125 comments/ 115619 views/ 45 favorites How Much Love? By: StangStar06 "God Damn it Cheryl, you've been working with us for four months now," said Connie. "This is the first time we've ever gotten you to come out with us. So don't start trying to leave before you've had at least one drink." "And at least a dance or two," piped in Nancy. "There will be a lot of guys here on a Friday night. And you're a good looking woman. You won't have any trouble finding one." "One drink and then I'm out of here," said Cheryl. "No dances and no men." "Cheryl, not that it matters," said Helen. "But, are you a lesbian?" "Of course not," said Cheryl. Her new work mates couldn't seem to figure her out. Only Connie knew the truth about Cheryl's life before she came to work for the XYZ Company. Cheryl was an attractive brunette who stood about 5' 4" inches tall. She had nice but not spectacular breasts, a tiny waist and a nice but not spectacular ass. Her green eyes and her legs were her best features. Connie on the other hand, was blond and shorter at 5' even. She had huge breasts and a well rounded rear end. She was maybe 10 or fifteen pounds over-weight but it was all in the right places and men loved her. Nancy, the youngest of the four at 30, was also the tallest but the least curvy with A-cup breasts and slim boyish hips. Helen at 44 was the oldest but also the only one of the four who was married and had kids. Cheryl had been married for over fifteen years, but sadly her marriage had ended only 11 months earlier. She still stung from the separation which accounted for her nun-like existence. "If you're not a lesbian then why don't you want to meet a nice man?" asked Nancy. "Because I already met one and fucked it up," snapped Cheryl icily. "Besides, no one is going to meet a nice guy in a meat market like this. All you're going to meet are pussy hounds and one night stands. No thanks." Except for Connie the other women were shocked at Cheryl's words. They looked at her as if they expected her to tell them her story. But she was silent. She looked around the room as if she was trying to spot the exit but her eyes locked onto a guy at a table across the room. Nancy and Connie followed her eyes and her shocked expression to the table she stared at. Cheryl had completely forgotten about her friends as she stared at the other table. The words of a song from when she was younger came to mind. "You're in the corner, turning your back. You're running away again." The song was the first line from a song by Vixen, called "How much love." It reminded Cheryl of the way her marriage was going. Connie who came to this bar often waved at a couple of the guys at the table and they waved back. One of the guys got up and came over to their table. Connie noticed that Cheryl was standing now and tentatively walking towards the table the guy had just left. There was a guy that Connie had never seen before at the table. He had dark hair. He was slim yet still muscular. He turned his face away from them as if he was hiding something. He very smoothly got up and walked away from the table. He headed towards the bathrooms along the wall near the door. A couple of guys asked Cheryl to dance as she tried to get to the man who'd left the other table. They barely slowed her down. One guy actually grabbed her arm and tried to pull her onto the dance floor until she screamed at him to let go of her. Connie quickly ran to her friend's side. Roger, the guy who was coming over to talk to Connie joined them. "Cheryl, what's wrong?" asked Connie. Cheryl ignored her friend and spoke to Roger. "That guy at your table, the one who went into the bathroom. Is he your friend? Where do you know him from?" she asked. "He was kind of a cutie, Hon but he may be married or something," said Connie. "Don't get hooked on some guy before you even get to meet him. He may not be your type or you may not be his. Like you said before, not too many people are coming into this place to meet their soul mates." Cheryl ignored Connie again. "His name is Rob Thomas, isn't it?" Roger nodded. "He's been working with us for about 2 months now. He's a hard worker and a great guy. But he lives like a fucking monk. A bunch of the girls at work hit on him all the time, but apparently he's already in love. This is the first time we've been able to get him to come out with us. But something spooked him. He's gone back to her and they're gone, did you hear that?" "I spooked him," said Cheryl. As she spoke a tear rolled down her cheek. Connie looked at her friend and her heart went out to her. "Honey, I don't think you spooked him. You're probably just not his type. The cute guys who know they're cute always think they can pick and choose the women they want. Maybe he likes blonds." "So what's his girlfriend like?" asked Cheryl. "Well she's black and kind of wide," smirked Roger. Connie shrugged her shoulders. Nothing shocked her. "They've all got their types honey, just like we do," she said. "She's also got four chrome wheels, a supercharged V8 Engine and a running pony on her grill," said Roger. Cheryl looked at Roger in surprise. "What?" she asked. "As far as I can tell Rob doesn't date. He loves his car. The only woman I've ever heard him mention is his mother. That sound a few seconds ago outside, was the sound of that Mustang of his hitting the highway and leaving me stranded here. I'll have to get a ride from one of the other guys if I don't hook up tonight." He winked at Connie. "Uhm I think I'm going to be kind of busy talking a friend down off the ledge," said Connie. "Give me a rain check though." Connie drove Cheryl back to her house. She looked around and noticed more than a few photos of Cheryl and Rob together. The one that surprised her the most was a large framed wedding picture. In the picture Cheryl looked ecstatically happy. It looked as if she was marrying the man of her dreams and happy beyond reasoning. Rob, although younger, looked very happy too. Connie wondered what had happened to turn Cheryl into the depressed and seemingly dying woman that Connie knew. Another thing that bothered Connie was Rob himself. He seemed to be almost afraid of the woman he used to be married to. A woman who at one time he'd promised to love and cherish for the rest of his life. She needed to know more about this situation and not just because of her friendship with Cheryl. That first time she'd seen Rob across the floor before he'd snuck out of the bar through the back door, time had stood still for her. Cheryl emerged from the bathroom in a long flannel dressing gown. She'd removed her makeup but her face was still very red and her eyes were puffy, from crying. There were still tears gently rolling down her face as she sat down on her couch and drew her knees up under her. Connie moved over to the sofa beside her friend. "Why don't you tell me about it Hon," she said. "Sometimes it feels better to get it out. And I can't help you get your revenge on him if I don't know what he did to you." Cheryl sat up for a second and looked at Connie as if she was an idiot. "I don't want revenge, Connie. I'm the one who messed up. What I want is my husband back." "But aren't you divorced?" asked Connie. "Didn't you have your chance in court to say no?" "I would move heaven and earth," said Cheryl. "I'd sell my soul for another chance. All he has to do is marry me again. But he doesn't even have to do that. I'd be happy just being his girlfriend or his booty call." Connie looked at Cheryl strangely. Cheryl was not the type of woman to use a phrase like that. "Don't look at me like I'm crazy," snapped Cheryl. "Rob is not the booty call type. If he started something with me, even something like that it would end up being much more. I just need a way to get back into his life. And even if it was only sex, I'd take that in a heartbeat." "He's my soul mate. We're meant to be together," she said heatedly. "Every second that we're apart hurts me." Connie looked at Cheryl again. In the last few months that she'd known Cheryl this was the first time that she'd seen passion about anything coming from her friend. Seeing Cheryl there on the couch with no makeup on made the woman seem older yet more innocent and vulnerable at the same time. She knew that Cheryl was approaching forty but the pain and emotions running through her made her seem older. "Rob and I got married when we were 22," began Cheryl. "We met in college and got married soon after we graduated. I was from a small farming town in Iowa and Rob was from New York. Our families and upbringing couldn't have been more different, but when we met something just clicked and that was it. It happened at a party for one of the stupid tree hugging charities that are on every college campus. We were both there with other people, but it didn't matter. Within 2 minutes of us meeting, the connection between us was palpable. It was like there was electricity passing between us. Our eyes locked on each other and we simply ignored everyone around us. After a while it was embarrassing. My date started making angry gestures like he wanted to start a fight with Rob or something. Finally Rob's date saved us from the awkwardness of the situation by asking him to take her home. "I'm really interested in this organization," Rob said smiling at me while he spoke to his date. "Maybe I'll take you home and come right back." "Perhaps that would be best," the girl said. "Though I doubt that you'll be alone here for long." "Could you take me home too?" I asked my date. He looked at me as if I was dog shit on his shoe. "Fuck you," he snapped. "I'm not stupid. So there's no need to play any fucking games. Why should I waste the gas dragging your sorry, whorish ass back to your dorm, just so you can come back here and fuck some other guy?" He sneered at me. "Good riddance." Then he just walked away and left me standing there. Dating Rob was a different experience from all of the other guys I'd dated. Actually I hadn't dated that much, but I quickly realized that it was different. For one thing that awkward "getting to know you" period didn't exist. From the very first moment that he came back to the party, he knew that I'd be there waiting for him. As a matter of fact before he even finally introduced himself to me and we found out each other's names, we knew that this was different. For one thing, from our very first date it just felt like we were already married. There was no doubt that there wouldn't be any other dating around. No awkward questions about whether or not we'd become exclusive. We both felt it immediately. There was no more "I want to do this with my life. Or after I graduate I'm going to..." The rest of our lives would be spent not as "I" but as "we." We told each other everything that we'd gone through up to that point. Our hopes, our dreams and what we'd previously done. None of it mattered anymore. We'd bend our separate futures to fit the new blended existence. Our past relationships were as different as our backgrounds. Rob had of course at 22 a bit of experience with the opposite sex. I on the other hand had only recently started dating and was determined to be a virgin on my wedding night. My grandmother had, and my mother had as well and I was determined to continue the family tradition. I expected Rob to freak out a bit about that at first. I was even prepared to bend a bit in my adamant insistence on being a virgin until my wedding night. But Rob told me that if that was what I wanted, it was fine with him as long as he got to be the man I married. "But don't you need regular sex?" I asked him. He just smiled at me and told me that the feeling he was getting just from standing next to me and holding my hand was way better than sex. Like you always hear, that started the pattern for our lives. I loved Rob with all of my heart and soul. And he loved me even more than that. It was like he gave me everything he had and then went out and borrowed more and gave me that too. My entire life changed after that. Even though we were both adults and about to graduate when we met, I quickly started seeing myself as Rob's. The few guys I had dated found out that I was in a relationship and wanted to know more about it. One guy asked me if now that somebody had "cracked me," if there was a chance that he could "get some" too. "Get some what?" I asked. "Get some pussy?" he smiled. "I don't think that will happen," I told him. "Besides