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Carlos Ch. 01

By: Your Girl Daisy



As I was sucking the chef's big black cock across the bucket seats of my Honda, I thought to myself what a long strange trip it had been...

I live a double life. I am a 40-something year old devoted wife... but my husband doesn't know what I do when he's not around. I have a secret. I don't know what took me so long to come out of my shell.... especially considering what I do for a living. But after 20 years of marriage, I needed an outlet for my unfulfilled desires and my out-of-control sex drive. So I started to play.

I am in a position of power in a business made up of young men. I have ready access to boys who want to be in my favor, either for opportunities or because they want to be associated with me. Some of them want the cougar experience and some just like to fuck. For many years, i did not take advantage of my position. This is about how I stopped being good and started giving in.

I have always liked to fuck and suck cock (and eat pussy on the right occasion). Before I got married, I fucked everyone I wanted: men, women, single, married, gay, straight, strangers, friends, everyone. And I had a blast doing it. Then I met my awesome hubby and lived a life of monogamy for 20 years. Don't get me wrong. Hubby & I fucked a lot and still do. He has a big hard cock and a love of eating pussy. But everything gets old after enough time. I needed other big hard cocks and other tongues in my pussy.

When I turned 40, it was like a bolt of lightning went through me! I had to have sex ALL the time. I have to get fucked every day and masturbate a few times a day. I walk around with a wet pussy 24/7 and I love getting fucked hard and rough. Now I live to suck dick. I want a cock in my mouth all the time. Mmmm. Cock. Wait. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah.

But when hubby turned 40, his sex drive DEcreased. I want to fuck more. He wants less. I was going crazy! So I finally gave in to my desires and began to have affairs with young men in my industry. It all started with Carlos.

Carlos was Cuban/Puerto Rican, my first Latin daddy. And 10 years younger than me. I was 40; he was barely 30. He was very macho. I loved his dark features, brown hair and skin, such a contrast to my blonde hair and milky white skin. We had been friends for about a year and worked together many times. We would often get high together after work. (I always have the best weed.) He would always hit on me, tell me how hot I looked and remind me that his apartment was right around the corner. Even though I always wanted to fuck Carlos, hell I had even masturbated to him several times, I wouldn't let myself go there. Until one day he said those 3 little words every girl considering an affair longs to hear: "I am moving." I thought to myself, "This is it! This is my chance to fuck someone else and not have any consequences." He asked if he could be my boyfriend for the next month until he moved across the country. I said "Yes". That was the beginning of a month of glorious fucking, an affair that lasted a year, and a lifestyle that I would embrace long after Carlos was gone...

I went into the bathroom at the theatre and waited, my heart pounding through my chest. A moment later, Carlos entered the bathroom and closed the door and locked it. I remember I could hear the show going on outside and I knew my husband was in the audience. That thought made me so hot and wet.

He said nothing, but immediately pushed me up against the wall, taking my breath away. He began kissing me furiously and his hands were on me at once. This was the first time I had even kissed anyone but my husband in 20 years and an electric shock ran through my body from my pussy to my scalp. I moaned "Carlos," and he said "Don't you mean daddy?" That made me even hotter. "Yes, daddy."

He moved from my mouth to my neck, licking and kissing me. I had on a shirt with a long zipper all the way down the front. In moments he had unzipped the zipper all the way and was grasping for my breasts. The next thing I knew my Double D tits were snatched from the black lacy bra that held them tight. His mouth instantly found them. He was sucking and squeezing my nipples hard while I tried to catch my breath. I reached down to his jeans, rapidly searching for his cock as if it were the oxygen I so desperately needed.

I grabbed his hard dick through his jeans and squeezed. I felt him get bigger and harder in my hands. He began to unzip his pants and suddenly I was sitting on the toilet of the tiny bathroom, he was standing before me with his thick Latin cock in his hand. I wanted it. No, I needed it. In my mouth, in my pussy, anywhere he wanted to put it. It had been 20 years since I tasted another man, felt another man. Hell, felt like this at all. I didn't have long to contemplate this because his cock was being thrust in my mouth. He shoved his dick so hard down my throat that I gagged on the head, but quickly opened wider to accept his whole cock.

I began to suck that cock like it was a long lost relative, like I was in a dick sucking contest and the prize was $1 million. I made up for 20 years without strange cock by licking the tip, slobbering it with my spit, flickering my tongue beneath the head and then sucking hard as I deep throated it and then slid my mouth back up the shaft. He began to moan, "Ay mami" and grabbed my hair tight and pounded my throat hard with that big Latin cock. My pussy was getting soo wet and jealous that it was not getting pounded, too. I wanted desperately to get fucked and hard, but I knew there was no time that night. I would have to be on stage soon. So I was a good girl and sucked his cock so good until he blew his wad down my throat. As he said something in Spanish that I'm sure was a compliment, I slurped up his warm cum while he fucked my mouth until he was dry.

Pleasing him, submitting to him, made me soaking wet and overcome with desire. My slippery wet pussy wanted cock and tongue and fingers but I zipped up my shirt, thanked my new daddy for letting me swallow his cum, and left the bathroom, returning to the show...

The Beginning



I tie your hands behind your back and pick up a very sharp knife. I start by cutting the bottom of your pants then slide to flat side of the blade up your stomach to your neck slowly so that you could feel the cold of the steal against your flesh. then I cut the front of your shirt open.

Placing the knife back on the table I would pull you pants off but leave your panties on... picking up a wireless egg vibrator I turn and slide my hand down the front of your panties and let the vibrator slither its way into your wet pussy.

I play with the settings till I have you jumping and jerking. Picking the knife back up I grab you by the hair to hold you still and cut through the front of your bra. I take your nipples one at a time into my mouth getting them nice and hard before I place nipple clamps on them and force you to your knees to suck my rock hard cock. I let you have your way with it at first letting you get use to the size and taste of it then I start forcing all of it down your throat making you gag on it before I let you up for breath.

As you gasp for breath I force it back down your throat till your eyes start to roll back and forth then I let you go as you drop to ground gasping for breath. I pick up a small dildo and walk over to where you lay, pull your panties to the side and slowly begin sliding the dildo up your tight ass. You can feel every inch of it as I push it in very slowly making it torture for you. then I move your panties back to hold the dildo in place and speed the vibrator up to a nice fast pulsing. I leave you lying in the floor and move over to pick up a nice stiff horse crop. I turn and lay the first lash across your ass making the dildo trimmer inside your tight hole. 

Every lash makes the dildo trimmer in your ass and drives it deeper. I lay lash after lash across your ass, your tits, and your pussy making them red and swollen. Every smack stings worse than the one before sending sensation after sensation rippling through your body the nipple clams tugging and jerking with every writhe of pain and pleasure as the viberator shifts and turns in your wet pussy occasionally brushing up against your g-spot as it pulses and trimmers inside you.

I lay the horse crop down and lay you on your back. My body presses against yours as my hazel eyes gaze into your eyes and my lips softly brush yours my hand slides up your inner thigh my black nails softly scratching your skin along the way. one nail begins to run along the wet outline that your juices have made in the material of your panties as my kiss becomes harder my tongue parts your lips and slides playfully along your tongue. I bring my hand slowly all the way up your panties and then slide it underneath brushing your clit as my middle finger moves down and slides inside of your wet cunt. it moves inside you forcing the vibrator deeper. My finger moves along the front inside wall until it finds your g spot. I release you from the kiss and smile evilly... I press hard against it and wiggle my finger roughly back and forth as my thumb presses and plays with your clit.

I lean over and kiss your neck biting it gently at first but the more you writhe and moan under me the harder I bite and suck. I take you to the edge of Cumming and then I stop. Pulling the vibrator out and laying it aside I place my hand on the outside of your panties and lean over your body as you try to catch your breath... I nip at your ear softly and in a teasing voice ask, "You ready for me to eat that pussy?"

I kiss my way down your chest and up you right breast removing the nipple clamp with my teeth and then taking your sore nipple into my mouth running my rough tongue across it soothing the rough pain and adding a softer pain to it then I kiss my way across and do the same to your other breast running my tongue over it and kissing it. I bit it gently before continuing my way down your stomach and licking around your belly button.

I pull your panties off and part your pussy lips so I can kiss your clit before taking it into my mouth and sucking on it. It slides in and out of my mouth sliding against my teeth as I occasionally bite and tease it. I suck it hard and fast while I grab to dildo in your ass and start sliding it in and out just enough to add another level of pleasure. I bit hard and release your clit. Shoving to dildo as far in your ass as it will go and holding it there I bury my tongue in your pussy licking at your insides and sucking your pussy lips.

You writhe and moan as I lick and suck your dripping wet hole. I kiss, lick and bite your pussy lips roughly sending waves of pleasure and pain through your body. You arch your back and moan loudly in ecstasy as you cum around my tongue buried in your wet cunt.

Your breath comes hard and quick as I begin kissing my way back up your body. Every kiss is like liquid fire. You moan softly as I lick your nipples. I kiss my way up your neck before kissing you passionately and deeply. 

Your breath catches in your throat as I shove my cock deep into you juicy pussy. 

Your fingers claw at my skin as I fuck you hard and deep every thrust sending you further over the edge of oblivion. 

Your pussy juices soak more of the floor with every thrust, you can feel your liquid covering your thighs and oozing between your ass cheeks as my hard cock violently pounds your pussy. 

My balls slap against your asshole and you scream loudly as you arch your back and cum soaking my hard member. The constricting of your hole massages my cock as I bury it deep in you and cover your pink wet walls with my cum.



The Beginning



I love to masturbate! Not just my hand stroking my penis, but getting deep in my asshole. I do stroke my very beautiful cock like most men. But I am crazy about backing that ass up to a hard dildo and letting it spear my asshole until I can't take any more. I have stretch my anus out to a 16 ounce beer can size gap. I have advanced to fucking my ass three or four times during the week. 

My love for anal sex started with my first wife, Amanda. She sold Avon products to earn extra money. One Friday night she had a group of very hot ladies over to our apartment for a Avon house party. She asked me to hang out with some buddies until she was done with the party. Being the nice guy that I am, I agreed and kiss her passionately and left for the evening with the guys. 

About 10:00 or so the telephone at my partner's apartment rang. He answered and told me the call was for me. I rose from watching a poker game and responded to the telephone call. 

"Hello, this is Ray." I said looking back at the guys playing poker. 

"Honey, can you come home? We need help setting up a table." My wife asked in a pleasant voice. 

"Sure, Honey! Do I need to bring help?" I asked not knowing how large or small the task would be. 

"No Dear, you can handle it alone, plus we girls can help." Amanda said very sternly. "Hurry Honey we need your big muscle to get this party started." Amanda finished the conversation and we ended the call. I said good night to the guys, who did not know I had several hot sexy ladies at my apartment. 

About five minutes and I was walking through the door at our apartment. The living room was filled with 6 outstanding ladies of all color. Very sexy outfits and perfume to make a flower garden ashamed. 

"Hello all you Voluptuous Dolls, I'm Ray, Amanda's husband," I said with a big smile as I looking at each one of the wonderful, hot looking, large breasted females.

Amanda rushed over to me and gave me a big hug and a long sexy kiss. Amanda was wearing a pink tank top, bra and cypress. "Girls, this is my man". Amanda said in a playful but protective voice, as she turn toward the other girls while holding onto my waist with her left arm . 

"Honey we need this table set up in the dining room." Said Amanda, leading me by the arm towards the dining room. The girls had move the dining room table out of the way and next to a wall. Leaving enough room for two large pool tables to be stretched out with plenty of room to shot pool. In the middle of the floor was a black leather covered pad about the size of a work out bench. A bit longer and wider than any work out bench I had ever seen. I knelt down to see what all was needed to be done to put this table together. I found a plastic zip lock bag filled with nuts, washers and bolts. The instruction were also included in the bag. I opened the bag for further examination. I found two cheap wrenches were included in the package also. 

I quickly surveyed the instructions and went to work as directed by the instructions. A beautiful blonde named Tracey knelt down beside me to help in the construction of the base. Tracey was about 5 foot 4 inches tall with large round breast. Her blouse was tight around her large breast. The top three buttons were undone. Her cleavage was plentiful and full. Her skin look as smooth as silk, 

The other girls took notice of my attention towards Tracey and wanted a part of my viewing pleasure. Le Ann, a tall brunette with a wrap around dress on, was next to offer her help. She was not wearing stocking or panties as she stooped down just on the other side of the pile of metal and leather covered pad directly in front on me. Le Ann legs were just far enough apart to give Tracey and I a glimpse of her clean shaved private parts.

"I love working with tools Ray". Le Ann said as she help hold the last leg of the base as I inserted a bolt through the two base supports. "You are really nice to help us girls with our table." Le Ann stated as she pulled her dress up to give Tracey an I a better view of her glory hole. 

"Ray, can I fix you a drink when you finish?" Asked a hot red head named Heather. She was wearing a red cow neck blouse and bent over at the waist asking me the question. I looked up to see two beautiful tits, and nipples already starting to harden. I stared at her cleavage while I tighten the last nut and bolt to the base. Heather was not wearing a bra. Her tight black leather skirt was a sight for my eyes and began increasing the blood flow to my penis.

"That would be great." I replied with a big happy smile as I continued to stare at the lovely freckled boobs. "What are we drinking?" I asked as I picked up the black leather pad and began attaching it to the base, returning my attention back to my task. 

Heather said, "I am going to make you a special drink for helping us girls with our table." Heather stood up straight as the girls started to giggle. Amanda came over behind me and knelt down against my backside with her thighs on either side of me. She use both hands to raise my polo shirt and started to rub my nipples. 

"My man has sensitive nipple to girls." Amanda made the statement as she softly caressed my nipples in a up and down motion. She keep doing this until I was almost finish installing the large black leather pad to the base. As soon as I finished tightening the last bolt, Amanda was still behind me kneeling. She pressed her pussy against my ass and started to hump me. I finish the table in record time. Amanda and I were still kneeling on the floor. She kept humping my ass as I stretched my arms out on the completed table in front of me. I closed my eyes and held my head back, turning my neck to kiss here again more passionate than the first kiss when I entered the apartment.

The girls started to cheer and whistle as we put on a little show. Amanda now moved her hands down to the waist band of my jogging pants. Running her fingers inside the waist band and my briefs. With one tug she exposed my naked ass for all the girls to see. Louder the girls cheered Amanda on to get more freaky. Not to disappoint the girls I thruster forward on the table to allow my bare ass to be in plain view. Amanda quickly mounted me from behind an continued to hump me firmly for almost a full minute. I smiled as Amanda slapped my right cheek hard with her hand. Then the left cheek received the same hard slap. The girls were getting very hot by our actions and started swaying and hugging each other. 

