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I Am Not A Wimp Pt. 01

By: cageytee



I anticipate there may be readers who will ask that this story be "finished" or that they be permitted to finish it themselves. Just now, I have no idea how to satisfactorily proceed with it myself as I think I have made my point as it is (although the readers may think otherwise.) It may well be that I never do "finish" it, but, just in case, I have added, "Pt 1." to the title. If you're interested, I would be honored to have you do so.

Chapter 1: Jenny

Have you ever had something on your mind or maybe you were doing something and although it was bugging you, you couldn't define just what it was and so you continued to just "go through the motions" until it finally clicked? Perhaps an idea that wasn't working out but you just didn't get around to dropping it until the "lights went on"?

I had been that way for about 3 weeks some time ago until one night it "clicked.".

"What in hell am I doing here?" I thought to myself.

I remember that exact question flowing through my mind that night. It actually hit me almost like a physical blow.

The real question however was, "What in hell have I been doing for the last three weeks?"

I looked across the table at Jerry, the man who had just insisted that it was about time I went with him to his hotel room, upstairs, to spend the night in his bed. I'm more than a little embarrassed to tell you that he had good reason for thinking I might. 

In spite of the fact that I had been telling him all along I had no intention of getting into his bed, he thought he was going to get lucky a couple of weeks ago and although he never did (and never would) as I said, I'm embarrassed to admit I have given him some reason to think he might.

Over the last three weeks I have had lunch with him 5 (or was it 6?) times and I've had dinner with him three times on each of the last three Wednesdays (including that night when I finally came to my senses) while my husband was out of town on business and the second and third weeks, we went dancing in the hotel lounge.

During the latter part of the first evening, I clearly felt his arousal rubbing my leg and my groin while we were dancing. 

It gave me the creeps!

It brought the evening to a rapid halt when that happened. I had promptly said good night and left on my own.

What in hell was I doing there with him?

I don't even like him. All I had was a vague plan to use this asshole to make my own husband a little more attentive but I had no idea how to go about doing it.

They say that in times of extreme stress or sudden revelation, your life passes before your eyes. That didn't really happen, but enough of it did that I came to the clear realization that; in spite of my husband's lack of romanticism, his sometimes overwhelming devotion to his business and his clients (often to the detriment of our marriage) and in spite of him not having kept the promise he made to me after we had discussed the need to have him be more attentive to me and to our marriage, in the final analysis, I really loved my husband and, like it or not, I'd rather have him in my life as he is, than be without him.

What to do about Jerry and his hardon?

That wasn't really a problem. As I said, I didn't even like him and over the time I had spent with him those few weeks, I found he was even worse than I originally thought. He turned out to be an arrogant, slimy SOB who, I had recently discovered, already cheats on his wife and in this case, he was ready to fuck his boss's wife.

How did I come to be with him? 

It seemed like a good idea at the time although I didn't really think it through and while I was trying to work out in my mind just how to add a spark of jealousy to my husband's thinking and push him to live up to his promise to be more concerned about me and our life together, I kept stringing Jerry along.

My name is Jenny Conden. I'm 38 years old and I have been married to Ted Conden for the last 6 years and although we had some struggles while we were dating and some more while married, I think that overall it has been good for us both.

I was raised by two loving parents who brought me up to be caring, confident, independent, honest and loyal. They taught me the value of setting goals and working hard to achieve them very early in my life.

While I was both learning and applying those things, I dated quite a bit in high school and in college and spent some time in bed with some of the guys I really liked. I enjoyed my time as a single woman but wasn't able to find anyone I thought might be "Mr. Right", that is, until I met Ted Conden.

I joined Deston Corp. as a "Management Trainee" just out of college at the ripe old age of 22 and I had worked hard to earn my way to "Executive Assistant to the Vice President of Operations" by the time I met Ted.

There had been a few offers of assistance along the way if I would sleep with the "right" people but I managed to avoid that and be a success on my business and personal skills. In fact, by the time I was 31, I had a high paying job, I owned my own home and I had a personal investment portfolio worth about $250,000.

I suspect that I might well have been otherwise married by then but my personal drive, ambition and success seemed to have frightened off the better prospects and rather than settle for less than an equally strong and confident partner, I began to resign myself to a life of one night stands and brief flings.

Then my boss decided to do some business with a small upstart company called Conden Enterprises and my life began to change.

To begin, and I know I am biased, I strongly suspect that any woman (and a good many men) would describe Ted as particularly handsome. He's 6' 2'' and 200 lbs of muscle and co-ordination. My brother Rob had heard of him as Ted was an outstanding college athlete who might well have made it in the professional ranks as either a baseball or a football player, but chose, instead, to go into business.

My boss assigned me to work with Ted as we were going to outsource our computer software and hardware needs to his company.

My first impression was excellent. As I've already said he is particularly handsome and fit and, although not overly friendly when we first met, he was quite nice.

With a guy this good looking and, as far as the rumor mill knew, unattached, I expected him to demonstrate at least a little interest in me. I may not be a super model but I'm confident I'm attractive, intelligent and not totally without charm.

After 3 weeks of working pretty closely with him I began to wonder if he was gay but it seems that virtually all of the other women in our office knew of him as he had been featured in several magazines a while back as an up and coming superstar and, of course, eligible bachelor, and almost all were anxious to interrogate me at every available opportunity.

I had nothing to tell other than he was very nice, polite and considerate. The good looks they could see for themselves.

They, on the other hand, seemed to have plenty to tell me. According to them, he had been with quite a number of women most of whom still think very highly of him. There are many who openly claim, or have somewhat intimated, that they had shared his bed and they too had nothing bad to say, other than he clearly is no where near ready to commit.

After a while I began to doubt myself!

Although he didn't seem intimidated, I thought that maybe he was just another one of those guys put off by my business success.

After more than a month of working together day after day, we began to work a few evenings as well, trying to meet the sub-contractor's deadlines.

One day as we were somewhat frantically working to meet the next deadline, my boss's boss, the C.E.O., asked Ted if we needed to meet with the subcontractors to work out a new schedule, to which he responded, "No. As long as Jenny is available to work some overtime and maybe a weekend, we can finish by the end of the month. By the way, this woman really knows her stuff! We wouldn't be even close to managing the original deadline if it wasn't for her. You better watch out Ralph, I think she's not far off being able to do your job very effectively."

I was blushing, I know, but enjoying every millisecond of this kind of ego boosting banter, especially in front of the company C.E.O. and coming from quite a hunk of a guy who, by the way, really knows his stuff too.

When the moment had passed and the boss moved on, we were planning out the remainder of the week before the deadline, which included working a long day Saturday and possibly some of Sunday too, when I thanked him for his kind comments. 

"You deserve that and more Jenny. You're an exceptional administrator. We've done as well as we have not only because of your own knowledge, which is extensive, but also because you manage your staff so well. You seem to know which of them you need to consult for each of the issues we've had to deal with. That alone has saved us dozens of hours of slugging through this mound of raw data. I'd hire you myself but it's plain to see you would put me out of a job and I'd have to retire and I'm much too young for that. Besides," he added with a dazzling smile, "I couldn't afford to hire you anyway!"

If I wasn't in love with him then, I was damn close. A man of my dreams! One who could see and appreciate my intellect and business ability and not be threatened by it and one who is so damn smart, good looking and, I've noticed lately, is sexy as hell too.

"After all those compliments the least I could do is buy you dinner." I blurted out.

He was seemed shocked but recovered well and said, "That would be great. I'd love it."

It turned out that he is great company beyond the job. He is well versed in the arts and we had a great conversation about Broadway shows which, it turns out, we both love.

It was a wonderful evening and, although I had no intention of inviting him into my bed that night, I was hoping for a kiss or two but what I got was a beautiful, sexy smile and a hearty 'thank you' for dinner.

The following was a long week with no rest likely to come over the weekend as we were scheduled to work Saturday and maybe some of Sunday.

By mid-afternoon that Saturday it looked like we were finally nearing the end. For me that was a bittersweet thought. I would be glad to get it done but I would miss working so closely with this man.

He too could see that we were nearly done and asked if I would be willing to stay with it that night and get it done rather than take time on Sunday. By 8:00 PM that night we had a final draft of our report ready for the secretarial pool on Monday.

He asked if he could buy me a late dinner and I agreed. We tried a few decent places but it being Saturday night, they were all booked solid so I suggested we order some Chinese and take it back to my place.

Once again I found him to be a marvelous companion and I was sorry to see the evening end. I knew he was planning to fly back to Savannah soon, but the disappointment in my face must have been vivid when he off handedly mentioned he was going out that next day.

I must have looked silly standing there, somewhat in shock, but he smiled, leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek as he said, "I have really enjoyed working with you Jenny. I'm going to miss you. I hope we can have dinner sometime when I'm back in town to service this account."

