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A House Divided Ch. 01

By: coaster2



Ch. 01: I don't want to hear what I don't want to hear!

I remember the day that it all started to come apart. My wife, Jo, had come home earlier than usual and she had a look of excitement about her that I hadn't seen before. She virtually bounced into the house, coming in from the garage, through the laundry room and into the kitchen; our normal family meeting room at almost any time of the day. I was standing by the refrigerator having just extracted a beer when she arrived, wrapping her arms around me, and giving me a big kiss and a strong squeeze.

"Guess what happened to me today?" she chirped.

"You won the lottery." I kidded.

"No, but almost as good." she gushed.

"Wow, what could it be?" I said with exaggerated curiosity.

"I have been offered a big promotion. I mean a really big promotion. You're talking to the next V.P. of Market Development ... tah tah!" she cried with hands spread wide in a "look at me" gesture. 

"That's great honey." I said sincerely. "You've earned it with all the hard work and long hours you've put in."

"Oh Mark, it means a huge salary with bonuses and even stock options. I've really hit the big time. God, it feels great." she enthused. 

"Well." I said. "This calls for a celebration!" I went to the wine closet and took out a bottle of a very good Cabernet that I'd been saving for a special occasion. This clearly qualified. "When do you start?"

"Well, that's a bit complicated." Jo said with a less enthusiastic tone. "I haven't accepted the job yet. I have to give them an answer by next Monday." she explained.

"Well, it doesn't sound like that's a tough decision, Jo. What's the complication?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"Uh ... the job is in Chicago." she said quietly.

"Oh ... yah ... that is a complication." I agreed.

"I've given it some thought, Mark. You can move your agency to Chicago and we can move there in a month or so." she said tentatively.

"When did you have time to give it some thought, Jo? On the way home this afternoon?" I'm sure she could detect the irritation in my voice.

"Oh, Mark. Be happy for me. This is huge. I'll be making more money than I ever dreamed of. I'll have a big staff and all kinds of perks."

"Jo, this is our home. We've lived here almost since we've been married. I've spent twenty plus years building my agency. Surely you remember those days. We worked our asses off to make a go of it. I can't just walk away from it." I must have sounded pleading or even a bit desperate. I had to make her see that it wasn't just as simple as pulling up stakes and heading off to Chicago.

"You can start a new agency in Chicago, honey. You've got lots of time to do that. What's even better, money won't be a problem. I'll be making more that enough to let you get it up and running." Now she was pleading. 

"Jo, I think we need to discuss this more thoroughly. It's going to have a big effect on us. It isn't as simple as just picking up and leaving Minneapolis. This is our home. This is where we grew up. This is where our kids were born. It just isn't that simple." 

"I have to give them a decision by Monday. That gives you five days to make up your mind, Mark." She was using a tone of voice that I didn't like very much. It was more like I was being an obstacle to her ambition and I had better get out of the way.

I didn't say anything for a few moments; taking a couple of pulls on my near empty beer as I thought about the implications of this conversation. My wife Joanne was being given an enormous opportunity for advancement. She had only gone back to work six years ago when our daughter was firmly ensconced in school at age nine. She had risen rapidly in the local office and was earning almost as much annually as my insurance agency was generating for me. We had no money worries at all. We had paid off the mortgage, had a substantial college fund for our two children and we were able to take wonderful vacations. In short, we had what I would have described as the perfect life.

Jo and I were still sexually active. We were in our mid forties, but both of us had maintained a reasonable level of fitness and to be honest, Jo was still a very attractive woman as I was constantly reminded when we were out with other people. We had, I thought, a great marriage and it went without saying that I thought each of us was deeply in love with the other. Jo's last remark about her decision and my need to make up my mind hit me like a punch to the solar plexus. 

"Jo, don't you have it backwards?" I replied carefully. "This isn't my decision, it's yours. I wasn't offered the job, you were."

"Fine." she said abruptly. "I've decided to accept the job." 

There was a long silence in the kitchen. Finally, I said: "Do you care what I think?"

"Of course I do. You're my husband. We always make decisions together ..." Her voice had trailed off as she realized what she had said.

"Jo, my agency isn't portable. It's based on referral business and my twenty years of associations and relationships in this town. That's not something I can just put in a briefcase and take to Chicago. It would mean having to start all over again. Do you remember how hard that was?" I asked seriously.

"Yes, I remember. But you don't have to do that anymore. You don't even have to work if you don't want to. My salary will look after us all with no loss in family income." She had convinced herself that my business was not an obstacle. "You can sell your agency. You can do something else. You don't have to sell insurance for the rest of your life."

"Did it ever occur to you that I like what I do? Have you forgotten that all that work in past was rewarded with loyal clients and many good friends. Are they that easy to dismiss?"

"Don't start laying a guilt trip on me, Mark." She had raised her voice for the first time. I could tell she was getting frustrated that I wasn't going along with her grand plan as easily as she had hoped. "I'm going to go have a shower. I suggest we go out to dinner tonight. I don't feel like cooking." With that she turned and, I want to say, almost stomped out of the kitchen. 

I needed time to think. She didn't have to give them an answer until Monday, but it was now becoming clear she had already made up her mind. My mind was reeling. I couldn't come to terms with what the implications for our family, our marriage, our life together might be. This was a bigger crisis than I had ever faced before. I really didn't know what to do. I really needed time to think.

-0-

I had been an aimless youth when I enrolled as a freshman at the University of Minnesota, but somewhere along the line I had been bitten by the Business Administration bug and by the second year, I knew what I wanted to study. I was also a virgin when I graduated from High School; not something I was likely to brag about. I lost my virgin status that first year at U.M. with a somewhat plain young lady who had chosen me at a social mixer and had decided that she badly needed sex that particular evening. She was not a virgin, although I wouldn't have known the difference. She had earlier consumed copious amounts of punch and somehow had selected me to be her personal erection of the evening. She dragged me to her aging automobile (I suspect this truly was her father's Oldsmobile) and we consummated our brief romance in the back seat. It was done and over with in a matter of a couple of minutes and she promptly fell asleep. I did the gentlemanly thing and rearranged her clothes, laid her in a more comfortable position and left, locking the doors behind me. I have no recollection of her name whatsoever. And such was my introduction to Sex and the University; Chapter One.

During the next four years, I was considerably more socially active. I found my studies to be largely unchallenging and I had no trouble maintaining an acceptable grade in my courses. That left me a good deal of free time to take advantage of the social opportunities with the many attractive young females on campus. I took this responsibility quite seriously and had a very happy and comprehensive sex education during that period.

I met Joanne Thorlakson shortly after I had graduated from the University of Minnesota. My hometown was Eden Prairie and she was from nearby Apple Valley, a few miles to the south-east. Both were smaller, more countrified suburbs of Minneapolis and the experience of going to University in the big city was both enlightening and, for me, somewhat intimidating. Joanne was pure Nordic beauty; flaxen haired blonde, cornflower blue eyes, lightly freckled fair complexion and a sturdy, if not voluptuous 5 foot 7 inch frame. To me, she was dazzling and I set about capturing her from the moment I first saw her. 

I was a junior clerk at a national insurance agency in Bloomington, barely a year into my first job and she worked as a secretary in an office building just down the street. I first saw her in the small diner I frequented at lunch as well as on the occasional coffee break and I knew I wanted to meet her. When I saw her alone at a small table one morning, I sucked up my courage and walked over and said hello and introduced myself. She had one of those killer smiles that can reduce a guy to silly putty in half a second and I must have sounded like a compete idiot for a few seconds until I recovered from our first encounter. The girl obviously either didn't notice or didn't care and within a few minutes we were chatting away about our hometowns and school experiences and our jobs. I learned that she ate lunch a half hour after I did, so I arranged to switch with another junior to get a later lunch. We seemed to hit if off and when I asked her for a date, she readily agreed and thus began my courtship of my future wife.

It didn't happen quite that quickly, mind you. The salary of a junior in the insurance agency was pitiful and it wasn't until I had a territory and was earning some commissions as a sales representative that I was able to feel somewhat financially secure. I discovered I liked selling insurance. Yes, I know, somebody has to like it or no one would do it; but somehow, I enjoyed the job and as a result, I did quite well. As my career progressed, so did my relationship with Joanne. We had been 'going steady' for a couple of years and had finally progressed to where we were having sex once in a while. For a guy who had feasted on a steady diet during my college years, the past three years had been a massive drought! Joanne was very innocent and yet willing and our sex life progressed through the usual back seat stages to more adventuresome weekends at my tiny bed-sitting room. I never had the sense that she wanted to date anyone else and despite the fact that I had virtually given up sexual relations in order to be with her, I didn't even consider dating anyone else. It seemed we were destined to be together. 

At the end of my second year of sales I received a very nice bonus for hitting all my targets and exceeding a few as well. I sucked up my courage, bought a ring and asked Joanna to marry me. I was delighted when she said yes without a second's hesitation. I was 26 years old and she a year younger. I was on top of the world and I knew it could only get better and I was right. Within two years we had saved enough money for a down payment on a lovely older home in Eden Prairie and we set about fixing it up in our spare time and on the weekends. Both of us continued to work until a year later when Jo became pregnant with our first child. Our son, Peter, was born the day before our fourth anniversary and our daughter Lindsay, two and a half years later. My career continued to progress steadily and Jo was able to quit her job and be home with the children. We were living the American Dream; a house in the suburbs, two kids, two cars; we had it all. 

When Peter entered Junior High School, Jo said she wanted to go back to work; specifically to work in an advertising agency that was setting up a branch office in Bloomington. She had studied Advertising, Marketing and Promotion in Junior College and there was a junior position available to her. We discussed the work roles around the household and it was agreed that with some changes in our routine, Jo would try this new career. She was just approaching her fortieth birthday and she was, in my opinion, even more beautiful than when I married her. She had kept herself in shape with exercise and discipline and with her renewed self confidence, I was sure she could succeed in this new venture, and of course, I was right. She more than succeeded; she rocketed to the top of her group in the Bloomington office and several times was offered a transfer to a larger office. She turned them all down, stating her commitment to the family as the reason. In the meantime, my clientele had matured and my income began to stabilize. I was earning more than we needed to live on and with Jo's salary, we had been able to fix up the old house to an almost fully restored state, put money away for the kids' education and live very comfortably. And then, Jo decided to go for the big brass ring!

-0-

The kids took a pass on going out to dinner that night and I was just as happy. Pete had a baseball game and Lindsay was happy with a small frozen pizza and a salad. I was hoping that Jo and I could avoid the topic of her promotion, but I guessed that it was too heavy a subject to ignore. I was not looking forward to this dinner. I went upstairs to our bedroom to shower and change. Jo was sitting on the bed putting in her earrings and looked spectacular as always. 

"Where would you like to go tonight?" I asked in the brightest tone I could muster.

"I don't know. You choose. Just so long as it isn't noisy." she said in a somewhat snappish voice.

"How about La Trattoria? It's usually pretty quiet on a weeknight and the foods always great." 

"Fine." End of conversation. 

I undressed to my shorts and went into the ensuite, closing the door quietly behind me. The mood in the bedroom wasn't very celebratory and I suspected that dinner might be more of the same. Jo had decided to sulk; something I hadn't seen her do in a long time. I spent a little extra time in the shower to try and get a grip on my emotions and see if I couldn't find a way out of this mess. Unfortunately, no fresh inspiration came my way. I toweled off and dressed in slacks and a collared shirt with sport jacket and headed downstairs. I hadn't bothered with a reservation since it wouldn't be busy at 6:30 on a Wednesday evening.

We drove to the restaurant in silence and I had a feeling of dread creeping up on me. The only way to get past this was to have Jo talk it out. Let her see if she could put a plan together that wouldn't tear the family structure apart. I was remembering a management course my company had sent me on many years ago and the main lesson I took from it was not to take on someone else's burden. If it's their monkey on their back, they should deal with it. Right now, that's how I felt about Jo's promotion.  

We were seated immediately and I ordered our usual two Manhattans, straight up. Jo still hadn't said anything and was now avoiding eye contact with me. I waited until the cocktails arrived and I raised my glass toward her: "Well, congratulations again, Jo." I said it with a smile, hoping I'd get a response.

She looked at me for a moment and raised her glass to mine. "Thanks."

I waited a few more moments in silence before I knew I had to beard the lion.

"You don't seem very happy. Are you sure you want to be here?" I asked

She stared at me before answering. "You didn't exactly jump for joy over this announcement, did you?" 

"No, I guess I didn't. I wasn't prepared for it for one thing. I don't think you were either. I don't think you've had time to think through what this means to all of us. You've had a massive surprise boost to your ego and you've been overwhelmed. I'm guessing that when you've had time to absorb it all, you'll see some of the things that I see." I had spoken in an even and quiet tone.

Jo stared vacantly at her cocktail glass and seemed lost in thought. "It seems pretty simple to me, Mark. I've been offered an important job and you don't want me to take it."

"Jo, don't put words in my mouth. All I asked you to do was to think about the affect that this move would have on all of us. It isn't as simple as just pulling up stakes and moving." I tried desperately to keep my voice even and rational.

