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As Long As It Takes

By: DG Hear



Thanks to my editors, LadyCibelle and Techsan, who always make my stories a better read. There's no sex in this story. It's a story of dealing with cheating.

*

Chapter 1

It's been three years since our divorce was finalized. Beth and I were married for nearly eighteen years before our breakup. We were high school sweethearts and married shortly after graduation. At the time we had no other lovers but each other. There is something to be said about that. It is really a good thing; love outweighs just sex any day of the week. Of course you don't really realize it till it's too late.

We led I guess what you might call a good life. We had four kids together: Amy, Brad, Carla, Daryl. We called them the alphabet kids. After Daryl was born I had a vasectomy. I didn't want the whole alphabet. Amy and Brad are in college now, but Carla and Daryl still live with Beth, my ex-wife. 

What happened? What went wrong? We seemed to be a happy family. We were good parents and supported everything our kids did. We were like most young couples, struggling to make ends meet. I worked in a manufacturing plant and Beth started working at the local Wal*Mart store, once the two older kids started school. The younger kids started in day care when one of us wasn't home to watch them. It wasn't the greatest thing to do but in today's society, that's how it goes.

I often wonder how my parents and grandparents were able to do it with the women not working. I don't know whether to blame society or materialism. We wanted a lot of 'things' and we wanted them too fast.

Our love life started off great like probably most young people. We did it all the time, day or night. As the kids were born we did it less and less. It's probably that way with most families. We just didn't have the time or so we thought. Looking back, the problem was us. We started taking each other for granted. Our love life became a 'hurry up and do it'. We reached our climaxes but it was nothing like the days of old; the sweat and 'I love you so much' type of sex. In a sense I guess it became boring, but only because we didn't put the love in it where it belonged.

I eventually got a promotion to supervisor. Our financial situation became much better. As the kids became older we were able to go out once in a while. Dinner and a movie was enjoyable. It started to put a little of the luster back into our somewhat boring relationship. I guess all marriages go through it. You love each other but take each other for granted.

Beth came home one day and said she wanted to go out with the other girls at work. I didn't see any problem with that since our kids were now old enough to take care of themselves. This happened about four years ago. Beth got dressed in slacks and a blouse. She looked nice. She was like a lot of women always worried about her weight but she always seemed to look nice at any weight.

When she got home, I asked her if she had a nice time. She told me she did and about some of the other girls. I have nothing against Wal*Mart but a lot of the women that worked there were divorced and separated. It didn't seem like the type of people that Beth should be partying with. I told her so and she got mad at me for downgrading her friends. 

"I did no such thing," I told her. "It's just that these women will look for men and you'll be there with them." She looked at me a little sheepish. We were together for eighteen years. I knew all her moods. I know I hit a nerve.

"Well, did you dance with any men?" I asked.

She delayed in answering me but then said, "I didn't do anything wrong. Yes, I danced with a couple of guys and that was all."

I knew a little more happened but didn't push the issue right then. She told me that she and her friends were going to go out once a month. I wasn't really happy with it but what could I really say. I would have to just wait and see.

The following month she wore a skirt with pantyhose. I watched her get dressed. She didn't say much to me. I told her that I would be waiting up for her. It was past midnight when she came in. She looked at me and started to go to the room to change. 

As she started toward the bedroom, I asked her, "When you left, you had pantyhose on. Where are they?"

"It was hot and I took them off," was all she said.

"Beth, this is starting to get out of hand. We need to talk," I said.

She asked me to leave the room so she could undress. I told her that she had undressed in front of me for eighteen years and wanted to know what was so special about that night. I walked up to her and grabbed her by the arm. It was something I had never done.

"Please don't, Jerry, I beg you, please don't." 

She knew what I was about to do as I reached under her skirt and found her pantyless.

She started crying as I pushed her away. Her pussy was sopping wet with another man's juices. 

"Well, I guess that answers why no pantyhose, doesn't it?" I remarked.

"I'm sorry, Jerry. It just happened. I was drinking at this party and Joe kept telling me how beautiful I was and then he kissed me, and began touching me. I've never been with anyone but you Jerry. The girls kept telling me how good Joe is and I let it happen."

"No one man came that much in you. You had more than one man, didn't you?" I asked.

"When Joe took me, I was lying on the bed and a couple of other guys came in and took advantage of me also."

"They didn't take you; you let them all fuck you. Doesn't our marriage mean anything to you? Didn't you at least think about me or the kids?"

"Jerry, I'm sorry. It wasn't love like you and I have. It was raw sex and I liked it. Barb, one of the other girls, is married and she told me she and her husband are into swapping. I don't want to lose you, Jerry. Please come with me one time and try it," she begged.

I needed to think; my mind was going in a hundred different directions. I told her I didn't want to talk anymore right then. My mind didn't comprehend what just happened. I told her we could talk the next day. I'd sleep on the couch that night.

In the morning after the kids left, I got dressed and went to work. Beth was still sleeping from her hard night. I couldn't keep my mind on my job and took the afternoon off. I went to where Beth was working and walked up to her. She smiled at me; she was a cashier that day and at the next register was her friend Barb. I had read the name on her name tag.

"Honey, how come you're not at work?" 

Her friend Barb kept eyeing me.

"I'm going to see Jeff, our lawyer today. I'm getting a divorce." I turned around and walked out.

Behind me I heard Beth yelling at me to wait. She had a customer at the register and wasn't sure what to do. I guess she was in panic mode. I didn't wait as I walked briskly out the door and got in my truck and left. I went straight to the house and packed most of my clothing. I threw it all into boxes and put it in the truck. I had no idea where I was going but I knew where I didn't want to be. I did leave a note for my kids. I told them that their mother and I were getting a divorce and she could explain it to them. I really would like to know how she was going to explain this one. Probably make it my fault. She was good at blaming me for most things.

