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Big Head, Little Head

By: woodmanone



First there is no sex in this story. If that is what you want, I suggest you look elsewhere. I don't know if the story belongs in a loving wives or romance category. No matter what category it goes into it's either a good read or it isn't. I haven't got an editor, it is very hard for me to ask someone to do all the work that there is in editing. Hope you enjoy the story.

I have a theory that I will bring forward in this story. As usual with my stories, it is based on true life. The happenings described took place several years ago (I don't like to think how many) while I was in college. The story got longer than I intended, but the characters took on a life of their own and wouldn't let me stop. Comments and suggestions are welcome. Thanks and enjoy.

*

My name is Rich, actually it's Richard, and at the time of my tale I had just turned 22. At 6 feet 1 inch and about 200 pounds, I was about average in size and looks. I was and am a decent looking guy; I wasn't turn your head and stare handsome, but you wouldn't turn away in fright. I was a senior in college; studying business administration with a minor in psychology. It goes without saying that a back ground in psychology would be of great help in my chosen career in sales. I wasn't sure what to sell at that point, but selling is what I wanted to do. I felt it was the quickest way to make enough money to get a "take this job and shove it" fund. The name I gave my fund is courtesy of Johnny Paycheck, a country music star at the time of the story. A 'take this job and shove it" fund is pretty much what the title says. If I had this fund in reserve, I could tell my boss to "take this job and shove it" and not worry about money. I know, maybe a stupid idea; but I was young and I knew everything.

I decided while I was in college that a fraternity would help maximize the party experience that I wanted to sample. The networking possible with the frat alumni could also be a big help after graduation. I pledged and joined a local frat and became an upstanding member of the party scene. My frat brothers were just that, frat brothers. We were all friends and a very few were close friends. Most of the guys were friends because of the frat. The only time we hung out was at fraternity activities; our private lives were pretty much private.

I had been out of town on a hunting trip which ended early due to a snow storm. None of the animals I was hunting were stupid enough to come out of their cozy dens. I was the smart one as I was sitting out in near zero temps waiting for them. (And they say man is the smartest mammal). Anyway, I came back to town on Saturday, just in time for a sorority dance being held that night. I should have stayed gone.

Our "sister" sorority, Delta Zeta, was holding a king and queen type dance with voting to determine who would be the king and queen of the dance. The frat was obligated to go as one of the Deltas was running for queen and one of our brothers for king. If we didn't show up in numbers, the Delta and our brother would not be elected. According to the Deltas this was the worst thing that could happen, except maybe the total destruction of the world. 

I had planned to be hunting and had not gotten a date for this dance. The president of my frat heard I was back in town and called me. I don't know how he knew I was back. Chuck, the pres, told me I needed to come to the dance to vote for the Delta and our guy that were running for king and queen.

"Don't have a date, Chuck," I told him. "Didn't get one because I wasn't going to be here. It's too late to find a date; the dance starts in 6 hours. Guess I will have to pass. Have a good time Chuck"

"We have a date for you Rich. Emily from the Deltas didn't plan on being here either, but her plans fell thru also. You guys can go together." Chuck was being very helpful.

"I don't know her except to nod at in school. She has never spoken 10 words to me, even at the mixers we have with Delta. Why would she want to go with me? Why would I want to take her?" 

"It's not a real date. You each pay for your own ticket and once you get there and vote you don't have to stay together. She wants to go to support her sorority sister for queen. You should go to support your brother."

"Alright Chuck, enough with the guilt trip already. I'll go." It was obvious I wasn't going to get out of this. I could see all kinds of problems with this date. These types of dates are never as simple as planned. I thought it was a disaster waiting to happen.

"Good pick her up at 7:00 and you can be at the dance by 7:45. Walk in cast your ballots and then you don't have to see or talk to each other until time to leave. Here is her address, and remember 7:00."

"Yes sir, Mr. President, sir." 

I had a few hours before my command performance so I decided to eat, clean myself up, and then take a short nap to recharge my batteries. I had driven for almost 12 hours to get back home. Maybe I should have stayed overnight somewhere and gotten home later; then the coming fiasco at the dance would not have occurred. As I lay down to nap, I looked at the clock and saw I had about 4 hours before I had to pick up Emily. As usual "Murphy's Law" reared its ugly head. I has set my alarm to wake me in 3 hours; this would give me plenty of time to get dressed and pick up my date. Of course the alarm didn't go off. When I finally woke up, I realized I only had 30 minutes to get dressed and get to Emily's. I didn't have her phone digits so there was no way to call her. Rushing to my car, I was carrying my sports coat, tie, and trying to button my shirt. If I had a little luck, I wouldn't be more than 15 to 20 minutes late.

AT 7:20, I stopped in front of Emily's place; jumped out of the car and sprinted to her front door. Emily was not a happy camper at the moment. She had been crying a little and was totally pissed off.

"Where have you been? You could have called, I been sitting here thinking that you decided not to come. Why aren't you dressed? You can't go looking like that. Now we are going to be very late." All of this in rapid fire with no room left for me to answer. 

"Shut up. I'm here now so let's go. My alarm didn't go off, it wasn't intentional and I am sorry. If we hurry we will only be a few minutes late. They won't count the votes until about 9:00 so we have plenty of time." All of this to defend myself, with no room left for her to interrupt.

We looked at each other for just a second and then went out to the car. She really wanted to berate me some more, but could see I would not put up with anymore of her crap. We got to the dance at the lodge hall and as we walked from the parking lot, I finished putting myself together. Got my shirt buttoned, tucked in, tied my tie, and put on my jacket; all before getting to the entrance. I was proud of my accomplishment. Emily wasn't so proud; she kept muttering that I should have been dressed when I picked her up and other things. I ignored her mumbles.

