93 comments/ 125544 views/ 11 favorites Butt Dial Breakup By: StangStar06 "So, can that giant bitch do this," asked my fiancé Elaine, taking the length of my dick into her mouth and halfway down her throat. She opened her mouth and grazed the top with her teeth gently, and it felt so good that I wasn't going to be able to hold back. "Whoa cowboy, we're nowhere near done," said Elaine. She squeezed the base of my dick and got off the floor. Then she lay down on the bed beside me, and started gently kissing me, slowing down the action so I'd last longer. I pulled her over to me until we were as close as we could get without being the same person, and grabbed a couple of handfuls of her generous ass. Elaine had awoken me over an hour ago with the day's first blowjob, and we were still at it. Whenever she had to go out of town for her job, she always tried to kill me with sex before she left and after she returned. I'd actually gone on a few of these trips with her, but they were so boring, that I started letting her go alone. Besides I trusted her. We were supposed to be getting married, three weeks from tomorrow, and were very much in love, or so I thought. Yesterday, we'd been walking through a nearby park, hand in hand. You know it's one of those things that people who are in love do, that no one knows why we do it. I know that the guys do it, because we figure that if we do a lot of those useless romantic things, we get pussy. There is no other reason for us to want to walk slowly around a fucking park, on a beautiful day when we could be washing our cars, or playing video games or watching sports. So women if your guy tells you, that he loves taking long walks in the park, know that, "A," he's lying, and that, "B," he's lying because he loves you, or at least because he wants to fuck you. Anyway we're walking through the park, and Elaine is going over some minute detail about our upcoming wedding yet again, when I saw her. Noelle Peterson, the one that got away. All through high-school and halfway through college, I'd had a crush on Noelle Peterson. She'd disappeared halfway through college, just did not show up for year three. Of course there were rumors; a girl that hot doesn't just go off the grid without causing a disturbance in the force. I'd heard several of them. She'd gotten pregnant and had to leave school. She'd quit to become a model; She'd quit to do porn, no one really knew. And now here she was again. She was just there, jogging slowly in the park, what were the odds of that. As she got near us, I just stopped and stared at her, with my mouth hanging open. Apparently I'd lost the ability to work my body parts, because I couldn't seem to remember how to close it. My mouth wasn't the only thing I'd forgotten. Elaine was still walking and didn't realize that I wasn't until the yank on our still clasped hands almost pulled her off her feet. Noelle jogged over and said "Hi," just as if the past four years had never happened. "Hi Cal," she said, with her effervescent smile. "Hi Noelle," I replied, with every fiber of my being trying to sound as friendly as possible, while also conveying the fact that I'd do anything she wanted anytime she wanted. "Who's this?" she asked, holding out her hand to Elaine. "Who's who?" I replied still smiling like an idiot. I was brought out of my stupor by Elaine's sharp elbow hitting my sensitive ribs. "Oh," I said, "Noelle Peterson, meet Elaine Saunders, we're engaged." "Oh congratulations," beamed Noelle, "You're really lucky, he's a great guy." "Well," she said. "I need to finish my run; hope I run into you again." And she was gone, leaving me hot and bothered in her wake. "Well, I need to finish my run," mocked Elaine, pretending to run, and trying to make her hair bounce the way Noelle's had. "Close your mouth dumb ass, you're letting all of the flies out," snapped Elaine. "Besides, she's gone, and if you know what's good for you, don't ever let me hear that bitch's name come out of your mouth," she said. I guess I was prepared for the reaction, because Noelle was a very polarizing force. Every guy I knew, regardless of race creed or color, lusted after her. And almost every woman I knew hated her. Noelle was probably the sweetest and kindest person I knew, and I really believe that she had no idea, of the reaction she caused in men. Women on the other hand just seemed to automatically compare themselves to her, and lost. She was tall, and slender, with incredible legs, a heart shaped butt, and just perfect breasts. She had long very blond hair, blue eyes, and lips that just demanded to be kissed. Elaine on the other hand, was barely five feet tall; with the biggest juiciest ass you've ever seen. This was important to me because I am beyond a doubt an ass man plain and simple. Over the next couple of days, I could tell Elaine was still reacting to the Noelle encounter. Every time we did anything, it was, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather be with Noelle." Even now after more than an hour of great sex, there were the Noelle comparisons. Elaine straddled me with her head facing towards my feet. Then she started riding me faster and faster. She knew I loved this position, because it allowed me to watch her flex that ass as she worked. She had this ability to squeeze my dick with the walls of her vagina and just milk the sperm out of me. Right now, she was squeezing and I was squirming, and then she suddenly stopped. She turned her head and torso around so she could