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Whispers From My Heart

By: wistfall1



(Author's note: This story is 14 Lit pages long. Please take your time reading and enjoying it. BTW, it is a purely lesbian story with regard to religion and its effects on lesbians) 

Chapter 1

There is no doubting that a female is a work of art, some more so than others, a few bordering on perfection. It was something that I concluded for myself when I finally began to see what I'd been denied for so long. The longing of my heart had tried to whisper its desire to me for many years, but it had always been veiled by all that I had been taught since birth. Now that I was free of all the lies, I was often lost in my enjoyment of what had always been my greatest desire. I'd not actually known of it consciously as I say because I was raised in a strict religious faith.

My parents were very firm believers; we lived in the heartland of what is known as the bible belt of America. We'd often gone to different churches or their revivals, but mostly we were Baptists of the most fundamental kind. I remember when I was very young that we went to one of those churches where they gave free vent to their spiritual impulses, some suddenly standing and singing in rapturous joy, some "taken with the spirit" and rolling on the floor twitching and jerking.

Incredible as all of that is to me now, even more incredible was seeing a preacher somehow taking up rattlesnakes in his hands and holding them to his head. That was too much for me back then and I had shut my eyes and covered them with my hands. I had heard of this, and even that some were bitten by those snakes and they had died from their deadly bites.

Talk about being traumatized, and having it all not just seep into my being, but becoming a part of me in such a way that I knew I was destined to be just as my parents were, which is total believers in how we envisioned Christianity to be.

"They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."

That's in the King James version of the bible in the last chapter of the gospel said to have been Mark's. I never heard of one being bitten and not dying from the bite, or bites, but that was how they all believed. I nearly believed it all too. There was only one thing that kept me from it.

I'd always preferred playing with other girls, being close to them, but as much as they'd let me, I tried to stay out of girl's clothes. That seldom happened unless it was hot enough for shorts, but even then, it didn't happen as often as I wished it to. However, my preference for playing with girls, which wasn't unusual for any girl, was such that I shied away from the boys whenever I could. Nobody ever noticed that for the longest time.

As was the custom, my parents wanted children right away, or so I was led to believe, and I never doubted that. When it was years and none was forthcoming, I was told that they went before the congregation to be prayed over, and still it didn't happen for a couple of years. Such was their longing, particularly my mother's, that when I finally came along, I was named Hannah as in the biblical mother of Samuel the prophet who was born to a similarly childless couple. Of course that I was a girl and not a boy didn't bother them, at least not my mother. She did finally, just like the biblical Hannah, have more children, albeit with a few years from one to the other.

However there was nothing biblical about me. Though I was just about on the path to being as religious as my mother in my beliefs, I suddenly found myself being slowly torn and feeling confusion, not to mention guilt, but that came a little later. Our church, as any would readily understand, was pretty much of a fire and brimstone type: believe, obey, and accept Jesus as your savior.

Repent and be saved; give up sinning and get right with God lest your soul be lost forever in the eternal fires of hell. Do not allow those devil spirits of alcohol to touch your lips. Praise God each and every day and do not forsake the coming together with your brethren in communal prayer. Oh yes, and homosexuality is an abomination unto the Lord our God. There's nothing he hates more than homosexuals, or so it was believed.

That's where my confusion began!

Some years before puberty, I had the sensing that I really liked girls. I've learned that it is not unusual for a girl to want to be very close to another girl, especially if she was what is thought of as a leader in a group of girls. However, my liking quickly became as an obsession to be near one particular girl who was never thought of as a leader. I thought of her as sweet, beautiful of person, and someone I just had to be near at every opportunity. There were never enough opportunities and before long I found myself day dreaming of her so much that it carried over into night time where it would become dreaming of her.

My dreams of her, Sarah, were always nebulous, having no substance other than that I sensed us almost together, and leaving me with a wondrous feeling of ineffable beauty. I know I sighed endlessly in my dreams, I was so happy to be near to her.

In my waking hours, that desire to be near to Sarah was just as nebulous as my dreams of her, and I never permitted any conscious thoughts of my wanting to be near her in my waking hours. It was as if I'd blocked out thinking of her that way, yet sensing it as an unspoken thought, someone who was just there.

That was how my life was for the longest time–as an unspoken thought!

I'd been so tightly raised that I never permitted anything to interfere with how I should be, how I should act, and even how I should think. I'd often try to block out thoughts of Sarah, but then find myself in a day dream about her. Keeping my confusion to myself became as important as thinking about being near Sarah, and in due time, I was tearing me apart. I just didn't understand myself, why I was so pulled this way and that.

