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Forever Gone, Forever You

By: StangStar06



Author's notes: Thanks again to everyone to wrote in or commented on November(my Halloween Story) As I promised in my comment there, this story is a bit different for me. No one flying through the air backwards and upside down with their hair on fire. It's a more emotional simpler story. My esteemed editor suggested that there should be two endings, but a lot of you guys hate that so I wrote one and I'm sticking to it. Of course that means that about half of you will hate the ending, but I'll have something really nice for the BTB people soon. Thanks for reading my stuff and thanks to mikothebaby for editing it. without her this whole story would be one long sentence with about 2000 commas SS06

* * * * * *

My supercharger's whine as it pumped pressurized air into my engine's intake manifold was louder than the rapid thumping of my heart. I was surprised that my heart could even beat in its current condition. It was getting hard to see from the tears pouring out of my eyes. I figured that I should slow down before I rolled the only thing in this world that I could really call my own.

As the needle on my speedometer moved back into the readable zone, I heard the sirens again. I guess I thought the cops would have given up when I passed 140 mph. No such luck. Fuck it, I thought. I pulled over to the side of the road. Let them take me to jail. Maybe some time in the pokey would help me to get away from the nightmare that my life had become.

The cop pulled up beside me. Strangely enough, he didn't pull out his gun, he just came over to the car.

"Jeezus Grant," he spat. "Do you know how fast you were going?"

It was Fred Lively. Fred and I had grown up together. We'd been friends for most of our lives until he became a cop. I wondered how the friendship would fare since today I'd become a notorious speeder. I guess I should make that felonious speeder because in some states, mine included, driving over a hundred and fifty miles an hour on a public road is a felony.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Fred had been at the hospital earlier when I got there. It was hard to believe from the way I felt or looked right now that today had started out as the happiest fucking day of my life so far.

I'd been at the hospital all night after the birth of my third or first daughter, depending on how you wanted to measure it. They'd sent me home last night because I'd been there all day and all night. There'd been complications with the birth. Nothing life threatening or life altering, just a few problems they said. The problems might've been brought about by the fact that my wife Bonnie is over thirty five.

It turned out that Brandy, our baby had an inguinal hernia. It wasn't really serious but it did require surgery. And though surgery on a newborn sounds really scary, it happened more often that people believed. This was especially true now since more babies were being born to older mothers. Older being anything over thirty and my wife was definitely over thirty. 

She's thirty six actually and she's never been the healthiest person I know, but I love her like there's no tomorrow. I got up and dressed for the occasion today in a T-shirt that I'd had made to show my pride. Now when I look down at it, I realized that it just showed my gullibility and stupidity. The shirt was the same bright yellow as my Mustang. It had a giant smiley face on it with the tongue sticking out. Under the smiley face and on the back the shirt read, "My name is daddy."

Since I was kind of a conservative guy, I'd never normally wear anything that bright. Even the color of my car was unusual for me. I'd been looking for a black Mustang when I bought it. But after test driving the car, I just couldn't give it back.

Any way as I sat there in my car crying, I realized that I, not the shirt was the joke. I was the only thing around here for anyone to laugh at.

"I remember when my youngest was born, a few years ago," said Fred. "I realized that I was locked in for at least 18 more years. I had 18 fucking years of paying for everything and putting my-self last. 18 more years of putting my dreams and the things that I want to do second. I went a little bit crazy." He looked at me as if he knew what I was going through. 

"I actually went into a depression and had to see a shrink," he said. "Things between Grace and I weren't the best back then either. I was going through the male version of a post-partum depression. They don't even have a fucking name for it, but a lot of guys get it. I just don't understand you having it though. You've been looking forward to this baby for a long time. You and Bonnie are the two most in love people I've ever come across. I guess it can hit anyone though, can't it?"

I didn't say anything. I just wiped my eyes. It was embarrassing to let another man see me with tears on my face.

"Bonnie is pretty broken up about you leaving the hospital like that," he offered. "Why don't I escort you back there?"

"Fred, I just want to go home and get myself together," I said. "If you'll allow me to, I just want to go home and think. I promise to drive under the speed limit. You can even escort me there if you want."

"No need for that, Grant," he said. "I'll see you later. Drive safely." He put those weird mirror sunglasses that only cops wear back on, got back into his squad car and pulled back into traffic. He turned around and went back in the direction of the hospital. I drove up my driveway and stopped my car. I went into the house I'd shared with Bonnie and our two girls for the past 11 years. I'd been 23 and Bonnie 25 when we moved in.

I've known Bonnie Anne Franklin for 11 years. We were almost total opposites, but we just seemed to fit together perfectly. Even at this moment, I kept waiting for her to come into the house and tell me that everything was going to be fine. But everything wasn't going to be fine. Everything was fucked up. Things were never going to be fine again.

I thought about grabbing a beer and sitting down on my deck, but I'm just not like that. I need movement to think. Sitting down and relaxing was Bonnie's idea of how to think. I could only remain still with her near me.

I went upstairs into the bedroom that until this moment we'd shared. I grabbed a pair of running shorts and changed into them and a t-shirt. Another T-shirt, I threw the yellow one in the trash. I grabbed my iPod and headed out to run the trails behind our house.

* * * * * *

My name is Bonnie Martin and I feel empty. I also feel very lonely and neither of those feelings would make any sense to anyone who saw me right now. My guess would be that the throngs of family, friends and other well-wishers surrounding me right now think that I'm tired or sore from giving birth yesterday. Only my very closest friends and family members think they know why I'm upset.

They are partially correct. They realize that my unhappiness has something to do with the fact that my husband and the love of my life left the hospital unexpectedly. My dad tried to make me feel better by telling me that the birth of a child is a traumatic experience for the father too. He told me that when I was born, he was just overwhelmed and wanted to run out of the hospital and never come back.

My daddy was smiling as he told me that Grant would be back soon, he just needed some time to get himself together. "Grant is pretty tough," said Daddy. "When you were born, I fainted in the delivery room. Grant was there to cut Brandy's umbilical cord. You just watch. He'll be back here at any second."

Brandy, my youngest daughter had been born yesterday. We'd named her Brandy, because it was the perfect combination of both of our names without being one of those weird sounding names they were giving kids these days. 

I had two other daughters, Marie, who was 14 and Tara who was 8. Marie was the result of a previous relationship that I'd had before I met Grant. I'd gone a little bit crazy and ended up pregnant. The guy I was with at the time took off so fast it seemed like time went backwards in his wake.

Marie was three years old when I met Grant, but she couldn't remember a time before he was in our lives. As far as she knew he was her daddy and no one could ever tell her any different. Not that Grant would ever let anyone tell her anything different either. Even when Tara came along there was always a special bond between Grant and Marie. My daughter thought the sun shone out of her daddy's ass.

When Grant and I got married, it was the happiest day of all of our lives. Even the wedding was a special day, not just for Grant and me, but for the three of us. I guess you're imagining a wonderful scene with Marie as the flower girl? Nope, Marie said that she wanted to get married too. So she stood there in front of the preacher with us, holding onto Grant's hand tightly.

When we said our "I do's," there she was yelling, "me too." When Grant gave me the traditional first kiss, before we were done, there she was tugging on Grant's pant leg and asking for her turn.

Grant, to the delight of our friends and family picked her up and gave her a peck on the cheek. I knew then that I loved that man more than anything else on the planet. I mean I knew already that I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. After all that's what a marriage means, right? But at that moment, all of the feelings I'd previously had for him were simply eclipsed. It was as if my heart and soul just opened up and blended with him. Grant might not have been Marie's sperm donor, but he was more her father than anyone else could ever claim.

We had no problems we just settled down into an idyllic life. We didn't argue, we were financially well off, everything was wine and roses. Our sex life and our life in general, have been just great. There were times when I made Grant stay home from work just so we could have more sex. Even up until the point nine months ago when I got pregnant, we had hooky nookie, as we called it, at least once a month. And that was on top of our already robust sex life. 

The only problem we had was that I didn't get pregnant. I wanted to in the worst way. It wasn't just about sex, I wanted to...I needed to feel Grant's seed growing inside of me and making a little being that was the combination of our genes.

When I had Marie, the whole pregnancy was awful. First, I was such a disappointment to my parents. They never expected me to be the daughter who got pregnant without being married. They let me live with them and helped out, but the shame on their faces never went away.

Don't get me wrong, they love all of my girls now but it was me they were disappointed in. So now married to Grant I wanted us to share a child and have that experience together. We went to doctors and found out the awful news. We were both extremely healthy but Grant had a low sperm count. It wouldn't be impossible for me to get pregnant, but it would take a lot of luck.

So we tried for another year or so and then adopted Tara. Tara was only 10 days old when she came home to live with us. Grant and I shared all of the joys and pain of raising another child and he got to see this one from the beginning. That was 8 years ago and I look back on it with fond memories. I love both of my girls and Grant is the air that I breathe, I couldn't live without him. As a gift to him and our family, I still wanted to go through the pregnancy experience again.

I guess I wanted to see life the way it was for those pregnant women on TV. When they lay there in bed and the man they love comes over to rub their stomach and feel their child growing inside of them. I wanted us to go to birthing classes and pick out names together. I wanted to walk around town with my belly just bulging and have everyone who looked at us know that he had put a baby inside of me.

Maybe it was my memory of how bad and how ashamed I'd been during the time I was pregnant with Marie. Maybe it was the fact that with Tara we had shared the experience as I wanted but only the part after she was born. To me, that was only half of what I wanted. Shit I'd have a hundred babies with Grant if he wanted. I'd stay pregnant all the time. Maybe I was just a little bit crazy. In retrospect I now see that I wasn't a little bit crazy I was a lot of bit selfish.

I told my mom that I was tired and wanted to get some sleep. She started shooing people out of the room. After they were gone I reached over to the table beside the bed and felt waves of pain so severe that I almost blacked out.

