64 comments/ 172493 views/ 19 favorites Consequences - Erin By: thecelt This is the second in a series of stories about the consequences people suffer when they make a choice. There is no sex in this story. Thanks to Angel Love for her editing. * Erin and I had been married for just over 12 years last month. We had no children and we both were content in our careers. We first met at a seminar on business accounting and we found we had a lot in common. She was then an engineer, working for a medical device manufacturer and I, Paul Warner, was a Senior Manager for a company that made hospital equipment. We had dinner and made plans to see each other after the meetings were concluded. We lived only a few miles apart and both worked in Newark, NJ . We continued to see each other after the conference and we became a couple soon after. Both of us were very dedicated to our careers and we shared a love of good food, good wines, good music, good restaurants and travel. We were able to take advantage of all of these during our dates and we finally knew that we were a perfect match in so many ways. I finally asked her to marry me on one of our evenings out to a very fancy restaurant we both enjoyed. I had help from the staff and the ring was placed very prominently on the top of a slice of chocolate cake. It had white icing and the ring was standing upright, clearly visible when the plate was placed in front of her. When she saw the ring, her face glowed and as she looked up at me, I took her hand in mine and proposed. She accepted and we were married 3 months later. Erin was a process engineer which meant she spent a lot to time traveling to different sites to help install and debug new manufacturing equipment. I know this was a strange career for a woman but she had worked her way into the job early on when she graduated with a degree in chemical engineering. She liked the mechanical part of her job and took every chance to work on equipment design and installation. Over the years, she had gained a reputation in her field and she was now highly regarded and well paid. I was more of an executive type. I had started in business with an oil company as an accountant and worked my way up the ladder until I was finally able to enter the job market with a good job history and lots of experience. I was offered a job as the VP of Finance for a small packaging machinery operation and I gained even more experience. After 10 years in the field, I took the job as CFO for a major manufacturing company. We lived in a nice home, not very large but just right for the two of us. Since Erin traveled quite a bit, we had a housekeeper who maintained the place. She had been with us for almost 5 years. She was an older woman who had three children that she was helping through school so she was dedicated to her job as a source of much needed money. She was honest and hard working and we both adored her. All of this is just to let you know who we are and what we are about. Nothing much our of the ordinary and our life was almost as typical. One would think that we were bored much of the time but that simply wasn't true. Erin and I would try almost anything at least once. We had done a wide range of things. We had tried sky diving, bungee jumping, scuba diving, golf, hiking and camping. One time we rented a couple of motorcycles and we spent a week, just riding around the countryside. We traveled extensively when the time allowed, vacationing or on business. We accompanied each other sometimes when Erin was in the field or when I traveled. We enjoyed all of them but none were obsessive. We just had time to enjoy ourselves and we made enough money to indulge in most of them as often as we liked. We had discussed the idea of children shortly after we were married but jointly decided not to have any. It was a mutual decision and neither of us were the least bit sorry about it. After 12 years, we still were content with each other. That was until just about 6 months ago. I noticed little things. Those things that you take for granted and never think twice about. Like our Saturdays. We liked to sleep in late on Saturday and then get up just long enough to fix a couple of sandwiches and some soft drinks and then we would run back to bed and just lay around until late afternoon, reading, maybe watch a little TV and fool around with each other. We had sex most times if we were in the mood or we would just get each other off if we weren't. Erin liked oral, both giving and getting and so did I. So we would either have a good hard sexual workout or we would give each other oral. One or the other. But the last five Saturdays she expressed disinterest except on two occasions and then it was just oral. Erin initiated it so that I knew she didn't want sex. Then there was our usual pattern of having sex once or twice a week, usually going to bed early so that we could get in a good workout and still get a good night's sleep. We had a solid sex life and it had settled down to a routine over the years. Again, that was how it had been but not for the past several months. We started to have sex less and less and then it was down to only on Saturdays. It happened so slowly that I didn't notice it but it began with the 'I'm awfully tired' or 'I have to be up early tomorrow' from Erin. I never mentioned it because I didn't even notice at first. I had never had occasion to doubt Erin or her fidelity. Even though she traveled a lot in her job, and usually with other men from the company, I had never once doubted her. She would do the little things: she would call at odd times, always called in the evening just before bedtime to talk or to tell me about her day and never failed to answer her cell if I called. If she said she would be home at a certain time, she was always on time or she would call to explain why she was late. Her secretary always knew where she was at any time and would contact her for me if she was in a remote plant. She always called me back right away. No doubts. But recently I noticed that the phone calls became less and less and she seemed to be having to travel more than before. They were short trips and she excused the lack of calls by telling me the time was tight and she didn't have much spare time to chat or make unnecessary calls. Suddenly I was an unnecessary nuisance? Now, things were becoming strained between us. I finally decided to have a talk with her that night at dinner. I had to know what was wrong and what I could do to make it right. I left work right on time and drove home, filled with anxiety. I was worried that something might be seriously wrong and Erin was afraid to tell me, but I had to know. I made it home just as she arrived. We went in together. It was my turn to fix dinner so I had ordered Chinese takeout which I put on the table with some soy sauce and salad fixings. It was one of her favorites so she was pleased. We ate in silence and enjoyed the food. We finished early and cleaned the dishes together. As usual. I enjoyed the closeness and the companionship and the sharing of chores that had come to symbolize our relationship. I had forgotten how much we shared. That thought caused a small kernel of pain to form in my gut and it wouldn't relax. We took our coffee into the den and sat down, her on the couch with her legs tucked under her and the cup sitting on the coffee table, me in my recliner with the side table holding my cup. Again, our usual. I looked over at her and noticed for the first time some wrinkles around her mouth and eyes, sure signs of tension. I decided it was time. "Erin, I wanted to talk to you about some things. Is it OK to do it now?" Erin looked over at me with some surprise but no anxiety or concern. "Of course. You can talk to me anytime. What's up? You look so serious." "I'm worried and a little afraid. I don't know what's wrong and I have tried to think of anything that could be bothering you but nothing comes to mind." Erin now showed a little anxiety demonstrated by a frown, a tightening of her mouth and a narrowing of her eyes. I watched the anxiety quickly disappear and her face take on a quizzical look. "I don't know what you're talking about. What in the world makes you think that something is wrong or bothering me? I'm just fine. There is nothing wrong that I know of." "Then why has our lovemaking suddenly gone from several times a week to hardly ever? Why do you no longer want to make love on our Saturdays? Why are you always so quiet now? You never want to just sit and talk and you are in bed and asleep long before I get there. Everything is different now and I don't know why!" I hadn't intended to get so emotional but once I started, it all came out. It had been building inside me for months and now it overflowed. The pain that had begun with dinner, now was a full fledged fire burning in my belly. I poured it all out and finished with a tear falling down my cheek. I watched Erin's face, waiting and hoping for some rational explanation of what was wrong but all I saw was a slow flush of red that started in her cheeks and spread down her neck and across her face. She suddenly couldn't maintain eye contact with me and looked down and away. It was at that moment that I first began to suspect that my wonderful world was about to collapse into smoking ruins. I waited for the end. But instead of answering me, Erin suddenly jumped up and ran out of the room and to our bedroom. I heard the door shut and then nothing more. I sat there, stunned and alone. What the hell just happened? Was that my answer? She was afraid to tell me the truth because it was so terrible? I believed then that something was seriously wrong and she was afraid to tell me. