followed by the bathroom, where our tour ended and he went in. I went back to the pizza and started separating the poorly cut pieces onto plates. I got a couple of cans out from the case and put everything on the separating counter in front of two stools Michael and I usually used for meals. By the time everything was ready, Daniel had come back out and sat right down. He picked up his can and I did the same. We opened them, and he held his out.

"To new beginnings in new places?"

"You know," I said, keeping my can back, "I really am happy you came by, even if it was a mistake."

"You keep saying that."

"I mean it. These past couple weeks have been really hectic for me. Glad to see I'm not losing you in the mess."

"Really, Becky," he said, "it's okay. I'm glad to be here. You seem cooler now anyway." He held his can back out, and I clinked it with mine. We both drank a couple of gulps before putting them down, and when we met eyes we both just laughed. It was cheap stuff and kind of nasty, but it was fine.

As we ate, we talked. I felt more open with him than when we were living together, and while I tried not to think about it much, I chocked it up to the fact that we didn't have to be around each other anymore. Even though it had only been a couple weeks, it felt like we were just old friends catching up on things we'd never had time to share before. He seemed more open too, and by the time we were finishing our third cans and most of the pizza had been demolished, I had him in stitches about some of Michael's weirder habits I had been discovering, like how he shook like a dog before getting out of the shower and the fact that he waxed his chest.

"Ooh!" I said, hearing something I liked on the radio. "I love this song!" I hopped down from my stool and walked over to the stereo to turn it up. I started moving my hips back and forth dancing to it.

"Becky, what are you doing?"

"Dancing! It's my apartment, I can do what I want!" I wasn't nearly as drunk as I was acting, but I didn't care. I felt so comfortable in that moment, and it wasn't until just then that the independence of having my own place really started to sink in. I felt like I was soaring as I shook from side to side, hopping around like an idiot. I looked over at Danny, who had turned around on his stool to face me, and he had this stupidly adorable grin on his face.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said. "It's just quite the view."

"Come on, I don't look that stupid when I dance."

"No, it's not that, it's just..." I lessened my movements to pay more attention to what he was saying. "You look really happy right now. Really beautiful."

My face flushed. Was that a compliment coming from my brother?

"Quite the view, huh?" I said as I kept moving and let my mind wander. "View! I didn't show you the balcony, did I?"

"You have a balcony?" he said in surprised disbelief.

"You won't be so excited when you see it," I said. I nudged the volume back down, finished the can I was on, and we both got another before I took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom.

"It's just through here," I said, pulling aside the blinds and unlatching the glass sliding door.

We stepped out onto the balcony and into the night air. It really wasn't much at all; unless you considered standing half inside the bedroom part of the balcony, it was too small to really fit us comfortably, but we both leaned onto the rail side by side and looked out into the night. We could see the outlines of some buildings downtown in the distance, windows lit up in the night sky, the space needle way off to the right. We were on the third floor, and the street below was surprisingly quiet for a Friday night.




Just What I Needed



"Wow," said Danny. "You can--kind of--see it all from here."

"Oh, stop," I said. The view wasn't really that great, mostly blocked by hills and other apartment buildings, and the neighborhood wasn't the best either.

"No really, I'd love to have a place like this."

"You could always save up and just do it like I did. Have you thought about what you're doing after you graduate?" Danny was still a senior, albeit in his final semester.

He sighed, which I expected; he'd never really liked talking about his future, always avoiding the conversation when it came up.

"It's okay, Danny, we don't have to--"

"No," he interrupted, "it's okay. I'm honestly not looking forward to all the responsibility, you know? It's so easy to skate by in high school, but I don't want to leech off of mom and dad anymore. They keep pushing community college, but..." he trailed off.

"But what?"

He shrugged. "You seem to be doing really well without it is all. I'd kill to have my own place, and you have a great boyfriend to boot; things seem to be falling into place for you."

I nudged him, turning my head to give him a look of disapproval. "Danny, I'm a waitress. If I could go back to... is that cologne?"

I saw Danny turn ten shades of red, his cheeks stark against the rest of his pale skin. I couldn't help but find it sweet. He had tried so hard for the shindig that wasn't until next week, and especially after breaking up with his girlfriend. I wondered what he had been expecting, to hook up with one of my friends? I had an inkling of who it might be, but I shook it off.

"I was wondering when you'd notice. Sorry about that."

"Sorry for what? It's nice. Don't be so hard on yourself." I nudged him again with my shoulder and took a drink. I looked down at it before continuing. "And you know, I'm not really even sure Michael is that great a boyfriend after all."

"What do you mean? Is it the music stuff? He's still hoping to make it big in the underground rock scene?"

"It isn't, not really. If that's what he's passionate about, that's fine, it's just... sometimes he doesn't seem very passionate about me."

"Rebecca, I'm pretty sure he cares about you. He wouldn't have made such a big commitment with you like this place if he didn't."

"I know he cares about me, that's not it." This was more than I had ever told my brother about any guy I'd dated. "He just, I just, we..." Where was I going with this? I took another drink before blurting out, "He doesn't like being rough with me."

"What." Danny was completely deadpan.

"I finally worked up the nerve to ask him if he'd get more physical with me sometimes, but he says he's just not comfortable with it." Why was I still talking? "He says he's afraid he's going to hurt me, and tells me I should just drop it."

"Sis, this is probably too much information." He was blushing again, and while I should have been mortified that I had just spilled something majorly private, I was more amused I had gotten a rise out of him.

"I mean, you know what it's like, right? To be really into it with someone, and I don't know, maybe you start to spank her or something. You've been with girls before, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure we--"

"So you know what I'm saying!" 

Daniel went silent, turned, and just stared at me, still looking surprised at where I had taken things. I was a little surprised too, but I stared right back, one eyebrow raised and a smirk on my face. We looked into each others eyes, neither one of us wanting to back down.

"Rough?" he said.

"Rough," I affirmed.

"What, like this?" Before I could think, he had put his can down on the railing and his hands went for my armpits. Thankfully, my can was empty, because it went flying straight to the ground as I tried to squirm out of his grasp, but he was too fast, too strong. I dashed into the bedroom to try to get away from him, laughing hysterically, screaming for him to stop, but his arms pulled at my sides keeping me from getting very far from him. I almost elbowed him in the face, but he seemed to dodge it and just kept at me.

Eventually I realized there was no hope trying to get away, so I turned to him and went right for his armpits too. Two could play at this game.

"Oh no you fucking don't!" he said, laughing all the while, making a grab at my wrists and eventually succeeding. We grappled at the foot of the bed before I managed to force him back onto the bed with a bounce, and when he tried to get back up I threw myself on top of him, straddling him on either side.

I had him pinned. He kept trying to get his arms up, but he was laughing too hard and it was keeping him weak. I held down his wrists above his head. Breathing heavily through an open grin, he looked up at me through the few inches between us with his short, tousled brown hair mixing with my own long brown waves as they fell all around his face.

I was frozen. I was catching my breath too, but my brain had stopped working. Somewhere between my dress being hiked up like it was while straddling my brother and the physical altercation we'd just engaged in with its conversational context, I couldn't quite piece together what I was feeling with the look I started to see in his eyes. I felt him rustle his hips involuntarily, and suddenly things didn't seem as innocent. I didn't know what to do. My face and thighs were burning, and for the first time since he arrived at my door earlier that evening, I felt scared. Of what, I wasn't sure.

I looked down to his lips and back up to his eyes for a moment too long, thinking and not thinking, when I caught an urge in motion just a moment too late, my head dipping infinitesimally toward him before I stopped myself cold. I prayed that he hadn't noticed. Eventually I just pushed myself back up into more of a sitting position, freeing his arms. I pushed my hair back over my head with a sweeping motion and looked down at him.

"Yeah," I eventually said. "Like that." I lifted one leg and spun off the bed. "I have to pee," I said weakly and went out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, leaving him lying back at the foot of my bed, legs still draped over the side.

After a few moments of looking at myself in the mirror, I realized with some amusement that I did in fact have to pee. I lowered my leggings and took a seat, mind racing. What was I going to do when I went back out? Should I even say anything? No matter how strongly I knew the answer was a resounding No, there was a tiny voice in the background urging me to talk to him about it. I couldn't think straight, and I decided to blame it on the beer.

When I went back out, Daniel solved my problem for me.

"Well I think I've had enough," he said, loading the rest of the case into the fridge.

"Yeah," I agreed, "I think we both have."

He stood up and went over to the couch where he had tossed his blazer. "I should probably get going," he said. "It's almost one, and the last bus home should be coming soon."

"Jesus, it's already one?" I said, looking over at the oven timer. It was, and I realized he was right.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," he said, something in his voice expressing caution, uncertainty. He pulled on his blazer.

"I did too. Really. I hope you don't disappear on me; I'd hate for you to make yourself a stranger." Standing there half-looking at each other felt awkward, and I realized I was being stupid. Things didn't have to be awkward, and I was just making things worse. "Aw, c'mere," I said.

I leaned in for a hug, which he returned.

"Thanks again for coming," I said softly. "I'm glad I wasn't alone tonight." I felt him move his head and plant a kiss against my hair on the side of my head. It was a sweet gesture, and it made me feel warm.