I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. "I'll be very disappointed if we don't."

I remember feeling like a teenager, excited by the prospect of a relationship with him and disappointed that he was leaving.

About two weeks later he called to say he was going to be in town and we got together for dinner. I don't remember much other than it was a fabulous evening of dinner and dancing. Like every other thing I had seen him do, he was an excellent dancer and it felt especially good to have him hold me in his arms as we moved across the dance floor. 

The evening ended all too soon with a chaste kiss on the lips and a smiling "Thank you!"

It was almost three weeks before I heard from him again but this time there was, for me at least, great news.

His business was growing rapidly and, as most of his clients were now in the greater Atlanta area, he had decided to move from Savannah and set up locally.

Once he got that done, we dated for about three months getting out at least once each week and sometimes twice. We kissed, sometimes passionately and I'm sure I left all the right hints but with no success as we didn't even come close to sleeping together at all.

Finally one evening, after a round of golf and dinner on the clubhouse terrace, I asked him why it was we hadn't yet reached that level in our relationship.

His face was pensive and his manner and tone serious as he said, "Jenny, I've never met anyone I enjoy spending time with as much as I do with you. You're an intelligent, charming and well informed woman whose self confidence is evident. I really like being with you. We enjoy the same sort of things. You have introduced me to new things that have added to my life.

I'm no virgin, not by a long shot nor, I suspect, are you. It seems to me that in the relationships I have enjoyed up to now, once the sleeping arrangements are made, the relationship always seems to move quickly to expectations of commitment and marriage and to be perfectly honest, one, I'm not sure I'm the marriage and commitment type and two, I have enjoyed being with you so much I've tried to avoid the sex creating such expectations and continue to enjoy your company."

Was that a compliment or a put down?

A compliment, I think.

Then he said, "I know I want to and if, knowing what I've just told you, you still want to, then let's and allow the relationship go where it does."

I never thought of myself as being sexually stimulated by visuals of a naked man. I thought it was intimacy, caring, touch and imagery that did it for me, but when we both stripped off our clothes that night in my bedroom, I could feel the excitement build as I admired him.

Not an ounce of excess fat. Tall and muscular without the overly large muscles that come from serious weight training. Abs that are rock hard and of course, I was pleased to note, that that was not all that was hard.

He is a caring and gentle lover. I was already very turned on by the sight of his gorgeous body but his touch made me even more so. He stroked by breasts and my nipples became so hard they almost hurt. By the time his hands got to my pussy I was noticeably wet. His kisses were delightful and I was more than ready as he knelt between my spread legs and slowly entered me.

My delight was so extreme it was almost too hard to bear.

He began to stroke in and out moving smoothly as I was so well lubricated. Although excited myself, I did notice a deliberate change of pace after a while and as I caught his eye I was sure I knew what it was. I reached up and pulled him into a passionate kiss, our tongues lashing at each other and when that kiss broke, I whispered huskily, "Let it come Baby. Let it come."

And cum he did. It seemed interminable and his groans of pleasure were music to my ears.

I'm not sure what was better, knowing I had that sort of effect on him, or feeling as I did when he held me tight and continued to caress me as he recovered from that orgasm.

Fortunately he recovered rather quickly and for most of the rest of the night it seemed my body was wracked with orgasm after orgasm.

I was delighted to learn that he is not the least bit hesitant when dealing with his own cum. He ate me to a number of orgasms, one or two of which were nothing short of earth shattering, after he had cum in me.

We slept in each others arms, exhausted from the sex and next morning he was still as caring and charming as ever.

We spent the next 7 months in a monogamous relationship. We slept either at my house or at his apartment and although I knew I was desperately in love with him, I was very careful not to press him for any sort of commitment beyond what we had.

If there was anything other than the commitment thing that gave me cause for concern was that he wasn't big on the "I love you." comment nor was he big on little things that show you care. 

Funny thing there was that on one of the rare times he did make an intimate gesture without prompting, I had to tell him off. One day he had come by my office to pick me up and I wasn't quite ready. It was still during working hours and my whole staff was still in the office when, unlike him, he pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the lips. 

I really love him to do things like that but I was unprepared just then and he did it in front of a good number of my staff who began to giggle. As soon as we were alone in my office he saw how annoyed I was, but, as much as I was annoyed, I wanted not to upset things as we were headed out on a long weekend together, so I calmly tried to explain how important it was to maintain our dignity around our staff members.

I thought I may have pushed that too hard but he was not offended in the least, and he was quite contrite. He apologized and told me it was one of the things he was going to have to learn as he found he would soon be hiring more and more staff and really didn't see himself as having the kind of personal management skills he had so often seen me demonstrate.

My annoyance was soon gone, replaced with great delight in having a guy like him dating me.

Although I tried often to get him to, he wasn't keen on talking about his own life, particularly when he was growing up. What little I knew told me it couldn't have been an easy time for him. 

His Mom died when he was 8 and although his dad remarried later, that marriage ended in divorce and he had essentially been raised by his father who had died at the age of 47 when Ted was 23. We were both nearing our 31st birthdays at that point and I knew very little about his youth, although I had asked often enough.

From what I could gather, to deal with it, he buried himself in sports and academic achievement and to this day, really didn't like to talk about it.

We didn't spend all our time together in isolation. We visited my folks frequently and my brother Rob and Ted hit it off right from their first meeting and he and my sister, Diane frequently joined us on dates.

Diane was my best friend in school and remained so after she dated and married my brother.

My Dad also knew of Ted from his college athletic days and both he and my Mom visibly adore him. Mom hinted often, all too often, that she was expecting to hear about wedding plans soon. When I responded by saying that I wasn't in any rush to commit to Ted, she looked at me as if I were insane, then proceeded to tell me I must be crazy. I couldn't bring myself to tell her it was Ted who wouldn't commit.

We went on like that until nearly Christmas. As the holidays approached I began to notice that Ted's manner was changing. Nothing dramatic but he seemed quieter and more into himself. I passed it off initially but after a while it became too vivid to ignore. 

I decided to confront him as I began to suspect that we were nearing the end of the relationship. Sure we hadn't talked commitment and certainly not marriage but it was there anyway. We were entangled in a web of family events, issues and relationships and avoiding talking about it wasn't changing it. We were being treated by my family and our friends as a committed couple and there was no getting around it.

I had steeled myself for the bad news and was ready to ask Ted what was bothering him but before I could, he came to me and asked if we could go for a walk by ourselves. There is a golf course near my home where we had often walked before. That day the brightly colored leaves were a contrast to my mood but the dark, somber, gray skies matched it well.


I Am Not A Wimp Pt. 01



"Jenny, I've been struggling with just how to handle this. I'm not sure how to do it best, so I've decided to tell you right out and have you react so I know what my next move should be." he began.

"I want to give you an engagement ring for Christmas but I don't want to put us in the position of you having to say no, if that's your answer, in front of your family."

I had been expecting exactly the opposite and was unprepared for what he told me. He took my hesitation as a "no" and said with a visibly embarrassed look, "I'm glad I let you know. I'd be pretty upset to have you turn me down in front of your folks."

I came to my senses quickly. 

"Ted, there's no way in hell I would turn you down. I love you and I want to marry you more than anything else in the world." I said as I rushed into his embrace. "Do we have to wait for Christmas?"

His face brightened as I answered, then grew serious. "Jenny, I have been happier these last few months than I have ever been. Christmas was just a sort of romantic notion I guess." 

Then he took a box from his jacket pocket and opened it to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. "Jenny, will you marry me?"

The ring was incredible and it fit perfectly. When I asked him later how he managed that he said, "That's a mechanical problem. I just borrowed the size rod from the jeweler and put your grad ring on it when you left it in the ring cleaner jar."

I was happy and excited but even more so when Ted said, "Let's call Rob and Diane then go see your parents."

He was as excited about telling them as I was.

My family and our friends were, of course excited for us and over the next few months we fell into planning the wedding. Ted is a leader in almost everything but when it came to the wedding, he was a follower and agreed to let Mom and I take care of everything.

One night Ted raised the issue of dealing with some practical matters and to tell you the truth, my business sense was prodding me and I had been fretting over how to raise the subject myself.

I needn't have worried. Ted was as practical as I was and we seemed to comfortably deal with each issue.

We both love my house and he pointed out that it was mine and if anything went wrong, it should still be mine. He also pointed out that although his business was growing and providing him with a decent income, he had not yet been able to put away anything for the future nor did he, at least at that point, make as much as I did.

We jotted some notes and I was somewhat giddy with relief that I didn't have to raise the issue and possibly hurt his feelings. We agreed to turn the notes over to my lawyer as Ted's was a corporate lawyer and wasn't comfortable doing it for us.

I was a little alarmed at the pre-nuptial agreement we got back. It seemed so cold and impersonal for a document related to two people about to marry, but Ted seemed unperturbed and signed it after reading it carefully a couple of times. 