As I gasped in the pain, my mother came back and slapped my hand.

"Bonnie, don't you want to go home?" she snapped at me. "If you tear your stitches, Brandy may go home before you do. What are you reaching for?"

"My phone," I said. "I need to call Grant."

She didn't say anything, she just handed me the phone. I hit the one key and my blackberry dialed Grant's iPhone. Our phones were set up so they automatically connected. We each had our own ring tone on the other's phone to let us know when we were calling so there was no need to look at the screen. Even if Grant was screening his calls, my ring tone let him know it was me.

The phone rang and on the second ring it went to voice mail. That told me exactly how upset Grant was with me. Under normal circumstances, Grant's phone only went to voicemail after the fourth ring. That meant that Grant had manually shifted my call to voicemail to blow me off. He didn't want to talk to me.

I pretended to talk to him to throw my mother off the track. I didn't want her to know that there was something wrong with us. She watched smiling and when I hung up the phone, kissed me on the forehead and told me to go to sleep.

As she turned and left the room, she looked at me. "Why didn't Grant come back here?" she asked. My mother was part of Grant's fan club too.

"Uhm, he's not feeling well," I said. "And the nurse probably told him that since Brandy had a few complications with her birth, he didn't want to risk making her sick."

"Well that's silly," said my mom.

"Why?" I asked. "I think it's great that he already wants to be careful of his newest daughter."

"Well, remember, Brandy had to have that surgery last night," began my mom. "Grant gave blood. And he told the doctor to make sure that his blood only went to his daughter. If being around him could make her sick, surely her getting his blood could?"

I went into shock at my mother's words. I didn't know how truthful her statement was. I wasn't sure that getting blood from someone with a cold could give you a cold or anything like that. But at that moment I realized that there was a chance that my whole house of cards was about to come tumbling down.

"In fact," continued my mother. "It was after Grant spoke to the doctor again this morning that he went running out of here."

I had to get my mother out of the room before I broke down and started bawling. "Mom, could you send Brenda in on your way out?" I said. "I really need to talk to her about something." My mother just looked puzzled. I'm sure she knew that something was going on but she just nodded her head and walked out of the room.

* * * * * *

I had to be very careful as I ran. In the mental and emotional state I was in, I wasn't really paying very much attention to where I was going or the ground I was running on. Running trails is different from running on a track or on the roads. The surface changes and differs every time you run on it. You have to worry about rain far more. It's not just a case of getting wet; the rain can destabilize your running surface very easily. Anyway, I trucked along at a good pace trying to lose myself and my problems in the music and the run.

I always set my iPod shuffle to shuffle. That way I can just let ITunes fill it up with a random selection of music and it will play the songs at random as well. It's like having a different play list every time I run. My music was as random as the ground I ran over.

Somehow though, especially that day, it made me realize that there are no accidents. Perhaps everything we do has already been planned. Maybe there was a divine consciousness or a supreme being sitting on a cloud up there laughing at me. He or she had probably decided that I'd had enough good luck in my life, so it was time to shit on me.

Somehow in all of that randomness my iPod managed to play the most un-random song in the fucking universe. I listened as Amy Lee, the earthbound Goth goddess of depression sang about my particular relationship. Actually I was sure that Amy Lee had never heard of me but it sure as hell felt that way. Nearly all of Evanescence's songs are dreary but this one seemed to fit my particular depression to a tee.

"I wanted you to be with me, for so long. I don't even know why now," sang Amy Lee over a cacophony of guitars and drums. 

The song, "Forever gone Forever You" hit home all too painfully. From the very first second that I'd met Bonnie, I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But at that moment not only were we over. But I had trouble understanding why I'd ever loved her in the first place.

She'd been the one who doubted us. Perhaps because she'd already been burned once, she just didn't want to even give me a chance.

It took two weeks of constantly bothering her, to get her to go out with me. Two minutes into our first date she tripped, I caught her and we knew that we'd never be apart again. Of course, she claims that she was just playing hard to get. I've often told her that she almost didn't get got. I'd been on the verge of giving up on her and dating someone else.

As I've mentioned before, we were total opposites. I'd been really popular all through high-school and college. I played sports and hung out with a crowd that liked to party. I'd always had a selection of girls to go out with and to have sex with but made it a point not to ever settle down with one girl. I simply wanted to have fun. I wasn't ready or willing to be tied down to a relationship with any one woman. There were simply too many things I'd have to give up if I was tied down.

There'd been lots of girls who thought they were going to trap me. Not one succeeded. They'd all tried it. The cheerleaders, the girls next door, the artists, the hot girls, the models, the titty girls, the booty girls, the nerds, they'd all had their shots. And they'd all failed. I knew that someday, maybe when I was fifty I'd settle down but not much before then. It was like that song in one of those fucking Elvis movies my Grandma used to make me watch with her. "I gotta lotta living to do."

Bonnie, on the other hand, was even more fucked up in the head than I was. Where I was afraid or just unwilling to commit to anything, she never even went to college. She joined a convent right out of high-school to become a nun. She trained and served until she was twenty three or twenty four. Before taking her final vows she decided to take another look at the world outside of the convent. She took a three month leave of absence and rented a small apartment. She met some smooth guy and lost her cherry. She immediately went sex crazy, her words not mine. She became a dick seeking missile over-night. It was as if there was a battle for her soul between God and dicks and in the end, God lost.

After she tired of the first guy, or he tired of her, there was another, then another and one day she woke up and discovered she was pregnant. That was a sobering experience for her. She took a look at her life and just started crying. Her life was nowhere near the way she wanted it to be. That was when she moved back in with her parents. After Marie was born, she took a waitress job to support herself and Marie, then swore off of men for life. That's why it was so hard for me to get her to go out with me. At that point in her life, Bonnie was dedicated to giving Marie the best life she could. She had no room in her life for love, romance and especially not men.


Forever Gone, Forever You



Our first date was not some magical, expensive escapade that cost thousands of dollars. I took her to an early movie and we went to get ice cream afterwards. I think what sealed the deal for me was when she accidentally slipped and I caught her. It caused our faces to come in close proximity and our eyes locked. For me it was magical, I saw my future with her and I knew then that she was the woman that I could commit to. She's often told me similar things. The one I love most sounds really corny, but she said that she saw her kids in my eyes. Yep, kids plural and at the time I had none and she only had the one.

Meeting Marie for the first time was scary. I knew that any future I had with Bonnie depended on Marie. We were supposed to be going to the park for that first date that we took Marie along with us on, but Bonnie still wanted to knock my socks off. Perhaps this is a good point to knock your socks off too.

Bonnie isn't some waif thin supermodel type with five foot long legs. Bonnie is very beautiful but she's a bit on the chunky side. She's not fat or huge, she's just not thin. She has big legs, a big butt and huge boobs. I wouldn't change her for all of the money in the world. I love snuggling up to her big soft hips when we sleep. And waking up with one of her legs draped over me always turns my morning wood to steel.

Anyway, back to the date. I was more nervous about meeting Marie than I was about meeting Bonnie's parents. After Bonnie introduced us, I smiled and the little girl came over me and looked at me.

She burst out in a smile and started talking rapid fire. "Hi my name is Marie. I'm three," she said. It all ran together in one burst of words. She paused and held up four fingers showing me she was three.

"Do you know how to play any games, how about Jacks, I love to play Jacks but I'm not very good at it," she said. I got some of it. I remembered that the girls in my neighborhood used to play jacks but I'd never tried.

I shrugged my shoulders and she started up again. "Okay, don't worry about it, I'll teach you okay?" She ran out of the room quickly.

Bonnie must have heard her footsteps and ran into the living room half dressed. Her blouse was still open and for the first time I got a look at her bra covered boobs. I was frozen to the spot. What snapped me out of it was the look of anger on her face. 

"What did you do to her?" she snapped. "Maybe you should just go. This isn't going to work out." I was so confused that I didn't know what to do. On one hand I hadn't done anything to the little girl. I didn't really like kids but I'd thought that this one was adorable. I actually wanted to be around her.

On the other hand Bonnie's anger was causing her to breathe a lot harder and those heaving breasts were taking their toll on me. I opened the door and got ready to leave. "I'm really sorry you feel that way," I said. "I thought we had something special." 

"I did too," she said.

Suddenly Marie re-appeared carrying a small case. She looked at me, then back to her mother.

"Where are you going?" she asked me. "I thought we were going to play Jacks. I have to teach you how. I had to go and get my jacks. You can't play jacks without jacks."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me back inside the door, then looked at her mother. "Mommy, did you make him go home?"

"No honey, I want him to stay too," said Bonnie. She noticed then that her shirt was unbuttoned and started fastening it. From then on, the three of us were inseparable. And by the three of us I didn't mean me and her boobs.

We got married and a few years later adopted another baby girl. I loved Bonnie more every day and I loved my girls too. I didn't think that my life could possibly get any better until roughly nine months ago when Bonnie told me that she was pregnant. 

The astronauts on the international space station probably heard us screaming that day. Not that we loved our girls any less, but this was something that we both really wanted and thought that we'd have to do without.

I knew already that Bonnie had strong feelings about the way that she thought a pregnancy should go. I was worried that I'd be able to live up to her expectations. For a lot of women their dream romantic fantasy revolves around poetry or a trip to Paris or going out to an elegant affair.

To my Bonnie the most romantic, erotic, sensual thing two people can do is to have a baby together. You hear a lot about the saying that when two people are in love their souls blend when they make love. To Bonnie the ultimate expression of love is having a baby with the man you love. She was into the whole belly rubbing, running out in the middle of the night for pickles and ice cream trip.

Each day she got bigger and happier. She also got hornier if that was even possible. I also had to reassure her that the few pounds she'd gained only made her more attractive to me. I had to develop a kind of radar for exactly what she needed to hear and when she needed to hear it.

