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Is Enough Really Enough?

By: Blue88



(Very little sex in this tale)

*

Arch Meader stood, gazing out of his large, corner office window. The sun was setting, casting a golden glow on the landscape below, but Arch did not take note. His thoughts were inward, mulling over what his life had become. He was vaguely unsettled, dissatisfied, discontented, and he knew the cause.

Arch took stock: he was a healthy, vigorous guy at about 6 feet tall and he knew that he weighed not much more than when he was in college. Almost daily 3 mile jogs kept him in good shape. Okay, he knew that there was some gray showing at his temples, but at age 45 that shouldn't be surprising. He had also reached the top of the ladder in his profession - he was the chief operating officer at a large, center city medical center and he thoroughly enjoyed his job. He also enjoyed the six figure income derived from that job. He looked forward to getting up in the morning and coming to work. It was always stimulating with new and unique problems constantly cropping up. He enjoyed the challenge.

Arch shook his head impatiently - he knew the reason for his malaise, but had never had the courage to really confront it. He finally had to face the fact that his marriage was in real jeopardy. If it continued to drift as it had been for the past few years, it would end with a whimper, dying because neither party had the will to do anything to save it. The problem was that he really had no idea how they had come to this point in their relationship and even more critical, did he really want to save it? When did it change from a loving, passionate cocoon of desire to a faint, flickering flame that was slowly fading? Why had the Denise he had loved so totally become just a woman who lived with him? His mind drifted back through the years...

********************

Arch was 25 and finishing his Master's Degree in Hospital Management. He was full of piss and vinegar and was set to conquer the world. He had already accepted a position as Asst. Administrator in a small, suburban hospital and was raring to go. He shared a small, two bedroom apartment with Joe Coker, also a graduate student majoring in Finance. The next 20 years of his life was set in motion because of the results of a conversation he had with Joe.

"Arch, you just gotta, please. I'm beggin' ya. This is really important to me. She just won't go out with me unless I get a date for her girlfriend." Joe pleaded.

"Bullshit, Joe," Arch responded. "Sheila knows that all you want is to get into her pants and she needs protection. You know the old adage, 'there's safety in numbers'."

"Whatever," muttered Joe. "Look, Arch. Do me this one favor. I'll owe you and you know I always pay my debts. C'mon, Arch, pleeeese,"

Arch finally laughed and gave in. "Okay, Joe. Okay. But don't forget. You owe me and after I see this girlfriend, you'll probably really owe me."

The two met their dates at a small, Italian bistro downtown. Joe led them over to the table where two girls were about to be seated. Arch immediately recognized Sheila whom he had met a few times before, but his gaze became fixed on her friend. Introductions were made and Arch discovered that his blind date was named Denise, or 'Dee', but any further remarks went over his head. He was obviously very taken with her and it was blatantly apparent that he was smitten.

Arch couldn't help staring at her. He guessed that she was about 5' 4" and was slender, but with a well developed bust. Her hair was blonde with just a hint of red highlights. Her eyes were hazel and they sparkled in amusement. Arch finally realized how much of a fool he was making of himself and blushed furiously. His embarrassment eased when everyone laughed gently at his discomfort and they began to chat before ordering. 

Joe and Sheila had begun a quiet conversation and Arch found himself introducing himself again to Denise. "Sorry about appearing so gauche, Dee. I didn't expect anyone like you," he said softly and grinned.

"I'll take that as a complement, Arch. By the way, Arch is an unusual name. Is there a story behind that?" queried Dee.

"Archibald is my full name, but everyone calls me Arch. I'm sure that you can see why," he grinned again. "I can thank the name for one thing though. Growing up in the city, I sure learned how to use my hands to defend myself. Any kid growing up with the name Archibald had better learn to fight, and I sure learned to fight."

Denise seemed to be a bit taken aback. She nodded and murmured, "Well, I can certainly understand that."

The evening passed quickly and Arch found himself totally entranced with his date. He found her to be not only lovely, but intelligent to boot. She was finishing her degree in Business Administration with a major in Marketing. Coincidently, she would graduate on her birthday - she would be 22.

That was the beginning. They seemed made for each other, they had the same likes in food, music and even politics. It didn't take long for Arch to realize that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Denise and he was pretty sure that she felt the same way. It was only two weeks later after a movie and a late night bite to eat that Arch tried opening his heart to her.

"Dee, ahhhhh, look. Wait. Dee, I, ahhh, need to talk to you. Damn, this is a little more difficult that I thought it would be," he muttered.

Denise smiled and reached over for his hand. "Arch, I'll make it easier. I love you. I really do believe I love you, but please, let's take this slow. I don't want us to go rushing off to bed and driving down to Maryland for a quickie wedding. Let's take our time, really get to know each other. Okay?"

Arch let out a brief sigh of relief. "Dee, that sounds fine and I guess I had better tell you - I love you too, I love you madly and totally so let's get out of here and I'll walk you home."

They strolled, hand in hand, stopping to kiss occasionally. Arch felt that his feet were a few inches above the pavement - he was ecstatically happy. Denise seemed wrapped in the same aura and couldn't keep the smile from her face. Their future looked so bright. The had to pass Arch's place on their way to Denise's apartment and as they did they were startled to see Joe rushing out of the front door.

"Whoa, Joe," Arch called. "Where the hell are you running to?"

Joe had stopped and was staring at the two of them. "I thought that you were going to a movie and dinner? It's only 9 o'clock. Where are you headed to?"

"I'm walking Denise home, Joe. What's the problem?" Arch replied, a bit mystified by Joe's obvious agitation. 

Denise was standing by and she had a small smile on her face. She interrupted....."That's ok, Joe. You go ahead. Arch wanted me to stop by for a drink and I don't think I'll be home for at least a couple of hours. Tell Sheila where I am, ok?"

Joe was now grinning. "Great. Okay, Dee- I'll let Sheila know that you won't be back for a couple of hours. That way she won't worry about you. Thanks, Dee," he threw over his shoulder as he moved quickly down the street.

Arch had been standing there with a blank look on his face. He suddenly laughed and muttered, "Jeez, I feel like an ass. You caught on right away, didn't you?" he grinned at Dee.

Denise just smiled at him and tucked her arm under his. "Well, sweetie. We have a couple of hours so how about that drink that I mentioned to Joe." They mounted the steps and entered the building.

After refilling Denise's glass and his own Arch again sat back next to her on the small sofa. "Now, where were we?" he murmured as he took her in his arms again. Their lips met again in a soft kiss and suddenly her lips parted and her tongue darted into his mouth briefly. The kiss became more passionate and they were soon breathing heavily. Denise's eyes had become a bit glazed and hooded.

She reached for his hand and placed it on her breast. "Gently, Arch. Please, gently." she breathed as his hand caressed that soft mound.He could feel her nipple stiffen and moved to the other breast to continue his caresses. He moved his mouth to her neck and gently kissed and nuzzled her soft flesh as he started to unbutton her blouse. She reached to help him and the garment was soon off and on the floor. The bra had a front clasp and was soon open, exposing the most beautiful globes he had ever seen, although he would have had to admit that he hadn't seen that many. He just sat quietly for a moment, taking in their beauty. They weren't all that large, but sat proudly on her chest with pale areolas and pink nipples which were now hard and straining.

Denise was now blushing and moved to him, leaning her face into his neck. "You're embarrassing me, Arch," she laughed softly.

Arch took her shoulders and moved her back a bit. "You're gorgeous, Dee I just love looking at you and I love this even more," he said as he moved his head to her breast, taking a nipple into his mouth. He bit gently and then tweaked the bud softly with his tongue. Dee gasped and pulled his head tighter to her. He alternated breasts, giving each the attention it deserved until she was writhing on the sofa.

Arch knew she was very aroused and he placed his hand on her thigh under her skirt. He felt her stiffen and stilled that hand, just letting it rest on her thigh. He continued to tongue the nipple in his mouth and felt her relax a bit. 

The continued attention to Dee's breasts was creating conflict in her. She reveled in what Arch was doing, but she knew that she really didn't want this to end in them making love. She was afraid at what the consequences would be if they consummated their relationship so soon after their first date. She had been there, done that, and didn't want a quick fling. She thought that she had found the man she wanted to spend her life with and she really didn't want to screw things up now by jumping into bed with him so quickly. 

Such thoughts quickly vanished when she suddenly realized that Arch had moved his hand gently up her thigh and his fingers were lightly tracing the lips of her pussy through her damp panties. Her thighs opened almost of their own volition and she let him continue his gentle probing under her skirt. She felt her juices flowing and felt a trickle of moisture creep down to her anus. Then, with almost no warning, she began to orgasm, her body tensing and then trembling as the waves of pleasure coursed through her.

Denise clung to him as her body came down, breathing heavily. Arch held her gently in his arms and soothed her, murmuring soft, unintelligible sounds. Soon he extricated himself and mumbling something under his breath, headed for the bathroom. It wasn't long before he reappeared dressed in different clothing. Seeing Susan's questioning look he became red faced. 

"Sorry, Dee. I feel like a teenager. When you came.........well, so did I. I didn't even know I was that close. Sorry, you just got me too excited," he stammered.

Denise smiled and her heart filled with love for this man. She quickly made up her mind. The hell with caution; she rose and took him by the hand, pulling him into his bedroom. "C'mon, Arch. Let's do this right. I want you to make love to me." And that's what they did, well into the night and despite the later arrival of Joe who quietly slipped into his room.

They married soon after graduation. It was a small affair with just immediate families and some friends. The honeymoon consisted of a few days down the shore, then back to the small apartment they had rented. Denise had accepted a position with a marketing firm in town which was a short hop from their flat. Arch, of course, had to commute to the hospital which was located about half an hour away in the burbs.

Life went well. Oh, they had the usual problems, adjusting to each other and to married life. Money really wasn't a problem as together they made more than enough to cover expenses plus savings. They both had decided that children would wait for a few years until they were able to buy a house and became more settled in their professions. The future seemed so bright.

********************

Arch sighed, picked up his briefcase and decided to go home. He would finish reading and notating budget requests from the various departments later at home. Walking through the door of their large, suburban house he head sounds from the kitchen. Poling his head in he saw Denise at the sink. "Smells good, honey. What's for dinner?"

Without turning Dee replied, "Salmon, dear. Wash up, dinner is almost ready. I will be going out later. I have to meet a client."

"Again, Dee?" Arch retorted. "Since when are all of these evening meetings so necessary. You don't have time for this during the day?"

"No, I don't. Let's have a dinner without all of the bickering," she replied flatly, no emotion in her voice.

"Never mind, I'm not hungry," Arch spat at her and walked into his study. He was fuming and he knew that it really wasn't about her occasional evening meetings with clients. It was about their loss of intimacy, the loss of closeness. The loss of the love that they had shared? He stopped, startled by the thought. Did he still love Denise? Did she love him? When was the last time they made love? His mind went back over the past months and was shocked to find that he couldn't even remember the last time. Was it that long ago?

Arch sighed again and sat wearily in the chair behind his desk. He knew that Denise's occasional evening meetings were legitimate. There was a time, a few years ago when he had become suspicious. He had given in to those suspicions and had hired a discreet investigation service and had her followed and observed periodically. All of the meetings were valid, and he had been ashamed at the lack of trust that he had in her. This was a good example of how precarious the marriage had become. He thought back, when did it all start to go downhill? Did it really begin so long ago? Did it stem from her depression so many years ago..............?

********************

Denise was going to be 30 and they had both decided that it was time to start a family. Arch had accepted a position as Executive VP at a hospital in town and was making a decent salary and Denise had also been moving up the ladder and was entrusted with a few accounts of her own. They were almost giddy, making sure that Dee knew when her fertile period occurred and making sure that they screwed as often as possible during that period..

Arch smiled faintly as he sat there, lost in the memories of happier days. Damn, it had been so good. The early years were filled with laughter, happiness, love. Working to get Dee pregnant was such a joy Their unions were almost spontaneous, despite her calendar. He remembered coming home, running up the stairs while tearing off his clothes to find Dee waiting for him on the bed, naked, her legs spread wide, grinning at him seductively. Yet, despite their efforts, she never became pregnant. After a few months the screwing became almost mechanical and they both realized that they would have to find out why a baby wasn't happening.

It didn't take long. Denise couldn't and would never be able to have children. She was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome and the likelihood of her becoming pregnant was extremely doubtful. She was devastated and was actually in shock for the next few weeks. She wouldn't discuss the situation with her Arch, shrieking for him to stop whenever he tried to discuss the problem. Arch tried to be as supportive as he could, giving her time to adjust, but it seemed that she was falling further into herself. She had requested a medical leave of absence from her job and spent the days sitting at home, staring out of the window. 

Arch needed someone to talk to and, with some trepidation, picked up the phone and called Debra, Dee's older sister. He knew that the girls had never really been all that close, Debra was about 8 years older and almost in a different generation, but Arch was desperate. He arranged to meet her for coffee the next morning.

Arch sat in the booth and watched Debra stride toward him. He smiled in spite of himself. Even in her late 30s she was a stunning woman. He was surprised that she was still unattached. Debra had lost Ken, her husband to another woman, almost 3 years ago. The fact that Ken divorced Deb only confirmed what Arch had always thought - he was a blithering idiot and she was well rid of him.

"Hiya Archy," smiled Deb. She knew that he hated that name, and it seemed that she was the only one that got away with using it. 

"Thanks for coming, Deb. I really need to talk to you about Denise." She noticed that with that remark the smile of greeting quickly vanished from his face.

"You don't have to explain, Arch. I know and I really don't know what to say or do. Denise is obviously going through her own hell and she is extremely depressed. I've spoken with her, but I know that I never really got through to her. Arch, I really believe that she needs professional help. You of all people should realize that, Why don't you talk with Bernie Green, you know how good he is." Debra concluded softly.

Arch nodded slowly. He knew she was right. Perhaps he just didn't want to face the fact that Dee really did need professional help. He had harbored the illusion that he condition was temporary and she would snap out of it soon. He knew he had been living on false hopes.

Arch smiled weakly and nodded. "You're right, as usual, Deb. That's exactly what I'm going to do. Now let's change the subject and have something to eat."

Arch had become close friends with the Chief of Psychiatry at the hospital where he worked. He called him and asked him to make time to see him if he could. Bernie told him to come up right after lunch - he had the afternoon free . 

Dr. Bernard Green was a giant of a man, about 45 years old and standing well over 6 feet. Despite his commanding presence, he was soft spoken and gentle as a lamb. Arch knew that Bernie had lost his wife a couple of years ago to cancer and had spent many hours with him, trying to console him. They had developed a close friendship and Bernie had become a welcome guest in the Meader household. Walking into his office, Arch smiled despite his concerns. Bernie had that effect - his wiry, iron gray hair sticking out in all directions and his smile broad and warm. He ambled over and took Arch by the arm and led him to a pair of armchairs in the corner of his office.

"Okay, Arch. I gather that this isn't exactly a social call. How can I help you," Dr. Green rumbled in his deep bass.

Arch hesitated and then he let it all pour out. It was almost cathartic, like a load had been lifted from his shoulders. It was the first time that he had the opportunity to release the morass of emotions that had been stored inside him and it left him breathless and limp. 

Bernie Green sat and listened and didn't interrupt, nodding his head at times, encouraging Arch to continue. There was a moment of silence and Arch reached for a tissue and wiped his eyes.

