50 comments/ 100273 views/ 28 favorites Always On My Mind By: CarterCounty Copyright April/2011 Another tale of a troubled marriage. There are no descriptive sex scenes in my work, but I hope you'll read and enjoy my story anyway. If you like or even dislike this tale please make comments or send emails concerning your feeling about my work. Constructive critiques, comments, and emails are welcome and I appreciate you taking the time to make them. ********** Something is wrong. I can feel it, sense it or whatever you want to call it but there is a problem. A problem that could end my marriage, if I don't take action. I'm Jerrod Wesley Jackson, JW to everyone but my mother and father. When either of them used my full name, I knew I had stepped over the line. I heard a lot of Jerrod Wesley Jackson in loud tones from my parents growing up. As a youngster I was very good at leaping over that imaginary line of what some called civil conduct. Nothing really bad just a boy and later a young man that pushed boundaries. At least it was never boring growing up for me or for those around me. My wife, Cheryl, and met in a sort of strange way. She backed into my truck leaving a parking space in Home Depot's parking lot. She was very apologetic when she got out to survey the damage. I had planned to rip a new one for the jerk that hit my pride and joy but the words stuck in my throat when I saw Cheryl. Neither Cheryl nor I are one of what you would call one of "the beautiful people." She's attractive with reddish blond hair, freckles across her nose and big green eyes. Cheryl was the stereotypical 'girl next door" wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. Her hair was in a pony tail and hung down between her shoulders. That smile and those eyes are what pushed my angry words back down my throat. When Cheryl looked at me and started to apologize, her eyes were like what some people call "puppy dog eyes". That stopped me right there. How can I terrorize someone with puppy dog eyes and a great smile, I thought? "Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Please let me...." Cheryl stammered and stuttered as I examined the damage to my truck. "Take it easy Miss," I said interrupting her. "No one's hurt and no great damage, just a little paint knocked off." In fact, other than a line of paint on my metal bumper, I couldn't see any damage. My truck is an older model Ford that I use for odd jobs around my house or to go hunting and fishing or just to knock around in. Most of the damage was to her molded plastic bumper. There was a long scrape along the passenger side with a strip of paint missing. "Let me give you my name, phone number and insurance data," Cheryl offered and began writing on a business card. "That's my agent's card and I put my information, including my driver's license number, on the back. Is there anything else I can do?" She asked. I'm not the smoothest with the ladies. I wasn't a monk but I wasn't a player either. At 5' 10 with dark hair and eyes I was about as average as you could get. Usually I dated two or three times a month but didn't have a steady girlfriend or anyone I wanted to upgrade to that position. I may have not been a Romeo but I'm not totally dumb either. "Let me buy you a cup of coffee and we'll call it square," I answered. Her great smile went right to those incredible eyes and they beamed at me. "Don't you think we should introduce ourselves before we start dating?" Holding up the card she'd given me I said, "I already know your name. I'm J.W., J.W. Jackson." That first date, if that's what you call it, led to many more. Our romance wasn't special to anyone but us. We did all the usual things but most importantly we got to know each other. Cheryl likes country music and classic rock and roll; me too. She liked sports but wasn't a fanatic about them; me too. We both like the outdoors; a great weekend was camping at a nearby stream. When my folks met Cheryl, my Dad pulled me aside. "You always were a lucky son of a gun, don't screw this up. Ya hear?" I didn't screw it up and we got married about a year after we met. By year seven we had two kids and the perfect marriage, at least in my mind. Just after our seventh anniversary the atmosphere around our house changed. As I mentioned earlier, something wasn't right. Cheryl worked for an accounting firm. The owners, Bill and Mary Stanton, didn't sit back and wait for the business to come to them. They established a sales department and went looking for business. Because of Cheryl's knowledge and her easy way with people, Bill and Mary offered her the job of head of the sales department. That's when the "trouble" at home started. I was working too and was putting in a lot of hours myself. We wanted a bigger house and put in all the overtime I could get. There was plenty of overtime available as the construction company I worked for was in the middle of three large projects. That put more of a strain on Cheryl. She had to be a wife, a mother, and the department head too. At first I thought it was the stress of these duties she had that caused her to sometimes be distracted at home. I cut back on my hours a little and tried to be of more help around our house. Helping to take care of our two kids, like picking them up from day care and doing more of the normal stuff around home gave her a little down time. I even made it a point to come home early once a week so Cheryl could do whatever she wanted for one night. About twice a month she would stop for a drink after work with her friends. Cheryl was always home by 8 so she could say good night to our children. Cheryl began to smile a little more and her time with the kids wasn't so hurried and she could enjoy them. Her improved attitude didn't seem to extend to me. Our love life had wound down somewhat from our carefree childless days but that was to be expected. When we did find or make the time, it was still passionate and more than satisfying. We just didn't make love often enough in my mind. John Wilkins, a friend of mine since the second grade, gave me a call on a Thursday. He wanted to get together for a beer or two on Friday about 3 after I got off work. My parents were picking up the kids and would take them for the weekend. Cheryl didn't get off until around 5, so after checking with her I called John back and agreed to meet him at a local watering hole. He was sitting at the bar as I walked in. John smiled and nodded toward a booth against the back wall. We sat down and the waitress brought over two beers and two shots of bourbon to go with them. "Hey, I don't want to get too heavy here," I said with a grin. "I need to be at least semi concisions when I go home." "J. W. drink the shot," John ordered. "You're gonna need it." I could see the serious look on his face. Knocking back the bourbon I took a big drink of the beer. "What the hell is going on John?" "I met a gal couple of weeks ago and on our first date she mentioned that she works at Stanton's." Not knowing where this was going I said, "Maybe she knows Cheryl." John frowned and continued, "I told Sally that a friend of mine has a wife working there and asked if she knew Cheryl Jackson. She said she did but that she didn't know that they were married." "What do you mean, they?" "I knew you didn't know Sally and I asked her what she meant." John drank his shot, got