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After The Fact

By: S-Des



"Who am I?" It's a question that's important because you are interested in my story. But I'm not what makes the story interesting. The truth is, I'm nobody. I'm not rich, not great looking, there's no talent that makes me extraordinary and I don't sweep women off their feet. I'm just an average guy with an average life. 

The only thing that makes me special is my daughter. To say she's the light of my life would be an understatement. Her smile lights up the room. Her enthusiasm is beyond contagious. The way she sees the world makes me understand how important it is to live my life the right way. She can bring this 35 year-old man to tears just by saying "I love you, daddy."

So why am I sitting in a bar alone on a Friday night when I should be with her? That's the real reason you should be interested in the story.

*****

I've heard people say that life changes in an instant. We live on such a narrow edge, that the slightest breath can cause us to spiral uncontrollably.

I was 27 and living an ordinary life when I met Katie. She was a few years older than me and had been a little more adventurous in her life. She was an attractive blonde with a quirky personality. I think the thing that I appreciated the most was her sense of humor. It was fun-loving with just a touch of cynicism. We quickly became friends. 

We stayed close for a few months, watching each other go through one bad relationship after another. Finally it seemed like a good idea to take a look at each other. It only took three dates for us to take things to the next level. 

We went to my place after dinner, then straight to my room. Neither of us spoke, we just knew it was what we both wanted. I found out quickly she liked to be in charge and was quite aggressive. 

She kissed me lustfully, her tongue searching for mine. I was surprised when she moved her lips to my neck and began lightly biting up and down the side. Her hand unbuckled my belt and reach into my pants. Without any preamble, she began jerking me off while moving her mouth to my chest. When my shirt prevented her from going lower, she dropped to her knees and took me in her mouth.

I groaned with pleasure. She took several inches of my very hard prick into her mouth and used her hand to cover the rest. I could feel her tongue swirling side to side across the underside of my shaft while she moved her mouth up and down. It had been a while since I had been intimate with someone, so it couldn't have been more than a few minutes before I could feel myself reach the point of no return. 

I warned her, "Katie, I'm cumming." 

She pulled back and stroked me quickly while using her other hand to catch my sperm. I guess you could say that it was a metaphor for our entire relationship. Big build up, not such a great finish. The eventual sex between us was good, but not great. When we finished I could sense that even though we both enjoyed ourselves, there was something missing. We were friends and probably shouldn't have crossed that line.

We kept dating for a little over a month, when we both came to the conclusion that we just weren't compatible. It wasn't a horrible breakup, just a parting of the ways. Two weeks later she called to ask if I'd stop by. When I got to the door, she greeted me nervously.

"Could you please sit down, John, we need to talk."

I thought that she wanted to give it another shot. Since I was still fond of her, I was prepared to say yes, if we could just take it slower this time. Instead she said the words that shook me to my core.

"I'm pregnant."

And life spirals...

"But...But you said that you couldn't get pregnant!" I said, stunned. We hadn't bothered with birth control because neither of us was promiscuous and she had a medical condition that prevented pregnancy. Her doctor had said she wouldn't be able to conceive even if she underwent treatment.

"I know what my doctor said, but I'm pregnant. There hasn't been anyone else; it's yours. What are we going to do?"

My head spun. The thought that maybe she would have an abortion so I could get off the hook flashed unbidden through my mind. I was immediately ashamed. I have always wanted children and there was no way I could ask for something like that. Luckily, she couldn't either.

We talked about what to do for weeks. Finally we agreed to do our best to make things work between us. We went through months of couples counseling and I moved in to help support and take care of her. 

Danielle was born shortly thereafter and I couldn't have been happier. She was perfect. Because the doctors did a C-Section delivery, she was born looking the way she would for her entire childhood. Her pictures from 3 months to 7 years looked just like the same person, only bigger. 

The first 6 months were the happiest of my life. I had never been around babies, so didn't know what to expect. They depend on you for everything; food, protection, comfort and affection. She would look at me like I was her entire world. Love isn't something you talk about or plan, it is just a given. The bond we forged was far stronger than anything I could have imagined. 

Unfortunately, her mother and I weren't so lucky. It turned out our original decision to break up had been the correct one. There was no hope for us. Too different, too stubborn and painfully unhappy with each other. After helping her raise Danielle for 6 months, she asked me to move out and part of me was relieved. I was crushed to be leaving my baby girl, to have no more nights tucking her in or stopping by to kiss her head in the middle of the night, but she was right; it was time to go. Things were strained, but we managed to get along well enough, until we had to go to court. Once the lawyers got involved, we went from not getting along, to us actively hating each other. It didn't happen overnight, but it took a depressingly short period of time. I don't know if it was the stress of not having control over our own fate, or if it was just having to talk through third parties, but neither of us came out ahead. We argued, threatened each other and were consumed with each of us wondering what the other would do next to be spiteful. 

Sometimes I felt like I was losing my mind. I disagreed with most of the things she did, from daycare to her dating life. We even used our daughter as a weapon against each other. To this day the pain of that is as clear in my mind as any other memory. 

I made it through three years of living week to week, just waiting for my time with Dani. We did everything she could want. I tried not to spoil her, but I wanted to experience everything through her eyes. Truth be told, I also was a little afraid of her not having the same kind of memories with me that she did with her mother. One of the biggest downsides of being a single father is the jealousy you feel toward the other parent.

Just after she turned four, I met Jenny. It was pure dumb luck. I had a small company that coordinated private parties. We provided the event planning, entertainment and catering. It wasn't making me rich, but it was a fun job and I enjoyed it. I was hosting a company dinner party for a friend named Kathy. During the party she introduced me to her daughter Jenny who had just flown in from New York to visit. 

Jenny was twenty-five years old and had been a professional dancer for almost a decade. Unfortunately she told me she had to give it up because of a string of injuries that left her with a number of knee surgeries, making any career in dancing impossible. She came to spend time with her mom while she figured out what to do with her life. 

I found out we had a great deal in common. Talking with her was like hanging out with someone I'd known for years. However, while I found her very attractive, I also believed in the axiom that you don't mess around with clients' daughters, so was content to make small talk. Usually I was nervous around women I was that attracted to, but I guess my feelings that nothing could happen allowed me to relax and be myself. We talked for over an hour and I was enchanted. At the end of the night I felt a pang of regret when I had to go home by myself. 

Two days later my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, so hoped it might be a potential client. "Hello," I said pleasantly.

"Hi, it's Jenny. I was wondering if you were busy tonight. I don't know anyone here, but I wanted to see the city. Would you be interested in showing me around?"

I tried to sound nonchalant, but probably failed miserably. My stomach was doing cartwheels. "Sure, I'd love to. What do you want to do?"

"Surprise me."

"That's a dangerous dare for someone in my line of business," I said with a chuckle. 

The moment I hung up the phone, the wheels started turning. Working in the entertainment business, I'd made great contacts all over the city. I made several calls and came up with what I thought would be the perfect date. 

When I showed up at her mom's place to pick her up, I was floored. She was beautiful at the party, but I underestimated just how beautiful. When she was made up to go out on the town, she was an angel. Long curly black hair, brown eyes, beautiful lips that curled at the ends into just the hint of a smirk and freckles. I'm not saying she should have been a model; it was more like the girl next door kind of attractiveness. She was definitely the most beautiful woman I'd ever been out with.

We went to the art museum, then to the ballet. It must have been amusing for her. I don't know anything about art and even less about the ballet so she spent the bulk of the date explaining things to me. I wasn't sure if I was endearing or annoying, but she seemed to enjoy educating me about culture. 

The ballet was particularly great. She intently watched everything, her eyes sparkling. I thought about how much she must have wished she was in the company. I watched her face as the show went on. At times she looked quite emotional, making me wonder how it would feel to be great at what you do, only to be forced to give it up. I had an overwhelming desire to put my arm around her. Not in a calculating way, but just to comfort her. Instead I settled for holding her hand. 

After the show we went out to dinner. It was the kind of restaurant that I normally couldn't have afforded. Thankfully, bartering had become part of my life, and I found I was quite talented at it. All it took was a promise to do a favor for the manager, and voila...it was suddenly very affordable. Over the course of the dinner I found that she was even better company than I had first thought. 

She was smart, had a razor sharp wit and wicked sense of humor. Our conversation went from politics to our favorite game shows seamlessly. When I talked to her about my daughter, she eagerly listened and asked a number of questions. It really had an impact on me because most people just nod and patiently try to humor you despite their lack of real interest.

We finished the date by making out in the front seat of my car like teenagers. She had the softest lips I've ever kissed. I tried to keep control of the situation, not wanting her to think it was just physical for me. When we finally said goodnight, I drove home wondering what I could possibly do to top it.

Turns out I didn't have to be worried. Jenny was just as comfortable going out for pizza and catching a band as she was hobnobbing with the rich and famous. I was relieved because that wasn't the kind of lifestyle that interested me. I'm a hamburger kind of guy. Steak and lobster is cool once in a while, but trying to pretend you are something you're not is a bad way to start a relationship. 

A couple weeks and a half-dozen dates later, we went out for dinner and dancing. I had been dreading it since the first date. I was definitely no Fred Astaire and was afraid she was going to take one look at me on the dance floor and change her mind about me. 

It quickly became a non-issue. She was so graceful that I actually didn't feel like a complete fool. We wheeled around the dance floor like we'd been doing it for years. Every man in the bar must have been envious of me. She looked amazing and the way she moved was breathtaking. 

I've always loved talented women. Musicians, artists and especially dancers have always affected me differently than most women. There is an elegance to their movements that goes far beyond sensuality. As the night wore on I took almost as much pleasure in watching Jenny dance as I did by dancing with her. I felt an uncomfortable feeling in my gut and realized I was falling for her faster than I thought was possible.

Afterward we went to my place. She sat down on the living room couch and I put on some music. I touched her face with my hand, tilting it slightly so I could kiss her. She closed her eyes and let me take control. As our lips met, her mouth opened and I could feel her tongue softly enter my mouth. After a few seconds, I dropped my lips to her neck and began nibbling up and down the side. I moved to the front and let my tongue slowly trace from the top of her chest up to her chin, then back to those wonderful lips. 

I was going slowly, wanting to be patient and let things build. I moved my hands to her blouse and began unbuttoning it starting from the top. When I reached the bottom, I stopped kissing her to watch as I slid it off her shoulders. 

She had small breasts like most dancers. I unclasped the bra in front and moved it away. I loved her breasts. There is no hint of sagging, she has the most perfect pink nipples that were erect and her areolas are about the size of a silver dollar. They look a little large because of the size of the breasts, but I found them to be very sexy. 

I guess I was a little too intent on the view because she startled me by saying, "They don't bite, but you can." I looked back at her face to see her grinning; her dimples making her look even more precious. 

I lowered my face and took a nipple into my mouth. As I nibbled lightly, she moaned and I felt the urge to be more aggressive. I pulled her tightly to me, increasing my aggression with her breasts. After a short time I stopped and suggested we move upstairs. To my delight she eagerly agreed.

Once in my bedroom, I had her stand at the foot of the bed while I unbuttoned her jeans. I pulled them down her legs, dragging her red panties with them. I got a surprise when I noticed that as they moved down her hips, no pubic hair appeared. When her pussy finally came into view I couldn't help grinning at the sight.

"Do you like it," she couldn't help but notice my smile.

"All the better to eat you, my dear," I joked.

"Promises, promises."

My hands were shaking as I pushed her to a sitting position on the bed. I already felt so strongly about her; I wanted this to be great. I pushed her legs apart and tentatively kissed my way up her thigh. 

She put her hands on the back of my head; letting me know I was on the right track. I finally let myself make contact with her labia. I began licking around her lips, trying to find the spots that I'd need to remember later. When I felt like she was ready, I urged her down until she was lying on the bed with her legs off of the end. I put one leg on my shoulder and attacked her clit enthusiastically. I could feel her juices already flowing. 

The movement of her hips against my face signaled her arousal, so without removing my mouth I took a finger and slid it back and forth across her lips. After making sure she was wet enough, I sank it all the way into her with one, smooth motion. She moaned louder and lifted her hips off of the bed, encouraging me to penetrate her faster, this time while sucking on her clit. I could feel her legs quiver and felt pride in my ability to drive this beautiful woman so wild. I added a second finger and softly turned my hand as they pushed into her. The noises she made changed to short, uncontrolled bursts and I suspected she was close. 

After a few more seconds she cried, "Yes John, yes!" and pulled my face hard against her while thrusting her hips wildly. I removed my fingers and stuck my tongue as far as I could into her opening of her pussy, savoring the way she shook as I touched different spots inside of her. 

When she finished cumming, I moved up her body, dragging my tongue softly all the way. When I reached her face, she didn't hesitate to kiss me deeply. I began moving my cock up and down her now drenched pussy, searching for the entrance.

She tried to stop me, "Isn't it your turn now?" She was smiling, which gave me the feeling she was very proud of her oral skills. I couldn't wait to find out later, but right now I just wanted to be inside her. 

I caressed her cheek, "Trust me Jen, this is what I want." 

I lodged the head inside her, but she put out her hands to stop me from entering further. When I gave her a questioning look, she wrapped her legs behind me and slowly pulled me inside of her. It was the single most erotic feeling I've ever had. She was tight, warm and unbelievably wet. I suddenly wished I would have let her go down on me. I hadn't had sex in a long time and didn't want to disappoint her.

I moved slowly, getting used to how she felt and how she responded. As I felt more comfortable, I began kissing her and rotating my hips trying to touch every inch of her. She rocked her hips up to meet my thrusts, making me feel like she was fucking me, even though I was on top. I returned my mouth to her breasts, trying to find a way to return the sensations I was feeling. 

I reached behind one of her legs and brought it up high, allowing me to penetrate slightly deeper. Although I know I'm not hung in a way that women tell their friends about, I was just right for Jenny. I heard her moan when I finally got all the way inside of her. Her pussy gripped me snugly, accentuated by the contractions her muscles made. Again I reflected on how perfect everything seemed to be between us. My random thought almost betrayed me as I felt myself reach the edge of an orgasm. 

I stopped moving and put my head down between her breasts. "Jenny, we need to change positions or this is going to be over way too quickly," hoping she'd understand. 

She didn't say a word, but slid out from under me. I got onto my back in the middle of the bed as she kneeled beside me. She gave me a couple seconds to gain control again as she lazily dragged her tongue over my stomach, then down my leg. When she made the return trip up, she took my cock into her mouth for just a second, nibbling on the head. She looked up at me and flashed me a nasty smile that made me realize the adventures were just starting. I had no doubt that she was going to challenge me constantly. 

She straightened up and swung one leg over to straddle me, taking me by the shaft and rubbing it slowly back and forth across her opening. I grabbed the sheets with both hands and squeezed as the sensation made me want to thrust hard into her. She took her time, teasing me as she slowly lowered herself. She let the head and about a couple of inches slide inside of her then smiled as she raised herself up and almost off, then slid down just a bit further. 

I took the opportunity to admire the rest of her body. She had slim hips with an even slimmer waist. Her shape was more that of a college cheerleader than an adult woman, but it was beautiful. Her heritage blessed her with naturally darker skin, so there were no tan lines, just a smooth, light brown that covered her whole body. I thought she was an incredibly beautiful woman. I couldn't imagine how she could possibly be sexier.

She let go of me with her hand and leaned forward across my body. As she licked and bit at my chest, she continued moving her hips, pushing me inside her. She would go halfway down my shaft and then, on the next thrust, would only go an inch. After several minutes of this maddening teasing, I grabbed her hips and tried to push myself deeper. 


After the Fact



This story stands on its own, but for a better enjoyment I recommend you read my other story 'Alone and Desolate' as this story is a direct continuation of 'AAD'.

If you're looking for stroke material please, promptly back-click as there is not a single shred of sex in this story.

I want to thank my editors for the invaluable help they've given me while I was sweating over this story.

*

When I arrived home earlier, I had the feeling something wasn't entirely kosher. The house felt empty; Joanna wasn't home. I was surprised to see her computer still on, showing its screensavers. Also puzzling was the phone book left on her desk. Furthermore, when I got in the bedroom to unpack my suitcases there were damp towels on the bed. Those things were really disturbing; normally Joanna is the picture of tidiness, but then I saw an envelope on my pillow. I should have known something was wrong when she didn't answer the phone last night. 

How could I have, though? Sure, I had noticed that for the past couple of years, Joanna had grown sad and felt abandoned but what could I do? From the moment we met, Joanna and I, we knew that our life wouldn't be like everybody else's. We were willing to make the sacrifices necessary to ensure an early retirement for both of us and if that meant being separated for weeks, months at a time that's what we would do. Granted, the past year has been tougher with me being away more than I'd ever been and sometimes it felt like I was only coming home to change clothes, but I thought Joanna understood better.

That envelope looked sinister on my pillow. An ominous aura emanated from it; I didn't know what it was but I was sure it wasn't good news. When I opened it, a single sheet of paper came out and I sat down to read it.





After The Fact Ch. 02



Author's Note: This is a 3-part story about a husband discovering his wife's infidelity and trying to deal with the consequences to himself and his daughter. Although the first chapter can stand by itself if you liked the way it ends, this is just a continuation and won't be as effective without reading Chapter 1. 

In Chapter 1, John found out that Jenny had cheated on him while she was out of town with her friend Megan six months earlier. He was so furious that he through her out immediately. His anger caused him to act so maliciously that he hurt his daughter in the process. Now he discovers the fallout has only begun.

I want to thank my volunteer editor Angel Love for encouraging me, cleaning up my mistakes and especially for helping me to learn how you're actually supposed to use punctuation (my high school English teacher would be shocked). Also many thanks to Josephus who challenged me every step of the way so I had to go over the story about a hundred times until I had it just the way I wanted. All new writers should be lucky enough to have a good author force you to honestly look at your work. 

"Hey John...Holy shit! What happened to you?" 

I had stopped by my best friend's house the next day. Luckily Steve and Sharon were both home. I was so out of it, I hadn't even thought about the possibility that they would be gone. I just piled Danielle into the car and drove over. Steve evidently noticed my condition.

I gave him a warning look and glanced down at Dani. Although I could see his puzzled expression, he caught my meaning. He kneeled down in front of her and put his arms out.

"How are you, young lady?"

She dove into his arms crying. "Jenny went away."

Steve looked up at me shocked. He started to say something, but I stopped him by quickly shaking my head no. 

When she calmed down a little, he suggested she run upstairs to see Tyler. He was Steve's son and was just younger than Danielle. They had been best friends since her mom's death.

When she was out of sight, I tried to speak, but this time he shook me off. He turned and walked from the room. A few seconds later he walked back with Sharon, who looked very concerned. We sat down across from each other and she spoke first.

"John, you look terrible. What's going on?"

I took a deep breath. "Jenny's gone. I told her to leave last night."

"WHAT?" Came the startled response from both of them.

I thought I had decided how to explain this, but couldn't seem to remember a word of what I'd rehearsed. 

"She cheated on me. I found out about it last night." I put my head in my hands trying to get my emotions under control. It was definitely a losing battle.

Sharon recovered enough to ask, "Are you sure? I just can't believe that. I know she loves you and Dani more than anything."

I thought about telling them everything, but decided it would be too painful. It would also be very uncomfortable for them because they had been friends with Jenny since we began dating. No matter how pissed off I was, I wasn't expecting them to hate her also. I settled for being vague.

"I don't want to talk about specifics, but yes I'm sure. There were pictures, plus she admitted it. I don't know if it was an affair or not, just that it happened about six months ago. There probably have been other instances. I can't imagine she would do something that bad on a whim. It seems more likely that it has been going on for a while."

Their phone rang, interrupting any further conversation. Sharon grabbed it and started talking. Steve asked me a few quiet questions, but didn't seem to want to discuss anything important without Sharon there also. She had taken the phone into the kitchen so I couldn't make out what she was saying.

She walked back into the room carrying her coat. "That was Nicole. She said Jenny is a wreck and she needs my help. John, would it be OK with you if I went? Nicole was really upset and I think I should try to help if I can."

I couldn't see what her staying would accomplish so I just shrugged. 

She looked at me intently, "I love both of you and I'd like to help if I can. Is there anything you want me to say about you or Danielle?"

I looked at her with determination. "I can't control what you and Steve do or say to her, that's not my business. I want to be clear though, she's not welcome in our lives. Anything I say to you two, I expect to be between us. If you feel like that's putting you in a position you are uncomfortable with, you need to let me know."

They both looked at me surprised. I don't think they understood the depth of her deception or my resolve. It was tough not to be totally honest with them, but I was certain they would rather not know. Sharon kissed Steve and left. We didn't talk about anything important for the next few hours. Since the kids were entertaining themselves, we watched a basketball game. It seemed trivial, but I guess anything would at that point. 

About 7:00 Sharon came back. She didn't waste any time letting me know I was in trouble. "John, please tell me it isn't true."

Steve looked surprised. "Honey, what's wrong?"

Sharon didn't take her eyes off of me. "John?"

"What should I have done Sharon? Apologized for not being enough of a man to keep her happy?" I said sarcastically...I knew the second I said it that it was a big mistake.

"That's enough John." Steve said angrily. "You need to calm down." Turning to Sharon, he asked "Honey, what's going on?"

"It was terrible, Jenny was hysterical. She said John didn't just throw her out. He told her that he wouldn't talk to her anymore and would get a restraining order so she couldn't come near Danielle. Then he told her she had five minutes to pack and get out or he'd email the pictures to her family and work." She turned back to me, "She said you sat there counting out loud, even when she had to say goodbye to Dani. John, I'll believe you if you say you didn't do that, you've never lied to me. Is this some kind of misunderstanding?" She stopped and looked hopefully at me.

Steve was quiet while I tried to defend myself. "I didn't want her in my house anymore. She's dangerous and shouldn't be around my daughter. I don't know what I should have done differently."

Sharon seemed undecided. Evidently Jenny hadn't told her everything. "I'm not sure what's going on, but you didn't see her, she is devastated. We had to get her doctor to write a prescription for something so she could get some rest. John, she loves you and is very sorry about what she did. I understand you being angry, but why did you have to be so cruel? We've known each other for years, this isn't you."

I was suddenly feeling more tired than angry. "Look, I don't know what's right anymore. Sharon, I'm sorry I snapped at you before, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm tired, we should go. I really appreciate you guys putting up with me all day, I know it helped Dani to be here." I called Danielle and we left. 

As I reached the door, Sharon stopped me and held me tightly. She whispered in my ear, "I don't know what to think about what you did, but I hope you change your mind." She looked down at Danielle. "For all of your sakes."

I left feeling stupid. I should have known Sharon wouldn't like my reaction to Jenny, but I wasn't exactly thinking straight. I wondered if telling her everything would have made a difference.

I spent the next few days with Danielle, just trying to get our feet underneath us. I couldn't eat or sleep. The only thing keeping me together was knowing that I had to be there for her. She was so devastated I couldn't imagine how it would get better. 

I had a couple of tense calls with Jenny's family, but they were surprisingly neutral. No one liked what I had done, but they also didn't want to take her side. A week later Steve stopped by to see how I was and left me the number for a counselor he recommended highly. I told him I wasn't interested, but he told me he'd "Beat me like a drum," if I didn't at least call. 

I knew he was just trying to help so I promised to think about it. The more I toyed with the idea, the more sense it made. I wasn't any good to my daughter in my current frame of mind, so I decided to try it, at least once. I was able to get an appointment for Thursday, so dropped off Dani at Steve's house and headed out. 

I followed Steve's directions to an out of the way office park. It was a group of small offices that contained very different types of businesses. I checked the address a second time and couldn't believe what I was seeing. Steve had tricked me. The name on the office belonged to a Church. 

I decided to follow through with it because things really couldn't get much worse. As I walked through the door, it was easy to see this was a very low-profit organization. It looked like what you might do to your garage if you had twenty minutes of free time. A man in his early 30's walked in the room and smiled as he offered me his hand.

"You must be John, I'm Bryan. Steve told me a lot about you, I hope I can be of some help."

I studied him closely trying to see if he'd give anything away. I wasn't anti-religious, but I wasn't looking to get converted either. I had gone to Church when I was younger, but stopped after college. I couldn't even remember why anymore. I knew Steve and Sharon went to Church all the time, but they hadn't done more than occasionally ask if Dani or I would like to go. If Bryan was a man Steve would recommend so highly, I guess it wouldn't hurt to hear him out. 

He invited me back to his office and we talked. He started out as a licensed counselor, but walked away from it because he felt too many colleagues catered to people's narcissism. Bryan had used his religious background to change the way he viewed counseling. He took a job with the non-denominational church as a youth minister because it would allow him to work with kids, plus have time to use his skills to try and help people in need. 

