45 comments/  147015 views/  21 favorites

Disco Nights Ch. 01

By: itmgr2010



This story was inspired by a real event that occurred in the late 70's. A time before HIV, Cell Phones, DNA testing or the Internet. Vietnam, the Cold War and the Draft were the topics of the day. Disco ruled. It is a story about love, infidelity, consequences and sacrifice. The names and details have been changed to protect the guilty. There is very little sex in this story.

*

It was a Monday afternoon in early December that I got the call that changed my life. When I answered the phone a man said, "Is this Alan Baxter?"

"It is. Can I help you?"

He said, "The husband of Lisa Baxter?"

Becoming a little concerned, I replied, "Yes, is something wrong?"

He said, "Unfortunately I am calling to tell you about the inappropriate relationship your wife is having with a man down at the 'The Extra Point'."

At first I was stunned, then annoyed about receiving an obvious prank call. "Who the hell are you and why are you telling me this crap!"

He said, "This is no bullshit, your wife is meeting another guy on Friday nights at the disco."

I knew this wasn't true, not my wife! But an uneasy feeling came over me. Something was going on, something I did not understand, I had to think. But I needed time, "I 'm not alone. Can you call me back in twenty minutes?"

He said, "Okay," and hung up.

I stood there with the phone in my hand, my arms and legs starting to shake. I felt a cold sweat breaking out. My heart was racing but my thoughts felt like molasses. I sat down and put my head in my hands. There couldn't be anything to this, could there?

I had been married to Lisa for six and a half years. We have a beautiful six-year old daughter named Maddy who is the center of our world. And yes, Maddy came a little early. Lisa was pregnant when we got married.

*******

We met during fall term at the local community college. I was twenty and she was eighteen. Lisa was a first year nursing student.

I had completed two years of Business and Accounting but lost my student draft deferment for being five credits behind where the selective service guidelines said I should be. Even though I lived at home I had worked full-time every other term to help pay my tuition. Vietnam was in full swing and needless to say the draft board was not sympathetic.

I was just hanging around the college taking a couple of classes, but mostly playing cards with my buddies in the commons, expecting my draft notice to show up any day. Truth is I was an indifferent student and more than a little bored with school. I had some money in the bank and was young, naïve, and thought that getting away from home and out in the world wouldn't be all bad.

One of guys I was playing cards with, nudged me and said, "look at that" and pointed at the cafeteria line. There was a girl standing there, long brown hair, in a short skirt with great legs. He said "that's Lisa Hartwell; she was two years behind us in high school."

As I studied her I thought to myself "damn, she's cute." As soon as she sat down we walked over and he introduced me. The three of us sat for a while and talked. The two of them had grown up in the same neighborhood and mostly talked about their old gang while I listened and admired the view.

Eventually she said she had to get to class, smiled at both of us and left. I was instantly attracted to her. She was about 5'7", 115 pounds with a dancer's body. Long and lean. Turned out, dancing was her hobby and she had performed in a couple of high school musicals.

She wasn't pretty in a classic sense, but attractive and sexy. She had a big smile, an easy personality and obvious sex appeal. She would talk to anybody and could instantly make you feel she was interested in you.

In high school you could say I was part of the nerd crowd. Not very outgoing and didn't make new friends easily. I read a lot but only got mediocre grades. I was not lazy so I always had a job and took pride in having my own money and my own transportation.

Other than one girlfriend for a few months in my junior year, I only dated a few times. I was tall, 6' 3", 195 pounds, wore glasses and was kind of ordinary looking. I enjoyed sports but was not very good at them. I had never learned to dance, didn't have an expensive car and was never really comfortable talking to girls. So I never attracted much attention.

During my freshman year at college I dated a girl I had met in my summer job. She was good looking, smart and was a sophomore at a nearby University on a scholarship. She was also very religious. Dancing, drinking or sex was not part of her belief system. Strangely enough she loved to make out. About once a week after going to dinner, a concert or the movies we would go parking somewhere and make out like monkeys in the backseat.

She also made sure I kept my hands away from her good parts. Every night I would go home with a case of blue balls. Toward the end of the school year she was offered a summer job in Maine. We both knew this wasn't going to go any further so we decided not to get back together when she came back to school.

After that, other than school and work, my social activities revolved around hanging out with the guys, beach party weekends at the lake weather permitting, occasional poker nights and college keggers. I kind of took to partying more than was probably good for me. I know I gave my parents fits some weekends when I stumbled home in the wee hours of the morning.

I finally lost my virginity to a girl I met at the lake during one of those beach parties. Thanks to more than a few beers on both our parts. She lived about eighty miles away so we only got together about a half dozen times. I had been her first also so we never really got into exploring the wilder aspects of sex. It was fun but when she went downstate to college at the end of the summer our relationship just sort of faded away.

A few days after meeting Lisa, I saw her sitting alone in the commons so I walked over to her table and sat down. We talked for awhile and I really felt the attraction. She told me about deciding to go into nursing since she had been working in hospitals since she was old enough to be a candy striper.

She lived at home to save money as her Dad was on disability. We talked about our families and just really hit it off. Finally I asked her if she would like to go out with me for a movie and pizza this coming week end. She said she was free on Saturday. I said great and would pick her up at seven.

So that started it. After our second date we ended up parking off of one of the county back roads and making out. She was so hot! After being in a clinch for awhile my hands were starting to wander. She finally pushed me away and sat back against the door and said, "Let's talk."

"About what?" I mumbled. "First thing that comes up," and she laughed. Well, I had to laugh too. That cooled things down for the evening.

A couple of weeks later I was visiting at her house and we started to get into it. Her parents had gone to bed but it was a small house and you knew whatever happened in one part of the house could be heard in every part of the house. I suggested we go for a ride. So we drove over to a secluded wood a few miles away.

We climbed into the backseat and we were all over each other. Pretty soon I had her shirt unbuttoned and her bra off and was licking and sucking for all I was worth. She had small breasts but nipples that got as hard as rocks. She was gasping, moaning and making appreciative noises that turned me on even more. We were both rubbing each other's crotches and I was harder than hell. I got her pants unzipped and dipped my hand down her panties and found a swamp. I got one finger in her then a second and started to go to town. About that time she got me unzipped and had a hold of my cock like she would never let go. I thought to myself, yes! This is going to happen! I started pulling her jeans and panties off and she lifted her butt to help. I shucked out of my pants, shorts and shoes in nothing flat and we went back to playing with each other.

After a bit I pulled back and looked around for my wallet. Lisa was almost panting, "What are you doing"?

"I'm looking for a condom," I said.

"Don't worry, I 'm two days away from my period, I'm safe." I thought to myself, she's a nursing student so she should know. I sat back down against the seat and she swung her leg over me, grabbed my cock and lined it up with her pussy and slowly lowered herself onto me.

I could just feel myself tickling her cervix as she bottomed out. She grabbed my face and stuck her tongue half way down my throat. Man, I never felt anything so good! It was my first time without a condom and there was just no comparison!

It only took a half a dozen strokes and I couldn't hold it. I thought it would have been running out her ears as hard as I came. At the same time she ground herself onto my cock one last time, shuddered and slowly went limp against my chest. We just lay there, holding each other. Both of us feeling something special had occurred.

After that I was whipped. I admit it. We were talking on the phone almost every day, going out once or twice every week, and almost always ended the night making love. And it wasn't just sex. I didn't know if it was love but it was close.

A friend of mine with his own apartment would let me use it on weekends when he went up north to visit his parents. We would make love three, four times a night before I had to get her home. Lisa was totally uninhibited, energetic, vocal and multi-orgasmic. We found we both enjoyed oral sex, taking showers together and making love in just about every position we had heard about. I was not her first but she said there had been only one other guy she had dated in Florida during spring break.

A few weeks later, the end of the college term and my draft notice arrived at about the same time. I had to report to the processing center in thirty days. Lisa got all weepy when I told her and she said she loved me. Up to that point I had avoided saying the 'L' word but I had to admit I thought I loved her too.

About a week before I was to leave we were out and Lisa had this nervous look on her face. "Alan, I need to tell you something. I'm late for my period." I thought, 'Oh shit'! Somehow I never thought about birth control or condoms after that first night. Neither one of us brought it up so I assumed she was safe and on the pill or something.

I just sat there, trying to think of something to say. Lisa just looked at the ground and tears started running down her face. I felt so bad I reached out and wrapped her in my arms and hugged and kissed her. After a while she settled down and we started talking about our different options.

For some reason neither one of us mentioned marriage. We decided if she were pregnant she would either have an abortion or have the baby and put it up for adoption. In either event, one of Lisa's brothers and his wife lived down in Alabama so she thought she could go live with them for awhile. Maybe she could keep the pregnancy from her friends and the rest of the family.

I said I thought that might be best. I had some money put away and as soon as my Army pay kicked in I could send her some more. Neither of us was happy that night and I took her home without our usual passionate ending.

Lisa went to the doctor a couple of days later and confirmed it. We made tentative plans for her to go down south after I went in the Army. I gave her most of everything I had in the bank, which with what money she had should take care of her needs.

We went out the night before I left and made love, over and over in a quiet kind of desperation. When I dropped her off at home, Lisa clung to me and whispered, "I am so scared, Alan, I love you more than anything". As I drove away I felt about as low as I ever had in my life.

About six hours later, myself and a couple of hundred other nervous, sleep deprived and in many cases, hung over, guys reported in to the Induction Center. After processing we were sworn into the Army, handed a box lunch, put on busses and made the ten hour drive to Ft. Knox, Kentucky. We stumbled off the bus around midnight, being screamed at by a half dozen no-nonsense Drill Instructors. We were hustled through a line to pick up bedding and then shoved into an old WWII barracks to sleep on bunks nearly as old.

Now during Vietnam, Army Basic Combat Training consisted of about one week in-processing and orientation, then six weeks of military training. Advanced Individual Training (AIT) would follow after that for what ever specialty you chose, or the Army had chosen for you. Basic included all the usual things everyone has heard of, physical fitness training, rifle instruction and qualification, obstacle course, drill & ceremony, land navigation, map reading, hygiene and dozens of other necessary military topics.

I found the trick to surviving basic training was to keep your mouth shut, do what you are told, and sleep when you got the chance. We were always exhausted from the high speed, high stress environment. I was a couple of years older than the average recruit with two years of college. So I was made a squad leader after the first one crashed and burned in week two. He had a sudden epiphany that he was a Conscientious Objector and was against the war. I think he was just a little late with that call.   

Meanwhile Lisa was writing me daily. The highlight of our day was mail call. One thing about the Army, they never stood between a soldier and his mail. She told me over and over how much she loved me and kept me up to date on her progress to move to Alabama. Or I should say lack of progress. She said her sister wore the pants in that family and was not being cooperative. She was reluctant to get involved in our problems and was trying to convince Lisa to tell her parents.

Now Lisa's folks always treated me okay, but they were chain smoking, beer drinking factory rat hillbillies from way back. Her father, brother and brother were bona fide alcoholics who cheated on their spouses, fought anyone at the drop of a hat, and if not actually abused their kids, at least neglected them.

Her mother and sister spent most of their time trying to keep up with their men folk. Lisa was the baby in the family and seemed to have escaped the worst of the family influence. She never developed a taste for beer and quit smoking as soon as she found out I didn't like girls who did. Somehow I just did not get a warm and fuzzy feeling about them finding out I knocked up their baby daughter.

As the weeks rolled by I was totally involved in getting through training. But every night I was bombarded with letters from Lisa getting more and more desperate over the pregnancy. Between basic training and her letters my gut was always in a knot. I frequently wrote back and called her whenever we were given phone privileges. She kept trying to work things out with her sister but was getting nowhere.

At the time, if your training went well each company was promised a 48 hour weekend pass after week four. Lo and behold on that Thursday we were told we would be released Friday night and would not be due back until Sunday night. However the terms of the pass stated you were not to go further than fifty miles from post or you would be considered AWOL.

There were six of us in my platoon who all lived in the same county who wanted to get home and see our wives or girlfriends. So we all chipped in and rented a car and hit the road. It was more like five hundred miles to home than fifty. After eight hours of driving I was dropped off at my parent's house about two in the morning. I got about six hours sleep and then headed over to see Lisa.

Her parents had gone up to the lake where they kept a trailer so we were able to be alone. She started crying when she saw me at the door and held on to me like she thought she would never see me again. We went back to her bed and threw our clothes off. We made love and talked and made love again and talked some more.

It had come down to her sister wouldn't let her come to Alabama and she thought she was almost ten weeks along. Almost too far along for an abortion. As we made love that last time that morning she started crying and said, "I don't want to kill our baby!" That stopped me in mid-stroke. I realized that I had only one option left. I knew I couldn't abandon her.

Finally I said, "Lisa, do you want to get married?" Not the most romantic of proposals for sure.

She wiped her eyes and whispered, "I don't want you to feel you have to marry me." I assured her I didn't and I thought this would be the best solution.

As much as I dreaded it I would tell my parents before I left the next day to return to Ft. Knox. She would have to tell her parents and start making plans for the wedding. I told her whatever arrangements she wanted to make would be fine with me. But she couldn't set a date until I knew where I was going after basic training.

With the decision made we were able to relax a little and think about what this meant. Was it love? I thought so. I knew I wanted to be with her and that's all there was to it.

The next morning I caught Mom and Dad before they left for church and got the hard part over. What made it easier was that my older brother had gotten married two years before when he got his girlfriend pregnant. Things were tense for quite a while but they finally came around and things worked out. And when their baby came everything was forgiven.

I have to say a few things about my family. Dad was a mid-level supervisor for a manufacturing company and Mom was a full-time homemaker and part-time teacher's aide. They did pretty well financially, always had a nice home and were able to provide the necessities for us four boys. They were active in church and PTA.

While I was growing up, we were expected to attend church every Sunday. As soon as I was old enough to get a job I figured out if I had to work on Sunday I could get out of it. I always tried to work on Sunday. They didn't smoke, rarely swore or drank. They were very family oriented. And we never doubted they loved us.

So when I told them that Lisa and I were going to get married they had been over this ground before. Mom simply asked, "Do you have to?"

"Don't have to Mom, but Lisa is pregnant."

Dad just got this grim look on his face and Mom just shook her head. "Have Lisa call me this week and we can talk about your plans while you are off playing soldier." And then they left for church. I ran over to Lisa's to spend a couple of hours with her then met up with the guys for the drive back down south.