I handed our tickets to the pretty little freshman at the door and we entered the main hall. We got our ballots, marked them, and put them in the ballot box. Not one minute after that Emily left me to go to one of her sorority's tables. Getting her to the dance was apparently all I was needed for and I had been dismissed. It didn't bother me a bit; it was just a little sudden. Oh well, life goes on. Where's the booze? That was my next thought and I headed for the bar. Thinking maybe I owed Emily a bit more of an apology, I got two drinks and walked over to her table.

Setting one of those fruity type drinks in front of Emily I said, "I really am sorry for being so late. Again it wasn't intentional and I didn't mean to insult you. Please forgive me." Pretty nice of me, I thought.

Emily nodded her head, gave me a small smile and picked up her drink. I was forgiven and felt better. Her sisters began to talk about me as I walked away. Asshole was probably the nicest thing I heard. Still don't understand why they were upset. The deal was Emily and I come to the dance and vote. We got to the dance and voted, mission accomplished. What was all the static for?

I later found out (about a month later) that Emily had a small crush on me. She was shy and that's why she didn't talk to me very much; sure didn't sound shy when she was chewing me a new one. Our date was to be her chance to get over her shyness and get me to notice her. Just a tip, leaving me at the door after about 5 seconds was not the way to make me notice her. The sisters felt I hadn't shown the proper respect by being late, showing up half dressed, and telling her to shut up. That was what the static was about.

Looking around and spotting my fraternity's table, I headed over and helped myself to the bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on the table. Then I said hello to the brothers and their dates. I was the only one alone, except for Emily. No problem, there were enough other "dates of convenience" at the dance that I would have plenty of dance partners if I chose. Really, I was thinking about having a good time and not too much about hooking up. Remember, I hadn't planned to be there so I didn't much care.

I need to introduce one of my frat bothers here. It's important to the story that you know more than just his name. 

Please meet Steve, better known as "Bear". He was more a force of nature than a person. Bear stood 6 feet 6 and checked in at 255 pounds or there about. He wasn't small man. Never a shirking violet, he was usually involved in whatever uproar was going on. In fact, he was the cause of the uproar most of the time. Bear and I were frat brothers and only really good friends under the influence of alcohol. We were friends a lot during those days.

He was actually a nice guy and a good man to have at your back or your front or on your side. However, Bear did drink a lot and his personality would change as he drank. At first he was very friendly and fun loving, a good guy to party with. The more he drank, he changed and became an angry person. Believe me; Bear angry is not something you want to see. Especially if you are the one he is upset at. If he continued to drink, he became very quite; this was the dangerous time. He could go off at any second and for no logical reason. One time, he was in his quite mood and I saw him rip a door off its' hinges because it didn't open as quickly as he thought it should. When Bear was in his quite mood he was to be avoided as much as possible.

I was at the frat table talking and drinking with my brothers. Bear was in his jovial state and very funny. He got a calculating look in his eyes and stared at me for a minute. Bear came over to my side of the table, put his arm around my shoulders, and said he had a favor to ask of me.

"What do you need Bear?" I had seen him looking at me and I didn't like the sound of this at all. Trouble is coming; I could feel it like a cold rain down my shirt collar.

He explained that his girl Janet likes to dance, but he couldn't fast dance. At most of the parties or dances they went to, Bear spent the evening chasing other guys away from her. She would get angry at him because he wouldn't let her dance. 

"I want you to dance the fast ones with Janet and I will take care of the slow dances," Bear explained. That way she will get to dance a lot and he would not have to worry because he trusted me. You're not really on a date, so you're a free agent tonight. What do you say, Rich."

"Bear, Janet doesn't care very much for me since I quit dating her friend Sue. In fact she told we to go to hell and do it quickly. I don't think I can be your wing man in this.

There were a lot of things running thru my head. First of all, Janet was a tease of the greatest magnitude. She had maybe the best body at school and liked to show it off. Picking a victim. She would date the guy for a few weeks, lead him around by the nose with an unspoken promise of carnal knowledge and then drop him and move on to her next sucker. She didn't like me because she hadn't been able to snare me in her trap yet. In addition I had dumped her friend, Sue. Sue was just like Janet; not quite as sexy but not bad. I dumped Sue before she could dump me. Next, Janet liked to flirt and come on to other guys even when on a date. That was a fight waiting to happen with most men, but especially with Bear. She would be this little innocent thing and act like she didn't know what she was doing. Bullshit, she knew exactly what she was doing and what she was causing. She was a female snake.

"No problem, buddy. I already talk to her and she said it sounded good. Her exact words were, I get to dance with two good looking guys tonight," Bear informed me. 

"Okay Bear, I will help you keep an eye on your girl. Remember, you asked me to dance with her. Don't get all bent out of shape when you see me doing what you ask me to do. You have a tendency to react badly to things when you get drunk. I'm on your side buddy just remember that. Okay?" 

"No problem and I appreciate you helping me. You're my buddy and my brother, I knew I could count on you and I'll buy all your drinks tonight "

Something told me I should just leave and go home, but I didn't listen. The whole time Bear and I were talking, Janet was standing on the other side of the table watching us with a predatory gleam in her eye. Her little mind had a plan and I was the focus of that plan. I knew she would tease me, flirt with me, and do whatever she could to get to me. She thought of me as a puzzle she hadn't solved yet. I would be strong and not fall for her shit.

