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Brownwood: Hedge Funds Ch. 01

By: DFWBeast



Author's Note: Just a short story of love, betrayal, revenge and an attempt at reconciliation that fits in the Brownwood series. The Brownwood series is a group of independent stories with ties to the fictional city of Brownwood. Crossover characters are present. Brownwood: Welcome To Brownwood is a flash (1,000 word) description of the area for those who want a more detailed setting. 

Warning, this isn't as 'aggressive' as some of my other BTB stories. It's kind of a RAAC with the All Costs being shared by both the husband and wife. If attempted reconciliation stories ain't your thing then I'd skip this one. 

As with most of my stories, you won't find a lot of graphic sex in this one, actually none in the first chapter. The second and final chapter is finished and will be submitted a few days after the first. 

Thanks to my volunteer editors, anonymous and findingmyvoice, for making this a better read. Yep, I needed two. I apparently need a LOT of help! LOL! Ladies, it's very much appreciated. BTW Any mistakes you find are mine, since I always tend to mess with my stories after I get them back from an editor. 

***** 

Summer 2013 - Crystal Lake State Park (7 miles NW of Brownwood) 

I picked up my drink, looked around at my surroundings, and smiled. Gawd, I love our little cabin! Well, it isn't exactly little or a cabin, it's a doublewide trailer sitting on two full acres over-looking Crystal Lake. My husband, David Jennings, inherited it several years ago from his grandparents. It's become our summer vacation home for the two or three weeks we spend up here at the lake each year. Someday we're going to build our dream home here. 

As I grabbed my beach towel and headed back outside, I glanced at myself in the mirror. Now I'm not narcissistic but as I critiqued myself in my bikini, I had to smile. My pale green eyes set off what some have called a pretty face. At 5'10, waist length raven hair, and only twelve pounds heavier than my trim weight back in college, I knew I was still attractive. Damn girl, you look pretty good for a 37 year-old mother of two, I thought to myself. I took pride in the way I looked since I'd worked hard to keep my figure after having my kids. 

I walked out onto our deck, lay down in the lounge chair, and stretched out. I immediately felt the hot summer sun begin doing its job of slowly baking me in my suntan oil. I could hear my family playing in the distance, down by the dock. 

As I felt the sun melting me, I thought back on how hard this last year-and-a-half had been. My marriage of 15 years had been battered and bruised but it hadn't broken. It'd been difficult but we'd made it through. 

I won't tell you we had a perfect marriage before this rough patch. Those are the dreams of fantasy and TV movies on the Hallmark Channel. But I can tell you truthfully, I love my husband more now than I ever have. The fact that I know he loves me makes that easy. 

One of the main contributors to our current situation has been our jobs. Between the two, they've been wreaking havoc on our marriage. David is an independent financial investment consultant and I'm the Director of Design for a large corporation back home in Dallas. 

David has been traveling more during this time than he ever has during our marriage. He landed two large business clients, one in Atlanta and one in Phoenix, and spends three or four days a month at each site. Add a monthly weekend seminar there in Dallas, and he hasn't been spending near the amount of time at home as he used to. 

I don't want to make it seem like I'm blaming him for our current situation since I've thrown myself into my job as well. I travel a few times a year, visiting our clients and I regularly go to Chicago at least twice a year for training at our main corporate offices. Each training session usually lasts about a week. 

The business travel, the frequent late nights trying to make project deadlines, and the hustle and bustle of raising two kids had left me exhausted. The thing that was beginning to wear on me the most though, was the constant advances my boss was making towards me. 

Since his divorce two years ago, he'd been getting more and more aggressive. So why didn't I just go to HR and report this? Well... it's complicated. 

The gentle sun caressed me as I fell asleep in its warm embrace. Soon, I awoke to the sensation of water dripping on me and heard muffled giggles from my daughter. 

Looking up, I found myself staring into the smiling faces of my two children. Ryan, my fourteen-year-old son, and Michele, my thirteen-year-old daughter, who were allowing the lake water to drip off their hair onto me. In a sweet, angelic duet they spoke. 

"Wake up, wake up Mommy Dearest!" they sang. 

I couldn't contain my groan. It was obvious they wanted something. I decided to play along so I replied in my sweetest, most insincere voice. 

"Oh my dear children, what can Mummy do for you?" 

Without missing a beat they responded and I knew I'd been had. 

"Oh Mommy Dearest, we have no ice cream. Whatever shall we do?" 

We all started laughing. 

"And let me guess... you want me to go get it?" 

They both nodded and grinned from ear to ear. 

"Why doesn't your father go?" I asked with a sly smile. 

"He said you'd go," Ryan said smiling. "He said you'd do it because you love us so much more than he does." 

"Oh he did, did he?" I said glancing over at David. My lover couldn't keep from smiling as he tried to avoid my gaze. 

"Well, maybe I can change his mind," I said with an evil grin. 

"No!" both children yelled at the same time. 

Startled, I looked at my children. 

"You do that," Ryan groaned, "and we won't get any ice cream until later tonight!" 

I stared at him with my most innocent look. Batting my eyes, I tried to keep from grinning. 

Ryan rolled his eyes while Shelly looked embarrassed. 

"Come on Mom," he said giving me that teenager 'are you serious' look. "Just wiggle in front of him or worse, bend over, and he'll do whatever you want him to do!" 

"I mean OMG, Mom!" Shelly chimed in. "He can barely take his eyes off you at home but when you wear that bikini he almost drools!" 

We all three looked over at David. He just smiled and shrugged. 

"Guilty as charged," he said, waggling his eyebrows at me. 

I stood up and stretched slowly, ignoring the sounds coming from my children. I strutted over to David making sure his eyes never left me. 

Our sex life had changed during this last year. The animal ferocity of hot sex had replaced our long, slow sessions of making love. Not that I was complaining... well most of the time. The time restraints and the stresses of work and family life had dictated those changes. Our passion was at a level that rivaled our honeymoon, although at the expense of our gentle lovemaking. Even after all these years, looking into his eyes would give my stomach butterflies and make me want to pounce on him! 

My husband stood 6'2, had blond hair, and cool gray eyes. He took decent care of himself but was carrying an extra 25 pounds since I first saw him playing basketball at the University of Texas at Arlington. Of course, with his once lean, athletic build, he was able to carry the extra weight well. I did miss his six-pack though. I wondered what it would take to get him to lose the added weight. Knowing the answer, I chuckled to myself. 

We met and started dating at UTA, but neither of us was ready to settle down and we ended up going our separate ways. Two years later, we found each other again and since then we've been inseparable. 

I smiled up at him as he devoured me with his eyes. Even with the extra weight, buddy, you are a damn handsome man. 

I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a kiss I knew would curl his toes. Again, I ignored the kids' complaints. 

"And what would my big, strong husband like for dessert tonight?" I whispered in my most seductive voice. 

I felt his hands as they gently stroked my back until one hand began its slow migration southward. He softly caressed my thinly clad butt, finally cupping one cheek and pressing me into his chest. Oh gawd I love that! I felt myself getting warm in places the sun rarely touched and I could feel the answer to my question growing beneath his swimming trunks, pressing against my stomach. 

"Why don't you two get a room?" Ryan blurted out shaking his head and trying to hide his smile. 

"Already got a whole trailer," his father responded, grinning. "So, where are you and your sister going to sleep tonight?" 

"Da-ad," Shelly whined. 

David and I started laughing. 

"All right," I conceded. "I'm going. Besides I think Starbucks maybe calling me. And you buster..." 

I winked at David. 

"You need to take another dip in the lake and cool off!" 

He grinned wolfishly as he watched me walk back into the house. I gave him a little swish to make sure he was thinking about me while I was gone. 

**** 

I decided to stop and pick up the ice cream before I drove the extra mile to the Starbucks. It was housed in the Four Seasons Resort, just up the road but the extra time would allow the ice cream to melt a little before I got back home. Besides it's not like I'm addicted to Starbucks, I laughed to myself. 

I stepped into the Lakeshore Stop and Go and felt the blast of cool air. The change from the heat outside to the air-conditioned store made me shiver and I was glad I'd changed into shorts and a t-shirt. 

Charlie and Emma Bradshaw ran the little convenience store and diner that catered to the area residents that lived on the east side of the lake. Although considered 'quaint' by most of the wealthy residents who lived farther up north on the lakeshore, it benefited heavily from the state park that made up the west side of the lake. 

As I walked over to the store freezer, I noticed Charlie watching me from behind the counter. I was pretty well covered up and Charlie was in his mid-sixties so I was a little surprised with his constant gaze. Added to that, I knew Charlie was head-over-heels in love with his wife so his staring made me a little wary. 

