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Finnley and April Matson

By: Matt Moreau



We'd been sitting at the table furthest from the bar having, what any interested spectator would have judged, a spirited conversation. April Mulrooney, my intended had just laid it on me that she had indeed been seeing other men, read screwing them, and that as recently as the night before. Oh, she had assured me that none of them were a threat to our plans, but I was not having any!

We'd had a date that she'd stood me up for. When I'd fortuitously caught her at the Red Light with her stud of the moment; she'd flushed, stammered, and tried to get me to sit down with them. I'd opted to flip them off and cut country instead. But, that was last night. When one hour ago, she'd cornered me here, I'd decided to get the mandatory last conversation with her over with. Well, and so here we were.

"Any chance for us, Finn," she said. I slowly shook my head in the negative. Begging not getting her anywhere, she decided to go on the offensive.

"Finnley Matson, you love me, and I love you. Why can't you understand that! This thing with the others—it's just—well, sex. There is no emotional attachment like I have with you, like you and I have. It's just fun stuff when you're not available."

"Fun stuff? Not available? We had a date last night, April. I was available as hell; actually looking forward to a good time with you! You, on the other hand, stood me the hell up to screw somebody else. And, even though I'd caught you, you still went home with the asshole and fucked him. Explain that if you can, April!" 

"I almost didn't go home with him, Finn. But, I'd led him on. And, well, I figured that if you were going to dump me that I might as well go ahead and do it with him. Finnley, if you'd only have stayed and talked it out with us..."

"Talked it out—'with us'! You actually expected me to sit down with the guy you were going to cheat on me with and be okay with it. Tell me, was that what you really thought! You're a trip and a half, woman, a trip and a half for damn sure. 

"We're engaged, April, or rather were. And, we are, but three months from graduation, and are—were—only four months from being man and wife," I said. "How do you expect me to level that with you screwing everything on campus with a third leg? No, there is no chance for us, April, not a chance in hell. And, I pity any fool stupid enough to hook up with you. Thank god I found out about you before it was too late. Have a nice life. No don't—I don't want you to be happy. I want you to be as miserable as you've made me!" I stood, turned, and left her sitting there.

******

I hadn't seen or spoken to April since the blowup. But on grad day I saw her. Oh yeah, I saw her; she was in a huddle with her parents. She noticed me staring at her and flashed me a smile. 

My anger had abated some over the three months since Gotterdammerung, but I didn't smile, anger abatement or no. Did I miss her? Hell yes I missed her. Enough to give us another chance? Hell no! At least that's what I kept telling myself. 

We were still in our grad suits when she came up to me. I was talking to a few friends and making plans for that evening: basically plans to party hardy!

"Hello, Finn, congratulations," she said. I looked her up and down. She had a sad look about her.

"Hello, April. Congratulations to you too," I said.

"Finn—could I have a word with you? Would that be all right? You know for old time's sake," she said. I stared at her. She was so beautiful. I nodded and stepped away from the group I was with. She walked with me.

"I guess I blew it, huh?" she said.

"We've had this conversation, April, three months ago," I said.

"I've changed, Finn. I haven't slept with another man during that whole time," she said. I remained silent. I had nothing to say.

"Doesn't that make a difference?" she said.

"What do you want me to say, April? You killed my heart. You say you've been celibate for the past three months, but then how do I know that that is so. And, even if it is, how do I know that you won't revert to past habits in the future. And even if you never do do it again, how do I get around the fact that you were hanging horns on me for the entire three years we were going together, the last as each other's intended! Kinda hard to get by that much doubt and anger huh, April," I said.

"Finn, like I said, I blew it. I know it, and I; well, I would like you to give me another chance," she said. I think my jaw must have dropped a yard.

"Another chance? You're serious?" I said.

"As a heart attack," she said. "I will never cheat again, Finn, not ever. I promise you that. You're my main man. None of those others ever meant anything; but, that said, I know that I was in the wrong, crazy in the wrong. I will make it up to you in spades if you just give me half a chance."

I looked her in the eyes. Main man? What did that mean? And did I believe her whatever it meant? I wasn't sure. Would I want to risk making her mine? Frankly, no. And, frankly again, I didn't want to risk having my heart broken a second time. That said, I considered that there might be a way. It was not sure fire, but almost: live together for a year and include a prenup if we made it that far and got married.

******

We moved in with each other the next day. It was a good day: one filled with promise. But, one thing, one minor downside to her moving in with me, was the massive amount of stuff she brought with her. It was—well—massive!

Things went along well for the next several months. Seven months actually. Then, she laid it on me. 

"Finnley, I know we talked about waiting a year, but it's been seven months already. Do you think we might be able to short shank things and get married now," she said.

I looked her in the eye. The look was innocence incarnate. I was more than persuaded that she hadn't doublecrossed me during the months we'd lived together. Could she have and kept it from me? Possible, but not real likely. We were together almost constantly during that time. On the rare occasions that we were not, I had to believe that she was doing whatever she'd said she was doing. She knew the price that she would have to pay if she played behind my back.

All of the aforementioned said, and apart from the fact that we'd had an agreement, I had no good reason not to accede to her request. So, I did. We were married in front of a justice of the peace. And, the prenup? Didn't happen. And, no, not because she'd said anything about it, but because I had come to trust her. That, added to my undeniable love for her, made a prenup a non-happening. And so was launched the family of Finnley and April Matson nee Mulrooney.

******

The next eleven years weren't good; they were outrageously wonderful! Well, they were for me. And, up until five minutes ago, I had thought that they had been just as good for April. But, five minutes ago, I discovered my wife in our bed with a man, one I had never seen before. The worst of it was that my lovely wife, the light of my life, actually had the brass cajones to assume I'd could be persuaded to be okay with it. I knew that because that's what she told me—five minutes ago. 

"Finn, today, this thing that you came upon by accident. Well, it wasn't exactly by accident," she said. 

"Huh? What are you saying, April?" I said.

"Finn, I didn't exactly set you up, but I knew that sooner or later you'd come home early and catch me and Roger—well—doing what we were doing," she said. "And, Finn, it's a good thing."

"Fucking! I said. "Cheating! Cuckolding me! That's what you were doing, and now my marriage and my woman are gone, and it's over. Eleven years in the toilet," I said. "And you are actually trying to tell me it's a good thing!"

"Heavens no! I mean yes," she said. "All it does is prove that I love you and only you," she said. I think I was going cross-eyed with something—rage, confusion, something.

"You're insane!" I said. "Looking back, I should have expected it. You just couldn't keep your word to me. Goddamn it, I blame me! I'm the stupid jerk for damn sure. You're just a whore! Stupid is worse!"

"Finn, hear me out. Let me prove to you that my playing is no threat to you," she said. I remained silent. What could one say to the kind of insanity she was selling in any event. Damned if I knew.

"You are a hundred times the man Roger Wilcox is; well, in every way but one. You are at best mediocre in bed. Roger is something else."

"How long," I said.

"Huh?" she sighed. She seemed to lose a little of her self-assurance, but she shook it off and reseized the initiative.

"Two years. I met him at one of the parties we went to. I felt his dick through my dress while we were dancing, and well, I had to have it; and, so I did."

"Two years? Two fucking years!" I all but screamed.

"Calm down, Finnley. Think about it. Two years, and you and I have done great, been great, are great. You have to give me that," she said.

"Yeah, I'll give you that, April. Yeah right! And now it's all ashes. Thanks a helluva a lot.

"No good in bed am I? Well, I am so sorry for disappointing you for so long, I mean the eleven years. I'm happy for you, I mean now that you've found a real man. You know, now that you have found someone who can fulfill your needs.

"I'll be leaving, in the morning. I won't be back. Oh, and I won't be divorcing you. You can have the pleasure of doing that. What I also won't be doing is supporting you anymore. 

"So, just do me a favor, okay? Stay the hell away from me," I said.

"Finn, Roger, is a decent sort, rather boring other than in bed; but there, in bed, he is nothing less than spectacular. You are spectacular too, Finn, in every other possible way it is to be as a husband and friend," she said.

"Friend? Not lover, Not love of your life. Friend? Acquaintance? I don't want to be your goddamned friend, April, I wanted to be your husband, the love of your life. Not some goddamned cuckold fool. Fuck you, April! Fuck you!"

"Finn, your language! Please. Listen, Roger is a plaything, nothing more," she said. "You and I can get by this. He's just a toy. And, he will be gone one of these days, and he'll be nothing more than an amusing memory. And, have I ever denied you sex? Anything in bed? The answer is no, Finnley, and you have to admit that."

"Amusing memory! I'll say it again, April, fuck you!

"Oh, and as for not denying me sex. No, you haven't, not in absolute terms; but more and more in recent times I've had to beg for it, all but argue with you. It's gotten to the point that I've stopped asking in case you haven't noticed. Oh, and now that I think on it, you haven't noticed have you. Well, and why would you? Your needs are being met, just not by me!