the waitress's attention and ordered two more. "She told me that Cheryl and a guy named Gary Stewart spent a lot of time together. Sally said they go to lunch two or three times a week. She also told me that Gary was in the group that stopped after work for a drink but he only showed up when Cheryl did." I knocked back the second bourbon and finished my beer. John started to order another round but I'd had enough. I needed a clear head. John said, "Sally said she was surprised that Cheryl and Gary were married because he had a reputation around the company as a lady's man. A big time player is what she called him." "Son of a bitch," I said. This is why Cheryl's so distant with me, I thought. This is why she seems distracted at home. I knew that if Cheryl was cheating our marriage was toast. I'm not the deepest thinker or most profound guy but I didn't care why only that she did. Only that she had. "What's this Gary look like?" I asked barely containing my anger. "Big guy, 6' 3 or 4. Sally says he's sorta good looking but kinda slick, if you know what I mean? You know him?" "Yeah, or I should say I met him once. It was at a Christmas party at the Stanton's house." I had a grim smile on my face. "I knew I didn't like the asshole for some reason." "Look JW, from what Sally told me, they haven't done anything besides having lunch and a couple of drinks together with the rest of the crowd," John added. "Sally said that they didn't take long extended lunches and didn't leave together when they met at the bar. She said they didn't even dance with each other. When Stewart asked Cheryl she always turned him down. Maybe Sally's misreading the situation. She's only been at Stanton's a couple of months." "Maybe," I replied. "But if something isn't going on it will be if this keeps up. What's the name of the bar the group stops at?" "Place called The Office just down the block from Cheryl's building. What are you going to do buddy?" "I don't know just yet," I answered. "But I guarantee this little romance is going to stop or I'll be gone." "You should talk to Cheryl before you make a hard core decision," John warned. "Don't do anything stupid JW. "I won't promise anything right now. It depends on how serious Cheryl is about this guy." I stood up and said, "Thanks for the heads up buddy." "Sorry as hell to be the one to tell you." "I appreciate you having my back. Talk to you later," I said and left the bar. It's good to have friends. On the way home my mind was going in circles. Several thoughts bounced around in my head. I'd throw her ass out into the street, I thought. I'd pack a bag and leave. Let Cheryl try making it without me. I'd make sure all our friends and families knew what she was doing. I'd sue the Stanton's for letting this little romance go on. As I pulled into my driveway, for some reason, I calmed down. Walking into the house, I made up my mind. I decided to be as cool as I could be until I found out what was really going on. Over the weekend and on Monday I tried to act as normal as possible. I guess I didn't do such a good job. Saturday evening and then twice on Sunday Cheryl asked me if something was wrong. Was I alright? "You're being very quiet." "I've got a lot on my mind Honey," I replied. "Anything I can help with?" Cheryl asked. "Maybe later," I answered. "I think you can help solve my problems later." She gave me a funny look but didn't say anymore. Monday evening Cheryl said, "I'm going to stop for a drink on Wednesday after work. Unless you need me to stay home and help with whatever was bothering you over the weekend." "Sure Honey, you need to relax a little," I replied. "I'll work out my problem pretty quick here." My first thought was to get our next door neighbor to watch the kids for a couple of hours so I could follow Cheryl. I thought about catching her in the act and interrupting their little meeting. Cheryl and I had been to The Office a few times so I knew the layout. If you were careful you could watch the people around the small dance floor without being seen. I decided not to spy on Cheryl; I refused to be the cliché of a husband following his wife to catch her and her boyfriend. And if I saw them together I wasn't sure how I'd react. Normally I'm level headed and easy to deal with but this wasn't a normal situation. If Cheryl was doing something wrong and I confronted her, she would probably stop seeing this asshole Gary. She would stop because I caught her; but I needed her to stop because she loved me. Cheryl was home by 7:30 on Wednesday. She came into the family room and kissed me hello but she seemed agitated or angry or I don't know, maybe embarrassed. "I just put the kids to bed about three minutes ago," I told her. "I don't think they're asleep yet if you want to say goodnight." She nodded and started toward the bedrooms. "If you're not too tired I'd like to talk to you afterwards," I requested trying not to let my emotions show. "I think you can help me with my problem now." "I'll be right back," she replied with a smile. I made her some tea and got a beer for myself. Cheryl came back into the family room and sat on the sofa close to me. I studied her for a few seconds trying to see any hints or signs that she was cheating on me. Either she wasn't cheating or she was a great actress; I couldn't see anything. "Cheryl, are you happy?" I asked. "What?" She asked in a shocked voice. "Are you happy with your, our, life," I repeated. "Lately you seem so distracted and distant and half the time you act like you don't want to be here. You act like you don't want to be with me. Cheryl was staring at me with a look I couldn't decipher. Was that guilt I saw? Was it regret? I didn't know. "Look I know your new job is stressful and maybe the last thing you want to do is play Mom and wife when you come home. But your attitude bothers me. I feel like we're drifting right now and I'm afraid that we're going to drift apart." I could see tears beginning to form but continued. "Maybe I don't treat you as good as I should. Maybe I should spend more time holding and loving you instead of working all those extra hours. Maybe I haven't told you often enough that I'm so happy that you're mine. But you are always on my mind." I took her hand and looked into her eyes. "Every time things go wrong at work, I say to myself that I'm doing this for Cheryl and our children. If things go good, I still think about you. Like I said, you're always on my mind." Cheryl had tears sliding down her cheeks. She almost sobbed, moved over to sit on my lap. Her arms went around my neck and she put her head on my shoulder. I could feel her crying so I held her until she calmed down. "You are the most important thing in the world to me. You and the kids." You're not second best to my job or anything else. If I've treated you badly I'm really sorry." I stopped for several seconds. "Honey, I love you. "Come back to us, come back to me." "Oh, Jerrod. I've been such an idiot." She pulled her head back and looked at me. "I let the stress of everything almost make me do something stupid." "What did you almost do?" "Let me go to the bathroom," she said as she stood, "and get some more tea. I've got some explaining to do." She returned shortly with her tea and handed me another beer sitting next to me on the sofa again. "You're right the new job is very stressful, maybe