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there, too afraid to move. I sat there for over an hour, trying to get the nerve to go up and force her to tell me the truth when I heard the door open and Erin coming back down the stairs. I held my breath while she came back into the room and sat down on the couch as before. I watched her and waited for her to speak. "Paul, I'm so sorry. There's nothing going on that you need to worry about. I've been very upset lately over some things going on in the company. I'm afraid that I might be out of a job very soon if things don't change. I guess the worry and the uncertainty has made me a wreck. I wasn't aware that you even noticed and I apologize for making you worry so. Can you forgive me?" I considered what she said with some skepticism but I had no reason to doubt her. I looked inside to see if what she said fit with what I had seen and experienced and found her explanation to be far short of the likely truth. But, I had no proof of anything else so I decided to let her go for a while longer and see what she would do now. "Of course I forgive you. I'm so glad that's all it was. I was afraid there was something wrong with your health and I was so worried. I even thought that you might be having an affair and that accounted for your lack of interest in sex. I guess I imagined all sorts of things. I'm sorry about the job but you are good enough to get another job probably with a better pay level somewhere else. As a matter of fact, I think you should either stay home or look elsewhere for a job with less stress." At the mention of an affair, I saw her eyes widen and her color pale just for an instant and I guess I knew then. But I didn't let on and I let her talk some more about the job and listened as though I believed her. I knew in my heart that she was lying through her teeth but I let her go on. When she finished, I decided to make an attempt to give her a chance to save what I still believed was a good marriage. "Erin, there is something I want to say. I need you to listen to me. If there is something wrong with our marriage or our sex life, I need you to tell me. If you are unhappy with me, tell me. But don't cheat on me or our marriage. I could never accept that. There is no way we could survive that. I will do whatever you want me to do to make things better but I will never forgive an affair." This time she didn't react to the term affair but she did listen to me. I could tell almost the exact moment when she decided not to tell me the truth. I saw her face tighten and I saw her eyes narrow, just before she put a smile on her face. "You're being silly now. I would never cheat on you and there is nothing wrong with any part of our life together. You are just tired and depressed and you are thinking bad thoughts. Just let them go. You know how much I love you. There is no one else for me." I listened with a smile on my face but I was planning on finding the truth. Let her believe she had me fooled. That night, Erin wanted to go to bed early and have sex and I was more than willing. If she was having an affair, I decided I might as well get some too. Erin was a very experienced lover and she demonstrated it to me that night. We had oral and then we had sex, something we rarely did. Erin was trying as hard as she could to convince me. I let her try. Things went pretty much back to normal for the next two weeks as Erin remained committed to convincing me that things were alright. I watched and waited, knowing I would see some sign when she was ready to stray again. That sign came a week later when she told me she had to go to the Toledo plant for a two day run. She said she would go by herself but only have to stay two nights and she would be back on the third day. Since this was nothing out of the usual, I made no mention of it. She was all over me that night and the next two nights before she was to leave. She packed a small suitcase and I drove her to the airport that Tuesday. She was catching a flight out that would put her in Toledo by 4:00. She said she would be alone on this trip and would call me when she got there. I suggested she wait till about dinner since I had a meeting at 4:00. I kissed her goodbye and watched her rush into the airport to make her flight. Rather than wait with her, I just dropped her off and told her I was going to return to work, but I had plans that she was unaware of. I had booked a flight that left an hour later on a different airline that put me in Toledo just past 5:30. I knew the hotel she was staying in and I had booked a room there as well. I wanted to see what I could see but if I got caught, I had this plan to tell her I wanted to surprise her with a nice dinner and maybe some lovemaking. It was lame, but I didn't have much experience at this spying stuff. During the flight, I made a list of the people she normally traveled with and added Addison Croft, her boss. Once there, I would check to see if any of them were registered. Clever, I thought. I checked in at just past 6:00. I wanted to get to my room, dress casually and then wait in the lounge to see if I could see Erin or any of her colleagues that I might recognize. I knew it was a long shot but what the hell. Sooner or later, I would see her and I could then see who she was with. As I was on my way back down in the elevator, she called on my cell. "Hi, honey, it's me. I'm checked in at the hotel and I'm going down to dinner now. I hate to eat alone but that's better than room service. How was your meeting?" "My meeting was fine but too long. I hate for you to have to eat alone but I guess it's necessary. How was your flight?" "OK. It was on time and that's the best you can hope for. Well, I won't keep you. I plan to be late at the plant tonight so I probably won't call later. Is that OK? I don't want you to worry. And, if you really need me, you can still call my cell. I'll keep it with me." "OK, babe. Take care and don't work too late. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodbye." I hung up and found a nice seat in the lobby just out of sight of the elevators. I could see them but all I had to do was sit back in the chair and no one could see me. I grabbed a local paper and settled in to wait. I watched for the next 15 minutes and was about to give up and go check on names at the desk when I spotted her getting off the elevator. I slid back a little and raised the paper in front of my face but continued to watch. I was not disappointed. As she stepped out of the elevator, Addison was right behind her. He had his hand on her back and she was walking very close to him. They moved past the lobby and went in to the restaurant section. The way she was dressed was not appropriate for a plant run! I waited until they were inside and then I casually walked over to the divider that separated the restaurant from the lobby and glanced in. I spotted them just being seated in a booth toward the back. So she was eating alone tonight? That was the first lie she told me. I wondered what the next one would be. There was a coffee shop off the lobby where I took a seat and waited, watching the exit to the restaurant. About an hour later, I watched them leave, him again with his arm around her waist and her leaning against him. They walked to the elevator and as they entered, I saw him lean down and kiss her. She reached up to put her arms around him as the doors closed. Now I had my answer. I waited for just over 20 minutes and decided to call her. I made up a small emergency about a doctor's appointment I knew she had made for next week. I called her cell and waited. She answered on the fifth ring and sounded out of breath. "Paul? Is that you? What's wrong honey? I told you I was going to be in the plant this evening." "Sorry to bother you but the doctor's office called and wanted to know if you could change your appointment for next week. I didn't know what your schedule was so I told them you would call tomorrow. Are you at work?" "Yes, and thanks. I'll call them to change it. I can't really talk now so I'll call you tomorrow. Goodnight and thanks." One last chance for her to see what she was doing to us. "You're welcome and I love you. Remember what I told you a week ago? Please don't do anything you'll be sorry for." "Paul! Of course not! I love you too, so stop! Goodnight." So, she was working. I bet she was working. Working on Addison's cock I bet. So now I had the rest of my answer. She was cheating on me with her boss and she was going to continue. Nothing I said to her earlier in the week meant anything. I gave her another chance tonight but she lied then and she lied tonight. Well, I was not going to accept this. We were over. Our marriage was done and I would end it now. No more lies. I thought about it for the next few hours trying to decided on what I would do. I wanted to know why she had done this to us. I knew she didn't care anymore but why couldn't she have simply told me she was no longer in love with me and asked for a divorce? Why did she have to humiliate me this way? What did I do to her to make her do this? I was so angry at her that I decided to call her room and ask her. After four rings without an answer, I remembered that she was in Addison's room and would probably spend the night with the son of a bitch. As I slammed the phone down, I decided. The hell with why! It made no difference now. I pulled out a sheet of the ever present hotel stationary and the little cheap pen that had their name on it and wrote a letter, intending to give it to the desk to leave for her. