125 comments/ 126457 views/ 60 favorites Just Beth By: Slirpuff I spent one long year struggling in art school after graduating high school. When that didn't work out, something about me not being good enough, I spent the next two years finding out that the military wasn't my cup of tea either. Using my hard won G.I. benefits I came back home and enrolled in a three-year architectural drafting school, which I really loved. So here I sit on a bar stool, tipping back more than a few, celebrating my graduation with my five best friends in the whole world. It finally seemed my life was on track. "I'd like to propose a toast," Brian, one of my best buddies, said, raising his glass. "To Steve, one of the dumbest sons of a bitch I ever met." "Here, here," everyone yelled, downing what was left in their glass before looking for our waitress or a bartender to order another round. It was then I saw her standing behind the bar. All right maybe I'd had a little too much to drink and just maybe the alcohol was clouding my judgment but nonetheless she didn't catch just my eye, she caught both of them. Even though I don't have a shy bone in my body, I should have just looked and not said a blessed thing. But by now the alcohol had taken over my brain, my mouth was just coming along for the ride. It all started when I looked at her nametag. "Beth, do you like the name David?" I asked the cute bartender as she poured us another round of drinks. "What?" she asked. She probably couldn't hear what I had asked her because of all the noise in the place. "Do you like the name David?" I repeated the question. "Yeah, I guess it's okay. Is that your name or something?" "Nope, that's the name I've picked for our first born if it's a boy but I'm not too sure what we'll call it if it's a girl," I said, still consuming her with my eyes. In disbelief and amazement my buddy Brian looked on. "You fixing to marry this girl, Steve?" Brian asked looking over at me. "As soon as she says yes." "Well I'll be, I didn't even know you two were dating." From there things got a little out of hand. Everyone kept drinking and asking me when I was going to ask her. Before I knew it, my foopa had spread to three other tables and everyone was proposing toasts to Beth and me. "To Beth and Steve, may they always be as happy as they are at this very moment," Brian announced to the entire bar standing on a table in the middle of the room. Everyone applauded and tipped their glass to Beth, who was smiling behind the bar shaking her head from side to side. A fairly tipsy girl jumped on a table and said she hoped our honeymoon was half as hot as hers, she blushed, slammed down her drink, and gave a big kiss to a guy I hoped was her husband. Another roar went out and everyone grabbed a drink and toasted us again. It was getting pretty wild. It seemed the whole bar, including all the bartenders, were now getting into the act. Whoever started the chant 'ask her, ask her, ask her' I haven't a clue but within minutes the whole place was shouting it and stomping their feet. When Brian and Tommy carried me over to the bar and placed me in front of Beth the whole room went silent with the exception of two rather inebriated coeds standing next to me. "Steve, you've got to do it on one knee, don't you know anything?" One of the women next to me shouted. So, very wobbly I got down on one knee and immediately fell over. Brian picked my ass up, smacked me on the top of the head, and told me to try and do it right this time. Struggling to both focus and stay upright at the same time, I looked into those two deep brown eyes of Beth's and asked her to marry me, or something to that effect. I then proceeded to fall over for the second time. The whole bar was dead quiet while Brian and Tommy picked my ass off the dirty floor. Beth tried not to laugh but was fighting a loosing battle. Finally she looked at me, then at all her friends behind the bar, and then back at me again. "Sure, why not. I don't have any plans for after work tonight anyway," she said starting to laugh. She bent over and gave me a kiss to seal our bond. The place erupted with applause, laughter, and another three rounds of drinks. Everyone was congratulating the two of us. I looked at her, smiled, and that my friends, is the last thing I remember. I woke up the following morning not in my own bed and with the biggest hangover I'd ever had. It took me about ten minutes to confirm I was even still alive, breathing, and in Brian's apartment. I saw I was fully dressed with the exception of my shoes. I found the bathroom and only wished that my body would go a little easier on me. I debated about putting my finger or whole hand down my throat. A voice yelling up the stairs that breakfast was ready brought me out of my momentary daze. Somehow I managed to get down the stairs in one piece. Brian's wife, Angie, poured me a cup of hot black coffee, while pushing a plate of toast my way. "Eat this, it'll absorb at least a little of what's in your stomach." Food was the last thing I wanted but she wasn't taking no for an answer. "If you're wondering, Brian and I carried your sorry ass in here last night. You passed out just after you got married." That sobered me up, at least enough to get my mind working again. "Couldn't have been too good of a wedding night, you being passed out and all. But you sure did create a ruckus in there when you dropped down on one knee and proposed to her. When she said yes, the place went nuts. Everyone started planning your wedding and honeymoon. You, however, passed out after the third or fourth round of drinks. By the way, where are the two of you going on your honeymoon?" She laughed walking back to the stove to tend to the bacon I could hear sizzling in her black cast iron skillet. "Very funny," I replied, still trying to remember exactly what did happen. The only thing I was sure of, was that Beth stole my heart last night. What do they say, love at first sight? When Brian came downstairs he was showered, shaved, and way too chipper. "How's the blushing groom?" he asked. "That's blushing bride, stupid," his wife yelled back at him. "Whatever. How was the wedding night? Was she everything you expected?" "She was here?" I looked back hopefully towards the stairs. "Nope, just fucking with you," he said chuckling. "Not too bad looking but a little too skinny for my taste," he said slapping Angie on the backside and then turning her around for a big kiss. "Well, that was quite a night, I haven't had that much fun in a long time. I hope that girl isn't too pissed off at you, but not likely, because her tip jar was sure full by the end of the night." "Her name is Beth," I said still working on my first cup of coffee. "Well, anyway, after all that, did you even get her phone number?" I shook my head no. Hell, I'd somehow even lost my damn shoes. Brian dropped me off at the bar so I could pick up my car. Mine wasn't the only one still in the parking lot. It must have been one hell of a party. I just wished I could remember it all. It took me a full twenty-four hours to recover. I made a hundred promises to myself about never having another drink but knew they wouldn't last any longer than my hangover did. Two days later after work, I was back at Tony's, with flowers in hand. I was bound and determined to apologize to Beth for making an ass out of myself and maybe get her phone number this time around. As soon as I walked through the door a ton of people must have recognized me from the other night and started to clap. Not seeing her on the floor, I walked up to the bar and asked one of the bartenders if Beth was working. The girl yelled, "Beth, your husband is here to see you." She laughed and wasn't the only one. Beth came out of the back room wiping her hands on a towel and immediately saw me. "I see you're still alive. I wasn't too sure you were going to make it." At least she was smiling and not throwing things at me, that was a good sign. "Sorry about the other night. Seems like things got a little out of hand. These are for you," I said handing her the bouquet of cut flowers. "They're kind of a peace offering." When her friend from behind the bar said I was suppose to give her flowers and court her before the wedding not after, everyone started to laugh again. I must have made one hell of a spectacle of myself that night. "Thanks for the flowers, but you didn't have to. Your friends and practically everyone else in here that night filled up my tip jar when someone taped a sign 'Honeymoon Fund' on it." "Again, like I said, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, it wasn't my intent," I told her, eating as much crow as I could stuff into my mouth. "Don't worry about it, I actually had a lot of fun that night. With all the commotion and partying, the hours flew by and before I knew it, I was engaged, had a good start on a honeymoon fund, and watched as my fiancé was carried passed out to someone's car. All in all, quite an interesting evening." She was still smiling so I knew she didn't think I was a total fuck-up. "So, let me try this again," I said taking a deep breath and putting on my best smile. "Hello, Beth, my name is Steve Moore, and I would love to take you out on a real date if you're so inclined." "Steve, you seem like a real nice guy but to be honest, I don't have the time right now to add a boyfriend to my busy schedule. I work at least three nights a week and go to school almost every day. Between school, work, and homework I don't even have any time for myself." "But, you still have to eat, don't you?" "Steve, I bring a bag lunch here and when I go to school. I just don't have the time to go out for a formal dinner. I'm sorry, maybe sometime later on." What's that stupid cliché, where there's a will there's a way? Well, I guess when you're smitten with someone your brain goes into overdrive. Two phone calls to her boss at Tony's and I had the makings of a great plan. I found out Beth always took her dinner break between eight thirty and nine o'clock when she worked. I then told Kenny, her boss, what I had planned for Friday night. "Look Steve, if you want to romance her I don't have a problem with it, but if it disrupts my business I'm pulling the plug. Understand?" I agreed to his terms, what choice did I have anyway? Getting her fired wouldn't be too cool. So with her boss's okay and a little help from the head bartender I put my plan in motion. At seven forty-five I picked up the two meals I had ordered the day before at Antonio's. I had already swung by the liquor store for the bottle of wine. The bakery had made up a special dessert just for the occasion. At eight fifteen with a hot bag and cooler in hand, I walked into the bar and set up everything at a corner table they'd reserved just for us. I was done at eight twenty-five, five minutes to spare I thought to myself. At eight twenty- eight I lit the two small candles on the table. At precisely eight thirty Beth's boss relived her and told her that there was dinner waiting for her, pointing in my direction. Beth walked over not totally sure what was going on. "Steve, I told you." she started to say before I stopped her. "You've still got to eat, don't you? I just stopped off at McDonald's and picked you up a little something on my way over here. Nothing special, just something to munch on." She smiled looking at the table. "I don't like Chablis wine," she said sitting down. It seemed like everyone in the place was looking at us. "Note number one to self, no Chablis wine, anything else?" "Steve, just sit down and eat, I've only got a half hour to get through this meal." The food was good. Hell, the food was great. It better have been for what I paid for it. We ate in silence while we kept making eye contact with one another. She had just half a glass of wine, something about not drinking on the job. When we got to the dessert she smiled and shook her head. It was a tiny white cake with an even tinier bride and groom on the top. Written in red icing were the words, Just Married. "You don't give up, do you?" "Not when I see something I want." She just shook her head again as more than one person walked by to see what the hell we were doing. At precisely eight fifty-four we were done. She looked me right in the eyes and asked what I was planning for tomorrow night. "You'll just have to wait until tomorrow and see now, won't you?" "You're a nut, you know that?" "If I wasn't, you'd probably not be having dinner with me now, would you?" She got up, gave me a peck on the lips and went back to work. "Yes," I said pumping my fist and tasting what was left of her on my lips. On my salary there was no way I could do a meal like this one every night, so I mixed it up on the nights she worked. Barbeque, a Caesar salad, French bread subs, Mexican, and stir-fry were all items I could make at home and bring into the bar. She finally relented and let me take her to a movie, but I had to drop her off right after, something about a term paper being due in two days. On her days off I would either call or e-mail her. I was persistent but made sure I kept my distance and gave her all the space she asked for. A few of her friends at the bar said that if she didn't want me, to toss me their way. After finals we had our first full-fledged date. I picked Beth up at her parents' house. I brought a box of chocolate for her and flowers for her mother. I was trying every trick in the book. Her mom and dad gave me a once over and within five minutes we were out the door. I was going to rent a two-seater sports car for the night but after finding out what they wanted for a Porsche or a Viper I got that idea out of my head rather quickly. So, I picked her up in my eight-year-old Chevy Impala, at least it was washed and freshly vacuumed. "I hate to even ask what you're planning for tonight," she said getting into my car while I held the door open for her. She commented that chivalry wasn't dead, after all. "I hope your passport is in order, because our flight to Paris leaves in two hours." I smiled, she didn't. "Steve, you're trying too hard. I don't expect or want to be wined and dined every night. How about if tonight we go out for a pizza and just talk? What do you say?" They kicked us out of Pizza Hut just before eleven. For once I became the listener, which for me was damn hard. She started at grade school and went up from there. Her passion was graphic design and marketing. Beth said she was good but nowhere near good enough to grab the type of job she wanted. She had one goal and one goal in mind and no one, including me, was going to stop her from achieving it. As she put it, I could help and support her or get the hell out of the way, it was my choice. For me it was never an option, I was in love. So that's how I met and did my best to woo Beth. Our dating was full of pitfalls and compromises but we persevered and moved on. However, I was told from day one, when we first started going out, that we would be exclusive or not at all." "I don't want to have to worry about you coming over to see me after being with someone else. I don't share. If you're with me, you're with me all the way. In one way I think it was some crazy kind of test but Beth didn't have anything to worry about, at least from me anyway. That year and a half, until she graduated, was the longest of my life. Between my working full time, plus the required overtime when we got busy, and her crazy schedule, we grabbed for every available minute we could. A lot of times she was so tired, we would just sit on her couch downstairs in her basement and watch television. Or let me rephrase that, I would watch television while she slept in my arms. No consolation prize through, since I had her in my arms. Sex? Well, there wasn't to be any of that I was told, another one of her many conditions. No condoms, no trying to pull out at the last minute, or even birth control pills on her end. Until she had a ring on her finger the best I could hope for was a hand job or an occasional blowjob if I was really good. She on the other hand, did get to enjoy fingers a pianist would kill for and a tongue that was experienced enough to take the edge off any night of studying or cramming for a final. As she put it, there would be no slip-ups and she made sure of that. Did I complain and pout? I did in private along with a little hand relief but sucked it up when we were together. All right maybe I overdid it, like I said I'm a little over the edge. When I ordered it I guess it didn't seem to be that outlandish at the time. So behind the stage at the college, while they were passing out the diplomas, there rose up an eight-foot diameter silver balloon that just said one thing, 'You did it, Beth!' Everyone laughed and clapped while a red faced Beth accepted her hard won diploma. Her graduation party was nothing like mine. It was at her parents' home and there was plenty of food. I donated a keg of beer but made sure this time I didn't overdo it. Her family, friends, and even a few schoolmates came. I stood back and watched her beaming over it finally being over. I had bought her a little something and planned on giving it to her that night but then changed my mind at the last minute. This was her day not our day. She deserved the limelight and there was no way I was going to cut into any of it, even though I was secretly ready to explode. Much to my dismay, it wasn't what I really wanted to give her, but on my salary I couldn't afford what I thought she really deserved. It was white gold and was not quite a half-karat. It had two small baguette diamonds on each side and the center stone was set up high enough that it looked and shone brilliantly on it's own. Well, I thought so. We'd talked about marriage—I had anyway, but was always shot down when I brought it up. "Steve, I really do care for you, but I can't even think of a commitment like marriage until I'm out of school and have a job. What would happen if I get a good job and they want me to transfer somewhere far away? Would you give up your job, pull up stakes, and follow me? We'll have plenty of time to talk about it after we're both settled." Unlike her, I had already found a great job. I was working for Centex Homes and was moving up their ladder. I'd started off strictly on the drawing board, making changes on existing blue prints when a customer wanted this or that moved around. Working occasionally with the crews in the field gave me the hands-on experience and confidence I had been lacking when I first started. Plumbing was pretty easy to learn, especially using the new PVC piping, but doing electrical tested me on many occasions. It took me about two years to finally gain the crews' confidence, that I knew what the hell I was doing when I did this revision or that one. When I spent a weekend pulling wire, when two of the workers called in sick, they stopped calling me a rookie and finally accepted me as almost an equal. Hell, most guys had at least ten to fifteen years under their belt and my measly two years just pushed me over the rookie stage. As I said, I was almost one of them. "Steve, I need you to give me your best labor and material estimate on how much these changes will cost me," my boss, Greg, requested one evening just before five. He handed me a stack of changes and a roll of blueprints. "Also, I need it done before noon tomorrow, if at all possible." That was said with the damn know-it-all smile of his. "No problem," I said without even looking at what he had given me. I wished I wouldn't have opened my big mouth before reviewing the changes. For the first time in months I begged off taking Beth out. I told her I had a test of my own to study for. Being the consummate student she was, she understood completely. I finished up my preliminary figures just before one o'clock in the morning and after checking and rechecking my figures I handed them all to my boss just before our nine thirty coffee break. Just Beth Greg took everything along with a fresh cup of coffee back to his office and shut the door. I figured by noon or at least by the end of the day he'd say something, but he didn't. I was still at my desk at five thirty when he came out, told me to have a good evening and left. I spent a miserable night wondering, seconding guessing my figures and even myself. By nine o'clock the next morning I couldn't take it any longer. "Greg, I was wondering if you had a chance to look at those figures I gave you yesterday?" I said sticking my head into his office. "Yeah, they looked okay," he said without looking up from the pile of papers he was working on at his desk. "Okay, thanks, I guess?" I replied tentatively. Now he looked up. "Steve, I pay you to do what I ask correctly the first time. If I didn't like the figures, don't worry you would have been the first to know," he said with a smile. "Now, if you don't have anything else to do, I'm sure I can find you something." "No, I've got stuff to do, I was just wondering." "Look, you did fine. Maybe next week we'll talk about you doing a few more jobs for me. Right now I'm busy, so if you don't mind." I was out of there in a flash but had this huge Cheshire cat smile on my face, and the only way it was going to go away is if it was surgically removed. I'd done good. I had a future with them if I wanted it. And at the least I was learning things I could take anywhere I went. After that week Greg always gave me more than I could possibly handle. I felt like I was back in school and he was the teacher giving me test after test to see how far I had come. More than once I was about to cry 'uncle' but I never did, my dad didn't raise a quitter. Six months later he handed me four sets of blueprints and told me I'd been promoted and to get him pricing as soon as possible. "I thought that's what I've been doing all this time?" "Yeah, I suppose you have, but now you've got the job title that goes along with it." Beth and I went to dinner that night to celebrate. Night after night I walked around with the damn ring in my pocket. So many times I wanted to drop down on one knee and ask her, but something was always coming up, or it just wasn't the right time. Friday was again turning out to be that type of night. We had gone to a movie, picked up a pizza, and went back to her parents' house to eat. With her dark brown hair pulled back into a ponytail I took a good look at her face and eyes. I was hopelessly in love with this woman. She wasn't a ten in everyone's book but she was in mine. She had a nice body and a round booty that begged to be squeezed. In the middle of eating a piece of pizza I stopped, dropped it down on my plate, and started making out with her. This wasn't just lip kissing, it was wet passionate lip mashing with a whole lot of tongue. "Wow, what brought this all on?" Beth asked pulling back a bit. "Beth, I'm in love with you. Hell, I've been in love with you forever. I want, no, I need you to be with me by my side." "Steve, what are you saying?" "You know exactly what I'm saying. The same thing I've been saying for the last year. I want to marry you and live happily ever after as the story goes." Steve, we just need to wait a little longer. I've got two job offers, and I just need to be sure. We've come this far, what's another year or so?" "A year or so?" I shouted a lot too loudly. I was the one to pull back this time. "Steve I've told you since day one that I wanted to be set in my job before I committed to anyone. Even if I get the job I want, it's going to be at least a year before I can relax and ease up a bit. I need to concentrate on what's important to