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A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 01

By: likegoodwine



I would like to thank Kirk2004 for his help editing this first part of the story. Of course, all that is only fiction although I inspired myself from a friend's experience and took a lot of liberties with it. All the sex scenes are with normal people and contain no acrobatics, I know because I rehearsed them all ;-)

Part 1 – Down the drain

My cock was sliding in and out of her pussy. I was sitting on my couch and this gorgeous creature was straddling me, her marvelous boobs available for my hungry lips. Her fucking was getting more furious by the second. She was determined to make me come hard. I had a difficult time keeping my lips on the best boobs money can buy. My hands had to stop caressing this wonderful tanned young body, and I had to grab her breasts to settle them down.

But something was wrong. Here I was with a young woman at least 30 years my junior. An eager young woman whose sole purpose this afternoon was to offer her body completely, to let me play out my whims (any of them) and make me come however I wished.

Her fucking got desperate. Her hips were going up and down at a furious pace. 

"I'm about to come, honey!" I said. 

In one swift movement, she got off me, got on her knees on the ground between my legs, removed the condom, and started to jack me off. In a matter of seconds, I started to shoot my cum. She was directing my cock towards her face, her mouth open to try to catch some of it. The first shot of cum went straight to her face, some directly in her mouth, but most on her nose, forehead and bangs. She lowered my cock and the second shot went on her torso. She then took my cock in her mouth and started to suck me dry until I stopped shooting and my cock got limp.

Hi, my name is Kieran O'Malley. I am 52 years old, divorced for the last 5 years, and my balls now feel like my life and my soul, totally empty.

I had to drive the escort back to town, but soon, as usual, it would be time to reminisce upon the empty and sad state of my life. Again!

*** 

It all started about 5 years ago at the peak of the best years of my life. I was forty-seven years old, a little over 6 feet tall, dark brown hair (with an increasing amount of gray hair and completely white sideburns), and a fit body with maybe 15 lbs to lose. I was married to one of the most beautiful women I'd ever met, Eileen, who was four years my junior. She is five feet six inches tall, with red hair, green eyes and as fit as me. We shared the same sport activities that ranged from rock climbing to volleyball, from swimming to cross-country biking. We were married for 22 years and had two splendid children, Mary, who was sixteen years old and Mark, who was eighteen years old and just starting his first year of college out of state. We were the perfect married couple.

I was working as a technical assistant (IT) to the vice-president of operation in a manufacturing company. I started as mechanical engineer fresh out of University, and then started to rise up the corporate ladder. My wife was head nurse at a local hospital. 

We were both making very good salaries. Over the years, we had planned and saved for our retirement. Our plan was for me to retire at 50 and Eileen at 46. We had enough investments to make it works and to live a comfortable life. 

All of our plans focused on a piece of property I acquired from my parents' estate upon their passing. It was a small five acre lot fronting a small lake, a 60 minute drive from town. The only building on the land was an old cabin built in the 50's. I called it rustic. There was no electricity and I supplied the running water. I would get water from an old well and run back to the cottage with it. Eileen called it a mouse dream house in view of all the field mice that elected to share the cabin with us. It was in such bad shape that even my enthusiastic attempts at repairs were unsuccessful and we decided to eventually tear the cabin down and rebuild to suit our needs.

That weekend, our daughter was away with some friends. We had the house to ourselves and we were on an open schedule. Our Saturday morning was spent mostly on house chores. After lunch, I suggested that we make some definite plans for our dream retirement home. We already had a surveyor report so we knew what was possible and what wasn't. We had already narrowed down our favorites cottages to four different plans. That afternoon we started by choosing one and went from there. 

We finally settled on a Canadian style cottage with a lot of windows fronting the lake and a huge deck which was partly covered. 

Eileen was an amateur painter, so in addition to the cottage we decided to have a 3 car garage with a workshop on the second floor with plenty of light so she could transform it into a studio. I would use part of the first floor for my own little workshop, knowing that with country life come many little manual chores and repairs.

Mid-way through that planning session, sitting side by side in front of the computer, Eileen started to be affectionate. At the beginning, it was only her breasts brushing on my arm or my shoulder when pointing at something on the screen. At one point, she put her hand on my thigh and left it there, stroking me gently. Over the years, Eileen and I had been very open about the way we wanted our sex life and how to express our desire for each other. Most of the time it was as simple as asking, "Ready for a little one on one action, baby?" Other times sex came out of nowhere, without a word, a gentle touch here that led to a little body contact and then kisses and caresses. We really tried to be aware at all time of each other's moods and act accordingly. 

Knowing Eileen, I knew she was in a loving mood at the moment and that she needed to express her love the best way a couple can, by making love. Even while trying to discuss the floor plan of her studio, my knowledge of what was to come had me getting an erection. Eileen noticed that fact quickly enough. Her hand on my thigh slowly moved to my crotch, 

"Oh my! What have we got here? Thinking about all the young models that will come to pose nude for your favorite painter?" 

Turning toward Eileen, I put my hand behind her head and drew her closer. 

"No!" I kissed her nose. "I am thinking of all the time we will have to ourselves to make love in our new home".

We shared a long gentle kiss with our tongues prodding each other's mouth. 

"I don't need a young model to get me hard. You alone and forever is all I need... but the pretty young model can stay and watch though" I said breaking off the kiss for a second.

With a backhand she gently swatted me on the shoulder at that quip.

We resumed kissing with our passion building up. Still in our chair, the tops of our body were glued to each other. Her hand was stroking my cock through my pants. I was caressing her back with my left hand while I tried to get my right hand between us. Without breaking the kiss, I started to get up and she followed my lead. My hand now had access to her still delectable firm breasts. 

"I love you!" I simply said, losing myself in her breathtaking light green eyes. 

"I love you too" she answered, holding me by the hand and starting to walk toward the bedroom. "But I want proof right this moment". She dragged me willingly behind her husband behind her with a mischievous look in her eyes.

Kissing and caressing, we made our way toward the bedroom. I turned her around, moved her shoulder length red hair off to the side and started to kiss her at the nap of her neck. My hands found their way inside her blouse. Kissing her neck and shoulders softly, my hands were caressing her breasts through her bra, cupping and massaging them lightly. Her light moans showed me that she enjoyed both the kisses and the caresses.

Without stopping to kiss her, I began to unbutton her blouse and soon had it sliding off her shoulders and on to the floor. I undid the clasp of her bra and removed it too. My hands now had free access to her delicious C size tits with their small hard little nipples. 

Eileen was pressing her butt on my now very hard cock. My hands leisurely went from her breast, along her torso, her belly and found their way inside her sweat pants. After a brief excursion toward her already wet pussy, I moved mu hand back up to her waistband. Unhurriedly, I started to pull her pants down, my lips kissing their way down her back and then her buttocks. She stepped out of her clothes and then turned around to face me. If there is one sight in the whole world that I believe is a glimpse into heaven, it's my wife's little belly, her nice curvy hips and her neatly trimmed pussy which was only a few inches from my nose and mouth.

My tongue darted, tasting and teasing her belly button. Then I began kissing lower, licking lightly her cesarean scar and following it down toward her small strip of pubic hair, my nose taking the full scent of her arousal. 

"Sit down honey, let me love you" I said, looking up at her. I didn't have to repeat that twice. She sat on the edge of the bed, spread her legs and rested her weight on her hands on the bed offering herself to my unconditional attraction to her pussy.

I began with a few short kisses on her light tuff of hair, down to her labia, and then my tongue got its first taste of her woman juice. My hands had found their way back to her nice full breasts and their hard pink nipples. Eileen moaned at the first contact of my tongue on her lips. With one slow movement, my tongue licked her from her joy hole up along her lips and paying a special attention to her clit. At that contact, she moaned again, her thighs closing up to loosely trap my head. I repeated the slow movement up and down a few times, more pleasure groans escaping my wife.

"Oh, yes, love me, Kieran". 

My lips finally settled on her clit, and I felt a slight shudder going through Eileen's body. I lightly licked her clit and began to suck it as it was getting bigger and firmer.

"Mm, Ohhh yes, Kieran!" 

Looking up I saw Eileen looking down at me lovingly with a shroud of sexual excitement in her eyes. Her favorite sight, she acknowledged many times over our years of marriage, was myself bent on pleasuring her orally.

Eileen suddenly let her upper body fall to the bed, her thighs closing further, and her hands coming to hold my own hands firmly on her breasts. My right hand came down from her breast and I started to caress her vagina lips while still sucking on her clit. As soon as I inserted two fingers in her pussy hole, Eileen let out a groan and I felt her whole body start to convulse, enraptured as she was in her first climax. Her vagina was clamping down my fingers still going in and out of her pussy.

I relieved the pressure on her clit, gently licking instead of sucking it. I wanted more of the same later, and I didn't want to overexcite her. I stopped licking and removed my fingers from her pussy. Now both hands were caressing her belly, her hips and her thighs. Her legs parted a bit, allowing me some movement. I started again to lick her. My tongue darted and went in her pussy hole, my lips and nose gently caressing her lips. Licking up her lips, my fingers found back their rightful place inside her, first one finger going in and out then two, then three. I returned my attention to her clitoris while my fingers were stimulating her G spot.

Her second orgasm was stronger, cum gushing from her vagina while her thighs and hands were keeping my head right on her pussy. Her climatic convulsions finally stopped before choking me to death. Thank God for small favors.

I felt her fingers grip my hair.

"Love, come up here for a breather. It's my turn to show you how much I love you" she said while pulling me up. 

On the way up, I stopped when our heads were level to each other and before I had a chance to kiss her, she began to lick her juice off my face. Our lips finally met and we kissed like there was no tomorrow, our tongues fighting for space and dominance. 

She finally broke the embrace and almost lifted me up on my feet in order to have me stand up in front of her. My cock was totally erect pointing towards the ceiling, its head red and sensitive. Eileen grabbed my cock and put her lips around the head, her tongue licking it and her mouth sucking eagerly. She then started to lick along my cock, spent a few seconds licking and sucking my balls while stroking the shaft. I love to look at Eileen going down on me, but the feeling was so intense that I closed my eyes, letting the sensation invade my whole self, my mind centered on a skilled mouth pleasuring my very sensitive cock. She kissed her way back to the top of my cock. She ran her tongue around the rim then she started to suck me in earnest. In one long movement of her head, she deep-throated me all the way. I could feel her gagging on my cock but she didn't give up. 

I was close to cuming but had something else in mind. 

"I want to cum in you. I want to fuck you, my love."

She stopped sucking me and began to crawl backward on the bed. Slightly up on her elbows, her legs spread and inviting, Eileen smiled peevishly at me. She spread her legs even more.

"That's what you want? Come and take it, Tiger."

Her words and the sight of her juicy pussy awaiting me was enough of an invitation. I climbed on top of her and in one swift movement I had my cock at the door, no trouble aligning myself, and I pushed all the way in, eliciting a groan from Eileen. Her pussy was hot, wet and slippery, a cozy cocoon where I felt at home. I pulled out a little and pushed back in. She let another moan and half closed her eyes. She was so beautiful when enjoying a nice fucking. 

"You look so good honey! You're so beautiful when you make love and I love you so much" I said.

She raised herself a bit and kissed me.

"It feels so good to have you in me. I love you too!"

We made love missionary style for some time. 

"I want to be on top, honey," she finally said. 

Still inside her pussy, we rolled around and Eileen took control of our lovemaking pace. She started by moving up and down then sideways. My hands on her hips made their way up to her gorgeous breasts, caressing them and pulling her hard nipples. Eileen put her hands on my chest for better support and then started to speed up the tempo. My cock was going in and out at such speed now that I feared for a bit that I would slip all the way out. Sweat forming on her forehead, Eileen didn't relent and continued pounding my cock. I was very close to coming. 

Fortunately, Eileen came first.

"Aargh! I'm coming! Yeesss!" She let herself fall on my chest, her body shivering from her orgasm. I could feel her pussy clenching my cock. 

After a few seconds, she calmed down and looked at m., "Not there yet sweetheart?"

"I'm close but I want to fuck you doggy style"

"Whatever you want," she said, and then she rolled off of me and positioned herself on her hands and knees. "Come and get it!"

I got behind her. My cock was asking me to get right down to business, but her ass was so inviting that I had to bury my face in it. I kissed her buttocks while my hands reached under her to grab her breasts. I then started to lick her pussy from behind, tasting her juice mixed with some of my precum. My tongue ventured deep in her pussy and then went further up to her anus. Her groan was enough for me. I teased her anus with my tongue and went in a little bit. Kissing her buttocks again, I got up, put my cock near her pussy and then went straight in, savoring the slippery feel of her pussy. Then I started to fuck her fast and hard.

"Yeah baby, fuck me hard!" she said between moans. She was responding by pushing her ass back as hard as my own strokes.

Being so close to my own orgasm, I was pounding her pussy as fast and as hard as I could. She let herself go down on her shoulders and then started to rub her clit. I knew she would come fast so I tried desperately to hold out, delaying my own orgasm.

She came first and hard. Her whole body was shaking, her hips jerking up and down, and then I came too, my cum filling her pussy, load after load, my hips pressed hard on her bum. Still inside her, now standing still, my hands started to roam over her back and then toward her hanging breasts.

I pulled my now partly deflated cock from her pussy, looking at my cum dripping from my wife's pussy, sliding along her thighs. I bent down and started to lick her clean, swallowing some and keeping most of it in my mouth. I moved alongside her and she turned to face me. We shared my cum in one long hungry kiss.

After a lot more kissing and expression of love, we settled down together in bed, Eileen spooning me and caressing me.

"You know what, honey?"

"Euh... what? No!" I was dozing off.

"Well, for the first time I feel 100% right with in our retirement project."

That woke me up. I turned around to face her in the bed. 

"What?"

She pressed her whole voluptuous body against mine, her leg going over my thigh. 

"It's real nice..., no marvelous what we are trying to do. It's just that... that since we started to speak about retirement, it made me feel so old. I don't know... retirement is for old people... Kind of..."

I was at lost for words for a moment. I thought I was really attuned to her moods and feelings and then bang, out of nowhere she tells me that our plans to retire young made her ill at ease! Made her feel old!

"I'm a bit surprised, honey. You never said anything. During our whole marriage we had been planning for this. We planned for our first house which is fully paid for now. We planned for the kids' future and education. We planned all our vacations, even our free spirit adventures without a destination. And now that we are planning to stop working and enjoy life while we are still young, you don't like it?"

She was stroking my hair and my neck and she gave me a kiss. 

"Don't get worked up, Tiger. I only mean that each time we spoke about retirement it made me feel old. That's a weird and stupid feeling, I know. But that's the way I felt. I was panicking a bit, thinking that I was getting that old, you know, retiring in a few years. " She gave me a brief French kiss. "But today, for the first time in two years, it feels right, perfectly right!"

"Two years!" I thought. "Oh my God. How could I misread her so badly?"

The next French kiss she gave me lasted a bit longer. She sensed my tightness. 

"Everything is fine, baby, don't worry about this silliness, because that's all there was to it. I can see that clearly now. Just to envision us together in my studio with no worries in the world, totally free to do as we please without a damned schedule. It's not getting old, it's getting free."

She kissed me again, her hands all over my body, relieving a bit of the tension that built up in me over the past few minutes. Mischievously looking at me, she said, "Even the pretty young model looking at us making love doesn't bother me, not the way it got you real hard."

She kissed me again and I even responded eagerly. 

Breaking the kiss, "I love you, sugar. You should have told me before, though. The way you felt, I mean. You are my world. With the kids, there's nothing important enough to get in the way of that. I don't understand why you didn't share these feelings with me. We could..."

She cut me off with another kiss, that one desperate and with such vigor that she rolled me on my back and took position on top of me. 

"Shhh! You're right." 

She was rubbing her pussy against my flaccid cock. 