Heather can into view and handed my the drink she had promised. I push back on Amanda and started to stand up. Amanda quickly pulled up my briefs and jogging pants and then mounted the top of my lower back, as if she was getting a pony ride. I took my left hand and held her left thigh assisting her to stay put as I reach for the drink Heather had just made. 

Now all the other girls were gathered around us as I took a few sips of the very high alcohol content delight. Le Ann started caressing my left arm and touching Amanda's left thigh in doing so. Heather was on my right side softly rubbing my right thigh just beneath Amanda's right thigh.

"You did a great job Ray and quick too." Said April, a beautiful full figured black girl with very large breast, just barely covered by a tight light blue tank top. Her white shorts showed off her shapely short legs and nice round butt. I could see she was turned on from the hot action Amanda and I had done earlier, by the way her nipples were punching into the material of her bra and blue tank top. April was now standing directly in front of me. She firmly began stroked my stomach and muscular chest under my polo shirt.

"Let me down Honey." Amanda requested in a sweet playful voice. I handed my glass of alcohol delight back to Heather while I landed Amanda back on her feet safely. "Honey go sit down and enjoy your drink." Amanda added. "We girls are going to get down to business, I think you will enjoy watching." 

I retrieved my drink from Heather and went over to a chair the girls had been using while watching me assemble the table. I sipped my drink as I causally checked out the girls from a distance. The tone of Amanda's voice changed. She sounded very aggressive.

Amanda grabbed April by her left big looped ear rings and tugged it slightly. "Now bitch, you want to fuck with my man." Amanda scolded in a harsh tone as she grabbed April's throat with her left hand. April eyes widen as she leaned towards Amanda holding onto Amanda's arms so she could not harm her.

"No Amanda, I wasn't going to do nothing to your man." April pleaded as she looked frighten at Amanda. "I would never try to do anything to make you mad Amanda." April cried out.

"Well bitch you better get real an get naked, because I am going to fuck your ass." Amanda screamed at April. 

Amanda released April. Within seconds April was shedding her clothing until she was completely naked in front of everyone there. 

"Get my dick now Queen!" Demand Amanda, directing Queen, another black girl. Queen has smaller breast than any of the other girls, but she has an ass that is huge. Quickly she handed Amanda a brown dildo as big as a horse's dick. 

"Get on the table bitch face down ass in the air, and spread you fucking legs wide ass open slut!" Amanda demanded. April starter to shed a tear or two but did not hesitate to get into position in a hurry, April mounted the black leather table as directed, Her brown skin smooth and her pussy was shinning from her excitement. She was ready to get the large black dildo, even if she was not ready. 

Amanda screamed again towards Queen, "Get me some lube Queen so I can fuck this slut." Queen opened a plastic jar, stuck her fingers in and pulled out a wad of clear lube. Queen moved over to Amanda holding the brown monster and rubbed the lube on the head and half of the 18 inch shaft. Then she turned and slapped April's exposed slit and asshole with the remaining lube. April screech from the slap by Queen. 

Amanda came in from behind April and said, "This is what you get for fucking with my man." With one smooth stab Amanda forced the huge brown dildo in April's waiting pussy. April head came up off the table as she screamed, "Oh shit." 

"Hold that bitch down so I can fuck this slut like I want to." Amanda demanded. Le Ann stepped forward with a 5 foot round wooden pole with two black straps hanging from either end. Le Ann undid her wrap around dress and push it off her shoulders letting it fall to the floor. There Le Ann stood naked and very beautiful. Le Ann force April's head back down on the black leather table and mounted her pussy against the right side of April's head. 

Le Ann then lifted April's left arm sliding the wooden pole between her back and bicep. Tied the strap around her wrist. Pushing the pole under April's right arm the same way, Heather rushed in and secure both straps around April's wrist and hooking the two straps together. Insuring April could not use her arm to protect herself or get away from Amanda punishment. 

I raised my glass to take several sips of my drink before the action got started. I noticed I was beginning to feel warm all over and light headed, Turning my attention back to my wife with the brown dildo in hand. She inserted the massive tool back into April lubed vagina. Six inches of the monster disappeared by the first three long strokes Le Ann still sitting on April's head, lean towards her ass and spread both cheeks. Giving everyone in the room full view of a large gapping anus. The other women start removing clothing and touching each other harmlessly as they all watch my wife fucking this big ass girl.

Amanda quicken her strokes. April moaned with pleasure and started humping back on the large dildo being thrusted into her fiery pussy. Le Ann lifted her naked body off April but held on to her cheeks, keeping her ass open for what to come next. Deeper and deeper the dildo went into April. Her body was bucking wildly as she wanted it all inside her womb. 

About 25 minutes or so passed as my drink did as well. Amanda pulled the dildo out of April's pussy and past it around to all the girls to lick her juices off the monster toy. When it can back to Amanda, Queen applied more lube to the head. Now all the attention was focused on April's asshole. Amanda eased the head in very slowly, as if the dildo was melting. I could hear April, "Oh yes, fill my ass with all that pleasure, Fuck me good and hard." She said raising her ass high and arching her back to receive the 6 inches that was already in her backside hole. 

"Are you ready for me to fuck you slut like I want to?" Screamed my wife to April. 

To my surprise April screamed back to Amanda, "Come on hoe and fuck me!" 

With that being said, Amanda slammed the dildo into April. April began to rock back on every stoke, meeting Amanda's force with force. The shaft was glowing with Aprils ass cum as she welcomed every inch of the huge toy. 

I could not stand up as I was consumed by the drink Heather had made me. My body was nub. I could see the ladies but I could not do anything I tried to do. Le Ann came over to me, She grabbed my head in both of her hands and leaned me forward to her naked slit. Le Ann rubbed her pussy into my face. My nose was pressed against her clit. Her scent was sweet and her body hot. 

"Girl, Ray is ready." Le Ann called out to the other girls. At that time I lost it. I don't remember what happen after that. 

The next morning, I woke up, face down on the black leather table. Completely naked, my ass was sore and filled with lube. The same lube my wife used on April. No one was in the room by me. My head was aching from the alcohol I had consumed that night. I sat up on the edge of the table. I could see 4 different dildos just a few feet away from where I had laid. The dildos were all different sizes and lengths, A strap-on harness laid in the pile with them. Dried semen was on my stomach and around my mouth. I continued to sit there when my wife entered the room.

"Honey, you were great last night!" Amanda smiling and sat next to me on the table. She put her arm around me and kissed me on the forehead.

That night changed my life forever. Amanda and I parted and I love to fuck my ass.



The Beginning



A transformation is occurring, and I have decided to maintain a record of it. This is my first story, so please be gentle in the comments. If I'm lucky, I'll have more to write about soon. 

All past partners are melding into a single memory of that which was before him. In order to see the General, I have to promise not to have sex with him. It's an awful exchange, because he knows how badly I need to see him. He is in control, but he doesn't seem to know it. 

The first time we were together, he fingered me to the brink of orgasm for ninety minutes. The next day, I couldn't pee until after lunch -- every time I even thought about using my pussy, my Kegels would clench and my thighs would tremor. The morning after, he let me suck his dick in thirty-second increments until he filled my mouth with so much cum it spilled out of my lips. He didn't scold me, but I was ashamed. I promised never to let that happen again as I rubbed my clit to two orgasms in an airport bathroom. My desire for him only deepened.

The BDSM section of the small adult store in my neighborhood was never more than the shelf before the thick, brown dildos. Overall, the genre never elicited my attention beyond an occasional glance. I had experimented with light bondage as a dominant, still, belts and handcuffs had somehow escaped my sexual repertoire. I had certainly never been interested in being spanked before. So why, lying naked on top of his hot, dark body, was it all I could think about? He is known for denying me, so I breathe deeply to control the excitement growing in my chest and pussy. 

"Do you want to spank me?"

"We can try it," he replies casually. 

As I walk over to his pants, my pussy continues to swell. I don't want him to think I'm some kind of freak, and I'm beginning to think I should back out before revealing myself as a deviant. I already worry that he mistakes my love of his dick for a universal appreciation of the organ, that he's unaware how the specific chemical makeup of his precum makes me salivate in ways that are difficult to hide. I free his black leather belt from the belt loops and hand it to him. 

"How do you want me?"

"On all fours," he answers.

"On the floor or on the bed?"

"On the bed."

I wish he would command me. Still, I kneel on all fours. I feel the head of his dick graze my pussy as he positions his body behind me. It feels like my heart is beating somewhere else, outside of my body. Is he aware of how exposed I feel? I hear the belt buckle jingle as he situates it in his hands. I lean forward, exposing myself further and brushing my extremely hard nipples brush against the rumpled sheets. Time stands still when the General is not touching me. I can waste hours fantasizing about him inside of me, taking control of me, holding my wrists above my head as my body moistens and welcomes his perfectly sculptured cock. I force myself to not think about what I know is not coming.

The first hit is mild, but the second lands in the same spot with more force. I feel my pussy start to throb, but I delay touching myself for as long as I can. The strikes continue. Occasionally, he massages the pain around my ass and back, avoiding contact with my pussy. The shock and sting made me clutch the sheets.

"You're turning red."

I need to cum badly. The General doesn't like it when I beg him to fuck me. I move my knees apart, spreading my labia open to remind him he can have as much of me as he wants. He ignores me. But he is enjoying himself. I can hear his soft groans over my own as he continues to spank me, and the more I get the more I need. I give in to myself, cupping my pussy in my left hand. I can feel the wetness pour from my pussy onto my fingers. I plunge three fingers inside, grinding my clit against the palm of my hand. My ass is on fire but I love it. He is so sexy. Why won't he fuck me? I alternate between staring at his dick bob between my legs and closing my eyes, wishing he would bury himself inside of me. 

"Say you like it."

I do. I like it. I tell him so. The sound of his voice pushes me over the edge. Just as I think the need to have him inside of me is more than I can bear, my body responds to his presence, his scent, and the continued impact of the belt against my burning flesh. I cum harder than I have in years, maybe than I ever have before. Relief washes over me. I want to cry, but I can't reveal that level of weakness. I'm sure the General already knows my secret - I've surrendered myself to him completely. He can do -- or not do - whatever he wants to. I am completely vulnerable and burning hot. If he wanted to fuck me now, I wouldn't be able to take him.

I turn on my knees to face him as fast as I can, swallowing his dick to his balls, emitting muffled moans as I impale my throat on his cock. He continues to spank me while I push my face forward and back, savoring his taste and length as his pubic hair tickles my nose. He pumps back. I am doing things I couldn't have imagined doing a few weeks ago, things that I now initiate and crave. He won't fuck me. I try not to visualize who he is fucking. Is she more passionate? More beautiful? I suck harder.

"Shit. Shit. Shit."

He empties his dick into my mouth, but I keep going. If I swallow him, will he think I'm nasty? If I open my mouth and show him how happy it makes me to bathe my tongue in his cum, would he be turned off? I like to feel him spasm and soften, even as my pussy burns from unfulfilled desire. I'll wait for him to fall asleep before touching myself again.



The Beginning



Nothing Traditional About Us

As the title says, there's nothing traditional about us. Where to begin? I suppose it all began with me and Brad. 

Brad and I met on-line, isn't that always the case these days? But even in this respect it was a little bit different. I was stretching my wings, as it were, in writing erotica and I was looking for someone to read what I was writing and give me real input and advice. I had just moved into my apartment in New Orleans and I was starting over. A new life in the city I loved. 

At first I wasn't sure how to find anybody to give me their thoughts on my writing, but perseverance paid off and I happened to post a few of my stories and got some good feedback. Brad had some great input for me, gave me the male perspective, and most importantly didn't judge me for my fantasies. 

Over the course of the next six months we would email each other about my stories at first, and then eventually about everything. We chatted from work, texted when we weren't at work, and basically stayed in nearly constant contact. It was about 3 months into this that Brad started encouraging me to go out and meet men and bring them home to try out some of the ideas I was writing about. I really only tried this once before I just couldn't do it again. I have trust issues you see, and brining some random guy home to test out a theory on him just didn't work for me. 

Eventually Brad seemed to understand, and he'd listened to me complain about my body, my health and everything else long enough that he knew what he was getting into when he decided to visit me in New Orleans. He got a hotel room in the Quarter to make sure I didn't feel any pressure to try anything I wasn't ready for, and then set the date for us to meet, really meet, for the first time. 

While we'd exchanged a few pictures in the beginning, I wasn't really ready to believe that the gorgeous guy in those pictures was actually the guy I was going to meet at Cafe du Monde for cafe au lait and beignets. I expected him to be nearly the opposite. But there I was, sitting in my favorite corner in the back, reading a book on the political development of post-revolutionary countries when he touched my shoulder, very gently. It felt as though a warm glow started at my shoulder and went down my whole body from that soft touch. 

"Alice?" his voice was smooth and rich, like a piece of chocolate melting in your mouth on a hot day in the sun. 

"Brad?" I am fairly positive it came out as a squeaky whisper. This gorgeous man, who knew all my fantasies, could not be the man I was meeting for coffee. His smile was genuine and charming. Not something that a woman lacking physical confidence is usually prepared to see. 

"It's lovely to finally meet you Alice." He sat down, his smile still enthralling. It took me a few moments to regain some self respect and stop staring. I fussed with my book, my bag and my posture as I waited to feel even remotely like myself again. He seemed to see all of me at once. "You're still nervous, maybe this wasn't a good idea after all."

"No, it's fine. I mean, yes, I'm nervous, but I'm always going to be nervous so I just take it as read that I'm going to be gittery for awhile." I didn't want to tell him that I hadn't believed him for all those months, and I hadn't wanted to tell him that I was just in shock that this gorgeous man wanted to be here, with me. 

We talked about nothing for a while, he enjoyed his first taste of a real beignet, and I started to relax, half convincing myself that there was no way he was as attracted to me as I was to him, so my being flustered was just silly. 

After Cafe du Monde we walked around the Quarter for a while. He wanted to see more of the city and I needed to walk to distract myself from being nervous. We went to a few of the historic bars and he bought me drink after drink, never letting me pay for anything - which also made me more flustered. 