As graduation approached I received orders to Ft. Polk, Louisiana for my Advanced Individual Training. The Army in its infinite wisdom decided I was to receive eight weeks on-the-job training to be an administrative assistant in the post Adjutant Generals office. I always figured it was because I had a couple years of college and knew how to type. The best thing was I could have up to seven days leave before reporting. I called Lisa and asked her if that was enough time to have the wedding. Lisa, her mother and my mother had things well in hand and managed to pull it together.

We had a nice church wedding, not too large with a reception following. Lisa was a beautiful bride. And the dress she bought was loose enough to hide her beginning baby bump. Her dad supplied a keg and most of her family was drunk by the end of the night.

Lisa and I had a three-day quickie honeymoon and then I got on a plane for Ft. Polk. We decided that Lisa would continue to live at home until I finished training and received a permanent assignment. She also decided not to return to college and went back to working full-time as a ward clerk at the hospital.


Disco Nights Ch. 01



Ft. Polk was a hellhole. It had recently been reactivated as an infantry training post because of Vietnam. Hot, muggy with cockroaches as big as your thumb. But I was working inside in an air-conditioned office, mostly as a glorified clerk-typist and go-fer. My time there went by quickly.

After about six weeks I got orders to report to Germany at the end of my training. I couldn't believe my luck! Most of the guys coming out of AIT were being ordered to 'Nam.

I had a delay in reporting to my new assignment so I was able to spend ten days at home. Lisa was about six months along but still sexy as hell and horny all the time. My plan was to request leave for the birth of the baby as soon as I got to my new unit. Lisa was going to stay with her parents until the last month of her pregnancy and then move to my folk's house. They had a couple of extra bedrooms that could better accommodate her and the baby.

I flew over and was assigned as a maintenance clerk in an armored unit. It was another OJT assignment but looked like it would be easy to learn. We were located on a small base near the East German border. It was the height of the cold war and our unit's primary assignment was to patrol the border which we did about one week out of six.

I spent the next few months mostly trying to stay straight enough not to get into trouble. The hashish available in Germany at that time was the best in the world and cheap. It helped us forget our horniness. If you didn't stay stoned the temptation to visit the legal whorehouses in Wurzburg or Nuremberg was overwhelming.

I flew home a couple of days before Lisa's due date. She was big as a house! She went into labor four days later. The delivery went well and we soon had a beautiful baby girl we named Madelyn. When I first looked at her I could tell my life would never be the same. I hung around for about a week after the birth and enjoyed every minute of it. We made plans for her and the baby to come to Germany as soon as Maddy was old enough to travel.

Everything came together finally and about three months later I was meeting my family at the Frankfurt Airport. Living in Germany as a junior enlisted man with dependents was a struggle. Too junior to be eligible for military housing, we rented an apartment in a little village about ten kilometers from the base. I had bought an old convertible VW beetle whose body was about three different shades of blue and was probably on its fifth or sixth engine.

Our furniture was old beat up rejects from base housing or cast-offs from other soldiers transferring out. We had no television, just a multi-band radio. My pay was just enough to cover basic necessities with a little left over to go to the movies once a month. Gas was cheap so many weekends we would go day tripping through the German countryside.

Our only other entertainment was ourselves. Maddy was a wonder. She was a happy baby almost all the time and she would sleep ten-twelve hours a night. Lisa was a great mom and of course she was with her all day long. But when I got home I would spend almost every minute she was awake playing with her. When she wasn't awake, Lisa and I played with each other.

Our evenings were like the honeymoon we never had. For ten months, interrupted only by the times I had to do a border patrol rotation, we made love nearly every night and in every way possible. I grew to know Lisa's body better than my own. And what a body she had! She had regained her figure quickly after Maddy was born. Her hips were a little fuller, her breasts a little rounder. (But she still complained about how small they were) But not a stretch mark or blemish on her! She could turn on a dead man!

Most times Lisa was as enthusiastic and eager for sex as I was. She loved to tease me until Maddy was asleep. Making love was fantastic. Lisa being multi-orgasmic made sex extraordinary. At least I thought so. Sometimes I would get her off during foreplay, then during oral sex and then a couple of times during vaginal sex. It was such a turn on and inspired me all the more. Some nights we would fall asleep spooning, with me still inside her and then wake up later in the night or in the morning going at it again.

It wasn't just the sex. It seemed like we came to know each other so well we could finish each other's sentences. When we looked at each other we almost always knew what the other was thinking. We never really had a fight, we would disagree at times but never did we get angry. We talked about anything and everything. What we wanted out of life. What we wanted for Maddy. What we wanted to do when we got back home.

We looked out for each other and did our best to make each other happy. The emotional bond we developed convinced me that this was forever. I couldn't imagine being without her. And I was convinced she felt the same way.

With my tour coming to an end I was offered a promotion if I would re-enlist. But we both wanted to go back to the 'world.' Be with family and friends, return to school, start a career, get on with our lives. It was a great experience and I was proud of my service but it was time to move on.

What a relief to be home after being gone for two years. We moved in with my parents for a couple of months until we could get back on our feet. I got a temporary second shift job at the local auto plant and enrolled back into college. Between the VA benefits and work we would do all right. We bought a used car and rented a townhouse and scrounged used furniture from family and friends.

Living with my parents had put a serious crimp in our sex lives. But after getting into our own place things picked back up again. It never really got back to the honeymoon fever we had experienced in Germany but it was still pretty great. Two-three times a week was our usual frequency. We continued to enjoy making love in a variety of ways.

We were always affectionate with each other. We held hands when walking together, touched and caressed each other frequently and often cuddled on the couch watching television. From time to time the subject of having another child would come up but neither one of us seemed to want to commit to it.

We had gotten into the habit of going out to the live rock and roll bars near campus with several other couples about twice a month. Now you have to know, in order for me to dance, it required liberal amounts of alcohol and lots of people dancing around me. So after a few drinks, Lisa would get me out on the dance floor and we would really boogie. Slow dancing didn't bother me. Being able to hold Lisa was my inspiration and made me better than I actually was. But fast dancing I was pretty much a typical white boy, few moves and rhythmically challenged. But Lisa could really shake it. Invariably she was dressed to kill and so hot she could make a grown man cry. After a night out I usually couldn't wait to get her home and in bed.

For the next few years I continued to go to college part-time and worked a variety of jobs. Within a couple of terms I finished my requirements for my associate degree and transferred to Michigan State to work toward a B.A.

I held several temporary second shift jobs in the winter months but during the warm season I mostly worked for several construction firms. Strangely enough I found out I liked the construction jobs the most. Working outside, operating heavy equipment and doing physical labor gave me a lot of satisfaction.

I had met a couple of other veterans at school who were doing about the same thing I was. John and Craig were best friends and had even been the best man in each other's weddings. We were all married and had small kids. We started socializing together along with five or six other couples from time to time. Barbecues, pool parties, chili cookouts, mostly family type get togethers.

Craig was working in a residential construction business owned by his wife's father. And John had worked for several heavy construction companies in the area before and after going in the service. So he knew his way around the construction business. One day he came to me with a proposal.

We both would kick in a couple of thousand dollars and incorporate a construction company. We would be combining his experience and mine, along with my college background in business and accounting. He suggested we do mostly landscaping and maybe some underground work to start. We could sub-contract out to several building contractors including Craig's company.

The thought of working for ourselves had a lot of appeal. And the possibility of making some serious money was attractive. Lisa and I talked it over and we decided to go for it. Lisa had done some childcare out of our home until Maddy was about four and ready for pre-school. She then decided to return to hospital work.

But we were pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. We had moved a couple of times and were now living in a nice duplex. We owned our furniture, a three-year-old car and a 4WD pickup truck. That was pretty much it.

The work was interesting and we were busy about eight months of the year. We would hire four or five guys to work for us on projects as needed. Living in the snow-belt pretty much shut down most dirt type construction projects when the frost got in the ground. But we collected unemployment during the down months and did some 'cash under the table' casual work so we were never hurting too bad. And of course I was still collecting some VA education benefits.

Early on John and I had gotten into the habit of going to happy hour at various bars after work on Friday's to pound down a few. We were usual joined by a bunch of other construction types including Craig. Now John and Craig were pretty hard beer drinkers to the point of being alcoholic. I was usually satisfied with a mild buzz from a couple of mixed drinks.

It also turned out that they both were players when given the opportunity. I was kind of shocked to find out John was regularly banging one of the wives in our social circle. And Craig was having an affair with the sister of one of the guys in our same group. His biggest claim to fame was he had bagged his wife's younger sister the first year of their marriage or so he claimed. They both openly admitted they had hit on about every decent looking female they knew; and quite a few who were not so decent. Frequently after a couple of beers or six, they both would brag openly about their exploits.

I have to admit that those stories got me interested and I wondered what it would be like to get into something strange. Occasionally during those 'Happy Hours' I met, had a few drinks with, or sometimes even danced with other women. But when I compared them with Lisa they just didn't stack up. I just couldn't see taking the risk when I had something better at home. I always looked forward to going home to my wife.

About the time we started the business, disco had finally made its way into the Midwest. Our rock and roll clubs were slowly changing. Lisa embraced the new music whole- heartedly. It fit in with her dance background and she picked up all the new dances easily. By the second year we were in business many of the rock bars were gone and the discos were in. I had gone out with her a couple of times to some of them but I just couldn't get into it.

Not only did I not have the talent for it, I just didn't feel comfortable in that scene. I was a flannel shirt and blue jeans kind of guy, not silk shirts and John Travolta suits. I had been working construction for several years now and at 6'3" I weighed about 230 lbs. I was big but a lot of muscle. Big arms, shoulders and chest. During the off season, I belonged to the local YMCA and played racquetball and lifted weights to stay in shape. I had long hair and a full beard. Lisa said I resembled Paul Bunyan, but Maddy thought I was just one big cuddly bear.

Now Lisa was another story. Being a few years older and more mature had only improved her looks. She could eat anything she wanted and not gain a pound. She loved nice clothes and was a regular clothes horse. She could wear anything and look sexy in it. One of the few things we argued about was how much she spent on her wardrobe. With her appearance, dance talent and personality, she fit right into the disco scene.

Since I had no interest in disco, Lisa had gotten into the habit of going out one night a week with several other girls from the hospital. They would have a few drinks, enjoy the music and maybe dance a little. That finally developed into a routine that on Fridays I would get home from being at happy hour with the guys around seven or eight. She would then leave to meet the girls at one of the clubs for the rest of the evening and I would stay home with Maddy.

About the time Lisa got interested in the disco scene, she got the idea she wanted breast implants. One of our previous neighbors who was around her age had it done and Lisa was fascinated by how it changed her figure. I didn't think it was necessary and argued with her about it. She insisted she felt she was flat-chested and she would look better and feel better about herself if she had it done.

Our insurance would cover the hospitalization but not the surgeon's fee. And it was not an expense we really could afford. But she beat me down and she got it done. The change wasn't huge, probably a 34B to a 34C in cup size. But she did look good with it and she really filled out a bikini. Lisa was more than pleased with the results.

The construction season was over and it was the end of our second full year in the business. I was working from home closing out the books and preparing balance statements, tax forms and W-2's. We had kept busy for eight of the last twelve months, made a profit, paid all our bills and had some cash in the bank.

But when you figured out all the hours John and I put in during the year it seemed we only made about fifty cents an hour. Certainly not the big money I was hoping for.

Lisa and I had been talking about buying a house. We were tired of renting. Maddy was now six and in first grade. And the subject of giving her a brother or sister came up again. Lisa was doing well at the hospital. Changed jobs a couple of times, got promoted and each time getting an increase in pay. Truth be told her salary would probably exceed my combined wage, unemployment and veterans tuition benefits this year. I couldn't help but wonder where our construction business was going. I only needed a few classes to complete my Bachelors degree. Maybe it was time to consider doing something else?

And then, just after the Thanksgiving holidays, I answered that anonymous phone call that changed everything.

As I sat there trying not to be sick all this flashed through my mind. I just kept mumbling to myself, "what the fuck?"

I did not want to accept that there could be something to this. But something told me I had missed something. That something had changed this past year. I shook my head trying to get the fog out. I needed a plan and I needed to be prepared for when he called back. I grabbed a pad of paper and started making a list of questions I needed answers to.

After a bit I just sat there staring at the sheet of paper, hoping that it would just go away.

When the phone rang, it startled me. I grabbed it and said "hello?"

"Are you alone now?"

"Yes."

"Your wife Lisa goes to the 'Extra Point' most Friday nights doesn't she?" The caller asked.

"Yes, she does". I dreaded to hear the next words.

"She has been having an affair down there with a man named Dan Burris for several months now."

Shit, putting a name to him somehow made it more real. "How do you know?"

He laughed, "They don't exactly keep it a secret. Everyone in that crowd knows what's going on."

Damn! Damn! My thoughts kept bouncing between disbelief, anger, panic and denial.

"Why are you telling me this? Are you making this up because you are pissed at this guy? Or did you hit on Lisa and she shut you down?"

He got angry with that, "I'm not making anything up. And never mind why! I just thought you ought to know!"

"Oh sure you do," I thought for a moment. "So when and where is this happening?"

"Most nights they head out to his custom van between eleven and twelve. He's got it set up as a real bedroom on wheels. They don't usually come back to the club."

With a sick feeling I remembered waking up and hearing Lisa come in after two AM a couple of Friday nights and then I went right back to sleep. Later when I asked her about it she just shrugged and said she stayed for the last set the band played.

"How long has this been going on?"

"I heard it had started about mid-summer, maybe earlier."

"Is this Dan married?"

"Yep, but he says his old lady doesn't care."

"They get together any other times or places?"

"A couple of times they didn't stay in the parking lot after they left the club. I heard him say they went to his house one time and he said they met for lunch a few times," he paused for a second and said, "then there was the sailing weekend they had."

"Sailing weekend? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I guess one weekend last August, Dan, Lisa and two other couples went out on a big sailboat on Lake Michigan. I heard they had quite a time."

Shit! It was like a big puzzle. One piece would fall into place making a fit for several others.

My Mom and Dad had asked me to come up to their lake cottage last August and help build a deck. Lisa's department had to cover Sundays at the hospital so usually one Sunday out of the month she had to work. That weekend happened to fall on her Sunday.