"You don't know how much I wish I had opened up to you, shared my worries instead of keeping it tor myself. Sorry, I'll make it up to you."

She wasn't looking into my eyes, but at the wall as if looking at a far-away universe where I felt excluded.


A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 01



"Yeah, I'll make it up to you." 

On these cryptic words, she went down on me, trying to revive something that should be handled by St. Jude, the patron of desperate causes.

***

The rest of the weekend was spent in a series of lovemaking sessions, sometimes tender but often frantic. Well, the frantic ones were more simply down to business fucking and Eileen led the charge. Thanks to the little pills ordered by our family physician, I was able to perform like a young man, almost...

On Monday at lunch, I started to make a few inquiries with contractors now that we had more specific details about our dream country estate. One contractor that was recommended by a colleague, who had worked with him before, agreed to talk about it. He took a few days to look at the proposed plan and helped me to understand everything that had to be done. He didn't mind answering my uneducated questions. He didn't even mind working with me despite the fact that the construction would not start for another three years. 

On Thursday, we had lunch together. He was somewhat younger than me in his late 30's or early 40's. We did connect right away. It took him only a few minutes to present his schedule for the different tasks needed to go from an old cabin to a brand new cottage. 

"How soon do you want the old cabin demolished?" he asked.

"The sooner the better. My wife doesn't even want to go there anymore with the mice infestation."

He proposed to do it in the next few weeks at a very fair price. I told him that I would consult with my wife and give him a definite answer very soon.

I was excited by the way things were shaping up. I wanted to surprise Eileen and made a reservation at a very nice restaurant that catered to many young professionals (so my secretary Tammy said). Hey, I don't need to be told twice that the subject might make Eileen feels old so the setting would be perfect.

Eileen's work schedule was from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM. So I decided to leave work early to pick her up. On the way to the hospital, I realized that I might be a bit late due to the traffic. I phoned her cell but got no answer. Shortly after 4:00, only a few blocks away from the hospital, my phone rang. Eileen's cell phone number was on display. Seeing a free spot at the curb near an intersection, I pulled in and answered the call. 

"Hi honey! What are your plans in the next few hours?" I asked.

"Work, work, and more work. Somebody called in sick, and I have to stay a couple of hours till a replacement arrives."

Damn! I thought. Maybe I can reschedule the reservation for later.

At that very moment, the light turned red for the traffic going south on the next street. A grey Mercedes stopped. I looked at the woman sitting by the driver. She was on the phone. I could only see her profile, but I could swear that the passenger was my red-haired wife. Weird!

"You at work?" I asked.

Less than 50 feet away I could see the woman talking. 

"Yeah! Stuck here for a while."

Even from the side, I knew now that it was Eileen. It's like a heavy weight has been pressed to my chest. A terrible feeling hit me and a wave of heat went through me.

"You there honey?"

"Yes!" I was able finally to get out.

"Oh! I thought for a second that the call was dropped."

Their light turned green and the Mercedes started to move. Hurriedly, I cut back into the traffic, earning a loud horn from a driver I cut off unceremoniously. Unable to talk while chasing the Mercedes, I said "I'll talk to you later then," and I hung up.

I turned on the street and could still see the Mercedes moving along, about six cars ahead of me. Thanks to synchronized traffic lights, even if I had to stop at a red light, their car also had to stop ahead.

My mind was in turmoil. What was happening? A sinking feeling hit me. Eileen was lying to me! I was not inclined to be paranoiac. I didn't see conspiracies around every corner of my life. Why would she lie to me? Nothing in our own social and professional circles could warrant that. Going out with colleagues, a late meeting, a girls or guys' night out, we always told each other everything. Was my mind playing tricks on me?

For a few minutes both cars traveled due south. We were heading toward the outskirts of town, Motel Town we used to call it because of the many motels and hotels that serviced the travelers coming into town. That's also where the traffic lights stopped playing in my favor. My light stayed red while theirs turned green. I quickly lost sight of them.

Still driving aimlessly in Motel Town, I was unable to kid myself. The only reason Eileen would lie to me was if she felt guilty about something, and the only thing that made sense was that she was cheating on me. Did I really want to know? You bet I wanted to know. There were about 20 motels and hotels in that area, and I had to check them all. What for? Well, I would play it by ear. I decided to systematically inspect the parking lots of the motels. A total wreck inside, I almost made it complete when turning right at a red light to start my search. A driver with good reflex avoided me at the last second.

I had a hard time concentrating, but I mapped the entire area in my mind and started my search. Driving slowly, I watched every parking space. After an hour, at the last motel, no luck! I started to breathe easier until I realized that some of these motels had parking spaces behind their building, so I resumed my search. Twenty minutes later, I hit pay dirt. There, hidden at the back of a cheap motel, I recognized the grey Mercedes. 

I parked right behind it. I was shaking all over. My mind was running at full speed. What should I do? What could I do? A disturbing thought crept into my mind - your life is over! Morbid curiosity, seething anger, terrible sadness were fighting to take control of me. As a result, I was simply sitting still in my car, unable for the first time in years to have a coherent thought.

I finally stepped out of the car and walked toward the Mercedes. I looked at the row of doors of the motel, 20 in total divided on two floors, and realized that I had no way of knowing which room they were in. In a daze, I knew also that I didn't really want to find out. What could I do? I am not a violent man, so barging in a room to avenge myself was out of the question. Anyway, doing so would put me in contact with Eileen too. Despite all the rage that built up in me in the last minutes, there was no chance that I could do violence to her. And I sure didn't want to look at her, ever! Her lies were hurting me too profoundly.

Well I am not a violent man and couldn't think about hitting somebody except in self-defense. I looked at the brand new Mercedes (they all look brand new, mind you) and took a first kick at a side door, producing a dent. Gee, that felt good! I started to go around the car kicking it and making the most marvelous dents possible. One side mirror went down too. I was getting frantic. Instead of calming me down or diffusing my anger, I was getting worked up. 

I was simply livid and full of angst when I heard a door open and I looked up. A young man in his 30's appeared. His back was toward me and he was facing the inside of the room. Then a flash of red-hair told me all. You don't spend an hour and a half in a bedroom to play cards. All my rage was suddenly gone. Despair and a dreadful fate were facing me. I was trembling like a leaf on the winds of autumn, hanging for dear life to some sanity, but finding no purchase.

Eileen finally stepped out of the room. In a very familiar way, the guy gently grabbed her ass. Smiling, Eileen did her well-known backhand swat of his hand caressing her buttock. Instead, he grabbed her more closely to him and tried to kiss her. She feigned avoiding the kiss but doing so, she moved her head aside and looked down straight at me. Her smile froze. Her mouth made an O. 

While trying to disengage from her lover's embrace, she said "Kieran! No!" 

Unaware of what was happening, her young lover held on to her. Bad mistake! I have no doubt that in my state of mind I could have kicked the shit out of that boy but Eileen did it for me. She hit him square on the nose with her elbow, so hard that the blood started pissing right away (broken nose). Then she pushed him back toward the room and his head hit the corner of the door frame (concussion). Then she started to run, crying "No, no, no... Kieran!"

She had to run all the way the length of the motel before reaching the stairs. That gave me a few precious seconds to think of what to do next. Do I want explanations? No! What is there to explain. I cheated and lied to you. Do I want apologies? No! Is my world coming apart? Definitely yes! Do I want Eileen within reach of me? Not now, not ever!

Before she reached the bottom of the stairs, I was in my car, shaking badly. Like in a movie, my tires squealed when I got in reverse and when I surged toward the exit. A brief glimpse in the rearview mirror showed me a last view of my wife, yelling my name, running after the car. 

It was the end of my life the way I cherished it.



A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 02



Chapter 2 –A wall of anger is building up 

My perfect life was over. That was the essence of all my train of thoughts in the next few hours. Here I was, thinking that I was an exemplary husband, and I just found out that my wife was lying to me, cheating on me. So common an occurrence but so unlike what I expected from my own marriage. My cell rang but I didn't answer. It was Eileen. I turned it off.

I drove around in a haze, not knowing where to go. I started out of habit toward my home, but stopped. Did I have a home anymore? The anger had mostly left me and a great sadness overwhelmed me. The mist rising in my eyes, I finally had to park before causing a collision. I was totally and inexorably hurt to the core. And sad too! I started crying. 

I am not sure how long I was like that, but I had to decide what to do next. 

Going home was out. I didn't want to see Eileen. Not now! I didn't even know if I would ever want to see her again. All my good friends were also Eileen's friends and I didn't want to impose on them. I had to get out of my car and try to sort out my options.

Making a long detour, I drove back toward Motel Town. I did hesitate for a good 2 seconds before heading back toward the motel where I discovered the lie that was my life. I needed a room for at least the weekend. And as self-pity was replaced again by anger, I also wanted to worm out some information on the guy that was fucking my wife.

I knew deep down inside that it didn't matter. Race, cock size, sexual techniques and stamina wouldn't alter the simple fact that I've been lied to. 

I know that I could deal with Eileen with another man, the same way she could deal with me and another woman. Been there, done that! 

The lie was another matter. I had to know if the lie was an aberration, a lapse that could be worked out, or if I had lost Eileen. With that in mind, I entered the office.

It was easier than I thought. Checking me in, the reception clerk asked for my credit card and my driver's license. 

"You're from town, I see! Normally you guys check only for the night. The wife's away for the week-end?" he asked while giving me an unfriendly look. I had the impression he did not approve of cheaters.

I was more in a mood to bite his head off, but decided instead to play on what I perceived as an anti-cheating attitude. A little honesty might put me on his good side. Heck, I was willing to pay him hundreds for some information that I might be able to get free. 

"No, it's not that. I just don't want to go back home for a few days."

"Been kicked out? I see a lot of that too." It was more a statement than a question.

"Well not exactly, but with the same result." I said

"Well, I hope for your sake that the broad was worth it. To mess up your marriage, I mean. There you go!" He handed me a swipe key card for the room. He was about to dismiss me as a philanderer not worth his time any longer. It was time to play my cards and gain some sympathy. 

"To put the fact straight, I didn't cheat on my wife. I caught her cheating on me." 

"Bitch!" the clerk exclaimed.

"And there is not a chance that I will ever set foot in that house or talk to her."

"Sorry to hear that, man! I've been there myself and I know how it hurts. How did you find out?" 

He was a lot friendlier suddenly. That was a good sign.

"Well, I followed her to the motel were they were... meeting. As a matter of fact, I found them over an hour ago here in this same motel."

"Holy crap! 'scuse my language! You're the guy that kicked the shit off one of our customer earlier. He was a bloody mess when he checked out."

"Well, that's the guy that was fucking my wife." I didn't have to act. My voice was naturally breaking a little on that statement. A look of sympathy from the clerk was my reward.

"I can't say that I disapprove of the beating. He had it coming in my opinion. I hope he will crawl under the rock where he came from and don't press charges. I hate these doctors, the way they look at you all almighty." 

Oh, a first tidbit of information. 

"No worry there. I didn't touch him. He had a... an accident in the panic when I found them out... A doctor you said? What? Did he advertise his job or something?" I asked.

"Nothing like that. He's a regular here..." a contrite look pass on his face. "Shit, I didn't mean to say that. Sorry man! I paid attention because all his broads are quite good looking. Which one is yours?"

That guy was a mine of information all by himself. "The red-head woman."

"Wow! The best looking one, not looking like a bimbo or nothing. I preferred when she was doing the checking-in. Always nice, she was!"

My slim hope that it was a one-time slip by Eileen went down the drain in a hurry. I felt dizzy. The counter was not enough support for the way I sensed the whole room starting to spin on me. I went and sit on a chair. The clerk left his counter and came to me. 

"Sorry man! I talk too much. Are you alright?" he asked.

I didn't faint but it was close.

His empathy was such that I didn't have to coax him very hard to get his help. Within an hour, I had copies of the reservation book, going back 18 months. 18 months of lies for crying out loud! I had been a cuckold for 18 months as far as me and the clerk could surmise. On top of that, I received a DVD copy of the security camera earlier today where we could see clearly Eileen in the Mercedes parked in front of the door of the reception while her lover was checking in.

Taking my stuff with me, I was in a mood for a stiff drink. I drove to a nearby liquor store, bought a bottle of whiskey and went back to my room. Just to rub salt on the wound, I was only few doors down from where they had been fucking. Anything to lift a guy's spirit up!

The next hour decided my plan of action that was quite simple after all. Getting a divorce and going on with my life. With proof of her cheating, I had good cause and shouldn't suffer any monetary setback. 

Of course, I had to think about the kids. Mark was away at college. He was a very bright independent young man. Eileen and me had the means to support him through college, and I was pretty sure that he would take the divorce in stride.

Mary was another matter. Daddy's girl might take it very hard. Thinking about her made me settled down quite a bit. It didn't relieve the sadness or the anger that pervaded me. It did help to cool me down a tad. No betrayal scene between Eileen and me. No messy divorce. I will cut the abscess right away. The faster, the better! 

I thought I knew her. I thought that her mind was an open book to me. And she had been lying to me for almost 2 years without me being the wiser. I knew then that I would be unable to trust her ever again and a big part of our whole relationship was based on trust.

So tomorrow I would contact my lawyer to draw the divorce papers and have it serve. I wouldn't fight if Eileen wanted the custody of Mary, although I would prefer to keep my girl with me. There's one thing that I was quite adamant about. I didn't want to see or talk to my soon to be ex. Absolutely no contact! Everything would be settled between lawyers.

As the time passed and the whiskey started to hit me, I started to reminisce about Eileen and me. 

***

We met during a students' party at the university. I was 24 and she was 20. For me, it was university - take 2. I graduated 2 years earlier with a degree in mechanical engineering. With the CAD-CAM processes so important at the company where I worked, it became quickly obvious that I needed more knowledge in computer programming. My basic understanding of computer was barely enough to follow the computer programmers that we dealt with on a daily basis. I then took many evening classes in computer studies but it was taking a toll on my social life and it was tiring. So I asked and got a leave of absence to further my education in computer programming for a semester. As a result, at 24, I was feeling a bit on the outside from the student crowd attending that party.

Craig, a fellow classmate, took me apart and invited me to an after-hour party at a friend's place and I ended up in a stranger's apartment with 20 other partygoers. Feeling a bit an outcast, I gravitated on the outside of the crowd. That's when I notice a new arrival. Three persons arrived at the party, an obvious couple from the way they were at each other, and a very attractive redhead young woman. The host being busy elsewhere, I decided to greet the newcomers. Introductions were made and the couple went to meet some acquaintances. That left me with the splendid woman with a fiery mane of hair. 

She was a student in the nursing program and felt also a bit an outsider from the geeks' gathering. It took us an hour to connect with lively discussions full of humor and many shared opinions. The more we talked, the more body contacts she initiated and that I returned. By the time I was ready to ask her to my flat, she went ahead first. 

"Why don't we go to your place and fuck our brains out?"

"Good idea", I replied, "I was about to offer it."

On the way home, we gave a good show to an appreciative cab driver. We were glued to each other, kissing passionately and touching each other's body. She had nice little pert breasts that I freely caressed through her shirt. She was soon rubbing my full-blown erection through my jeans. We finally made it to my flat and the cab driver was smirking when I paid him.

From the building entrance to my apartment, we stayed glued to each other, kissing with even more hunger. We simply ran the flight of stairs and we were inside the flat at last.

Standing in the living room, we continued to franticly explore each other's mouth as I was removing her shirt and unclasping her bra. She was an amazingly wonderful vision, a pretty face with still some traces of summer freckles, absolutely captivating green eyes full of desire, naked from the waist up. Her small breasts stood proudly on her chest, the small pink nipples totally hard from her arousal and making a nice contrast to her very pale skin tone.

