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All In My Head Ch. 01

By: xleglover



(Author's note: This is a sequel to my earlier story, "He Fucked My Girl")

(This story is a lot about feelings, about the torment of a husband who desires his wife to fuck other men, but who's insecure about her love for him. If that's not your thing, then you might want to consider stopping now.) 

*

"How do I look?" Jen asked, a big smile on her pretty face.

"You look incredible," I gushed, admiring her petite body in the brand new dress. It was a bridesmaid dress, and we were going to the wedding of our friends Jack and Jill (after one of the longest engagements on record). Jill mercifully chose dresses her bridesmaids could wear again, so Jen's silk dress was all one color (light pink) and didn't have the frills and fluffs that would've made it impossible to wear again. The dress hugged her curves, had a scoop top that hinted at the soft curve of her breasts, and ended just above her knees. My heart quickened looking at her calves, but that always happened whenever I looked at her legs. They were perfect, long and slim and athletic and shapely, and they ended with the slimmest ankles and prettiest feet. She wore off-white hose and ankle strap heels and a cute ribbon in her hair, the heels and ribbon the same pink as the dress.

She looked pretty and sexy and sweet all at the same time, and her big smile and obvious excitement about the wedding made her look absolutely radiant. We hadn't spent much time with our friends since getting back together, and Jen was excited to see everyone. 

I wasn't as enthused to see everyone. People knew we'd gone through a rough patch. No one knew the whole story, though, except for Claire and Sam (and Allie, who'll I'll talk about later). But people suspected. Certainly, our friends knew she'd had an affair with Ricky. I'd never actually talked to anyone about it, but I figured it was pretty common knowledge (a "well known secret" I guess you'd call it). How much people knew -- that Jen had dated Ricky, that we'd separated for a time -- I wasn't sure of, but I was sure there was a lot of gossiping behind our backs.

Jen wasn't really concerned about it. "They might suspect something, but they don't really know," she'd say. She was like that, carefree and happy-go-lucky. But when you're as pretty as her, and you have a bubbly and delightful personality, you get used to getting away with things, with people giving you the benefit of the doubt. Still, there were good reasons not to let her affair come out into the open. It would not be a good thing if our families found out about it. So a "non-denial denial" was probably the way to go.

We separated at the church, with Jen going with the wedding party and me with the rest of the guests. I said hello to a lot of friends, people I hadn't seen in months. I imagined them staring at me, whispering to each other about how Jen fucked Ricky behind my back, about how she loved his cock and the way he fucked her, about how she'd fallen in love with him and left me just months after our own wedding.

These thoughts got me hard. Of course they didn't suspect the extent of it all. They didn't know I encouraged my wife not only fuck Ricky, but date him and be his girl friend. And not just Ricky, but other men too. But Ricky had been best, because she HAD loved his cock, and she HAD fallen in love with him.

The bridal processional song began. I recognized it -- Pachelbel -- the same from our wedding. The bridesmaids walked up the aisle. Jen was fourth, right before the bride, and she was the prettiest (including Jill, the bride). Of course I'm biased, but really it wasn't even close. 

I didn't hear any of the service. I spent the entire time looking at my wife. We'd been together for years, and married for about a year and a half, and I still can't take my eyes off her. She's so gorgeous, with her pretty face and soft blonde hair, her firm body, her small shapely breasts, her perfect legs, her bubbly personality. She beamed during the entire ceremony, so happy for Jack and Jill and excited to be back among her friends. I willed her to look over to me. To find me in the crowd, to give me a smile. But she didn't, instead trading glances and smiles with the wedding party flanking the bride and groom.

After Jack and Jill were pronounced man and wife, I watched as Jen was paired with a groomsman for the exit processional. I didn't know him (I later found out his name was Scott.) Jen took his offered arm. She beamed and chatted merrily with him as they walked as a couple down the aisle. 

Other men with cuckold fantasies will understand this. I cannot see my wife with another man without thinking about him fucking her. It's like the fantasy is hardwired in my head. And Scott was a good looking guy. Around my age (I'm 28 and Jen's 25), taller than me, broad shoulders, a confident swagger as he walked. I felt butterflies watching them walk down the aisle, smiling and talking, as if they were the only people in the world. 

I wondered if she would notice me as they walked by. I didn't think she would, but then just as they passed by, she turned her head slightly. Momentarily she looked disoriented at seeing me, as if remembering I was there too. She gave me a hesitant smile. And then did she loosen her hold on Scott's arm? Maybe out of guilt? I was so hard it hurt.

While waiting in the receiving line, I watched Jen and Scott continue their friendly banter as they greeted guests with the rest of the wedding party. "Hi Mike," she said to me when it got to be my turn. I looked at her new friend expectantly. Finally she added, "Um ... this is Scott, he's Jack's friend from college." I shook Scott's hand and then moved along the line. I looked back, seeing Jen and Scott back to flirting again. She didn't glance my way.

At the reception, Jen sat next to Scott at the head table. I watched from where I sat, at a table about 3 layers deep from the head table. The two of them flirted almost non-stop. I wondered if he'd heard the rumors, about Jen sleeping with Ricky. Maybe Jack had told him. I had known Jack for years, but we were just casual friends, so he didn't owe me anything. I imagined Jack saying to Scott, "At the wedding make sure to talk to Jen Andrews, she's hot."

Scott would laugh. "Yeah, but the real question is 'is she easy'?" 

Jack would laugh back, and then give his friend a knowing grin. "She's married, but she fucks around. Remember Ricky, you met him one time? She's been fucking him since college, behind Mike's back. Look, here's a picture of her."

"Fuck, you're right she's hot," Scott would say, leaning back and looking more serious. "You really think I have a chance with her? Won't her husband be there?"

Jack would shrug and give his friend another grin. "Like I said, she's fucks around."

"She fucks around," I repeated in my head. I wondered if that's what people thought of Jen, that she fucks around, that I'm not good enough in bed so she needs other men to satisfy her. I looked at Jack, the groom. Did he think he had a chance to get inside Jen's pants, knowing she "fucks around"? His new bride Jill was pretty, but not nearly as Jen. Did he hope to get a piece of her in the future knowing she fucked other men?

I willed myself to stop thinking these thoughts. My cock was so hard it hurt, but worse, if I didn't stop the pre-cum would seep through my pants. I tried to concentrate on the dried chicken breast on my plate.

People started dancing. The obligatory first dances, and then more people got on the dance floor. Jen came over to me. "Wanna dance cowboy?" she asked playfully, looking a little tipsy from wine.

A series of fast songs played. My wife loves to dance, and is fabulous at it. After a little bit, Scott danced over to us, and for a while we danced in a circle. At best I'm an average dancer, but Scott really knows how to move. He edged closer to Jen, and soon they were dancing together. I moved off the dance floor and got a scotch at the bar. I leaned against the wall in a darken area, watching them dance.

I could tell she was having a great time dancing with Scott. He moved behind her and put his hands on her hips, and they gyrated in sync. I wondered if he could feel her garter belt. But then, he probably played with her under the table so he probably already knew.

He pressed his body against her, and she pressed her ass back against them. They gyrated like that, his crotch pressed against her ass, and then Jen raised her arms above her head. She looked back at Scott with a sultry smile on her face. As they danced, his hands slowly moved up her sides. Soon they'd be just below her bust, and I knew what would happen next. He'd cup her breasts. She'd look back over her shoulder, and then his tongue would be in her mouth.

How could she act this way, in front of all these people we knew? Everyone knew she stepped out. They knew about Ricky. How could she humiliate me this way? 

"Who's bed is she going to tonight?" I imagined our friends saying. 

"Not Mike's," someone would answer, and then they'd all laugh.

Their dancing gradually led them away from me, and I lost sight of them. I waited for them to dance back into my sight, but they didn't. I moved around the ballroom to get other views of the dance floor, but they were nowhere to be seen. I started to panic, not for her safety (because while I didn't know him he was Jack's friend), but for what might be happening between them.

At least 20 minutes (and 2 more double scotches) passed. Then suddenly Jen was in front of me. "Hey you," she said. She had perspiration on her forehead and seemed to be breathing hard. Scott was across the room, talking with Jack. They glanced at us as they spoke.

"Have fun?" I asked trying to act normal.

"Yeah, Scott's an awesome dancer," she said looking at him across the room.

Later that night we were in our hotel room. We were in bed, and I'd pushed her dress up around her waist. I was between her open legs, going down on her.

"Yeah Mike, yeah, like that," she moaned, her eyes closed. She had one hand behind my head, and the other rubbing her nipple.

I licked between her lips, and then twirled my tongue around her clit. God she had the prettiest pussy, I could stay there forever! I moved below her pussy and licked across her sandbar, making her groan. Knowing how it drove her crazy, I moved further down, licking across her sweet asshole. "Oh god," she groaned pushing her ass into my face. I rolled my tongue around her puckered anus. "God Mike god yeah," she moaned. 

I played with her like that for a long time, not letting her cum, letting the pleasure build up until her body writhed on the bed. Only then did I return back to her clit. Licking hard with the flat of my tongue, I also pushed a finger into her and immediately found her g-spot, making her practically shriek with pleasure. I rubbed against both her clit and g-spot, while with my other hand I fondled her tit and rubbed her nipple. "Oh god I'm cumming baby I'm cumming!" she cried. Then her body convulsed and her hands tore at my hair. "Oh god oh god!" she cried.

I moved up the bed and put my arm around her. She snuggled into my arm. "That was freaking amazing!" she gushed, still panting. I felt great, knowing I'd given her a lot of pleasure.

Eventually she moved down my body. She pulled down my pants and wrapped her hand around my hard cock. "Your turn," she said with a teasing smile, then she licked the pre-cum off my cockhead. I moaned as she licked me up and down. She teased my balls with her nails as she licked me. Then she moved her head lower and licked my balls with her soft tongue. She moved lower, touching the edge of my sandbar. God it felt so good.

"You like that?" she asked looking up at me with her big blue eyes.

"God yes!"

She hesitated , then tentatively said, "What you did to me was so amazing, but I'm not sure I can do that." 

Her statement came out almost like a question. I quickly reassured her, "That's okay baby, you don't have to."

"You're such a great guy, you know that?" she said smiling at me. I saw the love in her face, and it made me feel so good. "I think I know how to pay you back," she added. She took off my shoes and socks and pulled my pants completely off. She lightly ran her manicured nails from my ankles up my calves, and then ran her nails up my inner thighs. I moaned and my cock jerked. "You like that baby?" she asked, knowing full well I did. 

She wrapped her hand around my shaft and slowly stroked me. With her other hand she used her nails to lightly tickle the underside of my balls. She gave me a sly, knowing smile. "You want to talk about tonight, don't you?" 

I nodded. "What did you think of Scott?"

Her smile widened. She'd known this is what I'd want to talk about. "He's a really good dancer."

"You're attracted to him?"

"What do you think?" she asked, the sly smile still on her face. She lowered her head and took me into her mouth. I'm not the biggest guy, so she can easily swallow all of me. I groaned feeling her tongue running up and down the underside of my shaft.

"Did he hit on you?"

She looked up at me, her lips glistening with moisture. "A little."

"A little?" I repeated. "Did he touch you under the table?"

Slowly stroking me, she said "Do you hope he did?"

"Did he?"

Instead of answering, she lowered her head and took me into her mouth again. "Where did you go? Where you with Scott?"

"So many questions," she said with a husky voice, looking up at me with heavy-lidded bedroom eyes, my cockhead still half in her mouth.

"Did you fuck him?"

She rose up and straddle my legs. Reaching down she guided my cock into her pussy. We both moaned as I entered her. "Did you?" I moaned.

Slowly moving up and down on me, she put her arms around my neck and pulled my ear to her lips, my face immersed in her silky blonde hair. She whispered into my ear, "Can you smell him on me?" That was all it took. With a grunt and lurch I came.

She kissed me and rolled onto the bed, curling into a ball as if inviting me to spoon her. She loved being snuggled at night. I could tell she was exhausted. I undressed her, gently taking off her dress, her heels, her stockings (she hadn't worn a garter belt). I finished undressing myself and then spooned her, pulling the covers over both of us. "Thank you baby," she said to me half asleep. Then we both fell asleep.

When I woke the next morning I had a major headache. Too much scotch. The sun was full in the sky and I saw it was mid-morning. Jen wasn't there. She left a note: Went to help with the gifts. 

As a bridesmaid, one of her jobs was to help bring all the wedding gifts to Jill's parents' house, about 30 minutes from the reception hotel. We'd talked about how I'd help her with this. I wished she'd woken me, because I felt like we'd barely spent any time together yesterday.

I wondered if Scott had gone with her. Is that why she hadn't woken me? So she could spend more time with Scott?

I lay back down and pulled out my cock. I was hard. I closed my eyes and remembered how she'd held his arm walking down the aisle, gaily laughing and talking, and how they continued their flirtation all during dinner. She'd ignored me the entire day, all her attentions on Scott. On the dance floor she'd barely danced with me, instead choosing to dance with Scott. It'd been like he was her husband and I was an unwanted third wheel. And she'd dirty danced with him, inviting his hands on her. Had he fingered her during dinner, under the table? 

And what about that half hour, when they disappeared? She practically admitted it -- she let him fuck her. With all our friends there. Thirty minutes was more than enough. He might have fucked her twice, once in her mouth and once in her pussy. Had she fed me his creampie when I went down on her, made me eat his cum out of her? Did she have that little respect for me? 

I came, thinking these thoughts. Then I lay in bed catching my breath, feeling insecure.

It'd been a year since we got back together, after her relationship with Ricky ended. About 6 months ago, I watched her have sex with another man. I'd encouraged her. I knew she needed more than I could give her. And my strongest fantasy -- obsession-- was her with other men. 

We began playing our Game again. But the one night stands made her feel cheap. She grew up Catholic, with all the guilt that goes with that. We stopped playing the game 2 months ago. I wanted to keep going, but it got her too upset.

You might wonder, "how can I be insecure about other men, when I want her to sleep around?" Well, if you have to ask that question, you don't really understand the cuckold fantasy. The risk of losing her to another man -- a better man -- a handsomer, more successful, better body, better endowed man -- is a big part of the fantasy. Jealousy, heart ache and angst are like fuel on a fire. Early in our relationship, I thought I was enough to keep her sexually satisfied. That bubble burst the first time Ricky fucked her. He did things to her I never had. She responded to him like she never had with me. That made me realize I could never give her all she needed.

But you can't separate physical love from emotional love. That's true for everyone, but especially for girls I think. If another man is pleasing her body -- rocking her world -- she can't help but develop feelings for him. That's what happened with Ricky. Jen fell in love with him. Today, she denies she did. But I was there, I know.

As I lay in bed, with jizz on my hand, I thought about those things. She probably didn't fuck him last night. She likes to flirt, and that's all she did last night. But why'd she spend so much time with him last night, ignoring me? And why didn't she wake me up this morning? 

I knew everyone from the wedding was probably downstairs, and I had to make an appearance. I showered and got dressed (masturbating again in the shower, thinking of them together). 

Downstairs, there was a big crowd of people from the wedding. People kidded me about being hung over. "Have you seen Jen?" I asked Jill, the bride. She and Jack were leaving on their honeymoon tomorrow.

"She and Scott took the presents to my parents' house," she said, watching me closely as if wanting to see my reaction. She probably knew what was really going on with Scott and my wife.

My suspicions were confirmed when Jill shared a knowing glance with her other bridesmaids, and they broke into a giggle. They all knew Jen had Scott's cock in her at that very moment. It was probably long and thick, her pussy stretched so tight she could feel the thick veins running up the sides. They all knew I can't satisfy her, she needed a real alpha man like Scott, not small dicked me.

Of all the bridesmaids, Allie was the worst. Jen and Allie met freshman year of college, and they'd been best friends since. Like Jen, Allie is a knockout, although she was still single. I doubted she'll ever marry, being so wild and fun loving. That was why Jen liked Allie so much. She grew up in a kind of conservative Catholic home, and by college she was ready to let loose some. Allie was the perfect partner in crime. 

Allie and I don't get along. I mean, we played nice for Jen's sake. But Allie's never liked me. I don't think she thinks I'm good enough for Jen, and honestly I don't think she liked losing her wingman. I'm sure Allie knows the entire Ricky story. She wasn't around when it happened. She works at the same advertising firm as Jen -- but at the time she was in London working on a high profile project. I assume Jen told Allie the entire story, but to be honest I try to avoid talking about Allie with Jen. 

But I was trapped here, and Allie gave me a look. I have to admit, she's hot, but opposite to Jen. Brunette instead of blonde, busty instead of petite. She's a flirt too, but if Jen's a 10 in the flirtatious department, then Allie's a 15.


All In My Head Ch. 01



"Worried about your pretty wife?" Allie asked giving me a fake sweet smile.

I shrugged trying to look unconcerned. When I didn't say anything, she added "Don't worry Mike, Scott will take good care of her."

I felt lightheaded. I gave a stupid excuse about getting some food, and moved away from this group of the bride and her bridesmaids. I felt Allie's eyes on my crotch as I stood. She probably could tell I was hard. I'm sure Jen told her I got hot when she fucked other men. I blushed feeling humiliated.

I got a plate from the buffet. I felt everyone's eyes on me. They all knew my wife was with Scott. I played with the food for a few minutes, then retreated back to the sanctuary of our room.

I texted Jen: "How's it going?" She didn't answer. Thirty minutes later I texted "R u ok?" Still she didn't answer. I tried to keep busy by packing our things, since our train left later that day.

Around 1pm I went back down to the lobby. I was getting worried and planned to borrow someone's car to look for them. They were setting up a big "goodbye" lunch for all the wedding guests. As the elevator opened on the lobby floor, I saw Jen talking to Jill and Allie. "Hey sleepy head, finally waking up?" she said to me. Jill and Allie laughed. WTF?! Here I was worried about her, and she teases me?

"I texted and called you," I said.

"Oh sorry my battery ran out," she said, then turned back to talk to Jill and Allie. It was like I wasn't even there. 

Jill and Allie were holding glasses of wine. "Mike can you get me a glass of wine?" Jen asked. 

I went to the bar. "Could I get two whites?" I asked the bartender. 

I brought the wines back but Jen and the other girls had already sat down for lunch. I went into the dining room and saw Jen sitting next to Scott. They were sitting close together, laughing and talking, just like last night. She hadn't saved me a seat next to her. It was one of those lunches where you weren't supposed to sit next to your spouse, but still. I brought the wine to her. She didn't notice me at first, so involved was she talking to Scott. "Oh, thanks honey but Scott got me one," she said, holding a glass of red. Then she turned back to talk to him.

I sat across the room and tried to make polite conversation. I tried not to be obvious about it, but I kept looking at Jen and Scott. Each time I looked they seemed to be sitting closer together, their heads almost touching as they talked. I'm sure everyone noticed, how they were spending so much time together, how my wife was brazenly flirting with another man right in front of me. Was his hand on her thigh under the table? Was she full of his cum? 

Finally lunch ended and we boarded our train back into the city. Jen had drank a few glasses of wine, so she was tired. As soon as we sat down, she leaned her head against my shoulder and fell asleep. I put my arm around her. We were both exhausted when we finally got to our apartment. I wanted to talk to her about what had happened, but it would have to wait until tomorrow.

The next morning, I had to leave early for a client meeting. I left before Jen even woke up. I stayed busy until lunch, but then I had some free time to think. I couldn't understand the weekend. Jen knew I was up to play the Game again if she wanted to. If she wanted to fuck Scott she could tell me, she didn't need to be coy. 

Our relationship hadn't gotten back to how it had been before Ricky. Our time together after graduation and before our wedding had been so exciting, magical even. But then Ricky happened. I'd encouraged it. I thought it was just an exciting game. I thought afterward things would go back to how they'd been. But they hadn't.

Sex wasn't as good, at least for her, I was sure. I couldn't satisfy her the way those other men could, and the passage of time didn't cure that. Yeah, I could always get her off with my tongue. But I didn't have the body or cock to rock her world the way those other guys could. 

What's worse, we didn't seem as together as before. We loved each other for sure. But it didn't seem like we were as close. We didn't hang out together and laugh and whisper sweet nothings to each other like we used to do. We weren't in sync like before. Sometimes she seemed distracted, even distant. It was like something was wedged between us, keeping us from getting back together like before.

After work I picked up groceries and made dinner. She always worked out after work, so by the time she got home I had dinner all laid out, including a bottle of wine and candles. She smiled seeing what I'd done, and we had a quiet romantic dinner.

Afterwards she leaned against me on the sofa as I rubbed her shoulders and neck. I wanted her really relaxed before getting into the weekend. Finally I said, "It was a good wedding, huh?"

"Yeah, I had an awesome time catching up with everyone."

"Jack and Jill went to Belize?"

"Yeah, they have a cute little cottage right on the water."

We chatted like that for a while. Then, finally I said "I guess I was surprised you didn't wake me up yesterday."

"I tried but you were out of it." She giggled. "How much did you drink at the reception?"

I wondered how hard she tried. "It's not like I had anything else to do," I said. "You were with Scott all night."

I guess she heard the hurt in my voice. She turned around to face me. "Are you all right?" When I didn't answer, she said "I was just catching up with everybody."

"Why'd it take 4 hours yesterday? It's only an hour round trip."

"Traffic was horrendous. And then we got stuck talking to Jill's aunts and uncles who stayed at the house instead of the hotel." When I didn't answer, she added, "Mike, nothing happened."

I started feeling like an idiot, and guilty for thinking she'd lied. Trying to explain, I said "It's just that, you talked to Scott so much."

"I don't know," she said with a shrug. "He's interesting, we have a lot in common. We like a lot of the same bands, and he's really into the outdoors."

Her answer didn't exactly make me feel better. She rested her head on my chest, and I held her, both of us quiet. Then I finally got to what I wanted to say. "If something HAD happened, I'd be okay with that. You know that right?"

She pushed off me and sat straight on the sofa. "Yeah Mike I know that." There was a dismissive coldness in her voice. "You're all over the place," she said frustrated. "You get jealous if I talk to someone, and disappointed if I don't fuck him."

"I'm not saying I want you to fuck Scott," I hurriedly said. "I'm just saying, if you do I'd be okay with it." This was not going right. I DIDN'T want her to fuck Scott, there was something about him I didn't like. But if she did fuck him, I wanted her to tell me about it. That's what I was trying to say, but it wasn't coming out right.

She shook her head, frustration and anger brewing. "Mike, I'm not going to do something like that. I mean, god, you're the one worried about our friends knowing." 

It's not a good thing when Jen gets angry. She doesn't often, but when she does it takes a while before she cools down. "Listen, I'm sorry, you're 100% right," I said soothingly, trying to head off her anger. "I'm a complete idiot," I added, putting my arms around her.

"You are an idiot," she said hitting me on the chest, but the anger was gone and she didn't pull away from me.

Later that night in bed, I put my arm around her and tentatively kissed her. I wanted her, but wasn't sure if she'd be into it given our argument. She let me kiss her, and began responding. I moved my hand under my old frat t-shirt she wears to bed, and she didn't stop me when I cupped her breast. Her nipple hardened when I rubbed it with my thumb. I knew I was in business when she paused and pulled off her t-shirt.

I kissed and fondled down her body, lingering at her breasts. They're small but perfectly formed with perky nipples. Her nipples are super sensitive so I spent a long time sucking and rubbing them. At the same time my hands roamed her body, my fingers tracing between her ass checks, caressing her inner thighs. 

Finally I left her bosom and traveled down her body. I didn't linger on her stomach -- sometimes she can be ticklish there -- but feeling her tummy always turned me on, so flat and firm from great genes and a lot of exercising. I finally got to her pussy. During the day she wears lacy thongs, but at night to sleep she wears cotton panties, so cute because often they have little bows on the waistband. I was gratified to see a wet spot in the panties. I pulled them down her long legs, and then I spread her legs and went down on her. I took my time, licking and touching her how I knew she liked it, teasingly building her up and letting her come down. 

When we first started going out I'd eat her out but not to climax. Instead, after getting her hot, I'd mount her and finish her through intercourse. Usually I could get her to cum that way, and it made me feel good having her orgasm on my cock. It was harder now to get her to cum that way. I guess she got spoiled by longer and thicker cocks. So I always made sure to make her cum with my tongue, no matter how long it took, because I wanted to make sure she got off. 

Tonight it didn't take long. After just a few minutes she convulsed and squealed and came. Afterwards I moved up her body. She reached between us and guided my cock into her. "God you're so hard!" she moaned as I entered her. "Fuck me Mike, fuck me hard!"

I was definitely hard, after everything that had happened that weekend. I fucked her hard, digging my feet into the mattress and using it as leverage to ram her hard. I wanted to fuck the shit out of her, the way I'd seen Ricky do to her so many times. I knew she wanted that. Even after her orgasm, she wanted the physicality of being taken hard. But then my mind wandered to the weekend. Images flitted though my head of how she flirted with Scott, how she ignored me, how she made me feel like a third wheel as she gave Scott all her attention. I couldn't help it, I came. 

"Sorry," I said afterwards. I'd cum after only a few strokes.

"That's okay, I had a great orgasm," she said, and kissed me. But I felt like a loser. She'd wanted fucked hard, and I'd popped before she'd even had a chance to warm up.

She rolled to her side and I spooned her, the way we usually slept. She hugged my arm tight, and we fell asleep.

The next day she called me at work. "Remember, I'm going out with Allie after work."

"Oh yeah," I said, remembering. "Do you want me to make you something for dinner?"

"That's okay, we'll probably get something at the bar."

I got home around 7, and knew Jen wouldn't be home until at least 10. It gave me some time to think. She believed her actions with Scott were innocent. Okay, maybe not innocent, but not unusual for her. She had a point there since she loved to flirt -- it was something that drew me to her. But after thinking about it, I decided this had definitely been different. Usually she flirted with a lot of guys, like a social butterfly. But here she paid all her attention on just Scott. And going alone with him with the presents was definitely out of line. She could have woken me up, I wasn't that out of it, and she'd known I wanted to go with her. Clearly she was attracted to him. He was ruggedly handsome and looked in really good shape, and seemed extremely confident. All things Jen found attractive. He reminded me of Ricky, and you know how that turned out.

I wondered what Jen and Allie were talking about. I imagined Allie putting me down, saying something like "Mike looked like a lost puppy dog yesterday. Is he always that insecure?"

Jen would say "He gave me a hard time about it last night."

Allie would giggle. "What I want to know is, did Scott give you a hard one?"

Jen would laugh. "God you're so bad."

"You know it girl, now fess up. Is DOESN'T take 4 hours to go to Jill's parents' house. What happened?"

Jen would get red and put her head in her hands. "God Allie, Scott fucked me!"

"Where?"

"At the house!"

"Where were all the aunts and uncles?"

"They'd already left, the house was empty. I called Jill so she wouldn't blow my cover."

"So your battery didn't really die?"

Jen would shake her head. "Scott was in my mouth when Mike called!"

I clenched my eyes shut, forcibly purging these thoughts from my head. Jen said nothing happened, she wouldn't lie to me. 

But she'd lied before, when she'd been involved with Ricky. Maybe she HAD fucked Scott, but didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt me, or didn't want the complications of getting my obsessive cuckold fantasy involved.

Jack and Jill had made a Facebook page for their wedding, and everyone was posting pictures there. I went there and scrolled through the pictures. There were a lot of Jen because she was in the bridal party. Scott was in many of them, and often they were talking or interacting or at least next to each other. It was hard to believe they'd just met. Someone looking at the pictures would think they were a couple.

I zoomed in on a picture of them. They were talking and laughing, their heads close. He had his arm on the back of her chair. Not touching her, but still like she was his. I took out my cock. I imagined them kissing. I imagined his cock in her mouth. I remembered how much of a third wheel I felt. I came after just a few strokes.

I knew why I was so threatened by Scott. It was more than the fact he was handsome and fit. He had that "bull" attitude. He clearly knew I was there, but he went ahead and flirted with another man's wife for close to 2 days. You have to have a special arrogance to do that. He reminded me of Ricky.

I thought of Gary, Jen's mentor at work. She liked him, and even slept with him once when we were broken up. After we got back together and started playing the Game again, we thought about including Gary. But in the end, Jen decided not to. Part of it was, she didn't want to jeopardize her friendship with him. But I think mostly, it was because Gary was too nice a guy. He wasn't the kind of guy who'd jeopardize another's marriage. He didn't have the bull attitude. 

The next week we were having a quiet dinner when Jen said, "A bunch of people from work are going out for happy hour tomorrow. Are you up for it?"

Honestly I don't like going out with Jen's work friends. For one, I'd have to deal with Allie. But advertising people are too rowdy for me. I work on Wall Street; it's intense and high pressure, but its sober seriousness fits my personality better (Jen would hate Wall Street, too boring).

But I like spending time with my wife, so I said "Definitely, I'm in."

The next day I got held up and got to the happy hour late. "Hey baby," Jen said giving me a kiss. I knew most of the people there. She introduced me to a few new people. I was shocked to see Scott. 

"Hey bro, how you doing?" he said shaking my hand. He saw the surprise on my face and grinned. "Yeah, I just started. You know us advertising types, have diploma will travel." I found out later he'd been hired as an account executive, which was about right on the corporate totem pole given his age. Still, he was a couple of rungs below Jen, who was now a director. Allie was a director too. To be fair though, Jen and Allie were both moving up the ladder faster than normal (their gorgeous looks and outgoing personalities didn't hurt in advertising).

There were about 10 of us. We pulled together three 4 tops and sat down. Maybe because of what happened at the wedding, Jen sat away from Scott, holding my hand to make sure we sat next to each other (which didn't always happen at these happy hours).

People started looking at stapled sheets of paper. It was a playlist! Fuck, this was karaoke night! I -- HATE -- KARAOKE. I'm a lousy singer, and I'm always too embarrassed to sing in front of people.

Jen loves it though, and she was one of the first people on the list. Others from our table got on the list, including Scott. In fact, everyone did, except me. "You getting on the list Mike?" he said loud enough so everyone could hear.

"I'm still thinking about it," I replied.

"Dude, you just gotta do it!" he said with a laugh. Asshole.

The first singers were average at best. Then it was Jen's turn. She loved old bands, so she sang Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. Everyone looked when she got up on the stage because she's so pretty. But she really got everyone's attention when she started to sing, not just with her beautiful voice, but gliding across the stage just like a young Stevie Nicks. A lot of people gave her a standing O, including everyone at our table. I was so proud of her, I gave her a big hug and kiss.

A few songs later it was Allie's turn. She sang Beyonce's Single Ladies Put a Ring on It, which I thought was a strange choice because I could never see Allie settling down with one guy. Her voice wasn't as good as Jen's, but she knew how to move her body, so she also got an ovation.

Then it was Scott's turn. He sang She's a Lady. His voice was no better than mine, but he knew how to dance and work the crowd, so he was moving and gyrating just like Tom Jones. Our table was already cheering him on when he jumped off the stage and pulled Jen to her feet. He grinded his crotch against hers, as he sang: "She can take what I dish out, and that's not easy, Well she knows me through and through, She knows just what to do, and how to please me. She's a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady."

Jen played along and grinded back, beaming and laughing delightedly the whole time. As the song ended everyone gave him an ovation, and caught in the moment, Jen gave him a hug.

A while later our group was getting on the list again. By then everyone at our table had sang twice, and some three times. Scott handed me the playlist. "Come on bro, you have to go at least once."

I shrugged. "You guys are great, but this isn't my thing."

"Come on, we're all making fools of ourselves, don't be a stick in the mud," he insisted.

Everyone looked at me. I've never felt more like an outsider. Jen could have helped me by saying something like "It's not his thing, okay?" But instead her eyes were on the stage, watching the next singer set up. 

Finally I joked "Believe me, I'm saving you guys from major pain by not singing." I forced a smiled, trying to save some of my dignity. Some of the people I knew gave me an out by laughing. 

Later in the taxi on the way home, I said to Jen "Sorry about all that. I'm a lousy singer." 

"That okay," she said, "But you know, no one cares how well you sing, it's all fun." I was hoping she'd say Scott had acted like an ass, but instead she said the opposite. "Look at Scott, he can't sing but he was great."

"Yeah, I guess," I said feeling deflated even more. We rode in silence for a while. I felt like she was disappointed in me. But then she slid closer and leaned her head against my shoulder, and I put my arm around her.