"What can I do, Bernie? How can I help her? Can you help her?" Arch pleaded, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Arch, she has to want to be helped. I can't do very much until she makes the decision to seek help. Once she reaches that point we can begin. I've told you this before, Arch. Psychiatry is far from an exact science; there's so much we don't know. Having said that, I'm sure that we can help Denise, when she is ready. In the meantime I can tell you how to help her now. Just love her, Arch. I know that it's not easy living with a depressive, her illness casts a pall wherever they happen to be.. It's your job to not let it affect how you feel and how you react toward her. Just love her, Arch," Bernie said softly to him.

Eventually Denise saw the wisdom of seeking the help that she knew she needed and her sessions with Bernie Green began. It took well over a year until she reached an understanding of her illness and the ability to cope with it. The medication prescribed also helped. Arch had taken Bernie's advice - he loved her and showed his love for her. He was supportive, kind and loving. Denise finally did turn to him and used his strength to recover her own.


Is Enough Really Enough? Ch. 02



(In order for this to make any sense, I would suggest that you read "Is Enough Really Enough" before starting this. I would like to thank the many readers who have emailed me with their comments. I would also like to express my appreciation to RPSuch and The Wanderer for their kind words and suggestions re. Is Enough Really Enough, especially since I'm an admirer of their work. I've incorporated some of their suggestions in this conclusion and I have also included a bit of dialogue that was written by RPSuch.)

********************

It didn't take Arch long. He had over two months of accumulated vacation time and this would be a perfect time to take off. He knew that his staff could hold down the fort while he was gone and it only took him about 15 minutes with Corporate to get them to give him the time off. They really couldn't complain; he had been putting in 12 hour days and many, many weekends overseeing the expansion of the medical center. They owed him the time and he was going to take it. It didn't take more than a few minutes to book a round trip, open end return, ticket on AA to Paris. From there he would rent a car and tour Europe for a few weeks, something that he always had in mind. Of course that dream had included Denise. The reality now was that he would be taking this trip alone.

He was honest enough with himself to know why this sudden decision. The news that Denise was engaged finally awakened him to the reality that he had to move on, to get out of the limbo in which he was entrenched. He had to get Denise out of his system. The problem was that he didn't know how to do that. She had attempted to contact him countless times during that first year, but he had rebuffed all of her efforts. He had refused telephone calls from her. He had discarded letters unread. He felt he had been hurt enough and vowed, enough was enough. 

He didn't want to hear her excuses or explanations. He had had it. Easier said than done though. He was shocked at how the news of her engagement hurt. "Damn," he thought, "I still really love her, but I'm not going to put myself through that anguish again. Never again." He reached for the intercom and asked Gail, his girl Friday, to find Alec and Norman. He wanted to see them ASAP.

Fifteen minutes later, his two executive assistants were seated before him listening to him tell them that they were now in charge and would be for the next month or two. Alec Baldwin was Finance and Norman Burrows was Administration and Marketing

They looked at him in astonishment for a moment. "Jeez, Arch," complained Alec. "Thanks for the heads up. All of this with no warning? You couldn't have let us ease into this?" Norm, looking concerned, nodded in agreement.

Arch looked at both of them steadily for a few moments. "Are you two telling me that you can't handle the job? What the fuck have you been doing for the past few years? I have been riding shotgun and letting the two of you actually run this place for the last year. Now you're telling me you need a warning to continue to do what you've been doing? Is that what you're telling me? You guys need a nanny?" Arch was relentless and biting.

"No, no, Arch," interjected Norm. It isn't that at all. You may think that you've been letting us run the show, but it's with the knowledge that you were always here that gave us that confidence. We can do the job, it's just that this is such a surprise. God knows you need a break, so don't worry. Just let us bitch a little." Alec smiled wryly and nodded his agreement.

Arch returned the smile. "That's better. I'm confident that you guys won't run the ship aground. So do your bitching later and somewhere else. I'm actually leaving as soon you the both of you get your asses out of the door. I don't want to hear about any emergencies. If any come up, just handle it; I won't be available. 

Arch had already spoken to Gail and had appointed her Asst. Administrator, working under both Norman and Alec. She would prove to be invaluable to them. He took a long look around, picked up his briefcase and walked out of his office and out of the building.

********************

Denise Meader was sitting quietly in an easy chair in her apartment, trying to get into the novel she had begun more than once. She suddenly put the book down and moved to the window. The blaze of autumn colors brought a smile to her face. The trees were afire with bright colors - reds, oranges and yellows. Denise sadly also knew that they were a harbinger of winter, when the leaves would be gone and the trees bare. The ring of the phone startled her and she looked down at the instrument, debating whether to even answer it. Wearily she picked up the handset and said, "Hello."

"Dee? Holy shit, have you seen the paper today? Denise, are you listening to me? Get the damn paper and open it to the Society section; you're gonna pee in your pants." Denise's sister sounded almost giddy with laughter.

"Deb, will you calm down. What are you yammering about?"

"Dee, just look at the photo in the Society section of the damn paper. I'll hold on - just take a look."

Denise put the phone down and moved to the table where she had placed the paper without opening it. Flipping through to the Society section she saw the picture and gasped, her mind going blank for a moment. Rushing back to the phone, she exclaimed, "Deb, what are they doing. I don't even know this guy. He was introduced to me as Trevor Messenger and we stood and chatted for a few moments. That was it, period. What the hell is going on?"

Debra was still chuckling. "They screwed up, Dee. Trevor is the twin brother of Nigel Messenger, whose engagement to Sue Callas, was announced. The photographer saw him and I guess he thought that Trevor was Nigel and he assumed you were Sue. Shit, this is a riot. You're going to be famous for awhile, Dee," Debra laughed.

"I don't see what's so funny, Deb. This is going to be a royal pain in the ass and is going to cause me grief at work. I have to call the paper and get them to print a retraction and I'm going to do that right now." Debra could tell that her sister was angry and upset.

"No need, Dee. I just got off the phone with them. They apologized and promised to print a correction in tomorrow's edition, so don't get too steamed. 

******************** 

Arch parked his car in his underground parking slot and took the elevator to his floor. He was unlocking his door when he saw Cal Murray pokng his head out of the door of his unit next door. "Arch, you ok? It's early for you."

Cal was a retired widower. He had worked for the city government for over 40 years and had, unfortunately, lost his wife to cancer approximately four years previously. Arch and he had become fast friends and had shared many a bottle of cold beer while bullshitting the night away. Arch had quite a fond spot for Cal; he found him to be intelligent and empathetic, rare qualities these days.

"Cal, came on in and I'll give you the news as I pack. A lot has happened today and I've made some important decisions. You'll be interested in this. Grab a couple of beers from the fridge and bring them into the bedroom."

Cal did as he was asked and was a bit surprised to see the that Arch had pulled down two large suitcases from the closet. They were now on the bed and Arch was beginning to pack clothing quickly and efficiently.

"Okay, buddy. You want to tell me what's going on? Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Cal asked quietly as he handed Arch a beer.

Arch grabbed the bottle and took a quick sip. "Cal, I'm finally getting up off my ass and doing something about my life. I'm taking time off and flying to Paris this evening. There I'm going to rent a car and tour the continent for a few weeks. I've been wanting to do that with Denise for years and now's the time, buddy, even if it's by myself."

Cal looked at him steadily. "Sounds like a plan, Arch. Of course this has nothing to do with that picture in the paper today of Denise and her fiancé, right?"

It was as if Arch had received a blow to the solar plexus. He blanched and sat down heavily on the bed. He looked up at Cal and different emotions rushed through him: anger, embarrassment, grief. "Shit, it's that obvious?" He stood suddenly and confronted his friend.

"Whatever the reason, Cal, I'm going. I need a change regardless of anything. I need to get away, see new things, experience different lands and different cultures - anything to help me get my life back. I just don't want to be around here now - I just want to get away."

Cal smiled and walked over to Arch and patted him on the shoulder. He pushed him down and Arch found himself seated again on the bed. Cal then walked over to the chair a few feet away and seated himself, turned to Arch and put his hand up, indicating silence.

"Arch, I'm your friend and we have been close buddies for awhile, ever since you moved into this place over three years ago. If we weren't then I wouldn't be saying what I'm going to say to you. I think you're making a big mistake. I think you're being a coward, that you're just running away with your tail between your legs. I also think that you know very well what you should be doing, but the only thing really stopping you is your foolish pride. Your feelings have been hurt and like a little boy you're picking up your marbles and running away." Cal paused a moment as he saw anger flash over Arch's features.

"No, no, don't interrupt me now, Arch. It's so damn obvious that you are still crazy about your ex-wife and the only thing preventing you from trying to reconcile is your damn pride. Well, it may very well be too late now. It looks like she has found someone with whom to share her life, but instead of finding out if this is what she really wants, you just run away. I thought that you had more backbone then that." Cal finished and gazed at his friend.

Arch had almost let his anger overwhelm him, but controlled himself in time. He smiled ruefully at Cal. "Why don't you say what you really mean, Cal. Why beat around the bush," he chucked. "But it's really not my pride, pal, although some of that may be true.

"Cal, you just don't know what the last years with Denise had been like. This really isn't about her momentary lapse of judgement, it really isn't about her romp in that bed with some other guy, although that certainly is part of it. It just an accumulation of years of having to be patient, understanding, compassionate, etc. etc. etc. My well had run dry, Cal. Do you understand what I'm saying? I had nothing left to give. I realized that I had been living in a loveless marriage for longer than I wanted to. I had nothing left, Cal. I was being squeezed dry. Call me a prick, call me a louse, maybe you'd be right, but I had wanted out even before I caught her in bed with someone else.

"You're right, of course. I still do love here and I guess I always will, but not at the cost of my own sanity." Arch laughed quietly. "I love her but I can't live with her. Now that's quite a conundrum, one that will be with me for a long time, I guess. I'm glad that she's found someone, Cal. I really am. Maybe he can make her happy, I certainly couldn't. I'm not just running away because my feelings are hurt, buddy. I'm running away because I just want to - it's as simple as that. I need to get away, I need a vacation, a change of scenery. Maybe I can come back with a clearer head, or just maybe I won't come back at all. Who knows."

Cal just shook his head and rose to his feet. "Okay, Arch. I had my say, you do what you feel you have to - it's your life. I still think that you're making a mistake, but I do wish you well and I hope that you can get your head straightened out. C'mon, I'll help you pack and then I'll drive you to the airport, buddy."

********************

That evening saw Arch Meader on a 747 winging over the Atlantic on the first step of his journey. He had elected to go first class despite the cost and he was comfortable in a large aisle seat. He had nodded to his seat mate, noticing that she was a well-dressed woman who appeared to be in her mid 30s. He settled himself in his seat and was soon engrossed in the paperback novel he had purchased in the terminal. 

A few hours into the flight he wearied of reading and closed the book, marking his page. A soft voice murmured beside him. "I understand that's an excellent book. It was recommended to me, but I've never gotten around to reading it. It looks like you're enjoying it." 

Arch was a bit startled, but he gathered himself together and smiled at his companion. This time his gaze was more careful and he was impressed. She was trim with dark hair and eyes. She wore a light colored lipstick and he could detect very little other makeup, although he was aware of a faint but exotic fragrance. She had on a tailored pair of dark slacks and a loose, scoop necked sweater which she filled out quite nicely.

"It really is," replied Arch. "It was recommended to me awhile ago and I when I saw it at the book kiosk in the terminal I figured that this would be the perfect time for it." Arch smiled and extended his hand. "By the way, my name is Arch Meader."

She smiled back and said as she took his hand, "It's nice to meet you, Arch. My name is Claudette Jourdan. Is this trip business or pleasure?"

Arch's answer was a bit noncommital and they spent the next few hours chatting and learning a bit about each other, neither getting too personal. It appeared that Claudette was a widow. She had lost her husband in a fatal auto accident approximately two years ago and then had gone on to explain that they had been high school sweethearts and had graduated college together in 1985. Arch was shocked to realize that Claudette must actually be around 43 or 44 years old - she appeared much younger. He also discovered that she was an attorney, just beginning to practice again, was born in France and had emigrated with her parents to the United States as a young teenager.

Arch found Claudette to be an intelligent as well as a very attractive seat companion and the time flew by quickly. She had a sharp and penetrating wit and was obviously well educated and well read. He could tell that she was curious about his vague answers as to the purpose of this trip, but did not pursue that topic further. They were both a bit shocked to hear on the loudspeaker a notice that they were approaching their destination and to fasten seatbelts.

"I'll be darned," Arch exclaimed. "I can't believe that the flight is almost over. Thank you, Claudette. I've really enjoyed our conversation and I wonder if you could recommend a hotel in Paris. As I had mentioned, I've never been here before."

Iris looked at him for a moment before replying. "I will be staying at the Les Jardins du Marais, Arch. I can recommend it highly. It is in the center of Paris and is convenient to almost everything. The restaurant at the hotel is quite good also."

"Thanks, Claudette. That sounds fine; perhaps we could share a cab to the hotel and if I'm not too presumptuous, may I ask that you be my guest for dinner this evening. I really would like to show my appreciation for your company during the flight."

Claudette smiled slightly and nodded. "I would like that, Arch. Why not give my room a call and we can set a time."

Arch sat back, quite pleased with himself. Being seated next to such an attractive woman was certainly fortuitous and he thought that he had handled himself well. Well enough to have gotten a date for dinner tonight, he smiled. Claudette intrigued him. He certainly wanted to learn more about this widow.

Claudette, on the other hand, had conflicting thoughts. She was quite aware that she had just met this man and had already accepted a dinner invitation from him. Not only that, she had recommended her hotel to him, an action that she now wondered about. Claudette had really not gotten into the dating scene since the demise of her husband. The few dates that she had accepted were from family friends, men with whom she felt "safe." Arch did intrigue her. He was certainly good looking and quite articulate. It was also rather apparent that he had something going on in his life that he was reluctant to share. Perhaps it was that which intrigued her.

Claudette mentally shrugged her shoulders and put her concerns aside. After all, it was just dinner, she certainly wasn't planning on anything even remotely romantic happening.

********************

Dr. Bernard Green walked wearily through his front door, exhausted after a day too long spent in listening to other people's problems, real or imagined. He again wondered why he choose this specialty and why he continued with it. If he was pressed for an answer, he would have realized that people and their aberrant behavior were a continued source of fascination for him. 

All that aside, he was tired after an "emergency" call from a patient he had been seeing for years, despite attempt after attempt to convince her that there was little more he could do for her. This the reason for his late arrival at home. Well, at least he had the presence of mind to call his wife. He had also been wondering, after discovering later that day, why Arch had so suddenly decided to take a vacation. It was so unlike him to act so precipitately. He didn't get Arch's message until well into the afternoon. 

"Hello, Dr. Shrink. Did you cure any loonies today?" laughed Debra as she rose from the living room chair and kissed him. "I held dinner for you, honey."

"Deb, please. You know how I hate when you call them that. These are decent people with real problems. Bernie protested.

"I know, dear. I'm sorry. Sometimes it's just easier to laugh them off, but I do know that your heart aches for so many of them." Debra held him close to her for a moment. "C'mon, big guy. Let's have some dinner and then I have a surprise for you. It'll give you a laugh."

They had a pleasant meal together, easily slipping into the their relatively new relationship of husband and wife. Bernie again just gazed at Debra, knowing how lucky he was to find such a beautiful and loving woman. After dinner he helped Debra with the dishes and they then took another glass of wine and relaxed in the living room. Debra then handed Bernie the Society section of the newspaper.

"Honey, take a look at this. I'm sure that your jaw will drop," Deb said with a grin as she handed him the paper.

