0 comments/ 149522 views/ 25 favorites Consequences - Delia By: thecelt What one spouse sees as being unfaithful, the other sees entirely differently. This is the fifth in this series. Edited by Angel Love as always and includes her suggestions and comments to make a better story for you. Consequences -Delia The door opened, admitting a shaft of unwelcome light into the lounge where I was sitting on a Friday afternoon. A tall, bull-like man walked in and looked around the room, noticing me as I raised my hand and motioned him over to the table. He strolled over and slid into the seat across from me with a smile on his face. His real name was Gerald William Cassidy but he liked to wear jeans and a big cowboy hat when he was driving, so, 'Butch' Cassidy. Butch was a short haul driver for my company. We were a baked goods firm and distributed bakery items to the surrounding states. I was the manufacturing manager for the local plant as well as two others in Pennsylvania and Ohio. I had taken the afternoon off in order to meet with Butch and talk to him about something that had been bothering me. His run was finished for the day since he began long before dawn and finished around early noon. He did the local runs and never had to be away from home much. He and his wife Martha used to be good friends of Delia's and mine, but that was before their divorce, about six months ago. Butch looked at my face, saw the strain and frowned. "Watcha doin, my friend? I was surprised to get your call. I haven't seen much of you or Delia since my divorce. I thought I was no longer on your 'suitable friends' list." It was true I hadn't talked much to Butch since he and Martha got divorced. Part of that was because Delia, my wife, hated Butch and blamed him for the problems in their marriage. When I mentioned that Martha was the one that cheated, she just smirked and said it was payback for his fooling around. Since I knew Butch fairly well, I knew that was bullshit, but it didn't seem worth getting Delia steamed up by disagreeing with her. She always seemed to be pissed at me for something or other so why stir up problems. I waved the waitress over and ordered us a couple of cold ones. Butch eyed her up but didn't follow through, sensing this was not fun and games time and waiting for me to let him know what we were doing here. "Well, Dee didn't want us to stop being friends with Martha so I just sort of let it go. The fault's mine, though I gotta be honest with you Butch, I don't much care for Martha since the divorce. But that's not the reason I wanted to talk to you. I had some questions to ask you and you're the guy with the answers." "Sounds interesting. Shoot!" "What first let you know that Martha was fooling around on you? What were the signs?" Butch looked at me with a funny expression and then he began to smile. The smile got bigger and bigger as I waited. "Seems someone else got problems in paradise, don't it? I'll be God Damned! Well, I ain't the least bit surprised, I'll tell you that." "What do you mean? Do you know something? Something I should know?" "I don't know nothing, but I have my suspicions. Your wife and my ex spend a lot of time together since my divorce and that means trouble if you ask me. But, what the hell. What'd you want to know?" "What were the signs, the clues that made you suspicious?" Butch gave it some thought, mentioned that thinking was thirsty work and waited while I ordered another beer for him and one for me. When they came, he grabbed his and downed a third of it in one swallow. "OK, what were the signs? First, Marty got real quiet. She always was a talker and she never gave me a minute's peace when I was home. I didn't much care but suddenly, she stopped talking much to me. Oh, she still chattered on and on but nothing like before. Just nonsense stuff, things I couldn't care less about. It seemed like she was somewhere else most of the time." He stopped to take another drink and stared off into space for a minute before continuing. "The next thing was she'd pick fights with me over nothin. Nothin at all, that meant anything. She'd just wait till I said something and then jump my ass. Just wanted to fight. Nothin I did made any difference. That's when I first started to think something was up." I could tell this was still sensitive territory. It had only been five or six months since the divorce was final. I knew Butch well and I knew that he still loved Martha, even now when he knew what she had done. But I also knew he couldn't forgive her. The hard part for Butch was that she didn't care. "Then, I started to call home during the day when I was at work. I never used to do that and when I started, I would just hang up when she answered. It took about three weeks before I got the pattern. She was usually home every day but Wednesday. On Wednesday, she was gone during the early afternoon, usually until after 3 or 3:30. When I asked her what she did during the day, she said nothing but shopping and chores, like dry cleaning and such." Another swallow of beer and a signal for another bottle. I did the honors. "The last sign was that sex just slowed down until it stopped. Unless I really raised a fuss, she wouldn't have anything to do with it and when she did, it was like fucking a mannequin. You know, one of those blow up dolls or some such. Used to be she loved sex and we had a good time. Then, it just stopped." I nodded, remembering the final days of that match. I knew Butch was hurting but I never took the time to ask him why then. I just minded my own business while he slowly died inside. The divorce was hard on him but I still kept my distance. Now, I was sorry. Sorry that I let him down and sorry I didn't pay more attention to what he was going through. Maybe too late, but I told him now how sorry I was. He just shrugged his shoulders and said, "It's OK. It's done now." "So, how did it end? What did you do?" "I took a day off and followed her on one of her Wednesday afternoon meetings. I borrowed a friend's car and waited outside the house till she left. I followed her to that motel off Fredrick Street and saw her meet that son of a bitch she was sleeping with. I took my camera and shot pictures of her going in with his arm around her and then coming out with his hand on her ass." The beer came and he grabbed it and took a big swig. This was bringing back some bad memories. But, I had to know. "I showed her the pictures that night and she just shrugged her shoulders. She asked me what I was going to do and I told her I wanted a divorce. She didn't even argue, just agreed with me that it was best. She didn't even want to talk about it. To this day, I don't know why. I still don't know why." I was disappointed with that, I guess. I was going to ask him why she did it but he didn't even know. She divorced him and never even told him what he had done or why she had cheated on him. I wondered how he could survive, not knowing. "Didn't you ever try to get her to tell you what happened? Why she hurt you that way? I would think you would have to know. Have to know so you could move on." "Wasn't necessary. After I found out, I could never forgive her anyway. No way I would take back a cheatin whore like her. So, I didn't give a good God Damn. Good riddance to bad rubbish I told her. That's how it ended. She's still fuckin that sob but he went back to his wife and won't leave her. Serves her right. I didn't give her shit in the divorce and I ain't going to neither. She wanted alimony but I told her I'd fuckin quit if she asked for any. I'd give her half of nothin! She got the picture real quick. She wanted quit of me more than she wanted my money." He finished the second beer and finally sat back, looking at me. "So, Petey boy, you got problems? Seems like you want to know what to look for in your own marriage huh? No shit! But then, as close as Marty and Dee are, it's not too surprising. I think cheatin's a disease and Dee caught it from Martha. Hot damn! What you gonna to do about it?" Not surprising that he figured it out. I wasn't intending on keeping it a secret because I wanted his help in finding out for myself what Delia was doing. All the signs he mentioned were there: irritability, silence, time away from the