70 comments/ 267524 views/ 40 favorites A Swapping Mistake By: DG Hear I was going to throw a twenty-first birthday party for my wife. We lived in an apartment building so my wife's parents threw the party at their house instead. We invited a couple who were friends of ours and lived in our building. Mario and Maria had moved here from Mexico about four years ago. They lived together and had two kids ages six and four. For some reason, they never got married; they said they didn't want that total commitment. Mario worked at a Mexican restaurant in town. Mario was thirty and Maria was twenty-six. They were quite a stunning couple. Maria had that beautiful Latino look: long black hair, brown eyes and a dark olive skin. She was built and when you saw her, you had to stare. Mario was a typical dark skinned Mexican to me. According to my wife he had a sexy look about him. My wife Julie and I had been married just four months and we didn't have any kids. She worked as a cashier at a large department store complex; I worked at one of the factories in town. Our life seemed to be going all right. All of our relatives that live locally came to the party. Her two older brothers and their families, and my sister and older brother and their families were all at the party. It was quite a surprise to Julie who later said she just thought it would be her parents and us there. Of course, everyone was offering Julie drinks to celebrate being twenty-one. We were all doing our share of drinking. Mys put on quite a feed for everyone. The party ended in the early evening. We drove back to our apartment and Mario and Maria said it was too early to quit partying. They had taken their kids to a friend's house for the evening. Mario said we could continue our own party in our apartment. He went to his and brought back some tequila and a couple of porno tapes. Julie and I have watched porno before but always by ourselves. We didn't want to look prudish so we went along; of course we were on our way to being wasted anyway. Maria made us all some drinks while Mario put in the porno tape. Julie sat next to me on the couch and Maria sat on Mario's lap in a large lounge chair. Damn, Maria was a sexy woman. She always wore the blouses that you could pull down over your shoulders. Tonight she had on one of those and a full flaring skirt like you see on Mexican women. The movie started and we all watched as a couple on the screen were at a bar. In the next scene they were walking into a house where the man was slowly taking off her clothes. The movie was in Spanish and Julie and I had no idea what they were saying. We sure could understand what they were doing. Every now and then Mario would give us an idea of what they were saying. Another man had entered the room in the movie. Mario said it was the woman's husband and she had gone out to find a man to have a threesome with. Of course the men started kissing and touching the woman all over. It definitely was a b-grade movie but the sex was getting hot. We drank our drinks and Maria got us all refills. Looking at her was making me hot. I asked Julie to sit on my lap. She was fairly drunk and was more than willing. I was drunk and hot to trot as well. She had on slacks which I unbuttoned and pulled down her zipper for better access into her panties. "Shawn, we have guests over. Should we be doing this?" asked Julie. We looked over at Mario and he had Maria's top down and her tits exposed. My dick got hard very quickly. I always wanted to see her breasts close-up and personal. "It's okay, Honey; they're our friends and look at what they are doing." I know it was the booze and my hormones making me act this way. I slipped off Julie's blouse and then undid her bra showing our friends my wife's body. Mario did the same to Maria as they both smiled. Julie and I kissed and kissed. As she moved over and sat on the couch I pulled off her pants and panties in one motion. There she was naked for our friends to see. Mario took off Maria's clothes also and they moved over beside us on the couch. My God, how much hotter could it get. It was the kind of thing you read about in stories of what porno films are made. To be seeing it and doing it was amazing. Mario lit up a joint and we all took a couple of hits off of it. I've never been so hot in my life, with my naked wife sitting on the couch next to a beautiful Latino woman. The whiteness contrasting to the olive skinned woman was fantastic. It was the type of thing you only see on videos. No one was watching the movie anymore. We had the real thing in front of us. I did glance at the TV and the woman was being double-teamed by the two men. It was hot. Mario and I were both eating out our ladies who were loving it. I couldn't believe we were doing this in front of another couple. Neither Julie nor I were virgins when we got married, but I never did anything like this. It was just like you see in the porno movies and I was doing it. The women got off the couch and lay on the floor next to each other while Mario and I quickly got undressed. I was glad to see our cocks were similar in length and girth but his was much darker, almost black. We each put our cocks in our woman. There we were side by side fucking our woman, and at the same time watching the body of our friends. Mario reached over and lightly squeezed Julie's boob. I have never seen another man touch my wife. I didn't know what to think. Julie and Maria both smiled. It was at that point that I knew I wanted to fuck Maria. I could see Mario smiling at me when he said "Let's switch." I pulled out of Julie and Mario quickly did the same pulling out of Maria. I couldn't wait another second as I pushed my cock deep into Maria. I was now fucking another man's woman, right in front of him. I looked over as he pushed his dark cock into my wife. It was the wildest thing I have ever seen. My feelings were so mixed up but, right then I just wanted to fuck the hell out of this beautiful woman in front of me. I reached up and lightly massaged her large breasts. They were much larger than Julie's. They weren't any nicer, just larger. She moaned as I kept jabbing my cock hard into her. I heard Julie making all sorts of guttural sounds as she was being pounded by Mario. He was playing roughly with her tits. I could see the red marks on her light skin. I knew she never liked them squeezed hard but it was a little late to stop it now. Maria was moving her ass up and down; I knew she was near climaxing. I pushed in deep and felt her pulsating pussy around my cock. She was moaning as I fucked her, kissing and gently rubbing her beautiful tits. I was making love to her body. It was the way I was with all women, I didn't just fuck them. I didn't know if I should cum in Maria or not. I didn't have on a condom and neither did Mario. It bothered me because Julie wasn't on any kind of birth control. We had been monogamous ever since we got married. I never had a need for a condom. I was now ready to come myself. I figured I'd pull out and come on Maria's belly. If Mario saw me he hopefully would do the same thing. As I felt Maria spasms subsiding I pulled my cock out of her and shot my white cum all over her belly and on up to her tits. She smiled and began to rub my cum all over herself. She then grabbed my somewhat softening cock and pulled me up so that I straddled her face and she started sucking the rest of the cum out of my cock. Damn, it felt good. I had this older sexy woman -- well, a few years older - sucking my cock. This was just the type of thing you read about and want to try. My cock didn't have a chance to get completely soft as Maria kept sucking it. Here I was face fucking a woman in front of her man. What a turn-on. After a few minutes I glanced over when I heard Julie scream out. I figured she had just climaxed and Mario had his cock buried deep inside my wife. I watched as he gave his last final pumps into my wife's unprotected pussy. When I came down from my high, my feelings began to change. This was the part you don't read in erotic stories. It was starting to change back into reality. I had just watched another man pump a load of cum into my wife and I didn't like it. You read all these stories about swapping and everyone fucking everyone else. You picture yourself in the group, fucking everyone that moves. Your mind is led by your dick as you want to fuck till you can't come anymore. I've read so many stories that I figured it was the way of life for us young people. I do have to say while fucking Maria and watching my wife was a turn-on. I was also a bit high on alcohol and weed. My cock started to soften before I came again. I know it was from watching Julie have an orgasm with another man. Sure, she had other men before we were married, but we agreed never to talk about our past relationships. This was real and this was now. The man had a face and I knew him. Mario smiled a big grin as he wiped his cock on my wife's blond bush. I pulled my cock out of Maria's mouth and went to the bathroom. I honestly felt like I was going to throw-up but I didn't. I washed off my cock and went back into the living room. I knew Julie could see the look on my face. I was putting my underwear back on and asked Mario and Maria if they would please leave. Mario started in on it was only sex, no big thing. He and Maria did it every once in a while to add spice to their life. I told him I didn't need spice, I had Julie and asked them to leave again. I did tell Maria that I was sorry and told her it wouldn't happen again. I told her I thought she was a beautiful woman but I loved my wife and only wanted to make love to her. Mario laughed. "Bro, it was sex, not love. I like to have some strange once in a while and so does Maria, no harm done. We'll be around if you two ever want a repeat performance. "I've had my eye on that pretty young bride of yours for quite awhile. I could see how you always stared at Maria. I knew it was just a matter of time before I fucked your little woman." "Get the fuck out of here or I'll..." "You'll what? Go cry in the bathroom," he laughed. I walked over to the end table and pulled out a revolver I had for protection. "Whoa, Bro, no need for violence. Hell, if I remember correctly, you even got a blowjob out of the deal. We're leaving. If you ever come to your senses you know where to find us," said Mario. "Put that gun away, Shawn. It's over and done with," said Julie. "No one held a gun to our head. Just let it go." Mario and Maria walked out the door. The after-effect was nothing like I expected. Sure I fucked Maria, but I let another man cuckold me. I wondered how long it would take me to get over this. Julie came to me; she was still naked and kissed me. "He was nothing compared to you, Shawn. He was just a guy getting his rocks off. Please just forget about him. He's not half the lover you are. Take me to our bedroom and make love to me. I was fucked but now I want to be loved." She knew just what to say. I walked her to our bedroom and started kissing her. I gently kissed each nipple till they became rock hard. I was a little aggravated seeing the red marks on her tits. "That's it, lover; you know just what to do," said Julie. I kissed her belly and she told me not to go any further. "He came in me, Shawn. Don't go there. Just put your cock in me and fuck me gently." I did as she asked. I did feel his cum but I just pushed my cock into my beautiful wife. I was able to last a long time. While I pumped in and out of her I gently massaged her breasts. "You make me so hot. Shawn, I love you so much." "Take me from behind," she said, as I pulled out of her and she got on her hands and knees. "Fuck me, Honey, fuck me good." I pushed my cock back in her pussy. I watched the combination of juices coating my cock as I pushed it in and pulled it back. Her wet pussy lips would open up each time. I took a finger and gently pushed it in her ass. I added a second finger and pumped it in and out as I pumped my cock into her pussy. I'm getting ready to come, Honey," I said. "Give it to me, Shawn. Fill me up with your cum," Julie said. I let go and I could feel her pussy squeeze my cock. She was coming as I felt her spasm over and over again. When the spasms stopped, I pulled my now limp cock out of her. Together we got in the shower and it felt good. I soaped her all over and watched the cum drip out of her. After a good hot shower we headed back to our bed naked. We cuddled and fell asleep but when I woke up in the morning I took my morning piss and made love to her again. This time I ate her pussy till I had to stop so she could go pee. When she returned I was lying on my back and she slipped my cock into her mouth, got it hard and then took it for a ride. Damn, she was good. -------------------------- After we got up and had breakfast we talked about what happened. "Honey, I just went along with what I thought you wanted. It will never happen again, Shawn. I love you and only you. I don't need any other man." It really wasn't her fault. I was supposed to be her man, her protector. She was somewhat drunk and I gave her weed and let another man take advantage of her. All because I wanted to fuck another woman that I had seen. As nice as Maria looked, I now regretted my actions. In the next few days, things got back to relatively normal. We never talked about that night and we made love almost every night. The nights we didn't make love, we held and cuddled each other. A few days later I asked her if she had seen either Mario or Maria. She told me she'd said hi to Maria one day when she was taking her kids to school. Mario had waved to her one evening but she didn't wave back. She didn't want to be with either of them again. About a month had passed. I was sitting home alone. Julie was still working. There was a knock on the door; I answered it and it was Maria. She had on one of those sexy tops and full skirts. "What do you want Maria?" I asked. I didn't invite her in. "I just stopped by to let you know we are moving. Mario's brother is opening a restaurant in Michigan and Mario is going to help run it. I wanted to stop by and say I'm going to miss you." "Me? Why would you miss me?" I asked. "I went along with Mario wanting your young blond wife. The reason is I wanted you. I used to talk to Julie all the time and she told me how you didn't just fuck but made love. I could feel it the one time I was with you. You didn't come till you knew I had reached an orgasm. Mario just thinks about himself." "Why do you stay with him? You're a beautiful woman and any man would be glad to be with you." "Would you, Shawn? Would you like to make love to me one more time before I leave? All you have to do is ask and I'm yours." "Maria, I love my wife and would never cheat on her. The one time the four of us were together was a mistake. You are an incredible woman and deserve a lot better than the man you have. It would be so easy to say yes to you but I can't do it. I can't hurt Julie. Why do you stay with Mario? You never did answer me." "I guess in an odd sort of way I love him. He is the father of my two kids. Maybe someday he will be more like you." We said our goodbyes and she told me they would be gone by the weekend. If I changed my mind and wanted her, all I had to do is ask. When Julie came home I told her Maria stopped by. "What for? You didn't let her in, did you?" asked Julie. "No, we talked at the door. Is my wife a little bit jealous?" I asked. "Yes, I am. She likes you and we both know it. You said we weren't going to have anything to do with them anymore" "Hold on, Honey. She stopped by to say that they were moving to Michigan. Mario is going into a restaurant business with his brother. So they will be out of our life after this weekend. She never even came into our living room." I didn't want to tell her the rest of what Maria said. There was no reason to since they were moving. Julie came into my arms and we kissed. I could tell it was going to be another good night. They did keep their promise and moved out. I was really glad to see them go. I would miss looking at Maria but I was more worried about Mario putting the make on my wife. I trusted her but I didn't trust him. I also have to admit if I was around Maria alone, I'd be afraid of having a weak moment. Life was good and we went on with our life. We visited family or stayed home and made love. About two months went by when I came home one evening and Julie was smiling. "Ok, what is it." I asked. "I'm pregnant! You're going to be a Daddy," she smiled. "When? Where? How?" I asked. Julie laughed. "Let's see, when was a few months ago. I don't know exactly till I see the doctor. I missed a couple of periods and took a home pregnancy test. Where