0 comments/ 51930 views/ 3 favorites Fallen Ch. 2 By: Sandia 1. I got up, leaving her lying there on the bed. I went over to the closet, facing the new outfits she had bought. I stroked a sequined black evening dress, its price tag still attached. “Honey?” she asked. I twisted the material in my hand. I wondered how much it cost, but the tag dangled, just out of reach. “The condom,” I said, “The one that was in your purse.” “Yes?” “What was it doing there?” “I told you,” she said, “I got it from you.” “But what was it doing in your purse?” I heard her shifting in the bed. “We were going to use them. . .” “But you’re not. . .” “Michael, nobody uses them,” she said. Not for. . . that.” “Not for that?” “You know what I mean.” I did. She meant oral sex. “Did he tell you that?” I turned. She’d pushed herself up against the headboard; she clutched the sheet to her chest. She looked at me. “He’s safe, Michael. . . You know that. He’s married. . . He has three kids.” The sex flush was fading on her shoulders, but the color was rising in her cheeks. Her naked feet showed from where she’d pulled up the sheet. I wanted to look away. “The photographs. . .” I said, my voice catching. I realized it’d been a mistake. “Yes?” she asked. It had been a mistake to look at her when she looked like that. “You looked like you enjoyed it.” “He asked me to pose like that.” “I know, but. . .” She shook her head. “It was just for the camera,” she said. “You were posing by the window.” “Oh,” she said. “Yeah, that made me nervous.” She smiled. Her grin faded quickly. “Michael,” she said, “We’re five stories up.” “I know that.” I turned and faced the clothes. There was a set of louvered doors leaning against the wall that I’d been meaning to put up. I nudged them with my toe. That wasn’t what I really wanted to ask. “Honey…?” she asked. I interrupted. “Did you—do you—enjoy it?” She said nothing, and I listened to the sounds of her shifting on the bed. She was sitting up. “Michael,” she said. She approached me and I glanced back. She’d wrapped the sheet around herself. It trailed onto the floor. She clutched it at her breasts. She touched my upper arm, just below my shoulder. “Whenever I talk to you about this…” She made a motion with her hand. “You get mad. But…” She searched my face. “You also. . .” She glanced down. “Get turned on.” I turned. “It’s not because I like it!” I said. “I don’t! It’s just a. . .” I paused, searching for the words. “A reaction – a physical reaction!” I followed her gaze, and found myself wishing I’d put on some clothes. She touched me gently on my stomach. “It’s the same with me, honey,” she said. She lifted her eyes to mine. “Just a physical reaction.” I refused to admit she had a point. I wanted to back up, but I was already practically standing in the closet. When she shifted, she brushed her sheet against me, making my situation worse. I gathered myself and reached out with both hands. “Maria. Are you fucking him?” I watched her closely as her eyes went a little round. “Michael,” she protested. But she quickly looked down. “No,” she said. “You have the right to ask. . .” She gazed back up at me. “No,” she said, “I’m not.” Her sheet was slipping off her breasts; she was starting to unravel. We gazed at each other another moment. “You know that, don’t you.” She pressed her hand to her belly, catching the sheet so it would not slip off of her waist. “Don’t you?” I watched her wide, ocean-colored eyes, and sighed, giving up. She put her arms around me. “You love me, don’t you?” she asked. She leaned herself against my chest. I could feel her smiling there. “I can feel it.” I kept my silence, not saying what I felt. After a moment I felt her hand slip down my back. She caressed my buttock. “Michael, can we put,” she asked, “your erection to good use?” I laid her out across the bed. “They say,” she said, “this is what teenage boys are like.” She grinned. I couldn’t help but smile back. “You’ll never know,” I said. She spread apart her thighs, opening the sheet for me. She closed her eyes and sighed, as I entered her, easily. “Only you,” she murmured, just before I came. “You’re the only one.” The next day, since my car wouldn’t start, and we drove Maria’s Celica into town and she dropped me off at work. I called my brother, who’d left a message for me there. It didn’t take him long, to get to the point. He said he’d been talking to our sister, to Denise. “She told me what’s been going on,” he said, “Between you and Maria.” I could sense what was coming, and I tried to warn him off, unsuccessfully. “A man who lets his wife cheat on him,” he told me, “is not a man at all.” Chase was my older brother, and sometimes he forgot we’re all grown up now. “You’re one to talk,” I told him. “What are you, gearing up for number four?” He already had a little girl and a boy; and could barely pay his child support. The rumor was he was about to divorce his current wife. We got into a yelling fight. “If you had any balls at all,” he finally said, “you’d throw that bitch out!” I told him to go fuck himself, and then I slammed down the phone. Chase was the last man I’d take advice from, especially about women; but still a part of me couldn’t’ help but wonder if he was right. Maria called, after that, a little after one. She said she had some news, but told me it was a secret. “I’m going to take you out to dinner,” she said, “We’re going to celebrate.” She mentioned a notable restaurant in the tower of our city’s most expensive downtown hotel. “How are you going to pay?” I asked. We hadn’t been there since I’d lost my job at CompSci Inc. She laughed. “Meet me in the lobby,” she said, “At seven sharp. Ok?” I said yes, and she hung up the phone. I walked the dozen blocks or so from my office to the restaurant that she’d mentioned. It was in a hotel that overlooked the river. She looked stunning, when I saw her. “You like?” she asked, grinning, and spinning for me. She clutched her purse, her going-out purse, in her hand. She came up and kissed my cheek. “I spent three hours at the salon today,” she said, “and then I went out and bought this.” She held out her arms for me. “Maria-” I asked, but she put her finger to my lips. “Don’t ask,” she said. “I’ll tell you in a minute.” We rode the elevator together. I couldn’t keep my eyes off Maria’s form. Her dress sparked in the lights and reflected in the mirrors. She was glowing. She was putting on a little weight. If I’d ever had a complaint about Maria, it was that she was a little skinny. Now her skin was taut, with a thin extra layer of baby fat. The elevator made a series of pleasant-sounding chimes as we passed through half a dozen floors. Maria wore a thin, diamond-studded choker; the one she’d gotten from her mother, in addition to her golden chain. The cross she always wore was hidden inside her dress. The outfit was off the shoulders; it would be obvious to anyone she did not have on a bra. When the doors opened, I made an automatic move to get out, almost stepping on a small distinguished looking man. He wore an old fashioned fedora and held a cane. He brushed aside my apologies, and got on, stepping carefully around Maria. It was obvious he was getting pleasure just looking at her. Maria didn’t seem to mind; she hardly seemed to notice him. As we continued riding up, I found myself wondering what this man would think if he knew what our marriage was really like. I stepped over to Maria and put my arm around her waist. The restaurant was just as elegant as I remembered, though nearly empty on that night. A sleek, expensive looking hostess, a young Asian woman, took our reservations, and led us to our chairs. She wore a black, crushed velvet mini-skirt, and a large diamond on a silver chain glittered between her breasts. A handsome, suited waiter held out Maria’s chair. He smiled down at her as I sat down. “Anything to drink tonight?” he asked, motioning to the wine list. “Champagne,” Maria announced, smiling at me. I nodded, and named a brand. “No,” she said. She looked up at the waiter, and named another brand. He smiled, pleased at her selection. I looked out the floor to ceiling windows. The sun had gone down. Its last rays illuminated an enormous cloudbank in the west. From where I sat, I could see the lights in Maria’s office, a few of them still burning on her floor. Maria caught my eye. “Don’t be like that,” she smiled. She caught my hand. “Remember, we’re going to celebrate tonight.” My own hand felt cold and clammy. “Celebrate what?” I asked. She squeezed my hand. “You’ll see.” I looked back out the window. I could see people, in some of the towers, their silhouettes made visible by the lights inside. She squeezed my hand again. “Michael-” Our waiter was coming back. He had the expensive looking bottle of Maria’s choice, and a bucket mounted on a little stand. It was full of ice. He looked at the two of us, and then he poured the first glass for me. I nodded my approval, and then we waited for him to leave. “I have something for you to see,” Maria said, reaching into her purse. I stared at the amber colored fluid bubbling in Maria’s fluted glass. “Maria-” She handed me a folded piece of paper. I recognized it immediately, as soon as I’d unfolded it. It was a printout of CompSci’s employee benefit screen. I used to come across these screens nearly, when I used to work there. I stared at it, questions forming in my mind. The first problem was that Maria was listed as a level IV. She’d been a level I, until just recently, and even then, the promotion could not have been to level IV. CompSci never skipped like that for people in Maria’s line of work. In fact, when I thought about it, I couldn’t quite understand how she’d gotten to level II. Her salary had more than doubled from where it had been. I suddenly understood where the extra money was coming from; why she felt she could spend so freely. I thought about my maxed out credit cards. “Maria-” “No,” she said, “You haven’t seen the best part.” I looked back at the paper, scanning for what she meant. “It’s backdated,” she said, giving me a hint. I looked – she was right. In fact, it was dated to nearly two and a half years ago, when I’d first gotten her her job there. “We can pay everything back,” she said, while I stared at the printed page. “Everything.” I found myself, almost against my will, doing the math inside my head. She was very nearly right. “Maria-” She glanced away from me, over to our right. Our waiter was coming back. I found myself hastily folding up the paper and slipping down it into my lap. “Maria,” I hissed, “This is dangerous.” She was smiling broadly, suppressing a grin at my expense. I felt myself growing furious at her. I watched as she tipped back her glass and took a sip. “Maria!” The waiter was standing there. He wanted to take our orders. She asked for the lobster bisque, and then we all waited for me to place my order. I stared across the table at my wife. She looked a little nervous; she began to take another sip. “Maria!” She flinched, spilling a little of her drink. “Michael,” she retorted, crossly, searching for her napkin. The waiter was still standing there. “Maria, do you have any idea how dangerous this is?” She looked across the table at me, her brow furrowing. “Michael-” she said. I slammed my hand against the table, clattering the silverware. “Maria, put down that goddamed drink!” She stared at me. I felt the waiter begin to slink away. “I was only going to have a sip,” she said, quietly, looking down. I stared at her another moment. I saw my hands were trembling. I got up and stormed away. In a moment, I found myself standing in the men’s room. How did she think she was going to get away with this? I wondered. And why had she ordered champagne, when she was pregnant with my baby? I braced my hands against the counter at the bathroom sink, and stared down into the basin. There was a man at the urinal beside me. I waited for him to finish; wash his hands, and leave. When I heard the door swish close behind him, I looked up into the mirror. My eyes were red. I looked furious, even to myself. I ran my fingers through my hair and turned the water on. I heard the door behind me opening again. Had I done something to deserve this? I wondered. I thought back to when Maria had announced her pregnancy. I’d reacted badly: “We can’t afford it,” I’d said. I remembered how she’d fled into the bedroom, and cried and cried, while I sat there, wondering how to make things work. The enormous man who’d just come in lumbered across the floor behind me. I caught a glimpse of him before he disappeared inside a stall. Could she really not know how dangerous what she was doing was? And what would happen if I left her? Where would I go? Did I want to be one of those fathers who sees his baby on the weekends? I heard the door open again. Jesus, I thought, was everybody in the restaurant coming in here? Then I heard her heels clicking on the floor. “Maria-” I spun around. “Michael,” she said, “We can’t go on like this.” She had her hands clasped together at her waist. I saw she’d started crying. She raised her face to mine. “I’m trying so hard,” she said, “I wish you’d try to.” I swallowed. I tried to take her arm. “Come on, Maria, we can’t be in here.” She pulled away. “Shut up! When are you going to learn,” she said, “I’m doing this for you!” I stared at her. I felt the rage begin to overpower me. “Michael,” she said, looking down, “I know this is hard for you too-” “You know?” I interrupted. “YOU KNOW?” I yelled. I stared down at her, at her down turned face. Her lower lip started quivering. “You don’t know ANYTHING!” I yelled, “You’ve taken a stupid, stupid risk, you’re ruining our marriage, and you’re ENDANGERING OUR BABY.” I felt a rush of shameful pleasure as I saw her face crumple up; I was so glad I still had this power over her, the power to hurt her so. Tears spilled over her lower eyelids, and ran streaming down her face. “Michael-” she said, reaching out. “Fuck you!” I yelled. “I can take care of things. I don’t need my wife to turn herself into a fucking whore!” She ran, sobbing, out of the room. I stood there for a moment, still trembling in my rage. I heard the man in the stall quietly clear his throat. I fled the bathroom too. She wasn’t anywhere. Fallen Chapter II Part 2 2. Our table was sitting empty, the champagne still swimming in its bucket. Maria wasn’t there. The waiter eyed me suspiciously. I glared back. No one would tell me where she’d gone. The hostess asked about the bill, if I was planning on leaving too. The lobster bisque was sitting, cooling on the table. I realized I had no way to pay for anything that we’d ordered. I’d spent the last of my cash on getting the Camry home and it was now sitting lifeless in our drive. “Can I pay you back?” I asked. She stared at me, a look of distaste for me crossing her otherwise pretty face. In the end they took pity on me, as well as one of my useless credit cards. I told them I’d call them, when they could run it through. If Maria had registered at the hotel, it wasn’t under my name, or hers. I found her car on the second level of the garage. I leaned against it staring out. I waited. An hour passed. I sat down in the driver’s seat, leaned back, and turned the on the radio. There was nothing on. Rush Limbaugh was complaining about people who love their dogs too much. I switched it off. After a while, I turned the key in the ignition. I hadn’t asked the restaurant to validate, and the man at the exit wouldn’t let me leave without paying for the hours Maria’s car had been there. I gave him my last two dollars, and then scrounged around for change. Finally he let me through. I noticed Maria had left her car nearly out of gas. At home, I pulled the phone around and set it on a table next to my chair. I turned the TV on. At some point I fell asleep, and woke to the ringing of the phone. When I picked it up, I heard the line go dead. I got up and went to bed. It was three o’clock. I woke up at five, sweating. I got up, showered, shaved, and dressed, and drove Maria’s Celica to work. I started working on the only project I had left, despite the lack of go-ahead. What did I have to lose? I thought. It wasn’t like I had other pressing projects that needed to get done. In the afternoon, I called up both my two overdue accounts. One said the check was in the mail; the other claimed he’d found a problem with my work. I wound up hanging up the phone on the second one; I knew he was lying about the problem he said he’d found. I called Nina up on the number she’d given me. But it was the middle of the day; of course, she was still at work. After a couple hours of not doing much of anything, I got into Maria’s car, and drove the couple dozen blocks to the building CompSci owned. While I drove, I wondered how long Maria’s warning light had been on. I had an eerie, strange feeling as I parked the car and got out. I’d parked two spaces over from the spot that had once been mine. In the gloom of CompSci’s garage, for a second, it was like I was working there again. I wished, for a moment, I could go back and change the past. I shook the thought out of my mind. I took the elevator to the fifth floor. I stepped through the glass vestibule into the reception room of the suite where Maria worked. I glanced over a Nina’s desk; she’d already left. It was a little after five. I hurried against the chance that Maria was gone too. There was a corridor, flanked with office doors, that led from the reception room to the cubicle farm where Maria worked. I noticed the door to John’s office, the third one on the left, was standing open. I hurried by. The corridor took a right and then, after another thirty yards or so, opened into the warren of fabric covered plastic walls where the lower level workers worked. The room was huge; it took up nearly half the floor. “Oh, hi,” I said. I stopped short. A trio of women was sitting together, huddled at a table in front part of the room, just around the corner from where I’d come. They turned and stared at me. None of them responded. “I, uh,” I stammered. I felt like I’d interrupted something. I glanced at the birthday cake, sitting in the middle of the table: “Happy 31st.” The blonde, I realized, was Maria’s best friend at work. “She’s down there,” one of the other women said, an attractive black woman with straightened hair. She nodded with her head. “In the break room.” I noticed there was an empty chair. “Oh, uh, thanks,” I said, wondering how much they knew. The break room was toward the back, all the way across the room, directly across from where the women were. I glanced back. The blonde was standing up, to get a better view. The door was standing open. I read a sign that was posted on it: “Remember,” it said, “this room is a privilege, not a right.” She almost ran me down; she’d been coming out while I was going in. She carried an enormous ancient carving knife upright in her hand. “Oh my God!” she cried, covering her mouth with her other hand. “You scared me!” I looked from the tarnished heavy blade to the fingers that covered her face. They were bare; she’d taken off her wedding band and engagement bands. “Sorry.” I put down my hands. She smiled unconvincingly. “Can we talk?” I asked. She lowered her hands as well. She nodded slowly, and then looked down. “Not here,” she said, looking around. All three women were standing, watching us. She led me back into the room. Fallen Ch. 20 "Where are we going?" "To the summerhouse." "Summerhouse? Why?" "You'll see when we get there." "You're being very mysterious." He links his arm with mine and rests his head on my shoulder as we walk. I shake my arm free and wrap it around him, pulling him close to me. It is a beautiful day, the sun is shining, on its way down and there is a cool breeze that ruffles our hair like the fingers of a lover. However, as soon as we step within the maze a chill falls on us, enough to make Star shiver and pull away from me. "What's going on? Where are we going?" He sounds anxious and I smile reassuringly. "It's hard to explain. Walk with me and I will try my best. Trust me, I will not lead you into danger." "Alright." He is still anxious but he trusts me absolutely. "It's not an easy thing to explain. This house is not in the world as you know it. It is outside of space and time. Think of a clock. Inside the clock there are cogs and wheels. Each wheel is a separate universe, each spoke of the wheel a different world. This house is a drop of oil on the axel of one of the wheels. The drop of oil can slide down one of the spokes and back again, it can grow or shrink, it can change its shape but it can't escape the wheel and there are many spokes that can only be accessed when the wheel turns, and then only from the other side. " "I don't understand," he says, perplexed. "I know and I'm not sure I understand myself. The wheel metaphor is an ancient one and perhaps, in time it will help you understand. For now all you need to know is that the house is as mutable as that drop of oil, it can slide up and down the spoke so I can step out anywhere I wish into your world, and sometimes, when the wheel turns, others can step into it." "Alright," he says doubtfully. "I think I kind of understand but I'm way out of my depth." "Wait until you see how much that drop of oil can be changed with just a flick of the hand. Before you came the suite where you live did not exist. I can make new wings, a new garden, completely remodel the inside and outside if I want. I can make it bigger, smaller... whatever. And, of course then there is the fact that it is alive. The house; the gardens are all part of one sentient whole. If you listen carefully enough you can hear its heart." "You're kidding right?" "Not at all. But that is for another time. Today is for something else entirely. I am taking you to meet someone." He stops dead and turns to stare at me, shaking his head convulsively. "No." "Is that not what you want? Do you not want to meet her?" "I... Can you? Can you really take me to her?" "At this time, yes. The wheel has turned and very, very soon it will turn again. But for a short time, yes I can take you to see Her." "Astaria?" "Yes." "I'll get to see her?" "Yes." "And touch her?" "Yes." "And speak to her?" "Yes." "And she can speak to me." "Yes, Star. Why don't we get moving again and you will see for yourself." "Sorry, I just... it took me by surprise." "Of course it did," I say mildly and guide him along the path. I can feel his tension grow as we get deeper and deeper into the maze. He is conflicted, that much I can tell. I can also tell they are conflicts he has to resolve for himself. When we break out into the open before the summerhouse, I can feel his fear and doubt. I put my arm around him again and gently guide him towards the door. His eyes are wide as he takes in the wonder of the summerhouse and the sights and sounds of it distract him. Turning his head from side to side, he soaks up the roses and the grapes, the water, the trees. I lead him through the glade to the river and, as he sets foot on the bridge, he looks up and gasps. The light inside the summerhouse is always low, no matter what it might be like on the outside. Here, there is no outside. The oil lamps give their usual muted glow and illuminate the woman who is painting. Today, she is dressed in forest green, accentuating the glorious tumble of her red hair. When she hears us approach, she looks up and lays down her brush. Smiling sweetly she steps towards us, her footfalls making no sound. She kisses me lightly on the cheek and then passes me. Taking Star's hands in hers she looks deeply into his stunned eyes. "Oh my darling," she breathes. "I had no idea how beautiful you are." She caresses his cheek and he just stands there locked in shock. She fingers his soft hair and touches his full lips while he remains silent and still. "You left me," he whispers at last. "You left me when I really needed you." "No, darling, I never would have left you if you needed me; you needed to be alone. If I hadn't left you things wouldn't have been as they were; you wouldn't have found Luma and we wouldn't be here talking now. I knew it would be hard for you..." At last he comes out of his stupor and his eyes flash. "Hard? They weren't hard, they were hell. Without you I had no one, no one. He... He never hurt me more than in that last year." He closes his eyes and shivers. "I was abandoned by everyone. My mother... you. I had no one." His facade cracks and he begins to weep. Astaria takes him into her arms and, although he resists at first, he collapses against her. She cradles him against her breast (lucky bastard) and soothes him, stroking his hair. "Hush now, child. The nightmare's over, as I promised it would be." "Do you have any idea how close I came to killing myself?" "Not as close as you think." He looks up at her. "What do you mean?" "How many times did you make the decision?" He looks thoughtful. "Every time, including the last time, something held you back... that something was me." He swallows hard, as he processes the information. "We don't have much time, dear one. I have to go and there are a lot of things I want to share with you before I do." "No. Don't go. Don't leave me again." "You don't need me now, dear one. You've found your soul mate and you don't need me holding you back. Things are as they should be. Come... see..." She takes him by the hand and leads him the rest of the way over the bridge and into the sitting area, until he is able to see the painting. His eyes fly wide and he gives a little cry. For a while he just stares and then he raises his eyes to mine, breathing hard. "It... it's my painting, the one my father found, the one he broke." Curious I hurry to join them and when I see the painting I am totally shocked. It is, as Star had said, beautiful; very, very beautiful. The figures almost fly at you out of the canvas. In the centre are two angels, naked with their wings arching gracefully over their heads and curving protectively around the two human figures who stand within their embrace. The angels are looking at each other with the greatest love in their eyes and the two humans have their arms around the waist of their respective angel gazing at each other no less adoringly. The quality is astonishing, truly astonishing but the biggest shock, the greatest astonishment is not in the skill but in the content. Each of the figures is easily recognisable. The angel on the left is Star and the human he is embracing is Sacha. The angel on the right is me with my arm and wing around Bridge. I raise my eyes to Star and he shakes his head in disbelief. "I didn't know. When I painted it I didn't know and when I met you I had forgotten. I thought there was something... something familiar but there was so much going on, I..." He is breathless and I put my arm around him, feeling him shake. "This has always been your destiny, Star. You were meant for Luma and he for you. Of course there was always the chance you wouldn't meet, you wouldn't fall for him; that you would be so angry with me you'd turn away. It wasn't as if you had no choice but still..." "I never had a choice. From the moment you started to sing to me, when you were the only thing that kept me sane, that brought me through, what choice did I have? Yes, I was angry at the end. I'm angry with you now but not so angry I can't appreciate everything you did for me. And how can I be angry that you brought me here? As much as I fought against it I can see this is where I'm meant to be." "I'm glad you feel that way." She takes Star's hand again. He is staring at the painting but when she draws him towards a low couch he follows and, as he sinks down, he begins to weep. Astaria wraps her arms around him and holds him close as he sobs. She looks at me over his head and we smile. I know this is his time and it is not for me to intervene, but still it is so good to see her, to be here in her presence, one more time. Finally, she draws back and tilts his head up to look into her eyes. He blinks, through tears. "Why so sad? I though you would be happy that we meet at last, even if only briefly. "I am, of course I am. It's just..." He sniffs. "You're the closest thing to a mother I've ever known and I didn't think I'd ever feel your arms around me. It made me feel like a child and to remember all I missed." "Don't look back, my sweet. The past is gone now and there is a bright future to be made." "I know and I'm not saying I'm unhappy about it but..." "Hush now, I known." She draws him close again and strokes his hair. "Star, there is something I would like to give you." His head jerks up. "Oh no. You've given me so much already, both of you. I can never repay..." "Yes, I can see the gift and I hope one day you'll realise how valuable it truly is." She gently touches the ring and again raises her eyes to me flashing a look that melts me." But that's not the kind of gift I have. It's not one which requires or is capable of repayment." He looks curious now and she settles him back on the couch. "The world in which you now find yourself is not the same as the one you left behind, or even the one in which Luma's house resides. Let's just say it's the hub from which all other worlds radiate. That's not quite as it is, but it'll do for now. "Suspended from some of the spokes of the wheel are spirals. They're filters through which the souls of those who live in that world must pass, as many times as they need to, until they're in a form that can enter the gate that leads to the hub. From here they can access all the other worlds." She smiles gently at his expression. He is trying so hard to understand. Then her smile fades. "It was my punishment long ago to be confined to the hub forever, and never to be able to pass through any of the gates, never be able to complete our journeys through the spirals to freedom. Only very few of us find the gates impassable." "So, are you telling me that when we die our souls come here and we can travel to different worlds?" "Not exactly, and only when they have passed many times through the spiral and are ready to move on." "Okay ,but what does that have to do with me? I'm not going to die, am I?" Astaria smiles. "Who can say? I'm not the master of your destiny, although I've been your guide so far. That isn't at all why I'm telling you this. It's just that I need you to understand something. A long time ago I got involved in a war. I followed my heart and fought for what I believed in but it was futile and we lost. Part of my punishment was to be imprisoned here, between the worlds, watching others come and go but unable to follow them, unable to move on. "The gateways were closed to me except for twice in all of this time. Once, I was able to slip through the gate and find my feet on the spiral of birth again. A brief span in millennia of loneliness, until I was pulled back." She looks wistful and tears spring to her eyes. I smile at her and touch the ring on my finger. Then, she takes a deep breath. "And the second time was eighteen years ago when, although I couldn't pass through the gate completely, I was able to open it far enough to reach through. I broke off part of my soul, and that was no mean feat I can tell you, then I reached into you world and I gave it to you." He looks shocked, but she doesn't give him time to speak as she continues. "At the same time, I took a soul from your world and brought it back here with me. It was necessary to maintain balance in the spiral. My only regret is that the soul who came with me was snatched from the spiral and has been as much a prisoner here as I am, unable to move on or go back. For all this time that soul has been my companion, my friend and confidante as we share a common goal." Star looks even more confused and shakes his head. Astaria smiled at him."We've both been given the chance to fall back into the spiral and complete our journey, until we're able to come here freely and move on. But, before we do that both of us wanted this moment in time, this one chance to stand here as we are, for one reason and one reason only... you." "Me? I... I don't understand. I don't know what you mean. You brought a soul? A dead person? Here? With You?" He pauses and his face changes. "Eighteen years ago? Eighteen years ago you brought the soul of someone who died, here? Someone... someone..." Astaria smiles gently and takes his trembling hands in hers. "That soul was your mother's, Star. She's been here with me ever since. She's here now. Would you like to meet her?" Star gasps, shaking his head. "I... I don't... it's not..." "Possible? Everything's possible here." "My father's not here?" he asks, suddenly anxious, looking around. "No Star, you're safe here." "Can I? Can I really?" Astaria smiles and gestures towards the glade. A mist has risen and is hanging over the water, blowing in the breeze. A figure is walking towards us through the mist, getting clearer by the moment. Star turns towards the figure. As if bewitched, he gets to his feet and slowly, step by step approaches until suddenly he loses control and runs into her arms. This is just too intimate a moment to share and so I sit besides Astaria and watch them walk away. "He's very beautiful Luma, more beautiful than he looks. You will take care of him?" "Of course I will. Do you really need to ask?" "I do, Luma. Have you spoken to him about ascension yet?" I frown and shake my head. "No. It's too soon." "It has to be soon, Luma. Why, I cannot say, but it MUST be soon; today if you can." "Today? No Astaria. It is all happening too fast for him. He needs time. He is not prepared." Laying her hand over mine, Astaria smiles her smile. "He's as prepared as he's ever going to be Luma, I think it's you who's not prepared. You're afraid of losing him." I hang my head. She's right. I am afraid of losing him, in many ways. However, I genuinely don't think he is ready to take this step. He has only just been introduced to the life and that was stressful enough, for me and for him. How can I now ask him to go further, to risk everything... for what? "I'm not convinced it will even be right to ask him at all. How can I do it to him, Astaria? How can I damn him to this existence? You know what happened last time. It ended badly and I haven't done it since for good reason." "Star is different and you know it. It was no accident I was drawn to him, Luma. He was born human but his soul never was wholly human. If you stop and listen to something other than your cock you will see it as clearly as I do. He is not what he seems and neither are the other two. Can you really tell me you haven't seen it, haven't worked it out?" I am truly mystified. "I don't know what you mean?" She looks at me, incredulity written all over her face. "You really haven't, have you?" "Haven't what, Astaria. Don't play with me, there isn't time." "Think about them Luma. Think about the way they 'feel' to you. What do you feel about Star?" "Well... I know he is strong, I know there is a fire burning within him, I see it in his eyes. I thought it was you..." "A small part, perhaps. You see fire in his eyes?" "Yes, red fire like..." Something is beginning to squirm in the back of my mind. "No, it cannot be." "Why not?" "Because there have been none born in..." "I'm not saying that he's a dragon Luma, not entirely, but I'm not the only one who shares his soul." "If that is so-- and I am beginning to think that you may be right, then... what will ascension do to him?" "It will make him what he's meant to be, Luma." She smiles and touches my hand. "And Bridge?" It is easy, once she has opened my eyes, to see what has been before them the whole time. "Bridge is fey." "He is indeed, and it's not even just a part of his soul. That's why he grew up without a mother and with a father who was bitter and cold. His mother is fey, I've spoken to her. She's distraught that she had to leave him with the evil son of a bitch who raised him. But it was meant to be." "And Sacha?" "Sacha's human, but a very special one. You know what that means?" She smiles at me but I feel cold, far colder than I usually do under that warm smile. "No. I know