I picked up a half-gallon of Rocky Road and a half-gallon of Butter Pecan and made my way to the counter. The kids would be thrilled I'd chosen their favorites. I had to smile to myself as I thought of their faces, if only they knew some of the uses I'd planned for it later with David. 

When I got up to the counter, Charlie smiled at me. A halo of silver hair outlined his balding head and his deep blue eyes danced. 

"Hi Sarah, how are you and the family doing?" he asked. 

"We're doing great. But how are you doing? This is the first I've seen you since we got up here. Emma said you'd been sick." 

He nodded and grinned. "Yep, damn summer colds! Older I get the harder it is to beat them. But other than that I'm just getting old and cranky!" 

I chuckled. Charlie Bradshaw seemed to have a perpetual smile on his face. No one ever used the word 'cranky' to describe him. But even with that boyish grin and pleasant personality, his next words sent my world into a tailspin. 

"Boy, Emma and I were surprised to hear you sold your place to the Webbers. Although they said they'd worked out a deal with David to rent your place...well, I guess it's now their place, 

to your family for the couple weeks you are up here each summer." 

It took me a second to comprehend what he'd said. Fortunately, Charlie misread my stunned look as something else. 

"Of course Emma is ecstatic. She and Alice have become good friends. Still, I'd always thought you and David were going to build some kind of retirement place there." 

"Well, plans change," I said trying to cover my surprise. "I'm glad you're feeling better Charlie. If I don't get to see her before we leave, please tell Emma goodbye." 

I hurried to my SUV and loaded the ice cream. I got in and tried to gather my thoughts. Several years ago, David was given this land by his grandmother, shortly after his grandfather died. We had rented this place to a retired couple named Don and Alice Webber for the last few years. One month out of the summer, they would go visit their grandchildren and we would move in for a short time. It had worked out very well. 

Within a few minutes I was pulling in next to our trailer... their trailer! I stifled a sob. There had to be a good reason why David would sell this place and an even better reason why he hadn't talked to me about it. 

The kids had heard me drive up and were waiting for me, well, more like waiting for their ice cream. They took the packages and raced into the trailer. I looked at David. Whatever expression I had on my face told him something was wrong and I watched his face change. His smile never left but he seemed to get... colder. 

As we went to join the kids I spoke to him in a hushed tone. 

"We need to talk when the kids are asleep." 

He nodded. His expression didn't change but he had a concerned look in his eyes. 

"I suspected as much. You forgot your daily dose of Starbucks." 

I couldn't wait for the children to go to bed so after our ice cream, David and I went for a walk. The kids didn't mind since they were engrossed in some super hero movie. 

Once outside, he tried to take my hand but I instinctively pulled it away. I saw a flash of pain in his eyes that made me question if I was overreacting. 

"I'm sorry, David. I'm just upset." 

"About what sweetheart?" 

"I just heard you sold this place." 

He frowned. 

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you about it until later." 

"What?" I shouted. 

"Shhh, Sarah. The entire lake doesn't need to know our business," he said calmly. 

"What were you thinking? We had such plans and dreams for this place! This was where we were going to retire." 

"I know, honey, but I had to. This past year has been bad for us financially. Really bad. I had to sell the place in order to begin recouping some of our losses." 

I was in shock. I stopped walking and stared at him. David had always handled our finances and up until now, we were doing more than just pretty well. With his investments and consulting and my promotion, we were pulling in a very healthy six-figure income, and were putting away money left and right! David had even talked about us possibly retiring in five to ten years. I'd gently slowed that talk down since my career was on the fast track. 

"Why didn't you tell me? Dammit David, this is serious!" 

"I know," he said, his voice hushed. "It is serious but I'm hoping to make a major rebound by the end of the final quarter." 

We walked silently for about an hour before we returned to the trailer. Just as I was reaching for the door, he spoke to me in a hushed calm voice. 

"Sarah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you and the kids down. I didn't tell you earlier because I didn't want to worry you." 

"David, I don't know what to think right now. I'm confused, angry, and hurt. I feel betrayed. You didn't confide in me about our financial situation and you didn't talk to me before selling our dream house." 

He nodded and looked away. 

"I understand," he whispered. 

**** 

The last days we'd spent at the lake had been difficult. I was cool to my husband as I worked out my disappointment. Needless to say, the ice cream never made it to our bedroom. 

The drive back home to Dallas was fairly quiet as well. David said all the things one would expect from someone who's apologetic but he seemed... I don't know... guarded. I was struggling to figure out what to do when I realized I needed to look at our finances to see how big of a mess we were in. 

The kids had unpacked and had gone to their rooms and David had gone to his study. Now I was sitting alone in front of our computer, scanning over our accounts. What I found shocked me. David had lost or committed nearly everything we had! I'm talking several hundred thousand dollars gone or legally wrapped up! 

From what I could tell, with what we both had coming in monthly, we'd be able to survive without losing the house but that was about it. Besides the financial uncertainty, I was scared what was happening in my marriage. David was excellent at what he did and he certainly would've never let things get this bad without telling me. I'm not stupid I knew there was something behind this. But as I thought about it, the possibilities I was coming up with were more and more upsetting.  

Now I had to look at my loving husband of fifteen years through different eyes... suspicious eyes. He was obviously hiding something, but what? I needed some professional advice. 

After a sleepless night, I contacted our attorney first thing that morning and set up an appointment. Our meeting wasn't for a couple of days, so I took my findings by his office that morning before I went to work. 

During the next two days, I watched David closely. He seemed to be the same caring father and husband he'd always been. He was giving me a wide space to work through all this but I still noticed a distant look in his eyes. 

**** 

I sat in the overstuffed chair looking around at Jeffery Dawson's plush office. Jeffery had been our lawyer for over a decade and it pained me to realize we'd helped finance the gaudy decor. 

He studied the stack of papers in front of him before he looked up at me with a small frown. 

"Sarah," he said calmly. "I'm not sure what to say. David's investments certainly look suspicious but they all appear legal. I'm surprised, no stunned would be more like it, to see he has lost so much of your family's savings. Sarah, you realize David handles my investments too, right?" 

"No Jeffery, I'd forgotten that," I said shaking my head. 

"Well, I checked on my investments and most are doing very well. So, that makes your situation even more suspicious." 

He cleared his throat and looked at me. I thought I noticed apprehension in his voice. 

"Look Sarah, I don't know how to ask this gently. Is your marriage all right? I've known you both for over twelve years and I've never known you two as anything but having a strong marriage, but I need to ask." 

I sat there silently, feeling myself begin to tremble. I wasn't sure I could breathe. 

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "But the only time I've ever seen something like this is when a spouse is hiding money just before a divorce. So, I have to ask again. Can you think of any reason David might be preparing for a divorce?" 

I almost threw up right there in his office. 

**** 

I fought to control my breathing and brushed away a stray tear as I pulled onto the Interstate. It'd been awkward but I'd managed to get out of Jeffery Dawson's office without falling to pieces. I gathered myself as I prepared for the task at hand. I pulled out my cell and made the call I'd dreaded making for the past forty-four months. 

"Mark?" I said bracing myself. 

Mark Hughes, my boss, answered in his typical smooth bass voice. 

"Sarah Jennings, to what do I owe the honor? Thinking about me, were you?" he chuckled. 

"Yeah," I snorted. "Mark, I think David knows." 

There was dead silence on the other line. Finally, he replied using his highly educated, grand usage of the English language. 

"Shit." 

"Yeah, shit." 

"Are you sure?" 

"No, but it looks like it." 

"Surely, he can't have any proof. It's been nearly four years!" 

"I don't know what he does or doesn't know but I suspect I'll find out later tonight. I have to confront him about some things and I'm afraid our affair may be the reason behind them." 

"Sarah, I don't need to tell you what's at stake." 

"No... no you don't," I whispered as my chest tightened. 

"David could cause us a lot of problems, probably even our jobs. Dammit!" he shouted. "My last alimony check is due next month. After that, I'm completely done with that bloodsucking bitch of an ex-wife! Sarah, I don't need this. I'm just now starting to see light at the end of the tunnel." 


Brownwood: Hedge Funds Ch. 01



"Well, I'm sorry for your inconvenience," I snapped sarcastically. "While, you're worried about your damn pocketbook, my marriage could be falling apart!" 

I hung up and sighed deeply. I started going through possible scenarios that could help me save my marriage. 

So how did I end up here, especially if I loved my husband as much as I say I do? I've been asking myself that for the past four years. The answer is... I don't know. Well, I do but I'm disgusted with the answer. 

I guess the truth is I was an arrogant silly fool who stupidly thought this world 'owed' her. Simply put... I was a selfish bitch. I allowed myself to be seduced by a successful career and a handsome supervisor. Yes, our marriage was going through a rocky time but in the end I simply betrayed the man I claimed to love. 

