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I Love You More

By: PTBzzzz



There is no overt sex in this story. If you do not like stories about faithful partners and loving families please move on. Most of you know what I write by now. 

The story is longer than I usually submit. I like it the way it is. I, alone, am responsible for the content. If you like it, or not, blame me. 

*********************************

Bill's story

BANG

"Court is adjourned".

Like a zombie I turned and shook my lawyer's hand. As he and I walked out of the courtroom together I realized I had never felt this alone. We parted on the courthouse steps. He went down the street to his office; I wandered around the park across from the courthouse for about an hour.

As I returned to claim my car I saw Janice on one of the benches. She looked like the world was closing in on her. I thought "Screw her! She was the one who wanted a divorce!" 

I smiled as I walked past her, God it hurt! 

The worst of the whole thing was she would not say why.

For the next couple of months all I did was go to work and come home. I was living in a small hole in the wall. It was clean and had everything I needed to exist. I had 2 stacks of newspapers, each 6 feet high. I spent my time trying to read; the papers, books, and magazines even the instruction manual to my new TV. The same TV I had turned on just once, just to be sure it worked. 

I had no desire to socialize in any form. Parties; no need to go to them I'll just make everyone else miserable. Some people who I thought were friends dropped me like a hot coal.

It was about 10:30 on Friday when I glanced up to see the boss looking over my shoulder. How long had I been sitting there doing nothing? I had no idea. 

"Meet me in the lobby in 15 minutes". Then he walked away. Tom was a good man who knew how to get the most out of people. He became almost a father figure to me after mine died of cancer in my senior year of high school. Mom approved of his influence on me.

I started working for him while I was in high school and all the way through college. I started as his first employee, part time. As the company grew I moved up the ladder. From 14 hours a week to office manager in 10 years. 

I didn't want to go out to lunch with him but I had no choice.

He was a lot gentler than I expected.

"Remember your first year in college?"

I nodded yes.

"I went through a nasty divorce that year, I'm sure you remember. I was useless for a long while. You were the one who kept the company open."

I remembered the time. I didn't think I did all that much.

"I have allowed you to try to find your way, but you are still lost. You can't keep on like this. Neither you nor the company can afford it. You are a miserable wreck. Without you guiding the office they are falling behind in their work. You know what that means better than I. You are to go back to your office after this meal, pack your things and take the next 2 weeks as vacation to pull your head out of your ass."

I know I was wide eyed. My throat was dry and I was unable to utter any sound other than a few grunts and coughs.

"When those 2 weeks are completed you will call me and tell me if I need to hire a new Office Manager. I want the old you back and running things, I have big plans for both of us and the company."

I could only nod to confirm that I understood.

As I walked out of the office that day, with my little box of things, the surprised looks on everyone's faces sent chills down my spine. 

I knew where I had to go!

I drove to my mouse hole and packed a few necessary things and hit the road. Five hours later I was driving on the dustiest road it had ever been my misfortune to be on. As I rounded the last turn all the old familiar sights came up over the top of the hill. I paused at the highest point and just looked around.

I took a deep breath and spent the next minutes paying for that. The dust had caught up to me and was all around me. The heat was oppressive, well over 100, the mouthful of dust made it even worse. I took a few gulps of, the now cold, coffee, it lasted awful. "Thank God that washed most of the dust out." I almost felt human for just a moment.

I slowly drove down the hill to the little house near the base of the rock cliff. It seemed as if I was greeted by every dog in the world.

The voice was weaker than I remembered. The accent was the same; the words were just a little slower. "...'bout time ya showed up. I figured you to be here a month ago or better."

I braced for the blow to the shoulder that I knew would follow. It was not a tiny love tap.

"I guess you heard about the divorce? I have no idea what happened. I lost my wife, my best and oldest friend, and the person who kept me sane all those years; at the same time."

I slowly pried my body off of the sticky, sweat soaked vinyl seats in my car and almost fell over when my feet hit the ground. The big bear hug kept me upright until my head stopped spinning. I should have stopped to eat, after I couldn't eat at lunch. Actually I had hardly eaten anything since the divorce. I was starving and didn't care

"Leave your stuff here, Mammy is waiting on us in the house."

"OK Pappy." I responded.

These were the smartest, most logical people I knew. They were my Momma's mother and father. If anyone could set me straight; they would do it.

I returned the bear hug and we shook hands. It took almost a minute before we stopped the strong handshake contest and called a draw. I knew he was taking it easy on me like always.

"You know she has called here for you 4 times in the last few weeks."

I cut him short "She can go to hell as far as I care."

"It don't pay to be rude boy. I know you are upset and I am gonna overlook that one. Don't let it happen again."

I just followed him like a chastised puppy with its tail tucked between the legs.

I found her in the kitchen. Where else would she be? She carefully set the old knife down and turned to look me up and down. 

She looked to be nothing but skin and bones, I knew differently. The bear hug she gave me confirmed that. "You know she still loves you. She realizes now that she made the biggest mistake of her life."

"I don't want to talk about that bi...." 

I woke a bit later, my jaw felt like it was broken. Mammy sat to the side of the couch, silently reading her book. I moaned in pain.

"That was a love tap compared to what you will get from Pappy if you talk like that again; 'specially if it is in front of me or addressed to me. I know how angry you are, but he won't stand for that kinda talk."

"Yes Mammy, I'm sorry."

"Don't you be too sorry, what she done weren't right; I told her so. You have every right to be angry. Just watch how you say things."

Pappy had heard our conversation and came into the room. He was flexing his hand like it hurt. "You got the hardest head I ever saw. Like Mammy said you have every right to be angry, next time just turn and walk out before you open your mouth. I don't know how many more times I can hit you like that."

"Yes Pappy, I'm sorry."

"So tell us about your job." she said, changing the subject.

We talked for another couple of hours before all the coffee from the drive demanded my attention. I tried to stand up and almost fell on my face. I managed to walk slowly to the bath and get on the commode.

In the other room I heard her "You hit him too hard!" It was almost whispered.

"Nope, just right!" was all he said.

When I returned she was in the kitchen again.

I managed to get to the couch again and sat down quickly before my spinning head made me fall again.

My mind drifted back over the years. 

We met in church school. My first recollection of her was on Christmas when we were 3. The bright red dress she wore was beautiful; it's still my favorite memory. The long blond hair hung around her head like a halo, against the morning sun shining in through the classroom window. Her father always dressed her so nicely. 

I know we were always together in the church as we were born 2 months apart. We started in nursery and stayed in the same classes until we graduated. We just gravitated toward each other and stayed that way. By the start of school we were good friends. School was different; she went to the north school while I went to the east school. By high school we were together again.

There was one fellow, Jimmy Schmidt, who thought she was his alone. One afternoon in the late fall he challenged me to a fight for her. I told him "No." and turned to walk away. The shadows were long that day; I watched them as he started after me. At the last possible second I stepped to my right, he ran right into the big oak tree that I had been walking toward. I just left him there as I walked out the back gate to the school yard. I guess he felt safe, shall we say invisible, in that area because only a few of us used it.

The next day Janice was beyond angry at me. She chewed me out and left me standing there wondering what he said I had done. 

I was called into the office. The sheriff was there as were 2 sets of parents. Principal Moore started out the proceedings by having Jimmy give his side of the story. He accused me of sucker punching him and beating him badly while he was down. As he finished his 20 minute recitation he smirked, until his father pinched him on the arm.

