44 comments/ 53720 views/ 23 favorites Feuer Frei By: Colinthedog "My turn" I looked at her as the PC was booting up. "C'mon, let me have it Lucy told me about this story website, we might get some ideas from it." She said, an excited smile on her face. "What?" I asked as I moved from the desk. "Lucy told me about this website, she told me it had really spiced up their love life." Without answering I headed out to the kitchen. "Coffee?" I called through. "Yes please hun." I made us both a cup of instant and carried them back through to the study. "Now what are you on about? What website and why are you bothering, is there anything wrong with our love life?" "Nothing is wrong with our love life, but you never know we are not too old to learn something new." she said as she took her cup from me. "Learn something new, fuck me love I know damn well we have pushed the boat out further than most and I would guess more than anyone we know, and certainly more than I would ever admit to doing. To anyone else we would seem like a couple of perverts. Not only that, I don't think I would like to try anything I could think of, that we haven't already done. "Yes hun, but it wouldn't hurt to look." I nodded in agreement. "Ok lets have a look." I scanned through the categories. "look at this shit, Incest, non consent, that's just fucking sick. I have no reason to read anything under those titles, in fact I can't see me interested in reading anything here." "How about this one." she said clicking on a link. A list of new stories filled the screen, she clicked on the first one. We read it together. It was about some bloke whose wife was having an affair and was rubbing his nose in it, literally. "Fuck this shit, who would stand for something like that?" I said with disgust "It's just fucked up." She didn't comment. She clicked on another link, this one same premise but this one the husband stood up for himself, kicked fuck out of the guy and kicked the cheating bitch out. "That's more like it." I said. "That is what would really happen." "Don't you think if he loved her enough he could get over a little fling?" She asked "Don't you think if she loved him enough, she wouldn't have a fling. " I countered. "No, when you marry someone you give yourselves to each other, you belong to each other." "Are you saying you own me?" "Yes, as much as you own me, as I see it we own each other." "What about if I wanted to share you." "With sharing the implication is there would be another person with us, which would mean I was sharing you." "But you had threesomes and more before we got together, I know you did." "Yes, before we got together, and if you had wanted to when we got together I would have had them with you, before we were married." "Why then and not now?" "We're married now, why is that difficult to understand." "Well yes, but I thought it might be fun." "Fun, maybe, but once you cross that line as far as I am concerned we are no longer married." "Not if it was by consent." "Yes, even with consent, as I see it we would no longer be espoused, not a couple, we would just be fuck buddies." "That's ridiculous, nothing would have to change." "Nothing apart from commitment for a start, then the gradual effect that even a one time experience would have on some very important foundations of a relationship." "Such as?" "Honesty and trust come immediately to mind, but I could probably come up with more in time." "You're being silly." "Am I? Let us look at honesty in a hypothetical swing situation. We pair up with another couple and spend the night with each others partner. Would either of us be happy telling the other it was truly incredible, better than they had ever had, especially if the first to speak had said it was a poor experience. There is your honesty gone. Would either of us really believe the other if they said it was so so, especially if they down played it. That's trust out of the window, and as soon as they are damaged, jealousy will rear it's ugly head and just compound it. On top of that could either of us be as secure in believing that their partner wasn't having a replay behind their backs. "Okay okay, maybe you have a point, just maybe, but I thought we had a strong enough relationship to last." "Until tonight, so did I." The look on her face told me I had finally got through to her, time to change tack,I stood up and said curtly. "Forget it, I have had enough of this conversation and if you think I would go along with it you are out of your fucking mind." "But!!" "No, you're mine and mine only, the second you are not mine only, then you are not mine." "But, it ....." "I said fucking no, and I had better not find out you have been up to something." That was it as far as I was concerned, she was obviously upset at what I had said and things were definitely cool in the bedroom for a week or so. Over the next few weeks our sex life had slowly returned to almost to normal, then one night she wanted to play the dominant role again, which I had always enjoyed but we hadn't done it for a couple of months, The last time I had let her tie me up had been a few days before that conversation. It hadn't gone so well, it had taken a sinister turn and I hadn't liked the result. "Just gentle restraint hun, like when we first started tying each other up." I don't know whether it was her powers of persuasion, or my eagerness to get our lives back on track but I let her. So there I am tied, arms and legs stretched out, with an erection she was teasing with her fingers, nails, lips and tongue, taking me to the verge of coming again and again, but stopping the stimulation just before I shot my load. "please" I begged for the umpteenth time. She lifted her head up to mine, lightly scratching around the head of my cock with her fingernails, enjoying the power, savouring my helplessness then she hit me with it. "Why not bring someone else into the mix?" and dove her head down and engulfed my now rapidly deflating penis. I said nothing at first, the shock of her actually asking again really pissed me off. "We've had this conversation. Now untie me." She stopped trying to revive the dead and looking me in the eye stated "Not until we have had this conversation, the last time you would not listen to what I had to say and I was so nervous it didn't come out properly." "We have had that discussion, there is no fucking way it will happen and we will stay together. Now let me go and if you are serious about us fucking other people you can start packing after you release me." "Oh yeah, what are you going to do if I called someone over and fucked him in front of you." I looked at her, I don't ever think I had been so angry. Through clenched teeth I said. "You had better make sure it is some cunt you don't like, because you will never see him again after I get hold of him." She left me alone, I heard her going downstairs, I think I could hear her talking on the phone. Then I felt helpless and frightened, what if someone was about to arrive when I could do nothing about it. "Right free me now." I demanded when she returned. She reached over and started to play with my cock and balls. "Fucking stop, stop now and let me the fuck up. Jesus Debra fucking Aberystwyth." She carried on, ignoring our safe word. "For fucks sake Debra let me the fuck up, I am not fucking around, Aberystwyth, Aberystwyth, Aberystwyth." "You don't really mean it." "Yes I fucking do, let me up now." by now I was angry, really angry. I thought she would obey the safe word quicker, she was meant to obey the safe word immediately, not just if she felt like it. I was past thinking, I was just angry and scared, that was until I heard the doorbell ring. I fell silent, now I was terrified. She left me and headed out of the bedroom. I struggled against my bonds, but she had tied me too well. I could not move, all I managed was to tire myself out and give myself a few rope burns. I did not hear her return, it was only when she appeared in front of me. I looked to see if anyone was with her, thankfully she was alone. "Get these fucking ropes off now bitch, this has gone too fucking far." "Sorry, sorry, I thought it would be fun." she whimpered as she started to untie me. "It might have been a couple of months ago, but now, since you've had these stupid fantasies. Now I am not sure if I can trust you enough. Especially now that you have ignored the safe word. Fucking hell what was that all about, and who the fuck was that at the fucking door?" Now she looked frightened. "Uh, er it was er Lucy." "So you wanted to let her fuck me so you could fuck some man, was that the plan?" She stared at me then nodded. "Right that's enough. We had one hell of a sex life until you got us looking at that crap. Now we are just going through the motions. Fuck me I haven't had a proper orgasm since this all started." I glared at her. "I thought I was going to have one just now but you fuckin' ruined that didn't you." "You've come five times last week." "I ejaculated, it's not the same as an orgasm." I retorted. "I don't think you have had as many, if any at all for just as long." She said nothing. We looked at each other for a while , eventually I broke the silence. Do you remember all those years ago, when we first started to experiment, to stray from what we are taught as normal? We had two rules. We would not tell anybody else and we would not involve anyone else. I can't help but wonder what you and Lucy have been talking about, as I see it, you listening to her has involved someone else, never mind your ridiculous plan. So c'mon time to spill the beans. How much of our kinky side have you told her?" She blushed, " I thought it would be ok, she told me so much about the games that she played with Brian." Taking a moment to gather herself she continued. "She's told me much more about her experiences, and she has done more extreme things than us." I stared at her. "Her and Brian, they make us look vanilla." "For one, I don't care what they do, only what we do. I notice you haven't answered my question." She pursed her lips and looked down. "What have you told her?" "E, everything." "And has she done everything we have?" She nodded. "How can you be sure?" "She told me." "Yeah, I'll bet she told you she wouldn't tell anyone else too." "She won't say anything she has told me too much, she wouldn't dare." "And what my dear has she told you that is such a big fucking secret." She looked down and shook her head. "I can't tell you, I promised." I looked at her with disgust and went downstairs. I poured myself a large rum, I noticed the time, it was gone twelve. When I returned I asked. "So why should you keep promises to her when you can't keep them to me? Fuck me you have broken the first two fucking rules with her. Do you remember what I said about honesty and trust. Do You," I was shouting now. "How the fuck am I going to trust you enough to do that ever again." "S' sorry but it's B' Brian; he is a submissive." I looked at her. "What the fuck does it have to do with me, us?" "It's not like us, he is completely submissive, when they are alone he dresses differently, they, he , she does whatever she likes to him." "Is that why you ignored everything tonight, destroyed my trust in you? What do you mean?" I don't think she even heard what I said, she just continued telling me about Brian. "He wears plastic clothes, he drinks her piss, he calls her mistress and he eats her.......Eats her afterwards." "Afterwards, why's that so, bad?" "A'after she has been with someone else, she has lovers." I looked at her with disbelief. "What? You want....? You expect....? I was shouting I was so angry I had difficulty finishing a sentence. I told you there was no fucking way I would share you and you want me to do that shit. Don't you remember? The first time you suggested it I said no fucking way, and I think it's time you stopped fucking thinking about it. I don't even know why you would entertain the idea that I would even think about it." "L'Lucy. It's just she said it was so much fun, and even Brian said he really enjoyed it. Lucy said that as you were already so submissive that you would love it, she said she thought that you wanted it. She told me that you were just embarrassed and couldn't admit it to me." It took a while before I answered her, a while before I had gotten my anger under control. "Well, perhaps, just perhaps, Brian's mistress told him to say that, or perhaps he just wants someone else that he knows doing it as well, possibly so he doesn't think his life is as fucked up as it is. Have you been reading these stories about twats that try this." I reached over and turned the PC on. "Divorce, murder, prison or suicide is how most of them end up, often two or more of them, now shift your arse and I'll find some examples." I went to get another rum and another pack of fags, when I returned she had the site up and had moved from the chair. It didn't take me long to get a few tabs up with different stories on. "I've noticed a few with this theme, for varying reasons wife drugs her husband and he wakes up strapped to a chair or a bed and she fucks someone in front of him, then her lover sticks his cock in his mouth and; or, she makes him go down on her." I paused, my anger was riding. " Well if anyone tried that with me I would bite and bite hard and wouldn't stop till my teeth met. Whoevers genitals were stuffed near my mouth. Or how about this one, he says no and she turns up with a lover and they bully him into putting up with it. I will tell you now if you tried that with me, he would not get to the bedroom and he would leave in an ambulance." She smiled at me, the fucking bitch smiled at me. "Darling you are five foot six and only weigh eleven stone what about if he was a really big blond adonis." I looked her in the eyes and realised that there was already someone she had lined up or already doing. I said quietly with as much menace as I could muster. "I am now wondering whether you are fucking someone else already, and now I know all this bollocks tonight was just some harebrained scheme either to get me interested in whatever you and your slag mate have cooked up or to ease your guilt. If that is the case then you are fucking a dead man and when you get out of hospital you can divorce me." "Nooooo, darling I'm not, I'm not shagging anyone. I was just curious because of what Lucy said." I looked in her eyes as she spoke, her eyes said she was speaking the truth so I believed her, but she wasn't going to get off that easy. "You sure? You seem to be trying hard enough to push me into something I have already said no to." I threw my glass against the wall, it shattered leaving a dent in the wall. "Perhaps it would be best if you fucked off to him now? Get a few shags in while you can, before I find out who the cunt is." "I am not sleeping with anyone but you." "In that case you must have someone lined up, you just described him fairly well." "No there isn't anyone, there isn't." This time I could see she wasn't telling the truth. "Is it one of Lucy's sperm donors?" "There isn't anyone." I said nothing and went to bed. I lay deep in thought when she came to bed some ten minutes later. "Are you asleep?" she asked I lay saying nothing. "I haven't cheated on you." she whispered. " I haven't." "Yet" I thought to myself. It was hours before I got to sleep, by the the time I dropped off I knew what I had to do. She looked as though she had not slept much in the morning. She was apologetic and kept telling me she had not been unfaithful, that it was just a stupid idea. I said one sentence to her before I left. The same as I had asked her last night. "Is it one of Lucy's sperm donors?" I headed out for work picking up Jack my labourer on the way, when we got to the job the scaffolders hadn't quite finished so we sat in the van and had an early breakfast. We sat watching the scaffold going up for about a half an hour before Jack said to me. "You're quiet today boss." Yeah just watching those clouds coming over, It might not be worth us starting." Not five minutes later spots of rain started hitting my windscreen five minutes after that I could only just make out the scaffolders running for cover. That made up my mind there was no way we could start stripping the roof off today. "Fuck it Jack, lets call it a day." I ran Jack home and then headed to mine. I had thought about going over to see Brian but thought fuck it, he wouldn't tell me anything without his mistresses permission. I don't care who it was they were lining Debbie up with but whoever it was, he was going down and she would learn not to be so fucking stupid in future, and hopefully Lucy would also learn that if she sends her studs my way they won't be the same afterwards. I got home and picked up the post, all mailshots except one. It was hand addressed to me, after reading it I made a call. Then popped out for a while. I felt a lot happier when I again returned. Debbie wouldn't be home till after five so I had a little time to make sure of any preparations I will need for when I force the issue, and force it I will. I felt a little sorry for what was about to happen, but if she had spoken to me about it before, when her slag of a friend started filling her with bollocks, we wouldn't be here now. My preparations consisted of buying a bottle of a high proof Russian vodka, and filling my hip flask with my rum. I poured a little rum into a glass and wiped some more around my face and neck then put the now just ¼ full bottle beside the computer. I booted up the site and opened many tabs of story after story of cuckold crap. Debbie was nearly an hour late home but the information I had gotten earlier assured my not to worry. I was sat at the computer when she got through the door. "I thought you would be here when I saw the weather." No explanation or apology for being late. "Sho." I slurred. "Ish it one of Looshy's Shperm Donors that you want to Fuck" "Why do you keep asking me that." "Cush you havenent told me the troof yet." "I told yo.." "You fuckin' lied" I growled. "I shoulda got out weeks ago. "You're drunk" "an you're a sheetin' shlut, tomorrow I'll be shober an you'll shtill be a sheeting shlut." A play on something I have heard attributed to both W C Fields and Winston Churchill. I drained my glass, the first I had actually drank, my movements exaggerated and pronounced. "I am not." she screamed at me. I poured myself a proper glass and took a sip. "Well it won't be long, you and your friend Lucy, Loose Lucy ha ha ha ha , why is she looshe? you'll be looshe too. Loosh Debbie nah tha's no got the same ring Ah I know Cum dump Debbie, yeah thash it Looshe Looshy an her Friend Cum Dump Debbie pulling trainsh while you wait. Oh and their sad hubbies Joe, Joe homo and Brain the Drain will fluff them and clean their cocks afterwards. "No no thats not what I want." "Thash wha' you tole me you want, you want me to suck out, whatsisname I forgot who you said, that blonde adonish of yours.." "Shaun" She realised her mistake as soon as the word left her mouth. That had been easier than I thought it would be. "Sho is Shaun one of Looshe Looshy's shperm donors?" "Yes." she sobbed. "Big boy ish he?" "Yes." I raised an eyebrow "Er I mean he is tall, a good six foot four." Ish he jusht big becaush he's tall or.." "No, Yes Lucy said he was big." "Have you had any contact with him?" The colour had drained from her face. "We have kissed." "Is shat all?" She said nothing. "I shaid ish that all" louder this time She looked down Y'yes." Feuer Frei Ch. 02 The back door closed with a thump, he didn't say bye; I realised and I rushed to the front door, forgetting for a second