Finally he stopped me on the street after we'd left the 3rd bar, took my by the shoulders, made me face him squarely and told me; "I'm an attorney, you know this, I can take care of the drinks while I'm here, don't worry about it. I'm on vacation, with a beautiful woman showing me the city she loves, and acting as tour guide while I visit all these bars, it's the least I can do to buy her drinks while we're out." Finally understanding that he meant it, I relaxed and stopped fretting as much that he was buying everything. 

We walked through the Quarter for about 2 hours before he asked to see the places I usually hang out, the places he'd read about in my texts, chats, and emails. 

I lead the way out of the Quarter and into my neighborhoods, the Marigny and the Bywater. We started at my local watering hole, my own version of Cheer's where all the locals knew my name. I had intended to show him a few other spots, but instead we stayed at my bar. Playing pool with my friends, he was generous and bought beers for my friends and we settled in and I got silly, as is usually the case when I'm having a good time. Teasing my friends, playing pool, laughing and finally relaxing. It was almost 10 when the rest of the regulars I hang out with were all making their ways home, saying good-byes, shaking Brads hand and giving me questioning looks and hugs good night. As the bar started to fill up with the weekend crowd, that was a bit louder and younger than the rest of us, I looked at Brad and asked him what he wanted to do next. 

"Well, you've started yawning, maybe we should get you home. Do you want to take a cab?"

"Let's walk. I need to get some air before I head home, and it always helps avoid a hang over the morning after." So I lead the way to the corner store where I picked up a few bottles of water, and a few packs of cigarettes, and then lead the way to my apartment. It takes a good 30 minutes to walk home from the bar, and crossing a few major streets is always fun. At first Brad didn't seem to mind, but when the streets got darker and emptier he started walking more closely, until he almost had an arm around me, which in the heat and my state of drunkenness would have surely resulted in a fall. Finally it seemed he'd had enough; "Alice, lets find a cab, I don't like you walking these streets alone at night." 

I just stopped and looked at him, I'm sure with a very funny, drunken perplexed look on my face; "I'm not alone, you're with me." This didn't seem to assuage his concern, so I walked him up to St. Claude where we finally hailed a cab. 

In moments we were being let off at my apartment. Brad seemed unsure whether he should get out of the cab or if he should stay and get a ride back to his hotel. Finally I realized what was happening, I hadn't invited him in. "Oh, sorry. Would you like to come in?" His smile was as charming as ever. This man was going to make my knees give out soon. 

"I'd be honored." Simple and sincere. He had such a great way with words it was almost as enticing as his physique. 

As we entered my apartment I was trying to remember if I'd cleaned up, did I have dirty dishes in the sink? Was my bed made? I flipped on the lamp by the door as Brad followed me into my apartment. I looked around, trying to see it from a stranger's point of view. Technically my apartment was a 2 bedroom, of the shotgun variety, each room leading into the next, no real hallways or privacy. I'd been lucky when I found the place and was able to live alone. Enjoying all the space and spreading out. My front room was fairly bare, just 2 comfortable chairs, a trunk that when covered with pillows served as additional seating, and bookshelves along all the walls, all about 3 1/2 feet high, leaving the tops covered with art work, knick knacks, and unsurprisingly a cold cup of tea on its saucer. I dropped my bag in the chair by the door and turned to make sure everything was locked up tight before looking at Brad again. 

From the front room of my apartment you could see my studio/study. Half the room by the window dedicated to paints, brushes, and the random paraphernalia of a letterer and painter. The back wall of the room was given over to a sewing station that was more often covered by a drop cloth than used, with a few duct tape dress forms in the corner. The opposite wall was given over to my writing and homework desk. An L-shaped number with a computer tucked in the corner and books and paper scattered over the surface, spilling onto the floor in spots where I'd been working through one pile on my way to the next. 

Beyond these rooms was a small hallway-like opening that lead into my bedroom on the other side of the far wall, you could see the curtain wall bunched up, as the curtain was open to let the fall air stream through the apartment. Father back was the archway to the bathroom and kitchen at the end of my apartment. As was usually the case when the A/C and the heater are both off, the curtain there was tied back to allow more air to flow through the apartment. 

I took all of this in, knowing that this was home, my comfortable haven away from everyone else. My dog Zadist (tragically named after a character from a book I'd read) was softly barking in the back. He liked to stay in the laundry room when I was out, and he was coming down the hall to make sure it was me coming in, and sniffing out the scent of someone not me. Before he could barrel down the hallway I pushed Brad back, or attempted to, and stood before him so Z wouldn't jump on him. Z is a very faithful pit bull who came from an abusive home, and so he wasn't all that great around strangers at first. He was harmless to everyone he knew, but not to people he didn't. Z saw me step in front of Brad and sort of skidded to a halt, and by skidded I mean skidded right into my knees. Z has got one hard head! 

As I teetered drunkenly from the collision, Brad reached forward to steady me, and Z looked up at me in shock and a sort of 'oh God, she's gonna fall over, what have I done' sort of expression on his face. 

I sort of fell/squatted down in front of Z and opened my arms and he was in them in an instant. "Brad, meet Z" I said over my shoulder, giving Z love and assurance that all was well. Brad started to take a step forward when I stopped him. Not taking my eyes of Z. "Wait, give him a moment, he'll be suspicious if you try to move before I've introduced you." Rubbing behind his ears and getting wet kisses I reached behind me for Brads hand, "Z, baby, this is Brad. He's okay." Brad placed his hand in mine so I could hold it out for Z to sniff. 

Z did sniff Brads hand, only once, before he backed up to look at Brad, and then over to his bed by the heater where he could watch us. Brad still holding my hand, helped me up to my feet. 

"Well that wasn't so bad." Was all he said, starting to look around and take in my apartment. 

"Oh, don't let looks deceive you, he's keeping an eye on us, one wrong move and he'll be much less calm. He's never attacked anybody, but I don't often bring over strangers, so we'll see how this goes. Oh, and shoes off by the door please. I try to keep as much gunk off the floor as possible." I was already sliding my own shoes off and into the neat row of shoes I kept by the door. 

I'm not the greatest housekeeper in the world, but I liked to keep things in a usual place, and for me that meant shoes by the door, bike behind the door, and purse somewhere in the big chair by the door, this way I always knew where to find things when I needed them before leaving. 

"Well, this is it. My humble abode. I hope it doesn't smell too bad, I was painting this morning and I had the window cracked, but I'm never really sure if the smell of turpentine is too strong for others."

Brad was just looking around, as if trying to fit the different parts of my house into our various conversations. "So this is where you create your stories. I wonder if you've imagined half the things I have from your stories."

I blushed to my ears! My stories. I had in fact imagined many of them taking place in this very room, my studio was another matter altogether. I wasn't quite sure I could imagine any of the stories I'd written taking place in the room where I painted, lettered, and played violin when I was pensive or stuck in my writing or research. 

"Well, I'm sure I have, but I'm not sure you've imagined them in quite the same way." Looking around, I wasn't quite ready to face that yet. "Would you like something to drink? I've got tea, juice, and water of course." We'd talked many times about my various drinking habits, and my dislike for regular water. I had a fridge full of fruit that eventually found it's way into water each day. 

This seemed to bring him back to the present, as he blinked for a moment, then smiled and said, "Whatever you're having is fine."

So I lead the way to the kitchen in the back, pointing out the rest room on the way. 

For all that my living room and study were sort of cluttered, my kitchen was the opposite. I had a vintage kitchen table with four mismatched vinyl covered chairs, and various sized boxed where mounted around the kitchen for storage of spices, teas, pots and pans, and the various instruments of cooking. I took two glasses from the built-in cabinets where all the dishes were stored, walked over to the fridge and poured us each a glass of strawberry basil water. Then I turned around and was surprised that Brad was standing in the door way watching me. "This room seems the most like you." 

I smiled, it was true. For all my reading, research, writing, studying, and art, this was the room that always made me feel most at east. I loved cooking, and often had friends over a few days a week to cook for them. I was a strange one, I liked cooking more than I liked eating, and my friends were happy enough to come over and try the new recipes I'd try out. I shrugged. "What can I say, kitchens always make me feel more relaxed. Good food, good friends, good memories." Unsure what to do next I handed him one glass and then sat down at the table.

He smiled as he joined me, "I've been trying some of your water mixes." He took a sip and smiled, "You don't imagine these two making a good combination, but it's really quite good, almost soothing." 

I smiled. That's what I enjoyed about our conversations. We'd started talking about my fantasies, and eventually ended up talking about everything. 

After we sat and drank in silence for a few minutes I shook my head, smiled at him, and finally admitted, "I don't know what we're doing now. You've read all the things that roam around in my head, and yet I have no idea what you're thinking right now."  

He smiled too, "Ditto." was all he said. 

After a few more moments of just staring at each other I got up, I needed to do something, sitting and doing nothing was not my usual state. We'd discussed in some of our emails, how I am not a very physically confident woman. I'm never sure enough to make the first move and I wasn't sure what he was expecting, or even desiring, and that made me nervous. Z had followed us into the kitchen and made his way to his usual spot in the door way to the laundry room. He was watching us, making sure everything was okay. 

As I stood up and made to walk past Brad, he reached out to hold my arm, he gently turned me to face him and then pulled me into his lap. I wasn't prepared, I was nervous, and it was as if my mind had simply blanked. 

Brad reached up and took my face gently, but firmly, between his hands and drew my mouth to his and kissed me. My mind stopped, everything stopped, as I simply closed my eyes and let him lead the way. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, I tasted his groan as he deepened our kiss. Well I guess I wasn't clueless anymore. We kissed like old lovers, slowly, passionately, it was the perfect kiss. Then his arms were around me, and he was pulling me tighter to his chest, my arms wound themselves around his neck pulling him closer as well. Then I felt his hand on my knee, reaching below my skirt and up to my hip, then around and up my back beneath my dress. 

I pulled back, ever so slightly and he let me go, questions floating in his eyes as he looked at me, waiting for me to stop him, or to give him permission to keep going. I ran my fingers through his hair again, and smiled. "I don't know about you, but I think there's a better place to continue this conversation." His smile was instant and huge, I'd given him permission to go further. 

I smiled back as I stood up, taking his hand and my glass of water I lead us back to my bed room. Thankfully I had made the bed, but as it wasn't cold enough to need blankets, it was just a sheet on the bed and pillows scattered about. I backed up to the bed and he followed. We set our water down on the night stand and then he leaned down and was kissing me again, this time more forcefully, more passionately, simply more. 

My breath caught and my mind shut off. Brad reached down to my shoulders and slipped my dress down, I was only wearing a bra and boxer briefs beneath. He knew how nervous I can be, so he didn't waste time, he didn't let me think about it, before I could react, his shirt was on the floor next to my dress, his jeans were already on the way down and he was blissfully naked beneath them. He didn't let me think, didn't let me get nervous and introverted, as was my tendency, he simply reached for my face again and started kissing me. I felt his hands everywhere, then my bra was gone, my panties were gone, I was lying back on my bed and he was between my legs, kissing me, his hands everywhere, my sides gently, my hips a bit more forcefully, and then I felt the head of his cock brushing against my core. I moaned, I couldn't help it, he felt like magic, like perfection. He rubbed once, twice, I was dripping and so ready for him, I reached up to pull him to me, and then I felt him nudge his way in. He was so hot it felt like a coal had been dropped, and then I felt how thick he was, stretching as he pushed in. My hips lifted to make room, this is what I needed, this is what I wanted. As he pushed himself in I realized how long he was as well. I was in heaven. He filled me, completely, and yet I knew I hadn't taken all of him yet. 

Slowly he started to push, and pull, rocking into me. I was lost, I could only feel him. My eyes closed, my arms and legs pulling him in, deeper, and deeper. My toes curled as I rubbed my leg against his, as I arched my back to take him even deeper. He reached up to my head board for leverage and then really started to thrust. I moaned and I bowed as I came for the first time. I lost track of everything but feeling him, in me, thrusting, his hand on my hip, holding on to his arm to thrust myself up to meet his advance. 

I have no idea how long we kept at it, I lost track after the third orgasm. I hadn't felt this way in years. And then I felt it, that intense stiffening, the smaller, harder thrusts, "Yes, yes, oh god YES!" and then I felt like I'd be lifted up off the bed and into my pillows as he thrust one last, hard, time and then I felt my favorite sensation in the world. I felt him come and fill me up, the pulsing shot of each jet sending me into one last, massive orgasm. 

I must have passed out for a moment, so spent I could barely move, I couldn't even think. And then I felt a warm wash cloth between my legs, I came back to reality with a blush covering me from head to toe. No one had ever done this for me before. I wasn't prepared to feel this intimate already. I reached down to take the wash cloth from him, "Oh god, I can do that."

Brad simply brushed my hand away, leaned over and softly kissed my lips, then my eye lids, then my forehead. "It's my pleasure. You are amazing." I blushed even brighter, and turned my head into my pillow. 

I felt him get up off the bed, and heard him walk into the bathroom, the faucet running, and then his soft steps as he came back around the corner to my bed. He gently pulled the sheet down from beneath me, walked around to the other side of the bed, and got in behind me. He pulled the sheet up around us, reached around beneath the pillows for the body pillow he knew I had stashed back there, and then as if it was the most natural thing in the world he brought it around in front of me, knowing I needed it to sleep well. 




The Beginning



As I situated the body pillow between my legs, and tried to relax, he wrapped his arm around me and gently pulled me into his chest, his legs behind mine, until we were spooning. 

Normally I can't sleep this way, I get too hot and fidgety, but I was simply too tired to do anything about it. So I reached to my bedside table for the remote to my a/c, turned it on low and lay there. Hoping that sleep would find me. 

Behind me I felt Brad snuggle into my hair, and then he was talking to me, softly. "Just relax. Tell me about Z. Where'd you find him?" 

And so I started babbling about finding Z at the shelter, John and his boyfriend Chris going with me. Knowing I wanted to find a dog that felt right. After our third visit to the shelter, we met Z. At some point I just drifted off to sleep, because the next thing I knew there was a buzzing coming from my floor, an arm across my chest and below my breasts, a leg wedged in between my own, and a warm erection pulsing between my legs. 

It was sunny out, morning had come, and I'd slept like the dead, not moving an inch. I lifted my head to look around and figure out what was buzzing when I heard Brad hoarsely whisper behind me, "Morning". It came out sort of sleep slurred. I turned my head to look behind me and there was Brad, with a big smile on his face, and I felt his hand move to cup my breast. 

