91 comments/ 67653 views/ 26 favorites How's It Gonna Be? By: TCct Thanks for taking the time to read this. Based on some of the feedback from my previous submissions, I have included the wife's perspective here. I am not sure if I succeeded and frankly it went against the grain a little. I hope it is well received and invite any and all constructive criticism. I ignore criticism from anonymous posters unless it's positive. Author's prerogative. This story contains no sex, no cuckolds and is not a BTB story. If you're looking for any of that please look elsewhere and don't complain that you didn't find it here. There are many ways to deal with the shit life throws at you. This is merely one of those options. TCct ***** I wonder how it's going to be When you don't know me How's it going to be When you're sure I'm not there How's it going to be When there's no one there to talk to Between you and me Cause I don't care How's it going to be, How's it going to be Third Eye Blind Chris looked up from his work at the flickering lights of his workshop; a signal to him that someone was headed down his half-mile long gravel driveway. He looked back down and finished the weld he'd been making, lifted the face of his helmet and looked at the progress of his latest creation. Chris had time and he was in no hurry to greet his 'visitor'. He checked the video feed to see who they were. A light colored Lexus sedan. How did they get past the gate? He'd have to review the tape later and deal with that. Of course an electric gate is like any other lock; it will only serve to keep and honest man honest. Still... He pulled off his heavy gloves, grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat off his face and sauntered over to his bench to light a cigarette. As he took a long drag he watched the Lexus pull around the last curve over the south end of his pond and swing left onto the fork leading to the house. He perched the cigarette between his lips, turned off his equipment and grabbed the Beretta 92FS 9mm from his bench. As he exited his workshop he chambered a round and headed quietly across the lawn toward his visitor who was busy ringing the doorbell to the house. He stood behind the Lexus regarding her. He had never expected, hoped, to see her again. Ah well, he was well and truly past it now. She couldn't hurt him anymore. "Hello, Callie. What do you want?" She spun around so quickly she stumbled just a bit catching her heel in a gap between the porch boards and fell awkwardly on her ass. Chris chuckled to himself but outwardly showed no sign he was amused...or concerned. He waited. "Ah, hi Chris I..." He waited patiently. "I, well, wow it's good to see you...I" He turned and headed back to his shop, pitching his cigarette butt at her Lexus. Callie hurried after him looking on in horror as his lit cigarette just missed her open passenger window. He heard her enter his shop as he walked over to his bench, sat down and lit another cigarette. "What the fuck do you want, Callie?" ##### Chris purchased this 1200 acre piece of East Texas heaven six years ago. In point of fact, he purchased 50 acres six years ago and had been fortunate enough to be in a position to purchase larger, adjoining tracts over the years until he had accumulated his now impressive 1200 acre private retreat. He didn't need 1200 acres but it guaranteed a comfortable distance from his nearest neighbors. He had no interest in working the land and so had hired a manager to run the day-to-day operations of most of the property. Juan dealt with approximately 1100 acres raising about 400 head of cattle and all the shit that went with that. In exchange Chris split any ranch proceeds (and costs) 30/70 with Juan (Juan retained the 70%) and let him built a house for his family to live in on an opposite end of the property. They had lived in a single-wide Chris purchased for them for the first year. It was a match made in heaven. Juan had steady, honest work making good money to raise a family and Chris had his privacy and built-in family of friends whenever he felt the need for company. Juan and his family respected Chris's desire for solitude, though without really understanding it and a comfortable bond and mutual dependence blossomed. Juan fiercely defended Chris's privacy to the point that Chris might go weeks without seeing or hearing from anyone but Juan and his family. Chris always welcomed visits from Juan's boy Carlos, a precocious 5 year old of pure energy - and his mother, Maria. They often dropped by with a meal for him and stayed to visit while he ate. Maria, as Juan loved to say was 'warm in winter and shady in summer'. A big but beautiful and kind hearted woman, Maria loved her family without reservation. Juan and Chris met weekly to go over anything related to the property, shoot pool and drink; beer for Juan and scotch for Chris. Chris had never had better friends. They had met when Chris was looking for day laborers to help him to doze and burn a twenty acre plot north of his pond - he wanted to expand his pond from 6 acres to 26 acres. He had driven to a run-down hotel on Main Street where men gathered to wait for any work that might be had for a day. Chris had hired 6 guys that first day who all worked harder than anyone he'd ever seen and none more so than the young Juan. The pond expansion took three months and the one constant worker was Juan. Over those few months a sort of friendship slowly developed between the two of them. When Chris found out that Juan and Maria were living in that horrible hotel he approached them about hiring on as his property managers and the rest as they say is history. ### Callie regarded