me right now, and that is making use of what I've been trained to do for the last four and a half years." My hard-on was gone and so was my good mood. I pushed the ring deeper into my pocket. I lost my appetite and for the first time in a long time I wasn't enthralled with Beth. "What happens in a year and you're not exactly where you want to be?" "Well, I'll just have to see at that point," was her reply. "Beth, it's getting late and I've got a lot of work I need to have done before Monday morning. If you don't mind, I think I'll call it a night," I told her getting up. "Steve, please don't be mad." "Beth, I'm not mad," I told her knowing it was a lie. "I'll call you later, okay?" I said putting on my jacket to leave. "I do care for you, you do know that, don't you?" I looked into her eyes when she said that, but for the first time they didn't look back at me, not like they had since that night at the bar when I proposed to her the first time. "I've got to go." She walked me to the front door, kissed me, and told me again not to be mad. I wasn't mad, but I was something and it wasn't good. The half hour drive back to my apartment took almost two hours being as I drove in circles. Did I love her? Hell, yes. That wasn't the question. But for the first time I finally realized that even though I had been putting her first in my life I was way down the list on hers, and I was no longer okay with it. She was right, she'd said from day one she wanted to be settled in her career before she got married. I was thinking perhaps I never really heard what she was telling me. I just figured when she got out of school we'd connect, get married, and live happily ever after. Seems like I wasn't as good a listener as I thought. After that night I stopped carrying around the ring. I can't say my love died but it was like a gas oven, the flame had gone from broil to just warm. Beth took a job with a large marketing firm, Anderson and Phillips. She started all over again relearning what she'd been taught, but their way now. There were seminars, trade shows, and many trips to customers' locations. I was still the one chasing then one Thursday night I just stopped. I watched my cell phone ring. I knew by heart the number that was calling. I just watched it ring until it stopped. That scenario went on ten more times that weekend and continued into the following week. I was constantly arguing with myself about what I wanted and how much was I willing to give up for it. It was late, probably close to six thirty before I walked out of my office and headed out to the parking lot. I'd been burning the midnight oil trying to impress my boss enough to give me a bump in pay. I'd seen a cute two-bedroom house I wanted to buy, but I didn't want to have to skimp to make the house payments. In other words I didn't want to be house poor. I saw her car parked next to mine in the parking lot and knew she had to be around here somewhere. "You're avoiding me," Beth said with her hands folded in front of her. "Not avoiding, just not chasing you anymore." "Chasing me?" she said in a tone of voice that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. "You know, calling, e-mailing, texting, begging you to go out with me, following you around like a lost puppy." "Steve, I never asked you to do that." "I know, and that's the problem. Beth, what do you want? Why are you here?" "Steve, I want it to go back to the way it was between us. I really care for you." "Say, Steve I really love you, and I want to be your wife," I told her. "Why are you being so difficult?" was her quick reply. I opened my car, threw my briefcase on the back seat, and slipped in behind the steering wheel. "You see that's the problem. That little puppy that's been following you around all this time has grown up and isn't satisfied with the baby talk any longer." I started my car. "When you're ready to talk to me like an adult give me a call." I drove off. Maybe I finally did grow-up. "You're killing me, Steve," Greg said when I told, not asked, him for a raise. "Business is tight you know that." "Greg, you have a choice, give me what you know I deserve or I walk." "Shit, just because you're pissed at your girl doesn't mean you have to be a horse's ass." "I'll give you until Friday, and then I'm out of here," I told him and for once I wasn't bluffing. He was getting off cheap and we both knew it. I wanted to stick around because he was a hell of a teacher, but I wanted a fair wage also. I knew his competitor would give me more than I demanding from Greg, but I was above just walking out without giving him a chance to give me what I wanted. I guess my skin was starting to get a little thicker. It had been forever since I'd been out with Brian and Angie. I'd neglected my friends, basically centering my life around Beth. "Thought you died," Brian said, touching our beer bottles as Angie elbowed him in the ribs. "You know where in the hell he's been, and your fingers aren't broken either," she shot back at him. Angie let him think he controlled the roost but everyone knew the truth. "Sorry about you and Beth, maybe she'll come around," Angie said in a motherly tone of voice. "Not much chance of that happening. She's going to be a career girl first and whatever's left isn't enough for me anymore. I'll buy this round," I said motioning for our waitress. "We're not going to have to carry you out again, are we? It looks like you've gained a few pounds, and Brian's mother is visiting so I'm not sure where we'd dump you this time." Angie laughed. "Hell's bells woman. Since my dad died Mom hasn't had so much as a date. She'd probably loved to be shagged by a good looking guy like Steve." "Make that two rounds," I said, trying to get that image out of my head. No, I didn't get blasted, but I did give the waitress a good tip and in return she gave me her phone number. She was nice looking and I felt a twinge in my loins that hadn't been properly addressed in one hell of a long time. A week later I called her. Her name was Peggy and she was a knockout in anyone's book with long blonde hair, a beautiful face, and a hot body. One thing though was lacking, she didn't have a lot upstairs, if you know what I mean. We had a nice dinner, went to a movie, and I took her back to her apartment. We made out in front of her apartment door and although I was invited in, and probably could have had my way with her, I passed on it. If I wanted mindless sex, I always had my right hand. Two days later I got an e-mail from Beth. "Are we or are we not exclusive?" "Define exclusive?" I replied back. "You know damn well what it means. Only going out with one another." I could feel the anger behind that e-mail. It looks like some little birdie had told her about Peggy. "You've got your job to keep you warm, I figured that would be enough for you." It was a cheap shot, and I knew it even before I pushed down the enter key. I had grown tired of being number two or was it number three or four. She didn't reply. I got my raise and a year later got another one without even begging for it. I bought the house and spent most of my spare time and extra money fixing it up. When Greg asked what I thought about a particular advertisement he had done I told him I thought it sucked. He looked at it and asked me why I thought so. I don't know if he agreed with me or not but I didn't hear about it for almost another month when he brought in another one. "Well?" he asked, waiting for my reply. "Well, it's better but it looks like a cheap ad for a subpar builder. Greg, you're the number two builder in the state, shouldn't the ad reflect that?" "You know, Steve, you're right. Thanks for your input." A month later Greg came into my office followed by his wife, Jill, who took care of the company books. "We want you to work with the ad people. They're giving us a hard time about their work and they keep asking us what we want. You know what we want, so we're just eliminating the middle man and going to the source." "I'm not in advertising, I build houses." "But Steve, you've got a good eye for details, layouts, and know what we're looking for. Just consider it another part of your job." "Does this come with a raise?" I ribbed him. "Let's just say you'll get to keep your job. How about that?" "Like I said, I'd be more than happy to help out." I should have kept my mouth shut. "Wear something a little better than jeans on Tuesday," Greg told me. "We're meeting with that damn ad company and I don't want them to think we are a bunch of blue collar hicks." "Greg what do you care what they think? You hired them not the other way around." But I wore a pair of Dockers anyway. The two salesmen were slick and came across pretty arrogant, especially when they thought they knew more about our business than we did. "Guys, the ad sucks, I don't know how many times we have to say it. Greg, maybe you're working with the wrong agency?" That got their attention. No one in this day and age wanted to lose an account. "Wait a minute, let's not get hasty here. If you don't like the layout it can be changed, no problem. Why don't we get our designer together with you and iron out the details. We can give you anything you want." They were sweating it now. "Okay, you can have your designer get with Steve here, but this is your last shot at it," Greg told the two of them. "Don't worry you won't be disappointed, I can guarantee it." "I wouldn't want to be that designer when the two of them get back to the office," I told Greg chuckling. I only wish the rest of the day had gone this easy. Two houses failed final inspections and one needed the dining room ceiling redone. My afternoon and evening blended into one. Wednesday Greg got a call from the agency and made an appointment for late Thursday afternoon. "Do you want me and my wife there?" Greg asked. "That won't be necessary unless you really want to be. Look, after they finish the next layout you can either approve it or find another agency. You can't do anything until they have something to show you." Looking back I wish that I had told them to handle it themselves, but I needed my job too much. Wednesday was crazy with both homes needing to be re-inspected late in the day. It cost Greg extra money to redo a bunch of things—therefore he wasn't in a very good mood. "The next crew that fucks up another inspection is going to get their damn walking papers. I'm not running a fucking charity here." Like I said, Greg was a little peeved. Thursday he came in all smiles. He had either gotten a good night sleep or gotten laid. Whichever it was I didn't care only that he was in a better mood. Thursday was busy but with all the problems of yesterday taken care of we could ease up a bit. "Remember you've got a meeting here at four o'clock with that designer." I hadn't forgotten, and I sure as hell didn't dress up for them either this time around. "Put the screws to them Steve, maybe they'll give me a discount after fucking it up so many times." I was deep into an estimating job when I heard Jill's voice at my office door. "Steve, the designer is here to see you." "Jill, tell him to cool his heels in the lobby for a few minutes until I finish up this last item," I replied without even bothering to look up. "That's going to be a little difficult." I looked up and there standing with Jill was Beth. "And she isn't a he either," Jill said with a smile. "Hello, Steve," Beth said in a professional voice. Crap. "Jill, maybe you should handle this?" "Oh no. After you going on and on about how the ad should look and getting my husband all worked up, you're going to finish this project," Jill told me in no uncertain terms. "So get with her, fix the damn ad so we can be done with it once in for all." I was screwed and tattooed. "Steve, if you'd rather work with someone else, I'm sure the office would send over another designer." "Beth, I don't have a problem with it if you don't. " I told her starting to clear off my side table so we'd have a place to work. "So why don't you lay out what you've got and we can go from that point?" We spent the next two hours arguing about what looked good and what would work. Finally, we'd agreed on what I thought everyone would be happy with. "Well, that was fun," I said sarcastically. "How long will it take to redo the ad and have something for Greg and Jill to approve?" "Probably by the middle of next week," Beth replied packing up her drawings and laptop computer. "I'm glad to see you're doing so well and that your boss trusts you so much." "I've paid my dues but I'm still learning as I go along. How are you doing at your job? Is it everything you thought it would be?" I asked knowing I had an underlying question I wouldn't be asking. "It's going all right. A little more work than I thought, but it's nothing I can't handle." "I'll bet," I said under my breath but too loudly because Beth heard it. "What's that suppose to mean?" She asked in that tone I hadn't missed. "You know what I mean. Was it worth what you gave up?" "I didn't give up on us, you did when you started dating that blonde bimbo? Was she good in bed?" "No idea, I never got the chance to find out. How about you? Your job keeping you warm at night?" We were now taking pot shots at each other. "Steve, all I wanted was a little time to adjust to my new job," she spat back at me. "That was just the latest excuse. What did you have in mind for a year down the road? You were working on a promotion and had to do extensive traveling? There was always another excuse why you wouldn't commit. I just got tired of waiting and always being number two." "You were never number two," she said defiantly. "Bullshit! You told me day one NO ONE was going to interfere with your future plans, not even me. You want to know something crazy, I had this nutty idea in my head that you actually loved me. Hell, I even went out and bought a goddamn ring no less. I was going to propose to you the night of your graduation but decided to wait for just the right moment. How stupid was that? I should have asked you that night and had you turn me down so I could have gone on with my life a lot earlier." "I don't believe you. If you would have bought a ring you would have asked me, I know you." "Come with me!" I shouted, taking her by arm. I led her out to the parking lot and to my car. Opening it up I reached in and pulled the piece of nylon fishing line off the rear view mirror; attached to it was the ring. "What the hell does this look like? I don't lie like some people I know." I placed the ring in her hands. I don't know what I expected from my little grandstanding display. I had looked at that ring a million times and although my mother kept telling me to take it down, it was a reminder of happier times. "Why don't you keep it, I have no use for it any longer and besides I'm starting to get tired of looking at it." Beth couldn't take her eyes off the ring and then me. "I didn't know." "You weren't suppose to, that was the idea." "Is that why you started dating Peggy?" Beth asked moving closer. "One date, one fucking date is my history with her. Don't get me wrong, she was hot and all, but she didn't have the full package I'd had up to that point and time. "But you and I were suppose to be exclusive." "Beth, I was. You weren't. You were in love with this dream about how your life was supposed to turn out. A wonderful career first and then a loving husband, and I don't have a clue after that. Like I said, I got tired of being number two in your life." I'd finally said what should have been said a long time ago. Did I still care for her? Yes, but I was getting over her, though not fast enough, especially after seeing her today. "So, why don't you get your stuff and go back to your ever loving job and give my boss what he wants. It would really be a sorry state of affairs if you couldn't do it after all the time you spent working on your career." I left her standing there and started walking back to my office. Just Beth A subdued Beth came back to get her stuff a couple of minutes later. She didn't say a word, just packed up her stuff and was gone. I left shortly after and drove around knowing I had finally closed that chapter of my life. "You rake her over the coals?" Greg asked the following morning. "You could say that. The ad should be done by the end of next week at the latest. I think you're going to like this one." "Good, I'm glad that's taken care of. You got those new figures done yet?" he asked. It was clear the party was over and it was back to the grind for me. I didn't hear a thing until mid-day Wednesday. "Steve, I've got the layout finished. When can we get together and have it approved?" "Bring it over late Thursday and I'll have Greg and Jill here. I only hope it's what we talked about." "Don't worry, I can guarantee they'll be quite satisfied." Beth came over shortly after four o'clock Thursday. We'd had a semi-normal day so Greg was in a halfway decent mood. Jill? Well, she was always in a good mood. The layout looked fucking great—Greg's words not mine. He and Jill were more than pleased. I could tell by the huge grins on their faces. "See, I told you Steve knew what he wanted," Greg said looking at Beth. "I guess I should have listened sooner," she replied quietly, packing up her stuff as Greg and Jill said their goodbyes and left us alone. "You did a great job, it looks even better than I thought it would," I said complimenting Beth on her work. Then I saw it. I don't know if she knew I saw it but the look she gave me said it all. I started to say something but stopped when I couldn't get all the words out. "You gave it to me, remember? Even though it wasn't given in the spirit of which it was purchased, it still means the world to me," she said looking at the ring on her left hand. "The girls at work all wanted to know if I was engaged and all I could tell them was I should have been, but no—I wasn't." What the hell was I going to say now, I want the ring back? "I'm sorry Beth, I wasn't implying anything I just wondered why, especially after all this time. Hell you're probably with someone else by now, so I just can't understand why you'd want to wear it." I was babbling and making absolutely no sense whatsoever. "Steve, I'm not seeing anyone. Other than business lunches and dinners I haven't even gone out on so much as one date since we broke up." What the hell was I doing? This wasn't a conversation that I intended on having with her now or ever but somehow we were knee deep into it. "Look, I'm sorry I brought this all up. Keep the ring and maybe you can use the stone to give yourself half a set of diamond earrings." "No, I think I'll leave it just the way it is." With that she packed up the rest of her stuff and was out the door before I could say much more than a goodbye. "It's probably better this way anyway," I said to myself not even coming close to believing it. It was ten minutes to twelve when Beth walked into my office on Friday. She put down the bag she was carrying, not even bothering to look at me. No one had even thought to tell me that she was here. I was about to ask her something about the layout when she started moving papers around on my side table, apparently making room for whatever she had. She took out two Big Macs, a large and a small fry, napkins, and two soft drinks. All right, I was shocked. "Sorry, it's not elegant, but it was kind of a last minute thing." I started to say something but shut up when smiling she told me, "You've got to eat anyway, don't you?" Touché I thought to myself. I don't think either one of us took our eyes off one another through the entire lunch. We spent the entire weekend together. Did we make mad passionate love to one another all weekend? Not by a long shot. We did, however, drink two bottles of wine at my place, and talked all night Friday and most of Saturday. By Sunday morning we were kissing and by the following weekend we were a couple again but this time it was a lot different. Quality time, that's what we concentrated on. We both agreed not to set up anything for Saturday or Sunday without first getting with the other in advance. We knew things were bound to come up with both our jobs but it was an unspoken courtesy to one another. We were trying to put each other first while going forward. We had three months of bliss. Did we argue? Yes, but instead of digging in our heels like we would have before, we sat down talked and listened to one another. It was at that point I realized we were a real loving and caring couple not just two people going out with one another. Saturday was nothing special. She drove over about five o'clock and let herself in because I was checking on a house in the neighborhood. The owners were inquiring about an addition and I wanted to scope out how difficult it would be. By six o'clock I was walking through the front door and being greeted with a loving kiss from Beth. She told me to hit the showers because there was a certain air about me. That was her nice way of telling me I stunk. I stripped down, started the shower, and with a toothbrush in my mouth I stepped in. I didn't hear the curtain being pulled back as the hot water from the showerhead pelted my face and neck. I must have jumped a foot when I felt a pair of arms encircle my waist and a pair of lips kiss my back. I turned around to a smiling Beth who covered my lips and started probing my mouth with her tongue, toothpaste and all. This wasn't the first time we'd showered together, but this is the first time she had initiated it. Usually I was the one dragging her in with me. Still kissing we lathered up one another. Tickling her underarms almost killed us both when she slipped grabbing me in the process to keep from falling out of the tub. We did, however, tear down the shower curtain soaking my bathroom floor before finally turning off the water. Still wringing wet, I chased her out of the bathroom into my bedroom where she stopped and waited for me. Dripping water on the bedroom carpet we kissed. There seemed to be more passion in what we were doing tonight. Quickly we made our way over to my bed. Lips, tongues, fingers, I was making use of them all as I worked Beth's body the best I knew how, then something changed. She did a one eighty and started working on me with her lips. This wasn't anything she hadn't done before but when she asked if I had a condom I thought I'd heard her wrong. She went back to what she was doing. When she asked again, I reached over to my nightstand and pulled out an unopened box and handed her one. Sliding it on she lay back and pulled me to her. Heaven, that's the only word to describe what it was like to fully make love to Beth for the first time. With her being a shade under five foot eight and me just under six feet we were the perfect height to make love and kiss at the same time. Her warm silkiness held me tight, unfortunately I didn't last anywhere near as long as I'd hoped. Even while I was shrinking fast I made sure to keep it up until I heard her moan and hold me tight. If we'd been drunk I never would have done it, but with both of us being stone cold sober there was no stopping us. "Worth the wait?" she asked, finally opening her eyes. I kissed her. "What do you think? By the way, what would you have done if I didn't have any condoms?" "Steve, I checked your night table as soon as I got here tonight. If you didn't have any, I was going to sneak out and hit the drugstore myself. I was ready tonight." "Why tonight? Don't get me wrong, it was wonderful beyond words, but what's changed?" "I guess, when you're engaged, it's time to make sure everything