As happens, Sarah became a thought of the past that I seldom revisited, though when I did, it was all so fuzzy, yet those few thoughts always left me feeling slightly nervous and ashamed, not to mention warm and making me blush. Gratefully, as I said, I seldom thought of her so it wasn't too hard a thing to keep from others, namely my parents. Then again, they were always so into being churchy that they didn't notice much else in our house.

Maybe I forgot about Sarah when I began to see other girls in the showers, and naked in all of their glory. In all of their glory because that's how I began to think of girls. Invariably I'd find something about them worth looking at with a relish that pulled deeply at me, and sometimes a lot to look at in one or another girl. I'd be so embarrassed that I'd quickly have to look away, or down at the floor or my own feet, and that was easily noticed by the other girls.

They knew I was a big church goer, so they guessed that it was religion that made me shy about being naked with them. In part, they were right, but mostly not. No, I just found myself loving to look at them, but was sensing that it wasn't proper, but also that it would wind up being a huge problem to me. However, the mixture of my guilt–yes guilt as well as shame–fast became a torture that I looked forward to. I just couldn't help my growing wish to admire, I called it then, all that I saw about them.

I lived that way for the longest time, never going out on a date, and really having few friends even in the church, and none of them close–Sarah having moved away and my not allowing myself to think of being close to anyone else, again, not consciously though I had to know of what I was doing.

In due time, my mother had to ask if I'd thought of marrying, and if so, did I have anyone in mind. That set my mind into turmoil. My confusion was as never before, and I fought to control my near stammering.

"No," I finally said. "I haven't met anyone yet that I feel comfortable with."

"Well, maybe you will soon enough. Don't worry about it. Time will do it's thing as it always does."

My mother's lack of perception into any part of my inner person saved me from goodness only knows what. Finally her deep sense of religion served a good purpose for me.

Did it really serve me well, though? For sure it led me to begin to wonder about myself, to openly try to admit what all was hidden in me, but still, I fought it hard out of habit. There was something there and I knew it, and though it wasn't fully buried in me, yet some part of me wouldn't let it out to where I could face up to it.

When I graduated from high school I went to college, a small one to be sure, and quite Christian, but they allowed sororities. I was in one, probably due to their need of more sisters to make it more as if a popular one as it seemed all sororities tried to portray their selves.

Still, it wasn't as some of the larger colleges, and not quite as liberal either as I understood it. In part, that meant that we were in need of funds to do some of the things we set out for ourselves to do, and that meant fund raising.

Being as innocents, our methods were very simple, almost child-like. We bought cards such as for Christmas and other occasions, as well as some jewelry that we were to take orders for, and other trinkets, which meant going from door-to-door in various close-by neighborhoods.

That's when my life changed, when I finally came face-to-face with what all I held within myself.

Chapter 2

"Hello, my name is Hannah, and I'm with..." I began my well rehearsed spiel.

I did fairly well in many of the homes, sold a lot, and even took some orders for jewelry and assorted trinkets. Then I rang the doorbell of another house near the noon hour.

"Hello," I repeated my opening lines.

Not surprisingly, as had happened many times before, she invited me in.

"I probably won't buy much if anything, but I was just about to have a sandwich and some tea. Can I offer you some lunch or tea, or maybe something else?" she said in the friendliest of ways.

"I hate to intrude..." I began to apologize.

"No worries, I could use the company. Come; let's sit at the kitchen table and see what you have and maybe have something to drink. It's the least I can do in exchange for your company," her smiling invitation continued.

She looked to be about thirty-five or so, and had a pretty face and slender figure much as I did, but with bigger breasts. As happened with many of the women I had spoken to, I was somewhat drawn to her, but more so, and that puzzled me mildly, but then I quickly sensed that there was something special in the way she spoke to me.

Everyone had been friendly to one degree or other, but she was different. She had instantly set me at ease in her presence and that was saying something.

"Hannah! That's a pretty name. My name is Rona Hendrickson. Now that that's out of the way, is hot tea okay" she asked with a pleasant smile that further set me at ease all the while it roiled me. More of those conflicting feelings I'd had before.

"Yes thank you, if it's not too much trouble," I said.

"No trouble at all," she said, and indeed, it was ready.