it was nailed shut. I fell to my knees and cried infuriated at the obstacle. I cried for a long time before I pulled myself up and headed back to the kitchen sniffing and wiping the tears and snot from my face with my hands. "He's only gone to work." I said it out loud trying to reassure myself, before I collapsed in tears again. I wanted to know, to ask myself why. Why we might be at the end of our marriage. But I had no reason to ask, I knew why and it was all my fault; Yes I could blame Lucy, I wanted to blame Lucy, but in all honesty, I can't. It was me that listened to her suggestions, no matter how much she coaxed and coerced me, I listened to her; even though I knew I shouldn't; even though I knew it was wrong and most importantly; when Joe said no, I didn't listen to him. He said no so many times, and yet like a fool I only listened to Lucy. "Nooooooo" I screamed at the top of my voice. "No no no no no." I said, emphasising each no with a thump on the kitchen table. Knock, Knock I looked at the back door. "Mrs Jones I need to speak to you about the other night." A woman's voice. "Mrs Jones, it's the police, please open the door." Knock, knock, knock. "Mrs Jones are you alright, please open the door." I dragged myself off the stool and opened the door. I looked at the uniformed woman in front of me and burst into tears again. She helped me back to my stool. "Are you okay, can I call someone for you?" the policewoman asked. "No there isn't anyone." I sobbed. "No one?" "No, not anyone that I can tell, not that I can admit what I did, what I nearly did, the things I caused." "If you want you can talk to me" said the officer. "Shall I make us a cuppa." I nodded and she put the kettle on. "Excuse me a mo' and I'll let the station know I am busy for a while, it will stop us being disturbed." I nodded a reply and she stepped outside. She returned just as the kettle boiled. I found I was feeling better just by having some company. She made a pot of tea and brought everything over on a tray. After pouring the tea she reached out to my hand and covered it. "It's Deborah isn't it?" "Debbie, people call me Debbie or Debs." I answered choking out the words" "Okay Debbie, my name is Sandra, I am supposed to be covering Friday night, but I can see there is much more going on here than just a house invasion and attempted rape, so why don't you start at the beginning." "It was months ago, I went into the toilet at work to wash my hands. I could hear Lucy, she was in one of the cubicles, No, no not like that, she was talking on the phone to someone." I tried to smile at that, I am sure it was just an ugly grimace. "I, I now know it was Winston" I glanced toward the door leading to the stairs. "Th, the dead man." Sandra nodded and gave my hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "She was talking about sex, the weekend she had had. It was disgusting the things she said, the things she was talking about, and she was giggling, laughing, talking about other men. I was frozen to the spot, I didn't want to listen b, but I couldn't stop myself." I poured myself another cup of tea from the pot. "She finished talking and came out straight away, she saw me and knew I had been listening. I felt so guilty, eavesdropping like that. I thought she would be ashamed, try to explain it away." I sniffed "Instead, she looked me in the eye and asked me if I liked listening to her. S, she ask' asked me if it made me wet." "I ran out of the room disgusted with her b, but more disgusted with myself. Why, because she was right. I can't explain it. It was disgusting, I was disgusted and yet I was so turned on. I went home shortly afterwards, I pretended to be ill." "Still holding my hand Sandra spoke softly. "You didn't tell your husband about that did you?" "No, I should have, would have but the way it made me feel, I just felt too ashamed." I stared into my empty cup, realising that was my first mistake. "When I got to work the next day Lucy was waiting for me, she wanted to talk to me, explain what I had heard and like a fool I agreed to meet her for lunch. The first thing I said to her was I couldn't believe she was cheating on Brian and she stopped me dead when she told me she wasn't cheating, he not only knew about it but was involved. Excuse me I need the loo." I went up to the bathroom, when I saw myself in the mirror I was shocked. I hadn't done my hair, my eyes were red and my face was filthy with dried tears and snot. I was only wearing a dressing gown. I had a pee, washed and threw on a t shirt and jeans before going back down to my guest. "I made us a fresh pot, I hope that's ok." said Sandra as I walked in the kitchen. I nodded as I sat. Sandra waited for me to speak. "After that first day, she had me hooked, I wanted to know more, then she said she wouldn't tell me any more, but she implied it was something big, I begged her to tell me but she said no. The following week at lunch she introduced me to Shaun, I have to admit I found him attractive, of course I now know it was a set up, we seemed to run in to him at least once a week after that. Then a couple of weeks after, on Stacy's hen night, we were all drunk and she told me she might tell me what it was if I told her all our bedroom secrets. I told her straight that was a no no. Joe had made me promise that I would never discuss such things with my girlfriends so she asked whether I had a dirty secret, one that nobody knew about including Joe and like a fucking idiot I told her." I was trembling, why anger, fear I don't know. "She then threatened she would tell Joe about it if I didn't tell her about what me and Joe have gotten up to." I took a drink noticing my tea rippled as I brought it to my mouth, the cup rattled as I put it down. "So again being stupid I told her, every sordid detail, things I know Joe wouldn't want people to know." Tears started falling again as I faced the betrayals of the man I loved, again and again I had betrayed him, why had it not occurred to me before? Why had I let that bitch twist me round her finger? "Was it really that bad?" Asked Sandra, looking deep into my eyes. "There was a crossover point, about a month after I started seeing Joe." My head dropped with shame. "I was still seeing my previous boyfriend." I know I was cheating on one of them, but to this day I am not sure which one." "How could I be so stupid to tell her that?" I said looking at Sandra. I could see she had no idea how to answer me, so I continued my sorry tale. "She was good to her word though she started telling me about Brian's role, she got me to meet him and he told me how much fun he had, of course now I realise he was just telling me what he had been told to tell me." "You had not met him before?"asked Sandra. "Yes, but only in passing, I think Joe knew him better but not close friends." "Anyway when Lucy and Brian told me all this, she then started telling me how Me and Joe would enjoy it, I said right off Joe wouldn't go for it, but again I let Lucy persuade me that because we had .... err.. done certain things in the bedroom... err, that meant that inside himself that was what he wanted. Oh fuck I was so stupid. She then gave me a website, said if we read the stories it would put the idea into Joe, make him curious, but no, as soon as I showed him the site he went off on one, refused to even talk about it, then instead of listening to Joe, again like a fucking moron I let her talk me into doing a bondage session with him, more extreme than anything we had done before and secretly letting her in to film it. She said it would allow him to see how he responded, how it would help him accept what he really wanted and what he was denying." "Things are mixed up, around that time I met him, Shaun again one night after work round Lucy's, he kissed me and I let him, I don't know what I was thinking, I just let him I think I even kissed him back, and then before I knew it he had his hand on my breasts, not outside of my clothes but inside my bra. Thank god Brian walked in and disturbed us or I don't know what would have happened. I ran out of there." I took a deep breath through my nose making a big sniffing sound. "Why could I have not seen what Joe was saying, how could I have let her talk me into it, I mean at first, as I told you it excited me, but then it became a battle of wits, or should I say one wit and a half wit." "I've had enough tea, do you want a drink?" "No thanks I am still on duty, are you really sure you want to drink?" "I really am not sure of anything just right now apart from I need a stiff drink." I walked through to the lounge and poured myself a scotch, a very large scotch, I took a drink, put some more in the glass and headed back to the kitchen. "Where was I, ah yes. So I got Joe trussed up and vulnerable put some headphones on him so he couldn't hear anything I was doing I gagged him then went and let Lucy in and got dressed up so he couldn't be sure it was me. When I got back to him I could see he was not a happy chappy and I spoilt the illusion by taking the headphones off and trying to soothe him. He was having none of it, he couldn't say so as I had him gagged, but he kept struggling, I didn't want to give up, Lucy had me convinced that he really wanted it. I tried to blindfold him but he wouldn't let me, he kept on struggling, even when I gave up with the blindfold I still kept trying to force him to submit and go along with the plan." I broke down and cried uncontrollably. "Joe, Joe I am so sorry, I was fucking stupid, I'm a stupid bitch. I couldn't ask him for forgiveness, I didn't deserve it, he should beat me to a pulp and then shoot me, and be rid of me, that's what I deserve." "No no" Sandra's soothing voice, broke through my despair. You made a mistake, that's all." "No!" I shouted. "I made lots of mistakes, too fucking many, he'll never forgive me and I don't blame him. He'll be as fucking stupid as I was if he does." I took a large gulp of scotch and shuddered. "Anyway when I finally let him go he was really angry, he hardly spoke to me for day's." then when we did start speaking and having sex again, I thought we had gotten over it. Our sex life was different, I now know it was again my fault, in trying to make it up to him I was trying to enact out scenes from the stories on that fucking website, he bless him, was just trying to make me happy. So then I let her talk me into tying up Joe again, this time however, she would come in and fuck him so he would have to let me have another man. The thing is I didn't want another man, I really was only considering this because I was stupid enough to believe Lucy when she said Joe wanted it. You know as I sit here and tell you this, I can't believe I was that stupid, how can you, let alone Joe I will never get him to believe me or trust me again. Well I got him naked and strapped down ready and started to wind him up tease him till near to climax then stop I teased him again and again until he was begging me to let him come. Lucy was late she was supposed to have been here and taken over so I took the bull by the horns and asked him again about another person to play with. His erection disappeared in a second and he said nothing to start with. Then he demanded to be set free and used the safe word we had agreed on. I couldn't think straight I know I shout have let him go, after all that is the point of a safe word, but I was frightened, confused I ran downstairs and called Lucy, she had gotten carried away with her lovers and lost track of the time." "Ohh fuck, she was going to come here and sit on his face, get him to clean her, Oh god Joe I never realised till now." I clasped my hand over my mouth as my stomach spasmed, I just got to the sink." I retched until my stomach was well past empty, the spasms trying to rip my stomach lining from its home. "How was Joe was still here this morning? I don't want to live anymore, I don't think I should be allowed to live anymore." I said between spasms. I took a drink of water from the tap as I rinsed the sink, thankfully I had only thrown up liquid, I felt a little dizzy so I moved back to the stool, I got seated and took deep breaths to clear my head. "Are you alright Debs, you look really pale, perhaps we should get you into the other room to lie down." I could only just hear Sandra over the pounding in my ears I must have said yes as she put her arm around me and half carried me as she walked me through to the lounge. She laid me down on the sofa and sat quietly with me till the room stopped spinning, then she fetched me some more water. I sat up to drink it as I had started to feel better. "Sorry, some thing just hit me, something almost happened, then, back then when I had him tied. It never occurred to me until now what she had planned. If she had done that I am sure Joe would be in one of your cells now." "From what you have been telling me I think I can guess, and between you and me I wouldn't blame him." Said Sandra then she asked. "Do you want to continue?" Did I? I mulled the question over in my head. It was painful, but what had happened was clearer now, and as for the pain, well I deserved it and more for the things I had put Joe through, oh god no! I just remembered what Shaun said at the dinner table." "Yes I want to continue, think of it as a rehearsal I need to tell Joe all of it and only now telling you have I realised what a bitch I've been. God Joe will never forgive me, I know I said that earlier but with every word I speak it just keeps getting worse." I thought for a bit to work out where I had got to then I continued. "I, I went back upstairs he was screaming Aberystwyth, the safe word again and again, I told him he didn't really mean it and he was telling me to let him go. I was hoping she would come soon I was keeping an ear out for Lucy and instead of coming in the back door as arranged she rang the door bell. I wasn't sure it was her, what if someone had heard him, I left him again and answered the door. I didn't let her in, I am so glad now, es' especially as I now think I know what she had planned." I felt giddy again, I lay back down, taking deep breaths. I went back upstairs and released him. He was so angry, rightfully so I know, but again he started to try and make me see how stupid I had been, was being. He reminded me about our first rules of kinky sex, rule number one we should both be agreeable or it doesn't happen, rule number two no telling anyone about anything that happens in our bedroom. So I confessed that I had broken rule two, jesus I was still convinced I hadn't broken rule number one. Well to say he was pissed off would be putting it mildly and when I said I had only shared it with Lucy he was still angry so I told him he shouldn't worry, they had more to be secretive about than we did. He then demanded to know what?" I, reached for the water, my glass was empty, Sandra took it from me and filled it without being asked. I took a sip then continued. "He got really angry when I said I couldn't tell him because Lucy had sworn me to secrecy, in hindsight no wonder he was angry, if I couldn't do that for him why the hell should I do it for anyone else. It took him a while but eventually he dragged it out of me. Oh god I am so ashamed. I then told him what Lucy had told me to say. I said to him that he would do it if he loved and trusted me enough. He still fought me, he said I was his and his alone and if I were to cross that line as he put it, our marriage would be over, even if we stayed together we would then only be fuck buddies. I thought I had him there. He told me the trust would be gone, that it was damaged already. I told him my love for him was so much that nothing could or would affect my faith in him, that I thought we would be together we had a relationship strong enough to last. "Oohh god." I said as a chill ran down my spine as I remembered those words. "He said, he, he said as coldly as I have ever heard him say anything, he said "Until now so did I." I, I think that's when I first even started to consider I should give up on the idea, but I just couldn't let it drop there could I?" Sandra said nothing. "He told me again that I was his and his alone and as soon as I wasn't his alone, I wasn't his at all." I still was about to argue but he told me he had said no and that was to be the end of it and that he had better not find out I had been up to something already." My head dropped with shame. "Because of what had already happened with Shaun, I let it drop. Weeks went by before things started to get back to normal." Then because of Lucy's insistence I broached the subject again, and again he lost his rag, we had a blazing row he said if I ever did it he would fuck them up, in the heat of the moment pointed out his small stature and I asked what if he was much bigger and stronger than him, unintentionally describing Shaun. Joe stopped arguing and looked at me, that look was awful then he said his last words to me that night, "Is it one of Lucy's sperm donors? He then went to bed, I finished up downstairs and went to bed with him, I pitifully told him I hadn't been unfaithful, I know he heard me, I knew he was awake but he wouldn't speak. His words rattled around my brain all night, Is it one of Lucy's sperm donors. Is it one of Lucy's sperm donors. Is it one of Lucy's sperm donors. He said that and only that, nothing else at all to me the following morning." "And yet you carried on trying didn't you?" "Yes, yes" I sobbed "I was totally under Lucy's spell, I spoke to her at work and she asked me to go round after work and we would work out a plan to get him to calm down. Fuck me how stupid could I be?" "Can I make some more tea?" "Yes please Sandra, you were right I didn't want alcohol." As she made the tea I gathered my thoughts. Was that really only last week? I followed Sandra into the kitchen. "So when I finished work I went round to Lucy's, I hadn't been there long when Shaun turned up, he started flirting with me so I left. I sat outside her house in my car for quite a while, if I am honest, I think I had finally worked out Lucy had been playing me, I just didn't want to admit to myself how gullible I had been, still in denial you know." "When I got home Joe looked drunk, he smelled bad, smelled of alcohol and sweat. He hadn't changed, he was still in his work clothes. I was shocked, Joe almost never drinks apart from a glass of wine with a meal. The last time I knew he got actually drunk, he was so pliable, open to suggestion and I knew he hadn't had that much. The next day he couldn't remember a thing, I felt relieved, I was sure I could at least get him to be nice to me again, and If I said something I didn't mean to he might not remember. Yes I played into his hands, Mrs gullible swallowed bullshit again, it just shows you how much better he knows me than I do him. I paused as the memory flashed before my minds eye. "He looked at me, straight in the eyes. His face was full of disgust and contempt. He spoke, his voice was low but forceful, full of aggression, almost a growl. He asked me again Is it one of Lucy's sperm donors I wanted to fuck. I was angry, I mean I hadn't even got my coat off I demanded to know why he kept asking me that. You haven't told me the truth yet, he said. Then he said I was a cheating slag and he started calling me and Lucy names. Then he said your blonde Adonis what's-his-name, I answered without thinking, I told him Shaun's name. He then flew off the handle, I was confused he was drunk, I should have been in control. Yet he was throwing question after question at me, I was reeling with the barrage he threw at me, everything he said underlined