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On Being Proactive

By: K.K.



Thanks to Techsan for editing this story for me.

My name is Allen Harris and I am thirty-six years old. For the last ten years I have been working as a network manager for a large insurance company in Cincinnati, Ohio. In order to be successful at my job I have to act proactively and think logically to solve problems and keep our network up. This is extremely important because the company loses thousands of dollars for every minute the network is down. For the most part I have been able to apply the skills I have learned in my job to the rest of my life. I always try to head problems off before they happen and think carefully and rationally before reacting to the problems that I was not able to foresee or prevent. This way of dealing with life has worked well for me up until recently when I was faced with some challenges that tested my ability to think rationally and react logically. 

Although I didn't know it at the time my problems started last June when I took the family to Paducah, Kentucky to attend a wedding. Paducah was my wife Tracy's home town and the bride was Tracy's cousin. 

At the wedding Tracy ran into Jill Tanner, an old friend of hers from high school, and she suggested that we meet her and her husband Frank that evening for a drink. That evening, after the reception Tracy and I left our nine year old son Matthew and our seven year old daughter Lisa with Tracy's parents and we went out to meet Tracy's friends. I had never spent much time in Paducah so Tracy had to give me directions to Brian's Barn where Jill and Frank, were waiting for us.

Brian's Barn was not only the name of the place but also an apt description. The bar was in a restored barn. When we entered we were in a large room with a circular bar in the middle. There were tables scattered around the outside walls and a dance floor at one end of the bar. Against the wall beyond the dance floor was a band stand but the band was not playing when we entered. Jill and Frank were sitting at a table at the opposite end of the room from the dance floor and Jill waived at us when we came in.


After the introductions were made we ordered drinks and began chatting. It turned out that Frank also worked with computer networks and we were soon swapping stories of the strange or unusual network problems we have encountered over the years. By the time the band started to play we were so deep into our discussion and sitting so close together to be able to hear each other over the load music that I hadn't noticed that Tracy and Jill had left the table. It wasn't until I realized that my beer was empty and looked up to see if anyone else needed a drink that I noticed the girls were missing. 

"This is a hang out for a lot of the people our age," Frank shouted over the music. Jill and Tracy probably ran into some old friends."

Frank and I got up and walked over to the bar to get another round of beers and I spotted Tracy talking to a guy on the other side of the bar. He looked to be about my size and probably about the same age. By the expression on their faces I could tell that he and Tracy knew each other. As I picked my fresh beer up off the bar I looked over at Tracy again. I am not normally a jealous person and I have always trusted Tracy. She has never given me any reason to make trust an issue and from what I could see there was nothing about the conversation she was having with her friend that concerned me. Frank and I took our beers back over to the table and resumed our conversation about content delivery over a broad band network, not exactly a subject that Tracy and Jill would have found interesting.

It was about an hour later that Tracy and Jill returned to the table. I cold tell by the look on Tracy's face that it was time for me to stop talking shop and include them in our conversation. The rest of the evening was very pleasant. I had taken a liking to Frank and Jill and before we left that night we invited them to come visit us in Cincinnati to go to a Reds' baseball game. 

During the ride back to Tracy's parents house I asked her about the guy I had seen her talking to. 

"That was Barry Fox," she said. "He was a friend of mine in high school. I'm sorry I was gone so long but I was having fun talking to friends I haven't seen in several years. We were telling stories about our high school days and they were bringing me up to date on a lot of our other friends."

"I am glad you had fun. I was so tied up talking to Frank I never even saw you leave the table."

"Aren't Jill and Frank nice?" Tracy asked.

"Yes. I really liked them," I said.

"You know they got married right out of high school. Jill got pregnant just before graduation and they got married that July. Everybody was talking behind their backs saying that they would end up divorced. Nobody thought they would stay together but it's been eighteen years and Jill told me that they're still in love."

"We've been together for fourteen years," I said. "Do you still love me?"

"You know I do," Tracy said and then she leaned over and kissed me.

The next morning after thanking Tracy's parents for putting us up and for baby sitting for us the previous night we made the four hour drive back to Cincinnati. 

Two weeks later on Saturday afternoon I was in my workshop sharpening my lawn mower blade and Tracy had just left to do the grocery shopping when the phone rang. Because of my need to be available in case there is a network problem on the weekend I had a telephone installed in my workshop so that I could be reached when I am working around the house. That is in addition to my pager and my cell phone. As I picked up the phone on the third ring my son Matthew said, "Hello."

"Hi, who is this?" The caller asked. 

"I'm Matthew."

"Well hello Matthew, is your mother home?" 

I was about to speak but decided to see how my nine year old would handle the call. 

"No sir," he said. "My mom just went to the store. Can I take a message?"

I was proud of him. He had handled the call just the way I had taught him.

"Yes thank you," the caller said. "I am an old friend of your mothers. My name is Barry. Would you please tell her I called?"

"Yes sir, I'll tell her you called," Matthew said.

"Tell your mom I'll call her tonight at eight o'clock," the caller said.

"I will tell her."

"Thanks Matthew."

I was surprised by the call. Could this be the Barry that Tracy was talking to in Paducah? Why would he be calling Tracy? I don't know why but these questions made my stomach tighten up a bit. I guessed that I was just going to have to wait until he called back at eight o'clock to see what he wanted. I managed to put the questions out of my head and got back to what I was doing.

I finished up my outside chores about a half hour later and went in the house to shower. I had finished my shower and when I saw that Tracy wasn't home yet I let my curiosity about Barry Fox get the better of me and I did something I had never before done. I went into Tracy's closet and found the box where she keeps personal things that have special meaning to her. It wasn't my intent to invade her privacy. I only wanted to find her high school yearbook. 

The first time I had ever seen her yearbook was when we first moved in together during graduate school. It was in this same box full of her personal items. She had told me then that the items in the box predated our relationship and were important to her and she would prefer that I didn't look at her stuff but if I insisted she would tell me what was in there. She said that she wasn't trying to keep any secrets from me; it was just that these things were personal and private. I told her that I would not need to see them.

Examining the contents of the box I found a bundle of letters I had sent Tracy the summer after we met. Our wedding invitation was in there along with every birthday, anniversary, valentine, and mother's day card I had ever given her. By the time I got to the bottom of the box I was feeling pretty good. The only thing in that box that didn't have anything to do with our relationship was Tracy's high school year book.

That afternoon was the first time in the fourteen years we had been together that I looked inside the box. It was very comforting to see that her year book was the only thing she kept from before we met. I would never expect her to get rid of her yearbook because I still had mine but it was sure nice to see that everything else that predated our life together was gone. 

I opened the book and turned to Tracy's senior picture. At seventeen she was a very pretty girl and in her face I could see the woman I married. I flipped slowly through the pages looking at the notes written by her friends. They were the same kind of notes I would have found in my own year book. "I will always remember the fun we had in Mr. Sayer's class," or "I know we will always be friends." Then I turned the page to find the pictures of students whose last name began with an F and there I found Barry Fox. 

Barry had written a long note next to his picture. Even thought it had been written eighteen years earlier, long before I knew Tracy, his note made me feel uneasy.

"My Dearest Tracy," the note began, "I can't begin to tell you how much you have meant to me these last six months. I am so in love with you that sometimes I feel like I might explode. Then last week when your parents were out of town you made me feel like a real man for the first time in my life. You are the only thing I think about anymore and I know that I will love you for the rest of my life. I can't wait till summer so that we can be together all of the time."

The note was signed, "Love always, Barry."

I didn't have to read the note twice to understand what Barry had said. He and Tracy had made love in her parents' house. I knew Tracy wasn't a virgin when we started dating in college but I had never thought about her previous lover or lovers. Reading Barry's note disturbed me but I knew that it shouldn't and I felt guilty for invading Tracy's privacy and I wished that I had not read Barry's note.

Just then I heard Tracy's car pulling into the garage so I quickly slipped her yearbook into the bottom of the box and put the box back where I found it. I made sure that I had left no evidence of my envasion of Tracy's privacy and then I went down to the garage to help her with the groceries.

As we were putting the groceries away Matthew came into the kitchen and I realized that he was going to tell Tracy about the phone call from Barry. I quickly left the room so that I would not be there when Matthew gave Tracy the message from Barry. It was an instantaneous decision. I had originally planned to be there when she got the message so that I could ask her why he would be calling. At the last second I decided that I was just going to wait until after he called her back and then ask her who called and what he wanted.

Tracy had not done anything sneaky or devious so I had a hard time understanding why I reacted the way I did. I didn't know what I was doing but decided to just let my instincts guide me.

When I returned to the kitchen Tracy was still putting the groceries away. She had a strange expression on her face when she looked at me.

"Where did you disappear to so suddenly?" she asked. 

"I had to go to the bathroom."

"Matthew said that someone named Barry called me and said he would call back at eight o'clock," Tracy said. "Do you know anything about that?"

"No. When did he call?"

"Matthew said it was three o'clock."

"Matthew is getting pretty good at taking messages, isn't he?" I said to cover up my discomfort.

I wondered if Matthew had told his mother that Barry said he was an old friend of hers or did she think this might be some other person named Barry? I had a hard time believing that she wouldn't know that it was her friend Barry calling. It would be too much of a coincidence for it to be anyone else.

"What do you think he wants?" I said.

"Probably just someone collecting for charity or another of those credit card solicitation calls," Tracy said. 

Tracy looked a little uncomfortable when she said this and I was getting tenser by the minute. Tracy was open with me about the phone message but not completely. She didn't bother to acknowledge that it was her friend Barry from Paducah that had called.

This called for a change of plans for me. Now I wanted to hear this phone call when it took place.

"You're probably right," I said. "We have been getting a lot of those credit card solicitations lately."