That night he told me that he thought it was fair and appropriate and that we could always redo it at a later time when our circumstances changed and, of course, if we wanted to. We agreed we would like to have kids but we both realized that would have to wait as I wanted to pursue my career and he wanted to build his own business. 

There are plenty of examples of a woman having her first child in her early 40's and both of us were willing to consider adopting if it came to that.

Ted also told me that he believed in monogamy, that two people should only agree to marry if they agree that that is what they both want and if things change later on in life, which they sometimes do, that a straightforward statement should be made rather than having an affair behind the partner's back.

I couldn't agree more. It seemed kind of odd, but we actually discussed how ending the relationship should happen if feelings change later in life. Odd perhaps, but strangely comforting that I had a man who felt strongly about such things and that they would be the same feelings I so strongly held.

The wedding was exhausting but fun. My dad was so proud he couldn't stop the smile. Being Dad, he insisted he and Mom would pay for it and Ted, after expressing some concern, agreed to let him have his way.

Our guests were mostly my family and mutual friends. The only ones from Ted's family were his Aunt Babs, her daughter Karen and her husband Pete. Babs was his father's sister and the three of them were the only family Ted had since his Dad died.

Although they were not particularly close it was clear that Babs thought the world of her nephew and Karen had been brought up to understand he was a remarkable man.

Well, I knew that firsthand but it was nice to have it confirmed. 

We spent two glorious weeks in Cairns, Australia mostly because we discovered it was somewhere we both wanted to go.

On our first night in Australia, after having spent the previous 13 hours either on an airplane or in an airport, we were exhausted. Ted snuggled up to me and held me as I went quickly off to sleep. I was ready to make love if he wanted and although he said I should rest first, I know he wanted to as several times in the night as I stirred, I could feel him pull away so that his erection wouldn't continue to poke me in the ass.

I intended to wake him with a blowjob but he was up and showered before I woke. I had him come back to our bed where I proceeded with the blowjob but we ended up with him on his back and me riding him "cowgirl" so he could play with my tits. It didn't take long for him to boil over and I would have been happy with that but I've learned that Ted is not afraid of his own cum and almost always insists that I orgasm as well.

He ate me that morning to two delicious orgasms.

In our bed it seemed like Ted was determined to make married sex even better than we had been having beforehand. He confirmed how much I like oral sex and how much I love to have my nipples licked as my excitement builds.

I thought we had done most things while dating but Ted had other ideas. We showered together, tried sex in a hot tub and out on the balcony of our room among a great deal of other things. 

After discussing it we decided we would be comfortable on a "bathing suits optional" beach. We were so much into each other at the time that I don't recall being at all shy and neither was Ted.

Much is made of some of the beauties that sometimes adorn such beaches and I guess there were a few but, if anything made me at all uncomfortable, it was the amount of female attention Ted attracted. He seemed oblivious to it but I sure as hell saw several women, both old and young, who seemed to stroll by quite frequently staring at my husband as they did.

Overall the honeymoon was wonderful but toward the end of it I noticed Ted was making more and more calls to Katie, his one and only employee at the time.

Business was good but it was becoming more than she could manage on her own.

We returned to what was now our home and for the next 5 years we built his business and my career and for the most part it was good.

Just after our 5th anniversary I began to notice that our relationship had begun to deteriorate. Ted's business had grown exponentially and he now had 14 employees and a large office building he shared with a local cable company here in the city and 8 employees and an office in Savannah, which he visited on Wednesdays and Thursdays by flying down Wednesday morning and returning Thursday evenings. He was working anywhere from 10 to 15 hours a day, 7 days a week and when he wasn't working he was exhausted.

My immediate boss retired and I was made Vice President of Operations. For a while I was too busy myself to realize that we had become two separate people living in the same house and occasionally sharing the same bed.

When it occurred to me what was happening, I decided to do something positive about it and began to look for effective ways to delegate tasks at work. After a few months, not only had I reduced the time demands from my job but we had also improved our operational effectiveness and I was rewarded with a larger salary and more stock options.

Once I had done "my share" I demanded some of Ted's time and pointed out what I had seen in our relationship and what I had done and asked him to do something similar.

He agreed at once and for a while he spent time hiring some more help, the most significant of whom was my brother Rob. 

Rob had been building his own financial services business but after 9/11 he suffered some severe losses in clientele and finally gave it up. He began working for a large mutual fund company but was unhappy with it. 

Ted changed all that and after only 6 weeks on the job, my brother started to take some of the load and Ted planned a small holiday to celebrate.

We had a week in a remote cabin in the mountains in northern Georgia and it was like heaven on earth. The scenery was breathtaking. The cabin was built into the mountain by a large pond or small lake which was fed by a waterfall from above the cabin.

The water was freezing even in August but we had an old Jacuzzi that we went into first and once we were warm we ran naked to the lake. We warmed up by making love afterwards, sometimes in our bed and once or twice on a mattress by the lake.

We took long walks and sometimes in the heat of the day I wore a "T" shirt and a short skirt and nothing else. My husband responded accordingly and a few times we made love just off the trail. It was exciting but I was pleased my husband is a practical man and later that week he carried a soft quilt to save me from the pine needles.

I found that I just loved that cabin and a few evenings we discussed buying something like it for ourselves. It was less than 3 hours drive from Atlanta and there was a small airport with local service only 40 minutes away.

Our "dream" cabin had all the scenic advantages but with all the modern conveniences too and it was great fun planning it with Ted.

Things were great for about 5 or 6 weeks after that. Ted wasn't always able to get away but he did so more often and that was good enough for me. I began to think I should talk to him about me resigning and starting a family. I had a great job and I worked with great people but I was beginning to think I had had enough career success outside our home and wanted to have some at home.

I also encouraged Ted to do some positive things for our relationship on his own without prompting from me. I loved him unconditionally but I knew in my heart I wanted him to actively work at it as well. 

He agreed enthusiastically.

I can't pinpoint when things started to go south after that but it may have been the first week that Ted took Rob with him to Savannah. In order to get Rob acquainted with that part of the operation they would be gone until Saturday. That wasn't so bad but that one extended trip became two and then three and so on until it was commonplace for Ted and Rob to be gone most weekends.

Clearly Ted was not living up to his promise to work on our relationship so I had to find a way to get him back on track.

I started to go to his office once or twice a week when he was in town, to grab lunch or even just a coffee with my husband. He seemed to appreciate the visits but not much else changed.

While I was at his office he was sometimes busy when I arrived so I waited in the staff lounge and it was there that I met Jerry Craig.

Jerry is good looking but in a "flashy" sort of way and he was quick to flirt even with the boss's wife. I wasn't really attracted to him but he helped to pass the time while I was waiting for Ted. 

One day Jerry was beginning to get all too familiar. He had moved close to me and was putting his arm around me. I was about to pull away and tell him firmly that his advances were not welcome when Ted came into the room.

His look of consternation made Jerry pull away quickly but Ted's composure returned and we went out for lunch. That night Ted was very attentive and he actually took the following weekend off and we played golf together for the first time in months. We went out for dinner and ended up making love on the living room floor as we had worked each other into a level of excitement that wouldn't wait till we got upstairs.

That, however, was short lived as Ted fell back into being gone for the extended weekends with Rob once again.

I tried talking with my brother Rob as he and I have always got along but he just assured me that he would be able to operate on his own soon and Ted wouldn't have to make those trips much longer.

One afternoon I went for lunch at the sandwich bar near my office and was shocked to run into Jerry Craig. He resumed his overly familiar manner and I pushed him away but perhaps more gently than I should have.

A vague idea was forming in my mind that I might use this weasel to get some more attention from my husband. I had absolutely no compunction in using him like that. I didn't like him and felt he wasn't the sort of person I would have in my business. In fact, it did briefly occur to me that he wasn't the sort that Ted would have in his business either.

Jerry said he often ate there and that he might see me again sometime.

I should have put a stop to it but he was such an ass that using him to get me more attention from my husband didn't bother me a bit. At the time, however, I had no idea how to go about doing that, so I continued to string him along making sure I was firm. Lunch only!

Two days later, not only did he arrive at lunchtime but he had a small bouquet of flowers for me. 

It occurred to me that too much of this so close to my office wasn't a good idea and I told Jerry I wasn't interested in continuing. I suspect he had figured out what was wrong and managed to mention an incredible gourmet lunch counter about 20 minutes away. I felt that that was not a good idea but I still had this vague idea that I still might use him to spark more interest by my husband, so I once more made it clear that, as long as he understood this was lunch only, I would meet him there.

Over the following week we were there 3 more times and the week after that, a couple more times, each time he arrived with a flower or a small bouquet.

It was at the last of those lunches that he asked me out for dinner the following night. It would be Wednesday and the slimy bastard knew Ted would be out of town.