I just sat there silently waiting for my turn. I said was "If I beat him that badly, my hands would be hurt. Are they? Those are scrapes on his face not bruises like you would get from fists. I bet if you go out to the old oak you will find his skin on the bark. He was so angry because I wouldn't fight him that he tried to attack me from behind, he missed. His face hit the tree about 4 feet from the ground." I didn't need to mention that he was muscle bound and I was a scrawny almost nerd.

My mother pulled out the clothes I wore the day before and lay them on the desk; they were reasonably clean, obviously worn for a time. She had been told to bring them, but not why. The sheriff looked them over "No one was rolling around in that dust out back in these. You can only see a bit of dust around the cuffs."

We all went out to see the scene of the crime. There were pieces of skin in many spots on the tree right about the level I had indicated he hit the tree. There were some small spots of blood on the ground.

You could see that what I said was the truth; between the skin, the blood, and the markings in the dust from our shoes his goose was cooked. His father frog marched him over to apologize. He got in school suspension for 3 weeks and no after school activities for 3 months. The school quarterback was going to miss the last 3 games of the year.

The sheriff said there would be a file on this incident; if there were any other acts against me then charges would be filed against him.

I returned to classes. The last class that day I saw Janice again. When she saw me enter the room she moved to a far corner away from me. After class I tried to tell her the truth. She slapped me right in front of Principal Moore. We were both escorted to the office.

As soon as the sheriff was there we were asked to explain what happened. I asked if the sheriff would explain his findings from the morning first. As he lay out the details of the previous days assault Janice started to look sicker and sicker. 

When the sheriff stated that it looked like he was going to have to bring charges against Jimmy I spoke up. "When did you speak to Jimmy last?"

"I only spoke to him this morning on the bus when he told me you beat him up in such a cowardly way. I only saw him in the hall for a few moments when classes were changing around 10."

"Jimmy has not had a chance to tell you about the meeting in the office?"

She shook her head "No."

"I see no reason to charge him then. May I leave now?"

As I turned to leave Janice was being told she was off the cheer squad for a month. I turned back and said "Please, don't do that, she only did what she thought was correct. Remember she was lied to." 

I was motioned out the door.

At supper that evening the phone rang, Dad answered it. I heard "OK. See you then."

45 minutes later there was a knock on the door. Dad looked at me and said "It's for you, answer it." Then he went back to reading his paper.

I opened the door to find a mass of blond hair hurtling toward me. There was sobbing and a pitiful cry of "I'm so sorry!" Arms wrapped around me and hung on tight.

I stood there embarrassed and at a loss for words until she relaxed her hold.

It was cool that evening but we sat on the porch swing out of the breeze. I asked her what she was going on about.

Janice told me the story as she understood it from Jimmy. Then she thanked me for standing up for him and her. "At your request they decided to forgo the suspension from cheer squad. I decided I would accept the punishment anyway. I am sorry for not asking your side of the story before judging you." The crying started again.

Not knowing how she felt about Jimmy or me either for that matter, I didn't say anything. I just held her hand and waited for her to continue. 

"I trusted him, my friends all said he was bad for me; that he would use me and drop me. We have been in school together since 1st grade. He used to pull my hair and tease me; then he seemed to change, he became nicer, more polite. I heard rumors of what he did with other girls and thought the people who told me were jealous because they wanted to be with him. Lately he has been a little more demanding and more suggestive; it bothered me the way he was. He always apologized the next day and smoothed things over. I was getting tired of his behavior. I don't want to be with him any more."

I was not sure what to say, Janice was spilling her heart to me. I just knew I worshiped the ground she walked on. "Janice, I guess you need to decide these things for yourself. If I try to help you; then you might make a decision that you will regret later and blame me for guiding you toward it. Just know you have a friend to talk to, I won't judge you whatever you decide."

We talked about another 30 minutes before her parents pulled up in front of the house. "I have to go! Thanks for listening to me tonight. May I call you from time to time?"

I told her "I would like that."

She kissed me on the cheek and ran down to the car. She smiled as she got in.

We talked often after that. Starting after New Years she began to hint that she needed a date for the Valentines dance. Finally one of her friends stopped me in the hall between classes and told me Janice wanted me to take her to the dance and was frustrated that I had not asked her yet. I told the friend I had planned to ask her on Sunday after youth meeting at church and asked her to keep it a secret. I knew she wouldn't; and I knew she didn't from Janice's smile the next day. 

The dance was incredible, Janice only danced with me. Many others asked but she turned them all down, including Jimmy. He was just off suspension.

My dad drove us to and her dad drove us from the dance. I saw Jimmy and some of his friends walking in our direction as we left the dance; her dad did too and stepped out of the car to make sure he was seen. The boys held back and did a sharp turn around. This was not missed by Principal Moore.

On Monday the sheriff was there again. "You boys are going to become their guardian angels. If I get wind of anything happening to them I will run the entire bunch of you up on every charge I can think of! Is that understood?"

Finally one of the boys spoke up "Yes Dad we understand. DON"T WE?" he said turning to the rest.

There was a lot of mumbling indicating acceptance and they were sent to class.

Mammy called from the kitchen and Pappy went in to see her. They both brought out supper on lap trays. The soup was the best thing I had eaten in the last, too many months. 

When I went up to bed Pappy had brought in my bag, I guess while I was out. I slept better that night than I had in a long time.

The next morning I woke at about 10, the entire world was already up and doing the things they had to do. I heard Mammy on the phone as I came down the stairs.

"No, you may not come out here. I told you he was not here the last time and you drove all the way out here for nothing. 

I understand you are sorry.

When I hear from him and if the time is right I will tell him. 

Leave him alone, he will contact you if he wishes to talk. 

You have no idea how badly you have hurt him.

I doubt you are hurting as badly as he is, you caused it. You could've stopped any time.

Stop crying and own up to your actions.

What you did to him was WRONG. 

Well if you were not ready for children you should have told him, not divorced him." Then she looked up to see what the noise I made on the steps was and saw me. "I need to go, when I hear from him I will tell him." And she hung up the phone. 

There was no stopping me. 

"THAT WAS WHY!?" I was out the door and as far away as my legs would take my before they buckled. 

Pappy came along about 20 minutes later and threw a thermos of coffee and a sandwich to me. Then he rode the horse to a shady spot near a shallow pool in the creek to wait for me when I was ready to talk.

About an hour later I was getting too hot out there in the sun. As I approached he watched me. "Ya had no idea did ya?"

What could I say; I really had no idea that was the problem. We only talked about children twice. The first time was before the wedding, the last was about 3 months before she started to get strange on me.

The tears started to flow for the first time since the divorce. One of the dogs that always followed Pappy came up and settled into my lap to cuddle. I slowly stroked her long, soft ears as I cried.

"She has got to be kidding!"

He shook his head back and forth to indicate "No."

I had no idea what to do next. Do I yell, jump up and rant and rave like some sort of idiot, do I cry some more, do I drive back and confront her. In the end I sat there and stroked the pup's ears for a long time. I just stared in front of me; I really had no thoughts except that those were the softest ears I could remember and how comforting it was to hold her.

"That is Rhoda, short for Rhododendron. She is the best at cuddling. See the little black one over by the big tuft of grass? That's her child. We call her Ink spot. She promises to be just as good."

At the mention of her name she came waddling over to her mother. I reached out with my other hand to pet her too.

"She never took to another person before; you must be special to her." Then Rhoda climbed down and with a little encouragement her baby climbed onto my lap. Every now and then Rhoda would adjust her child or show her to do something. 

As I sat leaning against the tree I must have drifted off to sleep. I woke to find the puppy still there, licking my hand and whimpering softly. I wiggled my fingers and she jumped as if startled. The whimpering got a bit louder.

