0 comments/ 13852 views/ 0 favorites Transcript By: Jonesinforsugar Jones: So, she's a sexy bad girl, and me the sexy girl next door...this should be interesting. Jones: Where do you want us? Jones: Hmmm, shower.... I get home from work, all stressed, and decide I need a hot shower, she's not home, probably out running. So I'm stripping in front of the mirror, running my hands over my body. I feel so sexy as the room fills with steam from the running shower. I get in and grab a sponge and start to lather thick foam all over my body, and rub all the sore places. Jones: The water feels good, it runs over my breasts, and my nipples are hard from the pressure of the flow, hmmm. I'm all slick. I'm thinking of you, and I'm running my hands over my aching breasts and my fingers are digging into my hot pussy. Jones: mmmm Jones: My eyes are closed, and I'm so turned on and I'm so into my fingers sliding into my tight pussy that I don't notice that my roommate has come home. Jones: I open my eyes as I feel her slide into the shower behind me, but I don't stop, my fingers circle my clit, and I smile at her. "Need some help?" she laughs, and takes the soap to wash my back. Jones: I can feel her tight body press against me, her nipples practically stab me in the back. Her hands run over my back, around my sides, she's cupping my breasts, squeezing my nipples, she sucks one earlobe into her mouth and nibbles it slightly. Jones: My knees go weak, and turning we kneel facing each other in the steam and heat, the water pouring down on our bodies. Jones: God she's beautiful and I can't get enough of her, I'm sucking on her warm skin, licking her nipples, reaching back to grab that sweet ass...oh god. Jones: Her long slim fingers find their way to my throbbing pussy and she slides two in, her thumb circles my hard clit... Jones: mmmmmmmmmmmmm Jones: We kiss like we're both haven't eaten in a decade...hmmm Jones: Her fingers work furiously, as I kiss all over her sweet body. God it feels good! Jones: Then I know I'm gonna come, and she pulls my nipple hard as I spill over her hand and clutch her in my convulsions. Jones: hmmmmm, ah Jones: Then we're giggling as she finishes washing and we spill out of the steamy bathroom still wet. I chase her to the bedroom, where we fall on the bed kissing. Jones: I wrestle her to the bottom and pin her down, I'm kissing her neck and she arches her back and moans...mmmm Jones: "Your turn!" I whisper in her ear, and slowly work my way down her wet shiny body, licking away the drops of water. I suck and tease her nipples, and then kiss her belly, then I am there, and she knows what's coming...But still, she calls out in surprise as my lips close over her clit. Jones: She tastes so clean, and hot, and wet, and I moan into her pussy with the joy of it! Her hands tangle in my wet hair as she rocks her hips to my tongue. Jones: "God, I love how you eat pussy!" she moans. "Is it better than me?" comes a deep voice from behind me. Jones: I laugh in delight that you are home, but I don't come up from her sweet pussy.. Jones: What are you gonna do? Jones: You wanna go over and have her suck you awhile while you watch me eat her out? Jones: Or are you too tempted by my ass in the air? Jones: Hmmm, decisions... Jones: I'm gonna go with her sucking you for now (but feel free to tell me where to go). Jones: So, laughing, you walk toward her eager face, unzipping your fly, and you grab her hair and she opens wide for it. "Swallow my cock, horny bitch!" you growl at her, and she does. Jones: I look up from the sweet pussy, and you've got your hands fisted in her hair, and are fucking her face, and she's loving it! OH god, I'm so hot just thinking about it... Jones: You aren't even undressed, just have your cock out, and you balls smack her on the chin with each thrust...is there any better sound in the world? Jones: You look at me, "Did I tell you to stop eating pussy, slut?" Jones: So I dive back into that hot pussy and lick it for all it's worth. She's going crazy, I know she's gonna cum. She loves sucking cock and my tongue and two fingers are driving her mad! Jones: mmmmmmmmmmmm Jones: You won't let her go! It takes alot of control for her to breathe with a mouth full of cock and her orgasm rushing through her. But that's how you like it, pushing us to the limits! We like it that way too, and you know it! Jones: You take your cock out when she's done and tap it on her lips and she obediently sticks out her tongue for you to smack with your cock. I know what to do, and I get up and find the toy we need... Jones: I come back with a strap on, and her eyes go huge! This is new to her. We haven't done this to her yet. She's still sucking cock and you're finally slipping out of your work clothes... Jones: You wanna fuck me while I fuck her, or us both fuck her? Jones: You pull your cock out of her mouth and shove her to me where I'm standing, "Suck hers for awhile!" you command and like a puppy she rushes to please you. Jones: The strap-on's big, 8 inches, but soft and bendy and she dives onto it, getting it all wet and sloppy while you come up behind me... Jones: I'm watching her, getting so turned on... You grab my hair and pull my head to the side so you can feast on my neck and ears and I have to lock my knees to stay standing. If I crumple I'm in trouble... Jones: "You wanna be the man?" you whisper and I nod just a little, and you squeeze my tits and I moan...ahhh Jones: "Well then be a man and fuck the whore!" you are growling again and you push me away. Jones: I look down at that blonde head going crazy on my "cock" and I'm going crazy! I wrap my hands in her hair and pull her up to my mouth and kiss her...HARD. I can taste blood, hers or mine? I don't know, who cares? She's clutching at me, excited and hot... Jones: I spin her around and grab her hips while pushing her forward so she bends and that sweet ass is there in the air for me...yum! Jones: I look back at you, you're spitting on your cock, and grinning at me. "Go on, fuck her!" you say and she's begging for it. So, I slip that big cock into her pussy and she moans and you grunt. I know I'm doing good. Jones: The world goes red and fuzzy and I'm focused on that ass.I can't stand it being so white so I smack her, spank her hard. She presses back into me, moaning... Jones: I'm fucking her hard and smacking her cheeks every once in awhile and your fist is flying over your cock, I don't know how long you'll wait, and that drives me crazier... Jones: It's building and I know she's gonna come again. The juices are running down my thighs and I don't know how much longer I can wait for you to decide... Jones: I know it's coming, but when? Jones: and then she crying out and collapsing under me and I go to my knees and you're there, as I lean forward over her... Jones: You spit on my asshole and slide your lubed cock in slowly as I settle to the floor, until your buried in my ass... like I'm buried in her still throbbing pussy. Jones: "Play with my ass," you say. Jones: I can't reach it from where I am, so I look at her, soft and compliant as she is, having cummed twice, she is so beautiful. So I smack her, "Do as he says!" I snap at her. Jones: She scrambles, until she's kneeling beside us. You grab her to kiss her as her hand trails down your back... Jones: She cups your balls first, just a little squeeze as you start to fuck my ass faster... then she's teasing your hole, tickling it, rubbing it... Jones: You're sucking her nipples and squeezing mine and she's wiggling her finger into your hole. It's so tight... just one knuckle in... Jones: You bite my neck, and fuck me harder! As she slips that finger in all the way and gets it at the right angle, you moan low as she gets just the right spot... Jones: I know I need to talk dirty to you now. Jones: "Yeah? You like that, you like your little whore with her finger in your ass as you fuck your slut?" I grind out as you fuck me harder still... Jones: Do you? Jones: "You like coming home to see your sluts going at each other, huh? Like having all these holes to bury your big cock in..." Jones: And god it feels good too, your cock in my ass...hmmmm Jones: You pull out of me. I know what you need now. She' completely confused...but I just push her out of the way for now as you fall to your knees and bend over.. Jones: and I'm behind you now.. Jones: Tell me you want it! Tell me! Jones: And you do... by pressing back to me and saying, "Please!" Jones: You got it! I slide it slow, real slow into your ass... inch by fucking inch. I know you can't take it all, so I stop when it's far enough... Jones: "What am I doing?" I ask you as I pull you hair and you arch your back, moaning... Jones: Tell me! Or I might have to punish you! Jones: The girl has recovered from the shock of seeing all this and has decided she could at least rub my nipples, "Go!" I tell her, "In front of him, put your ass in his face!" Jones: Maybe you can help me with the rest?? Transcript Interviewer: Rebecca Staltzman Adam: 32 years old, athletic