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Bringing Out the Bitch

By: StangStar06



Hi folks. This story was edited by the incredible Mikothebaby.

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It was a typical Saturday in suburbia. Well, maybe it was typical for everyone else, but I was unfortunately having a garage sale. I hate fucking garage sales and like most guys, I'd rather have simply thrown the shit away. But my wife insisted. Even after I told her that we don't need the money, she hit me right back with how we could simply donate the money to the school our kids attend. She's one of the organizers of the PTA and is truly dedicated to making the school a better place. She's as out of control about the PTA as I am about my car. 

Anyway, here I am lying out in my back yard hammock, resting up for Sunday, when they came in. Sundays are a big day for me. I'm planning on running a fall marathon so I usually spend Sunday morning doing my longest run of the week. It's usually between 18 and 24 miles so I'm pretty much useless for the rest of the day. At least until the sun goes down. Once it gets shady in my yard, I feel a huge rush of energy that I use to wash my car.

That's my car over there in the garage. The 2009 Mustang GT with the Bullitt rims and the Magnaflow exhaust system. After my wife, she's my baby. Actually, before my wife, she was my baby. You'll probably notice that we aren't having the garage sale to clean out my garage. Nope, my garage is spotless. You can eat off of the floors and there's even a TV in it. Oh shit, here they come.

I close my eyes and hope they'll go away...But they don't.

"Excuse me sir," says a young man. His girlfriend, or perhaps wife, is holding onto his hand for dear life. They both have that frigging "we're young, intelligent and in love" look about them.

"Did you mis-price the Games Master X-Station dual screen video system? Fifty bucks just doesn't seem right. I think you meant five hundred, right?" he asked.

"Both of the 3-D monitors come with it," I said. "Plus I'm throwing in all of the games, the headsets and the extra controllers."

"We get all of that for five hundred dollars?" he asked. His face was lit up like it was Christmas. "The dual 3-d monitors alone are worth three hundred a piece. And the system should be at least four hundred. The games are sixty dollars each. Are you sure you're letting all of this go for five hundred dollars?"

"No," I said sharply. "The price is fifty bucks, take it or leave it."

His girl was elbowing him in the ribs. But he was no dummy.

"Does it work?" he asked, looking at me suspiciously.

"It's got less than a month of use on it. It's in near perfect condition," I said. "Of course it works. Look if you don't want it, I'm sure someone will buy it."

"Did it belong to your kid and he ran away or went away to school or something?" he asked.

"Nope," I said. "It was mine."

"Then why are you selling it so cheaply," he asked. I shrugged my shoulder and sighed. That's one of the things I hate about fucking garage sales. Everybody can't just get a bargain. They absolutely have to know the history and the story behind every fucking item.

Actually getting rid of the game system was one of the reasons we were having the garage sale in the first place.

I sat up and gestured to the patio set on my deck. I grabbed a couple of beers for him and his girl and a Pepsi for me and started telling them the sad story about how video games almost ruined my life.

My name is Perry Tyler. Okay, no dumb ass questions, I'm not him. I'm not a giant black guy who dresses up like a woman and writes and directs movies. My name was Perry Tyler long before anyone ever heard of him.

Anyway, I have a degree in manufacturing technology from U of M and I work for Thompson Manufacturing as lead CNC programmer. I have a comfortable home in the suburbs of Michigan, just outside of Detroit. When the story started I'd been married to Denise Ankovski for about ten years. We were happy, or so I thought. I mean we had all of the things that seem to mean happiness in this day and age. We weren't exactly rich, but we weren't missing any meals either. Like most Americans, we were firmly in the middle of the economic war.

Denise and I were exact opposites when it comes to looks and physicality. She peaked early and I peaked later. By that, I mean that the first few years right after college were her best. Denise was never a raving beauty, but she was attractive and had a hot body. Her average looking face was framed by long shiny brown hair that made her better looking than she was.

She wasn't a troll or anything, but that hair made her far sexier. Her body also wasn't Baywatch quality. But she had nice legs and big tits. Those probably made most guys overlook the fact that her gut was a little doughy even in her twenties, which is a really bad sign. Those tits also made most guys, me included overlook the fact that she had what is generally known as a "white girl's ass."

That is the kind of ass that simply doesn't stick out much at all. It's almost as if her lower back just joined her legs with no bulge of any kind. Strangely enough, the current generation of women, rarely have this trait anymore.

I think maybe it's like during the renaissance when Rubenesque women were all the rage. What is and isn't desirable in women changes. In the twenty first century, we seem to prefer our women with a little bit more junk in the trunk.

Anyway, I, on the other hand, was a nerd, plain and simple. During my college days and the days that followed, I was thin, geeky and wore huge glasses. I was socially inept and shy beyond reason. I was also hopelessly smitten with Denise.

The first few years after college were difficult ones for most of us. Denise ended up waitressing and I settled into my current job. I was making good money almost from the beginning and slowly forced to get over my social phobias. I started off as a CNC operator and gradually moved into a set-up position and then became a programmer. Each promotion brought new responsibilities and more money.

Meanwhile, I was still hanging out with some of my friends from college. Denise and I had spoken a lot during the years but had never dated. We got friendlier as the years went on until finally we started dating. Things quickly got serious between us. Denise was the first woman who actually let me have access to her body. I mean, I'd had sex before, but usually it was a hurried thing in the back of a car or in a dorm while the roommates were out.

Denise and I both had our own apartments and we took time out to actually enjoy sex. Her boobs were so large that they had already started to sag by the time we were in our mid-twenties. I was fascinated with them and she was fascinated with the fact that I was still fascinated with them. I guess most of the guys in our circle had already had their chances with them and moved on. They'd gotten to her boobs when they were still buoyant and springy. Now that I had them, gravity had already won the battle.

After dating for a year, I'd noticed several things. The first was that Denise was simply my best friend. Whenever I was away from her, I was miserable. She felt the same way about me so I asked her to marry me. She looked at me as if I was talking about someone else. I guess she'd seen a lot of the old spinster type women at the restaurants she worked in and supposed that she'd end up the same way.

She didn't even accept when I first asked her. She asked me why I wanted to marry her.

"You're already fucking me regularly," she said. "You know that I'll give you all the pussy you want even if we don't get married, so why do you want me to marry you?"

I looked her straight in the eyes. "Denise, I've always liked you. Even before you ever noticed me, I actually dreamed about you. Now that we've spent some time together, I've noticed that I'm pretty miserable when you're not around. It's not just your tits or sex, Denise. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Although you're my best friend, I don't want us to be just friends. And I shudder to think that someday some other guy could take you away from me. I love you, Denise."

"God, why didn't you just lead with that last part," she said. "Of course, I'll marry you, Perry. But don't sell yourself short. I know that you think you wouldn't have had a chance with me earlier, but you would have. Being with you is great for me too. A lot of the guys I went out with before you were only after me for sex. You're the only person I know who actually took the time to get to know me. And even after we started having sex, you're still here and still nice to me. I'd never let you get away from me and I never will. I love you too."

So ten years into the marriage we were happy or so I thought. The ensuing years had brought us many blessings. We had two boys, Bobby was a rambunctious five year-old and Johnny, his younger brother, was three. We'd waited until we were financially stable to have our kids. We had a nice house, two cars, a pool and regular vacations. We had all of the things that one needs to be happy.

Of course, over the ten years we'd become totally different people. Denise seemed to get shorter and fatter. While not a pig or a blob, she was now one of those typical suburban housewives you see everywhere. Nope take that out of your mind. Denise wasn't a MILF; she was more like a MIPWFWSEDBHHLH. Okay I won't bother trying to tell you how to pronounce that but I'll tell you what it stands for. (Mother I Probably Wouldn't Fuck With Someone Else's Dick But Her Husband Loves Her)

Yep, her hooters hung down so far over her already large gut that it all blended into one large mass. And her ass had sunk even lower into her lower back. The years and pumping out two babies had taken their toll on her once sexy frame. But I hadn't noticed. Denise was still the woman I loved and now she was the mother of my children. That forges a connection that a little bit of adipose tissue simply can't break.

It wasn't unusual for me to come home and push her down onto the bed while the kids weren't looking and grab two big handfuls of titty while she screamed in outrage. I also had a habit of sticking my hands down the front of her pants and then smelling my fingers and telling her that was what I wanted for dinner.

On the other hand, the years had been kinder to me. Being in charge of a department and having control over one of the most important components of our business had given me more confidence. Being thrust into situations again and again over the past ten years where people counted on my expertise to solve problems made me more comfortable in social situations. I also started to work out and Denise's cooking put a few more pounds on my lanky frame. The final straw was giving up my giant glasses in favor of contacts.

I think all of this really became a problem when Mary Claire Thorpe, who was our baby sitter at the time, said something.

We were having a barbecue in Mary Claire's honor because she'd just received her Associates degree in childhood development. Of course, she still had many years of schooling to go through, since her goal was her Master's degree or possible a PHD. But it was the first essential step, so we wanted to help her celebrate.

Mary Claire was a striking, if shy girl. She was tall and thin but curvy at the same time. Her breasts were no more than a handful but they had no sign of sag. She had long beautiful legs and an extremely nice bubble butt. I'd seen that butt many times when she swam in our pool but it hadn't led to any episodes of lust. I guess it was kind of like seeing a guy whose car has a supercharger. You appreciate it for what it can do. But when you're happy with your own engine it really just isn't a factor.

