54 comments/ 134137 views/ 37 favorites Because of You By: woodmanone As usual with my stories there are no graphic sex scenes here. There are other authors that can provide that for you. Constructive critiques and comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks for reading my story and Enjoy. This story was inspired by the song "Because of you" by Reba McEntire. Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalkBecause of youI learned to play on the safe sideSo I don't get hurt My life was fun, fulfilling, and complete until it wasn't; because of you. I had a wife that was my lover and confidant until I didn't; because of you. I used to be outgoing, fun to be with, and free spirited, now I'm not; because of you. Because of you, I have none of the important things I had at one time. Because of you, my life is a dark shadow of the sunny bright future I once had. I know this all sounds very melodramatic, but every word is true. My life was going pretty good until about 18 months ago, that's when everything went to hell in a hand basket. My name is Jason Patrick Riley. At 30, I am or I was a sort of accountant, efficiency consultant, and trouble shooter for one of the largest and richest independent oil companies in West Texas. I worked in Midland Texas, although I traveled all over the country and sometimes the world for my boss. He hired me right out of college and I became a jack of all trades for him and his company. ******************** I graduated from high school and had to go to work full time to help out the family. My family consists of Mom and my sister Sally and me. My mom is a single mother and has raised we kids by herself. My drunken asshole of a father left us two weeks after Sally was born; I was six at the time. We never heard from him again. Moms always managed to cloth and feed us and give us a decent place to live, but there was never any extra money. I started working part time when I was 14 and haven't stopped working since. Well right now I'm not working, but we'll get to that later. At 6' and around 175 pounds, I was big for my age at 16. If I kept my voice low I could pass for 18. That's how I got my first job in the oil fields. I think Butch, my first boss, knew that I wasn't 18 but I told him about my family and he hired me anyway. He wouldn't let me work on the floor of the rig but there was plenty to keep me busy doing other things. I did basically most of the grunt work necessary around a drilling rig. I would roll drill pipe into position to be picked up, tote the bags of drilling mud to the mixer, make sure there was water in the catch basins for drilling and anything else that needed to be done. I worked part time on the evening shift from 6 PM until 10 PM so I could go to school during the day. When I finished school I went to work as a full time rough neck on the floor of the rig. I had grown to 6' 2" and added about 40 pounds by this time so I had the size to work on the rig. After 2 years as a rough neck, a friend of my mother's, Jared, decided that I needed to become a driller. It paid more and wasn't as hard on your body as being a rough neck. You could only work so many years as a rough neck before the back breaking labor beat you down. Jared was about 50 and had been a driller for 25 years. His face was seamed and lined from his years out in the weather and his hands showed the abuse given them for the last 25 years. He walked stooped over and with a limp from an accident on a rig about 15 years ago. He looked like he had been rode hard and then rode hard some more. I was working the day shift and would stay over to learn from Jared. After almost a year working with and under Jared I got my first job as a driller. The hardest part about being a driller, once you know the technical aspects, is controlling your crew. Rough necks are an independent group and have to respect you before they will work hard for you. My first time out as a driller I had an older crew; I was the youngest at 21. Being a new driller I had to work the night shift, 10 PM to 6 AM. There was one ole boy on the crew that wasn't going to put up with a young punk as his boss. Jesse was 28 and a veteran rough neck. The first time he challenged me, I told him to get to work or get off the rig. Words and threats were exchanged and the rest of the crew had to pull us apart. I gave as good as I got, but if it had gone on much longer I would have gotten my ass kicked. The tool chaser, who is the overall boss on an oil rig, sent Jesse home and docked his pay for fighting. Normally fighting on a rig will get you fired, but if he fired Jesse he would have had to let me go too. Drillers for the night shift were hard to come by so no one got fired. The next night I was waiting for Jesse before the shift began. As he got out of his truck, I told him we had unfinished business and needed to get it taken care of before we started our shift. We went behind the tool trailer to have our discussion. Our "talk" wasn't on the rig itself so the head man had no say so about what went on. Jesse knocked me down three times but I got up four and started for him again. He held up his hands and said, "I've had enough. I'm afraid I'll break my hands on your face and won't be able to work. You win Jason, let's go to work." I had earned the crews' respect for standing up to Jesse and never had any more trouble from them. I guess the word spread because I never had a problem with any other crew. Months later when Jesse would find out I was drilling a well somewhere; he would come to work for me. We actually became friends and would share a few drinks together. Two years as a driller made me realize that there had to be something more to life than oil rigs. The west Texas weather baked you in the summer and froze you in the winter. Add in all the thunderstorms, rain, lightening strikes and the weather was not your friend. People always say that the Kansas plains are flat but they are hilly compared to west Texas. Oil is often found around a salt dome and a salt dome three feet high stood out like a high hill on those west Texas plains. The storms and winds would roll for miles with no hills or vegetation to slow them down. In addition you had the dangerous job of the work on an oil rig and you can understand what a tough life this was. In addition the rattlesnakes, scorpions, and spiders meant that the rig was not a good place to spend your career. At least not for me, I wanted to work smarter not harder. I didn't want to end up like Jared in another 25 or 30 years, bent and broken with hands that were gnarled and full of arthritis. One more detriment to working on a rig, once you started drilling there were no days off. You worked 7 days a week, week in and week out, until the well was finished. I took jobs that let me work the night shift from 10 PM to 6 AM so I could go to college during the day. My schedule was set up so that my last class was over at one. That gave me time to get home, eat, study and get some sleep before I started on the rig at ten. I didn't take off summers from school so I graduated in three years with dual degrees, one in accounting/business management and one in computer science. The day after graduation I began to look for a position where I could use my new degrees to get off the oil rigs. ******************** Along came Billy Ray Jones and the Jones Oil Company. Yeah, that was his real name. A lot of the ole boys in Texas had two first names that they were called by. Joe Bob, Billy Bob, Bobbie Ray, etc. etc. etc. I guess it's because everything is bigger in Texas and one name isn't big enough. Billy Ray had an ad in the local paper wanting to hire a full charge accountant/bookkeeper so I put in for the job. He called me and we met at his office on a Friday afternoon at 3 PM. This would give me time to get some sleep after the meeting so I could go back to the rig that evening. I hadn't quit my job as a driller and wouldn't until I got something else to move on to. I gave him a resume I had typed up and we discussed my qualifications for about 30 minutes. Then we discussed my rig experience and the oil "bidness" for another hour. He asked, "Why do you want quit working on the rigs, drillers made pretty good money?" "Yeah they do, but it's hard on a body. Someday I hope to have a family and I want to be able to play with my kids and maybe grandkids." I explained about how beat up Jared was and said, "I don't want to end up like that." Billy Ray knew Jared and still hired him as a driller once in awhile. "Let me think on this for a day or two and I'll call you and let you know Jason," Billy Ray told me ending