53 comments/ 170077 views/ 11 favorites A Day Early: Julie's Story By: thecelt Tom told me a day ago that he would be out of town for a two-day meeting. He would leave tomorrow, and if things went to schedule he could fly out Friday morning or early afternoon and be home by dinner Friday. He traveled a lot in his job as an engineer but usually only short trips like this. I didn't mind as it gave me some time away from him. It's not that I didn't love my husband. Tom was a good father, a gentle lover and a wonderful provider. He had never given me any cause to want to be away from him but our marriage didn't seem to be enough for me after the baby was born. Our lovemaking didn't satisfy me and Tom wasn't able to meet my needs for companionship. I wasn't sure what the problem was but I wasn't happy. The problem seemed to begin just after Rachael was born. The birth was easy, she was perfect and we loved her to death. Tom couldn't get enough of her and spent most of his free time playing with her and taking us both out to eat or shop or just enjoy the day. I found myself resenting the time he spent with her. He would stop everything just to be with her and when I wanted to spend some time with just him, he couldn't understand why I didn't want her with us. I thought that if we could resume lovemaking, he would once again pay more attention to me. I don't know why I felt this way, but I did. The first time we tried to make love after Rachael's birth, it was terrible. I was impatient, Tom was clumsy and he was being too gentle. I wanted him to make love to me, not pamper me! I finally got angry and told him to get with it! He did, but almost as soon as he tried to enter me, he went limp. I was furious with him and, as a result, he was unable to perform that time. I was so angry that I remember yelling at him and I think I laughed at him, and called him a wimp or something like that. The next few times were only slightly better but none of them left me with any kind of satisfaction. We tried to get into a routine, but most of the time, I just faked it to get it over with. I wanted Tom to be more aggressive and to just take me like he used to. He seemed to want to take things slow and just cuddle and make love. That wasn't enough and I couldn't think of a way to tell him to just fuck me instead of making love to me. Sounds crazy but that is the way it was. I began to wait for Tom to come home so that I could let him take over with Rachael so I could pamper myself. I would usually go take a warm bubble bath after dinner while Tom played with the baby. I sometimes dried myself off and went to bed early with a book or with the TV on. I had no interest in going into the den to play with him and Rachael. I began to plan her evenings with Tom so that I was not even needed. Tom did not seem to mind and he enjoyed his time with her so I thought, no harm. Things got to the point that I hardly talked to him after he got home and just did my thing. It was only on weekends that we behaved as a family. I didn't enjoy it, but I couldn't disappear all day. One day after Tom went to work, I took Rachael over to her grandmother's place. That was Tom's mother and father's home in Boardman. She loved to baby sit with Rachael. I had called and told her I needed to run some errands and wouldn't be able to take the baby where I had to go. She agreed so I dropped her off at about 10:00 that morning. I went into town to see John Williams, my old boss at the bank. John had hired me right out of college and had become a good friend as well as a boss. He knew Tom and they played golf together occasionally. I wanted to speak with him about getting back to work. He welcomed me into his office and asked after my family and my new daughter. I told him that all was well and that Rachael was doing great. Growing fast and healthy. "The problem is, John, that I need to get back to work. I'm going crazy without anyone to talk to and something to keep my mind busy. A baby is a lot of hard work but it is way short on stimulation for the mind. I need adults to talk to. I want to come back." I was close to tears as I talked with him. I wanted to say more about my life at home but didn't. "Julie, you know you are welcome anytime you want to come back. I did hire a new man, Richard Means, but not for your job. You know we had an opening anyway so when you left on maternity leave, I filled the second opening, but kept yours open. Richard is working on loan approvals, but if you come back, I will move him to corporate loans. That should suit everyone. OK with you?" John seemed pleased that I wanted to come back because I had been one of the best. Richard was young and inexperienced but worked hard. This move would be best for both. "That's great John. I'll get things in order at home and try to start the beginning of the month. That's just two weeks away." "How does Tom feel about your returning to work? I didn't think he would want you working with the baby at home." John was curious, as he knew Tom's feelings about Julie working. They had played golf on several occasions and were friends, although not close. "Tom doesn't know my feelings yet but I wanted to talk with you first to be sure my job was still here. I'll tell him tonight. I'm sure he will be OK with it." I knew that was a lie but I was going to go back to work in any event. If Tom didn't like it, that was too bad. That is what led to one of our more violent disagreements. I decided to make Tom feel good so I deliberately faked a major orgasm as we made love at my instigation that evening. I had decided to tell him as we lay together after intercourse. I did and he hit the roof. The conversation was bad mainly because Tom figured out that I had already made the decision and hadn't asked him for his opinion. I simply told him what I was doing and made no attempt to make him part of the decision. I didn't feel bad when he got angry; rather I got angry also and just shut him down. It felt good. That had bothered me later because I didn't know why I took delight in shutting Tom out of my choice to go to work. I also remembered saying some things