I answered honestly that I was busy and that I wasn't interested.

The following night I represented our company at the Atlanta Business Leaders Ass'n dinner at the Havencroft Hotel just on the outskirts of the city. Jerry was there, although I have no idea why, but he was clearly surprised to see me too and with still a vague plan in my mind to use Jerry to make Ted pay more attention, I joined him for a late dinner.

In a moment of foolishness, thinking I needed time to figure out how to get Ted's attention, I agreed to meet Jerry the following Wednesday for dinner, adding clearly that it would be dinner ONLY. 

He agreed.

That weekend when he got back late on Sunday instead of the normal Thursday, Ted seemed even more worn out than normal but it began to piss me off that I had made the effort to join him for coffee or lunch at his office and not only had he not reciprocated, he was taking Rob on another of those extended trips the following week and wasn't getting back until Saturday.

He did ask how my weekend had been, but a combination of being pissed at his intent to be away the following week and my lack of a definite plan for how to use Jerry, led me to toss off the question and not mention my dinner companion.

Instead of canceling my dinner with Jerry, I went that next week and even more foolishly, I went to the lounge where there was dancing. I had one drink and actually danced with him about a half dozen times. Later that evening I could feel him pushing his erection against me so I, said goodnight and left.

The following week there was more of the same. Ted was going to be away until Saturday again!

I think I had begun to suspect that this vague idea to make Ted jealous was not going anywhere but I didn't make the decision to break it off until later that last Wednesday night, the third time we had dinner and the second we were dancing. 

It all came together for me when Jerry blatantly said it was time I went with him to his room for the rest of the week.

There was no way in hell I was going to do that!

I knew that subconsciously, I picked the slimy bastard because I wanted to do something that would shake up my husband and force him to be more attentive to our marriage, but I did it with Jerry because deep down I knew I would never get into his bed and I would never get seriously involved with him.

I had chosen well however. He was very complimentary. He called often just to say "Hi." And he slipped me a note now and then that had the "I'm thinking of you!" theme. He always had a flower or flowers for me ever since that first lunch.

It was actually fun to watch his expression as I calmly told him that not only was I not going to his room to fuck him but that I was never going to meet him again for lunch, dinner or for any other reason. .

I had covered myself well. I always drove my own car and I always put the notes, cards and flowers into the nearest dumpster or shredder as soon as I was out of his sight.

Using him was a stupid idea anyway.

Ted might be jealous in his own way but he might be more likely to be pissed at me than change his own ways.

As I drove home that night, I became firm in my realization that I would rather have Ted the way he is than be without him and although I had never even come close to getting into Jerry's bed (and I never would) I hadn't exactly been a model wife lately and I was determined to make it up to my husband.

If he wasn't very romantic, I would be romantic enough for both of us!

It's funny but I had been at lunch, dinner and dancing with a man who is very attentive and who does all the little things I would like Ted to do and never once was I even mildly excited, yet during those last few minutes just thinking about doing romantic things with the husband who has pissed me off with his lack of attentiveness, I was so excited, I was getting wet.

Go figure!

Damn I had been dumb those past few weeks, thinking that attention from another man might kick start my husband to work a little more on our relationship. That was really a very stupid thing to do.

By the time I drove into our driveway thinking about the things I was going to do with him I was horny as hell and determined to do myself a few times to keep me balanced until my husband got home on Sunday.

As I drove into the garage I noticed the porch lights were off. 

I thought I had left them on.

I entered the house and turned on the hall lights intending to head straight for the bedroom and get myself off before the excitement got to be too much to bear. I burst into the bed room and almost screamed in fright before I saw that Ted was standing at our bed where his suitcase lay. He was apparently unpacking from his trip although it seemed odd that there were an awful lot of his clothes on the bed.

Still at least a little in shock I blurted out, "Ted, I'm surprised to see you home. I thought you were staying in Savannah the rest of the week."

He turned to face me and with an incredibly sad look said, "That's a coincidence. I'm surprised to see you home too. I thought you were staying at the Havencroft with Jerry Craig for the rest of the week."

Chapter 2 Ted

"I can't live without her!"

"I'll never love anyone like I love her."

"This pain will never go away."

Bullshit!

It's all bullshit.

Sure, I'm hurting. It hurts like hell, but I know that with time the hurt will fade and eventually go away and there will be others to love and to love me.




I Am Not A Wimp Pt. 01



All I need is time.

Once I confirmed that she was seeing Jerry Craig, I knew I would have to end it.

I'm never going to be like my Dad! I loved him but I'll never be like him.

My Mom died when I was ten and Dad handled it very, very badly.

His self pity became obnoxious, even for a preteen as I was at the time, and he pretty much stayed that way until he met Janice. Even to a 12 year old like me, Janice was gorgeous and more than once it puzzled me to see what she saw in my Dad as she was only 10 years older than me.

I eventually saw that too.

Dad, when he wasn't feeling sorry for himself, was the nicest guy you could ever meet and pretty successful too, not to mention he had my mom's insurance money of $250,000 and Janice, I guess, was determined to cash in on it all.

Initially she appeared to be a good wife and Dad was in 7th heaven. When it began, she saw her "friends" away from the house and to all appearances continued to be a good wife. 

Dad was happiest then.

But apparently he caught her in a lie and one night she tearfully confessed to having had a one night stand. Dad was upset but as I recall, with Janice somewhat contrite, that same evening he was back to being happy.

The two of them were noisily fucking and sucking for the rest of the night. The next morning you would have thought that Dad had won the lottery!

Things went downhill from there.

After a few more "one time only" flings she caught on to the fact that Dad had no guts nor pride and she could do as she pleased and we fell into an unending cycle of her fucking around, Dad going into a sulking fit, her coaxing him out of it and the two of them fucking up a storm while making up.

A few times I came home to find her fucking some guy in their bedroom on their marital bed. I told Dad but after a period of him sulking more than anything, she seemed to be able to convince him that she loved him and that it was 'only sex'. She would have her sister or a neighbor come to talk with Dad and her and convince him that a reconciliation was best for all.

Soon she was openly fucking guys when Dad would come home from work and not long after that she started drinking heavily and when she did, she and her fuck buddies would openly taunt him. They would ask him if he wanted to watch or jerk off or if he wanted to eat her out when they were done. I never hated her more than I did the night that she laughed and said how much she would love to have him suck the cum out of her

After that there were numerous times when Dad came home to find her drunk and doing one of her fuck buddies and on more than one of those occasions, I suspect, he took part in some kinky sex with Janice and her 'lover of the month'.

Strangely, when she wasn't drunk and didn't have one of her fuck buddies in the house and when Dad wasn't sulking, which pissed her off no end, she wasn't really a bad person. On those occasions she often made a lunch for me to take to school, I always had clean clothes and she often drove me to games and to practices and just as often, stayed and watched and then got me and my friends safely home afterward.

I soon learned that things and people are not always as they appear nor are they always the same from one day to the next.

Then everything came to a head.

I remember that day all too well! It was when I was about 14. She was fucking a huge brute of a guy in their bed with the bedroom door wide open. I went to my room and about 20 minutes later I heard an awful commotion.

When I finally went down to see, Janice was naked on the bed, her legs spread wide, laughing hysterically as the man had Dad's arm bent up behind his back forcing his face into Janice's crotch, pushing it into her freshly fucked cunt.

Janice was shouting out how much she loved that as she gasped for breath and just as I came into the room she screamed out in what I later realized was probably a powerful orgasm.

I picked up a small chair from her make-up counter and smashed it into the brute's back. He went down but let go of my Dad and started to come back up at me. I hit him again and again with the chair until Dad stopped me.

The police initially charged me with assault but Janice, I think because she thought it would help her deal with Dad, admitted the man was assaulting her husband so they dropped the charge.

Now that the whole matter had involved me and threatened my well being, Dad finally got his act together and threw Janice out, but he never recovered and for the next 9 years I took care of him while he drowned in his self pity until he finally died 5 days after my 23rd birthday from a combination of booze, lack of nutrition and frankly, a loss of the will to live.

I loved him but I would never be like him.

I worked and played hard pretty much on my own after that. 

I had a very successful university career and at 28 I started my own company and I met and bedded a number of women most of whom I really liked but not so much as I would get into any kind of "relationship". 

As soon as the "commitment" type arrangements were even mentioned I did my best to be graceful and friendly about it, but I took my leave A.S.A.P..

On my professional side, I knew that in the development of any business there is that one deal, that one client, who becomes the turning point in the success of the enterprise. In my case it was the Deston deal!

I could see at the outset that it may have been too much for my limited resources but the opportunity was too good to pass up so I sucked it up, made a top notch proposal and was petrified when I got the contract.