too stressful," Cheryl admitted. "But like you said, I think about you and the children and keep on pushing. Sometime when I come home I sometimes feel like it's just too much. Being a mom and a wife and head of the sales department drags me down and then I get mad at myself for feeling that way. That's why I seem distant sometimes." She stopped and used a tissue to dry her tears. "I got to talking, venting I guess you'd say, to Gary Stewart at work. He has the same pressures in his department and I thought he would understand. We had lunch together a couple of times and it became a weekly thing. In fact we started having lunch two, sometimes three, times a week." Cheryl next words were angry. "Gary started showing up when the girls and I stopped after work." She shook her head. "I didn't realize until tonight how he'd been playing me. That son of a bitch," she said. "He used my frustrations to try and get close to me. And tonight he suggested that we could help relieve the stress of our jobs by going to bed together." Her statement made me sit up straighter. Cheryl hugged me again. "Don't worry, I shut him down," she said with an evil little grin. "He was leaning in close when he made his suggestion and sat back with a smug look on his face, waiting for me to agree. I guess when I poured my drink in his lap he understood how I felt." Cheryl giggled and added, "When he stood up yelling about the drink, I slapped him and came home." The smile left her face and she looked unhappy again. "I swear to you Jerrod other than talking to Gary instead of you, I didn't do anything wrong. I never danced with him when he asked. When he suggested we go out to dinner, just as friends he said, I turned him down." Cheryl stopped, waiting for my reaction. Nodding my head I pulled her into my arms. I didn't mention John's girlfriend. But Cheryl wasn't done yet. She pulled back and said, "I'll do my best not to let the job bother me again. I'll remember what I have at home and try not to be so distant to you and our babies. I'll talk to you if everything starts to build up again." Cheryl hesitated and then said, "But you have to make some changes too. You need to talk to me too if some things bothering you. I know you're working extra hours so we can get a bigger house. I'm afraid if we keep going this way there won't be a family to live in it. I'd rather have you and our family than a new house." We spent the rest of the evening talking and reconnecting. Most of it was done in the privacy of our bedroom behind a closed door. I was more than a little tired when I left for the construction site in the morning. But I had a big smile on my face all day long. ********** Two weeks later Cheryl came home from an evening with people from work. As usual she was home by 8 but this time she seemed upset. I waited until she said good night to the kids and then confronted her. "Okay, give," I ordered. "What?" "Talk to me. Tell me why you're upset." I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Remember we promised to talk to each other when something was bothering us. So talk to me." Cheryl nodded. "Bathroom first, then tea and a beer okay?" A few minutes later she handed me a beer. "Gary has been asking me to lunch almost every day for the last two weeks." I frowned and started to respond but she held up her hand to stop me. "I told him that I didn't want to go. I told him it might cause problems with my marriage." She took a sip of her tea, stared at the fireplace for several seconds and continued. "At first he would say something like, maybe another time. But when I told him you wouldn't like me going to lunch with him, he asked if you told me what I could and couldn't do. I started to tee off on him but he smiled and said, just kidding and walked away." "Why don't you talk to Bill and Mary?" I suggested. "This sounds like sexual harassment to me." "I did talk to Mary. She said harassment would be hard to prove since I'd been going to lunch with him several times a week. Mary said she would have Bill talk to Gary, unofficially, and ask him to stop." "So what did this jerk have to say about Bill talking to him?" She looked at me surprised that I had an idea of what happened. "It's pretty obvious that something happened tonight to set you off. I figured it could only be Gary." "You're smarter than you look, aren't you?" Cheryl said with a big grin. "I didn't go out last week and the girls told me Gary didn't show up either. This week I was at the bar for less than 30 minutes when he came in. He walked over to our table and sat down. Other than nodding at me he didn't say anything. He waited until the others were away from the table before he spoke." "And what did the asshole have to say for himself?" "Before I tell you, I want you to promise that you won't do anything, okay?" Cheryl put her hand on my arm and repeated, "Promise me." I looked at her for a few seconds and nodded my head. "Gary asked if you were so insecure that you had to run to Bill to try and keep your woman," Cheryl told me. She held up her hand again when I started to talk. "I told him that I was the one that had talked to Mary because he wouldn't leave me alone. Gary stood up leaned down close to me and said, Bitch, and walked out." Always On My Mind I was steaming and she could see it. "Remember, you promised," she reminded me. Then she giggled and said, "The reason I'm so mad is I didn't get a chance to slap the hell out of him." Looking at Cheryl I could see a little smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. I grabbed her and pulled her onto my lap and started laughing. Let's just say we were both very tired the next day. Our weekend was even better; we packed the kids off to my parents and seldom got out of the bedroom except to shower and eat. Saturday evening, actually Sunday morning about 1 AM we fed each other strawberries dipped in chocolate sitting on and at the kitchen table. We didn't have on anything but a smile. Great weekend. I asked Cheryl, almost every day, if Gary had said anymore to her. "No, he hasn't. He just gives me a smirk and raises his eyebrows up and down. But he hasn't said a word to me," she replied. "I can handle his smirks okay." ********** I consider myself to be an honorable man. If I give someone my word, I keep it. However, there's always a however, I broke my promise to Cheryl. I had a talk with Mr. Gary Stewart. We discussed the situation like gentlemen and he agreed to stop his little games concerning Cheryl. What actually happened was I went to see Stewart at his apartment the next Saturday. Cheryl and my Mom were taking the kids to a school carnival and I told her I could amuse myself for two or three hours. After Cheryl and the kids left, I made my preparations and drove to Stewart's apartment. I used the service elevator in the rear of building. No one saw me. I was dressed in a work shirt, jeans, and a ball cap pulled down over my eyes. If anyone did see me they wouldn't recognize me and I could claim I hadn't been there. Plausible deniability is what the politicians call it. Gary was almost shocked when he opened his door to see me standing there. "Hi Gary, can we talk for a minute?" I asked with a phony smile. "Don't have anything to say to you Jackson," he answered and started to close the door. I put my shoulder against the door and pushed. It caught