that, for the first time since the first days, all four of the races have been brought together but I don't know what it means." "It means a new start, Luma. It means that, here in your home in the place beyond time and space, you have an unique opportunity to consolidate the races and make them strong again. I doubt it will be significant at this time. It will make no difference in this war but as for the future..." She shrugs. "It's an opportunity you can't afford to miss. At some time it will be significant I'm sure of it." "You may be right. But I'm not going to put pressure on Star, nevertheless. Whatever he is or isn't he is my love. He is my part of you and I won't risk that for something that might come to be at some point in the future." She smiles at me, her lips twisted into the wry irony I so love. "Noted." Her smile fades. "Not for something that might be but for something that is, you will change your mind very soon. The choice will be taken from your hands and I really think you should talk to him about it before that time comes." "The choice will be taken out of my hands? It is not my hands that will force him into this, Astaria. This is his life and his decision. At the moment he could go back at any time. He could go back to the spiral and eventually be free. If he ascends he will be trapped outside it, as I am, forever." "What's forever? They told me my curse would last forever and here I am on the brink of breaking it... if not at their request then certainly at their relief. At some point it might be your strength to have the four aces in your hand." "I appreciate that but it is not now. I do not have to push him into it. He can come to it in time." Astaria looks incredibly sad. "If only that were the case. If you were thinking more clearly my dear you'd see the reason for haste but it's not for me to say and if you don't see it now, you soon will. I caution you though, look carefully because if you miss it you'll regret the lost opportunity forever." "I don't know what you mean, Astaria. You are speaking in riddles as usual and I have lost my edge. I have not been required to think like this for many years." "Well get used to it," she snaps with a mock frown on her face, then sobers again. "I won't be there for you, so you're going to have to learn to think and notice for yourself again." I sigh. "I suppose you're right, but I really don't think Star is ready for ascension yet." "Ready or not it's coming," she jokes lightly. "I mean it, Luma. You know I'm not one for putting pressure on you, but this time it's inevitable. It's going to happen soon and the only question is whether he's prepared or not." "I..." We are interrupted by Star, who is weeping but smiling at the same time. He has his arms around a large woman with beautiful glossy black hair, who can't take her eyes off him." Fallen Ch. 20 "Luma this... this is my mother." His eyes are shining through the tears and I have never seen him so lit up. I rise to my feet, take her hand and bow to her. "It is my pleasure, Ma'am." "The pleasure is mine, Sir. I have heard a great deal about you over the years from Astaria. I feel as though I already know you, although none of her descriptions do you justice. You are very beautiful, almost as beautiful as my son." She looks at him with pride glowing in her face. "No one on earth is as beautiful as your son Madam, or any other world that I know of." She smiles, a rosy blush rising to her cheeks. Star is grinning so hard I fear his face will split. I glance at Astaria and don't like the look on her face. "Come and sit here with me, Star. Lauralie sit next to him and we can mother cuddle him between us." Laughing, Star allows himself to be sandwiched between two rather well endowed ladies, one of whom has a very worrying expression on her face when she looks at him. Fallen Ch. 21 "Star, our time is growing short. As much as I'd like to stay here for a very long time we must soon part and all go our own ways. Make no mistake, darling boy, one day we will meet again and that time there'll be no partings. One day, I'll travel the paths of the spiral back to you and so will Lauralie, but for now we'll soon have to go and there's something I need to talk to you about before we do." Star frowns. "Do we really have to go?" "Very soon, dear one." "But it's been no time." "Any time would be no time for this meeting and I'm not the one who sets the rules. As much as we rant about it, our time will run out very soon and, before it does there's something important I want to talk to you about." "Don't do it, Astaria," I growl. "He's not ready." "Not ready for what?" Star asks, startled. "It is not fair, Luma. The boy has to know, he has to be prepared and it has to be now. You may not understand it but you must trust me in this. You've never failed to trust me before." "But this is different. Why don't you leave it to me to tell him in my own time?" "Because there is no time," she snaps and the frown on her face is real. "This is not a situation where you have the luxury of owning the time." "Why is it so important to do it now?" "You know I can't tell you that. I cannot influence the decision. I can only make sure he's as prepared as possible for when the time comes, and it is coming, sooner that you realise. If I leave it to you I know you won't even mention it to him, until it is too late." Star watches our exchange with anxious eyes which then begin to snap. "I think, as you're both talking about me as if I'm not here, I should remind you that I am. Could one of you, any one of you please tell me what's going on?" I give Astaria a stern look but she ignores me. "Star, my dear you need to think carefully about your position on the wheel. Do you remember what I told you about the wheel?" "No I... Oh I see. The hub of the wheel... the different worlds, yes I think so." "There are those who live outside the wheel. Some, like me, have been trapped inside it, in the hub, and some have been excluded from it to exist outside of time. They can touch the world and walk on the earth, but they can't become part of it: they don't die, neither do they truly live. They're eternal but eternally cursed to stay the same and never move on. Luma's one of these cursed beings." Star looks up at me and I turn my head sharply to one side, lowering my eyes. "I... think I understand. Normal humans like me; even if we stay here for a time, drink his blood and stay young; can still go back, live a life and die. We can move along the spiral until we reach the hub and then be completely free. Luma can't do that so, even though he doesn't die, he can't move on either." "That's exactly it. It's a lonely existence, Star, but it can give you great perspective and a broad view of history. There are great events happening out there, most of which won't touch you here, nor even your world, but the wheel will eventually turn and the war to come will touch every one of the worlds and everyone in them. "Luma's accidentally created the core of a very powerful force. It's not something any of you need to be concerned about right now. It'll become clear in time and it's a matter for a different day. However, what you need to consider and to think carefully about is when you'll take the decision to join Luma outside time." "What? Me? Be like him?" His eyes widen and he stares at me in abject horror. "I... I don't know. It's one thing to come to terms with this whole thing-- the house, the boys, what Luma is, what he was, how all the crazy pieces of my life come together, the whole wheel thing. I can't process them all. But... but to give up my humanity... to become... changed." He stares at me anxiously. "It isn't I hate what you are, Luma it's just... just for me... to be... I don't know. I really don't know. I don't want--" "I told her, Star. I told her you aren't ready to even think about this yet. You have too much to learn too much you need to know before you take the step; to even consider making a decision." "Oh, but you must, Star, my dear. Luma doesn't know how wrong he is, but he will; you both will. I don't disagree the choice is yours and yours alone, but you'll be making it sooner than you think and you need to be prepared, you need to know what the step entails." "I don't want to know. I don't want to even think about it." "It's alright, Star," I say reassuringly. "We don't need to do this right now." "Yes, Luma, we do need to do this and we need to do it now," she says firmly. "Trust me. Star, no one is going to force you into doing anything. I swear to you, when the decision's made, it'll be made by you with no coercion. You'll do more that consent, more even than ask, you'll beg for it and when you do you must know what you're asking for. "Luma was placed in this position as a punishment. His sin was the same as mine. Part of the reason I was imprisoned in the wheel and he was exiled from it, was to keep us as far apart as possible. However, it's possible to be ascended to that state voluntarily. There's a ritual that needs to be performed and there has to be intent by the one being ascended. Therefore, it can't be done against your will, Star. If you're not fully intent on the process it can't happen." "What does the ritual entail?" Star asks, curious but cautious. "It's neither pleasant nor easy, Star, and I'd be a liar if I told you it was without risk. When the time comes, you'll be infused with an essence that's deadly to the human body. It will separate your soul from your flesh. While the ritual is being performed an entity will be summoned and will literally suck your soul from your body and bind it outside time. When your soul's returned to your body both will be irreparably changed. In short, you'll become as Luma is, except in your case there'll be certain important differences." "What differences?" he asks, carefully neutral. "The attributes your soul carries back to the shell of your body are flavoured by the nature of the soul. Luma's soul is... something he can choose to tell you or not later, but your soul is forged from the family Draco. You are, in short, part dragon. While Luma's soul was forged on the anvil of war, yours rose from dragon-fire and was touched by it. Dragons are no stranger to war, either, but they're also wise and their healing powers are very strong. The essence of what you are and what you'll be is shaped by that part of you. Also, part of your soul is mine and would be merged in the process, to make you unique. Even I don't know what the end result would be." Star has been staring at her, his eyes growing more and more fearful. He shakes his head and swallows hard. "Would it hurt? The change... would it hurt?" "Yes Star. It will hurt a lot. There are drugs Luma can give you to help with the pain after, but there's nothing that can ease the torment of having your soul ripped from your body." She shudders and raises her eyes to mine. The experience we share needs no words. "Is it dangerous? I mean... of course it's dangerous but is it possible that it wouldn't work, that I'd never come back?" "Yes. The process is very risky and there's a very good chance your soul will be lost and will never find its way back to your body. If that's the case it'll wander the world for a while-- literally a lost soul-- then it'll fall into the void." "Has it happened? Has that happened?" "Not often with first generation; more and more as the bond weakens." "I don't understand." "Luma is first generation. He was the first to whom this was done. If he performs the ritual on you then you'll be second generation. You'll have the ability to ascend others, just like you were ascended, and so would those you ascend. The further you move from the first generation the chance of failure increase and the quality and strength of the beings created deteriorates." "'Beings created'? Would I be a 'being created'. I don't think..." "And you don't have to, Star. Enough of this Astaria, you are scaring him and there is no need. He does not need to ascend. I can keep him with me as he is." "For how long? What's the longest you've ever maintained a human companion before they slipped back onto the wheel?" "That's irrelevant." "Really? It was three hundred years, wasn't it? The longest you've ever been able to keep someone alive is three hundred years. And how long have you been alive... seven thousand? That's a long time being alone and a long time to be alone when Star's gone." "No." Star looks at me, his expression desperate and trapped "Stop it, Astaria. That's enough. This discussion is for another time." "Yes, it is, but I won't be here to have it at that time." She rises and brings Star to his feet with her. His mother hugs him and steps away. "It's time for us to go, Star, and Luma's entirely right. I had neither the right nor the business to tell you those things but you need to think carefully about them. A choice will be presenting itself to you, very soon, and isn't it better to make the choice in full knowledge than in darkness." "Star does not have to think of those things right now," I insist. "Three hundred years is a long time with a lot of thinking and he can make the decision, or not, as and when he pleases." "If only that were the case." She looks at me with sad eyes and, for the first time in thousands of years I'm angry with her. "Don't let us part with angry words, Astaria. Drop this insane obsession and leave Star alone." "What I had to say's been said." She tilts Star's face up to meet hers and smiles. "Don't worry, little one. Things will be as they're meant to be and, as I've said, no one will force you into the decision, one way or the other. Go now and live your life until we meet again." She leans down to hug him and then, together the two women walk into the mist and are gone. "Wait..." Star was so stunned by what was going on he was paralysed and didn't realise what was happening until it was done. "No wait... please wait." "They've gone, Star." I say gently. "They won't come back now." He turns desperate eyes to me. "I don't understand." "I know, and you don't need to. Astaria had no place forcing all that on you. Don't think about it, Star. Put it out of your mind. It is a discussion for another day, a day long in the future when you know me better and you know my world. This is not a choice you will be asked to make for a very long time." He nods but, as we leave the summerhouse and begin to walk back through the maze I can see he is deep in thought. "Have you ever... ascended anyone, Luma." "Only once." I speak shortly. This is not a wound I want re opened. But Star is relentless, as he always is when he wants to understand something. He will not rest until he gets the information he needs to make sense of what is happening. "What happened?" "Nothing good." "Was the soul lost? Did it... fall into the void?" "No but I wish to Hel it had." "Why?" "Because the person I changed, the one I thought I loved and who loved me, left me and became the perpetrator of so many atrocities it tainted not only his soul but all those he, in turn changed. It forever twisted the understandingthose on the wheel have of those who are outside it." He thinks hard and is silent for a while. As we approach the house, he stops and turns to me. "He made vampires didn't he? You're not a vampire, not as I know them. You're too... pure. But that's what he did, didn't he? He created more... beings and they were weakened and their souls were tainted and they became vampires." "They became the things vampires were born of. They were evil twisted things like the master who created them. There's not a day gone by I do not regret the decision to ascend him." "What was his name?" I look at him and smile. I wonder if he's ready to hear. I shake my head. "Maybe one day I'll tell you. It isn't who you think." "So Dracula isn't your baby boy then." "No." I can't help but smile. "If he existed at all he would be so far down the genetic line there would no longer be any connection between us." "Luma... I'm not..." I turn him towards me and kiss him. "I know." I whisper. "And it's alright." "Before we go back to the others will you make love to me... like you do to the others, make me forget for a while?" "Has it shaken you so badly?" "Not shaken so much... unsettled. The whole thing was... unsettling." "Are you sure? I have told you I would never use my venom with you unless you ask." "I'm asking. I want you to make me feel like Sacha did. I want to know..." He gets no further because I lower my head to kiss him and scoop him up in my arms as he falls. I see no one as I sweep through the door and head for the nearest room. It is the bathing room. I kick the door shut and stride across the floor lowering Star onto the cushions. As I undress him he looks up at me with wide eyes and a broad smile. "Mmmm," he murmurs. "That was--" "Just the beginning," I cut in smoothly, as I settle my naked body next to his. He smiles and reaches for me. I let him put his arms around me and bury my hand in his beautiful, soft hair, cupping the back of his head and drawing his lips closer to mine. He presses his body against me and it is I who starts to tremble. He is running his hand lightly along my ribs and draws out a small moan that I could no more have held back than I could have stopped my heart beating. I hook my leg around him and pull him toward me. He is smiling, I can feel it and I am smiling too when I blow gently into his mouth and his whole body shudders, as he lets out a long, deep moan. I gently disentangle his now limp arm and push him onto his back. His eyes are half closed and he looks... blurred. I smile and start kissing my way down his body. Every so often he sighs and moans softly. I rear over him and drink in his beauty. There is not much of the amazing blue of his eyes to see but the rest of him... the rest of him is breathtaking. His skin is as pale as Bridge's but, with Bridge, I think full health and sunshine will change that. With Star, there is nothing that will change it. He is like a china doll but one that is warm and soft and filled with fire. As I stroke his cheek and lips with my fingertips he stirs and lifts heavy lids to look at me with distant, drugged eyes. "What did you do to me?" "Nothing to what I am going to do to you." He smiles and there is still something feral in it even now, even when he should be barely conscious. What will it take to subdue him? I realise with a flush of heat that I don't want to subdue him. I lower my head and kiss him, his lips soft and strong beneath mine, still curved in a smile. When I run my fingers over his already half erect penis he gasps and shivers, as I have given him the same short sharp bursts of the energy he has seen turn Sacha to jelly. When I grasp him he raises his hips to thrust into my hand. "Not yet," I whisper and relax him. Raising my head I look down into his shocked face as I send pulses of alternating stimulation and relaxation and watch his eyes glaze. I am again surprised by how much he can take before becoming incoherent but, eventually he is reduced to a sweating, shivering, twitching rag doll, his body totally under my control and his mind so detached, so lost in the sensations which rock his body that he wouldn't be able to tell you his own name if asked. Soft low moans emanate from his lips and his eyes are rolling, as much out of his control as the rest of him. I have to be careful; pleasure can be as deadly as pain and he has withstood more than anyone, except Serif and Taz. I stop the pulses and simply continue to slowly masturbate him as I position myself for penetration. His eyes are closed now and he is turning his head slowly from side to side. Hel he's beautiful. He licks his lips and that small gesture inflames me. My own body is trembling as I ease myself into him. He hisses and even now reacts instantly and forcefully by wrapping legs that are weak but should have been useless, around my waist to lift himself for better penetration. I have stopped releasing venom and as I slide slowly and deeply into him he begins to come down and his grip on my body strengthens. He shivers, bathed in sweat but there is an edge of his natural wildness leaking into his movements which excites me even more. My movements become faster and more urgent and his breathing quickens, hissing through his teeth, as he thrusts into me as hard as I thrust into him. It surprises me to realise that I am close to release, we both are. He has made me lose control and I must not let that happen. It is too dangerous. I bend forwards, still maintaining my rhythm and he writhes under me, still gripping me with his legs "Having fun my sweet?" I whisper near his ear. "Bastard," he grinds out and I smile as I brush my finger over his neck, drawing the long sticky strands of his pale hair out of the way and causing his legs to release me. Now that I can move more freely I adjust position and build up the rhythm again until we are close to the edge once more. Once more, he surprises me, when he raises his arms and claws at my back. My fangs sink into the artery in his neck and he shudders. His hands grasp me tighter, pulling me in to him and raising himself to press into me. Raising his head he bites me hard on the shoulder and it sends me spinning over the edge. My own release triggers his and his body convulses powerfully under me as the taste of his sex flows into my mouth and envelops me. I barely manage to maintain control of my release. I couldn't go through with Star what I went through with Taz but, even so, by the time I gather myself enough to raise my head and look down at his flushed and beautiful face, he is unconscious. I withdraw carefully and lie down besides him. He stirs fitfully, as I lick the remaining drops of blood from his neck and when I start to run my fingertips lightly over his chest he turns his head and opens sleepy eyes. "Fuck," he says simply. It says it all. After a while, he turns to face me and for a moment I experience a flash of fear. Have I gone too far? Slowly a smile spreads over his face as his eyes clear. He touches my shoulder gently. I hadn't noticed but there is blood trickling from the place he bit me. He dips his fingers in it then licks them clean. I watch the pupils of his eyes dilate as he strokes the place again and this time smears the blood on his lips. I stop breathing as he draws close and I taste my own blood in his kiss. Fallen Ch. 22 When we pull apart his eyes are wild and hungry, the red flame flickering albeit lazily. "That was some ride." "You asked for it." "I did, didn't I. Don't let me ask for it too often. I could get addicted." "No chance of that my love. I enjoy making love to you straight too much." "Straight?" he asks with a twinkle in his eye and raised eyebrows. "You know what I mean," I retort slapping his shoulder. He smiles dreamily and snuggles into me. "We need to get up and dress for dinner," I remind him. "Oh, can't we have just a little longer? It's so warm and cosy here." I can't help the grin that spreads with the warmth through my body. I recall with a pang the terrible fear that crippled David right here only a few days ago. I made him lose himself so completely in his fear that he was aware of nothing but. In that one instant, just before he lost consciousness, he truly believed he was about to die in a terrifying way— and he didn't want to die. I feel bad about that, but it is past now. This room is no longer one that reeks of fear and pain; it is warm and cosy, because that is how Star sees it. Star is the symbol of how things have changed. I put my arms around him and pull him close, turning slightly so he can rest his head on my chest. If he were a cat he would be purring. Absently I stroke his back, playing with his hair as he draws lazy patterns on my chest and stomach. Gradually, I begin to realise he has something on his mind. I let him work through it himself. "Luma, you know what we were talking about today?" he says at last. His voice is careful. My stomach knots and he must feel it. "Star, it's alright. Everything is always urgent with Astaria. Take as much time as you want." "The thing is... It scares the hell out of me. I don't know if I'll ever want to. You won't make me, will you?" Horrified by the fear in his voice, I tilt his face up to mine, suddenly realising how vulnerable he must feel after what I have done to him. "Don't ever think that I would force you or make you do anything you don't want to do. I know it is a huge step for you to take and I would never push you into it. In fact I wouldn't even consider it unless you were one hundred percent sure it is what you wanted." "What will happen if I don't?" "As long as you take my blood regularly, I can keep you as you are for a very long time." "Three hundred years?" "Thereabouts." "And what will happen then?" "At some point, my blood will cease to have an effect and you will begin to age." "I see." "Star, I cherish the time I have with you no matter how long it may be." "What about Bridge and Sacha?" I frown. I know my eyes are betraying the shadows of my heart. "I doubt that Bridge will ever be strong enough to endure the ritual. We have to make the most of every second we have with him. As far as Sacha is concerned I may offer it to him later on. My one worry is that it is impossible for those like us to live together for any amount of time. Two of us, two who love each other as much as we do, would probably be alright, but any more wouldn't work. There have been times when I thought it would, but it has always ended in pain... betrayal, murder, disaster. The bottom line is - if we change Sacha we will have to send him away." "Assuming that I decide to go through the ritual." "Yes, assuming that." He sighs and snuggles deeper, lowering his head to my chest. I can almost feel his mind working. After a time, when I think he has fallen asleep, he stirs and sits up. "We had better go or Bridge will bitch-slap us." Our room is empty. I had expected one or both of them to be here. "Well, it's getting late. They're probably on the terrace waiting." Star and I dress each other, giggling over our choices. It has been a long time since I have felt so carefree and light. Finally Star declares us ready. I think he has been deliberately playing with me. As we approach the terrace, the scent of lilac wafts through the open doors along with the sound of laughter. Wherever Bridge is there is laughter. I was expecting just Bridge and Sacha, but I should have known better. Bridge is such a gregarious creature. Chancey is here with his arm around Ara, and Bridge is flanked by the twins, one of whom has his head on Bridge's shoulder. The other is doing card tricks, which has everyone in stitches. 'Sam' I think with a smile, then frown. Since when did I think of them by their 'real' names? My heart supplies the answer... since they became real people. As I approach they all look up. Alex pulls back startled when Bridge bounces to his feet and bounds over. "Luma," he cries, hugging me and then Star. "Come and see what Sam can do. It's awesome." Chancey frowns. "Bridge, I have explained this. You should call us by the names My Lord has chosen for us." But he can't maintain the frown, no one can with Bridge. "But Chancey, be reasonable, Sam and Alex have been calling each other by their names forever and they keep forgetting. Besides, Luma chose such silly names for them." He looks into my face with those big green eyes and I can hardly breathe. "You won't make them change their names will you Luma?" There is something behind his eyes that sparks warning and makes me feel... proud. "You said I could use my before name if I wanted to." "Bridge, that's different and you know it." "It's alright, Chancey," I interject, making sure there is warmth in my voice and not censure. "Actually I had already decided that it is no longer necessary to take away names as I have no intention of taking anyone by force." I smile at Alex and Sam. "You may keep your names." Then I turn to Chancey whose jaw is practically hitting the floor. "Spread the word Chancey. You may choose and so may everyone else." "I... I don't..." "I want to keep, Ara." A soft voice says. He looks at Chancey with dewy eyes. "It's the only name I've heard from these lips." He lightly kisses Chancey, who blushes but hugs him closer. "I don't want any other name either," Chancey whispers, smiling. "I feel I've earned my name and the sound of it from these lips," he says, kissing Ara, "is so full of music how could I bear to let it go?" "Well, I'm keeping mine," Bridge says firmly and sits down next to Alex again, slipping his arm around him and hugging him close. "Alex isn't feeling well. Make him feel better," he demands. I walk slowly over to Alex and raise him to his feet, merely by cupping my hand under his chin. I peer into his eyes. True, they are shadowed and his face is pale but... I motion for Sam to stand behind his brother with his arms around his waist, supporting him. He looks up at me, his eyes wide and I notice he is trembling and breathing hard. Brushing his pretty hair away from his neck I gently stroked his throat to relax him and ease a fear so deep it is almost palpable. He sighs and leans heavily back against Sam, relaxing as I bend my head and drink deeply. It doesn't take long to check what I already knew from the warehouse. I lift my head and press my lips to his. He opens for me and I breathe gentle healing into him as he relaxes more and more deeply until the only thing that is keeping him on his feet is the pressure of my body and Sam's. I step back and sweep him up into my arms as he collapses. "What's wrong with him?" Sam asks anxiously. Bridge is on his feet looking worried, too. "Absolutely nothing. He's weak and exhausted but he's not ill. Let him sleep for as long as he wants and in a few days he will be strong again." "He's never been very strong," Sam says with his eyes downcast. "I promise you Sam, after a few days here he will be strong, stronger than he ever has before." Sam looks at me with a direct, almost challenging look. Then he nods and smiles. I lay Alex on the couch at the end of the terrace and tuck a rug around him. "Chancey, will you ask Serif to come when he can and take Alex back to his room. He'll sleep until morning and then he will be much better." "Thank you, My Lord." Sam beams at me. I can't resist the temptation to reach out and ruffle his hair. "Don't worry Sam. Everything is going to be alright now. You don't have to be the strong one anymore." I am looking into his eyes and I see the barriers smash. He turns away but I won't let him. I take him into my arms and hold him as he sobs. "I'll see to dinner, My Lord." Chancey says gently. "I'd only come to see if you were ready. I'll send Serif." I nod thanks and lower my head to rest on Sam's. The touch on my hand takes me by surprise, I hadn't heard anyone approach. I smile. I never hear him approach. Bridge's face is so serious, so tender, as he puts his arms around Sam from behind, resting his head on his shoulder and whispering something in his ear too softly for me to hear. I raise my hand from Sam to stroke Bridge's hair and he looks up at me unsmiling. I tilt my head enquiringly but he simply shakes his head and lowers his face to whisper to Sam again. By the time Serif arrives, Sam is calmer and his eyes, although red and swollen, are at peace. When Bridge releases him I push him slightly away from me and look into his face, smiling. "There is nothing to worry about anymore, Sam. When Alex wakes you can tell him that it's over now. The worry, the pain, the separation, the fear. It's all over now." He smiles and nods, still tearful but so, so happy. "Thank you, My Lord." I smile and hug him. "I'll see you both in the morning. Chancey will come to prepare you quite early so make sure you rest too tonight." "I will, My Lord." He turns and frowns when he sees Serif. "Can you really lift him? He's heavier than he looks." Serif grins at him. "I'm stronger than I look." Sam is shocked when Serif lifts Alex in his arms as if he weighs nothing and strides from the room. He shoots me a glance, which I catch and shrug, then follows them out of the door. It's so much fun watching people meet Serif for the first time. "Luma," Bridge says softly and I look, smiling, into his serious face. "What's wrong?" "I'm worried about Sam and Alex." "Worried?" "Alex is ill. Maybe his body's just tired but his mind's hurt, Luma. It's really hurt and it's making him ill." "What makes you think that?" "I don't know. I've been talking to them and it just... Sam knows it. He watches him all the time and there's something in his eyes. I thought it was because he was actually ill. He looks as if he's afraid Alex is going to... I don't know what he's afraid he's going to do but there's something." Impulsively, I hug Bridge. He is such a beautiful, beautiful person. "I'll talk to them tomorrow. I'll take them together and I promise you I will get them to talk." "You won't hurt them?" "Of course I won't hurt them. Do you trust me, Bridge?" His quick smile returns and he takes me by surprise when he kisses me. "Of course I trust you. I trust you absolutely." He breaks off and raises his head, sniffing the air. "Food, " he rumbles with shining eyes. Chancey has piled food onto a trolley which he now wheels out onto the terrace. It is something that he picked up from somewhere outside. It has a heated compartment underneath which keeps food hot and a large wooden surface above where it can be served, mixed, chopped etc. It is enormous. Chancey takes out a huge bowl of rice and places it on the table, while Ara produces dish after aromatic dish. There are Indian curries, Chinese sweet and sour chicken and crispy duck, creamy sauces and crisp fries. Bridge descends on the food like a starving man, exclaiming over each dish and loading his plate with a little of each. Both Sacha and Star are more discriminating, taking a little of what they like, with the intention of going back for more. I sit back with a selection of my favourites on my plate and watch them. Star is gazing out over the garden where evening is dusting the air with magic and the stars are beginning to twinkle. I wonder if he realises the constellations are very different here. He has a contemplative look on his face and his hair is still tousled from our lovemaking. He is stunningly beautiful and it is hard not to touch him. I want to touch him all the time. Sacha and Bridge are in animated conversation about the food. They are both laughing. It is amazing how Bridge can bring laughter so easily to all who cross his path. He is beautiful too, in his own way and now it has been pointed out to me I can see the magic in him, the feyness in all he does. Even the emerald green of his eyes is far too bright and deep a colour to be wholly human. Why had I not realised that before? Maybe I had. He looks up from his conversation, his fingers half way to his mouth and smiles at me. Sacha gets up and wanders over to the wall. "It's such a beautiful evening. I'm glad you decided to eat outside. It smells so wonderful." "I love the evenings," Bridge says dreamily. That's hardly surprising. I wonder if he knows. "I've always loved evening. It feels like magic, as if I see a whole new world out of the corner of my eye but when I look it's gone." Putting down his tray he goes to stand beside Sacha and slips his arm around his waist as if it's the most natural thing in the world. For Bridge it is. "When I was a child," he says in his soft voice, "I had books of fairytales with pictures in them of enchanted forests and fairies. Some of them were the usual kind... really small with dragonfly wings, but some of them..." He pauses and flicks his hair back behind his shoulder. "Some of them were different, darker. They hid among the trees and were only there when you weren't looking at them. "They weren't bad, or evil as such but they could be spiteful. They played tricks and teased people. Sometimes they stole children. Changelings they were called. They put fairy babies in their place. I've never been able to work out why, what they got in the exchange but..." He