99 comments/  53923 views/  40 favorites

Death in Absentia

By: radk



To the reader:

I wrote this story two years ago and put it in my file of stories I didn't think were good enough to submit. Then I saw a story on the morning news and knew I had to resurrect it. The story on TV was eerily close to this one, even to the point where everything happened in the same city. (I changed the location when I re-edited it.) All that being said, this is a work of fiction, everything came out of my head and is in no way a reflection of any real events. As they say on television, all characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

And just as a warning, there isn't any sex in the story.

Thanks to jo for editing.

© 2013 by the author.

********

Chapter 1: Destruction

Destruction, hence, like creation, is one of Nature's mandates.

- Marquis de Sade

June 24, 2011 (Friday)

Maureen poked her head out of the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, could you answer the door? My hands are full at the moment." The teenager looked up at her mom pointing at the front door and scrunched up her face. Begrudgingly she got up off the couch and removed her iPod headphones. A tall man in a suit and a uniformed police officer stood on the other side of the screen door.

"Can I help you?"

The man in the suit replied, "Hello. Is Jason Woods here?"

"Just a minute," Rose said turning around. She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "DAAAAAAD! The police are here!"

Almost immediately Jason walked out of the kitchen wearing an apron and drying his hands on a dishtowel. "What did you say?"

"Dad, the police," she smirked and pointed over her shoulder to the door. "Boy, are you in big trouble."

"Get out of here; go help your mother in the kitchen. Now scat!" He swatted at the girl's bottom as she scurried past.

"Good evening, I'm Jason Woods. What can I do for you?"

"I'm Detective Scanlon and this is Officer Pellegrino," the man in the suit said as they both held up their identification cards and badges. "May we come in?"

"Uh, sure, come on in. Pardon the chaos. My daughter's getting married tomorrow and someone forgot to tell the caterer about some south-seas poi dish or something like that, and we're doing our best to get it all together. Let me give you a bit of advice. Don't ever have daughters and if you do never let them get married. It's too expensive and they just end up driving everybody crazy."

"I heard that!" A harried woman's voice from the other room yelled.

"Crap, I'm in trouble now. Okay, so what can I do for you two?"

"Sorry to disturb you at a time like this but were you the husband of Alycia Woods?"

All the color drained from Jason's face and his arms went slack at his side. The dishtowel fell to the floor. He just stood in the entranceway looking dumbstruck at the two people standing there.

"Honey, who was at the door?" A cute middle-aged blond woman wearing a matching apron walked out of the kitchen and up alongside Jason. "Hi, I'm Maureen," she said extending her hand to the two officers. "Oops, hold that thought. Unless you want papaya all over your hands wait a minute." She bent down and picked the dishtowel up off the floor and started drying her hands. That's when she noticed the lack of color and the expression on her husband's face.

"Jason, what's going on?"

"Are you Mrs. Woods?" the officer asked.

"Yes."

"We have some news about the first Mrs. Woods, Alycia."

Now the color drained from her face and she turned to look up at her husband. "Oh God, no!"

"Mr. Woods, Mrs. Woods, I don't know if this is going to come as good news or not but Alycia Woods has been found alive and living in Washington State. We got a fax from the Seattle police department and they have her in custody related to the death of her husband. Their fingerprint check identified her as a missing person from 1987. She now goes by the name of Christine Marx but there is a positive identification. Alycia Woods is now Christine Marx."

The detective took a breath and waited for some reaction to his news. The silence in the hallway was eerie. Nobody moved. Nobody reacted. It was as though time stopped and everything froze in place. Maureen continued to look up at her husband, his eyes now glistening with tears that couldn't make up their mind whether to fall or not.

Maureen broke the dreadful silence. "Uh, thank you officer. I'm... We're... I don't know what to say. This is going to take some time to... You know what I mean. It's a lot all at once."

"I understand ma'am. We only have the one fax from Seattle but I'm sure there'll be more. We had to pull the case files from storage to understand what we're dealing with here; after all it's been 24 years. I was in grade school when all this happened. As soon as we know more we'll contact you, if that's okay with you."

"Certainly officer, call or stop by anytime," Maureen said. "We want to know what's happening as soon as you do. Thank you for coming by."

The officers gently closed the screen door as they left and slipped into the darkness. Jason hadn't moved since he heard the name Alycia. Maureen put her arms around her dazed husband and laid her head on his shoulder. When she felt a drop of water fall on the side of her head she started crying too. They stood like statues in the doorway for what seemed like hours but in reality was only a couple minutes.

A cry from the kitchen jolted one of them back to reality, "MOM, something's boiling over out here!"

Maureen looked up at Jason. "Honey, why don't you go lie down? Rose and I can finish up in the kitchen. I'll be there in a few minutes and we can talk. Okay?"

Without a word Jason turned and walked up the stairs. After he turned the corner the bedroom door quietly clicked shut.

"Why now?" Maureen lamented under her breath. "Please God tell me what did he do to deserve this. Tomorrow is supposed to be a happy day and now it's all screwed up. God, please help my Jason."

Maureen wiped the tears off of her own face with the dirty dishtowel before going back to rescue her daughter from the boiling pot.

********

An hour later the emergency cooking was done and Maureen was free to go upstairs. Darkness greeted her as she opened the bedroom door. As a bit of hall light crept into the bedroom she could see Jason sitting in the old wingback chair next to the window. He was still wearing the apron. His head was down. His hands folded in his lap. Maureen crept over and knelt in front of her seated husband. She tried to see his eyes but shadows hid them. She pressed her body into his legs and placed her hands on his and listened to his breathing. He was breathing. That was a good thing. She would wait a while before saying anything.

They remained together in the dark for what seemed like hours. This time it was an hour and not a few minutes.

Maureen looked up and broke the dark silence. "Honey, look at me, please look at me."

Jason tilted his head up an inch or two and looked down at the beauty hugging his legs.

"I know what you're going through and I understand just how much it hurts. God how I understand your pain. I don't know exactly what you're thinking but I can guarantee you one thing: I'm here for you and I will always be here. I'll never leave you. We are going to get through this together, you and me, together, the two of us."

Maybe Maureen wanted to see what she saw, but in the shadowy light of the room at least she thought she saw one side of his mouth curl upward. A smile, imperceptible as it was, was a ray of light into her heart.

"Jason, listen to me. Tomorrow is going to be a very big day, an important day, and I don't want this to ruin it for anybody. We're going to have to put on a happy face and make like the police never came, until the wedding is over. You can do this, I know you can. You're strong. If you need to you can lean on me. I'm with you on this. Afterwards we can deal with Alycia."

As he gazed down into her eyes he used every bit of will he had to force the pain into a little cubbyhole in his mind. For now his daughter's wedding was the only thing that mattered. Later he would have to visit the pain again. He would need Maureen's help but she promised to be there and he trusted her word.

Jason spoke for the first time since coming upstairs. "I love you."

He took one hand out from under hers and gently slid the back of his fingers down her cheek. "Let's get to bed. We've got to get up early and it's going to be a very long day. I don't want our daughter to see anything but smiles, that is until she finds some other last minute emergency to panic over."

24 Years Earlier

May 19, 1987 (Tuesday)

Jason sat cross legged on the floor with little Bethany in his lap watching a Disney cartoon playing on his new VCR player. Bethany was as happy as any 3-year old could be watching Chip and Dale running around crazily on the screen. Every so often she would try to mimic the same squeaky voices they had. Dad loved watching every second of it.

Bethany's older brother was sitting on the couch concentrating on his new hand-held electronic Space Invaders game. Jeremy was so involved with killing invading aliens that he wouldn't have heard a tornado go through the living room let alone the television or squeals of a 3-year old.

Jason was in heaven. And heaven was wherever his family was. On Tuesdays and Thursdays it was his responsibility to pick the kids up from the sitter. But he didn't mind. He loved spending any amount of time with them and used Tuesdays and Thursdays as an excuse to get down on the floor and play. His wife's schedule had her working late two days a week and Alycia wouldn't be home until seven o'clock, so he was also responsible for dinner. Usually that meant Sloppy Joes or Hamburger Helper or hot dogs or something that he could handle. Tonight they were having macaroni and cheese. Yum!

"Did you save me any dinner?" Alycia said standing in the doorway smiling down at the three of them.

"Mommie!" little Bethany squealed and put her hands out to be picked up. Alycia bent over and kissed Jason on the top of the head, scooped up her beautiful, squealing little girl and gave her a great big hug. Jeremy never looked up from his game.



Jason stood and groaned as he stretched out the kinks in his legs. He tried to kiss his wife but the wiggling little girl was shifting from side to side and no matter which way he went he couldn't get near her lips.

"How was your day?" Jason asked.

"Nothing to talk about: Another dead person, another estate to liquidate. How about you?"

"It just got a whole lot better," he said scurrying around behind the tall brunette and kissing her on the back of the neck. "Come on in and sit down. I saved you some dinner. Let me heat it up in the microwave."