The first three songs were of the faster type, Janet and I danced to all three. There was no dirty dancing and we hardly touched each other. Bear took over for the next couple of songs as they were slow ones. I watched them dance and hug and hump to the songs; She really had her hooks into Bear. The poor slob doesn't have an idea that he is just the latest flavor of the month. He is in love. 

Trouble started about an hour later. Bear had gone outside to partake of some moonshine someone had brought. Janet and I were jumping around to the music; the song ended and the next one was a slow one. I took Janet's arm and started back to the table to wait for Bear. 

"I want to dance, I don't want to sit and wait for Bear." Janet said as she pulled away from me. "If you won't dance with me, I'll find someone else."

"Janet if you do that, Bear will be really upset. You don't want to hurt Bear, do you?"

"I don't care. If he cared about me, he wouldn't still be outside. I'm going to dance."

"Okay, I'll dance with you until Bear comes back." Bad move on my part, but what could I do? If she danced with another guy, Bear may kill him and turn on me because I didn't stop it. So I danced.

At first I held Janet like you did in dance class in grade school, almost at arm's length. She let that go for about 10 seconds and then plastered her body to me and I could feel her rubbing up against me. See, a disaster was about to unfold. She got one of my legs between hers and pulled me in even closer. In spite of my good intentions, I was starting to become arouse. You know what I mean. Janet could feel what was going on and increased the pressure. You have all heard of guys thinking with their little head. I have a theory as to why it happens.

I call my theory the "Big head Little head" scenario; the big head being the brain and the little head being the penis. My premise is that men don't have enough blood in their bodies. When a man gets sexually aroused his penis will enlarge. This is cause by an increase in the regulation of blood flow into and out of the penis. If more blood is sent to the penis, it means that there is less blood for the brain (big head). That is when the penis (little head) takes over the thought process. When the "little head" takes control, all logical thought and reasoning are abolished; leading to all kinds of trouble. My experience is a case in point.

Janet did her best to arouse me and it worked. The little head took over and I started to hold her tighter. My hands roamed down to her ass and I cupped her cheeks. I began to kiss her on the neck and then her lips. See, the little head took over and all my good sense went on vacation.

One of my frat brothers was dancing close to us. He leaned over to me and said "Dude, Bear is very big and he is drunk. Be careful."

Looking over at him, I replied, "Bear isn't that big." It didn't help my logic circuits when Janet grabbed my erection and rubbed it. See little head doing the thinking. As I explained before, Bear is huge and not a nice drunk. Out of the blue, my big head (my brain) made a comeback and helped me to realize what I was doing. Was I crazy or did I just have a death wish? 

I pulled away from Janet and looked at her. She had this smile of victory on her face; she was so proud of herself. I had finally let myself go with her. Right then I felt a huge hand grab my shoulder and spin me around. It was Bear and he had seen Janet and I rubbing bellies among other things and he was not a happy giant. He grabbed my jacket to hold me and drew back his right hand. I'm sure he planned to knock my head completely off my shoulders. I had to think fast to avoid being killed.

"I'm going to kill you Rich," he told me with conviction.

"Why would you hit me? I was doing you a favor and taking care of Janet for you. Remember you asked for my help."

"Yeah, but you were only supposed to dance fast with her. You and her were practically screwing right on the dance floor."

"Think about it Bear. Who would you rather Janet be with? Me or one of the other guys here. I mean, I know she belongs to you and they just don't care. They would just try to get into her pants. So I dance a slow one with her while you were gone; I was protecting her for you."

Bear had let go of my jacket by this time. I begin to think I just might get out of this alive. You see, Bear is not the sharpest tool in the shed when he has been drinking. He had been drinking hard at this party. I looked at him, held my arms out to my sides and sort of shrugged my shoulders. 

"Are we good, Bear?"

"I see what you mean Rich, I guess. Yeah, we're good buddy, sorry for grabbing you."

"No problem," I said. "Guess I'll go on home, now that you're back. See all you guys on Monday. Good night." I started to the door, not running but walking fast. I wanted to get out of sight before Bear's mind could make any sense of all that talking I had done. I knew I didn't have much time.

As I got to my car, I dropped my keys and had to search for them for a couple of minute. When I stood up, there was Bear and a few other people next to my car. Oh shit I thought. He figured it out quicker than I thought he would. Bear grabbed me again and threw across the hood of my car. He began to cuss at me. At least he wasn't hitting me, yet.

"Bear," I yelled at him. What are you doing? I thought we were good?'

"We were until Janet told me what you did," he answered. "She told me how you grabbed her ass, rubbed up against her, and kissed her." You told her to ditch me and meet you at your place. I'm going to pound you into the ground."

I looked up at Janet and she had a shit eating grin on her face. She was going to see that I was punished for not dating her. Bear picked me up; I mean he was actually holding me off the ground. Maybe a sucker punch would make him let me go long enough for me to get away. Boy was I wrong. You know how some animals are so big that if you shot them you would just piss them off. That's how Bear was when I hit him. I just pissed him off. I caught him with my best shot and he just shook his head and began to beat on me. After the first few punches I was almost out of it. Suddenly I was on the ground again, as Bear had let me go. I couldn't understand why he had stopped hitting me; it wasn't anything I had done to make him. I look up at him to see why he had stopped.


Big Head, Little Head



It was Emily; she had slapped Bear's face to get him to stop. She was standing between Bear and me, and told Bear that he was wrong and get a grip on his temper.

"I'm going to kill the little shit," he said as he started to push her out of his way. Bear was past rational thought.

"Bear, your girl is the one that caused all this," Emily said as she stepped in front of him again. "I heard her say she was going to dance with some of the other guys, if Rich didn't dance with her. She was the one rubbing up against him. All he did was try to keep his word to you."

