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Ari

By: Just Plain Bob



\Everybody has bad days, but when I have one it seems to go on forever. I was sitting on the side of the road with a flat on the right rear and when I opened the truck I found the spare flat too. I picked up my cell phone to call Triple A for roadside assistance and found that I was in a dead spot and couldn't connect to anything. That left me with two options - walk up the road or walk down the road. No real choice there. I could see my destination sitting on top of a hill about a mile and a half away and going the other way would be a five-mile walk to reach a phone. I grabbed my bag and set out for Charlie's place.

As I trudged up the hill I thought, for at least the twentieth time, that I really didn't want to be there. I would much rather have been in my own home with my wife all to myself rather than having to share her with thirty or forty other people, especially since she had been gone almost a week. Arrington, Ari for short, was the Executive Assistant to Charles Wellington Byrns, President, CEO, and Chairman of the Board and major stockholder in one of the Midwest's largest corporations. Ari's job meant that she went where Charlie went and that was all over the place and often. I wasn't very happy about it since I would much rather have her home with me, but Ari had made it perfectly clear when I proposed that if she accepted she was keeping her job. She told me that I needed to understand that the condition was non-negotiable and that she would not entertain any motions to reopen the question after we were married. Her straightforward, no nonsense approach to things was one of the qualities that I admired in her and if letting her keep her job was the price I had to pay to get her, so be it. Besides, I planned on using trickery - make babies and turn her into a stay at home mom. So far it hadn't happened, but I was trying hard.

Ari had been gone on a four-day trip to San Francisco and she and Charles had flown in at four that afternoon and had gone directly from the airport to his house. Tomorrow there was going to be a pool party at his house and the plan was for me to meet Ari there and spend the weekend. Then Monday Ari and I were going to take off for a week and spend some time together where we could be alone.

I suppose the easiest thing for me to do would have been to walk to the gate and hit the buzzer and wait for Charlie or some one to come down and get me, but the gate was still a mile ahead of me and I could see the house just off to my right. I decided to go cross-country and save myself a half a mile. The ground was a little rougher than I expected and it was slow going. It was getting dark as I approached the house from the side and I could see Ari sitting out on the patio reading a magazine. Charles came out of the house in a bathrobe and walked up to Ari and I was just about to shout and wave when he opened the bathrobe and put his hard cock inches from Ari's face. She put down the magazine, leaned over and took his cock in her mouth and started sucking him off. Not a word had been said, just walk over; stick out the cock, open mouth and suck. 

At first I was stunned into immobility and I just stood there and watched. Then the anger started to build and I began moving toward the house with mayhem on my mind. But the closer I got the more I wanted to know about what was going on. I slowed my advance until I was close enough to hear Charlie say, "That's it baby, no one does it better than you." 

I stopped and stood there quietly as my wife gave her boss a blow job. I was wearing dark clothes, it had gotten dark out and there was a stand of trees behind me. I figured if I stayed still I wouldn't be noticed. Ari was caressing Charlie's balls as she sucked his cock and his moans of pleasure masked any sounds that her sucking might have made, but I was painfully aware of what those sounds were like and just as painfully aware that I was going to miss them after this night was over.

On the patio Charlie moaned, "Here it comes baby, here it comes" and Ari let loose of his balls, grabbed his ass with both hands and pulled him as deep into her mouth as she could and then she gulped and swallowed until he went soft in her mouth.

Charlie was retying his bathrobe and Ari was reaching for her magazine when he said, "We have time for a roll in the hay before Bobby gets here. We will have plenty of warning because he has to buzz us from the gate."

"No, you know the twelve hour rule. I don't go from another man to my husband unless twelve hours has gone by."

"That's a stupid rule baby. You come to me after fucking other guys, sometimes only minutes after."

"Yes, but I love my husband, I only like you."

"I don't follow the logic of that."

"You don't have to - it's a wife thing. Bobby deserves better from me than he gets and I know it, so for my own peace of mind I have to do some things just for him. I won't go to him fresh from another man and that's also why no one ever gets my ass. My ass belongs to Bobby and only Bobby."

Charlie's bathrobe had fallen open again and his cock was erect again. He reached down and stroked it, "How about it? Can you do it again?"

"As long as you understand that as soon as Bobby rings the buzzer I'm done no matter how close you are to cumming. I have to have time to brush my teeth and gargle before I kiss him."

"How do you know he won't like the taste." 

"I don't know, but he isn't going to find out from me."

Charlie stepped forward and Ari took him in her mouth again. As he sucked him he asked, "Are you coming to my room tonight after you fuck his brains out?"

Ari took her mouth off him, "Do you want me to?"

"Hell yes. You know that I never get enough of you."

"Well if I can wear Bobby out and he falls asleep early enough I'll sneak down to your room. But if he's really horny and it gets too close to daylight I won't be there."

"What about the twelve hour rule?"

"We never have sex in the mornings so it will be twelve hours before we make love again."

"Make love?"

"Yes Charlie, make love. I make love to Bobby, I just fuck you"

"Speaking of fucking and coming to me from other men, Benson was most appreciative of your talents. He gave us his biggest order ever and he wants to see you again. Feel like flying back out to San Fran next week and paying him a visit?"

"Not next week. Bobby and I are going away for a few days. Tell Benson I'll come see him week after next."

"While we are talking about Benson, how do you want me to handle your commission?"

"Same as always, ten percent in my company checking account and the rest in company stock."

She bent forward and captured his cock again and I saw her tongue snake out and lick the underside. I'd seen and heard enough and I knew what I was going to do so I made my way around to the front of the house and rang the doorbell.

I knew that Charlie would know who was at the door because of the closed circuit video camera that was pointing at the door so I wasn't surprised that it took him several minutes to answer it. I'm sure that he had to go and tell Ari so she could hurry off to the bathroom and brush her teeth. Wouldn't want hubby dear to taste something strange when he kissed wifey dear, now would we? I had to force myself to act normal, be nice and not hit the bastard when he answered the door. I intended to catch the two of them in the act later on so I didn't want to make either one of them suspicious now.

I was explaining my flat tire to Charlie when Ari came hurrying down the stairs and into my arms. She kissed me (she tasted like Crest) and told me how much she had missed me and how glad she was to be with me. We had a few before dinner drinks, ate a leisurely dinner followed by a few brandies and some conversation before Ari said she was tired from the trip and the two of us headed upstairs to our room. I did the best I could to keep the rage I felt off of my face as I listened to Ari tell me how much she loved me, how much she had missed me and how horny she had gotten while waiting for me to arrive.

Ari was the most fantastic piece of ass I'd ever had and I was going to miss that part, but I would enjoy it tonight even if there were parts that she wouldn't. She started off with a blow job and even as good as it felt it was all I could do not to ram it down her throat as far and as hard as I could and choke her with it. I let her take me all the way to completion and then I went to work on her tits with my mouth and on her pussy with my fingers. When I was hard again I mounted her and fucked her as hard as I could until I came for the second time. Then it was sixty-nine until she had me hard again and then I took her from behind. I plowed into her until she started to have an orgasm and then I pulled my cock out of her miserable cunt and drove it straight into her asshole as hard as I could.

Ari loves anal sex, and usually I spend some time working on her with my thumb and fingers before I slowly work my cock into her, but not this time. I brutally rammed the cheating whore's ass as she screamed. 

"Bobby, you're hurting me." 

Yes I am you worthless whore I thought as I pounded my cock into her. She cried and asked me to stop, to slow down and take it easy, but I ignored her. She tried to pull away but I held her fast. This was the only way I could punish her and this would be my last chance to do it so I showed no mercy. Her cries slowly faded and became moans and then her ass started to accommodate me and she began pushing back at me. Two minutes later I sent my load up her shit hole, pulled out, yawned, and rolled over and pretended to go to sleep.

Ari got up and went to the bathroom and then she came back and snuggled up against me. Ten minutes later she gave my shoulder a little shove and when I didn't respond she got out of bed and left the room. As soon as I heard the door click shut I hurried out of bed and moved over to it. Quietly opening it a crack I watched Ari walk down the hall and go into another room. I tip- toed down the hall and put my ear to the door and heard Ari say, "All ready for me I see."

I went downstairs to Charlie's den and found a couple of magazines and books to read and then I went back upstairs and sat down in the hallway just outside Charlie's door, propped my back against the wall and settled in to read and wait. Occasionally I heard a cry, a few words that sounded like "fuck me, fuck me" and a lot of moans and eventually things got quiet. I heard Charlie's door click open and a cry of surprise when Ari saw me sitting there. She closed the door behind her and asked, "How long have you been out here?"

"Since about ten seconds after you went in." 

"Can we talk about this?"

"No, nothing to say really. That's why I'm sitting out here, so we can eliminate the "you don't understand", the "It's not what you think" and the "I can explain." When I got here tonight I didn't come up the drive from the gate. I thought I could save time by walking cross-country from the road and I came up on the side of the house just in time to see what happened on the patio and to hear the conversation that followed. Thanks, by the way, for brushing your teeth before you kissed me hello."

"I guess that explains the anal sex."

I just shrugged my shoulders and then I stood up, "I'm sure that you can make my excuses in the morning" and I turned and went downstairs. I used the phone in Charlie's den to call Triple A and then I headed out to meet them. Ari was waiting at the door, "Bobby, please stay with me, don't leave baby, please don't." I pushed her aside and stepped out the door and as I walked down the drive I could hear her behind me telling me that she loved me and begging me not to go. 

Ari and Kai



Kai and Ari lived their perfect life. They were rich, young (depending on how you look at it), and out almost everyday to bring back gorgeous sexy women. They had no trouble picking them up, women had been falling at their feet since puberty. 

Ari was 6'3, muscle bound, with long white blonde hair and beautiful green eyes. Kai was 6', slimly built. He had melted chocolate brown hair that fell in his eyes, eyes the exact same color set off by his golden brown skin. His simmering looks combined with Aris cool, icy handsomeness attracted every women from any bar they went to. If they'd been just pretty they would have been knocked up some by jealous men, but they weren't just pretty. Besides being able to protect themselves, they each had a – trick up their sleeve. 

Ari had been born in France, 1853. Upon his 25th birthday, after partying with friends, he had gone home with a beautiful lady. She'd killed him, and he had awoken a vampire. Over the many years, he had never taken a life to feed. He would go home with a woman and during some steaming sex drink her blood til she was unconscious. It was just enough to satisfy him, and she would sleep til the morning, when she would wake up extremely satisfied with the memory of a wonderful lover who kissed their necks in the most delightful way, leaving behind what looked a little like a hickey...

He was straight, but not homophobic. In 1986 he had been luring with vampire powers a beautiful man – boy really - with chocolate eyes to an ally to drink his tasty blood, which had attracted Aris attention from across the room. His surprise was comical when leaning toward the boy's neck he had found himself frozen in place. He pulled back in shock, question in his eyes. Kai coolly laughed, "Why so surprised, bloodsucker, you of all people" a smile at that "should know that some legends are true"

Only a person born with the old magic could resist a vampire. While humans were behind on the vampire myth, vampires were cocky enough to think that they were at the top of the power chain. They were, but with mages right next to them. Kai had been born a mage and had been developing his power for over a decade. The values of mages were centered on not abusing their power and trying to protect all those weaker from the vampires, who were certainly partial to abuse of power. Kai, who had recently turned eighteen (the age when mages come into their full power) had been looking for his first vamp to defeat. Recognizing Ari for one, he had obediently followed him to an ally.

They fought it out, until, on some silent truce, left it at that – for the moment. Kai stalked Ari, Ari stalked Kai, til one night some unfriendly vamps had tried to kill Kai. Ari had saved his life, and they grew close. While Ari seemed to get more morality from Kai, Kai also became more of a bad boy. He never compromised his values and all (yes, his values were as strong and many as the Royal Navy), he just lost his holy good boy sheen and became rather – wicked. Like the time with the up and coming senator's little German wife on the rooftop... Anyway, they were as close as brothers. Ari had added to Kais protection against vampires and anything else with a vampires "stamp" which would protect him from pretty much anything, including age (this when he was 23). Kai had extended all protection in his power right back at him.

It was harder to live agelessly then it used to be, but they were careful, needing no companionship besides each other, except for sex, which they managed well enough as well. Ari fiddled with the stock market off the money he had made much earlier as a plaything for rich older ladies. Kai was a chef, turning to private work – working for Ari, in return for room and board. Ari would have done anything for Kai, but you know, guy pride. He couldn't just give him money.

They lived in round building made of stone on the outside. They were surrounded by tall trees, around which was a tall wall ensuring privacy. Inside it was smooth shiny wood. It was built like a ballroom, with enormous round stairs circling up to a balcony type area looking over the first floor. From there was a large balcony with trees leaning over it. On the first floor was the bathroom, shower, sauna, kitchen, and living area. Upstairs were their beds and stuff. Light shone in from the many windows which were big, small, fat and short, tall and thin, diagonal, the works. They didn't buy stuff just because it was pricy but they did have several expensive goods, some statues in gold or silver, pretty much. There was a nearby barn-ish garage Before you ask about Aris coffin, the myth doesn't go quite that far, Ari was really pale and would burn very easily, but he could go out in daylight and he didn't die when he slept.

I didn't know any of this that night of course. I was passing by, figured I'd check out was in there. I dug a hole under the fence and went though – sorry, you're wondering about the BIG I must have ad to dig... Well I only needed a small hole. I'm – I can't pronounce it. My grandmother tried to tell me, but she was slightly batty. Anyway I have not an alter ego but an alter shape. I'm a cat. And a human. Anyway, I dug a small hole which I could get through as a cat, transferred, and checked out the windows. Saw some hot stuff, so I found an open window and, transferring again just in case and to avoid hassle, slipped though.

To Be Continued... 



Ari Ch. 02



[Author's Note: This is a sequel to "Ari", one of my favorite stories by Just Plain Bob, a story that stayed with me long after I first read it. Like a number of his shorter stories, it builds the bomb, lights the fuse and sets off the explosion, but without going on to show what happens after the dust settles.

I am deeply grateful to JPB for giving me his permission to post my own continuation, which will have two parts. If you hate what I've written, be sure to blame me and not JPB.]



Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He wouldn't stop and he wouldn't listen to me. I was crying, calling after him, begging for him to wait and let me explain. But he didn't even look back, he just strode off towards his car. Out of my life.

I cried for a solid hour, wept like I'd never wept before in my life—even when my mother died. You know the saying "you don't know what you've got til it's gone?" That's all I could think about. 

Finally I pulled myself together, washed my face, went into Charlie's kitchen to make some coffee, and sat and thought. I had always been a good problem-solver; in fact, that's what had made me an indispensable assistant to Charlie, long before I started fucking him, long before I became a part-time whore for the company.

So now I tried to look at my situation as just another problem to be solved. A big one, sure—but just another problem. I loved Bobby, and I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. 

Bobby had worked hard to win me, and it had taken some real doing. When we met I'd been working for Charlie for about four years. For the first year or so I was just his executive assistant; then I became his part-time mistress as well.

Charlie is about fifteen years older than I am, but we were a lot alike. Neither of us was attached at the time (I'd recently broken up with a boyfriend who couldn't handle how much I was away because of work), and we both liked sex. My initial reluctance to jump in bed with him was solely because I was afraid it might complicate our work relationship, maybe even cost me my job.

On the contrary, it made things better. We were good together sexually, for one thing. Charlie was a no-frills, suck and fuck guy; he had lots of energy and a nice-sized cock, and we had a great time. And I found it made working together much better: he trusted me more, taught me more about the business, and gave me more responsibility (and a nice raise).

We both understood that the sex was purely recreational; there was never any romance or long-term commitment. When Charlie was dating a woman, he'd slow down with me—even stop completely if things got serious. And when he was unattached again, he'd be all over me, once a day at least. He had a private suite in our main office building, and I was in and out of it ten times a day anyway, so no one at the company ever saw anything compromising.

And as for my love life, nothing ever seemed to get serious enough with a man to get in the way. I was committed to my job, I made that clear to each new potential boyfriend right away, and none of them lasted more than a couple of months.

The first time I fucked a client happened about a year after Charlie and I had started sleeping together. We were in bed in Denver one evening after a tough meeting with a potental client, and as we rested after a lengthy 69 he said, "you know, that Jeremy Robinson from Altratech is awfully taken with you. You could probably save us two more days of difficult negotiating if you'd just let him jump on your bones."

I looked at him, surprised but not angry. "You want me to whore myself out for the company?"

"Totally up to you, Ari. We're already making a lot of money. I have no doubt that we'll eventually get Robinson to sign with us—maybe not for the number I'm hoping for, but for something we can make a nice profit on.

"It's just that I've watched him looking at you during our meetings. Like a fat kid eyeing the last jelly-doughnut on the plate. If you let him know you might be interested, he'd think his birthday and Christmas had arrived at the same time."

I was silent for a few minutes, thinking about it. Jeremy Robinson was a tall, good-looking guy in his late 30s; certainly a man I would have dated, had I met him under other circumstances. He was single. And he was in a position to make us a lot of money.

I pulled Charlie into the shower, then came back to bed and fucked him again. When we were done I said, "how exactly would this work?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, say I go ahead and fuck Jeremy Robinson to get his business. What's in it for me, beyond whatever fun I have while I'm doing it?"

Charlie thought for a minute. "Well, our top sales people usually get an 8% commission on the first $1 million of a deal, plus 2% of everything on top of that. Robinson's contract will probably be worth $10-12 million, so you'd be looking at a check for about $280,000."

"But you just said that we'll get his business anyway. You'd pay me the whole commission?"

Charlie smiled at me and licked a nipple, making me shiver. "Sure thing. First of all, it'll save us a couple of days of haggling and we'll probably get a better price. And second, it turns me on to think of him banging you. But you have to promise to come straight to my bed when you've taken the starch out of him."

So it was Jeremy Robinson who made a true whore out of me. Somehow in my mind fucking Charlie didn't count—I mean, I was working for him already. Sex with him was something we both enjoyed, but we both knew that's not why he paid me.

But I fucked Jeremy for the money—or, rather, for the business he'd give our company. Which meant, in turn, for the commission Charlie paid me. Jeremy was greedy and energetic. He was all over me from the moment I arrived in his hotel room, and we did it for half the night. He liked to be sucked, and he liked me riding him, and we did a lot of both.

And when I slipped out of the room early the next morning and into bed with Charlie, I was almost too tired to enjoy my triumph. I did say "almost"—I have always liked a lot of sex, and Charlie was so turned-on by having sloppy seconds (or fourths) that his enthusiastic fucking brought me to one of my best orgasms ever.

After Jeremy Robinson, there were a few more—never more than 3-4 times a year, and never anyone but an important client. Charlie was fine with it. In fact it turned him on, and I found it incredibly exciting, the idea that men wanted to fuck me so much that they'd give our company their business.

Naturally I was careful. I was on the pill, to begin with. And I made the men use condoms (all except Charlie—he absolutely refused); and both Charlie and I got tested regularly, just to be sure we were healthy.

Charlie and I soon worked out a system for my commissions: I'd take some of it in cash, and the majority in company stock. This was on top of my very good salary, so I was well on my way to building up a major nest-egg.

And then Bobby came into my life. We met in a fancy restaurant when I stumbled into a waiter, who poured half a bottle of expensive red wine all over Bobby's suit! I was incredibly apologetic, and before we went our separate ways Bobby had wormed my phone number out of me.

I figured our relationship would go pretty much like the affairs I'd had in the past: hot and heavy for a while, and then he'd get tired of my work schedule and my frequent traveling and we'd say goodbye. But several things were different with Bobby.

First of all, I found I cared for him a lot. He was smart and funny, but so were many of the other men I'd dated. But Bobby was also sweet and attentive and a terrific listener. My high-powered job didn't threaten him, it interested him. He loved to hear about Charlie and the company and the work I did (though needless to say I never breathed a word about the sex part). When I had to be away he was patient and affectionate; he'd arrange for flowers to show up in my hotel room, along with cute little love-notes. He missed me, but he never tried to make me feel guilty about my traveling. Instead he would come pick me up at the airport, take me to his apartment and make me a delicious dinner.

And sex with Bobby was the best I'd ever had. I'd always been a girl who liked it hard and fast—intense and energetic, and frequently if possible. Bobby could do it that way, and he'd fuck me as hard as I wanted if I asked him to. But the gentle side of him came out in bed too: he loved just to hold me and caress me, to kiss my hair and stroke my breasts, to tease me with his fingers and his lips until I was shaking with desire. Nobody had ever made me feel so loved in bed before—I guess because nobody had ever really loved me before.

After four months I knew I was in love and it scared me to death. I wasn't about to give up my career, and I felt sure that Bobby would demand that I quit. But he surprised me. A couple of months later he took me hiking, and at the top of a mountain in the bright sunshine he got down on one knee, pulled out a ring, and asked me to marry him.

And then, when we had "the talk", he surprised me again. I made it very clear that I was keeping my job—that I loved my work and was good at it, and I had no intention of quitting or even of traveling less.

"I know that, Ari," he said. "Your work is #1 in your life right now. I'm just hoping you'll let me be #2. And that some day—no hurry—we'll find a way to bring some kids into the picture."

I surprised him then. I threw myself into his arms, and said, "yes Bobby, yes I'll marry you". And I cried.

Our married life was happy, even joyful. Unlike many couples, we somehow found a way to keep the same spark we'd had when we were dating. I think that my traveling was part of it, actually. Being away from one another 10-12 days each month meant that we really treasured the time we had together. Every reunion meant a romantic evening together, and some energetic reconnecting in the bedroom. And our time together always seemed too precious to waste on arguing, so we almost never fought. To sum it up, I pretty much felt like the luckiest woman on earth.

And what about my whoring? In my mind, it was simple. My recreational sex with Charlie, and my occasional romps with customers of the company, were all part of my work. I'd made very clear to Bobby that I wasn't giving up my work, and he'd agreed. So to me, what I was doing never felt like cheating (or at least not much). It was part of my job, and—needless to say—I left it all at the office. When I was at home with Bobby, I was entirely his, and thoughts of Charlie or the other men I'd screwed didn't even enter my mind.

Did I feel guilty? Did I think Bobby was getting a raw deal? From time to time, yes, it bothered me. That's where the twelve-hour rule came from, and saving my ass just for my husband. But I also found a very simple way to justify things to myself. Did Bobby know I loved him? Did I make him happy? Yes and yes. Was there any way that my fucking other men for work hurt him or denied him anything, so long as he never found out? No. Case closed.

Except that now, after more than three years of a very happy marriage, he HAD found out. And I had a major problem to solve.

***************

By the time Charlie got out of bed and wandered downstairs, I had dressed, packed and called for a cab. He saw the suitcases and said, "Ari? What's going on?"

I filled him in on everything that had happened since Bobby arrived. "I don't know if there's any chance at all I can save my marriage, Charlie, but I'm going to try. Consider this my resignation. I've really enjoyed working for you, but it's over."

I've never seen him look so shaken. "Ari, no! Please, don't rush into anything. How about if you just take a couple of weeks off?"

"No, Charlie. There's absolutely no way Bobby would ever even speak to me again if I were still working for you. This is the end."

"And what if you can't get him back? From what you've told me, he was pretty furious."

"To say the least! I don't know if I can get him back—I just know that I'm not working for you, or anybody else, until I've tried everything I can think of."

The cab ride home took nearly an hour, and when I got there a locksmith's truck was just pulling away. Not surprisingly, I found that my key no longer opened the door. I rang the bell, rang again, and kept ringing until the door finally opened and I was face to face with my husband.

"What do you want, whore?"

"Bobby, please, can't we talk? Won't you let me tell you how sorry I am?"

"Sorry for what—that I finally found out about your lucrative side-job? Just go away, Ari."

I felt the tears welling up again. "Please, honey—I love you."

He snorted. "If what you've been doing fits into your definition of love, then I guess I don't want any, thanks."

He started to close the door again. Desperately I cried, "wait, Bobby!"

He stopped and looked at me, and I said, "can I at least get some of my things?"

"I'll give you fifteen minutes. One moment longer and I'm throwing your cheating ass out the front door." He turned on his heel and headed down the hall to his study. A moment later I heard the door close and lock.

I cried as I hurriedly packed my computer and some clothes and my cosmetics; I cried as I dragged my boxes to the front door; and I cried as the cab carried me away, downtown to an anonymous room in a Hyatt Hotel—my new home, I thought.

And I cried most of that night, like I'd never cried before in my life. But by the next morning the other side of Ari was back in charge: the problem solver, the girl who knew what she wanted and needed only to decide how to go after it.

For six or seven years my job had been priority #1—I'd been damn good at it, and made a success of it. Now my marriage to Bobby was priority #1, as grim as things looked, and I was going to give it everything I had.

I spent part of Monday arranging to invest my money from Charlie's company. I had about $600 thousand in a cash account, and about another $2.5 million in stock options that had vested. I put those into a brokerage account. Clearly money wouldn't be a worry for a while. In the afternoon I rented a comfortable two-bedroom apartment, just so I could get the hell out of the Hyatt. And I made some phone calls.