She didn't bother with my shirt and went straight for my pants. In a swift movement, she had my pants down to mid thighs and my full-blown cock was in her hand. Breaking the kiss, she looked down at her hand stroking my raging hard-on. 

"Oh my! I didn't have one of those in weeks". 

She looked at me with her beautiful green eyes and added, smiling "Can I?" while applying more pressure on my cock. 

"Argh...!" was all I could say before kissing her hungrily. She broke the kiss and got on her knees. I had to let go of her lovely breasts, but it was for a good cause.

She licked the pre-cum from my cock, looking straight at me, smiling. She then engulfed the tips on my cock, sending shivers down my spine. Her tongue was expertly licking my head while she was sucking. My hands went to her hair and I was enjoying every second of that nice blowjob. She started licking my cock all the way down and back while her hand was gently massaging my balls. Back at the tip, she engulfed my cock almost all the way and came back licking my cock's head. Her tongue was going around, following the rim and then licking the tip. She was bringing me close to an orgasm, and I told her so.

Her mouth let go of my cock with a pop! "We wouldn't want that, do we? I have other plan for that nice cock of yours." 

She got up and started kissing me, sharing the salty taste of my cock and pre-cum. All the while she was getting off her pants. I did the same and also removed my shirt. 

"My bed or the couch?", I offered.

"The couch will be just fine", she said. 

She walked to the couch pulling me by my hand. At the couch, instead of lying down, she got on her knees, her elbows resting on the back of the couch. She was swinging her ass from side to side.

"It's all yours lover-boy. Go straight in, it's waiting for you."

There's something to say about meeting a completely uninhibited young woman with her mind set on a good fuck. The sight she offered me was awesome. Her nice firm buttocks were a rhapsody of gentle curves and dimples, its milky white skin enhancing the pinkness of her ass hole and pussy. I longed to enter her right away but I had to caress her splendid behind. My hands roamed over her buttocks, down her thighs and back up toward her pussy. Her skin was so soft that I felt like I could spend the rest on my life simply caressing her body.

When my fingers reached her pussy, her wetness was amazing, already dripping down her vagina lips. My fingers prodded a bit her lips, caressed the clitoris and I inserted two fingers inside her. 

"No foreplay please, lover. Just fuck me!", she moaned.

"Just a minute girl, I really need to regal myself of your spectacular ass." I said

"If I had any pants on, I would say that you know how to speak to a girl to get in her pants", she replied.

I literally buried my face in her ass. While my tongue was licking up and down her lips and trying to tease her clit, my nose was exploring her vagina hole and her ass hole. Eileen kept moaning all the while. I soon had my face covered with her sweet tasting juice. 

I finally straightened up and got my hard cock at her pussy. I replace my tongue with my cock, rubbing it on her pussy and ass-hole. "As promised, time to fuck... hum... both holes are quite inviting..."

"Hold it there, buster!", she said. "Ass play is a no! no! on a first date".

"Just kidding, kiddo!", I said, and on that my cock went straight in. 

A groan escaped her. Despite her wetness, she was real tight. Her vagina was a tight tunnel, hot and wet. I stayed there deep into her, enjoying the sensation, pushing lightly as if to continue going deeper. My whole body wanted to nest inside her warm pussy.

"What are you waiting for? Get moving back there!" she asked.

Ever the gentleman, I obeyed. I pulled out and then rammed hard my rod of steel back into her. A groan escaped her, an invitation to repeat the process. I started to shove my cock faster in her tight pussy, my hand having a firm grip on her hips. She began to meet my thrusts with enthusiastic pushes from her hips and a lot of groaning but it became quickly useless. I was driven by my need to cum in her, lost in my own needs. 

Eileen finally settled down, resting her shoulders on the back of the couch, letting the slightly painful but nonetheless pleasurable sensations of a hard fucking take over her whole body. 

When I started to insert a finger in her anus, a high-pitched wail escaped her. Her own fingers went for her clit and I assume that she was working on her climax. Wails, grunts and my hips slapping on her ass were the only sounds we made. After a few minutes, she emitted a cry that changed to a loud wail and her whole sweaty body started to shudder, filled by her climax. Her pussy convulsed, gripping my cock tightly. I forced my cock a few last times in her pussy and then I started to empty myself. Each jet of my cum were sending a strong shiver through my body. At each shot of my cum, I was pushing desperately hard to penetrate the deeper I could, a simple animalistic reflex aimed at depositing my seeds deep inside her womb.

Exhausted, we settled down on the couch and took a few moments to bath in the afterglow of our mutual sexual exertion. Sitting side by side, I was holding her shoulder while she was turned slightly toward me, caressing my chest, my belly and my still somewhat inflated cock. 

We made love one more time that night with less urgency and more foreplay. We had a repeat the next morning, before she dressed, hate a bowl of cereal (we were famished), and left with a long kiss and promises to keep in touch.

***

The whiskey helping, my hand on my limp cock, my memories of time past faded, and I finally fell asleep in a drunken stupor.

Old habits die hard! The next morning, I was up at 6:30AM with a monster of a hang over. Totally dejected with life (the feeling as much a result of my headache as of the sorry state of my life), I made some coffee and decided my schedule for the day.

After breakfast, I turned my phone back on. My cell rang to let me know that I had messages waiting. A total of 12 messages were on my voice mail. The first four messages were from Eileen. As soon as her voice came, I skipped the message and deleted it. 

Then there was a short message from Mary. "Hi Dad! Where are you? Please phone me!" 

That one was a tough one. I knew Eileen would be monitoring Mary's cell phone so I decided not to phone her.

The next three messages were also from Eileen, mostly crying, with a few times my name audible in the gibberish. These too I erased.

The next one was from Mary again. "Please Dad, what's going on? You're not here and Mom is crying like if somebody was dead. She doesn't talk to me, she just cries. Please Dad, please, please, phone me!" 

It was heartbreaking. I will have to reach her somehow today.

One message from Eileen then I recognized my son's voice. 

"Hey Dad, I am not sure what is happening, but Mary phoned me earlier and she made no sense. Mom is not taking to me either. All I could ear was her crying in the background, and Mary is all upset with you not being home... Are you and Mom splitting? Phone me!" 

That's my son. Right to the point and drawing the right conclusions from very few facts. Gee I love my kids!

At 8:30, I phoned a lawyer that had worked with our company a few years back. He took my call right away and transferred me to a lawyer that did matrimonial cases. Her name was Vickie. Within half an hour she had all her instructions. She would draw up the divorce papers on the basis of adultery (she was amazed by my quick results) with provisions for an equal share of all our belongings except for our own company pension plans. As for Mary, the only minor still living with us, she had to choose with whom to live. I would not submit her to more upsets over a custody battle. In case of a problem from Eileen's lawyer, I was quite clear that the offer of an equal share was off the table and that I would come public with the proofs of adultery I had. 

I was adamant about one other point that was raised with my lawyer when she suggested that family counseling might be in order. I did not want to talk to Eileen ever again. All talks would be through our lawyers. Even my rights to have my daughter visit me, in the event she choose to live with Eileen, would be with an absolute no contact clause between exes. The divorce papers could be delivered early the next week but I had to talk with an assistant to identify precisely all the assets involved.

It was shortly past 9:00AM when I hanged up and it was time to call in sick. Tammy, a shared receptionist for Mike, the vice-president of operation, and me, answered the call. 

"There you are! What's happening? Eileen phoned twice since I got here. She kept crying and had a hard time to ask to talk to you..."

"Good morning to you too, Tammy!" I interrupted her. "I'm phoning to let you know I am sick and won't come to the office today. Can you patch me to Mike?"

"Sure I can patch you to Mike, SIR! But not before you answer my question." 

Tammy has been working with Mike and me for the last 7 years and, to be candid, she rules us all. I knew I had to be truthful or she would simply hang up on me.

"Tammy I don't want it out at the office, OK? Yesterday I caught Eileen cheating on me. Not just one time, I checked. So I am not going home. I am not talking to Eileen. I will divorce her. I am mad. I am hung-over. And I am at a total loss of what to do with the rest of my life. Is that clear enough for you?"

I could sense that Tammy was really mollified. 

"Oh, Kieran... I had a feeling it was something like that. It must be really hard, but here, at the office, don't forget that we are your friends." She said with a soft voice. 




A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 02



But Tammy couldn't stay mellow for long: "Anyway, what's the matter with that woman, for Christ sake? All the girls here think the world of you. Shit! We hope our boyfriends would be half the sweet guy you are."

That last remark was soothing for a cuckold guy. 

"Thanks Tammy! I needed a little boost. But now, can you patch me to Mike? Oh, and when Eileen phoned, tell her that I quit. That way she won't phone back... hopefully."

"Sure will do! Hang on there, Kieran! I'll transfer you."

After giving Mike the layout of my situation, he gave me my much-needed time-off. 

The rest of the day was spent in looking for apartments for rent and buying a few things, including a few changes of clothes. I also bought a pay-as-you-go cell phone and requested a change of phone number for my present one.

Shortly after 3:00 PM, I parked across from Mary's school. I was hoping that Eileen had send her to school despite the tragedy, a way to keep things as regular as possible, and having her to share her worries with her friends, in a familiar environment. And indeed, I finally saw her coming among the throng of school kids rushing out. I came out of the car to meet her. Upon seeing me, she ran and threw herself in my open arms. 

"Oh Dad, what's going on? Don't tell me Mark is right and that you and Mom are getting a divorce?" she told me, tears coming down her cheeks. 

There was no way I could get off easy with simple reassuring clichés. I didn't want to tell her about me finding out that Eileen was fucking around (although I died to do it out of spite), but I told her that her mom had somebody else in her life and that we had to split. 

Under her serious and hard stare, I defended myself, shoving the responsibility upon Eileen nevertheless. She tried to convince me to do something, anything to get back to normal, but I wasn't responsive and she felt it. 

At last, she spit at me, "And me? Do you think of me? What will I become?"

Taken aback by her anger toward me, I did a first mistake with my daughter. I choose the wrong road. I let my own anger take over.

"Listen Mary. It wasn't my fault. Your mom was lying to us and cheating on me for years (a little exaggeration might help my case). I didn't choose to have her make a fool of me, to betray my trust. She did it all by herself. She spread her legs for her lover and then came back home to us like if nothing was wrong. Well, it was wrong, very wrong! Now I know it and I hate her and I don't want nothing to do with her, ever!"

It was Mary's turn to be surprised by my angry tirade. "But Daddy, don't you love her anymore?" 

"No!" was my answer, "but I don't want to loose you. Here, take that phone. It's the only way I can talk to you without having to talk to your mom."

She started crying again, the finality of that new piece of equipment showing her that a whole world of bitterness was waiting ahead.

"I already recorded my new cell phone number on it. Only you and Mark will know it." 

More hugs and kisses and then she left back for home, dispirited. I learned later that Eileen fought back and convinced Mary that it was my decision to divorce her and was pushing Mary to choose to live with her. So be it!

Once my concerns for Mary were put at ease, I drove back to the motel. I even had a chat with the clerk to keep him informed of my day. What do you want? I am a sociable kind of guy.

Back to my room, my cell phone rang. 

"Daddy, you lied to me", was Mary's greeting. "Mom told me that she still loves you and doesn't want to be without you. That's only you wanting a divorce, not her!"

Here I did my second mistake in regard of my daughter. Again, I let my anger out. 

"Well, if she loves me, ask her why she has been lying to us for the last 2 years? Why she was fucking around with other men? Ask how it felt to kiss one man and then come home and kiss you and me like nothing was wrong? She's been lying to us for years. Why should we believe her now?" 

"But Dad..." she tried to put in. 

" No but Dad! When you ask her that, tell her also that the last time she saw me, with her boyfriend's hand up her ass, was the last time she will ever see me". I hung up on my daughter.

One minute later, the phone rang again. I answered. 

"Kieran, why did you talk like that to Mary. It's between you and me..." started to say Eileen.

I hung up and turned the phone off.

It was just the beginning!



A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 03



A special thanks to grogers7 for his patient editing of the story

Well provisioned with whiskey, I took a good mouthful right from the bottle. The sound of her voice was scorching my soul. Rage at her for what she had spoiled came rushing over me. It had been so good, from my point of view, that I was still trying to understand. 

Where did we go wrong? I am well aware that the destruction of a marriage is rarely one-sided, but I was really unable to understand what caused our marriage to come crashing down so unexpectedly.

I couldn't fathom Eileen's reason for her betrayal of my trust. Where did I go wrong?

Was I a bad lover? I thought that our sex life was good, that I always paid extra attention to Eileen's needs and desires. We were quite open about it, and I couldn't recall any recriminations concerning our lovemaking. I didn't notice any change in her lovemaking, or in our lovemaking. As much as I wanted to find flaws in our sex life to explain her behavior, nothing came to mind. Maybe I wasn't as aware as I first thought. What was my failing?

Was my love for her not enough? I always went the extra mile to make sure that my unconditional love for her was obvious. And I sure didn't notice any signs that she stopped loving me or even that she loved me less. Blinded by my love for her, I surmised that I didn't see the signs. And I was still unable to see them. Pitiful excuse for a husband, I tell you!

I tried in vain to tease out the factors or events that led my wife to lie to me for almost two years. I came up empty-handed. A total blank!

If I had been as good a husband as I believed myself to be, I would know the answers . I thought that I was a good listener, but I was wrong. She must have said something that went in one ear and out the other without registering on my brain.

I though I was a good judge of character, but now I believed my love for Eileen blinded me to what was really happening. 

I had no answers, and I was bound to stay like that. I will not ask her why she lied to me. I do not care. I would rather have all these unresolved issues than go through the process of talking with her. Anyway, I wouldn't be able to trust anything she might say. Two years of lies did that to our relationship. Where could I even find the will to trust her? We were definitely done as a couple, and too bad if unanswered questions lingered in my mind. For the first time I understood the saying 'Life's a bitch!'

All that I had left were my children and my memories, as tainted as the latter now were.

***

After a torrid first meeting, we phoned each other a couple of times over the next two months, but we never got to meet again due to the end of the semester and a shit-load of assignments and exams. 

In January, I was back at work and Eileen was still at school. Although we phoned each other more frequently, we met only four times the next four months. Each time was a repeat of the desperate fucking of our first date. For those who are wondering, Eileen was true to her word, and her ass wasn't off-limits anymore.

With summer came many occasions to get together. She had a summer job that gave her more free time. By then, we were almost constantly together outside of work.

At the end of August, we were able to squeeze in a week of vacation. We decided to go backpacking in the wild for five days. We went to a national park that had many miles of wilderness trails that would allow us to explore and to experiment in seclusion. It was a revealing experience: For five days we were alone, meeting only a few other trekkers, and we had plenty of time to really discover each other. We found that our shared feelings, common opinions, and world outlooks were compatible. Our lovemaking also changed as we learned more about each other. 

Back in town, we ended up at the flat that she shared with two other roommates. Nobody was home so we decided to take a shower together. While the water flowed over us, we met body to body. One long kiss led to many caresses. We began to soap each other. Our hands were exploring each other's bodies anew. She took the soap and started to rub it all over my chest, my belly and my already hard cock. I returned the favor, soaping up her front, my fingers spending a lot of time on her breasts then moving down to rub soap in the folds of her pussy. Her little moans showed me her contentment when I started rubbing her clit and inserting two fingers in her pussy hole.

I turned her around and began to rub soap on her back and buttocks; once in a while my hands ventured around front to massage her full breasts. One thing I like to do in a shower is a bit of anal play while we have plenty of water to clean up afterward and plenty of soap to make everything slide easily. I started to apply soap on my hard cock and in the crack of her bum. 

"Bent over a bit, sweetie!" I said, and Eileen complied readily. 