look over her shoulder at me. "Almost there huh?" she smiled at me. "Uh huh," I said, nodding vigorously at her. "I guess you want to cum, huh?" she asked. "Well yeah," I snapped. She started moving again, and I teetered near the brink. "Slap that ass, baby," she said. "You like that ass, don't you?" she asked in a breathless voice. "Oh yeah I replied doing my best to hold back." "You like this pussy, don't you?" she asked again. "I love this pussy," I said through clenched teeth. Then she got off me and came around and looked at me. "Good," she snapped evilly. "I want you to remember, how pissed off you are at me right now," she smirked. "Because, if you ever "Run into" that bitch again, this is how it'll be," she snapped. "Only you'll be cut off permanently," she said. Then she got up and took a shower leaving me there on the bed. When she came out of the bathroom, I was pissed. As she sauntered over to me to kiss me goodbye, I didn't even want to talk to her, let alone kiss her goodbye. I really just wanted her to get the fuck out of my apartment so I could jack off while I thought about Noelle. "Are you going to drive me to the airport, honey?" she asked in a sweet voice. "Yeah," I said angrily. I didn't even shower; I just threw some clothes on, and took her to the airport. "I guess you're angry with me," she said. "But I was just trying to prove a point to you. You and I love each other, we're all we need," she said. "We really don't need anyone else butting into our relationship or our heads." "You belong to me," she continued, "Not to some old friend or fantasy girl. I promise, I'll take care of you better than ever, as soon as I get home, tomorrow." "You'll be home tomorrow?" I asked. "Yes baby, why should I stay for the entire conference, when I can come home to you," she said. "My boss, Dean, is receiving an award, and I have to introduce him before he does his presentation," she continued. "That's tonight, but I don't need to be there for the rest of the events." "So first thing in the morning, I'll be telling, my co-workers goodbye and flying home to my man," she said, "why would I want to stay with them when I could be with you?" When she said that, it did make me feel a little bit better, so I decided, that when I got home, I'd let my dick decided who I wanted to jack off to, but she still wasn't forgiven. "Can you try to handle at least a couple of the wedding planning things from that list I left you?" she asked as she kissed me goodbye. "We've got over two weeks before the wedding," I said, there's plenty of time. I drove home and got really busy, doing a lot of important stuff, that needed to be done. I washed my Mustang, so I could try out, a new type of wax. For the past two years, I'd been stuck; I really didn't know whether I liked the McGuire's wax or the Turtle wax Ice better. This time I was trying an older product, Turtle Wax Cleaner Wax, what I liked about it was that it could go straight on the car while it was still wet. Then I went to the movies with my friend Steve, and we stopped by Best Buy on our way home to upgrade my iPhone. By the time I got done doing all of the important stuff, there was no time left to do any of the wedding stuff. Well it was still early, but I was hungry, surely she wouldn't want me to starve just to handle some of the minor details for her wedding? My cell phone rang and naturally it was her, calling to tell about what she was doing. She was upset because she had flubbed her intro speech. Some of her colleagues had laughed, but she took it very seriously. "I'm just going to go to bed, and wake up early, to get to the airport to fly back to you Cal," she said. "I can hardly wait," I said. We said our goodbyes and hung up. I lay down on the bed thinking about how great my life was. Sure I hadn't ended up with Noelle, but Elaine was right, Noelle was a fantasy. I needed a real woman in my life. Besides, I am an ass man, and Elaine might not be centerfold material, but her ass was a work of art. I would never trade her for Noelle. Just as I was about to drift off to sleep dreaming dirty dreams about my fiancé, my cell phone rang again. It was Elaine's phone, so I picked it up. "Hello," I said. "Did you forget something?" No one said anything. In the background I heard someone humming and it sounded like Elaine. Then I heard a telephone ringing in the background as well. I realized that Elaine had accidentally, put her phone, either in her pocket or down on the table, and pushed a button that caused the phone to call me. It was called butt dialing, and sometimes the things that people said when they didn't think anyone could hear them were really funny. I pushed the record button on my iPhone and continued to listen. I heard Elaine answer her hotel room phone. "No, you can't come up here," she said. "I already told you, last time was the last time," she added. "Cal and I are getting married soon," she said. "Because, he never knew about it, and he won't," she said. "Besides, we aren't married yet," she said. "But once we are, I intend to be faithful," she said. "No, I don't think it'll get boring, but you would know, wouldn't you, after all you are the one who's married," she said. "No, absolutely not, not even just for that," she said. Then there was silence, for a while and I was having trouble breathing. "Alright," she said,"Come on up, but this is the last time." "I mean it," she said. A few minutes later, I heard her let him into the room and I heard exactly what I