Janet had to get her mouth going and said, "Bear that's not true, you know you're the only one I want to be with. Don't stop, get Rich."

Bear growled, he actually growled, and tried to pushed Emily away. Every time he moved to get around her, Emily would move in front of Bear and start yelling at him again. At any other time, it would have been really funny. This little 5 foot 6 girl holding off this giant of a man. As I said, at any other time it would have been funny; right then all I wanted to do was get out of there without being hurt anymore.

He finally got tired of trying to move pass Emily and backed off a little. Bear looked over Emily's head at me and said, "I'll finish with you later punk."

The excitement was over, so the audience wanting to see blood decided to go back to the lodge hall. They were laughing and talking about how Bear had did a number on me. Emily was kneeling beside me with tears in her eyes.

"Don't cry Emily, I'm okay or will be tomorrow. Right now I'm a little shaky but I'll be okay."

"You are really hurt and I'm going to take you to the hospital." No debate from you. We are going and that's final."

Emily drove me to the emergency room and after the doctors had a look at me, I realized I had been hurt more than I thought. They found I had two bruised ribs, my left eye was almost swollen shut, and my lips looked like ground beef. After they taped, bandaged, and put stuff on my cuts, Emily drove me home. She helped me into my house and to the couch.

I must have passed out and when I woke I felt a weight across my legs. It was Emily; she must have stayed with me and fell asleep. Her face was very pretty as she slept. Funny, I had never noticed how pretty she was. Maybe getting my head bounced around had improved my vision. I tried to sit up and groaned at the pain.

Emily woke up when I moved and smiled at me. "Don't get up; I will get anything you want for you."

I laughed and said, "You can't get this, I need to use the restroom. I walked to the bathroom pretty well, pretty well for a 100 year old man that is.

When I got back I asked her why she had stayed with me all night. She answered she didn't have a ride and didn't want to take my car and leave me without transportation. We continued talking until about 2:00 and I took her home. She was right, I couldn't have driven last night, and I barely made it today. Lucky we had the next week off of school; some kind of teacher meetings and seminars. The time off would let me heal a little.

During that week Emily and I spent 3 or 4 days together. Nothing really romantic; just getting to know each other. I asked her out for that Saturday as our first "real" date. We went to a little coffee house that had some very good rhythm and blues music. A very gently kiss good night was as far as it went.

My week off was over and I had to return to classes. I wondered if there would be any further consequences over the fight with Bear.

The first person I saw as I crossed the parking lot to the school was Janet. She was walking, holding hands, with some jerk from Sigma Chi. Sigma was our rival frat, and there was no love lost between us. When Janet saw me she just smiled at me and cuddled up to the Sigma asshole.

What the hell? Where is Bear? Does he know about this? Dozens of thoughts were running thru my head. Oh well, Janet is not my problem. I continued on to my first class, the rest of the day was pretty normal. Except, I kept seeing Janet with this jerk and it began to get to me. What bothered me wasn't that Janet apparently had thrown Bear over, but she had gotten him to kick my ass before she did. I couldn't just let that go. She had used Bear to get back at me because I wouldn't come running when she crooked her finger. I thought of a couple of old saying and calmed down a little. "What goes around comes around" and "Karma is a bitch, with PMS.

More on Karma and payback later.

The next week, the school officials warned the frats that we were all on thin ice. There had been too many uproars involving the "Greeks" on campus. These fights and disturbances were causing problems with the town and could not continue. We had be warned. So be it. Hypocrites, the school was all for the fund raisers, charity work and good will services the "Greeks" provided, but we had been warned. 

Mr. President Chuck called a special meeting of the frat right after the last class. If the school hadn't given us a warning, I don't think he would have called the meeting. He was trying to save face for the frat and make it seem that we were concerned. Bull shit. I thought I knew what the agenda was going to be and came prepared. Attendance was mandatory for all brothers. Chuck called the meeting to order. He recounted what had happened at the dance, in a slightly abbreviated form. The leadership council of the frat had met and decided on the following sanctions.

Bear must write a letter to the frat and the Deltas apologizing for the fight. He would be suspended from fraternity functions for one month and could not wear anything showing the frat logo during that time. He must stand in front of the whole fraternity and apologize to me and the brothers.

Chuck asked Bear, "Do you understand these sanctions and accept them?"

"Yeah, Bear said, "I understand and accept them." He stood up and turned to me and continued, "I'm sorry Rich. I was drunk and lost my head. Please let's put this in the past." He looked sort of pleased with himself.

"Just like that, huh? You try to kill me and then say you're sorry and everything is supposed to be okay. Well FUCK YOU BEAR. Forget about it, no way, no fucking way. If you can't handle you alcohol, and you can't, quit drinking. We all tried to tell you about Janet, but you were thinking with your dick and wouldn't listen. To make it worse, now your little girl friend has dumped you and is running around with that asshole from Sigma Chi. You know you almost killed me and maybe would have if Emily had not stepped in, all for nothing. I know I stepped over the line with Janet and I am sorry I did, but I didn't deserve what happened to me."

"Yeah, your right. I over reacted big time. Please let's just shake hands and let it go. I am sorry"

"In case you didn't hear me the first time, FUCK YOU BEAR; I'm done. I'm done trying to keep you from breaking things, breaking people and going to jail. All with the excuse, I'm drunk. I'm done listening to you cry about Janet or some other girl screwing you over and trying to help you get past it. We aren't friends anymore; I don't want anything to do with you. 

"That's enough guys," Chuck jumped in and then continued," In addition, Rich you must write the same type of letters to the frat and the Deltas. You must also stand and apologize to the brothers for your part in this fight."

