151 comments/ 158626 views/ 24 favorites Hildy Ch. 01 By: the Troubador Hildy Part 1 husband's trial Our troubles started at the wedding reception, but I didn't know it then. My wife Hildy and I were in the wedding party and we both had a whole lot too much Champaign. So as mad as she was, she knew she was polluted and kept it inside before she said something she didn't really mean. That turned out to be a very bad thing, because she slept on it. And she woke up with a hell of a hangover; the kind that clouds your mind, keeps you from thinking clearly though you don't recognize it. The wedding was Bob and Beverly's. They were the second pair of our college clique to get married, Hildy and I being the first. We had been married two years ago, the June we graduated, and now Bob and Beverly were joining us with a June wedding. In college there were a couple dozen of us hanging together, boys and girls. Over the years it was just natural for the group to split up into couples. Some of the gang had wandered away, moved for a job, got interested in other things; but there were still eleven of us left that partied together. Sometimes we even took our vacations together. The eleventh, the odd man out so to speak, was Jonas. Jonas was a big, loud-mouthed guy with a wicked and really offbeat sense of humor. Jonas didn't cause my trouble, but he nurtured it. He profited from it, but god damn it I saw to it that he eventually shared the pain. Long term, I like to think his share of pain was far greater than ours. Some might say he got off easy, but what he lost went to his whole way of life. At the wedding reception a bunch of the women were whooping it up in the ladies room. Which is something I've never understood, having a major gab session in the john. But my buddies sure were. We could hear them over the band. Anyway, one of the gals mentioned that the bachelor party the night before had gotten out of hand. She'd heard a woman had been hired to be the entertainment, and had been very entertaining indeed. According to her, the groom had held out, refusing to trade juices with her, so to speak. But she claimed the rest at the party hadn't been so careful. Since I was one of the ushers I was at the party, would have been there in any case, these were my best friends. My wife's math is too good to miss the implication that I had sampled the woman's favors. Now the story had some truth to it. There was a woman there and she tried her damndest to get the groom into the sack. Bob had to fight her off to keep from getting a blowjob. I understood there was a bonus in it for her if she did. She was a whole lot more successful with the rest of the party and she was "tipped" pretty heavily by the guys she serviced. Not every one else took her up on her offer. Me, I stayed in the background and managed not even to be solicited. There were several others too, but all the empty liquor bottles obscured our vision and I couldn't tell you who had and hadn't accepted, except for the groom and myself. I was positive about those two. Hildy quietly asked around and those who had been at the bachelor party confirmed the woman's presence, and her activities. No one could tell her I had succumbed, but then none of them were willing to confirm that I had stayed celibate, either. As I said, I stayed in the background and I doubt if any of them really knew. Except Jonas. If she had been sober I like to believe she wouldn't have let her personal insecurity fuel jealousy and an almost blind rage. Except for Jonas. Jonas got very drunk at the reception, and for some reason his twisted sense of humor thought it would be fun to get the old married couple to fight at the wedding. He told her he was pretty sure I was one of those that went into the back bedroom with the woman. He planned to yell April Fool before the fight got out of hand. Except he was disappointed. Hildy didn't blow up at the party. She kept it inside and brooded and stewed about it all night long. I like to think that if she had been sober she wouldn't have allowed her own personal insecurities to fuel a blind jealousy and towering rage. But it did; the worst kind, cold, silent and unthinking. Instead of taking the issue openly to me she was thinking up ways to get even the next morning while she nursed her Champaign hangover and brooded over my supposed infidelity as her head burst and her stomach heaved. Sometime about mid-afternoon the next day I had finally almost returned to the living. Enough anyway to recognize Hildy's remoteness. She was always one of the most effervescent women I had ever met, and to see her quiet, sitting in a corner staring at me was unnatural, and kind of unnerving. I jumped to the immediate conclusion that she wasn't feeling well. When I asked her what was wrong she just told me to wait, that we would talk about it later. I think she wanted to get me worried after my lapse from my marriage vows. She expected my conscience to really start bugging me. As I had done nothing wrong, my conscience was very quiet. Since Hildy, accepting the rumor and Jonas' verification as proven truth she jumped to the conclusion I found nothing upsetting about my supposed infidelities. Which got her thinking and she made the conclusion my conscience wasn't bothering me because I was used to such activities. It never occurred to her that her informants were wrong. The first time I knew something was seriously wrong was as we were about to go to bed. Hildy told me to choose which bed to sleep in, the one in the master bedroom or the one in the guest room. They were both made up, she informed me. Not being aware of any problems, I jumped to the conclusion she wanted to have some kind of kinky party. As tired as I was this didn't really excite me, but I was willing to try. After all, she had always been a good sport when I asked her to scratch my itch so it was only fair I fulfill my husbandly duties. I ogled her frame, and asked which one she wanted us to use. She shocked me when she chose the Master bedroom, then put my pajamas in the guestroom and told me I could use the bathroom in the hall in the morning. There I stood with my jaw hanging down as she marched into our bedroom to pick up a shopping bag with my things in it, stood in the door to the guest bedroom and tossed it onto the bed. Then my bride, the woman I was willing to die for, stormed into our bedroom, slammed the door and I heard the click as she locked the door. No amount of pleading or cajoling brought more than a promise to talk in the morning, which was a Sunday. I had never seen her behave like this. After thinking it over I decided I had better find out what was going on before I broke the door down. I wasn't exactly sure she hadn't gone completely over the bend, but she seemed in no danger of harming herself, so I decided to wait for morning. I had a very bad nights sleep and from the looks of Hildy the next morning, she had enjoyed the same. Still, I held my tongue and kept the peace, or what there was of it. After a very tense breakfast and cleaning up we sat down at the kitchen table to talk. After a short silence, with Hildy unwilling to meet my eyes, she told me she knew about my philandering, I hurt my cause badly by snorting in disbelief and making some kind of