I left Friday night and took Maddy with me. Mom and Dad never missed a chance to see one their grandkids. Lisa said she thought she would go to the beach at Grand Haven on Saturday with Connie, one of her friends from the hospital. In fact she said she just might decide to stay the night with her and leave from her house to go to work on Sunday morning.

"I can't believe that! Lisa is scared to be on the water. She can barely stand to set foot on a pontoon boat!"

"Maybe they never left the marina. But whatever they did, I heard it was a hell of a party."

The implications of this story started to sink in. If it was true then Lisa had actually lied to me! And if she had lied about this, what else had she lied about?

"Where does this Dan Burris live?"

"Oh no, I'm not going to be responsible for you doing something stupid! Besides he's listed in the phone book."

"What does he look like?"

"He's about 6'1" or 6'2." Probably about 180 lbs. He's 32, has blond hair, combed back. Good physical condition, good dancer, decent looking guy, quite a smooth operator and makes a lot of money."

"Anything else you know about them?"

"Well from what I heard I have the feeling he isn't the first that got his fingers into her pie! She's pretty popular down there but Dan monopolizes her time now. And she's not the first he has gotten into his van that's for sure. But she is the first that he has ever talked about like he was in love with her."

Shit, he is talking about my wife! I wanted to puke!

Angrily I said, "I can't believe this. Lisa isn't like that!"

"Hey man, I'm sorry about this but if it was me I would want to know!" And he actually said it with some sympathy, which just made me feel worse.

"Yeah, right" and I slammed the phone down.

I don't know how long I sat there but the next thing I knew Maddy was coming in the door from school. I pulled myself out of my funk long enough to give her a desperate hug and admire the schoolwork she had brought home. Eventually I got her settled down with a snack and some cartoons on television. As I watched her I felt my eyes tear up as I thought about what might happen to us. Is it possible that Lisa could be involved in something like this?




Disco Nights Ch. 01



Lisa would be home in a couple of hours. As I started dinner I kept going over that conversation in my mind. The caller knew too many details to be discounted. I decided I did not want a confrontation yet. Part of it was fear of the unknown. Part of it was still hoping and praying this was all a misunderstanding. But whatever it was I needed to know the truth.

As I thought about the call I started thinking about what had changed in the last year or so. Lisa had always been something of a flirt. She would talk to anyone and she wasn't shy. She enjoyed dirty jokes as much as anybody we knew. I know she got a kick out of the attention she got from other men. We had talked and laughed about it several times. I never believed anything could come of it.

When I was out drinking with the guys, sometime during the evening the topic of sex would always come up. Lisa was probably one of the best looking women in our social circle. A couple of times when the guys were half bagged I heard hints and rumors about her flirtatious ways and thinly veiled references to her fooling around. I always attributed those comments to alcohol and envy. Could it be there was more to it?

Another thing that I had noticed was when Lisa first started going out with the girls to the clubs she would always be home before midnight. Sometimes I would still be awake and she would want to make love. Sometimes she would even wake me. If we didn't make love when she got home then we would first thing in the morning for sure.

But when she started coming home later and later that all stopped, we never made love on Saturdays anymore. Sunday became the norm. The fact is she rarely made it out of bed before eleven on Saturday unless I was working and she had to watch Maddy.

Another thing I had noticed this past year was Lisa seemed to exude more self-confidence than she had ever before. Maybe it was her improved figure, or the way she dressed more professionally to fit her latest job promotion. And she didn't seem to care about going up to Mom and Dad's cabin as much as she used to. I had the feeling she had less interest in what I was doing and how the construction business was going.

One thing I did while waiting for Lisa to get home was go to the phone book and look up 'Dan Burris'. I found a Daniel and Patricia Burris listed in Grand Ledge, a nearby well-to-do suburb. Seeing it gave me another chill. I wrote down their number and address and collected all the notes from the phone call and put them in my briefcase. I put my game face on and tried to act as if nothing unusual had happened that day.

Somehow I got through the evening. Lisa was as affectionate as ever. Kissing me as she came in the door, slipping me a little tongue and grabbing my butt. I kept looking at her to see if I could see something different but there was nothing. She chattered on about her day at the hospital and the upcoming Christmas party our friends were having. She talked, laughed, and played with Maddy. Maddy wanted to put the Christmas tree up and we kept trying to convince her it was too early yet. Later that night I just lay awake in bed trying to forget. Lisa cuddled up to me like she usually does and went right to sleep.

The next morning after Maddy left for school and Lisa for work, I got my out my notes. I reviewed everything that was said and everything I had remembered. I decided I needed to do a search of the house for clues. I went through Lisa's closet and dresser drawers. I went through our storage boxes in the basement.

I looked at our old charge account bills, telephone bills and checking account statements. Nothing stood out. I looked through our correspondence drawer, loose note cards, miscellaneous bits and pieces of paper, again nothing.

I got out our address book that we kept and starting going through it. I didn't find anything until I got to the Z's. Like most people, we didn't know anyone whose last name started with a 'Z'. The second blank page after 'Z' I found a half dozen pencil entries in Lisa's writing that were just initials followed by one or two phone numbers.

One of the entries was D.B. and the first number matched Dan Burris's number listed in the phone book! I felt like I had just been punched in the gut. I just sat there staring at the page.

At first I got angry. Then I just got sad and depressed. As inconceivable as it seemed, I had to accept the fact that my wife had a secret life that I had no idea existed. A life that probably included behavior that was in direct conflict with our marriage vows. And she thought so little of me that she actually wrote the evidence in our address book!

I had to believe the story my unknown caller had told me was mostly true. And if it was true, could I put it behind me? Would I be able to forgive her? With a sinking feeling I didn't think we could put the genie back in the bottle. What about Maddy? Whatever happened she would be the most affected.

With what I now had, I figured I could find out the 'who, what and where.' But why, could only be discovered by direct confrontation with Lisa. I had three days left before she went out again on Friday. I needed to get as many answers as possible before then. I had to know my options. And I had to be prepared to make a decision and follow through with it. I couldn't let this drag on. It was eating me up inside.

I had a high school buddy who completed law school. He was clerking for a local judge waiting to take the Bar exam. I gave him a call and he gave me a referral to a divorce attorney who would give me a free consultation. I set up an appointment for Friday morning.

I started calling the numbers I found in our address book to try to figure out all the players. It was easy to pretend to be a wrong number or a sales solicitor. I was right about the second number under D.B. It was the number for a business machines service company. From what I got out of the receptionist Dan was a sales rep. The other names associated with the numbers were not familiar to me except for C.M. Turned out it was her friend Connie from the hospital.

That evening I told Lisa I had to visit a job site we were going to bid on and would be gone for a couple of hours. I drove to the Burris address and parked a few houses down. It was in an upscale residential neighborhood. There was one car in the driveway when I arrived, a recent model BMW. About twenty minutes later a maroon custom Chevy Van pulled in. A well dressed man got out who fit the description of Dan Harris and walked into the house. I could now put a face with the name. I drove slowly by and wrote down the license plate number.

Getting through the rest of the week was tough. I avoided going to bed when Lisa did. The thought of making love to her was depressing. Lisa sensed I was stressed over something and she kept asking me if something was wrong. I told her I was feeling some pressure to get all the end of year tax forms done early. And some of the accounts didn't balance. She accepted my story without comment. Fact was the IRS, and John, my partner, could care less as long as everything was filed by April 15th. I spent as much time with Maddy as I could. I was afraid of the changes the future was going to bring.

Thursday evening during dinner, Lisa casually said "Are you going out for happy hour on Friday as usual?"

On the spur of the moment, I said, "I don't know, for some reason I just don't feel like it this week. Why don't we skip this Friday and do something together? Maybe the three of us could go somewhere."

Without missing a beat she said, "Why honey, it is kind of late to change plans. I promised Connie I would meet her at the club. She is bringing a girlfriend she wants me to meet who is interested in a position we have open at the hospital."

I just sat there and felt so sad. She had fallen to this. Making up stories so as not to miss out of meeting her lover. My feelings must have shown on my face.

"Oh Alan, we can do something together on Saturday or Sunday. It's not the end of the world!" She said with a little laugh.

I smiled and said, "You're right. It's not the end of the world." Not the end of the world, but maybe the end of our marriage.

On Friday morning I met with the attorney and explained my situation as I saw it. I needed to know what my legal options were. His first question was is reconciliation possible? My answer was that it was possible but it would all depend on what came out of the coming confrontation. He explained that we lived in a no-fault state. This meant that the reasons for the divorce were immaterial in order to have a divorce granted.

The reasons could matter when it came to matters of property division, alimony and child custody. Given the fact that Lisa's income was equal to, or greater than mine, spousal support should not be an issue. Since our assets were minimal, division of property should not be an issue.

As far as custody, if the divorce went forward I wanted joint custody of Maddy. In case Lisa wanted to contest it, proof of adultery or her unfitness as a mother would probably discourage any such action on her part. I told the lawyer I thought I could come up with something.

As I sat at home that afternoon I found myself wishing I could confide in someone. Someone who could reassure me I was not over reacting. That this was as bad as I felt it was. I was too ashamed and embarrassed to tell anyone in my family. I thought about John and Craig. But with their history towards fidelity I wasn't likely to get any good advice from them. And besides I couldn't trust them to keep their mouths shut after a couple of beers.

I had set my plans in motion for the evening so after finishing up some more business paperwork I went out to the bar for happy hour. My head really wasn't in it and after one drink I switched to ginger ale and just sat back and watched everything going on around me. The view was depressing. Is this what I have to look forward to? Hanging out in bars looking for companionship? Marriage had been good to me, it had made me happy. At least I thought it had been good to me. Turns out I was clueless.

I finally gave up in disgust and left for home. I pulled in before seven and Maddy met me at the door by jumping into my arms and giving me a big kiss. "Daddy, daddy, you're home!"

Lisa came out of the bedroom dressed but still putting her makeup on. She looked at me closely like she was trying to judge my sobriety. "I fed Maddy supper. There are leftovers on the stove. I am meeting Connie for dinner before we go to the club." I just grunted at her and made my way into the kitchen. Maddy chattered away about school and showed me some artwork she had made while I warmed up something to eat.

As I sat there with Maddy, Lisa came in with her coat on looking wonderful as usual. She made my heart ache just looking at her, thinking about what she was doing to us. She gave us both a kiss and said, "You two have fun tonight, love you both." Maddy said, "I love you Mommy." I just said, "Bye." I wanted to ask her not to go again but it would have been pointless. Lisa stopped at the door for a second and looked at me strangely like she wanted to say something. Then she opened the door and stepped out.

I waited about fifteen minutes after listening to her car drive away and I got up and called the babysitter I had arranged earlier. I told her to come on over in about twenty minutes. Then I sat down with Missy and said "How would you like Carol to come and stay with you for awhile"? Maddy loved Carol and she was all for it. "You have to be a good girl for her and go to bed when she tells you, okay?" Maddy nodded enthusiastically.

I went into the bathroom and got out my shaving gear. I started shaving off my beard and mustache. Where I was going tonight I didn't want to be recognized. Maddy came in and looked at me. "Daddy what are you doing to your face?"

"I'm making it all smooth like it was before you came along sweetheart. Don't you like it?" I grew the beard right after getting out of the Army and she didn't remember me without it.

"I think I do," but she sounded uncertain. My hair was still long but I combed it back and away from face.

I gathered up some things I needed and as soon as Carol came in I said I had to leave but would be home between eleven and one. I gave Maddy a kiss and a hug and left. I drove over to my brother's house to trade vehicles. He had asked a few weeks ago if he could borrow the pickup sometime to move some stuff. A couple of days before I told him he could have it this Friday night if he was willing to let me use his car. It worked out for both of us.

He is also something of an amateur photographer and I had asked him if I could borrow his camera and a zoom lens with film that would work in lowlight conditions. He questioned me about what I was going to shoot but I just told him I would tell him about it later if it worked out. He set it up and gave me some pointers and off I went.

Snow flurries were coming down as I pulled into the club parking lot about eight thirty. I cruised through it until I came across her car all the way in the back in a dark corner. I didn't see the maroon van so I thought maybe they were still at dinner. I hoped they hadn't decided to go somewhere else. I parked where I could get a good view out my side window and waited. About thirty minutes later the van pulled in with another car close behind. They both parked close to Lisa's car.

Lisa and Dan got out of the van and another couple got out of the car. I didn't know the other man but I recognized the woman as Connie. Lisa had introduced me to her a couple of times. She was a cute blond, divorced and a couple of years younger than us. Lisa and Dan walked hand in hand, laughing and talking and looking at each other with obvious affection. I got a couple of photos as they walked by me towards the entrance. Watching them reinforced the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I waited a few minutes and got out of the car. I had dressed differently than I usually did, khaki pants and a dress shirt. I put on a long dark rain coat with the collar pulled up and a Panama hat. I figured if I kept my head down the brim would hid my face. The disco crowd tended to dress pretty eclectic so I thought I would not stand out if I stayed in the shadows. I slung the camera around my neck and hid it under the coat.

I walked to the entrance and paid the cover. I went right to the bar glancing under the brim of my hat just enough to find my way. I bought a coke and starting looking around. I figured if they came for the dancing they would be near the dance floor and the deejay. I spotted them up front. They had put a couple of tables together and were sitting with six or eight others.

I made my way around the back of the crowded bar staying against the wall as much as possible. I found a table with a single bar stool against the wall about thirty feet behind them. It gave me a good view of their table and the floor. I needn't have worried about being recognized. The only light in the club was around the dance floor and the bar, which made it almost impossible for anyone else to be seen from a distance.

It was apparent that they all knew each other, the women were hugging and kissing each other's cheeks and the guys were laughing and joking around. Connie was the only person I recognized other than Lisa and Dan. I wondered if my whistle-blower was one of this crowd. The music was playing and most of the group paired up and moved out on the floor.

For the next three hours I watched Lisa with her lover. It was obvious within the first hour that 'lovers' described their relationship. They danced; they kissed, and held each other. They whispered in each other's ears. They danced together like they had been partners forever.

God knows how many hours they must have practiced the fast ones. The slow dances they melted into each others arms like they were one. I saw Lisa look into his eyes like she once looked into my eyes; at the end of the dance she would kiss him slowly and tenderly like she once kissed me. I just sat there all choked up, continually wiping the tears from my eyes.