Gary off balance and he stepped back into his apartment. "Well I've got something to say to you Stewart." I closed the door behind me as I entered his place. "I want you to leave Cheryl alone. No more cheesy grins or smiles and no more messing with her mind. Do that and we won't have a problem." "Why should I stop? That bitch reported me to the Stanton's and caused me a lot of trouble. I'll continue to screw with her. Who knows I may just use the "I'm so sorry" attitude and get close to her again," he said with a grin. "And this time I won't stop with a few lunches. I know she's mad right now but that will pass. It won't be long before she's coming to me." I knew this wouldn't be easy, I thought as my anger started to build. Clenching my fists I said, "Guess it's gonna have to be plan B." Gary saw my fists and the anger in my face. "What plan B little man? "If you won't listen to reason, I'll have to use another way to make you leave us alone." "Be careful now," he said with a laugh. "If you're not man enough to keep your wife what makes you think you're man enough to handle me?" "You're a miserable piece of crap Stewart. And I'll see to it that you will leave Cheryl alone, one way or another." I stared at him in defiance. My friend John had it right; Stewart was about 6'4. He was not only tall but he had a big body. Must weigh close to 250, I thought. "I've had enough of you little man," Gary said. "Get out or I'll throw you out." He took two quick steps and hit me with a big fist. As I staggered backward he hit me again. I put a hand on the wall and caught myself and kept from going down. When Stewart picked up a big brass table lamp, I guess he was going to beat my head in with it, so I made my move. I kicked him in the knee with the steel toed work boots I'd put on before I left home. A straight right hand to his nose made him take a few steps backwards. Damn he was tall, I thought. I had to reach up to hit him. When he recovered and started toward me again, I pulled a Colt 1911 .45 cal pistol. Another thing I'd grabbed before I left home. I'd carried it in the small of my back, under my belt, and covered with my jacket. Stewart stopped when he saw the Colt. He looked at the barrel of the pistol, then at my face and then back to the pistol. Gary wasn't sure that I wouldn't shoot him. I could see it in his eyes as he looked from me to the gun and back several times. I had to hand it to him, he had courage or maybe it was stupidity. He said, "You don't have the guts to shoot me." "I've never understood why people think it takes courage to face a man barehanded when he's six inches taller and 60 to 70 pounds heavier than you," I told him as I waved him to a chair with the barrel of the 45. He sat down and I added, "To me it's not courage it's just plain dumb. You know? I guess we'll find out won't we," I continued giving him a hard look. He was sitting in a wooden Captain's chair with wide thick legs. I put a round into the chair leg right next to Stewart's leg. "You or the chair," I told him. "Don't make much difference to me." "You'll go to jail for this," he threatened. "No I won't. I wasn't even here. It's your word against mine." Stewart got a little smile on his face as if he knew a secret. I guess he thought the police would check me for gunshot residue when he reported me. I knew what he was thinking and I had made preparations. "One last time, just so you understand," I said. "Pay attention big man. Leave Cheryl alone. Don't talk to her, don't walk by her desk, and don't smile at her. If she's in the bar when you walk in, leave. If you're in the bar and she comes in, leave. If she's in the elevator up to your offices, wait for the next one. You won't like the alternative if you don't." I put round into the other chair leg. "Next time it will be you and I won't bother shooting at your legs." I paused for several seconds and stared him in the eye. "You understand my meaning big man? I'll put you down like a rabid dog if you bother Cheryl again." Leaving the apartment building I again used the service elevator and didn't see one person. I figured I had about two hours before the police showed up. Stewart is calling them right now, I thought. But I'd made preparations for that too. I was wrong. It took the police closer to three hours to track me down. They found me at my friend John's place of business. He owns and manages a gun club. The club has an indoor range and rents shooting bays by the hour. If you rent a bay, they stamp a time card when you start and again when you finish. "Mr. Jackson, we'd like a word with you please," requested one of the two officers. He was the older of the two, probably about 40. The younger one is training with a veteran, I thought. "Okay, let me safe my gun first." I ejected the clip, worked the action to clear the barrel and locked the slide open. "What can I do for you Officer?" "Let's step out of the shooting area so we can hear each other, shall we?" I left the now empty Colt on the shooting bench and followed them out. When the door closed behind us it shut off the noise of the gunfire. The older policeman looked at me and I waited for him to speak. I'm sure he was trying to see if I was nervous or acted guilty. "I'm Sgt. Riley, this is Officer Stone." I nodded at the introduction but didn't say anything. "Do you know a Gary Stewart?" "Yeah, I know him. Can't say I think much of him but I know him. Why?" "Bear with me for a minute please. When was the last time you saw Mr. Stewart?" Sgt. Riley was watching me closely. I looked up at the ceiling as if I was trying to remember. "Guess it was at the Stanton's Christmas party a few months ago. Why?" The Sgt. started to ask another question but I interrupted. "Sgt. Riley, why the questions about Stewart? Maybe I should get a lawyer before I answer any more questions." The officer sighed, gave me a little smile and answered, "By all means if you think you need an attorney we can take you down to the station and wait for him before questioning you." He paused to see my reaction to his threat and continued, "Mr. Stewart has filed a complaint against you. He said you came to his apartment today, beat him up, and threatened to shoot him. He said you fired your pistol twice," Sgt. Riley pointed back toward the Colt on the bench. "Why would I do something like that? I asked. "Mr. Stewart said that your wife and he were good friends and that you didn't like the attention your wife gave him. He said you warned him to leave your wife alone and threatened to kill him if he didn't. Do you know anything about that?" "There was an incident between Stewart and my wife. She was uncomfortable with his invitation to dinner and spoke to Bill Stanton about it. From what she told me, Bill had a talk with Stewart and everything was now fine. That's all I know." I looked at Riley and added, "Sgt. Riley, did you see the size of Stewart? He's got to be 6'3 or 4. Do you really think a guy my size could beat on him?" I smiled as if I thought the idea was funny. "What time did this shooting and beating take place?" Riley checked a small notebook. "Mr. Stewart said you came to his place at 9:00. He was sure of the time because he'd just reset his kitchen clock. Would you tell us where you've been this morning?" The Sgt. was smooth. A lot of people got themselves in trouble by talking too