our interview. I found out later that he called Jared, Jesse, and my mama to find out what kind of a man I was. I thanked him for his time and went home to get some rest before starting my shift on the rig. It was an interesting meeting and I enjoyed talking to Billy Ray, but I really didn't think I would get the job. His secretary Judy told me that I was the youngest person to apply and she seemed surprised that a big strapping rough neck like me would apply for this job. Ten days later I got a call from Jones Oil wanting me to meet with Billy Ray again. This time it was a Monday morning around 9 and as I walked into the office his secretary handed me a cup of coffee and led me into Billy Ray's office. He was on the phone and pointed for me to take a chair. Billy Ray got off the phone and smiled at me. "I'm offering you the job as accountant, if you still want it Jason. "Here's the salary I'm willing to start you at." He slid a folder piece of paper across his desk to me. I think Billy Ray had been watching too much T.V. "How's that look boy?" I was surprised at the job offer; I actually thought he was going to offer me a job as a driller on a new well that we had talked about in our previous meeting. The written offer was about ten percent more than I was making as a driller and I didn't have to work on a rig anymore. "Sounds good Mr. Jones. I accept the job and thanks," I responded. "How soon can you start?" "Probably in ten days or so sir. I have to finish drilling this well and then I'm free." "Couldn't they get someone else to work in your place," Billy Ray said looking at me in an appraising way. "Yeah I guess they could, but it would slow them down until they found someone. Besides, I gave them my word when I took the driller's job that I would finish the well. I don't like to go back on my word, Mr. Jones." "I need you to start by mid week or I'll have to find someone else Jason." Billy Ray dashed my hopes for a way out of the oil fields with that statement. Hesitating for a few seconds, I stood up to leave. "Thanks for the offer Mr. Jones, but I guess you better find someone else. I gave them my word and I aim to keep it. Thanks again for the offer, call me if you need a driller for that new well. See ya sometime." Billy Ray started laughing, "Sit down boy. You've got the job; I just wanted to see if you were a man of your word and you've proven you are. You're the kind of man I want working for me. So go finish your well and then come to the office and we'll put you to work." Saying that, he picked up the phone and started making a call. I left his office and don't think my feet touched the ground all the way out to my truck. First time out and I found a way to get off that damn oil rig. I was stoked and could hardly wait to start with Jones Oil Company. As I got back to my place my cell started ringing and when I answered it was my current boss. He offered me a job on the day shift at his next well with an increase in pay. He said that the way I handled Jesse and got the respect of that crew told him that I could run any crew. "I can't Mr. Williams; I'm starting a new job right after I get this well to depth." I was just coming into my own as a driller and was beginning to be offered really good rigs and wells, but I wanted out of the oil fields. He asked and I told him where I was going to work and why. "Well, Billy Ray is a good man and I can understand you wanting to better yourself. Good luck to you Jason. If you decide to come back to drilling give me first call, will ya?" We had to change a drill bit that night and it put us a little behind. To change the bit we had pull out over 9500 feet of drill pipe replace the bit and put the same amount of pipe back into the drill hole. So it was twelve days before I could report to Jones Oil. The well came in on the day shift, but I worked my shift helping to dismantle the derrick and rig so it could be moved to the next site. I finished my shift at 6 AM went home got a bite to eat cleaned up and reported to Billy Ray's office at 8 AM. He had heard that the well made depth last night and grinned at me when I walked in. Billy Ray told me to go home get a day's rest and be back tomorrow morning at 9. "I want you bright eyed and bushy tailed when you start work for me Jason." The next morning I made my first step out of working in the oil fields. I found that I had three clerks and another accountant working for me. Around noon, Billy Ray took me to lunch and explained some things to me. "First thing, my name is Billy Ray, Mr. Jones is my daddy. Next, I had several people to choose from for this job; most with more experience than you. Do you know why I hired you instead any of the others?" By now I had a read on Billy Ray and answered with "I guess because I'm so good looking and you wanted to improve the décore around the office." I thought he would fall out of his chair laughing. "Yeah that's one of the reasons. But the real reason I hired you is because you know the oil "bidness" from the field side. You've worked on rigs and know what it takes to bring in a well. It's not just numbers and you know that. I can trust you to look at the numbers and reports and know if the well is worth the expenditure or should we cap it and move on. You will know if a tool chaser or driller is trying to blow smoke up my ass or if they are reporting truthfully. It was your field experience on the rigs that made the difference." Billy Ray told me that I would be more than an accountant; he wanted me to be a trouble shooter and field expert. He wanted me to meet with the geologist, the drillers and the crews. I was to hire the best rough necks, drillers and tool chasers for his wells. Pay them above the going rate and keep them fat and happy, but make sure they produced. I was to be his jack of all trades and do what I thought best to keep the bottom line in the black. Six months in my job and Billy Ray gave me a raise. The raise enabled me to send more money home to my mom and sister. I had saved the company a lot of money by being able to read the phony reports one crew was sending in and correcting that problem. Jesse and his crew had just finished another well so I fired that crew and hired Jesse. Those guys were able to bring the well in under budget. I got a raise, Jesse and his boys got a big bonus, and Jones Oil made money. A win-win situation. ******************** I had more time to socialize now with a daytime job and started to hang out at on the weekends at a couple of the road houses in the area. Now that I had an "office" type job, I could dress better. No more dirty jeans, steel toed work boots and T-shirts, I wore slacks or dress jeans, nice shirts, and Dan Post cowboy boots. I looked pretty spiffy if I do say so myself. Then I made a mistake, I fell in lust. Marsha Ann Boudrow was a tall little filly that caught my eye at The Ranch, a Midland dance hall. She was about 5' 9" so she fit my large frame very well, as I found out when I danced with her. She had Texas strawberry blond hair worn long down her back and big brown eyes. One look and I was in lust anyway, if not in love. We hit it off from our first meeting and quickly became an item. She was always up, happy and willing to party till all hours. Marsha Ann lived off a small trust fund from her grandparents and didn't have to work so she had lots of time to recover from her party nights. By the way it's not only the men of Texas that have two names; a lot of the women did too. Sue Ann, Billie Sue, Bobbie Jo, etc. etc. We dated off and on for about a year and I thought I was in love. I say off and on because we had a few bumps in the road during our relationship. I had to travel once about every four or five weeks because of my job. I would visit drilling rigs trying to solve problems or just to get a feel for a well. My trips were usually lasted three or four days at the most. Even though I was gone it didn't stop Marsha Ann from going to The Ranch or other dance halls. I wasn't real happy about that but I didn't make an issue of it until the night I found her cuddled up with some cowboy in one of the booths at The Ranch. Old cliché,I got done with my trip early and thought I would surprise her. When she wasn't at her place I knew she was probably gone out dancing. If I found her at one of the honky tonks I was going to be a little upset. Just before I left on this current trip we had a serious discussion about her going out when I was gone. She certainly was surprised when I walked up to the booth where she and her cowboy were snuggling. The young man and she were sharing a hug and his hand was high up at the