When they sat at the table, he would have his hand on her leg and she would have her hand on the back of his head, slowing stroking his hair, her wedding rings glittering in the light, mocking me. When she stroked my hair like that I would get an instant erection which always amused her.

As the evening progressed they became more and more affectionate and I knew how it was going to end. He would occasionally caress her breast or ass when he thought no one was looking, and Lisa would tease him by rubbing his bulge or blowing into his ear. Then they would sit back and talk very earnestly almost touching nose to nose. They were in their own private world, sharing their own intimate thoughts.

After three hours I was emotionally exhausted. I had intended to follow them out to his van and witness the end of the evening but I couldn't stand anymore. I had my answer and it made me bitter. This wasn't just a physical relationship but a close emotional one as well.

What I thought we had, what I thought we shared only with each other, she had given freely to him. She had already left me. I knew there could be no satisfactory explanation, no satisfactory solution to this.

I had seen enough. And I had covertly taken enough pictures to prove to myself later, or anyone else for that matter, that it wasn't my imagination.

I took a sheet of paper out of my pocket and wrote in my bold printing that she would instantly recognize:





Disco Nights Ch. 02



This story was inspired by a real event that occurred in the late 70s. A time before HIV, Cell Phones, DNA testing or the Internet. Vietnam, the Cold War and the Draft were the topics of the day. Disco ruled. It is a story about love, infidelity, consequences and sacrifice. The names and details have been changed to protect the guilty. There is very little sex in this story. 

*

As I drove home I could barely see through the tears in my eyes. This was the saddest day of my life. Everything I had believed in was shattered. Lisa had been everything I needed, and once upon a time I was everything Lisa needed. 

Why had that changed? Was it all just a fairytale? Were the signs always there and I was just too complacent, to wrapped up in my own world to see them?

I got home before midnight. I paid off Carol, thanked her and sent her on home. I looked in on Maddy and again marveled on how beautiful, how special she was. I tried not to think what the next few days or weeks would bring. The phone started to ring. I unplugged all of them, dead-bolted the doors and went to bed. I was so exhausted I fell instantly asleep.

Amazingly I slept about seven hours and felt better than I deserved. Maddy would probably sleep at least another hour so I started on my preparations. I knew that I was in for another exhausting day.

Around noon I plugged the phone back in. Within minutes the phone rang. When I picked it up I heard Lisa, voice shaking, "Can I come home now?" 

I answered, "The door is unlocked" and hung up. I started thinking about what was coming and knew the only way I could get through it was to harden my heart, let my anger out and demand answers. Since the day I met Lisa I had never raised my voice to her and never felt anything other than love toward her.

About twenty minutes later she came in the front door. From where I was sitting in the kitchen I could watch her. She looked around nervously like she hoped to see Maddy. Finally she slowly walked through the living room, dropping her coat on a chair. 

She saw me at the dining room table where I often worked, with my briefcase and business files in front of me. We both looked at each other for a few minutes and finally I said, "Sit."

She dropped into a chair and said, "Where's Maddy?" 

"She's at my Mom and Dad's. They are keeping her tonight." She slowly nodded. 

She looked closely at my face, "First time I've seen you clean shaven in years." 

"It was time," I simply said. 

Lisa looked haggard like she had not slept. Her makeup was all washed off and her eyes were red and swollen, "Whose car is in the driveway?" 

"My brother's, he is using the truck to help someone move this weekend."

Small talk exhausted, we sat silent for a few minutes. Lisa was having trouble looking me in the eye. Finally she cleared her throat and said, "Alan, what you think you saw last night wasn't what it seemed." 

I just stared at her in disbelief! She was actually going to try to lie her way out of this, "I see." I pulled out our address book from under some papers and flipped it open to the 'Z's' and held it open in front of her.

I pointed to the initials she had put there, "Jerry Drew is a stock broker, Sharon Hughes is a real estate agent and Steve Ostrander owns his own automotive services company. Don't you think a reputation for honesty is important to them? Do you think any of them would lie for you if subpoenaed to give a deposition under oath in a divorce action?"

The shock on her face dissolved into tears as she put her hands over her face and leaned over the table, "Oh god, oh god, no!"

"I was there from the time you arrived at the club until the minute you read my note. I know where you were going from there and I know who with. I just didn't have the heart to follow the two of you out to his van."

I watched her shaking her head in disbelief. "Lisa, I want the truth from you, all of it. From the beginning of our marriage until now! If you try to lie to me I will know. A lot of things have become clear to me this week and I want to know everything!" I was practically yelling in her face as I finished. 

Lisa shrunk into her chair and turned away from me. She started to get up but I grabbed her by the wrists, "Sit down! You are not going to run away from this, or from me!"

She collapsed back into the chair and covered her face with her hands refusing to look at me. I got up and poured some vodka and tomato juice into a glass and put it front of her. I wanted her to talk and talk freely. I knew she didn't handle confrontations well. That, combined with the emotional shock and a little vodka I hoped would help get at the truth. 

After a while she put her hands down and looked at me pleadingly, "Alan, please. I love you." She closed her eyes and shook her head side to side, "God, I never thought this would happen!" 

"What? That you would screw around on me or that you would get caught? I think I know which one it is!" She started sobbing again. I waited a bit. Finally I said, "Tell me about Dan Burris."

She started to dry her eyes and took a drink. Almost whispering she said, "I met Dan at the club. He was one of the guys in the gang we always sat with. We danced quite a bit together and just kind of hit it off."

"That is certainly an understatement!" I said harshly. "And when did you start fucking him?"

She cringed when I said that. She turned away from me and said slowly, "We…. we started sleeping together around June. He's married, no kids. He is older than us. He and his wife have an open marriage."

"And I bet you just happened to forget to tell him that we 'did not' have an open marriage. Didn't you?" 

Lisa didn't say anything. "Come on Lisa, you are leaving out a few things aren't you? He makes a lot of money. He wears expensive clothes. He and his wife drive expensive cars and live in a very expensive house."

She looked at me in shock, "How…. how did you know?"

"I have been doing my homework. That's a high roller crowd you have taken up with, quite a different lifestyle than ours, or at least from mine."

She gulped down some more of the drink and I got up and got her a refill. "Tell me, where did this 'sleeping' occur and how often?"

She looked down at her hands. She started talking so low I had to strain to hear her. "Usually every Friday after leaving the club we would go to his van and, uh ..." She sat silent.

"What? You can't describe it? Screwing? Humping? Fucking? Or even making love?" "After watching the two of you all evening it was obvious you are lovers!" Bitterly I said, "Anyway, it's a little late for you to try to spare my feelings!"

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, "What do you want me to say Alan?" 

"I want you to say 'I'm sorry!' or 'it was a mistake!'" I shouted. "But an affair that has lasted nearly six months is not a mistake, is it? And the only thing you are sorry for is that you got caught!"

She started crying again and didn't say anything.

"Where else did you go? His house? Our house? Hotels, motels?" 

She wiped her nose and took another drink, "We went to his house once, a motel a couple of times, but never our house." 

"His house and his bed?" I asked. She just nodded. "So where was Mrs. Dan?"

"She was out of town for the weekend."

"What else Lisa? Come on, don't be shy! I'm sure there's more." 

She sat silently for a few minutes, nervously gripping her glass and staring into it.

"We would meet for lunch once in a while. No sex, just lunch." 

Quietly I said, "Anything else?" She shook her head no.

Slamming my fist on the table I said, "Aren't you forgetting your big sailing weekend!"

I didn't think it was possible for Lisa to turn any paler, she had to be on the verge of passing out. I grabbed her as she started to slump to the floor. Recovering she took a pull from her drink, hung her head in her hands and started crying again. Finally she gasped out, "How…. how do you know these things?" 

Shaking my head, I said, "Lisa, don't you get it? You are busted! You were ratted out! There are no secrets left."

"Now tell me about the weekend you were too busy working to go up north with your husband and daughter."

Shuddering she hugged herself with both arms, "Dan has a friend who owns a sailboat he keeps over in Saugatuck. He invited Dan and I, and Connie and a guy she's been seeing to go sailing over the weekend. You were already planning to work at your parent's so I told you I had to work so I could go and you would take Maddy with you."

I just looked at her disgustedly, "I guess it no longer bothered you to outright lie to me. And how ironic, you practically refuse to set foot on a rowboat on a tiny lake where Mom and Dad have their cottage but you are willing to spend a weekend on Lake Michigan sailing!"

Not looking up she said, "We…. we really didn't sail much. The water was calm and we took the boat down the coast a bit and anchored about a half mile from the shore. And I had a few drinks which helped me relax."

I just stared at her, "So tell me what you did anchored offshore with all that privacy and all that relaxing? Did you run around the boat naked and have wicked sex with anyone and everyone?"

Practically stuttering she said "We… we did sunbathe nude. But I only had sex with Dan in the cabin a couple of times." She paused for a minute, and I just stared at her, waiting, "And then later when Dan and I stayed the night on the boat in the marina." Then closing her eyes, "And then when we took the boat out again on Sunday." 

I felt a sharp pain in my gut as it came back to me that we did not make love that Sunday night when I got back home. In fact Lisa went to bed early, claiming she didn't feel well. The only time I can remember of missing a weekend when she wasn't having her period. Now I knew why. 

Sarcastically I said, "Wow, you had quite a sex filled weekend! You just had nothing left to give when your poor clueless husband came home after being away from his loving wife for three days!"

Lisa didn't say anything just starting crying again and shaking her head.

We just sat there awhile, Lisa sobbing quietly, and I lost in my thoughts. I finally got up and refilled her glass and put it in front of her. I didn't have to force myself to be angry anymore. I was angry. 

Lisa looked up at me tiredly, "Please, please I need to go lie down." Lisa's voice shook and her hands could barely hold the glass to her lips. She was starting to slur her words a bit and I knew exhaustion and alcohol were affecting her.

I glared at her, "Not yet Lisa, we are not done here!" 

Crying she said, "Please! I've told you everything."

"Somehow I don't think so. It's occurred to me to wonder how it is that you were able to so easily slip into a long term affair and keep it hidden. No change in your behavior, no change in your attitude toward me." I paused then said, "Could it be it was because this wasn't your first affair? That you have cheated on me before?"

Lisa looked at me with her mouth open, trying to say something. Then she closed it and looked away and tried to talk again. It was obvious she was trying to figure out what she could get away with and in her condition she was having a tough time of it.

I shook my head, "Lisa, don't try to lie to me again! It won't work. Other people have been telling me things about you for years and I didn't believe them. I refused to believe them. Not my loving wife. I want to know everything. And I want to know now!"

Lisa slumped back into the chair, her eyes dull and half shut. Exhaustion and defeat were written all over her face and posture. 

In a monotone, she said, "Before Dan, I had hooked up with another guy down at the club. Only a couple of times and then he stopped coming down there."

I kind of figured as much from what the caller said but I wasn't interested in that. I said flatly, "Before that Lisa." 

Lisa shut her eyes and sobbed once, "The year before you started the business I messed around with a couple of guys when you were working nights at the assembly plant."

"And they were?" She opened her eyes and whispered, "You know don't you?"

I gritted my teeth and said, "Say it!"

She said, "John and Craig."

I could almost feel the 'clunk' as that piece of the puzzle fell into place. The suspicion had been in the back my mind the last couple of days. Lisa was probably the best looking woman in our social circle. And if John and Craig had hit on every good looking woman that they knew, why had they not hit on her? 

Of course the answer was they had. But Lisa had never mentioned it. She would have if they had been unsuccessful or if she had been upset about it. And of course John and Craig wouldn't tell me. But they hinted at it after having a few too many beers. And I was too trusting to take them seriously.

Not only had my wife betrayed me. She had betrayed me with the two people that I thought of as probably my best friends. And one of them also happened to be my business partner! 

Sarcastically I said, "Did you do them together or one at a time?"

She just stared in front of her, eyes focused on nothing, "You remember that time when Craig was stopped by the cop a mile from here for DUI? The cop let him off because he said he was going to his girlfriend's house just a few blocks away."

I just grunted. I knew what was coming.

"He came in and we had a couple of drinks. Maddy had been asleep for several hours. The cop followed him over here and wouldn't leave. He just sat in his car in front of the driveway. Craig suggested we turn off all the lights and act like we had gone to bed. So we did. When we went into the bedroom we started making out." Her voice dropped, "You know what happened next."

"Yeah, I know. Craig has told the story about the cop several times with a very different ending. At least it is when I'm in the crowd." 

After a few minutes of silence I said, "And John?"

"A couple of weeks later John showed up on a Friday night after happy hour. He was pretty loaded. We sat on the couch, watched TV and had a few drinks. He started feeling me up and kissing me. He said he wanted me. I was having my period and told him that. He put my hand on his hard-on and told me he was really horny. I don't know why but I told him I would give him a blow job."

I just stared at her in disbelief, "Let me guess! A come-in-your-mouth blow job, wasn't it?"

Her head jerked up and her mouth hung open. Finally she sputtered, "He, he was supposed to warn me!" Realizing how absurd that sounded, she looked away from me and hung her head. Not only was it turning out my wife was a slut, but she was a dumb slut!

"Yeah, John loves to tell that story in the bar after a few beers. Except in the version I heard the recipient of his cum is Debbie Dawson." It was little consolation to me that Debbie's husband Dave was probably as clueless as I was.

I was sure Craig had told John he had gotten into Lisa's pants and she was easy. There were no secrets between those two. And of course John had beat feet to our door knowing I was working nights.

Lisa was crying continuously now and rocking back and forth mumbling incoherently. 

"Lisa, Lisa!" I had to shout at her to get her attention, "Look at me. How many times did you screw around with them?" 

Without looking up, she said, "Craig, he, he came around a couple of times after that. But then you started telling me what players they were and talked about everything they did. I got scared and I told both of them not to come over anymore."

Now I was really wondering if at any time in our marriage she had been faithful to me. I sat there thinking about it. Taking a shot in the dark, I said softly, "And when I was in the Army? Tell me about that Lisa?"

Looking at me blearily she said, "Alan, please. Don't make me."

"Tell me Lisa, tell me now!"

I could see her withdraw into herself, not able to resist anymore. "Once when you were on border patrol for the week, Ken Machado came over to take some pictures of Maddy. He had some hash with him. After Maddy went down for the night, he talked me into trying it." She looked up at me in desperation, "Alan, we had been having sex every night since I got there. You had been gone four or five days and I was horny. After smoking the hash I just lost control!" 