As much at ease with Rona as I was, we were soon talking like old friends. That was a strange feeling, the comfort I had with her and the ease with which my words tumbled out when appropriate, and all the while I sensed a peculiar warmth. The warmth ws as is usual with the warmth between friends, and it was more than pleasant, especially when I hadn't felt a warmth of this kind that I could remember since Sarah left.

"When you come back with my order, why don't you let me know and maybe come for dinner too, your company has been such a pleasure," she said when I'd been there a while.

Surprised, I was more than shocked by the instant nodding of my head in agreement, as well as the confirming words of acceptance that poured out of me.

"Yes, I'd like that if you're sure I won't be inconveniencing you."

She snorted mildly accompanied with a smile. "Nonsense. It's been delightful talking to you and I should like to do it again."

I left with the feeling of having known Rona since forever. That was a new feeling for me. I had no idea that such a meeting could occur, and it be as it was and me feeling so light on my feet.

* * * *

The feeling of warmth that I felt didn't leave me, and more, I found that I could hardly wait until her order–small as it was–was ready to be delivered. Though it was small, she had ordered a pendant that I thought was exquisite, and priced reasonably too. I thought she would be happy to wear it, perhaps often. When it arrived, I called her.

"Oh, good. How about you bring it on Friday and have dinner here then?"

"Yes, I could do that," I said instantly, my heart beating faster than normal.

I had a friend. Maybe I was premature in thinking that, but that's what I thought, what I preferred to think, and refused to allow any doubts to enter into my mind. When it was Friday, I fussed with what to wear, I was so excited. I put on a fairly new blouse and a coordinated skirt–at least it seemed coordinated to me–I so wanted to make a good impression.

* * * *

"Welcome, Hannah," Rona greeted me. "I hope you're good and hungry. The steaks are ready to go on, and everything else is already finished."

I'm sure I blushed, or maybe I just felt flushed from my excitement of the expected wonderful evening that held I knew not what in store. I handed her the cards and the pendant.

"Oh, good. Let's see how this goes with these clothes," she said, going for the pendant instantly.

It had an unusual design, much of it in a soft blue with a sterling silver necklace. It went more than well with her clothes.

"Well, what do you think?"

"I think you have great taste," I said truthfully.

"Or you have a nice product here that just happened to fit some clothes that needed a little something to dress them up. Thank you. Would you like some wine to stir your hunger? I'm having a bit of sweet red wine."

I started to say no, but then thought that maybe I should, but just a little.

"I'm not much of a drinker; well, I don't really drink, but..."

"Then just a sip, enough for you to taste it and stir those taste buds for your steak. How's that?"

I smiled, a new flush of embarrassment coming to my face, and nodded my agreement.

True to her word, she did just give me a small taste. I liked it, but my training had me going very slow, little though there was in the glass.

"Rare, medium rare, medium, or well done?" she asked.

"Medium I think."

"That's how I like mine. Lately I've grown afraid of any meat looking raw."

As she moved about, I couldn't help but look at her again. Well, stare somewhat. Rona was pretty, and slender as I said, but she moved with a grace that was enhanced by her svelte figure. She had on sandals that looked good on her, and a skirt that was fairly form-fitting; not tight, yet encasing her figure in a way that was naturally flattering. Seeing her, I realized I was pretty much examining her and that caused me to blush. I was glad she didn't see how red my face had to be looking.

Something about her, how she looked, the way she was with me–casual, yes, but also leaving me with a feeling of intimacy. Once more I was glad she couldn't see how red my face must have gotten with that thought, but the thought embellished my feeling of some sort of intimacy with her.

Her hair was short, but not severely. It had a sheen of freshness, a silkiness that was beautiful to look at. Every hair was in place just like a model. Then it occurred to me that she might be a model considering the way she moved, her grace, not to mention a marvelous posture.

"Well, now it's ready. Let's sit to eat it and enjoy the good company. Oh, perhaps some iced tea for now?"

"Yes, thank you," I said. "I feel totally selfish not doing a thing to help you."

"Hmm, maybe we can fix that with the dishes when we're through. I can't have you feeling anything but useful, now can I?" she winked with a small, sly smile.

I swear, my heart fluttered and my face began to burn, but I managed to control it. However it didn't escape her this time.

"You blush easily, don't you?" she asked, her smile soft and playful.

It made my blush worse, and her smile became a grin.

"I'll not mention it again," she said easily. "Now let's eat."

She had cooked the perfect steak and we enjoyed it as well as occasionally making small talk between bites. She literally had me feeling as if we were old friends, even confidants as my silly imagination fashioned it–a very silly imagination.