house and no excuse. Our sex life had been almost non-existent for some time now and just a duty fuck from time to time. It was really obvious now that Butch had clarified my thinking. "Well, I think the writing's on the wall. She's given me all the signs that you mentioned plus a few others. I've racked my brain trying to find some way to catch her but either she's too smart for me or she has help. I just can't seem to find any proof of what she's doing. But, it's damn clear that she is cheating on me and I want to find enough to make sure she can't take me to the cleaners in a divorce." "Well, you've come to the right place. Let ole Butch help you out. We'll cook up a plan to catch her cheatin ass!" I would like to say we sat there and made a superior plan to catch my wife in her cheating ways but we actually just got a little buzzed on several more beers. I let myself go now that I had found a partner and someone to unburden myself to. Once I started to talk to Butch, I found I needed to unload this burden and it was close to midnight when I finally found myself trying to unlock the inside garage door with my key. I was having no luck when the door flew open and my loving wife stood there with her hands on her hips and her face showing me a picture of what the wrath of hell was likely to be. "Well, you finally decided to come home. And drunk too, it seems. What do you have to say for yourself?" "Well hello, my loving and faithful wife. Have you been here waiting for me, your loving husband? Or did you spend the time with someone else? Huh?" Delia was furious but she narrowed her eyes at my comments. I was too drunk to take advantage of it. Now, she bit back a comment and simply turned away, walking down the hall to our bedroom. I managed to make my way inside and pushed the door shut, leaning against it as I tried to make the room stop spinning. After a few minutes, I felt steady enough to lock the door and make my way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and a cold washcloth. I felt like hell, but also quite relaxed for the first time in a long time. After a futile attempt to pour a cup of coffee, which was cold anyway, I just dropped into one of the chairs and let my head fall onto my arms on the table. I would just rest a little until I got my strength back and then I would go to bed. I was still resting when I was awakened by a beam of sunshine coming in the kitchen window. I had spent the night right where I had come to rest! That was made clear when I tried to straighten up and the cramp in my lower back reminded me that I was no longer a young man. I finally got myself up and moved toward the stairs when I heard the voice of my loving wife. "Well, I see you passed out down here last night. You must have been really drunk to do that. Too bad, you'll pay for that today. I bet you feel really proud of yourself don't you?" I threw back a comment that she probably didn't even notice I wasn't in her bed as I pushed past, heading in to take a shower and change clothes. I really didn't want to talk to her or discuss anything with her in the condition I was in. I made it to the shower, stripping off my clothes as I went. I let the hot water roll over me and I began to feel strength flow back into my body. My aching back finally loosened up and I was able to stand straight again. I started to feel almost normal. This was more like it. I reminded myself again why I rarely drank. No more! As I was sobering up, I thought back to what I told Butch. Delia and I had been married for over nine years. We had no children since Delia was unable to conceive and she wasn't yet ready to consider adoption. I wanted kids but she seemed reluctant to make the move. It put a strain on our marriage but I thought we had worked through it. But the last four or five months had been particularly strained. Delia was angry, short with me about almost anything and she had closed herself off to me sexually. We had never had a strong sex life, or not since she found she couldn't conceive, but we did OK. The last time we made love together was over three months ago and that was not a pleasant experience when I thought about it. Now, I was beginning to think I knew why. An hour later, I made my way back to the kitchen, looking for that cup of coffee I wanted so badly last night. I smelled it and headed for the pot. A cup of coffee and I would be all the way back to normal. Unfortunately, Delia was also in the kitchen and that put a dark cloud over my mood. Now it would take more than just coffee. "Just let me get myself a cup of coffee before you start in on me. I need something to wake me up." "Too bad you had to make a fool out of yourself last night. Maybe if you had been home where you belonged, you wouldn't feel so bad today." I had to control myself before I said something I would regret. Not regret, rather something I would rather her not know about. At least not yet. I opted to say nothing. "I'm talking to you, Peter Burke! Where were you last night and who were you with?" "I was with Butch Cassidy. You know Butch? He's the one that cheating bitch of a friend of yours left for the bastard she's sleeping with." "You don't know what you're talking about! Martha didn't cheat on him first. He was the one that was cheating. She just got fed up with it and went out on her own. She and Jack were just friends. It was Gerald's fault. He pushed her into it." I guess it was about time I told her the truth. I had to laugh at her ignorance. Martha had filled her empty head with all kinds of lies and I was in the mood to set her straight. "Is that what she told you? Butch never cheated on her once in his life. I, and everybody who knows him knew that he loved that woman more than life itself. That was her damn story and she tried to convince everyone of it, but you're the only fool who ever believed her. Everybody else knows what she is. " "That's not true. She was only trying to get back at him. That's all it was. Before the divorce, she just had sex with that guy once. Just once to make him jealous but then he got so unreasonable that Martha decided to divorce him. She couldn't live with his cheating ways." "Sorry. Martha had been fucking Jack Mason for over seven months when Butch found out about it. He told her to get the fuck out and she said she was happy to, because Jack was leaving his wife and was going to marry her. She moved out the same day and never even tried to contest the divorce. Never once apologized or tried to explain. Just left. She's still fucking him but he's not leaving his wife. So, she's just a cheap whore." Delia was looking a little shaken. I'm not sure what story Martha had sold her on but it was sure as hell not the truth. I think it was just starting to sink in. "That marriage was over as soon as Butch found out. He told her he wouldn't ever forgive her and she didn't give a shit. The greedy bitch wanted alimony but he told her if she asked for it, he would quit and go on welfare rather than pay her anything. She'd already spent every dime he made. Since they had nothing but the house, Butch gave it to her along with the mortgage." Delia was sitting there staring at me as if I had just told her we were being evicted. She was shell shocked! I wanted to laugh so bad but I held it back. Now was the time for the first shot in the war to come. "Since her asshole lover didn't leave his wife, she had to sell the house to pay her lawyer. But it's OK since her lover will take care of her. I hear he's paying for her apartment now. That apartment you go to all the time? Owned by her lover, paying for his mistress. It's a good deal for him. She gets free rent and he gets free pussy. He writes the apartment and his paid whore off as a business expense." I laughed at the expression on her face. It was priceless. Marty had really sold her a bill of goods. Not surprising. Now for the slam dunk! "But I'll tell you that any wife that cheats on her husband is a slut and a fool. If she hasn't the guts to talk to her husband first to get the truth out into the open before doing that, she doesn't deserve to continue to be married to the guy. If she's that angry, then ask for a divorce. But to go fuck another guy, and blame it on him, well