my stupidity, my thoughtlessness and for the implied contempt I had developed for him and our marriage." Feuer Frei Ch. 02 "He, he got me to admit what had happened with Shaun, then he derided me for what we, me and Lucy had planned, he had worked it all out. That threw me completely, Lucy had made it sound fun a real adventure, coming from him it sounded disgusting, I was disgusted, with Lucy, Brian and her fuck toys, but more than that I was disgusted with myself. He had finally got through to me, I had finally understood what he had been telling me for months. I explained more of the relationship between Brian and Shaun, and that just made him angrier." I noticed I was trembling again, I attacked my tea, it was cold but I swallowed it anyway. "He then really confused me he started talking as if he would allow me to have sex with someone else, I told him I wasn't sure and then he went and threw up, or at least I thought he did. When he came back he asked me when I planned on becoming a whore, I was horrified, I wanted him to let it drop, I no longer wanted to do it, but again and again he called me a whore a slag and told me I would end up alone. For christ's sake I knew he was right, I just wanted him to stop, to give me a cuddle, accept I had been a dumb bitch and forgive me, but he didn't. He didn't touch me, didn't reassure me, he just allowed me to beat myself up." My head had began to spin again, I waited a while for it to clear. Sandra clasped my hands with hers. "He then suggested having Lucy, Shaun and Brian over for dinner, to discuss the idea. He said once he had heard everyone's views he would have a think about it. He made me promise that apart from dinner and a possible one of fuck, I was to have absolutely nothing to do with any of them ever again, he also said I would have to give my notice in at work. Fuck..." I suddenly realised I had not phoned in today to excuse myself. I picked up my phone did that immediately. When I hung up I was astounded, it must have shown on my face. "What's wrong Debs?" I was in a daze, I heard Sandra's words and just responded, tears falling again. "Joe, Joe he phoned in for me, he spoke to Dave and got him to pull my resignation, Dave said to take the next couple of days off, and to let him know if I need more time, oh why have I been so bad, such a total shit to my man?" Why is he so good to me? even now he is looking out for me." "You were right earlier." Said Sandra. "If he didn't love you so much, he would have been gone weeks ago." I nodded, choking back my tears, Sandra gave me some water to drink. She told me to take a rest and went to the loo, I think I heard her talking either on her phone or radio. I made us a fresh pot of tea. Sandra joined me just as I was pouring it out. "I have some news for you, Joe has had his police bail extended the assault charge has been upheld for the attack on Shaun, but the CPS cannot decide whether to charge him with manslaughter or not, off the record, no-one I have spoken to, thinks it will go any further. As for the others, both Lucy and Mark have been put on remand until trial. There are no charges against Shaun.....Yet." "I don't understand?" "You don't have to worry about Mark and Lucy, they are locked up and will stay that was, as long as they are found guilty. It will be a few years before they can be a threat to you. Joe was charged the other night, well Saturday morning for the assault on Shaun, but because of the gun and the home invasion it was decided not to charge him for what happened to Winston, the CPS has not made a decision yet because, well basically they probably doubt he will be found guilty and they are a bunch of spineless bastards and it would cost too much to take him to court. By the way I never said that." "What about Shaun?" I asked "Well unless Brian presses charges, the only thing we have to work with is really only your perceived threat on Friday and even if Brian does press, a half decent brief will argue it was consensual so really nothing, we can't actually prove he broke any laws." I shuddered at the thought. Shaun was the one that always seemed to be in control, even the few times I had met him that was apparent. Lucy and Brian just seemed to bend to his will. "Are you sure he had nothing to do with those, those bastards coming round Friday night? I wouldn't be surprised to find out he was behind it." I said, suddenly fearful. "There is nothing to say that he did, Lucy and Mark both denied he had anything to do with it." "Lucy made a threat, as she left to take him to hospital, she told us it wasn't over." "I don't remember reading that in either of your statements." "I don't know what I said, for some reason I wasn't thinking clearly." I said sarcastically. "Did you both hear her say it?"Sandra asked "I don't know, but Joe was nearer to her than I was, he should have." I replied. "I will ask him when he gets home, it shouldn't be long now should it?" I looked at the clock, shocked at how late it was. "Shit I hadn't realised the time, I have to start getting dinner ready, yes, no, he should be about an hour or so." I said jumping up and looking through the freezer. "Would you care to join us? If you haven't got to get back to someone. I don't like to eat in front of people." "That would be nice, but I don't want to get in the way, I can ask Joe then leave you in peace. However I would like for you both to drop in the station to amend your statements, and er, and to answer a few questions. The ones I originally came to ask you." Sandra smiled with embarrassment as she said this. "No it's no trouble, and I think I would be glad of the company and I suspect Joe would like someone here too, just so we don't have to talk." Sandra seemed to gather herself then she spoke. "You have been confessing to me all day, I now need to make a confession to you. When I arrived this morning I came to question you about the events on Friday night. When you opened the door I would normally have cautioned you that your were being officially interrogated and it was being recorded. Can I assure you this was not my intent, but I didn't caution you because you were obviously distraught, I got side tracked and forgot my recorder was already on. I have all we have, sorry, you have told me on this digital recorder. I honestly think Joe and your marriage will benefit if he hears it. Also don't worry, because I didn't caution you, none of it is admissible so once Joe hears how you saw things I will clear the memory, would that be ok with you?" "Err, yes that's fine, I think, if you really think it would help." I said, doubtfully." "Yes your remorse is apparent, as is the way you were manipulated by your so called friend. I certainly think it will do no harm, It is obvious that you care deeply for one another." For the first time in nearly a week I felt a glimmer of hope I forced a smile. "We have some sausages, I can do those, would you prefer mash or chips?" "Either is fine with me?"Sandra replied, but I must admit it's been a while since I had bangers mash and beans." "Bangers mash and beans it is then." this time the smile was genuine. I started to prepare dinner as Joe came in the back door. I turned to him with a welcoming smile. It disappeared, he only glared at me. Stifling a sob I resumed peeling the potatoes. "Hello" he said speaking to Sandra. "How can I help you?" "Mr Jones I have some questions about Friday night, however they can wait for a while, I would like to talk to you concerning your wife and some things she has shared with me today." I didn't see him do it, but I felt the daggers in my back as he glared at me. "I need to was and change first, can it wait?" He asked her as he took his boots off. I heard no reply, I assume she nodded as I heard him climb the stairs. "He hates me doesn't he?" I sobbed. "No, I don't think so. I think he is hurting and is having trouble coping with the things you have forced him to face. I think he is unsure how to deal with you, your marriage and himself. I think he is both frightened at the thought of losing you and what might happen if he doesn't." I bent over, bawling my eyes out, my hair dropping into the bowl of water. I felt a reassuring arm around my shoulder. "I supposed she has been feeding you bullshit about how I don't understand her." Joe spoke with derision. "Well it's true, I don't fucking understand her at all. I don't understand any of it." I turned to look at him, I heard it in his voice as he finished his words, his eyes were shiny, filling up with tears. He turned from us and all but ran from the kitchen, Sandra followed him after a few seconds. I heard them speaking in the lounge. By the time Sandra returned the potatoes were boiling and the sausages were under the grill. "He's listening to it now." she informed me. When I dished up Sandra went through to tell him it was ready. She came back and said he wanted to eat alone, in the lounge. She took his food to him. Over dinner I wanted to continue my story. Sandra said we could kill two birds with one stone, she had a rough idea from our statements but she wanted to clarify a couple of things. She did the official caution with me, and she wrote her questions and my answers in a notebook. "So what happened when your guests arrived?" "I greeted them and offered them all a drink, when I asked Brian what he wanted, Shaun told me he wasn't allowed anything to drink, I offered a soft drink and Shaun said to me in a very curt tone. "What part of not allowed a drink don't you understand? That really annoyed me, normally I would have ordered him out of my house if anyone had shown me disrespect in my own home, but Joe and I had come to an agreement after our argument, after he had convinced me of what I should have known from the beginning. I had certain things to do, certain things to make Joe's plan work." "So you are saying it was a trap." "No no, not really, at least I don't think so, at least not like you think." "We'll come back to that, take me through what happened till Joe got home." "Nothing much I left them in the lounge to get things ready for dinner, Lucy joined me and was telling me how much fun I was going to have later, sleeping with...Fucking Shaun, I kept trying to tell her that wasn't what the evening was about, but she wouldn't listen. When Joe got in he greeted me with a kiss and totally blanked Lucy when she tried too kiss him, I could see she was pissed off about that. "Was he being deliberately provocative?" "No he was just being Joe, he has a strong personal sense of morality, his own perception of right and wrong, he knew enough about Lucy to know he didn't want to talk with her more than he had to and he certainly wouldn't kiss her." "What happened next.?" "He stopped by in the lounge to say hello and then went upstairs to wash and change." "Did you hear any conversations, any arguments before he went upstairs?" I felt my face colour, I worried I was about to get Joe into trouble. Sandra looked at me, hesitantly I told her. "I heard Joe insisting Brian had a drink, then some music came on and then I heard Shaun complaining that he was watching something, I then heard Joe telling him neither he nor anyone else was watching as he put it Noel fucking Edmonds on his telly." I smiled. "He really hates Noel Edmonds. I then heard Joe going upstairs and then I heard Shaun telling Brian off for having a drink. I am not sure but I think Shaun took it off him and drank it himself." "What happened when Joe came down." "Nothing really, he went into the lounge, I could hear no conversation, absolutely nothing, but he did turn the music up a bit. After half an hour or so I asked Lucy to fetch them through as I laid the starters out. Shaun did try to sit next to me but I had already gone over the seating with Lucy, I told her that Joe insisted and if he didn't get what he wanted the evening would be over." "How did Shaun take that?" "He was restrained, but he was not happy. He liked to be in control, Joe wasn't allowing that." "What did you all talk about? "Well to start with it was the normal dinner party bollocks, inane polite conversation about nothing in particular, then after a few drinks Lucy forced the issue, the reason for the dinner." "After a few drinks, so you were all drinking?" "Well yes, no as I said earlier Joe doesn't drink much, but he is good at pretending to be drunk." "Yes I don't understand, why does he do that?" "It's silly really, but I have seen it work on a few occasions. Have you ever seen either of the films called the drunken master. They are martial arts films, where the hero has to be drunk to fight. Well Joe loves the idea, and has the opinion that if someone thinks you are drunk, really drunk they don't see you as much of s threat and will let their guard down. As I said it is silly but I have seen him do it, win fights against bigger people, because they thought he was shitfaced. He ran rings round me the other night in a verbal fight and I know he does that." "You say he has had many fights, is he a violent man?" "Joe violent? God no, he will only fight if he or someone he cares about is threatened." "What happened when Lucy, as you say forced the issue." "Well Joe started to quiz them about ,it all, you know the why, the wherefore, the history and the progression. Lucy seemed so proud of herself, Brian looked really uncomfortable and Shaun was just leering at me, god it makes my skin crawl to think of it. Then when Joe asked them what a typical session would entail, like when they went home tonight, that's last Friday not tonight obviously, everything changed." "How do you mean everything changed?" "Well for a start on the bright side, Brian got a boost from it, you could see his eyes light up. The shock and disappointment on Shaun's face was a picture, him and Lucy exchanged looks between themselves and Joe several times, before Lucy stammered out that she thought we would all be playing together." I grinned remembering the awkwardness of Lucy as her plans were dashed. "She then said it would be easier if Shaun showed us, but Joe put her down, jesus I am so proud of him, he told her that he needed to know someone better than just hello before he would say please fuck my wife, then he said." I giggled at the thought. "Especially with a man that likes Noel fucking Edmonds." Sandra chorused Noel fucking Edmonds with me and we both laughed. "Joe then asked Brian directly what he got out of it, he seemed unable, or unsure of what to say, Lucy spoke for him, Joe pushed a bit for answers and Lucy in her own twisted way assured us that Brian got nothing out of it. Joe excused himself for a toilet break, and while he was gone Shaun instructed Brian what to say to Joe when he got back. What's weird is, he paid no attention to what I may have thought about what he was instructing Brian to say, or whether I would have said anything to Joe. It really seemed as though any thoughts or feelings I might have on the matter were totally irrelevant." A shiver ran up my spine as I suddenly understood, I really only would have been a sperm receptacle for Shaun and even that wasn't enough for him his true lust wasn't the sex but the control and the degradation of the people he was abusing. His main goal was power over the man. "When Joe returned, Brian tried to recite his speech, but he couldn't, the poor man. So Lucy finished for him. Brian then excused himself and wanted the loo, he didn't move until Lucy gave him permission. Joe then turned to Shaun and asked him, how he got involved with Lucy and Brian. Once again as was arranged I set about one of my tasks. I left the room and met with Brian upstairs and gave him some money, apparently he wasn't allowed any. We listened for a taxi I knew Joe had ordered. When we heard it we crept down the stairs and I let him out, I remember it was really cold outside that night, there was a blast of cold air that came in through the open door as he left. I waited in the hall for a couple of minutes before joining everyone else. When I got back Joe was in full swing, wobbling and slurring away and he started deriding their so called open marriage, telling Lucy she didn't have a real marriage and eventually he called her a foetid come dump for losers like Shaun and that they were both worthless shits that had shit on a man they owe everything to. He told them to get out and never darken his door again. Shaun jumped up, I thought he was going to attack Joe there and then, but it was worse. He told Joe I had been fucking him for weeks, he lied. I hadn't, haven't I really didn't never, he made it up. Really Sandra, I didn't, its not true, please believe me, make him believe me." I fell forward onto my dirty plate sobbing my heart out burying my eyes in my arms. "I do believe you Hun." I sat up and looked to the doorway. There stood Joe, looking at me, tears rolling down his face. "D' do you mean it?" I asked hesitantly as I stood and took a step towards him. "Yes, after what I heard on here." He raised Sandra's recorder. "and what I heard you say in the last few minutes." "You couldn't have heard all of that I all but whispered as I closed the distance between us." "I heard enough to know you weren't totally at fault, but it's going to be a while before we can be anywhere right together, if at all. Do you two mind if I join you? I don't want to be alone." "We can finish up tomorrow if that would suit you." Joe and I looked to each other and both nodded. "Yes I will see you tomorrow Sandra, if that's ok." I said "That will be fine, see you tomorrow. Remember what I said Joe." I looked at him and saw him nod. We saw her out together and I tried to hug Joe, he stiffened and said. "Sorry Hun, I still need to sort it all out, you should have listened to me." "Of course Joe. When you're ready, can I ask what Sandra said?" "Yeah, nothing really, just that your a stupid bitch." My face fell, all the hope I had, left me that second. How could she raise my hopes like that.... "Oh and that you love me and couldn't be sorrier......But the problem is, I already know that, and if anything that's what makes it worse. I don't know where to go from here Hun, I really don't." There was something we agreed on, I didn't have a clue either. We both stood there like lemons for a while. "I didn't tell Sandra much about what we have gotten up to, none of the really dirty stuff." "I know" His answer short and in some way distant. "I am worried about telling her about, you know, the fire." "Did you mention it in your initial statement, Friday?" "No, I was too upset, it was all to do with when those men came in and what happened after, till we escaped." "Can you lie for me?" he asked, his voice cold. "Anything for you." I answered His face showed anger for a second, I can imagine what thought flashed through his mind, either anything now, or anything but listen to me when I am trying to save our marriage. "Don't mention it."again said without emotion. "What?" I felt my face twist up as I tried to understand him. "Don't mention the fire, the vodka." he elaborated. "I don't understand." "Don't volunteer it and deny it if you are asked directly."again the coldness of his voice disturbing me. "Why? I don't understand." "For now just because I asked you, Is that not enough?" this time he spoke, it was with urgency, a little annoyance. "Yes, yes of course it is." "I will take Jack to work tomorrow and leave him there, let me talk to what's-her-name first, you listen and when she talks to you, you verify what I tell her. Can you do that for me?" "I' I'll try." I said, hoping I would be able to. His face showed his lack of faith in me. I asked him to go over it. "What