The phone calls were to a number of male friends and acquaintances, to locate the best male shrink in the city. (I said it was for a troubled friend.) My plan was simple: To get past Bobby's anger at me and back into his heart, I was going to need a lot of help. And since Bobby clearly wasn't going to talk to me right away (if ever), I'd need someone else to give me the male perspective—to tell me what Bobby was thinking and I how I should proceed.

I saw Jonathan Erickson on Thursday morning. He was a slim, tweedy-looking guy with a scraggly beard, but he seemed pretty sharp, and I got right to the point.

"My husband has left me, and it's my fault, and I want your help getting him back."

"Is he willing to come see me with you, Ms...."

"It's Arrington Boswell--call me Ari. No, at least not right now. But what I'm hoping is that I can tell you all about him—we've known each other more than four years—and that you can help me understand what he must be thinking and feeling, and how I can reach him."

Dr. Erickson pointed out that this was a rather odd way of doing business, but he let me explain the circumstances of the case. I told him the whole long story—it took the better part of three sessions, and it was Monday when I finally finished. He sat back and looked at me in silence for a long time.

Finally he said, "Ari, you've been a prostitute behind your husband's back. He's just learned that everything important he believed about your marriage is a complete lie—that, far from being faithful to him, you've been banging several other men for money, not least (and on a regular basis) your boss, whom he knows personally.

"To be honest, why should I help you get him back? Why would he WANT you back? I almost feel like calling to offer him my services to help him get over you."

Ouch. I felt the tears come to my eyes.  I said, "okay, that was pretty damn blunt. But Dr. Erickson, Bobby isn't your patient—I am. I'm the one sitting here and I'm the one paying you. You should help me get him back because that's what I'm asking you to do. I still think I can make Bobby happy, even if you don't."

Another long silence. Then he said, slowly, "all right. Let's begin with you telling me about your husband, everything you know about him."



********************



Dr. Erickson and I met every weekday for more than seven months. I told him about Bobby's childhood and his rivalry with his big brother, now an Air Force captain; about his football career in high school, his two dogs, his first crush on a girl, everything I could think of. And of course we talked about our relationship and my career, how we had balanced things, the "rules" and lies I'd used to keep Bobby unaware of my whoring.

Gradually I could see a picture of Bobby taking shape in the doctor's mind—more and more as he spoke of Bobby he seemed to have a handle on what my husband would have been thinking or feeling.

And I began to grow a little more hopeful that, with Dr. Erickson's help, I could find ways to reach out to Bobby and get past his defenses. To get him to see what he meant to me, and that I would do anything for him.

"That's going to be the key," Dr. Erickson said one day. "He will need to know that you'll do absolutely ANYTHING for him, anything to get him back. From what you've told me, the important relationships in his life involved competitiveness, struggle, but also mutual respect and trust. With his brother; with his father, who sounds overbearing and forceful but extremely fair; and with the football coach.

"Bobby has thrived in situations where everyone knows what the rules are and everyone plays fair. He doesn't seem to like ambiguity or gray areas. In fact, one of the interesting things about your pre-marital conversations is how well he understood that your job would be priority #1, and your marriage #2. Most men would balk at that. But for Bobby it was clear, well-defined; it gave him security, something to hold onto.

"Now, of course, everything has been blown sky-high. At this point he probably sees your relationship as utterly false from the beginning, one in which you were never truthful about anything."

I started to protest, and he said, "I know, Ari. From your perspective you told the truth, just without one key set of facts—'by the way, I'm a whore for the company for time to time, and I have sex with Charlie regularly too; but otherwise I'm your faithful wife.' I've known you more than six months now, and I can see that that is how it worked for you.

"But for Bobby it feels like everything was one big lie. There is absolutely ZERO trust left in him, whatever love there may still be. And if we can even get him to start talking to you, you will have to prove yourself to him over and over again.

"He will test you and push you and try to trap you, in every way he can think of. That is, if he's willing to bother with you at all. The other possibility is that his anger and pain will simply fade into indifference, and he'll move on with his life. We'll just have to see."

It may have sounded grim, but I was elated. Like I said, I'm a problem-solver. As long as I can see a way forward and have some kind of plan, I feel like I've got a chance.



*******************

It wasn't that Bobby and I had had no contact during these seven months—just not much. At Dr. Erickson's suggestion, I'd done just enough to let Bobby know I still loved him, but without bugging him. No tearful phone calls every night, no oceans of letters or deliveries of flowers.




Ari Ch. 02



I did leave phone messages about once or twice a week; at first simply saying that I loved him and how very sorry I was for hurting him, later saying that I'd meet with him whenever he wanted to talk about the house and our things. I mentioned that I'd quit working for Charlie and was living full-time in Columbus now.

I heard not a word for over two months; then a lawyer sent a letter serving me with divorce papers and demanding that I produce a list of all financial assets. I sat in Dr. Erickson's office and cried, while we discussed what to do.

"It's simple," he said. "You have to play along. You have to be the submissive, apologetic wife who screwed up and is willing to take the consequences.

"Get your own lawyer and make sure he or she sets up a settlement conference at which Bobby will be there. Then go in dressed modestly, nothing flashy. Be totally cooperative, completely forthcoming about your financials. Make clear that you're willing to let him have the divorce and that he will get half your assets, no argument.

"I'm betting this will shock him. Good, that's the point. 'Why is she doing this?' he'll be thinking. 'Ari sure has changed!' That's the goal."

It all went beautifully, though it was still about the saddest day of my life. Four of us in a room for nearly an hour, and Bobby never spoke to me. He looked, though—and I could tell that my modest look—conservative outfit, hair down, no make-up—had an effect on him.

When Bobby's lawyer started blustering about "hidden assets" and so on, I just interrupted him and spoke directly to my husband.

"Bobby, here on this sheet is a list of everything I've earned from my years working with Charlie, right up until the day I quit. You can see that there's a cash balance and a stock position that together are worth about $3.1 million. That should be split 50/50 when we divide our marital assets, because it belongs to the marriage. I couldn't have earned that money without your love and support."

Bobby's jaw dropped, and his face turned a little red. I knew that my cooperation, and the offer of half my assets, was the last thing he would have expected.

He and his lawyer huddled for a few minutes, and then the lawyer came at me again. "In light of your client's flagrant marital misconduct, my client accepts the 50/50 split of your client's assets, but insists that the marital home and belongings and the contents of my client's retirement account remain his."

It was a ludicrously unfair settlement, and everyone in the room knew it. Before anyone else could speak I said, "I agree."

Bobby looked at me in shock, and I knew I had a brief window. "Bobby, I'm totally to blame here and I know it. I still love you, more than you know—and all I want is to be your wife. But since I know you want to divorce me, I'm not going to stand in your way. Take the money. It was never about the money for me anyway."

I watched him, and I saw his face soften and a tear start to appear. Then he looked away, wiped his eye with his finger, and grumbled to his lawyer, "are we done here? Can we just go?"

The lawyers murmured their "we'll be in touch" remarks and then Bobby was out the door, without another look back. My lawyer thought I was crazy, and told me so for the next twenty minutes; but I remembered the look on Bobby's face and I clung to it.



************************



About three weeks later the lawyer called to say that Bobby wanted me to go through the house one more time, so I could have a chance to take any possessions that were special to me before he sold them all.

Dr. Erickson said, "this is an opportunity you can't miss. You need to be in the house with Bobby, to have a chance to reminisce with him, to remind him of some of the good things in your marriage. After all these months, the heat of his rage has cooled a bit. He's still full of pain and confusion, but it's easier now for him to remember how much he loved you."

At first I couldn't make it happen. Bobby insisted he not be present when I went through the house. So I did it his way, I went back and spent a painful hour, looking at the pictures and the vases and the housewares we'd bought together, reminding myself of the life we'd built.

But I left without taking a thing. I wrote a short note telling Bobby that some of the items were very meaningful to me, but that I simply couldn't take any of them without his approval. Then I just waited. I knew he wanted to sell the house, so I hoped that time would be on my side.

After another two weeks, his lawyer called again and told me to go over to the house on Saturday afternoon. Bobby would give me an hour.

Dr. Erickson and I had two dress-rehearsals that week. I knew this was a big chance, and I wanted all the advice he could give me.

"No recriminations, no disputes, no anger! That's first," he said. "You are the guilty party, you are sorry beyond measure for the wonderful marriage you ruined, and you're taking your punishment.

"Beyond that, be wistful. Look for ways to remind him of happier times—the sculpture you bought together in Tuscany, the portrait of you both from a trip to the Southwest, whatever. Try to get him to smile and reminisce with you.

"Most likely, a happy memory will bring out his rage and his hurt all over again. Don't be surprised by that—expect it! Thanking of how much he loved you will remind him again of what you did to him, and he may lash out. All you can do is take it, and apologize again.

"If you get lucky—and it's a big if—he might say something like, 'Jesus, Ari, how could you have done this to me?' That's a big opportunity—grab it! All this time he has never let you tell your side of the story, and you have no hope of ever getting him back until he's heard it and understood it.

"So tell it, and for God's sake be totally honest! You don't have to puff up the sex, but don't minimize or excuse anything. This will be your ONE chance to lay it all out, to begin the process of Bobby getting over it."

When I got to the house that Saturday the door was open, but I rang the bell anyway. I wanted to make sure that Bobby saw me. He came into the front hall and gestured me in without a word; he kept his face blank, but I could see him devouring me with his eyes. He still cared about me!

He said, "I'll be in the den--let me know when you've assembled the things you want, and I'll come out and look through them. If there's nothing important to me you can just take it all."

As he turned away I said, "Bobby, please wait. I already have the list--let's just walk through the house together. I can point things out to you room-by-room and we'll be done much more quickly."

He looked resistant, and I said, "I know you want me out of here, and this will be the fastest way to do it."

He shrugged, and so we did it my way. The living room, the kitchen, the dining room... In each room I pointed to the one or two things I wanted to take, though my aim was really just to get him talking to me. I said, "that flowered bowl, could I have that? It reminds me so much of when we were on our honeymoon..."

I tried the same trick five or six times, and each time he just said, "sure, okay," and walked on in front of me. Finally I said, "there's just the photo albums left, Bobby--let's sit and quickly go through those."

Before he could stop me I'd pulled them off the living room bookshelves and sat down with them on the sofa. He reluctantly joined me, sitting several feet away, but I just shifted over closer to him so he could look on as I paged through the book.

I half-expected him to say, "fuck you, Ari, just take the whole goddam pile of albums, I don't give a shit about them anymore," but he didn't. He let me turn the pages and reminisce about our happy times together--our wedding, vacations, parties with friends in the back yard--and then suddenly he jumped up and started pacing around the room, his fists clenched.

"All those good times," he said, his voice harsh. "All those times when I was so happy, Ari--so sure I was the luckiest man on earth.

"How could you do it to me? How could you stab me in the heart like that? Make a fool out of me? I really thought you loved me, almost as much as I loved you!" There was agony on his face. I started to cry.

"Honey, I do love you--and I'm so sorry! I know I've ruined everything."

Before he could interrupt me I launched into the story, just the way I'd told it to Dr. Erickson. I made sure to stress that my sexual relationship with Charlie had been part of my job from long before I ever met Bobby--it just felt like something entirely separate from my personal life. The same thing with my occasional whoring with customers. I knew he would never see it the way I had, but it had been of no emotional significance to me at all. It simply had nothing to do with my marriage or my love for him.

And I reminded Bobby about my own personal history, which I'd shared with him when we were falling in love. My parents had a pretty unsuccessful marriage, though they did their best to make a good home for me and my younger sister Sarah. My dad slept around relentlessly, and after awhile it was so obvious to my mom that she stopped even fighting it. She had affairs of her own, and by the time Sarah and I were teenagers we realized that both our parents were adulterers.

In their own twisted way, mom and dad loved each other; but they sure never taught us about the importance of a loving sexual relationship within a marriage! On the contrary--we saw from their behavior that sex was something casual and not particularly emotional. It was pleasurable and sometimes exciting, but it didn't have anything to do with marriage or love.

I'd lost my own virginity at 16 to one of the stars on the high school basketball team, and had my share of partners (I didn't think of them as "lovers") after that. I guess I had almost a typical male attitude: sex was for fun, and there was no need to care for one's partner beyond feeling a sexual attraction.

In college there were four occasions when a professor or a graduate assistant came on to me, offering a better grade in exchange for sex, and in three cases I went along with it. Why not? The sex was fun, and I had a couple of Bs and a probable C turn into A's that helped me stay on the honor roll. (The fourth guy was just too old and gross for me to ever let him touch me.)

With a history like that, it was a perfectly logical step to have a sexual relationship with my boss at work--pleasurable, profitable, mutually rewarding, and in no way romantic or deep. And the same thing with fucking an occasional client. That began when there wasn't a man in my life, and it simply continued, a couple of times a year.

I watched Bobby as I talked. He gradually calmed down, and plopped himself down in a chair across from me. I could see him trying to make sense of it, trying to put what I was telling him together with the picture of me he'd formed over the years we'd been together. He looked puzzled and concerned, but not furious.

When I was done there was a long silence. I waited, and finally I said once more, "I am so, so very sorry, Bobby. I would give anything not to have done this, not to have hurt you. I love you very much, and I was a total fool."

"A fool, or just a cheating, lying, whoring cunt?" The words hurt, but he said them calmly, almost thoughtfully. His white-hot rage had been months earlier.

"Okay, then. A cheating, lying, whoring cunt--but not because I don't love you. Because I was an idiot, and because of what I'd learned growing up about what sex meant. Until I fell in love with you I didn't even know it could mean anything else."

More silence. "Okay," he said. "Thanks for telling me all that, Ari. It doesn't change anything, but it ... it helps, a little. I think.

"At least I won't spend the rest of my life thinking I was a rotten husband, or a lousy sex partner, or something."

"Oh, no, baby," I cried, "it was never any--"

"But that doesn't mean all is forgiven," he rode right over my words. "You are a whore--okay, you were a whore," he said, seeing me start to protest, "and you lived a lie with me, and now you're losing me. And that's that."

I looked at his face, through my tears that were starting to come again, and I could see that he was sad too. He didn't look angry, just very sad.

"I'm sorry, Bobby. I can't say it enough, even though I know it doesn't do much to make things better."

"I'm going to go," he said abruptly. "You can take the things we talked about--just pull the front door closed when you leave." And before I could say another word he'd gone into the kitchen, grabbed his car keys, and disappeared out the front door.



************************



"It doesn't sound like it went so badly," Dr. Erickson said. I was sitting in his office, crying a little as I told him about Saturday.

"He told me I'd lost him!"

"Yes, Ari, but we knew that already. You HAVE lost him. What we're working on is finding you a way to get him back--and you're far too smart to think that it's going to be easy.

"The strategy now is just to stay in touch. An occasional call, and maybe in a month or two a possible lunch date. Finding a way for you to stay in his life, even a little bit.

"Because he's pretty much over the worst of his rage and his hurt. He's sad, and he's thinking about what he's lost. And he's still angry, because it's your fault--but now that he's heard your side of it he can't hate you as much, partly because you're so miserable too.

"Which in turn makes him more angry! It's always easier when you can just hate the person who's hurt you; now that he can't, he'll have a new round of anger to work through."

"Jesus," I said, "nothing complicated about this, is there?" I was feeling a little better.

"The human mind is complicated, Ari. That's why these things take time."



************************



I left Bobby a low-key phone message, thanking him for letting me come to the house and talk to him, apologizing yet again for what I'd done to our marriage; and then I left him alone for a while.

Five weeks later the divorce papers had to be signed. I hoped I'd see him at the lawyer's office, but he'd signed them the day before. I didn't even cry. After more than eight months without Bobby, this was just a formality.

Since I had less need of Dr. Erickson I cut back to two appointments a week, and I went back to work. With a strong recommendation from Charlie I had no trouble landing a good position without travel responsibilities, at a large pharmaceutical firm in Columbus. The job was in the financial side of things, a great deal less interesting than my work with Charlie, but it gave me a reason to get up in the morning.

I still called Bobby about every other week, following Dr. Erickson's advice. Usually I got his machine, but once he picked up and, to my surprise, didn't hang up on me. We had a pretty civil conversation--he told me about his work, and seemed mildly interested in my new job.

He also told me all about the new house he'd bought, a little further out of town than the one we'd shared, and how great it was to live in a quiet, wooded area. He seemed really happy about it, and I was thrilled to be hearing about it.

But he also made a point of telling me about a new woman in his life, whom he'd met at a client meeting about two weeks after the divorce came through. Laura was young and blonde and very sexy, he said, and I knew he was telling me all this on purpose.

"She sounds great, Bobby," I replied; "I'm happy for you." I don't know if that surprised him, but I was thinking about what Dr. Erickson had predicted: "he's going to test you, and you have to be ready."

We continued to have an occasional phone conversation, always when I called him; and after another few weeks he even agreed to meet me for lunch.

"It's going to be about his new girlfriend," Dr. Erickson said. "He's going to rub her in your face, so don't be surprised."

Dr. Erickson was right. Bobby showed me several pictures, so I could see that she was short and pretty and very stacked, and he talked about her non-stop--she was so bright, so devoted to him, so kind and affectionate. And the sex, he said, was out of this world.

"I didn't know it could be so great," he told me, with a straight face; and I gave him a warm smile and said, "I am so glad it's working out--she sounds terrific!"

Did I mean it? Hell no! But I knew that there was absolutely no point in crying "but she'll never love you like I do!" or anything like that. There were two possibilities. One was that he'd really found his next true love, in which case there was nothing I could do.

And the other was that he was using Laura to get back at me--which meant that there was still hope. That he still cared enough to want to punish me, rather than just putting me in his rear-view mirror.



************************



Life went on. Bobby and I met for an occasional lunch, or a cup of coffee, and it started to feel a little like a real, if casual, friendship. Not what I wanted, of course, but far better than no contact at all. We chatted about our jobs, about local politics, and the rest. I was actually pretty amazed he was willing to see me.

But a part of every get-together was devoted to his singing the praises of his Laura, his beautiful and devoted new girlfriend. And I never failed to sound interested, pleased, delighted for his good fortune.

To my surprise he invited me to his house for dinner, making clear that Laura would be doing the cooking. I knew what I'd be getting, but of course I went anyway.

Laura turned out to be brash, dumb, and a bit silly. She WAS quite attractive--a bottle blonde but nicely built, with tits that were almost too big (if such a thing is possible for the average man). But she was clearly much less intelligent than Bobby or I, and I couldn't believe he didn't find her syrupy devotion a bit cloying.

Dinner was marked by her hanging all over him, smiling at me as she told me how marvelous he was, and giving him big hugs and long soulful kisses at every opportunity. Bobby seemed to bask in all this unsubtle attention, though I wondered how much of their lovefest was a show put on for my benefit.

So I took my medicine: I smiled and praised the food and told Bobby how lovely and charming Laura was, and how happy I was that they'd found each other. I even put up with her dull conversation about shoe-shopping and her frequent sly references to my failed marriage to Bobby--even to my whoring for Charlie. I was the soul of politeness.

And I went home, a smile still firmly pasted on my face, wondering how Bobby could possibly sustain a relationship with such a twit. Sexy, yes--but he needed far more than that to be happy--I knew him!

I talked all this over with Dr. Erickson, and he suggested that the relationship (at least on Bobby's side) might really be more about getting back at me than about true love.

"Or," he said, "Bobby is still licking his wounds about being betrayed and cuckolded by you" (I shuddered at those awful words) "and what he really needs right now is unconditional devotion and lots of sex, even if the woman providing them is not remotely his equal."

This made sense to me, and helped me keep my hopes up. I had two more dinners with them, once at a nice Greek restaurant and another one at the house (where Laura seemed to be more-or-less living), and I never let my good manners slip.

"They're going to up the ante," Dr. Erickson warned me. "Just wait and see."

Again, he called it exactly right. About three weeks later they invited me over again for a Friday night dinner, and when I arrived precisely at 7:30, a nice bottle of white wine in my hand, the front door was standing wide open.




Ari Ch. 02



I poked my head in tentatively, calling out, "hello? Bobby? Laura?"

"Back here!" came Laura's reply from the back of the house where the bedrooms were. I put the wine on the side table and headed down the hall, with a strong suspicion about what I was about to see.

I was right. The master bedroom door was wide open, and there on the bed were Bobby and Laura, naked. He was on his back and she was energetically riding him cowgirl-style, those huge knockers bouncing around on her chest.

"Sorry," she said breathlessly when she saw me, a big smile on her face, "we knew it was almost time but we, y'know, just got too excited to stop!"

Bobby said nothing as he continued to thrust upwards into Laura. He also had a smile on his face but a rather strange look in his eye. It wasn't pleasure or excitement, more like a kind of curiosity about what I'd do.

Thank God I wasn't caught by surprise! It might have been incredibly painful, coming upon the man I loved fucking someone else. Not that I hadn't done it to him, God knows.... In any event, I'd seen it coming. So I just looked on from the doorway, then after a moment I stepped back into the hall and said, "oops--didn't mean to barge in on you. Maybe I should just go."

"No no," Laura called out gleefully, somewhat out of breath. "Why don't you, uh, have a drink, Ari, we'll be out in, umm, just a few minutes!"

So I retreated to the kitchen, got myself a glass of water, and let them entertain me for another ten minutes. I got to listen to more than just their moans and groans--Laura apparently liked to talk dirty (something Bobby had never particularly enjoyed with me).

"Ohh, baby, oh baby oh baby yes, just like that--oooh!

"Harder, push harder baby, oh yeah, oh yeah, stick your finger up my ass. Yeah, stick that big finger up my tiny butt while your hard cock is reaming my pussy, oh, oh yeah just like that just like that!"

There was quite a bit more in that vein, before I heard the couple finally reaching their orgasms (Laura was apparently a screecher as well as a talker.)

When they emerged a few minutes later, flushed but fully dressed, Laura looked spitefully triumphant but Bobby had a rather sheepish look on his face. He seemed to be a little embarrassed about the childish stunt they'd pulled, and I was delighted to see it.

"So sorry about that, Ari," Laura gloated. "I guess YOU would know how easily Bobby can get me all worked-up, when he wants to!"

Bobby positively winced, and I gracefully murmured that it was nothing, no problem, of course I understood. We went on to have our nice dinner as though nothing had happened, as though they hadn't arranged to have me walk in on them fucking just a half hour earlier.



************************



That stupid stunt gave me hope--though maybe it shouldn't have. I told Jon--by then he wasn't "Dr. Erickson" anymore--that if Bobby really just loved Laura and wanted to be with her, they wouldn't have gone to such lengths to rub it in my face, and he agreed.

So I was feeling more cheerful than ever for about six weeks--my co-workers at my new job even commented on how much I was smiling around the office.

And then the wedding invitation came.

"Robert Norton and Laura Van Geldt request the honour of your presence...." in beautiful engraved lettering. I didn't have the heart to read the rest.

At my next visit to Jon's office I cried and cried. I let go like I hadn't done since the first days after Bobby had found me out.

"It's over," I said. "I can't believe he really wants her, but he does. What the hell am I going to do?"

Jon handed me the tissues, and he gently said, "you're going to go on. You're going to find a way to make a different life for yourself, one without Bobby in it, and you're going to be happy."

He looked at me seriously and said, "you know, you're a remarkable person, Ari. You have courage and determination and a loving heart.

"I still remember my first impression of you--when you told me about the whoring you'd been doing with Charlie and with your customers--and I was almost completely wrong. I judged you too soon, and I apologize."

We talked for another few sessions, with him helping me unburden myself of the grief I was feeling, and then we agreed to stop.

"I'll always be glad to see you if you want to come back, Ari--but I don't think you really need me right now."

We'd discussed the wedding and I concluded I really couldn't bear to go. So I sent them a gorgeous, ridiculously expensive set of crystal wine glasses and a warm note, wishing them a lifetime of happiness together.

And on the night of the wedding, my good friend Felicia from work took me out and let me get drunk, really good and stinking drunk; and she listened to me cry and tell my story, though she'd already heard every word of it, and then she took me home and put me to bed. 



************************



A month later, Felicia and I flew down to Cancun for a ten-day vacation. She'd ended a long relationship only a couple of months before, so she was as much in need of a change as I was. The agenda was sun, lots of drinking, and some no-strings fucking with handsome strangers.

At first it seemed to be just what I needed. We went out dancing the very first night, got picked up by Thad and Walter from Miami, and took them back to our two-bedroom suite. I fucked Walter three times that night and once more in the shower in the morning. It was casual and unemotional and it felt great!

It was also the first time in over a year I'd had sex with anyone besides myself and a vibrator.

On the next two nights I slept with Tim from Iowa (he got a second night because I'd enjoyed the first one so much), and after an evening off where Felicia and I just danced a little and gave ourselves a break, the fifth night I screwed Gary, who'd just finished playing linebacker at USC and was on his way to the NFL.

Gary was years younger than I was. He was also big and strong and he tossed me around like I weighed no more than a pillow. It was the hardest fucking I'd had in a decade or more--nothing subtle or tender, just pound the girl until she's coming and coming. I had to send him away in the morning, though he wanted some more, because I was just too tender between my legs.