Chris sitting there with a cigarette burning between the first two fingers on his left hand. He was in great shape and looked better than ever with his longer curly hair and a well-trimmed beard. It had been so long since she'd seen him; 7 years, 8 months 3 days. She was mad as hell at him; she loved and missed him terribly. Of course it took her 2 years to realize that she still loved him and missed him in her life; 'good riddance' was her first thought but not her final thought on the subject of her estranged husband. She kicked her toe into the floor absent-mindedly. God, had she really thought his leaving had been a good thing? After the first two years, when she finally realized that she still loved him and her cold heart began to warm and ache, she had considered trying to find him but couldn't quite bring herself to expend the money and effort; after all hadn't he simply vanished without another word to her? She played the piteous victim for years; 'the poor dear, her husband just up and disappeared one day' and eventually she felt like she had a right to know where he went. "That's a new habit, Chris." She said pointing to the cigarette. Chris regarded her with a cold stare and said nothing. "I...uhm, well I had a long time to prepare for this, uh meeting but I find myself at a loss at the moment." Chris exhaled smoke through his nostrils, flicked some ashes on the floor and crossed his arms. "You look great, Chris..." "And you look like chewed twine! What the fuck do you want, Callie?" ### Chris didn't like it but her standing there caused his mind to split momentarily; one large portion was curious and ruminated on why she was standing in his shop and another part was reliving everything else. They had married young; Chris was 21 and Callie was 23 but waited 6 years before having kids. They had originally wanted 2 but God had other ideas and they accepted the fact that Katie would be their only child. They struggled through lean years as careers were developed and focused on the care and upbringing of their daughter. It wasn't a bad marriage. It was a typical marriage. The demands of career and family left little time to nurture their relationship but they did try when they were able. And while Chris knew things could have been better he wasn't in the least prepared to discover how bad things had really become. Then Callie decided it was time to talk - 7 years, 8 months 3 days ago - and she hadn't seen or heard from him since. Chris didn't go to work that day- he didn't resign - he just never went back. He took $300,000 dollars from their combined assets and disappeared. His BMW was retrieved a month later 3 counties south of their home parked in a park-n-ride lot. He wasn't hiding and he wasn't running, not really. He had just had enough and when the last straw came he simply decided to split their assets 30/70 in Callie's favor and start anew. ### "Well, I had thought that after all this time, you might owe me an explanation!" She snapped at him. She couldn't believe his attitude. This tough as a nickel-steak defiance just had her perplexed. He should be...? What she thought? What did I expect from him? Surprise yes, contrition, hopefully but anger and disdain, nope that had never occurred to her. "I don't owe you shit, Callie. We did all of our talking years ago and I wasn't interested, remember?" "I know things were rocky but they weren't that bad, Chris and certainly that is no excuse for abandoning your family!" He cocked an eyebrow at her and stubbed his cigarette out in an ashtray. "Look, I don't have the time or inclination to talk to you. Why don't you send me a letter telling me all about how I let you down and mail it to me? I might even open and read it someday." As Callie glared at Chris the lights of the shop flickered distracting her momentarily. Chris looked over at the video feed and noticed Juan's F250 ambling toward the shop. "For the record, I didn't abandon my family, I abandoned a bad wife. Katie and I still enjoy a great relationship. As a matter of fact she was here not a month ago for a week." Just as Juan was pulling up Chris strode toward Callie and gently grabbed her left elbow. He spun her around and started escorting her toward her car amidst her stunned protests. "Hey, Chris. I saw the gate broke open and thought I would come down and check on you. Everything ok?" "Hey ya Juan. Yeah, everything is good. My ex-wife here just dropped by to buy me a new gate and say hello." "WIFE!" spat Callie "we're not divorced!" That surprised Chris. He thought for sure that she'd have filed by now. True, he'd never seen or signed any paperwork but he assumed that she could divorce him without that. What did he know he'd never been divorced. She had said that she didn't want a divorce so maybe it was true. "Look Chris, we got off on the wrong foot. Can't you just give me a little of your time? I want to talk... I need to talk with you." Chris was considering his gate. Maybe, best case scenario the motor is busted and I can easily replace that; worst case? Broken motor, sheared or bent bolt and sprocket...no problem, just time and money and Chris had plenty of both. He noticed Callie barking at him. He regarded her for a moment; why was she still here and why is she barking at him? Never mind, one thing at a time. "Did you have a look at the gate, Juan? Does it look like anything is broke?" "I looked, Chris. The motor is spinning - I think we have a bent bolt is all. I can fix it for you this afternoon." Chris nodded and looked again at Callie who looked apoplectic. #### Their last conversation 7 years prior hadn't gone any better. "No." "What do you mean, 'no'? You