side of her breast. She had her eyes closed and she opened them as I had slid into the booth across from them. "Oh my God," she said. The guy looked to be about 24 like Marsha Ann. She pushed the man away and said to me, "Hi Honey, I thought you were still on your business trip." Why do people say such stupid things when they screw up and get caught? "It's obvious that you thought I was still gone or you wouldn't be here with Cowboy Boy, would you?" He sort of bristled at that. "Oh no, I'm not here with Johnny Ray. He and my cousin Julie are dating and I just ran into him." "You could have fooled me. I thought from that hug, that you two were together for the evening." "Honey, he came over to say hello and it was just a hug among friends. Johnny Ray this is my boyfriend Jason Riley, Jason this is Johnny Ray Tyler." The boy reached to shake hands, even though he seemed a little nervous. I took his hand and gave him a very, very, very, firm handshake. His hand was soft and not used to hard work; he apparently wasn't a real cowboy. If he threw a rope with those hands the skin would have been ripped off. Johnny Ray was a drugstore cowboy and had probably never seen a ranch in his life. He gave a little moan from the pain of my "firm" handshake and I let him go. "Does a friendly hug include Johnny Ray here feeling your tits? If I had come in a few minutes earlier would I have seen a friendly little kiss? And by the way Johnny Ray, that's ex-boyfriend." "No! Jason, I tell you nothing was going on. We danced a few times, is all." "I thought you said he just came over to say hello and now you tell me you two were dancing. Which is it? I was born at night Marsha Ann, but it wasn't last night. I know exactly what's going on here." Marsha Ann and I had been dating for about three months when I gave her the only thing I had ever gotten from my dad. It was a gold nugget necklace that he had won in a poker game. Before he left he asked me several times to give it back to him, I guess he wanted to sell it to buy booze. Even at six I wasn't stupid so I told him I had lost it. That got me a backhand across the face, but at least I still had the nugget. That necklace was sort of like a pre engagement ring for Marsha Ann. She was leaning across the table trying to take my hand and I reached over and pulled the necklace off her. If she wanted to play around, I wasn't going to let her do so with my brand on her. When I grabbed it she was shocked and Cowboy Bob decided to get involved. He grabbed my arm to stop me. Because of You "Son, you really don't want to buy into this. She's not worth going to the hospital for," I threatened him. I guess the memory of the firm handshake and the look in my eyes made a believer out of him. He let go of my arm and sat back down. "I'm sure you can get a ride home Marsha Ann. I won't wait for you then. Adios kids." About three blocks from the bar my cell phone started going off. I could see that it was Marsha Ann and thought about ignoring it but decided to get this over with. "Hello Marsha Ann, what'da want?" "Honey, come back and get me so we can talk. I came with Donna and she hooked up with some guy and left me, I don't have a ride." "Talkin's over with girl. You were going to ride Cowboy Bob tonight, just have him take you home first. Don't call me again, we're done Marsha Ann." Of course we did talk again and being young and stupid I gave her another chance. I didn't really believe all the bullshit she tried to feed my about that night, but I loved her and didn't really want to break up with her. That was the first time. The same thing happened when I took another trip about six months later. I didn't catch her with anyone, but friends told me she had been out "dancing" each of the four nights that I was gone. There is an old adage that says, "Those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it", and that's what happened to me. Of course hind sight is perfect and I should have shined her on after the first incident with Johnny Ray, Bobby Joe or whatever the hell his name was. I didn't learn from history and I would repeat it. After the last time we fought about her going out, she said, "If we were married I wouldn't have to go out. We would have a home and I would wait for you there." That was either unassailable logic or bullshit, but it worked. We got engaged and then quickly married. Our wedding was a small, but the reception was large and held at The Ranch, of all places, because that was where we met. We went to San Antonio for our honeymoon and stayed in a hotel right on the river walk. Never did see much of the river walk; we were too busy exploring each other. Neither of us were virgins but we needed to see how we fit together and what we each liked. A good time was had by all. I went back to work and was lucky there was no traveling necessary for a couple of months. Then I had to make a trip to Oklahoma for six days and nights. When I got back home Marsha Ann tried to make up for lost time my first night back. The next morning at breakfast I asked her what she had done while I was gone. I wasn't happy to hear that she had gone out dancing three of the six nights I was gone starting with the first night I was gone. This led to our first spat, hell it was a fight, as a married couple. She still didn't understand why I didn't want her out dancing with other men while I was gone. "You never minded me dancing when we go out together. You even let me dance with other guys. Why is it a problem if I go when you are gone?" "Remember the times before we got married and the problems your "dancing" caused when I wasn't with you? You're a married woman now and shouldn't be out dancing without your husband. When I'm with you I can protect you and support you. I don't want you going out dancing by yourself when I'm gone." That seemed to put an end to her nights out when I was gone. For the next 18 months my business trips were few and far between. Most but not all of the trips I had to make, Marsha Ann was able to go with me. We treated them like a mini vacation or a mini honeymoon. Things were good. Our second anniversary rolled around and of course the gremlins decided that things were going too smooth for me. I had to go to Mexico for six days which put our celebration plans off until I could get home. Marsha Ann was not happy. She couldn't go on this trip because I would be way out in the boonies in an oil camp in the middle of the jungle with no town or other women for fifty miles. Marsha Ann didn't or wouldn't understand that I couldn't tell my boss that I wouldn't go. She had never worked a day in her life and didn't understand the responsibilities of a job. This was only our second real argument, but it was a big one. We both calmed down and spent our last few nights before my trip trying to love each other to death. She told me she decided to go visit her parents who were camping in their R.V. at Comanche Lake near Big Springs, Texas while I was gone. Marsha Ann said she would call me because she didn't want her phone ringing to disrupt her father's fishing. She did call me the first night I was there to make sure I got there safely. The call was mostly about how much we missed each other and couldn't wait for me to come home. She called every day that I was gone. The key being the daytime calls. When I did get home we were all over each other. She told me that she had spent the time I was gone with her parents at the lake. Our life got back to normal and I took Marsha Ann dancing every weekend. I would have preferred to stay home once in awhile but she had quit going out by herself so I thought fair is fair, let her enjoy herself. We would go to one of the dance halls around Midland and Marsha Ann would never miss a dance all evening. If I got tired she would dance with her girlfriends and once in a while with a guy that we both knew. She even danced with my old crew mate Jared a few times. If a stranger asked her to dance, she would refuse telling them she was a married woman. Her answer made me feel good and secure and safe. Sure I was safe and secure and then up jumped the devil to screw up my life I ran into Jesse at outside our office one morning about 2 months after I got back from Mexico. He had been in to see Billy Ray about a job on a new well that was starting in a month. We walked over to his truck to share a couple of beers and talk for a few minutes. He seemed nervous and started to say something a couple of times but would stop and then go on about something else. Finally I told him to spit it out. "Jason, I've got something to tell you and you're not going to like it. Just