build, dark hair, thin beard, technology writer Julia: 28 years old, pretty, with long, wavy, light brown hair, thin but curvy figure, published author and junior partner at large accounting firm * Interviewer: Welcome to another installment of Intimate Portrayals; I'm Rebecca Staltzman. Today I'm here with Julia and Adam to talk about how they got together and some of their more, ah, intriguing interests. Julia: Hi. Adam: Hi there. Interviewer: So why don't we start by talking about how you guys met. (couple exchanges glances) Adam: I'll take this one. Um, we met up in Walnut Creek— Julia: Totally the 'burbs— Adam: Yeah, totally. I was there for this technology conference— Interviewer: You're a writer, aren't you? Adam: Yes, I do some freelance technology writing and I'm also an editor and a columnist at a couple of tech news sites. And the day I met Julia, I was with some of my co-workers at this conference, and we were stuck inside this ugly building for the better part of a morning. So, when we broke for lunch, a bunch of us went outside because there was this little farmer's market sort of thing outside with locally grown food, which is something I'm kind of into. Julia: And that's where I was. Adam: Yeah, the guys and I are walking down this path, and we turn a corner and I see the first booth, and I see the girl working at it, and she's the most striking female I've ever seen. Interviewer: Aww. Adam: No, I mean it, I was just stunned. And we sort of locked eyes for a second— Julia: We did. Adam: And when I looked away I was just thinking: wow. Interviewer: So did you buy anything from her? Adam: Well, what happened was that the other guys were blowing the whole thing off, and they were trying to figure out where they want to go to lunch. I just told them I'd meet them back at the conference, later on. And so then I take another stealthy glance at her, to get one really good look at her, and here is this lovely, willowy girl, long, flowing brown hair, and I see that she's putting her hair into a ponytail, with her arms up behind her head. It was a hot day, it was July, and she was wearing a tank top. Anyway, I realize that she's got this beautiful, thick underarm hair, and I'm just even more blown away, because—I'm not necessarily into hairy girls, really—but somehow the armpit hair just emphasizes how beautiful she is, her face, her body, everything about her. It just didn't make any difference at all in how hot she is. I am just stunned, and I realize right then that I have to know her. And while she's doing this, putting her hair up, she looks right at me and we lock eyes again. Interviewer: Julia, I guess this is a good time to discuss your shaving habits. Julia: Or lack thereof! Actually, it's just my underarms; I shave my legs and other places. Interviewer: What made you stop shaving under your arms? Julia: I'm not sure. It's not that I'm lazy or anything. I think I just like the way it looks, the contrast between modern beauty and the raw primitive. It just works for me. Oh, and also, I like the shock factor. I like the "people say I'm a pretty girl but I have a lot of hair under my arms" sort of contradiction. Adam: I like it. Although I never thought of it being "the raw primitive." Maybe it is, though. It is sort of primitive in a way. It was attractive, literally, like I was thinking "this girl has balls." It did make me want to meet her. Immediately. Julia: And so he just walked right up to me and introduced himself. Adam: I did. Like "Hi, my name is Adam and I'm a Libra." Julia: (laughing) You didn't tell me your sign. Adam: Well, I felt pretty cheesy just walking up like that, but like I said, I couldn't help myself. Julia: So here's this cute, interesting guy talking to me, chatting me up, and I'm not selling any of this gluten-free crap my friend made anyway, so what the hell? Plus, I catch him sneaking glances under my arms, and I can tell that he likes the hair, and that's kind of turning me on. That shock value. Adam: That shirt was just such a bold, I-don't-give-a-shit-what-you-think move. Julia: You mean the tank top? Adam: Yeah. Julia: And he was looking at my boobs— Adam: I was not! Julia: Oh, you were, too. I liked it! I liked the attention. You were looking at my face, too, so it was all good. Adam: Yeah, well—I could barely believe you were real. I still feel that way, but I was in shock. (Julia gives Adam a peck on the lips.) Julia: So at this point, we're talking, and we just have this amazing immediate chemistry, like we know exactly how to talk with each other, and we immediately like each other, we know how to get along. I liked the way he smelled. And so I just asked him out. Adam: Actually we were talking about where we lived, and when we figured out that we both lived in the City— Julia: Adam was in the Mission, and I was in Potrero Hill. So I just say: "Why don't we go do something tomorrow night?" Adam: This was on a Thursday, I think, and so Friday night was kind of obvious. Interviewer: So where did he take you? Julia: (laughing) Well, I asked him out, so it was on me. He wouldn't let me pay for dinner, but I did choose what we did. Which was just dinner, and then a little club on Potrero Hill where we could talk without yelling. Adam: Which was a good idea. Julia: Yeah, I mean, we could've done dancing or something, but we'd had such a good time talking that I figured we should do more of that. With drinks, of course. Interviewer: Julia, just curious: what did you wear? Julia: Well, Adam just had on jeans and some kind of hipster plaid shirt, if I remember. Adam: Yup. Julia: And I had on this white sleeveless dress with a flower print ... Interviewer: Sleeveless is a thing with you. Julia: Well, yeah, and I picked it partly because Adam seemed so enthused with my armpits and everything. I figured it might get him excited. Adam: It did. (Both laugh). Adam: Anyway, so this club has a little backyard area, and we were back there, and by about midnight there was no one else around us, I don't think. Everyone had gone inside. Julia: And we'd been talking for a couple of hours at that point. Finally, I'm like: "Adam, we're both just shy of drunk, and you can tell that I like you, so why the fuck don't you kiss me?" Because I was ready at that point. Interviewer: Ready for anything? Julia: Well, not quite ready for that, if you mean full-on sex— I actually told him that, later on—but I was ready to kiss him. Adam: So I did. Julia: You did indeed. There was no one else around in this club's backyard, which was really kind of surprising, but it meant we could just make out like crazy. Adam: Yeah, crazy's a good word. Interviewer: How so? Julia: Well, I was pretty aroused at this point, and I had to tell him that I was all but ready to go home with him, but there was no way, not on the first night. Adam: Which I totally understood. I knew I really liked her, so I didn't want us to start things out like it was just a one-night stand. Julia: Anyway, like I said, I'd gotten a little too excited. Adam: Keep in mind, we're in public still, so no one's groping or anything. We're just, you know, embracing. Interviewer: I get the feeling you're leading up to something. Julia: I came. Interviewer: Wait, you had an orgasm? Julia: Yeah. Right there. Interviewer: From kissing? Julia: Yeah. It had actually happened once before, a long time before. I was pretty young. And also, I knew someone else that would have this happen, all the time, in fact. I had this friend in high school, Kristen, was all determined to stay a virgin, and she wouldn't let guys touch her anywhere, nowhere. Hands off! But she'd have a big make-out session with some guy, and she'd come, sometimes more than once, just from the kissing. Interviewer: Wow, sounds kind of unfair for the guy she was with. Julia: Oh, well, what the fuck, he was just gonna go home and jack off anyway. Interviewer: True. Julia: Anyway, OK, so yeah, I came. Adam: I feel this big noise coming from her throat, and I break the kiss because I'm afraid she's epileptic and she's having a grand mal seizure or something. Julia: And I just force him back to me and kept kissing him, and that's when the orgasm actually started. Interviewer: Adam, when did you realize what was happening? Adam: After she told me. I figured she was all right if she wanted to keep kissing, but I had no idea what was really going on until she stopped to catch her breath, and she told me. Interviewer: What was your reaction? Adam: I was blown away, again. This girl is amazing, I was thinking. Interviewer: Did you go home and jack off? Adam: (laughing) Yes, of course I did. Julia: I should mention something: this had nothing to do with Vitamin E—I'm not on Vitamin E, never have been. Interviewer: For our readers, you're referring to the NeoEstrus, the female sex drive enhancement medication, which is commonly called Vitamin E? Julia: Yes. I'm not on it, wasn't on it; what happened between us just happened on its own. Adam: (laughing) She doesn't need help from a pill! Julia: Apparently not! Anyway. So I wanted to see him immediately, like the very next day, but I had to go to Sacramento on Saturday, and there was no way I was getting out of it. Adam: So we just went out on Sunday. Interviewer: Did you spend all Saturday jacking off? Adam: (laughing) No comment. Julia: (laughing) I had him just come over to my place on Sunday afternoon—my roommate was out of town, so it was perfect—and I made him dinner. And then, after some wine, I took advantage of him. Interviewer: You went all the way with him? Julia: I stood in front of him and took off my dress and my underwear and everything, and asked him to come to the bedroom. We did it with the lights on, in fact, right? Adam: Yeah, they were on. Loved that. I mean, Julia looks amazing naked, and here she is riding me, grinding and fucking, and she's got her arms in the air, and I'm looking up at her face, and her big boobs, and her underarm hair ... it's amazing I held out for five minutes. Julia: I think it was more like 10. But we did it about three times that night, so I didn't end up caring when he came. I just made him rise to the occasion again. Interviewer: And you guys have been living together for ...? Julia: For a year now. A little over a year. Interviewer: And how's that going? Adam: We love it. Julia: It's like living with your best friend, except that you also fuck. (laughing) — Interviewer: So now we should probably get to the more interesting part of this discussion. Julia, do you want to talk about how this next part started? Remember that our readers don't necessarily know what we're talking about yet. Julia: Right. Well—Adam likes boobs. Adam: (laughing) I do. Julia: Anyway, he likes my boobs, and he has always spent a lot of time on them. Which I like! I wanted him to. But one day, after we started living together, we were doing it, and, no, actually we weren't doing it yet, we were just— Adam: Foreplay. Julia: Yeah, we were just doing foreplay. I think we were on the couch, and he had my top off, and I was holding him while he was sucking on my breast. And I was thinking about how pleasant it was, how it felt good and it made me excited and want him. And I remember just randomly thinking: "How hot would it be if I could breastfeed you right now?" You know, like actually give him my milk. Interviewer: You didn't have milk, though— Julia: No, I didn't, it was just a thought, just a sudden fantasy. And I realized that I had just gotten about a thousand times more turned on—I really, really liked the idea, all of a sudden. Which surprised me! I didn't expect to have thoughts like that, but here they were. Interviewer: When did you tell Adam? Julia: Well, I didn't, at first. But the thing is, I have some friends who do this—who are in a breastfeeding relationship. Interviewer: You mean, like, post-baby? Julia: No, they don't have babies. They just induced milk so they could nurse their boyfriends. Interviewer: Wow. Where would that idea have come from? Julia: I don't really know; when I had the thought, that impulse, it just suddenly seemed natural. Interviewer: Some people might think you were imagining Adam as your baby. Julia: It's not like that at all, though. He's not a baby. But being a woman, I have this strong sense of wanting to nurture someone if I love him, and at this point, I'd fallen deeply in love with him. And so, well, I realized I wanted to breastfeed him—I wanted to know what would be like to make milk, make food, in my body and feed it to him from my nipple. Which, you know, you can say that sounds weird, but it's not, it's not strange for me. It's the most natural thing in the world. It's my way of showing him I love him. Interviewer: So you talked to these friends? Julia: Yeah, because I knew they were doing this, that it was real, but I had no idea how they'd started it, how they'd managed to induce milk. I'd never thought about doing it before, never read about it or anything. Interviewer: And how did they manage to induce? Julia: Well, the same way I ended up doing it: a lot of herbs and a lot of sucking. Interviewer: Really? Julia: Yeah, seriously. I started taking Fenugreek, this herb, a few times a day, and I was drinking Mother's Milk Tea, which has these other herbs, and then we had a schedule. Oh, and I had to change birth control. Interviewer: Why is that? Julia: Well, I have this close friend Melissa, and she's in a relationship like this—a nursing relationship with her boyfriend—and she told me she had to get off birth control pills because they were interfering with her body's ability to start milk production. So I switched, too, to the IUD, the ParaGuard IUD that doesn't have hormones. It can make your period heavier, but breastfeeding tones down your period, so—I haven't really noticed much of a difference. Interviewer: I'm afraid we're jumping ahead, though: how did you broach the subject of nursing with Adam? Julia: (looking at Adam) It wasn't really that hard. I think we were cuddling one day, and he had started playing with my boobs under my shirt, and I just asked him what he thought of the idea. Adam: You said, "Hey, if there was a way that you could suck milk from my boobs, what would you think of that?" Interviewer: Adam, what was your reaction? Adam: I was sort of stunned. For one thing, though, I didn't even know it was possible; I thought you had to have a baby first. Interviewer: So she told you that wasn't true— Adam: Yeah, she explained how she could do it, how she had these friends, and that it wasn't even that hard. Interviewer: (to Julia) Was it hard? Julia: Well, I wouldn't say the process was super-easy, but it wasn't hard, no. It just takes dedication. Interviewer: So, Adam, what did you tell her? Adam: After she explained that she really could do this, and—this was actually more important—that she really wanted to do this, be able to feed me— that was what mattered to me. If it turned her on, then it was definitely going to turn me on. That's what I figured. I thought it would probably be fun. I mean, it's Julia's milk. It's hers, and ... Julia: I make it for him. Interviewer: So now we've really jumped ahead; it's obvious you were successful. Julia: Yeah, we were. It took about—almost two months of trying. I was on all the herbal shit, and I was sneaking into the Quiet Room at my office building to do hand expression every day, four or five times during the day. Interviewer: The Quiet Room, as in the nursing room? Julia: Yeah. We have one on every floor in my office building. Interviewer: But you haven't actually nursed Adam in one of them— Julia: No, we never have. I mean—I'd love to nurse him during the day, or in those first weeks, just to practice-nurse, but our schedules are just too crazy. My friend, Melissa, she will text her boyfriend and tell him to meet her on some random floor of her office, and they do nurse there, in a Quiet Room. But we just don't have time for that; we can barely meet for lunch. And also, I'm always afraid someone is going to walk in, when I'm in there. It's fine if it's just me and I'm massaging or pumping my breast, because that's what the room is for. It's a big office, and so I doubt it would be anyone who knows me. But if Adam was there with me, I might have a hard time explaining. Adam: So we had to do homework. Interviewer: Homework? Julia: Homework. When we'd wake up in the morning, while we were still in bed, the first thing I'd do is open my gown, or pull up my t-shirt, or whatever, and put a boob in Adam's face. Interviewer: That must have been terrible for you, Adam. Adam: (laughs) Julia: So I started putting my breasts to his mouth every morning before we even got up. Of course, had to learn how to do it right, the proper latch and everything. Adam: It's not like normal breast play, breast sucking. Julia: Yeah, that's right. You have to get a latch over the nipple—really over the areola, the whole thing. My areola was always on the big side anyway— Adam: You mean both of them? Julia: Yeah, both of them. But what was interesting is that as we kept up the stimulation, after a few weeks, I noticed that my areolae—is that how you pronounce it? I've never known for sure, "air-ee-OH-lay?" Anyway— I noticed that they got even bigger, even wider. And the guy is supposed to get his lips around most of it, which caused Adam some jaw problems at first— Adam: It did; I had to learn to loosen up. Julia: But you did loosen up, though. And so he will get his lips over my areola and then suckle, which isn't really the same as sucking, and he does it in a rhythm, like he sucks and squeezes, and then he lets go some, then squeezes again. And what he's doing is pulling the end of my nipple toward the back of his throat, in and out, which stimulates it to give milk. Adam: Your nipples started growing around then, too. Julia: Yeah, they did. And they're still pretty huge. I never ask you about that. Do you think they're OK this way? Adam: I fucking love them this way. Fucking. Love. Them. Interviewer: (laughing) OK, then. Julia: Anyway, so