Bernie's jaw did indeed drop as he saw the photograph and read the caption. He turned to his wife, "Deb, when the hell did this happen? I had no idea that Denise was even seeing anyone, let alone starting a relationship. Is this for real?"

Debra laughed at his question. "Not real, honey. The paper screwed up. Dee doesn't even know this guy, it was all just a mix-up. I called them earlier in the day, they will print a correction tomorrow."

Bernie became quiet and thoughtful for a moment. Debra noticed his the change in her husband and knew him well enough now to realize that he had something serious on his mind. "Okay, Bernie, what's up. Why the frown?"

Bernie looked up and hesitated for a moment before speaking. "Honey, Arch suddenly, almost without warning, left for an extended vacation today. He left a message for me but I didn't get it until later in the day. It really had me wondering, and now I think I know the reason for his decision."

Bernie paused, looking meaningfully at Deb. She looked at him wide-eyed, realizing the implication of what he had just said. "You actually think that Arch saw this and then ran? You really think that this picture precipitated this sudden "vacation?" 

Bernie pondered the question for a moment and nodded his head. "Yeah, that's exactly what I believe. Look, Deb. Let's not kid ourselves. We both know that Arch is still deeply in love with Denise, but has refused, for over 3 years now, any communication with her. She can't get him to talk to her and he returns all of her letters unopened. I can just imagine how this information must have hit him."




Is Enough Really Enough? Ch. 02



"Bullshit, Bernie," Deb exploded. "We both know what Arch's problem is - it's his stupid pride. If he would just be reasonable, their relationship could have been salvaged, but he just refused any attempt. Bernie, we both see how Denise has changed. This whole mess, her stupid and very brief affair as well as his heart attack, has really changed Dee. You know that, honey - she's a different person now. This is the sister that I used to know and love, not the depressive and moody one she had become."

Bernie sat there shaking his head, disagreeing. "No, Deb. Denise is not the person you once knew, either when you were both young or during the last decade. The Denise of today is a different person, honey. No one can go through what she has experienced and be the same. I'm not really sure that Dee really knows who she yet. She's growing and learning. It's just a pity that Arch isn't here to guide her, but I suspect that your sister is a much wiser and much more mature person.

"As for Arch's pride, there may be some truth to that, but I suspect not much. You know that Arch is not a prideful person, he wouldn't let that interfere with what he thought he should do. It goes much deeper, Deb. You really have to give him credit for how he had tried to be there for Denise during all those years. He was kind, compassionate and totally empathetic. I believe that he just doesn't want to go through that trauma again - in fact, I believe those were his words, but I also strongly suspect that the news of Dee's "engagement" triggered his flight. Whether he knows it or not, he can't get over her and he's running. Damn, if only he had learned the truth, I'm certain that he'd still be here."

Bernie suddenly turned to his wife. "Deb, we have to find him, we have to find out where he's going. Arch is a very sensible and pragmatic person, I'm not afraid he'll do something stupid, but he's very vulnerable right now. I really have this feeling that he should be found and told the truth, and sooner rather than later."

Debra, now concerned, looked to her husband for guidance. "How, Bernie. How the hell do we track him down? I'm sure that he left no itinerary."

Bernie thought for a moment and then grinned. "It's good to have a lot of contacts, Deb. I think I know just who to call," as he reached for the phone.

*********************

Claudette Jourdan stood in front of the mirror in her hotel room, a frown on her face, wondering what on earth she was doing. She had taken the new, little black cocktail dress with her for special occasions. She again wondered - is this really a special occasion? She had forgotten how thin it was. Damn, she was sure her panty line could be seen, but she was damned if she would go sans panties. There was almost no back to the dress and the so called built in bra couldn't hold up the boobs of a 12 year old. She had no choice tho - with that back she just could not wear a bra. She would just have to be very careful not to bounce too much and she giggled with that thought.

She shook her head in mild frustration and again wondered why she was making such an effort. She had just met the man on the plane. He was a virtual stranger, yet she had let him accompany her to the hotel and had accepted a dinner invitation. She knew that this was strange behavior for her and she wondered why she was so obviously attracted to this Arch Meader. Yes, he was good looking, intelligent and articulate, but so were so many of the men back home. Why this Arch Meader?, she wondered.

She again examined herself in the mirror and smiled faintly. "Well," she again thought, "he'll get to see a bit more of me than he expected."

When Claudette walked into the dining room almost every eye in the place became fixed upon her, male and female. Arch stood quickly and almost made a fool of himself, gaping at this vision walking toward him. He immediately noticed the sway of her breasts and knew that they were unconfined. He was again struck by her dark beauty and her flashing eyes.

"Claudette, you almost take my breath away, you look ravishing. I hope that I'm not too bold?" Arch said softly as she came near.

Claudette smiled up at him and darn if she didn't blush a bit. She felt her face grow warm and was again struck by the sudden rush of emotion at his words. "Damn it," she thought. "I feel like a school girl."

They had a leisurely meal and chatted like as if they had not just met that day. While the conversation was lively and far ranging, very little was divulged of a personal nature. Claudette did discover that Arch was divorced and he went no further in that direction, but she was perceptive enough to recognize that this was a man who was still in pain. She saw it in his eyes when the topic finally came up. 

"The meal was delicious, Claudette. Thank you for recommending the hotel and this wonderful dining room. May I suggest a nightcap in the lounge? I would hate to have this evening end so quickly," Arch pleaded.

Claudette agreed and they strolled slowly to the small lounge off the dining room. A trio of piano, bass and guitar was playing old American standards on a small stage and Arch and Claudette found a small table near the entrance. After ordering, Arch asked Claudette if she would like to join two other couples on the small dance floor and she smiled and rose with him.

She shivered slightly as she felt his touch on the bare skin of her back. She was also aware of the almost imperceptible stiffening of her nipples. Claudette was flustered and confused. She just did not recognize the signals that her body was sending - it had been so long. Arch was a good dancer and her led her effortlessly. As one song ended another began and they stayed on the dance floor, but the distance between them had closed and she now had her cheek against his. She now felt her panties begin to dampen and when the song ended she drew away from Arch and suggested a time out.

By the time they had seated themselves at the small table, Claudette had finally become quite aware of what was happening to her, but it was with a bit of wonder that it was this man that her body was reacting to, a man she had just met. She had not felt this level of desire since before her husband had died. She looked over the rim of her glass at Arch and examined his features again. True, he was good looking, handsome in fact, but the fact that this was a good man, a man of integrity and kindness that attracted her to him so strongly. She knew that she felt no real love, but she was honest enough with herself to admit that her body sure lusted for him.

Making up her mind quickly, Claudette rose suddenly from the table, and taking Arch's hand in hers, she guided him out of the lounge and to the elevator. "Arch, it has been a delightful evening and I agree with you - let's not end it quite yet. Please escort me to my room and......." she hesitated and looked up at him with a small provocative smile on her lips.

Arch was no fool, he knew when to hold them and when to fold them, and he also knew that this was a hand worth holding. He bent swiftly and brought his lips to her in a soft, brief kiss. Talking her hand he tucked it into his arm and they took the elevator to her room.

Entering, Claudette turned to Arch and put her arms around his nect, whispering in his ear. "Arch, slowly, gently, please. It's been a long time. A very long time."

Arch held her and moved his lips to her neck, nuzzling the soft flesh there, enjoying the salty taste of her. "I know, dear. Slowly, gently - of course. I understand," he murmured as he eased the dress from her shoulders. He gasped as her breasts came into view, not overly large but with erect, pink nipples surrounded by small areolas. He also saw the faint goose pimples that had formed due to the sudden chill of the room. He quickly shed his suit jacket and ripped the tie from his shirt. Taking Claudette again in his arms he kissed her lips, her mouth allowing entry to his tongue, darting, exploring, tasting.

The moved almost by instinct to the bed where Arch gently lowered her. As Claudette scooted further back, she reached down and removed the brief panties. During that time Arch had divested himself of pants, shirt and socks. Clad only in short boxers, he joined her in the bed, enveloping her nude form in his arms again.

"Arch, take those damn shorts off," Claudette giggled. "If I'm going to be naked, you sure as hell are too." He chucked quietly and quickly pulled his shorts down his legs and off. As he did he had his eyes fixed on that treasure between her thighs. He was fascinated by the neat triangle of black public hair faintly covering the lips of her pussy. He saw the beads of moisure that had seeped from her vagina and knew that she was aroused and without need for extensive foreplay. 

Despite that awareness, Arch bent and kissed the soft thighs before him. Tracing his tongue softly along the crease between her thigh and her groin, he caught the aroma of her arousal. He blew gently on the soft hairs of her vulva and heard her gasp. Her legs slowly opened causing the lips of her pussy to spread slightly, showing the coral of the moist flesh and the small bud at the apex of that magical valley. His tongue suddenly flicked at that small bud and he heard Claudette gasp again and then groan as her body flexed and then tensed and froze as a huge orgasm overtook her.

Claudette came down slowly from that high plateau and reached for Arch, bringing him up to her. Disregarding the wetness of his mouth from her juices, she kissed him passionately and then whispered, "My God, Arch. That was so mind blowing, so wonderful. It's been so long..... so long," her voice faltered and she held him close. 

Arch smiled, gratified that he was able to bring such pleasure to such a wonderful woman. He then felt her shift her position and was again between her legs, but this time nose to nose and toes to toes. "Claudette, I have no protection," he said softly. "No need, Arch, no need. I can't become pregnant and I know that we're healthy, I just know," she whispered. His very erect and throbbing phallus was at the entrance to her pussy and he felt her take hold of him and guide him into her. She was so wet that he slid in, enjoying how snug and warm it felt. 

It didn't take long before Claudette again exploded in a massive orgasm, this time keening aloud which caused Arch to tense as he reached his own climax, Exhausted, they fell asleep in each others arms, ignoring the soft light of the room and the covers of the bed. 

It was in the early hours of the next day and dawn had broken over the city when Claudette shook Arch softly, whispering, "Arch, move, I've got to pee right now or you're going to get soaked." He shifted and let her run to the bathroom. Arch rolled over on his back, smiling at the memory of the previous night. "Boy, coming on this trip was sure the right thing to do," he thought. "Talk about fortuitous," he mused.

"Arch, Arch," he heard Claudette call. "Come on in here. I've got a wonderful idea. C'mon, Arch, quickly." 

Arch groaned and rolled off of the bed. Stumbling into the bathroom, he saw Claudette in the huge, glass enclosed shower. She grinned at him and said, "Look, Arch. Look at the size of this thing. Let's take a shower together. Please????" she coaxed.

Arch smiled at her and said, "Okay, honey, but first I've got to relieve myself and I have to do it right now or else......"

"Go ahead, I won't mind," and she grinned again. "I'd love to watch. It's really fascinating, you know." She stood there and watched closely as Arch emptied his bladder and then flushed the toilet. He then turned and joined her in the shower. It didn't take long before they were doing more playing and touching than actual washing, but they got clean anyway. Arch loved running his soapy hands over Claudette smooth skin, feeling the give of her breasts and the firmness of her ass. He made sure that the triangle of hair covering her pussy was well lathered and heard her squeal as his fingers glided over her rear door. 

She in turn was no less daring, lathering him all over, but paying especial attention to his cock, which was now standing stiffly at attention. She stroked it often, fascinated at the smoothness of the organ and the angry, red color of the crown. Arch finally muttered, "Sweetie, we had better stop now, I've got a better location in mind," and with that he made sure that they were well rinsed before he turned off the water. Grabbing the large, fluffy white towels they hurriedly dried themselves before racing each other to the bed.

"Arch?" whispered Claudette. "Arch, can I get on top? I don't want you to think I'm too wanton," and she then grinned delightfully.

Arch laughed aloud. "Honey, be my guest, Let yourself go."

Claudette then threw a leg over him and sat, her vulva just north of his straining phallus. Arch saw a gleam in her eyes, yet a faint hesitation also. She then started to move her hips slowly up, stopping and hesitating again. He could see that she was a bit nervous and he decided to help. Taking her hips in his hands he brought her up to the proper position. Then, placing his arms and hands under her, he coaxed her forward until her pussy was over his mouth. Pulling her hips gently down, he mashed his mouth into her vulva, forcing his tongue between her lips.

Claudette tensed briefly and then allowed a soft moan to escape her. Placing her hands on the headboard of the bed, she started to grind her pudenda into his face. She then quickly released the headboard, reached down and grabbed two fistfuls of his hair. Moaning, whimpering, she rode his mouth until she again tensed, froze and let the waves of her orgasm overtake her.

As the force of her orgasm subsided, she caught her breath and moved down, lying atop her lover. She felt his erection against her lower belly and reveled that she was able to excite and inflame this man. It took just a slight movement to allow the head of his cock to slip between her nether lips. Rising slightly, Claudette adjusted her hips again and he slid easily into her. She rose to a sitting position and began to slowly ride him, allowing his cock to slide effortlessly in and out of her warm, wet love canal

Arch held her hips and gently guided her movements. It didn't take long; after about five minutes Arch could feel his self control slipping. His fingers dug into the flesh of her hips as he thrust his cock deeply into her. Claudette could feel it begin to swell and throb and that brought on her own orgasm. Gasping and clutching each other they both felt their breathing return to normal, and then Claudette slipped to the side and into Arch's waiting arms. They cuddled silently together, each with their own thoughts.

Arch lay there with Claudette nestled in his arm, close to him. He realized that his thoughts were chaotic, at best. He felt a bit bewildered, so much had happened in such a short period of time. He had just met Claudette a few hours ago, and yet, in many way he felt that they had known each other for a lifetime. Arch delved deeply into his emotions and wondered about his feelings for this glorious creature. He was no fool, he knew that while this woman had briefly filled the cavity in his heart, she was really not the answer. This was an interlude, a wonderful one, one that he would always look back on with affection and pleasure; but he knew that there was no future for them. He only prayed that he hadn't sent the wrong signals to Claudette. The last thing in the world he wanted was to hurt this sweet woman. 

Claudette turned to Arch, raising herself up on an elbow. She placed her hand on his face and turned it to her. Smiling sweetly she murmured, "Thank you, Arch Meader. Thank you for your kindness, your understanding and your wonderful ability to please your partner. It's been so long for me, and I want to thank you for helping me get on with my life. I knew that I had been shutting myself away, still in grief. You opened me, Arch. No pun intended," she laughed softly. "You'll always have a piece of my heart and I hope that you will remember me fondly," she whispered as she bent to kiss him softly.

"Listen to me, dear Arch, Much of the pain that you carry with you is of your own making. I don't know the details of the destruction of your marriage, but it's glaringly obvious that you are still in love with your lady. Sweet, dear Arch - do something about it. You're too good a man to spend the rest of your life suffering.

"And now," Claudette continued, "I have to shower again and get moving. I have friends I had planned to meet. Wait until I'm out of the shower and then it's all yours." She grinned, "no sharing this time, Arch. We'll never get going then."

Arch had not said a word, but his relief was palpable. Thank goodness, no regrets. His mind seized on her words - there was no doubt, he certainly would remember her fondly. She was a special lady. As to her advice, he was torn. Down deep he knew that she was correct, but the fear of going through that kind of anguish again truly frightened him. Who was Denise now? Had she really changed and if so, how was she changed? Arch shook his head. Now wasn't the time for this kind of introspection.

********************

"Bernie, Cal Miller here. We've located your boy and are keeping tabs on him. Let's see.... he left Paris and is headed for Bastogne in Belgium and then on to Amsterdam. He made reservations at The Golden Tulip, that's in the historic district. He rented a car which required him to leave an itinerary. Kind of made the job a snap."