So there we were, Denise and I, along with our kids, Mary Claire, her brother Stewart and a couple of neighbors. We were all gathered around our pool giving Mary Claire gifts and congratulating her. MC, which was what we called Mary Claire, was so happy that she'd had a few drinks and was a bit tipsy. Denise had just given her our gift, which was a laptop computer.

Before MC opened the box, Denise had given her the box, saying, "Here's our gift MC. It's probably something car related, so you can take it back and exchange it. But what do you expect when my husband the nerd gets to pick it out."

"Mr. Tyler's not a nerd. He's hot. I'd do him in a heartbeat," gushed the obviously drunk MC. Denise's eyes had narrowed considerable even though she knew that MC was just drunk. I guess that up until that moment, she really hadn't taken a look at me in a while. In her mind, just like in mine, we were simply two mid-thirties fuddy-duddies with kids and a mortgage, just like everyone else we knew.

Hearing that I was hot, changed the equation because when we first got together, in terms of attractiveness, she was a has-been and I'd been a never was. Finding out that things had changed even if it was only in the eyes of one drunken baby sitter got her attention.

Denise and I spent the majority of our time playing with our kids and doing family things. I guess because of that some of the spark in our relationship had died down until there were only embers left. Women notice those kinds of things and they tend to internalize them.

I, on the other hand, just decided that we needed to pick up a few new hobbies that we could do together to fan the embers into a fire again.

I'd read several articles on the internet about online predators who met kids in gaming rooms and our kids were getting close to the age where they'd start playing video games. In most of the articles the authors said that one of the best ways to make sure that your kids weren't victimized or bullied online was to play the games with them. Since I'd never been much of a gamer, I figured I'd need a head start.

I went out and bought the biggest and most expensive gaming system I could find. I also bought a lot of the most popular games. I bought a professional level dual CPU, dual monitor system so Denise and I could play together and also play against each other online.

As far as games went I bought Beyond the call of duty 4, Un-Mapped and Sea Rim, all of which had excellent campaign modes and awesome online variants. When I got home and hooked up the system, Denise stared at me as if I was on drugs.

"This is going to help us to recharge things around here," I smiled lasciviously.

"How the hell is it going to that?" she asked.

"Well two ways," I began. "We'll play some of the games together. To bring us closer together and enhance our teamwork skills."

"We already have good teamwork skills," she snapped.

"I know," I told her. "But except for family things we don't often do things together just for fun. And some of the games we'll play against each other. We'll compete for prizes."

"What kind of prizes?" she asked dubiously.

"Hm...it depends on the game," I said. "It could be that the winner gets to do anything they want to the loser."

"Don't get your perverted hopes up Perry," she smirked. "I'm not going to let you fuck my ass, just because you won a video game. Why can't you be happy with what you already get?"

"Because I want all of you," I gushed.

She smiled and laughed a bit but I noticed that she was more cheerful than she'd been in a while. That happiness and exuberance lasted all the way up until we actually started playing the games. A large part of my job involved using computers and different types of software platforms so I adapted and learned very quickly. Denise on the other hand, not so much. To put it briefly, she was terrible.

Modern video games are fast paced, extremely realistic appearing challenges that require dexterity, fast reflexes, great problem solving abilities and a killer instinct. I don't think Denise had any of those attributes.

The first night that we sat down to play was awful. We acted as a two person team while playing "Beyond the call of duty." Denise was killed before she figured out where we were. We started the game over and she was killed before she took a step. In all, Denise was killed so many times during that first evening that she just threw the controller down in frustration and walked away.

The next evening we decided to play against each other offline. "So what are we playing for?" I asked.

"Not what you're hoping for," she smirked. "I'm not risking that until I get good enough to at least have a chance of keeping your dick out of my rectum." I was disappointed. Then I killed her 15 times in fourteen minutes.

Needless to say, not only did I not get any anal sex with Denise, I didn't get any sex at all. Denise barely spoke to me for two days. I was about to give up on the whole video game thing and pack it away to save it for our kids when they got older. I got an excited phone call while I was at work from Denise.

"Saturday night," she said.

"What about Saturday night," I asked.

"Saturday night, we'll play for whatever you want," she said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Saturday night you and I will play video games against each other," she said. "If you win, you get to fuck my ass. If I win, you have to lick my pussy until your tongue won't move anymore."

"What brought this on?" I asked curiously.

"Mary Claire's brother Stewart is going to give me video gaming lessons," she said. "I was telling MC how hard you've been trying to find things for us to do together. She thought it was a wonderful thing for you to do until I told her how terrible I am at playing the games. Her brother came over to borrow some money from her. He doesn't have a job, and when he saw our game system he almost peed on himself. He offered to teach me to play the games for only ten dollars a session if I let him play on the system sometimes. So Saturday night mister, it's on."

It had been on a Monday when she'd called me and all through that week the two of us were exchanging glances and smiling. Even when we had sex during that week it was as if we'd been supercharged. I pumped away at her harder than I had in a while and she grunted and whispered in my ear. "I know what you're imagining," she said. "Go ahead, fuck that ass baby even though, it's not going to happen."

So, to make a long story short, Saturday night came. We had dinner and after the kids went to bed, Denise took a shower and perfumed herself up. I took a shower and put on just a robe. We met each other at the gaming system. Each of us was wearing only a smile besides our finest night apparel.

The game was "Beyond the Call of Duty" and we were playing against each other. The first one to kill the other five times would win the prize.

As soon as the game booted up, I dove for cover and located Denise on the simulated landscape. Then I took a breath and calmly and efficiently drilled not one but two nine millimeters rounds between my wife's eyes.

"That's one," I said. "Better get out the lube."

That first quick kill was my last one. Denise shot five times in a row so quickly and so mercilessly that I still don't understand it. The last time she was somehow directly above me hanging from a tree limb in some kind of stealth mode. That type of skill was way beyond me. I was pissed and she was smirking at me.

"Let's go, Honey," she crooned, gesturing towards our bedroom.

She got up on the bed took off her panties and spread her legs. I dutifully started swabbing her deck the way I knew she liked it. After three orgasms, she pushed me away from her and told me that she couldn't take another one. I grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge and chugged it then went back to bed.

"Don't you want to...?" she asked. "I really got off Honey. I'll do you now. Do you want to fuck me or should I just blow you?"

It was the first time in my life that I ever turned down a blow job, but I was so pissed that I barely wanted to look at her let alone fuck her.


Bringing Out the Bitch



The next day was, of course, Sunday. I ran twenty miles and came home and relaxed until getting up to wash my car.

"Hey, sweetie, do you want to play for a while?" she asked. I told her no. And that I was too tired but I'd watch her for a while. She was awesome. She knew cheat codes and combos that I'd never even imagined. By the time she was finished, I never wanted to see that fucking game again. When she went to start dinner, I got on the game system and tried playing a different game. I tried Un-Mapped. Un-Mapped is a very sophisticated game. It's an adventure game that is so realistic that it's like playing a movie. You start out as Jim Columbus, a descendant of Christopher Columbus and you're on a quest to find a city of lost treasures that Columbus discovered during his travels. Apparently he decided never to mention the city in his journals because some arcane force there could spell the end for all of mankind.

Anyway, beside just killing people and creatures, you have to solve puzzles and find your way around the game while being betrayed by some of the people closest to you. Denise saw what I was doing and came over and sat down in her gaming chair. She joined my game and again she was terrible. I smiled. I sensed a rematch. I might just get my dick up inside her fat flat ass yet.

So we set the rematch for one week from my defeat. This time we'd be playing Un-Mapped. We'd play the online version which constantly spat out new puzzles and new foes. The first one to get to the treasure would be the winner.

"What are we playing for this time?" she asked.

"You already know what I want," I hissed.

"Well this time, I want you to lick every inch of my body, suck my toes and then do what you did last night," she said. "I'm still tingling. Every time you say a word and I see your tongue, my pussy itches."

I just got up and went out to wash my car.

During the week, I played Un-Mapped a lot. I got to the point where it felt like I was inside of the game. I also spent a lot of time in the chat rooms on the internet learning more about the game. The thing that made this a far more fair contest was that she couldn't really practice for this one. It would be a different game every time you played it.

Saturday came and we again showered and undressed after putting the kids to bed. We sat down in our respective chairs and started the game. Of course, since she was better than I was at "Beyond the call," she excelled in the shooting battles. I was better at solving the puzzles. She won but only barely.

In a repeat of the previous week, she got her way. I licked and sucked every inch of her body. I sucked her toes and had her moaning so loudly I was sure the neighbors could hear us. Then I ate her until I couldn't move my tongue anymore.

"Perry, I just love it when you do that," she gushed. "And I love you. Buying this video game was the smartest, best thing we've ever done."

"I'm glad you're happy," I said with a cheer in my voice that I really didn't feel.

"So what about next weekend?" she asked.

"What about it?" I asked.

"Well we still have a game left, and neither of us has played it yet," she said. I got out of the bed and went to the game. I brought the box back into the bedroom and we read it together.

"You're on," I said.