At home Jen went right to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I quietly got up and went into our home office. 

Scott working with Jen added another dimension to my insecurities. Would they be spending a lot of time together? Jen would be his boss. Would that motivate him more to get inside her pants? I imagined him bragging in the lunchroom to his buddies, "I nailed Jenny Andrews last night!" Would that embolden other co-workers to hit on her? She's beautiful, but unattainable not just because she's married but also her high position. If she fucked Scott and it got around, would the other guys in the office see her as a potential lay?

On my computer I opened the wedding picture of them (I'd saved it in a folder). I imagined them kissing, his cock in her mouth, his cock inside her pussy. Did she get him the job, so they could spend more time together? So they could take long lunches? Does he get off looking at his boss down on her knees, her blonde head bobbing up and down on his cock, her wedding ring wet with his precum? 




All In My Head Ch. 01



"Jennifer Andrews went down on you?" the other accounts execs would say amazed.

"Yeah, bro," Scott would say triumphantly. "I covered her pretty face with my spunk. She went home to her loser husband with my jizz in her hair."

I grunted and came. I shook my head as I wiped my hand and closed the picture. I was going crazy. I couldn't talk to Jen about this. She'd already told me nothing had happened, and if I brought it up again it would be like calling her a liar. But I needed to do something. First thing, I needed more information on Scott. 

Jack was back from his honeymoon, so the next day I met him for a drink. After talking about how their honeymoon went, I asked, "So what's the story on your friend Scott?"

"Why do you want to know?"

I shrugged trying to look nonchalant. "It's not that big a deal, I was just wondering." Then I decided I needed to give Jack something if I was going to get him to talk. "The thing is, Jen spent a lot of time talking to him at your wedding, and now he's working where she works --"

Jack had heard enough, cutting me off. "Mike, you better watch out for Scott."

"Why?"

"Just the things I've heard about Jen ..." Then he stopped talking, looking like he said too much.

"Heard what Jack?" When he didn't answer, I repeated in a louder voice "Heard what Jack?" 

When he still didn't answer, I calmed myself and said in a reasonable voice, "Jack, we're friends right? If people were talking about Jill I'd tell you, she's your wife, so you have a right to know. That's what friends are for, right?"

He looked warily at me. Then he finally said, "Ok, but just remember, I'm the messenger, I don't believe any of what people are saying."

"Okay, that's fair," I said, with me looking wary now, preparing myself for what he was about to say.

"Mike, people are saying things about Jen and other men. They say she had a big affair with Ricky. Some people even say she left you and moved in with him for a while in California."

I felt numb. I suspected people were talking, but it was like they knew the whole story. 

I guess my shock showed. "Are you okay Mike?" Jack asked looking concerned. "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this."

"It's all bullshit Jack," I said trying to recover. "Jen's never cheated on me." Which was mostly true.

"Okay," Jack said looking doubtful. 

"What other men?" I asked.

He looked at me like he didn't understand. "You said people were talking about Jen and other men," I said. "Who else besides Ricky?"

He looked like he wanted to be anywhere else at that moment but sitting next to me. But he knew he couldn't avoid answering me, not after what he'd already said. "Look Mike. People are saying they've seen Jen leaving bars with other men. Recently, in the last year."

My heart sang. When we started playing the Game again, we went to bars in other parts of the city. But it's a small world. Clearly someone had seen Jen when she'd allowed herself to be seduced and picked up. What was surprising was they didn't see me too, watching in the background. But then, I don't draw as much attention as my beautiful wife.

"Okay Jack, thanks for telling me," I said, trying to hide how terrible I felt. "Like I said, it's all bullshit." 

Jack was getting up to leave when I remembered Scott. I pulled Jack's arm. "Why did you tell me to watch out for Scott?"

He clearly wanted to go, but he said "I love Scott like a brother, but he's the biggest pussy hound in the world. In college he fucked every girl in our sister sorority, 35 girls, even the ones with boyfriends. He did it on a bet. It took all year but he won the bet. He has a way with girls. But it doesn't matter, since all those rumors about Jen aren't true."

"Yeah, it doesn't matter," I said my voice trailing off. 

The next weekend we rented a car and drove to the Hamptons. Friends were renting a beach house for the week and they invited us over for the weekend, because they were throwing a big party. 

I hadn't told Jen about my conversation with Jack. To be honest, I was still processing the information. I wasn't sure how Jen would react. I realized I hadn't asked some key questions, like who was saying this. He probably wouldn't tell me who, but I thought he'd at least tell me how widespread the rumor was, and whether it was old news or still something people were still talking about. I knew Jack would be at the party, so I was hoping to pump him for more information. Once I had that information I could figure out how to break it to Jen.

It took forever to get there because of traffic. The hosts -- Bobby and Grace -- handed us a melon concoction as soon as we walked in. "You guys need to catch up," Bobby said with a laugh.

They gave us a quick tour of the house. It was amazing, but we'd noticed even larger mansions in the neighborhood. "I'm sorry we don't have a bedroom for you" Grace said.

"That's okay, just being here is great!" Jen said enthusiastically. She was so excited to spend a weekend with our friends.

"Here," Bobby said with a grin, showing us a bowl with pieces of paper. "We're picking beds by random lots." Jen picked first, and her paper said the sofa in the upstairs loft. I picked next, and mine said the cot in the family room. 

Jen put her paper back into the bowl. "I'll sleep with Mike on the cot," she said hugging my arm. "It'll be cozy." I grinned, hoping that meant we might fool around under the covers that night.

Just then Allie walked in. "Jen, you can share my bed. I lucked out and got the loft bedroom, it looks right over the ocean."

"Um ... bed and sunrise or cot and husband," Jen said, pretending to think. "Sorry baby," she said to me with a giggle, then she took Allie's arm and went to check out the loft bedroom.

I mingled and chatted with the other guests. There must have been 40 people there, all sleeping in the house, but the house was huge. The melon drink was good too, and I warned myself to pace myself or I'd end up sleeping face down on the floor.

I was by the pool and thinking about taking my shirt off to take advantage of the last vestiges of sun. Then I saw Scott. His shirt was off. His upper body was hard, well defined and sculpted. His arms and legs looked just as firm and muscular. He was also tanned. I decided to keep my shirt on.

The party was going all out, and some people were talking about going to the beach (just steps away) and watching the moonrise, because it was such a clear night. I was talking to Bobby when Grace walked up. "Bobby, we're out of melon liquor, you have to get some," she said sounding like the frantic hostess.

I could tell Bobby didn't want to leave his own party. "Don't worry Bobby, I'll go get it," I said slapping his back. He was clearly happy and gave me a good natured slap back. 

I was rewarded with a kiss from Jen. "You're such a great guy," she said smiling at me.

The market was only a mile away, and I figured I'd be back in 10 minutes. But the traffic was horrendous. It took me 20 minutes to go a mile. I got the liquor and a few other things Grace wanted (ice, some melons, beer and wine). I headed back. Unfortunately the traffic was even worse going back. I was less than 100 feet from the driveway and the road was a parking lot. Frustrated, I carefully edged onto the shoulder. I thought it would be okay since I was so close to the driveway. But then I saw flashing red lights behind me. Fuck! The last thing I needed was a DUI.

The cop gave me a hard time, but gave me a break because I was so close to the house. He let me go with a warning. But dealing with him took a while, so all in all it took me an hour and a half roundtrip.

The party was going full tilt just as I'd left it. Grace took the groceries from me and started making more melon drinks, but there was enough alcohol in the house to last until the end of summer, much less this party. "Where's Jen?" I asked her.

"I don't know. The last I saw she was going to the beach to watch the moonrise. Check with Allie, I saw her by the pool."

Allie had her bikini on and was surrounded by guys. I couldn't blame them, she's got a hot body and pretty face. She caught me looking, and gave me one of those "look all you want, but you're not good enough for me" smiles. That's why she didn't like me. She didn't think I was good enough for Jen either.

"Do you know where Jen is?" I asked her. When she shrugged no, I said "I thought you guys went to the beach to see the moonrise."

"That was a while ago," she said. "She and Scott went for a walk to look at the big mansion over there." She smiled, and there was an evil twinkle in her eye. I turned and walked away.

Where was she? It doesn't take that long to check out a house! What man's wife disappears with another man on the beach, for an hour? This was just like the wedding, she was doing it again! 

I was so angry and humiliated and hurt. I found the hard stuff and pounded down two scotches. To hell with pacing. I saw Jen walking up the path towards the house 15 minutes later. She was with Scott, and they were talking and laughing. 

She grabbed my arm when she saw me. "Mike, you should see the house over there, its freaking huge!" Then she saw my face. "Is something wrong?"

"I need to talk to you," I said grabbing her arm and walking back down the path towards the beach.

"Where have you been?" I growled when we were far enough from the house that no one could hear.

"Checking out the big house next door."

"With Scott, alone."

"Mike, what is this? No one else wanted to go."

"Jen, you disappear with another guy for an hour, the same guy you disappeared with at the wedding, and you think that's okay?"

"We were just hanging out, I told you we like the same music, he told me about some hikes he's done in Europe."

"Jen, don't you see how it looks?" I said exasperated. "Everyone's already talking about you."

"They don't know anything," she said giving me her standard answer.

"They do know!" I said. "I talked to Jack."

Suddenly Jen went ice cold. "What?"

"I talked to Jack. He told me people are talking about you. He said --"

"You talked to Jack?" she said interrupting me, sounding horrified. "Jill's the worse gossip! Now everyone knows!"

"Knows what?" I said confused.

"That you talked to Jack!" she cried.

I was surprised by her sudden alarm. "Jen, baby, I told Jack the rumors were bullshit," I assured her.

"It doesn't matter, you shouldn't have talked to him at all!" she cried, her alarm growing.

Suddenly it clicked in my head, and I understood how Jen could be so confident about her denial of the rumors all these months. I'm a numbers guy. Everything's black and white, 1+1=2. But Jen's advertising. It's like politics. It doesn't matter what the truth is. You ignore what people say and just stick to your story, and sooner or later people will agree with your version of the truth. But I'd screwed all that up by talking to Jack, because just by talking about the rumors, I'd validated them. 

"Honey, I'm sorry --" I said, reaching for her.

"Don't!" she said pushing my arms away. "I don't want to talk to you right now." She turned and walked away. I felt like shit. I gave her a head start and then followed her. I saw she went right to Allie and pulled her away from everyone else, to talk.

I didn't want to make things worse so I acted like everything was okay. I didn't want people to think we'd argued. But people had noticed Jen disappear with Scott, and me pull her aside when they finally got back. People gave me a lot of looks which I did my best to ignore.

I stopped drinking. I didn't want to make things worse by getting drunk. I drank water and tried to act normal. 

The party went forever. I saw Jen across the room. She was her bubbly self again. Either she was over it or putting on a show like me. I suspected the latter. 

She didn't come to me, or even look my way. I wanted to talk to her, but I knew she was mad, and when she's like that it's better to give her space.

People started going to sleep around 3. I looked for Jen to give her a good night kiss. I saw her and we locked eyes. I moved towards her, but she went into the loft bedroom and closed the door. I felt like shit.

I went downstairs to the cot. There were a few others already settled down into their cots or sleeping bags. I felt like I was back in college again.

I couldn't sleep. I felt terrible. I realized I'd been selfish, thinking just about me. I mean, all I thought about was what people were saying and thinking about me. I didn't consider what Jen was going through. She was the one who had the affair with Ricky, who went with him to California, who slept with guys after she and I got back together. Our friends probably thought she was the bad guy and me the victim, since they didn't know about my role in all of this. They probably talked about how she was a cheating slut, and those rumors would really hurt her because deep down at her core she was just a blonde, blue eyed, sweet catholic girl. You probably think I'm putting her up on a pedestal, but she truly is a sweet loving person. I'm the demented evil one, not her. I wanted desperately to talk to her, but she didn't want anything to do with me.

I began hearing sounds that could only be couples having sex. Now I really felt like I was back in my fraternity days. 

I'm sure many of the people having sex were the married couples there. We'd all been split up by the lottery process, but horny husbands and wives have a way of ending up with each other. Earlier I'd hoped Jen would come to me (no way could I go to the loft bedroom with Allie there), but I knew that wasn't going to happen now. 

Other sounds, I'm sure, came from hookups with the singles at the party. There were still a lot of singles in our group, most of us were still under 30. 

I thought of Jen and Allie in the loft bedroom. "I told you, Mike's a fuck up," Allie would say.

Jen: "Just stop, okay?" 

Allie (smiling): "So what really happened on the beach with Scott?"

Jen (head in her hands): "God, I don't want to think about it. I can't imagine what they're saying about me."

Allie: "Fuck them Jen, who cares what they're saying. Anyway, this makes it easier."

Jen: "What do you mean?"

Allie would walk to the door and open it, and say "Surprise!" and Scott would walk in, a big grin on his face.

"Scott get out of here!" Jen would say urgently in a hushed voice. "Allie!"

Allie (smiling): "I think I'll leave you love birds alone."

Jen: "Scott you have to leave, Mike's downstairs."

Scott (pulling her to him): "You weren't worried about that on the beach."

"Scott stop" Jen'd say, but responding to his kisses and not stopping him as he pushed up her skirt.

"You're wet," he'd say fingering her.

"Hello? That's you in there!" she'd giggle, and then moan as he rubbed her clit.

He'd put her hand on his big hard cock. "Okay, but we have to be quiet," she'd say surrendering to him.

"Yeah, like you were quiet on the beach."

"Shut up you jerk," she'd laugh hitting his chest. "Oh god," she'd groan as he entered her. 

"You like that babe?"

"Oh god yes you feel so good inside me!"

I came in my hand, stifling my moan since there were people around me. Then I fell into a restless sleep. 

I woke up around 10. Frankly I'm not sure if I slept at all. Everyone else was asleep. I showed and dressed, and then drove into town and bought tubs of coffee and donuts from a coffee shoppe. When I got back people were starting to stir, everyone with mild to major hangovers (except me, since I'd stopped drinking pretty early). A hung over Grace saw the coffee and donuts and hung me, saying "You're a godsend."

Jen came down the stairs around noon. She'd also showered, but still looked tired. I wasn't sure if she was still mad, but she sat next to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "You ready to go?"

"I thought you wanted to hang out on the beach?"

"Nah, I've got an early meeting tomorrow."

We said our goodbyes and left. For a while we drove in silence. Finally she squeezed my hand and said "I'm sorry I was such a pyscho bitch last night."

I squeezed her hand back. "It's all my fault. I'm sorry for being such an idiot."

She leaned her head against my shoulder and I put my arm around her. We drove that way for a while. It felt good.

After a while she said, "You know, nothing happened with Scott. I just like him, we're buds."

I didn't know what to say. How could I tell her I'd RATHER she have a meaningless fuck rather than develop a real relationship with him. Finally I said "Jack told me he's a real player." I'd rather not have reminded her of my talk with Jack and braced for another outburst, but I wanted to make sure she knew that Scott was after more than just a platonic relationship.

She paused, and then said "Okay, good to know."

Then she said (with a smile in her voice), "Did you hear all the sex last night?" I noticed the abrupt change of topic. I suspected she wanted to change the subject away from Scott.

I played along and laughed. "Matt and Annie were going at it on the sofa next to me."

"So, did you get any big boy?" she teased me.

"I had a date with Mr. Hand," I said, a little embarrassed. "How about you?"

"Wait, first I want to know what you were thinking about," she said giggling. "Matt and Annie?"

"More like what you and Allie were doing in the loft bedroom." I laughed like it was a joke, but that was the truth.

She pulled away and looked at me with a surprised crooked grin. "You fantasize about me and Allie?"

"Well ..." That's not what I was thinking but I couldn't say I'd never thought about it, they were both super hot.

"Oh my god," she said a shocked delighted smile on her face. "I can't wait to tell Allie."

"Oh god please don't" I said with a fake moan of pain.

"Come on, she doesn't hate you like you think," she said with a playful hit to my arm. "She told me I should go to you last night."

"You're kidding," I said shocked.

"She likes you Mike," Jen said, her tone going from playful to serious. "You're a really good guy, you really are," she added, running her fingertips along my leg (I was wearing shorts). I got hard, and she noticed. 

Then she did something she hadn't done since we first started dating in college. She unzipped my pants and took out my cock, and went down on me. She slowly bobbed up and down on my shaft while I tried to keep us on the road. I came fast, which is probably why we didn't get into an accident. Afterwards she leaned against me and I put my arm around her, and she fell asleep.

As she slept I chided myself for doubting her. There was nothing going on between her and Scott, they were just friends. She had lots of guy friends. I had to stop all my demented thinking, it was going to hurt our relationship. She loved me, she was mine, I had to stop being so insecure.

As we entered the City, I thought about how much I loved my wife, and how lucky I was to have her.



All In My Head Ch. 02



We got home from the Hamptons and had a quiet evening. We didn't talk about Scott or the rumors about Jen. We went to bed early. I reached for Jen, but she said "I'm kinda pooped tonight baby." So instead of sex we settled down to sleep.

Something woke me up, but it was a gradual awakening, like when you slowly transition from a dream to being awake because of something that's happening in the real world. That's what happened here. I sensed more than felt movement next to me. In the dark, I could just see movement below Jen's waist. I realized she was masturbating. 

I guess she sensed I might be awake and she looked at me. I pretended like I was still asleep. I don't know why, if I'd waken up we could have had sex. But instead I pretended to sleep, looking at her through just barely opened eyes.

She looked at me for a long time. Convinced I was still asleep, she started moving under the covers again. As she approached orgasm, her legs parted more and the movement of her hand at her pussy increased. She pulled down the covers and reached under her t-shirt to rub her nipples while she continued to fuck herself with her hand. Her back arched as her orgasm hit, and I heard her softly but urgently moan "yeah, fuck me, don't stop, fuck me hard, harder, don't stop, harder."

She lay panting for long moments. Then after catching her breath, she adjusted her panties and t-shirt, pulled the covers back over, and rolled over on her side, the way she usually slept. I listened as her breathing became rhythmic, indicating she'd fallen asleep.

I couldn't get back to sleep though. I wondered who she'd fantasized about while she masturbated. Scott? Maybe Ricky? I didn't hold it against her. I beat off all the time. I hoped it was Ricky and not Scott. But I knew it was probably Scott.

I tried to prevent it, but I couldn't stop thinking about what'd happened. There was something going on between the two of them. Jen had a lot of guy friends, but she'd never pay so much attention to a guy friend or disappear with one of them like she'd done at the wedding and Hamptons. It bothered me when she'd said "I just like him, we're buds." I'd rather she'd said, "I fucked him but I know he's a jerk." 

Something was going on between them. I tried to think of ways to get control of the situation. Set it up so he fucks her? I'd done that with Ricky, so I knew how. Maybe if they fucked she'd get him out of her system, like with Ricky. It might take some time and it would hurt, but that was better than this budding romance that was going on.

But it'd be harder to set up with Scott than with Ricky. Ricky and I were friends -- at least, we started that way. I despised Scott, and he probably felt the same about me. I couldn't imagine offering Jen to him, sharing her with him. 

I decided to let things play out. Scott was an ass. She'd eventually figure that out, and stop hanging with him At least that was my hope.

Later that week Jen and I were going out to dinner. I was looking forward to it because I didn't feel we'd completely reconnected since the Hamptons (or since the wedding for that matter). We planned to meet at the restaurant, but I took off early so we could meet and taxi over together. I got to her building and went up the elevator to her floor. It was past 6pm so the receptionist was gone, but of course I knew the way so I walked to her office. 

As I approached I saw Jen's door was closed. But then it opened -- I think it was Jen who opened it.

I heard voices and I immediately recognized them. It was Jen and Scott. They were talking about a client project -- they must be on the same team -- but as they talked there was a lot of laughing and easy banter, just like the wedding and the Hamptons. 

I silently approached and I could just see them. They were facing sideways so couldn't see me.

"How about this?" Scott said, holding up a box of strawberry Pop-Tarts and taking on a terrible fake British accent. "I say good boy, I do love poppy tarts, like strawberries and cream at Wimbledon."

"Oh that's SOOOO good I'm sure Johnny will FREAKING love it," Jen said with playful sarcasm, laughing. I knew Jen was working on a huge pitch for Kellogg, the maker of Pop-Tarts, and Johnny was her boss. I didn't know Scott was on her team.

"The chap Johnny will BLOODY love it you mean," Scott added in his fake British accent.

"Stop!" Jen said laughing, hitting him on the chest.

He grinned at her. "You say stop a lot, but I don't think you really mean it."

Jen looked away almost demurely. She brushed her blonde hair behind her ear. "Just stop okay?" she said.

"I'd never been to the Hamptons before, it was pretty cool," he said.

"Freaking amazing," Jen agreed.

"I had a really good time," he said looking into her eyes.

"Me too." They were silent looking into the other's eyes, as if both remembering something they'd done together that weekend.

"You left early," Scott finally said.

"Yeah ... Mike got kinda upset."

He nodded, as if understanding. "Is he okay now?"

"I think so." A pause, as if thinking whether to say more. Then she added, "Sometimes he can be hard."

"Only sometimes?" Scott said with a big grin. Was he comparing himself to me?

Jen gave what seemed to be a nervous laugh, again brushing her blonde hair behind her ear. "You know what I mean," she said. Was that a blush?

Scott got serious. "Are you happy with him?"

Jen paused again. Then she said "I met him in college ..." Her voice trailed off.

I backtracked out of the office and took a taxi to the restaurant. I was a swirl of so many emotions. I ordered a double scotch at the bar. About 30 minutes later Jen walked in. I was already on my second double scotch. 

She kissed me and saw the scotch. "Started without me?" she asked with a smile. I ordered her a Cosmo. I picked up my glass to take another swig. Jen stopped me by putting her hand over the glass. "Wait for me to catch up cowboy," she said.

The bartender brought her Cosmo. She raised her glass to clink with me, the way we always did. "Are you okay?" she asked seeing my face.

I felt hurt and confused inside. But I forced a smile. "Sure," I lied.

When she'd sat, her skirt had risen revealing a wisp of her lacy stocking top. She pulled her skirt down as she crossed her legs. All of her skirts were short (above her knee), but this one was shorter, really a mini-skirt. That surprised me, because she usually wore longer skirts to work. Had she worn the sexier skirt because she knew she'd be working with Scott today?

Then I noticed a run in her stockings. It started under her skirt. My eyes followed the run from her thigh to where it ended at her knee. Her stockings were scuffed at her knees. My mouth went dry.

Had she gone down on Scott in her office? Gotten down on her knees and put his cock into her mouth? Is that why her knees were scoffed? And did he fucked her after she got him good and hard? Push her face down on the desk and ram his big cock into her? I remembered what she'd moaned the other night as she masturbated. "Yeah, fuck me, don't stop, fuck me hard, harder, don't stop, harder." Is that what she said to Scott as he fucked her?

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked me again.

"Yeah," I managed to say my throat dry. I took a gulp of my scotch, the fire in my throat matching that in my crotch. "Hard day at work."

"I'm sorry baby," she said brushing her hand across my cheek.

I touched her thigh and she looked down seeing the run. "I wonder when that happened?" she said in a neutral voice, her face showing no emotion.

Impulsively I pulled her to me and kissed her hard on the mouth. I pushed my tongue into her mouth. 

She squirmed away from me, laughing. "What's gotten into you?" she giggled. 

When we got home after dinner she went into the bathroom. "I'll be right back, I'm going to take a quick shower," she said.

It wasn't unusual for her to take a shower before bed, but she didn't do it often either. Was she showering to wash Scott off her before getting in bed with me?

She came out in her favorite fluffy robe, and laid next to me. "Hi," she said looking at me.

"Hi," I said back.

She looked into my face. I guess I looked troubled. "Are you okay?"

No, I wasn't okay, my head was still spinning from earlier. But my cock ached it was so hard. So I answered her by putting my hand on her stomach, on top of her robe. I pulled the cord to undo the knot, then I opened her robe. She was nude underneath. 

I looked at her body, studied her, looked for clear evidence of her cheating. Marks on her neck or breasts. Swollen nipples. Puffy pussy lips. There weren't any, but I knew she'd cheated on me. I just knew. Gone down on Scott. Fucked him. 

"Mike?" she said.

Anger welled up in me. She was mine, not his! Her body, her heart, all of her, she was mine! I got on top of her to take what was mine. Without any foreplay I rammed my cock into her. She yelped in pain, her pussy barely wet. I pumped her hard and fast. I could tell she wasn't enjoying it, but at that moment I didn't care. Images of her and Scott came into my mind. She was on her knees in front of him, her lips and hands around his cock, her hands and blonde head moving back and forth on his shaft, his head rolled back moaning, his pelvis pushing back against her pretty face as she blew him, her knees scuffling against the floor laddering her nylons.

I grunted and came. I'd been inside her less than a minute. "Get off," she said pushing against me. "What's with you tonight?" she asked anger and annoyance in her voice.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Well don't do it again," she chastised me. Then she tied up the robe and pulled up the blanket, turning to her side to sleep. The robe told me she was in no mood to be touched much less spooned. 

I felt terrible. I'd forced myself on her, given her pain instead of pleasure. I thought how inadequate I must seem to her, especially compared to Scott. I was sure he got her wet before entering her, I was sure he fucked her long and hard and made her cum at least once and maybe multiple times. I was a rough jerk and then popped like an acne faced teenager.

The next morning I woke up when she touched my arm. She was already dressed, looking amazing as usual in a designer dress that hugged her curves in a classy way, making her look both sophisticated and sexy.

"I've gotta go," she said, "We have an early Kelloggs meeting. I'll probably have to work late."

"Do you want me to make you something for dinner?"

She shook her head. "We'll probably grab something."

I wanted to apologize about last night, but I didn't know how to start. She looked at me a moment more and then got up and said, "Don't wait up for me, I probably won't get home until late." She kissed me and then was gone.

After she left, I lay in bed thinking about what I'd heard in her office. From their conversation it was pretty clear they'd fucked in the Hamptons. If they fucked there, they probably also fucked at the wedding. She'd lied to me twice.

"Are you happy with him?" Scott had asked. And Jen said "I met him in college."

Not "I met him in college and I know we'll always be together."

Or "I met him in college and I've loved him ever since then."

Not even "I met him in college -- we're going through a touch patch right now but we're going to work through it."

No, she'd said just "I met him in college." What the fuck does that mean? That she got married too early? That she made a mistake marrying me? That she should have waited because she now realizes I'm not the man for her? That she loved me then but not any more?

I walked to work, needing the fresh air. But it didn't help, I felt heart stricken the entire day.

She got home around midnight. She was surprised to see me awake. "You didn't have to wait up."

"I wanted to see how Kellogg is doing. I know your presentation is tomorrow."

"You're sweet," she said, sounding tired and distracted. "It's getting there, but we need more work tomorrow morning before the meeting." She went into the bathroom to take a shower. I willed myself not to think about what that might mean.

She came out a few minutes later with my old t-shirt she wore to bed. She got under the covers. I kissed her cheek. "Thanks baby," she said tiredly. Then I kissed her neck, her shoulder, her hip. I wanted to go down on her. I didn't care if I got an orgasm or not, I just wanted to make up for last night. 

But she pushed me off. "Not tonight honey. I'm really stressed."

"I know how to relieve your stress," I said with a grin.

"No baby I really need to sleep."

Her tone was final so I relented. I turned off the light as she rolled to her side. I spooned her and she didn't push me away. Well, that was something. 

Jen called the next day around 6. "Kelloggs loved our presentation!" she said jubilantly. "They hired us on the spot!" 

I was so happy and proud of her, and told her so. She told me her team was going out to celebrate. I felt anxiety churn inside me because that meant she'd be with Scott, but I didn't say anything of course. 

Just before midnight I heard voices and laugher at the door. I opened the door and found Jen giggling and fumbling with her keys. She was clearly drunk. She wasn't alone, Scott was there. He had his arm around her. His arm was probably the only reason she was still on her feet, but still I didn't like seeing him hold her. Jealousy flared in me.

"I wanted to make sure she got home alright," he said. He didn't sound drunk. I nodded to him and took her from him.

She stumbled into my arms, almost slipping in her high heels. "We bagged Kellogg!" Jen drunkenly slurred excitedly to me.

"I know you told me," I said smiling. "I'm so proud of you."

"It wasn't just me it was Scott too" she said and she stumbled back over to him. "You sir are freaking amazing!" she said pointing a finger into his chest.

Then suddenly she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

She was drunk so it was an awkward kiss. But he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. Soon her drunken clumsiness was gone, and they were kissing passionately. He squeezed a hand between their bodies and fondled her breast. She moaned and ran a high heeled foot up his calf. Caressing her breast with one hand, he moved his other hand and fondled her ass. Then he used that hand to raise her skirt. The breast hand came down and cupped her pussy. She moaned into his mouth.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!" I yelled angrily pulling my wife away from him. Jen panted as I held her and looked longingly at Scott. 

I had an awkward hold on her and she fell to the floor. It was a soft landing though, she didn't hurt herself.

Scott stood there in front of me and smiled like the arrogant ass he is. "I don't think she wants me to stop," he said smugly.

Anger boiled in me and I swung a fist at him. I'm not a fighter. He easily side stepped my punch and pushed me aside. He was a big guy and could probably kick my ass, but I didn't care. I was getting ready to punch again but Jen yelled "stop stop" and she wrapped her arms around me.

"Get the fuck out of my house," I growled at him in a low dangerous voice. 

He left, but even as the door closed he still had that smug smile on his face.

I dragged Jen to our bedroom and threw her on the bed. I threw her legs open and got between them. "Have you fucked him?" I screamed at her like a mad man.

"No," she said, looking scared

"You swear? You haven't fucked him?" 

"I swear!"

I leaned close to her and looked into her eyes. "You swear to god?"

"I swear to god, I haven't."

I ripped off her panties, making her yelp. I rammed my cock into her. She was soaking wet this time. I fucked her hard. "You wanted this from him, didn't you?" I demanded.

"No, I want you, you!"

"Liar!" I screamed at her. "Just fucking admit it damn you admit it!"

I came moments later. Once again she'd gotten nothing out of our sex. My orgasm hadn't been good either, although I felt empty. I was an emotional mess. I buried my head in her blonde hair and wept. She stoked my hair and we fell asleep that way.

The next day she woke up with a massive hangover. We both called in sick and I took care of her. By early evening she was feeling better. 

We lay in bed on our sides looking into the other's eyes. She took my hand. "I'm sorry I kissed him." When I didn't say anything she added "I was drunk."

She could tell I didn't believe her. She looked down, not able to meet my gaze. Finally she said, "We made out in the Hamptons."

Then the story came out. They'd walked towards the big house, away from the rest of the group. They talked a long time. She felt a connection with him, from the first moment she met him at the wedding. He felt it too. Eventually he pulled her to him. She resisted at first, but then she gave in. They kissed and fondled. He unbuttoned her cover-up, pulled down her bikini top, touched her bare breasts. She reached into his bathing suit and stroked him. 

He moved his hand to her bikini bottoms, cupping her mound. When he touched her there she realized what was happening. "We can't do this," she said.

Later that night in the loft bedroom she couldn't sleep. She went to him in the dark and covered his mouth with her hand. "It's me," she whispered. She took him by the hand to the bathroom, and closed the door. "We have to be quiet," she whispered putting a finger to his lips, and then she got on her tiptoes and kissed him. He kissed back and fondled her. She pulled away just long enough to pull off my old t-shirt. She'd taken her panties off before going to him, so now she was completely nude for his eyes. He kissed and fondled her everywhere. She moaned into his mouth and stroked him. He lifted her onto the basin and he stepped between her open legs. She reached between them and stroked him. "Do you have a condom?" she asked. 

He shook his head. "It's back with my pants."

"Fuck," she said. 

"I'll go get one," he said, but she held him back and shook her head. There were too many people in the house and they were lucky to not have already gotten caught.

"You're not on the pill?" he asked. She shook her head. We weren't sure if we were ready to start a family but we were talking about it, so she'd gone off the pill a few months ago.

"I'll pull out," he assured her. She told me she was tempted, but a little bit of good sense remained among her wild passion.

"We can't," she told him. He looked disappointed. "I'll take care of you," she whispered, and she slid to her knees. She went down on him and he came in her mouth.