"Cal, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. I owe you one, big time. Thanks buddy," gushed Dr.Bernie Green.

"Yeah, yeah. Just remember, Bernie. I put my ass on the line for you. They don't look kindly on us using government resources for private purposes, but I know that I owe you big. My wife is a different person thanks to you, but let's not make this a habit, ok?"

Bernie grimaced in embarrassment. "I understand, Cal and thanks again. You really do have my appreciation."

Terminating the conversation, Bernie turned to his wife and said with satisfaction, "Bingo, Deb. I know where Arch is, or at least where he's headed."

"Great, Bernie. Now arrange for a few days off and get yourself an airline ticket." Debra paused briefly in thought and continued, "Bernie, I want you to take a letter from Denise with you. He has never given her a chance to say anything about their breakup - she deserves to have him at least read a few sentences from her."

Bernie paused and then said, "Okay, Deb. But make it fast and tell Dee not to write a book. Keep it brief."

Three days later Bernie Green arrived in Amsterdam and had checked into The Golden Tulip. He had ascertained that Arch was indeed expected in the late afternoon of that day. After unpacking his lone suitcase, Bernie took a quick shower and reclined on the bed. He opened the book he had been reading and made himself comfortable awaiting the arrival of his friend.

Two hours later Bernie picked up the phone and inquired about Arch's arrival again. He was told that Arch had indeed arrived and they could ring him if he desired. 

"Bernie? Is that actually you, Bernie? How the hell did you know where I was?" exclaimed Arch hearing his friend's voice.

"Arch, don't get so excited. I'm actually checked in at the same hotel. Just tell me your room number and I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

Arch shook his head in puzzlement and gave Bernie the room number. Sure enough, about 5 minutes later there was a knock at his door. After embracing each other, Arch stood back and confronted his colleague. "Okay, pal. What the hell is going on? Is everything ok back home? There's nothing wrong, is there?"

"No, no, Arch. Everything is ok, no need to be concerned. Listen, let's sit down. I need to talk to you and straighten some things out: but before I do, let me ask you a question, and please, Arch, don't bullshit me. I want you to be honest. Okay?"




Is Enough Really Enough? Ch. 02



Arch's eyes narrowed a bit, but he allowed his friend some latitude. "Okay, Bernie. Ask away, but I'm not guaranteeing you any answers."

Bernie looked steadily at Arch. "Truth, Arch. I want you to tell me the truth. What precipitated this sudden "vacation?" It's a simple question; now give me an honest answer."

Arch hesitated and then shrugged. "Why not," he thought. "Bernie probably knows anyway."

Arch looked across at his friend. "Okay, Bernie. I'm sure that you already know the answer to that question. I saw that Dee was engaged to be married and I just wanted to get the hell away. Nothing mysterious about that. She has gone on with her life, and I thought that a nice long trip would help me get on with mine. "

Bernie felt his heart go out to Arch. "Arch, please listen. That picture and the caption was a screw-up by the paper. Denise isn't engaged, she doesn't even know that guy. The photographer screwed up, it's as simple as that."

Arch sat there, dumbfounded. This was information that was at first difficult for him to comprehend. "Dee not engaged?" he thought. "She's not getting married?" he asked Bernie? "It was a mix-up?"

"Yes, Arch. The paper screwed up and printed a correction the next day. Everyone had a good laugh about it, except for Dee. She was quite perturbed, to say the least."

Bernie then took a small envelop from his pocket. "Arch, I want you to do me a favor, a big one. Listen carefully, Arch. This is a short note from Denise. You really never gave her the opportunity to talk to you after the breakup, she deserves at least that. I want you to read this, Arch. Don't tell me that it's none of my business, damn it. It is, we're family now as well as colleagues. Just please read the damn thing, Arch. It won't take you more than a couple of minutes," Bernie pleaded.

Arch sighed in resignation and nodded. He held out his hand and Bernie passed him the pale blue envelope. He slowly extracted a sheet of stationary on which was written a short paragraph from Denise.

Dear Arch I'm not asking for anything from you. I just want to tell you that I realize the incredible efforts you put into supporting me, efforts which I ignored because I was self absorbed in my, not our, personal tragedy of not being able to have children. I'm deeply sorry for letting those efforts go in vain. I'm even sorrier for the pain you must have felt when I ignored your gifts. You're a very good man. You were a wonderful husband. My only hope is that you find someone to make you even a fraction as happy as I should have been with you. God bless you. Love Dee 

********************

The last of the autumn leaves had fallen, the trees stark and bare. A brief flurry of snow had begun, but had not amounted to much, it just left everything feeling chilled and dank. Arch was back in his office, despite it being a Saturday afternoon. It had been two months since his return from Europe. Events had curtailed his "vacation" a bit. He was comfortable resuming his duties, but his mind often seemed elsewhere.

For a man as resolute as Arch, it was completely frustrating for him not to be able to come to a decision. Actually, he had come to a decision quite awhile ago, now he needed the courage to follow through. He suddenly turned from the window, sat at his desk and picked up the phone.

Forty minutes later Arch was standing by an apartment door. He knocked softly and the door was almost immediately opened. Denise was standing there, pale and a bit frightened and unsure. She was wearing a simple blouse and a knee length skirt. She had on very little make-up, just a bit of pale lipstick. Her hair looked freshly brushed.

"Arch........Arch....please....come in," she stammered.

Arch seemed frozen for a moment. This was the first time he had seen his ex-wife in over three years. She appeared thinner, she had obviously lost weight, yet despite that, despite the uncertainty evident, he sensed a aura of calmness, of serenity, about her. 

Arch entered the small apartment, noticing how everything was clean and neat and well organized. It had a homey, lived in ambience though - a few books were scattered about and a throw was tossed over the arm of the sofa. The place looked very comfortable.

"Hello, Denise. You're looking well........ah, thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I appreciate that."

Denise appeared a bit flustered, his call and his presence was throwing her for a loop. This was something that she had never anticipated. "That's okay, Arch....... I........ it's just that I never expected this. Oh, please..... sit down. Here, Arch. This chair is very comfortable. Can I get you a drink? I don't have beer, but I do have some fresh iced tea, would that be ok?"

Denise felt herself becoming even more flustered and chided herself and forced herself to calm down. "Sorry about babbling, Arch. It's just that this is so unexpected. To be truthful, I never expected to see you again," she said softly, her eyes wide, the uncertainty evident.

Arch remained standing, shifting his weight from leg to leg. He knew that this would be awkward, he just didn't realize that it would be this difficult.

"Uhh, Denise, I'm sorry..... I know this is sudden......uh, quite a surprise in fact. Look, if this is too uncomfortable for you, I will certainly understand. It was thoughtless of me to spring myself on you like this,...... without any warning. I can come back at a more..... opportune time," Arch tried to control himself as his voice broke.

"NO, NO, Oh, no, Arch. Please stay, please. Come, sit down. I'm not at all uncomfortable. It will be fine, it will. A drink, Arch? Can I get you a drink? I have some gin I think and I know that I have a couple of bottles of bitter lemon. I can make us a couple of drinks. Is that ok, Arch?"

Arch sat and nodded and smiled. That used to be their favorite drink. "That sounds fine, Dee. I think that would be just fine."

Denise quickly made the drinks, thanking the gods that she had the ice maker in the fridge fixed just the day before. She handed Arch his drink, picked up hers and sat on the couch. Arch lifted his glass to her and they sipped.

They both tried to speak at the same time not once, not twice, but three times. They both then remained quiet for a moment and then Arch grinned and tried to suppress his laughter. Denise saw his mirth and just let go, let herself laugh as she had not done in years. Arch joined her and they exhausted themselves after a few moments.

Arch finally said, "thank goodness for that, Dee. It was getting to be a bit uncomfortable there for awhile." He paused and looked at her. "You know, it's really good to see you - you are looking very well."

Denise wiped her eyes and smiled at him. "Thanks, Arch. I can say the same. I'm so happy that you're here - I never thought that would happen." Denise looked at him, a question in her eyes and continued. "There is really no reason why we can't be friends, Arch - is there? We can visit and be....... friends......?" Her voice faltered.

Arch shook his head. "I don't want that, Denise. I've been doing a lot of serious thinking these past few months and asking myself some questions that have been difficult for me to answer. But, while it did take me some time, I finally came to some conclusions." Arch then rose and sat next to Denise on the sofa. 

Taking her hand in his he continued. "Dee, I don't want to be just friends. I do want to be your friend, but also your lover, your confidant, your husband again. I deserted you once, Dee. I promise, I'll never let that happen again. Will you take me back?"

Denise sat, frozen, her mouth agape. Was this some cruel joke? Was this a dream? It took her a few seconds to recognize the reality of the moment. She looked up at Arch, the disbelief in her eyes slowly changing to utter joy. "Oh, Arch........" and she choked and couldn't speak. She felt the tears start, gently flowing down her cheeks. She threw herself into his arms and clutched him to her.

"Oh, Arch. Hold me, just hold me and never, never let me go. I have so much to make up for, for all of the stupidity, for all of the pain I have caused you, for all............"

"Shush, shush, Dee. No recriminations, no regrets. Let this be a new start for both of us, a new beginning, a brand new life," Arch said gently as he held her closely to him.

The threat of flurries had materialized and was now a thick but gentle snowfall, blanketing the ground. It wasn't long before everything was covered in a mantle of pristine white, camouflaging the detritus of fall. A fading season had ended and a new one begun; a season of rest, of recovery and discovery.

THE END 



Is Enough Really Enough? My Tale



This story was written with the grateful permission of Blue88, and is an alternative version of events that he laid out in part one of his story. I read the second part and, while I was OK with the reconciliation, I didn't like how Arch turned into an apologist when he was the injured party. I felt that since he'd put up with a lot from Dee over the last 12 years of his marriage he didn't have any love left for her after catching her cheating. This is my attempt to see what might have happened to Arch if he'd stuck to his guns and said "Enough is enough!"

From "Is Enough Really Enough?" Part One:

Arch swiveled his chair around and gazed out of his office window. Autumn was well under way and he never failed to appreciate the dazzling display of colors that greeted his eyes. Sighing, he turned back to his desk and opened the newspaper. "It's still early," he thought as he sipped his coffee. "I'll just relax with the paper and finish the coffee."

He read the front section, finding nothing of too much interest. The next section was Society. Arch smiled and was about to toss it aside, when he saw the picture under the fold. It was Denise who was standing with a tall, distinguished looking man. The caption read: British nobleman and local woman announce their engagement.

Arch sat there, numbly, in shock. The paper had fallen from his hands. A terrible sense of loss again pervaded his heart and he put his head in his hands, letting the tears come.

* * * * *

Epilogue:

Arch Meader pulled his hands from his eyes and dried his tears. He looked at the paper on the floor, wondering if he had really seen what he thought he saw. No, there was no change to the image on the paper. In the picture was his ex-wife and a tall man smiling for the camera. It seemed that the picture had been taken at a party; probably where the engagement mentioned in the caption had been announced.

Arch hadn't seen Dee in over three years but she still looked good. Despite her depression and the stress of the divorce the years had been kind to her. It looked like she had been trying to make something of her life after the divorce, unlike him, since he'd thrown himself into his work, avoiding social situations for longer than he cared to remember.

Sitting back in his chair Arch ran his hand through his hair, now more gray than it had been three years ago, and sighed. This was a shock to his system. While he hadn't believed he could get back together with Dee after everything they had been through he had assumed that she, like him, held out some hope of reconciliation, as miniscule as that hope may be. It seems he was wrong. Dee seemed to have moved on while he had remained marking time and feeling sorry for himself. Not one to wallow, any more than he already had that is, Arch decided that it was time for a change, a long overdue change in his life.

He picked up the paper and threw it into the wastebasket at the side of his desk. He finished the last sip of his coffee and made ready to start his day. He needed to talk with his assistant and his secretary first thing. It was time to start delegating more and trusting his team to do what he paid them for. It was also time to get his head out of his butt and return to being the kind of man he had been.

*****

It took a while for Arch to get his workload redistributed to his team so he could feel comfortable that they were running at full efficiency and he could start to reduce his hours at the office. He felt proud of his people and how they took to the new tasks he assigned them, but he should have expected no less. They were bright people, well trained and, if he were honest, underutilized because he had failed to use them for the purposes for which they'd been hired. Well, there would be no more of that, Arch vowed. From now on his people would be intimately involved in the day to day affairs of his office and he, as he should have been all along, would provide leadership and guidance.

Some weeks after Arch's reformation he was sitting in the cafeteria of the medical center where he worked when he noticed his old friend, Bernie Green, walk in. Bernie had been married to Dee's sister Debra for two years now. God, had it been that long? Arch waved Bernie over to his table and invited him to join him.

"Bernie! How have you been? How's Debra?"

"Great, Arch. Debra is well, thanks. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing OK, Bernie. I'm getting better now that I've finally got my head straight. I'm sure you know what I mean."

"Unfortunately I do. I've been concerned about you. You have been working way too hard for way too long. You don't want another heart attack do you?"

"No, Bernie, one was plenty, thank you. I've been following my doctor's orders for the most part, except for the long hours of course, but that's changed now too so I'm sure he'll be ecstatic at my next checkup."

"I'm glad to hear that Arch, Debra and I have been worried about you."

"Oh, really?" Arch said with a wry smile. "I got the impression that I wasn't very high on Debra's list of people to worry about, especially after the divorce."

Bernie had the good grace to look embarrassed. "You know how it is, Arch, Debra and Dee are pretty close. She's calmed down over the years and she realizes Dee was more at fault than you."

"That's mighty nice of her since Dee was the one with another guy between her legs!" Arch said tautly. "I'm sorry, Bernie, but even after all this time her cheating on me after all I went through to support her really pisses me off."

"I can understand that Arch, though I wish you'd talk to someone about it. It isn't good for your health to carry a grudge this long."

"Is that what you think I'm doing? I'm not carrying a grudge Bernie. I rarely think about Dee nowadays. It is only at times like this, when the conversation comes around to her, that old memories get dredged up. I loved her, Bernie! I loved her with all my heart. I thought we'd grow old together. When it turned out her physical problems wouldn't let us have children I was just as devastated as she was, but you'd never know it according to her, or Debra, for that matter.

"I was the dutiful loving husband to her for twelve years, while she went through therapy, and then when she retreated from me day by day. Did I tell you that she cursed me out for trying to set up a 40th birthday party for her?"

Bernie's eyes opened wide at that comment. "No, I didn't know that."

"Oh yeah, I was stunned to say the least but I apologized and never brought it up again but the coldness in our marriage just got worse. We were two people sharing a house but there was really no marriage, we could have been brother and sister for all the intimacy we shared the last two years. I tried everything I could to bring her back to me Bernie, I really did, but how much can one man do when the other person isn't even trying! I'd been questioning the viability of the marriage even before the affair so catching her with another man was just the last in a long line of things that should have told me the marriage was over. The only thing I regret about it is it took a heart attack to wake me from the stupor I'd been in for years."

Arch wound down at this time, talking about this had taken more out of him than he'd realized it would and his shoulders slumped while he stared at his plate, his hunger no longer present.

Bernie laid his hand on his friend's shoulder and squeezed. "I'm sorry, Arch, I didn't know."

"Nobody really does, unless Dee's told them. I didn't want to talk about it, still don't, but I felt you deserved the other side of the story since I'm sure you've heard Dee's side."

"I'll admit that I have but being in my position I knew there had to be more than I was hearing, after all there are two sides to every dispute. I hope you won't get upset but I have to ask, do you still love her?"