I will say will be one hundred percent true, but it won't be one hundred percent of the truth. I will tell her that he attacked me and that I defended myself, I will not mention the fireball trick and as far as anyone else is concerned it never happened." Feuer Frei Ch. 02 "Okay, Hun." I spoke softly scared of upsetting him, not that I was fearful of him, I just didn't want him to be anymore upset than he was. I got no reply, I looked up and he wasn't there, I heard the TV come on and breathed a sigh of relief. I cleaned up after our meal and went through to join him. He was sat watching the drunken master again, the old one he ignored me, I could see a line of dried tears on his face. Oh god what have I done, I don't want forgiveness jesus I don't deserve it, what I want is for him to be happy again. How will I ever manage that? The film finished and he went to bed, just like that. No goodnight, no see you in a bit, I would have cried but I didn't have a good cry left in me. I sat looking at a blank TV screen for god knows how long. I kept rolling scenario after scenario over and over in my head, nothing gave me a way back I even thought about suicide, but that would only relieve my pain not his. Eventually I went to bed, as soon as I opened the door I knew he was still awake, I could hear it in his breathing. Whispering I asked if I could join him, he didn't answer but I saw him tense up. Now I didn't know what to do, but I decided that since we had slept together the last few nights it would be ok tonight. I undressed and got into bed, I wanted to spoon and cuddle him, but I could feel he was not ready, that made me worry whether he would ever be ready again, at least with me. I shuddered at the thought. I am not sure which of us fell asleep first but when I awoke we were entwined it felt so good, how did I contemplate giving this up? Because I'm a fucking moron, that's why. I think the vibration of me sobbing woke him, at first he squeezed me tighter, then he must have remembered. He slid out of bed, not with force, not with grace either, he glared at me without speaking before going to the bathroom. I wept as he showered, I don't think I have ever felt so alone. Joe left when he normally would, I remembered he was coming back so I resolved that when he returned I would talk even if he didn't. Of course it's always the old adage isn't it which one? If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. He came in and went straight to the computer, it booted up and he clicked on a file seconds later my voice started coming out of the speaker. He had taken a copy from Sandra's recorder, it must have a usb connector. I started to speak to him anyway, but he just glared at me then clicked a few times, jumping forwards through the recording, I imagine till he got to where he had listened to yesterday. Click............."more disgusted with myself, because she was right. I can't explain it. It was disgusting, I was disgusted and yet I was so turned on. I went home shortly afterwards, I pretended to be ill." Click.........."said, he, he said as coldly as I have ever heard him say anything, he said "Until now so did I." I, I think that's when I first even started to consider I should give up on the idea, but I just couldn't let it drop there could I?" I cried as I heard my voice Click............"still here this morning? I don't want to live anymore, I don't think I should be allowed to live anymore." I ran out of the room, shaking I stood in the kitchen looking at the floor. Unwelcome thoughts invaded my mind, things that happened, things that could have happened. None of them good. I pulled myself together and made a pot of tea, I poured one for Joe and took it through. I placed it next to him my words, a barrage of humiliation, punishing me as they were extruded from the speakers. Reminding me of the pain I had inflicted during my months of stupidity. I choked back my tears." "Thankyou" It was forced, difficult for him to say, but to me it was the most beautiful noise in the world. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but I was afraid he would push me away" "......to let it drop, I no longer wanted to do it, but again and again he called me a whore, a slag and told me I would end up alone. For christ's sake I knew he....B" Click The room was silent, all I could hear was my breathing and my blood pounding. I looked at Joe as he sat looking at me. "I fucked up Joe, I never did anything, but I fucked up bad, I know I did and I have no excuse, even the half ones on the tape Joe. I let that bitch brainwash me and I fucked you, us completely." I was sobbing, no tears, I had none left. " But what I did, worse than all the scheming, the plotting, worse even than not hearing, not hearing what you were telling me. What is the very worst is I never even thought about you, your pain until I was feeling pain, my poor man what I have put, am still putting you through, I've broken us Joe, haven't I? All you said about trust, it's gone Joe, you'll never trust me again and, and I don't deserve it, Joe I don't deserve you." "Yes Deborah. You have fucked up, you're right you have broken us, destroyed my trust in you. But my trust has only gone because you stopped trusting me, I, as far as I know have never given you reason to doubt me in any way, yet you kept playing your little game, refusing to believe me, but choosing to put you faith in that fucking slag, so you could have some conscience free adulterous fucking. You said on that tape that you had stopped wanting to do it, yet you still kept on at me didn't you? So how the fuck can I believe that? HOW? You say you are feeling pain now, well I am sorry about that, I did everything I could to prevent the pain you are going through now. I tried, and you know I tried. You are feeling the pain of not being trusted, by your best friend, the person you thought you would be with forever, or at least until one of you died, well, I'll tell you now as I have been living with that for a good couple of months now, it doesn't get any fucking easier, but at least you won't have some cunt dangling the idea it's all over and done with, like a carrot, while plotting their next attack." He stared at me, I could see the anger he felt, and who could blame him? Then he continued in the same flat tone. "Does your pain make mine any less? No it just adds to it, so just don't push me, cos I really can't say what might happen. I know you want us both to forget it and move on, well so do fucking I." He took a deep breath. "I just don't know whether I have the strength." I shrank from him I couldn't argue my case, I didn't have one. He was right, the temerity of my actions have given neither of us much choice. It might be best for us to call it a day and go our separate ways. But that has to be his decision, Looking down at the floor I mumbled "I am never going to make any more decisions about our lives together, I will do anything to make it work again. I, I'm sorry, I can never make it up to you, I'll never be able to repair the damage......" We were interrupted by a loud knock on the back door. It was the guys come to replace our broken door and frame, Joe would have done it himself but had ordered a steel door frame to be made and fitted by a local firm. We had just sorted things out with them and Sandra pulled up I made a round of drinks for everyone. Once the men that were here to do the door, started work Sandra, Joe and I shut ourselves in the kitchen to talk. Once we were sat Sandra started. "Today we are going to do it properly, I don't need the background, the details that you told me yesterday Debs, we are going to do it officially, so I will direct what I need to know by asking questions, but before I start, before I caution you, I will tell you I am not allowed to tell you about any statements that may or may not have been made against you by any other persons. So I am not going to tell you about allegations made that you set up, provoked and assaulted Mr Shaun Derby in your kitchen with some sort of flame thrower, and I am also not telling you that if this assault did occur, and was confirmed, we might be obliged to investigate harder into the death of Mr Winston White. I will tell you to pay attention to the caution. Do you both understand everything I have just said?" She looked at us both in turn until we acknowledged what she had said. She then opened the bag she had with her, It contained a cassette recorder with twin decks. She unravelled a cord with a microphone and set it between us, she then unwrapped two new cassettes and put them into the machine. She took out an A4 pad and wrote on it. "I am supposed to do this in private, so please keep absolutely quiet while I am conducting the others interview. Joe I will do you first." Sandra reached out and asked if he was ready, he nodded and she pressed the button to begin recording. She stated the date, time and her name and rank then Joe's name. Mr Jones do you understand that this interview is being recorded. At this time you have not been charged with a crime, we consider you as helping us with our enquiries You do not have to say anything. But if an admission of a crime is made it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence." As she spoke she wrote. "Yes" "Did you hold a dinner party at your house last Friday?" "I would hardly call it a dinner party, but we had guests for dinner." "Can you tell me who was present yes Brian McGarrett his wife, Lucy and their friend Shaun." "Would that be Shaun Derby?" "Maybe, no one gave him a surname until you said it." "They are all friends of yours?" "More my wifes, I have met Brian and Lucy a few times, Lucy works with my wife. Until Friday I had never laid eyes on Shaun." "Was there a reason for this get together?" "Yes, those three have some weird sex thing going, they wanted us to get involved and were pressurising Debs, my wife, to join in. Oh and to help Brian escape" "You say pressurising, can you explain that? Also what you mean by helping Brian to escape?" "Lucy was constantly telling Debs about it, setting up meetings with Shaun, she even got Brian to lie to her and tell her how much he enjoyed what they were doing to him." "How do you know he lied." "He told me, we arranged to meet secretly, earlier that week, He confessed all to me, including how he had upset their, that is Lucy and Shaun's plans by disturbing a planned seduction of Debs. He told me, what had started out as fun had turned into a sick twisted thing that he had no say in, and he was a virtual prisoner and they made him do things, perverted sexual things." "Okay." Said Sandra making a note separate from the pad she has been writing on. "What can you tell me about the sexual things?" "I would rather not think about them thanks." "Bad enough that you felt you had to help Brian, even though he was part of the set up?" "Yes, it wasn't as if he had any choice." "Okay talk me through the events leading to, through and after Brian leaving." "Well first was to wait until Shaun and Lucy had plenty to drink, make them feel comfortable, then while going to the loo, I would call a cab, for him order it for ten minutes and tell the driver not to knock. Once I returned Brian would go to the loo and I would keep them talking to me, Debs would slip upstairs, and hopefully they would not pay her much attention, she would then let him out quietly otherwise he would have had to slam the door, after he had gone I then told them we would not be doing what they wanted, when Shaun realised Brian had gone, he became infuriated and started shouting things at me to make me angry, when that didn't work he became enraged and ran at me, I defended myself." "How did you defend yourself?" "I punched him." "You punched him, anything else?" "No not really." "You used no weapon." "No, why." "Can you tell me how Mr Derby got burnt?" "Burnt? Are we talking about the same person?" "Are you saying that when Mr Derby left here on Friday night, he was in perfect health?" "I'm saying the man introduced to me on Friday as Shaun left here with a couple of bruises on his face and a big one on his ego, I know nothing about any burns." "So there was no form of flame thrower, how about spitting and igniting vodka?" "Can that be done? I wouldn't have thought it would burn that easily." Sandra said nothing and nodded her head slowly, I wasn't sure whether she meant it could burn that easily or was telling him he had said the right thing. She asked her next question. "Were any threats made as they left." "Lucy said it wasn't over I didn't know what she meant, at the time I didn't perceive it as a threat." "What happened afterwards?" "Debs and I had just finished clearing up all the dinner things and had sat down in the lounge, to talk about it all when the door crashed in. It was Lucy and two more of her playmates. They had a gun, and threatened us with it, they said they were going to rape her and if we didn't do what they wanted at least one of us would be shot." "Then what happened?" "The white guy, he and Lucy went upstairs, the other one had the gun, the dead guy. He got hold of Debs and had the gun at her head. He forced her to go upstairs and told me to follow, when Debs halted at the foot of the stairs and he pushed her I thought of a way to get us out of trouble." "I er, we had used a safe word during some sex games, er a safe word means stop, words like stop, no are expected to be ignored so you use a safe word. I figured she would obey the safe word and he would push her again, so as she neared the top of the stairs, I said the safe word, she stopped he pushed her and as she fell forwards I grabbed him and pulled him backwards and I dropped to my knees, he fell back over me and tumbled down the stairs, I grabbed Debs and we ran out of the house and jumped in the car and drove to the police station." "At that time did you know Mr White was dead?" "No" "Thankyou Mr Jones." I watched her look at her watch as she said "Interview finished at twelve oh seven?" She took the two tapes from the machine and after writing on them put them into two identical envelopes and wrote on them. "Please can you read this and if you think everything is correct can you sign at the end where I have marked." said Sandra as she passed him some sheets from her pad with writing on them. "Shall I put the kettle on?" She then repeated the process with me,I backed up Joes version, but she almost threw me with one question, she might have but she shook her head as she said it. "Have you any surgical spirit or white spirit in the house." I felt my cheeks colouring as I told her no, It wasn't a lie, remembering I had seen Joe empty an almost full bottle down the sink as we were clearing up on Friday. I had wondered why, now I think I knew. The bottle was in the bin and they should be emptied this afternoon. Once I had signed my statement and she had put all her kit away she turned to Joe and said. "Y'know Joe. I know it's none of my business, and I really shouldn't say anything, but lets face it, I think I now know you two more intimately than probably your closest friends. But it seems to me you were closer to overlooking Debs, er, mistake on Friday, at least you were talking then. Now the pair of you seem to be waiting for each other to make it right, make it all go away. That's not going to happen you need to work out whether you want to put your lives back together and walk away from this or not. I am not going to say it will be easy, you have a long hard struggle, each of you, but remember you are the victims here and one thing is for sure, if you don't even try, then those bastards have won already." I looked at Joe and he gave an almost imperceptible nod: I burst into tears and ran to him and wrapped my arms around him. His arms came around me slowly and then his own tears, started falling and he squeezed me tighter. We stood there holding each other for a long time then we both started apologising, I think that was the first step to recovery, I will always be thankful to Sandra, she was right. We can't let those bastards win. Feuer Frei Ch. 03 "Y'know Joe. I know it's none of my business, and I really shouldn't say anything, but let's face it, I think I now know you two more intimately than probably your closest friends. But it seems to me you were closer to overlooking Debs, er, mistake on Friday, at least you were talking then. Now the pair of you seem to be waiting for each other to make it right, make it all go away. That's not going to happen. You need to work out whether you want to put your lives back together and walk away from this or not. I am not going to say it will be easy, you have a long hard struggle, each of you, but remember you are the victims here, and one thing is for sure, if you don't even try then those bastards have won." Sandra's words pounded their way into my head. She was wrong, her sentiment may be true, I wanted it to be true, but they had already won. I know because what we once had, was no more. Still I moved to Deborah and opened my arms. She ran to me and buried her sobbing face into my chest. I held her tightly and I wept too. I wept for my, our loss. I would never trust her again, I knew it and I think she did as well. Sandra soon made herself scarce with no further exchange, letting herself out quietly. I watched her leave, my tears had gone and I was just feeling empty, her arms wrapped round me, making me feel both restrained and constrained. My eyes darted around the room, subconsciously looking for an excuse to let go of my wife. Thankfully an excuse rang the doorbell. The door fitters had finished and wanted me to check, and sign for the work done. I did the necessary and bunged them £30 each, not much; but it was all I had on me. Once we had the house to ourselves we tried to talk. The trouble was, neither of us had the words, there was too much emotion, the wounds were too fresh, too deep. Deborah just wanted to hold me, touch me in any way she could, I think so she could feel safe again. I didn't have that option, her touch didn't make me feel safe, I can't say it physically burned, but that is near to what it felt like. Every time she tried, I pushed her away. We spent the rest of the day in the same manner. I tried to mong out in front of the telly, everyone of my normal shows seemed to be including a cheating slag of a wife in this weeks plot, even the Simpsons seemed too close to home. Eventually I said sod it, and went to bed. Deborah joined me and tried to relax me, possibly seduce me, again I found her touch objectionable and pushed her away. I don't think either of us slept well, for the third night in a row. She was still in bed when I left for work, perhaps both of us found the temporary respite easier, I know I did. Jack was brilliant, his jovial nature and inane mocking at least gave me a break from the shit I had at home. After I dropped him off after work, I resolved to try harder, Sandra was definitely right about one thing, if we both didn't try, then it would never work. I wanted to try, I really did. I let her greet me with a quick hug and a kiss. I told her about my day, asked her about hers. That all seemed to go well, but once we had done that, it was discomfort city all over again. In bed I didn't push her away, but couldn't bring myself to touch her. When she took me into her mouth I did respond. I even started to enjoy the experience, then she moved to the sixty nine position. I looked at her, her lips, gracing the opening into her body, those lips, the taste, texture, the lust and the love. I started to move my head to her as she brought herself down. "...your sluts up for