don't shoot the messenger, okay?" I nodded for him to go on. "I know you don't like Marsha Ann going out to the clubs without you but when you were in Mexico she was at The Ranch every night. And I saw......." He tried to continue when I hit him. He fell back against his truck and I yelled at him, "You're a lying piece of garbage." I started for him again. Jesse wrapped both his arms around me and held me so that I couldn't move. "We're not going there again, Jason. I'm not lying. Others saw her too. I didn't have the guts to tell you before, but it kept eating at me and I thought you should know." I calmed down and apologized for hitting him. It was hard to believe that Marsha Ann would go out like that when she knew how I felt about it. And she had agreed not to do it any more after our last talk about it. "That's not the worst of it buddy," Jesse continued. "Three different nights she went outside with a guy and was gone for about 45 minutes." "Who?" Now I was really mad. Not only was she going out alone where no married woman should be but going outside with a man did not look good. Maybe they were just getting some fresh air, but not for 45 minutes. Her actions would not pass the husband test. "Different guy each time," Jesse said. "I didn't want to believe that she was doing anything more than getting some fresh air so I followed her on one of the nights. Marsha Ann and this guy got into the back seat of a Cadillac. I didn't go over to see exactly what they were doing but I could see her legs in the up in the air and she handed him her panties when they got out of the car. I used my phone and took pictures of them getting into and out of that car, of her legs up in the air, and her handing him her panties." Now he hesitated a little and then showed me the pictures. I stood there with my head down and my hands on my knees trying hard not to throw up. Jesse helped me sit down on the tail gate of his truck and handed me a bottle of Jack Daniels. A couple of hits on the bottle and I was able to get hold of myself. Now what to do, I thought. If Jesse was right, Marsha Ann and I were done. "What are you going to do hoss?" He offered me the bottle again. I refuse the whisky, my dad had been a drunk and I didn't intend to let this turn me into one too. "Don't know just yet, but I'll do something you can damn well believe it," I answered. Jesse and I went into my office and downloaded the pictures from his phone to my computer. "Do you know any of these guys she was with? I think I would like to have a little talk with them, one at a time." "First I don't know them; I think they're just Saturday night cowboys that hang around The Ranch. Second,Jason stop and think you know none of them would have been with her without an invitation. This is all on her and even though you would feel better if you kicked their asses, if you go to jail because of this bitch, she wins," Jesse advised me. That night when I got home, I told Marsha Ann I must have eaten some bad tacos or something and went to bed early. I wasn't sure I could control my anger and pretended to be asleep when she came to bed. The next morning I left before she woke up and went to talk to Billy Ray. He was not only my boss but my good friend. I explained what was going on and what I wanted to do. "Are you sure this is what you want Jason? Don't you want to talk to Marsha Ann first?" "No need for anymore talk, I've got witnesses and photos and what could she possibly have to say that would explain what she did?" It was a rhetorical question; I really didn't expect an answer. "Will you help me Billy Ray?" I did expect an answer to that question. He picked up his phone and called the company's lawyer. After telling him what he wanted, Billy Ray listened for a minute and said, "I don't care if you have to break an arm, get it done. Bring the papers to me before end of business today." Before I left the office I had printed out the pictures and had the divorce papers for Marsha Ann's signature. It's amazing how fast legal things can get done when you know the right people. Billy Ray knew the right people. Marsha Ann was surprised when I came home early. I know it's a cliché but I told her I had to go to Oklahoma and would be gone for two nights. She helped me pack a bag and asked if I had time for a quickie before I had to leave. Shaking my head no, I left. She seemed a little upset when I didn't hug or kiss her before I left. Later I thought I should have so she wouldn't be suspicious. I spent the rest of the day at one of rigs talking to Jared. Around 8 PM I went home and as expected Marsha Ann wasn't there. I made myself comfortable in my chair with a cooler full of beer and waited for my precious bride to come home. It was getting on to 1AM but I was on only my fourth beer when Marsha Ann came through the front door. She was alone, which was a good thing. I don't think I couldn't have held myself back if she had brought a boy toy home with her. Marsha Ann locked the door and went into the kitchen. She turned on the light and got a beer. As she turned around she saw the pictures that I had spread out on the table. Her hair was messed up and her clothes looked wrinkled. "Oh god no," she said. She looked around and saw me standing in the doorway and slumped down into a chair. "Honey, it's not what ........" she started. I held up my hand to stop her. "It's exactly what it looks like Marsha Ann. It's my wife at a dance hall, when she was supposed to be with her parents. It's my wife getting into the backseat of a car with someone other than her husband. It's my wife with her legs waving in the air. It's my wife giving her panties to some guy, again not her husband. Did I miss anything? Did I leave anything out?" As I talked I could feel the rage and hurt building up in me. I threw my beer bottle against the wall above the sink and it exploded spraying the kitchen with beer and glass. Marsh Ann flinched and said, "You were gone and I was lonely and it just sort of happened. I'm sorry." I couldn't believe she was going to use that tired old line that it happened because I was gone. "That dog won't hunt girl, I was gone for one night before you started your little romances, one night, not a month or even a week but one night. Yes I said romances, plural. I know about at least two other guys too. What I don't know is how many others there have been. Did the other two just sort of happen too?" The anger was fighting with my self control and I knew I had to get away from her. I went into the bedroom and carried my two suitcases out to my truck. I had packed them while I was waiting for her to come home. "Where are you going? Please stay and talk. We can get past this, it didn't mean anything." "You didn't even wait 12 hours after I left today before you went out to party. How lonely could you get in 12 hours? When I told you I was going, you were already planning your little fling." "No, that's not the way it was. I went for a drive and ended up at The Ranch. I didn't plan it and I didn't do anything wrong. I swear," she told me. It's a damn shame, she sure is a pretty thing, I thought. We had it good for awhile. "I'll believe that if you can do one thing for me Marsha Ann. If you can show me that one thing and prove what you said, I will unpack, stay and work this out. ONE THING. Show me that you're still wearing your panties. OR DID YOU GIVE THEM TO THE GUY THAT YOU WERE WITH TONIGHT?" The way she slumped further down onto the chair and put her face in her hands answered that question. I threw the divorce papers in front of her and told her to sign them and get them back to my lawyer. "I have been fair, we'll split what's in the savings and checking accounts and you can have the furniture and your car. The house is rented so that's not a problem, you can stay or go. It really didn't matter because I'm gone. I suggest you sign them. You won't do so good if you contest the divorce. You know how the courts are here." Women who commit adultery do not fare well in the divorce courts of Texas. It's still a "good ole boy" network state and a cheating wife is treated about the same as a horse thief. Maybe that's not fair or politically correct but that's the way it is and that's okay too. I moved in with Jesse for a while and the first week away from Marsha Ann was the hardest. The anger and hurt was still strong but I missed her too. She called me every two or three hours on my cell and three or four times a day at the office. The first time she called my cell and at the office I told her to leave me alone and sign the papers. I refused to take her calls at the office after that and