Arch paused and took a deep breath, letting it out through his teeth before he replied. "I've asked myself the same question. Do I still love her? If I'm going to be honest I'd have to say yes, I still love her. We had some good years together, there just weren't enough of them, and the bad years outweighed the good. The thing is, though I still love her I'm not "in love" with her, you know? I love her like a friend who's been away for a long time. I remember the good times we had and sometimes wonder what happened, but she's been gone so long that any feelings of being in love with her are long gone. Besides, it doesn't matter anyway, she's engaged now isn't she? I remember seeing the notice in the paper a while ago."

Bernie smiled, wondering if his information was going to cause Arch to reevaluate his position with respect to Dee. "Well, Arch, I have some news on that front. Dee's changed her mind. She had been swept off her feet by that guy but once push came to shove and she realized that she'd be living in England she called it off. Debra questions her sanity, the guy was rich after all, and he seemed to be really taken by Dee. He was devastated when she called off the engagement but he accepted it. He's gone back to England now."

'Well, this changes things, doesn't it?' Arch thought. 'Why should it? Just because she's not engaged and that was the trigger that got me out of my funk doesn't change the fact that I'm fed up with dealing with Dee and her 'depression' and all her other crap all these years. She may be sorry about the affair and she may even be 'normal' now but how long will that last? She went through treatment and medication the last time and she seemed 'normal' then too and look what happened. Nope, sorry, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.' Arch realized he'd been quiet too long so he caught his friends eye and replied.

"I'm sorry to hear that Bernie. Dee deserves to be happy and I was glad to hear she was moving on with her life. I hope she doesn't give up. She's a good woman, if she's really healthy, and she deserves happiness the same as everyone else."

"I was hoping you might be interested in renewing your relationship with her once you found out she wasn't getting married."

"No, sorry Bernie, but sometimes love just isn't enough. I used up all the love I had for her over the last twelve years of our marriage. Besides, despite what she might say or even believe, she couldn't have loved me either in those last few years. If she had she'd have asked for a divorce before she decided to have an affair."

Bernie looked shocked at Arch's statement. "How can you say that Arch, Dee's always loved you!"

"Come on, Bernie, you're the psychiatrist here. I may be stubborn but I can't see any love for your husband in taking another man into your bed, especially your bed in the home you share together! The least she could have done was take the guy to a hotel! Nope she didn't even bother to have that much consideration for me. She didn't care that she was bringing a man into OUR home. She didn't care that she was bringing a man into OUR bed. She didn't care that there was even the least possibility that I could come home and find her in the arms of another man. No, that's not love. It is total disregard for the feelings of the man you are married to. It is indifference to his feelings. It is deriving perverse pleasure at the chance of being caught, however small that chance may be and throwing the affair in your husband's face. It tells me that she weighed the chances of getting caught, and the consequences, and found the chance so small or of such little concern that didn't care if she got caught. To me that shows such disrespect for me that there was NO love there. I'm sorry Bernie, but it's over between Dee and I."

Bernie sat back in his chair, stunned. It was obvious that Arch had been thinking through this for a long time and had come to some interesting, and probably valid, conclusions. He had counseled enough couples with problems in their marriage that he could see how a man would conclude that there was no love for him if his wife could behave that way. Given Arch's many years of supporting his wife, through all her problems and illnesses, it wasn't surprising that he'd feel this way. He looked at his friend sympathetically.

"I understand what you're saying, Arch, and I can see you've given this a lot of thought. For what it's worth, I agree with you in principle, the actions you describe are certainly not an expression of love for ones spouse. I think in Dee's case there are some extenuating circumstances, but it's for you to determine if those circumstances can override the hurt you obviously felt at her betrayal."

"That's the point, Bernie. Even though things weren't great in our marriage, hadn't been for years, I NEVER thought she'd have an affair. I didn't think she was even interested in sex any more, for God's sake! But even with all the animosity between us I never thought she'd hurt me like that. Seeing her in the arms of another man killed any love I had for her and certainly any chance I could forget what happened. Through all those years I was never tempted to seek comfort outside our marriage. I loved Dee too much for that and I took my vows, in sickness and in health, seriously. Dee needed me and I was there for her. Even when she seemed normal I was there for her, hoping that the sweet, loving, fun woman I'd married would return to me, but it never happened. Even during the darkest hours I never thought to cheat on her and I had opportunities. I couldn't do it, it wasn't right, damnit! It just wasn't right." Arch's voice trailed off and he sagged in his chair now, his emotions having run their course he was left drained.

"I'm so sorry, Arch. I'm glad you told me about all of this though, it does shed some light on some questions I've had for a long time. You know that Dee was seeing me after the divorce, and I can't discuss what we talked about, of course, but if it helps any Dee doesn't know why she did it though I have some theories. Dee did love you and she still does, but she understands she's hurt you but I don't think even she knows to what depth. I won't bring Dee up again, Arch, but I had to try, Debra asked me to. She wanted you to know how Dee felt and still feels. Your decision not to talk to her or open her messages to you made Debra think you were being stubborn." Arch's head snapped up at that and Bernie raised his hands in a 'whoa' gesture. "I know that's not the case, Arch, I know you and you're not a stubborn man and after what you've told me I know that more than ever. I truly wish things had worked out differently for you and Dee but I understand your position. You won't hear anything more on the subject from me."

"Thanks for listening, Bernie. This is the first time I've talked to anyone about it in this much detail. I feel much better now that I've got it off my chest."

Bernie smiled at his friend and said: "Hey, no problem, what are friends for? By the way, my bill will be in the mail!"

Arch chuckled. "You know, considering how good I feel now, I just might pay it!" He looked at his plate and, picking up his fork, starting eating his lunch, he found he was hungry after all.

*****

The conversation with Bernie did more than ease Arch's mind. It got him thinking about his decision not to talk to, or have any contact with, Dee. He'd avoided her in an effort to protect himself. He knew that if he'd met with her he'd have said something he would regret later, and he didn't want to do that. He also didn't want to have to deal with her making excuses for her behavior. What did it matter what the underlying reasons for the affair were? The bottom line was she made a conscious decision to bring a man to their home and have sex with him in their bed. As much as he liked Bernie as a person having to listen to the usual psycho-babble excuses would have made him ill. Having to listen to her cite her reasons, or even worse from what Bernie said, that there was no reason she could cite, would have opened all the old wounds and made him relive the incident again; something he never wanted to do. So it had been that to protect his heart he had cut off all contact with Dee, except through their lawyers.

That, of course, was three years ago. Was it time to finally have a talk with Dee? Maybe it was, but he'd have to think about it for a while longer.

*****

A couple of weeks later Arch was seated in an out of the way booth in his favorite new restaurant, waiting for his ex-wife. For the umpteenth time since he'd left a message on her voicemail at work to meet him tonight he questioned the intelligence of making the invitation for dinner. Did he really want to meet her, face to face, in such an intimate setting? Would he send the wrong message by doing so? Would she even show up? Just as he was going off the deep end with what-if scenarios the hostess directed Dee to the table.

Ever the gentleman, he stood to greet her. "Dee, thanks for coming, I hope you didn't have any problem finding the place?" he said as he pulled out the chair for her.

Taking her seat Dee blushed as she remembered how much she enjoyed Arch's company and how much she had missed it over the years. "You're welcome, Arch, thanks for inviting me. This is a very nice place, is it new?"

"Yes, it opened a year or so ago. I really like it. They have great food and the tables aren't so close together that you can't have a private conversation without other diners hearing every word you say."

Dee wondered if Arch had anything he might want to say to her in private? It didn't matter at the moment though, Dee had an agenda with respect to this meeting too and she decided to jump right in.

"Arch, I'm so sorry..."

"Dee, please, I didn't invite you here for that. I've had a long time to think about things and I know you're sorry. The woman I married would be, and though there have been a lot of changes in our lives I don't think you've changed THAT much."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Arch. You're right we've both changed a lot, before and after the divorce. I want you to know that I take full responsibility for everything that happened."

"I really appreciate that Dee. I want you to know that I don't want, nor do I need, an explanation of the incident that led to our divorce. I've come to terms with it and I have no desire to open old wounds. I want to talk about why I invited you here tonight."

"I still feel I owe you an explanation, Arch..."

"Please, Dee!" he said a little sharper than he intended. Taking a calming breath Arch continued. "I don't want an explanation. That's all water under the bridge now and we both need to put it behind us. We can't keep living in the past, which is why I asked you here tonight. I want us to be friends again."

Dee's heart raced at Arch's last statement. "Friends? As in...?"

"Friends, Dee, nothing more. We had a lot of years together, and while they all weren't good, some of them were and there's no reason two adults with the history we had together can't be friends. It was probably wrong of me to cut you off like I did but I can't undo that. All I can do is make things right now and in the future. Can we be friends again, Dee?" Arch sat back and waited for her reply.

Dee glanced down at her plate and then looked back at Arch through her eyelashes. There was a trace of tears in her eyes and her throat felt tight. She never thought that Arch would ever say those words to her. She'd been sure that she'd lost all chance for contact with him because of her actions and now to be considered for friendship with him was more than she could have hope for. She swallowed, twice, to clear her throat before she could speak.

"I'd like that very much, Arch. I'd love for us to be friends! I had hoped for this but I never thought it would come true. I'm so glad you've decided to extend this offer to me. I'm stunned but flattered."




Is Enough Really Enough? My Tale



"I guess I'm more of an ogre than I thought if you feel that way. I've never stopped loving you Dee. I'm just not in love with you. I hope we can start a new relationship, as good friends."

"I appreciate your sentiments, Arch, and though my actions don't agree with my feelings, I've never stopped loving you either. I want to start a new relationship with you too, as very good friends." She saw that Arch had wine already poured before she'd arrived so she picked up her glass to propose a toast, "To good friends!"

Arch raised his glass and smiled as well, "To good friends!" They clinked glasses, took a sip of wine and picking up their menus settled in to conversation. Even though they hadn't spoken to each other in three years conversation soon settled in to an enjoyable give and take like they'd had before all the trouble in their marriage.

All too soon the dinner and dessert was finished and it was time to go home. Arch pulled out Dee's chair and took her hand.

"I had a really nice time Dee. I was pretty scared I'll tell you. I thought for sure tonight would be awkward, and it was for a while, but once we settled in it was almost like old times. May I walk you to your car?"

Dee smiled and squeezed Arch's hand before she released it. "Why thank you kind sir. I was concerned about how the evening would go too but I had to try and I'm very glad I did. Thanks for the offer of friendship, Arch, it is an offer I'll always cherish, as I will your friendship."

Arch walked Dee to her car and waited until she had started the motor then he turned to walk to his own vehicle thinking that the evening had turned out OK.

*****

Arch sat in his chair at the board meeting staring off into space. Mr. Joseph, Joe, Brambly, the CFO, was retiring and he was talking about his years at the medical center. While Arch really liked Joe he was always a bit of a talker and he'd really hit his stride today. He was going on and on about his career and all the wonderful people he'd worked with. He had just reached the 1960's and Arch was bored to tears. Sucking it up like a man he tried as hard as he could to pay attention and, thanks to the CEO, Joe sped up his stroll down memory lane wrapping it up in record time. Everyone gave Joe a well deserved thank you for everything he had done for them and he sat down to a standing ovation from his peers.

The remaining item on the agenda was the introduction of Joe's replacement. While Arch had been involved in the initial interviews, the second and third interviews for the candidates as well, he was unaware of the final choice. The CEO, Bill Corrigan, had wanted to keep that part of the process for himself after he had reviewed his staff member's recommendations. The three candidates all had outstanding qualifications; one had even been the CFO for a smaller regional health center in the state. Based on his evaluations of the individuals he had no qualms about any of them so he was not concerned about Bill's choice. If he were asked his personal opinion though he'd vote for the only female of the group, Elizabeth Canne.

Elizabeth's qualifications were as good as the other applicants and she interviewed well, exuding confidence in herself and her abilities. She had some really novel ideas for cost containment which is always a point of contention in the health care industry. What really made Arch hope she'd be the new CFO though was her intelligence. She had a quick wit that came out after their last formal interview when they were chatting before her next appointment. Arch hadn't enjoyed a conversation with a woman so much in years. Of course it didn't hurt that Elizabeth was attractive in an understated way.

She appeared to be about his age, between 45 and 50 he'd guessed, with dark black hair. Based on the few gray hairs sprinkled throughout it looked like the color was wholly natural, a rarity for a woman of her years. She was quite tall, an inch or two shorter than him in her heels, with an average but curvy figure. It was her smile that really caught his attention though. She smiled easily and frequently but never did she seem frivolous. She seemed, at least to Arch, that she'd be an excellent choice for their current team.

Arch's thoughts were interrupted by Bill making the announcement all of them had been waiting for.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you all for your input in helping me come to a decision on Joe's replacement. I'd also like to thank Joe again for his kind offer to stay for another month and also to be available for consultation for three months to help his successor become comfortable with their new role." A smattering of applause was gratefully acknowledged by Joe before Bill, continued.

"While it was a difficult decision to choose Joe's replacement it was not because of your efforts. It was strictly due to the quality of the candidates, I didn't want to reject any of them, however a choice had to be made. So without further ado, may I introduce our new CFO, Elizabeth Canne."

Elizabeth had been waiting in the connecting office for her cue and as she walked in she surveyed the scene. She'd really wanted to get this position, had worked hard to get it, and now she was ready to take on the challenge she knew she was up to. She'd also wanted to work at the center city medical center for years. Their reputation as one of the premiere facilities in the state was well known. It had a reputation of employing the best in the business and she, in her opinion, was the best so she knew she'd able to make a difference here.

On a personal note, if she were honest with herself, she was also happy to be working with Arch Meader. Of all the people who'd interviewed her she'd enjoyed that interview the best. Besides that she found him to be a very attractive man, quick witted and very pleasant to talk to. Oh yes, she was going to enjoy this job very much.

"Thanks Bill, I want to say that I appreciate you choosing me to be your new CFO and I look forward to working with Joe and gleaning all the knowledge I can from him." Looking directly at Joe she continued. "Joe, I want to thank you in advance for your time and I promise to pick your brain so hard you'll have a headache when we're done!"

Joe and the rest of the staff chuckled at her statement. She then took the chair Bill motioned her to and settled in.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to remind you that Joe's retirement party is Friday evening at the Hilton, 8 PM. It is formal of course, so get out your best clothes and be ready for an evening of dining and dancing. This meeting is adjourned."

Bill's staff started to file out of the room taking the time to shake hands with and congratulate Elizabeth on her new position. Arch hung back so that he was the next to last to leave.

"Congratulations Elizabeth! Welcome to the team. I really look forward to working with you. Please feel free to pick my brain as well, my door is always open."

"Thanks, Arch, I'll do that. I'm sure we'll be working closely together in the future and I look forward to it." She smiled and looked Arch in the eye as she said it.

"I do too, Elizabeth." Arch shifted nervously but plunged ahead, "If you don't think I'm being too forward would it be OK if I escorted you to the retirement party? You being new in town and all..."

'Wow, he doesn't waste any time does he?' Elizabeth thought. 'If it were anyone else I'd probably say no, but I've got a good feeling about Arch. I wouldn't mind seeing what he has planned.'

"Thank you, Arch, I'd be delighted. I haven't had much chance to get my bearings so your offer is much appreciated."

"Great, we can firm up plans later this week. I'm sorry but I've got a meeting to get to, I'll talk to you later." With that Arch left the room leaving Elizabeth and Joe alone.