"Go ahead and get down" I gave a tiny push with a finger. She ran over to a dirt spot and piddled then ran back to me and looked. I patted my lap and made a soft kissing sound. She climbed back on, lay down and put her nose under my hand. She lifted the hand over her head again. "Good girl" I sat and stroked her ears again. I was at peace for the first in a long time.

The sun was getting low to the horizon before I got up to go back to the house again. The pup ran along side of me, jumping and licking at my hands. I had been adopted. Rhoda was not too far off toward the horizon, she was supervising.

When I got back to the house all was quiet, there was a pot of the same soup as the day before on the back of the stove. I had not eaten much all day, I had 2 bowls. Even cold it was so good.


I Love You More



I was still wide awake, having slept in and napped during the day so I went out to sit on the steps. I made the kissing noise, Rhoda and her pup came running from somewhere down in the yard. Rhoda lay on my left side and the pup climbed into my lap and settled down as I leaned back on the big post at the end of the railing. 

My mind drifted back to continue the story of my life; I was trying to determine if I had done anything wrong.

Shortly after the episode with Jimmy Schmidt, I turned 16 and got my license. That summer I applied for and got a job at the Burger Barn out on the edge of town. 

One day after I got off work in the afternoon I was approached by Tom, my now boss, he asked; "How many hours do they give you here each week?"

"I usually get about 10 to 12."

"I have been watching the way you work; you are always busy while the others stand around a lot. I have been looking for a person to work part time so I can get out and find more customers. If you are interested call me and we can talk. I can work your hours around this job and school if you like."

I took the business card and put it in my shirt pocket and forgot about it. I had a date with Janice and didn't want to be late.

The card was still in my pocket when Mom did the laundry. She always checked to be sure there was nothing in the pockets before washing. She put the card on the dryer and loaded the washer. When she brought everything she had removed from the pockets up a few days later it was placed in the little basket on the kitchen counter. 

The next day Dad asked where the card came from. I told him about the man who stopped me and offered me the job.

"Tom is a real fine man" he told me. "He started out working for me, just out of school. It turned out that carpentry was not his idea of a long term job and he left after giving me time to find a replacement. He was a good learner and an eager worker. If he asked to work for me again I would hire him in an instant. If he offered you the job, I bet it is yours to accept. You could do a lot worse than working for him."

I put the card on my dresser and looked at it off and on for a couple of days. Finally I called. The phone was busy so I left a message. He called back just after supper that evening. He invited me to come in to see what he did and talk.

I stopped by on my way to work the next morning. I left about an hour later with a second job. When school started the burger barn job would end. I would work for Tom 2 hours each day as soon as I could get there and 4 hours on Saturday mornings. If he was aware of who my father was he never let on. He did come to the funeral for Dad, but the casket was closed. He spoke to Mom for a while and left.

The first rays of the sun were beginning to light up the valley, the roosters began to call. The farm slowly woke up. Both pups were still with me, neither had moved during the night.

Mammy looked out the screen door and sighed. "There you are, I didn't hear you come in last night and your bed was unused. ...was afraid I would need to send Pappy out to look for ya. Coffee will be ready in about 10 minutes."

A few minutes later Pappy was at the door. "Ya been thinkin' boy? Guess as much as you slept yesterday ya weren't tired."

I nodded.

"...see ya got a couple of friends there. Come on in when you're ready, coffee is self serve around here. Mammy will have breakfast in a bit, after I go and get the eggs."

Soon I heard the back door close and he was out to begin his daily chores.

I was up and following him as he went about his chores. In no time I was helping him. We were collecting the eggs for breakfast when I blurted out "Why does love have to hurt like this?"

We both stopped and looked at each other. It had been no more than a thought that came out. He just stood there for a minute and finally said "Guess if it didn't you would know it wasn't love."

We said nothing else; Mammy was waiting on the eggs. The sausage and toast smelled good as we came into the house.

My jaw was still sore, but the food tasted too wonderful to stop eating because of the pain.

We didn't talk much about my problems for the rest of my stay. Occasionally I would have an epiphany and make a comment; sometimes they answered back. We spent most of the time repairing and painting the outside of the barns and house. My idle time was spent with the dogs; they seemed to give me all the answers. Who knew?

As I got ready to leave on the final day there were hugs and kisses all around. I looked around for the little pup; she was nowhere to be found. I sat in the car and heard a slight noise from behind. There she was with a bag of food, 2 bowls and some other things. Before I could tell them I was not allowed to have a dog where I lived Mammy spoke, "Take her to your Mom's they will watch over each other until you get settled in a place where you can have her. We already talked."

I got back out and kissed and hugged them again and just said "Thanks for everything."

On the way home I decided to name her Snowball. She was lying in the other front seat, having moved from the back. She wagged her tail when I told her.

When I was close to town I called Tom and told him "...the old me is not coming back. How would you like to try out the new me?"

He sounded intrigued. "Will I see you on Monday morning?"

"You might see me before then if you drop in the office."

He came in about 3:30 on Saturday afternoon. All the furniture was pulled away from the walls; I was halfway through painting them. The furniture was all in the secretary's area except for the big desk. It sat in the middle of the room covered in paper. As he stood there gawking he jumped, a cold nose was pressed into the back of his hand. I looked over and smiled. "Meet the new love of my life, this is Snowball." At my silent command she held a paw out to him.

Janice's story

BANG

"Court is adjourned".

I had what I wanted, a divorce. Why did I suddenly feel like my world was closing in on me? He gave me everything I asked for. I was allowed to stay in the house his father built for us, well for me. He put everything into it that I asked for; the layout was what I wanted. It was my dream house.

I watched as he left the court room with his lawyer. Why did Bill look so defeated? He almost dragged his feet like he was hoping it was all a big joke and someone would yell "Surprise!"

Until it was over I had no idea how much he was hurting. I had no idea how much I was going to hurt! I left the room long after he did, I saw him as he slowly walked around the park. I waited on the bench to speak to him. As he came back around he saw me there. He put on the biggest smile he could, held his head high and walked past me never looking my way. I saw the tears in his eyes as he went by. I was frozen in place; not daring to move as he went past, the lump in my throat mocked me and I could not speak if my life depended on it. 

I watched him drive away after a while. Almost 2 hours later it began a light shower. I still sat on the bench. Between the tears and feeling absolutely numb I was almost soaked before I got up to go to my car and head home. I walked into the house and everything was exactly as I had left it that morning, but everything seemed wrong. I had no appetite, I munched on some grapes and a few crackers then went to bed. It was only 6:00. 

I woke the next morning and reached over to hold Bill; it took a moment to realize why he wasn't there. I needed to use the bathroom very badly. When I tried to stand my head spun, I dropped back to sit on the bed. Despite having slept for more than 12 hours I was still tired; I actually felt worse than when I went to bed. As I made my way to the bath the tears started to flood my face. I cried until I had nothing left to give. I washed my face, as I looked in the mirror I did not recognize the puffy face looking back at me.

In the kitchen I made some coffee, it just sat there until it was cold. Then I made the first of hundreds of calls to try fixing the damage I had done. It went straight to his answering machine. Why was I not surprised?

Every other day I called and left the same message, toward the end of a month the machine responded with "This recorder is full please try again later." For the next week I called every day to get the same message. I tried calling him at work to be told he was not accepting phone calls or messages at this time. I tried to ambush him when he got off work but his car was not there. I waited; if he was there he slipped out another way.