you're asking the wrong person. "You'd have to talk to Rob." That was the way we saw everything. My lips were where Rob's mouth and his kisses went. My breasts were for Rob to play with. My pussy was where Rob's dick would go after we were married. My ass was where Rob rested his hands when we danced. My womb was where Rob's children would be someday. And most importantly my heart was where all of Rob's love went. Life right after college was different. I guess in my mind up until I met Rob, I'd always expected to return home and possibly find a job in one of the bigger cities around the small town where I'd grown up. In the last weeks before we graduated I'd started thinking how difficult it would be for me to leave him and go home. I was all knotted up inside. I think I realized then that what we'd been talking about, all the words of love were real. I could no sooner walk away from him indefinitely, than I could walk away and leave my head on the table. It simply wasn't possible. He was a part of me. I wondered why he wasn't as knotted and conflicted as I was. I stupidly listened to one of my classmates who told me that men were simply different from women. They weren't as emotional. She told me that where I was emotionally bonded to Rob, men bonded through sex and since we hadn't done it yet. Our bond wasn't affecting Rob as greatly as it did me. It seemed logical, much in the same way men could have one night stands and just walk away and never call a girl. The girls were often devastated and spent weeks wondering what was wrong with them. I decided to confront Rob and let him know how I felt. I also wanted to know why he wasn't as bothered as I was about our impending separation. I got myself all worked up over it. I started to think that maybe Rob was getting tired of me and wanted some girl that he could just fuck without having to wait until he married her. In retrospect, if I'd remembered the lesson I learned back then, I'd still be with Rob now. I can still remember him lying on his couch studying as I barged into his dorm. "Rob, maybe you don't love me as much as you claim," I yelled. "I'm all busted up and crying about us not being together after graduation next week and here you are calmly studying as if nothing mattered. Can't you see that my life will be awful without you, even if it's only for a short time? Rob I love you. I don't want us to be apart, ever." He just looked up at me as if I was the village idiot. "Cher, we're not going to be apart for any amount of time." he said calmly. "Whuh?" I said sitting down next to him on the couch. "I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out whether I should simply follow you to Iowa or you should come home to New York with me," he said. "I looked at the biggest thing each has going for it, and the greatest potential benefit to us and possible our kids." My eyes got even bigger. "Iowa has that small town charm and the better atmosphere for families," he said. "But the employment possibilities in both of our fields suck. New York on the other hand has all of the career potential that you'd expect in a major city, but I wouldn't want to raise a puppy there let alone our kids. So I decided that the best possible thing for us is to just get an apartment here, move in together and start looking for jobs. As soon as we have some income, we can get married and..." He never got to finish his sentence. My brain finally started to understand what he'd been saying and I just grabbed him and started kissing him. I literally tried to kiss him to death. I wouldn't even let him breathe. He tried to show me the apartments he'd made appointments to see but nothing he could do got me to let go of him. My nipples were so hard and I was so wet that if he'd been even a smidgeon less mindful of my wanting to get married a virgin, I wouldn't have made it. I'd have fucked him right then and there on that couch in the dorm, with the door wide open and not cared who saw us. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?" I finally asked him. "I didn't think it merited any consideration," he said. "We've both known since the very first second that we met, that we were never going to be apart, right?" "I guess sometimes, I just need to be reminded of that," I told him, trying to hide my tears. Our first apartment sucked. It was colder than Alaska in the winter and hotter than Hell in the summer. There were all kinds of bizarre noises from time to time, not enough closet space and too many repairs to do. I loved that place like it was a palace. Rob got a job doing sales his first week out of school. It took me several more weeks but I finally got a part time job that eventually became full time later. Every cent we could come up with went towards our wedding, or at least the honeymoon. I'd have simply gone down to the courthouse and married Rob whenever he asked me to, but he reminded me that we were only going to get married once. We may as well do it right. He didn't want me to have regrets or bad feelings about it later. His family did give us several monetary gifts that helped us with both the planning and the staging of the wedding. Unfortunately my family wasn't able or willing to help. I think that my parents were upset because I hadn't come home after graduation. In fact I think that they thought that I'd gotten pregnant or something and that was why I wasn't home. It took a long time and many visits both ways for them to finally grudgingly accept Rob, and the fact that we really loved each other. The weeks leading up to the wedding were awful for me. I wanted Rob so badly that I began to regret ever promising to remain a virgin. In the last two weeks before the wedding I started sleeping in Rob's bed. And often when he'd roll over in bed and wrap his arms around me, I seriously considered just fucking him then. There were even a couple of times when he innocently moved up against me while asleep and I'd take all of my clothes off and rub my pussy with him wrapped around me. Our wedding night was a life changing event for me. We'd scraped together enough money for, literally the shittiest cabin on a cruise ship. It didn't matter because we never saw the fucking deck. I am so glad that we didn't save more money for a nicer cabin, or nicer eating arrangements. It would have been money wasted because we went on a 10 day cruise and only came out of our cabin three or four times. Rob told me I took to sex like a duck takes to water. I couldn't get enough of him. Over those ten days I made up for lost time. In the space of our honeymoon, I went from sheltered virgin to Rob's personal slut. We tried everything you can imagine. I came home with no virgin holes anywhere on my body. The next few years saw us growing even closer together. We both advanced in our careers but we did it on our terms. We let our employers know that our jobs meant the world to us, but our marriage was the universe. Rob started out in sales and moved into marketing. He probably could have made more money by staying in sales, but getting ahead there meant traveling. There was no way that either of us wanted that. It was the same with me. I busted my ass at work. All of my supervisors claimed that I was one of the hardest workers in the company. The only problem they had with me was the fact that no matter what happened during the work day, when it was time for me to go home to my husband, I was out of there. How Much Love? There were a couple of incidents where I was told that if I couldn't stay after hours, I'd probably be let go. "Okay, I told my manager. I liked working here, but I can get another job pretty easily. Replacing my husband wouldn't be nearly as easy if it was even possible." Over the years our assets grew. We moved out of the apartment into better ones and finally into a nice home. Both Rob and I, in response to the pressure from his mom (my parents had died in a tornado three years after we got married) had begun to seriously discuss having children. Rob joked that my biological clock was ticking so loudly that he could hear it from outside. We planned everything including when I should go off the pill. When I should quit my job and even which months I'd most like to be pregnant. We decided to start trying in late summer. At that time there was nothing really wrong with our marriage. In fact it was perfect, too perfect to last. That was mostly due to Rob. You've heard about marriages that grow stale over time? Ron wouldn't let that happen. He was always surprising me with little gifts or flowers or vacations. We always had several different date nights during the week and we took classes together to try out different activities and keep things fresh. We took an acting class together one summer for the hell of it. The next summer we took up fencing. The summer before it all ended we tried rock climbing only to discover that we were both afraid of heights. Our sex life was magical, but unfortunately I didn't know that. I guess I'd begun taking Rob and the things he did for me for granted. I worked in an office full of people, mostly women who were a lot younger than my thirty-six years. When I'd tell them that I'd been married for fourteen years, their eyes would roll back in their heads. "You got married when I was five years old," One girl told me. They often told me about their wild nights and their varieties of lovers. I was intrigued by hearing about being with different men, men with big dicks or smaller ones, fat ones or longer thinner ones. Black men, Asians, romantic Latin men or aggressive bikers all piqued my interest. I was headed for forty and had only had sex with one man for my entire life. I had no stories to tell of coming into work with a headache from too much liquor and a sore pussy. I didn't have any comparison to throw into the debate about whether rough sex was better than a simple no strings fuck in the broom closet at work with a guy whose name you never found out. I had never had to lie my way out of forgetting I was going out with someone because I'd booked dates with two or more guys for the same night. I'd never had sex with more than one man at a time. In fact one of the secretaries told me that I was sexually retarded. I was an anachronism, a throwback to the early twentieth century. They didn't make them like me anymore. I began to be consumed with thoughts of having sex with someone other than Rob. It began to take over most of my waking thoughts. In a conversation I once mentioned that I was thinking about asking Rob if I could do it. All of the women quickly shut me up. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" they asked. "Your husband will never let you do it. Men are like little boys. They all want to keep us locked up and reserved only for them. It doesn't matter if your husband is getting some on the side, which he probably is. You can't ever let him know that you want to try someone else. In his mind it becomes a competition. Once you've done that you'll cause yourself all kinds of problems. Don't tell him, just do it," they all said. "Besides even if he does let you do it, then at some point you're going to have to let him have his turn. Are you really prepared to let him fuck some other woman, probably someone younger than you with a nicer ass and bigger tits?" "Every man on earth doesn't want a nice normal woman like you Cheryl," said my friend Tina. She pointed across the office. They all want girls like Molly. Molly was a temp who had just gotten out of college. She was 5' 10' weighed 115lbs had a 22 inch waist and natural 36DD breasts. "Can you compete with something like that?" asked Tina. I shook my head, especially since I knew that Molly, though she used to model part time to work her way through college, had confided in me that she was looking for a marriage like mine and a husband like Rob. The thought of Rob getting to fuck her in exchange for me trying out another dick was scary. I'd never get him back. That settled it, the only thing to do since I only intended to try this once was to figure out what kind of guy I wanted. They all had advantages and I needed to really go for something different. Rob and I were nearing forty so maybe a younger guy who could go all night might be a good thing to try. After a few days of thinking about it, I made up my mind. I think it was partially because of my thoughts about Rob with Molly that made up my mind that youth and enthusiasm was the way to go. I ended up hooking up with one of our college interns, David Parker. It took a few weeks to get the relationship started. I began to spend time with him away from work and finally moved to the point where he tentatively brushed up against me. When I moaned in response to his fumbling movement he pulled out all of the stops and had me in a hotel room one Wednesday at lunch time. I wasn't disappointed. He lasted for hours just as advertised. The problem was that being tortured for hours, is still being tortured. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. It was like he just hit my pussy with a hammer. He didn't care whether it was good for me or not. When we were done he just left the room. I lay there feeling cheap and cheated. I cried my eyes out and had no one to blame but myself. When I got home I couldn't look Rob in the eyes. I had to go to bed and pretend to be sick. He made me feel even worse; he bent over backwards trying to take care of me. He tried everything he could think of to make me feel better. I was just dirt. I didn't deserve a husband that good. Within a few days everyone at work knew I'd fucked Dave. He told everyone he could. He even started describing me as his married slut. A lot of the people I worked with started to distance themselves from me and a lot of the guys started hitting on me. One of the managers even tried to pull me into a supply closet and asked me to suck his dick. I realized that for a while I'd been untouchable and special. The predators tend to stay away from faithful married women. But I'd crossed over into slutville, so I was fair game. Dave kept pushing me and pressuring me for a return visit. I refused and told him I'd file sexual harassment charges against him if he ever mentioned it again. He was young enough that the threat, though unfounded, worked. The thing I hated about Dave the most was that he only actually spoke to me when there was no one else around. He bragged to all of the guys about fucking me. But he only did it to boost his reputation. I got the feeling that while I'd considered him young and attractive and it flattered my ego to think that I could still get someone who was in their early twenties, he saw things differently. He didn't see me as attractive, only as pussy that he could easily get. Other than that he was ashamed to have people thinking that he'd even consider someone as old as I was. He'd once pointed out to me that I was only a couple of years younger than his mother. Of course the same women who'd helped me decide to do it in the first place convinced me that I'd simply picked the wrong type of guy. Tina reminded me that I'd gotten with Rob while we were both young any way. Maybe what I needed was a caring gentle older man with even more experience sexually than Rob had. Someone who would also be discreet about things because he'd probably have as much to lose as I would. Normally I would never have considered it, but they put so much pressure on me to do something to get the whole Dave experience out of my head that I began to give in. They also let me know that I was acting differently, since Dave and that if I kept that up Rob might be able to tell. None of us knew it but Rob wasn't stupid. We'd been together far too long for him not to really know me. He'd known something was wrong from the first day I'd come home "sick." He didn't know exactly what I'd done but his radar was up. I met Henry on the internet of all places. I actually went out looking for an older man to have sex with. He seemed to be perfect. His wife was dying in a hospital. Her illness was prolonged. He'd gone years without having sex and he missed it. He was looking for a discreet relationship to just occasionally tend to his urges. I felt so sorry for him that I cried. I felt like it was almost my duty to help this poor man in his pain. I felt sadder still after our first time. It took me hours to get him up and he could only maintain his erection for a few minutes. He seemed determined to get me off though so he spent nearly an hour eating me. It felt so depressing looking down into his sad eyes as he slobbered away between my eyes that I couldn't get into it and had to fake an orgasm. I think the saddest I felt though was when I found out that the whole sick wife story was a lie. He was pretty much just a con man. He wanted more sex than his wife could give him even though he couldn't get it up. When I left the motel, I realized the bastard even stole all of the cash out of my purse. I had to leave my purse, my ID and my cell phone with the motel clerk so I could go to an ATM machine and get cash to pay for the room. I couldn't risk Rob seeing the charge for the motel room on my credit card statement. As bad as I felt then I felt worse when I got home. I got home and showered up to make myself pretty for Rob. He and I had sex pretty regularly, usually 4 or 5 nights a week. We did little things like toys or themed nights to keep things fresh. Rob always got me off. The problem with us was actually in my head. I guess I'd been convinced that the grass was greener somewhere else. When I got out of the shower I noticed that Rob was already home. I'd begun cooking dinner in just one of my favorite silk robes to give him an idea of what his desert would be when I noticed his briefcase was in the living room. His car was also in the driveway. It was unusual for Rob to come into the house without talking to me or even greeting me. I searched through the house for him and finally found him in one of the spare bedrooms. He was asleep with the covers pulled up around him. I smiled and went over to him, thinking that this was one of our games. I soon found out that it wasn't. "Cher, don't get too close to me," he said. "I think I'm coming down with something." He refused to let me take care of him. He told me not to make dinner because he had no appetite. He didn't even want me to sit with him. I chalked it up to Rob trying to protect me as usual. I hated it though because in the entire time that we'd been married, it was the first night that we hadn't slept together. I tossed and turned in our big bed feeling lonely and horny. I missed Rob so badly I could taste it and that thieving bastard Henry had gotten me so warmed up that I'd have fucked a snake. I realized then that I'd taken Rob for granted. And I swore I'd never make that mistake again. It took a few days for Rob to get over his bug and start sleeping in our bed again. He was still too tired for sex and I was climbing the walls. Another thing was that he was still convinced that he might be contagious so he wouldn't cuddle with me either. The sluts at work were still working on me though. They were convinced now that what I was missing wasn't an age thing. They were now certain, that it was an experience and technique thing. What I really needed was a real experienced cock man and pussy hound, probably with a big dick. Luckily they knew just where I could meet such a guy. I told them that I'd sworn not to ever do it again and they reminded me that I'd already done it twice and it hadn't hurt my marriage. It was better for me to just get it all out of my system and then settle down have my babies and live out the rest of my life without having to look back and say, "I wish I'd done this or that." Since Rob was still under the weather and I was really horny, I caved. We left work early and went to a bar that they knew about. That way I could meet a few guys and still be home in time to keep Rob from noticing anything different. I really thought that I was doing my part to protect Rob the way he protected me. After all I'd made sure he didn't find out how badly I'd been suffering and longing to try these things. Surprisingly within a few minutes of us arriving a guy named Greg that a few of my friends from work knew came over to our table. It seemed that Greg knew a couple of them very well. He explained to me that he only did no strings meetings. He seemed kind of like a hooker, to me but realistically there was no way I'd ever fall for him anyway. He was too arrogant and too sure of himself. I got his phone number so we could hook up and get this over with. After being burned by Henry at the motel I decided to take care of my last bit of curiosity on my home ground. I called in sick the next morning and called in Greg, in the early afternoon. He arrived at about one, which I figured would give me about four hours with him before I needed to strip the bed, air out the house and get cleaned up for Rob. When Greg took off his clothes I was shocked. His body was nothing special. He wasn't even as muscular or as good looking as my husband was. I couldn't figure out why he was walking around on the balls of his feet like he was hot shit. Then he pulled his pants down and I saw the size of his dick. It was really big. The next thing I knew he had me on my back. He slowly worked that thing into me and started fucking me. He kept saying things like, "Oh yeah baby, take it." I guess it was supposed to be hot but I found it just funny. I kept wishing I could take it off of him and put it on someone else. Apparently Greg had never bothered to learn what to do with his big dick or the fact that most women needed more than one type of stimulation to climax. "You're going to be my slut after this," he said. I had to stifle my laughs even more. I started thrusting my hips into him just to get him to finish faster because suddenly I realized that I didn't need four hours with him. Twenty minutes would do. Then I could use the rest of the time to make all of Rob's favorite dishes at the same time and throw away my pills so Rob could get me pregnant. I even realized that the whole big dick thing especially in my case was a fallacy. Rob's dick was big enough that it made it all the way to my cervix. Anything else simply wouldn't go in. With every thrust that Greg was making he still didn't go any further he just painfully bottomed out on me and there were a couple of inches that just stayed outside of me. It was like trying to force a stick into a bottle. Once it hit the bottom of the bottle it wasn't going any further without breaking the stick or the bottle. My pussy could only stretch so far. Maybe over time it would adjust to Greg's length, but there wasn't going to be another time. I was almost smiling as I realized that I'd gone through all of this bullshit to realize that the perfect man for me was the one I was married to. "Whose pussy is this?" asked Greg as he hammered away at me. He was almost whining now so I could tell he was getting close. "Whose pussy is this slut?" he asked again. "Uhm yours," I said hoping that if he got what he wanted, I'd get what I wanted sooner too. I wanted him out of my fucking house. In fact if he ever showed up in my neighborhood I'd call the police after this. "Roll over, I want to fuck you doggy style," he said. "That way it'll go in deeper." "Oh shit, not deeper," I smirked. I did hope he'd get done sooner so I could take a nap before I started cooking Rob's dinner. He guided his giant dick into me from behind and I did feel some sensation from it but as I was analyzing the feelings I figured out what had been missing. Basically, unlike the women at my office, I'd been raised to believe that sex needed to come with love. In order for me to get anything out of the act I had to love the man I was with and know that he loved me. I didn't love Greg or his dick. I didn't even like him. That moment I thought I'd had a great epiphany. I thought I'd realized one of the secrets of life. What I didn't realize was that my life would change but even more profoundly in just a few moments. Greg slapped me on my ass and started humping me from behind. He'd already been close to cumming before but I could tell he was only seconds away and I couldn't wait to get this done with. "Ooh I'm gonna cum baby, where do you want it?" he asked. "Just do it," I said out of boredom and practicality. There was no way I'd let him come in my mouth or on my face or anywhere on my body. Also if he did it anywhere outside of me, it meant more time spent cleaning up. Unfortunately he took that the wrong way. "Oh you want it inside of you. You want me to knock you up don't you, you nasty little bitch?" he said. His voice was almost an octave higher as if he was straining not to cum so he could blast my insides with a more powerful spray. Like he