"Arch is a great guy. He'll be a lot of help to you in the future. Why don't we head to my office, pardon me, YOUR office, and we can meet the staff."

Elizabeth smiled and patted Joe's arm. "Joe, it's still your office and your staff and I don't want you to think differently. I really am looking forward to working with you in the next few weeks. You have a great reputation in our field and I want to do everything I can to learn what you know so I can improve myself."

"You just do everything you can to make this medical center the best it can be and do it honestly and you'll succeed. That's what I've always done and it's served me well as I'm sure it will you too."

With that they made their way to Joe's office and her first meeting with her new staff.

*****

The retirement party was a rousing success. Joe and his wife enjoyed the attention and accolades of his colleagues throughout the evening and there wasn't a dry eye in the house when Joe thanked everyone for all the great years they had shared. Thanks to his investments, Joe and his wife were leaving the next month on a world cruise, something they had planned to do for years, though he'd be available when he returned for consultation if Elizabeth should need it, which Joe didn't think would be the case. 

In the week they had worked together she had taken to the job like no one he'd ever known and he had plans to start pulling back and letting her take the lead starting Monday. This was going to be an easy transition and he made sure Bill knew it. Bill seemed pleased with that information and had commented that his instincts had never led him astray before.

Bill noticed that his new CFO and his COO were getting along well. He'd seen them talking and laughing easily throughout the evening. He'd seen them dancing together as well though Elizabeth danced with others of his team as had Arch. It was nice to see his staff interact well together in a social setting like this.

He also wasn't a fool, however. He could see a beginning of a spark between Elizabeth and Arch. Elizabeth was an attractive woman that any man would be proud to know. Arch was a handsome man, that much was obvious as well, and they made a nice couple. If the truth were known he was pleased to see Arch as happy as he seemed to be this evening. Ever since his divorce Arch had been a subdued man.

He hadn't been the same Arch he'd known since the divorce. He'd been a man closed off from his fellow man, reluctant to interact with others outside of a business setting. Instead of socializing Arch had taken to working more and more, though that had finally changed recently. Bill had even tried to get Arch interested in social activities by making sure there were eligible ladies in attendance when he had company functions but no one seemed to capture Arch's interest. Then, five or six months ago, Arch seemed to shake himself out of his stupor and was slowly getting back to his old self. Some judicious investigation had yielded the information that Arch and his ex-wife had settled their differences and had agreed to be friends again. While he, like Arch's other friends, had hoped that Arch and Dee would reconcile that wasn't going to happen. While Bill had a good idea why that was he never pressed the issue and as such was pleased that the two had settled on friendship rather than the impasse they had lived under for the last three years.

While he wasn't sure if Elizabeth would be the best person for Arch, he wouldn't know that for a long time since he would need to know her much better to make that decision, it was satisfying to see Arch take any kind of interest in a woman. He'd have to keep an eye on this budding romance to make sure that if things went south it wouldn't affect his team, he'd hate to lose one or both of them because they could no longer work together. However, it was way too soon for those kinds of concerns, after all escorting a woman to a party and a few dances did not a romance make.

*****

Elizabeth smiled at her escort as they approached her apartment. "Thanks for escorting me to the party tonight, Arch. I had a very nice time, you're a good dancer."

"Thanks, Elizabeth, you are too. You really made a hit with your peers tonight. I kept hearing good things about you from everyone. You sure didn't act like the new kid on the block." Arch smiled.

"I don't know what it is but I feel so comfortable here, with my staff and the other members of Bill's staff. It seems like we've worked together for years. The husbands and wives of the other officers are so kind and helpful too, it's almost like you're one big family."

"Bill likes to foster that kind of attitude and he picks his people very carefully to fit that mold. I think it makes for a much better work environment. That doesn't mean that Bill can't crack down when he feels the need but I think he feels the need less than a lot of CEOs because of his care in choosing people." Arch noticed that they had arrived at her door and stepped back a bit. "Well, here we are, thanks for allowing me to escort you tonight, Elizabeth. I'll see you Monday."

Elizabeth put her key in the lock and opened the door slightly. "No, Arch, thank you. I enjoyed myself very much and I enjoyed your company. See you Monday!" With that she stepped into her apartment, closing her door.

*****

Months went by and Elizabeth settled into her role as CFO as easily as Joe had predicted. She was able to build on Joe's base and improve upon it, making many policy changes that increased the profits of the corporation while maintaining the high standards the company had become known for.

Elizabeth and Arch became friends over this period as well due to their close working relationship. They would lunch together a couple of times a week and have dinner together after a long after hour's session. Arch and Elizabeth would talk mostly about work related topics during these times but, as with a lot of people in their situation, personal information slowly worked its way into their conversations. He found out she had been divorced for 10 years now and Arch volunteered his divorced status at 3, almost 4 years. Arch was surprised to find out that Elizabeth had no children, her husband hadn't wanted any, and while he mentioned he had no children he didn't elaborate.

As Arch had discerned during her interviews, they did have a lot of things on common. He found himself feeling very comfortable in her presence. He didn't think he was in love with her, not like he'd loved Dee when they first met, surely, but he was very happy to be with her and looked forward to seeing her when they were apart.

Elizabeth, on the other hand wondered what was holding Arch back. He seemed to be happy with her and enjoyed her company immensely, as she did his, but he never took it to the next level. They didn't have dates, they had get-togethers as friends. At first she thought he might be reluctant to date a colleague on the off chance that should things not work out it might affect their job performance. She wondered if there might not be an anti-fraternization rule for company officers. She went so far as to check with the Human Resources director, who assured her that no such policy existed.

After a while, through talking to her peers, she found out that Dr. Bernie Green was as close to Arch as anyone, and as such would be the person to ask to gain insight into Arch's situation. One day she saw Bernie in the cafeteria and, noticing he was alone, she made her way to his table.

"Dr. Green, may I sit down?" Elizabeth said.

Bernie Green looked up to see the tall brunette he'd seen with his friend Arch standing at his table. He stood and motioned to the empty chair.

"Please join me Ms. Canne. I don't think I've had the pleasure."

"I see you know who I am, I'm flattered."

"Ms. Canne, your reputation precedes you. Everyone has been talking about the new CFO and her innovative ideas!"

Elizabeth smiled shyly. "Please, call me Elizabeth. I had no idea my fame was so widespread. I'm very pleased to hear it though. I love being recognized for my efforts. I hope I don't sound too self absorbed."

"No, and please call me Bernie. To paraphrase Walter Brennan in an old TV show, 'no brag, just fact.' You have a lot to be proud of Elizabeth and you deserve the praise if my opinion means anything."

"I remember Walter Brennan, but I don't think I ever saw that show. I appreciate your sentiment Bernie. Everyone here is so nice and you uphold the tradition."

Bernie knew there was more to this meeting than a mutual admiration society and he decided to cut to the chase. "While it's been fun to heap praise on each other like this I have the feeling you wanted to talk about something else, am I right, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth had the grace to look embarrassed. "Was I that obvious, Bernie? I did want to talk to you about something, someone actually. Arch Meader. I've heard you are the best friend he has around here so I was wondering if you could give me some insight."

"I'll do what I can but some things I can't talk about due to doctor / patient confidentiality."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at this information. "Arch was a patient?"

"No, his ex-wife, Dee. But I have the feeling that what you want to know may involve information that could include Dee and I can't talk about specifics in that area."

"I understand completely, Bernie. Since you know why I'm here and what I'm interested in, I'll just plunge ahead. I like Arch but he seems to be holding back. We're good friends, at least I think so, but I'd like to be more than friends and he's... not reluctant, but not picking up on my signals to move forward. Could you shed some light on this?"

Bernie paused to digest Elizabeth's comments. He had to tread lightly here. While he wanted Arch to find someone new, since a reconciliation with Dee was out of the question, he didn't want to be telling tales out of school so to speak.

"I'm sorry if I seem reluctant to answer, Elizabeth, but this is a touchy subject. Arch is one of my best friends, but so is his ex-wife. I don't want to hurt either of them and what you want to know is, or could be, hurtful in the wrong context. Before we go further, I want you to promise me that nothing we talk about today will be repeated to ANYONE, even to Arch."

Elizabeth reached over and patted Bernie's arm in a gesture of solidarity. "I understand completely, Bernie and I'll never divulge anything you tell me in confidence. I'd appreciate any insights you can give me, of course, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable either. If you need to leave things out it's no problem."

"OK then, I believe Arch is reluctant to become too involved, with any woman, not just you, because he still has feelings for his ex-wife that he can't put behind him. He's not in love with her, he's told me that personally, but they were married 20 years and he really loved her and those kinds of feelings take time to get over. There were some problems in the marriage that precipitated the divorce but the trigger came on so suddenly that Arch didn't have time to get used to the idea of not being married to Dee. For the first three years after the divorce he was a workaholic, shutting himself off from all social activities that he could. It was only recently, in the last six months or so, shortly before you joined the company, that Arch and Dee actually talked to each other. They have agreed to be friends and for the most part that is working out well, for both of them. So if you think of it in those terms Arch has only been 'divorced' for the last six months and he's probably not ready, or even looking for, another relationship."

"I see, that certainly clears up some of the confusion I've had. Arch's actions make much more sense now. When he'd mentioned that he'd been divorced for almost 4 years I assumed that he would be over it, or at least mostly over it, by now. He must have really loved his ex, huh?"

"Yes, he did. They were one of the happiest couples I've ever known for the first eight years of their marriage. The problems started slowly and Arch, who believes in the sanctity of marriage, wouldn't give up on it. For the next 12 years there were ups and downs, more than in a lot of marriages, but Arch stood firm and worked to make the marriage better. I don't mean to sound like this was all Dee's fault, she had and has issues that I can't get into, but Arch loved Dee so much that he accepted a lot of things so his marriage could survive. As I said before, then came the trigger that, according to Arch, he couldn't accept and they divorced. So the bottom line is, he still loves her, but he's not 'in love' with her. They seem to be good friends now and given the circumstances that is great progress for them."




Is Enough Really Enough? My Tale



Elizabeth processed what she'd been told. Arch's actions, or inactions more to the point, made a lot more sense. Bernie had eased her mind on a number of issues, the biggest of which was her feeling that Arch wasn't interested in her as more than a friend. She wasn't sure he was but at least now she knew that Arch was probably reluctant to seek out a new romantic relationship while he was still dealing with his divorce. Since she'd been divorced for over 10 years and having no interest in any other guys she'd met she decided to give Arch the time he needed and see how things went.

"Thanks for the information, Bernie. I really appreciate it. I want you to know that I won't say anything to anyone about our conversation and I want you to know that you have eased my mind with respect to Arch. If you don't mind, I'd like to have lunch with you again, not to pick your brain about Arch, but as a thank you for what you've done today. I'll buy!"

Bernie smiled widely. "You're on Elizabeth! I may be a married man but I can't turn down lunch offered by a beautiful woman."

*****

Weeks turned into months and Arch and Elizabeth grew closer as friends. Arch asked Elizabeth to accompany him to so many company functions such that his colleagues assumed that they were a couple. It was at one of these events, the company picnic, that Bill said something that got Arch thinking.

"So Arch, how are things progressing with you and Elizabeth. You don't know how happy I am to see you interested in someone after all this time."

Arch wondered what Bill was talking about and his confused expression prompted Bill to elaborate.

"Come on Arch, it isn't a secret. We all know you're sweet on Elizabeth. I think it's wonderful. You make a lovely couple!"

"Bill, I think you have misinterpreted things. Elizabeth and I are good friends, nothing more."

"Arch, this is me you're talking to. I see how you act around her. Even now you know exactly where she is and when your eyes connect your faces light up. I've seen how she looks at you when you're not aware of it. And whether you want to admit it, you have that look too, though maybe to a lesser degree. You make a lovely couple and I hope things work out for you. Look, we'll talk more later. I'm needed at the dunk tank, it's my turn in the box!"

'Is he right?' Arch thought. 'Do I really do that?' To test the theory he scanned the area to find Elizabeth, though he seemed to have a feeling of where she would be. Finding her he watched until he caught her eye and, as Bill had said, Elizabeth's face did light up. The smile that she wore was more intense than it had been when she was talking to her friend. If he were honest with himself he felt the corners of his mouth rise as well and his heart swelled at her attention. 'My God, Bill's right! I do react to her as she does to me. Boy, I must be the biggest dope in the world. If Bill is to be believed, and I have no reason not to do so, everybody thinks we're a couple but me. I wonder how long Elizabeth was going to let me muddle along before she said something.'

Not one to put off until tomorrow what needed to be done today Arch decided to talk to Elizabeth about her feelings, and his. He made his way over to where she was talking to one of her staff members, a pretty young girl who Elizabeth was mentoring.

"Hello ladies. Joy, are you enjoying the picnic?"

"Oh yes, Arch. Elizabeth and I were just saying how much fun we were having. We're going to enter the three-legged race later today."

"I'll be sure to be there to root you on to victory then." Arch turned to face Elizabeth. "Elizabeth, could I speak to you in private, please?"

Elizabeth excused herself from Joy and together they walked to the picnic area and sat down at a table far away from the crowd.

Elizabeth was concerned about what Arch might want to talk about. He seemed pretty serious. "Is anything wrong, Arch?"

"No, nothing is wrong Elizabeth. Bill and I were talking and he brought something to my attention. I don't know how to say this but it seems as if I've been kind of clueless where you and I are concerned."

"Clueless, how do you mean, Arch?"

"Well, he congratulated us on being a couple and I didn't know what he meant. He went on citing examples that led him to his conclusion and after we talked I checked out something he said and darned if he wasn't right."

Elizabeth wondered where this was leading but she hoped it was where she wanted it to go. "What did he say?"

"He said that you and I have this look when we see the other and how we know, instinctively almost, where the other is when we're not together. I decided to see if he was right and he was. I didn't know exactly where you were on the grounds but I found you pretty quickly because I almost 'sensed' where you were. Then when our eyes met your face changed. Your smile grew wider and your eyes sparkled. I felt my smile get wider too and I felt a warmth in my chest at the contact." Arch paused and grasped her hand before continuing. "Elizabeth, am I right? Do you care for me as much as I seem to care for you, even if I was too thick headed to realize it?"

Elizabeth's heart melted at the look of love and admiration in Arch's eyes. It would seem the time had come for Arch to accept that he had feelings for her. She'd have to thank Bill later for the nudge that made this happen.

"Yes, Arch, I do care for you very much. I've been waiting for you to realize it too and I'm very glad that it has finally happened. I didn't feel the need to pressure you into something because I wanted to get to know you better as a friend first. As we grew closer I could sense us developing as a couple even if we didn't acknowledge it. It has just sort of happened, gradually, and I've been patiently waiting for you to catch up."

"The man is always the last to know, huh? In this case I guess that's not a bad thing. So what's next? I suppose a real date would be in order. How about dinner, tomorrow night, with dancing afterwards? How does that sound?"

Elizabeth smiled happily. "That would be wonderful. 7:30 OK for you? I need to get a new dress!"

"That works for me, now how about we head over to the playing field and get you ready for that race?"

*****

Arch sat in his den contemplating his upcoming date. He was really looking forward to this evening. It was amazing how easily he'd accepted the situation considering that it was only yesterday that he saw Elizabeth as a very good friend and nothing more. How could he have missed the feelings that seemed so obvious now? Was he so numb that he could become attracted to a woman as lovely as Elizabeth, subconsciously? According to Bill he'd been acting like part of a couple, even though he hadn't realized it, for quite some time. Maybe Elizabeth had snuck under his radar so subtly that any resistance he might have felt was ignored. If someone had asked him yesterday if he was looking for a relationship he'd have said, confidently, no, he was not. He was happy with his situation and didn't feel the need for romance. He had wonderful friends at work, male and female, and he now had a cordial relationship with his ex-wife and he felt no pressing need for more.