could have been the bedroom, living room, kitchen or even the shower. How is because you made love to me a lot over the past few months," smiled Julie. I smiled too, but then a thought came across my mind. "Julie, is there any chance that...that it might have been that one time..." "No, don't even think it. We've made love almost every day since that awful day. So I guess you might say there is one in a hundred chance, but I know you're the daddy. I love you so much." "Julie, what if?" "Please stop, Shawn. Don't ruin it for us. You're the father and we are going to have a baby. I'll be seeing the doctor in the next few days. Our parents are going to be so surprised." "Can we still make love?" I asked. "Of course, Silly. Right up to the day I deliver. Don't worry, you won't have to do without or should I say do it alone?" laughed Julie. Julie went to the doctor the following week. If his calculations were correct Julie got pregnant about a week after her birthday party. It took a load off my mind while we planned for our baby's delivery. Our parents were happy for us. My mom even acted a bit surprised, but smiled and said she was going to be a grandmother again. I couldn't wait for it to be over. I wanted the baby to be mine so bad. I know what the doctor said but until the baby was born I'd be worried. A couple of times I talked with Julie but it aggravated her when I brought up the subject 'What if?' I tried to be positive and act normal. We got a nursery set up for the baby. It was going to be a girl. If we were lucky she would look just like her mother. We had a baby shower and got most everything we needed. Everyone was so happy for us. About two weeks before the birth of the baby I received a job offer. I went home and talked to Julie about it. She told me she knew it would bring in a lot more money but she would prefer me to be home with her and the baby. My boss had connections overseas and they needed teams of men to go to Kuwait and Iraq to help rebuild the countries. You had to sign-up for a one-year stint and would be paid an average of a hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year. You could even make more if you put in extra hours working. Here I was making thirty-five thousand dollars a year. I didn't want to leave my wife and baby for that long. My boss told me I had three weeks to make a decision. I knew I wanted to be there for the birth of my daughter. I got a call at work from Julie that she was on the way to the hospital. Her mom was taking her and I could meet her there. On my way to the hospital I called my mom and told here the good news. She would soon be a grandmother again. When I got to the hospital Julie was in her birthing room. It is the way they do it now. Everything takes place in the one room. We were all there in the room with Julie. Her pains were just a few minutes apart so everyone went to wait in the waiting room except for me and Julie's mom. I put on a robe and mask and held her hand. Boy, did she ever have a grip! She was hurting me but I wasn't going to say anything to her. I couldn't even imagine what pain she was having. A Swapping Mistake Ch. 02 Julie speaks: I was one of three children. My two brothers are ten and twelve years older than I am. I guess I was kind of an accident, but my parents really loved me. I grew-up with a rather normal childhood. Looking back, I believe my parents gave me too much. Since I was the only daughter and the youngest, I got my way a lot. Later when starting high school I was too spoiled. I can see it now looking back at the mess I made of my life. It's not something that I'm proud of. I'm just trying to explain to you how it was. As a student, I was average. I got mostly C's but it wasn't because I wasn't smart. It was because all I wanted to do was party. You hear guys say how they used to party in school. They didn't do it alone. There were girls who partied also; I was one of those. I wish I could go back and change it all, but time machines are only in the movies. For some reason I became rebellious. I really had no reason. I guess I was just a know-it-all teenager. I hung around with other party people. Unfortunately, I was pretty and knew it. I got dates and what I wanted by flirting and eventually having sex. The guys I dated all wanted sex. I remember the first time I did it. I went out with Bill; he was a guy I had dated along with many others. I didn't want a steady boyfriend. They were just friends and I never felt anything special about them. On a few dates, I let Bill feel me up. It was kind of funny watching guys get hard because I let them touch my tits. I decided I was going to give my cherry to Bill. It didn't mean that much to me and besides I kept hearing how good it was. Bill's parents had a pool, so one Saturday after his mom left to go shopping, Bill and I jumped in the pool. I had a little two-piece suit on that gave Bill a hard-on when he looked at me. I had to laugh. We played around in the pool for a while and Bill began kissing me and touching my boobs. He was surprised when I didn't stop him and let him go further. I looked at him and told him this was his lucky day. He reached down and gripped my pussy. I had to tell him to take it easy. I didn't need any bruises. We got out of the pool and I went over and laid on a chaise lounge. Bill pulled up a chair next to me and leaned over and started kissing me again and grabbing my breasts. I had to tell him to take it easy again. I didn't like just being grabbed. I was wondering where the love came in. Bill slipped has hand into my bottoms and felt my small blond mound. I had it trimmed because of the bathing suit. I could see his cock become rock hard under his suit. He pulled off his shorts saying they were hurting him. I reached down and slipped off my bottoms. I could see Bill was in some sort of never-never land. He asked me to suck on his cock. I told him no-way. Oral sex wasn't for me. There was no way I was going to suck a guy's cock. I did reach up and squeeze it. I've touched guys before but usually with their pants on. I could see wetness coming out through his slit. He got in front of me as I spread my legs allowing him to put his cock against the entrance of my pussy. I guided his dick slowly into me. It was my first time and I didn't want him jamming it into me. He pushed forward and I felt a slight sting. I figured he just broke my hymen. I allowed more of his cock into me and then let go of it. He started pumping in and out of me. It didn't feel bad but I was wondering what all the hype was about. I expected fireworks and all sorts of emotional actions. He kept pumping in and out of me and I felt him tighten up and felt his cum spitting into me. It felt somewhat good but was really nothing special. I heard him grunting and making all kinds of weird noises. I figured there might be something wrong with me. Was he waiting for me to scream out or something? He was my friend and I really didn't want to embarrass him so I let out a moan and a grunt of my own. Honest to God, I just wanted him to think he gave me an orgasm. His dick went soft and he got off of me, smiled and said, "You were awesome! I've never come so hard in my life. Damn, Girl! You're the greatest." "You weren't so bad yourself," I smiled. Geez! What a letdown. He got off of me and wiped off his dick with his towel, slipped his trunks back on and said he was going to go get us a beverage. After he left, I sat there for a minute and adjusted my top which I still had on. I looked down and saw this mess between my legs. "What the Hell?" I said. As I stood up, I had all this cum mixed with a little blood coming out of me and running down my leg. I wiped myself off as best as I could and went back in the pool. I cleaned off my legs and private areas and got back out of the pool, and put on my bathing suit bottom. I'm going to say something here because it's true. It's not to hurt anyone's feeling. I just want to tell you how I felt. A guy comes and it takes a second for him to wipe himself off. For a woman, she has a hell of a mess to clean up. I learned that from now on, every time I would have sex, my partner would have to wear a condom. I'd like to say it was because I was worried about catching a disease but I didn't even think about that. I figured my friends were all clean and that wouldn't be a problem. The reason for the condom was two-fold. For one thing, I didn't want to get pregnant. The other was that I didn't want the mess to clean up each time I had sex. I know that sounds immature for a girl of eighteen but it's the truth. I was afraid of getting pregnant. I wasn't thinking about Bill coming so soon and when I felt him shoot into me, it was too late. Luckily, I did have my period the following week. I told myself that I would not have unprotected sex again. I know you're wondering why I wasn't on birth control. I didn't want my parents to know I was having sex. They thought I was the sweet innocent daughter. I was still the party girl. I dated a few different guys and usually had sex with them. I found out that even though it didn't do much for me, it was a great way of controlling guys. They took me places and I never wondered if I would have a date. I know you probably don't think much of me and looking back, I don't much like what I was. Guys for some reason always wanted blowjobs. I was not into oral sex. I thought getting on my knees between a man's legs and sucking his dick was very degrading. I wouldn't do it. A few dates didn't have condoms so they didn't get any. I would give a guy a hand job just to get him off. On a scale of one to ten, sex for me was about a three. The guys I dated, I believe, put it at about a nine. So, I controlled my men through the sexual act. There were a few times when I reached a small climax but never the mind blowing, fireworks, seeing stars and screaming out that I've often read about. I must have been a good actress; my partners all thought they gave me mind blowing orgasms. I wish it were true but it wasn't. In my senior year about two months before graduation, my friend Valerie threw a party. Her parents were going to be away for two days on an anniversary trip. They told Valerie she could have a few girlfriends over one night. My parents checked with Valerie's parents and, of course, I spent the night. Valerie invited two other girls and about ten guys over to party. I had been with about four of them. One of the other guys was Valerie's boyfriend Ted. Everyone showed up and the guys brought tequila, and we all began drinking. Usually I watched how much I drank but I knew I wasn't going home after the party. We played music and we were all drinking and dancing. I knew I had already had too much to drink, but it was a party. I could feel the guys taking a few liberties and feeling me up while we were dancing. I thought I had it well under control. One guy pulled out a couple of joints and everyone was trying it. I had never smoked weed before but when they passed it to me, I took a big puff and coughed. The guys were laughing and told me to try again. This time they told me to hold it in my mouth and blow it out through my nose. Whoa! What a feeling. I took a few more hits and I don't remember much after that. I woke up the next morning naked in the middle of Valerie's bed. I had dried cum all over my body. My breasts were covered and my blond bush was matted with cum also. I had this horrible taste in my mouth. I knew then that I was gang-banged and someone even came in my mouth. The worst part was that no one must have used a condom. I quickly got up and my legs ached as well as my head. As I walked to the bathroom, I saw Valerie and Ted sleeping in her parents' bed. I jumped right in the shower and scrubbed my body. I looked in the vanity for some kind of douche; I found one and used it. I needed to get that cum out of me. I was in the shower for about a half hour when Valerie came in to pee. I yelled at her for letting this happen. She told me that she figured I let it happen and that she was busy making love to Ted. "Val, how many guys took me and who were they?" She told me, "Julie, as far as I know everyone but Ted. Most of them did you more than once. I heard you scream out a number of times. You were quite the party girl," she laughed I didn't think it was funny. I was pissed, but how could I blame Val. No one forced me to drink or smoke weed. As far as I know, no one forced me to have sex either. I did decide that I would never put myself in that kind of situation again. I also decided that I wouldn't date any of those guys again. The ones that had taken me out knew about my no oral sex and condom rules. The following week at school Bill came up to me and I told him to get lost. He tried to apologize but I wasn't listening. It went about the same with the other guys I had dated. For the next month or so, I just tried to get my grades up high enough for graduation. It was two weeks before graduation when I was sitting on my bed when my mom came into my room and asked me what was the matter. "Julie, is there a problem? You look like you've been crying." I wasn't sure how to tell her so I came out with it. "I'm sorry, Mom; I might have a big problem. I missed my period. I'm always on time and I'm past due by a couple of weeks." My mom gave me that look. You know, the one that said you had unprotected sex. "Julie, God why? If you thought about having sex, why didn't you talk to me about it? I would hate to see you go on the pill and be promiscuous but at least you wouldn't get pregnant. Wait here while I go to the drugstore and get a pregnancy test. Maybe we'll get lucky and it won't be positive." I waited for mom to come back. I was worried. What if I was pregnant? I didn't even know who the father was. What would I say to my mom? God, I was scared. Mom came back and I took the test. It came out positive; I was pregnant. I started crying and my mother wrapped her arms around me. Why? Why was I so stupid? I didn't even care that much for sex and look what I was putting myself and my mother through. I continued to cry. "Mom, I can't have a baby. What am I going to do?" "We'll work it out, Honey. Are you in love with the father?" "No, Mom, I'm not. I just did a stupid thing and I don't love him at all. I don't even want him to know. Please, Mom, tell me we can fix this." She knew I was asking her to let me get an abortion. We talked about it and we decided I would get an abortion shortly after graduation. I wasn't showing at all, and we weren't going to tell anyone but my father. I knew it would hurt him but mom wasn't going to hide it from him. We didn't even tell my brothers. At our graduation, I cried as I received my diploma. People thought it was because I was so happy, but the fact was, I wasted my high school years and would be starting my new life off by having an abortion. Shortly after the graduation, my mom told everyone that she was taking me on a week's vacation, just the two of us to a spa as a graduation present. We actually did go to a spa but we stopped at an abortion clinic on the way. When we left, I hugged my dad and told him how sorry I was, and asked his forgiveness. Here I was their only daughter leaving to go and abort their future grandchild. It wasn't an easy decision for any of us. I promised both of my parents that I would never put them through anything like this again ever. After the operation, I really did have an empty feeling. I didn't know if it was physical or mental. I knew it was one decision that I would have to live with forever and never make again: the loss of my own child. I didn't even want to know the sex but I overheard a nurse tell my mom she thought is was a girl. I cried. Mom and I went away for the week. We actually had a nice time together. I probably grew up more that week than the rest of my entire life. We discussed life in general and dating. I told her the sex wasn't even that good. Mom told me we should have had talks like this more often and we might have saved a crisis. "Julie, wait for the man that you love. He is out there. You'll know the difference when you make love to him. There will be little fireworks, believe me." I never told my mom that I had been with a number of guys and I never felt much of anything. After we returned home, I went job hunting. My grades weren't good enough for college and I didn't have the finances anyway. I had to prove myself to my parents. I got a job at a fast food restaurant. I had to learn to make a living. I know it was a menial job but at least I showed them I was trying. I stayed with my job. I really didn't like it but I needed experience doing something. No one was going to hire a high school student with a