Now he considered himself an 'advisor' who had a good foundation for his opinions. I knew he was somebody I wanted to talk to further when he told me, "A lot of people just needed a good kick in the ass to get their lives together."

That didn't sound like the typical psychobabble I was afraid of and it also didn't sound like some kind of recruitment speech. He was honest, blunt and entirely charismatic. I thought this might be turning out to be a good idea after all.

After we talked about what he thought I could get from meeting with him, he asked about my thoughts. I didn't really have any idea, but I promised to keep an open mind. I just wanted to be able to deal with what Jenny had done so I could keep my sanity and not make things any worse for Danielle. 

He listened intently to everything I told him. When I tried talking about what I had seen of the party, he politely stopped me. He wanted to know about me before I met her, about our dating life and my opinion of our married life. I even told him some of the details of our sex life (the more mild ones) and he didn't seem shocked or even surprised. I found that after over an hour of talking about all the good things, I felt a lot better. 

Bryan informed me that he had to head over to the Church to do some work, but he'd like to see me again if I wouldn't mind. He reminded me that this wasn't true therapy and I shouldn't consider his advice as anything more than what I would get from talking to a priest or rabbi. He encouraged me to seek professional therapy if I desired it. I let him know I wasn't interested right now (and as a single father who just lost half the family income, I couldn't afford it either). 

Bryan assured me that his sessions would be at no charge, but unlike seeing a professional, he would have conditions I'd have to agree to if I wished to continue. He told me we could worry about it later when I knew better what I wanted to do. I went home feeling almost like myself. Unfortunately it didn't take long for things to return to normal.

I went home to grab something for Steve I forgot to bring with me when I dropped off Dani. When I pulled up to the house I saw Jenny's sister Nicole waiting for me on the porch. I really didn't want to talk to her right now. Not only was I afraid of ruining the first taste of a good mood I'd had since I threw Jenny out, I honestly liked Nicole. I wasn't looking forward to a confrontation with someone who had never treated me with anything but kindness. 

"We need to talk." It was simple, straight to the point and I knew she wasn't going anywhere until I listened, so I invited her in.

"Jenny is miserable. She hasn't been herself since she walked through the door. She cries all the time, she doesn't eat and I'm worried about what she's thinking. She took two weeks of family leave from work, but I don't believe she's planning on going back. She told me what you found out and I understand your anger," she paused before continuing, "But this punishment of yours is too much."

"Taking Danielle away is cruel, why would do something like that? You should at least give her the chance to explain what happened. Even if you still want to divorce her, please let her tell you her side of the story. Do it for her, for Danielle, for yourself or for whatever the hell makes you happy, but I'm begging you to talk to her." 

I thought about it long and hard. Part of me wanted to try to understand, but part of me was afraid to know more than I already did. I knew she had done something the night before and the night after the video. I didn't know if I could take the truth. 

"I just can't right now. I'm sorry but I'm still so angry that if I see her it could turn into Friday night all over again. I know what I did was harsh, probably too harsh, but it's done. I don't trust her around my daughter and I have no desire to be in the same room with her. I know you're in a tough spot, being in the middle of this, but my answer is no."

Nicole looked at me sadly. For just a second it almost seemed like she was looking at me with pity, rather than sadness for her sister. That didn't make any sense so I dismissed it as just my imagination. She left with a quick hug, which caught me off guard. I had prepared myself for yelling and swearing. Nothing had made sense since I saw the video and this just added to the weirdness.

I struggled through the next two weeks without any significant surprises. I had a decent talk with Jenny's mom and assured her she could see Danielle any time she wanted. My only condition was that Jenny wasn't allowed to see her. I reminded her that Danielle wouldn't lie to me, so I'd find out if they went behind my back. I sincerely hoped it wouldn't come to that; too much had already been taken from my daughter. 

I continued with my weekly meetings with Bryan. My fourth meeting became a turning point for everything. Our first meeting had been very constructive for me. I left feeling better about things, but there was no way to sustain it. Our subsequent meetings were much like the first. I walked in expecting to have a similar talk. 

Bryan didn't waste any time. "John, do you remember our first conversation?"

I wasn't sure which part in particular he was referring to, so I just said yes. 

"I've let you talk for three weeks uninterrupted. It's confirmed my initial observation that you are indeed a good man and a good father. The problem is that you're not seeing the truth." He paused to let the statement sink in.

"This is going to be a time when you need to remember that I'm a preacher and I'm not always going to talk to you the way a professional counselor would." When I indicated that I understood, he continued. "A terrible thing happened to you and your family. Now you have to make a real decision about what comes next in your life. Are you going to be a victim and wander aimlessly, or are you going to step up and be a man."

WOW! I didn't see that coming. "What exactly are you suggesting, Bryan?"

"First, you need to know why this thing happened to you. Next, you need to decide what to do about it. Third," he paused again, looking at me firmly, "You need to ask your wife to forgive you." 

If it wasn't for the shock that statement caused me, I probably would have stormed out. Instead I looked at him stupidly, wondering if this was some kind of joke. 

"I'm not kidding, John. If you are going to recover from this, you need to realize how wrong you were and what it's cost you."

"Cost me? My wife's behavior cost me my marriage. My daughter's a wreck. Her family can barely tolerate talking to me and my best friends treat me like I have the plague. How can you talk to me about cost?" 

"See, now that's the victim I was talking about. Your choices caused all the things you just described. You made your decisions and are living with the consequences. I sit here listening to you talk about how great your life was, then one event causes a complete collapse of everything."

My anger began to build, "So what are you suggesting, I'm wrong for being upset that she cheated on me? Not an affair, not a one night stand, but a complete betrayal of everything we had. A whole weekend of being a slut, doing it in public and doing it with who knows how many men and women."

Bryan gave me a withering look but he didn't change his tone as he continued. "I never suggested you shouldn't be upset and I never suggested you shouldn't divorce her. You are well within your rights to do both. I said you needed to find out about the reasons for her betrayal and you need to ask for forgiveness." His looked changed to something resembling the way I look at Danielle when she's not behaving.

"People have such a wrong-headed view of forgiveness. It's not the act of alleviating someone's wrongdoing; it's allowing the burden to be taken from you. Right now you are acting as judge, jury and executioner. You are doing it to a person who you still love and the guilt is ruining your life." When he was sure I was actually listening and trying to make sense out of what he was saying, he continued.

"There is a true story of a mother whose son was murdered. She lived in grief for several years until she went to see the man convicted of killing him. After meeting him in jail, she forgave him. The simple act of giving up her hatred allowed her to go on with her life. It didn't make her like him or understand what he had done. It didn't change his punishment or the way society treated him. She just needed to get rid of the pain to do something constructive with her life." 

"Think about all the good things you've told me about your wife. How much you loved her and what a positive impact she has had on your life. You tell me if I'm wrong, has this punishment made your life or Danielle's any better?" When he saw I wasn't going to defend myself, he continued. 

"Without having to get all Biblical on you, any mental health professional will tell you that holding on to your anger is a negative. This vendetta you're on can only keep you mired in the misery you've been feeling. I like you and want to see you get better. I don't believe that's going to happen unless you confront your fears. I don't want to sit hear and see you in pain when you have the power to improve things, maybe even get past it."

"I'd like you to think about everything before we talk about another session. I don't know if it would help for us to meet again until you take steps to get control of your life. I would also like to suggest you think about the idea of inviting Jenny to a session. I think you might find it very helpful in finding a way to work through your pain." 

I sat there trying to absorb everything he said. I had thoroughly enjoyed our sessions and believed what he said about encouraging me to do what he felt would help me get better. I just couldn't get my head around everything. 




After The Fact Ch. 02



I left feeling very different from the previous sessions. Surprisingly I wasn't that upset by Bryan's statements. I just wasn't sure if I was ready to talk to her or how to go about it. I hadn't spoken to Jenny since I threw her out. If I took him at his word that it would help me, how was I going to get past what she had done and actually ask her to forgive me? I couldn't even imagine doing a session with her. That would be like saying there was a way we could fix things and that was out of the question." 

I called Steve to ask if they could watch Dani overnight, then I took a really long drive. There were too many memories at home and I needed to think. I stopped after a couple of hours and rented a hotel room. I spent most of the night walking the grounds or pacing in my room. I finally made my decision in time to get about two hours of sleep.

Just before I picked up Dani, I called Nicole. I got a very icy "Hello." It got much warmer when I asked if we could come over to see Jenny. She told me they'd be home all day. I said she could tell Jenny or keep it a surprise, whatever she thought would be best. On the way I told Danielle that we were going to see her step-mom. 

I thought about the things I had been told about her not eating and crying all the time and was afraid of the effect it might have on Danielle, especially after losing her mother to cancer. I decided to tell Danielle something to lessen the impact of seeing Jenny so depressed. I told her Jenny had been very sad since I asked her to leave and that Dani needed to take care of her for the day. That's all you have to say to a seven year-old, she couldn't wait. She solemnly promised to take good care of Jenny and I knew she would be too busy with her 'responsibilities' to be upset. I was so proud of her. 

When we arrived, Nicole met me at the door with a hug. "Thank you so much for this. I've been so worried about her. I just didn't know what else I could do."

I warned her, "You know this doesn't change anything between us. I just think it's the right thing to do." I didn't want to mention Bryan or his offer.

"It's a start. You need to prepare yourself." She didn't elaborate. "Jenny, we have visitors."

I heard a gasp from the other side of the room, quickly followed by Danielle screaming "Jenny!" She ran to her step-mom and threw herself into her, almost knocking Jenny over. 

I felt my knees wobble as I took in the changes in my wife. She was painfully thin, looking like she couldn't be more than 90 pounds. Her face was pale and gaunt, making her look half dead. There were dark circles under her eyes indicating she hadn't slept well in days, maybe weeks. Her hair was unwashed, she was wearing wrinkled sweats and there was a listless shuffle to her gait. I couldn't have imagined a more horrifying vision of the only woman I had ever loved. 

I watched as the two of them hugged and cried. Danielle began talking a mile a minute, trying to catch Jenny up on five weeks of events. The scene reminded me of what a shit I had been. Finally I couldn't take anymore. 

"Ah, Jenny?" She looked up at me. "I have to go out for a few hours, would you like Dani to stay here with you?" I wanted them to have time to spend together, but I didn't want her to feel obligated in case she didn't feel up to it.

She spoke, her voice sounding as thin as she looked. "I'd love her to stay. Thank you."

I excused myself and went out. There wasn't anywhere for me to be, but I couldn't stay there any longer. I decided to go home and try to get a short nap. It was a waste of time. I couldn't get the image of Jenny out of my mind. How could she do that to herself? I felt betrayed by her cheating, but I was still living my life. What I saw at Nicole's was far beyond what I expected. 

How could someone who thought it was OK to cheat on me be this devastated by the results? 

When I got back to Nicole's house, she told me that they were upstairs drawing. She thanked me again for changing my mind about her sister and Dani. I didn't know how to respond so just nodded and mumbled something. I told her I wanted to send Dani down so I could talk to Jenny for a minute. Nicole promised to keep an eye on her.

I got to the guest room and saw the two of them acting exactly how they used to. I swallowed my pride and knocked on the open door. 

"Daddy!" Dani cried, running up to hug me. I couldn't help but notice that she seemed to be much happier and more relaxed than she had been. She had been so guarded since Jenny left and it had been killing me. I would have given anything to be able to ease her pain. I told her that Nicole needed to talk to her downstairs. She told Jenny she'd be right back, giving her a quick kiss before running out of the room. I walked in the room and sat down at the desk, across from where Jenny was.

"We need to talk, but I'm not sure how to start."

She seemed intent on saying something, but changed her mind. "John, I want to thank you for letting Danielle come over. It means a lot to me."

I nodded a reply and nervously started talking. "I don't want this to be a one-time thing." When she began to speak I stopped her. "Please let me finish. I want you to see her when you want, either at my house or any time I need a sitter. However there are three conditions I have to ask you to agree to." She didn't say anything, but I could see she was nervous about what I might demand. 

"Number one, there can never be any men over while she's with you." I saw her get ready to defend herself, so I raised my hand asking her to let me finish. "I know you're going to say you wouldn't do that, but I have to demand it. If any guy, even one of our friends, wants to stop by, you have to ask me first. Also, Megan can never see my daughter, period. If I find out that you haven't lived up to this, I'll have to stop the visits immediately and there won't be any more chances."

I paused and let her know she could answer. "There are no other men John. Even if there was, I wouldn't ever do something like that to her. Megan isn't an issue; I haven't talked to her in months."

I nodded to show her I believed what she said. I made sure she was finished before continuing. "Two, you have to start taking care of yourself." I saw her turn and blush, so I got up and took her hand. "I know you've been depressed. Everyone has been telling me how upset you've been and I should have listened. Dani is going to pick up on how you're feeling. She needs to know that you're OK for her own peace of mind. I'm worried about you too, but don't do it for me. Do it for her...alright?"

She didn't say anything. I felt awkward talking to her like this, but I thought mentioning how her depression could affect Danielle would be the motivation she needed. Finally she quietly said she would. 

I took a deep breath for the hard one. "Number three, I need you to forgive me." I felt stupid saying it. I froze for a moment because I couldn't figure out how I was going to explain it to her.

"Forgive you for what?" she said, bewildered. "I'm the one who did this. It's all my fault." She began crying, very quietly.

I tilted her face toward me, wishing I could make this easier for both of us. "I want you to forgive me for intentionally hurting you. What you did crushed me. But whatever really happened, I know you never wanted to hurt me. I remember how upset you were when you got back from New Orleans." I saw her blanch at the mention of her trip.

"It's obvious that you were sorry it happened. I don't need to know anything else right now. What I did was out of spite. I did it to hurt you and I tried to make it as painful as possible. I'm ashamed of myself for doing it and especially for using Danielle to make it worse. I'm sorry." 

She looked down at her hands and didn't say anything for a long time. I was beginning to think I had pushed her too far when she finally answered. "I should have told you about New Orleans when it happened. It's my fault you found out in such a horrible way. You didn't have time to think about it so you tried to hurt me just like I hurt you. I don't blame you for anything. I just wish it hadn't happened. I'd give anything to be able to take it back." She looked at me with so much pain, I had trouble meeting her gaze. "Of course I forgive you."

She pulled me close and kissed me on the cheek. It was a small gesture to show me her affection, without forcing me to respond. As Dani and I left, I realized that Bryan was right. For the first time since I saw the video, I felt that some of the burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Nothing had changed, I still had lost my wife, but now I felt like I was finally involved in the decision. Now I had to meet Bryan's other requests.

I thought about asking Jenny what had happened, but there were several problems. First, I wouldn't know for sure if she was being honest. Second, I might be too emotional, hearing it from her and I wanted to keep my head straight. Third, I wasn't sure it was the right time for us to discuss this. I didn't want to take the chance of making things worse again. 

I made a few phone calls and came up with the name of a private eye in New Orleans I could trust. It was surprisingly inexpensive; I had anticipated something more extravagant. Too much television. He got back to me two days later with the name, address and work information of the stripper from the video. His name was David and he was working at a law firm now. He assured me the guy would be at work all next week. 

I dropped Dani off at Nicole's Monday morning, promising to be back some time Tuesday. I caught a late-morning flight and arrived in New Orleans just after 1:00. I caught a cab and went straight to the law office where David worked. He had found a full-time job as a clerk while he was finishing his law degree. The place he used to work for told the private eye he had quit back in November. 

I was nervous as I walked through the doors. It was definitely the strangest thing I had ever done and I still wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know what he might tell me. I had decided that stopping by his work would give me a decided advantage. It was a large, high profile firm and I was sure there was no way he would want trouble there. I had no idea what to expect, so I wanted to put him in an awkward position to keep him off balance. I asked for him at the front desk and they confirmed he was in. I waited for about ten minutes while he was located. I was just glad I didn't have to make up a story about why I wanted to see him. I figured they would assume it was work related, which would save me a lot of hassle. 

I could feel my stomach turn when he stepped into the lobby. He looked very different in a shirt and tie, but I would have recognized him anywhere. His face was burned into my memory and I wondered if I'd ever be able to erase it. He greeted me with a handshake and asked who I was working for.

I couldn't help but take some satisfaction from the change in his face when I told him I was here because he met my wife at his 'old job'. He nervously gestured for me to follow and led me to a small conference room on the first floor. We went in and he closed the door behind me.

"Look, I don't want any trouble. I don't work for them anymore and I'm sorry if there's some problem because of one of the parties. This job is very important to me and they can't know about that." He looked really upset. I knew that I had been right to confront him there.

"David, I'm not here to cause you any problems. I'm here for information. If you give me what I want, I'll leave and won't bother you again. If you refuse to answer my questions or lie to me, I have no problem causing the mother of all nightmares for you. Trust me, you deserve it."

He looked troubled. "I don't know what information I could have. I worked for them for a few months and there were a bunch of parties. I don't know how I'd remember any specifics that could help you."

"Actually," I began, "You didn't meet my wife for the first time at a party. There was a little get together with her friend Megan the night before and then you 'met' her again at the bachlorette party."

His eyes widened and he suddenly looked much more uncomfortable. "You're Jenny's husband." It was a statement, not a question. I got the impression he'd been expecting me.

"Yes I am. I have a completely fucked up life because of what happened that weekend and I'm trying to salvage something out of it. Nothing makes me more nauseous than the thought of discussing this with you, but I have no other choice. You need to believe me when I say I have no problem with taking out my frustrations on you and your excellent little career." 

I could tell he didn't doubt a word of what I was saying. "I'll tell you anything you want to know, but not here. You should come by my apartment after I get off of work. I'll give you the address." 

"That's OK, I already have it." I wanted him to be a little scared. He was considerably bigger than me and more than ten years younger. The last thing I wanted was a physical confrontation. I was just here for answers, but I needed him to feel that it was in his best interest to cooperate. I left and went to lunch. I went to his place at six o'clock like we agreed. 

When I rang the bell, he answered before I could even pull my finger off the button. He invited me in and motioned for me to sit in the living room. After asking if I wanted anything to drink, he grabbed a beer and sat across from me. Before I could speak, he slid a videotape that was already on the coffee table toward me.

"Everything you want to know is on there," he said quietly.

I was furious. "You taped it? Did she know?"

"No she didn't. It's not what you think, I always taped private parties. It's for my protection in case there are any problems later. I'm a law student, remember?"

I nodded as I looked at the ordinary looking tape with the name 'Jenny' written on the back. It was a pretty smart thing to do, now that I thought about it. Unfortunately I realized that as painful as talking about that weekend would have been, this would undoubtedly be much worse. 

I felt like I was going to be sick. "Is there anything I need to know that's not on the tape?"

He breathed deeply. "Yes, actually, there's a lot you should know. Megan contacted me the week before they came to town for the wedding. She knew my company would be handling the bachlorette party and asked about hiring me and one of the other guys for a private party the night before. Evidently someone recommended me to the bride by name and she passed it on to Megan. She told me it was mostly for her friend Jenny. She was trying to help her get away from an abusive asshole."

He paused as he looked intently at me. I guess my reaction was what he expected. "You've never hit her, have you?"

I was defensive and more than a little angry. "No and I never would. We had a great marriage until her trip. Actually, we had a great marriage for another six months after it until some sick son of a bitch sent me the Web site address for your old company. I checked out the site and found the video from the party with you, her, and Megan. It ended everything."

Surprisingly, he looked disappointed. "You two broke up?"

"Well, what do you think? What would you expect to happen once I found out about what she had done for the three days?"

"You mean two days, don't you?" he corrected me. Noting my blank expression, he thought for a second. "She didn't tell you about Sunday?"

"We haven't talked about any of it. We haven't spoken since I found out."

He honestly looked troubled. "Listen John, I know I'm the last person who you want in your business, but you should have talked to her about everything that happened. It wasn't what it looked like." 

I was stunned. What the hell was this about? "Not what it looked like? She fucked you and Megan for three days and you're saying there's a reason I shouldn't be mad about it?"

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...Well; I should just stick to what happened. When Jake and I got there Friday, your wife was already really drunk. Megan had sandbagged her, pretending to be drunk too. The truth is, by Sunday I found out that she set Jenny up."

"What do you mean, set her up? She didn't drug her or anything?"

David looked at the floor, "No, it was nothing like that. Look, I don't really want to talk about it, just watch the tape and judge for yourself. I'm sure it's going to be awful for you, but me telling you isn't going to make it any better. I don't know why you'd take my word for it anyway." I had to admit he was right about that. I nodded and he continued.

"You've seen the video from the Web site, so there isn't much I can tell you about Saturday that you don't already know. Nobody told her what was going to happen at the party, or I'm sure she wouldn't have gone. I guess she was so upset about Friday night that she let herself get really drunk again. I don't know exactly what happened, but I think Meagan worked on her for hours. She finally got Jenny to the point where she wasn't able to say no. Things get so crazy at those parties that I've seen a lot of women do things they would never do normally."

I was really surprised at how thoughtful he seemed. I was expecting someone cynical and egotistical, but kept being caught off guard by how unhappy he seemed.

He frowned as he lost his concentration for a moment. After taking a second to gather his thoughts, he continued. "Megan got her dancing on the stage with some of the other girls. When Jenny wasn't expecting it, Megan started kissing her and pushed her down on the stage. I guess she was too far gone to object much. That's when I came over." He gave me a pained look. "I swear to you, if I had known what was going on, I wouldn't have touched her."

I was confused. "You're telling me all this, but then say you didn't know. How am I supposed to believe what you're saying?"

"Because Jenny told me."

"Jenny told you, when?"

"Sunday, when she got up."

I finally started to understand. "So she stayed with you Saturday night."

He looked away from me again. "Yes, but it's not what you think. The reason the camera cut away on the video is because she kind of freaked out in the middle of it and ran out of the room. I was really worried about it, but Megan said it was nothing. She said you called and screamed at her about not being home Saturday and it upset her. It was stupid of me not to see something else was going on, but I figured a guy who beat up his wife... I guess I didn't question it because it felt cool to be helping someone like her get away from a jerk."

"Megan paid me extra to crash at their hotel room after the party. I told her I was way too tired for anything to happen that night, so she asked me to sleep with Jenny the next morning when we woke up. I don't know where Megan stayed. Jenny was already asleep when I got there, so I crawled into bed and passed out. The next morning she woke up before me. She ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. I figured it was from the hangover, but then I heard the crying."

"I went to the door and she was curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor. It really scared the shit out of me. I tried to get her out of there, but she wouldn't budge. After about half an hour I was able to talk her into coming back to the bed. I got her some coffee and she finally started talking to me."

"It was terrible; she would talk for a minute and then start crying hysterically. She talked about you, your daughter and how great her life had been. She was afraid she had ruined everything and felt horribly guilty. I stayed with her until it was time for her to leave for the airport. The whole time she kept beating herself up for what had happened and saying you'd never be able to forgive her. Just before she left I told her she shouldn't tell you. I said if it was my wife, I wouldn't want to know. If she really hadn't wanted it to happen, instead of ruining everybody's lives she should try to make it up to you. That seemed to help her at least get it together enough to get to the airport." 




After The Fact Ch. 02



"I felt so badly about everything that had happened, I called in Monday and quit. When I took the job, it seemed so perfect, get paid to fuck and party. When I saw what she went through on Sunday, I started wondering how many other marriages got wrecked by those parties. I had already received a good offer at the firm, but had been putting off starting. After spending Sunday with Jenny I realized that it was time to move on. That's everything I know." 

"If you want to take my word for everything, don't look at the tape. It's going to be fucked up to see her like that. If you watch it, I hope it will help you see that she was set up by Megan. All I can say is that I'm sorry that Jake and I helped. I think you're crazy if you don't give her another chance. She told me she didn't want any of it to happen and wished she could take it all back. There wasn't any reason for her to lie to me, so I believe her."

As he finished I tried to figure out how I should be feeling. Do I say thank you to the man who fucked my wife? Now that I knew more behind what had happened, did it make any difference? Jenny still cheated on me, but at least now I knew it was a one-time thing and not something that she went looking for. Drunk or not, she went along with it and then compounded her betrayal by doing it again the next night. David's description of her guilt made me more sympathetic to her, but I couldn't get the image of the party out of my head. 

Now there was another issue, do I watch the tape to confirm his version of the events? It would most certainly be worse than what I saw at the party and what would it change? I honestly didn't know if I could take seeing more of her like that. I wondered exactly what I had done to deserve this. 

Since everything was finished the first day, I caught an earlier flight. I arrived back in town very late, so I left Danielle with Jenny and got some sleep. In the morning I called Bryan. I filled him in on some of the details and asked to see him. He told me he'd have some time early in the afternoon and I could stop by.

"...OK, now that you know some details, you need to talk to your wife about it." I noticed that Bryan often chose to call Jenny 'my wife' or some other term of endearment rather than just saying her name. There was probably some specific reason, but I didn't get it.