little joke. She blew up in my face. When I finally understood she was actually accusing me of fooling around I denied it of course. After all, I was innocent. We had kept no secrets from one another in marriage but now she was convinced I was lying to her, perhaps had been for the entire marriage. It took me some time, but finally I understood she would not take my word for it being daytime, unless she could see the sun and had a witness to verify it. Things got hot and heavy about then. I was pissed that she refused to take me at my word. She was getting more and more upset that I thought her such a fool that stonewalling would get me out of the soup. Finally she told me the only way she could see to keep us together was to show me how she was feeling after my poking around on her. After warning her not to do anything foolish, I took a lot of deep breaths and calmed myself down. Recognizing our yelling at one another wasn't accomplishing anything I went outside and busied myself with yard chores the rest of the day. When I came in for lunch I found sandwiches on the table, and the same thing at suppertime. I could hear Hildy busy in the house, but she never came into a room I was for the rest of the day. Before I went back to the guestroom that night, I tried talking through our bedroom door again. The only way I knew she was in there was that I heard her quietly crying. She never said a word. Finally giving up, I had my Sunday evening snack in front of the TV, then went to bed early as I was feeling unusually tired. Only natural with the little sleep I'd had the night before, then working very hard in the yard all day long. Particularly as upset as I was with the chasm opening between Hildy and myself. I soon fell into a dreamless sleep. - - - - - - When I woke up it was very strange, my body felt stiff and didn't want to respond to my signals. My arms and legs didn't seem to want to function. And it was so dark I couldn't see. As I began coming awake it felt as if my mouth was full of cotton and was very dry. When I felt my legs cramping up, I tried to move them again and couldn't and started to panic. As I began hyperventilating and started thrashing around, I heard Hildy say, "Well, it took you long enough to wake up. Welcome to the world." Then she took the blindfold off me. I saw I was in the guest bedroom, but now I was fastened to the four corners of a table. I was nude, and the table was propped against the wall underneath the high window. She had sawed the legs off our six-foot long coffee table, then drilled holes through the tabletop. I was tied with my own neckties, at the ankles and just above the knee on both legs, and at the wrist and above the elbow for my arms. It was impossible for me to even throw my body from side to side, which might have helped break me free. The bed was stripped, except for a fitted bottom sheet, and a pile of pillows. Hildy was standing in front of me, wearing the peignoir I bought her for her last Valentines Day. It wasn't quite see through, but a woman wearing it had no secrets. For instance, I knew at a glance that she wasn't wearing a bra or panties. Her hair was piled high on her head, just like I told her I found most attractive. She had carefully applied her make-up. She looked stunning. "Husband, I told you the only way I could get through this was to show you how I feel when I think of you with that dirty whore." When I tried denying I had been with another woman, I found why my mouth felt like it was full of cotton. It was. Hildy had stuffed my mouth with one of my t-shirts. The way she was behaving, I wasn't sure it was even a clean one. It was at that point I began wondering if she had gone completely over the bend. "I see you found out you can't talk your way out of this one. Well husband, I wondered who I could get to help me show you how it feels, and decided it would be best to ask one of your friends to help me. Jonas seems a little uneasy with this, and today he says he isn't sure you were fucking that whore, but when the truth and liquor were in him, he told me you were. Anyway, he agreed to help me." Hildy stalked out of the room, and I heard the high heels of her slippers clip-clip down the hall. She returned in a moment with Jonas behind her. He had one of the biggest shit eating grins on his face I ever saw. It was then that I remembered he had always had a thing for Hildy. "Hey, old buddy," he said, "I'm sorry about this, but for Hildy's sake I figure it would be best if a friend helped her out." Here he put an arm around her and gave her a squeeze, as the two of them stood side by side looking me over. Hildy glowered as she snuggled up under his arm. My angry wife put an arm around Jonas waist, which caused the peignoir to open slightly, which made me see she had neglected to put on the gown that matched the peignoir. When she turned slightly and reached her mouth up to kiss him, the peignoir slipped further, and one delectable breast was bared to view. But not for long... As the kiss heated up, and I could plainly see their mouths working together as their tongues dueled, Jonas hand came up to cup that bared breast. I shut my eyes as he began kneading and stroking my wife's tit. I was making little indiscernible noises as I tried screaming at them to stop. I doubt they could hear even a whimper from where they stood across the room. When I opened my eyes again the peignoir was on the floor and Hildy was unbuttoning her new lover's shirt. That was when I began to cry. Before now I didn't think Hildy had ever had another lover. I always considered any lovers before me unimportant anyway, but I was positive she had never had one after she met me. When our eyes had met that first time, a bond was made and neither of us had the urge to stray from the other after that. How could she believe that I had done so now? As she knelt at his feet to draw down his slacks and jockey shorts I began trying to break out of my bonds. For a moment I thought I had almost freed one leg, but the tie had only slipped a little, not enough to do any good, probably just made the knot tighter. As I continued to yank and pull I discovered the ties would slip because of my efforts but they had broken the skin and blood was soaking the bands around my ankles and wrists. Through a red haze I watched my woman turn Jonas so that he was sidewise to me. She looked down at his meat and exclaimed, "Oh, Jonas, what a very, very large cock! It looks so good! Can I taste it?" It was the biggest cock I had ever seen. Jonas stuttered slightly as he looked at me out of the corner of his eye, "O-o-of course. It would feel so good between your lips." Then turning her head so that she could see my face from where she knelt, she pulled his very large cock down to her lips. While looking into my eyes, she slowly sucked his length into her mouth. Crying soundlessly I watched as she worked and worked to pull his entire impressive length into her mouth. Cocksucking was one thing she told me she did not enjoy, and after the first time I had never asked her to do it again. I watched helplessly, tears streaming down my face, screaming soundlessly into my own T-shirt, my blood starting to seep down my wrists, as she taught herself to deep throat another man's