"No problem," he said. "I'm glad I'm such a fuck-up."

I pulled away and batted him on the chest. "You're not a fuck-up. Now get out of here or you'll miss your bus."

I held the door open for him and watched him leave. I closed it after him, leaned my back against the door, and looked around at my apartment.

* * * * *

Michael spent a lot more time at home over the next week, so when I wasn't working I was spending time with him. We unpacked some more boxes and decorated a bit, and it felt good to have him around. I checked my phone a lot more often than I usually would have; I didn't want to be the one to text him first, but for some reason I still wanted to hear from Danny. The other night was still on my mind, sometimes coming intrusively out of nowhere. Spending time with him had been a lot of fun, and I just wanted everything to be normal, but something was prodding at the back of my mind that I didn't want to think about. I kept myself distracted with Michael.

The sex was good. It felt dirty and exhilarating being fucked in rooms like the kitchen, and I felt a pang of worry the whole time as if we were going to be caught. I was still so used to living at home that the new privacy felt freeing. We did break in the new place a bit more, but what I said to Daniel about Michael not wanting to get rough with me was true. Sometimes while we were kissing I'd take his hand and move it into position over my ass and try to push it against me quickly as if in a slap. All I got from him was a smile and half-laugh through the kisses accompanied by some groping, which was nice, but not everything I needed. All in all, though, I couldn't really complain... except that I had. To Danny.

Friday night quickly approached, and when it finally arrived, I found myself nervous. After work, I came home and started the final preparations for our guests. Michael was off early that night at seven, and when he arrived he brought his semblance of a band in tow. They were a ragtag bunch, more tattoos among them than they had talent, but they seemed friendly and helpful despite their constant bullshitting. I was a little peeved Michael had brought people over early without letting me know, but I let it go. I went to change, and checked my phone. No messages.

As the night went on, more people arrived; Marci and Allison showed up together fashionably late, and so did Jeremy, my favorite coworker (and by far the most gay one). A couple more of Michael's friends made appearances, but every time I'd open the door I'd feel a little more worried. Where was he? After about an hour of just chatting and hanging out, I caved and pulled out my phone again.

"Are you coming tonight?" I texted. Jerron (one of Michael's "band"-mates) had an acoustic guitar out that he'd brought, and I plunked down on the loveseat next to him while he noodled. 

"Hey B," he said. "Cool party." 

"Thanks," I said absently. But he was actually right. People seemed to be talking and laughing, the music and food were hits, there was free beer, and people didn't seem to be getting too rowdy. I actually got along with most of the people there. I should be having a good time. My phone buzzed and I tapped the new message.

"I can't make it." That was all it said. As my eyes narrowed at the message and I tried to think of a response, a new one arrived. "I'm kind of down. :/"

"You've been checking that thing all evening," said Jerron. Had I been that obvious?

"Just someone that was supposed to come," I said.

"Uh oh, is Mikey gonna be jealous?" he teased.

"Unlikely," I said. "Just my brother. Really hoped he could make it." Jerron nodded and deflected an incoming partygoer stumbling his way. I glanced up at Marci, standing over by the kitchen talking to Jeremy. She'd been bugging me all evening, asking me where Danny was, and it had only exasperated my frustration. I knew she had the hots for him, and I suspected they may have made out at some point in high school, but even though she was my friend I knew she wasn't very nice to her boyfriends. Maybe it wasn't so bad he couldn't come.

I texted, "Is something wrong? :("

Of course something was wrong. He thought things were weird now and didn't want anything to do with me. Why else would he not text the whole previous week? There was so much uncertainty, and I had kept telling myself that maybe just seeing his face, seeing him talk to people and have fun or whatever, that would set my mind at rest.

As my mind was buzzing, so did my phone. "Nothing bad just... ill make it up to you ok? Sorry I couldn't come." That was helpful.

I typed, "Wish you were here," and before I could think about it I hit send, immediately cringing at the sappiness. I started typing again, "Haha just kidding" and hit send, almost smacking myself on the forehead at how ridiculous I was being. I took a breath and started typing again, glancing up to see Michael eyeing me and starting to come toward me. I managed to send, "well don't be a stranger! :)" before Michael got to me and handed me a beer. I took it and put my phone down.

"What's up, Becky?" he asked worriedly. I pulled him down next to me on the couch, squeezing Jerron off in the process, and planted a big kiss on his cheek.

"I have no idea what's wrong with me today," I said, taking a drink from the bottle he'd handed me. When his face didn't change, I said, "Don't worry about it Mike, I'll be fine. Just feeling weird is all."

Weird is exactly how I felt. I decided not to worry about it for the rest of the night and went back to the party. Everyone was happy for me, for us, and it was universally agreed that it wasn't a bad place.

It was late by the time the last people stumbled out and we finally had the place to ourselves again. I headed to the kitchen to start to clean up when I felt Michael's hands slip around my waist from behind.

"And what do you think you're doing, Missy?" I felt him whisper in my ear. He kissed it, and said, "I'll take care of this, you're getting up early for work." I smiled, turned around, and kissed him on the lips. I thanked him, and went off toward the bedroom, where I collapsed on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

I should be so grateful, I thought to myself. My life's going so well right now. I have everything I could ask for.

I held my phone up to my face and saw I had a text from Danny.

"I'll try not to be :-/"

I wasn't sure what to make of that.

* * * * *

My shift ended at 3:30 the next day, and after I clocked out I checked my phone to find I had a missed call from my mom and a voicemail. I tapped it to listen while I started to walk home.

"Rebecca! You're way past your curfew!" Ha ha, Mom. "I'm just kidding, honey. How are things at your new place? I heard you had your apartment-warming, how did that go? Danny was moping around the house last night, and when I asked he said he just wasn't up to a party. You know how he can get sometimes, always something on his mind. Anyway. Becky, the reason I'm calling is because--now don't hate me, you're always welcome here and you know that--I was going through your old room, trying to see what was left and whether we'd want to do something with the space--" Already? "--when I found a box packed up in the bottom of your closet. It's labeled for the move, I think it was just left behind somehow. Now I know what you're thinking, but no, I didn't open it, and I am sending Danny your way this afternoon to drop it off at your new place. I think it'd be good for him. He'll be taking my car since your father and I are heading to the cabin for the weekend. Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you! I'll--" I heard a couple of beeps, probably her hand or face on the keypad or something, and that was the end of the message. Oh, Mom.

My stomach started into a knot. I kept walking, trying to enjoy the sunshine on my face, when all of a sudden a few cool drops hit me and I realized it was starting to rain. Even though it was blue and sunny in half of the sky, here I was caught in the rain from the other half. Typical. I picked up my pace, reached into my bag for an umbrella I had forgotten to pack, and reluctantly submitted to my damp fate.

By the time I got home, my hair was soggy and my white work blouse was clinging to me. As I came around the back of my building, I noticed Mom's car sitting among others in the back lot. I saw a figure in the driver's side and I felt a tenseness in my chest. I took a breath and walked over to it, tapping on the rain-covered window.

Danny had been sitting in the car, staring straight ahead. When I tapped, he started, looked at me, and smiled. He opened the door and stepped out.

"Were you just gonna sit out here waiting for me?" I said.

"Thinkin' about it. I like the sound of rain on the roof."

"You're such a weirdo," I said, awkwardly punching his arm. "Can we get out of the rain now?"

He looked confused for a second, and only then seemed to notice how soaked I was. "Jesus, look at you! Sure, sure." He walked around to the trunk, opened it, and took out a single cardboard box labeled "Becky" and hefted it up in his arms.

He wasn't dressed for the weather either, just jeans and a graphic tee, so I led the way up the outside stairs, jingling my keychain in one hand. I cleared a space on our little table and he put the box down and went to close the door behind us. It was still dark in the apartment, and there was a cool blue glow that filled it from through the thin blinds. Even though his walk in the rain was much shorter than mine, his shirt was clinging now too.

We stood there, maybe ten feet apart, for what felt like too long. I was waiting for him to say something first, but he must have been waiting for me too. When I did finally speak up, he started to talk at the exact same time.

"What?" I asked.

"Just, don't you want to go change? You're awfully..." He trailed off and motioned to me with his hand. I looked down and saw that my bra, which was purple, was clearly visible through my shirt. I took off my messenger bag and dropped it to the floor.

"What, you don't like the look?" He stuttered over his words, so I interrupted. "It's my new style, 'Damp Tramp', what do you think?" I struck a few poses. That made him laugh, and I laughed out of nervousness as I walked to the bedroom. "Make yourself at home," I called out, closing the door behind me.

I pulled off my work clothes and threw on denim cutoffs and a tank, my standard fare for lounging, and walked barefoot back into the main room. I found my brother in the fridge, his head down and his ass sticking out. I told him to grab me a soda, and he brought two out and put them on the island.

"Where were you last night?"

Daniel shrugged, looking tense. "I was just in a funk."

I didn't know whether to push it any further. Part of me--a big part of me--wanted to. I felt like there was something building here and that not seeing him last night only made it worse. But the rest of me, the part that won out, was happy he was here now. So I said so.