The rest of the afternoon Tracy was quiet and she looked a little uneasy. At dinner that evening she hardly looked at me and seemed to concentrate all her attention on Matthew and Lisa. I was beginning to feel as though I had done something wrong and Tracy was mad at me but I knew that wasn't the case. 

At 7:30 PM I told Tracy that I had pulled the lawn mower apart and that I was going out to my workshop to put it back together so that I could mow the lawn on Sunday.

The look on Tracy's face was one of relief. I wasn't going to be in the house when Barry called back at eight o'clock. I guessed that Tracy was relieved that I would be out in the shop when he called, never dreaming that I planned to listen in on the call.

It was 8:10 when the phone finally rang. I waited till the light on the phone came on indicating that the line was active and then I picked up the phone and hit the mute button at the same time.

"Hello?"

"Tracy?"

"Yes."

"Hi. It's Barry. How are you?"

"Hi, Barry. I'm fine. This is a surprise," Tracy said.

"I hope a pleasant one," Barry said.

Tracy didn't comment.

"I just wanted to call and tell you how much I enjoyed seeing you after all these years," Barry said.

"It was great seeing you, too."

"When I got home and told Karen that I saw you she was pissed that she missed you. She wanted me to tell you to make sure and call her the next time you're in Paducah."

"I wish Karen had been there. I would love to have seen her," Tracy said.

I was beginning to feel better. The call seemed innocent enough.

"I am glad that Karen wasn't there," Barry said. "I would not have been able to dance with you like that if my wife had been there."

Dance like what? Alarms started going off in my head.

"We should not have been dancing like that. My husband was on the other side of the room and could easily have seen us," Tracy said. 

"You didn't seem to mind at the time."

"I had too much to drink," Tracy said.

I wondered what the hell they had done on the dance floor. Tracy had never even mentioned that she had been dancing that night.

After that, the call became just a conversation between friends. I didn't know what to think about what I had heard but decided that whatever happened that night I wouldn't let it become a problem.

I figured the call was almost over when I was hit with another surprise.

"Tracy, I have had a change in my sales territory and I will be coming to Cincinnati a few times a year now. I expect to be up there in about three weeks and I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner when I was in town," Barry said.

Tracy was silent for a moment and then said, "I am not sure that Allen would be comfortable going out to dinner with one of my old boyfriends."

"One of your old boyfriends? I hope I was more than just one of your old boyfriends," Barry said. "Anyway, I wasn't planning on inviting your husband to go with us."

"I can't go out to dinner with you," Tracy said.

"Why not?"

"Isn't it obvious? We are both married and I don't go out on dates with anyone other than my husband," Tracy said.

I was glad to hear her say that.

"It's just dinner between old friends. It's no big deal. When we were talking at the 'Barn' I had the feeling that you wanted more time to talk," Barry said.

"I did want to find out what happened to a few more of our old friends."

"Okay then, we'll have dinner and I will get you caught up on what's happening with all of your old friends in Paducah."

"Just dinner and conversation?" Tracy asked.

That question made me very uneasy. It sounded like Tracy was actually considering his invitation. 

"Yes. Dinner and conversation... Then we'll see what else happens," Barry said.

At that point I wanted to scream into the phone but I didn't.

"I don't think that is a good idea," Tracy said.

"Listen Tracy, I wouldn't be asking you to meet me if your kiss hadn't told me that you shared my desire."

"Barry! Don't say that. That was just a kiss of friendship so don't read anything in to it."

The knots in my stomach were getting tighter. Tracy seemed to be resisting Barry but she wasn't firm enough to convince him, or me for that matter, that she wasn't interested in his invitation. 

"I'll give you time to think about this and I'll call you again when I know exactly when I'll be in Cincinnati," Barry said.

"No. You can't call me."

"Why?"

"Allen will get suspicious of these phone calls and I don't know how I would explain them to him."

"Well then, what is your number at work?"

"I can't have you calling me at work either."

I felt that Tracy was finally shutting Barry down. She was basically telling him not to call her again. 

"Can I send you an e-mail?" Barry asked.

"Yes. That would be best," Tracy said.

I listened as she gave him her e-mail address and I felt as though I was going to vomit.

"Okay then. Look for my e-mail next week. Tracy, you know I still love you."

"Don't say that, Barry."

That was the end of the call. I was so upset I had to take a walk around the block to get fresh air into my lungs and clear my head. I started reviewing what I had heard and tried to make sense of it. I had just heard my wife's former lover invite her to have an affair with him. Tracy may want to believe that it was just a dinner invitation but she has to know there was more to it than that. Barry had said that he would be in Cincinnati several times a year indicating, at least to me, that he was contemplating a long term affair with my wife. That meant that if he wasn't successful in getting Tracy into bed on his first visit he would try again on the next.

I tried to deal with all this information but I was too emotional to come to any conclusions. Every time I started to think about what might happen I got angry. I was starting to talk to myself saying things like, "if she fucks him I'll throw her ass out and I'll beat the fuck out of him." No rational thoughts, only emotion and that was mostly anger.

By the time I got back home I had calmed myself to the point that I felt I was under control enough to go in the house and face Tracy without blowing up. After all, she still hadn't done anything. I had decided that I would spy on her e-mail and wait to see if any real problem developed. It might just be that once Barry sent her an e-mail that she would have had time to think about what was happening and tell him that she would not see him.

When I went into the house Tracy looked at me funny for a minute and then asked, "Where were you. I went out to your workshop and you were not there."

"I was restless and it is a beautiful night so I took a walk around the block."

"Are you still restless?" Tracy asked.

"I don't know, why?"

"Do you want to go around the block again and this time I'll go with you," Tracy said.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to be in a situation where I would have to talk to Tracy. 

"I don't think we should leave the kids home alone."

"I guess you're right."

Without saying another word I walked passed Tracy and into the living room. I sat down and turned on the television and for the next hour and a half I didn't say a word.

At eleven o'clock I turned the television off and went up to bed. Tracy had been watching television with me and followed me up to bed without speaking. I made a mental note of how we both seemed to be deep in our own thoughts. In our bedroom I stripped and put on a pair of boxer shorts and a tee shirt, which was my preferred bed wear in the summer, and slipped into bed. When Tracy got into bed I rolled onto my side facing away from her. 


On Being Proactive



I must have stayed like that for fifteen minutes trying to go to sleep but I kept replaying parts of Tracy's conversation with Barry over in my head. 

"I am glad that Karen wasn't there. I wouldn't have been able to dance with you like that if my wife had been there."

"I will be coming to Cincinnati a few times a year now."

"I wasn't planning on inviting your husband to go with us."

When Tracy asked "Just dinner and conversation?" 

Barry said, "Dinner and conversation... Then we'll see what else happens

"Listen, Tracy, I wouldn't be asking you to meet me if your kiss hadn't told me that you shared my desire."

All of this was spinning around in my head when I suddenly felt Tracy snuggling up to my back. She reached her hand up and started playing with my hair.

"Are you awake?" She asked.

I almost didn't answer. "Yes."

"Do you know how much I love you?" Tracy asked.

That question made me so angry that I wanted to say, "As much as you love Barry?" I didn't say that.

"No. I really don't know, "I said.

I could tell by the way Tracy's body stiffened that she wasn't expecting that answer.

"How could you not know?" She asked. "Isn't it obvious to you that I love you more than anything, except maybe Matthew and Lisa?"

With that opening I almost jumped on her. I wanted to say, "If you love me so much, why did you kiss Barry the other night? If you love me so much, why are you considering having an affair with him when he comes to Cincinnati? " I didn't say anything.

Tracy was leaning on her elbow looking down at me. She didn't say anything, she just bent down and started kissing my ear. As she nibbled on my ear even my anger couldn't stop me from getting aroused. 

I could feel her hot breath on my neck as she planted little kisses down the side of my face and when she reached my cheek I couldn't help myself. I turned my head and let her kiss me on the mouth.

I rolled onto my back and Tracy pushed her tongue into my mouth. Then she slid her hand down into my shorts and started stroking my already expanding cock. A part of my brain was screaming at me telling me not to let her seduce me. As much noise as the voice in my head was making it was no match for the power of persuasion that Tracy held in her hand. 

Tracy pulled my cock out of my shorts and then stuck her tongue in my ear. 

"I love you," she said. 

Then she moved down my body and took my engorged shaft into her mouth. This was strange to me. It wasn't as if Tracy never initiated sex, because she often did, and it wasn't that she didn't often give me oral sex, because she did. What made it strange was the feeling I had that Tracy had initiated sex that night because she was feeling guilty about her phone call with Barry.

After several minutes of oral delight, Tracy pulled my shorts off me and then lifted her night gown and straddled my hips. She reached between her legs and guided my cock into her aroused love tunnel and lowered herself down until my cock was completely inside her. Tracy didn't move for a minute as she just flexed her vaginal muscles, which I always enjoyed. As she finally began to move on top of me Tracy leaned forward until she was lying on my chest and then she began kissing me. Between kisses she kept saying "I love you."

For the first time in my life, hearing Tracy say that she loved me was making me angry. That night I found that anger and arousal is an interesting combination. I let Tracy take the lead for a while and then I rolled us over so that I was on top and I started pumping into Tracy as hard as I could. Each time I pushed in, Tracy let out a small grunt as though I was knocking the wind out of her but she didn't complain or ask me to stop. 

It surprised me when Tracy had an orgasm because I thought I had been causing her pain not pleasure. So I started pounding into her even harder and Tracy responded by having another orgasm just before I exploded inside her.

Neither of us said a word when it was done. We both just rolled over and went to sleep.

The next day at work I cracked Tracy's e-mail password, which wasn't very hard. She used Matthew's initials and Lisa's birth date as her password. It was just the third password I tried. Then I set up MSN instant message on my work computer using Tracy's e-mail address so that I would get a notification any time she received an e-mail. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to look at her e-mail until I was sure that she did not have her e-mail opened. Luckily, Tracy would only have access to her e-mail during the day using her computer at work. She didn't have a computer at home and never used mine. Tracy didn't really like computers that much and mostly only used e-mail to talk to friends around town. Even then she didn't send or receive many notes.