cock. All the while, my Hildy was looking deeply into my eyes. It was not a look of love. When the long shaft suddenly disappeared between her lips I saw her throat bulge and her eyes bulge at the same moment. Jonas' hands came down to hold her face nailed hard against his groin. I was watching and understood what I was seeing when the fingers with which she was caressing his balls tightened, but not too much, and the added stimulus toppled Jonas over the edge. His hips began pumping as he emptied his sperm down my Hildy's throat and into her stomach. When he was drained, he stumbled back slightly and the long, long cock popped from between her lips as he let go of her head. Hildy coughed and fell back on her heels, gasping for breath. But she never lost eye contact with me as her tongue came out to clean the long shaft of her saliva. No semen was visible; it had all been deposited directly down her throat. I watched as Jonas reached down and caught his new lover, the woman I had thought loved me, under her arms, picked her up and laid her gently on the bed before me. But when he lay down next to her and began playing with her body, I closed my eyes. When I heard her scream, my eyes popped open again. I saw Hildy was on her back, with her knees draped over Jonas' shoulders and his face was buried in her cleft. Her hands were buried in his hair as she strained to pull his head into her treasure. Her face distorted as she screamed, then screamed again in the throes of ecstasy as she endured wave after wave of orgasm. I sobbed into my gag. For the next hours my life was in danger. True danger, as my sobs and tears flooded my sinus. Not being able to breathe through my mouth, I almost suffocated. The action on the bed continued, but it was a haze to me. Hildy was now lost in her sexual bliss, and no longer thought to keep her eyes on me. No details of the next several hours remain with me, but kaleidoscopic pictures swarmed into my mind at the most inopportune times for months afterwards. It was almost a year before my wife discovered how close she had come to losing me physically. I know I blacked out several times, only to reawaken with the struggle to breathe. Then all I saw were my wife and her lover, my former friend, in another attitude of sexual congress. As I slipped back into consciousness after I don't know how many times, I saw the two of them sleeping in one another's arms. To my relief, I was now dehydrated and my tears had almost dried up. With my sinus clearing breathing became less of a conscious chore. I slowly recovered full awareness as I watched Jonas' hand negligently stroking and playing with my sleeping wife's body. Her groin was dripping with their combined secretions, and her nether lips were a bright red. His cock was a shriveled mess of disgusting juices, and looked like it had been sanded. As I watched, Hildy slowly came awake. I saw her confusion as she opened her eyes to a strange room, and her sudden panic when she didn't recognize the man beside her; the man whose hand at that moment was pulling on her pubic hair. Then realization returned, and I saw first disgust, then anger and lastly confusion cross her face. Finally she turned her head to see me, still bound securely to the tabletop. My eyes were still leaking tears, now only a trickle. Grimacing, she stared at me. I was relieved to see the hatred was gone, now replaced by a deep sadness and determination. Gathering herself, she sat up, still looking at me, then turned her head to bury her face in the disgusting mess that was Jonas' groin. Her even coming near the slime surprised me, it was something I would never have allowed her to do for me. But she sucked his shriveled manhood into her mouth and tried to suck it back erect. It was obviously a lost cause, but she gave it a valiant effort. Jonas had to forcibly pull her face out of his lap. The poor little worm she left behind looked sorrier than before she began her attempted resurrection. Finally, she slid off the bed, itself a disgusting mess, and taking Jonas hand lead him out of the room. In a moment I heard the shower running. I waited, having no choice bound to the table as I was, until they returned now looking freshly scrubbed but still barely rejuvenated. Hildy had slipped on her regular robe, for which I was thankful. Her body was covered with hickeys and had some bruises. It was something I didn't want to face. With Jonas watching as he slowly began dressing, Hildy walked over and stood in front of me, surveying my naked, bound body. "Ooh, the little bitsy thing looks lonely!" she cooed as she knelt in front of me. Pulling my cock from where it was nestled in my curls, she played with it a moment and then popped her mouth around it. She sucked hard but could not bring it to life. I had never felt less like sex in my life. Finally giving up, she stood up, looked me in the eyes and said, "Well, it's just as well, dearest. I was only going to get him good and stiff before letting him enjoy the air." Looking at the clock on the dresser, now showing it was after 4:00AM, she began fumbling at the ties to release me. When she began this, Jonas began to hurry his dressing, looking concerned. Hildy Ch. 01 It took her a moment, maybe longer to realize the reason she couldn't get the knots undone was not just that I had jammed them tight with my struggles. I certainly had done that. But my blood had soaked the ties and when it dried, glued them together. Suddenly looking chagrined and worried, she hurried out and returned with a pair of scissors. She knelt down and tried to slip the small end of the scissors under a tie, but my flesh had swollen around the ties and it was impossible. My wrists were fully numb by now and I couldn't feel her efforts, which was good for she had already further torn my swollen flesh with scissors. She ran out, returning swiftly with my pocketknife. Opening the small blade, she was able to carefully work it under the tie and began slowly to cut off my bonds. She only cut me a little bit as she was doing so, and winced every time she saw new blood flowing. Without noticing her winces I wouldn't have been aware of the cuts. My feet and hands were completely numb and I was idly wondering if I might have permanent trouble after the long restriction of blood to them. It occurred to me that I could lose a hand or foot. As numb as I was both physically and mentally, the possibility didn't seem to matter much. Hildy finally cut my legs free, then my arms before working the T-shirt out of my mouth. It had been soaking up my saliva for the past how many hours and swollen such that she couldn't just pull it out, she had to slice it into pieces first. I gave a great gasp, as I was finally able to fill my lungs with air. She tried to help me stand but when I could get enough air, I was too light headed to control my limbs. They weren't ready to work yet anyway after the long period of immobility; I collapsed on the floor. She told me later, I screamed when I put my feet on the floor but I didn't know it. When I was aware again of what was happening around me, Hildy was kneeling over me, crying and trying to help me up. I pushed her away, almost screaming at using my arms. In a few minutes the pain and lightheadedness subsided