I then perceived a shadow at the door of the bathroom. While caressing Eileen's crack and soaping it thoroughly, I looked through the mist on the glass door of the shower. Some one was standing in the doorway of the bathroom. I swiped clean a part of the panel and was able to see a female in the bathroom, probably a roommate that was back home. The panel wasn't totally transparent so I couldn't quite recognize the person. I waived and she waived back. 

So we had an audience...

I turned back to the job at hand (and at cock for that matter). I took my cock and began to rub it up and down on Eileen's pussy folds, inserting it less than an inch in her pussy when aligned. Each time, Eileen groaned her appreciation. I did this a few times as I looked at her roommate who was standing by the vanity, a hand at her crotch. I decided to add a little sound effect to the scene. 

"How do you like it girl?"

"It feels good!" Eileen replied. 

I knew she could be rather vocal and explicit in her sexual requests, so I didn't have to work too hard to have her talk dirty. My cock was now back at the entrance of her pussy. 

"What would you like now?" I asked. 

"Fuck me! Fuck my pussy!" On that, I rammed my cock all the way in. 

"Oh my God!" she cried. 

I started a slow in and out movement, a tease with just a little penetration. 

"Is that the way you want it?" I asked.

"Harder, fuck me harder!" she pleaded. 

I took my cock out and rammed it in real hard, making Eileen gasped. While I was banging her hard, I inserted one, then two and three fingers in her anus. 

"Oh God! Oh God... oh..." she moaned. 

While supporting herself on the back wall of the shower with her left hand, she started rubbing her clit with her right hand. I was pumping my cock in her pussy and my fingers in her ass. 

"Oh!... Oh yes!... Oh God!..." she was half crying, half shrieking. 

"You know where I want my cock now, honey?" I asked, while I stopped pumping her pussy but continued to finger fuck her ass. 

"Yes, do it, put it in my ass", she replied. 

Removing my fingers, I placed my cock at the enlarged entrance of her anus and started to push my way in. Gee it was tight! One fraction of an inch at a time, I pushed until I was all the way in. 

"Oh God! Oh shit! Yeah fuck my ass, lover. Fuck it hard now that you're in"

I started to pump real hard. Her shrieks were getting louder. I glanced at her roommate and saw her rubbing her crotch real fast. Finally, when I was about to come, Eileen beat me to it. 

"Aaargh!... Shit..." Using her two hands for support on the wall, her body was convulsing and her tight anus was clenching my cock even harder. 

"I am about to come too honey. Where do you want my cum?" I asked. 

"Up my ass! Shoot your load up my ass", she answered and then started to push her ass to meet my thrusts. It was enough, and I started to unload gallons of cum up her ass. My back was arching, my whole body was entranced by my orgasm, I made each final thrust standing on my tiptoes with my hands pulling on her hips. 

Eileen finally straightened up, my cock still buried in her ass. She contorted herself and gave me a kiss. 

"Still there in my shit?" 

I hugged her from behind and continued a slow thrusting movement with my cock that didn't want to deflate. 

"I wish I could stay in you forever, but..." and I pulled out. Her roommate had left the washroom. 

We finished washing with a lot of kisses in between soaping and rinsing. We finally stepped out of the shower and began to dry each other. We left our dirty clothes on the floor and went naked out of the bathroom and toward her bedroom. 

Her roommate was sitting in the living room. Eileen had a little start and stopped walking. 

"Oh! Hi Pam! Been back long?" asked Eileen. 

"Long enough to know that the steam in the bathroom wasn't all from the shower head", she said with a big smile. "And you never told me that your fuck friend was so good looking. No wonder you took him away from civilization for a week, with no other women around to jump on him. If I had known, I would had jumped in the shower with you guys."

"That might have been interesting", said Eileen, and pointing at me "I don't think he would have complained. But I might have, because his new status is that of boyfriend, so..." 

With that, she grabbed my hand and pulled me toward her bedroom. There I had to tease her. "Do you always parade your boyfriend naked in front of your roommates? That's interesting. When is your other roommate due home? It might be better not to get dressed..." 

She smacked my shoulder with a weak backhand "Don't..." then she took me in an embrace and gave me a long intense kiss.

She looked at me hesitating: "You don't mind the boyfriend thing? We didn't really talk about it..." 

It was my turn to take her in my embrace and kiss her deeply. No words were needed.

Eight months later we were married, a bit to the chagrin of her dad who didn't exactly like having an Irish lad as part of the family. 

***

The next morning was a Saturday. I had another hangover and was at loss as to what to do with myself. Normally, Saturdays are family days, with a lot of chores and shopping. I was alone in a motel room with nothing to do but ruminate on my life.

The same questions kept coming up over and over. Where did I go wrong? Probably, as a result of my hangover, I felt even more depressed as this unanswered question kept popping up again and again in my head.

Then it dawned on me. The problem was that I was old, and there was nothing I could do about it. Her lover was in his 30's. I was at least 15 years older. How could I compete with a young stud? Nothing in my behavior nor in my mindset could change that simple fact. I was being ditched for a younger model. Instead of calling it quits before going for the young object of her passion, Eileen had simply taken the easy road of betrayal and prepared her new nest with strings of lies. 

One of my friends went down the same road a few years back, but at least he had the decency to divorce his wife when he realized that he was in love with a younger woman. The end result was just as bad for the rejected wife, but it was a bit more honest.

In normal circumstances, I am a light drinker. A glass of wine here and there, a bottle of whiskey that lasts for half a year, a few beers with the guys once in a great while. That morning, I went and bought my third bottle of whiskey in three days. And for good measure, I also bought a few beers.

Face it! Never in my life I had been so down, so depressed, so lost. And I didn't know how to cope. Was "getting smashed till you forget" a good recipe? I still don't know, but that was the plan for today and the near future. 

I was getting a bit drunk when I realized that I should phone Mark and Mary before I started to slur.

The phone call with Mark didn't go too well. 

First mistake, I phoned before 10:00AM and, to say the least, Mark is not an early riser on the weekends and is always a bit edgy when his sleep is interrupted. He had talked with both Mary and Eileen many times over the last two days. He kept asking me to talk to Eileen, to think things over and not rush into any decision. He kept repeating that she loves me. The present tense didn't escape me.

Rather than restrain me, his admonitions pushed back my sadness and stoked the fires of my ever present anger.

I made it clear that I didn't intend to speak to his mom again. I had him on my side when explaining the pain and the sadness of his mom's lies and betrayal, then – alcohol talking – I lost him when I kept referring to her as the slut. 

"Next time I need to speak to a whore," I said, "I'll chip in a couple of hundred bucks, and she will shut the fuck up if I ask her to". 

He hung up on me.

I took a few minutes to clam down and then I phoned Mary. 

"Hi, Dad!" And then hesitating, "How are you?"

"As good as could be, sweetie! But I miss you so much." 

"Me too Dad, I miss you. When are you coming back home?" 

Gee her kids can be so dense sometime!

"I will never put my feet in the same house as your Mom." I sounded a bit edgy here. 

"Pretty soon I will have my own place and you will be able to visit me." I said more cheerfully. 

She started to cry. 

"No daddy, I don't want to visit you in another house. I want you here with Mom and me. Don't do this to me, please Dad, talk to Mom, make it work... for me."

"It doesn't work like that, sweetie. Your Mom made a decision that will affect us all." I started to say.

"She betrayed us, and nothing will ever change that." My tone was getting more vehement. 

"I despise her, I hate her and I will never talk to that woman again. That's final! So stop asking me to come back. Oh by the way, will you want to live with me or with her? We will have to decide that for the divorce."

I felt that I might have been a bit blunt, but it felt good anyway. I like when we all know where we stand. Mary started crying. Well, maybe too blunt! Her sobbing got to me. 

"Well, you don't have to answer right away, sweetie... sweetie, still there?"

The loathed voice suddenly made itself heard. 

"Kieran, please vent your anger on me, not on Mary..." 

Then I broke my vow of silence, but hey I am not the first to break a vow in the family if I remember well. 

"Fuck you bitch!" I knew it was a lame retort, but it felt so good. I hung up.

Later that day, I phoned my lawyer's paralegal to give her the layout of our mutual assets, just like that, without looking at any papers or statements. It made me realized how close we were to our dream to retire and start enjoying a life of freedom. By the time I was done, I was totally depressed. 

Fortunately, I was transferred to Vicky, my lawyer, and she put the salve of payback on my wounds. After a few minutes of discussion, it was decided that we would also sue Eileen's lover for alienation of affection. Vengeance is good! With a little luck, he would be married, and we could mess him up further.

The divorce papers were ready by Monday. All week long, Mary was simply a parrot of my soon-to-be-ex-wife. She tried very hard to let me know that Eileen was devastated, that she loved me. Mary got desperate the day the divorce papers were hand-delivered. Eileen kept crying over her spilt milk all week long and made Mary's life miserable. 

To learn that Eileen was depressed, sad and wretched, that she missed work and was also drinking a lot made my day more than once that week. 

After one week of a drinking binge, I was as depressed as I started, but it was time to face reality. I had found a furnished flat not far from my work, and it was to be available soon. I went back to work. 

Led by Tammy, the whole crew had to stop by my office to express their concerns about my new predicament. I had received my share of invitations to visit and go out with my co-workers in the past, but never as many as now. I was a bit pissed off at Tammy for letting the whole office know about my divorce, but all the good wishes made me feel way better. 

Over the next month, Mary didn't stop asking me to come back to Eileen. She even threatened to not see me till I talk to her mom. I called her bluff, skipped a couple of Sunday visits, and then she relented. Whew!

She wasn't the only one to insist. Through our lawyers, Eileen insisted on having a talk with me before she signed any divorce papers. Even my lawyer insisted on a meeting. I refused. One day, Vicky finally gave me an ultimatum. 

"All she wants is to talk to you! She will agree to shared custody of your daughter and an equal split of the value of your house and assets. She will even testify to confirm her affair with the physician in our lawsuit against him for alienation of affection. All she wants is to talk to you." 

Vicky put so much pressure on me that I finally agreed to a meeting -- with the lawyers present. On my terms!

***

Eileen

It is hard to describe how I felt about that meeting. I had just spent the worst two months of my life and I finally had a chance to talk to Kieran, to try to explain my stupid behavior, a chance to see him after two long months. We had never been apart for more than 2 or 3 days. A whole part of myself was missing, dearly missing.

I didn't sleep at all the previous night. All my speeches, all the questions I wanted to answer were swirling in my mind all night long. To tell the truth, I was a wreck. 

I felt so guilty. I had done it to us. My selfishness over the last few years came crashing around me, destroying something I mistakenly believed would last forever regardless of my behavior.

I felt guilty for lying to Kieran. And the worst is that I would probably have continued to lie to him. Not that I intended to continue meeting Xavier. In fact, Kieran surprised us after I had broken with him. We were meeting a last time, a last fuck for old time sake. But I doubt that I would have revealed my affair. Maybe later, much later! Probably on my deathbed! But I know I would have continued to keep that secret for a long time.

How to explain that lie, my betrayal? When the young doctor Xavier Guttierez first began working at the hospital, we were all taken by his exotic looks. A tall handsome Catalan who immigrated from Spain a few years back. While not immune to his good looks, I wasn't particularly attracted to him. He was a bit conceited and was always trying to charm every female he met. Many of my co-workers fell to his charms. And I know it for a fact because he constantly bragged about it.

Of course I found it flattering that such a handsome young man showed interest in me. I found it less appealing that he was doing so even in front of his wife. Despite my many rebuttals, he still kept coming at me. I started by being very diplomatic when I brushed off his advances. They were never overboard, never what I would define as harassment. A compliment here, a simple smile there. I knew that he found me attractive. After months of that, and seeing that he was having success with some of my colleagues, I was annoyed by his behavior and became more abrupt. 

At the same time, a few grey hairs made their appearance and, I noticed some gentle creases on the side on my eyes. I was taking a bit longer with my morning make up to hide these little signs on aging. On top of that, Kieran had changed gears in our retirement planning. It's funny (well not really) how one day you feel young and on top of the world, and the next you ask yourself how to mask the passage of time.

One morning, I bluntly rebuffed Xavier when he greeted me with a compliment on my outfit. I had heard the same line from him over and over. I told him to back off and quit bothering me.

He then said something that hit a nerve.

"I see that I am starting to get at you. Your rude rejection is a blessing. Now that I know that, let me tell you that I am here for you, and only you. No need to be jealous. None of the women I know come close to your beauty or your charms. Some are pretty, but you are beautiful. When you need Xavier, you only have to ask."




A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 03



I suddenly realized that my outburst had been as much a sign that I was jealous of all the women fawning over him as it was a lack of attraction to him. 

I know now that it was a defining moment where I could have chosen to talk with Kieran and work together with him to help me feel better. Instead, I chose to date Xavier and started lying to Kieran. I felt slightly guilty then, but I still met Xavier every two or three months, each time I had the blues of getting older. 

I felt guilty now for my betrayal of Kieran and guilty for the harm to Kieran and our family. 

I felt guilty for all the hurt I caused. I still had a faint hope for us, but I knew better. I sincerely wished that I had not wounded Kieran, the lovely man that I adore. I felt guilty knowing that I probably crushed something in him that might affect him for the rest of his life. His life without me!

I am not the kind of woman to make excuses, to try to coat a terrible situation with a web of artificial and tenuous reasoning. I wanted Kieran back in my life, but I found no way to reach that goal. Nothing I could say, no apologies could achieve that.

Personally, if I had learned that Kieran was doing what I had done, he would have spent a few days in the hospital. But that's not the way of my gentle Kieran. 

I will not give up. If Kieran can be a willful person, so can I. I will never give up!

That morning before the meeting with Kieran and his lawyer, I spent an hour in front of my mirror trying to cover the black areas under my eyes to no avail. I looked old and awful.

I met my lawyer in the lobby of a downtown hotel. A neutral ground! We were going to a conference room to meet Kieran and his lawyer. My stomach was in a knot. A bit more stress and I swear I would throw up right then and there at the door. My lawyer took me by the elbow, said a few comforting words then opened the door.

I first saw a pretty young female, a brunette in her 30's sitting at the table in the room. Then I saw Kieran. He was pale, extremely pale, looking a bit sick. He didn't glance our way, he just stared out the window. I had an urge to go to him, take him in my arms, kiss him all over and tell him how much I loved him. I took a step in his direction, but both lawyers stopped that impulse. My lawyer had a firm grip on my elbow, and his lawyer simply raised her hand in a classic stop sign.

Guided by my lawyer, I sat across from Kieran and his lawyer. She spoke first. 

"Mister Brown, Mrs. O'Malley, we are meeting today as part of an agreement that stipulates that you have the chance to talk to your husband, and that you will then sign the divorce papers and testimony agreed upon. Are we clear on that?"

Before I could think of an answer, my lawyer answered. "It is as agreed. Furthermore, I reviewed..."

While the two lawyers made sure to convince us that our big bucks were well spent, I looked at Kieran. Not once did he look toward me. Like the last two months, his complete rejection of me felt like melted lead poured on my soul - heavy and burning to the core. The man I loved above all, despite what I did, that man clearly showed me that I was nothing to him anymore, a sore memory. Tears flooded my eyes, I looked at my handsome Kieran, knowing the world of hurt I had put on him, knowing that something that shouldn't be touched was irrevocably broken. 

My lawyer finally turned toward me: "You have the floor Eileen."

Despite all my preparation and rehersals, I wasn't ready. The sight of Kieran reopened wounds. I was overwhelmed by a rush of guilty feelings, of unanswered love, of a need to be understood, to apologize, and to put all that madness behind us. Refraining from crying, I took a good long slow breath.

" Kieran, I... I know you will not believe me, but I love you. You mean the world to me. I don't want to loose you Kieran. I don't care about our retirement plans, about our investments, about our house. All I want is for you to find it in yourself to forgive me, to continue to love me and let me love you. Just to let me love you..." 

I had to take a long and deep breath or I would be losing it. 