gives a huge sigh and rests his head on Sacha's shoulder. "I've thought over and over that I'm one of those changelings. I just never... fit." I almost say something, almost. I'm about to open my mouth, but he presses on, his voice changing, becoming less dreamy, more focussed. "I used to think it in a bad way... that my mother ran away because of it and my father hated me because of it... because they knew I was a changeling and not part of their family. But then... then when the bad things started to happen, it kind of gave me comfort to think that. To think that these bad people who did bad things to me weren't my family, they weren't anything to do with me, anything like me... any of them." The last half a sentence is spat out with more venom than I have ever heard come from Bridge's lips before. Sacha hugs him and kisses him on the cheek. "Maybe you are a changeling... maybe you didn't fit with your family... but you sure do fit here, with us." He has his back to me so I can't see his face but I can tell he isn't smiling. I am about to get to my feet when Star beats me to it. He gets up and stands behind Bridge putting his arms around him. "I can believe you're a changeling, Bridge. There's something so special about you it has to be magical. You cast a spell over everyone who comes anywhere near you. No one can help but smile when you're smiling, to laugh when you're laughing or to cry when you're sad. You're a walking love spell and the most beautiful creature I've ever set eyes on. Yep... you are definitely some creation of magic and mystery. But I can tell you something." "What?" Bridge murmurs dreamily, his voice betraying the emotion that's always so close to the surface. "If someone did give you away, they must be touched in the head and they'd be kicking themselves silly if they could see you now." In the silence, I can hear Bridge smile. Somewhere birds begin to sing as the sun sets. I have heard twilight called the time between times and that is nowhere more evident than here, in the place between places. The lawn stretches out towards the hedge marking the beginning of the formal garden. It is a wide, flat stretch of velvet that catches the last of the light making a carpet of stars that mirrors those lighting the sky above. Gently, Bridge disentangles himself from Star and Sacha and walks down the steps onto the lawn. He is moving strangely, as if he is in a trance, mesmerised by the moonlight. I have heard it called moongazy. There is something almost holy in the silence he wraps around himself and no one makes a move to stop or follow him. When he reaches the middle of the lawn, Bridge starts to dance and there is no longer a shred of doubt in my mind that he is fey. After a very short time, he pauses to strip off his clothes and dances naked in the twilight. I join Sacha and Star to watch him. He is unaware, his face lit up and ecstatic. "He's beautiful." "Do you think he really is a faery?" Sacha asks. "What do you think?" "I think he must be." "I think you're right." Star remains silent, staring at the pale, slender figure who leaps and spins, his face uplifted to the sky. "What do you think ,Star?" "I think..." he says in a distracted way. "I think..." Then suddenly he grins and runs for the steps, discarding his clothes as he does do. If Bridge was an insubstantial figure, fading into the twilight, Star is a candle flame, burning away the darkness. Together, they are perfect; yin and yang, dark and pale, positive and negative and their dance is one of magic and mystery. With more and more complexity they weave an intricate dance of carefully contained abandonment, faster and faster until it is difficult to see where one ends and the other begins. Sacha and I watch in wonderment and awe. "Would you like to join them?" "I'd like to but I've no illusions I could." "I know what you mean. This is their dance." At last the spell breaks and they stand still, panting and laughing, embracing each other in the centre of a pool of moonlight. Even the birds have stopped singing and there is a hush over everything, as if the world is holding its breath. They turn and begin to walk back. Star has his arm around Bridge's shoulders and Bridge has his around Star's waist. Their faces are turned towards each other, lit by a magical half light that makes their features blur and dace so they look more fey than human and yet... and yet with Star that feyness is more... fierce. I can see the dragon in him now too, its shadow hovers over him as they walk, fire sparking from his eyes and sparks dancing in his hair. "What's that?" Sacha asks, more than a little alarm in his voice. "What's what?" "There's a... It's like a shadow over Star. It's making sparks, making his eyes glow. It... it's scary." "Star is a dragon. He doesn't know it yet but the spirit is strong in him." "A dragon?" Sacha laughs. "If you'd told me that before I saw the dance perhaps I wouldn't have believed you." "And now?" "How can I deny truth I've seen with my own eyes?" The two boys reach the bottom step and Bridge bounds up them, light spilling from his eyes. "It's a beautiful night. There's magic everywhere. Come dance with me, Luma." "I think you've danced enough for one night. You'll wear yourself out and you don't have enough energy to spare." "Please, Luma," he begs. "It doesn't have to be like that. I'll be gentle with you, I promise." "Eat your supper and I'll think about it." "Oh please, Luma, stop being such a mother hen. Please... just one little dance." When he is looking at me with that look in his beautiful eyes, how can I say no to him? I have never been able to say no to him. "Alright, one dance but you are not going to be letting this one make you feral." Bridge tilts his head to one side and stares at me thoughtfully. Fallen Ch. 22 "Is that what happened? I knew something was happening; I could feel it. I felt like a leaf on the breeze, as if my movements were outside of me, that I wasn't controlling anything, just dancing. Come ON, Luma." He grabs my hand and drags me onto the lawn, then stands tapping his foot and glaring at me until I take off my clothes. When I am naked, I take him into my arms and hold him gently. I close my eyes and the small sounds of the night resolve themselves into music. I begin to sway, as the music swells and leads us into a softer, gentler dance. Briefly, I wonder how we look from the terrace. As we dance, I look down into Bridge's face. His eyes are half closed and he is humming to himself. I smile and touch his face with my fingers. He opens his eyes and smiles. "Thank you for finding me, Luma. Thank you for bringing me to this wonderful place." "The pleasure is all mine, Bridge. You have no idea how much you have already changed it, changed me." "Have I?" he murmurs. Suddenly he looks very tired, as if the magic has deserted him, like the dancer on a music box when it winds down. "You look tired, Bridge. Shall we go back now?" He stares at me dazed for a moment. "Yes. I'm cold." And he is cold. I can feel him shiver against me. The night is warm but he has been dancing and sweat is cooling on his body. "I'll find your clothes." I let him go and stoop to pick up some of the clothes that he scattered around him when he threw them off in the passion of the dance. When I straighten and turn he is lying on the grass and the others are running from the terrace. Fallen Ch. 23 Instantly I drop the clothes and run to his side. "Bridge? Bridge, are you alright?" I raise him in my arms, wondering again at how light he is. It's as if his bones are hollow. Is it because he is fey? "He fell, Luma. There was nothing we could do; no time. He was standing watching you and then suddenly he just fell." "He exhausted himself. I should have stopped it. I should have known this would happen. He really doesn't have the energy for something like this." "Is he going to be alright?" "For now, I think so." He is already stirring, the long, long lashes fluttering as he sighs deeply and nestles his head into my shoulder. "For now?" I look up at Star. I don't need to say anything, they all know the score. "What happened?" Bridge whispers into my neck as I carry him back into the house. "You overdid things, just like I said you would. You passed out." He sighs. "I'm tired, Luma." "That doesn't surprise me." "No... I'm tired, Luma. I can't..." "Ssh... It will be fine, Bridge. You're going to be okay." "Will you stay with me tonight?" "Of course I will." "We all will." Star says impulsively and I glance at him. He drops his eyes and turns away. I feel like I've swallowed glass. Bridge is asleep by the time we get to the bedroom. He wakes briefly when I tuck him under the covers and he even makes a real effort to talk to us but it isn't really working, he's exhausted and incoherent and it is a huge relief for him when I lie down next to him and gently stroke his hair and shoulder. "Go to sleep now." "I'm sorry." "Sorry? What on earth are you sorry for?" "Being so much trouble." "No matter what you do you could never be trouble to me, little one. You are a light that illuminates my life. I would do anything to keep it shining brightly." He gives me a strange look and does his best to smile. "I know," he whispers, "but..." "Ssh." I touch his lips with my finger. "There is no but. Sleep, and tomorrow you will be feeling much better." "You'll stay?" "Right here; all night." I lean forward and breathe as much sweetness as I can muster into him, holding him close as he sinks into sleep. Afterwards, I can't let him go. I breathe in his sweet smell and listen to his soft sighs and let myself fill with him. I hadn't realised I was crying until I feel Star's arms slide around me and his light kisses on my hair. Although I don't want to let go he draws me slowly and carefully away from Bridge and into his arms. When I feel his arms around me and his warm, silk covered chest under my cheek and I think how different he is to Bridge who is always so cold, the pain washes over me in wave after wave of sorrow and I weep. Star cradles and sooths me like a child and for once I am happy to let go the control and allow him to. Shockingly I fall asleep in his arms. I don't do that. I don't cry myself to sleep and I don't let myself be weak and most of all I don't fall asleep in the arms of someone who is protecting me, taking care of me, loving me. I wake up in the darkness of the night and find that I am still in his arms as he sleeps. Careful not to wake him I slide out from under him and stand up. Bridge is still fast asleep in Sacha's arms and they both look peaceful. Bridge even has a slight smile on his face and it tugs at my heart. Unable to bear the confines of the room any longer I go out into the garden and breathe deeply the fragrant night air. I feel feverish. I have never been so reluctant to see the sun rise. I walk and wonder. Would it really be so bad to just leave him to recover his strength for another day? Wouldn't it be possible just to give him a little energy, just a boost to help him withstand the rest of the treatments? And besides, he's surprised me every day, he's so much stronger than he looks. He'll be able to withstand one more... won't he? If I could just have one more day, one more chance. I will take the chance and finish it today. If he is strong when he wakes I will end it. I will take the sickness away completely and if... The touch on my shoulder makes me jump. When I turn I have to bite back a cry of shock. It is absolutely the last person I would ever have expected. "I saw you walking alone and wondered if you wanted some company." "I... I thought you would have been in bed long since." "I thought you knew me better than that." Despite myself I have to smile. We fall into step side by side and the comfortable silence of old friends falls between us. "So what are you brooding about this time? As I remember it the last thing you got this worked up about was the First World War... and before that the French Revolution." "They got in the way of my plans for world domination." "There is only one thing you have ever sought to dominate, and that's not really a 'thing' at all is it?" I give him a piercing look and he returns it with his wide eyed, innocent smile. "You were always too perceptive." "Me? Perceptive? You have to be joking." The innocent smile doesn't slip for a moment. "I never joke about things like that." "No. You have never been one for jokes, although you used to smile more." "I used to have more to smile about." "No you didn't. You've never had more to smile about, not ever." "You're talking through your arse." I grind out. "Oh my, aren't we waxing lyrical this morning?" "I don't feel very lyrical." "No." We walk on in silence until we reach the rose garden. He pauses to touch the petals of a red rose. "It's beautiful isn't it?" "What?" "The rose; it's beautiful." He picks it and holds it delicately to his nose. He is truly beautiful in the pale pre dawn light and the smile on his face is gentle and sweet. "It smells as beautiful as it looks." He holds it in the palm of his hand and offers it to me. Puzzled I reach for it but before I can touch it he closes his hand and crushes it. I stare in shock as rivulets of blood trickle through his fingers. He smiles. "Beauty like this is captivating but fleeting and when it's crushed it makes you bleed, when it wilts it's even worse because then there is no blood, there is only dust. Is it better to not let it grow close to your heart; to turn away from the garden and stop smelling its sweetness? Or is it better to open your heart to be torn to shreds by the thorns?" He pauses, looking at me. "Are you really expecting me to answer that?" I snap. The direct, piercing look continues for a long moment and then he smiles. He opens his hand and the smell of crushed roses rises into the night air. It makes me feel sick. Then he purses his pretty lips and blows gently on his hand. I blink as a crowd of delicate pink butterflies rise and I follow them with my eyes as they soar into the sky. "What is that supposed to mean?" "You know the answer. You've always known the answer, but even when you were told you wouldn't accept it. You can't do it on your own, you never could." I lower my eyes to meet his as he slides his arms around me and I stare into his baby blue eyes. "What are you?" He smiles, his lips parting as he draws closer. It seems as if his eyes are growing larger and larger, dominating my vision and I am hardly breathing when our lips meet. He is like a peach; soft, rounded and smooth on the outside, but with a centre of stone. His lips leave mine and wander down to the base of my throat making me tremble. I gasp as he kisses me, slowly and with incredible sensuousness. I let my head fall back, feeling dizzy. "What are you?" I find myself asking again. "Think of me as your guardian angel," he whispers into my neck, his lips and breath tickling the sensitive skin, "here to stop you making the biggest mistake of your life. It's up to you Lumin'el. You've been on your own too long, the question is will you realise it in time; will you end this day with a handful of crushed rose petals or a cloud of butterflies flying for the moon." "I..." Before I can speak I find myself falling backwards to the sound of soft laughter. My last thought was 'How does he know my name?' and then... and then... I open my eyes and blink in the bright sunlight. I am lying in Star's arms. How did I get here? Was it a dream? Confused I slide carefully out from under Star's arm. He stirs but doesn't wake. The other two are fast asleep, just as they had been the last time. I stand looking down at them and I now have two things to be concerned about. With a sigh I turn and walk out of the room. The sunlight is streaming through the windows and it is going to be another beautiful day. I take a quick shower and dress simply. It's still only eight o clock so I wander aimlessly for a while and find myself outside a door. I put my hand on it to open it and then I pause and knock. A surprised voice calls, "Come in." He's lying on the bed; ankles crossed, arms behind his head, staring out of the window. As usual, every flat surface, including the floor is scattered with paper and discarded clothes. The door of the wardrobe is open spilling more clothes onto the floor. The television is buried under a pile of clothes and the computer is about to vanish under the papers stacked on the desk. Something crackles when I take a step inside and I bend to pick up a piece of paper. It bears a water colour painting of a pink butterfly, so delicate and so detailed I could swear it is about to fly away. I gently place it on a nearby table and look around at the rest of the papers that have been scattered around seemingly haphazardly. They are all paintings, all of individual subjects, all in watercolour and ink in shades of lilac and pale pink. There is a rose, a five pointed star with flowers at each point, an angel, a claw, a chalice... frankly they creep me out and I can't really say why. Shuffling the paintings together I place them carefully on the table with the butterfly while he watches me thoughtfully. I glance around the room. The only part of it that is neat and organised is the part he uses as an art studio. There is an easel, a set of drawers that house paper, paints, pencils and various other things I ignorantly think of as useless tat. He is a talented artist, but careless with his work. "What have you been working on?" I know him well enough that, when I see work scattered in some kind of order on the floor I know he has been spending time sitting cross legged on the bed frowning at them. "I don't know." He shrugs. "It came to me but now it's done I don't know what it means." "They're very beautiful." I pick up the rose and stare at it. I can almost smell it. I trace the delicate petals with my finger. "Did you come here to discuss my art, My Lord?" He always gives a very slight emphasis to the 'My Lord' that, coupled with the hint of a smile on his face, makes it sound as if he's mocking me. Maybe he is. "Much as I would like to discuss your art and much as I realise how long I've neglected doing that..." I suddenly find myself caught up with my own words and I raise my eyes again to really look around me. The walls are covered with artwork in different mediums, often pinned carelessly; overlapping, complimenting, clashing. With the mounds of clothes the room is a cacophony of colour and... Something is bothering me. Something about the art... the colour, the subjects. Something is screaming at me but I can't see it. "My Lord?" I drag my eyes back to the boy who is smiling at me with a look in his eyes that, for some reason, makes me shiver. "I'm sorry. I got... distracted. Was it you?" He raises an eyebrow. "Was what me?" "You know what I'm talking about." "Uh oh, that sounds serious. What am I supposed to have done now... My Lord?" He's playing with me. I have often had this feeling with him before and nothing has changed, but this time I am watching and it is clear. I look into his big blue eyes, gazing innocently up at my through his thick lashes and his perfect lips lifted in a slightly mocking smile and suddenly I laugh. "What are you?" The smile slips from his lips and his eyes stop mocking me, filling instead with a smouldering look that makes my own smile vanish. I shiver. An enormous natural force is rising up in front of me and I feel like a butterfly pinned to a board. He stares into my eyes and lifts a hand to touch my cheek, making me shiver. "You've asked me that before," he whispers through those beautiful soft lips that I suddenly want to kiss so badly I can taste it. "You never answered me." He circles me and I turn with him, like dancers in a sensual tango. "I think I did." "So it was you... in the garden?" He stops circling and brushes his lips over mine, making me tingle. "Who else?" "You said you are my guardian angel." He smiles a strange smile. "I have a strange sense of humour." "Everything about you is strange." "Not everything." He kisses me harder, smelling of smoke and roses. His hands press against my back and I swear he is drugging me with his breath. "No... I..." "Ssh," he murmurs without taking his lips from mine. I feel his tongue slip into my mouth and then everything... changes. The room seems to melt into a kaleidoscope of swirling colour and the only thing that is stable is his face, his eyes. I feel as if he is lifting me and then I am lying down and he is on me, skin against skin. His lips... his wonderful soft lips are roving over my body and his tongue flicks fire into me. "Wait I..." "Relax, My Lord. This is my time. Open to me." This time there is no mistaking the mockery, or the command in his voice. A kernel of doubt worms in my mind. When I spoke to Astaria and Star of the companion who has been with me the longest, it is him. He has been at my side for more than three hundred years. When I took him he was a boy of eighteen and now... he still looks like a boy of eighteen. What if... what if when I took him he only seemed to be eighteen? What if...? "What if I really am your guardian angel?" He slides up my body like a snake and presses his lips against mine. "After all... you named me yourself." I try to speak but I can't, and then I lose my ability to form coherent thoughts as he raises his hips and slides his hand between us, sending me spinning on a journey such as I have never been on before. Occasionally, I am aware of his face, his eyes unblinking and wide, his lips curving, his tongue... oh Hel the things that tongue is doing to me. Gradually, the swirling colours change. At first they are blue and green and purple, shot through with dark reds and black, but they slowly change and the red becomes crimson and the black turns spiky, striking sparks and igniting flames in my guts. I burn. Oh Hel I burn. I become aware of a desperate grunting noise interspersed with whimpers and I gradually come to realise that it is me. My body is on fire, shaking uncontrollably. I have never been out of control of my body before and I am not sure I entirely like it. "Of course you like it." The sweet voice whispers in my ear. "Or at least you're about to." The world explodes and my gut turns to fire. I feel him enter me but it feels huge, as if it is no longer our bodies that are joined but two worlds, worlds of fire, worlds of heat, worlds of... of... He rides me hard and fast, his head thrown back, his hair cascading in waves of gold down his back. His skin is sunkissed, sparkling with a diamond sheen. He is a god, a creature of legend a... a... "Fuck. Fuck!" "It's taken a while," he says smiling down at me his angel face surrounded by golden flames, his eyes exploding, each pupil a supernova, a galaxy of exploding stars. For a moment time stops, the earth stops spinning, the universe holds its breath. For a moment we are suspended in nothing. For a moment he is as big as a planet, as wild as the wind, as beautiful as a mother's smile. And then it all crashes back and he plunges into me and triggers a climax I swear shakes the foundations of the house. I lie, gasping for breath like a fish out of water and slowly become aware of someone stroking my chest. Two realisations hit me... I am naked and I am naked with Him. "What...?" I gasp looking up into his eyes. Serif smiles a gentle smile that is more open than any I have ever seen on his face. "Hello Lumin'el." "But... But how...? Why? Why did you never say anything?" "You weren't ready to hear." "But... you have been with me for over three hundred years. How have you hidden it for so long?" "I haven't," he says smiling. "I never hid anything; you just chose not to see." "But you have... you must have..." "You've tasted my blood, Luma. I've seen it in your eyes that you have always known, from the start, that I am not human. When you drained me yesterday you knew you had gone beyond what a human could recover from. You knew from the moment you raised your head that I should have been long dead. You knew... you just didn't want to see." "Why...?" "What would you have done, Luma? Three hundred years ago, what would you have done if I had said to you that I am as you are; if I had shown you what lies in my soul? Would you have taken me to your breast? Would you have loved me? Would you have kept me with you? Two hundred years ago? A hundred; fifty; ten? What would you have done a year ago, Luma?" I look away but he forces my face back to look into his eyes. "What would you have done, Luma," he asks softly. "Would you have run?" I shake my head and tell the truth. "No. I would have fought you to the death." He smiles. "I would have expected nothing else." "What changed? Why now? Why have you revealed yourself now?" "I told you, Luma, I have never hidden. You were the one who was hiding. It wasn't me who changed; it was you." "Much as I would like to believe that, I know it isn't true." I smile and reach up to touch the wonderful spun gold hair. Now I know, I can see it, of course I can, of course I always have. I can practically see the shadow of wings on his back. "Are you first generation?" I ask, not really knowing why. "Depends what you mean by that. I was there when you fell but I didn't stand by you in the fall. I didn't believe what you believed; not then. I wasn't banished. I was a spoiled child, a cosseted spoiled brat. I thought I knew everything." "What changed?" He climbs off me and lies down at my side, making himself comfortable and wrapping a blanket around us. "I did." A thousand years is a long time; five, six. I grew up. Things didn't stop when you left, they carried on and they didn't get any better. The Council got more and more powerful and they used the threat of what happened to you to quell any kind of resistance. "Over time they became corrupt." He laughs shortly. "No, they were already corrupt, but after you were banished there was no one left to show up the corruption. There were others who saw and, as the centuries wore on there were more and more and they started to speak up." He frowns and gives me an appraising look, then continues. "At first the Council tried to quash the rebellious talk. They got harsher and harsher until it was practically a dictatorship and people lived in fear. It couldn't last. There were outbreaks of rebellion, wars if you like, and the Council kept coming down harder and harder on anyone who spoke against them. One of them was my best friend..." He hesitates. "My lover. He just couldn't keep quiet anymore and he had to confront the injustice." He pauses again and his eyes are bright with tears. "They 'made an example' of him. They... took him into the square in front of the temple and stripped him. They beat him and humiliated him... and then... then they burned him." "Burned him?" "Seraphim." "But you..." "Yeah. Yeah I am a Seraph. I didn't take part but my friends and family did. The people I loved and trusted did. The people I looked up to; that I cared for; that had reassured me and comforted me... they all did. They wanted me to take part. They demanded that I help destroy the one person who had ever touched my soul. They threatened me and warned me, segregated me and constantly chipped away at my resolve. Fallen Ch. 23 "I was humiliated, beaten, locked up, abused, spat on. On the last day, I walked out into the square and watched. He looked into my eyes and kept looking into them until they cut him off from my view. I listened to his screams, watched my friends and family surround him and burn him and then I knelt in the ash and wept. "They dragged me away and locked me in the cellars of the city hall. They told me I would be put on trial for treason and I would be lucky to escape his fate." "Damn. What did you do?" "I sat and wept for three days. At that time, I was ready to accept death and I was simply waiting for it. But then... I started to think, to wonder what good it would do if I died, what difference it would make in our world if one more voice was silenced. I started to dream about him and in every dream he was yelling at me; telling me he would be so disappointed if I just gave up, that I would dishonour his memory, throw his love back in his face if I wasted it; wasted my life." He looked up and grinned at me. "So I blasted through the walls and walked away." "Didn't they come after you?" "Of course they did?" "But..." "I'm a Seraph, Luma." He shrugs. There is no need to say more. The Seraphim are truly a force to be reckoned with. When in their true form just to look at them is death. They contain a fire so hot and intense it melts rock. "Why did you come here?" "Where else did I have to go? I couldn't stay there. Quite apart from the fact they were beying for my blood, I couldn't stand what the Council were doing to our people any more. So I left. I went to the hub and spoke to Astaria; and she sent me to you." I groan. "Astaria, I should have known." "She's a force, Luma. We're lucky the Council never took her seriously. She was a human after all: what power did she have? What could she do to upset the balance?" he sneered sarcastically. "You'd have thought they would have learned by now." "They have learned." He raises an eyebrow. "They've sent her back to the spiral." Serif laughs. "That doesn't surprise me. Did she tell you they're on the brink of war?" "She mentioned a war." "They're poised to bring down the Council... or at least to try." "Really?" I thought I would feel more when this day came. I thought the prospect of the Council falling would make me feel.... something. But now it comes down to it I really don't care. It makes no difference to me whether they stand or fall. Revenge is hollow and I would never go back, no matter what. This is my home now. Serif smiles. "You don't look too excited about the news." "I'm not. That part of my life is closed now. Eden is no longer my home; this is." "But wouldn't you want to be able to go back? Even if you don't want to live there anymore wouldn't you like to be able to go back, to see your friends again?" "I don't have any friends there now." "No, but if the exiles were allowed to return you would have." For a moment my pulses race. To see them again; to hold them; to... They were my men, my loyal followers. The last time I saw them they were bleeding and dying, following me into an exile of the soul. To see them whole again; together again? But those times are gone. "It would be nice, yes but there's been a lot of water under the bridge— for all of us. I don't know..." He looks serious. "I know what you mean. I feel like that... kind of. I couldn't look them in the eyes again. I couldn't live among them. But it's different for you. You had friends who were exiled with you..." "Seven thousand years ago. Do you have any idea how much people change in seven thousand years of exile?" "No." He shakes his head. "I've never thought about it. I suppose you're right. But you wouldn't turn them away would you? If they came knocking at your door you wouldn't turn them away?" He sounds anxious and I narrow my eyes. "What do you know?" He looks down. "Well... are you going to send me away?" "No, of course not. You are who you are, who you always were. The way I feel about you, that I've felt about you for the last three hundred years, hasn't changed. Although, perhaps we can drop the My Lord now. Technically I should be saying it to you." "Perhaps I should make you for a while. It could be amusing." The smile fades and he shakes his head. "But what if there were others? Another?" I narrow my eyes again and there is a flash of fear in his. A lightbulb goes on. "Taz." He bites his lip. "I should have known. There is no way a human would have survived my seed." "He is not first generation. He is Taz's son by a human woman. He was born here about five thousand years ago." "He found her again then," I say thinking back to beautiful Tazi'el and his lovely wife. She was pregnant at the fall, many were, my beautiful Astaria for one. None of those children survived but many of the humans were simply sent back to the spiral and not exiled outside of it. If I have found my way back here then it is reasonable to suppose that others would have too. Funny that I have never thought of it before. I have never cared before. "Is his father...?" "No. I don't know the details and neither does he but his father is... gone." "Gone?" "Taken out of existence." I am shocked. Of course, I know it is the only way one of us can be truly destroyed but to think that it has actually happened to one... and probably more. "Soooo." "Sorry?" I must have been out of it, lost in the past. I can tell he has been speaking and is waiting for me to comment on what he has said but I have no recollection of it. "Taz? You won't make Taz leave?" He looks anxious and I remember the way he had looked when Taz was hurt; how Taz had practically attacked me when I drained Serif. But I also know what happens when my kind try to live together. But we have lived side by side for the best part of three hundred years, and Taz is the son of my best friend. Everything has changed. I don't know anything anymore, not for sure. "I'll try. To be honest with you Serif, my experience of our kind living together on Earth is not good." "But we're not on Earth now, not really. We're in your house; your home and we still have enough respect to honour that." "You've spoken about it?" "Of course we have. It has been our biggest fear for many years that you would discover the truth of what we are and send us away. Where else would we go?" "You would always find a place, but no, I won't send you away, either of you. Things have changed; we'll try and see how it works." Serif grins, a beautiful, brilliant, terrifying smile. "But why would you reveal yourselves now?" I try again to get him to answer. He looks serious and frowns. "Many reasons." "Try me with one." "One... things are changing; have changed. You are different. You are in a place to accept now, not to just react." "Yes... there is that... but why now? Why right now?" "Because you are about to make a monumental mistake and I couldn't just stand back and let you make it without at least trying to do something about it." "What do you mean?" "I can't tell you." I lift myself up and look down at him. Those innocent eyes look back. "Serif, you can't do this, not after what you just said. You said I was going to make a mistake and I know it has something to do with Bridge. You can't say that and then not tell me what it is." "Yes I can. Luma, you have to trust me on this. I can't tell you because if I do it will create an intolerable pressure that could ruin everything. I can't tell you what it is but by telling you that it is I have drawn your attention to it and hopefully you will recognise it and take the right path." "Serif, this could be Bridge's life." "Yes," he says staring levelly at me, "it could; which is why I can't say another word." "Serif!" But he won't. He shakes his head and compresses his lips and I know the look very well. As frustrated as I am I know that there is no point in pressing him further. Annoyed and shaken I get up and get dressed. I wonder, not for the first time how he managed to undress me without me even being aware of it. "Did you enjoy the ride?" he purrs from them bed and I glare at him. "Tidy your room, it's a pig sty," I grind out as I stride out the door. "Yes, Dad," he calls, laughing as I close it behind me. Fallen Ch. 24 On my way back to my suite I meet Chancey. "Is everything alright, My Lord?" "Alright?" "You look... upset, My Lord." "Upset? No... no, I'm fine. Can you bring breakfast to my room? None of us ate much dinner last night." "No. I noticed," he says with a concerned frown. "Is... everyone okay?" "We're fine thank you. Could you just bring breakfast?" "What about Alex and Sam?" "Alex and Sam?" "You asked for them to be prepared for ten o'clock and it's ten past." "Hel. I had forgotten. How long have they been transfusing?" "Almost half an hour." "Damn. Alright, bring breakfast in an hour. If anyone comes looking for me tell them I'll be back as soon as I can." "Yes, My Lord." I watch as he disappears and wonder