C average for anything important. A few of the guys I had dated asked me out. Once they found out I wasn't giving out anymore they stopped asking. I didn't care; I wasn't making the same mistakes again. After about six months or so, my mom told me that the large department store was looking for cashiers and salespeople. Her friend Mrs. Dickerson was the human resource person in charge of hiring. She had called her and Mrs. Dickerson agreed to give me an interview. This would be a nice place to work. It paid a higher wage and the further up the ladder you go, the more benefits. I would be lucky to get a job there. I took my resume and waited to be called into the office. I dressed in a nice blouse and skirt. My mom made sure I looked like a salesperson. I had to laugh; mom was so funny giving me all this advice. I knew she wanted me to make a good impression since Mrs. Dickerson was a friend of hers and she got me the interview. "Please come in, Julie," spoke Mrs. Dickerson. We went in her office and she offered me a seat. I sat very quietly while she looked through my resume. "Julie, I gave you this interview because your mom has always been a good friend of mine. I have to be honest with you. You're a very beautiful young lady and our company looks for top-notch people. However, your school records show me that you never really tried. Your grades are fair at best; you didn't belong to any groups or organizations. You weren't even part of the band or choir. Please explain to me why I should take a chance on you?" "Mrs. Dickerson, I'll be the first to admit I didn't buckle down and study like I should have. It's something that I can't change. I have taken a job in a fast food restaurant to prove that I want to work. I haven't missed a day or even been late. I know it might not mean much, but I was named employee of the month twice since I started. I want to better myself and I'm willing to work hard to achieve it. "I need a chance to prove I can do it. All I can do is promise you that if I'm giving the opportunity, you won't regret it." "That was a nice speech, Julie. I'm still not totally convinced but I'm willing to give you an opportunity to prove yourself. I have a suggestion if you are willing to do it. "What is it, Mrs. Dickerson?" I asked. "We have an opening in the stock room. It starts out at minimum wage. I know that's what you are making now. My suggestion is that you go to night school and take two courses. One is salesmanship and the other is marketing. Each course is ten weeks long and you have to go three times a week. "We will adjust your work schedule to accommodate for the schooling. You have to pass each class with a minimum of a C+. If you do this, we will refund the money for the courses and will promote you to the cashiers' level with a raise of three dollars an hour. Of course you can even go higher depending on your work record." I think I had tears in my eyes when I thanked Mrs. Dickerson. "I promise I won't let you down," I said. I could see a smile from Mrs. Dickerson as she said, "Good luck to you and say hello to your mom for me." When I got home, I told my mom and dad about my interview. I asked them if they could loan me the money for school and that I would give it back to them when the store refunded it. They didn't think twice about helping me out. They smiled and told me to work hard and everything would be fine. The following Monday I started my new job. I had to sort out material and help put stock out for the cashiers and other workers to price. It was a week later that I started night school at the local college taking Salesmanship. I was going to buckle down and do this. I had wasted away enough of my life. ----------------------------- It was about a month later when after class I went into the cafeteria to get a bite to eat. As I was eating my sandwich, I looked up and saw another student staring at me. I figured it was a student since he had his books open and appeared to be studying. He kept smiling at me and I couldn't help smiling back. He got up and got himself a beverage, and stopped at my table and asked if he could join me. "Hi. I'm Shawn Ward," he smiled as he sat down. "I'm Julie, Julie Cass. Pleased to me you," I said. "Are you a student here?" "Well, yes and no. I work at the factory and have been taking night classes for a couple of years learning to be an electrician. What about you?" "Kind of the same thing," I smiled. "Not to be an electrician but I'm taking courses in stuff to help me in the department store. I work there during the day." "I'll have my certificate in electrical work at the end of the semester. Hopefully it will open some doors for a better future," he said. "Me too," I said. "Once I finish the courses, I'll get a small promotion. I guess we're both after a better life," I smiled. He told me it was nice meeting me, but he had to get back to his studies. He hoped to see me again. From that day forward, I went to the cafeteria after each class. Shawn and I became good friends and he asked me out on the weekend. We began going out just about every week. It was something how he grew on me. We would go to the movies, ball games and even went bowling together. He was so much fun to be with. The first time he kissed me, I felt something. Was it a spark, or was I just hoping it was? It was two months later before he tried to touch me. At first, I let him and I have to admit I liked it. He massaged my breasts through my blouse. He didn't try to maul them but a very light touch. He wanted to go further as he undid two buttons on my blouse. "Please, Shawn, not yet," I said. I couldn't believe he did back off. He told me to let him know when I was ready. It was about another month after seeing a movie that we sat in the car and he was gently rubbing my breasts through my blouse. I watched as he undid the top button. We looked at each other eye to eye. He could see I wasn't stopping him as he undid my blouse. As he undid the clasp on my bra I said, "Shawn, no farther than my breasts, please." He was wonderful. He massaged each one and then he sucked on each nipple. He reached into his soda glass and pulled out an ice-cube, and rubbed it over each nipple. I shuddered with the cold feeling from the ice cube. I honestly felt like he was making love to my breasts. A Swapping Mistake Ch. 02 "I'm falling in love with you," he said. "I've never fallen for anyone so quickly." "I really care for you too, Shawn. I don't think I've ever met a man like you before." We kissed and I buttoned up my blouse and he took me home. I knew I was falling in love with him. He was so different from any other guys I have ever dated. I was wondering if he just might be the one. We continued dating and were falling deeper and deeper in love. I brought him home to meet mom and dad and they both liked him. When he took me to meet his parents, his dad looked at me and said I was too cute for him. He always made me laugh. Shawn's mom was a nice woman but I could see she watched over her son. I could tell she wanted the best for him. I decided I was going to be that woman. I had received an A in Salesmanship and was on my way to an A in Marketing. Mrs. Dickerson said as soon as I finished the course, which was a couple of weeks away; the cashier's job was waiting for me. I mentioned it to Shawn and since we were both getting our certificates at the same time we decided we would celebrate. He was going to take me to dinner and dancing. It was going to be our special night together. It was about three weeks before our certificate ceremonies that Shawn said he was moving into an apartment. He asked me to help pick out the furnishings. He needed a woman's point of view. We went shopping and bought a bedroom suite and some furniture for the living room. He had a lot of the things like a TV set and his parents and even my parents gave him little things to help him get started. Between the two of us, it was like setting up housekeeping. A week before our special date he moved into his apartment. ----------------------------- I dressed up for our celebration date. I wore a silky blue blouse and a black skirt with a slit way up the side. I shaved my legs so I didn't have to wear pantyhose. My mom looked at me and I think she saw love in my eyes. "Honey, have a nice time tonight but please be careful." "I will Mom. Mom, I do care for him. When he kisses me, I feel different." I smiled at my mom. Shawn picked me up and he had flowers and a box of candy. Mom answered the door and almost laughed. "Hi, Shawn. She's almost ready," as she invited him in. When he saw me, his mouth almost fell open. "You look great! Here, these are for you," he said as he handed me the flowers and candy. We went to the restaurant and ordered dinner. Afterwards we went into the lounge and danced. I wasn't old enough but we both had a drink. I guess all dressed up I looked older. After talking and dancing, we were sitting in our booth. He pulled out a ring. "Julie, I know we haven't known each other that long but I love you so much. I want to be with you always. Will you marry me?" I know I had tears in my eyes. Thinking about my past I said, "Shawn, I love you but you don't know anything about my past. I wasn't the..." He interrupted me. "Julie, I love you. I'm not worried about the past. My past wasn't the greatest either. All I'm worried about is the future. Will you share it with me and be my wife?" I said it. "Yes, Shawn, I'll marry you. I love you so much." We left the lounge and went to his apartment. We kissed and this time I didn't stop him from going further. He had my blouse off and was kissing my lips and working his way down my neck. I leaned back on his couch as he began to suck on my nipples. He was so gentle and caring. I was getting hot. I actually wanted him. "I want to make love to you," he said, as he pulled me up and led me into the bedroom. "Shawn, I want you too but you must wear a condom. At least till we get married." He opened his nightstand and pulled out six condoms. "Will this be enough for tonight?" he laughed. I couldn't help laughing. He came to me and kissed me again. He undid my skirt and it dropped to the floor. I was standing there in only my panties. I began to unbutton his shirt. It was the first time that I remember helping a man undress. He undid his belt and let his pants fall to the floor. We both were in our underwear as he lay on the bed. I was so used to guys squeezing my mound and then going for the fuck. Shawn was nothing like that. He kissed me time and time again. He made love to my tender breasts with gentle touches. I was getting turned on. He moved lower and was licking my belly. I heard myself moan when he licked and kissed the little blond fuzz below my belly button. I wanted more and received it as he slipped off my panties and buried his face in my muff. I felt him kissing my clit. It felt so great. Other guys never took the time to do these things to me. It was always a little finger fucking and then they would stick their dick in me. Shawn made love to my pussy. I held my lips open for him as he darted his tongue in and out. I was feeling little mini-climaxes as he kept eating me out. I never wanted it to stop. I almost felt empty when he sat up. He pulled off his briefs and reached for a condom. I don't know why I did it but I sat up and kissed his cock. I took just the head in my mouth and sucked it for a few seconds. Then I lay back down. He got between my legs and gently pushed his condom-covered cock into me. I know I was soaking wet. I've never felt this way before. I felt a climax in just a few seconds after he entered me. I couldn't believe it. He was smiling at me and the climax didn't go away. It went on and on. I've never felt anything like it. I could actually feel my pussy pulsating around his cock. I felt him come into the condom. I thought about the day when I would feel him coming in me. We were both wet from our climax. He climbed off me and went into the bathroom to disposed of the condom, and he came back with a towel and began patting my wet skin. God, I've never been with anyone like him! I did want to spend the rest of my life with him. We told our parents about our engagement, and were married in a small ceremony a few months later. We lived in his new apartment, which was now ours. Life was great. We had both finished our classes and I got my job as a cashier. Shawn was making good money and waiting for an opening in the electrical department where he worked. We lived in a somewhat large apartment building. Most of the other residents were older people. There were a lot of retirees. Shawn was lucky that his name came up on a waiting list. There was one other younger couple living there. They were a few years older than us. Mario worked in a Mexican restaurant. His partner - they weren't married - was a beautiful woman named Maria. They had two kids and lived in an apartment near the back of the building. I met Maria one day in the community laundry room. She was extremely pleasant to talk to. I was a little jealous of her because she seemed almost exotic. I knew that Shawn would sometimes watch her when she was outside with her kids. I always wondered what he thought of her. I didn't care as much for Mario. He was a good-looking man but I think it went to his head. Whenever he saw me alone outside, he would approach me and it was like he was trying to put the make on me. He didn't really come out and say anything but a woman knows when she is being hit on. When the four of us were together, we got along fine. Mario acted a bit different when Shawn wasn't around. Maria and I talked often. I remember telling her what a good lover Shawn was. How he always made love to me and not just sex. I remember Maria laughing and saying, "Julie, you're still newlyweds; wait and see if he acts the same months or years from now. Mario used to treat me better until after the kids were born." That was something else I didn't like about Mario. He never did anything with his kids. He didn't beat them or anything, but he would always yell at them and tell them to leave him alone. I thought he was a terrible father. ----------------------------------- Every once in awhile Shawn would put on a porn tape; I asked him what he got out of it because you could see how phony the acting was. "Honey, I get good ideas on how to make love to you. I used to read erotic type stories but it is better to watch it than read about it," he laughed. About that time the girl on the tape was about to take it up the ass. I looked over at Shawn. "Don't you even think about it," I laughed. We did try it one time and he got the head of his cock in my ass but it hurt too much. When I told him it hurt, he stopped right then. Shawn never wanted to hurt me. He really was a good lover. I asked him how much he had to pay to rent these porn movies, and he told me he borrowed them from Mario. He had a whole collection of porn tapes. Why didn't that surprise me? ------------------------- Shawn wanted to throw me a twenty-first birthday party. It was supposed to be a surprise but I knew something was up when he said we were going over to my parents' house and he even invited Mario and Maria. What an airhead, and they called me the dumb blond! I acted surprised because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. The party was fun and mom made all kinds of food. Shawn's parents and his sister came too. Everyone kept my drink glass full. I began to feel it pretty early. I cut back some but I knew I had drunk too much. The party ended rather early. Mom told Shawn to take me home and make sure I got some rest. After the air hit me, I felt pretty good. When we got back to the apartment, Mario said it was too early to end my birthday party and suggested we continue in our apartment. Shawn thought it was a good idea. No one would have to drive home and we could party till we dropped. I have to tell you that at that point I didn't care. I was having fun and my guard was completely down. Mario went and got some tequila and put on one of his porn tapes. I never watched porn with anyone but Shawn but he didn't seem to care so I didn't either. We were drinking and watching the tape when Mario lit up a joint. He took a puff and then said to give it to the birthday girl. I took a couple of long drags and I was in kind of a twilight zone. We all took another hit and then I felt Shawn undoing my pants. I mentioned to him that we had company but he didn't seem to mind as he slid his hand down in my panties. It felt good. I looked over and Mario was looking at me and Shawn while he pulled Maria's top down over her breasts. Damn! Was she built. I saw Shawn look over at her. I wanted his attention so