it, I should know, I've been fucking her for weeks." Shaun's words echoed through my head, taunting me, removing my desire and angering me. "What's wrong darlin'?" She asked as my now flaccid member slipped from her mouth. I pushed her off me. "Sorry hun, but what that cunt said about fucking you jumped into my head, ruined the moment." She looked ashamed, her eyes dropped down to the bed. I' I never, I didn't, you have to believe me, he lied darlin'." her voice fearful, broken. "Really you have to believe me." I rolled over and faced away from her, I could feel her pain at my rejection. I heard her quiet sobs for a long time. Angry semi random thoughts rebounded around my mind, the lies, whether she cheated, were there any more lovers, she was a whore, my pain, being forcefully tied, and many others, each one stinging my psyche with poisoned visions, each one reminding me of what had once been, and what had almost happened. Eventually I fell asleep, trying to keep my thoughts from, Deborah, Shaun and the whole goddamn mess. Thursday she gave me a blowjob, no frills, no attempt to get anything in return from me, the odd stray thought broke my concentration, my erection faltered but did not fail, eventually her devotions were rewarded. "You needed that." she said as she pulled away from me. I awoke the next morning and for the first time in what seemed like forever she was wrapped around me and for the first time in what seemed like forever, I didn't feel uncomfortable about it. She snuggled into me and again for the first time in a long time I smiled about it. The next evening, I would like to say things were a bit better, but again once we had caught up and eaten I felt awkward. I was relieved when the doorbell rang. Deborah answered it. Jack, and Paul his brother were ushered in. They wanted to take me down the pub, a lads night out they said. I looked at Deborah and she nodded. They didn't take me my local or their normal haunt, instead they took me to an isolated pub known as the whore's drawers or to give the name on the sign outside the White Horse. It wasn't a good pub, which explained why it was virtually empty on a Friday night. We settled into a corner table near to a roaring open fire, to be honest about the only good thing the pub had going for it. Paul looked at me once we were all sat. "Right spill." he said. "What?" "You fucking know what, why did yer get to have a dead bloke in your house, what the fucks goin' on, did you kill him an' why?" "I'd rather not talk about it." I answered. "I thought we were out for a good time." "No mate, we know somethin's fucked up, and we wanna help." said Paul. "I can't tell you, it's too personal." I replied, staring into my pint. "Look mate, I might not be the brightest, but I have worked with you now for nigh on two year' an' we all know if it weren't for you giving me a chance back then I would be locked up now for sure. I know somethin's up an' I know it's fucked up." Jack said earnestly. He was right, I had given him a job and then gone before the court to plead for him, all at Paul's request. It had worked, Jack had stopped hanging around with the wasters that had got him into trouble, at least long enough for him to see them for what they were, and for nearly all of them to get banged up. He had turned his life around, no more drugs apart from a bit of smoke, no more mstealing cars and trading of varying dubious circumstance. He was also right about it being fucked up. "It's got somethin' to do with that Brian bloke, an' 'is missus' ain't it? asked Paul. I stared at him in shock, how did he know that? "I were in the three feathers the other dinner time I were meetin' up with me mate Jerry, an in walks your missus with some woman, that Brian's old lady. I didn't know 'er but Jerry did; he's a fireman too. Any ways they didn't see me an' Jerry, when they came an' sat behind us, y'know how one side is laid out with sort of cubicles. Well I overheard what they were talking about, some sick sex stuff. An' I thought no, not Joe he wouldn't be up for that. Not now, not ever. An' then last night when I heard about that bloke bein' brown bread at your house I knew it had somethin' to do with that..." Paul was saying. Jack butted in and continued. "An so he comes round an' asks me what the fuck is goin' on with you. So I told him about how nervous you seemed to be about your dinner party you were, an' that you hadn't said much about it. An' then I realised you had not talked about Debs for weeks, normally you don't shut up about her it's Debs this an' Debs that, so we got an idea of what's been happening. Fuck me Joe, for christ's sake tell me you ain't been slurping some cunts spunk out of your missus." "No mate, as Paul said not now, not ever." I then told them everything, Lucy's campaign to involve Debs and I in their sordid sexual games, to turn me into a chastised wimp like Brian. How I had fucked up their plans and Lucy and her cohorts had invaded my home to get what they wanted by force. "Man that is real fucked up" said Paul as I finished, Jack appeared for the first time in his life, speechless for a second. Eventually he found his voice. "A fuckin' good kickin' is not good enough, especially for that Shaun bloke." I nodded in agreement. The two brothers looked at one another and Paul rose from he seat. "Same again?" he asked gathering our empty glasses, again I nodded. "What' you gonna do about Debs, divorce? asked Jack. "Good question." I replied. "I've thought about it, I thought we had something really special till all this shit happened. I don't know whether we can ever get that back." I looked at him, over to Paul at the bar and around the room not wanting to talk anymore, but Jack pushed some more. "But you're gonna try." he said "You gonna be able to rebuild the trust, if you can't then it's time to call it a day, don't you think." Fuck me, wise beyond his years is Jack. As I started my reply Paul returned with the drinks. "You're right." I replied, faltering at Pauls arrival. " But as far as I know she didn't really do anything wrong, apart from letting that slag fill her head full of shit, the fact the she held off from doing anything, wouldn't.. until... she got me on board... Even as fucked up as that idea was..." I reached for my now full glass and took a deep draught. "I mean, its gotta be worth trying, just for that reason, surely." I drained my glass and went to the toilet. As I sat back down Jack started at me again. "So this Mark bloke, an' Lucy are banged up, an' Brian and Shaun are wanderin' about. D'you know their full names an' addresses? got any photo's?" "No, only Brian and Lucy. No, wait, Shaun's last name is Derby, I think his wife's names Karen." I replied remembering Sandra's questioning. "Oh and the other bloke, it was Mark King." Jack had a phone in his hand and was texting some one. "No addresses?" he asked. "Only Brian's." I said, the look he gave me urged me to tell him, I did, but added. "He is supposed to be selling up, moving." Jack nodded, still busy with his phone. Paul returned with another pint for me, and the two brothers exchanged a look, I saw an almost imperceptible nod from Jack, answered with a big one and a smile from Paul. Puzzled, I looked from one to the other. Paul sat down. "You 'aven't kicked her out then? Not going to?" he asked. "Fuck me is this going to going on all night, I've just been through this with Jack. No" I said shaking my head sadly. "I don't think she did anything, not physically, I know he overstepped the mark once, enough to get a smack in the gob if I had seen it, but not enough to get divorced over." "You sure." He asked. I was suddenly fearful, did he know something I didn't? Had I believed another lie? "Why, what did you overhear?" I demanded, a little too loudly. "No, nothing like that, if anything what I heard confirms it. Debs said she wasn't going to push you anymore and she didn't want anyone else. But what clinched it was I heard that other bird, Lucy tell Debs that if she was only to try it, she would never regret it, and Debs told her she didn't ever want to hear her talk about it again and she stormed out." He took a sip from his glass."I just wanted to be sure what you want, for you to be sure, really sure." I understood what he meant, it would be easier, perhaps on us both to say fuck it, blame her and call it a day. Sandra's words echoed in my mind. "...if you don't even try, then those bastards have won already." She was right, yes I had fought a long hard battle, and I had won that one. No I wasn't going to allow them to win any, if they won only one battle the would win the war. I gripped my glass tightly as I stared at it, anger growing as I did so. I struggled to calm myself down as Paul put his head to mine. "I know someone that can make your problems go away." He whispered. "A grand for each, and that'll be the end of it." I looked at him, shocked as the realisation of what he had just suggested sank in. Was I prepared to go that far? If I did could I live with myself afterwards? "If you ain't got it I can front it, pay me back later." he offered. I slowly shook my head, deciding to deal with it myself. If I failed then that could always be a solution to fall back on. He shrugged. "Let me know if you change your mind." He looked up as Jack returned. "'Ave you seen that comedian, Jim Jeffries, I got a DVD at home, I'll lend it, if you want, he's funny as fuck." Said Paul. My anger dissipated as I caught on to his distraction. "That'll be a subtle change of subject then." I observed grinning at him. Knowing the serious stuff had ended. Things then turned into the night I had expected, or at least hoped for. Jokes, gossip, mutual mocking and merriment. For a man that doesn't normally drink that much, I put away more than a few. At closing time I insisted on walking home, claiming I had some thinking to do. After some discussion they said goodnight and left me to my own devices. After peeing up a fence I set about the four mile trek home. Lost deep in thought, it seemed to take no time before I was at my front door, much less inebriated than when I left the pub. Steeling myself, I reached for the handle and opening the door I walked in, despite the alcohol, apprehension flowed over me as I stepped over the threshold. Debs was sitting in the lounge, the telly was on and she looked up at me, I could see she had been crying. "I was worried you wouldn't come back, did you have a good time?" "Yes," I replied, "perhaps you should get out with some friends." Must have been the wrong thing to say, she burst into tears. I reacted without thinking, as a loving husband should, and moved to comfort her. "I daren't, I went shopping yesterday and...and." she dissolved into uncontrollable sobs. I pulled her to me and we wrapped our arms around each other. "I saw him." she croaked out. "No secrets remember." I said softly. "I didn't know how to tell you, but don't worry I told him to fuck off, and he knew I meant it." "No secrets, hun." "It wasn't planned, wasn't arranged, I' I just ran in to him." "It was planned, but not by you, trust me we haven't seen the last of him yet." "Why won't he leave us alone?" "Because he is a sick cunt, plain and simple." "Can't the police do anything?" she asked pulling back and looking up at me. "Probably not." I said returning her gaze. "Sandra was right, I thought they had already won, but they didn't win, they gained ground and I, we won the first battle. We have to make sure they do not win any, and we can only do that if we do it together." "I would kill the bastards if I could, all of them." We agreed on that at least. I broke the no secrets agreement, I didn't tell her about the relevant conversation with Paul and Jack, even though talking to them had seemed to help things get perspective in my mind . We fucked later, I won't say made love, but it I felt it was a start to a possible reconciliation. The following day a letter arrived summoning me to an inquest, the decision of which would go a long way to deciding whether I was to be prosecuted or not for the death of Winston White. Over the next couple of weeks, things slowly did improve between us, then again the upcoming inquest served well as a distraction, we were both worried about the possible outcome. Debs, quite rightly blamed herself, yet she wasn't even thought of as culpable. Sandra popped round a couple of times to give support, assuring us that the police really had little to suggest it was anything other than a fortunate accident, her words not mine. The week before the inquest Debs went back to work, she found the first few days awkward and uncomfortable, but with support from her bosses, Peter and Dave began to settle back into it, normalcy seemed to be finally in sight, our lives had started to get back on track. On Friday afternoon I saw Jack look at his phone. He looked worried and came over to me. "Go meet Debs out of work." I looked at him, and was about to ask why, but he shouted at me urgently. "Go, now, and hurry." I took another look at him then dashed down the ladder, jumped in my van and headed to D&P insurance, where Debs worked. I evaded the main roads and skirted round on the back streets, less traffic and less traffic lights, even so I sped through, ignoring my phone when it started ringing incessantly, a few minutes into my journey. The car park was almost empty, only four cars in it. One was ours, plus a Bentley and an Aston which I knew belonged to Peter and David, the owners of the company and one other, and I knew who owned that. I recognised that car as soon as I pulled into the car park. The last time I had seen that car it was parked in my driveway. It belonged to a certain Mr Derby. An angry shout showed me where he was. Debs had not yet come out, it looked like he was waiting for her. "You fucking runt, have you come to see my slut before I take her for a good fucking?" he said as I climbed out of my cab. I knew I had to restrain myself, we were on camera. I paused briefly, to think of of an answer. "Already seen her." I replied. " You shouldn't call her a slut though, then again considering what she has been saying about you, I suppose it's only fair." He looked confused for a second, I provoked him more as I began to walk around the van toward him. "Love the new sheets by the way, fits the décor well, sorry about the stains, but you know what an animal Karen is when she gets going. I would have stayed a little longer, but you know, I always feel awkward around your kids, no matter how much they say they like me." Confusion dissipated, to be replaced by anger, a redness creeping up his neck to his ears, making the fresh scarring glow white in contrast. "Tell me, does she always come that much with a bit of anal or is that just me?I only ask because she still seems embarrassed after all these months." As I spoke I saw Debs leave the building, she was accompanied by Peter and Dave, her bosses. They paused briefly at the door as Peter locked it. Shaun hadn't yet seen them and it looked like he was about ready to blow. I continued twisting the knife. "From what she has been telling me, uh apparently you are not as er gifted as you and Lucy made out. Don't worry, she only told me that because I mentioned how tight she wa..." His fist landed squarely on my jaw. Although I was ready for it, tried to roll with it, he still threw a good punch and he made a good connection. As I hit the floor he moved to kick me shouting. "How did a runt like you get the best of Winston and Mark?As I hit the floor two men grabbed him. As I regained my feet Shaun was slammed into the side of my van. Debs had her phone out and was speaking urgently. I was still rubbing my jaw when a police car turned up. They took preliminary statements from all of us, three backed me up, no-one had heard me softly provoking Shaun. They had just seen us talking, him getting agitated and attacking me for no reason, of course I added that he had told me more people would be coming after me because of what had happened to the people he and Lucy had sent round to deal with "me and my slut." Naturally as he heard me saying this he started shouting again, threatening to get even with me for fitting him up. All in all, the smack on the jaw was worth its weight in gold. Feuer Frei Ch. 03 He was taken to the cop shop and charged,, Peter and Dave arranged to go down there tomorrow to give full statements in the afternoon. Debs and I arranged to do the same, then we left, following a policeman's advice to go to the hospital. Some might blame bureaucracy, others immigration which if either is the case I don't know. One thing I do know is, if you are not a real emergency you will do a lot of waiting at the hospital, I slowly moved through the machine that is the NHS. I was assessed, X-rayed, diagnosed and eventually sent on my way with a handful of pain killers that hurt more to swallow than the pain they relieved. All in all it would have been a total waste of a Friday night, but to me. It was well worth it. Jack and Paul were hammering on my door at half eight. Debs answered the door in her dressing gown. I was in the kitchen sipping coffee through a straw. Debs showed them through and then left us to shower and get dressed. They laughed at my efforts to drink with a straw, but shut up when they realised I was in real pain. "Brung that DVD round." said Paul, offering a valid excuse for them being here. Other than just being plain nosey. I took it from him and then came the twenty questions. Once I had assured them that there was a little scuffle and I was ok other than a sore jaw they started taking the piss and grilling me in more detail about the events of last night. Speaking was painful, so I tolerated the piss taking without giving any comeback and waited for Debs to join us, she then related the events from yesterday evening. As unlikely as it may seem Debs got the hint she should make herself scarce and leave us "boys alone" to chat, she got ready to go shopping. Before she left Jack showed me the text he had received yesterday before telling me to go. "A lurk @ b" "Paul will fill you in." he told me, before leaving with Debs on saying he needed to pick up a few bits for himself. After the door closed Paul explained that Shaun was being watched by someone. Someone else that had an interest in justice, at least as far as Shaun was concerned. I wanted to know more but he would only tell me they were not in a position to either personally punish him or find the funds for his demise. "If you do decide to, um 'ave him dealt with, then he will sort it out." he said, a little too insistently. Why was he pushing me to do this? What does he get out of it? It seems to be important to him. "Yeah well stop pushing me." I told him. "You know me, I don't bend to peer pressure, especially after what I've just been through." I stared at him, not hiding my annoyance. "Aw'right, aw'right" he said holding up his hand. "Won't mention it again, you ever putting the kettle on?" I nodded and turned to fill the kettle for another coffee, smiling at his "subtle change of subject." When I sat down again, I was at a loss for something else to talk about. Paul offered nothing, we sat there for a good ten minutes before I broke. "Okay okay, I'll talk about it, but don't try and bully me into doing something I'll regret." "He'll be out today you know, if he's not already." he stated. "You already know he is gunning for you and..." The doorbell rang interrupting him. I went to answer it. It was a policeman. He bade me a good morning and introduced himself as Sgt. McBride. I was puzzled, I had arranged to go to the station