That first week Tracy received seven e-mail notes and four of them were from Sue Baxter. They used to work together and now they would talk via e-mail. They liked to share recipes, which is what they were doing this week. The other three notes were of no importance either.

It wasn't till Tuesday of the following week that Tracy received the first note from Barry. It was about two o'clock that afternoon and I was talking to Tracy on the phone about what she wanted me to pick up at the store on my way home. Suddenly I heard a ping and the small box rose up in the lower right hand corner of my screen with the note that said, "You have received mail from Foxman@xxxxx.com." It was difficult to keep the pain I was suddenly feeling in my chest from being reflected in my voice as I continued talking to Tracy. 

I waited until a few minutes after five o'clock and then I called Tracy's office phone to make sure she had already left for the day. As soon as I confirmed that Tracy had gone home I opened her e-mail account and found Barry's note. I had been worried that she might read it then erase it but she didn't.

"Hi Tracy. I just wanted to let you know that I will be in Cincinnati next Monday. I'll be staying at the downtown Marriott and I would really love to have you come have dinner with me. Love, Barry."

I had to look in Tracy's 'Sent Mail' folder to find the answer she sent him. Before I could even open that note my heart started pounding in my chest. I was scared of what I was going to find in her note but I had to look.

"Barry, I would love to see you again but only for dinner. I don't want you to expect more than that. Tracy."

There was no comfort in that note for me. Although she told him that he should not expect more that just dinner with her she left the possibility of more open when she accepted his invitation. She also didn't tell Barry that there would absolutely be nothing more than dinner, she only told him not to expect anything more than dinner. I am sure Barry saw this note as a positive response as much as I found it to be negative.

Starting that evening things started go sour between Tracy and me. When I got home I was angry with Tracy but I couldn't tell her why so I tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. For Tracy's part it was obvious that she had something on her mind that she was not about to share with me so we were both very silent. 

That night Tracy tried to initiate sex but I pretended to be asleep and didn't respond to her. The next morning at breakfast Tracy was quiet but I got the feeling that she wanted to say something to me but she didn't. I grabbed my briefcase and headed for the door as soon as I finished eating. Normally I wouldn't be headed to work for another hour but I just wanted to get out of the house that morning. I was surprised that Tracy didn't ask me why I was leaving so early. As I got to the door Tracy started to say, "I love you," but I closed the door behind me before she could say it. 

"I love you," was something that Tracy had said to me as I left for work every morning since we had been married and that morning I just didn't want to hear it.

That day Tracy didn't call me at work like she did almost every day. That was a sign to me that Tracy wasn't thinking about me the way she used to. By the end of that day I had seen four notes come into Tracy's e-mail, all from Barry.

I again waited until after five o'clock to check Tracy's e-mail. The first note from Barry simply told Tracy that he had made dinner reservations for 7:30 Tuesday evening and told her he would meet her in the bar at the Marriott at seven o'clock. 

Tracy's reply said that she was not sure if she would be able to make it, which gave me some hope.

"You have to come" Barry's next note read. "We have to find out if there is any magic between us. If there isn't anything there, at least we will both know. Isn't it better to know than to wonder and perhaps later regret that we never tried to find out? Please come."

Tracy's reply said, "I will come but you have to understand that this is just for dinner and nothing else. We are both married and we should not be looking for any magic."

Then Barry responded, "Great. I am really looking forward to seeing you. It will make my having to come to Cincinnati for business so much more worthwhile. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

Tracy wrote back, "I am looking forward to seeing you too but you have to remember what I said."

Barry final note read, "Don't worry. I won't put any pressure on you. I would never make you do anything you don't want to do."

That last note really pissed me off. Barry in essence said that he planned to seduce her but he would not rape her. Not in those words of course but that was the hidden meaning. I doubt that Tracy would get the same meaning out of it. 

I sat at my desk for another hour trying to understand what Tracy was thinking. Was she just bored and wanted some excitement or was she really hung up on this guy. Was she going to have an affair with him? What was I going to do if she did have an affair?

I started thinking about what I would do if Tracy ended up in bed with this asshole. I had to calm myself down and think what would be the best thing that could happen? That was easy. Tracy would change her mind and tell Barry she would not see him now or ever. The absolute worst case scenario was that Tracy would have an affair with Barry and then tell me she was in love with him and wanted a divorce. I doubted that either of these would happen. What ever happened would be somewhere in the middle.

I tried to think of how I would handle each of the possibilities: a one time fling, a short affair lasting only a few months, or a long term affair lasting more than a year. I was such an emotional mess that I couldn't come to any rational decision about any of those possibilities.

On the way home that evening I decided to try being extra loving toward Tracy. Maybe I could guilt her into not meeting Barry at the Marriott on Tuesday.

When I got home I could hear Tracy in the kitchen fixing dinner. I went to the kitchen with the idea of kissing Tracy and telling her I loved her but when I walked into the kitchen she turned away from me and didn't even acknowledge my presence. I changed my tactic and just said hello to her and walked out of the kitchen as she responded with a weak hello in return.

At dinner Tracy had very little to say to me and would not look at me when she spoke. She did however talk to and smile at Matthew and Lisa so what ever her problem was it was directed at me.

Once again that night Tracy tried to initiate sex when we went to bed. She had waited till we were both in bed and the lights were off. I just rolled away from her and said I wasn't feeling well. I was just not in the mood to have sex with her knowing that she had made a date to see Barry.

Thursday morning as I left the house to go to work Tracy didn't even bother to say that she loved me. A couple of days earlier I hadn't wanted to hear it but now it really hurt to not hear it. That day there were no more notes from Barry. I waited till five o'clock to see if Tracy had sent any to Barry hopefully to cancel their date but she didn't send him any notes either.

Thursday night was more of the same. Tracy couldn't look at me when she talked to me and again she tried to initiate sex when we got into bed. I refused her again and she wanted to know what was wrong with me. She asked why I didn't want to have sex with her.

"For more than a week now I have been getting the distinct impression that you don't care for me as much as you used to," I said. "You seldom talk to me and when you do you can't seem to look at me but then as soon as we get in bed you want me to make love to you. Well, I haven't been feeling any love lately so I am not giving any. When you are ready to talk and tell me what is happening between us maybe then we can start having sex again."

I waited for a response from Tracy but she just rolled away from me and remained silent. I don't think Tracy slept very well that night because I didn't sleep much at all and I could feel how restless she was. 

Friday morning Tracy stepped in front of me as I was heading out the door and she looked me in the eye and said, "I love you."

I stared into her eyes for a minute.

"I sure hope you do," I said and then I left.

I spent the first two hours of Friday morning sitting in my office still trying to decide how I would handle the possible outcomes of Tracy's date with Barry. My stomach was tied up in knots and my head was spinning. I was spending a lot of time thinking about the problem but I wasn't making any progress. I starting thinking about all of the cheating wife stories I had read on the Internet over the years. I remembered one theme that seemed to run through a lot of these stories. The husband would find out that his wife was either cheating or about to cheat on him and he would not do anything, opting instead to wait until he had proof of her infidelity that he could use against her to get revenge.

I didn't want to think about revenge. I just wanted my marriage back the way it was before Barry Fox entered the picture. Besides how was I going to get proof that Tracy was having sex with him?

I was kicking this around in my head when I was suddenly pulled out of my mind games by the ringing of my telephone. It was one of my coworkers with a question about a problem he was having with the network. He told me that we were going to have a problem with a segment of the network the following week because our marketing group was going to start running streaming videos across the network. He said that he thought the large volume of traffic would cause that network segment to crash and he wanted to know what he should do if that happened. 

I told him that we needed to be proactive and prevent the problem from happening. I said, "Let's redistribute the traffic on the network so we don't have all of the streaming video on one network segment. That way we'll have enough band width to handle the increased traffic."  The answer had been fairly simple and when I put the phone down a plan for handling my personal problem came to me.

I started looking at my problem from a different perspective Instead of trying to figure out what I would do if and when Tracy had an affair with that piss ant Barry, I started working on how I would keep that from happening.

My first thought was to have a talk with Barry's wife. I thought I could have her call Tracy and maybe that would make Tracy feel guilty about what she was doing. Another possibility was that I could just tell Karen what her husband was up to and hope that she would be able to put a stop to Barry's plans. Rather than using directory assistance to try and find Karen and Barry's home number I decided to call someone who knew them.

"Hi, Frank, Allen Harris. How are you?"

"Hey, Allen, I'm fine. Good to hear from you. What's up?"

I didn't want to get into the real reason I called right away so I talked about our invitation for Jill and Frank to come see a ball game with us.

"I was just looking at the sports page in the paper," I said. "I was reading about last night's Reds' game and I thought of you and Jill. I decided to give you a call and see if you were still thinking of coming up some weekend to take in a game." 

"Yes, we would really like that. We probably won't be able to get up there till sometime in August or September."

"I'll send you the schedule of the home games so that you'll know which weekends the Reds are in town," I said.

'That's great. Would it be all right if we bring our son? I know he would love to see a game."

"Of course. The invitation was for the whole family," I said. "While I have you on the phone, could I get you to do me a small favor?"

"Sure. What do you need?"

"Do you know Barry and Karen Fox?" I asked.

"Yea, I know Barry. He works for the same company I do," Frank said.

"Do you happen to know their phone number? Tracy would like to call Karen. I guess they were pretty good friends in high school and Tracy was disappointed that she didn't get to see her while we were in Paducah," I said.

"I can get you Barry's phone number but he and Karen got divorced about five years ago. Karen remarried and moved to St. Louis," Frank said.

"Do you know why they got divorced?" I asked. I'd like to be able to tell Tracy."