When the table was set and dinner served Alycia sat down to eat. "Wine with mac and cheese? How gourmet can you get?"

"I just thought you would like a little something to help you relax, you've been so tense lately. Oh, and it came from a bottle, not a box. It's the good stuff."

"Wow, and it's only Tuesday. Are you trying to get me drunk so you can have your way with me? Because if you are then bring the bottle over here and keep pouring."

"All right! Let me top off your glass. "

Jason sat quietly watching Alycia eat, his eyes never leaving her. He couldn't get enough of her. The mere sight of her made his heart jump. Her touch made chills go up and down his spine. Even the smell of her perfume would make his knees weak. There was nothing about Alycia that didn't turn him into a quivering mass of jelly. To him she was the most beautiful woman on earth. She was his whole world. He worshiped her so much that everything else in his life was unimportant in comparison.

After Jason put the kids to bed he had a quiet moment to sit and enjoy his wife. They both curled up on the couch talking and sipping the last bit of the leftover wine.

"As soon as the kids settle down why don't we go upstairs and start making number three?" Jason whispered into her ear.

"Jason, I think we need to give our full attention to the two we've got right now. We've got to make sure they grow up good and strong. Any more kids and I'll, I mean we'll go nuts. Let's just go to bed and enjoy each other. Make love to me and don't worry about making more babies. Okay?"

"Yeah, I know," Jason admitted. "It's just that when I'm down on the floor playing with the little munchkins I think of how much fun we're having and if two kids are that much fun I just imagine how much more fun three or four or five would be. I just wish you would get down on the floor with me and chase them all around the room too; you'd see what I mean. I've never, ever done anything more enjoyable than that, with the possible exception of creating them in the first place. Hummmmmm."

"I'm tired and I don't want to talk about it anymore," Alycia complained as she snuggled into his shoulder pulling him tight to her body. "I just want to hold you and make love like we were the last two people left on earth, like tomorrow will never come, like it's the last time forever. Just hold me and tell me you love me."

"Ummmmmm, I love you Alycia Woods."

May 20, 1987 (Wednesday)

Jason's day at work was the usual chaotic mess. One person called in sick, another was out of town for some sort of training course, and one of the secretaries had a major fight with her boyfriend and spontaneously broke into tears about every thirty minutes. That left Jason as the only person getting everybody's work done, at the expense of his own. Things were so crazy that he worked through three emergencies simultaneously missing lunch altogether. When one of the office secretaries paged him and said he had a phone call that was the first time he had to sit down and have more than a single sentence conversation with anyone.

"This is Jason, how can I help you?"

"Hi Mr. Woods this is Tracy. I was trying to get in touch with Mrs. Woods to see what time she was going to pick up Jeremy and Bethany today but I couldn't reach her. Do you know what time she'll be here?"

"I guess the usual time, three o'clock. Why?"

"Well it's four now and I have an appointment at five thirty across town. I need to have them picked up soon."

"Let me call her and check. If I have to I'll come over and pick them up. I'll call you back in a minute."

After hanging up with the sitter Jason called his wife's office.

"M and P Estate Liquidations, Barbara Ross speaking."

"Hi Barb it's Jason, is Alycia around?"

"Hey Jason. I don't know I haven't seen her today. Wait, let me check with Harry."

The phone was set down on the desk as Barbara talked to a number of people around the office.

"Jason, I'm sorry she's not here. We don't know where she is. I thought she was out at a client's house working through their papers but Harry said that he was over there and she wasn't with him. Nobody's seen her today. I looked outside and her car is in the lot but she's not in the building. Is there something I can do?"

"Thanks Barb but no. It's her turn to pick up the kids and she's late. I'll just go get them and take them home. If she comes back any time soon tell her I got the kids and to call me."

Actually, Jason was relieved to find any reason to get out of his madhouse of an office. Picking up the kids was as good an excuse as there was. But it wasn't like Alycia to forget to pick up the kids. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday she was at the sitter's promptly at three o'clock. Today she wasn't there at all.

After getting the kids home and in front of the TV Jason called Alycia's work again. They still hadn't seen her. He called her best friend Linda and she hadn't talked to Alycia for a couple weeks. He even called his mom on the off chance that she had talked to her today. She didn't know any more than anyone else. It took a couple more calls to find a babysitter that could come right away. The young girl from down the street arrived to watch the kids and Jason got in his car and drove to Alycia's work. He parked next to her car and looked inside. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary, the usual trash in the passenger's seat and a coat and a pair of gloves on the back seat. The doors were all locked too. Jason went inside and talked to everyone and everyone was just as clueless as he was. He was starting to get a little concerned because this wasn't usual behavior for Alycia. She always let him know where she was going and if she was going to be late. She never missed picking up the kids.

When he left Alycia's work he drove around to all the shops and restaurants that he knew she frequented. She was not in any of them. When he got back home and paid the little girl for watching the kids he realized how late is was and that nobody had had dinner yet. He sat the kids down in front of a nourishing meal of fish sticks and French Fries and made a few more calls. When he called his mother again she insisted that she drive over and do what she could to help. If nothing more she could watch the kids.

Jason was really worried now. He hadn't seen his wife since he kissed her goodbye that morning. He thought about everything and couldn't come up with any clue or hint or anything that would help him figure out where she was. He couldn't think of anything he did or said wrong that would have upset her either. There was nothing, no reason, no clue, no nothing. And worst of all no Alycia.

When Jason's mom arrived the first thing she did was to start giving orders. She cleaned up the kitchen before putting the kids to bed and reading them a story. She told Jason to call the police. When the kids were asleep she came back downstairs and found Jason sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

"What'd they say?" she asked in a quiet but concerned voice.

"They said that it doesn't meet their criteria to take a report. They said that I should continue checking the jails and hospitals in the vicinity to see if she shows up."

"Oh my God, they really didn't say that did they?"

"Yeah, and a lot more. They said that they don't go actively searching for missing people. They won't go out looking for a person because someone says they're missing. And they had the gall to tell me that she's an adult and can do whatever she wants or go wherever she wants and with whomever she wants. She doesn't have to tell me a thing. Damn, it's almost like they were telling me that unless she turned up dead, they weren't going to do anything. They weren't going to care."

"Now what are you going to do?"

"I called both hospitals and she's not there. I called the police stations in all four neighboring counties and they don't have any record of her either. I called her boss again and I've got her all worried now. Nobody knows anything. She's nowhere! She's vanished like a fart in the wind."

"Jason, I know you're upset, but please watch your language."

"Sorry mom. I just don't know what to do. Every few minutes I look up and expect the door to open and Alycia to walk through. I jump at every car that drives by or car door I hear slam. I'm constantly looking out the window, but there's nothing. Mom, it's driving me crazy. I want to do something other than sit here and worry but I don't know what."

"I can't tell you what to do because I don't know either. I do know that when she comes home I'm going to give her a big piece of my mind for making you go through all this. And don't tell me I can't. I'll say my piece and she'll have to live with it."

May 21, 1987 (Thursday)

Before the sun was even up Jason was in his car driving to Alycia's work. He hadn't slept all night and he looked like hell and felt about as bad. He did take time to splash some water on his face to wash off the tear tracks before he left. Again he parked next to Alycia's car. With his spare key he unlocked the front door and got in. He checked every place; in the glove box, under the seats, behind the visors, in the ashtray, everywhere. He found no clue to tell him where she was. The trunk was no different, nothing out of the ordinary, no clues, nothing. In front there was nothing but an engine under the hood. He got back in and started the car. The radio came on with music from her favorite station. There was an almost full tank of gas. Everything was normal. He slammed his hand on the wheel and spit out a litany of curse words that any sailor would have been proud of. Then he put his head down on the steering wheel.


Death in Absentia



"Jason? I thought that was you." Alycia's boss Barb was standing in front of the car with a worried look on her face. "She didn't come home last night?"

Jason just shook his head. He didn't want her to see his face.

"Did you call the police?"

"They said they couldn't do anything."

Her concerned expression morphed into one of anger. "I'll see about that." She strode purposefully into the office and disappeared. Jason just sat behind the wheel and stared out at nothing.

It was about ten minutes later when a police cruiser pulled into the parking lot. Barb came out of the building and went over to the car and talked with the officer. After a little conversation Barb and the police officer walked over to where Jason was sitting.

Barb reached in and put her hand on Jason's shoulder. "Jason, this is my nephew, Ted Parker. He's going to see what he can do to help. At least he's going to take a missing persons report, right Teddy?"

"I'll take it from here Aunt Barb. You go back inside and we'll come in when we're done out here."