"When was the last time we did it, April? Do you recall?"

"Well—I—I'm not sure..." 

"Exactly. It was three weeks ago, April. And when we did do it that night, you laid there like a dead thing until I shot my wad and then got up and showered. And you didn't even kiss me good night when you came back to bed. Yeah, you've been a paragon of sexuality when it came to me all right—not!" I said.

She had the decency to look down. Maybe even feel a little shame.

"Oh my God Finn, I didn't—I didn't realize what I was doing to you. You know, acting like you say. But, now that you say it, I guess what you say so—and well—I'm sorry. I will make it up to you if you let me," she said.

"You need to get this, April. I'm saying it for the last time; then I'm going to bed, in the guest room. I will never spend another minute in the bed you desecrated with that asshole. And fuck you!" 

"Finn, we'll get rid of the bed. I wasn't thinking today. I wasn't. I don't know what I was thinking using our bed. Jesus what a Dumbo I am. You are so right, Finn, the bed is gone. We'll both use the guestroom. Okay?" she said.

"No," I said. "I can't stand the sight of you. Or the smell of you, the stink of a cheater is on you, April, his stink. You and I will never sleep together again." I started to head off and out, but stopped. 

"April, one thing. When we started this conversation you said, well, you said a lot of things; but there was one thing. You said that you hadn't set me up, but that you expected me to catch you; and that that was a good thing of sorts. Did I have that right? I mean why was it a good thing for me to catch you?" I said. 

She was starting to cry, but wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I thought, that maybe—well maybe—that Roger and I could maybe excite you. You know get you excited enough to join us. What we, he and I, were doing. It hasn't hurt you and I, Finn, not really. Like I said before. But, thinking about what you just got done saying, maybe it has. Honest to God, I didn't realize I was neglecting you like that. I am so ashamed of myself, Finn. Really, I am. I'm just hoping that you'll cool off some and maybe give me another chance." I nodded, then shook my head. This was beyond belief, beyond rational—unbelievable!

I headed off to get my stuff out of the bedroom closet and the bathroom. I'd be gone at first light.

Her? She sat on the couch, head in her hands. I don't think she was full out crying, but she was kind of talking to herself—weird.

******

I was up and out of the house—almost—before she got up. She woke just as I stepped out of my bedroom door and ran after me as I carried my stuff down the stairs. "Finnley, don't leave me. Please!" she wailed. I turned and looked at her.

"I'll call in a day or two and we'll maybe talk. Or, maybe not," I said. "I just don't know. After what you said to me about my love making skills; well, that more than even what you did to me, may have put us beyond the pale. There may be no reconciling from those, those words, April. But, like I said, maybe we'll talk." Then I was gone.

******

Carlisle estates was a five minute walk from my office at Hampton Accounting. Mike Hampton had been good to me, but it'd still taken me ten years to make it; but I was finally a senior accountant with the firm: profit sharing, bonuses, a slew of really good perks. All of that added to a $100K annual base. Life'd been good until the light of my life had cast a shadow over it. 

Carlisle was a condo complex that had all of the amenities including Debra Cross, my new next door neighbor: young, pretty, and on the make—for me; go figure. Debra was doing her best to make me forget my wife; and yes, April was still my wife. Divorce wouldn't work for me the way I saw it. The courts have a habit of screwing over husbands no matter how justified they'd been in divorcing the miserable whores they'd married. If the traitorous bitch wanted out, she'd have to be the one going for it.

Since dumping her, I'd buried myself in my work. It was tax time, so business was—well—busy. I had an even six junior accountants under me, and production was good. I was looking forward to the end of season, maybe taking a few weeks off and heading to Mexico for sun and relaxation. I was even thinking of inviting Debra to join me. It'd be nice to share a beach towel with her; she was a no pressure girl; the kind every guy dreams about. 

As I walked home thinking about Debra and my maybe vacation, a car pulled up beside me. The driver called out to me to wait. He looked familiar, but I couldn't place him, not right then.

He came up to me and gestured toward the bench a few feet down the sidewalk from where we stood. I looked him askance.

"Just like a word with you if you have a minute, mister Matson," he said. I still couldn't place the guy—a customer maybe. I took the seat he indicated.

"The name's Roger Wilcox," he said. "I'm the guy you caught banging your wife that day some months ago." I could feel my mood darken. I got up and started to walk away. So far I hadn't spoken a word.

"Wait please," he said, as I walked on. "It'd be worth your while." I stopped and looked back at him.

"Whaddya want asshole?" I said. I was measuring him with my eyes. We were about the same size, five-nine or ten. I figured him to have maybe twenty pounds on me. But, I figured, if it came to blows, my chances were pretty good.

"Your wife—she hasn't been doing too good," he said. "Thought you should know."

"Why, she's not mine anymore. She dumped me for you. So fuck off and leave well enough alone," I said. "You take care of her." I started to walk on, but he fell in beside me."

"Look, guy, it's been more than eight months since you left. She hardly leaves the house. And, before you ask, yes, I'm staying there; somebody has to pay the rent," he said.

"Lucky you. Take care of my roses, okay. They took me a long time to get them going."

"Roses? How about your wife," he said.

"She can help you take care of them," I said.

"Look, I know you're upset with her—us. But, you needn't be. She wants us to include you in the fun. She was sure you'd go for it; well, she was hoping. And, what we do is fun," he said. "Since you left we've only had sex a few times. She keeps hoping you'll come to your senses and realize that you belong together. She loves you, man. She likes me, likes my eight-inch dick, but she loves you."

"Well, let me put it this way, mister Wilcox; she was wrong, dead wrong. I actually believe in the sanctity of marriage," I said.

"No way I can convince you to see her, talk to her," he said.

"None," I said.

"How incredibly plebian," he said. "Well, I guess I'll have to go to plan B then." 

"Goodbye, mister Wilcox; you have a nice life," I said. Just then another man came up to me and handed me an envelope.

"You're served," he said. I looked at him like he had two heads. 

"Cost me a grand to have you served; she didn't have the moola," said mister Wilcox. "For the record she didn't want me to do it; thought we'd done enough to you already. But, I told her it was the only leverage she had; so, she went along."

"I don't care about this. I figured she'd go for it sooner or later. There's no leverage for her in this," I said.

"Sure there is. You don't go see her and give her a chance to sell her wares—her ways—she will absolutely rape you in the divorce. You'll be drivin' around in a thirty year-old Datsun, and wearin' shoes with holes in the soles," he said.

I could feel my face go pale. I'll counter sue on grounds of adultery. She won't be makin' out as good as she thinks she will," I said.

"Maybe, maybe not. But, here's the deal: plan B. You give her a week to sell you on her ways, and she'll sign off on a divorce with no alimony, no touching your retirement, no support of any kind; and, she'll leave you alone forevermore. Whaddya say?" he said.

"She'll—the both of you—will leave me alone? I mean forevermore? And, no nuthin' in the divorce for her or for you? Am I hearing this right?" I said. 

An idea began to take shape in my head. I'd record her promises. What did I have to lose? It'd be painful being around her; well, I still loved her. Seein' her, smellin' her, it was going to be tough. But, it would only be tough for a week. Then, I'd be the hell outta there. She was imagining things if she thought I was going to buy into her idea of a lifestyle.

"Yes, that's what I'm saying," he said. I nodded.

"Deal," I said.

******

I'd made the deal, and I had a plan. So, here I was parked in front of the house. I was parked, I was here, and I was nervous, plan or no plan. I knew they wouldn't be able to convince me to accept their shit, but the odd thing was that it scared me that she was so sure that she could! What was it that they knew that made them so sure; and, was I really so certain that they couldn't corrupt me? I opened the car door and got out. I took my time getting to the front door. I knocked.

"Hello, Finn," said April.

"Hi Bud," said Roger.

I just nodded at the two of them. It had to be obvious that I was very suspicious of their game. But, the recorder in my pocket was—presumably—getting it all. 


Finnley and April Matson



"Let's adjourn to the kitchen if that's all right, guys," said April, taking charge of the situation. I still hadn't said anything. I followed them to what used to be my kitchen, mine and April's. Now, it was his and April's. I looked wistfully around. Helluva thing. I actually felt uncomfortable sitting in the same old chair at the same old table, staring at the same old walls. 

I noticed that she'd let me sit in the place I always had before: my place. Likewise she sat in her old seat. She'd planned. I was sure of that, I could see that.

"Can I ask a question?" I said, asking a question.

"Of course, honey," said April. Honey? I thought. This was going to be a full court press if ever there was one. I ignored her words.

"Why do you want me here? Why do you give a damn about me or what I need or want or any of it? Why do you even care if I live or die? It makes no sense," I said.