"Barry was messing around. He had two or three girlfriends at a time."

"How long did it take Karen to find out what he was up to?"

"It took her about six years. Barry had his girlfriends in other cities. He had a girl in Bowling Green, another in Louisville and one more in Evansville. He would tell Karen he had to go to one of his girlfriends' cities on business and he would stay for a day or two with his girlfriend," Frank said.

"How did Karen find out?"

"She ran into his boss one day and found out that his job didn't require any travel."

"He's not a salesman?" I asked.

"The only thing Barry Fox sells is bull shit. He works in the warehouse. He is the assistant manager and he puts in a lot of overtime but because he is in management he doesn't get paid for his overtime. The company gives him comp time instead. So if he works over a weekend he can take Monday and Tuesday off and that is when he travels."

"Did Barry ever remarry?"

"No, but he still has a few girlfriends scattered within a few hours driving distance of Paducah," Frank said.

"Tracy will get a kick out of this information," I said.

Frank and I chatted for a few more minutes and then we ended the call.

After the call I knew enough about Barry to make Tracy lose interest in him. I spent another hour just thinking about how to present this information to Tracy. I was sure that once Tracy learned the truth about Barry; that he lied about his wife Karen and that he was lying about his business trip to Cincinnati, and when she learned about his other girlfriends, I thought she would lose interest in him very quickly.

I was all set to go home and drop all this information on Tracy when another thought occurred to me. I was pretty sure this information would be the end of her interest in him. I would have my wife back but not because she chose me over Barry but because she found out Barry was not the person she thought he was. Thinking calmly and rationally I realized that I had to force Tracy to make a choice between our marriage and the Barry she thought she knew, not the philandering asshole he really was. This reasoning may sound foolish but that was what I was thinking at the time.

When I got home that evening I tried to be friendly and attentive to Tracy, letting her know in subtle ways that I loved her but when we went to bed I rolled onto my side and went to sleep.

Saturday and Sunday were very difficult for me. While I was trying to act as if nothing was wrong, Tracy still could not look at me when she spoke to me. That hurt me deeply. Could she dislike me so much that she couldn't even look at me? 




On Being Proactive



Monday was a much better day. It was a very busy day at work, which made the time go by quickly and I was feeling relief from just knowing that I would have some form of resolution by the end of the next day.

When I got home from work on Monday night, I tried to act happy and I asked Tracy about her day. I also tried to throw her off balance a little.

"Lately, I feel as though we are drifting apart," I said. "Maybe a little romance is all we need. I was thinking that maybe would could go out for a romantic dinner tomorrow evening and then come home and make love. What do you think?" 

"Tomorrow night is not good for me," she said. "I am going out for dinner and drinks with some of my girlfriends after work tomorrow. Maybe we can go out for dinner later in the week."

There it was. I was wondering when and how she was going to do it. What a cliché, "Going out with the girls." I suddenly felt like I was a character in a cheating wife story.

"I think our marriage is more important than going out with your friends, don't you?"

"Our marriage? Well, of course but we made these plans last week and it would be difficult for everyone to have to change their plans now."

"Not everyone has to change their plans. Only you need to change your plans," I said.

"Allen, please, can't we just go to dinner another time?" Tracy pleaded. 

"Well, at least I tried," I said. "I guess if you are going out then I will work late tomorrow to get a few things caught up at the office. Can you get Sarah to come over and baby sit until you get home?"

"I guess I can call Sarah but I don't know what time I'll get home. We might do something after dinner," she said.

"What are you going to do after dinner, go out and pick up some men?" I asked sarcastically.

Tracy turned her back to me and didn't answer. She wasn't taking the bait. She didn't get defensive and she didn't back down. I was beginning to think our marriage was in bigger trouble than I had realized.

Later that evening we both sat watching television without once speaking to each other. At eleven o'clock Tracy got up to go to bed. When I didn't immediately follow her, she came back into the room.

"Are you coming up?" She asked.

"Not yet. I think I'll watch some of Letterman tonight."

"Can't you come up now? I don't like sleeping without you," she said.

"You might want to get used to it," I said.

"What does that mean?"

"Just that you can't always expect me to be in bed next to you," I said.

"Why did you say that?" She asked. "I don't understand you. Are you trying to tell me something?"

"No. Just giving you something to think about. Good night."

Tracy stood in the doorway for another minute staring at me. She appeared to be upset but she didn't say anything more. Finally she turned and went off to bed.

When I went to bed about an hour later Tracy was either asleep or doing a pretty good imitation of sleeping.

I changed for bed and slipped in next to Tracy and tried to get to sleep. I was laying on my side thinking about what might happen the following evening when Tracy stirred. I lay still and started breathing slow and deep so that if Tracy was awake she would think I was asleep. 

"Allen," Tracy whispered and when I didn't respond she said my name again just slightly louder. "Allen."

I didn't move. 

"I love you," she whispered and then she rolled away from me.

I wondered what the fuck that was about. She accepted Barry's invitation for "dinner and conversation... Then we'll see what happens." This was a date that could end our marriage and here she is whispering her love for me. I was so pissed at that moment I wanted to shake her and yell, what the fuck are you thinking? Instead, I continued to pretend that I was asleep.

Tuesday morning I was awake at five so I got up and showered and then went downstairs and made a pot of coffee. I was sitting at the kitchen counter drinking my coffee when I heard Tracy getting into the shower. At that moment I knew that I didn't want to see her that morning so I quickly finished my coffee and left the house. I stopped at a diner for breakfast and then went to work. 

I tried to keep myself busy all day so I wouldn't keep thinking about what I had to do that night. At two o'clock that afternoon Tracy called me. When I heard her voice, I was praying that she called to tell me she changed her mind and decided to go out to dinner with me.

"Allen, I just wanted to let you know that I got Sarah to baby sit tonight," she said. "I told her that you would probably be the first to get home but I didn't know what time that would be. Sarah said that because it is a school night she would have to be home by ten o'clock. You'll be home by ten, won't you?"

"Yes, I'll be home before ten and you should be too."

When Tracy didn't comment on that I said, "I am busy now, I'll see you later," and then I hung up the phone without giving her a chance to say anything more. 

At five o'clock I was starting to clear off my desk when my phone rang. I reached for the phone but didn't pick it up. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone and phone calls at that time of day usually meant problems. The last thing I needed was another problem to deal with. A few minutes later my cell phone began to ring. I didn't even look at my phone as I turned it off. I knew that if I saw who was calling it would be harder to ignore the call. 

I stayed in my office until 5:30 that evening and then walked the four blocks from my office over to the Marriott. I surprised myself with how calm I was as I entered the hotel. As I walked through the lobby I heard someone say, "Allen?"

I turned to see who had said it and to see if they were talking to me. It took me a moment to realize that the woman standing behind the hotel registration counter was waving at me. Then I recognized the face. As I walked to the counter I couldn't help but smile.

"Jackie Washington, how are you?" I said as I approached the counter.

Jackie had been a neighbor of ours when Tracy and I were first married and she was a student at the University of Cincinnati.

"I am great Allen but it's Jackie Winters now. How are you? I haven't seen you in what, eight years?"

I smiled and said, "I don't want to think of how long it's been other than to say it has been too long. I had no idea you worked here. I see you are the hotel manager. How long have you been working here?"

"I've been working in this hotel for two years. I started as a management trainee at the Marriott in Lexington five years ago. I was assistant manager there until they promoted me and moved me up here," Jackie said.

"I am impressed. You know I only work four blocks from here. Maybe we can have lunch sometime," I suggested.

"I'd like that but I am not sure my husband would appreciate it."

"Believe me. I can understand that," I said. "Why don't you give me your home number? I will give you a call and we can all go out to dinner sometime. I would like to meet the man who finally won your heart."

As soon as I said that I felt a pain in my chest as I wondered if Tracy and I would still be together the next time I talked to Jackie.

As she wrote her number on a slip of paper and handed it to me Jackie asked, "So how is Tracy?"

"I think she's fine but that remains to be seen," I said.

"What's wrong?"

"We are having a problem that I would rather not talk about it right now. I am here tonight to see if I can fix it."

"I hope it works out for you?"

"I know I shouldn't ask you this but could you check something for me?" I asked.

"What would you like me to check?"

"Can you check to see if a Barry Fox is registered here?"

"What are you going to do to Mr. Fox if he is here?" Jackie asked.

"Nothing, I just need to know if he has checked in yet."

Jackie pushed a few buttons on her computer and looked up at me.

"Mr. Fox checked in about an hour ago," she said.

"Thanks Jackie."

"I hope someday you will tell me what this was all about."

"It depends on how things turn out. If things go the way I hope, I will never talk about this to anyone. If things go badly, I may need someone to talk to," I said. 

Someone came over to speak to Jackie so I said that I had to go and that I would call her about getting together for dinner and then I walked off toward the bar. I looked at my watch and it was 5:15 PM. I had an hour and forty-five minutes to kill before Tracy was supposed to meet Barry.

I explored the bar to find a place where I could watch for Tracy to come in without being noticed. I found what I was looking for on the far side of the bar near a doorway leading to the rest rooms. I could sit at the bar there and watch the rest of the room and if Tracy needed to go to the lady's room I would be able to move around the corner of the bar and stay out of sight until the right moment.

With that part of my plan decided I took a walk outside of the hotel to kill some more time and to think about what I was going to say to Tracy later. I knew that I would not be able to memorize a speech and a speech probably would not be appropriate. What I was trying to do was make sure I had all the points I wanted to make clear in my mind. That way I could let the conversation flow more naturally and not get myself tongue tied if something unexpected happened.

By six o'clock I was getting quite nervous and decided I needed a drink to calm my nerves but before I went back into the bar I used my cell phone to call home. Sarah answered the phone on the second ring.

"Hi Sarah. This is Mr. Harris. I just wanted to check and see if everything was okay."