The trip turned sour for me (though not for Felicia, who enjoyed every minute of her flirtations and hook-ups) after about a week. I'd fucked a tall slim guy named Marco, one of the tennis pros at the resort, and we'd fallen asleep with him spooned behind me in bed.

I awoke in the morning to the feel of a man's body holding me firmly, gently in his arms, and I felt warm and safe and happy. I love Bobby so much, I thought dreamily, and snuggled back into him a little bit closer.

And then as I came awake I remembered it all. It wasn't Bobby--I'd lost Bobby. It was a perfectly nice, remarkably handsome guy I didn't care about at all, somebody I'd fucked and spent the night with because I was lonely and horny and Bobby was gone forever.

So poor Marco awoke to a sobbing woman in his arms, with absolutely no idea what was bothering her or what he had done. I have to give the guy credit--when I calmed down enough to talk to him, he was incredibly gentle and soothing.

He even said to me in his wonderful lilting accent, "I can't be the man you lost, Ari, but I can still hold you and make you feel warm and safe." And he did, he rocked me like a little girl until all my hysterical crying was over, and stayed with me another hour even though it was clear he wasn't going to get laid again.

When I felt better and I got up to walk him to the door, I gave him a big hug and said, "thank you, Marco--you are the second-nicest man I ever met!" And he grinned and kissed me softly and said, "good luck to you, Ari."

After that, I was done with casual fucking. I read a couple of books, worked on my tan, swam in the pool, and fought the men off when Felicia and I hit the clubs in the evening. She was happy to keep having fun, so I made sure nobody took advantage of her or dragged her off someplace.

And when we got back to town I made a vow that I'd get on with my life. Bobby was gone--I'd lost him, he was remarried, that was that. Time to think about my own life and what I wanted it to be. 



************************



When I checked my answering machine after work one day, I was surprised to hear a message that said, "Hi, it's Jon--Erickson. Hoping you're okay. Give me a call when you have a chance."

Turned out he'd called to ask me out! I never saw that coming. We had lunch together, very casual, and he told me a lot of things I'd never realized.

"I hope you don't mind my saying this, Ari, it may seem a little weird. But I'm very attracted to you--and I hope we could, uh, go out, get to know each other.

"I mean, differently--obviously! I already know you, and....shit. This isn't coming out very well.

"I would never date a patient--period. But that's over now, and--well, you get the picture."

I was taken aback, along with being flattered. "Jon, I think I need to think about this. I mean, you've been such a great help to me, and I really trust you. But I never--I mean I never thought about you that way at all."

In the end I decided, what the hell? I wasn't going to have Bobby, and Jon was attractive and smart. So we dated for a few weeks, until I realized it was never going to go anywhere.

The problem wasn't him, it was me. Jon was a charming, interesting man, and he was as devoted a would-be boyfriend as you could find. But when he wanted to get physical, to go beyond a couple of warm, lingering good-night kisses--I found I just couldn't do it.

"I'm sorry, Jon," I finally told him; and I meant it. "I know that going to bed together is the logical next step for us, but I just can't.

"I don't know whether it's me still holding a torch for Bobby, or... In fact I don't think it's that, actually. Maybe it's just that for me you're still my therapist, my trusted advisor. I can't turn that off and turn on something that means 'boyfriend,' you know?"

He sighed, and kissed my forehead. "I do know, Ari. It's what I was afraid of; but I like you a lot, so I thought it was worth a shot."

We parted as friends, for which I was grateful. I didn't want another important man in my life to end a relationship on bad terms.



************************



When an opening at work came up to move to the San Diego office, I decided to take it. It had been four months since Bobby's wedding and I felt stuck. Time to move my life forward, and I'd probably be better off somewhere else. I'd never lived on the West Coast, and the new job meant some traveling and more responsibility, so...what the hell.

And I enjoyed it there. The weather was great, life was a little more relaxed, and I got to do more interacting with customers, which I was still good at. No more business fucking--I was done with that forever! But I still knew how to negotiate and flatter, and I nailed down more than my share of successful contracts. After two years in San Diego I was making about what I'd been earning with Charlie--and with no sex involved.

As for non-business sex? I dated from time to time, but more because I knew I had to than out of any great interest. A couple of guys were nice but a little dull; and one was really high-energy and fun but dangerously unstable; and there was one who couldn't stop talking about his two ex-wives and how they'd screwed him over (I made it a point never to speak about Bobby, beyond revealing that I was divorced). I even dated a guy who I might possibly have fallen for, until we began having sex and I learned that he had a fetish for wearing diapers and being treated like an infant. Gross!

So I never came close to falling in love, or even sustaining a relationship longer than two or three months. I had sex with the guys I was dating, when I wanted to, but I wasn't anything like promiscuous. And it never meant all that much to me, either, because the men never did.

It was like sex before Bobby, actually--before the time in my life when I learned what sex with love could be. But now, after Bobby, sex just for fun could never be enough. I was sad a lot.

It would be nice to say that I closed the book on Bobby, but that wasn't entirely true. I sent him and Laura a nice Christmas card each year--never getting one in return--and I have to confess I called their house from time to time. Maybe every couple of months.

It was ridiculous, I know. I never called when I thought they might be home. I just wanted to hear his voice on the machine: "hello, you've reached Laura and Bob Norton--please leave a message after the tone." Sometimes I'd call two or three times in a row, and cry at the sound of that familiar voice.

And then I'd say to myself, "Ari, you've got to let go--it's over. Get it together!"And I'd pull myself together and go to the gym or something, and the feelings would subside. A little bit.



************************



I got back from an exhausting trip on a Friday afternoon. Seattle, Portland and Minneapolis in four days, with six meetings and two signed contracts. I took a long, hot bubble bath with some champagne and enjoyed every minute of it.

Look at me, the successful businesswoman! I earned my company a lot of money this week, and quite a chunk for myself. But of course, I could never think that way for too long without realizing how empty my personal life was, and without thinking about Bobby.

Even though it was the evening I decided to call his house to hear his voice--just once, I promised myself. I decided that if he or Laura answered, I'd just hang up.

"Hello, you've reached Bob Norton--please leave a message after the tone. To reach Laura Van Geldt please call 614 961-4202."

What?! I hung up the phone, my heart racing. She'd moved out? They'd broken up? 

I had to know, instantly. I called my old friend Felicia. She was still my closest confidant, though I'd made some nice friends in San Diego, and she still lived back in Columbus.

"Hold on, Ari, slow down! I can hardly understand you!" she said, laughing. "Bobby's what?"

"His machine--his voice--it's just him! It's not him and Laura--I think she's moved out. Maybe their marriage is breaking up!" I couldn't stop babbling, and she continued to laugh at me.

Finally I calmed down a little. Felicia and I talked for nearly an hour about what it meant--a divorce, a separation, or maybe she's just away for a short time and wanted to be reachable. We agreed that I'd be best off hiring a PI for a day or two. Felicia laughed, "I love you like a sister, Ari, but I'm not taking a couple of days off work to stalk your ex-husband."

So on Monday I made a few calls, got a recommendation, and hired a serious-sounding guy named Greg Overbrook; and by Thursday he had called me back with a full report.

"Your Mr. Norton and his wife are definitely headed for a divorce. She has been out of the house for three weeks, and the papers were filed by Mr. Norton ten days ago. The grounds are "Irreconcilable Differences." She's living in a two-bedroom apartment downtown.

"The neighbors didn't know much. For a year or two they saw them both around the neighborhood, but not so much in the past few months. One woman said she'd heard loud arguments a couple of times, some yelling, but the cops were never called or anything."

I thanked him, hung up, and dug in my address book for a number I hadn't needed in a while.

I got his machine. "Jon? It's Ari. I'm going to be in town next week and I'd like to see you--professionally. Will you let me know what times you might be available? Here's my number..."



************************



"Are you comfortable seeing me again, Ari? I mean as a patient?"

"Oh hell yes, Jon!" I replied impatiently. "Yes, of course! I trust you and I value your opinion.

"I'm sure I can--oh, wait a minute." I laughed. "Is that your way of saying you're not comfortable working with me? Since we dated for a while?"

He blushed slightly, but he said, "no, it's fine. I'm glad to see you, and I'd like to help. What's going on?"

"I found out Bobby is getting a divorce. The papers have been filed and his wife has moved out. So maybe I have a chance!" I couldn't keep the excitement out of my voice, and there wasn't much point in trying.



Ari Ch. 03



I knew I had to plan everything carefully. No screw-ups. If I was lucky enough to get any sort of second chance with Bobby I had to do everything right.

After my first appointment with Jon I spent three weeks taking care of some necessary business. I did some high-powered job hunting and lined up a new position in Columbus within six days. I had to take a 10% salary cut, but that didn't bother me a bit--I still had plenty of money.

I found a place to rent, then flew back to San Diego, gave my two weeks notice, packed up my apartment, said goodbye to friends, arranged for movers to come, then hopped in my car and headed back east again.

And there I was--back in town, less than five weeks after hearing about Bobby's impending divorce, and ready to try to get back into his life.

************************

Jon said to me, "you know, Ari, you seem kind of obsessed about this. I wouldn't be much of a therapist if I didn't wonder about why--why you're so fixated on your ex-husband, why after all these years you still can't let him go."

I considered this for a while in silence. Then I said, "I don't think it's obsession, Jon--I actually think it's just love.

"When I was with Bobby, I felt, I don't know--happy, and secure--really loved. I never had that before in my life.

"During the time I was single and working with Charlie, life was fun and full of adventure--but I never realized how empty it was until Bobby and I were together. I liked the excitement, the travel--I liked the sex with Charlie and once in a while with clients. But it was such a hard-nosed, cold way to live.

"And then I had this wonderful man who loved me and romanced me, looked after me, sat with his arms around me in the evenings and told me he'd always take care of me..." I stopped--to my amazement there were tears on my cheeks.

"I guess I can't say that I'd never find that with someone else, Jon. How can I know? I just know that I had it with Bobby, and then I fucked it up. And if there's any chance at all of getting it back, I'm going to take it.

"When he got married again I tried to deal with it, and I did get on with my life. But I never met anyone half as special, and now that he's getting divorced maybe I have a chance again." I shrugged.

Jon smiled. "Okay," he said. "That may be a little obsessive, but it's not crazy." He laughed and said, "a lot of my colleagues think there's a pretty big overlap between love and obsession anyway, so ... not to worry.

"Now," he said, "we've talked about this a lot--what are the two big things to keep in mind as you try to reconnect with Bobby?"

I thought for a moment. "First is fairness and playing by the rules. Bobby believes in that a lot; I need to show him I can do that too, especially since I broke them so badly the last time.

"Second is ... I guess the second thing is that he's going to test me, probably over and over again."

He clapped his hands. "Exactly. Good for you. We can't prepare in advance for every possible situation, but if you keep those in mind you can be ready for anything he throws at you."

We spent the rest of the session talking about when and how I should approach him. Jon asked whether I was going to call and just casually mention I was back in town.

"Absolutely not. One thing I've figured out is, No Secrets. About anything. Every word I say to him is going to be God's honest truth. So I'll tell him I found out he was getting divorced and moved back in the hopes that we could start seeing one another again."

Jon raised his eyebrows. "Aren't you afraid that might scare him off?"

"Yeah, it might. But I just don't think I should conceal ANYTHING at this point. What if I made it sound like a coincidence, and later on he somehow found out that it wasn't? That would be far worse."

************************

When I called and got his machine I decided to leave a message--that would give him a chance to hear my voice and think about it, have time to decide what he wanted to do.

"Hi Bobby, it's Ari. I heard about your ... situation. I'm so sorry that things didn't work out for you and Laura. I hope you're doing all right. I'm back working in Columbus now—do you think we could we get together for lunch sometime, maybe next week? Here's my number.... Take care, bye."

We met the following Thursday at a Greek diner on the edge of downtown, near where he worked. Bobby looked older, a little beaten-down, but still the same man who wooed me and won me ten years earlier. My knees trembled as I walked towards the table. 

I gave him a big smile as he stood and reached out to shake my hand. Ignoring it, I stepped in and gave him a warm hug, letting go far sooner than I wanted to. We sat down and looked at one another.

"Hey," I said, "so great to see you. I am truly sorry about ... things with Laura."

"Yeah, well, that was a bit of a mistake. I guess I--" He stopped and shook his head. "Let's not talk about that, okay? How are you, Ari, what brought you back to Columbus?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm going to be completely honest, okay Bobby? You know that ... well, you certainly used to know that I never got over you, never stopped being sorry for what I did to screw up our marriage.

"And I kept hoping that we could ... that I could somehow make it up to you, prove to you that I'd changed into someone you could love and trust. Anyway, after you married Laura I figured 'that's it, time to accept that it's finally over' and I took that job in San Diego.

"But I have to admit that--" I blushed a little, "that every once in a while I used to call your house, just to hear your voice on the answering machine."

He smiled at that, almost despite himself, and I smiled back.

"Anyway, when I called a few weeks ago and heard that Laura had moved out, I ... looked into it. And when I learned that you were getting divorced--

"I moved back to Columbus and found a new job here. I still love you, Bobby. I would have left you alone forever if you were happily married, but since you're not ... I'm hoping that maybe we could see if ..."

"If I want a second helping of life with a corporate whore?" The words were cruel, but the look on his face was more amused than angry. That gave me a little hope. It HAD been a long time, after all.

Trying to smile I said, "would it be okay if I corrected that to EX-corporate whore?"

He laughed and said, "correction noted."

We ordered some lunch and chatted for awhile, keeping it to safe topics: his work, my work, how I had liked San Diego, did I ever hear from my old boss Charlie? That last one didn't seem so casual, despite how Bobby brought it up. I made clear that Charlie was no longer in my life in any way.

We were having coffee when I said, "not to pry--truly--but how are you, Bobby? Are you okay?" I squeezed his hand.

He sighed. "Yeah, I'm all right. Mostly I'm feeling a little stupid, actually. I could have foreseen this.

"I should never have married Laura. She was just what I needed, for a while. She was sexy and affectionate and crazy about me--and after you and I crashed and burned she made me feel better, like somebody other than a poor dumb cuckold too blind to see what his wife was doing to him."

I grimaced. This isn't going to be easy, I said to myself--and you knew that. Hang in there.

"So she picked me back up off the ground, you know? She cheered me up and bounced on a bed with me whenever I wanted, and told me how terrific I was until I started to feel okay again. And boy did she enjoy rubbing our relationship in your face! Remember the night you came and she was fucking me on the bed?"

I smiled. "It did seem like that was for my benefit--but I remember thinking it wasn't exactly your style."

He blushed. "I felt kind of embarrassed, actually, but Laura convinced me that turnabout was fair play. It really got her off, but for me it was, I don't know, a little bit childish." He shrugged.

"Anyway--Laura's nice, and she loved me, but she's just not that smart or interesting a person. One thing about life with you, Ari, it was never boring. Until the day I--"

He looked right into my eyes. "Until the day I caught you and Charlie I was completely happy. You were bright, beautiful, full of life--just being around you made me feel lucky. I never had much of that with Laura, and once the thrill of a lot of sex wore off, as it inevitably does, there just wasn't anything else there."

We sat some more, and he said, "I guess I was in too much of a hurry--to prove to myself that I was man enough to be happily married and keep a wife. And I picked someone I KNEW wouldn't betray me. I was right about that, at least."

"I guess I'm to blame for your second marriage failing too, Bobby. I am so sorry."

He shook his head and said, "no, I can't pin that one on you too. OUR marriage, hell yes! But with Laura, I should have known better. I should have taken my time. She would have made a perfectly good rebound love-affair, and maybe I'd be happily married to someone else by now."

I said, cautiously, "so it sounds like you're pretty sure this one is over."

"Oh hell yes. I don't hate her, even though she said some pretty nasty stuff to me at the end--yelled it, actually. I feel bad, because I couldn't love her the way she deserves to be loved. She's a nice person, even if she's a bit ...

"Well, to be honest, a bit shallow. But she loved me and gave me her best--I just can't possibly spend my life with her. So we both know we're done. The rest is just paperwork and overpriced lawyers."

He chuckled and said, "I guess I'm about to be a two-time loser."

"The third time's the charm," I said, with a smile. He said, "well, that's what they say, anyway."

We smiled at each other, my heart beating about 200 beats a minute, and he said, "I've gotta get back to work. It was great seeing you, Ari--I had fun."

"Can we have lunch again sometime--is it okay if I call you?"

"Sure," he said. We walked up to the register and paid the check, with a mock-argument about who should pay--we ended up splitting it. And outside the diner he said again, "nice to see you, Ari" and kissed me on the cheek. I watched him walk away, filled with a kind of longing I couldn't possibly put into words. And feeling more hopeful than I had in years.

************************

On purpose I let a couple of weeks go by before I called him again. No need to make him feel I was stalking him, though I obviously was! I got settled into my job, putting in some long days to get on top of things and show my new boss I was competent and organized and trustworthy. I spent a couple of Saturdays getting Felicia to help me shop to decorate my new apartment--it was terrific having my closest friend nearby again. She still thought I was a little nuts to be so hung-up on Bobby, but I think she kind of found it romantic, too.

When I did call him he was happy to make another lunch date, this time at a steak house he really liked, agreeing that we'd split the check again. I told him about my new job, with some amusing stories about eccentric co-workers. He laughed at my favorite one: the guy in the next office who insisted on keeping his coat and his hat and his lunch in his desk drawers, so that all of his important papers were always piled up all over his desk and he could never find anything. Three different times I'd seen him look for something and knock a six-inch pile of documents all over the floor.

Bobby filled me in on his divorce-- he and Laura had agreed on the money issues, all the papers were signed and filed, and he'd be a legally single man again in about four months.

"What about dating? Are you going to dive right back in, or are you thinking you'll wait until it's all legal and official?"

Very seriously he said, "you thinking about us dating again?"

"You know I am, Bobby--I've never pretended anything else. But whether we do, and when, is totally up to you."

He had several bites of his steak, not saying anything, looking thoughtful.

"Well, as to the 'when,' that's easy. My marriage is over, there's no reason to pretend otherwise just because some judge hasn't gotten around to issuing a piece of paper.

"As to the 'you and me,' Ari--that's one hell of a lot harder."

I waited--let him take the lead, I thought to myself. My knees were shaking under the table.

"You have to know I'm still attracted to you, right? You're just as beautiful as ever--maybe more so." He smiled at me. "And you're funny and smart and surprising ... shit, you're all the things you were when I fell in love with you.

"It's just that you blew me up. You set off a big bomb under my life and it nearly fuckin' killed me. Why would I want to step back into the same minefield?"

My throat was so dry it was hard to speak. I said, "because, first--it's not a minefield now. I'm not the same person anymore, Bobby--not the person who could be so blind and selfish and hurt you the way I did. And if you give me a chance I'll prove it to you."

"Yeah?" His voice was challenging but not dismissive. "How the hell are you going to do that?"

"By being honest with you about everything, at every single moment. No secrets, no lies, no subterfuge, no games. Here's what I want: I want you back. Only you, monogamously, faithfully, for the rest of my life.

"And I'll do pretty much whatever you tell me to do, short of ever sleeping with anybody else. Give me a chance, that's all I'm asking."

"Would you quit your job? Would you move to Anchorage with me? Would you stop working and be a housewife, and have six kids with me and raise 'em?"

"Yes, yes, and yes. I'd probably feel a little claustrophobic at home with the children if I never got out into the world again, but I'd find some library volunteer job or something, if you'd let me. Yes, I'd do all that."

He smiled and said, "good thing I don't like the weather in Alaska, then," and we both laughed.

I put my hand on his and I said, "how would it be if we just dated? Went out together a few times, no strings, no pressure?

"I know you don't trust me--why should you? But if we're just dating ..."

We talked about it some more. I could see he was thinking about it, getting more used to the idea. He said, "okay then--but we're taking it slow.

"We'll go out like two single people. Go to the movies, have dinner. Are we exclusive?"

I said, "that's what I want, but it's completely up to you. I'm not going to see anyone else, but if you decide you want to ..."

He said, "I'm going to be straight with you too, Ari. I might want to date other people, but if do I'll tell you I'm doing it."

I was so happy I was afraid I might cry. I smiled at him and said in a serious voice, "but you have to know one thing."

"What's that?"

"I'm going to be very, very easy." I caught him in the middle of drinking his beer and he laughed so hard that some of it dribbled out onto his napkin.

"I didn't mean to make you choke!" I said, laughing along with him. He caught his breath and made a menacing gesture with his fist. "I'll get you for that one!" he said, grinning.

When we'd ordered our dessert I said, "so how is this going to work, exactly? Are you going to ask me out, or should I ask you?"

Very seriously he said, "I'm waiting for you to ask me out--that way you have to pay."

It was my turn to laugh, though fortunately there wasn't anything in my mouth. I said, "deal. Okay--want to go for a walk in the park on Saturday afternoon and feed the ducks? I'll pay for the stale bread."

************************

Felicia said, "wait a minute--he WENT for that? You guys went to the freaking PARK?"

"Yes, and it was fantastic!" I was grinning so hard I thought my face might split. We were having a drink in a little restaurant downtown, having a girl's night out together.

"We actually fed the stupid ducks with some old bread I brought along, and then we just sat and talked for a long time. About everything under the sun, nothing heavy. And it got to be about 6:00 o'clock and he said, 'how about if we get some dinner?'

"And I smiled and said, 'sure, Bobby, I'd love to have you buy me dinner.' And he said, 'uh-uh, no way, you asked me out on this date.' And I said, 'yeah, but you're the one who suggested dinner,' and we had this silly mock-argument while we walked over to find a restaurant."

Felicia laughed and said, "and who ended up paying?"

"I did. I said, 'I'll pay, Bobby, but that means you owe me, so you're going to have to ask me out again.' So he pretended to grumble about it, but we're having dinner at his house on Saturday! He said it was so he didn't have to pay for a fancy restaurant dinner, but I think he wants me to see the house. He bought it before he and Laura got married, but I've never seen the inside since they re-did it."

"Although I bet you've driven by it a few times, you stalker!" Felicia loved teasing me, and since I was so happy I didn't mind it a bit. As we finished our drinks she said, "and what about the rest of the story? The good-night fuck, or wasn't there one?"

I sighed. "No, just some good-night kisses, but they were fantastic. I felt like I was back in 10th grade again, when you know you're not going to have sex but you're so turned-on by a boy you're just going crazy.

"He took me to my apartment and I asked him in, but he said he just wasn't ready for that yet. But when he kissed me goodnight I made sure that the first kiss turned into a few more ...."

"Wipe that dreamy look off your face, girl," Felicia laughed at me. "My friend the 33-year old schoolgirl--what am I going to do with you?"

"If this is a dream, then I hope I never wake up!" I trilled, batting my eyelashes, and we collapsed together, laughing helplessly.

************************

Jon smiled. "So it's going well, then."

"Unbelievable!" I sounded like a little kid but I couldn't help myself. "The first real date was terrific, but Saturday night was more than I could ever have hoped for.

"When he showed me around the house I could tell he really wanted to know what I thought. I asked him if it was weird, or sad, living there without Laura, and he said it didn't bother him much.

"He said, 'I was the one who picked it out, back when I was single, and I made most of the re-decorating decisions--so it feels more like my house than hers and mine. I think I'm going to keep it.'

"So of course I told him how beautiful it was and how much I liked what he'd done with it—it really is a very attractive place. And he made us a very good dinner. He's either become a much better cook or he was trying to impress me, but in either case it was great.

"And the sex ... oh my God it was fabulous." I giggled. 

"Sorry, Jon, but ..."

"But you've been waiting nearly four years to be back in his bed, and it lived up to your hopes."

I grinned. "In almost every way. I kept refilling his wine glass, and about the third time he caught me at it and said, 'you think I'm going to be that easy?"

"And I said, 'I'm the one who's going to be easy, I already told you that--all you have to do is lift a finger.'

"So he just looked at me, across the table, and then he slowly lifted up one finger. And I stood up and grabbed his hand and said, 'I know you gave me the tour, Bobby, but I can't really remember what the bedroom looks like--I need to see it again.'

"I've had a lot of sex in my life, fucked a lot of guys. But making love with Bobby, after so long--after thinking I'd never get the chance again--

"All I can say is, it was incredible. And I cried afterwards and he was really nice about it. Didn't freak out, just held me and kissed my hair and told me it was all right.

"The second time was even better. The only thing wrong with the night was how it ended. He said he just wasn't ready for us to spend the night together. I was lying in his arms, sleepy and SO happy, maybe about 1 am, and he said he was going to take me home.




Ari Ch. 03



"So of course I was disappointed, but I tried hard not to pout or complain. I got up and put my clothes on; and when we were driving home he said, 'it's still hard for me, Ari.

" 'It was a long time ago, what you did to me, and I'm not filled with rage anymore, but ... but it's still there. I don't know, like a bullet still lodged inside my body somewhere, I don't know if that sounds ridiculous. It just gutted me, finding out what you were doing with Charlie and all those guys.