and I staggered to my feet. Jonas was just tying his shoes and looking very worried while also very satisfied when I walked over to face him. "Jonas, I've figured out some of your part in this, other than your participation in Hildy's bacchanalia. I am sure somehow you thought that this was a great joke to play on me. At least to begin with," I ground out through the hoarseness my attempted screaming had left me with. Here I lowered my voice almost to a coarse whisper, "If I ever so much as see you again, Jonas, I will put you in the hospital. I will put you in the hospital every time I see you. You may take that as a solemn promise." I paused, and then continued; "I won't say anything about you and Hildy. That's between the two of you, now." When I said that, Hildy's breath caught in her throat. "But it doesn't matter, I will put you in the hospital any time I see you. If I see you near Hildy, it will just be a longer stay in the hospital. Now get out of my house. Don't ever let me see you again." "Hey, bro! You don't mean that! Come on, I did this for Hildy and you. Now you two can get past your screwing around," he whined. "You know better than that, Jonas. Now get out." Jonas was a big man, but he never questioned my intent and ability to harm him. Without another word he turned and walked out the door. That was the last time I laid eyes on him. Hildy turned to me after he left, "Now we have to talk, I think I can get beyond what you did now." Without a word I began dressing, staggering about as I took care not to touch the badly fouled bed. Picking my wallet and keys up off the dresser where I had left them when I went to bed the night before, I checked to see how much money I was carrying. Then I limped and staggered to the front door with Hildy right behind me. Getting to the door, I picked up my coat and turned to her while working it painfully over my arms, "Hildy, I am very glad you can now live with me doing something I never did." After a moment, Hildy whispered, "What?" "I told you, Hildy, that I did not cheat on you. I didn't lie to you." Her eyes got huge and she gasped, "But, but I heard..." "A marriage is built on trust, Hildy, and you took a drunken rumor being passed around to titillate the guests at a party as the truth instead of what I was telling you. I don't know how many men went with that woman at the bachelor party. I'm only sure that Bob never did and that I never did. Some did, I have no idea how many or who." With my coat finally on I looked her in the eye, carefully not touching her. She was starting to cry now. "The only one who cheated on our marriage was you, Hildy. All night long, being sure I was watching. I can almost understand why you did it. I can't forgive you for that, not now. And I can't forgive you for adamantly refusing to believe I was telling you the truth. You weren't even willing to listen to me. Maybe I can get by this sometime in the future. I don't know. I have to think, and this house is not the place for me to have a rational thought at the moment." I looked around the living room, then stared down the hall, "I think you can understand why." Just before I shut the door on my way out, I told her, "Hildy, I'll stay at a motel tonight. Tomorrow I'll have to decide what I am going to do for the next few days. I may want to save this marriage, but it will take some time. I have to think. We had so much going for us, or I thought we did." Then I left, wincing with pain at every step I took. The next Saturday I moved back home, but put my things into the third bedroom when I did so. To my surprise, Hildy was walking a little gingerly. It was a long time before I asked her why and I'm ashamed of myself for being so unfeeling. She told me Jonas had been so rough in his sex making, and so large that he had damaged her. She had gone to her doctor for treatment. For the next several weeks the only words I said to my wife were those necessary to operate the house. She still talked to me, I just didn't answer. Not usually, anyway. When she asked, finally, when we could make love again I told her I was trying to forget her telling Jonas how much better a lover he was then me. And until I could get some of the images of her and Jonas out of my head, it wouldn't be possible. She began dressing while around the house to show off her figure, and was successful. She was trying to interest me but every time I looked at her sexy body and got hard a picture of she and Jonas together flashed through my head and my soldier went back to sleep. Eventually I was able to accept she still cared for me. After all, it wasn't easy living with me under those conditions. It was a full six months before we were talking to one another normally. And another several months before I could bring myself to cuddle with her on the couch. That of course led not soon after to our coupling on that same couch. Before I moved back Hildy had friends help her take the furniture in that bedroom down to Goodwill. I didn't have to look at it again. My reaction to that bed was no worse than Hildy's after she understood what had happened; what she had done, how she had misunderstood. For a while we used the room as storage; neither one of us could face sleeping in it. Eventually we put some exercise equipment there, and called it the gym. Both of us carefully stayed away from any innuendo on the name, in fact we never mentioned the room at all unless necessary. Hildy and I are still together, and I'm sure our marriage has re-righted itself. It certainly isn't the same. We both are aware of dark places in our souls we had never known before. Hildy can hardly believe she was capable of the bitterness and vengefulness she had turned on me. For me, as much as I loved and do still love her, I don't understand how I could have held on to my anger so long. We are talking of having a kid pretty soon and are both looking forward to it. We'll probably sell this house and move to another area before we do. There are some really bad memories here and we may need to use all the rooms if we have as many kids as we are talking about. There is no question that I would not allow my son, even worse my daughter, to use the gymnasium. One of our friends took me aside over a year later to tell me Jonas had called him asking to know if I still was holding a grudge; asking him to feel me out. It took just a minute for me to think it over. I asked him to tell Jonas I couldn't tell what my reaction would be if I saw him again but it wouldn't be in our best interests to find out. I don't expect to hear from Jonas again. Hildy told me a couple of weeks ago when we were both feeling mellow that the thing you hear about a man's size on the internet is a bunch of crap. Jonas was big, but he was really a poor lover. His size only contributed to the pain she felt with his rough handling. All the things she had said while using him had been aimed at spurring him on and teaching me how she felt when she had supposed I had been untrue. Of course, once she understood I had never cheated on her, she knew only too well how I felt while bound to that table. She loved me even more for accepting what had happened. After what she had put me through, and I had stayed, she knew no one could ever love a woman more than I