was pumping up a super soaker before he shot it off. "Oh yeah, that's what I want," I said sarcastically. Greg suddenly collapsed onto me, his weight pressing me into the bed. His hips jerked spastically towards me as his semen shot into my pussy. "Arrrrgh," he groaned like a confused pirate. "Oh yeah!!" I said happy that it was finally over. Then I heard clapping from behind me. Greg and I turned our heads at the same time. He was too spent to move and I was pinned by his weight. I nearly lost consciousness as I realized that I was in more trouble than I'd ever been in my life. "Hey, man," began Greg. "Don't say another fucking word," warned Rob. "I'll just get my stuff and be out of here. But if you start talking, trust me I'll fuck you up." "She came after me, it's not my f..." said Greg stupidly. To this day I still wonder why he spoke. Rob had said he was leaving and to just be quiet but Greg just had to open his mouth. Though bigger than Rob physically, he couldn't come close to matching Rob's rage. Greg was exhausted from pounding away at me for nearly fifteen minutes. Rob had adrenaline and outright hate pouring through his system. He grabbed Greg by his neck and one of his arms and dragged him off of me. He pulled Greg off of me so hard that Greg's shrinking penis twisted coming out. He screamed like a woman at the abuse to his sensitive organ. It bruised my vagina enough to draw blood. Greg's watch also scraped me as it was drawn across my body. Greg yelped and started pleading with Rob but to no avail. Rob's right fist punched Greg in the face several times really quickly and really hard, while his left arm held Greg up. Then he slammed Greg's head into the floor and dragged him down our hardwood stairs by one leg. I dragged myself off of the bed expecting to see Rob kick Greg in the nuts but he never did. He opened the door and threw Greg, unconscious out onto our lawn. I expected him to turn and run up the stairs and slap the hell out me and start yelling at me, but he didn't do that either. He just looked at me for a long moment. I felt the weight of every tear that rolled down his cheeks as he looked at me. Then he just turned around and walked out of the house. My brain refused to function. I just stood there. Then after a few minutes I realized that he was probably outside beating Greg further into a pulp. I needed to be ready to beg him and plead with him not to leave me. He'd said he was going to get his stuff and leave. I ran back into the bedroom and stood in front of his dresser. There was no way he was taking anything out of this house unless he was taking me with him. How Much Love? I waited there for a few long moments with my back pressed firmly against his dresser. I felt it as Greg's sperm started leaking from me. This is bad, I thought. This is really bad. I have to do whatever he wants to prevent him from leaving me. I knew he'd never hurt me. So I felt safe trying to prevent him from getting his clothes and leaving me. I also felt like the stupidest woman alive, because I knew that no matter what I did things between us would never be the same. I'd read stories about marriages where cheating had gone on. About half of them ended in divorce. That couldn't happen to us. I loved Rob too much for that. I was willing get down on my knees and suck his dick in church if I had to but I couldn't lose him. I just couldn't. After a while I started to wonder what was taking him so long to come back. I went down the stairs and noticed that Greg was just beginning to get up. Rob's car was gone. He hadn't taken anything. He hadn't packed, he'd left me. He just walked out of my life without a word. Damn it, he was supposed to come and get his stuff so we could talk! Greg started crawling towards the house. Both of his eyes were swollen shut and his nose was at a weird angle. He was bleeding from the back of his head and his balance was off. He probably had a concussion from his head bouncing off of the stairs. As he made it to the porch I slammed the door in his face. He was standing stark naked at 1:30 in the afternoon on my porch. There was no way I was letting him back inside my house. What if Rob came back and found him inside the house again. Rob might think that I was on Greg's side. I didn't have to worry for long; the police arrived a few minutes later. They sat Greg down on my porch and called an ambulance. Then they knocked on my door. There were no cars in the driveway so I figured that if I just pretended not to be home maybe they'd go away. But then I realized I had to do something so my story and Greg's wouldn't conflict. I knew that Greg had as much to lose as I did. He was married just like me which was the reason for his no strings attached policy. I opened the door and started yelling. "I'm so glad you're here officers," I said. "I saw them when they attacked that poor man and stole his clothes. I was afraid to open the door though. I thought that they might still be in the neighborhood." "Can you describe them ma'am?" asked one of the officers. "No way," I said. "Then they'd just come back after me. My name is West, leave me out of this mess." "There were four of them," croaked Greg. "Big bikers. After they took my money they took all of my clothes just for laughs." "Ma'am are you sure you have nothing to say?" asked the officer. "If no one comes forward these guys may never get caught." "I have nothing to say," I said. "I sure hope you can sleep tonight lady," said the second cop. "I hope that someday something happens to you to fuck up your nice rosy little life, and you wish that someone had come forward to stop it before it destroyed your life." "Believe me officer," I said barely holding back my tears. "After what happened today I don't think I'm ever going to be able to sleep again. And my life isn't nearly as rosy as you think." After they left, I gathered up all of Greg's clothes and his cell phone. I was sure that sooner or later he'd come back for them. He'd need his ID and his phone at least and probably his car keys. I just sat there at my kitchen table. The robe I'd put on before going to answer the door for the police was the only thing I had on. I didn't cry, I didn't move I just listened to the sound of the clock ticking. The phone rang and I jumped up to see who was calling me. I hoped that it was Rob. But it was Tina from work. I let it go to voice mail. Five minutes later, the phone rang again. I jumped up again hoping it was Rob but once again it was Tina. "Hello Tina," I said flatly. "Please don't call me anymore tonight. I'm not in a talking mood." "This isn't a social call," she said. "I'm trying to help you and Greg do damage control. Do you have all of Greg's clothes and his phone and his wallet and car keys?" "I've got his clothes, his phone and car keys," I said. "I didn't find his wallet. It's probably in his pants though." "Great I'll be over in a few minutes to get them," she said. "Once Greg has the phone back you can call him tomorrow so you guys can get your stories straight. Greg's wife had to work late tonight. We're going to tell her that he got robbed by bikers, that same story you used for the police. You guys can get together to talk about what they did and what they looked like. It's possible that you might be forced to testify. And we need to protect Greg's marriage." "I'll throw Greg's shit out on the lawn when I get off the phone with you," I snapped. "I don't need to talk to Greg because I don't give a shit about his marriage." "Cheryl, what's wrong with you?" she asked. "What about my marriage, Tina?" I yelled. "Who's going to try to save my marriage?" I started crying. "What are you talking about?" she asked. "I'll be right over." She hung up. A few minutes later Tina pulled up in front of my house. She knocked gently on the door. I opened it and handed her Greg's clothes and keys. "What happened?" she asked. I told her the whole story. She was shocked. "Your husband did that to Greg?"she asked. I nodded. "He hasn't come home yet," I said. "I don't know what I'm going to do. We've never been apart." "I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that your cute little husband beat the fuck out of Greg," she said. "Did he take a lot of his clothes and personal stuff when he left?" "Nope," I said. "He just walked away." "Then you need to stay home for a few days," she said. "If he's really pissed at you to the point that he doesn't want to see you, he'll try to pick up his stuff when you're at work." "That's probably what he'll do," I said. "Why do you care?" she asked. "Didn't you want to replace him anyway? I mean for weeks now you've been fucking around on him because you wanted to try something different. That usually only happens when a woman wants to either end her marriage or she knows her husband is fucking someone else. Which one is it?" "Neither," I said. "Rob would never cheat on me, just like I'd never cheat on him. I could never replace him. He's perfect for me. In fact I realized that just before I started this whole thing with Greg." "Cheryl, why did you sleep with those other guys then?" she asked. "Because whether you know it or not honey, you did exactly that. You cheated on your husband." "But I was only listening to you guys," I yelled. "The only man I had ever been with is Rob. You girls all talked about variety and trying different things and different dicks. It made me feel old and boring." "Cheryl, why do you think we go out to clubs and bars all the time?" she asked me. "Because it's fun and exciting," I said. "Nope," she said sadly. "We do it because it beats the hell out of going home to an empty apartment alone. Ask any girl that does it. We're all looking to find someone, who'll love us and take care of us forever. We want someone who won't judge us or just fuck us and dump us and who won't cheat on us. We're all looking for someone to love us, like you have. I'll bet every girl that you were talking to in that office is simply jealous of what you have. That's why we all hate that bitch Molly. She's the only one who'll admit to what she wants. So we all try to make it sound like we're happy doing what we're doing but I'll bet you any one of those women would trade places with you in a heartbeat." "Oh no," I said realizing what I'd done. "Do you know how many times I've gone home with some guy and let him fuck me and pretend that awful sex was good just so I'd have someone to take me to a party?" she asked. "And as far as the sex goes, what really makes it great is when the other person is really trying to please you because they love you. It's so much better than just having some guy pounding on you to get his nut off and then rolling over, getting dressed and going home." She shook her head. "And most of the time you know that they don't give a damn about you. They're only going to call you as long as you put out. Even then as soon as a guy is tired of you, or bored with fucking you, he's gone. Unless, of course, you do wilder and wilder stuff. First they just want to fuck you so badly; they'll do anything you want to get some." She spoke like she'd been through it. "Once they've gotten it, the power shifts. You have to keep giving it to them to keep them. Before you know it you're giving them blowjobs in parking lots. Then you're letting them fuck you in the ass. Then you're fucking their friends. Finally you're doing gangbangs for them, and despite the fact that you're doing all of this for a guy just so you won't be alone, it doesn't matter. One day he looks at you and tells you it's over. He doesn't want to be with a slut who does that kind of stuff. Trust me, every one of those women in that office was always jealous of you." I started crying even louder then. "Hey," she said. "It's probably not as bad as you think. If he loves you as much as you've always said he does, maybe he'll forgive you. But whatever you do, be here when he comes back for his stuff. Call every friend of his you know and find him, but don't ever stop fighting for him. Don't ever give up. You'll never find a love like that one again." As we talked she looked through Greg's clothes but didn't find his wallet anywhere. She asked me to return it to him when I found it. The next morning I called in sick again. I put on Rob's favorite outfit and started making his favorite meal. Then I sat down at the kitchen table and waited. By lunch time he hadn't called or come home. I made a list