"I want you to do the same thing, Mark." she said forcefully. "I want you to try and find a way to make this work for me. It's that important."

Thump! There it was, the monkey was on my back. 

"And if I can't?" I asked.

"I don't know. I'll have to think about what that means for us."

"Are you suggesting that you'd sacrifice our marriage for this?" I asked incredulously.

"Mark, I'm not hungry. I want to go home. This was a bad idea. I'm not in the mood and this isn't a celebration."

I put a twenty dollar bill on the table and we left quietly. The drive home was as silent as the drive to the restaurant and when we got there Jo went directly to our bedroom and closed the door.

Lindsay had witnessed our arrival and looked at me curiously.

"What's wrong with mom?"

"She a bit upset right now, princess. She had a big surprise at work today."

"What kind of surprise?" she asked innocently.

"Well, they offered her a new job but it's in another city. It's complicated. We'll talk about it tomorrow, OK?" I tried to keep my tone nonchalant and not raise any alarm with our daughter.

When Jo didn't reappear by nine, I went upstairs and carefully opened the bedroom door. She was lying on the bed facing away from me and seemingly asleep. She was still fully dressed from our abortive restaurant trip. I went back downstairs to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich and washed it down with a beer. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake the deep sense of foreboding I was feeling about this whole issue. I had to hope that Jo would be more rested and willing to talk tomorrow. I had no idea if she was planning to go to work, but if she didn't, I would stay home as well and we could begin to work on a solution for our dilemma.

I slept in the guest room, assuming Jo would be more comfortable by herself. I rose at my usual hour of seven after a fitful night's sleep. Jo was already in the kitchen, dressed in her work outfit. I poured a coffee.

"You're obviously going to work today." I said.

"Yes, I've got a lot to do. A lot of things have to be taken care of before ..."

"Yes, I'm sure you do. Am I to assume that we have nothing more to discuss?"

"Don't be snarky with me, Mark!" she snapped.

"Well, I can see a night's sleep hasn't tempered your opinion of me." I shot back.

"I'm ... sorry. I shouldn't have ... I didn't sleep very well." she said not looking at me. "We'll talk when I get home tonight. Maybe my head will be a little clearer then." she offered.

"Sure. That'll be fine. Don't you think we need to sit down with the kids and talk to them about this as well?"

"I think we need to get the big stuff out of the way before we can deal with them, Mark. I don't mean they're not important, I just mean ... oh, hell, I don't know what I mean." She finished her coffee, gave me a peck on the cheek and walked to the garage without another word.

She was clearly stressed out very badly over this. I was beginning to get the impression that only now was the implications of her decision starting to dawn on her. If I needed time to think, she needed it too. I just hoped she wouldn't make any rash decisions before she had that chance.

As I lay in bed last night, I realized I needed a fresh pair of eyes to help me with this problem. Someone whose judgment I trusted, someone who was a good listener and most importantly, someone who wasn't too close to us to have previously formed opinions. That someone had to be Dave Wainwright. Dave was the area supervisor for one of the insurance companies that I represented. They were specializing in industrial technology insurance and they were pioneers in the field. I had known Dave for just over three years, but in that time we had become good friends and I really enjoyed his common sense approach. He had only met Joanna once and that was at a social gathering I had organized for my top clients and my suppliers. I hoped Dave would be available to give me some of that common sense guidance. 


A House Divided Ch. 01



As luck would have it, Dave was out of town, but due back tomorrow, Friday afternoon. I left a message on his phone to call me and I hoped I would hear from him before it was too late. I had boiled down my real alternatives to two: Don't go and risk dissolving the marriage or Go, knowing that it would mean the end of my business and the loss of our lovely home. I had no illusions about selling the business. I would have to virtually shepherd a new owner through the client and supplier list and make sure they would be able to convert my customers to their agency. There was no guarantee that they would be successful at this conversion. I would have to choose a potential buyer very carefully. The value of the business was my client list. How would someone else view that value? My only equity was my reputation. That was not for sale.

I realized I had to think first and foremost about my marriage and our children. While I viewed Jo's decision as selfish; it might be said that I was being selfish if I refused to support her to protect my status quo. It didn't matter what I did, somewhere along the line there was going to be some hurt. I finished my coffee and headed for the garage and off to work. 

I didn't concentrate very well that particular Thursday. I was unable to shake the two doomsday scenarios from my mind. Go or Stay. Stay or Go. I spent a bit of time looking for an unsolicited letter of interest I had received a couple of years ago. One of the big boys was sniffing around, suggesting they might be interested in buying me out. I had no interest at the time, but it wouldn't hurt to remind myself who they were and take note of the contact. It took me an hour or so, but I finally found it. I put it in my briefcase and tried to get back to my daily routine. By three that afternoon, I gave up, put the phone on call-forward and headed home.

Jo arrived just before six; pretty much her normal time. She seemed in a better mood and I was hoping that we could have a more rational discussion after dinner. I couldn't see any more options than the two I had already identified. Both Pete and Lindsay were home tonight, so if we wanted to let them in on what was going on, this would be the night. Friday was baseball for Pete and Lindsay usually hung out with her friends on Friday's until curfew at ten. Saturday was no better and leaving it until Sunday was pushing things to the limit. 

"How was your day?" I asked.

"Busy. Too much to do in too short a time. How about you?"

"Not very productive. I was pretty distracted. I left early and came home."

She looked at me, probably wondering what I was thinking. "We should talk after dinner." she said.

"I agree. I also think we need to tell the kids what's going on. The're going to be out tomorrow and you know what Saturday is like. Sunday would be leaving it very late."

"OK. We can at least fill them in on the basics." she said a bit more positively. 

Our evening meal was a lot more sociable than the previous night's and the kids kept the conversation light and moving.

"Family meeting after dishes tonight, gang." Jo announced.

Pete and Lindsay looked up with questioning glances at their mother and then me.

"What's up?" Pete asked.

"We'll talk about it then." Jo said firmly. She didn't leave room for further discussion. 

Shortly after the dishes were washed and put away, I rounded up Pete and Lindsay and we all met in the kitchen. It was our traditional place for 'family meetings', although I don't think we'd ever had one with the implications of this one.

'Your meeting, mother." I said.

Jo looked at me and turned toward our children. "I have been offered a very important job with the agency. I will be a Vice President of Market Development for the whole corporation. It's something I didn't expect and I have to give the company an answer on Monday morning."

"Wow, that sounds great mom." Pete enthused. "When do you start?"

"Right away, but ... there's a catch. I ... I mean ... we would have to move to Chicago." she said uncertainly.

Lindsay's eyes opened wide. "You mean we'd have to move? Oh no, I can't. I don't want to. Do I have to go too?" she asked in a plaintive voice.

"Of course you would. Don't be silly. Lots of people move to different cities." Jo was being dismissive of Lindsay's concerns. I thought it was time to temper the conversation.

"Well, obviously, we wouldn't be moving until the school year was done at the earliest." I offered.

"Are you just going to go and leave us mom?" Lindsay asked, tears beginning to form.

"Of course not.! I'll be home on the weekends until you finish school and we can find a new home." she said abruptly.

"Are you going to be around for my graduation?" Pete asked, not looking at his mother.

"What kind of a question is that?" she spat. "Of course I will!"

"I guess that means I won't be going to U. of M. then." Pete said sadly, looking at me.

"Don't get too far ahead of yourself, Pete. We can discuss these kinds of things as time goes on. Nothing is written in stone yet." I said quietly in what I hoped was a conciliatory voice. 

"Your father's right. None of that is important right this minute. There are other more important things to consider." she said offhandedly.

"Like what." Pete snapped.

"Like what happens to your father's business. Like selling this house. Like finding a new house. Like that!" She had increased her volume and shortened her temper all at the same time.

"Let's all take a breather." I suggested. "This is a stressful situation and I know it's going to be hard on everyone. It can't be helped." I had hoped this would diffuse some of the building hostility I could feel in the room. I walked to the fridge and pulled out the water jug. "Anyone want some water?" No answer. I poured myself a glass and returned to the table.

"Look, we can't know all the answers tonight. There's a lot to be decided yet and we'll need time to sort it all out. We just wanted you to know that your mother has been given an amazing offer of promotion and that means changes for us no matter what. Don't go getting all knotted up over it just yet, OK?" It was my best effort toward diluting the tension.

"Your father's right. Let's just sleep on it and see what happens next." Jo said more optimistically. 

The meeting adjourned but I wasn't sure our son and daughter were very convinced that everything was going to be OK. The rest of the evening went more normally. Jo and I watched a bit of TV until our regular bedtime and we went through our normal routine preparing for bed. 

As we lay beside each other in the dark, I knew neither of us would be asleep anytime soon. The turmoil and tension had returned from the previous day and I knew we would have to talk about it. Surprisingly, it was Jo who opened up.

"You handled the meeting really well, Mark. Thank you. I was close to losing it for a minute." she confessed.

"They're scared, Jo. They don't know what to expect and it's all a surprise. They haven't had any time to absorb it." I explained. "Unfortunately, neither have we." I continued.

"I know. I can't think of how to make this work for both of us. They haven't given me any time to try and work out a solution." She was speaking quietly and I could hear the concern in her voice. "I'm afraid Mark."

"Of what, Jo?" 

"Of us ... our marriage." She was close to tears. "This isn't going to be easy no matter what we decide."

"What would happen to your career if you turned down the promotion?" I asked

"Nothing, I guess. We'd just go on as before." There was a silence for a moment. "Are you asking me to turn this job down?"

"I wouldn't do that to you, Jo. It's your decision. I just want to make sure you think about all the consequences that come from this decision, no matter what you decide."

"There aren't any consequences if I turn it down." she said softly.

"Yes there are. You'd be disappointed and you'd always wonder 'what if'."

"Why did you ask me then?" she asked, her head turning toward me.

"I wanted you to understand that no matter what, there are always after effects. They can't be avoided."

"I suppose." she sighed wearily.

"I left a message for a friend of mine; you might remember him; Dave Wainwright." There was no response from Jo. "He's always someone I can count on for common sense advice. Maybe he can see something I can't that will help us out of this problem."

"When do you expect to talk to him?" she asked unenthusiastically.

"Maybe tomorrow night or Saturday."

We fell silent for a while. I knew she was wide awake, just as I was. 

"I'm going to take the job, Mark. If you love me, you'll find a way to make it work." she said in a quiet level voice.

Kerblammo! The monkey on my back had just turned into a gorilla.

"I guess there isn't much more to be said then." I said sadly.

"Do you love me, Mark." she asked with what sounded like tears. "You know I love you."

"Of course I do. Why would you think anything else?"

She turned toward me and her arm pulled me toward her as she kissed me. There was a desperate sense about her implied passion and it was clear she wanted me to make love to her to prove ... something. I loved her deeply and that would never change, no matter what she decided. I could only hope she truly loved me and was prepared for the future that would test that love to its breaking point.

We made love in a slow and almost sad way; as if we were already parting. I could feel and taste the tears she was shedding and I was close myself to joining her. When we had finished and we lay in each others arms, I had a sense that it would be a long time before we would share this intimacy again. 

-0-

On Friday morning I was up a little earlier than Jo and I had awoken with the realization we had not discussed the move with our parents. Jo's parents still lived near Apple Valley and mine were still in Eden Prairie. They were used to seeing us on a regular basis and the thought of their only two grandchildren moving several hundred miles away would not be easy to accept. When Jo walked into the kitchen I suggested we each call our own parents and she readily agreed. She said she would phone her parents from her office today and I told her I would do the same with my folks. 

I had slept better than I expected considering I now knew my fate. Jo was taking the job and it was my decision on how to handle this change. She had successfully shifted the responsibility onto my shoulders and there wasn't a thing I could do about it that wouldn't result in chaos. I truly loved her, so now it was up to me to find a way to live with this major change in our lives. 

I phoned Mom and Dad just after ten Friday morning and broke the news to them. Dad immediately understood the implications of the decision and asked a number of direct questions about my business. I did my best to be optimistic to both of them, but I could tell they were hurt and disappointed. I doubted my father would tell my mother what it would mean to me in terms of my business. I had assured them we would be here at least until the end of the school year in June and then with the sale of the business and the house, probably some weeks if not months beyond that. I think they recognized it was delaying the inevitable, but Dad was somewhat less upset since he could drive to Chicago in a day; the distance was barely 400 miles. 

Dave Wainwright phoned just after four and we agreed to meet for a beer at a local pub at five. I phoned home and left a message with Lindsay that I would be a few minutes late getting home for dinner. I hoped that Lindsay would remember to tell her mother. I met Dave at an Irish Pub not far from his office and we each ordered a pint of Harp and sat in a small corner booth. It was a typical Friday afternoon and the place would soon be full and noisy. I told Dave of Jo's promotion and the way the decision had been dumped on my shoulders and waited for him to do his usual thing; ask pertinent questions. What I like about Dave is that he doesn't dance around the subject; he gets to the heart of the matter. 