"Morning." I slurred back. Mornings were never my favorite part of the day. "Is that you or me?"

His smile grew bigger, "Me I think, yours was ringing in the other room earlier." He made no move to answer his phone, instead his hand was wandering down to my waist. I felt his erection pulse between my legs again and couldn't help my reaction, i pushed back against him, loving the feel of him, loving the fact that he was horny, awake, and wanted me. 

I felt his hips and his hand move at the same time, he positioned himself and slid into my already wet and waiting core and a sighed and gasped at the same time as he gently, but firmly, filled me to the hilt. His hand had moved down to my leg and he lifted it gently from behind to get better leverage and then he was lazily fucking me, gently but firmly from behind and I was in heaven. I didn't know what to do with my hands so I reached around to his hip and held him to me as he continued to trust into me. 

I hadn't had morning sex in ages, and this was the best morning sex I could imagine. He kept thrusting into me and I kept pushing myself back on to him, meeting him each time, we stayed like that for only a minute before he pulled me to his chest and brought both of us to our knees. Then he was guiding my hands up to the head board until I held onto the rails, then his hands were on my hips and his gentle nudges became long, thrusting swings of his hips as he started to really thrust into me. Each stroke became longer, and more forceful, "Oh God, Alice, you feel incredible" as his thrusting sped up and became more forcefully. I was pushing myself back on to him, meeting him thrust for thrust. "Oh God, Brad, Yes!" I couldn't think, he was everywhere. Neither of us could last long, I was coming nearly constantly, I could feel his whole length, the ridge of the head of his cock, plowing into me, the girth stretching me and filling me, he was buried so deep I thought he was going to crawl in and make a home for himself. And then his was thrusting faster, shorter lengths as I clenched him harder, loving the feel of him, and then we were rocking the bed as he was plowing into me so fast I couldn't keep up and I melted beneath him, "Oh god! Yes. That's it, Oh god I need to feel you come." And then I did, like a spark being set off and I came, gripping him harder and harder as I felt him swell and the heat of his cum filling me up. 

After the last jet hit, he was leaning on me, his arms on either side of me, his head on my back. I could feel his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. "Oh god, Alice. What are you doing to me?" I felt him twitch inside of me as I squeezed every drop from him. 

I couldn't think, I couldn't speak, and then I just collapsed and he followed me down, turning us just a bit so all of his weight wasn't on my back. I just lay there, panting and trying to breath. I felt like I'd exploded and all the bits and pieces of me were just beginning to take their usual place. 

We lay there until the buzzing on the floor started again. He was getting softer inside of me but I didn't want him to pull out. I loved the feel of him inside of me. I knew then that whatever may happen, I'd changed, and the feel of him inside of me was something I was going to want every day, every night, and as often as possible in between. And then I remembered, as if I'd somehow been struck by lightning. This couldn't last, he didn't live here, he lived in Chicago, and I was not going back to Chicago after finally making a life for myself here in this city I loved. 

I felt as if I'd been gut punched and body sort of jolted and sighed all at once. 

Immediately I felt Brad wrap his arm around me, "What? What's wrong?" 

"This won't last. You've got to go home, and then I won't feel this anymore." 

There it was, my worst fear. The reason I was so nervous when we met. This was wonderful, he was wonderful, the sex was amazing, and he was going to be leaving tomorrow night to go back to Chicago. I only had him here with me this weekend, and then our lives would go back to what they had been before, but for me that would be emptier. 

I was never one to sleep around. My emotions are too tied up in my hormones. It's too hard for me to separate one from the other. This is what I had feared. But I didn't know how relationships worked, and I feared them almost as much as I now dreaded his return to Chicago. 

He nuzzled my neck, "Don't go there. We have a few days, we'll see how it goes. Slowly. We'll figure it out." There was such confidence in his voice that I almost believed him, I wanted to believe him. 

We lay there with our thoughts for another moment, and then I felt him slip out of me. A sort of sloppy, slurping feeling that had me blushing again. I tensed, and stirred, "I should probably go to the bathroom, and you should probably find out who's trying to reach you."

I have so many trust issues I could start a bank, I didn't know what his life was really like in Chicago, any more than he really knew what my life here was like. 

I held me closer to him for a moment, and then let me go. "You're probably right." 

I felt like lead had entered my chest and was taking up root on my lungs. I reached over to the bed post and pulled on the robe I kept for emergencies, and bolted for the bathroom. I didn't have the courage to watch this beautiful man, this incredible lover, get up from the bed and find his phone and answer it. 

After my ablutions I peeked out of the door, only to find Brad leaning against the wall, his jeans on again, but not all of the buttons done up. "Mind if I have a moment?" He asked, a smile in his words and on his lips. 

"Oh, yeah, of course." I blushed again. I was always one to blush quickly. I opened the door more fully and let him in as I sneaked past. "Do you want some coffee? Or tea?" 

"Whichever you're having is fine." he said as I tried to duck past him, but he caught me in his arms and leaned down to kiss me, quickly, gently, as if we'd been doing this for years. His smile reached his eyes, but I was sure that only panic was reflected in my own. He sighed, kissed my forehead, and then released me so he could use the bathroom himself. 

I scurried into the kitchen and and started the coffee, then dashed down the hall to the front room where I'd left my purse, and my phone. Three missed calls from John, and two texts from Wade asking if I was going to come down to sell my art in the Quarter today. 

Distracted from my panic, I texted Wade to let him know that I wasn't coming down today, finally telling him that I had company in town, and then called John back. "Hey babe, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing special. I wanted to check in with you and see how last night went. Did you meet him?"

John and his boyfriend Chris were two of my closest friends, and of course I'd told him about Brad coming to town this weekend. I'd been nervous and while John was all smiles and confidence that this would be a good thing, and Chris was smiles but in a bland sort of 'oh boy, let's see how this turns out' sort of way, the truth was they both cared and both of them wanted to see me happy. As all happy couples want to see their friends happy. 

I blushed, again, and grimaced at the same time. "Yeah. We met at Cafe du Monde and then walked around the Quarter for a while, and then we went to the bar, and well, he's here now. I was just making coffee." It was then that I looked at the time, nearly noon. I never slept this late anymore, not even on weekends. "Oh crap! It's that late already?"

John just laughed, he was happy for me, and trying not to let me think about my fears. "I guess you had a good night. I was going to ask if you wanted to go see Chris and have brunch, but it sounds like you need to wake up still. Want me to swing by later?" John usually came by on Saturdays and we'd walk all the dogs together down by the river. 

"Uh, let me get back to you on that. He's still here and I don't know what he wants to do." 

I was walking back to the kitchen, taking cups down, reaching for the creamer, and generally going through the motions while we chatted for a few minutes. John wanted to know if/when he and Chris were going to get to meet Brad, and I was panicking, as was my tendency when anything good happened. I was waiting for it to fall apart, and I couldn't get past the fact that Brad lived in Chicago. 

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I was barely listening to John and didn't hear Brad come up behind me. I yelped and jumped when I felt Brads arms wrap around me from behind. "Who's on the phone?" he mumbled as he nuzzled my neck. 

"Hum, oh, John."

"Good morning John" Brad said, loud enough to ensure that John heard him through the phone.

"Oh, god, that's a great voice. Well, okay, I'll let you go. Let me know when we can come by and meet him." You could hear the excitement in John's voice. He wanted me to have something, and someone good in my life, and he'd decided that Brad was going to be that someone and something. 

"Okay, I'll talk to you later" I mumbled, and hung up the phone. "The coffee'll be ready in a few minutes." We could hear it percolating in the background. 

I felt Brad's sigh and chuckle against my back. "You've gotten into your head, haven't you?" He asked in a sort of amused and tolerant tone. 

"Sorry, I can't seem to help myself. I just can't turn it off." 

I could feel Brad shaking his head against my hair, which I was sure was everywhere and frizzy. "What if we pretend that I'm not visiting, but that I live here, and we're going to spend the day together, getting to know one each other in person after all these months talking on line?" 

And though I was nervous, we did. I made breakfast, then texted John that we were taking Z down to the river to run, and he joined us wit his two smaller dogs that were very bossy when around Z, and of course Z let them be. We walked, and talked, and let the dogs run into the river and around the end of the world. John and Brad got on really well, and later he took the four of us to dinner so he could meet Chris and be vetted by my closest friends. 

That evening, instead of going out, after dinner we all gathered in my back yard, the lamps that John, Chris and I had installed offered a soft glow, we used my phone for music and sat around the back porch as the dogs played in the yard, and we talked well into the night. Finally the boys left, and it was just Brad and I. 

I'd been trying all day not to think about the fact that tomorrow night he was going to get on a plane back to Chicago, or that I was going to be doing laundry and getting ready for the week ahead. We were resting in the chairs around the table the boys and I had scavenged, my feet were in Brad's lap and he was rubbing my legs and watching me. We hadn't said anything for a while, both of us just watching the other. 

Eventually Brad broke the silence, "So what do you usually do on a Sunday?"

I smiled, "Well. Usually I'm out here gardening between loads of laundry. I told you I hang dry everything?" He nodded, but kept quiet. "Well, usually I spend the morning out here before it gets too hot. Then I'm in the house for a while, cleaning and the like. I usually start the crock pot and a loaf of bread around 10. Then it's off to the store for groceries for the week. Then home to finish the bread and whatever I've started making for the week. Then it's studying, or writing, and generally getting everything in order. Around 8 I usually brining in the last of the laundry and do any ironing that needs to be done. Then I usually watch a movie on my laptop in the living room, make a salad for dinner, and head to bed around 10. Nothing all that special. Why, what do you want to do tomorrow?"

For a moment he just watched me, then he smiled, and said, "That sounds perfect." 

I just laughed, surely not. Surely a day of domestic bliss did not sound perfect to this man. Once he'd told me he had his laundry done for him, not just his dry cleaning, but everything; and he had a maid who came in and cleaned his apartment three days a week. How could my day of house work, chores, and cooking sound perfect to him. 

Sunday afternoon I took him back to his hotel, then waited while he gathered his things (we'd stopped by on the way to the river yesterday so he could change) and then he wanted to go grocery shopping with me, so we took my car out to Wal-Mart and I did all my grocery shopping for the week, which really isn't much as I grow so many of my own vegetables. Then I took him out to the kosher grocery store I shopped at in Metairie. He seemed content to just walk with me and let me babble about this or that research or recipe as they came to mind. 

When we got back to my apartment he helped me load everything in, and then unpack all the groceries. I'd started a loaf of no-knead bread before we'd left so the kitchen was warm, almost too warm, and smelled of yeasty goodness when we got back. I tried not to watch the clock as time marched ever onward. And then it was 6 o'clock, time to take him to the airport. He'd offered to take a cab, but I'd waived him off and told him it was silly to spend money on a cab when I could take him. Z and I followed him out to my car once more, and we drove to the airport. I was heading to the curb to let him out when he asked me to park instead, so I found parking in the shade, cut off the engine and waited. 

"Won't you walk me in?" He asked. 

I didn't know what he was thinking, but I knew it would be too hard for me to watch him walk down to the terminal and board his plane, so without looking at him I shook my head. "It's too much for me, I'm sorry. I can't watch you walk away." I was looking down at my hands, and then his hand was there, taking both of mine from my lap. 

"I won't be gone for long. I have a meeting tomorrow, and a few more between Tuesday and Thursday. May I come back Thursday night?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was coming back? He wanted to come back? So soon. But what about his life in Chicago. I snapped my head up to look at him. "You're coming back? So soon?" The shock I was feeling was evident in my voice and Z moved behind us to poke his head into the front seats. 

Brad was smiling at me, like he had been the night before when he said my home day sounded like a perfect plan. "Of course I am. You didn't think this was just a one-time thing did you?"

I'm fairly sure my jaw dropped onto my lap. "I didn't know what to think. I mean you live and work there, and I live and work here."

"Well, I was waiting for you to bring it up again before I said anything, but I've decided to come back, and I'm hoping you'll have me. I can work remotely most of the time, and fly up and back for important meetings and depositions. But for the most part I don't need to be in the office all that much. I'd already brought it up to my partner before I came down, just in a hypothetical sense. We worked out most of the general stuff, but we'll sort out the details. Besides, he's always been the better face of the firm and he enjoys trial more than I do. I can keep the back end stuff going from here, for the most part. Like I said, I'll have to go up a few times a month for meetings and the like. Maybe you'll join me sometimes?" 

I felt like I'd be run over by a truck. Here was the man who made my head spin, and yet made me feel like I was attached to the earth, and he was offering to basically move down to New Orleans, for me, after a weekend together. I couldn't speak. I could only look at him in shock. "Are you sure?" I finally squeaked out. 

"I've been sure for a very long time, you're the one who needed to catch up." His smile lit my world that night. 

And so Brad moved in with me, he flew up to Chicago every other week, sometimes once a week. He and his partner decided to keep his apartment but use it as a business asset, letting clients and guests use it for meetings whenever we weren't using it for his own meetings. I flew up with him once a month usually, visited friends, did some shopping, he'd take me to the theater. 

When I went back to school in the fall I went up to Chicago with him less often, and his trips there became shorter and shorter. After about six months we started looking for a bigger apartment or house so each of us had an office. We finally found a house Uptown that had great lighting for my art and writing, and an office that he turned into a haven of the industrial world and it's legal concerns. His partner and his wife would come down a few times a year and stay with us. 

It felt like it happened so quickly and then about 18 months after we met we were married, in a small, civil ceremony. John, Chris and many of our friends from Chicago and New Orleans joined us for a big wedding party. But Brad knew that family gatherings made me nervous and he kept it all very casual, just a big party to celebrate. No toasts, no wedding like events. Just good friends, good food, good music and lots of silliness. 

About a year later Brad and I met Fred, and while many things changed, all of the important ones only changed for the better.



The Beginning



"And then the blonde sighs, and says, 'Please, not another breathalyzer test!'"

I laughed along with the other girls once Julie finished her joke. Julie was blonde and thought that all blonde jokes were hilarious. She knew them all, and with the slightest encouragement, didn't hesitate to show her prowess. She was on a roll tonight.

I sighed to myself, and tried to think of an excuse to leave. My work day had been particularly long and difficult. I was tired, and just wanted to go home, take a bath, and curl up with a good book. I don't know why I let the girls from the office convince me to go with them for dinner and drinks, but I did. I was regretting the decision now that my exhaustion was catching up to me.