He turned to me and asked, "Rich, do you understand these sanctions and do you accept them?"

"Yeah, I understand. The council is a bunch of chicken shit weenies. Accept, hell no I don't accept. A overgrown psychopath goes on a drunken rampage, almost kills another brother and all you do is require a couple of letters and an apology. He doesn't even have to mean it. Look at his face; he's glad he got off so easy. I knew you guys were going to roll over to save the fraternity embarrassment so I came prepare."

I walked to the front of the room and looked at all the brothers. "Apologize my ass," I stated. I laid a sheet of paper on the desk. "Here is my official resignation. I looked up the bylaws, you have to take my name off the frat rolls if I formally resign; do it now. Here is my frat pin, my frat medallion, and my member card. I don't want to play anymore. Fuck you all." I left the room and the frat.

There were guys in the frat that sympathized with me about the fight but they hadn't stood up at the meeting to voice their feelings; so fuck them too. I felt that if you didn't support me then you were against me. The next few weeks until graduation were a little lonely for me. I wouldn't hang out with any of the frat brothers at school. I had few male friends outside of the frat. The girls of Delta Zeta, Tri Kappa, and the other sororities were pretty much done with me too.

The only one who stood by me was Emily. Go figure, a girl I hardly knew had not only saved my ass but stood with me against my so called brothers, her friends, and sorority sisters. Her sisters told her to stay away from me and that she was being disloyal to the Deltas. She told them to go fuck themselves, that they were as bad as my frat and quit the sorority.

So there we were the two outcasts, depending on each other for company. This was a perfect scenario for a romance to blossom. Right?

Maybe so but it didn't happen. Emily said we were good friends and she loved me but wasn't in love with me. Emily was a sweetheart, and in her I thought I had found a kindred spirit. I was a disappointed but kept my thoughts to myself.

Around six weeks of this almost solo existence, out of the blue I got a offer for an interview for a sales position. I had applied to several companies hoping for interviews after graduation. That was in a couple of weeks; apparently one of them didn't want to wait. An appointment was scheduled; I dressed to impress and went to the meeting. I really didn't expect to get the job then, but it was a foot in the door for later.

I was shown into an office for the interview and when I saw the man I was to meet, I begin to grin. For the first time in several weeks, I had something to feel good about and smile. The man stood up and shook my hand. It was Jackson Henley, an alumni of my school and more importantly, an alumni of my old fraternity.

Jackson had graduated about 3 years before and had stayed active in the fraternity alumni association. The association came to a lot of the frat's functions. It was supposed to be a way to network with brothers already in the work place. It was really just a way for the alumni to party and get a chance to meet the new crop of coeds. Whatever, I was really glad to see Jackson. He was one of the few brothers that was really a friend.

"Hello Rich, how the hell are you? What's all this about you telling the brothers to go fuck themselves and quitting?"

"Hey Jackson, is that what this is all about? If so, I will save us both time and leave. I won't change my mind or how I feel about those assholes."

"No, this is a real interview for a real position. I was the one that suggested we contact you. We have an opening for a sales person for a new department and I think you are just who we need. Interested?"

"Sure, I want to hear more. What would I be selling"

"We are setting up a computer time share system. It will start with accounting and inventory control. Other software will be available very soon; things like medical billing, research data bases and others as they are developed. Interested?"

You have to realize that at the time of the story (late 1960s early 70s) that no one had personal computers. No desk tops, no lap tops, no wifi, no Internet; none of the modern computers or software had been developed yet. There wasn't even a "world wide web" yet. I know sounds like the dark ages, but that's the way it was then.

Jackson explained that companies would subscribe to the services they needed and be allotted time on a huge main frame for their business. This would be more expedient and cost effective than buying, running and maintaining their own main frame. The expense of buying and staffing a main frame was very large. They would pay handsomely for the use of "our" computer.

"Your job will be to find companies that can make use of our services and convince them that it is their best interest to subscribe with us. We are in on the ground floor and there is no ceiling as to how far this can go. What do you say Rich? You on board with us?"

"One more question. How much do I get?"

Jackson laughed out loud. "I should of told you that first, knowing you. You could always sell almost anything to almost anybody, so it's more about the money than the product."

I nodded in agreement and said, "How much?"

"Okay; to start you will get a monthly draw of $1000, paid bi weekly, against commissions. The commissions, less your draw, will be paid on the 1st of every month. The commission will be 10 per cent of the monthly subscriber fee for each company you bring in. You bring in a company that pays $1000 a month; you get $100 a month for as long as they are with us. There will be a quota of at least one new company a month; this will start after a 2 week training period. A bonus will be paid for over 5 companies a month. You can take the bonus in cash or stock in our company. How about Rich? I need an answer before you leave, there other people that want this job."

"Okay, I'm all yours. When do I start?"

"You just did. Go down to personnel and get all paper work straightened out. See you on Monday at 9:00 for our first training session. Now get out of here and let me get back to work."

I left his office walking about 3 feet in the air. A entry level sales position usually didn't pay any draw and nowhere near the commissions possible here. I was in the big time without having to pay my dues to get there. Production was necessary, but I was being paid very well to produce. The only drawback is not graduating with the rest of my class. I would get my degree, but no ceremony. Who cares? There wasn't anybody in my class that I cared enough about to worry about. 

The only person that I did care about was Emily. I called her at her job and told her I had great news and asked if she was free that evening. She told me she got off at 5:00 and to pick her up in front of her office.