much. Me, I had it covered. "My wife and my mother took our kids to a school carnival. They left about 8 and I was got here about 8:15 I guess. We can check the time card on for the exact time I started shooting. I talked to the scheduler for a few minutes but it was about 8:30 when I started." I called out to Jerry the scheduler, "Hey Jerry, bring my card over here will you please? He brought me the card and I handed it to Sgt. Riley after glancing at it. "I was wrong; I started shooting at 8:25." Riley looked at the time stamp and made a notation in his book. "How long have you been a member of the gun club Mr. Jackson?" "Ever since it opened I guess you could say. I helped John build the shooting bays when he bought the building and started the business." "So you and Mr. Wilkins have been friends for a couple of years?" Riley asked. "No, we've been friends since the second grade," I answered. John came out of his office and joined us. "I'm John Wilkins. I own the place. Is there a problem about the club Officer?" "No Mr. Wilkins," Riley answered. "We were just asking Mr. Jackson a few questions." "I told you you'd get in trouble if you didn't pay those parking tickets J W," John teased. The younger officer sort of perked up and John added, "Just kidding son, just kidding." Turning back to Riley he said, "If you need me I'll be in my office Sgt." Riley watched John walk away. He looked back and forth between John and me. Shaking his head he put his notebook away. "You know, I had something like what happened with your wife happen to me early in my marriage." I wondered where he was going but didn't ask. "You work a crazy schedule when you're a patrolman and I was away from home at weird times. My wife became friends with a guy she worked with and he stepped over the line. I had a talk with him and solved the problem." Riley smiled. "I guess between the badge, the gun, and the uniform he got the message. He never bothered my wife again." Damn, Riley knows exactly what happened, I thought. "Mr. Jackson, if you have a problem with Mr. Stewart, I suggest you contact the police or an attorney," he told me. "Don't take matters into your own hands again." He held up his hand when I started to object. "I'm pretty sure what happened this morning but I can't prove it and I'm pretty sure if we test fired your .45 it wouldn't match the slugs we pulled out of the wall behind Mr. Stewart's chair. To be honest I don't know if I want to prove it. So take this as a warning. Okay?" "Thanks Sgt. Riley," I replied. If I have any problems with Stewart I'll contact an attorney." As they walked away I heard Sgt. Riley say to the young patrol office, "No it wouldn't do any good to test him for gunshot residue Stone. We saw him shooting his pistol when we came in so of course he'd test positive for residue. You've got to use some common sense to go along with what you learned in the Academy son." Of course John had timed stamped a card for me. I know it was John because I've never used a time card. I shoot for free. It's good to have a friend who also shoots a Colt 1911and let me borrow it for a morning. I'll clean it before I return it to him. It's the least I can do. ********** Monday evening Cheryl said, "Gary has stopped coming by my desk. He seems to be avoiding me. But every time we meet in the hall or the elevator he gives me a look that could kill." She looked thoughtfully at me. "Did you say something to Gary?" "Not me. You asked me to stay out of it so that's what I did." I guess Bill's talk with him had some effect after all." "Yeah, it sure does," I replied chuckling to myself. She asked if I thought she should go to the bar with her friends as usual. I told her to go and enjoy herself. On Wednesday, I was almost home and thinking about where I would stop for dinner. Cheryl would be late that evening because she was stopping at The Office. Why not meet her, the kids are with my folks, I thought. They serve a great cheeseburger. Besides I never needed an excuse to spend time with my wife. Turning my truck around I headed back downtown. As I walked into The Office I looked for Cheryl and her friends. They weren't there yet so I went to the bar and got a beer. Gary Stewart was sitting at the other end of the bar nursing a drink. When he saw me he got nervous. I smiled and gave him a little wave. "Hi Honey," Cheryl called as she and her friends entered. Her friends went on to get a table while Cheryl walked over to me and gave me a kiss and a hug. "This is a nice surprise. C'mon I want to show you off to my friends." As I turned I saw Gary leave by the back door in a hurry. I was a happy man that evening. My wife was sitting next to me; I had a huge cheeseburger, and a cold beer to drink. As I said I was a happy man. The next day Cheryl came home as happy as I've seen her in a while. "Strangest thing happened today at work," she said after she kissed me hello. "What? Did Bill decide that you deserve a 100 percent raise?" "No silly." She was still smiling and said, "Gary Stewart quit today. He just walked into Bill's office and quit. He didn't give a notice or anything. Just said that he was leaving for personal reasons." "Maybe he decided that another city would be healthier for him," I offered. I couldn't hide the evil little grin. Always On My Mind What day is it?" the man asked in passable Spanish. "Sabado," the young boy cleaning his windshield said with a laugh. Saturday. Lee had been on the road for 7 days if his hung over brain was working correctly. The week was a blur of driving and drinking himself into a stupor nightly. Lee had been traveling alone and well off the tourist path. The whole self-destruction thing had started three years earlier. At a partners birthday party Lee announced to his friends and long-time girlfriend, he was retiring from the business for good this time. He was not getting any younger and had achieved his goals. "Time to quit and enjoy the fruits of my labor," he had told them all. His partners and friends took the news well and wished him well but he didn't get the reaction from Sandy, his girlfriend that he had hoped for. Their relationship was crumbling and Lee thought getting out of the business was what both of them needed to reconnect on the level they had been before. She became distant and began to drink heavily the remainder of the evening. The next afternoon when she woke up she found Lee eating lunch in the kitchen. She sat down and told him everything... Lee dismissed the memory as he walked into the little store to pay for his gas. It was 9:00 AM but the heat was stifling already with a hot humid breeze blowing off the Gulf of Mexico. He walked to the coolers in the back and almost reached for a few bottles of beer before he saw his reflection in the dirty glass. He looked haggard and strung out. He chose a few cans of coke instead, holding the cold cans against his forehead as he went to the counter to pay. "Buenos Dias Senor," the smiling man behind the counter said. "Good morning," Lee replied. As he paid he had a Q & A with the store owner. He learned he was about 800 miles from Yucatan his final destination, further than he remembered. When he inquired about a decent hotel, he was told up the highway around twenty miles was a small village with a nice beach and a simple but clean hotel. Lee thanked the man and walked out into