"I'd tell you I love you, but you wouldn't understand that, I'm sure. How about this. I did you wrong, and I feel guilty and want to make it up to you. Or, how about you make a lot of money, and I need you to support me. Or, how about I'm hot for your body and I can't get enough of your lovin'" she said. "Frankly, Finn, all of the above are true to one degree or another. And coming full circle, all of that brings me back to square one, Finn; I love you."

"I can't satisfy you in bed, April. You've told me so. What's changed? Let me answer my own question, nothing," I said.

"Finn, I said stuff kinda like that, but my meaning was nothing like that. What I meant then, and even now, is that you're not as good as Roger, but you're not all that bad either. You're okay actually," she said.

"So again, what can I do for you?" I said. She smiled—way too broadly—actually I was worried.

"You'll be sleeping with me in our old room," she said. "And, Finn, so you won't feel uncomfortable about it; it's got a new mattress and box springs; they came today; they've never been used. Okay?" 

I raised an eyebrow at that. But, I'd had to figure she'd been plotting something of the sort to "sell her wares." I nodded my acceptance of my fate.

"Okay," I said. "If that's my fate. It is what it is."

"Finn, please. For the next few days, please. Okay?" she said.

"Okay, okay." I said.

"He'll be in the guest room for the first couple of days," she said, nodding in Roger's direction.

"Huh? What?" I said. I was more than afraid I knew what she was intimating.

"Don't sweat it, Finn," he said. "It'll be fun. Give us a chance. Okay?" I nodded, but more slowly this time; and, I wasn't smiling.

******

Dinner was good, beef stew, my favorite. Did I say I figured to get the full court press. Dinner was good, as I said, but it was quiet. No one seemed ready to start jabbering. A few inane comments and observations, all of it about nothing, were pretty much the end all of it.

I helped her with the dishes—well, she asked. I didn't know what happened to him, the other man, but he'd made himself scarce after dinner. I kept getting knowing looks from April. I was more than sure what they meant. I intended to just go with the flow. Let her take the lead. I was not, I repeat, not, going to be complicit in their plans. I'd play their game because I was relatively certain that she would honor her promise to leave me alone in the divorce, and I was going to have it all recorded in any event. At any rate, she'd get her turn at bat, but her chances for hitting a home run were damn near nil. Yeah, her luck figured to be more like Casey's than Babe Ruth's.

I was drying my hands on a small hand towel. "Time for bed, okay?" she said.

"Yeah sure," I said. She smirked at my lack of enthusiasm but said nothing.

In the room, I disrobed leaving only my underpants on. I plopped down on the bed and waited for her to exit from the bathroom. She was maybe ten minutes in the process. I looked over at the bathroom door as she came out. She had seldom looked more beautiful, more sexy. I said so.

"You look fantastic," I said. She smiled. 

She was in a knee length slip and sported a red choker and what looked like a silver anklet. I wondered at the anklet. I remember reading somewhere that when a woman wore an anklet it meant she was available or some guy's plaything or something like that. I had to think it signaled that she was Roger's toy, but for the moment all I could think of was making her my toy.

Her long dark hair splayed out around her shoulder and gave her a teenagerish look. She came near the bed but didn't get on it. She stood a few feet away and stared at me, a half smile playing around her lips. God how I wanted her! But, also didn't want her. A week like this could have me on my knees begging her to let me come back, but the humiliation, the daily psychological riot: I knew I couldn't do it. I waited for her to make the first move.

"You said I look fantastic. You going to do anything about it?" she said, finally wrinkling her brow and showing some signs of concern. I guess I had on a—what—thoughtful look.

"You should be mine and mine alone, April. God, how I want you right now. But, you're not mine. You're his. And—we—I—think it is just too sad. My underpants, tented but a moment before, no longer were. I rose, gathered my clothes and started dressing.

"What are you doing, Finn? What are you doing!" she said.

"I'm dressing. I can't bed you knowing that it's nothing but a mercy fuck to get me back for I don't know what reason, maybe my income, I don't know. But, I can't. I need a one man woman. I'm afraid I'm not cut out to be a cuckold. Go to your boyfriend. It'd be a shame to waste all that beauty on a nothing-in-bed item like me," I said.

Just then she did something I didn't expect. I mean I really didn't expect it. She came at me with surprising strength and pushed me down on the floor. It happened that I was just then pulling on my pants, and I was on one foot; I went down easily. She rolled on top of me and began kissing me and reaching for my cock.. She was, I think, shocked to discover that I wasn't hard. She stopped, slid off of me, and sat up on the floor drawing her legs back to her chest. She was more embarrassed than I was; and, I was embarrassed!

"Do I turn you off that much," she said. She was beginning to cry.

"Hell no," I said; "or actually, yes. What you are doing and have done and plan to do to me: those are the things that turned, and are turning, me off.

"I can't do it, April. I can't. I can't be your cuckold. I just can't get it up for a woman who is of the opinion that I'm no good in bed, no matter how desperate I get. I thought I could get through the week, but I realize now that I can't. Seeing you like that, when you came out of the bathroom, trust me; I was—am—desperate!" I said.

"Finn, I love it when you make love to me. I do. I don't think you're no good in bed. Yes, Roger is very good, but he isn't you. I'm not trying to get you back for your money. I'm trying to get you back because I need you. I need his dick too, but it really is only a part time toy! Nothing more! Jesus, I'm sorry, and I mean forever sorry, that I said those things to you. I had to have been out of it mentally to have said them. I don't know. All I do know is I want to take everything I said back! Please, grant me the 'mercy' to let me take back the stupid stuff I said. Please!" she said.

"I've said it before, April. But, I'll say it again. My woman must, that's must, be a one man woman. So go ahead and sue me for divorce. Screw me over if you must—if you can. Nothing you could get from a judge will even begin to hurt me as much as what you've already done to me. And, 'me,' be here when you do him! No fucking way! I can't at all believe that I even considered it. But, I've got my head out of my ass now. So, goodbye, beautiful lady. Goodbye," I said. I'd kept dressing while we talked. Done, I looked around for what I figured would be the last time. Then, I left.

******

She watched him from the door way as he slept. He was a pretty boy for sure: not too tall, some gray flecks in his otherwise dark wavy hair; but a pretty boy. He was having a dream; the tent in his pants was testimony to that. She could feel the tears run down her face as she moved across the room and climbed into bed with him. She needed to be comforted. Women always needed to be comforted, she thought to herself.

He stirred. He rolled toward her and his eyes flickered open. His head suddenly jerked up from the pillow. "What? How? Finnley?" said Roger.

"He left," said April. "He said I looked fantastic, and up and left. Said being my cuckold was more than he could bear. But—well—I think it was more a case of what I'd said to him before. You know about him not being all that in bed. God how I wish I could have those words back. They killed his heart," she said.

"Yes, I'm sure it probably did. I don't know what you could have been thinking when you told him that. It was crazy, April. A man, any man, wants to believe he's enough for his woman. You verbally castrated the guy when you told him, that he simply wasn't enough. Destroyed his self-esteem; he doesn't have any anymore. I don't know that you'll—he'll—ever be able to get it back now. And I mean his manhood. If he does, you can bet it will be a long time in coming," He said. Her tears were nonstop now. 

"Jesus, Roger, I was only trying to be honest with him. I told him that in every way but the one, he was tops," she said. She didn't immediately notice the look on Roger face when she spoke,

"April, I know you didn't mean to hurt me just now, but you did. I mean, I love it that you think I'm the best in bed. But, I have some good points besides just in there, don't I?" he said. She looked at him funny. 

"Listen woman, just now, you as much as said that I'm no good at anything except sex. Or, at best no better than an also ran compared to Finnley. Now the fact is, that as bad as that sounds to me; and trust me, it doesn't make me feel good; I can live with it. I can because the most important thing to me as a male is the fact that I'm supreme in bed. I couldn't live with my woman thinking that I was a nothing sexually. As a man that would be just too hard for me to swallow."

"Oh, Roger, I wasn't putting you down. Of course I wasn't. I love you too: different than Finn, but just as much. 

"Oh hell, I can't stop shooting zingers at my men no matter what I do, can I," she said. Roger looked away.

"Oh hell, is right, April. Make that 'Oh hell Finn should've been here to hear you'. Maybe it would have made him feel a little better, just as it made me feel a little worse," said Roger. 

"Huh?" she said.

"Loving two men, even if it is for different reasons, April, is a tough go 'round. I can dig what's going on in Finn's head. He had you all to himself, and then you up and tell him the game's changed, and he has to share you. Had to be pretty tough for him. Even tougher than we—the both of us—thought. 

"But, then again, me maybe not so much. I came in knowing I'd be sharing a married woman, so my expectations were different. Even so, and that said, you telling me that he is better at everything but sex is kind of a tough nut for me; just not as tough for me as it is for him being labeled worthless in bed. See what I'm getting at, April. Two men is too hard, and that for the two men and for you, April. I never thought I'd say this, I mean ever. But—well—it may be that you're going to have to choose," said Roger. Her eyes shot open.