again how I had not noticed what an essential part of my household he has become. Usually I approach the transfusion suite with some level of anticipation, if not excitement. Today, I am frustrated and can't wait to get it over with. I open the door and feel guilty as hell. Somehow Sam has manoeuvred the equipment so he could lie on the same bed as Alex and he is holding him gently in his arms, stroking his back. Alex is curled into his brother's side and he looks small and vulnerable. There is something about the scene that makes me think that maybe Bridge is right. Hel... who am I kidding? Bridge is always right when it comes to things like this. He is the most perceptive and empathetic person I have ever met. Both of them look up at me when I enter and there is a flash of fear in Alex's eyes. I smile gently at him and move to the bed with carefully non threatening moves. Still, he shrinks into Sam's arms and closes his eyes. "What's the matter?" "He's afraid, that's all. He's just... afraid." "Are you afraid, Sam?" He meets my eyes levelly. "No," he says and I believe him. I kneel at the side of the bed and stroke Sam's face, running the backs of my fingers over his cheek, making him shiver. I bend slowly forward and kiss him gently on the lips. He raises his arms and hugs me close, slipping his tongue between my teeth. He is a tease, this one. Smiling, I lift my head and meet Alex's eyes. He still looks frightened but there is something else there, an ember that I know can be kindled to a flame. I take Alex's hand and kiss the palm. He shivers and draws back slightly. I trace a pattern with my finger which starts to draw him in and the frown disappears from his face to be replaced by a more open puzzlement. I move my finger in larger and larger circles until they are brushing his wrist and he blurs, his eyes glazing over. Sam is watching and when he sees his brother sway he tries to sit up but I gently push him back. I put Alex's hand palm down on Sam's stomach and place mine over it. With my direction he moves in slow circles making Sam sigh and relax. Bending over Sam I lift Alex's face. He has been staring at his hand and the taut body under it. As he looks up I lean in and kiss him. He sighs and melts against me. This time I concentrate not on relaxing him but exciting him. When I feel his breathing speed up I break the kiss and guide his face down to his brother's. Sam is surprised but he goes along with it eagerly enough. There is something strangely exciting about watching the two brothers kiss. After a hesitant start, when they begin to realise there is nothing and no one who is going to come between them, they relax and their kiss becomes deeper and more passionate. Sam's hands wander over Alex's body causing him to murmur and moan. The sound inflames Sam who pulls him closer in to his body, which writhes beneath him. It's about time I joined in. They are beautiful, especially together. Alex trembles but doesn't pull away as I run my hand over his back and buttocks. He moans deeply when I massage his entrance and when I push my finger past his resisting muscles he whimpers and jerks against Sam. When I leak venom into him he relaxes and moans again and I slide in further. Sam is hardly aware of what is happening to his brother because my other hand is stroking his balls sending little pulses of excitement into him. They are both rising together. Alex certainly isn't frightened anymore. In fact, of the two, he is the one with less inhibition in their love making. He is both more vocal and bolder in his actions. After sliding in and out of Alex for a while I give him enough juice to momentarily stun him. Sam is startled when he collapses across him, but I distract him. Together we roll Alex onto his back, although Sam is hazy about what is actually happening. Alex is shaking, struggling back to awareness and I guide Sam down to kiss him while I thrust my hand between his legs and continue what I had started but with more force. Alex moans and writhes as I push into him harder and harder. Excited by his brother's reactions Sam is easy to manoeuvre as I position him between Alex's legs. Kneeling behind him I raise Sam's body, bending it back to lean against me as I place his hands on Alex's hips. I guide him to stroke and massage his brother's body as I kiss his shoulder and neck. I take his fingers and help them to tease Alex into a state of wild excitement which excites Sam too. Leaving Sam to continue his exploration of his brother's body I wrap my arms around his sweating body, massaging his belly and licking the salt off his shoulder. He moans and lets his head fall back against me. "Take him, Sam." I whisper in his ear and he doesn't need any encouragement from me to comply. Alex arches his back and cries out as Sam enters him. His hands claw at Sam's sides before they fall to the bed when he loses the focus to continue. As Sam slowly pumps in and out of Alex I massage his own entrance more roughly than I had with Alex and when I enter him he moans and increases his pace. Alex is writhing, turning his head from side to side, his eyes half open and his lips parted. He has lost the strength to do anything other than to ride with it. I pump Sam as he thrusts into his brother with more and more force and when I feel the heat rise in his body I brush aside his sweaty hair and sink my teeth into his neck. The addition of my venom to his blood sends him spinning and he jerks back against me as his body pumps into Alex and his blood pumps into me. I drink deeply as Sam slowly comes down. When I withdraw from Sam he shivers and moans and turns his head to look at me with heavy but shocked eyes. I smile at him and he gives me a shaky smile back. "Saaaamm." Alex's moan tears his attention away from me. Alex is still writhing, aching with frustration as his brother rapidly shrinks inside him. Withdrawing , Sam bends forward and kisses him. Getting off the bed I knees besides Alex's head and direct Sam to slide down and go to work on his throbbing cock. Alex jumps and moans his hands balling and releasing at his sides. I lift one of his hands and press the wrist against my lips flicking it with the tip of my tongue making him throw back his head and whimper. It's about then that I notice the tears which are running down his face. Dropping his hand I wipe tears and hair off his face, stroking his cheek with my thumb and murmuring comfort to him. Sam is oblivious and continues his assault on his genitals while Alex moans and shakes and writhes, weeping silently, his teeth gritted and his eyes squeezed shut. I wonder what could be wrong. Is he not liking it; not wanting it? No, that isn't it; that really isn't it. I bend forward and whisper into his ear. "It's alright Alex, it's alright; I'm here now. No one is going to hurt you. Don't you like it when Sam loves you?" "Yes; oh god yes." "Why are you sad, Alex?" "Nooooo." "Ssh. There is nothing to fear here. What's wrong? What are you afraid of?" "I'm afraid." He opens his eyes and they meet mine as he continues to gasp and writhe under Sam's lips and hands. "What are you afraid of?" He tries to turn his head away but I trap him and relax him with a brush of my thumb over his throat. His eyes roll and he moans a long low moan shuddering. "What are you afraid of Alex?" I repeat. "They... said... said... said; they...they would... would take... him... him away and... and... and... alone." His words are cut off by a deep moan as Sam does something that makes him twitch. "No one is going to separate you here. You are going to be together forever. I promise. You and Sam will be together no matter what." "I..." "Trust me." I whisper. "Do you trust me?" "Yes," he gasps, "yes, yes, yes..." I feel the heat rising and he screams as I sink my teeth into his neck just in time to feel his release. I don't take too much from him; just enough. He has been through so much, I can taste it. Slowly I retract my teeth to find him sobbing. Gently I take him into my arms and rock him. Sam has slid between him and the wall and has his arms around him, stroking whatever part of him his hands find. I can see in his eyes this is not the first time this has happened and it is not good when it does. Carefully disentangling myself from Alex, I ease him back onto the bed while relaxing him enough for him to let me do it. He sighs deeply and gives a little hiccupping sob. Kneeling again at his head I stroke his hair while Sam anxiously strokes the rest of him, whispering to him, soothing him, begging him. "Please Alex; please tell me what's wrong. What can I do? Please tell me what I can do." I hush Sam and bend close so Alex, speaking softly, hypnotising him with my voice and my venom. "What happened?" "The hospital," he whispers. "They took me to the hospital and they said I was sick... in my head." I look up at Sam who winces. "About six months ago something happened. I don't know what it was but... my parents said Alex had some kind of breakdown. I could never work out how or why. How could I not have known? Why didn't I see it coming? Why wouldn't they let me go to the hospital to see him? He was there for about three days and when he came back he was... different. They said he had a mental illness but they were never really clear what it was. They took him for checkups every month." Sam face takes on a strange expression. "It was after one of the hospital appointments we ran away. He begged me to go, to run... anywhere. He said he couldn't go on; that if we didn't leave he was going to... going to kill himself. I was scared. I believed them, my parents, and really thought he was ill; but he was so..." Sam shakes his head. "I didn't know if I was doing the right thing but for a while he was happy, so relieved and happy and he didn't seem to be ill at all." I nod and turn back to Alex, who seems to be dozing. "Alex, what did they do to you at the hospital?" He frowns and shakes his head slightly."No," he whispers. "No you don't remember or no you can't tell me?" "I can't... tell you." "Why not?" He shivers and licks his lips as if it's hard to speak. "I'm not allowed." "You're not allowed to talk about what happened to you?" He shakes his head. "Who told you? Who said you're not allowed?" "Them... the doctors; my parents; everyone." "Why did they tell you that?" "Sam." Sam looks up at me his eyes wide. "They don't want Sam to know?" I ask, surprised. "No. Sam's the good one." Now Sam's expression is horrified. "What do you mean?" he asks and Alex starts as if he had forgotten Sam is here. I shake my head at him, to silence him, and relax Alex again. "So, they told you Sam is the good one and you shouldn't tell him what was happening to you." "Yes." "If Sam is the good one does that make you the bad one?" "Yes." "Do you know why you are the bad one?" "I made him gay." "You did what?" Sam explodes. He can't help it but it isn't doing any good because every time he hears his voice Alex gets frightened and closes down again. "Sam," I say softly. "You have to be quiet. When Alex hears your voice it scares him. You want to know what happened don't you? It's hurt him Sam. It's hurt him deeply and if we don't get to the heart of it maybe he will never recover." "And if we do get to the heart of it?" Sam whispers. "Will he be alright then?" "I don't know. How can I be honest with you and tell you it is going to be alright when I don't know what 'it' is?" He nods. "Fair enough." "Alex... you were told by your parents and the doctors at the hospital that you were the bad one for turning Sam gay and you mustn't tell him what was happening to you because he was good and he would be upset if you did. Is that right?" "Yes." "And the things they did to you... at the hospital, they were trying to stop you being gay?" "Yes." Sam looks as if he is about to be sick but he remains silent and I smile encouragingly at him; acknowledging how difficult it is for him to do. "What did they do to you, Alex?" "They hurt me." "How did they hurt you?" "I don't know." "I don't understand. Why don't you know what they did to you that hurt?" Alex licks his lips and his eyes grow dark. "I... the first time, I don't... I don't know what happened. I was at home and I didn't... it didn't feel... right. And then people came. It was... it was like a dream. Everything was... wrong." He looks puzzled, his brow furrowed but he isn't distressed at the moment so I press on. "What did they do? The people who came?" "They asked me questions." "What about?" "I don't know." Alex sighs and turns his head away but I turn it gently back again. "Did it still feel like a dream?" "Yes." "So, they asked you question and then what did they do?" "They put me in a car and drove me away." "To the hospital?" "Yes." I raise my eyes and Sam stares at me. He knows the real meat of what happened to his brother is about to come out. "What happened to you there, Alex?" "They asked me more questions but when I answered them they got cross and shouted at me but I didn't know what they wanted me to say. I was scared. Then they took me to a room and locked me in. I was so, so scared." Tears are forcing themselves out of his eyes and he blinks them away. "I thought I'd never see Sam again," he whispers hoarsely. "Why did you think that?" "Because they told me. They told me if I didn't stop being gay I'd never see him again, but I didn't know how to stop." The tears are flowing more freely now so I relax him again and he sighs, closing his eyes. His voice, when he speaks is distant and dreamy but I seem to have turned a key because the words come faster now, without any need of prompting from me. "Then the men came and took me to another room. I didn't want to go but they were – big and they hurt me. I was scared. The room was... I was so scared... I didn't know what they were going to do to me. I tried to fight them but they were too strong and they held me down while the other stuck needles in my arms and everything just... went away. "I don't know what happened next, not really. It was... was like a nightmare. I know they asked me questions and they told me things, I remember voices but I don't know what they said or what I said. And I know they hurt me; they hurt me a lot, but I don't know how." He sighs. "It was a dream... just like a dream." "Did they do that to you often; when you were at the hospital the first time?" "I don't know. I never woke up from the dream; not until just before they let me go." "What changed? Why did they let you go?" Alex sighs again, deeply. He looks as if he is on the point of falling asleep. "I don't know," he whispers. "Did you feel any different when you came out? Any different about Sam?" He shakes his head slightly. "Only scared." "And they took you back. They took you back to the hospital, every month. Did they do those things to you again? Did they hurt you again?" "Yes, every time; and in between my parents gave me medicine that made me feel weird, like the dream. They told me they were going to separate us; that they'd take me back to the hospital and wouldn't let me out again. They said I'd never see Sam again. They said if they ever saw me touching Sam they'd make the doctors hurt me even more and go on hurting me forever." Sam growls and the look on his face frankly scares me. I shake my head at him forcefully. "It's alright, Alex. You're safe here. You're safe now. No one is going to hurt you or separate you. No one is going to take Sam away from you. Do you understand that?" "I'm scared." "Alex, I know you're scared but you have no need to be. It's going to be alright now. Sam is with you now. You're here and you're safe and you are going to be together forever." "Promise?" "I promise. No one is ever going to separate you again – ever." "I feel... I feel like the dream's come back." He sounds frightened and I continue stroking his hair which I had stopped because I was just so shocked at his story. "No Alex, this is a different kind of dream. This time it's not a nightmare. No one is going to hurt you and you know that when you wake up Sam will be right here with you." "Sam's here?" "Yes, Sam's here. Sam's always been here, right at your side and he's going to stay here." Alex forces his eyes open and the look in them when he sees Sam is beautiful. "Sam's here," he whispers as if that makes everything okay; for him I suppose it does. Then he sighs and slips away. I continue to stroke his hair and look into his beautiful, sleeping face, feeling slightly nauseous and listening to Sam weep. No wonder I hate humans. Not even the Council would inflict such needless cruelty on innocents. "I'm going to kill them," Sam grinds out and I look up to see him wiping the tears from a face that makes me feel proud and scared at the same time. "I'm going to track them down and fucking rip their hearts out, starting with my parents. I knew it; I should have known it. I knew there was something wrong about the whole thing. I knew they were drugging him and I thought it was because he needed it, because he was ill. I trusted them... fucking bastards; I am going to fucking kill them." His voice rises and he is practically spitting it out through gritted teeth. Alex reacts to his extreme emotion and stirs, moaning in his sleep. "That is not going to help Alex," I say calmly. "None of this is helping Alex." "It would help me." "No. Trust me Sam, it wouldn't. What would help you is helping your brother get well and strong again." "How can he get over that? How could anyone?" "With a love like yours behind him he could do anything." "I don't know how." "Just be with him, Sam. Make love to him every day, but gently, knowing it's hard for him and makes him scared. It will take time but, step by step, he will get over it. If it gets too hard I will help you." "Do you think it'll work; that he'll get well again?" "We'll make it works Sam. I promise." "They hurt him." Sam whispers, crumbling. "I never knew. He never told me. If I had known they were hurting him..." "What would you have done?" "I could have taken him away sooner." "And you would probably both be dead now. If you hadn't been where you were, when you were I wouldn't have found you." "I..." "Don't blame yourself, Sam; don't even think of blaming yourself. None of this was your fault. You didn't know what was happening. You trusted your parents and that was a totally reasonable thing to do. Who would ever have thought that someone you love and trust would do something so cruel to someone they should have loved? You can't blame yourself." "But I do." He's weeping again, half collapsed over his brother, holding on to him as if he's in danger of disappearing. "I knew there was something wrong, I knew it. I tried to get him to tell me. I kept on and on at him but it just made him close up even more. There has never been a time when we haven't told each other everything. I was angry with him. I..." Fallen Ch. 24 "Sam nothing is going to be achieved by raking over the past, looking for every detail that is going to make you feel guilty. The past is past and believe me, if I look into my past I will find plenty to feel guilty about. Draw a line and move on. Alright, so you weren't there for your brother when they were pulling him apart... be there for him one hundred percent when he's putting himself together again. "We're all here for you, both of you. You saw how he and Bridge were together last night." I have to stop because the mention of Bridge's name turns my stomach, making me choke on my words. Sam sees it. "I'm sorry, Sam," I say, unable to stay any longer. "I need to go. Don't feel that I'm abandoning you but..." "Bridge?" I nod and get to my feet. "Sam... Alex is going to be alright. Both of you are going to be alright. I think you underestimate your brother. He has been through a terrible experience but look how strong he is. He's not as strong as he might be, as he is going to be but he is so much stronger than he could have been. They didn't break him; they didn't change him; they didn't make him stop loving you. Even in the middle of all that, everything they were doing to him he still knew being with you was the most important thing." "Yes... I suppose..." I lean down and kiss him. "I'll get Chancey to come and sort you out straight away. Take Alex back to your room and talk to him. Let him tell you what he wants to tell you at his own pace. Reassure him and make sure you tell him a hundred times a day that you are not going to leave him and that he's safe and you are going to stay with him. Damage like that doesn't get undone overnight but if you keep on being open and gentle and let him get over it in his own way and own time then I promise you he will be okay." "Thank you. Is... Is Bridge...?" "I'll come and talk to you later, both of you; to see how you're doing." "Alright. Thank you. I'll take care of Alex." "I know you will." Fallen Ch. 25 It's almost eleven o'clock. Where has the day gone? I can't put it off any more. I have to go to Bridge now. I realise with some surprise that I am scared; my stomach is full of ash. I don't hear any laughter today, when I enter my apartment, although there are voices coming from the bathroom. When I open the door I am surprised to find all three of them in the tub. Little curls of steam are rising from the surface of the water. "Luma." The light that comes into Bridge's eyes when he sees me makes me feel guilty. How could I have wasted a single moment? Discarding my clothes I slide into the hot water and Bridge puts his arms around me, resting his head on my chest. "Where have you been?" He raises his head and added quickly. "Not that I'm being jealous of your time but..." I smile and stroke his cheek. "I was with Alex and Sam." He frowns. "I'm telling you Luma; there's something wrong with Alex, he..." "I know, Bridge. That's why I have been so long. He's been hurt, very badly hurt and we've been starting to find out just how badly. But don't worry because he is going to be alright now. Between us we are going to make him well and strong again." Bridge stares into my eyes for a moment then turns his head to the side down casting his eyes. I capture his face and draw it back. "Bridge, I..." He jerks his head away from me. "Don't, Luma." "Bridge..." "Make love to me, Luma. Make love to me one last time." "Bridge it isn't going to be..." "Just in case it is: please." "You need to preserve your strength, Bridge. I can make this treatment the very last one. By tomorrow..." "Tomorrow might not come. I want now. I want you. Please." I can't move. I hadn't expected this. I can't do this. He looks more fragile than ever. His eyes are sunken and shadowed, but so beautiful they break my heart. Even in the dim light they glow brilliant green. I don't know what would have happened if Star had not stepped up behind him and put his arms around him. He leans over Bridge's shoulder and kisses it. Leaning close he whispers something in his ear and it makes him smile. Letting his head fall back Bridge relaxes and sinks into his arms allowing him to draw him backwards until he is floating. He just floats, his hair fanning out around him in the water, with his eyes closed. Sacha half walks and half swims to Bridge's side and slides his hands under his buttocks raising him so that his stomach is clear of the water and he can lower his head and lick the moisture out of his belly button. Bridge giggles but the sound is cut off when, with his arms supporting his shoulders and keeping his head clear of the water, Star kisses him deeply. Completely relaxed, Bridge's body floats gently. His eyes are closed and his breathing deep and easy. Although he responds to Star's kiss and Sacha's touch he does so lazily, almost dreamily. Both Star and Sacha are looking at me and their eyes hold a clear message. 'You owe it to him. If we can, so can you.' They're right. I can. Slowly ploughing through the water I part Bridge's legs and rest my hands on his hips. I feel his soft moan reverberate through his body. He is completely relaxed, his head back, on Star's shoulder. He trusts us completely; is completely open to us, all of us. If we let go he will sink and possibly drown, but the thought would never enter his head that we might do it. I myself am drowning; drowning in the beauty laid out before me; a beauty that has nothing to do with outward appearance; and in sorrow and dread that, like a moth in a candle flame it is likely to be brief. I am no fool and I neither do I hide in false hopes and euphemisms. I know how likely it is that today, when I try to heal Bridge, I will kill him. I know it; he knows it; they all know it. But there is no question of not trying, because then, what is now a probability would become a certainty and I can live with trying and failing but not with simply watching and waiting. I find my fingers are stroking in circles over his hip bones and he is squirming slightly, arching his back to press against my hands. I smile and lay them flat on his stomach. The temptation to release energy into him is strong but I hold it in with iron reserve. If I allow the slightest drop of venom into his body now it would live up to its name when I try to heal him. I feel helpless for the first time in such a long time. Some things about having no heart, I don't miss. I want to enter him but I know full well that, with my emotions in such turmoil, even if I was able to raise and maintain an erection I would not be able to stop fluids entering his body. Whilst it would not usually be an issue, this time the slightest thing could push him over the edge and I am not about to risk that merely to satisfy my own desire. And desire him I do. Over and above everything, I desire him with a flame that burns me. I am becoming a sentimental fool. Fool to wonder whether, in my tumultuous emotion, I could raise an erection. I am giving myself too much credit. Simply looking at him and smelling him is making me hard and I am a creature of impulse and sensuality. Nevertheless I also have some control and the second part of my musings still holds true. It would be far too dangerous to give in to my carnal urges at this point. Instead, I begin to massage him, feeling him rise under my hands and hearing the soft moans that emanate from lips that are now free of Star's because he no longer has the focus to sustain the kiss. He is lost in a world of pleasure that is as close to the surface in him as it is in me. He loses himself so easily in sensation of all kinds and it makes me smile to think of the many ways it manifests. He can become so absorbed in a moment that he makes it last an hour or sweep away hours with one sweet smile. He can make you hard with one look and satisfy you with the briefest touch. He can be a tempter, a satisfier and a simple child all in the same moment. His is a force of nature, truly a creature of fey but so... so... delicate, so fragile... like a rose. Slowly I ease him into a state of arousal and gently tease him, making sure he remains as calm and relaxed as possible without using any of my venom to achieve it. I don't need to. He passes easily into a state of ecstasy simply from the touch of my hand; the caress of Sacha's lips and fingers, which I can feel roving beneath the surface; Star's breath on his cheek, and the gentle stimulation of the water all around him. He is spread out, his arms floating outwards from his sides and his hair like pondweed; tendrils radiating out from his head which Star has now moved from his shoulder to rest entirely in the water, supported by his hands under his shoulders. Star stands slightly to one side and is bending forwards to kiss his lips, cheeks, and eyelids with soft feathery kisses. He is completely relaxed; completely content, completely at peace; so why am I not? Toying with him, I lean forward and join Sacha in kissing his belly. He shudders but doesn't make a sound; he rarely does. I run my hands over his body from chest to hip and feel it tremble under my fingers. I can't do this anymore. One way or another this pressure has to end. Standing up I give Star a very direct look and he knows exactly what I mean, what I want. I take Bridge into my mouth and work hard to bring him close, very close then I stand and Star raises Bridge so that he stands too. He opens his eyes to look at me, half dazed and half puzzled. Before he has time to think too much I put my arms around him and draw his head down onto my shoulder. I feel Sacha and Star under the water but I don't care what they are doing I am too focussed on what I am doing. I am as gentle as I can possibly be and when Bridge gasps and convulses in my arms I resist the temptation to allow his orgasm to flow into my mouth, instead I remain completely controlled taking only what I absolutely need to draw out the cancer and ease in my healing. He is so weak and I am making him weaker. His head is growing very heavy on my shoulder. I would have gone further, I had intended to. I had intended to finish it, to keep going until the sickness was gone from him but before I get near that point I feel the uncontrollable trembling of his body and sense the rhythm of his heart change, falter. I have to stop and I have to stop now or there will be no hope. But if I do stop now there is no hope anyway because I know his body won't stand another treatment. But it will give us another day, another day to find answers, another day to enjoy him. I raise my head, unconscious of the blood that stains the water pink. I draw away the long wet hair and look down into his face. I am surprised that his eyes are open. He smiles at me, a brief sweet smile. "Thank you," he whispers. "Bridge..." His eyes flicker and reflexively I pull him closer. I realise he is totally limp. He has no strength at all. He is not bearing his own weight and what is not being supported by me is dangling limply from my embrace. "Bridge..." "Luma; please." In a daze I pull my eyes away from Bridge and stare at Star. I realise he is pulling at my arm. "Stop. For God's sake, stop. Can't you see? You're going to kill him." Yes I can see. What is he saying? Of course I can see it; but what does he expect me to do. I turn back to Bridge but his eyes are closed. "Bridge... Bridge..." Sacha and Star are calling him but I know he can't hear them and he couldn't respond even if he did. If we're lucky, we'll have a day of watching him sleep. I don't even notice there are tears in my eyes until Sacha raises a shaking hand and touches me. "Luma," he whispers as if he's afraid to speak and to hear. "Is he...?" I stare at him for a long moment; completely numb. "Luma what...?" I turn my head to look at Star and then back to Bridge who looks so peacefully and gently asleep. I have my arm around his shoulders. His head is tilted, resting on my upper arm, his hair floating round behind him in the water and the rest of him, completely lifeless, is dangling from my arm. His lips are parted and his eyes are closed. Even to me he looks dead but I can feel the flutter of his heart; the struggling lurch as it sluggishly pumps the blood around his body. "Luma, please..." They are both really frightened. They think I've killed him. "He's completely exhausted. There is no strength left." "Oh thank God. Thank God. He's so still I thought he was dead." Sacha is weeping tears of relief but Star is silent; he knows better. "Perhaps you had better get him out of the bath, Luma, he's cold." Not from the water, I think, but nod at Star. There is no weight to him at all as I carry him from the pool. He is like smoke; his bones as light as a bird. Sacha spreads a huge fluffy towel on the bed and I lay Bridge on it, rubbing his limbs vigorously, trying to warm him, but it was always a futile occupation. Making sure he is completely dry I lift him again while Sacha strips back the covers and then I tuck them around him, making him comfortable on the pillows; not that he would have known if I had laid him on smashed glass. I stand, looking down at him with Sacha on one side and Star on the other, doing the same. It is Star who voices the unspeakable. "He's dying isn't he?" I can't bring myself to speak and so I simply nod. "I knew this would happen," Star says quietly, "we all did but..." "Why did you have to do it? Why couldn't you have let him be, just for one more day? I look at Sacha. I'm not angry with him because I know he is not angry with me. There is no accusation in his voice, only pain. "He didn't have another day, Sacha." "I... How long?" he whispers. "Hours. His heart is failing. Soon it will stop." "No! We can't just stand here and wait. We can't just watch him die." "Then don't watch." I growl, as I storm from the room. Star catches me in the hall. At the touch of his hand I spin and prepare to verbally rip his head off, but the look in his eyes makes me pause and then fold. I hold him and we weep. "Is there nothing we can do, Luma; nothing at all?" "Nothing. I can't give him the energy he needs to fight. I can't. His body recognises my energy. If I put venom into him it will stimulate the cancer too, and not just that... there are other things... I have been drawing it out, accelerating the degeneration. To reverse that... it would spread out of control and it would kill him as quickly as I try to heal him." "What about someone else's energy? If there was someone else like you-- could they give him energy while you heal him; sustain him while you drain him?" "Yes but..." Hope flies through my mind and for a moment... a moment... But no; Serif's energy would be far too powerful for Bridge. No matter how careful he was he is simply too powerful and any attempt to help would leave Bridge a burned out shell. And as for Taz, not only is he incapable of restraint he has not yet woken to who he is and what he can do. We could trigger it but it isn't like the Change, it takes time. "There is no one." "But there could be." "No Star there is..." Finally, my addled brain catches the tone in his voice and I realise what he is talking about. "No, Star. No, I won't do it." "This is what she meant, Luma; what Astaria meant. I do have to do it straight away. I do have to do it now." "No. I won't let you. I won't take you through the Change just to save Bridge. What if I lose you both?" "What if you don't? What if it saves him?" "Well... it might but... Star, you don't understand. Even if I took you though the Change and you survived you'd be too... It's not an easy thing, to change. Even if you came through you would be weak and ill. It takes time to learn how to use your new skills, to get used to a new body. You couldn't just..." "But it's possible." "It's... possible," I admit, "but you couldn't..." "I have to try." "No Star. I won't do it." "But don't you see that this is what..." "I don't care. I am not going to risk losing you or it would all be for nothing. No, Star, I'm sorry, I can't." I disengage his arms and stride out of the door, out of the house. I turn and he hasn't moved. He is standing in the hall, just inside the door staring at me with a sad expression on his face. "Please Luma." I shake my head, swamped with pain, and turn away. As I do, I see something out of the corner of my eye, a butterfly? A pink butterfly? "No!" "You're making a monumental mistake, Lumin'el." A voice speaks close to my ear, but there is no one there, no one around at all; no one standing in the window. I freeze; my heart breaking. Although I fight a little longer there really isn't any fight left in me and I know he's won. Slowly I turn and walk back. I take Star's face between my hands and stare into his eyes. "You really want to do this?" "Yes, I do." "And you know the risks? You know this could kill you?" He blanches but is resolute. "I know." "Are you really sure? I don't like the fact you have been forced into this." "No one forced me, Luma. Astaria is a clever lady. No one forced me or even suggested it to me but enough has been said about it to make me think deeply about it. I've been thinking about it pretty constantly and when the time came it was there... the idea already planted in my mind." "But you're not prepared, Star." "I'm as prepared as I will ever be." "No, I mean your body, your mind. Do you