did her. It is good being able to talk about what happened. Hildy Ch. 02 Chapter 02: She Thought It Was Revenge Even now, I can't help it. I have to fight the tears whenever I think about what I did, and what it almost cost. I really loved him, and knew he loved me; I just knew it. That's why it hurt so much when Jonas told me Brian had been unfaithful to me. We met in college as part of a group. A group of friends taking their first step to conquer the world. And Brian and I, gradually we fell in love. Despite the fact that some of our friends, as part of the 'experimentation' of college, were jumping from bed to bed, while claiming to be going with one person, we only wanted each other and stayed that way. While Brian wasn't my first and I wasn't his, we new we were meant for each other. For one thing, our sex life was great. We both desired to please the other. Each of us occasionally took pleasure in devoting extended periods to pleasuring the other orally, by hand and even with toys. Sometimes even postponing our own physical pleasure for the emotional high we received pleasuring the other. It more than made up for any delay in our own release, in fact intensifying it when it arrived. In addition it seemed like we were always attuned to each other. Friends and family alike told us we seemed to be the perfect couple, as perfect as one could be. After we graduated our bond got stronger until we finally married. During our time together prior to our marriage, we had talked about the importance of fidelity, how it impacted trust and respect and we solemnly assured one another that we would always be faithful. We strove to ensure that sex, such an important part of our relationship and marriage, didn't just become habit. We would role play and act out our fantasies with each other. That's why when it happened, I couldn't believe it; not at first. We had been the first of our college group to get married, Bob and Beverly were the second. It was at their wedding when the bomb burst. I was in the washroom with some of the other girls, still all single though paired with a nice guy, when one of them started talking about the bachelor party the night before. I think it was Shirley and we were all feeling more than tiddly after all the champagne and booze. Apparently their had been a stripper, which wasn't a surprise. Knowing the guys it would have surprised us if there weren't. What I heard next caused me a great deal of concern. Apparently after her performance she physically entertained many of the guests, either with blow jobs or in some cases by doing the dirty with them, taking them into a back room.. Had my Brian been unfaithful to me? At first I couldn't believe he could have, but I had to find out. So I started asking some of those who had been there, nobody at first would admit that he had participated, but then nobody told me to relax, either, that he had kept it in his pants. I was so upset I started asking the guys about it and of course none of them claimed to have any knowledge of anyone having sex at the party. I was fuming, what else could I expect from a bunch of guys. But then I talked to Jonas, and he told me that, yes, my husband had gone in the back room where the action occurred, and to his knowledge, all who went back there, 'had their fun.' I was devastated, I wanted to confront him, but knew I couldn't in front of everybody. Instead I got madder and madder, as I drank more and more. When we got home Brian had to help me inside. I wouldn't talk to him, just went to bed. Despite what I had had to drink, it was hard to sleep. I couldn't believe how he could profess all these years how important fidelity was, how he would never be unfaithful to me. Yet he then he had, with a stripper no less, and now he was trying to act as though nothing had happened. The next morning I woke up fighting horrible pain from drinking too much, and facing the awful truth. I could hardly think I hurt so much, but still wrestled with the choices I faced; do I confront him, and leave his cheating ass, or do I somehow get even, letting him see how much he had hurt me. Finally, I decided I still loved him, but unless he confessed without my prompting him, then I would have to get even. I thought that once this occurred and he felt what I felt, we may be able to move on. But I knew that without making him feel the hurt I felt, then I would not be able to carry on, for the equal footing that was a key to our love would be lost. All that day I hoped he would confess, but that bastard went on as though nothing had happened. Did love, trust and faithfulness mean so little to Brian? Finally that night I told him to go sleep in one of the other rooms. Can you believe it, he thought I wanted to act out one of my fantasies! I didn't say word, just went back to our bedroom and locked the door behind me after throwing his pillow into the hall. That got his attention, he started on, "Hildy, what's the matter, lets talk, why are you so upset?" Like the cheating bastard didn't know. When we got up the next morning, he kept at me for an explanation. Finally I told him, "Listen, I know what went on at the bachelor party and I know what you did. How could you do that to us?" Even then he denied it. I guess he thought that if he pretended it didn't happen, I would believe him. Huh, I guess he didn't know me as well as I thought he did. Well, our talk got pretty heated, but still he didn't see how he had hurt me. Finally I told him, "The only way we would be able to keep together was if I showed him how much he had hurt me." Then I turned and stomped away, leaving him standing there trying to look perplexed and innocent. Finally things quieted down, though he still wouldn't admit it or try and apologize for what he had done. He left the house to do yard work and we kept out of each other's way. Don't get me wrong, while I thought we had a great relationship, it wasn't perfect, we had had our disagreements, but never like this. This time we were going out of our way to avoid each other. What had happened was cut too close to the core of our love. As I sat in the house, I knew I had to do it, I had to get him to feel my hurt, and how much it meant to me, if we were to survive. The only way to do that would be to be unfaithful to him. After that, he would see what he had done, and then we could try and work things out. Now I knew that I just couldn't go out and have an affair, and then tell him about it, or hope he found out. He wouldn't believe me. No, I had to force him to see it, and believe it, to personally feel the pain that he had caused me. Even in my anger and hurt I should have realized that this was pushing the envelope, but I was lost in my feelings. After considering various ways, it hit me, Jonas! I would get Jonas involved, after all he was the only one who confirmed Brian's involvement at the bachelor party, and I knew he had always been attracted to me. I called Jonas and told him that I wanted to meet him for coffee, as I had something important to discuss. We met late that afternoon, while my husband was keeping himself busy and out of my way. At first Jonas tried to back away from confirming my husband's infidelity, but once I outlined the plan, including having sex with him, he reluctantly