turned off my cell. A new cell phone solved the problem of Billy Ray having to contact me when he or I were out of the office. The separation entered its second week and Marsha Ann started to wait for me in front of the company building. Judy would clue me in which door she was at and I would duck out the other one. Cowardly I know, but I wasn't sure I could control myself and didn't want to take the chance that I might smack the hell out of her. Finally things reached a breaking point and I told Billy Ray I was going to make a run to some of our wells in northern Texas and Oklahoma. The trip should take about two weeks and maybe Marsha Ann would understand that we were not going to work through this problem. When I came back from the business trip Judy had a letter for me from Marsha Ann. I started to throw it into the trash but Judy suggested, hell ordered, me to read it. You didn't mess with Judy; she was a force of nature. In the letter Marsha Ann promised that if I would give her 30 minutes to talk to me that she would sign the divorce papers if I still wanted her too. I called Marsha Ann and set up a time to meet at my lawyer's office. I would give her 30 minutes and have this all over with, I thought. Friday afternoon at 1PM I walked into the lawyer's office and Marsha Ann was sitting in the conference room. The divorce papers were on the table in front of her. My attorney sat in, both to run the "meeting" and as a witness. I slid the document across the table to Marsha Ann and said, "Sign the paper Marsha Ann." "But you said you would give me 30 minutes," she said pleadingly. "I don't trust you. I could give you the time to talk and you could refuse to sign and we would be right back to square one." "I promise you Honey, talk to me and then I will sign if you still want me to," Marsha Ann replied. "Yeah you promise, but you promised that there would be no one but me when we got married too. You promised that you would quit going out "dancing" when I was gone. And you see how that went. Sign the damn papers and I'll promise to talk. If I change my mind, we can tear up the papers." She signed the papers and I had the lawyer witness and notarize it. Then he left us alone to have our talk. "You wanted to talk so go ahead, the clock is ticking." I looked at my watch. Marsha Ann spent the next fifteen minutes telling me that she was sorry. She said she was mad at me for going to Mexico on our anniversary and went to The Ranch to spite me. She continued saying she had too much to drink and going out to that guy's car just sort of happened. Then I got the line about it didn't mean anything, it was only sex. And I was the only one that she loved. There was a lot more of the typical bullshit but I let her talk and didn't interrupt her. Finally she wound down and stopped talking. "Are you finished? Have you said everything you wanted to say to me?" She nodded her head. "Okay, now I have a few things to say to you. Before we got married, did Johnny Ray playing with your tits in that booth just happen too? Your past history at those dance halls doesn't help me to believe you. While I was in Mexico you went outside with at least two other guys, I have witnesses. Did they just happen too?" I was speaking in a normal voice, not yelling or shouting. My mama always told me that if you yelled at someone they would get defensive or start to yell back. They would start thinking about how to defend themselves instead of paying attention to what you were saying. "If your little escapade in the backseat of the Cadillac just happened, what about the other two guys. If you felt guilty about what you did, why did you go back the very next night and every other night that I was gone? And you know the real kicker here, the real tragedy?" Marsha Ann was sitting across from me with tears running down her cheeks. She shook her head no to answer my question. "You've destroyed everything that I care about with your little "it just happened". You've destroyed our marriage, I might be able to forgiven you but I won't ever forget. If we got back together every time you didn't answer the phone when I called, or you took too long to go the store or beauty shop I would wonder if you were meeting someone. Every time I would leave on a trip, I would wonder if you would decide that it would be okay to go to a dance hall." I had to stop for a few seconds and get my control back. Remember what Mama told you, I thought. "You've destroyed my career and my home. I can't stay in Midland, because everywhere I go it reminds me of you. All the restaurants, the movie house, and even the dance halls would remind me of you. So I have to leave. But the worst thing you did was you destroyed any chance I would ever have of loving someone else. I'm dead inside. I can't let anyone get that close to me again because of what you did to me; I'm afraid of being hurt again." By this time Marsha Ann was really crying but still listening to me. I stood and looked down at her and started toward the door. Because of You "I won't wish you good luck, but I do hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. Maybe there's a guy out there that's willing to go along with you going dancing and being a slut. But it's not me, not by a long shot. Go to hell Marsha Ann." I walked out leaving her sobbing at the table. Billy Ray had tried to talk me out of leaving, but understood why I couldn't stay. He wished me luck, told me I could always come back and gave me my last pay check. He shook my hand and turned back to his office; I believe he had tears in his eyes too. Judy hugged me and kissed my cheek and told me to let myself heal and then come back to them; she definitely had tears in her eyes. Having already said good bye to Jesse and Jared and packed my stuff in my truck; I stopped and spent a couple of hours with Mama and my sister and left some money for her. They both knew what Marsha Ann had done and didn't try to talk me out of leaving. "As I hugged Mama good bye she said, "If you run from trouble or problems you can get away for a little while but every time you look over your shoulder there they are; waiting for you. Go ease you mind for little while, but you can't run away forever." She kissed me on the cheek and went back into the house. I promised to call or write them as I traveled around. Then I pointed the nose of my truck west and started driving. I had decided to leave Texas and get out of the oil business. Didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do, but that last check Billy Ray gave me would keep me going for a few months. That check was for three months salary and a sizable bonus. ******************** Because of you I find it hard to trust Not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid So back to where we started, I just turned 30 and am unemployed looking for somewhere to lite. Because of my last check from Jones Oil Company, I had enough to keep me going for four or five months if I didn't spend like an oil sheik. I headed west with stops in Van Horne Texas where I spent a couple of days. My next layover was in Albuquerque, New Mexico. After the eight or so hours on the road I was ready for a good meal and a nights' sleep. I wasn't in any hurry so I spent a few days as a tourist. The Sandia Peak Tramway was a peaceful ride up the mountain and a great view of some beautiful county. I sampled the Tex-Mex menus at several cantinas and just relaxed for awhile. I decided to go to California. I had never seen the ocean and a little fun in the sun might just be the thing for this ole boy from Texas. When I got to the Pacific, I was suitably impressed; pictures and movie doesn't do it justice. I kicked around the beach for about two weeks, watching the waves. Mostly I watched the beach bunnies in their little tiny bikinis. I may be emotionally dead and didn't want to get close to anyone, but I sure did like looking at the lovelies on the beach and in the water front bars. While I was on the beach, Billy Ray called to tell me that the divorce was final. I was legally a free man. A lot of people don't realize that there are several oil fields in California; Signal Hill, Santa Fe, and Huntington Beach just to name a few. In the early 1920's California was the number one oil producing state in the country. I talked to a couple of people that Billy Ray had told me about and got a job with one of the companies. No, I was not a driller or a rough neck, but I did inspections and preventative maintenance on the all ready producing wells. I thought I better make some money instead of just depending on Billy Ray's last check. I worked and knocked around the L.A.