"No!" she said. "Roger, I can't lose you. I need you." She suddenly lost her voice. Her almost unconscious decision became clear, clear to both of them: if she were made to choose, it wouldn't be Roger. 

"I see," said Roger. "I see."

"Roger, I need you. Don't make me choose. Please don't make me," she wailed.

"I don't mind being second in line, April, so long as it's sex you're keeping me around for; but..." he started.

"But?" she said.

"But, all this this weeping and wailing over the absence of numero uno is getting to me, and to you. We have to try again. Make that I have to try again," he said.

"Try what? You try what?" she said.

"Try to get him to join us, at least tolerate us. You tried and failed. I guess it's time I took my shot. I hope he likes to drink beer—free beer. Because, if I can work it, he and I are going to get stinkin' drunk and come to some serious understandings. I'm gonna get him to go along even if I have to fight him. Don't be surprised if you get a call to bail the one or the both of us out of the slam," he said.

"He'll not fight you, Roger. You're muscles are too big," she said. He smiled at her 

indulgently.

"Don't bet on it. A man will risk anything if his ego's been stepped on hard enough, and his has. I will, however, be doing my level best to avoid that scenario; even though, it might be cathartic—and I mean for him—to get it on with me. Anyway, we'll just have to see how it plays out," he said.

"Rogggeeerr!" she said.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. No catharsis if it can possibly be avoided. I promise," he said.

"Don't worry. I'm not after him. I want him to join us. It's selfish of me, actually. I don't want to lose what I have with you; and, I know I will if this situation we've

******

"Hampton Accounting," I said, picking up the phone.

"Hi," said the female voice on the other end of the line.

"Debra?" I said.

"Yes, sir, it's me. I'm across the street at LaRue's. It's lunch time, and well, do you have any plans?" she said.

"No, as a matter of fact I was just going to stay in, but if you're interested in company..." I said.

Yes, yes I am. Come on over if you can," she said.

Debra and I had shared a bottle or two in recent months, and even did a little dancing and hand holding a couple of times when we both were feeling a little down, or, in her case bored. Nothing serious was likely to happen between us, but she was pretty and tall and sexy if a little light intellectually. And, I liked her. And, she liked me.

"Haven't seen you in a couple of weeks. Where'd yuh disappear to?" she said. 

"Just been busy," I said.

"Been negotiating with your wife, or soon to be ex or..." she said. I was going to have to rethink my impression of her intellectual capabilities.

"Yeah, sort of. But, it doesn't look good from where I sit. She is still trying to get me to join in her cute little sex games, and I'm not into it. Truth is her thinking, her ideas, would be a turn on were it not for the fact that she holds me to be sexually boring and well, useless.

"Oh, she wants me back right enough; there's not much doubt about that, but not in the capacity of a thrilling bed partner. In that regard, it would be strictly a matter of her granting me mercy and faking orgasms to satisfy me enough so as not to not have me objecting too strenuously to her fucking good 'ole Roger or whoever," I said.

"But why?" said Debra. "Why would she be wanting you back if she is already more than satisfied with this other guy, this Roger?"

"I don't know. My income maybe. I make three times what he does. She swears it's not the reason. Swears she loves me. But, well, I'm not convinced, not really," I said.

"Hmm. Then, you should date me. I make enough so as to remove any suspicion that I'd be after your money, and I like you a lot," said Debra.

"I like you too, Deb. It's—it's—it's just I can't cheat on her. No fun in the sack for me until we settle it all. If we get back together, I'm gonna make damn sure she doesn't have anything to hold over me. If we don't, I'm gonna be after you with both hands," I said. I was smiling broadly. Well, she'd made me feel good.

"Hmm, okay," she said. "I can wait—a little while." Now she was smiling, sort of.

******

I was at the far end of the bar. Marge Cassidy was on duty and doing her duty rather well, a fact I was infinitely grateful for. She had tenure at the King's Court Bar and Grill: been serving drinks behind the same bar for twenty years or so she claimed. I was tilting back my second brew when somebody tapped me on the shoulder.

"Finn," he said.

"Wilcox! Get the fuck outta here. Leave me alone," I said.

"I'm not going anywhere until you hear me out," he said. I slid of the stool I was sitting on and did my best to stare him down. He smiled. 

"Look, Finn, she loves you. You need to give her the chance you said you would the last time you and I talked. It won't kill you. She..." My first punch took the wind out of him the second one staggered him.

"Getting the message, asshole?" I said. He was back pedaling, but keeping an eye on me as I trudged after him. He stopped.

"Okay, I guess we gotta do this," he said. 

"For real," I said

The other patrons in the bar were stone silent. No one was making a move to do anything to interrupt the proceedings.

He threw a couple of jabs my way and the second one stung, but not all that much. Then he was on me. The next thing I knew some woman was wafting smelling salts under my nose. It was one of the bar girls.

"Stand aside, please" said a voice from behind her. She stood and backed off. The paramedic s took over. I was more or less conscious again and beginning to feel real bad. But all of a sudden I felt myself getting mad. 

Where is the motherfucker," I said, trying to get up. 

"Take it easy, fella, you're kinda busted up. Let us do our job, okay," he said. The paramedic said. 

Somebody in the ambulance hooked me up to an IV. I was out in less than a couple of minutes.

The light filtering through the window shades woke me. A nurse was fooling with some machine or other across the room from me.

"Miss? How long?" I said. 

Since last night, sir. But the doctor will give you the details," she said. And he did.

"You took some pretty significant hits to the head. And, I think you hit your head on a table edge. We'll be keeping you for a day or today to be sure your okay," he said.

"Okay," I said. I was already getting tired again, sleepy.

******

"You just had to hit him, didn't you, Roger. You're bigger than he is. You had no right," said April.

"April, he attacked me. I was afraid he would, and I did my best not to be provocative. Really!" said Roger. She seemed to deflate some.

"I know. I guess I know," she said. "I so want to be with him right now. But, I know he'd probably have me kicked out."

"Maybe. You never know. April, you are a good person, woman. And, I do want to say, again, that I am so appreciative of you coming down this morning to bail me out of that place. It was getting pretty bad for me in there. I'm not used to that kind of treatment. Nobody should have to go through that stuff—ever!" he said. "I'll tell yuh, I'd almost rather be where Finnley is than where I was; and yes, I know how awful that must sound."

"No problem, sir," she said. "I will always be there for you. And for him too if he'll let me. God how I love that man and all I ever seem to be able to do is hurt him: either his heart or now his body." He nodded his understanding of where she was coming from.

"You know, April, this is the hospital cafeteria. He is just upstairs. You could go up and see him. You know look in on him. To be honest, I'd like to know he is going to be all right too. I feel bad puttin' a hurt on him like that," said Roger. "He bumped his head going down. I couldn't help it; he was coming at me real hard. There was no quit in the guy last night—none," he said.

She was about to respond when she saw him. "Roger?" she said.

"What?" he said. 

"By the entrance, in the wheelchair," she said.

"Oh my God!" he said. "And he's being wheeled this way."

"He seen us," said April. The orderly wheeling him in brought him up to the table.

"Yes, right here, Mack," I said. She was less than ten feet from me, sitting on the other side of the table that separated us, and next to the man that had put me in the wheelchair. 




Finnley and April Matson



"I see you've brought your main man here to gloat, April. You bail him out. The nurse told me they'd arrested his ass," I said. She started to get up as if to come to me.

"Finn, no-no. You've got it all wrong. We came to—well—to see that you were going to be okay?" she said. "Really."

"Well, now you've seen. Do I look like I'm okay! Is my own personal whore satisfied with seeing me in this chair? Tell me. I'd really like to know," I said.

"Finn, that's crazy! Of course I'm sorry you're hurting. Really, I am," she said.

"Finn, you've no call to refer to your wife as a whore," said Roger, daring to speak for the first time. "And as for you being in that chair. Your memory can't be so bad that you don't remember attacking me first. I didn't want that fight, Finn, You forced it."

"I forced it. Well, maybe, but you caused it. You fucking her behind my back—and—in front of my face, if it comes to that, caused it. You do realize that, right, Roger baby," I said. I tried to stand, fell backwards and a little to the side and landed on my ass on the floor. It was humiliating.

Roger was the first to my side trying to help me up, but as I half rose to my feet, I brushed him off and once again landed on my ass for my trouble. He leaned in to help me again. "Fuck off, Roger baby, I've had enough of your help already. Why don't you go help my wife out? I mean she's always in heat. She needs you a lot more than I ever will, or so she has on more than one occasion assured me."

"Finn, stop that kind of talk, right now," said April, finding her voice. By now the orderly was helping me up, and his practiced hands were able to successfully negotiate me back into the chair. He checked me out for any serious damage I may have done myself; and then, having asked me a few perfunctory questions wheeled me away and out of the caf; or, put another way, out of harm's way.