Now that he'd thought about it he did want more. He had felt that there was something special about Elizabeth since their first meeting when she was interviewing for her position, though he hadn't admitted it at the time. There was no one thing that drew him to her; it was the complete package that was Elizabeth that attracted him. They had grown to be great friends and now that the romantic angle was included to their relationship he could see what a help that could be to him. He didn't have to wonder what she liked, he knew because they'd told each other of their likes and dislikes. He didn't have to worry that tonight would be a nerve filled evening of feeling each other out on safe topics of conversation since they'd already covered those topics and some unsafe ones as well and they had enjoyed the discussion, even though they didn't always agree with each other.

He knew that he wanted to be with her when they were apart and that he was happier than he'd been in a long time when they were together. No, tonight would not be as awkward as a typical first date would be, especially for a man his age. He hadn't dated in over 20 years and normally that thought would terrify him, but it didn't since he was going out with his friend and he was comfortable with her.

What did concern him though were the physical aspects of a relationship. He hadn't kissed another woman since before his marriage. It wasn't the technical aspect of kissing that worried him; it was the fear of disappointing her due to inexperience. He truly hoped it would be like riding a bike and it would all come back to him. Since Elizabeth had been waiting for him to come around he planned he follow her lead, for the most part, and take clues from her as to what she wanted him to do. One thing he did know was that he wasn't ready for physical intimacy with her. Baby steps would be needed to make him comfortable. He also didn't think Elizabeth would want to jump into bed on the first date either, it wasn't her style, so he dismissed that idea as something to consider for some time in the future.

*****

Arch pulled up in front of Elizabeth's condo at 7:25 PM. He checked his tie in the mirror and finding it straight he exited the car and made his way to her door. He took a deep breath and checked the flowers in his hand again before ringing the bell. Seconds later the door opened and the vision that greeted him took his breath away.

Elizabeth had her hair pulled back and swept up behind her ear in a style he'd never seen her wear but one he hoped to see more often. Next he noticed her dress, the stereotypical 'little black dress' but this one hugged every curve like a lover and ended a few inches above her knees. She wore a simple pearl necklace with matching earrings and bracelet to finish off the ensemble, and of course shiny black high heels. In short she was a vision of loveliness.

Realizing he was probably staring he extending the bouquet of flowers to her before he spoke. "Wow, Elizabeth, you look wonderful. Here, these are for you."

Elizabeth had been using the time to check out Arch as well and she was pleased she could have the kind of reaction on him that she did. She'd put a lot of work into looking the way she did tonight and it seemed that she had succeeded admirably.

"You look very nice yourself, Arch, I love that suit. And these flowers are beautiful! Please, come in while I get a vase to put them in."

She escorted him to her living room and motioned for him to be seated on the couch. Seeing that he was comfortable she quickly grabbed a vase from the kitchen cabinet, filled it with water and arranged the flowers in it before returning to set the vase on the coffee table in front of Arch.

When she returned to the room Arch stood and metaphorically pinched himself. He still couldn't believe that this beautiful creature was the same woman he worked with every day. That's not to say she wasn't attractive at work, she was, but she obviously 'dressed down' to avoid appearing too attractive. Tonight she didn't feel the need to do that and the difference was amazing. Glancing at his watch Arch noticed that it was time to go if they were going to make their reservations.

"I hate to rush but we should be going now, Elizabeth."

"Right, just let me get my wrap and we can go." She grabbed her wrap off the back of a chair where it had lain and Arch helped her drape it around her shoulders. He exited the condo, waiting while she locked the door, and extending his arm he escorted her to his car.

The drive to the restaurant passed quickly and they were soon seated at their table in an out of the way, quiet corner.

"This looks like a nice place, Arch, do you come here often?"

"I do, actually. I've been coming here for business meetings and such since they opened, which is about a year. I really like the food and the privacy the seating arrangements allow. I can have a business conversation without too much concern, as long as people don't talk overly loud you really can't hear too much from other tables."

"I think the atmosphere is very romantic," she said with a sly grin.

"Well, yes, now that you mention it, it is quite romantic. I hope you approve?" Arch asked hopefully.

"Oh I do, Arch, I most certainly do."

At that moment the waiter arrived and after taking their drink order left them to peruse the menu. Returning with their drinks he took their dinner orders and left as quickly as he'd come.

"You mentioned dancing after dinner, Arch. I haven't danced since Joe's retirement party and I'm looking forward to it. You dance very well if I remember correctly," she said coyly.

"They have dancing here, in the lounge area, starting at 9:00." Arch paused to examine her other comment. "Has it been that long? I do apologize and I promise you won't have to wait another six months before I take you dancing again you can be sure of that!" he chuckled.

"I'll hold you to that, you know. I just love to dance, so much so that you may regret making that promise!"

Arch smiled at her warmly and continued in a low sexy voice, "I'll take my chances, Elizabeth."

The words he spoke caused a frisson of desire to run down her spine. Arch had never spoken to her like this and she loved it! She reached out and grasped his hand. Her eyes darkened as her desire for the man seated across from her came to the surface.

Arch noticed the change in Elizabeth almost as soon as the words left his mouth. He could almost feel the heat radiate from her and her eyes spoke of heretofore untold desire for him. Rather than being surprised at the depth of feeling she was showing he was pleased and it stoked his desires for her as well. He hadn't felt desire like this in many, many years and he found that he liked the feeling. For the first time since his divorce he felt alive! Elizabeth was unleashing feelings he'd buried for too long and it felt great to release them again.

All of these feelings passed between the couple wordlessly and just as Arch was leaning in to kiss Elizabeth their meals arrived. Shaken out of the cocoon of desire they had been in they sat back, blushing, and began to eat.

Conversation slowed, naturally, during the meal and after dessert they made their way to the lounge grabbing an empty table close to the dance floor. Arch ordered a bottle of wine for them and they seated themselves while waiting for the band to finish setting up. Arch poured them both a glass of wine, picked up his glass and proposed a toast.

"To best friends," he said softly looking deep into her eyes.

"To best friends," she replied with feeling and they sipped their wine.

They spent the evening dancing, enjoying the feel of their arms around the other. As the first song had ended Arch and Elizabeth kissed for the first time. Arch's fears of disappointing Elizabeth with his inexperience were unfounded as his lips found hers and a sensuous moan escaped her throat even before his tongue requested entrance to her mouth. He deepened the kiss and he tightened his grip around her waist as he felt her knees weaken slightly. She returned the kiss enthusiastically but all too soon it was over and she was left breathless as he pulled away.

"Wow," she said, feeling overwhelmed and unable to form a coherent thought.

Arch smiled lovingly. "Yeah, wow! I worried about doing that, I didn't want to embarrass myself with my inexperience."

"If that is inexperience, Arch, I don't think I can handle it once you get your sea-legs again! You'll get no complaints from me if your kisses *never* improve."

"Thank you, Elizabeth. Your kisses bring out the best in me so I'm sure my partner has a lot to do with my performance." He pulled her tighter to his chest as the next song started. She molded herself to his chest as he rested his cheek on her hair and smelled her perfume. It intoxicated him and further enflamed the feelings he had for her.

Throughout the night they spent more time on the dance floor than off but found enough time to finish the bottle of wine during the band's breaks. All too soon the band leader announced that the next set would be the last and they took full advantage by dancing every dance. By the end of the evening they felt as if they had known each other forever and that they knew each others body as well as they could, with their clothes on that is.

Given the heat they had generated throughout the evening Arch became concerned that his resolve not to be intimate tonight might be tested. While he was quickly falling, had probably already fallen, for Elizabeth, he still didn't want to rush too quickly. He didn't want her to think he was like all men and only had one thing on his mind. Oh he wanted that too, he'd be a fool not to, but he wanted her to know he loved her for herself and not for her physical attributes. Again, trusting to what he knew of Elizabeth, he felt sure she wouldn't press the issue tonight and he relaxed in that knowledge.

Elizabeth was thinking about the next step in the evening as well. She felt that they had made enormous progress tonight. She could feel the desire for her in everything Arch did, especially the way he held her when they danced and when they kissed. No man had kissed her like that and those kisses reinforced her feelings of love for him. However she wondered if he might want more now that she'd unleashed his desire. She looked forward to more as well, just not tonight. She'd never been the kind of girl who slept with a guy on the first date and she wasn't about to start now, no matter how much Arch turned her on. Knowing Arch as she did she felt sure that he'd understand her reluctance to take that step tonight. That settled she relaxed as they slowly made their way to her condo, each lost in their own thoughts, holding hands the whole way.

Parking in front of her condo, Arch crossed to the other side of the car, opening the door for her. He gently pulled her to his side as they strolled to her door, giving her little pecks every few steps. When they stopped in front of her door he turned her to face him and gazed deeply into her eyes before he captured her mouth with his. He expressed his feelings for Elizabeth in this kiss, holding nothing back. This kiss was hotter than any they'd experienced on the dance floor and all too soon he pulled back, breathless.

Reaching up with his hand to brush her cheek he smiled and kissed her forehead. "I hate to leave you but if I don't I'm going to do something I don't think either of us are ready for right now. I've had such a great time and I don't want to ruin it by taking things too far for a first date. I hope you don't mind, honey."

'Honey?' He hadn't used any kind of endearment before this but she found that she liked it. She agreed with him and sought to reassure him. "I agree, darling, I've had such a wonderful evening and it feels right to end it now, thanks for being the man I thought you'd be."

'Darling?' Arch had been concerned she might object to his endearment but she'd not only accepted it but returned one of her own. His heart soared and he knew he'd made the right choice tonight and he was proud that she acknowledged it as well. Kissing her one more time, not quite as passionately as before, he pulled back from her holding her hands in his.

"I'll call you tomorrow, Elizabeth, if that's all right?"

"I'd like that, Arch, very much."

He released her hands and turned to head home, images of the night playing in his mind until he fell asleep, dreaming of the best date of his life.

*****

Elizabeth woke early the next morning to thoughts of last nights date. It had gone better than she could have ever hoped, given that on Saturday she and Arch were still only friends, at least officially. She'd been so aroused when she got home last night that she found her hands between her legs as she relived the dances with Arch and she cried out her joy at the remembrance of the kiss at her door. As she made her way to the shower the same feeling settled in her stomach and she found herself reliving the experience again with similar results. She trimmed her vulva and shaved her bikini area as she did every morning but this time she paid extra attention to her clitoris, bringing herself to a screaming climax once again, a record for her so early in the morning.




Is Enough Really Enough?



Things slowly returned to "normal", whatever that was. Denise functioned well. She went through the motions at least. She had returned to work and seemed to enjoy what she was doing. Their time at home settled into a routine similar to what they had before Dee's depression. But it really wasn't the same. Something was missing, something difficult to put a finger on, something difficult to define. Outwardly, Dee seemed fine. Everyone commented about how she was her old self, but Arch could feel the difference. The facade she had built was fragile but strong enough so that she could function, but there was a sadness the he could feel. A sadness that wouldn't go away. Her joie de vivre was gone.

The years seemed to almost fly by. Their relationship stabilized, things settled down. Denise seemed to have gotten through that terrible period and was her old self - at least outwardly. Arch really didn't want to rock the boat, he was grateful that Dee had managed to overcome the demons that had possessed her, but Arch also recognized that things seemed to have gone downhill for the past few years. Denise seemed to have drawn into herself again. Oh, not like the time of her illness, but she had become a bit remote, more stoic. 

Arch remembered the "conversation" they had when he had suggested a party to celebrate her 40th birthday. She had flushed and almost screamed: "Goddamn it, Arch. I don't want any fucking party. You can be so stupid sometimes," she shrieked at him and then stalked off.

Arch just stood there, dumbfounded. Dee's outburst was so unlike her and she rarely if ever used the "f" word. He never again brought the subject up and he followed her lead by just ignoring her birthday, for which she seemed grateful.

Arch now wondered, was that the beginning of the slow but steady slide into what now seemed a cold and distant relationship? Was Dee's outburst that evening a signal that their marriage was headed for the inevitable? He recognized that she wasn't the only one to blame for where they now were. He had slowly become impatient with her moodiness, her coolness and he had reacted by becoming indifferent. It seemed that he had given all that he had throughout the years, perhaps there was nothing left in him to give. So he wondered, was there any love left?

*******************

Arch was awakened from his reverie by the sound of the front door closing. Denise had left. He rose wearily and walked into the kitchen, seeing a note lying on the table.

Dear Arch

I'm really sorry about having to schedule a meeting this evening. I left your dinner in the warming oven. Please don't forget to eat. I should be back early.

Love Dee

Arch shook his head guiltily, knowing that he had acted foolishly and vowed to apologize to Dee when she got back. He also realized that this little incident was symptomatic of a much deeper problem, of the deterioration of what had first brought them together, of the love that they had shared. 

The next few days went by with Arch trying to make a renewed effort to bring some life into their marriage. He was solicitous and caring. He made efforts to talk about interesting things that had occurred during the day and he tried to elicit comments from Dee about her work. It wasn't as if things were cold or angry; what agonized him was the lack of real warmth, the lack of that emotional bond that they once had. He wondered if he should suggest counseling, but was fearful of another outburst. In the end he just began to accept what was; perhaps one day soon he would reach a decision about where he really wanted his life to go.

It happened on the day that spring turned into summer. Arch sat at his desk fighting the feeling of nausea. He had broken out in a sweat and he knew that something was wrong. He wasn't feeling well and he suspected that he had come down with some kind of bug. He finally accepted the inevitable, rose, grabbed his briefcase and told his secretary that he wasn't feeling well and was going home.

Driving home the feeling of illness seemed to intensify a bit. It was with a sigh of relief that he pulled into his street. He was surprised to see Dee's car in the drive along with another car that he didn't recognize. Parking at the curb and forgetting his briefcase, he walked up to the front door, unlocked it and entered his house. Everything seemed quiet. He now recognized that his back was hurting, sharp pains between his shoulders. He almost staggered up the stairs, stumbling to his bedroom when he passed the guest room. He heard sounds, turned and saw Denise, naked on the bed with a guy between her legs, pumping away.

Arch stood frozen for a moment. He then felt an agonizing pain in his chest, like a vise tightening, crushing him. He reached out to steady himself, finding nothing to grasp. He managed to moan before he collapsed to the floor, sinking into a black pool of darkness.

********************

Denise Meader lay quietly, her mind wandering. This, her first fling into extra-marital sex, wasn't turning out as she had thought. She had hoped that taking a lover would banish self doubts about her desirability, and her fears of entering middle-age. She had hoped that a lover would make her feel youthful and sensual. It wasn't working. She almost smiled; it had been so easy to seduce Hal Wallin, another senior account executive. He was in his early fifties and had been divorced for over a year now. All it took was a smile and a lunch. He was so eager to get into her pants that he almost swallowed his tongue when she suggested a drink after lunch at her place. From there into bed was a short hop.

Now she lay there, waiting for him to climax and finish. She knew that this was a mistake, a futile effort to bring some excitement and change into her life - a life which had become dull and empty. As she lay there waiting, she wondered why it had all come to this. She loved her husband, or lat least she thought she did. She knew that her bouts with depression and lack of self-confidence were trying for him. She wondered if he had had affairs and she realized that if he had she couldn't really blame him. She didn't even remember when the last time they made love. 