I called his mother; she was not sympathetic to my plight. I called Mammy and Pappy each week, they were polite but always said he wasn't there. Seven months after the divorce I was desperate; I called him in the middle of the night. When he heard my voice he simply, forcefully said "NO!" and hung up.

13 months after the divorce I agreed to meet an old friend from school. I guess Bill told you about Jimmy Schmidt. I agreed to meet him for lunch. We met at The Old Saloon; they were nice, had good food and were moderately priced. We met on the parking lot and walked in together. I didn't notice the foursome dining in the corner. After we were seated I saw Bill's boss Tom sitting there looking at me. There were 2 older ladies facing away from us. I didn't recognize the other man sitting there. He was tall and thin, but quite muscular, with a full, nicely shaped beard. Tom looked like he nudged the man and spoke to him. The man looked my way, his eyes burned into mine and never blinked. I knew those eyes instantly, it was Bill. I inhaled deeply and heard myself say "Oh God, NO!" 

I could not look away.

I heard my voice saying "This was a big mistake! I need to leave!"

I ran as fast as I could from the restaurant. I left half of my tires on the lot as I could not get out of there fast enough.

Shortly after no one noticed the bearded man as he slowly left.

All the way home I could feel the disappointment from those eyes, I was surprised it was not hate. I could have dealt with hate; the disappointment was more than I could bear. 

The next week I got up the nerve to call one more time. I was told he was no longer at that facility, I asked to speak to Tom. 

When Tom came on the line I identified myself; I expected to hear him hang up. Instead he asked "How can I help you?" Everything came bursting out in a flood of emotion, I knew he was still there because he occasionally made a noise like "uh huh, OK. Yes...." or the most promising "...keep going." I must have talked for 20 minutes, he listened to every word.

When I finished I was drained, I almost missed what he said next "If it helps he forgave you months ago and moved on. I will relay the message to him. Can I do anything else for you?" 

I didn't know his phone was setup to record conversations so there would be no way someone could say he agreed to something on the phone that he didn't. Bill would hear the entire conversation.

In my shock I blurted out "No!" Then I thought and said "Please tell him I said thank you for the forgiveness, that might help me forgive myself. I still love him you know."

"I can tell. He will know."

"One more thing, I am sorry about breaking up your meeting the other day." Tom then indicated it was a business meeting that was almost over. He never did indicate where Bill had gone, I didn't ask.

It was almost 2 years later that the preacher asked for prayers for Bill's family as Mammy and Pappy had both died within days of each other.

I sent a sympathy card to his mother and another to Bill by way of Tom. About 2 weeks later I got a thank you card from Bill with a nice note enclosed, in Bill's handwriting, thanking me for my concern. 

The postmark was from a small town about 50 miles from The Ranch, as Pappy always called it. I checked with information and found that his company had a facility there. I called the number and asked for Mr. William D Katt only to be told he was away on business that week. When asked if I would like to leave a message I declined and hung up. I knew where to find him if I needed him, that took a lot of weight off my mind.

Only 6 months after that I heard from a friend that Bill's mother was just received at the hospital after having a mild heart attack. By the afternoon I was told she would be fine.

Since the deaths of her parents we had been speaking occasionally after church. We were on much better terms than before. I picked up a card and some flowers and for some reason I do not understand I placed my first diary after our divorce in a large envelope. I wrote on the envelope what it was and indicated when she was better I would appreciate her reading it. If she did not want to read it she could send it back unopened with the preacher.

She was sleeping when I got there so I left the things on her table. The next day I had a phone call, the raspy voice indicated she would keep the diary to read later. "Thank you so much for the card and flowers!" Then she had to go.

I went back 2 days later to find Bill in her room. My heart jumped; but I kept walking past and down the stairs at the end of the hall. I couldn't believe how good he looked and there was nothing on his ring finger. My heart was filled with joy. 

More from Bill

5 weeks after I returned from The Ranch, Tom went out of town for a week. I ran the entire facility while he was gone, just like always. I still missed Janice, but it was no longer the all consuming grief I had before. Snowball was staying with Mom for the time being. I went over most nights for supper and to do the chores that had been ignored since Dad died. She had a neighbor boy to mow the lawn and she weeded the gardens and such, but the house was starting to look a little shabby. I scraped, painted, caulked and fixed issues with the plumbing and electric. Soon the house was the showcase Dad always loved. I even moved some clothes in so I could spend the night if it got too late while I worked.

Snowball acclimated to her new live very quickly. She was always happy if I was there but Mom became an important person in her life too.

When Tom returned from his trip I was called into a meeting. He asked how I would like to return to the area near Mammy and Pappy. "I know how much you love it there; I have just finished negotiations to open a new facility in the area. I need you there to supervise the set up and get the ball rolling. I will continue to run this facility as always. Are you interested?"

This hit me from out of the blue, I decided I could use some time away from my home town and accepted. Mom would be fine now that the house was in good condition again. Tom called her and said "If an emergency comes up I will have him back in an instant. If something needs repair in a hurry I have a good maintenance man here at the plant that can do whatever you need."

"Now we need to decide who to take your place and the best candidate to groom for floor manager here." 

I gave my recommendations for both positions and the justifications for why. Tom picked up the phone and said "Send them both in."

John and Mary entered the room together with puzzled looks on their faces. After taking their seats Tom spoke "I need 2 persons who can keep a secret for about 2 weeks, if you don't feel that you can then you are excused from this meeting."

Both promised they would be able to do it.

Mary, you are the best operator we have. Will you be willing to become manufacturing supervisor at this plant? Before you answer, consider the fact that you most likely will need to relocate sometime in the future. Think on it for a minute before you answer."

He turned to John, "You were the third person we hired. Bill is being promoted and chose you to be his replacement. While he was gone a few weeks back you filled in and did an admirable job. The conditions would be the same as I explained to Mary. Do either of you need time to talk it over with family or to think about this promotion?"

They both looked at me. "Don't ask me. I just recommended you and Tom agreed. This is your life we are going to change, neither of us can nor will we make the decision for you. If you are not 100 percent sure let us know now."

John began "Well there is one possible problem here. We have been quietly dating for the last 2 years." Mary broke in and added "We have agreed to get married soon."

Tom asked "Can you both keep work at work and home at home? Can you both allow the other to do their job without interference? If there is no problem with these things I can't see a problem with this. If you like we can just supervise a little closer than we had planned."

"Well...." Began John and he paused. Mary spoke after a short pause "We have already been filling those rolls to some degree while dating. I don't see any problems so far. I think we can do it!" John was nodding in approval of her words.

"I think we can work out the minor details in a week or so. You both have the jobs, unless you change your minds. No one is to hear a word of this until a meeting on the 23rd of this month. Start working into your new jobs beginning tomorrow. We need to know by Friday if either one of you decides to back out."

I spoke to them "Congratulations on the engagement. We wish you well and will let you tell the others when the time is right for you. Your secret is safe with us." Tom nodded

The new space was soon ready, the equipment was ordered. Some of the equipment was to be replaced in the existing facility and the old was going to the new shop along with some of the new. Both facilities would have a mix of new and older, since they were computer programmed machines the programs would go with the machines. The work orders were to be split and 2 senior operators would be assigned temporarily for training at the new facility. I would do training as well. Job orders were to be faxed to the new facility.

The meeting was held on the 23rd. On the 24th I was on my way to the new facility. 

I was going to be commuting from the ranch most days.

My first order of business was to hire a receptionist. I found a mature. recently widowed lady; she was rusty but promised she would be back up to speed quickly. As with all new jobs will be a period of adjustment, I thought the long break from the job market would work well for training her to do things our way. It turned out I was correct.