this afternoon, why the pre-emptive strike? When I asked he suggested we go inside to talk, I invited him in. We walked through to the kitchen, I found it empty. It seemed Paul had taken his leave and vacated by the back door. Knowing he liked to keep encounters with the constabulary to a minimum I didn't mention there had been anyone there. Sgt. McBride started questioning me about my whereabouts, and seemed disappointed that I was going to be able to prove my whereabouts last night. It seems a certain car had been vandalized and stolen from and I was the prime subject. Unfortunately for the Sgt. I was still at the hospital when the car had been discovered. Fortunately for me laughing at someone else's misfortune is not yet considered a crime. Nor is offering to buy the culprits a drink should he find them. Shortly after he left Debs and Jack returned from their shopping trip. When I mentioned the police had been round, I think I caught a slight guilty smile from Jack, but he said nothing, after a coffee I showed him out, reminding him I would not be working on Monday. Once he had gone I set about erecting a security door along the side of the house, just in case of any further attempts from Shaun and his friends. All too soon Monday came round and we headed down to the court for nine thirty and settled down for yet another long wait. I was again explained the why and wherefore of the inquest to me. It was because the death was violent and it was to decide whether the death was an accident or not. That and nothing else, the circumstances did not matter. Most hearings were just a formality and had one or three people to make the decision, occasionally it was made by a jury. If it was decided the death was not accidental, then and only then would the CPS decide whether I would be prosecuted. All bollocks as far as I am concerned. He's dead, I'm not. If he hadn't broke into my house he would still be alive, why has anyone got a problem with that. If someone gets killed by a train, they don't blame the train driver, they blame the twat on the tracks. What's the difference? The stiff is still only dead because they were somewhere they shouldn't have been. The hearing I was attending didn't start till after lunch, statements were read out from Debs, myself, the slag, Mark, Debs, myself and the coroner. The man reading the statements, did just that, he read them out with a boring droning monotonous voice, so I sort of phased out .I heard everything, but each sentence was overwritten by the next, so nothing actually went in. I started looking around the room , it was then and only then I noticed that I was being stared at. I noticed the eyes first, wide, red and filled with hate. Tears shining on her seasoned face, her dark tight curls lightening with grey. She saw me looking at her and didn't turn her gaze, I could almost feel the hail of bullets from the mental AK47 she had pointed at me in her mind. I assume she was Winston's mother. Yes I can feel her admittedly justifiable hate, but hey I wasn't the one that had raised a rapist thug. I was called to answer some questions, to clarify a couple of pieces in my statement, after I had vowed to tell the truth etc. I was questioned, suddenly glad of the few chats I had with Sandra. "How did Mr White end up at the bottom of the stairs?" "I helped him, I pulled him down." "Why would you do that?" "He had a gun to my wife's head, and the intention of raping her, it was to me at the time the only way out of a difficult situation." "So you say you helped him down, in your statement you say you pulled him backwards, causing him to fall. Was it your intention to kill him?" "My only intention at the time was to get out of there, to get myself and my wife to safety." "What makes you think he was going to rape your wife?" "He was telling me in graphic detail what he and his friends were going to do." " This would be Mrs Lucy McGarret and Mr Mark King." "Yes, and he also said others would be coming." I stared at the woman I assumed to be Winstons mother, for the first time since I had noticed her she looked away from me, her head dropped, looking at the floor. Was this shame? I wondered. "Why did you only act when you were at the top of the stairs, why not sooner?" "Because that was when he pushed her over, that was when the gun was not held directly at her head." "Did you fall down the stairs?" "No" I exclaimed. "He had a gun, I grabbed Debs and ran." "We have from the coroners report, that the cause of death was a broken neck, most likely from the weight of the person landing on his chest, as indicated by these bruises on the chest. Can you explain how it appears you jumped on his chest?" I was suddenly scared, I knew I had jumped on his chest, I had heard the crack of his neck as my feet grounded on his chest. I knew this was the most important answer in the case, I knew I had to make them believe a lie. " I, er, I tried to jump over him, but holding onto my wife I couldn't get the distance, was that it? Did I..." I let my voice trail off. "So it was not your intention to land on his chest." "No, no, of course not, I, we needed to get away." "That is all Mr Jones, thankyou." I left the witness box and joined Debs, now Winston's mother averted her gaze, for that I was grateful. Time was getting on, I could see the magistrate looking at her watch, it was looking like there was going to be another day, she adjourned at three thirty. The next day I was relieved to see the woman I thought to be Winston's mother, was not there. Unfortunately Shaun was. Debs turned white as he walked in. He looked over at us then moved to, and sat in the exact same seat that Winston's mother had occupied the previous day. That was a message, a threat and I understood. I no longer felt relieved, he kept looking at us and smirking. No sooner was the hearing was resumed it was over. It was done in just over an hour; just summing up then a verdict of misadventure was given. I suppose a decision had been made some time over the interceding hours. Although relieved at the verdict, I was more than apprehensive at the presence of Shaun. Debs clung to me as though her life depended on it. We went directly from the hearing to see Laurence, my solicitor to apply for a restraining order. As we sat waiting to go in, I made a decision. After hearing what we had to say, Laurence got Debs and I to fill in a standard form and sent it off to the courts, telling us it should be dealt with by the end of the day or within 24 hours at the latest, it would however not come into effect until he has been served, then if he breaches the conditions he would be arrested. Debs was not happy, she said she was not ready to face other people after what had happened Friday. I reminded her that she had already gone back to work, and that she was only off for the hearing, she would return to work again tomorrow. I looked deep into her eyes, I could see the thought frightened her and at that moment I realised it was Shaun, she was terrified of him, I tried to assure her that come tomorrow afternoon the restraining order would be in effect. She began to tremble, I thought about letting her have her way and take some more time off, but we both knew that was not good. We needed to fight back, and we both needed to get back into the swing of things. I felt myself getting angry again, I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to hurt him bad. I felt my fist clench as the anger mounted, I felt the blood pounding in my veins, my breathing was deep and laboured. If he was there I would have throttled him and you would have had to kill me to get me to stop. Then as suddenly as it came on, the anger was gone. I was calm, only the sweat lingering on my brow showing any sign of my previous mood. I pulled out my phone and called Pete. We spoke for a while, he agreed that either he or Dave would walk her to her car, then chuckled as he told me he had sent a bill to Mr S. Derby, for car parking. He didn't want him to encourage him to do it again so he had charged him £300 per 12 hour period or part thereof, he said it more than covered Deborah's wages for her absence. So she would not lose any pay. I laughed with him and after we said bye I told Debs. Debs then seemed to pull herself together, she insisted we hit the supermarket to get some things for dinner. Call me paranoid if you want, but I am sure I caught sight of Shaun a couple of times. Once across the car park and once inside the shop. Both times I felt no more anger, just pure hatred and increased resolve to make him pay. I said nothing to Debs, if she saw him, she didn't tell me either. We got home, Debs busied herself with house work and making preparations for tonight's meal, me, I sat down in front of the telly and although I don't think I fully slept I almost slumbered laying on the sofa with my eyes closed, half listening to the news, trying to decide whether to give some money to Paul's friend of a friend, or did I want the satisfaction myself. It's strange how the mind works, the connections and correlations the brain makes. There had been an armed robbery, the thieves had escaped on a motorbike. Hearing the newscaster reporting reminded me of a customer I had had a few months back, Johnno he liked to be called. He was one of those hells angel types, big Harley Davidson motorcycle, long hair and a beard. I was on his roof, just finishing off the cement and he called me down for a cuppa. We were chatting over this and that and the postman came. Well he got a speeding ticket, from a camera on the A1 Near Grantham. He was well pissed off. Most cameras are forward facing, so they can identify the driver, this makes it less likely for motorbikes to get caught, but there are a few that look at the back of vehicles and he had been caught by one. That's an alibi, I thought, suddenly fully awake, my mind now fully alert and running possible scenarios that would end this bollocks, once and for all, at least with Shaun. I didn't know that much about him apart from he thinks the world revolves around his cock. Hopefully that would be enough. It took me less than an hour to come up with a basic plan and it shouldn't cost me too much, especially if I could find my old pay as you go phone. I started looking through drawers and cupboards, I didn't want to tell Debs anything about what I was thinking. I exhausted the possibilities so I moved out to the garage. I eventually found it, in a box, a box that I had meant to throw out some time ago, a box that contained stuff I should have thrown away years ago. As I re-packed the box I clasped hold of another item and as my hand held it more connections were made in my brain. Sick, nasty connections, sick nasty connections that made me smile. The phone was dead and not with the charger, but earlier in a drawer I had found the spare ends for the car multi charger, so I could charge it in the van. All I had to do now was get Debs phone and find out whether she had deleted the wanker off it or not. The gods were smiling on me today, her handbag was on a chair in the lounge. I took her phone and disappeared out to the garage. I looked for Shaun, stud, lover, sd, derby and found nothing so I started scrolling through her phone log. I should have done that first, last Sunday she got a text from an unrecognised number. That had to be him. [I still want u wen can we meet] her reply [Never leave me alone] him [U want me 2 I know it] her [Fuck off] him [Txt wen u chang ur mind] then another [U will] She hadn't replied. I copied the number down on the back of my fag packet, deleted the texts and blocked the number before going back inside and returning her phone to her handbag. I felt happier than I had for months. I showed Debs how happy I was at bedtime, three times. It was a fundamental turning point in our marriage, that night was the first time I had gone down on her since before the last time she had me tied up. The following day at work I charged up the phone, I found I still had £3:40 credit on it, more than enough for my purpose. At lunch time we were sat in my van eating our pack-up when I asked Jack about a neighbour of his I knew he didn't like. "Does you mate Carter still have that golf?" "He's no fuckin' mate of mine, but yeah, why?" he replied I ignored his question and asked. "Does he still go away most weekends on his vespa." "Yeah I think he's got one of them all nighters at Yarmouth this weekend, but why?" "Do they still do them?" "Yeah, but why d'ya want to know?" "Do you have anything to do with your old mates?" I said "No" I knew he was lying. "Jack?" I insisted. "Ok, just one, and that's only to buy stuff from." he admitted guiltily. I knew what the "stuff" was and ignored it. "So if that golf was to go missing, say Saturday afternoon, it would be unlikely to be reported stolen until late Sunday morning at the earliest." A big grin spread across his face. "What you plannin'?" Again I ignored his question. "And if it went missing, could it be delivered to the old barn on lower lane, and hidden inside it." I asked him. "I don't see why not." "And would the thief be prepared to fit this to the passenger seat." I offered him the object I had found in the box. He nodded. "The thief should know it's broken and not to use this so don't fit it till he has finished playing. It needs to be finished with and parked up by half seven." "Mr goody two shoes, I can't believe you're even thinking of such things." Jack chided. "Are we going to do some work today or what?" I said climbing out of the van. Paul and Jack were waiting for me when I walked into the bar, the place was heaving. It was a darts night. I checked on their drink situation before I went to the bar and got three pints before squeezing in beside Jack. Although we all wanted to talk about the obvious subject we stayed away from it, until we went outside for a fag. It was raining so we sheltered in Paul's car to smoke, then I asked him for a favour, he readily agreed but seemed a little put out when I also told him I wouldn't be needing the services of his friends friend. I then pulled out an old map and showed him exactly where something was. That all agreed I set off for home and arrived back before ten. I found Debs curled up on the sofa watching the telly. She sat up to let me sit beside her and lay back down with her head in my lap. We fell asleep in that position, I awoke in the early hours, my head wedged between her buttocks and the back of the sofa. She stirred as I forced myself to sit up. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as I realised we had almost lost this. I coaxed her awake and we headed up to bed, once naked and under the covers I pulled her to me and we quickly fell back to sleep. As I waited for Jack the next morning I sent a text from my old phone. [new no. D :) ] I was shocked when I got an immediate reply. [I knew u want me] "Arrogant bastard, This might just work." I thought as I replied. [U still want 2 ply] him [U or +hubby] me [+hubby] him [Ur plce] me [Urs] him [no can do] Fuck, I had forgotten he was married. I thought for a minute. [will gt rm pk u up] [where] [pk u up outsd urs] then [9 sat] then nothing for a couple of minutes, I felt the phone tremble in my pocket as I drove from Jacks to the Job. We had a coffee in the cab before we started. I read his reply. [Ok c u then] I sent the same back to him. I smiled as I turned the phone off and zipped into my jacket pocket. Turning to Jack I said. "Tell Paul I'll meet him at eight on Saturday, and make sure you can prove where you are all night." I pulled into the secluded layby, a well known dogging spot and I pulled up behind the only other vehicle. Later, I had heard there would be cars filling the layby, but for now it was too early. I transferred a bag I had with me to Paul's car then I talked over final details with Paul, and at half eight he was driving towards the A1 ready to head north in my van, at around ten he should be heading south in the vicinity of Grantham. I drove to the old barn and switched cars again, at around twenty to nine I was waiting down the road from Mr Derby's house. At five to nine I saw him come out from his house and walk to the road. I watched as he looked up and down the road and at his watch. I let him repeat this a few times before I flashed the headlights, he looked over and then he looked in the other direction and nodded before he began walking to where I was parked. Feuer Frei Ch. 03 He approached the golf, and I could see he was not happy when he saw I was alone. He pulled open the passenger door and bending down he angrily asked through clenched teeth. "What the fuck is going on? Where is your whore?" I bit my tongue and fought against the urge to go beat the crap out of him. "She wants you, she won't shut up about you. I am only doing this to try and save my marriage." I said, hoping he would accept my attempt at acting defeated, resigned to my fate. "But I don't trust you, and I won't have you in our house, besides if you came there you could be arrested." "You're right, I hadn't thought about that" he answered. "You getting in then?" I asked. As he complied I noticed him again looking up the road, perhaps he wasn't as thick as I thought he was. He strapped on his seatbelt and I pulled away. As I suspected, another cars lights came on just after I passed it and pulled out some hundred yards behind me. I took a right turn and then the next right, the car followed, I took another right and pulled up, back outside his house. "Okay get out." I demanded. He made no attempt to move, and asked. "Why, what's going on?" I shouted. "You know damn well why, Well fuck you and you can have her after we are divorced." "Okay, you got me," he replied then asked. "what about if I call him off?" "No." I replied, noting the implication there was only one occupant. "You will be able to save your marriage." he said, trying to sound convincing. I looked at the floor, both trying to look downcast and to hide the smile from my face. I said nothing but nodded my agreement. I heard him get his phone out and call. "Forget it Mate." I couldn't hear the reply, but was happy with the verification that it was Mark. "No, leave it tonight." Another inaudible reply. "Will try, but can't promise, see you tomorrow." He hung up and I held my hand out. "Give me your phone." He looked puzzled but handed it to me, I turned it off and put it in my pocket. Marks car pulled away and I followed it to the end of the road, he turned one way and I turned the other. I drove in random directions for a while, checking the rear view often. Once satisfied I was no longer being followed I drove up to the old barn. As I pulled into the old barn and Paul's car appeared in the headlights, the wanker started to get agitated. "That's not your car, what going on?" "Well Shaun old chap, do you think you can keep playing with people's lives and get away with it forever. It seems you really are as thick as pigshit." In the darkness I couldn't see his face, but I imagined it was red with anger. I got out of the car, I could hear him scrabbling at his seat belt. I walked over to Paul's car and unlocked it. I took a blowtorch from the bag, after opening the door of the golf I stood back and lit the torch. "What are you doing?" he asked. I don't know whether it was just the blue white light from the flame, or whether the colour had totally drained from his face, but he looked like a ghost. "Don't waste you're time with the seatbelt, it's broken, you need a screwdriver or something. I'm afraid your stuck there for the time being." "You fucking bastard, I'll get you for this, you and your whore. You