I ended up going to my parents' house. They were in their sixties and had been married over forty years. I told them that Beth and I were separating and would probably get divorced. I know it hurt them because they really liked Beth and this was probably a shock. I told them I needed a place to stay and they offered me the whole basement. It was all remodeled and had a nice bedroom and even a small kitchenette and living room set up down there. They told me I could stay as long as I needed. They didn't much use the basement anymore. They didn't like the stairs. About two years ago they moved the washer and dryer upstairs after Mom's hip replacement.

I might ramble on a little while telling you this story. There's so much to tell you. I know you want to know about Beth and what the kids thought as well as input from the lawyer and a few other people.

I told Mom and Dad that Beth wanted more freedom. It was kind of hard to explain that she wanted to fuck other people. I didn't want to tell my parents that. I just told them that we felt differently about a number of things and didn't think we could come to an agreement. They weren't happy with that explanation but that was all I could tell them for now. I did make it over to Jeff's, our lawyer, and he told me that Beth had already called twice. I asked him if he was going to represent me or her.

"She doesn't want a divorce, Jerry. She thinks you can work this out."

"Answer my question, Jeff. Are you her lawyer or mine?" I asked again.

"I'm hers, Jerry. She called me first and I accepted the case. I'm sorry; if you would have called me, I would have been yours. Please talk with her, Jerry; you are both my friends and I hate seeing you two in divorce court."

"Did she tell you why I walked out, Jeff? Why I want a divorce?" I asked.

"She said you two had an argument about her going out. She got drunk and cheated on you," he replied.

"Truth time, Jeff. She went out after I told her I had a bad feeling about it. She fucked three men and then asked me if I wanted to swap with her friends. There's your case, Jeff. I'm going to see Sally Black; we both know she's the best in the business. I'll have her call you as soon as we get a plan together. Thanks for nothing, Jeff." 

I turned around and walked out.

Sally was the best divorce lawyer in the state. She was as hard-nosed as they come. I knew a few men who went against her and they were all taken to the cleaners. I called Sally and she gave me an appointment for the next day. She told me not to talk to Beth until we had our meeting. I asked her about the kids and she told me to have my parents call them and tell them we would talk in the next couple of days.

My parents did call the kids and talked to Amy, our oldest. They told Amy that I would call them and talk to them in the next few days. They mentioned that if any of the kids had an emergency to call them; also that I would be staying at their house.About two hours later, Beth called the house. She told my dad she needed to talk to me. I shook my head no and my dad said that my lawyer said not to talk to her that day. I would call her after meeting with my lawyer. I heard my dad say to Beth. "Beth, I don't know what happened between you two but you must have hurt Jerry terribly. I've never seen him like this." He talked a little more and hung up the phone. He looked over at me and said, "Beth told me to tell you she loves you and not to do this to your family."

I was pissed. I knew she was going to throw it in my lap, make it my fault. My mom was out of the room so I told my dad the truth. I told him not to tell Mom because it would crush her; she loved Beth. He had tears in his eyes when he left the room. My dad was a pretty sentimental guy.

I did go to work the next day. I wasn't allowed to accept personal calls in the plant except for emergencies. I told my manager about applying for a divorce and to make sure no calls were forwarded from Beth as emergencies. I was glad to be working; it kept my mind focused on something other than Beth.

I met with Sally after work. She was a beautiful lady but pretty much all business. "Jerry, what do you want to happen here?" she asked.

"Wow, I guess I'm not really sure. You see, I love Beth. I really do and probably always will. I don't want to destroy her or anything like that. I just can't live with the lifestyle she wants. I'm not into sharing her and I'm not interested in having sex with just anybody. I am somewhat worried about the kids. I know they're older but I don't want her bringing every Tom, Dick and Harry to the house. Although I don't think she would do such a thing, but I didn't think she would cheat on me either."

Sally spoke, "Jerry, people go through this every day. We can do whatever you want. I take it you don't want the affair situation publicly known for the sake of the kids. You need to support them and we can pretty much dictate the amount. You can give or take whatever you want. You're in the driver's seat here. We might have to use the affair as a weapon to get things settled but we'll go for irreconcilable differences in the end. Is that all right with you?"

"You're my lawyer. I'll follow your advice," I replied.

"You make a pretty hefty salary now. Since she is working we probably can get away with five hundred a week in child support and as the kids turn eighteen, knock off about fifty dollars a week. No spousal support, and when all the kids are over eighteen the money stops. You'll also be responsible for their medical. As far as higher education, it's up to you if you want to supply any. You don't have to legally. Your oldest is seventeen and your youngest is twelve. So you will have to pay some support for the next six years. Do you want to go with this or do you want something else?"

"What about our savings and my retirement package?"

"All the savings will be divided equally as well as any bills that are in both of your names. You have two vehicles so you can each have one. Your retirement is exactly that, your retirement. We won't let her touch that. The house and furnishings are the only things left. What would you like done with them?"

"Our house is worth about two hundred thousand and we owe about sixty thousand but my kids live there. I'm not sure what to do," I said.

"I have an idea to throw at you. In many cases like yours where you're not after revenge and there are kids involved, I suggest that you let her have the house to live in until the children are all grown and out of the house. Say age twenty-one for an example. At that time the house will be sold and the money divided equally, or one of the two parties can buy the house at half the worth minus what's owed on it. She will be responsible for half the house payment."

"So much to go through. Why wasn't I enough for her? Eighteen fucking years down the drain. I guess we can go with that. What if either Beth or Jeff want to fight it?" I asked.