"This one may be painful for you," she smiled. "If I win you're going to have to lick the thing you want the most but you won't be getting it. What do you want if you win?"

"Nothing," I said. That left her flummoxed. She positioned herself until she was lying right beside me and then wrapped her arm around me.

"But don't you want to..." she asked.

  "Not anymore," I said.

  "Perry, this probably hasn't crossed your mind but it's been over a week since we..." she said.

  "Denise, you just got off three times," I said. "That should be enough."

  As I went out for my run that next day, I was pissed. Twenty miles is a long way to run. It gives you a lot of time to think. Washing a car is another great pursuit which allows you mind time to find order and seek solutions to problems that are vexing you.

  During that time I thought about how I'd get ready for the following Saturday. Another thing that I decided to do was kind of underhanded but necessary.

  While Denise made dinner I calmly and casually wandered around our living room and looked at a few things on the shelves and around the room.

  The next day, while at work, I booted up my computer and went to an application on my desktop. I hadn't used it in a long time but it still worked. We had several stuffed animals on the shelves in our living room and in other places around our house. A few years back when we'd heard horror stories about baby sitters we'd bought a bunch of nanny cams so we could check up on Mary Claire.

  MC was pretty much a part of the family now. She came over to use our computers or the pool even if she wasn't sitting for us, but back then we wanted to be able to check on the kids from anywhere. I could check the feeds from my iPhone if a computer wasn't handy.

  In this case I'd moved one of the cams so it faced the monitors of the video game system. I knew it was cheating in a way, but I needed to know exactly how Stewart was making Denise such a video game wiz.

  I put the feed from the cameras in a smaller window on my computer's desktop. That way I could get some work done while I waited to watch her training. I guess I'd been working on a new program for a little over an hour when I heard a sound. It sounded like Denise was talking to someone.

  "Did you win again?" asked Stewart. He tee heed for a few minutes as I watched Denise smile and nod her head.

  There was also another guy in the room with him. Stewart looks nothing like Mary Claire. He's a large doughy guy who is already balding though only in his early thirties. He wears very thick glasses and unlike the typical nerd he is very aggressive. He constantly gives out his personal opinion on a variety of topics that are very important to HIM. Like I once had trouble extracting myself from a discussion on whether or not Frodo and Sam were gay. He claimed they both were and Frodo was open about it while Sam was in the closet.

  He then changed the subject to whether or not Frodo and Sam would ever have found Mordor without Gollum's help. He assured me that they would have because the ring itself could have guided them. He claims that the ring knew where they were going and was trying to resist going there. That was why it was so painful for Frodo to carry it.

  After that conversation, I refused to ever watch the Lord of the Rings movies ever again and wouldn't allow them in my house. When Stewart gave us the boxed set one Christmas, since he'd noticed that we didn't have them, I quickly chucked them out as soon as he left the house.

  "So do I get paid now?" asked Stewart.

  Denise suggested that Stew's friend might be more comfortable sitting outside on the deck while she gave him his money. I didn't understand that. I was the one paying Stewart. "Besides, there's no rush, we have all morning and most of the afternoon," she said.

  Stewart looked at his friend who started to say something and then quieted down at a glance from Stewart. He walked outside saying something under his breath.

  Denise and Stewart watched his leave the house and heard the door click. Then Denise pulled Stewart into the living room and dropped to her knees in front of Stewart. She opened the fly of his pants as my mouth opened in shock and started giving Stewart a blow job. In the mere seconds that it took for her to start doing it my blood pressure and heart rate tripled. I pressed a key on my keyboard that started my computer to recording the video feed and grabbed my jacket.

  I immediately told my secretary that I had an emergency at home and I needed to leave. I was in the parking lot in less than two minutes. I had no need to rush either. The whore had told that fat assed nerd that they had all afternoon.

  The rumble from my Mustang's engine was extremely loud in the early morning silence of the parking lot. I passed several of my co-workers who were just arriving at work as I left.

  I parked a block away from my house and walked the rest of the way. My car's tell-tale exhaust note would have announced my presence had I not. I went through the gate into the back yard instead of opening the front door and warning them. I wondered where Stewart's friend was. Maybe he'd gone home.

  The back door was wide open. I walked stealthily in through the kitchen and caught them. Stewart's hips were moving slowly in and out as Denise leaned over our dining room table. Stewart was fucking Denise's ass. The same one she'd refused to ever give me. Stewart was sweating profusely and grunting. "Hurry up," said Denise. She was simply leaning over the table letting him do it as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Then I spied Stewart's friend across the room from the side opposite the one I was watching from. He was furiously jacking off as he watched them.

  "Hurry up," said Denise again. "It's not like I enjoy this."

  "You told him that the two of you had all day," I said loudly, causing them to turn in my direction. Denise straightened up quickly and Stewart almost fell over.

  "Perry, what are you doing home?" she asked in shock.

  "Oh Shit," said Stewart, who couldn't help it. His tiny pale penis started spewing sperm all over Denise who was trying to get her clothes. That was all it took for my rage to overtake reason. I crossed the room headed straight for Stewart. His eyes continued to get larger. Though Stewart is a much larger guy than I am physically, he knew what was coming.

  The boxer Mike Tyson was once asked in an interview what was the best punch he ever threw. He said that the best punch he ever threw was against Robin Givens when he was married to her. I was in that mode as my fist rocketed towards Stewart. I've never been much of a fighter. Except for some self-defense lessons, I'm pretty much a reformed nerd myself.

  But that morning, I marveled at my actions as they occurred. I stopped a very precise distance away from Stewart, who was trying to pull his pants up and back away from me with them still around his ankles.

  Though my lower body stopped and locked itself into place, my upper body was still moving. The change in pace between my legs and my torso added a whip-like movement. At exactly the right moment, my hips rotated and added momentum to my torso and through the torso my shoulders squared up with Stew as my arm extended. My fist on the end of that arm moved through a perfectly coordinated arc that terminated when my knuckles struck Stew's right eye snapping the frame of his glasses and sending shards all over the room.

  My left hand grabbed the front of Stewart's shirt to prevent him from falling as my right arm reloaded and rocketed forward again. This time it broke Stewart's nose and a gusher of blood erupted as the vengeful fist cocked yet again.

  It was as if I was watching all of this from outside of my body. I was perfectly aware of everything that was going on in the room. I was one with the universe on a molecular level. So I noticed that Denise's face was a mask of terror as she leapt towards me. I also noticed that Stewart's friend had continued to jack off as I beat Stewart to a bloody pulp. Perhaps he was the victim of too many video games or perhaps the links between sex and violence were too closely related for him to separate them.

  Denise threw herself against my arm to keep me from pummeling Stewart any further. She held onto my arm and the bitch outweighed me so reflexes took over. My foot came up and my steel toed shoe that I was required to wear in the plant for safety reasons, jellied Stewart's nuts. His high pitched screams were probably audible from the next county. I glared at Denise and threw her off of me. I picked up a snow globe off of the table, and quickly chucked it at Stewart's still chicken choking friend. Nope, I didn't hit him where you think. I did aim for it, but I was too pissed off to concentrate. The heavy snow globe did however hit him on his right hand. The edges of the base cut deeply into his hand even as the weight of the globe snapped his wrist. He'd be jacking off with his left hand for a quite a while.

  He too, started screaming and I turned to face Denise, who was frantically scrambling to find clothes and to talk to me at the same time.

  "Perry, we have to talk about this," she said.

  "What is there to talk about," I snapped. "You've saved you lover for now. But the next time he and I get together it'll be different. Get the fuck out of my house all of you."

  "What are you talking about?" she screamed. "I don't have a lover. I was trying to save you from having to go to jail. Our kids need both of their parents. And we can't work this out if you killed Stewart. He's pathetic. Look at him."

  "Denise, just get the fuck out of my house," I repeated. "Take Stewart and his butt buddy with you."

  Stewart was still on the floor curled up in the fetal position holding onto his nuts. His nose had swollen to three times its normal size and was gushing blood. His right eye was already turning black and the side piece of his ruined glasses dangled impotently from his left ear. His pants were still down around his ankles.

  Stewart's friend meanwhile was crying and trying to open the locked front door with only his left hand. I crossed the room and gave Denise her keys from the counter. I opened the door and told her to take the two of them with her. They had trouble getting Stewart up and out of the house.

  Denise tried to hug me before she left but I pushed her away. "When we talk about this you'll see that it's not really as bad as it seems," she said. "I'll be back as soon as I take them to the hospital."

  "No you won't be," I said. "Go to your parents' house or to hell but don't come back here. Have your dad come by and get you enough clothes or whatever to last you until the lawyers can arrange for you to come back."

  "Perry, don't talk like that," she said. "This was just a mistake. We're not going to be one of those divorced families. We're going to work this out. I don't want my boys growing up in a broken home. I love you. We just need to talk." I slammed the door in her face. If she hadn't jumped back at the last instant, the door would probably have knocked her both down and out. As it was the heavy metal framed door cracked.

  I realized that I didn't have much time so I called Mary Claire and told her I needed her help desperately. I asked her to pick my boys up from school and preschool and take them to my parents' house. I told her that I'd probably be going to jail very soon but I didn't tell her why. Then I dashed out to the bank and transferred all of the money out of my savings account. I left the checking account alone. I closed out the savings account so if someone checked out accounts online there wouldn't be any evidence that another account existed. I was sure that when Denise got a lawyer, he'd be able to tell when the account was closed and if he got a court order he might even be able to find out how much money was there, but he still wouldn't be able to get it back.