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I wrote it carefully and folded it neatly in an envelope and marked her name on the outside. By the time she read it, I would be home and far enough away that I could let my anger flow. If I were with her, I would probably hurt her and I didn't want to do that. I called reservations and booked a flight back home for the first thing in the morning. I could be home by noon and ready for whatever was going to happen. I spent a restless night knowing that my wife was fucking another man in this very hotel, but was up and gone by 6:00 am in time to catch my flight. So far no calls so Erin had not bothered to go back to her room that night to see the message light. I had expected no less. Consequences - Erin Ch. 02 For those of you that read the original story, Consequences – Erin, and were disappointed with the original ending, this is for you. I deliberately left it open in the original story because endings always leave some people dissatisfied, but the original story itself left a lot of people dissatisfied. So, here is my ending. You asked for it! Edited as always by Angel Love. Thanks to her. Consequences -Erin- Epilogue This is Erin's Story. My name is Erin Troy. I've been happily married to Paul Troy for more than twelve years. We have no children but that has been our choice. Neither of us wanted to take the time out of our lives to raise children since we both love our careers. Maybe that was selfish but it was our choice. Anyway, we had a good marriage and we were both successful in our fields. I was a process engineer for a Medical Device manufacturer. We made surgical trays and we were a vertical organization. That means we manufactured most of the contents that went into the trays and we assembled the final device as well. My job as a process engineer was to set up the assembly methods for the trays as well as the processes that went into manufacturing the pieces that were included. As such, I spent a lot of time traveling to the individual plants and working with plant personnel to perfect the procedures. Since we were a medical device manufacturer, we had to worry about GMP and FDA compliance procedures. That was part of my job. I normally traveled alone and I had contacts at each of the plants that made my arrangements. I had been doing this now for over five years and I was good at it. I was well respected in my field and I was known by many of the inspectors and traveling compliance engineers. But, in all that time, I had never been tempted to stray and I was sure Paul hadn't either. Even though we decided against children, our love life was good. We had always enjoyed sex and neither of us was too adventurous. We pleased each other and that was enough. We had a routine of sorts, especially on Saturday mornings. We would stay in bed and we would have sex. Since I loved giving Paul oral sex, it was often enough just to do that. He would return the favor for me and then we would just enjoy being together the rest of the time. At other times, it was fun, just holding each other, occasionally letting our hands wander until we gave in and had hard satisfying sex. For some reason, I had been more and more uneasy about my job recently and Addison Croft, my boss had been making some comments about cutbacks and reorganization. While I was good at my job and knew I would have no trouble getting another one if cutbacks did occur, I was still uneasy. I had more than five years in here and I was in line for one of several different promotions. I would hate to give that up. But, I continued working and let the worry take a back seat. What I wasn't aware of was the effect it was having on me and my personal life. I didn't see the changes that were occurring. The changes began shortly after our twelfth anniversary. Paul had taken me out to dinner and dancing and the evening was wonderful. We got home late, both of us in the mood for some heavy loving and we spent the remainder of that evening and most of the next morning either in bed, in the shower or somewhere on the floor, making love. It was a wonderful time for both of us and we pledged our love for each other again. Three weeks after that wonderful evening, Addison called me into his office. When I arrived, he told me to come in and to shut the door. I did as he requested and settled myself for something important. I respected Addison as a competent engineer and a good administrator. Under his reign, we had introduced several new products and our business was growing. So, I didn't expect anything bad at this time. I waited. "Erin, I wanted to tell you that I appreciate the job you do for us. You are more than a good engineer, you are a great innovator and some of the changes you have made in our processes have resulted in big cost savings for the company." I nodded in thanks. So far, this was what I had expected. "The reason I called you in was to tell you that we have to cut back on some of our positions and I wanted to ask you for your input. I've been asked to cut 15% off our overhead. That means about seven engineers have to go. I value you and your opinion so I would like your input." This was not good news and as I realized what he was asking, I understood that I was being put in a terrible position. When people were let go, they would think I was a part of the decision. "Addison, I really would rather not have to do this. These people are my friends and I don't want to have to make that kind of decision. That's why you're the boss. To make the tough decisions." I smiled to try to make the comment light but it wasn't. He knew it as well as I. "But the decision has to be made over the next three to four months. I'll have to begin evaluating everyone, including you. But, if you were to help me, I could exclude your name from the list of possibilities." This was something I would have to consider. While I wasn't afraid of being let go, I didn't want to go into the job market at this point in my career. I knew if I could stay a while longer, Addison's job was a strong possibility. And I wanted his job. So, I had to think. "Give me a few days. I need to think about this. I'm sure I'll probably help you but I need the time to get accustomed to it. It's a lot of responsibility." "Fair enough. Let me know. I know you and I can work together and I think we have a lot in common. It could be a very profitable exchange for both of us." His smile was not one of encouragement. It was one of suggestion and I knew what he was suggesting. I was almost relieved now that it had come out. I knew that Addison was interested in me. He had made it clear over the few years we had worked together but he had never made any moves that could be considered harassment. Now it seems he had the opportunity. I had a lot of thinking to do. At home, I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that I was going to be in real trouble if I accepted the challenge to help Addison Croft. I knew he had ulterior motives and I knew what they were but that didn't bother me as much as the idea that I could be responsible for someone losing their job. That was really getting to me. So much that I forgot our Saturday ritual and I even forgot sex until Paul initiated it. Even then, I was so distracted that it was more a chore than a pleasure. Paul didn't say anything and I just forgot it. My mind was somewhere else. I put off the decision for almost two weeks during which I avoided sex with Paul. Somehow, I equated him, sex and Addison, all together. Doesn't make any sense but that's how my mind was working then. Finally, Addison called me in and asked for my decision. I had no choice: I told him I would work with him. He was delighted and gave me a big