"Then we pull out the big guns and bring up the cheating. I'm pretty sure they don't want that. If they do, then we'll ask for custody and a fifty-fifty split of everything and of course no support since she won't have the kids."

I took the next day off and Sally called Jeff and told him that she had an offer for him and Beth and asked if they could be at her office at noon. Of course Jeff balked about coming to Sally's office but agreed to it knowing it was a no-win situation for him.

Jeff and Beth showed up at the same time. I figured Jeff told her to wait for him in the parking lot. There we were at the table, Sally and me on one side and Jeff and Beth on the other.

Jeff spoke first; he knew Sally and wasn't happy about being on the opposite side. "Nice to see you again, Sally. I know how you operate and like to get down to business. Before you make us an offer, Beth would like to talk privately with Jerry."

"No," I said. "She did her talking the other night. I will talk to her only after the papers are signed. Everyone here is aware of why I'm asking for the divorce." I looked directly at Beth, "If you're afraid of having you're love life being exposed, please listen to my offer. I think it is most generous."

Sally said, "Well, that question was answered. Mrs. Cohen, Jerry has made you a very fair offer." Sally handed a copy to Beth and one to Jeff. "He will use irreconcilable differences for the reason of separation. As you can see, he has given you a decent income while your children are living at home. The only debatable issue here is the house. I think Jerry has been very fair in his offer here also."

Jeff spoke again. "We need time to look over this document and see about a possible counteroffer. Sally, I will talk with Beth and get back to you in the next couple of days."

"Jeff, just so we are clear on the issue, there will be no counteroffer. If you turn this offer down, which I believe would be very ill advised, Mr. Cohen will file under adultery and ask for custody of the kids and the house."

Beth looked up and was crying. Sally was playing hard ball and it hurt me to see Beth cry. Beth grabbed a pen and asked where to sign, without even reading it. She was crying full-fledged tears then. She was afraid of losing her kids.

"Mrs. Cohen, please calm down," replied Sally. "Jerry doesn't want to hurt you or the kids. Please take a day or so as Jeff has suggested and see if everything is agreeable. Maybe we have overlooked something. I'm sorry about my threatening tone but I wanted to make it clear that we are offering a very good settlement here. Jerry is seeing to it that you and your kids are well taken care off. So, please take the document and discuss it with your lawyer and Jeff and I will discuss it say tomorrow." Sally handed her tissue box to Beth.

Beth took a couple of tissues and looked at me while her crying lessened some. "Jerry, I do love you no matter what you think. I was just hoping that we could put some time between us and maybe get back together, but I see that you have already made your decision."

"No, Beth, you made my decision for me. You want the freedom to do as you please and I'm giving it to you. The only thing I ask is that you keep your lovers away from my kids, or I'll take them from you. That's a promise."

Beth started crying again as she hurried out of the building. Jeff said goodbye to us and told Sally he would probably see her tomorrow or the next day.

Sally looked at me and told me it looked like I would win this case. I told her there are no winners, only losers. I lost the only woman I ever loved and my kids now live in a single parent home. No, we didn't win; we just got a fair agreement.

My daughter Amy drove the two youngest over to my parents to see me. I was happy to see them. They kept asking questions and I kept telling them that their mom and I weren't getting along and we didn't see eye to eye on some major issues and we would be getting divorced. I tried to explain to them that their mother and I would always be in their lives. We just wouldn't be together.

"Daryl, I will be at your games. I wouldn't miss them, and Carla, when volleyball season gets here, I'll be in the stands rooting for you. I will always be part of your lives." 

I hugged and kissed them all as they told me how much they loved me. I gave them my cell phone number and of course they could always call me at grandma's house.Brad showed up a little later. "Dad, I have a question for you. Did you cheat on Mom?"

"No, Brad, I would never cheat on your mother. Why would you ask me that?"

"Well, Jim, my buddy at school, and Travis, our neighbor, said their parents are divorced and in both cases their dad was caught cheating on their mom. I was hoping you didn't do something like that. God, I love you, Dad, and I'm going to miss you."

"Brad, you won't be missing me. I'm not leaving the country. I'll always be here for all you kids. It will just take some time getting use to our situation."

Chapter 2

Well, the divorce was finalized and I kept my promise to the kids. I went to most of their school functions. I saw Beth at most of them. She was a good mom and if she was having any affairs, she was keeping it very private.

I might mention here that Beth and I were always on speaking terms. We got together for the kids' birthdays and other special occasions. The only agreement we had was she wasn't to mention her dating life to me. We talked about the kids, holidays, my parents; no topic was off limits but her love life. A couple of times she started to say something about a male friend or something along those lines and I would get up and leave.


As Long As It Takes



The agreement that Sally and I wrote up we all signed. I wasn't there when Beth came in to sign it. Sally told me Beth took it pretty hard. We had a few arguments with Jeff on what credit cards would be paid and by whom. I guess that was his way of saving face. I told Sally that if push came to shove, I would pay them. We canceled all our credit cards and had new ones issued in separate names.

I talked with the kids regularly. They told me that their mom accepted the fact that we were divorced and seemed a little happier. I asked them if she dated and they told me no. She did go out with girl friends about once a month. I think I cringed when I heard that.

I never did have that heart to heart with Beth. She wanted the freedom to explore and that wasn't my thought in life. You don't marry someone and decide to find new attractions. It was the way I was brought up. As I mentioned my parents were married over forty years. Maybe we did get married too early and she didn't get a chance for whatever it is she is seeking. I never explored the sexual realm either. I was happy with Beth.

Going back a couple of years, I should mention that I did start dating again. I went out with a few women from work. At my age most women I met and dated were divorced. I made it a point never to date a married woman even if she was separated. I guess it's something I felt inside. I did have sex with a few of these ladies. It just wasn't the same for me. I mean it was good and I treated them all with respect but I always thought about Beth.