to Tom that were harsh and cruel and I even made a remark about Rachael that was totally inappropriate. As I thought back on that night, I felt a cold shudder go down my spine. I wasn't sure what that was but I dismissed it. When I returned to work two weeks later, it was as if I had never left. It felt good, it felt right and I did not miss the crying and spilling and whining from a 1½ year old at all. I got right into it and within a week I was back to normal. The only thing different was Richard. He was new and he was young and he was good looking. All those things combined into one guy. Wow! As things got back to normal at work, they just got worse at home. I usually arrived home first, got dinner ready and ran over to pick up Rachael. By the time Tom got home, I had lost the good feelings I had during the day at work and things just began to get intense and I began to get angry. That's when I began to leave Rachael to Tom and go off to take a bath, or to read or watch TV. I wanted to keep away from both of them so that I wasn't constantly reminded of this life that I wanted to be away from. Things began to get into a routine at work and at home and nothing changed for a good 4 months. Then John Williams called me into his office and asked me if I would like to make a change to commercial loans rather than continue with personal loans. I told him that I thought Richard had that job. John said that he did but that the corporate office wanted to expand the commercial loan business. That would mean Richard would not be able to handle the extra load. "Julie, you know you are very good at this business. While Richard is young and aggressive, he doesn't have the tact and finesse that you do. He needs someone like you on his staff and I want you to be that person. It will mean a raise and a promotion for you. I would give the department head job to you if it were my choice. But, corporate has picked Richard to head the department. Will you do it?" John looked at me intently. This was a major move for me, and one that I couldn't pass up. It would mean more money but more importantly, it would be a new challenge. I needed that challenge at this point in my life. "You bet I'll take it. When do we start?" I smiled and watched John relax. I didn't tell Tom about the change right away. I just told him that there was going to be a new department and that I would like to be part of it. Tom was not very interested in what I had to say about work so it just went right by him. Actually, that was my intent. I'm not sure why, but I didn't want to mention that I would be working for and with Richard Means. Tom had met Richard and had nothing good to say about him. He thought him to be arrogant and conceited. I didn't agree and thought he was cute and very sexy. For the next two months, I worked with Richard and learned the commercial language and twists, those that were different from the personal loan field. Richard was very good at his job and I did quickly learn the tricks of the trade from him. We worked together on several big loan accounts and were successful. I finally was able to begin taking some of the smaller loans on my own and closed most of them without problem. We had just been contacted to handle a major client for a loan that would be the biggest we had worked on to date. Richard wanted both of us to handle this one just to be sure. I agreed and we made plans to begin the research. We had been working all morning on one of the client's subsidiaries for information and background when Richard suggested we go to lunch. For some reason, we had never been out together for lunch or any meetings. It just had never happened. So this was a first for both of us. I accepted and we went to the local Holiday Inn for lunch. We had eaten and were finishing up when Richard jokingly mentioned that we should just get a room here at the Holiday Inn and work there. When we got tired we could just have some fun before we got back to work. He blushed as he realized what he had said. I just looked at him and smiled. I said, "And what kind of fun would a young man like you have with an older woman like me?" I wanted to see what he would say. "I don't think of you as an older woman. You are beautiful and sexy and certainly not old. I would be glad to show you what kind of fun we could have." He was certainly not offended or embarrassed to the point where he missed an opportunity, when presented. "Why don't we make plans to do as you suggest then, say tomorrow?" I held my breath waiting for his response. "You're on. I'll get the room and tell John that we have a client meeting here at the hotel. Are you sure you want to do this? I know you are married and have a daughter. I do not want to be part of anything that would cause you a problem." "Why don't you let me worry about that? Let's see what happens, OK?" I wasn't sure what I was doing but I was not going to back down now. We returned to work and nothing more was said that day about our conversation. I worked till quitting time and went home without another word to Richard. I did intend to keep the date tomorrow but I would wait to see what he did. At home that evening, I was uneasy and unsure of myself. While in the bath, I wondered if I had the nerve to go through with what I had proposed to Richard. Later I looked at Tom with Rachael and wondered what had happened to our marriage that could lead me to this point in my life. I had a sudden feeling of panic and dread. I realized suddenly that I was planning on cheating on my husband and risking my marriage to Tom and my daughter. What was I doing? What had happened to me? I shuddered and began to cry. In order to cover up my tears, I turned away and went into the bedroom. I lay down on the bed and cried. I must have fallen asleep because Tom shook me awake and told me it was time for bed. I mumbled something to him and slid under the covers. Thank God we did not make love anymore. That would have been too much. When I awoke the next morning, I had forgotten my fears of the night before. As I got ready to go to work, I considered what the day might bring. I looked at my underwear drawer and riffled through it to find the only pair of thong panties I owned. They were almost new, as I never wore them after I bought them. They were red. I also had a red bra that I also never wore that I put on. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. I looked like an over aged tramp. Suited the mood I was in, so I left them on. I put on a white blouse with a light brown skirt that fit me like a glove. Once dressed, I liked the way I looked. I still could turn a few heads when I wanted. I put on some jewelry to finish the outfit and finally used some of the special perfume Tom had bought me on one of his trips overseas. With a leather blazer, I was ready for a day at the office, and with the underwear, a day with a virile young lover. Once again, I asked myself if I knew what I was doing. My answer was no, but what the hell! I wanted to do this and I was going to do this. I left for the office with a smile on my face. When I arrived at the bank, Richard was at his desk and signaled me over. "I told Mr. Williams that we had to leave about 11:00 for our meeting with the clients. He said it was OK and wished us luck." Richard was all smiles and gave me the once over as I leaned over the desk toward him. At this angle, he could see right down my blouse to my red bra and my breasts. I moved my arms closer together to push my breasts together, which made my cleavage more pronounced. Richard licked his lips and had trouble meeting my eyes. Good! We worked on separate accounts for the rest of the morning until, at about 10:45, Richard called over to me. "Julie, are you ready to go meet the clients?" "I'm ready to go. Just let me close down my computer." I answered nonchalantly. We left together without any body noticing anything out of the ordinary and got into Richard's car. I noticed his vanity plate of HOTONE, and commented on it. "What's the significance of the vanity plate? Who is the hot one? You?" I teased. "The vanity plate is one that I bought as a joke when I was dating the hottest girl in my senior class in high school. I just kept it from then on as a reminder of high school and the freedom we all had then." He kept looking over at me with a smile on his face. I knew that he liked what he saw. Richard took the right turn that would take us into the Holiday Inn parking lot. I expected him to park in front where there were plenty of parking spaces, but instead he went around to the back of the hotel. He pulled into a slot just beside a back door to the hotel. I wondered why he had done this and asked him. "I thought we could go in through the back door so no one could possibly see us and wonder why we were here at the hotel. Why?" "I just wondered since every one knew we were coming here to meet some clients. I don't think anyone would have thought otherwise." I was just a little put off by his making this dirty and clandestine. But then again, that is exactly what it was. If I was going to cheat on Tom, why couldn't I just admit it? Well, so be it. "You're right, I guess I just didn't think this through too well. It's probably because I am so excited by the thought of being here with you that I was too anxious." He was anxious and he appeared to be pale and sweating. What the hell was I doing with this kid? "Well, let's just go in and find our room. We can relax and enjoy our time together. Do you have a room key?" I wanted to get things moving before he collapsed! "OK. Here, let me open the door and we can go up to the second floor. Our room is 211, a king size single." With this, he grinned at me, looking for all the world like a teenager about to get lucky. Actually, since he was only 24 that was pretty close to the truth. Since I was 35, this was like I was Mrs. Robinson in that movie, The Graduate. With all the clues I was getting that I was doing was wrong, I still didn't have the slightest qualms about what I planned to do. There was no guilt, no second thoughts, and no worries about my marriage or my virtue. I just wanted to get fucked by this young stud, period. We found the room and Richard opened the door. He waited for me to enter and followed me in. He shut and locked the door and turned to me. "Well, what do you think? This is a pretty nice room." "I don't care what the room looks like. I'm not here for a decorating lesson." With that, I pushed him down on the bed and stepped back. I began to slowly unbutton my blouse while slowly moving my hips side to side. I took my time and watched his face as I opened my top to reveal my red bra. I slowly slid the blouse over my shoulders and down my arms and let it fall to the floor. His face was red and he was sweating even more than before in the car. I stopped and told him to turn on the air conditioning since it was going to get warm in the room. He complied and returned to the bed. I then reached behind me to unbutton the single button on my skirt and then to the zipper. I pulled it down, listening to the sound of the zipper as it moved. My skirt opened at the waist and I put my hands into the band and slowly wiggled out of the skirt, bending over as I did so. The view Richard was getting must have really turned him on since he began to rub his erection as he watched. I wiggled my hips side to side as the skirt fell to the floor. I stepped out of it and kicked it to the side. I stood there before this young stud in just a red bra and thong. "Like what you see? I wore this just for you. My husband has never even seen me like this. How does that make you feel?" I wanted to turn him on so that he would want me with a passion that was intense. I don't know what I was looking for, but I did want him to lose control. To do what, I wasn't sure. I knew that my thinking was dangerous but I didn't seem to be able to think clearly about anything else other than getting this kid as hot as I could. "I like what I see for sure." He licked his lips and stood up suddenly and began removing his clothes. He pulled his tie off and then his shirt, just barely keeping from ripping off the buttons. He then unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down to the floor. As I had, he