Ken Machado was a soldier in a different unit we had met when we first got to Germany. He and his wife had a baby boy about Maddy's age. We got together a few times for dinner and play dates for the kids before his wife went back to the states. I heard they were having problems at the time she left. Now I knew why.

"And after that?" I said quietly.

"He would come over once or twice every time you did your rotation to the border. I never smoked the hash again but we, we kept having sex."

"Well that certainly explains why he still calls a couple of times a year to invite us to visit him in New Orleans." I said sarcastically.

Lisa collapsed on her arms on the table and sobbed over and over again. I just looked at her. I was sure there was more but I didn't think she could talk coherently. And to be honest I don't think I could stand to listen to it. After awhile Lisa stopped crying and wasn't moving anymore. I think she was asleep.

I just sat there dazed and lost in my thoughts. Finally I got up and shook her arm. I said, "Lisa, get up! Get up and go get cleaned up!" She finally roused herself, pulled herself out of the chair and without looking at me staggered down the hallway into the bathroom.

As I heard the water in the shower turn on, I reached into my briefcase and turned off the recorder. As it sunk in what I had heard, I jumped out of chair, threw open the sliding glass door, dropped to my knees and puked into the snow. 

Wiping my lips with the back of my hand, I shut the door, slumped against the wall and closed my eyes. The things she had told me were far worse than I had ever imagined. What happened to the woman I thought I married? 

As I sat there thinking about the past six years, I felt so stupid. I wondered how I ever got through a day. God, what a chump I'd been! My wife was not my wife and my friends were not my friends. I knew I there was no getting past this and that my entire life was going to change.

While I sat there thinking I heard the shower stop and Lisa go into the bedroom. Finally I pulled myself to my feet and walked down the hallway. Lisa was collapsed across the bed on her stomach naked, sound asleep. 

A week ago the sight would have aroused me and I would have jumped in bed with her in a second. I admired her long legs and a few pubic hairs peeking out from between the cheeks of her ass. But the realization that I was just one of many she shared herself with made me turn away with disgust.

I walked back into the living room and threw myself on the couch. Within minutes I was asleep.

When I woke up a couple of hours later all was quiet. I got up and fixed myself something to eat. I was just finishing a sandwich when I heard Lisa get up and go into the bathroom. A few minutes later she appeared in the kitchen in her bathrobe. She looked at me with desperation. "Alan, please I love you. I always have." 

Without emotion I said, "Then why, Lisa?" I asked. "You have hurt me in the worst possible way. I don't believe anyone could hate me enough to hurt me like this. How can you still say you love me?"

"I don't know, Alan. I don't understand it myself. It just never seemed really wrong to me. I guess I liked it when men paid attention to me. And when I was doing it, it was like I was someone else, just Lisa, not Lisa Baxter. And you never found out. And it didn't seem to hurt anyone. And it never changed how I felt about you, about us." 




Disco Nights Ch. 02



Wanting to hurt her I said harshly, "You know what a married woman is called who sleeps with other men?" She just looked at me blankly, "A slut!"

Lisa paled and put her hands in front of her face. "Not only a slut but a slut who screwed my best friends and my business partner!" 

"Please Alan, don't say that. That happened almost two years ago and I regretted it"

"So, that was then and this was now? That's your excuse for John and Craig? What about Dan Burris? Do you regret that relationship too?"

Lisa looked down at the table and whispered, "It was more than just sex with Dan. We… we are friends. Please Alan. Dan and I share a lot, music, dancing, things you were not part of and didn't seem to care about."

I just stared at her in disbelief, "That's your reason for betraying me and our marriage vows? Of course by the time you met Dan the point was moot." I drummed my fingers on the table thinking about what she had just said. "You want to continue your relationship with him? Is that what you are saying?" She didn't say anything just kept staring at the table. "And you think I should just sit back and accept it?" 

Finally, she looked up at me hopefully, "Listen Alan, we could have an open marriage too, an open marriage like Dan and his wife. We would still have each other but we both could see other people!"

My God! This was just so surreal. "And whose idea was this?" I said slowly.

Again she wouldn't look at me, "Dan and I talked about it a couple of times but it never seemed to be the right time to bring it up."

I couldn't help myself then, I started shouting, "You have been screwing around on me for our entire marriage and when you get busted your solution is to turn me into a cheater too! 

If that is what you wanted you should have told me before the very first time you fucked up! Then I could have made my own decision about what kind of marriage I wanted and how I wanted to live my life!"

Lisa just sat there shaking her head, tears running down her face. 

I slumped back into my chair, "Everything that I believed to be true about you and our relationship has been destroyed. Everything I thought I learned over the last six years took just six days to be exposed as a lie! Either you have been incredibly clever or I have been incredibly stupid." I said in disgust. I suspected I knew which one it was.

I shook my head and sat up straight. "Lisa, you made the choices, but all of us will face the consequences, you, me, and Maddy. But you were too busy taking care of yourself to think about us weren't you? It was all about you."

"No, no, it wasn't like that," Lisa whimpered.

"Lisa, I don't know who you are. I still love the women I thought I married." I shook my head. "But maybe she existed only in my mind. I certainly don't love the women you have become."

We sat in silence for a few minutes as I gathered my thoughts and the courage to say what I had to say next.

"I intend to file for divorce. I have consulted an attorney. There should not be any issues on division of property or with alimony. I intend to file for joint custody. If you contest it, I will drag out everything you have done for the last six years for everyone to see. At the very least you have proven yourself not to be a fit role model for our daughter."

Lisa collapsed into the chair, crying. I just sat there staring at the wall, lost in my own thoughts, thinking about the last six years. Where we were going now and how everything was going to change. I had been in my comfort zone for too long. I had forgotten the first lesson in life, nothing stays the same.

I waited for Lisa to get herself together. Her crying finally slowed and I looked at her, "This can happen one of two ways Lisa."

She looked up at me in despair. 

"I can walk out that door tonight and ask my parents to let me stay with them for awhile. Of course I would have to tell them everything. And tomorrow one of us would have to tell Maddy I no longer live here."

Lisa shuddered when I said that.

"The other option is to wait until after the holidays. It is three weeks until Christmas. We can give our daughter as normal a Christmas as we can make it. It gives us some time to prepare her for what is going to happen. And we can try to keep this from your family and mine until after the New Year."

I saw some hope come into Lisa's eyes. I knew she was thinking if she could delay my leaving anything could happen. I decided not to disabuse her of the notion for now.

"Please stay Alan. I don't want you to leave!" 

"That decision has been made. The only question is when."

Lisa looked away from me and whispered, "Please, please let's wait until after the holidays." 

With that decided, I had a bad taste in my mouth and an overwhelming desire to get away. I didn't want to look at her anymore and I certainly didn't want to talk to her.

Abruptly I stood up, "That's settled then. I am going out. I won't be home until late."

Without a backward glance I went to the closet, got my coat and walked out the door. 

I drove to the mall and wandered around awhile. I finally ducked into the movie theatre to kill a few hours and to occupy my mind. When it was over I couldn't tell you what I watched. I decided to stop at a bar for awhile to consider my next steps. 

As I sat there eating a greasy hamburger and fries, I decided the first thing I had to do was to quit eating like this and take better care of myself. After that, end my marriage and get out of the construction business. And finishing school would now get a higher priority.

I got home after midnight and the house was dark. Going down the hallway I could her Lisa in our bedroom tossing and turning. No way was I going to sleep with her anymore. I would use Maddy's bed tonight and tomorrow set something else up.

I woke up early and just stared at the ceiling in Maddy's room. With a pang I remembered Sunday mornings Lisa and I usually made love. Shaking my head I started going over the things in my mind I needed to accomplish. Finally with a groan I hauled myself out of bed and into the bathroom.

After cleaning up and getting dressed I sat down at the kitchen table to finish my paperwork. I figured I needed about six more hours to finish it all. Then I would call John and arrange to bring it over to him on Monday. Lisa got up and wandered into the kitchen. I simply ignored her and continued to work while she got some breakfast and sat down across from me.

Finally she said, "Where did you go last night?" 

I shrugged, "Does it matter?" 

She asked, "Where did you sleep?" 

"In Maddy's room. Today I will set up that extra twin bed in the basement. I will move my clothes and my dresser down there. I will sleep in the basement until I move out. That would be best for both of us."

Lisa just looked down at her cereal, got up and went back to the bedroom and closed the door. She didn't come out for the rest of the morning.

Later that day I set up the bed, moved my clothes and other stuff I needed downstairs. I cleaned up the basement and tried to make it somewhat livable. We had an old area rug and a beat up old television that I set up. I spliced into the cable and connected the TV. I also had an old telephone around so hooked that up too. I disconnected the ringer and put the phone behind the bed.

Lisa tiptoed around me and didn't say anything which suited me just fine. I went out to return the car and the camera to my brother. I told him I was going to hang onto the roll of film for now and we would talk about it later. I swung by Mom and Dad's and picked up Maddy on the way home. 

When Maddy burst into the house she went right to her mom to tell her all about her weekend. Apparently Lisa was prepared since she acted like nothing was wrong and made all the appropriate responses to Maddy's chattering. I followed Lisa's cue and we both acted like we would have any other Sunday. Lisa had dinner prepared and we all sat down to eat as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

That set the pattern that was to last for as long as I was to be in our home. When Maddy was home and awake I stayed upstairs. We did all the things we normally did, watched TV, read the paper, played with Maddy, prepared meals and cleaned up afterwards. But when Maddy went to bed for the night I would spend the rest of the evening in the basement or leave the house. Needless to say there weren't any displays of affection between us.

Monday morning we got around like any other weekday. Lisa had made a comment about not feeling like going to work. I told her bluntly she was going to need her job and not to screw it up. I called John and told him I wanted to drop over with the end of year tax forms for signature. 

I stopped at the bank and took care of the things I needed to do. I finally pulled into John's driveway around noon. I knew his wife would be at work and his son at day care. John and I usually got together a couple of days a week during the winter months to work on job bids or finish up paperwork. And sometimes just to hang out.

I walked into his house with a big file box with all the business files and forms that we had accumulated in two years. John met me with a big smile and said, "Hey Alan, why did you leave so early Friday night? You know the fun doesn't really begin until late!" 

Then he noticed all the files I had with me, "What the hell? Why did you bring all this stuff with you?" I set everything down on the kitchen table and started pulling out files. 

"Listen up John. Here's the completed Workman's Comp Insurance Forms, the quarterly liability insurance forms, the IRS quarterly withholding statements, the end-of-year tax forms and all the W-2s to be mailed after the first of the year. I've kept mine. I wrote the checks for the premiums and the withholding. You will have to sign them."

I hesitated for a moment and looked John in the eye, "Also, and this is important. Here is a notarized letter of resignation, from me, as an officer of the company, effective today. Here is a signed receipt, again from me, for the amount of twenty-five hundred dollars, received from the company in exchange for any and all interests in the company. That includes common stock, accumulated equity and goodwill. 

I signed the check myself and cashed it this morning. It might leave you a little short of funds to start up in the spring but I'm sure you will come up with something. But you might want to get down to the bank today and have my name removed from the bank accounts."

John just stared at me, speechless. Finally he got all red in the face and started waving his arms and shouting, "What the hell are you doing? You can't do this!" 

"Oh I can John, and I did. And unless you want the reasons for my impending divorce to become very public you won't make an issue of it." 

As it sunk in what I had just said, John closed his mouth and got very pale. "But, but, I don't know what you are talking about!" 

I just glared at him, "Don't insult me any further. I know where all the bodies are buried now. I don't want to see you or talk to you ever again. And that goes for Craig too. If I ever see either of you again, well, I think I could kick both your asses!"

As I walked out the door I made one last parting shot, "Tell your wife I won't be coming to your Christmas party, I will leave it to you to come up with a good reason."

As I drove away I felt better about myself. Finally it was a first step to closing out the past and start looking to the future. The money took a little of the financial pressure off as well. But I had one more piece of personal retribution left to accomplish.

I waited until about four thirty and called the Burris residence. I remember from my surveillance that it appeared that Patricia Burris arrived home quite awhile before Dan. I hoped this was the case everyday.

A woman answered the phone, "The Burris Residence." I asked if this was Pat Burris. She said it was. Remembering what a shock it was when I received my anonymous phone call, I resolved to be as gentle as I could be. I said, "My name is Alan Baxter. You don't know me but my wife is a friend of your husband." 

I could hear the suspicion in her voice when she said, "What is this about?"

"Your husband has told my wife that you have an open marriage so this probably means nothing to you. I recently found out they have been having an affair for over six months now and I am filing for divorce because of it. I wanted you to know the consequences of his behavior." And Lisa's I thought to myself.

There was a minute of dead silence, then, "Son-of-a-bitch, that son-of-a-bitch! Alan, you said your name was?" I said yes.

"Well we don't have an open marriage. He probably said that because he got away with it once and I forgave him. I have suspected him a couple of other times since then but with my work I have been too busy to keep tabs on him. I see that was a mistake!"

"Well Pat, I am both glad and sorry to hear that. When Lisa, my wife was busted, she tried to sell me on having an open marriage like Dan said you two had. I couldn't imagine living like that."

"What proof do you have of this affair?" She asked.

"I have her admission on tape. And I have some photos of them together at the disco. Not very explicit but it shows them, hugging, kissing and having a very intimate time together. I also have the names and phone numbers of others in their group that were aware of their affair."

I could hear her cussing and swearing under her breath, "Alan, can we get together and talk? I would like very much to hear the tape and see the pictures." I said that would be alright, but I needed a day to get the photos developed. We agreed to get together for lunch on Wednesday. 

I called my brother and he gave me the name of a photo shop who would do a rush order job. I called them and arranged to drop off the film in the morning and they would have it done before closing. I ordered two copies of everything and asked for at least 5x7's if they could be printed that large in focus.

After dropping the film off, I decided to go down to the university and see if my advisor was available. He had some time so we went over my transcript and determined I only needed three classes to get my degree. All of them were being offered winter term during the day. Since I now had enough money to cover the tuition, I made plans to register right after the holidays.

With that taken care off, I had been thinking I needed a source of additional income. Things were going to get tight financially. During the four years since I had come of off active duty the Army Reserve and National Guard had been bombarding me with letters and calls trying to recruit me. 