-Long Beach area for several months. Southern California is beautiful, has a great climate, and some of the most beautiful girls in the world; however it's not Texas. There's just something about Texas that draws people home; even to the flat plains of the west Texas oil fields. I decided that I had run away for long enough and needed to start for home. There was no timeline but I was headed back to Midland. Leaving L.A., I headed east on I-40 to Flagstaff, Arizona and then turned north to visit the Grand Canyon. It takes more than one day to see the Canyon and appreciate it, so I spent four days there. I made the hike down into the Canyon to Phantom Ranch, spent the night and hiked back out the next day. Tough hike, but well worth the effort. I retraced my route back to Flagstaff and spent the night. The next morning headed back west I drove to Laughlin, Nevada which is on the Arizona/Nevada state line. Laughlin has several casinos, and is like a mini Las Vegas. I knew this was backtracking a little but Laughlin might be a good place to spend a few days; it was lively, loud, and full of people enjoying themselves. Maybe I could be like them instead of thinking about my ex-wife. I spent a couple of days exploring the different casinos; I saw a few of the floor shows, and tested my luck and skills at Texas Hold' em. My first boss Butch and the boys on that first rig must have taught me well, I won a small tournament that I entered. Aside from the cash prize, I won a seat in a much bigger tournament starting the next night. Not a small thing that seat, the tournament had a $500 buy in with a first place of $10,000. I really didn't think I could win, but if I could make it to the last twenty players I would finish in the money and get my entrance fee back. Plus it took my mind off of Marsha Ann. Again the lessons taught to me by Butch and the crew proved valuable. I didn't win but I did place third and won $3000. The casino wanted publicity pictures with the top three finishers and the casino manager. I hit the jackpot again; the manager was a friend and former class mate, Ron Nichols. After the pictures Ron invited me to have dinner with him in the VIP room. We had a good time playing catch up. Ron wanted to know what I had been doing. He asked if I had gotten off the oil rigs and what I was doing in Laughlin. I questioned him about the same things ending with how he became the manager of the casino. "You know I took Hotel Management and Business Administration at school and after a training and breaking in period, the company sent me here to Laughlin," Ron explained. "Now what's your story and don't leave anything out." I told Ron about my job with Jones Oil to answer his question about getting off the oil rigs. The rest of my sad story concerning Marsha Ann was told to him over more Jack Daniels than I should have had. By the end of my story, I knew I was in no shape to drive and Ron got me a room at the casino hotel. Ron did say he hoped Marsha Ann rotted in hell or something like that. It's good to have friends. The next day we met for brunch and continued our old home week. "What are you plans now, Jason?" "I haven't thought past the tournament last night. Don't really know what I want to do now, but this traveling around is getting old in a hurry. It's fine to do on a vacation but not as a life style. Not for me anyway." We talked for most of the afternoon and after I had a chance to rest for a couple of hours we went to dinner, again in the VIP section. Ron arranged for a couple of lovely young ladies to join us, just for company you understand. It was nice to look at some scenery that didn't have trees or mountains, but I wasn't interested or ready for anything more than a dinner companion. The ladies were not professionals, they were a couple of Ron's playmates and he was willing to share with me. Like I said, it's good to have friends. Ron and the ladies left me at the bar after dinner and went on their way. I had one more drink, left the bar and went to the VIP poker room. I didn't need to start looking at the world from the bottom of a bottle, even if it was a Jack Daniels bottle. I watched the games for a few minutes and then sat in on a hold' em game with a $2500 buy in. I was playing with my winnings from the tournament so the buy in didn't dig into my bankroll from Billy Ray's check or the money I had saved from my job in California. After about two hours I decided I to quit and cashed in my chips. I added another $8000 to my bankroll. I went back to the bar to get one more drink before heading to bed. Sitting at the bar was Julie, one of the lovelies that had joined Ron and I at dinner. She smiled at me and accepted my offer of a glass of wine. We had a very pleasant two hours of conversation until we were the only ones left in the bar. She suggested that we get a bottle of wine and adjourn to her room to continue our talk. The next morning I woke up next to her in bed. She was lying on her back totally nude and was stunning. The little noise she was making was so delicate that I don't think you could say she was snoring. I can't say it enough; it's really good to have friends. After showering, I kissed her good bye as she lay in bed. Julie told me she enjoyed our time together and invited me to come back. I was going to meet Ron for breakfast before I left. This wasn't a relationship just two healthy young people enjoying each other. Ron and I were eating as I told him about Julie. "She's just what I needed to begin repairing my ego. Very nice girl." He just laughed and told me it was her idea to wait for me at the bar last night, "I think she liked you from the first. Answer a question for me, will you?" Ron continued without waiting for my okay. "What the hell are you doing? The Jason I knew would never run away like you did. The Jason I knew would have stayed and rubbed the bitch's nose in what she lost. If you let it, all this shit will just follow you around. Talk to me buddy." I looked at Ron for a few seconds and then started to laugh. "You sound just like Mama," I said when I stopped laughing. "She told me about the same thing; your problems will stay on your ass until you turn and meet them head on. I didn't know you were that smart Ron." We both laughed and talked as we finished breakfast. As I stood up, Ron asked, "What are you going to do?" "I'm going to take a friends advice and go rub Marsha Ann's nose in what she threw away. I'm going home and get on with my life. Thanks Ron, if you're ever in Midland give me a call. You're a good friend." Pointing the nose of my truck east, I started my drive back home. I would go to Billy Ray when I got home and see if my job was still available, after all I had been gone for almost a year. If not, I could get a job as a rough neck or driller on one of the oil rigs and look for a chance to improve my life again. I could stay with Mama until I found my own place. Repeating history I guess. Maybe so, but I was done running away. ******************** When I got to Midland I went to Mama's place first and she invited me to stay with her for as long as I needed to. The next morning I was sitting on the hood of my truck in front of Jones Oil when Billy Ray got there. I had already been inside to see Judy and she promised not to call Billy Ray so I could surprise him. He was on his cell phone when he pulled up in his Cadillac and not really paying attention. Billy Ray shut down his phone and climbed out of his car taking about three steps before he saw me. He was so cool; there was no shouts of hello or grabbing my hand to shake it or even a smile. An outsider would have thought that these two ole boys had just seen each other a short time ago. As Billy Ray passed me on his way into the office, he said, "Care for a cup of coffee, Jason?" I nodded and followed him to his office. Judy already had the coffee on his desk. She smiled at me, sort of shook her head and smiled at Billy Ray's reaction to my return. Judy patted me on the shoulder and closed the door as she left. For the first time Billy Ray showed some emotion. "Damn, I'm glad you're back son. The timing couldn't be better." "Well, I'm glad the timing of my return meets with your approval Billy Ray," I told him. "I need to get you up to speed on what's going on with the company because you have to take over the whole shooting match in four weeks. You'll have to run it for about three weeks after that." There was my answer about my job still being open; no question that it was. "What'da mean run the whole thing for three weeks? What are you going to be doing?" I had no idea what he was talking about. "I