"Well, she's already decided to take the job. She probably decided that about one second after they offered it to her. So, given that you both swear you love each other and don't want to destroy the marriage, you need to do a couple of things. First and foremost, you need to sell the business. That's going to be the most time consuming and stressful action. Secondly, you need to help Pete decide which college he wants to go to. Third, you need to find time to get to Chicago and help Jo find a place to live. My guess is that she is going to be more than very busy with the new job and she isn't going to have a lot of time to work on finding a home. You're also going to have to find someone to look after the kids while you are away. Maybe your parents can help temporarily. They aren't little kids so it won't be so demanding on the grandparents."

As usual, Dave had summarized the situation in simple terms and stated the obvious. I knew all the things he had pointed out, but he at least confirmed I hadn't missed anything. Well, almost nothing.

"I also have to sell the house and that's going to hurt the most. We put our heart and soul into that place and I don't know how I'm going to find anything like it anywhere." I said sorrowfully.

"Maybe not. Why don't you keep it. You don't owe any money on it and you could rent it out to a responsible family and it would still be yours." Dave said looking at me thoughtfully. 

"Hmmm ... that might work. It would provide some income that would pay the taxes and upkeep plus a bit more. It would still be in the family, but god knows when we'd ever live there again." I said.

"You never know, Mark. This job Jo's taking isn't going to be a piece of cake. She's working for a public company and they are going to be under pressure to grow both the top line and the bottom line. Her job is to find new markets for growth and the competition in her field is fierce; it isn't going to be easy. They're a national company and that means they're going to be looking for business everywhere and that means travel. People in those jobs often burn out just from the stress and the promises that other people make to the shareholders that she'll end up having to keep. She may find this job isn't what she thinks it is." 

I looked at Dave and saw that he was serious. If it didn't work out for Jo, we would need a place to live and the house would still be ours. But I also knew that if his description of her likely responsibilities were right, we would be seeing little of her for some months. I could only hope the worst of it would be over by the time we got to Chicago. 

"I don't think I'll say anything about not selling the house to Jo, Dave. She might interpret that as a lack of faith or maybe that I didn't expect the marriage to work or something like that."

"I think that's wise, Mark. You've got lots of time to assess what's happening before you have to finalize that decision."

"Well, as usual, you've been a big help. I didn't miss anything except not selling the house and that's a super suggestion. I really appreciate your lending me some time, Dave."

"You're going to be missed around here Mark. There's a hell of a lot of people who don't know anyone else to call in your business besides you. That's going to be hard to give up."

"Thanks for cheering me up, Dave!" I laughed.

"No problem." he laughed back at me. 

We finished our beers, shook hands and headed off to our homes in the usual Friday night rush hour traffic. 

Our weekend was more or less typical. The kids had lots to do on Saturday and I had my usual collection of repairs, maintenance and errands to look after. The lawn was cut by Pete, but the rest was up to me. Jo had called her parents on Friday morning and they were quite upset that she would be moving. Despite the fact that it was only a few hundred miles, they felt like it was a long way away and they wouldn't see us very much any more. I didn't suggest to Jo that they were probably right. She had recovered her usual pleasant disposition since she finally admitted her decision to me. For my part, I had decided that the best time for us to discuss these issues was in bed. I had resigned myself to my course of action. I would begin almost immediately to seek a buyer for the business. Tonight, Jo and I could discuss Pete's plans for college. I knew he had his heart set on U. of M. and I didn't see why he shouldn't enroll there. He would have to live on campus, but we had the financial wherewithal to make that happen and Pete was responsible young man. We trusted him and being away from home at school would be a maturing experience for him. I didn't expect resistance from his mother. 

I was more worried about his sister, Lindsay. Unlike most siblings, Pete and Lindsay were close. Pete was her protector and I can recall many a time when Lindsay would go to Pete for help or advice before she went to her mother or me. She was going to lose her home, her friends and her brother all in a short period of time. A young fifteen year old girl has enough angst in her life with out compounding it with all these stresses as well. I was ill equipped to deal with a difficult teenage girl and I was pretty sure her mother was not going to be regularly available to manage the situation. I decided not to burden Jo with my concerns on Lindsay quite yet, although I would mention the compounding changes she would be facing and then hope her mother picked up the vibrations. 

That night, in our bed, I thought I had better find out Jo's immediate plans.

"When will you be going to Chicago?" I asked.

"Monday afternoon, I think." she said quietly.

"Where will you stay?"

"The company has an apartment near the office downtown. I'll be there for a while."

"I'll miss you. It won't be the same here."

"I'll miss you too."

"You think we have a chance to make this work?" I asked without thinking.

"We have to." was her simple answer.

"Yah, I guess so." We lay silently for a minute or two. "I'll start looking for a buyer for the business on Monday. I'm hoping there will be a lot of interest. It's a good territory."

"I think you're right."

"You know Pete wants to go to U. of M. I'm OK with that if you are."

"He'll have to live on campus. It'll be expensive."

"I didn't think money would be an object. I can always pay for it out of the sale of the business."

"You don't have to do that. We can afford it now."

"Lindsay's really going to miss him."

"I suppose. She knew he was going to University, so she must expect him to be gone sooner or later." 

"A penny for your thoughts." I said after another long silence.

"I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't know what to expect. It's all going to be new. I expect a lot of pressure and long days for a while. I hope the worst of it will be over by the time you, Pete and Lindsay get there. I'm a bit nervous about it to tell the truth." she finally admitted.

"That's understandable. It's a public company and the pressure will come from the shareholders. They always want growth and they always want better profits. A lot of that growth will fall to your department I assume."

"Yes, it will. That's why they gave me the job. They want to almost double their size in the next three years."

"Wow, is that reasonable?"

"I don't know. I guess I'll find out in the first six months. I haven't got a clue what kind of a staff I have. I may have to make a lot of changes if they can't cut it."

"Don't forget. Somewhere along the line, it's supposed to be fun." I reminded her.

"I don't think these guys are into fun; except maybe after hours." she said cryptically.

"Watch yourself, Jo. You're going to be a target for some of these guys."




A House Divided Ch. 01



"What do you mean by that?" she said with a slightly cross tone.

"I mean, you're a beautiful woman and you'll get hit on regularly by guys who think they can use you or who don't think women belong in the 'big jobs'. Not every workplace is as enlightened as your office in Bloomington. The further up the ladder you go, the bigger the target on you; man or woman."

"That's a cheery summary of my future. You don't have much faith in me, do you." she said with more irritating voice.

"I have lots of faith in you Jo. I'm just telling you what to expect from some of the less principled members of the profession."

"So you have a low opinion of my industry too, do you?" Now she was angry.

"I'm trying to tell you what to expect. It isn't exclusive to the advertising industry. It's a fact of life in big corporations with big marketing departments. I'm speaking from experience." I tried hard to use a conciliatory tone.

"You have no bloody idea of what our industry is about. You're just spewing the usual bullshit you see on T.V. From now on, keep your opinions to yourself." With that she rolled over, facing away from me and I knew our discussion was over. If I had been wearing boots, I would have kicked my ass downstairs for being stupid enough to start the discussion in the first place. I didn't get any medals for smooth talking tonight.

Sunday went by without further flare-up. We went about our usual routine and with the sunny warm afternoon, we had a barbeque dinner. Lindsay was unusually quiet and the conversation at dinner was limited. Everyone knew this would be our last day together for an unknown amount of time. Jo had promised that she would be home every weekend she could but I had no unrealistic expectations that there would be many of them in the near future. I promised myself we would make our last night together a loving one. I wanted her to leave realizing that she would be missed. 

Indeed, we made love that night, but there was something missing and it lacked that comfort and familiarity we had become so used to. There was an air of desperation and probably neither of us felt fulfilled when it was over. I slept a troubled sleep that last night and I suspect Jo did as well. I had a feeling of foreboding that came from nothing I could identify except fear of the unknown. I was afraid for Jo, but I didn't know what I should be fearful of. 

I arranged to take Jo to the airport on Monday afternoon for the short commuter flight to Chicago. We hardly talked at all while we waited for her flight to be called and when it finally was announced, I pulled her to me and kissed her deeply and with all the love I knew I felt for her. We both had tears and promised to call each other every night and then she was gone. I stood watching her walk to the gate and disappear down the boarding tunnel and then turned and headed out to the parking lot. I felt an emptiness I could never recall feeling before. It was as if she was leaving forever, rather than for some indefinite period. That empty pit in my stomach was telling me all was not well with me. 

*

This is the first of a three part story which will be submitted over the next five days. As always, your comments are appreciated.  



A House Divided Ch. 02



Chapter 02: I know what I want and this ain't it!

After I had dropped Jo off at the airport, I went back to my office and called the home catering service again to make sure our first meals would be delivered tonight. I'm no cook and it wasn't likely I'd have the time or inclination to learn in the next months. We couldn't eat at restaurants every night, so, at Jo's suggestion, I called a home catering service and discussed a series of menus for our evening meals. We could cope with breakfasts and lunches, but I wanted a proper diet for our main meal. I'd give them a two week trial and then decide if they measured up. The individual meals were decided by committee; Pete, Lindsay and me. It was a bit of fun, since I wasn't going to surrender to pizza and fish sticks as a steady diet. Everyone got a favorite choice and then we all voted on the rest. By the time we were done, we had chosen fourteen meals, only three of which were repeats. Naturally, the three repeats were our individual favorites.

There was no phone call from Joanne that first night and to be honest, I didn't expect one. The next morning there was an e-mail from her giving me the apartment's phone number and address. I responded with a hi-how-are-you but got no response. I called the apartment phone number but there was no answer and no answering machine picked up. I called her cell, but she didn't answer that either and I left a message, asking her to call tonight. She called just after eight. She had just come back to the apartment and hadn't had dinner yet. 

"Hi honey, how are you?" she said in a tired voice.

"Hi Jo, I'm fine. Kids are OK. You sound tired."

"I am. I've been going since seven this morning. They're not giving me much time to get up and running, so I guess it's going to be like this for a while ... just like we expected."

"Pace yourself, Jo. Look after your health. You'll be no good to them or us if you burn yourself out."

"It's a little early for that advice, don't you think." she laughed. 

"Yah, I suppose. I'm just rehearsing my speeches for later." I returned the laugh. "So, did they give you a big fancy office and lots of secretaries to run and get coffee for you?"

"Oh sure ... actually, I have a beautiful office with a view of the lake. It's on the twenty-first floor and it's huge. I do have a secretary, but she doesn't do coffee." 

"So, what's on your agenda for the first week?" I asked.

"Meetings with the division heads and then with my boss and his troops. I expect them to give me the targets for our group and then it's up to me to figure out how we meet them. "

"Ah, true excitement!" I laughed.

"Well, one shock I got today was the ninety day reporting cycle. They have to report to the investors every quarter and that means we have to report what we expect for sales and new business every ninety days and throw in profit projections. Talk about getting in the way of getting the job done. We'll probably spend at least a week every quarter just telling them what we think we're going to do and then if it doesn't happen, we'll have to spend another week telling them why it didn't happen."

"Didn't you have to file these reports in Bloomington?"

"Sure, but it took about a half day and unless something really strange happened, we never heard anything more about it." She sounded genuinely surprised at this corporate regime. 

"Welcome to the big leagues, babe!" I tried to keep the conversation light.

"I guess. Look, Mark, I haven't eaten and I'm starving. How about I call tomorrow and I'll have some more time."

"Sure babe. Take care of yourself. Love you, Jo."

"Love to you too Mark. Talk to you tomorrow."

Our phone calls for the rest of the week were all very similar. By Thursday, I knew she wouldn't be home for the weekend. She had meetings scheduled for Saturday with the out-of-town managers and would need to prepare reports on Sunday. I let the kids know and neither of them was surprised. Lindsay seemed to be quite emotionless about it and I promised myself to keep an eye on her. I had a germ of an idea to get myself some help in being an effective father for her. One of my neighbors, Pat Carver, was a single mother with a sixteen year old daughter. I was hoping she could give me some insight on what to expect and how to handle the unknown territory of a teenage girl. I was just grateful that Lindsay had already begun her periods and I didn't have to deal with that. Jo had been pretty frank with Lindsay, so I didn't expect to run into many surprises, but I was aware that some of her contemporaries were already sexually active and I was deeply concerned that she might succumb to some boy if she didn't have the right kind of guidance. I knew who her regular girl friends were, but that didn't mean they weren't vulnerable to the same pressures. 

We had known Pat for some time and when I discussed the idea with Jo, she was enthusiastically in favor. Jo too was concerned with Lindsay, confessing that she realized she wasn't her usual upbeat self and wasn't very warm toward her mother. They had talked on the phone a couple of times, but the conversations were short and our daughter seemed reluctant to even take the phone. I called Pat from work and arranged a get together with her on the weekend. I decided on a barbeque that would include Pat and her daughter, Alicia and her son, Brandon. Brandon was fourteen and seemed like a nice kid. Alicia was sixteen going on twenty one. She was developing physically and had an independent attitude that would put many adults off; including me. Pat seemed to recognize it for what it was; growing up. The barbeque was a great success despite Alicia making it plain that she was only attending to humor her mother. 