It's funny how you can't just shake it off and go on with your life. I tried, believe me I really tried. All the women I dated just didn't do it for me. My best days were the family events when I could see Beth.

One night last year I went out with the guys from work. They said they knew a noisy lounge where the women hung out. Of course you know who I saw there. It must have been ladies night out. I looked up and there she sat. It was funny though because there weren't any men around them yet. I didn't know any of the women she was with. The only one I ever met from her work was Barb and she wasn't there.

I walked up to Beth from the side so she didn't see me coming. "Would you like to dance?" I asked.

"Jerry, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Just out with the guys. Are you waiting for someone or do you want to dance?" I replied.

"No ... yes ... I mean no, I'm not waiting for anyone and yes, I'd love to dance with you. Let me introduce you to my friends." She rattled off a half dozen names and then said, "These women all belong to our card club. About once every six months we go out instead of playing cards and it just happens to be tonight. Now, how about that dance?"

We went up to the dance floor and I held her in my arms. "Just like old times, isn't it?" I said.

She looked up and smiled, as I pulled her tighter. We had two slow numbers in a row and then the band started a fast one. 

"I never could dance to those type songs," I said as I walked her back to her table. She seemed sad that I took her to the table. "Ladies, it was nice meeting you. I better get back to my friends." 

As I walked away, it just didn't seem right. I didn't want to see if she was approached by another man. I told my friends that I had to leave and would see them later. As I walked out the door I turned and saw Beth staring at me.

The next day I got a call from her. She said it was nice to see me out and about and enjoyed being with me. She asked me if I would help plan Amy's wedding reception. My oldest daughter was going to get married. It seemed like just yesterday I held her in my arms. Now here she was ready to start her life with her boyfriend. It's funny Beth called the day after I had seen her since I knew Amy's wedding was a year away.

I told her I thought it was a bit early since it was so far away. She told me that reservations and such have to be made way in advance. I suggested she give Amy a call and make the plans with her. After all it was her wedding. After they got their ideas on paper, I would look at the financial end.

She said that was okay and she would give Amy a call and get things started. I wanted Beth to know that one dance does not put us back together.

I called her about a month later to ask her how the plans were coming along. Carla answered the phone and said that Beth had gone out with friends. I was aggravated but really had no right to be. We've been divorced for over two and a half years now. I did ask Carla if her mom went out regularly and she told me about once a month. I called my buddy Pete and asked him if he wanted to go to the lounge. He was divorced also and enjoyed the ladies.

We walked in and the place was crowded. I saw Beth sitting with a group of people. both men and women. I decided to hell with her; I was going to find another woman to dance with. I saw this young gal probably around thirty. She was dressed really sexy with a mini skirt on and braless. Pete said, "Damn, now that's nice. Check out those gals sitting by themselves."

The gals were seated with some other women who were dressed about the same. They were only a couple of tables away from Beth and her friends. I was walking in the direction of Beth's table when she spotted me. Her mouth kind of flew open and I walked right past her table and to the table with the sexy young chick. "Care to dance?" I asked her.

"Sure, I like older men, especially good looking ones," she replied. I knew she said it loud enough that Beth heard her.

We got up and I held her close. I wasn't holding her hand but had my arms around her and had her breasts tight against me. 

"I'm Jerry, and you are a very lovely woman." 

I was dancing almost in front of Beth's table. 

"I'm Rachel and it's nice to meet you, Jerry." 

I kept her close and tried not to look at Beth. The men at Beth's table were staring at Rachel's legs. I would pull on her skirt and give them a little more to look at.

The next one was a fast song but Rachel and I stayed on the floor and danced. I knew this would get to Beth since I never danced fast songs with her. It was followed by another slow one and I grabbed Rachel and held her tight. I slid my hands down one time and squeezed her buns. She just smiled at me. At the end of the song I walked her back to my table and told her maybe we could dance again later.

Rachel replied, "I'd like that."

Pete had just returned to our table also. He danced with one of the other gals who was there at the same table with Rachel.

I was sipping my drink and Pete looked up and said, "Here comes a nice looking broad." He had never met Beth but that's who was coming to our table. "Will you dance with me?" she asked. I looked over at Pete as though she was talking to him. "Jerry, answer me."

I stood up and said, "It would be a pleasure." I looked over at Pete and said, "Pete, meet Beth, my ex-wife." Pete's mouth dropped open remembering he had just called her a broad.

As we were dancing Beth said, "What was that all about? She was all over you. God, she would have fucked you on the dance floor if you would have asked her."

"Isn't that why we're divorced? You wanted me to fuck other women so you could have other men?" I asked.

"Jerry please, you and I never did talk about it. I was wrong."

"Look, Beth, you came home with other men's cum running out of you like a faucet and all you can say is, 'I was wrong.' Maybe I should fuck that little filly and then I can say I was wrong too. Besides, we're not married now. When you went on your fuck spree, you were my wife. My wife, dammit!"

Some guy came up to Beth and I on the dance floor and asked Beth what she was doing. "You're supposed to be my date and you ask this guy to dance," he asked.

I looked at this weasel and said, "Fuck off, Buddy; you're not getting any off Beth tonight." I could tell it really embarrassed Beth.

"Who the fuck are you, her husband or something?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm her husband and you're going to be in the hospital if you don't get the fuck away from us."

Beth started to talk, when I interrupted her. "Do you want to sit with me or go back to your boyfriend here?" Beth was steaming mad and pulled away from me and went back to her table. I grabbed the creep by the arm and told him if he tried having sex with her that night that I would hunt him down and kill him, then I let go of his arm, as he went back to his table.