hug, but the hug was too intimate and I broke it off almost immediately. He just smiled and moved back. This was just the beginning. I could see that in his eyes. Over the next month, I worked my job as usual but Addison was always in the background, calling me into his office, standing too close to me as we studied cost analysis sheets or work schedules and touching me every time he walked past. In his office, it was always a touch on my shoulder, one on my butt, just inappropriate touching. I didn't respond but neither did I say anything to stop it. It was beginning to get to me and I knew that he was going to make his move very soon. I understood that from his comments at our last meeting when he told me that it was time to make the first preliminary list of employees to be eliminated. The trips to the plants were my only relief. Away from Addison and away from Paul. Paul was an issue because of my guilt, and the days I worked in the office with Addison nearby were becoming hell on earth for me. If I hadn't wanted his job so badly, I would have quit right then. But, I was too ambitious to do that. I also knew that I had been neglecting Paul at home. The whole idea of sex was beginning to turn me off and I couldn't separate love with Paul and sex demands by Addison in my head. I was a wreck and Paul was the victim. I knew I should talk to him but I felt I had to work this out on my own. I began to avoid both of them when I was on the job in the plant. I even stopped calling Paul at home. Traveling, I felt safe and relaxed. The people I worked with knew my work and respected me. No demands other than work related. Paul mentioned my lack of phone calls and our love life was suffering at home but I couldn't find a way to fix it. I was becoming a nervous wreck and my work began to suffer. This only made matters worse when Addison began to pick up on it and make insinuations about adding me to the list. I avoided him more and more but he just applied more pressure. The last two weeks had been especially bad. Addison had me in his office repeatedly to go over the list, pick three more names and finalize the list for submission to corporate. At the end of the last meeting, Addison came around his desk and put his hands on my shoulders. I was standing, facing the board with the list as he stood behind me. As I tensed, he pulled me back against him and pressed against me. He mumbled something about my being tense and his hands were kneading my shoulders. I could feel his erection pressing into my back and I tried to pull away but he held me tightly. As I struggled, I was causing more stimulation to his already hard cock and he moaned into my ear. I stopped moving and held myself rigid. But that was enough for him as he ground himself against me, moving his body up and down, masturbating himself. I remained rigid, not knowing what to do. Did I scream, fight him, somehow push him off or did I simply allow this to happen? The decision was taken out of my hands when I heard him groan and drive himself against me with a force that indicated he was climaxing. His hands dropped to grip my hips and pull them tight against him. His weight forced me against the wall and his cock was moving up and down between my cheeks as he came. I kept my eyes shut as he finished and fell against my body. Without any words, he finally moved back and away, going to his desk and sitting. When I finally turned around, my shame showing in my face, he was looking pleased and relaxed. "Well, I think we accomplished a good deal here today. The list is preliminary but it is ready to submit. I'll do that tomorrow. This is good for you Erin. There are a lot of positions open now and you should fit nicely into one of them. That is the reward for your assistance." His smile was cruel and vicious and I could see in his eyes that he felt I was now under his control. I looked back at him, closed my eyes and thanked him. "Thank you for your support Addison. I'll get back to work now. I have a lot to do." "Why don't you take the rest of the day off Erin. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I left for the day, with thoughts of what he had done to me running through my head. The only thing I felt was shame. Shame that I had let it happen, shame that he felt he could do it to me and I would allow it, and shame that I had done this with another man. Paul was the only man I had ever made love with and now, Addison wanted to change that. And my ambition had led him to believe he could. Today was confirmation in his mind. I had been thinking about my behavior for hours and that evening it was Paul's turn to make dinner. I didn't even have that to distract me. It was with some relief that he told me he had ordered Chinese. Something I liked might take my mind off my problems. But after dinner, Paul seemed distracted. I wondered about it but decided he would tell me if something was wrong. I had settled down on the couch after the dishes were finished when Paul looked at me with some concern. I wasn't surprised when he spoke. "Erin, I wanted to talk to you about some things. Is it OK to do it now?" "Of course. You can talk to me anytime. What's up? You look so serious." "I'm worried and a little afraid. I don't know what's wrong and I have tried to think of anything that could be bothering you but nothing comes to mind." I didn't want this conversation now. I was too distracted to think and I didn't want Paul to become suspicious of things. I had to try to distract him. "I don't know what you're talking about. What in the world makes you think that something is wrong or bothering me? I'm just fine. There is nothing wrong that I know of." "Then why has our lovemaking suddenly gone from several times a week to hardly ever? Why do you no longer want to make love on our Saturdays? Why are you always so quiet now? You never want to just sit and talk and you are in bed and asleep long before I get there. Everything is different now and I don't know why!" This was too close to home. I didn't want this now! I had to make some decisions on my own and this was not something I could discuss with Paul. He wouldn't understand what had happened and I couldn't explain it to him. I was too confused and upset. Why was he doing this to me now! Instead of answering him, I had to get out of there. I ran upstairs to our bedroom and shut the door. I had to think! I had to come up with something that would explain my behavior. Oh, why had I let it go this far? Was I so greedy and ambitious that I would let this happen just to get ahead? I needed answers for myself and I needed answers for Paul. I had to think! I decided on half truths and partial explanations. I decided to let him know about the cutbacks but not my part in the process. If I could make him think that I was just concerned and worried, he would back off. I needed time to fix everything. Paul had to understand. I went back down and into the family room. Paul was still sitting there. "Paul, I'm so sorry. There's nothing going on that you need to worry about. I've been very upset lately over some things going on in the company. I'm afraid that I might be out of a job very soon if things don't change. I guess the worry and the uncertainty has made me a wreck. I wasn't aware that you even noticed and I apologize for making you worry so. Can you forgive me?" Paul listened and I saw what I believed to be understanding. He finally said that he was relieved and told me that he had suspected all kinds of bad things. I listened with a lightening of my heart as he spoke of these things but suddenly he mentioned an affair. At those words, my heart stopped and the blood drained from my face. I had to get myself under control! No affair had happened! What I did was not the same. I had to get control! Paul continued with a warning of what would happen if I did have an affair and his demand that I talk to him if something was wrong with our marriage. He was being very careful not to accuse me and not to give me any reason to think that he knew anything but I was still worried. This time I was able to control my feelings when he mentioned an affair or cheating. I was under control by the time he finished. While I had heard him very clearly, I had to let him know it was unnecessary to worry about anything. "You're being silly now. I would never cheat on you and there is nothing wrong with any part of our life together. You are just tired and depressed and you are thinking bad thoughts. Just let them go. You know how much I love you. There is no one else for me." I decided now that I had better make the effort to get our sex life under control and to make sure it didn't happen again. I had been neglecting Paul out of worry and concern for my own job and my own greedy needs, but it had to stop. I decided to make love to Paul tonight just to remind him of my love for him. He couldn't doubt that. There was no reason to and nothing I had done or would do would change that. I would show him. Our sex