She had 1 daughter still in school. The school was only 3 blocks down the road. She had after school activities most days, would it be ok for her to wait in the car the last 15 minutes.

I told her as long as she was not a distraction she could come inside. The second week there Shannon was helping her mother Linda to get the place ready to close for the night. On the days she did not stay late at school she began to help with some of Linda's work. Linda always double checked her. Linda explained that with 2 people looking there was less of a chance for a mistake to slip through. There was a column on the right side of the work orders for the office to tally up the costs. Linda simply placed a blank sheet of paper over Shannon's work and added it again. After a few weeks we found there were no errors from them. I didn't think Shannon was old enough to be hired so I started to slip her $50 every week for her efforts. Imagine my surprise when I was invited to her graduation party. She only looked to be about 15, but she was 18 and a senior. I asked what her plans were after she got out of school. She shrugged, "I don't know. I want to go to college but since Daddy died we can't afford it."

"We don't have enough work for 2 people in the office, but there is too much for just one person. Would you consider working here on Monday, Wednesday and eventually Fridays?" If you plan things right you can find courses to take on Tuesday, Thursday and weekends and go to college part time. They were both crying as I finished my proposal, they were tears of joy. 




I Love You More



I told them how I was the first employee in the company, working part time through high school and college. Then I went into my office to call Tom.

I came back out 10 minutes before closing time. "Do you have plans for Friday evening after work?"

"No?"

"Well you do now!" 

Tom only came into town once a month; and he had just been there. Friday he strolled in about 15 minutes before closing. Now the ladies were really puzzled.

We all drove our own cars to the restaurant. "Order anything you want" Tom said. The ladies ordered a middle priced chicken dish. Tom said he like that choice and ordered the same, so I ordered something similar. 

Dinner was over when Tom pulled a large envelope from his briefcase. "I have in this envelope a simple way for you to start college. We can front the money to you for the first semester. You will work for us and we will take 2 percent of your net pay from each paycheck to pay back the loan. By doing this you will still be able to save for the next term. We have done this for other employees and it has worked well. You will need to sign a contract to work for us as long as you owe money. It is as simple as that." The ladies were waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"There is only one other stipulation to the contract." He paused for effect. "In the event that you complete the courses with anything greater than a B average you will only payback 20 percent of the loan. We will continue to cover your courses at the same rate as long as you keep up the grades to that average."

The ladies were speechless.

"It is all here in the contract. If you want a lawyer to review it, go to one of your choosing and we will pay the entire bill. There is an invoice enclosed for them to submit. We offer this because we want our employees to be happy working for us. After you finish school we will welcome you to stay if you wish. Or if you choose to move on that is OK too. One person, a few years ago, asked if there were any SPECIAL FAVORS required from anyone. He pointed to the last paragraph and showed them where it read 'At no time will any sexual acts or any other unnecessary or degrading deeds of any kind be expected, if anyone demands such favors the employee is expected to decline the demand and notify the personnel department.' I hope this covers any concerns."

Stunned does not even begin to cover the reaction to the offer. 

I pulled an almost exact copy of their document from my pocket. "This is a copy of the last contract I made with Tom; you can take it with you for the lawyer to compare. You will find they are virtually the same. I believe since this contract, there were some typos found and corrected. If you need time off to study for an exam or complete a project we will try to accommodate you."

Then Tom spoke directly to Linda "I am prepared to offer the exact same contract to you if you would like to attend after work or weekends." He pulled out another envelope and put it in Linda's hand.

As we got set to leave the restaurant I said "I know this is a shock to you, if you don't think you will be OK to drive we will have your car towed home and put you in a taxi of you're choosing."

The next week Mammy died. The day before her funeral Pappy died too. The service for Mammy was delayed so they could be together for their final ride. Pappy had wanted to help drive her back to the farm for burial. A neighbor had a simple buckboard and 2 matching horses, after the service at the church they took their final ride together. They were buried beside Pappy's mother and father. My father was about 10 feet away.

Most of the dogs were long gone. The only one left was a young pup from Rhoda's last litter. I guess she was about 3. When she was little, a spooked horse trampled her damaging one leg. Other than a limp that looked more like a waddle she was in good health. Pappy was never one to put down a good dog, as far as he was concerned she was a good dog. Years before I had named her Opus after a penguin in a new comic strip. She was black and white and waddled. Mom still had Snowball and didn't care to take in another so she stayed with me. That is how Opus came to live with Bill D Katt. We became inseparable. Most days she came to work with me.

Things were good for a while; the shop was out performing our original one by about 2 percent. It was always close. 

Then there was the day Tom called to tell me Mom had a heart attack. "Pack a bag and get your ass on the road, I'm heading the other way." I was gone within the hour. Linda had instructions to call Tom if there was a problem no one could fix. I got hugs from my 2 ladies and a tearful goodbye.

I left Opus with the ladies.

Tom had covered for me, at the new plant, when I was on vacation; as had Mary and John so things would be fine.

By the time I got to the hospital Mom was doing much better. I walked in to find her sleeping. On the bedside table there was a card and flowers. When I recognized the writing on the card and on the big envelope beside them I cried. I still missed that woman, even after all that time and everything I had been through. 

The doctors assured me Mom would be fine, she was only medicated to give her a chance to heal. I went to the house and found Snowball locked in the bathroom. She went flying through the house looking for Mom. Finally she made a beeline to the back yard. She was soon back inside as close to me as she could get. We stayed like that the rest of the evening. Every so often I called for a report on how Mom was doing. It was always the same; resting comfortably. I had a room there like mom had a room to the south at the ranch. I finally fell into a deep sleep. I dreamed of Janice for the first time in years, I was surprised that I did not wake up angry in the morning. I was at peace with the situation. 

The next morning I stopped by the shop on the way to the hospital. Mary and John were the first to spot me. I assured them Mom was going to be fine. I spent 30 minutes talking with Tom at the other facility. I filled him in on some recent changes to the production floor and asked him to relay to my crew that Mom was going to be fine eventually. 

I was there waiting impatiently as visiting hours began. I made it to her room in record time, she was on the phone. I waited as she hung up and she said, or rather croaked like a frog "Hi." She tried to laugh but began to cough. The nurses came running from all directions. I stepped back into the hall out of the way. When they were sure she was in no danger they left one by one. I stepped back into the room. The last nurse was someone I recognized from years before in school. "Hi Bill, she is doing fine. Keep her from trying to laugh. She isn't ready for that yet."

"Thank you for being here with her. Are you the one who called Janice?"

The frightened look on her face answered the question for me. I gave her a quick hug and said "Thanks, she's all Janice has left."

I sat and talked with Mom about many things. One time I saw her eyes look at the door, I quickly turned to look. All I saw was a shadow, by the time I got to the door the person had disappeared. Mom didn't say who it was. At the end of my visit Mom asked me to take the envelope home and put it on the table beside her bed. I promised to return the next day. 

I spoke to the doctor on my way out. Mom was on blood thinners for now. If they didn't do what they hoped there might be surgery in the future. When Mom returned home she needed to take it easy for the first month, gradually increasing her activities.

There would be some things she might never be allowed to do, depending on her recovery.

The next day I contacted Tom and told him it would be better if I was to return home.

"That is already under way. I have movers ready to pick up what you want Friday morning. Have a place ready to receive your things in the afternoon. I plan to return for the weekend and will bring Opus with me. Mary and John will be coming down in three weeks. They will start out in my rental. I have a professional cleaning service lined up to make everything ready."