that's just crap!" Now she was really looking sick. I don't know what she was thinking but I was now sure she was guilty. I wanted to push it some more just to make her do something stupid. "You know my loving wife, if you did that, I'd divorce your ass so fast it would make your head swim. So, if you're thinking of it and trying to find some excuse, understand right now that there is none. No excuse and no second chance!" I got up, took my cup of coffee that had gone cold again, and walked out of the kitchen and into the garage. I had a small workshop out there with a radio and a small portable TV. I sat down on my stool and took stock. First, I had delivered the facts to Delia about Martha and it was clear that Martha had sold her a bill of goods. Second, I had let her know how I felt about cheating and what I would do if she did. Third, I put the fear of God into her and now she was trying to decide how to play it. If she had cheated, which I believed she had, she would try to make sure all evidence was hidden so deep I would never find it. Forth, she was on the defensive and I had the upper hand. She didn't think I suspected or knew anything so she would do something soon. That gave me an advantage. Finally, I searched my feelings and my heart and was surprised to find that I really didn't care that my marriage seemed to be over. I guess I had lived with the bitch that Dee had become so long I just didn't care anymore. The love was gone. I spent the morning out there without interruption and called Butch around ten to ask him to meet me at the corner 7-11 at 1:00 that afternoon. I told him to drive the truck, the one that he had just bought and that no one had seen yet. I wanted to be able to follow Delia if she decided to make a trip. I told him what I was going to do and he thought it was a good plan. We were set. I went back inside when Dee called me to find lunch made and waiting on the table. This was the first time Dee had made lunch for me in over three months. Makes you think, doesn't it? "What's this? Lunch? Why now all of a sudden? I thought you were angry with me? If I didn't know better, I'd think you had a guilty conscience. Do you?" She tried on a sickly smile. "Of course not. You just seemed so tired and washed out; I thought you needed something on your stomach. Probably because of last night." "Well, whatever the reason, thanks. By the way, I'm going out this afternoon to meet someone. I'll probably be gone most of the afternoon." "Who are you going to see? It's Saturday, why would you be meeting anyone today?" "It's just a friend. No one important. Nothing for you to be concerned about." "It just seems strange that you would have to meet someone on Saturday." "Well, it just came up. Why are you so concerned? Do you think I'm doing something I'm not supposed to? They say guilty people always suspect everyone else?" "No, of course not. And I'm not guilty of anything. I just wondered." "Do you have anything planned? Anywhere to go?" Dee seemed nervous and agitated, but she tried to hide it by turning her back and puttering in the sink before answering me. "No. I'll just stay here and finish up some chores. The laundry needs doing." A long pause and then, "Oh, and I'm going out to see that new movie with Marty tonight." Consequences - Delia Well, so now we get to it. She must be meeting her lover tonight. That was just great. I wanted to give her a little zinger just to make her sweat a little. But regardless of where she was going, I'd be right behind her. "Maybe you want me to think you're both going to the movie but I know where she's going. You thinking of a little action yourself?" "You can go to hell!" Her anger seemed forced to me coupled with the sick look on her face as she turned to me. I saw the guilt clear as day! Her reaction should have been anger, not guilt! We ate lunch in silence and cleaned up afterwards. I changed into a nice casual shirt and slacks before I left for my 'meeting'. Delia watched me go without a word. I drove away and to the corner convenience store where I had agreed to meet Butch. I knew that I could leave my car there in the back of the store without anybody seeing it. I parked, went inside, got a cold six pack, and got in the truck with Butch. "OK, now we drive over to Madison St. and watch the house for a while. I want to see if she takes a drive. She said she had nowhere to go so she'd be home. Let's see." Three minutes later, we were stopped alongside the curb on the street that crossed mine. We could just see the house and could see if Delia pulled out driving that huge SUV of hers. It was a big-assed Ford Expedition. Why she had to have it was beyond me. She didn't work and she didn't have anything to carry so why that big monstrosity? Butch and I popped a couple of cold ones and just chatted. I told him of my conversation with Delia this morning. He got a big kick out of it and said that she was probably guilty but we had to be sure. As we were talking, I saw Delia pull out of the driveway and start toward us. I grabbed Butch and we both ducked down until she passed. She came to the intersection with Madison, turned our way and drove past us. Butch raised up to watch as she stopped at the intersection of Madison and Main. We waited until we saw her turn left, toward town. Butch pulled out behind her and we followed, staying well back. After a drive of about ten minutes, Delia pulled into the lot of a diner in a part of town we never frequented. Butch drove past and then pulled into a gas station on the opposite side. From there, we could see her car. She just sat there and waited without doing anything. As I was becoming impatient, I saw a car pull in beside her, but it was on the other side. I couldn't see who it was but I saw Delia get out of her side and walk around to the other side, but because that damn SUV was so big, I couldn't see her. I was about to tell Butch to move the damn truck so I could see her when the car, with her in it, backed out and drove away, going the other direction. By the time we were able to get going and pull out into traffic, the car was gone. I had no idea what to do now, so I told Butch to take me back to my car. When he asked me what I was going to do, I just shrugged my shoulders and said that I would play it by ear. He clapped me on the shoulder and told me how sorry he was. I told him it was sort of nice to finally know for sure, but inside I was sick to my stomach, just knowing that my marriage was over and my life would never be the same. But, as I thought about it, I reminded myself of what I had been living with and that I would be better off with a clean break. We made plans to meet later that night and I drove back to the Diner. I sat there for some time before deciding to move the car and park just off to the side. I could see her car, watch the cars entering the parking lot and when I saw them, I would wait until she got in her SUV. Just before she started it up, I would pull up beside her, pause for a moment and then leave. Dramatic as hell, but more importantly, I found that I just wanted this to be over. No more spying, no more following her around, no planting bugs in the house, that sort of shit. Not for me. She had lied to me and was with another man, period. The rest was just common cheating. It was just over an hour and a half from the time they left until they came back. Must have been time enough to get their rocks off, maybe in the car like a couple of teenagers. Whatever! I did recognize the man in the car as a friend of Jack's. I think they worked together. I started my car as I watched his car pull up beside her SUV and then after a couple of moments to say goodbye and make plans for the next tryst, she walked around the front of his car and watched him drive away before moving to hers. Now for a little surprise. Just as she opened the door, I pulled up beside her and waited for her to notice me. Just before sliding in, she turned to the side and saw me sitting there. When our eyes met, the shock on her face was priceless! Shock, guilt, panic, all rolled into one. I gave her enough time to register me and then I pulled out and drove home without looking back. I didn't do any of the stereotypical shit like pack