As I said, yesterday should have been the happiest moment of my life other than when Bonnie first told me that she loved me or the day she agreed to marry me. But all of the happiness yesterday had brought with silly T-shirts and me handing out bubble gum cigars to everyone I met paled in comparison to the despair I felt when an overworked doctor said those three terrible words.

I had, as has been mentioned, already gotten to the hospital very early after waking up from my two hours of sleep, then taking a quick shower and putting on jeans and my ridiculous T-shirt. When I got to the hospital I asked the doctor if I needed to give any more blood and he told me that they were fine but that if they needed any blood it would be better if it came from her mother or her biological father. "Her biological father," I thought, what the hell was I?

As he saw my reaction the doctor knew that he had fucked up. He apologized several times and knew that he'd just possibly gotten himself a lawsuit. The HIPPA laws are very strict when it comes to patient confidentiality.

Suddenly the room got a lot smaller and I had trouble breathing. I had all of these jumbled thoughts going through my mind. Why wasn't I the baby's biological father? Wait, was I supposed to be? I wasn't Marie's biological dad. I wasn't Tara's biological Dad either. So was I supposed to be Brandy's?

Marie wasn't mine. Tara wasn't mine. Now it turned that Brandy wasn't mine. And obviously when you came right down to it Bonnie, wasn't mine either. She had definitely fucked someone else and she'd known it. After 11 years together, she knew how I felt about her so I was sure she knew what this would do to me.

She probably also knew that that Brandy wasn't mine, so she had also besides cheating on me, set out to purposefully deceive me. None of them were mine. Did I have anything that was? I needed to get out and get some air. I pushed brusquely past a bunch of our friends who wanted to wish me well.

Though it wasn't their fault, I just didn't have the patience to deal with them right then. I just needed to get the fuck out of that room before the walls that were closing in on me, crushed me.

The nurse told me that my wife had just awakened and had asked for me. At the same time several of our friends and Bonnie's sister, Brenda, had seen that stupid fucking shirt and started calling me daddy.

It was like I was trapped in a room full of people calling me daddy, sarcastically and laughing at me. I really wasn't anyone's daddy. I was just a fucking joke. Everywhere I looked, another smiling face calling me daddy. It was like an episode of the twilight zone.

Then the nurse stepped up and in a very insistent voice said, "Daddy, your wife wants to see you right now, very badly. She said she needs a kiss." 

"Hey, you'd better not go," someone said. "That's what started this whole thing in the first place, Daddy."

I think I must've been temporarily nuts, because everything they said seemed to be coming at me in slow motion. Their voices sounded distorted and unnaturally deep and everything they said no matter how innocent, dripped sarcasm.

Daddy, daddy, your wife wants to see you daddy. No more kisses for you, daddy. 

These were my family and friends, but suddenly I hated every God damned one of them. If I could have pushed a button and set off a bomb at that moment, that hospital would be a smoking crater in the middle of the city right now.

"Fuck her," I screamed at the top of my lungs. Everyone in the room stopped and stared at me. Except for the beeping of machines and computers there was abject silence. Then after a few moments someone got over their shock and said, "You already did, that's why we're here."

The next thing I remember was being in the parking starting my car and the sound of my tires shredding as I peeled out of there. Lost in my thoughts, back on the trails I ran faster and faster over the uneven ground with only Amy Lee's depressing wail as my companion.

* * * * * * 

Brenda Franklin walked into the room and stood beside her sister's bed. On the surface the two sisters couldn't have been more different. Beneath the surface the differences were even greater. Brought up with similar values, one would expect the sisters to share similar personalities and values, but they didn't.

Where Bonnie entered the convent in her twenties, Brenda became a model. Bonnie was either voluptuous or chunky depending on how generous you were. Brenda was very svelte as her career dictated.

Bonnie could go shopping and most people wouldn't remember seeing her. Men's head snapped nearly off their necks trying to catch a glimpse of Brenda. 

Bonnie had gone sex crazy after leaving the convent. Brenda had done her experimenting during her college years and looked at sex as just another human body function. She neither avoided it nor went out after it. While she had no scruples against occasionally putting out to get a better assignment, the times that she'd done it were few and far between.

Bonnie loved children and wanted as many as she could have. Brenda had gotten her tubes tied when she turned twenty two. She didn't want to risk her career or her livelihood with an unwanted pregnancy. Her sister's mishap had been extremely telling for her.

Bonnie loved her husband more than she could ever put into words. Brenda had never felt anything resembling what Bonnie talked about. Bonnie was sure that Brenda just needed to meet the right man under the right circumstances. She went out of her way to try and fix her sister up sometimes. Brenda very gently rebuffed her sister's attempts at matchmaking. She knew that when she was ready, the right man would come around.

Brenda looked down at her sister, in the hospital bed. She shook her head. All of that shit about new mothers looking radiant was pure bull. Bonnie looked like hell. Her hair was all over the place. She didn't have any makeup on and she looked like she was about to cry at any moment.

There were a couple of tubes in her; pumping God knows what combination of chemicals in her veins. There was no way that Brenda would ever go through all of that just to bring another mouth to feed into the world.

And Shit, her sister, even after having the baby had to have put on at least twenty pounds. She was really lucky that Grant loved her, because losing all of that weight would take months.

"Hi Sis, you wanted to see me?" she said.

"I need a really big favor," said Bonnie.

"Okay," said Brenda.

"I need you to go over to the house and talk to Grant," began Bonnie.

"But isn't he coming over here anyway?" asked Brenda.

"Bren, I did something really stupid and really bad. I did it for the best reason in the world. I did it for Grant, but I don't think he's going to see it that way," said Bonnie. Her eyes filled with tears and she started crying. She let it out, secure in the knowledge that only her sister would know.

"Okay, shut off the water works. I'll go," said Brenda. Seeing her sister crying made her feel uncomfortable. Brenda wasn't a very emotional woman. "What do you want me to say to him?"

"Just ask him to call me or come to see me," begged Bonnie. "Tell him, I love him and we can get past this. I made a mistake."

Brenda just shook her head and walked out of the room. This was one of the reasons that she'd never bothered trying to sustain any kind of relationship. It was simply too much fucking work. You had weeks and months of misery, just to balance out a few days or minutes of happiness.

* * * * * *

It had been a good run. My girls would go crazy when I told them that I'd seen a deer. I also saw lots of squirrels in a variety of colors, several chipmunks, a raccoon and a skunk that I gave a wide berth. As I dragged my tired ass into the house that surprisingly no longer felt like home, I was tired but it was a good tired. I realized what I'd tried to do unconsciously and had almost succeeded in doing. 

I was trying to run myself into the ground so I'd be too tired to sit down and think about what Bonnie had done to us. Not just what she'd done to me. Her actions had changed our whole family. I had dwelled on the fact that while I was in the hospital I had actually considered Marie, not to be my child.

That was the most insidious part about this whole thing. Most of us in this day and age are enlightened enough that we fool ourselves into thinking things. We all believe that we don't judge either our friends or anyone else by the color of their skin, their nationality or their age. We consider ourselves above all of that bullshit. We believe in our heart of hearts that those things are gone and they're simply remnants of a less enlightened age.

Then in a fit of anger, we scream out the N word or call someone another ethnic slur and we're forced to take an even more serious look at ourselves. At the same time, all of our friends use our outburst to pin a label on us and to at the same time elevate themselves in their own eyes because they are now morally superior to us...until it happens to them.

For the past 11 years, Marie has been my daughter. She has my last name. I couldn't have loved her more if a doctor had pulled her kicking and screaming out of the end of my dick. But in a fit of anger, I had at least in my thoughts either decided or realized that she wasn't mine.

If she isn't, then whose daughter is she? If you added up the hours there is no person on the planet including Bonnie who has spent more time with Marie than I have. I would gladly die for her. Does the amount of time I spend with her make up for the one, two or possibly three drops of sperm that some unknown guy deposited in Bonnie to make her? Does the fact that he's never seen her and probably couldn't pick her out of a group of girls her age if his life depended on it mean anything?

What about Tara? Is she more mine than Marie is because Bonnie and I adopted her together? And the new baby, Brandy. If neither of the others is my biological child, why do I hate her so much already, when only 24 hours ago I was so ready to love her. In fact I did love her for the first brief hours of her life until I discovered that she and I were both the victims of her mother's betrayal.

What about Bonnie? She'd told me about her wild days. Obviously what we had means nothing to her. She probably just got bored and needed more excitement. She decided that she could just get it on the side while I worked my ass off to support her. She fucked up and got pregnant again? No problem, this time she already had a sucker in position to take care of her. 

All of that bullshit about how we finally got lucky and how wonderful and beautiful it was. Just so she could get me to raise someone else's fucking kid. Every day when I dragged my ass off to work, they were probably lying in my bed laughing at me. The biggest question was; what was I going to do about it? I couldn't stay married to Bonnie. Though I loved her with all of my heart, this just couldn't be fixed. 

The worst thing about it was what this would do to my girls. Under the best possible outcome this would tear the family apart. I ran all of the various scenarios through my head as I cracked a Dos Equis and sat on my deck.

What I wanted to do most was divorce the cheating bitch and somehow be able to obtain custody of my girls. I'd suffer for a while, but I'd get over Bonnie in time. I wasn't sure the girls would. There would come a time when they'd need that female influence in their lives. Even if I remarried, the person I married would get a lot of resentment for daring to try to replace their mom.

The second possibility was even worse for me and exactly the same for the girls. If I divorced Bonnie and she got custody. I'd only be able to see my girls on weekends and holidays. Maybe I'd see them at the odd school function or birthday. That would be hell. It simply wouldn't be enough. 

That way would also bring complications. They'd live with Bonnie's new monster. They'd be her sisters too. So after a while, when I stopped by to pick them up or brought them presents, things would be awkward. My claims that she had her own father, would be hard for them to understand. I hated that version.