Afterwards he lifted her back to the basin. It was his turn to get down on his knees. She gripped the back of his head as he made her cum with his tongue. "Does he eat you out as good as me?" I asked bitterly, moisture welling up in my eyes.

"Mike ..."

"Is that why you blew me in the car? Because you felt guilty?"

When she didn't answer, I hissed, "Is it?!"

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she nodded yes.

"That wasn't the only time, was it?"

She shook her head.

"You did it before we had dinner." It was a statement of fact, not a question.

She nodded.

"You knew I knew."

"I thought you did," she admitted.

"So you lied last night. You even swore to god."

"Oral sex isn't fucking!" she said pleadingly. 

I gave her a what the fuck look.

"You scared me so much Mike," she cried tears rolling down her cheeks.

"But you wanted to fuck him, didn't you? Didn't you?"

She couldn't deny it. If he'd had a condom she would have let him fuck her. She nodded her head as she cried.

I watched her cry, and then I couldn't help myself, I pulled her to me and comforted her. We held each other in silence for a long time, way after it got dark.




All In My Head Ch. 02



She told me more of the story. She'd felt immense physical attraction from the moment they met at the wedding. But it wasn't just physical. The more they talked, the more she liked him. There was a real connection between them. 

"But he's such an ass Jen," I said.

"Mike, I know you think that but it's not true, he's really nice, I mean, everyone likes him at work." When she saw the hurt in my eyes, she said gently, "I'm sorry baby but you want me to tell the truth."

"You purposely didn't wake me up so you could be with him, right?" When she hesitated, I said bitterly, "You might as well tell me, you've told me everything else."

She nodded yes. 

"Did you even try to wake me up?" I said the bitterness laced in my words.

She looked down. I had my answer. She began sobbing again. This time I didn't move to comfort her. "I'm so sorry I hurt you," she sobbed. "I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know why I did this." She sounded both sad and frustrated at the same time. 

"There's something wrong between us," I said, voicing what I'd been thinking for a while now. 

"What are you saying?" she said. In the moonlight I saw fear in her eyes. Did she think I was about to tell her I wanted a divorce? Maybe she was just as afraid of losing me as I was of losing her. The possibility made me feel better.

"I don't know," I said, feeling inadequate. "You're not getting everything you need from me."

"No baby," she protested hugging my arm.

"It's true," I insisted. "If you were, you wouldn't have fallen for him."

"I haven't fallen for him."

"Jen ... come on ..."

We ended the night by making love. It was slow and tender, with a lot of kissing and hugging. I came, and I think she did too. We fell asleep spooning.

A few weeks passed. Jen worked late often, getting the Kelloggs campaign going. I knew she was working closely with Scott. She told me nothing was going on between them, but there was an edginess to her, a tension. 

As the holidays approached I took Jen to our favorite restaurant. Afterwards we undressed each other and made out, but we hadn't made love yet. Instead we were laying on our sides, looking into the other's eyes. With my fingertip I traced lines on her breast, circles around her nipple. She had her cum face on, but it wasn't because of what I was doing. She had looked that way when I'd picked her up from work. "Did you see Scott today?" I asked.

She hesitated. "It's okay, I want to know," I assured her.

She thought a moment. Then she said "Like we're playing the Game?"

"Yeah, like that," I said. I hadn't been thinking about it in those terms, but talking about it in the context of the Game made it easier for both of us. "What happened today?"

"He came to my office early. He gave me an early Christmas present."

"What was it?"

"A bustier. I gave it back to him."

"What'd he say?"

"He said he wanted me to have it. He said it'd make him feel good if he knew I wore it sometimes, even if he never saw me in it, even if I only wore it for you." 

"He said that?"

"Yeah."

"Did you keep it?"

She hesitated. "It's alright," I assured her.

"Yeah."

"Do you have it here?"

"It's in my bag."

"Will you put it on for me?"

"Really?" she asked. She reached down to my crotch. Feeling me hard, she said "okay."

She got up and came back a moment later with a pink strapless bustier. 

"I'm going to turn on the light okay?" I said. I wanted to watch her put it on.

"Okay," she said, studying the bustier. It was the kind that laced in the back. She wiggled into it and then turned her back to me. She held up her long blonde hair. "You'll need to tie it."

I tightened the laces. I tied it off at the bottom. About an inch of her smooth skin showed from her shoulders to her waist, the laces crisscrossing all the way down. 

She turned to face me, letting her hair fall clumsily around her pretty face. The bustier pushed up her breasts so they swelled above the lace trim. "You looked amazing," I gushed. "Why pink?" I asked.

"He likes me in pink."

"I do too."

"I'll be sure to tell him tomorrow," she giggled. She went to her lingerie draw and picked out sheer off-white stockings. She rolled up one stocking into a ball. Then she put her right foot on the bed, put her foot into the stocking, and then rolled the stocking up her long leg. She attached the lacy welt to the garters attached to the bustier. She repeated this for her other leg.

She saw me practically panting and grinned at me. She went into her closet and came out with pink high heels. She stepped into them. 

Then she went to her dressing table and put on makeup, finishing with pink lipstick, the same color as the bustier and high heels. She brushed her hair. Then she turned to me and smiled. She did a pirouette so I could see all of her. "You like?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said my throat dry. I patted the bed beside me. "Come here."

She lay down and I ran my hands over her. I imagined Scott in Victoria's Secret, picking this out for her. I got between her legs. I wanted to make sure she came this time. She was pantyless and her bare pussy looked so good. 

Jen groaned as I went down on her. She shuddered a few minutes later as she came on my tongue. I mounted her. I knew I wouldn't last long, and I didn't, cummng after just a few strokes.

"Does he do that as good as me?"

"Go down on me?"

"Yeah."

"I haven't let him do that since --"

"I know," I interrupted, assuring her. "I meant when he did it back then."

"No. I mean ... I don't know. It feels so good it's hard to tell who's better."

We were quiet, holding each other close. Then I said, "In the Game you do what I say, right?" 

"Yes."

"You promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Wear this for him tomorrow."

"Really?"

"I want you to."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And let him feel your back so he knows you're wearing it. Tell him the truth when he asks why you're wearing it."

"I'll tell him you told me to."

"No, I mean, tell him it's because you want to wear it for him."

"Okay."

"Is that the truth?"

She paused, then said "I'm not sure."

"Okay," I said kissing her lips. "Wear that pink dress, you know, the one that's kind of loose but has the scoop top?"

"Yeah, okay, I know the one."

"If he asks to see the bustier, then turn around and hold up your hair the way you just did, and ask him to unzip you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. After he unzips you, turn around and let your hair fall just like you did for me."

"Okay. Then what?"

"What do you think he'll do next?"

"He'll probably want to kiss me."

"Do you want him to kiss you?"

She paused. "The truth?"

I nodded.

"Yes."

"Then what will he do?"

"He'll probably want to touch me."

"Yeah, that's what I'd want to do. Let him."

"Really?"

"You want him to, right?"

"I think so ... Does that make you mad?"

"Not mad ..."

"Jealous?"

"Yeah." I paused. "If we weren't together, would you fuck him?"

"Probably."

"Would you date him?"

She paused. "Probably. That bothers you, doesn't it?" 

"I can't help it."

"But it's okay if he fucks me?"

"Not really ... but it's different."

"I'm sorry."

"Just always tell me the truth okay?"

"I will."

"No more behind my back."

"I promise."

"You swear?"

"I swear."

We were quiet, and then I said "Don't let him fuck you, okay?"

"Okay."

"I can't handle that yet."

"I won't."

"I love you."

"I love you too baby," she said.



All In My Head Ch. 03



She didn't wear the bustier the next day, or the day after. We talked a lot about what we were feeling, what we wanted. Finally, she put on the bustier the next week. That day I was useless at work, I could only think about what they were doing. It got so bad I beat off twice in the bathroom. 

She wore a big smile when she got home. We kissed and went straight to our bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and she turned her back to me. "Unzip me?" she said.

I lowered the zipper of the pink dress. "Is this what Scott did?" I asked excitedly.

She let the dress fall to her feet, and then she turned to face me. God she looked so hot in the bustier. "You hope he did, don't you?" she asked with a sparking smile.

"Did he?" I insisted.

She pushed me down on the bed and straddled my crotch. She rubbed her pussy against the tent in my pants. "I need this bad," she moaned.

Her panties were wet. "Are you hot because of Scott or me?"

"Which do you want?" she asked.

"Scott!" I said lustfully.

"You're so predictable," she laughed. She leaned down and kissed me, and we made out.

"Did he kiss you like this?" I moaned.

She unbuttoned my shirt and then lightly ran her manicured nails down my chest, making me moan more. "You're so much fun to tease," she said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Nothing happened?"

She leaned down and kissed me again, pushing her tongue into my mouth so as to invite my tongue in hers. We kissed and our tongues danced, my tongue twirling against hers in her mouth. She broke off the kiss and moved her lips to my ear. "You can't taste him in my mouth?" she whispered hotly into my ear.

"God!" I groaned. I felt lightheaded. "He came in your mouth?"

"Yeah," she whispered into my ear, and then sexily licked the inside of my ear. That always drives me crazy, my ears are really sensitive for some reason, and she knows it.

"When?"

"Just before I left work."

"Oh god!" I groaned. "You didn't let him fuck you, right?"

She moved up my body and straddled my head. "Do you think he did?" she asked softy running her fingers through my hair.

The thin material of her thong was wedged between her pussy lips and ass crack. I pulled it aside. She kept herself completely hairless down there, in fact years ago she had all the hair down there permanently removed except for a small patched above her clit that she kept neatly trimmed. 

Her pussy glistened with moisture and her clit and lips were swollen with excitement but I could tell she hadn't been fucked. I put my hands on her hips and pulled her down on my face. I licked between her pussy lips and swirled my tongue around her clit, caressing her ass with my hands. "God that feels so good!" she moaned her head rolling back.

I used the flat of my tongue to rub her clit. She came moments later. She must've been really hot to cum that fast.

Afterwards she moved off my head. "You're so freaking good at that," she said using a towel to wipe her juices from my face.

Then she snuggled into my arm. She lightly ran her finger tips up and down my chest and moved a stocking leg over my leg. I loved the feeling of her nylons rubbing against my skin.

"So tell me what happened."

"This morning I hung him hello."

"Do you always do that?"

"No. I wanted him to feel the bustier."

"Okay."

"But then I made sure not to see him all day."

"God you're such a tease," I admired. 

She smiled. "You know it."

"Then what happened?"

She cupped my hard dick with her hand, over my boxers. "I called him and asked him to come to my office."

"Yeah?" I said prompting her to tell me more.

"He sat on my sofa. I stood in front of him. He asked me if I was wearing it and I said I was. He asked if I wore it for him and I told him I did. He asked me how it felt, and I told him it made me feel really sexy. He told me to let him see it. I turned around and held up my hair. He unzipped me and pulled down my dress, and I turned back around. He told me I looked really good and he really liked me. I told him I liked him a lot too. I got down on my knees and gave him a blow job. Then he laid me on the sofa and ate me out."

"Did he try to fuck you?"

"Yeah, but I told him I wasn't ready for that." She pulled down my shorts and straddled me, and then she lowered herself on my cock. She'd gotten me too hot to hold out, I came almost immediately. She moved off my cock and snuggled into my arms, her head resting on my shoulder.

"Did he hold you like this after?" 

She tenderly kissed my cheek. "A little bit."

"Did it feel good?"

She kissed my cheek again. "You know I like held."

"You like him a lot."

"Yeah."

"Are you falling in love with him?"

"I don't think so."

"You did with Ricky."

"Not like you," she said, kissing my lips and cheek.

A few minutes passed. Then she asked, "Are you okay baby?"

"I'm not sure," I said honestly. With my passion sated, I felt jealous and anxious. "Does he know I know?"

"I think he suspects."

"You haven't told him?"

"I wouldn't do that."

Later we made love. It was long and slow and tender. I think Jen came. Afterwards we held each other and fell asleep that way. The ironic thing was, I felt closer to her now than I had for a long time. We were talking more now, and making love more. And our sex was better. She was cumming on my cock and that made me feel good.

The next morning she told me she'd probably have to work late that night. "Will you be working with Scott?"

"Yeah, he's on my Kelloggs team."

I put my hand on hers. "I don't want anything to happen today."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry to be a control freak, I just need to process this."

"I get it baby."

"Do you think you can resist him?" I asked. I grinned to make it a joke, but I was serious too.

She rolled her eyes. "I think I can Michael." She only calls me Michael when she's annoyed or mad. But then she smiled to let me know she was joking.

Later that night we were in bed. I was on top of her, slowly fucking her. "Did he come on to you today?"

"Yeah."

"What did you do?"

"I told him no."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me why. I told him I wouldn't cheat on you."

I kissed her. I managed to avoid cumming until she came. I love looking at her pretty face when she cums, it's so sensual and beautiful.

I held her, her head resting on my chest. "Thanks for not doing anything."

"I love you Mike."

"I know but ... I can tell you're really into him." She didn't say anything, so I said, "Did you want to?"

She paused. "The truth?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, I did."

"He really has you under his spell, huh?"

She rose up on my chest, looking at me. She brushed my cheek with her hand. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay," I said, but I wasn't feeling okay. "Jack told me he's a real player. He fucked every girl in his sister sorority, even the ones with boyfriends."

"Scott told me that story. He's not like that anymore. I know you don't like him, but he's really nice." She saw the hurt on my face. "You want me to tell you what I'm thinking."

"Yeah, I do ..." I said my voice trailing off. I hated it when she defended him. "I was thinking," I said after a few moments. "Maybe we should all go out."

"Really?"

"Yeah -- it might be easier if he knew I knew." We talked about why. I said it would make it easier for her when she didn't do something he wanted, like today. And this way I could keep better tabs on what was going on, and I thought that would make me feel more secure.

Then we talked about how to do it. I told her our apartment was out of the question. That would probably lead to fucking, and I wasn't ready for that. We talked about going to a bar, but that would be awkward with 2 guys and just 1 girl. We'd learned that during the Ricky thing.

"What if Allie came along?" Jen suggested. "Then it'd be like a double date." She saw the inquiring look on my face -- me with Allie? "Not a real double date, not unless you want to lose this Mister," she said squeezing my dick a bit too hard. "But that's what it would look like."

It made sense -- but Allie? She didn't think much of me, and this situation was already too much emotionally for me to handle. Claire would have been the perfect choice, but after their wedding she and Sam had moved to LA so she could pursue her acting career.

"I don't know about Allie," I said voicing my concerns.

"Mike, she's not as bad as you think."

"So she knows everything?" By everything, I meant both Scott and Ricky, as well as the other guys we'd played the Game with.

Jen knew what I meant, and said hesitantly, "Yes -- I mean she's my best friend."

"That's okay," I assured her. "I was just wondering."

The next Thursday the four of us went to dinner. I was a myriad of emotions: lust and jealousy, excitement and anxiety. Jen and I hadn't had sex for a few days. It'd been my idea. I wanted to be really horny because lust dampens down the jealousy. 

After showing and putting on her makeup, she came over to me holding the bustier. "Scott asked me to wear this tonight."

"Okay," I said almost as if in a daze, my heart pounding.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "I won't wear it if you don't want me too."

"I want you too," I said, "Turn around." I laced up the bustier like before.

She wore the bustier like a top, with a mini-skirt, stockings and heels. She wore her blonde hair up and the bustier showed off her sexy shoulders and elegant neck. She looked incredible! 

She got down on her knees between my legs. She rubbed my hard-on over my pants. "I can take care of this for you," she said her glossy pink lipstick sparkling.

"No," I said. I didn't want her to think I was mad or rejecting her, so I explained "You know how I get kinda melancholy after I cum?" She nodded. "I don't want to get that way now." She slowly nodded, and I could see she understood.

When we arrived at the restaurant, Scott and Allie were already there. I thought it was going to be awkward figuring out how to pair up, but Scott immediately put his arms on Jen's hips and kissed her, saying she looked incredible. When the maître-d arrived Scott took Jen's hand and went with the maître-d to the table. My jealousy grew at watching Scott and Jen holding hands. 

"Hi bubble boy," Allie said smiling, taking my arm and following the waiter. She'd called me bubble boy since college. I had no idea why. Whenever I asked she laughed and told me to ask Jen. When I asked Jen, she'd laugh too but wouldn't tell me. "Don't worry, it's not a bad thing," she always told me. It was like their private joke. I'd given up years ago trying to get them to tell me what it meant. 

Scott was charming at dinner and dominated the conversation. Jen and Allie didn't seem to mind, they laughed at his jokes and seemed spellbound with his stories. He was charismatic and charming, which was probably why he was so good at advertising. 

I felt like a third -- I guess fourth -- wheel. Jen had eyes only for Scott. She tried to bring me into the conversation a few times, but each time she returned her attentions to Scott. 

Scott reminded me of Ricky. Ruggedly good looking, charismatic, tall and powerful, a man's man. Jen definitely was drawn to that type. I wondered how she ever fell in love with me. I guess I'm reasonably good looking, but I'm far from having a "beach body," and I'm quiet and introspective. No way could I compete with a captivating guy like Scott at dinner conversation. I think Jen forgot I was even there.

After dinner we moved over to the adjacent bar. As in the restaurant, I looked around and didn't see anyone we knew. We'd picked the bar because it was across town from where we normally hung out.

I think Jen sensed I was feeling left out, so she took my arm and we went to the dance floor. It was a slow dance. I put my arms around her waist and she put her arms around my neck. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," I lied.

"See, Scott's really nice," she said. She saw the reaction on my face. "That wasn't the right thing to say, was it?"

I shook my head, and I couldn't help grinning. 

"Gary's a nice guy," I said mentioning her older mentor at work. "I wish he was here instead of Scott," I joked, but I was half serious.

She paused as if making sure she said the next thing right. "I like Gary but I don't have feelings for him except as a friend," she said carefully. "You know that right?"

I nodded, not knowing where she was going with this.

"But if I ever fell in love with another man -- really in love -- it would be with a man like Gary," she said looking into my eyes. "You know why?"

I shook my head. 

Still looking into my eyes, she said, "Because he reminds me of you."

I stopped moving. Relief flooded through me. She'd said exactly the right thing. "Thank you," I said.

"It's true," she said kissing me.

Our tender moment was broken when a fast song came on and Scott jumped hog dogging onto the dance floor. He was purposely making a fool of himself and Jen laughed. He pulled her to him and they started dancing. Laughing, Jen reached for me but he playfully grinded against her and she was soon laughing even more and playfully slapping his hands away. Once again it was like I didn't exist to her. Our moment had passed and I felt the jealousy and anxiety returning.

Allie took my arm and led me off the dance floor. "Come on, we have to at least try to keep everyone thinking she's with him and you're with me," she said. 

"You must think I'm pathetic," I said once we were sitting at the table.

She laughed. "I never thought you, of all people, would turn out to be so demented!"

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"No," she said laughing again. Bitch.

Our attention turned to the dance floor. As they slow danced, Scott caressed Jen's neck as they looked into each other's eyes. I knew that would turn her on, her neck is one of her most sensitive erogenous zones.

"It really turns you on to see Jen with other men?" Allie asked amazed.

I turned to her. "So this is where you tell me I'm sick and perverted."

She laughed. "No, I'm just curious."

"Do you know the whole story?"

"I think so, but feel free to tell me your side of it."

"No thanks."

"I didn't think so," Allie said with another laugh. She was really enjoying this. She looked curiously at me. "I've heard about men like you, but you're the first one I've met."

I looked back at Jen and Scott. "Welcome to my hell."

"If it bothers you, why do you let her do it?"

"I don't think I can stop her."

She shrugged. "You were the one who let the genie out of the bottle. Opened Pandora's box. Got what you wished for --"

"Okay Allie I get it," I said cutting off her gleeful recitation.

Scott and Jen returned. We moved to the bar. I stood next to Jen and put my hand on her back as she sat on a stool. Scott talked about gossip at work, and soon the three of them where laughing and talking animatedly. Scott put his hand on Jen's knee. He looked at me and smiled. Jen let him keep it there.

After a while Jen realized I was being left out. She took my hand in hers. "Okay no more talking about work," she announced to everyone. Allie announced we should all do shots. She winked at me when she ordered 4 shots of sex on the beach. Bitch.

We downed those. Then Scott ordered vampire shots. "What are those?" Jen asked. Allie grinned, clearly knowing what they were. I didn't know either. I saw the bartender pour Chambord, vodka and cranberry juice into 4 shot glasses. 

Scott crushed a few sugar cubes onto the bar top, and then sprinkled some crushed sugar on Jen's shoulder right next to her neck. He had a mischievous grin on his face, and she was clearly intrigued. 

He took one of the shot glasses and downed the concoction, and then he lowered his head and sucked the sugar off Jen's neck. It must have tickled because Jen squealed and laughed delightedly. 

"Now your turn," Scott said. Jen took some crushed sugar and sprinkled it on Scott's neck as he had done to her. She took a shot glass and downed the shot, and then on her tip toes she sucked Scott's neck. They both laughed like college kids.

Scott looked at Allie since it was her turn. "No thanks," she said with an amused smile. She was clearly enjoying this. He looked at me but I just glared at him.

"Okay, I guess I'm up again," he said. He poured more sugar on Jen's neck. He downed a shot, and then sucked her neck again. Jen laughed again, but then his sucking went from playful to sensual. I saw it in her eyes as her arousal grew. His lips moved up her neck, and soon they were kissing, and the kissing turned to full blown making out. Jen let my hand go so she could put her arms around Scott's neck. I looked away. She was doing this right in front of me, in the middle of a bar. It turned me on, but it hurt so much. 

"Okay guys, get a room," Allie said, seeing the nearby bouncer frown. Jen and Scott finally broke apart. I wondered how far they'd have gone if Allie hadn't said something. 

"Okay Jen your turn again," he said handing the last shot glass to her. 

Jen was all smiles as she took the glass. She glanced at me, and saw my face. Her smile turned to concern. She reached for my hand but I wouldn't take it. She came over to me and said "Do you want to do one on me?"

"No I'm good," I said grateful my voice didn't crack with the emotions I was feeling.

"Come on Jen your turn," Scott repeated.

She put the still full glass on the bar. "I think we better get going," she said to Scott and Allie. "Do you mind if I say goodbye to Scott?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "Wait for me outside okay?" she said. She joined me 15 minutes later and we got into a taxi.

"Sorry about the vampire shots," she said looking at my face. 

"No problem," I said, keeping my gaze ahead, not looking at her.

"I mean it, I let it get out of control," she said.

I shrugged, pretending to be unconcerned. "You were his date tonight. No worries, it's all good."

"I wasn't his date," she said, rubbing my arm. "I should have done the shot with you. At least the first one."

"Don't do me any favors, okay Jen?" I said, the bitterness coming out. My words hurt her. We drove the rest of the way in silence.

At home she let down her hair. She stood at a mirror and brushed it. I came up behind her and looked at her in the mirror. There was a hickey on her neck where he'd done the vampire shots. I touched it with my finger.

Jen saw where I was touching. "Sorry, I didn't know he did that," she said. 

I looked into her eyes in the mirror. "Why'd it take 15 minutes to say goodbye to him?" 

She frowned at me. "So now you want to play the Game?" she said irritation creeping into her voice. 

I deserved that. "You're right, I don't know what I want," I admitted. I went into our home office and sat down, staring off into the distance. I was so conflicted by this I couldn't think straight, and I was frustrating the hell out of Jen.

She came in a few minutes later and sat in my lap. "You're difficult sometimes," she said, but there was no heat in her voice, and she tussled my hair.

"Do you think it'll ever be just you and me?" I asked her.

She put her arms around my neck, her fingers lightly caressing the back of my head. "Is that what you want?"

I thought about it. "I'm not sure. I guess I don't think you'd be happy with just me."

"It was just us for a long time," she said.

"Yeah, but ... that was before Ricky. And it's hard to put the genie back in the bottle."

She thought a moment, as if knowing what she wanted to say, but not how to say it. "Remember Cabo?" she finally said. "When we talked about moving out of the city and buying a cute house with a big yard, and having kids and watching them grow up, and holding hands and walking on the beach when we got old and gray?"




All In My Head Ch. 03



I nodded, remembering that vacation in Cabo. It'd been after we'd gotten back together after the Ricky thing, and we'd spent the entire time making love and talking about our dreams of being together forever. It had been a really good time.

She kissed me on the lips. "I still want that. Do you?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Isn't that all that matters?" she said looking into my eyes.

"Yeah. But it still hurts."

"I know," kissing me again. "But isn't that part of the excitement for you?"

I couldn't help smiling. She knew me really well. "Yeah."

"You just have to remember, when I'm old and gray it'll be your hand I'm holding."

"Okay."

"You're okay?"

"Yeah, I think." She kissed me and we made out for a while. When we stopped we were both breathing hard.

I reached up and traced the swell of her breast with my fingertip. The bustier made her look bigger than she was, and I followed her cleavage with my finger.

"That feels good," she whispered.

"You look really good in this."

"Thank you."

"Did Scott think so?"

"Yeah."

"He told you?"

"Yeah." We made out some more.

"Do you want me to tell you what I did when I said goodbye to him?" she asked. "I don't want to hide anything."

"I think I know what you did. You got him off."

She looked surprised. "How did you know?"

"Remember that time in college you interviewed at Google?"

"Yeah, for a marketing job."

"We fooled around before you left for the airport. I wanted sex but you didn't want to because you were about to get on a 5 hour flight. But you gave me a blowjob. You said you loved me too much to leave me like that."

"Yeah I remember," she said, smiling off into the distance as she remembered back.

"So I knew you wouldn't leave Scott with blue balls. Because you care about him." It hurt to say that, but I knew it was true.

"I do care about him," she admitted. "But I don't love him."

"Maybe not yet."

She put a finger to my lips. "Don't do that to yourself Mike."

A pause. Then I asked "How did you get him off?"

Jen got off my lap. She pulled up her skirt (it was too tight otherwise) and straddled my legs. She put her arms around my neck and moved her mouth close to my ear. I felt the silky strands of her hair on my face. "I started with my hand," she breathed into my ear. "Then he pushed me down on my knees. I took him out and sucked him. He was kind of rough. He grabbed my hair and forced my head up and down. He was mad I didn't do another shot."

"Wanna know something?" I asked.

"Yes."

"I got really hot when you did the shot on him."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And this really turns me on," I added, rubbing the hickey he'd put on her neck. "Part of me hoped you'd do another shot with him, and then make out again."

"Oh my god that got so out of control," she laughed remembering looking embarrassed. 

"The bouncer almost threw you and Scott out," I grinned.

She laughed. Then she kissed me and we made out again. "Did he make you cum?" I asked after we stopped.

"No. You were waiting."

"But you wanted him to," I said. She didn't say anything but I knew she did.

I ran my hands up her back, feeling the stiff ribbing of the bustier. 

She pulled my hands off the bustier and kissed them. "Can I tell you something?" she asked hesitantly. "You know I told you he got mad when I wouldn't do another shot with him?"

I nodded.

"To make him feel better, I told him from now on I'll only wear this bustier for him."

I paused processing this. "Okay," I finally said my heart pounding.

"Are you upset?"

"Yeah ... but turned on too."

"Yeah?" she breathed into my ear. "Does it turn you on if I do some things only for him?"

"Yeah."

"Can I tell you something else?"

I nodded. 

"I told him I'd ask you if I can fuck him."

I paused again, looking into her eyes. "Do you want to?"

"Yeah, I really do." She had her cum face on.

Another long pause. "Then I guess so," I said.

"Really?" she said unable to hide her excitement. "When?"

"How about next weekend?"

"Honestly?" she said. "I don't think I can wait that long."

"Then when?"

"Can we invite him to dinner tomorrow?"

By this time we were both panting hard. I nodded yes. Then I asked "Does he have a big cock?"

She nodded. "Really big."

"How big?"

She slid off my legs and got on her knees. She pulled my pants and boxers down, and then wrapped my hard cock in her hand. "Scott's about this long," she said pointing a finger to a spot about 5 or 6 inches above my cockhead. I'm about 5 inches (I know, small) so that would make him at least 10 inches, maybe more. Then she used the fingers of both hands to make a circle around my shaft, about 2 inches across.

"Wow," I said.

She nodded, slowly stroking me. She said "Wanna know what else I said?"

I nodded. 

"I said it when I was going down on him, to get him excited," she said. "I didn't really mean it."

"What'd you say?"

She kissed my cock. Then she said "I told him I wouldn't let you inside me tonight." My breath caught and my cock pulsed. She was holding my shaft so she felt it. She eyed me with a curious smile and stroked my cock up and down.

"Tell me your pussy belongs to him," I moaned my lusts taking over.

"My pussy is Scott's."

"And I can't fuck you until he does."

"I'll never let you inside me again, not until Scott fucks me."

"And even then I'm so small you won't be able to feel me."

"Scott will stretch my pussy so much I won't be able to feel you, and after he stretches me I'll never be able to cum with you again because you're so small."

"Stop," I said grabbing her wrist to stop her from stroking me anymore. "I don't want to cum yet. Call Scott up and invite him for tomorrow, and tell him everything you just said to me."

She grinned at me, amazed by my kinkiness, but clearly getting into it. She got her iPhone and dialed Scott's number. She pulled her hair behind her ear and then put the phone to her ear. She turned away from me so I looked at her back while she spoke to Scott.

"Hey you. I wanted to tell you, you left a hickey on me. (Laughter) You did! I'll show you tomorrow. Mike? He didn't like it. No he didn't. (More laughter) He's asleep now. He's okay I guess. I told him about the bustier. Yeah I did. He got mad. We kinda got into a fight. I got him off and we made up. (giggles) With my hand. Yes, my mouth too. He is my husband you know. (Laughter). You're so bad. Guess what? What are you doing tomorrow night? Wanna come over? Yes I asked him. He did! I think he knew he had no choice because I was going to jump your bones soon no matter what he said. God I want you inside me too! I wish you were here right now. Don't worry I won't. I said I won't. Scott I won't (laughter -- then serious). Scott, I promise I won't let him inside me until then. I'll keep myself all fresh for you. (giggles) Yes, I'll let him fuck me after you, I mean, hello, he's my husband. (giggles) Do you know Ricky? Yeah, it's true, I did kinda have a fling with him. But it was a long time ago. You won't tell anyone, right? (giggles) Okay, you can tell him. I just don't want our parents to find out, okay? Anyway, after Ricky fucked me, I couldn't even feel Mike! Cause he's small. Don't tell him I told you that okay? Cause I don't want to hurt his feelings, that's why. (giggles) I've got to go, I think he's waking up. Can you be here around 7 tomorrow? I can't wait either. Bye."

Jen hung up the phone and turned to me. She pushed her hip against me, as if wanting me to put my arms around her waist. I did.

"How was I?" she asked.

"Perfect," I managed to say, my throat dry with excitement. "Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah."

"Hearing you say those things really turn me on. But only say things that are true, okay?"

"Okay." She got on her knees again and wrapped her hand around my cock. "Want me to tell you some true things?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"It's not just because he asked. I want to wear this bustier for Scott and not you, you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because it makes it more special for him, and I want to make him feel special because I like him." She studied my face. "Does that upset you?"

"Yeah."

"Bad upset or good upset?"

Her words had hurt but excited me too. "Good upset I guess."

"Good," she said kissing the top of my cock. "Wanna hear another one?"

"Yeah."

"I thought Scott was really cool when he sang at Karaoke. I thought you kinda wimped out when you didn't. You kinda embarrassed me."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry. It bothered me. I've been wanting to tell you."

"I'm glad you're telling me," I said.

"Yeah?"

"It's better you tell me these things, I want to know."

"Okay."

"Can I ask you a question?" I said.

"Yes."

"You promise to tell me the truth no matter what?"

"Okay."

"Do you fake orgasms with me?"

She kissed my cockhead again. "Don't you know that's a question you never ask a girl?" she joked. 

"Come on, answer my question."

"I love sex with you Mike. You're so hung up about orgasms. Sex isn't all about that. I feel connected to you when we make love."

"So what you're saying is you don't cum when we have intercourse, you fake it."

"I'm not saying that."

"You said you'd tell the truth."

"I am."

"Yes or no, and you're still on the truth serum -- do you cum on my cock?"