haven't even heard me out yet." "I mean, no plain and simple. That will never happen. Not while we're still married." "Couldn't you at least listen to what I have to say, Chris?" "Okay, Callie on one condition." "And that is?" "That after you've had your say this discussion is over." "I don't think we'll be able to resolve this in a single conversation, Chris. Why are you being so unreasonable?" "I'm not being unreasonable, Callie. My position has always been the same and it isn't going to change now." "How can we fix this if you refuse to even consider new things, Chris? That's all this is...something new to try." "What exactly do you think is broken, Callie?" "Us, we're broken. Well, at least our sex life is. Come on, Chris you can't possibly be satisfied. We've been married for 24 years, together 27. We need to spice things up if we expect to make it another 25 years." "Well, I concede part of that to you, Callie. I would have liked to spice things up but you know there is a difference between using just any old spice and ensuring things are properly seasoned. And for the record, yes, I have been satisfied. I take it you can't same the same." "Haven't you ever even thought about it?" "Sure, I have. Who hasn't? It's a great fantasy but that's all it should ever be." "That's an archaic way to look at it, Chris. It's almost main stream now. Lots and lots of couples are heading in this direction. It's an open, honest and modern approach to marriage and I think an excellent way for us to maintain our relationship in the future." "So you propose what exactly, Callie -an open marriage, where we fuck other people separately or swinging where we fuck other people together? Or did you want to make me one of those sick submissive cuckold husband's; you know you fuck guys in front of me, in our bed while you both hurl insults at me and make me clean up after you? Perhaps you just have too much love to give and want a poly relationship you bring in a second husband so I can listen to you two fuck while I do the dishes? Is that what you want, Callie?" "I'm not certain what I want -maybe swinging, maybe an open marriage. I'm not trying to be a bitch. I love you and I want to make things better not worse." "How is your fucking other men going to make anything better?" "You mean, OUR having sex with other people. I expect you to be a participant." "Okay, let's say for arguments sake that my fucking other women doesn't somehow piss you off and derail our marriage. What about ME makes you think, even for a moment, that you're being a slut for other guys won't kill any love I have left for you?" "Being in an open marriage or swingers does not make a person a slut. I'll admit that I don't relish the idea of you sleeping with other women but I can't expect to sleep with other men without you sleeping with other women." "Ah, so now we have hit the nail on the head, haven't we, Callie? This isn't about us, it's about you." "That's not fair, Chris. I'm just saying that I think expanding our horizons will be good for us." "That's not what you're saying at all, Callie. You just stated that you didn't like the idea of me fucking other women but since you definitely want to fuck other men you are willing to be fair about it. How then does our marriage improve if we're both doing something the other doesn't like?" "We have to grow and change, Chris and I for one am willing. I recognize that I have some growing to do as well and I will. I want you to work with me to make our sex life more fulfilling for both of us. Is your male ego so fragile that you can't even consider this, that you're willing to risk the health of our marriage?" "I am willing to explore adding spice but I have a line I will not, cannot cross? Is our sex life so unfulfilling that you would risk our marriage by doing this, Callie?" "Damn it, Chris you're not being fair." "How am I not being fair? I have stated my position clearly. I will not fuck other women while we are married and I will not stay married to you if you fuck other men. That is as plain and fair as I can make it." "So that's it? You decide how our marriage will be moving forward and I have no say in it? I thought you were a stronger man than that, Chris." "No, we decided TOGETHER how our marriage was going to be 24 years ago and now you want to renegotiate the terms. Let me ask you, Callie. What is it specifically about me that you don't find attractive anymore? Why do you need to fuck someone else so badly that you have risked our marriage by broaching the subject?" "I have not done anything to put our marriage at risk and I still find you very attractive, Chris. I just think a little variety would make us appreciate what we have in each other." "Oh but you have, Callie. You have told me that you find sex with me unfulfilling and that you want to fuck other men and since you're a fair minded person you'll look the other way if I decide to fuck other women. Just saying those things has put our marriage in danger. I am far less attracted to you now than I was 20 minutes ago and not at all certain that our marriage has any future." "That's a horrible thing to say, Chris! You're twisting my words and making more of this than you ought to." "Alright, Callie. Can I ask you a few questions...just yes or no answers, no embellishments, no arguments?" "Chris, I love you and I want to be married to you but every marriage, even the best marriages need to keep things fresh. We have to put in an effort!" "Callie, are you unhappy?" "No but I want more from our relationship!" "How the hell do you get more from our relationship by having another relationship...oh Fuck-it! Never mind! God-dammit, Callie!" "What? Just