"I'm glad you could come by," I said, instantly regretting it. I took a drink of my soda, wishing it were something stronger.

"I'm feeling a lot better now," I heard him say.

"That's good I guess. You didn't miss much anyway, but I'm still glad I had it. It's nice to be reminded that you have people in your life, you know?"

He motioned to the roses he had brought. "I bet people loved these," he said sarcastically. They were dry and wilting.

"Oh yeah, really brightened up the place."

"You know, you can throw them out. I won't be offended. I mean, they are dead."

"Hey, my place, my rules. I'll throw 'em out when I'm good and ready." I walked over to the box he had placed on the table. "Now what's in the mystery box?"

He didn't respond, so I found a little bit of tape sticking up on one side and pulled it off, taking some of the cardboard with it. I opened the flaps and examined the contents. There was a bundle of opened letters secured with a rubber band, a few books, and my modest DVD collection.

"Oh sweet, an actual use for the TV," I said, holding up the DVDs and perusing the titles.




Just What I Needed



"You don't watch anything on it?"

"Nada. You know how much TV I watch, but it's not like I could even if I wanted. Michael and I haven't gotten cable yet. Oh sweet! I forgot about this one." I held up Labyrinth for Danny to see.

"We haven't watched Labyrinth in ages!" he exclaimed, grabbing the DVD case from my hand. It was nice to see the Danny I'd grown up with spark back into him. "God, we wore out the VHS we had of this. I asked mom what happened to it once, and she said she'd thrown it out."

"That's what happened to it?"

"I know, right? I couldn't believe it either. When'd you get it on DVD?"

"Not me, actually," I said, "Michael got it for me after a very long rant about how ridiculous it was that he'd never seen it. We watched it together, and you know what?" Danny looked at me expectantly. "He said didn't like it."

"The nerve on that guy! Seriously, Beck, I can pummel him, you just say the word." He put down the movie and made a repeated fist-in-palm motion, which made me laugh.

"Oh stop," I said laughing, putting my hands on his. "Nobody's pummeling anybody." His hands opened and took mine, and when I looked up, he was smiling. I felt something flutter in my abdomen.

"Do you want to?" he asked.

I swallowed. "Want to what?"

"Watch it!" he said, his expression bright. My eyes went down to the case on the table and my brain sighed in understanding.

"Now?" I supposed I could. Michael wouldn't be home for hours.

"Come on, let's do it. You don't have any popcorn do you?"

I checked the pantry and couldn't find any, but I did find some pretzels, and of course we still had our sodas. I loaded the disc in the side of the TV and headed to the sofa, where Danny had already set up camp in one corner, his sneakers strewn across the floor. I plopped down next to him, and noticed something conspicuously missing from the little coffee table.

"Um, where's the remote?" I asked.

My brother just looked at me with one raised eyebrow, stifling an obvious grin, with both hands incriminatingly behind his back. I held out one hand and gave him a look.

"Nuh uh," he said.

"You're being a child," I said, but I was grinning anyway. I slowly edged my hands toward him before lunging at his sides, trying to reach around them to his back. In a swift motion, he raised his right hand as high as he could bring it, and my own hands followed upward in hot pursuit. I lost my support, and fell into him as I reached up, my chest pressing against his face.

"Stop it!" I said with a giggle, his arm still flailing to keep the remote away from me, but I wouldn't give up. I lifted my bare legs and crawled across his body, causing several grunts and groans every time I put a knee down, and when I finally reached it he relinquished it willingly.

"Gotcha!" I said, but instead of climbing back down, I felt my brother's other hand moving up my leg. He dropped his other arm until both of his hands were on my hips, and then with sudden force he pushed me across the loveseat to the far end. My back hit the cushion that rested there, and I fell into a sitting position, my legs on the sofa up against him. We sat there for a moment looking at each other, catching our breaths.

Eventually he nodded toward the TV and said, "Shall we?"

I said sure, and clicked the TV on, hitting play at the menu. I wasn't in the most comfortable position, so I started to adjust myself. I saw him move his arms as if making room, and on autopilot I put my legs across his lap.

"You don't mind, do you?" I asked.

"Not at all," he said, not shifting his view from the movie.

We watched mostly in silence, my legs absent-mindedly moving across his lap, my feet shifting across the far end of the loveseat. I soon became all too aware of a stiffness in his jeans that I could feel on the back of my calves, but I made no sign that I had noticed.

I didn't know what I was doing. There was some sibling teasing going on, but this was something else entirely. I lost focus of the movie, which I had seen dozens of times before anyway, and started to wonder when this had started. Something told me that it hadn't just been a week ago, but if I were asked to pinpoint exactly what had happened I don't think I could. It was looks, mostly; I'd catch him looking at me, or my eyes would linger in his a little too long before looking away. I'd always ignored it and moved on, pretending it was just a game or that it was nothing, but that was getting a little hard to do when the issue was pressing against the back of my legs. And of course there was the fact that I was not only doing nothing to stop it, but actually pushing it forward. But I couldn't stop myself and, more to the point, I wasn't sure I wanted to.

I stole a glance at Danny and saw that he was looking down at my legs rather than at the movie. His hands lay at his sides under my legs. I slipped my toes under his far arm, using my feet to lift it up so it was on top of my legs. He looked up at me and I nodded. He got his nearer arm out and put them on top of my legs, too. I felt his hands touch me, caressing my legs, his fingertips slowly tracing their way from my feet to my knees. From time to time, he would knead the muscles of my lower thighs, and even move up to where my cutoffs started, but he'd never go further than that, always trailing his way back down. It felt luxurious and sensuous and erotic and incredibly forbidden all at once, but I just sat and watched the movie.

At some point I scooted my ass down toward him so that I was lying flatly and my legs were extending out over the other edge of the couch. He tried to keep his hands at my thighs, but I slowly took the one closest to me and brought it down onto my stomach, inviting him to caress me. His fingers tentatively began exploring me there, swirling around in circles, teasing toward the bottom of my tank top. After a few butterfly-filled minutes, I felt his fingertips pushing up the hem, exposing the skin of my stomach. I felt a surge of blood in my face and between my legs as his movements became more deliberate, one hand still stroking the inside of my thigh and the other on my abdomen. Eventually I could no longer even pretend to be watching the film, and I looked over at him. His steely eyes were focused squarely on mine, his expression indecipherable. I could see arousal and lust, but I could also see something else, something that looked a lot like fear.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a little afraid too.

Looking me squarely in the eye, he started moving his flattened hand up the skin of my stomach under my tank top toward my breasts, and I closed my eyes and leaned my head back while my breathing quickened.

We both jerked violently when we heard my phone ring, his hands ripping away from me and going to his face. I heard us both take several deep breaths trying to compose ourselves. I swung my legs around and stood up, but I had moved too quickly, and I wobbled and fell to my hands and knees on the carpet.

"Are you okay?" I immediately heard him croak out. He cleared his throat and asked again, but I just said I was fine. I slowly rose and walked over to my bag, which was still leaning against a leg of the table, and fished out my phone.

"It's Michael," I said, looking up at my brother, hoping he'd tell me not to answer it. But he didn't. He just motioned a gesture signifying I should probably do something. I hesitantly tapped the call on.

"Hey Michael," I said. I sounded hoarser than I meant to.

"Hey honey, you all right?" I heard him say, the sounds of his restaurant's kitchen in background. Danny was looking at his hands now, flipping them over and over.

"Yeah," I said, pushing my hair out of my face and sitting in a chair at the table. I cleared my throat and said, "I'm fine. What's up?"

"They're letting me off early tonight, some event downtown's pulling all our usual business." I saw Danny reach for the remote and mute the TV, standing up. His jeans were tenting with an erection I had caused. "Do we need anything at the store?"

"Umm," I stalled, forcing myself to look away from the bulge across the room, not wanting to think right now, not wanting to be in a conversation with Michael right now. "No, I don't think so. Oh wait." I got up and went to the fridge, where a list was tacked on with a magnet. I read off the few things that were on it and looked over to see my brother peeking through the blinds. Michael said he'd see me soon, and I accidentally hung up without replying.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he replied, still looking out the window.

"Has the rain stopped?"

"Yeah. Still a bit wet, though."

Slowly, I walked over to him in silence. I could hear the dripping of gutters still dealing with the weather and see the sunlight, which faded when Danny dropped the shades and they swung back to covering the window.

I felt terrible. I wanted to hug Danny, but he didn't look like he would be particularly receptive to that right now.

"He'll be home soon," I said.

"I should probably go."

"You're probably right."

How was I supposed to handle a situation like this? I didn't want him to go, but the last thing I wanted was for him to be here when my boyfriend came home. My boyfriend! As if it wasn't bad enough that I was getting physical with my brother--not a step-brother, not a half-brother, my full-blood brother Daniel--I was also cheating on my boyfriend. My head was swimming in every direction, almost all of them bad. The one thing that didn't seem so bad was standing right in front of me, obviously in as much turmoil as I was.

"I think we probably shouldn't see much of each other for a while," he said. Of all the things he could have said, that hurt the most.

"Don't say that," I said. "We were both just in a weird mood today, that's all."