have any idea how dangerous it is? Star... it hurts." He pales a little but squares his shoulders. "I've made up my mind, Luma. You HAVE to do it: you just have to." "I'll do it. I won't like it. I'll hate it; but I'll do it... IF you swear to me that you have thought about this and that you know what it will mean to you; to your life." "How can I possibly do that? I've no idea what it will mean to my life? I have nothing to compare with; nothing to grasp on to; no yardstick to measure it by. But I do promise I've thought about it; I've thought about it all the time, from the minute it was first raised. Okay, all my thoughts were negative; along the lines of-- there's no way anyone is ever going to make me do that-- but you're not making me do it, quite the reverse and it's for Bridge. I'd do anything for Bridge - for Bridge and for you." "Star, you can't do this for Bridge or for me. It's too big. You can only do this for you." "I am. I am doing it for me. I'm doing it because I can't sit back and let Bridge die; because I won't. I'm doing it because it's the only way to give someone I love very much their life back. I'm doing it because... because I can't not do it; and because I trust you to bring me through it. Please don't stand in my way, Luma; don't stop me." I let my hand rest on the side of his face. I think my heart is about to burst. "Alright, I'll do it. Come." I take his hand and lead him back through the hall Instead of climbing the stairs or diverting to the kitchen or the stable I lead the way to a small door, hidden behind a wall hanging. Fallen Ch. 26 The door opens at a touch of my hand to a panel at its centre, and it slides soundlessly aside, revealing a gaping maw into which steps disappear, leading into darkness. I pull him into a rough embrace and kiss him hard. "Are you sure? Are you really sure?" "No. I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything; but I have to, Luma, I have to." I hold him close, feeling the pounding of his heart. Mine is racing just as fast. I hate this. Well... If I have to do it, I have to do it fast or not at all. Drawing Star across the threshold I pull him into my arms and close the door, engulfing us in darkness. Star clutches at me, scared. "Do you trust me?" I ask softly into his ear. "With my life," he whispers and then cries out as we step off the steps and plummet into darkness. There is a rustle in the air around us as if a flock of birds are flying past and then, a few moments later, we gently touch the ground. Star staggers and I support him until he gets his balance. "Luma... what the...? Why did you do that? How did you do that?" The sound echoes, magnified a hundred times by what is clearly a vast space. "Where are we?" he whispers, scared of the rolling echoes. "Ssh. Don't speak. From now on you must not speak, no matter what happens. Do you understand?" "Yes," he whispers. It is too dark to see him nod. Taking him by the arm I lead him carefully across an echoing stone floor. At first he is hesitant but gets more confident and follows me freely. When I stop he stands quietly. "Wait," I say and move away from him to where I know there is a trap door in the floor of the cave. Opening it I see a small chamber in the rock about a foot square. I carefully lift out the box it contains. My heart is pounding and my hands trembling. At the bottom of the chamber is a hand shaped depression and I lay my hand in it, pressing down with my fingertips. After a few moments I become aware of a soft glow as somewhere behind me something lights up. I pause for a moment, not wanting to see. Finally I rise from my crouch and turn. Star is standing on the edge of a circle of light, about seven feet in diameter. Within the circle, set into the floor, is a five pointed star. Every line is made up of a band about 3 inches wide of glowing red symbols edged with lines of solid gold. It's all that remains of an ancient language; now dusty and dead, but still symbolically potent. The symbols seem to crawl across the floor generating their own light. Beyond the circle there is nothing and the star seems to be suspended in the darkness, glowing. Star turns to me and opens his mouth but I shake my head and he closes it again, nodding. His eyes are enormous, bright splashes of colour against the darkness. "Take off your clothes," I say softly and he complies instantly. While he is stripping I empty the box laying its contents on the floor at the edge of the circle. There is a crystal chalice, four lengths of fine silk rope, a small leather bound book heavy with gilt, and an ornately carved and bejewelled blowing horn. In the very corner of the box, in a pocket made especially to keep it snug and upright, is a small glass phial. The liquid it contains is of no colour and every colour, swirling, iridescent, generating its own light. It is very beautiful and very deadly. Laying aside the book and the horn, and tucking the cords safely into my pocket, I take my knife and draw it quickly across my wrist. I hold my arm over the chalice and watch the blood flow into it until it is half full. Pausing to seal the wound with my healing venom I place the chalice on top of the box, right at the edge of the circle. By now Star is at my shoulder, curious. I make no attempt to hide what I am doing; what's the point? Uncapping the phial I let a few drops fall into the blood. The drops lie for a few moments on top of the liquid and then they sink beneath the surface. Gradually a glow appears at the heart of the blood and it slowly expands and brightens until it is all illuminated, as sparkling and incandescent as the liquid in the phial itself. I leave the chalice on top of the box and quickly shuck out of my clothes. Star is watching me with wide, enchanted eyes, and when I look up into them my heart quakes. Carefully picking up the chalice I lay my hand on his shoulder and gaze deeply into his eyes. "This is the last time you can walk away. Are you sure, Star, are you really sure?" Star doesn't answer; perhaps he is taking me too literally about that. Still staring into my eyes he puts his hands around mine on the chalice and, almost without me realising what he's doing he raises it to his lips. For a moment there is a flash of fear in his eyes but he takes a deep breath, squeezes them closed and tips the chalice so the contents flow into his mouth. Instantly his eyes fly wide and he seems to freeze for a moment, then swallows the liquid in a gulp and gasps. "That..." "Sssh. No speaking, my love." He nods his head, smiling. I stroke his cheek, watching his eyes fill will the sparkling lights. "It's too late now. There is no going back, only going forward. Whatever happens now remember that I love you and I am here with you. Hold on to this." I lean forwards and kiss him. His lips are icy cold but his hand that buries itself in my hair, and the skin under my hands, are warm and soft. "It's time." I break contact with him. He looks confused. Already his mind is sinking under the effects of the drug. He is feeling the separation of body and spirit. When I take his hand he looks down at it with a frown on his face, trying to make sense of something that can no longer make sense to him. "Lie down." Obediently he lies on the floor in the middle of the star and stares up at the darkness overhead. Taking one of the ropes from my pocket I knot it, slip it around his wrist and bind it to an iron hoop sunk into the floor in the middle of one of the arms of the star. Star watches me impassively as I repeat the process with his other wrist and both ankles. He is now securely bound hand and foot and there is no escape... there hasn't been from the moment the poison touched his lips. I kneel between his legs and gaze down at his beautiful face. The somewhat vacant blue eyes gaze back and he smiles dreamily. "Oh Star." I close my eyes and dash away the tears that slide down my cheeks. Part of me wants to take my time, to savour the moments, the last moments with the man I love. This is the last time I will ever touch the Star he is now, the last time I will ever look into his eyes, that last time I will kiss his lips, the last time... Even if he survives the ritual he will come out of it as someone else; someone who is the same but very, very different. But the bigger part of me just wants to get this over with. I want to know one way or another and if the whole purpose of this is to save Bridge then I want the ritual done in time to do that. Running my hands over his stomach I watch the sensations it evokes send him spinning. It doesn't take much in this state to overload his senses. He is hardly 'here' at all; not Star; not the part of him that makes him who he is. Already the poison is breaking down this body, it is disintegrating from the inside and when I release my seed inside him this body will die. It's what happens to the rest of him that makes all the difference. Star moans as I run my hands over his body. Small whimpers bubble from his lips and for a short while he struggles weakly against his bonds. The slightest brush of my fingers over his balls stops the struggling though, it takes away his ability to formulate thought and he stills. For a moment I close my eyes. I don't want to see him sink; I don't want to see that look; that moment when he loses himself; when his light goes out. When I open my eyes it has passed. I can't do this. Biting my lip I somewhat roughly raise his hips and penetrate him. He cries out, his body shuddering and a look of discomfort comes over his face. He tries to pull away but of course he can't. He doesn't know it's me anymore. He doesn't know what's happening, he just knows that it really doesn't feel very good. By now the poison is turning his blood to fire and the pain is increasing rapidly. The moans that are pouring from him are not because of any pleasure he is getting from my fucking... there is no pleasure, there is only pain. Fortunately I completely focussed in the ritual and I have very good control of my body so that I am able to bring myself to climax without any desire and with my mind screaming every step of the way. Star gets more and more agitated through the process and throws his head and body from side to side moaning as if in the grip of a raging fever. I hold back my ejaculation as long as I can because I know what will happen when it comes, but eventually it is just too cruel to prolong his suffering anymore. As soon as I release I withdraw, rising to my feet and for a moment turning away from his screams. I pick up the book and fix my eyes on the page as I begin to speak the words that are written there. As I speak, the symbols on the star begin to glow more brightly and move more swiftly. I try not to look at Star's body as it convulses and strains against the bonds. The flesh on his wrists and ankles beneath the silk rope is torn and bleeding and there is blood trickling from his mouth where he has bitten his tongue. He's completely lost control of his body and I don't even want to think about that. As much as I try to keep my eyes away from Star the rest of my senses are not so easily distracted and, in particular I can hear the thuds, groans and screams. They become inhuman. He is not my Star anymore. He is a creature that is mindless, stinking, dying. He is nothing. And maybe that is the way he will remain. The chanting begins to have an effect on Star. The convulsing ends and he whimpers pathetically, weeping and gasping as his life ebbs. He doesn't know where he is or who he is or even what he is but he knows he is hurting and he knows he is dying. He's afraid now and I want to go to him, I want to sooth him but I can't. If I stop chanting he will be torn apart by the energies I am summoning in the symbols than surround him. Star is begging now. He's not begging me; or anyone in particular. He is just begging the ethers for release. "Please... please... oh no, no noooo... please, please." There are tears pouring down my face but I have to keep my voice level; my mind clear. The energies are whipping around him, licking at his body and if I let them go now... Slowly the spell unfolds and the energies unleashed by it are brought under control. It seems to be taking such a long time. Why is it taking such a long time? It is with enormous relief that I reach the last page but when I reach the end there is real regret because now I have to look at him. I put down the book and pick up the horn. I raise it to my lips but make the mistake of looking at Star and I choke. The strength has drained from him and his body has collapsed and is hardly moving at all, although the tremors and weak attempts at writhing away from the pain are pathetic and heart rending. His eyes are open and look as if he is staring into hell. His mouth is gaping open and little moans slip out with the harsh, panting breaths, which are already getting strained and sound painful. This Star seems like just an empty, swollen, misshapen lump of clay and I can't see anything of the man I love in him now, except for the eyes. He's gone. My Star is gone and I killed him. No. He is not gone and he is not dead, not yet but if I delay any longer he will be gone and it will be my fault. Taking a deep breath I blow the horn. There is no sound, none that can be heard with the ear but it causes reality to ripple. Apart from the strange ripple nothing seems to have happened after the sounding of the horn. I throw it to the ground and the sound seems incredibly loud in the silence. With nothing to do, I so badly want to go to Star and take him in my arms. He is weeping uncontrollably, snot and tears flowing down his face and into his hair, choking him so that every other sob is a wet cough. "Hold on Star. Please hold on. It won't be much longer. It will be over soon I promise. I'm here. Never forget that. You're not alone; I'm here." The sound of slow clapping startles me and my eyes snap up as a figure appears, stepping out of the darkness on the other side of the circle. Dressed all in black with curly black hair falling to below his shoulders he is a striking figure, even without the two jet black wings that spread gracefully from his shoulders, arching over his head. "Please Azra'el, don't waste time with your usual crap. You're better than me; stronger, faster, wiser; more beautiful, stylish and powerful. I am a mere insignificant worm about to be crushed under the sole of your foot and I am completely unworthy of your attention. There, I've said it for you; now please just get on with it." Azra'el grins at me. "My, my... I never thought I would ever hear those words coming from your mouth. You were never one for facing the truth." He steps across the circle and crouches next to Star, brushing the sodden hair out of his face, and strokes his heaving chest. "You get so involved with your children, Luma, which is probably why you have so few and why they find it so easy to turn against you. Will this one stab you in the back? Or will he run from you and take your heart with him? "He is very pretty. VERY pretty. In fact I think he is the most beautiful human I have ever seen." He caresses Star's face gently as Star forces his eyes open to stare dully at him. "Are you frightened pretty one? Do you feel death's hand around your heart? Do you despair? Is the pain excruciating?" He is smiling, his lips curving over his sharp teeth and I see the fear he is provoking in my lover. "Leave him alone Azra'el. Just do your job and get out of here." "What 'job' is that, Lumin'el?" He sneers, still stroking Star's chest, holding his eyes in an unbreakable gaze. "You know what is expected of you, Azra'el; just do it and leave." "But what if I don't choose to do it? What if I decide to let this pretty little thing fall back onto the wheel and leave you alone again to eke out your pathetic existence; separated from the Source; unable to go to your home; parted from your family and friends? You have such little left don't you, in that sparkling little bottle. Enough for... one... two? And if they don't work out that's it, the end, all hope of finding a lifetime companion gone. Poor Lumin'el... all alone... for eternity." "Don't push me, Azra'el." There is nothing I want more at this point than to leap into the circle and crush his head under my foot, but I can't. Star's soul lies in his hands; his future existence continues or ends at his whim. He can't refuse; it's in the contract; he simply can't refuse. Azra'el laughs his light musical laugh. "Or what Lumin'el? What will you do if I don't ascend him? What will you do if I just walk away? What can you do, imprisoned here in this cesspit?" "You can't refuse... The Council..." "HA! Since when do you hide behind The Council? Since when did The Council ever wish to shield you?" "The Contract..." Azra'el draws his eyes away from Star and gives me a piercing stare, still cupping Star's face in his hand. I am painfully aware of how still he has gone, his body trembling and his chest rising and falling erratically in time with his horrible, rasping, gurgling breaths. "The Contract? The Contract is broken, Luma... The Contract is in shreds along with The Council who made it. Do you really have no idea of what's going on in Eden?" "I..." "There has been a civil war. It was brief, bloody and effective. The Council is gone; they fell early on and its members are dead, imprisoned or in hiding. Their status has been stripped; their power withdrawn and all of their contracts and decrees dissolved. There is nothing to bind me, Luma; nothing to force me into ascending your pet. "If I remember there was a time before when you tried to force me into this. When I refused you went ahead and did it yourself." He laughs again. "Look how that ended." "I would do it again," I hiss in a low, dangerous whisper. "And if I have to now, I will." "The first time you caused a war: your whole unit was destroyed; banished, and their human playthings and spawn sent back to the wheel. Would you really risk all that again for... this?" He jerks Star's chin up and he struggles weakly, choking, unable to catch his breath. He is dying, now; right now. "Azra'el, please. I don't care about The Council; I don't care about Eden; I don't care about anything. Please don't let Star die." "Star?" He turns to peer at the dying boy and his lips curve to a cruel smile. "You really are pathetic Lumin'el." Letting go of Star he stands. "Sorry, but I don't think your little pet is going to make it." "No! No Azra'el. You can't do it! You can't..." He turns to me and his eyes are completely black. "Don't you ever dare presume to tell me what I can and can't do." I can't remember ever having been so frightened. I can't take my eyes off Star. It is abundantly clear that he is losing his fight for life and that he is taking his last breaths even as we stand here and bicker. I can't believe even now that Azra'el would walk away and let him die. I don't care about The Council, about any war, anything but Star. "Azra'el... please..." It is not beneath me to beg, not for Star. I become aware of a strange fluttering sound that seems to be coming from above and a cool breeze fans my naked back. I hear Azra'el's hiss and look up to find him staring over my shoulder with wide eyes. Before I can turn two figures appear at my shoulders. I am as shocked as he is. "Do your duty, Azra'el, or face my wrath." Azra'el laughs again but it is uncertain now. "You have no authority over me, Seraph." "I have authority over whomever I please, Ophanim. Don't make the mistake of thinking because I look human I have become human. Don't make me unfold the rest of my wings." Azra'el blanches but juts his chin. "You wouldn't. If you did you would turn your friends to ash too." "Fool! I lose patience with you. I warn you, Azra'el, whether I unleash my fire on you or not I have authority here and if you don't obey it I will have your head." "But why? Why are you standing behind this pathetic...?" "I would be careful how you speak to my friends, Azra'el. And I would be careful not to leave it too late to ascend the boy. Do not make the mistake of thinking that this is going to be easy for you. Do your job and live... perhaps. Fail to do it and die... for sure." "You don't have the power to destroy me." "Are you sure of that, Azra'el? Are you sure enough to bet your life on it?" For a moment Azra'el glares at him and then he spins. Closing his eyes he holds his hands out, palm down, over Star. Star's back arches and he gives a single, gurgling, heart breaking cry as his body collapses inwards and a sparkling golden mist rises out of his mouth. I don't watch to see what happens to his soul; I should but I can't help it. I know this is not the end for Star but it is still almost unbearably hard to see his lifeless body lying ; cast onto the floor like a broken doll made of misshapen clay. The shell I see is empty now, dead and cooling as I watch. When I hear another cry I raise my eyes in time to see Azra'el stumble backwards, the glittering mist spilling from his fingers. "No." I cry out taking a step forwards, but two iron hands grip my arms, one on the right and one on the left. Azra'el spins. "You," he cries raising a shaking hand to point at me. "You..." The mist is spreading out over the floor and rises around the edge of the circle, a golden curtain spangled with diamond dust; shutting us off from the dead body of my lover and the black figure of my tormentor. Fallen Ch. 27 Serif and Taz let go of my arms and I throw myself forward but I bounce back from what seems like a solid wall in front of me. I hammer on it and scream his name. "Star... Star... Nooo..." Someone puts their arm around me and draws me back as a horrendous scream splits the silence and reverberates around the cavern. A single shaft of black light shoots upwards from within the circle and vanishes into the darkness above and then there is silence. "What's happening?" "I don't know." I am too numb to ask questions. My heart is pounding and there is only one thing I care about, that I can focus on. "Star..." "Hold on Lumin'el. It's not over yet." We all take a half step backwards when something shoots past us in front of our eyes within the golden mist. It is gone before we have a chance to see what it was. But even as we begin to wonder it flashes past again. It soon becomes clear that there is something inside the circle, flying round and round near the perimeter, concealed in the mist. It seems to me as if it is some kind of bird and it is golden too, like the sparkling dust in the mist; in fact it seems to be gathering the dust to it as the shape becomes clearer and the mist more dense but less sparkly with every revolution. At last there comes a time when there is no sparkle left in the mist at all and it is just a thick, grey cloud through which the creature, whatever it is, is still flying round and round. Suddenly it flies closer to the edge and we all gasp simultaneously. It isn't a bird; it's a dragon, a small golden dragon it's long, sinuous body undulating as wings of iridescent red and gold beat lazily. It turns its head and two eyes of startling blue pierce my heart. And then it is gone. We wait to see it come past again but it doesn't. It is gone. "What is it?" "I don't know. It looks like some kind of dragon." "It's Star." "Star? How...?" "I know him. I know his eyes. It's Star." I say firmly with absolute conviction, however, although I am certain that it is Star, I don't know what it means. Shaking myself free of the others I walk slowly to the edge of the circle and raise my hand to lay it against the invisible wall. It isn't there. Shocked, I immediately step across the line and hurry through the billowing, but now clearing smoke to where Star still lies motionless, bound on the floor. Throwing myself to my knees I reach out to him. I can barely see him through the smoke. I can't tell if he is alive or dead, the same or changed. "Star." I whisper, the pain in my voice dripping onto his still body. The drifting mist is making it impossible to see anything more than his outline. All my trembling hands are telling me is that he is cold, so very cold. "Star please..." my voice breaks and I feel the tears drip off my chin. Crawling on my hands and knees I fumble for the cords and release his hands and feet then I lift him and carry him out of the circle. He is a dead weight in my arms. As soon as we cross the barrier there is a tremendous noise behind me, like a gunshot and I spin to see the star crack right across the middle and begin to crumble, falling into a chasm beneath. I stare for a moment, until the light goes out and we are left in darkness. "Luma... we need to get out of here," Serif whispers as more cracking sounds come out of the darkness from somewhere nearby. "What's happening?" "I don't know and I don't want to stay here to find out. Let's just get out of here and worry about what happened later. There are some things we really, really need to talk about." Realising that he is right and that we might actually be in danger, I hug Star closer to my body and manifest my wings, flapping them gently so we rise slowly towards the door. Below us there are flashes in the darkness but I can't think about that. Serif precedes me and opens the door. As soon as my foot hits the step I push past him and run across the floor to the nearest door. It happens to be the transfusion suite but I don't care. All I want is a bed to lay Star on. He is just so damn cold and so damn still. When I lay him down I kneel at his side, rubbing his hand, trying to get him to warm up but he is so cold. "Luma... let me." I look up at Serif and shake my head. There is no way I am going to let him anywhere near Star. "Luma... listen to me. He's not ascended; not yet. Azra'el didn't do his job. You have to let me..." "No... I can do it." I am determined not to allow Serif to unleash his unimaginable power on my lover. "You can't, Luma. You're too involved." "I did it before," I say stubbornly. "I know you did but that was different." "How was it different? I loved Astaria too. I loved her and I ascended her and I can do the same this time. I can do it for Star." "Luma... Star is not Astaria. Star is very, very different to Astaria. He's not like anything you have experienced before. You can't do this, Luma, you will kill him and there is a good chance that he might kill you." "I don't... What do you mean kill me?" "Can we talk about this later? Taz, get him out of here before it's too late." "No..." Gently but irresistibly Serif tears my hand away from Star. "No, don't... you can't... don't make me leave him. Serif please..." As Taz draws me backwards towards the door I stare in abject horror as Serif bends over the lifeless form of my lover and unfurls his wings... all six of them. The last thing I see before the door slams before us is a light so bright it burns itself into my eyes and he is only warming up. "Star...Star..."I scream, trying to tear myself out of Taz's grip but it is impossible. I can hear voices from a long way off. It doesn't occur to me that they are the rest of my household gathering at the terrible sounds of my anguish. Later, I am told that everyone except Bridge and Sacha gathered here in dread fear to witness my madness. I have no idea how long I fight him. He must be exhausted by the end but his grip never weakens and I never have a chance of breaking free. Eventually, I start to feel exhausted and the strength goes out of me. I sink to my knees and bow my head. I'm sure he's dead. No one and nothing can withstand the light of a Seraph, it burns even their own kind, and Serif is the best of the best. It occurs to me, and not for the first time, to wonder what the hell someone like him has been doing with someone like me for the last three hundred years. No wonder he always sounded mocking when he called me 'My Lord." Eventually the door opens and I am too afraid to look up. He is dead. I know he's dead, I just know it. I don't want to see the expression on Serif's face. I only hope that he has left me a body to mourn. Right now I don't have the strength to... Serif kneels at my side and puts his arms around me, drawing me close. "It's alright, Luma, I'm alright. It's over now." I jump as if I have been shot and turn my head sharply. "Star?" He smiles at me, his blue eyes as bright as ever. I am truly and totally stunned. "But..." "Don't ask me what happened," he says firmly, "because I don't know. I don't remember anything after I lay down on that star thingie." He pauses. "Well, I do remember some things but they weren't very nice so I don't want to remember them. I certainly don't remember what went on in that room but it doesn't matter because I'm here now. I'm fine. I feel strong and well and... great." "But..." I look up at Serif who is standing in the door watching us with the strangest expression on his face. "Does it matter how or why, Luma?" I shake my head feeling numb and let Star help me to my feet. I turn to Serif. "Why?" "And which 'why' are we dealing with here?" "Why have you been hiding here all this time? Why have you never told me? Why have you let me dominate you, called me 'My Lord'? Why...?" "Hold on. There are a whole lot of 'why's there. The answer is the same though." He shrugs with exaggerated ennui. "Because it suited me." "But..." "This is for a different time, Luma. There are things we need to talk about, but not now. Now, I think you have other business to take care of." "I don't..." "Luma, what you don't have is time. Have you forgotten so easily?" For a moment I am confused and then it hits me, almost knocking me off my feet. How could I have forgotten, even for a minute? "Bridge." "We'll talk tomorrow, Luma. Take care of your family now. Tomorrow is a new day for all of us." What the hell does that mean? Ah well, time enough later to find out. Now I have other things on my mind. Star looks strong and confident as he strides beside me. He is more than that. He owns the space around him. He exudes a sense of purpose, of... completeness. I can't help but steal glances at him. He is so different and yet so much the same. When we reach my apartment he stops and turns to face me. For the first time we are alone, for the first time I look into his eyes and see the extent of the change. The red flame is hotter than ever and it is there permanently now. "Thank you, Luma." "I... It was. I'm sorry Star. I should never have agreed to that. The ritual has never turned out well for me but that has always been afterwards. I was sure it would be different with you." "And it was... it will be." He smiles a slow, sexy smile. "I love you Luma, and now I'm like you; we are equals and will love as equals. It's exciting isn't it?" His eyes are sparkling with excitement and passion. The numbness is leaving me and I begin to see the possibilities. This time started differently and I am sure it is going to work out differently too. This is the start of a lifetime together and every moment will be a moment to cherish. "I love you, Star." The instant our lips meet I feel the difference. He runs his tongue over my teeth and suddenly I am swept with feelings that make me shake. It's like I have had liquid gold poured down my throat and it burns as it spreads through my body; but in a good way... such a good way. I can't believe his strength as he holds me hard against him and floods me with wave after wave of that amazing golden energy. I have never experienced anything like it before. Finally he lifts his head and smiles at me, lit up. "Now I can give you a taste of your own medicine." "Trust me," I say breathless, "my medicine never tasted like that." He smiles his sweet smile but then I have to shake myself and break away from him. He is putting a spell on me. I can't stand it. If he carries on I am going to cum without him laying a finger on me below the waist. I find myself panting. "Bridge." I gasp and the teasing expression immediately drops away leaving him looking contrite. "I'm sorry, Luma. I'm just... full." "Be careful, Star. You're energy is very strong and you haven't learned to temper it. You swept me away but Bridge can't take that kind of power. You have to..." "Luma; I know what to do." "What? How...?" "Serif showed me." "Serif told you?" To say I am surprised is a huge understatement. "No, he showed me. Come on let's..." "Star, I don't..." He turns and smiles at me. "Neither do I but we can talk it through later. Right now there is something we really, really need to do." "What are we going to do?" I have to admit that the words came out more sarcastically than I had intended them to. Star looks at me, not with annoyance as he would have been perfectly entitled to do, but with a strange thoughtfulness. "I don't know," he says thoughtfully. "Maybe we can just make it up as we go along." Smiling an incredibly sweet smile he takes my hand and leads me through the door. For some reason it feels so good to follow for once. Sacha is curled up on the bed, his back against the headboard, his knees drawn up. His face is streaked with tears and he is rocking as he strokes Bridge's hair. For a moment my heart stops and I am terrified that we are already too late. "Where were you?" Sacha sobs. "I've been so scared. You just ran out. What have you been doing? Why did you leave me here for so long? I thought... I thought he was going to... Why did you leave me?" There is such anguish in his voice I have no idea what to say to him. I was so focussed on myself and on Star I didn't spare a thought for him. Damn, at the end I didn't even have a thought spare for Bridge. All the time we have been performing the great drama he has been sitting here, not knowing what is going on; why we have left him; why we have left Bridge to die. He truly believed that he would be left to witness Bridge's last moments alone and I have never seen anyone more afraid, more distressed; not even when I had orchestrated it. Even while I am thinking this Star is climbing onto the bed taking Sacha gently into his arms. Sacha clings to him and sobs inconsolably. "He's dying, Star. He's dying and I can't do anything; I can't help him, I can't stop it, I can't... I can't stand it. Star he... he's just... He was... he was c...crying. He... he knows. He doesn't... doesn't want to die but... but he can't... hold on. He couldn't... hold on and I tried... I tried to help him, to hold on... on to him and... and I... he just... he just faded and..." "It's alright, Sacha. It's going to be alright now. We're going to save him. He's going to be alright." "No." Sacha looks up at Star, his eyes wide and scared. "He's not going to be alright, he's going to die. He is almost dead. His... I've watched him and he's just... he's just fading away. His breathing is getting softer and softer and I can't hear his heart beating anymore." Star takes Sacha's hands in his own and stares into his eyes. "Trust me, Sacha. It's going to be alright." Sacha gasps. "What happened? What's happened to you Star?" "I've 'become' Sacha." "Become what?" As they speak I sit on the bed, on the other side of Bridge and lay my hand over his heart. It is still beating but barely. Sacha is right; his breathing is so shallow it is barely sustaining him. "Star," I say quietly. "This discussion is for another time. He is almost gone. His life is being measured in minutes." Star's head snaps round and his eyes meet mine. "Can you heal him? Can you heal him completely, right now?" His question and the forcefulness of the way in which he asks it shocks me. "I..." "Can you do it, Luma? Can you heal him?" "I could but... Star it would kill him. Even if you could give him enough energy to sustain him you couldn't give him enough to see him through that." Star gently leads Sacha to a chair on the other side of the room and walks towards me. I stand up and he takes me into his arms. "Do you trust me, Luma?" "Trust you? Of course I trust you but your abilities are too new; too raw. You can't..." "You're right. I don't know what I can do and I don't know how I can do it, but I know that I can. I really do Luma. Somehow... somehow I know I can do it. I am a... a..." He lowers his eyes, struggling