"Everything is fine here," she said.

"Did my wife happen to say when she expected to get home tonight?" I asked.

"No, but she knows that I have to leave by ten o'clock. She looked great when she left. She was wearing a sexy little dress and her hair was nicely done. I hope I look like her when I get older." 

That was not what I wanted to hear.

"You will, Sarah. I'll be home by ten."

So, if Tracy was wearing a sexy little dress, as Sarah had said, I guess she has made up her mind that this date is going to be more than just dinner and conversation."

At that point I became an emotional mess. I was depressed and angry. My depression made me want to go somewhere and lie down and I almost decided to just go home and go to bed but my anger would not let me do that. I paced around outside the hotel for a while until I got my emotions under control.

At 6:15 PM I sat down at the bar in the Marriott and ordered a bourbon and water and prepared myself for the wait.

I was about halfway through my first drink when a man stepped up to the bar next to me and ordered a draft beer. I didn't get a look at him until he picked up the beer and walked slowly around the bar. I watched him as he walked over to a table in a dark corner of the room and then he came back to the bar and had a short discussion with the bartender, which ended with him giving the bartender a ten dollar bill. 

A few minutes after that conversation the bartender went over to the table and put a reserved sign on it. I didn't think much about that at first but as the man walked back around the bar toward me I recognized him. I had only seen him once but I knew it was Barry. So Barry was setting things up for the seduction of my wife. 

What happened next would almost have been comical if I wasn't so upset. Barry came over and sat down next to me and ordered another beer. After he had the first sip of his fresh beer he turned to me.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?" he asked.

I wanted to punch him but I didn't. "Yes, it is a beautiful day and it makes me wonder what the hell I am doing in here instead of outside enjoying the day."

I could not believe it. Barry actually started making small talk with me. We talked about the Reds and their chances of winning a pennant. He told me that being from Paducah, Kentucky he was more of a St. Louis Cardinals fan, so we talked about the Cardinals chances for a while. 

At 6:45 Barry said, "I have to run up to my room and get cleaned up for my date. I have a hot one meeting me here in fifteen minutes. I usually like to let them wait for a few minutes before I arrive, it tends to make them happier to see me when I do show up. Nice talking to you."

Barry got up and left without ever introducing himself to me. 

At seven o'clock on the dot Tracy walked into the bar. It was bad enough that she showed up at all but then she looked so beautiful. Sarah had been right. Tracy was wearing a short black cocktail dress with black stockings that I suspected were thigh highs rather than pantyhose. The top of the dress showed just enough cleavage to be sexy without being slutty. The small lights in the room seemed to give highlights to her long dark hair and seemed to make her face even prettier than usual. Seeing her dressed like that for another man was extremely painful. I had to take several deep breaths to calm myself down.

Tracy looked around the room for a couple of minutes and walked to the other side of the bar and spoke to the bartender. I saw him point and Tracy went over to the reserved table and sat down.

I could tell that Tracy was nervous because over the next five minutes she pulled her compact out of her purse three times to check her face and every time she put it away she looked around the bar as if she was making sure there was no one there that might know her. Every time she looked in my direction I was able duck out of her line of sight.

It was 7:05 when Barry finally walked into the bar and joined Tracy at the table. Before he sat down, Barry leaned down to kiss Tracy. It looked like he wanted to kiss her on the mouth but she turned her head and he kissed her cheek instead.

I watched them as they talked and it was obvious that Tracy was still either very nervous or just uncomfortable. She kept fidgeting with her hands. She put them on the table and then under the table and one on top and one under and then she started the cycle all over again. She was still fidgeting when the waitress brought them their drinks. For my part I was getting more nervous by the minute. My stomach was spinning and my palms were sweaty. 

I was trying to decide when I should make my move. I hadn't really made the decision as much as it was made for me. I saw Barry stand up and I thought that they were about to head over to the restaurant so I started to get up thinking that I wanted to get to Tracy before they went into the restaurant but Tracy didn't stand up. Barry left the table walking toward the bar and then came around to my side. I was beginning to wonder if he had recognized me after all or had Tracy spotted me? Was this going to be the confrontation between Barry and me?

When Barry got around to my side of the bar he looked at me and gave me a friendly nod of his head and headed out the doorway behind me. I turned to see where he was going and saw him go into the men's room.

I immediately got up and made my way around the bar and headed over to where Tracy was sitting. She was looking at herself in her compact mirror again and didn't see me coming.

"Hi Tracy."

Tracy almost jumped out of her seat as she looked up and saw me standing there.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I just thought I would stop by and say hello to you and your girlfriends. I just figured that since you considered having dinner and drinks with them more important than going to dinner with me tonight that I wanted to meet these friends of yours," I said.

Tracy's face had gone completely white. I saw her eyes move toward the bar looking to see if Barry was on his way back from the rest room yet. Tracy was beginning to look quite sick.

"Why didn't you call...? " Tracy started to say but I cut her off.

"Call you and tell you I was going to stop by? Why would I have to do that?"

"Please leave before my friends come," she said. "Your being here is embarrassing me."

I could hear the panic in her voice as she spoke.

"What's the hurry? Can't I sit here and have a drink with you?" I asked.

I could see that she was trying to think of something to say that would make me leave before Barry returned. Suddenly Tracy's eyes widened and I knew that Barry must be on his way back to the table.

"Hey man, she's with me." Barry's voice came from behind me. "Is he bothering you, Tracy?"

When I turned to face him he gave me a smile, "Oh, it's you. Sorry but she is already taken. I told you I had a hot date tonight."

"That you did, Barry."

"How did you know my name?" He asked.

"Let me introduce myself," I said. "I am Allen Harris as in the Mr. Harris to her Mrs. Harris."

Barry stepped back a couple of steps.

"I am sorry, man. I didn't know," he said.

"Didn't know what? That she was married or that I was the wimp that was supposed to be at home talking care of our children while you were seducing my wife," I said.

I looked at Tracy but she looked almost catatonic so I looked back at Barry. 

"Why don't we sit down and have a little conversation," I said in a voice so calm I even surprised myself.

"Listen, I don't want any trouble. I'll just leave and let you two work this out," he said.

"Barry, stop worrying so much. There isn't going to be any trouble tonight so just sit down."

Barry sat down and I grabbed a chair from an adjacent table, pulled it over and sat down.

Tracy finally tried to speak.

"Allen, this isn't what you think," she said.

I held one finger up to my lips to quiet her. 

"Tracy, I don't know what to think this is," I said. "I only know that it is not proper for a married woman to be on a date with a former lover."

Tracy tried to speak again but I held my finger up again.

"I know what you want to say, that this was just going to be dinner between two old friends. I just can't accept that explanation. If that were true, I would have been invited to have dinner with the two of you and you would not have lied and told me you were going out with your girlfriends and if this was truly just dinner and conversation, you certainly would not have dressed like this. I have to say that you do look beautiful which is very upsetting for me to think that you would dress this way for another man.

Barry tried to speak in Tracy's defense. "That is all it was. I was just in town for the night and I didn't want to dine alone. There was nothing else to this," he said.

I laughed at him. "There is no way you drove all the way from Paducah to Cincinnati and paid two hundred dollars for a hotel room just to have dinner with my wife," I said.

"I had to be here on business anyway so I gave Tracy a call..."

"I cut him off before he could finish that lie. "Barry, we both know that isn't true. Assistant warehouse managers don't take business trips now do they?"

Barry sat back in his seat and didn't reply. Tracy hadn't looked at Barry since he arrived at the table. She was either looking at me or at her hands.

In a very low and calm voice, I began to say what I had come there to say to Tracy.

"Tracy, when I first became aware of this date of yours I was sure you would never go through with it. I was sure that you loved me and would never hurt me that way but over the last two weeks I began to doubt your feelings for me. You barely speak to me anymore and when you do you can't seem to look me in the eye. I didn't know if it was because you couldn't stand to look at me anymore or if you were worried that I would know from the look on your face that you no longer care about me."

Tracy grabbed my arm and started to open her mouth to speak but I stopped her again.

"Let me finish what I came here to say. What I couldn't understand was how you could all but ignore me during the day but as soon as the lights went out you were ready to make love to me. Then I wondered if you really wanted to make love to me or was I just supposed to provide the physical part of some sexual fantasy you were playing out in your head. Were you thinking of this piss ant?"




On Being Proactive



I pointed at Barry when I said that last part. He made an angry face but made no move to get out of his chair. Tracy's eyes had filled with tears but she wasn't crying yet. Her grip on my arm tightened.

"Please, Allen..." Was all she could manage to say.

"I guess I was foolish to believe that you would not throw away thirteen years of marriage for a little extramarital sex," I said. "I guess my biggest disappointment was that you didn't even care enough about our children to protect them from the potential consequences of your actions."

That did it. The dam burst and now Tracy was crying. I was beginning to feel her fingernails digging into my arm. I pulled my arm out of Tracy's grip and stood up. 

"The next move is yours, Tracy. It is 7:30 now and I am going home. I will give you until 8:30 to get home. I think an hour should be long enough for you to say good bye to Barry and get home by 8:30 but it is not enough time for much of anything else. If you are not home by 8:30 I will consider our marriage to be over." 

For a moment I thought about telling Tracy what I had found out about Barry but I knew she was going to have to make her decision based on her feelings for me not on her feelings for Barry after she found out what a shit he was. If in the end she chose him, then she would deserve what she got.

"I don't want to waste any more of your time," I said, "so I'll get out of here. Maybe I'll see you at home Tracy."

I turned to leave and along with the hurt and anger I was feeling I felt proud of myself. I didn't attack Barry, I didn't raise my voice and I didn't resort to calling Tracy names. I had said nothing terribly hurtful or that could not be forgiven. I had made my feelings clear and the rest was up to Tracy.