"Okay, that's a really crude way to say it, but the answer is yes."

"All the time?"

She rolled her eyes. "Mike, no girl cums all the time, and no guy can make a girl cum all the time. It doesn't happen."

I nodded. "Okay, fair enough," I said. "You know, I could talk to you forever."

"Me too," she said. "But maybe we should go to bed soon. I need my beauty sleep." She was still lightly stroking my cock. "Do you want me to make you cum?"

"Yeah."

She lowered her head and took me into her mouth. It took effort not to roll my head back, but it was so sexy watching her blonde hair shift around as she bobbed up and down. I reached down and cupped her breast over the bustier.

She stopped and pushed my hand away. "No, you can't do that remember? It's Scott's."

"Oh yeah," I said. She was really serious about this. 

"You'll never see me in it again, unless I'm with him."

"Okay."

"Next time we go to the karaoke place, I'm going to wear it for him. But you won't see it then because you won't be there. I'll be with him and not you."

"I'll see it when you get dressed in the morning."

"No -- not if I'm spending nights with him then."

"Jen --"

"What?"

"It's too much."

"So? Do you really think I care about hurting your feelings?

"God --"

"Scott owns my pussy Mike."

"Only until tomorrow."

"No -- if he fucks me really good I might never want your little cock again."

"God Jen --"

"You never make me cum anyway. You know I fake it don't you? You're too small to do anything for me. It's not just how small you are. You're a terrible lover. You're the worst I've ever had."

"Ugh god Jen!" I cried and I came all over her hand.

A little later we were in bed, lying on our sides, looking at each other. "You know I was making all that up," she said.

"Yeah. Some of it was true though."

She grinned. "You really liked it, huh?"

"Yeah. The humiliation thing really gets to me sometimes."

"I think I've figured that one out," she giggled. "We can do it again, you know, I think I've got you figured out." She yawned. "But not tonight baby, I really need to sleep."

"Yeah ... Scott's coming over tomorrow."

"Yeah, Scott" she agreed. She kissed me, then rolled over on her side. I spooned her and she hugged my arm, and we fell off to sleep. 



All In My Head Ch. 04



Jen decided to take the day off. She wanted to buy a new outfit and make dinner for him. Normally I cooked because she liked to work out after work. 

I offered to take off too and spend the day with her. She thought about it, and then shook her head no. "No, I don't think Scott would like that." To take the sting out of it, she added "Come home around 5, and you can help me pick out what to wear."

Of course this made me jealous, but all our talking helped me deal with it. I started thinking about her infatuation with him like a roller coast. It was dangerous and scary, but it'd eventually be over so enjoy the ride.

I found out later they talked at least a half dozen times during the day. More laughing and easy banter, a lot of excited talking about the upcoming evening, but also talking about their shared interests of music, travel, the outdoors, and theater. Scott liked to gamble so he taught Jen the rules of craps. Jen liked modern art so she talked to Scott about her favorite museums. 

These were the discussions that got me most concerned. If it had been just sex that wouldn't have been so bad. But they were making a real connection, developing a real relationship. The potential for something deep was greater with Scott than Ricky, because Scott was smarter and more well rounded than Ricky, so Jen could really relate to him on an intellectual level.

When I got home at 5 I was surprised to already see Scott there. They were sitting on the sofa with his arm around her, and she leaned into him with the easy comfort of a girlfriend with her boyfriend. She got up and kissed me. "Hi baby."

I decided not to go into why he was there so early. We could talk about that later. I shook his hand. It was awkward, but what else could I do?

There were two pizza boxes on the table. That didn't surprise me, Jen hates to cook, so she'd ordered pizza. But the dinner menu was the last thing on my mind.

I'd expect her to be wearing a slinky dress or super short skirt. But instead she wore skinny jeans, an off-the-shoulder top and high heels. Super sexy, but casual. He was dressed casual too (although he looked like he'd just stepped out of a GQ cover). I felt overdressed in my suit and was thinking about changing when Jen asked if she could talk to me. She guided me to the kitchen.

"Why's he here so early?" I asked.

"We were talking so much on the phone it was just easier for him to be here," she giggled. "I'll tell you more about it later. Don't worry, we haven't started without you."

"Okay," I said, not knowing how else to respond. "You look amazing by the way."

She smiled at me. "Thanks baby." Then she whispered. "Did you get condoms?"

My jaw dropped. Not really, but that's how I felt. "He didn't bring any?"

"I don't know, and I don't want to start and find out he doesn't have any." I remembered what happened in the Hamptons. She'd wanted to fuck him but he didn't have any condoms. She didn't want that disappointment tonight. "Can you go get some?"

"I guess so."

"Thanks!" she said appreciatively. "I promise we won't start without you."

I went to the drugstore down the street. We hadn't talked about birth control. Honestly this had been an emotional whirlwind and I hadn't thought about it. But this was a major big deal. We'd been thinking about starting a family, and decided to just let God decide. So Jen wasn't on the pill right now. And she grew up Catholic, so a morning after pill much less an abortion was out of the question. I didn't trust Scott to pull out. The asshole would probably get off making my girl pregnant, it would be the ultimate victory.

I got the largest condoms they had. I couldn't believe I was buying condoms for another man to fuck my wife. 

I decided at that moment I was going to fuck Jen as much as possible from that moment on, to get her pregnant. That would surely end this thing with Scott, whatever the "thing" was. Once she had a baby to love and care for, surely her urges for other men would go away, right? 

I'd convince her to quit her job and become a stay-at-home mom. I made more than enough, and I was in line for a lot of promotions. We'd talked about having a big family, 3 or 4 kids. I'd keep her barefoot and pregnant as long as possible. 

We'd move out of the city, getting her away from all the male vultures who hit on her all the time. She'd still get hit on, but I liked my chances better with grocery clerks and other suburban husbands and dads who (like me) didn't look like GQ models. 

There were still my demented cuckold fantasies to deal with. But I'd get counseling or something to control it. I swore to myself that Scott would be the last man (other than me) who would get a piece of my wife. He would be the last! We just needed to make it past Scott and this would be over.

When I got back Scott had his arms around Jen and they were making out. His hands were fondling her. Her hands were around his neck. She heard me and stopped. She pulled away from Scott and kissed me. "We were just kissing." She took the condoms from me. "Thanks." 

She moved towards our bedroom, no doubt to put the condoms in the nightstand. She kissed Scott on the top of his head. "Back in a flash," she said to him. That kiss -- the one of affection -- hurt more than the making out I'd seen.

She came out with a plastic bag. "I got this from someone at work," she said grinning. It was weed. I wondered who she got it from. Probably Allie.

"I'm out of practice," she giggled to Scott handing him the bag. He expertly rolled some joints. He lit it and offered it to Jen's lips. "Here you go Jenny Sue," he said smiling. Her middle name was Susan. Jennifer Susan Andrews. She hated being called Jenny, but she smiled when he said it.

He held the joint to her lips. She took a long drag, inhaling the sweet smoke deep into her lungs. She rolled her head back as the warmth spread through. "That's really good," she gushed.

"You look sexy as hell with your lips on a cigarette," he admired.

"You think so huh?" she said smiling into his eyes.

He took a long drag. "Yeah, that's definitely good shit." He offered the joint to her lips again. "Ready for another hit?"

She was about to take it when she stopped and looked at me. "Um, Mike, so you want some?"

I really didn't. I don't like the idea of mind altering drugs, even something as harmless as pot. I guess sometimes I can get a holier than thou attitude about it. But I remembered what she'd said about the karaoke. "Definitely," I said.

She looked a little surprised, but pleased to. That made me feel good, I'd made the right call. I took the joint and did as they'd done, a long drag and inhaling into my lungs. I'd smoked weed before but I certainly wasn't an expert. I ended up with a major coughing fit. Scott laughed. Jen punched him but it was playful and she laughed a little too. Whatever. 

We passed the joint around, and then another. We stopped at two, by then we were all buzzed. I felt really relaxed. Probably that's why Jen did it. 

Scott pulled Jen into his arms and kissed her. She kissed back, and then they were major making out. Scott caressed behind her ear and down her neck as he kissed her, making her moan into his mouth. He'd already found her sensitive spots. He kissed down her neck and along her bare shoulders. He cupped and fondled her breasts through her top.

He broke away to pull off his shirt. I could tell Jen was really impressed with his chest and arms. As they kissed again she caressed him as he caressed her.

He cupped and pressed his hand against her mound and she moaned. She followed his lead by rubbing him through his pants. As if by mutual silent agreement, they stopped touching each other's intimate parts, not wanting to rush the pleasure. They tenderly kissed and whispered to each other. After a while Scott got up, and then he helped her to her feet. She still had all her clothes on, even her high heels. They embraced and kissed some more. He whispered something to her, and she whispered back. Then she nodded. They kissed again and he walked half way to our bedroom, and then stood there waiting for her.

Jen came to me. "Mike, can you give us a little time alone?" she asked. "Just because it's the first time."

What could I say? "Alright," I said. I added, "He has to use a condom"

"I'll remember," she promised. "I'll come and get you in a little bit."

She gave me a kiss on the lips, and then went back to Scott. He put his arm around her. She put her arm around him and they walked into our bedroom. As he closed the door, Scott gave me the smuggest look. 

I stood motionless for a long time. My heart was broken and my cock rock hard. How was that combination even possible? I couldn't help myself. I moved close to the bedroom door. Apartment walls in New York City are thin. 

I heard whispers and kissing. A lot of kissing. I heard moans. I distinctly heard Jen say "God you're so big." It came out like a groan. I think that's when he penetrated her for the first time.

Later I heard her say "you feel so good." She said that a lot to him. That's when he was fucking her. Jen squealed and grunted and moaned. He was fucking her really good. She never made sounds like that when I fucked her.

I heard when she came. She said "Oh god you're making me cum!" Her moans became urgent and helpless. I heard her gasp "Oh gaaaaaaaawd." A little later I heard her say "Oh my god you're freaking amazing!"

Then I heard more kissing and whispering. Then after a bit it started all over again. He made her cum again. And then again? No, that wasn't possible. She couldn't cum three times in so short of time. But maybe she did. Maybe it'd been so long since she'd got fucked really good he was able to make her cum three times.

Then I heard Scott cum. I think maybe they switched positions and Jen got on top. "That feels real good," he said. I knew what she was doing. She was squeezing her pussy as she moved up and down on his shaft. She did it with me and it never failed to make me cum. 

His moans became more urgent and constant. I heard shuffling on the bed as he put her back into the missionary position so he could really fuck the shit out of her. His moans became raw and primal and I heard the bed slam against the wall over and over again. 

"I'm fucking cumming!" he cried.

"Oh yeah cum in me baby cum inside me!" Jen urged him.

I heard a massive long primal moan from him, and then another, and another. He was cumming inside my wife. I prayed to god she'd made him wear a condom. I prayed to god the condom hadn't fallen off or broken. 

I looked down and saw I'd cum on my hand. I hadn't even realized it but I'd taken out my cock and masturbated as they fucked. 

I cleaned myself and returned to the sofa, expecting Jen to come get me. I knew tonight wasn't over yet. They'd fuck again. But I wanted a few moments alone with her. I needed to hold her, I needed a little reassurance from her that it'd just been raw meaningless sex, that she still loved me, that she was still mine. 

But she didn't come out of the bedroom. Not 5 minutes later, or 10, or 30 minutes. I silently walked back to the bedroom door. They were laughing and talking inside. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I could tell it was excited animated talking. I got it. It was like after a big football game when you stood around with buddies and analyzed every play. They'd wanted each other for so long. And their sex had been so fucking good. They were talking about how fantastic the other had been, analyzing their sex. When you touched me there it felt so good. When you did that, god, no one's done that to me before. God when you did that I almost came right there. Oh my god I thought you'd split me wide open but then it felt so freaking good.

I went back to the sofa. I waited. Surely she'd come out to see how I was doing, right? They were in our bed. Pictures of us back in college, our wedding, our life together, they were all over our bedroom. There were tons of reminders of us in there, of me in there. She couldn't forget I was out here waiting, right? She'd come and see how I was doing. 

But she didn't come out. Instead, I heard sounds of sex again. They were going at it again. Scott had Jenny Sue Andrews in his arms, and he wasn't letting her get away. I put my head in my hands and did my best to keep from crying.

Maybe I dozed, I don't know. Maybe I was in a numb stupor. At some point I felt Jen softly shake my shoulder. "Hey you," she softly said. She wore a tender smile and jostled my hair. "Are you okay?" 

"No," I said truthfully. The clock said 1am. They'd been going at it for hours.

"We're almost done, okay?" she said rubbing my arm. 

"Okay," I said dumbly. At that point what else could I say?

Her hair was tussled and her make up gone. She looked radiant. She wore a short slinky silk robe, the one I gave her last Valentine's day but she hardly ever wore because she liked to snuggle into her big fluffy cotton robe. Her nipples were hard and dented the silk material. Her pretty feet were bare.

She got two big glasses of water. Then she picked up the joints. "I'll be back soon, okay?" she said. "I left you one, in case you want it." 

Then she left. I watched her walk back to the bedroom. As she approached Scott opened the door. He took the water and joints from her, put them someplace, and then pulled her to him. "I missed you," he said kissing her.

She closed the door. As it closed I heard her giggle, "I was only gone a minute."

I heard him give her a playful slap on the butt. "Okay lose the robe and put those high heels back on."

She laughed. "God you're so bad." Then the door closed.

Sounds of sex came from the room. I looked at the joint. What the hell. I smoked the entire thing and got high. It helped some as I listened to the bed shake and Jen's constant moans. I imagined their pillow talk. 

"Put on the high heels," he'd say. Jen would smile at him and hold her long blonde hair up above her head, the nipples of her perky tits rock hard. She'd step into one high heel and then the other. She'd do a sweet pirouette on her tip toes. "You like?" she'd ask. He'd pull her to him and she'd giggle. Then he'd kiss and fondle her and she'd get her cum face. "I want you inside me," she'd say. He'd tease her by rubbing his big cock head between her pussy lips. "Who's pussy is this?" he'd ask. "Yours," she'd say. 

I came, my head spinning from the pot and the sounds from the bedroom. 

I must have passed out. When I woke it was passed 7am. All was quiet. I approached the bedroom. I didn't hear anything. I slowly opened the door. They were asleep, both of them nude. Scott was on his back. His arm was around her, and she was snuggled into him, her head in the crook of his arm. One of her legs was over his, her hand on his chest. 

I sat back down on the sofa. On the shelf was a picture of us in Cabo. I was looking at the camera, and she was looking at me. We'd just gotten back together after Ricky, and had never been closer. We looked so together, so much in love.

Since then we'd become disconnected. We were out of sync. I didn't know why. I felt lost. I couldn't help it -- tears rolled down my cheeks.

A little later I heard stirring in the bedroom. Whispering and laughing. Then moans. They were fucking again.

Finally the bedroom door opened around 830. They'd fucked for over an hour. 

It was Jen. She came over to me. She looked tired but beautiful as always. She was wearing the fluffy cotton robe this time.

She knew she'd fucked up. "I'm sorry baby," she said reaching for my hand. I pulled my hand away and didn't look at her. 

She sat next to me, looking at me concerned. Scott called to her from the bedroom. "I'll be right back," she said. Right, I thought to myself.

"Come here babe," Scott said.

"You need to go Scott, Mike is really upset."

"Okay, but come on, one more time, I'll be quick."

"No Scott."

"Just give me a kiss then."

"Scott, please get dressed, you need to go."

As he got dressed, she came back and sat next to me. He came out of the bedroom and I sensed he was coming over to give her a kiss goodbye. She must have stopped him with her eyes. "Bye Scott, I'll see you Monday," she said.

"I had a great time," he said.

She smiled and nodded, but didn't say anything. A few seconds later the door opened and closed.

She sat next to me, looking at my face concerned. She tentatively leaned her head on my shoulder. When I didn't push her away, she put her arms around me. "I'm sorry," she said. "I let it get out of control."

"He must have really rocked your world to get you that way," I said. 

She heard the bitterness and hurt in my voice. "It was more like it was pent up," she said carefully. 

She kissed me. "Wait here," she said and she went into the bedroom. I heard her changing the sheets. "Come here Mike," she called to me. We lay down. I was on my back, and she was in my arm. How they'd been just a little earlier.

"Sometimes I think I'm a nympho or something," she said with a self-deprecating laugh. "I get into it and lose track of everything." 

She knew the things that hurt me most. We'd been through this with Ricky after all. "I didn't mean to sleep with him," she said. "Too much pot I guess," she said with a cautious smile.

She looked into my eyes. "Will you say something?"

I hurt a lot. But I didn't want to show it. I probably already looked pathetic to her, I didn't want to lose more of her respect. "I'll be okay," I said.

She looked at me, doubt on her face. But she didn't press. She hugged me, and I put my arms around her.

We got in the shower together. We soaped each other. She winced when I soaped her pussy and clit. "It's kinda sore," she said. No doubt he'd fucked her raw. I soaped her more gently. "That feels good," she said.

She got on her knees. She took my cock in her mouth. She sucked me, and then she got up and we made out, the shower falling onto us like a waterfall. She turned around to face the wall and bent at the waist. She reached back and guided me into her pussy. She looked over her shoulder at me. "A little gentle okay?" she said and then we kissed as I gently moved in and out of her. I came inside her.

We went to our favorite neighborhood bistro for a lazy Saturday morning brunch. As always, we bought newspapers and read and talked. We'd gotten the early Sunday edition of the New York Times, and the Times Magazine published the winners of a poetry contest. Jen loved poetry. With her love of old bands, she thought Bruce Springsteen was the greatest poet who ever lived. She read the poems to me, and we laughed and talked. 

There was a story about how Europeans were better travelers than Americans. "It's true," I said with a grin. "Americans are like superheroes in the US. But when we go overseas we lose our super powers. We can't charge our computers and our cell phones don't work. It's like Superman going back to Krypton." Jen kicked me under the table, but she laughed and had a delighted sparkle in her eye.

It was a good morning. It was like Scott had never happened. I began feeling better.

Later that night we were watching TV. She had her feet in my lap. I rubbed her feet. "That feels good," she said.

She had black tights on under her jeans. I loved feeling the material of her tights. I got hard and my erection pushed against her tights-covered foot.

She moved closer to me on the sofa and straddled my waist. She leaned down and kissed me. As we made out, I caressed her tight ass. She pulled away and looked into my eyes. I continued to fondle her ass. She sensed I wanted to play. 

"He likes my ass too," she said.

"Scott does?"

"Yeah."

"He told you?"

"Yeah."

"Is that why you wore jeans last night?"




All In My Head Ch. 04



"Yeah. I bought new ones that make my ass look good."

"You ass always looks good."

She smiled. 

We made out again. My hands moved up the sides of her jeans onto her black tights above the waistband. She took off her top. She wore a cute cotton bra with lace edging and a bow connecting the cups together. The waistband of the tights was folded down so just an inch showed above her low rise jeans. She unfolded the tights so the stretchy black material covered her flat stomach to just above her belly button. She knows I love seeing that.

I ran my fingers over the tights covering her belly. "Take off your bra," I said. She reached back and undid the snap, and let the bra fall to the floor. I frowned seeing the bite marks he'd left on her breasts. She looked down and saw the bite marks. 

"I thought you liked seeing that," she said, remembering our pillow talk the other night.

"No," I said. I was still too raw. The hurt was still a lot more than the excitement.

"Next time I won't let him do that," she said. 

"There's going to be a next time?"

She paused, then hesitantly said, "I guess I'd like to see him again." When I didn't answer, she asked "Is that okay?"

"I'm not sure," I said.

"Okay," she said, and kissed me. We made out. She took off her jeans, leaving her in just the tights. They looked so good on her long shapely legs and flat belly. I took off my clothes. She pulled her tights halfway down her thighs. She hadn't worn panties (she often doesn't when she wears tights or pantyhose). She got on top of me, and guided me into her pussy. "I'm still kinda sore okay?" she said slowly moving up and down. Knowing she was sore, I gingerly moved up and down with her. Our love making got more urgent and I moved my hands between our bodies. I fondled her breasts and rubbed her nipples. "Feels good," she whispered into my ear. We kissed and she hugged me as we made love. I came inside her.

After I came we held each other. "Did you cum?" I asked her.

"No, but it felt really good," she answering truthfully.

She pulled the tights back up and put on the shirt I'd been wearing. I put my boxers on. It was a quiet night. We picked a romantic comedy on Netflix and spooned on the sofa, watching it. 

After the movie she got up. "Come on let's go to bed," she said taking my hand.

She took off my shirt. She brushed her hair in front of the mirror. She looked so sexy in just the tights. Her smooth skin naturally looked airbrushed perfect. When she wore tights or pantyhose, her perfect legs, ass and belly looked even more amazing.

She sat on the bed next to me. In addition to brushing her hair, she'd also put on lipstick. Naked from the waist up, with just black tights below, she looked achingly desirable. With her long manicured nails she lightly caressed my thigh just below my boxers. She looked at me but didn't say anything.

In the past whenever we played the game, I would always quiz her about what happened. It got me incredibly hot; it was a big part of what I got out of the game. 

But I hadn't done that yet. She'd done her hair, put on lipstick and wore just tights, and now she was patiently waiting, giving me the opportunity to do what she knew really turned me on. Talk about last night.

I couldn't resist. "Last night was good?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said with a smile.

"Scott was good?"

Her smile got bigger. "Freaking amazing," she said.

But last night was still too raw for me. The hurt way overwhelmed the excitement. She saw it in my face. She took my hands and put them on her hips, on the tights. "Did I ever tell you the first time I wore these tights?" she asked. 

"No," I said. She was obviously changing the subject away from Scott, and I was grateful for that.

"It's crazy."

"Okay."

"Remember before Thanksgiving I went shopping with Annie?"

I nodded. I sort of remembered. Annie was engaged to Matt. They were the couple going at it on the cot beside me at the Hamptons.

"We dropped the bags off at her apartment because we were meeting Allie for drinks. Matt was there."

"Okay," I prompted her.

"Annie went to change. Matt asked me if I wanted something to drink. He was drinking wine so I asked for one."

"Okay."

"He gave me the wine and sat down next to me. Then he put his hand on my knee. I had these tights on and he started caressing my leg. He said I had great legs. I told him to stop and pushed his hand away but he kept putting it back on me. Then he tried to kiss me."

"You're kidding?"

"No -- I think he was drunk."

"Annie was right there?"

"That's when it got crazy! I was pushing him off when Annie walked in from the bedroom. She got so mad at me, she was screaming."

I scoffed. "She should have kicked Matt."

"Well, hello! She stormed out and I ran after her apologizing, even though it wasn't my fault. She was still yelling at me when we got to the bar. She said I'd teased Matt and she was going to get me back by seducing you."

I gawked at her. "What did you say?"

"I told her if she did I'd scratch her eyes out." She smiled looking proud of herself.

I laughed. "What did Allie say?"

"She laughed. You know Allie."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Wait, I'm not done," she said.

"Okay."

"At their engagement party, Matt put this hand on my knee again. I took his hand and put it under my skirt so he could feel my stocking top. Then I pulled my skirt up so he could see my stocking tops too. You should've seen his face." She gave me an evil smile. "I told him to think of me when he fucked Annie that night." She saw the shocked look on my face. "I was just getting her back, she started it," she said innocently. 

Then she narrowed her eyes and gave me an inquiring look. "So, has Annie tried to seduce you?"

I laughed. "No."

"That's good. I'd have had to scratch her eyes out, and do major damage to this." She squeezed my cock a little too hard.

"Hey, I can't help it if she hits on me."

"Poor you, life is so unfair," she said with a teasing smile. I laughed. But I knew she was half serious. She's an extremely jealous person and has a fiery temper.

Thinking of her story, I asked "What's it like to get hit on all the time?"

"This is gonna sound bad, but it's kinda a confidence boost," she said.

"I get that." I gave her a sly smile. "I've seen Matt checking you out. I'm not surprised he hit on you."

"Even with Annie there?" she laughed.

"Okay so he doesn't have the best timing," I said laughing too.

Jen had been caressing my penis this entire time, lightly running her fingertips over my crotch over my boxers. Now she reached in and pulled out my cock. "Do you like it when I tell you about guys hitting on me?" she asked wrapping her hand around my shaft. I was already half hard, and now I got completely hard.

"Yeah."

"Do you like it Matt hit on me?"

"He touched this knee?" I asked putting my hand on her right knee.

"Yes."

"He caressed you like this?" I asked running my fingertips over her tights-covered knee.

"Yeah."

"Maybe Annie was right, you did tease him."

"I probably did. I was wearing a really short skirt."

"You were?"

"Yeah. I was showing a lot of leg."

I was rock hard and my heart pounding. "When you put his hand under your skirt, did he touch skin?" 

"You mean above my stocking?"

"Yeah."

She thought about it. "I don't think so. But I got wet."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You know teasing gets me hot."

"He would have fucked you that night," I said.

She moved her lips to my ear. "I know he would have," she whispered into my ear.

Then she got on her back and I moved on top of her. I dug a hole into the tights. She reached between us and guided my cock into her though the hole. 

"You seduced him at their engagement party," I said moving inside her.

"I know."

"Do you know how incredibly hot that is?" I said.

"Like when Ricky fucked me on our wedding night?"

"Yeah," I moaned. Her story was so hot I was close to cumming already.

"In my wedding dress?"

"Yes!"

"Mike, after we got married you weren't first in my pussy, Ricky was."

"Ugh god!" I groaned and then I came inside her pussy.

Afterwards Jen giggled, and covered her face with her hands, embarrassed. "That was so wild, I can't believe we did that on our wedding night!"

"What about what we did on our honeymoon?" I said grinning.

"Oh my god just stop!" she cried still laughing, her face still blushing red at the memory.

Eventually she rolled to her side. I pulled the covers over us and spooned her. She left the tights on (she sometimes did that in the winter) and didn't put on a shirt (which was unusual). When I put my arm around her, she took my hand so I cupped her breast, and then she hugged my arm tight. It was an intimate touch, not a sexual one. 

She fell asleep a little bit later. It'd been a really good day. As I was dozing off, I realized she'd made me forget all about Scott and the night before, and I was feeling a lot better.

The next morning (Sunday) I woke up with my cock in Jen's mouth. She was slowly blowing me. "Good morning baby," she said smiling with heavy lidded eyes, her long blonde hair tussled around her pretty face.

She moved to get on top of me but I didn't want it that way. I pushed her onto her back. She automatically opened her legs, inviting me into her. Sometime during the night she'd taken off the tights. She winced as I entered her, no doubt still sore. I started gentle but my thrusts got harder. She pushed back against me as she got into it. Soon we were both panting.

"I want you to cum," I said as I moved in and out of her.

"Okay," she said. "I'm not sure I will though."

"Will it help if you touched yourself?"

"Maybe," she said. She snaked her hand between our bodies and rubbed her clit.

"Tell me when you're cumming, I want us to cum together," I said.

"Okay." She looked into my face with her big blue eyes. "Tell me what I should think about," she said.

I hesitated only a moment. "Think about Scott fucking you," I told her.

She closed her eyes and I knew she was thinking about him. I was ready to cum, I was doing my best to hold off. "I'm cumming!" she gasped, her back arching. I rammed her harder, and then we both came at the same time, my cock shooting into her pussy.

"That was really good!" she giggled a little later. Yeah, it was really good. I was feeling good.

We ate a light breakfast and then she said she was going to the gym. She's a workout freak and usually goes every day. I don't mind because it keeps her body really firm and tight. I had to do some work. We agreed to meet for lunch.

She put on a sports bra and leggings. I liked the idea she'd be full of my cum as she worked out. She packed an outfit to change into for lunch.

At noon I met her for lunch. It was an upbeat hole-in-the-wall cafe we often went to because we liked its retro vibe. Seeing her surprised me. Usually after working out she'd shower, put her hair up in a pony tail and wear jeans. But she had her hair down brushed to a luster, make up on, a dress with a high bodice and short skirt, nylons and high heels. "I feel under dressed," I said when I saw her.

"You look fine," she said with a laugh.

After lunch she said, "Hmmm ... you do look kinda grungy. Come on, I'll buy you something." She took my arm and we walked to some trendy stores. 

Every guy we passed turned to look at Jen. That made me feel good. It's great to be married to such a pretty girl.

She picked out some things for me to try on. Well, a lot of things. Jen loves to shop. I tried them on and she rejected most of them. She's a clothes hound and likes things to look just right. She finally decided on a couple of pants and a few shirts. I left the store wearing all new clothes. "Much better," she announced smiling and looking me up and down.

I steered her to a boutique she likes. "I want to buy you a new dress," I told her.

"Twist my arm," she giggled. Like I said, she loves clothes. Only half seriously, I picked out a slinky black dress that had a scoop back and really short skirt. She indulged me by trying it on. It was classy -- it was Chanel after all -- but also borderline obscene. It was the kind of dress you'd see on a runway model at a fashion show but never in real life. A bra was not possible with the scoop back that went almost to her ass, and the material was so silky you could see the outline of her nipples if you really looked. The skirt was way above her knees. Luckily she was wearing pantyhose and not stockings or the stocking tops would show.

To my surprise she let me buy it for her. To my greater surprise she told the clerk she would wear the dress out.

As we walked, guys literally stopped in their tracks and stared at her. I saw a girl hit her boyfriend as he gawked at Jen. "I'm ready for a drink," Jen announced, and we decided to go to Yogi's, a sports bar we liked.

The bar was only a couple of blocks away. We passed a Victoria's Secrets and Jen steered me into it. "I need to replenish my stock," she said picking out packages of thigh high stockings, pantyhose and tights. 

I showed her a black lacy garter belt. "How about this?" I asked jokingly. She owned only a couple of garter belts, and didn't need more since she rarely wore them. She preferred thigh high stockings that stayed up on their own.

She surprised me again by saying "I like it, it's really cute," and added it to her shopping basket. She smiled and batted her eyelashes at me at the counter, and I smiled and paid for everything with my credit card.

"Wait a sec," she said to me. She stepped into the changing room. She took my breath away when she came out. She'd taken off the nude pantyhose and was now wearing black stockings with a seam down the back. She'd also put on the garter belt, as the straps were outlined in the thin silky material of the dress (although you had to really look). 

The bar was packed with guys and a few girls watching football. Every male eye turned and stared at Jen, and more than a few guys seemed to be salivating. We knew the bartender and he made some room for us at the bar. 

The bartender asked, and Jen ordered a Cosmo. I thought that was kinda strong for a Sunday afternoon, but what the hell. I ordered a scotch.

We had another round and were both feeling it. More than a few guys hit on her. She flirted back but more to be friendly than anything else. 

Jen was definitely tipsy when she said with a big drunken smile and slurred, "I want to do a vampire shot on you."

I smiled back. I ordered 2 vampire shots. The bartender served up the shots with a little bowl of sugar, winking at me. Jen poured some sugar on my neck, swallowed the shot and then sucked the sugar from my neck. People around us cheered.

Then I did a shot on Jen. I sprinkled sugar on her neck, swallowed the shot and sucked her neck. I sucked long and hard, and she laughed and playfully batted me with her arms. But she didn't really try to get away or stop me. She knew what I was doing. I was giving her a bigger hickey than Scott's to mark my territory.

There were cheers and clapping from the guys around us. One guy asked Jen if he could do a shot on her. She looked at me. I gave her a smiling leer and told him "Go ahead."

He put sugar on her and swallowed the shot, and then sucked her neck. He didn't suck long, but I noticed he had his hand on her bare back as he sucked. Jen laughed as he did it.

Another guy asked, and I told him to go ahead too. Jen gave me a crooked smile but didn't object. This guy moved up her neck as he sucked, and he caressed her bare back as he did. I saw Jen's nipples hardening. Her neck was a major erogenous zone.

A third guy did a shot without even asking. Like the guy before, he moved up Jen's neck, but then he put his mouth over hers and kissed her. They made out for like 30 seconds. 

This was getting out of control. Guys were lining up to do vampire shots on Jen. 

Jen was drunk and had her cum face on. "That's it guys, you've had your fun," I said pulling Jen away and heading towards the door. There were disappointed hoots and howls but I wasn't stopping. Too much longer and my pretty wife might get gangbanged. 