I got off his lap and he pulled my jeans off. I didn't care who was watching us. Mario had Maria's skirt off and sat her on the couch next to me. There we were, Maria and I naked, and Shawn and Mario were playing with our bodies. We lay down on the floor and the men stripped and began to fuck us right there on the floor. After a few minutes, Mario reached over and grabbed my breast. Shawn didn't say a word. A minute later, I heard Mario say, "Let's switch," and they did. Shawn got up and started fucking Maria. Mario was plowing his hard cock into me. It wasn't the loving that I was used to from Shawn. Mario just fucked hard and hurt my breasts when he squeezed them. I didn't know how long we all went at it but I saw Shawn take his cock out of Maria and shoot his cum all over her tits. She began to rub it around her skin. I really wasn't enjoying Mario at all. I had enough wits left that I started grunting and moaning like I was reaching a orgasm. In truth, I was just trying to get Mario to come. He squeezed my breasts and it hurt so I yelled out. He must have taken it as an orgasm and shot his cum deep in me. He didn't pull out like Shawn did. I looked over at Shawn, and Maria was sucking on his cock. The next thing I knew, Shawn had gotten up and went into the bathroom. Mario pulled his cock out of me and wiped it on my bush like I was a common whore. Mario looked at me and said he knew it was just a matter of time before he fucked my young pussy. Shawn came out of the bathroom and told them to go home. Mario made some snide remarks and Shawn went to an end table and took out his gun. "Shawn! Please put the gun away. No one put a gun to our head and made us have sex," I said. "Easy there, Buddy," said Mario. "Julie's right." Mario and Maria quickly got dressed and left. I knew that Shawn was hurting in his heart. I could easily forget about the sex with Mario because it meant absolutely nothing to me, but I needed to console Shawn. "Honey," I said. "It didn't mean anything to me. It was nothing but a fuck. Please take me in the bedroom and make love to me." It's exactly what we did. We went into our bedroom and Shawn gently massaged my breasts, and when he entered me, it was nice and gentle. I wanted him to know that he was my man and I told him to take me from the rear, doggy style. As he pushed his cock into me he pushed two fingers in my ass and pumped both his fingers and cock till we both climaxed. Afterwards we both got into the shower together and washed each other's bodies. We then cuddled and went to sleep. I woke up to Shawn eating my pussy the next morning. I had to pee and when I returned, I rode his cock as he lay on his back. The next morning after we got up and had breakfast, we talked about what happened. "Honey, I just went along with what I thought you wanted. It will never happen again, Shawn. I love you and only you. I don't need any other man," I said In the next few days, things got back to relatively normal. We never talked about that night and we made love or cuddled most every night. I got home from work one night and Shawn said that Maria had stopped by. Of course, I got mad until he told me he never let her in. "Shawn, you said we weren't going to have anything to do with them anymore," I said. "Hold on, Honey," said Shawn. "She stopped by to say that they were moving to Michigan. Mario is going into a restaurant business with his brother. So, they will be out of our life after this weekend. She never even came into our living room." They did keep their promise and moved out. I was glad to see them go. I liked Maria, but after watching her fuck my husband, I didn't want anything to do with her. Besides, she let that asshole of a husband have me. For that, I would never forgive her. She was no friend of mine. Life was good and we went on with our lives. We visited family or stayed home and made love. About two months went by when I realized I had missed my period. I took a home pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. I was as happy as I could be. This was exactly what Shawn and I needed to solidify our marriage. We were going to have a baby. When he came home from work, I told him I had a surprise for him. "Ok, what is it?" he asked. "I'm pregnant! You're going to be a Daddy," I smiled. "When? Where? How?" he asked me. I remember laughing and saying, "Let's see, when was a few months ago. I don't know exactly till I see the doctor. I missed a couple of periods and took a home pregnancy test. Where could have been the bedroom, living room, kitchen or even the shower. How is because you made love to me a lot over the past few months," I smiled. Shawn did bring up the one night I had sex with Mario. I told him, "No way is Mario the father of our baby. Shawn, we made love almost every night before and after that incident. You're the father." "What if?" said Shawn. "Please, Honey, don't ruin this time for us. You're going to be a Daddy," I said hoping to make him feel better. We went on and our parents were so happy. They threw us a baby shower and we got just about everything needed for the baby. When I went to the doctor, he told me we were having a little girl. It even made Shawn tear up a little. The doctor did say the conception date was near my birthday but no way could he nail it down exactly. I told Shawn it was probably the week after my birthday to ease his mind. The day of delivery, I called Shawn at work and told him to meet me at the hospital. My mom was taking me there. I was in my birthing room, which was also my room, since they do it differently now. Shawn came in and his parents came to see me too. I was in pain but I was glad to share this experience with our families. When the pains got stronger, everyone left the room except Shawn and my mom. We were so excited; our baby was about to enter this world. I grabbed hold of Shawn's hand and squeezed it as the baby pushed her way out. God, it hurt! I looked up and saw Shawn looking at my mom. He had a look of fright on his face. My baby girl was crying. "My baby, is she okay?" I asked. "The baby's fine," said the doctor as he handed my baby to the nurse. The nurse cleaned her and brought her over to me. She had black slightly curly hair and had a dark complexion I looked up at Shawn; the baby was Mario's. I was crying. What was supposed to be the happiest day of my life was turning into a nightmare. Shawn looked at me and said, "It's not my baby," then he walked out. For the next few hours, everyone came in and wanted to know what happened. I cried over and over again. Family members were taking sides, some saying I cheated on Shawn while others would say I would never do that. After it quieted down Joyce came in to talk to me. "Julie, I can't believe you cheated on Shawn." "I didn't, Joyce. I love Shawn with all my heart and would never cheat on him. He knows what happened and he can tell you if he wants to." "Are you going to keep the baby?" asked Joyce. "She's my daughter. I would never give her up. She's my flesh and blood," I cried. Shawn came back later and we argued about keeping the baby. "Julie, if you give the baby up for adoption, I'll tell everyone you made a mistake and we can go on with our life." "What? I can't believe what you just said. My mistake? What about your mistake, sharing me with another man? Why don't you try telling the truth, that we screwed up and we can go on as a family?" "I can't raise a child that isn't mine. I'm sorry, Julie. You have to choose. It's the baby or me." I couldn't believe that he would have me make such a choice. I was really mad at him now. "Ok, Shawn, I've made my decision. I'm keeping my baby. You go ahead and do what you feel you have to do. Under no circumstances will I give up my child; not even for you, Shawn," I cried. Shawn walked out and stayed at his parents the next two weeks. He did stop by but I told him unless he changed his mind there was no reason to talk with him. Shawn told me he had applied for a divorce and I wasn't getting child support or alimony. I could fight it but his lawyer said all he needed was a DNA test. I told him I wasn't going to fight it. He could have his divorce. He stopped by and packed a couple of suitcases of his clothes, and told me I could have everything else. He didn't need it where he was going. Two days later he left for Iraq; he never even said goodbye. Life went on and I raised my Gina. I named her after my mother whose name is Virginia. My mom watched her while I worked. Shawn's mom stopped over to see us. She was such a nice lady. She told me she was sorry for what had happened and asked if we could still be friends. "Mrs. Ward, you are always welcome here," I said as I hugged her. It wasn't her fault that her son turned into an idiot. God, but I still loved him. She did tell me that Shawn told her the story about Mario and Maria. Three months later, I got the divorce papers and signed them. It was truly a dark day in my life, but life goes on. I got a letter from Shawn's lawyer explaining how to go after Mario for child support. He said that Shawn had asked him to help me. I declined his offer. I didn't want Mario in my daughter's life. He was horrible to his own kids and I didn't even want him to know about Gina. We would make do with what we had. A Swapping Mistake Ch. 02 I ran into one problem. Gina caught pneumonia and was hospitalized for a few days. We didn't have insurance because of the divorce and I would have to pay it out of my pocket. My parents helped me and child services helped out some. It kind of put us in a financial mess. About a month later when I visited with Shawn's parents, they gave me a check for ten-thousand dollars. I cried and told them there was no way I could accept it. "Julie, it isn't from us; it's from Shawn." I had to wonder why he sent it. I cried even harder. It was enough for us to pay off the rest of our hospital debt. I accepted it and wrote Shawn a letter thanking him for helping me and Gina. God, I still loved and missed him. Life went on. * Part 3 to follow. Thank you for reading my story. A big thank you to LadyCibelle and Techsan for their editing. Comments are welcome and appreciated. DG Hear. A Swapping Mistake Ch. 03 The company I work for is an independent company that has been rebuilding structures in Afghanistan, Iraq and Kuwait. Although it is very dangerous work, we are well protected by the military. Everyday we would have children sitting on the bank watching us work. Many were from the orphanage; they had lost their parents in this terrible war. Other people stopped by to thank us for helping build their new school and repairing other structures. You couldn't help hurting inside for these kids. What did they do wrong? They were just kids, for Christ's sake. They didn't ask for or deserve this. I don't know why, but it made me think of Julie's baby. Did she deserve what she got? I blocked Julie from my mind as best as possible and went on with my work. I was helping to add a wing on an already overcrowded children's hospital. As I took a short break, I noticed a young boy walk by on crutches; he only had one leg. He couldn't have been more than seven years old. Seeing him smile at me, with all the hardship he had to endure during his short life tugged at my heartstrings. I found out later the boy's name was Aadam Bazzi. I talked with the man I believed was his father; Ar'med Karzi was his name. He told me that Aadam was six and would be seven the following month. He lost his leg in the bombing of a grocery store that his parents owned. "You're not his father? I see you with him all the time," I asked Ar'med. "No, his parents were killed in the bombing along with his older sister. He is alone now. I took him in along with two other children. He is good boy," Ar'med smiled. "Did you know his family well?" I asked. Ar'med smiled again. "Funny you ask that question. His father not like me. We both like same woman. Maia chose Jacar; I loved Maia much and was much, how you say, disappointed when she pick Jacar. I marry Fatimah instead and we get married. Sorry my English not real good." "You're doing fine. I understand you very well," I replied. "After Maia and Jacar die, I ask Fatimah if we take in Aadam. She says okay we take Aadam in. I have good wife. We now have four kids our own and we take in three orphans. We not have much but kids need home with parents." It was shortly after talking with Ar'med that my sister had told me about Gina being hospitalized. I believe it was partly the reason I sent Julie the money. My feelings for her were still very strong. I didn't want her to suffer financially. It was about a month later, our mail is very slow here, that I received a letter from Julie thanking me for helping her and her daughter. She was very grateful and said what a wonderful thing I had done. She then said, "Shawn I will always have a place in my heart for you. Please take care of yourself. Love always, Julie." I cried after reading that letter. There would always be a place in my heart for her also. I went on working and tried to do some good here in this desert country. In my spare time, I would talk with different kids and they would tell me their stories. My heart went out for each and every one of them. I must have given out candy bars by the dozen. It seemed to put a smile on each child's face. Life seemed so bleak for them, but they explained to me that it was people like me that gave them hope. Our work crew was invited to a school that we helped rebuild. We got a chance to see the students give speeches and sing songs. It was great to see them with smiles on their faces. I knew we were doing the right thing. I often thought about Julie and her daughter. I was gone for about seven months when I gave my sister Joyce a call; we talked for a few minutes and I asked her how Julie was doing. "She and Gina are doing okay. She finally decided to accept a date. I was so worried about her never going out. I knew men had asked her out but she always refused. I tried to explain to her that she needed a life," said my sister Joyce. "I'm happy for her," I said. "She's a very beautiful woman and deserves a good man and I wish her the best. Well, Sis; I have to go. I'll talk to you again some time soon. Tell everyone I said hello." I felt bad. It was a lie. I didn't want Julie dating anyone else. What was the matter with me? I just couldn't shake my feeling for her. I thought time was supposed to heal all wounds. I guess that didn't apply to ex-wives. I had signed up for an additional six months. After having served eight months of my first year, we could sign up for an additional half year at a time. My reason for signing up was I wasn't ready to go home. I still wasn't over Julie and our divorce. I often wondered if I had made a big mistake. I needed more time away, especially since I heard she was dating again. Life sucked! The best part of my life now was helping these displaced and orphaned children. Seeing the hope in their eyes kept me going. Whenever I worked on the hospital annex, I saw Aadam. He was trying so hard, trying to overcome his disability. He was now trying on an artificial leg. It must have hurt him since he cried when they put it on. I overheard the doctor tell him his leg would have to toughen up more. This was a lot of pain for a seven-year-old boy. Ar'med and I talked often. One day he invited me over to meet his family. Fatimah, his wife, had dinner for all of us. Their home was just a shanty but they were willing to take in three orphan kids, one being Aadam, even with four kids of their own. My heart went out to them. I remember asking Ar'med how he could take in Aadam knowing it was his old flame's son with his best friend. "I loved Maia, but she want Jacar. We not friend anymore. I see Aadam after death of parents. Aadam just a young boy. He innocent child. He have no choice in life yet. He not ask to be born. How you say? My heart pains for him. I no care who father him, I ask Fatimah and her heart in pain for him too. So we take him in." "That was a wonderful thing to do, Ar'med," I replied. "Not so wonderful. He need help and home, so I try help him. He brings us much joy. We love him. Don't tell Fatimah but I see Maia in him. I love him as much as own kids. We all one big family now." What a wonderful outlook on life. He made me feel so small. I left the woman I loved because she had another man's child. She never cheated on me and I threw it all away over my pride. Right now, the pride I had in myself was pretty low. I had been gone for fourteen months when my supervisor said that I had two weeks vacation leave coming to me. I needed to take it or I would lose it. He then asked me if I was going to sign up for another six