91 comments/ 77286 views/ 2 favorites An Answer By: chasten Yes, I can tell you. * * * They moved our group up to the fourth floor a few months ago, remember? I sit on the outside aisle now. He'd walk by to the coffee station every once in a while, always saying hello to everyone, including me that first day. He was easy with everyone, even the twenty-somethings. I guess his thirty-five...I found that out later...made him fun but safe. We'd chat if we happened to both head there at the same time. If he was alone, sometimes he'd stop by on his way back and talk for a moment or two. Once he brought a second cup of coffee back with him and set it on my desk, "Thought you could use this." It became a sort of ritual. * * * We had lunch together in the cafeteria once in a while. More often. Regularly. Sometimes with others, sometimes not. When it was just us, we'd talk about what we liked, where we'd been. Not much about family, lots about what we wanted to do someday. I came in one day and found an out-of-print book by an author I had mentioned on my desk. "Found it while I was in a second hand shop anyway," he said, brushing off all thanks. * * * You got that promotion at Christmas. "Nothing much, no real money," you said, blowing it off, "just a bit more responsibility." "Congratulations," I said. "Come on, let's go out for dinner." Fun to eat out for a change, it's been a while. Looking back, I should have seen your secret pride, you had wanted it, acknowledgment for years of work. It was a pleasant evening, but I think you wanted me to fuss a bit more. * * * "Some of us are going out for drinks after work," he announced one day. "Come out with us." I shook my head. I had to stop at the grocery store and then get dinner ready. The subway was jammed and I was late getting home. You were quite late getting home, yourself, and we ate it in front of the TV, staring at some sitcom. * * * The next week, "drinks again, come along?" "No, I have a husband waiting at home. I should get going." "OK," he said easily. Paused on his way out, "No matter how married you are, you still can come out one of these times." Still with the easy smile, then gone. * * * He was right. The third time invited, I called you and you said, "Sure, have fun, we'll eat when you get home." One drink. You had already eaten, "I was starved!", but you reheated the spaghetti for me and we talked little things before heading up to bed. * * * It was nice to have the kids home at Christmas. You didn't like Rebecca's boyfriend, though, said he was a little too free with those hands. I laughed at you, remembering a few visits to your parents' house. You knew I was a bit down at the party but not why. It was Sam. No, not what you're thinking. Sam's just a friend. You caught him giving me a kiss under the mistletoe. He was all sheepish, you just said, "Hey, ease up on the old girl, she's taken." It was different from that year after high school, when we weren't sure we were together, I let Bill Waldman kiss me and I had to beg you not to start something. * * * There came a time when the drinks were just the two of us. I didn't know, he just said "A drink?" and we went. We talked about the kids away at school, his sans-girlfriend status..."the last was a demon from hell, best left undiscussed", the plans you and I had to do a bit of traveling, plans that somehow hadn't become real, yet. He wanted to travel, too, castles, ruins, ancient wonders. I expressed my desire for sunny beaches, cool drinks in a chaise. "I got it, then!" he said. "Italy, just the two of us. A few days in Florence for me then on to Cinque Terre for your chaises and cabana boys with fruity drinks." I just laughed. "You're a very bad boy." He grinned, didn't meet my eyes for second, "Sorry." My eyes held the disbelief at that apology, I recognized a while ago that he was more than just friendly, hitting on me a bit. Any woman would. * * * The 40th party you threw for me in the spring was fun, though perhaps the number of fire extinguishers around the cake was laying it on a bit thick. Sex was good that night, it had been a couple months without. Even longer back to a time when it was more than a quick fumble, you holding off just long enough for me to come with you. That night was more like the old days, slower, multiple orgasms, more like the younger me rather than the middle-aged, bit worn-on-the-edges woman I see in the mirrors some days. * * * I was on the elevator with another woman when he got on one day. The other woman got out a floor before ours. He stepped back suddenly to let her out and the back of his arm bumped my breast. He looked at me, face flushing a small bit, clearly flustered, embarrassed, "Sorry," he said. I knew something then. I'm not sure why I knew, I just did. He may be serious in his flirting with me, but he wasn't a player, wasn't someone for whom I was a tally. He wasn't smooth enough. * * * Out of the corner of my eye, I'd see his gaze occasionally wander up and down slightly, never overt, never rude, never if he thought I or anyone was watching, eyes always firmly on mine if I turned toward him. If only you knew, I'd think, gravity sagging things here and there, some stretch marks, not bad but there if you wanted to see. "That dress is a great color on you," was his reply even though I hadn't said a word. * * * Do you remember the get together at the Haroldsen's? It took me an extra hour to get home from work. I wanted to just pass on going, or at least go late, looking in the mirror, seeing slightly askew, flustered, middle age, bad day on the subway. "Don't worry about it, honey," you said. "Let's just go. Nobody'll care." I realized that you were telling the literal truth. * * * I saw him early last week in the coffee room, talking to one of the young women before she headed back to her cube. I watched him watch her as she did, watch the slow sway of her rear as she walked away. He didn't see me standing a bit behind him, so I said, "Hello,"--just enough tone in my voice that he knew I knew. His head snapped around, all instant nonchalance. "Hi," he responded. "I'll bet she'd go out with you," I offered. He looked at me for a moment, then shook his head with a half smile. "Maybe in a noisy club we'd have fun. But if we had to sit and talk with each other, we'd run out of conversation fast." I thought about us later, about our conversations. Comments how the house was quiet now that the kids were gone. Golf scores. What events were coming up the next weekend. About the neighbor's new car. Things that were going on at work. But, I wondered, did you know how much I cried over the ending to that book I read last weekend? Probably not. Did I know how you felt about the little bald spot you were getting? I realized I didn't; you probably were insecure about it but I had never asked. * * * I called you to say we were going out because Sandy was quitting. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Watching TV. Have fun, talk to you later, love you," you replied and went back to your show. * * * Some of us danced at the bar that night. Mostly fast stuff but a couple of the slow ones. Some of the guys in the office are a bit grabby in those, both arms around you, sometimes hands sliding a bit low if they think they can get away with it, putting your arms around their necks. He didn't. My right hand lightly in his left, his other hand toward the small of my back, like a waltz, our legs brushing each others as we moved. Sometimes my breasts would touch his chest as we turned. I knew he was conscious of it...perhaps he knew that I knew, I'm not sure. Looking back, did I know then? Perhaps. We used to dance like that. "Teasing," you called it. * * * The party ended, people heading home to families and lives. He asked me about another drink. "I'd like that," I said, "Chardonnay." Not my first, second or even third of the evening. Not drunk, though perhaps if I was pulled over they would disagree, just feeling good and enjoying the conversation as we sat and talked, just the two of us, conversation wandering far and wide. No sense of hurry. It wasn't the alcohol, if that's what you were thinking. * * * There were no cabs outside. "I'm a couple of blocks over that way," he pointed. "Let's walk. It will be easier to find one on the avenue." We strolled that way, my arm hooked in his, he grinning as I teased him a bit for his admission he had watched the spanking scene in "Secretary" five times, replying, "Hey, at least I wasn't a Duran Duran groupie when I was a teenager." "True," I replied with mock chagrin. * * * The wide street was there in front of us. "I'm just up there," he said, gesturing to a building across the street. He was quiet for a moment as our eyes flicked over the passing cabs, occupied. "You know, the first part was fun, I really liked dancing with you." "Yeah, me, too," I replied. "But I'm even gladder you stayed." I watched him as he fumbled with his words a bit. "Sitting and talking with you was more fun than anything I've done in a long time." His eyes went down the street. "There's a cab coming down there. I can grab it for you." He wasn't relaxed anymore, he held his arm awkwardly, both my arms still looped through it, uncertainty written on his face. "Or..." I just looked at him for a bit as I watched the cab draw up to the corner. I watched as another couple waved and ran over to it, then I tugged his arm and we headed across the street. * * * I look over at you, sitting in the marriage counselor's office. You wanted to know why? Now you do. An Answer to Her Heart Author's Note: There are brief lesbian undertones to this erotic coupling story, but the sexual action is heterosexual. Thank you to AussieAngel for the story idea. ~ Red * "You're sure?" Jade whispered against Gabi's neck. She felt her lover's chest rise and heard the heavy sigh escape her lips. "Jade, I'm sure," she told her and hugged her tight. She then loosened her hold and used one hand to tilt Jade's head upwards. "I am not upset. I am not hurt. I am not angry. I love you and I want you to do this, because if you don't," she kissed her forehead, "you'll never know. Right?" Jade bit her lower lip and nodded her head. "I love you too. I just..." "Enough baby girl. I am okay with it. I know you need this. In a way I need it too. I want you to be sure you're where you want to be... with me." Gabi slid her fingers into her lover's black hair and coaxed her forward. It didn't take much for Jade to meet her half way and when their lips touched, each one moaned softly. They kissed slowly, each letting the other have a chance to cleanse away the taste of iced donuts they'd been eating. When the kiss became more heated, Gabi drew back. "You best get off me, or you'll be late for work." Jade blushed, but nodded her head. She slipped off her lover's lap and walked a few feet away. "Gabi..." "Yeah?" "Is this going to change us?" she asked, a look of concern filled her anxious features. Gabi tilted her head to one side and smiled softly. "Yeah, it will... but I think it is going to make us stronger." Jade grinned. "I hope so," she said and hurried to the bedroom to change for work. Gabi watched her leave and then tucked her chin into her hands. "I hope so too," she whispered, feeling a bit of doubt begin to creep in. She sat alone in the kitchen, she and Jade redecorated when they moved in together. It was five months ago today that they had graduated from high school, four months and a week, since moving into the tiny apartment and announcing that they were officially a couple. Now they were about to face what Gabi knew was the biggest threat to their relationship. However, if Gabi stopped Jade, then she'd never know if they were supposed to be together or not. She heard the bedroom door open and quickly composed herself, put on a smile and rose to walk her lover out to her car. "When you're ready let me know." "I will," Jade told her. "And I think you're right. I think Mike's the right guy to ask." "Yeah, I think so too. He knows both of us very well and we know him. Not to mention he's the most honest and trustworthy guy I know." "I agree." Jade stepped