The only thing faster than me, at that moment, as I tried to escape my embarrassment, was April. She was all but actually running from the room. To what purpose she was running was to me a mystery.

******

I was out of the hospital the day after our meet up in the cafeteria. I felt like an idiot having tried to go at him again. But, in my defense I was so angry at seeing him there with my wife—my fucking wife!—that I had to do something. And the odd thing? I was now sitting across from my wife, in our old living room, waiting for her to say something. This after she, just two minutes before, shooed Roger out so we could talk. The man had actually had the brass cajones to tender me a small wave and a half smile as he left. I had no words, but my mouth was hanging open a yard, I was sure, as he exited.

He'd stayed the fucking night with her while I was laid up! And "fucking night" was a very accurate description of the situation I was sure. The woman had no shame. But, I had to hand it to her; she did have gall. And gall not merely related to Roger having stayed the night and screwing her; but also, the gall to dare to call me to ask me to sit down with her and talk—again. And, like the total jackass that I am, I was indeed sitting here waiting for her to make her case.

"How are you feeling? " she said, as her opening gambit. I didn't answer; I just stared and it wasn't a friendly stare.

"Okay-okay. Sorry," she said, "I understand. You're not feeling the best. I mean your injuries, and, well, and seeing him here just now. I didn't expect you till a little later. When your friend called to let me know you'd agreed for him to be bringing you here, he'd led me to believe that it would be later in the day. So, yes, I understand.

"Can I ask you a question, Finn?" I nodded, still not having said a word.

"Do you really hate me?" I sighed.

"For the life of me, no, I don't hate you April. I could never hate you. But, I do hate what you've done to me, and continue to do to me," I said. She nodded.

"Second question? Do you hate Roger? I mean for doing what he's been doing with me?" she said. This one I had to think about. I didn't answer her right away. She took my silence to mean that I did hate the man.

"I unders..."

"No, April, you probably don't understand. But, to answer your question, in point of fact, no, I don't hate the man. The truth is I feel better about him than I do about you; I mean in terms of what he's been doing to me. At least he's single. In another universe, he and I could maybe have been friends. But..."

"Wait-wait-wait a minute. You don't hate him?" she said. "Then why the fighting and the name calling and all of it?"

"I didn't say he didn't make me angry. You both make me so angry," I said. "But, anger is not the same as hatred. I don't hate people, April. Sometimes, I hate what they do, but not the people, at least none that I have ever personally met."

"Well, thank you for that. I know it doesn't make everything better between us, but it does make it all kinda less bad—I guess is the way to say it," she said.

"Whatever," I said. "But, now I have a question for you. You knew this one was coming right?" She nodded.

"Yes," she said.

"What do you want from me? Are you going to stop seeing him? Was last night the final show with you and him? And, do you see me as some kind of wuss that is going to just put up with all of this stuff," I said. She smirked.

"That's four questions," she said, stating the obvious. "But all fair ones. Let me take them in reverse order if that's all right, Finn." I nodded.

"Okay," I said.

First off, I do not see you as a wuss or any other bad or lesser thing. My God, I don't. You are every inch a man, a good man, and you are my main man. Yes, yes, I know you don't want to hear that you're my main man; you want me to say that you are my only man. I get it. But, that said, I'd be lying if I said what you wanted to hear, and I've told you enough lies already and there will be no more of those. So, a wuss, no; my only man, no; my main man, yes.

I eyed her with the purest of anger emanating out of me, but I stayed shut up for the moment.

I can see what I've said upsets you, but please, grant me the chance to answer all of you questions before you go off on me. Okay Finn?"

"Okay," I said, but I said it through gritted teeth.

"Second, your questions two and three are actually one question. The short answer is that whether or not I keep seeing Roger or whether or not last night was my last night with him are kind of a matter of what happens here and now.

"I want to keep seeing him, Finn, and for the same reasons I've already laid on you in past conversations. But, if I can't get you to go along with a proposal I am going to make, I will give him up, and last night will have been my last night with him. Frankly, that's what I told him this morning. I mean that last night might have been our swan song. I won't kid you, Finn, while I will be trying my damnedest to be the one man woman you are demanding; it will be hard. I might not be able to; I might lapse back into my old ways. But, I will try, and I just might be able to, to be a one man woman that is. I'm shaking in my boots that I might fail you—and myself. So, please get this, and I have said this before too. You are more important to me than is Roger. If I am forced to choose; it'll be you every time. But, all of above said, here is my answer to your first question," she said.

Her words were having a calming effect on me. I could not have said why; or, maybe I could. I think her words were convincing me that she did love me, but that she was weak and unable help herself; at least such was so in the past.

I had gone pensive. She snapped her fingers to bring me back to the land of the conscious. "Finn?" I came out of my trance. She nodded her realization that I was back with her and listening.

"So, what do I want from you? Boy is that a loaded question. Finn, ideally what I want is for you to join us. To let me have Roger occasionally, say once or twice a month. For you to join us if you want, in any way you want, doing whatever you want. That's my ideal situation. It would be a major cut back for me and Roger. We'd be going from twice a week to a quarter of that; but it is something that I could actually do. And, I might add, that if anything, you agreeing, would make my love for you grow exponentially; I mean you allowing me that much latitude.

"Okay, I guess that answers your questions," she said. "Do you have any others?"

"At the moment, no," I said. "I have to think. I'm hurting, April. I'm hurting kinda bad. My injuries are not completely healed, and the Percosets they've given me will definitely be used up before this is all done and over with. And, then there is all of the things you've said about my lack of sexual prowess. I mean, why would you want me around when he's there to ring your chimes; I mean if I'm so nothing in bed? The only possible answer to that, April, is to keep me mollified, so I don't go off on him or you in the future." She started to interrupt, but I held up my hands to short shank her. 

"April, I need to think. But, right now, I want to lie down. We'll talk again, and I'll give you my answer. Okay?" I said.

"Okay, yes, okay," she said. "I'll be here when you're ready. It doesn't matter if it's next week or five minutes from now. I'm here for you."

"Okay. See you later," I said. I headed back to my place at the Carlisle.

******

When one's got a choice to make the people from Tennessee know how to help. They distill a whole lot of sour mash and serve it on the rocks. The wisdom to be found at the bottom of each glass is truly amazing. 

My choice? To go home and put thoughts of divorce on hold. In other words I dodged making a straight up decision to dump my wife's sorry ass, and see what might be made of a situation that up to this point I have been, and actually remain, intolerant of. She met me at the door.

"Hello Finn, I sure am glad you decided to give me—us—a chance," she said.

"Okay, well, I'm here. We'll see how it plays out," I said. We took our seats in my—our—old living room.

"Are we good?" she said, sitting across from me on the couch; I'd chosen my old rocking chair.

"Don't know. I guess what I want to do is go back to the deal we had before: you trying to sell me on your idea of a marriage," I said.

"Okay, yes, the offer's still good for sure, Finn. And, I promise you that you will not be sorry, no matter what you finally decide," she said.

"Good. So where is my rival?" I said. She sighed.

"Finn, Roger is not your rival, not in any respect, not even in the bedroom. You will always have first dibs on this ass of mine no matter what. And, if at the end of the week you want to kick him out; well then, he's history. But—I hope you won't, kick him out I mean. 

"Anyway, to answer your question, I asked him to motel it tonight. I wanted you and I to be able to—well—rekindle some of what we had," she said.

I smirked. "You sure you won't be bored with boring old me?" I said.

"If anything is true in all of this, Finn, it'll be that I am going to be a nervous as a tick with you tonight," she said. "Bored? "Hell no!"

I didn't say, but I think were both thinking it: I wasn't even able to get it up for her the last time we almost did it. Would that be happening again? I honestly wasn't sure. I didn't think it would, but I just couldn't bring myself to feel confident. 

"April, well—I just hope I don't disappoint you. I've decided to give this thing of yours, this idea, the old college try; but..."

"You'll be fine, Finn. I can feel it. A woman can tell," she said. I nodded.

******

She came out of the bathroom wearing the exact same teddy she'd worn the time of our abortive first try at this. She was dazzling as far as I was concerned.

This time she wasted no time, but came directly to the bed and rolled herself on top of me. She smiled down at me. "Glad you decided not to wear anything this time, not even your skivvies," she said. "And if that hard thing pressing into my belly is what I think it is; well, I don't think we're going to be having any significant difficulty," she said.

We kissed for some minutes, making out like a couple of high schoolers. She slid down my body and played with my dick while I jerked and spasmed at the ticklish sensation she was producing. Then, she mounted me and rode me for all she was worth. I literally blasted the insides of her vagina as I came and came and came.

She swung around and sat on my face. "Eat me out my husband. Eat every little swimmer you sent into me," she said. I didn't have to be told twice; I licked and sucked at her for some little time; she jerked and wiggled and ground her butt onto my face desperately, I thought, trying to cum. She stiffened; I was sure she had. Well, if I couldn't get her off with my nothing dick at least I could with my mouth.