I listened with half an ear as Julie continued to chatter, and glanced around the room while I waited for the waitress to come back to our table. The restaurant was a local favorite in the summer because of the outdoor Tiki bar. It was a gorgeous evening, and the Tiki bar was packed, which meant a long wait, so we opted to eat inside. There were only four other occupied tables, so we had been seated immediately. 

I took a sip of my Long Island Ice Tea and discreetly checked out the other diners. Seated to our left was a young family. Their three kids looked to be under the age of five. One parent was paying the bill, while the other collected the various toys that had made their way on to the table and the floor, so I knew they'd be leaving shortly. 

An older couple was seated on the other side of the room. They both concentrated on eating instead of on each other. It made me wonder if they were fighting or if they had just run out of things to say.

Three thirty-something guys sat at the table next to ours. I noticed that they were busy flirting with one of the girls at my table.

The last occupied table was tucked into the back corner of the restaurant. A man and woman who looked to be business associates were seated there. I started to direct my attention back to the flirt-a-thon going on next to me, when something caught my eye.

The woman, dressed in a white shirt and dark skirt, started to unbutton her blouse. She was seated at an angle from me, but I clearly saw her open first one, then two and finally three buttons. Her hand moved toward her lap, but stopped in mid-air and hovered when the man spoke. I swear that I saw her hand shake as it moved back toward the buttons. I was fascinated, and suddenly didn't feel quite so tired. I wished that I was closer to their table, so I could hear the conversation. The woman's next move, however, made my jaw drop.

Instead of moving her hand to button her blouse, she slid it inside the opening and began to play with her breast. It looked like her hand was massaging it, and maybe pulling and pinching her nipple. I looked around at the other diners, but they were all focused on their own little worlds, and totally oblivious to what was happening right in front of them.

My eyes snapped back to the woman in the corner right when she changed hands and began playing with her other breast. I wondered what her companion thought of her actions, so I shifted my attention to him, only to find him staring directly at me. He'd caught me staring! It felt as if the air was suddenly sucked from the room.

I gasped, embarrassed to be caught, and bent my head to concentrate on my drink. I took a couple of sips and wished that I had the nerve to hold the cool glass against my heated cheeks.

Our server arrived to deliver fresh drinks. I could hear the voices of the man and woman rising above the chaos of the clinking glasses and the noisy exit of the family. Using the server as a shield, I peeked under my lashes at the back table. The woman was buttoning her blouse in between making large gestures with her hands. Then she got up and walked out of the restaurant. The server chose that moment to walk away with her load of glasses, and I was once again captured by the gaze of the man at the table. He knowingly quirked an eyebrow at me. 

"Earth to Clare. Come in, Clare."

My head snapped around upon hearing my name, and I looked questioningly at Karen, who was seated next to me. 

"Didn't you hear me ask you to scoot your chair? We're going to make room for the guys." She pointed to the thirty-somethings who were busy moving from their table to ours.

"Sorry," I said. "I spaced out there for a minute. I must be more tired than I thought."

I stood up to move my chair, and chanced a look at the back table. The man was gone. Just like that, the evening went flat, and my exhaustion hit me like a brick. I didn't allow myself the time to examine why that was the case. I moved the chair, pulled some money from my wallet, and set it on the table. 

"Karen, I'm going to head home. Would you make sure the server gets this for my drink?"

"What? Clare you can't leave. The fun's just starting." She smiled and canted her head toward the guys.

"Don't worry about me." I eyed the evenly matched girls and guys. "Besides," I said with a laugh, "seven's a crowd."

They all made half-hearted objections, but didn't really put up a fuss as I said my goodbyes and left the restaurant.

The sun was low in the sky, but still bright enough for me to need my shades. I pulled them on, and started toward my car, but stopped short when I saw a man - THE MAN - walking toward me. I was a little nervous at first, but remembered all the people circulating around the Tiki bar, and relaxed slightly.

It only took seconds, but it felt like hours passed as he approached me. I noticed that the suit jacket and tie were gone, and that he'd rolled up his shirt sleeves. I also couldn't help but notice his toned physique. He stopped in front of me and I was both disappointed and relieved that his eyes were also covered by sunglasses.

"You surprised me. I had to wait longer than I expected."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," I said.

"Don't you? You were watching me. I knew you'd follow me out when I left."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Of all the conceited, egotistical and presumptuous things to say!" I wanted to add in a few more adjectives, but I was embarrassed and on a roll. "I was not watching you at all, and I certainly didn't follow you out here like some sort of faithful puppy. Why would you even think that I'd have anything to do with a man whose date practically undresses, then walks out on him?"

Dammit! I went too far. I just admitted to the very thing I was protesting.

"I thought you said that you weren't watching." He smiled, took off his sunglasses and stuck them into his shirt pocket. "You've got a lot of spirit. I like that."

He took a step closer and looked down at me with the sexiest blue eyes I'd ever seen. I totally forgot that I was pseudo-mad at him. I was drawn to his gaze and didn't even look away when he reached up to pull off my sunglasses.

"You have a very expressive face, and those beautiful, brown eyes give you away every time." A finger slid along my jaw. "I would like to get to know you better." He reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a business card and held it out to me.

"How do you know that I'm even available?"

"We wouldn't still be standing here if you weren't. I'm pretty sure you would have set me straight when you were giving me hell a minute ago."

I felt my face heat.

"And she blushes, too!" he said teasingly.

I reached up to take the card, and felt a tingle when he wrapped his hand around mine.

"My business info is on the front, and my personal info is on the back. I don't want you to feel threatened. Check me out, and then call me when you're ready." I nodded. "Good girl." He kissed my fingers and released my hand. "I look forward to our next encounter."

"Still presumptuous, I see." I couldn't resist the poke.

He smiled, bent his head next to mine and whispered in my ear. "Call me, Clare." Something in his tone made me shiver despite the summer heat.

"Whatever you say," I paused, "Clare."

He gave a bark of laughter and gently set my sunglasses back over my eyes.

"You and I will get along just fine, my dear. " He turned away and started to walk to his car.

"Wait!" I yelled. "How did you know my name was Clare?"

He turned toward me, but continued to walk backward. "Call me, and I'll tell you. I'll talk to you soon, sweetheart." With a final wave, he got into his car and drove out of the parking lot.

My heartbeat eventually slowed, and the surrounding sounds came back into focus. I looked around and realized that I was standing alone in the middle of the parking lot. I quickly walked to my car and got inside. My drive home was done almost on autopilot as the events of the evening raced through my mind.

It was while standing in my bedroom after taking off my work clothes that I realized how aroused I was. My nipples were hard and sensitive. I took off my bra and pinched them. Mmmmm...that felt good, but maybe - yes, harder. The woman at his table was pinching and pulling her nipples like this in the middle of a restaurant. Why? And how, I wondered, did she manage to do it without moaning aloud? I couldn't.

What was it like to have him watch her? I stepped over to my nightstand and picked up his card. Gabriel. I liked the way his name sounded on my lips. I slid a hand down the front of my panties, and didn't need to go any farther to know that my bare pussy was already slippery with my juices. I suddenly needed to come very badly.

I shucked the panties and grabbed my dildo before lying down on the bed. The card was still in my hand, so I brought it to my nose. There really wasn't any sort of scent. I wondered if he wore aftershave or cologne. I wanted to be close enough to him again to find out the answer.

I started to put the card back on the night stand but instead, flicked the short end across one nipple. I felt the resulting zing flow directly to my pussy, so I did it again and again, alternating between nipples. Back and forth. I experimented with short flicks and slow, dragging motions. My nipples ached through all of it. I put the card down and used both hands to tug on them. I found that rolling them between a thumb and finger, before pinching hard and holding them, gave me the best sensation. It was almost a little painful, but it also felt good. 

I picked up the dildo and slid it along my pussy, top to bottom, getting it wet, before pushing the tip inside. I made myself wait to be filled, and just held the tip in place. I imagined that it was Gabriel poised above me, waiting for me to beg for his cock. My hips twitched and I couldn't wait another minute. I began to firmly thrust and pull the dildo in and out repeatedly. The tip of it started bumping that spot deep inside me with satisfying results. I gave a few more rough thrusts, and came hard with a yell. 

I waited two weeks to call him. I was able to find out a lot about him during the first week. A friend's fiancé was in the same business and knew him well, so I felt comfortable moving forward. I waited an extra week though, because I didn't want to appear to be too eager, but also because I knew he expected me to call right away, and he needed to know I don't always do what's expected. 

We were in each other's company a lot during the next month. We went out, talked on the phone and spent time in each of our homes getting to know one another. Our conversations were eclectic. The topics ranged from the very serious to the wildly crazy. Nothing was off limits. Sex and all its aspects were discussed. That's how I found out that Gabriel was Dominant (which explained his presumptuousness). Our D/s talks also helped me comprehend my need to be sexually submissive.

Our time together was intimate without being sexual. Though we spoke very frankly when discussing sex, we never engaged in anything more than a chaste kiss on the cheek. On one hand, it was a refreshing change of pace, but on the other, it was ridiculously vexing. Talking with him, hearing his voice and imagining myself in the situations he described, excited me. I was aroused whenever we were together. Hell, I was aroused even when we weren't, and I let that arousal build. I didn't masturbate once during that month. Looking back now makes me think that he'd planned it that way all along. I was already attuned to obey him. We have an official start date for our D/s relationship, but I realize now that he'd become my Dom the moment our eyes met in that restaurant. 

We were going out tonight to celebrate our first month of being together. I was really excited to see him. I agonized over what to wear, and spent an equal amount of time chastising myself for worrying so much. I finally decided to go with a flirty, black skirt, a deep red silk tee and heels. It was dressy enough or casual enough to be appropriate wherever we went to dinner.

The doorbell rang, and forgetting my resolve to stay calm, I quickly ran to open the door. He was wearing black slacks and a blue dress shirt that did amazing things to his eyes. He was so damn sexy that I wanted to throw myself at him then and there. I managed to stop myself - barely.

I grabbed my purse and we walked out to the car. He leaned over to open the door, but grasped my arm lightly as I started to get inside. Before I knew what was happening, his free hand cupped my face, and his mouth took mine in a scorching kiss. My gasp allowed his tongue entry, and I eagerly met it with my own. I poured a month of pent-up desire into that kiss. We were barely touching, but the front of my body felt burned from the heat of his. His tongue slid against mine in a seductive dance of give and take that left me asking for more. It was over all too soon, and he slowly pulled away, nipping my bottom lip as he did so. 

"I think I may have melted into the pavement," I said, in a voice husky with arousal.

"I've wanted to do that since I first heard your smart mouth in that parking lot. I decided that I wasn't going to wait any longer, and that I was going to have to taste you when I saw you tonight."

He looked directly into my eyes as he said that, and I felt my pussy flood. I wanted him to go to his knees and taste me "down there", as well. The thought made my temperature rise.

"I can't wait to find out what's causing that blush."

I lowered my eyes as he helped me into his car, but didn't respond. Gabriel closed the door, walked around the front of the car and climbed inside. The interior was quiet for a moment as he fit the key into the ignition.

"It's alright, Clare. You don't have to tell me your thoughts right now. Let's go to dinner and relax. You'll be happy to tell me what I want to know as our evening progresses."

"I don't think I'll ever be able to confess."

Gabriel just smiled.

The conversation was benign during the drive to the restaurant and through dinner. I can't even really remember what we talked about because my mind was so focused on what he meant about our evening progressing. Gabriel carried on his side of the conversation as if we were friends who got together each week for dinner. It seemed as if the sensual heat that had built between us when we kissed no longer existed for him. 

I found out otherwise during the drive home.

The interior of the car was dark; lit only by the muted light of the navigation system. The radio was playing softly in the background. We had just pulled out of the parking lot when Gabriel spoke. 

"Pull your skirt up, and let me see your panties."

I looked over at him, certain that I had misheard. Gabriel kept his eyes on the road.

"I'm waiting."

I heard the order, but couldn't believe that he expected me to do it in the car. 

"Are you trying to be funny? We're out in public."

"I wasn't joking. Pull your skirt up and show me your panties."

The command in his voice was much stronger the second time. I put my hands at the hem of my skirt without thinking, but I still hesitated.

"I don't want to punish you the first time we're together, Clare, but I will if I have to say it a third time."

The tone of his voice was different. The command was still there, but it was harsher, and I didn't want to hear it anymore. I pulled my skirt up to the tops of my thighs.

"Higher."

"Yes, Sir."

I gasped, and my hand shot up to cover my mouth. "I'm sorry. That just slipped out."

We were stopped at a traffic light, and he finally turned to look at me. His features were tight.

"Don't be sorry. You responded correctly. That's how I expect you to address me unless I tell you otherwise."

"Yes, Sir."

He smiled. "Good girl. Now pull that skirt up to your waist, so I can see your panties." He accelerated away from the light as I did so. 

"Good. Now reach down and recline the seat until I tell you to stop."

He had one last instruction for me once I had the seat positioned where he wanted.

"Put both of your hands down the front of your panties, and play with your cunt until I give you permission to come. I expect you to play with your clit and fuck yourself with at least two fingers, but don't you dare come until I tell you to."

I sat up straight and stared at him, willing him to turn, smile and tell me that he was kidding, but he continued to look ahead and calmly drive the car.

"I didn't hear what you said."

"I didn't say any...Oh." I realized what he meant.

He turned and gave me a quick look, and I heard myself saying, "Yes, Sir."

I leaned back into the seat, closed my eyes and took a moment to be thankful that it was dark, before I slid both hands down the front of my panties. My fingers were immediately met with moisture. I used three fingers to circle and rub my clit. It was plump and sensitive, and I knew that it wouldn't take me long to orgasm.

"You're supposed to be using both hands, and I expect to hear your pleasure. You don't expect me to let you come if I can't hear that you're ready, do you?"

"No, Sir."

I increased the pressure and the speed on my clit. The last month had left me aroused and unfulfilled, so I moaned deeply from the quick burst of pleasure. I slid a finger from my free hand shallowly in and out of the opening of my pussy. My need hit me hard. I gave in and pushed two fingers in fast and deep, and groaned as I felt my pussy clench around my fingers. I spread my legs wider to allow deeper access, and increased the thrusts. My juices were flowing profusely, wetting my hand and soaking my panties. I was panting with each thrust, and my hips were pumping, squirming, thrusting. My orgasm was rising up; the feeling centered in my clit, only needing a few more thrusts and a little extra pressure to release the wave over my senses.

I was moaning and helplessly crying out my need to come. Panting and begging repeatedly.