I had about 3 hours to kill before meeting Emily, so I went to my local watering hole to have a couple of beers and celebrate a little before meeting Emily. As I walked in, I saw a group of students celebrating also; The end of the school day was probably their reason for celebrating. There were 3 guys and 6 women, all from another college close by. I walked past them to the bar and one of the girls, a redhead, watched me as I took a bar stool. Smiling at by beer, I thought about the meeting that afternoon; I wondered how I had lucked into that job. 

"Where's your side kick today?" The redhead asked me.

I looked around to see if she was talking to me. When I realized she was I answered, "Emily's at work today. I'm going to me her at 5:00. Who are you?"

"I'm Elaine. I saw you at the dance and at the fight after wards. I came outside with everybody else and saw this giant beating on another guy. It wasn't until I saw you today that I realized it was you. It was really funny the way your lady jumped in front of the bozo and made him back down."

"It must have been a riot, but I was too distracted by my bleeding to notice. That was the start of our friendship, Emily and I."

I offered to buy her a drink. After all I had been without female companionship ship for several weeks. Not thinking about anything that day, but maybe a future meeting in a more romantic setting. The redhead was really hot. We continued to talk, laugh, and flirt with each other. At some time we decided to sit in a booth. The jukebox was playing and after several drinks we were dancing. I don't remember who asked who to dance. Things were going really well, I mean really well, and I lost track of time.

Remember my theory of the "Big Head, Little Head" scenario?

We were in the back seat of my car, partially undressed and trying to break the shocks on my car when I realized it was going on 8:00. Oh shit, I was 3 hours late to pick up Emily. Another 10 minutes wouldn't change anything, so I finished our business. I got dressed as quick as I could and ran into the bar to call Emily. (Remember the time frame, no cell phones). There was no answer so I ran back to my car and drove like crazy to her house. No lights were on when I got there and no one answered my knock on her door. I knew her parents were out of town and I couldn't leave a message for her. Not knowing what to do and knowing I had screwed up big time, I just sat on the front steps of her house thinking. I must have had a lot to think about as I was still there at 10:00 when Emily got home. She came of the walk and stopped in front of me.

"What are you doing here Rich," Emily asked?

"I am so sorry Emily. You don't deserve to be treated that way. I had such an amazing day, I was celebrating with a couple of drinks and just lost track of time. You are my only friend and I'm very sorry. Please forgive me."

"You forget all about meeting me because you were celebrating? Surprised you could drive over here, if you had that much to drink. I'm still mad at you. You stood me up and you don't do that to a friend."

"I know and again I'm sorry. It wasn't just drinking that caused me to be late. I ran into a redhead, Julie, from Williams College and she bought me a drink. Then I bought her a drink and things sort of snow balled from there. I sort of got distracted and forgot about the time." As soon as I said that, I knew it was a mistake.

A word of advice here for you men out there. Don't ever tell one woman that the reason you were late was another woman. I don't care if you are just "friends"; it will not be taken well.

Emily looked at me like I was some kind of scum. Tears began to well up in her eyes. Then she started to berate me in a loud voice and for a long time. She was pissed. I might have gotten away with being late, but not for being late because of another woman.

"You wouldn't treat one of your frat brothers this way," Emily accused me.

"A brother wouldn't make this big of a deal about it," I answered. Wrong thing to say again, dumb shit. 

"Leave, now. Go away and don't come back. Don't call me or come to see me. We are done and I don't want to see or talk to you again." Emily yelled at me. She walked around me and into her house, slamming the door behind her.

She had a right to be mad, but Emily had gone over the top on me. I felt very bad that I had stood her up and sad that our friendship appeared to be over. Standing there, I realized that I had more than friendship in mind when I thought of Emily. Did I have love her as more than a friend? Maybe I did, but right now it looks like I had just fucked that up by allowing myself to follow the "Big Head Little Head" scenario. Shit, now what? I tried knocking on Emily's door, but she ignored me. I went back home and thought I really need to get control of the "Little Head". It had already caused me to lose my frat brothers, get my ass kicked royally, and probably lose my best friend. This had to stop.

I thought about the times and places that I had allowed the "Little Head" to rule and made plans to change my life style. No more bar hopping, watch how much I drank and with whom, and generally keep myself in check. I was starting a new life and job; I needed to change my outlook to be a success. I made plans to curtail my drinking and behave myself.

What is the adage? "Men plan and the gods laugh."

Emily didn't return any of the numerous calls I made, so I wrote a letter to her. In the letter, I again apologized for standing her up. I told her about the job and gave her the phone number. I ask her to call or come by my place so we could talk thru this; I told her that I missed her and wanted my friend back. I told her I didn't understand why my being with a woman made her even madder.




Big Head, Little Head



Was Emily just mad because I was 3 hours late or was she mad because I was with another woman? She had told me she loved me but wasn't in love with me, so why the uproar over a woman. Men are blind and sometimes very dense. I was just a big, dumb, clod and didn't have a clue. At this point it is obvious to the reader that Emily had either changed her mind about being in love with me or had lied to me to start with. Of course, being the stupid idiot that I was, I had no idea and wasn't smart enough to figure it out.

Technically the only thing I did wrong was be late. We weren't involved romantically and the woman should not have any bearing on this. How little we mortal men understand the female of the species. Men are so dumb when it come to understanding the way women think, that it is a miracle the human race hasn't died out. 

Three weeks into my training at the job, Emily finally called me at work. She left a message and asked me to stop calling or writing her. Let me alone and quit trying to contact her, she had said. She wanted to forget about me and get on with her life. I read the message and thought; well that sure puts a period on our relationship.