can't very well take the business with me on my honeymoon, now can I boy?" "You're getting married?" Stupid question, why a honeymoon if there was no wedding. "Oh, did I forget to tell you that? Yeah, I'm gonna marry Betty Sue Volmer in a month and be gone for three weeks after that. Maybe longer, don't know for sure." "Isn't she the widow woman that owns that café over on Front Street? When did all this come about?" Billy Ray explained it to me. He and Betty Sue had been dating, sort of on the sly, for about seven months. She sold the café and her house and was going to move to San Antonio but he wouldn't let her go. Billy Ray told her, you might as well marry me and stay here; you know you'll just be driving back and forth to see me anyway. He did admit that it wasn't the most romantic proposal but it worked. "I rented your old apartment after Marsha Ann pulled out and Betty Sue's kids can stay there while we're gone. Their old enough to look out for themselves." "How old are her kids, Billy Ray? How old is Betty Sue if she's got kids that can take care of themselves? For that matter how old are you? "Let's see, Kelly is about 25 and Jeff just turned 19. He's going into the Air Force in three months so he won't be around much longer. The kids can manage in that two bedroom apartment until he leaves and Kelly can stay there after that if she wants to. She broke it off with some guy in Austin after she caught him in bed with her roommate and decided to come back home. As far as Betty Sue I guess she's about 45 or so and I'm of legal age and know what I'm doing." Billy Ray laughed at his joke about his age. "Oh by the way, I need a best man, you up for the job?" He laughed again at the surprise on my face and took it for granted that I would say yes. Billy Ray had been married for 30 years to Molly but she had left us due to a cancer a couple of years ago. It was good to see him happy and involved in something other than Jones Oil for a change. My second day back at the office, Billy Ray brought Betty Sue around to introduce her to the guy that was making it possible for the love birds to take an extended honeymoon. She was friendly, funny and intelligent and it didn't hurt that she was a damn good looking woman. She may have been 45 but she could have passed for 35 in broad daylight and much younger by candle light. We had just finished the pleasantries of nice to meet you, how are you, good to finally meet you and such when her daughter came into the office. "Jason, this is my daughter Kelly, Kelly this is Jason, Billy Ray's right hand man," Betty Sue introduced us. I'm afraid I didn't make a very good impression on Kelly. I just stood there and didn't say anything; I finally nodded at her and sat back down behind my desk. For a guy that was supposedly dead inside and had no interest in women, I sure was stunned by Kelly. She looked like a younger version of her mother but wearing boots and jeans. Long auburn hair, corn flower blue eyes, and tall at about 5' 10", of course two inches of her height was the boots she wore. Kelly was athletically slender, not thin but toned to just this side of muscular. She, like her mother, was very friendly, funny, and intelligent. Kelly turned to her mother and said, "If we're done with the wedding plans for now, Jeff and I want to go out to the ranch and do some quail hunting tomorrow morning. Is that okay?" Betty Sue replied, "Sure go ahead, but be back by evening, I have that meeting with the preacher and I want you there. You know how he riles me up sometimes and with you there I won't kick his ass out the door." She got a thoughtful look on her face, then smiled and said, "Why don't you take Jason with you guys?" My objections about just being back to work, my hunting equipment was in storage, and not having the right clothes were pushed aside by Billy Ray. He said that I wouldn't have much time off for the next couple of months so take advantage of this lull before the storm. Billy Ray went out to his Cadillac and brought in his shotgun and some shells and solved that problem and told me all I needed was some jeans and boots and I was all set. "I guess I don't have a choice here. Kelly if you don't mind I would like to go with you guys," I told her. The next morning very early Kelly came to my mama's place to pick me up for the two hour drive to their ranch. "Jeff decided not to go so it's just us. That okay with you Jason?" I nodded and off we went. The drive was pleasant and we learned a lot about each other. No prying or deep discussions, but just talking among new friends. We had a good time that day, at least I did. I developed a respect for Kelly. She did everything with a grace and ease that I found fascinating. I found myself watching her instead of hunting for quail. Kelly got her limit of quail and I only got two, but I had a great time. On the drive back to town she and I talked mostly about the upcoming wedding and Billy Ray. Kelly liked him almost as much as I did. Though the wedding was the main topic we did learn several things about each other and found that we had a lot in common. She was an outdoor type of girl that liked to hunt, fish, camp, and ride horses. I enjoyed the same things. She dropped me off at my mama's and as I got my gear out of the truck said, "It was fun Jason, let's do it again soon." Kelly honked the horn twice and drove off to the meeting with the preacher. I hit the ground running and for the next four weeks I learned much more about the oil "bidness" than I had ever done before. By the time Billy Ray got married, I thought I could handle the day to day operation as long as an emergency didn't come up. Billy Ray told me that his future bride told him that he could phone and talk business for an hour a day but not on the weekends. It was a big concession from Betty Sue but she understood that he had to keep up on what was going on. During my "training" period, Kelly and I would do something together at least on the weekend. We would go fishing or hunting or take all day horse rides on the Volmer ranch. Sometimes Kelly would meet me after I closed the office and we would have dinner. I was beginning to think that being a hermit as far as women were concerned may not be the best course of action to follow. We talked about a lot of things on our drives to and from the ranch and our nights at dinner. I told Kelly about my busted marriage and the reasons. She told me about the ex-boyfriend in Austin. Kelly wasn't really broken up over the guy; they had only been going together for six months or so. But she really was pissed off that the ass cheated on her with her best friend. We both had baggage I guess, but mine was a bit heavier I think. The wedding day came and I had never seen Billy Ray so nervous. A man who could negotiate multi-million dollar oil leases was literally shaking in his crocodile skin boots. I gave him a shot of Jack Daniels to calm him down while we waited in the church vestibule until we took our place at the front of the church. Betty Sue was stunning in an ivory colored dress; it wasn't a wedding dress but was very formal. Kelly was her maid of honor and came down the aisle before the bride. She was wearing another formal typed dress but in a deep blue; the color brought out her auburn hair and blue eyes. I know that the bride is supposed to be the most beautiful one on her wedding day but in my mind Betty Sue had stiff competition in the beauty department from Kelly. Jeff walked his mother down the aisle. Because of You There was a large reception was at The Ranch of all places. Maybe now the place would hold happier memories for me. A large contingent of oil rig workers was there by invitation including my old friends Jared and Jesse. I had a chance to catch up with them and some of the other rough necks I had worked with. Kelly as the maid of honor and I as best man were sort of thrown together all night. There were pictures, seating at the bride and groom's table, and the traditional dances. I don't really think we had to be forced to spend the time together; in fact you couldn't have separated us with a crow bar. We spent the evening enjoying each other's company because we wanted to. Needless to say, a good time was had by all who attended. The first week of the honeymoon, I called Billy Ray at least every other day to understand how to handle some unexpected items that came up. By the time the third week came around, he had to call me to find out what was going on. I had grown into the job and was doing well at it. The newlyweds decided to extend their trip for another two weeks because the business was in good