"Kieran, I take full responsibility for what happened over the last two months. It was my fault. I made a mistake. A terrible mistake! I should have trusted you. I should have shared with you what was happening to me..."

At that moment, Kieran finally looked at me. My heart skipped a few beats. His look was so charged with hatred that I was disoriented for a while. I was in unknown territory. Never in our 22 years together had Kieran showed such an emotion toward me or any other human being for that matter. I took another deep breath. 

"Oh Kieran, I love you so much, I hurt to know how deeply I wounded you. I... I made a terrible mistake... a stupid mistake. I am not even sure exactly why I did it. The best I can come up with is what you went through at 40. Your mid-life crisis! I was feeling old. I was getting old. Gray hair appearing, wrinkles harder to hide, talking like old folks planning our retirement... all that made me try to be younger again, to feel young, to feel desirable. I still love you and I should have shared those feelings with you. That was one of my mistakes... The other mistake is that I hid it from you. I went on my own to solve my problem. I took a young lover. Now that I look back, it is so petty, so small compared to what we have -- you and me. Fuckin' gray hair! Kieran, please believe me when I say that I love you more than my life. Please, forgive me!... Please... Kieran I love you. Give me a chance to love you, to make it up to you... I will take your hate and live with it, if it means that I can live with you. Please Kieran..."

His face had changed over the last minutes. From pale, he had become red-faced and his eyes were filled with tears. He looked my way for a few seconds, as though waiting for more. I had nothing left in me except to repeat how much I loved him, how much I missed him and that I was only half a person without him.

Then, he plunged a knife in my heart. He turned toward his lawyer, whispered a few words and left the room without looking at me. I could see his face crumbling and knew he was near tears. 

"Well, our part of the bargain is done!" his lawyer said. She pushed some papers toward our side of the table and said: "Now, it's your part of the bargain, please sign where I put the little arrows."

I jumped from my seat. 

"But he didn't say anything. He didn't ask any questions."

"Sorry to break the news to you", said his lawyer with a quick glance at my lawyer, "but the deal was for you to talk to him then to sign the divorce papers. Not for him to talk to you or argue with you or whatever you had in mind... I am sorry to be the one to tell you this but his decision is final. He will not talk to you again, if he can help it. He wants you out of his life. Sign here please"

Tearful, unable to talk, I turned toward my lawyer. 

"Sorry Eileen, I didn't think he would take our agreement so literally and refuse to talk with you. But indeed, we simply agreed that you would talk to him."

Without being able to read anything among the tears flooding my eyes and dripping on the divorce papers, I signed.



A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 04



A special thank to my editor grogers7

Back to Kieran

I had to get out of that conference room. A few more minutes and I would have slapped Eileen then reached for her and cried on her beautiful bosom. I don't know how to describe the love I still felt for her and the rage that had me shaking from top to bottom. I was unable to deal with the mixed-feelings I felt inside.

My lawyer came out of the room minutes later, looking pissed off: "You should have given her more time to explain. You should have talked to her! That divorce might have been avoided..."

I am pretty sure she had more to say, but her outburst had the opposite effect on me: It flushed away any mellow feelings I had from seeing Eileen for the first time since I discovered her betrayal of my trust.

"Do you have the signed papers?" I asked dryly. 

Vicky waved the papers at me. 

"That's all I wanted"

Vicky's hard stare had me going. 

"What do you expect? When she said 'I should have shared with you what was happening to me', should I have asked her how her fucking was now? My goodness, she was cheating! When she talked about taking a lover, should I have asked her what size he was? How much better he was? FUCK THE BITCH! Take the papers, file them in court and don't bother me again with my ex's requests."

Well, I knew for sure that we wouldn't have too many client lawyer conferences in the future. One month later, I would receive the formal court ruling on the divorce. 

Later that evening, after meeting Eileen, something that she had brought up came to mind: my own mid-life crisis.

It happened almost seven years ago. I was turning 40, and as was the trend on my side of the family, my hair started to turn gray, mostly on the sideburns; if I didn't shave everyday, my whiskers looked gray. That was a wake-up call for me. I was getting old, gray-haired old! Eileen kept telling me it made me more stately looking, that she found it attractive, but the fact was - I was getting old. 

We were sitting together on the sofa late one evening when she asked, "Are you afraid that women won't be attracted to you anymore?" As she spoke, she came closer to me and started to stroke my cock through the thin fabric of my PJ's

"I can tell you that you are still extremely attractive." Her hand reached inside my PJ and she started to gently jack me off. 

"When we go out, I see plenty of women that have a good look at you, Dear. Not that I am jealous, but I do notice it. And there's something they don't know..." 

She got down on her knees in front of me without stopping her stroking of my very hard cock. "...they don't know how good a lover you are and how good you can use this nice cock of yours." 

She engulfed my whole cock in her mouth. The sheer pleasure of her mouth working wonders on my penis sent shivers through my body. I put my hands on her head and followed her bobbing motion. Closing my eyes, I let my whole body enjoy the sensation of her mouth and tongue caressing my cock. I was in heaven and any feelings of getting old had left my mind.

She finally stopped her blowjob, stood up, removed her panties and straddled me. I unbuttoned her shirt, getting free access to her beautiful breasts. While I caressed and sucked on her tits, she grabbed my cock and started to rub it up and down on her pussy lips, paying special attention to her clit. She was already very wet. 

"I have an idea that might interest you, Darling."

"Just ask, Sweetie, and I will have my head between your thighs in an heartbeat." 

She gently swatted my shoulder with a backhand: "Not that, silly... although IT IS a good idea." 

She left my lap and laid herself on her back, spreading her legs. I dove right in savoring the smell and the sweet taste of her pussy.

It was her turn to run her fingers through my hair while my tongue played with her lips and clit. 

"At work, there is that nurse who works in obstetrics... Remember, the one that told me that she and her husband were into swinging? Well, I was thinking that it might be exactly what you need... Oh, that feels good..." My tongue was darting inside her pussy then coming back for more sucking on her clitoris. "What do you think?"

It is a bit hard to talk while sucking on a woman's pussy. So, in order to be able to answer her question, I stopped my cunnilingus and crept between her spread legs. As soon as my cock got within reach, Eileen grabbed it and guided it toward her pussy hole. I pushed in.

"Argh... That feels so good... We spoke about it before, but if I remember, we were a bit unsure of our feelings about that kind of experience. You want a slow motion or a hard fuck?" I asked between strokes.

"Fuck me hard now, honey. Close your eyes and think that you are fucking Wendy, hard, real hard." 

I increased my tempo. 

"Yeah, that's it, baby. Fuck her hard... Oh fuck...She is screaming from your thrusts inside her womb... Oh shit!... Wendy's cumming... she's cumming ... argh..." 

Eileen's climax and the images she put in my head were enough for me. I started to unload my cum inside her while doing my last desperate push inside her. I finally rolled off her and let myself fall on my knees by the side of the couch. I kissed her while I tried to cup some of the sperm dripping from her pussy with my fingers. I got a bit and put my fingers in Eileen's mouth. She licked the cum from my fingers and we resumed our kissing.

We discussed the subject many times over the next few weeks. Before that, it had been only talk about a very remote possibility; it was a sexual fantasy played between two mates. We were now discussing the real thing. With real people!

We finally agreed to give it a try, despite some reservations we had. Eileen would ask Wendy and her husband, Tom, to come for dinner and see what develop.

They came on Saturday, two weeks later. Both kids were at their grandparents' house for the night. Wendy was also a nurse. She was very pretty despite being slightly overweight. Her amazing doe-like eyes made up for any concern a man might have with her few extra pounds. At 32, she was about 5'4", with light brown hair and, a bonus of her weight, a very enticing big pair of boobs. Her husband, Tom, was just a couple of years younger than Eileen at 35. He was average height and weight, at 5'9" and 180 pounds. A sales representative for a big electronics company, he could talk a blue streak. I found him a bit overbearing, but hey, I was not the one who might have sex with him. Eileen and I agreed beforehand that if any of us weren't interested, we would simply put a stop to everything and simply have a nice supper and evening with friends.

Both Wendy and Tom knew that we might be interested in sex with them, but they also understood that we had to find our limits. Wendy was particularly clear that she understood how we felt because she went through the same process a few years back. However, Tom was more assertive. Often during the meal he clearly stated how attractive Eileen was. She is a very attractive woman, but his constant innuendos and sex overtones kind of got on my nerves. Fortunately, my strong-headed wife and the soft talking Wendy reacted very well and Tom finally calmed down.

After supper, we went to the living room for an Armagnac brandy aged 15 years. Unsure what to do, Wendy took the lead and grabbed Tom, who was blatantly eyeing Eileen, and sat him beside her on the couch while Eileen and I took the love seat. I put on some soft rock music.

While we were talking, Wendy and Eileen seemed to be working in tandem. They both leaned on their respective husbands and started some slow caress. Eileen had her fingers in my hair while Wendy was gently rubbing Tom's obvious erection. At one moment, Eileen pulled me toward her and gave me a long sensuous French kiss. When we broke the kiss, Wendy was also kissing Tom who had his hand now firmly under her blouse. Eileen and I looked at each other then we resumed kissing. Eileen grabbed my rising erection, and I searched and found her delicious breasts. I sensed Eileen's fingers unbuttoning her own blouse and my fingers soon found her nice soft flesh, sliding inside her bra.

Hearing a zipper being pulled down, I looked at Wendy and Tom. Her blouse was completely opened and her extra big breasts were spilling out with her two nipples very erect. The areolas around the nipples were huge and brown and the nipples were at least half an inch long. Tom's cock was now in plain sight, totally erect and he was responding to Wendy's ministration by small thrusts from his hips.

Not to be undone, Eileen removed her blouse and unclasped her bra. My beautiful wife was naked from the waist up. She then undid my own zipper and took my hard cock out of its confines. She climbed on me, her breasts at mouth level and was still able to stroke my cock while I enjoyed the nice feeling of her breasts and nipples in my mouth.

Wendy also took her blouse and bra off but went a step further and slid her skirt down, keeping only her g-string. She then got on her knees and began to blow Tom. Soon after, Eileen also went on her knees and took my whole cock in her mouth.

"Man, that's paradise!" said Tom. 

He was ogling Eileen's perfect breasts hanging and bobbing while she was taking care of me. 

"I can't wait to have those small titties in my mouth and put my fingers in that red hair."

Wendy stopped her blowjob, turned toward Eileen and me. 

"Mind if we switch partners, partner?" she said.

My cock popped out of Eileen's mouth and she got up. She looked at me, question marks all over her face.

"It's the moment of truth" she said "Should we?"

I was unsure. We had put ourselves in that position and now we had to make a decision. Was I excited to have a chance to be with the young Wendy? Sure! Was I feeling good with Eileen with another man? Not so sure! 

I didn't answer right away. In fact, I wished I would not have to answer at all. Too many conflicting emotions were running wild in my head. Excitement was clashing with foreboding. I then made the mistake of thinking about what the others would think of me: the party pooper, the old guy that ruined the fun.

"Alright, I guess!" I finally said with some reluctance lingering in my tone.

Eileen kissed me tenderly then went toward Tom.

Wendy came to face me. 

"Honey, I've been dying to meet you with all the nice things Eileen tells me about you." 

She then straddled me, pulled my shirt off and started to kiss me with a passion. It took me a while to begin returning the kiss, but I did.

Despite my reluctance, as soon as Wendy began to stoke my cock I regained some firmness that I had lost in the last minute. A woman, not my wife, was giving me a hand job. When she put her large breasts close to my mouth, I decided to take a nipple in my mouth and caress the other breast.

Wendy finally left my lap to knee down in front of me.

I wasn't too sad to leave her breasts. To tell the truth, they felt way too soft. While Eileen's breasts are soft, they are also very firm for a woman that gave birth to two children. Wendy's tits had no substance. The nipples were awesome though. Hard, long and very sensitive by what I could tell.

Without a word, she engulfed my cock. It sent a jolt through my body but also it made me realized that we had just crossed a line. She was the first woman to suck my cock since I met Eileen. The novelty of another woman pleasuring me with her mouth was intoxicating but I didn't feel right. 

I looked toward Eileen and Tom.

I felt a pang of jealousy seeing my lovely wife with another man's cock in her hand. She looked toward Wendy and me, then got on her knees in front of Tom. He put his hands on her head and was pulling Eileen's head toward his shaft. She grabbed it and licked the tip.

Realization hit me then. I couldn't do it! I've got no problem with people swinging, but it really is not for me. All sexual excitement left me in a hurry. Wendy noticed.

"Something's wrong? You're going soft."

Hearing that, Eileen turned toward us. I looked at her and shook my head. 

"I can't", I said.

Wendy stopped caressing my cock. Eileen got up and came to me. She sat beside me on the love seat and hugged me. Wendy was back beside Tom and started dressing up.

"Dress up Tom! It's over", she said.

"Darn!" was his simple remark, but he began also to pull up his pants.

They were gone a few minutes later, Wendy expressing her understanding of the situation.

After cleaning up and a quick shower, we ended up in bed. We discussed our mixed feelings about the evening.

"It was a mistake." I said.

"I can see that." Eileen replied.

"I realized that the cure was worse than the disease. I didn't want to trade my mid-life insecurity for insecurity in our marriage. The insecurity that I may lose you, lose our family."

We made love, tenderly, two souls reaching for each other.

My mid-life crisis was over.

***

The next few months were uneventful. I was drinking too much and still felt resentful about Eileen. I didn't date despite a few offers from co-workers. I know Tammy's hands were all over those requests for lunch or supper. My only sex life was self induced or through an escort agency that counted me as a "dear valued customer". Go figure! Did you ever spend Christmas with only a whore as company? She left the flat after I passed out.

Evenings like that reignited my anger, but they were few, and my life was getting back on track. 

Seeing my daughter often reopened my wounds. At least, she talked less and less about her Mom as she began to notice the negative effects it had on me. 

One year after the divorce, Mary was graduating from high school. I wanted to attend just the official school ceremony, but Mary insisted that I come to our old house for a party organized by Eileen and her parents. Great! My ex-wife surrounded by her faithful followers. The factor that tipped the balance was my son Mark's presence. I only saw him twice in the last year. And I can never say No to my baby girl!

The dreadful graduation day arrived. 

Eileen's view of the day

Kieran cut me off for the entire year since he discovered my lies. During that year, Mary and I had tried many times to have him with us, if just for a few hours, but he always declined. Even at Christmas! He chose to be alone, and that wasn't very happy for us, either. We all knew he was alone for Christmas. I would had lived with my shame and my guilt in a heartbeat if it meant to have Kieran around for a while.

Mark was distant with me, even a bit accusing in his remarks. What a wonderful young man he is, the spitting image of his Dad. I looked at him and could see Kieran as he was when we first met. To be frank, I always hurt when I notice the many similarities between Mark and Kieran. The way they talk, the way they walk, the way they smile. Oh their smiles, they hurt so much! Mark didn't smile for me, but he did smile a lot for Mary. 

I shrugged those thoughts from my mind. It was Mary's day, her graduation. And I would finally have a chance to see Kieran again for the first time in 10 months. Ten lonely long months! Even at the hospital, I am persona non grata with my colleagues due to Kieran's lawsuit against my former lover. Thank God that Kieran didn't sue the hospital!

Dad didn't take it well when we insisted on having Kieran attend our family get together. Well, my Dad never had warmed up to Kieran. He built some respect over the years, but I am always his baby girl that got swept away by an Irish rascal. No lost love between an old Scottish father and a husband with Irish roots. Sure, Dad read me the riot act when he learned of my behavior. I almost thought that he was finally siding with Kieran, which I would have approved with all my heart. But it didn't last long, and he stood by my side for the last year.