kicked them into the corner. He had removed his shoes earlier so he sat there in his skivvies and socks. "Do you want some help with the rest?" I asked with a smile. "No thanks. I know what to do with these." He put both thumbs into the waistband of his shorts and pulled them down and over his erection. He straightened up and I looked at his cock. Not very large and not anything to brag about. Maybe that was good since he wasn't going to hurt me and I could deep throat him without any trouble. I compared him to Tom without conscious thought and Richard came off the worse. Well, I wasn't here with Tom. I was about to cheat on him for the first time in my life. Why? I didn't know. Was I sad? No. Did I feel guilty? No. I actually felt very little at that moment. I knew what I was going to do, but it was nothing special. I wanted to do it, but I didn't really have any feelings for Richard other than that he was here and I wanted to do this. Richard stood and came to me. He put his arms around me and pulled me to him. He kissed me and tried to put his tongue in my mouth. After a brief resistance, I opened to him and he entered with his tongue. He was rough and there was little finesse to what he was doing but I tried to go along. I put my tongue in his mouth and he seemed to like it. He finally put both hands on my ass and pulled me into his groin. His cock was hard against my stomach and I found it to be very uncomfortable. I pushed him back and smiled. A Day Early: Julie's Story "Let me feel what I am going to be getting. I don't want it pushing into my stomach, I want it somewhere else." With that, I reached between us and grabbed his cock in my hand. I began to jack him off to be sure he was hard and ready. I then dropped to my knees and held him just inches away from my lips. My tongue flicked out to take the first drops of pre cum that had formed. He tasted slightly salty and just a little sweet. I moved my lips over the tip of his cock and closed them. He jerked a little and I looked up to see his eyes closed and his head thrown back. He was not going to last long at this rate. I began to slide my lips down his shaft and then back up. I sucked and swirled my tongue and I moved up and down on his hard cock. I had one hand on his balls and the other stroking his cock as I sucked him off. I felt his balls tighten and knew he was close. I looked up at him but his eyes were still closed. He was close. I sucked harder and stroked faster and suddenly felt him shoot his load into the back of my mouth. I was able to swallow all he produced without any problem. I continued to suck him off as he softened in my mouth. "God, Julie, that was great. I never had a blowjob like that before. You are something else. Give me a minute to come back to earth." He was shaking and smiling. He grinned like an idiot. "Why don't you come over her and return the favor for me?" I asked him with a sexy grin. "I need to have your face buried in my sweet pussy." "Uh, I've never gone down on a girl before. I usually get hard real quick and then we fuck. I'm already getting hard again. See?" He looked a little sick at the thought of eating me out. That was not what I had expected. Tom had no problem going down on me and he actually enjoyed the pleasure it gave me. I couldn't see what Richard's problem was. Once again, I compared Richard to Tom. Richard enjoyed the blowjob but he expected to be the one getting the pleasure, not giving it. He wanted me to just wait till he got hard again and then just lay down so he could fuck me. Big deal. Tom was into giving me pleasure before his own. He would never refuse me anything and always made sure I was satisfied. He would give me oral before we had intercourse and made sure that I had at least one orgasm before we had sex. Again, I examined my feelings. There was still nothing for Richard but also no guilt thinking about Tom. I was here, I still wanted to get fucked, but that was all. No pleasure, no guilty feelings, no remorse and no thought about tomorrow. Richard was hard again and I moved over to the bed. He rolled over and held out his arms to me. I lay down on my side facing him and he began to fondle my breasts. He began to kiss my nipples and suck on them alternately. He put one hand between my legs and inserted a finger into my waiting pussy. He pushed his palm against my mound as he moved his finger in and out. He added a second finger and then a third until I began to hump against his hand. He buried his face in my tits and his warm breath on my breasts and his hand giving me pleasure made me moan with impatience. "I want that cock in me now! Put it in and do what we came here for. Do it now." I was wet and ready for that cock that I had been thinking about for the last two days. Richard rolled me over away from him and lifted my leg while he inserted his cock into my waiting pussy. I had never been fucked from behind while on my side in this manner and I waited to see what it would be like. He raised my leg and pulled it back toward him while he pushed into me. I was very wet and he had no problem entering me all the way. He quickly got a rhythm going and he was fucking me with a strong steady pace. He had been at it for only about 5 minutes when I felt him tense up. He increased his pace and pushed into me as far as he could and stopped. He blew his load into me. I couldn't believe it. He had come again and I had yet to have an orgasm. "That was fucking unbelievable! You are the best I have ever had." What a shithead this kid was. He was done and I had yet to begin. I didn't know what to do or say. I lay there thinking about what to do next. "I hate to tell you this Richard, but I have not even had an orgasm. I blew you, and let you fuck me, and you got off twice and I have nothing to show for it. What do you intend to do about that?" I have to admit that I was disappointed. It was a new feeling for me since Tom never let me down that way. To bad this wasn't Tom. "Sorry. I can do whatever you want me to do. That is except eat you out. I don't do that. How about if I finger you till you come? Would that be OK?" He looked eager to help