months. The money was great but I missed my family. I had saved up over a hundred thousand dollars at this point. I also missed Julie. I knew I had to go home to, at least, confront her again. I had no idea what was going to happen. I just knew that I had to see her again. I told my supervisor I would make my decision on another extension when I returned from vacation. I took my two-weeks leave and went home. I surprised my parents when I showed up at the house. My mom cried as she hugged me. She called Joyce and told her to come over. She had a surprise for her. When I saw Joyce, I hugged her. We were always close. She asked me if it was all right to call Julie and tell her I was home for a visit. "No, please don't. I know you are all close with Julie because of the letters you have sent me. I'm going over to see her today. I'm not sure what to expect. She might not even want to see me." "Shawn, she still cares for you whether you want to believe it or not. We can tell you're not over her either. Please just don't hurt her. She has been trying to go on with her life," said Joyce. That afternoon I rode over to my old apartment. Nothing had changed. Of course it was only a little over a year. I walked up to the door and knocked. From the inside, I heard a voice say, "Just a minute." I knew it was Julie's. She opened the door and just said, "Shawn! Oh, my God, what are you doing home?" I was misty eyed with just the sight of her. I realized then that I had never gotten over her. There she stood in a t-shirt and a pair of sweats, but she was the most beautiful sight I could imagine. "Hi, Julie. I had a two week vacation coming and needed to see you." As she stood there, a pretty little girl kind of staggered up to her and grabbed her leg. I knew it was Gina. She looked up at me with the cutest dimpled smile. "Hi, Sweetheart, you must be Gina," I said. Julie reached down and picked up her daughter. "Shawn, why didn't you call and let me know you were coming?" "To be honest, I was worried that you might not want to see me," I responded. Julie looked a bit shaky. "Come on in, Shawn. Would you like some coffee or something?" "Coffee would be fine," I said. "Please sit down. It will only take a few minutes to make it," said Julie. "You don't need to go through the trouble of making..." Julie interrupted me, "Yes, I do, Shawn. I need a couple of minutes to compose myself. This is quite a shock for me," she said, as she set Gina down on the floor and went into the kitchen to make coffee. I was sitting on the couch when little Gina stood up and waddled her way over to me. She was such a pretty little girl. I picked her up and sat her on my lap. She was smiling that dimpled smile as I talked to her. "Hi, Gina; you're such a pretty girl. How old are you?" I couldn't believe it when she held up one finger. I kept asking her little questions and she would talk baby talk back to me. As God is my witness, I couldn't believe that me not wanting this precious little girl was what broke up my marriage. How could I have been such a self-indulgent asshole? I knew I had to prove to Julie that I was a changed man. That seeing the homeless children and devastated families overseas had changed me. I had to wonder if it would be enough. What would it take for us to get back together? I squeezed this precious little girl and hoped that in some way, somehow we might become family. Julie came back with our coffee and nicely asked Gina to get off my lap for now. She climbed down and sat next to me. I couldn't help but smile. "So, Shawn, what is it you wanted to see me about?" asked Julie. She had her wits gathered now. "I want to apologize to you for being an asshole." "Shawn, watch what you say. Little ears have a tendency of picking up the wrong words." At least she kind of smiled when she said it. "I should have never rushed off like I did without saying goodbye. Julie, I still have very strong feelings for you and wonder if there is a chance for us getting back together?" "Shawn, my feelings for you haven't changed but I've gone on with my life. Nothing has changed; Gina is and always will be number one in my life." "Something has changed, Julie. Me! I've changed. I look back and see what a horrible person I had become. I was self-centered and an ass... bad person." I remembered to correct my language. It made Julie smile. "I don't know if that's enough, Shawn. Gina is my life. She needs a father and I want a husband who will love us both." "I can be him," I said. "What if we have an argument and you throw Mario or not being Gina's father in my face. I don't want that type of life," said Julie. "Try and give me a chance here," I said. "You mean a chance like you gave Gina and Me? Is that the kind of chance you want?" said Julie with a tear in her eyes. "I can't apologize enough for my actions. Right now I can't even say the words of how bad I was due to little ears being here." Julie smiled again. "Julie, I have changed and I know I was wrong about this precious little girl. I was an idiot for letting you go. Please give me a chance. I'm home for two weeks and then I have to go back for four months. All I ask is that you give me those two weeks to prove to you how much I have changed. You can then have four months to decide if we can be back together as a family." Julie stared at me. I was really wondering what she was thinking. I was waiting for her to say, "Just get the fuck out of my life" and I would have deserved it. Julie wasn't that sort of woman. She looked at me and said, "Shawn, I'm on vacation for a week. We'll see where this goes, but if you ever say anything about Gina not being your daughter, it's over. I'm not going to let you hurt us again. "You and I, as well as our families, know you're not the sperm donor of Gina. I can live with that. Can you? Take a good hard look at that this week before responding to it. With that said, I promised Gina we were going to do all kinds of things this week. You're welcome to join us." "Do we have any ground rules before I prove that I've changed?" I asked. "You're darn right. I don't mean to be mean to you but you can't stay here, Shawn. You can come visit everyday but not overnight. We won't be having sex. I can't be ruled completely with my heart. Tomorrow you have to go talk with my parents. They were really hurt when you left me and Gina." "Ok, I'll do my best. Where do we start?" I asked. "You can pick up me and Gina at mom and dad's tomorrow morning. If after talking to them you still want to be with us, I was taking Gina to the zoo." We talked a little bit more and before I left I asked Julie if I was allowed a kiss. "Sure," she said. Then she turned to Gina and said, "Honey, do you want to give Shawn a kiss goodbye? He's taking us to the zoo tomorrow." Gina climbed up on my lap and gave me a big kiss on the lips, while Julie was laughing. After Gina kissed me, she gave me a big hug. I couldn't help myself, hugging her in return. "Thank you, Sweetheart," I said to Gina. "That was the best kiss and hug I ever had." I left feeling pretty good. I knew tomorrow would be hard. I hadn't spoken to Julie's parents since I left the hospital and divorced their daughter. My parents were happy that I was going out with Julie. As I said, they really cared for her and Gina. Of course, they knew what happened with the pregnancy and thought I should have stayed with her. At the time, I couldn't see beyond my own jealousy and arrogance. ------------------ The next morning I headed to see Julie's parents. Julie and Gina were already there. This was going to be harder than I thought. "Come in, Shawn. Julie said you wanted to talk to Harold and me," said Mrs. Cass. We walked into the kitchen and sat at the table. Mrs. Cass offered me a cup of coffee, which I accepted. Julie and Gina stayed in the living room but I know they could hear us. Mr. Cass just kind of stared at me. He was a hard person to read. Mrs. Cass spoke first. "Shawn, you have to know that we really hated you for what you did to Julie, even after she told you about the one-time affair she had with that Mario fella. You told her you could work through it, but when she turned up pregnant, you couldn't accept her baby." I realized that Julie must have told her parents that she had a one-time affair instead of what I let happen. I guess she figured her parents would hate me even more if they knew I shared her with another man. Julie took the blame. "Mr. And Mrs. Cass, I apologize for all of my actions. I know I didn't handle any of it right. I went overseas and realized how much I still loved Julie. I want to make amends. I'm still in love with her and I know I could make her and Gina happy. I have to be honest and tell you I already care for Gina. I would in no way hurt her or Julie." "Shawn," spoke Mr. Cass, "your words are nice but actions speak much louder than words. If you want our ok for you to be with our daughter and granddaughter, it's going to take action. Your words aren't enough anymore." "I do understand and I'll do my best to prove it to both of you. Just give me little time to find a way to prove it. Again, I am sorry for the way I acted." I finished my coffee. Julie and Gina were ready to go to the zoo. I said my goodbyes to Mr. and Mrs. Cass and we were heading for the zoo. We went in Gina's car since she had a car seat already in for Gina. At the zoo, we had a wonderful time. I pushed the stroller and tried to do everything right. I would stop and talk to the animals and it would make Gina laugh. We spent the whole day together. On the drive home, Julie told me not to try so hard. "Shawn, just be yourself. I can tell Gina likes you. Parenting is a lifelong job. You can't expect to do it in a day or a week." I knew she was right. I was trying too hard. I bought Gina a stuffed elephant, a coloring book and a zoo book with all the animals from A to Z. I got her everything she asked for. I still had to find a way to prove that I was serious. Like Julie told me, "Parenting is a lifelong job. Just buying things for the kids isn't enough." The next day we went to the park and to the airport so Gina could watch the airplanes take off and land. I wanted to buy her a little airplane but Julie told me no. "Shawn, it's something else you have to learn. You have to learn to say no to her. Believe me it isn't easy; sometimes you'll see her cry but you can't give in." I was really learning a lot about parenting from Julie. The next morning I learned even more. I went to their apartment first thing in the morning. Julie smiled as I came in. "Glad you're here. Could you watch Gina while I get dressed? She's in the kitchen eating her cereal?" asked Julie. "I'd much rather watch you get dressed," I said as I walked into the kitchen. "I bet you would," laughed Julie as she walked into the bedroom and closed the door. "Hi, Sweetheart," I said to Gina as she ate her cereal. She started to get down. "No, Mommy said you had to eat all your cereal." Gina looked at me. I was hoping this wasn't one of her tests; I wasn't ready for one. She went ahead and finished her cereal and we went into the living room and I sat on the couch. Gina came up to me and said, "Ca-ca." "What?" I asked. Gina only knew a few words. I could smell something. She said ca-ca and then did it in her diaper. About that time, Julie came in dressed up really looking nice. "I think Gina made ca-ca in her pants," I said. "So, you want to be a daddy, go change her," laughed Julie. "I can do this, you know," I said. "Well, be my guest. Her diapers and everything you need is in her room," replied Julie. I knew I had to do this. I took Gina by the hand and we walked into her bedroom. I laid her on the bed and removed the diaper. I tried to hold my breath but it wasn't easy. I gagged a couple of times. I quickly put her dirty diaper in the pail after using some wipes to wipe off her little butt. She kept laughing while I did it. I grabbed a clean diaper and put some powder all over her private areas and pulled the velcro strips. I was proud of my work. Julie came in and handed me a little outfit to put on Gina. "Go on, she'll help you," said Julie. I actually was having fun. Gina was always smiling and laughing. I said, "Help daddy put on your socks." I didn't realize what I said until Gina said, "Da-Da." I wondered if Julie heard it but didn't say anything. I was wondering if I overstepped my bounds. I have to admit that I really did care for this precious little girl. We spent the day together doing all sorts of things. We even went to a department store and I saw a kids' table with two chairs. I wanted to buy it but Julie told me there wasn't room in the apartment for it. "Julie, I didn't get her anything for her birthday. Can't I buy her something?" I knew Julie didn't believe in buying love but she knew I needed to get her something. "Ok, get her anything she wants for less than ten dollars. It will be her belated birthday present from her Da-Da." I looked at Julie. "You heard me? I'm sorry, it just came out," I apologized. Julie didn't say anything. I guessed she just wanted me to know she heard me. A Swapping Mistake Ch. 03 It was hard finding something nice that was that cheap. Finally, Gina grabbed a tea set. It was a table set for four, with the wee little cups and saucers. It only costs eight dollars but Gina was happy, I was proud and Julie laughed. God, I loved her laugh. We were into our fifth day together and I did a lot of things with them. I'm sure I didn't do anything that proved how serious I was. Then, I came up with a solution. A way to prove to Mr. and Mrs. Cass that I was serious about Julie and Gina. I asked my mom if she could watch Gina for a couple of hours. She didn't have any problems with watching her. I asked Julie if I could look at Gina's birth certificate. She handed it to me and I looked at it. While Julie got Gina ready to take her to my parents' house, I put the birth certificate in my pocket. When we got to mom's, Gina walked in and said, "Gama." When my dad walked in to the room, she ran to him and called him "papa." I looked over at my mom and she told me, "Gina has always called us her Grandma and Grandpa. She also calls Harold and Virginia the same thing. We never told you because we didn't want to upset you. She's only called us that for a couple of months. Shawn, you need to know that we have always loved her. She was just an innocent child born in an unstable situation." The more I saw how my family reacted to Julie and Gina, the more I realized what a real asshole I had been. I guess it took going to Iraq, Afghanistan and Kuwait to realize how much worse other people had it. I was now trying to right many of the wrongs I had done. I just hoped it would be enough. Julie looked at me. Shawn, where are you taking me? You've never said." "It's a minor surprise. Please trust me for one hour," I asked. We left and I drove to the courthouse annex. It's where they took care of the legal documents. "Shawn, why are we here?" asked Julie. "I've tried everything I can think of to try to prove to everyone how sorry I am for the way I handled Gina's birth. Your dad told me that actions speak louder than words. Just come in with me." I walked up to the counter and told the lady I needed a birth certificate changed. "What's wrong with it, sir?" she asked. At this point, I did have to lie a little. "My wife gave birth to my daughter when I was overseas and my name was never put on my daughter's birth certificate." Julie stood there stunned. The lady looked over the certificate and under father it said, "unknown." "I want this amended immediately. I don't want my daughter growing up and some day looking at her birth certificate and not seeing, 'Father - Shawn Michael Ward' where it belongs." I was talking rather loudly when a supervisor came to the counter and I re-explained my situation to him. "Mr. Ward, we can do this as long as the mother of the child is here and we have a copy of your birth certificate and we will need to see both of your driver's licenses." I laid down my birth certificate and driver's license. Julie showed him hers still not saying a word but she was staring at me. He didn't need to see her birth certificate because we weren't changing anything about her on Gina's birth certificate. It was funny that we still both had the same address. I never did get mine changed. Julie never did get her name changed and Gina's last name was Ward. I filled out the amended form, listing father as Shawn Michael Ward. I smiled at Julie and she was somewhat misty eyed as she squeezed my hand. The Supervisor gave us a copy of Gina's amended birth certificate. He said we would get an original mailed to us in seven days to two weeks. The Supervisor