I was amazed at the speed he was getting things done. "When Mom is better you can come back to say goodbye to your folks. They all speak highly of you and wish your mother well. The operation is continuing flawlessly, you have trained them well. Hold on someone has asked for a word with you."

"Bill, this is Linda. Thank you for all the assistance with college. Shannon had straight A's again this semester. She has decided to enter a nursing program next term. Opus is doing well, but you can tell she misses you. We all wish the best for your mother."

I could hear her choking back the tears as she handed the phone to Tom.

"She was too modest to tell you she had A's in both of her courses too." I heard a smack sound and Tom said "OW!"

Linda was saying in the background "You had to do that didn't you."

"I am so proud of both of you." could be heard in the background. "Time to get to work again" Tom said.

I heard giggling as he hung up the phone.

I went in as soon as visiting hours began. I told her I need to step out for a while early that afternoon. The phone rang soon after I arrived; she answered it and simply said "Yes" after the greeting. Then maybe later, that sounds good."

I smelled a plot being hatched. I left at the time I told her. I waited in the hall and heard her talking "He is out for about 3 hours. OK see you in a few."

I went down and sat in a dark corner of the lobby. Soon Janice went flying by and into the elevator. I gave her a 5 minute head start and went back up to the floor. I stopped outside the door and listened to their conversation. 

I heard Mom say "He has changed in the last months; he willingly took your book home for me."

The nurse came by and I made a silence motion pointing into the room. 

"I woke part way when he visited the first time and heard him say thank you to your friend the nurse. He mentioned I was all you have."

I went quickly around the corner into the room saying something about forgetting my glasses. I heard the nurse snicker in the hall.

Janice stood to leave the room "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here to bother you."

I responded a little louder than necessary, "Why not?" I stood with my arm in the doorway so she could not get by.

"B-because of what I did to you?"

"You know you were forgiven?" I almost thundered at her.

She gulped and nodded to indicate she did.

"And there is still a problem?" I was a little quieter that time.

She started to nod YES but in the middle of her answer she changed it to NO. It was a bit awkward in the presentation. Her blush was bright red.

"We need to talk." I said.

"Would you like to drop by my, excuse me, our house this evening?"

"NO!" I replied almost violently.

She was shocked.

"There are too many bad memories there." I responded much more gently.

"... At Mom's?" she suggested.

"No, it has to be someplace neutral, a place where neither of us has been."

"There is a new place in the recently opened Hilton near the airport. I hear it is quiet and lovely."

"Is nine this evening good for you?" I asked.

"Yes, it is."

I turned and left as quickly as I arrived. As I entered the elevator the nurse got in with me. She was laughing. "She almost wet herself when you entered the room. Did you see the look on her face when you almost shouted 'Why not?' She was too confused to answer. I heard what she did to you, she deserved that today. I can see it in her eyes, she loves you still, and I think it is mutual."

I laughed at most of what she said but responded to the last statement "That is left to be seen."

I was seated in a booth at the very back when she arrived. The waitress asked if we were ready to order. "We will have sweetened ice tea; she does not want any lemon." I passed her a menu. "Order what you want."

"You remembered?"

"Why is that a shock to you?"

"After the way I treated you I thought you would forget. I am sorry for all I did to you."

"You were forgiven, you have apologized. Don't tell me you are sorry again. I need to ask one question first. WHY?"

"I have thought about that more than everything else over the years. I don't know for sure, I can only guess because I was vain, stupid and had no idea what I had in you."

"Do you remember our first fight?"

"It was over some little thing like not wanting to go to a restaurant you liked."

"Nope, long before that."

She was deep in thought for a while. "Oh my, the time I slapped you!"

I nodded "Remember the question I asked then?"

"Why didn't I talk to you?" she said meekly. 

"We were married this time, why couldn't you talk to me? I didn't have any set schedule for children." 

"You know about that?"

"I heard Mammy's part of the last conversation you two had in July after the divorce. No she did not lie to you; she could never lie, ever. I was standing above her on the steps out of sight. Do you have any idea how badly you ripped my heart out when I found out WHY? When she said she had to go it was because she saw me there."

Janice just sobbed. After she calmed down we continued.

"How many men have you been with since we separated, I have to know?"

"You are the only person to have me." She was almost defiant.

"How many dates have you been on?"

"I met Jimmy for lunch one time, you saw how that went. He wanted a dinner date. I told him it was lunch or nothing."

"If it had gone well, would you have gone out in the evening with him?

"There was no way. I could never trust him after that time in school. If I can't trust him there is no way to go any further than a lunch together. For some reason my head was screaming don't go in that place with him, I didn't listen. I was good at not listening back then, wasn't I?"

"I have 2 wonderful females in my life now. They have taught me a lot about unconditional love." I placed a photo on the table face down.

Janice picked up her purse and stopped to look at me with disgust. As she started to move I quietly said "You are doing it again."

"You just told me you are not single and in fact have 2 and you want me to listen?"

"YES." I responded almost in a whisper

"Are you stupid?"

"No. Sit down before you make a bigger fool of yourself than you have just done." I said that even softer.

She sat down in disgust. "This better be worth it mister."

I smiled. I tapped the back of the photo.

She turned it over ready to explode. "Is this a joke?" She almost choked on the words.

I shook my head to indicate "No."

"The day I found out WHY I met the black one. They are half sisters, the same mother and different fathers. They are from different litters too. The black one is Snowball. She taught me the most, her mother taught her how to love, how to cuddle for hours at a time, how to give of herself without any thought of getting back. She saved me when I found out why you divorced me." The other is Opus; she has a deformity that causes her to waddle when she moves. She taught me to be happy with what you have, no matter how limited you think you are. They both have the softest ears you ever felt."

The tears were running down her face again.

"They can teach you too. Tom is bringing Opus home this weekend, if you come over on Saturday you can see them together. They have never met before. Mom is coming home late on Friday."

"Please." she almost pleaded.

"Be there at noon then."

We talked until the place was almost set to close. I paid the bill and gave the waitress $100 for a tip; the bill was only $82. As we left I told the waitress "Thank you for your consideration; this was important to us. When we come back we would like to sit in your section again."

"Just ask for Janice."

I roared with laughter. We turned back to face her; I said "Janice, meet Janice. I think we will remember your name."

Mom came home late Friday afternoon. Snowball was unsure at first about how she should behave; she seemed to sense something was wrong with Mom. Mom made the kissing noise to her and patted the seat of Dad's big old recliner beside her. Snowball climbed gently up and lay beside her, not quite touching. As Mom rubbed her ears she edged closer and closer until there was no room between them. She laid her head on Mom's knee and sighed. They stayed like that for what seemed to be an eternity. All was right with their world.

Saturday Janice dropped by at noon. She met Snowball they became friends. Snowball still definitely preferred Mom. 

About 12:30 there was a knock on the door, I opened it to see Linda then Shannon. Tom was standing to the side with Opus on her leash. Opus saw me and pushed her way through the crowd to me. Talk about pitiful noises. 

"Everyone come in."

Snowball came right over to inspect the interloper who dared to intrude on her domain. I guess Opus smelled like the ranch, they became friends right away. Snowball was quick to show her who the boss was. 

I introduced everyone to each other. When Linda and Shannon started to rave about what a great boss I was Mom smiled, Janice bristled for just a moment and Tom smirked. The dogs just ignored their people.

I saw something sparkle on Linda's finger. I looked over at Tom and he smiled. Janice soon saw the same thing I did and settled down a little more.

Linda told how she had been recently widowed and I gave her a chance. The job market was tight and no one was willing to hire someone who had been out of work for 17 years. 