Our marital problems started seven years ago when Shelly started school. I'd taken several years off from my engineering career to raise our children. It's a decision I've never regretted. Then with no more children at home it was time to go back to work. 

I signed on as a design engineer with a large corporation here in Dallas. My manager was Mark. He was about eight years older than me but he could've easily passed for a much younger man. Mark Hughes was very handsome, tall with broad shoulders, and had a very distinguished look about him. Unfortunately, he knew it and used it since he had an eye for the ladies. 

We ended up working extremely well together and soon we were moving up the company ranks as a team. When Mark became Director of Design, I became the manager. Then about two-and-a-half-years ago, he became VP of Engineering and I became the Director of Design. Unfortunately, our professional success as a team led us to test the personal relationship waters as well. 

I'd met his wife several times over the three years before our affair started. I'd been shocked to see pictures of her from early in their marriage. She'd been quite beautiful. But life had been unkind to her and now she was about a hundred pounds overweight, didn't dress well, and was extremely unhappy. It showed. 

Mark flirted with me and most of the women in the department but once I became manager the flirting became much more personal. It was at that time we began going to Chicago for corporate training. 

The first trip I staved off his advances but was extremely flattered. Yes, I said flattered. Being pursued by an attractive, successful man who respects you, at least professionally, and is willing to share the professional glory can be a huge stroke to a woman's ego. To say I was a little starved for that after spending the past eight years as a stay-at-home mother and housewife would've been an understatement. 

I know it might sound like an excuse and that I'm trying to justify what happened... I can't. These are, however, some of the things that contributed to my failure. 

Much to my regret and shame, I fell on our next trip to Chicago. That started a brief affair I'll regret the rest of my life. 

There's really not much to say regarding my affair. It lasted about four weeks. The sex David and I have is good, sometimes even great. It's really the making love with him that's incredible. With Mark, there was no love but I won't lie... the sex was amazing! Mark is very well hung and wonderfully skilled in bed. The only drawback was he was a 'one and done' kind of guy. But oh my gawd... that one! 

That first week in Chicago, I spent most of my nights in his hotel room. We also got together several times when we got back to Dallas. It was then I pulled my head out of my ass and broke off the sordid affair. 

I was crushed with guilt when I finally came to my senses. I didn't know how I could've been so stupid as to jeopardize what I had for just the thrill of an hour or so of sex. 

I knew I couldn't tell David. Was this selfish? Yes, but it was also because I loved him. I couldn't bear to see the hurt and pain my confession would've brought him. There was also a chance he'd leave me and split up our family. I couldn't do that to my children since I was the one who had already jeopardized our family. In the end, I decided to take my secret to the grave. 

I didn't change jobs for several reasons. The first was my husband would've suspected something immediately. I'd spent the last year telling him how much I loved my job. Another reason was the success I was already having and finally it was a pride thing. It was a test for myself to make sure something like that would never happen again. 

I knew my boss would look at me differently now. You can't share yourself that intimately with someone and not expect the relationship to change. You can't be around someone you've had sex with and not remember the smells, the sounds, and the sexual excitement. You have to be strong enough to control it. And that's what I did. 

I've spent the past four years trying to make up for my foolishness and be the best wife David could ever ask for. I've taken every opportunity to show him how much I love him and how much he means to me. I've given myself sexually to him in ways I'd never done before. Naturally, I've had to be careful because I didn't want him to suspect where some of those things had come from. Even with the struggles over the past eighteen months, I think I've done a good job taking care of my husband. 

Now I don't know what's changed, but something has. I fear he knows or at least suspects something about my affair. Regardless, I have to talk to him and find out. 

**** 

I pulled my black SUV up into my driveway and sat for a moment collecting my thoughts. Staring at our home I realized it was a McMansion. What was once a fortress that protected our family was about to change into a prison or worse... a mausoleum. 

That night after the children had gone to bed, I got up the nerve to confront David. 

"David we need to talk," I said quietly knowing that particular phrase tends to put every husband on defense. 

"Sure sweetheart. What about?" 

"I went to see Jeffrey Dawson today. I also took our financial records with me to show him." 

His smile faded as he stared at me. 

"A little drastic, don't you think?" he said calmly. 

"Honestly, I don't know what to think," I said, my voice starting to falter. 

"Well, all you had to do was ask me. I would've told you," he paused for a moment then shoved the dagger into my heart. "I mean it's not like we hide things from each other, right?" 

"Honey..." I struggled to say. "Most of our savings are gone. Other than our retirement packages and the kids' trusts, nearly all of our other money is gone." 

He grimaced as he nodded his head slowly. 

"Yeah, I said it had been a bad year..." 

"A bad year?" I yelled. "That's more than just a bad year!" 

"But Sarah," his voice changed and became colder. "We've gone through hard times before and survived. Remember four years ago? We went through a real rough patch about the time you became a manager but together...we made it through! It took several months but we did it and soon we were doing better than ever, right sweetheart?" 

My heart sank as I realized the love of my life was playing with me. He was waiting for me to address the elephant in the room. I fought back my tears and tried to pick my next words carefully. 

"David," I said in a hushed voice. "I'm sorry." 

"No, sweetheart," he said coldly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I failed you. I really thought those things I'd invested in would someday turn out to be very valuable... I guess I was wrong." 

I felt a tear slip out of my eye and begin to slowly roll down my cheek. I cleared my throat and spoke in as calm of a voice as I could muster. 

"Honey, I'm sorry for all of the tension we've had around us this past year-and-a-half. I know I've let things come in the way of spending more time with you and the kids. But... I... I need to ask you something important." 

His eyes darkened as he stared at me. 

"Are you preparing to divorce me?" 

"Why would you ask that?" he asked in a flat voice. 

"Because of what's happened to our savings. It looks like you're hiding money and that's what someone would do if he were about to get a divorce." 

He stared at me, frustration written across his face. His eyes narrowed as his brow furrowed and I could see his jaw tighten as he struggled to speak. 

"Are you asking me this because of the money or because of the difficult time we're having right now?" he asked coldly. "Come on, Sarah. You know me better than that. It would take one hell of a reason for me to ever consider divorcing you and breaking up this family! Can you think of a single reason why I would want to divorce my loving wife?" 

I couldn't take it any longer. I sat on our bed and fought back the tears. It was a losing battle. 

"Because... because of a mistake I made years ago," I finally whispered. 

David left the room and went to his study. He brought back a box of tissue and a manila folder. After handing me a tissue, he removed several photos from the folder and began tossing them, one at a time, onto our bed. 

"Would this be the mistake you're talking about?" he asked, his voice cold and stern. 

My heart stopped when I recognized the photos. They were of me having sex with Mark in Chicago. I curled up into a ball in the middle of our bed. 

"No... no... please no," was all I could manage to say as I felt my world begin to crumble. 

David began to remove some of his things from our bedroom and all I could do was stare at him as tears ran down my cheeks. 

"I'll be moving into one of the guest rooms until we can sort out this marriage. In the morning, I'll call my parents and see if the kids can go stay with them. They were going to spend part of the summer with them anyway so this'll just be a couple weeks earlier than expected." 

With that, he left our bedroom and shut the door. I was alone, alone in my shattered little world. 

**** 

David stared at the short, balding, rotund man sitting in front of him. I could tell by his body language he was still processing all the things he'd heard over our last two sessions. Our counselor, Raymond James, repeated his question to him. 

"Mr. Jennings?" he asked calmly. "You've been very quiet since our last session. What are your thoughts about what Sarah has said?" 

I held my breath. I'd tried to be honest and open about my affair in the last session. I didn't go into great detail but I hadn't shied away from any of the embarrassing facts. I'd done that because I was tired of living with the deception but also because I didn't know exactly what David knew. 

Although I'd tried to soften it, the facts were simple and painful. I'd had an affair with my boss. He was more skilled and better endowed than my husband. The physical sex with Mark had been better than with David. I'd lied to my spouse for years by not telling him and hoping he'd never find out. It was those 'facts' I knew he was struggling with right now. 

I could see each word, each emotion stab into his heart and mind. I sat and watched as the man I loved was being eaten alive from the inside. The anger, hurt, and doubts that my betrayal had caused, and the pain of hearing me admit I'd lied to him for years where like poison to my once strong husband. 

I'd pled my case to him several times during the past two weeks. But today, it was as organized and straightforward as I could make it. I fought with everything I had to present it with as little emotion as possible. 

"Well," David began, choosing his words carefully. "I know she regrets her affair and she's sorry it ever happened. But then, I'm sorry it ever happened too. I guess that makes us both... sorry. 

"I also realize it happened during a bad time in our marriage, a time when she was weak," he paused gathering his thoughts. 

"But?" Raymond asked softly. 