that was easy enough to do: wake up and dry-nurse for about 10 minutes, each boob. And then hand expression during the day. Then at night, when we both got home— Adam: That was easy. She started taking off her blouse before I got home. Julia: (laughing) I did; it was a mean trick. He'd come through the door and find me topless, working on dinner. But I knew if I did that, he wouldn't be able to control himself. So I'd start heating a pot of water for pasta, or whatever, and then we'd go sit on the couch. Adam: Actually we started using the chairs around that time. Julia: You're right, the chair. I'd sit down—we still do this—I'd sit on the chair and Adam would straddle me. We maybe make out for a few minutes, but then I move his head down to my chest and push my nipple to his lips. And his mouth will open, and we'll get a good latch going, and then, back then, we'd dry-nurse for a few minutes on each boob. About 15 or 20 minutes total. Adam: No complaints. Julia: None here either, although I do remember being a little sore the first couple weeks. I think that was mostly when we were figuring out what a good latch was. After that—even now—I never get very sore or tender or anything. It just feels good. Interviewer: So that does sound like a lot of work, though. Transcript Julia: It was, I guess, but when your work is mostly a lot of snuggling, it's not that bad. The hand expression part wasn't even that big of a deal. It was kind of like masturbating. Sometimes I'd have to sneak off to a restroom stall after I'd finished expressing and get myself off a couple of times before I went back to work. I'd just get all worked up. Interviewer: The dry nursing, though— Julia: That was pleasant. It was nice being close to Adam that way, and it felt nice, it felt good. Adam: I had no complaints. — Interviewer: So tell me about the day that it first worked. Julia: You mean the first time I actually started producing milk? Interviewer: Yes. Tell me about that first day. Julia: Well, I was in the Quiet Room at work, doing hand expression like normal, except I wasn't used to actually expressing anything. It was more like massage, right? Anyway, I start to realize that I've got this nice burning feeling in my chest, this pleasant, warm sensation right around my boobs. I'd had that before, a little bit, and didn't produce anything, but I felt like this was stronger. I'm talking about feeling a let-down reflex, if it isn't obvious. So eventually I look down, and I notice that I've got a bunch of tiny white dots on my nipple, on the breast that I'm massaging. Interviewer: That must have been exciting. Julia: I almost whooped out loud. I was just fucking thrilled. I tasted it—I had to be sure, so I wiped it off my nipple and tasted it—and yup, it was the real thing. Interviewer: Did you call Adam? Julia: I was tempted; I really wanted to. But then I started to think about it, and I realized the best thing I could do was to make it a sort of surprise for him. I wanted to tell him right before he actually tasted it, before he sucked it from me for the first time. Interviewer: So how did you work that? Julia: Well, when I got home, I took off my top as usual—I remember I had to use a little extra deodorant because I was afraid I'd been too excited. Adam: Oh, you never smell. Julia: Well, I was afraid. So then I did some hand expression on each boob, because I wanted to be sure I could still do it, still let down. And I did; I did expression just long enough so that I got the little white dots of milk again, and then I got on the Internet and messaged some of my girlfriends, the ones who knew. And I was waiting for Adam to come home. Interviewer: And when he did come home? Julia: Well, it felt like forever, and when he did get there, I was sort of in a daze. Because now it was real. He was here and I was going to show him, and it was going to be real. It scared me a little. Adam: And of course I was completely oblivious. Julia: Well, you couldn't have known. And I tried to hide being nervous and feeling weird, feeling hazy, and just acted normal. Interviewer: So how were you planning to introduce him to this new development? Julia: Well, it was business as usual: we said hello, we kissed, and I told him it was time to go sit in the chair. Interviewer: The nursing chair. Julia: Well, it really hadn't been a nursing chair yet. It was our practice chair, our dry-nursing chair. I sat down like normal—and my top was off and so was my bra, I was topless— and then he came and straddled me, with his knees around my hips. And then I led his face to my breast. But right before he put his lips on me, I whispered to him. Interviewer: What did you whisper? Julia: I think it was, "I've got something new for you." Adam: That was it. Interviewer: Adam, what did you make of that? Adam: I didn't really get what she meant, exactly. I wasn't expecting what I discovered, believe it or not. I was going to ask what she meant, but her nipple was about an inch from my lips, and I was tempted away by it. Julia: He started suckling as usual and I just waited, I was waiting for that burning feeling again. And I was kind of nervous and excited, I realized, and I was afraid it wasn't going to happen, and that was making a vicious circle. Adam: And of course I'm still completely clueless. Julia: Well, you didn't know. So I cleared my mind, relaxed, breathed deeply. And I imagined letting milk out of my breast, through my nipple, imagined it going into Adam's mouth. And then I put my hand on my breast and started massaging it, sort of like I was doing hand expression. Adam: I remember that. I was thinking: wow, she's really getting into this. Julia: Well, I was! And I remember holding his head to me, pulling him close. I just had this urge. Interviewer: And how long did this go on? Julia: I don't really know, but it wasn't all that long. A few minutes maybe. And then I started getting the wonderful burning in my chest, right around my boobs, and then Adam said— Adam: I said, "I can taste you." Julia: Yeah, he pulled his mouth off of my boob and looked me right in the eyes and said that. And I just wanted to cry, I was so happy. Interviewer: So what did you do? Julia: Well, Adam put his mouth back onto my nipple again, like immediately, and he was doing these gigantic sucks. Adam: I really wanted to taste it again. Julia: Yeah, and it definitely was coming out, not a huge flow like it does now, but I could feel it, and I could feel Adam swallowing it. Adam: That was amazing, that first time. Julia: So then he comes off my boob again and says—before I could even ask—"You taste so good." Adam: Actually I thought I said, "You taste wonderful." But 'good' works, too. You do taste good, and wonderful. Interviewer: What does her milk taste like, Adam? Adam: It's sweet. It's hard to describe otherwise; she has a sort of earthy flavor— Julia: I guess that's appropriate. Adam: (laughing) Yeah, maybe. It's hard to describe; it's a lot more subtle and nuanced than cow's milk—and it's got more flavor now than it did that first night, in those first days. Interviewer: I take it that you like the flavor. Adam: I love it, fucking love it. It tastes like her, like Julia, like somehow I would have expected her milk to taste. It's hard to explain, but it's like Julia in liquid form. (laughs) Julia: So we kept going until I started to dry up—not that long, I don't think, until my boob started drying up—but then we switched boobs and finished that one, too. Adam: I remember you crying. Julia: I was, because I was just so goddamned happy that it had finally worked, and then I was kind of upset it didn't go for longer, than I ran out of milk so fast. Adam: Well, that was just the first night. Julia: I was just emotional, probably hormones. Anyway, I knew I'd make more. I remember drinking a lot of water and hoping my milk would come back in soon. Adam: It did. The next morning you had more. Julia: Yeah, I did. But first, we pretty much fucked all night. Interviewer: All night? Julia: Well, not really all night, but it felt like it. I'd say we were doing it on and off for maybe four hours. Interviewer: Adam stayed up that whole time? His erection? Adam: Oh, no way. Julia: Yeah, I didn't mean that. I mean we'd have intercourse, or he'd be down on me. Or whatever. There were times were we'd just be laying together, kissing, waiting for his hard-on to come back. We'd lay there and whisper to each other. Adam would let his fingers graze through my underarm hair; he likes doing that sometimes. Adam: It gives me a hard-on. Julia: And I think it feels nice. Nowadays, if we're going to have marathon sex, we just use the interludes while we're waiting for Adam's erection to do some nursing. Adam: Which, if it isn't obvious by now, gets me going. It turns me on. Julia: I think you come back faster, yeah. I also think—I like to think—that my milk gives you your strength back. Adam: Oh, I'd say that, yeah. I mean, it's exercise, sex is, and by the time I come, I've used a lot of energy. And Julia's