A moan and then a thud woke her from her musing. Turning her head she saw a figure crumpled in the doorway to the room. Fear burst into her heart and she pushed Hall away from her, ignoring his protest. Scrambling to her feet she ran to Arch and turned him on his back. She was shocked at his pallor and she knew that something was terribly wrong.

"Arch, Arch, don't you dare die on me. Hold on, I'm getting help." Moving to the bed she grabbed a pillow and propped it under his head.

"Hal, you had better get out. This was a stupid mistake, it won't happen again. Now move."

Denise then grabbed the phone and called 911. She quickly dressed and cradled Arch in her arms until the medics ran up the stairs and attended to him.

********************

Arch came awake slowly, the noises of his environment filtering into his consciousness. Voices, movement - suddenly aware of a soft beeping behind him. With a soft gasp he became aware of pain, a stabbing sensation in his chest. He opened his eyes and saw the nurse's station not far from him. A woman in scrubs was sitting there, working on a folder. Arch knew where he was - he had been here before, but not as a patient.

He turned his head and saw Denise sitting there, her eyes closed. Her face look drawn and wan. A sudden feeling of deep sadness and loss came over him. He knew that his marriage was over, irrevocably over and tears came to his eyes. He closed them and slept. 

Arch awoke again and saw Denise looking at him. She rose and came to him, taking his hand in hers. "Arch, thank goodness. You had a heart attack and they did a triple bypass. They said that you're going to be fine, as good as new. There wasn't too much damage.............." Denise had to stop, she had choked up, tears were flowing down her cheeks and she couldn't continue.

Arch nodded, he understood. Turning his head, he said softly, "Denise, I want you to go home now. Do you understand? I want you to leave now and please, don't visit again. Please do that for me. I need to think and I can't do that now. I want you to go home and please, do not come back here again."

Denise had turned ashen and she had to steady herself. "My God, Arch. Please don't do this - not now. Please, Arch......"

Arch was shaking his head. "Please do as I say. I don't want you here. Just do as I say. Go home. Stay home. Don't come here.........." His voice faltered, grew weak. He closed his eyes and slept.

The next few days went by slowly. Arch gained strength; he walked the hallways with a nurse, wearing a heart monitor which hung from a strap around his neck. A steady progression of visitors, colleagues from all over the hospital, drifted in to pay their respects and wish him well. Denise never returned. Five days after the surgery, his cardiologist sat down with him.

"Arch, I'm discharging you today. You've made excellent progress and you should be fine. I'll want to see you in my office a week from today and I've left instructions for you with the nurse. Don't overdo it. You're to stay home and do light exercise like walking short distances. You can lengthen the walks as you gain more strength - it's all spelled out in the instructions. Now listen, Arch. Don't be a horses ass and try to return to work before you should. Get your strength back, ok? All right, any questions?"

Arch sat and thought a moment. "Teddy, I guess I really owe you for saving my life. No, no, don't shake your head. I want you to know that I appreciate your skills as well as the surgical skills of Jack, my surgeon. I'll thank him also when I see him later on. I have to tell you though - I'm not going to be going home. I've made arrangements for a room at Pineview, the rehab center. I'll spend a week or so there until I'm ready to return to work. When I leave there I'll be living at a furnished condo that I just leased a couple of blocks from the hospital. I'll leave my change of address with Alice, your nurse." 

Arch saw the look of concern on Teddy's face. "Shit happens, Ted. That's all I can say now. Don't ask me any questions, ok?"

As soon as Arch moved into his room at the rehab center he called Sean Riley, his attorney and friend for many years. Sean and his wife Susan had come to see him while he was still in the hospital. Everyone now seemed to know that Denise was staying away, but no one brought that subject up with Arch. It seemed that everyone was perceptive enough to avoid that subject.

"Arch, how are you feeling? You sound better, are you home yet?" 

"I'm feeling much better, Sean. Thanks for asking. The reason I'm calling is to ask you to draw up divorce papers. Denise and I are separating. Look, Sean," Arch continued. "Please, don't ask me any questions right now. Just cite irreconcilable differences, that seems to be the phrase de jure these days. I'll talk to you in a few days and give you more details. Do me a big favor and just do as I ask."

********************

The weeks passed, Arch was back to work and now living in a rented two bedroom condo. He had had no contact with Denise and firmly insisted, when speaking with Sean, that he would not speak with her or deal with her. All contact would be through their attorneys. He proposed that all assets be divided equally except for the house. He wanted nothing from the house but his clothing, computer and various personal effects and papers. Denise could keep the house. He had no interest in it.

It was approximately four weeks after returning to work that Arch looked up from his desk and saw Dr. Bernie Green standing in his doorway. "It looks like your secretary took her lunch hour, Arch," he rumbled. "You know the old adage, 'if Mohammed won't come to the mountain, etc. etc......," he continued as he moved to a chair in from of Arch's desk.

Arch sighed and put down his pen. "Sorry, Bernie. I did get your message but it's really been crazy here. I just haven't had time to get back to you." Arch then hesitated when he saw the look on Bernie's face. "Okay, Bernie. Enough bullshit. I just really didn't want to hear what you were going to say to me. I'm pretty sure that Denise has spoken to you, but it makes no difference. I have had enough, Bernie. I want out. Do you understand?"

Bernie sighed heavily and nodded. "Okay, Arch. I understand, but it was incumbent upon me to try to speak with you. Denise is distraught and on the verge of a breakdown. I know, I know, you don't want to hear it........."

Arch interrupted him. "Goddamnit, Bernie. I've been through all of that. She always on the verge of a breakdown. She's a natural depressive and has been since she discovered that she couldn't have children. Living with her since that time has been an ordeal - she's very good at feeling sorry for herself. Well, now she really has something to feel sorry about. You know, Bernie - in a way I'm glad that she betrayed our marriage, glad that she screwed another man. It gave me the boost to finally do something about my life, although to tell the truth I could have done without the heart attack and bypass surgery," he stated wryly. "Look, Bernie. Enough is enough," he concluded.

"Okay, Arch, okay. I surrender. I just thought that I would give it a shot. Sometimes the end is really just the end. I'll continue to see Denise, I'll help her all I can. She is a very confused and bewildered woman. She is at a complete loss as to why she did what she did. Oh, she knows the superficial reasons, crossing over to middle-age, a sense of loss of her youth, etc. etc. What she doesn't understand is why that should have made her act in such a stupid manner. She feels that she must have been 'brain dead', her words. Okay, Arch. Enough. Keep in touch though, please?"

Arch rose, shook Bernie's hand and escorted him out of the office. He returned to his desk and sat, unable now to get his mind back on his work. "Brain dead," he thought. "Perhaps Dee had been brain dead for quite awhile. He shook his head and picked up his pen, getting back to the monthly reports.

********************

Denise didn't contest the divorce and it didn't take long for it to become final. She received the papers in the mail one morning and sat at the kitchen table, allowing the flimsies to flutter to the floor. Dee was filled with a sense of emptiness, recognizing that a good portion of her life had now ended. She didn't think that the impact would be as devastating, didn't realize how deep her sorrow would be. It wasn't until the final papers were in her hand did she come to the realization of what she had lost. It was now, now that she was totally severed from Arch, did she realize how much she loved him. The old adage crept into her thoughts, 'you never know what you have until you've lost it'. She lowered her head to the table and wept.

********************

The weeks turned into months and it was now close to a year since the Meader's divorce. Arch had purchased the condo he had leased and had had it redone: painted, new carpeting and new furniture. He even had new appliances installed in the kitchen and had turned into a fairly decent cook. He had immersed himself in his work and really had no desire to become more social or date. He was content, or at least he thought he was.

His few really close friends from the hospital had kept in touch and he was invited to dinner at their houses occasionally. He knew that they were concerned about him, but were smart enough to never bring up Denise or the divorce. They did try to encourage him to begin seeing a few women in their social circle who were available and had evidenced some interest, but for some reason he really didn't have any desire to begin any kind of relationship with any women.

One morning, as Arch was working at his desk, his secretary buzzed to inform him that Dr. Green was on the line. Arch frowned, hesitated and then told Gail to put him through.

"Hello there, Arch. Have you been avoiding me?" rumbled Bernie. "Just because I was your wife's shrink shouldn't put obstacles between us."

Arch had to smile. "Not really, Bernie. It has been some time since I've seen you, but believe me, it's not been intentional. We're friends, and we have been for years."

"Good, Arch. I'm glad to remembered that. Then you won't mind meeting me for a couple of beers at Clancy's after work. I don't keep beer at home, I would be guzzling it all the time. So I make it out every week or so for a couple of brews. I want you to join me, I need the company. How about it, Arch?" Bernie asked.

"Bernie, you aren't trying to sandbag me, are you?" 

"Huh? What sandbag? Ohhhhhh, I see what you're saying. Nah, Arch. You know I'm not devious. All I want is someone to drink with, and you're the unlucky guy I chose this time."

"Ok, Bernie. I'll meet you at Clancy's around 6. 

After that call Arch sat back, put his feet up on his desk and laced his fingers behind his head. "Was Bernie being honest with him," he thought. "Did he have an ulterior motive for this meeting?" he wondered. His thoughts once again returned to his ex-wife. He tried to examine his feelings. He thought that he had put her out of his mind, but his thoughts kept returning to Denise and the early years of their marriage. He had finally come to the conclusion that he was far from "over" Dee. He knew that he still had feelings for her. He also knew that that would eventually pass. He knew that he couldn't put himself through that emotional wringer again. Could he? "Nah," he thought. "Never again, enough is enough."

Bernie was waiting in a booth when Arch entered the saloon. The place had an almost old fashioned feeling. Dark woods, red upholstered bar stools and a long, polished oak bar that seemed to stretch forever. Mike Clancy waved from behind the bar as he made his way to where Bernie was seated. Arch seated himself across from Bernie and breathed a sigh.

"It's good to relax, Bernie. Thanks for the invite, I could use a couple of brews."

"Coming up, Arch. Jackie is headed our way right now," he commented as the bar girl placed two frosted Pilsner glasses before them as well as two bottle of ice cold beer. "Okay, gents. Enjoy but don't get plastered," she laughed as she moved away.

The two friends chatted and sippled their beers. When the glasses were empty they motioned for refills and went through them also. Their conversation ranged from the local sports teams, some funny tales from the medical center, but as always, Bernie never commented upon his patients or incidents thereof. Finally Arch noted that Bernie was struggling to contain himself. He had been fidgeting for some time now and a loopy smile would come over his face every once in awhile.

Arch looked askance at him and finally asked the question. "Okay, Bernie. What's biting your behind. You look like the cat that caught the mouse.:

Bernie finally broke down and laughed, again with that idiotic smile. "Arch, I'm seeing a wonderful gal and I wanted you to know. I think it's serious, at least it is on my part."

Arch was delighted. "Damn, that's great, Bernie. I'm really glad for you. You deserve someone nice; it's been too long alone for you. You need someone in your life. Okay, now tell me about her."

Bernie had stopped grinning like the Cheshire Cat and had a small smile on his face. "You know her, Arch. It's Debra, Denise's sister. We've been seeing each other and I think we're going to get married. I'm steeling myself to ask her."

Arch sat there dumbfounded, his mouth agape. He didn't know what to say - this was a complete shock to him. He knew that Bernie had met Debra, in fact that had happened at their house at a dinner party. Gathering himself together, Arch smiled in return and extended his hand to Bernie. 




Is Enough Really Enough?



"Pal, shake my hand. I wish you the very best and I hope that you and Deb have years of happiness ahead of you. I'm really happy for both of you."

Arch had made the proper response and he was truly happy for Bernie. So why did he suddenly feel an ache inside. A wistful feeling of "what might have been." An emptiness that he had repressed The words were on the tip of his tongue. He almost asked, "Bernie, how's Denise? Have you seen her? Is she doing well?" He grimaced, realizing that he had almost slipped. He really didn't want to ask those questions, although he was honest enough to admit that he really wanted answers to them.

Bernie smiled sadly. He could almost feel the turmoil in his friend and he really didn't know how he could help. Arch had to find his own resolution and at the present he had to fight this battle alone. It wasn't too much longer before the two friends shook hands again and parted, promising to stay in touch.

********************

"Dee, how much longer are you going to continue to beat yourself. It's been three years since the divorce and you continue to live almost like a hermit. You don't date, you don't socialize with men. Damn, Denise, it's not healthy," exclaimed Debra. "I bet you don't even remember the last time you got laid."

Denise turned to her sister swiftly. "Oh, yes I do, Deb. I will never forget that. That was the beginning of the end of my marriage. That's one thing that I'll never forget. I'll never forget Arch lying in the doorway. That picture will always haunt me." Her voice broke and she had to stop.

"Damn, I'm sorry, Dee. I totally forgot. Shit, me and my big mouth. Please forgive me," Debra begged.

"Oh, Deb. I'm sorry that I snapped at you. That just brought back some lousy memories," Dee sighed. "Let me tell you, sis. The events of that day and the divorce following it changed me. I suddenly started to realize what I had become. For years I wallowed in a swamp of hurt feelings, I spent my days feeling so sorry for myself. I really don't understand how Arch put up with me for so many years. Instead of accepting my infertility and going on with my life, I just allowed myself to become a shrew, blaming the world for my inability to have children.

"I wasn't mature enough or strong enough to appreciate what I did have - a wonderful, loving husband and a pretty good career. I just dwelled on what I couldn't have and made my life miserable as well as Arch's. Bernie tried to bring me to that realization, but I resisted. I wasn't ready. Well, I sure woke up fast. It's just a shame that that wake-up call came just a little too late." Denise had started to tear up and had to stop.

Debra moved to her and held her for a moment, whispering, "It's alright, Dee. I understand, really." She finally released her, sat her down on a chair and got her a glass of water.

"Look, Dee. I really do understand what you've been going through, but you also have to understand that you can't keep shutting yourself away from the world. It's rather obvious that Arch isn't going to come through the front door and sweep you off your feet. You do know that that relationship is over. You have to accept that and move on. Please, Dee. Come with us to the spring fund raising dinner at the club. Bernie got you a ticket. At least you'll get out and mingle with some people - and before you ask, no, Arch won't be there. He is going to another board meeting that night."

Dee nodded wearily. "Okay, Deb. I know you're right. I'll go - why the hell not."

********************

Arch swivelled his chair around and gazed out of his office window. Autumn was well under way and he never failed to appreciate the dazzling display of colors that greeted his eyes. Sighing, he turned back to his desk and opened the newspaper. "It's still early," he thought as he sipped his coffee. "I'll just relax with the paper and finish the coffee."

He read the front section, finding nothing of too much interest. The next section was Society. Arch smiled and was about to toss it aside, when he saw the picture under the fold. It was Denise who was standing with a tall, distinguished looking man. The caption read: British nobleman and local woman announce their engagement.

Arch sat there, numbly, in shock. The paper had fallen from his hands. A terrible sense of loss again pervaded his heart and he put his head in his hands, letting the tears come.

********************

(This is not a serial story. Here we have a beginning, a middle and an ending. It's a truism that writing endings are difficult. I went back and forth on this one a few times before coming to the realization that it's very possible that Arch and Dee's story could very well end this way. Arch is alone and unhappy and it's possible that Denise found someone with whom she could share her life. Is it possible that I may, at some time, revisit Arch and Dee? I truly don't know - perhaps, or perhaps not. It might be fun to again peek into what life has in store for them.)