"It was a hard time for both of us... but I didn't seek comfort in someone else's bed. While I was busting my ass for her and our family, she was taking a little break from our marriage. I was the clueless, faithful husband while my wife was playing around with her boss' big dick! 

"Then..." he paused struggling to keep control. "Then when she finally feels guilty enough about it, she breaks it off. Does she tell her husband? Oh no! He might get mad and make her do something she didn't want to do like quit her job! So of course, she put in for a transfer so she wouldn't have to see her lover every day, right? Oh hell no! She lies to the one she says she loves and tries to make it up to him. So what's her punishment? She has to bear her guilt in silence. That's it? You must be joking!" 

I watched as he clenched his jaw tightly, grinding his teeth. His anger was so intense I could feel it. I wanted to say something, anything that would take his pain away but there was nothing I could say or do. The love of my life was in agony and I'd caused it. 

Slowly he began to control his breathing. His flushed face began to return to normal even as he glared at me. 

"Well Sarah," he sneered. "Did that about sum up the bullshit I've been listening to for the past week?" 

"David," Mr. James interceded. "Remember the rules. Talk to me if you get angry, not to Sarah. There's no arguing or name calling, only talking." 

Raymond's distraction allowed me to find my voice. 

"Honey, you're right in most of what you said. I acted horribly and betrayed both you and our family. But I do love you and I know I hurt you. I would do anything to take back what I did but I can't. All I can do now is try to show you how much I really do love you. 

"Since I've fallen and had that affair, I've tried to be the best wife I could be. I wanted to be able to prove that I could be faithful again and show you I could begin to regain our trust. 

"I've also tried to be the best lover you could ever ask for. I haven't denied you anything and have worked to give myself totally to you, even in ways I hadn't before." 

He peered at me with his cold gray eyes. 

"You wanted to show me I could trust you by lying to me? Really? Sarah, surely you can't be that stupid. 

"So you were faithful for the past four years, what do you want, a medal?" he sneered. "I was faithful longer and what did it get me? All I got was shit on by my supposedly loving wife!" 

"Oh gawd David," I said softly my voice starting to break. "I'm so sorry." 

"As for giving yourself to me..." he said grimacing as if he was in pain. "Why did it take you having to feel guilty before you would do those things with me? Why wasn't it out of that love for me you claim to have? Why did you give it to him before you offered it to me? 

"How can you possibly know how I feel? Until your love is betrayed, you'll have no idea the pain you've inflicted." 

I sat silently, fighting back the tears, knowing his anger was justified. I'd done all those things. I knew there wasn't anything I could say that would take back any part of my betrayal. All I could do was allow him to vent his anger and wonder how long it'd been building. I knew he couldn't have known for very long since his anger was still so intense. I also couldn't imagine him not divorcing me or at least confronting me as soon as he found out about it. 

Almost as if he could read my mind, he continued. 

"Sixteen months ago, Rachel Hughes showed me the slut my wife had become for her boss." 

I heard myself gasp at hearing him refer to me that way. David had never spoken of me in any other way than with love and respect. I guess I had my first real epiphany regarding the future of our marriage. I knew the words he said were true but they still hurt. Then I realized he'd been dealing with this for over a year! 

"But why... why didn't you..." I stammered. 

"Why didn't I confront you then? Several reasons actually. I didn't know if you loved him and if you were planning to divorce me. I didn't know if I still loved you. After the initial hurt and anger, I needed to figure out what was best for the kids and me. 

"However, the main reason was that although Rachel showed me the proof, she wouldn't give it to me until she'd protected herself. She was afraid what I might do with it." 

"The divorce settlement," I whispered. 

He nodded, as Mr. James looked at us confused. 

"Rachel destroyed Mark in the divorce," David explained. "She had proof of several of his other affairs and cleaned him out financially. He agreed to a huge alimony settlement for two years. I guess he figured being poor for two years was worth getting out of their marriage. So, Rachel needed to protect her alimony check. The last check is due soon so I wasn't surprised when she sent me the actual proof earlier this month. As of now, I doubt she cares what happens to her ex-husband." 

"And what do you plan to do to this man?" Raymond asked cautiously. 

"Hurt him as much as I can, of course. A lot depends on what happens to my marriage but I'm definitely going to destroy his career. Basically, I plan to kick him while he's down by stealing whatever hope of his I'm able to." 

"No physical revenge?" 

David ignored his question and continued. 

"I've spent the last year trying to determine what I wanted and what was best for my family. I decided a divorce wasn't the right choice, at least for now." 

"Then why are you hiding money?" Raymond asked. 

"I haven't hidden any funds," David smiled. "I've unfortunately had a run of bad investments." 

"Bullshit!" I blurted out surprising everyone including myself. "You're better than that, David." 

He never took his eyes off Raymond. "Contrary to how professionally talented my loving wife believes I am, our financial records show otherwise." 

"If you had decided not to divorce me," I said quietly, trying to calm myself, "then those decisions should've been made by us together." 

"Together?" he sneered. I felt my blood run cold. "I'm sorry sweetheart, but I thought the rules had changed." 

I stared at him confused. 

"When I found out about your affair with that bastard," he answered sarcastically, "I was positive the rules had changed. I certainly wasn't asked if that son-of-a-bitch should screw you. I'm even more positive you didn't question me whether or not you should lie to me or let me know I was a cuckold. So yeah... I thought the rules had changed and since we weren't asking each other about important things, I made some decisions for us on my own." 

"And these bad investments?" Raymond asked, studying him carefully. 

"Mr. James, my world is finances. The best way I can describe my actions is by using the terms of my trade. Are you familiar with the term Hedge Funds?" 

Raymond nodded as David continued. 

"That term originally described secondary investments someone would use to try to protect themselves in case their primary investment failed. Same thing as when someone 'hedges their bet.' What's happened with our finances could be considered exactly that, protection in case this marriage ends in divorce." 

"But," I said, my voice trembling. "I don't want a divorce. You said you knew that." 

He paused and then spoke very slowly. 

"Yes, but until everything is fully confronted and all the facts exposed, divorce is still a possibility." 

"David, I've tried..." 

"No," he growled. "No... You've only been open about your affair with that asshole after it was exposed! Don't try to make this into something it's not... something like you being faithful or honest with me. You've lied to me for the last four years. These past two weeks haven't even begun to restore my trust in you." 

He glared at me before he turned towards Raymond. 

"Raymond, you asked me earlier about me seeking physical revenge. The answer is simple... I'm not a violent man. While I've entertained those thoughts, in the end it was my loving wife who spread her legs for him. It was her choice. She could've and should've continued to say 'no' but she didn't. She got infatuated with the excitement of her affair and the thrill of his 'huge' cock." 




Brownwood: Hedge Funds Ch. 01



"It wasn't like that," I pleaded. "Even though it was exciting at first, it was never better than what I have with you. I forgot for a moment what was most important to me." 

"You can't be that stupid," he snorted. 

"If you asked our children what was the most fun and exciting thing they did last summer we both know what their answers would be. It would be their trips to Six Flags! There's no way our little pool in the backyard or even our trips to Crystal Lake could ever compete with the excitement of an amusement park. 

"That's what your affair with that piece of shit was, a trip to an amusement park. The excitement of doing something illicit, the thrill of having sex with someone besides your spouse, and you've made it very clear he was bigger and better than I am. All those things made your little affair a hell of a lot more memorable than anything you were getting at home, didn't it dear? 

"You say you know you've hurt me but there's really no way you can know that kind of pain. You've no idea what it's like to lay there night after night wondering why you weren't enough for your spouse. Thinking, if you'd known she was dissatisfied, you would've tried anything to make it better and more exciting. There's no way to describe the empty loneliness of holding the one you love and knowing she's lying to you. Each time she declares her love, it's poisoned by her secrets. 

"Sarah, I'll never be able to compete physically or emotionally with your little affair. It'll be something you'll always remember. To think otherwise is just plain denial. There's only one way someone could ever know the hell somebody goes through when their spouse cheats on them and that's to experience it themselves. 

"Honey," I whispered, my heart in my throat. "You're not suggesting..." 

"David," Mr. James intervened. "Are you saying you intend to have an affair yourself?" 

I felt the blood run out of my face at the thought of my husband with another woman. Right after I'd ended my affair I'd tried to imagine him cheating on me. I tried to imagine the pain of my betrayal through his eyes. The guilt had nearly overwhelmed me. Now I was facing the cold reality he was considering doing just that. 

"Please David," I pleaded through my tears. "I can't do it. I know it's not fair, that I'm being hypocritical but I couldn't take the thought of you planning to have an affair. Please don't ask me to do that!" 

He stared at me for several seconds. Finally he sighed deeply. 