I couldn't believe that I still felt so bad. When we got to the school for the ceremony, I kept looking for Kieran. No sign of him! Mom, Dad and I sat not far from the podium where the kids would receive their diplomas. 

My heart jumped right up in my throat when I finally saw Kieran walking in. He was dressed sharply with loose fitting grey slacks, an open-collar blue shirt and a light suede black vest. He was as handsome as ever. Mark was with him. So much alike! I couldn't help it: tears started to flood my eyes. Mom patted my arms trying to soothe me.

Mark spotted us and pointed us out. Kieran had a quick look then chose a seat as far as possible from us. Mark came to hug Mom, Dad and me. He then returned to be with his Dad. During the ceremony, I kept stealing glances toward my two men. Can it be possible to love somebody so much and hurt like Hell? Yes! My thoughts were in turmoil. I almost missed Mary going up-stage to receive her diploma. Thankfully, Dad took all the pictures.

My stomach was in a knot as we were driving back home, a place where I had so many years of happiness, but the last year full of sorrow, sadness and loneliness. We finally made it home, and I kept myself busy with the food preparation. As much as Kieran was avoiding me, I spied him over the next few minutes. I believe he wasn't feeling any better than me. He was very pale, almost ashen. He shied away from Dad, Mom and me. Only when Mary and Mark were by him did he seem to warm up. At one moment, Mary jumped into his arms. 

"I am so glad you came, Daddy! It's not like before, but almost." 

I had to go in the kitchen in order to keep the kids from seeing me cry. Mom came with me to hug me. 

When I returned to the living room, holding a tray laden with food, the worst scenario was playing out. Mark and Mary were looking at the pictures on the camera and my Dad was talking with Kieran. 

"So young man, you finally decided to get a grip and come back. I didn't think you had the spine!"

Oh my God! I didn't doubt Kieran's ability to deal with the harsh judgment of my Dad in the past, but now, with all I had put him through... 

Mom, Mary, Mark and I were stunned; all gaping at the two headstrong males going at it. 

"Well, fuck you too old man! Say, you look sick... any chance you are about to die and make my day?" replied Kieran. 

That's when I learned the terrible news.

"Well Lad, you will be glad to know that indeed I am about to die. I wanted to break the news more gently to the family but, thanks to you, the cat is out of the bag. The doctors didn't give me more than a few months. So your wish is going to be granted"

If possible, Kieran turned even paler than he was. He looked at Dad, mouth wide open, like the rest of us, except for Mom who was looking angrily at Kieran. He might have lost his only supporter on my side of the family. 

For a split second, my former beautiful husband reemerged. He took hold of Dad's arm. 

"Sorry old man! Really sorry! I didn't mean it!" I saw tears glistening in his eyes as he spoke. 

"Yeah, right!" answered my Dad. "I hope, for your sake, that I accept apologies better than you do." 

On that last blow, my Dad turned away from Kieran and made his way to the table where the food was waiting.

Needless to say the meal wasn't very cheerful! Dad didn't say a word while Mom broke the news about Dad's cancer: too far advanced for any chance of recovery. We picked at our plates, but nobody ate much. 

After half an hour, Mary left for a co-ed party. She didn't feel like going, but we all insisted that she go. Mark drove her and then went back to Kieran's apartment. Mom and Dad followed not long after that. Mom wanted to help clean up but Kieran (more points with her after his apologies and obvious sadness for my Dad's condition) convinced her that he would help me to clean up.

Suddenly, Kieran and I were alone for the first time in a year. He started to bring plates from the table to the kitchen. In the kitchen, he turned on the hot water tap and began to pile up the plates in the sink. I kept myself busy putting leftovers in plastic containers. We worked in complete silence. It was unreal. We had done it so many times. It was like a step back in time. I couldn't help it and started crying. I grabbed a dishtowel and began to dry the plates. 




A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 04



After a few minutes of hearing me sobbing, Kieran finally said something to me that wasn't an insult. 

"I am really sorry for your Dad. Mary and Mark will be devastated."

I couldn't help it. I sat on a chair at the table in the kitchen and started to cry. Tentatively, Kieran approached me. 

"I know what it is like to lose a parent... Hang on to their last days and enjoy them for as long as they are here." 

He then put his hand on my shoulder. Instead of appeasing me, it multiplied my sadness tenfold. I jumped from the chair and took a hold of him. I was hugging him like there was no tomorrow. I found it very soothing to cry on his shoulder. 

Gently, he put his arms around my shoulders. By his act, he helped me focus on something other than my Dad's predicament. I missed his gentle attention so much, his loving presence in so many little details of our daily life. I still wanted him back! I tightened my grip of him. 

I lifted my face toward his and said: " I miss you! I love you, Kieran". 

His eyes were tearful and I misread it as love. I grabbed his head and planted a huge kiss on him. He didn't answer back, but I still could feel his cock growing hard on my belly.

My mistake was to read that as a sign that he still longed for me while it turned out that he was simply real horny from a lack of sex. I wanted him badly. Any little contact was better than the total lack of it in the last year. I was overwhelmed by my own desire for him, for any shreds of contact. Without thinking, my hand went to his crotch and I caressed his bulge through his pants. 

" I love you Kieran. I need you. Come back to me. Don't leave us behind. Please, make love to me!" I said.

What happened next wasn't expected. From concerned, his stare turned cold and remote. He broke my grip, pushing me away from him. He looked at me from a distance. Then, not gently at all, he turned me around. He proceeded to take my pants down and bent me over the kitchen table. By the time I realized what was happening, I felt his cock at the entrance of my cunt. I wasn't wet at all, and it hurt when he pushed his way inside me. I had envisioned many different revenge fucks from Kieran over the last year, many payback situations, but nothing like this. I was spread on the table, and an unknown beast, a creature of my own making, was spearing me in half. I cried.

Without a word, Kieran fucked me. A simple fuck with no trace of love. At least, it didn't last too long. After a dozen hard thrusts of his cock, I felt the telltale signs of his ejaculation. With a few harrumphs, he let his load flood my cunt. 

As soon as he was finished, he simply pulled up his pants and walked away from the kitchen. Without a word, I followed him into the living room. He went to the door and left. 

I spent the next few hours crying over my Dad's fate and Kieran's total rejection of me.

***

Back to Kieran

I thought my anger was mostly gone, leaving just cold feelings. How wrong I was! I couldn't believe what a fucking bitch Eileen revealed herself to be. Trading on her father's sickness, she tried to make me feel guilty about our divorce. It was not enough that she was using my guilt for rudely hurting Mary, now she used her own father, a sore son-of-a-bitch that despised me, as a way to make me feel sorry for her. Fuck her! And I did. When she grabbed my erection, I lost it. It was painful, my penis still hurts, but it was worth the pain knowing that she felt at least as much pain as I.

I don't think I will ever be caught up in another gimmick like that. I swore to myself that I would avoid being in the same room with her at all costs. Well, that was my thinking at the time. 

Six months later, Mary broke the news that her granddad passed away. Just before Christmas. Damn! I was bound for another family reunion. I wondered what Eileen would try next. 

I went to the funeral home with Mark. Thanks to his abiding love for me! Mary was with her grandma and Eileen. There was a little ceremony of speeches for the departed, including a very lame one from Eileen, whose comments all seemed directed toward me. Notably, those about undying love between mates. Then the surviving loved ones passed by the coffin and spent some time praying over the deceased.

As soon as I could, I politely left the funeral home. I happily avoided any contact with Eileen.

A few months later, Mark entered into wedlock himself. His girlfriend from his first year in college, Rebecca, was a pretty little thing barely 5'3. They looked very good together.

Mary came to the wedding with a young man she met in college. He was quite sharp although a bit chatty. I think he was trying too hard to impress me. Eileen came with her Mom. It made it harder to avoid her, but I did the best I could. I still had a bit of remorse for granny. 

Fortunately, I came with an escort, a real escort. She was a young woman of 25, barely older than my Mary. Before the wedding, I had taken her to a stylish women's wear store. Her dress and her makeup were so subdued that nobody could think that she was a whore.

I could see Eileen occasionally glancing at us, and I felt good. I was hoping that she felt bad about me being with a young woman. All evening, I successfully avoided her. To be truthful, I felt a little bit bad about our last encounter in her kitchen. 

Nothing last forever! At one moment, I was at the cocktail table refilling our glasses. 

"They look good don't they?" asked Eileen who appeared at my side from nowhere. 

Without looking at her, I glanced toward Mark and Rebecca. 

"Yeah! I wonder how long it will last. 5 years? 10 years? 22 years? Before she cheats on him". 

I swear it was like I had slapped her in the face. She recoiled from me and started to turn around. 

"I hope I am still alive when that happens, you wouldn't be much help then", I said aloud to her back.

The late night fuck I had with my escort wasn't enough to distract me from a miserable feeling I had in my gut. When would I learn to let go of Eileen? Everything I did, everything I thought was always related to her. It had to change. I had to do something with my life.



A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 05



A special thanks to grogers7 for his patience editing my story

Life goes on

I definitely had to do something with my life. 

It took me a while but I finally decided to listen to Tammy and accept a date. The day I broke the news to her, she jumped into my arms and gave me a big hug that I returned with enthusiasm. Tammy is very attractive and well shaped. My natural reaction was to have a small erection.

" Oh my!" she exclaimed. "I know somebody that really needs a date -- and soon!" She pushed back a little looking at the bulge in my pants. "Very soon!"

She was moving fast. The next day, she put a name, Cindy, a date, hour (Friday at 8:00PM) and the name of a restaurant downtown on my desk. 

"Here's your date. Be there!" was all she said.

Well, Tammy knows me quite well, so I decided to give it a try. The next Saturday, at 7:40 I was at the restaurant waiting for my date. The maitre d' arrived at my table with a nice looking brunette of about 40. Cindy was very pretty and nicely dressed. At 5'7", she had a charming smile, was a bit shy, and aroused my interest. She let me choose the many courses of our meal, and we talked a lot as we ate, Tammy was right! She was a good fit. 

During the taxi ride to my apartment, we simply held hands. The evening was just starting. 

At the apartment, Cindy's behavior changed. She became more assertive, something I didn't mind at all. On the couch, with a drink in front of us, she started to snuggle into me. I was already hard in anticipation. Her head was resting on my shoulder, and she was caressing my chest. 

"I hope you will not think of me as a slut", she said. "But, from what I heard from Tammy, you are quite a lover, and I need that real bad". 

She started to stroke my cock trough my pants, and as horny as I was, I immediately slipped my hand under her blouse and caressed her breasts. We started kissing a bit tentatively at first, but our kisses grew in intensity. She soon had my pants unzipped, and I had her blouse open and her breasts well in hand. I pushed her back on the couch and started to suck on her breasts in earnest. She had a firm hold of my erect penis. Her nipples were like Eileen's, a quarter of an inch high and very sensitive to my touch. I reached underneath her skirt and found her mound of pleasure. When my fingers reached her wet pussy, she gasped.

I pushed her skirt away and dove to nuzzle her pussy and inhale her scent through her panties. I sat back up and delicately removed her panties as she lifted her hips and put her legs together to help. Slowly, I pulled her panties all the way down her legs, and at the last she pulled one foot out and spread her legs as I held her panties to my nose. 

"One less thing in the way" I said, smiling, twirling her panties on my finger and tossing them away.

Her pussy was there waiting for my attention. She had beautiful thin thighs and very rosy pussy lips. I began to lick the inside of her thighs and found her pussy dripping wet. Her scent was intoxicating. My tongue licked all the way up her lips as Cindy moaned with pleasure. 

In almost 3 years, she was the first woman I made love to without paying. I hoped the moans and sighs would finally be real, not just sound effects.

My tongue played with her clit for a while. It was hard and erect. I went down and inserted my tongue a good two inches into her slippery vagina. A moan from Cindy told me that I was doing just fine. I licked her up and down gently. Her pussy taste was fabulous. I started to suck and lick as much of her juice as I could, spending much time on her clit. Her legs closed around me, and she came for the first time. For a while, I lost all sense of hearing, but I wasn't done yet.

Knowing that she was still sensitive from her orgasm, I very lightly licked her pussy lips, avoiding her clit for a moment. She calmed down after a while. 

I then went to phase two of good foreplay: I inserted two fingers in her vagina, gently caressing inside her, searching for her G-spot. A tremor shook her body when I found it, and I returned my lips to her clit while I began to put pressure on her G-spot. 

"Oh my God!" she moaned. 

Her fingers were grasping my hair. In a minute she would come again, or I would need some hair implants. She did come, and hard. 

"Christ!... Agh... Oh fuck". Her whole body jumped from the sofa and she started to ejaculate. I was drinking her woman juice as it was flooding from her vagina. 

She finally stopped shaking and pulled me up to her. She kissed me with total abandon, licking her own juice from my face. 

"Wow! That was intense", she said between kisses. 

"Let me take care of you now", she said while removing my shirt. 

She proceeded to take my pants off while spending a few seconds sucking on my cock. Multitasking at its best!

She then got up, took two cushions from the couch and laid them on the floor. 

"Lay there on your back," she said while removing her blouse and bra but keeping her skirt. 

She straddled me, bent down to give me a longing kiss and in one swift motion her hips had my cock buried deep inside her. 

"You like that?" she asked. 

"Oh..." was my only reply. 

It felt so good to feel a wet pussy going up and down on my cock without a condom. I soon joined her motion by adding my own thrusts with my hips. My hands were having a field day caressing, grabbing, and pinching her breasts as they hung down to me. For good measure, my right hand reached toward her pussy and my fingers began a slow caress of her clit. 

She closed her eyes in ecstasy and increased the speed of her humping. Soon she had another orgasm. She threw herself on top of me, her head in the crook of my neck and let out a shriek. Her vagina was pulsing on my cock, clamping on and off for a few seconds. 

She then rolled off me 

"Oh my God! I was the one suppose to take care of you." 

She laid on the floor, still panting from her last climax, reached for my hard rod and gently jack me off. 

"Take me here, on the floor" she said while pulling up her skirt over her tummy and spreading her legs wide for me. 

I rolled off the cushions and climbed on top of her. Still very wet, her vagina took my whole cock without any resistance. She gasped when I pushed all the way in. I started a slow motion of thrusts in and out of her. The warm wetness of her pussy felt so good that I wanted to make it last as long as I could. She didn't seem to mind. Her hands on my buttocks were simply following my motion.

Our mouths hungry for each other, we kissed passionately, and I fucked her for a long time before I could feel my own climax building up. I increased my pace. She felt that I was getting close and answered my harder fucking with her thrusting hips. 

"Yeah, just like that. Fuck me hard. Fill me up with your cum. Yes!" she shrieked at me. 

I was sure she would be sorry tomorrow that she let me fuck her so hard on the floor, but there was no stopping me now. With a final strong thrust, my balls went nuts and I started to shoot my cum in her welcoming pussy. She kissed me hard as I was gasping for air in the intense moment of my orgasm. 

I finally rolled off her, my spent penis coming out of her pussy and letting my teaspoon of jism drain out of her, dripping to the floor. We stayed like that on our backs on the floor for a few minutes. I was covered with sweat and so was Cindy. 

"Wow! Double Wow! Tammy was right. You are quite good at pleasuring a woman... If only my husband would take lessons from you..."

I jumped to my feet. "What?" I asked angrily. "You're married? You don't even wear a ring!"

Cindy reached for me, standing on her knees. She was shocked when I swatted her hand away. 

"Hey, no need to be rude... For the last six years, my marriage has been on and off. Now it's on..." She reached for me again, so I had to take a step back. "...but now that I met you it's off again," she said rubbing her thumb on her ring finger where there was no ring.

I was mad. I was totally pissed at both this cheating whore and Tammy for letting it happened. I reached for the phone and called for a cab. Cindy was now standing, surprised by the development. 