with something and I know what it is. Suddenly something clicks into place and I understand. "You can do it, Star. I know you can do it. Listen to me... I didn't realise it, not until right now. You are part dragon, Star, you know that don't you? You know it now." His eyes snap back up to mine. "It's true? It's really true? I thought... I mean I thought that it... but it seemed so..." "Trust it Star; trust your inner knowledge. You are what you think you are. I've seen it, Star, I saw the dragon and I've seen the golden energy in you. Dragon energy is healing. There hasn't been a true dragon in centuries; millennia and there are few alive today who knows what it means to be one: fewer still who remember. I didn't remember, not until just now. You can do it, Star. No one else can, but you can." "I know." He looks scared to death but he is resolute nevertheless. "Do you know how?" He shakes his head and I nod mine. Suddenly filled with a new sense of purpose I strip the covers off Bridge and slide my arm under his shoulders. I suppress a shudder at how cold he is. "Put your hands on his belly, both of them: concentrate on directing the energy down into the base of his spine and through the rest of his body. Once you've tapped in to his energy tree you will feel it; where it needs to go." "Energy tree?" "There's a network of energy lines, like veins, that branch through the body. It radiates out from the base of the spine which is the trunk of the tree. The top half of the body holds the branches and the bottom the roots. You need to establish the roots first and then build the branches. Once you see the network you'll see where the channels are blocked and broken. "Don't let too much energy flow out of you too quickly or you'll overwhelm him and he'll die. It will feel at first that you are not achieving anything; that the energy is going into him too slowly and there will be a huge temptation to push it in, to make it flow faster and harder, but you must resist that temptation, you must. Let him draw the energy rather than force it on him. Once you make the connection his body will draw what he needs. "This is your skill, Star. This is what you do; what all dragons do. We have strength and control, you have wisdom and healing. Use your skill well." Star stares at me, his eyes wide. Carefully he gets up onto the bed and positions himself between Bridge's knees. I see him shiver at how lifeless the limbs are as he moves them. Bridge is a broken doll. Star closes his eyes and centers himself. Slowly, his face intent and a study of concentration, he bends forwards and lays his hands palm down on Bridge's abdomen. I am about to bend my own head when I catch a spark of gold and I turn to see a golden glow emanate from below Star's hands and spread over Bridge's stomach. Bridge moans and squirms weakly. Mentally shaking myself, I lower my head. When I enter him he gives a little cry and his body tenses, his back arching. I can hear someone speaking gently close by. "Hush darling. It's alright. It's going to be alright. We're here now. We're all here now and we're going to make you well again. You're going to be alright Bridge. I'm here. We're all here." Surprised I look up into Sacha's eyes. He is holding Bridge's hand, close to his side. I nod once and then close my eyes and sink. This time I don't have to hold back. I don't have to be careful that I don't put him through too much. I can taste the golden energy in his blood and it is intoxicating even to me. I drink deeply, deeply, saturating him with healing, drawing out the sickness. I feel his body strain, his breathing quicken, his heart pound. I feel him shaking. I feel him jerking. I feel him gasping for breath. I hear him cry out, whimper, pant. I feel him struggle weakly. I feel him hover on the edge. I feel him fall and then I feel him soar. When his blood tastes clean I lift my head and lick my lips. Sacha's eyes are wide and scared. I can see that Bridge is holding on so hard his fingers have turned white. Star still has his eyes closed, concentrating and the golden glow seems to have spread. As I watch the light starts to fade, the edges first with the area around his hands still bright. It is as if he is sucking the light back into his hands... and then it is gone. With a deep sigh Star sits up and opens his eyes, blinking. He looks tired; exhausted. For a moment out eyes meet and he grins at me. I smile back, my heart expanding. "Bridge... Bridge don't..." Sacha's soft voice breaks the spell for both of us and we look down. Bridge is still gripping Sacha's hand and it looks painful. Sacha has borne it as long as he could but there are tears slipping down his face now and blood on his lips where he has bitten them. I am going to have to remind myself not to underestimate Sacha. Fallen Ch. 27 Bridge and Star are so obviously 'special'; out of the ordinary, extraordinary, remarkable, superhuman even. Sacha isn't... but he is. Sacha is human. He is gentle and loving and loyal and he is the one who is going to keep our feet on the ground. I smile at him but it is Star who reacts. Reaching out he places his hand over Bridge and Sacha's and for a moment that bright light flares again. Almost instantly Bridge's hand relaxes releasing Sacha's. He pulls it back with a cry. His hand is twisted and misshapen, a very strange colour. Star reaches out and takes the hand in his. The same soft glow appears and strengthens to a bright light between their palms. Sacha gasps and his hand twitches. When Star drops it, it is perfect. While Sacha examines his healed hand I turn my whole attention to Bridge. He still looks the same; fragile and ill, black smudges around his eyes. His lips are parted and his breath hissing and shallow. "Bridge," I say softly, stroking his hair. He moans and turns his head to the side, towards my voice. "Bridge, it's time to wake up now. Wake up Bridge." Bridge shudders deeply and groans; a pathetic, helpless sound that tugs at my heart. "Bridge," Star calls gently taking his hand and lifting it to hold it in both of his and raised it to his lips. Bridge doesn't acknowledge the gesture at all. I exchange a glance with Star; we are both frowning. "Bridge sweetheart, you need to wake up now. We have to know that what we did worked. We have to know that you're alright now. I know it's hard, little one but please try... try hard. You need to come back to us now. It's over, honey. It's all over and you're better now, please come back. Sacha lies down and cuddles into his side and I do the same. Together we stroke his body and try to massage warmth into his cold, lifeless limbs. Star just kneels, still between his knees staring down at him helplessly. He looks exhausted. "Bridge. Come on Bridge. It can't have been for nothing. All this just can't have been for nothing." It is almost five minutes before Bridge stirs; apart from a few deep shivers and the occasional pathetic whimper or moan. It is the longest five minutes I have ever lived through. Finally Bridge gives a huge shuddering sigh and coughs and then moans and tries to turn towards me. Of course he can't because of Star and he makes a strange little puzzled sound, his face settling into a frown. He smacks his lips a few times then yawns. I allow tentative tendrils of relief to creep through me and smile, thinking how cute he looks. Stretching he blinks his eyes open and his frown deepens when he sees Star. Still frowning in confusion he turns his head first towards Sacha and then towards me. "What's going on?" He asked sleepily and then gets even more confused when we all throw ourselves at him, hugging him and speaking at the same time. He fends us off as best he can and eventually we back off and leave him, breathless but giggling. "How do you feel, Bridge?" I ask finally, injecting a note of seriousness into the situation again. He frowns and then his eyes widen. "I feel different," he says carefully. "I feel..." He sighs and relaxes, closing his eyes. "I still feel tired." "But apart from tired how do you feel?" He lies quietly for a while, his eyes closed and then a smile twitches the corners of his mouth and spreads rapidly. He opens his eyes and grins at me. "I'm not going to die am I?" "Well... eventually, I suppose..." He slaps me. "You know what I mean. Now." "No, you're not going to die now; not for a long time." "It's gone isn't it?" I nod and smile. "It's gone, Bridge; it's all gone. You're well now. You're going to get stronger every day, not weaker. You're going to be alright." "I feel it. I feel... clean." His eyes show it; they show that he is well now; they show a new life; a new passion. I can't help myself. There is only one thing I could possibly do, I bend forward and kiss him. He responds eagerly, lifting himself off the bed to cling to me. A grinning Star moves so that Bridge can throw himself fully into my arms hooking a leg over my hip. Sacha moves in behind Bridge, pressing his body against him making him sigh. "Are you still tired?" "Mmm." He murmurs which, as he is holding me in a vice with his leg, pulling in my hips so he can grind himself against me, I take it as a 'no'. I relax as the last of the fear and tension leaves me and I let my hands rove over his body, feeling it shiver and tremble under me. I close my eyes and lose myself in the sweetness of Bridge. After a few minutes his body jerks and I assume that Sacha is getting in on the game. Then I hear Sacha yelp and figure Star's not being left out either. At some point Bridge pushes me over onto my back and his lips leave mine, travelling down over my chin and throat. I moan softly and tip my head further back to allow him better access. There is a moment of disorientation when he writhes over me and it feels as if he is sliding down but staying in the same place at the same time. When I feel his sharp little teeth nipping the skin on my belly, moving lower I work out that someone has taken his place. Before he takes me into his mouth I hear Bridge whimper and moan and figure that he is not being left unattended while he pleasures me. I smile to myself, my body sliding into the familiar pleasure, totally relaxed, totally at peace. But then... suddenly, shockingly, unexpectedly I am catapulted into a cataclysm of sensation that takes me completely by surprise and literally steals my breath. I can't describe it. I can't explain what's happening to me. I can't understand it. I can't... I can't. "Aaaggghhhh." I am incoherent. I try to cry out. I try to struggle, to find a foothold, some common ground, something I can cling to, but I am totally lost. I am beginning to get scared. What's happening to me? I struggle harder. I can feel Bridge's mouth around me, someone's hands on me, something... someone... Wave after wave of sensation wash over me, each one taking my breath so my heaving chest is forced to take a gasp between. My head is expanding, my mind a whirlpool of colour, experiences and precious little thought. Something is happening to my body, it feels as if the insides are liquidising and the shell is not big enough to hold it all. I am really afraid now and I try my hardest to fight it, but I can't. "Ssssh." A voice whispers next to my ear. "Relax, Luma; it's alright. It's only me. Trust me." And then it all starts again. But this time it's alright, because I know. Star's venom is nothing like mine, his hands on my body are sparking and his teeth in my throat are sending me catapulting out of my body. I swim in an ocean of sensation, drifting past stars, colliding with planets. And the pulsing gold sun gets hotter and hotter, faster and faster... and then the whole thing explodes with fizzing fireworks, flashes of colour, sparks of gold, red and green, and when I become aware of my body it is to a racing heart, gasping breath and trembling limbs. I lie still, hearing moans and whimpers around me and then Bridge cries out, Sacha yells and they all collapse pretty much on top of me. Winded, I lie still as Bridge squirms and starts to giggle. I open my eyes and turn my head to look at Star. He is grinning at me, his face smeared with my blood. He looks demonic, beautiful. My loins tingle but it's not comfortable. I realise that I am aching, really tooth-achingly aching in significant areas. What the hell did he do to me? Bridge giggles again... what did they do to me? I narrow my eyes and turn my head the other way. Both Bridge and Sacha are looking at me. They are bathed with sweat and panting. The looks on their faces are nothing less than feral. I grin at them and motion with my eyes. They both nod and, as I turn towards Star, they pounce. Star gasps as they force him backwards and then struggles half heartedly, giggling. Sacha lies half across him biting his chest and nipples and Bridge is burrowing between his legs and I don't really want to think about what, exactly he is doing to him. I stroke his hair and smile down into the amazingly blue eyes and watch them widen and glaze over as he gasps and tenses. He stares at me in shock. I don't know what the other two are doing to him but I know very well what I am doing to him. I lean forward and lick his ear. "Payback's a bitch," I whisper, as his head slams back, his back arches and he howls. Fallen Ch. 28 It is the middle of the night and I am disoriented. We are all tangled in each other as we'd fallen at the end of our lovemaking. With a few pauses to eat we had pretty much been making love all afternoon and evening. It was dark before we finally fell into an exhausted slumber. And now I'm awake. There is someone there; in the darkness. I can see well in very little light but there is something I am not seeing now. "Who's there?" Star hisses next to me and I am surprised to see that he is kneeling on the bed in a defensive position. Bridge and Sacha are stirring sluggishly but, as I look, Bridge's eyes suddenly snap open and he sits up. "What's happening? Who's here?" What the hell is going on? Since when were Star and Bridge so alert and aware? Duh... since today of course. Shadows are moving, flowing together into a vaguely human figure as someone steps forward. "Shit, Serif, you scared the hell out of us." Serif smiles, but it isn't a particularly nice smile. "How much do you want to break free of the hub?" "What?" I can't comprehend the question. "You heard what I said. How badly do you want to get back your position; get freedom to walk the spokes of the wheel again?" "Is that possible?" My heart is beating frantically against my chest. There is something in his face that brings, at the same time, wild hope and searing dread. "Oh it's possible, it's more than possible. Do you have any idea how much power you now hold Lumin'el?" As he speaks he moves slowly forward until he is close enough to touch. Something brushes my arm and I turn to see Sacha sitting up, awake now, his face pale with wide eyed terror. He slips his arm through mine and presses himself against me. "Don't trust him, Luma," Bridge says softly, "something's not right." "On the contrary, little fairy, for the first time in thousands of years everything is perfectly right. Right here; right now; in this room, everything is right. You know that don't you Lumin'el?" His eyes seem to be expanding; swallowing the room; the people, everything except my reflection in his enormous pupils and the image of the wheel spinning in my head. "Yes." "What does he mean?" Star asks defensively. "He means you Star; you and me and Bridge and Sacha. Vampire; Dragon; Fey and Human: the four races together. It has been millennia since that last happened; before the war, way before the war." "What war?" "Just a war." "Just a war? Really Lumin'el," he says patronisingly, "you have sorely neglected the education of your playthings. It was 'just a war' in the same way as you are 'just a vampire'." "It was a long time ago. I made bad choices and I've been punished. It's all in the past." Serif laughs. "Oh Lumin'el, you do disappoint me. Haven't you taught your little creatures about the war? Have you not told them your sad, sad story; how for love you took on the might of the Council of Angels and started the greatest war that was ever fought? It was a war that tore apart Earth and the Heavens. It almost led to the destruction of an entire civilisation. It was a cataclysm that impacted on every civilisation that has existed ever since. The War in Heaven was not 'a war' it was The War. Blood rained from a sky where the sun was blotted out by the bodies of angels; twisted in battle; fighting for their lives and for the lives of those they loved. One third of the entire population; from the lowest to the highest, either destroyed or banished from the wheel forever." The smile disappears from his face. "Haven't you shown them the paintings... there are plenty out there after all? Haven't you taught them Enochian and read to them the many works that have been written over the years? Haven't you introduced them to the main protagonists? Haven't you talked about Rapha'el, Micha'el, Gabri'el, Uri'el, Azaz'el, Sari'el? What? None of them? Not even Semyaza? You really should have mentioned that one. Tut tut. Have you not even explained your connection with Lucifer, the Morning Star? He will be so disappointed in you. "I am disappointed in you," he snarls. "I had thought you would have retained some of your pride; that you would at least have still owned your identity as a great leader and not turned into this... worm who grovels in the dust, sating his lust with pretty humans. You are not who you were Lumin'el and it was not 'just a war'." "Not then," I say tightly; my mind whirling with the images invoked by his words, "but now it's forgotten; gone; over; no longer important... just a war." "For you maybe but there are some who have been fighting the same war, for all these years." "That's not true, Serif and you know it. War against the Council was never what we wanted. We weren't fighting to bring them down; we were fighting for acceptance. That's all we wanted; to be accepted; to be left alone, just to be." "Well, you failed in that didn't you?" "Yes, Serif; we did... and so did you." Serif chuckles and moves closer, his baby blue eyes are as wide and innocent as ever but with something in their depths that I don't recognise and I don't like. He is staring past my shoulder and I feel Sacha shiver. I turn and his eyes are wide and empty. "Sacha?" Serif holds out his hand and Sacha rises gracefully to stand in front of him. "Sacha, don't trust him. Come back." I put out a hand to stop Star launching himself at them. Both he and Bridge are now crouched; one on either side, like flanking panthers ready to spring. I am surprised at the energy that is radiating from Bridge and it's hard to remember him being so weak and frail, and to understand how I could have missed the flavour of it. Serif reaches out his hand and tucks Sacha's hair behind his ear, then caresses his cheek with the backs of his fingers. Sacha shivers but doesn't move. Serif has eyes only for him now and my mind is screaming... 'wrong, wrong.' Slowly Serif runs his hands over Sacha's shoulders and down his arms, then takes his hands and places them on his own chest. "Can you feel my heart little one? Can you feel it beating?" "Yes," Sacha whispers; his eyes locked with the apparently teenaged angel. Gently Serif strokes Sacha's arms and then his chest and stomach while we are all frozen in some spell that stops us making a move. Finally Serif looks up to meet and hold my eyes. "How badly do you want to break free of the hub Lumin'el? What are you prepared to do to walk the spokes again? Are you prepared to trust me?" He turns Sacha so that Sacha's back is against his front. He tilts Sacha's head back to rest on his shoulder. Sacha's eyes are wide and staring up at the ceiling. He looks ecstatic and gasps with pleasure when Serif runs his hands over his body. I can see the evidence of his pleasure hardening between his legs. "No; I don't trust you. If you had asked me yesterday I would probably have said yes but today... I don't know what game you are trying to play, but I don't like it." "I'm not playing a game, Lumin'el; I'm making you an offer. I can free you from the hub, if you are prepared to pay the price." While he speaks he kisses Sacha who moans; his eyes rolling. As I narrow my eyes at him, an uneasy suspicion squirming in my stomach he reaches around and massages Sacha's groin either side of his now fully erect phallus. "It depends on the price, Serif." Serif smiles at me in a feral way and starts to stroke Sacha's erection with dextrous fingers. Sacha gives a long drawn out moan and tenses, his back arching. "You know the price, Lumin'el," he purrs speeding up. My heart is beating painfully and I feel Bridge and Star moving closer to my sides. "Don't trust him Luma," Star whispers. "There's something wrong. We should stop this." "I don't know if we can." "But, Sacha..." "Can you go to him, Bridge? Can you get off the bed and touch either of them?" For a moment Bridge looks confused. He looks over at Sacha and Serif and then back at me. He shakes his head; half confused; half horrified. "No, no I can't. I can't get off the bed." "Neither can I," Star says warily. "Be careful, Luma." "Don't worry; I'm always careful." Serif laughs. "How sweet; you almost sound as if you care, Lumin'el." "I do care and I don't know why or when you stopped." "I didn't." He grins and something inside me screams. "I'm waiting for an answer, Lumin'el. How badly do you want to be free?" He makes Sacha whimper as his body tenses further and the muscles in his thighs start to tremble and twitch. "Not that much." Serif laughs and kisses Sacha's neck at the same time as he runs his thumb over the sensitive head of his penis. Sacha cries out; a cry of pain and pleasure and ejaculates strongly, then goes completely limp. Clearly expecting it Serif lifts the unconscious Sacha in his arms and grins. "Wrong answer." "Fucking hell, Serif, what have you done?" "The same thing I did to the rest of your little playthings. Meet me in the summerhouse in an hour. Choose four and bring them with you. The rest; like Sleeping Beauty will wake with a... well, use your imagination... and it ain't a kiss." "What are you going to do with Sacha?" "Meet me in an hour and you'll find out." With an evil smile Serif steps back and the shadows seem to whisper and flow. Suddenly I am free and I launch myself across the room with Star and Bridge close behind. There is no one there. "Fuck. What was that? Who was that? What happened?" I turn to Star and his questions open a window in my head. Of course. I had been so hung up on trying to figure out why Serif was acting so strangely I had never considered the obvious. "We have to find him." "What about the others? What if he was telling the truth...?" "Of course he was telling the truth." I am already half way across the room. "Shouldn't we get dressed?" "No time." I am shaking inside as I stride through a house that feels... wrong; invaded; defiled. As I move from room to room the feeling of wrongness increases. They are all empty; there is no one here. "Where is everyone?" "I don't know." "The basement," Star says dully. I stop and stare at him. "The basement isn't there anymore." "Yes it is." There is something that is telling me very strongly not to go anywhere near the basement but they are there; I know they are there and their faces swim through my mind... Chancey; Ara; David; Pen; Sam; Alex... beautiful, broken little Alex; Mario and... Taz? Purposeful now I stride across the floor to the door down to the basement. As soon as I open the door a foul stench hits my nose. It's as if the air is stale and hasn't known a stir of breath in centuries; centuries in which the only thing that has crawled across the floor is decay. The steps look strong and whole and; with Bridge sandwiched between Star and I; we descend. As we go lower and lower into the basement we notice a dim light below which grows stronger and stronger as we descend, whilst still remaining dull. Before we reach the bottom I stop; my stomach turning over. They are all here; all of them, laid neatly in a line; naked; unconscious, their arms straight at their sides. They have all been drained, I can smell it, and I can't feed them all. "What the fuck...?" "What has he done to them?" "They're drained. He's fed on them; all of them. They need blood, quickly, and I can't give enough. I can't even revive enough of them to leave four." "I can help." I turn and stare at Star. Could he? "I don't know; but even so... we still can't do them all." "What about me? I'm well now." I turn to Bridge and smile a sad smile. "I'm sorry Bridge; you can't. Think of it like this... our blood is like medicine; yours like opium. You intoxicate us but you would poison them." "Oh." His eyes are huge and bright with tears. "Don't worry; we'll work something out." "Oh... oh..." Bridge cries out almost as if someone has prodded him with a pin. "What's wrong?" "Something... something..." His eyes have taken on a faraway expression as if he's trying to hear something that is very far away. Then his eyes go very wide. "It's alright, Luma," he says simply with a huge smile on his face. "It's alright. Do Taz first... and Alex." He looks down. "I really hate seeing Alex like that. He's too hurt and too sweet. How many can you do?" "Three at a push. I'm not sure about Star as he hasn't done it before." "Three is good. Three is enough. Do what you can..." "Bridge what...?" But it's too late. He pushes past Star and disappears. "Bridge...!" "Are you going to go after him?" "How can I? We have work to do here, and he seemed to know what he was doing." "Serif might be up there." I frown thoughtfully and nod. "Yes... he might." "Aren't you worried about that?" Star asks, frowning for real. "No. I'm not worried about Bridge at all. I think we have enough to worry about here." I head for Alex and raise him in my arms so that his head is draped over my arm. I can tell instantly that not only has he been drained but he has been deeply drugged. He's not been drained as much as I thought; it's whatever drug he's been given that is making him so pale and still. As much as I hate to do it I have to find out what's going on in his blood and there is only one way I can do that. He tastes of smoke and fire. I jerk out my fangs. "Star; don't bite them." "What?" Star dazedly raises his head from Taz; I am grateful to see that there is no blood on his lips. "They're poisoned." His eyes snap down to the limp form in his arms. "Poisoned?" "Not for them Star; for us." "I don't understand." I shake my head "I'm sorry; that didn't make sense. They're drugged with a substance that isn't poisonous to them but is deadly to us." "What? What substance?" "The blood of a demon. They've been bitten and drained; but not dangerously, only in order that enough venom could enter their system to be deadly to us." "But why?" He asks, shocked and scared. "Because whoever did this knew that when we realised they were drugged, and not with anything mundane, we would use the only means we have to work out what is wrong with them. They knew we would bite them." "Oh Gods Luma... you..." "It's alright Star; I recognised it before I let enough in to be harmful to me." "Will they be alright?" "Maybe..." Sensing the hesitancy in my voice Star gives me a piercing stare. "What? What's wrong?" "We can't heal them by biting them. There's only one other way we can introduce healing fluids. We can't risk giving them blood because their saliva would infiltrate the wounds and transfusions would take too long." "We have to fuck them?" Star; beautiful, straightforward, direct Star, is shocked at the thought. He looks down at the unconscious boy in his arms and shivers. "But Luma they're... they're ill and helpless. I don't... I don't know if I can." "It's either that or sit here and watch them die." "I thought you said the venom wasn't poisonous to them." "It's not; but it's affecting them nevertheless. They are so deeply unconscious they're bodies are not working as they should. Their breathing is too shallow to take in enough oxygen; their circulatory systems are too sluggish to move the blood fast enough to use what oxygen there is. Their brains are not being oxygenated; their hearts are slowing; their organs shutting down. If you concentrated you would know that. They've not been poisoned but they are dying: slowly, but undeniably." Star looks shocked. "How long do they have?" "Who knows? They've been drained too... between the two... a few days." "Then why do we have to do this now?" "Because in an hour we have to go to the summerhouse and face the demon who did this. We may not have another chance and; even so we need to have as many as possible awake and well and off our consciences or he will play on them to gain access to our minds; our souls." "I can't believe that Serif would do something like this. He seemed..." "Serif has never been what he seemed Star; never, not for one moment." With a sigh I lay Alex down and stare for a moment into his pretty face. I have never seen him so relaxed; so peaceful. He is, I realise with a small stab of surprise, a true natural beauty; possibly even more so than his brother, but when he is awake, even when he is naturally asleep, there is a sadness about him, a stress that detracts from it. Now; completely open as he is it shines through. I smile and brush the hair from his face. "Wait." "What?" I look up surprised. I had almost forgotten that Star is here. "This feels wrong. Not... not in the way you think. He knew... Serif knew that you wouldn't be taken in by the poison. He knew you would be too careful for that and for sure he knew you would know he hadn't drained them. So, I think he would also know that you would work out how to revive them; and that you would want to do it straight away... so that makes me think that maybe it's what he wants you to do." "But why? Why would he set all this up so that I could undo his work? What's the point?" "To weaken you? To drain you... us?" "Maybe. But if I don't..." "What's that?" Star stares into the ethers; concentrating hard. "What's what?" "Listen." I comply and hear it. It's a hum; just the softest of sounds but once I hear it; it permeates everything. "What is it?" "Bridge," I breathe and as I say it I know it's true." Star doesn't ask any other questions; he knows that as far as there are answers they have already been given and all that is left are questions which neither of us can answer. Without really knowing what we are doing we get to our feet and move together; standing entwined in each other, facing the door. The humming continues and grows steadily stronger, making the air vibrate around us. I realise at some point that it is a sound I am not hearing with my ears. It is a sound I have not heard for a very long time and never thought to hear again. I tighten my hold on Star and he looks at me but doesn't speak. The hum changes as a second voice joins the first. That is more of a shock than hearing the hum in the first place; although I had almost expected it. "Who...?" Star asks. "Sssh, listen. They're calling." "Who are calling?" he says anxiously. "What are they calling?" "Listen." My whole being is straining now; listening for the familiar harmonies; music I have not heard for millennia. And then it begins. Something flows through me; a wave of music so sweet there are tears flowing down my cheeks before I even register what's happening. I close my eyes and I see... I see... "Luma?" Star sounds afraid and I take him in my arms and pull him close. "Sssh it's alright." "What's happening?" I can barely gather enough of my scattered consciousness to be able to speak but I force myself to ground long enough to reassure him. "It's not dangerous, Star. It's not a bad thing. It's going to be alright now. It's all going to be alright now." "But what...?" "It's a choir, Star. I don't know how but they've called up a choir. It's going to be alright now but it's going to be weird; very weird. Hold on tight." And then I let go. My mind spins through a kaleidoscope of colour and flashing lights. My body breaks apart into separate atoms each one vibrating with music that is way too pure for ears to hear. It was music like this that formed the world and music like this which will shake it apart again. The Earth has not heard it's like in over seven thousand years. The last time a choir sang civilisations crumbled; stars fell; the earth changed forever but this time... this time the choir is singing for something else altogether. Gradually I become aware of my body but it is not standing in the basement of my house; it is far too big for that. I am stretched across the heavens; my feet on the spokes of a giant wheel. Enormous wings unfold behind me and stretch for light years on either side. There is something spinning around my head and I look up to see the undulating form of an enormous red/gold dragon flying in circles around and above me. Fallen Ch. 28 Looking down again I see that at each of the seven intersections of the spokes of the wheel a figure is standing looking up. In the centre of the wheel an eighth figure is lying curled into the foetal position and is only barely visible through thick, oily black smoke. A sound to my right causes me to raise my eyes again and I see another form, as large as I but dark where I am light, an angel with ebony fire in its eyes and black wings tipped with red spreading behind him; curving around the wheel to enclose one half of it in his span. Turning my head to the other side I am shocked rigid. On the other side of the wheel, mirroring the dark angel and enfolding the other half of the wheel is a being that is so bright I can barely look at him. As well as the wings that are unfurled; brilliant white tipped with gold; two other sets are enfolded close to his body and I know that if he unfurls even one more set then I would not be able to look at him at all unless I wanted the very atoms of my being to turn to ash in a heat so great that just one glance would annihilate me in an instant. Another sound; a slight change in the harmony of the choir, makes me look down and I see... I see... He is beautiful; more beautiful that anything I have ever seen. He is white and gold and blue and every colour in incandescent splendour while, at the same time, being no colour at all. His face is the same; his emerald eyes, as big as planets; as bright as super novas: and he is smiling. Bridge is holding the wheel in his hand; raised over his head and he is staring upwards with a look of such peace and overwhelming love on his face that it brings tears to my eyes. The tears splash onto the centre of the wheel and, for a moment the shadows disperse, leaving the figure helpless; naked; cold; alone. Slowly the other figures begin to move along the spokes of the wheel towards the centre, but before they can reach the centre the smoke rises again to make an impenetrable barrier. Once again the music changes and I raise my eyes for the last time. Beyond the fiery angels; the dark and the light; are a host of other forms: transparent; indistinct but there; undeniably there. Slowly they begin to move, flowing away from me, their music fading into the distance as they recede... and now there is silence. For a heartbeat everything is poised and still and then I close my eyes as everything rushes towards me and I feel as if I am the centre of a whirlpool and the very fabric of reality funnels into me drawing me downwards until, suddenly, I feel the earth beneath my feet; the wind on my cheeks and I open my eyes. Fallen Ch. 29 We are in the centre of the maze. The summerhouse is before us. There is a clear space, maybe fifty feet wide all the way around and we are spaced out around the circumference. Bridge is to my right, with Mario beyond him and Serif at the quarter position. To my left are Sam, Alex and Taz. Presumably the rest are on the far side of the summerhouse. Everyone looks as dazed as I feel. "Luma?" Star appears round the corner, running and he doesn't stop until he is in my arms. "What happened?" "I'm not sure. I