I found Pat to be very comfortable to talk to and I thought these weekend get-togethers might be a good habit to get into. I was grateful for the company and her advice and good humor was welcome. She was an attractive brunette with a lovely figure and deep brown eyes. She was a year or two older than I was, but looked several years younger, much like Jo. She was a widow; her husband having been killed in a highway accident five or six years ago. I was surprised there wasn't a man or several men in her life. I wondered how I would find out about her social life. I decided I was getting ahead of myself. My wife had been gone less that a week and I was already entertaining single women at my home. In some quarters, that might raise eyebrows. 

One of the reasons for inviting Pat to our house was to give her the opportunity to observe Lindsay first hand. She may recognize a pattern of behavior that I would not. In getting to know her better, I almost forgot the purpose of her being here. It was Pat that reminded me.

"Lindsay is really missing her mom, Mark. She's feels like she's been abandoned by her. It's not going to be easy for her to get over this. Fifteen is a very impressionable age and now she knows her brother Pete is going too. It's pretty traumatic for a young girl."

"I'm sure you're right, Pat. That's what I see too. The question is; what do we do about it? I mean, what do I do about it?" I finished sheepishly. I hadn't meant to put the monkey on her back.

"Relax, Mark." she smiled. "Just be here for her and make sure you don't turn Jo into the enemy. You don't want to reinforce her current attitude and you do want to show her she's wrong. It's going to be how you manage your relationship with Jo that counts the most."

I looked at Pat very carefully. I sensed that she had recognized all was not well with Jo's acceptance of the new job and our relationship. I know I hadn't said anything to her, but I wondered if Jo might have. I needed to find out somehow. Did Jo have the same sense of foreboding that I had? I could only hope not. 

"You're a smart lady, Pat. I hope we can 'consult' on this and other matters regularly." I smiled

"It would be a pleasure." she replied.

-0-

Jo came home to Eden Prairie the second weekend and we had a wonderful two days with her. She was very enthusiastic about her new job and was obviously anxious to tell us all about it. She arrived at the airport on Saturday morning and the whole family was there to greet her. I had invited our parents for Sunday dinner and she was very pleased, but warned that she would have to leave early to catch a plane back to Chicago. It was the only downer of the visit and on Saturday night we made love like it was the old days; only on steroids. It was as if we hadn't been together for months instead of just two weeks. Perhaps we were trying to make up for all the bad days before she left and it was exciting, if not exhausting. We slept in until nine the next morning and Jo was first up to make a special big breakfast for us. Even Lindsay was smiling and enjoying the day. I drove her to the airport on Sunday evening and we kissed and hugged for several minutes as we reminded ourselves how much we loved each other. I have to say, it cheered me up and yet her parting was just as sad as the first time she had left. I had to be honest with myself; I wasn't handling her absence very well. 

The first week Jo was gone I had put out feelers to various agencies that my business might be for sale to the 'right party'. By the third week I was beginning to get some feedback. A couple of companies had called and asked if I was serious and what kind of money I was talking about. I gave them my standard answer; yes it might be for sale for the right party at the right price. I would be happy to direct them to an independent appraiser to evaluate the business and come up with a number. I would do the same and we could discuss the matter if I thought they were worthy bidders. I was determined to sell the business to someone who would value the customers and suppliers they way I thought they should be valued. I was disinterested in some faceless corporation coming in and assuming they could pillage the client list for the maximum return. I had hired an appraiser whose judgment I trusted to put a number on my business. I was anxious to hear his opinion. I knew it would be very close to the value I could expect to receive. To be truthful, I had no idea if the business was worth $100,000 or a million. I was only sure it was worth something. 

My appraiser, Frank Stallworth, gave me a call on Wednesday of that third week. He suggested he would drop by my office at my convenience, so I invited him to lunch and we met at my favorite pub, The Blarney Stone. The Wednesday lunch crowd was fairly quiet and Frank and I were able to find a small booth near the back that would afford us some privacy. I ordered my usual pint of Harp and Frank had an iced tea. We exchanged small talk for a few minutes and then, after ordering our lunch, Frank got down to business.

"I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the value I believe your business should bring, Mark." He had my undivided attention.

"It's always hard to evaluate a business that is based entirely on referral and intangibles, but in my experience, you come out at the top of the charts." He had me smiling at this point. "I think you should look for at least $1.5 million before saying yes."

"Are you kidding?" I exclaimed. I'm not normally at a loss for words, but I was having a hard time digesting the number he had just quoted.

"You have to remember, Mark, that 'value' in the insurance business is in the actuarial numbers and when all those small and medium size policies are contributing each month, the profit to your suppliers is very handsome. But what makes your business so attractive are the specialty policies that you have developed. They are the goldmine that your buyers are really going to go crazy for. It may mean you can sell for a good deal more that my estimate, but whatever, your foresight in that market segment is really going to pay off for you."

"I think I just won the lottery." I said slumping back in my seat. "Can you imagine? All those years of work. I had no clue it was worth this much."

"No substitute for hard work, my friend. It's only worth that much because you made it worth that much. Congratulations!" he said sincerely.

"Wow, thanks. I guess now, the rest is in my hands. I've got to find the right kind of buyer."

My lunch was delicious and I treated myself to another Harp while Frank satisfied himself with a second iced tea. I was almost giddy with excitement and couldn't wait to tell Jo. I knew she would be surprised. 

I hadn't talked to Jo for a couple of days. She said she was traveling and with the time change and meetings, she would try and call tonight. When I heard nothing by ten, I tried her cell phone, but there was no answer and I left a message. We had started out trying to talk to each other every day, but already that was becoming erratic. Again, she would not be here this weekend; more meetings or travel or both. Somehow the excitement of today's lunch had faded and I thought I might not tell her about Frank's evaluation until I had a firm bid in my hand. I was still dubious that I could have created a value of the size Frank was describing. 

-0- 

Jo didn't call on Thursday either and I was beginning to wonder if she remembered us. I knew she wouldn't be home this weekend, but I expected at least some contact from her. Again, I called her cell phone and again I was forced to leave a message. Late Friday afternoon she called home. Pete had gone to his ballgame, Lindsay was over at a friend's house and I was on my way home from the office. She left a message which was short and sounded rushed. She apologized for not calling earlier but was between meetings and airports and whatever and would try and call us on the weekend. I listened to the message by myself and then played it back again. I had that hollow, sinking feeling again. We had become less important and we were truly on our own. I did the only thing I could think of on a lonely Friday evening. I called Pat Carver and invited her to a barbeque dinner on Saturday. I was more relieved than delighted when she accepted. I had also invited her kids, but both were busy and with my two out on their usual Saturday activities, there would just be the two of us. After I had hung up, I became aware that the feeling that was most pervasive with me was loneliness.

Pat came over just before six on Saturday and since neither of us was terribly hungry, we decided to eat a little later and we could have a drink and a chat beforehand. Lindsay had eaten one of her 'favorites' as the imported dinners had become known and had skipped off to her friend's house just after Pat arrived. Lindsay was behaving like a typical teenage girl; up one minute and down the next. That part I had become accustomed to. Her attitude toward her mother, however, was something else again. She had virtually excommunicated her. She was subdued if not downright surly to Jo on the phone and their conversations were short and not very fulfilling. If Jo was alarmed, she wasn't reacting too strongly; usually dismissing it a typical teenage attitude. I wasn't convinced. She wasn't like that with me, Pete or even Pat. She was still active with her friends and it was plain her problem was with her mother. 

"She's really got it in for Jo." I told Pat. "She's going to make her pay for leaving and so far she hasn't let up."

"It's still early, Mark. How is Jo reacting to her?"

"She doesn't seem to be perturbed by it surprisingly. I don't know if she's decided to ignore her attitude or what."

"Well, give Lindsay some time. It sounds like she's fine around home and at school. Am I right?"

"Yes. I can't see any difference so far. Pete's keeping an eye out for her too. He's aware of the tension between them." I revealed.

"What about you. How are you doing, Mark?"

I looked over at Pat and shrugged. "OK, I guess. I'm busy enough during the day that I don't dwell on it, but ... at night ... well ..." my voice trailed off.

"Loneliness is an ugly state, Mark. I know that from experience. It can eat at you. I still feel it now and then." she said sympathetically. 

"We've never been apart; even for a day. Except I guess when the kids were born and she was in the hospital. I didn't have to travel and when there were conventions, I always took Jo with me. I think that's what's making this so hard. We've never been apart." I was looking off into the distance, unfocussed and in a wistful mood; remembering how many nights we spent on this patio with each other, just sitting, talking; happy just to be together.

"That's pretty rare, Mark. I don't think there are many married couples today who could say that. Karl and I had a completely different lifestyle. He was on the road two weeks out of four. It was that way when I married him and it was that way the day he died. I only knew that lifestyle. I expected it, so it wasn't a problem." She talked as if it was an everyday occurrence. 

I couldn't conceive of a life like that. "How did you get over it ... I mean ... the loneliness ... after Karl's death?"

"I guess it was a matter of time. The hurt was bad at first. It got a little bit less as time went on. My folks helped a lot and so did Karl's mother. They were very supportive and I saw them quite a bit at first. It helped. Alicia was very hurt by it and I think she still mourns for him. Brandon seems to have come to terms with it. I guess it's not much different than Pete and Lindsay, is it?"

"No, I guess not." I said quietly. I turned toward her and looked directly at her for a moment. "Thanks for being here, Pat. It helps."

"Yah, I know." she said looking directly back at me. "Can I ask you a personal question? You don't have to answer if it's too personal."

"Sure."

"I sense some tension between you and Jo; especially before she left. She dropped in to see me to let me know she would be going to Chicago. I ... well, let's just say ... she left me with the impression that it wasn't with your complete approval."

I looked at Pat with a steady gaze for a few moments and then looked away. "It's true. I could see all kinds of things that would change our lives forever. Selling my business, leaving our beautiful home, uprooting the kids, leaving our friends. I know, I know ... it happens in all kinds of families. But I wanted it to be for the right reasons and in the end, I'm not sure it was." I was talking in an almost monotone voice; trying to keep the emotion out of the comment.

"Do you think Jo accepted this promotion for the wrong reasons?" Pat asked quietly. 

"I think she was seduced by the idea and the massive stroke to her ego. I don't think she wanted to know any reasons why not to accept it. She got angry with me because she couldn't argue with me. I think deep down she understood my concerns, but she was looking for a miracle. I let her put that burden on me. I'm the one that has to make it work. She's free to pursue her dream now."

"I'm sorry, Mark. I can see this is hard on you. I shouldn't have brought the subject up." she said.

"That's OK, Pat. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. I took the path of least resistance."

"What's next?" she asked.

"Well, I got an appraisal on the business and I was shocked at how much it will be worth. In fact, I was amazed. So, money isn't going to be an issue." I said with a smile. "And Pete's going to U. of M. this fall. He'll live on campus. He's stoked about that." I continued. "My friend Dave came up with a great suggestion that I don't sell the house. Maybe rent it out. You never know ... we might be back. That part I haven't shared with Jo for obvious reasons. So, not everything is bad." I smiled.

"Good, I'm glad. Sounds like you've got a plan for the next while." she said positively.

"Yah, well my short term plan is to make us something to eat. I'm getting hungry and you definitely don't want to hear my stomach growl."




A House Divided Ch. 02



"Sounds like a good idea to me. I'm hungry too."

I started the barbeque and went into the kitchen and brought out the preparations. Pat volunteered to toss the salad and I pulled a bottle of Spanish Rioja and in a few minutes, our dinner was ready. Pat had a good appetite and happily, my Pork Satay was properly cooked and still moist. The sour cream red potato salad was a deli item and ready to serve. It was a warm evening in mid May and we were comfortable eating outside. After the meal, we sat and sipped the wine without talking much. It was very much the way Jo and I would have spent the same evening many times in the past. I felt a sense of comfort I hadn't felt in some time and I welcomed it. 

-0-

Jo hadn't been home since the second week after she left and it was now near the end of May. Memorial Day was a Monday and that would mean a long weekend. Surely she would be here then. On Sunday morning I called her apartment and wonder of wonders, she answered. 

"Hi Jo, good morning." I said brightly.

"Hi Mark. Good to hear your voice. How is everyone?"

"We're all fine. I didn't expect to find you there. Are you OK?" I asked, concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just getting ready to head to the airport this afternoon. Back to New York for a few days I'm afraid."

"I assume you'll be home here on Friday or Saturday morning?" 

"I don't know, Mark. I'm not sure if I can make it." she said warily.

"Don't you give your people Memorial Day off?" I asked.

"Yes, of course. Oh, god, I didn't realize, that's next weekend. I'll have to see if I can get a flight. I'll let you know, Mark." she said hurriedly.

I found I was getting a bit irritated with her again. She had become so wrapped up in her job that she had once again forgotten her family. She could easily have flown from Minneapolis to New York today, but that apparently never entered her mind. I hadn't talked to her since Tuesday, but I doubted she would realize that. And now, she had made no plans to visit on the long weekend. Aside from the Fourth of July or Thanksgiving, one of the big holiday weekends of the year. Did she treat her employees as cavalierly as she did her family?

"Well, I hope you can. It would be a bit difficult to explain to Pete, Lindsay and our parents. I have planned a family day with both our folks on Sunday. With Monday as a holiday, you'd be able to stay for the whole day." I wanted her to understand that she was expected and had better make an effort to be here.