confirmed it and agreed to help me. With his agreement in hand, I set things in motion. Through a friend of Jonas's, we obtained something to put Brian into a deep sleep, which I snuck into his pre bed snack. After he fell asleep, I got things ready with Jonas helping me. We took the legs off an old table and rolled my sleeping husband onto it, tying him to it with some of his neckties. To prevent him from waking the neighbors by screaming, I stuffed an old dirty tee shirt into his mouth. We stood the table up against the wall in the second bedroom, where he had to see the bed and wouldn't be able to turn away. Then I told Jonas to wait downstairs as I went to get ready. I stripped off my clothes and had a shower, knowing it would still be awhile until Brian came out of his drugged sleep. As I stood there, tears were rolling down my cheeks. I knew I really didn't want to be unfaithful, the thought of it was enough to make me sick. Yet I felt that if I didn't go through with this, our marriage would not survive my hurt, which was intensified by his refusal to admit doing anything wrong. Once out of the shower, I sprayed myself with perfume, applied make up and dressed in my sexiest peignoir. Then I went back to the guestroom and waited. Finally, Brian started to stir. "Well, it took you long enough to wake up, Welcome to the world," I told him as I took off his blindfold. As he looked at me I could see his penis stir and stand straight up. "Good!" I thought to myself. "He thinks we are going to play a game. Well, we were, but not the one he expects." "Husband, I told you the only way I could get through your cheating was to show you how I feel when I think of you with that dirty whore." I could see that he was trying to talk but couldn't with the tee shirt stuffed in his mouth, so I told him "I see you found out that you can't talk your way out of this one. Well husband, I wondered who I could get to help me show you how it feels, and decided it would be best if it was one of your friends. Jonas seems a little uneasy with this and today he's claiming he wasn't sure you were fucking that whore, but when the truth and liquor were in him he told me you were." And with that I walked out and called Jonas up to the room, to his credit he went up to him and apologized but told him that he thought it best if a friend helped me out. Then he turned to me and I kissed him, harder and harder, trying to make it as hot as I could. It was surprisingly hard. Jonas really wasn't much of a kisser. I gave him a lesson in how to guess a woman in heat. Even that wasn't easy, because I wasn't really turned on. But I was sure going to make Brian think I was! Soon I felt Jonas' hand caressing my bare breast under the peignoir.. Even though I was bothered by the fact that it wasn't my husband's hand, knowing he had to watch and knowing he had to feel the hurt pushed me on. I took a deep breath before I knelt down before Jonas, undoing his pants and pulling them down to his ankles along with his shorts. As I rubbed my hand along his hard cock, I turned him so my husband could see what I was doing. "Oh, Jonas, what a very, very large cock. Can I taste it?" I turned my eyes to look at my husband as Jonas was telling me how good that felt, then I leaned forward and took the big purple plum of his cockhead into my mouth. As I did, I couldn't keep the guilt from shaking my body, I shouldn't be doing this. I only wanted my husband, but I had to do this if I was to have my husband, to preserve our marriage. I thought I saw tears in Brian's eyes as I moved my mouth up and down the length of Jonas's cock, pulling it into my mouth but not yet deep throating him. While neither of us had discussed our previous lovers Brian always told me I sucked cock like nobody else. From Jonas's reaction, I knew he enjoyed it to and I intended to give him one of my best. Even this was hard, as he didn't taste all that good, not like Brian.. I hoped that as Brian watched, looking into my eyes while I did this, he would understand what I was doing wasn't an act of love or affection for Jonas. I wanted to be sure he could see my sorrow. Still, I was giving it my best. Suddenly Jonas reached down and pulled me closer, driving his shaft deep into my throat. I had been hoping to avoid deep throating him, it was done now so I reached out to squeeze his balls as he erupted into my throat, I reacted by swallowing every drop, despite the fact I was almost choking. Unlike the many times that Brian and I did it, this time I didn't derive any pleasure from it. The act of doing it hurt me too, but hopefully not as much as my cheating husband. As Jonas pulled out of my mouth, I kept eye contact with my husband, making sure he was watching as I reached out with my tongue and cleaned off Jonas's cock. I made certain to swallow all of his spunk. Despite my empty feeling, I didn't object when Jonas picked me up and laid me on the bed. He started caressing me, running his hands over my breasts, then taking my nipples into his mouth while he reached down and started playing with my pussy. He was a more aggressive than I liked, but when he started playing with my clit I couldn't help myself and started to respond. As he knelt down between my spread legs to start to tonguing my pussy, I looked over at Brian, and saw he had closed his eyes so he didn't have to watch. Well, I couldn't have that! So I screamed out, pretending passion, forcing him to open his eyes and watch, thinking that I was enjoying it much more than I really was, Making him listen as I was telling Jonas how good he was. As I stared up at Jonas, I forced myself to forget who I was with and found myself enjoying it. Eventually I reached a mild orgasm, though I overacted as to the intensity, in part to get back at Brian, and in part to repay Jonas for helping me out with my plan. After a short rest, Jonas was ready again, partly because I was playing with his cock. As he was hard I let him enter me. By this time I knew that my husband could only focus so much, so I ignored him and tried to enjoy the fucking that I was receiving. It wasn't all that bad, if I had been out to enjoy myself. Still, compared to what Brian and I did it was pretty mediocre. Despite that, I kept moaning and shouting encouragement at Jonas, telling how good he was. The worst part was the way Jonas pounded into me. I knew I would have bruises tomorrow, on the insides of my thighs, on and maybe even inside my pussy. He was very rough. This went on for some time and for a time we actually fell asleep together. I know much of it must have became a blur to Brian, it sure did to me. Through the hurt and the guilt I felt as I fucked with our friend while my husband was forced to watch. Finally I woke up, feeling very sore between my legs and reached out to hold my husband only to realize the man with me wasn't my husband. Now that it was over, I felt disgust for what I had done, as much as I felt it was needed. I looked over in sadness for the first time, rather than the hurt or anger I earlier felt, at my husband tied up to the table standing against the wall His eyes seemed to be half open, which I took to mean he was watching while trying not to watch. Had I gone too far? No, I wanted one last shot at making