a bag, close checking and savings accounts or put her shit in plastic bags. That would have meant some planning and thinking, neither of which I was capable of just then. When a man confirms that his wife is cheating on him, what in the hell would anyone expect? Rationalism? Calm? Thoughtfulness? Hah! All I felt was a deep sadness and slightly sick to my stomach. It's funny that the end of something, even something bad, is sad and upsetting. While I no longer loved Delia, I had been married to her for over nine years, a good part of my life. I was losing that, so yeah, it was sad. No, what I did do was sit down in the family room and wait. I wanted this to come to an end, a loud and nasty conclusion. I had given her my position that morning and she knew exactly what it was. I told her that there were no excuses for cheating and no second chances. It would be interesting to see what her plan was. Would she deny that anything happened? Deny that she was having an affair? Pretend that she was just friends and that she was trying to get advice? What? Well, time would tell. As I sat there, I heard the garage door go up and that monstrosity of hers pull in. It was so loud with that huge engine that she needed to haul around a bag of groceries. I always believed that she was just trying to compensate for something. Maybe it was me. Maybe I was too small, too unskilled, and too timid, to suit her and she needed this to make up for her lack of stimulation here at home. That had to be it. Just like the commercial where the person gets pushed aside so they go buy a Hummer! Like that would help! Apparently it hadn't helped her either. She had to go find someone else to do for her what I couldn't. The door flew open and Delia came in on the run. "Pete? Where are you?" She came rushing in the great room and spotted me sitting there. She came to a full stop and just watched me. I think she was waiting for me to attack but I just sat there, not even looking at her. It was her problem, not mine. She fucked up, not me. She was the guilty one and I was the one hurting. Why should I have to say anything? Christ! All I wanted to do was go get drunk. That's what she did to me. She came into the room, started to sit beside me but stopped when I looked up at her. The look on my face was enough to make her move over to the chair and sit. I settled back on the couch and waited. "It's not what you think. I don't know how or why you were there, but it's not what you think." How in the hell would she know what I thought? She didn't know me at all if she could do something like this. If she thought I would ever accept anything like this. I think the trouble she was in had finally hit her. Maybe she thought she was clear and that I wouldn't find out about her cheating, but I had and now she was in deep shit. "I was there because I followed you there. Butch and I were behind you all the way and we watched you get into that asshole's car and drive away. That's all I needed to see. And what I think is that you are a cheating, lying slut that decided that she needed more excitement in her life and to hell with her husband! That's what I think! Now, tell me I'm wrong." The tears were flowing now! She was in trouble and she knew it. She was trying to find some way to make me believe it wasn't true. "You're wrong! None of that is true. It's not what it looked like. I wasn't cheating on you and that's the truth!" "Sorry! You're trying to give me the same shit that slut of a friend of yours gave Butch. I don't believe you. You're a married woman; you got into a car with another man after telling me that you were staying at home doing the laundry. Your best friend is a fucking whore who cheated on her husband. You've done nothing for the past few months but pick fights with me, making my life a living hell with your bitching and sniping, and you've stopped wanting me to make love to you. It's all clear now. It was just to justify your cheating. You wanted more and you went out and got it." "That's crazy! None of that is true. You're trying to make me look like I'm cheating, but I'm not! I'm not! I don't want more. I have all I want with you." "Then what were you doing in another man's car for an hour and a half? Why would you meet a man and lie to me about it? Why have you been so distant with me lately and why did we stop making love? Why? God Damn it! Tell me why! Do you have those answers?" She was rocking back and forth, holding herself with both arms and her head bent down, looking at the floor. The look of a desperate woman, one who had been found out. She was trying to speak but she was sobbing so hard the words were coming out more like hiccups. "There's more to it than that. You just don't understand. You're wrong!" "I don't believe you. You've already lied to me and now you're trying to convince me that you're innocent. Well, I don't believe you. If you can lie to me once, you can lie to me again and again. That's what I believe." Delia had now almost completely collapsed. She was moaning and crying and rocking herself but not saying anything. I think she had run out of things to say and she had not had time to prepare her lies. Without preparation, lies can be difficult to come up with at the last minute. "I'll pack a bag and be out of here as soon as possible. I'll call Harold Finegold in the morning and start the proceedings. You should get your own lawyer since Harold works for me." The response was immediate. Her head flew up and she stood, arms waving. "What do you mean get a lawyer? What do you mean start proceedings? You can't be serious. You don't mean divorce! No! No! You have to let me explain! It's not what you think!" "Yes, it is!" "No, God Damn it! No! I'll tell you everything. Just stop this nonsense!" I really would like to know what I did that forced her into this. Maybe I could take the time to listen to her story. And I believed she would give me a story. Not the truth! Not now, when it was too late. Just a lie that she felt she could convince me with. "OK. I'll give you five minutes to tell me your 'story'. But, if I hear one single lie, I'm gone and it's over. No more lies. I told you, no second chances." Dee stood and walked around the room before starting. I could almost hear the wheels in her head spinning, trying to decide how to convince me of her innocence. Not likely with the truth, but it might be fun to watch her try her lies. "OK. His name is Phillip Tartan. He works with Jack Mason." As ready as I thought I was, the fact that she and Martha were fucking buddies and she was fucking Jack's pal was more than I could take. My vision clouded and everything turned white. The fury that I felt was almost enough to stagger me. I screamed at her. "I should have known! Martha fucks Jack and you're fucking Phil! Good friends stick together I see. How long has it been going on? Did Martha fix you up? Well the hell with you!" I was so angry that I stood up, glared at Dee and turned to go pack my bag. I suddenly didn't want to hear any more. When she reached out to grab my arm, I spun and gave her a look that had her stumbling back. She was afraid of me! For the first time in our nine years of marriage, she was afraid of me and at this point, I didn't blame her. "I can't listen to this now. I thought I could, but I can't. This is too fucking sick even for me. I have to get out of here. Just don't say anything. Please! Just back away and don't say anything!" I ran down the long hall to our room and yanked down my overnight bag. I took anything I could grab out of the drawers, threw it in and closed the bag. I went into the bathroom and, grabbing a plastic bag from the vanity, swept my things into it and tied it closed. That would have to do. I was so angry I was shaking. My hands weren't steady but I had to make it out to my car. If I could do that, I would be OK. Somehow, I managed to do just that. I got to the door, opened it and threw my bag down the three steps and grabbed the railing to keep me upright. Dee was standing at the door and moved aside just in time to avoid being hit with the bag. Her face was a mixture of fear and panic. Afraid of me and yet, not wanting me to leave. Tough shit. I was out of there. "Pete, please. You don't . . ." "I asked you to shut up! Please, shut up! Why can't you just shut the fuck up?" I stumbled down the three steps to the garage and my car. I threw the bags in the back and got behind the wheel, Dee saying something all the while. I didn't hear her. I refused to hear her as I backed out of the garage and into the street, almost hitting the monstrosity. I spun the wheel and sped away, finally releasing the breath I had been holding all that time. I calmed enough to see where I was and pulled over to the curb to call Butch. I needed a place to crash and his place would work. He answered, gave me the come ahead and I headed for his place. I spent the evening telling Butch of my conversation with Delia and he just shrugged, telling me that he expected it might be something like that. He knew the guy she was with and he told me he was Jack's right hand man. Appears they were sharing our wives for their own pleasure. I felt my fury grow as he talked but at some point, it just sort of faded away. I guess it's hard to continue at that level of anger without burning out. I knew it would come back, but for now, beer and talking were helping to keep me sane. The following morning was a Sunday and I woke feeling like I had been in a ten round fight, one that I lost. Butch told me he had some things to do that morning so to make myself at home. I got up, cleaned up and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I checked for food, found some eggs and had an egg sandwich. Simple fare but it hit the spot. I was just sitting around trying to decide what to do when the phone rang. I decided to answer just in case it was him. It was. "Hey, bro! Everything alright? Did you get something to eat? I don't keep much as you can see." "Thanks Butch. Yeah, I'm good. Egg sandwich and a shower and I feel like a new man." "Well, just wanted to let you know. I talked with Marty this morning, just to get the lay of the land. Don't say anything smart about that neither. You might want to call Dee and let her talk. I know how it sounds but it might be worth your while to hear what she has to say." "Shit Butch. What could she say that would make a difference? She's been fucking around on me and that's the end of it." "Just call bro. Marty told me some shit that just might be true, but I don't trust her no further than I can throw her, so just call and talk to Dee, OK? You're a buddy and I want to see you do the right thing. If you want to do what we talked about after you talk to her, I'm good. Just talk to her first, OK?" If it was important to him, I'd do it, but it sounded like Martha had done some conning of her own. She and Dee had talked and made up some shit. Probably support for any lies Dee told me. Two of a kind. But, I would do it because I promised. I got a cup of coffee and went into the small den to call. Butch's apartment was a two bedroom with a large open space that included the kitchen, table and what passed as a living room. There was a couch where I spent the night. The little den was too small to be of any use for anything except maybe a home office, if the business was one telephone and a computer. But, it boasted a nice office chair and I felt comfortable in one of those. Like at work. Business! I picked up the phone and dialed. "Hello?" "Hello Dee. It's me. Sorry about last night but I just had to get out of there before I did something I would regret later." "Pete! Thank God. I had no idea where you were. I called Marty and she called Butch and he wouldn't tell us anything but he said he would get word to you." "Yeah, he called. Wanted to be sure I called you. I figure you got your story straight with Marty so she could sell him a line of bullshit so he would call me. Well, I'm calling." "Pete. That is so not the case. Please come home so we can talk. You stormed out last night before I could tell you anything. Please, come home and talk to me." "You told me all I needed to know last night. You and Marty, fucking those guys. Seems your guy is Jack's right hand man. I guess you were a reward from Jack for sticking by his mistress. I guess the two of them can set you both up in a love nest. Maybe you can take turns." "Pete! It isn't like that. I'm not sleeping with him! I've never been unfaithful that way to you. Never! You're the only man I've been with since we've been married. You have to believe that." "Sorry. I don't believe you. You were with him Saturday afternoon alone for over an hour and a half. In his car. Alone. I couldn't follow you to see where you went but I imagine it was somewhere you could be alone. Did you do him in the backseat of his car in some parking lot?" There was nothing but sobbing on the other end. I knew I was being cruel but when you hurt, you want to lash out and hurt the one that hurt you. I was hurting. That was my only excuse. "Pete. Please. You have to come home and talk to me. You have to. You owe me that much. If you don't believe me afterwards, fine. But you have to give me a chance to explain to you what happened." "Fine! I'll be there in an hour. You can talk yourself sick. Goodbye!" Why I agreed to go, I don't know. What did I expect to do besides hear more words that would hurt and wound. She had hurt me enough already even without knowing what she had done. Why punish myself more? Maybe, because, deep down inside, I was hoping that this was all a mistake, a misunderstanding, a bad dream that I would wake from soon? Even though I knew better, my subconscious wasn't giving up. Even with the love gone, pride forced me to hope for something I could hold onto. At almost 11:00 exactly, I pulled up to my house and sat in the driveway, just looking at it. It was a single level ranch that was what everyone called 'rambling'. It was actually very large and had four bedrooms, formal living and dining rooms, a small office and a huge great room. The kitchen was large and well appointed and it boasted an eating nook that overlooked the in-ground pool. I remember the sun glinting off the water yesterday morning waking me up. Was it just yesterday? With a sigh, I got out of the car and walked to the front door. As I did, I automatically noticed that the grass could use cutting and the shrubs in the front needed a trim. I rarely saw the house from the front so this was sort of new. I made a mental note to call the service that cut my grass. I went on to the front door and rang the bell. It took a few seconds but she finally came to the door. When she saw it was me, she looked surprised. Consequences - Delia "Pete." What are you doing at the front door? You never come in this way. Why didn't you use the garage door like always?" "I don't feel like I live here anymore. Nothing feels the same now. Everything is different, especially you. It feels different, is all." "Pete, please come in and stop talking that way. Nothing is different. Everything is the same as it was, we just have to talk together and figure it out. That's all it is." I walked into the foyer and stopped to look around. It seemed the same but I wasn't used to seeing it from this angle. I noticed things. The furniture she picked out for the entrance way; the formal dining table set with placemats and silver, the large bouquet of flowers in the center; the narrow glimpse into the living room with its sectional couch and matching everything; and Delia, standing there in a short, yellow sundress that showed off her tanned shoulders and just a hint of cleavage. I had to admit, she was still one of the most beautiful women I knew. I didn't speak as I looked around and then I moved away from her, toward the kitchen. I wanted this to be on neutral territory and the kitchen was as neutral as I could get. We had a designer redo the kitchen some years back and everything was his. I didn't look back as I took a seat at the table. Dee came in and moved to the counter where she had a fresh pot of coffee and a plate of shortbread cookies, the ones I loved. She set them down in the center of the table and took the chair opposite me. She looked wonderful. Her hair was brushed back and she had taken the time to make herself up to look her best. She had succeeded. But, that wasn't the point. I had always loved her and I had seen her at her best and worst and