because I'm honest and want to try something different you get pissed? Grow up, Chris! God you can be such a little boy!" "You aren't satisfied by having sex with me and want to fuck other men. I hear you, Callie...loud and clear!" "Chris, you aren't listening. EVERY marriage gets stale. Just because I think a little variety is in order doesn't mean I am not satisfied with you when we make love. I'll just appreciate it more if I have something else to compare it to." "I have already said no Callie. What will you do now?" "Chris, we need this!" "No, Callie WE don't. Perhaps YOU do but WE certainly do not. I'll ask again, what will you do now?" "I don't know, Chris. I love you but this...we have to change." "Or?" "Please, don't push me, Chris. I thought you'd at least agree to discuss this." "Callie, we did discuss it. My answer is no. It will always be no. The question now is can YOU move past this and can we save our marriage? Is there no other way for you to feel fulfilled? For us to have a future? I'm not even sure I want one anymore. I mean, I'll never feel like your satisfied and who wants to go through life knowing they don't turn on their spouse?" "Chris you have always satisfied me..." "Just not enough that you wouldn't want to fuck someone else though. I get it Callie, I really do. You're not always a completely satisfying sex partner either you know and I often look at other women and wonder what it would be like to sleep with them. The difference is that I know that we can't always bring our A game and so when you do fall short in the bedroom, I don't hold it against you and decide that the only way to fix it is to fuck someone else. And I don't pretend that my fucking Debbie-Double-D will miraculously make sex with you any better and I know it certainly won't make me feel any closer to you. It will make me feel closer to Debbie though, that's a fact. And that's what you're asking me to do, Callie. You're asking for my permission to destroy our marriage." They stared at one another for several minutes, each lost in their own thoughts until Chris suddenly sat bolt upright. "Have you already fucked him?" "What? Who? What are you talking about, Chris?" "Callie, I know you. You already have someone lined up. So have you fucked him yet?" "Don't be stupid, Chris. I just thought you'd be interested in trying to make our marriage better. I'm sorry I thought you were a better man than you are!" "There is no need to insult me any more than you already have! I know you have someone you want to fuck otherwise you wouldn't be pressing me so hard so quickly. Remember I have been arguing with you for 27 years now. Why don't you try an honest approach for a change, you know try being a better person! Well? Have you spread your legs for him yet?" How's It Gonna Be? Pt. 02 Against my natural inclination... but as a thank you to those that took the time to not only read my last story but to constructively criticize my efforts. To you - I thank you and I hope this is some small measure answers your questions, fulfills a need for a more complete story or corrects some of my failings in Chapter One. If not, I'll happily refund your money! ### * Chris, Juan and Maria * Chris was not surprised by the sudden appearance of Juan and Maria but wondered about the absence of their son. "Hello Chris. The gate is fixed and Maria made us some Gorditas. We thought maybe you'd want to eat and talk." "Gracias, Maria! Where's my favorite 5 year old?" "De nada Chris. Carlos is staying with a friend tonight. He is so excited; they have a horse." "Well, maybe we should get him a horse of his own. What do you think Juan?" "I think you like to make trouble for me Chris!" Chris laughed loudly as the three made their way back to the kitchen. Somehow when Maria was there they always made their way to the kitchen. Maria got busy preparing their meal as Chris handed a beer to Juan and left the room to pour himself a scotch. He knew what was coming and thought he'd benefit from a drink. "What did you have to do to fix the gate Juan?" Juan laughed "Straighten a bolt! You got lucky, Chris." "Yeah, lucky." Muttered Chris Maria looked over at Chris, then at Juan. "Juan tells me you had a visitor today. Is it true, the infamous Callie came by?" "Unfortunately it's true. I can't tell you why she bothered but she did and your poor husband had to clean up after her." Maria chuckled and then seeing his expression expertly changed the subject while they busied themselves with the business of eating. When they finished eating she shepherded the men out of the kitchen while she cleaned up. "Why don't you two go into the family room while I cleanup. Juan could you please pour me a glass of wine, I'll be in shortly?" "She's going to interrogate me isn't she?" "Si Jefe" "Cut that shit out Juan. You're English is better than mine!" "Si Jefe." Chris poured himself another scotch while Juan poured a glass of White Zinfandel for Maria. "You gonna have to talk Jefe. Maybe you run now, Si?" "I maybe coulda done that before I ate her Gorditas, Jaun!" They both laughed. Chris never tired of Juan's sense of humor; it was always tuned perfectly to his mood. Juan was a perceptive and intelligent friend and despite the significant age difference they had much in common. Chris counted them both as better than friends and would allow them liberties he wouldn't tolerate in anyone else. They never took advantage but sometimes tested the boundaries of those liberties. Chris had always ultimately benefited from that and had complete faith that if Maria was going to push him now it would serve him well to let her. Intellectually he understood