needed to hear. "Don't ever ask me to do this again Brian," she said. Then I heard a zipper going down, heavy breathing and all the rest. I couldn't believe she was fucking Brian Matthews. It was hilarious. That motherfucker was practically a Marsupial. He was built like a kangaroo. He had a really tiny upper body, and a huge almost womanly ass, and a big gut. Then to top it off, he had a long pointy nose and an overbite. I'm no where near Brad Pitt, but I'm a lot closer than he is. The thought of them rolling around in bed together would be comedic, if my heart wasn't breaking. The rumor about Brian was that he'd married his sister because he and his wife looked so much alike. Well, fuck Elaine, Brian could have her. There was no way I intended to try and stand in the path of true love. She could spend the rest of her fucking life sneaking around with that walrus, because there was no way I would ever take her back. If she was cheating on me while we were still engaged and madly in love, who knows what she'd do once we were actually married and I couldn't just walk away. My momma didn't raise no stupid kids. This is over, I thought. As a matter of fact, thanks Brian, for letting me know what I was getting into. I'm still gonna kick your ass, the very next time I see you, but thanks just the same. While I tossed and turned, that night, I was working on my plan to get back at that bitch. The first thing I concentrated on, was deciding what was the most important thing to her? The answer was simple, the wedding; it was all she'd talked about for months. So whatever I did to her had to happen at her frigging wedding. I didn't like the idea because it meant I was going to have to put up with her fat ass for another two weeks, but sometimes, sacrifices have to be made. It seemed strange to me that, less than an hour ago, I worshipped that woman, but now, it was another story. It also made me wonder about myself, because I've read articles and stories where they talk about how feelings of love linger, and can't be quickly eradicated. So I must not be human, or what I had can't have been love because all I had in mind for Elaine, was humiliation and embarrassment. Step one I had to find a way to avoid having sex with her, but it had to be her idea, so she wouldn't suspect anything. This would've been really easy if this were a fiction story, I'd go to a doctor and get him to say I had a urinary tract infection or some such shit. But in the real world Doctors are not that fucking nice. Then I had the answer, there were two unimpeachable sources of information that Elaine would never doubt. One was Oprah; the other was that fucking Brides Forum website she was always going on every fucking day. She consulted that thing about our wedding and our plans more than she did me. I'd often told her, that maybe she should marry that website. I logged on to it and was nauseated by the amount of pure boondoggle there was. It was a bunch of old wives tales all wrapped up and modernized for the internet generation. There were also articles by pseudo experts on every aspect married life. I picked up my laptop and wrote an article on pre-marital sex. In the article I talked about how couples in the modern era weren't enjoying their honeymoons as much because there was no mystery about the wedding night. Most couples now wouldn't think about marrying someone without taking them for a test drive. So by the time they got to their honeymoon it was really anti-climactic. Most couples had more fun doing things like enjoying the new area and atmosphere than they did with their first bouts of married sex. Perhaps that's why there were so many websites full of horror stories about one spouse or the other cheating during their honeymoons. So in my article, I promoted the sexual vacation. I explained how to make things fresh and new again, the couple should not have sex, for two weeks to a month before getting married. Then when they got on their honeymoon, they'd be all fired up for each other again. I called myself Dr. F.U. Cheetar. And I listed, P.P. On. U, as my professional degree. Then I uploaded the article to the website. Apparently the people who published the site were as stupid as Elaine because it was up in under an hour. I knew that as Elaine had her breakfast at the airport she'd read it, and probably by the time she got home, she would have some kind of scheme to keep me from having sex with her for two weeks until our honeymoon. Women were infinitely better at all of that sneaky shit anyway, so let her worry about it. I had to admit I was going to miss that ass though, but in the worst case scenario, there was always her sister. She'd always had the hots for me, and except for being a couple of years younger, could almost be Elaine's twin. The next thing I did after I woke up was to call my boss, and tell him that I had a problem and I needed help. He was a great guy, so he agreed to my plan. He would give me a letter on company letterhead that stated that we were going to miss a paycheck because the company was overextended and after paying a couple of fines couldn't make payroll. It was only a temporary thing though and we would be paid in full with the next check. The next morning I woke up late. Staying up and planning had fucking worn me out. My phone started ringing, and that was what finally woke me up. I looked at the display, and right on time it was my cheating, butt dialing, ex fiancé. "Hello," I said into the phone, in a voice that sounded