fits and make sure we're truly compatible—you know, in all ways," she said, kissing me again. "Engaged?" I said out loud. "Is this or is this not an engagement ring? And didn't you buy it and give it to me?" "Yes, but." I replied. "No buts about it. You and I are engaged to be married, unless you don't love me or think we're not compatible," she said sitting up. "Well, speak up, are we or are we not engaged?" she demanded. "Beth, you know I love you and have for a very long time," I said, taking the box of condoms out of my nightstand drawer. "And by the time we finish this box will be empty. She was the one smiling this time. I think we each cried uncle at the same time Sunday afternoon. Both of our parents said it was about time we were finally getting married, her parents more so than mine. I think they were anxious to become empty nesters and there was talk about a media room they were going to install in a certain bedroom when it became empty. Two weeks later Beth moved in with me. My days of being a carefree bachelor were now almost over, not that anything really changed much. All our friends were happy for us and we kept the wedding simple, just immediate family and a few close friends. Brian was my best man and Beth's older married sister, Sarah, was her matron of honor. We wrote our own vows, she taking out the word 'obey' and me adding the words 'lover' and 'equal partner'. We were two steps beyond happy. I wanted to go on a cruise and Beth wanted to go to the mountains for our honeymoon, so we compromised. We stayed in a cabin on a lake in the Smoky Mountains. The lodge had a total of ten isolated cabins on twenty wooded acres and best of all, had a restaurant that brought the meals right to your cabin. I got my water, didn't have to cook, and Beth got her mountains. We were both happy. Hell, we didn't leave the cabin for the first three days as it was. Even though we thought we'd discussed everything under the sun, new things kept cropping up. We pooled our money with Beth being in charge of paying the bills. I would take care of the house and yard while she would keep up the inside of the house. The first one home would start dinner and even though we tried to plan weekly meals, most of the time one or the other of us would change the menu. These were all Mickey Mouse items; the bigger issues would come four years down the pike. Both of us had intense jobs. Stress and deadlines were the norm rather than the exception. A glass of wine, a neck, or foot rub would help in most but not all cases. Sometimes just being a sounding board and someone to vent to was all that was needed. We couldn't fix each other's problems but we could listen, keep our mouths shut, and leave our comments to ourselves. Afterwards a kiss and a hug was all that was necessary. We were in love, which said it all. "I think I want a baby," is how Beth started it at dinner one night. "I think it's time we take it to the next level and I sure as hell don't want to be changing diapers when I'm in my late thirties." I had thought about kids, but wasn't sure we were ready. Hell, would we ever be a hundred percent ready? So we started trying. Since Beth wasn't on the pill, we figured she would be pregnant the first month she ovulated. She was approaching thirty and became a little concerned when by the fourth month nothing happened. She was burning the candle at both ends trying to get everything in the world done before she got pregnant and had a baby. It was her doctor who told her to ease up. "Beth, relax. You're stressing yourself out. That could be why it's not happening. You're both young and fertile so there's no physical reason you can't conceive. Why don't you two take a couple of days off, relax, and wind down. You'd be surprised what stress can do to a person's body." We took his advice and put together a four-day weekend. Instead of just sitting home waiting for it to happen, we took a long weekend cruise. We didn't really care where we were going—we just needed to get away. Our cell phones were left in the car and we told everyone that unless the world was ending, not to contact us. God, it was a glorious weekend. "Now I wish we'd taken a cruise for our honeymoon," Beth said after the first day. I could get used to this even though they would probably need a wheelbarrow to get me off the ship after seven days of nonstop eating." She laughed but she was right. You could literally eat twenty-four hours a day aboard ship. Somewhere something was always being served and if not, there was always room service. So, we ate our way across the ship and made love morning, noon, and night. The last night aboard we went to the midnight buffet and walked the ship for an hour before returning to our cabin to pack our bags. "One more time for good luck," Beth said pulling her sundress over her head. She was totally naked beneath it and even though I'd eaten a lot, there was always room for dessert. Sucking face and almost too much oral, we finished with me sitting on a plastic chair with her on top facing and kissing me. This position was a first for the both of us and Beth joked that maybe this would be our good luck position; we stayed that way until I finally fell out of her. Something that weekend must have worked because the first and then the second test kit both said the same thing, Beth was with child. I guess every woman's pregnancy is different but that golden glow of motherhood never arrived. There was morning sickness, cramps, cravings, and emotional swings just to mention a few problems, and those were just my symptoms, Beth's were a lot worse. We got the nursery ready and bided our time until the blessed day arrived, or I should say when the baby finally decided she wanted out of her temporary residence. Beth didn't gain a lot of weight but was uncomfortable, nonetheless. We switched cars after the seventh month because mine was larger and a lot roomier. By the end of the eighth month she just wanted it over with. She said she felt like a whale. To me she still looked good. Sex? There was none of that the last eight weeks before the baby was born. When I suggested a blowjob the look she gave me was enough, even if she'd said yes, there was no way I was putting my dick anywhere near those teeth. So we waited it out, but it was worth it. Linda Rebecca Moore was born at four forty-five in the morning after a night of intense labor. I was in the delivery room and held Beth's hand throughout it all. Of course, I still have her fingerprints on my left forearm and probably will for life but it was worth it. Linda was six pounds five ounces of beauty even after twelve hours of labor. She had a mess of dark hair, her mom's bright brown eyes, and a small pug nose. With a small slap she let out a cry that I'd never quite got used to over the next couple of months, but we were now a family. Even though our moms wanted to be the babysitters, after four months we got a nanny to care for Linda while we were at work. It was a whole different life for us now and after the initial problems we set up a plan and stuck to it. Life for the three of us was good. My duties increased and Beth cut out all her traveling over the next two years. Our first disagreement came when I thought it was time to get a bigger house. With two bedrooms and one bath we'd outgrown our humble abode. I was looking at something real nice and modern. Greg said that he would give us a great price on a new house, but Beth thought we should pick something a couple of years older and save the money. "We can always build later," she said, finally convincing me. After being in our newer house less than two months I came home one Friday night to find it almost empty. Beth said to shower and shave, she had plans for us for tonight. I wasn't too happy. I was tired and wanting nothing more than to grab a beer and play with my daughter before having a nice meal. I got out of the shower and with a towel wrapped around my waist, called out to Beth asking what she wanted to me to put on. "What you have on looks great to me," she said standing at our bedroom door. It was red, new, and there wasn't much of it. It was designed most likely to get a certain reaction and that's exactly what it was doing to me. I may have been dead tired ten seconds ago, but I sure as hell wasn't anymore. I ate her up with my eyes. Handing me a half of a glass of wine she gave me a very wet kiss. I drained my glass, and in the spirit of Errol Flynn I picked up my wife and carried her to bed. Making love doesn't even come close to what we did for the next hour and a half. There was a ton of kissing, some great oral, and even greater screwing. For a while I thought she'd memorized every position in the Kama Sutra book I had given to her as a joke years ago, however after trying three new ones we went back to the one that had always worked best for us. I didn't think even think about a condom, it had happened so fast. But twenty-four hours later after another fantastic love making session I asked the hard question. "I thought we were suppose to talk about the big issues and make our decisions together," I said resting my head on my hand looking at my naked wife. "I was kind of afraid to ask you. You've been a little stressed out lately and we did talk about another one, it's just that we never agreed when it should happen. "And this is your way of telling me that you want another baby?" "And Greg said you weren't quick on your feet. If he could see you now." She laughed and kissed me for the hundredth time. "This way there will only be a little over two and a half years separating the two of them. It'll be much easier and after this one we'll be done no matter what it is. Are you mad?" she inquired a little hesitantly. "As a wet hen," I said tickling her and then mashing my lips against hers. "One down, one to go. But in order to do it right, maybe we should finish up in our lucky position? It worked once, maybe it'll work again." Just like on the cruise we finished up in a chair, only this chair was a lot softer than the hard plastic one we had in our cabin on the ship. Either my little swimmers set a new world's record for speed and efficiency, or we were the luckiest couple on earth because we nailed it on the first try this time. Not that I couldn't have gone for another weekend like that one. Her pregnancy was a lot easier this time for some reason. Maybe she knew what to expect, but whatever the case, after nine months we welcomed Megan Marie into our family. Like Linda, Megan was beautiful and the best baby you could ever ask for. "You sure about this?" Beth asked, waiting with me at the clinic. "We could try again for a boy if you want." "No, I've got my two girls and I'm happy. A son would be nice but don't worry, I'll make both of them tomboys." An hour later I was snipped. My days of making babies were over. The next six years were great, at least in my book. Instead of taking an increase in pay, Greg gave me shares of stock in his company. Money wasn't tight with both of us having good jobs, but other little things seemed to be picking at one or the other of us. First of all, Beth was not moving up in her company the way she had hoped. For the first couple of years, when our kids were small, she turned down trips and passed up promotions that required extensive travel. She had done it for us, the family, but at the same time she wasn't too happy about it. Then, I started breaking the weekend rule that nothing was to be planned without the others okay. I didn't do it much at first, but when I started to do it more and more often it became an irritant between us. I guess after the tenth or twelfth time, Beth started doing it herself. Sometime after that, we were both doing different things on Saturdays and Sundays. I didn't see it as problem at first, but eventually it became just another issue between us. "Steve, I've been offered a promotion and I am probably going to take it." Our discussion started while we were cleaning up after supper one night. "I think if I turn it down this time, they're never going to offer it or anything else to me again. It's going to require some traveling but it should be minimal." Just Beth "No problem, the girls aren't babies anymore and one way or another we'll all survive." I said, talking out my ass not having a clue how it would affect our daily lives but hell, she deserved it, didn't she? At first there was more than a little traveling involved because she had to meet with a whole new group of customers. Instead of them being only local, the new ones were multinational and sometimes had marketing offices in more than one location. After the first three months we were all whipped. At times Beth would leave on Monday morning and we wouldn't see her until Friday night. We would all talk on the phone but it wasn't the same. In the months that followed the travel became less, but she was always gone at least one night a week. She was stressed, yet had that look of satisfaction on her face. "I nailed it," she said, beaming and laying a big kiss on me as she ran through the door jumping into my arms. "They loved my layout and asked if I could come up with one for the new line that's coming out after the first of the year," she said, kissing me again. "Isn't that wonderful?" "I knew you could do it. Why don't you sit down, have a glass of wine and tell me all about it while I finish making dinner." And that's what she did in the greatest of detail. I was interested, but it didn't mean as much to me as it did her. I can't say it went in one ear and out the other, but I didn't press her for details. I had my own problems every day, and I was trying not to burden Beth with them. So after time it seemed that we no longer talked shop when we came home and only dealt with the issues that directly affected our little family unit, which turned out to be a big mistake. Plaque, that's what they become. Little pieces clogging up the pathway between us. A missed dinner here, a weekend of conflict, lovemaking put on the back burner, and problems dealing with our two daughters, they all started to add up. When Beth missed our summer vacation due to a work related emergency and when I forgot our anniversary unkind words were spoken by both of us. When we argued about whose job was more important the gap started growing larger. The good morning kiss was the first thing I noticed disappearing from our normal morning routine. When I did make an effort to track her down and give her a kiss before I left the house, it felt like more of an imposition instead of something to look forward to. Like I said, resentments and disappointments accumulated like plaque in an artery imperceptibly choking out intimacy, the lifeblood of our marriage. The little snips and pot shots became almost a daily thing and no matter what we did, it wasn't getting any better. "Hon, we need to talk," I said, sitting in bed waiting for her. She was going out of town tomorrow and something she told me to do didn't get done causing a little tiff earlier in the evening. "I thought we did that earlier tonight," she said a little too sarcastically for my taste. "Drop the attitude, I said I was sorry," I replied in an apologetic tone. "Beth, we seem to be arguing all the time now and over the stupidest things." "Steve, you're the one who usually starts it, not me," she said in a defiant tone. "See what I mean? We don't talk anymore." I pointed out to her. "We go from issue to issue until one of us takes offense and then we start to argue about it. It makes no sense." Beth had her own point to make. "I used to try and tell you how my day went but you weren't interested. You also stopped talking to me about your day. It was as if we had nothing to talk about but stuff that went on here and that seemed to always lead to an argument or fight between us." "Why don't we make a pact that we take ten minutes a day and talk about our day to each other. This way we stay attuned to how the other is feeling and why," I suggested. "Whatever," Beth replied with a sigh. "See what I mean? I make a suggestion and you shoot it down before giving it a chance." "All right, we'll try it when I get back from Chicago, anything else?" "How about some alone time for just the two of us?" I threw out. "Steve, if you haven't notice, we have two little girls roaming the house at all hours of the day and night. As soon as we shut and lock the door they want to know what we're doing in here. You want to explain that one to them?" "How about if we get away, just the two of us. My mom can watch the girls and you and I can sneak away, eliminate the distractions, and reconnect. You know, like we did before we had kids." "That might work. We can leave our cell phones, computers, and the like in the car. Set it up and let's just do it." She was now smiling for the first time in a long time. We didn't have a quickie that night but took our time and made love for a change. We had gotten out of practice, but like riding a bicycle it all came back. I made sure I showed her how much she truly meant to me. They say women need to feel cozy and loving to have sex, but guys use sex to access those feeling to give them back to their partner. Right now I was feeling cozy, warm, and in love with my wife. When I called the next morning and set it up for the following weekend, I probably should have first checked with Beth about the date, but she did tell me to go ahead and set it up. I was still feeling that afterglow of what had been a great night of lovemaking and just went ahead and booked a room at a romantic bed and breakfast. "Steve, I can't go this coming weekend. Carl and I are planning on working late Friday and if necessary Saturday morning to get a project completed. Look, we might be done Friday but I can't be sure. I wish you had asked me before you went ahead and made all these plans." She was right but it didn't set too well with me. Carl, Carl, Carl, I was getting sick to death of hearing her boss's name by now. I pouted like a stupid little kid, which started another argument about how important her job was to her and how people were counting on her even if I didn't think so. You know, men can really be stupid sometimes. When we stopped arguing I took it as a good sign. Hell, our relationship must be improving because even though we weren't talking any more or any less, we were no longer arguing. I didn't find out until much later that was a bad thing. Beth, it seems, had kind of given up in one way, believing what was the point. She wasn't getting anywhere arguing with me so she just stopped. Slowly over time the gap between us had gotten bigger and wider to the point where one night I tried to remember how long it had been since we'd made love and couldn't remember. That was like getting hit in the face with a shovel. When I asked her if she wanted to fool around that night, the look I got wasn't priceless. It was like I had just asked her for one of her kidneys. "I'm really not in the mood tonight. How about I give you a rain check?" I wasn't to be deterred. "Well then, how about one of my famous back rubs? You used to always ask me for one of those." I said with a big smile. "Steve, I'm tired and just want to get some sleep, if you don't mind." But I did mind. "I'll bet your shoulders are all tensed up. Why don't you sit in front of me and I'll give you a neck rub to get rid of your stress?" "Steve, I already told you, I don't want a damn back rub. What, are you horny and want to get your rocks off? Why don't you go in the bathroom and do it by hand? For Christ's sakes, please leave me alone!" she shouted at me. "Fuck, where in the hell did that come from?" I thought to myself as I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I wasn't going to hang around for another outburst. I looked at her, grabbed my pillow and headed out. "Steve, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," she said, but it was too late. I was already across the hall, shutting and even locking the damn door of the guest bedroom. "Steve, let me in. I'm sorry, please let me in." That didn't happen. You can say a lot of things to a guy, but when you reject his advances and basically tell him to go fuck himself—well, you're hitting way below the belt. I didn't get much sleep that night. Thursday morning was chilly for it being a mid July day both outside and inside the house. Beth said she was sorry for saying what she had, but added I should have left her alone after she told me for the second time to back off. "Don't worry Beth, I'll leave you alone if that's what you want." "What do you mean, if that is what I want?" was her immediate reply. "Take it anyway you want." "What are you going to do, pout?" She asked in a condescending tone of voice. I quickly retort back with a "fuck you" and was out of there. My crews paid the price for Beth's comments. Even though they only screwed up a few little things I jumped on them with both feet. The only problem was I ended up apologizing to them all even after they told me to go screw myself, or to get myself laid before I came to work tomorrow morning. I knew that wasn't going to happen. I got home early and had dinner on the table by five thirty. I waited until six and then my girls and I started eating. Beth came bounding in at six thirty-eight while we were clearing off the table and putting the dishes in the dishwasher. "You didn't wait supper on me?" "Why? I didn't have a clue how late you were going to be so we waited until the food started getting cold and then ate without you." "You know, we do have a microwave," she spit out at me. "You know, you do have a home and family," I shot right back at her. "There are leftovers in the refrigerator," I said walking out of the kitchen. "I'll fix my own damn supper." "Suit yourself." I knew she was going to be pissed, and I normally would have waited dinner on her, but tonight I was making a point. A stupid point but a point nevertheless. I was sitting on the bed, in the guest room, reviewing a bid on my laptop when I noticed Beth in the doorway. "Are you done sulking yet, or are you going to keep making me pay for not giving you sex last night?" "You really don't get it, do you? Can't you see what has happened to us or don't you even care anymore? When was the last time we spoke nicely to one another or even had a conversation without one or the other of us giving the other a cut or cheap shot ending up in an argument?" I asked looking at a confused Beth. "You started it with your juvenile reaction to me being tired last night." "Forget it, I give up." I said going back to my bid trying to ignore her. "So, are you going to sleep in here now?" she asked in a tone that said she was itching for a fight. "Weren't you the one that asked me to leave you the hell alone? Well, I'm doing exactly what you asked, nothing more nothing less." "Good, maybe now I'll get some sleep at night without someone slobbering all over me." I was hot now. "Well, you can't be talking about me, it must be your new boyfriend," I said getting up and shutting the door in her face. "Stephen Moore, you open this door immediately," she yelled beating on it with her fist. "How dare you accuse me of cheating? You open this door right now." She began kicking at it. I didn't open the door but she was persistent. Beth came back three times that night checking to see if I had unlocked the door. I hadn't. I was no fool or wasn't one any longer. I tried to sneak out the following morning but she was up waiting for me. "You really expect me to believe that you actually think I'm cheating on you? Where in the