"Now that some of the blanks are filled in, I think I'm ready to talk to her. There are still problems though. How do I know if she's being honest, even if I want to believe her? If it turns out that everything happened the way David explained it, then she certainly deserves more sympathy than I've shown her, but that doesn't excuse what she did. She still cheated on me, I doubt she would be very sympathetic if I got drunk and slept around on her. Then there's the video. Should I watch it?"

"Those are all really important questions John. Unfortunately I can't answer any of them for you. All I've been trying to get you to do is take charge of your life. It's not that I think you'll feel better if you do things the way I think they should be done. I let you talk for three weeks to understand your feelings about right and wrong. It's you fighting your own convictions that is making you so miserable. You can't let go of Jenny because you still love her, but feel like she needs to be punished for what she did. You have to decide what you can live with and what you are willing to give up. It's not easy, but that's life." 

I glared at him in frustration, "Thanks, that was absolutely no help whatsoever."

"John, all I can tell you is that if you can make your decision without looking at the video, don't watch it. There is more pain down that road and it will make things even harder for you. If you need to watch it to see for yourself how she acted, then you should watch it. In my opinion, if you need to watch it to make your decision, you've pretty much already made it anyway."

I thanked him and picked up Danielle. I talked to Jenny briefly, but tried not to act suspicious. I mentioned Bryan's sessions and asked if she would be interested in coming. She enthusiastically agreed, making me a little nervous about what she expected. I had tried to be more pleasant without getting her hopes up. I just wanted to get things resolved so I could move on. 

I made it until the day before the session without looking at the tape. It was locked in my desk, where Dani couldn't accidentally see it. Just after dinner that night, I decided I had to watch it. I asked Steve and Sharon to watch Danielle for the night. In case I couldn't handle what I saw, I didn't want her anywhere around me.

I sat around my house for an hour just staring at the tape on the coffee table in my living room. Finally I couldn't take not knowing and put it in the VCR.

Megan, Jenny, David and the other stripper were already in the room talking. Jake must have distracted them while David threw up the camera on something (it might have been in a bag set up to record without being seen). They had been out dancing together and were talking about how much fun the club was. While Jake and David talked on the other side of the room, Jenny pulled Megan aside. It happened to be close to where the camera was. Although I couldn't see them; it was easy to hear the conversation. Jenny was already slurring her words.

"Megan, I want to do this for you, but having two guys in my room is something John would freak out about. I can only help you to a point and then I need to go. I'll get another room for the night and you can have all the fun you want, OK?"

"Don't worry, Jen. Just help me tease them a little so I can get them where I want them. You can make an excuse, leave and I'll get to have a night I'll never forget. Did you see how hot they are! They're both in college and have incredible bodies. When I was dancing with Jake I could tell he's hung like a horse. This is going to be amazing. You just trust me, I won't let them try anything with you and when I'm sure they're ready, I'll let you know that it's time to leave."

"Megan walked over to the other side of the room and turned on a boom box. There was some club music playing and the girls began dancing with both guys. They must have picked up where they left off at the club because the dancing was already more than a married woman should be doing. They touched and ground against each other as it went from one song to another, although I noticed David never tried to touch anywhere that would have alerted Jenny that he was planning on more than dancing. 

When the fourth song started, Megan moved against Jenny, chest to chest, and began moving her hips against my wife's leg. The guys took up position on the outside and slid up and down against the girls backs. Megan started moving her hands up and down Jenny's sides, brushing the outside of her breasts. The guys stepped back and watched as Megan spun my wife around, running her hands around to her stomach. When one hand went over her breast, I thought I could see Jenny stiffen, but Megan just kept moving it up until it was brushing her face. 

As their dance continued, Megan moved her hands up and down Jen's hips and thighs. She suddenly spun her around and pushed a knee between Jenny's thighs. I could tell it was already getting out of control as Jenny began rubbing herself back and forth across her friend's thigh. Megan caressed Jen's ass with both hands as they continued. When the song ended, the girls split up and high-fived, giggling like it was no big deal. 

The guys got them drinks and everyone sat around for a few minutes. They danced for a few more songs, got more drinks and then Megan said she had an idea for a party game. She wanted to put on a blindfold and guess which guy gave the better neck massage. Jenny sat away from them as David covered her eyes. He went first, working on her for about a minute before letting Jake take over. When they were finished, she said it was too hard to tell. She invited Jenny to try.

While initially saying no, Jenny finally giggled and sat on the chair, waiting for the blindfold. I couldn't believe she was actually going to do that, their motives seemed so obvious. Despite her reminding Megan that nothing was going to happen, how could she not see where this was going? This time Jake went first, followed by David. Jake started cautiously, just rubbing the base of her neck. As he moved out to her shoulders, he calmly reached in front and undid the top two buttons on her blouse. Before she could protest, he moved back to her neck. After working on it for a little bit, he moved to the trapezius muscles, but slipped his hands inside her collar to reach them. 

The contact of skin on skin made an immediate impact on her as her head lolled forward. "Mmm, that feels good." 

After Jake finished, David took his turn. He used many of the same tactics, plus a couple of different tricks. Neither of them had gone over the line that would have alerted Jenny to their real intentions. I noticed that they each went at least twice as long as they had with her friend. 

Megan pulled her out of the chair and said, "My turn." Jenny had another drink as she watched the guys take turns working on her friend's neck, shoulders and upper back. 

After another couple of minutes, she bounced out of the chair saying she still wasn't sure. She pulled Jenny up and pushed her into the chair. Although Jen objected, she let herself be led. When David began rubbing her shoulders, he started going more forward. Every few seconds he would let his hands move to the open 'V' of her blouse and touch her skin. He was careful to not touch too low, but he continued to steadily wear her down. 

When Jake took his turn, Megan slid a chair close in front of Jenny and picked up one of her feet. When she jumped, Megan just said she knew Jenny's feet were tired from dancing and she was doing it so she could get the same treatment on her next turn. While she softly worked her hands over Jenny's foot and ankle, Jake took advantage of her distraction to undue another button. He did it quickly and it appeared Jenny didn't notice. 

As he worked his way down her neck and to her upper back, he pulled the shirt open as far as it would go without breaking the next button. His thumbs worked into the muscles at the base of her neck and then outward toward her shoulders (over her shirt). He took a couple of opportunities to reach into her shirt in front, but stopped well short of her breasts. If she had been sober, I know she would have objected, but as long as he didn't do anything to startle her, the slow seduction was working. 

I glanced at my watch and saw that each man had taken a full five minutes before letting Jenny up. When she tried to stand, she was obviously unsteady on her feet. I don't know how much of it was from the alcohol and how much was because she was so turned on. When Megan sat down, she insisted Jenny pay her back and put her foot up on the chair. 

Jenny reluctantly sat down and began massaging her foot and ankle as David applied the blindfold. Again the guys took turns and didn't appear to do anything nearly as invasive as what they did to Jenny. I wondered if in her condition, she thought that it was her imagination that it seemed to go on longer with her and that the guys touched her more aggressively. 

When Megan pulled off the blindfold, she announced that she was ready to vote on the winner in the men's contest. She then said Jenny needed to do it one more time so they could vote. Jenny pulled her close and said something into her ear. It appeared like she was saying she didn't want to. Megan reassured her and they traded places. Once the blindfold was on, she picked up one of Jen's foot and started caressing higher, this time from the calf to her knee.

I could tell she had stopped pretending to massage and was just softly caressing. Both hands worked at the same time and moved around, searching for sensitive areas to undermine her will. It had to be incredibly erotic for Jenny with the blindfold on. 


The first massage was Jake's and it had taken another step up. He ran his hands down her arms and pushed them together. I could tell he was trying to brush her arms against her breasts. Again and again he went from her neck to her arms. When he put one hand against her back, he reached his other arm across her chest, juts above her breasts, to hold her in place. I could see Jenny shift in her seat as this new tactic plus Megan's touches took its toll on her. 

Again it went for about five minutes, then the men switched. David again used almost the same technique. Megan switched legs and continued trying to drive Jenny wild. 

Somewhere in the middle of David's turn I started seeing the signs of arousal that I knew so well. Jenny began moving her hips in her seat. I doubted she even realized it, but I knew it meant she was wet. When they finished, it appeared that Jenny was well on her way to an orgasm.

Jenny got up and motioned Megan over by where the camera was. "That was too much Megan. I'm not comfortable with this anymore. I want you to have your fantasy, but you're going to have to do it yourself." Not only was she really sounding drunk, I didn't think she sounded as firm in her resolve to leave. 

Megan talked quickly, trying to keep her from leaving. When Jenny tried to protest, Megan said, "You're being silly. The blindfold makes it seem more intense than it is. They didn't do anything with you differently than me. Of course nothing is going to happen; we're just getting these guys hot so that they'd stay the night with me. You haven't done anything to be worried about. This is all just for fun, relax." I cringed and wondered how many drinks Jenny had, for her to be able to fall for such a load of crap. 

Megan turned and announced that David was the winner. She said Jake had one more chance to redeem himself. She wanted to try one more thing, for both men to massage her at the same time. She said she always wanted to have two guys give her a massage at the same time. 

I noticed that Jenny sat on the chair in front of Megan without being asked. Once the blindfold was on, the last round started. They kept it to about three minutes and again it was more or less respectable. Jenny rubbed Megan's feet and calves through the whole thing. Her touches were far different from what I saw Megan doing earlier.

I knew this would be where they would try to break my wife's will completely. It's not that she hadn't already let things go far beyond what she should have allowed to happen, but if they could get her to go further there wouldn't be any going back. Jake started on her right, with David on her left. Megan pulled the chair a little closer and worked from her mid-calves to mid-way up her thighs. I had turned the VCR's display on and saw it was about the five minute mark of the massage when they made their move.

Jake moved in front of her and put his fingers on her shoulders, letting his thumbs work down to a few inches above her breasts. David countered from behind by going down her back and around her sides. Jenny's breathing had become erratic and she began undulating on the seat. They kept her like that for a few minutes before Megan moved her hands all the way under Jenny's skirt. Again she stiffened, but when she felt the fingers touch her pussy, she seemed to lose control. 

I felt sick as I watched Megan slide her face between my wife's thighs, at the same time reaching behind and pulling her hips forward. Jenny leaned her head back and David took the opportunity to kiss her softly. I couldn't see exactly what Megan was doing, but she moved her face around and I assumed she was licking her over her now drenched panties. Jake gave up on the pretense of a massage and worked his hands down to her tits.

Jenny was obviously beyond rational thought. Her body heaved as the seduction that had taken over an hour (just counting what happened at the hotel) culminated in a huge orgasm. The three of them didn't change their tactics; they just kept working on her until I saw Jenny kissing David back as she grabbed the back of Megan's head with both hands to hold her in place. 

The men gently pulled her out of the chair and moved her to the bed. Megan didn't give her a chance to calm down, diving right back into her cunt. When Jenny was lying flat on her back, David began kissing her again, this time hard. Jake unbuttoned her blouse, pulled up her bra and slipped his hands over her breasts. When she moved her hips off the bed in the throes of another orgasm, Megan took the chance to slide Jenny's panties down her legs. 

The moment they were off, she moved her lips to Jen's clit. I saw her motion for David to come over. Jake took David's place, kissing her while rolling her nipples between his fingertips. Megan moved her mouth off of Jenny's pussy for only a few seconds, pushing her leg further over. David took the opportunity to slide between her legs and sink himself all the way in with one slow thrust. Jenny moved her hips up to meet him and I knew that there wasn't any more resistance in her. 

It was easy to see that David was very good at his job. As a dancer, he was able to move his hips in much the same way that Jenny used to drive me crazy. It probably wouldn't have taken much to keep Jenny in her current state, but he seemed to be elevating it to a new level. She began moaning and rocking her hips against him. As he increased his tempo, she wrapped her legs behind him indicating she really wanted this. Finally he moaned that he was coming, but didn't pull out. Luckily I could see he was wearing a condom. I couldn't imagine the kind of diseases he and his buddy had been exposed to. 

When he finished, he tapped Jake on the shoulder and slowly pulled out. Jake moved in to take his place and Megan took the opportunity to kiss Jenny and squeeze her breasts. As Steve dropped his pants I could see he was indeed bigger than Dave. I wondered if Jenny would have a problem with it. She had always been pretty tight for me and I wasn't nearly that big.

Jenny suddenly must have realized that it was Megan kissing her because she made a surprised sound and put her hands up like she was going to push her away. Just at that moment, Jake began pushing his monster cock inside of her. Jenny moved her hands to his shoulders, but instead of pushing at him, I could see her grab him. When he had worked about half his length into her, she started kissing Megan back with enthusiasm. 

Jake took over a minute to work himself almost all the way inside her. He pulled back and started leisurely thrusting about half his length into her, giving Jenny the chance to get used to his size. After a couple of minutes he was fucking her harder, getting closer to finally pushing his whole prick into my wife. Without any warning, he suddenly withdrew. He rolled Jenny over and pulled her up to her knees. He lined his prick back up against her pussy and shoved in, not stopping until he was buried all the way into her pussy. She gave a small cry of pain, but didn't protest. 

I thought about how tight she had always been while we were having sex and couldn't imagine how she was able to accommodate something that big. A shiver ran through me as I thought about all the times we had sex since that weekend. Did it still feel the same to her? Was she thinking about this night every time we made love? I tried to shake it off so I could continue watching. 

When I was able to return my attention to the TV, it looked like Jenny was somewhere between pleasure and pain as Jake started moving faster. On each stroke he pulled back until he was almost falling out, then would slide himself into her until his hips hit her ass. Megan took the opportunity to get on her back and crawl under Jen. I couldn't see her head, but it was easy to tell she was licking at my wife's pussy again. 




After The Fact Ch. 03



Author's Note: Please don't read this chapter without taking a look at the first two. It is a conclusion to the previous chapter and will be a more interesting when treated that way. 

One last thank you to Josephus and my volunteer editor Angel Love for all their help and hard work. It made writing this a lot of fun. Hopefully the hard work will pay off, but if not, criticisms are always welcome. I'm certainly no professional writer (I'm barely an amateur one), so it helps to get feedback in case I do another one of these someday. 

John found out his wife had cheated on him about six months earlier. He threw her out, then decided to find out why it happened. He discovered a tape made the night of her infidelity. Watching the tape, he was devastated by the things he saw her do.

*

When I picked Dani up the next morning, Sharon seemed concerned. "John, are you OK?"

I didn't want to talk about it, so I just told her things were complicated. When she tried to push me about it, I reminded her that what she had said about not wanting to be in the middle of things. She reluctantly let it go.

That afternoon, I dropped Dani off with the sitter and reluctantly headed to our session. When I got there, I saw that Jenny had already arrived. As I walked into Bryan's office I heard them talking amiably. They rose to greet me, but Jenny sank back to the couch when she saw my expression. 

Bryan looked at me sadly. "John, is there something wrong?"

I tried to be honest. "No, I'm just having a rough day. I think it would be better for us just to get started."

The session was a disaster. Bryan knew what was wrong, but didn't want to push it. Jenny didn't know, but was uncomfortable with my obvious attitude. I was miserable because I wanted to stand up and scream, but knew it would have made everything worse. There was something else bothering me, but I couldn't deal with it right now, so I shoved it to the back of my mind.

At the end of the session, Jenny left. I said goodbye, but stayed to apologize to Bryan for being in such a bad mood. He didn't give me the chance.

"You watched the tape."

All I could manage was, "Yes."

"Was it as bad as you feared?"

"Bryan, it was worse. I don't know what to do. I tried to stay quiet so I wouldn't say something I'd regret, but I just wanted to tell her how angry I was and how much she had hurt me. I can't believe how slu...er...how she was acting."

Bryan studied me for a little bit. "I had hoped you would let it go, but I can see why the urge to know what happened would be overwhelming. Was David telling the truth?"

I sighed, "That's the worst part, he was. She was drunk, her best friend tricked her and she was seduced by three people working together. But she gave in to it and enjoyed herself... a lot. I wanted to be outraged at the way they used her, I really did. She said no several times and said she didn't want to let anything happen that would hurt me. Once she gave in, everything changed. It looked like a first class porno by the time I decided I couldn't take anymore and smashed the tape."

"John, the only thing I can advise is that you need to sit down with her and tell her about it. She's going to be humiliated that such a tape exists and hurt that you watched it. You need to be gentle with her because she is very fragile right now. If it takes you a week to be sure you can talk to her without anger, take the time. You'll need to talk about it by yourselves because I don't want her put in a position where she feels like she's being ambushed here. Once you talk about it, I'll help any way I can. Please call me if you need to talk again." 

I left wondering if everything had finally gotten as bad as it was going to. 

Saturday I decided it was finally time to talk to her. I was still afraid I might blow up, but at least I calmed down enough to give it a shot. I wasn't sleeping at night with those images in my head, so wanted to get this over. Leaving Danielle with Steve and Sharon again, I went to pick up Jenny. 

I had called earlier and told her I had something serious to talk to her about. I didn't want to ambush her, but I also didn't want to scare her. I asked if she'd like to go to the park where we often took Danielle. It didn't have a lot of traffic usually, so we should be able to have some privacy.

I thought about telling her from the beginning about David and the tape, but decided it was too much. It might be so upsetting for her that we wouldn't be able to talk at all. Considering the mood I was in, I knew there was a very real possibility that this could turn ugly, so I swore to myself I'd be cool. I wanted to settle as much as I could. I couldn't allow myself to be selfish no matter how mad I got; Danielle had improved remarkably in the two weeks since I let her start seeing Jenny again. 

"Jenny, I think I'm ready to hear your side of things if you still want to tell me. I know you've been living with this for seven months and it has to have been hard for you. I can't promise I won't be upset, but I'll try my best to let you explain. I just am asking you to be totally honest. Don't pull any punches, the worst thing right now would be to find out you lied to me about something, OK?"

She nodded and took a second to collect her thoughts. With a sigh, she began. "For the last two months before the trip, things weren't working very well between us. I know you tried, I did too, but I was really worried. I was spending more time with Megan and she was saying things that made it worse. I didn't see it at the time, but I think she was trying to upset me on purpose. She never said anything directly against you, but it was enough to feed my insecurities. She would say things about having friends with problems similar to ours who eventually wound up divorced. I would tell her that we wouldn't end up like that, but I think some part of me was afraid." 

"I swear that I kept trying my best to make things better, but it was hard. I was scared that it wasn't going to get better and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I think I got defensive because every time I tried something, it didn't seem to work. I missed being close to you so much that I let some of her stories get to me." 

She took a deep breath before continuing. "Just before we went to New Orleans, she kept telling me how good it would be for our marriage with us being apart for a few days. She would say I should have fun so I could relax and let things get better naturally when I got back home. We went to the Hotel bar Thursday night and danced for hours. After doing some things Friday afternoon with Angie (the bride), we went to a different bar. We met two guys there."

She stopped talking, beginning to weep softly. I took her hand and asked her to please keep going.

"We all danced together for about an hour, then Megan and I went to the bathroom. She told me how hot she was for the guys and begged me to help her get them to our room so she could have a threesome. She said it would be good for my ego to flirt with another man, especially knowing that I wasn't going to do anything wrong. Because Megan was the one they'd be sleeping with, I wouldn't have to feel guilty."

She looked up at me with tears streaking down her face. "I was so stupid, I'm sorry. I was a little drunk and didn't think about what could happen. I didn't think about how you'd feel about me flirting, even if it was just to help her." She looked at her hands as she furiously rubbed them together in her lap. 

"We stayed at the club for at least another hour. Megan asked if they'd like a nightcap and they said yes. I thought I was doing something fun for her and planned to leave before things got out of hand. I think I underestimated how drunk I already was. Things that I know I should never have done didn't seem like that big a deal. I just kept thinking about her being able to have a wild night and how much I was looking forward to coming home to you all worked up."

"Once we got back to the room, they kept giving me drinks and dancing with us. Megan came up with a stupid game that we could play. I can't believe I agreed to it, but I did. Things got out of control right after that and I cheated on you." She looked up at me again, "I would give anything to take it back. I love you and never thought I was capable of something like that. I thought I was so safe, that Megan was watching out so that nothing could happen. I never could have imagined letting myself do those things." 

She stopped her story and began crying harder. I let her get it out, and then pressed her to continue. I wanted to see what lined up with David's version and what I witnessed on the tape. I was shocked that she confessed to everything without blaming anyone but herself. I didn't know if she was trying to take all the responsibility, or if she honestly didn't realize she had been set-up by her friend. She left out the sordid details and I didn't ask. She did admit to having sex with David, Jake and Megan. 

When she finished, I let her have a moment to collect herself. It had to be incredibly difficult to admit those things and I really felt awkward trying to ask questions. However, there was one big one that had to be addressed.

"Jenny, if what you're telling me is the truth, why didn't you just come home Saturday?"

She looked at me with very real pain in her eyes. "There were several reasons, but you're not going to like any of them. I know I don't."

I understood her discomfort, but I had to know everything, so I asked her to continue.

"First, I felt terribly guilty for what I had done. I didn't know how to face you and thought a couple of extra days would give me time to prepare myself for how angry you would be. Second, I wasn't physically up to it. If I had traveled home, you would have known immediately that something was wrong." 

She looked away and I thought I saw a flash of anger. "Third, Megan convinced me that Friday was something I caused and that it was proof that our marriage was in trouble." As she wiped away another tear, she refused to look back at me. "She said that I started everything by grabbing her hand and moving it under my skirt. Then she said I grabbed one of the guys and began kissing him. That's when everything got out of control." She paused and finally looked me in the eyes.

"I thought she was my friend and wouldn't lie to me. When I told her what I thought had happened, she said it must have been the alcohol and the blindfold making things seem more intense. She said that they were doing the same thing to me that they had done with her and everything was fine until I got out of control." 

I felt my jaws clench in anger as I listened to more of Megan's manipulations. Even though it was hard to separate any of this from Jenny's actions, it was obvious that she never had a clue that Megan could treat her like that. Her friend used Jenny's trust to undermine our marriage. I hoped that I could eventually find a way to pay her back.

"She told me that she got carried away because of the things I did. I should never have believed her, but I felt like such a slut...it was easy to think that the way I remembered things was just me trying to rationalize my behavior. I would have stayed at the hotel all day so I could try to sort things out, but she begged me to come with her. She said that everyone would know something was going on if I disappeared. She told me the best way to not make anyone suspicious was to act as if nothing had happened. I was so stupid." 

I began to feel myself losing objectivity. Jenny's pain was so acute that it was unbearable. I couldn't figure out how to console her without making things even more awkward, so I hoped she would take my lack of accusations as support. 

Saturday night was a different problem entirely. "I just don't remember how it got started. When we got there, nobody told me what was going to happen. I had a couple drinks with Megan while Angie opened her presents and the girls laughed and joked. When the man came out and announced the entertainment, I tried to leave but I felt really weird. I sat there for a while trying to get myself together, but I just couldn't. Some of the girls were dancing on the stage away from the strippers and I remember Angie pulling me up with them."

"The next thing I remember was some woman grabbing me from behind and me telling her to knock it off. I don't know what happened after that, but I suddenly realized I was laying on the stage and Megan was...well, you saw it. When the stripper came up to me, I know I tried to say no, but it's all a blur. I guess I just gave in. I was still sick from the night before so I only had a couple of drinks, or at least thought it was just a couple. I can't explain it, but that's the truth."

If she was telling the truth about not drinking that much, I was willing to bet that Megan had something to do with it. I didn't like her story about not knowing what happened, but there wasn't any reason for her to lie that I could think of, so I accepted it. I already knew most of what happened anyway.

I asked her if she remembered what happened right after that, because she disappeared from the video. She appeared very uncomfortable and said she wasn't sure. It was the first time I sensed some evasion from her. I insisted she tell me what she knew.

She looked away from me. "Do you remember what you said to me the night you made me leave? You said that I wasn't thinking about Danielle when I was being a slut with Megan."

I cringed as I heard the words come from her. They sounded harsh and crass; even though I knew what I actually said was even worse. "Yes, I remember it."

"Well, you were wrong. Everything was foggy. It felt almost like a dream and I was really confused. I knew what I was doing, but for some reason it didn't seem real. Then I remembered a conversation with Danielle about a week before the trip. She asked me what sex was." I raised my eyebrows because I this was the first I had heard about it.

"She heard someone mention it in some movie and asked me what it was. I didn't want to say the wrong thing; we've never really talked about what to say to her. Since you weren't home, I tried to be as vague as possible. I told her that it's something two grown-ups who love each other do together. I said it's very precious and you should only do it with the person you love because you need to love each other for it to be right."