"I'll do my best, Mark. I'll get my secretary on it first thing tomorrow, I promise." 

"OK, I'll wait to hear from you and naturally, we'll meet you at the airport." I wanted to put as much pressure on her as possible.

"What are you doing to keep busy?" she asked, trying to change the topic.

"I've got a couple of leads on the business. I'll be talking to them in the next week and then see what they have to offer and whether I think they're the right kind of people for my agency."

"Well, don't be too picky, Mark. Take the best offer and be done with it." she said offhandedly.

I was in danger of saying something I would regret and I figuratively bit my tongue. "I hear you." I said in a non-committal tone.

"Have you done anything about the house?" she asked.

"No, it's way too early for that. I expect it to sell very quickly, so there's no rush to put ourselves out of a home before we're ready to move." I wondered how she would react to the "out of a home" comment.

"I suppose you're right." she offered.

"How about you? Have you given any thought to where we'll live when we get to Chicago?" I couldn't resist this jab. I knew perfectly well she hadn't even thought about it, much less started looking.

"No, I've been too busy. I'll have to get on that soon." She wasn't very convincing. "How's Lindsay doing?" She was determined to change the topic again.

"She's fine around here. I'm afraid her problem is with you. I've talked to Pat Carver about it and she agrees."

"I got that impression. Well, there isn't much I can do about it from here. At least she's civil to you." she rationalized. 

"Let's hope she gets over it when we're all together again." 

"Yes, let's hope." She said in a resigned voice. "I've got to go now Mark. Say hi to the kids and tell them I love them. Love you too Mark." 

"Me too, Jo. Take care and let me know when you'll be arriving."

That was the end of the conversation and I could only hope I had put enough pressure on her to make sure she was here this coming weekend.

Whether her secretary had to pull some strings or she just got lucky, I don't know, but despite the late booking on a major holiday weekend, Jo was able to get a flight from New York to Minneapolis on Friday afternoon. It probably helped that she was booking first class but I really didn't care. I was just glad she was coming home and would be here for at least three days. It had been weeks since we had been together and I was planning on some serious bedroom catching-up. I needed the morale boost as much as anything. I was getting irritated too easily and finding fault with too much. 

On the spur of the moment, I contacted Sue Walters of Walters' Realty. Sue had pushed a lot of business my way and although we had never used an agent since we had bought the house, she was the first person I thought about. I asked her to come out and give me a ballpark estimate of our house's value and how long it would take to sell it. I had no intention of listing it, but I needed to have the information to short circuit any questions about my dragging my feet. That would come later. Sue dropped by late Tuesday afternoon and we walked around the outside of the house and then went through it room by room. She was very impressed with the work we had done on the nearly 100 year old house. She was full of compliments and admiration for out attention to detail. The basement had remained unfinished other than my workshop and a small wine cellar. The décor was period for the house and the restoration was faithful to the original design. The plumbing and wiring were totally updated as were the appliances. A separate three car garage with a breezeway to the house completed the design. It was set on a one acre lot with plenty of width between the neighbors. We fell in love with the house the first time we saw it and I've never changed my opinion. Apparently, Sue agreed with me.

"This is amazing, Mark. It's a gem. You can easily realize over $850,000 and more if you're patient. I wouldn't be surprised at a bidding war for it." she gushed. You'll pay a lot more in Chicago area for this quality.

"Well, considering we bought it for $135,000 twenty years ago, I guess it's been worth the work. Actually, I'm hoping I don't have to sell it, but time will tell." Again, I was stunned at the value of our property. Until Jo's promotion, we had never even thought about selling and I had no clue what the selling prices were for houses like ours in the Eden Prairie township. I was more determined than ever to hold onto this lovely place. Sue and I sat on the patio after I had offered her a glass of wine as a thank-you for the information. I was happy to have someone to talk to and Sue gave me lots of gossip on the neighborhood. I'm not sure I needed as much information as she had offered, but when she mentioned Pat Carver's name, I was paying full attention. 

"Pat Carver is a regular at the fitness club I go to. The girls and I keep trying to fix her up with a date, but she's pretty reluctant. I think she's got her eye on someone, but I don't know who it is. For someone like me, that's a killer!" she laughed.

"She's a good neighbor. I've been using her advice dealing with my daughter. She's pretty upset with her mother being gone and Pat's gone through it herself with her daughter. She's been a big help." I said conversationally.

"Well, well! Maybe you're the guy she's got her eye on." she laughed.

"Now don't start that, Sue!" The last thing I need is the rumor mill working overtime with Jo in Chicago and me here. Pat and I are temporary single parents; or at least I am. We just compare notes." I offered as forcefully as I can. 

"Relax, Mark. I'm just kidding. But I am keeping my eye on Pat, so beware!" she laughed again.

We spent a few more minutes chatting and then Sue excused herself and headed home to make dinner for her family. Once again I was grateful for the company. I headed back into the house and started to think about dinner. We had decided we would continue with our catering service, but would give them one day off a week when we either went out together or we got a Chinese take-out or the ever-popular pizza. We had jigged the menu a couple of times as we tried different things and in the end, we had twelve different meals with no repeaters. I was satisfied that our diet was fine and our breakfasts during the week were conventional and nutritional while the lunches I packed for Lindsay were as well. Pete was eating lunch in the High School Cafeteria and I assumed the food would be appropriate. He was never a junk-food junkie, so I wasn't particularly worried. I had figured out when they were due for their dental checkups and made sure all of us stayed with our semi-annual visits. 

For this coming long weekend, I consulted with both sets of parents on what they thought we should do for the big Sunday meal. Happily, they suggested they look after that and consulted between themselves on the logistics of making it happen. Now that I knew for sure Jo would be here, all I had to do was make sure all the peripherals were looked after. If it was warm, we would eat outside since our deck was large enough that I could move the dining room table out there. If not, we would have dinner in the dining room as we normally would. I would look after the wine and I knew the likes and dislikes of our parents, so I would make sure I was prepared for them. When Thursday evening came along, I realized I was in a very good mood and excited about the forthcoming weekend. Jo would be home tomorrow and I would have a bed partner for at least three nights. That was a huge motivator for me. I had visited our local florist and ordered flowers for both the table and a couple of places in the house, including our bedroom. I wasn't going to leave anything to chance.

-0-

When Jo appeared in the arrivals area I was surprised at her appearance. She was dressed in a black business suit with a knee length tight skirt and high heels. She wore a white blouse with a short black open jacket and aside from a wristwatch, ear studs and her wedding rings, was devoid of jewelry. Her appearance, to me, was severe. She looked slim, almost as if she had lost weight and her face was somewhat drawn, making her look tired. I thought I could detect a hint of dark circles under her eyes. She was walking slowly and when she saw us, she smiled and hurried to us. I hugged her to me and held her for some time. I finally released her, kissed her and looked at her with what I knew was a big smile. She turned to Lindsay and hugged her, although less aggressively. Pete gave her a kiss and a hug, but there was warmth toward both of them and it was good to see us all together again. I let the kids do the talking as we waited for the luggage and then headed out to the parking lot and our car. I wanted to get Jo home so that we could talk and I could rid myself of the sense of unease I felt about her appearance. As I drove, Jo told the kids about her travels and all the different places she had been in the last couple of months. Lindsay was upbeat and was clearly a different person than she had been toward her mother in her absence. I was delighted. It was a change I welcomed.

Jo's parents would be arriving on Saturday and staying in the spare bedroom for two nights. My folks were only a few minutes away and they would be here each of the three days. I was really looking forward to having everyone together. I wanted Jo to understand what she had been missing for the past weeks. She needed to get back in touch with all of us. That was my plan. Some plans work, some don't. I carried Jo's bag up to our bedroom and she quickly changed into t-shirt and shorts, just as she would have when we were together. 

When she came down stairs, I poured her a glass of wine; just as I would have any late Friday afternoon. We walked out onto the patio deck and sat together. 

"You look tired, Jo. I can see signs of strain. Are you alright?" I asked.

"I am tired. I've been on the go since the day I started and there doesn't seem to be any end to it." she admitted.

"You need to look after yourself love. You need to give yourself a break now and then. That's what this weekend is all about."

"I know. Every time I think I've can put my head up, something else comes along. It's never-ending so far." she sighed.

"Jo, you've been gone eight weeks and this is only the second time you've been home. Is that what your company demands of you or is it what you demand of yourself?" I was trying to keep my tone non-confrontational.

"Some of both Mark. They are very demanding and I guess I want to succeed at this, so I'm giving it all I've got." At least she was being honest with herself. That was a start, I thought.

I reached over for her hand and we held hands silently for a few minutes. When Lindsay walked out on the patio, I Iooked over my shoulder at her and saw her smile. I felt good about that. When I looked back at Jo, her eyes were closed and I thought she might have even fallen asleep. Her hand in mine was relaxed and she was home again and I felt better than I had in a long time. 

The weekend was marvelous. Jo completely relaxed and was her old self again. We celebrated Memorial Day with a picnic in the nearby park with the kids and both sets of parents. It was just like the 'old days'. The weather was wonderful and warm and we just celebrated being together again. We made love each night and it was great. She was warm and loving and playful and I felt we were getting back in touch with each other after some tense times in the past two months. I hoped that this would remind her to stay in touch with us more regularly and also remind her of what she is missing when she is gone. We shed a few tears that last night together. Jo's never been a highly emotional woman, but I could sense she knew how important this contact was to us. When we drove to the airport on Monday night, we promised to work harder to stay in touch and to find the time to be together. On the drive home, I realized we never once talked about selling the business, the house or moving to Chicago. We had, I guess, chosen not to talk about the things which might reopen the wounds we had inflicted on each other. 

-0-



A House Divided Ch. 03



Joanne's promise to keep in touch lasted a little over a week. She phoned three times the week after the Memorial Day weekend and then twice the following week, followed by a brief Sunday call in the next two weeks. She seemed to sink deeper into her job with each passing week and there was no hope she would be home on any weekend during June. The Fourth of July was a mid-week date and I wondered how Jo would mark that Holiday with her family. I had hoped she would tag the beginning or end of that Wednesday and make it a four day weekend with her family. I left the usual messages with her asking the question but by the week before the holiday, I had not received any answer. I was past being frustrated with my wife and her reluctance to keep in touch with her family. Finally on Sunday, Jo called home.

"Hi Mark. How are you?" she asked glibly.

"I'm fine. I was wondering when I'd hear from you. What's your plan for July 4th?" I asked.

"I'm in the middle of a project and I'm not sure I can get home for the holiday." she replied with an apologetic voice.

"I see. Jo, it's been a month since you've been home. Is that what I can expect; a couple of days every month or two?" I asked acidly.

"Don't be like that Mark. You know I'm trying the best I can." she said with a conciliatory voice.

"Jo, I just don't think you give us much thought any more. We're an afterthought it seems."

"That's not fair, Mark. I think of you all the time. You're not being very fair to me." she said in a complaining voice.

"Well Jo, I'm tired of begging. I'm tired of trying to remind you that you have a family. I'm tired of pleading with you to come home to see us. From now on, it's up to you." I said in an angry tone.

"Stop it Mark. You're being mean. I don't deserve this." 

"We don't deserve being abandoned by you." I raised my irritated voice. "The ball's in your court, Jo. You decide how important we are. I'm finished begging you."

"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" she asked.

"No, I'm simply putting the monkey on your back. I'm telling you your relationship with this family is in your hands." I said, now angry.

"What kind of attitude is that?" she demanded.

"It's the one that says I don't have the strength or inclination to beg you to remember who we are." I concluded.

"This is very unfair of you, Mark. I thought we had an understanding. I can see I was wrong." she said in her best imperious voice.

"Suit yourself. I've told you what I think. You decide. It's now up to you who we are and what we mean to you." I said finally. "Good bye Jo. Call when you feel like it." I made no attempt to listen for an answer and hung up.

She didn't call back and I knew I had thrown down the gauntlet. She had pushed the wrong button and I was fed up with taking all the responsibility for holding this family together. I was through calling her and leaving messages with a silicone chip. I sat back in my sofa and thought about the likely consequences of this phone call. I had lost my temper and I wasn't proud of myself, but I was, in my mind, justified. She simply didn't give us much thought and from now on, the responsibility for communicating would be hers.

I didn't sleep very well that night. I tossed and turned and my thoughts were filled with recriminations over my burst of temper on the phone with Jo. I argued with myself about how justified I was to be frustrated and angry. On the other hand, this was my wife of twenty years and I couldn't come to terms with how our relationship had deteriorated to this point. Was it my fault? I didn't think so. Jo had to take some of the responsibility. The argument went on all night. By six the next morning, I was exhausted and I decided I was better off getting up and having a shower and finding something to do with myself. Coffee! I knew that would solve everything. 

That afternoon I came home from work early. I was tired and I decided to take an afternoon nap. A couple of hours later, around six o'clock, I woke and went downstairs to see if Lindsay was home. She was in the kitchen, had made dinner for herself and was heading out for her regular Wednesday night softball game. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and apologized for not being with her at dinner time.

"It's OK Dad. I guess you didn't get much sleep last night after the phone call with Mom." she said.