The young man was a lot different than the dispatcher on the phone the night before. He seemed interested and he seemed to care. He actually wanted to help Jason. He asked a lot of questions, many seemed irrelevant to Jason, but he answered to the best of his knowledge anyway. The officer searched the car again and looked in places Jason didn't think to look, like down in the crevices between the seat and the seat back and in the first aid box. He even removed the spare tire and looked under it. Just like Jason he found nothing. His advice was to take her car home and lock it up and not to disturb anything in it, just in case they needed to go over it again.

When they finished in the parking lot both men went into the office. Barb showed them Alycia's office and what she was working on. It was a large open space with box after box of papers and documents and photos and a lot of miscellaneous other stuff related to the estate she was processing. Barb turned on her computer and helped the officer search through the files. They found nothing obvious or helpful. The young officer told Barb to lock up her computer and if possible the contents of her office. Once he turned in his missing persons report then other officers would probably be around to go over in more detail what he had already done. He did everything he could to help allay Jason's fears but he really didn't help much. Jason was almost shaking by the time the officer left. He had nothing more now than he had last night: Alycia was missing and he was in no condition to do anything productive. He decided to go home and come back for her car later.

On the way home he made a few dozen detours. He drove all around town looking for her. He even went to places that he knew she would never go. He just drove without thinking and went wherever the car pointed.

When he got home there was a message on the answering machine. He quickly rewound the tape and listened hoping it was Alycia. It was his secretary at work asking where he was. Jason, in his haste to find his wife, had forgotten to call in to work and say he was taking a day or two off. He called his boss and explained the situation. His boss said to do what he had to do and take as much time as he needed. He had a great boss.

Jason's mom had taken the kids to the park so he was in the house alone with his thoughts. He sat at the kitchen table and had a soda. His mind was racing in a thousand directions at the same time. He had a thousand questions. What if she was lying in a ditch hurt and couldn't call for help? What if she was wandering around town with amnesia? What if someone had abducted her? What if this... What if that... What if something else... Dozens of 'what if' scenarios filled his mind, even impossible ones. When he thought what if she ran away with some other man he dismissed it immediately. That was so far from the way Alycia was that it was way beyond absurd. His head hurt from thinking. He put it down on the table and cried himself to sleep.

It was dark when Jason lifted his head from the table. The house was quiet. Usually there were sounds of kids playing or the television blaring in the living room but at the moment all he could hear was the eerie silence of emptiness. The only sign of life was a light in the living room. Jason walked into the room and saw his mother sitting in a chair next to the small lamp reading a magazine.

"Hey," Jason mumbled somewhat incoherently.

"Hi there. How are you feeling?"

"My neck is stiff and I ache all over but for the most part I feel like sh..., you know."

"I know. Look, I took the kids over to your sister's. They can spend the night there or stay as long as necessary. I told everybody what's happening and everybody's as worried as you are. I even told Pastor Benningfield and he said they will say a special prayer on Sunday for you and Alycia. Jason honey, everybody loves you and they want to help. If you say the word there would be an army of people here in a heartbeat to do whatever they can. I've moved into the spare room and I'm staying until this is all over. Now go up and take a shower. When you come down I'll have supper ready."

Jason turned to go upstairs but stopped mid-stride. He turned and walked over to his mother and put his arms around her shoulders and hugged her like he did when he was a kid and he fell off his bike and skinned his knee. Right now Jason was in need of a lot of motherly love.

May 25, 1987 (Monday)

Alycia was gone. She was nowhere. Jason spent Saturday and Sunday driving all over trying to find her. It was a good thing gas prices were back down from the disastrous gas shortage of a few years ago but still paying 95 cents a gallon was a lot. He talked to everybody she knew as well as a lot of strangers. Alycia didn't have any family close by so there was nobody on her side to visit. Her father died when she was a teenager and her mother the year after they got married. She had no brothers or sisters and all of her cousins lived scattered across the country. Jason called any distant relative he had a name and phone number for in their Christmas card list, but still nobody had seen nor heard from her. Barb helped bring Alycia's car home and spent Saturday morning talking and trying to be as helpful as possible. Sunday afternoon all of Jason's brothers and sisters and their families showed up to give whatever support they could. The day ended as most family get-togethers did, with everybody eating pizza in the back yard. It was a somber dinner but still the masses needed to eat.

On Monday, instead of going to work as he usually did, Jason sat in the backyard staring at the fence when his mother snuck up behind him.

"Jason, there's a detective here to see you."

"Mr. Woods, I'm Detective Ambrose. I've got the field report from Officer Parker and would like to ask you a few questions."

"Fine, please sit down. Would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you sir. I won't take up much of your time. Please understand that some of what I'm going to say or ask may be personal or painful but if we want to bring this case to a close then we need every bit of information we can get."

"I understand, I'll tell you what I can," Jason said in a rather despondent tone.

"I won't go over the basic information that we already have in the report but can you tell me the last time you saw your wife?"

"Wednesday morning I kissed her goodbye when I went to work, about seven thirty, I think. She was supposed to go to work herself that day but she never showed up."

"How is your relationship with your wife? Have you had an argument or was there anything troubling her?"

"Nothing. Everything was fine. Tuesday we had dinner with the kids like every other night and sat around talking and watching TV until we went to bed. She wasn't worried about anything that I could tell. We haven't had a fight for months. The best word I can use to describe things is 'normal'."

"And how are your marital relations with your wife? Is everything normal in the bedroom? I know it's a deeply personal question but we need to understand your relationship with Mrs. Woods."

"Everything was fine there too. Tuesday night we made love just like we always did. As I think back about it I can't tell you anything unusual about anything having to do with our sex life."

"Does Mrs. Woods have any close personal friends that can shed any light on her life before she disappeared or her current whereabouts? Particularly any male friends."

"I'll put together a list of all our friends and everybody she worked with for you. As to close male friends I don't think she had any. She worked with a number of men but I don't think she was close to any one of them. Her closest friend at work is her boss Barbara Ross and her best friend from college is Linda Waters. I'll give you their names and phone numbers. And before you ask, no I don't think she was seeing anybody else behind my back. That wouldn't be like her. She would never cheat on me."

"Have you checked your bank accounts and savings and the like? Do you know if any personal, sentimental items of hers are missing? Sometimes when a person disappears they take with them as much money as they can and all of the things that were important and sentimental to them."

"No, I didn't think to look at our checking and savings accounts. I'll go down to the bank and get a statement of all recent activity. We don't have a safety deposit box or anything like that. We don't have any stocks or bonds or CDs that could go missing. I'll get a listing of all activity on our credit card too. We only have one."

"Mr. Woods, do you love your wife?"

Jason paused a long time trying to figure out what he was asking. The question was too simple so it must have been a trick question. "Of course I love my wife. I'm going absolutely nuts here. I haven't a clue where she is and I can't get anybody to give a damn that she's missing. I don't understand what's going on. Hell, she could be wandering the streets with amnesia or some idiot could have kidnapped her. Of course I love my wife! I just want her home!"

"I'm sorry, but I had to ask. Have you always been faithful to your wife?"

"Of course! What kind of question is that? I love my wife. I would never do anything to hurt her or our kids. That's absolutely absurd."

"Again I'm sorry. Can you tell me where you were on Wednesday when she disappeared?"

"I was at work. There are maybe twenty people that can verify that. Go ahead and check."

"And Tuesday night? You said the two of you spent the evening watching television and talking and making love that night. Where were the kids?"

"They were in their rooms, asleep."

"How old are your kids?"

"Jeremy's five and Bethany's three."

"There's nobody else that can verify that the two of you were home that evening?"

"No, I guess not. What are you getting at?"

"Nothing, I'm just trying to figure out everybody's movement before the time you called and they found her car at work. One final question if you will, can you think of any reason for your wife to go away without a word to you and leave her children behind?"

"I've thought and thought about that and can't think of a single thing. She loves her kids as much as I do and would be devastated to be away from them. It's got to mean that she can't get in touch with us. Some nut's holding her and she can't call for help. You've got to find her before something happens to her. I'd die if anything happened. Please find her. Please."

"We'll do what we can Mr. Woods. You just let us do what we do best and I'll let you know if we find anything. When you can, get me names and phone numbers of everybody I can talk to who might have any information. And when you get your bank information let me have a copy of that too. I think that's all for now. Thanks for being so cooperative. I let you know as soon as we find out anything. Good day sir."

Jason was so keyed up he couldn't go back to looking at the fence. As soon as the detective left he jumped in his car and drove down to the bank to get the financial information for the detective. After dropping the papers off at the police station he drove around town again looking for Alycia. He didn't return until after dinner time.

July 4, 1987 (Saturday)

Six weeks ago Alycia disappeared without a trace. The Woods' household was at a standstill with Jason going through life like a zombie. His mother had to tell him when to eat and when to bathe, she even had to remind him that he still had a job and responsibilities at work. But his heart wasn't in anything anymore. There was only a huge gaping hole where his heart had been.