up and kissed Gabi again, this time taking a moment to slide her hands to her lover's hips and pull her close. "I want you so bad," she muttered through moist lips and slick tongues. "I want you too, but the rent needs paid," Gabi chuckled, pulling herself free and playfully swatting her partner's ass as she got into the car. "Have a good night," she called out while waving goodbye. Jade drove carefully to work, trying to focus on who was scheduled to work with her that morning. She pulled into the department store parking lot and saw several customers milling about outside. "You got fifteen more minutes," she said and rolled her eyes, before she got out of the car and entered the side door of the building. Once inside she quickly grabbed a soda to stash at her register and then found herself thinking of Gabi and their conversation. She remembered how Gabi's face had seemed to fall when Jade told her what she wanted to do. She wasn't sure she'd done the right thing, but after talking it over with her lover, she knew she had to do this, if not for herself than for their relationship. "Hey Jade," a warm baritone voice called out to her. Jade looked up and blushed as the object of her and Gabi's conversation walked past. "Hi Mike," she said, with a soft smile. She bit her lower lip and wondered if now was the time to ask him. She told herself it was, but then she decided that it wasn't. "During break," she muttered and watched as he made his way to the doors to let the customers in. Hours passed before Jade took her first break. She grabbed her warm soda, a pack of crackers from the vending machine and found a place to sit on a bench behind the store. It wasn't long before she was joined by Mike, as was custom for them to take their breaks together. "What's up?" he asked after opening his soda and taking a long draw from it. Jade screwed up her face and looked at him oddly. "Huh?" she asked, not sure what he was referring to. "You've been distracted all morning. Staring at me every time I come up front as if I have the plague or something. What's up?" "You know me so well, do you?" she asked and bit into her cracker. "Yeah, I know you. I know you're bugged about something. I just don't know yet what it is. Are you and Gabi okay?" he asked as he peeled an orange, sending zest everywhere. "Yeah, were cool. I haven't been happier," she said and then averted her gaze. "Come on Jade, what is it? You can trust me. I know your parents weren't to keen on you and Gabi moving into together, but I thought they accepted it. Are they the problem?" he asked, putting his orange away for the time being. "No, its me. I . . .," Jade sighed heavily and then blew a puff of air, sending her dark bangs flying. "Mike, I have never been with a guy." "So," he smirked, "neither have I." He winked. Jade rolled her eyes. "Mike, be serious. I want to know what it is like to be with a guy. I mean. . .I've dated boys and well, kissed them and it was nice, but I never was willing to go further." Mike shrugged his shoulders. "That's okay. You've got Gabi, so it's obvious a guy isn't your thing." He bit into his orange and licked at the juice that slid down his chin. "You're pretty comfortable around me and Gabi, right?" "Yeah. I've known you both since grade school. Why?" Jade took another calming breath and then placed her hands in her lap. "You're not seeing anyone right now, right." Mike screwed up his forehead and eyed her cautiously. "No, I'm not." "And you're into women." He chuckled. "Hell yeah." "Mike I want to be with a guy and..." "Hold it right there. Does Gabi know what your thinking?" Jade nodded her head yes. "I love Gabi and she loves me, but she's had sex with a guy and she knows she doesn't like it. I haven't. I don't know if I like it or not. I want to find out. I want to have sex with someone I trust and I know isn't screwing me because I'm just a piece of ass. I want to be with someone who I respect and who respects me. Someone who will take their time and... Mike, Gabi and I think you should be the guy." She watched him stop chewing. Her gaze held his for what seemed like an eternity, before she lowered her eyes and felt the heat of her cheeks grow even brighter than they had been when the conversation started. It wasn't until she felt his hand on hers that she looked up at him. "First... umm wow," he blinked and shook his head to clear it, "second, I want to talk with Gabi and you both. I am not saying yes, because this is just odd, but I'm not saying no either. I won't lie to you Jade, you're a beautiful woman and to say I have never thought of you like that would be a lie, because I'm a guy, and someone who has seen you develop into the woman you are right now. You're hot, but I also know once this happens, nothing will be the same, especially between you and I, and probably even Gabi, too. I don't know if I am willing to risk our friendship for it." Jade nodded her head. "I understand. I didn't expect, nor do I need an answer today. I don't even know when I want to do it, but I know I want it to be you." She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think you'll lose our friendship. I'm not asking you to love me, just," she thought a moment, "fuck sounds like the wrong word, but make love doesn't sound right either." "We don't need a word," Mike said and then squeezed her fingers. "How about you and Gabi come over tonight and I'll cook you dinner. We can discuss this together. I'm still not saying yes, but I think I understand what you're looking for and why you're doing it." Jade reached out and hugged her friend and co-worker. "Thank you," she whispered and then kissed his cheek. "Even if you say no, I still feel you were the one to ask. We'll see you tonight. Around six?" "Yeah, that'll work," he answered. "Great," she replied and quickly headed back to work. Her shoulders felt lighter and her mind seemed to be able to focus on the rest of her day. It wasn't until she was clocking out that she started to become nervous again, fearful that she was jeopardizing everything she and Gabriella had.