I called a recruiter from each to see what they had to offer. The Guard offered me a one year trial enlistment at my old rank and since I was prior service, I would qualify for a five hundred dollar bonus. Half paid on signing and the other half at the end of the year. Five hundred bucks would probably cover at least half of the divorce cost so I thought that was a good deal. The one weekend a month would pay almost two hundred dollars. 

The position they offered me was in admin in the state headquarters which was less than ten miles away. I thought 'what the hell,' one weekend a month and two weeks next summer was worth it. I accepted the offer that afternoon and made an appointment for later in the week to get processed in.

With things coming together I started to feel a little more in control of my life. The next day was my lunch appointment with Pat Burris. I picked up the pictures and headed over to the restaurant. When I entered I saw a lady standing by the cash register watching the door. I figured it had to be her so I walked over and said "Pat?" She smiled grimly and said, "You must be Alan." I just nodded and suggested we get a table. 

As we walked to the table I observed that she was about 5'8", blond, attractive and very trim. She was dressed very business like and she appeared to be probably older than Dan, maybe in her mid thirties. 

As we sat down, we studied each other carefully. Finally I suggested we order something and then we could talk. As we waited for our food I gave her some background about myself, Lisa and Maddy. She shook her head when she heard we had a daughter. She told me about herself and Dan. They met when they were both at college. She was two years ahead of him. After she graduated they got married and she started her own business. He eventually went into sales. They decided early on they didn't want kids. They had been married over ten years now.

After the food arrived I started to tell her the story from the time I got the phone call until the morning of our confrontation. I gave her a copy of the names and phone numbers out of our address book. I then got out the tape recorder and started the tape. 

She listened intently while the tape went through Lisa's confession of the affair with Dan. Her face tightened when she heard the part about them going to her house. When the part about Dan was done I shut off the tape. I didn't feel there was any need for her to know the rest. 

I got out the pictures and I talked about what I saw at the club. The pictures were clear enough to show the two of them holding hands, kissing and caressing each other. The looks on their faces were the look of two lovers totally absorbed. 

Pat had tears in her eyes when she finally put the pictures down, "Thanks Alan, can I have copies of these?" I said they were hers to keep. Pat dried her eyes and was quite composed as she said, "Dan had an affair about five years ago that I found out about. We almost divorced over it but he convinced me it was over and it would never happen again. With my business I am gone most weekends so he has a lot of opportunities. I have suspected that something was going on a couple of times since then but it always blew over."

She finally looked down at the table and sighed, "This time it's the final straw. I don't need this or him." She looked up at me, "I'm sorry about your marriage and about your daughter." 

I could tell she was hurting and trying to hold it in. I knew exactly what she was feeling. "It's not your fault. They are adults and made their choices. Now it's up to us to pick up the pieces and move on."

We felt we had said everything that needed to be said and got up to leave. I gave her my phone number and told her to call if she needed anything or just to let me know how things were going. She smiled and said, "Thanks, sometimes it's good to know there is someone who understands what you are going through." 

As I went through the week getting my life rearranged, in public we would pretend we were a happy family. Lisa tried to put a smile on her face when she was around Maddy but when she was out of the room she had this haunted look. At night I could hear her crying in the bedroom after she went to bed. I felt a certain guilty satisfaction that maybe she was feeling some of the same pain I was feeling.

Several times Lisa tried to get me to talk about us and the divorce and I would just walk away from her. Finally she gave up. I would talk to her about Maddy, paying bills, household chores or Christmas. I did shock her when I told her I had enlisted in the National Guard. I also told her I was done with the construction business and she didn't ask any questions.

I called the attorney and instructed him to proceed with the divorce petition with 'irreconcilable differences' as the grounds. And I would drop a check off for the retainer before the end of the week. He said he would call me when the papers were ready to be served and I could decide how I wanted it done.

Before I went downstairs for the night on Thursday I asked Lisa if she was planning on me babysitting for Maddy on Friday night. Lisa looked away from me and said, "No, that's over with Alan. I'm not doing that anymore." I just looked at her and shrugged my shoulders and said, "Whatever," and turned to go down the stairs. 




Disco Nights Ch. 02



Desperately she grabbed my arm and said, "Wait Alan, don't walk away. I need to tell you something." I stopped and just looked at her.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "I wanted you to know I am starting therapy next week. There is a Psychiatrist I know at the hospital that has agreed to see me. It will be once a week on my lunch hour. I screwed up and I don't know why. I know there must be something wrong with me and I need to find out what." She finally looked me in the face with tears in her eyes, "I… I just wanted you to know." 

I was at a loss for words, finally I said, "Okay, Lisa, that's probably a good thing. I wish you luck with it." And I turned and went down to the basement. I didn't think therapy was going to change anything for us. What she had done was so flagrant, so painful I didn't think I would ever get over it. 

Most nights I would toss and turn in bed agonizing over the vision of her spreading her legs for another man, hearing her in my mind gasping and moaning in pleasure, or seeing her giving John a blow job in our living room. Finally after a couple of hours I would fall asleep in exhaustion.

School finally let out for the holiday break and we had started the run up to Christmas. It was hard to get into the Christmas spirit but we finally let Maddy convince us to put up the Christmas tree and all the decorations. Lisa and I agreed to give each other one gift so Maddy would not be suspicious. We would also honor our tradition of filling up our Christmas stockings with candy and small personal items. Maddy was always so thrilled to have the three of us dump out our stockings on Christmas morning so she could see what everyone got.

We limited our social events to only family gatherings. Some of our friends kept calling, asking why we weren't coming to the holiday parties. John's wife, Karen, called Lisa and was insistent about knowing why we couldn't make their party. We made a variety of excuses and tried to minimize any discussion about it. 

I think Lisa had confided in her sister as there were some awkward moments with her family. My mother had noticed that something was wrong with Lisa and that she seemed to be losing weight and asked me about it. I just shrugged and said she had been fighting a bug lately. I don't think she bought it but didn't say anything else.

We finally got through Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Maddy had a great Christmas and we spoiled her as we usually did. I tried to treasure every moment with her and a couple time she would ask me why I was looking at her funny. Once she said that in front of both of us and Lisa could see the tears in my eyes. She turned away with a sob and left the room. 

A couple of days after Christmas the attorney called to say the divorce petition was ready. I told him to go ahead and file. It would probably be listed in the paper the following week and become public knowledge. I decided to stop and pick up the copy for Lisa and give it to her myself. I had toyed with the idea of having her served publicly to maximize the hurt but finally decided that there was enough pain going around already.

That same day Lisa came home from work and was visibly upset and had been crying. I tried to separate myself from her emotional well being ever since I confronted her. She said she had to tell me something after Maddy went to bed. Lisa was barely holding it together through dinner. When Maddy finally went to bed she sat down across from me, "Dan Burris called me today. I haven't spoken to him since, since that night. He called me to tell me his wife filed for divorce." 

I just looked at her and didn't say anything. "He said she had pictures of the two of us together and that she got them from you? Is that true?" 

I said, "Yes." 

She started crying, "I asked him why the divorce if they had an open marriage? He said that wasn't exactly true." She looked up at me with tears running down her face, "He lied to me, Alan! He lied to me!" 

I just shook my head, "Lisa, he is a player and he played you. He told you everything you wanted to hear." And I turned and went down the stairs.

After that Lisa got more haggard and tired. She seemed to be nauseous a lot and didn't have much of an appetite. I knew the stress was getting to her, like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wondered if she was getting an ulcer. But she did manage to drag herself into work everyday. 

I had been going through the classifieds trying to find a place close by that I could afford. I knew that I would have to continue to subsidize the rent on the duplex for awhile as the costs were beyond Lisa's means on her own income. I had finally concluded I was going to have to have another full-time job if I was going to have my own place. It would be tough taking three classes and working full-time but I would only have to do it for winter term.

I made the trip down to the employment office of the auto assembly plant to see what they might have. I had worked for them a couple of times the last few years and had some contacts with some of the staff. They had a few non-union ninety day temp jobs available working second shift if I was interested. It would pay about twice what unemployment paid so it would be enough for what I needed. I signed up and would start the week after New Years.

The holiday weekend was starting the next day. I had no desire to celebrate the New Year but I didn't want to stay around Lisa either. Being in the same house with her day after day was killing me. I know I still loved her and hated her at the same time. I asked her if she had any plans and she said no. I told her I needed to get away for awhile. I would go up to Mom and Dad's cabin for the weekend. It would be cold but maybe I could do some cross country skiing. It would give me an opportunity to clear my head. I wanted to get my thoughts together before I gave her the divorce papers.

I got back on Sunday afternoon. The time away had helped and I was feeling a little more relaxed. Lisa was in the living room watching television when I walked in. As usual she didn't say anything to me. Finally I asked where Maddy was. She said she took her to her Mom's for the day. I thought to myself this would probably be the best opportunity to do what had to be done.

I went and got my briefcase and sat down next to her on the couch. I took out the manila envelope. I said, "Lisa, we might as well do this now. These are the divorce papers. You should get a lawyer and have him review them. I did not file on grounds of adultery but on grounds of irreconcilable differences."

As Lisa reached out to take the envelope her hands shook and she started crying. She put her head down in her lap and sobbed huge gut wrenching sobs. Listening to her made me tear up but I held myself in and waited for her to get a hold of herself.

Finally she blew her nose a couple of times and wiped her eyes. She sat up and looked at me miserably. She said, "Alan, I think I'm pregnant."



Disco Nights Ch. 03



This story was inspired by a real event that occurred in the late 70's. A time before HIV, Cell Phones, DNA testing or the Internet. Vietnam, the Cold War and the Draft were the topics of the day. Disco ruled. It is a story about love, infidelity, consequences and sacrifice. The names and details have been changed to protect the guilty. There is very little sex in this story. 

*

Pregnant? I just stared at her in disbelief! Could this get any worse? Wouldn't this ever end? Slowly I said, "What makes you think that?"

"I'm almost three weeks late for my period. And I have been sick and throwing up almost every morning for the last week."

I just kept looking at her. She waited, her eyes darting all around but not looking me in the face. Finally she blurted out, "Aren't you going to say anything?"

I just shook my head, "Congratulations I guess, so who's the father?"

She looked shocked and desperate. "Alan! You are! I would never do that to you!"

"What the fuck does that mean? I never thought you would screw around on me either. But you have been doing that for over six years now!"

"No, no Alan! Dan had a vasectomy six, seven years ago. He can't be the father!"

"And how do you know he had a vasectomy? Because he told you so?"

"Yes, yes!"

Slowly I said, "So you believe Dan, the same man who told you he had an open marriage?"

Lisa's mouth gaped open, she tried to say something and nothing came out.

"And that means if you were depending on his vasectomy to protect you from pregnancy that also means you were having sex with him bareback, right?"

Lisa looked confused, "Bareback? What do you mean?"

I just exploded, "How dumb can you be! Bareback means you screwed him without a condom! You let him dump his cum in you without a rubber!" Shit! I just shook my head in disbelief. There was another visual that would haunt me at night!

Lisa put her hands over her face and cried.

"Well, Lisa, when you go to doctor to get your pregnancy test you better have them do a full blood test as well for STD's. And if you didn't know it, STD stands for 'sexually transmitted disease!' You know syphilis, gonorrhea and things like that! I will be calling the doctor tomorrow for my appointment." I turned and walked out the door to go pick up Maddy.

This revelation put me further into a funk. The stupidity of it all just made me want to scream. How could my perceptions of Lisa be so different from reality? How could I have lived with this woman for over six years and not know her?

The next day I started my second shift job at the auto plant. My classes would start in a couple of days but I would be done everyday in time for me to get home before Maddy got home from school. I would watch Maddy until Lisa got home and I had to leave for work. The good thing about my schedule was I would be seeing less of Lisa. The bad thing was I would be seeing less of Maddy. 

I also called the attorney and made an appointment to see him that afternoon. I told him about the latest development and wanted to know what impact it would have on the divorce petition. He said the judge would not approve any final divorce action pending the birth of the child and resolution of any paternity issues. Even though I had already filed, he said I might as well plan on not pushing for a court date until then. 

Since the petition had been filed, the public notice came out in the newspaper's weekly court actions. I didn't bother to mention it to Lisa. The day after it came out she called me from work and started crying and screaming at me, "How could you? How could you do this to me?" She hung up before I could answer.

She didn't say anything when she came in the door that night and I didn't either. The next day my Dad called. Said they had seen the divorce petition and wanted to know what was going on? I told him that I wasn't ready to talk about it yet but as soon as I felt able I would come over.

Over the next couple of days a couple of the guys I was close with from our old gang phoned. They wanted to ask about the divorce notice and what had happened. I told them that it was too painful to talk about. They said all our friends were just aghast and couldn't figure it out. We had seemed so happy together. I just said, "Shit happens," and eventually it would all come out. Until then I didn't feel like there was anything to add.

About the middle of the week I decided to give Pat Burris a call. When she answered I said, "Hi, this is Alan. I wanted to touch base with you and see how you were doing?" She said, "It's been rough but getting better. I filed for divorce and Dan is moving out this weekend." 

"Yeah, I heard. Dan called Lisa and told her the news. She took it hard when she found out you really didn't have any open marriage." I sighed, "Calling my wife an airhead is somewhat of an understatement."

"What about you? How is it going at your end?" Pat asked.

"Well, I filed for divorce too. But we have had a complication. Lisa thinks she is pregnant."

"Oh shit! I guess that changes things. What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. Lisa says I'm the father but it turns out her and Dan have been having unprotected sex all along. This also affects you. You might want to get tested."

"Damn it, that makes him just as dumb as she is! Yeah, I better get tested too. I'm sure she's not the only one he has been fooling around with. I will get that bastard for this!

But if it makes you feel any better I can clarify the paternity issue for you. Dan is shooting blanks. He had a vasectomy about six years ago. It was just about the time I found out he was cheating on me the first time. I guess he felt it was his license to screw around."

"That's what Dan told Lisa. But I didn't think I could trust anything Dan told her." I thought for a minute, "Do you think I could get a copy of the medical report when they tested him after the vasectomy?" 

"Sure. We should have all that stuff in our medical files. I will have a copy made and mail it to you." We made plans to talk the following week to compare lab results and then hung up.

The rest of the week I never spoke to Lisa more than five minutes. She would come in the door from work and I would be going out the door to work. When I got home after my shift it was always after one in the morning. She would get Maddy ready for school early and drop her off on the way to work. 