"Sarah, at home on our computer there are two encrypted files, named Alpha and Omega. Included in those files are the things Rachel sent to me. There are things in there that are hard to watch, at least they were for me, but I believe you need to see it too. You need to see it if for no other reason than to make sure there aren't any more secrets between us. 

"I'm scheduled to fly out to Phoenix later this afternoon for a few days. I need to wrap up that project so I won't be able to talk much while I'm there. I'll try to call you tomorrow night." 

He looked over at me and spoke as he stood up and prepared to leave the room. 

"The password you'll need," he said sadly, "is 'Chicago'." 

My heart sank. I watched helplessly as my husband walked out the door. 

****



Brownwood: Hedge Funds Ch. 02



Author's Note: Thanks again to both my volunteer editors, anonymous and findingmyvoice. Ladies, I'm in your debt. Again, any mistakes you find are mine. You know the reason, just look for my claw marks. {grins bearing tusks}

****

I sat and stared at our home computer. My husband had left earlier that afternoon to visit his client in Phoenix for a few days. He'd given me the password for the two encrypted files before he'd left. They contained the evidence of my affair.

It was only a laptop but it might as well have been a basket with a cobra inside. I couldn't make myself touch it. Finally, I clicked on the encrypted file named 'Alpha' and typed in the password. It took several minutes to restore but soon a single folder sat in the center of my screen. It was labeled 'Chicago.'

I tried the 'Omega' file as well but the password didn't work. Apparently, David didn't want me looking at that one yet. I didn't know what his game was but I felt I didn't have any choice but to see it through.

A double-click on 'Chicago' and I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit-hole as my worst fears were realized.

Rachel Hughes had been thorough and the overwhelming evidence of my affair was terrifying. There were detailed reports from private investigators. The reports showed Mark and I were being watched even before our affair had started. There were copies of emails, recorded phone conversations, receipts, and even two videos from that week in Chicago. And the pictures... oh gawd... the pictures. There were pictures of Mark and I having sex in Chicago and several other times at the office. Visual evidence I'd done things with Mark that I hadn't done with David until after the affair. My guilt threatened to overwhelm me as I fought to breathe.

I went through all the evidence like a coroner doing an autopsy. I needed to know exactly what my husband had seen. The more I saw, the less hope I had for my marriage. I was ashamed and horrified at the things I'd said and done. The videos and phone conversations were full of harsh comments and slights towards my marriage. I never said anything bad about David but I'd sung praise upon praise about Mark's prowess in bed.

I sat stunned for hours as I tried to comprehend how David could still be with me after seeing and hearing all of that. I broke down and called him even though I knew he wouldn't answer. I left messages... yes messages... several messages over the next 24 hours. In some I cried and pleaded for forgiveness, in others I stoically begged him not to leave me. Truth be told, I was an emotional basket case.

I called Mark and told him the extent of David's evidence and where it had come from. He was livid. I'd like to say I cared but by then I didn't. Knowing I wasn't the only one having a horrible weekend was actually a little comforting. 

David called late Friday night.

"Hello, David?"

"Sarah," he replied in a calm dead voice.

"Honey, I... I'm so sorry..." I whispered struggling to contain my emotions.

"I know. I believe you but it may not make a difference."

I felt my heart breaking.

"Please, David..." I begged.

"Sarah, you don't understand, there's more. For the file called 'Omega,' the password is 'Phoenix.' Just like the password suggests, we'll see if we can rise from the ashes. You'll need to see what's in it before you make any promises. I won't be home till Sunday evening. Whether I stay or not will be up to you. 

"We'll discuss everything on Monday when we meet with Mr. James. Sarah, please remember I love you, even with all this." 

David disconnected and I went back over to our computer. I typed in the password and soon I was looking at a folder labeled 'Hedge Funds.'

It took me several minutes, but I worked up the nerve to click on the folder. Inside were three subfolders. Each named after a city; Atlanta, Dallas, and Phoenix.

ATLANTA 

I began to realize the extent of David's revenge when I looked in this folder. The tears I'd shed earlier, out of shame, were quickly replaced with those of sorrow and frustration. 

Her name was Victoria and she had to be in her mid-to-late forties. She was still beautiful and had obviously enhanced her trim figure with breast implants. I couldn't tell if she was a brunette or a redhead since she'd shaved. So how did I know that? There were pictures and videos. Lots of pictures and videos! 

There in front of me was the graphic evidence of David's affair. So how did I handle the love of my life's infidelity? Simple, I threw-up. I didn't even make it to the bathroom.

After cleaning up my mess, I lay on our bed, screamed into my pillow, and let the emotional dam burst. I let all the guilt, shame, fear, despair, and anger pour out as I cried myself to sleep. I woke a few hours later still exhausted, took our laptop to a different room, and re-examined the evidence.

The emails told the real story. He had met her online over a year ago. Once they'd established an online relationship, he'd found a client in Atlanta. Now he was writing his trips off as business travel.

I was taken aback at how sexually aggressive she was. She gave new meaning to the word 'cougar.' She had no inhibitions when it came to sex and it was very obvious she was experienced... very experienced. I wouldn't be surprised if the slut had a donkey tied up next to her bed at night. 

From the emails it appeared David had ended the relationship a month ago. About the same time he'd received his proof from Rachel.

Numb and exhausted I went to the next folder. 

DALLAS

My somber mood changed when I opened it. With a single click, my frustration turned to rage and I threw my coffee cup against the wall. Damn, another mess to clean up.

The woman's name was Leigh and she couldn't have been more than 22 years-old. She had two young children and was obviously using my husband as a 'sugar daddy.' Her baby-daddy was in jail for drugs and David had been paying her rent with some of the money he'd 'lost' in bad investments. 

She was a tall, attractive, willowy girl with long blonde hair and sported a multitude of tattoos and piercings. Not the type of girl I would've thought David would go for since she looked like she might've eaten him alive. Unfortunately, the videos showed she'd done just that... literally. I think she'd actually tried to kill him with sex!

The pictures were graphic and she was so young. I found it hard to breathe and realized I was shaking as I sat back. I didn't know how my marriage could survive this.

This affair had started right after David had found out about Mark and it had lasted over a year. They broke it off after she'd found someone she'd thought she might be in love with. It had ended a couple of months ago.

I called David, again he didn't answer. The message I left this time was very different from the earlier ones. While those had a sense of remorse and regret, this one didn't.

I believe I threatened to cut off his balls and shove them where that little slut would have a hard time finding them. I'm sure I also commented on his need to buy a whore that young. When I was through, my heart was pounding, my body was trembling, and I was probably frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog.

Did it make me feel better? Yeah, a little bit. Did it change anything? No, not a damn thing!

Exhausted, I opened the final folder.

PHOENIX 

I wasn't sure what to expect but anything short of David having a male lover or marrying a farm animal wouldn't have surprised me. What was inside was worse.

Her name was Anna Marie and she was a beautiful, well-endowed, Hispanic woman in her early thirties. She was at least 30 pounds overweight, but her voluptuous curves hid most of it. Her most striking feature, beside her obvious 'endowments,' was her beautiful face that was silhouetted with curly, long black hair. Her warm, brown eyes were set off by a genuinely contagious smile.

I instantly both liked and hated her.

David had met her online as well. She had three school-aged kids and her husband had abandoned them several years earlier. They'd had a rough time of it, but things were going much better now that David had become involved.

I looked for risqué pictures and videos but found very little. There were some pictures of her in a bathing suit and of her with her kids. There were a few sexy 'selfies' she'd taken in her bathroom mirror that were pretty unflattering since they made her butt look even bigger than it was. There was also a webcam video of her doing an extremely amateurish striptease. Maybe she should've taken lessons from that Victoria bitch.

I read through their emails and things took on a different light. Unlike Victoria, David hadn't found a client in Phoenix to visit. Anna Marie was his client. Actually, he had invested heavily in her floral boutique so it could expand and damned if her business wasn't doing great.

From her emails, it was easy to tell she was falling in love with my husband. I could tell he cared for her as well even though he was keeping her at an arm's distance. Then I realized he was probably with her even as I was reading those messages.

I took a picture off the bedroom wall and studied it. It was a picture of the four of us at the lake several years ago. The smiles on my children's faces warmed my heart and the looks that David and I were giving each other were full of passion and joy. They could only be described as... love.

I knew I'd jeopardized my family for the thrill of an affair. I accepted my part in this mess. It was my weakness that put my marriage so close to the edge. David had pushed it to the brink and now it sat there teetering.

I curled up on our bed and hugged the picture as the tears began to fill my eyes again. I was amazed I had any more left but there they were. These weren't tears of anger or of sorrow... these were tears of fear. Now I realized how close my marriage was to ending and I was terrified. 

****

I wasn't sure how I'd greet him when he came home Sunday night. Would I throw my arms around him and hold him tightly, or throw myself at his feet and beg him to stay, or would I take a knife and cut the bastard's balls off? All three were definite possibilities.