" 'And now it's a long time later, and I've slept with some other women, and been married to Laura, and I'm back on my feet again. At least I know it wasn't about me. And when I'm with you and we're being light, just having fun, it feels great. You're about my favorite person.

" 'But every time it starts to get serious, my chest tightens up. The old anger is there--and the fear. That it might happen again, that I could have my balls cut off a second time.'

"He said, 'I don't know if I want to risk it.' "

I must have looked really sad, and Jon said, "I'm sorry--it had to be hard, listening to that. What did you say?"

"Oh, just that I was so sorry, that I knew how horribly I had hurt him, and that I hoped he would hang in there, give me a chance to show him I was a different person now. He nodded, and I know he was listening, but he didn't say anything else--just dropped me off, squeezed my hand, and kissed me goodnight."

I started to cry. "Dammit, Jon, this is just so HARD."

He said, "now hang on, Ari. Think of where you were when we first began working together. I would have bet every penny I had that you'd never get anywhere near Bobby again. And you've just finished telling me about a great evening with him where the two of you made love! When you came into the office today the smile on your face was a mile wide.

"Try to have a little perspective. Yes, it's hard, and it's going to go on being hard--but you're at least three-quarters of the way to where you want to be.

"And one more thing: as hard as it is for you, it's a lot harder for Bobby. At least you have this coming, while he did absolutely nothing to deserve the pain you put him through. There may be a day when you don't owe him anything anymore, but that day is still a long way away."

I sat, absorbing his words. "Yes. You're right, of course." I managed a smile, and said, "I've always been a tough broad, I can handle this."

He smiled back. "There's going to be more trouble ahead. He's going to step back from you, or disappear, or get moody, or test you. Maybe all of those things. This reconciliation, if there is one, is not going to go smoothly. Are you ready for that?" 

"Yeah, I am. Bring it on, Bobby!" I shouted, and Jon and I both laughed.

************************

Jon was right, of course. After our great night together Bobby got spooked. Over the next six weeks I called him four times to see when we could get together, and each time he made an excuse, sometimes a very flimsy one.

So I sighed to myself and tried to be patient. I considered stalking his office and "running into him" when he came out on his way to lunch, but decided not to--that didn't seem like open and honest behavior.

The fifth time he tried to beg off, I pushed a little. "Bobby, listen--the last time we were together we had a great time, right? And nothing bad happened. How about we just go to the movies? A nice public place, lots of people around, you can call for help if you need to ..."

He laughed, thank God, and said okay. We agreed on some action flick he was interested in--I would have been willing to sit and watch four hours of a guy reading the Yellow pages. 

And I was a very good girl at the movies, very well-behaved. I held his hand, and squeezed it at the scary parts, but I didn't get all forward and blow into his ear or run my fingers up his thighs or anything like that.

When it was over I invited him for coffee back to my apartment, reminding him that he'd never seen it; and I decided to stop being such a good girl. After I gave him the quick tour and we'd had our coffee, sitting together on the couch and chatting about the movie, I put down my cup and gave him a look.

Then I slid to the floor, crawled over between his legs, pushed them apart, and began pulling down his zipper, watching his face the entire time. I caught him by surprise but he didn't try to stop me. 

I got his pants and boxers pulled down his legs and then I gave him the mother of all blowjobs--slow, very sensual, very submissive. I looked into his eyes the entire time, as I licked up and down his cock, then stroked it while I licked and sucked his balls, taking them into my mouth one at a time, then going back to his cock again.

Bobby had always liked it when I blew him--to be fair, I'd never met a man who didn't! And I made this one as sexy as I knew how. I built him up slowly, took him deep down my throat and backed off, over and over, until he was grunting and pulling at my head with his hands; and finally I slurped up and down on him energetically until he cried out and filled my mouth with his come.

Even then I stayed down on him, watching his face, as I swallowed every drop and kept him in my mouth as he softened, licking him clean. When I finally sat back I smiled at him, still feeling submissive. What I hoped to convey was, "I'm yours, Bobby--all I want is to please you."

He looked drained--I knew he'd loved it. In a tired voice he said, "that was amazing, Ari--unbelievable."

And then without warning his face tightened and in this really hard voice he said, "I guess I can understand why you were such a successful whore."

I was shocked. I said, "no, Bobby, I--"

"With the years of experience you had slurping on Charlie's dick, and all those other corporate clients' cocks, it's no wonder you're brilliant at it! I guess I should feel grateful, getting the benefit of all that expertise, right?"

"Wait, Bobby, no, I did that for--"

He had his pants back up and was halfway to the door. "Thanks for the blowjob, Ari--I guess I got it pretty cheaply, too, didn't I? For the cost of one movie ticket and some popcorn!"

He left, yanking the door shut behind him. And I sat there, still on my knees, and cried.

************************

"Did I break a rule--one of his rules? Did I do something wrong?" I was calmer, but still upset.

Jon said, "I'm not sure, Ari. I don't think so. But it seems as though your inspired, uh, blowjob, brought back all the unhappy memories of what you were doing during your marriage.

"This is going to be an ongoing issue--sex was the way you betrayed him, he understands it wasn't any sort of emotional betrayal, no love affair or anything. Judging from the past few months, Bobby is doing quite well at just being with you--hanging out together, having fun as friends or on casual 'dates.'

"But the irony is that, as you gave him an extra-special sex act, trying to be loving, it brought up for him your 'professional' past. That's not going to be an easy one to solve."

"I sent him a card," I said. "I wrote something like, 'I was trying to do something special, give you something nice that would feel good, to let you know how I feel about you--I'm so sorry that it brought up unhappy feelings.' "

Jon nodded. "Good. It can't hurt, and it might even make him feel a tiny bit guilty."

************************

Maybe the card did have an effect, because Bobby emailed me about ten days later. No apology, just "I've got tickets for the Iron Painters concert a week from Saturday--want to go with me?"

The Iron Painters had been one of the bands we both were crazy about, back when we were dating. I was absolutely thrilled, and wrote back right away to say I'd love to.

The concert was loud and crazy, everybody was dancing in the aisles and singing along, including us. We didn't even try to have a conversation, just grinned at each other and danced and shouted. By the end we were tired and sweaty and happy.

As we walked back to his car Bobby said, "how about a beer or two? I could really use something to replace all those fluids." I said, "nothing better for fluid-replacement than beer. How about my apartment, we're only a couple of miles from there?"

But he looked wary and said, "Ari, I, uh, think I'd rather just go to a bar." So we did that, found one of the nice ones downtown that wasn't too loud and sat in a booth together. The first pair of beers went down in about 90 seconds, as did much of the second, before we began talking.

"I'm so sorry about what happened at my place the last time," I said. I wasn't sorry--at least not sorry for what I'd done--but I was very sorry for Bobby's reaction, and I figured an apology from me couldn't hurt.

"I was pretty rough on you," he said, looking thoughtful. "I didn't plan it, the blowjob was incredible. It just--well, it made me think of all the guys you'd done that for, during the years when I was a happy cuckolded fool."

"If it helps at all, I never gave anyone else a blowjob like that. That was supposed to be a 'this is how much I love you and you alone' blowjob."

"I even sort of realized that," he said. "But ...

"But the fact is, what you did to me still hurts, Ari. And I guess anything that brings it back into my mind still pisses me off."

I said, "are you sorry we went out tonight?"

He shook his head. "Not a bit. I had a great time—and to be honest I can't imagine anyone else I would have had this much fun with."

I beamed at him.

"So us being friends, that's no problem," he continued. "But it's a big jump from there to being a couple again, a BIG jump. I'm just not sure I trust you enough to stop looking, Ari—not sure at all that you're the person I should really end up with."

"We can still see each other, I hope." I was terrified but tried not to let it show.

"Sure, if you want. We can date, and hang out. But you don't get any promises from me, at least not now. And probably not for a long long time, if ever."

I said, "that's fair, Bobby. I can—" I stopped suddenly. I had been thinking that Jon was so right about Bobby, his sense of fairness; and then a chill grabbed my heart as I realized that I had never told Bobby about my therapy—which was really all about him.

"Ari, what's wrong? You look like you just heard that World War III started."

"Bobby, I—give me a minute, okay? I'm going to go wash my face."

I thought frantically as I took refuge in the Ladies' Room. I HAD to tell Bobby about Jon—I was firmly committed to total disclosure--but it scared me.

Coming back to the booth I said, "I need to talk to you about something, okay? Nothing bad at all, but it may sound kind of weird to you. But I swore to you I wouldn't keep any secrets, about anything, so ... can I go ahead?"

He looked mystified and said, "sure, Ari—you haven't killed anyone, have you?"

I was too nervous to give him more than a perfunctory smile. "After you caught me with Charlie, when it all went to hell—I started seeing a therapist, a guy named Jon Erickson."

I saw his face relax. "Is that all? That certainly doesn't—"

"No wait, let me finish. You might think that I went into therapy to talk about myself, to figure out how I could have done such a horrible thing, but I didn't. Bobby, I went to Dr. Erickson to talk about you."

"What?"

"I knew that I wanted you back. As badly, as totally as I had hurt you and killed our marriage, I wanted to find some way to put it all back together again. So I spent months with Dr. Erickson talking all about you: your background, your family, your career, and everything about our relationship. I wanted him to understand you as well as he possibly could, so that he could advise me on what to do to get you back."

His face tightening, he said, "so, you—you told this doctor all about me, every aspect of my life, past and present—all my private stories, my fears ... all so you could manipulate me into getting back with you after you had totally cut my balls off?"

His voice rising, he continued, "is that about right, Ari, or am I missing something?"

Desperately I said, "not manipulate, no. Not at all. I wanted to understand you better, so that there might be some way I could reach you—apologize for the horrible thing I had done, and communicate to you how much I still cared for you."

He looked calmer—a little. He thought for a bit, then said, "did it not occur to you that maybe YOU were the person who needed therapy?"

Despite my tension I laughed out loud. "I'd have to say that Dr. Erickson pointed that out more than once. In fact, after he'd heard what I did he said, 'and you want me to help you get him back? I should probably call him and offer my services in helping him get over you!' "

Bobby laughed, then said, "well I wouldn't have taken him up on it, but ...."

I took his hand. "Bobby, I was lost, desperate. My wonderful marriage—which on my side was built on a hideous lie, I admit that—had just fallen apart, and I was beside myself. I knew that I loved you, and that despite everything I could make you happy. You know me—practical, problem-solving Ari! So I figured that if I understood you better I'd know what to do."

We sat a while longer. He sipped his beer, turning it over in his mind. I just watched him, nervously twisting my hands together in my lap.

"I have to say, Ari, it does sound just like you. There's a problem—to say the least!—between you and your husband, so instead of looking in the mirror and considering what YOU'VE done, you set out to analyze ME."

I hung my head. "Guilty as charged. But of course, after awhile my work with Jon was much more about me. We talked about what I did, believe me—and how I could have possibly done it, and why it was so horrible, and whether it made any sense for me to even think about getting you back after what I did."

"Jon?" he asked, watching me carefully. I took a deep breath.

"It was 'Dr. Erickson' for awhile—but I saw him five days a week for months, and it started to be silly not to use first names.

"In fact, after you married Laura and I had to stop hoping I could get back together with you, he asked me out and we went out on a few dates."

Seeing his face I hurried on. "It never went anywhere, not beyond a couple of kisses goodnight. He was my therapist, and I could never think of him as anything else. And since I've been back in Columbus I've been seeing him again, as a therapist."

"So you and this guy still get together regularly to scheme about me?" Thank God Bobby now seemed more amused than furious.

"Something like that—but mostly I get his help in not fucking things up worse," I said.

"Bobby, it's no surprise that I want you back. You've heard me say it a dozen times. Jon is my 'Bobby coach'—I guess that sounds crazy and stalkerish, but it's the truth. And I promised you weeks ago that the complete truth is what you would get from me from now on—no exceptions."

I pretty much held my breath for the rest of the evening, waiting for an explosion, but it didn't come. After awhile we found ourselves talking about the concert again—and though Bobby wouldn't come inside when he reached my apartment, he did share a few really hot kisses with me. God, being in his arms did it for me!

So I felt okay. If things hadn't improved that evening, at least they didn't get dramatically worse, which is what I had been afraid of.

************************

Time went on. Bobby and "dated." We saw a lot of each other, in fact--getting together at least once a week and sometimes more, for lunch, or dinner and a movie, a picnic on a nice day. We went to a couple more concerts, and to a show once.

And except for being seriously horny, I was pretty happy. I had Jon to keep telling me "be patient--you've gotten much closer to him than I ever thought was possible, to tell you the truth." And our time together was very sweet, because we were far more than just friends. We were friends with a long history and a lot of mutual understanding.

But he wouldn't screw me! And he wouldn't eat me and he wouldn't let me blow him. About all I could get from Bobby was some really great necking, at the end of an evening together. And then he'd go home and I'd get out the vibrator. I figured his hand must be getting quite a workout, though we never talked about it.

Whenever I did bring up the subject--"hey Bobby, haven't you ever heard about 'friends with benefits'? When am I going to get some of those 'benefits'?" He would smile and say, "sorry, babe, just not ready for that yet.

"We tried that, remember? And it led to a pretty nasty fight. You're very sexy, Ari, and it's not like I don't remember how good we were together--in bed I mean. But I'm still being careful, thinking of my own mental well-being. Because frankly, I don't trust you to do it."

That was it; and he wouldn't budge, even when we were making out and I slid my hand under his shirt, or down his pants. He'd shake his head, smile, and stop me--though not before I got a good feel of that big hard cock I really was hoping to spend a little more time with.

One Sunday afternoon we were sitting on his back deck, having just polished off an omelette he made us for brunch, and I said, "Bobby--aren't you incredibly horny? I mean, going months without sex--that's not like you."

Coolly he said, "what makes you think I'm going without sex?"

I froze. There was a silence, and I swear I heard thunder off in the distance, though it was a beautiful cloudless day.

Very slowly I said, "well, back when we talked about dating you said that you might want to go out with other people--but if you did, you would tell me about it."

"Oh yeah, that." He laughed. "I guess I lied. I've been banging a woman named Rachel, she works in the office two flights up in our building, for Crosby & Fisher. It's pretty casual, but the sex is great. I wouldn't say she's as good as you, Ari, but she's close enough so I don't really notice the difference. And there's no hassle, you know? No heavy emotions, no pressure, certainly no trust issues."

He stopped talking but kept watching me--carefully, but coldly too. My stomach was pretty knotted-up; I idly wondered whether the omelette was going to stay where it belonged.

"So, I--" I stopped and shook my head for a minute. "I'm curious, Bobby. Since you told me up front you might date other women, what made you keep her a secret?"

He leaned forward and looked right into my eyes. "You're the one who's always telling me about how I believe in fairness, right?

"Well, you cheated on me for 3 years, 8 months, and 11 days before I found out. All that time I thought we were a happy married couple. Now of course, we're not married so it's not the same, and I've only been with Rachel for a couple of months, but at least in a small way here's a little 'fairness' back at ya."

He watched me while I thought about it. I was stunned and hurt, but not as devastated as I might have been. Casual sex was not as big a deal to me as to many people--as my own past indicated--and it actually didn't bother me all that much that Bobby was getting his rocks off, if it really was as casual as he said.

What mattered much more to me was his attitude. Was he trying to hurt me, or just make a point? Should I burst into tears so that he could feel vindicated? No--I wasn't going to do that. I was committed to being truthful, and I didn't feel like crying. Or at least not much.

I said, "wow. I didn't see that coming. For a minute there I was afraid that nice omelette was going to make another appearance.

"I guess I'm--I guess it's sort of a good thing. I mean, at least one of us is getting laid, it seemed a shame to think that we were both doing without.

"Why'd you tell me, though? I mean, if doing it behind my back and getting even with me was the point, what made you tell me today?"




Ari Ch. 03



He shrugged. "We were talking about sex. I don't know, really, it just seemed silly all of a sudden to keep it a secret."

I said, "the point had been made, I guess?" He nodded.

I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen now. I grabbed the coffee cups and went inside to get us each a refill, giving me a chance to think, take a couple of deep breaths. When I returned he was staring across the back yard looking at nothing. I wondered what was in his mind. On the spur of the moment I decided to change the subject and see what happened.

"So, we had talked about a bike ride. Want to head over to the reservoir?"

His head swung back towards me, a surprised look on his face. "Are we done with this conversation?"

"I don't know--I guess it's up to you. You and I are seeing each other but not fucking. You and Rachel are seeing each other and fucking. It was a secret from me but now it's not.

"You're still calling the shots, Bobby. If what you want is to fuck her and not me, or both of us, or neither of us, it's up to you."

I smiled. "Now if you're asking MY preference, you already know it: stop fucking her and start fucking me. About five minutes from now would be good."

He laughed out loud. "Not today, Ari. But a bike ride would be kind of fun."

And that's how our day together ended--no more heavy talk, no more confessions, just a nice long bike ride together in the sunshine. I went home confused and uncertain, but still hopeful.

************************

"Jon, are you always right or are you just a lucky guesser?"

He smiled. "I assume this means he's testing you, right? In some of the ways we discussed?"

I said, "that's an understatement. So you remember two weeks ago, he told me he was fucking this woman in his building, and he'd been doing it behind my back for a couple of months?

"So here's the latest. We were hanging out at his house on Sunday and he made sure I saw the computer. Rachel had sent him some naked pictures they'd taken together.

"More than naked, actually. Some of her naked on a bed, and some of them fucking. I guess they must have used a timer. She's actually quite hot--doesn't look a day over 22, and she's got really big tits."

"Let me guess," Jon said. "While he was showing you the pictures Bobby watched you carefully to see if you got upset."

"Right again. And I sort of have a dilemma. It's crystal clear that he's rubbing my nose in it, like he and Laura did to me years ago, and he must want me to fall apart. But I'm just not that bothered by it, and I don't want to pretend to be, just to give him what he wants. I'm determined to be honest with him, always."

He thought about it. "There's another angle, Ari. I agree that he's trying to get to you. But I think he's probably also trying to reassure himself. If he sees you shattered by his fucking around with Rachel, that will make it easier for him to believe you wouldn't fuck around on him any more, if you got back together.

"But if it seems like no big deal to you...."

I nodded, thinking hard. "I get it. And, actually, I think I know how to handle it. Thanks Jon, that's really helpful."

************************

"Hey, it's me. Got time for a quick lunch today?"

He said, "hi, Ari. Yeah, give me about 45 minutes to get this proposal in the mail. Want to meet at that Panera across from the park?"

We had a quick hug, ordered our lunch, and sat down together. For most of the meal we chatted about work, and then at the end I said, "is it all right if I talk to you about something else?"

He smiled and said, "sure--I figured there was something on your mind."

"I've been thinking about you and Rachel," I said, "and what's going on there. It's pretty obvious that part of it is you testing me: giving me a dose of my own medicine by fucking someone else behind my back, even though as we agreed it's not the same, because we're not married any more."

He nodded, watching me.

"Bobby, I'm guessing that at least part of you was hoping I'd go crazy, crying and weeping and acting destroyed. I figure that's what the naked pictures were about too, am I right?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He looked a little sheepish now.

"Here's what worries me: you might think that, because I didn't get all upset, that I still think casual sex is no big deal--meaning that I might go out and do it again behind YOUR back, either now or if we got together again in the future."

I took his hand for a minute. "So here's what I want to say, okay? First, I guess I do think that casual sex is no big deal, AS LONG AS no one is getting betrayed or hurt. What I did to you was a huge deal, it was despicable. Not because the sex was emotionally important to me, but because you believed in my fidelity and I was lying to you the whole time.

"What you're doing with Rachel is different. Yeah, you did it behind my back because you wanted to teach me a lesson--but you'd already told me you might date other women. Right now the only commitment between us is mine: I told you I wouldn't have sex with anyone else. And I won't--until you get married again, or tell me to fuck off and get out of your life for good.

"I will NEVER cheat on you or betray you ever again. I did that, in spades, and I know first-hand how deeply I hurt you and destroyed my own happy life. Just because I'm not tearing my hair out about you and Rachel doesn't mean I think cheating is no big deal.

"Of course I want you to stop seeing her --I want you to be with me. But you don't owe me anything, Bobby--you can do what you want, and right now what you seem to want is fucking Rachel. I get that, which is why I'm not making a big scene out of it."

He shook his head. "Is it just me or is the water getting kind of deep in here?" 

We both laughed, and he said, "you're probably right, Ari, at least about some of it. I was determined to give you a taste of your own medicine, and I probably hoped I'd see you break down in tears in front of me. 

"But the main thing is ..." He stopped, and shook his head. "The main thing is that I'm still being careful. I want you, and I-- I just have to be careful, to protect myself."

"I get that," I said. "Believe me, Bobby, I do--and I thank you for even being willing to talk with me about it. It's more than I deserve." And now I was CRYING, tears running down my face, as I tried to smile, and he smiled at me and held my hand as I just sat there blubbering, happy and hopeful and scared all at the same time.

************************

Felicia said, "so of course I told to him to take a hike, I wasn't going to be treated like that by anybody, and he said ..."

I zoned out for a minute, although that wasn't quite fair to my best friend. She had been so patient with me over the years, listening to my endless stories about the latest in my relationship with Bobby--she certainly deserved my attention while she complained about Kirk. I tried to focus.

"... and I said No, Goddammit, it's too late, we're over! So then he started to cry--"

"Really, Leesh? Wow, I wouldn't have seen that coming." I was back paying attention again. This was the on-again, off-again boyfriend whom Felicia really loved, but the guy was an overgrown adolescent when it came to commitment.

She grinned. "Yeah, he started to cry! And he took my hands and said he was sorry, he knew he'd been an asshole but he really loved me and didn't want to lose me. And so on Saturday we're going to start looking for an apartment together!"

"Wow! Oh Leesh, that's fantastic!" I had my private doubts about whether she and Kirk would make it, but I kept them to myself.

On the other hand, I thought, what would be less likely than me and Bobby back together? Yet it looked as though it might actually happen.

Only two weeks after our lunch at Panera, he invited me for a weekend up at a lake resort in Michigan. Did I say yes? What do you think?

I had no idea what to expect, though I was hoping for romance and sex. A lot of both, actually. We had a quiet dinner in the beautiful main lodge, and then we walked hand-in-hand around the lake as the sun set, not talking about anything much. I was totally in heaven.

And then Bobby led me back to our cabin, right into the bedroom, and started to undress me. I began to speak and he said, "shh," smiling, and put a finger over my lips. And he kissed me and stroked me and took all my clothes off, and lay me down on the bed; and then stood right in front of me and took his own clothes off and lay down with me.

I was already wet and my nipples were hard as rocks. Without a word he started kissing me, hard; and then he sucked on my tits while I moaned and held his head; and then he slid down and ate my pussy until I had to pull a pillow over my head so no one would hear me screaming. 

I came three times, and then I lay there like I'd just run a marathon. Bobby rolled me over face down with a couple of pillows under me, slid my thighs apart and jammed his cock into my soaking cunt. And he fucked the living hell out of me.

I swear it was like the man hadn't had pussy in a year. He was a machine. Sometimes he held my hips and pulled me back to him, sometimes he leaned forward and rubbed his chest on my back while he thrust into me, sometimes he cupped my breasts and twisted my nipples. It was all magical, all really intense. He fucked me and fucked me and then he came like crazy, groaning and thrusting wildly, and he collapsed on top of me.

I was so exhausted I don't remember his kissing me good night, or even rolling off of me. But when I heard the birds twittering as the sun rose the next morning, I was lying under the covers on my side and my man was spooned up behind me, his arm around me and lying across my stomach, breathing quietly as he slept.

And I prayed, if you can believe it. Silently I said, "Thank you, God--this is all that I have ever wanted, and if I can keep on having this I will thank you every day of my life."

A couple of hours later we had a quick shower together, smiling a lot, still not saying anything--I was following Bobby's lead--and we went and had a big breakfast, and 40 minutes after that we were back in bed. This time I went after him, got him down on his back and massaged him, his chest and arms and then his legs, and then I sucked his dick until he nearly blew the top of my head off. I made sure to go fast and intense, not like the slow, extra-loving one that had pissed him off once before--and he seemed to like it!

For the rest of the weekend we acted like newlyweds. We took a lazy canoe ride, we sat up in bed with a bag of potato chips and watched a lame chick flick, we napped, and we had sex. God did we have sex! Bobby fucked me sideways on the bed, he did me up against the wall, dropping me down over and over again on his dick, we did it once over the kitchen table (my idea: I leaned over it wearing only my short nightie and wiggled my ass at him) ... you get the idea.

By Sunday night we were both exhausted, and I was pretty sore, but boy was I happy! On the drive back to Columbus I dozed a little, but we also talked. He told me he'd stopped seeing Rachel.

"After that time I ... I showed you the pictures, I realized how silly it was--empty really. You were right, Ari--much more of it was about rubbing your face in it than actually enjoying being with Rachel.

"You know," he said with a kind of thoughtful look, "when you're not getting laid you think about it a lot, you want it and need it, it seems very important to you. At least for a man, anyway.