of all of Rob's friends and started calling them. No one had seen him. I called his job and was told that Rob was taking the day off. Finally in desperation I called his mom. She hadn't heard from him either. I checked our bank accounts and got some good news. Rob hadn't taken the money out of the accounts or canceled them. He hadn't even charged anything like a motel room yesterday or today. My heart ached, my head ached, my soul ached, but all I could do was to wait. Finally I called the police and made a missing persons report. They asked me a few stupid questions and told me they'd be in touch. They seemed to think that maybe Rob had run off with another woman and if he had, he was within his rights. I could divorce him for abandonment if he was gone over a certain period of time. They told me they would contact me if they got any leads and hung up. That night I fell asleep on the couch out of pure exhaustion. As soon as I woke up I ran all over the house to see if anything was different or if he'd been there. The next morning I called all of Rob's friends again. Again no one had heard from him. Finally when I got to one of Rob's best friends Danny Aames, I got a reaction. I didn't actually speak to Danny this time because he was at work. I ended up speaking to his wife. If I'd spoken to Danny I'd probably have gotten the same reaction I'd gotten the previous day. But women are different. "We haven't seen him," she said. Her voice was very tight and terse. Something just clocked in my head. "Are you sure?" I asked. Apparently that was all she could take and she lit into me. "Rob is one of the nicest guys I know," she snapped. "Why don't you just leave him the fuck alone, you whore? You've already hurt him bad enough that he's leaving town. Can't you just give him a break? You've pretty much destroyed the man. He quit his fucking job, and he's homeless. He left you everything he has but you just need to twist the knife and rub it in his face. No wonder there are so many men out there who just hate women. A bitch like you makes it bad for every one of us." Then she stopped and was breathing so loudly I could hear it over the phone. "Cheryl, can I ask you a question?" she said. "How do you feel knowing that you broke the heart of a man who loved you totally? I've seen you two together. Remember we've had barbecues and parties together. I know how he felt about you. How does it feel to know that someone loved you that much and you just took their heart in your hands and just crushed it? Do you feel good right now? Apparently not because you're still trying to fuck with him right now. Cheryl, just leave him alone. You won, you totally tore him up. He's never going to be the same. So just leave him alone. If you ever loved him at all in all of that time that you two were married, just leave him alone." Then she slammed the phone down so hard my ears were ringing for a while afterwards. I couldn't help it, I just started crying again. Why couldn't anyone see that this was hurting me too? I loved Rob at least as much as he loved me and I knew that it was my fault that we were in this situation. I was dying inside but not one person cared. Maybe it was two hours later that the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. "Hello," I said woodenly. "Where should I send his shit," yelled an outraged woman. At first I thought she was talking about Rob. "I told Greg the last time he tried this shit that if he cheated on me again we were over. He's all yours now you home-wrecking whore. When I find out where you live, I'm going to beat the shit out of you. But first I'm going to show you a picture. I want to see if you're cold enough not to care that the man you're cheating with has...had three small children who depended on him. How could he do that to his kids? A whore like you probably doesn't have any kids. You just fuck around with anyone you feel like and there are no consequences. You've just destroyed our family so I hope you feel really good about it, bitch." then she slammed the phone down too. I didn't understand why she'd blame me. I didn't know that Greg had any kids. Hell, I barely knew that he was married. He made it seem like his wife and he were about to get divorced. I guess they probably would now. I did feel bad about the kids. But as cold as it seemed, that was Greg's problem and his responsibility not mine. My problem was getting Rob back and I was prepared to do anything to do it. I decided to go to Danny's house and talk to Angie. She'd probably want to beat me up and I'd let her if she'd tell me anything about Rob. But she was the only person I knew who'd even admit to having seen him in the past two days. I was torn because I wanted to go see Angie but what if Rob came home and got his stuff while I was gone. I called Angie and begged her to come over and talk to me. I begged her for the sake of all of the time we'd known each other to at least let me tell her my side of things and if she didn't like what I said she could just leave. If she could understand that I'd just made a mistake could she please just tell me what she knew? She told me that she'd think about coming over but she didn't think it was a good idea. She said she was afraid that if she saw me she might just beat the shit out of me, so maybe we should do it over the phone. Then she said that she might come over or she might just call back. She also said that she might not do either. I got the feeling that she had to call someone to decide what to do. I didn't know whether she wanted to call Rob or Danny but I hope she'd let me know something. I dozed off again sitting at the kitchen table. A knock at my door awakened me. I looked through the window and there was a woman standing on my back porch. "I came around to the back when I didn't see anyone in the front," she said smiling. She looked like a girl who had just gotten out of college. I was sure she was selling something, so I wanted to get rid of her quickly and get back to my misery. "Are you Cheryl Thomas?" she asked cheerfully. "Yes," I told her. I was thinking that these sales companies were probably beginning to buy the identities and information on potential customers like they did on the internet. She held out a stack of papers to me, and I reflexively accepted them. "You've been served," she smiled even broader. "Have a nice day ma'am and don't forget to get your pet spayed or neutered." There should be a law against what that little cunt did to me. Over the past three days I hadn't eaten anything. I'd settled into depression and was barely holding it together. When I looked at the papers she'd handed me and read them I went further into shock and collapsed. The heading on the top of the papers said "Petition for the dissolution of Marriage." As I fell to the floor, I remember my eyes focusing on her tight, pert little ass shifting saucily from side to side as she walked away from me. The bitch was actually looking at another stack of papers as she walked. Was that her fucking job? Did she just destroy one marriage after another all fucking day long and then go home and have dinner? Maybe someday she'd get to give her own husband his divorce papers. I wanted to kill that bitch, but I realized that she hadn't ruined my marriage, I had. But I was determined to save it. I thought I had a good relationship with my neighbors. At least I liked to think that I did. I don't know how long I lay there crumpled in my doorway holding those fucking papers but when I regained consciousness I noticed that my next door neighbor, Mr. Smithers was mowing his lawn. I lay there crumpled up in my back doorway in full view as he just cut his fucking grass. Maybe he thought that either sluttiness or stupidity was contagious. Maybe he thought that after what I'd done I should just lie there and rot. I also noticed that my phone was ringing. I picked the phone up and croaked "Hello."I was sure it was Angie, but it was a man. "Good morning, Mrs. Thomas or whatever you'll be calling yourself," he said. "I'd like to make arrangements to come by and pick up the papers and my check." I was tired of people acting like I knew what was going on. "Who are you?" I said coldly. "Forgive me," he said. "I'm Oscar Goldman. I'm representing your ex husband in his divorce case. As he and I worked it out, I'm supposed to come by pick up the papers and a check from you. Then in a few months it'll all be over and clear." "Hold on, Perry Mason," I snapped. "I'm not a lawyer but I know that's not how it works. I'm supposed to get a lawyer too. Then we set up meetings and discuss whether both sides want a divorce and whether or not we can just go to counseling. Then if we can't work out our differences we have more meetings to decided the property settlement yada, yada, yada. But trust me there won't be a divorce here." "Nope, ma'am," he said sharply. "In our state, in a marriage without children, you can have an uncontested divorce in 90 days if there are no property or support issues to work out. I do it for a flat fee of $189.00. My client assures me that this would be one of those. I assume you've got the papers already, and seen the settlement he proposes." "First off I haven't gotten a chance to look at your fucking papers," I screamed into the phone. "And secondly this divorce will definitely be contested. I will never agree to divorce him. And no matter what he tried to use to buy me out of the marriage it won't work." "Everyone has their price," he chirped. "What's yours?" "I don't have a price," I hissed. "Wait, I've changed my mind yes I do. I'll give him the divorce if he gives me the one thing I want more than anything else." "What's that?" he asked. "I want my husband back," I said. Then for once I slammed the phone down. I wasn't an idiot. I looked over the papers and started crying again. Rob had given me everything, except the car he drove away in and the clothes on his back. He even offered to send the car back when he got to where he was going. I had my own car why would he think I needed his in addition to it? How Much Love? It was apparent that Rob only wanted to get away from me. He was willing to just walk away and he had. I'd have the house, all of our money, which was mostly his, all of our investments, even his clothing and personal items. He was giving me everything he had just to get away from me. He wasn't even telling anyone what I'd done, he just wanted his freedom. But I loved him too much to give it to him. Almost a month later despite my hiring a lawyer and trying to fight the divorce, a judge granted it. He wondered what I'd done to Rob to make him literally just walk out of the house and leave me everything he'd worked for over nearly fifteen years just to be away from me. My lawyer quickly brought up the fact that Rob made substantially more than I did so there should be some type of support agreement. The judge thought it had been my idea, so he addressed me. "Woman, when the man left this state he was homeless. As I understand it he quit his job and left you everything he had, even his clothes. What more can you take from him? Do you want me to put him in jail too?" God I wish that judge could have put Rob in jail. I'd have been there with him in a heartbeat. I'd talk to him every day until he forgave me. "Your honor my client has not been allowed to speak to her husband even briefly since he left her. It is customary for there to be a meeting between the aggrieved spouses to determine matters," said my attorney. "Counselor you've been reading too many fucking internet divorce stories. There is no law or statute that mandates that. All of the paperwork has been filed correctly. Divorce granted. If I had any say in the matter, I'd have changed the settlement to the customary 50/50 ratio but this poor bastard only wanted to get away with what's left of his dignity intact. Let's leave him that. The Divorce will be final in 60 days. Next case." He banged his gavel, looked at me and shook his head. I was sure he said "Bitch," under his breath. Then he called for the next case. I quit my job. I couldn't stand working there anymore. Every guy there thought I was easy pussy and desperate. All of the women thought I was stupid. I stayed home for a while, living off of our savings. I used some of our investments to pay down the mortgage and refinance it so I could afford the house alone. I tried to mend fences with some of our friends but