"Maybe. Still, some space wouldn't hurt. At least for a little bit."

I wanted to argue, to tell him everything was fine, but I couldn't even make myself believe it. Maybe he was right and we really shouldn't see each other for a while.

"Okay," I said in resignation. "But I still expect you to text me sometimes, alright? I'm not going to let you get away with avoiding me completely."

"Deal," he said with a forced smile.

We stood there awkwardly for a moment before I leaned in and hugged him. If I wasn't going to see him for an indeterminate amount of time, I at least wanted that last little bit of contact before he left. He didn't hug me back right away, but when he did it was a good reminder of how bad my own internal conflict was. Maybe it was just as well I wouldn't have him around to remind me.

When I felt him start to let go and pull away, I held him a little longer and moved my head to kiss him on the cheek. It was probably a dumb move under the circumstances, and kind of weird for me, but my impulsive side decided to do it anyway.

Before I could complete even that small gesture, Danny jerked his face away from me like he'd been hit. I felt a sudden force push me back hard and I hit the wall behind me before bouncing off onto the floor. My brother stared down at me with his arms still outstretched from pushing me and an unreadable expression on his face. I must have freaked him out, like he thought I was going to kiss him for real or something.

"Danny, I..." I started, trying to figure out how to apologize, and what to apologize for. I assumed he'd do the same, say he was sorry, help me off the floor at least, but instead he just turned and opened the door. "Danny?" I said again, confused and worried this time.

He walked out and shut the door behind him without so much as a backward glance. I stared after him for a minute or two hoping he'd come back, but he didn't. I'd fucked up, that was all there was to it. One simple little thing that I shouldn't have done, and I might have blown my chances of my brother wanting to so much as talk to me in the near future. Not knowing what else to do I curled up on the floor right where I was and cried.

* * * * * 

Michael found me like that when he got home half an hour later. At first I spurned all of his efforts to talk to me, but eventually gave in and tried to blame it on the movie. He noted that I hadn't reacted that way the last time we'd watched it, but let it go. I know he didn't believe me, but we both knew I'd never tell him what was really bothering me. I thought it was better that way.

Things went more or less back to normal after a day or two. His "band" was getting a few small gigs, and I even went to a couple of them, but they weren't really my thing. Plus I was getting a lot of extra shifts at work and couldn't always make the shows, which was good because it kept me distracted from thinking too hard about Danny.

Or maybe it wasn't so good that I was keeping so busy, because it took me a while to realize just how often Michael wasn't around. A few times when I tried to call him his phone was off, and while I figured he was just on stage or forgot to turn his phone back on the first few times, after a while I started to wonder. I tried texting Jerron, asking where the show was, only to find out that there wasn't anything going on that particular night. When Michael did finally make it home, it was three in the morning and he was a little more than a little tipsy. When he wanted to be, Mike was a closed book, so it was hard to read him let alone get useful information from him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but started to have my suspicions.

If it were true, I couldn't help at least partly blaming myself. I'd grown cold and withdrawn over the past month or so. Even when I managed to pull through for a really good day, something always reminded me of Danny.

One night, Michael got off early. He came in while I was on the bed on my laptop and crawled in next to me.

"Hi," he said.

"Hey," I replied.

"How you doin' today?"

"Fine," I said distractedly.

He waited for me to say something else, but I didn't. I felt two of his fingers walking along my stomach, making their way to my side. He raised his hands and started to tickle my sides.

"Stop," I said. This wasn't funny. He kept at it. "I said stop." I tossed the laptop onto the bed and shoved his arms away. Not that. Anything but that.

His expression looked like he was a puppy and I had just kicked him in the face.

"Becky, what am I doing wrong?"

"I just don't want to be tickled right now, okay?" I turned away from him.

"You know that's not what I mean. You've got to open up to me or we're never gonna make this work. Something's been on your mind, and it's driving me crazy not knowing what it is."

"Maybe you should try leaving your phone on once in a while, maybe you'd find out if you did that." That wasn't true, but I had to deflect the conversation anywhere I could.

He hesitated before replying. "I just turn it off for my shows, I have to, you know that."

I turned and gave him a look. He tried to laugh nervously.

"Becky..."

"I know," I said, giving in a little. I didn't want this to turn into a full-blown argument, especially if I wasn't completely sure he was fooling around. But his reaction nudged me even further in that direction. "You want to know what's been bothering me?"

"Of course I do," he said.

I had to give him something. "It's scary being on my own, okay? Actually being responsible for myself, buying my own groceries, picking up my own prescriptions. I found out that my mom's already trying to remodel my room, and it makes me feel even more like I'm on my own than I've ever felt before. On top of that, I can't even get my brother--" My voice broke out for a moment and I started tearing up. I felt a surge of intense anger realizing how pissed I was at him for how our last encounter ended. I used my palm to wipe the tears from my face. "--to call me back. I feel like I've lost almost everyone in my life. I feel more alone than ever, and when you aren't here almost every night on top of that it drives me crazy." There was a lot more truth in there than I had wanted. I hugged my knees and waited for him to say something.

"Jesus," he said. At least he seemed genuinely concerned. He tried to put his arms around me, and I let him. "I'll try to be here more, okay? If it means that much to you. I just, I have my dream too, you know?"

"No, no," I said, putting myself together. "It's fine Michael. I know that you've got to do what you've got to do. If you aren't working on it every night, it's hard to make it anywhere with your music thing, I get that. Just, I'm sorry, I think a lot of this might just be hormones, too." Even though he seemed understanding, I threw in the last bit because I wanted this to be over.

He was quiet for a moment, concerned for me, but also obviously grateful for my slightly passive-aggressive acknowlegement of his needs. I couldn't help feeling he was being selfish, but who was I to talk. He kissed me on the cheek, and I forced myself not to pull away.

We didn't have sex at all for the following week. The week after, he went back to late nights, sometimes not coming home at all. He'd text me those nights, but rarely call. I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on, especially with his bandmates' Facebook updates blatantly showing that his alibis couldn't hold up.

And of course, my mind went back to Danny. One night after I'd had a few I tried calling him, but he didn't pick up. By June, two months after this whole thing started, I still hadn't heard from him. I decided to try being sneaky. I called our mom.

I managed to slip in asking about Danny in our conversation, feigning disinterest, and found out quite a lot. Mom liked to talk, and for once I was grateful.

Danny had graduated, but had decided against community college, against both our parents' wishes. I could tell there had been fights about this from the way she talked about it. He had gotten a job somewhere working with computers, she said, and was hoping to move out soon. She said she was worried about him, that he disappeared with the car for long periods of time at night. She asked if he'd come to see me, or if I'd heard anything from him. I told her I hadn't.

Two nights later, that changed.

* * * * *

I was making ramen when I heard the knock at the door.

I knew that knock. 

I had heard that knock countless times on my bedroom door back home. 

My mind went into overdrive thinking what I should do, what I was going to say, but now that I knew he was at the door my mind started going blank. All I could remember was the last time he was at that door, being pushed against the wall and left crying on the floor. I lowered the heat and took slow, deliberate steps to the door, habitually looked at myself in the mirror beside it, took a deep breath, and turned the lock.

He stood in the light of the walkway wearing jeans and a disheveled white button-down. He actually looked pretty good, or would have if it weren't for his eyes. They were bloodshot, red from crying. I thought his voice would be broken or something, but it wasn't. It was low and firm and clear.

All he said was, "Is he here?"

"No," I said.

"Will he be here soon?"

"No."

He tried to walk in, but I blocked the doorway.

"Why should I let you in here? After how you left me last time?"

"We need to talk Becky. Do you want to do it on the walkway here?"

I weighed my options and stepped aside. He walked in and I closed the door behind him.

"Why now?" I asked.

"What?"

"Why now do you decide that we need to talk? Because I think the time we really needed to talk was two months ago when you walked out that door."

"I can't excuse what I did, Becky," he said, looking me straight in the eye. "The only thing I have to offer is that at that moment I was scared out of my mind."




Just What I Needed



"And you think I wasn't?"

He sat in one of the chairs at the table, and I sat in one across from him. He put his head in his hands and sighed.

"Did that seriously never occur to you?" I asked.

"I don't know, Beck! You always seem so put together to me. Like you know what you're doing. When we were younger, you always seemed like you were on the path you wanted to be on, like you had it all planned from the start."

"Let me tell you a secret, Danny. I rarely know what I'm doing. I just pretend that I do and it makes it easier. You think I'm some goddess of life planning, well I didn't plan for this to happen! I don't think anybody actually goes out looking for what's been happening here."

He was silent for a moment.

"What?" I said.

"That's not entirely true," he said finally, and he stood up and walked across the room. "Sometimes they do."

I stood up and took a few steps toward him before I stopped. "What are you talking about?" But I already knew what he was going to say.

"I've... thought about you. Before." I tried not to react, but I must have made some expression because when he saw my face he started up again and wouldn't stop. "I feel like it's been happening for years, I'd get thoughts about you, I'd have fantasies, and I'd shut them up. How could I let myself look at you that way? I knew I could never, ever let you know about it. I played innocent, trying to just be a brother to you. But it never did really go away, you know? And then... that night."