Time past and I had been with the company for about 10 months. There were three salesmen and the other two were getting one to two new accounts a month. Finally, I was the star at something; I was getting two to three new clients every month, a couple of months I had four. In my eleventh month, I signed up 7 new customers, I was King. The cash bonus I received was very nice, but the stock options were much better. I now owned part of the company. A person will almost always work harder for themselves than someone else. I felt I was squatting in tall cotton. (Sorry my country roots showing up there).

Jackson decided that a big party was needed. Both to celebrate my accomplishment and to motivate the rest of the employees. The party was held at a local hotel in the lounge area. The employees were encouraged to bring their partners, spouses, significant others, or dates. In total there was about 20 people at the shindig. As hard as I was working, I hadn't had time to meet a new lady or ladies in my life: so I came to the party solo. I also had been following my plan to curtail my party going and walk the straight and narrow.

We had been in the lounge for about an hour and a half, when someone tapped me on the shoulder and called my name. I turned around and there was Janet, in all her glory. She looked fantastic, even sexier than in school.

"Hello, haven't seen you in forever Rich," she greeted me.

"Hi Janet. How have you been? What are you doing here tonight?"

She gave a sort of smoldering look and answered, "Just here with some friends from school and work. Why don't you join me?"

Notice, join me, and not join us. She was trying to do it to me again; trying to lead me on with an unspoken promise and then laughingly shut me down. I had seen it before with other guys.

"Won't your Sigma Chi guy object to me joining the group?"

"Ron is history. I dropped him a couple of months ago," she informed me. "He couldn't keep up."

"Janet, I don't think it would be a good idea. The last time I was with you I was nearly beaten to death. I have no wish to repeat that experience. You're a dangerous woman."

"Come on Rich that was a long time ago. Can't you forgive a mistake made when I was young and dumb? I've grown up Rich and matured past all that."

"All right, I forgive you, it was a wild time in both our lives and I guess we all did some things we aren't proud."

I didn't really forgive her or feel the way I said; I just didn't want to talk to her any longer. I thought Janet would leave, but no such luck.

"I'm so glad we had a chance to talk," Janet told me. "Could you do me a small favor Rich?"

"What?" I didn't like the sound of this; too much like the "old" Janet.

"The older man sitting at our table is my boss, Bill. He is a Sigma Chi alumni and knows Ron very well. Bill asked me about breaking it off with Ron and I told him I had meet someone else and was getting engaged; it's the same thing I told Ron. If Bill found out I just dumped his frat brother and lied about why, it could affect my job."

"Where do I come in and what is the favor you want?" I was beginning to see where this was going. 

"Come over to the table with me and pretended to be my fiancé," Janet said. "I told Bill my boyfriend was at a business dinner tonight. When I saw you, I thought this could all work out great. Please, Rich, come over for just a few minutes. If I don't produce a fiancé soon it could cause me a lot of problems. You can use the business diner as an excuse and wouldn't have to stay too long."

I looked at Janet as she waited for my answer and she seemed to be very nervous. "Sure Janet, I'll come over for a little while. Not too long though."

Janet smiled, hugged me and grabbed my hand to lead me to her table. When we got to the table Bill stood up to greet us.

"Bill, this is my fiancé Rich," Janet introduced us. "Rich this is my boss Bill Roberts."

"Nice to finally meet you Rich," Bill said. "Join us and have a seat."

I sat down and looked at Janet and said, "Whoa Janet. What this fiancé bull? When we met at the sorority mixer and hit it off you were dating some guy; Ron was his name I think. I told you then I didn't want to get together unless you were single. You called me the next week and said you dumped the guy and now we could hook up. I never mentioned marriage or anything more than having a good time.

Janet sat there with her mouth open; she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

I stood up and told Bill I felt that I was there under false pretenses and thought I had better leave. As I turned I bent over and said in Janet's ear, "Karma is a bitch."

The argument and loud voices started behind me. I could hear Janet going but, but, but, as Bill left the room. I went back to my group with a huge smile on my face. Finally, I got my payback. It felt good.

About an hour after Janet and her group left, I was dancing with one of the female associates of my company. I was holding her pretty close and trying not to let the "Little Head" take over my thought process. The alcohol had been flowing freely all evening; after our dance, she was pushing herself against me and for just a second I was tempted. I stepped away from her a little and for the first time the alcohol and the "Big Head Little Head" scenario did not control me. Victory is mine, at least for that night. I gave the girl a little hug and walked to the bar, more to celebrate my victory than to get any more to drink.

I was leaning against the bar nursing a soft drink and noticed three women walk into the lounge and sit at a booth. This lounge was unbelievably lucky for me tonight. One of the women was Emily; the other two were her mother and sister.

Emily, my one time best pal and confidant. I hadn't seen her for a little over a year. She looked really good. My heart started to race a little and my hands started sweating. Hold on, I told myself; the last thing you heard from her was to go away and leave her alone. What makes you think she wants to see you now? Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing ventured.

They were waiting for someone to take their drink order and talking to each other about some play or something. I walked over to their table in a roundabout way so Emily couldn't see me coming. "Can I get you ladies something from the bar?" I asked. 

All three looked up at me and I heard Emily say, "Oh shit."

"Emily, such language," her mother scolded.

"Hi EM," I said. What a great opening comment. Silver tongue devil, aren't I?

"Hello Rich, how are you?" she responded.

"Is this the Rich you are always talking about?" asked her sister. 

"Why me?" Emily said hanging her head in embarrassment. 

"Hello ladies, my name is Rich," I said to introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Elizabeth, Liz. I'm Emily's mother and this is her sister Elaine."

"Very nice to meet you both. You've been talking about me Emily? Why," I asked her.

"Please, later, when we can have some privacy. I will call you," Emily said trying to get out of an embarrassing situation. 