"Please what, Clare?" His voice was so calm.

"Oh, God, please let me come, Sir. It's been so long." My voice was anything but calm.

"How long?"

I paused what I was doing and glanced at him. "A month."

"I didn't tell you to stop. Keep fucking your cunt."

"Yes, Sir, but I'm so close." I went back to my previous rhythm, whimpering as I tried to keep myself from going over the edge.

"I know you are, so you'd better help me finish this conversation, so I can let you have your release."

"Yes, Sir."

"So tell me again, how long?"

"One month, Sir."

"You haven't masturbated at all in the last month?"

"No, Sir."

"Why?"

My breathing was hard and fast, so speech was becoming harder now. 

"It...didn't...seem right. You were so chaste whenever...we were...together. I thought I...should wait"

"Interesting. Do you think that perhaps subconsciously you were waiting to be told to masturbate because you didn't have my permission? That, even then, you needed to obey?"

"Yes, Sir. Maybe."




The Beginning



Author's note: Consider the story below romanticized autobiography-a window into my intimate personal routine and thoughts. It is both arousing and scary to share something this personal so I hope you enjoy. The story is short, and ends abruptly, but I promise it will continue (it did in real life). Your comments are always welcome! -Carol

*****

Most of my friends HATE grooming. Bring up depilation at a girls night out and you will get nothing but a torrent of groans and complaints about nicks, razor rash, painful waxing, terrifying electric depilators or expensive laser treatments. But for me grooming is an autoerotic exercise-an intimate and arousing ritual that I relish and anticipate.

First of all I don't shave my legs and underarms in the shower as I rush to prepare for work. Years ago, I enlarged my bathroom. I knocked out a wall and installed a floor-to-ceiling bay window facing the woods behind my house. The boring white bath/shower (with genuine plastic surround) went into the trash. In its place, a beautiful free-standing claw-foot tub with carved feet and solid brass fixtures now stands framed by the window. When I groom, it is under the stars, reclined luxuriously in hot, lavender-scented water and surrounded by candles and soft jazz.

Nor do I shave my legs mechanically as if performing a much-resented chore. Rather, I lovingly slide the razor along the curves of my calves and thighs, testing the smoothness of each patch of freshly shaved skin with the same intensity as when I caress the super soft skin of a lover's penis. 

Shaving my lips smooth and shaping the dark curls on my mons pubis used to be frustrating because I couldn't see what I was doing. Then I found a large mirror on an adjustable arm that mounts on the side of my claw-foot tub. Now the view is amazing-so amazing that I often masturbate watching myself. Call me the ultimate narcissist but experiencing an orgasm while watching my cunt spasm, and cum drool out of me with each contraction, is breathtaking. The only thing more arousing is giving a young man his first blowjob, hearing his moans and feeling his taut body shudder as his semen spurts into my mouth.

But I digress. Now I can position the mirror to clearly see my lips as the razor slides over them, or my hips and pubic area as I trim and shape my jet black curls.

I sometimes think my body must be ultra-tuned to erotic sensations. Even plucking the occasional errant hairs that sprout from and around my areolae is accompanied by bolts of pleasure that shoot from my breast to within my vaginal cavity. I cherish the sensation so much I will often extend the experience by grasping the hair in the tweezers and pulling slowly instead of plucking, stretching the sensitive skin. The connection to my cunt is powerful and I relish the feeling of my vaginal walls thickening and lubricating as I breathe through the pain.

Sliding a finger in and out of my anus during this rite is excruciatingly pleasurable and I rarely resist.

But this story really begins in my bedroom with me standing nearly naked in front of my full length mirror. Warm from my bath, flushed and aroused from my grooming rituals, I was admiring the black rectangular patch of trimmed pubic hair through my sheer yellow panties and imagining the affect the site would have on a hormone driven college kid.

I remember wondering what my admirers actually saw. Feeling wicked I grabbed a very short floral print mini dress from my closet and slipped it over my head. I placed a chair about 6 feet from the mirror. When I sat down I was delighted that the dark patch of pubic hair was clearly visible below the hem of my dress. I spread my legs feeling my outer lips slowly pull apart. I looked up expecting to see the delicious view I had just seen in my bath mirror but my open cunt was obscured by the cotton panel of the panties. Disappointed, I sat slumped in the chair ,thinking. Then an idea struck. I grabbed the seam ripper from my sewing kit, stripped the panties off, and carefully removed the panel. The panties were now totally sheer. I slipped them back on and sat down. 

My heart was pounding, my eyes riveted on the reflection of my own crotch. Slowly I opened my legs. My slit appeared, outer lips swollen, puffy, creating a subtle double mound in the crotch of my panties. As my knees drew further apart a splash of deep pink appeared. I leaned back, my ass sliding forward. As my knees separated further, my inner lips peeled apart and liquid slid slowly out of me creating a wet spot on my panties. I was so hot my hands trembled as I slid a pair of high-heeled sandals onto my feet. I grabbed my purse and headed to Starbucks.



The Beginning



The following is the second installment describing Alexis Ermolov's transition from University Professor to President and CEO of a bio-nano-technological company. There are some obstacles but she overcomes them. Readers are advised to begin with Alexis' Change that sets the scene and introduces the main characters. 

***** 

The early spring sun was doing its magic. Snow that was clinging to the ground began to melt thus enabling green shoots to poke their heads above a thinning white ground cover. Buds appeared on branches that until this time were bare. After a long winter sleep all manner of biological life was eager to begin anew. Looking outside she could see birds and squirrels searching for food as winter was finally enabling edible plants to attract customers. All manner of life was shaking off the doldrums of winter. Alexis was no different as she felt reborn in the spring. Her aversion to clothes was put aside during the winter but now she could wander in the yard naked. She thought now she could feel warm sun on exposed skin something she longed for so many months.. 

Spring always brought memories of the battles with her mother regarding wearing clothes. Finally her father provided a solution. She could be naked in the house. As well, to the surprise of everyone, he did not force her to dress when they had company. The downsize was that her brothers' friends came over just to see a naked girl. In time as she became older her father allowed her to roam naked in the backyard. Occasionally, she cautiously moved into the front yard just to see how the rest of the neighbourhood reacted. During this period Alexis and her mother became good friends. If there was a problem, her father was expected to handle it 

As she matured Alexis developed into an attractive catch for males. Thick long black hair framed an oval face. Green irises flecked with gold made her more desirable. The rest of package only added to her allure, her bosom was ample neither too big or too small plus a small waist that showcased heart shaped hips. Many men and boys offered to date her. However, she did not date that much during high school because unlike most girls she did not hide her brilliance and had no use for males who could not keep up to her academically. 

Their second anniversary was approaching. The boys had moved in when Eric went to Brazil. At the time scientific endeavours, including bio-nanotechnology, excluded other social interests. It had taken some time but now she was part of their interests. On the other hand, she realized that while nudity did attract some attention if she wanted to keep this long term relationship exciting the package had to be altered once in awhile. Sometimes she dressed very conservative when taken out by the one of them. Other times she was exotic. The boys never knew what Alexis they were going to get but appreciated the end product during the date. 

Now was the time to try out her slashkini. Many hours were spent in discussion with the designer before the finished product was ready. 

It was chilly when she exited the house. She felt free. The material pulled and created shadows as well exposing various areas of her body. The cold did not bother her as she began to feel aroused. The beauty of the material was that it kept her in a state of arousal without causing a climax. Unfortunately, she could not see how sensual different patterns of shadows and light affected her audience. If she was correct, the boys would not be able to contain themselves. They might not even wait for the table before having sex. Erotic thoughts warmed her up. 

The sound of a vehicle turning into the driveway shocked her. It was too early for the boys to come home plus they never had visitors during the week. Dark thoughts flashed. The boys were in trouble. She hurried towards the front of the house. Why didn't they call, she railed? A quick glance determined her cell phone was on. Typical men, they wouldn't warn her so she could prepare but instead would present her with the problem and expect her to solve it. Sometimes she felt like their mother instead of their mistress. She could tell that the car stopped. 

Both the two men in the driveway and Alexis were surprised to see each other. At this time of the year, they did not expect to see a woman in a bikini. Especially one that cast shadows all over her body presenting an exotic image by hiding then exposing skin. Alexis wondered what reason they had for being here. 

A closer look determined that one man was short and the other was taller. Their clothes looked expensive. In her opinion they were not academics. If they were business types how had they found them? Unbemerkt searched for contracts and took care of billing. It was a good system because Alexis and the boys could experiment without having to worry whether a new idea was viable. The shorter man's face turned bright red. He began to gulp air. She wondered if he was having a heart attack. The taller man was recovering. 

"Can I help you?" 

"We're from Omnibus Inc," said the taller man. "We would like to see Alexis Ermolov." 

"I'm Alexis Ermolov." 

"Our president would like to arrange a meeting with you." 

"Why?" 

Both men laughed. By this time she could see the chubby man was recovering. His skin colour was almost normal and his breathing began to slow. 

"I'm sorry for laughing but nobody tells lowlifes like us why," said the taller man. "Here's Mr. Dragon's card. He will explain everything when you call." 

She placed the card on her cell phone. By the time she entered the house her computer would have recovered all the available data pertinent to Omnibus Inc. and Marc Dragon. Enhancing the abilities of the computer had been a team affair. Eric had laid the groundwork. She had provided the computer architecture but it had been the boys who made the computer powerful. With their help, the computer was able to think and in her opinion reason. In fact, it was the computer that developed new designs. One of the benefits was it could hack into other computer systems without being detected. Using these benefits they could keep other hackers out of their system plus destroy the offending computer. 

However, there were times when she wondered if it was beginning to develop the concept of love. Lately when she was on the table it aroused her by other means than the methods employed by the boys and Eric. She wondered if it was morphing into a different form of artificial intelligence. 

The two men were backing up to their vehicle. It amused her to think they were doing this to keep her in focus. She tried different poses. They fumbled attempting to open the doors. After some time they started the vehicle and backed out of the driveway at the same time looking fixedly at her. Eventually they turned onto the street and drove away. She was relieved there was no traffic because she did not want to explain how she caused an accident. 

Without the men, she began to feel cold. Almost as if the computer sensed she wanted to enter the house speedily, it bypassed the keypad and opened the door without making her prove she lived there. 

"Guys! Come and take a look at Alexis!" 

She was surprised. 

The boys rushed in surrounding her like she was a rabbit and they were wolves. They circled her coming closer as she stood unmoving in their midst. Mr. Dragon will have to wait she thought. 

They pounced. 

She pushed the quick release and watched as the slashkini sprung from its confines. They paused for a moment before pulling her towards them. Times have changed she marvelled. There was a time they would have halted but not now. An eye shade was positioned. It startled her because it was something new. She was being poked, pinched and lowered to the floor. Her legs were spread and a heavy body landed on her. Unseen hands seized her arms and legs. She was entered leading to a minor climax. 

Her feet were being tickled causing her to push up to meet the downward strokes. Different spasms attacked both his penis and legs. He became aroused. His manhood filled her channel then started to pulse. Both of them attempted to crush each other. Her orgasm was massive lifting them off the floor. A sudden chill occurred briefly before another body drove her to the floor. He rolled off of her. She was upset because he came too soon. They lifted her off the floor using her legs then began to spank her. Another surprise awaited her, despite the pain she was aroused which led to an orgasm. Her men continually discovered quirks she was not aware of. Eric found she liked to be restrained during sex and the boys observed rough sex made her more passionate. What other deviant form of sex would her lovers discover? 

It seemed they were finished with her. Jamie had anal sex. Of all them he liked to practice anal sex. The others had anal sex occasionally but every time he had a chance this was his preferred method of sex. Even now she didn't understand why she enjoyed and looked forward to these orgies The rest was enabling her to recover however, she hoped there was more to come. Then she felt different sensations. Some effects were caused by equipment moving up her body. Realization dawned as she determined that the little devils had modified nanbots to produce the means of giving orgasms. Eventually they'll kill her she thought but she would die happy. She relaxed and revelled in the passionate embrace of the nanbots. 

The eye shades were removed. She looked up to Geoff. He smiled before carrying her to their bed. She kissed him rolled over and fell into a deep sleep. 

She winced as the hem of her dress dug into her thigh. There wasn't a millimeter of her body that wasn't sore. Her only saving grace was that the boys were not too happy with the nanbots. They had spent the last two days trying to correct some glitch. She didn't know why because the nanbots seemed to work fine when bringing her to a climax. However, the respite enabled her to collect and analyse the data generated by the computer. 

Omnibus Inc. was a venture capital company with tentacles throughout the world. What made Omnibus different from other similar companies was it kept their most successful acquisitions. Purchases that it was unable to improve to a set standard it sold. 

Marc Dragon was a combination of senior legal advisor and CEO. A puzzling factor was the lack of data describing his early life or how he became employed by Omnibus. This intrigued her because she wondered why his family history and previous life was hidden. Deep data mining produced nothing. 

As a veteran of many high-level meetings, she was familiar with security. Meetings in the highly completive nanotech industry were always accompanied with stringent precautions to discourage espionage. However, Omnibus carried safeguarding the location and discussions to an extreme. She was not allowed to bring any wireless devices plus a car would be sent to take her to a secret location. These conditions did not bother her because it seemed that whatever the project, the boys would be interested. Omnibus sent images of the car and the driver. Then she informed Unbemerkt that she was meeting a potential new client. 

As instructed she sat in the front seat beside the driver. The car was non-descript therefore they would look like a couple out for a drive. Although she wondered why Omnibus was so preoccupied with security. 

Their journey took them to a part of the city she didn't know existed. Rubbish covered the road and yards. Ancient mattresses decorated porches of homes that needed repair. Even the occasional person shuffled rather than walk with a purpose. They turned into an alley between two derelict houses. She could see a house at the end of the alley that was out of place compared to the rest of the houses surrounding it. A man was standing in the open front door. 

"Marc Dragon," said the man as he opened the car door. "I'll explain why we met here rather than our offices once we get inside." 

She guessed he was about six foot four and weighed over two hundred pounds. When he took her arm she marvelled at the strength and confidence he demonstrated. It had been a good idea to wear a curve hugging dress that showcased her charms. Over the years she had learned that good packaging initiated the original interest but there was always a need for a viable product. 

As they entered the house, she realized that her original impression was correct. Although it looked run down to fit in with the rest of the neighbourhood, this was deceptive. 