He looked pale, like he had spent the last of his resources getting that out of his system, and he looked at me timidly. He seemed so vulnerable in that moment, and just then all I wanted to do was give him a hug. But I needed more first.

"The night we drank," I offered.

He nodded. "I thought you were just being playful, like it was all part of a game, talking about the things you were. But then when I was looking up at you when you were on top of me, I saw something in your eyes..." He looked at my eyes, and I could see pain in his. "...and it scared me. It made me suddenly hopeful but it scared me. And then I thought you were going to kiss me, and even as I felt myself wanting to kiss you I wanted to scream and push you away but I was just frozen there, I couldn't think about what was happening. How could I have let it go so far? How could I let myself get so close to something so horrible?"

I was speechless. Horrible?

His Adam's apple bobbed along his neck as he swallowed and cleared his throat. He started pacing around the room and I was following him.

"And I felt so weak to stop it, I even kissed you on your head at the end of the night, I simply couldn't stop myself. I couldn't stop myself, Becky, and that scared me so much. But I thought, maybe it was just the booze, or maybe it was just an accident, or maybe I just imagined everything, the looks... maybe everything could go back to normal. But it bothered me and bothered me... and I knew I couldn't face you. That's the real reason I couldn't come to the party, you know. I felt like I just couldn't see you yet. And then mom sends me over with your stuff, and I tell myself, 'Okay, I'll just be a normal brother, nothing will happen. Things will be back to the way they were.' And at first I thought they were. I saw that movie and remembered how much time we spent together watching it, I just felt like maybe if we could watch that then things would be like they were, before all of this stopped making sense. But then--" He caught himself. His eyes met mine and I saw him look down at my legs, which were bare. "And I touched them. I touched you. And it almost seemed like you wanted it--"

"Danny," I broke in, "Danny, I do."

"But that's ridiculous!" He said. "How could you want this? How could you want me, I'm your brother! If Mom and Dad found out do you realize how fucked things would be? They'd kill us, Becky. They'd disown us, they'd tell everybody and we'd be ostracized by everyone we know. They'd send us to prison, or maybe even kill us, I don't know! You can see why I could never tell you, never let you see."

"Danny!" I said. "Now who's being ridiculous here? Mom and Dad would never kill us. Do you think I tell them what I've done with Michael? Do you think I'm ever going to tell them that sort of thing? Why do you think I'd even dream of telling them that I let my brother feel me up and that I liked it?"

"There you go again making jokes about this. What do you think this is," he said, his voice getting louder, almost to a shout. "Do you think this is a game? Is this a game to you?"

"No!" I yelled back, fighting back tears. "This isn't a game, Danny! This is real fucking life! We're adults now. This is when we have the power to do what we want to do. We're the only people who can deal with this, Danny, we're the only people who can work this out. It's just you and me. And when I tried to kiss you, even just to show you that I care about you, you pushed me away."

"Becky, listen! I--"

"No, you listen! If we were to kiss, what would be so wrong about that? Huh? Tell me, tell me what's the worst thing that could happen!"

"Is that what you want?!"

"Yes!"

"Is that really what you want??"

"Yes!"

I felt him before I saw him rush me, his hands pinning my shoulders against the wall behind me, his face pressing my head against the wall, his lips attacking mine with unbridled fury. They stung me as they went, his teeth lightly nicking mine as he twisted and twirled his face into me. It was all I could do not fall, my knees completely weakened and unwilling to support my weight.

He must have felt me slip, because I felt his body press up against mine, pinning me into place against the wall, his hands moving to my head, his fingers running through my hair against my scalp, his fingernails scratching as they pressed into me.

Recovering from the shock, my arms reached around his body and held him even closer, squeezing him as his kisses grew softer. My body was on fire. I felt his fingers firmly trace down the sides of my head to my shoulders again, only this time they went lower. I felt one hand slip down my side to my waist, and the other come down to my breast, where he started to knead and squeeze me. It was too hard and it hurt a little, but I didn't care. I was tasting his mouth, exploring his tongue with mine, and I couldn't think. My only thought was that I wanted more.

His lips pulled away from me but his face stayed up against mine. Our eyes closed, our faces touching, his hot breath against my mouth.

I finally regained enough control of my muscles to push myself off of the wall, sending him backwards. We must have tripped over something, because next thing I knew I was on top of him and we were on the floor and he was holding the back of his head, laughing.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"I have an answer for you," he said cradling my face in his hands. "So far, the worst thing that happened is I hit my head on the floor."

I nuzzled up to his face. "And is that so bad?"

"I think I'll live," he said smiling, and he kissed me again. We kept kissing, softer now, mixing tongues, and when I next pulled away I saw a thin strand of saliva connecting the two of our mouths, my mouth to my brother's. I giggled and went back for more.

I felt his hands reach down to my thighs, pulling them up so I was straddling him, my ass pressing into his crotch. I could feel the start of an erection pressing into me, but the denim was too thick to feel anything but pressure. His hands roamed up to my ass, where they squeezed firmly before continuing up to the bottom of my shirt. I felt his fingertips go under the fabric and touch my bare skin, and it was as if he were conducting electricity. I shivered as his fingers ran higher until I couldn't take it anymore. I sat up on him and pulled my top off, revealing my silky blue bra, and his hands came around to my sides, touching me fully, and went to my stomach.

Danny couldn't stop staring at my face, the bra, his hands on my skin, and I watched his stubbled face as I unclasped my bra and let it fall. It was delightful seeing his expression change as my breasts came into view, and it made me feel warm. His hands moved north until they cupped my breasts, which he squeezed and fondled as I ran my hands over his chest. I started to undo his buttons one at a time, which became harder as he switched his focus to teasing my nipples, but I finally managed to undo the last button and spread his shirt wide.

I hadn't seen his fully bare chest in years, not since we last went swimming together on a family vacation to Oregon after my freshman year of high school. A lot had changed; he had lean and slender muscle definition all along his chest now, including what appeared to be abs, but it didn't look like he had been working out or anything. He had a small tuft of hair on his upper chest, which I ran my fingers through, and a thin, light trail of hair going down to his stomach all the way into his pants. I ran my hands from his shoulders all the way to his stomach and back up to his shoulders, leaning down as I went back up, pressing my bare body against his. 

I kissed him again, but he moved his kisses to my cheek, past my jaw and onto my neck. I went weak as my brother kissed and licked my neck, planting tiny nibbles every so often, my head tingling and numb to any coherent thoughts. I just held onto him as he worked.

Soon I felt his pelvis thrusting up against me, and I gyrated my hips in tandem with his movements; I was so beyond horny I could do nothing else. I felt his hands disappear from me and I wondered where they went, when I felt a sharp sting on my ass where he slapped me. I jerked and gasped at impact, a surge of pleasure coursing through me, his soft lips still loving my neck as he spanked me. I tried to say something but it came out as barely a whisper.

"What was that?"

"Harder," I said, my voice coarse and weak.

He spanked me again and again, sometimes squeezing my cheeks betweens slaps. I would have let him go on, but I heard water boiling over onto the stove.

"Fuck!" I said, getting up and dashing over to the stove to move my ramen and turn off the heat completely. It had boiled over while I was distracted.

I turned back toward Danny, my face flush and my body still tingling, when I felt him rush me again. He pushed me against the back counter and I felt his hands under my thighs, picking me up and sitting me down on the counter. I leaned my upper back against the cupboards and shoved away the cutting board and some fruit trying to find a place for my hands. His face kissed my cheek, my chin, my collarbone, between my breasts, making its way down my front. I felt his fingers on the front of my shorts as he unbuttoned them and started to pull them down. As he was kissing past my navel I took one hand and grabbed his hair and made him look up at me.

"Danny," I said pleadingly. I asked him with my eyes if he was sure that he wanted this.

His eyes stayed fixed on mine as his lips slowly met with my tummy and he kept kissing down, eventually reaching the top of my panties. I dropped my hand to the counter and pushed myself up, allowing him to pull my shorts and panties down my legs and off my feet. He threw them to the floor, and returned to my spread legs, staring intensely at my pussy while he wrapped his arms around my legs and pulled himself in.

I tried to take deep breaths and relax, but found it hard to control my breath. I was pulsing down there, and it was hard to focus on anything.

He nuzzled his nose against the small tuft of pubic hair that I kept trim above my slit and inhaled deeply. Feeling my brother's breath exhale onto my slit sent chills up my spine, and when he started to kiss me there I just grabbed his head and pulled him in. I had abandoned all restraint, and it had never felt so good.

He licked and lapped my folds, sucking and nibbling gently on my labia, carefully working his way upward bit by bit. I kept feeling his tongue try to scoop the juices out of my pussy, juices that were mixing with his saliva and spreading all over his face. When I couldn't take it anymore, I grabbed his hair and yanked him to where I really need attention, and he eagerly went to work there.

He sucked and flicked my clit with his tongue and I heard myself moaning louder than I'd ever dared, my vision blurring and my eyes rolling back as he sucked and smacked at my pussy. I was breathing so hard that I was getting lightheaded, and my heart was pounding furiously in my chest. Despite how incredible it felt, despite how much I loved feeling him eat me, I suddenly needed to stop.