hell did you get that hair brained idea? Steve, sometimes I don't have a clue where your mind is at." "At least I know you don't care, so that's a big relief. Why don't you go out of town for a while and give us both a break. You can tell your good buddy Carl what a horse's ass I am and then he can tell you what a saint you are for putting up with me." Short, straight, and right to the jugular. "You really are an ass, you know that?" "Yes, and at least yours for not that much longer," I said walking out the door into the garage. She followed me out to my car. I got in locked the door, started my car, and left her standing there in her fuzzy pink robe. It wasn't two minutes later that Beth was ringing my cell phone. I didn't have anything more to say to her. ************* Steve was right. I was talking to Carl about my marriage. I should say we were both talking to each other about our marriages. Carl was married to a real shrew who didn't work and all she did was spend his money. Carl took every out of town trip available just so he wouldn't have to go home and be with 'HER', as he put it. He would tell me how lucky I was that I had this great husband and family. I don't know why Steve thought there was something going on with Carl because he was always the perfect gentleman. He would open my door, buy my lunch when we were out of town, and did his best to mentor me in dealing with demanding customers, which was how most of them were. When Steve and I started to have issues, Carl always had a suggestion on how to resolve the matter. He told me to negotiate from a point of strength, this way I wouldn't have to settle for anything less than what I wanted or deserved. And believe it or not, it usually worked just like he said it would. Steve got used to me traveling and working late. When he started playing golf on Saturdays I did my own thing. No one was going to dictate to me anymore. My success grew right along with Carl's. When he got a bonus, I got a bonus. When he picked up a new customer, together we both went out of town to meet them. We were a team. I knew there were problems at home, but didn't all marriages have rough patches? I was always busy and stressed out due to the crazy demands of my customers—nothing was ever good enough for them. I couldn't understand why Steve didn't understand and just back off until I wound down? I guess maybe because I never talked to him about it. Hell, we never talked about anything anymore. In the beginning we were a team especially after Linda was born. What happened? I know we each had our own work issues to deal with but now we were dealing with them alone. Perhaps we each didn't think the other would understand. At least that is what I thought. And I knew if Steve couldn't understand what I was dealing with at work, Carl could. He was there with me through it all and knew exactly what it took to get the job done. Hell, if I needed to work late he was there with me every step of the way offering up ideas that we could try. He had become more than just my boss, he was my good friend. When he and his wife separated we'd talk for hours. He told me it was the job of my husband to support me, not try to bring me down. Last week was bad to say the least. We had to redo an ad a customer had rejected and Carl was a wreck because his wife had served him with divorce papers. I was stressed to the max and Steve wanted to fool around and wasn't taking no for an answer. I lost my temper and snapped at him. It really wasn't him I was angry at, more so the whole situation I was in. I felt like I was being pulled in every direction. Work, Steve, the kids, I was at my wits end. Then Steve and I had a huge argument and for the first time in our marriage, when I wasn't traveling, he didn't spend the night with me. I was wrong and tried to tell him but the following morning he still wasn't in a good mood and we started in at it again. Everything was coming apart at the seams, and I felt like my brain was going to explode. When I eventually got to work, I was sitting at my desk and just lost it. "Carl, I need to take a day of vacation, a sick day, or a damn personal day today," I said with my eyes wet with tears. "Beth, you okay?" "No, I'm not," I started to say when the tears started rolling down my cheeks. Getting up, Carl pulled me into his office and shut the door putting me into the seat in front of his desk, looking for that box of Kleenex he had somewhere in his office. "Here," he said handing me two tissues. "I'm sorry Carl, I just lost it. Steve and I had a big argument last night and again this morning. I said some ugly things to him and I don't even know why." "He probably deserved it. Doesn't he understand you're basically running your household not to mention the work you're doing here? He just doesn't appreciate you the way the rest of us do," he said giving me a hug. "It would serve him right if you kicked his ass out." "Carl, I don't want him to leave, I just want it to go back to when we were happy." "Take it from me, when a marriage starts to go sour like yours, there's no going back. If he doesn't want to do it your way, fuck him. You have to look out for number one because no one else is going to." I looked at Carl hovering over me and realized one thing—I had to get out of there. "Carl, I'll be back tomorrow. Nothing on my desk is that hot that it can't wait for twenty-four hours. I'll see you in the morning." He was still talking about something as I rose and made my way to the door. "Remember, don't let him push you around, stand tough." With that statement I was out of there heading for home. **************** "If you piss off one more of my crews I'm going to have your ass, you hear me?" Jill demanded coming into my office holding her oversized coffee mug. "I'm serious, for the last two weeks you've been a bear around here and I don't need to contend with another Greg. With Greg, I can give him a little and he's happy as a lark. With you, well, I'm not giving you shit, but I might have to call Beth and have her ball your eyes out or something," she said with a smile, I wasn't smiling at all. "All right, I'll back off a little." "A lot," she snapped back. "Are you and the misses having problems?" "Nothing more than normal it seems lately." I said tossing down my ruler. "It just seems lately we can't get it together and we're always fighting about something or another." "Steve, you both work full time and deal with deadlines every week. I know it's hard, but the two of you need to leave work at work when you shut your office doors. Taking it home with you will do neither of you any good. Hell, when Greg gets out of sorts I just remind him that we're in this together and if he wants to go it alone to let me know. You may think he's a hard ass, but he's really not, at least not with me. We built this company up together, however we both know what's really important. So when it comes to us or this company, we pick us first." "Maybe I'll pick up a dozen roses and a fancy card on my way home tonight." "Then what are you going to do tomorrow? Candy, jewelry? How about the next day and the day after that? Steve, you can't buy your way back into her heart. Greg tried that years ago after a really ugly fight, and I told him he didn't have that much money. One rose and a little note will be a good start, but only a start. For the next twelve days bring her a single rose and a personal note. I don't care how big an argument you've had, that should break the ice. If not, you've got bigger problems than the two of you can handle on your own." She was right, what did I have to lose? The last hour of the day I struggled trying to come up with some cute little phrase but they all sounded trite, like some stupid cliché. Finally I just wrote one line and headed for home stopping off at the flower shop four blocks from the house. Her car was in the garage and dinner was all ready on the table when I walked through the door into the kitchen. When our eyes met I wasn't sure which Beth would be greeting me tonight. The kids were in the kitchen asking me who the flower was for, grabbing at it and the little card. "Girls, give your dad some breathing room and go wash up for dinner," Beth said still keeping her eyes on me. Just Beth It took just five steps to bridge the gap between us. I handed her the rose, gave her a gentle kiss on the lips and mouthed the word 'sorry.' With her arms around my neck the floodgates were opened and we just stood there in the middle of the kitchen holding one another. "Mommy, why are you crying?" Megan asked standing there looking up at the two of us. "I'm just so happy, that's all." "Grown-ups do that all the time," Linda said to her sister sitting down at the kitchen table. "Let me get rid of my briefcase and I'll be right down," I told Beth prying her head off my wet shoulder. Looking at the rose, she opened up the card. 'You mean the world to me' was all it said on the card. The tears started again. "Well, how are my girls tonight? Did the two of you get into any trouble today?" I asked coming back into the kitchen and dishing out the food. "Megan didn't make her bed this morning, but I did," said a beaming Linda while Megan stuck out her tongue at her sister the tattletale. "Well, maybe you should have helped her. After all, you are her big sister, aren't you?" "Yeah, you should have helped me," Megan piped in now looking smug. "I think you both need to help around here. You know your mother works very hard and needs all our help." "Mom, I can make cereal for breakfast," Linda said shoving a huge piece of pot roast into her mouth. "I think I can handle breakfast, but thanks just the same," she said still looking at me. We never exchanged a word between us at dinner. The kids filling the void talking about what we should be doing this weekend. We all watched Pirates of the Caribbean in the living room after dinner. When the movie ended, with the minimal amount of horseplay and tickling, I carried two bundles up the stairs to their room, one under each arm. I wasn't going to be able to do this much longer because the girls were getting older and heavier. I struggled up the stairs. With the girls in their pajamas, I gave them each a kiss and told them their mom would be up shortly to tuck them in. I guess a couple more tickles wouldn't hurt. I riled them back up while they hid under their covers to get away from me. "Two wild girls waiting for you upstairs," I told my wife when I passed her on the stairs heading towards the kitchen. I finished up in the kitchen and got my stuff ready for Thursday's meeting. Did I have any plan for later tonight, especially where I'd be sleeping? Not really but I wasn't going to start out in the guest room like I'd done last night. I may end up there, but I wasn't going to be driven from my own bedroom without a fight. Fight being the key word. Beth was still in the girls' room reading them a story when I went by and looked in on the way to our bedroom. I laid out my clothes for tomorrow and slipped into the shower to get the grunge and sweat off me. How had we let things get this far out of hand? I couldn't lay all the blame on Beth because in reality I was just as guilty as she was. It appears that when you don't talk you can't solve your problems. Well, I wasn't going to stay silent any longer. I may piss her off and have her yell at me but at least it would be a start. She was already in bed when I walked into our bedroom. "I'm not having an affair, you've got to believe that. I would never do that to you," Beth said waiting for my reaction. I looked at her, dropped my towel and put on the shorts I normally slept in. "I didn't really think you were, but I wouldn't have staked my life on it. Crazier things have happened to married couples." "Whom, may I ask, was I supposed to be having this alleged affair with, anyway?" "Well, the name Carl comes to mind, after that I wasn't sure." At this point I decided not to get in the bed with her just yet. "Carl? Carl, my boss? Steve, he's over ten years older than I am and married." "I thought you said he was getting a divorce?" "Yes, he is getting divorced, but he's still married right now. You thought I was cheating on you with a married man? You really must have a low opinion of me right now. How about the mailman or our parish priest? Why didn't you come right out as ask me?" She was now starting to raise her voice a little. "Think about it from my perspective. We stop arguing because we've stopped talking about anything important. You basically cut me off sexually and for the last two months, when you were out of town with Carl, you never even bothered to call me at night. You can't imagine what was going through my head." "Your fingers weren't broken and you could have called me to see if I was in my room at night or shacking up with CARL," she said over-emphasizing his name. "I thought about it a couple of times, but if I'd called and you weren't there I probably would have gone nuts and done something stupid. And then when I had found out I was wrong, I'd probably have fucked it up even more between us. So I just waited for you to say something," I explained to her. "Listen to us, you were waiting for me and I was waiting for you and we kept growing further apart by not addressing it. I don't love Carl, I love you. He's just a good friend, that's all. He was just someone to talk to when you and I weren't talking" "So instead of talking to me, you talked to your good buddy, Carl? What did you tell him? Everything? Did you tell him that we no longer have sex? Did you tell him I told you to back off when you got on your high horse? Did he tell you I was an ass and that you could do no wrong? When was all this taking place? Over intimate dinners and drinks?" My voice was crackling and getting louder with every question I peppered her. Was she discussing the most intimate details of our marriage with her new friend, and her boss, no less? "It wasn't like that, I didn't tell him everything," I looked at her when she said that. Her eyes were telling me she was lying. She had most likely told him at lot more than she should have. "Jesus Christ, Beth, how could you?" "Steve, please keep your voice down, the girls will hear you." "What great words of wisdom did he have for you? They must have been something really spectacular being that he didn't even have the where with all to save his own marriage. What did you tell him? That our marriage was in the toilet and you had your hand on the lever. I'll just bet he told you to flush, didn't he?" I didn't even have to wait for an answer, it was written all over her face. "What was next? He was going to console you and maybe the two of you could ride off into the sunset? I can't believe you were that naïve or were you just that unhappy in our marriage?" It was bad enough that she was opening up our life and marriage, but the fact it was to her damn boss made it even more demeaning to me. Predator was the first word that came to mind. "Look, I know we have problems that need to be worked out, but what kind of advice can a person in an unhappy marriage give you? We need to work on our own problems and not when we're both tired and stressed out," I told her. She looked at me. "I suggest we take the time this weekend, just the two of us to talk about our issues. You write down your issues and I'll write down mine. Maybe with clear heads we can come up with a few good ideas. But no more third parties." I was insistent upon that. "I'll tell my mom we'll be dropping the kids off for the day on Saturday, she won't mind. Steve, you have to remember I do love you." "All right with that out of the way we both need a good night sleep, I know I do and in my own damn bed." That, at least, brought a smile to Beth's face. We kissed, cuddled, and held one another until we fell asleep. "We can do this," I thought to myself driving to work on Friday. "I know we can." "Well?" Jill said standing in my doorway with a cup of coffee in her hand. "Well what? I gave her the rose but we still have a long ways to go." "Steve, I didn't say one rose was going to solve all your problems. All it was supposed to do was to ease the tension." "It did that, but we still got into it." "Well, when you bring another one tonight she'll see you're serious and after the tenth one, she'll see you're not giving up. It's a small gesture but a good visual one. Remember the card is essential." I thanked her again and was warned about easing up on the crews. On Friday, when Greg said something about Saturday, I informed him that there wasn't a chance in hell I'd be in the office tomorrow. "I've got something planned with Beth that can't be changed." He pissed and moaned, like always. I could hear him grumbling all the way down the hall until he closed his office door. My marriage was worth more to me than a few hours of overtime on a project that didn't need to be completed until Wednesday. Once again I got stuck on what to write on the card. "I love you' just wasn't going to cut it because it was so overused. I needed something that would get her thinking about us. I smiled when I came up with exactly the perfect phrase. '********************** "I hope you gave him hell last night," was Carl's opening line to me. He followed with, " I'll guarantee he doesn't know how good he's got it with you." "We're working on our problems, but right now I need to stay focused on my work and finish the Kemp Foods layout," I said hoping Carl would take the hint. "Well, let me know if you get stuck. I'll be in my office if you need to talk," he said walking away. "Thank God," I whispered to myself going back to the layout. When Carl offered to take me to lunch I told him I had brought my lunch and was going to be working at my desk. By four thirty my layout was almost done. I compared the last three ads I'd done and this one was the best of the four. I printed all four out and pasted them on my display board. I was making notes when Carl walked in. "What do you think?" I asked Carl watching him studying them all. "Color is a little muted and I probably would have gone with a different shade of blue, but it's good nonetheless. I think they'll be quite happy with it." Carl turned around and looked at me. "Got any plans for this weekend?" "We're going out as a family Sunday. Saturday, Steve and I are planning a little alone time." I kept what I told him short without any details. "Just remember what I told you," he said passing me a piece of paper. If it gets too tense you can call me on my cell phone and I'll come over and pick you up." "I don't think that will be necessary." "You never know. My wife and I got into some real dozies and she even tried to rearrange my face with a lamp and cutting board. The bitch is now doing everything she can to latch onto our savings. She is even going after my damn 401K. I should have dumped her years ago." "Well, Steve and I are no where near anything like that. We just have a few issues that we need to talk out and resolve this weekend," I replied putting all my stuff away and getting ready to leave. "Don't be too sure, that's what I thought six months ago and now look where I'm at," Carl said trying to stretch out their conversation. "Well, Steve still loves me and I know we can work out even the toughest problems." Carl gave me a look like he wanted to say something but stopped short after opening his mouth. "I got to go, have a wonderful weekend," he finally said almost running out of my office. "Carl is getting weirder and weirder every day," I thought to myself. "But I don't know if I could hold it together either if Steve and I were going through a divorce." I grabbed only my purse. This was the first time in a while I would not be taking any work home with me over the weekend. We needed this weekend to be without any distractions. I only hope that Steve hasn't made any plans. ********************** I left the blueprints on my desk and headed out. "Have a nice weekend, Jill," I said, passing by her office. "Remember what I told you, and for Christ sakes leave that temper of yours at the door. You hear me?" She sounded like she was scolding one of her kids. "I hear you but I've got to get my butt in gear and hit the flower shop before it closes." I waved and was out the door jogging to my car. I picked up my rose, bought two bottles of wine, and a six-pack of Corona. I didn't have a clue what we were having for supper tonight but I bought a French Silk pie for dessert. I was going to do my best to make everything perfect this weekend. The last ten minutes of my drive I went over my list of issues. There were only five and they weren't issues exactly, more like suggestions. I didn't want to appear confrontational but needed to somehow get my points across to Beth. "Daddy's home," my girls yelled at the top of their lungs. "And he brought us a flower again," Megan said trying to grab at it as I put all the items I'd bought on the counter. "Honey, this is for Mommy. Why don't you give it to her for me?" I handed the rose to my daughter. "Mommy this is for you," she said running over to her mother who was standing by the sink watching the commotion. "Did you buy this for me?" "Daddy did, I don't have any money." Beth gave her a kiss on the top of her head. Beth smelled the rose. It was sweet and would get even more aromatic when it totally opened up. She cut off the end of the stem and put it in the same vase with the one from yesterday. With that done she opened the small white card. 