like I was dying. "Where are you, baby?" asked Elaine,"What's wrong?" "Sorry, sweetheart, Tom called us in for an emergency meeting," I said. "The company got some heavy fines yesterday, and they're going to have to delay our paychecks. That means I'm not going to be able to pay for my share of our wedding stuff until after the wedding," my voice was a perfect example of disappointment. "Well, Don't worry about it honey, I'll just get some money from my savings, and borrow the rest from my parents," she said,"Nothing is going to stop me from marrying you." "I'll pay you back as soon as we're man and wife," I said, allowing what seemed like a little bit of joy to creep back into my voice. "Elaine, I really think, they're doing this, just to get rid of some of us," I said."So I'm going to have to be on my P's and Q's until this is over." "Well honey I have something I need to talk to you about too," she said, "And you're not going to like it, but it's really important for out honeymoon." "We're cancelling the cruise?" I asked. "Of course not," she said,"I read an article last night while I was waiting to fall asleep in my lonely hotel room without you." I started to just tell the bitch, that she couldn't have read the article last night, because she was too busy getting fucked by marsupial man. And also because I didn't fucking write it, until early this morning. I wondered then how long she had been lying to me, was our whole relationship just one lie after another? She told me that she'd take a cab home, which was great for me because, I didn't want that bitch in my Mustang again. I spent the rest of the morning looking for a new apartment, because after the wedding I was going to need a new place to stay. I would spend the next couple of weeks slowly getting all of my stuff out of the apartment into the new place. Anything I couldn't take, I'd just have to leave. I found a building that had great apartments, and scheduled an appointment for Monday afternoon. When I got home, I prayed that Elaine had read my article. I went into the apartment and attacked her. I pulled her to me and started rubbing her small breasts through her top. She was ready to go. Her nipples seemed to go from not there to hard as diamonds instantly. I dropped my hands to her ass and started squeezing it as I pulled her pants covered pussy against me. She was beginning, to hump me back and then she pushed me away. "We need to talk," she said looking at me. "Sweetie, I know I promised that I'd take care of you as soon as I got home but something has come up," she said. I just looked at her in pretend shock. "Don't take it like that," she said. "You lied," I said through clenched teeth. My voice was the very definition of righteous indignation, "Who is he?" "Who is who?" she asked nervously. "The guy you're sleeping with, since you don't want me," I said. She started laughing at that point, "Honey, there is no guy," she said. Then she handed me a print out of the article I wrote, and told me to read it. A few minutes later, I just looked at her and told her it was all horse shit. "You're just using this to cover up for your guy," I said, and I started walking towards the door. Butt Dial Breakup "Where are you going?" she snapped. "Right now, I just don't want to be around you," I said quietly. And I left the room. This would give her the impression that I was upset about not sleeping with her. In actuality, I was running late for an appointment I'd set up. The rest of the weekend, Elaine called me two or three times a day, and I didn't answer the phone or call her back. I had to be very careful not to push it so hard that she just changed her mind and came over to try and fuck me. Sunday night I got the call I'd been waiting for. I had gone to my appointment after the argument with Elaine; it was with a guy who worked in the personnel dept. at her job. He'd gotten me Brian's phone number. Brian had, if he was on schedule gotten home a couple of hours ago. It was Sunday night and his wife worked the weekends as a nurse. That should leave my old friend Brian all alone with nowhere to go. I dialed the number and he answered on the third ring. "Yo Bry," I said. "Who is this?" he answered in his whiny little voice. "It's Cal, Calvin Baker," I said, "Elaine told me that you might be interested in attending my bachelor party next weekend." "Well me and a couple of the guys are having a get together right now to decided where we're going and what we're going to do and we thought we needed a fresh opinion," I said. "Elaine is always talking about how great your taste is, so I thought maybe you could come out and look at a couple of places with us." "I suppose I could make it," he said. "Great I'll give you my address," I said. I gave the doofus my address and told him to come on over right now. I hoped he'd hurry; I wouldn't want him to be late for his own ass kicking. Actually I had more plans for old Brian. Brian ran right over. He parked in the lot behind my building, as I'd told him to. I liked the lot behind the building even though I would never park there. It was dark back there and there were no security cameras. Brian got out of his car, and I walked over to him. As soon as he came up to me I punched him in the mouth as hard as I could. As my fist connected with his mouth, his head rocked back and he was spitting out blood and I think; a tooth as well. "What the fuck is wrong with you," he sputtered out. I had trouble making out what he was saying because of