life improved over the next two weeks as I put my heart and soul into convincing Paul how much I loved him and our life together. Paul was more relaxed now that things were back to normal and I was beginning to hope that they could remain that way. Addison left me alone at work now and I hoped that since the list had been submitted, he no longer could make demands on me. Whatever the reason, things were almost normal between us now. Nothing more was said of the episode in his office. I let it drop as well since I wanted it to go away as if it had never happened. I got a call from the plant manager of the Toledo plant that he was going to schedule an assembly run of a new tray setup and asked me to be there. It was a two-day run and should be simple. I agreed and made my arrangements for the trip. I let Addison know as usual and he approved without comment. I was set to go and let Paul know where and when. Just to be certain not to give him reason to worry, I was a tiger in bed the next couple of nights. I actually loved it as I was almost out of control. The more I tried to convince him of my love, the more I began to enjoy it. We did some things I had never been willing to try before and found a couple I liked. All in all, it was a good time. I left for the plant on schedule Tuesday afternoon, taking the early flight so I could get settled and make a trip into the plant to make sure everything was ready for the run tomorrow. Paul drove me to the airport and let me off without coming in. He wanted to get back to work for some meeting he had. That was fine with me. I would just check in, grab a bit to eat and relax before the flight. The flight was on time, I checked in and went to my room. I planned on going down to the coffee shop and just getting a sandwich when my phone rang. I thought it was Paul and I answered with a laugh. But, it wasn't Paul! "Erin, this is Addison. How are you?" "Ah, I'm fine Addison. What can I do for you?" "Why don't you come to my room and we'll discuss it? I'm here in the hotel in room 334. I'll see you in a few minutes?" "Yes, of course." I hung up confused and suddenly frightened. What was Addison doing here at the hotel? Why did he need to see me? What was going on? I knew I had to go and confront him but before I did, I needed to think! What was going on? I sat down on the bed and slowed my breathing. I took several calming breaths and then began to think. It was clear that he was here to collect on what he thought I owed him. There could be no doubt. If I went to his room, he would try to force me to have sex with him to honor what he thought was my commitment. That couldn't happen. I was not going to cheat on Paul even if it meant my job. No job was worth my marriage. With that decided, the next thing was to see if there were some way I could work my way out of this without losing my job. I wasn't for sale but I didn't want to give my job away either. With that thought, I remembered my pen-recorder. The one Paul bought me for Christmas. It looked like a pen but if I pressed the top, it would record my voice. It had a good memory and I could record up to seven minutes of conversation. It would pick up a voice from as far away as three feet. If I plugged it into the little memory stick that came with it, it would record almost 20 minutes. It used a small, almost invisible cord to connect. I put the pen and the memory stick in the purse, and checked to be sure nothing showed. That should do it. With that decided, I went down to Addison's room. I knocked and he opened the door almost immediately. "Well, if it isn't my own little engineer. Come in, come in." I moved past him into the room. It was almost identical to mine and I took the chair at the desk, facing him. I put my purse, opened on the desk and pushed the record button without him noticing anything. He sat on the bed and looked at me. Consequences - Erin Ch. 02 "I think you know why you're here. In case you're wondering about the run, it's been cancelled. I called John and told him to reschedule it for next week. I told him you couldn't make it. So, you and I have two nights together. You can thank me for saving your job." "Addison, I believe my work was better than most and that's what saved my job. I just helped you as you asked. Nothing more was promised." "You forget that the list I turned in was tentative. I can still change it. If you won't show me how much you want to keep your job, I'll just have to reconsider your name. Is that what you want? Why don't we have dinner now while you think about it." "What is it you expect me to do? I thought that day in your office was enough for you. You left me alone after that." "That was nothing. Just a little down payment. And you didn't have to do anything but stand there. I did all the work." "All right. I'll think about it over dinner. I really want to keep my job. Is this really the only way I can continue working for you? Only if I give you sex?" "The only way." "OK, let me get dressed. I'll only be a few minutes. I'll come back here." With that, I returned to my room and checked the recording. I played it back via the ear buds that came with it and it was perfect. I took the full one and put that in my suitcase and replaced it with a new, blank stick in my purse. I changed into my little black dress, the one I carried for dinner meetings and such. I tried to make myself look as nice as possible since I wanted more incriminating conversation at dinner. I called Paul before I left to be sure he didn't try to call me at the plant. I told him I was going to be working late so not to expect a call till tomorrow. We didn't talk long and I ended by telling him I loved him. I expected it all to be over by tomorrow and I could finally tell him the truth. I walked down to Addison's room. He made appreciative noises about the way I was dressed and wanted to forget dinner. I refused since I told him I needed the time to make sure we had an agreement before I did anything. He seemed to expect this. I guess being corrupt as he was, he expected everyone else to be the same way. This is what he would have done. We went down to dinner, me pretending to be thrilled to be with him. He put his arm around me as we walked to the restaurant. I was repulsed but I needed more from him to assure that I had his ass. So, I let him hold me against him. After all, this was a public place. He couldn't do anything here. At dinner, Addison told me how he had planned for some time to get me in bed. He said he knew of the terminations before and decided that it would be a perfect time to convince me that a nice new job and title could be mine for just being nice to him. I made him tell me what he wanted to do with me and he did. Loud and clear for the recorder. I laughed and pretended to go along and finally told him that I agreed to his terms. He said he wanted me to spend the night with him in his room and I agreed. He made several crude comments that I recorded just for spite and finally turned it off. I had all I needed. After dinner, we went back to the room. To make sure there was no suspicion, as we entered the elevator, I reached up to give him a kiss. He was surprised but very willing. As the doors closed, I pulled away and laughed. "This is going to be a good night for both of us." "You can say that again. God, I've wanted you for so long. I can't wait." "Well, you're going to have to wait just a few more minutes. I have to get my birth control from my room. It'll only take me a couple of minutes. You go ahead to your room and I'll be there in just a few minutes." "Why don't I go with you? We could use your room." "No. I don't want you in my room. Everything is just thrown around and it's a mess. Your room is fine. I don't care how it looks." The elevator stopped and he moved to get out. "What's your room number, just in case?" I thought quickly. For this to work, he can't know what room I was in. "Room 452. One floor above." He let the door close and watched me with a smile on his face. As the doors closed, I blew him a kiss. Once fully closed, I sagged against the wall and almost lost my dinner. The elevator stopped at the next floor and I got out. I walked down the hall to the stairs and walked down two flights to the second floor. My room was 213. I went in and shut the door. I again checked the recorder and found that I had all but the last few minutes clearly recorded. Nothing of any importance was missing. I took the stick and placed it with the other. Now, all I had to do was wait until morning and then I could book a flight home. I felt good that I had the information I needed to either make him leave me alone or to get him fired if he refused. I was pleased. As I was making my plans for when I returned, my cell rang. It was Paul. Why was he calling. When I answered, he mentioned a change in the scheduled physical I had for next week. He wanted to make sure I called the doctor to change it. When I told him I would, he mentioned again to be sure I didn't