Lastly, the best short term solution for my girls would be if I could simply live with it. Accept Bonnie's bastard and move on. There was simply no way that I'd ever accept that child or love it. I could sit down with Bonnie and explain to her that I wanted nothing to do with her or her child but that we could stay together and pretend to be a family for the good of my daughters.

Once they all got old enough to understand what was going on, we'd re-assess the situation. It would mean daily contact with Bonnie and her baby. That child, through no fault of its own would be a constant reminder that Bonnie had destroyed our family. So that solution would be the worst for me. But it would also give the greatest reward because I'd get to see my girls every day and watch them grow up and be there to help guide them through life so they didn't grow up with only a whore as a role model.

Of course, there would have to be changes made. We could sell the girls on the fact that the baby and having the baby had caused some of them. Daddy is sleeping in the guest room or the basement because Mommy needs to be there for the baby. That would work except that there is no way I was giving up my bedroom. Bonnie could sleep in the basement. I would help her move some furniture down there, but that would be the end of my involvement.

She would also continue to keep the house clean and make the meals. I would continue to support us. I'd start a saving account for her so that when this shit was all over, she'd have some money to start her new life on. Tap, tap, tap...

I would have to keep up the charade for ten years. That isn't very long in the grand scheme of things. It was only 120 months or 520 weeks. Maybe it was easier to think of it as 3650 days. But they'd be days spent with my girls, I could do it for them. Tap, tap, tap...

Of course, there'd be no relationship outside of being co-parents with Bonnie. No sex, no cuddling, no presents, I wanted no contact with her. Tap, tap, tap...God damn it who the fuck was tapping on my fucking fence.

I walked across the yard and opened the gate. Bonnie's sister, Brenda stood there.

"Hi Grant," she smiled. I'd like to say that she smiled warmly. But ...well maybe if you lived in the Arctic Circle you could call it warm. Anywhere else her smile would be considered pretty God damned frosty. I knew she didn't mean anything by it. She was just being Brenda. I grabbed her and hugged her. As usual she just stood there and let me. She didn't return the hug. It was like hugging one of those soft mannequins or a blow up doll.




Forever Gone, Forever You



"Bonnie wants you to call her," she said. "She told me to tell you that she loves you and she made a mistake. She says that you guys can get past this." Then she stood there as if I was supposed to send a message back or something.

It was awkward as hell. The two of us just stood there not saying anything. Finally she broke the silence. She probably spoke because she was getting bored and wanted to go do something else.

"Don't you want to give me something to tell her?" she asked. "Or aren't you going to call her?

"Nope," I said.

"No, to which one?" she asked.

"Both," I said. "I have nothing to say to her, period."

That brought on another awkward interval of standing and not talking. I was tempted to say something stupid, like, "Nice weather we're having." But I didn't. So she had to talk again.

"Look Grant, you don't need to talk or anything do you?" she asked. From the expression on her face I got the idea that she'd just asked to be polite but really didn't want to be here or be involved in this.

"Nope, no talk," I said.

"Well," said Brenda. "The doctor is going to let her come home tomorrow anyway. You can talk to her then, right?"

"Okay, now we can talk," I snapped. "Tell her not to bother trying to come back to my fucking house. I don't want her or her baby here. She can move in with your parents."

Brenda jumped back. I think she was shocked at my tone and the vehemence in my voice.

"Uhm, Grant what's going on? You and my sister are in love and all of that shit. Why can't she come home?"

"Ask her to explain it to you," I snapped.

"But Grant, she can't stay with the parents. Mom and Dad have Marie and Tara right now. There's not enough room for them, the new baby and Bonnie."

"You guys can work it out," I said. "My girls can always come home, or stay with your parents. Bonnie could move in with you. Or she could move in with your parents if the girls come home."

"I'll try to tell her that," said Brenda. She turned and started walking back to her car. At the last second before I closed the gate she looked at me and said, "I don't know what my sister did. But I do know that she loves you very much."

I closed and locked the gate and went back to drinking. About a half hour later my iPhone rang. I had about three beers in me so while I wasn't drunk, I wasn't as sharp either. I answered it.

"Grant, why can't I come home?" asked Bonnie's tearful voice. "We have to work this out. I can't be happy without you. I know that you don't understand any of this and you're feeling really hurt and really angry but I..."

"But you, what?" I yelled into the phone. "You got bored so you went out and fucked some guy for excitement?"

"No," she said. "I did it for us."

I was floored. This bitch was out of her cotton picking mind. I had nothing to say. I couldn't think of one word that would make any of this real."

"This was our dream," she said. "And it was wonderful."

"Have you been going to those web sites and reading those stories about those poor deluded guys who fantasize about or don't mind their wives fucking other men?" I asked. "Because you should know that I'm not like that at all."

Bonnie started crying and bawling into the phone. I just hung up on her. A short time later, she called back. This time, my brain was functioning so I didn't answer the phone. A couple of hours later the phone rang again. I looked at my caller ID and saw that it wasn't Bonnie's number. It was her parent's home phone. I answered the phone. I didn't want to be rude to her parents. They had never treated me badly so there was no need for me to do it to them. 

"Daddy, I have a question for you," said Marie. 

"Hi, Angel," I croaked. Despite my need to be depressed and angry, there was no way I could ever take it out on her. That nasty voice in the back of my mind finished the sentence for me, "Even if she isn't mine."

"If you're home, why am I stuck here at Grandma's house?" she asked. "I didn't mind being here while you were at the hospital with mom, but I should be with you. Come and get me."

"Angel, I would love to," I said. And I wasn't lying. "But I've had a couple of beers so I really shouldn't be driving. I especially shouldn't drive with my baby in the car."

"Oh Daddy, "she giggled. "I'm not your baby anymore. I'm your teenager. I'm fourteen."

"Marie, you'll always be my baby," I said. "No matter what happens and no matter what anyone says."

Before she could reply I heard another voice in the background. "Daddy, I'm your baby," said Tara. "Brandy can be mom's baby and I can be yours since Marie is so old now."

I couldn't help myself, I laughed.

Then Bonnie's father came on the line. "Grant, what is going on? Bonnie's been crying all day. And I know that you not coming back to the hospital had something to do with it. She won't tell me what this is all about, but whatever it is the two of you need to talk. You can't settle anything without talking."

"You're absolutely right, sir," I said. "I'll stop by the hospital tomorrow and talk to her."

"Aren't you going to bring her home?" he asked. 

"It's possible, but not very likely," I said.

The next morning, bright and early, I went to the hospital. There were a few cheers when I walked in. Several people told me they'd been sure I'd come back. I ignored them all. A couple of the nurses told me they'd seen lots of cases of the "Daddy Jitters."

I went into Bonnie's room and stood by the door for a few seconds before she noticed me. A nurse was disconnecting the tubes and electrodes that linked her to the monitoring machines and gave her meds and pain killers.

When she saw me her whole face lit up and she held out her arms to me. Everything inside me wanted to go to her and hug her but I didn't. The nurse cautioned her, because she'd almost torn out one of the needles in her arm. I waited a few moments and the nurse left the room.

"You can come over here and sit by me," said Bonnie sadly. "Maybe you should lock the door." Her voice had taken on a harder edge.

"Before we get into this and I try to pull your head out of your ass, I need to ask you a question. Why did you lie to your daughter last night?" she said.

"I didn't think I should bring her home without asking you," I said.

"Grant, when I didn't want her to play volleyball, you signed her up anyway. You didn't ask me shit. When I asked you about it do you remember what you said?" I shook my head though I did remember.

"You told me that she wanted to play really badly, and you didn't have to ask my permission to sign your own daughter up for something," she snapped. "But now, because I made a really stupid mistake, that isn't as bad as you think it is, all of a sudden you need to ask my permission just to let her come home and be with her father, whom she loves and misses."

"I'm not her father, I'm her Dad," I said.

"God, you're lucky I can't get up right now," she said. "I swear as much as I want you to hold me, I'd slap the shit out of you first."

"You are her Dad, and her Daddy and her father and her pop and all of those other stupid names for the man who raised her and loves her. Don't let your stupid fucking ego hurt OUR daughter, Grant. I fucked up not her," she said.

"So, I can take her and Tara home?" I asked.

"Of course you can silly. We were never going to do anything different," she said. "They belong with you."

"Well that should make things easy for your parents," I said.

"Of course it will," she smiled. "Your girls were probably driving them ragged. Now they'll have a little peace and their privacy back. You know they still do it don't you. We're going to be like that too."

"How are they going to have any privacy or any quiet with the baby screaming and crying?" I asked. "You do remember that babies do that a lot?"

"Grant, what are you talking about?" she asked.

"Well, Brenda told me that your parents didn't have enough room in their house for you, YOUR baby, and the girls. So if I take the girls with me until we figure out what we're going to do. Then there shouldn't be a problem, right?"

She looked as if she was a balloon and all of the air had just been released.

"What do you mean, until we work this out?" she asked. "You make it seem like there's a chance that we won't. And what the hell do you mean MY baby. Grant, please don't take this out on an innocent baby. She's OUR baby. From the first second that I found out I was pregnant, you've been there, both for me and for her."

"You spoke to her every day while she was in my womb. And now you want to abandon her? You rubbed my tummy. You felt her kick. You told her all about us and our family and all of the things we were going to do. And now, suddenly you're not her father?"

"That's bullshit, Grant." Bonnie tried to sit up in the bed. It caused her some degree of pain, but I was unmoved.

"Don't you see, Honey. It was the best pregnancy possible. It was so romantic. It brought us even closer together. And you're going to be the perfect father. That was what this was all about from the beginning. It was everything I wanted for us. It was everything I dreamed of."

Suddenly, it was all clear. I'd been under the impression that Bonnie had reverted to her old sex crazy mentality. I'd thought that this was all some kind of terrible accident. My theory had been that she'd gone out looking for sex, since I wasn't enough for her and ended up pregnant. But this was far worse. 