"For some reason that conversation jumped into my head in the middle of what was happening. I had a vision of her seeing me like that and me trying to explain it. It snapped me out of whatever was going on and I jerked away from the stripper. I remember Megan calling to me and saying to come back, but I just ran out the door without even getting my clothes back on. I found myself standing outside in the rain, trying to get my bra back on, but couldn't because my hands were shaking so badly."

"When I finally got myself straightened out, I realized people were staring at me. I felt so humiliated, I just ran back to the hotel. When I got there, I took a long shower, then crawled into bed. I just lay there thinking about what I had done and how you'd never be able to forgive me. I cried until I passed out."

When Jenny didn't continue right away, I asked if she was OK. I realized that I hadn't really reacted to much of what she said because I already knew what was coming. I kicked myself because I wasn't ready to talk about David and didn't want her to notice anything. After a few moments, she seemed better so I asked her what happened Sunday.

She said the next morning she woke to find the stripper next to her in bed. She didn't know how he got there or if she had sex with him and everything hit her at once. She ran to the bathroom where she threw up, then couldn't stop crying. She backed up David's story about them talking and him telling her not to say anything to me. 

As she was leaving for the airport, she ran into Megan in the hotel lobby where they had a huge fight. Jenny told her to stay away, that she couldn't believe Megan had let those things happen after promising to watch out for her. Jenny had never had sex with a woman before and had no reason to think Megan was telling her anything other than the truth about what was supposed to happen. 

Although she was angry with her friend, she was feeling more humiliation from her own actions. Megan said that Jenny had wanted to act like that ever since she got married and that she had done my wife a favor. It ended with Jenny storming out to her cab and Megan heading back to the room. Since Jenny took an early flight, she didn't see Megan again before leaving. Since that night, they talked on the phone a couple of times, but hadn't seen each other once. 

When she finished, I didn't know what to say. I expected evasion; I thought she'd try to shift the blame, maybe a couple of white lies to make herself look better. Hell, after watching the video, I wouldn't have been surprised if she had said she hadn't consented. The one thing I hadn't counted on was her being completely forthcoming, even taking more of the blame than she deserved. It was unnerving. Her story about Saturday was disturbing, but I couldn't detect any dishonesty from her, so I let it go.

I let her cry for a long time, longing to comfort her but unable to overcome my own issues. I also wanted to tell her about the tape, but couldn't figure out how to do it without hurting her more. Knowing that David taped her being a complete slut would be awful. Finding out that I watched it would be a lot worse. I didn't see any purpose it would serve, so I decided to keep it to myself. 

When I finally spoke, I was surprised by the hoarseness of my voice. "Thank you for being honest with me, I know it must have been hard." She smiled weakly at my praise. Just looking at her made me want to shake her for doing this to us. I also wanted more than anything to hold her until she stopped crying. Part of me felt horrible that she had to suffer through this. I still loved her so much it hurt. Things were so complicated; I didn't know what to do. 

I took her home and then went to Steve's house. While waiting for Dani to finish playing, I went outside with him and told him everything (leaving out the specifics). He agreed that I had done the right thing by not telling her. He also remarked about how much better Danielle had seemed over the last couple of weeks. He did that a lot and I knew it was his not-so-subtle way of hinting that I shouldn't shut Jenny out of my life. I agreed that Dani had improved and told him it made things that much harder for me. When we left, I could only hope that time with my daughter could help me get it together. My time with her was the only thing keeping me sane.

After that, Jenny and I had two weeks of sessions that were much more productive. Every time Jenny would try to apologize or put herself down, Bryan would cut her off. He didn't want to hear about blame or either of us being sorry. It didn't address the real problems, which we still had looming in front of us. 

My daughter had one parent and one stepparent living in different homes. She had no say in what was going on and didn't understand why the adults couldn't work it out. Jenny hadn't done anything but punish herself for weeks. She had neglected her health, her job and had basically hidden from life since the truth had come out. 

I might have been the biggest mess of all. My punishment of Jenny caused me guilt, hurt my relationship with her family, devastated my daughter and caused a rift between me and my closest friends. It had gotten better since I relented and let her see Dani again, but there was still awkwardness between me and the people who I had been closest to. 

The day before our fourth session together, I dropped off Dani with Jenny's mom for the night. I needed to make a decision, and then stick to it. Drawing this out wasn't doing anything but harming all of us. I went to one of the bars we used to like visiting. There was a band playing there that I had been wanting to see for some time. I sat by myself all night, unable to enjoy anything. 




After The Fact Ch. 03



After the show, I went out for another long walk. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I wondered if isolating myself helped me to think clearly or if it might be making it tougher for me to see the big picture. I finally dragged myself home around dawn and left a message that I wouldn't be in to work. I had decided what to do, but didn't feel any better because of the decision.

The appointment was late afternoon. I got to the church office about ten minutes late because of some hang-ups with dropping off Dani. I tried calling to warn Bryan, but it went through to his voice mail. When I arrived, I saw Jenny's car so I hurried to the door. I went inside, but there was no one else in the lobby as usual. When I got to the Bryan's office, something I heard made me stop. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, it just happened so fast.

"Maybe I should just go."

Bryan sounded shocked, "Jenny, you can't mean that."

"He is so upset all the time. I just can't take seeing what I have done to him. I love him more than anything, then I ruined his life. Maybe he's better off if I just went away." Jenny sounded miserable.

"But you don't want that, do you?"

She paused, "No, I want to find a way to fix this mess, but how can you fix something this broken? I don't want to hurt Dani, but if it will help John, I'd be willing to move back to New York and start over again." I heard her voice break as she finished.

"Jenny, I can't tell you what to do, but I strongly urge you to talk to John about any major decisions you make. He might not be in the frame of mind you hoped for, but he is trying. You can't expect him to just put what's happened out of his mind, can you?"

"Bryan, you don't understand. I'm not thinking about doing this because I'm unhappy about how he's treating me. I spent six months trying to find a way to make up for what I did, hoping he'd never have to find out. I knew how horrible it was, but I underestimated how much it would hurt him. I don't think he's ever going to be able to look at me without thinking about what I did. If I can't find a way to make things better for him, then I should go away so he doesn't have to look at me anymore. I just want him to be happy, no matter what it takes. I owe him that."

I didn't want to walk into the middle of that, so I went back to the front door and closed it loudly. As I approached Bryan's office, I started talking loudly so they would know I was there. "Hey guys, sorry I'm late." As I rounded the corner, I saw Jenny facing away from me, wiping her eyes with a tissue.

"Is everything OK?" I tried to sound surprised.

Bryan answered, "Yes, we were just talking about something while we were waiting. Jenny, are you OK to continue?" She nodded.

"Then let's pick up where we left off last week. You two have made a lot of progress dealing with problems related to the separation. Now it's a question of where to go from here. Jenny, what are you hoping to accomplish?"

She was silent for a long time. I thought she was going to beg off because of what I heard outside the office. She looked over at me and surprised me with a very honest answer. "I want John to give me another chance."

Bryan waited for a few moments to see if she'd elaborate, then responded. "Well, that isn't exactly what I had in mind. Why don't you think of a more short-term goal we can work toward while John gives us his answer...John?"

I looked at him, wondering how I should answer. Then I looked at Jenny who had looked away. The way she was sitting made me think she was feeling incredibly alone. She probably expected me to hate her forever, yet she was coming to these sessions. She had answered all my questions truthfully at the park, even when I knew they were humiliating. Whether it was because she hoped I could someday forgive her or because she honestly was willing to do anything to make up for her transgression, I couldn't guess. In the end, her motives weren't important to me. 

I looked down to the floor. "I want Jenny to come home."

I waited for a moment before looking up. When I did, I could see the bomb I just dropped had caught both of them by surprise.

Bryan sat back, completely shocked. We had never discussed me even considering reconciliation. As far as he knew, the best result we could hope for would have been an amicable parting so both of us could get on with our lives. Jenny looked at me incredulously like she thought it was a cruel joke. I realized at that moment how deeply I had hurt her.

"Jenny, I love you and I miss you. I know I haven't given you any reason to believe there was a chance for us, but you've still been trying. There's no way to make up for what you did, but if you want to come home and try to start over, I'm willing to do my best to make it work." I paused, and then added, "For us and for Dani." I waited to see what her reaction would be. 

She got up from her chair without saying a word, walked in front of me and dropped to her knees. She put her head in my lap and put her arms around my hips, beginning to cry again. I finally stopped fighting the urge to comfort her and gently stroked her hair back with my hand. Finally I stood, pulling her to her feet. I kissed her for the first time in over two months and she melted against me. 

After a minute, I gently pushed her back. "There are things we have to talk about first, OK?"

She looked at me with some uncertainty, but nodded. 

I looked over to give our 'host' the chance to speak. "Bryan is it OK for me to keep going, or do you have any questions."

He couldn't help but laugh. "John, I think we've had too many of these meetings. That sounds like something I'd say." He indicated we should continue.

"Jenny, I've given it a lot of thought. We have to come up with ground rules that we both agree to. Things are really screwed up and I need things I can count on before we can go forward." As I laid out my requests, she listened intently. 

When I finished, she eagerly jumped in. "That's fine; I'll do anything to make it up to you."

Bryan spoke up, "I don't think that's what he wants, is it John?"

"No it's not." 

Seeing Jen's puzzled expression, I clumsily tried to explain feelings I didn't fully understand. "I married a strong, self-confident woman who changed my life. I don't want you to come back as someone who's willing to do anything for another chance. I want the woman I married. Think of it like a glass that was broken. If we just tape it together, it will never last and won't make anyone happy. If we take the pieces, melt it down and start over, we can make it strong again. Is that OK Bryan?"

He looked impressed. "Yes, that's actually very insightful. When a couple goes through the kind of situation you've endured, many times the thing that does them in is one spouse trying too hard. The imbalance it creates causes unforeseen problems. The spouse trying to be accommodating can eventually feel unappreciated and resentful. The other spouse can lose respect for someone who is constantly willing to be degraded. The best intentions can cause the worst results."

I took the lead again. "There have to be rules because of what's happened, but they aren't to punish you or test your loyalty. I expect you to suggest your own rules and I fully expect you to hold me to all the ones we both agree to." I couldn't help stroking her cheek with my fingers while I talked. "When we first got together, it took over a year to learn about each other and work out how we should handle things. If we're going to try to start over and do it without taking that kind of time, we need to set up rules that neither of us is allowed to break, for any reason. Hopefully that will give us a place to start from." 

Jenny was trying to keep up with everything, but it was obviously difficult. My announcement had been such a shock that she was having trouble following what was being said. I know she'd agree to anything if I'd just give her a chance to make up for what happened, but I needed her to understand that what I was asking was more than that. If I was going to open myself up to her after what she had done, she had to be ready to give this everything she had. It wasn't just because I was worried about getting hurt again; I wasn't going to open Danielle up to another round of this unless we had an agreement that was set in stone.

We spent the rest of the session discussing things we both needed from each other if we were going to attempt this. After we agreed, she went home to tell her family. I stayed for a bit to go over things with Bryan.

"I'm a little concerned about your quick change of heart, John. When you do things on the spur of the moment, it can cause more harm than good in the long run."

"This wasn't spur of the moment. I have been trying to work it out for weeks, but didn't think I could. This week I decided I had to make a decision and stick to it.

Bryan looked like he was trying to understand something. "OK, so you decided to make a decision, but why such a drastic change?"

"I finally realized that in all the time I had known her, Jenny had never acted the way I saw in the video. She dressed sexy, but never slutty. She could have been an exotic dancer if she chose, but had never danced like one, even with me. She never got drunk and rarely passed the point of being a little tipsy. I thought about whom I wanted Danielle to be like when she grew up and there was only one person I could think of...Jenny."

"Something happened down there that she couldn't handle. I still hate what she did, but I don't believe she'll do it again. If I accept that it was a one-time incident, then I have to think about what you said to me about being a victim or a man. Some people would view a man as someone who wouldn't take crap off of anyone and would kick her to the curb, no matter what the consequences. Some would punish her for months or years before considering letting her come back. I decided that for me, being a man meant taking care of my daughter first. She needed Jenny home."

Bryan still didn't look convinced. "But that sounds like you're trying to make everyone else happy. Is this what you want?"

"I don't know how to answer that. None of this is what I want. You're asking me to choose between two miserable things, and then asking which one is less crappy than the other. I do want to fix things with her, but I don't have any idea how long it will take. I don't know if I should do it with her at Nicole's, or if she should be home. I'm not looking forward to the problems we're going to have, knowing that I can't just walk away like I've been doing since she left. In the end, it's just making a decision, then trying to live with the consequences."

He thought for a while before responding. "Well, I can tell you've thought this out John. When you walked in the door the first time, I wouldn't have thought this was a possibility. I'm glad I was wrong. If I had to take a guess, I'd say you're right. She loves you very much, so if you can keep things together long enough to trust each other again, I think you can make it in the long run."

"I hope so, for both of our sakes."

Bryan gave me a serious look. "But now that you've taken charge, I think it's time for us to move on." I looked at him with dismay. "I don't do professional counseling; I just listen and try to help people when I can. I have a very good friend who is an excellent therapist and is very experienced in the kind of troubles you have ahead of you. His name is William and I'm asking you to take Jenny and meet with him. No matter how much you think you have figured out, things will be tough and you don't want it to affect Danielle or ruin what you are trying to accomplish."

When I still didn't appear thrilled, he added, "If it would help, I could have Steve threaten to kick your ass." We both shared a laugh that helped relieve some of the tension. I thanked him for everything he had done as I left and got ready for yet another major challenge. 

She moved back that Saturday. It was wonderful for Dani, she and Jenny talked and played for hours. At the end of the night, Danielle insisted that both of us tuck her in. She refused to let Jenny leave and held her hand tightly until she fell asleep. It reinforced my belief that I had done the right thing. I couldn't have asked for a better person to care for my daughter. 

Afterwards, Jen and I talked quietly, then went to our separate bedrooms where we'd be staying until we both agreed to change our arrangement. It had been a very mixed homecoming for me. I was ecstatic because of how happy Danielle was. It also made me feel good to see how coming back had such an immediate impact on Jenny. She seemed different, more relaxed immediately. It wasn't as easy for me.

Although I still knew I loved her, being this close without actually being close just reminded me of how fucked up everything had become. If it was just the two of us, I'd just avoid her until I was ready, but something like that would be painfully obvious to my daughter. I just smiled and tried to enjoy seeing Dani back to normal.

It went that way for three weeks. Jenny was very respectful of my feelings. She didn't make any effort to push me, but she let me know that she was ready if I wanted to talk, or anything else. 

We started seeing William the first week Jenny came back. He was good at his job, but I didn't feel the kind of connection I had with Bryan. He liked to talk about our feelings and do exercises that were supposed to help us see things from each other's point of view. I tried not to be obstinate, but I felt like it was a waste of time.

The fourth week, I think Jenny was getting a little frustrated at my lack of warming to her. I started noticing her dressing a little sexier around the house and she touched my arm or leg every chance she got. It was pleasant, but very little had changed in my mind. It seemed like I was stuck. I felt more comfortable around her than when she first came back, but I didn't have any desire to touch her. There were three more weeks of nothing changing when she finally demanded that we talk. 

"John, I'm starting to get worried. I'm grateful that you asked me to come back and I'll wait as long as you need, but I don't feel like you really want me here." She looked at me like she was trying to read my thoughts. 

My eyes evaded hers, "I wouldn't have asked you to come home if I didn't want you here." 

Evidently, my acting wasn't very good. "Please honey, there is something bothering you and I want you to talk to me about it. How are we ever going to get past all of this if we don't talk about everything that's bothering us? It's one of our rules, no secrets. You wanted me to come back and fight for our marriage, well now you get your wish. You aren't going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong." She put her hands on her hips in defiance and I knew she wasn't going to let me off the hook.

I had decided before I invited her back not to tell her about David or the tape. I didn't think it was necessary to make her live with that knowledge and I thought I would be alright. Now I realized it had been in my mind every time I thought about us getting closer. Now that I was on the spot, I didn't have time to think and it just spilled out.

I told her everything about meeting David, hearing his version of the story and seeing the video. I told her that it didn't just happen; Megan had planned the whole thing before they ever left. Finally, I told her about destroying the tape when I couldn't watch anymore. 

"I swear I haven't been holding it against you, Jen. I just haven't been able to get those things out of my head."

She stared at me in disbelief. I saw her lower lip quiver and knew she was able to completely break down. I was immediately sorry that I had told her. She pushed past me and ran up the stairs, ignoring my pleas to stop. I heard the bedroom door slam shut. Although I tried to coax her out of the room for hours, she completely ignored me. I called her Mom, who had been watching Danielle today and asked if she could stay overnight. I told her that Jenny and I had a fight, but not to worry.

Jenny didn't come out all night. I fell asleep on the couch waiting for her. When I woke up the next morning, I had a blanket around me. Confused, I wondered how it got there. I stretched and tried to work the kinks out of my neck when I felt something with my leg. I looked down and saw Jenny curled up on the couch in front of me, using my leg as a pillow. I looked at her sleeping, eyes swollen from crying and wanted to make her feel better somehow. 

I quietly slipped off the couch and into the kitchen, where I made breakfast and coffee. When it was finished, I brought it into the living room and put it down in front of her. I gently shook her shoulder until her eyes opened. It took her a second to focus, then she sat up quickly and pulled herself into my arms. 

She talked in a trembling voice. "I'm sorry that you had to go through all that because of what I did. I thought I had already hurt you as much as possible until yesterday. It must have been terrible for you to go through that by yourself. I don't know what else to say," she started sobbing again, "I'm just so sorry."

"That's enough for now," I scolded. "I went to all the trouble of making breakfast, I expect you to eat every bite." When she looked at me like she was going to protest, I firmly told her that she had to take care of herself or that I would, so I just fed her like I would have done with my daughter. When she started eating on her own, I slid behind her and rubbed her neck and shoulders. There was so much tension; I wondered how she could have slept at all.

When she finished, I took the dishes to the kitchen while she went up and showered. She came down afterward and told me it was my turn, that I smelled like the couch. I laughed as I headed up the stairs. The hot water felt good as I tried to stretch out from sleeping uncomfortably all night. I took my time and my thoughts drifted to breakfast. I thought about how she felt, leaning against me as I massaged her shoulders. I remembered how good it felt as my hands ran across her neck and down her back...

I realized with a smile that I actually had an erection, the first one I could remember in weeks. It wasn't just a random reaction; I really felt the desire to go to her. I knew this wouldn't be the right day to approach her about sex, so I closed my eyes thinking about how warm she felt on the couch and masturbated. It felt really good to be thinking of her while touching myself. 

I made a vow that the next time the situation presented itself; I would try to tactfully bring up us finally consummating her homecoming. It was a little bit of a dilemma because I wasn't sure if I should do something romantic, or if I should keep it low-key. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and make her feel pressured. After yesterday's events, I thought she might be a little timid about doing anything physical for a while. It didn't matter; she had let me know she was ready for weeks, patiently waiting for me. It would be easy for me to do the same. 

I got out of the shower and dried myself off, feeling markedly better. I brushed my teeth, shaved, put on deodorant and even splashed on cologne. Today would be a great day to take her out and do something special. We could pick up Dani afterward and do something as a family. My mood just continued to pick up as I planned the day. I had it all figured out and was ready to surprise her. 

I opened the door and saw Jen, sitting on my bed in her sexiest teddy. "Surprise!" she said a little nervously.

After not having sex for two months, my first thought was that I was glad that I had taken the edge off in the shower. My second thought was "Oh shit, I just jerked off!" After only getting one erection in three weeks, I hoped that wouldn't be a problem.




After The Fact Ch. 03



Jenny stood, looking a little unsteady. "John, I know I promised not to push you until you were ready, but I need you...please."

I should have said something immediately, but the shock of seeing her like that was overwhelming. I was also struck by how beautiful she looked. She still hadn't gained enough weight to get her figure back, but instead of detracting from her appearance, it made her look more innocent and fragile. I was torn between wanting to protect her and needing to throw her down on the bed and ravage her. I fell into my old pattern of gawking too long.

She began to get tears in her eyes. "John please, I know how you're feeling. If you just will be with me this one time I promise I won't ask you again."

I realized she had misunderstood my hesitancy, so I stepped forward to embrace her. "Jenny, you don't understand. I want this too." I saw her expression change to hopeful. "I was afraid you wouldn't want to, considering the way things have been; especially after yesterday."

"I don't 'want' to, John. I 'need' you inside of me."

I ran my hand through her hair, brushing it out of her face. I gently stroked her cheek with my thumb as I pulled her face close to kiss her. As our lips met, I was struck as always by how soft her lips were. When her tongue moved between my lips, searching out mine, I felt sparks shoot through me. I couldn't remember ever wanting someone this badly.

I moved my lips to the side of her neck, where I knew she was sensitive. She moaned as she ran one hand through my hair, the other stroking my back. I moved to her chest, kissing her breasts through the thin fabric of the top. I could feel her rock her head back as she took in the sensations. Her nipples had always been sensitive, but when I tugged up her top and took one in my mouth, she surprised me with a loud moan and grabbing my head firmly with both hands. 

She held me in place, not allowing my lips to move off her breast. I bit gently and pulled on her nipple and she responded by wrapping her fingers in my hair. I was feeling a little out of control and reached behind her, pulling her chest hard against my face. I got as much of her breast into my mouth as I could and sucked hard. I started moving around, leaving small marks all over her chest as she continued to make louder noises. She leaned back until she was laying flat on the bed and dragged me with her.

I moved down to her stomach and leisurely licked small patterns across her flat, smooth skin. She began thrusting her pelvis against my chest, seeking relief for the arousal she was feeling. I wasn't going to be hurried. I wanted to savor every second of this. 

When I reached her panties, instead of removing them I decided to tease her. I pulled up slightly on the front and ran my tongue back and forth under the elastic. She lifted her legs and dug her heels into my back. I moved my mouth down and dragged my tongue on the outside of her panties down over her clit, running it through the crease of her pussy. When I got directly over her opening, I realized she was dripping wet. 

Instead of doing what she expected, I moved away from her pussy and began nibbling her inner thigh with soft, wet bites. She moaned her disapproval, but I was going to do this my way. I stayed on the inside of her thigh, moving from the edge of her panties down to just above her knee. I let my hand wander up to her panties and stroke softly up and down her pussy, pushing just hard enough with my finger to move the material past her outer lips. 

"Oh baby, that's so perfect, right there. Please don't stop that," she moaned. 

I increased the tempo with my hand and pushed a little harder. Then I moved my mouth up to her breast again, the change of angle making me alter the way I was using my hand. That change, along with my biting at the nipple I had ignored earlier caused her to reach the plateau I had been looking for. 

"John I'm going to...I'm...going to cum. Yesss!" she yelled. She dug her fingernails into my shoulders so hard that she drew blood.

I was suddenly glad we hadn't tried this while Danielle was home. I wasn't finished yet either.

I kissed her briefly, and then moved back down to her panties. I rolled them down her legs slowly; hoping the teasing sensation would keep her excited enough so I could make her cum again. I wanted her to be so overwhelmed that she'd never forget today. 

Once I slid her panties off her feet, I moved in quickly, capturing her clit with my lips. I sucked, then licked on the sensitive bud, trying to keep her close to the precipice. After a minute of alternating my technique, I moved my hand back down and inserted my index finger into her opening. As I thrust my finger into her repeatedly, I twisted it in a corkscrew motion. She was so wet that her juices were running down her skin to the bed. 

I removed my finger and moved my tongue down through her folds and to her ass while I pushed up on her legs. We had only tried this once or twice, but I thought it would be the change of pace I'd need. At first, I just ran my tongue over her anus while moving my arm around her leg so I could massage her clit with my finger. When she began shaking, I thrust my tongue inside her, just a little, to try to push her over the edge. 

She began writhing on the bed, but I couldn't get her to orgasm, so after a couple of minutes, I quickly slid up her body. Since I was just wearing a towel, it was easy to undo with my free hand. Without any warning, I slid my prick into her wet pussy, sliding easily inside. She started to bring her feet behind me but I stopped her. This was how we often initiated sex from the missionary position, but I didn't want any reminders of the video to intrude on this moment. Instead, I grabbed under her knee and lifted it to my shoulder. 

If she understood my reaction, she didn't give me any sign. I pushed deeper inside of her, feeling her pussy surrounding my shaft, squeezing it like a vice. I didn't know if it was the length of time since we'd had sex, or if it was just the emotion of the moment, but I couldn't remember her ever feeling that good. I buried my face in her neck and sucked hard, leaving an obvious mark. At the same time, I began quickly moving my hips, trying to get her off. 

She screamed again as I started moving faster and another orgasm overtook her. Her hips moved against me hard and it took everything I had to hold on to her. I stopped while the tremors subsided. When she calmed down, I was ready to begin thrusting again, when I noticed a single tear running down her face.