"And when I first hooked up with Rachel it felt great. Really hot sex--you saw her body, she's very attractive. But also the feeling of 'I've still got it, I'm a success as a man, just look at who I'm banging!'

"But then that starts to wear off, or get much less important, if there isn't anything else with it. And with Rachel and me, there just wasn't."

I listened and nodded and told him I understood. Which I did, pretty much. The blow I delivered to Bobby's ego was about the most devastating thing any man could face--it didn't surprise me a bit that he kept making choices to prove to himself that he was attractive. Whether it was marrying Laura or taking up with Rachel, or any of the other women he'd screwed since our marriage broke up.

I was desperate to ask, "so where are we now, exactly?" but I didn't. We got back home and he dropped me off, carrying my bag to my door and kissing me tenderly and saying, "I'll call you," and that was more than enough for me.

************************

"And since then?" Jon asked.

"So far so good. In fact better than that. We're seeing each other 2-3 times a week, sleeping together at his house or mine--and we're making love. And it's great, Jon, loving and exciting and ..."

"Okay," he said. "But something's troubling you, Ari, what is it? Seems like everything is absolutely terrific."

I nodded. "You're right--and it's work this time. Ralph promised there'd be no travel when he hired me, but since the reorganization they want me to take over some of Adam's responsibilities; he's the guy that got canned, he was pretty much of a fuck-up.

"So what it would mean is overnight trips, usually just one or two nights but as many as 15-20 times a year. And I'm afraid Bobby will go crazy--because it was when I was on my trips for business with Charlie that I was fucking other guys."

Jon said, "so--what are you thinking of doing about this?"

"I only see two choices--talk to Bobby about it or quit my job. And I like the job, but needless to say it doesn't come ahead of him."

We discussed it for a while, and then Jon made the excellent point that I could begin by talking to Bobby. If my traveling was a problem, I could always quit then. And, lucky me, I still had most of my nest egg from my days with Charlie, so I could take my time finding another job.

************************

Bobby said, "so go--why should it be a problem?"

I looked hard at him. We were in my kitchen; he was sitting at the table with a beer while I finished making a salad.

"Because, baby, you know and I know that when I traveled for Charlie I was sometimes being a whore for the company. I don't want to do anything--ANYTHING--that would endanger how well we're getting along these days."

With a crooked smile he said, "now Ari--surely you don't think that I don't trust you?"

I threw a dish towel at him, and stuck out my tongue. "Of course you don't trust me--I just don't want to do anything to make it worse."

More seriously I said, "I figure all I can do is show you, every minute and every day and every month, that you CAN trust me again. And maybe after a while you'll start to believe it.

"But in the meantime--how do you feel about these overnight trips? I don't have to take them. I don't even have to stay in this job, you know that."

"Ari--when we were married weren't you fucking Charlie even when you were in town? Even when you'd woken up in our bed that very morning, and were going to be back in it the same evening?"

"Yes, baby. I'm ashamed of it, and sorry--but yes."

"Then what the hell's the difference? Here in Columbus or off in Chicago or St. Louis overnight--if you want to fuck someone else you're gonna do it. I either have to believe you're NOT going to do it, or stop seeing you."

Very carefully I said, "and which one of those is it going to be?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" And he came over and hugged me from behind, gently, cupping my breasts in his hands. In less than a minute we were kissing and rubbing against each other, and two minutes later we were in my bedroom, and two minutes after that I was on my back with my legs up in the air and his cock was plunging in and out of me and I was moaning, saying, "yes, yes Bobby, oh God yes, oh do that Bobby ..."

************************

So over the next several months we entered the next phase in our long and winding road. Slowly it seemed as though we were moving towards living together. We slept together at Bobby's house most nights, with an occasional night at my apartment if it was more convenient. He still wanted a night or two every week to himself, but what I was getting was so wonderful I didn't complain.

And we were acting like a couple--eating together, going out from time to time, seeing friends like Felicia and Kirk (who seemed to have gotten his act together a little bit), planning the occasional vacation or weekend getaway. I had about 90% of what I'd dreamed of, and I was REALLY happy.

And I started traveling--sometimes once a month, sometimes a little more. Always one- or two-night trips, and I always told Bobby everything: where I was going, the name of the hotel, how long I'd be gone, when my outgoing and returning flights were. I called him from each hotel with my room number, and I made damn sure to be IN my room as soon as whatever business dinner I had to go to was over.

In fact, a couple of times we had some pretty hot phone sex between Columbus and Detroit, or Columbus and Milwaukee!

Men came onto me while I traveled alone, but that was nothing new. I'd been handling passes from guys since I was 16, and in the business world since I was 22 or so, and fending them off was a routine business. Even back when I'd worked for Charlie and fucked the occasional important client, there were ten guys I had to fight off for every one I hopped into bed with.

In St. Louis, on my fourth or fifth trip, I encountered a guy named Mark, who was unusual only for his persistence. Well, that and the fact that he was one of the most handsome men I'd ever seen in my life.

I was having dinner in the hotel restaurant and planning a quiet night in my room prepping for the following day's meetings. Mark came in to eat alone, like me. They showed him to a table across the room where he sat, ordered a drink and then his dinner. Then he looked around the dining room, and once he spotted me he spent a lot of time enjoying the view. Nothing subtle about it, either.

After about five minutes he got up and came right over to my table with a nice smile on his face. As I said, a really really good-looking man.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but eating alone is one of my least-favorite things in the world. Would you do me the great honor of letting me join you?"

I looked at him, impressed not only by his looks but by his approach. He wasn't even pretending not to be chatting me up. I held up my left hand, on which I was wearing the gold band I always wore on business trips. "No thanks," I said.

"Hey now, I'm hurt!" he said with a big smile, not looking hurt at all. "My intentions are honorable, I assure you! I'm just hoping for some conversation, something to brighten a dull meal."

Smiling back I said, "if I'm not mistaken, there are several other people in this dining room eating alone--I'm sure you'll find a new friend."

"Yes, but most of them are men, and none of the women is even one-tenth as attractive as you are."

"I won't argue with you there," I smiled, "but I'm not having dinner with you, so please leave me alone, Mr. ..."

"Mark," he said, putting out his hand for me to shake, "Mark Pierson."

"Okay, Mark Pierson--thanks for the invitation. Now go away." I said it nicely, but firmly, and he sighed theatrically. "You've broken my heart, Miss ..." obviously fishing for my name in return, but I didn't give it.

I figured that would be the end of it--but Mark turned up in the coffee shop the next morning at 7:45 while I was reading the newspaper and eating my bran muffin. I had to give the guy credit for persistence--and, truly, he was one of the most gorgeous men I had ever laid eyes on, he could have been a model--but I was no more interested at breakfast than I had been at dinner. I chased him away again, but I will admit that I had a fantasy or two about him later that afternoon on the plane back to Columbus.




Ari Ch. 03



Three trips later, there was another extra-attractive and extra-persistent man in the Hyatt in Charlotte, where I spent two nights. At the time I didn't think much about it--because as I've said, guys hit on me a lot. But it was the third out-of-the-ordinary guy that finally opened my eyes.

It was my second evening of a two-night stay in Chicago, and I was out celebrating a signed contract with Brad and Debra, my counterparts at a company we did a lot of business with. They'd taken me to a really good steakhouse, and afterwards we went back to the lounge in my hotel for a drink, just to enjoy a little more time together. I'd worked with both of them before, and we always had a good time together.

We were laughing about something or other when Debra suddenly looked up and said, "ohmyGod, Ken! What on earth are you doing here?" She jumped up and hugged this guy who'd just come into the bar--another tall, athletic-looking, really good-looking guy.

"Brad and Ari, this is Ken--we were neighbors and best friends in Flint, Michigan, a million years ago. Ken, Brad works with me at Albertson's, and Ari's from a company in Columbus we do a lot of business with."

Naturally we invited Ken to join us, and the four of us sat for another hour or so laughing and talking. I allowed myself a second vodka martini since I didn't have to go anywhere except upstairs to bed. It was quickly obvious that I was getting quite a lot of Ken's attention--but since there were four of us together it seemed harmless, and I allowed myself to enjoy his flirting jokes and the occasional touch on my arm.

At about 10:00 or so Brad said, "well gang, don't let me break up the party but I've really got to get home." Debra needed to leave too, and Ken offered to keep me company "while we finish our drinks." All of a sudden I was alone with this handsome guy who was flirting with me, and I'd had a couple of martinis and was feeling quite relaxed. Still, we were in a public lounge with lots of people around, so I wasn't concerned.

But Ken's flirting started to get more serious, and the touches more frequent. After about ten minutes of this I said, "Ken, it was nice getting to know you but it's time for me to head upstairs to call my husband." Just the usual lie that always did the trick.

When I stood up I felt wobbly and vague--way too wobbly and vague for just two drinks. I swayed a little and Ken grabbed me around the waist. "Whoa, hold on there, Ari, let's keep you vertical."

Before I knew it he was guiding me towards the elevator, saying, "let me make sure you get to your room okay--what's the number?"

Something was definitely wrong here. I wasn't sure what it was, only that I was feeling way too foggy. I said, "no, really, I'm all right," but Ken insisted, pulling me more forcefully, and suddenly this didn't seem okay at all.

"Wait! Help!" I called out, turning towards the reception desk. Ken tried to hurry me around the corner to the elevators, but I kept calling out until one of the clerks came out from behind his desk.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" he asked, looking doubtfully at me and Ken, who still had a grip on my arm.

"Please, just ask this man to leave me alone. I do not need his assistance."

Uneasily the clerk said, "I'm sorry, sir--are you a guest at this hotel?"

Ken must have realized he wasn't going to get what he wanted, because he dropped my arm, said, "no--I'll just be going then," and walked quickly out the front door without even saying goodnight to me.

Feeling still more lightheaded and woozy, I managed to thank the clerk and ask him to accompany me to my room. Once I got inside I grabbed my cell and called Bobby.

"Baby, it's me. Listen, I'm not feeling so well--is it all right if we just say goodnight and I'll see you tomorrow when I get back?"

"Of course, Ari--are you all right? What's going on--where are you?"

"I'm in my room alone, but I'm feeling a little ... strange. Like I had too many drinks, but I didn't! Just a beer with dinner and two martinis. Anyway, I think I need to go to sleep." I was barely able to hold my head up.

We got off the phone and I was asleep in seconds. When I woke up the next morning I was wearing my wrinkled dress from last night, I was lying on top of the covers, and there was a wet spot where I'd drooled all over my pillow. I felt slow and stupid--drugged, almost. I dragged myself into the shower, packed, headed down for breakfast, and took the shuttle out to the airport.

I didn't really feel like myself until early afternoon--and as my head cleared I began to realize that I'd almost certainly been drugged. It had to have been that asshole Ken--I knew Brad and Debra pretty well, and I trusted them. Or I thought I did.

Which raised the next question: was Ken just some asshole who drugged women so he could fuck them, or had this been a set-up? I remembered the two other extra-handsome guys who'd pursued me on recent trips, and my unlikely suspicions began to seem less unlikely.

When I got home I unpacked and changed, then took a quick nap. Bobby was coming over for dinner after work.

I met him with a beer and a big kiss, then led him into the kitchen so I could finish getting dinner ready. "Did you miss me, baby?" I asked.

"Sure did. Two nights watching the Indians lose are a lot less fun than a night with my best girl."

I came over and sat on his lap. "I'm glad I'm your best girl--that's all I ever want to be.

"But I have a question for you," I said, looking right into his eyes. "Have you been sending guys after me on my trips to try and fuck me?"

I expected him either to deny it angrily or confess it shamefacedly, but he did neither.

"Yup. But nobody's nailed you yet, from what I understand." He said in an even tone, looking right back at me.

"Don't get all outraged on me, Ari, and don't expect me to be embarrassed. 'Once burned twice shy'--I'm sure you've heard the expression. And then there's the one about 'trust but verify.' "

I stood up and pulled the pan with the chicken out of the oven, setting it on top of the stove. "I'm not outraged, Bobby--disappointed, because it means you felt you had to do this, but I'm not outraged.

"You trusted me once and I betrayed you--terribly. Now you don't trust me, and I certainly get why.

"But I'm a little surprised that you told some guy he could drug me."

Now he did look shocked, and upset. "Drug you? What are you talking about?"

"Aside from the run-of-the-mill passes I'm used to getting when I travel, there have been three real hunks over the last few months." I filled him in on Mark and the second guy, then went on to tell him about Ken.

"And I'm pretty damn sure he put something in my drink, because I've never felt like that after two martinis, and because he was so aggressive about 'helping' me to my room. I'm sure that if I hadn't called for help he would have raped me--and then reported to you that I enthusiastically took him upstairs and screwed his eyes out."

Bobby was shaking his head, looking thoroughly dismayed. "Jesus, Ari, I never--this is bad." He looked at me. "I did send guys after you. All three of the ones you spotted, and another guy who must have made less of an impression. There were four of them.

"And I thought that Ken might have the best shot at nailing you, because he knew Debra from a long time ago--that part was no set-up. So he'd be a friend of a friend, and your guard might be down.

"But I had no idea anybody would try to drug you! I, I'm--I'm sorry about that, Ari, really. And I'm gonna have somebody tear that guy's fuckin' head off!"

I felt a little better, knowing at least that Bobby wouldn't go so far as to have a guy drug me. Small consolation, I guess! We talked for a long time over dinner about the whole thing--he told me about the agency he'd used, I gave him the details of the various guys and what they'd tried.

When we were having coffee I said, "so--you gonna keep sending hunky guys after me?"

"I don't know--do I need to?" Bobby was direct and unrepentant.

"Well from my point of view, no. I'm getting a lot of wonderful screwing from you, baby, right here in Columbus. I will NOT do to you ever again what I did while we were married. I've promised that before and I'm promising it again.

"But if you need to keep testing me--that's your issue. If you want to spend the money, be my guest. Only no more drugs, and no force, okay?"

He shuddered. "Jesus, Ari--of course not!"

I smiled. "Okay then. Will you take me to bed and make me feel better? I can do the dishes anytime."

************************

After that it became a joke between us. Whenever I came back from a trip Bobby would say, "did you spot my guy? Pretty good-looking, wasn't he? Was he a good fuck?"

And I'd want to say, "yeah, in fact he was tremendous. Big hard cock, and he went all night long." But there was no way I was ever going there, even as a joke. So I'd just describe whoever had come on to me, or the best-looking one if there had been several, and say, "was he yours, Bobby, or was he just overcome by my good looks and couldn't resist taking a shot?"

Then Bobby would say, "no, that one doesn't sound like one of mine, Ari--you must have gotten his attention all by yourself."

And then thank God we'd let it drop and get on with our lives. To tell the truth, I never really knew whether he was still trying to set me up or not. It didn't matter--I wasn't going to fuck any of them, and I never even let it get close to that. If Bobby wanted to go on wasting his money, that was up to him.

************************

The week after Labor Day I found myself taking stock. Bobby and I had just come back from a vacation on a lake in upstate New York--a romantic week full of hiking, canoeing, sunbathing, reading books, and let's not forget the sex. A lot of really great sex: sometimes hard and sweaty, sometimes romantic and gentle.

It had been nearly seven years since Bobby caught me cheating on him and divorced me, five years since he married Laura, and a little more than two since I'd returned to Columbus after their divorce and we'd started seeing one another again.

We weren't married and we weren't living together, but pretty close. We spent most nights at his house, where by now most of my clothes were in the closet, and we held onto my apartment more out of inertia than for any other reason.

When I thought about things I was so happy I could hardly breathe, but a lot of the time I just went about my business. I still had appointments with Jon Erickson every two weeks, but I was beginning to tell him I didn't see much point in continuing any longer, because "I have pretty much everything I wanted."

Of all the twists and turns in the long drawn-out story of me and Bobby, what happened next was the most surprising. Not in retrospect, maybe, once I thought about it, but at the time I was buffaloed.

It began with great news. We were having a beer together after a Saturday night dinner on the patio and I said, "how's Daniel?" Bobby had talked to his brother on the phone that afternoon.

"He and Marsha are fine--the kids too. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Smiling at me, he said, "they want us to come out there for Thanksgiving--both of us. I told him I'd talk to you about it."

My jaw dropped. "Really? Your brother will let me in his house? The whore of Babylon?"

He laughed. "Yeah, I guess he thought that for awhile. I did too, remember. When I caught you cheating, he listened to me and advised me and cheered me up and helped me not fall apart completely. And of course he hated you, Ari--why wouldn't he?

"But he's been hearing about how we've been doing, the last few months; and he says, 'it seems nuts to me, bro, but if you're happy, then I'm happy.'

"Of course, he also says, 'but watch your back, you hear me?' "

I nodded. "I can hardly blame him, Bobby. He saw how much I hurt you, and he's looking out for you.

"But if he's really willing to let me come out there with you, and be part of the family Thanksgiving--I'd be thrilled to go!"

I was over the moon! Not to mention already quite moist in my panties. I climbed into his lap and started kissing him, twining my arms around his neck. For a few minutes we made out on the patio; and a few minutes after that we were pulling off our clothes and jumping onto the bed together.

I got Bobby down on his back and dove for his cock. I didn't want to give him a supremo blow job like the one that had pissed him off--I just wanted to get him nice and hard so he could jam that beautiful dick inside me. 

So I licked him and sucked him, and I cupped his balls in my hand and stroked them, and he moaned with pleasure--but his half hard-on stayed just where it was, half hard.

This had never happened in all the years we'd been together. Not that I minded having his dick in my mouth, but after ten minutes it still was barely hard enough for him to shove it into me. I raised my head to look at Bobby and he looked embarrassed.

"Sorry, Ari--I have no idea why ... I mean, I want to, I just ..."

"Shh," I said. I arranged myself invitingly, lay back, held his cock and sort of squished it into me. This'll take care of it, I thought, and I started moving gently, enjoying the feelings.

But as Bobby thrusted away things got worse, not better, and within about a minute his mostly-limp cock just fell out of me. The look on his face was a mixture of surprise and embarrassment.

"C'mere baby," I said. I pulled him back down on top of me and snuggled into his arms, not saying anything else, just enjoying feeling his body close against mine. I was determined not to make a big deal of it--we were together, naked in bed, that was the main thing. After awhile we just pulled the covers over us and went to sleep.

But it happened the next morning too. Bobby woke up with his usual morning wood, and after each of us used the bathroom he was ready to jump on my bones--but when he started to put it inside me his dick swooned like Mimì in the last act of "La Bohème," and no amount of oral encouragement from me could bring it more than partway back to life.

Bobby was positively shame-faced this time. He insisted on getting down between my legs and licking me--and let me tell you, that man's talents with his tongue have not diminished with time! Between his mouth and his fingers he gave me two world-class orgasms, and I squealed and hollered with each of them.

But when I went to return the favor I could get nothing out of him. We eventually gave up and had breakfast; and when I suggested a shower together, thinking I'd have another chance to rouse him, he kind of nervously said no, he needed to get some stuff at Home Depot, and he was out the door before I could stop him.

Still no big deal, right? Except that it happened the next four times Bobby tried to make love to me: sucking his cock got him hard but not all that hard, and when he tried to fuck me it collapsed again. After that he started avoiding sex entirely. We'd still go out to eat or see a movie, and we were still sleeping in his bed every night, but he was keeping his distance. It got to where anything beyond a little light necking got him very nervous, and even at bedtime all I got was one kiss.

He wouldn't talk about it, either--he'd change the subject or simply shake his head and say, "don't try to psychoanalyze me, Ari, all right?" And I had to let it go, though I knew it was only going to get worse.

************************

I was right, too. Three days after our latest failure Bobby told me over dinner that he wanted me to go back to my apartment for the weekend.

I just stared at him, and he nervously said, "I'm getting together with Rachel."

Long silence. Cue the ominous drum roll.

I said, "okay." My mind was filled with questions: Does this mean you're giving up on us? Is this a one-time thing? Are you moving Rachel in? Do you want me to take all my clothes and stuff out of the house?

But I bit my tongue and didn't ask any of them. Instead I tried to take deep breaths, and we sat and finished our dinner. Neither of us said anything else about Rachel, or about what this meant.

I cleared the table and we loaded the dishwasher in silence. Then I said, "Bobby, can we go out and sit on the deck?"

"Sure," he said, and followed me out. I waited until he was sitting in a chair, and then without asking I climbed onto his lap and put my arms around him and my head on his shoulder. I had no idea what to say, so I didn't say anything.

After a minute's hesitation he put his arms around me, and we held each other for a while in silence. I was pretty scared and unhappy, but the hug helped a lot.

************************

I spent the weekend back at my place, using the free time to straighten up and do some laundry and try not to think about Bobby and Rachel--pretty much unsuccessfully. Felicia came over for the afternoon on Sunday and she taught me her fantastic paella recipe for dinner, so that was a nice distraction.

She filled me in on all the latest with Kurt, who seemed to have turned over a new leaf and was being an A+ boyfriend, and she commiserated with me about the latest upheaval with Bobby.

"Is this Rachel that same bitch he was screwing like a year ago, before the two of you really got back together?"

"Yeah--he broke it off with her back then because he was getting kind of bored, except for the sex. I assume this weekend is primarily about making sure that his cock still works."

In an unhappy voice I said, "I don't even mind his fucking her, honestly--I don't ever see that relationship going anywhere. What's scary is that he can't get it up with me right now, and if we can't fix that I KNOW our relationship is over."

I had no illusions that a big part of my attraction for Bobby, though certainly not all of it, was sexual. We had always been really terrific together, and the prospect of a celibate life with me would not hold much appeal for him.

"So what's your plan, Ari? You're the 'can-do' girl, how are you going to fix this one?

I shook my head. "I wish I knew. After all we've been through, after how well we were doing, this feels a little like karma stepping up and hitting me with a pie in the face. If he'd never spoken to me again after our divorce it would be one thing, Leesh. But to get back together, to be practically living together, and then this?"

Felicia didn't have any ideas either, except to open another bottle of a nice Australian white wine. That turned out to be a pretty good plan, at least for a couple of hours.

************************

The next few weeks were weird, tense, and very scary. I called Bobby at work on Monday and casually asked whether I should come over and make dinner for us that night. In other words: am I back living in the house with you, or are you tossing me out?

He hemmed and hawed and finally said he thought "we needed to take a little break from one another.

"It doesn't mean I don't care for you, Ari--not at all. It's just ..."

"Be honest with me, okay Bobby?" I said. "Is it just 'I need a little time to myself,' or is it just 'I want to fuck Rachel's brains out some more and you'd be in the way'? "

After a long silence he said, "well, she is coming over for dinner tonight."

I took a deep breath and said, "all right. Well, listen--can we stay in touch? Do you mind if I call you?"

Oh no, not at all, he said, of course we'll stay in touch. I didn't believe a word of it, and I got off the phone pretty depressed.

But I was wrong--we DID stay in touch. We spoke on the phone most days, and he called me at least as often as I called him. We had lunch together every few days, and he even asked me to come for dinner about five times in the next month or so. Each time it seemed to be taken for granted that I'd spend the night in his bed, although he didn't let me get close to him physically and there was no sex at all. We kissed goodnight like some old married couple, and that was it.




Ari Ch. 03



In response to my gentle probing he said that yes, he was "seeing" Rachel a lot, which I quickly confirmed meant "fucking." It appeared that his erection problem with me was not at all in evidence where she was concerned.

On the other hand, none of her stuff was lying around his house--no clothes, no lacy underthings, no cosmetics. And none of mine had been packed away. So as grim as things seemed, I had reason for hope. Maybe Bobby's strategy was "fuck Rachel a lot until I'm feeling confident again, then go back to Ari." That would be fine with me, but only if he DID come back to me--and if it worked.

************************

"So where am I, Jon? I thought I had my man back--in almost every way that matters. We were pretty much living together, I know he cares for me, he's even ready to include me in his family's Thanksgiving! You know as well as I do what a big step that is. And he clearly still wants to see me.

"But our sex life is nowhere, literally! For about six weeks now. And he's getting weirder and weirder about spending any time with me. When he does let me come over he avoids getting close to me, goes to sleep extra early or stays up late until I'm asleep. I'm afraid that any day now he'll tell me he's moving Rachel into the house to be his full-time fuck-buddy.

"And why shouldn't he? If every time we're in bed together his cock droops like a dead plant, I mean it's got to be making him feel terrible!" I put my head in my hands, staring at the floor miserably.

"Okay, Ari. We've talked about this before, but let's try again. Why is this happening?"

I stared at him. "Because God hates me and has a fucked-up sense of humor?" We both laughed.

"All right," I said. "I guess I can think of a couple of reasons. One: this is another, sort of subconscious way to punish me for what I did to him. A kind of revenge: 'You fucked around on me, Ari, now you're not going to get to fuck me.'

"Only, that's not so convincing. For one thing, it was years ago, and we've been through so much together since then--why would this just start happening now? But even more important, it's at least as bad a punishment for him as for me, since it's started messing with his head. He's got Rachel reassuring him that his dick still works, but I'm sure he's wondering if he'll ever be able to fuck me again--which he really likes to do. So, overall, I don't think it's about punishing me."