that; emotionally? Well that was another matter altogether. "Chris. We're going to talk now so that is your last drink for a while." Maria ordered entering the family room just as Juan handed her a glass of wine in a move that seemed choreographed but Chris knew was nothing more than a couple deeply in love and in sync with one another. "Si Jefa!" Chris droned as they all smiled, each for their own reasons. "Chris, we have talked very little about your marriage and how it ended. We have not asked you too many questions since it didn't seem like you were comfortable talking about it and it seemed like it was not our business. But I can see you are upset and Juan told me about what happened with Callie today and... well we want to help you." "Maria...Juan...I love you both and I appreciate your concern but I am fine. I will be fine, really." "Niño tonto - Juan slap him for me!" which Juan did even as Maria was ordering it. "Chris, this is overdue. She came today, she may come again tomorrow or next month or next year. You looked like a ghost today when Callie was here. Let us help. Maybe if you talked about it you would feel better." "Exactly!" beamed Maria. "Chris, have you ever spoken to anyone about this? " Chris sighed, resigned to the inevitable, painful kindness of his friends. "No. Not even Callie." "Bueno, mi amigo vamos a hablar." Juan laughed with an affected Spanish accent, twisting a handlebar mustache he did not have.. "No hablo español" Chris smirked in his best gringo drawl. "Ah, you take all of the fun out of it, Chris!" laughed Juan. "Chris? mi tío más querido. Now is the time." "Uncle Chris is it? Alright, Maria." Chris drained his tumbler and began telling his story to his family. * Callie and Kate * "You did what?!" Katie barked over the phone. "I'm sorry, Katie. I had to." "No you didn't, Mom. Why you two never divorced I'll never know but I do know that he couldn't have been happy to see you." "Well, maybe but he seemed more upset about his broken gate than seeing me. Doesn't that mean it may be a good time for us to...I don't know - clear the air?" "It means not only did you break his heart you also broke his gate!" "Broke his heart? All I tried to do was fix a stale marriage. Can I help it if his stupid male ego got in the way." "That's not how he sees it, Mom. What does it matter anyway? That was years ago. He's moved on, he's happy - why do you have to go and upset him all over again?" "We never talked about it, Katie. He just left. He took what he could cash in quickly and left." "Well you didn't seem to care at the time, Mom. Why do you care now all of a sudden?" Callie paused. This was the question wasn't it? Why now? Why after all of these years did she feel the need to see, to speak to her husband? Closure perhaps...ugh what a tired phrase. She didn't buy that for a second. What then? She'd asked herself that countless times and it always came back to the same thing. "I still love him, Katie!" * Chris, Juan and Maria * "I don't understand that part, Chris. So she came to you and told you she wanted to talk about an open marriage. So what...it was just talk right?" Maria looked right at Juan then "talking is ok, it's harmless. Juan talks all the time. Sometimes I listen." "Well, maybe if that was all that it was, Maria. Maybe if I had been the first and only person she had spoken to about it but I wasn't, was I? I'm going to pour myself another drink now Maria ok?" She nodded considering things. "Maria, say Juan came to you to discuss this very issue He wanted to have an open marriage, maybe become swingers. How would you react?" "I would slap him hard, tell him 'NO' and make him sleep in the barn for a week. Then I would make him beg me for forgiveness but I would not leave him, Chris." "Maybe not, Maria. Now what if he had spoken to you about it only after he had found a woman he wanted to sleep with and had spoken with her about it? How do you feel now?" Maria thought for a moment before her eyes began blazing - she appeared to change before their eyes; from a loving, concerned friend and wife to a fire breathing murderess. "Dios mío! I think I understand now." "Yes, Maria. Callie didn't just open an honest dialogue with me about the state of our marriage did she." "No, she spent weeks maybe months lying to you, cheating on you!" "qué?" asked Juan, not really following this. "Juan, she had to have seduced or been seduced by this man. It would take weeks or months for her to feel comfortable enough with this man to discuss her stale sex life and how to approach her husband about an open marriage because she didn't want to cheat. The seduction takes time and she hid all of that from Chris, lied to Chris and complained to this man about Chris and their sex life together. That is unforgivable and then she talks to Chris only after she has agreed to have sex with this man if her husband agrees. Yes Chris?" "Yes, Maria. In my eyes she had already abandoned me. She spent a long time getting to know this man, and entertaining her attraction for him behind my back. It's okay to be attracted to other people. That is only natural. I was. But I never had a secret, intimate lunch with another woman I found attractive. I never nurtured an intimate relationship and lied to my wife about it. I would never have complained about my sex life to anyone but my wife and I certainly would never have discussed a solution to a marital problem with anyone but my wife first. Especially with someone I wanted to sleep with and who had expressed an interest in sleeping with me. Callie was no slut. All of this would have taken months. Months, where she lied to me, developed an intimate