There hadn't been any information about Alycia. The police hadn't found anything good or bad to report. There were no unidentified bodies in this state or in any surrounding states, so that was good news. But there was absolutely nothing else. The police towed Alycia's car down to the garage and they went over it in great detail. They found nothing. The police searched their house and didn't find anything suspicious there either. There was no money missing from their accounts and there were no missing personal items. They interviewed friends, neighbors, coworkers, church members, and business owners around town. They showed her picture around at hotels and restaurants and still nothing. The net result of hundreds of hours of phone calls and interviews was zilch, nada, nothing. The police had no more of a clue what happened to her than Jason did. She just vanished into thin air. Poof!

Jason's brothers and sisters came over for the fourth of July and brought their families along in the hopes that having loved ones close would help. It didn't. In the early part of the evening somebody who wasn't exactly thinking straight asked Jason if he ever suspected Alycia of having a boyfriend. That set him off like a Fourth of July firecracker. He began yelling and screaming at everybody and even took a swing at his oldest brother. Three men had to physically restrain him and take him into the house. He continued to scream and yell at everybody until his mother pushed past the throng of bodies and stood face to face with him. He even screamed at her until she wrapped her arms around his chest and began hugging him. Jason stopped screaming and started uncontrollably sobbing on her shoulder. Everybody quietly retreated and left the two of them alone with their tears.

The most horrible thing was that Jason had no idea if Alycia was alive or dead. He had nothing! If she were dead then he would have a body to mourn over. If he found out that she had run away with another man then he might be able to someday get past that. He would hate it but at least he would know something. And not knowing was a lot worse than knowing. There couldn't be closure without knowing.

September 8, 1987 (Tuesday)

Alycia has been gone for almost four months. The police put her disappearance on the low priority list but sent the necessary missing person's information to the FBI in Washington. They had done everything they could and there was nothing else to do. She was gone and they had to worry about other more pressing matters.

Jason was still a walking zombie. He went to work and did what he had to but wasn't nearly the same enthusiastic employee he had been before. He went to the grocery store when there was nothing left in the house to eat. He played with the kids. When he had to mow the lawn he mowed the lawn. Occasionally he drove around and looked for Alycia and felt emotionally drained when he returned. Wherever he went he would look at the people in crowds and would imagine seeing her among the faces. Whenever he saw her it was only in his imagination. She was gone.

Jason had an appointment after work to meet with a counselor. Jason preferred the term 'counselor' instead of 'psychologist.' He didn't want to believe that he was crazy, just very sad. The counselor was a specialist who dealt with people losing loved ones, either through divorce or death or, as was Jason's case, disappearance.

For a full hour Jason poured his heart out to the man sitting across from him. Once in a while Doctor Harper would ask a question to clarify something Jason said but for the most part he just listened and took notes. Jason broke out in tears several times but all the good doctor did was to push a box of tissues over to him. Jason left exhausted. The doctor sat back afterwards reviewing his notes and knew exactly the steps that he needed to have Jason go through to get back to some semblance of normal. It was going to be a long journey for the both of them.

"How did your first session with Doctor Harper go?" Jason's mother asked as soon as he sat down at the table to eat.

"I don't know. All he did was listen to me ramble on and on and on. He hardly said a word. I hope every session isn't going to be like that because I'm going to soon run out of things to say."

"I understand he's the best man out there for this kind of situation. Just be patient with him and remember that he's there to help you. You can't do this by yourself. Now be quiet and eat your dinner."

"Yes, ma'am."

December 25, 1987 (Friday)

Alycia has been gone for seven months. It was Christmas day, a day of good will and good cheer to all, all except Jason that is. The sessions with Doctor Harper have been helpful. Jason understood that Alycia's disappearance was exactly like the death of a loved one. The stages of grief were the same. The only difference was that with death there was a body, something tangible to touch and grieve over. With a disappearance there were only memories to grieve over. Closure was much more difficult. Jason was in the process of coming to grips with his depression. The depression had to be conquered, or at least compartmentalized, before he could accept what happened.

Jeremy and Bethany were downstairs unwrapping their presents at six a.m. Jason and his mother stumbled down the stairs when they heard the whooping and hollering below. For the first time in months Jason smiled. He smiled watching the two youngsters dive into the sea of presents. For a moment everything in the world focused on two little children under a decorated pine tree sitting among a pile of wrapping paper. For a moment everything was as it should be. Then Alycia entered his thoughts and his smile disappeared.

"Merry Christmas Son," Mom said as she held out a box wrapped in bright red paper.

Jason took the box and looked up with another smile. He reached under the couch cushion and pulled out a small box of his own. "Thanks Mom. Here's your present. Merry Christmas."

Jason unwrapped his present, a new camera. He never owned a good camera. He had a small box camera that all you did was aim it, shoot, and advance the film. This was a top of the line Canon EOS Rebel 35 mm camera with all the bells and whistles, and lots of boxes of film.

"I want you to take a lot of pictures of my grandchildren. I want to spend my last years looking at the albums you created and see your kids grow up in those pictures. I want you to get out and go places with them, live again, play with them, do all the things you need to do to come back to the living. Maybe you can even teach me how to use that thing and I can take pictures of you with the kids."

Jason looked down at the treasure in his hands. He understood exactly what it was. It was a tool to help him see his kids and enjoy life again and maybe with something like that he could move forward rather than stand still and wallow in his misery. It was the best present he had ever received.

"Open your present," Jason implored.




Death in Absentia



She opened the little box and found a gold charm bracelet inside. Each link in the chain was a different letter of the alphabet spelling out 'THANKS FOR EVERYTHING -- LOVE'. Hanging down from the letter chain were seven charms; one for each one of her children. She looked up at Jason and smiled ear-to-ear. Only when Bethany wobbled over and tried to take the gold bracelet for her own did she wrap it around her wrist and clamp it shut. It was hers and it meant the world to her. Her son was coming back from an unimaginable tragedy that stole him from everybody. "Thank you God," she thought to herself.

The kids were playing with their new toys and Mom was making breakfast so Jason snuck away to the den and closed the door. He was sitting at his desk reading one of the papers from a pile on top when Mom knocked gently on the door and opened it. She looked at what he was doing and then up at him.

"I just want you to know that I'm not a snoop or a busybody but I do clean up around here occasionally. I know what that is. It's your will. I won't apologize but I read it. I think what you're doing is a fine thing making arrangements for Jeremy and Bethany's welfare after you're gone. It's the right thing to do. But I also take out the trash and I found a note in the trash can that told me that you're thinking of a lot more than their welfare. You're thinking of your own death. You're planning something that I can't even imagine. Now don't try to tell me that I'm an old woman and I'm thinking crazy thoughts, I'm not! You are! If you think that your kids would be better off without you then you're the crazy one. They've already lost their mother, don't make them live through the loss of their father too. Think of the people you leave behind, the pain and the suffering you would cause them. Think how it felt when Alycia left. We would feel just as bad as you did. Think about us. Don't do what you're thinking about doing, I beg you."

Jason looked down sadly as he listened to the wisest person he'd ever known. He was embarrassed that she was right. He was a fool for even thinking about what he was planning to do. He would have to talk to Doctor Harper about that after the holidays.

"Come on, breakfast is ready," Mom said solemnly.

May 20, 1988 (Friday)

"Jason? What are you doing here?" Barbara Ross came over and put a hand on his shoulder.

They were both standing in the parking lot of the office where Alycia worked a year ago. It's been exactly one year since she disappeared. It's been a pain filled, awful year for Jason. The worst part was telling two very young children that their mommy was never coming home again. He had to say that she wasn't in heaven when they asked in their own childlike way if she had died. He couldn't say where she was. He just cried and hugged them. He cried a lot.

"I don't have anywhere to go," Jason sobbed. "When someone dies you can go to a cemetery to visit them on birthdays and anniversaries. When someone just up and vanishes there's nowhere to go. Alycia disappeared one year ago today. I thought that I'd go to the last place that I knew she was, here in this parking lot. I don't know what else to do."

Jason stood with his head down and his hands jammed deep in his pockets. He was openly crying. With one foot he pushed around a small pebble on the asphalt not knowing what else to do. One year later and the pain was as real and as intense as it was the first day.

Barb came over and put her arms around the stricken man. "Come on inside. Let me get you a cup of coffee. Maybe Harry has something stronger we can put in it. We'll celebrate the life of our friend together."

Arm in arm they walked across the parking lot and into the little office building leaving a trail of tears in their wake.

 Chapter 2: Ghosts

The ghosts of the past which follow us into the present also belong to the present moment. To observe them deeply, recognize their nature and transform them, is to transform the past.

- Trich Nhat Hanh

June 25, 2011 (Saturday)

"What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Jenni and Tom kissed for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Littleton. Jenni's sisters, Bethany and Rose, smiled from one side and her brothers, Jeremy and Robert, from the other. Tom's two brothers and two sisters filled out the octet of bridesmaids and grooms on the dais. Everything was beautiful. So far everything had gone off without a hitch.