The actual homecoming was anticlimactic. David came in, gave me a small hug and kissed me on the cheek. Then he asked the hard question.

"Am I staying here tonight?" he asked in a tired voice.

I silently nodded and he went upstairs to the guest bedroom. We hardly spoke that night or the next morning. We both chose to bury ourselves in our jobs before we met in counseling later that day.

****

We sat on Mr. James' couch and looked at each other. David briefly described the things he'd left for me to see. It'd taken him much longer to explain because I'd continually interrupted and sniped at him at every possible point. I admit it... I was hurt and mad as hell! Finally, Raymond asked me to leave the room so David could finish. I wanted to stay so I found a way to bridle my anger.

There was a blanket of silence in the room after he finished. Mr. James couldn't hide his disappointment.

"Mr. Jennings, you realize you broke your wedding vows too?"

"Of course," David replied. "I haven't missed the hypocrisy of me having a revenge affair. As a matter of fact, I welcome it."

"You welcome it?" Raymond asked surprised.

He nodded.

"When I had my affairs, I became just as much of a cheater as my wife. However, I felt it was necessary."

"Did it make you feel better using these women for your revenge?"

David snorted and stared at him.

"Each of those women knew exactly what they were doing. I was completely honest with them before each affair began. Hopefully, each of them walked away from the affair better off than they entered it."

Raymond shook his head and sighed.

"Revenge rarely ever 'saves' a marriage. I'm sorry you chose that course of action. I understand why you felt justified in doing so but I'm extremely disappointed that you did. Revenge sex almost always destroys whatever little trust is still left in the marriage. By having those affairs, I'm afraid you've damaged your marriage even more."

"I disagree, Mr. James," David said flatly.

His response took both of us by surprise.

"What you and my wife seem to be missing is that I did this to save my marriage."

I was stunned. I sat there thinking that he couldn't have said what I'd thought he'd said!

"You had three affairs in an attempt to save your marriage?" Raymond asked in disbelief.

He nodded.

"David that's... that's just insane!" I cried out. 

He sat back and slowly shook his head. Then in a controlled voice, reminiscent of a parent trying to describe Physics to a child, he began.

"When I married Sarah I didn't get to pick and choose those things about her I'd accept and those I wouldn't. I didn't get to accept her mother but not her father. I didn't get to acknowledge this part of her past but not that. When I married her I had to say ''I do" to the entire package.

"When she broke her vows, she broke all of them. This isn't a buffet where you get to pick and choose which vows you keep and which vows you break, it's an all or nothing type of thing. 

"Her affair was like burning down half our bedroom. Could some of what was left be salvaged? Of course, but at what cost and to whom? It appeared, that in order to save that part of the house, it was going to cost a great deal. I was going to have to be a martyr, take the high road and swallow my anger, hurt, and pride. Even if I did this, the room would be scarred and the reconstruction would be long and painful. There was also no guarantee I could live with the anger of blaming her or that she would continue to live with the guilt now that it was exposed. In the end, I felt the cost was too great.

"So, alternatively I gutted the rest of the room. I purposely sank to her level. I decided to try and start over again on a somewhat more equal ground. How 'equal' is certainly up for debate.

"When I first found out about her affair, I was devastated. The fact Rachel wouldn't give me the proof I wanted ended up being a good thing. I was hurt and angry and if I would've confronted my wife then, this marriage would already be dead. As it happened, it took me a few days to verify Rachel's proof. During that time I re-evaluated my situation.

"It appeared her affair was over but that didn't stop me from having it verified, repeatedly. Some of those 'missing' funds went to pay for private investigators to watch them on their trips to Chicago and occasionally at her office. I've done that for the past year-and-a-half. And while my wife successfully stayed out of Hughes' bed, there were several others who didn't."

David stared at me for a moment and smirked.

"Your ex-lover doesn't pay very close attention to who he sleeps with on those Chicago trips, does he Sarah? Call me naïve, but it doesn't seem smart to sleep with a granddaughter of one of your board of directors during a business trip. That by itself may not be enough to inflict the magnitude of pain I'm planning for him, but together with what Rachel gave me, it should do."

David glared at me and smiled cruelly. My once gentle husband had grown hard and I realized my betrayal had helped make him that way.

"As far as my marriage... well I first needed to ask myself if I still loved my wife. The answer was 'yes' but it wasn't in the same way as before. It was now tainted. I'd never be able to trust her like I had before. I'd never openly share my heart, my thoughts, or my dreams with her like I once did. I knew those things might someday be restored but they'd only be a shadow of what they once were."

I tried to stifle a sob. David paused and glanced at me before he continued.

"So, I looked my situation. I determined it would be best if we stayed together, at least while the children are still living at the house.

"However, that put me in a dilemma. How could I stay married to someone who'd disrespected me so much as to cuckold me and then lie to me about it for years?"

"I did what I felt I needed to do for me to stay in this marriage. I also protected myself in case we ended up in divorce.

"I was crushed when I first saw those pictures and videos of you and Hughes. My confidence and self-esteem were destroyed. So the first order of business was to address that issue.

"I'd met and worked with Leigh for a couple of years. She works as a loan officer at one of the credit unions I deal with. I knew about her situation and had helped her in the past by loaning her a few dollars.

"I was terrified to talk to her about what I wanted to propose. She must've sensed something because she wasn't offended. She said she'd always found me cute and if she'd known my marriage was in trouble she might've made a play for me. I knew it was bullshit but did it ever feel good. There's something about having a young, pretty woman actually finding me still attractive that began healing some of the wounds made by my wife when she threw me away.

"I didn't throw you away, honey!" I pleaded.

"You sure as hell did, for about a month, didn't you, sweetheart?" he snapped back at me.

"I... but she's..." I stammered not daring to answer his question. "She's so young, David. She can't be more than 22."

"Don't let the piercings and tats fool you. She's actually 26 and very, very bright. Unfortunately for her, she has lousy taste in men." He paused and smiled. "I guess I'm also included in that group."

"I felt desired again because of Leigh. I know my wife had tried to make me feel that way after her affair but I couldn't trust her since she'd been lying for so long. My confidence grew after I started seeing Leigh. However, those weekend seminars were starting to take a toll on me. She's so energetic and spontaneous that a few times, I feared she might actually hurt me. 

"After Leigh, I looked at the next order of business. I knew my next objective, after watching those videos and listening to you brag about how damn great of a lover Hughes was.

"I wasn't going to be able to compete with his size so I needed to get better with my technique. I know some guys would've sought out 'professional' help but I shied away from that idea. That's when I met Tori.

"Before all this I'd always thought our sex life was good and very satisfying..."

"But it was!" I blurted out immediately knowing it was the wrong thing to say.

David's face darkened with rage.

"But not satisfying enough to keep his cock out of you, was it," he spat. "Not satisfying enough to help you remember your wedding vows was it my cheating whore of a wife?"

I recoiled deeper into the couch. 

"David," Mr. James interceded.

"I listened to her explanation of her affair, now she can give me the same common courtesy."

Raymond relented and nodded. "All right, but watch the names, please. Sarah, we need to hear him out."

I sat back and trembled at the whirlwind of emotions that were tearing my world apart. How dare he act indignant and self-righteous after what he'd done! My affair lasted only a month while he'd been cheating on me for a year! Mark and I had sex about a dozen times while he... he's had sex with those whores at least a hundred times! Where the hell does he get off, my mind screamed, acting like the wounded spouse? What he's done was so much worse than... what I...

I stopped and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes I realized both men were watching me. It was as if they could tell what I was thinking. My feelings must have been written plainly across my face.

Really girl? Are you really trying to compare which was worse? It was like trying to defend why a horse turd was less offensive than a cow pie when they're both shit! 




Brownwood: Hedge Funds Ch. 02



It was at that moment, I stopped trying to justify my feelings. My feelings were still there and just as intense as before but I understood the reason. I'd opened this door into hell and now the demons were loose in my marriage.

David took a deep breath and continued.

"Tori was beautiful, sexy and several years older. More importantly, she was very, very experienced. The fact that she loved sex and enjoyed teaching those who were willing to learn, well, that made her perfect.

"She was so full of life and wanted to show me things I'd only ever heard of. There were certain things I wasn't interested in but she never let it disappoint her. She just went on to something else. She'd continually surprise me. One time it was light bondage, another was the various uses of a feather, still another centered on the usually forgotten sexual areas of a woman.

"Going out with her in Atlanta, was always an adventure. She was very much into exhibitionism and public sex. Under her, both literally and figuratively, I became a better lover, at least technically.