relationship with another man, confided in that man and conspired with him to get me to accept her having an affair." Chris sighed "It was just too much!" "And you figured that all out in the space of that conversation with her?" asked Juan impressed. "No" chuckled Chris "Well most of it. When I left that day, I knew she had ambushed me, had cheated on me, at least emotionally, and I was heartbroken and furious at the same time. But when I left the house that day I hadn't left for good...yet. I took a room in a hotel and sat and thought about everything. It was several hours later when I fully realized what was happening; how long this had to have been going on and the depth of her betrayal. It was then that I decided I'd had enough. She wasn't honest about wanting to spice up our marriage. If she had wanted to do that we could have discussed it and tried any number of things without involving others." "She never told you she was bored, Chris?" "No, Maria. Oh, I suppose I should have guessed but we'd both spent years building careers and raising Katie. Our sex life never really was a burning priority. It should have been, I know. But it wasn't." "But if she hadn't had sex with him yet why didn't you try to talk with her. Win her back?" "Maria, you are sweet and I love you. Do you think...uh, could you love and respect Juan the way you do now and do what Callie did to me?" "I could never...Oh, yes I see. No, I couldn't. It was already too late. But Chris she said today she still loves you. Why not talk to her now?" * Callie and Kate * Katie laughed. "Mom you can't love someone and treat them the way you treated Dad." "I was honest with your Father!" "After all these years you are still lying to yourself Mom. What you did was only honest to the extent that you spoke to Dad before you had sex with Dan but not before you had cheated on Dad." "I didn't cheat on your Dad with Dan!" "What do you call it then Mom? What you did? If the tables were turned would you be calling Dad honest?" "It was wrong, yes but it wasn't bad enough to end our marriage." "But Mom, it didn't end it. You're still married!" Katie laughed. "Katie! God, you're as bad as your Father. I should have known he'd make me out to be the bad guy! " "Mom, Dad has never spoken to me about what happened. I know what I know based on what you told me. I think badly of you because of what you did not what he said you did. You told me you met this guy Dan at work. That he flirted with you for weeks before you started to flirt back. That you shared lunches and dinners and went to a couple of shows together. That you were attracted to him and that he seduced you. Does that about cover it?" "Well, yes but..." "Mom, what about that sounds like you were being faithful to Dad? Did you tell Dan to go fuck himself like a good wife should have? Did you tell Dad that some douchebag at work was flirting with you and trying to seduce you? Did you tell Dad about all the lunches you shared with Dan? The dinners? Did you have dinner with Dan or go to shows with Dan with Dad's permission or did you lie to him about where you were and who you were with?" "Katie, I made a lot of mistakes but..." "Let's talk about something else for a minute Mom. Let's forget about how badly you treated Dad, how you cheated on him. Why now? When he left, you were happy to be rid of him. Sure you were pissed that he'd left, that he never gave you the chance to argue more about you slutting around..." "Katrhyn!" "Whatever, Mom. You were happy when he left. When they found his car and you found out he had taken the money and disappeared you couldn't wait to get into Dan's bed. That's all you thought about admit it!" "I was mad, Katie but I DID NOT slut around. Your Father acted like a child and abandoned me. Why should I stop living because he couldn't act like an adult?" "Tell yourself whatever you like Mom but the truth is you didn't care that he was gone. You got on with the business of spreading your legs just like you wanted. You got what you wanted, Dan got what he wanted. The only one who didn't was Dad. He did get screwed though that's for sure!" "I don't know why I bothered calling you, Kate!" "Me either Mom. Leave Dad alone! If you want closure, file for divorce but leave the poor man alone!" * Chris, Juan and Maria * "Why should I talk to her, Maria? We have nothing left to discuss. Maybe she loves me but I don't love her the way I used to and I don't want to be loved by her. I don't trust her and she and I clearly want different things from marriage." "But Chris, you are still married. Why haven't you divorced her? Wouldn't that have been better?" "Maybe Juan. I don't know. I don't hate her. I mean, I used to tell myself I did but honestly I just don't think about her at all anymore. I suppose I could have divorced her and taken as much as I could get my hands on but... I didn't want that. I just wanted to leave. Money didn't seem important, my career didn't seem important. I just wanted to go away, to forget and move forward...on my terms. Who cares about a divorce if you don't plan to re-marry? Besides I always thought she would file." "And now, Tio? What will you do now? She's here; back in your life. What now. Will you run away again. Run away from us?" Maria was fighting back tears. "Maria, I have never run away from the people I love; just the people who have hurt me. I am not running away." "Talk to her then Jefe. Tell her goodbye before she wrecks your gate again." * Callie and Kate * "Katie, please. I do love your Father. Yes, I made mistakes. Yes, it took me a long time to accept that I missed him, that I still love him and it took even longer to get the courage