I would get up a couple of hours later and head over to the university to attend classes. After class I would pick up Maddy, spend a couple of hours with her until Lisa got home. And Saturday and Sunday was my first National Guard Drill weekend. 

Saturday evening the three us had dinner together for the first time all week. Maddy was missing me something terrible and she let me know it. She was also fascinated with the uniform I wore home and my new short haircut. 

We spent all evening playing together until her bedtime. I was about falling down from exhaustion from the schedule I was keeping and headed for bed as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Lisa stopped me, "Alan, we haven't spoken all week. We need to talk."

"No, you need to talk. I need to sleep. Tell you what though, you hold that thought and tomorrow after I get home from drill you can tell me what's on your mind." And I went to bed. The good thing about being so tired is I didn't lie awake agonizing over Lisa having sex with someone else. Or agonize over me not having had any sex with anyone even myself for these past six weeks!

I had time at drill on Sunday to think about where things were going or weren't going with the divorce. I had gotten Dan's lab report from Pat in Saturday's mail. It confirmed he was sterile. It got me thinking about what led to Lisa getting pregnant again. 

With all the turmoil I had totally forgotten she had gone off the pill several months previous. She said that they were causing her to gain weight and were giving her headaches. At the time I could not understand why she wanted to stop completely. I suggested she see her doctor and have him suggest another type of pill, or discuss other birth control options. But she was adamant that she needed to go off the pill now and couldn't wait to see the doctor. It was confusing to me since whenever we talked about having another child she couldn't make up her mind.

So when she stopped we half-heartedly practiced the rhythm method and tried to avoid her fertile period. On occasions I would use a condom but she never asked me to. Now I had to wonder, did she go off the pill because she sensed things were going to come to a head juggling her lover and her husband? Was she afraid of what would happen if it all came out? Did she think she could bind me to her with a pregnancy? Maybe she thought getting pregnant was one way of forcing herself to stop screwing around?

After Maddy went to bed that night we sat at the table and I gave her the opportunity to talk. Nervously she kept twisting her hands together, "I have an appointment to see my OB/GYN tomorrow. I wanted you to know." 

She cleared her throat, "I ah, called Dan a couple of days ago. I asked him again about the vasectomy. He laughed when I said you were questioning the paternity of the baby. He repeated again that he had it done years ago." She looked down at her hands, "I just want you to believe me when I say you're the father."

I took the envelope out of my pocket and put the lab report in front of her. She opened it up and read it. "Where did you get this?" 

"I got it from Pat Burris. It seems Dan wasn't lying to you this time."

I thought for a few moments, "Lisa, if the pregnancy is confirmed I won't push for a court date until the baby is born. My attorney tells me a judge isn't likely to approve the divorce until paternity is established anyway."

Pausing again to think about what I wanted to say, and how much I hated to say it, "If you are pregnant then I will concede the child is probably mine, unless the baby's blood type contradicts that. And as difficult as it is for me to live here with you I will offer you a choice. I can stay here and help you and Maddy through the pregnancy and until you get back to work. Or I can move into an apartment close by and be available as much as I can to help with Maddy or whatever else you need help with."

Lisa looked at with me relief, "Thank you Alan. I don't want to go through this alone. Please stay." She looked away again and said timidly, "Would, would you move back into our bedroom again, since you are going to be here awhile anyway?"

I shook my head violently from side to side, "No, this doesn't mean reconciliation, or all is forgiven or my plans have changed. I will do what's best for our kids. Just accept it."

I didn't tell her that the thought of sharing a bed with her made me sick.

"Okay, Alan and thanks. I want you to know how much this means to me." She paused and looked me in the eyes for the first time in days, "Alan, I am so sorry!" And she got up and left the table. 

About a week after the divorce petition was published I finally went over to Mom and Dad's and told them that Lisa and I had been having problems and I was the one who had filed for divorce. But after I did that we found out Lisa was pregnant so we decided to put the divorce on hold. Mom wasn't satisfied but the news about Lisa being pregnant distracted her. I knew she figured the divorce wouldn't happen because of it. Mom and Dad thought a lot of Lisa and I knew it would break their hearts when I moved out.

For the rest of the winter term my schedule remained unchanged. School was going well. I was hard pressed to find time to study but everything looked good for graduation. Lisa went to the doctor and the pregnancy was confirmed. Our blood tests all came back negative which was somewhat of a relief. Maddy continued to complain about not seeing me enough. I did my best to make up for it on the weekends, playing in the snow, taking her sledding, taking her to the mall or to the movies. 

Living with Lisa and being essentially separated was weird in the extreme. We avoided each other and worked at not being alone in the same room at the same time. Every time I looked at her I would get pissed all over again. But I also found I was still sexually attracted to her. The thought of dating again depressed me. It didn't help that I couldn't figure out a way to attempt it with my schedule and given the fact we were still living in the same house. I was relying on Rosie and her five friends for some relief. 

I couldn't or wouldn't ask Lisa what she was doing or who she was seeing socially. Pat didn't know if Dan was seeing her or not. I assumed she was staying home nights since there was never any mention of babysitters. 

A few weeks into the term I woke up in the middle of the night with an unfamiliar, but not unwelcome feeling in my groin. Lisa had snuck down the stairs and gotten my shorts open and was slurping away on my hard cock with more enthusiasm than she had shown in the last two years of our marriage. I wanted to kick her off the bed but you know what they say about a stiff prick having no conscience. After a few more minutes of great head, she stood up and swung her leg over my cock and slowly lowered herself onto me. I was not surprised to see she didn't have a stitch of clothes on. Lisa came with a groan as I entered her fully. She sat there with her eyes closed for a few minutes. Finally she looked down at me and she hissed, "Fuck me Alan, please fuck me!"

Without thinking I rolled her over and under me without breaking our connection. I reached under her hips and lifted her ass and legs as high as I could and started pounding my cock into her. Lisa started wailing and thrashing around like she was having one continuous orgasm. I slammed into her as hard and as deep as possible without caring how she felt. I could feel myself working out all my frustrations, all my anger and all my hate into that one physical act. 

Finally with almost a scream I came, and came, and came. I stayed there, covering her for what seemed like an hour before I finally rolled off of her. My mind was a total blank. We both laid there in silence gasping and heaving and trying to catch our breaths. After a while Lisa got up, picked up her robe, looked down at me and said simply, "Thanks Alan," and walked up the stairs. 

I have to admit the whole thing confused me. And that set the pattern for our relationship until Lisa got too big for sex. Once every week or two Lisa would wake me in my bed in the middle of the night. I never knew what night it would be or what time. And I couldn't make myself kick her out of bed when I woke up enough to realize she was there. I still didn't want to talk to her but I didn't instantly get angry anymore when I saw her. 

One subject I did bring up with Lisa was what plans she had for living arrangements after the baby was born. Every time I brought up anything concerning our separation she would start crying. But I felt she had to face the facts and think about the future. When the baby came she would need another bedroom for the baby. I suggested we look for a three bedroom townhouse or duplex or maybe even a house to rent. It would be best to get moved before the birth and before I moved out.

She reluctantly agreed and after about a month of looking we found a house that was in a decent school district and would be within her price range given her income and the anticipated child support I would be providing. There were even a couple of apartment complexes within walking distance that I thought might be suitable for me when I moved out.

We arranged to move at the end of the term. It seemed everything would come to a head about the same time. I would graduate, my temporary job would end and we would move, all within a couple of weeks. 

I have been attending the National Guard drills for about three months now. To be honest the weekends there were kind of boring and uneventful. The big push was to be ready for the summer annual training period when most of the units would move to Camp Grayling in northern Michigan for fifteen days. 

One of the things I discovered after a couple of drills was that the guard had a wide variety of opportunities for full time employment. I had no desire to work on the assembly line forever or to go back to construction again. I decided to see what they had to offer. 

I put together my resume and starting applying for positions. I found that with my prior service and the fact that I was completing my degree this semester made me very attractive to the guard officers that were doing the interviewing. 

After two or three interviews I was offered and accepted a position in the central supply facility. The money was less that the assembly line but the opportunity for advancement was much better. I asked for and was given a start date that would allow me to finish classes and to get the family moved.

The end of the semester came and Mom and Dad insisted on having our entire family over for a celebration. I was the first one to complete college in our family although eventually all my brothers would complete theirs. Everyone fussed over Lisa and avoided the subject of divorce.

With the help of family we got moved and settled in. I set up my bedroom in the basement again after everyone had left. Maddy was thrilled with her new and bigger bedroom and was looking forward to having a new brother or sister. She even liked her new school and loved her new teacher. I started my new job and was trying to get used to working days and wearing an Army uniform everyday.

Since the holidays I had become something of a gym rat. I worked out at the YMCA almost daily. Running, swimming, racquetball and weights were all part of my weekly routine. With the exercise, my schedule and loss of appetite due to stress I had lost almost thirty pounds. When I looked in the mirror I marveled at the changes in just four months. The beard and mustache were gone. My hair was cut short. Even my face was thinner and harder. It was quite a change. Even Lisa had commented on it a couple of times.

Being home again evenings I went back to the routine I had of leaving the house or going down into my basement room after Maddy went to bed for the night. Socially we had very little contact with anyone other than family. I had joined the American Legion and started stopping there once a week with some of the people I worked with. Lisa had become somewhat of a recluse since the filing become public. I knew she did visit her sister regularly and I had overheard her speaking to Connie on the phone a couple of times. Other than work she pretty much stayed home.

The little contact I had with the friends from our old social circle was quite enlightening. It seems it became common knowledge that the reason for my filing for divorce was infidelity on Lisa's part. That apparently led to some speculation that pointed to some past behavior of John's and Craig's. It seems that their spouses had become suspicious and now the entire group was unraveling with accusations and denials of other suspected indiscretions. I couldn't help but think they were getting what they deserved. 

Lisa was approaching the seventh month mark when she asked me if I intended to be in the hospital room with her when she delivered. I hadn't given it any thought since when Maddy was born it wasn't that common. But the last few years that had changed. I asked her what she preferred me to do. She said she wanted me there. But it would require I attend birthing classes with her for about six weeks. I decided since it was very likely this might be my last child, it was something I should experience.

As a result we were spending more time together, discussing the pregnancy, the baby, Maddy's school and any other safe subjects. One night as we were returning from the birthing class, without looking at me, Lisa said, "You remember me telling you I started therapy last January?" Not sure I wanted to hear about this, I said, "I remember." 




Disco Nights Ch. 03



"I need to tell you what the therapist has to say about my behavior. Will you listen?"

I pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. I turned to her and said, "Go ahead."

She sat there, staring out the window for a few minutes. Finally she said, "You know what my family was like when I was growing up?" I nodded and said, "Yes." She had told me all the stories in our first few years of marriage. In a lot of ways it was pretty grim.

"Dad cheated on Mom repeatedly until he got so old and banged up he couldn't physically do it anymore. Dad would disappear for days and Mom would track him down in some bar and drag him away from some woman. They would argue and fight over it and bust each other up. Both my brothers took after Dad in his drinking and cheating. Everyone knew about it and talked about it. Neither of them could keep their marriages together because of it."

She turned and looked at me. "My sister married to get away from Dad. Ironically she married someone just like him. He drank and cheated just like the rest of the family. In fact, he even hit on me when I was fourteen." She shook her head, "He scared me and I told my sister. They separated for awhile because of it." She shrugged and said, "But then again they separated at least a half a dozen times before I was out of high school." 

"The thing is I can remember my sister fooling around with other men during those separations. I know since she would have me babysit when she was going out on dates when she had thrown her husband out of the house."

Lisa was silent for a few minutes. "My therapist said that growing up in that environment taught me at least on some level, that infidelity was accepted and even expected. Everyone did it. And when I married, my husband eventually would do it to me, so in my mind there was nothing wrong with doing it first. In fact 'Do it to him before he did it to you' was an appropriate reaction." 

She started crying, "And then I met you. You were nothing like my Dad. And your family is nothing like my family." She wiped her eyes and said, "But the therapist said that subconsciously I never accepted that there was a difference."

Lisa wiped her eyes, "Oh there was some other things too. My dad never gave me much attention growing up. He was too busy drinking and carrying on with other women. So I craved the attention of men. An added factor was that I really liked sex. The therapist says I have a very active libido."

"So the first time it happened in Germany it was what I expected to happen. It didn't help that I was under the influence of hash which further lowered my inhibitions. And … and I am ashamed to say, I liked it. And every time it happened after that it just got easier."

"Consciously I knew I couldn't let you find out. Bad things happen when your spouse finds out you are screwing around. But I really didn't feel any overwhelming guilt. I just convinced myself you would never know and it would never affect our marriage. Obviously I was wrong."

I sat there and listened. Not too surprised by some of it, but it still felt like a scab being pulled off of a raw wound.

Lisa looked at me, "I don't expect this to change anything but I wanted you to know. I also wanted you to know that the sex was never better than what you and I had, it was just different. She looked down at the floor, "And I would give anything to take it all back now."

Thinking about what she had said for a few minutes, I finally answered, "Thanks for the update, Lisa. But you are right. It doesn't change anything. But I hope you continue your therapy."

The last two months leading up to the delivery were uneventful. Summer was here but because of Lisa's condition she didn't travel much. Work was going great for me. I transferred to a higher paying job which I liked. I had been sent TDY a couple of times to attend training and conferences. My boss was encouraging me to apply for the state military academy to become a commissioned officer. I thought it would be a good thing to do but not until the baby was born, the divorce was final and I had my own place.

Lisa had been off on maternity leave almost two weeks when she went into labor. My mother had been standing by and she came over and picked Maddy up. I hustled Lisa over to the hospital and got her admitted. The whole birthing experience was astounding to me. 

Lisa's tolerance for pain was amazing. I never expected she had that kind of strength. As the baby was being born the miracle of it all was just overwhelming. When it was all over and Lisa finally had the baby in her arms and holding her up to me, I felt as close to her as I ever had in the seven years we had been married.

We named the baby Katherine after one of Lisa's aunts. I didn't need the blood type to confirm what anyone could see with their own eyes. Kate had several distinctive features that resembled the Baxter side of the family. She was a real doll. Later as the family congregated in the recovery room I felt myself saddened over the thought of moving out and leaving this little girl. Maddy glued herself to Lisa's side whenever she had the baby and wouldn't leave. She had a sister and it was her job to make sure Kate was never alone. 