"Danny," I tried to get out, but he must have mistook it for a moan, because he just started licking harder. "Danny!" I said louder, forcing my hands to push his head away. He fell backward onto his ass, and his expression was priceless. It looked like he was worried, but was too horny to put his face together fully.

"Was I doing okay?" he said, his face shining with wetness. It made me laugh to myself. I put one hand on my pussy and very gently touched myself, easing myself down from what was happening a moment ago.

"You did fine, I just, I just I need a sec." I slid wetly off the counter while he stood up. I somehow managed to grab a cup and fill it with water at the sink, taking a long drink and passing it to him. He shook his head and knocked it onto the counter, thankfully spilling into the sink, before moving toward me. My face started burning with anticipation of what was coming next, and I backed up against the back counter, his body pressing against mine again his hands on my face pulling me into his, moving my head to his kiss. I could taste myself all over him, and it was intoxicating.

He was grinding up against my pelvis, and I reached down to the front of his jeans and felt his erection pressing against my hand. I kept having worried pangs, alarms going off in my head telling me that I shouldn't be doing this, that I shouldn't be wanting this so much, but then I saw his face when I pulled away from his kiss, and my brother's dopey, blissful expression eased the pangs away. This was what I wanted, and I knew that it was what he wanted too. In that moment, everybody else on the planet could go fuck themselves.

I took both hands and started to undo his belt buckle, and I found it difficult, probably from the distraction of his strong hands roaming over my bare skin. I eventually got it and unbuttoned his jeans. As I slid down his zipper, he pulled his face away slowly and looked at me, still holding me.

"Becky?"

"Present."

"Things can never go back after this."

"I think that line's already been crossed, dummy." I looked longingly over to the wet spot on the counter where he had been eating me out, and he looked too. I took one hand and ran it down over his erection, and even through the fabric of his white boxer-briefs I could feel a surprising amount of definition. My brother was hard as a rock, and it was a nice one. I watched him shudder as I worked from his head to his balls, running the length of my hand over his hard-on. I was incredibly aroused by this, by feeling his cock, by watching his face respond, looking into his eyes. I couldn't help but feel like I was teasing him again, but this time in a most un-sisterly way.

I slid over his body to my knees and yanked his jeans down, leaving my face level with his crotch. He leaned back against the counter on the other side of my narrow kitchenette, and I looked up at him as I ran my hands from his stomach to his thighs and back again. He had an impish grin on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, just, you're beautiful is all."

"I think your judgment might be a little impaired at the moment," I said, tapping lightly on his shaft.

"No, Beck, I've always thought so, and you know you are. You have to know what you do to guys."

"All I care about right now," I said, "is what I'm doing to you." I squeezed his cock and his mouth opened involuntarily. I shifted my focus down, leaning in and tracing my lips along his length, inhaling his musky scent, gently planting kisses along his underwear. My fingertips were at the band at the top, nestling their way underneath to get a grip. I felt like I couldn't stop myself, my face and chest tingling, and I pulled his underwear down, freeing his cock. It fell out and landed on my face, and I just let it stay there as I finished pulling them down to where his jeans pooled around his ankles. 

I brought my hands back up to hold it at the base. I pulled my head back and took a good look. He was circumcised, but I guess I had already figured that somewhere in my mind. He was a good shape and size, not small but still not too big to have fun with. I gently squeezed him as I slowly began to jerk him off, watching as the skin moved along his cock, mesmerized by the tiny bit of precum I saw at his slit. I learned in and licked it off, conscious of but ignoring his shuddering reaction, and kissed the tip of him, feeling him flexing his dick in my hand. I kept jerking him as I went in for more, this time taking just the head of him into my mouth, letting my tongue taste his skin.

"Becky," I heard him moan, his hands gathering my hair and holding it behind my head out of my face. As I let more of him into my mouth, moving my lips down his shaft toward my hand, my tongue left the bottom of my mouth and cradled the underside of his cock, slicking him up. I pulled back to his head, and went back down. I could feel him pulsing inside my mouth, and I could feel the slightest pressure behind my head where his hands were. He wasn't forcing me, but he was definitely guiding my movements, and I didn't mind in the least. I happily kept sucking on him for god knows how long, making love to him with my mouth, enjoying every second of it. From his subtle thrusts into my mouth, I could tell he was loving it too.

"Becky, I'm--"

I quickly, reluctantly, pulled off of him and stopped jerking him off.

"Don't, not yet," I said. He nodded, but looked obviously pained. That made me smile. I stood up, both of us standing in front of each other naked. I felt his hands on my waist, and I put my arms over his shoulders and around his neck. We leaned together, his very wet dick pressed into my tummy, slipping around and causing him to move his hips in a small gyrating motion. I gave him a peck and pulled away a little.

"Come on," I said. "Let's get more comfortable." I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the kitchen and toward the bedroom. Or at least I tried, since he was hobbled by the jeans still around his ankles.

"Hang on," he said, ripping off his shoes and jumping out of his remaining clothes.

He followed me on my walk to the bedroom. Halfway there, he smacked my ass, and I jumped with surprise and giggled another, "Come on!"

When I got to the bed, I turned around to meet him but he didn't stop moving into me and we fell back onto the bed sideways, bouncing a bit as he pinned me like I had pinned him just months before. It felt like it had been only minutes, the memory was so strong. This time, there was no hesitation, and he went straight in to kiss me. I don't think I'll ever get enough of his lips, and this was no exception. I felt delirious, my head spinning as I soaked in every inch of him I could. His weight above me was wonderful, and he pushed and nudged me further onto the bed so that we were more or less straight on it. I felt him lower himself a bit while he kissed me and held me down by my wrists. My legs spread on their own, and I felt him start to press the length of his shaft against my clitoris in little thrusts. I felt like my whole body was burning, my thighs quivering at the sensation and my heart pumping like crazy.




Just What I Needed



It took every ounce of strength to say anything at all. "Danny," I said, "Danny, the drawer." He looked confused at first, but then I saw the lights kick on in his head. He looked to the side of the bed and moved off of me, opening the drawer to the bedside table. He reached in and pulled out a strip of condoms, tearing one off and putting the rest back.

I took the packet from him as he moved back into position and I tore it open, removing the rubber and placing it at the tip of his penis. I rolled it down, feeling the strength of his shaft beneath it. I could not believe what I was doing, but it felt too right to stop. I was delirious, all right. I knew what was going to happen, and I was okay with that. I was okay knowing I was about to fuck my brother.

I took a few fingers and got them wet on my pussy, rubbing the juices over the tip of his dick, moistening the surface and steadying him at my entrance. I felt him press slightly into me before pausing. I put one hand on his hip and my other up above my head on my hair which was strewn out over the bed behind me. I relaxed and looked up at Daniel.

He wasn't moving. He was just propped up on his arms looking at me uncertainly.

"It's okay," I said. "You can--" But I never got to finish my sentence, because he thrust into me and my head rolled back in pleasure. I breathed in sharply, as if his cock had thrust the breath into me. Before I could recover, he had pulled back and thrust again, and it was all I could do to hold on for the ride. My hands went up to his back, and I just held onto him as he moved slowly and deliberately in and out of his big sister. I'm pretty sure I was moaning, but I couldn't say for sure. All I know is at some point he took one hand and tried to put it over my mouth, I guess because I was making too much noise. I bit down on his hand as he fucked me, and it worked as a decent gag.

Eventually he pulled his hand away and forced my wrists back onto the bed, and I cooed in gratitude. His mouth went for my neck, and I lifted my chin to make room. As he kissed my neck I wrapped my legs around his ass and pulled him into me harder with every thrust. I could feel his inches slide into me every time, his pubic bone hitting me when he'd reached his depth. I felt simultaneously helpless and safe, used and appreciated, but most of all loved. I was in heaven.

He pulled out of me suddenly and I groaned my disapproval. "Turn over," he said, and I complied, moving onto all fours. I felt his hands on my ass almost immediately, squeezing and kneading them, pulling my ass cheeks apart before letting go and starting over. He moved his hands up to my hips and adjusted me. I let him move me. I felt his cockhead nuzzling against my pubic hair, and he slowly pulled himself back and drifted his cock toward my entrance. He moved one hand to his member to position himself. I felt him nuzzle my lips apart and I couldn't wait anymore, I thrust my ass back suddenly, taking him into me. He took the hint and started pounding into me, his hands back on my hips pulling my ass toward him with each thrust.

With all the sensation in my lower half, I couldn't hold myself up anymore and I grabbed a pillow and put it under me and dropped my upper half against the bed, my head turned sideways. I felt opened, completely exposed to him and at the mercy of my brother's lustful ministrations. I reached between my legs and started toying with my clit as he worked his cock into me, and I knew I was getting close. I was muttering a mix of profanity and nonsense sounds and every inch of my body was pulsing along with my vagina's contractions. All of a sudden Danny smacked my ass harder than I thought I could bear, the pain and pleasure indistinguishable. He smacked me again and again, grabbing me and pulling me into him.