hands. I was glad when they came home and I could go back to my old job and get rid of the responsibilities of being the "boss" of Jones Oil. While her new step-father and mother were gone, Kelly and I continued to meet a couple of nights a week for dinner and have our little adventures on the weekends. Once the new couple returned we saw no reason to stop spending time together. In fact I had more time now that Billy Ray returned we increased our "dates", both in number and in activities. By this time Kelly and I were more than just good buddies spending time together. We were half assed in love with each other and had started to talk about "us". I had come to the conclusion that I couldn't wallow in self pity or cut myself off from people anymore. Maybe I would be hurt again but I decided I couldn't go through life being afraid of loving someone or having someone love me. Kelly in this case. I knew that she could hurt me but I thought it was worth the gamble. Every time I would start to hint or talk about moving our relationship up a notch, she would smoothly changed the subject or get me to talk about something else. Now I know it's usually the women that want a clarification on a relationship. But considering my history, I wanted to know if I was setting myself up to be hurt again. Mainly I wanted Kelly and me to be "us" instead of just Kelly and me. Hell of a turnaround for me, don't you know. One Friday night after dinner, Kelly suggested that we go dancing. We had been to a couple of neighborhood bars and danced a few time, but she wanted to go to a big dance hall. She wanted to go to The Ranch. I wasn't thrilled with her choice as it still held some bad memories for me. I thought maybe it's just another step I need to make to get rid of the baggage in my life. We got to the honkey tonk and it wasn't too busy as it was only about 8:00; it would start to fill up around 10:00. Kelly and I had just come back to our table after dancing when up jumped that same damn devil that had screwed up my life before. Remember him? I had pulled out Kelly's chair and she sat done when I heard, "Hello Jason. It's good to see you." It was Marsha Ann with her flavor of the night or week or whatever, another urban cowboy. Seeing Marsha Ann brought back all the anger and hurt from so long ago. Feelings I thought I had put behind me. She was still very pretty but had a hard look about her. If she was a horse I would have said she had been rode hard and put away wet. Marsha Ann stood there waiting for me to say something to her. "Hello Marsha Ann," I said without enthusiasm. "I haven't seen you in what about a year and a half or so? How have you been?" Marsha Ann looked at Kelly like she was a rattlesnake under a bush. "Aren't you going to introduce us?" That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I was sort of stuck with a dry well. "Kelly this is Marsha Ann, my ex-wife. Marsha Ann this is Kelly, my......." I hesitate a little. Did I introduce Kelly as a friend or my girlfriend or what? "Hi, I'm Kelly Volmer, Jason's fiancée. Nice to meet you." Kelly said and saved me. There was a challenge in her voice. Marsha Ann was a little shocked at the word fiancée. To be honest, so was I but I tried not to show it. Good ole Marsha Ann wouldn't let the challenge go unanswered and said, "Give me a call Jason and we can get together to talk about old times. Any reason two old friends can't have lunch or something, is there?" I was steaming. First I was angry at myself because of the feelings that seeing Marsha Ann drug up. Then I was angry at Marsha Ann for trying to put Kelly down by telling me to call her and the way she looked at Kelly. All and all I was about as pissed off as I had ever been. "No, I won't be calling you Marsha Ann. We have nothing to talk about at lunch or anywhere else. We're not friends and I don't want anything to do with you. I told you when we split up to go to hell. I meant it then and I haven't changed my mind. Go to hell and leave me alone." I took Kelly's hand and started to lead her out to my truck. Shouldn't have done what I did then, it was petty and below me, but I couldn't resist. I said, "C'mon Kelly let's go, something stinks around here." Marsha Ann's "cowboy" was younger than me by four or five years and shorter. He was huskier than me and I guess that gave him courage and he puffed himself up to challenge me. "We don't talk to our women folk like that where I come from," he said in a phony Texas accent. "Then go back to where ever the hell y'all come from, boy." I answered. I think my anger had over road my good sense and I wanted to hit something. Kelly stepped in between us and told the young man, "Buddy, you're about to make a bad career move here. It would be best for all of us to walk away." Marsha Ann grabbed the guys arm and pulled him toward the dance floor saying, "C'mon Bobby Jo, he'll kill you if you fight with him. I've seen him hurt men before. He's a brute." As we walked to the truck, I was muttering to myself. I opened the door for Kelly, jumped behind the wheel and drove away; still muttering to myself. When we got to her place, she turned to me and silently asked for an explanation. I think she was a little upset; her eyes bore into me like a laser. I told her that I was really disappointed in myself. That all the old anger and hurt had came back when I saw Marsha Ann and I thought I had put all that behind me. She nodded as I talked and said she understood. "What about this fiancée thing you said to Marsha Ann?" That really surprised me." "I thought Marsha Ann was trying to put a spur into you and I thought I would give her back some of her own medicine. Make no mistake she didn't have to come by our table, she did it on purpose. She wanted to torture you a little. I thought introducing myself as your fiancée would set her back a step or two." Kelly smiled at me proudly. "One good thing about seeing Marsha Ann tonight, it showed me that I have no left over feelings for her, other than the anger I showed tonight. Now that's gone too. She hasn't aged all that well, I guess her party lifestyle is catching up to her. She looks hard." "What left over feelings did you think you had for her Jason?" Kelly's stare wouldn't allow me not to answer truthfully. "I guess I missed her and thought maybe I still loved her a little, in spite of what she did. Now I know that isn't so. I missed being part of a family. You know a wife and maybe kids someday. That's what I missed, not Marsha Ann." I was being as honest as possible. "Where does this leave us Kelly?" "You know how I changed the subject whenever you started to talk about a more serious relationship? Those left over feelings you talked about were the reason I did that. I could tell that you had something unresolved concerning Marsha Ann and until you dealt with them, I didn't want to get too close. I didn't want to love you and then get dumped," Kelly said. "Well I'm free now Kelly. I love you and know that all my ghosts are gone. Will you marry me?" "Are you sure that's what you want?" "Yeah, I'm sure. The only reason I haven't asked before is that you seem to shut me down when I got close to asking you before. Please, will you marry me?" The hugs and kisses we exchange in the front seat of my truck that night answered that question for me. ********************* Kelly and I have been engaged for a year and the wedding is in two weeks. The long engagement was to make sure that all my demons had been killed. They have. Billy Ray is going to have to run the business without me for about a month because Kelly and I plan to take a long honeymoon. We are going to the Grand Canyon and hike down to Phantom Ranch. It will be my second visit but a new adventure for Kelly. After that we are going to Laughlin to spend a few days with my friend Ron. He has promised us the VIP treatment. When we leave Laughlin, Kelly and I are going on a cattle drive in Colorado. We will help move a herd of cattle from the high country pastures back down to the ranch in the lower valley. If we have the time I will take Kelly to see the Pacific Ocean. None of these are very romantic, but the romance will be being together. We need to take the time while we can because when we come back I have a new job. I will be the big he dog at Jones Oil. Billy Ray is going to retire when we get back and he has made me a full partner. He says a man will always work harder for himself than for someone else. Betty Sue said it's just an excuse to do something nice for Kelly and me plus it keeps it in the family. I'll say it one more time: It's really good to have friends Quote: Life goes on