We lay beside each other each lost in our own thoughts.

"I came," she said. "You got me off." I didn't respond. I didn't want to think she was lying to me, but how could I be sure. And, not being sure, I didn't want to sound like the desperate man-thing that I in fact was. I stifled an impulse to ask her how I compared with Roger. 

"I'm glad," I said, finally. We slept. When I awoke some hours later, I could smell the coffee even upstairs where we were. I looked to my right and she was sleeping soundly. Roger was home, and he was making the coffee; it had to be him.

I pulled on one of my old robes, I had three, and went down stairs. He was sipping what was probably his first cup. I got me one.

"Well, how was it?" he said. "Are we still in the ballgame?" I didn't answer him right away. I stopped stirring my coffee and took a sip.

"Maybe," I said. "Too early to tell."

"Did you get her off?" I gave him a very hard look. He got the message.

"I didn't ask to see if you were successful; I asked to see if 'you' were satisfied with your performance. Frankly, at this stage that is actually more important than what she thinks," he said. I looked him askance.

"Huh?" I said, not getting what he was talking about.

"I know your ego was pretty well shattered by things. You need to get some of that back and that right soon. I know it, and I'm sure you know it," he said. I snickered.

"Maybe," I said. "Anyway, she said I got her off, but she could have been faking it for her own reasons whatever they are."

"Dick or mouth?" he said. He was getting mighty personal, but this whole week looked to be about being personal.

"Mouth. Oh, I did fuck her twice. She said I did fantastic, but we both knew that that wasn't so. At any rate, I am sure she never even got close to making it while I was screwing her. But, like I said, she did make it once when I ate her." He nodded his understanding.

"She told me she was going to be completely honest with you. But, maybe not about how you perform with your dick. I'm pretty sure you did get her off with your mouth though, like you say. Can I ask, was it before or after you fucked her?

"After," I said. He smiled. 

"Okay, you did get her off then. Whenever she has cum in her and her man eats her out; she goes freakin' nuts. Oh, you got her off all right if you ate your cum out of her.

I stared at him. "Whenever her man...?" he knew what I meant.

"We've done some threesomes. Been a while, because, well, because of you; but we've done 'em," he said. I nodded. I didn't know why, but the news that she'd had threesomes with Roger didn't surprise me an iota. 

We kinda fell into a silent mode. I was thinking that he'd likely be part of the action that night, and I didn't know, didn't have a clue, as to how I was going to handle it if he was. What he was thinking, didn't matter as far as I was concerned, but it had to be the same thing that I was, or so I rationalized.

April interrupted our daydreams. "Hi guys," she said. She was in an all too buoyant mood. Me, I was scared or worried or hopeful or all of the above; I couldn't have said. But, the way I saw it, she shouldn't have been acting like it was another fun day at the park.

"Hi," I said, without a great deal of enthusiasm.

"Mornin', girl," said Roger.

"You guys have a chance to talk?" she said.

"A little," I said.

"Yeah, a little," echoed Roger.

"Well, good—good," she said. "It would be a wonderful if you two could just get along for the next several days." She glanced hopefully at each of the two of us in turn. "Last night was good for us, right Finn?" she said.

"Well, it was for me. I mean I got off pretty good. Hope you did too," I said. "I mean you said you did, the one time for sure."

"Do I detect a 'but' in there somewhere?" she said.

"No, no buts. It's just that it's hard to believe that I could have improved all that much in the last couple of years, especially in view of the fact that I haven't had a whole lot of practice," I said. She feigned a frustrated smile.

"Finn, you were fine. You got me off three times. I think it was my attitude before. I actually kinda turned myself off, if you know what I mean. But last night, well, I was into it; that, and your own skills made me able to cum. I blame myself for before," she said.

"Really," I said. I knew she was lying of course. I knew that at most it was the one time, and that with my mouth not my dick."

"Yes, really; I'm not kidding you," she said.

"Okay, whatever. Anyway, as I said, it was good for me," I said.

"So, what about tonight," said Roger, interrupting our unstated disagreement. April looked the least bit nervous. 

"Well, tonight—all three of us?" she said. It was a question more than a recommendation or soft peddled mandate. The question was aimed at me. I shrugged.

"Okay, then," she said, "tonight it is. Is anyone else nervous besides me?"

Roger snickered. "Yeah, well, I am; hell, I think we all are," he said, looking at me.

"Yeah, a little, I guess," I said. April came to me from around the other side of the table. She touched my cheek; it was a light touch, almost feather light.

"Tonight you are going to find out just how good it can be for us, my husband," she said. I saw Roger, out of the corner of my eye, flinch when she referred to me as her husband. For the first time, I began to believe that maybe I really might be the stud of choice; I mean if push came to shove. Oh, I had no illusions of ever being numero-uno in the bedroom, but overall? Yeah, I was thinkin' that maybe I was the big cheese after all, indeed after all!

******

She was gorgeous and she was standing there looking from one to the other of us, myself and Roger. The two of us were naked as the day we were born; we'd followed her instructions in that regard. And, yes, he was twice my size, a fact that bothered me, but at least he hadn't made anything of it. I should say that the fact was that he hadn't even smiled when he'd seen my four-incher. That truth got him a degree of appreciation from me. Had he been—how shall I say—arrogant about it; I would likely have been out of there in short order. As it was, my ego was still reeling from all that April had done and said to and about me. No, another hit, one by him, would have put an end to everything, about that there was precious little doubt.

Did I say she was gorgeous; well, she was. Her dark hair was curled and cascaded to just below her shoulders; her makeup was perfect; her heels were five-inchers no question. She was clearly wearing no bra, but the black, knee length slip she wore hid her charms effectively from the two males who coveted them. Oh, and she smelled like heaven. Resist her? Not possible, not and still claim to be a sentient male on planet Earth.

She walked over to us and chucked each of us under the chin. She was loving this. I watched her as she—what—languidly lay down on the bed. She crooked a finger at me. I could feel my face flush with embarrassment. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. Oh well.




Finnley and April Matson



"You get me first, my husband. Roger would stretch me too much, and I want you to have a good time; that's the most important thing tonight for me, and for Roger too. Right Roger?" she said. He had a look on him that looked suspiciously like jealousy; but, his words were the right ones; the ones that April had undoubtedly drilled him on.

"Absolutely," he said. "No, more you being voluntarily out in the cold, Finn; we want you to be with us, and that all of the time."

He actually sounded convincing. Well, sort of. But, it kind of bothered me that he said I would be joining the two of them, not him me and April. But, I let it slide. It was almost like my subconscious mind was looking for a way to ruin the night. But, it wouldn't. I was seeing to that. I was going to give this week its due, and hope for the best. Did I believe that a good outcome was possible? I don't think I did. At best it was a huge assed maybe.

I knelt beside her and then lay on top of her. Sliding down, I began licking her labia. She adjusted her position and when she did I looked up slightly and saw her winking at her lover. For some reason that bothered me. It was like she wasn't into paying attention to me; she would endure me, try to make me happy, but the reality was that I was just a cheapass opening act for the main event: big cocked Roger.

I slid up her and tried to push my cock into her. She looked at me with concern on her features.

"Finn? We okay?" she said. 

"Not sure," I said. "Could you help me a little? I'm not hard enough yet." Suddenly she looked terrified.

"You bet," she said, smiling the phoniest smile I have ever seen. She grabbed hold of my cock and started lightly stroking it; that had always gotten me steel hard in days gone by. It was working to a certain extent: she helped feed my cock inside of her and I began to push and pull. I got a rhythm going and lasted for maybe three or four minutes before I made a small deposit inside of her. I shrank out of her almost instantly. 

I rolled off of her, and lay on the bed more than a little disappointed in my performance. I hadn't even gotten close to getting her off with my mouth and certainly not with my worthless dick. I was ashamed of myself and on the verge of wimping out and crying like a baby, my humiliation was that total. But I didn't; I held it together—for the moment.

I lay there beside her, as she had instructed me to do, and watched as my better took care of business. He ate her out, yes with my cum, what there was of it, still inside of her topping her hair pie. I mostly watched him, but I stole a glance or two at her during the exercise. She was torn. I could see it, feel it. Torn between letting herself go and enjoying what he was doing to her, and wanting to hold me and reassure me like the little boy I was acting like. I swallowed hard many times in the next half hour. That's how long super-duper dick took to do her. She came at least three times; I could see it when it happened. Never, had I been able to get a reaction like that from her. Humiliated was an understatement. 

I figured it was like she said: whatever my good points were, and no matter what they were; I was damn near worthless in bed. Fuck! I wasn't even average, not even below average; I was nothing! And, now I knew it.

Shit! The sonovabitch was still semi-hard; he just came and he was still able to do it. She played with his balls for a few moments, and then sucked on him for a moment or two more, and he was good to go. He flipped her over on her belly, pulled her ass up high in the air, and entered her from behind. 