breastmilk is really sweet, so that does have a good effect, a restorative effect. Interviewer: So how was it that first week? What changed, and did anything unexpected happen? Julia: Well, we went at it a lot! Nursing, I mean, but I think we fucked a lot, too. Adam: (laughing) Yes, I believe we did. Julia: Every time we'd do it—breastfeeding, I mean—we were trying to see how long it would take before I'd empty out of a breast, and how much Adam had taken from me. Adam: It was something like maybe half an ounce? Half an ounce per side? Julia: We weren't really sure, especially back then. But it was something like 10 or 15 minutes for half an ounce, I think. We were really excited; it felt new and powerful and we both loved it. Adam: I can confirm that: we both loved it. It was just ... amazing to be drinking from Julia, and the idea of it, of taking something she's making in her body and swallowing it, was mind-blowing. It still is, when I really think about it. Interviewer: Did you notice any immediate changes in your body? Julia: I felt more hormonal, for sure. I still do. Interviewer: What do you mean? Julia: Just—I feel more sensitive, just a bit, maybe a little bit calmer, generally. And I'm definitely more possessive of Adam than I ever was. I mean, not in a psycho, freakish way, but I do feel more than ever that he's mine, and what I'm making in my body is for him. Adam: I'd say it really goes both ways. Obviously I'm not hormonal, but I definitely do feel more possessive of Julia now. I mean, this is a really intimate situation. So more than ever, I don't want other guys touching my girlfriend, whether it's sex or it's nursing. Interviewer: So how did that first week progress? Julia: Well, it took some adjustment, even though we already had this whole schedule that were comfortable with. And it sort of stayed the same, but now we didn't try to time it or anything; the timer was my boob. Adam: When she ran out on one, we moved to the next one. Julia: And that's how we'd know we were done. It wasn't like, oh, I think that's enough for tonight, let's watch Jon Stewart—he was still on—or wow I'm really turned on, let's do it now. We still did that, but we were at the mercy of my boobs now. Adam: And the sessions were going longer and longer! Julia: Yeah, that was the thing: a few days in, it was taking Adam half an hour to finish a boob, at least in the morning. I was really starting to produce, and weren't totally sure if I needed to be completely drained or not, so we just nursed until I was done. Interviewer: Was it taking too much time? Julia: Well, not quite yet, but it was definitely taking a long time. So I started asking my nursing friends—the ones who'd induced for their boyfriends—and they told me I didn't have to be completely out of milk just to stimulate production. What Adam could do in half an hour, twice a day, was probably enough, and if I noticed production slacking off, I should just pump at work—which I've had to do a few times, so I keep an electric pump in my desk there just in case. Interviewer: Do your co-workers think you're a nursing mother? Julia: No, they don't know about this. The pump is in a case, and you wouldn't know what it was. The Quiet Rooms are in discreet places, so no one would notice me going in one, anyway. Adam: So she's making a lot now; I think we said this, it's about six ounces a day— Julia: Yeah, four or six, or sometimes even more— Adam: And it definitely takes a while, like maybe a half hour or so, if I want all of it from both sides. Julia: And we'll do that when we feel like it, when we want it. The nice thing is we don't have to. Although, you know, we do, a lot of the time. Adam likes the long sessions. Interviewer: (to Julia) Do you like them? Julia: I do! Sometimes I think I like a good long session more than Adam does. But it's Adam's stomach. Interviewer: What do you like about them? Julia: The feeling. The sense of closeness. The feeling of my milk flowing; it's sort of like pressure release, so that's good right there, that always feels good. The feeling of the pull on my breast, from nursing. And the way Adam sucks my nipple to the back of his mouth, squeezes it, pulls it in and out, in and out—that feels very, very nice. It's really arousing. Sometimes I come from it. Interviewer: You have orgasms while Adam nurses? Julia: Yeah, just from the nursing, just from the feeling. It happens pretty often, like, maybe once a week or so. Interviewer: Wow, OK. Adam: It's pretty amazing. And pretty gratifying for me when it happens. Interviewer: So, once you had milk, did it make you feel closer to Adam? Julia: Definitely; it made a big difference that we weren't just practicing. I mean, I was kind of scared at first, not knowing exactly how it would affect our lives or our relationship— Adam: We both were— Julia: But everything worked out just fine, it went smoothly. Outside of some logistical things like dealing with milk-filled breasts, and dealing with actually getting the milk out, whether it's into Adam or where ever, outside of things like that, it was easy. Even the logistics weren't hard. The hard part was not knowing, at first. Now that we know, well, I cannot imagine life any other way. — Interviewer: So do many people in your lives know about this aspect of your relationship? Julia: Not many. My parents certainly don't know, but my Mom is still getting over the fact that I don't shave my armpits. Every time I see her I have to make sure I've got long sleeves on. Adam: I haven't told anyone. I'm not embarrassed, but it would be like talking about what we do when we're having sex. As a guy, you know, you just don't talk about that, talk about girlfriends in that way. Julia: I have some girlfriends who know; most of them are in nursing relationships themselves, but not all of them. They're all supportive, though, you know—they ask how it's going, if I'm having any trouble, what it's like, how it feels, whatever. Interviewer: What would you say to someone who found out and had a negative opinion about it? Julia: I don't really give a shit if they don't approve. I think that people have a tendency to just live in their own bubbles. I mean—OK, here's an example. Sometimes Adam and I will have anal sex. I like it a lot, it always feels good, and a lot of the time, I have orgasms, big G-spot orgasms. No hands! I just come from his penetration. I end up crying, they're so huge. Interviewer: Lucky girl. Julia: I know, I know it. Anyway, so there are people out there who would completely freak out and tell me—or us—that it's wrong, that this is not something we should do, no matter how good it feels, or how it makes us feel about each other. It's just supposed to be bad. Well, I see our nursing in the same way. People might say I just want to be a mother—and I do, but not now, and I'm not pretending to be Adam's mother. It doesn't feel like that at all when we're together. Or they might say that Adam wants to be a baby, to go back to an infant state. Adam: And that's not true, either. Just like Julia doesn't feel like she's playing mommy, I don't feel like I'm playing baby. Neither of us have that sense—I guess you'd have to be one of us to know this—but it's a natural expression between the two of us. Her body is built to make food for other people, for her loved ones, let's say. Julia: And Adam is definitely a loved one. And that's right, it's my way of loving him: all day and at night my breasts are making this love-food for him, and then he takes it from me in this pleasurable, intimate way, from my nipples. That's not wrong or sick. That's beautiful. Interviewer: Well, when you put it that way— Julia: It's like if we call each other "baby," does that mean we're thinking of each other as a child to take care of? Or does it just mean that we're precious to each other? Most people mean it that way: precious. I think nursing Adam is a similar thing. He's precious to me, and so I want to feed him. He's a man, he can feed himself, that's not the point. I want to feed him because I can, because my body was designed to do that, because it brings us close to each other. It's as natural as him putting his dick inside me, into my vagina; it's meant to go in there. I feel like his mouth is meant to be at my breasts, too. Interviewer: A few minutes ago we were talking about marathon sex. Out of curiosity, how often do nursing sessions lead to intercourse between you? (the couple exchanges glances) Julia: (laughing) Well, pretty much every time. Adam: Not in the mornings, though. Julia: Well, yeah, in the mornings there isn't that much time. Adam's usually pretty horny in the mornings and would love if we could do it more, but we really don't have time to go beyond just taking my milk. I mean, sometimes we do it instead of nursing, and then I'll just pump later. But usually in the mornings it's just nursing. Interviewer: How about at night? Julia: We pretty much do it every time. Actually, again, it's not strictly true. I mean, I get home from work before