don't think I'm the one to ask." I glance over his shoulder and he follows my eyes. As soon as his settle on Serif he breaks free and launches himself at him. "You bastard! What have you done with Sacha? What did you do to...?" "Star." Bridge's voice is soft but it stops Star in his tracks. "It wasn't him. It wasn't Serif. It was someone who made himself look like him." "You've got to be kidding." "Honestly I'm not. Serif was in the tower room; he was... He wasn't like the rest but he was..." "I was silenced," Serif supplies. Bridge smiles at him and continues. "I heard him, when we in the basement. I heard him calling and I found him. He was... I thought he was dead but he wasn't: obviously he wasn't. There was blood everywhere and he-- whoever that is." He nods towards the summerhouse. "He'd bound him. Not with rope but... well, I don't understand how he'd done it, but he had; and then he'd cut his wrists and left him to bleed to death." I stare at Serif in absolute horror. As powerful as he is, he can die like the rest of us when he's in human form. And if he does... If he dies here... "It's alright, Lumin'el," he says with a smile. "I called and I knew he would answer." "Of course I answered. I was scared when I saw all that blood. I was scared and I thought you were dead but then I realised that if you were dead you wouldn't be able to call me. So I got closer and I could see that you weren't dead. You even managed to open your eyes, but you were too weak to speak. I kind of knew what I was supposed to do but Luma had said that my blood is no good for you." "It isn't," Serif says smiling at Bridge. "Not for them." "Well anyway; it was the only thing I could do. I couldn't just stand there and do nothing and I figured that if you were dying anyway... So I did the only thing I could think of..." "You did exactly the right thing, Bridge." "Well anyway." He turns to me. "When he was feeding from me he started to hum inside my head and I just found myself doing it out loud and the music kind of took me over. It wasn't coming from me it was coming through me." He looks confused. "I thought I was getting dizzy from losing blood but it wasn't that." He thinks deeply for a moment then shakes his head. "As soon as he stopped feeding, Serif started to hum too and then there were others, there were voices all around... no not around... inside and they were singing and... and then..." "Do you have any idea what you did?" Bridge's eyes go wide and he looks scared. "What did I do? Was it the wrong thing? Was it bad?" I stride across the grass and take him into a bear hug. "Wrong? Bad? Bridge you summoned a choir." "A what?" "A choir," Serif says gently, turning Bridge around and smiling into his face. "You are a very special person Bridge; more special than you will ever know. No being other than an angel has ever summoned a choir." "A choir of angels?" "Absolutely." Serif lowers his head and kisses Bridge. Bridge's slender body shudders like a reed in the wind and Serif's arm around his back is the only thing that stops him from falling. When he raises his head Bridge stares up at him; his eyes enormous with wonder. "Is it true? What I saw; is it true?" "What did you see?" "You're an angel. You're really an angel." "Haven't I said as much? Didn't you see it with your own eyes when you held up the wheel?" "Was that real? Did that really happen? I thought it was a hallucination. I didn't think it really happened." "Was there really a wheel?" This time it's Ara who tentatively asks. I notice they have all drawn close and are standing in a half circle around us. "Did we really see those angels?" "Yes, you did." This time they all look at me. "And the dragon?" "That was me," Star volunteers, smiling... and then he laughs aloud. "Fuck... that was me. I was flying. I was actually fucking flying. I was a dragon... I am a dragon." I pull him close and kiss him. "A damn sexy dragon, too." "And you're an angel? I thought you were a vampire." "What do you think vampires are?" I ask him, smiling into the beautiful turquoise eyes. "Well... I kind of figured they were undead monsters." "Not exactly. We're fallen angels... at least the creatures you know of as fallen angels. Your myths about angels are no truer than your myths about vampires... and your myths about dragons are way off." "So, the war... the war that Serif-- the person who was pretending to be Serif-- was talking about." Bridge says carefully, turning in Serif's arms to look at me. "That was the war in heaven; the war when God punished the angels by throwing them into hell." "Not exactly. There was no God, or Hell, or angels really. There was just politics." "Politics?" "I'll tell you about it some time. For now I think we should concentrate on Sacha." "Oh my God, Sacha. I forgot..." Bridge makes to run for the summerhouse but Serif holds him back. "Wait. We have to be careful. He knows. He knows what's happened and he is not going to be happy about it. You saw what he's done. He's set up a barrier around Sacha; so we couldn't reach him from the wheel. The only chance he has is if we can reach him from here. But it's not going to be easy; don't make the mistake of thinking it is." "What should we do?" David asks anxiously. "You should wait here. Luma, Star, Bridge, Taz and I will go in; the rest of you stay here." "But we want to help." "You can help by staying here. We can do this but only if you keep safe. He wants us to be less than focussed on him. He wants us to be scattered, fragmented. He wants us to have other things on our minds... you. That's why he did what he did to you; to us... We need to not have to think about anything else; because this is not a question of whether we get Sacha out of there; it's a question of whether any of us get out of there." "I... Be careful." Serif smiles. "I am always careful, and that's why you are going to stay right here. You are safe here. Don't leave this place. Don't go back to the house." "But what if you don't come back?" "Then it won't matter where you are and we won't care. But for as long as we do care we need to know you are safe here." "Alright," Chancey says bravely, "you go ahead and I'll take care of everyone here. We'll stay here... until you get back," he says firmly. Impulsively I hug him and hold him close for a few moments then let him go and walk towards the summerhouse, without looking back. We pause at the door. "Do you know who it is?" "I have a fair idea." "Abdi'el?" I supply grimly. "Who else?" He chuckles. "Okay... maybe it could be someone else but it has his name written all over it. One of the more powerful beings would have been more direct; the lesser ones more careful. He's the trickster... the total prick." I can't help myself; that makes me smile. "He always was a slimy creep." "Quite a few of them were. They've been low key for a while but with the Council in shreds they're crawling out of the woodwork." "Not my woodwork." He turns and grins at me. "What's so special about your woodwork?" I return his grin. "It's mine." Laughing out loud he reaches out his hand and the door of the summerhouse explodes inwards in a rain of glass shards and toothpicks. I hold Bridge close to me as we enter. I am not easy about him being here, although I know why. Star protects his other side while Serif and Taz precede us. I feel bad about that; especially about Taz being in the frontline, but I have to take care of Bridge. The interior of the Summerhouse has radically changed. The foliage is blackened and burned; the riverbed is dry and the whole building is filled with acrid smoke that burns our eye and makes us cough. As we move further in, the smoke grows thicker and moves in turgid swirls of oily blackness. When we reach the banks of the river we can see movement on the far side but we can't see who or what it is. "I think it's time we get rid of the cover," Serif murmurs almost to himself and raises his arms. "You might want to close your eyes for a moment." Even closed tightly, the light sears my eyes and when it dies they ache and water when I open them. The smoke has gone. When my eyes readjust I can see clearly. There are three of them. They are no longer attempting to conceal their identities. "Hello Abdi'el, I see your lapdogs are still snapping around your heels." "At least I'm keeping better company that you are Rapha'el." "If you really believe that you're more of a fool than I thought you were." "Forget the niceties, Seraph. Don't think I don't know what you are doing here; skulking, licking your wounds like a kicked dog." Serif growls softly but retains his rigid control. "Rapha'el?" Star murmurs softly. "Yes. Sssh." "THE Rapha'el?" "Ssh." I pull him close to underline my request. "You know what I want," Abdi'el hisses. "I do." Serif... Rapha'el, says softly. I'm going to have to get used to using his name again. I laugh internally. Serif? I have been such a fool. "You want freedom-- and this is the last place you are going to find it." "Oh I think you'll find you're wrong." I shiver as his eyes run over us and settle on Bridge who shrinks against my side. "You have great taste in plaything, Lumin'el. Do you realise what you have there?" I put my arm protectively around Bridge. "They are not my 'playthings' Abdi'el; they are my family." Abdi'el snorts. "Family? What do you know about family? You haven't had a family in millennia." "And what happened to the one I did have, Abdi'el? What happened to my wife and son?" I say, my voice deadly cold. "Your whore and her brat got what they deserved... and so did you." If he thought his words were going to hurt me, he was right. If he thought they were going to provoke a reaction he was very wrong; at least the kind of reaction he was soliciting. The images of Astaria, crumpled on the ground, our son dead in her belly, weeping for us, all of us, have long since died, calmed by her words and my own efforts at numbing and thrusting down the feelings. Now, thanks to Abdi'el they are back and I will have my revenge, but I will take my time to extract it "Of course we did, Abdi'el... and pray tell me what you think you deserve? I defied the Council: you overthrew it." "What can I say...? I had the balls to go all the way."Abdiel grins, showing his sharp teeth. "You toad," Taz spits out. "You hid under a rock until the Council fell and then you slithered out to pick over its bones. You don't deserve to be in the same room as Lumin'el." Abdi'el turns his eyes towards Taz and peers at him. "And who is this pup? He has the smell of that slut Tazi'el. If I recall you two had quite a fling at one time didn't you, Rapha'el? And he tossed your woman too didn't he, Lumi'el?" "Tazi'el was a great soldier," Rapha'el grinds out, "and if he was universally loved then it was far more than you ever were." Abdi'el gives him a nasty smile. "Thank you for reminding me of that, Rapha'el. Universally loved? The boy was a whore." "Don't you say that about my father." Taz takes a step forward but Rapha'el stops him. "Father? Oh how delightful. A whore's bastard. What delightful company you keep Rapha'el; how the great have fallen." "Better fallen than pushed, Abdi'el. Now; as delightful as it is to reminisce with you, I have better things to do so if you wouldn't mind getting the hell out of here we'll all go about our business." "I'm more than happy to leave... but if I do I take the human with me." "That would not be a good idea," Rapha'el says quietly and evenly but with a definite edge to his voice. "It seems like an excellent idea to me. You want something; you want it badly and I have the means by which you can obtain in." "There are other humans, Abdi'el." "Not like this one; and you know it." "What does he mean?" Star is looking at me and I shrug, as confused as he is. "He's completely pure." We all turn to Bridge in surprise. He is staring at Abdi'el, his eyes wide and blank as if he is looking at something other than what is there. Abdi'el frowns at him and narrows his eyes but Bridge is oblivious. "Over the years," he continues in a strange; distant voice, human blood had been mixed with that of other races so very few are born pure, untainted, with the blood of the ancients in their veins. Sacha is pure. He is the only one." "The only one? The only one where?" "The only one here. There are others in other places but Sacha is unique. He is the key." "The key to what?" Star's voice is excited as he rounds on Bridge. "Bridge; that's enough," Rapha'el says softly and Bridge blinks at him for a moment frowning, then he gives his bright smile. "I'm sorry; I didn't think. They aren't supposed to know are they?" "No, Bridge; not yet." Bridge smiles and nods, then turns back to Abdi'el and the look on his face almost makes me take a step back. I've never seen Bridge look cold but in this moment his eyes are like chips of green ice and when he speaks his voice sends chills down my spine. "It is time; child of the stars. This earth; this spoke of the wheel is mine. Return to the hub and take the gateway home. You and your kind are no longer welcome here." To say I am shocked would be to say the sun is warm. I've never seen Bridge so... powerful; and the things he is saying... "Foolish child. What makes you think you have the power or the right to order me to leave this place?" "The power and right of birth. This is my world angel; not yours. It always has been. You have polluted the energy of the wheel for too long. Step off or be expelled." "Expelled? You think you have the power to expel me?" "No... but we have." He looks at Rapha'el who nods slightly; then to Taz who does the same. Reaching out he draws me and Star close to him. He doesn't need even to ask us. "Oh very nice; very sweet. Play all you want little one but you won't take a step across that river because you know what I'd do if you did." Abdi'el glances to the side and his cronies drag Sacha from the mist; slung between them, still unconscious. Making a great show of it Abdi'el runs his hands over Sacha's body and raises his head by the hair to kiss him. Sacha doesn't respond to any of it. "Let him go, Abdi'el," Rapha'el says softly. "Let him go and we will let you leave here." "Leave? Why would I want to leave? And as for letting him go... he is not a prisoner. If you want him come, take him. What you do with him afterwards is up to you, but you won't have long to do it." He raises Sacha's head by cupping his hand under his chin. "Even now, my venom courses through his veins; invading every organ, every cell; changing him irreparably. Within the hour he will be consumed. He will be mine, a mindless slave with no conscious thought or desire other than what I put into his head. Such a pretty little plaything. I will have fun with him, I think." "Release him, Abdi'el." Rapha'el commands. "I told you-- he is not a captive and therefore cannot be released. Come take him if you wish. You can watch his life ebb as you celebrate your success." "Bring him to the river and retreat." Rapha'el says softly. "Do you think you can defeat me? Do you really think that in your hands he will live?" There is a slightest note of hesitancy in Abdi'el's tone now and his eyes shift from Rapha'el to Bridge. "This is your last chance. Release Sacha or we will take him." "Take him?" He laughs. "You ragged bunch of nothings take on the might of an Imperial Throne and two Principalities?" "You would dare to ask that? Even knowing who and what we are, you would doubt us?" "What you are is nothing - an exile; a misguided Seraph; the bastard son of a whore; a pretty baby who thinks he's a dragon... and a freak." He spits out the final word and even as Star and I brindle Bridge smiles a dreamy smile and walks forward. I would have held on to him but I couldn't. It was as if he had turned to smoke and slipped through my hands. Slowly, he walks past Taz and Rapha'el, who seem either disinclined or unable to prevent his advance. "Bridge, no." I am powerless to stop him as he walks across the dry river bed and stops directly in front of Abdi'el. He tilts his head to one side and stares him silently in the eye. I'm scared, so scared. He doesn't know what Abdi'el is capable of; I do. At first Abdi'el smirks and stands tall but, as Bridge comes to a halt before him, he takes a half step backwards and his eyes flick to us showing fear for the first time. "What is this?" "This?" Bridge reaches out his hand to touch Abdi'el's cheek. He jerks back but then freezes and Bridge moves close again to caress his face. "This," he says, brushing his lips over Abdi'el's, "is an invitation. The question is... will you take it?" "A...an invitation?" Fallen Ch. 2 It was brightly lit; unpleasantly, with too much fluorescent light. One of the tubes above us was going out; it flickered angrily. Maria drew herself up. “What do you want to talk about?” she asked. She folded her arms against her chest and leaned back against a plastic table. Her expression froze for just a second as the table skittered back an inch or two across the vinyl covered floor. She clutched the knife more tightly against her chest. The handle pressed into her breast; she could barely get her fingers wrapped around it. I leaned my arm against the Coke machine; I was determined not to give up too much. I realized she had on an entirely new outfit; a lightweight, ivory-colored, open collared summer blouse, with a silk or polyester sheen, and a dark, folded skirt with a hemline above the knees, with black stockings and a pair of high-heeled shoes. She also wore new earrings, and a new gold chain around her neck. It was wider and sturdier than the one she’d had before. Not for the first time, I found myself wondering where she’d spent the night. She looked beautiful, as always. “Maria,” I said, “I’m sorry.” Her expression softened, and I hurried on. “I’m sorry for what I said.” She leaned forward slightly, pushing back against the table. “Michael-” she murmured. I looked at the third button of her blouse, the first one she had buttoned. Her chain disappeared there between her breasts. Her hair fell forward, across the bare skin around her neck. She was looking down. “I’m-” She paused and sucked in her breath, pushing out her chest. Her eyes flicked up to mine. “I can’t let you talk to me that way,” she said. “Ok,” I said. “No, I mean,” she said, shaking her head, “I can’t have you thinking of me like that.” She looked up at me, catching my eyes. “It hurts too much.” “All right,” I said. She lowered her hands to her waist. She ran her fingers along the tarnished blade. “Michael,” she said, “I missed you.” “Me too,” I said, “Maria?” “Yes?” I was about to ask her to come home with me. Instead, I found myself asking about the rings. “Oh,” she said. She reached up and grasped her chain and pulled it up. “I’m still wearing them,” she said. She pulled the chain out of her blouse. Her rings dangled at the end. She looked down at her hand. “I’m afraid my fingers are getting fat,” she said. “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get them off again.” She released the chain and smiled sadly. After a moment her smile faded, but she held my eyes. “You won’t call me that again?” I shook my head. After a moment she held out her hand to me and let me draw her in. I could feel her rings between our bodies against her chest. Her hair smelled different than it had before; she’d used a strange shampoo. She pushed me gently back, and looked up at me. Her eyes searched out my face. “Michael,” she asked, in a sad, but fragile voice, “you don’t really think of me like that?” She held still, waiting; waiting for me to say. I inhaled, and leaned back. I closed my eyes. I don’t know why I did it; I guess I wanted to hurt her, just a little, to get back for what I’d felt. I started to compose an answer, but I don’t know what I would have said. Instead I felt an impact, on my cheekbone just below my eye. I realized, while my vision cleared, she’d swung the knife handle, with all her strength, at me, at my face. She still held it in her hand. She was staring up, angrily, breathing through her mouth, her face going red. “Maria!” It was the blonde woman; she was standing at the door. I turned to face her, and watched as she realized what had really happened. “Oh,” she said. She put her hand up to her mouth. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Maria drop the knife. The blonde woman stared. She started to back away from us, but I pushed past her, roughly, at the door. I remembered her name as she flattened herself against the doorway to get out of my way. I didn’t stop until I was alone again, in the hallway around the corner, from where the big room was. Nobody else was there. I steadied myself and reached up and touched my face. There was a little blood there, where the skin had parted, but it was tender and swollen to the touch. My head was throbbing. I heard her call out my name. She rounded the corner, nearly running. “Oh God,” she cried, “Thank God you waited.” She grasped my shirt, holding me. She tried to reach out to touch my face. I brushed her hand away. “Oh Michael,” she said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize what I’d done. I mean,” she swallowed, gasping, “I didn’t know what I was doing.” She paused, looking up. “I’m sorry.” She tried to touch my face again. There was a thin red line against the insides of her fingers. I caught her wrist. “Maria,” I asked, “what happened?” She looked at her hand, perplexed. “I guess I was holding it by the blade,” she said. She looked so puzzled and inept; I couldn’t help but smile a little, despite the pain. She smiled back, uncertainly. “Come on,” I said, “Let’s go.” I started to turn away, pulling at her, but she pulled back. “Where?” she asked, “Are you going to take me home?” I turned and looked at her. “Despite what I did?” she asked. She was looking at my face. “You’ve done much worse than that,” I said. She looked down, at her feet. “But you’re going to anyway?” I nodded, even though she couldn’t see. “Come on,” I said, “let’s go.” This time she came with me. “Besides,” I smiled to myself, “I have to. Your car’s almost out of gas.” She didn’t answer that. I led her past John’s office door, which thankfully was closed. Once we were in the garage standing outside of Maria’s car, she asked me, while I found the key, “You know we have to talk?” I glanced up at her. “I know,” I said, “we will.” What I really meant was: not now. She looked almost as relieved as me. Inside the car, I glanced at myself in the rearview mirror. My cheekbone, below my eye, was red. A small amount of blood had trickled down. I shook my head as she got in. “I can’t believe you don’t know which way to hold a knife,” I said. “Oh my GOD, don’t say that!” She shook her head. “I can’t believe what I might have done.” Her voice trailed off. “I’m so sorry, Michael. I don’t know what came over me.” She tried to reach over, but I brushed her off. “I’ll make it up,” she said. “How much money have you got?” I turned the key, praying the car would start. “Why?” she asked. The car turned over. The gas gauge didn’t budge. “I’m out of cash.” I’d found fifty-six cents in the armrest. I wondered if that’d get us home or not. “Oh, it doesn’t matter, Michael. There’s plenty of money in our account.” I pulled out. There was a Texaco around the block. I shook my head. “We’re overdrawn,” I said. “No,” she said, “The money – the back pay I told you about. It’s already in our account.” I used our debit card at the station, and filled it up. It turned out the money had been transferred electronically. I didn’t ask how much. Fallen Chapter II Part 3 3. When we got home, though, despite what she had said, we didn’t talk – not about it. She washed her hand with disinfectant and used up half a box of band-aids taping up the little cuts on the inside of her fingers. I let her sponge my face. Afterward she made Spanish omelets and fresh-squeezed lemonade and wild rice. I had a glass of wine and half a dozen Motrin. Then she laid me out in bed and held an icepack to my face. I fell asleep with her fingers stroking in my hair. I woke to the ringing of the phone. Maria, in the other room, picked it up, and listened. After a moment, I heard her voice, but I could not make out her words. She came padding down the hallway, and quietly closed the door. My head was throbbing, and I hadn’t brushed my teeth, but I hated the idea of getting up. I sat on the edge of the bed a moment, holding my head in my hands. When I’d walked the few feet from the bedroom to the bathroom, I heard her voice again. She was laughing. “No,” I heard her say, “I told you, he doesn’t know.” I waited. Then: “In the bedroom. He’s asleep.” I felt my heart begin to race. I stood there in the dark. “Don’t worry,” she said, “I told you what he’s like.” She laughed. “Well, not today… but every other time.” Her voice trailed off. “I know,” she said, “It’s true. If I’d known it’d be like this, I’d have done it years ago.” Another pause, while she listened to the phone. “I don’t know,” she said, “Hold on.” I heard her footsteps on the floor, and I leaned my head against the doorframe, sweating. She crossed back to the living room, and then I couldn’t hear her anymore. She was talking but I could not make out her words. I swallowed and raised my head. I guessed she was lying or sitting on the couch. I took a careful step around the doorjamb. The hallway led into the kitchen. She wouldn’t see me if she was in the front part of the house. Her voice was louder now. “Yes,” she laughed, “Yes, I’m wearing them.” On my left was the kitchen table. “Stop it!” she protested. Past it were the sliding doors that looked out into our garden. It was dark outside. “I’m going to hang up!” she threatened, and then she laughed again. The doors reflected the light coming out of our house. I could see her in the reflection. I was wrong about the couch. She was standing by the door. It was standing open, to let the wind come in, and she was looking out. “A halter top,” she said, “and a pair of shorts.” She turned, looking out the back, and for a moment I was sure that she had seen me. I stood absolutely still. Frozen. “I don’t know,” she said. She seemed to be studying her reflection. She paused, considering. “Yes. Alright,” she said. “I’ll do it.” I breathed out. She could not possibly have seen me. She smiled. “Like I said, he’s in the bedroom, fast asleep.” She turned around, facing out into the street. “You have a very dirty mind.” She stood still a moment, put down the phone and then reached down and pulled her shirt off. “Alright,” she breathed, “I did it.” The wind caught her hair, tousling it around her shoulders. She stood there staring out. “No,” she said, quietly, “It’s dark.” There was a longish pause, and then she laughed. “No way, John. There’s no way I’m doing that.” She crossed her arm against her chest. “Alright, I guess.” She turned again, staring, then suddenly walked right past me, our rings bouncing between her breasts, to the sliding doors. She grasped the handle and pulled it open, and then the screen as well. “Alright,” she said. The wind was playing with the lining of her shorts and as well as whipping up her hair. She cradled the phone against her neck “Alright,” she said. She slipped her fingers inside the waistband of her shorts. “Just a little.” I watched as she pulled them down, to just below her hips. “I told you,” she said, “I’m not doing that.” She paused. I could see a pink band of underwear running up from underneath her shorts. “Ok,” she said, “I can see that.” She listened for a moment, and then she bent and slid her shorts all the way down her legs. The underwear she was wearing was barely there. I hadn’t known she owned anything like that. The strap disappeared into the cleft between her legs. “Yes… All right. I told you that I would.” She sighed. She was rubbing herself through the front panel of her panties. “Ok,” she said. “Yes. I know you’re right.” “Oh, God, don’t do that!” “I know I said I would!” She stood there listening. “Yes, John, you know I will.” After a moment, her voice dropped to a lower register. “How deep?” she asked. “How many?” She stepped out, widening the angle between her thighs. “Yes,” she said, “All the way. What else?” “I admitted it,” she said. “Do you want me to?” Her voice was husky: “All right. I love it when you talk to me that way.” She pulled her fingers out and raised them to her face. “I’m sucking them,” she said. She put them in her mouth. “No. I’ve never tasted it before.” She pulled her panties down, bending at the waist. “Yes,” she said, “I’m pretending too… Can I touch myself again?” The wind blew a stack of bills off the counter onto the floor. Her panties fell to her ankles and she stepped out. “Wait,” she said, “I think there’s something in the fridge.” The headlights of a car briefly lit up the room. I backed up, back into the bathroom, breathing hard, and I sat down. My head was throbbing. My cock was hard. My wife was naked in the kitchen. The kitchen tap began to run. I waited, sitting there, until I heard her go back into the living room. “I’m lying on the couch,” she said. Her voice carried clearly, and then I couldn’t hear her anymore. I waited another moment, and then I got up. The armrest blocked my view of her in the window, except her legs, which she’d thrown wide apart. One of them rested on the backrest, the other on the floor. Her posture made me think of the pictures of her that he’d taken. I heard her voice again. “My eyes are closed. I can’t see anything.” I stood still. I listened to her breathing. “Yes, alright,” she said, “I’ll do it.” I glanced at the envelopes lying on the floor and then back up at her reflection. She was facing away from me. Carefully, quietly, I stepped around the corner. She was lying there, naked, except the chain around her neck. She held the phone in one hand; her other hand she held at the juncture between her legs. I could see her breathing, our rings moving between her breasts. I could not see her face. I took another step. “Yes, all right,” she said. “I’m trying.” She sighed. “It’s really, really big.” A board creaked beneath my feet. Her eyelids fluttered; she did not open them. Her pink tongue appeared as she licked her lips. Her eyes moved beneath her lids. She released the phone, leaving it lying there, and reached down with her other hand. Between her legs she held an enormous looking cucumber, pressed up against the entrance to her cunt. The pace of her breathing increased as she tried to drive it in. I stood there, looking down on my naked wife: her nipples swollen, her breathing ragged. She was panting into the phone. A sex flush was creeping up around her breasts. Another car drove by, illuminating the room. I fled. From the hallway, hanging on to the bathroom door, I heard her talking dirty. “Fuck,” she moaned, “Yes… Fuck my cunt…” I crept back to the bedroom and lay back down in bed. I was sweating. I held out for a little while. But as her voice got louder, I felt myself giving up. “Yes,” she groaned, “Oh yes…” I touched myself, just lightly, just trailed my fingertips along the underside of my cock. “Oh fuck me,” she moaned, “Fuck me.” Her voice carried through the doorway. “Oh, I’m coming… I’m coming…! Shoot your spunk inside my cunt!” She began to come. I spasmed, shooting gobs of cum onto myself. I lay there, my spunk cooling on my belly, staring at the ceiling. I listened to her put down the phone. Then I must have drifted off. Later on, I felt her climbing into bed. “Michael?” she whispered softly. I lay silent. I could feel her eyes on me. After a little while she leaned down and kissed my forehead, and then my cheek. “I love you.” She settled down beside me and laid her hand gently on my chest. I listened while her breathing evened out and then became deeper. I resisted the urge to take her in her sleep. In the morning, when I stumbled out of bed, I found her in the kitchen. “You’re not going to work?” she asked. I nodded yes, but she shook her head. “People will talk,” she said. I opened my mouth, but forgot what I was about to say. I felt terrible. My mouth felt rank; I desperately needed a shower, and I had a headache. She smiled. “Honey,” she said, “Take it easy. Take the day off work.” She glanced away. “You look terrible. Take a shower, and I’ll make you breakfast. You want my scrambled eggs?” I shook my head, and then nodded yes. Actually I was starving. She got up, humming to herself, and turned her back to me. “Hurry up,” she said, “I have to go to work.” I took two aspirin in the bathroom, and brushed my teeth and flossed. I examined myself in the mirror, and found that she was right. The bruise had taken over a big chunk of the left side of my face. My lower lid had swollen up, giving me an ugly squinty look. I took a scalding shower. When I was done, I felt minimally alive, though tired, and my face still ached. The eggs were peppered, and lightly salted. She’d made a batch of fresh-squeezed carrot-apple juice. The butter was still melting into the toast, and she’d set out a jar of orange marmalade. She was dressed for work: a shapely navy miniskirt with ivory stockings, and a crisp white Oxford blouse. “You look wonderful,” she said. I grinned at her. “Liar.” She smiled and turned away from me. “Honey,” she said, “Something happened here last night.” She was looking out into our garden. I studied her shoulder, the side of her face. “What?” “It’s something I haven’t told you.” There was bacon popping on the stove. The smell of it permeated the room. “What?” I asked. She stood there for a moment, looking through the window. “It’s something you should know.” “Oh.” “Remember when I told you I’d tell you anything – anything you wanted to know?” She’d thickened her eyelashes with mascara. I watched them flutter against the light. “Yes.” “You have to promise you won’t get mad.” She turned and came around and sat down across from me. “Yes?” “He called here last night,” she said, reaching out across the table. “I wanted you to know.” She watched my face a moment. I swallowed. “Oh.” She looked down. “I wanted you to know. But it won’t happen again,” she said, “If you don’t want it to.” I saw her blue eyes looking through her eyelashes. She was blushing, slightly. “No. . .” I looked at her hand. I noticed she’d taken the band-aids off. “What did you two – talk about?” She looked up at the clock. “I can’t talk now,” she said. “I have to go to work. But.” She paused. “I’ll tell you anything you want.” I looked at her. I loved the way the sunlight played off her hair. She bit her lip, rising. “I told him,” she said, “how good you’ve been to me – lately – in bed.” I shook my head. “No. . .” I said. “Don’t.” “Ok.” She glanced back at me. “I’m sorry, Mike.” She grabbed her purse. “I really have to go.” “Maria?” “Yes?” She paused, halfway in the living room. “What else?” She turned, presenting her profile to me. “We – we had phone sex last night.” Her cheeks were coloring. “In the house.” She was looking at the couch. “Oh.” “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t have brought it home like that. Without asking you.” “Oh.” I shook my head. After a moment she turned to go. “Oh, honey,” she said, stopping at the door. “There’s something else-“ She was watching me. “I left my lunch over on the counter. Could you get it for me?” I rose and picked up a Ziploc plastic bag. Inside were a large green cucumber, a small cup of yogurt, and little plastic spoon. “What’s this?” I asked. “Oh,” she said, pausing at the door. “I’m trying to eat healthy.” She smiled. “For the baby.” She kissed me and pushed open the screen door. “Oh Michael,” she said, her last words to me. “The other pictures. The ones you didn’t see. I left them out for you.” She smiled. “Remember,” she said. “You promised. You won’t get mad.” I watched her walk away and disappear into her car. Fallen Ch. 30 Abdi'el's eyes widen as they meet Bridge's. "A long; long time ago when the Earth was new and her people old; men came from the stars," Bridge says in a soft, dreamy voice; all the while stroking Abdi'el's face with his head tilted to one side. "They built a beautiful city and bases for their armies who were fighting