all of the blood and teeth, it sounded like the teacher on the Charlie Brown cartoons. "Blah bluh blah blah blahbluh bluh," He said as I busted him in the face again. He stumbled backwards and I unloaded one in his gut, and first he whooshed out all of the air in his body then he threw up. He started crying, and trying to crawl away from me. As he crawled I just ran up and kicked him in his fat ass, sending him sprawling in the dirt of the alley. "Do you want to know why I'm doing this, Brian?" I asked. "You already know don't you? I yelled. He shook his head, no. "Stop lying, you piece of shit," I snapped and held my iPhone up to his face. As he tried to focus on the phone I touched the screen and the recording started playing. Finally I got to the part where she mentioned his name, and then you could hear his whiny voice. "I'm going to sue you for Alienation of affection, Brian," I snapped. "But unless you help me, that'll be the least of your problems, you fat bitch," I snapped. "I'm going to play this tape for your wife, and for the personnel director of your company," I told him. "I'm going to need your help with something," I told him. "When I call if you don't show up, I make two more calls and you won't have a job or a wife," I said. And I left him there crying in the alley. When I got home Elaine was waiting in my apartment. "Calvin we need to talk" she said. "Elaine I don't want to talk to you right now," I said. "Cal, forget about the article, I made a mistake," she said. I took off my clothes and got into bed. Elaine smiled when she saw me taking my clothes off, and started to undress as well. "Good night Elaine," I said, "You know the way out," She was shocked. "But Cal honey, I miss you, I wanted to sleep over," she said. "Elaine, I don't think I could sleep with a woman who doesn't want to have sex with me," I said. "But Cal I want to," she said. "That's why I'm here." "It's too late Elaine, I don't want to now," I told her. She started crying, and telling me it was a mistake. "No Elaine, you made an even bigger mistake first," I said I had to bite my tongue because I almost gave it away. "What the fuck are you talking about? Calvin," she asked. "Look Elaine, you just keep yanking my chain, and I'm tired of it," I said. Just give me a couple of days to cool off and maybe we'll talk then," I said. The next day after work, I went and looked at the apartment I found on the internet. I liked the building and the neighborhood, and of course the apartment itself, but the greatest of the fringe benefits didn't reveal itself until after I'd put down my security deposit. As I was leaving the managers apartment, I turned and almost knocked down a woman carrying an armful of bags. As I grabbed her to prevent her from falling or dropping her bags I looked into those incredible blue eyes again. "Thanks Cal," she said. "No problem, Noelle," I replied. "Are you and your fiancé, thinking about moving in," she asked. "We broke up," I said sadly Was I mistaken or did her smile get a little bigger? "Oh, that's a shame," she said, "If you need someone to talk to, you can always call me." "Why don't you come up to my apartment, so I can give you my phone number," she continued. I was in heaven and hell at the same time. On one hand, the woman I had always fantasized about was clearly putting the moves on me. On the other hand if I did anything to take advantage of it, I'd be just as big a cheater as Elaine was. "Noelle, I've always, and I do mean always liked you," I said. "For most of my life, I would have given anything to go out with you," I continued, watching her smile grow larger. "But what I need right now, is a friend. So if you're interested, in that, please call me," I said and I gave her one of my business cards. It only had my work number on it, but if she called me there I could give her my cell number. I got a call the next day from Brian, of all people. "She wants to see me, what should I do?" he asked. "I think you should do it," I said sadly. "But she's never called me before, usually I'm the one," he started. "Have her come over to your place, I'm coming over there now," I said. I went over to Brian's house. It was a small place, but Brian and his wife had put a lot of effort into making it a home. There were nice pictures and other things all over that really added comfort, and cheerfulness and God damn it, love to the place. I felt like the biggest asshole in the world about what I had planned. Originally it was going to be scorched earth. I was going to take Brian and his marriage down with my relationship, but now I was having second thoughts. "OK Brian," I said, "All I want you to do is just get her to talk about screwing you before now." "If you get her to do that, we're done, and you're in the clear." "Really?" he asked. "Yep," I said, "You get a free pass this time." "Elaine has had her cake and ate it too, for a long time," I continued. "The only person who loses here is me," I said. "But you get...," he started. "Yeah, I get a measure of revenge, but I'm losing a woman that I really loved and wanted to marry. I somehow don't think that 15 minutes of shocked faces and yucks, is a good trade." He nodded in what I actually believed was sympathy. "Look I don't want to be here while you guys have your fun so if you'll excuse me, I'm leaving before she gets here," I said. A couple of hours later Brian called me to come and pick up the tape. As I watched it, I saw that if I wanted to go through with my new plan and