To this day I know full well I could never have pulled it off if Ralph Stocks, the President and C.E.O. of Deston hadn't assigned his top assistant V.P. to assist in gathering and arranging the data.

She was incredible!

Jennifer Wells was her name. She was one of the most talented people I've met in the business world. Hard working and incredibly intelligent and knowledgeable, she was also one of the most charming people I've met and, you guessed it, she was beautiful.

Her staff would die for her I'm sure and she seemed to know them so well that she got the best out of each of them.

It took a great many hours of very hard work but we got it done.

That last weekend as we finished up, I was torn. I knew that was the turning point for my company and I was overjoyed, yet sad, as I had come to really admire this woman and I knew I would miss her.

As it happened, we ended up eating Chinese at her place that last night and it was clear to me that she was as interested in me as I was in her.

It wasn't too long after that that I ended up moving to Atlanta and setting up my home office there and Jenny and I began seeing each other.

As I've already said, in addition to being as talented as she was, she was beautiful too and I was frequently tempted to press for the nearest bed but I was enjoying her company too much to piss it away on another "relationship" and "commitment" issue, so I actually avoided getting sexually involved.

Believe me! That was difficult!

It finally came to a head one night when Jenny confronted me with the question and I had no choice but to tell the truth.

Given that I wanted her and she clearly wanted me, we ended up in her bed. I needed desperately to make it great for her but I had been holding off for so long that I couldn't last and I came much sooner than I wanted, yet the look of joy on her face when I did was so vivid, it was like she had the most exquisite orgasm imaginable.

Things only got better from there.

At first I was constantly on guard for the "L" word and the "M" word but none came. 

It was great! 

Nothing to back away from let me go on continuing to be with her. The sex was great but she was much, much more than that to me and then, strange as it seems, I realized that I was getting anxious to have some commitment in this relationship.

As that thought came to me, I thought back to how badly things had gone for my Dad and I decided that I really wanted to be with Jenny and that if in the long run, it didn't work out, I would survive it and I wouldn't let it destroy me as it had my Dad, so I decided to ask her to marry me.

That wasn't an easy decision but it was even harder to implement. It occurred to me that Jenny hadn't ever pressed the issue as had virtually every other woman I had been with. That led me to believe that she too may be avoiding commitment and that I might well get turned down.

I initially decided to ask her at Christmas but I was afraid she might say no in front of everyone so I went the direct route and told her what I was up to.

When I finally realized she wanted me too, I couldn't wait to tell her folks and our friends.

Our first 5 years were exciting ones. Jenny got a well earned promotion to V.P. and I was thrilled to hear Ralph Stocks tell me one day that she was undoubtedly the best he had ever had working for him.

I managed to keep my company on the fast growth track and, by the end of that 5 years, it was making as much money as Jenny did. That however soured a little as I began to realize we weren't a "couple" like we once were.

It had been bothering me for a while when one night Jenny asked me to take some time to hear her out. She began by telling me some of the things she had done that had resulted in some more stock options and a larger salary and my pride in her accomplishments grew again, but it was what she said next that meant the most to me.

Apparently she had actually earned these things while trying to find a way to cut back her company time and spend more time with me. I was overwhelmed with love and appreciation for her and I vowed to do the same.

I knew I needed more help but it had to be someone I could trust in a leadership role and my best person, Katie Sands, who had been my first employee, made it clear she would take on no more responsibility. I was desperate to find someone so I could keep my promises to my wife when the answer appeared in front of me.

We were on an all too rare evening out with Jenny's brother Rob and his wife Diane. Rob, next to Jenny herself, I regarded as my best friend and I was initially sympathetic to hear that he was not happy with his job at the mutual fund company. As I commiserated with him that night, I came to realize that this was a major opportunity.

I offered him a job with me with the intent that, if he could show he was up to it, he would gradually take up more of the management chores from me.

In the first few weeks it became apparent that this was a match made in heaven. Rob clearly was enjoying the new challenges and he was a quick study. He picked up instruction well and had the intelligence and guts to make decisions on his own.

He wasn't always right, but then, neither was I, but I was thrilled to see that when things went badly, he was quick to accept responsibility and when they went well, he was even quicker to share the praise with his staff who quickly grew to like and respect him.

Things went so well that I felt comfortable, as did Rob, in leaving him in charge while Jenny and I took a much needed holiday. We rented a cabin in the mountains in north Georgia and it was incredible.

In spite of how things have turned out overall, I'll always be grateful that Jenny pushed me to make the time for that vacation. It did wonders for me and for us, at least so I thought at the time.

Perhaps the biggest thrill of all for me was how much Jenny enjoyed the cabin and its surroundings. We began to plan our own "dream cabin" and that was a great deal of fun for the next several weeks.

When we got back there were a few matters to handle but by far in large, Rob had done a superb job. One of the sweetest things I will ever have happen to me was at Rob's place about a week after we returned. Diane, our sister, gave me a hug and kiss while we were alone in her kitchen and told me how much better their lives had become after Rob got a job he could really enjoy and excel at. She had tears in her eyes as she thanked me and I had tears in mine as I pointed out how much better my life was now that I had him to count on to back me up.

Not long after that Jenny made an excellent point. She had instigated some significant improvements in our relationship and she felt that it would be nice if I tried to do the same.

I knew what I was going to do and with my co-conspirator, Rob, on the pretext of having to stay overtime in Savannah while Rob got a handle on the operation there (Hell! By that time he already knew as much as me or maybe more!) we stayed in Savannah for one day then flew to northern Georgia to search for some land. We saw several sites but none to our satisfaction so we went back the following week on the same pretext.

That time we found the perfect site and even managed to hire a contractor who was willing to have Rob and I frequently join his crew to oversee that Jenny's and my "dream cabin" became a reality.

Too many times one or the other of us almost gave it away but we did manage to keep the secret so that my wife, whom I adore, could be surprised with a dream come true.

To make things even better, Jenny started to drop in to the Atlanta office now and then, taking time out of her own busy schedule, for lunch or even just a coffee. I couldn't believe how I could be so lucky to have a wife like that.

There was one day when she was there when I walked into the staff lounge to see that weasel Jerry Craig getting all too familiar with Jenny. He would have been the hell out of there long before that, but just as we were about to can him, we were made aware of an on-going investigation by the FBI of his involvement in a software financing scam back in New Jersey.

He had actually come to us highly recommended and he was a hell of a sales person but he was backhanded about too many things and a constant pain in the ass, usually over putting the make on some of the women in the office, so we decided to get rid of him. With our promised co-operation with the on-going FBI investigation, we put off firing him for about six weeks and they undertook to keep an eye on him while he was still with us.

It was obvious that Jenny wasn't comfortable with him that day and I assumed it was because he had, as we have so often seen him do, gotten too familiar with a guest, in this case, my wife. I would have nailed him right then and there but we had promised the FB I so I decided to take a weekend away from our "dream cabin" project and spent it with Jenny to try to make up for her having to put up with that jerk. 

Like almost all the time I spend with Jenny, it was terrific! 

The following weekend Rob and I headed to the cabin via Savannah. The project was starting to take shape and the week after that I decided to return the favor to Jenny and appear at her company for lunch. She had left the office when I arrived but Kathy, her secretary was sure she was at a nearby lunch bar. She gave me directions but somehow I didn't find it in time and as I was headed back to my own office, already late for an appointment, I saw Jenny and, of all people, Jerry Craig on the sidewalk at the other side of the road.

We had been asked by the FBI not to share the information about Jerry with anyone but I was sure that I could tell my own wife and I would when she told me that night about who she met at lunch.

The start to my awakening as to what was really going on came that night when my wife didn't tell me about it at all.

It bothered me somewhat but I rationalized that maybe she thought so little of it, she didn't get around to mentioning it.

The cabin was nearing completion and the excitement of planning the surprise for Jenny blotted out any further concern about Jerry Craig. Rob did mention to me that Jenny had spoken to him about our weekends away and I could see she was getting a little pissed about it, so we decided that a surprise weekend away would be at our own cabin in one month.

The construction guys were finished for the most part. The carpet folks and painters were ready to move in and the landscapers were co-coordinating with the men who were there to install our outdoor Jacuzzi. 

The furniture, as far as I dared do it without Jenny, would be delivered in 2 to 3 weeks.

It was just 10 days before I was to take Jenny away on a surprise weekend and only one day before Rob and I were off to make a final inspection of the cabin when three things happened to rock my world. 

I was discussing a routine report with the FBI agent who had given it to me when I saw that Jerry Craig had shown up at a business association meeting at the Havercroft Hotel. The agent wanted to know if that was part of his job or was Jerry maybe looking for some more scam victims.

I knew it wasn't part of his job and I knew that Deston's representative at that meeting was my wife and she had said nothing to me about meeting him there!