"With those two objectives addressed, I turned my attention to the third and final one. This one was more difficult. I knew I still loved Sarah, or at least I thought I did. I had such strong feelings for her but I was torn by what I was doing. My head understood my logic but my heart questioned it. How could I be having an affair and still claim to love my wife?

"My answer came when I met Anna Marie. Where Leigh and Tori were just sex, Anna Marie reminded me what making love felt like. The first time we ended up in bed together was a surprise. I intended it to be like the others but she wasn't having any of that. She engulfed me with her body along with her passion. When we were through, I left quietly.

"The truth was, she scared me. I knew immediately I could fall for this woman but that was unacceptable. Over the months I've traveled to Phoenix, we've only made love a few times. This last time..."

He turned and stared directly into my eyes.

"This last time we didn't make love. Whether you believe me or not, I ended the affair. I won't tell you I don't have feelings for her and her kids, but they're not the same as I have for you and our children.

"The answer she gave me was that I was still in love with my wife. It wasn't the same as it was before but it was still there and it was still strong.

"It took me a little time but I realized the love I have for Anna Marie is as a friend, albeit one with benefits. Given time and attention it could've grown into much more." 

David took a deep breath and stared into my eyes.

"Sweetheart, I can honestly stand here and tell you I love you. It'll never be the same but I do still love you. Is that enough? I don't know but I'm willing to try until the children leave home. After that, we can re-evaluate the marriage.

"I realize you're angry right now. But if you feel my solution was too extreme, I'd remind you that my three affairs should be compared to your two."

"Two?" I asked confused and still shaken. "I never had a second affair."

"Perhaps," he said cautiously watching me closely.

"I'd like to propose something to you though. I've found a potentially very profitable business opportunity. However, to make it work, I'll need to move Anna Marie and her kids here to Dallas. It's a floral business she could manage and make both her and us a lot of money.

"Being the primary investor, I'll need to work closely with her in the beginning but it shouldn't take very long before she'll be able to handle it on her own. We may need to put them up for a couple of weeks before we can get them settled into their own place.

"I realize it'll be difficult but the payout could be very high. Well sweetheart, what do you think?"

He stared at me waiting on my response. It took me a second since I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.

"I think that's insane!" I finally said, my rage starting to boil.

"I know it'll be awkward at first," he rushed. "But I promise you, there won't be anything more than business between us. Sarah, the potential for success is incredible!"

"David," Raymond interrupted frowning heavily. "Is this a joke?"

Dammit, I started crying again. I couldn't believe my so called 'loving husband' could be as cruel and heartless as to propose this.

"Yes," he said coldly, "it was a joke. But I wanted to make a point."

"David," I said wiping away the tears. "That wasn't funny."

"No, it sure as hell wasn't," he growled. "But that's exactly what you've been doing to me for four years!

"How many times have I shaken that asshole's hand at some company function while he secretly laughed at me? Or, he stood there smiling, knowing the intimate sounds you make moments before you orgasm or your soft satisfied giggle afterwards? I'd even welcomed the bastard into my home several times before I knew of your betrayal. Each day you shared your little secret with him at your stupid, cuckolded husband's expense.

"At least with Anna Marie, you'll both know where you stand. You'll be able to look her in the eyes as an equal. That's something your lies denied me."

"Honey," I pleaded. "It wasn't like that."

"Sarah, you've lied to me for the past several years. How can I believe anything you'd say about your affair now?"

I sat staring at him, silently pleading for him to stop. Slowly, his rage at his own humiliation dissipated.

"Why did you lie to me for four years if your affair was completely over?"

"I told you," I said softly. "I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you. I also didn't want to take the chance that you'd divorce me and split our family apart. I know it was selfish..."

"Yes, it was," he interrupted. "But there's more to it than just that. I believe the main reason was because you were afraid if I knew about Hughes, I would've demanded you not work with him. I'm sure you suspected I might threaten to divorce you if you didn't quit or at least transfer to a different department. I also suspect you realized I'd be finding a way to bring that asshole down. That's something that would affect your other affair. The affair you were having with your career.

"I know you might not consider it an affair but I do. It became an affair as soon as you put its success above our marriage. I'm not talking about the kind of jobs that interfere with a marriage. Those are a fact of life, necessary to put food on the family table. I'm talking about those jobs or careers someone pursues regardless of what it'll do to their marriage or family. Sarah, I believe your career is more important to you than I am and I believe your actions validate that.

"Don't believe me?" he said, his voice cracking with anger. "Then consider this..."

"For your career you forfeited time with your family... time with me. For your career you lied to me for years. For your career you continued to work side-by-side with your ex-lover knowing how stupid and dangerous it was. For four years Sarah, you've protected your career at the cost of our marriage. That sounds like an affair to me.

"So, if you're thinking my solution was too excessive, make sure you compare it to all your actions. I did what I did to give this marriage a chance. It was a calculated risk but if I hadn't done it, I would've divorced you already. Now, there's a small chance we can survive this but only if you're willing to do what you were asking me to do... forgive and find a way to move on as husband and wife.

"Sweetheart, I realized at the beginning you could never handle the threat of me having an affair, so I had one before you could confess. Since you never chose to confess it to me, I ended up having three affairs. 

"Now, when we're lying together after making love, you too can wonder, like I did, if your spouse is basking in the afterglow or thinking of someone else. You'll actually know how it feels to not measure up physically to my past lover. I'm sorry Sarah, but even in the great shape you're in, you can't compete with an athletic, twenty-something whose eleven years younger.

"When we try something sexually we've never done together before, you'll actually have the same concerns I did. You'll get to wonder if I'd practiced it with someone else before doing it with you.

"And finally, you'll get to experience the same insecurities of wondering if you have my love or if I have given it to someone else. While I'm lying there fearing you're longing for the excitement of your affair or Mark's big cock, you'll be wondering if I'm fantasizing about Leigh's youthfulness, or Tori's experience, or Anna Marie's passion.

"If this is too much for you, I'll certainly understand. Like I said, I knew this was a calculated risk. I'm willing to try to make this marriage work, but if you want a divorce I won't fight it."

"That's so noble of you," I said disgusted, my anger building. "It's not like you've left me much of a choice. You hold the future of my career in your hands. Our money is who knows where and if we were to divorce, I'd stand the chance of losing one or both of my children!"

He snarled and said sarcastically, "I'm sorry I'm not making the option of throwing me away easy for you. But I thought you said you wanted to give this marriage another chance!"

We both stared at each other, lost in our frustration and fury. Finally, David sighed and leaned back.

"Listen, sweetheart, you're beautiful and I doubt seriously you'll be alone for very long unless you choose to be. And even if you lost your job, you'll receive alimony payments that'll still allow you to survive well until you get back on your feet. You certainly won't be poor.

"Also you need to know, I'll be suing your company. Whether it's for their contribution to our divorce or on grounds of sexual harassment since Hughes is your supervisor, will be determined on what you choose. Either way, I suspect there could be some form of settlement. 

"Sarah, you've always sold yourself short concerning your job. I understand you and that guy made a good team but you're extremely talented, even on your own. 

"Unfortunately, as for our children... a divorce will hurt them no matter how we try to protect them. Having to choose who to live with will tear them apart. There's no choice that won't cause them pain and bury them in guilt for some time.

"Sweetheart, you're absolutely right. I tried to make it easier for you to stay in the marriage than to end it. That's because I want this marriage to work.

"You see I am betting on this marriage. But since I don't know how you'll respond, I've hedged my bets. The choice really is up to you, Sarah. I've already decided, now it's your turn."

****

The days after our last session were chaotic, an emotional rollercoaster. I bounced between wanting to throw what was left of my marriage into the garbage and wanting to crawl into my husband's arms and beg him to tell me it was going to be all right.

I'd convinced David to give me a little time to work through this. He delayed going after Mark's job and ultimately mine as well.

Things were tense with Mark at work, as I expected they would be. After my call that weekend, he knew the ax was hovering above him and was waiting for it to fall. Patience wasn't one of his strengths.

We had more than one overly aggressive 'team meeting.' It was obvious to my coworkers something was wrong. Equally as obvious was the fact my life was about to change, dramatically.

I needed to figure out what I wanted to do if I was going to have any input in how it changed. What I wanted was for the love of my life to hold me and to make this whole nightmare go away. My actions and then his made that impossible.

I knew I still loved him, but could I find a way to get past his revenge? Could I do what I'd asked him to do... forgive? I knew neither of us would ever forget since the scars would always be there. 

I considered my choices carefully, and like the design engineer I am, I searched for workable solutions. 

The first solution and initially the easiest, was a divorce. It would hurt my children but then most of my choices would. The strength of this option was that I could come back to it later if I needed.

Another possibility was to stay in the marriage and make him pay for his revenge. I had no doubt we could get into a battle of paybacks. I tried to imagine a lifetime of trying to hurt each other and cringed. I hated even the thought of this one. In the end, I'd be nothing but a bitter old woman regardless of what happened to David.