"What's the matter with you?" she asked while I hurriedly dressed. "One minute you fill my pussy with your sperm, and the next you kick me out? That was it? Wham-bam-thank-you ma'am?"

Instead of making me feel guilty, her anger had the reverse effect. I was even more enraged. 

"Dress the fuck up! The cab will be here soon and I want you out of my flat FAST" I yelled at her. 

I felt a surge of temper through my body. I knew that my face would be all red and a frightful sight. Cindy recoiled, then started to dress while she sobbed. 

I regained some composure and tried to speak calmly. 

"I just went through a divorce because my wife was cheating on me so... I just want you out of my face. Now! YOU ARE the worst thing that can happen to a man. So just get out". 

She left in a hurry.

I didn't have to get mad at Tammy because she phoned me the next day to apologize. She didn't know that Cindy was back with her husband. 

"At least one thing I was able to get from Cindy is the fact that you fucked her good. Didn't lose your touch with women, Lover! I'll be more careful next time. Promise!"

She tried, but I refused any more dates for the next few weeks. An important date was coming up on my calendar: Our 25th wedding anniversary would have been in a few weeks. I wasn't able to get it out of my head. 

One evening, totally drunk, I ordered some postcards from Hawaii where we were supposed to go for our second honeymoon. A few days later, when the postcards arrived, I chose one depicting a couple scuba diving among the corals. I wrote our anniversary date and: "Wish you were not a slut. It could've been us!" I put a stamp on it and mailed it.

Three days later, Mary phoned me, really angry. 

"What did you do to Mom again?" she asked incensed. 

"She's been doing real good lately, and now she is crying again. God! Dad, what did you do?" 

How to answer that without revealing what an ass I was? Like it or not, I still cared a lot about what Mary thought about her old man. I didn't see much of her lately, what with her college and friends, but I still wanted to have our cozy evenings together. Well, I thought, the truth may hurt, but it is better than the alternative. 

"Sorry Sweetie that you have to go through this! Yeah... I made a mistake. Do you know that it was 25 years ago yesterday that your Mom and I got married? Well, I couldn't keep it out of my mind, and again I felt real mad at your Mom for wrecking that life. I'm really sorry". 

I told her about the postcard.

"Oh you two! Can't you get a grip and realize that you still are madly in love with each other? You were drunk when you did that, weren't you?" she asked. 

"Yeah!" I acknowledged. 

"Dad, can I have your promise that you will never, ever do anything relating to Mom when you are drunk?" She asked, a bit mollified. 

"For you, and only you, I promise. And I am not the one to break promises in this family," I said. 

"Dad...!" she replied. 

"Oops, sorry!" 

"Never mind", she replied. 

"By the way, I also have good news for you", she said. "David popped the question!"

The rest of the conversation was a bit awkward. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I didn't react well to my 20 year old daughter telling me that she was getting married. Despite all my warnings and recriminations, the fact was that my little girl was getting married in two months.

Another big event happened before that when Vickie finally reached an agreement with the lawyer of my ex-wife's lover. We were suing for half a million and were about to be put on the court docket. When they offered to settle for $150,000 plus my lawyer's fees including the divorce proceedings. 

"Take that and run," was all Vickie said. 

I did, and the next day I called the contractor for my own retirement home. With the slowdown in the economy, he happily agreed to start work the next month. 

I still had mixed feelings about the next two months. On the one hand, I was losing my daughter. I don't think any Dad takes that very well, but hey, they have to leave the nest one day. I learned from Mary that Eileen was feeling the same way. On the other hand, my fabulous retirement home was under construction. For me alone! I had a few drunken evenings during that time, but true to my word, I did nothing to aggravate Eileen. The impulses were mostly gone anyway, and I held in those that came up.

First came the wedding. 

I had to walk my daughter all the way to the priest while not looking so gloomy. At the reception after the wedding, they sat Eileen beside me. We were both by ourselves. David's parents easily sensed the discomfort Eileen and I felt. Not a single word was uttered between us all evening. 

I sensed Eileen looking at me a few times, but I braced myself and avoided her. She looked totally gorgeous in her dark blue dress, and that made it both easier and harder to be around her. More than once I stole a glance at her. What can I say? She was the most beautiful woman in the whole place. She talked, like me, with David's parents, and her wit was as sharp as ever. For Mary, I repressed the urge to get drunk, but it was hard, real hard. I left as soon as Mary made her own exit. How many barbs in the ass a man can take before losing it?

Second came the completion of my lodge, in early December. It was awesome. Three bedrooms, a den for my computer room, one large living room adjoining the dining room, and a big kitchen to let me express my culinary skills. All that was missing was the garage that was supposed to include a couple of workshops for Eileen and me. All that was missing was a loving wife at my side. I terminated the lease on my apartment, bought some furniture and moved in. Leaving real early for work and coming back early or late to avoid traffic, the drive was barely more than an hour. 

That also meant I had to get a grip on my drinking. No cabs would take me that far. The distance was also a hassle on my dating. I shared that with Tammy. I had dated a few times after Mary's wedding but the women I met didn't really take my fancy. Some made it to my bed, but that was as far as they would go, which is not too bad nevertheless. 

Honestly, they all had the same flaw: they were not Eileen. Some as pretty, some as sharp and funny, but I kept comparing them to my ex-wife. Tammy wasn't put off by my reluctance to accept all the dates she arranged, and she kept trying. 

I still have plenty of work to do on myself before I could get on with my life.



A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 06



Over the next months, I went on a few dates but I soon realize that the dating scene wasn't for me. I never felt at ease with these women, not enough to be my self. I wasn't insecure. I was simply not interested. It was harder and harder to put on an act to charm the ladies.

Was I bracing myself for a life alone? Was that what was in store for me in my old age? I didn't know. All I knew was that I was withdrawing. 

I was losing focus on trying to be happy. The only remnants of my former blissful life were my children, but now they were each living their own life. When Mary was still living at home, I had many chances to be with her. But now it seemed that all I could manage was to see her once every two months. I was a bit envious that she was seeing her Mom more often, but living an hour drive from town, it was to be expected that she would not simply stop by on her way home.

At work too I was feeling distant toward my job and my colleagues. Don't get me wrong! Tammy and Mike are two wonderful folks who are nice to be around. But if I was ready to retire at 47, I was now totally fed up with my job near my 52nd birthday. I had furnished my den as a carbon copy of my office at work. And more often than not, I would simply work from home, going in town maybe once or twice a week. 

Without constant interruptions, and saving two hours commute everyday, my work output didn't decline. I was even more productive. It was easier to lose myself on a project, go over every line of programming, and present a glitch-free program to the floor. 

My birthday came and went in a subdued manner. Mark and Mary phoned and I received a birthday card signed by Mary, her husband and Eileen. Seeing her signature on the card didn't even bother me. I had no feeling whatsoever.

One Saturday afternoon in June, I heard a car pull-up in the driveway. I looked, and it was Mary's little car. Overjoyed by that unexpected surprise, I went to meet her on the back deck. Oh, oh! Her face was covered with tears. She ran up the stairs and threw herself in my arm. 

"Oh Daddy!" 

She was crying and more tears were rolling down her cheeks. She tried to put a few words together through her sobbing but it was unintelligible. The only words I caught were "... not ... Mommy". 

Something happened to Eileen? 

On that thought, a wave of fear rolled over me. Feelings I had suppressed for the last five years came flooding back to me. Years of anger were suddenly washed away in that instant vision of Eileen being hurt. Bitterness and resentment were pushed aside by a stronger feeling, the strongest of all, my love for the wife I lost five years ago. All these years I knew without acknowledging it that the height of my anger and the depth of my wound from her betrayal simply reflected the magnitude of the love I felt for her. 

Without that colossal and deep-rooted love for Eileen, all feelings of anger and sadness would have left me sooner than later. In a split second, I realized how unfair I had been with all the other women I dated. They could never compete with my feelings for Eileen that were still very much alive in me. I knew now that I clung to my anger as a twisted way to keep my feelings for Eileen alive. And now I might lose her.

"Did something happen to Mommy? Is... is she hurt?" I asked with tears welling in my eyes.

"No...! It's David. I ... I caught him in bed with a girl" Mary said and resumed crying as she dropped to the floor. 

I sat there with her as much to comfort her as to let my legs go back to normal. They felt like jelly and I was shaking. While hugging Mary I said a few soothing words for her sake and mine.

My cell phone rang. I was tempted to let it ring then decided to look at the display. It was Eileen. I took the call. 

"Hi!" was all I said. I didn't trust my voice not to convey the shredded emotions I still felt.

"Kieran! Something happened to Mary! David just phoned and he is looking all over for her", she said. 

I did sense the panic that must be overwhelming her. I reassured her right away. 

"It's alright Eileen! She's here with me. She's a mess. I'll phone you back later."

"But what happened? What..." she started to say but I interrupted her. 

"No Eileen! I'll call you back as soon as possible. Trust me!".

"I do" was all she said, and she hung up.

I finally convinced Mary to get up and come to the living room. When her crying subsided a bit, I learned the same sad story of a cheating spouse and the crushed heart of the one scorned. 

"Everything will be alright, Baby!" I said. "You have Mom and me to take care of you... after I go and beat the shit out of your husband if you don't mind." 

A weak smile appeared on her face. 

"No need, Daddy! I took care of that. I... I broke granny's nice flower vase, the one she gave me for the wedding. I broke it on his head." 

I looked at her then laughed aloud. I kissed her and hugged her very close. 

"That's my girl!"

She disengaged herself a bit from my embrace and planted a big kiss on me. 

"I am so sorry Daddy!"

"You don't need to be sorry. It's not your fault. It's that asshole husband of yours", I said. 

She looked at me, sadness painted all over her face. 

"No, not that, Daddy! I'm sorry that I didn't understand what you went through when... when". 

I took her again in my arms. "No need for that Baby, it's all in the past." I gently said.

And that was true. For the first time in five years, I was able to let go of my pain, my sorrow, my bitterness, and the betrayal I felt each time I thought about Eileen.

"But I have you and Mom, and we left you all by yourself. I love you Daddy". 

There was no need for words. All she needed was a loving parent by her side while she healed herself.

"Daddy, do you still hate Mom as much as I hate David now?", she asked after a while, thoughtful. 

Not so long ago my answer would have been "Yes, with a passion!" but I wasn't so sure anymore. The emotions I felt when I wrongly assumed that something happened to Eileen were totally revealing. I still cared for the woman, even if I doubted that I could love her as much as before. 

"No Baby! Those feelings go away after a while, a bit at a time. It will be easier for you. You are young. And now your Mom will have to keep busy again chasing the young boys away from the door." 

I was very happy with the little smile that I was able to get.

"Speaking of your Mom" I said, "I'd better call her back. She's worried."

"Do you have to?", Mary asked. "That's why I came here. I knew you would understand. Mom..."

"Don't be silly now girl! Your Mom loves you very much and is probably pacing back and forth in the living-room waiting for my call".

Eileen answered on the first ring. I had to explain what happened, and that I didn't intend to brush her off, but that Mary was a total wreck and needed all my attention. She understood. And she understood too why Mary came to me and not to her. To my own surprise, and probably Eileen's, I didn't indulge in a guilt-provoking tirade, as I would have not so long ago. 

"I think she will need to stay here for a little while, but next week I am going to pick up her stuff at her place and she will be moving back with you. It's best with the college close to your place." I said. "Is that Ok?"

"Yes, it would be best. Tell her to call me. Tell her that I love her very, very much", said Eileen. 

"I will! Bye Eileen! Don't worry about her" I replied.

Young kids are resilient. She still felt betrayed and scorned by her husband, but Mary came back into her own quickly. I finally spent a wonderful week with her, rejects in similar love debacles not of our doing. Hey, we were feeling so good that I even let Eileen hug me when we showed up at her house with Mary's belongings.

After that, I returned to my aimless life.

***

I was driving the young escort back to her apartment in town. She was a regular and didn't mind coming out to my place. I think in a way, she was fond of me and liked the peaceful surroundings of my country estate. She was full of life and always spent at least half a day, and sometimes the night with me. She always took good care of my physical needs.

It started to mist on the way back. The mist turned to rain then to a downpour. I was only minutes away from home. In a curve, a pick-up truck came sliding into my lane. A reflexive turn of my steering wheel caused me to lose control of my car. The last thing I remember was a witty remark: "Fuck!", then the car flew off the road toward some big looming trees.

Eileen

I was on duty that Saturday. With my seniority, it doesn't happen often, but due to the summer vacations, we were short and everybody had to pitch in. I lead by example my reports say. I was in ORL doing my usual administrative tasks when a friend came to me. 

"Eileen, I think you should come down with me", was all she said stiffly. I was puzzled. 'Down' means Admissions or the ER.

There must be an emergency because she went for the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. She was almost running. 

"Hey wait! What's happening?" 

Taking the stairs two at a time, she said "A car crashed off the 129. He's in real bad shape. It's..." she didn't have to finish. "Kieran" I yelled. 

A rush of adrenalin passed through me, sending heat waves to every part of my body. I rushed past her, flying down the stairs. In the Emergency Room, another friend stopped me. 

"Sorry Eileen, you're off-limits. It's Kieran. We don't know yet the extent of his injuries but we fear internal trauma, his anterior rib cage was pretty smashed in. Lung perforated for sure, but we have to open him. Call the kids and I will let you know what we find."

And then another nurse, two orderlies and a doctor came from the ER, pushing a gurney toward the operating room. Despite all the traumas I had witnessed, all the injuries I had help heal, the sight of the bloody mass on the gurney was overwhelming. In a split second, I knew that it was indeed serious. I grabbed my friend for support because my legs were giving out. 

Nurses are either strong or well aware of physics. My friend noticed right away the obvious signs that I was fainting. She grabbed me and in a swift motion helped me to a seat across the corridor.

"I know it's hard for you Eileen, but you have to get a grip. The kids need to know, and they need their Mom. Take a few minutes to recover then start phoning. I'll be back", she said, then went toward the operating room. 

My other friend was by my side. At last, the red film in front of my eyes was going away but I started to hyperventilate. 

"Now, take it easy Eileen. Breath deep and slow! Keep it in, then let go! Again...", she coaxed me into calming down. 

And then I cried. I must have been a sorry sight in the ward. My friend kept telling me to calm down and prepare myself for the kids. She was adamant with the reference to the kids. Old trick! We all do that to focus relatives and friends of trauma patients on something else, something important, or somebody not at risk of dying. I knew it, but it worked. I was still crying and sobbing but back in enough control to ask my friend to get my cell.

It was hard to phone them. I started with the levelheaded Mark. I didn't have to beat around the bush, and within the next minute he was on his way to the airport. It was a bit harder with Mary. Since her marriage problems, her Daddy was everything to her. It had been difficult for me at times when she rightly linked David's behavior to mine, but her Daddy was the most important parent in her life. Very soon, she was in my arms and we were crying together. 

***

Kieran

I felt heavy and totally numb. I remember one time waking up on a bed, with no one around and machines beeping in the background. I wasn't able to turn my head. I tried to focus on the room but was unable to do so. I tried to move but felt a sharp pain running through my chest. "Ow!" Then some one came to the foot of my bed. A nurse! She turned to her left and said " I think he is coming around!" Then I saw Eileen, looking ashen, sick. I passed out again.

***

I opened my eyes again. I was in another room. A nurse was watching the display on a machine. I tried to move my head but I was encased in a brace of sorts and pain shot through my neck. "Ow!" She turned toward me. 

"Well, welcome back among the living...", she looked at my chart. " Mr. O'Malley. I will have the doctor in here pretty soon". 

True to her word, a doctor walked in. I faintly recognized him. I had met him a few times before. 