The two young fillies we danced with earlier came over and sat with us. We switched over to a booth and were feeling them up. I normally don't treat women like this, but Beth had a bird's eye view and I was putting it on pretty thick. I knew Pete was finger fucking the one he was with. These gals were there for one reason that night and that was to get laid. 

The little blond I was with asked if we were ready to leave; she told us she was hot and horny. I asked her to do me a favor first. I pointed over to Beth, who was sitting there looking really mad in our direction, and I asked her to go over and tell that woman that she was going to get her wish that evening. The little blond smiled and walked over and told Beth what I had said and she came back. Beth was furious and tried to get up but was trapped between some other people. By the time she got up, we were gone.

We did have sex with these two hot chicks at Pete's apartment. In fact throughout the night we even changed partners. The sex was great but after they left the next morning I didn't feel complete. I knew what it was - the love was missing.

I had turned off my cell phone and when I turned it on I had ten messages from Beth. She was hot under the collar. She called me every name in the book. On one of her messages she said I ruined her evening; that made me feel good. It was about nine in the morning when I called her. She answered the phone and I asked her if she was calmed down any. She began ranting and raving again saying what a bastard I was and how much I hurt her. Then all of a sudden she stopped.

"How does it feel, Beth? To know the one you love is fucking someone else. It's the life you chose. You fuck who you want, and I'll fuck who I want. To hell with love." 

I could hear her crying as I hung up the phone. I didn't hear from her for a couple of weeks. Then one day she called.

"Jerry, can we talk? I mean about everything. I know it will hurt you because seeing you with that bimbo hurt me, so I know what I did was much worse."

"Beth, it's over now, go on with your life and fuck who you want. I don't care anymore. I just wanted you to get a taste of how it felt."

"Jerry, I haven't fucked a man in two and a half years. The last time was a month after you left me. It wasn't all that good and there was no love. I realized that it was just men using me as a slut. I'm not a slut, Jerry. I was wrong, I was really wrong and there is no way I can prove it to you. I wanted to try and explain it to you but that type of life is not for me. I realized it when Joe asked me if I was his little slut. I slapped him hard across the face. He went to hit me back but I kicked him in the balls before he had a chance. I don't want that life, Jerry; I want the life that we once had. Honest, two and a half years."

"What about that idiot a couple of weeks ago? He said he was your date. He had every intention in bedding you down."

"He was friends of one of the guys at our table. The other men at the table were with their wives. Since I was the only single woman at the table, he assumed he was going to be with me. I had no intention of doing anything other than maybe dancing with him. Besides, he told me you were going to kill him if he laid a hand on me. Did you tell him that?"

"I sure did. Do I have to follow up on my threat?"

"Hell, no, he wouldn't even dance with me. The only reason I went back to the table was that you embarrassed me so badly. Then you sent that bimbo over to let me know you were going to have sex with her. Did you, Jerry? Did you have sex with her?"

"Beth, we're not married. I'm free to do what I want. By the way, whatever happened to your friend Barb? I don't see her with you anymore." 

"They don't belong to the club anymore. She and her husband are divorced. The reason they tried swapping was because they thought it would add a little lust into their marriage. Her husband ended up divorcing her and he and the other man's wife left together. Two more marriages went down in flames."

I thought it was odd she mentioned the club. She mentioned she hasn't gone there for years. 

I thought I'd change the subject. "How are the wedding plans for Amy coming along? You haven't told me much about them and now it's only a few months away," I asked.

"I know you know all the plans. Amy has talked to you a dozen times. I guessed I felt you didn't want to be over here alone with me so that's why we made the plans and just let you verify them."

"I'm not afraid to be alone with you, Beth," I said.

"Oh, yeah? I don't believe you. If you're not afraid of me, then take me out on a date," she laughed.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Beth. It may give the wrong impression. People might think we were getting back together," I replied.

"I knew you were afraid. You still love me like I love you. You just won't admit it," she said.

"Beth, I do love you but the hurt of what you did to me is still there. I see it every time I look at you. When you cheated on me, you took a big part of my heart away. I don't think it's mended yet. I don't know if it will ever be."

"God, I'm so sorry, and there is nothing I can do. Nothing. Jerry, I'm the one who ruined our marriage. I'm the one who lost the only man I ever loved. I'm also living daily with the guilt. I've thought time and time again about taking my own life, but it's the kids that would have to live with that. I've done enough damage to them. I was hoping that one day maybe, just maybe we might get back together."

I didn't know what to think anymore. I never had talked to her and now I hear this. God, my mind was in turmoil. I wanted her, I loved her, I hated what she did to me and to our marriage. What if she followed up on her thoughts?

Was she laying a guilt trip on me? I had to know more before I'd believe her I knew I couldn't live with it if she would take her own life. I thought I knew her well enough to know if she was lying to me, but I don't know anymore. I had to find out for sure, but how? We all have thoughts like that once in awhile. Thank God, we don't follow through on them. I had to say something to her, but what.

"Beth, I'm getting hungry. Care to join me at the Red Lobster for lunch. We could discuss what we'll give Amy for a wedding present?" All I heard for the next thirty seconds was crying.

Then a tiny voice said, "I'd love to."

"Now, Beth, you have to understand that this isn't for sex; it's lunch and a little talk about Amy's wedding."

"I understand," I could almost hear her smiling. 

I stopped by to pick her up and she was standing on the porch waiting. God, she was beautiful. Dressed up in a nice dress that showed ample legs. I pulled up and she came almost running to the car. She got in and just smiled.

We talked about generalities avoiding the heavy stuff. She told me she had bought a dress for the wedding. She told me I better get measured for a tux. I knew I had to wear one, but I don't think any guy looks forward to it. Without thinking, I asked Beth if she would go with me to see how I looked in one. I hadn't worn one since our wedding almost twenty-two years ago.