'If it's a boy I think we should name him David' was all it said. She smiled. It brought back memories from the first night we met. We had come a long way in one aspect but were at a crossroads and needed to resolve some issues if we were to go on. "We can do this," I heard her whisper to herself putting the card and envelope in her back pocket. "Hon, I'm going to change clothes. Give me ten minutes and we can have dinner A tuna noodle hot dish with potato chips crumbled on top was a fast and easy dinner. I wasn't a big fan of casseroles but it could be made the night before, and we'd get two dinners out of it not to mention that the kids loved it. I watched her and she me all the way through dinner. I had to threaten the kids twice that unless they cleaned their plates there would be no pie for dessert. They glanced longingly at the luscious chocolate pie staring at them from the counter all through dinner. Beth walked over to the counter where I was standing getting ready to cut the pie and whispered quietly to me, "Don't give them a big piece or you're going to be the one to have to calm them down from their sugar high." I heeded her warning cutting the girls a small piece of the pie each. "And don't mention that they're spending tomorrow with my parents or we'll never get them to bed tonight." She was right on that one. By nine o'clock, the dishes were done and the kids were in bed hopefully asleep. Beth and I were sitting in the kitchen winding down having a glass of wine. "How was your week?" I asked in a concerned voice starting out our night. "Hectic as always. Sometimes I wish we'd win the lottery and say the hell with everything and everybody else, but since that's not going to happen I guess I'll just have to learn to live with it." "Why don't you go back to working with the in house accounts? You didn't seem to be stressed out all the time back then." "Steve, that job is the low one on the totem pole, it's a damn entry level position. The only reason I did it before was because of the girls being young and not in school. This is what I went to school for, this is what I've trained my entire life to do. I can't just walk away from it because it's a little tough or stressful," Beth said getting agitated. I could tell her blood pressure was starting to rise. "I'm not saying quit, I'm only wondering what it's worth?" "Your job has stress and I'm not telling you to quit." Beth replied. "I'm not saying quit but there has to be something less stressful." "Yeah, if I want to be a damn secretary. You know yourself everyone wants everything yesterday and at half the cost. We'll just have to learn to deal with it without killing each other." "We'd better, because what we're doing now isn't working for either of us. Look, let's start by comparing notes, maybe that will give us some insight." I didn't know how right I would be. I brought out my list while Beth dug hers out of her purse. We exchanged lists. She had a list of ten items but only five dealt with her work. More help around the house, being more consistent in dealing with the girls, leaving her alone for a period of time so she could wind down, not bugging her for sex every night, and the two of us going out by ourselves once every other week. The ones about work mirrored mine almost identically. Stress in the job was the big one for both of us. She wanted to make sure I respected the fact that her job was as important as mine. Most of the issues were the same ones we'd been arguing about for the last couple of years. "Steve, I don't discusses our problems with everyone," came a sharp criticism about one of the items on my list. "Who else besides Carl do you discuss our problems with? Your sister and please, don't tell me your mother," I was almost pleading about this time. "No one!" was her immediate reply. "Why don't I believe you Beth? You have all ready told me that you have discussed our marital issues with Carl, a stranger. Are you saying you haven't said a word to anyone else? Were you and Carl comparing notes to see which one of you had the crummiest marriage? I have to say I am glad to see Carl won this competition." "It's true, but Carl isn't a stranger." "All right, Beth, what the fuck is Carl, pray tell?" "He's my boss and a good friend." I became immediately uncomfortable. "A friend with benefits?" "What benefits?" Beth answered. "You know damn well what I mean," I said in probably too loud a voice. "I am not sleeping with Carl, for Christ sakes. I never have and never plan to, so get that through your damn thick skull. Do you hear me?" she shot back, her eyes burning two holes through my skull. "Okay, where do we start?" She took out a pen and pencil and started making notes. A half hour cooling off period when we got home, ten minutes to discuss any problems we'd encountered during the day and NO MORE discussing our problems with anyone other than the two of us. "Going out every other week to reconnect won't work, it has to be more often than that, at least from the get go. I propose a date night every Wednesday. It will start after the girls are in bed and go until ten thirty. We can rotate who's in charge." "In charge?" "That's right. The one who's in charge gets to plan the night and the other one has to go along with it, no questions asked." "I don't know, how about if it's something really weird? How about if you want a threesome with another girl?" I gave her the look. "Well, how do I know what you could want to do with a free pass?" "We'll make an agreement that if the other person has a problem with any planned activity they don't have to go through with it. In other words, you won't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. Come on, what do you have to lose and maybe you'll enjoy it? Also, no working weekends unless it's an absolute emergency and I do mean emergency, not just an excuse to get caught up." There were a couple of small points about keeping tabs with the other when traveling and an hour and a half after we started we were done, at least for tonight. "Who get's the first date night?" she asked. "Since it was my idea, I'm going to give you the first shot at it on Wednesday. Maybe we can finally take the time to get close again," I said smiling for the first time that night. Things were nice but not as great as it had been in the past. After so many months of conflict, I think we were both a little apprehensive. Don't get me wrong, it felt good to have my wife in my arms not to mention in bed with me, but we had a long ways to go to repair the damage. I did make sure to give her a rose each day along with a catchy phrase. Just Between Friends Her relationship with her husband continued but deteriorated within another year or so. He began to work out of town leaving her very lonely and alone. Even when he was there she felt very alone. One night while he was working out of town. She went online and saw an old friend of theirs. They began to chat with one another, then their conversations became very intimate. She confided to him how attracted she was to him. He too wanted her, but could never tell her because he was a friend with them both of them. He remembered things about her. He remembered what she was wearing when they first met and could even tell her what she smelled like. She was in awe, and she could not believe it. She was so nervous when she first met him she felt attracted to him right away, but could not and wouldn't let into it. Since he confided in her, she too told him about how she felt from the first time they met and how she still felt toward him. They talked for hours and continued like this via email, real time and telephone. She wanted him so badly, but did not want her guilt from her husband to interfere with what may or may not happen with him. She was ready for clean break from her husband. Even if she may end up having her heart played with she would not do it to his. Which may have been the easiest thing to do? They often said to one another call me and we will have coffee. She convinced herself that it was innocent, having a cup of coffee between friends. He's my friend too, she thought. They had become very good friends and she did not want sex to ruin the friendship. Then again she remembered how her relationship was at first with her husband when it was really wonderful. It was when they were best friends, then becoming lovers. She shared this with him and told him that she indeed wanted him. She had finally separated with her husband, but the divorce wasn't final yet. So she was free to date him, but he was still living with a woman. This was his clearing to move in. She knew that their lovemaking would be a lot of fun and very sensual. She knew he would not make the first move, so she asked him if he wanted to meet for a cup of coffee. His reply was eager one. He too had been waiting for this for so long. They made their plans where to meet. Once accomplished, she felt like a little school girl again. With nervous feelings, stomach turning, sweaty palms. She knew that once they met, these feelings of anticipation would subside. Then they could really enjoy each others company. She made arrangements so that she had the entire day and evening cleared. He was as nervous as she was, finally his fantasy was going to be sitting with him. He had wanted her for so long and soon she would be right in front of him. This time he knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. What a combination both fantasized about one another and wanted each other so badly that they fantasized about it. She selected the black dress with the black duster over it with black heels. She knew how much he loved to see her in clothes such as these. She remembered how she used to tease his sitting in her chair with her legs spread just enough so you could think you see something. Today I might be doing more than teasing him. Again, her stomach began to turn with excitement. As she put on the finishing touches, she stepped into the high heels. There is no going back now, only forward from here on out, she thought. She arrived at the coffee shop. As she walked is, she hoped he had not arrived yet, she was the first one there. The coffee shop was a dim and very comfortable place. Perfect for their first meeting such as this. She found a love seat in the back of the shop that was empty. She thought, few people in here this time of day, perfect. She got comfortable and tried to shake off the nervous stomach. Just then she saw him walk through the door and look for her, he began to approach her, she stiffened up in the love seat with a huge smile on her face watching his face begin to smile also. She stood up as he got closer, then they embraced one another. He smelled wonderful and felt wonderful too. His hard body pressed against her. She wanted really to feel his hard body with her hands and explore him. They released each other and said their hellos. Both feeling the nervousness between them, they sat. He complimented her on how attractive she looked. She told him. I prepared myself just for you. He could not' take his eyes off her, they were roaming up and down. From the tip of her toes to her fine shining hair. She told him how wonderful he felt and asked you must be working out a lot now. He told her that yes indeed he had been. He asked her if she wanted to get a good feel and she told him of course, but it might be more appropriate to do that when were alone. She smiled. That was the beginning of the conversations. Seemed as though they had so much to say to one another. They floated from one thing in life about the other. She looked up at the clock on the wall and noticed they had been sitting talking for nearly three hours. He noticed her look up at the clock and noticed the time and asked her if she needed to be somewhere, she nodded. I made arrangements all day and night too. He told her he too had made the same arrangements. They smiled this time with no nervous feelings. He asked her if she were hungry and if she would like to get a bite to eat. She told him yes, she was very hungry and would love nothing else but to have a bite with him. He noticed she was being very sarcastic. They walked out of the coffee shop, he said why don't we take my car. He opened the door for her and she got inside. He got inside the car, he said is there anywhere in particular you would like to go. She told him, yes, there is a good hotel with a wonderful restaurant near here. He was delighted with her choice. He put on some music and they were stopped at a light. She leaned over toward him and kissed him. He did not see that coming, but he was ready for the second one. Again, she kissed him this time with her mouth open and wanting him to fill it. He kissed her back the second time, putting his hands on her head feeling her soft shining hair. Gently kissing her at first then building with passion. She pulled back and smiled. It was time for them to get to where they were going. Finally he pulled into the hotel. He asked her what she thought about getting a room. She told him I think that would be a great idea. I do not' think the restaurant would appreciate what I am going to do to you in there, she giggled. As he went inside the hotel to get a room, she sat in the car and reflected what has gone on so far in the day. Her nervousness was at a minimum now and she was so ready to show him how she felt. He walked back to the car with the key in his hand smiling. She smiled back and licked her lips awaiting to feel his kiss on them again. He got into the car and leaned over and kissed her again. He did not want to wait any longer, he knew he had what he wanted. They drove to the room and he opened her door and helped her out of the car. Then he opened the door and looked around and allowed her to walk in first. She walked in and put her things down and sat upon the bed with a twinkle in her eyes and a smile on her face. She patted the bed motioning for him to sit next to her. Instead he kneeled on the floor before her. He took her foot into his hand and slowly removed her shoe, smelling her fragrance, she was a little embarrassed. He took the shoe and put it to his nose and took in another deep breathe. Letting her know that he craved her scent. He moved to her other foot and removed her shoe. She wiggled her toes. He saw her do this he began to make a fist and take the arch of her foot and slowly move his knuckles all around her arch. She was not aware of anything, but him moving his strong hands so delicately on her feet. He first took the right one first moving his hands massaging and pinching. She leaned back arching her back in awe. It was the most wonderful feeling any man has made her feel. She had no idea that the foot could be so sensual. The first thought of it was disgusting to her, but as he went on with diligence tending to every line and ache in her foot. This was making her very relaxed. She was not even aware that she let her legs lose and laid upon the bed with her legs spread. She could feel the warmth beginning in her pussy. She only had on a thong and could feel that it was soaked through. She wanted him to make his way up her leg to that warm spot. He could sense her warmth when she spread her legs and relaxed them. He knew she was at his beckon call, just a little bit more then I can do anything I wish to her. He was totally right in his thoughts, they did not speak, they let their actions do all of their talking for them. Along with the looks that they gave each other. He took her big toe onto his lips and took his tongue and outlined it and then slowly moved his lips around taking it into his mouth. Letting the underside against his tongue, he began to use it to massage it. She could feel his every move and was delighted by everything he was doing to her. She wanted him to do this to her pussy and massage her clit. This was torturing her, he could feel her arousal at his movements and he became hard. As he worked on one foot, she felt her way with her other foot on his body. She ached for him in her to taste her juices that were filling inside her. He took his tongue and pressed it against the ball of her foot and began to bite with a rhythm. The more he did this the more she began to move her hips trying to guide him to her hot spot. He could tell that she had not been satisfied or played within a very long time. His best friend had neglected this beautiful woman for too long and now he was going to tend to her every need. He began to work his way up her thigh to her juicy box. He massaged her clit with his fingers first then finding it with his tongue using both on her. He took his fingers and began to finger her in her box and then took his other hand and began to explore her anal with his fingers taking her juice up and down her crevice. That way she was covered in her juices and his fingers would smooth easily inside every whole. He wanted to fuck her ass hole, it was so tight. He used his fingers while he worked her lather up with his tongue. He began to suck it all off, just then her hips were moving up and down as if he was fucking her. He began to scream out to him to fuck her harder, he put in more of his fingers moving them in and out harder. Fucking her ass hole with his other hand and feeling it all with his tongue. He was getting so hard knowing how much he was pleasing her. He wanted to torture her, but stopping before she came. He wanted them to have their first orgasm together. She was panting and moaning while he fingered her with his hands. Her pants were coming ever more frequently, it was too late. She pushed her ass up in the air, she was cumming. He could tell it had been a long time since her husband made her orgasm like this. He knew she needed much more than this. He was glad they had time together, he continued to work her while she shot out her cum onto his waiting lips and tongue. Even after she came he still worked his fingers in and out of her. She sat up and looked at him while he worked on her and told him she wanted to work on him. Since he was so hard he knew that he could cum more than once. He moved up and she moved down, he told her to lie on top of his face. She did what he told her to do. She was on top of him unbuttoning his pants and removing his hard long cock from his pants. She knew from going out with him with her hubby that he was well endowed. She just never had a man this large, inside her before. As she pulled it out the larger it got, she was amazed at how perfect it was and glorified it with her lips kissing every inch of it up and down the shaft. Then licking it with her lips making sure it was lubricated before she put her hands on it. It was a long and thick dick, she had only seen one like this in a x-rated movie. She wasn't afraid of it, she wanted to please him as he deserved. She took in the head and put her hands on the shaft and began to jack him off and she sucked on his head. It was like she was trying to milk the cow in her mouth. Pulling and jerking it as she was working him, she was getting ready to have another orgasm. He had found her g spot and was working so well. He was a wonderful lover, she was lucky to have him. He could feel her tighten up and knew she was having another orgasm. Her jerking became slower and she came again, this excited him so much as her body began to jerk and the noises that came from her. Tears came to her eyes but she collected herself and continued to suck his cock pushing him in further into her mouth, pulling and pushing trying to make him cum in her mouth. She wanted to suck every drop of his cum out. She tickled his balls with one hand while the other hand jerked him into her mouth. She loved to suck a man who loved to please her. It had been way to long since she was able to do this to a deserving man. He couldn't believe how wonderful she was as she stroked his cock into her mouth. He began to move his hips with her hands. She could taste the precum in her mouth and loved every drop. It only left her wanting all of it, her head moved faster and harder on his cock her hands moved quickly. He was ready to cum in her mouth as he felt the back of her throat he let it out. She could barely feel him cum in her, but she felt it hit the back of her throat. As she swallowed, he filled her with his love juice. It only left her wanting more, more of his juice. He continued to jerk into her mouth while she slowed her pace to a halt. Only using her tongue on his cock, she could still feel his jerks in waves. He motioned her to stop as he tried to put his entire fist into her cunt. He wanted to put his cock in there and fuck her till she couldn't walk. She moved off of him and moved toward his face with hers, they both had each others cum all over their mouths and kissed one another tasting their own juices. It was everything she thought it would be, and much more. She moved on top of him and slid her juicy pussy on top of his still hard cock. She slowly slid it inside her, it was a tight fit but she loved the hurt it caused her. She was moaning as she pressed it in further until she was able to sit directly on him. Once he was all the way inside her he began to buck her with his as, like she was riding a bronco. He grabbed a hold of her breasts and they moved when he bucked her. He loved how they were bouncing in his hands only cupping them and pinching the nipples. Finally, he held onto the nipples pinching them while he began bucking her faster and faster. She was riding him so well, she had riding lessons it was finally paying off. The more she moved it tickled her clit and made the swelling inside her begin again. He continued to fuck her by trying to buck her off of him. The harder he bucked her the harder she pressed into him. The moaning coming from her mouth was getting louder and louder. She was cumming again, this time it was a long orgasm that was so intense. The tears she couldn't hold back any longer. She began to cry screaming to him how wonderful he was. He didn't know what to do, he continued but this time he sat up holding her while he was fucking her. She laid her head on his shoulder crying to him while she orgasmed. Finally, the emotion overtook both of them and he came in her. They laid down still him holding her in his arms cradling her. He was still inside her while they gently fell into a sleepless pondering. As they lied there quietly, he began to stroke her hair and tickle her face. He kissed her face. She looked up at him and said what a wonderful friend you are. He moved on top of her and they fucked and fucked all through the night. Just Between Friends (This story takes place in the 1980's) * The sun was sinking behind the backside of the college cafeteria and the shadows were getting longer at the front of the building as I held the door open for Suzy and several other girls walking behind me as we exited. I received a "thank you" or two but little else from the girls who I did not really know except for Suzy who flashed her usual sparkling smile and winked. "Thanks Markey" "My pleasure Miss Suzy," I replied with a purposely exaggerated Southern drawl. She giggled. I fell in line behind her and we walked down the few steps and out of the shade of the building into the warm autumn sunshine away from the stream of students going in different directions. It was an almost perfect day that I had not really noticed until now. "That exam was much tougher than I expected. My brain is fried. Cooked. Baked. Drained of any knowledge. I am a zombie." I groaned. "Yeah I had a tough day too Zombie," she laughed. "Got time to walk me to my room?" "Sure," I said smiling. The stress of the day was easing and I really wanted to relax a bit before hitting the books again. Most of the girls dorms were in the general vicinity left of the cafeteria but Suzy had a room in a house located off-campus in a different direction so we started walking that way. Suzy and I had been friends for almost two years and had gone through freshman orientation together. We hung out with a lot of the same people, bumped into each other at parties, and sometimes ate together in the cafeteria sharing our problems and occasional triumphs. She was someone I felt comfortable around and her cheery disposition was infectious. I liked Suzy and I couldn't imagine anyone who wouldn't get won over by her smile. I even thought her now ex-boyfriend of a couple of weeks Todd was a cool guy although we were not close friends. Suzy was cute but I guess I had never been attracted to her in that way that causes elevated pulse rates, sends hormones into overdrive and creates a mild form of insanity. Possibly I wasn't myself on this beautiful cloudless day with the leaves beginning to change color and the temperature dropping which we discussed as we strolled along. Maybe I was a bit tired and stressed out and maybe she was in a bit of a hurry because I fell behind a few steps. As we walked up the steps in front of the administration building I couldn't help but notice her curves. Suzy played sports, soccer and girls' softball, and she had a solid build but was barely five foot two and couldn't weigh more than a hundred pounds. Normally, she dressed rather conservatively saving the sports attire for the practice field but on this day she wore some tight blue jean shorts that really accentuated her exceptionally nice round butt and firm thighs. Also, the typical stylish loose fitting blouse was replaced with a very thin, light green t-shirt that was very clingy showing the outline of her bra. If she hadn't been wearing her large gold hoop earrings that hung almost even with her short blond hair I would not have recognized her. I caught up to her at the top of the steps and as we walked and exchanged small talk about soccer I made some pretend criticism about her play during the last match and bumped shoulders with her rather solidly. She bounced off a couple of steps to the right and then came crashing back into me twice as hard sticking her elbow in my ribs at the same time. I feigned injury and went stumbling off to the left of the walkway into the grass. "Wow. I just knocked over a linebacker," she said laughing as she came over and bent down to me offering her hand. Suzy had always given me a difficult time over the fact that after being a very good football player in high school I never even bothered trying out in college. I looked up at her and observed that the tight green shirt did not hide the fact that for a small girl she had disproportionately large breasts. How had I missed that for two years? "Hah. Hah. I wasn't expecting it." I took her hand and thought about pulling her down in the grass but didn't and instead got to my feet looking at her smiling face the whole time. She was wearing a bit more makeup than usual with green eyeliner and I detected a subtle trace of very nice perfume. I purposely did not let go of her hand and we kept walking toward her room. "It is a beautiful day," she said without looking at me. "Yes it is," I replied. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes and we were nearly to the perimeter of the campus when suddenly she turned to me wide-eyed. "You've never seen where I live have you?" "Well, I heard you moved at the start of the semester, that's all," I replied. "I thought you had moved in with ... uh," l stammered letting my words trail away. She looked down as we continued walking and didn't say anything. At the end of the campus sidewalk we stopped and she pointed at a large older house about hundred feet down the street. "That's where I live in a room upstairs. There's one really smart guy from my calculus class who lives in the back and a girl who I don't know but see all the time in the cafeteria lives downstairs and we have one open room." She was rambling but I didn't mind. It was fun to see her excited. As we arrived in front of the house she said enthusiastically, "Cool. They finally fixed the porch swing. Come on Markey." I started to tell her that Markey might be a name for a dog but wondered why after two years it would bother me now. It was a small porch swing that would only accommodate two people and as we sat down I basically had to put my right arm around her shoulders which I did so without much thought. "I'm glad they finally got it fixed. The chain was broke," she said smiling up at me. The sun was still shining brightly but the trees across the street provided partial shade on the porch and the light breeze made our situation very comfortable. For a few moments we just talked about every trivial topic we could think of and moved the swing back and forth mindlessly. She pointed her shapely legs up in the air and showed me her new shoes and some of the bruises she absorbed playing soccer. I was telling her about getting my nose broken playing football and I noticed she had snuggled up against me looking at my face. But when I stopped talking and looked in her eyes just a few inches away and smelled her perfume and felt her breath it seemed like everything around us stopped as well. There was no conscious thought about it. I just kissed her lightly and we held it for a few seconds and then we both backed away only enough for me to see her smile just a little. I moved only slightly toward her and her lips almost instantly found mine again and this time the kiss became deep and fervent. Her arms and hands soon wrapped around my neck and head and while my right arm was trapped behind her my left hand was free to roam. Presently, I discovered her right breast and when I started cupping it and lightly caressing the nipple through her bra she gasped and caught her breath. I half expected her to slap me but she patted my chest and sat back breathing fast. "You haven't seen my room Markey!" She grabbed my hand and we left the swing jerking around crazily as she led me to the front door. I looked around and realized we were in full view of the street and other houses and figured it was a good idea. I barely had time to glance at the downstairs area as she pulled me up the stairs to her room. It might have been well kept and nicely furnished but I couldn't really tell. At the top of the stairs she turned to the right to her door and as she was unlocking it she smiled back at me and said, "This house is big but usually very quiet. Everyone just comes and goes." It was a fairly spacious room with two windows and a good view of the street, a closet, a dresser, a desk with a light and a couple of chairs and a large bed. It was a bit messy with some clothes lying around but not compared with my room which was a disaster area. The bed was neatly made with two large pillows and I suddenly felt a little unsure of myself and the situation. I started to ask about Todd but didn't. "Wow Suzy, this is a really huge room. It's nice." She smiled and said, "It sure beats a dorm. I can do almost anything anytime I want to. Sorry for the mess." "This is not messy," I said looking around. She had crawled to the middle of the bed and was taking her shoes off. "Make yourself at home Mark." I looked at her quizzically as she stretched out and turned on her side to face me. My brain suddenly slowed back down and I smiled as I sat on the edge of the bed. "Alright if I take my shoes off too?" "Sure," she giggled. I took my shoes off and crawled over to her and laid down facing her. "Where were we before we came in the house?" I said. She didn't say anything but kept smiling as I reached over and touched one of her earrings making it dangle slightly and then took a finger and moved her blond hair off her cheek. She closed her eyes as I caressed her face and I leaned over and kissed her tenderly like the first time in the swing. At that moment nothing else mattered. Todd didn't matter. Our friends who might be totally shocked didn't matter. As our kisses became deeper and she pulled me on top of her and as we rolled over moments later with her on top of me the world disappeared temporarily. We kissed each other on the mouth, the cheek and neck and throat. Her scent was intoxicating and the softness of her skin reminded me of some exotic food that I wanted to devour. Our hands were exploring each other in a progressively random and frantic fashion and our entwined bodies were grinding against the other with increasing force. Even with the windows open the last rays of sunlight were still warming the room and our activity was causing us to sweat. Presently, Suzy sat up still straddling me breathing quickly and began unbuttoning my shirt. "I think you need to take this shirt off. You're hot and besides, I really like your muscles and I've always wanted to see you without it," she whispered breathlessly. She pulled the shirt open and started running her fingers through the hair across my chest and around my nipples and down my abdomen. "Okay," I said. "But I think you should lose this as well," as I tugged up the sides of her t-shirt. She giggled and began wiggling the shirt up over her head revealing a deep plunging beige colored bra. "And at the risk of sounding like a total Neanderthal, I think these are exquisite," I said reaching up to lightly caress the underside of her breasts with the back of my hand as she still had her arms raised. She brushed her blonde hair out of her eyes and smiled down at me as she tossed the shirt across the room. She leaned slowly down to me with a look on her face that I might have seen on Kathleen Turner in Body Heat, kissed me lightly on the nose and whispered, "Unhook me." As she supported herself on the bed with her hands planted just above my shoulders I peeled the straps off each shoulder and slowly reached around to unhook her bra. I had a few seconds of difficulty. "Having problems?," she snickered. "Well, I have big hands and besides ... good things come to those who wait," I replied laughing softly. It popped loose and she moved both hands closer inward to either side of my forehead and shrugged and the bra fell down on my face. We both laughed as she pulled the bra aside looked in my eyes for a second or two leaned down and gave me the most overpowering kiss I had ever received. As I lay there stunned for a moment she eased herself forward so her melon shaped breasts were just above my face. Until my brain repaired itself I could only stare at the large light pink areola with firm perfect nipples but I slowly reached up and gently with my left hand directed one over to my mouth. At first, I lightly licked and sucked the nipple and surrounding area but as she began to sigh and moan I drew firmly on the end and grasped it between my teeth without completely biting. She cried out loud and I stopped. "No. Keep going. I like it. The other please. But be careful your beard is scratchy," she gasped. Realizing I hadn't shaved that morning I started on the other breast but more gently. Soon I felt her began moving her pelvis up and down and back and forth firmly against me slowly at first but gradually increasing in strength and rhythm . I had gotten an erection a long time before but very quickly I built up to exploding like a volcano. I could also tell her arms were getting tired of providing support. "Hey Suzy. I need to make an adjustment," I said. She stopped and slowly sat back with a puzzled expression. "Try not to be shocked but I've got to straighten something," I said as I reached into my pants for my crotch. "It's a lot like turning on the water for a rolled up garden hose." She fell over on the bed laughing so loud I'm sure they heard out in the street and throughout the house. "I've never heard that one before," she said breathlessly. "It's true," I said devilishly. "Come over here." She crawled over next to me still giggling. I took her hand and placed it on my still rock hard penis. "This is not comfortable when it's pointed in the wrong direction" I said. She burst out laughing again drawing both hands to her face. When she finally stopped she reached back over and began stroking me through my jeans with her left hand and reached up and grasped my chin with her right. "Well, I think we should both be comfortable," she said seductively. She got off the bed and went over to the dresser. Topless in tight blue jean shorts she looked as magnificent from behind as she did from the front. She turned and took off her earrings and placed them in some kind of jewelry dish and still watching me unfastened her jeans and with some effort worked them down to the floor and stepped out of them. She kept her small cream colored bikini panties on and I lay there mesmerized as she came back over and got back up on the bed crawled over to me without saying a word and unbuttoned my jeans As she slowly and tantalizingly unzipped my fly I hoarsely said, "Suzy, I don't have any protection. I didn't plan on this." "That's okay," she whispered. She didn't look at me as she concentrated on her work and I could see she was biting her lower lip. She tugged my jeans down as I raised up a little to help and then removed them over my feet. She let them fall over the edge of the bed to the floor and I saw her eyes widen as she saw my erection standing tall in my briefs. I started to say something about the wet spot on my underwear but she basically pounced on me and locked her mouth on mine. Our kisses were quick and intense and then she moved to my face and nipped my ear lobe before sucking my neck sharply kissing a trail down my chest. At this point my passion for her was so strong. I grabbed her under the arms and she laughed as I rolled us both over in the bed with me on top. The long deep wet kisses started again but I moved much slower than she had. I took my time kissing her face and cheeks running my hands through her hair going down her neck with my mouth then back down to those fantastic breasts. She was undulating under me almost constantly working her hips from side to side wrapping and unwrapping her legs around me and occasionally kicking the bed. At least two or three times I felt her reach between us and grasp my penis through my underwear. I kissed and sucked on both breasts for quite a while on and around the nipples before kissing and licking my way slowly and methodically down her soft belly pausing briefly at her navel. I worked my way further down and she eagerly opened her legs further. She was beginning to pant and moan softly but I was not in a hurry to end our enjoyment. I kissed and tongued the inside of one thigh up to her panties and then the other leaving a wet trail with my mouth. Her panties were soaked in the middle and I could somewhat see through to the folds of her vagina. "Please take them off. Please ... now," she implored. I sat back and grabbed the panties on either side and eased them over her curvy hips and down to her thighs in one motion. I pulled them over her knees and feet and tossed them on the floor without looking. She lay there on her back looking at me breathing fast in the dimming sunlight her blonde hair in total disarray and her face flushed with a streak or two of sweat running down. For a second I wasn't sure what I should do next but she smiled at me then shut her eyes and whispered, "Please don't stop now." She pulled her knees up and spread her legs and the last rays of the sun coming through the window gave me a perfect view of a glistening bright pink pussy in the midst of short curly blondish pubic hair. I enjoyed that sight for a few seconds then slid back down into position. She spread her legs even wider inviting me back and I obliged wasting little time getting my mouth and tongue into her. Her aroma was driving me absolutely crazy and when I started burrowing my face into her warm wet cave she lifted her hips and I felt her hands in my hair pushing on the back of my head. After a few moments with me delightfully probing her Suzy began moaning loudly. She was dripping wet and as my tongue repeatedly swirled around the objective I could feel her began to spasm. Suddenly she thrust her hips she and shrieked. "Put it in now! Please Mark. I need it. Please just for a minute!" I could barely manage conscious thought because my primal instincts were in control almost as much as hers with my cock throbbing like a power tool. I jerked my briefs down as she elevated her hips and legs to take me in. I couldn't believe the heat as I entered her or how tight but incredibly wet she was. She was writhing like a snake and pushing upward strongly with her hips. I fought desperately the urge to transform into a human jackhammer and let her do the moving as I tried to get into the best position. I found what I thought was the right angle to set off her fuse and buried myself as deep as possible then slowly withdrew almost all the way out. She caught her breath and jerked her head back with her mouth open but emitted no sound and at the same time I felt sharp pain on both sides of my rib cage where her hands were. I did it again slowly and she grabbed the extra pillow and shoved it between us over her face and I heard a muffled obscenity. I did the same thing again a little faster, then just a bit faster and again and again. Just as I felt close to the point of erupting her legs wrapped around me so tight I could barely move and she slapped the bed a couple of times and grabbed the cover and I heard her scream again into the pillow. I stopped pumping and she let go with her legs, tossed the pillow aside and pulled me into her arms panting so quickly I thought for a moment she was hyperventilating from a medical condition. I pulled out of her for safety sake and she moaned, "Why oh why didn't you have some protection, you big idiot, you big dumbass!" She kissed my neck two or three times and reached down between us to grab my still pulsing penis. I raised my hips a little to give her more room to work and she began stroking me aggressively still panting and I whispered in her ear, "Suzy, you better watch it; you're playing with a loaded gun." She laughed and replied between breaths, "Since I've been a bad girl guess you better just shoot me." She jerked me several times hard and fast and my body began to shudder and I involuntarily arched my back and spewed several shots of warm cum up between her breasts and down her belly. I groaned as I collapsed on top of her and we lay there on the bed for a few moments holding each other in the near-darkness with the autumn air cooling our bodies. I wanted to stay there but eventually she gently rolled me off and lay there facing me. Just Between Friends "That was absolutely fantastic Markey," she whispered as she started running her fingers through the hair on my chest and belly. "We probably made a lot of noise and people will complain but I don't care," she laughed. "It was great Suzy," I said softly and started to ask if we might do it again but suddenly words just failed to come out. The entire evening had been something I could not have predicted and definitely not with one of my friends. I just didn't know where I stood with her now or how to proceed. We lay there for a minute or two without saying anything then she sat up. "Well, I really need a hot shower. This is kind of gross and I need to study for a test," she said examining some of the deposits I had left on her chest. "Yeah, I need to get back," I replied. She helped me find my clothes in the dark and waited while I dressed. When I got everything on except my shirt she flipped on the light and I noticed she had squeezed back into the green t-shirt and had a towel wrapped around her waist. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said softly and walked over to give her one last passionate kiss but she gave me a quick one on the cheek and a little punch in the gut. "See ya," she said smiling broadly. "I need that shower real bad." As I tried unsuccessfully to tip-toe down the creaky steps I heard her lock the door and wondered where the shower was and when she was really going to take one. I heard another door close downstairs as I walked out the front door with my shirt unbuttoned shoes untied and my belt unfastened and I wondered if I should be trying to keep whatever just happened a secret or if on a small private college campus it was even possible. I took the long way back to my dorm room took my shirt back off and lay on my bed knowing that I should study or something but my brain simply would not focus. I dozed off lying on my stomach and when my roommate came in noisily around midnight I barely moved. He laughed out loud. "You either had really great sex or a battle with a wildcat. You have scratches all over your back man." "Didn't feel it much," I muttered as I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. Over the next few days I made many attempts to talk to Suzy but nothing seemed to work. Normally, I would have seen her in the cafeteria but there were many times when she just never showed or because of bad timing she would be leaving when I got there. A couple of times she was sitting with other people and even though she would see me and smile I couldn't get near her. She seemed to laugh and talk like usual and would leave with an entourage of girls and never look my way. I crossed paths with several of the girls that we both knew and a few were much friendlier than normal. One, a very shy girl Denise actually asked me out on date which left me babbling about finishing a project. There were some girls however that gave me a cold shoulder when I asked about Suzy and gave me looks that might have been more appropriate for a leper with the plague. A couple of mutual friends that I really wanted to talk to saw me standing in line in the cafeteria and left before I could get my food. I thought at first I was being paranoid but I knew they looked straight at me. A few times I went to the house where Suzy stayed even though it was out of my way but her room was always dark and no one ever came to the door. There was only one phone for the house but no one ever answered it. I even sat in the swing for a couple of hours one day and tried to study hoping she would show up but it never happened. My roommate tortured me mercilessly about my back and the hickeys on my neck and that didn't bother me too much because I knew he enjoyed being a comedian. But one night after we had been studying at our desks for a while he said that he had heard through the grapevine that "it was Suzy." Those three words hit me like a falling anvil and after a couple of silent minutes staring at his back while he pretended to study I asked who he heard it from and he said his girlfriend had overheard some other girls talking but of course he knew no details. I sat totally stunned and wondered how on earth news could travel so quickly but also whether or not I should even care if people gave consideration about two individuals changing their relationship. This seem to occupy my thoughts for a long time and I got very little sleep that night. Finally, one afternoon I was heading for one of my classes and I saw Suzy among a throng of other students walking toward me down the same walk where she had bumped me into the grass. As we got closer to each other she smiled and I forgot about the anxiety of the past few days. "Hey, I haven't seen you much. Have you been hiding?" I said still smiling. "Yes, I've been hiding in the library putting in long hours," she replied while assuming an overstated look of exhaustion. "Okay. Library." I said wondering why I never bothered to check there. "Well, you know ... I've been ... uh." She stood there wide-eyed looking up at me patiently waiting to hear something she could understand while students streamed around us going to their classes. "The other night ... well I don't do that kind of thing very often. It was ... not typical," I continued trying to pull out something intelligible from my brain. After a few more long seconds of awkwardness she moved a little closer her eyes narrowed and she said firmly and slowly, "Look. It happened. It was great. It was fun. You're the same. I'm the same. Somehow the whole freaking world knows about it. So just ... get over it Markey." We stood there looking at each other in total silence for what seemed like a long time but probably wasn't when someone came up and took her by the hand. I looked at the intruder and saw Todd. He smiled up at me and I heard "Hi Mark", but instead of victory I think I saw a bit of fear in his eyes. I said nothing as I glared at him. The smile came back to Suzy's face and she said, "We have to go. See ya." They turned and walked away holding hands. I stood watching them go continuing to obstruct the pathways of hurrying students. "He's not much taller than her," I said under my breath. "And dumpy with bulging eyes and twisted copper wire for hair." I shook my head and kept standing there for quite a while perhaps hoping to become a permanent fixture. I looked up at the clouds and watched them change shape as they rolled across the sky. I watched the ants as they followed a trail from one side of the walkway around my feet and on to the other side. "I'm a 4.0 student in computer science," I thought. "This should not be difficult to compute." After an untold amount of time I suddenly realized I was standing all alone in the middle of the walkway and decided it was time to move so I ambled slowly over to a large maple tree in the middle of the bright green commons and stood close facing it for