"Hello Kieran! I am glad to announce that you will recover, but it will be a long process. First with the small injuries! Broken jaw, broken nose, but fortunately you avoided severe head injury. There are many hairline fractures on your tibias, but your femurs took most of the impact. You have a fractured right femur and some damage to your hipbone. It will be a while before you can walk normally. The most painful injuries will probably be your ribs. Some are broken, plus you had a perforated lung, and many cracked ribs. Except for the lung on your left side, the ribs didn't damage any other organ, just tears in soft tissues here and there. And now for the worst... brace yourself... your mechanic said that the car is a total loss" 

He looked at me with a little smile on his lips. " Sorry about that! You have all my sympathy. And now, it's time for a little family procession. One at a time! Good luck in your recovery!"

Soon after, Mary came in. She approached the bed tentatively, then came to hug me cautiously. 

"I was so, SO afraid for you, Daddy!" and she started to cry. 

My arms seemed to be the only limbs that didn't seemed to be fix to the bed, so I gently put my arm around her. God it hurt even moving a bit but nothing too painful. I was filled with painkiller. She cried for the whole minute she was there

Then it was Mark's turn to walk in. 

"Hi old man! You look like shit", he said and came to give me a careful hug. "I don't want to break any more bones". 

I tried to say that I was tougher than that but it came out, with my jaw brace like " I a oug er an at". 

"Oh wow!", he said. "Wait till Mom learns that you can't speak!" He spent his little minute to tease me. 

Eileen came next. Although extremely pale and obviously tired, she looked as lovely as ever. She simply came by my side and took my hand between her two hands. 

"You gave us a fright", she said simply. Then her face crumbled, and tears came flooding out of her eyes. 

"I was so afraid to lose you." 

Funny saying that! I was lost to her five years ago.

She was rubbing my hand on her face, kissing it over and over. 

"I know you don't like when I say it, but I love you so much", she said then bent down and kissed my lips gently. 

A tear fell from her eye onto my face.

Not long after that, the nurse came back, pushed a button on a machine, and I fell asleep.

I stayed two long weeks in the hospital. Mark had to go back to work, but Mary and Eileen were always there. They were in my room every evening and were planning my recovery. I did not have much say about that. Not only because my speaking ability was impeded, but also because you don't interfere with the women's planning in that family. I was not comatose enough not to realize the leap I had just taken, referring to Eileen as part of my family. 

What choice did I have? On the one hand, she was constantly fussing around me, taking liberties with small touches and kisses, and repeating how much she loved me. It was feeling disturbingly good. Many times, I refrained from an urge to return her kisses. On the other hand, completely immobile for the most part, I was at their total mercy.

They achieved quite a feat moving me back home. I was covered in a cast from the waist down and had many layers of soft and rigid supports on my torso. My head was still held in place with a neck-brace and a jaw brace. My nose was still in a stiff bandage. I hurt all over but the worst was the chest pain where my ribs were healing. Many of Eileen's friends were on hand to help me move from the hospital to the guest room in Eileen's house, our former house.

Mark flew back for the occasion. Tammy and Mike were there too with a lot of good wishes from the whole crew at work. Even granny, looking very frail, came and gave me a hug. 

The bedroom was set up like a hospital room. They rolled my wheelchair in and settled me in the bed. Soon, the guests left, even Mark. I was a bit anxious to be sleeping in my old house for the first time in over five years. Also, it is one thing to have a professional help when you pee and defecate; it is another to have your ex-wife and daughter do it. Let's just say, it is embarrassing.

That evening, Mary and Eileen were fussing around me. After a while, when I was feeling a bit groggy, Eileen sent Mary to sleep. She continued to fuss around then she settled down sitting on the bed beside me. 

"You would probably choose to be somewhere else, but please, for the sake of Mary, let me take care of you, let US take care of you" she finally said. 

"But your work", I wanted to say. "u ur ork" 

They became quite adept at deciphering my talk. "Don't worry Honey, I took a leave of absence for a few weeks." 

Unable to do anything, I would have to submit to the girls' will.



A Tale Of Many Mistakes Ch. 07



Thanks for grogers7 for his patient editing of the story. 

*

I lost my body armor one piece at a time. First, the neck brace -- and it felt very good to be able to move my head unimpeded. It cracked a lot with my first few movements, but then, I felt free -- from the upper chest to my lower jaw, that is! 

Then came the nose bandage a few days later. Mary screamed. 

"Daddy, you look awful. Your nose... it's ...it's awful". 

Eileen laughed. "It ain't that bad honey! The swelling will soon go away, and those black purplish yellow colors go very well with the dark rings under his eyes. Don't you think so, Mary?" 

Mary let a little laugh. "He would be awesome in a zombie movie". 

I lifted my arms in front of me and began to move my torso sideways like a zombie. But the joke was on me because pain shot through my chest, and my imitation of a zombie gargling came out as "Ow!" They both laughed which pushed the pain right away from my mind.

The next thing to come off was a real blessing. My jaw brace! At last, I would be able to talk normally. Mary was the first one to give me a careful big kiss. 

"Can you talk now?" she asked. 

I stretched my jaw again. 

"Finally! At last, I can tell you that I have had an awful itch right in the middle of my back for the last 3 weeks," I said. 

Mary's mouth gaped. "Oh Daddy I am so sorry. I..." 

I started to giggle. "Just kidding, kiddo! Just kidding!" 

Feigning indignation, she gently swatted my shoulder with a backhand, just like her mother. "Oh you!"

I grabbed her and planted a big kiss on her. 

"Mary," I said, "the only thing I have to say for the last weeks is Thank you, Thank you, and more Thank you!" And then more kisses followed in which she took great delight.

Eileen then approached the bed. We were a bit awkward. Sensing that, Mary left the room. I reached out and took her hand. We stayed like that without uttering a word. I was overwhelmed by conflicting emotions. Guilt and gratitude were at the front of the pack. But also, a feeling I had lost was coming back in full. Free to finally speak, I didn't know what to say. I loved Eileen. I had never loved anyone as much, and probably never would. 

Her hand was shaking. I squeezed it tighter for a second. Like me, tears appeared in her eyes. 

"So? Lost your voice?" she finally said. 

"I have too many words, and they are fighting for a chance to get out." I simply said.

"What about a Thank you to start with?" she replied.

"Not without a kiss!" I said. 

She hesitated a bit then put her lips to mine. My hand went to her neck, and I kept her there so our kiss would last longer. I opened my sore jaw, and our kiss got more intense. Then I pushed her head a few inches from my face and looked in her wonderful green eyes. I had looked at them many times over the last few years but never with the same longing for her that I now felt. I had sensed the same love and need emanating from her. But all these years I had blocked it easily, as wrapped as I was in my emotional pain. I didn't want that now. I wanted to please her wonderful eyes, to have them full of life and love again.

"I love you, never stopped loving you", I said with some difficulty. 

My throat was feeling as constrained as when I had the jaw brace. It wasn't exactly the result I expected, but I should have. Tears came flooding freely from her eyes, dripping on my face.

"Oh Kieran, I love you, I love you, I love you so much", she answered haltingly through her tears of joy and relief. 

And she kissed me, hungrily with a passion rooted in five years of frustrations, pain, hatred, guilt, love and more pain. 

I think we kissed for the next whole hour. We had five years of lost kissing to make up to. All symptoms of bodily pain left me in that hour. Five years of pain were erased in one real moment of truth.

***

It took a while for my body to recover, but it was way faster than Eileen and I recovered our relationship. After two months without all the casts and braces, I was ready to move back to my house. I would need crutches to move around for a few weeks, but I was far from being an invalid. 

There were, however, a few problems that arose from my project to move back to my house. 

First and foremost, I had no wheels. My insurance was covering the loss, but I still had to go and get a car. Even if I had accepted Eileen's offer to drive me home, it was near impossible for me to stay at the country house without a set of wheels. The day after that realization, I had a rental parked in Eileen's driveway. My departure was inevitable, and it made the atmosphere in the house at bit gloomy.

Second, my girls! Mary was miserable when I announced my decision to move the next day. She didn't want me to move away. Taking care of me had really helped her to cope with her own divorce, to focus on something other than her own pain. I was a means to her own sanity, but I believed that she was mending quickly now. I knew Eileen would still be there for her, and she knew quite well that her Mom and I had come a long way in mending our own relationship. To see me leaving hurt her. It meant a return to our previous estrangement, and perhaps, animosity. I had to reassure her when Eileen wasn't around.

"Listen Baby, over the last few months I realized two things: One is that I always loved your Mom, but my wounds were too great to overcome and let that love back to the surface. I know you understand now that the pain of her betrayal will always be there, at least as a memory. I will never forget that. And I don't know if I can forgive her. My home is not here anymore, and your Mom is not part of my home either. I don't know what will come of the peace we made, but it feels good to be at peace with your Mom. I cherish it as much as I cherish the time I spent with you." 

I must have been convincing because she didn't say a word and simply jumped in my arms, sobbing and hugging me real hard. 

"Goodbye then, if you must go! But I know she loves you very much", she hiccupped to me. 

It wasn't as easy with Eileen. We were really ill at ease with each other. I waited for Mary to go to bed before I had a quiet talk with Eileen. Like every evening, she was the consummate nurse asking about my different body signals, "using her expertise as a way to touch my body all over", I quipped. We had reached a compromise in our conflicted feelings, and little sexual innuendos were part of it. She smiled, but she kept silent while continuing her ministrations. Finally, her lovely green eyes full of sadness, she turned to me and broached the subject.

"So you leave tomorrow." It was a quiet statement, not a question. "What... what will happen to us?" I sensed she wanted to say more, to express her own desires on the matter, but she didn't. 

We let the silence grow between us.

I wasn't all that sure what I wanted to say. I had to think a bit more about the concept of "Us". I knew she meant her and me, and Mary. 

"Is there an 'us', Kieran?" she finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Not now. There is no 'us', now. That's broken! It's been broken for the last 7 years." She winced when I answered her.

"Can 'we' be mended?" she asked, almost in a whisper.

"I don't have the answer to that."

"But isn't there love again?" she said, finally looking at me

"Yes there is, but there is more: There is still pain and fear." I said after a few seconds of silence.

"Fear?" she asked

"Yes, pain and fear of betrayal and lies. Lies hurt more, way more. The betrayal was in all the lies that lasted so long. I still hurt from them. The sex didn't matter as much. We had sex with another couple. We didn't go very far, but we had sex. But we did it together, in the open, without lying. It was a mistake, but a common mistake."

"Yeah. I agree. It makes a difference."

"Can a liar be trusted again?"

"But what if the liar is really ashamed? Repentant?"

"How can someone believe that?" I said with a bit of rancor.

"Would you believe it if she told you that she was faithful all these years without you? Waiting for you!"

"Would it be a lie?"

She shrugged. "Can't prove it, can't disprove it." 

"But there is love! It has always been there from me, and I think you love me again." Eileen softly stated, her look full of hope.

"Yes, I love you, and I know you love me" I agreed.

Tentatively, she slid closer to me on the couch, her hand taking mine, and her head resting on my shoulder.

"Can't deny that anymore!" I finally added.

"What else do we need? Forgiveness?"

"Is it possible? Forgive what?" I asked.

"The sex or the lies?" she countered.

"The betrayal and the lies." I finally said. "Can they be forgiven? Can the loss of five years be forgiven? Five years when I hurt everyday. Five years when I felt less than a man. Five years when only my kids kept me going."

We stayed silent for a while.

"I would have a hard time forgiving it." Eileen finally said. "Neither can it be forgotten."

"Never forgotten!"

"But to love each other, isn't that a beginning?"

I took a few moments to ponder the question. "A beginning to what?"

"To a second chance!"

"What kind of second chance would that be, without forgiveness, without any chance to forget? We would simply return to the possibility of lies again! Love was there, strong and fulfilling, to protect us, I thought. Then came the lies! Why trust love again?"

"Can you live without it?" Eileen asked.

"Yes, but it's a shitty life!" I had to admit.

"Is there another love waiting somewhere?" she inquired.

"Probably, but the chances of finding a love as deep as ours are slim." I said, deflated.

"I know."

"I don't know if we can start over? If we can find the same passion?"

"Can we rekindle that great spark? Or is it too much to ask, Kieran? It may be too much, but can we live happily without each other? I can't!"

"Me neither!"

"Can we start slow?" Eileen asked.

"Like just friends? And see what develops?" I pondered a few seconds. "It's possible, I guess!"

"It's not as fulfilling, but I could live with that, Kieran -- if it means that you can be still a part of my life, even if I destroyed what we had. I would never give up on any chance of being with you. But... But I love you so much, can you deal with that?"

"I need it!"

"What kind of friends share kids between them?"

"Close friends! Friends with history"

"Like fuck friends?"

"That's where we started."

"What if I made good on that offer?"

"I've been waiting for so long."

And we made love; gingerly because my ribs were still hurting, but with a longing anchored in five long years of frustrations. And it helped that I believed in five years of Eileen's faithfulness, five years without a lover.

Epilogue

I moved back to my house. I still have a few contracts with my former employer, but I am now officially retired. Mary and Eileen were frequent visitors, especially at the beginning because of my limited mobility. At first, they stayed in the guest bedrooms, but after many visits, Eileen would always wake up in my bed. And then she started to share my bed. That delighted Mary, and led to no end of teasing from her.

We took it easy at first. To be forthright, I took a while to revert to who I was before her betrayal. Part of me wanted to bask in our renewed love, and another part constantly rebelled, unable to forget the pain. Day after day, week after week, and month after month, Eileen had to cope with my mood swings. One moment I was the loving boyfriend, and the next I reverted to a cold untrusting mate. Eileen took it all in stride. 

I knew that her unshakable faith in me was her way to apologize and repent for her prior unfaithfulness, a behavior anchored in shame. 

Many times we ended up crying together without need of explanation, knowing that we were both hurting from the time lost and the love we were trying to reclaim.

Many times, I was close to quitting and calling off our renewed relationship. A few times, I even chased her out of the house, then called her back and apologized. Her answer was always the same: "No apology needed!"

For instance, one Friday evening we had agreed that Eileen would come over right after work to spend the weekend. Caught in a rush at the hospital, she arrived 90 minutes later than expected. I was a wreck. Too many bad memories came rushing back, and I was on a short fuse. Eileen responded with her usual loving patience and delicate attention to my mood. Her love put me back in a good mood until later, when I found myself with my face inches from her pussy. As hard as I was, and as much as I wanted to, I was unable to lick her. I lost my erection. We didn't make love. She cried in my arms.

We were trying not to complicate things, but when Mary finally moved in with a new boyfriend (Hey girl! Try him out before you decide to go further), Eileen asked me if she could sell her house and move in permanently with me. I said no.

A few months later, I changed my mind.

With part of the proceeds from the sale of her house we built the garage for her studio, and it is real good to know that Eileen is up there creating a new painting. She also retired, and we often travel around the country and the world to find new inspirations for Eileen's art. And that's the way it was suppose to be. 

I have to admit that our love never totally recovered. It's a shadow of what it was. I love her, but I am not in love with her. However, the love we share now is strong and much better than anything we could have found elsewhere, if at all. I don't know if the future will change that, but I think it might. Eileen is trying hard to rekindle it. Sometimes I will fake a response when I see her despair that we can regain some of our passion -- even if, deep inside I feel it is still broken. 

Guess what? It becomes easier to fake and enjoy the moment with the passage of time. Those moments when the sight of Eileen leaves me breathless and happy to be with her are getting more frequent. Her expressions of love and passion are more and more welcome. I feel there is some hope. 

Yes, I did apologize to Granny for my argument with Hike when he revealed his cancer, but she and Eileen had already agreed that it was not my intent to actually wish him dead. She made it easy for me by saying "I always knew you two would get back together. You are too good a man for me to think otherwise. I helped her to have faith in you, even after that evening."

Eileen and I haven't remarried. What's the meaning of a piece of paper? We love each other, we live together and we are growing old together. In the end, that's all I ever wanted!