My orgasm peaked and my brain turned to mush as I quivered and shook. I was leaking all over his cock and onto the bed beneath us. The rest of me collapsed, his hands keeping my ass in the air as he kept moving in and out of me. I wiped the drool off my face as he thrust harder and harder into me, even though I was feeling a little sore. I could feel him start to tense up, and I wanted him to come.

"Come," I told him, knowing he already was. He grabbed my ass and pulled me back onto him as hard as he could. He held me there, jolt after jolt, throb after throb as he came inside his sister.

When he finished, he fell onto the bed beside me and I finally rolled onto my side. I saw him take off the condom and throw it on the floor. We lay there facing each other on the bed exhausted, his eyes closed and mine barely open, watching him. As if I hadn't had enough of him, I felt like I just wanted to soak him in. I raised my hands and gently ran my fingertips over his forearms. His eyes opened and he smiled at me. I looked all around his face and his mess of hair before settling on his eyes. What was it about them that made me feel so safe? It took me a minute, but eventually I realized it was because they looked so much like mine, like mom's.

"What's wrong?" Danny said. "You look like something's on your mind."

I edged over to him and he lay back so that I could snuggle into his side, one arm over his chest and my head on his shoulder. Our legs intertwined and I sighed.

"Nothing," I said. "Just you. Just us." I let that hang in the air for a while before continuing. "What are we gonna do, Danny?"

"I don't know," he said after a thoughtful pause. "I don't have the faintest clue what we're going to do, but I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now, so at least for now I'm okay with that." I felt him pull me closer, and I squeezed him a little and kissed his shoulder. We lay like that for what felt like forever, neither of us wanting to move.

Eventually, he did. He had to pee, and I realized I did too. He let me go first, and he went in when I came out. I went back to the kitchen to get a glass of water and found the glass in the sink was broken. I carefully threw it out and got myself a new one, drinking it entirely before filling it up again. As I was taking a sip, I looked at the oven clock and saw the time.

Shit. Michael would be home soon.

Michael.

My phone was still by the stove and I checked it: no messages, but it was late. Michael'd be off by now. I heard the door behind me open and swung around to see my brother standing naked in the bathroom doorway. Despite everything that had happened, it was still weird to see him like that. Nice, but weird.

He saw the phone in my hand and said, "How much time do we have?"

"Not a lot," I said. "Danny, I'm not sure what I'm going to do about Michael."

"Oh god is he here?" He looked genuinely scared for a moment, but I pacified him.

"No no, not yet, but soon. I mean in general." I went over to him and wrapped my arms around him. "I don't think I want to be with him anymore."

"It's not just because of me, is it?"

"No," I said, pulling back and sitting on a stool by the kitchen. Danny joined me. "I think he's been cheating on me." I saw Danny start making his palm-pounding motion and I laughed a little. "I don't think I have a lot of ground to stand on in that department anymore."

"I guess not," he said.

"I think moving in with him was a bad idea. I thought we'd have something that we didn't have before, but nothing got all that better, and a lot of things have been getting worse."

He reached for the water glass and took a drink. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet," I said. "I think I'm going to break up with him. And as for us..." I looked at him and smiled. I balanced myself on the counter and walked up his legs and onto his lap. He grabbed my feet and smiled back at me. I said, "I can't believe this is happening."

"You and me both, sister." We both laughed at that. I pointed out the time and said that we should probably get moving, and he agreed. Neither of us thought it'd be good for him to be here when Michael arrived, particularly if we were still naked.

I wiped up the counter and straightened some things that had gone astray, and sprayed the fuck out of the bed sheets with some air freshener. It wasn't perfect, but it was the best we could manage. We threw our clothes back on and went to the door. It took a long time for him to leave, mostly because I didn't really want him to go, but eventually he kissed me and opened the door. I promised I'd call, and he said he'd wait for it.

As soon as he was gone, I collapsed on the loveseat, a headache starting to form in my brain. How the fuck was I going to deal with Michael? What was I going to do? I took an aspirin and waited for him to get home.

* * * * *

The fight that followed wasn't nearly as horrible as I thought it would be. He could tell that something was up with me, that something had been up with me. He accused me of daydreaming about someone else (not entirely inaccurate), and I accused him of cheating. He of course denied it, but I pushed it out of him. He did confess eventually, and though I never admitted to who had been on my mind or even that I had done anything, the damage was done. He had it in his head that I had, and he was right. A lot of little annoyances we had with each other came out, too, which felt like more of a relief to finally air them than it was painful to hear them. Neither of us really wanted each other anymore. We were over.

He told me I had to get out, but eventually I got him to let me sleep on the little couch at least until I could find somewhere to stay, two or three days at most I said. I had no idea where I'd go. I texted Danny and told him what had happened, and he texted back that I should come home for the night. I had thought about that, but discarded it; I didn't really want to go home, and I got the feeling that even though I'm sure mom and dad would be okay with it, they didn't really want me coming back so soon either. No, I needed to find a new place.

Danny asked if I was working the next morning, and I said that I wasn't. He told me to meet him in the international district at 9:00 A.M., and I agreed. I kept texting, asking what it was about, but he said it was a surprise and that I'd just have to come and see for myself. I was frustrated and burnt out from my extremely eventful evening, but it felt nice knowing I'd see him again so soon. I set my phone's alarm and relaxed on that tiny sofa. I tried to focus on fixing my living situation, but as I was drifting off I couldn't stop reliving in my mind kissing the boy I never thought I'd kiss.

* * * * *

It was raining when I hopped off the bus near the train station, but I had brought my trench and an umbrella. I saw Danny sitting on the steps with two coffees and I ran toward him.

"You're all wet!" I said as he stood up and stepped under my ample umbrella.

"It's fine," he said. "Here, this one's for you." He handed me one and I took a sip. It wasn't coffee after all, it was a chai latte. My favorite. I gave him as big a hug as I could with my hands full, and he hugged me back. 

"Thanks for this, but you really have to tell me why you asked me out here!"

"Well," he said as he started walking, taking my arm as he did. "There's something I wanted you to see with me."

"Oh really?" I said, taking another sip. "What kind of something?"

"Now I don't want you to get the wrong impression here, and you have to understand, it's entirely up to you whether or not you agree to it, I mean I wouldn't want to force you into anything you di--"

I nudged him roughly and said, "Out with it, dummy!"

"Hey! Good thing these things have lids!"

"Come on, Danny, what's up?"

"Well it's just, I heard you were in the market for a place, and I was too, so I figured we'd both benefit from looking at an apartment."

My brain started clicking into place, and he continued talking. "And the more I look at the market the more I realize it only makes sense to have a roommate, places costing what they do."

"Makes sense so far," I said, grinning and raising an eyebrow at him. I had a feeling I knew where he was going with this.

We stopped suddenly at an old building with a weathered brick facade and he pressed the button marked 302. A woman with a thick accent came on the speakerbox and Danny said he was here for the viewing. We were buzzed in, and Danny held the door for me while I closed the umbrella and entered.

"As I was saying," he said as we started up the stairs, "I think it makes sense for family to share a place. We're already pretty used to living in close quarters, and it would save money, right?"

"Of course," I said. "To save money. Makes perfect sense."

He smiled at me, grateful I was going along with it. "Now you've done this before, so don't be afraid to pipe up if I don't think of something. I have no idea what I'm doing, you know." He tried to wink at me but it came out awkward and forced, which made me giggle.

We reached the third floor and went up to the door. It was ajar, and we knocked our way in.

"Hello?" he said, and a short Vietnamese woman came out from across the room and greeted us. She was wearing cleaning gear and it looked like she'd been working for a while. She introduced herself as the landlord and showed us around the place, pointing out all its nooks and crannies.

I was a little out of it, too distracted by all the turns my life had taken in the last 24 hours. She lead us through telling stories about the previous tenant and everything she'd had to do to fix the place after he had left, and Danny seemed to be seriously weighing different aspects of the place. He kept looking back at me, and I could tell that he was looking for my approval. I gave it. It wasn't a bad place really, but it wasn't anything to write home about. He'd always seemed to put stock in my decision-making skills, and now was no different. I made sure to ask a few key questions of our tour guide, just to look like I knew what I was doing. Finally, she showed us the bedroom.

It wasn't very big, but what made up for it was the window. The other windows had little to showcase except the brick wall across the alley. The window in the bedroom, on the other hand, opened toward the street. We could see a lot of the district from here, building after building, and in the distance a little bit of the sound and the tops of skyscrapers.

I couldn't stop looking, and Danny asked her if we could have a minute to talk. She left us after a little fussing, and Danny joined me at the window.

"Well what do you think?"

"Danny, I--"

"Oh wow, look," he said, forcing up the wide window. I noted there wasn't a screen, and I leaned onto the sill and breathed in the salty air. I felt Danny by my side, his arm touching mine. He moved his hand into mine and our fingers intertwined.

"It's not much of a balcony," he said.

I smiled. "I think it'll do just fine."



Just What I Needed



When I opened the door and see who it is standing there my heart skips a beat. It's not often I see him but the wait is always worth it.