In my version, I hated her and I hated her baby because they both reminded me that I was inadequate. All that I could give her was simply not enough. This was simply much worse. The woman I loved had whored herself out with the express purpose of getting pregnant, having another man's child and tricking me into believing it was mine.

Her child had been no accident born of carelessness or bad luck. This had been a planned betrayal. My heart hurt even more though I hadn't thought that was possible. My eyes filled with tears and I had to look away from her.

"You understand don't you?" she asked. "You see it now, right?"

"I wanted...No I needed for us to have a baby together, Grant. I love you so much that I just had to share this experience with you. And as much as I wanted it to be OURS, it just didn't happen. I dreamed of us making love, the way we always do, and your seed growing into a mini us inside of me. I prayed for it. I craved it. I wanted for us to do all of the things we did while I was pregnant. It was wonderful, so wonderful. I swear that she'll be all YOURS, just like the others. No one will ever know.

"Yeah," I said slowly. I tried to keep the anger out of my voice and keep my voice down. "No one will ever know that the woman I foolishly believed loved me the way that I love her whored herself out for a selfish fantasy. No one will ever know that our girls and our life together just weren't enough for you. They won't know that I wasn't enough for you. I guess they won't know that you broke my heart. But God damn it, they're going to know that this farce ended. They're going to know that I had some degree of pride. They're going to know it because we're over."

"No we're not," she screamed. I noticed faces at the viewing pane in the door. "We're never going to be over. I love you, Grant. It was only sex and it only happened twice. I hate that bastard. I didn't enjoy it. Both times I wanted to kill that smug asshole. But it was necessary. I did it for us and for our baby. It's over now. We're going to be fine."

"No Bonnie! We WERE fine. We were already fine. We had a great life; you me and our girls. I loved you all more than I could ever say. But you fucked it up royally," I said. "When I first got here I had three plans in mind. I had three ways to pull us out of the shit you dropped us into. I didn't know which one to choose so I wanted to talk them over with you and we'd decided which one to go for together. But now I'm back to square one. There's something wrong with you. I can't make any kind of decisions with you. I'll never be able to trust you again."

"What were the plans?" she asked quietly.

"We get a divorce and I get custody," I said.

"Are you crazy?" she asked. "No."

"I didn't want custody of YOUR baby," I said. "I only wanted the other two."

"What about me?" she asked. "Who'd get custody of me?"

"That really hadn't crossed my mind," I said. "I don't really care. I assumed you'd end up with Sergeant Semen or whatever you call your huge dicked, super sperm shooting lover."

"His dick isn't as big as yours is," she said sadly. "I don't want to be with him. I don't love him. He doesn't love me. He just fucks anything he sees. And he's already married. He's one of those guys who just use women, but this time I just used him."

Bonnie was looking at me with pleading eyes. We heard a key turning in the lock but the door didn't open. "Are the other plans better? I don't like that one very much," she asked. "I don't like anything where we're not together."

"We get a divorce and you get custody," I said. "I pay child support for the two I thought were mine. No alimony, though. Your lover can support you. I get as much in terms of visitation rights as possible."

"That one is even worse," she said. "Yeah, I'd get more time with the girls, but I can't be happy without you. And Marie would hate me forever, for taking you away from her. It would all end up seeming like it was my fault. Tara would hate me too. And Brandy would be confused."

Her look told me that she wanted to hear the last plan.

"The last one was for us to pretend that we were still married for the sake of the girls," I said.

She cheered up and actually smiled a bit. "I could live with that for a while," she said.

"Could you have lived with it for ten years," I asked.

"Hell yes," she said. "That plan gives me the best chance of keeping my family together. And I know you Grant. You'll forgive me sooner or later. And you're going to love Brandy too."

"I know what you're thinking Bonnie," I snapped. "And it's not going to happen. First off, I told you it would be a pretend marriage. And it would be only for the sake of the girls. We wouldn't sleep together or have sex. I intended to build a room in the basement for you and YOUR child. We'd simply go through the motions so the kids could have a good life. But there would be no relationship between us." Her jaw dropped open at that point.

"I picked 10 years, not because I wanted to give you time to fix things between us; there is no US. I picked ten years because Tara will be going off to college then and we could go our separate ways. This isn't about us. This is about my girls. Well, the ones I thought were mine."

"Another thing too, the house would be off limits. You can't bring any of your fuck buddies there even for a visit. And when I'm ready to start dating, I won't bring anyone there either," I said.

"You've got this all wrong, Grant," she sniffled. "Everything you said is just wrong. I love you so much that the thought of not being able to touch you or kiss you hurts me. And whether you know it or not, you love me too. I could have you back in my bed in less than a week. And I'm not a whore. I don't have, need or want any fuck buddies except for you. In over ten years I never slept with anyone other than you. I never wanted to. I just wanted for us to share something and I made a mistake in the way I went about it."

"We're married Grant. We always will be. I don't want to have sex with anyone except you. And your great 10 year timeline seems to have missed the fact that Brandy would only be 10 years old when you left us. She'd be too young to understand losing her daddy too. She's your daughter, Grant. She was conceived with you in mind. And you're going to love her as much as you love the other two."

"No," I said. 

"No, what?" she asked.

"No to all of that bullshit," I snapped. My voice got louder and a couple of heads poked in through the unlocked door. I was beyond caring at that point.

"I am not going to interact with YOUR daughter. She's too much of a reminder of what I had and lost. I don't give a flying fuck if she doesn't understand losing me in ten years or ten centuries because I am not her father. I don't love you any more Bonnie." She looked as if I had slapped her, and started bawling.

"You did this to us with all of your fucking games. You burned up all the love I had for you. I don't think you ever really loved me to begin with. If you did you'd have tried to see this whole thing from my side. You wouldn't have done this at all if you did. Even if we do decide to try this pretend thing out. I don't think it's going to work. I'm not sure how long I could stomach being around you."

"And I'm not as easy to seduce as you think I am. It was always easy for you before because I loved you. I loved being with you. That is no longer the case. So you'd better find someone else to fuck because if you're waiting for me, your pussy will dry up first. As a matter of fact forget about it. Forget the whole fake marriage thing. First thing Monday morning, I'm filing for a divorce."

I walked out of the room and right past several shocked faces.

Bonnie's father trailed along behind me. "Grant, stop," he called. I didn't stop walking but I did slow down enough that he could catch up to me. There's that respect thing again.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked. By that time we were outside of the hospital and he pulled me down onto a bench in the parking lot. He handed me a handkerchief and looked away while I wiped the tears from my eyes. 

"Grant, you have to let us help you two fix this," he said. "For the past couple of days things between you and Bonnie are kind of off. I'm sure this has something to do with the new baby, doesn't it."

I nodded. "I heard some of it," he said. "You're the most accepting man I've ever known. Both of my granddaughters love you. And you love them. The relationship you have with Marie is scary. If it was possible to mentally rewrite a person's genetic code, hers would match yours, Grant. She loves you that much. Why were you screaming about Bonnie's daughter?"

"Bonnie's maternal instincts are apparently out of whack," I began. "As you said, I love Marie like she is my own daughter. Most of the time, I forget that she isn't. I think that she does too. It doesn't matter. I love her and Tara both like they were. I went into both of those relationships with my eyes open. I chose to love them both willingly."

"But that wasn't enough for Bonnie. She wanted to have another baby so badly that she went out and fucked some guy just so she could get pregnant. Apparently it wasn't a one-time thing. I'm not sure I believe her about it only happening a few times. I don't know if I can believe anything she says anymore. She planned the whole thing out. Go out have unprotected sex with a guy or guys that she probably didn't even know. Who knows what kind of diseases she could have brought home. And continue to do it until she got pregnant. Then pretend that miracle of miracles, WE were going to have a baby together. She got me to go through all of the things she'd always wanted. All of the things she missed out on when she was pregnant with Marie. And I fell for it. If it hadn't been for an overworked doctor I never would have known. She'd have let me live out the rest of my life never knowing while she and her lover laughed at me about it."

His face fell into that shocked look. He wasn't sure that his daughter was capable of something like that.

"I'm not going along with her plan," I said. "It was one thing for me to play along blindly, when I didn't know. But now that I do, I feel like George Jetson and I just want to get off of this crazy thing."

"What do you want to do?" he asked. 




Forever Gone, Forever You



"I'm going after a divorce," I told him. His face was even more drawn. He wasn't a young man and too many shocks like this couldn't have been good for him.

"Bonnie told me that it's okay for me to take the girls home," I said. "If you want to verify it with her, that's fine with me."

"No, son," he said. "If you guys are going to split up, I'm sure you'd both want to have as much time with them as possible."

"It also makes it easier for you," I told him. "You don't have enough room in your house for my girls and Bonnie and her baby." He just nodded.

"But your house is bigger," he said. "You could all be comfortable there. That was why you stayed in that big old house that your folks left you, after you married Bonnie. You always knew that you and Bonnie wanted a house full of kids."

"That is true sir," I said. "But I don't think I'd be comfortable living under the same roof with Bonnie and her child. You and Mary are always welcome to come and visit. There's no need for you to call first or anything. You can come and get the girls and take them to visit their mother and their half- sister. I'm hoping we can all still be friends. I'm glad that you'll be looking out for Bonnie. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. It's just that she hurt me too bad and I can't be with her anymore."

"You don't think this is temporary, then?" he asked.

"No sir," I said. "And when you speak to her, please remind her that going along with the divorce is in her best interest. I'm looking for a quick simple divorce. I'll file under irreconcilable differences to avoid embarrassment on both sides. I'll pay as much child support for my girls as is necessary and will also provide anything else they need. I will not however pay child support for Bonnie's child or any alimony. I refuse to pay her for breaking my heart and ruining our family. Let her lover take care of her. You could also remind her that as angry as I am if it comes down to it, she's already admitted to going out and getting pregnant on purpose and trying to stick me with another man's child. That's fraud. She could be prosecuted for that. It might even be enough to get me custody of my girls and earn her a stretch in jail. I'd still get the divorce but I'd get much better terms. I'm trying to be nice about this for the sake of my girls."