Adam, and I leave my top off after I change, so when Adam gets home he has some extra motivation to do a nursing session right then. But after that, we usually have dinner. Interviewer: Adam, doesn't that spoil your dinner? Adam: Well, it's sweet, all right. Sort of a dessert. But I always have room for dinner. Julia's a great cook. Julia: I'm sitting across from him, still half-naked, so he's got a good reason to finish his dinner. (laughs) Anyway, after dinner, we do another, longer breastfeeding session, and that almost always leads to us making love. Interviewer: I see. So, let me ask a delicate question: how do you work around your menstrual cycle? Julia: Ah, I knew you were going to get to that. (laughs) Well, you know ... that's when we go anal. Interviewer: Adam, you probably don't mind that at all. Adam: Well, ... Julia: He likes it, but I like it better than he does. I come a lot when we do anal. Adam: Yeah, I don't mind it, but the truth is, her vagina is actually tighter than—than she is on the other side. Julia: The orgasms are just really different and super-intense. Adam: She shudders. Julia: I feel like I'm losing my mind, in a good way. I mean, my other orgasms, the clitoral ones and the vaginal ones—they're good too, and different. And I do come a lot that way. But the anal ones are the most intense. Adam says I get so loud I hurt his ears. Adam: She passed out once. Julia: Almost passed out, yeah, from the pleasure, it just went on and on and— Adam: I'm pretty sure she passed out, for about ten seconds, anyway. Julia: I guess I really couldn't tell. Interviewer: So in terms of breastfeeding, your breasts don't get too sensitive or sore from your period so that it's uncomfortable to nurse Adam? Julia: Oh, no, that doesn't happen. If anything, breastfeeding relieves some of the symptoms, and my period doesn't last very long. — Interviewer: How would you describe your breastfeeding relationship to someone who didn't know anything about this, that it was even possible? How would you describe what it's like? Julia: It's like this private secret we have between the two of us. I mean, obviously our friends know, and now you know. But the specifics of our relationship, especially this aspect—that's just a private thing between us, and we love that. Adam: I'll get these texts sometimes, during the day: "Got a lot today, feeling full. See you tonight." And I'll be a little bit excited the rest of the day, thinking about what's going to happen at about 7:00 PM. Interviewer: You mean how much—how much milk you have varies, Julia? Julia: Totally varies. I mean, I always have some to give him, but it depends on how much water I've been drinking, what I've been eating, mood, menstrual cycle, whatever. There are days where I feel full enough to almost feel uncomfortable; it never gets to the point of serious discomfort, but I can tell I've really been producing. So I'll text Adam because, for one thing, I know I'll need relief, and I'd rather that he be the reliever! And also, when my breasts feel full, it usually makes me feel a little extra-sexual, and I want to go be with him. Transcript Interviewer: So speaking of inconveniences—even if they're only slight— are there any adjustments you've had to make now that you are lactating full-time? Julia: Well ... yeah, for one thing, I have to be careful about being around young children. Adam: Why's that? Julia: Because when I'm full, and I see a lot of kids, or worse, if one of them starts crying, I start leaking sometimes. Adam: I didn't know that. Julia: Well, I haven't mentioned it, and you weren't around the couple of times it happened. It's been when I've been out with my girlfriends. Some baby in a restaurant or in a mall starts crying, and my boobs react. Interviewer: So what do you do about that? Julia: Nursing pads. I found these thin ones that absorb really well—Lansinoh is the brand. My friend Melissa won't wear them unless she has on a nursing bra, but I think these are plenty comfortable. Melissa a little bustier than me, so maybe that's the deal there. Adam: Umm ... Julia: You haven't noticed them because I don't wear them unless we're going out somewhere where there might be little kids or something. And I just pull them out before we get down to business, anyway. Interviewer: Anything else that's inconvenient? Julia: Well, some people would say that just having milk in your breasts full-time is inconvenient, and I guess it would be if I didn't totally want it. I mean, I have no idea how long we're going to do this, but I'm down for the long haul. I don't mind it, I'm fine with the schedules and everything, because of what it gives us, what it gives me personally, and what it gives Adam. Adam: How about pumping and dumping? Julia: Oh, yeah. Actually this is one place where Adam and I have had some disagreement. Not real arguments, but— Adam: There are days where I'm not going to be there to take her milk— Julia: And it can start to get uncomfortable if I don't, and I'll start leaking. So I've got a pump, and electric dual pump, and if Adam is away or I'm going out and not going to have time for him to be nurse from me, I'll pump and then dump the milk. Adam: Which I wish she wouldn't do, always. I mean, she has to pump. But I've been encouraging her to save at least some of it. Interviewer: Why is that? Adam: So I can have it later. Julia: And my thing is: I want him to have my milk straight from my nipple, not from some bottle. If he really wants my breastmilk to use as cream for his coffee, I'm more than happy to squirt it in there. Adam: Which she's done! It's great, a lot better than half-and-half. Julia: So that's the big disagreement. It's not a big deal at all. Interviewer: Well, Julia, what benefits does it give you? What do you get out of this part of your relationship? Julia: Oh, wait, I forgot one thing: sometimes I get a skin rash around my nipples, around my areolae, from Adam's beard. When he has a beard. Adam: Beard-rash. Interviewer: So tell me about what's good. What are the good things it brings you? Julia: Everything I've already pretty much said. I like the closeness, I like using my body in this way—it makes me feel totally feminine—I like feeding Adam. I'm making food in my body, and I'm putting it into his body. That's sexy; that's erotic to me. And he gets a certain amount of nutrition from me; we do this enough that he has to factor in my calories. Adam: That's true. I'm taking in about 200 calories a day, roughly. Sometimes more. Interviewer: Really! Adam: Yeah, about six ounces or so, depending on Julia. Julia: Even more, when I'm really producing, which lately, I really have been. Interviewer: So, this is work, it takes time and effort, but so far so good? Julia: So far so totally good. You couldn't pay me to stop this. I don't know what would happen if we ever got married and had kids or something, but that's not going to be anytime soon. So I'm happy to go on doing this indefinitely. Interviewer: Adam, how about you? What does your nursing relationship with Julia give you? Adam: Besides calories? Interviewer: (laughs) Yes. Adam: Well, what Julia was saying about it, I totally identify with that, except I'm on the receiving end. I don't feel that it emasculates me, I still feel like a man. But as a man you need to have—I need to have—the love of a good woman. (Julia laughs.) Adam: I know it sounds old-fashioned; I don't really mean it in an old-fashioned way. I'm just saying that it's OK by me if someone I love takes care of me. I can take care of myself, I can certainly find my own food, but letting Julia in like this is just an intimate and loving thing. I look forward to being with her this way. Julia: My friend Melissa says that it's like your sexual relationship, except that it's a nice slow burn, no urgency. No one is trying to come when you're nursing. Well, she actually has, I think, and I do sometimes, too. But it's not about orgasms; it's a pleasant, blissful feeling the way it is, like we're together on a cloud. Adam: That's funny, that is exactly how I feel, like we're on a cloud together. That's funny that we both thought that and never said it. (Julia squeezes Adam's hand.) Julia: And then there's the immune system boost. Adam: Oh, yeah—we should talk about that. Interviewer: (to Julia) It boosts your immune system? Julia: Not mine, I don't think mine. But breast milk naturally has my antibodies in it, and, well, Adam gets colds and flu and stuff more than me. Adam: A lot more, actually. Julia: But we think he's not getting as much now. My antibodies are supposed to boost his immune system, and we think it's working. I have this one girlfriend who says her boyfriend never gets sick anymore, never, and he used to get colds and the flu and whatever pretty often. And they're in a nursing relationship. So it probably does work. Adam: Julia's immune system is better than mine. Julia: I think that's generally true between women and men; the woman's immune system is just better at fighting things off. But this