keep Brian out of it, it would need to be edited. I had a friend from work who was always putting videos on You Tube and other places. I knew that he could help me do it, so I called him. Even though Brian and Elaine didn't have sex in the video, because he couldn't get it up, it was very damning on Elaine's part. It gave me everything I needed. "What a fucking bitch," George said as we took out all of the shots where Brian's face was visible. It's very easy to say things like that when you don't know the whole story, so I let it pass. Did I feel sorry for Elaine? Maybe I did, because I could see what George couldn't. Elaine had, as Brian said never called him for sex before. It was always him calling her, as it had been that time in the hotel room. She had been driven to it this time by the way that I was treating her. Ever since she got back from her trip, I'd been distant, and scheming. Maybe all she was looking for was a little bit of affection from another human being, while she was in pain. I couldn't and never would, condone her original cheating on me, but this one I could understand; at least I could see the context under which her actions were decided. On the other hand, I wasn't one of those wimpy guys, who could ever put up with being cheated on. I had never cheated on her, and if we had gotten married, never would have, and I deserve the same kind of respect. So I had to go through with my plan. The day after her session with Brian, I had just gotten back from moving a lot of my stuff, from my old apartment to the new one, and found Elaine in my apartment waiting for me. She was crying and she really looked bad. As I walked in she just came over to me and wrapped her arms around me bawling her eyes out. "What happened to us?" she cried. "I keep going over it over and over again in my mind, but I can't figure it out," she said. "I know that at least in part, I'm responsible for it," she continued."Because I was the one who read that stupid article. My dad always told me, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But I was so sure that the experts couldn't be wrong," she said. "I just wanted to give you the best honeymoon ever." "I didn't want you to get tired of having sex with me," she said quietly. "Mostly because what we have is so special." "I haven't had a whole lot of relationships in my life," she said quietly. "I know I'm pretty but I'm not a raving beauty like your friend Noelle," she said. "I know my ass is huge, but you seemed to like it," she said. "So I really thought that we were perfect for each other," she said. "I love you like nothing else I can even think of," she added, very seriously. "But now, I'm not even sure we're going to get married," she said with a hitch in her voice. "And all because I didn't have sex with you, so I need to ask you a question," she said. "Do you really love me, or do you just love fucking me?" she asked. "Because I love you, fully, all of you, every little personality quirk, and nasty habit," she said. "I want to marry you and have your kids, and spend the rest of my life with you," she said as my heart broke again. "But I need to know, how you feel about it," she said. I just pulled her to me and hugged her tighter. At that moment, I truly loved her more than I ever had before. And maybe I was becoming more mature, more accepting, but I felt awful, because I realized that there could be no happy ending here. I truly believed that Elaine really did love me, very much, and I loved her too. But there was just a barrier here that we couldn't get through, and it was an important one. The honesty barrier, Elaine just couldn't stop hiding the truth, which was in a way lying. She couldn't just come out and say,"Cal, I cheated on you, I'm sorry, it'll never happen again," I also couldn't tell her that I knew about her cheating, and ask her why it had happened, so we could try to work this out. I also wasn't lying to myself, because no matter what the reason was, it would never be enough. I had too much pride to put up with having a cheater for a wife. Perhaps in many ways those wimpy guys got it right, maybe they were strong enough, or weak enough to put their love for their wives ahead of their pride. But I just was not made that way. The day before our wedding, Elaine came over and she really looked beautiful. Maybe not Noelle, unearthly beautiful, but as someone who truly loved her, she took my breath away. As she ran up to me, and hugged me, I felt her small breasts flatten against my chest. I couldn't help it, I let my hands slide down her body and grabbed that ass and just pulled her into me. "Oh God I've missed that," she said lustily. "But just you wait baby, in just over twenty four hours you'll be back inside me," she said. I kissed her and smacked her on her ass for the last time as she walked away from me. The next day the church was crowded as I walked in, not from the back but through the front doors with all of the other invited guests. Out of respect for the event I wore a suit, and a nice one, but not the tux I was supposed to get married in. I guess someone must've told Elaine that I was there because I could see her nervously peeking out from behind the curtain, and then smile. I guess maybe she hadn't noticed who I was with, or what I was wearing. I saw her parents and waved at them, I could tell they were puzzled, by what I was doing and wearing. After all I should be standing up front with the pastor, not sitting in the third row with Noelle. And