Spittle dribbled from her mouth onto the bed as he drilled her and she mooed and ahhed in ecstasy. He was the bull, she the cow, and I was humiliated observer. 

******

The morning brought me zero comfort. We'd all slept in the same bed. Not much talking after the last go: a feeble attempt by me to get her off with my mouth; and yes, I ate his cum just as he had eaten mine. But, well, I ate a lot more of his; so I guess I was ahead, I thought bitterly. Too, I had to think that I had ruined the night for them, but in my defense I just couldn't help it. It was what it was.

They were down making coffee while I showered. I needed to be a lone for a little bit. I was terrified. A whole week of this? Jesus, I couldn't do it. Not if I was going to be unable to do any better than I had the night just gone. No way!

I dressed and headed down to get what I was sure would be a lot comforting platitudes, none of which did I want or need. Hell, I didn't know what I needed.

They were still in there robes. I was dressed in jeans and polo shirt.

"Morning, Finn," said April.

"Morning," I said.

Roger nodded and lifted his coffee cup to me in greeting. So far he'd not said anything. I figured that maybe April had given him instructions. But, who knew.

"Finn?" she said.

"Huh?" I said.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yes, I'm fine,' I said. "It's all a little new to me. Not my cup of tea. Maybe someday, but not yet. You know?" I was actually making sense. I wasn't much of a lover, but I began to think of myself as a helluva good logician.

"I blame myself," she said.

"No, no," I said. "It was me. I have a lot to learn if I even can. I know I'm not..."

"Finn, Roger has asked me to ask you if he could talk to you a little bit. Would that be all right, you know, alone," she said, interrupting me. I shrugged.

"Yeah sure, no problem," I said.

"Okay," she said. She smiled at me, at him, and then left us to our devices. I saw her head upstairs; I guessed she was going to wash the stink off of her."

I was sitting across from him. "Kinda disappointing for you last night wasn't it?" he said.

"A little."

"You don't want to continue, do you?" he said. I looked him askance. I sighed.

"Not really," I said. "I mean—hell, I don't know what I mean,"

"Finn, it's decision time. You love her. I love her. You're good at making money. I'm good, well, at what I'm good at. She's gonna have to choose," he said.

"Choose?" I said.

"Between us. This is the deal. She knows I'm bringing this up, but not what I'm going to say about it, not exactly," he said.

"And?" I said.

"Well, like I said this is the deal. If she chooses, it's going to be you, Finn. You can do more for her than I can. I make thirty-eight-K annual. You make, she told me, over a hundred-Gs. Goin' on three times what I make. She's gonna choose you. And, apart from the money; you're a good guy. I like you myself. But, Finn..."

"What, Roger. What are you trying to say?" I said.

"You need to walk away from her."

"What the fuck?"

"You will never be able to satisfy her, Finn. Buy her stuff, yeah; but satisfy her? Not happening. And you'll know it. Every time you bed her you'll try, and you'll fail. After a while you'll stop trying and sex between you will dwindle down to once in a while, maybe once a month of uninspired coupling. 

"And, you'll know it's you. And, she'll know you know it's you. She'll give you lots of sympathy and encouragement, but mostly sympathy. And then she'll cheat on you, Finn. And, someone like me will make you his cuckold, as I have made you mine. And, he likely won't be as nice as me," he said, he smiled as he said this last. For the life of me, I smiled too.

"Anyway, that's my two cents," he said. "It's up to you now, Finn. Wished it could've worked out for us all. But, I guess it just wasn't in the cards,"

I just sat there and stared at him. I'd heard him. I'd gotten angry. I'd gotten sad. And, finally, I'd gotten my head out of my ass. He was right—oh so very right!

He got up and headed for the downstairs head. Well, he had a lot of stink on him too. Me, I was fresh as a daisy. 

April came down the stairs and looked around for him.

"He's in the downstairs bathroom," I said. "April, you and I have to talk."

"Okay, Finn," she said. I sat there stirring my coffee.

"April, I love you. But, I will never—never—be able to satisfy you. I'm going to set you free. I'm going to give you the house, and everything in it but my personal stuff.," I said. She sat there and stared at me.

"What the hell!" she said.

"Calm down. We've got a hundred and thirty grand in the savings. You get all of that too. I'm just taking my personals and my car. Marry Roger. With all I'm giving you; you two will do fine—economically—as well as in bed.

"Like I said, I love you, and I always will, but I don't want to see you settling for a man who's half what you deserve—literally," I said, smiling at my unintended pun. And, I don't want to spend the rest of my life frustrated as I try to measure up to that which I never can measure up to. I can't do it," I said. She was clearly stunned.

"Finnley, I..."

"I'd appreciate it if you and Roger would go out to breakfast. I need an hour or two to get my stuff together and leave. 

"April, if you ever need me for anything—well—you know where to find me," I said. I got up and went out to the patio. I waited till I heard the garage door open and close. They'd gone out.

I got my stuff together in a total of forty-five minutes. I was gone before they got back. I was glad for that.

******

Give "time" enough "time" and "time will make things happen—trust me.

The divorce had been an easy one. I gave her the house and most of the savings; that satisfied her on an economic level—I'd kept ten grand as startup money for a new place; I didn't need much, and I had my retirement plan which was never even mentioned in the divorce, nor was alimony. Some would say I was on easy street. I was a constant visitor to LaRue's. And, I was lonely. Helluva thing. I am sitting at my usual place right now celebrating the final divorce decree which had come down just two days past. Well, okay, crying in my beer.

It's the holiday season now. And, I had gone to the company Christmas party, but there I'd turned down two generous—from my coworkers—invitations to spend Christmas dinner with them. I just wasn't ready for a lot of holiday hurrahing. And, truth known, I was feeling a little melancholy. Things had gotten better as time passed, but I was still feeling a bit unsure about getting back into the dating scene or even hanging out with the boys. As for the girls; well, I already had a pretty good idea of what my reception from them would be. And, listening to a bunch of guys make jokes about sex and women and their undoubted superior bedroom skills didn't appeal to me either.

I hadn't heard from either of them since I left. That's almost seven months gone, now; but then, I hadn't done anything to contact them either. But, it couldn't last. I did hear from them, well, from her. 

As I mentioned, I was ensconced on my usual seat at LaRue's sipping the last of my third manhattan when she slid onto the stool beside me.

"How yuh doin' stud," said April. I gave her a look. And, I had reason to. She was pregnant.

I didn't miss a beat. "Stud?" I said. "You must be looking for somebody else. I have it on really good authority that I'm not only not a stud, but really pretty much worthless in the sack. So, like I said you might want to be continuing your search." I turned back to my drink. 

"Finn. I'm sorry, I meant it, my comment, to just be a pleasantry, nothing more," she said.

I guess I believed her. "You and Roger are prospering," I said, indicating her belly. She smiled. "Oh, and I'm okay."

"Really," she said.

"Yes, really. My bartender loves me," I said. I looked down the bar and saw that Harry was watching me. "You love me, right Harry?"

"Sure bet cowboy," he said. He went back to washing glasses.

"See, I am well loved," I said.

"Yes, clearly," she said. "You got plans for Christmas Day?" Red flags! She was going to ask me to come over. That was the absolutely last thing in the world I wanted to do. Seeing them together would not be good.

"Yeah, yeah," I said. "A couple of people asked me to come by. So yeah."

"Oh. Okay, I just thought that if you weren't busy..."

"Yeah, well thanks," I said. "You guys are having a get together then?" I said. "Family and all of that?"

"Actually, Finn, Roger and I broke up. Haven't been together since you left, or actually a couple of days after that," she said. That surprised me.

"Somebody else take his place?" I said, again indicating her belly. Okay, I was fishing, and I didn't even know why I was fishing.

"No, no, I'm alone now. Aunt Melba and aunt Dora are coming over for Christmas, but no men," she said.

"You're pregnant. I assume it's Roger's kid, but you and he broke up?" I said.

"No, it's not his," she said. I was beginning to get a really really hinky feeling right then.

"Then?" I said.

"Yours," she said. "Oh, and It's going to be a girl."

"Mine? You say it's mine!"

"No doubt about it," she said. Her smile carried only a tad less buoyancy. 

"And, you want me to come over—on Christmas Day?" I said. And, yes I know it was a stupid question. I was still processing the new info.

"How about 3:00PM if that's convenient," she said. I nodded. I didn't trust my voice.

"April, this is for real?" I said.

"Oh yeah, stud; it's for real."

"April, the stud remarks..."

She looked down. "Okay, you're right. But, it wasn't meant bad," she said.

"Okay, okay, just lay off. It's fine. Things are fine," I said. "You want a coke or something?" Well, hell, she was pregnant.

"No, I have an appointment. I have to be going," she said. I looked her askance, but I didn't prod her. I wanted her gone, so I could think. There was not a scintilla of doubt that she could prove it was mine. So what did I want to do now. Go back with her? Just pay up for the kid and let it go at that? Something else? What else?" 