She looked surprised, and so was I. It just came out - I was so used to asking her opinion when we were married.

"Yes, I'd love to come with you. Just let me know when." 

I could hardly take it back so I told her the following Saturday would be fine. I would have to watch myself; I could get myself into trouble here.

We were seated at the table and we both ordered iced tea. We always ordered the same stuff. We had so much in common.

"Beth, I need to ask you something but I really have to know the truth. I promise after you answer we will never discuss the topic again. Did you mean it when you talked about taking your own life?"

She looked at me with a tear in her eyes. "Don't worry, I won't cry. I've done that enough in the last three years. In answer to your question, yes, I did. I told you I went out once after you left me. I know this is going to sound really stupid but I did it for revenge against you."

"Revenge against me. I don't unders..." 

"I was all mixed up, confused, and felt abandoned by you. I know it wasn't your fault at all but at the time I wasn't thinking rationally. So I went out again to get even with you. I wasn't enjoying it at all and that's when I got up to leave and he called me his slut. I slapped and kicked him and came home crying. The kids were already in bed and I just felt my life was over. I went in and got the whole bottle of sleeping pills and was about to take them when Carla asked if she could sleep with me. She told me she needed me. I stated crying with my little girl asleep in my arms. It's when I prayed to almighty God for help. Calmness came over me and I decided my kids needed me and just maybe you would see the change in my life and want me back."

She brought tears to my eyes. Luckily our meals came and we changed the subject and started eating. Afterwards I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie. We found a good comedy so we could both laugh.

I took her back home and she asked me if I wanted to come in. I told her not then; I had a lot of thinking to do and before she got out of the car she leaned over and kissed me. I didn't stop her; she felt so good like she belonged there. 

"I love you, Jerry, just remember that." 

She got out without me saying anything and went into the house.

Something just didn't fit. She told me twice now that she did the swap thing only one more time a month after I left her. I wanted to believe her but the puzzle pieces didn't fit. For one thing, if you go to a swap club you have to have a partner. Who was hers? It couldn't be this Joe fellow because that's who she swapped to be with. Where was her man when she was fighting off his Joe fellow?

Then the possible suicide, she said time and time again. Yet she only told me about the sleeping pills. I wanted to believe her but I needed answers. My biggest problem was where she went every month and with whom for two and a half years. The kids never mentioned meeting anybody. Maybe she was being honest with me and I was being paranoid.

All our free time was spent getting ready for Amy's wedding. I did have lunch with Beth, Amy, and my son Brad and Amy's fiancé, Ben. We were headed over to be fitted for our tuxes. I swear I looked like a penguin but Amy and Beth both said I looked handsome. Time flew by so fast and before I knew it, it was time for the wedding rehearsal.

I went over to the church and did all the things I was asked to do. No big deal, as Amy and I walked down the aisle and I did some silly things like hopping and skipping, nothing bad, just having a little fun. 

I remember the pastor saying that it would be different the following day. We might be nervous so we should try to remember our parts. I thought, yeah, walk down the aisle and later say, her mom and I. Wow, I thought, who couldn't do that.

Afterwards we all went to the restaurant and ate. I made sure I went; it was something that I didn't have to pay for. Before I left to go home, Beth came up to me. I had hardly said much to her that evening. "Jerry, I'll see you tomorrow." It was something about the way she said it and I leaned over and kissed her. I don't know why, but I did. Maybe it was the joyousness of the occasion, I can't really say. She smiled at me and I left.




As Long As It Takes



I was at the church early just like I was told. The bridesmaids and ushers were all there. People started arriving. I was starting to get a little jittery; Beth was being escorted to the front row. She looked so beautiful. I've never seen her more radiant as she smiled at me.

"How's my penguin today?" she laughed lightly.

"He's scared shitless. His daughter is getting married and his wife never looked more beautiful." I replied.

I realized what I said after I said it. It was true, I've never saw her more beautiful.

"It's okay, Honey, everything will work out fine. You'll do fine, just don't walk on Amy's dress," she smiled at me.

I headed out to the back of the church and waited for Amy. When I saw her coming to be by my side I started crying. She looked like a younger version of Beth. 

"It's okay, Daddy. We can do this. Mom told me to tell you she loves you and not to step on my dress."

It made me chuckle, so much like her mother. I got a little pang hoping Amy wouldn't be totally like her mother. My little girl was getting married. The music started and the bridesmaids and flower girl and everyone else had made their entrance. 

"Well, Dad, here we go," Amy said as we entered the sanctuary of the church. 

We started our walk down the aisle, I kept telling myself don't step on Amy's dress. My eyes were filled with tears as I walked my little girl down the aisle. This was what life was all about, love and family and friends. We made it down to the front of the church with half the people with tears of joy in their eyes. Thank God I wasn't the only one.

"Who gives this woman to be married?' The pastor asked.

What was my line? "Me and Beth ... no, her mother and I," I said. 

I turned to sit next to Beth and she was both smiling and crying.

I whispered to Beth, "I screwed up. One stupid line and I screwed it up."

"Everything is fine, Honey, you did great," Beth whispered.

Through the whole service I was holding Beth's hand, probably to the point of hurting her. She didn't say a word, she just sat there, smiling and crying. I was glad when that service was over. Then we had to stand around for pictures and whatever else they do.

Then it was time for the reception. I needed a drink and went and got one. Everyone was having a good time. Amy and Ben made a nice couple. People were saying it was so nice to see me and Beth together. Every time I heard it Beth just smiled, never saying a word.

The dancing began and they had a parents of the bride dance. I guided Beth onto the floor and started dancing. People started clapping for us. I looked around at all our kids smiling. I looked over at my mom and dad and they both gave me a thumbs up. It looked like everyone was sure about us but me.