A heavy set, bald headed man looked like he was watching TV. His undershirt was filthy and stained pants completed the picture. Even his chair looked as though he got it from one of the empty houses. Almost the same time a slatternly woman with stringy mousey coloured hair stepped out from what looked like the kitchen. Dragon ignored both of them. Alexis was becoming slightly apprehensive because so far everything give the impression of being in the middle of a B-movie set. From her vantage point she determined the ancient TV was a monitor and the man's eyes were clear and alert. 

They entered a closet in a room at the back of the house. Alexis was becoming worried. She had never experienced this type of security when attending any high level meetings. On the other hand, her research had suggested that Omnibus was just a venture capital company not involved in any other kinky pursuits. She decided to relax because if there were any problems the computer would have warned her. 

The door opened and she found that they were in a large boardroom. Like all boardrooms the middle was taken up with table flanked by very expensive chairs. Every information of benefit to Omnibus was displayed on a series of monitors that decorated the wall. As they ventured further into the room she observed that a person in a bed surrounded by medical equipment was situated opposite the wall of monitors. The silence was deafening. 

"Alexis, this is Fatima Narek," began Dragon. "She owns Omnibus." 

"Now I am confused, why would you come to us? We are not financial but more technical plus we aren't interested in selling," said Alexis. 

The woman attempted to laugh but the sound was more a crackle. 

Dragon smiled. "Fatima was poisoned. We don't know how or what was used. Doctors were able to slow the effects but they couldn't find a source. Eventually one of the doctors suggested we find a bio-nano-technological company. That's where you come in." 

At this moment Alexis understood why security was so tight. 

"I can think of a few reasons why we might not be able to help you. Number one: we have never tried experimenting on a human. Therefore we might kill you, Fatima. Number two: all our contracts are vetted by Unbemerkt. If they say no we wouldn't attempt this project, although it sounds interesting. Number three: we have been in negotiations with both companies that manufacture the equipment we need and have been refused because we want their source code. Number four: Fatima would have to move to our lab. These are the major reasons why we may not be the right people." 

Fatima surprised Alexis. "Let me answer your objections in the order that you gave them. The poison is moving therefore, if we don't find a cure I'll die. Marc will deal with Unbemerkt. He has never failed to get a contract. Omnibus owns both companies that you were dealing with. Once the contract is signed they will more than happy to assist you. Will the university allow the necessary renovations to accommodate me?" She collapsed. 

"We own our lab. The university built around us but we refused to sell our building. If Mr. Dragon can eliminate my other objections, we could begin immediately," said Alexis. 

The following month was a series of twenty-four days. Eric and some technicians flew in from Germany. All activities not necessary to upgrade the lab were put on the backburner. They, thanks to Dragon's efforts convincing manufactures to supply state of the art equipment, were able not only move the computer to the lab but to increase its capabilities. Occasionally Alexis missed the orgies but most of her free time was devoted ensuring Eric and the boys ate and slept. 

Omnibus moved their security into the house she had shared with Eric. Alexis and the boys were asked to move into the lab for security reasons. As well, the lab had been enlarged by adding living quarters to accommodate them and medical staff for Fatima. Alexis wondered how Dragon persuaded the university to put Omnibus security on the university police and not to challenge the firms that were using university accesses to the lab. 

Fatima's condition continued to deteriorate. A meeting was called to determine if there was any way to halt this process. 

"We think we have found a method to stop the spread of the poison," said Alexis."Unfortunately, it's risky. To be clear this procedure may hasten her death but if it succeeds her life will be extended. We need time to find out what the poison is." 

"Are you sure there is no other way?" said Dragon. His voice was hoarse and quivery. 

"It looks like your doctor was correct. Her illness might be caused by some form of nano-technology but we can't go in without a good idea what it is," said Geoff. Alexis was surprised usually she was the one who gave out the bad news. 

"Do it," said Dragon. "I'll get my people to find out what companies are capable of producing this type of poison." 

"Mr. Dragon! Please hold off until we are able to at least determine what type of technology they are using," exclaimed Alexis. " They might feel threatened and maybe increase or change the dosage." 

He paused, nodded agreement then left the room. 

Now that the army of technicians had left, Alexis felt comfortable just wearing a lab coat around the lab. She wasn't sure if nudity would affect Dragon but thought being naked underneath the coat would meet his definition of modesty. The floor was cool on her shoeless feet as she made her way to visit Fatima. The two women enjoyed their daily meetings and Fatima always dismissed her nurses when Alexis arrived. 

"Alexis, would you do me a favour?" Speaking was difficult but will power enabled Fatima to attempt conversation. 

"Of course," replied Alexis. 

"Remove your coat," gasped Fatima as she fell back into her pillows. 

Alexis complied but was puzzled by the request. 

"We could be twins," a weaken Fatima began. "Before the poison, I looked like you. The only difference, I'm a brunette. As I remember, I had boobs that attracted men, especially Marc. He couldn't keep his hands off them no matter where we were . My nipples were large. I don't know if this was a result of the years of his special attention or just the way my body functioned. Most times I was naked under some type of coat so he could stroke me from my boobs past my waist, between my legs and create an orgasm. He was so happy. I was pleased that I could give him this pleasure. Looking at you I know my imagination did not make my assets more than they should be. I can die happy." 

"We are going to try a new procedure that if it doesn't kill you will prolong your life. Eventually we will find a cure but you can't give up," said Alexis but she was speaking to herself as Fatima had fallen asleep.



The Beginning According To Dahngar



You think you know everything about creation? You think they've all been telling you the truth? Boy, have you been under a fucking rock.

It goes like this...

The bastard upstairs said, "Let there be light?". And all of his discophiles glanced upon him and scowled, because it was a fucking stupid question. Mr. Happy Without Genitals thought this over for a few minutes, and then said, "Oh, yes, let there be light." And all of his discophiles again cursed and did look to the sky, for there should be much more flame and fire in that statement. Seemed that Asshole in the Sky wasn't feeling up to proclamations that day. He thought it over again, and then said, "Let there be Light!"

And this is why God is a moron.

People are burning in places because of his Light. There are hundreds of people put in hospitals in one year with third degree burns because of his Light. People burn out their fucking corneas looking at his Light. His Light might turn against him to the Dark one day, and the Earth might be sucked into an all mighty black hole. Therein lies the irony of our fight. All we've got to do is push certain aspects of his cursed Light in the right direction, and it can immediately become very, very Dark.

And lo, upon the great Light that he had created The Boss of All Things Fucking Stupid sat his fat ass, and said, "Let there be rocks...and trees, and birds, and stuff that looks kinda like them, but not quite." And Lo!, down on the pathetic Earth below there were the beasties, including the serpent, which later reverted to the Dark with a little bit of teasing with a dead mouse. I think the mouse was named Mickey, incidentally. And then the Father of All Useless Shit said, "Let there be Man!", and there appeared a Man. The Dark had a hand in this, though, because Man was quite well hung. We're talkin' ten or twelve inches. Or so I've heard.

So Man puttered about, deciding to call himself Adam, which is a shame. Two words, people: Adam Ant. The singer was a laughing stock to his profession. Adam puttered around, though, naming crap and generally being a dork. Unfortunately, masturbation wasn't a household name yet. Nor were a slew of other goodies that come in later in the story.

Man got lonely, though. The dumb dickhead. So he looked up to his greatness in the sky and said, "Yo, dude. This fuckin' sucks. I need a chick."

The Master of the Bald Pigeons looked down upon Adam and said, "Let there be Woman!... But here, lemme rip one of your ribs out first. Can't make something from nothing, you know." Which was a load of BS. The creator of Light, and he needs to use a part of one of his creations to make another. Whatta load of crap.

And so Eve was created. And Adam was happy. And they frolicked and jaunted and petted bunnies. You know this isn't going to last long, don't you?

As a matter of fact, my favorite part is coming up.

Eve, who was pretty hot (but poor Adam didn't see it), jaunted one day into a really pretty garden. And she sat beneath a tree. In the tree was a snake. Well, a serpent, if you read some of the books about it. Whatever it was, it didn't have any legs, and it was a living metaphor for ... use your imagination. Eve did look upon the animal with no legs and giggle. The serpent, whom we will call Jeffrey, looked at Eve and flicked his tongue out.

Really, that was all it took. Imagine being subliminally repressed for eons, not even knowing you had the ability to procreate. And you can read about it all you want, there wasn't any words spoken. One flick of that tongue, and Eve was a whole new gal.

Eve rushed off to tell... show Adam all of the new stuff she had suddenly thought of. Adam was a complete dud, though, because he suggested that they should just continue to frolic and bounce like pathetic little peons and forget all about sticking his happy part into hers. Eve, fortunately, was quite convincing. There really should be a nice book written about that and sent into Playboy, but unfortunately I don't have a way with words.

So they fucked like minks.

He of Absent Balls looked down upon his creations in the middle of one of their rolls in the hay, and scowled. Actually, few people know his true reasoning around the things he did to poor Adam and Eve. Y'see, he was quite jealous about the fact that -they- could fuck, and -He- couldn't. And jealousy turned into anger, and he said unto them, "What the Hell are you doing?". Jeffery, who was still curled around the branch of a tree, snickered because the Big Pie In the Sky had just uttered the word 'Hell'. I think it's the first time the word was actually used.

Eve looked up to the sky and said, "Just what that dude over there told me to, sir." And then she did point to poor Jeffery, who tried rather unsuccessfully to hide in the leaves of the tree. Nice fellow, Jeffery. Seen him quite a few times back home.

After He took care of Jeffery, He looked down upon Adam and Eve and said, "Lo, let Eve have bloating, mood swings, and bleeding once every 28 to 30 days. And let Adam have facial hair and spontaneous erections!" And thunder did crash and lightening did flash, because He was getting better at this shit.

And, through it all, the Dark played a part. It's always played a part. Now, though, it's easier. We've got the stuff, children. All we need is some lube and a little leather.

((First submission ... expect more. Feedback appreciated. ;) )) 



The Beginning and the End



It's a strange world I walk in, strange of my own choosing, I know. So many times it seems to come full circle, only to start back at the beginning again anew. I've never been what society would consider "normal." My first memory is of the age of two, stabbing myself with a pencil just to see what would happen. I find it curious how our earliest memories help us define who we become. We are nothing but the sum of our memories, after all, they are what link us to our past. 

When I was 9 I cut myself with a piece of glass. The first time was by accident. I was entranced with the pain, and the blood welling up out of my finger tip. The other 8 times were deliberate. My mother freaked out, and told me that masochists go to hell, did I want to go to hell? I didn't know what a masochist was, but I knew my mother was deadly serious, and I knew better than to argue when she was in one of those moods.

My dad was a bigwig in our local church. I think that might have intimidated a lot of the guys I went to high school with, since the only dates I ever went on were ones I instigated. That was quite annoying. I ended up hanging out more with my best friend than anyone else, which worked for me, because I was half in love with her as it was. She popped my cherry when I was 17, but that's another story for another day.

The point of today's story is pain, humiliation, and submission, and while that story truly started when I was 2, the background is far less interesting than the details, so I'm going to fast-forward to 18. I was a freshman in college, and doing my damnedest to experience all there was to experience. I was in the business of corrupting myself, and business was booming.

I was 18. He was 22. He was a grad student, teacher's aid for my Stagecraft class, in which I was the only female. I felt somewhat out of place, but it was a required class for my degree, so I stuck with it. Naturally, being the teacher's aid, he was ever so helpful, when it came to the cute, token female in the class. I flirted back, and scored a date the first day of class. (yeah, ok, I'm easy, get over it). Well, to make a long story short, he and I became frequent fuck buddies, no strings attached. I think he was quite refreshed to find a girl not interested in a relationship, and one who was gung ho and quite willing to do just about anything he wanted. I do try to keep an open mind, after all. His roommate was quite a lot of fun as well, but I digress.

He was probably the first man I'd screwed who truly took charge in bed. It was an amazing turn-on. He was always wanting to play little games, and if I violated the rules, he'd stop, and it would be over. Usually it involved me holding very still while he did various things to me, often blindfolded but not always. God, I wanted that man in the worst way, I wanted him to do all those things I'd read about in all those S&M books I'd read, things I'd never done before, and was too timid to outwardly pursue for fear of rejection, and I couldn't figure out why he wasn't taking things further, but I was also not about to sacrifice all dignity by throwing myself at him and begging, I was far too stubborn for that. I just couldn't figure out what his game was, and he fascinated me.

Things progressed slowly. We eventually graduated into light bondage accompanied by rough sex. There was nothing I had experienced better than being gagged and bound and fucked like an animal. But it wasn't enough, and still left me wanting more. I knew what I wanted, and it required pain, my pain. In the end, I did sacrifice all dignity by throwing myself at him and begging, essentially. It all came to head one cold winter night, a night I've relived in my head countless times since, I shall never forget it. We were up in the catwalks of the theatre at the university, like we often were, late at night. He had keys, and no one was around late at night.

He had me tied up on the floor of the catwalks, spread eagle, bound by cords to the railings, stark naked, the cold metal beneath my back, and he was looming over me. I looked into his eyes. He straddled me with his legs, and kissed my lips softly.

I held still, feeling slightly awkward, as I had nothing to do. He nuzzled his way across my neck from one ear to the next. Goosebumps raced across my skin. I shivered. "Hmm," he said, his breath tickling my neck, "You must like that. Otherwise you'd be holding still." He pinched my nipple hard to punctuate. I yelped and jerked. Oh god, my nipple was on fire, and so was my pussy, as if there was some intangible line tethered between the two, connecting them. It hurt so bad, it felt so good, my head was reeling. "Shh," he told me. "If you can't follow the rules, then we won't play." He ran his finger in lazy circles around the nipple he had pinched so liberally a moment before. 

I whimpered. "You're making it impossible!" I hissed between clenched teeth, trying hard not to squirm.

He chuckled. "I know." He bent his head down, and chewed on my other nipple, just the way he'd learned I liked, and moved his other hand lower, pinching my clitoris. The sensation sent an involuntary spasm throughout my torso.

"Oh god, " I cried out, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

He laughed wickedly. "Do I need to stop?" His fingers dragged down outside of my thigh, and slowly up the inside, stopping just short of my pussy.

"Oh, no, no," I gasped, "Please..." I trailed off. Thinking was becoming rather difficult.

"Please what?" he prompted, nibbling on my other nipple. He reached underneath me to squeeze my ass with one hand.