******

I was still at the Carlisle. Debra was still taking care of me on the side though sex per se had been more or less rare. I think she was holding out for more commitment from me before she gave up very much of her well-defended mead of honor. And, well, I wasn't sure I wanted to go that route just yet. And, it wasn't her; it was my own insecurities that was holding me back. I mean if I wasn't enough for April, how was I going to satisfy a girl ten years my junior. The answer to my mind was obvious: I wasn't.

"Bullshit, Finnley. I know you care for me, and I care for you. You need to get over whatever the hell it is that's keeping you from committing to me," said Debra. 

"Deb, I'm ten years older than you. Your friends are damn near teenagers. Hell, I'm thirty-four and damn near an adult for chryssakes."

"Oh my god, no! Not an adult!" she said, laughing out loud. "Finn, I'm twenty-three, an almost-virgin, and pretty talented in lots of ways. And, I have one thing else that I know I can lay claim to."

"Yes?"

"Yes, I have you by the short hairs. I know you can barely control yourself around me," she said. "So, get down on your knees and propose." I looked at her like she was a crazy woman.

"You did hear me when I said I will be seeing my ex on Christmas day, and that she says I'm the father of her yet to be born little girl. You did hear that part, right?" I said.

"Yes, and so. You pay child support, have the new little honey in your life—our lives—and we get on with building our life together. Oh, and I'm going with you to her house on Christmas Day," she said.

"Oh, yeah, I can see it now, the other woman comes with her ex to ruin her Christmas. That'll go over large," I said. She began pacing. 

"What about her old boyfriend. That Roger guy you told me about," she said.

"What about him?" I said. 

"We bring him along with us."

"What! She broke up with him. I told you that," I said.

"Yes, well, it's time she forgave him for what he did and get back with him; that way she won't be left out in the cold with no one to wipe away her tears," she said. Ah the very young: to them nothing was impossible. But, something began percolating around in my head.

Would he come if we brought him? I didn't know why they'd broken up. Maybe it was something real bad. Maybe he cheated on her. Maybe it was about her pregnancy. Well, I was nothing if not resourceful. "Okay," I said. "It's a long shot, probably, but it's worth a shot."

*****

He stared at me like a vision from his worst and long forgotten nightmare. "What the fuck?" he said.

"Yeah, and I remember you saying something like that to me," I said. He took on a kind of stunned or something look.

"Yeah, I guess," said Roger.

"Can I come in?" I said. He hesitated, but stood aside to let me pass. An hour later, found me standing once again at his door; this time on the inside ready to leave.

"Thanks for the brews," I said. "So you'll come with us then."

"I guess. I never would have left her, but I was sure I'd lost the war once I knew she was preggers and I wasn't the daddy. Like I said, I was just cutting my losses." He said.

"Well, maybe you can salvage your feelings for the woman now," I said. "My new woman will definitely be rooting for you. Still, all of what we've said this past little while may just end up being the final period on the sentence, if you get my drift. Or, just maybe the beginning of something good. By 3:00PM on Christmas day we should know for sure one way or the other."

"Yeah, well, maybe so," he said. We spoke for a few more minutes, but the die had been cast. Barring any last minute snafu we were in business, at least to the extent possible.

******

The three of us stood in front of the door to the house that April and I had shared for so long, and for that matter that Roger had been based at for a goodly length of time as well. I knocked.

"Coming," said a voice from probably the kitchen within. The door opened only a nano second faster and farther than did the mouth of April Matson.

"Finnley? What is this. Who is this woman? And Roger? What are you doing here? You dumped me months ago," she said.

"Who is it, dear?" came the voice of another woman from somewhere back in the house. "Is it Finnley?"

"Yes, among others," yelled April. She looked back at the three of us; her eyes were narrowed and focused mainly not on me, not on Debra, but on Roger—I thought that telling.

"Well, you might as well all come in," said April to the lot of us.

Roger had his marching orders, and surprisingly, he accepted them; and, more surprisingly, he'd accepted them from me! 

Pleasantries and greetings over with, Roger pulled April aside.

"April, could we go into the kitchen together. I have some things I'd like you to help me with," said Roger.

Aunts Melba and Dora by this time had come out of the kitchen and were smiling to beat the band. They of course knew about me and Roger—well they'd gotten a sanitized version relating to me and Roger—which as it turned out served the moment well.

The initial conversation between Debra and myself and April's aunts was animated. Then, a sudden questioning silence engulfed us. I smiled.

"It's this way, aunt Dora, April's true love now is Roger. Debra and I—well—Debra and I are an item," I said. "But, we're all still friends and all of that," I said.

Aunt Dora gave the youngish girl next to me the once over. "Hmm," she said. Which really mean that she thought that I was robbing the cradle. Well, hell, I was only half convinced that I wasn't myself.

I looked in the direction of the kitchen. Other eyes followed mine. "Yes, Finnley, we're all wondering the same thing; well, I'm guessing," said Melba. Dora nodded her agreement.

******

"You know of course that the others," she nodded toward the front room, "are wondering what the heck we are doing," said April.

"Yes, I expect that so," said Roger. "But, okay, am I back in your good graces?" she nodded.

"Yes, I guess so; and, if what you say is so, it is just something else that I have Finnley to thank for, something else that I owe that man," she said.




Finnley and April Matson



"Well, in this case, I guess we both owe the man, as you say," said Roger. "Whaddya say we join the crowd?"

"Yes, I think we should," said April. 

"Here they are," said aunt Melba.

April cut right to the chase. "You are a piece of work aren't you, Finn," she said. I felt my mood darken—well—until she finished her spiel. "And, I thank God for it and for you. In order not to belabor the issue on this the most important holiday of the year, let me say the following. Your plan, if that's how to term it, worked. Roger and I are together again. Similarly, you and Your new woman are always welcome here, and especially so today; I mean if I even had to say it." I nodded.

"Well, thank you for that, April. And, I am happy for you and your new—well new old—man." Aunts Melba and Dora were looking back and forth between us like we were putting on a soap opera of some kind. Well, and I guess we were in a sense. Roger started laughing and Debra was doing her best to not laugh and losing in her attempt.

April stepped forward and took Debra by the hand and led her kitchenward. "Come on Deb, me and the ladies need a little help in the kitchen. You guys get a beer or something," said April. "We'll call you when dinner's ready." With that, the women all headed for the gossip chamber.

Roger and I were left standing there all but holding our dicks. "Well, if she hasn't changed things that much there should be a frig on service porch for drinks and such," I said.

"It's still there," said Roger. "Let's invade it and take our booty out on the patio."

"I second that plan," I said.

******

I'd felt that I had to step outside for a few. They'd known each other for less than three hours and were already acting like best buds: Deb and April that is. Roger had gone to the store; he'd asked me to go along, but I'd declined. Melba and Dora were cleaning up with the help of the girls; hence, my little single-o tour of the pool area. Well, I wasn't exactly alone either; I did have my pal with me—Jack Daniels.

"Whatcha thinkin' about cowboy," said a voice from behind me? I turned.

"Nothin' much, April. Nothin' much. Just coolin' it for a bit," I said.

"I guess everything worked out. For the best? Well, I guess we'll have to see about that down the line," she said.

"Yeah, maybe," I said. "Where's my girlfriend?"

"She's inside. I asked her if I could have a word with you. She said okay," I nodded.

I walked the few steps it took to get me to a seat at the little patio table and waited for her to say what she wanted to say.

"I love you, Finn, always will. But, that said..." she seemed to run out of words. But, she regrouped.

"I guess the sex thing was bigger than I thought it was. For the life of me, I can't justify not begging you to take me back. Actually, that was exactly what I was planning to do tonight, but you, in your infinite wisdom, decided to short shank me. You brought me a present: the only man who ever had a prayer of coming between us. The irony? He was doing his damnedest to not do that. He left me months ago because he knew, was sure that all I really wanted was you back. Hell, it was all I wanted.

"But, this afternoon, when I saw the three of you at the door; well, I wanted him. I wanted you too, but I wanted him right now! At first I thought that the chickee you brought along, Debra, was his new girlfriend. But, then I realized that if that were true he wouldn't be here. No, it had to be your new girlfriend. And she's a princess by the way. I like her," said April.

"Yeah, she is that," I said.

"Yes, well, I wish you both all the best. Anyway, Roger and I have talked. We have some fence mending to do. I said somethings; he said some things, well you can imagine. But that was months ago, and I have cooled down a lot, and so has he. I think we'll be okay."

"I hope you will, April, and Roger too. Debra and I will be getting married pretty soon. She wants me for me. And, if she doesn't kill me in the sack, we're going to be fine too.

"Okay," said April. "Anyway, that's all I wanted to say."

"And it was well said, April. We'll be getting along all of us. The day will dawn and we will all be doing okay. I'm sure of it," I said.

******