I was immediately concerned. "Jenny, what's wrong? Are you OK?"

At first, she nodded yes, but she looked undecided. After a few seconds, she spoke. "What we just did was wonderful John. But could we slow down now? I want you to take your time and make love to me, even if I don't have an orgasm, it's what I need. OK?"

I didn't know what to say. I had been so fired up to do something she'd never forget; I wasn't sure what to do next. We changed positions and started again, but the mood had been broken. I wasn't sure what she wanted and there was definitely something bothering her. We settled for laying down, facing each other on our sides with me still inside her. I stroked her face, hair and body with my hands as we kissed. When I finally came, it was anti-climactic and somewhat embarrassing. I knew something was wrong, but after four months I couldn't help it, I needed the release. 

As I came, she held me tightly, burying her face in my chest. She wrapped her legs around mine almost like she wanted to touch every part of my body at the same time. We stayed together for several minutes, then let go and rolled, turning her back to me. 

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Jenny, what happened? You seemed to be really enjoying yourself, and then you got upset. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, it wasn't wrong," she said slowly, "But it wasn't right either." Noting my perplexed look, she continued. "John both of us have been putting off really talking about things since the night I left. I think we need to do this now."

I wasn't so sure. "Jenny, we just finally got things back on track, why now?"

She looked up at me with eyes that reflected a sadness that startled me. "How can you say that? Nothing is on track." When I couldn't think of a way to respond, she said something that made my stomach turn. "Tell me truth, weren't you just thinking about the video?"

I tried to stammer out a defense, but she cut me off. "John, I want to try something. Do you remember the exercise William told us to use?"

"You mean the one where we try to say what each other is thinking?"

She nodded, "Exactly." She sat up in bed and pulled me with to face her. "I want to tell you what I think you're feeling about seeing the video from the hotel, then I want you to try."

I couldn't believe she was bringing this up now. It seemed like such a waste. I didn't want to say anything stupid after us finally getting back together, so I motioned for her to go ahead.

"You are hurt that I could enjoy myself with those men and Megan. You are concerned that I feel there is something missing in our marriage, which is why I did those things. You don't know if you can trust me because I did that, then lied to you." She looked away from me. "You are worried about what I think about you physically because...well one of them had a...was large," she finished with difficulty.

I tried to stay calm, but she was closer than I wanted to admit. "That's quite a list, is there anything else?"

She looked back at me, "You think I liked being with them more than you because I let him..." She couldn't say David's name out loud. "Take me in a way I wouldn't let you."

The look on my face must have given me away. How could she know me so well? I was embarrassed that I could be so transparent. She turned away for a moment, then looked back at me with tears brimming in her eyes. She refused to wipe them away. "Was I right?"

When I nodded, she told me to start. I hated the thought of this. The reason I liked Bryan so much in the first place was that he didn't have us do stupid crap like this. If she wanted me to know how she felt, she should just tell me. I scrambled to come up with a list off the top of my head.

"You are embarrassed that I saw you doing those things. You are sad that I had to see it and what happened between us. You want me to let you make it up to me." I tried, but couldn't come up with any more. "Well?"

I tried to get a clue from her eyes, but couldn't read her expression. It was almost like the first time I saw her at Nicole's house. Kind of detached, but still obviously suffering. 

"Not even close."

She didn't elaborate and I began to feel uncomfortable. I suddenly realized how naked I was and awkwardly covered myself. "What do you mean?" I wondered what I could have missed.

"I'm sad because I have to live the rest of my life knowing you think of me as a whore."

I was shocked. "Whoa, I never said anything like that! I love you. I had you come home so we could fix things. Where the hell did you get the idea I felt like that about you?"

She kept giving me the same look and said, "It's not an idea, it's the truth." When I couldn't think of what to say, she went on. 

"How does that saying go?" She paused for a moment, "Oh yeah, 'You are what you choose to be.' I lived my entire life without ever doing anything like what happened in New Orleans. I choose to be a good person, I didn't lie, people had respect for me and I was loved. In two days, I destroyed everything and I can never get it back. You will never look at me again without qualifying it by thinking about the fact that for 48 hours I chose to be a whore."

I tried to interrupt, but she stopped me. "It's my fault all of this has happened, I don't blame you at all. Somewhere in my heart, I wanted to believe that you could forgive me, but I was wrong. I knew it when you stopped me from helping you get inside me. You were thinking about the video while we were having sex, weren't you?"

Now I was completely busted. I tried to think of a way to defend myself. After all, how could I help what flashed in my mind. It had only been two months since I saw the fucking video, how could anyone get that out of their head? In the end, I wound up nodding stupidly.

"You tried to make the sex really amazing for me, didn't you?"

"Yes, but what's wrong with that?"

"You didn't do it for me. You did it to prove that you could do it better than the others and that I didn't need anyone else. You wanted to make me see that you were the best."

"I still don't see how that was wrong."

"This was the first intimate moment we've had in four months and you used it to one-up the guys who treated me like a whore. What makes you think I'd want you to treat me like they did, just better?" 

I stared at her numbly. This was getting out of control fast. "I wasn't doing that. I wasn't one-upping anyone. I was just trying to make you happy."

She seemed frustrated. "You don't understand, I was already happy! I didn't go to New Orleans to get laid. I didn't go there to be used like a cheap slut, and then thrown away. I didn't enjoy the way it made me feel and I never want to do anything like that again. You keep thinking I did this because of something you did wrong or that I wanted something you couldn't give me." 

Her expression softened, "I have never regretted anything about our relationship other than the problems we were having. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I didn't have fantasies about other guys. I never felt like I was missing out on anything by being with you."

"I made a horrible decision. I still don't understand why I did it, but I would do anything to take it back. For six months, I lived with it every day without being able to talk to you about it. It has killed me in ways I can't describe. Now when you finally give me another chance, I find out that you think you need to compete with it?"

I couldn't just take it anymore. "I saw the fucking video! You did enjoy it. You liked it when Jake fucked you with his big dick. You enjoyed Megan going down on you and you enjoyed doing it to her. You liked it when David fucked you in the ass. What exactly is it that I don't understand?" I suddenly realized I was shouting. Jenny laid down on the bed and curled into a ball.

"Oh shit, Jenny I'm sorry. Honey, I didn't mean that. I...I..." I had no idea what to say. As she sobbed, I tried to calm her down. When nothing seemed to work, I just sat there feeling helpless. I couldn't believe I could get so angry, so fast. How could I treat her like that right after she opened herself up to me?

"It's OK, I told you I understand." Her voice sounded small and frightened. "I don't care if this is the worst fight we ever have, we are going to talk this out now. I don't want any more stalling." She started gaining some strength. 

"Yes, you saw how I acted on the video. I can't deny any of it. I won't make excuses. But you didn't see when they left and I cried myself to sleep. You didn't see the next morning when I was in so much pain, I couldn't make it out of the room and Megan had to get me pain pills from one of the bridesmaids. You couldn't know how humiliating it was to have the bride ask me what happened and if I was OK."

By now, she had built her own head of steam. "I fucked up everything!" She looked me in the eyes and didn't flinch. "I acted like a whore and they treated me like one. The only thing missing was the money on the nightstand. I love you with every bit of my heart, but I still did every one of those sick things you saw. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I know that if we stay together one day we'll have a fight, it might be a week, it might be ten years from now, and you'll think about the video. It's forever John! I can never get back what we had, the way you used to look at me, like I was somebody special." She stopped, suddenly unable to continue.

I reached out to grab her, but she hit at my chest with her fists. Undeterred, I just pulled her to me and held her. She stopped fighting and started crying hard against my chest. I could feel her tears running down my skin and felt it was my turn to confess. I didn't know what else to do.

"When I asked you to come home, I wasn't sure if I was ready. I just knew that I had to do it for Danielle." I felt her shoulders heave as she cried even harder against me. "I did it because I couldn't stand to see her so upset. I couldn't stand to see you hurting like that either. I'm sorry if it caused some of this. I was just trying to make everyone happy."

I felt her push away from me slightly. I looked down to see her staring up at me. 

"What about you?"

I just shrugged, "What about me? I felt like shit no matter what. I missed you. You are my best friend and my lover. If things weren't so great in the love department, I could live with it. As long as you two were happy, we could work out the rest."

"Damn it John, don't you get it? There is no working out the rest without the love. Why would you want to work anything out with me after what happened if you don't love me?"

"I didn't say I don't love you. I just didn't know how long it would take us to get things right again. You don't understand how hard this has been for me. Every night I've got Danielle asking me why I won't forgive you and telling me how much she misses you. I have our friends dropping hints about how much better everything would be if I gave you another chance. Then there's your family, who I love, hinting about it every chance they've got. Plus I missed you so much I thought I was going crazy." I looked away in frustration.

She touched my face with her hand. I really loved how she did that. It was a small gesture, but one that always was special to me. 

"I understand how hard it was for you which is why I never pressured you for anything. Even when I knew you were holding back, I didn't push because I wanted you to talk to me when you were ready. I would have waited, no matter how long it took."

She took a deep breath, then continued. "John, if we had kept making love the way it started today, what would have happened tomorrow?" I didn't know where she was going with this, so I just shrugged. "If you gave me the single greatest sexual experience of my life and I came a dozen times, what's next? What happens tomorrow if I'm in the wrong mood or something and I don't have an orgasm? What happens in a month or two when things go back to normal?" "

"If you look at this as a competition, when it isn't perfect, am I going to have to start faking it so you don't worry? We've had sex before when I didn't cum. I still have loved every single time we've ever done it because it was with you. I've even loved it when one of us wasn't in the mood so we just held each other."

I had to admit, I hadn't thought beyond today. "I didn't think about it like that. I just wanted the first time back to be special."

"Anything we did together would have been special. The way you started felt great but I didn't come up here for a bunch of orgasms. I came up here because I was lonely, I missed my husband and wanted him to make love to me. After all the things you've had to deal with, I wanted our first time back to be something that wouldn't remind you of what I did. I wanted to give you something I couldn't have possibly ever given anyone else...me."

"The way we did it together at the end was exactly what I wanted. I just wanted to feel you inside of me and touching me. It felt wonderful for me because it was with you, the only person I've ever loved enough to totally give myself to. It was special, just for us. Later, when we aren't both dealing with the past, we can do whatever we want. I'll do anything you ask me to, except share you with someone else. For now, I just want to take it slowly and for us to get used to each other again. It's what I need. OK?"




After The Fact Ch. 03



I sat quietly, holding her. It was a lot to consider. I couldn't believe I had thought about it so differently than she had. I couldn't be upset by her request because I was the one who insisted she not come home like a servant, trying to make it up to me. She was doing exactly what I insisted, standing up for herself. 

It occurred to me that the resistance to the new counselor, not wanting to tell her about the video and not letting myself get too close since she came home were all tied together. When I first found out about her trip I was angry...no furious. A part of me hated her and wanted to make her suffer.

When I found out that she had been tricked and hadn't done this on purpose, I wasn't angry anymore, but I still didn't want to get closer to her. Even when I invited her home, I never pictured myself being with her or trusting her. I couldn't place it at the time (or maybe I didn't want to face the truth), but she was right. I had been afraid. I was scared that she had acted that way with Megan and the two men because I wasn't enough. 

Before today, when I thought about what she had done, I let my insecurities control me. I felt like a 15 year-old who just got shot down by the prettiest girl in school. Now I was sick and tired of being scared. I refused to live my life afraid of what might happen. It wasn't going to make me happy and it would keep Jenny in a place where she couldn't be happy either. We both deserved better than that.

Now that everything was out in the open, maybe we could finally both be happy. I knew her better than anyone and had no doubt she was being completely honest with me. Before any of this had happened, I considered myself an incredibly lucky man. Very few men find a woman who can completely change their life the way Jenny had done for me. I loved everything about her, especially the fact that she forced me to be a better person than I would have been without her. Things still weren't perfect, but I finally felt like I wanted her home and needed to be her husband again.

As I held her tightly, I reassured her that I did forgive her and would never use what she did to punish her again. We stayed in bed for hours, just touching and talking. 

A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Jenny, what kind of pills did you say you took?" 

"Hello."

"Hello David, this is John, Jenny's husband. I need you to do something for me."

"What?" he sounded suspicious.

I filled him in on what I needed to finish this damn thing off, once and for all. When I finished, it didn't surprise me when he said no.

I wasn't in the mood to take no for an answer. "Well, I have a problem. I have a video of my wife being taken advantage of by three people conspiring to get her drunk and seduce her. I'm pretty sure that sort of thing is frowned on by the authorities. At the very least, it would suck to have the cops pull you out of that fancy law office to question you about it."

He was quiet for several seconds, then spoke with just a hint of a quiver in his voice. "So now you're going to blackmail me?"

I sighed, "No, I'm not. Your behavior Sunday after the party changed my mind about wanting to do something to get back at you. I wanted to point out what I could have done. I'm not going to come after you or threaten you to get what I want, you have my word. However, I think you know that you owe both of us big time and I'd like you to do it because it's the right thing. I'm not sure I could get a regular lawyer to do it. Even if I could, it would mean bringing someone else in on this. I don't want to do that to Jenny."

He took a minute to think about it, and then agreed to all of my requests. 

For the next week, Jenny and I didn't make love. It was almost like the first time had been so awkward that we were afraid to try it again. I know part of me was concerned about making yet another mistake. The weekend was busy and we didn't do more than hold each other and quietly make out. On Tuesday, my package arrived at work. I signed for it and immediately left hoping to bring things to a close. 

When I arrived at the house, I waited at the door for a moment and took a deep breath. It was important that I do everything right. Since I wasn't able to 'win' Jenny back the way I had expected to, it was important that I do this for her. Even if she didn't see this the way that I did and it wasn't as big a deal to her, I needed it for me. My marriage had been torn away from me, with Dani and I suffering terribly as a result. I couldn't just sit by and let myself be a victim (again hearing Bryan's words echoing in my head). 

The door opened, "What are you doing here?" Megan asked suspiciously.

I looked over the woman who had done so much to me and my family. I have never raised my hand against a woman, not even a push. In that first moment, I had an irresistible urge not only to hit her, but to beat the living shit out of her. I steadied myself and the moment passed.

"I'm here because we need to talk." 

She looked at me nervously. "Listen, now isn't a very good time. I was just on my way out."

"Well, I suggest you change your plans. This is for you." I handed her a manila envelope.

She took it and briefly looked at the contents. I took a great deal of satisfaction from the change in her haughty expression. Her hands were shaking as she lowered the papers and looked up at me. "Do you want to come in?" she said quietly.

"You think I want to be alone with you?" I scoffed. "I'm happy right where I am. That is a copy of my lawsuit against you for alienation of affection. If you'll look at the bottom, you will see I have a very high power firm out of New Orleans taking care of me. They recommended I sue you for $10 million."

Her face went from fear to astonishment. "Ten Million Dollars! Are you out of your mind? I couldn't make that much in my life."

"No, but I could get a judgment against you and would get a large portion of your paycheck until you're old and gray. Do I have your undivided attention?" She licked her lips nervously and nodded. "That is a copy of the document, you haven't been officially served. The original is going to be put into a safety deposit box along with the video David made of your activities in the hotel room with Jenny Friday night."

Her mouth literally dropped open. "I guess David never mentioned he videotaped all his private parties." I paused but she didn't respond. "The funny thing is that I might not have had a slam-dunk case if you hadn't decided to walk Jenny over to the side of the room right next to the camera when you lied to her about what was going to happen...several times."

She tried to speak, faltered, and then asked timidly, "What do you want?"

I let her squirm for a few seconds before finishing things. "I want you to tell me the truth about the whole weekend. You don't know what I've already found out, so be careful. If you lie to me, or if I think you're lying to me, you can expect someone to come and serve you with the original and there will be no going back."

It took some time, but she related everything to me. Her story reinforced what Jenny and David had already told me. There were some new details, but nothing I hadn't expected. When she finished, I asked a couple of questions, which she answered fully. When I was satisfied, I turned to leave.

I stopped and turned back to her. "One more thing Megan. I hope you understand that if I find out you've tried to contact Jenny, told anyone else about New Orleans, sent anyone a copy of the video from the Web site or interfered in our lives in any way, we'll be seeing each other in court. Do you understand me?"

She nodded with tears in her eyes. I wanted to rejoice in the pain I caused her, but the truth was that she was a pathetic, broken woman. There wasn't any satisfaction to be had. Part of me wished she was a guy so I could have hit her. Maybe I would have felt a little better. At least I could give Jenny some peace.

On my way home, I called Steve to ask if they could do me a favor and pick up Danielle. I explained the situation and he said he would be glad to. When I made it home, he was already there. I explained to Jenny that I wanted us to have the night free. Although she looked like she suspected something, she didn't object. She gave Danielle a hug and kiss, the watched her and Steve go. 

She turned back to me and said, "OK, what's going on. I know when you're planning something."

I sat her down on the couch and went out to the car. I came back with another envelope, which I handed to her. "Jenny, when you told me how afraid you were about what could happen in the future with someone seeing the video from the party, I decided to call David and ask for his help." Noting her startled look, I quickly continued.

"He found a lawyer in his company he trusted and asked for a couple of favors. They fired off a letter threatening a lawsuit to the Web site, saying that you were drugged and that we were going to inform the police about the incident. Since all we asked was that the video be altered to remove you from it, I guess they figured it was more trouble than it was worth to fight it. This is a letter from them acknowledging the complaint and that they edited you out of the video." 

I briefly looked at the next one, then handed it to her. "This one is an apology from David, expressing his relief that we were able to work things out. He sent the original copy of the tape and included a notarized document that swears there are no other copies. There is nothing else anyone can see you on." 

"This third one is a lawsuit drawn up against Megan. Because of what she had said on the tape, plus the things she told David, she wouldn't have a prayer in court. I just got back from talking to her and said I would put the suit on hold unless she tried contacting you or attempted to interfere in our lives again."

Jenny looked confused. "What do you mean again?"

"Who do you think sent me the URL for the Web site?"

She went from confused to furious. "That's how you found out! That bitch sent it to you? I'll kill her!"

I touched her arm gently and tried to calm her down. "No you won't. What she did was vindictive and petty, but you couldn't have gone on lying to me about it indefinitely. The guilt would have eventually pushed us apart. She did us a favor by making us face it. I just wanted to make sure you'd never have to worry about her interfering again by telling someone else someday. You know she thinks she's in love with you, right?"

Jenny looked stunned, "Are you sure?"

"She admitted everything. She followed you out here from New York, messed with your head about our problems, maneuvered into you cheating on me and made sure she was involved. She was trying to break us up, hoping that she'd be able to make you fall for her. She swears that when you were friends back in New York, you dropped a lot of hints that you felt more deeply for her than just as a friend. Jenny's indignant look was all the proof I needed to see.

"It doesn't matter if it's true, that's the way she perceived it. If it had been a guy friend, you never would have trusted him the way you did with her. Since you never realized how she felt about you, it left you open to her manipulating you. Looking back on it, I never liked her and wished I would have spoken up about it." 

"Anyway, because of the way you were acting Saturday morning, she knew that Friday didn't have the effect on you she had hoped for. She wanted it to happen again. She had it stuck in her head that if you just had a wild enough time, you wouldn't want to settle back into your old life. She knew the details about the party. All the women invited had been warned about the things that would go on. 

"When she got the pills for you, the bridesmaid warned her that they were really strong and couldn't be taken with alcohol. That's when she got the idea. 

"Because of how messed up you were feeling, Megan thought that if you got wasted, she could get to you again, but she knew you wouldn't let your guard down like the night before. She didn't tell you what the pills were and made sure you took a couple before leaving for the party. After a few drinks, she could tell you were out of it and started working on you to get something to happen. She knew they were videotaping, so if you wouldn't tell me when you got back, she would have a way letting me know without getting her hands dirty.

"She waited a while after you came back, hoping you'd calm down and start talking to her again. When she realized that wasn't going to happen, she sent me the email. I'm not sure if it was because she was still hoping something could happen with you, or if it was just out of spite. I told her it was a pretty shitty way to treat someone you claim to love, but I don't know if anything can get through to her."

I took a breath, and then held Jenny's hands. "Look, I just wanted to make sure that you wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. You know what you said about me never looking at you the same again was wrong. I may not have handled this whole thing very well, but I love you. I asked you back because I knew I could never feel this way about anyone else. Maybe I did it too quickly trying to make everyone else happy, but I never doubted things would be great between us again. It's going to take some time, but I will never stop working on this. You are everything to me."

We kissed and held each other tightly. As I felt her tremble, I was glad to have finally been able to take some of this burden off her shoulders. That's when I realized I had forgotten the other surprise.

I pushed her away from me gently. "Jenny, I have something else for you." I pulled the last document out of the envelope and handed it to her. "This is something that should have been taken care of a long time ago."

Jenny eyes brimmed with tears as she began reading the papers. I watched with satisfaction as the tears began flowing freely. She carefully set the papers down and threw herself into my arms, pulling against me so tightly that it hurt. She looked up into my eyes. "Are you sure?"

I smiled, knowing that this one unselfish act would help ease more of her fear and pain than all of the other things I had done combined. "It's official. Now you're not only my wife, you are Danielle's mother. There's no going back, now we have to make everything work."

She turned and leaned back against my chest as she lovingly looked at the adoption papers David's office had drawn up. I caressed her softly as she read, enjoying the feeling of her body against mine. I let her stay there until she was ready to move. She took the papers into the other room and put them somewhere safe. Then she came back and took my hand, leading me up the stairs without a word. There was no need.

When we entered the bedroom, she pulled me to her and kissed me softly. She moved her face from side to side, kissing me hungrily, her lips lightly teasing mine. Jenny pushed me back onto the bed as she kissed her way down to my neck. I let her take charge and enjoyed the sensations she was giving me. She took her time, running her tongue up and down the side of my neck. I could feel goose bumps forming as a shiver ran through my body. She increased the pleasure by making small love bites just under my ear, causing me to slide away from her.

She smiled, knowing how ticklish I was, but refused to let me get away. She sat on top of me and resumed her attack. I could feel her fingers running through my hair as she moved her mouth from the left side of my neck to the right, causing me wonderful discomfort. She slid off me and started unbuttoning my clothing. When I tried to help, she playfully slapped my hand away. I could tell this was her show and I was just along for the ride, which was fine with me.

Once my shirt was off, I could feel her hands undo my belt, then the button of my pants and finally, my zipper. Instead of immediately removing my clothing, I felt her hand reach into my underwear and pull out my already uncomfortably hard cock. She kissed my stomach as her hand slowly stroked me. As her mouth got closer to my prick, I pushed my hips off the bed, hoping to get her to the destination faster. Her head was blocking my view so I closed my eyes; enjoying the wonderful feelings she was giving me. 

When I first felt her tongue touch the end of my prick, I thought I was going to lose it. She knew just how to tease me and make me crazy. I could feel her sliding her mouth over a couple inches of my cock, then she would let it slide out and run her tongue down the length of the shaft. After a minute of agonizing pleasure, she began slowly stroking my prick with her hand while her tongue lightly danced across the head. I looked down at her and saw that she was really enjoying what she was doing. It made me feel good that she wasn't just doing it to please me. It made me want to return the favor.

"Jenny, I'd like to be more than a spectator, if you don't mind." 

Her eyes twinkled and she had a hint of a grin as I saw her shrug off her blouse. She never took her mouth off my prick as she got out of the rest of her clothes. When she was naked, she moved forward, forcing me to slide with her. When I reached the middle of the bed, she spun until her legs straddled my head. I pulled her hips down so I could reach her pussy with my tongue. I leisurely licked up and down her lips, occasionally dipping my tongue deeply into her.

She paused to enjoy what I was doing. At first, I was disappointed, but then I realized how much I wanted to make love to her. Unlike last week, I didn't have any motivation other than the need to feel myself inside her. I wasn't worried about doing something wrong anymore; I finally understood what she had been trying to tell me. I reached both arms around her and pulled her down on top of me. I ran my tongue in circles around her clit, then back around her lips again. I could feel her beginning to tremble. 

When I was sure she was ready, I gently pushed up so she knew I wanted her to move. I sat up and took her into my arms, kissing her. I was going to ask her what she would like to do, but she was way ahead of me.

She laid down on the bed next to me, facing the wall. I slid behind her. She lifted her leg slightly, then reached around and took my cock in her hand and rubbed it against her pussy, searching for the entrance. She was already so wet, it slid in easily. I pushed steadily until it was all the way inside her. I stayed there, locked with her as I softly stroked her breasts with my hand. I had to use the other arm to balance myself. 