The second thing was that, in spite of my concern and confusion at finding out they were together at that meeting as well as that day at the lunch bar, I became aware that Rod Kells, our mailroom/copyroom manager was upset and needed to talk to me . . . in private.

I like Rod and would normally do anything to help him out, but I was upset with what I had just found out and initially put him off as politely as I could. His reaction was little short of alarming so I put my own issues aside to hear him out and his issue soon became mine.

Rod is a talented but meek fellow, often ignored by a few insensitive co-workers and Jerry Craig had ignored him while apparently boasting to one of his cronies that he had been fucking the boss's wife and would be spending the rest of the week at the Havercroft with her while her "jerk husband" was out of town.

I thanked Rod for his concern and after receiving his assurance that he wouldn't share that information with anyone else, I went to see Rob.

I was on my way to Rob's office when a call came through from Chuck Sanders, owner of Billows Electric and one of my earliest customers. Without thinking I took the call.

"Ted, I'm glad to hear you're doing O.K. We haven't seen much of you lately and when Susan and I saw Jenny at the Havercroft a couple of weeks ago and again last week in the lounge, it reminded me to give you a call."

I really don't remember what I said but when the call was finally ended I once again headed for Rob's office.

In spite of my own personal turmoil I noticed at once that Rob was upset. As I entered his office and asked, "Got a minute?" he looked up as if frightened or even guilty.

He recovered quickly and asked me to sit down and as he did he seemed to notice my discomfort.

"You O.K.?"

"No! I'm not really. I think Jenny has finally gotten fed up with me and our marriage!"

If anything, he seemed to sink into himself and after a moment said, "How did you find out?"

The way he said it made it clear he had found out the same thing. I told him what I had seen over the past few weeks, adding how pissed Jenny was over us being away and what the FBI agent, Rod Kells and Chuck Sanders had told me. When I was done, he told me that he too had just heard from a staff member that Jerry Craig had been boasting that he was going to be staying at the Havercroft with the boss's wife this weekend and had even gone so far as to invite one of his cronies to check them out at the Havercroft lounge on the previous Wednesday night. 

The staff member, a young woman whose office conduct has given us cause for concern, allegedly did appear at the lounge and confirmed to fellow staff that Jerry Craig was there with Jenny Conden.

"Ted, I can't really believe that Jenny would do this. I know she's my sister and my view isn't unbiased but it's just not like her."




I Am Not A Wimp Pt. 01



"To tell you the truth Rob, I agree, but I'm not sure if it's because that's what I believe or what I want to believe. The only thing I'm sure of is that Jenny deserves to have me confirm things myself before I say or do anything."

"Thanks Ted. She's my sister and I love her but I can see the hell you must be going through. I appreciate you giving her at least the benefit of the doubt. What are you going to do?"

"Let's pass on the cabin this week but not tell Jenny. You decide how to handle Diane. I trust you both. I'll leave as I normally do and I'll check to see what Jenny actually does do on Wednesday. If she does go to the Havercroft, I'll be hurt but I'll survive. She's given me 5 great years that I wouldn't want to have missed out on. I can hang on for another day or two."

I worked late that night and as I suspected, Jenny was fast asleep when I got home. I woke early, packed an overnight bag and left seemingly for Savannah in the morning. Jenny woke before I left and was still obviously pissed about me going away again but she did kiss me goodbye.

I got a room at the Havercroft then spent the day in it using my laptop and my cell phone to keep in touch with my two offices. Rob had elected to tell Diane what was up and that led to more bad news. 

Diane too had pretty much ignored a few comments made to her from mutual friends who claimed to have seen Jenny at a lunch joint across town with the same guy she was dancing with at the Havercroft last week. When she put that together with what Rob and I had found out she was alarmed and insisted we call Jenny at once.

Rob had to use his considerable arguing skills to stop her and let things take whatever course they did.

As I was alone almost all of that day I began to realize that my marriage may be over. I was determined not to be like my Dad and after a great deal of soul searching, I made up my mind to be dignified in all that I said and did. 

I knew I was hurting but I was also convinced that I would survive it and go on with my life. One of the things that made this hurt so much was that for the last 5 or 6 years, with Jenny in it, my life has been better than ever before and for that I would not be vengeful toward her in any way.

As I understood it, Jerry Craig was to be arrested soon and, along with him, the FBI would be able to prosecute a number of others, almost all of whom will be pissed at him for leading the authorities to them. They told me his life was going to be a living hell both in and out of jail.

All I had to do was take the time to let myself heal!

I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that I was still hoping there would be some rational explanation for all this but, in my heart of hearts, I knew it was unlikely and later that afternoon when, with my own eyes, I saw Jenny come into the lobby and pass on through to the dining room where I already knew Jerry Craig was waiting, I knew it was over.

I fought off an overwhelming urge to burst into the dining room and confront the two of them. I knew I was not in as much control as I would need to be to do that so, in order not to lose it, like Dad, I retrieved my briefcase and overnight bag and headed for what used to be "home" to pack.

As I drove away I began to understand my Dad quite a bit better. The pain was almost unbearable and I knew I needed to speak to someone. I thought long and hard before I made the detour to go see Rob and Diane.

When I told him what I had seen and that I was on my way home to pack, I was sure I could see his pain. He and Jenny were very close as siblings and he and I knew that outside of our wives, we were best friends. I almost felt sorry for him being caught between us.

Diane broke down. Her sobbing almost put me over the edge and finally I could see that Rob needed to help her deal with it.

I left then but, before I did, Diane gained some control and took me into her arms and hugged me tightly.

When I got home I was wiped emotionally and although I got some of it done, I thought I would leave the rest of the packing until the morning. I turned out all the lights and tried to rest but it was to no avail, so I got up and laid out all the rest of my clothes on the bed and began to pack them.

Not long after that I was shocked to see Jenny burst through the door into our bedroom.

"Shit!" I thought to myself. "She's bringing him home to fuck! What do I do now, play the willing cuckold or compromise an FBI investigation?"

Chapter 3 Jenny

I have no idea how long it took me to process what Ted had just said to me but while I worked it out, he was back to unpacking. 

The next bit of information I managed to process was that he was putting his clothes into the case, not taking them out.

"What are you doing?" I blurted out, still shaken from finding him home and me feeling at least a little guilty.

Ted turned and his expression radiated a powerful sadness. He swallowed and as if to prepare himself, then took a deep breath and when he let it out he said quietly, "Let's just get this done Jenny. I know about you and Jerry Craig. I'm hurt that you turned to him, I'm more than a little pissed that you didn't have the guts to tell me to my face and I'm shocked that you picked an asshole like Craig. I hope you're not planning a long term relationship with him. I don't think he's going to be around much longer. 

This house is yours. It always has been. That was in the pre-nup. I'll be out of here in a few minutes. Perhaps you'd better call him and let him know I'm here because if he arrives before I leave there will be serious consequences."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I shouted, but as I did the realization that Ted thought I had an affair going with Jerry Craig exploded into my mind. My first reaction was anger that he would think I'd do such a thing. My second reaction was that Ted was serious. There were several cartons all neatly taped shut and all his luggage was in our bedroom.

"Ted!" I said, all too loudly. "You are way out of line here." I continued, but the picture was becoming all too clear and I could feel the fear start to clutch at my chest.

"Don't do this Jenny. There's no need for us to get stupid about it. What's done is done. I will not stay in a marriage like you have made ours into."

"Ted, you've got it all wrong. There's nothing between Jerry Craig and me. I agree with you. He's an asshole!"

Ted looked at me with that same expression like the one I have seen so many times on the job, from men who cannot stand listening to a woman who has her own ideas.

"An asshole! YOU think he's an asshole? The guy you've been seeing for lunch for at least the last 3 or 4 weeks. The guy you been to the Havercroft Hotel with these past Wednesdays while I've been out of town? Come on Jenny, there's no way you're going to make me believe you've been doing all that with a guy you think is an asshole! Give me credit for having some brains!"

I was shell shocked! I was moving my lips but there were no words coming out. There were no words because I couldn't think of any.

After what seemed like an eternity but was probably only a few seconds Ted continued in a much calmer voice, "There's no need for this Jenny. I know what's been going on, I'm not staying, let's just let it go."

"No, no!" I shouted out, "Let me explain. It's not what it looks like!"

There was that God Damned look again. The one that said something like "You're a stupid woman. What the hell do you know?"

"Jenny, I have no need to know why. I have no need to know the gory details. It's enough that it has happened, that I saw you this evening at the Havercroft with Craig. I know that you've been seeing him for the last several weeks. I DO NOT NEED ANY MORE INFORMATION!"

Not only was I fighting to try to say something intelligent and explanatory, I was now fighting just to breathe. Ted knows about me seeing Jerry Craig! By the sounds of it, he's known about it for a while. BUT . . . he thinks I've been fucking him! Why in hell would he think that about me? 