I had just reached the exit from the bar into the hotel lobby when I heard Tracy yell, "Allen, please don't leave now."

I didn't stop.

As I walked back to the garage at my office building to get my car I reviewed everything I had said to Tracy and was satisfied that I had said pretty much everything I had wanted to say. I only wished that I could have done something to Barry to make his life as miserable as he had made mine. I knew that if ever I found the opportunity I would repay him for what he had done. When you mess around with married women, you should be prepared for the consequences of getting caught.

I drove home slowly with my windows open trying to keep myself calm. I turned on the radio and tried to sing along with the songs to keep from thinking about Tracy and our marriage. I only put the odds of Tracy coming home by eight thirty at fifty-fifty and I thought that might even be too generous.

I arrived at the house at ten minutes after eight. Sarah was surprised to see me so early but when she saw the expression on my face she didn't bother to ask any questions. I thanked her as I paid her and then she went home.

I got a beer from the refrigerator and took it into living room and sat down to wait. I turned the television on but the lame comedy shows on at that hour just added to my misery so I turned it off. 

I sat there trying not to think about anything but it didn't work. The closer it got to 8:30 the more agitated I got. The palms of my hands were sweating again and my stomach was rolling but that didn't stop me from drinking a second beer. 

I was staring at the beer bottle I was holding between my knees when I heard the grandfather clock in out dinning room strike on the half hour. I got up slowly and walked to the kitchen and poured out the remaining beer from my bottle into the sink and left the empty bottle on the counter. I walk to the front of the house and looked out the window and saw no sign of Tracy. 

"Shit," I mumbled to myself and then turned off all the lights and headed upstairs. I peeked in on Matthew and Lisa before I went to my room and changed for bed. 

As I climbed into bed I thought about how much different my life was going to be from then on.

I turned off the light on my bedside table and pretended that I really thought that I was going to be able to sleep. I had only been in bed for five minutes when I heard the front door opening. I looked at the clock even though I already knew what time it was. She was fifteen minutes late. What did that mean? Was that because it was such a hard decision for her to come home instead of staying with him? Was it because she had to convince Barry that she would get together with him another time or was it that she, like me, took her time driving home. 

I debated on whether to go downstairs to talk to her or to stay in bed and pretend to be asleep. It was only 8:45 and I knew she wouldn't believe that I would be in bed this early. I waited a few more minutes and when it was evident that she wasn't coming upstairs anytime soon I got up and went to find her. I had to get some kind of resolution to the situation that night.

Tracy was in the living room sitting in the dark. I turned on a light as I passed through on my way to the kitchen. I got two beers from the refrigerator and went back to the living room. I handed one of the beers to Tracy. When she looked up at me, her eyes were red and her nose was running. 

I didn't say a word. I just went into the bathroom and got a box of tissues and brought them back and put them on the coffee table in front of Tracy. 

"Thanks," Tracy said in a near whisper.

"I guess it is your turn to talk and my turn to listen," I said in as non-threatening a way as I could.

Tracy looked at me with her sad eyes.

"Allen, I need you to do something for me before I try to explain this all to you," she said.

"Why should I have to grant you any favors?"

"It's not a favor," she said. "I just need you to do this so that you will believe what I have to tell you."

I didn't like the sound of what she had just said. 

"What is it you want me to do?" I asked.

"I tried to call you in your office at five o'clock today but you didn't answer and when I tried to reach you on your cell phone you didn't answer that either," she said.

"Are you going to try and say that what happened tonight happened because I didn't answer my phone?" I was incredulous. 

"In a way, yes," she said, "but in order for you to understand that you have to listen to the voice mail I left you when I called at five o'clock. Please go listen to that message and then I will tell you whatever you want to know."

I looked into Tracy's eyes to get some hint of where this was going. All I could see was that her eyes were pleading with me to do as she asked.

As I got up to go to the phone I remembered that I had received a call at five o'clock that I didn't answer and shortly after that my cell phone rang but I turned it off without even looking to see who had called. So she was probably telling the truth about the phone calls but how could my not answering her call excuse her from what she was planning to do with Barry. 

I turned to look at Tracy before I left the room. She was staring at her hands and seemed to be oblivious to everything around her. Her legs were spread enough that I could see the tops of her thigh high stockings under her sexy little black dress. There was no way her phone message could explain the way she had dressed for her date with Barry.

I picked up the kitchen phone and dialed my voice mail and then entered my password. There were three messages for me. Two were work related and came in after Tracy's call, which came in at five o'clock.

This is the message Tracy left for me. "Allen, I thought you would still be in your office, you said you were going to work late. Call me when you get this message. I will try to get you on your cell phone after I leave this message. I have been thinking a lot about what you have been saying lately and it occurred to me that I have been behaving strangely toward you lately. I didn't realize how foolish I was acting until yesterday when you challenged me about going out with my friends tonight. I thought about what you said and decided that you were right. Our marriage is more important than a night out with my friends. I am sorry that I didn't think of this sooner. I told you that my friends and I had planned this night out last week and I couldn't change it. I decided that maybe you and I could compromise. I was thinking that I could go out for drinks with the girls and then meet you at eight o'clock at Anthony's for dinner. That way we can have our romantic dinner and still get home by ten o'clock for Sarah. Then I can show you how much I love you. I will keep trying to call you but if I don't hear from you before eight o'clock I'll just go home. I am going home now to change into something sexy so that you won't be able to resist me."

The only two words that came to mind were "holy shit." She dressed like that for me, not him. We still had some issues to deal with here but the bottom line seemed to be that she chose me over Barry on her own. Things were starting to look up.

I went back into the living room and sat down on the sofa next to Tracy and took her hands into mine and just looked into her eyes.

"I am so sorry, Allen," she said. "I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to meet Barry for dinner. I knew you would never approve of me seeing him and that should have been enough for me to tell him no. You have to believe me when I tell you I never had any intention of sleeping with him. I thought we would have dinner and talk about old friends and maybe do some dancing and then I was going to come home. I thought I had everything under control. I really hated lying to you and that's why I couldn't seem to look at you when we talked. I was sure you would see right through me."

"Did you really think that Barry was only interested in talking to you?"

"No, and that is probably why I wanted to see him. I didn't want to have sex with him but I guess I kind of liked the idea that he wanted me."

I had several other questions that I wanted to ask Tracy but what I really wanted to do at that moment was make love to her and tell her everything was going to be all right.

I put my hands on both sides of her face and pulled her to me and kissed her. Tracy responded by opening her mouth and accepting my tongue inside. I stood up and took her by the hand and said, "Let's go to bed and salvage what we can of our romantic evening."

As I followed Tracy up the stairs I slipped my hand up under her dress and cupped one of her cheeks. This made her jump a little. She tried to swat my hand away as she tried to run up the stairs laughing. I chased her into the bedroom where she turned around and grabbed me and began kissing me all over my face.

I dropped down on my knees in front of Tracy and slowly pushed the front of her dress up and began kissing the inside of her thighs. I have always loved doing this to her. When I reached the top of her stockings and felt the warm soft flesh of her bare thigh against my cheek I could smell her musky scent. I started moving slower kissing first one thigh and then the other as I moved up toward my ultimate reward. The soft mound at the junction of her legs that held her sexual treasure was my goal but I was in no hurry to get there which was beginning to make Tracy restless. She was beginning to push her hips down trying to cause contact between my face and her hot mound. When I did finally press my mouth against the crotch of her black lace panties, I felt the moist heat on my lips. I reached up and pulled the narrow strip of material aside and began to trace the outline of her nether lips with the tip of my tongue. I began to increase the pressure of my tongue against her slit and Tracy put her hands on my shoulders for support as her pelvis began to move ever so slightly. My tongue began to open the crease in the middle of her vulva causing some of Tracy's sexual juices to coat my tongue, lips and chin. 

I pushed my tongue up inside her and clamped my lips on her clitoris and started driving Tracy toward an orgasm. When it started Tracy had to lean back against the bed while still holding onto my shoulders so that she wouldn't fall down. 

When her orgasm passed, we climbed onto the bed and Tracy started playing with my stiff member. She moved down the bed and took it into her mouth and for the next several minutes she sucked and licked my cock in a slow loving manner. Then she pulled away letting my cock slip from her mouth.

"Earlier tonight you mentioned my not talking to you but wanting sex when we came to bed. I just want you to know I was not having any fantasies. I was trying to show you that I loved you. I was having a problem being able to look at you when we talked because I was afraid you would see that I was hiding something from you. I just thought that in the dark I could show you how I felt without having to look into your eyes. I just want to make sure that you know that I love you and I was not lying when I said I never intended to have sex with Barry. That was never going to happen," Tracy said.

Tracy took me back into her mouth and teased the bulbous head of my engorged cock with her tongue and had me on the brink of climaxing at least three times and each time she backed off and let me recover. Next I lay on my back and Tracy stood up on the bed and removed her panties while I watched. Then she stood with one foot on each side of my hips and lifted her dress up to expose the tops of her legs and her hot little pussy. Tracy slowly lowered herself down and used her hand to guide my shaft into her warm wet tunnel. She pumped herself up and down on my cock until she had an orgasm. Then she collapsed onto my chest and lay still for a minute. 

When her breathing returned to normal I rolled us over so that I was on top and began stroking myself into her fast and hard and soon felt my orgasm building. When I felt the first pulse of my ejaculation I could not help but let out a deep groan of pleasure.

When Tracy had milked the last drop of semen from my limp member, I rolled onto my back and lay quietly next to Tracy.

After a few minutes Tracy said, "You know what I love?"

Then she took my hand and pressed it against her pussy and forced two of my fingers inside her cum filled channel. "I love the way my pussy feels after you fill me up with your cum." 