none of them wanted to be friends with me. I guess word had spread pretty quickly about what I'd done. How I'd destroyed two families, and took a father away from three small children. I'd also humiliated Rob, who everyone agreed didn't deserve it. Seemingly no one cared about my pain. About a month after my divorce was final Greg showed up. He was drunk and wanted some pussy. He told me I owed him because he hadn't told anyone that Rob had been the one who messed up his face. His nose hadn't healed well even after the surgeries. It appeared that he had some nerve damaged too because the two sides of his face no longer worked together. It didn't appear that he could control the muscles in his mouth very well. One side would smile or move while the remaining side appeared to be paralyzed. I tried to close the door on him but he stuck his foot in it to hold it open. I slipped the chain on it and ran into the kitchen and got the biggest knife I could find. As he reached through the door with his arm trying to take the chain off it, I cut him. Not a very big cut but I drew blood and let him know I was serious. He looked at me in surprise. I guess he thought I was playing a game, but I hated the bastard. "You'll never get any of this dick again," he sneered. "Bitch." "Oh look," I smiled. "My husband is pulling up." Greg looked around and I thought I saw fear on his face. He didn't want any part of tangling with Rob again. He ran off and I never heard from him again. Over the last few months I've begun to establish a relationship with Rob's mom again. She'd always considered me like a daughter and I think I've convinced her that I love her son more than I love life itself. She knows that I've made a colossal mistake and one that I may never be able to fix. She's forgiven me and she reads me her postcards and emails from him sometimes, but she won't take my side or try to help me contact him. In fact she never even told me he was back in this state. There will never be another man for me period. That's why I wouldn't go out bar hopping with you guys before tonight. Even tonight, as I said, my intention was to get a drink and go home. I only went because tonight I really couldn't bear to be alone. That was probably why Rob went out tonight too. Connie looked Cheryl in the eye and noticed her friend's tears falling again freshly. Something had upset her all over again. "What's so bad about tonight?" asked Connie. "Tonight would have been our anniversary," said Cheryl crying. "Well, then tonight's a great place to start, isn't it?" asked Connie. "Start what?" asked Cheryl through her tears. "Our plan to get him back," said Connie. "Are you still talking about some kind of revenge?" asked Cheryl. "What would you need revenge for, he didn't do anything wrong Honey? To be honest, you did. But when I said get him back, I meant to get the two of you back together," said Connie. "You mean it?" asked Cheryl perking up. "Of course I do," said Connie. "I know it seems impossible, but it really shouldn't be that hard." Cheryl looked at Connie strangely. "Why not?" she asked. "Because the two of you are still in love with each other," said Connie. "That kind of love is hard as hell to find. So it has to mean something. It may take us a while to accomplish. And we'll probably have a few setbacks and fuckups along the way, but if you're willing to totally commit to it, we can do this." "I'll do anything it takes to get Rob back," said Cheryl. "Okay, we need to start planning," said Connie. "What does he think about what happened between you two?" "I don't know," said Cheryl. "I haven't spoken to him since before he caught me. He just disappeared and no one would tell me anything. Even people who knew where he was wouldn't tell me a thing. When I saw him tonight, it was the first time I've seen him since it happened." "No wonder you freaked out," said Connie. "I didn't even know that he was back in town, let alone working somewhere around here. I don't know anything about him anymore," said Cheryl. "Well except for one thing." "What's that?" asked Connie. "That there's a woman here, who'll love him til her dying day," said Cheryl. "No matter what." "Sorry Hon," said Connie. "But that doesn't help us. We need hard information on what he's like now. The experience he had with you had to have changed him. Did you notice anything different about him?" "Well he seems to be more muscular," said Cheryl. "And he seems less open, less trusting than he used to be. He just seems...sadder." "What the hell did you expect?" asked Connie. "Honey, if he loved you as much as you say he did, what you did to him probably made him feel like you ripped his heart out of his chest with a fucking shovel, and handed it to him. He's not going to trust anyone very easily. Especially not a woman and extremely especially not you, he'd probably do anything to avoid feeling like that again. So it's going to be really hard." "But not impossible, right?" asked Cheryl with a hint of desperation in her voice. "Why do you want to do this?" asked Connie changing the subject. "Do you want this for yourself? Do you need him back just to get back something that you had once and want again? Or do you just like the way he fucks you? Why do you want this so badly?" "Because I love him and I'm nothing without him," said Cheryl. "My whole life hasn't felt like life since he walked away from me. It feels like I'm just going through the motions until I can die." "Can't you get that from another guy?" asked Connie. "There are lots of guys out there. And there are lots of women out there who are all looking for someone to love. Can't you just go looking like the rest of us?" "I tried other guys," snapped Cheryl. "And it's not just the sex part. No other man I've ever met makes me feel like Rob does. My trying out other guys, as stupid as it was, wasn't because I didn't love Rob or because I was bored with him, I just wanted to see what those stupid women in my old office were talking about. If I had known that it would cost me my marriage, I'd never had risked it. I'd have stayed curious for the rest of my life." "Okay, but I have to warn you, this is probably going to be painful for both of you," said Connie. "If you love him as much as you say you do, how is it that you're willing to put him through all of the pain that this will cause him?" She looked at Cheryl. "I mean if you love someone that much why make them suffer?" "Because he's already suffering, just like I am," said Cheryl. "At least this way, there will be an end to his suffering and a time at the end of the tunnel where we'll be back together again and eventually happy. If we don't get back together, I'm not sure either of us will last much longer." "Okay, I'll start Monday," said Connie. All of her questions had convinced her that they were doing this for the right reasons. "Start what?" asked Cheryl excitedly. "The first thing we need to do is to get close to him. Luckily I'm friendly with his buddy, Roger, from the bar. I'll go and visit him Monday morning at work and try to get him to introduce me to Rob. I'll get Rob to agree to talk to me. Once he's comfortable with me I'll find out how he feels about you. Then I'll gradually feed him more information about you and how you feel. Our goal is to get him eventually to agree to talk to you. After we accomplish that, we'll see what our next step is." "That sounds great," said Cheryl excitedly. Then the expression on her face changed. "What do you get out of this?" she asked. "I'm a firm believer that what goes around, comes around," said Connie. "Up until this point in my life I've had a lot of fun, and lately that's been my problem. I've reached the point where I don't want to be the fun girl anymore. I want something like what you had. So maybe if I help you find your true love again, someday someone will help me find mine." All day Sunday, Connie tried out different outfits in her mirror at home. She had to be very careful the way she approached Rob. This would be very different from every other man she'd ever gone after. Connie had known since her teens what her assets and liabilities were and how to maximize the former and minimize the latter. Normally her game plan would be to put on a tight skirt and a low-cut blouse and lean over in front of a guy a lot. It usually did the trick. But Rob wasn't a pussy hound, and he'd already been hurt pretty badly so a frontal attack wouldn't work. She'd probably just scare him off. Early Monday she showered and put on a light floral scent. She didn't even want her smell to over-power him. She put on a waist cincher because she knew that she was a bit heavier around the middle than she should be. Besides making her waist smaller it made her boobs look bigger and her ass as well. She put on a nice dress that while not low cut did show off her deep cleavage and let anyone who was looking know that she had some major league titties under it. She drove over to Roger and Rob's office. She saw Roger and he smiled and waved her over. "I've never seen you so covered up, babe," said Roger. "Were you so desperate to see me that you couldn't wait until the next time I show up at the bar?" "Roger honey," cooed Connie. "You know that thing of mine that you're always so interested in having?" "You mean that fat, round thing you're sitting on?" he leered. Roger was instantly both awake and aroused. "Uhm Hm," said Connie. She knew she had Roger right where she wanted him. The two of them had been having sex occasionally for months, but she had never given him anal. "If you do me a favor, I'm not promising you that you'll get it, but it would go a long way towards making me consider it," she said. "Who do I have to kill?" he asked. "Do you remember my friend from the other night?" she asked. "Which one, there were like three other women at your table?" asked Roger. "The brunette..." she began. "Oh shit, not the depressed looking one who cried the whole time and was so fucking hysterical that you had to take her home and prevented me from getting any pussy?" he asked. "Yep, that's her," said Connie in a creamy voice. "Okay I'd kill that bitch even if you don't let me fuck your ass," snapped Roger. "Shit she probably wants someone to kill her, she looks fucking miserable." "Roger, I don't want you to kill her..." began Connie. "There's no way I'd fuck her," snapped Roger. "There's no way to win in a situation like that. All of those depressed women are too down to enjoy sex. Sometimes they come out of their depression and try to charge you with rape. Other times they kill themselves after it and every one blames you. Then there are the really nutty ones who start stalking you after you've fucked them. No thanks, I don't need any of that." "Look Dumb Ass," interrupted Connie. "You couldn't fuck her if you tried. And I don't want you too anyway. Don't you remember? She used to be married to your friend Rob." "Holy fuck," said Roger. "No wonder the poor guy doesn't want anything to do with women. I've tried a couple of times to get him set up and he just blows them off. Then the girls get pissed at me. I guess he's kind of cute or whatever women like, but once I introduce them to him, the guy won't even talk to them. He acts kind of like you guys saw Friday night. As soon as you walked over near our table, he was in the wind." Roger made a whooshing sound like the wind blowing that he thought was hilarious, but caused Connie to just look at him strangely. "Well the two of them weren't always like that," said Connie. "They were really in love for a long time until something happened to fuck things up and they got a divorce. They're both miserable without each other so I intend to put them back together." "Good luck with that," smirked Roger. "Meanwhile back at the ranch, how does this get me any closer to the back of your panties?" "What I need you to do is introduce me to him and stay with us to the point where he's talking to me," said Connie. "I can handle it from there." "Ooh so you want to fuck your friend's man. You are a skanky bitch, aren't you? Well I don't care, as long as I get mine. I am available for three ways and gangbangs if you're interested," he smirked. "Just the intro, please," said Connie smiling. She'd been thinking all weekend about the things that Cheryl had told her, especially about the things from Cheryl and Rob's relationship. Connie had made a few decisions about her own life. The