He walks in and fills the hallway with his presence. I shut the door, take his hand and lead him down the hall to the bedroom. I watch his face in the mirror at the end of the hall as we approach. I've seen that look before; he knows what he wants. I am excited. 

Once across the threshold of the bedroom he spins me around and, grabbing my hair, slaps me twice across the face. I reel back but he holds my hair tight and pulls me back towards me. He slaps me once more emphasising his control.

This is how it is going to be tonight. Hard, punishing and just what I needed. 

He smiles at me and I go weak and move in close pressing my face to his broad hard chest, my faced tilted upwards to meet his kiss. His hands drop to grip my ass and he pulls me up towards him. I swing my legs around his waist as we continued to kiss. I suck his tongue as he pulls away from me; I need him, I want him.

"I'm going to fuck you in the ass" he says, looking into my eyes. This is a statement rather than a question requiring affirmation. He knows well he does not have to ask me. I kiss him again.

He walks me to the bed and, lowering me down on to it, pulls off my dress leaving me breathlessly watching him take of his shirt, his body bulky but lean and all mine. He turns again to face me.

"Take off the bra" he orders. I oblige quickly.

"Get up. Walk for me", he orders me.

I get off the bed while he sits and I walk slowly around the room in my panties feigning interest in the furnishings, stopping to look out the window playing with my hair wistfully and all the time looking back at him aware he is watching my ass. I make two circuits of the room and finish by bending over directly in front of him to pick up my discarded bra. My panties ride high between my ass cheeks giving him a prime view of the fine white cotton stretched across my cunt. He reaches up and cups me there sliding two fingers over my lips his thumb pressing against my asshole. I stand up slowly and he reaches for my hand and pulls me towards him telling me to bend over his knee. 

I lie across his legs, my hands and feet touching the tiles, my ass high in the air. He hooks his fingers around the waist band of my panties and slowly pulls them down over my ass and off. He reaches down bunches them up and stuffs them into my mouth; I can smell and taste my own excitement. He slowly rubs my ass and thighs with his right hand, his left hand rubs my back in long slow circles before he slowly winds my hair into his hand tighter and tighter until he pulls back hard forcing my head as high as my ass. I gasp in pain as he jerks my hair and he delivers a hard slap to my ass. The noise is loud in the silent bedroom. He continues to hold my head high as he spanks me several more times. My eyes begin to water at the pain and I feel my cunt swell at the pleasure of it.

He stops as suddenly as he began and, still holding my hair tightly in his fist, lifts me by the hair off his knee and across to the chair where he bends me over the back of it. 

"Stay right there" he says slowly. Deliberately. The threat implicit.

He is gone from me for a few minutes and I miss him but dare not move. I hear him returning from the bathroom and can see from the reflection of the window that he is naked. He touches me and I jump drawing a chuckle from him. He continues and slowly traces a line from my neck down my back and between my buttocks where his large hands cover each ass cheek and he gently parts them leaving me completely and delightfully exposed to his gaze. He drops to his knees and I feel his tongue begin to lap greedily at my smooth cunt, flicking and sucking forcefully at my clit. He continues before slowly moving up to nibble and pull at my lips and then up further where he begins to rim me. 

He makes slow deliberate circles with his tongue around my asshole before licking and jabbing with his tongue. I melt with excitement and soon he is tongue fucking my ass as deep as he can go, stretching his tongue. The feeling is sensational and, as he slips two fingers into my cunt, I cum for the first time screaming my orgasm into my panties. 

I am breathing heavily through my nose and he lets me recover for a few moments before grabbing my hair again pulling me backward up from the back of the chair now damp with our juices and takes the panties from my mouth. I am helpless.

He drops his hands and they grip my waist pulling me back towards him. He nibbles my ear and begins kissing and biting my neck causing me to wince. Regardless, I lean into him further and firmly grind my ass into his groin, encouraging him, urging him on. His cock is large and hot against my thigh. 

His hands drop down to grip my ass and he parts my cheeks his fingers digging in and I can feel my lips part and begin to swell. All the while I feel his breath at the back of my neck quickening. His hands move back to briefly cup my breasts pinching my nipples painfully erect and then up to trace the outline of my wet mouth; I suck on his middle finger as it presses into my mouth. 

"Make it really wet" he rasps and moves his right hand back to my ass. 

I feel the wet finger circle my asshole and dip further round to pick up moisture from my now throbbing cunt. He moves his left hand around to my stomach to steady me as he slides his wet finger up and into my ass, he pushes a second finger in stretching me further and begins to slide both fingers forcefully in and out of me. I begin to thrust back against his fingers wanting them deeper into me, to stretch me further and I shiver at the thought of him pushing his cock deep inside my ass.

He grabs my hair forcing me down onto my hands and knees and walks me by the hair, dog like, to the side of the bed. He pulls me up to my knees and he holds his cock in his right hand pulling the foreskin back urging me to suck him. His cock is thick, dead straight and topped by an incongruously large and bulbous head. It is a wonderful sight with a dew drop of liquid seeping from the eye; the head is an angry purple colour, the skin taught and shiny. 

He pulls my head forward and I lick the dew drop from top of his cock; it tastes slightly salty. He holds his cock flat to his stomach and he pushes my head lower and I begin to lick his balls. They are shaved smooth and I take each one into my mouth and suck and pull on them. He raises his eyes to the ceiling and moans. His balls now sopping wet, he lets go of his cock and it falls with a heavy slap to lie across my face throbbing in expectation as I continue to suck and lick his heavy balls. I turn my attention to the shaft of his cock and I lick its length tracing out the angry swollen snake like vein and take the big mushroom shaped head into my mouth; its girth makes it a tight fit and it stretches my mouth. He tastes of warm, clean skin and as I begin to suck his cock in earnest his hands move to grip my hair again and he slowly begins to fuck my mouth his cock moving further and further in with every slow stroke. He begins to decome more forceful in letting me know what he wants, thrusting his cock with increasing fervour. I know I cannot deep throat him, he's simply too big for me, but I relax and take him as deep as I can letting him feel the hot tightness around the helmet of his cock where my throat narrows and he holds his cock there his hands firm around the back of my head. He withdraws enough to let me breath again and I suck and tongue his helmet for a time before he resumes the relentless fucking of my mouth. The sensations is delightful, due in part to the size of the cock in my mouth, but also the sensation of being helpless, of being owned, of having no choice but to yield to him. 

I reach down between my legs and push two fingers into by soaking cunt and look up at him towering above me; he sees me watching him as he continues to hold my head by the hair and he smiles. I flash my eyes imploring him on and I orgasm for the second time as I flick my fingers back and forth inside me, my cries muffled.

While I come back down he continues to fuck my mouth and I begin to think he is going to cum like this but he has exquisite control and as I feel him quicken and his cock begin to swell in my mouth he withdraws and forces his will on his orgasm subduing it, like he is subduing me. I watch him from the floor knowing what is to come. 

He lifts my panties and again stuffs them into my mouth; he motions with his hand and I turn over arching my back and, with my ass in the air, press my face to the tiles and turn slightly so I can look and reach back. He kneels behind me and with his left hand dips two fingers into my cunt then, transferring the moisture to my ass, he begins to finger fucking me. His right hand works his cock back to its maximum size and girth and I watch fascinated, like a rabbit in the headlights, as the head assumes its previous angry colour; it is large and shiny atop the thick shaft.

"Spread you ass. Wide" He orders.

I reach back with both hands and grasp my ass cheeks pulling them wide apart stretching my ass open for him. He places the head of his cock at my asshole and I feel the pressure and heat of it. My ass stretches painfully as his cock begins to penetrate me and I moan as he applies greater and greater pressure and just as I am at the verge of pullimg away my ass gives and there is a sudden rush as he crosses the tight threshold of my ass and begins to fill my bowel beyond with his cock. He continues to stretch me, his large cock testing me. I start to cry, sobbing into my panties as he pulls my head back sharply by my hair and thrusts his cock to its full length into me. I feel that special yin and yang pleasure unique to anal sex; the pain and pleasure, the fullness of him balls deep inside me.That wonderful fullness.

He shifts position and straddles me, his feet close to my shoulders, and continues to fuck my ass hard, pulling his cock back to the tip before plunging back in again and again. I need to reach out and grip the legs of the chair to top myself ending up in the wall. Despite the pain I push back against his thrusts savouring evergy inch of his length. 

Sometimes he pulls my head back, gripping my hair, reign like, with both hands, riding me like a pony. Sometimes he pulls his cock out completely and gapes me, aroused by the site of my stretched asshole and then he slaps my ass three or four times before plunging back in right to the hilt of his cock. All the while I continue to make muffled cries into my panties. He is relentless.

After a while I feel him slippery with sweat, warm drops dripping from him unto my back and ass. I cum again, ejaculating at the sight of him glistening above me, his cock reaming me remorselessly. 

As his thrusting quickens I feel can him swell in my ass. He is cumming. 

Audibly he pulls his cock from my ass one last time and orders me to turn. He pulls my panties from my mouth and, while he holds them to his nose, he thrusts his slippery, tangy cock into my mouth. 

I suck greedily and begin to swallow as his cock begins to spurt forcefully, flooding my mouth with his hot salty cum.