"You heard? Oh ... I'm sorry Lindsay. I didn't want you to have to hear that. I should have been more careful." I offered apologetically.

"You really laid it on the line for her ... I'm proud of you Dad." she said smiling.

"I'm not sure it was the smartest thing I could have done; I guess I let my temper get the best of me. I hope I haven't done too much damage."

"You were right, Dad. It's up to Mom to decide. She's the one who left us. She's the one who doesn't call or come here." Lindsay was growing up fast; maybe too fast. I gave her a hug and another kiss and thanked her for her support and wished her luck at her game. 

I went to the liquor cupboard and took out the Scotch bottle and poured myself a stiff drink. I walked out on the deck and sat in the warm early summer evening. I had made some big decisions today. Or, at least I had confirmed decisions that I had been thinking about for a while now. I would have to share these with Lindsay and Pete this weekend because all of us were going to be affected by them. I slowly sipped my Scotch and sat quietly, listening to the early evening birds; lost in my thoughts. Sometime later, I rose and went in the house, scrounging for something to eat. I made myself another Scotch while I concocted a sandwich from leftovers and went back out on the deck. I finished the sandwich and the Scotch and put my head back on the lounge chair and again fell asleep.

I guess I sensed someone's presence rather than heard it. I woke, groggy from the sleep and realized it was dark. I looked over my shoulder and saw the outline of a woman silhouetted in the kitchen light. I stood unsteadily and turned to see who it was. I was surprised to see Jo; standing there in her business suit and looking at me wordlessly.

"Hi." I said brilliantly; desperately trying to gather my thoughts. I quickly looked at my watch and saw that it was almost ten.

"Hi Mark. Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." she said quietly.

"Yah ... it's OK." More snappy dialogue. I was beginning to come around. I stretched and looked at Jo without moving toward her.

"You want a drink or something?" I asked cleverly.

"A glass of wine would be nice." she replied. We were like two fighters in the first round. Both trying to feel the other out; sparring at arms length and circling each other. I walked to the kitchen to get her a glass of wine. Jo didn't follow. When I returned to the deck, she was sitting in one of the deck chairs near the lounge I had been in.

"So, what brings you out all the way to the 'sticks'?" I asked; instantly regretting my smart-assed remark.

Jo paused for a moment while she sipped the wine. "I was very upset at the phone call last night, Mark. I didn't get much sleep after that." she said evenly.

"Well that puts you one up on me; I didn't sleep at all. I caught a nap this afternoon and I guess it caught up to me tonight." I offered lamely.

"I couldn't believe you'd hung up on me." 

"Yep. I did. I apologize for that." I said simply.

"Did you mean what you said last night?"

"Yes, Jo. I did. I admit I was angry, but I meant what I said. It's up to you to decide. I'm tired of being the only active participant in this marriage." I tried to keep a civil tone in my voice. I wasn't sure if I had succeeded.

"I think you're being very unfair." she said in an even voice. I've only just started this job. I'm just getting my feet wet and already you're quitting on me." 

"You've been gone over three months, Jo. You've been home three times for a total of six days. You don't call, you don't answer your phone and you don't return our phone calls. I talked to your mother and father yesterday and they haven't seen or heard from you since the Memorial Day weekend. So which part of communications am I not being fair about?" I could feel myself getting angry again. 

She fell silent for a moment.

"Tell me, Jo. Is this what you really, really wanted? Is this job really worth it? Does it give you great satisfaction?" I asked evenly. "It reminds me of those pet Gerbil cages with the wheel that they run in. They go round and round and no matter how fast they go, they get nowhere! And if they stop running, they get spit out onto the bottom of the cage. That's what your job is like. No matter how hard you work or how fast you run, it'll never be enough. They'll always want more tomorrow. It's the nature of the beast. Can't you see that?" I asked.

"I told you, I'm just getting started. I haven't had time to stop and smell the roses. It's an important job, Mark. I have big responsibilities." she finished in a pleading voice.

"Big responsibilities? Bigger than your family?" I asked in my best indignant tone.

"For now, yes. I have to rely on you to keep things together here until I can get myself organized." she stated emphatically.

"What the hell do you think I've been doing for the past three months? Who do you think pays the bills, buys the groceries, makes sure Lindsay gets her school work done, pays Pete's tuition and board? You haven't contributed a single god-damned dime to this household since the day you left. You've been lost in your selfish little world and you haven't give a minute's thought to any of us until you get pestered about it. Well, I'm through pestering." I had worked myself back into last night's anger all over again.

"I have some news for you Jo. I am not selling my business! I am not selling this home and I am sure as hell not moving to Chicago!"

"What?" she said in open mouthed surprise.

"Why the hell should I uproot Lindsay and myself to go live in some strange suburban ghetto near Chicago so that you can come home once a week or so and pay us a visit like some kind of visiting dignitary. It wouldn't be any different than it is now. There'd always be a reason you couldn't make it home, wouldn't there. An early meeting, a trip to the coast, a conference or a business dinner. Screw that! That's not what I signed on for in this marriage. We were fine until you decided that all that was more important than us." I was sure the neighbors could hear me now. I had lost it and it wasn't very pretty. I saw tears on Jo's cheeks and I think she began to realize just how far she had pushed me.

I finally shut up and sat back in the lounge fingering the glass of Scotch in my hand and looking off into the darkness. 

Finally, Jo recovered her voice. 

"Are you telling me you want a divorce?" she said sobbing quietly.

"It's up to you, Jo. I keep hoping you'll come to your senses and see what you're doing to this family and to yourself. Have you looked in the mirror lately, Jo? I hate to rub it in, but you look like hell. No amount of makeup or fancy suits can hide what your lifestyle is doing to you. Are you willing to sacrifice your health too?" I stopped again as she continued to sob quietly in her chair, unable to look at me.

"To answer your question," I continued in a quiet voice. "No. I don't want a divorce. I'm praying that somehow we'll get through this and our twenty years together won't be lost in some corporate boardroom in Chicago. But I have to tell you Jo, I won't live like this forever. There's a time limit on my commitment. I'm not sure what it is, but there is a time limit."

"Oh god, Mark. How can I make this work for us? I don't want a divorce ... I love you. I want us to be together ... all of us. I just need some more time ... that's all." She was pleading, but I wasn't sure whether it was with me or with herself. 

"Well, there's nothing stopping you from taking the time you need; up to a point. I'll give you to the end of the year, Jo. If we're still talking to each other then, maybe we've got a chance. But, like I said last night ... the ball's in your court. I'm tired of being the only one trying." I had finished. There wasn't anything more to be said about the state of our relationship. The rest of it was housekeeping.

"You're tired. Why don't you get changed for bed and get some sleep. I'll be up in a while." I said.

"Yes, you're right. I am tired. Will you be long before ...?" her voice trailed off.

"No. What time's your flight tomorrow? I'll drive you to the airport." I said quietly.

"Ten thirty." she said softly and then turned and walked back into the house.

For the first time since she had left, we didn't make love. Perhaps it was the fatigue but I felt we had moved farther apart in the past day and yet I knew I had to stand my ground with her. She had to make a commitment to us; not the other way around. I checked Lindsay's room and she was sound asleep. She had no idea that her mother was in the house.

Both Jo and I were up early at six and Jo set about making a full breakfast. When Lindsay came downstairs at quarter to seven, she was surprised to see her mother.

"Good Morning Lindsay," Jo said brightly. "Sleep well?"

"Uh, yah. What are you doing here?" she asked bluntly.

"I needed to talk to your father." Jo replied just as directly.

"Yah, I guess, after that phone call the other night." Lindsay said warily; watching for her mother's reaction.

"You heard that?" Jo asked surprised.

"Yah ... I heard. I probably wasn't supposed to, but I did." she said cautiously. "I'm a big girl now. I can handle it."

"Yes, I suppose you can." Jo said without looking at her. "I'm making some breakfast ... how do you want your eggs?" she asked.

"Uh ... scrambled I guess." she answered quietly. As I walked into the kitchen I could feel the tension in the room.

"Hi Lindsay. I see you know your Mom's here." I said conversationally.

"Yah." Not exactly a ringing endorsement from the fifteen year-old.

"Don't worry, I'll be gone soon enough." Jo shot back.

We ate our breakfast in near silence. Jo tried to get Lindsay to talk about school, but Lindsay wasn't in a communicative mood. At seven thirty, she got up from the kitchen table, said goodbye to her mother and kissed me on the cheek saying she would be home at her usual time and left without another word.

"That was painful." Jo commented. "She's still mad at me?"

"I guess she feels like I do, Jo. She hasn't seen you very much and you're her mother. She used to confide in you and now you're not here. You shouldn't be so surprised." I said in a quiet voice. 

"I suppose not. There's not much I can do about it for now. I'll try and talk more often to her; that is if she'll talk to me." she offered.

"It's worth a try." I said "I'll try and convince her to give you a chance. You just have to do your part and call her."

"I'll phone the office and have them transfer some money to our joint checking account. I forgot to arrange that when I started with them. Sorry." she said without much enthusiasm.

"Well, it's not like we have to have the money, Jo. We're OK with my income alone. We're far from short." 

"I don't use much anyway, Mark. I live in the Company's apartment rent free and most of my costs are on the expense account. Aside from clothes and the occasional dinner, I don't have much reason to spend money. Most of my salary is in the bank."

"Doesn't sound like much of a life, Jo. Don't you even go to the movies?" I asked.

"I'm usually too tired and not very motivated. I'm just as happy to watch some TV or do paperwork." she replied quietly.

"Don't you have any friends?"

"Not really. I pretty much keep to myself. It's probably better that way. You already know I'm not very reliable when it comes to finding spare time." 

"You've always got friends here, Jo. Remember that. You always need friends." I said sincerely.

She nodded in agreement and we spent the rest of our time together in small talk about the neighbors and the town gossip. She seemed down, but I wasn't too surprised. I had been pretty tough on her the last two nights and I hadn't given her much room to maneuver. 

I drove her to the airport and we hugged and kissed briefly before she went into the boarding area. It was a far cry from our last parting. I could only hope that I hadn't driven her too far over the edge. I wanted her to examine her life and see what it was doing to her and to our family. I wanted her to understand the risk to our marriage. Only time would tell if I had done it the right way.

-0-

I'll give Jo credit. She tried very hard over the next months to improve her relationship with us. She called regularly; often on her cell phone from some airport waiting room or the back of a cab or wherever. She stopped at the house on her way through from one city to another at least once a month and she made a special effort to get back on good terms with Lindsay. She wasn't working any less hard; she was just making sure she took the time to talk to us. It wasn't perfect, but it was a big improvement. Through July, August and early September, she kept up a steady stream of calls and I was hoping that it would lead to more visits, but around the middle of September, things changed and not for the better.

Jo called one evening and said she was beginning her next year's planning sessions. This was the financial plan for the next year and she would be responsible for setting the targets for sales and profits for her division. Or, at least that's what I thought. Jo wasn't in a great mood when she called and I asked her about it. She sounded very tired and somewhat dispirited and it took me a while to get her to tell me what the problem was.

It seemed that the corporation had already set the goals for the next year and Jo's planning sessions were expected to at least validate those plans or come up with even better numbers. It was just as I had predicted. Jo's hard work over the past six months was just the beginning of the cycle. Yes, they were pleased with her progress, but in their world; "Some is good, more is better!" The numbers they had established for her division were very aggressive and would be very difficult to obtain. 

"I have to find a way to make their numbers work." she said. "It doesn't matter what I think we can really do, they want these numbers or better." I could hear the fatigue and frustration clearly. 

"Well, I hate to say "I told you so", but this was predictable. How long will it take you to put the plan together?" I asked.

"It's scheduled to be done in two weeks; at the end of the month. No extensions! I'm going to have to gather all my staff and immerse myself in this thing. I'm afraid my communications are going to suffer, Mark. Please don't be angry with me. I'll do the best I can to stay in touch." she pleaded. 

"I know, Jo. I understand. I'll let Lindsay know too. Just call when you need a break. Someone to talk to who doesn't need to know about the numbers." I had tried very hard to keep it light. I didn't want to discourage her after the effort she had made to improve her contact with us. I would try very hard to be understanding for the next two weeks.

I wasn't surprised that we only had three calls from Jo during that period. She had a short deadline and a demanding target and it would leave little time for herself. I had continued to notice the changes in her appearance each time I saw her and although they were gradual, they were evident. What brought it all into focus was purely by chance one night. On her last visit, I had taken some digital photos with my new camera while she and Pat Carver and the kids were out on the deck. I unloaded the camera into my lap-top computer and then into the file marked 'Family'. I opened the file and began looking at some of the pictures. I was looking at some shots taken last summer when we had replaced the old deck on our patio with a new larger one. I looked at the pictures I had taken of Jo in her sundress and as I scanned through the newer pictures, I came upon the ones I had just taken. I couldn't believe the difference. I pulled up last year's picture and set it along side the ones I had just taken. It didn't look like the same woman. She was gaunt; not just in her face, but in her body as well. She clearly had lost significant weight and although she was of sturdy Scandinavian stock, her recent appearance left her looking almost frail. I couldn't believe the difference and now I was truly worried about her health. I knew I would have to do something, but the question was what. First I had to get Jo to recognize her situation. 