  I went and saw my boss. He and I were friends and he'd gone through a couple of divorces. When you have as much money as he does, women just flock to you and most of them don't have the best of intentions.

  He helped me set up an off shore account. I managed to find another bank where I was able to deposit the cash and then transfer it to my offshore account. Denise's lawyers would have to try to search every bank in the region to track down that transaction. Especially since I didn't have an account at that bank and didn't open one. I did end up paying a hundred dollars or so in fees but it was well worth it.

  I called my broker and cashed out my brokerage account. That account just had stocks, some tiered bonds and a few mutual funds in it. It was completely separate from the 401K account that I had at work. I lost roughly fifteen percent of the value of the account by rolling it into the offshore account. If I had tried to take it out in cash or a check, I'd have had to pay taxes on it which would have further reduced the amount. I called my boss again and he told me that he had an idea for me that he was working on. He had a friend in Vegas at one of the casinos who was going to help us. He also told me to park my car in his garage. I got my secretary to follow me to the house my boss lived in with his current girlfriend. We drove back in my secretary's Honda and I rented a car.

  I drove the rental back to my house and noticed that the police were already there when I pulled up. I smiled and waved at them.

  "Mr. Tyler, there are two men in the hospital with very serious injuries," said one of the officers. "They don't want to press any charges, but we'd like to hear your side of the story."

  "I came home and found one of them fucking my whore of a wife," I said. "I reacted the way any guy would. Do you need proof or something?" I asked.

  The two cops looked embarrassed. "Come into the house," I said. They reluctantly followed me.

  I went over to my home computer and started the feed. They watched the first part that I'd seen from work. I cut the feed off long before the part where I attacked Stewart came on.

  "Sir, I really understand what you're going through," said the first officer. "I've been there. Even though these guys don't want to press charges, we need to take you downtown to fill out a report. I think your wife has convinced them not to say anything. You probably won't be there for very long."

  "Oh I'm ready to go officer," I said. "I don't mind staying down there for a while. I have everything in order."

  My house has a front door and a back door. The back door has a special lock so we were originally told not to lose the keys they made for it because replacing them might mean having to replace the whole door. Denise almost immediately lost hers while we were on vacation. As I left the house, I broke my key for the front door off in the lock. My key to the back door was in my Mustang's center console.

  Surprisingly, they didn't put me in jail. I was put into an interview room. They didn't take my phone, my wallet or any of my personal effects because I wasn't under arrest. They left me alone while I waited for the detective to come and interview me.

  I called Mary Claire who had already taken my kids to stay with my mom and dad. She asked me what was going on. "Your brother would probably be a better person to talk to," I said. "But thanks for picking up my kids. I owe you one."

  I spoke to my dad then and explained what was going on to him. He decided that the best thing to do would be to call and leave a message on my home phone saying that he was taking the boys fishing and had my permission to do so. My dad knew thousands of places to fish and my boys loved fishing.

  My phone rang almost as soon as I hung up and it was Denise. I immediately hung up on her. She called me right back and I hung up on her again. The next call I got was from Denise's mom. I loved her. So I couldn't hang up on her. She asked me if I would please go down to the hospital and talk to Denise while she waited to hear about Stewart.

  I asked her how much she knew about what was going on. She told me that Denise had only told her that we were having an argument about something I'd done to Stewart and she was trying to make it better. I figured that it should be up to Denise to tell her parents what had happened. If she lied to them then I'd tell them the truth.

  I told her that I couldn't go to the hospital because I was in jail. Within five minutes of me getting off the phone with her I got a flurry of call s from Denise, none of which I accepted.




Bringing Out the Bitch



A half hour later, I'd told my story to the detective in charge of the case. I was sitting there waiting to be released when Denise stormed into the police station. Someone told her which room I was in and brought her to see me.

She ran over to me and tried to hug me again. I held out my hands and backed away from her. "Stay away from me bitch," I told her.

"Honey, we have to go home and sort this out," she said.

"There's nothing to sort," I told her. "After our divorce goes through, you'll have more than enough time to fuck Stewart and anyone else you want."

"God damn it, Perry," she said. "You're the only one I want."

"We all need to want something," I said. "But I'm the one thing that you want that you're never going to have again."

"Perry, we need to talk about this, I'm serious," she said. "I made a bunch of mistakes, but it doesn't mean that I don't love you."

"You let that fat assed bastard fuck your ass, when you've never let me," I snapped. "Year after year after year, I've begged you for that. Let's see, we've known each other forever. You've known him for a few months at best. I married you and supported you. He taught you how to play video games. When you're sick, I take care of you. What exactly has he done for you? You and I have kids together and I thought we had a future. He ended our marriage so I guess your future is with him now. Well, you and he have all of those memories of laughing at me behind my back too, right?"

"Perry, no one has laughed at you..." she began. "I love you Perry, don't do this to us."

"I didn't do shit to us," I said coldly. "You did."

"Perry, you've never seen the real me," she said. "When I was growing up, I discovered that I'll do anything I have to do to win. I'm overly competitive. But I'm at a point in my life where I needed to feel like I controlled something. You've always treated me like a princess. You've always love me and cared for me when no one else did. Even when we got older and I became a pig and you turned into the way you are now. You're always grabbing on me and begging me for something that's always been yours..."

"Yeah right, that's why you give that asshole things you won't do with me. Do you know how painful that is? I'm done talking with you. Anything else you need to say you can say through my lawyer," I said.

"Perry, we need to talk about this calmly," she said. I turned my face away from her and childishly stuck my fingers in my ears and started loudly singing, "La la la la la." As I watched she got redder in the face.

"Perry, don't make me do this," she said.

"La la la la la ," I sang.

She shook her head and pulled out her cell phone. She started talking to someone on the phone and then snapped the phone shut. She looked back at with an evil look on her face. She got up to go.

The detective ran back into the room. "Mr. Tyler, I'm sorry but we're going to have to hold you," he said. "The men you assaulted have changed their minds and decided to press charges."

"Call me when you decide to listen to reason," said Denise. "This could have been really easy, but you had to make me bring out the bitch."

I was moved into a cell. An hour later, Denise came running into the cell to see me. "Perry, where are the kids?" she asked. I refused to talk to her.

  "Perry you're taking this all too far. It's not what it seems like. I need your key to the back door. It isn't with your personal effects and there's something broken off in the front door," she said.

"Denise, the house is in my name only. I've told you already that I don't want you in my house. If you go into it I'll charge you with burglary, or trespassing," I said.

"Perry, you don't want to fuck with me," she snapped. "There's still time for you to apologize, for us to have a little talk and work this all out. We'll go back to the way things were before and everyone will be happy. We'll still spend the rest of our lives together and years from now this won't even be a dim memory. I'll even let you fuck my ass if it means that much to you."

"Fuck you whore," I spat. "I don't want it anymore. All I want now is to be free of you. I just want to start my life over with someone who loves me enough to be faithful to me." Her eyes narrowed out and her mouth got straighter.

"Perry, I love you," she said, "Don't make me do this. I checked with a lawyer. She's a real mean bitch. She told me that I could get your house, most of your salary, most of your retirement plus child support. You'd be living in a shelter, eating tuna every night until the kids turn eighteen."

"Won't happen, I'll plead guilty and take jail time," I smirked.

"You're just angry and hurt," she laughed. "Just like later on when we talk about this calmly and I explain everything to you, you're going to regret turning down your chance to fuck my ass."

"No I won't," I said. "It just doesn't mean anything anymore."

"Why not," she sneered. "Did you get someone else to let you do it to them since you're hot now and I'm just a fat assed cow?"

"It was never about anyone else," I said. "Denise, I've loved you since the first time I ever saw you back in college. I know that you got around a lot and you had way more experience than I did. I know a lot of guys got blow jobs from you before I did and a lot of guys fucked you before I did. I didn't mind because I always told myself that they may have had you first, but I'd be the last one and the one who had you the longest because we were going to be together forever. Then, after we got together we started talking openly and I found out that the one thing you'd never done was anal. I never have either Denise. I thought it was something we could try together and I'd be the first one to have you that way. It would be the one thing about you that I could say was all mine."

Her eyes filled with tears then and she understood. "Perry, I never knew any of that," she whined. "Perry, I didn't realize it was that serious or that you loved me that much. I guess, I just kind of thought that you couldn't find anyone else."

"Yep, it no longer matters, Denise. Let's just get the divorce," I said.

"Perry, please don't make me do this, neither one of us will be happy once it starts," she said.

"Fuck you Denise. I love tuna," I snapped.

  She walked out of the room and the guard came in and told me that my wife was bailing me out. I asked him if I had to accept any money from her to bail me out.

"Well... you could refuse the money," he said. "But that would be stupid. Who'd do that?"

"You're looking at him," I said. "I don't want anything to do with that bitch."

Denise walked back inside the room. "Why do you want to stay in here?" she asked. "We need to talk about this. But I can talk just as well here." I waved my hand and yelled for the guard to come.