"By the end of her second week she was more than earning her keep." I said.

Soon Mom drifted off to sleep. Snowball was on her right, Opus was on her left. I have no idea how all 3 fit in that chair but they did. We all went into the kitchen so she would not be disturbed. I watched from the doorway. Linda's husband was a heart patient too, she knew some recipes that were tasty and Mom could eat. All 3 ladies worked on the meal together, like they had been doing it all their lives.

After supper Tom and my ladies left. Mom was soon tired again and went off to bed; followed by both dogs. As the evening went on both dogs took separate breaks to come down and eat, get a drink or go out in the yard. Janice and I continued to talk.

I told her "My biggest problem is that I don't know if I can trust you after what you did. It felt like you tore out my heart, cut it to ribbons and did a victory dance on the remains."

"I'm so ashamed at my actions. The thought of being pregnant terrifies me. I never had any thought that you would be so hurt. As soon as the gavel came down I realized how badly I had messed up. I wanted to undo the damage, but you would not talk to me. As badly as you were hurt I now understand why."

I told the story about her Christmas dress and the halo of hair in the bright sunlight.

She gasped, "I never realized you were taken with me for that long." A few tears flowed again.

"I could never tell you unless I was sure you felt the same. If you did not have the same feelings I would have been devastated. The 2 happiest day of my life were when you said yes and the day we were married. My childhood dreams all came true. The day we were divorced I was so crushed I didn't know if I would continue to live. When Tom sent me away I hated him. I was not going to return. I realize now that he saved me that day. He made me confront my despair. I can tell you now because the dogs have taught me so much about unconditional love. I know I can love you without anything in return."

"But I love you..." She cried "...I was just too stupid to realize it."

We slowly began to communicate better. She listened to my concerns and would talk to me about hers. Eventually our relationship became physical again; it started slowly, holding hands, light kisses, and finally we got into full blown lusty monkey sex. We never talked about children. She was on birth control. I saw her taking pills. 




I Love You More



One evening when I returned home from work she was sitting on the couch with Mom holding each other tightly. Janice was crying, Mom was trying to not smile. I heard "How do I tell him?"

My stomach lurched. We had just gotten together and things were going wrong. I wanted to leave but Mom had spotted me and directed me to go around to the kitchen. Janice didn't see the motions, or me.

"She has good news for you but is frightened to tell you. She's not sure how you will take it. Please come in the front door again and be nice to her; no matter what you are feeling."

I came back in to see her on the couch, she was a wretched mess. I sat next to her and enquired about what was troubling her. She held out a pregnancy test kit with a very bright positive result. "I'm frightened. I love you more than you know." Finally she got around to the part that bothered her. "My mother died when I was born, she bled to death. They tried and tried and couldn't save her. I was raised by my Dad and an aunt."

"There have been many advances in the medical world since you were born. Have you spoken to the doctor yet?"

She shook her head "NO."

The doctor assured her that it was rare for a woman to have those sorts of problems with the advancements in medical technology.

Janice felt better after that conversation; every now and again a dark look would appear on her face and disappear just as quickly as it arrived. Her medical records were all flagged to indicate the problem she worried about and all the important medicines to combat it were stocked just in case. 

We were at our happiest point. She wanted to remarry before the birth, the doctors all said to "...avoid the excitement and do it after the birth." Finally she consented.

I was making the last run to our new facility at her seven month point. I was driving just a little over the limit, which I always did on that part of the road when I saw the lights behind me. "We caught you." the officer said. 

Just after he pulled me over a helicopter flew down into the field beside the road. I started to protest that I was not going that fast when he told me a tow truck was on the way and to get into the helicopter. I started to protest again when he shouted "Move."

I was confused, but I moved.

The pilot in the helicopter strapped me in and we were in the air within a minute. He finally spoke "Mr. Katt, your wife has been taken to the hospital; she started to hemorrhage shortly after you left. We are flying you back to be with her." 

The flight was the longest 15 minutes of my life. I got there in time to speak to her as they wheeled her into the operating room.

We spoke for 30 to 40 seconds and she was gone. We both shouted "I love you" at the same time. 

I turned to find Mom in tears, "She was so afraid this would happen."

Janice made it through the operation, as did our twins, a boy and girl. When she came around she was too weak to hold them and could only whisper a few words. I kissed her and told her of how beautiful our babies were.

She was able to go home after 3 weeks. She was still too weak to do much. Shannon had just finished her nursing courses and had her degree. She came to help us. The babies were able to go home after 4 more weeks. They were small but healthy. She was so happy to finally be able to hold them.

I lost count of all the times I told her that I was sorry for the problems.

She brushed it off saying "We have our babies and I lived through it. I love you so much I had to try."

We decided to remarry on our original wedding day, just after the twins turned one. She slowly improved; the twins were full of energy and the joys of our lives.

The day we remarried she was too exhausted to do much other than go home to bed. Three months later we set out on out honeymoon. The doctors told us to take it easy and no sex yet. We did as told. We had a great time and called to speak to the twins each night. 

On the flight back about 25 minutes from landing she began to hemorrhage again. Slowly at first then it got worse and worse. She was barely alive when we got to the hospital. If she made it through the night they were sure she would survive. 

Janice was slowly recovering over the next week. I hardly ever left her side. We said "I love you!" often.

She convinced me to go home one evening. As I left I held her hand and whispered "I love you!"

She said "I love you more!" That was a new one.

I got to the front doors of the hospital when something told me to go back. I heard "Code Blue" and started to run toward her room, not bothering to listen to the rest of the announcement. They were working furiously on her; I knew in my heart she was gone.

Her friend, the nurse who called her about Mom, was there. "She gave it her best shot. She was always so grateful that you got back together with her. She always spoke of her deep love for you. You made her life complete."

The staff slowly filed out of the room. She continued "You know she had the best working on her in there. They said her heart was just too week to continue. They pulled her back one time and I swear she said 'I love you more!' Then she closed her eyes and was gone."

Somehow between the time I left her and when her heart stopped she managed to write a note to me. It read "My heart is so filled with love for you that sometimes it forgets to beat. Understand that I love you more than life itself. If you ever find another you have my permission" ('you have my permission' had a line through it). Then it continued "I expect you to love and care for her as well as you did me." You could see where she had started to sign it, but the pen ran down the page in a strange curve before it faded out.

We buried Janice at the ranch, there was a space left between Dad and her for me. We spent the next week there. Mom and I spent a lot of time talking and stroking the dogs' ears. Shannon was there to help with the children; she was a godsend that week. 

The next few years were bittersweet. The children grew like weeds. Mom tried to care for them, but she was slowly beginning to wear down. Tom and Linda got married, Shannon felt like a third wheel with them. She was working nights at the hospital and then dropping by to help Mom with the house and the children. Many days she would "just lay down for a nap" only to sleep until early evening. She slowly moved out of Tom and Linda's place in into ours. Without her help we would have had a difficult time.

As time moved on I began to realize that I looked forward to seeing her as much as I looked forward to seeing Mom and the children in the evenings. The children turned 4 years old and old enough to attend preschool. This gave Mom and Shannon a chance to relax more. 

One Friday evening Tom and Linda stopped by with pizzas and chased Shannon and I out of the house. They had gift certificates and made reservations for our favorite restaurant. We had a marvelous time. After dinner we found ourselves walking in the park before returning home. I'm not sure how it happened that we soon were holding hands and chatting up a storm. We sat on a bench to continue talking and I soon found I was holding her and the side of her head was pressed to my chest. She looked up at me and I could see her eyes shining. It felt right to lean over and kiss her lightly on her lips. She sighed.