A House Divided Ch. 03



I called our family doctor, Don Trimble, the next morning and asked for an appointment. I was due for a general checkup, but I really wanted to talk to him about Jo and see if he could give me some advice. I printed out a couple of the pictures of Jo from last year and the recent visit to give him an idea of what had changed. 

"My goodness, Mark. These are dramatic changes in her. She looks pale and possibly anemic in these recent photos. How long has this been going on?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"About six months. It's been a gradual thing and I guess I didn't really realize how big the changes were until I saw the photos last night."

"Well, you've a right to be worried. She needs a complete checkup; right away. When can she come in?" he asked.

"That's the problem. She lives in Chicago and she's never here. I'm going to have to convince her to get this done on her own." I said.

"Do you think she's got an eating disorder?" he asked.

"No, she got a work disorder. She took a new job six months ago and ever since then, she's been driving herself mercilessly. I think this is a result of too much work, bad diet and too little rest and sleep." I said.

"Well, that would account for the weight loss and her appearance. There are some other hidden problems that could crop up, Mark."

"Such as?"

"Heart attack, stroke, embolism, ulcers, and assorted other wretched problems when you decide to neglect your body." He passed all this along in his matter-of-fact voice.

"I need some advice on what to do. She's not here and I need to get her to understand what she's risking." I said in an almost frantic voice.

"Well, you can't force her. You'll have to convince her that she needs to change her lifestyle and do something before it's too late."

"I don't have a hope in hell of doing that. I've been trying for six months to get her to understand what this will do to her health and I don't think she's heard a word I've said." I was discouraged and a bit frightened. If my doctor could see the dangers, then I wasn't exaggerating the risks to her. Somehow, I had to get her to understand she needed to change. I wasn't optimistic.

-0-

In early October, Jo resumed what she would describe as her normal routine. Her plan was completed and filed and she was back on the road. While we did get a few phone calls from her, she was running to catch up from the time she spent on the plan and needless to say, she didn't call very often. I tried manfully to talk to her about her health and the changes I saw, but while she listened and agreed to try and improve her diet and lifestyle, I had little confidence much would change. However, for the purposes of consistency, I made it a topic of every phone conversation we had. 

We didn't see Jo in October. She was still trying to catch up and couldn't fit us into her travel schedule until November. We had planned a big Thanksgiving family get-together and she had committed herself to be there for the full four days. The weather had changed, the leaves had turned and begun to drop and Pete was now established at University for his freshman year. He was able to come home on the weekends that didn't have a football home game and so he stayed in touch with Lindsay as best he could. She had handled his leaving pretty well; perhaps because her relationship with her mother had improved. I was proud of the effort she made to reconcile with Jo and it had helped take the pressure off me.

It was the second week of November and I was sitting in my office, staring the laptop screen without seeing what was on it. I was daydreaming and only the sound of the phone brought me out of it. I answered it with my usual preparedness to hang up if it was another telemarketer.

"Mr. Mark Holmes?"

"Yes?" I answered cautiously.

"This is Mercy General Hospital in Los Angeles calling. Is your wife's name Joanne Holmes?" It was a woman's voice.

"Yes, that's right. What's happened? Is she hurt? I was fully awake and a bolt of fear passed through me.

"Your wife is in Intensive Care here. She was admitted after she collapsed at a restaurant earlier this evening."

"What's her condition? Is she awake?" I was beginning to panic and I had raised my voice.

"I can only tell you that she is under care here at the hospital and that her condition is listed as serious." the woman replied.

"Who is her Doctor? Can I talk to him?" I asked; again in near panic.

"She's being looked after by the emergency staff doctor. He can't come to the phone right now. Perhaps you can talk to him later." She was looking to conclude the conversation.

"What is your location?" I asked.

"This is Mercy General Hospital on Sepulveda Boulevard. Any cab company will know were to find us." 

I tried to get more information on her condition but it proved fruitless. I looked at my watch. It was twenty minutes past ten. That would make it twenty past eight in Los Angeles. I needed to get to L.A. as fast as possible. I also needed to get someone to look after Lindsay. I rushed upstairs to her bedroom and knocked on the door. Her light was out, but she responded right away. 

"What is it Dad?" she asked seeing the look on my face.

"It's your mother, Lindsay. She's in hospital. Something has happened to her and I need to get to Los Angeles right away. I'm going to have to find someone to look after you while I'm gone."

"I want to go too Dad. She's my mom. I need to be there too." she pleaded.

I was about to argue with her and then decided she had a right to be there as well. It would be part of the reconciliation I hoped.

"All right, Lindsay. I'm going to arrange for the tickets. If you have to get up early, I'll wake you. Otherwise, we'll get up at our usual time and pack some clothes. OK?" 

"Is she going to be all right, Dad? she asked; concerned.

"I don't know, honey. I guess we'll find out when we get there. Now get some sleep; we'll have a long day tomorrow." I kissed her and quietly left her bedroom and headed back to my computer. I quickly looked up non-stop Northwest flights to L.A. and found one with space at 11am tomorrow morning and arriving in the early afternoon. I quickly booked and paid for the tickets with my credit card, chose our seats and printed our ticket confirmations. I looked up Mercy General and figured out where it was on the Mapquest reference and then began to look for a hotel. I found a Holiday Inn nearby and booked two singles for us for three days. I would extend our stay if necessary. I looked at my watch and it was almost eleven. Too late to call Pete. I would catch him in the morning before he went to class and let him know what was going on. Finally, I went upstairs to my bedroom and pulled out a small, wheeled suitcase. I wouldn't need much in the way of clothes other than casual. I could be packed in a few minutes and decided to leave it for the morning.

I tried very hard to get some sleep, but it was more than difficult. I couldn't help but think of my conversation with Don Trimble and his doomsday scenario of what might have happened to her. I must have finally drifted off sometime after two in the morning because I woke with a start at six when the radio came on. I rose and headed down the hall to Lindsay's room. She was up and moving so I headed back to my bathroom and got myself ready for the day. I called Pete and told him what was happening. He was naturally upset and wanted to go with us as well, but I insisted we would keep him informed. He reluctantly agreed. I called Lindsay's school and let them know she would be away for a few days and I called my office and asked my pool secretary to put the phone on call-forward to my cell phone. That covered the basics. I would take my laptop with me to stay in touch via e-mail as necessary. 

We left Minneapolis on time and arrived a couple of minutes early at LAX. We took a cab to the hotel and checked in; dumped our bags in the rooms and then caught a cab to the hospital. We checked in at the front desk and inquired as to Jo's location and who the attending physician was. We headed up to the fifth floor in search of her room. After a ten minute walk, we found Jo's room. Lindsay gasped when she saw her mother; alone in the room, her nose and mouth obscured by tubes and electronic monitors taped to her in several locations. The soft beep-beep-beep of the heart monitor was the first sound we heard before the raspy sound of Jo's breath became evident. She wasn't conscious and there was no one in the room. The sign on the door indicated no visitors. We stood there for several minutes before we moved down the hall to the nursing station. We needed to find her doctor and find out exactly what had happened to her.

After nearly an hour, the doctor came out to see us. He was Asian and young and looked very tired. I was hoping he would have some answers for us.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Tran. Your wife is in serious condition, Mr. Holmes. She has apparently collapsed from exhaustion. She was badly dehydrated and my initial blood work indicates she's anemic. Can you tell me what her normal weight should be?" He had spit this all out in a blur of words and I was still trying to digest everything he had said. It was Lindsay who responded to his question.

"She usually weighs between 135 and 140 pounds." Lindsay offered.

"Well, her current weight is 109 pounds. I think we can see a pattern here Mr. Holmes. She needs complete rest. She'll need a diet plan and a graduated exercise plan. One thing for certain; she won't be fit for work for some time." he concluded in a no-nonsense tone.

"If I have my way, she won't be going back to work at all." I mumbled. "Thank you doctor. You've been very frank. When do you think we'll be able to take her home?"

"It's going to be a few days before I would recommend it. She's very weak and air travel isn't easy on the body. I'd say a week; give or take." He smiled slightly at me and then Lindsay. He had figured out the dynamics of this situation pretty quickly and realized these conditions were brought on by his patient's obsessive commitment to work. He'd seen it many times before and he would see it many times in the future. "If you need anything else, you know where to find me." he concluded.

"Doctor, here's my card. It has my cell phone number on it. Please give me a call when you think I can talk to her?"

"Why don't you come back tomorrow morning after ten? She should be more responsive then. Right now I've got her sedated to help reduce the stress on her. Check with the nursing station for updates. I'm not very reliable when it comes to phoning patient's family." he smiled.

"Understood ... and thanks for your help." I said sincerely.

I turned to Lindsay and let a big breath out; blinking my eyes to hold back the tears. 

"Well, I guess the good news is that your mom is probably going to be OK." I said with relief.

Lindsay's tears trickled down her cheeks and she just nodded in agreement. I took her hand and we went over to the window on Jo's room and looked at her again. Her eyes were closed, the monitor continued its slow beep-beep-beep and the sound of her breathing continued in a regular pattern. I tugged at Lindsay's hand and we walked down the corridor toward the elevators.

We took a taxi back to the hotel and I arranged for a rental car with the agent at the lobby kiosk. It was past six on Thursday night and I asked Lindsay if she was hungry. When she nodded yes, I suggested we head for the dining room and have dinner. I'm sure she was as tense and exhausted as I was and I knew it would be an early night for both of us. During dinner I thought about my plans for the next week and decided to talk to Lindsay about them.

"I think you should head home on Sunday, Lindsay. You've got mid-terms coming up soon and you can't afford to miss too much school. I'll call Mrs. Carver and see if you can stay with her until your mom and I get home next week. Can you live with that?" I asked.

"I'd rather stay here with you, dad. I want to be with mom when she gets better." she said without pleading.

"You're going to have plenty of time for that when she's home with us again. I don't want you missing any more school. You have big plans for yourself, remember. I still want to see you and Pete at U. of M. together. I guess I'm asking you to do this for me. OK?"

"OK, dad. How will I get home?"

"I'll book you a ticket for Sunday and make sure you have enough money for a cab to Mrs. Carver's." I thought for a moment. "If she can't take you, then you can stay at your grandparents. Which would you prefer?" I asked.

"Mrs. Carver's is closer to school and I can get my stuff from home. Otherwise, Gramma would have to drive me everywhere."

"OK, it's settled then. Mrs. Carver's is first choice." I said smiling.

When we returned to our room, I called Pat Carver and luckily she was home and still up. She instantly agreed to take Lindsay for as long as we needed and then proceeded to quiz me on Jo and what had happened. I had given her a brief synopsis of the doctor's report and I could hear her vocal groans and sighs as I relayed her condition. 

"Mark, when you get her home, you can count on me as her personal supervisor, trainer and dietitian. We're going to get Jo back to where she was; that's a promise." It wasn't a boast; it was a pure statement of intent. I was once again reminded of the value of good friends when you really needed them. 

When I hung up, I realized I had talked to her for almost an hour. Since I had put both my office and home phone on call forward, I knew there had been no calls on either phone that I hadn't already taken. I walked over to the closed connecting door to Lindsay's room and knocked. There was no answer. I couldn't hear the TV or any other noise and I concluded that she had gone to bed or at least had fallen asleep. I was tired, but my mind was still racing at warp speed. I picked up my wallet, room card and a note pad from the desk and quietly slipped out the door and headed for the lobby.

The bar was lightly populated at nine on a Thursday night. A solitary piano player was noodling quietly in the corner and a handful of people were sitting at various tables. I chose a small booth off to the side and when the waitress came, ordered a Scotch. I pulled out the pad and began writing all the things that had been going through my mind in the past two days. Tomorrow morning, I would phone Jo's parents and tell them what had happened and that I would keep them up to date. After that, I would call my parents to give them the same information. Then, I would phone the Human Resources Department of her company and make sure that she had Long Term Disability Insurance as well as full medical coverage. I was damned if I was going to pay for what they had driven her too. None of them had even had the courtesy to phone me to inform me of her situation. I also wanted to give Shel Moskovitch, our family lawyer, a 'heads-up' in case I needed his help with her company. First thing tomorrow, I would book Lindsay's flight and let Pat know when she was arriving. Pat insisted on picking her up and wouldn't hear of letting her take a cab.

The next morning, I booked Lindsay's flight. She was leaving at nine thirty, Sunday morning, so traffic wouldn't be an issue. She would arrive just after four in the afternoon and again, traffic coming out of the airport area wouldn't be too bad. I had the hotel print off her boarding pass with her seat assignment. I called Jo's parents and that took almost an hour. They were very upset and each wanted to hear all the details for themselves. I promised to keep them updated on her condition. I stopped them from flying out to be here only because I convinced them there was little they could do and with any luck, I would have her home in a few days. I called my parents and they too were deeply concerned; my father obviously sensing the cause of this breakdown and expressing the hope that her career was over permanently. I couldn't have agreed with him more. 