"No way Em, I think I know you. You won't call, nor return any of my calls. What gives?"

Elaine jumped into the conversation and said, "Emily talks about you a lot. She says she missed her chance with you by being too shy. She said she should have......"

"Hush Elaine," her mother said. "That's enough, it's personal and for Emily to decide if she wants to tell Rich. Now keep quite."

Emily's face was very red by now. She gave a look to her sister that should have burned Elaine to a crisp, and then hung her head to avoid my eyes.

"Come on Em, I was your best buddy at one time. If you have something to say to or about me, please tell me."

"I can't, not here in front of everyone. Please, I will call you I promise." She still hadn't raised her head or looked at me.

"Em, I don't want to cause a problem. However, I am going to say my piece and then you can decide if you want to call me. Look at me Em."

Emily did raise her head and looked me in the eye.

"I love you Em. I guess I have since the "fight night". You backed Bear down, and then took care of me. You got me to the hospital, but you didn't stop there; you got me home and stayed to nurse me. The more time I spent with you, the more I wanted to be with you. Why do you think I stopped going to the bars? I knew you didn't like drunks, so I stopped. The drinks I have had tonight are the first ones since the night I was three hours late, except for a couple of beers once in awhile." 

Liz was all eyes. Looking from Emily to me and back to Emily. It looked like she was watching a tennis match. Emily was still looking me in the eye, like she couldn't believe what I was saying.

"We spent several weeks as company for each other after that and you became my best friend. I was trying to think of a way to tell that I wanted to be more than your friend. Then you hit me with "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" crap and burst my bubble. I should have told you the way I felt about you right then, but I was afraid I would lose your friendship. If I couldn't have you as my girl, at least I would have you as my friend. Not what I wanted, but better than nothing. I wanted you in my life anyway I could have you. Sorry, I'm rambling. Haven't talked this much, except with clients, since that night I stood you up."

"Rich, I........" Emily began.

"Hush Em, it's still my turn. I'm going to have my say and then I'll leave you alone. Until then, just sit there and listen. I guess you could get up and leave; I won't try to stop you but if you stay you are going to hear it all. Embarrassing or not."

Liz said, "You couldn't drag me out of here with a tow truck. I want to hear this and maybe I'll understand why Emily has been acting like a zombie for the last year."

Elaine jumped in and said, "Me neither, I want to hear all of this."

"Mother, please!" Emily cried.

"Em, sit there and listen or leave, there are no other alternatives," I said.

Emily just looked at me in resignation and sat there.

"Okay, moving on. After you basically saying we were just friends, I made myself think of you as one of the guys. I treated you like I would have one of my male friends. It was the only way I could stand to be around you and not grab you, kiss, and hug you. It was a defense mechanism I know, but it worked. Until the night I stood you up because I was with a woman. If you had been a guy friend, you would have called me an asshole for making you wait, but would have understood. Your reaction that night should have told me something, but I was caught up in my celebrating too much to see it."

Emily's eyes had began to tear up when I first said I loved her, now tears were sliding down her cheeks.

"I only have a couple of more items, Em. After that I'll leave and you guys can go on with your girl's night out. 

She nodded her head for me to continue.

"In case I haven't been plain enough, I am telling you that I love you. I think we could have something great together. We should explore our feelings and see if we can have a life together as lovers or just as friends. Either way, I want and need to have you in my life. That's it, I'm done. I will leave you ladies now. Nice to have met you Liz and you too Elaine. Thanks for listening."

I stood up to leave and for the first time since I had started, Emily spoke directly to me.

"Don't I get a chance at a rebuttal," Emily asked?

Nodding my head, I sat back down and gave her all my attention.

"First, I sorry Rich," Emily started. "If I hadn't been so shy and introverted, maybe the last year wouldn't have been wasted. The days and weeks after "fight night", as you call it, I came to love you too. I saw the real you after you got away from those assholes in the fraternity. You were better than that, and I saw that you were. I couldn't tell you, because I thought you would never want to be with someone like me. And I didn't want to lose your friendship either. Those weeks were some of the best I have ever had. I didn't know......"

At this point I stood up, pulled Emily out of her seat and kissed her hard. I just stood there holding her and felt the tears coming. Yeah, I know, big macho guy, crying over a girl.

After a couple of minutes, I turned to Em's mother. "Sorry Liz."

Liz had tears in her eyes too and had a big smile on her face. "Don't worry about it. You kids run along, you need to speed some time together. Finally, maybe my house won't seem like a morgue anymore." She was laughing as she said that.

As Emily and I left, we passed my company's table. I looked at Jackson and said, "Thanks for the party Jackson, see you on Monday."

He nodded at me and remarked, "You are the best salesman I have ever seen. See you on Monday."

That was ten years and two children ago. Things have gone good for us. I stayed with the company, accumulating bonus and stock options. About five years in, I read and researched the coming technology that would allow smaller main frames and the beginning of personal and network computers. The world wide web was coming to the forefront. The writing was on the wall; our company was going to lose it market place. Not right away, but in the next few years. By this time, I owned a lot of stock. I sold it back to the company and made a lot of money. It wasn't enough to live the rest of our lives on, but it was enough that we didn't sweat the small stuff. (Not much of the large stuff either) 

I took off for a year; Emily, Liz, our two kids, and I traveled all over the U.S. that year. Liz was our built in babysitter on the nights Em and I wanted a little romantic alone time.

When the year was over, I decided to go back to work. I got a job in sales with a company that was offering a system of networking computers and personal computers. I was very successful with them.

Remember, I am the best salesman around.

Life goes on.