Noelle was definitely on. Every guy in the place including my dad had nearly stopped breathing when they saw her. I almost laughed out loud when my mom grabbed dad by his chin and made him stop looking at her. Then they played the wedding march and Elaine, looking really great proceeded down the aisle to the pastor, who was as puzzled as everyone else. When she got there, she turned around and looked at me and said,"Honey, get up here." God, I wanted to go, but I just frowned a little and shook my head. That's when I pointed my remote control towards the front of the church. As everyone watched I pushed the button and the screen we had set up behind the pulpit dropped down. I pushed another button and a slideshow started. There were pictures of Elaine and me, through out our relationship. Us hugging during our first ski trip together; us kissing at a picnic, and doing all kinds of things together. As the slides continued the audio kicked in and everyone heard Elaine's phone conversation with Brian at the hotel. There were a lot of shocked faces, including her parents. Then the video of Elaine's meeting with Brian at his house started. Everyone watched as she took off her clothes, and tried to get him aroused, she even sucked his dick but to no avail. And when he told her it was over, that he couldn't cheat on his wife anymore, she had gotten angry and told him, that she controlled, and decided what happened with them and it wasn't over until she, said so. That part was really important, because it was the part that I had shown the HR coordinator at her job. They were settling out of court with me for failure to enforce the morals clause in her contract. Monday Elaine would also be notified that she was terminated and being sued, by her former employer. Brian being the one, who appeared to be the victim, was as I promised him, given a pass this time. The ass beating I gave him was his only punishment. He got off really cheaply, all things considered. Elaine looked at me, she was horrified, "I can explain," she said. "No need," I replied. I held out my hand and Noelle put hers inside it and we left the church, as Elaine exploded into tears, and everyone else just didn't know how to react. Noelle and I got into the waiting limo and left the church. We had both packed bags and I had removed Elaine's bags from the limo's trunk earlier. The limo driver took us down to the docks, and we boarded the ship for the cruise that Elaine and I were supposed to go on for our honeymoon. All that day, Elaine tried to call me. Finally just as the ship was leaving the port, my cell phone rang again. "It's her again," said Noelle. "Answer it before she leaves a message," I said. "Hello," said Noelle, cheerfully, "He's right here." "Hello," I said after she handed me the phone. "Cal, can we please talk about this?" asked Elaine. "What is there to talk about Elaine?" I asked. "You cheated on me, multiple times," I said. "I'm sorry," she said. "No Elaine, you're sorry I found out that's all," I said. "If you had really been sorry, you would have been honest with me," I said. "If you had, maybe there's the possibility that we could have worked this out," I continued. Just then the ships horn boomed in the background. "Where the fuck, are you?" she snapped. "I'm taking the cruise that you booked for our honeymoon," I said. "We wouldn't want it to go to waste, but just so there's closure all around, I'll call you when I get back and we can talk about all of this," I said as I hung up the phone. During the cruise, Noelle and I became an item. We had a lot of sex, and everyman on the ship was jealous of me. I on the other hand couldn't wait for it to be over and for us to get back home. The cruise was only for two weeks, but during those two weeks I learned a lot of things, about myself, women, love and life in general. On the surface it seemed like I had it all, I had the hot, beautiful, girl on my arm; I had gotten rid of the cheating girlfriend in a big way. The scene at the wedding caused nearly all of our friends to turn away from Elaine. She also lost her job, and was being sued by her former employer. She was responsible for nearly all of the costs of the elaborate wedding we had, including the cruise that Noelle and I took. So as planned, I got my revenge. But it was a hollow victory, and to quote Cher, "if I could turn back time," I'd have done everything differently. As I'd realized before, there really couldn't be a happy ending here. Noelle really did love me, which was part of the problem, she clamped down on me, and I knew she'd never let me go. I was apparently the first guy in the middle for her. All she'd ever run into were the super confident ass hole guys, who looked at her, saw how beautiful she was and claimed her as if she was a trophy. They fucked her, and then ducked her as they moved on towards their next conquest. On the other hand the nice guys were so intimidated by her that they just never asked her out. She'd been my fantasy for as long as I could remember, and that was the problem, no flesh and blood woman could ever live up to that fantasy. After a few conversations with her on the ship, I started to notice that she was truly as sweet and loving as I'd always dreamed she'd be, but that she didn't really have a lot to say. I started finding myself bored with her long before the cruise was over. Sex was also not what I was expecting. I was so intimidated by her presence and her body that I never made a move on her. It was actually