"This is all about Marie and Tara," I said. "I want them to have the best life possible. If there has to be a divorce, I want it to impact them as little as possible. They have a few friends whose parents aren't together, so they'll adjust. I just don't want things to be hard on them."

The next few days were hard on everyone. Things were a whirlwind of activity. Bonnie went home to her parents' house the next day. I took the girls over to visit her, but I didn't go in. They couldn't stay for very long because Bonnie had to go to the hospital to be with Brandy. 

The doctors wouldn't let Brandy come home for a couple of more days. Bonnie called me constantly begging me to speak to her. She sent her parents either singly or together to talk to me. Strangely it was the unemotional Brenda, who was the closest to understanding.

One night when the girls were asleep and Bonnie claimed she couldn't handle being away from me for any longer, she conned Brenda into bringing her by the house. She knocked on the door loudly and tried to make me let her in.

I called her on my cell phone and told her that the girls were asleep and she'd wake them up by acting like a fool. That wouldn't do her chances of getting custody any good. She told me that if I would just come out and talk to her for two minutes she'd go away. She just needed to hear the sound of my voice. I agreed. 

I stepped out on the porch and saw Bonnie and her sister, Brenda sitting in the lounge chairs on our porch. There were four chairs there that we sat in sometimes with the kids. I guess she expected me to sit in one of the chairs. She was probably expecting me to sit in the one next to her. I sat on the porch railing opposite the chairs.

"Hey Brenda," I said smiling. Then I turned to my wife. I very slowly let my smile fade and my face change until it showed the anger and the revulsion I felt towards her. I wanted her to see all of the changes in my expression. Then speaking in the coldest voice I could muster. "You have two minutes," I told her.

"How are the girls?" she asked.

"They're fine," I said. I told her what we'd done that day and she smiled.

"I always knew you'd be a great father," she said. "I guess that's why it's so hard for me to believe that you haven't been to the hospital to visit your other daughter, who isn't doing nearly as well. She needs you too. And her mother needs you more than ever."

"Holy Shit, "I said. "Time sure flies when you're listening to bullshit. Your time is up. If you start banging on my door again, I'll call the police."

She reached out to grab me. "Grant I love you. I'm begging you to forgive me and give me one more chance. Give Brandy a chance."

As I started to close the door, I heard Brenda tell her. "Leave him alone Bonnie. Haven't you done enough to him already? He's hurting too and none of this was his fault, you did this."

Bonnie snapped right back at her sister, "Shut the fuck up, Brenda. He's mine and he always will be. You're supposed to be on my side. I already know I messed up. Now I need to fix it. And I'm trying to. Maybe you don't understand this because you've never loved anyone. But I am not going to let him divorce me. It is not going to happen."

I could hear the desperation in her voice. I only wish I had paid more attention to it. Maybe things could have turned out differently.

The next morning I woke up and made breakfast for my daughters before dropping them off at school. That was a normal thing. I did it every day anyway. Me making breakfast wasn't normal but dropping them off at school was.

They were very excited. "Brandy comes home today, daddy," said Marie.

That's great, Angel," I said quietly. I tried to keep the rage out of my voice so my daughter wouldn't think it was directed at her.

"Remember, the rules daddy," said Tara as we got close to their school.

"What rules, Baby?" I asked.

"Marie is too old to be your baby. She's just a girl now. I'm your baby, and Brandy is Mom's baby." said Tara.

"Okay, that has been established," I laughed as I let them out. I watched them walk into the school and drove off towards my job thinking that everything was fine.

I sat down and my desk and started trying to concentrate on the assignments that needed to go out that day. I'd been working and getting absolutely nothing done for about three hours when my secretary, Joan came in and told me that I had two calls. Both were urgent. One call was from the police and the other from the hospital. I took the call from the police. 

My house had been broken into. I quickly ran outside jumped into my Mustang and drove home. My alarm wasn't on, which was strange because I was sure I'd set it that morning. There were two police officers there. They showed me where a window had been broken on the side of the house.

"That's how they got in," said one of the officers.

I opened the front door and looked around the house. It hadn't been ransacked. In fact nothing was missing or damaged. I tried to look at things with a more critical eye. Then I noticed it. The dishes from the girls' breakfast were gone and the dishwasher was running. The dirty clothes hamper was empty and there was a load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer.

When I told the officers that, they laughed. "Someone broke into your house to do your housework for you," they laughed.

As we continued through the house, I noticed little things. There were a few things missing. There was a framed picture of Bonnie and me at our wedding missing. It was a special picture because of all of the pictures they took at our wedding this one was the only one that didn't have Marie in it.

Our entire Wedding album was still there. In fact it had been placed on my bed. There was piece of paper on top of it.

Several family pictures, as well as pictures of the girls were missing and a few of Bonnie's outfits and personal items were gone. It was very clear what had happened. I'd changed the locks on the house so Bonnie couldn't get in. She'd broken the window and turned off the alarm. I explained it to the officers and they left after finding out that I didn't want to press charges. I didn't blame them. I was sure that there were donuts out there that needed them.

I did wonder why Bonnie hadn't taken the wedding album. It was one of her favorite things. She often leafed her way through it looking at each picture, each perfect moment in time, captured and held there unchanging as we went through our lives. She must've memorized all of those pictures by now, but she still loved to look at that fucking book.

I picked up her note.

"Dearest Grant,"

"I'm sorry that I didn't love you at first sight the way that you've always sworn you did me. Be that as it may, you've always been far more important to me than I ever could be to you. You were free when we met to go out and find anyone you wanted. That was one of the ways I knew that you truly loved me. I mean realistically, who goes out and falls for a chunky girl with a kid when there are tons of slim attractive girls with no dependents available. It had to be love.

I wasn't free though to simply find someone that I loved. After our first date I was sure that I loved you too. But I wasn't free to give my heart to someone just because I loved them. I had to think of my daughter as well. It had to be a good fit for all of us. And it was. After that my love for you blossomed and continued to grow until it bordered on obsession. It still does. I would do anything to keep you in my life. I don't have to worry about my heart because you will always be there, no one could take your place, ever.

No one could ever compare to you in my bed either and believe me, I'd know. I had my time as a wild girl, you know about this already, and no one ever made me feel the way you did. When you talked about me and my lover laughing at you, you were partially right. He didn't laugh at you, because he never knew anything about you. I wouldn't dirty my love for you by even mentioning to him that I was married. I let him think that I was just some sluttish fat girl who needed sex.

The person laughing at you was me, Grant. I laughed that you would even think that anyone could ever replace you. It's still funny. There will never be another man for me. 

Surprisingly he didn't even remember me from before. That only goes to show you how shallow a bastard he is. But it's also why I needed him. Denny only had one good thing going for him. He didn't have a big dick, yours is so much better. But he's quick and he's really potent. I knew he could get me pregnant and quickly. I also knew that he has no soul and would never wonder about his child. After all he left after getting me pregnant the first time and never tried to contact me about Marie. She's never been his daughter, she's always been yours. 

I love you Grant. I really thought that this would be a good thing. I didn't enjoy the sex. I needed to use lube to even get him inside of me. I didn't kiss him. I didn't have an orgasm either time. I didn't even move. I just laid there and let him fuck me. It was even worse the second time, because I knew how it would be and the first time was so bad. Both times I came home and took at least five showers. I just couldn't get clean enough. I felt really bad after both times too.

The only thing that cheered me up after both was making love to you and blocking out the painful memories, but not the guilt. I was really glad when I found out I was pregnant because it meant that I wouldn't have to see him again. He'd complained both times about me being a dead fuck and probably wouldn't have done it again.

I did this not because I enjoyed it, but because I wanted to share something wonderful with the only man I have ever loved that we didn't seem to be able to do without help. If I'd known that it would endanger our family, I never would have done it. I did it for our family, not to tear it apart. It seemed like something so small to give for something so wonderful. I had to endure a little bit of unpleasantness, you were never supposed to know. My body and all of me have belonged to only you Grant since we've met. I didn't think that letting someone borrow one tiny piece of it would cause you not to want the whole thing anymore. Especially if WE got something that we wanted very badly. 

Grant, you love Marie with all of your heart and soul. If the only way for us to have her would be for me to have sex with someone else, would you want me to do it? Would you say no, knowing how much you've grown to love her? I don't think you'd like it but you'd do anything for your daughter, you've said it so many times. It's the same thing with Brandy. The same fucking man, the same fucking situation. 

Whether you want to believe this or not, Brandy IS your daughter. I still maintain that. You've taken care of her for all of her brief life so far. As to who made her, I had sex with both of you. You made love to me the day she was conceived too. Both times, you and I had sex in the morning before I left to go to him, and again after I'd been with him. I really believe that you got me in the mood and got my body ready to receive his sperm. You are at least partially responsible for OUR child's conception.

The other thing is the legality of the situation. Grant, I know you're hurt, but you ARE legally responsible for OUR daughter. I think in your pain you forget that the evening she was born. After you helped deliver her and cut her umbilical cord yourself, you must have been so happy that you forgot something. While you were jumping around and shaking people's hands and telling them that your name was, "Daddy." You signed her birth certificate. In the eyes of the law, as well as mine you are HER father.

I'm not trying to trap you into anything Grant. I'm trying to show you who you are. I told you before that you would love her as much as you do your OTHER daughters and I'm willing to risk my happiness and a part of my life to prove it to you. 

Always remember Grant that I love you more than anything else in this world. Not being with you will hurt me badly but just like you I'd sacrifice anything for my babies. I only hope that the old saying absence makes the heart grow fonder works for us as well. She signed it, "Yours Forever, Bonnie."

I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. In a couple of months we'd be divorced and I might have custody of my two daughters or she might. It would be up to the courts to decide. At least that was what I thought. My heart missed Bonnie, but my pride wouldn't allow forgiveness. Reading her letter had perhaps softened my stance toward her, but I still wasn't ready to forgive her.