way, he gets mine, my immune system. And there's a bunch more science, too. Like it prevents infections, staph infections and things like that. Even cancer, I read. Oh, and allergies! Adam: Yes, my allergies are gone, pretty much. Julia: Adam used to get pretty bad hay fever. And since my milk came in, we've both noticed that he just never sneezes anymore, never gets red eyes, none of the old symptoms. We were at a farm the other week, where he probably would've been miserable— Adam: I would've been, for sure— Julia: And he didn't have a single problem. We didn't realize that until we got home, but we're both pretty sure that's my breastmilk that's doing that, curing him of that. That's in science, that's not just me talking. Adam: What about the calories? Julia: We just talked about that. Adam: No, I meant for you. You burn— Julia: Oh, yeah, you're right, we should mention that. My making milk all the time burns calories, so it's almost like extra exercise. It's supposed to be something like 20 calories burned for every ounce produced, so maybe ... Adam: Well, we've been figuring about six ounces per day lately. Julia: Yeah, so maybe about 200 calories a day. So that's like the same as taking a nice long walk. Adam: Julia has never had a weight problem— Julia: Not since you've known me. Adam: (laughing) Not since I've known her, but I think she's noticeably thinner since we got fully underway with this. I mean, her belly is flatter, and whatever. I always loved her body, but I do think she looks even better now, so I'm not complaining. Julia: I'm a little thinner, AND my boobs are bigger. Adam: No complaints. I love that. Julia: Yeah, I love it, too. Interviewer: So, do you two think it's a good time to start the demonstration? Julia: Sure. Adam: Yeah. — At this point, I got up to lock the office door, Adam rose and closed the blinds. "I think I'm just gonna take my shirt all the way off," Julia says. I've returned to my seat, and am quietly observing the couple as they prepare for their ritual. Julia is wearing a printed t-shirt, which she now pulls off. There is indeed hair under her arms, and though I agree with Adam's description of her hair as "bushy," she has small, feminine patches, not the large growths I had imagined. Adam is on his knees, kneeling in front of Julia's chair, while Julia is unfastening her bra and removing it. Her breasts are plump and pretty, and concerning her areolae, I agree with her assessment that they are "on the big side," meaning that they cover a significant area of her breasts. They are a light red in color, while her nipples are a noticeably darker red. Her nipples, I should add, are fairly long, standing about half an inch away from each breast, and are quite thick. Adam now climbs onto the chair and straddles Julia; she giggles nervously and glances toward me. As Adam puts his face in front of her chest, she cups one of her breasts and squeezes; Adam opens his mouth, and I see streams of liquid suddenly bursting out of Julia's nipple, which Adam collects in his mouth. "Proof!" Julia laughs. The couple then gets down to business: Julia pulls Adam's head toward her while simultaneously holding her breast out toward his mouth. Adam's mouth goes wide and surrounds Julia's areola; I hear quiet smacking sounds as he works to seal his lips to her breast. I watch as Julia's hand begins to squeeze herself—in an area right near the areola—in firm pulses. After a few moments, Adam makes a slight sighing sound, which I take as an indication that Julia's milk has begun flowing. At this point, I feel like a voyeur, intruding on a very intimate moment between the two. Julia's face shows obvious bliss—she has a slight smile, her eyes are closed, and she has a look of utter relaxation. Adam, meanwhile, works at her breast with enthusiasm: his jaw pumps up and down, and his whole head undulates. It is very quiet in the room, and I can hear liquid sounds in Adam's throat as he swallows. After about 15 minutes, Adam withdraws and finds his own chair. Julia, now putting on her bra, looks at me and says, "So that's how we do it." "It was beautiful," I tell them. Transcript Of 'Pleasing Pleasure' Transcript For The Pleasing Pleasure Comedy Hour Cameras zoom in on Pleasing Pleasure as she enters the stage sucking on a dildo, dressed in a very tiny swimsuit, spiked heels and her long blonde hair hanging loosely. Pleasing Pleasure: In case anyone is wondering why I am sucking on this big huge dildo it's because my doctor told me I needed plenty of protein, so I asked him could I drink it and he pulls his pants down and said I could suck on his straw. So when I left I went to the adult video store where I found this one hanging all by it self. The man behind the counter insisted that his would be better then this one for protein, but I am not stupid he just wanted me to buy his that shriveled up as soon as I sucked it dry. The amazing thing with this one I can carry it with me, suck when ever I want to on it and I never taste its salty cum that my doctor kept yelling "Drink my cum!" I did and it tasted like all salt. The other day I was walking home when I hear this man yelling come on Pleasure me! Its not everyday I meet someone with a unique name as my own so of course I run up to her grab her hand and said Pleasure Me I am Pleasing Pleasure. The next thing I knew this guy is pulling down his pants with a huge cock, she flees leaving me there to drink more protein. Audience laughs I was in a supermarket the other day and this old dude yells in my ear which just about made my heart jump out of my fucking chest, he says "Did you see this?" I am now looking around ready to nose dive just incase ya know? He is trying to sell me a fucking toilet bowl cleaner. Since they came down on the Telemarketer, now they have moved on to the supermarkets. I was really agitated now, my eyes are bulging, I feel my hair standing up on ends, I begin to shake . I mean I am shopping for what I want to buy, and then I am being bombarded with this line of people pushing samples at me... Try mine, no mine! Leave ,me the fuck alone when I am shopping! I have enough pressure trying to be the great mom and choosing the right fucking peanut butter. God forbid should you bring home the wrong peanut butter because then you got little Ashley kicking you in the chin and calling 911 for child abuse. I remember when my kids tried that shit on me, hell I dialed the 911, ran to their rooms gave them their clothes in bags along with the bill for the stuff I had bought, and then started dialing my friends telling them it was *PARTY TIME* I had just been granted a pardon. You know kids don't like that either, they don't like knowing hey they are happy I am gone, yes kiddies that means we save money, don't have to use a pay phone anymore when I have five lines in the house that only one kid has five of his friends on, and I can watch my programs in the living room with my friends sprawled on my furniture! Audience laugh's and applauds The other day I came home from work and my daughter is in the living room, I told her three times to be careful that I just washed the floor and cleaned the sliding glass door. She ignored me and sees the handsome pool boy outside. This is the only time I ever see this girl move as fast as she does when the opposite sex is around and then it happened boom! Runs into the sliding glass door which causes her to run backwards, hitting the wet tile floor and boom on her butt. I tried not to show my enjoyment to her embarrassment since the pool guys face was now like plastered to the glass door, She screams at me that I should have warned her. *Hello* do I speak a fucking foreign language here or what? Show cuts to a commercial break and returns with Pleasing Pleasure sitting on a stool. So we are coming to the end of the show now, and my last words on Pleasure is me. Thank you and you're a great audience. Pleasing Pleasure bows and leaves stage. Transcript: Snoot v Snoot Judge Watson: "We are gathered here today for the deposition of Mrs. Charles Van Snoot in regards to a prenuptial agreement signed by both parties prior to their marriage January 1, 2009. Mr. Van Snoot has claimed a violation by Mrs. Van Snoot of said agreement and before the harsh penalties of the agreement are to be put in place, we have asked Mrs. Van Snoot here to allow her to testify in her defense." In attendance: Mrs. Charles Van Snoot Mrs. Van Snoot's Attorney James 'Lucky' O'Riley Mr. Van Snoot's Attorney Oliver Wendell House His Honor Judge Clarence Watson, presiding Transcript recorded by Miss Julia Bloom Mr. House: "I will briefly state Mr. Van Snoot's claim for the record. His assertion is that throughout this year, he has caught his bride being unfaithful to him on numerous occasions and that the prenuptial agreement she freely signed states that infidelity nullifies her right to any property upon dissolution of this marriage. Mrs. Van Snoot, my first question to you is, were you aware of said clause in the prenuptial you