the blazing heat to his old, but very reliable Pathfinder SUV. He handed the small boy a dollar for cleaning his windows, he got in and got back on the empty highway. Heading east, the sea to his left and scrub land to his right, he drove on auto pilot. He felt terrible, the drinking was catching up on him. He should stop, pull himself together and start to feel again. Lee was not on a time table and he decided to dry out, take a shower and sleep. He slowed the SUV when he saw the sun bleached sign that said Madero. It wasn't much of a village as far as he could tell, a gas station and a small church and some small shops. More a fishing village, he thought to himself, as he looked for the hotel the shop keeper had told him about. Lee soon found the seaside hotel. It was a welcome sight. Walking inside, the place seemed cool compared to outside. He patiently waited as the old woman behind the counter held up a finger as she watched a Venezuelan soap opera on the small TV on her desk. When the show finally went to a commercial break she turned and smiled. "Buenos Dias senor! How can I help you?" He checked in and he dropped his travel bags on the floor of his room. He went for the air conditioner and turned it on. It hummed to life and he felt cool air coming from the vents. Next he examined the bed pushing on the mattress. "Not bad," he thought. He stripped off his clothes and turned on the shower. The water was warm but not hot. He relished the shower as he washed the travel dust and sweat off his tired body. Refreshed, he lay on the bed in a towel. Lee picked up his phone and looked at some photos. As the slide show ran, he reminded himself he was looking at his past life and nothing would change that. Fatigue over took him so he closed the phone and drifted off into a deep long sleep. The next afternoon, well rested and his batteries recharged, Lee decided to take a walk on the beach and get his bearings. He was lost in thought as he walked along the beach. The sound of loud music brought him back to earth. He looked up, he could see what appeared to be a bar. As he got closer he recognized the song playing, "Honey Hush" by Johnny Burnette. The bar was a shabby old structure open to the air with a thatched roof and huge deck facing the sea. The smell of grilled steak made his stomach growl. Taking off his shades, his eyes adjusted to the roomy bar. The place was empty save for two guys in baseball caps having an animated discussion with the stunning but mature looking blonde tending bar. All three were Americans which pleasantly surprised Lee. He sat down on a stool as the blonde approached and said "You're early." "Excuse me?" Lee said puzzled. "The buffet. We won't be ready for about another 20 minutes. Want a drink while you wait?" She grinned. "Hmmmm, I think something none alcoholic till I get some food in me. A Pepsi, Coke, whatever," Lee answered. "Wise choice you two could learn something from?" she smiled and directed her comment to the other patrons. She paused and looked questioningly at Lee again. He knew she was asking his name. "Lee," he offered his hand, "How did you know I'm hungry?" He added. "All the Gringos eat here, I'm Charlene but call me Charlie and these two vagabonds of the western world are Tim and Wes," she said her southern accent showing a bit. They all shook hands and Tim handed Lee a card that said "SIRENS FISHING CHARTERS." "Lee, see if you can settle the argument for us, who is better Elvis Presley or Johnny Burnette?" Tim asked sipping his Carta Blanca Beer. Lee pondered for a moment then spoke "Well for pure stage presence you have to say Elvis but Johnny had the songs, Train kept a rollin, Rockabilly Boogie, Honey Hush." As he was speaking he noticed the wall behind the bar was covered with Elvis Photos and memorabilia including two large velvet Elvis paintings. "So I'm gonna have to say Johnny," Lee concluded Tim nodded in satisfaction, Wes sighed and said, "He should have never made those movies, he lost his edge." Charlie glared at Lee in comic anger hands on hips head cocked, "You are on dangerous ground Mr Lee. I am an Elvis Devotee and will toss your sorry ass out of here, hungry or not, if you say unkind things about The King." Lee held up his bottle of coke in a toast, "To the King" "To the King," the others repeated clinking bottles. Lee liked these people immediately. An hour later, enjoying his first hearty meal in over a week, he got to know his new friends. They exchanged life stories. Wes and Tim were retired Navy Officers who had done their 20 years and pensioned out and living out here made sense. It went without saying, U.S. money went a long way in Mexico and you could live quite well on a limited income. When it was his turn, Lee was brief. Lee and his two partners had ran a very successful company who designed software for the telecommunication industry, then his planned retirement, then that afternoon 3 years ago. THREE YEARS EARLIER Sandy sat down across from Lee, her eyes full of tears. He knew something bad was coming but had not expected this. "Lee I am sick, and I am not going to get better," Sandy blurted it out. The next 3 months had been a wide awake nightmare as Sandy faded fast, and all Lee could do was try and make her last days on earth as pleasant as possible. On the night she passed, in her last lucid moment she spoke to him. "Lee, you remember Yucatan?" Sandy said softly with closed eyes and a faint, weak smile. "How could I forget? That's where I met you baby," Lee squeezed her hand gently. "Well, that's where I want to be, counting shooting stars." Sandy sighed. After her passing, Lee tried to maintain and carry on in life but he felt cheated. He had worked hard and was financially set up for the rest of his life, and still young enough to really enjoy it. But now he was alone and grew bitter and cynical. He missed Sandy. She was everything to him. He loved her so much. It was unfair life was cut so short for her. His friends grew alarmed at his behavior. Lee was drinking heavily, and hanging out with unsavory people. After a failed intervention Lee's old friends and family wrote him off as a lost cause. The next two years were an endless cycle of binging on drugs and booze. Then he would sober up and stay clean for a month, then the demons and self-pity would return. It was in one of these sober moments that he remembered something. He opened the closet and looked at the urn, Sandy's ashes. It was time to do what he had promised her. "So that is why I am here and where I am going," Lee said sipping his second beer of the evening. Charlie listened to Lee's story and she could almost feel his grief and anger. Charlie had heard many stories at her bar and was good at sorting fact from fiction. Lee was telling them the truth. The four of them sat in silence for a moment then Lee spoke again. "Hey, I'm sorry, didn't mean to bum you all out," he apologized. Lee's new acquaintances assured him it was ok "Life can be a real mean bitch." Wes said with a sigh "Amen to that. Charlie, shots of your finest tequila!" Tim added "Cut me off after one shot. For once in a long time, I want to remember this evening," Lee said to Charlie with an apologetic smile. They chatted and laughed, all completely comfortable in each other's company. Lee liked his new friends. Then he excused himself to pop to