me out but too much of a pussy to eat me. I guess I had to take what I could get. "OK, do me with your hand. Do what you were doing before you fucked me. I kind of liked that." I would settle for that. Richard climbed back on the bed, settled behind me and reached between my legs to put his hand on my mound. He slowly rubbed my clit till I began to hump against his hand. He then put two fingers back into me and began to move them rapidly in and out. I used my hand on his to slow him down and urged him to add another finger. He now had three fingers in me and his thumb was rubbing my clit. I added my hand to his and we began to finger fuck me slowly and steadily. As I began to feel some sensation, I urged him to increase his speed. With my hand on his, we pumped faster and faster and I began to rub my clit harder. After 10 minutes of this, I finally came. It was good but lacked something. It occurred to me that I had just masturbated using this kid's hand to do the work. Talk about being disappointed! I had better orgasms with my own fingers! We lay together on the bad; me breathing hard and him just holding me. This was not what I had expected from my first foray into infidelity. I had just fucked another man and I felt nothing but fatigue. Ironic, but that is the excuse I used to give Tom when he even bothered to suggest sex. Now, I was feeling real fatigue when just an hour ago I had such eagerness and enthusiasm. I was confused and disappointed and suddenly just a little concerned. What had I done? If this was what I thought was going to give me what I was missing, maybe I was confused about what it was that I wanted. This would take some time and thought on my part. I got up from the bed and told Richard that I was going to take a shower. I had brought some things from home in the overnight I carried, but I would have to dress in what I wore to the hotel. That meant putting on the red thong and bra. Somehow that now felt cheap, not sexy. I wasn't yet a professional whore! I didn't pack a change of clothes. I guess that was something. I went in and turned on the shower. I got in and just let the water wash over me. It felt good; actually it was the best I had felt for the last hour. I leaned against the wall and enjoyed the feeling of the water as it cleaned the sweat from by body. As I stood there, I suddenly felt a blast of cold air and Richard entered the shower. I was not really in the mood for another groping session, but I didn't say anything. Without any warning, Richard reached around me and put both hands on my breasts. He pulled me back against him and I could feel that he was hard again. The advantages of youth! He massaged my nipples and let one hand drop to my mound. He moved a finger between my swollen lips and just slid it up and down my slit. After a few minutes of this, I began to become aroused. I could feel the wetness increase and I wanted him to continue. Instead, he pushed me over till my hands were again resting on the shower walls. He took his cock in his hand and rubbed the head against my slit just as he had his fingers. I was ready! He pushed into me from behind and pulled me onto his cock with his hands on my hips. He began to fuck me hard and fast. This was more like it! This is what I had been expecting earlier. Maybe I could cum if he could keep this up for awhile. "Do you like this, slut?" Richard seemed to be a totally different person now than what he had been earlier. "Is this what you wanted me to do? Fuck you like a whore?" Richard pumped into me over and over and I felt a climax building. This was what I wanted. "Fuck me you bastard! Fuck me hard. Fuck my brains out!" I was yelling and pushing back against him and holding on for dear life. "Fuck me!" Richard pumped even faster and suddenly he stopped. He pulled me hard against him as he pumped his cum into me and I could feel his seed as it shot into me. I climaxed just as he shot his load and we both shuddered together as we came down from an extraordinary high. I had finally gotten what I had come here for: fucked like a whore. As the euphoria passed, I realized what I had become and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. I shrugged it off, letting the hot water run over me and wash away the results of my fall into infidelity. I remained in the shower as Richard got out. He dried himself off and said he would be in the room waiting for me. He said we had about 20 minutes before we had to go back to the office. I told him I would be out in a few minutes. I wanted to calm myself down. After another 5 minutes of water therapy, I exited the shower and dried myself off. My hair was wet but fortunately there was a hair dryer in the bathroom provided by the hotel. I was able to dry myself off and dry my hair and make myself presentable with some fresh makeup and a brush. I was feeling strange. Satisfied but on edge. I thought maybe it was the fact that I had just cheated on Tom, but as usual, the thought of Tom caused me to become angry. That was normal and what usually happened when I was at home with him or when he wanted to go out or have sex or any number of things. I was confused and needed time alone to think. Richard and I returned to the office without talking and completed the rest of the workday without any further interaction. As he got ready to leave, he came over to my desk. "I think we need to give ourselves a couple of days to think about where we go from here. OK?" I nodded. "I'll talk to you Monday." With that, he left and I got ready to go pick up Rachael. That was the first I had thought of my baby girl and the thought only made my confusion worse. I was really at a loss for what I was feeling and what I was going to do. After I got home that evening, I turned on the TV and put Rachael's favorite video in for her to watch while I got dinner. I wanted to make something special tonight but I just didn't have time. I was lost in thought as I heard Tom come home and stop to talk to Rachael. Just like him. His first thought was for the baby, always. I waited for him to come into the kitchen. He usually came in, gave me a quick hello and went