For a moment I felt the anger coming back but it was quickly overwhelmed by FEAR!

"Ted, I love you. I wouldn't fuck anyone else. You should know me better than that!"

Again . . . a long pause as Ted seemed to carefully choose his words but before he spoke, I continued, "I did see Jerry for lunch a few times and for dinner a couple of times and a few dances but I have not done anything else!. You can't walk out on 5 great years because I had dinner a few times with another guy." 

In spite of my need to keep calm I could feel the panic setting into my voice.

Ted turned again and stared at me with that 'You really are a stupid woman.' look.

"Alright Jenny, let's do it your way. To me our marriage was built on trust, mutual respect, and love. Let's take those things one at a time. There were times over the past weeks when I have given you every opportunity to tell me you had lunch with Jerry Craig, that you met Jerry Craig for dinner at the Havercroft and that you were at the Havercroft Lounge dancing with him while I was out of town. I trust that if you had nothing to hide, if you weren't doing anything wrong, you would have at least mentioned it. Did you?"

Before I could form the words to explain, he continued.

"Then there's mutual respect. Aren't you the one that once told me that we had to maintain some dignity around our own employees or was that applicable only to your employees, because Craig has been boasting for some time now around our office that he has been fucking you for a while. He even invited some of my staff show up at the Havercroft to see the two of you together and, as I understand it, at least one of them did show up and guess what she saw! My wife there in his arms while they all knew I was out of town."

"Oh Ted, I'm so sorry. I . . ."

"It doesn't end there Jenny. I got a call from Chuck and Susan Sanders. They were at the Havercroft two weeks in a row and saw you there without me and wondered if I was O.K. Some of my staff also spoke to Rob about you being there with him as well and when he and Diane talked about it Diane said some of her friends were asking too. They apparently eat at the diner across town that you and Craig have been using at lunch times.

Well how are we doing Jenny? That's trust and mutual respect down and 'love' to go."

Ted paused again as if to assemble his thoughts. "I do love you Jenny and these past 5 years have been the best of my life and for that I'm willing just to walk away without any more fuss."

Now I was desperate for something logical and profound to say. This was all getting way out of hand. "Ted, for the past several weeks I have been doing everything I could to bring us closer. I've come to your office to have lunch or just a coffee. I've been trying to bring us closer but you haven't helped much at all."

Somehow I knew as soon as I said that, I had dug myself in deeper.

"Well, about three weeks ago I came to have lunch with you and I saw you with him just leaving the sandwich joint near your office. I was sure you would tell me you had met him but that evening but you never said a word about it. Fool that I was, I trusted you even then and decided that meeting him was so unimportant to you that you just didn't get around to mentioning it. So, keeping in mind who you have been lunching, dining, dancing and God knows what else with, help me believe that it was really me you came to my office to see!"

He closed up the last of the suitcases picked up his overnight bag and headed for the door.

"Ted. Stop please stop. I'm sorry. I've made a terrible mess of things but I have never fucked Jerry Craig. I've never even come close to it and I never would. I've been trying to find a way to make you jealous enough of him to pay more attention to me. It worked the day you saw him with me in your staff lounge and I somehow thought it might work again. That was a great night and a great weekend Ted and I wanted more. Was that so terribly bad?" 

"That makes no sense. You can't make me jealous when you hide from me who you're seeing. Jenny, I'm tired and I can't do this anymore. Just let it go. I'll send for the rest of my things tomorrow. I'm leaving now."

And with that he picked up his bag and went down the stairs and out the door.

The tears were not long in coming although I was somewhat in shock to have gone so quickly from having erotic thoughts about my husband during the drive home, to seeing him walk out the door because he thinks I have been unfaithful to him. Him thinking that has certainly added some annoyance, even anger, to my mix of emotions just now.

I needed to talk to my big brother so in spite of the late hour I called him. He answered almost immediately.

"Ted, are you O.K.?" he said as he picked up the phone.

"It's not Ted, Rob."

"Jenny? You're home? I saw the number come up on my phone. When did you get home? Don't tell me you brought that creep Craig to your own home." He almost shouted into the phone.

"Come on Rob. Not you too. I left that creep, as you call him, at the Havercroft but I'm mad as hell that you would even think I'd do such a thing."

"If it wasn't for the things I do know you have been doing with that fuckhead over the past few weeks," He answered. "I would never have thought it in a thousand years, but now I'm not sure I even know you." 

"Oh Rob please. Ted has left me. He has some fool notion that I've had sex with Jerry Craig. He won't even listen to me. Can I come over? Please. I really need you Rob, please."

I don't even recall the ride over to their place but Rob was at the door when I arrived and Diane was standing behind him with a look that might kill.

Rob seemed embarrassed but Diane was angry and I had no sooner got in the door, when she said, "Jenny I hope to hell that either you have an explanation for all this or you're prepared to live without Ted in your life. What the hell has been going on with you and Jerry Craig. He's a creep Jen. What happened?"

She might have been angry but she at least gave me an opening to tell my side. I asked for and got a brandy as I settled in to tell everything. I began with some of what they already knew and went on to seeing Jerry Craig at Ted's office and how attentive Ted had been that following weekend and how I had a vague notion that it might instigate some positive and lasting response from Ted. 

I continued to state honestly that I was thinking of using Jerry Craig and strung him along before deciding not to do it and that I never had and never would be unfaithful to Ted. I admitted that doing what I had was foolish, but that's all it was.

I reiterated how Ted had promised to do something productive for me and our marriage and how hurt I was that he had gone back on his word and not only that but had actually put even more time into the job. I even vented a little on Rob as he had been working with Ted those times.

Rob's reaction to my complaint was nothing short of remarkable. His look made me do a double take. He looked over at Diane who just stared back for a few moments then said, "You tell her Rob, or I will."

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"Jenny, Ted and I have not been in Savannah all the times we were away." He began, then looked away as if embarrassed. It occurred to me that he and Ted may have been up to no good but I immediately rejected that idea. I don't think my brother would fool around on his wife and I know Ted wouldn't do that to me.

Rob continued, "He wanted to surprise you. He wanted it to be a "dream come true" for you. He bought some land up north and he and I have been working with the contractors almost every weekend so that he can come as close as possible to making your dream cabin come true."

At that moment I don't think that anything could make me feel worse than I did. No wonder he was so hurt. Here he was trying to make our dream cabin a reality and I'm off trying to make him jealous. What an idiot I've been.

"I'm afraid that's not all you don't know Sis." Rob added. "You need to keep what I'm about to tell you to yourself or there might be legal consequences. The FBI has Jerry Craig under surveillance. He is implicated in some kind of software project financing scheme back in New Jersey. Although they have not given Ted all the details, they have made him aware that he has been meeting with you for quite some time."

"Oh my God! Ted told me Chuck and Susan Sanders saw me with him too." I said.

"Do you remember my friend Ellie Black?" Diane asked. "You and Ted met her at the club at New Years. She works up in Marietta and thought she had seen you at a lunch place she and her co-workers use, but the guy with you wasn't Ted so she thought maybe it wasn't you. Then she and her husband saw you at The Havercroft with the same guy and he knew it was you. She called me to see if you and Ted were still together."

"Did you know," Rob began, "that Jerry Craig has been boasting about having fucked the boss's wife. He even had some of them come out to the Havercroft on Wednesday evenings to see you there with him for themselves?"

I just nodded my head because my tears wouldn't let me speak. Finally I calmed down enough to say, "Rob, I swear to you, I never even came close to fucking him. I never, ever would!"

"I'm not sure why," Diane said, "but I think I believe you, but Jenny, think how all this looks to Ted. He was there at the Havercroft earlier this evening. He saw the two of you together. It doesn't take much to see why he might think you were fucking him!"

"I know I've been a total idiot about this but I had already told Jerry I wasn't seeing him any more. I told him this evening before I went home. In retrospect, it seemed like a silly teenager's plan so I decided to forget it and told Jerry this evening before I went home. When I got there, Ted was packing to leave.

However stupid I've been, didn't I deserve at least a little more opportunity to explain all this to Ted?" I asked.

"He's pretty upset Sis. Maybe when he calms down you two can talk."

"I think." Diane began, "that we are going to have to find some way to convince him you haven't been fucking Craig. All the evidence he has seen and heard says you have been or you were about to. What can we do to deal with that?"

I had been thinking about that myself and notwithstanding my extremely foolish behavior, I still felt Ted should give me the benefit of the doubt if I just told him the truth but I wasn't about to push that line of thought too hard.

"Actually," Rob exclaimed, "there is a way we can prove it!"

Chapter 4 - Ted

I had no idea where to go or what to do so I headed for the cabin. I didn't want to talk to anyone except maybe Rob and I could tell he was caught in the middle so I purchased a cellphone at a local convenience store then called Rob with the number, telling him I was turning my regular mobile off. I requested that he not give the number to anyone else which he agreed to do.