to admit that I want him back. Why now? Because now I am trying to be honest. I love him; I'll always love him and I want to try again. I hate my life without him - it took me a long time to figure that out but I have now. Maybe it is too late but if I don't try...please Katie, will you help me?" "Help you hurt him again? No, Mom I won't do that!" "Katie, he never filed for divorce. Maybe he still loves me. Maybe we can fix this. I have to at least try! I have to!" "I'll talk to him, Mom but I am not promising anything. I won't badger him for you and God help you if you hurt him again!" "Thank you Katie. I love you." "I love you too Mom you stupid bitch!" * Chris and Katie * "No, of course I don't blame you Katie! I wasn't exactly hiding; she could have found me anytime she wanted. I just never thought she'd want to - especially now after so many years!" "Well, I just didn't want you to think I was taking her side. I'm not and it's especially important you know that before I say what I have to say." "That sounds ominous. What's up, sweetie?" There was a pregnant pause. Not perhaps something most people would be concerned about but Katie wasn't one to hesitate or pull punches. She called a spade a spade and never shied away from doing so. It was something Chris was fiercely proud of. Katie had a strong mind and a keen sense of herself. She was confident, intelligent and independent. Exactly as he, as her Father, hoped. "She asked me to help her, Dad." "Help her with what, Katie?" "She really wants to talk with you. Really talk, I mean." Chris sighed. "What does she think needs to be said at this point? Seriously, I'm not trying to be an ass; it just seems so pointless. What the fuck does she want?" "She says she loves you; that she misses you and wants to try to repair things or at least clear the air." "Well that seems consistent anyway. It's still all about what she wants. I don't want to see her or speak with her Katie. When does what I want come into play here?" "I know Dad. Maybe if you give her this you'll finally be able to end it. A lot has been left open-ended. You guys never really talked about it, you didn't divorce her. Hell you never even told her to 'Fuck off'!" Chris thought for a moment. As the seconds ticked away, Katie started to worry that she had jeopardized her relationship with her Dad. "Dad?" "DAD?" " I don't know, Katie. I can't see any good coming from this. I am happy...well was happy till recently. What's in it for me?" "I don't know Dad; maybe nothing, maybe heartache, maybe happiness. I did tell her only God could save her if she hurt you again. I love you Dad. I think it's a chance for you to close this book and put it away. I know you say you've been happy but this has to have been bothering you on some level. You know not having an honest discussion, a divorce, a flogging...something. I don't expect or want you to get back together with her and truthfully, I only agreed to speak with you about it because I think YOU need this. I love her but I don't really care what she wants." Chris chuckled despite himself. "Maybe you're right and truly she can't hurt me anymore, Katie. I'd have to lover her for her to be able to do that and I don't." Another agonizingly long pause. "Okay, Katie. Tell your Mother I will be at the Lunchbox at two PM tomorrow. I'll give her 20 minutes and then I expect her to leave me alone. That's important, Katie. I will only meet with her this one time. She needs to promise she'll leave me alone after tomorrow." "Thank you Dad. I'll make sure she promises that before I tell her where and when. And Dad? Good luck. I love you." I love you too, Katie!" * Chris and Callie * "Hello Chris." "Callie." "May I sit down?" "Oh for fuck sake woman, you wanted to talk, I agreed and here we are. Sit your fat ass down; the clock is tickin'!" Callie sucked in her breath. Her hopes for this meeting had been high. When Katie told her Chris had agreed to meet with her she was very encouraged. They would finally talk. It appeared now though that she had been prematurely optimistic. "I'm sorry, Chris. I'm a little nervous. Have you ordered?" "Callie, we're not on a date here. I have a coffee if you want one go stand in line - they don't have table service but I will be gone in 19 minutes. Your choice." "Really Chris this conversation is long overdue are you seriously going to limit our discussion to 20 minutes?" "No, there is less than 19 minutes left now, Callie. Did you want to spend them arguing with me about that instead?" Callie tried to calm herself. This was not going as she had imagined, hoped. She wiped her tear away absently and reached across the table to take his hand. "Chris, I... I made some mistakes; we made some mistakes. I want to...we were good together Chris. We had a good life. Surely you miss that, miss Dallas, being married, me!" she was almost pleading. Chris looked down at her hand covering his and gently, slowly extricated it and picked up his coffee. As he took a sip it occurred to him that he was surprised that he felt nothing at all when she touched him. He didn't want it but he didn't hate it either. He smiled. He felt better. Maybe Katie, Juan and Maria had been right. Maybe this would be good for him. He had often told himself how much he hated Callie after she cheated on him and then later told himself that he just didn't care but he hadn't really believed that until just now. When she touched his hand he felt neither longing nor revulsion, kinship nor hatred. He felt a perspiring hand; nothing more, nothing less. How's It Gonna Be? Pt. 02 Callie, seeing his smile, smiled back at him. "I have a good life now Callie, I am a fit