Maureen tightly held onto Jason's arm as the bridal procession walked past on the way out of the church. Jenni winked as she strutted down the aisle noting the tears running down her mother's face and the broad proud smile on her father's. This was the happiest day of her life. She knew nothing about the anguish boiling within her parents.

The reception was lavish, the food exquisite, and the band loud. Everybody continually complimented the parents of the bride for having such a lovely daughter. Jason was the epitome of a proud, happy father. But Maureen was always two steps away keeping a watchful eye on him. Everything went flawlessly. As the reception began to wind down, with only the serious party-goers still dancing and drinking, Jason and Maureen snuck out through the kitchen and found an empty picnic table under a stand of trees where they could sit and relax for a while. Maureen sat on the bench and put her head on her husband's shoulder.

"That was the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen," a very proud mother said as she scanned the area for prying ears and eyes. "And we were pretty great too. We smiled the whole time and nobody ever suspected a thing. How are you doing?"

"My face hurts. I think I've used smile muscles that I've never used before. There was no way I was going to let anything ruin this day for our little girl. If I had to super glue a smile into place then I would have done it. Four down, one to go."

"Huh? What's that mean?"

"Four kids married off and only our little Rose still at home. When she's gone then we can take that second honeymoon that we've always talked about. Sunny Italy - gondolas, cathedrals, pasta, wine, and all the things we see in the travel brochures. Just you and me in a little countryside villa drinking wine and making love, all day long."

"Ummmmmm, that sounds wonderful."

The breeze gently blew through the trees as the two wedding refugees sat quietly holding each other close. There was a calmness about them that was like the calm before a storm. It was quiet and peaceful at that moment but they knew that soon there would be a raging torrent of strife and emotions. But that was tomorrow. Today was all about love and beginnings and celebration. Tomorrow would be here soon enough.

"Jason, do you ever think about our wedding?"

"Once in a while, whenever I need a pick-me-up. That was one of the happiest days of my life. Marrying you made me a whole person, it made me happy again. Why do you ask?"

"You ever had any doubts?"

"Never! I knew from the very moment I met you that you were the one for me. You took some convincing, but I knew right away. Thank God for friends like Cliff and Iva. If they hadn't taken pity on us then we probably wouldn't be here now."

"Yeah, they are good friends. I wasn't sure about their invitation that weekend. I thought I was just the poor old widow lady with two kids that they felt bad for and invited to their barbecue. I almost didn't go. I didn't know until much later that they asked me to come so I could meet you. Iva told me that they thought we might hit it off and could possibly help heal each other's pain. Boy they were they right."

"And Cliff told me that there would be a beautiful lady friend of theirs attending that I had a lot in common with and had to meet. I thought you would be a mental case like me, but what he meant was that we both had two kids and had lost our first loves. When I saw you dripping barbecue sauce all over your chest, I was in love."

Maureen looked into his eyes and repeated the words that she had said thousands of times before, "I love you too." The quiet echoed with her words.

June 27, 2011 (Monday)

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mrs. Woods, this is Officer Pellegrino from the county police. I'm calling to let you and your husband know that we have more information about Alycia Woods. If it would be possible we would like you to come down to the station so we can tell you what we know. We'll be here until six o'clock. How about five?"

"I'll call my husband and get his okay but I think we should be there at five. If we don't call back then expect us there then."

"That sounds good. Oh, and just so you know the Seattle police are very interested in talking to Mr. Woods too. See you at five."

Jason and Maureen walked hand-in-hand into the South Side precinct station at exactly five o'clock. Detective Scanlon met them at the front door and led them to a conference room on the second floor. Officer Pellegrino was already sitting at the table looking over some papers.

Detective Scanlon started things off. "I'm glad you could come. Mr. Woods, we've got some more information to share with you about your ex-wife. I know this might be painful and if you need to take a break at any time just let us know and we'll stop. Before we get started, would you like something to drink? A soda or water maybe? I wouldn't recommend the coffee."

"A soda would be nice," Maureen spoke for the both of them. "Diet if you have it."

When everybody had their drinks in front of them Officer Pellegrino started the briefing.

"Mr. and Mrs. Woods, here's what we know. The Seattle police department sent us a large file about Christine Marx, or Alycia Woods as you knew her. As we told you the authorities detained her in connection with the death of her husband. Mrs. Marx was married to Thomas J. Marx. He was a long distance truck driver and they lived in a suburb of Seattle called Cottage Lake. Mr. Marx died last week when an acetylene tank exploded as he was doing some welding on his truck. The police suspect that somebody tampered with the valve. They're waiting for the results from the coroner's office and the crime lab but in the meantime have detained Mrs. Marx. As part of her processing they checked her fingerprints against the FBI database. They came back belonging to a 1987 missing person from Baltimore, your ex-wife. At that point they knew they had stumbled onto something other than what it appeared to be. With some further checking they found out that she had been married two times before in California and Arizona. Each of her previous husbands also died under mysterious circumstances. Based on what they found out so far they declared her a flight risk and placed her into custody. There are no formal charges yet but since she's a suspect in a homicide investigation they are holding her until they get the results necessary to charge her or let her go. Mrs. Marx works for a travel agency near where they live. A check of her finances shows that she's a fairly wealthy woman. The Seattle police are currently piecing together her movements between the time she went missing here in Baltimore and when she showed up in Washington. They have agreed to forward everything they find to us just as soon as they finish the paperwork. With all the information about people nowadays it shouldn't be too difficult to trace her movements."

Detective Scanlon interrupted at this point and said, "How are we doing folks? Do you need to take a break for a few minutes?"

Maureen had been holding Jason's hand all during the talk. Even though she felt a tense grip it wasn't cutting off circulation so she figured he was okay to continue.

"I think we're okay for now," Maureen replied.

"Okay let's continue," Officer Pellegrino said. "It appears that she got most of her money from her two ex-husbands. She sold their businesses after they died. She doesn't have any children that they can find, except for the two she left behind with you. They couldn't find any blood relatives so we faxed them the list of friends and relatives that you gave us back in 1987. Mrs. Marx has never had a police record in any jurisdiction where she lived. She seems to have been a model citizen these past 24 years. She does have an extensive travel record and her passport has numerous visa attachments. She seems to be quite the world traveler. Well, there isn't much more except that they sent along her mug shot if you would care to see..."

"No thank you," Jason said forcefully putting up his hand.

"OK, then that's all we have at this point except that the Seattle police are anxious to talk with you. They have your phone number and may be calling you sometime soon. We sent what records we had from the original missing persons case to their office this morning and hopefully that will help their investigation into her movements. Do you have any questions?"

Maureen looked over at Jason who was shaking his head 'no.' "Thank you for everything," Maureen said to the uniformed officer. "Feel free to call us any time."

When they left the building the warm summer air was like a slap in the face compared to the air conditioning of the office. It was a refreshing slap, one that calmed Jason down and he was able to release his grip on his wife's hand. They walked to the parking lot and got into their car.

"That wasn't so bad now was it dear?" Maureen asked.

"Uh... Oh... I don't... No, it wasn't so bad," he said finally able to spit out the words. "I don't know what I expected but I was scared of what they were going to tell us. But it wasn't too bad. Thanks for being there for me."

The drive home was silent.

June 30, 2011 (Thursday)

Jason came in the back door and set his briefcase on the table. Maureen was startled when she heard the thud and came running into the kitchen.

"God, you scared me. I didn't know what that was."

She kissed him on the lips gently making that smacking sound that says that wasn't a real kiss, just some formal greeting using their lips.

"Did you talk to them?" she asked standing with her body pressed against his.

"Uh huh."

"Well, what did they say?"

"They asked me a bunch of questions that were already in the report and then they said that they wanted me to fly out there and meet with her."

"What did you tell them?"

"I said I'd have to think about it. I don't want to but I may have to."

"Well if you do then I'll be right beside you every step of the way."

July 6, 2011 (Wednesday)

Jason and Maureen stood outside the Decatur Street precinct doors too afraid to go in because they both knew what was inside: Jason's past and a lot of pain. A young woman in a police cadet uniform opened the door and asked, "Mr. and Mrs. Woods? Welcome to Seattle. If you would follow me I'll show you to the meeting room."

Stiffly Jason and Maureen walked down the hall behind the young woman.

"Wait here please. I'll let them know you're here." She disappeared inside the door.

From outside they could hear a lot of talking, first a man's deep voice and then the higher pitch of a woman. The tone was argumentative and getting louder by the second. The door opened and for the first time in 24 years Jason saw Alycia. She was standing in front of a table with her hands planted on top of the black surface yelling at the uniformed officer on the other side. She looked older and a bit heavier but exactly as he remembered.

"I said I've changed my mind. I don't want to see him. Not now, not ever. Don't you understand English?"