He did ask me to talk to Jenny but I knew I wasn't going to do that. I would not be a wimp like my Dad. It would be easier not to forgive in the first place than get into the endless cycle of hurt and self-pity he let himself slide into.

I didn't really blame Rob. Jenny is his sister and he would have to stand by her at least to some extent so I simply refused and told him I would be out of town and that he was in charge. Use the throw-away number in an emergency but otherwise, handle everything himself.

I called Reg Westin, my lawyer and asked him to have someone on his staff begin the divorce process. Reg is basically a corporate lawyer and didn't handle matters like this. I explained what I knew and after extracting a promise not to reveal my location, I told him where to send my copy of the petition.




I Am Not A Wimp Pt. 01



I bought some groceries in town and settled in to the cottage. I was hoping that the beauty and the tranquility of the place would help ease the pain. Over the following two days I began to appreciate what kind of anguish my father might have been going through. I periodically checked my regular mobile and found 2 or 3 messages each day, all from Jenny. 

I am not a wimp and I'm not going to turn into one so I deleted them without listening to any of them.

On my third day at the cabin, Rob called on my new mobile. After asking how and where I was, he told me he had important information and wanted to see me. I love Rob but I could see he was caught in a squeeze between his sister and me so I said we would have to just talk as I was still on the move.

He went on to tell me that he had very carefully reviewed all the FBI surveillance reports on Jerry Craig and it was clear from all of them that although Jenny had been with him at the lunch hours and at the Havercroft they had parted company after each meeting without going to any place where they might have indulged in a sexual affair. The reports accounted for all of Jenny's time.

I am not a wimp. At best, she was dating the guy and all we did was get there before they got to fucking each other, otherwise, what was she doing with him in the first place?

Rob then asked if I would at least speak to her. I wasn't about to tell him where I was and I hated to tell him no, so I undertook to call at 8:00 that night, but only to talk to Jenny.

That afternoon a courier arrived with my copy of the divorce petition. It was pretty simple. Our pre-nup said that most everything was Jenny's and I had already taken my personal stuff. All we really needed was a formal dissolution to the marriage.

Other than my description of the events, I had not thought about it nor given Reg any directions about the petition and I was concerned that it stated that the grounds were Jenny's "adultery". 

I just wanted to end it, not get revenge. The 5 years with her were the best 5 of my life and I wanted to recognize that in the petition. I called Reg's office but it was closed for the day.

That evening, as promised I called and Jenny answered. I wasn't sure what to expect but Jenny took immediate charge of the conversation. 

"Ted, your avoidance of me has made it very difficult to get this matter resolved. There really is very little to it but I'm not trying to minimize how it must look to you. Rob and Diane have told me everything and it is obvious I allowed matters to look a great deal different than they were. For that I am truly sorry. I can see that you are hurt and embarrassed by what I did. Please know that I never meant to hurt or embarrass you. I was trying to find a way to attract your attention. I'm sorry Ted. Please believe me. 

I need you to know above all else that I never even came close to fucking Jerry Craig. Please call Reg Westin, stop this process and come home. Please give me a chance to make up for the pain I've caused you."

My emotions were mixed!

I could feel joy encroaching on my mind. I could see my love for Jenny soar when she said she hadn't fucked Craig and I almost jumped for joy when I finally realized that that would have been what my Dad did. I remember his absolute joy when he and Janice made up and then I remembered his devastation as he repeatedly allowed her to come back into his life only to hurt him again.

"Jenny I'm far too upset to come home or even to continue this conversation just now. I will need some more time to get my thoughts together so please leave me alone. I will however, call Reg Westin first thing in the morning and about that divorce petition. I'll be in touch as soon as I can get my own emotions under control."

"Ted, please come home. We can work this out together. Believe me, at worst it was just a harmless flirtation to mislead him into thinking I was interested. I love you and I want to be with you."

"I'll call when I can. " I said as I closed the connection knowing I had just wimped out. I really wanted to rant at her. "Just a harmless flirtation" in my pain and anguish it sounded all too much like Janice and "Just harmless sex . . . ." 

Well if it was that important to her I could accommodate her and would and, true to my word, I called Reg Westin the next morning.

Chapter 5 - Jenny:

I had mixed emotions about my conversation with Ted. Most importantly, he agreed to call the lawyer and put a halt to these divorce proceedings. I feel terrible to have hurt him so badly that he would go that far and I wanted to do what I could to make it up to him.

I never intended to have an affair. I never even came close. I just wanted to spark some jealousy in my husband and regain the close loving relationship we got into the last time he saw me with Jerry Craig. Never in a thousand years did I want to hurt or embarrass him, yet that is just what I did do.

As I wasn't really doing anything wrong with him, other than keeping it from my husband at the time and as I somehow thought I might have him see that Jerry was interested in me to conjure up more interest on his part, I really didn't try to hide the relationship except to behave with some dignity around my own staff and see Jerry away from my office and Ted's. It never occurred to me that word would get back to Ted from those other people. I knew Jerry was an SOB and I suppose I should have guessed he would do something stupid. I never thought he would lie so blatantly.

To have been watched by the FBI is so humiliating to me. 

What must Ted feel?

I wanted desperately to have him come home so we could start the process of rebuilding our relationship but he said he wasn't ready yet. As much as it pains me, I have to give him the space to do it.

The following afternoon a courier dropped off an envelope from the lawyer's office. That one positive step toward reconciliation greatly improved my mood and I felt much more confident that we would get past all this.

That mood was shattered when I opened the envelope and read the petition inside. It was identical to the original except that the reason for the petition was changed from "adultery" to "irreconcilable differences".

Ted was still proceeding with the divorce.

I don't know how long it was before I regained my senses and called Rob. He and Diane came over almost immediately.

Chapter 6 - Ted:

I had intended to have Reg change the petition. I had no intention of making Jenny out to be an adulterous slut. I just wanted to end this so I could start to recover from the pain and go on with my life and most of all, not be a wimp like my Dad.

I had taken to walking through the woods around the cabin looking to get back to things that would give me some comfort but this was turning out to be a bad idea. I found myself hurting all over again that these would not be things I would be sharing with Jenny as I originally intended.

I was getting worse, not better and I knew I needed to do something different.

On my third evening there as I sat in front of the fireplace, once again deep in thought about how nice it would have been to have Jenny here with me, I was surprised and mildly alarmed to hear a vehicle drive up to the cabin. I was at the end of a long lane, clearly marked "Private" and incidental traffic shouldn't be here.

I don't know if I was concerned or relieved when I saw Rob's SUV park in the drive behind my truck.

Given my current relationship with Jenny, Rob is now my best friend so I went out and welcomed him with a hug and an invitation to come in. At first he seemed ill at ease and I assumed it was because he loved both of us and was hurting as well but being the straight forward guy he was, once he was settled in with a beer in hand he got right to the point.

"Ted, I want to talk about you and Jenny. I want you to know that I'm hurt and embarrassed by what she did both as her brother and your friend. She hurt and embarrassed you and I don't expect you to ignore that. Having said that, I need you to know that after Diane and I spoke with her at length and after I reviewed each and every pertinent FBI surveillance report, I am convinced that not only did she not have any sort of affair with Craig, I believe she mistakenly thought she might be doing something to improve things between the two of you.

She had no idea about this cottage Ted. As you well know, she thought you had gone back to your old "all work and no play" schedule and she thought she was going to attract your attention back to the marriage. It was stupid I know and it hurt and embarrassed you.

Hell, it hurt and embarrassed me and I can only imagine what you feel, but I believe she sees how nuts all that was. She loves you Ted and she wants you to come home. I know from our time together building this place, how much you love her.

I'm urging you to come home, work with her to get past all this and let her try to make it up to you. Believe me, I care too much for you to ask you to do that if I didn't really believe it was best for you." 

I should have been better prepared for this. Janice used the same ploy. She would have her sister, or some other friend, come to Dad and convince him that it would be best to forgive and forget.

"Rob, I couldn't love you more if you were my own brother but I think you are speaking as Jenny's brother and not my friend. I'm not about to subject myself to repeated abuse of our marriage. What she has already done has hurt too much."

Over the following 50 or 60 minutes the conversation continued in this vein until Rob made his final comment before leaving for home.

What he said shook me to the core.

"Ted, you are my best friend and I, like you, couldn't love you more if you were my own brother. I have admired and respected you for quite some time. I watched you stare down a huge client, showing the guts to stand by your principles even if it meant a huge financial loss. Your courage has been a major factor in the huge success of your business . . . but . . . to see you deal the way you have with a woman who loves you unconditionally and one whom you love to the extent of risking all to make her dream come true, all over not wanting to take a chance on her possibly hurting your feelings again some time in the future, . . . well Ted I can only say that in this matter, . . . you're a wimp!"