On the other hand I was ready to find this Denny bastard and break his ass for running out on Marie. All of that was forgotten when the phone began ringing. It was the fucking hospital again. It was probably Bonnie calling me from the hospital wondering whether or not I'd read her fucking letter.

"What," I said into the phone. 

"Grant," you have to come over here now," said Bonnie's mother, Mary.

"Jim has had a heart attack, and there's a problem with Brandy," she said.

"Brandy is not my fucking problem," I thought. I couldn't have been more wrong.

When I got to the hospital, two nurses grabbed me and tried to pull me in opposite directions. One, a big black woman was trying to pull me towards pediatrics. She had an evil look on her face. She was scary as hell and I thought for a while I was going to have to deck that bitch. The other nurse was from the cardiac unit and she was equally stout. She just had a kinder expression on her face. She eventually won after they had a conversation about which need was more pressing.

"I hate deadbeat dads," said the black woman as she let me go. 

"I promise I'll come and pay whatever I owe you or sign the papers so my health care can take care of it," I said. "Until the divorce goes through I know that this is my problem."

She looked at me with an expression that said she had no idea what the fuck I was babbling about and left.

I went into the cardiac ward and saw Jim. Actually his heart attack had been mild. Mary was by his side. "He's going to be laid up for a while," she said. "I'm sorry I won't be much help to you. But my husband has to take first priority."

"Don't worry about it, Mary, "I said. "If there's anything I can do to help you out let me know. I can handle my girls easily. I've done it before. And while Bonnie was pregnant I kind of got used to doing most of it anyway. I just need to work out a schedule. Besides if there's a problem I can always just call Bonnie if I have to."

Mary looked at me and said, "No one told you?"

"No one told me what?" I asked. Then a doctor came and got Mary and took her away to talk about Jim's care. I figured I'd go out and find Bonnie to talk to her. Maybe she could tell me what was going on. But I had no intention of dealing with our issues or hers then.

When I got outside the big mean nurse grabbed my hand and led me to pediatrics. "We've been calling you all day," she snapped. "I know that your wife disappearing is hard on your family, but you still have responsibilities."

I had no idea what she was talking about. She gave me a couple of papers to sign and forced me into a wheel chair. Then she put the baby into my arms and they pushed me towards the door.

"You're lucky we're so busy today," she snapped. "When you didn't show up to pick her up this morning like you were supposed to, we were supposed to have called the family services agency and had you arrested. What kind of an asshole abandons a newborn?"

I sat there in the wheelchair with the most surprised look possible on my face. If Brenda hadn't come walking by, I might still be sitting there.

"Mom told me to help you out," said Brenda. "Dad is going to be here for a couple of days but then he'll go home. He's going to have a few restrictions in terms of diet and exercise but he'll be fine. She's more worried about you."

Brenda looked at me sitting there in the wheelchair and smiled. She called to one of her mom's friends. He was waiting to see Jim. She asked him to drive her car to my house and she'd bring him right back. For some reason that I still can't figure out, he didn't grumble at all. I guess the thought of being in a car in close quarters with a woman as attractive as Brenda was its own reward.

"Here Brenda, why don't you take this," I said, indicating the baby. 

"Oh no," she claimed. "I have no maternal instincts. I'd probably break it. You're the one who's supposed to be super dad. You can handle it. Besides, there's something really weird going on here."

We went out to my mustang and I gingerly got in. I'd have to look around the house for the new car seat that we'd bought for the baby. 

As we pulled out of the parking lot and stopped at a red light, Brenda looked over at me.

"That is the weirdest fucking thing," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"She's quiet and calm," said Brenda. "I've visited her every day since she was born. I've never seen this baby quiet. Are you sure they gave you the right one?"

"Don't start," I said. "I'm only keeping this thing until your sister gets back from fucking whomever she went off with. In the meantime, I intend to go ahead with my divorce plans and maybe I can get her charged with abandonment, for running off and leaving this thing."

"Unh huh," she said."

"I'm serious, Brenda. This is bullshit," I spat.




Forever Gone, Forever You



"Unh huh," she said.

"Unh huh, my ass," I said. "I'm unloading this thing as soon as I can. I'll give her two days to get her ass back here. Then I'm taking this thing to social services and explaining the situation to them. They can find her a home or foster parents or something like that."

"Unh huh," said Brenda, as we pulled up in front of my house. "Do you need anything?" she asked.

"No," I spat. "We bought formula the day she was born and haven't opened it yet. Your sister is super mom. We have everything we need."

"Grant, you're a great guy," she said. "What Bonnie did was flat out wrong. I don't agree at all with what she did. But I do know that she's tearing herself up over losing you. I think in some ways, as much as she loves being a mom, she'd started to resent this baby. That's why she left. She has to get her head straight. It wasn't good for the baby to have her mom blaming her in part for wrecking your family. Please, don't you take it out on her also? She's only a baby. Can you just wait and settle your issues with Bonnie, when she gets back."

I looked at her and realized that she was right. I nodded my head.

"Grant," Brenda said grabbing my face. It was the first time I remember her reaching out to touch anyone. "What I said before about you being the only person she was quiet for...I meant it. She wasn't even this peaceful when Bonnie held her. Maybe she'd already sensed that her mommy wasn't feeling good about having her. You're the best man I know, Grant. Let my niece feel that. You don't have to accept her as being your child. But she is related to you. Marie is still yours isn't she?" I nodded my head.

"Of course she is," I spat. 

"Well just accept Brandy as Marie and Tara's half-sister, if not as your daughter. Think of her as their cousin or something. Maybe she isn't yours, but she's part of your family." I nodded grudgingly.

"I loved her so much, Brenda," I said sadly."

"Grant, she STILL loves you. She hasn't given up on you at all. And she's not going off with anyone either. There is no one except for you," she said. She was getting ready to say something else but we were interrupted.

The girls came running out of the house excitedly. They were so busy cooing and looking at the baby that they didn't notice that their mother wasn't there.

I sensed challenging times ahead.

* * * * * *

I walked down the once familiar halls with a very somber expression on my face. The expression was not out of respect for the place I found myself in. My heart was breaking. I felt like I was being torn in two. I missed Grant so much that I wanted to die. That had been one of my options and it was still on the table. If this plan didn't work, I still might.

Once upon a time I'd expected to live out my life within these walls. I think I wanted to be a teacher then. But it was over ten years ago, so I may be wrong.

Bonnie, how good it is to see you again," said Reverend Mother Agnes. She was Sister Agnes when I was here, and she was old then. She's positively ancient now. 

As I looked at her face I could still see some of the smiling face of the woman from back then, but she was far more serious now. She also had a strength that wasn't based on physicality. Her body may be failing her, but her emotional or spiritual strength must have at least doubled.

"It's good to see you again too, Mother Agnes," I said. 

"Bonnie, you're coming here as a lay worker to help us. There's no need to stand on formality. You aren't a part of the order anymore, but we're still friends. You can just call me Agnes."

We spent a few more minutes going over what I'd be doing for the order for the next few months. My stay here was open ended. I'd signed on to help install a computer system in the convent. It could literally take years to drag them kicking and screaming out of the dark ages. I hoped that it wouldn't take that long for me to be able to go home. Every minute that I spent away from my family was torture, but it would be worth anything to keep us together.

The solutions that Grant had come up with for my betrayal were all unacceptable. After he found out what I'd done, I started thinking about solutions myself and none of them were any good. I'd even come up with the idea of giving Brandy up for adoption. Strangely that wasn't one of Grant's ideas and I knew why. He and I both strongly believed that a child needs their parents. Even one parent is better than none. So since he didn't want to be her father, he never envisioned the possibility that I'd give her up. 

Grant was being silly though, because I love all of my daughters, but as much as I love Brandy, if I had to choose between her and my husband, she'd lose. I wouldn't abandon her, I'd make sure she was placed with a good family, perhaps even with a family that was related to us. But there was simply no way I could take my other girls' father away from them. And then there were my own selfish needs for Grant as well.

Alone in my room, I pulled out my iPad. There was no Wi-Fi network in the convent yet, so I had to use it over the 3G network. I lightly touched an app and my screen filled with a grid of square windows.

There were six squares in the grid. I tapped one and it filled my screen. I started crying silently as I looked at it. I turned up the volume as I watched Grant sitting in the rocking chair by our fireplace. He was holding Brandy and rocking her to sleep. It was no surprise to me that she was quiet for Grant. He has such a way with kids. I watched as Marie came in and sat down next to him. That girl followed her dad around like a puppy. There was no way I could have separated them. I really have the feeling that if it came down to a choice, my daughter at 14 would have chosen to stay with her dad in a divorce.

Grant handed the baby to her older sister, so he could get out of the rocking chair. She handed her back when he was standing up and followed him to our bedroom. Grant had moved her basinet into our room, the softy. I started crying when I saw it. He put her down to sleep and stayed there with Marie by his side until she drifted off. Then he went into the girls' room and read Tara a bedtime story. Marie was staring down at something in her hands the whole time. I couldn't see what it was.

I couldn't believe it; Grant had bought Marie a cell phone. He knew that I didn't want our kids to become phone junkies. She was only 14. I calmed myself down and smiled. I was sure he was just giving them a few things to distract them from feeling bad about me not being there.

Tara is still afraid of the dark. When Marie is in the room with her it's not a problem though. Grant had put a night light by her bed, what a wimp. Tara seemed to have a few new toys too. I hoped he'd get over his anger at me before the girls took over the house completely.

Over the next few months, I ordered and installed computers in the convent. I held classes and taught the nuns basic computer skills. I also taught them how to use the basic types of computer software. I had the convent connected to the internet and installed a small business network. 

I threw myself into my work and at the end of each day, I returned to my room and engaged in my favorite pastime; watching my family.