She turned her head to me and we kissed, softly without rushing. I let my hand roam across her body, taking time to explore her stomach, then softly massaging her clit, then back to her breasts. She laid her head back on the pillow and I took the opportunity to nibble on her ear. She moved with me, making our motion almost serpentine. I loved the way she could move her body, it was unbelievably erotic. 

We stayed like that, not moving any faster, for so long that I lost track of time. In a strange way, it stopped feeling like sex and started being more like some kind of intense communication. Although we had obviously made love slowly and in that position before, something about it seemed different. The emotions of the last few months heightened everything I was feeling. From her reactions, she was having the same sensations.

It was quiet, other than the moaning and the sounds of our breathing. It added to the illusion that time had somehow stopped. Every once in a while I would stop, pull my prick almost all the way out of her, pause for a few seconds, then push slowly back until I was all the way inside, enjoying both how incredible her pussy felt gripping me and the sounds she made. I couldn't remember her reacting to each different movement I made before. I wasn't sure if it was that I didn't pay enough attention to that part of our lovemaking or it could have just been the way the moment felt.




After The Fact Ch. 03



Her moans were subtly different from usual also. I listened intently, finding that they didn't sound like her normal passionate offerings. It was something closer to a whimper, but without any hint of sadness. I couldn't really put my finger on exactly why, but I loved the sounds and found myself listening to her and forgetting everything else. 

When I began running my left hand over her body again, I wasn't surprised that she was dripping with sweat. I could feel small tremors as my hand made its way from her stomach to her clit. I kissed her shoulder, relishing the taste of her perspiration. When I started to move my hand off her clit, I felt one of her hands stop me. It sat on top of mine, urging me to continue. 

I looked at the clock by the bed and was shocked that we had been locked in that position for almost 45 minutes. We had engaged in marathon sessions before, but not like this. Normally we would change positions often and I'd go down on her every once in a while to make sure she stayed wet enough for us to continue. I could feel that there wouldn't be any problem with that today. 

Everything felt so perfect, I wish we could have stayed like that all day, but I knew it had to end. I tried my best to keep it going longer because everything had been so amazing, but I felt the familiar stirrings in the pit of my stomach 

"Jenny, I can't hold out, I'm going to cum."

She begged me, "Don't move sweetheart, please." 

I laid still while she wrapped her legs around mine. She began moving at an impossible angle, sliding her hips and fucking herself on my cock. It felt amazing and sent me over the edge like I've never felt before or since. I held her as tightly as I could, feeling her heart beating as my cum boiled out inside of her. 

When the first wave hit me, she had another orgasm, this one different from the others. Instead of her usual wild, rapid movements, she froze while I could feel her muscles contract around my prick. She slid her head back against mine and moaned loudly, her fingers digging into my arms. She shook like she had fever chills. I continued to hold her as tightly as I could as my climax subsided. 

When hers had fallen off, my now soft penis slipped out of her. She made an audible moan of protest, then rolled over to face me. She wrapped her top leg around mine and buried her face in my chest. I tried to speak but she moved a hand to my lips. We stayed in that position for a long time before she spoke. 

She slid up so that we were face to face and she looked me intently in the eyes. "That was wonderful, thank you." 

I held her face with both hands as I kissed her. "No Jenny, I'm the one that needs to thank you."

Two months later, Bryan was working in his office when his phone rang. "Hello."

"Bryan, its John. Can I stop by and talk to you a minute?"

"Sure, I have some free time around five. Can you make it then?"

"I'll be there."

When I stepped into his office, I thought about how much things had changed since my first visit. Reconciliation with Jenny, my own sense of how to handle things and the way we refocused our lives. At Bryan's quiet urgings, we started attending his church and found many positives for our lives by helping others. Danielle really enjoyed attending and I loved seeing her discover the kind of things I had been raised with. Things were almost perfect. They always are before the bottom drops out.

Bryan met me at the front door, "John, it's good to see you. Your call sounded urgent, is everything OK?"

"No, it's not. Something terrible happened yesterday."

He ushered me into his office where I sat down on the familiar couch.

"Things have been shaky for a couple of weeks. She has been pushing me away and came up with a bunch of excuses to avoid us having sex. I wanted to talk to her about it, but didn't want to jump to conclusions. Then yesterday I came home early and heard her talking to her sister in the kitchen."

"I was on my way in to say hi when I heard her say 'If that bastard thinks I'm going to keep doing things his way, he's out of his mind.' They talked about a lot of things. I couldn't catch most of it, but what I did hear was devastating. It was obvious she was getting ready for a big confrontation about doing things my way." 

He looked concerned, "That's very distressing. Did you talk to her about it?"

"No, I was too upset." Noting his disapproving look, I tried to defend myself. "I couldn't just barge into the kitchen in front of her sister and start a fight. I went for a drive and when I came back, Nicole was gone. Danielle and Jenny were having dinner, so there was no chance. I just didn't feel up to it when we went to bed. I said I was tired and laid there until she fell asleep. Then I went to the living room and sat there for most of the night."

"Things have been so great between us for the last couple of months; I can't believe she feels that way. I don't know what to do. Today she called me at work and told me we had to talk. She said it was something that couldn't wait and she wanted to do it with just the two of us, so she was sending Dani over to Nicole's. She asked me to meet her at the hotel bar where we used to go dancing."

Bryan and I talked for a while, but didn't really accomplish much. I really wasn't expecting it to. I just needed to talk to someone before I went to meet Jenny. 

That brings me back to where I started all this. Drinking alone at the bar. Waiting for what I am afraid could be the end of my marriage. After going through so much and fighting our way back, I couldn't believe it might end like this. After hearing some of what she said to her sister, I didn't know if she even wanted to continue working on things. Even if she did, I took her back under the conditions we agreed to and it had only been four months. If she was going to demand I drop everything, it was asking too much. It would take a lot longer than that to build back the kind of trust we used to have. If she refuses to see reason, I'll have no choice but to end it.

####

Seven Months Later...

I think about that night all the time lately. It showed me how much was still wrong between Jenny and I more clearly than any lecture from William, Bryan, or any of my friends could have done. I guess from the beginning of this, I've made a number of misjudgments about both Jenny and myself. My friends saw some of the mistakes and tried to subtly help me find my way. I'm lucky to have people that care about me enough to try, even though I didn't always like what they said. 

As I walk down the hallway toward the group waiting for me, I don't have much time to think about it right now. However, it seems so appropriate now that I remember that lesson and what I learned...

...I saw Jenny walk through the door and watched as men stopped and turned to see the beautiful, radiant, well-dressed woman gliding through the crowd. My stomach turned as I thought about the possibility that things were going to again go bad. She walked up and kissed me on the cheek. With a serious expression, she asked to move to a booth in the corner. 

When we sat down, the waitress asked if we would like anything. I offered to buy her a drink, but she just asked for water. I took the opportunity to order my second long-island, feeling the need for something to help deaden my senses. After letting the waitress get out of earshot, Jenny spoke. 

"John, I'm sorry if I've been acting strangely lately. Something has happened that is going to change things between us."

I was too worked up to listen to her, so I interrupted. "Look I know what's going on, I heard you and Nicole talking." She gave me a surprised look. It almost seemed like she was disappointed.

"I don't know what caused this," I continued, "But I'm not going to put up with it. If you think you're going to force me into changing things with threats, you're mistaken. I love you, but I'm not going to be a doormat." 

"Really?" Jenny looked at me with something that almost seemed like mirth. It was beyond my comprehension how she could think there was anything funny about the situation. 

Jenny scolded me, "So you were eavesdropping? What happened to the rule about us talking things out and never going to bed angry?" She had to have seen how upset I was and suddenly her expression softened. 

"After all, I can't have my baby's father not trusting me."

I sat there for a second stunned, thinking I had imagined what she just said. "Did you say...?"

Jenny couldn't hide her smile anymore. "Yes you goof. You're going to be a father again. I'm pregnant."

I didn't have time to think about anything except how relieved I was that I had been so wrong about tonight. I leaned over the table and grabbed her face to kiss her. The position was awkward and I realized I was pulling her into the table. I quickly got up and urged her out of the booth so I could hold her while I tried to take in the incredible change in events. We held each other without saying anything for a long time. 

Finally, I collected myself enough to talk. "When did you find out?"

Jen raised her hand to touch my cheek like she did so often. I always wondered if it was her favorite gesture because she liked it or if it was because she knew I loved it. "Just today. The doctor said he's sure that it happened the day you surprised me with the adoption papers. The way you made love to me was something I'll never forget. I'm so glad that our child was created that way."

I didn't know what else to say. There were so many things running through my head, it was like my system just shut down. Finally, I was able to get my head around everything. It occurred to me that unlike my experience with Danielle's mother, I was actually excited from the first second she told me. I couldn't believe how much different it felt than before, when Katie told me the same thing. 

However, I wasn't ready to let her off the hook just yet. "I can't believe you screwed with me like that. You scared the hell out of me."

She smiled, "I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Why didn't you just ask me what was going on?"

I was so embarrassed; I must have looked like a complete moron. "It happened so fast that I didn't have time to think. What the hell were you talking about yesterday? You said that you wouldn't let me run your life anymore."

"No, I said I wouldn't let him run my life...my boss. He was upset because I've already taken so much time off from work in the last few months. He warned me that he'd have to let me go if anything else happened. Well, I'd say this is a pretty big something and I'm not going to drag myself into work when I'm not feeling well just to keep him happy. Haven't you noticed how sick I've been the last couple of weeks?"

By this time, I knew there was no hiding from how badly I had misjudged everything. "I did, but I thought it was because you were avoiding me."

Jenny couldn't suppress a laugh, "You thought I'd make myself sick to avoid you?" I think she noticed how uncomfortable I was and finally stopped picking on me. "I thought something might be up so I took a pregnancy test. It came up positive, but I wanted to check with the doctor before I told you. I thought I was going to go crazy having to wait until today to find out, so I decided to tell Nicole. I was talking to her about it when you evidently decided to play detective. I guess I should have told you first but I just wanted to be sure. You've had enough bad surprises from me; I wanted to be able to give you a good one. Forgive me?"

Now it was my turn to smile. "Well, at this point I wake up every morning assuming I'll have to forgive you for something anyway, so I'll just add this to the list."

She tried to look indignant, but failed miserably as she punched me in the arm. "Just remember our list of rules mister. When I get fat and cranky, I expect you to attend to me properly."

"It will be my pleasure, milady," I said with a mock bow.

I heard a voice over my shoulder, "Can we join the party now?" When I turned, I was surprised to see Steve and Sharon. Pushing Steve aside, Sharon grabbed me in a crushing hug. I really didn't know she was that strong. She kissed me on the cheek and said, "I am so happy for you two."

Steve waited, looking impatient. When she moved on to Jenny he stepped in to shake my hand and even gave me a quick hug. "In case you're wondering, Jenny invited us." 

I turned back to my wife, who looked suddenly somber. "I called them after I talked to you. I didn't think you'd mind, and I wanted them to be able to share this with us. If it hadn't been for their help, I don't know if you would have given me another chance." 

I understood how sensitive she was about what she had done and how close we came to not working it out. I didn't want anything to spoil this mood so I put my arm around her shoulder reassuringly. 

She smiled again, "Steve told me how he had to threaten to kick your ass to make you call Bryan." I grinned as I recalled my reluctance to face things when all of this started.

"That's right," Steve beamed, "I take full credit for fixing you two. As a reward for my infinite patience and foresight, I should be declared Godfather to my namesake."

"Namesake?" I laughed heartily, "I'm sorry, under no circumstance will I name my child shit-head." I had to duck quickly to avoid the incoming punch.

About an hour later, we finally said goodnight to our two friends. Jenny led me to the room she had reserved earlier in the day. 

Despite her enthusiasm, Jenny still seemed concerned. "John, please tell me that this is what you want. I know that we still have a long way to go for things to be right between us but I'm so happy about this. It's really important to me that you're happy about it too."

I didn't hesitate, "This is incredible news. I wish we didn't have the other stuff to work through, but I'm very happy. I can't wait until we get to tell Dani she's going to be a big sister. She's going to be thrilled out of her mind."

Jenny's mood brightened. "Well, that's for tomorrow. We only have a few months until you're not going to want to have sex with me, so we better start doing it as much as we can now."

"I'm not ever going to complain about more sex Jen, but don't worry, I won't want to be cutting back any time in the near future. Remember, this isn't my first time through this. I know exactly how beautiful you're going to be."

We stopped talking as I kissed her softly, then began working my way to her neck. I found that everything seemed a little different with the knowledge that she was carrying my child. We made love tenderly; trying to do it just like the day I surprised her with the adoption papers. When we finished, I held her tightly, knowing how drastically things had changed for me in just a few hours. 

After several minutes, I broke the silence. "Since I have your commitment to having sex a lot, I think we should consider starting right away." I guided her hand to my prick, which was already getting hard. "Do you have any requests?"

She smiled mischievously, "Well, I was checking out the snack bar while you were saying goodbye to Steve. I found something really interesting." She rolled over and grabbed her purse. 

As she rolled back, I laughed loudly as I saw her triumphantly holding a large, red and white striped candy cane. It was wrapped with a yellow ribbon that was manipulated into the shape of a yellow rose like the ones I still liked to surprise her with.

"OK, that's one I never thought of..."

...Now those memories help me to appreciate how truly blessed I am. Jenny had a flawless pregnancy, which I'm thankful for. I savored every moment of that time with her. It had been so different with Katie, I was grateful for another chance to experience it the right way. Dani was a treasure. She read to Jenny's tummy often, making sure to kiss her there so when the baby was born it would know how much she loved it. 

Pushing the memories from my mind, I walked through the doors into the waiting area to see our friends and Jenny's whole family waiting impatiently. I was torn between wanting to be a smart-ass and my desire to scream with joy. I finally settled for quiet exuberance. "It's a boy!" I forced myself to say without yelling. 

After the celebration died down a little, I finally got to enjoy the moment I had been looking forward to for months. "Dani, do you want to come meet your little brother?"

Authors Note: In response to the people who offered constructive criticism, I made a change to the end of the chapter. I changed it when a very wise editor helped me figure out a way to keep the point of view in the first person through the end. Thanks to Jacuzzigal and Dynamite Jack for giving me a hand in updating the story to hopefully make it better for the reader.

I also want to say a quick thank you to all the very nice comments I've received on the story. I know it's not perfect, but I'm blown away by how much people have enjoyed it. Please remember, if you want to post anonymous, you are still welcome to email me about your take on the story. There have been a number of interesting comments I would have liked to answer, but didn't have an avenue to do so.

....S-Des



After The Fact



She had a mischievous look in her eyes and said, "No way, I'm in charge now." She just moved further forward and prevented me from getting what I wanted. Jenny kept up her teasing for several long minutes, her coy smile letting me know that she was enjoying my torture. Finally she took pity on me and pulled my head forward to kiss me as she slid down hard and drove me all the way into her. She leaned back again and drove herself down onto me faster and harder, causing me to believe she was heading for another orgasm. There was no doubt I was almost there.

I tried to think of baseball, politics, or anything else that would keep me from finishing and ending the incredible moment. It wasn't easy, she had a way of rotating her hips as she was also raising and lowering them that felt like nothing I'd ever experienced. Suddenly she pushed down hard on me and leaned further back. She squeezed my hands tightly as I felt her whole body shake in a powerful orgasm. She made a noise that was somewhere between a moan and a squeal. I couldn't suppress a smile. It seemed like there wasn't anything about her that I didn't find enchanting.

After taking a second to bask in her pleasure, she turned her attention back to me. She got a determined look in her eye and started raising herself almost the entire length of my shaft, then dropping down hard. It started slowly, but gained speed on every thrust. After only another minute I warned her that I was close.

"It's all right. I want you to cum inside me."

Panic set in because I knew what a huge risk that could be. "No, I can't," I cried, putting my hands on her hips, and trying to move her off of me.

She looked into my eyes and saw that I was serious. I had already told her how Dani had been completely unexpected and she must have realized why I was alarmed. Without another word she moved off of me, slid down and took me deeply into her mouth. She furiously pumped my cock with her fist as she kept sucking on the head. 

I arched my back as my hands clenched so hard I could feel my nails dig into my own skin. She had me feeling as aroused as I could ever remember. Her mouth felt incredible. "I'm cumming Jen," I groaned.

She turned her eyes up to meet mine and let another couple of inches slide into her mouth. As I came, she never moved, swallowing deeply several times. When she knew I was through, she slid up my body, dragging her breasts against my skin. She kissed me and tried to slide her tongue into my mouth. I hesitated because I had never kissed a girl right after that before. 

After a moment I decided my concerns were irrelevant, so kissed her back. She kept moving her hips back and forth, dragging the lips of her pussy against my sensitive shaft while kissing me. Abruptly she pulled her knees to either side of my chest, sat back on my stomach and put her hands on her hips. 

"So was it good for you?"

I laughed so hard I almost hurt myself.

*****

We dated exclusively and very seriously from that night on. A few weeks later I anxiously got my daughter ready as I prepared her to meet Jenny. As much as I liked her, there was no future for us if she and Dani didn't take to each other quickly. My daughter was my life and I made no secret of it. 

Thankfully, it wasn't an issue. It took about 5 minutes to see how well they clicked. Jenny loved to run her fingers through Danielle's hair while they talked. I could tell that my daughter really enjoyed her affection and the way Jenny read to her like she had been doing it all her life. Before the night was over, she even showed Danielle how a ballerina danced. 

It was absolutely perfect. I was pretty sure that Jenny was already in love with me and I had no doubt that I felt the same for her. The way she acted toward Danielle just made me feel more strongly about her. At the end of the night she said her goodbyes and left with a hug for each of us. I took Dani upstairs to get ready for bed. When I finished reading her bedtime story, she got a very serious look on her face. 

"Daddy, are you going to marry Jenny?"

I smiled and said, "I hope so sweetie."

"Good!" she replied enthusiastically.

Life can be wonderful . . . 

*****

It was four months later when I got the call. It was Katie and I could tell she'd been crying. She just said, "We need to talk."

I didn't like her tone, so I was out of the house before thinking to ask if she meant immediately.

When I arrived at her house, she informed me that she hadn't been feeling well. She went to her doctor and the tests came back that morning. Pituitary cancer, advanced stages, no cure. 

I was speechless. Over the last year, things had gotten somewhat better between us. She and I stopped arguing so much, which helped us stop questioning each other's motives. Once that happened, the hatred of our past faded. Now it was easy to put my negative feelings aside, realizing my daughter was going to lose her mother. 

"I don't know what to say," I stammered. "I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, you need to take Danielle now. I'm going to be too sick to take care of her very soon and she needs to get used to being with you all the time. She's all I'm leaving behind and I want her to be happy."

I could only nod my head as the tears welled up in my eyes.

3 Months later she was gone. Danielle was devastated. She couldn't understand why and I couldn't explain it. It took months to see her return to her old self. I felt so helpless.

Jenny understood the situation with Danielle and spent as much time with her as possible. They grew very close and I could tell there was a bond growing that eased my daughter's pain. I don't know how I would have made it through that time without her help.

I waited six months to propose, out of respect to my daughter. I was afraid she would think I was trying to replace her mom. When I finally was sure the time was right, I asked Dani first, to make sure there wouldn't be any problems. She seemed very happy about it, anxious for something positive to look forward to. 

The first thing to do was get the ring. I know in this day and age men are supposed to let the woman pick out the ring so she can get exactly what she wants, but I'm old-fashioned. I wanted to surprise her with a ring and I wanted it to be one she would love. 

I found out early in the relationship that Jenny had a thing for yellow roses. She couldn't get enough of them. Over the months I surprised her with bouquets, figurines and even a professional painting done by a friend. Surprisingly she never seemed to tire of the gesture. It became kind of a game between us for me to find new ways to surprise her.

I talked to an artist I had worked with in the past and had him put together a design that we both thought was exceptional. I had the number for a jeweler who owned his own shop. When he got married a couple years earlier, I had to step in at the last second and fix a mess another company had created. He was so happy that he promised to do anything he could to make it up to me. After walking me through my options, he agreed to give me a break on the price so I could afford it. He beat me up badly for future favors, but it all worked out. 

Then next thing was to work out a plan. I thought about a public proposal, but couldn't figure out how to do it right, so decided it would be best to do it in private. I wanted to somehow include Danielle. I had read that kids sometimes feel helpless when their parents remarry. Since they have no say in the decision, they can resent the spouse. I decided to ask her to help, both because I thought Jenny would love it and to make her feel more involved. She was very excited to be my co-conspirator.

I took Jenny out to see a concert pianist who was touring the states. He was in town for one night only and I was able to score very good seats. It was an amazing experience for both of us. We came home to find a candlelight dinner consisting of smoked salmon from her favorite seafood restaurant and a great variety of side dishes all hand-picked by an excellent local chef. 

Jenny seemed thrilled with everything. We ate and talked until we couldn't finish another bite. I excused myself for a moment and found Danielle upstairs with Tammy, the next-door neighbor's daughter who watched her for me sometimes. I told her it was time for Dani to help me, so she could go home. Tammy smiled happily and wished me luck. I took a very excited Danielle downstairs to the dinning room. 

Jenny jumped up to hug her and began telling her the details of our wonderful night. I distracted her for a moment and winked at Dani. She pulled the small box out of her pocket. 

"Jenny," she said shyly, "Me and my daddy wanted you to have this." 

I beamed with pride. She said it perfectly; just the way we had rehearsed it.

Jenny's hands shook as she took the box from Danielle's hand. She opened it and found a ring that someone like me shouldn't have been able to afford. An ornately crafted silver band with a stalk running all the way around and opening into a beautiful yellow rose (with the biggest diamond I could afford on top). I took it from the case and put it on her finger.

"Jenny, would you marry me?"

She cried "Yes!" as she hugged me. Danielle grabbed her leg, demanding not to be left out. 

I was so happy everything went as planned. I was even happier I had the foresight to set up a video camera on top of the fridge to catch the whole thing. 

*****

We had an amazing honeymoon. Her mom watched Dani for a week while we flew to New York. She introduced me to all her old friends and made me feel like royalty. We stayed in a great hotel and spent every night having insanely passionate sex. By the end of the week I was actually glad to go home where I could get a little rest. She was insatiable.

When we got back we settled into a great rhythm. Jenny got a job as a secretary for a construction company. It wasn't her dream job, but paid well and the hours allowed her the freedom to spend a lot of time with both Dani and me. Everything just flowed without either of us having to work at it. We shared many interests, so it was rare that either of us had to talk the other into doing anything. 

We set up special dates so each of us could try new things. The rules were the person owning the date got to do whatever they wanted and the other had to go along with no complaints. If it wasn't enjoyable you didn't have to repeat it, but there was no turning one down without at least trying. Her dates were very interesting. She knew how to have a great time doing something unexpected. I'm not sure how much she liked my outings, but she was always a good sport and made me feel like it was important to her. 

The sex was amazing. I never dreamed of finding a woman who could shock me in the bedroom. There was almost nothing I could think of that she wasn't eager to try. My favorite was the candy cane incident.

When I was a kid, I read a story in Penthouse about a guy using a candy cane for foreplay with his girlfriend. Afterwards he went down on her and he claimed it was the most amazing oral sex she ever had. 

I surprised Jenny one night with a regular sized candy cane (about 6" long and kind of thin). We laid down some towels to keep from making our bed sticky forever. After teasing her by running it over the lips of her pussy for several minutes, I gently pushed it inside her. I began a soft fucking motion with it as I licked and nibbled her thighs, first one, than the other. After working her into a frenzy, I finally obeyed her pleas and began licking her lightly from her clit down to the edge of the treat that I was still fucking her with. 

As her excitement continued to build, I decided to tease her just a little more. I pulled it out and showed the mostly melted candy cane to her while luxuriously licking one side. Then I gently pushed it into her mouth and let her enjoy it while I worked on her now remarkably sweet pussy. 

The sensation was remarkable because instead of trying to find ways to please her, I was licking and sucking wildly because it was so enjoyable for me. It probably wasn't the best technique I'd ever used, but the effect was undeniable. She had a huge orgasm and told me she'd find a way to pay me back. After not talking about it again for a couple of months, the topic resurfaced on Christmas. She gave me her nastiest smile as I opened one of her presents...a 10 inch long candy cane that was about an inch wide. 

We did things like that constantly for close to two years. About two months before our second anniversary, something changed. I don't know why, but we fell out of rhythm. When I was in the mood, she wasn't and vice versa. If I was having a good day, she had a bad one at work. When she wanted to go out, I was tired. It wasn't that we fought or had severe drama; we just couldn't get on the same page. 

Being a guy, I guess I underestimated the impact on her. To me it was an inconvenience, but I think she felt it more deeply. She might have even feared we were growing apart, but she wouldn't say anything to me. When we did try to talk about it, nothing seemed to get settled. We both tried to fix the problems, but things always seemed to get in the way. 