are going to suffer." I pushed the flame near his face and his hands rose to protect himself. I dropped it to his groin. He was screaming in pain before he was able to knock me away. I repeated the exercise many times as he continued to scream and threaten me eventually he passed out and the smell of burning flesh overcame the smell of burning cotton. I shut off the torch and once the nozzle had cooled I swapped it for a full petrol canister. I poured a gallon of petrol over the car, inside and out and got Paul's car ready to drive out, having second thoughts, both about what I had already done and what I had intended to do. I began to shake, I don't know if it was from shock or fear. I paused trying to pull myself together. I was now horrified by my actions, I tried to turn Shaun's phone back on to call for an ambulance but my trembling hands would not allow it. I heard a murmur as he regained consciousness, it took a minute or so before he was aware enough to start threatening again, this time the threats were not of violence and rape they were legal ones. I stopped fighting with his phone, I was getting nowhere. Trying to calm myself, I took a cigarette from the pack and lit my Zippo, I lit my fag and took a deep drag before I closed the lid of my lighter. I swear I didn't mean to, but I dropped the Zippo it fell from my trembling hands. Still burning, it fell into a small stream of petrol, perhaps if I had noticed I could have stamped out the flame, but my mind was set I wanted to get him help, I threw his phone to him then bent to pick my lighter up. It was then and only then that I noticed the flame growing longer as it spread from my lighter. I bent down and picked it up, I suppose it was adrenalin kicking in, but my trembling stopped. I snapped it shut and put it into my pocket, I looked back to the golf, the flames had reached the side and were now spreading in all directions. I knew then, even though I had second thoughts, I had succeeded in my plan. Although he was still breathing, Shaun was a dead man. Nothing I could do now would save him, I knew I had to get away, if I didn't keep to my plan others could be, and would be implicated. I dived into Paul's car and drove to meet him... That was two years ago, I don't think anyone believed I had nothing to do with Shaun's death, but as simple as my alibi was; it was enough. I didn't have to worry about Debs going astray again, for some reason, nobody ever tried chatting her up anymore. Feuer Frei "Look at me when you speak, now again is that all." "N'no he started to feel me up once and Brian came into the room, I ran out and came home. I showered for an hour, I felt so dirty. "A wife shouldn't do that a good wivesh Dushent do dat, shingle women cad doosh thats but people calls them shlappers, is shat what you want? To be single? A slapper?" She shook her head, tears were beginning to run down her cheeks. "And yet you still want to do more." as I said it I realised I had let my drunk act slip, I hoped she hadn't noticed. "I felt so guilty, Lucy convinced me that if you knew, if you were involved it would be ok. "And the two of you cooked up thish shtupid sshcheme to turn you into a shlut, me into a cuckold and the only ones getting any benefits would be looshy and her shtuds. Tears were flowing fast now. "Please forgive me I was stupid, she had me convinced it would be a good thing." "Didn't you read any of those fucking stories, they either end up as a complete disaster or the hubby becomes some sub human fuck wad....Like Brian. Jesus fucking christ, the man is a fucking fireman, a decorated fucking hero." "Shaun is the father of the girl he saved." "What?" I could not believe what I had just heard. "Let me get this straight. Brian not only risked his life to save Shauns daughter, and the cunt then repays him by fucking his wife and all that other shit." I was fuming now. As pissed off as I had been with all this I was now really upset. That for me sealed the deal. I knew about that, bugger me, half the country new about that, his face and body was badly scarred because he had wrapped her in his jacket and shared his breathing apparatus with her to protect her young face from a wall of flames as he ran through it. I shuddered at the thought. Even though Debs seemed to be coming to her senses the four of them need to be taught lessons, they each had their individual lessons to be learned and I was the one that was going to instruct them. I now had the the truth, or at least most of it, now to start throwing spanners in the works. "I wants thish over an' done with, I don't wanna be going to work wundrin' wha yer gerring up to." She was on her knees sobbing into her hands. "Sho my loving wife, if I was to allow this, thish bullshit to happen will that be the end to it, over and done with no fucking more." I could see that confused her, I think she had realised I was not going to allow it and yet I had just opened the door again. Was she going to shut up about it or walk into my trap? "Yes, no, I don't no. Lucy said the more we do it the more fun it would be. If we do it once we will want to do it more. But I am worried, what you said about trust and stuff" Her voice was soft, weak with uncertainty, showing her shame and confusion. I was sure she now wished she had never suggested it, but until she learned she should never have even considered it things could not start to get back on track. "Well my dear my trust in you is about as fucked up as it can get, you have already been dishonest and the, the, maybe I might have been persh, persh waded for a one time fuck, but never in a million years would I go for that shick shit that Brian and his whore get up to. I placed my still full glass on the edge of the table and missed, dropping it to the floor. I made a big deal of cleaning it up, knocking the chair over and generally blundering about. I then staggered, off to the toilet. I stayed in there and faked retching noises for a while. "Are you all right darling?"she called through the door. "Fuck off" When I returned, she had finally taken off her coat and I noticed she had poured herself a brandy. "Washish your plan then? When are you going to become a whore?" "I don't know, I am confused" I saw what I had just said dawn on her. "What do you mean whore?" she screamed at me. "Thash right whores get paid you'll jush be a shlag. An one day yer'll be all alone and fucking shtrangshers for a bag o' chips" I almost shouted as I stumbled over and poured the remainder of my rum bottle into a glass. She started to cry again, uncontrollably, I could hear her trying and failing to get words out. I was glad I wasn't drunk, I would not have been able to stop myself from cuddling and reassuring her if that were the case. Eventually she was able to, or at least I was able to understand what she was trying to say between the wailing and sobbing, it was something like; she hadn't wanted to, but Lucy kept telling her it would be good for us. I got myself a glass of water, I drank half and passed her the glass, she croaked out a feeble thankyou. I wanted to hold her, tell her I forgave her but she was not ready yet, for that matter neither was I. If I had said it then, I wouldn't have meant it. There were lessons to be learned, and if I was going to teach them she needed to stay confused. She put the glass down and sat quietly for a few minutes then she picked up her brandy glass, when she took a sip I could see she had forgotten the brandy and expected water. I broke the silence. "Perhaps if you invite them all over so we can talk about it." I paused and watched her as she drained her glass and went over to pour herself another. "But," I continued. "If, and I do mean if, I agree. There are conditions. The first two are going to happen anyway if you want us to stay together. You will give your notice in tomorrow and start looking a different job and you will have no more to do with Lucy after you leave, not just her but any of those perverted BASTARDS." The last word loud and full of hate and contempt. Then I will have a serious think about it and if I agree, you will promise it will be a one time, and I really mean this, a one time only event, never to be repeated and never to be asked for or spoken of again." "B'but I don't think I..." "NO." I shouted. I have had enough I don't want to talk anymore, just let me know when they are coming over and we will talk about it then." With that I drained my glass and headed up to bed. I set the alarm after I got undressed, not even half eight. There was no way I could sleep this early so I pulled on a robe and started to go back downstairs when I heard her talking on the phone. "... See there, yes Brian I'll wait." A pause. "Lucy, he is not happy, I don't know why I even let you talk me into considering it." another pause. "Well he said I have to change my job and not talk to you again." pause. "I am going to have to, he is well pissed off. As I told you last night and at work today there is no way he will go for what you do...........No, but he wants a meeting with us all." pause "Well he did imply he might as a one time thing but once only." Pause. "No I really don't think he will." pause "No... I am not really sure, he had been drinking, the only things I am sure about is he wants a meeting and after that I am to have no more to do with you. A much longer silence. "Yes Friday." pause "N'no Shaun as well," pause "god no not Mark and Winston too. Ok see you tomorrow." Enraged at what I had just heard I almost ran down the stairs. "So who the fuck are Mark and Winston and when were you going to tell me about them." "Two more of Lucy's lovers." "And have you fucked them already." "No no no I really haven't slept with anyone but you since we got together, really Joe." "Two months ago there would have been no question in my mind, now I really don't know." "I guess you just heard, I arranged dinner on Friday to meet up, I will cancel it and I will not go into work again. I will e-mail Dave tomorrow with my immediate resignation." "No, give a proper months notice. Dave deserves that from you. You shouldn't betray all your commitments because of that bitch. Leave Friday as arranged, let the slag and the sick cunts come over." "I'm so sorry babe, I don't know why I let her talk me into even thinking about it" I looked at her. "Really darling, I now think the whole idea is disgusting, I can't understand how it ever seemed a good idea I don't want anyone but you. I don't know how she got me to even think about it I don't I don't, really I don't." She was shaking, tears were rolling down her cheeks. I now knew she finally understood. I moved to her and wrapped my arms around her. "Right hun I need you to tell me everything you know. I was astounded, disgusted and god knows whatted when she told me about what was going on. Why the fuck does Brian let himself be abused like that. For that matter what hold had this bitch got on her, why could she even contemplate doing it never mind getting me involved. I still had questions, but for now I was going to concentrate on the matter in hand. "When I got home I thought it was the end of us, I thought you had destroyed our marriage, but now I do see some hope." I released her and then gripped her by her shoulders."So love of my life it's choice time." " I stood glaring at her, any hint of drunkenness now gone. "Me or divorce." "You darling I love you." she cried. "Do you?" "Yes of course I do how can you doubt me? Sorry stupid question. Although she continued crying a distorted smile briefly swept across her face. "No more asking for shit like that." "No never, I wasn't, didn't really want to. It's just Lucy wouldn't stop telling me how much fun it all was." Looking her in the eyes I just about believed her. "What was it then, the idea of big cocks, a gang bang, WHAT?" "Yes, No ,I don't really know, it was the way she talked about it, she made it sound so exciting, so natural, the next step." We talked for a while longer and eventually I told her what I needed her to do over the next couple of days. I made her go over everything until I was sure she understood what I wanted her to do. I din't tell her what was in the post today, nor did I tell her about my meeting. Jack and I worked hard for the next few days to get the roof stripped and re-tiled by Friday. We still had to work late on Friday just to finish it off. By the time I got home our "guests" were already there and hopefully had had a couple of drinks. I waved hello through the open lounge doorway and headed upstairs to shower and change. When I joined the party I was pleasantly surprised to find Brian and Shaun in the lounge and my wife and the slapper in the kitchen. Debs was right he was a big bastard, bigger than Brian, and he towered over me. Brian introduced me to Shaun and as we shook hands that confident smug grin he had, faltered when his attempt to prove his manliness by crushing my hand failed. I made a show of pouring my self a stiff vodka and walked through to the kitchen. Debs greeted me with a hug and a kiss I pushed her back against the kitchen sink and as I kissed her I emptied my glass into the sink. I released Debs and as I turned away Lucy tried to do the same. I side stepped out of her grasp and without a word I headed back to the boys. Brian and Shaun were not deep in conversation, instead, Brian was stood looking far from at ease, his eyes gazing at the floor, I realised also without a drink in his hand. Shaun was sat in my chair watching TV looking like he thought owned the place. I poured Brian a good measure of scotch and gave it to him. "No thanks." he said. "Nonsense." I replied. "Me and Lucy don't want him to drink." Said Shaun, his voice demanding authority. Ignoring him I said . "Take it Brian." then looking Shaun in the eye, I said with purpose. " A guest in my house has a drink, I insist, and will not have it any other way." without giving him a chance to reply I put some music on and turned off the TV. "I was watching that" Shaun again voiced with authority. "Something else I insist on, no fucking Noel Edmonds on my TV, not now, not fucking ever." Shaun didn't look happy that I had disobeyed him twice now. The three of us then stumbled through awkward conversations for about half an hour before Loose came in and announced Debs was ready to start serving. We sat at the table I took the head of the table with Shaun opposite. To my left sat Brian then Loose between her "men" and to my right was my wife. I poured out glasses of wine for us all, then I went and fetched myself another vodka. This time it was mostly water. Polite inane conversation abounded. The only thing said that wasn't pointless was how good the food was. I kept their glasses full, mine and Debs glasses were not refilled but swapped around often. Debs drank and I didn't. As we were finishing the main course Lucy finally broke, she addressed the elephant in the room. "We all know why we are here Joe, we know you want to ask about our playtimes before we play so ask away." "I need another drink before I start talking" I said. I got up and walked through to the lounge with my glass. I brought the bottle back with me and before I sat I made a show of emptying my glass and filling it again. "Yes your playtimes as you call them." I reached over and topped up wineglasses. "Now I read some stories on that website, many of them, as did Debs. We looked at each other and smiled I clasped her hand in mine. "Now from what I read there could many reasons why such things start and for it to continue it is supposedly to enhance a couples sex life." Loose drained her glass and held it out for a refill. I poured it for her as I asked "How did you begin?" "Well initially it was because Brian caught me with another man and it excited him." As she spoke there was a subdued "err" from Brian as if he wanted to answer, the look on his face was one of embarrassment. I said nothing and waited for her to continue. "I think you want to know what I was doing with another man, well to be honest I was bored and lonely with Brians hours and his shifts." "You work normally 42 hours a week don't you Brian?" He nodded in reply his neck definitely showing red. Not exactly abandoned was she? Fuck me if the weather is ok and the work is there it's not unheard of for me to work over eighty hours in a week, what the fuck does she mean? I thought to myself. I turned back to Loose. She had started and she wanted to continue, alcohol is good like that. "We tried with him watching for a couple of times but it freaked out Carl, my lover at the time and he wasn't happy with Brian watching us. So we advertised on a dating site and went from there. Of course when Carl found out what we were doing he went mad and dumped me. The bastard." That made me smile, Carl was happy to use another man's wife, but not happy to share with others. "How did you and Debs start talking about your "hobby"?" I asked "She overheard me talking to Winston on the phone the morning after a particularly good weekend session." There was no shame in her statement, if anything showed, it was pride. Brian on the other hand was starting to look more than a little uncomfortable. Shaun seemed to be spending most of his time looking lustfully at Debs. "So what would an average night involve, say for instance tonight when you leave here and you go back to your place." There were looks between Lucy and Shaun, I think they may have been under the impression they were staying for some reason. For the first time I saw a slight hesitancy in Lucy's face. Perhaps Debs had given them the impression something would be happening tonight; I smiled inwardly. "Er, I, er, we thought we would be playing together tonight, here with you both." "Did you? Oh, sorry, I thought you understood, this is just a fact finding mission for me, to find out a few things before we decided one way or the other." Lucy looked surprised to say the least, Shaun looked really disappointed, almost like a little boy that had had his puppy taken away, this was replaced with a hint of anger, I think he had finally realised this evening was not going to be going how he wanted. I also noticed a brief lightening of Brian's, demeanour. "Anyway Loose you were about to give me the details." "It would be easier for Shaun to show you" "You may be right but I think I need to know someone a bit better than jusht hello, before I say pleashe fuck my wife." I reached behind me for an ashtray, bad etiquette I know, smoking between courses, but fuck it my house my rules.I then added "Especially with a man that likes Noel fucking Edmonds." Shaun was looking at me, unsure whether to say anything. "If Looshy won't tell me, how about you Brian, what do you get out of this arrangement?" "Well er" "He gets the pleasure of watching me, knowing I am completely satisfied." Loosey interrupted before he could say anymore. "Yes but what does he get out of it? Debs told me it was to have more excitement, to enhance and vary your sex life. I mean how has it enhanced your sex life as a couple to have a Noels fan club member in your bed? Do you fuck more often, for longer in more exciting ways." "Oh no Brian doesn't fuck me anymore silly, I have Shaun, Mark and Winston for that." she giggled. I had to get away from her before I lost control of my mouth. I extinguished my cigarette in the ashtray and excused myself swaying as I left the room. With glass in hand I turned to them. "When I get back from the bog you're gonna have to explain that to me again." My vodka got poured away and replaced with water I zipped up and headed back to the battlefield. I listened at the door before I entered, they