Jason stood in the hall staring at the spectacle on the other side of the doorway when she turned and looked directly at him. Time stood still and silence once again filled the room. Nothing happened for the longest time, nobody moved, nobody breathed. They just looked at each other and remembered.

Slowly but deliberately Alycia sat down and said, "Please close the door." The door closed denying Jason his salvation.

"NOOOOOO!!!" Jason screamed at the closed door. "You can't do this to me again. You can't just disappear like that again. It's not fair." He threw his body against the door banging his fists against it trying to knock it down.

Maureen threw her arms around the hysterical man and tried to get him to look at her, to see her, to come back to her, but he was so insistent on talking to Alycia that he couldn't hear or see anything else. Suddenly from around the corner two uniformed officers ran in and tackled Jason. They wrestled him to the ground as he screamed "you can't do this to me again, you can't do this to me!" After a couple minutes Jason relaxed enough for them to pull him into another conference room. Maureen followed them in sobbing deeply as she watched the man she loved dissolve before her eyes.

It took an hour for things to get back to normal. There were apologies all around. The two uniformed officers apologized because they thought that they had some nutcase criminal going berserk in the hallway. Jason apologized for getting out of hand and taking a swing at one of the officers. Jason especially apologized to Maureen who he ignored completely as she tried to help him.

"I'm so, so sorry. I lost it. I lost everything. I hurt you and I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you and don't want to do anything like that ever again."

Even though she was deeply hurt there was still love in her eyes as she asked, "Can we go home now?"

 Chapter 3: Renaissance

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.

- Mahatma Gandhi

September 24, 2011 (Saturday)

Maureen opened the front door only to find her worst nightmare standing on the other side.

"Hello. I'd like to see Jason please." Alycia said without a hint of emotion in her voice.

Maureen visibly stiffened as she stood holding the doorknob unable to think of anything to say. The cause of so much pain and suffering stood just three feet away separated only by a flimsy screen door. The one and only time she had seen Alycia was under Jason's arm before he went berserk in the Seattle police station. All of the things that she dreamt about doing to this woman flashed through her mind; decapitation, disembowelment, strangulation, hot scalding oil, beating her to death with her fists, and other similar brutalizations. She could never do any of them but in her mind she often thought about the possibilities. Now that she stood face to face with her nemesis she found that couldn't act on any of them. She could only be who she was.

"He's not here," Maureen finally spit out with an icy tone. "He went shopping with his daughter. Why are you here? What do you want?"

"I would like to talk to him. I didn't expect what happened in Seattle and I think we need to talk, to settle things."

"Well he won't be back for quite a while. Why don't you leave your number and I'll tell him you were here and if he wants to he can call you."

"I... I'm traveling at the moment and don't have a number where I'll be staying yet. Can I come in and wait? I won't get in your way; I'll just sit quietly until he gets home. You don't have to do anything."

"I don't know if I should."

"Please, you won't even know I'm here."

Maureen tried to think of all of the scenarios where letting her in would be the wrong thing to do but in the end she couldn't believe that any would actually happen. And if Jason missed the opportunity to talk with her and get some of the answers he's needed for so long then she couldn't live with herself. But letting the two of them talk might be worse. It could open doors to other problems. After weighing the good and the bad she simply said, "Come in."




Death in Absentia



Maureen led her to the living room and Alycia followed like she didn't know the way. She did of course because she lived there 24 years ago, with Jason and their two children.

"You can wait here. I've got something in the oven."

Alycia looked around the room as she took off her jacket. Nothing about the room was familiar to her. The last time she had seen it the walls were an ugly green and the carpet beige and stained with the usual mementos kids leave behind when they play. The only thing she recognized was one item on the bookcase behind the couch. It was an antique microscope that she and Jason found in a flea market shortly after they got married. It brought back memories of the two of them going around to antique shops and flea markets and yard sales on the weekends to find just the right treasures to fill their house with. That all stopped when the babies were born.

She looked over the bookcase and saw an old 35 mm camera in a glass case sitting next to a stack of photo albums each with a different year printed on the spine starting with 1990 and ending with 2008. Sitting on top of the glass case was a modern digital Canon camera.

Alycia walked over to the fireplace and looked up at the large family portrait over the mantle. It was your typical studio portrait with everyone wearing white and sitting barefooted in an idyllic pasture, smiling and pretending to be having a casual picnic. It was a beautiful picture of six people that she didn't know and Jason. He looked happy and the way his hand touched his wife's spoke volumes about their connection. Alycia remembered that connection with him. She felt it a number of times with other men since then but there was nothing like the first time. Your first was different, more intense, and something that you'll always remember.

"That's Jeremy and Bethany on the left," Maureen said from the doorway. "Robert and Jenni are on the right; they're from my first marriage. The little one in the middle is Rose, she's our daughter, and a whole lot taller now. I'm not supposed to know this but right now she and her father are out shopping for my birthday present."

Maureen walked into the room with two cups of hot tea. She held one out to Alycia.

"Go ahead. I promise there's no poison in it. As much as I would love to, I wouldn't do anything to hurt Jason."

Alycia took the cup and looked up at the portrait again. With a sad tone in her voice she said, "They're all grown up now. Jeremy looks just like his dad and Bethany has my eyes. I didn't know I would feel anything if I saw them again, I wasn't sure, but I do. I'm... I feel... I can't explain how I feel. But it looks like Jason did a good job raising them, and you of course. Are they good people?"

"They're wonderful kids. They're both married now. Jeremy and his wife are in the Marines and Bethany is a school teacher with a little girl of her own, and another on the way."

The two women stood in silence sipping their drinks. Each was looking over the other sizing up their opponent. The atmosphere was still chilly but it wasn't the arctic freeze that it was at the front door.

Maureen saw a tall fifty-something year old woman with long brown hair pulled back into a ponytail that ended in the middle of her back. She wore jeans and a heavy multi-colored ski sweater, looking like she was on her way to a ski lodge. Expensive looking cowboy boots completed the classy outfit. The silver buckle on her belt and the bracelet on one arm had a southwest feel to them, something like a tourist would buy from a Native-American gift shop, but a fancy gift shop. She wore little make up and still had attractive features and bright blue eyes.

Alycia looked at Maureen and saw everything she never wanted to be, a housewife in her mid-forties wearing non-descript slacks and a university sweatshirt with an apron around her waist. Her hair was pretty, blond and cut to flatter her face and striking violet eyes. The tennis shoes she wore had seen better days. She wore no make-up but she didn't seem to need any. Her face had a rosy glow and the smoothest, creamiest skin imaginable.

"How long have you two been married," Alycia asked.

"Fifteen years now."

"And you have the one daughter?"

"Yes, Rose, she's our pride and joy."

"I thought Jason always wanted a large family. I remember him saying he wanted a dozen kids."

"Let's go sit down. If we're going to talk then at least we should be comfortable."

The two women choose opposite sides of the coffee table, Alycia in the lounge chair and Maureen on the couch.

Maureen continued, "He did. When we got married I already had two children that Jason adopted. When Rose was born he said that we should have another but we talked about it and agreed that five was plenty. There was never any more discussion after that. He was never really serious about having a dozen kids."

The two women paused to sip their drinks and to breathe. They were still tense but breathing once in a while helped to make them relax a little.

Alycia peered up over her cup and asked, "Do you know everything about me?"

Maureen pondered the many different ways she could tell her just how much she knew but decided to be honest and take a direct approach. "I know everything about you. Jason told me everything."

"Then you know that I didn't want kids."

"No, I didn't know that! And if I didn't know then Jason didn't know either. If you didn't want kids then why did you get married? You had two kids, why did you have them?"

Alycia looked down at the drink in her hands and said, "I loved Jason. We had a lot of fun together. I thought we would be able to do all the things that I've always dreamed about; you know, travel, visit exotic places, climb mountains, ride motorcycles, go to Paris and climb the Eiffel Tower, see the Pyramids, all the things I grew up reading and dreaming about. But when I found out I was pregnant with Jeremy, Jason started in with all his plans for a house, schools, decorating, all that domestic stuff. I knew that we would never be able to do all the things I, well we, dreamt about. We were going to be stuck with kids and jobs and a mortgage and responsibilities and would never see Paris or the Pyramids. Shortly after Jeremy was born I was pregnant again with Bethany. That made Jason the happiest man in the world. But all I could think about was being stuck at home and becoming a baby factory. All I could think about was a house with twelve kids running around in it. I was miserable. "

"Did you tell Jason this?"

"We talked about it, but Jason was so happy all the time playing with the kids and showing them off to the neighbors that I didn't want to disappoint him by telling him that I didn't want more. I knew that it would hurt him if I said that, so I don't think I really said it exactly like that, I just sort of intimated it."

"He never knew that you didn't want to have any more kids? Don't you think that was something he would have liked to know?"

"I said I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't make him unhappy."

"So you just left him? Leaving him wouldn't make him unhappy?"