A few weeks before our anniversary, she got a call from her friend Megan. She was one of Jenny's NY friends I met during our honeymoon. Megan moved to town after our first anniversary and they resumed their close friendship immediately. I never really cared for her because she gave me the impression I wasn't welcome when they went out. It wasn't bad enough to complain about to Jenny, but we didn't seem to click at all. I took it as an opportunity to let Jenny have a slice of her old life. She could go do things with Megan, allowing me to have some time to do things just for me. I also liked the chance to have some alone time with Danielle. She was so close with her step-mother that I welcomed the chance to keep part of her just to myself. 

One of Megan's oldest girlfriends was getting married in New Orleans. Since she didn't have a guy to take she asked if Jenny would like to go. I didn't have any objection, so they planned a trip leaving late Thursday night and coming back late Sunday night. After she left I was surprised at how empty the bed felt for the first time in two years. 

Jenny didn't call me all weekend, which seemed unusual for her. I wasn't too worried about it since I knew there was a lot going on with the rehearsal dinner, bachelorette party, then the wedding Sunday afternoon. There were also a lot of shopping things planned for the women who hadn't been together in years. I thought about calling her to say hi, but didn't want to interrupt.

I found that three days without her made a big impact on me. I really missed her, despite the problems of the last couple of months. In the three years I had known her, we had done everything together. By Sunday morning I couldn't wait to see her. I resolved to find a way to fix things immediately no matter what. Even though I wasn't worried about our rough patch, I felt like it was eating at her. I swore to make it my priority to alleviate her concerns. Next to Danielle, I loved Jenny more than anything and just wanted her to be happy. 

I got a message from her early Sunday afternoon telling me she was catching an earlier flight. Instead of getting home around midnight, she would be back at 7:00. I didn't get to talk to her because the call came in while Dani and I were out. We decided to have a big surprise for her, decorating the whole living room and getting her a cake. I left Dani with the sitter and headed to the airport. Jen called me on my cell to tell me she'd be waiting for me in front of one of the terminals.

When I saw her out front waiting, I had to do a double take. She looked terrible. Her hair was a mess, she looked tired and her eyes were red and swollen like she'd been crying. I stopped the car and jumped out, very concerned. She ran to me without saying a word and hugged me tightly, starting to cry again.

I gently pushed her back to look at her face. "Jenny, what's wrong?"

She paused and looked down. After a moment she muttered "Megan and I had a terrible fight. I came back by myself. The whole weekend was a disaster." 

I could see her shoulder's heave as she tried to stop crying. I knew we had to get out of there before I got towed, so I steered her to the car. I threw her bags into the back and got on the highway. She leaned against me and I could still feel her crying softly on my shoulder. I made it to a fast food place and pulled into the parking lot.

I turned her toward me, "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"No, I don't want to talk about it. Please, can we just go home?"

I wanted to help, but didn't want to push her to talk if she wasn't ready. "Well, we can if you want, but Dani's waiting for us with a surprise for you. If you show up like this I'm afraid she's going to be really disappointed. We worked on it all day for you."

She looked at me with an expression I couldn't read. Without another word she put her arms around my neck and pulled me tightly against her. "Can we just sit here a minute? I missed you so much. I promise to get it together so we can go. I just want you to hold me. I love you more than anything." She kissed my cheek softly and rested her head against my shoulder again.

I was sad her homecoming had been ruined, but to her credit she did compose herself. We went home and she was properly 'surprised' by the work Dani and I had done. All three of us spent the rest of the night hugging and talking. It was subdued, but we were so glad to have her back it didn't matter. 

After we put Danielle to bed, I hoped to find a way to get Jenny in a better mood, but she was exhausted. She went straight to bed and asked me to come hold her. The fight with Megan must have been really bad. As she fell asleep in my arms I felt like a kink had again been thrown into my plan to fix our problems. 

It turned out to be just the opposite. Jenny was really down all week, but bounced back the next weekend. I hadn't pushed her for sex because she was so unhappy, but she knocked my socks off Saturday night with the most amazing sex I'd seen in months. She was so energized and eager to please me that I felt like I wasn't doing my part. 

That seemed to be the end of our troubles. For the next six months things were great and she was the perfect wife. For my part I tried my best to make her feel as loved as she was making me feel. Our caring about each other put all the troubles behind us and we regained our rhythm.

*****

So now you're saying to yourself, "Everything's perfect, how'd you get here?" Well, that's easy. I'm a pervert.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not into anything gross. I don't get off on looking at sick or twisted pictures. It's just that despite the fact I have a wonderful wife who fulfills every sexual fantasy I ever had, I like checking out adult Web sites from time to time. It's harmless and I figured it was better to occasionally get off looking at a pretty girl than constructing some fantasy about someone I knew. Fantasies seemed more like doing something that could undermine my marriage. 

I don't do it a lot, maybe a few times a month. My favorites are the amateur sites. Nothing turns me off more than a professional stripper with tens of thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery pretending to enjoy herself. I'll take the women whose boyfriends talk them into taping their sex, Girls Gone Wild, or my favorite, the bachelorette party videos. You've seen them; drunken girls deciding to jump a bunch of male strippers, even though it's being taped and the room is full of people. It's so depraved it's impossible to stop watching.

One Friday night almost six months after our second anniversary, Jenny took Dani out to see a movie. While they were gone, I was goofing around on my computer. I checked my email and saw a new message. It simply said "The best party video ever!" At first I thought it was spam, but the address was from a hotmail account, so I opened the message. 




After The Fact



Instead of a link or advertisement, it said "John, I know you like these. This is one you'll never believe!" and had a URL. I was perplexed. Who the hell would send me a message like that? They knew me well enough to know what Web sites I enjoyed, but I had no idea who the address belonged to. I decided to check it out.

A site popped up that advertised great videos of women fucking strippers. There were 3 sample videos. I loaded the first and it was pretty typical. The second was a little hotter, but still hadn't lived up to the praise. Then I clicked on the third. I waited for 5, maybe 10 seconds and then the video opened. It was about 45 seconds long. At about the 20 second mark, it focused on an attractive male stripper who looked to be college aged. He was banging some impossibly hot brunette from behind while she was going down on the woman in front of her. 

"Son of a bitch!" I said, shocked. The girl getting her pussy eaten was Jenny's friend, Megan. She was beautiful with long blonde hair and nice medium sized tits. I couldn't see anything else because the woman in front of her was in the way. 

"Damn," I muttered. I wasn't sure if I should enjoy this or not. Although she was beautiful, I didn't want to see one of Jenny's friends naked. That kind of image could lead to bad things. On the other hand, it was impossible to tear my eyes from the screen; the scene was incredibly erotic.

Suddenly the cameraman walked to the side of the threesome and the bottom fell out of my world. "Jenny!" I cried as I felt like I was going to pass out.

Life is a hateful, vindictive bitch...

I had never dreamed of dealing with so many emotions at once. I was angry, jealous and crushed along with a hundred other emotions I couldn't even identify. I had to be sure, so I clicked on the link again. It came up the same as before. When the cameraman moved to the side, there was my wife, plain as day, going down on her friend while being fucked by a stripper...in front of 40 or 50 women and on video.

With shaking hands, I whipped out my credit card and bought a 30-day trial. It took a minute to find the full video, but I did. I recognized the room from the sample. I looked on feeling utterly sick to my stomach as I watched. The camera panned around to a lot of different people getting naked or fucking, but I didn't see Jen or Megan. Finally I did catch a glimpse of Jenny sitting at a table, shooing away the stripper with an embarrassed look on her face. 

When she appeared again 5 minutes later, she was laying on the stage and Megan had her tongue stuck in my wife's pussy. Jenny was wearing a skirt and her panties were still on. Megan was holding the material to the side with one hand while moving her face up and down, pushing her tongue in and out of my wife's sensitive lips. 

Jen had her blouse partially unbuttoned and was massaging her breasts as she was obviously closing in on an orgasm. I had learned since our first night together that oral sex was her weakness. I could make her orgasm virtually every time, as long as I was patient and built her up to it.

As Megan kept working on her, the same stripper who I saw fucking her in the sample walked over and casually began hitting Jenny on the lips with his cock. I noticed with some dismay that it was pretty big. It wasn't porn star big, but definitely seemed bigger than me. 

When she didn't take him into her mouth right away, in some bizarre denial of reality I hoped she would get up and walk away. Her hips began bouncing in the throes of an orgasm. Megan kept working her over as she basked in the sensation. 

I saw the stripper say something to her. I couldn't hear it over the music, but it didn't matter because it was easy to read his lips. I was utterly shocked to see him mouth "Come on Jenny, please." 

Holy Fuck! How the hell did he know her name? a voice screamed in my head.

Seconds later she turned to the stripper and willingly took his cock into her mouth. After a few seconds of sucking on him, he grabbed the back of her head and started face fucking her. The camera stopped jumping around, I guess because that was the hottest action in the room. 

Jenny started moving her hips wildly again. I couldn't believe she was having another orgasm so quickly. This time Megan stopped and said something to the stripper who got up and moved beside her. She inched aside so he could get between Jenny's legs. Megan took his cock in her hand and rubbed it up and down my wife's slit. He got the tip in and then waited. She said something to Jenny who shook her head 'no'. Megan leaned closer and talked insistently, then began French-kissing her and massaging her breasts. Jenny put her legs behind him and pulled him in . . . just like she did with me.

He moved his hips forward, driving himself inside her as she reacted with obvious pleasure. The stripper began moving his hips from side to side, trying to find the sensitive areas of her sex. When she arched up off the stage, putting her hands over her face in ecstasy, he pulled out of her and quickly turned her over. 

Once Jenny was on her knees, Megan slid down in front of her and pulled my wife's face to her exposed pussy. When Jenny hesitated, the stripper drove into her harder, causing her head to roll forward as the pleasure seemed to increase. Finally, she lowered her face to Megan's crotch obediently. The guy was now crashing into her very hard, forcing her to grab Megan's hips to steady herself. The action continued for another twenty seconds, then the camera cut away to another couple. I fast forwarded through the rest, but Jenny wasn't on the video after that. 

When it ended, I checked to make sure there were no other videos of the party and then tried to get myself together. I looked at the file; it was listed by the date, 10/23/04. I looked at the calendar on my computer and confirmed that it was the weekend that Jenny went to New Orleans. I sat there for at least fifteen minutes staring at the screen. I had never felt so lost in my life. 

I heard a car in the driveway and jumped up to look through the window. It was the girls. Watching Jenny step from the car laughing without a care in the world hit my like a punch to the gut. Anger replaced my sadness and my entire body trembled from the adrenaline. Quickly I went back to the computer and started the video again. I moved it forward to about where I saw the action and was rewarded with just the right moment. I hit pause and went to the living room. 

They walked in laughing. Danielle ran to me and jumped into my arms. I held her tightly, knowing I was about to shatter her world, possibly forever. She sensed something because she immediately asked me what was wrong. I couldn't look at her face as I firmly told her to go upstairs to her room and close the door. She looked upset, but obeyed me.

Jenny was very alarmed. She probably thought there had been a death in the family or something. I didn't say a word, but walked back into the study. 

She followed me demanding, "John, will you tell me what the hell is going on?"

When we reached the computer, I grabbed her shoulders with both hands and turned her to face it. I took no pleasure in seeing all the color drain from her face as she saw a perfect still of herself being fucked from behind while going down on Megan. There was no response from her for several moments. I saw her shoulders move several times before I was able to hear her sob. 

Quietly she spoke without turning, "John, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

I tried to keep my rapidly building anger in check. "Was it just the one time?" Already knowing the answer.

She looked at the floor. "No, it happened the night before. Then again at the party." 

"With Megan and the stripper?"

She nodded, her eyes never leaving her feet.

"What about the next day? Whose bed did you sleep in after the party?" It was only a guess, but I was pretty sure it was a good one. She didn't answer me, she just cried louder. 

"Well that's just fucking great. I bring you into my house, tell my daughter to trust you and you turn out to be...this?" I hissed, pointing at the screen. "Was it good? Did you cum better than with me? How did that big dick feel poking up inside you? Was it worth the end of our marriage?"

She cried louder and still hadn't looked at me. It didn't matter. My anger was out of control and I wasn't in the mood to feel pity.

"This is how it's going to be, you good for nothing slut. You have five minutes to have your stuff packed and be out of my house. When I get to five minutes and one-second, if you're not out the door, this video gets sent to your family, then your friends and then your work. Once you leave, you are never to contact me again. Our lawyers can do the talking."

I could see her flinch as she took each word like it was a punch. 

I heard her say between sobs, "What about Danielle?"

That broke the dam. "Don't you ever say my daughter's name again, you whore!" I yelled. "When you are gone, I'll tell her as nicely as possible what a piece of trash you really are. You chose your party friends over us. You are never to contact her again or I'll get a restraining order and have you arrested."

She finally turned to me with a look of utter pain, "You can't do that! She's like my own daughter. I've helped raise her."

I had already thought of that. "Well since we never got around to getting adoption papers drawn up, you have no fucking rights at all. I guess you weren't thinking about her when you had your tongue stuck up Megan's pussy." I saw her cringe at the reference. I knew I was too loud, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Please don't do this to me, to us. I'm begging you to give me a chance to explain. It's been six months and I've done everything I could to make it up to you."

I had finally reached the point where I couldn't stay that angry and started to calm down a little, which let me regain my control. "So because you lied to me for six months and I didn't find out until now, I'm supposed to give you a pass? How do I know how often it's happened? Why would I trust a lying whore in the first place? Even if I did trust you, I don't give a shit. You fucked them, you made your choice." Then I began counting out loud, "One, two, three, four..."

"Please John, I'm so sorry. I'll do anything for another chance. Please don't do this."

"Ten, eleven, twelve..." I started to think she wasn't taking me seriously, so I sat down at the computer and pulled up my email account. I addressed a new message to both of her parents and sister Nicole, then typed, 'The truth about your daughter,' into the message field. Finally I clicked on . I didn't even look over my shoulder as I continued counting, "twenty-two, twenty-three..."

With a frustrated cry she fled the room and ran upstairs. I waited a minute to stop myself from falling apart and then followed. I stopped at the top of the stairs, just out of sight and listened to her frantic packing. I checked my watch and saw the time to be around three minutes. Then I heard something that made my heart break.

"Jenny, where are you going?" Danielle had come out of her room to see her step-mother packing in a panic while crying loudly.

"I'm sorry baby; I have to go to Aunt Nicole's house for a while. I did something very bad and hurt your daddy. It's all my fault, not his."

I thought I had reached the limit of the pain I could feel until I heard Dani say through her tears. "Did you say you're sorry? If you say you're sorry he has to forgive you. Please don't go."

My anger drained completely as I sank to the floor and cried openly. I forgot all about the watch. 

Jenny spoke again, "It's too late for that. I'm so sorry, sometimes grown-ups do things that are so bad that saying 'I'm sorry' isn't enough."

Dani wasn't giving up, "But I don't want you to go. Don't you love me anymore?"

I was actually kind of proud when Jenny dropped her suitcase and stopped crying for a moment, her only concern being for Danielle. "I love you more than anything. I love you this much," and moved her arms all the way apart. "I have to go now, but you be brave. Maybe someday your daddy can forgive me. But you always remember that this is my fault, not his. He loves you more than anything. I wish I could explain, but I have to go."

I couldn't take it anymore so I stumbled to the bottom of the stairs and called out, "Four forty-one, forty-two, forty-three..." 

I heard more rushed talking, then the sound of someone coming down the stairs fast. Jenny passed me, then paused and turned. "John, I don't blame you for this. I know I deserve it. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'll love you forever."

"Four fifty-five, fifty-six..." She turned and lunged for the door. When it closed behind her, I went up the stairs to comfort my little angel. I couldn't even focus on the pain I was feeling, I knew what I had done had ripped the heart right out of my little girl. My anger at Jenny gave me no cure for my self-recrimination. I ran up the stairs to try and fix the unfixable.

Life has spiraled beyond repair...



After The Faire



It had been an interesting renfaire...they usually were, but this had been even more so.

I hadn't even been sure I'd be going. My sensei, Marrok Daniel, and his girlfriend, Nisa Mal, had had a huge fight, and had stopped talking. I wasn't going to go if she didn't...since his wife would've been going in her place, and I hate dealing with her. 

But Nisa came up from her home in Missouri to see him, and they talked some things out, so it worked out that I was able to go. I don't drive, so I rode down with Marrok and Nisa, and another of Marrok's male students. The whole way there, every other joke made was sexual in nature. I didn't really think much of that, since they hadn't been together for a few weeks, and were pretty much in heat. 

When we got to the fairgrounds, the winds were blowing hard. Just trying to set up our 20ft tent, the top canvas almost blew away into the nearby pond. It took the four of us an hour to get everything unloaded and set up before Marrok's son and another of his students finally got there to help us out. 

That night, I hadn't thought it would get all that cold, so I only used my Jade Tiger blanket for warmth..it wasn't anywhere near enough. I shook and shivered the whole night, drifting in and out of sleep. Unfortunately, trying to sleep that way leads to minor hallucinations. I kept thinking that Marrok was getting up out of his bed, which was only a couple feet away, and coming over to crouch down next to my bed. It scared me, a bit, but rationally I knew that he was still asleep, so I didn't bother to do anything more than try to stay under the blanket and keep as warm as I could. 

The next night, I used one of the extra sleeping bags along with my blanket, and that kept me quite warm, warm enough to keep my fears in check.

The ride home, though...

It was just Marrok, Nisa, and myself in the truck on the way back from Kansas to Iowa. Things started getting a little weird when Nisa started playing alot of sexual songs, like the Discovery Channel song, a couple of tunes from Salt n Peppa, and other various songs that I wouldn't have expected Marrok to be alright with hearing, him being very private, very Christian. I also noticed more than once that she had her hand far up in his lap, and that when she would sit beside him and he'd put his arm around her, his hand would disappear down the front of her shirt a bit. I still tried not to think too much on it..and tried to keep my head down and pretended to be asleep to give them a bit of privacy. 

But once we were back in Iowa, Marrok took a different exit off the interstate than he would've to get us home, taking us out into some woods, and after about half an hour, pulled up to a large cabin in a very secluded area. This made me really nervous. I'd had fantasies about Marrok taking me to some secluded spot and having his way with me...but those were just fantasies. Never meant to be acted upon. 

"Why are we stopping here?" I asked, trying to keep the tremble out of my voice.

Marrok looked over his shoulder at me and smiled. Without a word, he got out of the truck, walking around to the other side to help Nisa out. I started gathering up my purse, and by the time I had started to open the door, they were both already back on my side of the truck. Marrok opened the door fully, and held out his hand. I looked at him, confused.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I know," he said, nodding at his outstretched hand. "C'mon."

I looked from his hand to his eyes skeptically, but took his hand and got down out of the truck. 

We walked up the short walkway, and into the cabin. I noticed as we entered that the place was fairly sparse for what I had assumed to be something of a retreat. The only furniture was a futon, a small tv, a round dining table with a few chairs, and an old recliner. Marrok led us through the main living area, to a door that opened onto steep stairs leading into the basement. Marrok went down first, followed by me, then Nisa. There wasn't much light going down the steps, so I kept both hands firmly gripped on the railings on either side of me. As Marrok cleared the last couple steps and walked into the main area of the basement, he reached up and pulled on a chain, lighting several bulbs scattered through the room, flooding the basement with almost industrial florescent light. Walking to stand next to him, and letting my eyes adjust to the light, I looked around the room. And my heart skipped a beat. 

What I saw looked alot like the dungeon scenes in bondage porn. A concrete floor, concrete walls, and alot of various restraint systems, toys, devices..about half of one wall was covered in whips, chains, floggers, riding crops, vibrators, and everything else imaginable in a scenario like that. There were several types of collars, gags, and clamps layed out on a table along the same wall. There was a cage against another wall, just big enough for someone to crawl in, but without any room for much else. There were oils and bottles of things on a shelf, some of which had labels that led me to believe they were for increasing sensitivity to almost painful levels. There were several pillar candles of red and white wax, obviously having been used before for dripping wax onto skin. 

As I looked around the room, I became aware that Marrok was watching me. I glanced at him, saw that he was smiling, and looked down. He chuckled, a low, soft sound that scared me, sent shivers through me, and drew goose-flesh all the way up my arms. He put his arm around me, his hand gripping my bicep just a little too hard. 

"See anything you like?" he asked in a low whisper, bending to speak right next to my ear. I shuddered, just a little, at his proximity to me. I swallowed, and took a deep breath to keep my voice from wavering before I spoke.

"It's a, uh, very nice playroom you've got here."

Marrok smiled again, walking around behind me to lean into my other ear.

"That's not what I asked."

I made a show of being tired, slouching a bit, and yawning.

"Look, uh, I should probably be getting some sleep. I'm gonna go back upstairs and rest for a while," I said, inching back from him, towards the stairs. He didn't make any move to stop me, so I walked up the steps and tried to open the door..it wouldn't budge. I tried again, jiggling the handle, before I noticed that there was a key hole on this side of the door. It was locked from the inside, and they had the keys. When I looked back down the steps, Marrok was standing by the railing, a very wolfish smile on his face.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Um, the door's locked."

"I know."

"Well, could you unlock it?"

"I could, but that would kindof defeat the purpose of locking it behind us in the first place, wouldn't it?"

I just stared at him. He couldn't really be doing this to me, could he? I mean, he was my sensei. People like him didn't kidnap their students and lock them in a dungeon filled with sexual torture devices...right?

"What, exactly, was the purpose of locking it?" I asked, trying not to panic.

"To keep you from getting away, of course," said Nisa. I jumped a bit. I'd forgotten she was even there. I decided to play coy, to try to delay what I pretty much knew they were going to do to me.

"Why?," I asked, a sly grin on my face. "What've you got in mind?"

Nisa smiled up at me, the same mischievousness in her expression as I had in mine, though hers was a lot more confident.

"Well, if you behave, a very fun week for all of us. If not, well.." She nodded at the whips. "We'll still have fun, though you might not enjoy it as much."

I blanched, the coy expression on my face replaced by one of fear, gaining a grin from both of them. 

How the hell am I going to get out of this? I thought, looking around me again. 

"Come here," Marrok said, in almost a parental tone. I shook my head. He gave me a warning look, and said, "Don't make me come up there and drag you down those steps. I really don't want to leave that many bruises just yet."

Gulp. There wasn't anywhere I could go, no one who was coming to save me, and no way I could get away from them. I only had one option: cooperate. Maybe if I played along, if I did what they said, I'd get out of this mostly intact.

"Ok." I walked back down the steep stairs, each step even more careful than it had been the first time. I reached the bottom and stood before Marrok. I managed to find my voice, and say the words I had always hoped I'd never have to say.

"I'll do whatever you want. Just please, please, don't hurt me."

"We won't....much. No more than you can handle," he said with a grin still on his face. He took me by the arm, and led me over to what looked like a small metal pommel horse.

"Strip," he ordered. I did, taking everything off, and leaving myself bare before him and Nisa. He took a long look down and up my nude body, then instructed me to get on the metal device. I did, though it was difficult to keep my balance. I was straddling it, and it was wide enough that it hurt to sit that way. I tried to bring my legs forward and up a bit, to stay steady, but Marrok stopped me. He secured each ankle to the base of the thing, stretching my legs down, and making it so that my pussy was pressed hard against the metal, and the little rubber nubs that stuck up from it in 3 rows were pressing into the most sensitive areas. Including one that stuck up so that it was directly on my clit, having pushed the hood out of the way. Marrok then fastened my hands to the bar that stood up from the front of the thing, and stepped back. I realized I couldn't move..at all. I could barely even twitch with the way I was restrained.

It was only then that I started to actually wonder what this thing I was bound to did. I looked down and saw that it had a cord running from the back of the metal piece to an outlet, and was plugged in. Then I got it. It was kindof like a sybian, only without any insertion piece, and the vibration was even more intense. I'd read a few stories that had featured them, and while the experience began as pleasurable, it quickly turned painful after the first couple orgasms. Especially if you couldn't move to relieve the intensity.

"Ready?"

I sighed. "As ready as I'm going to be, I guess."

He smiled, and picked up the controller for the device. He waited just a moment, then turned the dial up about halfway.

My body went rigid as the vibrations began to course into me, trying to block out as much sensation as I could. It really didn't help, though. The nub pressed directly onto my clit wasn't going anywhere, and I couldn't block that out. I tried, I really did. Tried to move, squirm, anything to lessen the intensity. But I couldn't do anything. After only a few seconds, my body spasmed, and I screamed out as I climaxed. The nub still kept buzzing away at my clit, even after the orgasm had subsided, keeping on the edge and breathless. It took a little longer for the second one to hit, but it was more intense. My eyes rolled back, and my head felt swimmy as the waves of pleasure started to crash down on me again, not stopping this time for two or three minutes. I could barely breathe. I couldn't speak. The muscles in my abs and legs were spasming uncontrollably.