Jon nodded. "What's the other reason then?"

"This doesn't make much sense either, after all this time--but maybe he's intimidated by all the other men he knows fucked me during our marriage. Maybe it freaks him out, having to compete with them."

"Uh-huh. But why would that come up now, rather than months ago?"

I thought. Then I smiled. "Because ... maybe because he's starting to think more seriously about ... us as a couple, about getting back together permanently?"

Jon said, "that's what seems most likely to me. We've talked about this before: when it's all just casual, the stakes are lower. He doesn't have to think so much about what you did, all the guys you had sex with.

"But as you draw closer, and as the realization that he's back in a serious relationship with you looms in his mind, then competing with those men becomes a real issue. I'm sure that the family Thanksgiving was a major trigger for this, though not the only one."

I nodded, thinking about it. We were silent for a time. And then I grinned widely.

"If that's true, then--then if I could eliminate the issue of competition, maybe we could get past this?"

Jon smiled, saying, "I wondered when you'd think of that."

************************

Bobby had been avoiding me more and more, not only seeing Rachel but arranging dinners after work with some of his friends; but I managed to get him to come over to my place on a Friday night by promising him fried chicken. I'd always been just an okay cook but I made great fried chicken, and he still loved it.

We had a relaxed meal with a couple of beers, and then as we were finishing up the dishes I said, "would you mind giving me a hand with something, Bobby?"

"Sure," he said, probably figuring a bookshelf needed tightening or something. "What is it?"

"Give me just a minute and I'll show you." I disappeared into the bedroom, and about five minutes later I called him to come in.

"What the ...? Forget it, Ari," he said, turning to leave. I was standing next to the bed, posed in an absolutely obscene red nightie that showed off my nipples and my bush to best advantage. My hair was down and brushed and I'd freshened up my makeup. All modesty aside, I looked sexy as hell.

"Wait a minute, Bobby!" I shouted. I closed the bedroom door and stood against it, letting him take in the view. Then I moved over to him, twined my arms around his neck and gave him the hottest kiss I could manage. He didn't exactly kiss me back but he didn't push me away either, and I slid my hand down over his pants to find at least the beginnings of a hard-on.

Still watching him attentively, I moved back to the bed and let the nightie fall to my feet, posing stark naked for a minute. Then I got up on the bed and arranged myself so that I was on my hands and knees. My knees were apart and my ass pointed towards him, my lubed-up asshole glistening.

I looked back over my shoulder at his uncertain face. "Bobby--you know this. I was a cheating whore but I had my rules. The whole time, I never let anyone near my ass. No one but you has had me there in more than ten years, since before you and I first met.

"My ass is yours, Bobby, all yours, and it always has been. Now come take it."

He stared at me, and I waited, holding my breath. He said, "I don't think ..."

I jumped off the bed and walked towards him, letting him see my tits bouncing. I put my hand on his pants--his cock was swelling promisingly.

"Your woman, your ass, baby--just yours, no one else's." I crooned the words softly into his ear as I rubbed his dick. Then I quickly pulled his clothes off--he didn't resist me. I got him down on the bed on his back. Grabbing the lube, I greased up his cock, which was staying hard so far, then quickly climbed on top.

"Just for you, Bobby--only yours," I said again, and I slowly guided my asshole down onto him. He was being passive, which was a damn good thing because I hadn't had a cock up there since the day he'd caught me with Charlie. (I'll be honest, though: I had been practicing for a couple of days with a small dildo.) I eased myself down, groaning at the stretching, which was right on the edge between pleasure and pain.

He was patient with me--or maybe just stunned, I don't know which--and he let me work myself down on him slowly, taking an inch then pulling back up, so it was probably a good five minutes before he was all the way up my ass and I was seated firmly on top of his thighs. I felt so amazingly full--I almost couldn't believe he'd ever been all the way in there before!

"This ass has always been just for you, baby," I crooned to him, "only for you to take, now and always." I started to slide back and forth on him, dragging a couple of inches of his cock in and out of me. It felt fantastic! I watched his face, as excitement gradually seemed to be replacing shock.

Then suddenly he sat up, grabbed my arms and lifted me off him.

"Bobby, what--"

"Roll over, Ari--put these pillows under you." He got me up on my hands and knees at the edge of the bed, with pillows under my middle, and stood behind me. Then without any ado he pushed himself smoothly, firmly back up into my asshole. Right away he began sliding in and out. Thank God, he was taking charge!

I relaxed and gave myself over to the sensations. Bobby and I had both enjoyed anal sex during our marriage, though it had been a fairly rare event. Still, it surprised me that we'd somehow never gone back to it in the many months we'd been seeing each other.

He was speeding up now, holding my hips and pulling them back tightly on each in-stroke, shoving that delicious cock every last quarter-inch up my ass that it would reach. I was moaning, crying out his name, reaching back with one hand to rub my clit, which made my ass feel even better.

Before I could get myself off, though, Bobby sped up, started shoving in and out really hard, groaned incredibly loud, and then pushed into me with all his might, shooting his hot come into me. He grunted and cried out and yanked on my hips, trying to get every last millimeter of his dick inside me. It was too soon for my orgasm but I couldn't have cared less!

We collapsed together, rolling on our sides so Bobby could spoon me from behind, his dick slowly softening and finally falling out of me. I didn't dare say a word--I was balanced on the edge of incredibly happy and incredibly nervous. We lay together comfortably for what had to be at least half an hour.

Finally I rolled away from him, turned back and gave him a big smile and a big, loving kiss. Then I went into the bathroom, cleaned myself up, and came back with a warm washcloth and thoroughly cleaned his dick and his balls.

I said, "take me again, baby--take my ass and remind yourself that it's always been all yours, only yours." He watched me as I used my hands and then my lips and tongue to tease his cock, enjoying the feelings as I brought it to life. I took my time, and after maybe ten minutes he was wonderfully hard.

I got the lube again, put lots and lots of it on his cock and some more into my tender asshole, then lay on my back with my legs high in the air. I said, "take my ass this way, Bobby, so I can watch you reclaim what's yours."

This time he didn't hesitate; he rolled right between my legs, got up on his knees and started shoving his dick down into my waiting asshole. It hurt a little but I didn't try to stop him When he got all the way in I started rocking up and down at him and he pounded me, not fast but powerfully, coming most of the way out on each stroke and then descending again, smacking his groin against my ass.

As we fucked I saw him watching me and I smiled my love to him, kept telling him he was my man and I was his, all his, only his. When he started speeding up I grabbed his ass with my hands and pulled him into me harder. I knew I'd be very sore afterwards but I wanted him to really take me--and he did.

He started fucking my ass as fast as he could, and his face got kind of red, and he said, "yes, you ARE mine, your ass is mine and all of you is mine--no one else's, got it?!" and I was crying out "yes baby, yes I'm all yours," and I heard him let out a kind of strangled yell and he came as hard as I've ever seen him come, thrusting and humping into me, gasping for breath, until he was finally done and he sagged down on top of me.

This time I knew we were done for a while, which was fine with me--my asshole was on fire. After a few minutes I got up again, washed myself off in the bathroom, cleaned up Bobby again with a washcloth, then tucked us into bed together and turned off the light.

He was half-asleep already. I rolled up against him, said, "I love you, and I am all yours always--nobody else's," and we went to sleep.

************************

Nothing was said the next morning--it was as if it never happened. We got up, took our showers, I made him a nice breakfast, we talked about this and that, and off he went. No "gee honey that was great," or "thanks for doing that," or even "I had a great time." To say nothing of "want to get together sometime this weekend?" I knew I was going to have to wait him out.

He didn't call all that Saturday, and because I'm a glutton for punishment I drove by his house that evening around 9:00. There was a car in the drive that I figured was Rachel's. I went back home and paced the floor for a while, then went to bed. The next afternoon the car was still there.

Shit.

But on Monday, Bobby called around noon, all chatty and cheerful. I played along, wondering what the hell was going on. He said, "I know it's short notice, but Naked Sea Otters are playing at the Ol' Rodeo Bar tomorrow night--are you free?"

Damn right I was free. I don't like the band as much as Bobby does, but we still had a good time, and afterwards when he said, "Ari, do you need to go back home tonight?" I just smiled and said, "not unless your bed has suddenly gotten smaller."

He held my hand on the drive to his house, and when we got there I disappeared quickly. When he'd locked up and come to bed he found me naked on my hands and knees, my ass lubed up and the lube bottle next to me. Before he could say anything I said, "I didn't want you to forget who this ass has always belonged to."

This time I didn't even need to suck him hard--I wiggled my butt at him while he got his clothes off, and then he stood behind me and lubed up and teased me with his cockhead for a while, and then eased himself up my ass. We had a great fuck, slower this time and not as frantic, more relaxed. He reached around and twisted my nipples, and I slid my hand down onto my clit and gave myself one hell of an orgasm just before he came into me with a happy groan.

After Bobby had fallen asleep, his arms around me, I lay awake a long time. I wondered about him and Rachel, about him and me, about whether and when we'd get back to "regular" sex. I thought about all the ups and down we'd had since his divorce from Laura--and, going back even further, since the day we met, and since the day he'd found out how I'd been fucking him over.

The odds against us being back where we were were astronomical. I gave credit to my persistence, Jon's insightfulness, and Bobby's willingness to give me at least a bit of a chance, to get my foot back in the door. Without all three of those things we'd undoubtedly be living separate live, in different cities, probably without any contact at all. And I'd be miserably sad, and he'd be angry and resentful and hurt.

This is better, I thought. Not all the way there yet, but boy is this better.

************************

I didn't see Bobby for a couple of days--and I wondered whether he was still screwing Rachel--but he invited me over for dinner on Saturday night and said he was going to cook.

When I got there and saw we were having bruschetta, grilled steaks, baked potatoes and a Greek salad, I smiled to myself. This was one of the meals Bobby did best, and it meant he was making an extra effort. I helped with the salad, set the table, praised the excellent steaks and the nice wine he had found, and flirted with him all through dinner and dessert--almost as though we hadn't known each other for more than a decade.

It was a little too cold to go out to the back deck so we sat together on the couch in the living room. I snuggled up to him and said, "this is turning out to be a very nice date, baby. And you know what?"

He looked at me, interested, and I said, "I'm still really, really easy."

I expected him to laugh, or at least chuckle. But he just looked at me very seriously and said, "as long as it's only with me."

So I sat straight up, equally serious. I took his two hands in mine and looked right back at him. "Only with you. Now and for the rest of my life--or as long as you'll have me."

He held my gaze for a long time--it was almost as though I was making a pledge to him, though it wasn't anything I hadn't said countless times before. Finally he relaxed and smiled. "Well in that case, I have to say that I'm feeling pretty easy myself." 

I grinned and pulled him down on me, and we lay on the couch making out for a while, neither of us in a hurry. We kissed and murmured to each other, and he lazily stroked my breasts which brought my nipples to full attention. "That's nice," he said, and slipped his hands up under my blouse, pushing my bra up to get at them. He strummed them and teased them, all the time kissing me, and I started to get really worked up.

"Bedroom?" I said, but he shook his head and said, "not yet--I'm having too much fun right here." He caressed me and kissed me, licked my neck and nipped at my ear lobe, played with my breasts until I thought I'd go crazy with excitement--I felt like a 19-year old again.

I tried to get his cock out of his pants but he wouldn't let me, he just kept playing with me, finally sliding a hand down into my soaked crotch and giving my pussy its wake-up call. Long after I was totally ready to get fucked he was still teasing and caressing me, and I was ready to rocket into orbit!

"Please, baby," I said, over and over; and finally he just picked me up in his arms and carried me into the bedroom. I threw off my clothes as fast as I could, reached into the night-table drawer for the lube and arranged myself on hands and knees. But Bobby just kneeled down behind me, breathed on my wet pussy, and then started licking me, torturing me, making me crazy with his tongue flicking all around my clit. He held my hips so I couldn't get away and he licked and licked me until I came hard, screaming, trying to pull away from him as it got to be too much.

I collapsed face-down on the bed. But in less than a minute he was back behind me, pulling me up on my hands and knees again, then pushing his cock smoothly into my soaking wet cunt. It felt so fantastic that I didn't think right away what this meant. I just said "oooh" and started pushing back against his hips.

We fucked hard, excited, until he came, and then we lay together. Finally I thought, that wasn't my ass! He took my cunt this time!

I rolled over to look at him and he smiled. "Yup. Not that I haven't been enjoying nailing your ass, Ari, but your pussy was so wet and hot that it was hard to resist."

I hugged him hard and kissed him all over his face: his cheeks, his ear, his temple, and finally his mouth. We lay a while longer and I said, "again?"

"Well, if you twist my arm."

************************

I slipped out of bed early the next morning, pulled on one of Bobby's old T-shirts and made him his favorite breakfast: scrambled eggs, sausages, and waffles. When he ambled into the kitchen, probably drawn by the smell of coffee, I gave him an enormous kiss, seated him at the table and said, "eat. I've got to keep your strength up."

He smiled broadly. "Is that a threat?"

"I prefer to think of it as a promise--one that will be fulfilled in oh, 30 minutes or so. Depends on whether you want to shower before or after--and whether that will be together or separately."

The rest of the day felt almost like a honeymoon. We were in and out of bed all day, relaxing from sex for naps and the occasional snack. Bobby watched half of a football game while I made dinner, and we ate it in bed, before putting the plates on the floor to fuck some more. We must have done it six times in all, and we slept Sunday night like two dead people.

I had no idea what the next week would bring, but Bobby seemed to take it for granted that we were back together, that I would be staying over every night. That worked for me! Towards the end of the week he was talking about our getting away for the weekend, and I couldn't keep the question from bursting out of my mouth.

"So, uh, what's up with you and Rachel?"

"Oh, Rachel." He grinned at me, keeping me waiting. "Well," he said, still smiling.

"Sex with her was pretty hot." I silently noted the past tense.

"But sex with you is even better. And out of bed it's no contest."

I smiled back, waiting. I knew he wanted me to ask another question, but I didn't. We just looked at each other, smiling, waiting, and finally I said Fuck It and gave in.

"So you and she ..."

"We're done," he said, looking triumphant. "I started thinking, you've been pretty insistent about being committed to me and only me, maybe it was time for me to start doing the same."

He was still grinning as I shrieked, jumped up out of my chair and threw myself into his arms, kissing him and crying.




Ari Pt. 02



 [Author's Note]: This is a sequel to "Ari" by Just Plain Bob. Ohio has written a sequel to this great tale as well. Mine is a different version from his. I request you to read JPB's story before you continue as it won't make sense otherwise. The story continues from where his ends. It's my first story and I look forward to hear your comments, good and bad. However, be warned it is not meant for lovers of cuckold stories as this is a revenge story with a bad ending if you like cuckold stories and a good ending if you're a man who refuses to wimp out. 

I am grateful to JPB to give me the permission to write a sequel. If you hate it, blame me and not him. Any comparisons between JPB's story or Ohio's version and mine would be silly as this is my first story and they are proven masters. 

------------------------------------

To say that I was hurt would be the biggest understatement in the history of understatements. 

Arington or Ari for short my wife for seven years was not the loving wife I thought her to be. I took great pride in having a perfect marriage in an era where the concept of a perfect marriage did not exist. How do you convince yourself that the woman you love the most in the world is nothing but a common whore? Sorry, not a common whore but a corporate whore. Perhaps that made it worse? A woman who sells her body in dire circumstances can be classified as a victim of circumstances but a woman who willingly sleeps around when she need not is nothing less than a greedy selfish bitch. Sadly that greedy selfish bitch was my wife. I had uncovered the painful truth a few hours ago and found myself in unfamiliar surroundings of a motel room. The lonely double bed painfully reminding me of how lonely I had become and of the difficult road that lay ahead. 

As my anger rose, I became determined by the minute to get even. The humiliation at being cuckolded was too much to bear for a proud man like myself. I may have been cuckolded unknowingly but a wimp I refused to be. With these thoughts I decided to sleep for the night and plan in the morning with a fresh mind. I woke up the next morning wondering if all this was a dream but one look at my surroundings and I realized it was not. Ari was an intelligent woman and if I had to get the better of her I would have to plan really well. Never underestimate your enemy they say and in this case doing so would be a grave mistake as the enemy knew me better than anyone else. I called her up after having breakfast and she immediately picked it up. 

"Bobby where are you?" Were her first words in a tone that sounded sadder than I had ever heard, for an instant it melted my heart and I wanted to console her but then suddenly realized that all this has happened because of what she did. 

"Ari", I said trying to sound calm though god knows I was dying from inside. "I would be requiring some clothes and would be getting my stuff out of the house soon. I called up to ask what time would be convenient to do the same. By that I mean a time where there are no clients of yours at home. Seeing my wife entertaining her clients in my house for the second time may be too much for me to handle after what I went through last evening." 

"Bobby, there won't be anyone in our house ever again except you and me. What you saw and heard last night has killed me more than you realize but I won't say Sorry because a mere apology won't even describe how I feel. However, I would like you to know that I accept full responsibility for what happened. I would like to make it up to you if given a chance. Needless to say I would like to remain your wife and become the faithful wife that you so truly deserve but it longer is about what I want but about what you want." 

I had to give her credit. She had said the right things and sounded sincere but that was hardly surprising as a woman of her intelligence could clearly see that if there was any chance for us to survive she would have to do as I say. This is the opening I need I thought, I need to make full use of her so called repentance and turn it into an advantage. While the thought made me happy it also saddened me a lot. Here, I was plotting and planning to get revenge and get even on the woman whom I have loved for eight years and married for Seven. Had my marriage turned so ugly in a period of twenty four hours? Can one day change a life so drastically? 

"I don't know what I want at the moment but I do know I need time to organize my thoughts regarding your unexpected betrayals that has shocked me more than you shall ever realize but I did not call up to discuss my current emotional state with you as I doubt that would make a difference. I shall be there in an hour. Is that Ok? " 

"This is your home Bobby and you don't need to ask me for permission to come home. Of course it's ok! I shall wait for you. See you in an hour. "

I had some water, took a deep breath and thought of my just concluded conversation with my hopefully soon to be ex-wife. It was clear that I required time to plan my actions and anything done in haste could be disastrous for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I still loved her despite of what she did and so had to learn to overcome those strong positive feelings that still existed for her which was going to be a huge task as you can't hate someone you have loved for years in twenty four hours. If you can, then surely your love was not real to begin with. Secondly, although I had never doubted her intelligence one bit, the phone conversation sometime back further convinced me that here was a woman that could not be taken lightly as an opponent as the way she spoke on the phone seemed like a woman who was confident of solving any crisis.

What further made my task difficult was that I have never wished bad for anyone. Never had any so called enemies in school, college or at office. I got along well with everyone I came across due to my lighthearted nature. Thus, extracting revenge was not something I was used to and for the first time I was in unfamiliar territory. 

I reached home and rang the bell. Another first as I always opened the door with my own key. 

Ari instantly opened the door and for a few moments I just could not take my eyes of her. She was a naturally good looking woman and with slight make up on her face combined with a stunning black dress she looked like the proverbial million bucks. 

She must have read my mind for she immediately replied, "Yes Bobby, I did dress up just for you. I am your woman and despite of what you think of me at the moment, I love dressing up for you." 

"Good morning to you too Arington", I replied sarcastically indicating that I was not ready for any bullshit that she might try to feed me. 

"I know I royally fucked up Bobby but sarcasm won't help. However, if you feel that makes you feel better than I am Ok with it. As I said on the phone, do what you feel is right and I shall rightly agree to it." 

"I wish I knew what to do Arington".

She obviously was getting uncomfortable with me calling her Arington but my broken heart was experiencing raw pain that was crying to hurt her as much as it could. 

"I need to think a lot Arington. As you can see, I am not even comfortable calling you Ari. When I am not comfortable calling you by a name of endearment to you, you can imagine my state of mind. However for the sake of not distracting from the issues at hand I shall try to call you Ari"

"Ari yesterday was not a good day for me and that is too put it as mildly as I can. In fact, I doubt I can describe it in words as no words can explain the anguish I have felt since discovering your real profession. We need to talk or rather we shall have to talk at some stage for a closure. I do realize that, but that day is not today. In the meanwhile I can only request you not to entertain your clients at our house. Irrespective of what happens in the future, you are my wife till we get divorced and I would appreciate if I don't get insulted further. Be discrete in what you do is all I can ask for. "

"Bobby, I am hurt with the obvious sarcasm of sleeping with my clients. Though it is the truth hearing it from the man I love the most is very difficult to digest. I feel like you have slapped me a thousand times. Not that I deserve any less. I know it's not easy to believe me after what has happened but for all it's worth, I promise you that my days of sleeping with clients as you so eloquently put it are over."

This was so difficult for me to digest. I had not expected Ari to roll over so easily. Could this be a ploy? With a slight nod of the head, I said, "Let me collect my clothes and some stuff for the time being and I shall come over later to collect the rest of my belongings."

She looked at me with sadness in her eyes and I could see that she was trying really hard not to cry. "Where will you go Bobby? Where will you stay? This is your house. I can shift to the guest bedroom if you feel so but please don't leave me as we can't solve it unless we spend time together." 

This really pissed me off and she sensed it immediately. "You can't be serious sweetheart. Oops... sorry I mean soon to be ex-sweetheart. If you think, I am going to sleep on the bed where god knows how many men you have fucked then you're seriously crazy. I could shift to the guest room or some other room but that's not the point. The point is, I don't think its right for us to live under one roof until we decide as to what's going to happen in the future. For that we need to talk and for that I need some time. So for the time being, I am going to stay at my colleague Harry's house. He is out of town on business for two weeks and his wife is visiting her parents. I spoke to him last night without going into detail and he was ok with me staying at his place for a few days. I shall meanwhile try finding a house and can shift all my belongings there." 

I entered my room, grabbed some clothes, my shaving kit, toothbrush and other basic necessities and packed them in a bag. I looked at a photograph of the two of us on the side table, took it out of the frame as I looked into her eyes and tore it slowly into half. The slow tearing was more for dramatic effect to help me in my future plans. 

If she was trying not to cry till now, this act just tested her limit of endurance. The tears started rolling down her cheeks and I could not help but realize how pretty she looked when she cried. "Was that really necessary Bobby? I know you hate me now but I just can't take this side of you. "

"That's the problem Ari, I don't hate you. I love you so much that it hurts. If I hated you things would have been so easy for both of us. I could have just walked out and you could have continued with your life while I moved on with mine. Sadly, as hard as I have tried to do so in the last few hours I have been nothing but unsuccessful." 

"Look, I need some time, Let me think about this and we shall talk soon. In the meanwhile I suggest you get tested for STD's as I plan to do the same. I do know one thing my dear, if I have an STD or any unwanted disease then I promise you, you will live to regret it. Cuckolding me is bad enough, but risking my life with such carelessness is something I won't ever forgive you for."

"Don't worry Bobby; I always had protection with all my clients. Only Charlie did me bareback but he is clean. However for your peace of mind you can get yourself tested and I am sure the results will be negative for any unwanted diseases." 

"So good old Charlie is clean huh? How can you be so sure? Were you the only whore that was rocking his bed? Somehow I doubt it. I am sure there were other sluts in the office who were willing to spread their legs for some quick money." 

I quickly opened the door and left the house before she could say anything. An idea occurred to me. Suddenly I had a plan. I had a good idea but the planning and execution had to be spot on or else I would become the hunted instead of the hunter that I currently was.

As Bobby left, I shuddered to see how my life had changed in a day. Until yesterday, I thought I had the perfect life. A loving husband who loved me, a successful career- I had it all- The best of both the worlds. Suddenly I was at the brink of losing it all. I had woken up Charlie, the moment Bobby had left last night and filled him in as to what had happened. He was sad as we had no intentions to hurt Bobby in any way. As he looked at me with a questioning face, he asked me, "So what happens now? Are you planning to quit your job? I hope not because you are a great asset to the company. However it has to be your call and I shall accept whatever you feel is right."

"I don't know Charlie" I replied in a voice that conveyed how destroyed I was. "I would have to quit as Bobby would never accept me as long as I work for you. He may never accept me again, but I am going all out to convince him that I love him & don't think less of him as a man and as a lover. For now, I need you to leave. Just let me clear this mess. Please don't try to contact me. I shall contact you when I am feeling better." Charlie understood the gravity of the situation and left the house. 

On the way to Harry's place, I was deep in thought. Now that I knew what to do, I could not wait to get cracking. I was however very sure of a few things. There were two aims on which my strategy was going to be based. First one was to sleep with other women to show Ari how it feels. As much as I hated doing this there simply was no other option. There was no way that I could explain to her the thoughts and insecurities that surface in one's mind when a partner cheats. A more practical demonstration of that would be the only way to drive the message across. The second part would be a bit more difficult to carry out but would be equally crucial from my point of view of getting even and I hope I would succeed. I guess only Time would tell. As I reached Harry's place I saw his Cousin Thomas standing outside the apartment. I got out of my car and gave him a warm smile. 

"Hi Thomas Thanks for coming down to give me the key to Harry's apartment. I really appreciate it and am sorry for the inconvenience caused to you." 