first had been that she really was tired of being the girl who everyone fucks, who then ends up alone while they all went back to their wives and girlfriends. It truly was time for her to find her own mate. That much of what she told Cheryl had been true. It was also very true that Connie wanted to help Cheryl get Rob back. She really wanted to see Cheryl happy; she just doubted that it was possible. The look in Rob's eyes was worse than Cheryl's. It was as if his soul had been torn out. Connie didn't believe he'd ever take a woman back who had done that to him. If he did, good for Cheryl, but if he didn't, Connie wouldn't mind having Rob's boots under her bed. Roger grabbed her hand and dragged her down the hall. He knocked once on the door to an office and barged in. The man in the office was on the phone. He turned to look at them, as he continued to speak into the phone. He nodded at Roger, and gave Connie the once over. His face was non-committal as he appraised her. "What's up Rog," asked Rob as he hung up the phone. "Nothing much, bub" said Roger. "It's about that gas sucking, noise maker of yours." "Be careful besmirching the love of my life," smiled Rob. His manner implied that he was jokingly referring to the car as the love of his life, but Connie wasn't sure he was joking. "Anyway Rob, do you remember Friday night when I finally got you to go bar hopping with me and the boys?" Rob nodded and Connie noticed that his face and his shoulders tightened up at the memory. "I was bringing Connie over to talk to you about your religion... then you just disappeared on me," said Roger. Connie could see that Rob was playing the memory back in his head. The tension in the man's body was so tight she thought he might pop a synapse. She had to do something to lighten the mood. "I hope I didn't do anything to scare you away," she said. "No, it wasn't you," said Rob woodenly. "It was someone else." Even as he said, "Someone else", Connie could see that his brain had slipped a gear. It was as if just thinking about Cheryl caused him so much pain that he had a mini stroke each time he thought about her. Connie wondered whether he hated Cheryl that much, or if he loved her so much that being without her cause him that much pain. "Anyway, Connie here wants to convert to your...uh religion. So I thought that you could preach to her a little bit about the gospel of the Mustang church." Suddenly Connie realized how brilliant Roger truly was. This was perfect. He'd given her an excellent way into Rob's life. "I really want to buy one," she gushed. "But I've only seen them from a distance and I don't know anything about owning a car like that. Like what kind of maintenance do you have to perform, I have thousands of questions, about it." Connie noticed that Rob's expression towards her had just softened. When she first walked in Rob had looked at her as if Roger had brought a fresh turd in and placed it on his desk. Now he looked at her as if he was sizing her up to see if she'd look good in a Mustang. "I have far too many questions to bother you with while you're working, perhaps we could meet somewhere later." She picked up the pad on his desk and wrote down her phone numbers home and cell so he could call her later. "If you call me on the cell number, you'll get me at any time," she said. She and Roger started walking towards the door. Connie leaned back in the doorway and told Rob, "There won't be anyone else with me, I promise. It'll just be you and me, and your car of course." Then she and Roger closed the door leaving Rob alone with his thoughts. As soon as Connie and Roger had closed the door, Roger noticed that there was no one in the hallway. He took the opportunity to grab a handful of Connie's ass. Then he reached up and cupped her breasts and ground his pelvis against hers. "So, how was that?" he asked. "I have to admit it was really smart," she said. "So do I get some?" he asked. "I said I'd consider..." she began. "Yep," he nodded. "You said it would bring you closer to considering letting me have your ass, but while you're considering that, I think I deserve at least a blowjob, tonight." "Okay, at least a blowjob, but not tonight," she said. "You can have your, at least a blowjob after I get my talk with Rob." "Are you trying to set me up for sloppy seconds?" he asked. "I wasn't..." she began. "Cause I'll take filthy fifths," he said. "As long as I get some." Connie nodded her head and smiled. She patted Roger on his shoulder. "Then you need to convince him to call me don't you," she said. She rubbed the front of his pants, knowing that she would never have sex of any kind with Roger again. She'd been thinking again about the way that Rob had been with Cheryl. When they met in their twenties he'd already been sexually active, but he'd put it on hold to be with her. He hadn't made an issue of it or griped about it because as important as sex was, Cheryl had been more important. It was like her mother had told her many years ago. If a man really loves you, he'll wait. How Much Love? The only thing men ever wanted from Connie was sex. If they didn't get it, they moved on to someone else. When they got it, they eventually moved on to someone else anyway. She was only pussy to them. And that was all she was to Roger as well. There was no future for her with Roger so why waste her time on him. Then there was another thing that she'd never noticed before. Jealousy. Rob loved Cheryl so much that seeing her having sex with another man, had destroyed them. It had incited him to violence, nearly killing a man and caused him to just walk away from his life, his career, his marriage and everything he had. The thought of having to share someone he loved that much had simply unglued him. He was, she could tell still suffering from it. Roger on the other hand didn't care who fucked Connie. He was not only willing to share her; he was willing to be one of five or more guys, as long as he got his turn. If he cared about her at all, there was no way he would be able to handle that. Connie suddenly realized that most of the things she thought she knew about men, might not be true. And even more she decided that she needed a guy like Rob. Connie left Roger and Rob's office and went immediately to her own job. She sat down at her desk and looked through her inbox to see what she had that was pressing. She held up a sheet of paper and waved at her office manager across the room. He waved back. She'd called to let him know that she'd be late, so he nodded. He wasn't nearly as evil with her as he was with the rest of the office staff because she'd given him the occasional blowjob when the situation called for it. She pretended to look up a number on the sheet of paper in her hand and dialed the number on her phone. When the phone was answered, she began speaking. "Cheryl," she said. "How are you feeling, Hon?" "I didn't feel well enough to come to work today, but better," said Cheryl. "At least I have hope now." "Oh sweetie, you have more than that," said Connie. "Meet me in the park near work, for lunch. Bring me something nice because I skipped breakfast for you." "Okay, I'll be there," said Cheryl hanging up. Connie was excited as she waited for Cheryl in the small park. Near her there were a couple of mothers with small children, who teetered and scampered on the nearby play space and sandbox. After a few minutes she saw Cheryl walking towards her with a couple of boxed lunches from a nearby Deli. Cheryl looked nervous as she put the boxes down. Connie opened one and began to eat a sandwich piled high with a variety of Deli meats. "Well?" asked Cheryl. "What are you so excited about? Did you come up with something to help our plan?" "Oh way better than that?" said Connie. She took a can of Pepsi from the box and popped the top. "Tell me," implored Cheryl. "Oh alright," said Connie acting as if it was no big deal. "I spoke to Rob today. I gave him my phone numbers and I'm hoping he'll call me soon, so we can get together to talk." Cheryl was shocked. She sat on the bench unmoving for a while and then the face broke into a smile. "How was he? What did he say? Did he mention me? Did you mention me? Does he hate me? Where was he? How long has he been back in town?" she asked all of the questions in a flurry without stopping to breathe. "He's fine," said Connie slowly. "He didn't mention you. When I did hint about you, a shadow passed across his face. He was very tense whenever he thought about you." "That's bad isn't it?" asked Cheryl. "It means he hates me." Just like that tears started to fall. "Cheryl, it's still early, we don't know what it means. It may just mean that he's still upset because he loved you so much," said Connie. "You have to give this some time." Just as Cheryl was readying another round of questions, Connie's phone rang. "Hello," said Connie. She smiled and in a really buttery voice said, "Yes I really would love that. Yes, of course I promise. We'll be all alone. Maybe you could show me yours first, then we could take it from there and see what happens." Cheryl just frowned listening to the conversation. "One of your boyfriends?" she smirked after Connie had hung up. "Nope yours," smirked Connie right back. Cheryl's face clouded up in anger. Connie laughed at her friend. "We were talking about cars, Dimwit," she said. "The only way I could get to talk to him was to convince him that I want to buy a Mustang. He loves his so much that apparently it's become like a religion to him. I think he's transferred all of the love he had for you to that car." Cheryl smiled. "Why are you smiling so much now?" asked Connie. "I don't mind him being in love with a car," said Cheryl. "I'd die if I found out he was wasting his energy with another woman. A car I can handle." "Why," asked Connie. "Because he's mine," said Cheryl fiercely. "Divorced or not he's mine. I don't need to hear about him sticking my dick in some other woman's disease ridden holes. It would kill me." "You mean like you did to him?" asked Connie. Cheryl paled and started to cry. "That didn't mean anything. It was only sex. It had nothing to do with my love for him. I just needed to know what it was like," said Cheryl. "So what would be different about him having sex with someone else?" asked Connie. "You really confuse me sometimes Cheryl. Women always degrade men because they're pussy hounds and they don't understand romance, or they don't understand the true meanings of emotional connections. You had this guy who worshipped the ground you walked on and you ruined it by fucking around on him. You constantly try to justify it by saying that it was only sex or it was to satisfy your curiosity. But when we bring up the subject of him doing it, it's a different thing. That's a big double standard isn't it? It just sounds crazy." Cheryl looked at her feet. "I can't change the past. I can only make the future better," she said. "Cheryl, I really hope you know what you had," said Connie. "Roger told me today that he wouldn't mind being the fifth one in line to fuck me. In his mind as long as he gets off, he's happy. It made me realize that none of the guys I've ever been with gave a damn about me." Connie too looked down. "I understand now why you were so upset but you have to face the fact, that maybe you hurt him too badly to put what you had back together. I didn't realize it myself until I saw him today. This was far worse on him than it was on you. At least you had an idea of what was going on. You at least, committed the acts that ended your marriage. You at least were looking for something. He got blindsided by the person he loved most. He may never love anyone again, or even trust anyone. I'll let you know what happens when I meet him tonight." When Connie left work, she drove back to the same bar that she'd originally seen Rob at. She got the same table that he'd been sitting at with his friends, including Roger. Since the morning just thinking about Roger raised Connie's ire. There had been several times when she'd considered the possibility of a more permanent relationship between the two of them. Now she could see that would never happen. Of course in the asshole's defense there had been plenty of times when she'd been so horny that any dick would do and she had sought out his. Maybe it was the fact that she was getting older but things were beginning to affect her differently. The thought of screwing the same