and attractive, reasonably successful man with a full head of hair and all of my own teeth living in East Texas. I get laid when I want to!" He chuckled. "I have good, loyal friends, a great relationship with my daughter and no regrets whatsoever. I don't miss Dallas, I used to miss the marriage I thought we had, the wife I thought I had but then I realized they were a lie. I realized I wasn't the husband you thought you had either. So, no, I have no desire to waste time crying over what might have been." "That was no lie, Chris. We loved each other. We had a strong marriage which makes what you did all the more tragic." The smile on Chris's face disappeared instantly. "What I did, Callie?" "You just left, Chris. We should have talked more. We could have worked something out if you had stayed and just listened to reason." "After all this time you still think I am the one to blame for this?" Chris stood to leave "I think we've said everything that needs saying, Callie." "CHRIS, NO! Please just listen to me! I love you and I want to... Chris waved his hand dismissively. "Callie, you don't love me. At least not the way you think you do. You don't know me now, I am a different man. You saw to that. No, maybe your life isn't going as well as you hoped but I am not the answer; we are not the answer. Besides I don't love you anymore either. I love the girl I married, I'll always love that memory, but we drifted apart and grew to be different people with different goals and dreams. Sometimes marriages thrive on that and sometimes they merely survive it. Ours didn't." "What did I do that was so bad, Chris...please?!" "Callie if you haven't figured it out by now then we really are done. You abused me, my trust and rendered me powerless to the direction of my own marriage without my knowledge or consent. You took my half of that power and gave it to Dan along with the promise of your pussy. I was far from a perfect husband and I'm certain I could have handled your betrayal better than I did but I did what I thought was best for me. I didn't punish you; I took what I could quickly get and left you to your dreams." Callie was quietly crying now. "Move on...permanently, Callie. If you don't file than I will. Maybe I should have done that 8 years ago. I dunno...I didn't, you didn't and maybe it doesn't matter. I'm sorry but I am better off without you and I always will be." Chris leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry we let things get as bad as they did Callie. I loved you once and I feel bad I let you down; that we let each other down but you never gave me or us the chance to fix that and THAT I won't and can't forget." He looked at her kindly one last time and then left. He left feeling lighter than when he entered. He wasn't happy about Callie's pain just relieved at the absence of his own. How's It Gonna Be? "I...No. Shit! I'm sorry, Chris. He and I have discussed it but I told him I wouldn't cheat on you; that I would speak with you about it and try to get you to agree." "So, you've been talking to another guy about how I just don't do it for you anymore and how much you want to fuck him instead of me and then because you're so fucking honest you decide to ambush me with some bullshit story about expanding our horizons and being open minded enough to save our stale marriage. Well, that kind of honesty I can do without." "Chris, I'm sorry about the way I handled it. I feel horrible but I stand by what I said. This could be good for us. Just give it a chance." "No, Callie. You might as well have already fucked him. You've done the same amount of damage. I could never feel like I trust you or completely satisfy you either and honestly, I don't want you to be unsatisfied. I mean how long before you decide that what I don't know won't hurt me? After all you've convinced yourself that it will only benefit our marriage so even if I said no and you decided to stay, eventually you would fuck him or someone else that meets your fancy." Chris got up from the table and glared at his wife. "Can you at least wait until we're separated before fucking him? I won't expect you to wait till the divorce is final but at least until one of us is moved out and we've agreed on the terms of the divorce." "Chris, I don't want a divorce. I really want us to be better." "I'm sorry, Callie but I'm not wired to share and why would you want to stay in a stale marriage to someone you find only marginally attractive?" And then he left - 7 years, 8 months 3 days ago. #### "Chris, can you just forget about your fucking gate and talk to me!?" Chris gazed at her; confused. He gave her what she wanted all those years ago. She didn't want a divorce so he didn't file. She wanted to fuck other guys so he let her. Fuck, what an annoying bitch! "Callie, we've already said everything that needs to be said. I've moved on. You wanted to fuck other men and I assume you have. You said you would tolerate me fucking other women so I have. You didn't want a divorce so I didn't file. What do you fucking want now!?" "YOU! I want you, you asshole!" "You had me you cunt and you threw me away." "Oh, sorry, Callie this is Juan. Juan, this crying bitch is my wife Callie. Who was just leaving." "Callie, go home. Go home and leave me alone. I don't want you. I don't love you. Hell, I don't even know or like you. For what it's worth, I do hope you find love again and I pray you get as good as you gave." I wonder how it's going to be When you don't know me How's it going to be When you're sure I'm not there How's it going to be When there's no one there to talk to Between you and me Cause I don't care How's it going to be, How's it going to be