to the fridge for a cold beer. Today was no exception. "How was your day today? Any interesting clients? How is Richard doing?" I knew he was just being polite since I knew he didn't like Richard. He had met him on several occasions and found him to be, in his words, a cocky, dumb geek. I had never thought much about it since I had originally resented the fact that I had to work for a kid 12 years my junior. I smiled as I remembered that kid in the shower today. Being a kid gave him the stamina that resulted in that last, but best, sex. "My day was as usual. At least it was stimulating." Why I said that I didn't know. Tom was just being Tom. He always asked about my day and usually listened if I had something to tell him. He knew I loved working and even though he would rather I not work, he was glad that I was happy. He didn't deserve what I had just said. "Someone's in a bad mood. Sorry I asked." He went into the other room to be with Rachael and it suddenly occurred to me that I had just pushed my husband away, verbally yes, but without provocation and with malice. That thought sent a cold chill through me that wasn't pleasant. What was wrong with me? I was suddenly scared and felt the beginnings of a panic attack. I sat down and put my head between my legs until my breathing slowed. Quilt? Remorse? I really didn't think so. I needed time to get my emotions under control. "Tom, can you watch the stove for a few minutes? In need to use the bathroom." I needed to get in there before I lost everything in my stomach. "Sure babe. Go ahead, I'll be in straight away." I left quickly and ran into the master bath. I closed the door and just stood there, shaking. My breathing was shallow and my face was flushed. I was sweating and shivering at the same time. I was afraid I was going to vomit and knelt down and leaned over the toilet. I sat there in our master bath on my knees; sweating, shivering; face flushed and about to heave my guts out. I was quite the sophisticated cheating spouse who had just cuckolded her husband and felt nothing when doing it. I stayed there until I felt some control returning. I had no idea of what had just happened. Could I really be feeling guilt? I wasn't sure but I didn't think so. I thought back to that afternoon and what I had done. It wasn't great but the last time in the shower was pretty good. I had one orgasm and Richard had cum three times. I was not ashamed of myself and actually felt very little. The afternoon was fun but nothing special. When Tom and I made love it was far more satisfying, or at least it used to be. He hadn't approached me for some time so it hadn't happened much lately. I wondered why we had stopped making love. As I thought about Tom, I felt my anger begin to grow. I couldn't even think of him without getting furious. He didn't love me anymore or he wouldn't spend so much time with Rachael. Even now, when I am a wreck, he is with her and not there for me. Granted, he didn't know how I was feeling but he could at least knock on the door and ask me if I was OK. Instead he is with Rachael, always with Rachael. I realized with a shock that I was jealous of my own daughter. What the hell was wrong with me! I stood up, splashed some cold water on my face and went back to the kitchen. "Are you OK, babe?" Tom was standing in the kitchen draining the pasta that I had put on. He looked closely at me and said, "You look like you might be coming down with something. Good thing tomorrow is Saturday. You can relax and take care of yourself. If you want, I'll call mom and have her take Rachael for the day and you can just stay in bed." God, this man was something else. I had just cheated on him with another man and he is worrying about how I feel. He can't help this feeling I have that every time I see him I get angry. He has done nothing to deserve it. How can I do this to him? This secret that I now held over him was a dirty one and not one to be proud of. It made me feel cheap and mean. Yet, I still felt no remorse and had no urge to tell him what I had done and no intention of not doing it again. I realized for the first time, that there was something wrong with me. The following Monday, I talked to Richard about our affair. He was still high thinking about what we had done and wanted to make plans to get together again. I, on the other hand, was not that anxious to put myself through that again. The sex was OK, not great, but the aftermath was horrible. Even though I didn't think guilt or remorse was the cause of my panic attack at home, I was not about to test it again soon. "Richard, last Friday was great but we have to be careful. I'm married and I have to face my husband every night when I go home. We may get together again but not until I am certain of how I want to proceed. I hope you can accept that." I was not going to make this an ongoing affair. If I decided to have sex again, it would be on my terms and only when I felt comfortable about doing it again. "I don't want to accept that, but I will have to. Just know that I think you are the most exciting woman I have ever met. I had a great time Friday and would love to do it again as soon as you are ready." Richard looked sincere as he said this and it make me feel a little better to know that he didn't think of me as a piece of meat. We continued working as a team for the next 5 weeks, getting together again twice more. Those times were better but we quickly learned that the only way I was going to have an orgasm was if I got Richard off at least twice so that he could have some staying power. Great for Richard, but sort of dull for me. Richard continually made overtures but I rejected them and told him to be patient. We had just started on a new client when Tom mentioned his trip to St. Louis. I didn't tell Richard about it right away. I wanted to think about it and decide what I wanted to do. I had almost decided to forget it until Tom confronted me that Tuesday night. He suggested we have sex and I responded without even thinking that I was too tired. Tom reacted angrily and wanted to know why we never had sex anymore and why I was always tired at