I don't know how long he kept me on that thing. I passed out after 4 orgasms, woke up again after probably a few more, completely weak. After another two rounds, Marrok shut the device off. As he undid my restraints, my body went limp. I couldn't move, couldn't even hold my head up. He layed me out on one of the tables, and told me to get some sleep, that he and Nisa were going to go and get food, and that they'd be back in a while. I didn't argue. I just closed my eyes and drifted off immediately, falling into a dreamless sleep. I wasn't upset, wasn't mad. In fact, if I played my cards right, this could turn into a very interesting week. Domo arigato gozaimasu, Sensei.



After the Famine, the Feast



Christine Parker stared fascinated across the room at the naked man, who writhed in agony as he fought the ropes holding his arms pinned above his head. The sweat streamed down his face and into his eyes, which dilated as he roared with pain – the sound muffled by the cruel gag in his mouth.

She had to remind herself time and time again that this was a television set, and the people in front of her were actors doing their job as hero and villains of the hit TV-series ”24”. She had almost had a fit, when she was offered the job as the second, second make-up artist’s assistant a few weeks ago. She had been a fan of the show from day one of the first season, and to be given the chance to participate in the making of the second season was way beyond her wildest dreams – even if her job more often than not consisted of running errands and delivering messages. Just to be here!!

And who cared that at this point of the season the work took place well into the night, effectively preventing normal social life for the time being. She hadn’t really had a social life since she broke up with …….. Christine made an efford to stop her line of thinking and concentrate on the job. And her job was not to feel sorry for herself – or regretting that she had ever gotten involved with Tom in the first place.

Her thoughts were brought to a stop, as the director yelled ”And ….. Cut!”, and people started to move around the set preparing for the next shot.

She saw the key make-up artist, Ania Harasimiak coming towards her and tried to look professional and alert. Ania said to her: ”We need more sweat on Kiefer’s face and chest. And I think his hair should be a little more ruffled at this point, too.”

”OK”, Christine answered and headed towards Kiefer Sutherland, who was still hanging from his ropes, but at least the gag had been removed from his mouth. When there were longer breaks, he was ”released” and put on sweatpants and a t-shirt, but since this cut was only a short one, he tolerated being left dangling naked in front of everyone. Christine just couldn’t believe how he coped with it. She would be heading for the nearest mouse hole, if anyone should ever suggest that she shed her clothes in front of a bunch of people! Guess that was why she was not an actor ….

She reached her destination and timidly said: ”Ania wants some more sweat on you”, and at the same time she started spraying water onto his chest and arms. This was a bit tricky: applying the fluid without spoiling the make-up covering the tattooes on his upper arms. (Why they had to be covered at all, she couldn’t figure out and didn’t dare to ask. After all they had been visible during the first season – where were they supposed to have gone? Well, she wasn’t the director, either ..….)

Kiefer grinned at her from his uncomfortable position: ”Really? I think I’m sweating more that enough already! But if it’s necessary – just spray away!” He closed his eyes, so that she could apply water to his face, too.

Being this close to him, Christine couldn’t avoid noticing the warm, musky scent of his sweat, and she felt her puls racing. She stammered: ”Ania asked me to ruffle your hair a bit, too …” and tentatively raised her hand.

Kiefer opened his eyes again and said: ”Does she want me to look like I just crawled out of bed after a steamy night?”. But when he saw her blush a deep crimson, he smiled at her and said: ”Go ahead, darling. I think we’re about ready to continue – and the sooner I get down from this contraption, the better!”

Christine rapidly ran her hands through his short hair to make him look even more disheveled that before, and then she hurried back to her place at the back of the set.

Her heart was still beating fast, and she wasn’t able to get the blush off her cheeks. She was so embarassed to react this way when she was near Kiefer. She tried to tell herself that she was just shy being this close to a celebrity, but her body told her otherwise. As far as she knew being shy did not imply feeling her mouth go dry, heat spreading through her body towards her pussy – or making her eyes trail up and down a man’s naked body all the time!

This was really a puzzle to her. Normally she was attracted to tall, slim, dark guys younger than herself. But here she was: totally mesmerized by a man 5-6 years her senior, blond, relatively short and with a few extra pounds around the waist. Maybe it was due to those pheromones that the scientists said could make you feel desire, even if the other person really wasn’t your ”type”? The way she reacted to Kiefer’s body certainly surprised her!

”And …. Action!” She was jolted out of her reverie by the sound of the director’s voice. She gazed towards the actors again and felt her cheeks burn, as she saw the naked body swinging slowly back and forth ……

* * * * * * * * * *

”Oh, my God, I’m tired!Feels as if I was a hundred years old!”, Kiefer said to himself, as he climbed into his trailer and shut the door behind him. He fell onto the bed, where he lay quietly for a couple of minutes, trying to make the pain in his shoulders, wrists and back disappear by pure willpower. As expected it didn’t work, he was simply unable to relax. And to think he had to do it all over again tomorrow!

He could see the artistic reasons for altering the script, so that the roles of the two main villains, Stark and Raymond, were switched. But the consequence: to shoot a considerable part of today’s scenes one more time, didn’t exactly put a smile on his face. Sometimes there were disadvantages to not using a stunt double!

He sighed heavily and managed to get up from the bed again. Maybe a cold beer, a shower and some sleep would make him feel better. He fetched a can of beer in the fridge and drank from it, as he slowly shed his clothes and left it in a heap on the floor. He then headed for the shower, where he stood for a long time with his eyes closed, relishing the feel of the hot water cascading over his body and massaging his aching muscles. He soaped up his hands and started to wash off the sweat and remains of make-up.

He lathered up his chest and stomach, and as he reached his pubic hair he looked down at his flaccid penis, thinking that it looked as tired as he felt! He laughed, saying: ”Hi, buddy! You’re not enjoying this either, are you?! And you’ve not even had a little fun in between work for a long time! I’m sorry, but I’m just too tired to hunt down some nice piece of ass for you tonight!”

But as his soapy slick hand cleaned and rubbed over his buttocks and balls, he felt his cock react to the stimulation. It slowly hardened, and as a spray of water hit the head, he shuddered with pleasure. Well, he needed some sleep, so ”Buddy” just had to go to sleep, too! He rinsed off the soap and started drying himself with the towel.

It seemed that ”Buddy” wasn’t listening, because even though the beginning erection faded again, he still felt the blood pulsing slightly through the shaft. It had been quite some time since he had made love and he really missed it, but the shooting schedule left him too tired to do anything about it.

He dimmed the light in the trailer until only a small lamp beside the window was turned on, and then he returned to the bed and threw himself on top of the bed covers. He felt too hot to put on any clothes, so he just closed his eyes and tried to relax. After a few minutes he was fast asleep …..

* * * * * * * * * *

When Kiefer woke again, he felt confused for a moment. He knew that he’d been dreaming something pleasant, but what it was he didn’t remember. One thing was impossible to ignore, though: he had a building hard-on again! Clearly ”Buddy” had been involved in the dream, and it didn’t feel as if it was ready to relax, unless it was tended to first!

He remained lying quietly with his eyes closed for a while, feeling the tingling in his balls and the blood pulsing through his cock. He smiled and stretched, glad to notice that the aches in his body had subsided. Slowly he let his left hand slide over his chest, teasing his hardening nipples, then continuing downwards to caress his stomach.

At the same time the palm of his right hand was stroking softly up and down the back of his cock, as it hardened even more. He grabbed and gently squeezed his balls, enjoying the feeling of them getting tighter and more sensitive as more and more blood filled them. He let his finger tips slide through his pubic hair and started running them slowly up and down the shaft.

As he was lying there, gently massaging his own body, Kiefer thought of nothing at all. Sometimes, if he was giving himself a quick handjob, he would fantasize of a woman and what he would do to her. But at times like this, when the sole purpose was to release the tension that made him ache, he was turned totally inwards and thinking only of himself. He forgot about everyday life and other people, abandoning himself to the pleasure his body brought him.

As the pressure in his cock and balls grew, he grabbed around the shaft and ran his fingers up to the throbbing head, lubricating them with the pre-cum that made the tip of the cock glisten. He began rubbing harder and faster along the shaft, all the time returning to stroke the head in tight circles.

Soon he was grunting and moaning softly, as waves of heat ran through his body and the wonderful tingling in his loins increased. He started alternately stroking his cock slowly and then faster, feeling the pleasure building towards the orgasm that was so close now.

* * * * * * * * *

Christine trotted through the dark towards Kiefer’s trailer. She was a bit nervous and kept rehearsing what she would say when she got there. One thing was disturbing someone, who was bound to be tired after a long night’s work, but then to be the carrier of a message that would inevitably make the receiver ”grumpy”!

As she reached the trailer, she noticed that only a faint light shone from the window. ”Oh, shit! Maybe he’s already asleep!” she said to herself. After hesitating for a moment, she tiptoed to the window and took a quick look inside to check for life.

What she saw made her gasp and fall to her knees. She sat there, her heart pounding and her puls racing, but her mind standing still. Oh, my God! It could not be true! What was she to do now?! Although she hardly dared, she stood up again and looked into the trailer once more.

Her pupils dilated and heat flowed through her body, as she looked at the naked man lying on the bed just a few feet away from the window. The dim light of a single lamp was playing over his suntanned skin, making it look smooth as silk. His eyes were closed and a slight smile was playing on his lips, as his hands slowly stroked up and down his body.

She kept watching in spite of herself, as he started stroking his cock. Slowly at first, but then gradually faster and faster, and before long he was writhing with pleasure, throwing his head back with his mouth slightly open as he moaned and gasped.

Christine felt as if struck by lightning, unable to move or even take her eyes off Kiefer. Her nipples were so hard they almost hurt, and she felt her pussy getting moist. Without thinking she reached inside her blouse to caress her breast, while her other hand made its way up under her skirt. She started to rub at her throbbing clit through her panties, biting down on her lower lip to avoid moaning out loud, and all the time she kept staring through the window.

She had never seen a man masturbating before – Tom had never touched himself while making love to her – and although she had sometimes wondered what it would look like, she had never imagined anything like this. Of course she knew that men were wanking off while watching a porn movie or when they were in the bathroom, but somehow she had never thought that a man would be able to feel the same level of passion as a woman.

But watching Kiefer assured her that she had been oh, so wrong! The look on his face almost brought tears to her eyes. If only she could ever get so lost in the pleasures of her own body! She had been brought up believing that masturbating was wrong, dirty and shameful, and deep inside she still felt that way. Since she broke up with Tom, she had satisfied herself from time to time, when the heat in her body grew too strong, but she never felt good afterwards.

She stopped caressing herself, just staring at Kiefer, who clearly was near to coming by now. He was raising and clenching his buttocks slightly in rhythmic movements, almost as if making love to a woman, and still his hand was rubbing hard at his cock, while the other stroked all over his sweating body. 

Suddenly he stopped moving for a moment, and then his whole body was trembling, as his cum shot out and he cried out loud. He kept on gently stroking his cock, still lying with his eyes closed, breathing slowly and deeply. At last his arms fell to his sides and he looked so relaxed that Christine wondered if he had fallen asleep.

Slowly she lowered herself to sit on the ground below the window. She was torn between a feeling of wonder and an urge to cry. She hugged herself, silently rocking back and forth. She had no idea what to do, so she just stayed that way, not really thinking of anything, but all the time seing the same image: the naked man on the bed and the look on his face.

* * * * * * * * *

Kiefer didn’t move for a long time. He just lay on the bed basking in the afterglow of the powerful orgasm he had just had. It wasn’t often that he got so much pleasure from masturbating. Maybe it was because he had been too tired to think of anything and had just given in to his body’s needs.

At last he got up and slowly walked to the bathroom, washing himself before putting on a pair of sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt. He then went to the refrigerator again, this time to fetch something to eat as well as another beer, turned on the CD-player and collapsed into a lounge chair. While he ate he sat with his eyes half closed, humming along with the music. He was still tired, but at least now he was relaxed and in a good mood again. Maybe he would be able to endure tomorrow’s program after all?

Suddenly he heard a light tap at the door. ”Come in!” he called, but nothing happened. He sighed and stood up, walked to the door and opened it. Outside he saw a woman that seemed familiar, even though he couldn’t place her at the moment.

”Hi”, she said tentatively. ”I’m sorry to disturb you at this hour, but Ania asked me to tell you that she would like to start half an hour earlier tomorrow, if it’s ok with you? She said that she would like to experiment a bit with covering your tattooes more successfully than today …..”.

Kiefer slapped his forehead and smiled: ”Of course! It’s Christine, right? For a moment there I didn’t recognize you. You have to excuse me, but I’m so tired I probably wouldn’t recognize myself in the mirror! I think I’ve been working too hard today!”

Christine blushed and stood looking down at her feet, not knowing what to do next. But Kiefer solved the problem for her by saying: ”Would you like to come inside and have a beer? We haven’t really had a chance to get to know each other yet. And even though I’m tired, I don’t think I’m ready for bed yet.”

By now Christine felt her face burning as if she had been sitting too long in the sun, but she managed to stammer ”Thank you” and climbed into the trailer, as Kiefer held open the door for her. He invited her to take a seat on the bed while he fetched a beer for her, and then he sat down across from her, smiling.

Christine looked around her in the trailer as she sipped the beer, both out of curiosity and in order to avoid looking directly at Kiefer just yet. ”That music is really nice”, she finally said, ”I don’t think I’ve heard it before?”

”Yeah! It’s great, isn’t it? Actually it’s my good friend, Jude Cole. We’ve worked together a lot through the years, and I just love his music”, Kiefer answered. ”What kind of music do you listen to?”

”Oh, I don’t know”, Christine answered, ”I don’t think I have any special favourites. As long as the beat is right, I like it. Something that makes you wanna dance, I guess.”

”Should that be disco or slow-dancing, then?”, Kiefer asked with a grin. ”There’s a lot of different ways to dance, you know!”. Christine looked down, not knowing what to say. She remembered her reaction when she had seen his way of dancing in the film ”Truth or Consequences, N.M.”, and again her heart started beating a little faster.

Kiefer broke the uneasy silence by asking: ”So! How do you like it so far being a part of our team? Do you find it as hard as I do working nights?”. Before she had a chance to answer, he continued: ”I think the worst thing with this intense shooting schedule is that it’s difficult to find the time to spend with your family. Are you married?”

Christine’s head shot up and she swallowed the lump in her throat before answering. ”Er ….. no! My boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 years ago, so I really have nobody to miss”. She immediately regretted speaking so openly about what was causing her so much pain, but Kiefer’s eyes showed nothing but sympathy, and she was amazed to find herself continuing: ”Actually he was the one breaking up. I thought we were about to get married, but then one day he announced that he’d been seing my best friend for some time and planned on moving in with her …..”

Her voice trailed off and she closed her eyes for a second, telling herself not to start crying. When she opened them again, she was surprised to see her own pain mirrored in Kiefer’s eyes. He sat quitely for a while, looking down at his hands, before he said in a low voice: ”I know. That can be hard on you …..”

Trying to break the mood, Christine said in a voice she hoped sounded cheerful: ”What about you? Do you have a wife or children or something?!”

Kiefer’s face lit up at once, and he took a picture from the small table beside his chair. ”Yes! I have a 15 years-old daughter. Her name is Sarah Jude”, he answered and got up from the chair to come sit beside her on the bed. ”Here’s a picture of her that was taken just a few months ago”, he said with pride in his voice.

Christine looked at the photo of the sweet-looking girl. ”Oh, she’s lovely! I can understand that you’re proud of her. And she has her father’s smile, I think!” This time it was Kiefer, who blushed a little as he looked at her sideways. But he didn’t move back to his chair, and Christine finally found the courage to look fully into his eyes.

* * * * * * * *

Christine laughed so hard tears ran down her cheeks. Kiefer continued his parody of Jon Cassar, one of the series’ directors, as he was telling her about a day on the set, when more or less everything had gone wrong. He gestured with his hands in the air, made all kinds of crazy faces, and his dark voice was pitched high to imitate Cassar.

Kiefer was laughing, too and almost choked, as he took another swallow of his beer. He coughed, and Christine reached over to pat him between the shoulder blades in mock concern: ”Hey! Careful you don’t drown! We need you here, you know.”

He coughed again, still laughing and winked at her. ”Well, that should teach me to not talk and drink at the same time, right?”. Christine laughed, too. She hadn’t felt this good for God only knew how long, and during the last couple of hours, she had grown more and more confident in herself. He was so easy to talk to and seemed very honest for a man who’s private life was (in theory at least) more or less public property.

She suddenly realized that her hand was still resting on his back, and before she had time to retract it, he reached over and took her other hand. He gently stroked the back of it with his thumb, looking at her with a warm smile. ”You’re really nice to be with, Christine. I can’t remember the last time I felt this good. It’s nice to think of something other that work for a change.”




After the Famine, the Feast



Christine smiled, but didn’t say anything. Her hand started stroking up and down his back, seemingly at it’s own volition, and she squeezed his hand lightly. ”I enjoy being with you, too. I’m in a lot better mood now, than I was when I first came here …..”

Slowly he reached over to pull her head towards him. He held her gently by the nape of her neck, as he bent to give her a soft kiss. His other hand came up to stroke back her hair and caress her cheek as he looked at her, green eyes locking with her brown ones.

She answered his unspoken question the only way she knew, raising her face towards his again and returning the kiss with more fervour. He cupped her face with both hands, and she closed her eyes as she felt his hot lips covering hers. His tongue found it’s way into her mouth to play with hers, retreating as he nibbled at her lips, and then he was kissing her deeply again, circling her tongue and sucking it into his mouth.

Christine were holding on to his shoulders as she pressed herself against him, then grabbing his head to kiss him even more enthusiastically. For a moment he moved his mouth away from hers and breathed deeply, his eyes darting over her face. Still holding her head with both hands, he started licking and kissing his way from her ear and down her neck, his tongue leaving a moist track over her burning skin.

Her heart was beating so fast that the blood roared in her ears, as Christine reached behind him and let her hands sneak under his t-shirt. She rubbed up and down his naked back, then moved to slide her fingers through the hair covering his chest. He let go of her to quickly shed the t-shirt, then returned to kissing her and this time letting his right hand travel down to caress her breast, which made her gasp as her nipples hardened in response to his touch.

Still kissing her, he unbuttoned her blouse and pulled it down her arms, then buried his face in the cleavage of her breasts. He caressed her soft skin, licking and kissing his way over her breasts, taking first one and then the other nipple gently between his lips, biting lightly to make them even harder.

Christine was dizzy from the sensation of Kiefer’s hands and lips on her breasts, and she felt her skin burn under his touch. The scent of his sweat sent waves of fire through her body, her heart was beating faster and faster, and it was as if all her blood was flowing towards her pussy. She let her hand slide down his breast and stomach towards his groin, where she started massaging the big bulge of his cock that radiated heat through the fabric of his sweatpants.

Kiefer moaned as she began to move her hand, stroking gently at first and then more firmly as his cock hardened even more. He felt the blood pulsing through the veins and his balls getting tighter and tighter. He reached down to grab her hand, leading it inside his pants to touch his throbbing manhood directly. She closed her hand around it and rubbed slowly up and down the shaft, at the same time catching his mouth with her own again and pressing her tongue between his lips to give him a deep kiss.

By now raw desire made them both impatient, and they pulled frantically at their remaining clothes until finally they were naked and free to roam each other’s bodies. She fell back on the bed and Kiefer, laying down beside her, let his hands slide teasingly over her stomach, around her hips and down her thighs. She squirmed against them to get him to touch her flowing pussy, and at last he gave in and let his fingers brush over her wet labiae. She lifted her hips towards his hand, and when he penetrated her with two fingers, she rotated her lower body around them to make him continue. He spread his fingers slightly and moved them slowly in and out, while he rubbed gently at her clit with his thumb.

He shifted his weight to move down a bit, and Christine knew what he intended to do. As much as she loved the thought of having his lips on her skin and his tongue inside her, she was almost screaming with lust and had trouble lying still as he settled between her legs. He put his hands on her thighs and spread them wide, and then his mouth was on her again, his tongue licking the edges of her pussy in long, slow strokes. With his lips he parted her labiae, and his tongue penetrated her as his fingers had done a moment ago.

Panting, Christine lifted her head and looked down at him as he drank from her, his eyes closed and his face glistening with sweat that trickled down to mix with her juices. He opened his eyes and looked up at her flushed face, and then he dove in again, this time sucking her throbbing clit into his mouth. The gush of pleasure that coursed through her body made her cry out and reach down to grab at his head as he continued to lick her, circling her clit with his tongue and again driving two fingers deeply inside her.

”Please, please! Lie down and let me ride you”, Christine moaned. Kiefer kept kissing her pussy for a while, but then he moved to lie beside her, slightly panting. She got up and crawled on hands and knees down along his body, kissing her way over his moist skin as she did it. When she reached his crotch, she encircled the shaft of his cock with both hands and lowered her head to gently kiss the tip.

Kiefer shuddered and groaned as she took as much of him into her mouth as possible. She began moving her head up and down, sucking and licking. Against her tongue she could feel the blood pulsing through the big veins running along the shaft, and the salty taste of his pre-cum made her mouth water. At last she wasn’t able to wait any longer and she straddled him, her dripping pussy only inches above his stiff cock.

She leaned forward to kiss him. Then, with her hands on his shoulders, she slowly lowered her pussy towards him. He grabbed around his cock with one hand, guiding it into her, while his other hand caressed her hip and buttocks. When the massive head entered her, she let out a small scream as fire shot up her spine. She let him sink deeper and deeper into her, until his cock was banging against the bottom of her pussy. Sitting up again with her hands resting on his hips, she closed her eyes for a moment to simply savour the feeling of being filled up completely. Then she started to move, rotating her hips in small circles and rocking slowly back and forth to feel the cock massaging every sensitive spot inside her.

She was completely caught up in her own passion, throwing her head back as she started to move up and down the thick shaft. She rode him faster and faster, and she heard his sighs and moans mingling with her own. She opened her eyes to look down at him. His hands had left her hips, and now he was lying with his arms above his head, his hands clutching the bedposts behind him. His eyes were squeezed tight, his head moving from side to side on the pillow, as he gasped and whimpered with pleasure.

Kiefer felt as if his whole body was on fire. Ripples of burning desire ran through him, and the blood pumping in his cock and his tight balls almost made him scream. Christine lifted herself up from him, so that only the head of his cock was inside her. Still clasping the bedposts he raised his buttocks and started pumping up and down, fucking her with short, rapid strokes. She had her hands on his waist, looking down between her swinging breasts, watching his cock sliding in and out of her pussy, and her thighs were shaking with the effort of holding herself up.

He knew that he was close to coming, and he quickly grabbed her around the waist, rolling them both over so that she was lying on her back, his cock still buried inside her. He lifted his upper body, his hands on either side of her head, waiting for a few heartbeats before he began thrusting deeply into her warm pussy. She pulled up her legs towards her chest and rocked her hips to meet him. He kept ramming his cock into her as fast as he could, and she wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed him down towards her, her hands grabbing his arms, her nails raking his skin.

She threw back her head and screamed, her whole body trembling, and he felt the muscles of her pussy contract around his pulsing cock. He kept driving it in and out of her, as his own orgasm was building …. building …. A shudder spread throughout his body and he felt his balls spasm, the pulse of cum coursing through his cock. He moaned out loud as he felt the cum shooting out inside her pussy, and he collapsed on top of her, leaning his head against hers, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.


She had her arms around his shoulders, hugging him, and when he finally lifted his head a fraction, she took his face between her hands and kissed him deeply. As he looked into her eyes, he saw the remains of the fire still burning there. His lifted his hand to slowly caress her face, letting his fingers run lightly along her jawline and down her throat.

They remained like that for a long time. Lying quietly, just looking into each others eyes and gently kissing, but finally he pulled out and slowly rolled over to lie beside her. The sweat was cooling on their bodies, and he sat up to reach for the blanket at the foot of the bed. As he spread it out to cover them both, she rolled onto her side, sighing deeply. He curled up behind her and drew her towards him, hugging her tight with an arm around her waist. She took his hand and raised it to her lips, placing a final, lingering kiss on his palm. Then she snuggled up closer against his body, still holding his hand, her fingertips moving slowly up and down his arm. He kissed the nape of her neck and then buried his face in the soft flesh between her neck and shoulder.

He closed his eyes and sighed, enjoying the slight tingle still filling his body. He could hear her breathing slowly and evenly beside him. He smiled as he felt himself dozing off, finally falling into a sound, relaxed sleep.