"This woman is harassing me. I haven't even had my day in court yet. I don't want to talk to her and I want her barred from future visitation," I said. The guard escorted Denise out of the room.

"You'll be sorry," she shrieked. She kept screaming even as they escorted her out of the jail area.

The next morning, my favorite guard was back. Over-night the holding cell I was in had filled with a collection of petty criminals. A few of us had bonded and were talking to pass the time when the guard came over to me.

"There's a woman here to see you," he told me.

"I already told you I don't want to see my skanky assed wife," I snapped.

"It's not her," he said. "It's a different woman. Do you want to go to a room or should I just send her back?"

"Send her back it'll be faster," I said.

I should have realized it when I heard the sounds of the whistles and cat calls coming down the row of cells as she approached.

She walked through all of the shouting and screaming and whistling with the regal air of a princess.

"You really did a number on my brother," she said. "And Denise is livid. What did Stewart do?"

I told her what had happened and her eyes got bigger than Stewart's were just before my first punch hit him.

"God, I'm so sorry," she said. "I can't believe my brother would do that. His college career is over."

"Why what does this have to do with him going to college?" I asked.

"The dean hates Stewart," she said. "He's been on probation since he went back to school. The last time the dean told him that if he so much as farted he was out for good. At this rate he'll never get out of my parents' basement. My dad is about ready to throw him out anyway. Can you imagine being that old and still living in your mom and dad's basement? They have to wait until he wakes up to do their laundry. He has Lord of the Rings posters all over the basement and he invites other losers over to play dungeons and dragons."

I laughed at the thought of it.

"Well, I came to bail you out," she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because that's what friends do," she said shyly.

"MC you don't have that kind of money," I said.

"It's money I saved for tuition," she told me.

"MC, I'll have the guards give you my bank card," I said. "As much as I appreciate it, I couldn't take money from you, but thanks. It really means a lot." She just smiled at me and nodded her head.

"So you could have bailed yourself out whenever you wanted to?" she asked. I nodded. "Then why didn't you?"

"Three reasons," I said. "Denise wanted me out of here. My being in jail makes her feel like shit because she thinks she caused it. She also can't get to talk to me while I'm in here. Secondly, I have to be somewhere and here I get to eat for free so it's as good as any other place. And lastly, until you came in here I didn't really have a reason to want to get out." She smiled at me again and went out with the guard to arrange my release.

She came back with the guard a few moments later. "Hey this is the same account that the other dame tried to bail you out from last night. What's the difference?" he asked.

"I like this dame," I said cheerfully.

MC drove me to the house where I picked up the car I'd rented. We went out to breakfast where I explained everything that had happened to her in more detail. When I told her about it before, it had simply been the quick version. This time I unburdened my soul. I told her everything. I told her how I felt about it. How I discovered what was going on and everything that had happened since.

She, in turn, told me everything that had gone on the previous day while I was in jail. Denise had spoken to Stewart several times and she'd gotten herself a lawyer. According to MC, Denise had gotten herself the most cut throat lawyer she could get. She'd gotten a man who'd won huge settlements for most of his clients because the woman she'd originally hired didn't have a track record of winning. Denise wanted to either force me to take her back or failing that destroy me.

  MC hugged me and told me that she'd be willing to help me in any way that I needed. I hugged her back and told her that I might take her up on her kind offer, but her just being with me was more help than she could imagine.

I drove back over to my house to get a few things out of the garage. I remembered that I couldn't get into the house without breaking something and it was a good thing too, because just as I got into the garage Denise and some guy got out of a car.

She stalked towards me with fire in her eyes. "Why the fuck did you let some woman bail you out, when you wouldn't let me?" she hissed. I wondered if this screaming bitch had always lurked inside of the woman I married.

I smiled and introduced myself to the man who was with her. He turned out to be her lawyer. He was very professional and extremely polite.

"Answer my fucking question," screamed Denise. "And just who was the bitch who bailed you out. Was it some slut that you've been fucking all along?"

"I'd invite you in," I said to the lawyer. "But I don't have access to the house right now. I'm sure you'll want to get some sort of court permission to let Denise get in and get her belongings, I'll try to arrange that for later today or early tomorrow."

"Thank you," he said. "That's quite reasonable. I didn't actually expect..."

"Will you stop ignoring me and answer my fucking questions," screamed Denise. Several of our neighbors were looking out through their windows. Ours was a very quiet neighborhood and profanity laden outbursts like hers usually resulted in having the police called.

"I know," I said, continuing to ignore Denise. "After dealing with Denise you expected there to be a lot of screaming and yelling. I'm not like that. She wasn't either until all of this started. I suppose you'll be having papers served on me some time soon. Here's my cell phone number where I can be reached. I'm giving you that so I can arrange to be somewhere that the papers can be served. I'm not really sure where I'll be staying."

"Aren't you going to be living in the house?" he asked.

"I sold the house," I said. "I'm the sole owner. My wife's name isn't on the mortgage. I just decided that if we weren't going to live here as a family, there's no use in having it." His eyes got huge and Denise started crying.

"Could you please answer some of her questions before she has a meltdown?" he said.

"Denise, MC bailed me out. I used money from our or my checking account. There's no woman that I'm screwing on the side. You were the only woman I've been involved with for the past ten years, Denise. I loved you until you fucked it up."

She looked up at me with tear filled eyes. For a few seconds the bitch she was trying to become had faded. "But we could still have all of the things we wanted," she said. "This was a mistake. I let my need to compete and to win at all costs control me."

"No Denise," I said. "We can't. We can't go back to where we were. There's no way to erase what I saw from my mind. There's no way for me to ever trust you again."

"Are you sure?" she asked softly. "Maybe, you're just still hurt and still angry at me. Maybe if we give it some time you'll change your mind."

"I don't think so Denise," I said.

"Well, can we talk about this?" she asked. "Can we just sit down like two reasonable people and work out our differences?"

"I'd like that," I said. "Let's meet in the park at one o' clock?"

"Why the park?" she asked.

"Just in case things get loud," I said. "Plus the park is somewhere public that we can both quickly just get up and walk away from."

"I'm hoping we can work this out," she said. "I'll see you soon." I walked away and got into my rental car. I called my boss and told him how well things were going.

"Don't be fooled," he told me. "Her lawyer and some other people have been sniffing around asking about how much you make and how much money was in your retirement plan all day yesterday. Stick with the plan. You also need to head for Vegas today. If you let her file, the legality of a lot of our moves will be even more questionable."

I went and met with the lawyer I'd hired. I gave him Denise's lawyer's info so he could contact him. I told him all of the things I was doing and he just laughed until he was blue in the face. I sensed that he'd been through it himself. "You do know that on the record I'm required to report all of the things you've told me to the court, right?" he asked. I nodded.

"I don't really care," I said. "All that matters to me is that my kids are fine. I like tuna."

"It's a good thing I have short term memory loss," he said. "I can't remember any of the stuff you just told me."

When I left the meeting with the lawyer, I headed for the park. When I got there I saw Denise sitting on the bench in the old bandstand. There were several people sitting and eating lunch on benches around the bandstand but no one close enough to hear what we were going to talk about.

I walked up and sat down on the opposite side of the bench from Denise. She noticed and frowned. "It seems like a lifetime ago that you were coming into the kitchen and molesting me while I tried to cook," she said. "Now, it's like I have some terrible disease that you don't want to catch."

She paused and looked at me, then continued speaking. "Perry, this all just went wrong. I think there's something wrong with me. I'm not acting like the woman I've been for most of our relationship. Most of all I'm so sorry for what I did. When I think back on it I realize how stupid I was. At first I tried to give you some of the blame. I kept telling myself that it was your fault because if you hadn't brought that stupid game home, none of this would have happened."

"I bought the stupid game because you were drifting away from me and I wanted to try something...anything to get back what we had. I loved you more than anything else, Denise. I couldn't just do nothing."

"I see that now," she said. "But what you don't see is all of the stuff around it. Perry you're an attractive man. I'm lucky to have you in my life. It wasn't always that way. Remember ten years ago when we first got together? I was the hot one. Everywhere we went people looked at me and wondered why that hot woman was with that nerd. I never told you this, but there were always guys hitting on me when we went out. You'd get up to go to the john and while you were gone, guys would slip me their phone numbers. Or men would come over and start conversations with me while you were there. But I never once took the bait. "

"I guess that my mind was on forever by then. I'd had my fill of guys who just wanted a quick fuck because I was hot. I could have had that any time. That was all I heard from the older women who waitressed with me. They all talked about how hot they used to be. Then one day they woke up and discovered that they weren't any more. And all they had to show for all of their hotness was a crappy one bedroom apartment that they shared with a cat. I didn't want to end up that way. I also noticed other women who were happier. They had homes and families and children and husbands who loved them."

"I realized that the difference between the happy women and the no longer hot women was the love. I looked at all of the guys that we used to hang out with and realized that though I'd had sex with a lot of those guys and probably could have again, none of them cared about me. There's a big difference between wanting to fuck someone and caring about them. Even then, the only person I sensed that caring from was you Perry. That's why I went after you and I'm so glad I did."