"No... Yes... No... It wasn't like that. I didn't want to hurt him. I had dreams that were spoiled when the kids were born. I wanted to do all the things I've always dreamt about and I wanted to do them while I was still young enough to enjoy them. I knew he wouldn't be able to do anything as long as we had the kids so I thought it would be best if we separated."

"And you told him this?"

"No, not really. He could see how unhappy I was. He had to know what was coming."

"Jesus Christ! Do you think he could read your mind? You thought he knew? How could you be so stupid? He didn't know a thing! He loved you! He loved the kids! He never saw anything coming!"

Alycia was steadily looking down into the cup of tea as Maureen leaned over the coffee table and lambasted the woman for her stupidity. All of a sudden Maureen realized how close she was to strangling this idiot of a woman. She took in a long, deep breath and sat back on the couch looking into her own cup.

It took a long while for the tension to dissipate enough to talk again.

Maureen asked, "So tell me if you will how you accomplished the impossible, to disappear into thin air. That is one thing that had everyone baffled, even the police."

Alycia actually smiled as if she was proud of what she did. "It was quite simple really. I worked for a company that helped people liquidate the estates of family members who died and left a lot of stuff behind. Most people didn't want to bother with going through all the furnishings and personal items and papers that people tend to accumulate in their lifetime, so we did everything for them. In a pile of papers of one of the estates I was working on I found a birth certificate for a woman that was just a few years younger than me. I asked one of the family members about her and found out that she was a mentally and physically handicapped woman who was living with relatives. They said that she had no chance of living a productive life; she was destined to live with relatives until she died. Her name was Christine Barnett. That gave me what I needed to make it all work. I had a birth certificate so I used it to get a driver's license and after that to apply for a social security number and then a credit card. I even bought a decent used car using my new identity. I cashed in a bunch of bonds no one knew about that I got when my mother died so I had enough money to do everything I needed to do. When I left to go to Charlie's I became Christine Barnett."

"You talk so casually about leaving as though you were going to the grocery store and buying cereal. Your planning must have taken weeks or months. It wasn't some spur of the moment decision; you planned this and executed it with outstanding precision. But you had no clue what you would be leaving behind, did you?"

"I thought about it but I knew that everything would be okay. Jason would be okay. He was a good father and would take good care of the kids. Sure he would miss me for a while but he would move on and looking at you it looks like he did okay."

Everything stopped and Maureen just sat there looking amazed. Then her expression changed to one of curiosity. Her brow furrowed and her mouth puckered and her violet eyes looked daggers at the woman.

"I think I almost missed something here," Maureen almost hissed the words she spoke. "Who was Charlie?"

"Oh, I guess I skipped that part. Charlie was one of the family members of another estate I was working on. We became close while working on his aunt's paperwork. He lived in Texas and when I left I went to be with him."

"Just how close were you two?"

"Uh, well, let's just say we were good friends and leave it at that."

"No, we're not going to leave it at that! Either you tell me everything about you and Charlie or I'm going to come over this table and beat it out of you!"

"Okay, okay, you don't have to threaten me. It was a long time ago so it won't matter what you know. Charlie and I were lovers for a few months before I left. We saw each other a couple times a month, usually at the Holiday Inn over in Ellicott City. We had a good time together and he promised to take me to see the world and climb mountains and explore Fiji when I left Jason and we were together. About that time I found Christine's birth certificate. A couple months later I had everything I needed so I went to Texas to be with him. The only problem was that he already had a wife and family so I just kept on driving. I ended up outside Phoenix, and... well..."

"YOU CHEATED ON JASON?"

"I guess you could say that. I had already made up my mind to leave him anyway it's just that Charlie sped things up a bit and gave me somewhere to go. It didn't work out exactly as I planned but it was too late to go back."

"AND YOU NEVER LOOKED BACK?"

"I felt bad about leaving two kids with Jason but I knew that he could handle it. He was a strong man and raising kids would be easy. Sometimes I did feel guilty about the whole thing but I just looked forward and tried not to let the past interfere."

"AND THEN?"

"Well, eventually I married a man who owned a motorcycle shop in Phoenix. We had a lot of fun traveling all over the southwest and Mexico and even up into Canada. He died while driving in Texas when his Harley hit an armadillo that threw him in oncoming traffic. I sold the motorcycle shop and moved to Sacramento. A few years later I met and married a man who owned a small vineyard in the Napa valley. I learned all about making wine from him. We traveled extensively in Asia and the South Pacific and Alaska when he went around promoting his wines. He developed a particularly bad type of cancer and committed suicide when everything got really bad for him. We were together for eight years. I sold the vineyard and moved to Seattle where I met Tom. Tom was a long haul truck driver. I used to go with him on some of his deliveries. We had a lot of fun until a welding tank blew up in his face. The police thought that I was some kind of 'black widow' because my husbands died tragically. It was all just some kind of bureaucratic mix-up. But they found out about my real identity and Jason. At first I didn't want to see him but they persisted and eventually I agreed. When I knew that he was outside the door I got cold feet and said I didn't want to see him. I heard his screams outside the door when it closed. I'm sorry I did that to him. I don't understand why he would say those things and go all crazy like that."

Maureen was boiling mad inside. The only outward sign was a steely eyed gaze and the flexing of her jaw as she gnashed her teeth. She couldn't believe what she just heard. Here was a woman that was once married to the man she loved more than anything in the world and she talked about men and love like it was food passed around at dinner; take a scoop, enjoy it while you have it, and go on to the next course. Get what you want and move on. Maureen couldn't think straight she was so mad. The only thing she could think to say was...

"So I guess you never saw Paris?" The question was quite sarcastic in its tone.

"Oh, I went to Paris with Gordon, or was it Gary? Anyway he was just a friend. I went to Fiji with Elroy and Egypt with someone else whose name I can't remember at the moment. I've been a lot of places and seen a lot, but not as much as I dreamt about when I was a kid. I want to see everything and do everything before I die. The place I loved the most was a little village in Italy just outside Florence called San Gimignano. I spent a month there with Pablo. That's where I'm going now. I have a flight that leaves from New York in two days for Florence. I'm going to try to find a little villa in Tuscany to live. After that, who knows?"

"Quite the little slut weren't you? So how many men did you sleep with while you were married to Jason?"

"I never even looked at another man, except Charlie, until after I left. I was a good wife."

Maureen's mind was still swirling and she was still mad enough to squeeze a lump of coal into a diamond. If there had been a gun handy then there would now be a corpse sitting in the chair on the other side of the room. But, no gun, no weapon within reach of any kind. She thought about what to do and say when the light bulb flashed on over her head.

"Excuse me; let me get us some more to drink."

Maureen picked up the two cups and walked into the kitchen. She was tempted to throw the cup Alycia was drinking from out the window but it's been stuck shut for the last few months, something Jason has been promising to get around to fixing. Instead she just set the cups in the sink and got out a clean pair. When she returned to the living room with fresh tea she retook her seat on the couch and started talking.

"Well you've been gracious enough to tell me all about your exciting life since leaving Baltimore so I think it only fitting that I tell you about ours," Maureen said with the slightest sneer on her face.

"Well, let me start on the day you left. That was a Wednesday, May 20th to be exact. The sitter called Jason all worried when you didn't come pick up Jeremy and Bethany so Jason went and picked them up. He waited for you to come home but you never showed. He called everyone he could think of and nobody had seen you all day. They found your car in the parking lot at work and it looked like you just vanished. Your friends at work were looking for you, Jason was out riding around looking for you, and the police got involved when Jason insisted and pestered them about you. For the first few days he was frantic. He kept imagining that you were lying in a ditch hurt and unable to communicate. He imagined that someone kidnapped you and this pervert was sexually assaulting you in a garage somewhere. He even imagined that you had run away with a traveling salesman and left him and the kids behind. Boy, he was pretty close on that one. But anyway he was a mess. The newspapers printed a story about you and intimated that Jason may have done away with you and hidden the body. For a while the police thought that too. His mother moved in here to take care of the kids and to help with whatever he needed. What he needed was you. But there wasn't a trace of anything to say where you were. Jason said that you had disappeared like a fart in the wind.

"Eventually he went back to work. That helped to bring some sense of normality to his life again. But he was never the same. He would go out on searching expeditions on the weekends, he called everybody you two ever knew, he pestered the police in every county in Maryland, and he even put missing person ads in the local newspapers. Nothing! Not a clue.

"Christmas time that year was particularly hard for him. He was seeing a therapist by then but it wasn't helping much and he was very depressed. So much so that he planned to commit suicide. His mother found out before he did anything drastic and talked him out of it. You should know that at no time did she ever say a negative word about you. She and Jason both hoped that one day you would come home again.

"Everywhere he went he thought he saw you. Then one day he just gave up. Everybody had done everything possible to try to find you. But you were gone. His life was empty. He felt that his life was over. He had to explain to Jeremy and Bethany that you were gone and not coming back. They thought you were dead but he told them that you weren't in heaven; he didn't know where you were. He asked them to pray that you would come home someday. You didn't.