signed?" Mrs. Van Snoot: "Oh sure Charlie was all huffy about his little thingy, no your Honor not that little thingy, I mean his little prenup thingy." Mr. House: "My next query would then be on the matter of unfaithfulness, now remember you are under oath and required by law to tell the truth. How many acts of adultery have you committed in the year that you have been married to Mr. Van Snoot?" Mrs. Van Snoot: "Your Honor it depends on what you call cheating, you remember our wonderful President Clinton and what he said, 'Blow jobs aren't cheating'..." Judge Watson: "Please Mrs. Van Snoot we must have decorum here I am warning you to watch you language." Mrs. Van Snoot: "Your Honor you can call them what you want but like the president said, that ain't cheating. I have a tee shirt at home I guess I shoulda worn it today, it says in big letters on the chest (at this point Mrs. Van Snoot sticks out her enormous chest and draws her fingers across it) 'It ain't cheating if my husband's watching'. I can't tell you how many times I've let Charley hide in the closet to watch the pool boy and me. It's funny, when the pool boy leaves I always call to Charley, 'you can come out of the closet now' but he never gets the joke." Mr. House: "I see, well what have you to say about you and a Mr. Richard Miller on the evenings of..." Mrs. Van Snoot: "Now you just wait a minute, that's just anal, and everyone in this court room knows that anal ain't cheating. Ain't that right Judge?" Judge Watson: "I'm afraid I couldn't say Mrs. Van Snoot." Mr. O'Riley: "Your Honor you can plainly see, that by my client's definition of infidelity she has been faithful to her husband. Now Mrs. Van Snoot is there anything you would like to say about Mr. Van Snoot's part of the prenup agreement?" Mrs. Van Snoot: "Come on Lucky you know there is, Your Honor I have been cheated by my husband, before we married he promised me twelve inches of loving but I guess what he was talking about was making love with four inches three times..." Mr. House: "Your Honor, if I may interrupt; what my client said was twelve centimeters, not twelve inches." Mrs. Van Snoot: "He can call it what he wants to, it's still no foot long. Don't you see Judge, when I saw all that money and then he says he's got twelve inches I fell in love. I figured he's packing that much heat I'd be glad to sign that ol' prenup. You see Judge, he's the one who cheated, and he cheated me out of eight inches." Judge Watson: "At this time I feel a need to poll the interested parties off the record. Miss Bloom, you are excused until we recall you." This transcript is closed at 11:15 AM. This transcript is now reopened at 2:45 and all in attendance remain the same. Judge Watson: "(delete)Miss Bloom as you can see, Mrs. Van Snoot has had a small mishap with her dress, I wonder if you might take a minute and assist her in fixing this, oh you were taking transcribing this, well strike this from the record.(end delete)" Judge Watson: "After our informal poll, I feel I can render an appropriate opinion now and I have to say..." Mr. House: "I'm sorry your Honor but if I may interrupt you for an important addendum. My client is out in the hall and he would like to say a few words before you give your decision." Judge Watson: "This is highly irregular Mr. House, but as this whole deposition has been irregular I guess it can't hurt. Bailiff, show in Mr. Van Snoot and then swear him in." Mr. House: "Thank you your Honor, now Mr. Van Snoot what is it you want to say." Mr. Van Snoot: "Judge, this has all been a big mistake, I don't want to divorce Becky Sue I love her. Becky Sue I do love you..." Mr. House: "Mr. Van Snoot then why do you want to enforce your prenuptial agreement if you don't want a divorce?" Mr. Van Snoot: "I'm afraid Becky Sue is going to leave me and if she's going to break my heart I don't think she deserves my money" Mrs. Van Snoot: "Oh Charlie, you do love me, that makes me so happy. I thought you were kicking me out, as long as you don't measure your bank account by those little centimeter thingy's I couldn't leave you. (delete)Oh, and your Honor, I'm glad you liked my demonstration of no cheating sex(end delete)." Judge Watson: "Miss Bloom, strike that last sentence. Well now, it looks to me that both parties are happy with the status quo so I won't need to render my decision. This hearing is adjourned." Transcripts from the Jack Walker Show Jack Walker; Good evening ladies and gentleman tonight we have with us from South Florida that hot little bomb shell Rikki Rodriguez to discuss her hit movie *A Slut Is Born! * Let's welcome her with a big applause for the lovely and talented *Rikki Rodriguez! * The audience gives her a standing ovation Jack Walker: Rikki it has been a few months since we last seen each other and you look absolutely hot. Rikki Rodriguez: Yes Jack, I recall the last time we saw each other you were quickly pulling your pants up while your secretary was pulling her skirt down. Jack Walker: Oh yes I remember that day so well, I was trying to train her to be a head of everyone else. Rikki Rodriguez: Well she was getting *A* head all right I guess you could say. Jack Walker: Tell us about your latest film adventure Rikki. Rikki Rodriguez: I just got through filming Suck my cock hard with my leading man Ron Sterling on location in Miami. I did a lot of sucking on and off of filming. Jack Walker: Rikki would you describe how you give head? Rikki Rodriguez: Certainly, with pleasure Jack. For those ladies and men who do not know how to give head properly this is my first lesson in head one on one. Give me one of those big juicy sausages over there Jack. Thank you, now do you see how I do not put to much hand on it so it does not appear small, no one wants to pay to see small cocks on the screen. So you see how I have two fingers the thumb and pointer just lightly at the head and my full hand at the bottom of the shaft half over the balls as well. Now I first take my tongue running it slowly around the tip of the cock, down the shaft very slowly, then roll it in my mouth like this. Jack Walker: Oh my how you really give a great lesson, would you like to show the audience using me? Oh my God you bit off the head and ate it! Rikki Rodriguez: Mmmm very juicy, see how it seeps out the corner of my mouth Jack? If you wish for me to demonstrate on you then come here. Jack Walker: I think I will pass for now . . . oh we have to cut to a commercial. Break to a commercial Cameras zoom in on Jack and Rikki sipping coffee and laughing in between whispers. Jack Walker: Welcome back to the Jack Walker show and our guest Rikki Rodriguez, Now Rikki we have a surprise for you today all the way from Miami Beach Florida your leading man Ron Sterling. Rikki Rodriguez: Oh really? I wish you had told me Jack. Jack Walker: Is there a problem? Rikki Rodriguez: No, Nothing is wrong Jack. Ron Sterling enters smiling Jack Walker: Lets give him a warm welcome . . . Ron Sterling. Ron Sterling: Jack its good to see you again, and Rikki you're just a big slut as always. Rikki Rodriguez: You bastard! You give me a disease and you call me a big slut? Ron Sterling: I gave you nothing, only the best fuck you ever had. Jack Walker: Sounds like these two love birds are having some problems in their nest. Ron Sterling: No problems I will never work with whore ever again, she fucks everything in town and then accused me of giving her a sex disease and I checked out clean! Jack Walker: Explain that Rikki we all want to hear it. Rikki Rodriguez: Oh no, she must have given it to me, the one person you don't sleep with Ron . . . Your wife. Jack Walker: Make me a doctor's appointment quick, I fucked her last night. Ron Sterling storms off the set with Rikki and Jack following behind him . . . Show cuts to commercial break. Returns with the producer in Jacks Seat Jillian Berkley: Hello, I am the producer of the show and will finish it while Jack had an un expectant visit to the doctors. Our next guest is . . . Well it seems all of our guest had emergency doctor visits. So for the next fifteen minutes I will tell you about my first time. I was a twenty-year-old virgin, it was my second year in college and she was only eighteen years old and knew how to work that tongue on my swollen clit, oh so slow, soft and then hard, my hips trying to push harder against her tongue when I feel her hands wrap around my thighs pulling my pussy hard on her face and I exploded this hot, white thick creamy cum all into her mouth. My turn came and I was so clumsy trying to make my tongue move like hers on her clit, and I would even suck on it making her moan so loud. I was not prepared for her wrapping her legs tightly around my head, she managed to turn her body so she was sitting on my face fucking it. Wow she tasted so good and came so hard in my mouth on my face, I swear her clit shot her juices out like a cock shoots cum down you throat. Well they tell me we are out of time, This is the Jack Walker show and we hope we kept you entertained.