apologized for taking so long. He said that in his ten years working there, no man has ever wanted his named added to a birth certificate, but at least five times a week people come in wanting their names removed. I thanked him and Julie and I went to the car. I opened her door and she turned around and kissed me. It was the first time we kissed since she was admitted to the hospital for the birth of Gina. Finally, I knew I did something right. "Shawn, why did you do it? You were so adamant against it that you divorced me. I'm having a hard time understanding this. You do understand that it was more than just signing your name, don't you? It was her birth certificate and you saying you are her father and are willing to take responsibility for her well-being." "Yes, I know. I do love the little tyke and am willing to do what it takes to be a good father. I will help support her and take care of her. There is something I feel I should tell you." "Shawn, what if we don't get re-married. Are you still willing to help support her, not only financially but also as her father? She really likes you and I don't want to see her get hurt if we don't get back together. Now, what is it you need to tell me?" "I can't have kids. My mother told me right after Gina's birth." "I know, Shawn. Your mom told me about it when you left for Iraq. I'm so sorry but it didn't change the way I felt about you," said Julie "I'm hoping that you love me as much as I love you. If for some reason you choose not to marry me, God forbid, I still want Gina in my life and I know she's already in my parents and sister's life. Especially, since I can't give them any more grandchildren. I just knew accepting her as my own was the right thing to do." We walked into my parents' house and Gina came running to me; well, kind of waddling to me in a somewhat straight direction. I lifted her up and said, "Give daddy a big kiss." She gave me a big wet one right on the lips. I gave her a really big hug. She hugged my neck and said, "Da-Da" My parents stood there looking totally surprised until Julie handed them the copy of the amended birth certificate. My mom started crying along with Julie. We all talked for a while and then went over and saw Julie's parents. We got pretty much the same reaction. "Mr. Cass, I don't intend on shirking my responsibilities any longer. I hope my actions are speaking louder than my words." He extended out his hand to me and I shook it. I had less than a week before I had to go back to Kuwait for another four months. Julie had to work the following week but I came over every day after work. One day I asked if I could come to the house and stay with Gina all day. "You're her father, so I guess you've earned that right. Are you sure you can handle it by yourself?" Julie laughed. "She's only a fourteen month old girl. I'm sure I can handle it," I laughed. Julie left me her work number and her mom's number in case I ran into any problems. I showed up first thing in the morning and made Gina a bowl of cereal while Julie got ready for work. I had my coffee and had some cereal with Gina while she ate. She liked me sitting there eating with her. Julie came in and kissed Gina goodbye, "See you later, Sweetie. You be good for Daddy, Ok?" "Da-Da," was all Gina said but it made me feel pretty good. I looked at Julie. "Don't I at least get a kiss goodbye too?" She came over and gave me a pretty good one. Smiled and said, "There's more where that came from; see you tonight." --------------------- I had fun with Gina but she did wear me out. After she finished eating, I had to change her again. Boy, I thought it would take some getting used to. She always laughed while I changed her. I dressed her and we went to the park. I was a proud daddy when all the women said what a cute daughter I had. I was glad when naptime came. I lay down on Julie's bed with Gina and she fell asleep next to me. I could smell Julie on the pillow and it smelled great. I was wakened by a little girl jumping on me. "Dada, Dada," was what I heard. Gina was smiling at me and was ready to go again. We went to the couch and she watched her children's programs. She got up and brought me some books to read to her. While I was reading to her she got down and went and got her tea set. She gave us each a little cup and saucer. I got up and filled her little teapot with water, and got us out some cookies. I guess we were having a tea party while I read to her. She hardly drank her water and just took little bites out of her cookie. She filled my tiny cup and I would drink it straight down. It made her laugh and she would fill my cup again. After she had enough of me reading her stories, she sat in front of the TV and watched her programs, thank God. I just lay on the couch and watched her. Whenever there was an advertisement, she would pour me another little cup of water. I was getting pretty full. We heard someone at the door and it was Julie. She said she thought she would come home early. "You didn't think I could handle it, did you?" I smiled. "I have to admit it looks like you did pretty good," remarked Julie. Right then Gina came with another teapot full of water and poured me a cup. I forgot to mention that I did have a towel under the cups to help catch the spills. I looked up at Julie expecting to get a compliment since I remembered the towel. As I drank down my little cup of water, Gina smiled and I smiled back. "You make the best tea I've ever drank," I said to her. Julie asked, "How many pots of water have you drank, Shawn?" "I don't know, maybe five of her little teapots," I answered. "Shawn, you do know the only place she could reach water to fill her teapot is the toilet, don't you?" laughed Julie. I jumped up and spit in the kitchen sink. I got out a beer and nearly drank it straight down. I still have a lot to learn. Julie could hardly stop laughing. On my last night home, I asked Julie if she would like to go out on a real date, just me and her? "I'll ask mom if she'll watch Gina. I'm sure she will," said Julie. When I arrived at her apartment, she had already taken Gina to her mom's. She looked beautiful, as pretty as I could remember. I took her out for a nice dinner and dancing. She told me she didn't drink much anymore but she did have a wine cooler and I ordered a beer. While we were dancing, I held her close. She smelled so damn good. We did have a couple of more drinks before going home. When we got back to her apartment I said, "I wish this night wasn't coming to an end." "Who said it was over?" said Julie. "Mom has Gina for the night. I just had to know that you really had changed and did really care for Gina. I believe you've proven that you are really trying. Come on in and stay for awhile." We stepped into the living room and she let me kiss her. I kissed her over and over again. She stared at me without saying a word. I knew she was in deep thought. She took me by the hand and I followed her. We went into the bedroom and I dimmed the lights and slowly but methodically removed her blouse and skirt. We kissed over and over again. As I was standing there kissing her neck, I undid her bra. I slipped my clothes off down to my briefs and we lay on her bed. I spent a goodly amount of time kissing and gently massaging her breasts. Her perfume was so intoxicating. She moaned as I went lower and kissed her belly. "Oh, God, Shawn, I missed your making love to me so much." I pulled her panties down just a little and licked the light fuzzy part above her mound. I could hear her moan even more. I slipped off her panties and buried my face in her muff. As I pushed my face into her, she pushed her hips up. I went lower and was licking her clit. She was so wet I would have thought she had already climaxed. She tasted so good. "Tongue me, Shawn; tongue me like you use to do. Oh, so good. I love it so much." I was tongue fucking her for all I was worth. She had her lips pulled apart so I could have better access. I needed to have her. I needed to sink my dick into her wet pussy. "Do you want me to wear a condom, Julie?" I asked. "It's not necessary since you can't have kids. Shoot your sperm as deep as you want. I want to feel you filling me up. Come in me all night till you can't get it up. I'm here for you, Shawn. Please love me." I have to say it was the greatest night of lovemaking of my life. It wasn't sex, it was making love. Julie was everything that I remembered. In the morning, we showered and were going to my parents for a goodbye barbeque for me. My parents were happy seeing Julie and me together. Joyce came over with her family and pulled Julie aside for more girl talk. I never did find out what they talked about. Mom did tell me they became best friends which answered a lot of the closeness of my family with Julie. Julie's parents came over and little Gina came staggering up to me smiling. I picked her up and she gave me one of those big wet kisses and hugs. God, how life changes so quickly! I loved this little girl. We all ate and talked about me going back to Kuwait and Iraq. I told them that it was dangerous but the military had our back. Other than unexploded mines and things of that nature we were relatively safe. I told them about all the kids and people I had met there. They all looked sad when I told them about Aadam and his struggles, I think they all began to understand what had changed me. Mrs. Cass asked, "Shawn, what do you see about your future with Julie and Gina? I know you adopted Gina..." I interrupted her. "Mrs. Cass. I didn't adopt Gina. She's my daughter, I accept her as that; I'm her father and will support her. If Julie wants support through a court, all she has to do is file for child support and I will honor it. "As of right now I will be sending two thousand dollars a month home to Julie to help support my daughter." Julie had tears in her eyes. I never had time to discuss it with her. "I will be gone for four more months; I figure it will give Julie time to think about our future together, and whether she will want to marry me when I return. I can't expect her to make such a big decision on me being home less than two weeks. Regardless of her decision, Gina will always be my daughter. I was stupid and gave her up once. It won't happen again," I said very seriously. Everyone was quiet and wasn't sure how to respond. Julie broke the ice, "Hey, we're supposed to be having a party here, not a wake," she smiled over at me. When it was time for me to leave, I said goodbye to my parents and gave them a hug. My Dad whispered in my ear, "Son, I'm really proud of you. Take care of yourself." I hugged Mrs. Cass and shook Mr. Cass' hand. "You take care, young man, and be careful." I reached down, picked up and hugged my little daughter. I know I had tears in my eyes when I asked her for one of her big kisses and hugs. "Daddy loves you, Gina," I said. I walked into the house with Julie who looked really sad. "Julie, you have four months. I just want you to know I love you with all my heart. Take care of my daughter." "I love you too, Shawn. Please write to me and take care of yourself." We kissed a lover's kiss before I went out and got in my truck and headed to the airport. After returning the rental car, I was on the plane and already missing my family. When I did arrive back in Kuwait, I informed my supervisor that I would just be finishing out my last four months. He told me he could hardly blame me. He wished he could go home also but he had another eight months to go. I stopped at our cashier's office and informed her to send two-thousand dollars out of this months pay and out of each of the following months. We were paid once a month and our money was deposited into our accounts. We could set them up any way we wanted. I saved most of mine but could draw out whatever I needed. We were in a strange country and you never wanted to be caught with a lot of money in your pockets. Other than basic survival money, I carried very little on me. I had most of it sent to an investment banker. It's why I had so much saved. I never told Julie about it. I wanted to make sure we would be together before telling her we had a nice nest egg on which to build our life. I still bought all the candy I could from the commissary. The kids would always come around and they loved the candy and gum that we gave them. I truly felt sorry for all these kids and their families. I always heard war was hell but now I knew it first hand. I worked all day and at night, I would think of Julie and Gina. I would write them letters letting them know how much I missed them. I explained to Julie that it hardly pays to write me back because it sometimes took a month or even two before I would receive the letters. I promised her that I would call her once a month. The first time I called her, she had told me she had just got my letter two days before. She was wondering why I hadn't written her. "Shawn, I received a call from the bank where you had transferred two-thousand dollars to help us out. I want to thank you for that. When I told my dad, he said, 'Shawn is a man of his words. I don't think you should lose him.' " "Tell your dad, thank you and that I agree with him. This call is costing a fortune but I had to talk to you. I'll write you as often as possible. Please kiss my daughter for me and tell her Daddy loves her." "I will Shawn and you take care of yourself. I love you." She hung up. I loved talking to her but then I felt lonely afterwards. I couldn't wait to get home again. I kept two pictures in my pocket all the time. One was of Gina that Julie gave me from her first birthday. The other was of Julie holding Gina on her lap. Her mom had taken it the day I had to leave and thought I might like it. I called the following month and we talked for a few minutes again. She told me there was something she had to tell me, but it would wait till the following month. "What is it? Can't you tell me now?" I asked. "One second, Gina wants to say hi to you." "I heard 'Dada. Hi, dada,' " on the other end of the phone. "Hi, Sweetheart. It's so good to hear your voice. Daddy loves you." In the background I could hear Julie say, "Tell Daddy bye-bye, Gina" Then I heard, "Bye-bye, Dada." then Gina must have hung up the phone. What did Julie have to tell me? Was it that Gina knew a few more words and she let her tell me? Maybe she was going to tell me she was going to remarry me. No matter what it was, it would have to wait till next month. Two months to go and I'd be going home. I worked extra hard the following month. I wanted to do as much as I could to help these families out with schools, housing and the necessities we all enjoy. I called home the following month and Julie answered. "Honey," I said, "last month you said you had something to tell me. Was it Gina learning a few new words?" "No, Shawn. It's much bigger than that. I'm pregnant!" End of chapter 3 One chapter to go. Edited by LadyCibelle and Techsan Comments are welcome and appreciated DG Hear A Swapping Mistake Ch. 04 I couldn't believe the last thing I heard. She said, "Shawn, I'm pregnant and you are the father." I literally dropped the telephone. I picked it up. "It's not possible. I can't father children; you know that." "Shawn, did you ever have your sperm tested to see if you could have kids?" "No, mom told me..." "I talked to your mom too, and she said that there was a good chance that you couldn't have kids. She also said that she never had you checked out and she didn't think you were ever tested." "Julie, are you sure it's..." "Don't even go there, Shawn. I haven't been with any man but you since our divorce, and the only time with you was three months ago when you made love to me. The doctor said I am three months along." I didn't know what to think. Was this déjà-vu all over again? Could I father kids or not? "Shawn," said Julie, "I have all the answers for you but I'm not giving them to you yet. You need to go to your clinic and let them show you in black and white that you can father kids. After you find out the truth, please call me again and we'll finish this conversation. Shawn, I love you and you really are going to be a daddy again." She hung up and I was in total bewilderment. I didn't know what to think. She sounded so... so sure of herself. I knew I had to go to our clinic the next day and get tested. I asked my supervisor for a couple of hours off to go to the clinic. "Is everything all right, Shawn? Are you feeling ok?" he asked. "Yes, sir, it's just something I need checked out. No problem, I'm fine. I'll be back in a couple of hours." No problem could be big problem; I definitely needed to get tested. What if I could have kids? What if I couldn't? Damn, I thought as I headed to the