her who started us up. One night we'd gone back to our cabin, after another evening of every fucking guy on the ship staring at her, and drooling over her. They also stared at me; half of them thought that I must have a dick like a foot long beer can. The other half of them thought I was a multibillionaire. There was no other explanation, why "She" would be with "Me". When we got back to the cabin, Noelle gave me what has to be the worst blow job in history. It was so bad that I had trouble not laughing. I know most of us have heard the expression there's no such thing as a bad blow job; take it from me there is. Then she took her clothes off, and lay down beside me on the bed. She pulled her legs apart and just stared at me. It was like fucking a blow up doll, a cheap one. The ones' without the voice track. She just lay there and smiled. We did one position, missionary, and that was it; after I came she rolled over and told me she loved me. Butt Dial Breakup "How can she?" I thought; she doesn't even know me. I realized then that I was in trouble. I missed Elaine. I missed her smile, and her walk. I missed her personality, and the way she said things. I missed our conversations and our arguments. I missed having sex with her, nope that's not it. Noelle and I, had sex. Elaine and I fucked; there is definitely a difference. Elaine's blowjobs could curl my toes up. Noelle even after getting some practice always made me want to say, "Look, just stop!" Noelle just laid there during sex, smiling at me with that vapid fucking smile. She didn't even move and her fucking hair wasn't even mussed. Just between the two of us, I swear she sometimes just checked out mentally while we did it, and unfortunately we did it a lot. It was just plain boring, fucking silent, ninja sex. Elaine on the other hand was like a God damned roller coaster, because once she got started, you just had to hang on until the ride was over. It was always wet and nasty, and hot, and just fantastic. The things Elaine said while we fucked alone could get me excited just thinking about them. God I missed her. Noelle had an absolutely perfect body, she could have been a playboy center fold, but the thing that amazes me even now is that her body once you've seen it just doesn't excite you. It's like that first time you sneak and take the clothes off of your sisters Barbie doll, or a statue, it's technically so perfect that it loses something. Elaine on the other hand was shorter, a little bit chunky, her tummy was just a bit rounded, but I didn't care, I thought it was sexy. And I'd always loved imagining that someday my child would be in there. Her breasts were smaller, but they were so much softer and way more responsive. If I sucked them or just touched them, her legs would start rubbing together. I really think I could have stuck a pin in one of Noelle's boobs while she wasn't looking and she'd still look at me with that same vapid smile. I missed Elaine's ass, more than anything else. Noelle had one of those perfect fashion model type; slim hipped boyish asses that just seemed like it was missing something. I missed Elaine's ass so much that I wanted to write it a letter explaining my feelings about it. With Elaine, I have to admit she always kept me wanting more when it came to sex. We could go all night, and in the morning, I'd take her in the shower. Part of that was because she controlled it. There were lots of times when if no one was looking we'd have a quickie in a restaurant or other public place. But she told me no, or hell no a lot of the time. Noelle on the other hand, looked at it like a part of the job, like some kind of fucking Stepford wife. After the first two or three days on the cruise, she pretty much had the schedule down, I think she just put a sensor in my shorts and when I was ready so was she. We'd just walk into the cabin, and she'd lie down and pull her legs apart. It was getting to the point where I was thinking about getting extreme just to get a reaction out of her. Let's face it my fantasy was a fucking nightmare. Either that or I had grown up. More likely it was the way Agent Smith described the 2nd version of the matrix, it was too perfect, and so people kept going insane and killing themselves. About 2 weeks after being back, I knew what I wanted. I wanted Elaine back, but I knew that my pride wouldn't allow me to take her back, because she had cheated on me. While I was struggling with my feelings and the whole love versus pride thing, the decision was made for me. I spoke to Elaine's parents and found out that she'd gotten so upset about the way things ended that she had left town to get a new start. Two days later I found out that Noelle was pregnant. She wanted us to get married and stay together forever. Just think about it I was trapped into marrying the girl I'd always dreamed of. The girl I was in love with had moved away, and I'd probably never see her again. I'd broken up with her because she had cheated on me and I hated cheaters in every way shape and form. Noelle would never cheat on me, though by God I wished that she would. And lastly, I knew that if Elaine ever came through town, as much as I'd want to, I could never leave with her. I couldn't abandon my child under any circumstance, but would I cheat on Noelle with Elaine? Would I the person who hated cheaters with a passion violate my marriage vows for illicit sex? Would I cheat on the perfect fantasy woman, for some chunky woman with a big fat ass...? You betcha!