do anything I would be sorry for. It seemed a strange comment but I was too excited to make much of it. I just told him again how much I loved him and we hung up. Now, I changed out of my good dress, put on my PJs and decided to relax. It felt good. As I was just drifting off, the phone rang. I knew it was Addison and didn't bother answering it. I was not going to talk to him again until I was home and in control. He tried to call several times but I refused to answer. He finally gave up. He was probably pissed but just to be sure, I called the desk and told them that I was being harassed by a gentleman I met and not to give anyone my room number. When they assured me that they didn't give out that information, I again made them promise that no one would get that number. Sometime during the night the message light on my phone lit up. I knew it was a message from Addison and didn't bother answering it. I slept the sleep of the just that night and didn't wake up till late the next morning. The next morning, I called and made my plane reservations and got my confirmation number. I checked with the desk to see if Addison was still registered but they told me he had checked out, so I dressed, went down to the desk and asked for my bill for checkout. I didn't see Addison anywhere so I felt safe. As I waited, the desk clerk gave me an envelope that he said was left for me. That's what the message light was for. I glanced at it, suspecting it was from Addison and signed my bill with the charges. I was now checked out and ready to leave. As I waited for the shuttle to take me to the airport, I glanced again at the envelope. I opened it and pulled out a single sheet of paper. I glanced at the signature on the bottom. It was from Paul! Was it a fax? No, it was original and hand written. I began to read it. Erin, I told you what would happen if you decided to cheat on me and destroy our marriage. I saw you with him last night. I saw you kiss him in the elevator. When I called your cell, you lied to me because you were with him. I called your room later and you didn't answer because you were with him. You spent the night with him. I know you did. I am going back home and when you return, I won't be there. Our marriage is over and I will file divorce papers immediately. Paul The letter fluttered to the ground as the shock hit me. He thought I was cheating on him and he followed me here. He saw me with Addison and thought I was with him all night. He was wrong! So wrong! I had to call him to let him know he was wrong! I ran back into the hotel and went to the house phone. I used my calling card to call home. I got Paul. "Paul! Paul is that you? Paul, what did you mean by this letter you left me? Why would you think I was with someone? I told you I was at the plant working last night. You knew that! What the hell did you mean by this nasty letter?" "Erin, please don't lie to me anymore. I asked you a simple question. Why didn't you just ask me for a divorce? Why did you have to go fucking that asshole Addison behind my back? Why did you choose to humiliate me? That's what I don't understand. You could have done anything you wanted to and I would have let you have your freedom. If you had only asked." "Paul, no. No. No. I don't want a divorce. I love you and I want to be with you. I haven't done anything like you think. You have to believe me. Please, Paul. I love you so much. Please, please." "I was there last night at the hotel. You and Addison came down for dinner at about 6:30 and went back to his room an hour later. You spent the night with him and you were still with him at 6:00 this morning when I called your room. I left then for a flight back here. I saw you and he kissing in the elevator and I called you half an hour later when you told me you were at the plant working. Don't you remember? I know lying gets so complicated when you have to remember so many." "Oh God, Paul. You have to let me try to explain. I'm on my way to the airport now and I'll be home before 4:00. Please wait for me. Let me try to explain to you. You have to let me. Please Paul." "Goodbye Erin. There is nothing to explain. You had a choice to make and you made it. Now you have to accept the consequences of that choice. I'll be gone by the time you get home. I don't want to talk to you again and I'll file for divorce tomorrow. You can have the house. I'll be packed and gone by the time you get here so whatever is left you can have." He hung up on me. I dialed again and waited but all I got was the voice mail. He had turned his phone off. I had to get to him. I ran back out and flagged a taxi, choosing not to wait for the hotel shuttle. I had to get to the airport and see if I could get an earlier flight out. I had to get to him before he left. I had to! I was able to switch to another airline and get an earlier flight. My flight landed at 1:35 and I was in my car and on my way home within another 20 minutes. I tried his cell again but it was still off. What about the home phone? He should be home by now. I tried that. I heard it ring twice before he picked up. "Hello?" "Paul, before you say anything or hang up, believe me when I say that nothing happened with Addison. What you saw is not what you think. If you ever loved me, you'll wait until I have a chance to tell you what's happened. You don't have to believe me but you have to give me five minutes. Just five minutes! Aren't twelve years of marriage worth five more minutes? Would you throw all we've had together away when all I'm asking of you is five minutes?" He didn't hang up but he didn't say anything either. I held my breath, still speeding toward home when he finally answered. "I can wait five more minutes. But I don't know whether I can believe you now. But, I'll give you five minutes." "Thank yo . . . " He had already hung up. I concentrated on getting home and trying to save my marriage. Even though I hadn't done what Paul thought, I was guilty. I never thought of his feelings during this whole thing. I was worried about me and my job and my possible promotion. I never stopped to think of what I was doing to Paul or his reactions. I never thought of him while I was preoccupied with my own problems. I had ignored him at home. I pushed him away when he volunteered his help and I closed my legs to him in bed. Paul had jumped to the conclusion that my actions had led him to. I pulled into the driveway and was relieved to see his car still there. I jumped out and ran to the door. Inside, I saw his suitcases packed and sitting by the garage door. He was sitting in the living room, the blinds drawn and the room dim. I moved into the room, dropped my purse on the floor and ran to him. I dropped to my knees in front of him and grabbed his hands in mine. He made no effort to move and his gaze on me was cold and without emotion. I didn't care. I had caused this and I would, by God, tell him everything. I would also pray that it wasn't too late. "Thank God you waited. Please Paul, you have to listen to me. What I did, I did to save my job at work. Addison has been trying to blackmail me and this trip was his attempt to make me have sex with him. He's been planning this for a while now and I didn't know it. Honest to God. Until he showed up, I thought I was only working as planned." "How do you expect me to believe a wild story like that? You're too good at your job for him to just let you go. How could he blackmail you like that? I don't believe you. Your actions over the past few months convinced me that something was going on and this was just the final proof. You cut me off in the bedroom for months, you have been distracted and distant to me, when I confronted you, you suddenly got very loving and now I find you with him in a hotel. I see you go to dinner with him, dressed in the sexy little dress you always said was your way to get me hot, and you go back to his room while kissing him in the elevator. I call your room several times during the night and no answer." He was really angry and he had been giving this a lot of thought. As he spoke, I realized what he thought and how he arrived at his conclusion. How was I going to convince him now? I had to try. "Paul, please. Addison asked me to help him pick the ones to be let go. I didn't want to but he told me that unless I was cooperative, he would add my name to the list. I finally agreed to help so I could at least make sure that some of the good ones didn't lose their jobs. Addison never did anything inappropriate except once and that was all him. I did nothing to encourage him and I did nothing to help him. It was humiliating but it wasn't sex. Please believe me. This trip was a surprise to me." "How do you expect me to believe you? What did he do that was just humiliating? Did you fuck him in the office? Give him a blowjob? Just a hand job maybe? Nothing that meant anything? Is that your story? What a bunch of crap!" "No, no! Please Paul. I knew what he was up to when he told me that the run was cancelled