"It's no hassle Bobby", He replied returning my warm smile which indicated it was just fine. "You and Harry have been friends for a long time and he looks up to you like an elder brother. He called up this morning and asked me to give you his apartment keys as you would be staying here for a while. If I can be of any help do let me know, no formalities between us. Harry's friends are my friends." 

"I am sure I will be Ok! Thanks once again." I took the keys from his hand and entered the apartment. I had been here many times and was fond of the place. I quietly entered the guest bedroom and settled my stuff in it. Although I now had a plan I had to wait for a couple of days to make it look like I had given it a lot of thought. 

As I entered my office the next day my secretary Gloria who had been with me for five years came rushing to me and asked in a concerned voice. "Bobby, how are you feeling now? I presume you were unwell because you would not miss office no matter what."

"I won't lie to you Gloria because I won't be able to. Health wise I am ok. I am perfect. But mentally I am completely shaken. I found out day before yesterday that Ari has been cheating on me for a long time. She is a corporate whore." As I said this, Gloria's eyes became really big and I could see she was clearly surprised. "Are you sure there's no mistake Bobby? That just doesn't sound like Ari. I know how much she adores you." 

"She adores me so much that she fucks her clients for money. She cuckolds me in my own home with her boss Charlie. If that's the definition of an adoring wife then I guess, I would rather be hated instead of being loved. There has been no mistake, I caught her in the act and she has confessed everything. I just need a break in the meanwhile to settle out things so I am staying at Harry's place for a few days. Do me a favor Gloria, if my harlot of a wife calls, please don't transfer the line and tell her I don't wish to speak to her at the moment." 

Gloria nodded her head with sadness. I knew this was a tough thing for her to do because she was quite close to Ari as well. 

Even though it had been only two weeks since I had caught Ari it felt like it had been much longer. Ari kept calling several times a day although Gloria had made it very clear to her that I was not in the mood to answer her calls. Gloria, I hear had even given her a pasting saying what was she thinking? In the meanwhile, I had found myself a small apartment as I did not require a large place to stay with my new found and unexpected dash at bachelorhood. Harry had returned from his trip and insisted that I stay at his place till things sort out but I politely declined. He had been a great friend and as much as I needed his support at this juncture this was my battle now and I had to fight it alone. 

I called up Ari and she immediately answered the phone. "Where have you been Bobby?" She sounded worried. "I have been trying to call you since two weeks but Gloria refuses to pass my calls to you and you refuse to answer your mobile phone." 

"Ari, Gloria was only doing her job as instructed. The break from you has helped me think and now I am ready to talk. I can come over tonight if you are free." 

"I am always free for you Bobby. I shall cook dinner." "No", I immediately replied with a tone that was sterner than I had wanted it to be. "This is not a dinner date; I am coming over to discuss our future Arington." Arington and not Ari, immediately made her realize how bad the situation is. "Ok, Bobby as you desire. I shall be waiting for you." 

"Sounds good" I said. "But please don't dress up or dress down in an attempt to seduce me or distract me. We need to talk seriously and that's all we are going to do. Talk! I shall see you at seven." 

"Goodbye Bobby, see you at seven."

I had mixed emotions. I was trying to be tough and extract revenge on a woman whom I admit I love. I had no other option. The fact that she had slept with a lot of people would not have been lost at her workplace and this behavior of hers had not only disgraced me but disgraced me publicly. I knew a few of her colleagues including her boss. They all must be aware of her activities and thus imagining what they must be thinking of me left me with no option but to go for what I would call as reclaiming my lost pride. I had been a good husband and had always tried my best to make her happy to the best of my abilities. My fidelity towards her despite having ample opportunities to indulge in affairs used to make me proud of myself. Thus, the way I looked at it I certainly dint deserve a cheating wife much worse a corporate whore who cuckolded me this way. 

By seven my car was parked outside what used to be my favorite place on earth, our home. Sadly the memories of her fuck sessions with Charlie at home made me so sick that I wondered if I could ever live in it again. I was nervous for some reason. I dint know how she would react to what I would propose but I had to act well. I had to sound confident even though I was not. I rang the bell and she opened it immediately as if she was waiting at the door for me. 

"Hello Bobby, please come in", she said it what sounded like a nervous tone. Although she was dressed in a simple t-shirt and Jeans with no makeup she could give tough competition to any beauty pageant participants. "Hello Ari", I said as I entered what had been my house for the last Seven years. We had bought it immediately after we had been married "Let's sit on the sofa and we can begin." 

We sat on two different sofas, facing each other. I decided to cut the chase and asked straight away, "How long have you been a whore? Why not just start from the beginning and tell me everything?" 




Ari Pt. 02



She obviously winced at being called a whore but hey, she bought this on to herself. 

"Bobby, Let me begin by saying I am glad you're here today. I will answer everything that you ask me truthfully and honestly. When I joined Charlie's company I was just a junior executive. I was very ambitious to grow as I have always wanted a very successful career. I was attracted to Charlie from day one as we both were similar in nature and got along quite well." 

"Well then you should have married him, why ruin my life?" I replied in a cold tone. The tears started coming out from her eyes. 

"Bobby, I know you're mad at me but this won't help. Please let me continue my story without any interruptions." 

"All right", I said. 

"So yes, Charlie and I got along well and within two months our affair began. I won't go into the details as I am sure it would hurt you more and unless you ask me to go there I shall skip the sex part in this story. Time flew by and I started enjoying my work and the growth that I was getting. Eight months after our affair began; Charlie called me in his cabin one day and came straight to the point. It seems we were having difficulty in cracking a deal with an important client and for some reason it was being delayed." 

He said. "Ari, we need this account urgently but for some reason it's being delayed. I want you to take over the client and try and crack the deal for us. Be as persuasive as you feel you should. Use your charm if required." I suddenly sensed there was a hidden meaning in this. 

"What do you mean Charlie?" I asked him in a very serious tone. "Are you asking me to sleep with the client? How could you think so low of me?" I was shooting daggers at him at this point of time. 

He looked at me and calmly said, "What's wrong with it? You sleep with me for fun. Look at this as an extension to that where you get to have fun, enjoy the sex as well as profit from it big time." The last point suddenly got me interested. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. "You will get our usual commission if you crack the deal plus a hefty bonus. This is a big account and the deal value could roughly be $ 15 million. Even if you get 1 percent of that, that's $ 150,000 for you. That's big money for just a few hours work." That suddenly got me interested. 

"Make it two percent and I am on." I replied. 

"Done" was his immediate response and he kissed me passionately to seal our agreement. 

"So that's how it all began. Since then every time there was a big account, I would be servicing the clients. "

"Eight months after you joined the office? That was Five years prior to our marriage, so are you telling me you have been spreading out for your clients for twelve fucking years Ari?" 

She looked down with shame and a face that had guilt written all over it. It was quite funny. "I am sure you were not ashamed when you were whoring yourself Ari, so why are you ashamed right now? Look at me in the eye, you filthy whore." 

"Please Bobby; I don't know what to say. I am so sorry. I dint mean to hurt you. "

"Yes I believe you. Of course you did not mean to hurt me. What were you thinking; I would just happily accept this? You know me better than that. So how much money did you earn in your long and illustrious career my dear?" I sarcastically asked. 

"I have about $ 5 million in cash and some Company Bonds as well". She meekly replied. 

"Wow!!! I had a feeling you would be rich thanks to your chosen profession but you have outdone even my wildest expectations." The sarcasm combined with my cold tone was hurting her a lot. "So tell me Ari, how many people in your office know about this profession of yours?" 

"Most of them have an idea as rumors fly fast and these things cannot be hidden"

"So, I guess it's a classic case of the husband being the last one to find out. How many colleagues of yours that I know are into this?" 

"Jennifer is the only one apart from me" was her reply. 

I was stunned! I had known Jennifer for a long time and she seemed so nice. "Well, I guess it just goes on to show that appearances can truly be deceptive. What about her husband Richard? Is he aware of his wife's 'extracurricular' activities?" 

"Jennifer has an open marriage as they are swingers. Plus, her husband is ok with it as he regularly fucks his secretary." 

"Good for them. But to the best of my knowledge we did not have an open marriage or so I thought. It also makes me feel stupid when I now realize that Jennifer and Richard have been laughing behind my back for being the poor clueless cuckold." I shouted as my anger rose.

"Nobody ever laughed at you Bobby. You need to understand that. This was a separate part of our lives."

"Forget it Ari, no amount of bullshitting will convince me about that. So I ask you the most important question Ari, Listen to it carefully as our marriage depends on that." As I said this, she suddenly had fear in her eyes; it was a look that I had never seen before.

"Please don't say that Bobby, I told you I shall do everything you ask me to. Please don't leave me. I want to stay married to you."

"Hmm do you? Let's see. How serious are you about my forgiveness and what are you planning to do about it?" This was the all important question on which my plans depended. I hope she dint realize that I was more nervous than her when I asked her this question. 

"I am very serious, Bobby. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it." 

"It might not be that easy Ari, I hope you realize that". 

"I do Bobby and I am willing to do anything, just tell me what." 

"Ok! You can keep your bonds but I would want the $5 million cash and I would want to sleep with Jennifer for a few months we shall decide the time frame later. I would like you to also sign a contract stating that I am sleeping with her with your consent and thus later you can't sue me for infidelity if we go for a divorce. Is that ok, with you?" I asked as I looked at her straight in the eye. 

The color drained of her face as she finally realized the true price her infidelity was going to cost her. "The first part of your condition is easy Bobby, you can have the money. It does not mean more to me than you do. I am Ok with that. However the second part of your condition is going to be difficult as I can't just ask her to sleep with you." 

"You don't need to ask Ari, you need to pay. She is a whore; she plays for pay. You can pay her to service me. Ask her to imagine I am a client and it's a deal for her. Or you can cut a deal with her wherein you promise to service her clients and help her get a bigger bonus in return for her servicing me. Whichever way you see it make sure I get some good pussy soon. I am horny and I don't want to fuck you right now. I need some variety." 

"Do you hate me so much Bobby? You will make me do all this?" 

"I don't hate you Ari; I am just getting my self-respect back. The cuckold is getting even." 

"If you want to get even Bobby, why choose Jennifer? Why not choose some other woman whom we don't know. Some high class escort perhaps, that would be easier for me to arrange." 

"Some high class unknown escort did not laugh at me behind my back. She did. She was my friend too, although she was your colleague. I could have been warned by her in some way. Plus her husband was in it as well. No! It has to be her and no one else. Take it or leave it, I am not negotiating." 

"Fine Bobby you win. But you need to give me some time to speak to Jennifer as it won't be easy." 

"The road to redemption never is Ari" 

As I left that night, I realized that now that this has started I better not lose focus. I badly wanted to teach Ari a lesson for humiliating me the way she had done and show her how it feels when you put a lot of effort into something (as she had in this case in earning that kind of money) and someone just pisses on it and it gets spoilt. In this case it gets lost. She loses the money, she loses me in the end and I also get to stick it to her by sleeping with her colleague.

The first thing that I did the next day was speak to William an ex-colleague who was intelligent in 'hiding stuff', a fact I learnt during his divorce. William had caught his wife Lisa cheating on him and dint feel like paying the cheating whore half his assets. So he carefully and systematically began hiding his money with the help of his cousin Sally who happened to be a top notch lawyer and had good contacts and experience to handle such situations. 

"William, how are you doing buddy? It's been long" I said as he answered the phone.

"Hey Bobby, it's so good to hear from you. I am doing well! How have you been?" He spoke with a lot of enthusiasm on the phone. 

"William I need your help. I need to meet you immediately. Can we catch up for lunch today?" I asked in what I hoped sounded like an emergency. 

"Is everything all right Bobby?" He sounded concerned. "Let's meet at one for lunch at the usual." 

"That's perfect. Thanks, I'll see you at one." The usual was a code word for a restaurant that we used to frequent near our office. It was a great place and we had many good memories out there. 

I arrived at the designated place fifteen minutes prior to our chosen time and choose a table on the corner that afforded us some privacy. The people out there knew me well and this assured that we would not be disturbed. 

William arrived on time and we shook hands warmly and hugged like long lost brothers. I guess it was a bit over dramatic but it really felt good to see an old friend. 

"As good as it is to see you William; I wish we had met in different and more pleasant circumstances. Right now buddy I am not in a good frame of mind and I need your help." I explained my situation to him in detail ending with what I wanted.

"I am sad to hear this Bobby as frankly you and Ari always seemed like the perfect couple. This was the last thing I ever expected in life and as you know, I have more than experienced my share of surprises in this lifetime. So what do you have in mind and how can I help you?" 

"I want to hide the $5 million that I get from her and need your help in that. I don't want them to be traced easily." 

"You will need to open a bank account in Cayman Islands. I know people who can help you do the same. Just give me a day's time and I shall take care of everything. I have good contacts. I won't comment on what you are doing but I do understand the thought behind it. Having felt the pain of betrayal first hand when I caught Lisa cheating on me I fully understand what you're going through."

"Thanks William. I knew I could count on you." I was relieved to hear the good news. We ordered lunch, talked of old times for some time and left after that. 

As I reached office, I immediately prepared a contract that stated that I was free to have sex with Jennifer mentioned her full name and details. I also mentioned this was with consent from my wife Ari as well as Jennifer and thus I could not be sued at a later stage for the same by any of the parties. Although, I was not sure as to the legalities of the contract, I knew this would further embarrass Ari when she would have to sign this along with Jennifer.

The next day, William called me and said he had done the needful and gave me my new bank account number and other details. I thanked him for the same, we chatted for some time and he hung up saying that I should feel free to call him anytime I need help. 

I called up Ari and told her I would be home that evening to discuss some things. I asked her to make some dinner this time as I would like to eat at home. (I would miss eating at my house in the future so wanted to make up for it) 

I reached home at seven and this time the door was opened before I could ring the doorbell. 

"Hi Bobby, Please come in. You look nice." 

"Thanks Ari, I won't bother returning the compliment not because you don't look nice but for the simple reason that you know that I find you the prettiest woman I have ever met. You will always be a stunner in my eyes even when you're seventy." 

"Well, that's very sweet of you to say so Bobby. I do hope we are together when I am seventy. If that happens I shall be one happy woman." 

"Of-course it will happen Ari, provided you are willing to make amends for your behavior. Let's have dinner first before we discuss some pending business." 

I could see the sadness in her eyes as I spoke the last sentence. "It hurts me to see you behave this way Bobby. I know, I am responsible for it but to call it business is something that I just can't accept. I guess, it's good in a way because it's hurting me and I deserve to be hurt." 

We had dinner peacefully. It was obvious that she wanted to please me as it consisted of my favorite dishes including mashed potatoes. After dinner, we once again sat on the sofa's facing each other as we had done during our last meeting. 

I cleared my throat and began a well prepared speech. I handed her a piece of paper saying, "Ari, these are the details of my new bank account. I expect a transfer of $5 million in it by tomorrow". I handed her a contract saying, "this is the contract we spoke about, and it ensures that you can't sue me for infidelity at a later stage. The same rules apply for Jennifer as well. Please get her signatures on it tomorrow and let me know when I can come over to fuck her brains out. Just thinking of her big tits give me an erection, I can't seem to control. So hurry up sweetheart!" If looks could kill I would have been a dead man as Ari glared at me for a moment. 

"Big tits huh, I guess I can't really complain when I have had my share of big dicks. I spoke to Jennifer today and have arranged 'your entertainment'. I am not paying her cash for the same but I will be paying for it indirectly by servicing her clients and ensuring she gets a bigger bonus. It's a complicated arrangement but it will be done. I Hope your happy now. "

"I am loving it!" I said. (Gosh! That sounded straight out of the Macdonalds ad on TV but the truth was I was loving it!)

She signed the contract in front of me and said. "Do we really need Jennifer's signature on this? This would embarrass me to no end Bobby."

"It's about my safety my dear", I said in a soothing voice. "I won't divorce you so won't require it but god forbid If you change your mind tomorrow after all this and try to go for a divorce I need to be protected. Jennifer's signature only ensures she can't sue me as well. I am sure she won't but I am just playing safe. It's only normal. As for the bank account in Cayman Islands, it ensures secrecy, is tax free and I have some plans for our future out there." 

"I trust you Bobby." 

After bidding goodbye I left the house whistling to make it look like I was enjoying this. The truth was it was killing me from inside. I have never been a calculative man before nor have I been cruel nor have I enjoyed myself in someone else's misery. My fear was had I suddenly changed so much that I was trying to destroy a woman for whom I could have happily sacrificed my life a few days ago? Can human relations turn so much in such a short period of time? No I thought. I am still the same; it's circumstances that are forcing me to react this way. With everyone else I would behave as I always had. It was necessary to show it to Ari that what she had done was equivalent to a world war in my life. My entire life, my faith in love was shattered. My heart was crying from inside and asking a thousand questions but they all ended with the same. Why? Why? Why? Why did she do this to me? Did I really deserve this? Does anyone deserve this? 

There were two options. First was to cry like a wimp and expect pity from people around me at my situation. The second one was to fight back and show my beloved wife that human relations are fragile and cannot be messed around with in such a cruel way. A broken heart takes years to heal or so they say. I guess I was about to find out but truth be told I would rather not go through this as the pain was unbearable. I went home and slept peacefully for the first time since I found out about Ari's deceit. I guess it was due to the fact that I was really tired mentally and needed some rest. 

I was in office the next day when Ari called me up. "Hello", I answered trying to be as formal as I could. 

"Hey Bobby Ari here" came back the reply. "I called up to say that Jennifer will be coming home tonight at eight, hope its fine with you." 

"No Ari it's not fine. I would prefer meeting at my place as I can be sure the room won't be rigged. Can't afford to have hidden cameras and all you see. "

"Stop it Bobby!" she cried. "I am scared at the change that has occurred in you. Why would I rig the room with hidden cameras? I know you don't trust me but this is breaking me." 

"Ari," I replied. "Once this is over we can be together forever. I just need to get my pride back. If that does not happen I shall have performance issues in bed and our whole lives would be screwed. You would not want that now would you? I told you it's not going to be easy so if you want to back out please free to do so anytime. I am hoping you don't and that our love is strong enough to withstand your humiliation towards me." 

"Bobby, I don't know. I am having serious doubts, is this a game that you're playing with me to get even and then dump me? Not that I don't deserve to be dumped by you but please don't play with my feelings darling. "

Ya sure bitch I thought. I shall be as considerate towards your feelings as you were towards mine when you cuckolded me for seven fucking years. Calmly I replied, "I am not playing any games Ari; it's for you to trust me. As I said this is just to make me feel better and heal my bruised ego. I shall text you my new address. I shall see you and Jennifer at Eight out there. Have dinner and come as I won't be making any." With that I hung up and texted her my new address. 

At sharp eight, the door bell rang. I answered it to see Ari and Jennifer standing outside. "Hi, Jennifer, Please come in", I said as I gave her a nice hug. "Hi Ari, come in please. Make yourself at home."

"This is not home Bobby and you know it." Ari replied. "I am doing this so we can be together in our rightful home and not here." 

"Ari it's good to see you try so hard to save our marriage. But we would not be here if you had not cuckolded me in the first place. So don't back answer me bitch and shut the fuck up." "Jennifer, I need to speak with you in private" Saying this I took her inside the room while Ari waited in the kitchen.

I shut the door and started speaking to her. "You have truly hurt me Jennifer. I considered you a friend not just a colleague of my beloved wife. I have known you for over Five years and not once did you feel the need to tell me that my marriage was nothing but a sham? How could you be so friendly with me when we met at the company parties annually? Did it give you a secret thrill to know that I was a cuckold? Did it turn you on? Do you have such a low opinion about me as a man? If nothing else than as a friend did I not have a right to expect better from you?" My questions seemed to hurt her and she looked visibly shaken.

"Bobby, first of all I have the greatest amount of respect for you as a husband, as a man and as a human being. I realize that you won't trust whatever I say but I promise you I am speaking the truth. Ari often speaks about you with the highest regards and mentions that you're the best thing that ever happened to her. She considers herself to be the luckiest woman on earth for having the most lovable husband ever. It hurt her that she had to lie to you about what she did but the fact is somehow she never separated the sleeping around with her clients from the rest of her work duties. Maybe because she had being doing it even before you entered her life, she simply failed to separate that part. I wanted to tell you at times but did not have the courage to do so because I had come to realize you were too honest a man and I did not want to hurt you. Hurting you was the last thing on our minds and we simply did not speak the truth to save you from the pain that it would cause you."




Ari Pt. 02



"Are you kidding me? You thought it's better to hide from me that my wife is a whore to save me some pain rather than opening my eyes on a deceit of this magnitude??? That's unbelievable. Now I know why the old adage goes with friends like you, who needs enemies? Anyway you are here for a reason today. I want you to know if you're Ok with it. As much as you have hurt me, I am still asking you if you are Ok with this as I did consider you a friend once upon a time and won't force you to do something you are not comfortable with." 

"I am Ok with it Bobby. You once again proved what a fine gentleman you are. You ask me for my preference despite me not being totally honest with you in the past. Why are you like this Bobby? Why are you so nice? I understand your reasoning behind doing what you are doing and I am sorry for the part I have played in this deceit. I am angry at Ari for deceiving you this way so I told her she would have to sleep with my clients for me to sleep with you. But I have realized my own betrayal to you in this messed up situation and I won't make her sleep with my clients. Bobby, if fucking me makes you get even with Ari or makes you forgive me for the part I played in this I will happily submit myself to you. You deserve much more but all I can offer you is my body. I have an open marriage as Richard and I are swingers. Thus, my lifestyle does not hurt him. You on the other hand don't have that kind of a marriage and thus what Ari did to you makes it all the more worse. All I can say is that I shall regret this to my dying day and that losing your friendship and trust has been one of the biggest mistakes of my life because it's not every day that one meets honest people who can be trusted blindly." 

"Ok, Jennifer I changed my mind. I guess you're right. I am tired of being the nice guy. So fuck the talk come over and suck my dick and show me your magnificent boobs. I can't wait to suck your nipples baby." 

She came forward unzipped my trousers and started giving me a heavenly blow job. I guess her experience at sucking dick was very obvious. I was getting impatient as I started stripping her of her clothes and started sucking at her magnificent globes. I was not even trying to compete in skills and impress her with mine as her experience in bed was far greater than mine for obvious reasons. Therefore I decided to let her take over and enjoy her talents. 

We tried all the possible positions, including anal which has always being my favorite. Damn that was a wrong move! Moment I entered her from behind I remembered Ari, how much did I really love that woman? Even when I am in bed with Jennifer who was a very good looking woman herself I was thinking of my wife. 

"That felt great. Jennifer." I told her as I stood and got dressed. "Yet, I must confess I was thinking of Ari and was not completely into it. I guess a part of me will never forget her. My marriage vows mean a lot to me and this is not making me comfortable. So let's end this for the night." 

"I understand Bobby. As I have said, I am there for you if you ever need me in any way. And I mean anyway. Do let me know. You're a good man. I am truly sorry." Saying this, she gently kissed my cheek and got dressed and left. 

After she had left, I saw Ari having a glass of water in the kitchen. "Well, how does it feel to see me fuck another woman Ari?" I asked her in a harsh tone. 

"Oh Bobby, I am so sorry. You have to forgive me. Seeing you inside with Jennifer killed me totally. I now understand what you must have gone through when you saw me with Charlie, This pain is too unbearable. For me it's something I deserve so I can't complain but for you to go through this for no fault of yours is way too fucked up and just not acceptable. Can you ever forgive me?" 

"One hour with one woman and you are so broken Ari, Imagine how I felt when I discovered I was cuckolded for seven fucking years. Seven years Ari. They say the number seven is lucky for some people. Well, it turned out to be highly unlucky for me. Your seven year marriage itch began in the first seven minutes of our marriage for all I know. Were you faithful to me on our marriage day? Can you even imagine the kind of questions that come in my mind? The hurt, the pain of betrayal from the one I loved the most. Why did you do this to me Ari?" 

I guess it was time to let it all out now that we were having this talk. "Even when I was with Jennifer today, I could not go through it wholeheartedly. It took me less than an hour with another woman to realize this was wrong. How come you dint feel so when you were fucking all those men for money? Marriage vows were converted into a joke. Forsaking all others lost all meaning in your eyes so easily Ari. Why? A part of me wants to kill you. But that's not worth it as I don't want to spend the rest of my life in Jail. Ari understand one thing, you have made me doubt my ability as a lover, my value as a husband and my self-respect as a human being." 

"I just don't know what to say Bobby. I wish I was dead is all I can think of now. Remember one thing Bobby; no matter what none of this was ever your fault so please don't have any doubts. You were a good husband and a good man; please don't ever doubt it because of me." 

After she left that night I tried to sleep but that was not happening. With so many questions in my head and mixed emotions in my heart my body although tired was not read to rest. 

I called up Gloria the next morning and informed her that I would not be coming to office. I needed to go find a lawyer and proceed with the next and perhaps the final step. 