clinic. My mind was pretty much a muddled mess. I finally got over my arrogance and jealousy, accepted Gina as my own and now this. When I got to the clinic, the receptionist asked me what I needed. I told her I needed a sperm test. "Ok, Mr. Ward, the doctor will see you." I knew the doc since I've been in Kuwait for almost seventeen months. "What's this all about, Shawn? Do you think you might have an STD or something?" asked the doc. "No, this is a little embarrassing for me but I need to have my sperm tested to see if it's possible for me to father a child." "Don't tell me you had unprotected sex, Shawn. We tell you guys over and over to be careful over here," said the doc. "It's not like that, Doctor. When I was little my mom was told I might not be able to father children. She didn't tell me till last year. I won't go into the whys and wherefore, but when I went home on leave I made love with the woman I intend to marry. She told me she was pregnant." "Oh, I see. You need to know if you may be able to have children so you know if you fathered this child," said the doctor. "That's it in a nutshell, Doc. Can you help me out here and get the results as soon as possible? I'm kind of going nuts here." "Sure, Shawn," he said as he handed me a small tube. "Shawn, this is kind of a do-it-yourself program. You need to give me a sample of your sperm. You're welcome to go in the back office and take matters in your own hand." I know he wasn't making light of the situation but trying to put me at ease. He reached in a drawer and pulled out an x-rated magazine. He told me it might help. I went in the room and glanced through the magazine. I then started picturing Julie in my mind making love to me. It didn't take long for me to get the doctor his sample. "Shawn, I'll put a rush on it and probably get you the results tomorrow. Stop in after work," said the doc. I went to work and tried to think about anything but my situation. Julie sounded so sure but, what did she know? Why didn't she tell me right then? Damn, the rest of the day was long getting through. That night wasn't a whole lot better. I tossed and turned, my mind wandering about all the 'what if's. I could hardly wait for the results. I went in first thing after work and the doc called me into his office. "Shawn, whoever told you that you couldn't father a child was wrong. There is nothing wrong with your sperm output. I would say that if you were the only man your girlfriend was with, then you are the father," said the doc. "Doc, I don't understand. When we were first together, we had sex hundreds of times and she never got pregnant. Why now? Could something have changed?" "It's just life, Shawn. You may have sex one time and your partner becomes pregnant. There are people who have sex for years, then out of the blue they have a child together. I hope you want this child, Shawn. As you know, we see so many unwanted kids here. I wish you the best," said the doc as I left his office. Now I needed to make a long distance phone call, regardless of the cost. I needed to know what Julie had to say. As I was thinking, I had to wonder if maybe Gina was mine after all. She didn't look like me at all but I had to wonder. Julie answered the phone. "Well, Shawn; what did the doctor tell you?" "He said I can father kids. I have to tell you that all kinds of thoughts went through my mind. Julie, is there any chance that Gina might be my daughter?" I asked, "No, Honey; I'm sorry. You are her father, you're just not her sperm donor," replied Julie. "Please let me explain how I know for sure." "I'm listening," I said. I did notice that she never referred to Mario as anything but a sperm donor. "Back when you walked out on us, I was really mad. Then we got a letter from your lawyer that said, no alimony, no child support. If you don't sign this agreement, we'll take you to court. "I was so surprised seeing such a negative letter that I decided to make sure who the sperm donor was or should I say wasn't? I had Gina's DNA and they said I needed yours to see if it matched. You left a hairbrush here and they got your DNA off of it. When the results came back, it said you weren't the biological father. Of course, we were already pretty sure, but I was praying we were wrong. "After getting the results I signed your divorce documents. I call them yours because I never wanted one." "That was the biggest mistake of my life leaving you. I'm still very sorry for my stupid actions. You deserved better. Ok, what about this pregnancy?" "I was honest with you when I told you I haven't had sexual relations with anyone but you. I did go on a few dates but there was no sex. If you have to know, I did kiss them but that was it. The reason I didn't go any further is because they weren't you, Shawn. I didn't need sex; hell, any girl could get that. I still loved you and was trying to get over you. "After you came home and I saw my old Shawn was back, and even better you were a very caring and loving person, I was still worried about you accepting Gina. When you signed her birth certificate I knew you really cared for her." "I more than care. I love the little girl; she is my daughter and I have the birth certificate to prove it," I kind of laughed. "After you left to go back to Iraq I was saddened. I wanted you to be with us. Gina and I have a calendar and we mark a day of each day till you return. I missed my period; you know my time of the month that you hate? I took a home pregnancy test and it said positive. I didn't know what to think. I was a wreck and made a doctor's appointment and she confirmed the pregnancy. "There was no doubt whatsoever who the father was. It had to be you but why did you and your mom both tell me you couldn't father kids? I went to see your mother and that's when she told me she didn't know for sure about you fathering children. I told her I was pregnant again and there was no doubt in my mind whatsoever. Your mom put her hands over her face and cried; I cried with her. "The reason I didn't tell you last month was I knew you would have doubts. I didn't know if you would believe me and I didn't want to go through all those arguments again. I had a fetus DNA done. They stick a needle into the fetus and check it's DNA. It's called amniocentesis and it's been done for at least 20 years when the doctor think there might be something wrong with a fetus. We matched it with yours that I had tested for Gina, and it was 99.999% that you are the baby's father. It should have been 100% because I'm that sure." I had tears in my eyes listening to Julie. I was going to be a father. Julie didn't know the sex of the baby yet but said she would know when I got home the following month. Julie said, "Shawn, there is something I need to ask you." "What is it, Sweetheart?" I asked. "Will you marry me?" she asked. "Aren't I suppose to ask you?" I said. "You asked me last time. I thought I'd ask you this time," she replied. "I'll marry you as soon as I get home. I love you, Julie, and I love my daughter and my new baby, whatever sex it is. I love God, and I love the world." "Easy, Honey; we love you too and we'll be waiting for you. Oh, you can sleep at the apartment till we get married. Just thought you might like to know," said Julie. -------------------- The month couldn't get over fast enough for me. I still stopped at Ar'med's once a week. On my last night there, I had dinner with them and gave each of his kids a big box of chocolates I had ordered in. I gave his wife Fatima a couple of hair berets, which she wore to hold her long hair up. She smiled and thanked me. I gave Ar'med five hundred dollars. It was a lot of money for him but he was so good to me and I knew he could help defray some of his expenses. "Why you do this? You work hard for money. You very nice man," said Ar'med. "Ar'med, you have taught me so much in the short time I've known you. I have found out what unconditional love is by the way you took in Aadam and the other orphaned kids into your family. "You give hope and instruction to everyone you meet. You are what I considered a great man and I'm a better man just for knowing you." He said with a smile, "Peace be with you, Shawn Ward. You take care of yourself and your new family." I had told him about me getting married as soon as I got home. I gave him and Aadam a big hug and went on my way. I was happy to finally be leaving Kuwait and Iraq. I do have to say that in eighteen months I learned a lifetime of knowledge. The people, the culture and true acts of kindness, not only from them but from our own military as well. They are a dedicated group of young men and women who are so underpaid and unappreciated. ---------------------- Julie was at the door waiting for me this time. She kissed me and told me how much she loved me. Little Gina wanted me to pick her up so she could give me one of those big kisses and a hug. I noticed Julie was getting a little belly and I reached down and rubbed it. "It's your son," she said. I know I had the biggest smile on my face. I hugged my little girl and told her she was going to have a little brother. We all sat down and she rubbed her mother's little belly and smiled. We did a lot of talking and discussed different issues. She said the whole family knew about the baby and that we were getting married on Saturday. We had to go the next day to get our marriage license. We decided to just go to a local judge for our nuptials. After talking it over, this was just to make it legal again. We would use our original marriage date as our anniversary day. I had to laugh when we went to the clerk of court's office and got the same clerk that we had when I raised a stink about Gina's birth certificate. I knew she recognized us since it was only four months ago and I had raised a stink. "Can I help you, sir?" she looked at me wondering what I wanted this time. "Yes, we want to apply for a marriage license," I said. I know she had to wonder what was going on. She looked over at Julie who was smiling, almost laughing, and saw her pregnant belly. "Yes, sir," she said. "I need to see both of your birth certificates and drivers licenses, if you don't mind." She started filling out the information and looked at us when she noticed we had the same last name. We knew she had to wonder what was going on. I looked at her name tag. "Brenda, I made a big mistake and divorced her. It was the biggest mistake of my life. We need to get remarried before our son is born." She gave me kind of an odd look and we signed our names and left. We saw Brenda telling her supervisor about us as we left. It made us laugh. I would like to say we waited till we got married before making love. We didn't! We made love every day. We just had to be quiet with Gina in the next room. I would put Gina to bed each night and read her books till she fell asleep. By the time I made it to the bedroom, Julie would be waiting for me. I honestly have to say that she glowed like you read in the magazines. She also never refused me sex while she was pregnant. I guess being pregnant did a job on her hormones. I loved it. On our wedding night, Julie's mother took Gina as Julie and I headed for the motel. The sex was absolutely great. Julie would give me head which was something she never liked to do much. She would hold her hand around my cock so just the head would show and she would put it in her warm mouth. Damn, did that feel good! She said she didn't mind the pre-cum but didn't want me going off in her mouth. She had a better place for those deposits. She also wanted to be on top when giving oral sex. I loved it when we did a sixty-nine. I could eat her out forever if she let me. I started putting my finger in her butt hole while tonguing her. God, could she ever move her ass. "You want it, don't you?" she asked. "Want what?" I asked. "You want to fuck me in the ass," she smiled. "We've never done it but I'm willing to try. If I say stop, you have to stop, ok?" Of course, I agreed. I got behind her in a doggie position. We used some KY jelly and I rubbed it into her ass hole. I also put a goodly amount on my cock head. I put my cock against her butt hole and pushed it in slowly. "Hold it," said Julie. "You don't have to stop but I need to get used to it. Ok, push it in some more." I had my whole cock head in her ass. I pushed in a little more and then gently began to fuck her. "Oh, shit! Shawn, it feels so weird. Just take your time, Honey." We did this for about ten minutes. Because of all the previous foreplay I told her I was about to come. "Can I come in your ass?" I asked. "Yes, give it to me. Shoot it in me; you can even push it in deeper, just go slow." I had two-thirds of my cock in her ass when I shot my load. I couldn't believe how good it felt. I could feel and hear Julie climaxing. As soon as she calmed down I pulled my cock out of her ass and we heard a light pop. It was her asshole closing. As she lay next to me I asked," What do you think? Will we ever do it again?" "It was different and I wouldn't mind it once in awhile but not as an everyday thing. I just wanted you to know how much I love you and will always try to please you. Right now, I have to go to the bathroom. After that load you shot up my ass, I feel like I have to shit," she laughed. After she came back, we rested. We did make love later that night but right now we needed to rest. --------------------- I had a month off before I had to start back to work with my old company. It was the same one that I worked overseas for. My boss said he was glad to have me back. He even gave me a raise although it wasn't anything near what I made overseas. I told Julie that I wanted to go house hunting. I wanted our family to have a house of our own. I explained to her about my savings and that we could use a little for a down payment and buy some new furniture. We had everyone looking for us. Julie's mom said that there was a nice house two doors down from theirs and it said immediate occupancy. We took a look at it, and it would be perfect for us. Julie's mom could actually watch the kids at our house or her own, while we were working. It would save us a lot of time. We talked it over and bought it. A week later, we could start moving in even though the paperwork wasn't complete. We gave them the down payment. The rest was just a formality and paperwork. I knew it was hard on Julie working and then helping to pack our things. Our parents and I did as much as possible. We made trip after trip with personal items. Julie and I decided to buy a lot of newer furniture. A lot of what we had was given to me when I first moved into the apartment. We were all very busy but very happy. Gina hardly ever left my side. God, I loved her. She was having fun packing her toys in boxes; she felt she was actually helping. Of course, I took her out for ice cream or McDonald's on every trip we made to our new house. It was still hard for me to deny my little girl anything. Julie said she had me wrapped around her finger and she was right. On the day we went to see the caretaker and turn in our keys to our apartment, he asked us if we saw the cops there the day before. "No, Jim, we were busy moving. What did they want?" "They were looking for Mario. I guess he was selling drugs or something and got caught. He posted bond and skipped out of town before his court date. I guess it was a second offense and he knew he was going to prison. The cops were checking out his prior residencies. I told them he hasn't been around here since he left." "I hope he never comes back. I'm not big on drug dealers around my kids," I said. Jim spoke. "You have to admit he had one smoking hot woman. What I wouldn't have given to get a piece of that." He looked over at Julie. "I'm sorry, just some crazy guy talk. All I meant is she was a nice looking woman," said Jim apologetically. Julie looked over at me knowing I should respond. She was waiting to see what I would say about Maria. "She was a nice looking woman, Jim; too bad she got stuck with such a loser. I also feel sorry for her kids. I honestly don't think she could hold a candle to my Julie though," I smiled. "All the pretty women have left my apartments," he smiled. "The cops did say that they thought that Mario took his girlfriend and the kids back to Mexico." "I just hope he stays there. Well, Jim, you've been a great caretaker. Hope you get a couple of good looking women in our apartment," I laughed as we left for our new house. ------------------- After we got moved into the our house, we decided to have a barbeque. Mom, Dad, Julie's parents and my sister Joyce all came to join us. Everyone brought a covered dish and we had way more than enough food. The conversation got around to naming the new baby. It