"I guess the problem is that lately the balance of power has changed. You've become more and more attractive over the years Perry. I've become a fat assed mom with sagging tits who still sees herself as that hot girl on the beach. Lately no one even notices me, but lots of the women around us are mentioning how hot you are. I think I really started to notice it back about three months ago at MC's celebration. It really hit home to me then how little you really needed me. You never did anything wrong Perry, it was me. You're still the same considerate, funny guy you were back then, but I guess I just needed something. It's why I started ordering you around and as you put it, started drifting away from you. I needed to make myself believe that I didn't need you."

"And while I did that, you were working as hard as you could to both take care of us and our kids and to keep me from drifting away. The video game was a great suggestion and it could have been perfect for us, but I ruined it. You even showed me just how much you still wanted me by what you wanted to win. You acted like having sex with me was something special, while I used it and only wanted things to degrade you. "

"And until the other day, I really didn't understand why you wanted anal sex with me so badly. I thought of it as just you wanting to have power over me. I saw it as you trying to force me to do something I didn't want to do. Then when you explained why you wanted it, I just wanted to cry because I was such a fool. I had no clue that you loved me that much, still."




Bringing Out the Bitch



"But Perry, there's something you need to know. I didn't have sex that way with Stewart to hurt you or to demean you, there's more to it than that. You also probably don't remember this, but you and I tried anal once a long time ago. Ten years ago in fact. It was on our honeymoon and you were drunk. I was willing then because I loved you so much that I'd have done anything for you. So, you're probably wondering why it didn't happen, huh? Think back, Perry," she said.

"Perry, it didn't happen because your dick is too big to go into my ass. You nearly split me in two back then. It was so painful that I never even considered trying it again. Now that we're older, I know that we could have started out sticking a finger up there and then two, or getting one of those tapered butt plugs to gradually open me up. But honestly while you were thinking of it as a way of having something on me that was yours alone, I looked at it as holding onto to something that gave me power over you. "

"The thing with Stewart, I know it hurt you Perry, but I didn't mean for it to. I just wanted to beat you at that game so badly. Again, it was just a way to have something to crow about," she said.

"And when Stewart and I were alone playing the games, I guess I just let things go too far. We started out talking about the bet. Then he wanted to know what the stakes were. The next thing I knew he was telling me how since he was making sure I didn't lose that he deserved a share of the winnings. When I won the first time, Perry, you made me feel so good. I mean you've eaten me out before but that night was just so special. I should have realized that it wasn't as special for you when you didn't want to have sex with me afterward. I guess I figured that you were trying to save your energy for your long run that next morning."

"The next day, I had to give Stew a blow job for his help in beating you. The first thing I noticed was that he came almost as soon as I put my mouth on his little pee-pee. That's the only thing I could call it because as physically large as Stewart is, his dick is barely bigger than our five year old son's. It was all I could do to keep from laughing as he sprayed his sperm all over my face. I think that was his first sexual experience. " 

"Anyway, I was even more determined to win again. Stewart told me that it would be even more difficult but he knew a way that I could do it. He told me that it would cost me though and he named his price. He wanted to have actual intercourse with me. I refused. I wasn't letting him anywhere near me again. But as the week wore on I realized that there was no way I could win. You are too smart at figuring out those puzzles. I hate losing at anything, so I gave in."

  "Except for the shame I felt, it was extremely forgettable. Stewart's big plan was to cheat. I spent most of the time watching how you solved the puzzles. Then when you struggled to get past the battles, I didn't. But Perry, I didn't really have to fight the battles like you did. You see if you got shot, the game ended. But I couldn't get killed. I have a cheat code that gives me unlimited health. So even though I'd get shot hundreds of times, I didn't die. Stewart told me what I'd have to do to win and what he wanted if I did. I just shrugged my shoulders. I figured that having him stick that little thing in my ass couldn't hurt at all. I really had no idea of what I was doing to us, by letting him have it."

  "Stewart had told me that it would be close and it was. You solved the final puzzle and I could only watch what you'd done and then use my secret cheat code that let me bypass one puzzle. That got me to the end of the game and the final battle just seconds after you did. I battled my way through by just shooting everyone in sight, while you had to hide behind things and slowly work your way through and I won the game. When I collected my winnings afterward, again you were a great and gracious loser. I'm telling you I had an orgasm before you ever touched my pussy. When you were sucking my toes, I wanted to be pregnant again I felt the way I did before we had both of our kids, But again, after you ate me you didn't want to have sex with me."

  "Perry, I wanted you so badly. Then Monday you came in and caught us. I was in shock. None of it seemed real. It was as if real life was just part of the video game. Perry, none of this is worth what I put you through. None of this is worth half of what we're giving up. I guess what we need to figure out is how we get past this. What can we do? What can I do to make this up to you?"

  "Denise, that's just it," I began. "All I ever wanted was us. That's gone. There was never any need to be attractive. You loved me when I was the boney nerd with the giant glasses. I loved you until I saw you with Stewart. The bodies and the physical things don't matter. I fell in love with a woman who smiled at me and loved me when others laughed at me. It was all us. No one else mattered. You gave all of that up when you fucked Stewart. The only thing we need to do is figure out what the best thing for the kids is. We need to figure out custody for the kids and how best to take care of them."

  "Perry, this isn't what I wanted to hear," she said. "I came here to find out what we have to do to get back together. I don't want to hear that shit. Now you start thinking again. Come up with something we can do to fix this." She was starting to get upset again and her voice was rising.

  "I'm sorry, Denise, but this all just too much for me. Acting like a bitch and screaming won't fix this. We're never going to get the trust back. The only thing we can do is to start the next chapter in our lives as co-parents and perhaps someday we can be friends when the sting of this has all gone away."

  "Co-parents!" she screamed. She got up off of the bench and glared at me. "Friends! I don't want to be your fucking friend. I'll give you two days to get your head out of your ass and then we're going to war. If you force my hand, I'll take everything you have. I'll take all of your money, all of your savings, the house and I'll even take your little car." She was screaming so loudly and cursing so much that the people around us were all staring at her.

  "Two days from now, Perry, one way or another you're going to get fucked. Either with me in our bed, or you're going to get fucked over in the divorce. You'll be sleeping on a bare floor in a shelter eating tuna straight out of the can, while you work your ass to death for me," she spat. "And even then, I'll probably be fucking Stewart or someone else. Not because I want to, but just to spite you."

  "Then when you retire, I'll get most of your retirement package or at least half of it so you still won't have anything. Do I make myself clear? And another thing Perry, if I even hear about you being mixed up with another woman, I'll destroy you." Then she knocked over the bench and stormed off to her car.

  I went to Las Vegas that afternoon. I stayed in a nice hotel room and even gambled a bit. The next morning when I got ready to fly back home there was a knock on my door. The man standing outside of it came into the room as soon as I opened it. He gave me a file. Most of the documents were on official Hotel letterhead. The documents detailed how I'd lost nearly two hundred thousand dollars.

  "Where'd I get that kind of money," I asked. He just smiled and looked at me.

  "You sold your house and cashed in your retirement," he said. "Then you lost all of the money gambling here. Your boss, Justin, is my cousin. He lost nearly a million bucks to that bitch he married a few years ago. He arranged all of this. We even got one of our cousins to move into your house for the summer. You need to wrap this up before school starts though. The kids involved, my niece and nephew will probably need to be in their own place so they can go to school." I smiled and nodded my head.

  I was so happy that I decided to take another day in Vegas. I saw a show, ate a lot of rich food and even smiled at a few pretty women. I wasn't ready to meet anyone, but I needed the practice because someday I was sure I'd start dating again.

  All that was left was the confrontation and it came far sooner than I expected. The morning I got back, I stopped by the office to thank Justin for all of his help and give him a progress report. My dad was due back with the boys that afternoon. One of the things that really surprised me was that Denise had never asked about the kids.

  As I parked my rental car in the company lot and dreamed about my Mustang, Denise's lawyer appeared. There was another guy with him and Denise came up behind them as well.

  "So are we going home?" she brayed. I just smiled and shook my head. Her eyes darkened and her face got red. She looked like a boiler that was about to explode.

  The guy accompanying Denise and her lawyer stepped up and handed me a folder. "You've been served," he said.

  Denise's lawyer looked really apologetic as he spoke to me. "I realize that this wasn't a good way to do this," he said. "Your wife insisted. This seems like too much of an ambush to me. Perhaps you could bring your lawyer to my office and we could have a meeting to discuss this calmly and perhaps begin to talk about a settlement or a division of property."

  "I warned you, Perry," said Denise acidly. "Whenever you're ready to listen to reason, I can make all of this go away. But you should know that your court date for the assault charges is coming up too. You may be in jail soon. I can make that go away too."

  She looked at me like a cat that has a mouse cornered. "One way or another, I'm moving back into my house, soon," she said.

  Later that afternoon I met with Denise and her lawyer. My lawyer was there but I did most of the talking. There were other people there as well on both sides. Denise had brought Stewart and his friend along. I'd brought along another friend of Justin's.

  As soon as Stewart saw the guy I'd brought he got extremely nervous.

  "Are you ready to give in?" asked Denise as she sat down.

  "Let's get started," I said.

  "Well," began her lawyer. "We're petitioning for divorce on the grounds of mental cruelty and ..." I burst out laughing and everyone looked towards me and my lawyer.

  "What's so funny?" asked Denise's lawyer.