I wanted a lawyer who was not known to Ari so thought of hiring someone new. I called up William and asked for his cousin Sally who represented him in his divorce. He gave me her phone number and promised me to fix a meeting for me with her. After half an hour he called up saying that Sally would see me at three that afternoon. 

I reached ten minutes before three and was asked to wait by her secretary. After ten minutes she said "Miss Andrews will see you now, kindly go in". I thanked her and entered her office. 

"Hi, you must be Bobby" said a very attractive brunette as she stretched her hand. "I am Sally Andrews, you can call me Sally." 

"Hi Sally, I am Bobby" I said as I stretched my hand. 

"Bobby, I have heard a lot about you from William and he has given me all the details as to why you're here. What I would like to find out is what exactly do you want? I presume you're here for a divorce and divorces can be handled in different ways depending on what you want." 

"I am glad William has updated you on my situation Sally; it would save me the energy from repeating it again. Frankly even speaking about it hurts me and embarrasses me. You know Sally; I have thought a lot about this and have realized that reconciliation is not possible. I also accept the fact that I shall be unhappy without Ari and moving on may take a long time. But I feel it's the right decision from a long term point of view. Trust in any relationship is the most important factor along with love and respect for each other. Here all three are challenged. She not only broke my trust but made me doubt her love and respect for me by doing what she did. I am not questioning her lifestyle as that was her decision but what hurts is that she never bothered informing me of the same."

I was choking up as I said all this as it was getting hard to digest what my wife had done. "Before we got married she could have told me as to what her real job profile was. I love her so much that I would have come out with a solution at that time. I could have made her realize and convince her to leave that life as we dint need the money and I was not comfortable with sharing her with another man no matter what the reason was. Had she even told me all this at that time it would have been different but to find out in such a cruel way i.e. accidentally when I came home early was not acceptable. The deceit was a big insult to the love that I had provided her with during our time together." 

"Hmm, I understand what you are saying Bobby, what Ari did was a very cruel thing to do and it certainly questions all the issues you have raised regarding love, trust and respect. Finding your spouse cheating is always a shock for people and more so when you find out that she is a whore and has cheated on you with many people." Sally replied. "When William had caught Lisa cheating it was a very difficult period for him and I know the efforts I had to put in to cheer my favorite cousin and help him move on. Life can really be cruel at times but Bobby, one has to move on and that is simply the way it has to be. Look at the bright side in this, you'll don't have any children. Had there been children involved it would have complicated things in a big way." 

What she was saying made a lot of sense. I nodded at her as if to indicate I understand what she is saying. She continued, "Normally when a couple divorce, the issues involve children and their custody and visitation rights create the biggest problem for an attorney as both the parties fight it out for their share. Furthermore, the impact it has on the child cannot be measured and can be devastating at times. Usually reconciliation is looked as an option by many couples because the pain of divorce is simply too much too handle. However in your case I am not sure counseling or any such thing would help because this is not a one off affair that Ari had. Here the level of deception is too huge and I suspect it may take a long time before you fully heal from this. My advice to you would be to move on and take it day by day and see how it goes. So tell me Bobby, how may I assist you and why were you keen on meeting me?" 

"Sally, I have heard great things about you from William so I thought you would be the right person to approach for my divorce. I want to know my options." 

"We live in a no fault state Bobby, so your options are limited. A 50-50 split is what you can best expect. Since there are no children so the question of child support won't arise. Both of you are earning well and if we look at Ari's assets including the bonds she has then she certainly has more money than you do. Thus, you don't need to pay her anything. Who owns the house? 

"I do" I replied. "But she can have it. I don't want to sleep there anymore. Not in the house where she has fucked Charlie and god knows how many other men. Plus, it has many good memories and if I live there I would constantly break down and moving on would be more difficult." 

"Ok so we can give her the house, but would you like her to buy your share or how do we go about it?"

" She can keep it for free. If we sell it and she pays me my share or even if she buys it out from me it will take time. I am in a hurry out here. The divorce has to be a surprise and I need to move out immediately after she is served. Timing is crucial out here. She is an intelligent woman and I don't know how she will react after she finds out what I have done. Plus, I don't need the money and will have her $ 5 million with me in my new bank account in any case." 

"That was a very clever move; however I am surprised she has agreed to give you $ 5 million so easily" Said a visibly impressed Sally. 

"Well, that's because she thinks we are going to be together and this is just a way of my testing her whether the money is more important or me. That's why I need to hurry up fast. As an extra resort, I shall open a new bank account and transfer all the money into it, there will be no trail left as to where it went and thus at a later stage Ari won't be able to trace me or the money. Needless to say, William and your help will be required in all this and I am counting on the both of you." 

"This is a most unusual case Bobby, and I must admit I am impressed at the way you have handled it. Most men would have been crying and not been able to think straight. You however thought about it, planned it well and realized that you need to use her weapons against her. She played with your trust. You are playing with hers. Very clever indeed! Bit of coldhearted for the cuckolds out there but then you never were one, you always were a real man or so you have proved now. You don't hurt her physically that's not manly at all. You just get back to her and give her, her own medicine."

"Thanks Sally, it has not been easy at all. So by when can the papers be ready?" 

"Preparing the papers won't take time. Give me two days to make sure everything is in order. In the meanwhile let's get working on your new bank accounts and identities if required once you leave. I shall keep the papers ready and shall inform you once they are done. You can let me know when to serve." 

"I shall do that Sally, Let the money be transferred in my account first. Let me clear my office work and everything out here. Once I am done, I shall let you know." I shook her hand warmly and said Goodbye and left the office. 

The next week flew by quickly. I had given in my resignation at the office; My Boss Karan was more like a friend and less like a boss as I had helped him settle when he joined our company four years ago. He was not willing to accept my resignation at first and demanded to know why I was quitting when I had a great future out here. I told him everything and asked him to keep it a secret. 

"Bobby", He said in a sad tone, "it's no secret that of all the people who report to me you're my favorite. I have always considered you as an equal and never as a subordinate. I am shocked to hear all this and wish you all the best for your future." 

"Thanks Karan, Your support has meant a lot to me and to be honest working under you has been a lot of fun and a great experience for me one which I shall cherish." I shook his hand warmly and asked him to keep my resignation a secret. Apart from him and Gloria no one should be aware of it as secrecy was important to me at this stage. He readily agreed. 

Gloria came rushing in my Cabin and asked me, "What's this I hear Bobby, you have turned in your resignation this morning?"

"Hi Gloria, yes sadly it's true. I am here only for a couple of days to ensure that I complete all existing projects and leave. Please keep it a secret because it has to be a surprise for Ari." 

"That's but obvious Bobby, I can understand. It's just that working here without you won't be the same and I shall miss you a lot. I wish things had turned out differently." 

"I wish so too Gloria but life seldom goes as per plan and now I need to move on. Crying over Ari's betrayal won't help me do so. So, give me a smile and be cheerful for the next few days, not that you always aren't but this shall make me happy." 

After Gloria left, I started transferring all my savings into my new bank account. After an hour or so Ari called up, "Hi Bobby, is this a good time to talk?" She asked. 

"Sure Ari, tell me." I replied. 

"Bobby, I have transferred $5 million in your account. The amount should reflect in some time. I hope you can forgive me one day and that we can move on with our lives because I look forward to make it up to you for the rest of my life." 

"I look forward to the same Ari; it's good to see that you're going all out to make it up to me. I guess you really are sorry. I love you a lot and hope we can hopefully go past this nightmare one day. I have some work in office I shall speak to you later." With that I hung up the phone. 

Although it all seemed like a cakewalk in convincing Ari to give me the money and allow me to fuck Jennifer it was anything but so. I was finding it harder by the minute to continue this drama as I was scared I might just cry and say the truth. Emotions are not easy to control and when you have been badly hurt you can never be sure how you will react. I was glad things were going to plan and that this farce was going to end soon. 

As I reached home that night I was reflecting on my future and was thinking what I planned to do. The last few days had drained me emotionally and had exhausted me physically even though no real physical work was involved. I was feeling tired overall and was looking forward to rest and lead a new life ahead. Initially, I had thought I would donate the money to charity but $5 million is no small amount. I further had my own savings from my earnings over the years and now I was in a position where I was set for life financially. 

I was having breakfast the next morning when Sally called up. "Hi Bobby, sorry for calling you so early in the morning but I thought I should start your day with some good news. Your papers will be ready by afternoon and I can serve them when you wish." 

"Good Morning Sally," I cheerfully replied. "That's indeed great news. The money has been transferred in my new account and I have transferred my savings into it as well. My office work gets over in two days so by then we should be set. I shall keep you informed of the same. Ideally I would like you to serve the papers at home in the evening so I can straight away leave for the airport from there and start my new life. I need to give Ari my final goodbye speech before I leave. I guess it would be priceless to see her face when she realizes that she fucked around with the wrong man." 

"That's right Bobby, I wish I could be there to see her face. You can fill me in on all the details later once you are settled in your new life. William has opened a new account for you and he would be providing its details to you in some time. You can transfer the money there for the time being and later we shall transfer it a few more times if required to ensure that it can't be trailed easily. The money will disappear faster than Ari can say Jack Robbins if she decides to go for the kill. I have a feeling that it won't be so bad. A woman who readily transfers $5 million to you cannot really care two hoots about the money. So let's wait and watch." 

"Sally, She transferred because she thought it was a test let's see how she reacts when she realizes that she is duped". No matter how it goes I am sure it will be painful for her and that was the main objective of this whole exercise. To make her realize what deceit really feels like." 

"Bobby, I shall speak to you later as I got to rush for work, don't want to be caught in traffic. You have a great day ahead. Keep me posted. Bye." 

"Sure Sally thanks for being such a help. I really owe you. Will keep you posted. Bye." 

By afternoon, I had transferred the money to my new account as William had provided me with the details that morning. Everything was going according to plan. I just wish my marriage had gone according to plan. 

Two days later as expected my office work was completed. I was now ready for the final countdown. 

I called up Sally and asked her to serve the papers at five that evening. I had a flight to catch at night to Spain. My vacation was about to begin. My tickets, accommodation and other details everything was planned and ready. My bags were packed as well. I dint have a lot of luggage as I had not taken a lot of stuff with me in my new house when I shifted there. I was Ok with leaving the rest of my stuff at my old house as they would only evoke memories. For a fresh start at a new life I needed to get rid of my old baggage and that included Ari. 

I called up Ari on her phone hoping she would not be busy at office. 

"Hi Bobby", she sounded cheerful as she answered the phone.

"Ari, I need to talk to you its urgent. Take the day off if you have too or leave office early, I want you to be home by three. I shall reach by five. Make sure my favorite mashed potatoes are ready by the time I reach as I will be hungry. Can you do that?" I asked.

"Sure Bobby, Is everything Ok? You sound stressed."




Aria



He was one of the stars of the football team. I was a "band geek". He was funny and always surrounded by people. I was usually alone with my books. He was the most photographed senior boy in our final annual with one hundred and thirty six pictures. I counted. You know how many pictures there were of me? Not counting the individual pictures they put in of everyone, there were two. Both of them, I was part of his background. In one, I was reading. In the other I was looking at him.

Looking back, it seems that I was always reading or playing my music or looking at him. I wasn't alone in that last. Every girl was looking at him. But, he was the only guy who never tried to get in any girls pants. I mean, I wasn't one of the lucky ones. I never had the chance to go out with him. Who wants to go out with a girl with lenses so thick she looks like an owl or teeth that could eat an apple through a picket fence? Not anyone else, but more importantly, not him.

But, girls talk, you know? And all I ever heard were complaints that he didn't try anything. They would talk about the others trying something, and how they sometimes let them succeed. But, never him. Not him.

That was then, though, and this was now. Everything I had eaten for the last month was haunting me in my guts. Would he notice me? Would he see me? Would he care about the changes I had gone through? The changes I had gone through for him?

"I know that look. It's too late to chicken out now."

"I'm not chickening out." I whispered, not daring to look up at Claudia. "I'm just..."

"Girl, look at me." I didn't want to. But, when she bent over in front of me almost touching the top of my head with her forehead, I had no choice. I wished, once again, that I had her eyes. "Look. I don't care about this thing one way or another except for this. It's eating you up inside like a cancer. You have got to face him and then either live your dream or get over him and move on."

"I know." I whispered. My eyes were burning and she seemed to shimmer in my sight.

"Besides, you know these jocks let themselves go after high school. He's probably already bald and has a beer belly. Probably married the head cheerleader and they have some kiddo in the homecoming court already."

"I doubt that." I laughed and wiped at my eyes. "You don't know him like I do.  He's different."

"Then I bet he brought his boyfriend."

"Stop that." I laughed and swatted at her with my towel. "He is not gay."

"Honey, I call them like I see them." Claudia's laughter had died and she looked completely serious now. "If he never touched a single girl he went out with, like you say, and he isn't hooked up already. Then he's most likely gay. I just want you to promise me that, however this goes, this is it. It's over. You'll give one of the guys back at Juliart a chance."

"I don't know if I can-"

"Just a chance." Claudia's fingers touched my mouth as she spoke. "Not marry the first one when we get off the plane. But go out on a date with one or two. Give real life a try instead of this fantasy you are living in."

She didn't understand. No one did. If he could just see me, he would know I was the one for him. I knew he would. He couldn't help but know it.

When I spotted him at the game, I knew she was wrong. I would never be able to move on past him. And I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of getting past that social barracuda on his arm. It wasn't one of the old cheerleaders. They were gathered close around him, and more than one was literally green.

I sat with the band and talked with the only person other than him I cared anything about seeing, my old band director. Once, when the band struck up a song, he turned and our eyes seemed to meet.  That moment seemed to stretch forever. He smiled and waved. I lifted my hand to wave back, but he had already turned away again.

God, how could I have been so stupid? I wondered as I excused myself and started down the bleacher steps. I didn't care about the half time show with the latest blond bimbette waiting for her tiara. I had never cared about the game, except when he was playing. I was here for him. And I shouldn't have been. The last five years of making myself over into someone pretty enough to notice were all for nothing.

Memory guided my steps and I ended up passing through the band hall to the auditorium beyond. I had not been in this building since I was handed my diploma and went off to college. But, before that I had spent hours here alone with this old piano.

A tear slid down my nose and fell on one of the keys. It was almost hard to believe that the weight of it hadn't sounded the note. Without a conscious thought on my part, my finger reached out to stroke the wet key. As always, the note reached into the very core of my being and pulled my heart out.

My other hand reached out and stroked another key. I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the music. Let it leech out my sadness the way tears had never been able to. The chords hammered at the pieces of my heart, breaking them smaller and smaller and mending them at the same time.

When that song was through, there was more in there. I could not stop. I didn't want to stop. This time, though, it wasn't sadness but the love that had stolen my breath away the first time I had seen him smile at me. I was caught up in the storm of emotion tearing at me as the love and the sadness that it was unrequited tossed my heaving heart adrift in the ivory and ebony.

When there was nothing left to come out, my hands stilled and I let the pedal off the floor. The final note drifted away into silence. And then I heard a jarring note shatter the musical spell.

"I thought that might be you, but I wasn't sure until now."

Oh, God! It was him! He was here. He had heard my music. He was looking at me even now.

Aware that the careful make-up job Claudia had done on me was now a smeared mess, I turned away from him and started to rise.

"Laura, wait. Please."

Wait for what? So he could see how hideous I looked now? Now that all of my careful preparations had been destroyed? I was three steps away from the bench and headed for the door when his next words made me trip.

"Of all the things from high school, I miss your music the most."

"What?" I held my hand up to try to block the lights so I could see him. "When did you ever hear me play?"

"All the time." His voice was approaching the steps to the stage. I could see him appearing from out of the shadow. "I used to bring my lunch in here and sit and listen to you play every day. I went to all of your recitals. No other music has ever touched me the way yours did."

"I-I never knew anyone else was here." I stammered, drawing my legs up under my skirt. He stopped and knelt down with his hands on his knees.

"I know," he said. "I was afraid that if I ever said anything, you might not come here anymore during lunch. It was nice. Like my own private concerto every day. But tonight... you've never played like that before. Your music was always beautiful. But, tonight was like the hand of God reaching down and touching me. Please. Before you go, would you please play something else?"

"B-but, what about your girlfriend?" I hated myself for asking. "Isn't she waiting?"

"Sylvie is just a friend. And she knew I was here to see you all along. She's fine."

"Oh, um. Ok, then." I stood and moved back to the bench. I settled my skirts and looked at the keys blankly. "What, um, what would you like me to play?"

"Anything."

I jumped at the nearness of his voice and glanced over my shoulder to find he had moved closer. So, close in fact that he was almost touching me. I closed my eyes and murmered a quick prayer that this was real and not some hallucination from falling and hitting my head trying to run down the bleachers or something.

"What you played before almost destroyed my heart," he whispered softly. "Could you play something to mend it?"

My hands were shaking as I tenderly caressed the first notes out of that old piano. The chords were nervous. Shakey. A tremulous virgin's first kiss. A boy trying to get up the nerve to ask out the girl of his dreams. A girl wondering if the boy would ask.

"I don't understand how you can put something so beautiful into being," he murmered. "I've tried and tried and I can not make anything worthy of your music."

"Oh, please," I laughed as I continued to play, the notes taking on the joyousness of him asking and her saying yes. But, now the nervousness was of how to act on that date. "You were a football stud. You were among the top ten in our class. You were in the play. You did lots of things."

"I tried lots of things," he sank onto the stool beside me. I winced as I hit a wrong note, distracted by his nearness. "But, nothing I did was as beautiful as what you do. Nothing I have ever done or will ever do will last as long as what you do."

"You're just saying that to be nice." I was hitting more and more wrong notes, but the dischordance wasn't wrong. It was right somehow. It fit the magic of the moment, the spell of the music.

"No, I'm not." He said. I glanced over to see a tear leak from the corner of his eye. "I tried music first, then painting, photography. Anything and everything I could think of, but nothing hits the heart like what you do. I've listened to other music, studied other people's art. None of them have your gift."

The tremulousness, the nervousness was gone now. My fingers hammered and danced among the keys, tapping out joy for all I was worth. I wanted it louder. Louder than the pedals could make it. I wanted the whole world to here this joy, to feel it.

"I fell in love with you when I heard your music the first time, Laura."

"Wh-what?" I felt like I was choking on my heart as my hands froze. As I turned and looked at him, I felt like my eyeballs were going to fall from their sockets.

"I'm sorry." He bounced to his feet and took two steps backwards. "I shouldn't have said anything.  I came here tonight, and then followed you here to tell you that. It's okay though. You don't have to say anything. I'll go."

"No!"

The bench fell over as I stood. My skirt caught on the legs and I stumbled. His arms were there. Perhaps I wouldn't have fallen off the stage if he hadn't caught me. Perhaps I would have recovered and been fine. But his catching me stopped me from a wound worse than falling and breaking my neck. If he hadn't caught me, I would have broken my heart. I would have broken my music.

"You are my music." I whispered into his strong chest. "My teacher told me I was perfect, but had no feeling. I walked out of class that day almost in tears and ran into you. You helped me gather my sheet music and smiled at me. Your smile is all I see when I play something happy. You with someone else is all I see when I play something sad. I don't see the notes on the page. I don't play chords and... and... I play you. You are music. Without you, there is none."

I had done it. I had told him. After all this time. Now, I wanted to throw up. Or at least sit down and put my head between my knees so I wouldn't. But, his strong arms held me up, held me to him. I was going to faint. I felt like several of the strings of the piano had snapped halfway through the piece I was playing.

"I never knew," he whispered. I felt his breath in my hair, then his lips pressed against the top of my head.

I tilted my head back and looked into his eyes. This shining moment was what I had been waiting for all my life. This glorious song of love and contentment. But, there was more waiting. I just knew it. So much more.

I lifted my lips until they touched his. It was magnificent. My heart soared like a bird's song with it's delicate wings fluttering in my breast. I needed more, so much more. I stretched out my tongue to taste his lips. His mouth opened and let me in.

I felt his hands sliding up my side, his palms pressed against the sides of my breasts. We were building towards a crescendo, the musician in me could feel it coming. How high the crescendo would reach, I didn't know. But, I wanted the music to ride it as far as it would.

I moaned in his mouth as my hands reached behind me to unzip the dress that I had so carefully selected to look good for him, but was now in the way. I stepped back, breaking our kiss and the top of my dress fell forward into his hands, baring my breasts to his view.

"Oh, my god, I was wrong." He whispered as he stared at me. 

My hands started to reach to cover myself. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could I have been so stupid?

"There is something more beautiful than your music after all." He continued as he dropped that inconsequential scrap of material and stepped towards me again.

I felt like my face would shatter, I was smiling so hard as I reached for him in return. His hands were like a harpists as he played me like the finest instrument. His armature was firmer and surer than any horn player as he worked me with kisses. I reached the first cresendo of climax laying atop that piano with his head between my thighs.

There was no denoument, but a crescendo of another type as I dropped to my knees before him and reached for his belt. No flautist has ever applied their lips and fingers to the notes the way I did to his flute of skin. He throbbed within my mouth in tempo to our rendition of the oldest dance.

Not even the sour note of the pinch of pain when he took me on that piano bench could spoil the song of joy I screamed to the heavens that my dreams, my music, was becoming real.  I thought the concert ended when he spasmed and lost the beat within me, as I felt the warmth soaking into me. I prepared to give him, to give us, a richly deserved ovation. But it was only the end of the first movement.

Again and again, he took me on that stage where I had thought of this moment as I played that piano. We could hear the band come in and leave until all was silence. The game would have long been over. People were waiting for us. Yet still my maestro coaxed note after note and chord after chord from me. Now pounding into me like a kettle drum, now drawing sweetly across me like the purest tuned violin.

But, no concert may last forever. Every musician tires eventually, no matter how much they may long to sing just one more. And so, after the final coda, we lay there on that wooden floor, a sweaty disheveled mess, gasping for breath.

"So, what now?" I asked.

"I would say that's up to you," he smiled over at me.

"I could move back here."

"And give up your music?" He propped himself up on one elbow and stared at me. "Not just no, but hell no."

Didn't he understand yet? Without him, there was no music. I felt wounded. I wanted to weep. After all of this, he didn't want me?

"But, I will graduate in December," He said as he stroked my nipple. "I was thinking about graduate school, but... nothing says I have to go here. I mean there are other schools out where you are that I could study something other than music, right?"

"Really?" I gasped. "You mean that? You would come out there with me?"

"Only if you want me to," his hand pulled away and I wanted to moan for the loss of his touch. "I mean, I guess I could stay here and just buy your cd when you get famous."

It took me a moment to realize he was teasing me. I hit him in the shoulder and he smiled and leaned over me to kiss me.

Dressed again, and outside, I studied our hands where our fingers were intertwined. Somewhere in the distance, horns were honking and people were yelling.

"It looks like we won," he said, pointing at the scoreboard that was still lit up.

"I'll say I did." I smiled. He smiled back at me a pulled me in for a kiss.

"There's other places you could do that you know?" A voice called. "It's fucking freezing out here."

I looked over to see the beautiful woman who had been sitting with him leaning out the window of his car. Jealousy surged through me, then died. He wanted me. He was going to follow me home.

"So, how is this going to work anyway?" I asked, looking up at him. "You'll just... I don't know. Move in with me or something?"

"Or something." He smiled and his fingers flexed in mine. "We have a couple of months to talk about it. We can try it however you want it. Just promise me you'll play for me again."

"Always," I whispered as I leaned in to kiss him. "Just promise me you will play me again."

"Laura, Kevin, I hate to be a party pooper and I am really really happy to see it worked out for you guys but I've been sitting here for two hours. Can we please either break this up or move it somewhere I can get warm? Please?"

We laughed and I reluctantly let his fingers go. As he walked away from me towards his car, it was the last time I would ever see him. He was killed thirty minutes later in a wreck with some drunk football players who's celebration got out of hand.

I didn't know anything about it as I drove back to the hotel where Claudia was waiting for me. I didn't know a thing about it the next day as we boarded our flight home. The first I knew was when Claudia set me down and showed me a web page news story about the accident. According to the story, the whole town was in mourning for the three boys killed in the crash; the quarterback, the receiver who caught the game winning pass, and the tailback who had already signed with some college or another. She made me keep reading. I screamed when I read the names of "the couple in the other vehicle".

Did they mourn him too? Or was five years too long for them to remember he was once a star on that same field? And they weren't a couple. We were. He was mine. Finally, after eleven long years, we were going to be together. Would they have mourned that too? Or just the drunken louts who stole him away from me, who stole my music?

I tried to follow him. I would have too, except for one tiny miracle. While I was being treated, it was discovered that I was pregnant.

I had trouble reaching the keys during my May recital. Partly, the tendons in my arm were still stiff where I had cut them. Partly, my huge abdomen was getting in the way. I was too tired to play a curtain call for my standing ovation. Carrying twins will take a lot out of you. But, as I stood there on that stage to accept my bouquet of roses, I felt him applauding too.

I still feel him there, listening, every time I play. Whether it is on a stage in front of a thousand people, or an audience of two listening to a lullaby at home. When the music pours out of me I can feel him.