a few seconds. Then quite forcefully I thumped my forehead against the trunk. I took a step backward, grimaced and shook my head. The pain felt good. I sighed as I turned and walked to class. Just Between Us Should I mention something or not I wondered. Sitting next to the fire pit in the back yard, I gazed into the flames and pondered my next decision. Sitting next to me was my sister, the glow of the fire brushing across her face. Ever since I first met her years ago when I was first introduced to my girlfriend’s family, Brenda was a woman of beauty. Her long dark hair bounced across her shoulders giving way to her dark brown eyes. There were times when we were visiting their home; I would have the chance to catch her getting ready for work. Working for a large hotel as a receptionist, she would always wear a dress or skirt to work, each time putting on tan shiny nylons. Slipping her small toes into the heels, I would drool sitting in the chair across the room at her. There were times that I would find myself alone in the house while everyone was outside talking or enjoying a cookout. Then was the moment of excitement, as I would cross the hallway and into her room. Keeping an ear to the sounds coming from the joining living room, I would slowly open the drawers under the waterbed, exposing the vast collection of nylons in every shape color and style. Grabbing a small hand full and listening once more to quietness, I would stuff them down into my pants, letting them slide across my now stiff rod. Oh the nights would go by, when she would come home around midnight that I would make sure I was awake. We normally camped out on the fold out couch, but I would find an excuse to lay out across the living room floor waiting for her. Then, in anticipation as I would hear the familiar front door open, I would start to become hard again. With one eye open, the other one closed, I would watch her slip off her shoes and dance across the floor working her way from the kitchen and finally resting in the chair next to me. My hunger was wild, as I watched her leg crossed, bouncing across my line of sight. Each moment closer, I would stir, ever so slowly inching my way closer to her foot resting on the floor. As the rhythm of my body swaying over my dick would cause precum, I would lose her as she got up and headed to her bedroom. It was painful excitement every time. Did she ever know what I was up to? But now here it was, a year later and nothing ever said between us. Sure we could talk about anything, but I always felt that it was too much to tell her about my fascination over her legs. Here she was, sitting inches from me at my home, and I couldn’t form the words. My ex-girlfriend had left me days before, and Brenda had come over to help me over the situation. Tom, her husband was a marine and was rarely home to see his wife when he did come into town. Spending time with his buddies more; Brenda was also feeling very lonely telling me every once in a while. But the ever growing bulge in my pant was starting to show, and covering my arm over it, I decided it was now or never to tell her my desires. I quickly changed the subject from volleyball to sex and after a while of not saying much, she opened up and the conversation began to heat up. She told me her likes and dislikes, and I, taking mental notes, nodded and continued to listen. When she went quiet, I asked her if Tom ever gave good massages. She turned away and quietly told me that Tom had rarely touched her since he left into the military a year ago. She loved having massages done when it was possible; she loved the feeling of being relaxed. I then pressed my luck and asked if she enjoyed having her feet massaged. I almost fell off the table when she told me “especially my feet.” She held my glance for a moment waiting for a response before turning away with a smile. Trying not to lose the moment, I told her it was 1:30 in the morning and that if she stayed the night on the couch, I would give her a personal foot massage. She gave a quick laugh and told me to go get another wine cooler. I walked away feeling humiliated and wondered what was I thinking. After returning from the house, I sat back down on the table and passed the drink to her. To my surprise, she agreed to stay the night. The next words from her lips almost killed me. “Do you have a foot fetish Jan?” I turned to her not being able to answer right away. She smiled and told me she knew of my love watching her getting ready for work and coming home at night. “You knew I was looking?” I asked dumbfounded. Sure, she began to explain. She told me that many times she caught me in the corner of her eye putting on her nylons before getting ready for work. It didn’t really mean much until every night when she got home and found me on the floor inching my way closer to her feet she understood. I sat there frozen as she sipped away from the bottle. Taking in some air, I decided to tell her the whole truth. I explained to her my love for her body and that I really thought she had the most perfect feet in the world. As the night went on, we continued to discuss the nylon fetish and how I found that I wasn’t alone in liking them. Her eyes grew big as I explained that the Internet had given me hundreds of sites to check out, each paying homage to nylons and legs. The more she asked, the more I became turned on. When it finally came quiet between us, she asked to retire for the night. Following her into the house, I quickly made her bed on the couch. Turning off all the lights in the house, except for the one coming from the television, I waited to say good night. When she finally emerged, she walked over to the couch and thanked me for the bedding. Asking me to say a while and talk, I agreed and sat down next to the side of the couch. Picking up the remote, I started to change channels as she lay down and pulled the covers over her. A moment later I heard her call my name and was surprised to see an exposed foot peeking out from under the covers covered in nylon. “Well, you did say you wanted to massage my feet, here’s your big chance.” Puzzled, I looked down at the nylons and asked her how did she know to bring some? She smiled and pushed both feet out in front of my face. From that moment on, my brain was on autopilot as I reached out and took her foot into my hands. As I began to massage her legs, I slowly worked up over her body taking in every inch and releasing the tension in each muscle. Twenty minutes later she was breathing shallow and I was back at her feet once more. I sat there for a moment gazing over her beautiful hose covered legs and knowing that the light from the television wasn’t enough to see over all of them. It was then I came across a terrific idea for this once in a lifetime moment. Whispering across to her I explained I would be right back to continue. She nodded as I got up and made my way to my bedroom to the stash I had of hers and quickly made my way to the bathroom, shutting the door. Under the neon light shining above, I could see the bulge in my pants, wanting to escape its cell. Dropping both my shorts and underwear, I put the shorts back on and slowly rolled one of her nylons over my stiff hard on. Buttoning up the shorts, I left the zipper undone and walked out of the bathroom, leaving the light on. Her eyes were still closed when I stopped short of the couch. Getting down on my knees, I laid across the floor with my hands grabbing at her feet. Now all the pressure of my body was on my penis, and swaying gently, I began to rub her feet once more. As the feeling of energy built up inside of me, I found my hot breath was surrounding her toes. It was dangerous, but I couldn’t help it. In that moment, the dream came true. She slipped her left toes across my face wiping the sweat building across it. I stayed with the motion of her foot and moments later it was joined by the other. She was lying on her back and one arm was behind her head on the pillow, the other, I couldn’t see. A few seconds later, I was licking her toes with the fever of wild cat. She indulged me giving me the sensations I’d never dreamed about. I was just about to cum when I heard a moan come from her lips. Looking up, her eyes were still closed, but I could see that the missing arm of hers was under the covers. I had to know. Slipping my left hand under the covers gently, I felt a slight jerk and touch her hand, which was now lying on her stomach. Laying my hand over hers entwined; I slowly brought back her hand to where it was before. She hesitated for a moment until I told her I was feeling that good two. She released and I slowly inched our hands back to her pussy. I was surprised and quickly figured out that she had puled down her panties when I was in the bathroom. She must have been getting turned on by what I was doing and figured she might as well get off by it. If my hands had eyes, they would have witnessed her index finger sliding in between her moist lips. Her rhythm was incredible, and not wanting to miss this, I told her that I would masturbate in front of her if she would do the same. There were no words, but the blankets went flying over my head exposing her legs wide open. I rolled quickly onto my back, letting her feet dangle over my head, Slipping off my shorts and tossing aside the nylons covering my hard on, I started to pump faster. My eyes closed every once in a while and in the last few moments, I opened them to her sounds. I caught her watching me, stroking every inch away, and with her toes firmly planted in my mouth sucking away, I continued to watch her start to cum. It was too much, too late to hold back. We both screamed out into the night as I exploded all over the side of the couch. She jumped closer to the side watching me, hoping that some of it would end up on her. I held the tip hard and waited as the last shot came across the side of her face. I fell back on my head and gasp for air. A couple of minutes later, I thought I heard a giggle as she pulled the blankets back over her. Then, silence. No words were said for the rest of the night. And in the morning, we both acted as if nothing happened. To this day I still remember the moment, its memory forever burned in my thoughts. I can’t wait until she sleeps over again. Just Between Us I sighed heavily as I flopped down on my brother's bed, not caring how obvious a ploy for attention it was. Ryan glanced over his shoulder at me, then turned back to his computer. It seemed like having his little sister barging in unannounced the way I tended to should have been irritating but he rarely seemed all that annoyed. Maybe he was just used to it. "What's up Ash?" he asked. "Well," I started, "it's Friday night and I'm sitting around at home. So basically nothing's up. That's the problem." "Ah," he said, as though that explained everything. I waited for him to continue but he remained silent. "I'm almost surprised you're not out with one of your many adoring girlfriends," I said, hoping to provoke a response. "They all busy?" "Something like that," he agreed, not taking the bait. He did at least turn his computer chair to face me. "I'm pretty sure you're not really concerned about my love life though." "Yeah, mostly just mine," I admitted. "Or lack thereof. I don't get it, my friends don't seem to have any trouble finding boyfriends, how come I do?" "I wouldn't worry about it. You're only eighteen, you've got plenty of time. There's lots of guys you haven't even met yet." "Yeah yeah," I muttered, hearing the same advice I'd received more than once before. When I thought about it a little more however, I realized he might have a point even if it probably wasn't the one he intended. There were indeed a lot of guys out there. "Do you think it's me?" I mused. "Am I just being to picky? I mean, I know there have been a couple who were interested, I just didn't really like them enough to want to be with them. Maybe I'm hoping for too much." "Fuck no," he answered immediately. "I know what boys are like around your age, I used to be one of them. Mostly they're exactly as immature as they seem. I don't want to see you with some asshole just because you think that's your only option." As if the couple years between us made all that much difference. Maybe things would get better in time, but I wasn't counting on any miracles. "Maybe it is my only option though," I insisted. "You can't know." Ryan stood up and leaned over me where I was still lying on his bed. "Yes, I can," he stated as though it was unarguably true. Then he kissed me. It was only a soft kiss, and it was over almost before I understood what was happening. Still it was enough to confuse the hell out of me. "I'm gonna go get something to drink, you want anything?" He was standing up again and looking down at me as though everything was completely normal. "Uh, no thanks," I said stupidly. I watched him go even as I continued trying to process what he'd just done. It was bizarre feeling to have my older brother kiss me, but it was even weirder to feel disappointed that it had been as brief as it was. It wasn't as though I had never done anything with a guy before. I had exaggerated slightly about my complete inability to get a boyfriend, it was more a matter finding someone I wanted to spend time with for longer than a date or two. The problem was that unlike any other time I could think of, this kiss had actually felt like I had always assumed they were supposed to; like the other person involved actually cared about me. Granted that could simply be because I knew my brother wasn't just trying to get into my pants and maybe that's all it was. Maybe I was reading more into the whole thing than I should. It's not like Ryan meant anything by it I'm sure, most likely it was just an attempt to reassure me. Like a comforting hug that got pushed a little too far. It probably didn't mean anything more than that. I hung around for a while when he got back hoping he might say something, let me know what he was thinking. Our conversation mostly stayed on other, safer topics however and I ended up going to bed both slightly frustrated and a lot less certain of the world around me than I would have liked. **** On Monday I got home just before supper time after spending a few hours at a friend's house after school. The rest of my weekend had passed by slowly, if uneventfully, and I hadn't quite managed to work up the courage to talk to Ryan. The memory of him kissing me still lurked constantly at the back of my mind. As I passed by the living room I noticed my brother sitting on the couch watching tv. I almost kept walking but I knew I needed to talk to him sometime and it might be less awkward doing so somewhere other than in his bedroom. Pretending like I just happened to be passing by, which I sort of was, I casually walked in and sat down beside him. "Hey," he said. "Why'd you kiss me?" I blurted out, not trusting myself to work up to it slowly. Ryan stared hard at me for a second, then glanced over his shoulder to make sure neither parent was in earshot. I already knew they weren't and also knew from experience that we would probably hear them coming before they could make out what we were saying. "Because I wanted to," he said simply. I raised an eyebrow at him giving him a look like there had better be more to the explanation than that. "What do you mean you wanted to?" I asked. "I mean I love you and I don't want to see you unhappy. It's not that complicated." He let out a deep breath. "Although, looking back, kissing you may not have really been the best way to go." "I dunno, I kinda liked it," I admitted. He gave me a strange look and for a second I regretted saying anything. "So did I," he finally said. "Doesn't mean we should." Ryan turned away from me, making me think he was done talking. I was okay with that since I had the information I'd been after. Now that I knew he felt at least partly the same way I did, I at least had something to work with. I jumped a little when I felt his hand land on my knee but didn't otherwise move from where I sat. I was wearing a skirt that had ridden up a little when I sat down and his palm lay on the bare skin of my leg. He didn't look at me but pretended to be interested in whatever show was on, making it difficult for me to know exactly what he was doing. His hand started making little circles over the area just above my knee, stopping occasionally to squeeze gently with his fingers. Shrugging to myself I scooted closer to him just a tad, ignoring how my skirt rode up farther on my legs. I spread my legs a little wider at the same time and tried to relax as his hand started working its way slowly up the inside of my thigh. I wondered how far he would go or, perhaps more to the point, how far I would let him go. Ryan said it himself that we shouldn't be doing this, or maybe that we shouldn't be enjoying it. Something like that. Yet I loved feeling his hand on me despite the gnawing certainty that whatever he was doing, it was wrong. Letting him do it to me wasn't much better either. Suddenly I heard footsteps in the hallway and almost bolted from my seat. That would have been more suspicious than simply remaining where I was however and I managed to keep my reactions in check. "Pass me the remote," I hissed. Ryan didn't even question it and handed the remote to me with his free hand, still stroking my leg with the other. I started flipping channels purely to give me something to focus on and to try to look like that was the only reason I was there. The footsteps grew closer and I knew it had to be dad not only from the direction he was coming from, but also from the sound; mom stepped much softer than he did. Fortunately he didn't come in and soon there was nothing but silence from behind us once more. All he would have seen was the back of our heads from the hallway anyway. I risked a peek over the back of the couch to confirm before turning back to my brother. "Almost thought you were going to run, felt you tense up," he said. "I wonder why," I muttered. "You know how much trouble we could be in, even if we haven't really done anything." "I know," he confirmed. Of course he knew, we both knew. Yet here I was sitting next to my brother with his hand up under my skirt where we could easily be caught if we weren't careful. Once again I faced the problem of how much I was okay with, how far I would let Ryan go. His hand had been steadily making its way toward the very top of my leg and all of a sudden I felt his finger brush against the material of my panties. I held my breath waiting to see if he would continue, simultaneously hoping and worrying that he would. "Supper!" I heard mom call. I bit back a sigh of frustration as all my anticipatory energy dissipated almost instantly. I should have known we didn't have that much time but somehow it hadn't registered properly. Ryan stood up with a final squeeze of my thigh and headed to the table not looking nearly as irritated as I felt. It wasn't fair getting interrupted like that, not in the middle of something so important to me. Then again, given that I had just been letting my brother feel me up, maybe it wouldn't hurt to take some time to regain my senses. Maybe it had been a case of temporary insanity or some other bullshit excuse. As soon as I stood up I knew I was just kidding myself. I felt the damp spot left on my panties as the material shifted and it served as a physical reminder of just how good it had felt having his hand on me. Wrong or not, I wanted to experience that feeling again. Getting through supper was predictably awkward, sitting directly across from Ryan and trying not to behave abnormally. Luckily I don't think our parents noticed anything was up and I made it through unscathed. I got stuck with doing the dishes afterward and, in a move that would have been unheard of most days, Ryan actually stuck around to help. Granted I why he did, but I saw mom give him a curious look before shrugging and leaving the room. He cleared off most of the table and piled the dishes on the counter as I ran some water in the sink and started washing plates. "That skirt looks good on you," he said after a few minutes. I looked over to where he was standing against the counter watching me and actually felt myself blushing slightly. I couldn't even think of the last time he'd remarked on my outfit, let alone as a compliment. "And here I thought you were only interested in what was underneath it," I said. "That too," Ryan agreed. He stepped around behind me and my heart started beating faster as I waited for several agonizing seconds for him to do something. I was almost ready to turn around when his arms wrapped themselves around my waist and he stepped in closer toward me until I felt his chest just barely make contact with my back. "How far were you going to let me go back in the living room?" he whispered. I shrugged, honestly not knowing the answer to that any better than he did. After a moment his hands dropped from my waist down to the bottom of my skirt, one on each leg. It was getting increasingly difficult for me to concentrate on the dishes I was supposed to be washing and I soon gave up, instead bracing myself against the counter on either side of the sink. My skirt got pulled up higher and higher with each passing minute, Ryan's exploring fingers one again approaching the area where my legs joined. We were far more exposed this time however and I started to worry about the possibility of getting caught out here with nothing to hide behind. Already the bottom of my skirt was bunching up around my waist where my brother's wrists had forced it and I knew that would be hard enough to try and explain. When I felt the waistband of my panties being tugged down my concern won over. "Maybe we shouldn't," I said unconvincingly. I turned my head as far as could without shifting my stance to find Ryan giving me a dubious look. "We don't have to if you don't want to," he assured me, clearly not believing that was the case. "It's just, we could get caught. Maybe somewhere else..." I trailed off, glancing meaningfully in the direction of our bedrooms. Either one would be fine with me. "Is that all?" He smiled broadly at me. "Do you think I'd let that happen?" I shook my head in response, realizing that he would have taken that into account already. For all I knew our parents had gone for a walk or something and I had simply missed them telling us. I certainly couldn't recall most of the conversation that went on as we ate. Or maybe he was just planning on paying attention and making sure we weren't interrupted unexpectedly. "Trust me Ash?" he asked. He nuzzled gently at my neck as he waited for my reply, making it very difficult for me to think straight. "Okay," I answered, my voice barely a whisper. My panties started once more sliding down my legs, this time with no resistance from me. I half remembered my earlier question of how far I would let Ryan go and, even though I still didn't have a definite answer, I suspected he could probably get away with quite a lot. Especially if it all made me feel this good. Ryan was soon crouched down behind me as my panties neared my ankles and at his indication I stepped out of them. I had a sudden flash of embarrassment as I realized they probably held a noticeable damp spot even though the more rational part of my brain understood that, all things considered, it was kind of a silly thing to worry about at this point. He stood up behind me, his hands returning to their positions on my upper thighs, without giving any indication what he'd done with my underwear. He