a war that was none of our business. We showed them the gateways to the wheel of destiny; gave them access to our Universe and all her wonders." He tilts his head to the other side and Abdi'el shivers. "Walking the spokes of the wheel the star men won their war and then they came back and settled in their white city on the cliff. The People lived side by side with the star men for a very long time and during that time a new race rose. They were nurtured and cherished by The People and their brothers from the bones of the earth-- the ancient dragons, whose breath is the breath of the wind and whose fire is the fire of the stars and whose bones are the bones of the hills and whose tears are the depths of the oceans." Bridge's voice has taken on a singsong quality as if he's speaking the words of a poem or a story that has been passed down generation to generation as history. It doesn't take me long to realise, that is exactly what it is. "But the star men did not cherish the Children of the Earth; they exploited them, enslaved them when the backs of The People were turned and the eyes of the Dragons were averted. Our children were scorned and used." He drops his hands and lowers his head to glare at Abdi'el; his eyes burning. "And then came those who did cherish The Children of Earth. They loved and were loved. In the name of that love they were torn down. The rulers of the star men were jealous with the power they had gained. They were angry that their own kind had shared it with The Children. They punished The Children and their own star men in the most terrible way. They tore souls from bodies and opened the Void to cast them into. "The People and the Dragons were horrified when the very fabric of their reality was torn apart. The Wheel was tilted and broken. The spirals of birth and death were twisted. The very essence of The Universe herself was spilled like blood on a battle-field. The People and brother Dragons were shut out of their own lands; caught on the wrong side of the gateways when they were closed. The balance of the universe was upset and great evil came upon us." Bridge shakes his head as if he is coming out of a dream and when he speaks again he uses his own voice. "Your little war caused more suffering to The Universe than you could ever atone for. Your Council and those who served them raped our world and our people, in the name of a God who does not exist and a power that was not yours in the first place. You tore and broke and twisted and we were helpless to stop you, because we were trapped on the wrong side of the gate. You leeched the magic out of the bones of the land and used it to dominate; to enslave – when it was always available for you to share. The Source: the life force that binds all and makes it whole was spilled from the bowl in which it was contained and the Earth became barren and devoid of magic and spirit. "But no more. The People are coming again. I am their forerunner and I am here to give you a message to take back to your Council. This Earth; this Wheel; this Power is OURS and we are taking it back. You are no longer welcome here. Take your Council and what remains of your people and walk the path of the stars back to where you belong. It is no longer here." For a long; long moment Abdi'el stares at him and then he starts to laugh. He is well over a head taller than Bridge and of a much larger build. He looks down on the delicate, fey boy and roars. "You," he sputters finally, "you dare to say this to me? You and your People were never more than an irritation to us. There was never a time when we 'lived together in harmony'. You lived the life you led because we allowed you to. And as for the Dragons..." he flicks a scornful glance across the river to Star. "I thought we had wiped them out millennia ago. They are beasts; little more than the horses we ride to war." My heart thuds in my chest. Even I know he's treading a thin line now. When we first came to Earth it was inhabited by races far stronger than we were. It was meant to be a temporary base for our forces, but when we realised there were gateways here that could take us to a whole new universe we made permanent bases here. We knew full well we were the lesser race and there were contracts; agreements. I've no idea whether it was by accident or design that The People, as they called themselves, and the true dragons were trapped outside our reality, but neither the Council nor their followers would have been able to do what they have done since, if they'd still been around. The Morning Star had tried his best to repair the damage and look where that got him. A horrible suspicion is rising in my breast and, when Star steps forward I feel proud and sick and terrified all at the same time. "I am no beast, Abdi'el." He walks slowly across the river to stand beside Bridge. The two 'men' who are holding Sacha take a step backwards and look at each other uncertainly. Bridge looks up at them. "Make him comfortable on the couch," he commands. After glancing at each other again and failing to meet Bridge's eyes they back away and disappear into the mists which linger at the back of the summerhouse. "You've had your moment, bitch. Now turn around and walk away, while you still can." "Not this time, star man." Bridge spits back with as much venom and scorn as Abdi'el, if not more. "This time we're taking back what's ours. Your Council is in disarray; your people scattered, while ours are coming back. You can stand and fight if you wish but this time it's a battle you can't win. Take that message back to your people. Those who wish to remain with their feet on the wheel can petition our Council and if we so decide they may remain but they are subject to our will and not their own. There will be no more dominating and demanding. You will follow the rules of The Universe as we do, or leave and make your own rules elsewhere." "Your Council? And what, pray would that be?" He sneers. "You are standing before it, Abdi'el and I would suggest you do nothing to piss us off or yours will be the first ass sent spinning off the wheel." Now Abdi'el looks even more uncertain and there is definitely a tinge of fear in his eyes. "Enough of this. You tire me, you pathetic creature." Abdi'el reaches out and grabs Bridge by the shoulder. Star steps forward but before he can do anything Bridge says softly. "Not anymore star man. Your time is past and mine has come again." Before Abdi'el can say a word or move a muscle he is lifted off his feet and slammed backwards through the mist and into what sounds like a solid object. "If you think that you can come to our world; take its resources; use it's people like animals; punish them and pervert them at your whim; drive away The People and their Brothers; dominate its development and twist its history for eternity then you are sadly delusional my friends. Your reign is over and ours has come again. "Leave this place freely and never return. If you don't then the only thing waiting for you will be death. Release our people; release those of yours who loved them and leave. Take a message back to your Council or those who now govern in their stead. The war is over; the time of the star men is over; it is our time now. The People have returned." Together Taz, Bridge and Rapha'el move forward. Before them the mist and smoke retreats. Star and I glance at each other and hurry to follow. When we reach the far wall we are surprised to find that Abdi'el and his friends have gone. All that remains is Sacha; lying on the couch; cold and still and pale. Without a word Rapha'el kneels at the side of the couch and lays his hands on Sacha; one on his forehead and the other on his stomach. He begins to glow. The light grows so bright I cannot look at him. When the light fades and we can see again Sacha is already stirring. Rapha'el moves back and we all draw closer. When Sacha opens his eyes they are clear but confused. "What happened? Serif? What...? Why...?" Bridge throws himself into Sacha's arms and hugs him, laughing. "It wasn't Serif and his name isn't Serif; it's Rapha'el and he's an angel... well kind of. So is Taz... and Luma. And Star is a dragon. Me? I don't know what I am but I think I might have been possessed for a while but I'm alright now." Sacha looks deeply confused and I don't blame him because so am I. "Possessed, Bridge?" "I think so. At least something was speaking through me. I heard what I said but it wasn't me saying it. It was cool though, wasn't it... when that power flowed through me? Heck, I wish it was here all the time." "Are you sure it's not?" Rapha'el asks softly. "Um... it's never been there before; at least I don't think so." "Try." "But I don't know how." "Concentrate on something you want to move and then move it." "But..." "Just try, Bridge." Bridge narrows his eyes and looks past me into the distance. After a while a strange sound fills the air and before I even have the chance to work out what it is, water gushes over the waterfall and drops in foaming profusion to fill the dry river bed. Turning back to Bridge I have a smile on my face. His is grave and thoughtful. "I remember." "Remember what?" "What I am; what I'm supposed to do." "What are you supposed to do?" "This," he says as he stands and raises his arms. There is a shimmering in the air that grows until we are standing in the middle of an incandescent world in which we are the only ones who exist. I blink as I see shadows moving through the shimmering, opaque air; many figures. I blink again and the shimmering is gone; the summerhouse is gone; the maze is gone. We are standing on a lawn which stretches to the wall in one direction and the house in the other. It has never been here before, but I remember where I have seen it before. Once, Astaria and I walked on this lawn together. Once we loved and planned and wept here. It's just a lawn. There is nothing to tell me that it is THE lawn... except that I know. The waterfall and the river are still there only now they cut across the lawn and not across the wheel. In the centre of the lawn; on the banks of the river is a podium on which lies a large marble bowl. Inside the bowl is the same incandescence that so recently surrounded us. However, I barely glance at the bowl; my eyes are too busy elsewhere. I have never seen so many people here; or anywhere near here. Well, 'people' wouldn't be exactly the right word. These are The People; the fey folk, faeries, goblins, elves, forest spirits; whatever you would like to call them; as divorced in their own way from humanity as the dragons and... us. The People are all beautiful in their own way. Those nearest to us are tall, willowy and graceful. They are all serene and restrained. They are all here. Of course they are not all present physically in one place and time, but they are all here nevertheless. Out of the sea of fey, seven very definitely human figures squeeze and weave. It is with enormous relief that I see my boys break through and run to me. Whatever is going to happen next at least we will be together to face it. One of the tall, serene fey detaches from the throng and approaches us, with a distant smile on her elfin face. She stops before Bridge and, taking his hand lifts it to her lips. "Well met, child." "It was you, wasn't it? You who spoke through me?" "It was." "And was it your power too?" She smiled gently and shook her head, dropping Bridge's hand. "No little one, that was all your own." "Wow. So I can really do that? I can make things move with my mind?" "Not your mind, little one; your energy. It will grow as your understanding of who and what you are grows." "What's going to happen now?" Bridge sounds very uncertain. "What would you like to happen?" The woman asks with an indulgent smile. "I want to stay here with Luma and my friends. But I can't; can I?" His beautiful eyes fill with tears and it makes them even more beautiful. Feeling fiercely protective I put my arm around him and pull him close to my side. He rests his head against my shoulder. "Why not?" She asks gently "They have to leave... Luma, Taz and Serif - Rapha'el. I have to make them leave and it's Luma's house and..." "You do not HAVE to make anyone leave, little one. If it is your desire to extend welcome to the star men then it is your privilege to do so. There will be others who work with us; who have been our friends and will be our friends; who will enjoy our patronage. It is only those who have raped and destroyed who are no longer welcome here." "So... Luma can stay here? It can still be his house and I can stay here with him?" "If that is what you wish." "Yes... yes it is what I wish. And the rest of us? We can all stay here?" "If that is what you wish." "Yes. It is. I want to stay here; all of us together, just like it was." "Then it shall be so. Although, I am afraid that you will have to say goodbye to two of your friends." "No. Who? Oh." Sadly Bridge turns to Rapha'el. "It's you isn't it: you and Taz?" Rapha'el smiles gently and nods. "But they said..." He turns to the fey woman. "You said that they could stay if I wanted." "As powerful as you may be little one you cannot control the hearts and destinies of others. Your friends could stay if they wished; but they have work to do elsewhere. They have worked with us for some time and will be our ambassadors with the star men. They will do this work because they can, and because they want to; not because they have to." "Oh. I can't be sad about that, can I? It's important isn't it?" he says, his voice trembling. "Very important," Rapha'el says and Taz moves impulsively to hug Bridge. "You will come back won't you? You will visit us?" "Of course," Rapha'el says; smiling his slow sweet smile. "You will have many visitors, I'm sure. Now this place is as unique as you are. You are free to go and do whatever you want; all of you and all that is asked of you is that this place is cared for and protected." While he speaks he gestures to the bowl. "What is that?" Bridge asks curiously and moves forward to peer into the bowl. His hand reaches out to touch the shimmering liquid; if that is what it is. The fey woman is faster and intercepts it before it reaches the surface. "That is the very essence of the universe, my child. Be careful. If you touch it you will be changed; changed beyond all expectation or return. Before you do so be very sure that you are ready to leave behind all that you have touched and accumulated in this life and move on to the next." "I'll die? If I touch it I'll die?" Bridge snatches his hand back, startled. "You will be changed." "So what's it for?" "When it is time you will know little one. There will be those who will come to you and you will know when you should send them to the Source and by watching them you will know when it is your own time to move on. Until then you are its guardian only." Bridge turns to me as if he's thought of something. It is clear that it is troubling him deeply. "You're free now Luma. You can go anywhere you want to go. I need to stay here to guard the bowl. Will you leave me? Or will you stay with me?" I stare at him; at the uncertain green eyes; the trembling lips. I think of the eons I have spent longing to be free; to be able to escape the confines of this bubble in time and space. Now I can and it's the last thing I want to do. "I would never leave you. I love you too much." "Me too." Star confirms. "I'm here as long as you are." "And me." Sacha confirms. The four of us embrace. "What about us?" Chancey asks nervously. I realise that they have been shut out of the conversations so far and none of them have the first idea what's going on or where they stand in it. I turn to look at them and see expressions ranging from wonder to terror on their faces. "As long as this is my home you will be welcome in it. I couldn't imagine my life without you." They smile; some uncertainly; some brightly and my heart feels warm. I am completely overwhelmed. I don't know where to look; what to think; what to feel. I jump at a gentle touch on my arm. I turn to find myself wrapped in two soft but strong arms. The smell of musk is overpowering but only because of its familiarity. I rest my head against a strong chest as wings unfurl and wrap around me. I am cut off from the rest of the world and my head is spinning. I lift my face and lips press against mine. I allow mine to part and the breath that flows into me is sweet. "I'm going to miss you and I have only known you for a few days," I murmur with real regret. Serif was always fun to be around' but Rapha'el... "I'll be around. Are you sure you want to stay here?" "No. I'm not sure at all but this is where my family needs to be, at least for the moment. They need some stability. They need security to come to terms with what has happened and to be able to move on strong. One day soon I will take them walking on the spokes of the wheel and introduce them to some of the other worlds that surround us. I have a feeling that, Bridge in particular, once he has had a taste of the wonders of The Universe will want to explore more." "And what about your humans? What will you do with them? Will you keep them as they are or will you change them?" "We'll see what happens. For now all I want is to get back on solid ground again." "Then perhaps we should touch down." I look down and am surprised to find that we are hovering over the heads of the throng below. "You've swept me off my feet." "Just as I always did," he whispers as he kisses me again and memories flood me that I have held at bay for so long. "Please," I whisper against his lips. "Please don't. Don't make me remember and then leave me again." "I never left you," he says with tears in his eyes. "Haven't I always been with you?" I frown and then my eyes widen. "It's you. It's always been you. All these years, it's been you... everywhere, always." I can't believe it. Now that I look into those blue eyes I remember. All these years they have been everywhere; the same eyes in different faces, always watching me... now I realise they have always been watching over me. "Everywhere," he says, smiling at me; his eyes misting, "always. And I always will." "Stay. Please. Stay with me." He smiles his beautiful smile. "It's not our time, Lumi'el. A long time ago we were lovers but then there was Astaria. I never resented her. She filled a part of you I could never reach. And for me... another did the same." He smiles a sad smile. "Although he is gone now there is another who calls to me." "Taz?" He laughs. "His father was my heart and soul. At first I resisted with every atom of my being but... He is so like his father and yet so unlike him. He is more fiery; stronger in many ways and more faithful. I have searched my heart in fear that I don't love him but only the memory of his father in him... but it is not so. I do love him; for himself." "Then I don't begrudge you your happiness with him. You have woken something in my heart that has been dormant for a long time. I no longer fear to remember, and when I do remember I will remember you." He laughs again. "Don't be so solemn. I will not leave it so long next time. I will return and when I do we will rake over the old fires and see if we can make the coals smoulder again. These last three hundred years I have been hiding from you. Now there is no need to hide I think you will find our lovemaking more... interesting. But don't forget in the meantime; as I have Taz, you have Star... Bridge... Sacha... Chancey..." Fallen Ch. 30 "Alright; I get the message." "And also don't forget... soon you will have Astaria too. When she comes you now have the means to keep her with you for eternity. You have the freedom to walk the spokes with her; to explore the universe. Your future laid out before you is a glistening web and the paths that lead from your feet are loaded with possibility. Your destiny is yours to steer again and so are those in your charge." "I'll do my best but I have never been good at taking care of the people I love. Look what happened..." "No, it's time to stop looking back and start looking forward. We have both lost so much but look at what we've gained." "I know, but it's hard; especially now, it's hard." Rapha'el sighs. "We have come full circle, Lumi'el. Once we stood on opposite sides of the fence and I watched your soul torn out. In that moment I hated humanity; hated Astaria: hated them because they took you away from me. Over the years I have realised that it wasn't humanity that separated us but prejudice and I have defeated that in me. Now here we are, on the same side. You have the humans in your charge to care for and I have the rest of the world. It feels good to be in harmony Luma." "We were always in harmony; it was others who broke the music." "Yes, it was always others." He looks so very sad. "Rapha'el, can I ask you something. It occurs to me, looking over these last few days... When you first revealed yourself to me as Seraph you told me a story..." Rapha'el flinches and turns his head away. When he turns it back there are tears in his eyes. "Yes, it was him; it was Tazi'el." He closes his eyes and bites his lip. "His 'sin', the reason he was... ended, was Taz. They discovered he had found and bedded his human wife and that a son had been born. They would have killed Taz too if I hadn't helped his father take him and hide him. When I broke out of prison I headed straight for you, after picking Taz up on the way; because I knew we would be safe with you." "Safe? I..." "We have been safe here, Luma." "I... Yes, I suppose you have. You, of all of them always have." "I love you Luma and I always will. I will never leave you. I will always be here for you. I will always be watching and I will come whenever I can. I am your guardian angel after all." "I know. I'll be watching for you." Rapha'el wraps his strong arms around me and I feel safe and loved. We kiss deeply and then my feet touch the earth and he releases me. "Farewell friends," he says simply and then the strange shimmering rises around us again. "No. Wait," Bridge cries, "Don't leave; not yet. I don't understand. I don't know what to do next. Wait." But there is no response from the incandescent air. "Please." Bridge repeats. But the mist fades and with it The People, Taz and Rapha'el. We are alone. "But... I don't understand." Bridge says with tears in his eyes. "You will," I murmur as I take him into my arms burying my hands in his glorious hair. "One day, when the time is right, you will." And then I kiss him and there is no space for speaking in the kiss. Hands touch me, stroke me, massage me. Lips caress my body. Bridge's lips are replaced by others and I hear Bridge moan and sigh as someone else takes my place with him. I feel myself falling backwards, tipped by many hands and then I am lying on the cool, green grass looking up into a circle of faces while I listened to the sounds of Bridge's pleasure nearby. I find two points of aqua, like stars in a night sky and, as they draw closer I close my eyes and surrender. In that moment the past present and future came together in a way they never had before and we were truly free. One day we would leave this place, we would travel the universe in search of adventure but this place will always be our home, it's occupants our family and we will always come back. THE END Fallen Chit Running through the woods my breath catching in my chest, my feet barely grazing the ground. Twigs and leaves catching in my hair, and each time I try to look behind me I loose my footing and nearly fall. I can hear his steady breathing behind me getting closer each time I stumble, a wolf closing in. Frantically I try to find somewhere to hide, somewhere to go, someone to help; yet all I find is endless trees, bushes and rocks. His loping gait is getting closer as I find my strength and endurance running thin, too close to hide, too close to stop. Suddenly my foot slips under a root and I fall hard to the ground pushing all my breath out of my lungs in a whoosh. With my ears ringing from the impact I didn't hear him until he was over me. "Now, now, if you had come with me easy you wouldn't have been hurt at all. Of course you always have to do it the hard way don't you." He towered over me, the dusk shadowing his features except the fact he was tall and broad, yet it was his growling words that chilled me to the bone. "Yes I have been watching you for a long time, working at the pub filling the mugs for all the gents, teasing them, fooling them. I also know that you have never been with any of them, no you were saving yourself for a knight of your imagination. Guess it's time for that fantasy to go to the wayside." As his words sunk in the chills turned to numbness and tears stung my eyes, how did he know so much and why would he care about a girl like me. Darting my eyes madly I looked for an escape, he must have noticed in the quickly dissipating light. Chuckling deeply, "Do you really think a little thing like you can get away, I've proven that I can out run you. If I need to I will prove more if you test me, then again you have always been a stubborn chit." My mind was quickly running out of ideas, but I had to get away from him, nothing good could come from giving in. Scrabbling up I starting to move away from him, but I quickly felt a weight fly into my back knocking the breath out of me again. Sinister laughing came this time, "Really as if I didn't see that one coming, you know your face gives away all your thoughts. Seems like we will have to do this the hard way, then again I always like a challenge." With that he changed his stance and placed his torso over my back pinning me to the ground but making it so I could breathe again. The air rushing to my lungs was blissful until I realized he was tying my legs together with a length of rope. I start thrashing under him trying to unseat him, but it is like trying to move a mountain. Around my ankles the rope goes tying them together and then he quickly turns and catches one of my arms behind me wrenching it back. I feel the rope bite into my uncovered wrist, tears leaking from my eyes. Easily my other wrist was caught and tied, so that I felt like a fellen deer. Still he is not done; next I feel a piece of fabric cover my eyes blocking the last of the light. My body goes ridged which he can feel, "Now, now, don't worry that's just to keep you calm, think of the horses in the streets. This is to keep you quiet so that I can move you easy." Suddenly I taste leather in my mouth, and he ties it quickly behind my head before I can push it out. My fear total and my body tired, my mind blew out and I fainted in those dark woods. As I wake up he is splaying me out on the bed, I thrash as much as my tired and sore body can, but even I know it is a weak attempt, more on the principle I wouldn't go easy. He chuckles slightly but continues to tie me out so that my arms and legs are spread but not uncomfortable, a little kindness that is welcomed. The blindfold of fabric covers all of my sight except I can tell he has some lights lit due to a brighter backlit and he chooses to keep the leather bit in for now. He starts talking to me in a low an easy tone, yet far from comforting it was unnerving. "I bet you are wondering why you were chosen and more importantly how I know you so well. I will answer the first question now and if you please me I will answer the second." I can feel the bed press down where he sat down near my feet. Off slides my boots the ropes cutting into my ankles and my fear rising again. "I would guess it comes to no surprise of yours that I have been watching you work for some time now. I notice you try to hide the fact you are tall and lanky so that you won't stand out so much from your friend who also is a barmaid, the petite curvy one, she shows off those globes to whomever will look. Except you, oh I see it in your eyes and even though you won't admit it you want her like a man wants a woman. I'm not here to judge, she's a fine chit, but not what I like. No she's not, plus if memory serves right she looks for love in all the wrong beds. It must hurt you to see a friend try so hard to find the one man she can get to marry her and make a secure life for herself yet choose so wrong night after night. How many men has she shared her bed with above the pub only to wake up and have a copper on her nightstand than a man left in her bed? No she's not my type at all." His hand made his way up my leg giving me chills that had nothing to do with fear. "I do like the type that's graceful and that can make a smart man laugh at her wit, and beauty that is understated and natural, not pushed out of shape. And I know that you untie yourself every chance you get that you hate the paint on your cheeks that the owner gives you to wear saying it will help the pub make the gents happier." I felt him move and then a damp rag started cleaning off my face where my tears had probably smeared the paint anyway. "All the while cutting down that little joy you have in you. So that one day you think the only way someone will want you is to get to others or because there is nothing better. Personally I think there is no one better, each piece of you revealed is better than imagined." I feel him moving again and suddenly I find myself tightening again, which is strange because I wasn't sure when I started to relax. "Also for your imagined knight, hate to tell you, they all died in the last plague so you are just stuck with us gents. Really I can be a nice one if you are good and then you will see it, if you are bad then you will not. Truly it is up to you except for the fact that I will have you. Come now it's not so bad, at least I will remember your name and every bit of your body, unlike those drunks that will eventually whittle you away until you are the next whore upon rags. Consider this a liberation, once you can speak again call me Sir or Master, shouldn't be too hard for you to remember should it. Now I want to see that beautiful body you have." My mind is trying to sort through what he had just revealed I don't have anytime to recover before I feel the blade at my neck. My breath stops dead in my throat before he says, "Easy now just going to take off these rags, I don't want to mar your nice skin." I still don't trust him but I stay still as I can while he cuts through my nicer dress, my mind inexplicably biting back the words, these are NOT rags. A blush makes it's way up into my cheeks as my small breasts are displayed as the dress gets slit down farther. Once he gets to the end of my skirt I try hiding my face into my arm to no avail, and too soon I am naked as the day I was born. My whole body is hot from embarrassment and I hate him for showing me off in such a manner. I feel his hand touch me softly, twitching away from the surprise there came yet another, it felt good to have his warm hand on my skin. His voice is gentle again yet had a gruffness that isn't placed there for intimidation but rather from lust. "Yes, your body is mine, so soft and fit." I feel his hands circle my nipples, "and responsive too. You have so much untapped passion, and I will drink it like a fine wine." Then his warm mouth goes around my hardened nipple, making me arch my back, from what I cannot say. I can feel myself dampening down below and I know this was to help the act, but I can't stop the tingles running through my body. Only my mind is trying to resist but without eyesight or my mouth I am losing the battle quickly. He must have noticed I am softening, "I will remove your gag if you behave, there is no one around us so they cannot hear you if you should scream." I feel the blade once again by my face and then the gag is slit and with an effort I push it out of my mouth, yet still the leather taste remains. "If you want to keep your tongue don't try biting me or anything of that nature." He comes in close; I can smell the spicy scent of his cologne, feel the hot breath upon my neck. He kisses the hollow of my neck and kisses and nibbles up to my ear, it is all I can do to hold in a moan. My teeth are biting into my bottom lip then suddenly his lips are covering mine, I gasp at the intrusion and his tongue slips into my mouth. He plays it across my lips and tangles with my tongue, I can taste apples on it and my body tingles in anticipation. He pulls back a little and I can feel myself following him hoping for his soft and warm lips to continue. I can feel him smile while pressed into me then he pulls completely away. "Just as I thought, you want me don't you?" I shook my head no but my teeth are embedded into my lips again, preventing me from saying yes. "Too bad, I can make you moan and quiver all night long." I cannot give in but it takes everything I have to keep my mouth shut, unfortunately my body rises to press into him only the ropes cutting into keeps me from him. "Mmmmmm, yes you want me to use you, to take you." I feel his hand tracing down my body, raising goose bumps in its path. Instead of coming back to my lips he works down my body to my opened cunny, I can feel his breath on it. "I will make you beg for it." Then he dives in his tongue ringing the opening collecting all the juices that started building there, when I'm not sure. Then a jolt razes through my body as he hit my not so hidden button and I can no longer suppress my moans. Even my hips are disobeying me; dancing to his tongue. Each lick, nibble and suck make my body tense farther in pleasure, a spring needing to be released. Quickly I can feel myself getting closer to an ultimate pleasure, and then he moves back. "No! Damn you, what do you want from me?" I yell my frustration at him. "Beg for me, beg me to take your virginity," he growls sexily. My anger boils over and I don't know what swear words I use but they pour from my mouth. "Now, now, that's not begging," he slaps my cunny with his hand and begins rubbing again. As I'm getting close again he quits and asks, "What do you want?" I know this will continue but I can't stop and I start yelling at him this time, again he builds then asks again after stopping. I can't take it anymore. "Please don't stop, I need to feel it spring. I need you inside of me, please make me your whore." The words slip from my mouth but I have no time to think as he sinks his hard cock into my wet cunny, breaking past my maidenhood. There was a brief pain but he starts moving slowly and all I can think about is how good he feels. I cannot control my hips as I push back at him and I no longer care, it feels too good. Once he feels me pushing back he starts thrusting faster rubbing into me. I try to move my arms to grip him but the ties hold me back. I can feel it building in me quickly and I know he will allow me to finish this time. My breaths are mare pants and moans then my breath catches and my world shatters into a thousand pleasurable pieces floating in midair. Then it snaps and I can breath again as my body tingles as though struck by lightening. Surprisingly he is still inside me and still hard, and again he starts pushing into me slowly. My body is so sensitive it takes but a few short strokes before I finish again this time white lightening flashes behind my blind eyes taking my body with it. I can feel a rush of fluid expelled from my body and onto his cock. The feel of it and my tight vice of a cunny was too much this time and he pushes deep into me before groaning and releasing his seed into me. Once he's finished I feel him move back and slip from me and I am left with an empty feeling. I can feel him pulling on the rope around my ankles and then they are free after that he moves to the arms. I can feel his weight pressing down beside me and instantly I am curling towards him. He puts his one arm around me and the other out so I can rest my head on it and his chest. His heartbeat and breathing is all I can hear and it is oddly comforting. Finally free to touch him, I do and his body is warm and somewhat soft, his chest is a little hairy and well muscled. He signs a little so I bring my head back, "Yes, you will come with me little, you will be my pet." Some how that doesn't scare me but it does send my mind racing...