My fingers played in her messy slit and I could hear the squishy noises it was making. That was the first time I had ever done that and I was beginning to enjoy the feel of her post sex pussy. I knew that I was enjoying it because I soon had another erection. Afterward, as we lay in bed snuggling Tracy asked, "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"No. I think it's better if we just put this behind us," I said.

A few minutes later I drifted off into the best sleep I had in three weeks.

In the morning Tracy and I had breakfast together and she stopped me at the door and kissed me.

"I love you, "She said.

"I love you too."

I was feeling good about myself as I backed my car out of the driveway and started off to work but my good mood suddenly began to turn sour and I didn't understand why. Something was eating at me but I wasn't consciously aware of what it was. By the time I got to my office some of the pieces to the puzzle started to fit together and my mood soured even more. 

Tracy had chosen to be with me the night before but in retrospect I still couldn't be sure if it was because she loved me. Had she just realized that I might know what was going on and decided to make arrangements to meet me for dinner at eight o'clock to make me think that she had decided not to have an affair with Barry and then she went to meet Barry to make arrangements to see him on his next visit? I tried to tell myself that wasn't the case but I remembered all of the subtle hints I had been giving Tracy that I knew what was going on. After all, I still didn't know why she agreed to meet him in the first place. Then there were the things he said during their phone conversation about how they danced and about the kiss they shared. 

I was no longer sure that I had saved my marriage. I may have only postponed the end.

I was sitting at my desk trying to get some work done when the little box popped up in the lower right corner saying that there was a message from Foxman@xxxxx.com. It was 10:30 AM so I waited till after lunch and then I opened Tracy's e-mail. I no longer had the patience to wait till after five o'clock to find out what was in the note and see if Tracy answered him.

Barry's note read, "T, Sorry about the mess the other night. How did he know you were going to meet me in the hotel bar? Anyway, I will be back in Cincinnati in a month. Can we try and get together then?"

I had to wait ten minutes before I could bring myself to look at Tracy's send file to see if she responded and if so what she said. When I finally had my heart rate back below 100 I opened Tracy's send file and there was her reply. I hesitated for a moment before I opened it hoping that by waiting just a little longer there might be good news for me in her in her reply to Barry.

I can't say that my hesitation is what did the trick but the news was good. Tracy's reply read, "Barry, Agreeing to meet you was a big mistake and I don't plan to make that mistake again. I think I was able to save my marriage and I don't want to put it at risk again. Do not try to contact me again. Tracy."

I closed Tracy's mail and sat back in my chair feeling relief again. The concerns I had earlier in the day were still unanswered but I had told Tracy that I didn't want to talk about it so I decided I would not bring the subject up again. I would just have to live with the fact that I would never have answers to those questions. 

Our life had gotten somewhat back to normal. Tracy was the loving wife that she had always been and out sex life was good too but I was still nagged by doubts caused by the unanswered questions. Several times I came close to bringing up the subject of Barry and why she ever agreed to meet with him in the first place but everything else was going so well that I was afraid I would ruin everything.

In spite of the fact that I had seen nothing to indicate any kind of a problem in our marriage I continued to check Tracy's e-mail and listen to her phone calls if I didn't know who she was talking to. On a couple of occasions when Tracy had called and said she had to work late I drove by her office to make sure her car was in the parking lot and then later I called her office to make sure she was there.

By the middle of September I was beginning to realize that I was acting foolishly. I had spent many hours reviewing in my head everything that had happened and one thing had become clear to me. Tracy had never stopped loving me. I still had no idea why she agreed to meet Barry that night but I knew it was time to put that behind us and move on. I decided to stop spying on Tracy and trust her. Having made that decision I felt as though a large weight had been lifted of my chest but that feeling was short lived. 

It started one Saturday afternoon when I came in the house after mowing the lawn and heard Tracy talking on the phone. I didn't hear much but I did hear her say, "He just came in, I have to go," and then she hung up the phone.

"Who was on the phone?" I asked.

"My mother."

"What did she want?"

"She just wanted to talk," Tracy said.

There was something in Tracy's voice that told me she wasn't telling the truth but I had no good reason to challenge her. 

On Monday when I checked her e-mail there were no new notes and she had erased all of her old notes. I checked her e-mail several times that week. There was never any new mail. I was beginning to suspect that Tracy must have opened a new e-mail account but I had no way to find that out. 




On Being Proactive



The following week Tracy started acting the way she did during the period leading up to her date with Barry. She wasn't talking to me very much and when she did she would not look at me. Then at night when we went to bed she wanted to have sex. 

Was she planning to get together with Barry again or could this be a new man? Maybe the excitement she had gotten out of her near affair with Barry had whet her appetite for having an affair and now she had found another man. I was getting that same pain in my stomach and I was losing sleep again.

The following weekend Jill and Frank and their son Frank junior came up to visit and go to a Reds' game with us. They stayed for the weekend and we had a great time with them and I hoped that it would help things between Tracy and me. That Saturday night we were all sitting in the back yard having a few beers and grilling some steaks. Tracy, Jill and Frank were talking about some of there old friends when Frank brought up the subject of Barry Fox. He asked Tracy if she had ever gotten a hold of Barry's wife Karen. When Tracy said that she hadn't, Frank told her the whole story about how Karen had divorced Barry for having several affairs and about how he had girlfriends in different cities and then he went into detail about how Barry pretended to have to travel on business so he could visit his girlfriends. I couldn't believe it. Frank had enlightened Tracy with the truth about Barry and I had never even mentioned his name. 

I thought that if Tracy had been thinking of getting together with Barry again maybe she would change he mind now that she heard this story about Barry from Frank. Now she had to know what kind of person he really was. 

Tracy's expression didn't change so I couldn't tell how this news affected her. She didn't ask any questions so I had no way to know what she was thinking. Did this upset her or did she not care anymore? Although I didn't know how she felt about the news, I was glad Frank brought it up.

The situation came to a head in October. My birthday is on October 11, which fell on the second Friday of the month. In years past Tracy would work on me for weeks trying to get hints from me about what I wanted for my birthday. This year she never even asked once. By Thursday Tracy wasn't even speaking to me anymore. It was as though our marriage was already over but someone forgot to tell me. 

Friday morning I got up early and left for work before Tracy got up. I tried to stay busy but I was heart broken. I couldn't understand how things could have been going so well for us and suddenly turn so bad. By eleven o'clock that morning I hadn't accomplished a thing and was thinking of taking the rest of the day off as a sick day.

I hadn't quite decided whether to go home or not when Jack Farris called me. Jack is my boss. He said that our office in Lexington was having some network problems and he wanted me to drive down there to fix the problem.

"Can't Tom handle the problem?" I asked.

Tom Mosley was the network manager in the Lexington office.

"Tom is on vacation today," Jack said.

It was an eighty-five mile drive to the Lexington office and I got there around 1:30 PM. When I walked in the door I was told that they had just gotten the network back on line. I was a little pissed that I had driven all the way to Lexington for nothing. Apparently Tom Mosley had called in from home and was able to fix the problem over the phone. 

Brian Cadwell, the office manager, apologized for the inconvenience and then invited me to go across the street to a Starbucks for a cup of coffee before heading back to Cincinnati. I arrived back in my office at 4:15 PM. There were two report requests sitting on my desk with a note from Jack asking me to pull the data for the reports and get them finished before I went home. I was upset that he would stick me with this late on a Friday afternoon after sending me to Lexington. It would take me two hours to pull the necessary data and finish the reports. 

"Screw it," I said to myself. I didn't have anywhere to go anyway and the idea of rushing home to a wife that doesn't even want to talk to me wasn't all that appealing so having something to occupy my time was a bit of a blessing.

I was about to start working on the reports when I saw the message light on my phone blinking. I dialed into my voice mail and received one message. The message was left for me at 1:30 that afternoon and it was from Tracy. 

"Allen, I am going out with some girls from work tonight. I might be late so don't wait up for me. I asked Sarah to come over until you get home but don't be too late." 

Out with the girls? Who the fuck is she trying to kid?

Then I thought maybe she wasn't trying to fool me. Maybe she was sending a clear message that she had something going on and didn't care if I knew about it.

I picked up my phone and called Tracy's office and was told that Tracy had already left for the day. I called home and Sarah answered the phone and said that Tracy had already left there.

"Did she say where she was going?" I asked.

"No."

"How was she dressed?"

"She was wearing jeans and a sweater," Sarah said.

That didn't tell me anything.

I tried Tracy's cell phone but she didn't answer. I left her a message asking her to call me but I didn't have much hope that she would call. I wondered if there was any significance to Tracy doing this to me on my birthday.

This time I couldn't do anything to stop her. I had no idea where she went and if she wouldn't answer her phone there was nothing else I could do. It struck me that maybe I should not have interfered with Tracy when she had her date with Barry. If I had just let her go then the death of our marriage would already be over and instead of going through this pain again, I would have already started to rebuild my life.

I tried to put all of that out of my mind and started pulling the data for the reports. At 6:15 I was finishing the second report when my phone rang. 

"Allen?"

"Yes"

"It's Jackie Winters."

"Hi Jackie, what's up?" I asked.

"Allen, I don't know what is going on and this may not be any of my business but I thought I should try to get a hold of you."

The tone of Jackie's voice alarmed me. 

"Jackie, what is going on?" I asked.

"I was getting ready to go home at 5:30 and I was standing in my office when I saw Tracy come into the hotel and check in. Did you know she was getting a room here tonight?" Jackie asked.

"No, I didn't. Is the room in her name?" I asked.

"Yes, and she left a note for somebody at the desk."

"Can you tell me who the note was for and what it said?" I asked.

"It seems that you are always asking me for information I shouldn't be giving you. Why don't you just come over? We will talk when you get here."

"Thanks Jackie. I'll be over in a few minutes." I said

I quickly finished up the second report and put both reports in the internal mail and sent them to Jack. Then I took the ten minute walk to the Marriott. I went to the registration desk and asked for Jackie Winters and she came out of the office about two minutes later. Jackie led me over to a sofa in the lobby and we sat down. 