the men's room. Lee stood in front of the sink in the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. Something was happening to him. He just didn't realize what. Then it slowly dawned on him, he was actually feeling happy for the first time in years. The thought gave him hope, another feeling that had been rare, these last couple of years. Lee returned and pushed open the door to the sounds of the friendly bar. "Lee! Get your sorry Texan ass over here!" Wes yelled signalling Lee to come to the Juke box. This was Lee's kind of place. A laid back crowd of "retired" Americans, living cheap and enjoying life away from the rat race. And the juke box was the best he had encountered outside his home town of Austin, Texas. Charlie was breath of fresh air for Lee. He had spent a lot of the evening talking with her. She was friendly, good company and made him feel welcome, introducing Lee to everybody who stopped in. She even pulled him onto the dance floor to dance to a few rockabilly classics. "Hey Lee do me a favor?" Wes asked, after they returned from one dance and Charlie went back behind the bar. "We have an early charter. Could you make sure Charlie gets home ok?" "She lives up the hill, walking distance." Tim added. "No Problem," Lee smiled. He liked that the two men looked out for her and that they trusted him enough to take care of her. They shook hands and man hugged each other like old friends. The men made Lee promise to come back to Modero on his return trip to do some fishing. A few hours later, after helping Charlie close the bar, Lee found himself walking side by side with this charming woman up a pebbled trail that lead to her small home overlooking the Gulf. "You never told me your story Charlie," Lee said in conversation. "Huh?" she replied "You know, what are you doing down here?" Lee asked. "Well," she stopped walking and took Lee's cigarette from his hand and took a deep drag and explained. Charlene grew up in a small Florida Farm town. A free spirit with a penchant for trouble, Charlie had left home and school at 17 and went to Miami. In a matter of weeks she was dancing with fake ID'S and making money she could only dream of. A few years later her manager introduced her to another client of his, an Adult film producer. One thing lead to another and Charlie made the move to California and became a rising star in the porno movie business. But the porn trade was fickle and stars fell faster than they rose. Luckily, Charlie was aware of this and saved her money and left the business still on top of her game. Charlie tried opening a restaurant in southern California but that failed as did a few relationships. When she hit 30 years old she gave up on the rat race and on a road trip with friends she found Madero. "I bought the Bar and have been here ever since." Charlie said, finishing her story. As they approached her small home, Charlie did something she had not done in a long time; she invited Lee in for a drink. The couple ended up on Charlie's back terrace, sitting on a Porch Swing with a blue and white checked overthrow. It looked out at the Gulf. The terrace had a small wall with a matching crazy paving floor with large terracotta pots holding pretty red and pink flowing plants which contrasted with the green leaves and stems. Other plants grew and overflowed on the walls. Big stone pillars supported wooden beams overhead. The beams were uncovered to the elements but vines grew along them giving some shade from the strong Mexican sun in the day. It was a beautiful setting. The sky was clear and full of stars and the night warm. They chatted for a while and sipped their drinks but Charlie was puzzled at Lee's behavior. Either he was a gentleman or he was not interested in her. She would not accept the latter so she leaned over and kissed him. She was pleased when he responded and eagerly kissed her back. Lee held her head, put his forehead to hers and whispered, "It's been a while for me." "Same here," Charlie responded. "No, I mean... Hell Charlie, I might go Caveman on you," Lee voiced his worries. Charlie smiled, "I'm not made of glass Tex." Lee chuckled. Then he pinned her under his body and kissed her soundly, leaving her in no doubt that he was very interested in her and in the morning she may well be tender and bare the marks of their time together. He tugged her blouse open when he felt her respond to him, neither of them caring when the buttons popped to the floor, nor when he undid the fastening of the bra and pushed it up to her neck to get to her luscious big boobs. His hands groped and squeezed them. She groaned at his rough handling especially when he bought them up to his mouth. He sucked hard on each nipple as he urgently forced her shorts and panties down and when free of her ankles, flung them to the floor. He spread her legs and heard her gasp as he moved down her body. He wedged his head between her thighs and kissed her beautifully shaved pussy. Using one hand, he felt her tits, the other move down to finger fuck her while his tongue teased her clitoris mercilessly. It had been awhile since he had drank from a woman and he was a thirsty man. Charlie writhed on the swing, spreading her legs for him in her turned on state. She was a sight, naked from the waist down, blouse torn open, bra up and around her neck, her breasts free to the open air with this fully clothed man doing the most intimate things to her. She was moaning and writhing like the porn star she was. Lee knew exactly what he was doing and was experienced enough to make sure, the woman under him knew it too. He sank his fingers inside her, going deep, making her ready for his throbbing cock, then curled them up to massage her G spot. She groaned and pushed onto his fingers. He growled into her clitoris as he felt her hands pulling on his hair to guide him to the way she liked it. She was as wanton and needy as him and this pleased him and confirmed, he hadn't lost his touch in pleasuring a woman. He teased her awhile, gaining confidence as she reacted so positively. Then he used both hands to spread her labia and looked at her sex. It was delightfully wet. He looked up at her and was pleased to see her eyes were shut. She was even kneading her own titties! The woman was no doubt in need of a good fucking. He unfastened his jeans and took out his erection and stroked himself over her while he felt her pussy and watched her play with her own tits. He was so turned on. Then he turned her over so her bottom was facing him. He deliberately placed her hands on the back of the swing so her tits hung down. He placed his dick at her vagina entrance and drove into her depths. His possession was hard and forceful and she groaned as his big cock spread her tight walls to accept him right up to the narrow neck of her womb. Then he used the swing to fuck her. She kept her balance holding the back of the seat. It was hot, urgent and what they both needed. Pure, unadulterated lust. His cock pistoned in and out of her as his fingers dug into her hips pulling her back and forth. She held on to the swing so the rhythm and her balance wasn't lost. It was fast and gloriously furious. He watched as her tits swayed and his cock claimed her tight channel. The sight and feelings built his desire till he felt his balls tighten. His orgasm neared. He didn't hold back, it had been