I grabbed a taxi even though we lived just a few blocks away. Inside our apartment Jen said "I'm sorry I let him kiss me." 

I threw her on the bed and pushed up her new dress. "I guess you're not mad," she drunkenly giggled, but then she grunted as I rammed my hard cock into her. "Yeah baby fuck me hard," she moaned throwing her arms around my neck.

Even though I'd cum a lot that weekend, I didn't last long. Especially not when she took my hands and put them over her garter straps. 

After I came I rolled off and we lay on our sides looking at each other. "You're not upset?" she asked me. We were both a lot more sober by that point.

I shook my head and grinned. "That was incredibly hot," I said. I moved my hand to her pussy. "I want to make you cum," I said, knowing she hadn't cum during our intercourse.

I rubbed her but she stopped me, grabbing my hand. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to."

She let my hand go and parted her legs, and I started rubbing her again. "It might take me a while," she said almost apologetically.

"That's okay," I said. "Close your eyes and think about fucking Scott."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I want you to."

She closed her eyes. As I rubbed her I watched her pretty face. It was so hot watching her sweet pretty face as her passion and excitement grew and she got closer and closer to cumming. I rubbed faster and harder as she got close. Finally she moaned and her back arched, and her body shuddered with orgasm.

"That was really good," she said to me. She saw I was hard again. It surprised her and me too. I'd cum just minutes ago and usually I don't recover that fast. 

She pulled off the dress and got on top of me. She guided me into her. She moved up and down really slow. The soft patent leather of her high heels rubbed against my calves as she moved on me. She looked so hot with her perky tits, flat stomach, garter belt and stockinged covered legs. 

"You're incredible, you know?" I said as I fondled her breasts.

She smiled through sultry heavy lidded eyes. "Feels good," she said. 

It took a long time for me to cum but we took our time. We kissed and hugged. When my orgasm hit I moaned into her mouth and came inside her.

The next day I was really busy at work but whenever I had a moment I thought about Jen and the weekend. It had started really bad but got better and better. Overall it'd been the best weekend in a long time.

We'd spent quality time together, a lot of laughing, talking and hand holding, and we'd made love constantly. I knew she wanted to see Scott again. A skeptic would say she did all of that so I'd agree to let her see him again. But I didn't think that was it. We'd learned a lot from the Ricky experience. I think we both learned we needed to work on our relationship, even as she was having a relationship with another man (in this case Scott). That's what we'd done this weekend, worked on our relationship. 

I decided to talk to Jen that evening about Scott, talk about where we'd go from here. 



All In My Head Ch. 05



But we didn't get to talk that night. Jen had to work late on Kelloggs. She was still putting that campaign together. I knew she'd be with Scott, but he was just one person on her team, so I felt okay, especially with how great the weekend had went.

She kissed me when she got home but she was beat. We immediately went to bed.

Then it was my turn to get busy at work. I'd been working on a new financial investment vehicle. My team called my idea Sapphire, because if it worked it would make a lot of sparkling green money.

The simulations on Sapphire looked really promising, and my bosses were really interested in it, even the managing partner old man Jacob. Just after lunch Jacob himself stepped into my office. He told me he wanted me to put together a presentation on Sapphire for all the partners. This was a really big deal. I'd probably advanced faster than most, but no one at my level got to make presentations like this at partner meetings. 

I organized my team and we hunkered down to polish Sapphire and work on the presentation. We worked round the clock, and I hardly saw Jen other than a kiss hello at night and a kiss goodbye in the morning. I didn't even get a chance to tell her about Sapphire and how big this was, because she was busy too. 

By late Friday afternoon the presentation was about done. I'd have to tweak it over the weekend but I felt ready for the partner meeting. 

About that time Jen called. "Hey baby, are you up for happy hour?"

I didn't want to. I'd barely seen her all week and wanted to spend an evening alone with her. But I still remembered karaoke night. I wanted to be more fun-loving and less stick-in-the-mud. I told her I had to clear some things up (I'd ignored all my other projects getting ready for the partner meeting), but I'd be there by 7.

I got to the bar a little after 7. Of course, everyone was rowdy by then, on their 2nd or 3rd drink. "Hey bubble boy," Allie said to me. She was clearly buzzed.

"Where's Jen?" I asked.

"Over there with Scott, where else?" she said, a big grin and delighted sparkle in her eye. Yeah Jen, Allie really likes me I thought to myself.

Jen was with a group of people. Scott was there and he was the center of attention. I had to admit he was charismatic and charming, and he knew how to tell good stories. 

He told a story and everyone laughed. Jen laughed and hit him playfully on the arm. She smiled beaming at him. Yes, they were in a group of people, but you'd have to be blind to not pick up there was something going on between them. My mood clouded.

"Hey baby," Jen said to me when I joined their group, and we kissed briefly. She was tipsy but not drunk like many of her co-workers (like Allie). The server came around and I ordered a scotch.

"How's your project going?" Jen asked. She turned to everyone and said "Mike's got an idea for a new way for investing in stocks." She squeezed my hand and added "He's so smart."

Everyone looked at me and for a moment I had everyone's attention. Unlike Scott, I don't like attention, I guess I'm reserved (others might say shy). I explained how my idea was a new way of looking at historical numbers and other information to predict future performance, and how it was possible to use that information to invest with a lot more accuracy in a lot of things like stocks and exchange traded funds (ETFs). 

I kept it short because it's really technical and I saw their eyes glazing over (I couldn't blame them, only geeks like me find this stuff interesting). When I finished Scott said, "So it's like ETFs on steroids."

"Well -- that's not really right ..." I said.

"Bro, you need a snappy message that pops!" he insisted. Others were nodding their heads.

Jen was nodding too. "Maybe you should use Scott's tag line in your presentation honey," she said. "Scott you wouldn't mind, right?"

"No problem," Scott said. "Hey bro, we can talk and I'll give you more ideas."

A little later Jen pulled me aside. "See Scott's really nice."

"Sure," I said keeping my face and voice neutral.

She read through me. "I know you hate when I say that. He's really brilliant though. He might be able to help you."

"Okay. I'll think about it," I said. But I was thinking "over my dead body." It wasn't just because I couldn't stand Scott. Snappy lines like "ETF on steroids" might work in a 5 second TV commercial, but at the partner meeting it would make me look like an unprepared idiot. 

"Maybe if you talked you might even become friends," she added.

"Yeah," I said. "You never know."

She tentatively smiled at me. "Have you thought about what we talked about the other night?" she asked.

"Yeah, a lot," I said. "I mean, which part?"

"You know," she said. "About me seeing Scott again."

I thought about how great our weekend had been, and how I was more open to her seeing him again. I'd wanted to talk to her about it but we hadn't had a chance. I wished we were at home talking about it instead of this crowded bar.

"I guess I'm okay with it," I said.

"Really?" she said clearly pleased. "Would it be okay if I went with him tonight?"

I felt like I'd been hit with a bag of bricks. "I guess I was thinking we'd spend tonight together," I said. "It's been a busy week ..."

"Yeah ..." she said. "But if I went with him tonight we'd still have the whole weekend, like last week."

That was true. Maybe it was better to just get it over with, like eating your vegetables first. "I guess that makes sense," I said although I felt crest fallen and disappointed.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Do you want to leave now? He can meet us at home." I wanted to take separate cabs. That way I could at least have a few minutes of alone time with her.

"Um well ... we were thinking about his place tonight," she said. 

Her words "we were thinking" ran through my head. So they'd been talking about this. And now they were "we."

She squeezed my hand. "I thought it might be easier for you if it wasn't at our place."

"Yeah," I said dumbly, feeling the numbness grow inside me. I remembered how it'd gone with Ricky. An evening with him had stretched into all night and sometimes the next day too.

She read my thoughts. "I'll be home before morning," she promised.

"Okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I said. Then my drink arrived. "Do you want to leave now?"

"There's no rush," she said taking my arm. "Tell me about your new project."

We talked but my heart wasn't into it. Jen and I took a cab to his place. I obviously wanted to know where he lived, since she was going to be there. We held hands in the cab, and that felt good. 

"Did you guys plan this hookup all week?" I asked. I laughed to make it sound like a joke.

"No baby we just talked about it in the bar tonight," she said.

"Okay, no biggie," I said.

The taxi arrived at his building. Scott was already there waiting by the door to the lobby.

"Are you sure this is alright?" she asked me.

"Yeah."

She kissed me. "I'll be home in a few hours okay?" Then she opened the door and was gone.

At home I tried to do some work, but I couldn't concentrate. I opened the picture of them at the wedding. I thought about what they were doing at that very moment. Despite my angst, I was hard. I took out my cock and masturbated while looking at the picture, imagining Scott's cock in Jen's mouth. I came thinking of Scott riding Jen bareback and shooting his seed into her unprotected pussy. After I came I told myself that Jen wouldn't do that, she was making him use a condom.

The phone woke me up. It was 2am and I thought it must be Jen. But it was Eric, my boss.

"Mike, sorry to call but this is good news," Eric said. "I showed old man Jacob your presentation and he likes it even more now than before. You know how you told me Sapphire can work all over the world? Jacob wants you to work that angle with the number crunchers in Cali. He wants you there tomorrow so you can work the international angle into your presentation."

After hanging up the phone it took me a moment to process all this. Sapphire was getting really big. The "number crunchers" were brainiacs who did a lot of the really high level forward thinking for the firm. They were all senior partners and included a few Nobel laureates. Most people my level had never even met any of them. Now not only was I going to meet them, I'd be working with them. It was an amazing opportunity.

I called my team to tell them the news. We agreed to meet at the airport for the 7am flight.

Then I called Jen. When she answered the phone she was out of breath. I guessed they'd been in the middle of fucking.

I gave her a quick run-down and told her I had to leave soon for the airport. I was afraid she'd ask if she could stay over with him. But instead she said, "Okay, we're almost done, I'll be home right after okay?"

Her words "we're almost done" rang through my head. I'd interrupted their fucking, and before she could come home she needed to finish him, make him cum. But the thought got me hot instead of upset. Somehow the success of Sapphire was helping me deal with the angst and jealousy. Those feelings were still there, but in the background now, overwhelmed by my excitement.

Jen got home about an hour later. She looked freshly fucked. She giggled when I literally dragged her to our bedroom.

"Someone's horny" she giggled feeling my erection. I had on only my shorts.

She smiled expectantly. I studied her. Her blonde hair was tussled sexily around her pretty face. Her dress was wrinkled and not on quite right -- she must have rushed to get dressed. 

I took her leg and ran my fingertips along her calf, loving the feel of her nylons. "Tell me why Scott turns you on so much," I said.

"We're playing the game?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said. I asked "Did you fall for him the moment you saw him at the wedding?"

"I wouldn't say I've fallen for him," she giggled.

"But you're really into him."

"I guess so."

"You are," I pressed.

"Okay," she said.

I put Jen's foot against my chest and she lightly pressed against me, the pointy toe and stiletto of her high heel digging into me. She knew I loved that.

"Did he fuck you good tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Does he fuck you as good as Ricky?"

"Yeah. Better even."

"How so?"

"I'm not sure," she said. "He just makes me feel good. Maybe because it's new."

I paused processing that. Then I asked "How many times did you cum?"

"Three times."

"On his cock?"

"Two times that way. Once he went down on me."

"How many times did he cum?"

"Once."

"Just once?"

"He would have cum again if I'd stayed longer."

"He didn't want you to go?"

She shook her head. "No. He wanted me to stay over." When I didn't say anything, she added "I wouldn't do that Mike."

I moved up between her legs and pushed her skirt up around her waist. "Where's your panties?" I asked.

"Um ... I guess at this place," she said with a giggle. 

I opened her legs and she let me. I looked at her pussy. She has the prettiest pussy. Thin tight lips just a shade darker than the surrounding skin. She'd clearly been fucked though. The lips were swollen and gaped apart slightly. 

"Are you sore?" I asked tenderly running my finger between her pussy lips.

"A little," she answered.

I probed her pussy a little, looking for any sign of sperm. She read my mind. "I always make him use a condom," she said.

"That's good," I said. I grinned at her. "I bet he hates it."

She smiled and nodded. "He always promises he'd pull out."

"I bet you've been tempted to let him fuck you without one."

"Not an option," she said.

"But you've been tempted right?"

She gave me a look. "It sounds like you want that."

"Just in my fantasy," I told her truthfully. "I bet when you fantasize about him he's fucking you bareback."

"I guess."

"He cums inside you too, huh?"

"You mean in the condom?"

"No, your fantasy."

"Oh. I guess. When I fantasize about him I don't make him pull out so I guess he cums inside me." She gave me another look. "Does that turn you on?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" she asked. 

I didn't answer. I ran my fingertips along her tummy. Her firm flat tummy. 

"Because he might get me pregnant?" she asked. When I didn't say anything again she reached into my shorts and stroked my cock. 

"In your deepest darkest fantasy, does Scott get me pregnant?" she asked. I didn't say anything, but she felt my cock pulse.

"I'm gonna cum," I told her.

"Come here," she said pulling me to her. She reached between us and guided me into her.

"I won't last long," I said.

"That's okay I just want to feel you." After just a few strokes I came inside her.

We lay in bed arms around each other. "I need to get ready to go," I said.

"I know," she said rubbing my chest.

I showered and got dressed. She was awake in bed waiting for me. I kissed her.

"You know, I guess if you want to see him this weekend I'd be okay with that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Would you like that?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Okay." I paused. "But don't stay over, okay?"

"I wouldn't," she said kissing me.

A longer pause. "You know what we just talked about?" I said. "That's just a fantasy, not real."

"I know baby," she said kissing me again. "Just playing the game, right?"

"Yeah, just the game." 

I should have slept on the plane. Or worked on Sapphire. But I couldn't get Jen out of my mind. 

Maybe I was stupid for telling her she could see him again. But it was clear she was infatuated with him. She'd get over him eventually, just as she had with Ricky. In a perverse way I thought the infatuation would end sooner if they fucked more now.

When we arrived at SFO there were limos waiting for us. I'd never ever been picked up by a limo. Wow, the boss people WERE really interested in my project.

I'd brought with me my team on this project: Steve, Brian and Elaine. Elaine at 22 was fresh out of school. Steve was my age (28) and Brian was older, I think 35 or so. Steve and Elaine were still single. Brian was married with a couple of kids, and I think his wife was pregnant with their third. 

Everyone was excited. Meeting the number crunchers was a big deal, and probably everybody in our Wall Street office would be talking about it. On the limo over I said to Brian, "Do me a favor and double check your numbers on the alpha progression, okay? Something seems off about it."

"You got it Mike," Brian assured me.

The meetings went all day Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday we took a break and I called Jen. It was about 6pm NY time. She wasn't at home so I called her cell. "Hey baby, what are you up to?" I asked.

"Doing some work on the Kelloggs campaign," she said.

"Oh. You're in the office?"

"No, Scott's. We've been hanging out at his place working on his part of the campaign."

Her words hit me like a physical blow. "You've been with him all day?" I asked.

"Not all day," she said quickly. When I didn't say anything, she added "I thought you said I could see him."

I'd meant she could hook up with him, to fuck. I hadn't meant hang out with him all day, like a date. But I didn't say that. I didn't want her to see me as weak and insecure. After all, I HAD said I was okay with it.

I guess I must have been thinking too long, because she said "Are you okay Mike?"

"Yes, everything's good," I assured her. "The meetings are going great." Then I asked, "Will you be at his place much longer?"

"Um ... I'll probably be here a little while longer. Is that okay?"

"Yeah that's fine," I assured her. "Call me when you get home, okay? I just want to make sure you get home okay."

"Absolutely," she said. 

We worked late into the evening with the number crunchers. I was distracted waiting for Jen to call. She wanted to spend a little more time at his place, she'd said. One more fuck? More hand holding and sweet whispers and snuggling?

Had she spent all day with him? She might have gone right back to him after I left for the airport. An all-day date. Fucking and loving each other all day long. Sure, they'd done some work. But even working they'd be playing and laughing, rubbing her shoulder against his when he said something witty, playfully punching his arm when he made her laugh.

It got to 9pm pacific, midnight her time, and she still hadn't called. Finally my cell rang at 930 -- 1230 her time. "Just wanted to call and tell you I'm home," she said sounding tired.

"You're okay?" I said.

"Yeah, just a little bushed."

"You spent a lot of time with Scott today," I said.

"No, not really," she said. "A little after I talked to you I met up with Allie, we got a drink and then went to a movie."

"Oh, okay."

I let her go soon after that, she sounded really tired. Our short conversation hadn't made me feel much better. I could imagine what Allie talked to Jen about.

"So Scott's better than Ricky?" Allie would ask.

"So much better! God Allie Scott's freaking amazing!"

"I'm surprised you're still not with him fucking his brains out."

"I wanted to but I slipped and told Mike I'd been at Scott's all day."

"That was dumb," Allie would say.

"I know, a real blonde moment," Jen would laugh. "But I had to leave then because I didn't want Mike to get more upset."

"God what's wrong with him? Why's he got to be such a difficult cuckold?"

"Stop," Jen would laugh.

"You know what I mean," Allie would say with a knowing look.

"Yeah ..." Jen would agree. "I wish I could spend more time with Scott, I feel a real connection."

"So just do it," Allie encouraged her.

"Allie, I don't want to upset Mike."

"Why Jen? Don't you think it's time to stop kidding yourself about Mike?"

"Allie ... I've known him since college ..."

Suddenly my reverie was broken by a tap on my shoulder. It was Elaine. "Mike, what do you think?" she said.

Everyone was looking at me. "Sorry, I was thinking about something," I said. "What was the question?"

Samuel, one of the brainiacs, had a big smile on his face. He said "Mike, we've very impressed with Sapphire, the models all look good." He looked at the other brainiacs. They all wore big smiles. "I think you're going to make us a lot of money." All the partners shared a laugh.

"We want you to present Sapphire to the partners in our Chicago office," he said. "We know you're presenting to the full partnership later this week, but as you know the Chicago partners are very influential." 

I did know that. In fact, next to old man Jacob and the London office, the Chicago partners were the most powerful in our company. I knew Sapphire was a good idea, but this was getting bigger and bigger.

"Tomorrow we'll continue to work with your three colleagues here," Samuel continued, motioning to Elaine, Steve and Brian. "Tomorrow morning you fly to Chicago and brief the partners there. How does that sound?"

"That sounds excellent sir," I said. "I'll check the flights to Chicago right now."

"No need," Samuel chuckled. "The firm's private jet will be waiting for you at the airport."

"Oh ... yes sir, that's excellent," I stuttered out. Holy fuck -- only the most powerful partners ever get to ride in the firm's private plane.

Our meeting broke up. Me and my team went to the hotel bar for a celebratory drink. "I cannot believe I'm gonna fly in the private plane!" I said to my team, still feeling awestruck. "I still can't believe we just spent the day working with the number crunchers!"

"Mike, man, Sapphire is your baby and it's fucking amazing!" Brian said. Steve and Elaine both agreed, big smiles on their faces. 

"Brian's right, you don't realize how incredible Sapphire is, you're amazing!" Elaine gushed, giving my arm a squeeze.

I think I blushed, which was embarrassing, which of course made me blush more. I wasn't used to such praise. I knew my team liked and respected me, but this was over the top praise. Also, Elaine was a very pretty girl, and it's always great when a girl that pretty gives you a compliment.




All In My Head Ch. 05



"Well, you know, A leads to B, B leads to C," I said. That was how I always explained how I figured things out. I'd always been good at math, and when you got down to it Sapphire was just math. And numbers were like that. You figure out A, and that leads to B. Once you've got B, you go to C, and so on.

The three of them grinned at me. "Mike, you shouldn't be so modest, even though it's really cute," Elaine said with a giggle.

Steve and Brian shared a grin. Elaine was definitely tipsy. 

"Elaine's right Mike," Steve said. "This is your moment, enjoy it."

"It's OUR moment," I said to them, and we toasted to that.

As we left, I said "Brian, did you get a chance to check on that alpha progression?"

Brian shrugged. "Yeah, but it looked good to me."

I frowned and shook my head. "Something about it doesn't look right to me. Did you check the regression model too?"

"I didn't think of that," Brian said. "I'll look at it again. Steve, can you check it with me?"

"You bet," Steve said.

I woke up early on Sunday and flew to Chicago in the private jet. The plane had a phone so I called Jen.

"You won't believe where I am," I said grinning into the phone.

"Where?"

"The firm's private jet!" I explained what had happened.

"I wish I was there with you!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah we could join the mile high club!"

"I would so be up for that!" she giggled.

"Me too!" And we both laughed at the double entendre.

"What are you up to today?" I asked.

"Heading to the gym," she said.

"Okay -- I'll probably get home late tonight, probably not before 10."

"No worries, just let me know," she said brightly.

I was more nervous to meet with the Chicago partners than the number crunchers. I dealt better with brainiacs since I spoke their language (math). The Chicago partners were all about money -- the more the better -- and they intimidated the hell out of me. 

But if anything, the meeting in Chicago went better than SF. Maybe because the Chicago partners were money hounds, and they immediately saw Sapphire's potential to make serious cash.

Surprisingly, the meeting ended early. They got me a limo to the airport and flew me to NYC on the private jet. I could seriously get used to this. I called Jen from the plane but got her voice mail. I left her a message: "Hey baby, the meeting ended early, we should land around 6. Meet me at the airport and I'll give you the grand tour of the jet."

Jen wasn't at the airport when we landed. I tried her cell but again got her voice mail. I tried our apartment but she didn't pick up there either. I waited for a while at the airport hoping she would show up, but the pilots had to get to their next pickup. I said thanks to them and took a taxi home.

I got home around 730. Jen wasn't there. I tried her cell but again got her voice mail. I left another message: "Baby, I'm getting seriously worried, call me, I'm at home."

Finally around 9 I heard voices at the door. The door opened and Jen came in with her bike. "Oh Mike you're home," she said seeing me. 

A cloud passed over my face when I saw Scott standing behind her.

She saw the look on my face. "Um, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she said to Scott.

He grinned, oblivious to the sudden tension between me and my wife; or probably he didn't care. "I had a great time," he said to her.

"Yeah, me too," she said to him while still half looking at me. He moved to kiss her goodbye. 

She gave him an awkward kiss on the lips, and said "See you tomorrow."

She leaned the bike on the wall and came to me. She hugged and kissed me. "I'm so glad you're home, I missed you," she said.

"Where have you been?" I asked. I managed to keep my voice level, if unemotional.

"A bunch of us decided to bike to Coney Island. Remember, like we did last year? It was so nice today, like spring, it was kinda spontaneous."

"You went with Scott?"

"I didn't go with Scott," she said cautiously. "He was part of the group."

"But you ended up with him?"

"No, Mike," she said soothingly, rubbing my arm. "After we got back to the city we all stopped for drinks. Scott rode with me to make sure I got home okay."

"I called you. Repeatedly."

"Oh shit," she said digging into her fanny pack for her iPhone. She saw all the missed calls and messages from me. "Oh baby, I didn't think to look. I thought you'd be home late." She got on her tip toes and kissed me, and then hugged me. "You know I would have so dumped everyone and come home if I'd known you were here, right?"

"Yeah," I said. It felt good to have her in my arms.

Later we took a bath together. We did that a lot. When we rehabbed our bathroom we'd gotten a large enough tub that we could both be in it, facing each other.

I had her foot in my hand, rubbing it. She loved her feet rubbed, couldn't get enough of it. And her slim feet were so cute and sexy I couldn't get enough of touching them. So it worked out for both of us. We were sipping wine, so we were feeling relaxed.

"I have to ask," I said. "Did anything happen between you and Scott today?"

"Nope. We just biked around, then went to a bar." She pressed a toe into my chest and smiled. "I've been a good girl baby."

"But yesterday?"

"Yeah, but ... you said I could, right?"

"Yeah ... I guess I was just wondering."

"Well ... I wasn't sure I wanted to. After you left I slept awhile and then went to the gym. I came home and worked on Kelloggs, but I got stuck on Scott's part because I didn't have his latest report. I emailed him, and that kinda lead to me going over to his place cause that's where all his stuff was. We worked for a while, and then we fooled around. Then later I met up with Allie."

"Okay. Thanks for telling me."

"You don't have to thank me baby, no secrets right?"

"Yeah. It's just, I mean ... sorry for being skitzo about this."

"That's okay baby, you can ask me anything, you're entitled."

I felt the need to explain more. "I don't know why I'm so hung up on him. Maybe because you're such good friends."

"I have a lot of guy friends Mike ... it's never bothered you before."

"Yeah but ... not with benefits, right?" I forced a laugh to break the tension.

"That's true," Jen laughed back, but her laugh seemed as fake as mine. "I don't know what to say honey," she said getting serious again. "Do you want me to break it off with him?"

Yes, that was exactly what I wanted. But we'd done that with Ricky and it didn't work out. It was better to play things out and let her work through her infatuation.

So I said, "No, I don't mean that."

"You're okay then?"

"Yeah. These talks really help."

"Definitely," she agreed.

We talked a little bit about Kelloggs and Sapphire. I liked talking about Kelloggs because I liked hearing her voice and seeing her excited. Things were going really well, and her boss said she'd definitely get a bonus and maybe a promotion. I was really happy for her.

"Your presentation is Thursday, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. Eric told me a lot of partners are flying here to attend the meeting in person." Usually partners outside NYC attended by video conference.

"Wow, and all this because of you," she said admiringly.

"Well ... I mean, it's a team effort."

"You're so modest," she said smiling. Then she kissed me. "But it's cute."

I chuckled.

"What?" she asked.

"That just reminded me," I said smiling and thinking about what Elaine had said.

"What?"

"Elaine said the same thing," I said. I realized my mistake as soon as I said it. 

"Who's Elaine?" she asked. Jen wore a smile but her eyes definitely weren't smiling. 

"You know, Elaine, on my team."

"I don't think you've told me about her."

"Oh, sorry. I guess she joined about 6 months ago."

"Hmmm ... and she said you're cute?"

"No --"

"That's what you said."

"No, she said I was being modest, and --"

"Where were you when she said this?"

"We were having a drink."

"You went out with her for drinks?"

"My team went out," I quickly corrected her.

"Hmmm. How old is she?"

"I think 22."

"Kinda young for you isn't she?"

I laughed nervously. "I've got you baby, why would I want anyone else?"

"Um hm," she said dismissively. "Is she pretty?"

"Well ... I guess."

"And is she blonde Michael?"

This was getting bad if she was calling me Michael. "Um ... yeah," I said.

"Hmmm ... so do I have competition Michael?"

"Jen of course not!" 

She smiled, an evil glint in her eye. "That's good because I told you what will happen to this," she said squeezing my cock a shade too hard.

We got out of the bath and dried off, then got into bed. Later Jen was on top of me, rocking back and forth. I cupped and fondled her breasts.

"Are her breasts bigger than mine?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Elaine you shit head."

"Oh. I guess."

"Are they pretty?" she asked. Even though hers were perfect, Jen had a thing about her small breasts. Sometimes she talked about getting a boob job.

"I don't know. I haven't looked."

"Liar," she said. She rocked back and forth in silence, and then said "Is she prettier than me?"

"Baby, no one's prettier than you," I said truthfully.

She gave me a "whatever" look. Then she said "Do you fantasize about her?"

"Jen -- of course not."

"Never?"

"Never," I said.

"It'd be okay if you did," she said. But I knew that was a lie.

"Jen, you know what I fantasize about?" I said. "You and Scott."

"Okay," she said a little sharply. "Then you want to hear something about yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"We were fooling around," she said still rocking back and forth on me. "He went down on me and got me close but wouldn't let me cum. He's soooo good with his tongue, he was driving me crazy."

"Okay," I said hesitantly.

"Then he got between my legs. I reached down to guide him into me. I always have to use both hands to hold him because his cock's so freaking big."

"Okay," I said again. Her story was definitely hot but I felt jealousy growing inside me.

"He pushed into me. It always hurts at first because he's so big, but he's super considerate so he always goes slow. I really like that about him. He'd gotten me so hot though I was really wet, so it didn't take him too long before he was all the way in me. God Mike I can't tell you how good it feels when he's all the way in me. It's like he reaches every part of me, it feels freaking awesome. I don't know what it is, but he fits be perfectly! It's like my pussy was made for his cock!"

"Okay," I said.

"Are you okay baby?" she asked.

"Yeah I guess," I said, not at all feeling okay.

She shrugged like she didn't care whether I was okay or not, then continued her story. "Then he started fucking me, going slow at first. He put my legs on his shoulders so he got super deep inside me. God Mike I can't tell you how good it felt! Oh, did I tell you? I had on the black ankle strap Jimmy Choos, you know, the ones you say make my legs look so great? I'd worn them with really tight jeans because Scott loves my ass and I wanted to drive him crazy!"

She paused looking into my eyes, then asked, "You're not upset are you?"

"I don't know," I said my head spinning by this point. "I thought you said you weren't sure if you wanted to fool around with him."

She shrugged. "I still wanted to dress sexy for him." She looked into my face. "I can tell you're upset -- but good upset right? Anyway, Scott was fucking me faster, and I reached down to caress his balls. He loves when I do that, and I love it too because his balls are so big and tight, just like his beautiful cock!"

She paused and looked into my eyes. I sensed she was getting to the punch line. "As I rubbed his balls his cock rubbed against my hand. Guess what I realized?"

"What?" I asked feeling dread approaching.

"He wasn't wearing a condom," she said simply.

It felt like my heart stopped. "What happened?" I said feeling more dread.

"It felt so good I let him fuck me that way."

"What?!" I cried.

"Don't worry, he didn't cum in me."

"But he might have! And even his pre-cum--"

"Michael, listen," she said dismissively. "You want me to fuck other guys. And I LOVE fucking them. Shit happens. Grow up and get over it."

I grunted and came. Then, without even a kiss, she rolled off me and went into the bathroom.

What the fuck had just happened? I'd gotten release from my orgasm but no pleasure, and now I was an emotional wreck. She hadn't been teasing or playing the game. She'd been mean, cruel even, and now she seemed pissed at me. What had I done?

Then it came to me. Elaine. She was upset about Elaine.

It always amazed me how someone as beautiful as Jen could ever be jealous or threated by another girl. Believe me, Jen is so stunning no man who had her would ever look at another girl. I certainly never did. But I'd learned early on she was probably the most jealous person I'd ever met, she got hurt really easy, and she had a fiery almost vindictive temper.

She came out of the bathroom with a frown on her pretty face. Her eyes were a little red. Had she been crying?

She got into bed and rolled over. Her body language told me I was not invited to spoon her.

I needed to reassure her. It was actually easy for me to do, because I adored her so much.

"Wanna know something?" I said moving closer to her but not touching her. "Remember back in college, when I first saw you?"

"Yes Mike," she said impatiently. "You've told me this before, over and move again. You saw me coming out of my dance class in my leotard and tights, and you immediately fell in love with my long blonde hair and long legs. So where are you going with this?"

"Yeah but, I never told you this part," I said gently, ignoring her major brush-off. "We actually met before that." I waited a moment for her to ask "when" or something like that, but she didn't say anything. She was going to make me work for this.

"The first time we met was in Platter Records and Books. You know, the used record and book store outside campus? I worked part time there. You came in looking for old Springsteen vinyl records. I'll never forget, you were wearing a pink bow in your hair. I swear to god, you were the prettiest girl I've ever seen in my life. I tried to talk to you but, you know me, I could barely put two works together I was so nervous looking at you. I managed to ask you why you wanted old Springsteen records, and you said he was the greatest poet who ever lived. I told you I'd never really listened to his stuff, and you told me to listen to Thunder Road. Then you left. Jen, that night I listened to Thunder Road like 100 times."

She turned around and looked at me. "I kinda remember, but I didn't know that was you."

"Of course not," I said with a humble laugh. "You were gorgeous and the most popular girl on campus, and I was a geeky math major who worked in a used record store."

"Why haven't you told me this before?"

"Well ... what happened was, I kinda stalked you after that," I said seriously embarrassed. "I knew your name -- you paid for the records with a credit card -- but I didn't know who you were. So, for like the next month, I found out as much about you as I could. What you were studying, what your class schedule was, who your friends were, things you were in to and things you didn't like, everything."

"How'd you do that?"

"I Googled you. There was some stuff on you but not a lot. Mostly through Facebook."