"On the anniversary of your disappearance, on May 20th one year later, your old boss Barbara found Jason in the parking lot where you worked crying and talking to himself. He was beside himself and Barbara helped to get him inside the building. She tried to talk to him and even gave him something to drink but all he did was sit on the floor and sob. He kept saying 'please don't leave me' over and over and over again. They couldn't get him to stop crying and finally had to call the paramedics. They took him to the hospital where he spent THE NEXT THREE MONTHS IN A PSYCHIATRIC WARD. HE HAD A GODDAMN NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. Today its called post traumatic stress disorder, just a fancy name for losing his mind; same problem, different name. Whatever you call it Jason flipped out and lost his grip on reality. All because of you. ALL BECAUSE YOU UP AND DISAPPEARED LIKE A FART IN THE WIND.

"When you left him you did it in the most devastating way possible. You couldn't have found a more rotten or despicable way. If you had blown your brains all over the living room walls with a shotgun then at least he would have had a body to mourn over and to bury. If you had slutted yourself all over town, screwing every man you could find, and laughing in his face about it, he would have been humiliated and devastated, but at least he would have a good reason to let you go. Either way would have been a hell of a lot easier than just vanishing. You ripped a giant hole in his life and there was nothing to patch it up with. He went crazy for a while. And the only people that stood by him were his family and his boss at work. Everybody else wrote him off as a nut case.




Death in Absentia



"It took the better part of a year for him to get his mind back together. He was under psychiatric care for years after that. And in all that time he had no idea what you did, or why. You couldn't have broken him more completely if you had run him over with a bulldozer.

"Three years after you disappeared, somebody suggested that he file for divorce and move on with his life. He couldn't do it. He always held out hope that one day you would just show up at the door. He almost lost it again at that point. It was some seven years after you vanished that he was fit enough to make the decision to move on with his life. It was the hardest thing he had ever done when he filed the paperwork to have you declared legally dead. In legal terms it's called 'death in absentia.' It almost killed him too, letting go of you after all those years. He had every one of his brothers and sisters, his mother, his boss from work, and even his therapist beside him when he had to appear before the judge and explain the reason why he wanted you declared dead. It was a solemn day for everybody and there were tears enough all around to fill a swimming pool. But he did it, he persevered and he moved on from you.

"Jason and I met at a barbecue at a mutual friend's house. I had lost my husband a couple years before in a car accident and Jason had been stumbling through life without any purpose after your death. They introduced us and left to see what would happen. We talked for the rest of the day. Afterwards we started seeing each other as friends and occasionally went places together with our kids. What happened was the kindest man in the world helped me to understand the tragedy of my husband's death and gave me something to look forward to. After we got to know each other better he said he wanted to marry me. But he said he would ONLY do it if I heard his complete story first. Up until that time he hadn't said very much about you or his problems. We rented a little cabin in the woods near a lake and he spent the next two days telling me every detail about his mixed up, screwed up life. He even told me about the mental hospital and his counseling sessions. He spent almost the entire weekend crying and talking. I felt so sorry for him. I felt angry toward you. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so heartless and cruel and do to him what he told me about. It was beyond belief. On the third day we just sat by the lake and held hands. We didn't say a word. On that day I fell in love with him and have loved him more and more each day since. We married a year later. Rose was born the following year. We chose to name her Rose because she symbolized our love and rebirth and even though a rose has thorns we knew that whatever thorns we would encounter in life we would meet them together. Together, the two of us, until the day one of us dies.

"I've lived with your ghost ever since I met Jason. A ghost that has haunted us as a family ever since you vanished. An evil ghost. A ghost of the unknown. I don't know what's going to happen today but I pray to God that you are exorcised from our lives once and for all.

"Just know this. I would never abandon him like you did. I love him more than you ever could. I'll be beside him forever. You almost killed the kindest and gentlest man I've ever met, just by going poof into thin air."

Maureen sat back and unclenched her fists. She was so angry she was shaking. But she said it, she said her piece and hopefully that cruel, heartless bitch sitting across the room understood a little about what she had done. If she still had no clue then there was no hope for her, she was nothing more than a rabid dog that had to be put down.

"I... I never... I didn't know. I couldn't know that just leaving him would cause so much pain."

"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T YOU STUPID, SELFISH BITCH! All you were thinking about was you, how much fun you were going to have, and all the men you would have in your bed. HOW COULD YOU BE SO GODDAMN SELFISH?"

The two women just stared across the room in silence.

"Mom, we're home, where are you?" came the call from the front entrance. "You wouldn't believe what..." Rose stopped immediately seeing the brunette sitting across the room. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we had company."

"Where's your father?" Maureen asked.

"I'm here," Jason said as he came up behind his daughter. "What's going..." The sentence was unfinished when he saw Alycia across the room. Even though her head was down there was no mistaking it was her.

"Hello Jason," she muttered looking up at him.

He just stood motionless with his mouth open.

"Uh Rose honey, why don't you call Olivia and see if you can go over to her house for a little while?" Maureen asked. "You can show her your new iPhone."

She shooed the young woman out of the room and stood in front of Jason looking him square in the eyes. She whispered softly "Jason, look at me. You need to do this. You can do this. You're strong and I know you will do what you have to. Just remember that I will never leave you, but right now I'll be up in the bedroom. If you call I'll come running, but I don't think you'll need me. Now just sit down and talk to her. Please?"

Jason focused on his wife and a little tear appeared in one eye. She was right. He had to do this no mater how much it hurt. He would be okay as long as his wife, his love, was near by. Removing the smile she gave her husband she put on a steely sneer and turned to look at the woman in the chair across the room one more time before going upstairs and closing the door. If looks could kill then the brunette would be dead where she sat.

********

It was almost midnight when Maureen heard a car pull up out front. She leaned forward in the old wingback chair and looked out the window. She saw Alycia walking down the front walk and getting in the taxi parked there. It drove away and she sat back and relaxed waiting for her husband to come up.

An hour had passed and she was getting worried. She started to get up and go down to find him when the door opened. Jason walked in looking like a little boy whose puppy had just died. It was obvious that he had been crying because of his puffy, red eyes. But they were together now, the two of them in their bedroom. He never said a word. He just walked over and knelt in front of his wife wrapping his arms around her legs. He put his head down on her lap and let out a sigh. She reached out and stroked his hair as he breathed quietly. They didn't move for the longest time.

Maureen broke the silence by whispering, "Are you okay?"

He lifted his head and looked up into her eyes. "Yeah, actually I think I am. It went a lot different than I had expected. But it's over. She's gone and we'll never have to worry about her ever again. Right now I feel like I've had a 24 year old weight lifted from my shoulders. I've still got a lot to process but I think everything will be okay."

She smiled a crooked smile not knowing whether she was happy or sad.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she whispered.

"Yeah, a little. But tomorrow I want to go over and see Mom and I'll tell both of you all the details, at the same time. Right now I'll give you the high points. I don't know if you two talked before we came home but she told me the reason she left. You won't believe it. Do you want to hear now or tomorrow?"

"What did she say?"

"Get this. She said that she had a number of affairs with men almost since the day we got married, maybe a dozen or more over the years, even when she was pregnant. She said that I never satisfied her in bed and found that other men could ring her bell a lot better than me. She met men at work, at bars, and even one in the grocery store. She said that after she left she had an endless stream of men in her bed and even wound up marrying some of the better lovers. She sounded like she was bragging! I never had a clue. It sure puts her in a different light now. I could never have imagined she was a slut like that. God, what a horrible person I married. I was so in love with what I thought she was and thought she should be that I never saw what she really was, a down right sneaky whore."

"Oh my God! Did she really say all that?"

"Yeah, and she seemed quite proud about it, arrogant almost. She didn't seem to have any remorse about anything. She never shed a tear or apologized. The worst thing was that she never asked about Jeremy or Bethany, at all. What a heartless bitch! I'm sorry that I ever wasted a second worrying about her when I should have been here for my family. I'm so sorry she ever came between us. Nothing like that will ever happen again."

"It's over and we can go on with our lives now. I love you Mr. Woods. I always have and I always will. Take me to bed and hold me."

They stood and held each other tightly the way lovers do. No words were necessary, they communicated with a touch, a man and a woman, so much in love, hearts beating in unison. Maureen thought about the lies that Alycia told, lies that would allow the man hugging her to be whole again, to once and for all exorcise the ghosts and demons of his past. Everything would be okay from now on. A smile crept up on her lips as she hugged him back.

Jason whispered, "Tomorrow on the way over to Mom's I want to talk about that second honeymoon I've been promising. We deserve it so I'll take the time at work and we'll go in the spring. What do you think about that?"

"Sounds wonderful, except that I'm not so enamored with Italy any more. What do you think about Tahiti?"