  "Let's go back fifteen seconds ago," I said. "Your client was begging me to stay married to her. Does that sound like I've been cruel to her mentally or otherwise?" He looked over at Denise and she was fit to be tied.

  "Okay," I said. "Denise, I thought that you were going to file under irreconcilable differences and I was willing to give you that. That way no one would be embarrassed and we wouldn't have to bring Stewart into this and ruin his reputation as well. But I guess if you're trying to fight fire with bullshit, I'm going to have to introduce a dose of truth here. I'm changing my counter-suit to infidelity."

  Denise's lawyer looked at me crazily and then back to her.

  "You didn't know this did you?" I asked him. "Your client didn't tell you why I'm divorcing her did she?"

  "Well," he sputtered. "This is a no fault state and you don't have any proof do you?"

  I held up my iPhone and played the video from the nanny cams. His eyes rolled back and he looked at Denise.

  "I need to confer with my client," he said. He and Denise stepped outside. We heard a bunch of yelling and screaming through the door. I smiled at Stewart who looked very nervous.

  When Denise and her lawyer came back in he sat down and said, "We'd be willing to go for irreconcilable differences. "

  "I'm not sure I am anymore," I said. "After all of the pain she caused me maybe everyone needs to know what kind of woman she is. But let's table that for now. Go on with the rest of your petition."

  "My client wants the house and primary custody of the children. She seeks child support and spousal support. She wants her car and 60 percent of the savings and checking accounts as well as the investments and half of your retirement package. She'd also like to suggest that you go to couples counseling to try to resolve your differences," I started laughing again.

  The lawyer looked at me again. "What is it this time?" he asked.

  "You know that once you've walked in and found the woman you love fucking some other guy it really changes you. You end up going crazy for a while. All I can say is that I wanted closure. I wanted to get away from her and start over again. So, no."

  "No, what?" asked Denise rising to her feet. "What the fuck did you do?"

  "I sold my house," I said. I sold it before you filed for the divorce. I also took all of the money out of the savings account. I figured I could go to Vegas and triple or at least double it and pay you off and we could go our separate ways and start over again. You with some guy who wouldn't mind you fucking around on him and me with a woman who could be faithful to me..."

  "You didn't triple the money though did you?" she asked.

  "Not even close," I said. "Never gamble when you're upset."

  "How much of the money did you lose?" asked her lawyer.

  "All of it," I said. "I still owe the casino several thousand dollars."

  "What about cashing in your retirement plan," asked the lawyer. "Surely my client is entitled to something. "

  "I haven't been working there long enough to be fully vested," I said. "And I was so upset about what Denise did that when I walked out of there, I told Justin to shove it, so he fired me. Since I wasn't fully vested, it isn't worth much. I had to sell my car to start paying the casino back. So right now all we own is Denise's car which we still owe money on. Without a job or a place to stay I'm not sure how we're going to keep up with her payments. The kids, who Denise hasn't even asked about, are staying with my parents."

  "You fucking idiot," screamed Denise. "We'll have to start all over again. What I did was stupid, but this is worse."

  "So the two of you will attend counseling and try to put your marriage back on track?" asked her lawyer, trying to win just one point.

  "No," I said. Denise sat at the table with her arms folded across her chest.

  "What am I going to do?" she said.

  "You're going to fight me for custody of our kids," I said.

  "Why?" she asked. "Why can't we just get back together again? We both fucked up."

  "No Denise, you fucked up," I said. "I just reacted to what you'd done." She started crying then and calling me all kinds of names.

  "I can't even get a job if I'm in jail," I said.

  "If you agree to try to save our marriage I'll call Stew off," she said.

  "Don't worry about it," I said. "Stewart is in more trouble than I am. And actually I have more control over him than you do. The gentleman I brought with me is the Dean of Stewart's college. He's tired of Stewart's shit, but he owes me a favor. If Stewie doesn't drop the charges, he's expelled. As in he wasted all of his parents' money and can never go back to the university again."

  "But she told me to," said Stewart suddenly. "I wanted to drop the charges and just move on but she told me that if I didn't she'd claim I attacked her."

   For the next two days we negotiated. The way it all ended was that Stew dropped the charges. Denise and I agreed to divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences and we'd both get jobs and work out a way to have joint custody of the kids. We each got apartments with the remainder of the money left in our checking account and then closed it and kept our finances separate. We'd estimate exactly how much it cost for all of the boys' expenses and each pay half.

  Denise managed to get herself a waitressing job. It was hard for her. She hadn't worked in ten years and nearly a hundred pounds. I even pretended to care when she whined about having to go to work every day. For about two months everything was going well. I called her one morning, to tell her that the woman I'd sold the house to was putting it back on the market. I told her that I was going to try to get another mortgage and buy my house back. She started crying and told me that was great news. I figured that she'd take it hard, but not that she'd cry over it.

  "I'm sorry Denise," I said. "This will be good for the boys. They'll have their old rooms back and you can come and visit them as often as you like. Of course, if you want them to they can still live with you every other week, but I really think it would be better for them to live in a house with a yard and have pets and the pool, don't you?"

  "It's not that," she said. "I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant." I went into shock.

  "I know this is hard Denise," I said. "We'll just have to work a few more hours and we can take care of three kids just as easily as two. If we were still together it would be great news."

  "You don't understand," she said. "The timing is all wrong. More than anything in the world I wish this was your baby, but it isn't. My life is ruined."

  "Have you told Stewart yet?" I asked.

  "I'm going to today," she said. "But Perry, he doesn't ever have to know. No one ever has to know. Couldn't we...?"

  "No Denise," I said. "It wouldn't be right. There's been too much lying and hiding things already. Look where it got us."

"But I don't want to be with him Perry," she said. "I want to be with you."

"Denise, right now that just isn't possible," I said. "Who knows what may happen in the future. A year ago I never saw us living apart or you carrying someone else's baby, but that's where we are now."

"And it's all because of that fucking video game system," she said. "Video games ruined my life."

"No Honey," I said sadly. "It wasn't the games. You not keeping your legs closed ruined both of our lives. "

Things got both better and worse over the next few months. My summer boarders moved back to their home state and I got my house back. Denise told Stewart about the baby and he denied that it was his and lawyered up. I told Denise that I'd be willing to help her through the pregnancy until she could get a DNA test to confirm the paternity of the child.

The boys moved in with me full time because as her pregnancy advanced, Denise found herself less and less able to take care of them. She still visited them often. I convinced MC, who was always around me anyway, to simply move in and care for the boys, full time. She arranged her fall school schedule so that she'd take her classes while they were in school.

Denise also lost her job because she simply couldn't stand up or move around quickly enough while pregnant. Stewart grudgingly allowed her to move into the basement with him. He only did it on the urging of his parents who were overjoyed at the possibility of their first grandchild.

He and Denise argued like cats and dogs. On the other hand, MC was beginning to act more like a wife to me than anything else. She did far more than take care of the boys. She took care of me as well. She cooked, she cleaned and she spent time with me.

It was actually MC who finally moved the game system into storage in the garage. I came home one day and it was not in the living room. The two monitors, the system unit, the gaming chairs, the headsets and everything else related to the system, was simply gone. The sofa and love seat were moved so that they were directly in front of our flat screen TV. It was a far cozier arrangement so a close knit group of people could just watch movies together.

"Put the steaks on the grill," said MC, as I stood there looking at the space the game system had occupied. "Everyone is waiting for you. The kids can't go swimming until we go out back to watch them. I got a bootleg DVD of the Avengers for us to watch after dinner."




Bringing Out the Bitch



"Um, where's the...?" I began. She crossed the floor and silenced me by putting a finger over my lips.

"Every time you looked at that thing, it made you sad," she said. "It's been months now. It's time to move on."

MC had on a swim suit with a long shirt that was apparently one of mine over it. I smelled just a hint of perfume on her. For the first time in months, I let some of my anger over what Denise had done go.

That evening was perfect. It was a family night. It was the kind of thing that I hadn't done in so long. Ever since Denise had started pulling herself away from me and the boys, I'd been trying with all of my heart to get her back. The boys settled onto the couch with their popcorn, which only left the love seat for MC and me. We ended up squeezing in together and the contact was heavenly. She put one of her arms around my waist and her head on my shoulder and sighed.

Like most men, I absolutely hated the idea of snuggling on a couch with a young beautiful woman who was interested in me. I continued to pine away over my fat assed, bitchy wife who cheated on me. (For those of you who missed it - that was sarcasm.) Seriously though, we didn't kiss or anything that night but sitting there with our arms around each other felt so good that I didn't see much of the movie.

As late summer turned to fall and MC and the kids returned to school, we didn't see much of Denise unless we went to visit her and her new family. This pregnancy was harder on Denise and she often blamed it on my absence. "That fucking Stewart is useless," she brayed. "He's going to be the worst father ever. I'm a thirty six year old pregnant woman. Why the fuck am I sleeping in a basement? I don't have anything."

Denise was becoming more and more bitchier as time went on. The kind and caring woman I loved was gone. MC and Stewart's parent's often told us that she was only a bitch because she was pregnant. I wasn't so sure. I think that during the time that we were together I was always so busy trying to please Denise that she never had anything to bitch about. My putting my foot down and refusing to take her back really had brought out the bitch in her.