him feel the hurt I had felt, so I leaned over and took Jonas's cock into my mouth, my half hearted efforts at making it stand had no result. So I suggested that it was enough, and led him into our bathroom to shower, letting him go first. Once I had sluiced the muck and slime from my body I put on my regular robe, belting it tightly around myself, and went with Jonas back into the guest room. I don't know why, perhaps the desire to give him some relief, but I approached my husband and bent over before his shrunken cock, saying "Ooh, that little bittsy thing looks lonely." With that I reached out and started to rub it, but didn't receive any response. Feeling a little guilty, I tried to suck it into my mouth, but still it didn't react. Feeling a little hurt that I couldn't get him to respond, I told him "Well its just as well, dearest, I was only going to get him good and stiff and let him enjoy the air." I looked around and Jonas was getting dressed, so I though it fair to release my captive. But as I tried the knots they wouldn't loosen. It was then, as I looked more closely I could see that as he had struggled the ties had been embedded deep into his skin, breaking the skin, The wounds looked really nasty. For a moment I wondered in disgust why he hadn't told me he was in pain. Then I realized I had gagged him thoroughly and he was unable to communicate in any way. He had bled into the ties, the dried blood tightening the knots making it impossible to untie them. As I looked up, I realized what I had done, and that he was physically hurting, not just emotionally as had been my intent. As I struggled to undue the knots, my feelings intensified, "What had I done?" I ran out to get some scissors to help, but the flesh swollen around the ties prevented me from getting under them to cut them. Feeling more and more panicked, I ran to get a pocketknife, and using the small blade was slowly able to cut the ties. I had cut the ties from around his legs, and then his arms, before realizing that the tee shirt was still in his mouth. It wasn't until that moment I became aware he was having trouble breathing. In a panic I began yanking at the wadded dirty T-shirt. To my horror I couldn't at first pull the cloth out of his mouth. All the saliva his mouth had been sending to wet his dry mouth had been absorbed by the cloth which had then swollen until it more than filled his oral cavity. I had to pull short pieces out, cut them off, then pull more out. It was a lengthy process. As I finally pulled it out I almost cried as I could see and hear him gasping for air. All the time I was doing this I was giving thanks he had not vomited, which would have completely blocked his nasal passages. As it was, he had been crying and the tears and snot produced by weeping had almost completely closed his air passages. He had been smothering to death just feet from me and Jonas as I fucked and sucked him. I wondered if he was even aware I had at least refused Jonas my ass. It was something Brian and I had never done. Brian had no real interest in trying it, and I had been afraid of the pain. I certainly wasn't letting another man use me in a way I had not allowed my husband. "What have I done, what have I done" I kept asking myself as I worked, fear replacing the hurt, anger and sadness that had filled me earlier. I tried to help him stand but he screamed and fell to the floor, his legs too cramped and his ankles too swollen and wounded to hold him. The sound of that scream is something I'll never forget. By now I was crying, I hadn't meant to hurt him this way. I tried again to help him stand but as I did he roughly pushed me out of the way with his elbows, his wrists too sore to let his hands be used. It took him a while and a lot of pain, but he finally staggered to his feet. Jonas was struggling, hurrying to get his shoes on, but having some difficulties as he watched us. He wasn't fast enough. Brian got to him, noting the fear in his eyes alongside the sexual satisfaction showing on Jonas's face. In a voice I didn't recognize Brian told him, amongst other things, that if he ever saw him again he would put him in the hospital. Then looking steadily into the bigger man's eyes, speaking slowly as if to a slow child, he said, "If I ever...ever... see you again... near Hildy... it will... be a longer stay. One you might never come home from." As Jonas left I went to my husband, wanting to apologize for some of the extremes I had gone to; but also to let him know we were even. I started to say him "Now we can talk, I think now I can get beyond what you did ..." I meant to say more but the look he gave me shut me up, and I just watched as he got dressed. I followed him to the front door from the room. As he reached it, he turned to look at me and my heart sank at his words. "Hildy, I'm very glad that you can now live with me doing something I never did." "But, but I heard..." I started to gasp, when he cut me off with a glance while slicing his hand down, cutting my words off. "A marriage is built on trust, Hildy, and you took a drunken rumor being passed around to titillate the guests at a party as truth, rather than what I was telling you. I don't know how many men went with that woman at the bachelor party. I'm only sure that Bob never did and that I never did. Some did, I have no idea how many or who" Hildy Ch. 02 As he said this, he did what I had done to him while I was engaged with Jonas, he looked deep into my eyes. I knew then how horribly wrong I had been, and knew that there was nothing I could do at that moment. In any event I had been incapable of saying or doing anything more right then. He went on, driving a sharp knife into me with each word as he said "The only one who cheated on our marriage was you, Hildy. All night long, over and over, being sure that I was watching." I could hear his heartbreak as he said, " I can almost understand why you did it. I can't forgive you for that, not now. I certainly can't forgive you for adamantly refusing to believe the truth as I tried to explain. Maybe I can in the future, I don't know. I have to think, and this house is not the place for me to have rational thoughts at the moment. I think you can understand why" I blindly followed him to the door where he again looked at me, saying "Hildy, I'll stay at a motel tonight. Tomorrow I'll have to decide what I am going to do for the next few days. I'm going to a hospital emergency room right now." He opened the door, then turned to face me on the porch. "I think I may want to save this marriage, but it will take some time." With that he limped out the door, leaving me behind. As the door closed, I just stood there, the shock and horror overwhelming me. Eventually I started to cry, knowing how wrong I had been, knowing how cruel I had been. The realization hit me, even if he had been with that whore, and now I truly knew he hadn't, what I had done was far worse than what I had accused him of doing, a quick meaningless act with a whore. Probably while he was very drunk. That would have been bad, but not like what I had done. No, I had plotted to betray him. I had carefully planned to do it with a friend, in front of him, doing almost everything possible, things that I only ever wanted to do with my husband. At