"Please do something," I groaned, not entirely certain I knew what I wanted.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked. He moved down my body slowly, and kissed my stomach. One hand massaged my thigh, while the other massaged my ass. I shuddered again. There was no holding still anymore, I couldn't help myself.

"Oh god, spank me, please, flip me over and hurt me, and fuck me, and make me suffer!" I think I stunned him a bit with that. Was that what I really wanted? I wasn't even sure, but it was too late to take it back now. He paused. I squirmed and whimpered. He only paused for a moment though, and I have to give him kudos for only missing a beat before stepping back into rhythm, and he did it so well too. 

He slapped my face. Not hard, just enough to stun me. My jaw dropped. "Bitch, I told you to hold fucking still, didn't I? You just can't stop squirming, can you? You have no self-control whatsoever, do you?"

He quickly untied my limbs. I thought for a moment I'd made a grievous mistake, and blinked back tears, hoping to god I could just take back those words I'd spoken. I sat up, looking at him, struggling successfully to maintain my composure, confused. He grabbed me by the hair, and yanked my head forward, pulling, until I was on my knees, my head close enough to kiss the metal grating. My scalp burned, my cheek tingled from where he had slapped me, panic fluttered in my breast, my stomach did flip flops, and I had never felt more alive in my life.

Kneeling right there, limbs unfettered, naked on the catwalks, he spanked me, barehanded. He took my breath away with the first blow. I arched my back.

"Get down, bitch, did I tell you that you could move?" He kept smacking my bare ass the whole time. I got back on all fours.

"I'm sorry," I gasped. My ass was hot, my pussy was wet, my head was reeling, and the spanks kept coming. I struggled so hard not to move, but I'm sure, in retrospect, that the pain had my ass dancing quite a bit that night. The pain grew sharper and sharper, my ass grew hotter and hotter, my breath grew more ragged. I'm sure I cried out at least once or twice before he stopped.

He pulled off his belt and began to whip me with it. Stripes of fire coursed across my flesh, consuming me.

Unfettered, unbound, the choice was mine, to stand up and leave and end the suffering, or to stay there and let him keep hurting me. There really was no choice, when it came down to it. I stayed. I stayed because he told me to, I stayed because I wanted to.

As he slipped his belt around my neck like a leash to choke me and hold me while he brutally fucked my ass and scratched my back raw, I cried out, and tears ran unbidden, unchecked down my face. Coherent thought was fleeting that cold, dark night 14 years ago, but the one solid thought that kept repeating through my brain was this: I was home.

I think we were both equally astonished by how we both felt after all was said and done. I knew I had found what I had been missing. I knew my mother had been wrong all those years ago. He had seen a side of himself I'm not quite sure he liked, and he never did fully accept. Our sex life never again matched that night, but I would find other partners as time went by to explore new heights and depths with, so I didn't resent him for it.

I have had a lot of sexual partners over the years, male and female alike, some names have been forgotten, some faces have faded into memory, but Leif's name and face will never be forgotten. 

Years have passed, I've been to hell and back again, I've known the highest highs and the lowest lows, I'm not the girl I was back then, but life has a funny way of coming full circle sometimes.

I traveled half-way across the continent just to feel home again. Moments like that had become so rare and precious, it was worth the long trip. Maybe it was because I've gotten picky over the years, or refined my tastes to odd extremes, but it takes a certain kind of chemistry to inspire my submission, and few men have that, and I've yet to meet a woman who has. I know someone who does, so I'll gladly visit him when I can.

I arrived Saturday afternoon, and left the following Wednesday afternoon. By Tuesday afternoon I was sporting a slough of colorful bruises and I was criss-crossed with welts from my shoulders to my knees, front and back. We both laughed over my swollen "J-lo" ass. He found great humor in my discomfort – typical sadist. I found great humor in my discomfort – typical masochist. No wonder we get along. I just loved the glorious smirk that sprouted on his face every time I gingerly sat down and grimaced in pain. Oh, I love that feeling, its an endless source of pleasure and amusement, until the pain inevitably fades a few days later.

We went to the toy store to buy a new single tail Tuesday afternoon, he couldn't find his. I admit, the prospect scared me, and made me nervous, and oh so turned on. Just watching him watch me as he cracked the whip in the store made my heart pound and my stomach do flip-flops. My pussy throbbed.

He took his sweet time, too, letting me stew on the thought. We leisurely strolled back to his house, stopping at a couple other stores along the way, chatting and generally enjoying each other's company. Once we got back to his place, we lounged in the bedroom and watched a little television. I scratched his back and helped him relax. We had a late night the night before, and he wanted to rest a bit before playing.

I was a little torn between bringing up the subject of the new whip, or letting it drag out even longer. On one hand, I knew he wasn't going to forget about it and wouldn't use it on me until he was damn good and ready, no matter what I said about it. On the other hand, I was thinking about how much I knew it was going to hurt, and didn't really mind letting it wait a bit longer. I was both anxiously anticipating it and dreading it, and the combination guaranteed that it was going to stay on my mind and that I would stay turned on. So, I contented myself with leisurely scratching his back. I love little things like that, sometimes its so simple to please someone, and I do love to make people smile.

The moment I had been anxiously awaiting/dreading finally arrived. Burke sat up, and looked at me, a sadistic gleam in his eye. "Alright, I'm hungry. First I'm going to beat you, then we're going to go eat." My heart skipped a beat, my stomach jumped. Oh, sweet music to my ears. No matter how many times I've heard similar things, the effect is always the same.

"Yes, Sir!" I exclaimed. If nothing else, I try to match my fear with enthusiasm. He had me undress and lay face down on the bed, no restraints.

"Have you ever played with a single tail?" he asked, probably hoping the answer would be no, he loved doing firsts, and firsts with me are rare.

"Only once, and that was three years ago," I answered honestly. I closed my eyes, forced myself to relax, taking even breaths, anticipating the first sting. As the whip cracked on my already tender flesh, and bit into my skin, my ass was on fire. He took my breath away, he has an uncanny ability to do that. I gasped, and clenched tightly at the sheets. The whip cracked again, and the white-hot fire spread. Over and over he lashed out.

Oh, the glorious, terrible agony! Single tails are by far the most elegant, exquisite pain I have ever experienced. I tried counting to keep me focused as I laid there trying not to writhe. I lost count at forty, when he had me flip over. The soft sheets made my freshly whipped backside burn with fire anew. The fire spread to my front now, as the whip cracked everywhere; thighs, stomach, chest, nothing was spared. At one point I cried out, trying to block it with my arms.

"Move your arms, bitch," he growled, as the whip snapped across my bicep. I yelped, and moved them. He directed me into the living room, ordering me on my knees by the ottoman."

"Yes, sir," I said. He grabbed my hair and shoved his cock in my mouth. I sucked deep and hard, grateful for the respite from the beautiful, terrible agony of his whip. It didn't last long, he wanted to break his new toy in more. He had me turn around and lean over the ottoman. How many lashes were we up to? Sixty? Ninety? One-hundred fifty? I had no idea anymore, they all blended into each other, and I didn't even try to count further.

So there I knelt, unfettered, unbound, staying of my own volition. The choice was mine, to stand up and leave and end the suffering, or to stay there and let him keep hurting me. There really was no choice, when it came down to it. I stayed.

I find great comfort in bondage. The inescapable provides security, and takes the choice out of my hands, and allows me the luxury of laying the blame elsewhere. Its not my fault, if I can't escape. I'm in pain, and it's the ties binding me keeping me in pain. I can struggle against them to distract me, or let go and let the bondage cradle and hold me. There is an interesting and very humiliating thing about playing without bondage, because then I have no one to blame but myself. He was hurting me, and I could have stopped him simply by walking away, but I didn't, I surrendered, because I wanted him to hurt me, and I let him do it, blow by blow, driving home that point.

As he drove that point home, humbling me with my own volition and surrender, I felt home. He continued painting raw stripes on my backside, as I writhed with the sheer fiery agony of it all, trying so hard to take all he had to give.

Coherent thought was fleeting, that lovely November afternoon, but the thoughts that raced through my head brought tears to my eyes, and combined with the intensity of the moment, I broke, and I cried. I cried because I felt whole again. I cried because its not fair that I have to go to such extreme lengths just to feel complete. Mostly, I cried because I was leaving the next day and knew it would be months before I felt this whole again. 

The pain stopped while I regained control of my emotions. I was grateful for that.

Once I'd regained my composure, the game went on. "Now we're going to play 'guess what toy I'm hitting you with!" He announced. I laughed. I couldn't help it. The comic relief was well-timed. He went through his entire arsenal, toy by toy, taking my breath away, as I tried to identify each by the touch of pain alone. Having felt nearly all of them at great length, I nailed most of them pretty quickly, a few even before he had a chance to swing a second time. He was pleased that I guessed them all so quickly, but I think he was a bit disappointed that he didn't get to whack me more with them because of it. There was one cane that stumped me, because he had never used it on me before. I had to peek to get the answer. He caught me, of course, and gave me 100 whacks with it for peeking.

Once we made it through all his toys, including the exquisite fire of the single tail and a baker's dozen strikes with his favorite evil rubber whip (oh, what lovely welts that evil toy leaves), I got to suck his cock again. I love doing that. I was on my knees, my flesh on fire, front, back, and sides, with a wonderful man's cock shoved down my throat, and I haven't felt that alive in ages.

He laid me on my back across the ottoman and fucked me. Oh, my poor raw back and ass, with ever thrust the ottoman shifted beneath me, and the leather upholstery rubbed against my welts. The pleasure of his cock deep inside me, combined with the pain of fresh wounds, was almost too much.

Afterwards he allowed me to take a slow, hot shower to wash off the blood and sweat. Terry cloth towels are a torture all unto themselves. 

We went out to dinner, and then played some more, before finally crawling into bed, exhausted. I fell asleep curled up against his shoulder, feeling more peaceful than I had in a very long time. I woke up quite a few times that night because it was hard to stay comfortable long, but each time the pain woke me up, it brought a smile to my face.

My plane the next day came too soon. I was so glad I had come, I felt balanced again, but I was so sad to be leaving because I knew it was a fleeting feeling. I also knew I'd find it again, even if I had to wait a few months until I saw him next.

From the first spank to the last, twice I've cried, the circle has cycled. It will again, I know, that gives me comfort and strength. My needs are strange, I know. Sometimes I wish I could be happy with less, but I wouldn't change me. Suffering and surrender makes me whole. Is it fear, or trust that leads me, and does it even matter? It is about trusting someone enough to surrender to them and letting them push me through the fear by suffering. 

Everything else is just gravy.



The Beginning and the End



This is less of a story, and more of a remembrance of something past. If you are going to pan it, do so for writing style and not content. This one is more for me than the audience. Thank you.

I remember the first time we made love. We had discussed it, and mulled over if we were ready, and when we finally looked at each other and saw the spark in the other's eyes, we knew it was time. Buying condoms was an interesting little task, since we were both a bit shy, but we knew it was worth it. We barely spoke the whole way back to your apartment... we were nervous, but excited. We got upstairs, washed up a little bit. I was nearly shaking. You knew why. I'd had sex one time before, and it had turned out to be a complete disaster on all possible levels. I was so scared of repeating, but I knew that even if that mess happened again, it was you this time. We would be fine.

We must have clocked a record low on foreplay time. So eager, we were. We had been having oral sex for months, so we knew each other's bodies. Only the one thing remained for us to do. After only a few minutes of kissing, fondling, and licking each other, we were ready.

I unrolled the first condom wrong. I did that because I was looking at your waiting body, with your deep brown skin soaking up the lamplight, and your nipples at attention. They looked like chocolate candies. Your pussy, wet and exposed to me, so perfect.

Finally I got a condom on correctly. I laid on top of you, made sure you were ready, and then kissed you. Joined at the lips, I slid my cock into your slick slit, feeling almost no resistance at all, so soaked you were. Your moan was lost in my mouth, but when we started moving, more came. It was such bliss. Thinking of it brings tears to my eyes. The look on your face was pure and unabashed passion. Love was in your eyes, and lust on your mouth. After a few minutes of slowly thrusting into you, you pulled my ear to your mouth and whispered the most amazing thing.

"I want you to fuck me...as hard... and as fast... as you can."

I did. I pounded away at you for about 15 seconds, because you were too beautiful, and too lovely, and too tight, and I growled my impending orgasm, and pulled out to shoot my load of cum all over you, as you like. 

Once I was done, we laid together, holding each other reverently. I had never been so happy. We made love again later, and this time, you came, having had the experience once already and knowing what to expect.

After that first night, we tried many things. There was the night we tried a blowjob with a flavored condom (which you insisted tasted ok, but never complained when we never did it again), sex on a chair with you facing away from me (and watching my hard shaft disappear into your tunnel made me cum harder than anything else ever had), and my personal favorite, a 45 minute marathon, during which I never even took a break, and my cock never wavered. Incredible what you did to me.

That night felt like it was never going to end, and we never wanted it to. You wanted to show off what you'd learned for the modeling show at your school, and I had you stalk a fake runway for me. Later, when it was time for you to suck my cock, I had you do it in front of the bed, on all fours, no hands, which made me harder than diamonds, and in between eating your pussy and getting your tongue on my dick now and again, I slammed my rod into you from something like 8 different positions. Hell, I still remember the order!

We started with simple missionary, which was a nice little warmup, then I had you get on top, and when you got tired from riding me, I just grabbed your ass and reamed you from below until you came. Then you turned around, and apparently that was easier to do, because reverse cowgirl lasted a solid 7 minutes without my help. Your smooth, dark chocolate ass coming down and helping your little pink hole to hide me throbbing cock was one of my best sexual memories. After that, there was doggy style, where you always cum, then a 69 to rest my pelvis, which frankly was not used to so much use! I had you roll over sideways, and we followed it up with a calmer, slower missionary, and a doggy standing half off the bed before finally, I grunted that you should turn around, and then I covered your face and tits with my cum. You grinned through the white haze, and told me it was amazing. And you were right.

Well, we ended our relationship two years ago now. I miss you very much, both personally and sexually, and I never really got closure because I never saw you after that last visit, two years, four months ago. But I have a new love now... a woman who is amazing to me, who cared about me enough and saw enough in me to wait until I recovered from our breakup... a woman whom I've asked to be my wife. This little recounting is to thank you for all you did for me. You'll never read this, I'm sure. But I want you to know you were incredible. I will always, on some level, love you, and I truly hope you find your happiness someday. Thank you for joining me for a while on my journey, and making me see what was good and to be treasured in life.