Denise and Stewart constantly argued about everything. They clearly hated each other and blamed each other for the state of their lives. Denise hated Stewart because in her eyes, he'd cost her our marriage and her lifestyle. Stewart believed that Denise had cost him the ability to socialize with all of the other nerds and hold his Dungeons and Dragons parties in the basement.

  His parents had grown tired of supporting Stewart over the years. His father had begun telling Stewart that he should be nicer to Denise because if it hadn't been for the baby they'd have kicked him out of the house.

Stewart's parents were also treating my kids like their grandkids. It wasn't unusual for me to drop by with MC and the kids to visit Denise and have the kids run to MC's parents for hugs and treats. They were beginning to look at the two of us and pass knowing glances too. MC would always turn two or three shades redder when she noticed it.

In fact, we were all sitting on the back porch talking about a subject that bothered MC's dad when we found out the tragic news. MC's dad had called us to come over because he was fed up. He made small talk for a while as the kids rolled around on the grass with his wife.

"So Mary Claire, does he know that you can't..." he asked casually.

"Yes dad," she said quietly. "Perry knows that I can't have kids, he doesn't mind."

"So when are the two of you getting hitched?" he smiled.

MC as usual turned bright red and looked away from her dad. "Dad, we're not like..."

Before she could finish he pointed down and towards us. "So why are the two of you always holding hands and stuff, then?" he smiled.

"I just don't want him to get lost," she said. "This porch is pretty big."

"Yeah sure," he said. "Surprisingly, until now no one has ever gotten lost on this porch. Maybe I should have a map or a chart of the porch drawn up and posted on the wall so no one gets lost." We all laughed but MC and I didn't let go of each other's hands.

"The reason I asked you guys to come over here is because I'm fed up. MC you're twenty five years old. You have your Associates degree and you're working towards your Bachelors. You have a job, your own apartment that you don't live in anymore and whether you see it or not you have a family and a man who loves you. Don't deny it Perry, I've seen the way you guys look at each other. I don't want to talk about the two of you. I'm proud of you, Mary Claire," as he said this, he reached out and gently touched her cheek.

"But I want to be proud of your brother too," he snapped. "That boy is thirty two years old and he still acts like a fucking teenager. He's been in college for fourteen God damned years and I'm tired of supporting him. I'm pulling the plug and I need you two to help me do it. MC since you're never at your place anyway, would you let me sublet your apartment for your brother and Denise? I don't want my grandbaby living in that damned basement. And Perry you're already like my son, so technically that makes Stew your brother in law. Could you get him a job where you work? I mean, anything you could get him even sweeping floors would be better than nothing. The boy has been in college for a lifetime. He has to be able to do something."

It was then that a very pregnant Denise waddled out of the house holding a piece of paper in her hand and screaming.

"That fucking Bastard," she screamed loudly. She was crying and cursing up a storm. As I watched, I noticed that MC immediately crossed to the boys to try to cover their ears from their mother's tirade. She looked at Denise and reminded her that the kids didn't need to hear that kind of language.

Denise broke down and dropped the paper on the ground. MC's parent tried to comfort Denise.

I picked up the note and after glancing at it, I was shocked, so I asked MC to take the boys inside the house and get them something to drink. She offered them soda and their eyes lit up.

I read the note aloud after they left.

"Denise, I can't take this shit any more. Not one more fucking day. I wish that I'd never laid eyes on you. You are a first class bitch and you've really ruined my life. I don't understand why Perry was so upset at the thought of losing you. The way I see it now, I did him a favor. And you'll notice that he hasn't wasted any time replacing you with my sister. For her part, she's always had a crush on him, remember her party? She may have been drunk, but she was telling the truth.

  Mary Claire now has the perfect life and the perfect man that she's dreamed of. They used to be yours. But while she's happy in her heavenly life, I'm trapped with the Harpy from Hell. My parents are no help. They moved you into the basement with me without ever asking me if that was what I wanted. They've tried to mold us into some sort of pseudo couple for reasons that I can't begin to fathom. This isn't the way I wanted my life to go. I don't want a child. I don't want to be a father. I don't want a wife and I especially don't want you.

You aren't even the type of woman that appeals to me. You're fat, you're unattractive and as mentioned before you're a bitch. Even if you had other qualities (I haven't discovered them if you do) one thing sticks out. Even if I loved you, and I don't, my parents don't seem to realize that I couldn't ever trust you. Let's face the truth. Perry is a good looking guy. He's the daddy type. He has a great job and he loved you. You were married to him for over ten years and he busted his ass trying to support you and you still cheated on him. How could I expect you not to do the same thing to me? I don't even think the baby is mine. I'm sure aliens have planted my DNA in your womb as some kind of experiment.

I also don't intend to work myself into an early grave like Perry or my dad. I'm not the worker bee type. I have no intention of working like a slave to support you and your kids just because of two sloppy fucks and a blow job. I'm far too smart for that. (See, college has taught me something) So, it is with a not so heavy heart and a much lighter step that I get the fuck out of here and head for greener pastures. Don't bother looking for me. I won't be anywhere that you look. And tell my dad he can be happy now. I'm finally out of his basement.

Sincerely, Stewart."

As I finished the note Denise just started bawling. MC's parents tried to console her and tell her that everything was going to be alright, but she wasn't buying it. Life has this funny way of biting you in the ass when you do bad things. But I have to say in this case things ended up the right way even after all of the lying and scheming. A few bad things happened but we moved on from them.

"So," I said, looking at the couple. "Do you want to buy that gaming system or not?"

The woman was obviously reconsidering it. The man was beginning to nod his head. At about that time their eyes were drawn to a female form as she came out of the house with two small boys trailing behind her. "Mommy, I want to go in the pool," said my son Johnny. She picked him up and gently kissed him on the nose.

"You have to wait a while, Johnny. You just had lunch," she said.

"That child called her mommy. So, you and your wife got back together?" asked the woman. "She doesn't look fat to me. What did she do, go on a radical diet?"

Before I could say anything a beat up and sputtering 1980's Yugo with obvious signs of rust and body damage pulled into the yard. The windshield was cracked and all of the wheels on the car had excessive camber, as if the car was beyond its weight limitations.

  An ugly fat woman got out of the car, leaving it running. A much bigger, fatter man with no chin and huge glasses got out of the passenger side of the car and started looking around my yard at the things I was selling.

Both of their eyes settled on the gaming system at the same time.

"I married MC," I said to the couple I was talking to. "The woman that just got out of that car, if you can call it that, is Denise. I wonder what she's pissed about now."

As we watched, Denise ran around the yard until she found a baseball bat. She reached into her purse and brought out some crumpled bills which she handed to MC.

"Here's fifty bucks," she said loudly. "It's mine right?" MC smiled and nodded.

  "No," screamed Stewart, hysterically.

"Fuck you, Stewart," hissed Denise. "I bought this piece of shit so it's mine now." As we watched she raised the baseball bat over her head and brought it down on the gaming system as hard as she could. She repeated her action until chunks of plastic and circuit boards were all over the yard. Denise was laughing maniacally as she destroyed the once state of the art gaming system.

"Ruin my life will you?" she screamed as she landed yet another blow on the unit.

"I guess you guys will have to buy something else," I smiled. "I think the game system has been sold."

"Wait," said the woman. "I can see now that you married MC, but how did Denise and Stewart end up back together?"

We sat back down at the table and I told them the rest of the story. "Over the next few months, things happened and nothing ended the way we foresaw it. Denise had her baby. She had a little girl who unfortunately looks just like Stewart. DNA confirmed the child's paternity. She's still living in the basement with her daughter but as you can see, they're not alone.

About a month after she had the baby, Stewart called his mom and dad and pleaded with them to bail him out. He'd run out of money less than a hundred miles away from home and had gotten caught trying to steal food. He'd gotten into even more trouble when the sheriff tried to arrest him. Stewart had attempted to run and accidentally knocked one of the sheriff's deputies down. Even thought it was an accident, it's a felony. MC's parents had to pay a lot of money to get Stewart released. So now Stewart, Denise and Betty, their daughter, are all not so happily residing in the basement. Denise rarely visits our kids anymore because they're kind of afraid of her. They started calling MC mommy soon after we got married.

The jail time only made things worse because with Stewart having a felony conviction on his resume, it's even harder for him to get a job. Denise watches him like a hawk. His parents insisted on them getting married to give his daughter his name. They still argue constantly. But things really are looking up for them. Denise got another waitressing job. It only pays minimum, but most of the waitresses take home a lot of money in tips. Denise is such a bitch though that she rarely brings home any tips at all.

She recently bought Stewart a push lawn mower and he goes all over the neighborhood cutting the grass for their neighbors. Of course, he has to compete with most of the neighborhood kids to do it but one of the things he studied in college was marketing. He's planning on expanding into shoveling snow during the upcoming winter and perhaps raking leaves during the fall.

MC came over and brought me another Pepsi. She leaned down and kissed me and went back to the boys.

"So things turned out great for you?" asked the guy. I nodded my head.

"Buying that game system was the smartest thing I ever did," I said. Right then Denise's car stopped sputtering and died. She stopped slamming the bat into what was left of the game system and tried to start the car. It refused to start. She just started pounding on it and crying.

The end.