the thought of what I had done, I got physically sick, right there by the door, collapsing with my tears on the floor. Finally I got up and went to our room, though sleep was not about to come. As I replayed what had happened I shook with fear and guilt. The only thing that kept me going then and for the next few days was his comment that he thought he wanted to save the marriage. Without the little bit of hope that gave me, I might have killed myself, for I couldn't stand living with what I had done. I also thought about Jonas, getting angrier as I did so. I had known he had always lusted after me, even before Brian and I started going out. While he may have intended his original comment at the wedding as a joke, once I told him my plan included having sex with him there was no way he would come clean. I constantly showered and douched for the next few days, trying to make myself feel clean, but it wasn't really working. I ripped the sheets off the bed in the guestroom, and took them, and the ties that had bound my husband to the table, and burned them in the fireplace. Somehow I hoped the destruction of those reminders would help me heal. As well, once I looked at myself in the mirror, and saw the marks and bruises all over my body, I realized that part of the pain I felt, as had Brian, was physical. The hard, rough way that Jonas had fucked me, had hurt, and the pain in and around my pussy had not gone away. The reality of it, and the fact that it made me think again of what I had done, started the tears all over again. It also made me realize that it had been unprotected sex, with somebody who was not my husband. This in itself was enough to cause me to throw up again, though there wasn't much inside me, as the guilt of what I had done, and the fear that Brain might not come back, or forgive me, had prevented me from being able to eat. But the desire to be ready in case he came home, drove me to go and see the doctor. I don't know what the doctor thought as he examined me, and tested me, at my request, for STD's. Thankfully, the test results were negative, though I thought to myself, "If Brian doesn't come back, maybe I deserve to get some horrible disease, as a reminder of what I did to him, and to myself." I called a friend and had him take the table to the dump, getting it out of my sight as quickly as possible. At the same time, I called Goodwill to come and take the all the furniture from the guest room for I knew that if I couldn't look at it without remembering, there was no way I would allow Brian to see it again... if he came home. The only communication I had with Brian over the next few days was a short call. All he said was, "I need more time to think", then he hung up on my attempted apologies. Finally on the next Saturday the doorbell rang and it was Brian. He just stood there, watching me cry, then letting me hug him. Finally he said, "Now its time we talk" We sat down, opposite each other, and he told me that he wanted to speak first, "I'm still not sure if I can get over this, but I know how much I loved you, and think that deep down that love is still alive. I'm prepared to give it a chance, but it won't be easy, it will be some time before things can be as they were... if they ever can." As I tried to apologize and tell him that now I knew how wrong I had been, and how sorry and guilty I felt, he told me that he didn't want to discuss it yet, for the wounds, both physical, and emotional, were still too deep. Things did take time, and I often wondered if I had killed our love, or if he could ever get past what I had done, and accept my love again. He slept in the third bedroom, only communicating with me for what was necessary to run the household. If I tried to bring things up, he would turn away. I tried to dress to get his attention, finally asking him if we could make love again. My heart broke anew when he told me that every time he thought of it he could see me with Jonas, hear me telling Jonas how good he was. When he shut his eyes he saw me in the peignoir he had bought me for Valentines Day. The one I had never worn for him, which I only wore for Jonas. Needless to say, it was in the garbage as soon as I left the room. As hard as it was living with him like this, I knew I had to try. I owed him for what I had done to him and that I didn't know if I could ever repay him. I still loved him, there had never been a question of that. I think I did convince him that I hadn't meant the things I had said to Jonas, and weren't true, but only said to drive the knife deeper into him Gradually, things got easier; the meals I prepared, the things I did for him, the way I accepted him pushing me away at times, the way I stayed by his side. These helped him accept that I did love him, and did want to be with him. Eventually he accepted that the love I had shown prior to then, was true, and still existed, only mixed with the guilt and horror of what I had done. One day, he didn't move away when I leaned into him while we were sitting on the couch watching a movie, finally even putting his arm around me as I snuggled in closer. Nothing further happened that night, but the next night when I did the same, he pulled me closer, tilting my head up and kissed me. I almost cried then, in fact a few tears did fall as I returned the kiss. Eventually, over the next week and to my delight the kisses led to more. Until finally they ended with us making love right there on the couch. Yes, it was making love, nobody could call this just fucking. That night he slept with me again for the first time. It still isn't back where it was before, and I don't know if it ever can be. I will always feel guilt over what I did, and still can't understand how I could have doubted him and could have gotten so bent out of shape that I couldn't see what I was doing. At the same time, we are in some ways stronger than we were before. I know that I will never doubt him again, for even the act of coming home and his growing acceptance show me how much he loved me, and loves me. I can only hope that he knows how much I truly love him, and always have. As for Jonas, he did call me the day afterward, He told me he hoped that things were ok, I told him that I held him responsible to a large degree for what had happened, though the final blame for what I did is mine alone. Then I echoed Brian's words to him, adding that if I ever say him again I'd cut his slimy little pecker off with a sharp knife. I know that he contacted Brian through a friend a few months later, hoping things were cooled down. The friend was told to tell Jonas it was best he continue to stay out of our way. He was no longer welcome. We are looking at moving out of this house, and I think that this will continue to help us build our marriage. More importantly, we are planning on having a child, which is something I know we are both eager for. Life will go on, and it will get better. I know I give thanks every day that my husband has accepted my love for him, and acknowledged his love for me, and that we will continue to grow. The only advice that I can give, is that if someone ever tells you that your spouse has cheated, talk to them, don't blindly accept it as truth, and definitely don't get carried away with wanting revenge.