True to her words, she and I washed the dishes and left her kitchen sparkling before going to her living room where we spent an evening of just gabbing and being comfortable with each other. Though I didn't learn much at all about Rona, I still felt light and happy when I left. Before that, though, she did insist on my returning the following week to reprise our wonderful evening. The flush of happiness that was in me was a flush I was more than glad to be feeling.

Chapter 3

That was the beginning of my love, of finding out who it was that I had shut up in me; the person that longed to come out though I hadn't consciously known it. There were times when I would sit in The Sweetest Angels, a lesbian club, and look at all of the females, admiring them, thinking of how it all began.

As I would look with dreamy appreciation at the many girls, women, on the dance floor, and those at the various tables and at the bar, my thoughts couldn't be stopped, nor did I want them to stop. How could I not have known or realized that I so longed to love another woman? That puzzled me, but more as a wondering at how things were for me.

My mother seldom hugged or kissed me, and my father was a fairly stiff person, a duty bound person doing as he thought proper for a man to be doing, taking care of his family as he strived to serve God. His rich voice as he sang was unmistakable, and he often sang solo "in praise of the Lord" as he always put it. I did love to hear him sing and I know my mother was proud of him doing so, not to mention all the others that approved with their " Amen"s as accolades afterward.

Those were few of the times when I felt a true kinship with him, and in a way, with my mother because of it. It was Rona who awakened me, brought me to life, caused me to truly appreciate my love of seeing other women, appreciating their femininity in their various ways, and appreciate them I did, and without end.

No, I wasn't an insatiable sexually needing lesbian, but I did mightily enjoy the sex part of it. My learning of myself was slow in starting. Rona and I had more than one more meeting that often included supper–we had many, and so much so that I was there at her place just about every Friday evening, and then on weekends. I loved being with her, and more, I was falling in love with her and didn't know it for the longest time, or at least is seemed to be a long time before I consciously knew it.

She did truly love having me with her; I could tell. There was no phoniness, no insincerity. She genuinely loved my company as I loved hers, and how could I not. It wasn't long before I was very much at ease in her presence from the moment I walked in until the moment that I left. In no time I noticed the way she'd touch my arm as she passed me, or I passed her. The touches were innocuous, simply two people who were friends and knew it, and had become very close in that friendship. What I began to notice was how I loved her fleeting touches whether on my bare arm or through my clothes, or her casual arm on my shoulder.

Those were all things I had never known before meeting her. Then there were the times when I began to spend the night with her. We'd stay up late gabbing of nothing at all, but enjoying every word that passed between us. One evening we had stayed up late, we woke up early the next morning, and I was dragging. We were sitting on the sofa as we so often did.


Whispers From My Heart



"You're really sleepy, aren't you" she noticed.

"Sort of, I guess. Maybe I didn't sleep well."

"Why don't you go take a nap? It's okay," she has smiled that marvelous and gentle smile she had.

"No, that's okay," I lied, but mildly. I sure didn't want her to feel she'd kept me up.

"Alright, then lay your head on my lap and we'll talk till you fall asleep. Come on," she invited, her arm opening up to prove it was okay.

She had reclined, and her lap was too inviting, I was so comfortable with her. I'd eased my head onto her lap and her hand just as quickly was in my hair, brushing it as it were, with her fingers. It was so gentle and soothing, that though we did talk some, I was soon asleep. It was several hours before I woke up, her fingers still wending their way slowly through my hair.

"Oh my, how long have I been asleep?"

"Just a couple of hours."

"I'm so sorry," I worried needlessly though I didn't know it then.

"No need to be sorry, Hannah. I've enjoyed looking at you. You do have a lovely facial skin, so alive and vibrant. Has anyone told you that?"

"Well, a long time ago, I think."

"I have noticed it many times; I would think that you'd be complimented on it often. If not, you should be."

I did have a smooth skin, and though not rosy, my cheeks were different from most others I'd seen, yet not even my mother had commented on it. At that thought, I know I blushed mildly.

"And that blush also complements it," she said with a smile.

"I'm sorry...ah, thanks," I stumbled a bit in my embarrassment, though why I was embarrassed I had no idea.

At first, the times I had slept overnight at her house, I had slept in the spare bedroom. The first time I had used a long night shirt of hers, but soon she had me bring a couple of sleeping shirts and a few extra panties and another set or two of outer wear. All of this was slow developing, but that time sleeping in her lap stayed in my memory as a treasured thought.