man over and over again had once filled her with equal amounts of boredom and revulsion. She'd never had any scruples about married men because she'd considered what she did with them to be simply borrowing them, not stealing them since she never intended anything long term. But lately the idea of a man of her own made her feel warm. The biggest shocker had been this morning after the lunch with Cheryl. It wasn't just the way she'd practically attacked poor Cheryl for behavior that she herself had done far worse than, it was after Cheryl left, nearly in tears. Connie had looked over at the mothers with their small children and felt a sense of longing. She'd actually rubbed her own tummy as if something was growing there. Connie snapped out of her thoughts in time to see Rob approaching her table slowly. He moved as if he was walking through tall grass and expecting a snake. She appraised him yet again. He was tall at maybe 6' 1" and muscular. He had dark brown hair and eyes. His eyes appeared to be brooding and cynical, but according to Cheryl that wasn't always the case. "Hi Rob," Connie said unleashing her most devastating smile. She signaled for a waitress and she took their orders. Rob actually tried to pay for their drinks until Connie reminded him that she'd asked him for the meeting so it was up to her to pay for the first round. He pulled out a couple of brochures and dealer quote pages on several different models of Mustangs "Rob, I'm sorry but I can't lie to you," Connie said. "You're too sweet for that. No matter what happens between us I won't ever lie to you. I will never be dishonest with you in any way." He nodded and looked at her. Connie thought he relaxed a bit. "I'd love to see your car," said Connie. "But I don't think I could afford one of my own. The main reason I wanted to talk with you...Well there are two reasons. One of them you're not going to like very much. And the other I hope you will." He stood up and got ready to leave. "Rob, please don't go," said Connie. "I'm not interested," he said. "Interested in what?" asked Connie. "Roger told me that you wanted something from me. He warned me to be careful. But he needed me to at least show up, because of some deal you made with him," said Rob. "So Roger told you," Connie snapped. He nodded his head. "Why would he do that?" "Bros before Ho's," smirked Rob. "But you came anyway," she asked. "Why?" "Because he needed me to show up, so he can get whatever you promised him. He said you were an easy piece of ass and he wanted some," Rob said ruefully. "Did he give you an idea of what I wanted?" she asked. "I only know it has something to do with "her," he said. "But it doesn't matter. I'm over her. It's taken me almost a year. But I'm stronger now, in the words of the Who, "I won't get fooled again." "So you're over her huh?" asked Connie. He nodded, smiling confidently. "Cheryl," she said. His face fell. "Cheryl Thomas," she said. He frowned and wiped his eyes. "Friday was the anniversary of the day you married her. Fifteen years ago. It was the happiest day of your life wasn't it?" "No," he croaked. "Are you lying to me Rob?" she asked. "No," he said angrily. "It was only the second happiest, the first was the day I met her." He turned to leave again. "Rob, please don't go," said Connie softly. "I'm not trying to cause you any pain or hurt you. I'm not even trying to fool you. I told you what was going on as soon as you sat down. As a matter of fact I really like you, and I'd like to help you, whether you believe me or not." "Why?" he asked. "Rob, I know about what you went through. I heard it from Cheryl Friday night. I know what she did to you, and what it did to her. I know how you sacrificed for her and how it ended. I know how meeting her and falling in love with her changed your life. And maybe I want some of that magic for myself," said Connie. "I already told you I'm not interested in having sex," said Rob. "I'm not offering you sex," said Connie. "I'm offering you something you need more." "What's that?" he asked. "A friend," said Connie. "You really need someone to talk to from time to time, even if it's only someone who'll listen to you. You've heard of friends with benefits. We can be friends without benefits." He looked at her as if he was thinking about it. He sat down which was a good sign. She noticed that his shoulders were slumping and he looked awful. It was like the bravado of his persona when he'd first come over was all just a front. "I loved her so much," he said. "Rob, she loves you too," said Connie. "More than anything I've ever seen. People aren't perfect Rob. We all make mistakes and bad decisions. We all take things for granted and find out later that the things we counted on are conditional. For the past eleven months that woman has been in hell. She's had to live with the fact that she did something really stupid that drove the man she loves away from her forever. Can you imagine that kind of pain?" His eyes hardened so quickly she thought he'd blinked. In an instant the pained, sorrowful, joyless, depressed teddy bear became a really pissed off grizzly bear. He got up and grabbed Connie's arm pulling her out of the bar. He walked her over to his car. She could see why he loved it. It was the shiniest black finish she'd ever seen. More polished than most limousines. Everything on the car that wasn't black was the shiniest chrome she'd ever seen. Even the interior was all black leather or chrome. When he started the engine the car vibrated. The next things she heard was the sound of the tires screaming as they tried to grip the road. Suddenly they were propelled forward at an alarming rate. The cool night air coming through the window eased Connie's apprehension a tad. Now, she thought, if he'd only slow down. In less than ten minutes they were in front of a lake. He parked at least a foot away from the concrete parking bars. He explained to her that he was worried about how low his chin spoiler was to the ground. "Now where were we?" he asked. "Oh yeah, you were talking about Hell. You were talking about the Hell that Cheryl went through." Connie nodded and got out of the car. She led him over to a bench just in front of the softly rolling waves. In the light of the moon, it would have been really romantic under other circumstances. "Do you think the Hell that she went through compares to loving a woman so much that you wanted to be a part of her. That you loved her so much you changed the plans for your life to include her in it. Cheryl was my entire world. Everything I did was always for us. I always put her first, no matter what. I knew immediately when she fucked that first guy. Even days later, I waited for her to tell me about it. I knew it had to be a mistake or she was drunk or taken advantage of. I tried to put it out of my mind but I started to wonder if there'd been others." "So I did the cliché thing, I had her followed. It felt awful like I didn't trust her, but I had to know. She was my life after all. I'd already decided not to say anything about the first guy because I didn't want to lose her. I just forgot all about my pride and decided to just let it go because I'd rather have Cheryl than my pride. When the detective told me about the second guy, it made me sick, I actually went home and slept in the guest room, because I couldn't face her. I also just stopped having sex with her. I felt like I was dying inside. I couldn't figure out why? What had I done wrong? Why didn't she love me anymore?" "Then when I got the call from the detective about the third guy, I knew I had to confront her. I intended to just wait until they were done and just quietly leave. But the things they were saying just hurt me so badly that I had to do something. I just wanted her to know that I was still there and she'd hurt me so badly. I guess at that point I thought that maybe down deep she still cared about me as a person, maybe as a friend even though she could never have loved me the way I loved her and done that." "So I made the biggest mistake of my life. As I walked in the door they were so busy concentrating on each other that they didn't even notice me. Some big asshole had my wife bent over on the bed and he was pounding her from behind. And she wasn't fighting him at all. She was just letting him do it. Any thoughts in my head that maybe he was forcing himself on her went out the window. I couldn't move I was just frozen there. It felt like my soul was torn out with every thrust." "I'm sure that women feel differently about this and I've tried to be modern about the whole thing but I can't. Men are hardwired to believe that our mates belong to us. And more than that this was the woman I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. Since we got together I foolishly believed that we loved each other and belonged only to each other. My greatest dream was that we'd have kids together and grow old together. Do you know the pain of hearing some asshole tell your wife that she was just his little slut? Do you know what it's like to have him ask her if she wants him to knock her up?" "I almost died when I heard that. My heart was beating so loudly that I was sure they could hear it. Then she hurt me again even worse. I expected, I hoped, I prayed that she'd say no. That she'd remember that was something reserved for her husband even though her body wasn't anymore and maybe had never been. But I heard her say very clearly, "Oh yeah, that's what I want." "Then I could tell by the way the muscles in his ass clenched that he was pumping his sperm into her. Something inside of me just died then. I don't think I'll ever get it back. Maybe it was my ability to love or to trust or my innocence, but whatever it was, it's gone. I'm a different person now. I just don't have the capacity to care anymore. The only thing I value, period is that car behind us. So I just started clapping for them like I'd seen a great porno movie performed right in front of me. Cheryl became just another whore, and I had no use for whores." "I warned that guy not to say a word, but he just had to start talking. He made me hurt him. I'd been just trying to be modern and mature about the whole thing. I'd made up my mind to just grab some clothes and walk away. After all, Cheryl didn't really belong to me. It was her body and she could share it with anyone she wanted to. The only reason that one person devotes themselves to another is because they love them. I guess it was hard on me realizing that I'd devoted my life to a person who didn't feel the same way about me. So I hurt him. Then I took one look at her and just realized that I never wanted to see her again. So I looked at her trying to make myself hate her even more and I left. I didn't want my clothes or anything I just needed to get away from her. She was poison to me." "I found a job in a nearby state and started my life all over again. None of my friends will speak to her. I've been very clear if anyone of them lets her know anything about me they are no longer my friend. The only one I gave any slack to was my mom. I knew that my mom was getting older and she was lonely so, I let her have contact with Cheryl, but I warned her. If she ever let Cheryl know anything about where I was, I'd cut off contact with her as well. I transferred back here because my mom's health is failing. It's a city that's big enough for both of us. I've been back for over a month and only ran into her once. I'll never go to that bar again, she can have it. I don't date so we won't run into each other. Everything will be fine." "I truly don't care what she does, or who with. She can't hurt me any more than she already has. So please don't give me anymore of that Bullshit about the Hell she went through. At least she had a choice. She caused it." Connie noticed that he seemed to be calmer then. "I'll take you back to the bar now," he said. "Sit down," she told him. She pulled him back down onto the bench beside her. "She doesn't date. She doesn't do anything. She talks on the phone with your mom and visits her once or twice a week. She's dying over what she did to your marriage, and so are you. Isn't there any chance that you could forgive her?" asked Connie. Rob didn't say anything. A breeze caused Connie to shiver but she wasn't ready to leave yet. Rob had on a shirt and a sweater. He took the sweater off and wrapped it around Connie. The gesture surprised her.