After the wedding, Beth asked me if I would drive her home. Of course I said yes. When we got to the house, she asked me if I was coming in. 

I answered saying, "The kids will be home shortly and I don't want them to get the wrong idea."

"They already have the wrong idea. They went home with your mom and dad and will be sleeping in your bed. The only place for you to sleep tonight is in my bed or Brad's'," Beth replied. "Are you going to open my door for me?" she smiled.

I decided what the hell. She wanted me and so I decided to follow my heart. I wanted to make sure I didn't propose or anything. I still had too many unanswered questions.

I got out and walked her to the door. I opened it and she told me to come in. "Jerry, you don't need to marry me tonight. Maybe that time will come and maybe it won't. I do want you to make love to me tonight, just like you used to."

I walked in and we both slowly undressed. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She told me that's because I'm looking through love glasses.

We made love that night, over and over again. In the morning we made love one more time and then she made me breakfast.

"Jerry, I'm not going to push you and I'm not going to rush you, but I will always be here for you. As long as it takes."

I smiled at Beth and left the house. I didn't even kiss her goodbye on purpose. I wanted her to know that the sex was great but I wasn't ready yet. I now had a new problem to ponder. Beth did things to me that we have never done and yet she's been without a lover for almost three years now.

Something was out of kilter. I knew it but couldn't put my finger on it. Everything was too nice, fit together too easy. For over two years Beth never said anything about getting back together. In the last year she was throwing herself at me. I needed to know more.

When I got back to Mom and Dad's, everyone had left. Dad asked me if everything was okay, because I seemed out of sorts. I explained to him that something wasn't right and I needed to find out what.

Even though it was Sunday, I called Sally, my lawyer. I explained the situation and she thought it was odd also. She told me to not say anything for a couple of days. She had a private investigator who would find out what was going on. 

Beth called on Monday and asked me over for dinner. I told her that I was busy and would take a rain check. I had some business to take care of. I didn't tell her I was getting antsy trying to put two and two together and kept coming out with five.

On Thursday Sally called me at work and asked me to get to her office as soon as possible. She said it was extremely important. I asked for the rest of the day off and went to see Sally.

When I got there, Sally told me things I didn't want to hear. I was right about Beth. She belonged to a swap club and her partner was Jeff, her lawyer. It seems that after I walked out, Jeff decided to take my place. Beth, never decided to quit her lifestyle but hide it from me.

I asked Sally why was she coming back after me in the last year. She had her freedom and her life. Why bother me?

"It's all about money, Jerry. In the last three years she has borrowed from the home loan to the tune of a hundred thousand dollars. Instead of owing the sixty thousand, you owe a hundred and sixty thousand," said Sally

"How did she get it? Didn't she need my signature to borrow money against the house? I asked.

"No, when you settled on the credit cards, one was a cash equity loan. You could borrow continually on it to a specified sum. Yours is almost there now. Your friend Jeff slipped that one past us. There was no way of telling once you agreed to pay the credit loans. I'm sorry, Jerry; I should have watched that after the divorce was final. We don't usually do a follow up unless asked and of course Jeff wasn't going to ask."

"Sally, when I spent the night with her I checked through the cabinets for her prescription drugs. There weren't any so I called the doctor and he told me he never wrote a prescription for sleeping pills in the last three years and that Beth has been there for all her physicals. He said she was actually coming every three months instead of six. I asked if she asked to be tested for any sexually transmitted diseases and he told me she had the tests done and is clean." 

Thank God for at least that, I thought. By me paying the medical bills I was at least able to find out this stuff.

"Well, Sally, what do we do now?" I asked.

"The only debt you incurred is the house. We'll put a lien on it for forty thousand and if she ever tries to sell it, you'll get that part of the equity. The rest is a loss to you. As far as the kids go; two are already out of the house. The other two are old enough to decide if they want to live with your ex-wife, with you, or your parents. We will leave that up to them. Jerry, since you told me you will be leaving the state you will probably out of the picture. I'm sure they would want to finish the last years of their schooling here."

"Thanks for everything, Sally; I guess it's all up to me now. Please call and put the freeze on the equity on the house. If the kids choose to live with my Mom and Dad, I'll need you to transfer the child support payment to my parents."

I went home and talked to my mom and dad. I told them both that I could never go back to Beth. Even though my dad already knew, I explained it as though he didn't. Beth cheated on me and I hoped she had given up that lifestyle but she hadn't. If she would have been honest with me, we might have been able to work things out. I knew my parents were deeply hurt but they needed to know the truth.

I stopped by Beth's house while she was at work. I came right out and told the kids the truth. Their mom had cheated on me. I didn't tell them about swapping and the like. I tried to give her time to change but she never did. I thought we had a chance at the wedding but found out she was still lying to me. I could never live with her or trust her again. It just wasn't possible to forgive anymore.

Now I had to tell them I was leaving the state. They could come with me, stay with their mom or live with their grandparents.

Both of the younger kids said they would stay with their mom. Even though she might have boyfriends, she never brought them to the house. Carla told me she never saw strange men at the house. About the only one to visit other than relatives was Jeff. They've known him for years. I didn't have the heart to tell them Jeff was one of her lovers.

They all cried saying they would miss me but I explained that I would only be five hours away if they needed me. They would also be welcome to come and visit me anytime.

"When are you leaving, Dad? asked Brad.

"Next week. Once I get settled in, I'll give you my address and phone number. I love all of you and will help you any way I can.

I called Beth at work. It was something I had never done. 

"Beth, I'll meet you at the tavern. I need to talk with you away from the kids."

She told me she got off work in an hour and would be there. I know she must have thought her plan worked and we would be getting back together.