and that he was there in the hotel. I knew what he was going to do so I made a plan. I took the little recorder that you gave me for Christmas and made him talk about his plans. How he blackmailed me, how I had to do what he wanted to keep my job, and he did. He told me everything. I got it all on memory. It's in my purse. Now, I'll go to management and he'll be fired. I had to dress like that and go to dinner with him to get him to talk. But I never did anything with him. I was in my room when you called but I thought it was him. I never told him my room number so he couldn't find me. He called and left messages but I didn't answer. I didn't know it was you. Not at that time of night. How could I?" "Still a wild story. How do I believe it? What proof do you have that would convince me that it was true?" I remembered the tape. I had it with me in my purse. At least the last part, the part from his room where he confessed it all. I would let Paul listen to that. That was my proof! "Here. Listen to this. Addison lays it all out for me. Just listen and then you'll believe me." I handed the player to him with the ear buds and sat back while he listened. This would let him know that I was telling the truth. This would convince him. I watched as his face turned angry and felt finally that he was now ready to believe that I had nothing but contempt for Addison Croft. Paul finally took off the ear buds and laid the recorder down with a grimace. He was shaking his head. "Now do you believe me? Now do you see what he was trying to do? Do you?" "What I heard was him describing what he had done and admitting that sex was what he wanted. I also heard you asking him to make it clear. And the last thing I heard was you agreeing to his terms. That's what I heard. Nothing told me you said no." The shock of his words hit me in the face like a blast of hot air. How could he say that? I grabbed the recorder and put the buds in. I pressed play and listened in horror as I heard myself say, "So you insist that I stay the night and have sex with you?" "That's right baby. Just you and me and fucking all night long. That's the price you pay for keeping your cushy job and getting that promotion you want." "OK big boy. I agree. I'm all yours for the night. I hope you're as good as you claim." "Nothing but big, baby. I'll make you forget that wimpy husband of yours. I'll have you screaming for it before the night's over." "Sounds good to me, but you have to wait till I get my birth control and some other goodies. I'll be right back. Don't start without me." Sounds of laughing and then some more crude comments and then . . . nothing! That was all that was on the tape! Then I remembered that I had run out of memory but discounted it since I had all I needed. There was no proof! It sounded like I had agreed and promised to come back to spend the night with him. As I ripped off the ear buds and prepared to tell Paul that this wasn't all there was, I saw that he had already picked up his suitcases and left. I panicked! I ran from the room to try to stop him before it was too late. I rushed to the front door and opened it in time to see him back into the street and pull away. He was gone! I collapsed to the floor in grief and cried myself into exhaustion. I had no idea of what to do now. Nothing I said or could say would convince Paul of the truth. Why in hell had I done this? Was the job so fucking important that I neglected my husband, forgot what I was doing to him while I tried to find some way to protect my position? What was wrong with me? I had forgotten my real reason for living in order to protect something that wasn't even necessary to my life with Paul. I was devastated! It was late afternoon, the sun just beginning to slide below the horizon when I pulled myself together and went up to my bedroom. I sat on the bed trying to decide what to do next when I saw the bottle of sleeping pills sitting on the bedside table. I had the doctor give me a prescription during the time when I was dealing with the stress of Addison's demands. All I needed was to tell Paul the truth, but it was too important to me to keep my damn job. These pills helped me sleep, a poor substitute to my husband's arms around me. But typical of my thinking lately. I counted out thirteen of the little blue pills and held them in my hand, thinking. A glass of water and these innocent looking tablets was all it would take. No worries, no cares, no pain and no apologies to anyone. Except God. But, he always forgives: husbands don't. Just as I was about to swallow the first of them, it was as if a flashbulb went off in my head. What was I thinking? The tape I made of Addison was what got me into trouble in the first place. That damn tape that was supposed to get rid of him and make me safe was the problem. If I could just finish the damn thing, making sure that my innocence was clear to anyone listening, I could finish this and maybe save my sick marriage. As I thought about it, I realized that I had to give it a try. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer to God. I knew that he had sent this flash as a way to save me from a sin. The sin of suicide. I owed it to him to make the attempt. As the words said: What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Well, I wasn't going to let Addison put my marriage asunder! Not in a million years! I would see him in Hell first! I went into the kitchen and sat down beside the base station of our cordless phone. I searched for and found the 'record' button. When I pushed the button it would record both sides of any conversation made on that phone. Perfect. Now, I wanted to call Addison but first I reviewed in my head, what I wanted to say. When I had it perfect, I dialed his number at work. Consequences - Erin Ch. 02 "This is Addison Croft's office. May I help you?" "Yes, Judy, it's Erin. Is he in?" "Oh, yes Erin. He's been looking for you. I'll put you through." I waited while she connected me. I assume he was telling her to shut his door before taking the call. He often did that when taking calls. "Hello. Erin? Is that you?" "Yes Addison, it's me. I'm home now, just like you." "What the hell happened to you? Why didn't you come back to my room? You said you were just going to get your birth control. Where did you go?" "I had no intention of coming back. I just wanted to get out of there." "But you stupid bitch, we had a deal! You know I'll have to reconsider putting your name in the hat for losing your job don't you? That was the deal. You be good to me and I'll be good to you. Too bad, now it's too late." "But you didn't expect me to go through with it did you? All this time, I didn't give in. Why did you think I would in Toledo?" "Because you want your damn job more than you want to stay faithful to that wimp husband of yours. You know you want it and I'm the guy to give it to you. Maybe it's not too late. If you agree to meet me after work for a little romp in the sheets, I'll forget that you stood me up." "Not a chance. I'll give you my resignation tomorrow. I quit, you fucking pig!" I slammed the phone down and waited a minute before pushing the message play button. I listened to the entire conversation and then I pushed the 'save' button. Now, all I had to do was find Paul and make him listen. The next morning, I dressed casually and walked into the Director of Personnel's office. I demanded to see him and made such a fuss that he finally waved me in. Without a word, I pulled out a small CD player and played my conversations with Addison for him to hear. I had transferred all of them onto this one CD and I made three copies just to be safe. I said nothing but watched coldly as he listened, first with some impatience and then with intense concentration. At the end, he simply slumped back into his chair and looked at me. "What do you want Erin? Your job? Hell, your job was never in doubt. Addison had no say in who was let go and who stayed, and you were staying without doubt. It was out of his hands. What he told you was BS and apparently was only intended to get you to give in to his demands. This is the end of him you know. His job's yours if you want it." "I might have said yes before this trip to Toledo. My husband thinks I went through with it and spent the night with Addison in Toledo. He knows Addison was there and he thinks I lied to him about working. I played some of the tapes for him but I didn't have the last one to prove I never went through with it. He doesn't believe me and I don't blame him. Why I ever thought this job was worth it, I don't know." He simply shook his head in sympathy and told me that he would keep my resignation on his desk and Addison's job open for a week. He didn't want to lose me and wanted to be sure that I wouldn't sue the company. He told me to think about my future and let him know what I wanted to do. He also told me to take the rest of the week off since it might be very unpleasant around there for a while. He volunteered to talk