"Did we have common friends?"

"No, but, well ... I kinda hacked Facebook."

"You -- hacked - Facebook?" she said shocked.

"Yeah," I said, really embarrassed now. "It's actually not that hard." 

"But ... my class schedule wasn't on Facebook," she said processing what I'd said. Then it came to her. "Did you hack the Penn State computer network too?"

I nodded, red faced and grimacing.

"God Mike you're dangerous."

"Anyway," I continued, wanting to get passed this part of the story, "My point is I didn't want to be a blubbering idiot when we met again. A friend got me invited to one of your sorority mixers. By then I'd listened to every Springsteen song, memorized the works of all the great European masters, read just about everything by Emerson and Thoreau, rode all the bike trails within 10 miles of campus, learned how to make a fire in the pouring rain with just a couple of sticks, studied Dante's Infernal, ..."

"God Mike," Jen said amazed. "I remember wondering how a math grad student knew so much about French non-conformist literature."

"Yeah, well ... I wanted to make sure I had something to talk to you about. I'm just saying ... baby, from the moment we met you've been everything to me. I think about you all the time. Whenever I see you, it's like my heart stops. Jen -- I'm consumed by you."

She smiled at me. It was almost a shy smile. But she was beaming at me. 

She reached into my pants. I was soft. I'd just cum, and this was about love, not sex. She moved down my body and took me into her mouth. I got hard, and then I got on top of her and entered her. 

This was how she liked to make up, after we fought. She liked making love to cement our reconnection. I liked it too of course. Afterwards we hugged and kissed and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up with my cock in her mouth. She got on top of me and put me inside her. "I was really mean to you last night," she said rocking back and forth.

"That's okay," I said trying to be cool. But I had to know. "Did he really fuck you without a condom?"

She nodded. "Just a little bit," she said. "He went down on me and got me so hot I forgot to tell him to put on a condom. He entered me without one. I figured it out and told him to stop and put one on."

"Did he?"

"Not at first. He said it felt really good and he'd pull out in a minute."

"Jen, even his pre-cum --"

"I know, I know," she said soothingly rubbing my chest. "I made him pull out. I was so mad at him I wouldn't let him fuck me after that even with a condom."

"So he didn't cum?"

"I went down on him."

"Oh. Okay. I guess you weren't that mad at him then."

"Well ... I don't know," she said. "We didn't really make up until yesterday on the bike ride."

Her words "make up" rang in my ears, and bothered me. It made it sound like they were dating and she was his girlfriend. Maybe she was.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"You said you didn't have sex with him yesterday."

"We didn't," she said. "But we rode together and talked." When I didn't say anything, she asked again "Are you okay?"

"You rode together the whole time?" I asked.

"Not the whole," she said. "You know how rides go. People move around a lot."

"But you rode next to him the most."

"I don't know. I talked to a lot of people." She was still riding me, moving up and down really slow. She rubbed my chest again. "Are you okay?"

"It just seems like you're dating ... you're his girl friend."

She looked confused. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I don't know ... I guess."

She kissed me. "You're upset?"

"Yeah."

"Good upset or bad?"

"Bad I think," I said.

"Which part?"

I took a long breath. "He wants to fuck you bareback. And I think you want him to."

She kissed me. "It's not gonna happen Mike. You don't have to worry about that." She kissed me again. "What else is bothering you?"

"I guess the dating part," I said.

"You liked it when I dated Ricky," she said kissing me again.

"You didn't work with Ricky. You see Scott every day, you work with him, you party with him, you go on bike rides with him. You're with him way more than me."

I was still inside her, but now she stopped moving and just laid down on my chest, my cock still inside her. "Do you want me to break it off with him?" she asked. "I will if you want me to."

"I'm not saying that," repeating what I'd said the night before.




All In My Head Ch. 05



"Why? If it bothers you so much?"

"Because you have a thing for him," I explained. "And it has to run its course, or you'll always be thinking what if."

"I would never think that Mike," she assured me.

"I'm not willing to take that chance," I said.

We were both silent, like at an impasse. After a few minutes Jen said, "Wanna play hooky today? They owe you a day off, and I can take a mental health day."

Why not? I thought to myself. My presentation was done. Sure there was some tweaking, but I had until Thursday to do that. "That's a great idea," I said. Just as I did, my cell rang.

"Mike, where the hell are you?" my boss Eric practically shouted into my ear.

"Home boss," I said. "The meetings went great this weekend. Catching up with Jen."

"They didn't go great," Eric said. "They went FUCKING great! I need your ass in London, they want you to brief them before the partner meeting."

Jen got off me and I sat up. Despite my interest in what Eric was saying, I ached when Jen pulled off my cock, as I hadn't cum yet.

"Eric, what's with all the pre-meeting meetings?" I asked not understanding what was going on. Jen leaned in so she could listen.

"Mike, your Sapphire baby is big," Eric said. "Really big. The partners are thinking about scrapping everything and going all in with Sapphire, changing our short and long terms plans around it."

"Fuck," I said under my breath. 

"You got that right kid," Eric said. "You know how it is now right? All the big investment firms got spanked with the housing crisis and stupid shit like derivatives. Made us look like selfish money hungry bastards. Since then we've been playing catch up. But Sapphire will change all that. It's based on sound fundamentals. We can make a lot of money for our clients, and do it the right way. Mike, we can restore the public's faith in Wall Street. And by the way make the partners a fortune." 

"So tell Jen I'm sorry, and then get your ass to the airport," Eric continued. "The plane is waiting for you. And Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't fuck up." Then Eric hung up.

"Shit," I said under my breath. 

"Mike this is really something," Jen said awestruck. "You're doing something amazing, world changing even."

"Well you know," I said shrugging. "It's just math. A to B, B to C ..."

"You're so modest, it's so freaking cute!" she giggled. But then her laughing cut off as we remembered how she'd (and Elaine) had said the same thing. I dreaded her going ballistic on me again. She got off the bed and went into her closet. I braced myself for the worst.

She came out. She looked stunning! She'd brushed her hair and put on black eyeliner, making her blue eyes really pop. She'd also put on pink lip gloss making her sexy lips look wet. She wore black thigh high stockings and high heels.

She'd put on black high heels, and carried something pink in her hands. It was Scott's bustier. 

She brushed the bustier against my chest, and my heart raced feeling the soft velvet and hard ribbing. "You know this is Scott's right? I'll wear it for you right now. Would you like that?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?" she whispered breaking out of the game. "You like this? I'm not upsetting you?"

"No. I mean yeah, I really like it."

"Okay," she said with a smile. She turned her back to me and held her long blonde hair up. "Tie it for me?"

I tied the laces, and then she stood up and let her hair drop. She attached the straps to the thigh highs. No words could describe how achingly stunning she looked, the bustier pushing up her tits and stopping just below her belly button, her tight ass and long shaping legs below.

"You like?" she asked getting on the bed and straddling my crotch. 

"Yes!" I said running my hands over the bustier. 

She caught hold of my hands. "You understand this belongs to Scott right? This is the last time you'll ever see me in it."

"God yes, I understand!"

She let go my hands and I caressed her again. Reaching down she took hold of my cock and guide me into her. "God you feel so amazing!" I gushed. Then I excitedly asked, "Have you worn this for him?"

She smiled teasingly. She leaned over and whispered into my ear, "Mike, I wore this for him on Saturday."

"Oh god!" I moaned.

She moved my hands to her feet. "These heels too."

"God Jen!"

"You know what else?" she hissed into my ear. "You know I told you I gave him a blow job? I swallowed most of it. But some of it got on the bustier." 

"Ugh god!" I cried. I came shooting my cum into her.

Afterwards we kissed and held each other. "Did you like that?" she asked.

"Yeah, it was amazing," I gushed. "You really know how to push my buttons."

She giggled. "I thought you might like to play the game a little."

"You're incredible!" I gushed. I was probably babbling but I couldn't help it, she completely rocked my world!

"You're incredible too Mike," she said kissing me. 

I obviously felt great on the flight to London. Flying in the private jet certainly didn't hurt. I felt everything was perfect. I had a young pretty wife, she loved me, we had a great adventurous sex life, my job was great, everything was moving up. 

The only damper was Scott. She'd offered to end it with him, but made it my decision. It had to be her decision. If I forced her to end it, she'd eventually resent me for it. It could drive a wedge between us. Then he'd look like the good guy and me the bad, and that might drive her into his arms. Despite all the pain, it had to be her decision.

I didn't trust him. He didn't want just Jen's body, he wanted HER. Just like Ricky. 

I wished we could have played the game with just nameless, one-night-stand fucks. But that hadn't been good for her. It wasn't just sex for her, she needed the romance. If I was honest with myself, that's what I really wanted from the game too. It just hurt a lot.

I called Jen from the plane. "Hey baby," I said catching her at work. "Can you talk?"

"Yep, anything for my jet setter hubby," she said.

Even though I was the only one in the cabin, I lowered my voice. "Baby, I think you should go back on the pill," I said.

"Yeah, I was thinking that too," she said. "I'll go to the drugstore today."

"But it's not effective for a while," I quickly cautioned.

"I know baby," she said soothingly. "For the next month I'll keep using condoms with him."

"Okay," I said relieved we were in sync. Now came the awkward part, but I'd been thinking about it and wanted to tell her. "Even after the month, I might want him to keep using condoms," I said.

"Oh ... okay," she said.

"We can talk about it though, okay?" I quickly added, not wanting her to think I was trying to dictate things to her. "I know it'd feel better for both of you without condoms. I'm just not sure I want him bare inside you ... or cum inside you." When she didn't answer immediately, I added "Sorry for being a control freak."

"It's okay baby, if that's what you want then that's what I'll do," Jen said.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said. I tried to detect impatience or annoyance in her voice, but I didn't hear any.

"We don't have to decide now," I added. "Let's talk about it when I get home."

"Okay."

I felt like an ass, like I was saying I didn't trust her. Trying to make it up to her I said, "I'd be okay with it if you want to see him while I'm away."

"Okay," she said. I think she sounded a little surprised. "We'll see. I'm not feeling it right now, but thanks for offering."

The meetings in London were tough. The London partners were old school, pessimistic, half-empty kind of people, but by the end they were on-board and as enthusiastic about Sapphire as everyone else. The meetings though went non-stop until late Wednesday night. Me and all the London partners boarded the firm's private jet for New York Thursday morning. We'd make it just in time for the full partner meeting that evening.

I barely had time to call Jen before take-off (I obviously couldn't call her during the flight with all the partners there). "The meeting will probably go until about 10," I told her.

"Got it," she said. "I'm so proud of you baby. I'll make a late dinner, your favorite."

"That sounds great!" I said.

We landed at 3pm and the partner meeting was scheduled for 7. More than enough time. 

I gave Jen a quick call. "I'm so proud of you baby," she said. "I know you'll be awesome tonight."

"Thanks!" I said.

"Um ... can I ask you something?" she said tentatively.

"Sure."

"Scott just called and asked if I wanted to get together with him," she said.

"Right now?"

"Yeah," she said. "He asked yesterday and the day before, but I wasn't up for it. I'm only asking now because he's going to Vegas tomorrow for the weekend."

"Oh," I said. I felt deflated, after all this was my big day. But then, I'd told her it'd be okay with me if they hooked up. "I guess so," I said.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I said. "He'll be gone before I get home, right?"

"Way before then," she promised.

The London partners took limos to the office. They'd gotten me my own limo, and we made our way into the city. I should have been thinking about my presentation but I couldn't get my mind off Jen and what she was doing with Scott. I was rock hard. It was only 315, I had a lot of time. Making a decision, I told the driver to instead go to my apartment.

"Wait here," I told the driver. 

I quietly opened our apartment door. They hadn't wasted any time. Jen's dress was on the floor. His shirt and pants were on the sofa. Her bra and panties were next to her dress. There were sounds of sex coming from our bedroom.

I quietly walked to the bedroom. The door was wide open. Jen was on her back. Scott was on top of her. His cock was inside her. He was fucking her.

I watched them. They were too much into each other to notice me.

Scott was banging her hard, long and fast thrusts of his big cock into her pussy, so hard the bed was hitting the wall. "Oh god oh god oh god," Jen moaned, her long legs on his shoulders. She was naked except for thigh highs and high heels. "Fuck me, fuck me, don't stop, fuck me!" she cried.

I watched her cum on his cock, her back arched, her high heels pointed as her toes curled inside, her long soulful moan. He supported himself on his muscular arms as she recovered. He tenderly kissed her cheeks and lips. "That was freaking amazing," she gushed beaming into his eyes. "You have no idea how much I needed that!" she giggled.

"We should have fucked the other day," he said smiling.

"You were an ass!" she said, but she laughed and gave him a playful hit on the chest. "But you know what?" she said with a sly grin. "I'm on the pill again."

"Oh yeah?" he said grinning back. "So I can ditch the condoms?" 

"We'll see," she said and then she enticingly ran her stockinged leg over his calf. "Come on we have to finish."

"You said he wasn't getting home until late."

"Yeah but I have things to do," she said. She gave him a seductive smile. "You think you can make me cum again?"

"I like a challenge," he said with a grin, moving inside her again.

"God I could get SO addicted to your cock," she gushed. She ran her hands over his muscular chest and six pack. "And your body."

"You like my body?"

"You know I do," she said smiling into his eyes.

"Better than your husband's?"

"I like Mike's body just fine," she said with a laugh. But as Scott moved inside her she cooed, "But I DO like your body, alot."

Their fucking picked up. Scott put Jen's legs over his shoulders again. He leaned down, squishing her tits against her thighs, and they kissed and tongued each other. 

My eyes focused on her foot. So slim and pretty, and even sexier in nylon. Scott was pounding her so hard her high heel -- the one in my avatar -- was coming off. With each powerful pounding thrust her high heel came off her foot a little more. Soon it dangled from her toes. God it looked so hot!

"I'm cumming!" Scott cried.

"Cum in me!" Jen told him. "Cum in me baby!"

Scott's orgasm hit and he cried "I love fucking you Jen, I love you!" 

Jen came again, her orgasm hitting at the same time and she cried back, "Oh god! I love fucking you too baby! I love you!"

They held each other, panting into the other's face. "That was fucking incredible, you're a great fuck," Scott gushed. 

"You're not too bad yourself mister," Jen replied, beaming at him with a big smile. 

Then she turned my way and saw me and her smile disappeared. "Mike!" she gasped seeing me.

She saw the hurt on my face. There's no way a husband -- even a cuck like me -- can watch his wife respond to another man like that, say the things she said, and not be hurt. But she also saw the excitement, both in my eyes and my crotch.

"Um, Scott ..." she said to Scott, pushing against his chest. He got the message and pulled out. 

"Careful, the condom," she cautioned him, and she reached down and held the condom on his shaft while he pulled out. The end of the sack held so much sperm it sagged under the weight.

She modestly closed her legs. "Come here baby," she said reaching for me.

I felt uncomfortable with Scott there seeing his ripped body and big cock (even soft he was noticeably longer and thicker than me hard). Jen sensed this and said to him, "Scott honey can you wait outside a minute?"

Scott did a "whatever" shrug and left our bedroom. I closed the door. 

I sat on the edge of the bed. "Hi," I said looking into her eyes.

"Hi," she said back looking into my eyes. We kissed. 

I stroked her stockinged thigh. "You look incredible," I gushed.

"The freshly fucked look, it's the new fashion trend," she joked. We laughed.

I caressed her inner thigh, and then pulled a little. She parted her legs for me. I looked at her pussy. She was really wet and her pussy lips gaped apart some, but there were no signs of his sperm.

"Thanks for making him wear a condom," I said.

"Don't thank me baby," she said. "That's just the way it is." She stroked my arm. "Don't you have to get to work?"

"Yeah," I said caressing her small breasts and tracing circles around her hard nipples. "I couldn't resist ..." I felt a little embarrassed.

"That's okay honey," she said reassuringly.

"I don't have much time," I said.

"Come here," she said pulling me to her.

Our love making was slow and tender, nothing like what I'd seen just moments ago. She felt loose but still incredible. I came after a few minutes, coming into her. We spent a few more minutes kissing and holding each other.

I took a shower and dressed. I sat back on the edge of the bed and caressed her stockinged leg again. "I better go," I said. 

"Good luck I know you'll do great," she said. Then she asked a little hesitantly, "Would it be okay if Scott stays a little longer?"

"Sure," I said, not really wanting him to. But I guess she wasn't completely satisfied yet, or she felt she still needed to take care of him. 

I needed to go, but I didn't get up. Instead I kept stroking her leg. Finally I said "I wish I could make you respond to me the way you do for him."

"Baby ..." she soothed rubbing my arm.

"He makes you cum so much," I said feeling inadequate.

"You make me cum more," she said.

"Only because we do it more," I said.

She rubbed my arm. "Baby, that counts," she said reassuringly. After a moment she smiled, as if thinking of something that would make me feel better. "I won't clean up until after he leaves."

I didn't understand what she was saying at first, but then I did. "Okay," I said with a smile. That did make me feel better.

In the taxi on the way to the office, I couldn't help grinning. He might fuck her better than me, but his sperm was in a condom in the trash, while mine was in her pussy. I hoped he enjoyed my cream pie.

"How do you feel?" Eric said when I arrived at the office. Brian, Steve and Elaine were there, looking nervous and excited.

"Good," I said. I worked with my team a little to sync up, and then I spent some time alone in my office to psych myself up. This was the biggest presentation of my life. I felt confident though. 

I tried not to think about what Jen and Scott were doing at that moment. I guess a part of me wished she hadn't hooked up with him today, since this was my day. But he was going to Vegas so I'd have her all to myself the entire weekend, so that made up for it.

It was almost 7. The entire partnership was waiting for me. Eric appeared at my door and we walked to the big auditorium. As I walked in all the partners stopped talking and looked at me, all 200 of them. I was on the stage by myself. I forced a confident smile. It was just math, I told myself. A to B, B to C. I started my presentation.

At 1030 I got home. Jen gave me a hug and kiss. She looked stunning. Her hair and makeup were perfect. She wore a slinky black dress. Was it new? It was as short as the Chanel dress, but instead of the daring back this one had a swooping front that showed off the soft swell of her cleavage. She also wore black stockings and black stiletto heels.

"You look incredible," I gushed at her. She smiled. 

I saw the food on the table, the wine, the lit candles. "I made your favorite, rack of lamb." She'd really made an effort to make this a special evening for me (especially since she hated to cook).

"It smells really good," I said. We sat down and ate. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"The partners approved Sapphire," I told her with a big smile.

"That's wonderful Mike I'm so proud of you!" she said with a big smile beaming at me. Her words made me feel so great. 

We talked more. I told her I was going to be really busy the next month or two as we got SEC approval for Sapphire. She told me Kelloggs was up and running and everyone was happy, and her boss Johnny had mentioned she might be assigned to a new big project. She was excited but didn't know the details yet.

"How long did Scott stay?" I asked her.

She moved over to me and sat on my lap. She put her arms around my neck. "Just a little longer."

I traced my fingertip along the swell of her bosom. "Did you fuck again?" I asked.

"Yeah, a quickie," she said and then kissed the top of my head. "I feel bad I hooked up with him today. This was your big day. I only did it because he'll be gone all weekend."

"That's okay," I said.

She kissed me again. "I can tell you're upset."

I didn't say anything for a while. I didn't want her to think I was a complete insecure and pathetic loser. But I couldn't help myself, it was nagging at me. Finally I said, "I guess sometimes I wonder who's more important to you."

"You are Mike," she said reassuringly, and kissed me. "It's not even close."

Another pause, and then I said "You said you loved him."

I was about to say more but she put her finger over my lips. "Don't do that to yourself baby," she said soothingly. "I've told you -- when I cum it feels like love. It doesn't matter who I'm with. But that doesn't mean I'm in love."

"You're just so in to him, I can tell," I said.

"He's just new, that's all," she said soothingly, kissing me. "You know I like that. The romance and excitement of a new relationship. It'll go away, just like it did with Ricky."

"What if it doesn't?"

She put her finger over my lips again. "Don't think that Mike," she said soothingly. She put her hands on my head. "So much goes on inside your head. I like Scott, we're buds. And right now he's more than a friend to me. But eventually we'll be just friends again." She looked into my eyes. "Okay?"

"Yeah."

She smiled. She reached down and cupped my crotch. "I think this needs taking care of," she said with a cute giggle.

I traced her breast again. "I like this dress," I said.

"I bought it new for you," she said.

"You'll only wear it for me?" I teased her.




All In My Head Ch. 05



"If you want," she said.

I thought about it. "That's okay, you can wear it for him," I said. I continued to trace lines on her breasts, following the soft slopes up and down. 

"Scott likes bustier girls," she said.

"Yours are perfect," I assured her, speaking truthfully.

"Yeah, perfect but tiny," she said with a laugh. "Scott said I should get a boob job." Seeing my frown, she added, "If I did it, it wouldn't be for him."

Her assurance didn't make me feel better, at least not completely. Sensing this, she said, "Sorry, I'll stop talking about him."

A little later we made love. Like before, our sex wasn't frantic and passionate like hers with Scott, but tender and loving. I came inside her. I was pretty sure she didn't cum, but she seemed content. 

It was getting late and we both had to get up early, but I didn't want our time together to end. She seemed the same way.

My fingers trailed down her body and caressed her stomach over her garter belt (she'd worn it for me, making it really a special evening). "Have you ever worn a garter belt for Scott?" I asked.

"No," she said.

"I don't want you to ever wear one for him," I said. 

"Okay, I won't."

"I know it's petty --"

"That's okay baby, you're entitled," she said kissing me on the lips.

We kissed a little (tender kisses, not making out). Then I said, "Has he asked you not to do things for me?"

"No, but ..." she didn't finish, as if unsure whether to say more.

"What?" I pressed her.

"He said he'd like to spend more time with me," she said.

"Oh," I said. I was silent processing that. "Do you want to spend more time with him?"

"I think so," she said hesitantly.

Her words felt like a punch in the gut. But this was what the game was all about. I said, "I guess I'm okay with that. Just tell me when you see him, okay?"

"Of course," she said. She reached down and cupped by crotch. Although I'd just cum, my cock had stirred with our conversation. "Do you want to go again?" she asked.

"I'm not sure I can," I said with a laugh.

"Okay," she said tiredly. "I guess I'll go to sleep now. Love you baby."

"I love you too." She fell asleep almost immediately. 

We had to work the next day, but then we had the whole weekend together. It was really good. We didn't do much, other than be together. 

Sunday Jen was surfing the internet while I did some mindless busy work on Sapphire (the real work would start the next day). She started laughing, looking at the computer screen.

"What's up?" I asked smiling at her.

"Look," she said gleefully showing me the computer screen. It was Scott's Facebook page. It showed Scott and his buddies with a bunch of really pretty girls. Scott was in Vegas for a bachelor's party.

There were a series of pictures and they got pretty explicit. They didn't get x-rated, but it was pretty clear Scott and his friends had sex with the girls. Jen's delight grew as she scrolled through the pictures.

"Oh he is such a hound dog!" she said delightedly looking at one picture of Scott kissing a really pretty girl. His hand was just below her very large bust. "I told you he liked big breasts," she said laughing.

She scrolled through other pictures, each showing Scott with another girl. All the girls were drop dead gorgeous -- their faces and bodies so perfect to be runway models -- and from the pictures it was pretty clear he'd had sex with a lot of them. "Oh I'm so giving him shit about this tomorrow," she laughed delightedly.

I felt deflated and inadequate. All the girls were gorgeous, and Scott seemed to have his pick of any (or all) of them. I was pretty sure none of the girls would give me the time of day. Jen was prettier than all of them, but it made me wonder why she ended up with a geek like me instead of a stud like Scott. Jen was too involved with the pictures to notice my unease.

One picture showed Scott kissing a girl at a club, his hand inside her pants and squeezing her ass cheek. The girl had a tattoo above her ass. "Isn't that sexy?" Jen said pointing to the girl's tattoo. 

"Yeah," I agreed. Sure, it was sexy and Jen had talked about getting one before (she didn't have any tats now), but I talked her out of it. I didn't like the permanency of a tattoo. Jen's body was perfect, she didn't need anything like that. I hoped she wasn't thinking about getting a tat for Scott.

Jen scrolled through more pictures of Scott with gorgeous girls. I guess trying to make myself feel better, I blurted out, "They're probably hookers."

Jen laughed and said "Mike, believe me, Scott doesn't need to pay for it." Her comment stung but she was so focused on the pictures she didn't notice my reaction. The weekend had been going really great, but this made it a bummer.



All In My Head Ch. 06



One night Jen got home and immediately said "I need a drink." She was distraught. She'd had to fire Calvin, an account exec. She'd known him a long time and she was friends with him and his wife. "I didn't have a choice, he really screwed up a major important part of the Kelloggs campaign," she said. "We almost lost Kelloggs." But she cried because Calvin was a friend and it was never easy to fire anyone. I held her. After the tears she told me she'd be in scramble mode the rest of the week fixing Calvin's mistake.

So things were busy for Jen and me. I was working non-stop to get Sapphire ready for launch, and get SEC approval for its use in the United States. Since the partners wanted to simultaneously launch all over the world, I also had to work with our offices in the key foreign countries to get their governments' approvals. Not only was I working 24/7, I was traveling all over the place.

Jen hooked up with Scott about once a week. Sometimes twice, but she always told me, and never slept over with him even when I was traveling.

Their hookups made it tough on me. Including work they spent a lot of time together, and our time together shrank to almost nothing with all my long hours and travel. She knew I was working hard on something important. I guess a part of me wished she'd cool it with him until Sapphire was over. It felt like she was taking advantage of Sapphire to spend more time with him. But deep down I knew that was unfair. When we were together, it was real quality time, and she was super supportive. 

One evening we were watching TV and she said, "Scott's gym closed. I was thinking of suggesting he join our gym." Jen called it "our" gym, but I hardly ever went. "What do you think?"

"Geez Jen, you already spend so much time with him, now you want to work out with him too?" I said. I couldn't keep the annoyance out of my voice.

"Okay, sorry, I won't say anything to him," she said, but she gave me a brief what –is-your-problem look.

"Whatever," I said, upset. Now I felt like an irrationally jealous husband. But how could she think it was okay to treat him like a normal guy friend when she was fucking him? "I've got to do some work," I said going into our home office.

She came in a few minutes later. "Will you be home next Thursday?"

"Why, do you want to see him then?" I snapped at her.

"No, Mike," she soothed, rubbing my arm. "It's your birthday you goof. I want to make sure you'll be home so we can celebrate."

I felt like an ass. "I'm sorry honey," I said. I'd forgotten about my birthday. Checking my calendar I said "Yeah, I'm not traveling that day."

"Can you take the day off?" she asked. "I think we need some alone time together."

I nodded. "Yeah, I think we do too," I said with a grin. I checked my calendar again. "I have a meeting in the morning, but can get off in the afternoon."

She sat on my lap and hugged me. "If an afternoon is all I can get, then that's what I'll take," she said smiling at me.

We made out with her on my lap. I unbuttoned her blouse and cupped her breast over the bra cup. I kissed along her neck and she reached down and rubbed me. We stopped and were both panting. For a while we gave each other soft tender kisses.

"I'm sorry about the gym thing," I said. "It's a good gym, go ahead and ask him."

She shrugged. "I'll tell him but he can do what he wants, I don't care really."

Thursday morning I woke up with my cock in Jen's mouth. "Happy birthday baby," she said with my cock in her mouth, looking at me through heavy lidded eyes. I turned her onto her back and got between her long legs. She'd put on high heels! 

"You're so fucking sexy!" I gushed pushing inside her.

"Never forget it," she teased. I fucked her hard and came inside her. 

She made me breakfast, a rarity since she hated cooking. She hugged and kissed me as I left for work. It made me wish she was a stay-at-home wife, for a lot of reasons.

I went to my meeting at work and then met Jen at our apartment. She looked casual but gorgeous, her hair in a ponytail, pink lipstick, a tight cashmere sweater, skinny jeans and slim pink sneakers.

We took a taxi to Central Park. We strolled the park, holding hands, talking and laughing. We went to the zoo and had a great time looking at all the animals. We'd been there before of course but it was one of our favorite places. We found a nice tree and had lunch. We called it "our tree" because we'd been there more than once. Jen had packed a picnic lunch with wine, again a rarity with her (she hated cooking so much she normally found even making sandwiches a challenge). It was far but we walked home, enjoying the nice day and being together.

It was around 3 when we got home. Jen told me to sit in my favorite chair and made me a scotch. She sat in my lap and we made out for a while. She had me panting, and then she whispered in my ear, "I'll be right back." She put the glass of scotch in my hand and said "Don't move."

She went into our bedroom. When she came out later my jaw dropped at the new outfit she was wearing. A starched white shirt, short pleated skirt, white knee-high ribbed cotton socks and saddle shoes. She'd brushed her hair out and put in a pink ribbon. She wore a light coating of sweet pink lipstick.

She looked like a young school girl! She knows I love that look on her! One time she wore something similar to a Halloween party and I practically came in my pants. I was having the same reaction now.

She came to be until her bare knees touched mind. "Are you having a good birthday baby?" she said with a smile. 

"Yes! This is the best birthday of my life!" I gushed.

"Want to know something?" she said. When I nodded she bent at the waist and moved her lips close to my ear, her silky blond strands tickling my face. She whispered into my ear, "I'm gonna make your birthday next year even better."

God, she was making this such a special day for me!

She took my hands and put them on the back of her legs, on her calves over the knee high socks. She rarely wore knee highs, but I loved seeing them on her. They don't look good on most girls passed 20 or so, but her legs are so long and slim they look sooooo good on her.

I slowly ran my hands up her legs, feeling the ribbing of her cotton knee high socks, her soft bare skin above her knees, the swell of her tight ass under the short pleated skirt. She'd taken off her thong and put on cotton bikini panties to go with the schoolgirl look. I kneaded her ass and she softly moaned "Feels nice."

She straddled my legs, and we made out. I unbuttoned her blouse and reached in, cupping her small breasts. "You like them?" she asked me.

"You're perfect just the way you are," I said honestly.

She smiled and beamed at me, clearly pleased.

I picked her up and gently laid her on her back on our sofa (I'm not muscle bounded but she's so petite and light I can easily pick her up). I pulled her cotton panties down her long legs. I opened her legs and went down on her, using every trick I knew. I wanted to give her a lot of pleasure and after years together I knew all her buttons and what she liked. After a few minutes her body tensed and shuddered and she let out a long moan. I moved up on the sofa and held her as she recovered from her orgasm.

After she recovered (but still panting) she pulled me on top of her. She reached between us, unzipped my fly and then guided me into her. She felt so good, so warm and tight and smooth.

I took one of her legs in my hands and pressed my face against her calf, feeling the knee high socks against my cheek. I have a real leg and foot fetish. She knows it, and as I slowly moved in and out of her, she took her other leg and pressed the point of the high school cheerleader saddle shoe against my chest. My head spun with excitement.

I took off the shoe of the leg I was holding. She moved that foot to my face, pressing the sole against my nose. Her cute foot looked so sexy in those socks. I took her foot and sucked her toes right through the cotton. With her toes in my mouth, she took her other foot and pressed the hard toe of the saddle shoe against my cheek. With all this happening, and my cock still moving in and out of her pussy, I felt like I was going to pass out from excitement, and moments later I came.

I rested on her as I recovered from my orgasm. "You know me so well," I said admiringly, panting.

"Of course, I'm your wife."

She got off me, and then lowered her head and took me into her mouth, cleaning me with her mouth and tongue. Then she put my cock back in my pants. She freshened my drink. "Are you having a good birthday so far?" she asked.

"It's incredible, you're incredible," I gushed.

She smiled. "It's not over yet." She gave me the remote control so I could watch TV while I sipped the scotch, and told me she was going to make dinner now. This was a really special day. She'd made me breakfast this morning, packed a lunch picnic and now dinner. Pretty amazing birthday!

I tried to help but she shooed me out. She was in the kitchen non-stop for over an hour. Then I heard her go into our bedroom and take a shower. When she came out she blew me away again. She'd really dressed up. Her hair was up in an elegant way, and she wore the Chanel dress with black stockings and high heels. She'd gone from barely legal school girl to sexy sophisticated lady. I felt so lucky to be married to her.