The next few weeks were kind of a blur. Lisa and the baby came home and settled into a routine. I found myself tending to Kate more than I ever thought I would. Many nights I would waken to hear her and before I knew it I would be up the stairs tending to her before Lisa could even wake up.

After about a month I half-heartedly began looking for an apartment. A few more weeks and Lisa would be ready to go back to work. When I mentioned to Lisa that I was apartment hunting she got tears in her eyes but didn't say anything. What was even harder was somehow I needed to think of a way to tell Maddy I would be moving out. 

We decided that we wanted Katherine baptized before Lisa went back to work and I moved out. I hadn't told my family about the separation and we didn't want the baptism done under a cloud. We made the arrangements for it to be done at our family church when Kate was about six weeks old.

That Sunday was a beautiful sunny fall day. As we stood at the altar, Lisa holding Kate, and Maddy holding my hand, I had a lump in my throat and my heart was heavy. The pastor was applying the holy water and giving the blessing. Our parents, siblings and their spouses all stood behind us bearing witness. I have never been very religious but at that moment I felt God was talking to me. 

He was telling me that these two beautiful daughters of mine deserved more than a broken home. More than an absentee father. And the thought of the possibility of another man raising them was enough to make me tremble. 

I realized I could not let that happen, regardless of the cost. And as I stood there I made a silent promise, before God, to Maddy and Kate that no matter what happened I would see them through to adulthood. I would be there for them. 

Later after the service, as we all stood in the narthex, Lisa put Kate into my arms as she picked up the diaper bag and her purse. Maddy took a hold of my hand and said, "Isn't my sister the most beautiful baby you ever saw, daddy?" I looked down at her and smiled, "Almost as beautiful as you were Maddy!" Maddy giggled and beamed at me. 

As we walked to the door I stopped, and looked at Lisa in the eyes, "Lisa, if it is okay with you, I want to drop the divorce petition." Lisa just stood there for a moment, and looked at me with tears running down her cheeks. Softly she said, "Will you share my bed again?" I simply said, "Yes."

She smiled and replied, "Then it is okay with me."

So with Kate in one arm and Maddy holding my hand, I turned and walked out into the warm sunlight to face a brighter future.

Epilogue:

As I sat there in the restaurant observing our friends and relatives, my thoughts went back to that day nineteen years ago and all the things that had transpired since. 

It was our 25th Wedding Anniversary this week and Maddy and Kate insisted on a celebration of sorts. They had wanted a big open house but I convinced them that a small dinner gathering of a few friends and relatives would be more appropriate. And no gifts please!

Lisa had continued to work at the hospital all these years. And ten years ago when they went through a merger with two other hospitals she ended up in a senior administrator position in the management company. She continued to be a success there and was quite happy with her job.

I had gone on to attend the state military academy and got my commission as a 2nd Lieutenant in the Army National Guard. Over the years I moved up the ladder in the logistics field. I did my company command time as a Captain of an ordnance company which was quite a challenge. I was now a Lieutenant Colonel and had just recently finished a rotation as commander of a Maintenance Battalion.

Working for the Guard had taken me all over the United States. I had been to Europe twice as part of Operation Reforger and Central and South America on three separate operations. I had been away from home for extended periods of time while I completed my Officer Basic and Officer Advance Courses in Virginia and most recently when I attended the Command and General Staff Course at Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas.

Lisa and I discussed at length the travel requirements of the job and she always said she was okay with it. Occasionally she would travel with me to conferences and professional events when she had enough vacation time to go. 

Every summer the four of us, Lisa and I and both the girls, would take a one or two week family vacation somewhere on the Great Lakes. And we spent many weekends at Mom and Dad's lake cottage before they passed away a few years ago. Lisa's mother was now living in a nursing home. Her father having had passed away from cirrhosis of the liver some ten years before. 

The girls had been a joy all during their childhood. They both did well in school, and managed to survive the shocks of puberty and dating. Maddy had taken to gymnastics in High School and Kate to volleyball. They were both now grown up adults.

Maddy had gone on to Michigan State University and completed her business degree in minimum time. I think she decided to go there so she wouldn't be far from home and Kate. During her senior year she met Mark, a wonderful man and they married shortly after graduation. Walking her down the aisle was the biggest thrill of my life since Kate was born. And about a year ago they gave us a beautiful granddaughter.

Kate was now a sophomore at Western Michigan on an athletic scholarship and was doing well. She can't decide what she wants to major in but she promised me she would make up her mind before the school year is over. She is a starter on the volleyball team and lives on campus and thrives on it. She is breaking the hearts of the young men she meets but is amazingly well adjusted about it. 

I look over at Lisa, sitting between Maddy and Kate, talking and laughing, with pride and some heartache. Maddy and Kate have always been inseparable and I believe they talk on the phone to each other every day. Lisa is still an attractive, sexy woman and has been a wonderful mother to both our girls. Both Maddy and Kate take after her in many ways.

We were just finishing our coffee in the private dining room after a wonderful meal. I knew the gathering was close to breaking up. I sighed, and stood up. It was time for me to do my part. 

I looked around at the gathering, Lisa and the girls, our son Mark, my three brothers and their wives, Lisa's two brothers with their current spouses or girlfriends. Lisa's sister, Sherrie with her oldest daughter. Sherrie had divorced her husband some years back and never remarried. 

Lisa's friend from the hospital Connie and her husband were here. I never had much use for her but Lisa and Connie had remained close over the years. Wayne, my best man from our wedding and his wife were also here. Lisa's maid of honor, Shelley and her husband had come down from northern Michigan. Two couples that were part of our old social group all those years ago had been invited. We had stayed close with them when the rest of that gang went their separate ways.

As I stood there, the room began to quiet down and they all turned to look at me.

"I want to thank you all for coming today. When Maddy and Kate approached us about having an anniversary open house I convinced them that a small gathering of our closest friends and relatives would be an adequate celebration. I know Lisa might not agree but never the less here we are." I smiled at Lisa and she just laughed and shook her head.

"One of the things you all have in common is you have known us for at least the past nineteen years. And some of you have known us as long as or longer than Lisa and I have known each other."

I paused and took a sip of water, "The other thing you all have in common is all of you are aware that nineteen years ago I had filed for divorce." I saw Lisa stiffen, the smile disappeared from her lips and she reached out and grabbed the hands of Maddy and Kate in each of hers. I had told the girls when they became teenagers that their Mother and I had grown apart at one point in our marriage and nearly divorced. I didn't tell them any details and I never knew if Lisa had ever spoken about it to them.

"And since these things never remain a secret, I am sure you are all aware the reason for my filing was on grounds of infidelity." I didn't need to state who the obvious offending party was. You could hear a pin drop in the room. It seemed like everyone was afraid to breath. I looked down at Lisa. She was white as ghost and looked at me pleadingly as if to say, "Please don't go there."

"Shortly after I filed, Lisa discovered she was pregnant with Katherine. Needless to say the divorce was put on hold. And right after Kate was baptized we decided to reconcile."

"You see we are not only celebrating our 25th Wedding Anniversary today, we are also celebrating the completion of a promise I made to Maddy and Kate. A promise I made in church, in front of God the day that Kate was baptized. As I looked at these two beautiful girls on that day," and I turned and looked at them, and I could see the love in their eyes as they looked back at me, "I promised that no matter what, I would be there for them. I would see them through to adulthood. I would be their only father in fact as well as in name."

I stopped and looked at my family, Lisa sitting frozen, unmoving, and Maddy and Kate still looking at me with love but also some uncertainty in their eyes. "Maddy, Kate, I need to know, was your childhood everything you thought it should be? Was your family life loving and supporting in every way possible. Did I, did we short you in any way that we could have done better?"

Maddy and Kate looked at each other. And they both turned to me and Maddy said, "No Daddy, other than your traveling so much, it was great. We know you and Mom did as much as you could for us. We always felt loved and we always spent time together as a family. In fact we had it better than most of our friends. We just hope we can do nearly as well with our own families." And Kate nodded her agreement.

With a sigh of relief, I said, "Then it was all worth it."

I took another sip of water and a deep breath. "Just after I filed for divorce, Lisa began therapy with a psychiatrist from the hospital to try to understand her self-destructive behavior." I looked down at her and said, "I don't think I ever told you Lisa, how much I admired your courage in taking that step." Lisa just sat there shaking her head with tears running down her face.

"What Lisa told me the therapist had concluded was that given the family environment she grew up in, her infidelity was not surprising and probably could even be predicted. Lisa's father was a serial cheater, her brothers cheated, her brother cheated, he even tried to cheat with her. As a result, Lisa subconsciously expected when she married, her husband would cheat on her too." I shrugged, "given that belief, it was better for her to do it to me before I did it to her." 

Lisa's brothers started to mutter and were looking daggers at me. I just held up my hand and said, "I am just repeating what the therapist told Lisa, you can take it up with her later."

"So here we are. Therapy explained why Lisa cheated." I paused and looked at Lisa, "What therapy couldn't or didn't do was get her to stop."

The only sound in the room was a sob of anguish from Lisa. I stopped and looked at the faces of our friends and family. I noted the shock and surprise on most of them. With a few exceptions, two of which surprised me.

"I see from the look on Connie and Sherrie's face that this is not a surprise to you. But then you two were always Lisa's confidants." They both looked away in embarrassment. 

Turning to my girls I said, "But I am surprised to see that our daughters do not seem to be surprised?"

Still holding onto to Lisa's hands, who was moaning and sobbing, Maddy and Kate looked at Lisa not too kindly then turned to look me in the eyes. Maddy said, "Daddy, we suspected it ever since high school. But we didn't know what to do. Should we tell you? Did you already know and were ignoring it?" Kate said, "You and Mom both seemed to be happy. We were afraid we might ruin things."

I shook my head in amazement and looked at Lisa, "We raised two really smart girls, Lisa. Smarter than both of us it seems."

I paused for a moment. Maddy and Kate were trying to comfort their mother. Everyone else just stared at me, waiting to hear what else was going to come out of my mouth next. Well, they would not be disappointed. 

"About six months after Kate was born, Lisa and I decided not to have any more kids for one reason or another. Subsequently I had a vasectomy and our lives proceeded down the path we had chosen."

"Imagine my surprise a couple of years later when I discovered Lisa was back on the pill." 

I looked at Lisa, "You really didn't do a very good job of hiding it Lisa."

"After that it was easy enough to take a couple of trips that really didn't last as long as I said they would, in order to get home early and observe what was going on in my absence."

"But what really surprised me was that at some point you had the audacity to go back to the man that almost caused our divorce the first time." I shook my head. "Of course he couldn't resist bragging to his 'ex-wife' that he had gotten you into the sack again. And since I had helped provide her the evidence for her divorce, she of course called me."

"You never even questioned it when our sex life began to dwindle away until it was virtually non-existent. As time went on the thought of making love to you became more and more repugnant to me. But then you were getting everything you needed elsewhere weren't you?"

"Lisa, I don't know how many affairs you have had over the last nineteen years, not that it matters. But at the suggestion of my attorney, and with the assistance of a private investigator, I did document several of them, the most recent one being about a year ago."

Thoughtfully I looked at my two girls. "Was staying together the right thing to do? To be honest I don't know. I was afraid of losing Maddy and Kate. I thought if I could hold it together their lives wouldn't be affected. I was also afraid of being alone, afraid of trying to find someone else to share my life. But at some point that becomes the lesser of two evils."

I bent down and reached under my chair and picked up an old creased, water stained manila envelope. I held it in my hands, "This is the original envelope that our first divorce papers came in. In fact, I used the same law firm. But the contents have been appropriately updated."




Disco Nights Ch. 03



I leaned down and laid the envelope in front of Lisa. "Repeating what I said that day nineteen years ago, here are the divorce papers. You should get a lawyer and have them reviewed. I did not file on grounds of adultery but on grounds of irreconcilable differences." Lisa just looked at me in shock, tears running down her face. 

Looking up at everyone staring at me, I said, "I know what some of you are thinking, why are you doing this now and why so harsh, why so public?

I shook my head, "How do you balance the scales of nineteen years of humiliation and disrespect? Nineteen years of knowing your wife was sleeping with other men. And how many people, other than her lovers were aware of her behavior? A marriage is built on love, commitment and trust. For twenty five years I lived in a marriage without it. The bill has come due. Now it is time for Lisa to pay up."

"And why now? First, I honored my promise before God to be a real father and raise my daughters to the best of my ability. To be there for them when they needed me

Well, our kids are grown up, and have become well-adjusted adults. Maddy has her own home and family. And Kate has successfully made the transition to college and it is unlikely she will ever return home except for short visits.

Second, we have been married twenty-five years and I am forty six years old. Physically I am probably as healthy as I have ever been. I still have most of my hair, although it is somewhat grayer now, and I am young enough to start over. There is still time to find someone who wants to be with me and only me, someone who values faithfulness and fidelity. Someone I can love and will love me in return. Someone I can trust.

And lastly, I have been offered a three year assignment at National Guard Headquarters in Washington. It is a great opportunity for me and it will pretty much guarantee my next promotion. After that, who knows? A couple of defense contractors have already expressed an interest in my services after my tour is completed. Anyway my new job starts in thirty days and needless to say, I am excited about this opportunity on both a personal as well as a professional level.

Tomorrow I am leaving for Washington on an orientation visit and a house hunting trip. I will not return to our home except to pack up the things I want or need."

I gazed out over the faces of friends and family, remembering the good times and the not so good times. Thinking about that first life lesson that I forgot once, that nothing stays the same.

"And as Paul Harvey says, 'Now you know the rest of the story'." 

Looking down at Lisa, I said sadly, "Good bye Lisa. I loved you with all my heart once. And part of me will always love you. I gave you everything I had but it wasn't enough." Lisa buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

"Maddy, Kate, give me a hug. I'm leaving now. Take care of your Mom. Despite everything she did to me, she was always a good mother to you."

And with that, I closed that chapter of my life and briskly walked out the door, eager to start the next one.

The End

* * *

I want to thank all of you who read my story and those of you who made comments. To answer a couple of the questions you posted -- Yes, this is my first attempt at writing fiction. Or historical fiction or maybe more accurately alternate-history fiction as it somehow seems to me.

If you enjoyed it, that's great. But to be honest I wrote this story for me. It has been percolating inside of me for over thirty years. It was time to let it out. How much of it is true and how much of it is fiction? That is between me and my journal!

* *