loved both extremes. Nothing she did would have changed my mind, except for this. This was too much. "Pete. I want to tell you everything but you have to let me say it. You can't just hear part of it and then get mad. I have to explain it all to you. So please. Promise me you'll hear it all. Not just what you want to hear, but all of it." I looked at her and could see the fear in her eyes. It made me uncomfortable to think that I had put it there but then I remembered it wasn't me. Her actions had done this. I would never hurt her physically and she knew it. The fear was of losing: me, the marriage and our future together. That was the fear. "I promise to listen to all of it. Every dirty little part of it. And don't worry. I have never hit you and I never will. You know that. But I will get angry. That I can't control. I can only promise to try to let you finish without losing it." "Thank you. That's all I need: for you to hear it all. And I never felt in danger from you. Never. Even when you were so angry and hurt. I knew you would never hurt me physically." She sat straight in the chair, her hands in front of her and clasped together on the table. "This all started about a month or so before Marty and Butch filed for divorce. She had been telling me about his affairs and how he was going out at all hours and screwing around on her. She said she knew all about it and had him followed. She said she had proof." I had to interrupt. I know I promised and I would keep my promise but I wasn't going to let this kind of shit go unchallenged. "So you're telling me this has been going on for over what, seven or eight months? You've been cheating on me for that long? And what proof? Did she ever show you any proof? And how did she know all this? Who was her PI? This is all bullshit and if this is what you're going to tell me, then I might as well leave now!" 'Wait! Pete, wait! Nothing has been 'going on' as you put it. And I said I was going to tell you everything and this is what she told me! I know it's not true now, but at the time, I had no reason to doubt her. I believed her!" I sat down and let her go on. I began to feel that this was going to be a bullshit session but I promised and, by God, I would stick to my promise. "She started to tell me about Jack Mason. She had met him at one of the company functions and they had become friends. He was the one that she said told her to hire the PI. He said he knew Butch and he would see what he could find out about him. And over the next couple of weeks, she told me that he told her that he knew of at least three women Butch was messing around with. When he was supposed to be driving, he was actually screwing around with one of these women." I was shaking my head, and I had to butt in. "And you believed all of this shit! I can't believe you were that stupid. The woman I married wasn't that stupid or gullible. When the hell did you get this dumb!" "I know it sounds crazy now, but at the time it didn't. It was about the same time that Marty started asking me if I knew where you were all the time. At first, I didn't even think about it but then later, I started to notice you were often late for dinner and had to go back in late at night and other things. She kept at me and I began to become suspicious." "Anyway, I started to think about it and I began to believe that you could be cheating on me. I watched and tried to be calm about it but you never told me what you were doing and I became more and more suspicious." "I finally convinced myself that you were actually cheating on me. That's why you went back after supper and why you came home late some evenings. You were with your lover!" "That's it! This is all bullshit and I can't sit still for this. I know I promised, but I can't. You're trying to make this all my fault and it's just bullshit!" I got up, kicked back the chair, knocking it over as I stormed out of the kitchen. I had all I could take of this. "I'll call you later, after I calm down enough to stand the sight of you." "Pete! Wait! Please!" I went out the front door, down the two steps and into my car. Again, I drove away just to get far enough out of sight to stop and calm myself down. This was all crap! I should have known! Crap from the beginning to the end. She just wanted an excuse to fuck somebody else and then blame it on me. Well, I wasn't going to stand for it. An hour later I was sitting in a little café drinking a coke, watching my sorry life evaporate like the bubbles in my glass. I had called Butch to let him know where I was and sure enough, he came striding in and sat down beside me. "Hey buddy. You can't do any real thinking with a soft drink. Come on back to the apartment and we'll have a couple of beers and a shot or two. That's what you need for good thinking." Damn if he wasn't right. We did and it was better. "Now, here's what I think. You and me, we need to go get those sumabitches and tear them both new assholes. You know Jack: he's a real pussy! And that asshole, what's his name: he's an even bigger pussy! You and me can take em out!" I kind of liked the idea. Maybe if I had another shot, it would help me make up my mind. I did and it did. "I think it's a damn fine idea. And the asshole's name is Phil. Real pussy name. When should we do this thing? Now?" "Naw! Today's Sunday, the Lord's day. You can't do shit like that on the Lord's Day!" "OK, we'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow is good. Tomorrow isn't the Lord's day is it?" "I don't think so. I think just Saturday and Sunday, or something like that. Let's do it anyway, tomorrow. We'll wait for them after work." That was about all I could remember after I woke up later that afternoon. Butch and I had shot most of the daylight hours drinking and making plans. But, strange, that I didn't feel hung over. I actually felt pretty good. Good enough that I decided to call Dee. I went back into the little den and called. "Hello? Pete is that you?" "Yeah, it's me. How are you?" "What do you mean how am I? You stormed out of here without giving me the time to explain like you promised. You promised not to take just parts of what I said. I never got the chance to finish. You promised!" She was crying and hiccupping again, trying to get the words out. Damn, she was good at that. Sympathy move. "I know what I promised. I just have a hard time with this bullshit you're throwing at me. Now you have me cheating on you and that's a damn lie. I'm supposed to sit there calmly when you tell me that shit?" "I'm only telling you what I thought at the time! I talked myself into believing it along with Marty urging me on. I see it now, but not then. That's what you didn't let me say!" OK, that calmed me down a little but I just didn't see how I could take this. "Dee, we have a problem. You're telling me all this stuff that you believed and you fell for and that's what made you do what you did and I'm having a real problem accepting that you were that stupid. It all sounds like a convenient excuse to me." "It's not an excuse. It's the reason I did what I did. I'm not accusing you of anything and I know you never cheated on me. I'm just trying to show you how confused I was. That's all." "Well, if I accept that you were confused and you thought I was cheating, why were you so quick to doubt me and accept someone else's word? Where was the trust and the faith in me? I think the truth was that you thought you had a green light to do anything you wanted with anyone you wanted. That's what I think. So how about we cut to the chase?" Silence. Just a few little sniffles but no sobbing now. Maybe she knew it was almost over. Maybe she knew that the battle was lost and it was time to cut her loses. "OK. If you come home, I'll get to the part about Phillip. That's the part you need to hear about. Please come home. Now, while I have the courage to tell you." "I'm on my way." I checked on Butch, but he was sound asleep. I jotted my whereabouts on a note and stuck it to the last of the beers in the six pack. Butch would probably sleep through till tomorrow but still. I wanted to be a polite guest. I drove home again and this time, went in the garage way. I had made my point earlier. She was sitting right where I left her, at