started out rather normal with everyone suggesting names. I told them I didn't want to call him Shawn Jr. or the 2nd. I wanted him to be his own person. They kept coming up with names, none of which seemed right. Julie told her dad that she loved him but wasn't going to name her son Harold. She did kind of name Gina after her mother, Virginia. Someone had suggested Ed after my father. Julie mentioned it would be alright for a middle name but she wasn't particularly fond of it as the baby's first name. Then they came up with a bunch of crazy names like Hulk, Tarzan and then started on the biblical names like Hosea, or Job. Everyone was coming up with really crazy stuff and everyone was laughing. Gina came up to me with a book and I told everyone I was going to sit on the chaise lounge and read Gina a story. I started reading when Gina pointed to the picture and said, "Mikey". "No, Honey, it's Mickey," I replied. Everyone stopped talking and looked at me. "What?" I said. "I'm right. It's Mickey Mouse. Why are you all looking at me like that?" "The baby's name," said Julie. "I'm not calling my son Mickey Mouse," I laughed. A Swapping Mistake Ch. 04 "No, not what you said; what Gina said. Mikey, it's short for Michael which is your middle name. What does everyone think of Michael Edward Ward?" said Julie. Well, that's what everyone agreed on. Inside my heart, I really felt good. The next couple of months were busy and our life was great. I was at work when I got the call again to head for the hospital. I rushed as fast as I could go. When I got there, Julie was already in the birthing room. Our parents were all there. Mom said Joyce was taking care of Gina but wanted to be called as soon as Mikey arrived. It was time for the delivery. My mom and the two dads went to the waiting room. Julie's mom and I were inside the room again waiting for the arrival of Mikey, as Gina called him. I would be lying if I said negative thoughts didn't enter my mind. Let's face it, everything was so similar. I could hardly wait for it to be over. Julie grabbed my hand as the baby arrived. I hadn't seen him yet but Virginia was smiling. The nurse cleaned him off and handed him to me. He was a beautiful baby, almost bald with a little bit of blond hair. "Welcome to the Ward family, Mikey. You are one very luck little boy who has family who really loves you." I know I was the happiest man alive as I handed my son to Julie. I walked out in the waiting room and told the family to come and meet my son. As they entered the room, I called Joyce to let her know. She also put Gina on the phone so I could tell her about her beautiful little brother. Authors Note: Life isn't always easy. Not everyone always makes the same or even right decisions. Sometimes we have to hit a low spot or meet people in lot worse situations to know how good we really have it. We all make mistakes. True character is how we are able to overcome our faults. Many comments have said the characters aren't redeemable. I believe young people make many mistakes in their life. Some to their own stupidity. I would like to believe most young people are able to change their paths in life and lead good lives. I often wonder if we knew the total truth about everyone we know, family members, neighbors, friends, even spouses, what would our opinion be? What if they knew everything there is to know about us? Just something to think about. A big 'Thank You to my Editors, LadyCibelle and Techsan for staying with me on this one. Also thanks goes out to Jake Rivers for his suggestions. Thank you for reading my story Comments are welcome and appreciated. DG Hear A Swapping Mistake The baby arrived and we heard her crying. Julie's mom looked at me and I looked over at the baby. She had black hair and had dark skin. Not black but kind of an olive color. My worst thoughts had just hit me. The baby was not mine but Mario's. Julie hadn't seen the baby yet but the look on my face must have been shock as Julie asked, "What's the matter? Is my baby alright?" The doctor said the baby's fine. The nurse cleaned off the little baby and handed her to Julie. Julie had tears in her eyes as she looked at her baby and then at me. I couldn't speak, my mind was a mess. My worst nightmare had just happened. I was walking out of the birthing room when Julie asked me where I was going, I told her I didn't know, I needed time to think as I walked out of the room. My parents saw the tears in my eyes as I came to the waiting room. Some of our relatives were there waiting with mom and dad and also with Julie's dad. "What is it, Shawn? Is the baby alright?" asked my mother. "The baby's fine," I replied. You can all go and see her now." I walked to the elevators hearing my folks yelling at me, asking me where I was going. I didn't answer, because I honestly didn't know. I went to a local bar and had a couple of drinks. I waited about two hours before going back to the hospital. I knew I had to face the situation sooner or later. What was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life turned into a disaster. My dad was waiting for me in the lobby. He told me he saw the baby and asked what I was going to do? "I don't know, dad; I love Julie but I know it's not my kid." Dad told me there was all kind of arguments after I left. Everyone was picking sides and Julie cried almost the whole time I was gone. I walked in the room and Julie was there with my mom and her mother. I asked them both to please step out so I could talk to Julie alone. "I'm so sorry, Shawn. You have to believe me; I did believe the baby was yours. I was only with Mario the one time and I've never been with another man since we've been married. I asked the doctor again and he said it's easy to be off by a week. He didn't know that date was so important. What are we going to do? I love you so much." "Julie, I can't raise a child that's not mine, I'm sorry. Give the baby up for adoption and we can go on the way we have been. I can take the heat and we'll just tell people you made a mistake." "What? I made a mistake? What about you, Shawn? It was you that let all this happen. I went along and am now paying the price. Why can't you just tell the truth and we'll take our daughter home and be a family?" "She's not my daughter. She's Mario's. Let him have her. I'm not raising a kid that's not mine. You have a choice; you keep the baby and I'm gone." "You can't be serious? It's my baby! I've carried her for the last nine months. I love you with all my heart, but I'm not giving up my baby because of what people think or say." I went home that night but couldn't sleep. My mind was a mess. I knew some people would be calling Julie all sorts of names. They didn't know the truth; she didn't deserve it. I remembered my mother didn't seem overly surprised. I went to see her the next day and I asked her why. "Shawn, when you were just a child you had rheumatic fever and the mumps at the same time. The doctor said at the time that you would fully recover but there might be a chance that you may not be able to father children." "What? Why didn't you ever tell me?" "You're only twenty-two and I was waiting to see if you were able to have kids. I had no reason to scare you while growing up. When Julie got pregnant, I was so happy for you but I did wonder." "Mom, you should have told me." "What good would that have done? As I told you, the doctor said maybe you wouldn't be able to father children. What are you going to do now, Shawn?" My dad had come into the room. I know he looked very disappointed. He was crazy about Julie but now this. He asked me if I knew who the father was. While we were talking, my sister Joyce came into the room She said that after I had left the hospital she had a talk with Julie. "I asked Julie why she had an affair on my brother, because you love her so much. "Julie said, 'Joyce, I love Shawn and I didn't cheat on him. I would never do that. I really did believe that the baby was his.' " "Shawn," said Joyce. "I believe her. I think she is telling the truth. When I asked her more questions she said I needed to talk to you. What the hell is going on, Shawn? We're family and willing to help you but we need the truth." What could I do? I told them the truth. I saw the sad look on their faces. I just couldn't go through life with them thinking that Julie was a slut that cheated on me. I know I hurt them. No parents want to think of their kid doing what I did. I tried to explain that we had too much to drink; I never told them about the weed. Of course I did tell them it was Mario and Maria. I was pretty sure they had it figured out already. "It was a one time thing and a giant mistake. I'm so sorry for letting you down as parents. I hope you don't hate me." "Shawn, you're our son. We hate what you did, but we don't hate you or Julie. Maybe you two were just too young and probably shouldn't have even gotten married yet. Now there is a baby in the picture and she's not yours. What are your plans?" asked mom. "I gave Julie a choice. The baby or me. I told her to give the baby up for adoption and we could go on with our lives." "She's not giving up her daughter, Shawn. She already told me that. You can imagine how hard this must be on her," said my sister. "I can't do it! I can't raise a child that I know isn't mine." I know I had tears in my eyes. I went in and talked to Julie one more time. She told me again how much she loved me but she wasn't giving up her little girl, even if it meant losing the man she loved more than anyone but her daughter. ---------------------------------------- The next day I went in and saw my supervisor and told him I was taking the job overseas. Next, I went to see a lawyer. I was now mad at Julie. She picked this baby over me. Well, I thought she could raise the child by herself or contact Mario and let him support his kid. Julie's parents picked her and the baby up at the hospital and brought them home. I tried one more time to reason with her but she was adamant about the kid; she was going to keep her. I contacted a lawyer and he said if I was tested and the child was proven not to be mine I wouldn't have to give Julie either child support or alimony. We weren't married that long. I lived at my parents' for the next two weeks before going overseas. I never even said goodbye to the woman I thought I loved. I let her have everything we owned except for a few suitcases of my clothes. We didn't have much and I didn't have to pay anything in support. My parents stayed out of it but my sister told me I was making a huge mistake, that Julie loved me and I was giving up the best thing in my life. I told Joyce that the decision was made by Julie, she had a choice and the choice she made was the baby that wasn't mine. I left for Iraq the next day. ------------------------ I was extremely busy my first month in the Iraq-Kuwait area. My specialty was doing electrical work and some of these areas were devastated. The problem was the destruction was so bad we had weeks of cleanup before we could even begin rebuilding. We went one building at a time, cleaning up the debris and then started reconstruction and in many cases, rebuilding the different structures. It was far from a cakewalk. So much rubble and waste needed to be cleaned up. We began with hospitals and schools. I even worked late at night trying to make life a little more bearable for these people. I felt good doing my part to help restore these buildings and help these casualties of war. They were just innocent people who were bombed by some of their own people. Most of us workers slept in a building together. We had the necessities like water and electricity. It was kind of like sharing a dorm with schoolmates except we were all grown men just trying to make an extra buck. Most were single or divorced like me. There were a few married men also. I knew how both sides felt. I was there three months when my divorce papers came through. I was so hoping it wouldn't happen, but it did. I went outside by myself and cried. Julie was the best thing that ever happened to me but because of our stupid swapping night and Julie not giving up the baby, we were no longer married. Of course I thought of Julie often. She's one of the reasons I worked so late. As long as I was working, my mind didn't focus on Julie. Another month went by when I received a letter from my sister Joyce who asked me to call her. Phone calls were expensive so I only made calls about once a month. It was usually my mom or Joyce I talked to. She told me that Julie agreed to sign the divorce papers and let me have my freedom. I felt bad; I didn't want freedom, I wanted Julie. I had told Joyce that I asked my lawyer to locate Mario and start proceedings to get support for Julie and the baby. Joyce told me that Julie put a stop to it. She didn't want any help from Mario; in fact she didn't want him to know about Gina. Gina is what Julie named the baby. She was named after her mother whose name was Virginia. "Joyce, how is Julie doing?" I asked. "She's doing alright for a divorced mother with a child," replied Joyce. God, that hurt! I didn't want to argue with Joyce. That part was over with. We agreed to disagree. She was my sister and I loved her but I don't think she understood what I was going through either. I wanted Julie; I just didn't want to raise a kid that wasn't mine. "Shawn, I'd lied to you," said Joyce. "Physically Julie is doing fine. Financially, she is in kind of a bind. I know her mom and dad are helping her out some and children's services are helping her also. The baby was sick and was in the hospital a few days and Julie didn't have the finances to cover it." "Is the baby alright?" I asked. "She's fine now. She caught a cold and it turned into pneumonia. Of course she didn't have any insurance since the divorce and the baby wasn't covered under yours since you didn't claim her. They ran up about an eight thousand dollar bill that Julie has to make payments on each month. "If she would have gone after Mario, he would have been responsible for his kid and have to help support her. Why didn't she do it? My lawyer was going to help her." "She doesn't want Mario in the baby's life. If she would go after him for support, he would have a right to see Gina anytime. He could actually get custody part-time. Julie wants nothing to do with him. The birth certificate says, 'father unknown' and she wants to keep it that way." I finished talking to my sister and sat and thought for a while. I contacted my lawyer and asked him if I sent any money to Julie would I be obligating myself in anyway. I wanted to help her a little financially but not be held accountable for any support in the future. He told me I could always make a gift to anyone. It would in no-way make me responsible. He mentioned it would be best to do it through a family member rather than directly from me. I contacted my mom and asked her if she has ever seen Julie. She was almost mute for about what seemed like a minute but was probably only a few seconds. "Yes, Shawn. We see Julie every week. She brings the baby over and we visit for a couple of hours." "What? I can't believe this! My own parents are turning against me," I said. "No, Shawn, it's not like that at all. We have always liked Julie and she visits with us. She takes her baby wherever she goes. She's doesn't talk bad of you at all. In fact she always asks about you." "It's not my kid, Mom; doesn't anyone understand that?" "We all understand, Shawn. Nobody's blaming you for anything. It doesn't mean we can't be friends with Julie, does it?" "I'm sorry, Mom. I guess I'm just thinking stupid. Look, Mom, Joyce said that Julie is having some financial problems. Is that true? "Yes, Gina was sick and she had some medical expenses. Why are you asking?" "I want to help. I'm making a lot of money and investing most of it. I want to send some money and I want you to give it to Julie to help pay up some of her expenses." I heard my mom crying on the other end of the phone. "Mom, stop crying, please. Look, just give it to her and don't tell her it's from me." "No, Shawn, I'm not lying to her. We'll tell her the truth. How much will you be sending Shawn? "Joyce said her debt was around eight thousand dollars. I'll transfer ten thousand. That should help her pay off her debt. Mom, I love you and you take care. I have to go now." I put more time into my work. I was working twelve to sixteen hours a day. I got a letter from my mom saying that she gave Julie the check and she cried for an hour. It made me cry. Damn, why is life so cruel? * Thank you for reading chapter 1. A big Thank You to LadyCibelle and Techsan for editing this story. Comments are always welcome and appreciated. DG Hear