The call to the Human Resources Department of Jo's firm was less satisfying. They were reluctant to give out personal information over the phone to someone who could only claim to be Jo's husband. Worse than that, they were unaware that she was in hospital in Los Angeles. Apparently, none of their high-flying executive had thought it necessary to inform them of her collapse and confinement. I was once again becoming angry and after having threatened to put the whole business in the hands of my lawyer, they reluctantly agreed that their hospitalization plan would completely cover Jo's stay in Los Angeles, her airfare home and any hospitalization she would require in Eden Prairie. Their L.T.D.I. plan covered her for up to two years on agreement by both our doctor and their medical consultant. I was relieved that the financial burden was lifted and her company would be responsible for her recovery costs; including physiotherapy, doctor's visits and even psychiatric care; if required. I smiled ruefully to myself when I calculated that her medical costs would easily exceed her salary for the six months of slavery that she had endured. 

Friday morning had dawned warm and hazy in the West Los Angeles area. It was one of those November days you often saw on TV when Southern Cal played Notre Dame; warm even for L.A. Lindsay and I had a leisurely breakfast and I went and picked up our rental car in the parking lot and we drove to the hospital in time for the ten o'clock visiting hours. I found I was anxious with butterflies in my stomach as I anticipated whether Jo would be conscious. When we arrived, the Venetian blinds were closed and we couldn't see inside her room. I walked back to the nurses station and inquired and was told her doctor was with her and we should wait a few minutes until he could talk to us. We returned to her room and sat in the chairs in the hallway outside her door. A few minutes later, Dr. Tran and a nurse came out of Jo's room and he immediately saw me and smiled.

"Good news, Mr. Holmes. Your wife is awake and alert. She's weak and I don't want you to be with her too long to start with, but she's been asking for you both since she found out you were here." 

I felt an instant jolt of adrenalin pass through me and it was all I could do to stop from running into her room. Lindsay was first to her side.

"Oh, mom, mom ... I was so scared." she cried.

"It's OK, baby. I'm going to be all right. I'm so glad you're here." she said in a weak voice.

I looked at her gaunt face and saw the fatigue and lack of color that had frightened me yesterday. But the nose mask and throat tube were gone with only the I.V. in her arm visible. She smiled weakly at us and I could see the tears forming. 

"You're going to be OK, Jo. I talked to Dr. Tran and he said we can take you home in a few days." I smiled.

"Oh, Mark. I'm so sorry. I was so wrong. I just couldn't see it. I was so wrong." she said miserably.

"Don't worry about it, Jo. We're going to get you back to your old self. You'll be surprised how fast you can recover." I said optimistically. 

We talked for a few minutes as I told Jo what we had been told about her condition and how we had learned of her collapse. After we had chatted about home and where we were staying and when Lindsay would be going home, I noticed Jo's eyes begin to close now and then and I knew it was time to go.

"We'll be back this afternoon, Jo. Get some rest and we'll see you then." I looked at her and realized how much I loved her and that I would do everything possible to bring her back to full health. We bid her a tearful goodbye and walked out of her room.

It was a little before noon by the time I had extracted the car from the hospital parking garage and decided we needed a break for a few hours. I remember the rental car map of the area and had a look at where we were. As it happened, we weren't far from Manhattan Beach; a favorite hangout for surfers, skateboarders and pulchritudinous blondes in bikinis on their rollerblades. Lindsay could ogle the bleach-blonde surfer dudes and I could ogle the bleach-blonde babes. It would be good therapy for both of us. 




A House Divided Ch. 03



I found a little Irish pub with a sidewalk table setup and with a bit of good luck, was able to order my favorite Irish beer, Harp Lager. Lindsay had an iced tea and we both had a sandwich for our lunch. It was warm with that typical LA hazy sun, even on the water, but it was a pleasant change from the cold winds of winter that were soon to visit us back home. We talked and planned Jo's homecoming and what we would do at Thanksgiving to make it even more special. Naturally, the grandparents would be there and we knew Pete would be home from University, so it was a matter of who else we could invite. I asked Lindsay to discretely find out if Pat Carver had any family plans for that holiday. I knew her parents lived in Iowa and wondered if they would be making a visit. If not, I would happily invite her, Alicia and Brandon to join us. I was enjoying the idea of having Jo back with us; hopefully forever.

Our afternoon visit was much like the morning visit. There were times when we didn't talk, just sat and held hands and took comfort in her presence. She seemed happy with that as well. I had told her that Lindsay would be going home on Sunday and staying with Pat and Jo was very happy with that. She also told us more than once how happy she was that we were there. I told her that I had talked to her folks as well as mine and they all wished her a speedy recovery. I wasn't sure if she would be up to talking to them on the phone yet, but we could arrange that when she was. After a few minutes, she showed signs of drowsiness again and Lindsay and I kissed her and left quietly. We would return after dinner for the evening visit.

On Saturday, Lindsay and I did a bit of sightseeing and generally just killed time between our visits with Jo. She seemed stronger today and a bit more alert. She didn't get drowsy as quickly as she had on Friday. I found I was constantly looking at my watch to make sure we weren't late getting to the hospital. That evening Lindsay and Jo had a tearful farewell and in a way, I was happy. They had restored their relationship and it was a genuine tonic to Jo, I was sure. I took Lindsay to the airport on Sunday morning and we talked about what she was going to do when she got home. I reminded her of our 'stealth plan' for Thanksgiving and told her to phone both grandparents when she got in to let them know she was back and where she was staying. I watched her walk down into the tunnel leading to the plane, taking a quick look over her shoulder to smile and wave as she disappeared. I headed back toward the hotel and in a last minute decision, changed my route to Manhattan Beach. My little bar with the Irish beer was perfect for a Sunday lunch.

When I arrived at Jo's room, she was gone. The bed was unmade and I wondered where she could be. The answer was that she was out for a ride in a wheelchair and she was just on her way back with a Candy-Striper at the helm. She had her I.V. bag along side on a pole and she was smiling as she saw me peer around the corner. 

"Hi. Look at me ... mobile again." she laughed. "This is what passes for exercise right now. At least it's a change of scenery." 

"You look much better, Jo. You've got some color back." I enthused.

"I feel better, Mark. I'm not there yet, but I feel better." she said in a serious tone.

The young girl helped Jo into her bed and pushed the button to raise the head of the bed more upright. She plumped the pillows behind Jo's back and bid her goodbye until later.

"Lindsay's on her way back home and Pat's going to pick her up at the airport." I reported.

"Honey, there's something I need to tell you." Jo interrupted.

"What's that?" I asked, smiling.

"I'm going to resign. I'm going to write a letter of resignation as soon as I can. I can't do this anymore."

"No you are not!" I said with mock indignation.

"What do you mean? I said I'm going to resign. Isn't that what you want?" she asked in a bewildered voice.

"Jo, you are going to remain a loyal employee of your company. You are going on their Long Term Disability Plan where you will receive 75% of your gross salary for a period of up to two years or whenever you can be declared fit by your doctor to return to full time employment. Then, and only then, you will resign! Understood?" I had carefully given her this statement in a theatrical voice to make sure she knew I wasn't arguing with her. 

"Oh." was her only reply. I saw the smile creep slowly over her face. "You really don't like these people, do you?" Her eyes were sparkling for the first time in months.

"No, not much." I laughed. 

"Well, you saw it much sooner than I did." she said, now serious. "The night I got sick, I was sitting in the bar with a bunch of the local executive and a couple of my bosses from Chicago. They were all laughing about how the November and December projections were so much better than plan. They were going to buy a bunch more stock before they let a press release out indicating that the results were better than the 'street projections'. On top of that, they had arbitrarily upped the forecasts for the first quarter of next year without telling me. They thought it was a big joke. They were going to sell their stock at the big price in December with the good news and buy it back in February when we fell short of projections and the stock dropped. They had some scheme worked out that the S.E.C. wouldn't catch on to. They called it 'vacation money'.

"Well, well; isn't that interesting. I'll bet the S.E.C. would love to hear about this game." I said in what must have been a sneering tone. My mind went back to my conversation with Shel Moskovitch and I though I would give him a call on Monday. "I think I have a way to let the S.E.C. know without them having to reveal the source. You don't need the kind of hassle they would produce if they thought you were the informant on their game. Do you own much stock?" I asked.

"Some ... about two thousand shares I think. Why?" she asked in a curious tone.

"Sell it. That way no one can say you could profit from this little swindle. Besides, we don't need the cash. It's just another tax burden." I laughed.

"Oh god, Mark. I was so blind. I was so determined to succeed I couldn't see what I was doing to us. It was like being an addict; I couldn't stop. I was feeding on the work and the results. We kept getting better and I kept getting encouragement and it was like a snowball rolling down the hill." 

I was delighted that she now saw clearly how she had been used and happily went along with it. I had no doubt that her pals in Chicago had already replaced her and would continue their relentless push for more. I looked at her and stood up, leaned over and kissed her; at first gently and then, as she pulled me to her, more forcefully. We looked at each other wordlessly and the tears began to form in her eyes again. I was now sure she was back with me again. 

"First things first." I said. "We've got to get you out of here and back to our home. I think you can count on a warm homecoming with your family. Thanksgiving isn't that far away and we're going to have a dandy time; I promise you." I said it this time with the conviction that I was right; it would be a true Thanksgiving for the Holmes family.

-0-

I brought Jo home on the mid-morning Northwest flight on Thursday of the following week. She had been discharged on Wednesday morning, but we wanted at least a day to ourselves to get her ready for the homecoming. We went sightseeing, stopped at Manhattan Beach for lunch and walked along the sea-walk for an hour or so; stopping along the way to allow Jo to rest. It was another unusually warm November day and a light sweater was all she needed to keep warm. Hospital food had done nothing for her weight loss and I was determined that we would begin the 'fattening up' process as soon as we were home.

When we walked through the tunnel into the arrivals area of the airport in Minneapolis it looked like half of Eden Prairie was there. Lindsay, Pete, Pat Carver, both our parents, half the staff in Jo's former Bloomington office, and probably others that I missed. Jo was in tears at the sight of them all and I could only stand off to the side and watch with pride and appreciation at the welcoming of her friends and family. I guessed this would be a big energy boost to my wife and I was very grateful for this display of affection.

Our Thanksgiving Holiday was something special. The house was full to overflowing with guests and family. Pat even took in a couple at her house to help with the shortage of space. The weather was typical November in Minnesota; cold and raw. There wouldn't be any patio parties so we just had to make do with what we had indoors. The unfinished basement became a storage space as well as a temporary bedroom for a couple of pets that were brought along. The change in Jo was wonderful. She had regained her color and her energy; although I wasn't about to let her do too much. If she had gained any weight in the two weeks she had been home, I couldn't detect it, but each day she seemed to be getting stronger. We had started her off with obligatory afternoon naps and early bedtimes, but somehow, the Thanksgiving period pushed a lot of those rules to the side. She had plenty of help in the kitchen with our two mothers as well a various volunteers in the coming and going of visitors. I saw her smile very often that weekend and I have to say it was just as important for me as it was for her. 

In the following months, Pat and Lindsay became Jo's personal instructors for diet and exercise. They were relentless; bordering on maniacal when it came to her recovery. Of course, they were full participants as well. Jo gained almost twenty of her lost pounds back in four months and thought she would like to stop there. She had always felt she was a bit heavy. Pat lost ten pounds herself and was delighted with the results. She claimed it was the reason she had a new man in her life. Lindsay was full of energy and had become very close to her mother again. I just stood on the sidelines and watched all this unfold before me. Jo and I would go for a walk in the neighborhood each evening after dinner if the weather permitted. As spring approached and the days grew longer, we walked a bit further and often had nothing to talk about, but enjoyed each other's company. We stopped and talked to our neighbors and generally enjoyed our life again.

Jo never went back to work. She volunteered at the Senior's Center a couple of times a week and kept up her membership in the fitness club. I continued with my agency and surprisingly, new business began to appear. I'm not sure why, but I didn't care. It was a nice side benefit with no extra work involved. Jo's employer tried to get her off the LTDI plan, but her doctor would have none of it for at least a year. Finally, we both agreed there was no need to continue and we notified their insurer that she was fit. On the day we filed the notification, Jo sent her formal resignation in to the Chicago office. We had long since cleared out her belongings from the corporate apartment and I was amazed at how little there was. Almost all of it was clothing; mostly black and severe and all of it was donated to the Good Will. She kept a couple of pairs of shoes she liked, but seldom wears them except when we venture out for dinner or a party. During the summer, the S.E.C. announced an investigation into irregular trading of stock within Jo's old company and while nothing was announced, it was obvious that someone had tipped off the regulator to the "shenanigans" with the stock among the executives the previous winter. No indictments were announced, but the investigation was ongoing. There was a rumor at the Bloomington office that the I.R.S. had been sniffing around as well. As for Jo's stock; we sold it in November and put the money in an actual "vacation account" at our bank. I thought the irony of it all was delicious.

And so we are back to our perfect life in our perfect house with our perfect family. The relationship between Jo and I is stronger than ever and she and I have put the past behind us. She almost paid a price too high for her ambition, but in the end, we have recovered from a near disaster and our marriage, family and happiness have been restored. I couldn't ask for more.

-0-

"Can't you see that I'm lonely, rescue me!" Is a line from Aretha Franklin's "Rescue Me". Used without permission.