Next, I could stay in the marriage until I found someone else to replace David. I didn't like this option because it would make me more of what I'd already been, a cheating wife. I also knew David wasn't stupid. He'd be able to tell something wasn't right and since his trust was gone, he'd be looking. The only reason he hadn't suspected my affair before was because he loved me so much that he wasn't looking for it. The fact it was short lived and I'd spent the last few years showing him I loved him had helped as well.

Well there it is, the thing that makes this so damn difficult. I loved my husband and even with everything that's happened, I still loved him. I was angry and hurt and guilty and scared but beneath all of that was my love for David. It was damaged, bruised and scarred for life but it was still there.

That left me with the option he said he'd hoped I'd choose, the one where we'd stay together, at least for a while. It was the one where we'd try to find a way to rebuild the marriage. It was also, by far, the most difficult.

I made my decision while I was sleeping. I woke in the middle of the night, afraid and alone after having a nightmare. I couldn't remember the specifics of the dream. All I knew was I wanted to be held... to be loved and protected. I wanted David.

I got up and without thinking, put on my favorite robe. It was old and ratty but was warm and comforting. I quietly opened my bedroom door and silently tip-toed down the hall to the guest room where he was staying. 

So what was I hoping for? I needed to talk to him, to hear his voice. I wanted to feel safe and to believe tomorrow might be better than today. Okay, I wasn't thinking clearly because I was still half-asleep.

I reached out and turned the doorknob. I was surprised to find his door unlocked. I froze and then slowly turned the doorknob back, trying to be as quiet as possible. I stood there, staring at his bedroom door fighting the emotions that were raging inside me.

I hated feeling this way. I wanted to make my choice and be done with it, but I was stuck. I was afraid to open the door but I was equally afraid to walk away from it. Thankfully, fate stepped in.

I don't know how long I'd been standing there but my heart stopped when he opened the door. Without saying a word, I stared at him, searching his eyes for something... anything... to rest my hope upon. I needed something concrete to justify my soon leap of faith. He slowly stepped forward and took me into his arms.

I sobbed as he held me. With one hand I softly beat on his chest and with the other, pulled him as close as possible. He didn't speak a word. When I was done, he released me but I clung to him with everything I had. I'd found my rock again.

"Don't," I begged. "Please, don't let go."

He held me tightly until there weren't any more tears. 

"David," I said softly as I looked up into his eyes. "I don't want to sleep alone tonight."

The edges of his mouth curled slightly giving only a hint of a smile.

"Sarah," he whispered, gently lifting my chin with his hand. "Neither do I."

He leaned over and kissed me, gently at first and then with more passion as I responded in fashion. For a fraction of a second, he paused, I think he was trying to decide if he should lead me back to the master bedroom but I didn't give him a chance. I put both hands on his chest and pushed him back into the room.

When we got to the bed he untied my old robe and let it slip to the floor. I softly pushed him till he sat on the bed. Standing in front of him, I slowly pulled my nightgown, one of his old t-shirts, over my head. I stood in front of my husband in all my middle-aged glory. 

My eyes were puffy and red and my nose was raw from the crying. My long hair wasn't brushed and looked like it had a mind of its own. I still had on my neon green, fuzzy slippers and I hadn't shaved my legs in days. To finish my sad little wardrobe, I was wearing my only pair of granny panties! Tomorrow was laundry day, great timing. Thankfully, I hadn't used a facial mask that night or he may've run away in terror.

To my astonishment I noticed how he was looking at me. His face showed a mixture of love and desire, all the while gazing at me as if I was some beauty queen. I'd forgotten how long it'd been since I'd felt beautiful, special, desired... loved.

I felt his gentle caresses as he drew me to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. His kisses reminded me it had been over a month since we'd had sex and even longer since we'd made love. My heart began to race and I felt myself grow moist as his hands explored my body.

As he lay me on the bed, he began to trail kisses down my throat, spending time worshipping each breast before beginning a slow journey down my stomach until he reached his desired destination. With each warm kiss and touch of his tongue, I began to lose myself. Within moments, I heard a low guttural moan and realized it was me!

Soon, I felt my mate, my lover, inside me as I wrapped myself around him. The feeling was overwhelming. It felt like... oh gawd... it felt like he was finally home.

I wish I could tell you we made wonderful, passionate love all night but we didn't. Each time we began to lose ourselves in our passion I'd pull back.

We'd be in the middle of an intimate moment and I'd imagine Leigh sitting atop my husband riding him with abandonment, or Tori leading him into some sexual fantasy, or Anna Marie's face as she completely gave herself to David. Each time it killed the mood and I'd have to fight back the anger or sadness.

It took more time and effort than ever before but I finally allowed David to drive me to orgasm. He tenderly stroked my hair while I rested against him, using his chest for a pillow. I fought back the fear and doubts until a single tear rolled off my cheek and fell on his chest.

"It gets easier," David said gently. "Give it time, sweetheart. I can promise you from experience... it gets easier."

I buried my face in his chest, realizing the damage I'd done to us and cried myself to sleep.

****

Epilog –

Summer 2014 – Brownwood

I'd like to say this past year was difficult but honestly... it's been hell. My marriage is still intact but it'll never be like it was. I think in some ways that's okay since the way it was didn't keep me from straying in the first place.

David filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against my company. The evidence he had from Chicago and the fact Mark was my immediate supervisor made the case potentially more successful. At least that's what David and his lawyers thought. Apparently, my company's lawyers thought so too since they ended up settling out of court. Well, actually they didn't settle but I ended up with a severance package that was unheard of. They avoided admitting any guilt and I was out of their hair. 

Mark was terminated. I think he'd received only one paycheck as a vice president that he could call all his own. The lawsuit opened up a can of worms for him as several other women came forward with complaints.

Last I heard he'd moved out west. David had made good on his threat and Mark's once promising career was now in shambles. On top of it all, I heard some jealous husband had hurt Mark bad enough to put him in the hospital for several weeks. When I mentioned it to David he smiled coldly.




Brownwood: Hedge Funds Ch. 02



"I wonder where he got proof his cheating wife was sleeping with that asshole?" he asked making no attempt to look innocent.

I never talked about Mark Hughes in front of David again. I figured it was best to let sleeping dogs lie.

David doesn't travel to Atlanta and Phoenix and there are no more weekend seminars. I have access to all of our accounts and have been more active in monitoring them. His past 'investments' have taken a surprisingly profitable turn recently, at least on paper, and most of our financial losses have been recouped.

Anna Marie's boutique did better than even David dreamed. Her success though caused some problems. Having my husband still a part of her life was too painful, so he made it possible for her to buy out our investment at a very healthy return. So no more contact between the two of them.

We moved to Brownwood after Christmas for a fresh start. His business is taking off and since he's kept a few of his old Dallas clients, we're still financially well-off.

I accepted a project manager position with a company called Grymm Engineering Solutions. I seem to fit in perfectly there. GES was on the fast track to become a Fortune 100 company until a scandal derailed it several years ago. Since then, it's worked hard to become successful even though it'll never reach the level it once could've. Like I said, I'm a perfect match.

My supervisor is a guy named Zach Morgan. It looks like we're going to be a great team... professionally. David and I became friends with Zach and his wife. We grew close enough that we shared some of our past with them. I'd like to say it drew us closer but it didn't. Zach's wife watches me closer now. I guess I don't blame her but it still hurts.

While the adults may never be best friends, our children are another matter. Shelly and Shannon Morgan are both at Brownwood Junior High and became BFF's Shelly's first week of school. Shannon is a beautiful 14 year-old and it is obvious Ryan has a major crush on her.

And my marriage? Well, we're still working through it. Most days, things seem almost normal with us sharing gentle words, loving touches, and laughter. Then other days, the memories come flooding back along with all the hurt and pain. I know over time those dark days will get less and less. Truthfully, I can't wait for the day when this is only a bad memory.

We're still in counseling and will be for some time. David's still trying to get past my betrayal and the years of lying while I still struggle with the severity of his 'revenge.' Raymond was right, two wrongs didn't make it right, it just damaged it even more. But that was the only way to save our marriage, according to David. I either have to accept that or I need to move on without him. There are times when I'm not sure which I'll choose. I think the real question has been, is this damaged marriage worth saving? So far the answer has been 'yes' for both of us.

Our trust is being rebuilt, very slowly. I don't doubt we love each other but we both sometimes wonder whether it'll be enough for us to survive when the kids leave. Still, we have a little time. Shelly won't graduate for another five years. 

I'd like to think we can pick up the pieces but only time will tell. I believe we have a good chance as long as neither of us decides to invest in any 'hedge funds.'

****