home. He indicated that I was only happy when I was at work or talking about work. I got angry when he mentioned Rachael and I lashed out at him. He accused me of neglecting her when he got home and giving her to him so I could go to bed or anything else not having to do with her. His remarks hit home and I became furious. Rather than get into an argument where I was likely to say something that I probably shouldn't, I walked away. I did not want to have this discussion with him because I wasn't sure of the answers myself. I did know that anytime he questioned me, I became angry. Anytime he asked me for sex, I rejected him. Every time I saw him with Rachael, I became jealous. All of these things made me lash out at him. Again I thought that something was wrong with me, but I didn't want to confront it. Tom dropped it and I went to bed. He came in later but I pretended to be asleep and he made no attempt to touch or talk to me. In the morning, Tom got up at his usual time, got ready for work and then got Rachael ready for day care. He made no attempt to wake me and proceeded to pack for his trip. I feigned sleep and simply waited for them to leave. I finally heard the car leave the house and I got up. I was still angry from last night. Tom had done nothing but try to talk to me and his questions were, I had to admit, valid ones. All that did was make me mad again. I got dressed for work and left feeling like I was about to explode. When I got to work, I had calmed down somewhat. I thought again for the thousandth time about what was wrong in my life. For the thousandth time, I had no answers. While in that frame of mind, Richard came by and asked me what I was thinking about. He said, "You look like you're in another world. Anything I can do to help?" "I'm fine. I was just thinking about what I have to do tonight. Tom left for St. Louis this morning and I have to make arrangements for Rachael tonight and tomorrow. Tom usually takes care of getting her to day care and usually takes over for me at home in the evening. I'll be alone until Friday." I was really feeling sorry for myself that I would have to see that she got to daycare and that meant getting out of bed early. Really tough! "Well, I would be glad to come over to your place and give you a hand." Richard said that with a stupid leer on his face, referring to our last get together. He didn't even have the courtesy to blush. Stupid shit! "Thanks but no thanks. I'll take care of myself like I usually do." I said this with the same reference in the back of my mind. I'd had to ask him to take care of me since he was so busy taking care of his pleasure. Richard left but I continued to think about the argument yesterday and how angry I still was. I wondered if I could somehow get even with Tom for what he had said to me. Maybe they were things that were true and needed to be discussed but he didn't have to attack me. I became more and more angry as I thought about what he had said. I decided to do something about it. To be sure, I called his secretary to be sure he had actually left. He sometimes had trips cancelled at the last minute. A Day Early: Julie's Story I moved over to Richard's desk and whispered in his ear. "If you would like to come over to my place tomorrow evening, maybe you could spend the night. Tom won't be back till Friday afternoon so we could have quite a bit of time together. I'll have the kid stay with Tom's mother Thursday and Friday." "I'll be there. Why can't we start tonight? That way we could have two nights together." Richard looked like a kid who had been offered a box of candy. "I'll have to make arrangements with Tom's mother tonight and arrange for her to pick Rachael up after daycare tomorrow. Tonight won't work. If you can't wait, why don't we just forget it?" I looked at him with eyes have closed in mock seduction. "I'll come over tomorrow right after work and we can go out for some dinner. Then we can come back to your place. How's that sound?" Richard was willing to wait as I suspected. "Fine." I was going to do this. I realized immediately that this would be different than our faked trips to the hotel to see clients. This was planned. This would be in our home and in our bed. This would be deliberate and done strictly to cause pain to another, even though he would not know it. I would know and I would have the pleasure of doing this to him. Things went according to plan and Richard came to my house Thursday evening directly from work. He wanted to proceed to the bedroom immediately, but I reminded him that he was going to take me to dinner. He said that he didn't think he could wait, so I led him into the bedroom and gave him a blowjob. Quick, dirty and I did it without any emotion. I felt like a true whore and that gave me some pleasure. Even more hurt to Tom. Strange that even in my betrayal of my husband, he was constantly in my thoughts. It occurred to me that I wasn't doing this for myself; I was doing it to him. Maybe that's why I didn't particularly enjoy it. We returned home about 9:30 and I had him park in the garage in Tom's empty slot so that no one would notice a car in the driveway overnight. We went into the bedroom and showered together. We repeated what we had done in the hotel shower but again, Richard came too soon and I was left pretending to have an orgasm. I thought that would be easier than forcing him to pleasure me. We dried off and went into the kitchen for coffee and to snack on the deserts we had brought from the restaurant. I noticed the blinking message light on the answering machine and checked caller ID to see if it was from Tom's mother but it wasn't so I left it for later. It was after 11:00 so I turned off the lights and we went to bed. We had foreplay to get Richard back into the mood and to get me wet. We went slow, knowing we had all night together. Richard wanted me to get him off again with my hand so that he could last longer. I agreed and jerked him off. I felt a little like I was back in high school! Jesus! What the hell was I doing? When he was ready, Richard began to fondle my breasts and to rub my mound. He was doing all right