We ate by candle light. She made some of my favorite dishes. It all tasted great. After dinner she gave me my birthday present. It was a photo of us in Cabo. In was in one of those frames that you could press a button and hear a recorded message. I pressed the button and heard Jen's beautiful voice. She sang the first part of her favorite Springsteen song, Thunder Road. But she'd changed the words:

The screen door slams 

My dress waves 

Like a vision I dance across to you 

As the radio plays 

Roy Orbison singing for the lonely 

Baby that's me and I want you only 

Don't turn away again 

I can't face life without you again 

Don't run back inside 

Baby you're what I'm here for 

So you're scared and you're thinking 

That maybe I don't love you any more 

Show a little faith there's magic in the night 

You're my baby and I'm all yours 

And that's alright with me

I was so moved. My throat caught when I listened to it. 

"I love you baby, you're everything to me," she said hugging me. "Don't ever forget it."

She took me into our bedroom and undressed me. Then she had me take off her dress. She was naked underneath except for a garter belt, black stockings and high heels. 

She started the shower and told me to step in. As the water ran down my back she reached up and undid her hair, letting the blonde locks fall sexily around her pretty face. 

Then she stepped into the shower still wearing the garter belt, stockings and heels! It looked incredible as the nylon got wet. She was literally a wet dream!

She soaped me up, giving me a massage. We made out and I got hard again, even though I'd already cum twice today. She crouched down in the high heels, so her head was level with my cock. With soap she softly massaged my cock and balls, and then her fingers slipped under me between my cheeks and across my asshole, gently rubbing me back and forth. I was panting and so hard it hurt.

The sucked me but just for a few seconds. Otherwise I would have cum. She pushed my cock up so it pressed against my stomach, and then she licked and kissed down the underside of my shaft. She licked further down, gently kissing and caressing my balls. 

She told me to put my foot on the side of the bath, opening me up. She kissed my balls again, and then she went farther down, the tip of her tongue rubbing my sandbar. I shuddered from pleasure.

Then she went still farther, her tongue getting close to my asshole. I stopped her by holding her head. "You don't have to do that," I said panting.

She looked up at me with bedroom eyes, the water sprinkling onto her pretty face. "I want to," she whispered huskily.

She dove under me again, and when her tongue touched my asshole it was like sparks going off in my head. She explored around my asshole with the tip of her tongue, and then she rubbed against it with the flat of her tongue. I groaned. 

She stopped just long enough to say, "Tell me when you're going to cum," and then her mouth and tongue returned to my asshole. Then she wrapped her hand around my shaft and stroked me.

It only took a few strokes. "I'm cumming!" I groaned.

She licked across my asshole one more time, and then she moved her face in front of my cock. She pumped me fast and hard, and then I came, shooting my cum all over her sweet pretty face.

I panted as I recovered, and watched as she moved my softening cock across her face, painting my cum across her cheeks, nose, and mouth.

Finally she stood up. Her high heels scratched across the tub floor. By then the water had washed my cum from her face. She put her arms around my neck. "Hi" she said to me looking into my eyes.

"Hi" I said back looking into hers, my arms around her slim waist.

Later we were in bed on our sides, looking at each other. "This has been the best birthday ever," I said. "Thank you."

She smiled. She reached down and cupped my cock. "Am I the first to ever do that to you?"

"Yeah." 

"Let's keep it that way," she joked, giving my cock a squeeze.

I laughed. Then asked, "Am I the only person to do that to you?"

"Um ... no comment," she said with a hesitant laugh. I could tell she didn't want to go there, and neither did I. I didn't want to ruin this moment.

But I couldn't help asking, "Have you ever done that to anyone else?"

"Nope," she said. I could tell she was telling the truth.

"Let's keep it that way," I told her, repeating her words.

"No worries there," she said with a laugh. That was an easy promise for her to make since I knew she didn't like to do it. 

She snuggled into my arm and we fell asleep.

About a week later I called Jen to tell her I would be working late. "No worries, I'll see you at home," she said.

Around 7 she called me. "How long do you think you'll be working?" she asked.

"Hmmm ... probably another couple of hours," I said.

"Okay ... um ... I was thinking of going for drinks with Scott," she said.

"I thought you were at the gym."

"We are, we just finished working out," she said.

"Oh ... he joined our gym?"

"Yeah – remembered we talked about it?"

"Yeah," I said. "I guess it's okay. I'll be home by 10."

"I'll definitely be home by then," she said.

I still had a lot of work to do but I found myself staring out the window. They worked together all day, sometimes they had lunch together, they hooked up one or twice a week. Now they work out together at night. She spent way more time with him than me. I kept looking out the window at the NYC skyline.

I got home at 10. I was afraid she wouldn't be there. During the Ricky thing, she often broke promises like that. But she was home on the sofa watching TV, and she had a wine glass waiting for me. She was still in her workout clothes.

She could tell I was bothered. "You know, we don't work out that often together," she said.

"Okay."

"This was the first time we've gone out after."

I nodded. "Thanks for calling me first."

She hugged me. "How's Sapphire?"

"We're close to SEC approval. We might launch next week. We've already lined up thousands of investors."

"That's great baby I'm so proud of you," she said hugging me again.

After a few moments I asked "Did you have sex?"

She paused, then nodded. "Yes."

"Where?"

"This is going to sound slutty, but in the alley behind the gym."

I couldn't help smiling. "You guys are like horny teenagers," I said. Then I said "You made him wear a condom right?" She was back on the pill and it was effective now, but I still didn't want him inside her bare or cum inside her.

"Always baby, I always put one on him."

"You put it on him?" I asked.

She heard the sharpness in my voice. A little hesitantly she said "Yeah, I mean ... yeah."

I gave her a whatever shrug. It bothered me. If a girl is horny and just wants fucked she'll tell the guy "put on a condom." But if she's into him, especially in a relationship with him, she'll put the condom on for him, use her hand or even her mouth to roll the condom over his shaft, as a sign of affection and even love. Jen had always put condoms on me, when we used them. Just another sign this was a relationship with Scott, not just hookups.

"Come on, don't get upset," she said giving me a smile. "Wanna check he wore a condom?" she asked extending her legs to me. 

I couldn't help smiling. I grabbed the waistband of the tights and pulled them off her legs, in the process also pulling off the thong underneath. I looked at her pussy.

"Come on, get closer," she whispered sexily to me. I got on my knees and she parted her legs.

"Do you see any cum?" she asked. When I shook my head, she said, "Touch me to make sure. But a little gentle okay? I'm a little sore."

I traced over and between her pussy lips. "You're always sore after fucking him?"

"A little bit, but I'm getting more used to him."

"His cock's really big," I said.

"Really big," she agreed. As I continued to caress her, she asked "Is my pussy as pretty as it used to be?" I'd always told her she had the prettiest pussy because it was petite and the lips were thin and tight, just a shade darker than the surrounding skin. 

The lips were swollen and not so tight together at the moment. "Your pussy is more beautiful than ever," I said truthfully.

She smiled and then closed her legs together, like a bashful girl. I opened them up again. "Did he make you cum?" When she nodded, I asked "Do you think you can cum again?"

"I might be able to," she said.

I went down on her. I tasted the rubber but didn't care. It look longer than usual but eventually she came. 

"I want you inside me," she said after recovering from her orgasm. We made love and I came inside her.

A week later we launched Sapphire. It was a real big day for me, the biggest of my professional career. Everyone from file clerks to even old man Jacob himself congratulated me. The number crunchers and partners in Chicago and London called me or emailed me with congrats. In my office I had a glass of champagne with my team and we toasted ourselves.

Jen and I were meeting later for dinner to celebrate. Around 5 she called me. "You won't believe this, Scott just got promoted to director," she said sounding awestruck.

"Wasn't he an account exec?" I asked.

"Yeah, he jumped two rungs, he's at the same level as me and Allie now," she said excitedly. 

"It doesn't seem fair, you were team leader on Kelloggs," I said.

"It's okay, I'm really happy for him, I couldn't have done Kelloggs without him," she gushed. I would rather she not be so enthused about his promotion, but didn't say anything knowing it was petty.

Then she said "A lot of people are going out tonight to celebrate. I should probably make an appearance."

"Okay," I said. "Do you want to meet at the restaurant after?"

"Can you stop by the bar?" she said. "We can leave from there."

Scott was the center of attention of course. Jen was next to him, smiling and looking really proud of him. I stood beside her and listened as everyone talked about how amazing he was. More than once Jen joined the chorus and gushed "Scott's freaking brilliant!"

I'd been there 30 minutes before Jen said "Oh honey congrats about Sapphire." She kissed me, but then turned her attention back to Scott and his big promotion.

I told Jen we needed to bolt to make our reservation. Scott heard me and insisted we go out with them, to celebrate both our big days. I didn't want to, but I could tell Jen did, so I agreed. 




All In My Head Ch. 06



There was a group of 10 people, I think the main Kelloggs team. There was more talking about how great Scott was, and toasts to congratulate him, and a lot of gossip about work. I felt like a complete third wheel. 

At one point Jen announced to everyone my Sapphire project had launched. "Oh yeah, how's that going bro?" Scott said, not sounding very interested. 

There wasn't a lot I could say. I mean, Sapphire wasn't something sexy like the Facebook IPO. Sapphire worked in the background, slowly at first, and my projections didn't have it showing any results for a few weeks.

I stumbled over my answer. Everyone gave me a half-hearted toast, and then their attention quickly returned to Scott and office gossip. Jen squeezed my hand and whispered "I'll make it up to you." But she quickly returned to their group discussion too, focusing a lot of her attention again on Scott.

I went to the bathroom. Passing the bar, I glanced at the TV. Anderson Cooper on CNN was doing a short blurb on this new investment vehicle called Sapphire. It made me feel a little better.

The dinner wound down and people started to leave. Scott whispered something to Jen. She whispered something back, shaking her head. They whispered some more. 

She came over to me. I expected her to tell me she wanted to go home with Scott. That's what she would have done during the Ricky thing. But instead she took my arm and said "Ready freddie?"

I was quiet on the taxi ride home. I felt really hurt, this was my big day. Okay, it was Scott's big day too, but who was her husband?

"Sorry about that," she said. She squeezed my hand. 

"Don't worry about it," I said. I didn't pull my hand away, but I didn't squeeze back. 

"I guess I got caught up with being with everyone," she tried to explain. "We haven't gone out as a group in a while."

"Sure," I said. I pulled my hand away and looked out the window. We rode the rest of the way in silence.

In our apartment I gave her the silent treatment. Sure, it was childish, but it gave me some satisfaction.

"Mike, I'm sorry," she said. When I didn't respond, she said frustrated "Will you talk to me?"

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. Then I looked at her. "You know what I've figured out?" I said. "You may love me. But you're completely infatuated with him. So if it's a choice between him and me, you always pick him."

"That's not true Mike. He wanted me to go home with him but I told him no."

I stared at her in amazement. "He asked you, today of all days?" I asked. "Yeah, he's really a nice guy Jen."

"Mike the point is--"

I held up my hand, interrupting her. "I don't care Jen. Don't do me any favors. If you want to be with him tonight, then go. I have to work anyway." 

I walked into the home office. I was hurt, jealous, and angry. To do something, I accessed the Sapphire server and ran through the logs and diagnostics. I raised an eyebrow at some of the numbers. It looked kind of strange. Not a big deal, but a little off. An anomaly.

Jen came in. She wedged herself between me and the computer. "I want to be here, with you," she said rubbing her stockinged leg against my hand. "I'm sorry about tonight. You know Callie and Val, right? They were there tonight? They've been in London since last year, and just got reassigned here last week. I guess I was excited to see them, but we should've gone to dinner ourselves, I was wrong." She rubbed her knee against my hand again. "It's your day baby. Let me make it up to you."

All my hurt, jealousy and anxiety came out. "It's my day unless Scott's around, right?" I said in a cold bitter voice. "Then it's his big day."

Her shoulders fell, as if in frustration, and maybe a little panic. She was used to getting her way using her pretty face and sexy body. "Mike, what do I have to do to convince you I love you?" Frustration and impatience were in her voice. "Okay, I admit, I was happy about Scott's promotion. But Scott's my friend, I have a lot of guy friends, it's never bothered you before."

I shook my head incredulously. How could she not see the difference? "You weren't fucking those guys Jen," I said glaring at her.

She looked distressed, like my words were a physical blow. "I told you I'd break it off with him," she said. 

"Yeah, like that worked with Ricky," I said to her sarcastically. We were silent for a few moments. In a more reasonable tone I said, "It's not your fault, I wanted this as much as you. But this thing between you and him just has to work its way through. Sometimes though, you're not going to be able to make it better for me. I'll just have to deal with it."

A little later in bed she reached for me, like she wanted makeup sex. I pushed her away, saying "I'm really tired and tomorrow's going to be a long day," I told her. 

"Okay," she said resigned. She rolled over on her side. I rolled over the other way.

By silent agreement we called a truce after that. For a while she stopped hooking up with Scott, but then she started up again. Not as much as before, every other week maybe. Things got better between us, I guess. We talked and made love, but I felt my birthday was the high point of our closeness since before Ricky. We felt disconnected, a rift between us. 

Or maybe it was me. I guess I was scared. I was afraid she was getting tired of my insecurity, my back-and-forth between jealousy and excitement, my weakness, my moodiness. On the one hand she had me, with all those many faults. On the other she had Scott, who was handsome, charming, charismatic, a karaoke-god and "freaking brilliant." Why not cut her loses with me and move over to the winning team? We didn't have kids. We owned our apartment but we could easily sell it. She made a lot of money in her job. It was clear Scott wanted her, not just her body, but all of her. Why not cut me loose and go with someone who rocked her world?

I figured she wouldn't ask for a divorce right away. She'd tell me we needed some time apart. Maybe she'd pitch it like it was for my benefit, to give me space to concentrate on Sapphire. She'd let me stay in the apartment to make it easy on me, and she'd move in with Allie. Maybe she'd suggest we have dinner a few times a week, to stay connected. She'd see Scott of course, so she could work out her feelings for him. But really, what did she have to work out? It was clear she wanted him more than me. She'd shown that. 

One night Jen excited told me Johnny (her boss) had assigned her to lead a new project. They were going to pitch for Google's on-line advertising work. This was way bigger than Kelloggs, it was so big 3 directors would manage it. Jen would lead the team, and Allie would be her second.

"Johnny put Scott on my team too," she told me, a little hesitantly. 

Of course, I thought to myself. Now they'd be spending even more time together. But I put on a brave face and didn't show my anxiety. "Baby I'm so proud of you!" I said. And I really was proud of her. I took her to a really nice dinner to celebrate. But inside I felt even more anxiety.

A few weeks later, on Saturday, I had to go into the office to work on Sapphire. Jen was okay with that because she had to work on Google for a while. We agreed to meet later that afternoon.

I met with Steve, Brian and Elaine. The anomaly was still in the Sapphire numbers, and I wanted to brainstorm to figure out what it was and what it could mean. The number crunchers in SF had noticed the anomaly too, and they were analyzing it. I wanted to figure out what it was before anyone else. 

We made some progress. We decided to go to lunch and then call it a day. After all, it was probably no big deal. Sapphire was starting to make money. In fact its performance was running very close to my projections. So we decided to go to lunch for a little celebration.

The trendy mid-town restaurant was busy. As we waited in line, my heart jumped when I saw Jen ahead of us, also waiting for a table. Scott was with her.

She looked super hot. She wore cutoff jean shorts that barely covered her tight butt and showed off her shapely legs. She wore a snug short sleeve top that buttoned up the front. She finished the outfit with ankle high boots, which emphasized how long her legs were. She looked extremely cute and very sexy too.

As they waited in line, she and Scott were talking and laughing in a very relaxed familiar way. His hand moved to her back while they spoke. Then he curled a finger in her back pocket to bring her closer to him, and said something to her. She smiled and said something back. She didn't make him take his finger out of her pocket. The way they acted was the way a boyfriend and girlfriend would act. 

I looked nervously at my team. Steve and Brian both knew Jen. Luckily they weren't looking that way. 

Jen was laughing at something Scott said, and she turned my way. Her laugh caught as she saw me. Scott looked where she was looking and saw me. He scowled. The asshole scowled at me! Jen subtlety removed Scott's hand from her ass. 

She came to me and gave me a kiss. "What a great surprise!" she said hugging me. She gave hello hugs to Steve and Brian, who she knew. I introduced her to Elaine. She smiled at Elaine and gave her a hug too, but there was wariness there.

We got a big table for all of us. At first Scott was the life of the party again as usual, telling interesting stories. But then Jen asked my team about Sapphire. They were so excited they talked over each other. They talked about how Sapphire was a brilliant idea, how it would not only make a lot of money for us and our clients, but also make the market more transparent and predictable that the public would trust Wall Street again. 

Scott looked bored. Jen squeezed my hand, proud of me.

"I'm sorry for the touchy-feely thing," Jen said when we were alone after lunch. "They didn't see did they?"

"I thought you were working on Google," I said.

"I did – he's on my team, remember?"

"You don't look dressed for work," I said looking at her short shorts and sexy boots.

"I dressed for you!" she said.

"Does he always touch you like that in public?" 

"No – I guess he was frisky today."

"It's not like you stopped him," I accused her.

"Mike, stop," she said grabbing me. "We've both been so busy. Let's not fight okay?"

I took a deep breath. "You're right, I'm sorry." I hugged her. "I guess I'm stressed about work."

"Is everything alright?"

I thought of the anomaly. But I said, "Yeah, just a lot to do."

We had a nice day and we made love that night, but still everything wasn't right between us. 

We hardly saw each other because of our jobs, and when we did it felt like we were both walking on egg shells. Each time I saw her I was afraid she'd say something like, "Mike, we need to talk, this isn't working for me, I'm not feeling it ..."

A week later Jen told me she had to go to Vegas that weekend. Google execs were at a big tradeshow at the Venetian and this was a good chance for networking. "Allie and Scott will be going with me," she said.

"Okay," I said, feeling my stomach tighten up.

Then she delivered the bombshell. "It's Scott's birthday this weekend. I'd like to ... hang out with him."

When had "hang out" become "fuck his brains out"?

"Okay," I said again, feeling numb. What else could I say? They'd be together all weekend, they'd do it no matter what I said.

She rubbed my arm. "Are you okay? I won't if you don't want me to, it's not a big deal."

I shrugged. "I'm okay with it," I lied. What was the point?

She eyed me. "You look upset. Good upset? Bad upset?"

I forced a smile. "I'm not upset at all," I said lying again.

That night she tried to seduce me. That's how I started thinking of it. Seduce me to make me feel better, so she wouldn't feel guilty being with Scott. Deep down I knew it was unfair, but I couldn't help thinking it, I was hurting too much. 

I gave her the "I'm too tired excuse" again. In bed she rolled her way and I rolled mine.

Then on Thursday the shit hit the fan. 

We got the latest performance data on Sapphire. Its return was lower than my projection. Not a lot, but moving down. It didn't make sense.

Then Brian, Steve and Elaine came into my office. Their faces looked like death. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"The brainiacs just called about the anomaly," Elaine said.

"Okay, what?" I asked.

Just then Eric burst in. "Mike, my office, now!" he practically shouted.

Eric closed the door as we walked into his office. Old man Jacob and three other powerful partners were there, Moe, Larry, and Curly (that wasn't really their names, but everyone called them that behind their back). The number crunchers were there via video conference. So were partners in Chicago and London. This did not look good.

"Have you seen the anomaly analysis?" Moe demanded.

I shook my head. "We just received it."

"Well let us enlighten you!" Larry yelled. "Sapphire doesn't fucking work!"

"This is a disaster," Curly said putting his head in his hands. "A fucking disaster."

The number crunchers said the fundamentals of Sapphire were all wrong. That was the reason for the anomaly. The brainiacs said the problem was with the alpha progression, it was all wrong, a major fuck up. But it was clear the brainiacs didn't know what they were talking about. They hadn't figure out what was wrong. I hadn't either so I couldn't defend myself.

"This is a fucking nightmare!" a Chicago partner yelled. "This is worse than Enron, worse than the home mortgage scam, worse than the auto bailout!"

A partner from London said "Sapphire is a farce. Our clients will lose everything – tens, hundreds of millions. Expect law suits gentlemen."

Always the pessimist, Curly nodded his head, resigned. "People are going to jail over this."

Jacob held up his hand, and everyone stopped talking. "Calm down," he said. "This can be managed, as long as we are proactive. Mike, who is in charge of the alpha progression?"

"It's a team effort," I said immediately.

Jacob frowned at my answer. One of the brainiacs said, "Brian is in charge of Alpha, and Steve assisted."

Larry knew where Jacob was going. "Fire Brian right now," Larry ordered me.

A Chicago partner said, "That won't be enough. Steve needs to go too."

"You're right," Larry said nodding. "Mike, fire Brian and Steve right now, today," he ordered me. "Fire that kid too, the blonde with the big tits, what's her name, Elaine?"

"I worked on Alpha too," I said.

"Mike, your job is safe," Eric said reassuringly. "Everyone still believes Sapphire was a brilliant idea. You still have a great future here."

All the partners nodded, agreeing with Eric. Old man Jacob nodded too, and said "It's not your fault. Your team let you down Mike. Brian, Steve and Elaine need to go."

I thought of Brian and Steve, guys I'd worked with for years. They were my friends. Their careers would be severely damaged if they were fired over this. I thought of Brain's 2 kids, his wife pregnant with their third. How would he support them? And Elaine was just starting out in her career. Could she recover from something like this?

I looked Jacob in the eye. "No sir," I said.

"What did you say?" Jacob said in a low dangerous voice.

"That's not the way to do it sir," I said. "I can fix Sapphire. But I need my entire team to do that."

"It can't be fixed," one of the brainiacs said.

"Fire them right now!" Larry growled.

I stared down the brainiac, somehow maintaining my cool. "You looked at Sapphire weeks ago and blessed it. You say Sapphire is broken but you can't explain why. Why aren't you being fired?" 

Then I glared at Larry, but I still managed to keep my voice level. "I'm team leader. Fire me if you want. Only cowards look for scapegoats to save their own skin. "

There was a gasp in the room. No one talked to partners like that. I knew my career was over no matter what happened with Sapphire.

Old man Jacob eyed me, an amused interested look. He said "You have until Monday morning, before the markets open." Then he added "If Sapphire is not fixed by then there will be dire consequences." It wasn't a threat, more like a statement of fact.

"Yes sir," I said. I turned and left. As I did Eric was shaking his head. I went into my office and closed the door. My hands were shaking and I found it hard to breath. I felt the world crashing down on me.

There was a knock, and my team walked in. "How it go?" Brian asked.

I needed to see Jen. She was flying to Vegas tonight. We'd kissed goodbye that morning, but she planned to stop by our apartment on the way to the airport.

"I'll be back in an hour," I told Brian. "Be here when I get back, all of you."

Jen was finishing packing when I got home. "This is a surprise," she said kissing me. 

I hugged her. I had an urge to pack a bag and take her away, fly to Europe or something, away from Scott, away from Sapphire. But I had to stay. I had to fix Sapphire, if only for Brian, Steve and Elaine.

"Are you okay?" she said worried, looking into my face.

"Yeah," I lied. "I just wanted to see you before you left."

"I'm glad you did," she said smiling running her hand up my chest. Looking at my face she frowned again. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," I lied.

"You know, about Scott--"

I interrupted her. "It's okay, it's his birthday, I'm good with it."

She was about to say something when my cell rang. It was Eric. "Mike, where the hell are you?" he said sounding panicked. 

"Jen's going to Vegas for work," I explained.

"Then give her a kiss goodbye and get your ass back here!" he said the panic rising.

"I've got to get back," I told her.

"Okay," she said. "It'll wait until I get back. I'll be home Sunday night." She looked at me concerned. "Is everything alright at work?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," I lied. I kissed her and then hugged her really tight. I didn't want to let her go. Then her taxi arrived and we broke way.

"See you Sunday baby," she said kissing me. "I'll call you okay?"

"Okay," I agreed, forcing a smile.

In the taxi back to the office, I imagined the next few days. I'd probably get fired no matter what happened with Sapphire. But hopefully I could save Steve, Brian and Elaine's jobs, and make back some of the money for our clients so they wouldn't be financially ruined.

Would Jen stay with me if I got fired? I'd have a hard time finding another job with the Sapphire fiasco. Why wouldn't she jump ship to Scott? She clearly had feelings for him. He was better looking, a better lover, and he'd have a good job and bright future, unlike me. I'd be damaged goods. Why would a girl as beautiful as Jen want to stay with a loser like me?

My team and I worked all evening, and then again Friday. It didn't make sense. Everything worked. We checked and re-checked. We couldn't find any bugs. Yes, the anomaly was there, and it seemed to be coming from the Alpha module, but we couldn't figure out why. I personally went through the Alpha software line by line and couldn't see any bugs. What the hell was going on?

Jen called Thursday night. She was surprised I was still at the office. I was still there when she called Friday morning. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," I lied. I didn't want to tell her what was going on. If she told Scott and Allie, they'd use this failure as another way to belittle me in her eyes. I'd wait to tell her when she was back home.

There was always a lot of background noise when she called, a lot of partying. It was Vegas after all. I heard Scott in the background, talking over me as I tried to talk to her. More than once Jen giggled and said on the phone to me, "I've got to go honey, call you later." 

I imagined her tossing the phone into her purse, me already forgotten. She'd walk off laughing with him, looking into his eyes, his arm around her or holding his hand, getting closer and closer to him.




All In My Head Ch. 06



We worked all day Friday but we still couldn't find the error. I sent my team home at 7pm. They promised to return the next morning. I continued to work Friday evening. I hadn't been home since seeing Jen off to Vegas.

I checked the demographics of our investors. They weren't all rich. Many were moms and dads getting ready to send their kids to college, or people about to retire. If I couldn't fix Sapphire a lot of them would be ruined. 

By Saturday night I'd figured out a work around. Not a solution – the anomaly was still there – but a soft landing. A legal way to turn off Sapphire while preserving some of our clients' money. 

Late Saturday night Eric came around. After explaining my workaround, I said "Our clients would get back about half their money."

Eric nodded. "It's something but still bad though," he said. 

"Yeah," I agreed. Yes it was bad, but at least our clients wouldn't be completely financially ruined.

Eric looked at me. "Mike you're going to come out of this okay. I wasn't kidding, all the partners think you're brilliant; you have a very bright future. But I think your team is history."

"That's bullshit Eric. It's my fault, not theirs, you can't fire them," I insisted.

He shrugged. "You know how it works Mike. You're valuable. The firm doesn't give shit about them, they're a dime a dozen. Someone needs to go down for this, and it's going to be Brian, Steve and Elaine."

"Listen Eric," I said taking another tack. "Everyone blessed Sapphire. The number crunchers, the Chicago and London partners, old man Jacob, fuck Eric even you."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "What are you saying?" he said.

"I'll take the fall," I offered him. "The firm can say anything it wants about me, they can say I fucked up, that I went rogue, whatever. But Brian, Steve and Elaine get a clean slate."

"Why the fuck would you do that?!" Eric yelled amazed and frustrated, knowing my career would be in the toilet. "They didn't do their jobs, they didn't watch your back, you're the team leader, you can't do everything, they fucked up not you!"

"Eric, it was my idea, not theirs," I told him. "And admit it, this way is better, it shields the firm better than firing my team."

He shook his head like I was crazy. But he knew I was right. "I'll tell old man Jacob."

"If he agrees then my team is okay," I pushed him. "You swear," I said offering my hand to seal the deal.

He scowled at me, but took my hand. "You have my word," he said grudgingly. 

I felt better. Our clients would get some of their money back. Brian, Steve and Elaine would keep their jobs, at least long enough to move somewhere else without any damage to their careers. My career on Wall Street was toast, but there were other things I could do. Maybe I'd teach somewhere. I could teach high school math or something. Things could still work out.

As long as I had Jen. She was the key to everything for me. As long as she stayed with me I'd be happy.

It was late Saturday. I called Jen but she didn't answer. Then I remembered, today was Scott's birthday. I didn't want to think about what they were doing together. I decided not to call anymore tonight. She'd be home tomorrow and I'd confess everything to her.

Again I worked through the night, hoping I'd figure out the anomaly. I fell asleep at my desk again. My team arrived Sunday morning and Steve woke me up. I checked my phone. Jen had called telling me she was boarding the flight home. 

We worked but still we couldn't figure it out. There were no bugs, yet the anomaly would not go away. It made no sense!

In the afternoon I went home. I planned to pick Jen up at the airport, and I wanted to shower, shave and put on new clothes. My team promised to keep working, and I'd join them later that night.

At home I checked my email. I hadn't looked at it all weekend. There was an email from Scott. Why the fuck would he email me?

There was a big file. It was a video. Preparing for the worse, I double clicked it.

The video began playing. The date stamp said last night. Scott was grinning looking smug and arrogate. "Hey bro, you're gonna love what Jen's giving me for my birthday." Then the picture moved like he was setting it up on a tripod.

Jen and Allie walked into the room. They both looked hot wearing slinky black dresses and high heels. Jen was wearing the Chanel dress. They were giggling and holding hands, the way girls do. Clearly they were both drunk.

They both got on the bed. Then Scott joined them, reclining on his arm and watching them. He had a big grin on his face. "Okay, let's get the show started," he said.

"I can't believe I said I'd do this!" Jen giggled putting her head in her hands. 

"No backing out now, it's my birthday," Scott said. Then he said with an arrogant grin, "Would you do this for Mike?"

"No freaking way!" she said laughing.

Scott put his hand behind Allie's head and pulled her to him, kissing her. They made out for a while. Scott's hands explored Allie's body, fondling her big breasts over her dress. He was rough, but she seemed to like it that way. "You know how long I've wanted to feel these?" he asked cupping and squeezing her big tits.

"Yeah?" Allie moaned. She reached down and cupped his cock. "You know who long I've wanted to feel this?" she breathed. She stroked him through his pants and said, "God Jen he's so fucking big."

Jen was beside them in bed, on her knees. She watched them fondle and kiss each other, and I could tell she was getting hot. "He fucks so good too Allie," she said. Hearing her, Scott pulled Jen to him. He made out with Jen while he fondled Allie's tits.

He pulled away from both of them. They were all panting. Jen had her cum face on. "You two kiss now," Scott said. He leaned back to watch.

Allie and Jen both looked hesitant. Allie got close to Jen so their faces almost touched. "Ready for this?" Allie said.

"I'm not sure," Jen said.

Then Allie pressed her lips against Jen's. They kissed awkwardly, two straight girls kissing each other. But they got more comfortable at it, and started getting into it. After a few minutes they broke apart, both gasping. 

Scott lit a joint. He took a long drag then gave it to Jen. Jen welcomed it and took a long drag. Allie did the same thing. They passed the joint around and then did another. Jen and Allie both looked buzzed.

"Kiss again," Scott urged them. This time there was less awkwardness. They made out for a while. 

"Touch each other," Scott said. "Jen, take off Allie's dress."

Jen reached behind Allie and unzipped her dress. Allie helped her pull it off. Allie wasn't wearing anything underneath. All she had on now were her high heels.

For the first time I saw Allie's nude body. She was magnificent. Her natural breasts were large and perfect, her stomach flat and her legs long and shapely. Her pussy was completely bare, unlike Jen who kept a small patch above her clit. 

"Jen, suck Allie's tits," Scott ordered. Jen did, lowering her head. She cupped and fondled Allie's big breasts and sucked her nipples. Scott kissed and made out with Allie as Jen worked on her tits.

"Allie, take off Jen's dress," Scott ordered. Jen turned and held up her hair while Allie unzipped the dress. Jen pulled the dress over her head and threw it on the floor, next to Allie's. Jen was naked underneath too, except for thigh high stockings and high heels.

Not waiting for Scott's order, Allie kissed and fondled Jen's breasts. Jen's breathing became labored, even while she reached down and cupped and fondled Allie's much larger breasts.

"Don't you wish yours were as big as Allie's?" Scott asked her. 

Jen nodded fondling Allie's big breasts. She had her cum face on. "Someday I want to feel a big cock fucking my tits," Jen said.

"Mike's?" Scott asked.

"No, yours," Jen said reaching for Scott's crotch and they kissed and made out.