were talking too quietly for me to hear anything. Brian spoke as I was sitting down. "I really do enjoy it, the watching, seeing her orgasm again and again." Our seating arrangements ensured that as he looked at me the only people that could see his face was myself and Debs. He gave me a quick sly wink as he spoke. "It really became special when all three of her lovers are over, I love watching her pull a train. I'it'it at first I w'would fuck her after her lovers b'b'b'but..." There were tears forming in his eyes. "At first he would fuck me after them but we decided that we would both enjoy him more after a period of abstinence." Loose finished for him, it sounded like she finished a prepared statement. "Excuse me I need to use your loo." Brian said, his voice showing the pain he was in. "You may go." said Loose. As he left the room I ignored the fact that she had just given him permission to go to the toilet and turned to Shaun and drained my glass of water. "Tell me Shaun how did you get involved in this?" "Well I er went round to the station to thank him, he er, saved my daughter, he saved her life." I nodded. "But he was still in hospital, he had been badly burned. He was asleep when I got there and me and Lucy got talking, we became friends and after a while when they started playing with others, they invited me to join in." "And I am glad he did, his control, his imagination and inventiveness is awesome. I would never have tried half the things we have done without him. It is a shame Brian has to work otherwise we could play more extreme games, but we have to be careful not to injure him." Piped up Loose. Debs had quietly left the room as we were speaking. "Insjure?" I asked slurring my words now getting into the full on drunken act. "Er..." I guessed she had just let something slip she hadn't meant to. "Well you do the bondage thing we err might do it a bit harder than you." "Shorry?" "Brian likes the discomfort, the pain we tie him in uncomfortable positions." "Doesh he now?" I don't know about how uncomfortable Brian looked earlier, but Shaun was definitely looking uncomfortable. I shuddered as a blast of cold air hit me, I spoke quickly to cover, hoping no one else noticed it. "And tell me again why we should wan' thish?" "You like that sort of thing, being dominated, serving your mistress." "Parsshully true, I like loving my wife, I like making her happy and it is alsho true we are more adventurous than mosht. Yesh we have tried and until recently still did, bondage, domination, oral, anal even shtrap ons and even watershportshh." I confessed. "But you can't do that without trust, total trust." I noticed Shaun regained some composure when he heard that, the smugness that had ebbed away from him was back. Debs returned whilst I spoke. "But that to me is sshomething that is between my lovely wife here and myshelf, a happily marrieded couplesh." She grasped my hand, I understood her message, glad she had just missed my comment about trust. "But to me that ish it, a marriages ish between two people that have and do loves each other to be together as a pair at all coshtsh. What you do.! I looked at her and Shaun. "ishn't a marriashe, the two people that promised to do that are long gone. Brian is a victim, an emashiated fool that shtays with you in the hope that the woman that he loved, the woman that he married will return. You are nothing but a selfish faithless slag that allows yourself to be used as a foetid come dump for losers like this cocksucker here. I can almost understand your other lovers point of view, but you two owe him everything." I looked at them both, staring at them individually. "And how do you repay him. You, you fucking cesspool on legs, owe him over twenty years of your life, and as for shithead here he owes him his daughters life and you two cunts betray a good man not to mention yourselves and Shaun's family for what? A few hours of your pleasure and a lifetime of misery and pain at the expense of a decent man, a genuine fucking hero. Now the pair of you can fuck off now and never darken my door again or you will fucking regret it." Feuer Frei "You fucking know nothing about anything, your sluts up for it, I should know, I've been fucking her for weeks." Shaun shouted at me and stood with his fists clenched. Then glanced at Brians vacant seat. "Burney come here." he shouted, I was momentarily shocked, even though I already knew they ridiculed him by calling him Burney. "Go get him slut" Obediently Loose slipped past him and headed upstairs calling out "Burney you get your wimpy arse back down here now." I smiled as I filled my glass, they were both going to be furious in a minute when they realised he was gone, Shaun looked like he was ready to hit me, I needed a little more pressure to make sure of it. I stared at him "Your days of abusing him are done, now do yourself a favour and get your sorry, good for fuck all arse out of my house before I hurt you." "Fucking what? You think you can take me you little shit. I'll rip your fucking head off and shit down your neck." "ooooooo, I am so fucking scared, Cock Sucker." I said stressing the insult as I took a fag out of the pack. "Where is Brian you bastards?" screamed Loose as she came running in the room. "Dunno, did he fall in your cunt, slag?" I laughed at her. "Perhaps you should get four skin divers to go search. Maybe you can get them to fuck you afterwards, I am sure you can get loverboy here to stick his head in there and clean you out, I think you should know, you need a replacement." "I picked up my glass in my left hand, the same hand as I held my unlit fag. I flipped my Zippo open. "So, big boy, are you man enough to be her cuckold? Could you be man enough to take what you have made Brian take? Hey soon to be cucky boy." He started to move I threw the vodka into my mouth and flicked my zippo alight, he was rushing around the table towards me, red faced and raising his fists as I raised my lighter to my mouth and blew. He screamed as the burning vodka hit him and engulfed his face, instinctively his hands moved to protect his face leaving him open to my attack. Punching his stomach, then stomach again. Ignoring the flames I grabbed the back of his head and pulled it down, followed by a knee to the face. He was down, just for the hell of it I stamped on his bollocks. He laid there unconscious still doing a poor impersonation of Nic Cage in Ghost Rider. His repertoire was crap he finished with a really unconvincing Niki Lauda It looked more like a bad sunburn. Loose was screaming and continued until Debs slapped her round the face. Shaun began to groan as he started to come round. Debs looked at Loose and said. "Right tramp you had better take the human torch to the hospital and you had better come up with a good excuse for what happened and where it happened, because you were never here." Loose looked completely shocked, she looked around searching for something. "Where's Brian?" I looked at her and said "Safe". Realising they were beaten, they got up and left, blisters were growing on Shauns head and his long blonde locks were no more. As I closed the door the slag hissed. "It's not over ." Foolishly I ignored her comment and we set about cleaning up blood, putting things in the dishwasher and removing any trace that they had been here tonight, just in case they told the truth and brought the police here. Once we were satisfied that we had removed any evidence of either a dinner party and a scuffle I emptied the last open bottle of wine into two glasses and we sat down together and started to talk. The Letter and more. "Well it all started for me that night you came up with that stupid idea of opening our marriage up, that's when I started worrying, then when you had tied me up and the slut appeared at the door, it was obvious you had someone lined up to fuck. I was really worried. Its lucky for Shaun I got that letter because if he had fucked you I would have seriously fucked him." "You mean you would have done more than that. What letter?" "The only reason I didn't hurt him more than I did, was I don't trust that slag to keep her mouth closed any more than her legs. Bloody hell all he got was a little kicking and a slight singeing." I chose not to answer her question about the letter and continued with the things I needed to say. "But how about you, I got the idea you were too easily persuaded, what does that whore know that I don't?" She looked worried. "I'll tell you but please finish telling me the bits I don't know. I will tell you afterwards." Whatever it was I hoped it wasn't what I thought it was, but I agreed to finish before she told me so I continued. "I got home the day after; the day it pissed down with rain and picked up the post, it was all mailshots except one. It was hand addressed to me, I was curious I only ever get birthday cards handwritten to me so I opened it, and read. I pulled the letter from my pocket and read. Joe I know we don't know each other very well, but I feel I must warn you before it is too late. A few years ago I let Lucy talk me into sharing her with other men. I said yes because I loved her. At first it was ok, I will never say good but then Shaun came along and my life is now hell. Now it seems he wants to get his hooks into your wife. He is charming when he wants to be, when he wants something, don't let him get her and don't let him fuck up your life the way he has mine. I don't think anything has happened yet but I fear it wont be long. You can phone me at the station if you need to know more, and we can arrange to meet. The number is XXXXXXX don't take too long. Brian "I had thought earlier that day about calling in to see him at the station and then it looked like I should have. So I made the call." "After his shift I met up with him in the Drovers Way, a small backstreet pub that we expected to be almost empty. I already had a beer when he arrived, I offered him one. No thanks mate, he said then told me he would be in trouble just for being late and he didn't want her to know he was talking to me. I got him an orange and we went over to where we could talk privately. We sat down and he started to talk. He told me not to interrupt he had to get it all out in one or I wouldn't manage it. He told me Shaun is evil, he had destroyed him, his marriage and his life, he said he'd had enough and was getting out. He said that he thought Shaun suspected him, so he thought Shaun wanted to line me up to be his, that is Brians replacement and that stupid slag he married is helping Shaun to set it all up. He told me how she has been filling your head with bullshit about how good their life is, how much they like doing that shit. Then he said, and I quote. We, doesn't include me. I'll never forget the look on his face when he said those words, it really got to me. All I could see was a broken man. Then he told that he didn't think you had crossed the line yet but how the other day it might have happened He had walked in on you and Shaun, He said that getting disturbed had brought you to your senses momentarily, enough for you to get up and go. But he feared it was only a matter of time. I got the impression he had been punished for disturbing you but he didn't say so. Then with that same desperate look he said "Save her, save yourself don't make the same mistakes I have."" I had to have a break my eyes had filled up, remembering that tortured soul, wanting, needing help but being the hero he was, he had wanted to save someone else first. I told him that I had caught on, and now thanks to him I had a heads up that they didn't know about. I told him that while you might be believing Lucy but you were fighting the idea somewhat, I told him that you knew that I would never stand for it or you did after last night anyway. But then I told him that I had to act fast, and strike before they knew what hit them. I arranged to meet him the day after and to have a think whether he wants out. I said he'd done me a big favour, that he might have saved my marriage, I owed him either way." "We nodded to each other and I left, leaving him there. I stopped off to buy that vodka and headed home, my mind working out the plan. So when you got home I pretended to be pissed and tricked you into verifying what Brian had told me, and get you to admit things that you had been keeping from me. Then, as you know I told you as much as I dare, so I could make my plan work." "Yes" she snivelled. "It wasn't till you came back down I realised you weren't drunk, you have that drunk act off to a tee you know." She thought for a second then asked. "What do you mean as much as you dare?" "Do you really have to ask?" "N'No. I don't suppose I do, I can't apologise enough." I wanted to say I doubt you ever could, but I kept it to myself, instead I asked. "Well what it it you have to tell me." She turned red. "I'I shouldn't have done it, you're going to be angry." I got the distinct feeling she was not mistaken ,as I watched her summon up the strength to tell me. "Remember that Saturday night, a couple of months ago?" I nodded slowly, Yes I knew which night she meant, it was the night I first realised our sex life had turned to shit. I said nothing, my head running through the things we had done. Nothing new and I ended it early, it wasn't exciting, loving or passionate, it was a half hearted enactment of one of those fucking stories. First she had me kneel face down and she tied my wrists to my ankles, then my thighs together just above my knees. I was not comfortable or at ease, it was about a week after we had started to read those fucking stories. I was about to say something when she forced a ring gag into my mouth. Then she put headphones on me and played me music. That relaxed me a little, after all, so far, apart from the gag, nothing new. I had been aware she had left me alone for a while when she returned. She stood in front of me and I had raised my head to look at her. She was dressed in a black leather gimp mask with holes for eyes and a zip for a mouth, a lumberjack shirt, jeans and work boots. A black strap on cock protruded from the open flies and the sight of it all did nothing for me. I had feared for a second it was not her, but she pulled off the headphones and tried to sooth me. The only soothing it did, was to reassure me it was her. I was not relaxed and certainly not turned on. Then she tried to put the blindfold on me. For some reason I thought it was too much, maybe one of the stories I had read popped into my mind, I am not sure now. But for whatever reason I had objected, shaking my head violently and would not hold it still for her. She had kept on telling me to relax and calm down. She had grabbed my balls and squeezed and yet I had still resisted, I don't or didn't really know why, but I wasn't going to let it happen. Why are you fighting me? she had asked. Well if she hadn't gagged me I might have been able to answer. She had then gotten out some lube and started to grease me up, getting ready to to fuck me with the strap on, again I resisted. I might not have had much movement, but I had enough to make it difficult. Eventually I had convinced her that I was really getting fucking annoyed and was not going along with her plans easily, and she stopped and released me. Yes I remembered that night, it was when something changed. It was the night we decided that if we ever played bondage games again we needed a safe word and that safe word meant stop. "Please don't hate me, hit me if you want, but please don't hate me." I guess the anger raised by my memories was showing. Hate her? I didn't know. Angry? Certainly other feelings, emotions disgust, pity and probably sadness and despair. I took a deep breath before speaking. "Go on." I tried to keep my voice flat. "L'Lucy, I'I let her in she was filming...." That was as far as she got before the back door burst open. The crashing of splitting wood and breaking glass refocused our attention. Two men came through the open door, one holding a pry bar, the other, a pistol. The pistol pointed at me. They are wearing hoodies, baggy trousers and baseball caps. I might have laughed if it wasn't for the gun. "It seems we have a stupid Cuck'. One that hasn't learned his place." "Get out of my fucking house now." I shout, pulling Debs behind me. "Listen up cucky, that meat now belongs to me." says the one with a gun. "You were going to get to learn your place the easy way, but you acted up. You have taken Burney away from us, and hurt my friend, so now you're getting a crash course and it starts now." The shock of their entrance had frozen me, looking at the gun in his hand kept me immobile. "Come with me Mark, we will get the bedroom prepared" Lucy's voice, I had not noticed her come in behind them. "Come here bitch, or I will put a hole in the wimp." Wimp? Really? He obviously knows what went on earlier, ah well give a wanker a gun and he will think he's hard. "No stay behind me Debs, if that gun goes off he will have to run." I say, trying to convince myself as much as her. "N'no hun, I got us into this, I can't let you get hurt. She looks terrified, her movements wooden and stiff. I reach out to her, our hands brush briefly, hers is limp, wet and clammy. She gets to him and he puts the gun to her head. "Now cuck boy, you were right if the gun goes of me and my brother will have to leg it but now I got it against the bitches head, so no heroics." His voice grows louder as he now feels he has control. "Lead the way bitch, you follow cucky any tricks and she's dead." She turns toward the stairs, he grabs her left shoulder with his left and and pushes the gun into her back. Debs seems to be forcing every step, as she reaches the stairs I have an idea. I hope she catches on. "Going anywhere for your holidays this year?" I ask the man I assume to be Winston. "What?" "I asked whether you were going anywhere for your holidays" "What the fuck are you on about?" Debs stopped at the foot of the stairs. "Get a move on bitch." he said pushing at Debs. I took this as a sign she understood as she began to climb the stairs. Debs is approaching the last few steps as I say. "We're going to Wales...........Aberystwyth." Debs freezes, her foot touching the landing. Winston pushes her and shouts "Move." She falls forwards as I reach and grasp Winston's hood and drop to my knees pulling hard and punching the back of one of his knees. He tumbles over me and rolls head first down the stairs. I turn and run after him launching myself at him from the fourth stair I land on his chest, I hear a sharp crack and a metallic clatter as the gun slid off somewhere, ignoring it I call for Debs, she runs down the stairs to me. At the top of the stairs I see Lucy and behind her Mark is doing his trousers up I grab the keys from the hook and we run out of the door to the car. As we pull off a window smashes and we are showered with glass. I break the speed limit driving to the police station. Epilogue The police sent an armed response vehicle as soon as I mentioned the pistol. They found the house deserted apart from the body of Winston laying at the bottom of the stairs. He had a broken neck. Mark and Lucy were picked up at her house, both were summarily charged with Breaking and entering, conspiracy to commit rape, attempted rape, threatening behaviour and criminal damage. I was initially charged with manslaughter, but the CPS decided not to prosecute. Brian has moved on to pastures new and Debs and I are trying to make a go of rebuilding our lives. Will I ever forgive her? Will we stay together? Maybe, only time will tell. Will I ever trust her again? Not a snowballs chance in hell.