and I was able to feel some degree of arousal. I was finally getting wet when I finally told him to fuck me hard. I told him that this time he had better stay with me until I had an orgasm. I told him that if not, he was to get the fuck out of my bed and go home. He laughed, but I was very serious. I wasn't going to be disappointed again. Richard entered me and began to pump in and out slowly and with long, hard strokes. I began to feel something and started to relax. I spread my legs as far apart as I could to allow him to penetrate me better as he began to speed up and to go deeper and deeper. I began to groan and started to hump up to him as he was pulling back. We had just settled into a good rhythm when the overhead light came on. It took a few seconds for me to focus and I finally recognized Tom's face. He was standing in the doorway with his hand on the light switch. I was so shocked I screamed. I tried to get up but Richard was still on top of me. I began to push him away and he rolled off me and fell off the bed on the other side. For some reason I thought that was funny at the time. "Tom what are you doing home?" I struggled with the covers and pulled them around myself as I just stared at Tom. I was angry as I held the sheets to my naked body. All I felt was cold and numb as I watched Tom for his reaction. I don't know what I expected but all I saw in his eyes was cold fury. Tom looked at Richard and told him to get out of the house or he would kill him. I saw the gun in his hand but it didn't register on me. He looked then at me and told me to get some clothes on and let Richard out of the garage since he had parked behind him. He said that he had planned to pull into the garage in his place. As he said his place, I thought I heard his voice waver. But just for a minute. He then turned and walked out of the bedroom. I told Richard to get dressed and to get out. He was panicked and looked like he wanted to be sick. I just yelled at him to move! He finally got his clothes on while I put on a robe and slippers. I followed him through the kitchen and into the garage. He was practically running he was so scared. I was amused at his reaction, again thinking of him as a kid. I let him out and he left without another word. I left Tom's car in the driveway and closed the overhead door. I entered the kitchen and found Tom just coming back from the bedrooms. He had gone in to check on Rachael and assumed that she was with his mother when he found her not to be there. "So, you have found me out. What are you going to do now?" I sat there with a smile on my face and waited for him to say something. There was no remorse, no sadness and no words of apology. I didn't even care that he had come home early. "There is nothing that you can say that will change what happened. I do not want to talk to you tonight. I'll stay with Rachael at my parent's place tonight and then tomorrow I am moving out. I don't know what I am going to do, but for your own good, do not talk to me or try to touch me. "Why would I want to touch you? I haven't for some time and I don't care what you do or where you go." I rose and walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. "You know as well as I that this has not been a marriage for some time and you didn't do anything to try to change it. You knew I was cheating on you and accepted it. It was clear that you only cared about the brat and not me. What did you expect?" Tom just stared at me as if I had lost my mind. And then he began to talk in a calm but sad voice. His words would later come to haunt me for they were as alien to what I believed to be true as possible. "Julie, I have loved you as much as it is possible to love anyone. I loved you even more for giving me a gift like Rachael. The two of you were my life. I lived only to make a home for the three of us. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you or for her. I would give my life for you." "You say the marriage has been over for some time. But that is only in your eyes. In my eyes we had a problem that I wanted to try to solve. You always turned away when I suggested it. I wanted to have you stay home with Rachael, but she was not enough for you. I was not enough for you, either. I did all I could for you and for her but it was apparently not enough. So you chose to go outside our marriage for what you couldn't find with us." "You say I knew about your cheating. That is simply not true. When you love someone as I love you, there is no way you can consider that the one you love is cheating on you. I never considered the possibility. I know now that makes me a fool." "Well, congratulations. You get your wish. This marriage is over and I will file the papers tomorrow. I'll get Jerry Adams as my attorney. You get whomever you want and I will pay the costs. I will have Jerry divide everything evenly and you can have the house. I would suggest you sell it for the equity." "Finally, I am going for full custody of the 'brat' as you called her. It's clear that you would rather have the time to fuck your lover and Rachael is in the way. Don't even try to fight that or I name your fuck buddy in the suit against you and go for child support from you." Tom rose and went into the bedroom for some additional clothes. He returned with a small overnight case. He stopped and looked at me. His look was enough to make me begin to feel something. I seemed to be waking up from a sound sleep without knowing where I was. I had begun to focus on his words before he went to get his things. I began to wonder why I suddenly felt like my world was breaking up. I had a sick feeling that somehow I had done something so terrible that I was going to be very sorry. In that moment of clarity, Tom turned and left. But as he did, I could see tears in his eyes, and that fact alone was enough to turn my whole world upside down. As I looked at Tom's face, suddenly I saw everything clearly. I had done this to him and to my family. I had destroyed everything that I held dear and didn't even know why. I suddenly knew that I was very, very sick and that what I had done was an act of insanity.