When she got there I began our talk.

"Beth, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Because of Amy's wedding and making love with you, everyone is thinking we're getting back together. It's all going too fast for me. Do you know that no one knows why we got divorced in the first place? I look back on your life for the last three years. Where's the hurt? The pain that I felt when I discovered your cheating. There wasn't any. Sure your financial situation hurt some but that was about it."

She looked at me a little concerned.

I continued, "Our night together was the best ever. You did things to me that we have never done. I remembered you always thought it was too dirty, but there you were doing it. I had to wonder where you even learned it."

"Jerry, I can explain it," she said.

'Here's what I need you to explain; you told me you hadn't been with anyone for two and a half years. Why did you lie to me? You had your girls' night out every month. It seems that the women you were with from work and your card club were also swap club members. So I guess you've been getting your fucks in after all."

She started in on her crying again.

"You fucking other men caused our divorce and you never stopped doing it. Go ahead; explain it. Go home and tell your kids why I left in the first place. Tell them your pussy has an itch that I'm not good enough to scratch. They deserve to know and are old enough to handle it. I've talked to them."

"God, Jerry, surely you didn't tell them about me, did you?" she asked.

"It's always about you, isn't it, Beth. Never about your kids or me. I told them you had an affair and cheated on me."

"Jerry, I'm so sorry. You left me; what could I do? I'm a woman and need to be loved."

"You don't want love. What I did the other night was love. What you want is unlimited orgasms with unlimited fuck partners. Did you think I would never find out? How fucking stupid do you think I am? I had wondered what if we got married and then I caught you cheating again? Then it hit me; your lover Jeff was behind this setup."

"Jeff? How did you find out about Jeff? Oh, my God, what have I done?"

"What have you done? You ruined a lot of lives including your own. You gave up a man who truly loved you and was almost ready to go back to you. You have lost the respect of your kids, even though they will still live with you. You've hurt them all deeply. You lie, you cheat and now you want to steal from me also. The love I had for you is still there but buried deep in my heart. All I see now is a conniving slut who will fuck anything that walks. A couple of years from now I want you to think about what could have been. Your looks will fade and your kids will be gone and so will the money. I guess you will still have a bunch of old fuck friends and, of course, Jeff. I doubt if he'll stay around with a poor slut."

She was crying hard now. "Jerry, I really do love you. Please stay with me; I'll go to therapy or whatever you want."

I turned to her and said, "I forgot to tell you; I'm moving out of state and leaving next week. Thanks for the goodbye fuck. You really are good in bed, but of course you know that as well as God knows how many men. Goodbye, Beth. Have a nice life."

I knew Jeff was behind this set up. If I would have gotten remarried, then that meant I would have accepted her lifestyle and our old marriage agreement would be void. She and Jeff were playing me for the last year because of the money. She was already down a hundred a month and deep in debt again, but was living the same as she always did. It must mean she had run up a hell of a debt. Such a stupid woman!

Epilog:

I finally moved on with my life. I hurt for a while but I was putting it all behind me. Did I love Beth? Of course I did; but her wrongdoing was just too much. It's been a few years now and I met someone. She was a few years younger than me, beautiful, articulate, and funny. She told me she was divorced. She had two kids that were barely teenagers. 

When I asked her what caused her divorce, she said, "A cheating husband. He wanted the so-called good life, you know, the 'include other people' style. It wasn't for me; I'm a one guy kind of woman. I also have to think what's best for my kids. I told him to go find a woman who thinks like that, but it wasn't me."

We dated for about a year and I asked her to marry me.

She looked up at me and asked what the marriage vows meant to me. To love, honor and obey, till death do us do part; richer or poorer, sickness and in health, to make love only to her and none other. 

"I can do all that except the obey part," I laughed.

She knew my story and about my alphabet kids and had to laugh. You see, her son was named Erin and her daughter was Faith.

We were married and all my kids attended the wedding. At first they were reluctant to attend. I had them come up before the wedding and they met my future wife face to face. They saw the kind gentle person that I saw. Of course Amy and Brad were both married already, and Carla was dating. Daryl and Carla were both still in college. They knew I needed someone in my life. Mom and Dad drove up for the wedding also. They fell in love with my bride to be also. They knew my life was back on track.

My wife looked beautiful, petite and sexy as hell. Why any man would want to share her was beyond me. We went on a short honeymoon and stopped by Mom and Dad's on the way back. I showed my new wife the town I was from and the house I used to live in. Beth had to sell it because of her debts. I did get thirty thousand out of it, thanks to Sally, my lawyer.

We headed back home and began our new life. It was a simple life but we were happy with it. We did enjoy it to the fullest and our love-making was terrific. We had only one problem but we were able to solve it. You see my new wife's name was Betheny. I remember her looking at me and telling me we had to do something about that. She didn't want me to call her Beth. So we decided on Honey. She told me she didn't care what everyone else called her but she didn't want to hear anything but the word honey from my lips. I remember asking if I could call her sweetheart once in a while. 

She smiled and said, "That would be okay too. When we make love, you can call me anything you want but Beth," she laughed.

I don't know what Beth is doing anymore. I did remove her from my life. The kids see her and say she lives in an apartment alone. They said she seems to be doing okay. As far as dating goes, they think she does, but doesn't really talk about it. They said she cried when she heard I was getting married. Of course they love their mom and do watch after her. 

"She'll be alright," they said. 

I just hope she gave up some of the wild life. I guess I'll never know.

I remember the last thing she said to me. "Jerry, I really do love you and want you to know that I will wait for you. I know you'll come back to me. I'll be here for as long as it takes."

My answer to her was "Forever is a long time to wait."

*

Thank you for reading my story

Comments always welcome

DG Hear