wasted little time in bringing one hand to my now exposed pussy and tracing its smooth contours with his fingers. Gradually I felt them grow damp, spreading what could only be my own pussy juices across my skin. I wondered just how badly I was leaking down there but didn't dare check. One of his fingers pushed lightly against my slick opening but went no farther than that. He leaned closer to me, pressing our bodies together until I felt his breath on the back of my neck. "You still a virgin?" Ryan asked quietly, his lips mere inches from my ear. I was confused for a second or two since I thought he knew I had never been with a guy, I had complained about it often enough, but I quickly realized he was actually referring purely to my physical state. It was probably a reasonable question to ask actually since it would affect how easy penetration would be. "No. Just because I haven't had sex yet doesn't mean I'm completely innocent," I told him. I'm pretty sure I came off as more defensive than I meant to, but thankfully he let it go. Slowly my brother's single finger pushed into my hungry pussy as his other hand continued to caress my leg. My hips started rocking almost by themselves, helping to get him inside me faster and craving more. As though he could read my thoughts a second finger soon joined the first, still not quite enough to fully satisfy me but getting closer. After letting Ryan finger-fuck me for a few moments I shifted my stance slightly to jam my butt against his crotch. I could feel his cock easily even through his pants and took quite a bit of pleasure in how clearly hard he was. He might be able to reduce me to a gooey mess, but he wasn't completely unaffected by me either. His hips gradually started rocking back and forth in response to my movement, sliding his erection against my ass. I didn't know exactly what it would feel like inside me but I found myself trying to imagine it, trying to pretend my brother's fingers thrusting in my pussy were actually his dick. In the back of my mind I wondered if I dared offer to give him a blowjob just so I could actually see his cock and feel it in my hand. If he was anywhere near as horny as I thought he was he would probably let me. Before I could get too much further in my speculations I felt the familiar sensation of my orgasm hitting. It was the first time it had ever been the result of someone else's hands and I was unprepared for how intense it was. I was glad I was already leaning over the counter and that Ryan was there to support me or I might have simply collapsed on the floor. "You okay?" he asked, perhaps noting how close I had been to falling over. "Yeah, I think so." I forced myself to stand upright and turned around toward him on unsteady legs. "Maybe I should sit down for a minute though." "Go lie down," he insisted. "I'll finish up here. I don't want to have to explain why my little sister collapsed in the middle of doing dishes in a state of, shall we say, sexual arousal." I realized that I could feel a drop of liquid running down the inside of my leg, no doubt coming from my pussy. Ryan obviously knew just how turned on I had been and there was a hint of teasing on his face, but he also looked genuinely concerned too. "Alright, I'm going," I said. I stood up slightly on my toes before leaving to give him a light kiss, just barely more than an innocent display of affection between siblings, before making my way slowly to my room. I was kind of surprised we hadn't been caught, it felt like we stood there forever in plain view in the middle of the kitchen. Somehow we had gotten away with it. I spent most of the rest of the evening wondering what was going to happen next. **** Our encounter in the kitchen seemed to calm us both down for few days. Ryan didn't start avoiding me or anything which I had been a little worried he might, if anything we probably spent more time together. He wasn't shy about letting his hands wander either when given half a chance, and I made sure to provide plenty of opportunities. Maybe it was simply that nothing since then had approached the same level of craziness and seemed more normal in comparison. If normal was even a word that applied to our situation. I started dressing sexier for him when I could get away with it; tighter tops, shorter skirts, 'accidentally' forgetting to wear panties, that sort of thing. I didn't have as much experience at it as I would have liked since I never really had anyone I wanted to show off for before but I think I did okay. It didn't take much to entice him really. All I ever got to feel were his fingers though and I spent more and more time thinking about what it would be like to go further. Eventually I gave in and brought up the subject in conversation. "Hey Ryan," I said, hoping I sounded casual. "Yeah?" He was driving me home, as he had been doing more often lately, and didn't take his eyes off the road. I still wished I had my own car but not nearly to the same extent I usually did. "You seeing anyone right now?" I asked. I was pretty sure he wasn't but he wasn't always as quick as I was to talk about his relationships. Besides, it seemed like a good, if somewhat roundabout, way of getting onto my desired subject. "While we've been messing around you mean? No, I'm not," he said. "Okay, 'cause I've been thinking about... what if we did more than just messing around." It was really difficult trying to continue as though it was just an everyday chat and I'm not sure I was succeeding all that well. I forced myself to look out the window to avoid studying Ryan's reaction like I wanted too. "Like how much more?" he asked after a short pause. "Like enough that I wouldn't be a virgin anymore," I said quietly. For some reason I felt weird about just asking him to fuck me. Probably it was that fear of rejection lingering at the back of my head, I wasn't certain how I would react if he said no. There was no way he could misinterpret what I was suggesting though, or at least I was pretty sure he couldn't. "Are you sure?" "Why not? I know people keep saying it's not a big deal even at my age, but I'm tired of it." I knew he wasn't really referring to me having sex so much as it being with him, and I could tell that my argument wasn't doing much to convince him either. "Look," I sighed, "I know it's weird, but I think I'd like my first time to be with you. You make me feel good and I know I can trust you. You told me you didn't want me to end up with some random asshole didn't you?" Just Between Us "I'm not arguing with you Ash, I just want to make sure you know what you're doing," he replied calmly. "What we've been doing, you could rationalize that away fairly easily if you regretted it sometime down the road. You'll always remember your first time though and-" "I won't regret it," I interrupted. "Whatever else happens, I promise I won't." Ryan nodded as though accepting and at the next opportunity turned off from the road back to our house. "Where we going?" I asked, wanting to confirm that he made the turn on purpose. "If we're going to do this I don't think we need to spend the whole time worrying about getting caught. I'd like your first time to actually be a good experience if possible. Mine was kind of a short, awkward mess in this girl's bedroom and I think I spent as much time hoping her dad wouldn't catch us as I did about her. He never liked me being with his daughter, probably would have kicked my ass if he found out. Still smile when I think about it though." None of which actually answered my question but at least I confirmed my brother knew what he was doing. "You've thought about it too then," I deduced. "Of course I have. After you let me touch you that first time on the couch, and in the kitchen, how could I not? I can hardly stop thinking about you even when I try." "Really?" I asked, genuinely surprised that I had affected him that much. "Yeah, it's been hard restraining myself as much as I have. I didn't want to go too far and just push you away. Or hurt you." "Well you don't have to worry about that anymore." He gave me a crooked smile then went back to concentrating on the road. I spent the next few minutes trying to guess where he was taking me since it didn't seem like he was going to tell me. The most likely scenario I could come up with was that he planned on borrowing a friend's place for a few hours. It was only when he pulled into the parking lot of a nearby hotel that I realized what he actually intended. "We're going to get a room here?" I asked. "Unless you have a better idea," he replied. "Not really. I mean you're right, it just seems like it's kinda expensive for what we want." "Maybe, but you're worth it." The smile Ryan gave me with that statement was enough to make me blush and stare down at the dashboard. The way he could casually make me feel special just added to my certainty that I made the right decision. I was little slower getting out of the car than he was, still a little hesitant about the plan. Guys being willing to spend money on their girlfriend was usually considered a good thing as far as I understood, it just seemed somehow different in our case. Maybe because I didn't really know what our relationship was anymore. We were no longer a completely normal brother and sister, but neither were we truly a couple. My moment of indecision was ended abruptly when Ryan grabbed my hand and gently tugged me toward the hotel entrance. I allowed myself to be pulled along willingly and was soon walking side by side with my him. A small shiver ran down my spine as I realized we might actually look like a couple to other people, walking into a hotel together holding hands. It made me wonder how obvious it would be to anyone who didn't know us that we were siblings, it wasn't something I'd ever particularly worried about before. As we entered the building itself and made our way to the front desk I studied the few people in view. There was no reason to think anyone who would recognize us would be staying there but one of the employees might. Ryan seemed to pick up on my apprehension and gave me a reassuring smile. "Trust me," he mouthed. I didn't pay much attention as he talked to the clerk at the desk but I did my best to stop fidgeting and looking around. He knew what he was doing, all I needed to concentrate on was not drawing undue attention. Nobody would know what we were up to, and if they did somehow guess it was none of their business anyway. It wasn't until we were safely in the elevator that Ryan said anything more to me. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him as we stood side by side going up. "Nervous?" he asked, knowing full well that I was. "Yeah," I nodded. "You don't have to be. We don't even have to do anything if you don't want to, there's no pressure." "I said I wanted to didn't I? Besides you already paid for the room and everything." "It's just money." "Uh-huh, right," I replied, rolling my eyes. Before long we were off the elevator and standing in front of our room. I didn't expect Ryan would go with the cheapest possible option or anything, but I was still surprised how big the room was when he opened the door. The bed had to be at least twice the size of my own, certainly larger than anything I had slept in before, and there was generally a lot more floor space and furniture than we could reasonably have any use for. "Just money huh?" I said as I walked in and started to explore. "I told you, you're worth it. You probably shouldn't expect this on a regular basis though," he added. "I didn't even expect it this time." I sat down on the edge of the bed, finding it to be as comfortable as it looked. "So what now?" Ryan double checked the door to make sure it was locked, then turned to me. With an enigmatic smile he started unbuttoning his shirt, which I took to be his silent answer to my question. I had seen my brother topless before and it had never been a big deal, but now I couldn't seem to focus on anything else. Despite not being heavily muscled or overly athletic he looked good without a shirt and I wasn't sure how I had failed to notice it before. Soon he stood in front of me and gestured for me to stand up. I complied and let him start undressing me, somehow more nervous than before. Even with everything we'd done he had yet to see me naked and part of me couldn't help worrying about what he would think. It was hard to concentrate on my concerns however with my brother's hands running freely over my body and his lips pressing softly against newly uncovered skin. It turned out I was worrying over nothing. As more and more of my clothes came off it became obvious that Ryan was getting just as horny as I was, if not more so. More than once I felt his growing erection poking into me and I caught several glimpses of it straining in his pants. My panties were the last item of clothing to come off and with Ryan kneeling in front of me while I stepped out of them I knew he could tell how wet I was. He stayed down for longer than necessary with my pussy directly at eye level and bared before him. I expected to feel his touch at any moment, almost shivering with anticipation, but instead he simply kissed the top of my leg and stood up. "Get on the bed," he told me. I bounced into the middle of the far-too-large mattress and turned around to watch my brother finish removing the rest of his clothes. I felt a surge of excitement when his boxers came off and his cock sprang free. It was the first one I had ever seen for real instead of just in pictures or video clips on the internet. My initial urge was to touch it, to feel it in my hand, but Ryan had other ideas. He made me lie back as he joined me on the bed, crawling slowly up between my legs. His kisses trailed up the inside of my thigh as my legs spread subconsciously wider for him. He stopped when the top of his head neared my waist and I felt his warm breath lightly caressing the area around my pussy. "What?" I demanded, feeling self-conscious again as he studied me. "Nothing," he replied, looking up at me with a reassuring smile. "I don't know why you're so worried about your body, you shouldn't be." "Easy for you to say," I muttered. "Ash, think about it for a second. You're hot enough that your own brother can't keep his hands off you. I don't know what you think our relationship is supposed to be but I can assure you this is not the sort of thing I'd do if I was only trying to boost your confidence." Not only was I certain that he meant what he said, but I knew he was right. I kept focusing so much on my own desires that I tended to forget about his. "You really want me?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "I really do," he confirmed. "And I want you to relax a little, try and enjoy yourself. That was the whole point of the hotel room." I nodded and leaned back until I was staring up at the ceiling. Ryan could do an excellent job of making me forget whatever fears I might have, I knew that from experience. All I had to do was let him. As I soon discovered, not being able to watch his movements made every touch so much harder to anticipate. His fingers never went anywhere completely unexpected as they zeroed in on my pussy, but I never knew exactly where they would land or which direction they would trail across my skin. Without warning his tongue made contact with my pussy and traced the length of my wet slit, causing me to draw in a sharp breath. "Oh god," I moaned as he repeated the motion. I groped blindly for the back of his head with my hand and tangled my fingers in his hair. His tongue felt so good on me, and combined with his skilled fingers it was almost, but not quite, enough to make me forget about my overriding desire to have his cock inside me. Slowly he worked his tongue into my welcoming pussy, probing as deep as he could manage. I pressed gently on the back of his head as though it would help and cooed softly in pleasure. "Mmm, yeah," I encouraged. "Feels so good." As good as it all felt I had assumed Ryan was just warming me up, making sure I was ready for him. That thought only lasted until he found my clit. As soon as he touched it a bolt of pleasure shot through my entire body and caused my hips to raise involuntarily. He must have noticed the effect it had on me because he immediately switched his focus to it, his tongue in my pussy becoming simply an afterthought for us both. I had played with my clit on my own of course, not having a serious boyfriend led to more hours locked in my bedroom masturbating than I cared to count, but no one else had ever so much as touched it. Ryan didn't have quite the expert touch I had developed over the years but I was turned on enough that it didn't matter. I could feel my orgasm building the moment his finger brushed my clit and it overtook me moments later. "How was that?" Ryan had crawled up beside me while I was cumming and looked quite satisfied at his handiwork. "Good. Awesome. I dunno, some other words too," I replied, slowly regaining my senses. "You gonna put that in me now?" I asked, looking pointedly at his still-hard cock. "Thought you might want to recover a little first," he said. "Uh-uh." I shook my head and rolled over slightly so I could grasp his erection in my hand. It felt so natural in my palm, just like I expected in some ways yet different in others. Ryan's eyes closed for a second as I slid my hand up and down the shaft a couple times. "I want it in me now," I stated firmly. "Anything for my little sister," he said with a crooked smile. I reluctantly let go of him and lay back down as he climbed on top of me. The tip of his erection slid against my pussy lips as he positioned himself forcing me to resist the urge to thrust upward. He paused for a moment to look at me and I thought he was going to ask if I was sure about this again. He knew better though and instead simply guided the head of his cock into my pussy. He went slow at first which I appreciated since his cock was probably the biggest thing I'd ever had inside me. It wasn't too big though, just enough to make me feel nicely filled up as he penetrated deeper. As much as I wanted to concentrate on the new sensations, there was a part of me that could only focus on the fact that I was in the midst of finally losing my virginity. Granted it was to my brother which meant I couldn't actually tell anyone, but I didn't care. It could be our secret, no one else mattered. Before long he was thrusting into my pussy for real and I gradually became aware that it was no longer purely for my benefit. He needed to cum, perhaps more than he even realized. It was another indicator for me just how worked up he could get around me even if he didn't necessarily show it. "Go ahead," I whispered in his ear. I didn't know how Ryan would interpret that but I left it up to him to decide. If he wanted to use me to get himself off then he had earned it as far as I was concerned. A few minutes later I got my acknowledgement. He pistoned in and out of me even more urgently just before I felt his cum shooting inside me. It was a weird feeling but I loved it, loved that it was my brother's cum inside me. I wondered idly how he felt about cumming inside his little sister. "Fuck," he said, rolling off me finally. "We just did that," I said, failing to keep a straight face. "But we can do it again if you want." He just shook his head and smiled as he moved his arm to let me curl up beside him. "So, you feel any different?" he asked eventually. "You mean now that I had sex? I dunno, there's too many feelings all at once right now. They're all good though." "That's good," he said, slurring his words just a little. He almost looked like he was falling asleep on me. I, by contrast, felt wide awake and full of energy but I didn't mind. I had so much to process and felt so good cuddled up naked with my big brother that I was happy just to lie there for a while. "Ryan?" I said softly after a bit. "Mm-hm?" he mumbled back, confirming he was still awake. "I love you." "I know. Love you too Ash." I smiled and went back to my thoughts. Maybe Ryan would fall asleep, maybe he just needed to rest for a few minutes. Either way I was as happy and content as I could ever remember being, and we still had the hotel room for the whole night. Just Between You & Me...& Me Note-This takes place before one of the girls got her hair cut. That way I can tell them apart. This story also involves incest, since Heather and Jennifer are identical twins. And, their famous, so this story has EVERYTHING! * * * * * "OH, FUCK, HEATHER!!! LICK MY PUUSSSYYY! YESSS! I'M CUUMMINNG!!! Jennifer rocked her blonde hair back and forth on the couch as her massive climax spilled down her sister's mouth. My name's Bob Slidel. I'm their father. Ever since my girls blossomed into young women, I have wanted to sneak a peek of them naked. Perhaps, if I'm lucky, fuck the shit out of them. Know, this quite possibly could be my chance. I was blessed enough to catch them in an intimate moment in their room. I guess they figured no one was watching through the crack. Heather got up and her breasts were huge. When she laid back flat on the hardwood floor, her jugs giggled. "Know me," she whispered. I was pumping furiously on my cock. "Oh, God. Shit, yeah," I muttered through clenched teeth. Jennifer positioned her lips at her siblings cunt and popped her tongue out. "LICK IT, BITCH!" She ordered. "MAKE ME CUM IN YOUR SLUTTY FUCKING MOUTH!" With every lick of the stars sex, the beauty thrust her hips faster. "OH, JESUS!! HELL YEESS!!! SUCK MY NAUGHTY CUNT!! UM, YEAH! FUCKING WHORE!!! EAT MEE!!" The gorgeous singer glared up at the singer and extended her hands to Heather's large breasts. "HOLY SHIT!! I'M CUUMMIINNNGGG!!! The twin moaned in a gigantic climax. "AHHHHHH! DAMN! That was the BEST!" She panted. I was also on the verge of spraying my shorts. I struggled not to orgasm until this hot display of "sibling rivalry" was over. "MAN, Jen. I wish you had a cock." "Well, perhaps I can help you their." She looked towards the door. "Hi Dad. You can come in." GOD! They saw me. I LOVE my girls. Opening the door, I walked in the room. Heather was the first of the blonde babes to kiss me. She ALWAYS had more initiative. Her lips were sticky from her sister's cum. Jennifer was busy tugging my Jeans and boxers off me. Finally, we ALL were nude. Both siblings eyed my cock in tremendous anticipation. "GOD, Dad. That monster is ENORMOUS! She twirled me around to face her, and passionately kissed me. Her lips were also very slimy from her sister's filth. Heather decided to get VERY dirty and her tongue traveled down my back to my ass. "UM!" Then, in an instant, her tongue went into my ass. "UMPH!!!" At last, our lips broke. "Fuck my pussy, Dad." I pulled off my t-shirt and guided my cock to my daughter's cunt. "NOW!" she commanded. I one hard motion, my entire dick was up Jen's wet box. "UM, YEAH! CUM INSIDE ME. I WANT TO FEEL YOUR JIZM IN MY INCESTUOUS CUNT!!!" My girl was humping me with violent thrusts. "HOLY FUCKING BITCH!! I LOOVVEE IT!!! FUCCK MEE!!! Her sister was busy watching well massaging her large breasts. "That's it, Father. Fuck the shit out of that nasty fucking slut. Cum inside the horny little bitch." "YEES! CUUM INSIDE ME, DAD! I WANT YOU SLIME IN MY NAUGHT PUSSY!!! She thrust her hips one last time on my member. I'M CUUMMINNG!!" Her orgasm shook out of my daughter and cleansed my cock. "AHHHH, SHIT!!!" I also came inside Jennifer's box. "AHHH! DAMN! That was WONDERFUL!!!" I glanced at Heather. "Your turn, babe." To Be Continued... Sorry, but I like keeping you on edge.