the table. I walked over and took my seat, pouring a cup of coffee from the pot on the table. She took it from me, walked over to the microwave and gave it a minute. It was the same pot as before. One of the things that was puzzling me was why I kept ending up with cold coffee! Dee started right in, no delay, no buildup. "After the divorce, I spent a lot of time with Marty. She didn't really seem down at all but I thought she was hiding it. So, I went over almost every day. She seemed fine but she was still seeing Jack, which I thought was strange. I found out that he was married and mentioned it to her but she said he was going to leave his wife. At least, that's what she told me." "Pretty soon, she was seeing him every day so I stopped going over there. But a week later, she called me and asked me to meet her at the diner where you found me. I went and that's when I met Phillip. He was there with them." "Jack introduced me and we just talked and got to know each other. I just stayed for an hour or so and then left, but I promised to meet the three of them again. That's how it started." I started to fidget as she got to the part about that son of a bitch. I didn't want to listen to this but I felt I had to. I looked over at her and just nodded. "I had lunch with them twice more and then Phillip asked me to meet him alone for dinner. I refused at first but he asked me again later and I finally accepted. We went out to dinner three or four times, always alone. I told you I was with Marty on those times." Dee stopped to take a drink of her tea while I waited. I took several deep breaths to try to calm myself but to no avail. My heart was pounding in my chest and I feared a heart attack was coming on. But, I stayed. When she looked at me, she could see the anger building up and she hurried on. "I need to tell you right now, nothing happened at all at these dinners. Just two friends, talking and a little dancing. That's all. He was a perfect gentleman at all times. He was. Then, we didn't see each other for a week or so because he was traveling, but when he came back, he called and wanted to meet me for lunch. I accepted and met him at the diner. During lunch, he asked me to spend the night with him. I refused, but he kept asking. I still refused but I told him maybe later. I didn't say no! I said maybe!" She stopped and watched me, while I continued to breathe deeply and count to ten over and over. I was proud of myself for staying in my seat and not collapsing from a stroke. OK, maybe it was coming later. But so far, so good. "God, Pete! I'm so ashamed of myself. I said maybe. Maybe I would cheat on you and my marriage. Oh God, so ashamed. But, I have to continue. I have to tell you everything!" She had to notice the heat in my face as my blood began to boil. She grimaced at my expression but she continued in spite of it. I had to give her credit for courage. "I told Marty what Phillip wanted and she said I should go for it. She said that since you were cheating on me, I should do the same to you. She kept telling me you and Butch were two of a kind and you were both not worth staying faithful for. She finally admitted that she was fucking Jack almost every day. I was not surprised. I think I knew it." "I kept thinking about what Phillip wanted and I was weakening. I began to consider it and wonder what it would be like. I didn't accept yet but I was beginning to think that I would. I went to dinner with him a couple more times and the last time was when he pulled me into a corner of the restaurant and kissed me. I had never kissed him on the mouth in all this time but he kissed me that night. It was a soft, pleasant kiss and I didn't stop it, not like he forced it on me. Afterwards, I didn't say anything about it so he thought it was fine with me. But it wasn't. It made me feel dirty." Now she was the one breathing hard. It was interesting, watching her relive this. She was talking more to herself now than to me. It was fascinating to watch. "At home that night, I went over it in my mind, again and again. And after a while, it didn't seem so bad. It grew in my mind to be rather pleasant and I believed I liked it. I remember how he pushed himself against me and I felt his arousal. That's when I began to consider Phillip as more than a friend and as a potential lover." She stopped for a second to collect her thoughts and with a quick glance up at me, went on. "During the time I was meeting him for lunch and dinner, I began to see you as a potential block to the things I wanted to consider. Things like going out on dates with Phillip, going to dinner and dancing and other things. You were a drag on me and it made me angry with you. You didn't do anything but I did. It was all in my mind. I finally decided that I wouldn't make love with you any more either. You didn't deserve me since you were so busy cheating on me with those other women." I had been rather patient with her story up to this point and I promised myself that since it was over, what she did would not be of too much interest but that was changing. Her behavior was disgusting, her attitude was self serving and her whole story was one of selfish disdain for me and for our marriage. The anger I felt was beginning to grow and I knew that if something didn't happen soon, I was in danger of doing something I had never done: hit a woman! I stood up and, after a few deep breaths, I looked down at this woman I thought I loved. I had no idea how she could have changed so much in such a short time. But maybe she hadn't really changed. Maybe this was the true Delia. A slut waiting for a chance to come out and play. "I don't know how much more of this I can take. I don't know what the purpose of this is other than to make you feel better by confession. Well, guess what? I'm not a priest! If that's what you're looking for, I'm not him. So, if there's nothing else, I need to leave before I lose it and hurt you." She jumped up and went to reach for me, but I stepped back out of her reach. Her face was a mask of pain and panic. Still, no fear of me. For some reason, that gave me pleasure. She could hurt, but not from my hand! "I have to finish this. Until I do, you and I have no chance. You have to hear it all! Please, you promised! Let me finish!" I stood there, controlling my breathing until I felt my blood pressure fall back to some semblance of normal. After a few strong exhales, I felt myself relaxing a bit and I finally sat back down. "Get it over with then. I need to get out of here and into some fresh air. The stench in here is beginning to make me ill." That had struck home! I saw her wince with pain and shame and it made me feel good. I had finally caused her to feel some of the hurt I had been living with for the past three days. But, she sat back down and prepared to continue. "Phillip continued to call me and ask to see me again but I continued to say no. I was still considering and I think I was trying to work up the courage to say yes to him. I talked with Marty several times and she kept urging me to go ahead, reminding me of your 'affairs' as justification. I was still hesitating but I was weakening." "For some reason, you got suspicious and I noticed your attitude changing toward me. You may not know it, but after nine years of marriage, I knew you pretty well. I knew your attitudes, your face when you were thinking and when you were worrying about something. I saw worry and concentration on your face more and more. It started me thinking." She stopped to take a drink of her tea and put it aside. It had grown cold. Now she could drink cold stuff, just like my coffee. Trivial little shit not worth the time but the little flash of pleasure made me smile. She must have misunderstood my smile as one of doubt, because she started back from that thought. "You may not believe me but it's true. I guess now that I think about it, the same thing is true of you. That's why you became suspicious of me. You knew me and my habits and the changes were really major. I was just too stupid to see that about myself. That's what self absorption does to someone. I was so busy worrying about my own problems and things that I didn't even notice how my behavior had changed." "Anyway, I decided