Then Scott broke away from Jen and the two girls kissed again. They broke away and Allie kissed and sucked Jen's nipples. Jen moaned, her head rolling back.

"Would you put on this show for Mike?" Scott asked Jen with a smug smile.

"No," Jen said, her eyes closed as Allie worked on her nipples. "I don't want to think about him okay?" 

Scott smiled and briefly looked in the direction of the camera. He grabbed Jen's blonde hair and she opened her eyes, although they were heavy lidded with lust. "Open your mouth," he ordered. She did and he spit into her mouth. Jen looked surprised but she didn't object, and she swallowed his spit. Then he pressed his lips against hers and they made out and tongued each other.

The girls undressed him. Allie ran her hands over his body. "Isn't he gorgeous?" Jen gushed to her friend.

They pushed Scott onto his bank and then both went down on him. It was like a porno flick. Jen would swallow his shaft while Allie sucked his balls, and then they would trade places. "Allie have you ever sucked Mike?" he asked.

"Yeah right," Allie said rolling her eyes. Scott laughed again.

Jen was sideways to the camera, sucking Scott. She shifted to suck his balls, so her back came into view. My heart froze. There was a tattoo on her back! It was black a few inches across, a tribal design, right above her ass. I couldn't believe it. She'd gotten herself tattooed without even talking to me about it!

"I wanna fuck this body," Scott said running his hands over Allie.

"Yeah Scott fuck her," Jen said her lips and chin moist from sucking him.

Allie rolled over and Scott got between her legs. He pressed his big cock between Allie's pussy lips. "Kiss Allie," Scott told Jen.

Jen leaned over and kissed her friend. "You're gonna so fucking love this," she breathed into Allie's mouth.

Allie gasped as Scott entered her. "Oh my fucking god!" she cried as he pushed himself into her. He put Allie's long legs on his shoulders and fucked her hard and fast. "Oh god fuck me fuck me fuck me!" she cried as he pounded her. Then she came on his cock, her body tensing and shuddering so much her heels fell off her feet.

He pulled out and lay back on his back. He grabbed Jen's hair and pulled her head to his crotch. "Lick Allie's juices off me," he commanded. Jen licked and suck him.

As Jen went down on him, he asked Allie, "Has Mike ever fucked you?"

Allie laughed derisively and looked at Jen. "In a million years I'd never fuck Mike." Scott laughed.

Allie joined Jen at Scott's cock. "I could so get used to this thing," Allie said in awe.

"Isn't it incredible?" Jen gushed. They kissed again, and then went back to pleasing Scott with their mouths and tongues.

Scott looked like he was getting close to blow. He pushed Jen onto her back. "Allie, I want to see you eat Jen out." Allie got between Jen's legs. She tentatively extended her tongue. Clearly she'd never done this before to a girl. But as with the kissing, she got into it and Jen was soon moaning.

Scott stroked Jen's clit as Allie ate her. Jen moaned and writhed under their combined touch. Scott fingered the small trimmed patch Jen kept over her clit. "Why don't you go bare like Allie, it's so hot," he asked.

"She keeps it that way for Mike, to prove she's a natural blonde," Allie said, rolling her eyes. Then she went back to eating out Jen. I could tell Jen was close to cumming.

"I'm gonna shave it off," Scott said reaching for his shave kit. He poured some oil on Jen's bush and got his razer. "Okay Jen?"

"Yeah yeah, go ahead, shave it off, make me bare like Allie," she moaned writhing under Allie's tongue. 

"What about Mike?" he asked fingering her clit.

Jen arched her back at his touch. "I don't care, just do it," she groaned so closed to cumming.

It took 2 swipes of the razer and then Jen's natural blonde bush was gone.

Then Scott pushed Allie away. "I want to taste that pussy," he said stroking between Jen's lips with his finger. "Allie, sit on Jen's face, I want to see her eat you out."

Allie straddled Jen's head and then lowered her pussy onto her pretty face. Like Allie, Jen licked awkwardly at first, but then got into it. Scott watched Jen eat out Allie, and then he went down on Jen, making Jen moan into Allie's pussy.

Then Scott got on his knees between Jen's spread legs. Jen was into eating out Allie, and Allie's head was rolled back, moaning.

It was like seeing it in slow motion. Scott was rock hard, his cock long and thick. He hadn't cum yet. He wasn't wearing a condom (Allie apparently didn't mind bareback). 

He moved up between Jen's legs and then he pushed in. He penetrated her pussy with his bare cock.

Jen grunted at the sudden penetration. Scott fucked her hard and fast. He made out with Allie and fondled her big breasts as he fucked my wife bareback.

Then he pushed Allie off Jen's face. He leaned down and Jen wrapped her arms around his neck. They kissed and tongued each other as they fucked. 

Allie got close and fondled Jen's tits. "Does he fuck you good Jen?" Allie said.

"Oh god he feels so good inside me," Jen moaned. They kissed and made out as Scott fucked Jen.

Scott pulled out and moved Jen to her hands and knees. He pushed back in balls deep and fucked her doggy style. Now though he was taking slow and deep strokes. "God yeah that feels so good!" Jen said.

As he fucked her Scott caressed her new tat. "Your new bullseye is so fucking sexy," he admired tracing the pattern with his fingers. 

"You better like it, you picked it out," Jen giggled.

He moved her back onto her back, and fucked her missionary again. He put her stockinged legs on his shoulders, getting in real deep that way. He kissed her and she moaned into his mouth. "Oh god this feels so good!" Jen cried. She was close to cumming.

"You know I'm not wearing a condom, right?" Scott said his face close to hers. 

"Yeah I know it feels so fucking good!" Jen cried.

"You've wanted it this way, huh?" Scott said with a smug smile.

"Yes! God! I've always wanted you this way!" Jen screamed as her orgasm hit, her body shuttering with pleasure.

"I'm cumming too babe where do you want it?" Scott growled.

"God cum inside me baby! I want to feel you cum inside me!" Jen cried urgently, her arms and legs wrapping around him and hugging him close.

Scott grunted and lunged once, twice and then three times into Jen's pussy. I knew he was shooting his sperm into her with each powerful lunge. Jen kept her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him, making sure he came inside her, and I think she had another mini-orgasm as she felt his sperm hit her inner walls.

They held each other as they recovered from their orgasms. Scott pulled out and I had a clear view of Jen's pussy. Her pussy looked thoroughly used, and milky thick sperm seeped between her pussy lips.

"That was so good!" Scott said caressing Jen's stockinged leg.

"The best ever!" Jen gushed, a big delighted smile on her face.

Then the video went dark. I thought it was over, but then Scott came back onto the screen. The room was empty so he must have added this after the girls had left. 

He had a smug triumphant smile on his face. "Hey asshole," he said to me on the video. "So you don't want me fucking her bareback, huh? Well, guess what? Your pretty wife took my load and loved it! Think she'll ever make me use a condom again? Maybe I even knocked her up tonight. She'll get fat with my baby. What do you think of that shit head?"

Then the video ended, the picture freezing on Scott's face. He wore a smug arrogant smile.

I couldn't move. I just sat in the chair and kept looking at the frozen picture of Scott. Feeling the world crashing down on me.



All In My Head Ch. 07



It was dark outside when I heard the door open. I hadn't moved, still sitting in the chair, looking at the frozen picture of Scott.

Jen walked in with her suitcase. She looked at me and smiled. "Weren't you gonna meet me at the airport?" she asked.

She saw my face and how my eyes were focused on the computer screen. "What?" she asked moving to see. I got up and she sat down. 

She stared at the screen for a moment, not understanding what it was. She clicked "play" and the video started again with Scott saying "Hey bro, you're gonna love what Jen's giving me for my birthday," and then she watched as she and Allie walked into the picture.

"Oh shit," she said and hit "stop." 

She looked at me. "Mike, I didn't know he made this," she said. She moved towards me. "Let me explain."

What was there to explain? She'd gotten tattooed for him. She'd given him a threesome with Allie. She'd let him fuck her bareback, and let him shoot his cum inside her. 

I felt empty, tired, defeated. Yeah, it was a game. Yeah, I was part of it. She said she loved me. But if she did – if she really did – how could she treat me this way?

And how could we stay together now? How could I stay with her, having seen what I'd seen, knowing what she'd done, what she'd said? There were limits. Everyone has limits.

"Baby, I'm sorry, let me explain," she said putting her arms around me.

"Please don't touch me," I said pulling away. There was no anger in my voice. No emotion. There was nothing there. She pulled back hearing how empty I was.

"Mike ..." she began, trying to figure out what to say. "I was drunk. And then we smoked pot and I got high. I'm sorry. I let it get out of control."

"You say that a lot," I said. No anger, no bitterness, no sadness. Just a statement of fact. I was empty inside, dead. I got up. 

"Where are you going?" she said looking scared.

"It's not your fault," I said. "But I need to go. I'm too ... obsessed with you. But I can't take it anymore. It's too much."

As I left our apartment she was crying and calling my name.

I walked around. Not really thinking or feeling anything. My body was still alive I guess, but there was nothing inside.

At some point I stood in front of my office building. I don't know how I got there. 

I went into my office. Immediately Elaine, Brian and Steve came in. They looked scared and anxious.

"Mike, Eric told us about the deal you made," Steve said. "We won't agree to it, we're together on this, a team."

"I fucked up Mike, not you," Brian said. "I should be fired, no one else." Steve and Elaine quickly disagreed. 

I cut them off. "It doesn't matter anymore," I said. 

"What do you mean?" Steve said.

"Can you give me a minute?" I told them. I didn't want them there, I didn't want anyone there, I wanted to be alone.

Maybe because she's a girl, Elaine read me. She said, "Mike, is everything alright with you and Jen?"

A long pause. "No," I said simply. "Give me a minute guys, okay?" I closed the door. Sat in my chair. Looked at my computer. 

And then it came to me. Why Sapphire was broken and how to fix it. I shook my head. How stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

We'd put boundaries into Sapphire. Not intentionally. But the boundaries were acting like a dam. And when you put up a dam to hold back water, you better make sure the water doesn't do bad things like flood adjacent land.

Some of our code was acting like a dam on Sapphire. It was holding her back and bad things were happening. It was like a Y2K thing.

I removed the dams from Sapphire. I increased max values, changed integer variables to real, modified limiting functions, stuff like that. It took about 15 minutes. Then I re-ran it. The anomaly was gone.

For shits and giggles – because I didn't care anymore – I ran a new performance projection. I shook my head and chuckled. Sapphire's new performance – her true performance – was way better than before. Way way better. Like exponential better.

I emailed my fixes to all the partners. I attached the new performance numbers. At the end of the email I wrote "I respectfully resign." I was done.

I looked around my office. I'd never be back, and wondered if I should take anything. I saw the picture Jen gave me on my birthday. The one of us in Cabo, the one where she changed the Springsteen lyrics. Impulsively I put it into my pocket.

When I opened the door, Brian, Steve and Elaine were there. I'd cc'd them on the email. They looked relieved but unsure. I gave them a smile and shook Brian and Steve's hands and gave Elaine a hug but didn't say anything to them.

As I waited for the elevator, I turned and saw old man Jacob. The old geezer was in the office this late on Sunday. For a moment we looked into the other's eyes. He had that amused interested look again. The elevator doors opened and I stepped in. 

The next days were a blur. If asked where I went, what I did, where I slept, I wouldn't be able to say. 

Eventually the numbness went away and the feelings returned. You know how you stub your toe and you don't feel anything at first, and then the pain hits? That's how it was. It was – I guess I'd say – debilitating. That's how bad the pain was. 

I called Claire and Sam. I didn't have my iphone – I didn't know where it was – so I used a pay phone. "I'm all fucked up," I told them.

"Mike, honey, Jen is worried sick, everyone is looking for you," Claire said. "You need to go home, okay?"

"Where are you buddy?" Sam said. "We'll send a cab for you."

"I can't be with her anymore Sam," I told him. It came out as a sob. I hung up the phone.

I'm a math geek. One to two, two to three, that stuff. When I thought of Jen I couldn't figure it out. I didn't have a solution. I couldn't get from one to two or two to three.

She'd known I didn't want him bareback inside her. She let him do that.

She'd known I didn't want him to cum inside her. She let him do that.

She'd known I didn't want her to get a tattoo. She got one. For him. He'd picked it out.

She'd known I hated Scott. But she kept going with him. She even let him shave her.

I thought about what I was going to do next. The more I thought about a high school math job, the more I liked it. I wanted out of the fast lane, out of the high expectations that go with an "upwardly mobile" job. 

I thought about moving west. Mostly to get far away from NYC. San Francisco didn't appeal to me (the number crunchers were there). Neither did LA. Seattle sounded good. I'd never been there, but it was on the water and they had a good football team with a young exciting quarterback. What the hell. I made a few phone calls, and was surprised at the response.

I knew I couldn't leave without seeing Jen. We both needed some closure. I called her at work but she wasn't there. I called her at home. Her voice was just as unemotional as mine. We agreed to meet that evening at the Soho bistro we go to.

That evening as I approached the bistro I closed my heart to Jen. I'd be like Sapphire, with dams in my heart, not letting anything in. It was over. We both had some things to say. We both had some questions to get answered. We'd do that and then it would be done. Time to move on. Maybe I'd get season tickets, get satellite and Sunday Ticket. Things were looking up.

She was already there. She was gorgeous as usual, but I closed my heart to her. Her eyes looked red from crying, but I closed my heart to her. She looked fragile, but I closed my heart to her. For a while we didn't talk, like 2 boxers sitting in opposite corners, wary of each other.

She reached into her bag and pulled out 2 envelopes, one green the other blue. "Mr. Jacob came by and gave you these."

"He came to the apartment?" I asked surprised.

"Yes," she said. She pointed to the green one. "He said that's for Sapphire." Then she pointed to the blue one. "He said that's for not letting them fire Steve, Brian and Elaine."

I took the envelopes but didn't open them.

"I wish you'd told me what was going on at work," she said softly, regret in her voice. "I never would have gone to Vegas." 

I didn't say anything. I closed my heart to her. 

After a few moments, when it was clear I wasn't going to say anything, she said, "I talked to Steve. Brian too. They got promotions."

I looked up at that one, and couldn't help a grin. "They did?"

"Yeah," Jen said. "They really think a lot of you." She paused looking at me. "They told me the deal you made with the partners." She reached over and squeezed my hand.

"It wasn't a big deal," I said under my breath looking away from her. I pulled my hand away. I closed my heart. It was done, over.

She winced when I pulled my hand away. Her eyes watered. After a few moments she said "I think it's a real big deal. So does Eric."

"You talked to Eric?"

"He came to our apartment looking for you," she said. "He said you resigned?" 

I shrugged. "I'm thinking of teaching high school math or something."

She nodded. "You always liked teaching." I'd been a TA in grad school.

"I got an offer from West High School," I said. "It's in Seattle."

She slowly nodded but didn't say anything, as if processing what I'd just said. We went to our separate corners.

"It must've been terrible going through it alone," she said breaking the silence, regret in her voice again. "I wish you'd told me. I wouldn't have gone to Vegas. I would've been here for you Mike. You know that right?"

Yeah right, I thought. Like you were there when we launched Sapphire. Or in the Hamptons. Or on the video. Or even on fucking karaoke night, when I disappointed you. But I didn't say anything. My heart was closed to her.

"I know you don't believe me. I don't blame you," she said softly, eyes downcast. "It's true though," she insisted.

I couldn't take anymore. The hurt and anger and bitterness came out. "Seriously Jen?" I said derisively. "Remember, I saw the video."

She looked away like my words were a physical blow. Tears rolled down her cheeks. The waiter came by. I ordered something, just to get rid of him. He saw the intensity of our conversation and quickly left.

"You probably won't believe me," she began, "but I'd already decided to end it with Scott. I told him, and he said it was his birthday in Vegas and asked me to hook up one more time with him."

"So you wanted to fuck him one more time, is that it?" I said scathingly. 

She winced at my words. "I mean, by now you've figured out I'm a slut, right?" she said with a self-deprecating laugh, her eyes and cheeks wet with tears. 

Silence. Our two corners.

"How'd Allie get involved?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

She shrugged. "He wanted her, she wanted him." She shrugged again.

"So that's why you broke it off with him," I said, the pieces coming together. "Because he wanted Allie."

"No Mike," she said as if pleading with me to understand and believe her. "I don't care what he does." She squeezed my hand. "You're the only one I care about." 

"On the video," she continued, "That's why I said I wouldn't do those things with you. The thought of you with another girl ... I know it's unfair."

She laughed, but it was without any humor. "You know, that's why Allie calls you bubble boy."

I looked up, giving her a questioning look.

"You know me, I get jealous," she said. "Allie says I put you in a bubble."

So that's why ...

Maybe Jen saw a crack in my resolve. She said "I said terrible things. I didn't mean them. You know how crazy I get during sex."

"It not just what you said Jen," I said. The walls came back up. My heart was closed to her.

"I know," she said shamed faced, tears in her eyes. "I didn't make him use a condom. I swear it was the only time. It was the last time I was gonna be with him. I guess ..." She looked even more ashamed. "I wanted to experience it that way with him once. I'm a slut, you know?" Another self-deprecating laugh. "I was going to tell you. I knew you'd be mad. But I thought since it was the last time ..." She stopped seeing the anger and glare in my eyes.

"I'm sorry, it was wrong," she said regretfully. "I thought, maybe ... I thought it might even excite you."

"Excite me?" I snapped.

"You remember?" she said pleadingly. "Your fantasy about another man getting me pregnant."

"That's a fantasy!" I hissed.

"You know I'm on the pill!" she cried. "I was playing the game!"

We paused, a break from the turmoil. Retreating to our corners. 

I shook my head. It didn't make sense. "If you were breaking it off with him, why'd you get a tattoo for him?" I asked bitterly.

"It wasn't for him!"

"He picked it!" I snapped back.

"He was just there!"

"He was just there?" I said incredulously. "That's your excuse? Really Jen?"

"It was stupid," she admitted scrunching up her face at the memory. "I've talked about getting one. I thought I'd get it and see what you thought. I was drunk, I know, it was really stupid."

"Ya think?" I said sarcastically, my anger boiling. "Permanently marking your body and not talking to me about it first?"

"Permanently?" Jen said frowning. "Baby, it was a henna tattoo. It's already gone." 

Then she added "You don't believe me?" She got up and moved to me. With her back to me, she lifted her top a couple of inches. "See?" she said.

My eyes looked at her lower back. The tat was gone. My eyes focused on her perfect ass in the tight jeans. Delicate red lace of her thong peaked up over the low rise jeans.

She inched back so her firm ass touched my arm. "See, it's gone," she said looking at me over her shoulder.

"Yeah, it's gone," I agreed, my eyes still on her ass and the red lace, her tight ass pressing against my arm. I found it hard to breathe. 

But no. 

Not this time.

"No Jen," I said pulling my arm away. 

Panic flashed through her eyes. Her pretty face and sexy body had always gotten her out of trouble. Men couldn't resist her. I couldn't resist her. But not this time. She'd gone too far this time. 

She realized how upset I was, realized how serious this was, realized her beauty wasn't enough this time. She sank back into the chair, the seriousness of the situation sinking in. She hugged her legs to her chest like a little girl, looking scared.

"Are you leaving me then?" she asked sounding small and frightened and insecure, like a little girl asking her father if he was going away forever. 

I knew there was history between Jen and her father, how he'd let her down, how a lot of guys in her life had let her down. You think of a pretty bubbly girl like Jen as having the best family, the best childhood, the best boyfriends ... but it wasn't always like that.

"I don't blame you," she said looking down. "I'm terrible." She wiped a tear from her cheek. She pressed her palms against her eyes, in frustration. "I don't know why I do what I do, why I can't control myself," she said the last part coming out like a sob, like a plea for help. She laughed belittling herself. "You know my mom thinks I'm a fuck up. I guess she's right."

I wanted to hug her, kiss her, comfort her, assure her she was anything but a fuck up, that she was the most wonderful precious thing in the world. But not this time. I couldn't. I willed myself to keep my heart closed to her. "I better be going," I said motioning to get up.

"I messed up with Calvin too. I should have stood up for him," she said looking at me. "The way you did for your team."

"You were project lead, you can't do everything," I insisted.

"He was my friend," she said, more tears coming down. "I let him down ... just like I let you down."

We were both silent for long moments. Had she really let me down? Hadn't she done exactly what I wanted her to do, what I'd asked her to do? Didn't I lose control as much as her, in my own way? Had she really done anything behind my back?

There was something sticking into my leg. Then I remembered the picture. I took it out of my pocket and put it on the table. 

She smiled seeing it. "Remember, I promised you a better birthday next year," she joked, her eyes and cheeks wet with tears.

I forced a smile. "I might need a rain check."

"Yeah ...," she said looking down, both of us uncertain about tomorrow much less next year.

I pressed the button. The frame was almost out of batteries. The opening chords of Thunder Road played before it went silent.

Jen wiped away a tear and gave me a crooked smile. "You said you listed to Thunder Road a 100 times?" she asked. "Did you like it?"

"Yeah," I said with a smile. "Especially the beginning where Mary dances across the porch." I thought of Jen as Mary.

She smiled nodding. "He's a great poet."

"Yeah," I agreed. I didn't worship Springsteen like Jen, but I liked him a lot. 

I pressed the button again. The battery had a little life left. Jen's beautiful voice came through the frame: "Don't turn away again, I can't face life without you again".

It was too much. I couldn't help it. My eyes watered and tears fell down my cheeks.

Jen cried again too. Suddenly she threw herself into my arms. She hugged me hard, her head buried in my neck. I felt her tears on my skin. She wept uncontrollably. 

"Are you really going to leave me all alone Mike?" she sobbed.

No ... despite everything, I couldn't ...

I wouldn't leave her all alone.

~~ Epilogue One ~~

A few days later Jen and I were sitting on the sofa. We were still mending, but I was starting to think we'd make it.

I felt something in my coat pocket. Reaching in I pulled out the green and blue envelopes. We'd forgotten about them. I chuckled inside. I couldn't help thinking of that scene from the Matrix.

I opened the green envelope, the one about Sapphire. I suspected what would be in it, and I was right. A check. The amount surprised me though. "Wow, that's a lot of zeros," Jen said her eyes wide. I nodded just as surprised.

Then I opened the blue envelope. I had no idea what might be in that one. 

Jen and I read it together, both of us shocked. It was an offer from the firm to become a full partner.

~~ Epilogue Two ~~

(About six years ago at Penn State)

Allie bopped into Jen's room in the sorority. "Why aren't you dressed bitch?!" Allie jeered. "The party's started."

"I might not go," Jen said shrugging. It was their sorority's big mixer of the semester. 

Allie knew her friend too well. "Colin call you again?"

Jen nodded.

"That asshole!" Allie hissed. "Why can't he leave you alone? I hope you told him to go to hell!"

Allie saw the shamed look on her friend's face. "Oh my god Jenny, you didn't fuck him did you?" Allie knew the answer by Jen's silence. "Jenny! He's using you!"

"I know," Jen said pressing her palms into her eyes, distraught. Tears came to her eyes. "What's wrong with me Allie, I can't control myself! I mean, I don't even like Colin anymore!"

"It's not your fault honey," Allie said hugging her friend. "Colin's a hunk. Any girl would go ga-ga over him," She laughed. "You know me, my goal is to kiss every boy on campus. But Jenny honey, Colin isn't good for you."

"The story of my life," Jen said with a self-deprecating laugh.

"Yeah," Allie said with a commiserating laugh back, knowing her friend's history. She pulled Jen up. "Come on, you'll feel better after a few beers."

"I'm not dressed, I don't have any makeup on," Jen protested.

Allie laughed. "Believe me honey, you don't need it."

Jen shrugged. "You go, I'll be there in a little while," she promised. 

After Allie left Jen collapsed back on the bed. Her life was going nowhere. Why couldn't she control herself? Why was she so attracted to the Colins of the world? Why couldn't she resist them even though she knew they weren't good for her? There just didn't seem to be any hope for her. No hope.

Not knowing what else to do, she got up and wiped the tears from her face. She put on a little lipstick but otherwise didn't change out of her loose blouse, jeans and flats. She went downstairs to the party.




All In My Head Ch. 07



"What's up Jenny girl?" Antonio said eying Jen up and down. "You're looking hot."

"Thanks," Jen said, sipping her beer and looking the other way. Antonio was gorgeous and normally she'd flirt with him, but she didn't feel like it tonight. Where had Allie gone? The least she could do is run interference.

Antonio put his hand on Jen's back, running his hand from her bra strap to just above her ass. "Heard you and Colin broke up," he said looking down her blouse. "Wanna go out sometime?"

"Um ... I'm kinda working on my grades this semester," Jen said. 

"Yeah right," Antonio smirked. "The party girl, working on her grades." He laughed at the idea.

"Where'd you go?" Jen snapped later at Allie.

"Saw you talking to Tony-Tony," Allie grinned lecherously. "You bitch, you know I'm hot for him."

"Take him then," Jen said dismissively.

"Come on Jenny, go fuck him," Allie urged her. "It'll get Colin out of your system."

The idea of sex with Antonio was tempting. Tony-Tony – their nickname for him – was gorgeous and had an incredible body. And rumors said he sported twice the normal package, hence his nickname. But ...

"He's just another Colin," Jen said dismissing the idea. She'd already had too many Colins in her life.

Later, Jen was heading back to her room when a guy she didn't know approached her. 

"Beer?" Mike asked nervously. He'd been waiting for over an hour for a chance to talk to her.

"Already got one," she said holding up the red Solo cup.

"Oh," he said. He looked uncertain, like he didn't know what to say next. Finally he blurted out, "Don't you think Emerson and Thoreau at some point became conformists by both being so non-conformist?"

"I guess so," Jen said with a shrug. "Do you always talk about French literature at parties?"

"Uh ... well ..." Mike stammered, red faced.

Just then Allie appeared. "Where have you been?" Allie said to Jen, pulling her away.

Across the room Allie whispered into Jen's ear, "Why are you talking to that geek?"

"Who is he?" Jen said.

"Mike something, he's the TA in my math class," Allie said dismissively.

Jen looked back. She smiled seeing Mike muttering as if chastising himself for not having a better pick up line. "He's sorta cute," she said.

Allie looked at him as if for the first time. "I guess he's kinda hot, in a geeky sorta way. I'd do him."

"Jeez Allie do you have to screw every guy on campus?!" Jen snapped.

Allie gave Jen a WTF look. "Whatever, fine, he'll be your bubble boy." Earlier that week in their sophomore film class they'd watched "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" about a boy no one was allowed to touch. 

Mike already forgotten, Allie tugged Jen's arm. "Tony-Tony and I are going to the Crypts. Come with us. Victor's going too, it'll be a double date." Victor was Antonio's buddy and was just as good looking. But he was another Colin too.

Jen shook her head. "I think I'll hang here."

Jen wanted to go upstairs to bed but she kept getting stuck talking to people. From time to time she glanced over at Mike. He was hanging out drinking a beer, mostly by himself. He kept looking at a painting on the wall. She kinda felt sorry for him, but not enough to go over and talk to him.

At one point Maureen joined the group she was with. "You're a math major right?" Jen asked Maureen. She motioned towards Mike. "Do you know him?"

"What's he doing here?" Maureen asked surprised. "That's Mike Andrews, I've never seen him out of the math lab. He's really smart, he just won the Barnes award."

"What's that?" Jen asked.

"It's like the Nobel prize for college students."

"Oh, wow," Jen said impressed.

Jen got stuck talking to Tony-Tony and Victor. They were talking non-stop about the club football game they played that afternoon. She tried to look interested, but really she just wanted to go to bed. 

Then they tried talking her into going to the Crypts, a local bar just outside campus. Jen shook her head. "I'm not feeling it tonight," she said.

She made her way to the stairs, to go to her room. She had to pass Mike on the way. "Why do you keep looking at that picture?" she asked.

Mike looked startled at seeing her. "Uh, well, it's kinda interesting." He pointed to the painting, a work of abstract art. "This is an arithmetic progression." Then he pointed to another place. "It switches to a geometric progression here. Do you know who did it? It'd look cool in my office."

Then Mike realized he'd drifted into geeksville. He expected Jen to look bored or smirk at him for being such a geek, but to his surprise she smiled and laughed. "You can have it. I didn't know I was putting that stuff into it."

Mike's eyes widened. "You painted this? I thought you were a marketing major."

"How do you know my major?"

"Oh um – I think someone mentioned it," Mike stammered. He obviously couldn't reveal he'd hacked into the Penn State computer while stalking her.

Jen shrugged. "I did it in freshman art," she said. She looked at her painting. "I don't think it has all that math stuff in it though, I'm lousy at math, I have to work hard just to get Cs."

Mike looked at the painting again. "You must be really smart. I think you have a natural talent for math," he said honestly.

Jen couldn't help smiling at the compliment. No one ever said she was smart. Was this guy for real? French literature and now math? That's how he hits on a girl?

"I heard you won a big math award?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," Mike said embarrassed. "It was no big deal."

"No big deal huh?" Jen said eyeing him. Tony-Tony and Victor would brag forever about intramural football, and this boy was too modest to talk about winning the freaking Nobel prize?

"You know, I could help you with your math class," Mike offered, stammering out the offer.

Jen titled her head. "Maybe ..." she said. 

Mike decided it was now or never. Summoning all his courage he asked "I've got tickets for the Springsteen concert, would you like to go with me?"

"You've got tickets for Bruce?" she said amazed. She'd been trying to get tickets – everyone had been trying to get tickets – for months!

"Well – yeah," Mike said. It hadn't been easy to get them. He'd had to work double shifts at the record store and drive to Philly to buy them from a ticket scalper.

"I'm definitely in!" Jen said excitedly. Allie would be soooooo jelly. She tilted her head at Mike. "You don't even know my name."

"Sure I do Jen," Mike said. "I'm Mike."

Jen smiled. She liked that. "Jen." More grown up than Jenny. 

"What's your favorite Bruce song?" she asked. If he was taking her to the concert the least she could do is talk to him for a little while. She expected him to say "Dancing in the Dark" or "Born to Run," most people did.

Mike was tempted to say Thunder Road. After all, he knew that was her favorite. He'd listened to every Springsteen song by that point, and honesty said "I think Sandy."

"Really?" Jen asked surprised. That song was one of her favorites, but no one ever said Sandy. Intrigued, she said "Why?"

"My family used to go to the Jersey shore," Mike explained. "Bruce sings about a fortune teller there –."

"Madame Marie," Jen said.

"Yeah," Mike said. "She's real life you know. I've talked to her."

"Me too!" Jen said excitedly. But then she saw the melancholy on Mike's face. "What happened?"

Mike got choked up remembering. "Sorry," he said.

"No that's okay," Jen said. "Tell me."

This was something Mike definitely hadn't wanted to get into. A real buzz kill. But he had no choice now. "When I was younger my older brother got really sick. Cancer. So we went to the shore because he liked the ocean. It's okay, he got better."

"Oh that's good!" Jen said squeezing Mike's arm.

"I got a fortune from Madame Marie. We talked for a long time. It sounds crazy, but I've always felt that was part of why Aaron got better."

Jen smiled. "I'm surprised a math major believes in fortune telling and mystical stuff like that," she teased.

Mike shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "I guess everyone needs hope," he said.

Jen stared into his face, startled by his words. "Yeah ...," she agreed in a soft uncertain voice.

Who was this guy? She'd agreed to go to the concert because she wanted to see the Boss, not because she was interested in him. But now ...

From across the room, Allie, Tony-Tony and Victor looked at Jen talking to the math geek. "Let's save Jenny from that geek," Victor said.

"Yeah, come on," Tony-Tony said.

Allie watched her best friend talking to the math major. "Hold it guys," she said grabbing their arms. "Give her some space, okay?" She inwardly shrugged. Who knew, maybe it was true opposites attract.

Jen and Mike talked and laughed a long time, way past when the party ended. They were surprised when they saw the first rays of the sun, that's how long they'd talked. They went outside and sat on the porch, carrying a blanket because it was chilly. Mike put the blanket around them. 

As the sun rose, Mike gathered all his courage and put his arm around Jen, the prettiest and most popular girl on campus. 

Jen welcomed his arm, and leaned into him. His arm felt really good. It felt right.

~~ The End ~~

(Mike and Jen's story continues in "Making It Work")