to Paul if I wanted but I declined. It was my problem and I caused it myself. I couldn't use someone else to try to get me out of it. My only solution was to prove to Paul that nothing happened. I had to wait until he came back. I went home and tried to go on with my life. I had no idea of where Paul was and no idea if and when he would come home. I did have time to reflect on my actions these past months and I was ashamed of myself. My actions weren't those of a loving wife. They were those of a greedy manipulating bitch that was so self centered she thought only of herself and never of her husband. What did that say about me? I didn't like the answer. I did understand the consequences of my actions now though. It was very clear that when I chose to go my own way and take care of my own problems without sharing with my husband, he chose to walk away when I tried to justify my poor choices. He didn't believe me and with good reason. I had lied to him, misled him, ignored him and shut him out of a part of my life. The consequences were severe. I just hoped they weren't permanent. After one of the longest weeks of my life, I got a call from Paul. He was staying at a motel here in town but he wanted to come home and talk to me. He said we had some decisions to make about our future. He was intent on proceeding with the divorce but he understood that we had to make some joint decisions. He was being very reasonable and very calm. I on the other hand, knew that I had to let him come home before attempting to convince him of my faithfulness so I agreed with his conditions. We agreed to meet that evening here at the house. At 7:30 that evening, Paul knocked on the front door. He was dressed in a suit and tie and looked every bit the executive he was. I wondered if he had just come from work or if he was trying to maintain a business appearance so I wouldn't forget why he was there. Either way, he was very handsome and impressive as I knew he would be. It was with bittersweet feeling that I welcomed him in. "Hello Erin. You look tired. You need to take care of yourself. You always did work too hard at that job. It's unfortunate that it was so very important to you." "Hello Paul. You look very relaxed and very nice. I guess this hasn't been as hard on you as it has on me. Please come in and sit down. We can use the kitchen table since it's clean. I made some fresh coffee." "The kitchen is fine, but you're wrong. This has been very hard on me. You see, I never expected this but you've lived with it for some time. You've had time to get used to cheating, while I just learned of your unfaithfulness. So no, it hasn't been easy for me." His words were a shock and really hurt but I understood why he felt as he did. That was entirely my fault. He believed what I led him to believe, even though it was wrong. "I know what you think Paul, but you're wrong. I agreed to this meeting because I want to tell you something that is important first and then we can go from there." I took a deep breath and began. "I resigned my job last week. I told Personnel everything and they fired Addison for sexual harassment. I gave them the tapes I let you hear and that was enough. He was gone Monday." "Why would you quit when you did what you did to get ahead and keep your damned job? I would think Addison would have given you a promotion if you had just kept your mouth shut and your legs open. You would have had it all." That hurt, more than I thought possible. Paul thought me a whore and a slut for the job! How far he had gone with what I had given him while I was just playing the game for a job! It took my breath away! How stupid was I? "I don't blame you for feeling that way Paul, but I want you to listen to something. Something I should have had before I came home from Toledo. But I was so busy thinking of myself, I forgot all about you. You were already convinced that I was that slut working only for my job while I was thinking only of myself and my damned job! Listen to this, please." I walked over to the phone station and pushed play. I let the conversation between me and Addison play through and then I played it again. I watched Paul's face as he listened. I finally saw a tear begin and I didn't know what to make of it. I felt a small glimmer of hope but I was still afraid. Afraid that it was too late and Paul's trust was too far gone. Still, I hoped. Paul put his head down on the kitchen table and began to sob. Deep, wrenching sobs that broke my heart. God, how I had hurt this man! This man that I had loved for most of my adult life. The only man that I had ever made love with and the only man I ever wanted to make love with. I had done this to him out of a selfish need for a job! His sobbing tore my heart out and I wanted only to hold him until it passed. Too hell with the consequences! I fell to my knees in front of him and held him as tightly as I could while I pressed his head to my bosom. Screw the consequences! He was in pain and I was going to hold him until it was over. If he hated me, so be it, but I wasn't going to let him suffer alone! I held him until his sobs began to subside. Still I held him until I felt him calm and take me by the arms and lift me up. He stood, pulling me with him and then, when I expected him to push me away, he kissed me! My legs buckled and I began to sag, but he just held me tighter. He supported me as he deepened the kiss, turning me to jelly in his arms. I was in heaven. I wanted only to remain there in his arms until the end of time. He was mine again! Mine! In spite of my foolishness, he had forgiven me! He was my husband again and I was his wife. That was the only job I ever wanted and it was the one I would be satisfied with for the rest of my life. Maybe the title of mother? It was worth thinking about. THE END Consequences - Erin My plane landed at just after 10:00 and I deplaned and entered the terminal. I turned my phone back on and immediately got a message that I had four voice mail messages waiting. I smiled and simply put the phone back in my pocket turned off again. I caught the shuttle and found my car in long term parking and was home by 11:30. I had four more calls between the airport and home but I chose to answer none of them. I wanted to be relaxed and comfortable when I spoke to Erin. I unpacked, washed up and fixed a drink for myself and then sat down in my recliner. I took my cell out, turned it on and set it on the arm of the chair and waited. Sure enough, it rang a minute later. I flipped open the cover and answered. "Paul! Paul is that you? Paul, what did you mean by this letter you left me? Why would you think I was with someone? I told you I was at the plant working last night. You knew that! What the hell did you mean by this nasty letter?" "Erin, please don't lie to me any more. I asked you a simple question. Why didn't you just ask me for a divorce? Why did you have to go fucking that asshole Addison behind my back? Why did you choose to humiliate me? That's what I don't understand. You could have done anything you wanted to and I would have let you have your freedom. If you had only asked." "Paul, no. No. No. I don't want a divorce. I love you and I want to be with you. I haven't done anything like you think. You have to believe me. Please, Paul. I love you so much. Please, please." "I was there last night at the hotel. You and Addison came down for dinner at about 6:30 and went back to his room an hour later. You spent the night with him and you were still with him at 6:00 this morning when I called your room. I left then for a flight back here. I saw you and he kissing in the elevator and I called you half an hour later when you told me you were at the plant working. Don't you remember? I know lying gets so complicated when you have to remember so many." "Oh God, Paul. You have to let me try to explain. I'm on my way to the airport now and I'll be home before 4:00. Please wait for me. Let me try to explain to you. You have to let me. Please Paul." "Goodbye Erin. There is nothing to explain. You had a choice to make and you made it. Now you have to accept the consequences of that choice. I'll be gone by the time you get home. I don't want to talk to you again and I'll file for the divorce tomorrow. You can have the house. I'll be packed and gone by the time you get here so whatever is left you can have." I hung up and turned the phone off. She had killed my love for her and there was nothing she could do to bring it back to life. I no longer wanted to talk to her or see her or listen to her. She didn't have to explain: I understood. She chose to do what she did because she wanted to. There was nothing more to it than that. She did it because she could and she wanted to. She could stay faithful to the promises she made to me or she could break those vows. She knew the risks and the possible costs and she made a choice. I doubt that she ever even considered the consequences. Now the choice was mine and I made it. Consequences are a bitch.