that I had to make sure you didn't really know anything but I didn't know how. I called Phillip and told him I had to be very careful for awhile but that I would call him when I could. He wasn't happy, but he agreed. That was Monday of last week." Now we were getting to it. Now I would hear the whole sad story. Now would come the truth! "I had lunch with him on Wednesday when you said you had a luncheon meeting at work. I called him at his office and we met that day at the Friday's restaurant in town. Just lunch, but we talked again about his request and this time I agreed. I said I would do it! I don't know why, except that I thought that I had better do it before I had to stop seeing him: when you got too suspicious or something." She looked at me to see how I was taking this but by now, I had stopped anticipating. I fully believed I knew what she had done and this was just the confirmation. Finally, the truth! I just returned her look with nothing in my expression. It was as cold and dead as I felt inside. She almost cried at my look but didn't. She swallowed, and continued. "We made plans to meet for dinner Saturday night. I would tell you that I was going out with Marty to a movie or something which would give us the entire evening. He made a reservation at the Skyview motel, the one near the diner." Now I was becoming confused. Saturday? She fucked this guy Saturday night while I was out drinking with Butch? After I had caught her red handed with his ass earlier in the day? No wonder she met him. Probably to tell him that it was definitely on and they didn't have to worry about dumb me. I knew nothing! Well, too fucking bad. I did know and now it was over. Consequences - Delia "That was before we talked Saturday morning. That conversation with you Saturday was a real shock to me and it woke me up from what seemed like a long sleep. I think I was just sleepwalking, listening to Marty, going out with Phillip and Jack and Marty and those lunches when you were at work. The lies she told me, and the suggestions that you were cheating on me and all of it. All of it was just a lie and I bought into it. But when you made me see the truth of it Saturday, I knew it was over. I had to stop it! All of it!" She was shaking her head back and forth as if to negate all of what she had done. She believed what she was saying and I found it hard to listen. But, she was almost done. "I called Phillip and told him to meet me at the diner. We drove around while I told him it was over. I had changed my mind and I didn't want to see him any more. What we were doing was wrong and I couldn't do it any more. He didn't want to stop but I finally convinced him I was serious. He still wanted to see me but I told him never again. It was over. He finally accepted it and drove me back to the car. That's when you saw me." So, that was it. After all of that, she hadn't even gone through with it. I was surprised but I did believe her. Dee was a lot of things, but she was never a very good liar. Even little white lies gave her a problem. But now, it was my time to talk. "Well, Dee, that is quite a story. So, after all the shit from Marty, all the lies you listened to and accepted, after all the clandestine lunches and dinners when you lied to me, you finally decided to consummate your affair and cheat on me and our marriage. But you couldn't go through with it. Why?" "What do you mean, why? Because it was wrong! I understood that and I stopped it." "But if it was wrong, why did you agree to it in the first place? Why all the lunches and dinners and the lies to me about what you were doing and who you were with? Why did you make plans to fuck him? Let him make a motel reservation? And why go so far as to tell me you were going out with Marty? Right up until that morning, you intended to go through with it. What stopped you?" "Well, you talked to me and told me that it was all lies from Marty. It was all in her head and she just told me that to convince me to cheat like she had done. That's why. I understood that it was a lie and that what I was doing was wrong." "So, you would have gone through with it if I hadn't finally made you see that it was all lies and face up to what you intended to do?" "Yes, I mean no, I mean . . . I just don't know! But I didn't and that is the important thing." "No it isn't. The important thing is that you were willing to believe the worst of me and you were seeing another man without telling me. The important thing is that you were ready and willing to sleep with another man, just because someone told you I was cheating on you. The important thing is that you never once thought of coming to me and talking to me. You were already cheating on us in your mind. All the dates: the intimate lunches and dinners. You were living with me but you were thinking of him. You stopped making love with me but planned to do it with him. You had accepted his proposition and were planning on committing adultery! Only my intervention stopped you." This wasn't going as Delia had planned. This wasn't the forgiving husband that she expected. The fact that she didn't actually sleep with the guy was all she saw. The fact that she had agreed to it didn't enter her mind. The lunches and dinners while lying to her husband didn't even concern her. The lies she chose to believe about her husband heard from someone else didn't concern her. Only the fact that she didn't actually do it was important. Only the sexual act made it cheating in her mind. She didn't even see the betrayal of intimacy and trust as cheating. They weren't important to her. "Pete, please. I didn't go through with it. I never cheated on you! I didn't! You have to see that! I didn't do anything, I didn't!" "Yes you did. You went out with another man, to lunch and to dinner on many occasions. You lied about it and kept it from me, which shows that you knew it was wrong. You made my life hell at home because you chose to believe someone else rather than trust me. He kissed you and you told me you didn't enjoy it but you didn't tell him to stop. You made plans to sleep with him and only stopped because I got in the way. That's what you did!" "No! No! That's not right. I didn't sleep with him and I didn't enjoy the kiss. I told you I convinced myself that I did. But I didn't." "No, you convinced yourself you did because you wanted to find a way to betray me. In your mind, you made it OK." Dee was now a wreck. None of this had gone as she wanted. Everything she said was different when I looked at it. I saw things she didn't want me to see and she didn't know how to handle it. She looked at me through tear clouded eyes. "What are you going to do? Can't you forgive me and we can start over? Try to fix this? It's not too late. I didn't do anything, so we can fix this. We can!" "It's too late. It was too late when you decided not to trust me. It was over the first time you went to dinner with him while lying to me. That's when it was over. You just didn't know it. Neither did I until you told me. Now I know. It's time for you to face up to it. Our marriage is over. It's dead and there's nothing left." Delia cried and argued and pleaded but never during it all did she once say that she loved me and needed me. She only repeated over and over that she didn't follow through with her affair. To her, that was all that was important. I believe she knew it was over and was just trying to convince herself, but it was too late. The love was gone. Hers as well as mine. She killed mine as surely as though she had kept that rendezvous at the Skyview Motel. Hers had obviously died some time before. She just didn't know it yet. I moved out that day, finally ending it. There was no marriage left to save. No love left in my heart for Delia. She had betrayed me just as surely as if she had slept with him. Love, respect and fidelity are the three legs at the base of any marriage. If one is damaged, the marriage is in trouble but could still be saved. When two are removed, the marriage collapses. The third leg is unable to prop it up. In our case, Delia had broken two of the three and had planned on the third. There was no way back for me. I filed for divorce the next day. Delia didn't fight it. Consequences are a bitch!