far too long since he was sober enough to enjoy a good woman. Charlie felt him inside her, pushing in to her body. It was exhilarating to find a man she was so attracted to who wanted her as much as she wanted him. She liked he had positioned her the way he wanted her and wasn't afraid to let his lust for her show. She naturally liked to please her partner. She moaned at his deep penetration and again when his cock slid against her G spot. She liked how he fucked in abandon. He banged into her, watching his cock move in and out and how her cheeks rippled on each impact. He felt and spread her cheeks, letting his eyes devour her luscious intimate parts, felt her tight body sliding on his cock coating it with her womanly sheen. He could smell and feel her lust. He liked how she groaned, how she sounded. It was hot as hell. Lee let out a deep growl, withdrew from her and shot his semen over her bottom and back. The thick creamy liquid speckled her body. His legs shook with the strength of his orgasm as the copious amount of fluid scented and marked her as his. Charlie moaned in delight and felt him massage his cum into her skin. Then he picked her up and carried her inside. She told him where the bedroom was as he bent and let her close and bolt the blue wooden back door. He placed her on the bed and immediately opened her legs to kiss her pussy again. His goal was simple. He wanted her to orgasm over and over until she was exhausted and he would fuck her again in her semi-conscious state. His tongue and fingers worked in unison, teasing her clitoris and G spot and as she hit the crest of her orgasmic waves, he delved his finger into her anus to prolong her joyous gasps. She grasped and fisted the bedclothes while she thrashed and spasmed. He drank her creamy nectar and repeated the process all over again. She whimpered as he hit her over sensitized spots and treated her gently before tantalizing her elsewhere. He was going to make sure, she didn't forget their night together. He wanted to make sure, he too enjoyed the night to it's fullest. It was on her third orgasm, he mounted her in the missionary position and pushed his cock into her again. It turned him on, he had almost made her too exhausted to respond to him. She was helpless, his to fuck at will. He fucked her tired body over and over until he too was spent. Both fell into an exhausted sleep, content, happy and knackered in each other's arms. Lee awoke to the sound of sea birds greeting the new day. He rubbed his eyes and remembered Charlie was still sound asleep at his side. Slipping out of her bed quietly he put on his pants, found his shirt and sandals and crept into Charlie's kitchen. He peeked into her fridge, took a bottle of water and drank half of it and wandered out to the terrace. Always On My Mind Staring out at the Gulf Lee was suddenly filled with a storm of emotions. Happiness, sorrow, guilt and anger attacked him from all sides. Overwhelmed, Lee knew he had to leave and do what he had promised. His mind made up, his thoughts turned to Charlie still asleep inside. Lee noticed a patch of Marigolds growing on the side of the house. He used his pocket knife, found a nice bloom and cut it. He crept back to Charlie's bedroom and placed the flower on his pillow next to her sleeping head. With a last look, he let himself out the front and walked quickly down the path. His walk turned into a jog and he raced back to the hotel to check out and hit the road. Lee drove nonstop the whole 800 miles stopping only for fuel and a stretch. The closer he got the more anxious he became and by the time he parked the Pathfinder and made his way to the dark windy beach, Sandy's beach, he was light headed and nervous. Lee sat down with the urn next to him and looked out at the sea. For the next few hours Lee sat silent lost in happy memories of the past. At last, Lee began to speak out loud looking up at the stars. "Hey Sandy, well here we are. Yeah, I know I'm a few years late but this is so hard for me. I loved you so much and well, you know how I am about saying goodbye. It sounds so final." Warm tears streaked down his face and a lump lodged in his throat. He could hardly talk and was silent for a while feeling the strong emotions, trying to find the right words. "But it is time for me to say goodbye to you Sandy, I love you girl and always will. You will always occupy a special place in my heart and in my memory." He took a deep breath, choking a little on the words, "But it is time, Sandy." Lee began to stand up and open the urn. " It's time to lay you to rest and for me to say Good Bye for now until one day we will meet again and watch our stars again" He tipped the ashes on the sandy beach and watched the breeze spread them where she had wanted. He looked to the heavens to say a last prayer, "This journey is done, my promise fulfilled and now it is time for a new one to begin. Look after her up there Big Guy. She was and always will be one special lady. She was my Angel, now she is yours." Then as if in answer to him, he saw it. A shooting star streaked across the western sky and fragmented on the horizon. Lee smiled and nodded in acknowledgement of his claimed sign from her and the lapping waves crept around and claimed Sandy's ashes. The sun was rising when Lee walked back to his truck. Suddenly, he felt an inner peace sweep over him. He opened the back, unrolled his sleeping bag and climbed in. He was asleep in minutes with a contented smile on his face. Unseen, unheard a wispy figure of Sandy appeared by him in the truck and looked over at his sleeping form. "Goodbye My Love," she whispered and kissed his cheek, "Find peace and happiness now like me, it's what you deserve." Then she faded and disappeared forever. A FEW DAYS LATER Charlie sat on a bar stool working on her books when the juke box suddenly began to play "Always on my mind" by Elvis Presley. She looked up to see who had put the song on. No one was about at first. She hummed the words to herself and returned to her work again, "Maybe I didn't treat you Quite as good as I should have Maybe I didn't love you Quite as often as I could have Little things I should have said and done I just never took the time" Suddenly a male voice joined in slightly off key "You were always on my mind, You were always on my mind" She looked up to see Lee walking towards her with a smile. "Hey Tex. Just passing through?" Charlie asked with a touch of apprehension. She rose to her feet to give Lee a hug. "I was thinking about sticking around, that is if you will have me." Lee said softly, in hope. "Well I will have to think on that Mr. In the meantime make yourself useful and figure out what is wrong with my cell phone." She said clearly overjoyed to see him. "Hey first of all, I am retired and second, I worked on the software end not the end product" Lee protested as he looked at the phone. Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of two men entering the shaded bar. "Well slap my ass and call me Sally! He's back." Tim said slapping Lee on the back. "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Wes roared. Charlie watched the men with amusement. She had hoped Lee would return and there he was. "Who knew what the future held but it was looking good so far." She thought hopefully and joined in with the banter, serving the men their cold beers.