"I'm sorry that I had to be the one to break this to you," she said. "You have to promise me you won't do anything foolish."

"I just need to know who she left the note for and then I have to talk to her."

"The note was addressed to somebody named John, no last name. Inside the envelope was a key card to her room and a note that said I'm in room 706 come on up and let yourself in."

"John? I have no idea who that might be. Did anyone pick the note up yet?" I asked.

"No, and no one can," Jackie said. "I have the note in my pocket. I am going to give you the key card for room 706 so that you can go up and talk to Tracy before this John person shows up. I have instructed the desk attendants to call the room if he shows up while you are up talking to Tracy. Now you have to promise not to do anything stupid. Remember I am taking a risk giving you a key to her room and if there is trouble I could lose my job."

"Jackie, I promise I won't do anything that will get you in trouble. I just need to talk to Tracy and see if I can stop her from doing whatever it is she has planned," I said. "Thanks Jackie, I do appreciate this and I won't forget that you helped me."

I took the key card from Jackie's hand and headed to elevators. The ride up to the seventh floor was the longest, short or should I say the shortest long elevator ride I had ever been on. Part of me wanted to get to Tracy's room as quickly as possible and get this confrontation over with but the other part of me was dreading this confrontation because I was afraid this meeting was quite possibly going to mean the end of our marriage.

When I got to the door at 706 I stopped and listened for a minute. I could hear the television but nothing else. I took a deep breath and reached out to put the key card in the reader. My hand was shaking so badly that I had to use both hands to guide the card into the reader.

The light on the reader turned red and I pulled the card out quickly and rechecked the room number. I was at the correct room then I realized that I had put the key card in the reader upside down. I turned the card around and inserted it again. This time the light was green. 

I pulled the card out and opened the door as quietly as I could and stepped into the room. On the wall to my left just inside the door was a closet with sliding doors made of mirrors. One door was partially opened and I could see a suitcase on the floor inside the closet. Seeing the suitcase gave me a sinking feeling because it told me that Tracy wasn't planning on going home that night. I wondered if she was ever planning to come home again. 

To my right was the bathroom door which was closed. A quick look into the reflection in mirrored doors showed me that no one was in the bedroom. I could hear water running in the bathroom so I knew where Tracy was. 

I let the room door swing closed hoping that Tracy would hear it and she did. 

"Oh good you're here," she called. "I just got out of the shower. There is some beer in the ice bucket on the table. Help yourself and I'll be out in a few minutes."

My first impulse was to charge into the bathroom and grab Tracy by the throat and ask her why she was doing this to me... To us but I didn't dare allow myself to react with violence. Nothing good could come of that. Besides, I was curious to see how Tracy would be dressed when she came out of the bathroom. Would she be naked or fully dressed? I felt that if she was naked or wearing a sexy negligee when she came out of the bathroom that it probably meant this was not the first time she had been with this John person but if she was fully clothed it may be their first time together. 

I walk into the bedroom and got one of the beers from the ice bucket and sat in a chair next to the table and stared at the television with no comprehension of what I was watching.

I had finished about half of my beer when I heard the bathroom door open. Tracy stepped out of the bathroom and crossed to the closet without even looking in my direction. She was dressed in only a black bra and matching panties and as she bent over to get something out of her suitcase I was treated to a great view of her beautiful ass. Through the sheer material I could see the smoothly rounded globes separated by the shadowed valley that hid her treasures. Unfortunately, I wasn't really in the mood to fully appreciate the view.

Tracy was still bent over looking through her suitcase when she began to speak. 

"Our dinner reservation is for 7:30 so we have time to fool around a little if you want." She said.

I stood up and started walking toward her. I wanted to be close enough to her when she realized that it was me in the room and not her lover that I would be able to see the surprise and then the fear in her eyes. I knew that I wasn't going to hurt her but she wouldn't know that.

When I was less than four feet away from her I called out, "Tracy." 

Tracy straightened up spun around quickly to face me. As she turned I could see that she had something in her hand but as she turned to face me she hid whatever it was behind her back. 

I took another step forward as I made eye contact with her. I waited for her face to register the fear I knew she must be feeling at that moment but rather than show fear, Tracy smiled at me. I was unprepared for that and was unable to speak while I considered what this might mean. Did Tracy not care that I had caught her. She must have known that I would never hit her and now she was going humiliate me by rubbing my face in the fact that she was waiting for another man in a hotel room. She didn't even seem to be interested in how I found out she was going to be there. 

"Allen."

I had expected, no, hoped that after a few seconds her initial reaction would change but it didn't, she just continued to smile at me. I couldn't believe how coolly she was handling this situation. She never broke eye contact with me and I could still find no words to press my offensive. I was trying to think of what I could say that would give me the advantage in this confrontation again but before I could come up with anything Tracy surprised me again. She brought her hand out from behind her back and handed me a large blue envelope that had my name printed on it in large letters.

I stood staring at Tracy in dumb silence unable to utter a word.

"Happy birthday sweetheart," Tracy said and then she gave me a tender kiss on the lips.

Suddenly my legs went weak and I had to back pedal to the bed and sit down. 

"What's this?" I finally stammered. "What's going on here?"

"There are actually two things going on here," Tracy said. "First, was your punishment for spying on me, listening to my phone calls, reading my e-mail and generally not trusting me. Second, and most important is this is your birthday surprise and I'll bet you're really surprised." 

"I don't know what to say... Wait a minute. This is your idea of revenge. I spied on you a little and so you decide to get even by having a fling with some guy named John on my birthday?" I asked.

"Who's John?" Tracy asked.

"You left a note for some guy named John at the reception desk with this room number and a key. So don't try to act innocent. Who the hell is John?" I said.

"I don't know who John is," she said. 

"Are you trying to tell me that you didn't arrange to meet some guy here tonight?" I asked.

"No, I am not trying to tell you that. You're right. I did arrange to meet a guy here tonight. I arranged to meet the man I love, the most important man in my life," she said.

"I was beginning to feel dizzy. Had she put something in my beer? I really didn't think she would do anything like that. I knew that the problem was that she had gained the upper hand in this confrontation and I was struggling to get it back with no success. 

"So when is he coming?"

"He is already here silly."

"Who is already here?"

"You are. The man I love, the one who is most important to me is you. Haven't you figured that out yet?" she said.

The realization of what she was telling me was starting to sink in but I was still confused.

"Well, then who is John?" I asked again.

"There is no John. John was just a name that Jackie put on an envelope for me," Tracy said.

"Jackie was in on this?"

"I needed someone to get you to come down here without giving away what I was up to," she said. "I didn't know what name Jackie was going to put on the envelope, I left it up to her because the name didn't matter as long as it wasn't Barry. I though about using Barry's name but realized that would have been too cruel and thought that it might make you a little too crazy."

Now the whole thing was starting to come clear in my head. I had been royally set up.

"How many other people were involved in this?"

"Your boss," Tracy started. "I needed him to get you tied up so that you would not get my voice mail message until it was too late for you to do anything about it. Sarah, because I had to explain what she was to tell you if you called or showed up at home. Your parents, because they had to stop by the house to pick the kids up for the weekend. There were a few others that had minor parts like the office manager in Lexington who told you that their network came back up just before you arrived and then got you to stay for a little while before driving back to Cincinnati."

"You did all this to punish me because I spied on you a little?" I asked. "You drove me crazy for the last three weeks and then tell me it was your birthday gift to me? On top of all that you involved my family and friends in this. My behavior may have been out of line but this was way over the top Tracy. This was just plain cruel."

"Jackie is the only one who knows the whole story. The others only thought they were helping me surprise you for your birthday. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Originally your birthday and this revenge, if that's what you want to call it, were supposed to be two separate things," she said. "When I realized that you were listening to my telephone conversations and discovered that you had been reading my e-mail, I was hurt and angry that you didn't trust me. Then you started to check up on me at work if I had to put in any overtime. I know that I put the doubts about me in your mind but if you would have just sat down with me and talked about what happened with Barry and why and asked any question that were bothering you right after it happened I could have put your mind at ease. You refused to discuss it and you let those doubts eat at you and cause you to distrust me. So, I started acting like I did before the incident with Barry thinking that as soon as you noticed my behavior you would challenge me about it and we would finally have the conversation we should have had three months ago."

"I had been planning this weekend by ourselves for your birthday for more than a month," she continued, "but when instead of questioning my suspicious behavior you chose to escalate your spying I escalated my plan to teach you a lesson. I hadn't intended to carry it this far until Jill and Frank came to visit."

My head was spinning between the relief of finding out that Tracy wasn't going to have an affair and anger over the cruel trick she played on me.

"What did their visit have to do with this?" I asked. 

"It was obvious that you thought my behavior meant that I was planning to get together with Barry," she said.

"What made you think that?" I asked.

"It was obvious that you put Frank up to bringing up that stuff about Barry. You got him to tell that story about Barry's divorce and all his girlfriends. You put Frank up to doing a character assassination on Barry because you were afraid that I was planning to get together with him. Even after I told you that I had never had any intention of having an affair with Barry you still didn't believe me. I could almost have forgiven you for that but when you got Frank involved in our problem and used him to tell those stories about Barry that was just too much. You couldn't trust me enough to know that I wouldn't allow myself to be seduced by Barry so you tried to make him out to be a real scum bag to make sure I would lose interest in him and you used my friends to do it..."

I put my hand up to stop her. I was now sufficiently prepared to defend myself.

"Just a damn minute," I said. "First of all, as to whether Barry is a scum bag or not, think about this. What do you call a man who tries to get a married woman to go up to his hotel room with him knowing he might destroy that woman's marriage? I would call him a scum bag, wouldn't you? That makes me wonder what you were thinking. You thought he was married and yet you still agreed to meet him that night."