As I'd known he would, Grant had cared for our daughters even better than I'd expected. Against everything he'd said; a bond had formed between Grant and our youngest daughter. Tears had rolled down my cheeks as he'd walked through the living room rocking the infant in his arms as she'd gone through the pain of teething. He'd given her ice chips as he had with Tara.

The thing that hurt me the most was when he'd begun to talk to the baby, as he walked with her each night. He told her all about her sisters when they were younger and how she would grow up to be smart and beautiful just like them. Then he'd begun talking about his relationship and courtship with me.

I couldn't tell if he was telling the baby those things because he really expected her to understand them or if he was only talking to work out his own demons.

He talked about exactly how much he'd loved me and how much I'd meant to him. I'd been everything to him. Hearing him say it and continuously use the past tense hurt me. Hearing about the way he truly felt about what I'd done hurt me even more. After that night I hadn't watched him for a few days and couldn't work because I was too depressed and hurt. I began then to see how badly what I had done hurt him. I began to wonder, and not for the first time, if what I'd done had been truly worth what I was going through now.

I also began to feel doubt about whether or not my plan would succeed. I was no longer sure that my husband would ever want me back. My sister routinely visited my family and seemed to be becoming closer to Grant. That was something that I hadn't planned on. In fact, none of this was going according to my plan. I'd expected this to take no longer than two or three months. It was nearing a year. 

There had been a few things that I considered triumphs over the past 11 months. One had been when my father had recovered from his heart attack. My mother had offered to take Brandy, but Grant had refused. He'd told her that she had enough problems with Dad's health. He'd hold on until I returned. I was sure that his feelings for our daughter were growing. 

Another had been getting him the DVDs. Denny had a habit of recording some of his trysts. I had taken the DVDs from him. I hadn't wanted anyone to ever find out what I'd done. Anyway one night I'd heard Grant telling Brenda about how he was sure that I had been cheating on him for weeks probably years and that I'd probably been back in slut mode. It hurt me that he thought I could do that to him.

Brenda was the only one who knew where I was. I called my sister and told her to leave the DVDs somewhere that Grant might find them. Brenda asked Grant if she could look through my clothes for something to wear while she helped him do the housework. As she and Grant looked through a drawer trying to find her a sweatshirt, Grant discovered the DVDs.

I knew that it was risky, allowing Grant to see another man having sex with me. If he took it the wrong way I might never get him back. But I also knew that if he didn't get over his idea that I'd been fucking Denny for pleasure, I might still not get him back. 

I'd watched the video through my hidden cameras along with Grant, watching his reaction. Grant had watched as I lay there on the motel bed like a mannequin. Denny had pulled my legs apart and tried to mount me. He couldn't get his dick in me. I'd reached into my purse and brought some lube out. I handed it to him refusing to even apply it to his dick or my own vagina. I'd looked at the camera a few times hoping it would show that my expression was very sad on one DVD and disgusted on the second.

The conversation between us, both during sex and after had also been interesting. After the first time He'd quipped that my pussy wasn't very tight. I'd told him it was because his dick was too small. He'd told me that he was only trying to make conversation. I told him that eternity was the time between when he'd "cum," and when he'd go. 

The snappy patter was even worse the second and final time. He told me I was a dead fuck. I told him that he was nothing to get excited over and he didn't know what he was doing. He told me things might be better if I sucked his dick to get him ready. I told him to suck it himself because I only did that for my husband. He told me he'd eat me if I let him suck my big breasts. I told him I'd rather just fuck and get it over with.

After it was over he told me that he normally fucked anything that moved but he didn't want to have sex with me ever again. Two times was enough. I should lose his phone number "Fine," I said. "My husband was way better in bed anyway."

I was sure that hearing the dialog between us might help Grant get over his hurt. As I watched his reaction I couldn't tell.

A few weeks later Brenda was back and asked Grant again how he felt about me. For the first time since this had begun he didn't answer in anger. He just said that he didn't know. I was happier than I'd been since I left home.

A few nights later I almost had a heart attack. Grant was holding Brandy as usual, while he and the girls watched TV. Brandy had been making the usual baby cooing sounds and she spit out her bottle and clearly said, "Dada."

Marie and Tara had smiled and laughed. Grant had looked angry at first and glared at the baby. She looked straight at him and said it again smiling, "Dada." Grant had just shaken his head and gave her the bottle back. 

Something else had happened a few days after that. Grant had asked Brenda to watch the girls for him for an evening. She'd agreed but asked him where he was going. He just told her he was going out. That bothered me because if he started dating there was a good chance that I'd lose him. In our state I only had a few months more before Grant could divorce me for abandonment. So I couldn't take the chance that he'd start dating.

* * * * * *

I walked into a bar to get a drink. Alright, it wasn't an accident. I'd picked that particular place at that particular time for a reason. I'd done some checking and found out who this Denny bastard was. He was a local scum bag. He wasn't exactly a criminal, he was just a lazy, good for nothing scumbag who'd gotten lucky and married a rich older woman. 

His wife controlled everything in the relationship, but it still left Denny the time and the money to fuck anything that wasn't nailed down. This bar was where he liked to hang out. I came here seeking answers.

He had a few friends that he liked to brag to about his exploits. He was already holding court when I sat down at the bar near his table. He was bragging about some dancer that he'd supposedly been with. I joined the conversation as if I was one of his old friends.

"Dude, you've moved up in the world," I said. "Denny, I've been out of town for about a year. I went to Cali. You should check out the chicks I brought back with me."

My use of his name really made him think that he knew me.

"California pussy huh?" he asked. "Maybe we should get together."

"I'm not sure you're up to it," I laughed. "Last time I was here you were sneaking off with some chunky chick."

"Oh, please," he said. "Those older married women are the real test. Fucking some young chick that's really never been plowed, is okay, but when you get a bigger, older, married chick chasing you. Then you know you're something."

I nodded my head as if I almost believed him, but needed some convincing. I leaned over and told him to meet me in the parking lot so we could talk. Of course, his friends wanted to come but I told them if he vouched for them after we met the girls, then maybe we'd bring them along next time. They even paid for my beer. 

Denny and I headed out to the parking lot with big smiles on our faces. He was grinning because of his addiction to new pussy and what he thought was about to happen to him. I was smiling because of what was about to happen to him too.

Let me set the scene for you. Denny is a pretty big guy, bigger than me in fact. But his wife had pretty much tamed him. He was like those toothless old tigers in the zoo. His wife wore his balls on a chain around her neck. He looked scary to guys who were smaller than him and more domesticated. But just like those tigers from the zoo, when you took them out into the wild, a lot of them refused to come out of the cage.

We got into the parking lot and I sat on the hood of Denny's M3.

"Tell me what happened with the chunky chick from last year," I snapped.

Denny enjoyed telling his little tales to his friends, so he launched right into it. 

"That bitch was really into me," he began. "I had the feeling that I knew her from somewhere. Like maybe we went to school together or something. It was like she already knew me and had always wanted herself a big piece of Denny."

He laughed at his own joke and then noticed that I wasn't laughing.

"She actually begged me to suck my dick. She acted like giving me a blowjob was something she'd always dreamed of," he said. "And she got so wet that I thought I was going to drown. She was humping that big fat ass against me so hard that I was afraid for a while. She didn't want me to stop, but I was exhausted. We must've fucked for at least a couple of hours straight. She even came back for more. So she must've liked what she got."

"So are you still fucking her?" I asked.

"Hell no," he snapped. "I just hit em and quit em. I try to be careful, especially with the married ones. That stupid bitch wanted to leave her husband for me. She actually begged me to marry her and have kids with her. That's one thing I'm proud of. I've probably fucked a couple of hundred women, but not one of them has ever been able to pin a fucking crumb snatcher on me. Why the fuck would I ever want one of those vile, nasty little critters."

He'd just sucked in a breath to say something else when I hit him. My first punch stunned him and he staggered backwards. "Why the Fu..." he began, as I hit him again. This time, my hand connected with something more solid and blood erupted from his face.

"You broke my nose," he screamed.

"If you don't tell me the truth, I'm gonna break your ass," I said.

"What do you want to know," he asked, spitting out blood. I smiled as he cowered away from me. He had no guts at all. But then it's pretty tough to have guts when someone else has your balls. At that moment my hatred for Denny turned to pity. 

I also abandoned my original plan to tell his wife what he'd done. Having that information get out could only hurt my girls, Marie especially. We were all better off without any of this getting out.

From his statement about "Vile little critters," I realized that Denny didn't know that Marie or Brandy even existed. Let alone that he was their sperm donor. It was better off for all concerned if he never knew.

"The truth," I said. "Tell me everything. Don't leave anything out. You never know what might start me beating your ass again. I'm not one of your little friends so don't bother trying to make yourself look good. Just tell me the truth."

"Okay, the truth is that I was shocked when she came onto me. Half of the women around here don't fall for my shit any more. My wife is so old that she doesn't care about having sex very often and when she does it's like fucking a wrinkled up corpse. I use a lot of hookers. So when this woman came to me I didn't care if she was a little chunky. She was pretty and she had big tits. It was free pussy. Why the hell would I look a gift horse in the mouth?

But the sex was awful. She didn't suck my dick. Shit, she didn't even take her clothes off. She acted like she didn't even want me to touch her and she called me names after it was over." He looked at me to get my reaction.

"I was sure I'd never see her again," he said. "But a few weeks later she came after me again. I figured that maybe the first time was just bad timing or she was in a bad mood. 

But the second time was even worse. She didn't even move. The whole time that I was fucking her, she had this look on her face like she hated me. I swear I knew her from somewhere. I just couldn't put it together. Then I noticed that when I came in her she closed her legs and tilted her pussy upwards like she was trying to make sure my sperm didn't come out of her. The look on her face was so hateful that I just told her it was going to be the last time we ever got together. 

I had the feeling that she just hated men in general or me in particular. She seemed like the kind of woman who'd cut your throat while you were asleep."