Soon we were heading back to the house. The talking wound down and we seemed to be lost in our own thoughts. Tom and Linda left soon after we returned, the rest were all asleep. I sat in Dad's big old recliner; she came over and asked if she could join me. As I sat there holding her a dog walked out of the hall and stopped to look; then she continued to the kitchen for a drink.

I chuckled.

"What?" Shannon whispered.

"The look on Snowball's face was as if she was thinking 'It's about time'. Maybe it is?"

"Maybe it is?" she replied.

We both laughed softly. Her head fell to my shoulder and she relaxed.

It was almost a whisper "I like this!" I was thinking the same thing. It was melodious, like 2 part harmony.

"What did you say?" she asked

"You said 'I like this' at the same time I was thinking it"

She quickly countered with "I heard you say it as I was thinking it!"

"It sounded wonderful either way; I think we both spoke at the same time."

"I'm only worried about one thing. As much as you loved Janice, do you have room in your heart for me?"

"I still love her. I guess I always will; but there is room in my heart for you too. I'm not sure when I happened," I then blurted out "I have fallen in love with you!"

"I'm glad you feel the way you do. I would worry if you didn't love both of us."

I bent down and kissed her, she returned the kiss with passion.

I felt a presence in front of me and cracked one eye open. It was morning! Shannon had her arms wrapped around my neck, I was holding her too. Both dogs were lying at my feet. Mom was just turning into the kitchen. I heard her mumble "...about time. For 2 smart people they sure are dense."

Shannon giggled. I kissed her again.

Neither of us wanted to separate, but nature was calling both of us. "I like the feel of that, is it for me?" she said as her hand brushed the front of my pants.

"Soon, but not yet." I whispered.

"I can wait." She was gone like a shot.

After breakfast I had errands to run, she was going to do Mom's hair for church tomorrow.

I stopped at Tom's and knocked on the door. He was out back mowing the yard. Linda answered the door. I gave her the flowers in my hand. "Sorry, I'm already married!" she said.

"I came to ask permission to marry your daughter."

"For smart people you 2 sure are dense. YES, you can marry my daughter."

"I heard that first part earlier this morning." To the look on her face I replied "Mom said it too."

"Get out of here and go back to her. Stop wasting time with old ladies!"

As I drove toward home my phone rang "For smart people you 2 sure are dense." It was Tom. He giggled and hung up before I could respond.

When I got home the children were playing in the living room. Mom was taking a nap. I snuck up behind Shannon as she was preparing lunch. "Put the knife down." She did right after she jumped.

"You scared me!"

I just kept right on going before I lost my nerve, "Shannon, I love you with most of my heart. Please marry me!"

"YES!" She jumped into my arms. "You have a funny way of asking, but I understand. This is the way it is."

At her shout the dogs and then the children ran into the kitchen to see what was happening. "Your Dad asked me to marry him."

My son Mike said "For smart people you guys sure are dense." 

His sister Pat asked "Will you marry us too?" Mike was nodding in agreement.

"I would like nothing better!"

About that time Mom walked into the kitchen. Before she could ask what all the noise was about Pat ran over to her "We are ALL getting married!" 

Mom said "OK." and smiled.

We were married at the ranch at the spot where I found unconditional love; there were less than a dozen there in all. That included Snowball, Opus and her puppy Misty. 

Everyone left us there for our honeymoon. 

Shannon was eager that evening when we went to bed. As I entered her for the first time she whispered "Gentle, please." She was a virgin.

Afterward all she said was "I promised Daddy."

I understood. That night after I fell asleep I dreamed that Janice was there. It had been a long time since I dreamed about her. She sat on the side of the bed and said "I knew she would be the one." And then she smiled and was gone.

The next morning Shannon told me she was visited too. "Janice thanked me for all I had done for you and the family then wished me a happy marriage and was gone."

That day as we walked past the graves we noticed a small, blue flower had bloomed overnight on Janice's, within a month her grave was completely covered and they were spreading to the other graves. That night our loving was more wonderful and it kept getting better each night.

Friday at about 11 the phone rang, "There is a problem at the plant, you are the closest. Can you take care of it? You can take your wife too."

When we got there the plant was dark, no machines were running. When we entered the production floor a bright light came on and everyone yelled surprise. It echoed off of the cement walls. The main lighting came back on and the entire staffs of both plants and their families were gathered there. Mom and the children stood to the side with Linda and Tom. We were lead to a tent that was setup out back and the party began. 

After the meal Tom, Mary, John and the managers of the original plant stood at the front Tom asked to speak. "Bill, you were the first employee I ever hired. You have been there through good times and bad, always doing your best at the exact time it was needed. Thank you. We know you are overpaid and want for nothing, especially now that you are married again, but we wanted to give you a present anyway." He held his hand up and pointed to the area in the corner of the tent that was hidden with tarps. As they fell you could see stacks of skids loaded with canned food. This is less than half of your present, the rest is at the other plant, and it is being donated to as many local food banks as can use it in a timely fashion. The employees all donated food and money the company matched it with 2 for each one they donated.

Mary and John spoke next. We noticed there was no library in this town when we first arrived. In honor of your father we are donating $200,000 to start one. Half will be for books and the rest will be for furnishings. The old school on West Broad is being renovated as we speak for use as a community building, the library will be on much of the first floor. 

Tom spoke again. "I never told anyone my secret. All of you will hear it at the same time. I hired Bill because he was a good worker. I used to watch him at the Burger Barn; it was his first summer job.

I did not know something at that time; I only discovered it when I went to his father's funeral. His father was my first employer; he taught me how to be the best boss ever, you all owe your jobs and the way you are treasured to Mr. Isaac Katt. A special children's section of the library will be dedicated to him."

The new managers from the original plant spoke next. "The library in our town had become a little shabby and worn. We have made the same deal with them as we have made here. Both libraries will have a Katt Room just for the children."

I thanked them for their generosity and introduced Shannon to them all again; most of them already knew her.

Tom spoke one more time. "This is long overdue; tonight I am making Bill a full partner in the company."

I stuttered my thanks.

He continued, "The party ends at Midnight, have a good time. Be safe going home."

At 11:30 seven big busses pulled into the lot to return the folks from up north. 

For the next month or more the suggestion boxes from both plants kept filling with ideas to improve production as well as other things. Most began; "While talking with someone at the reception they mentioned a different way of doing things in their plant. We would like to try their way and see if it is faster, better or easier...."

We pulled a group together from both plants to investigate the possibilities. 

We are not sure if the changes were the reason production in both plants improved over 10 percent; we passed the increased profits to the employees in the form of bonuses and more parties.

Shannon returned from the honeymoon pregnant, she swears she felt something after the first time. We added 2 more to the family and there were no more. We tried, we really did. 

Mom progressively got weaker and weaker and finally joined Dad and her parents at the ranch. It was a blessing when she passed on.

We now have the great, great, great grand puppies from Rhoda. She would be proud. They all have had the softest ears. The puppies have spread out throughout the family.

Three of the children have married and blessed us with four grand children so far. Tom and I sold most of the operation to the employees, we go in a few times a month to offer guidance and renew friendships.

We built another house on the ranch, Tom and Linda moved down to be with their grand children. 

*********************************

This turned out longer than I expected. I don't think there is much I can do to shorten it without ruining the story. 

I hope someone likes it. I found that I had a problem with my face leaking from time to time as I worked. 

Be kind with the remarks and I shall be kind in return.

Thank you.