Two things developed, though I didn't quickly recognize either one. The first was how I was surreptitiously looking at Rona more and more, but when I realized this, I was no longer looking on the sly. I was drawn to her not only as a person, but as someone who somehow excited me. This wasn't like Sarah when I was a still a child. No, not at all. I was seeing her as a woman that I loved looking at, and yes, sometimes in a way such as a daydream, yet somehow conscious of it.

The second thing that was happening in me was that my mind would suddenly bring to my remembrance of how it was for me when she'd had me lay my head on her lap. The feelings I had been aware of and found that I loved, became emotions that had me wanting to feel that way again and trying to plot on how to make it reoccur. I felt shame at feeling as I was, but honestly, the thought of having my head in her lap, and her hands on me, in my hair, the seeming caresses, excited me in a way that left me feeling a strange and wondrous warmth thus shutting out the initial shame that I had felt.

I suppose Rona wasn't what most would consider beautiful, but over time, I was seeing her that way; she was definitely more than easy to look at, she had such a marvelous symmetry that beckoned to my eyes. I knew that I was wanting nothing more than being with her, and more, she was in my thoughts endlessly. What it was that I wanted from her, other than to be near her every moment, I had no idea at that time, but I was wanting it, and badly.

As the school year wore on, I was spending every weekend at Rona's. When spring break came, she invited me to spend it with her. To say that that thrilled me would be putting it mildly–I was ecstatic!

That week was heavenly, though it did bring some trepidation. Wearing shorts and T-tops as we so often did, I reveled in being able to see her for more than a weekend. However, we did dress up to go to a movie, then to dinner, though casually so. Home–I was thinking of it as my home–we were once again in shorts and comfortable tops. It was the appointed time when I was to really know love, the love that had been burning in me to be known. Sitting on the couch and talking, she suddenly looked at my face with an intensity I seldom saw in her.

"Hannah, you do have such beautiful skin; your face is lovelier from it, so vibrantly alive," she said, her hand stealing up to caress my cheek.

It all happened so swiftly. My breath caught, and I know I sighed deeply at her touch. She'd never touched me like that before. Without thought my face turned into her hand, my heart swelling and my breath catching. Before I knew it, I had turned enough against her palm to kiss it as I nearly swooned in my sudden joy. Again, without warning, I heard my words escape from my heart to my lips.

"I love you, Rona. I really love you!"

There! It was out and I didn't fear though I was anxious as I kissed her palm again.

"Do you? Do you really love me? Because if you do, you have to know that I love you too," she whispered tenderly.

I looked into her beautiful blue eyes and saw her love in them. Again, my heart threatened to burst in my breast. Where I had seen welcoming friendship in her eyes before, love had replaced it; there was no mistaking what I saw in them. Rona longed for me just as I had been longing for her. The love that I knew was in my eyes, as I gazed into hers was a mirror that drew us together.

Wordlessly, our faces neared to each other's, then our lips met. Everything stood still, even time as I felt her lips on mine. I felt my heart sigh with love as she explored my lips with her tongue sending shivers of joy throughout my body.

"Hannah," she whispered, her mouth barely apart from mine, "are you sure?"

"Yes," I whispered my breath warming her lips as hers had warmed mine. "I've been in love with you for a long time now. I knew it, yet I didn't, or wouldn't believe that we could be. Yes!" I said emphatically at the end, my voice suddenly a hiss.

As if she could no longer resist, she kissed me again, this time firmly, fully, her lips twisting on mine making me do as she was doing. The raptures that engulfed me had me knowing that whatever our love was, or would be, was fine with me.

That was a huge thing with me, what with all of the preaching I had heard from many pulpits about love between men, or between women, being the worst abomination before God. I would burn in everlasting fires, but the fire in me as we kissed was an irresistible flame. Whatever course our love would take, I could not deny it; indeed, I wanted it as I'd never wanted anything else. I had never been drawn to anything, or anyone as I was drawn to Rona.

Our kiss seemed to go on forever, our bodies straining to become one, but then with her breath as ragged as mine, she pulled back. Some part of me wanted to scream for her to keep kissing me, to hold me as she had been, to let me feel her as fully against me as possible, but that was not to be no matter how desperately I wanted it. Her look was nearly as frantic as I had suddenly felt.

"Come, let's make sure," was all she said, getting up and tugging at me to do the same.

She led us to her bedroom and turned on a light, but set it on low. We stood there looking at each other able to see well, though a bit shadowy. My heart was racing. I knew something wondrous was about to happen though I still felt some fear at whatever it might be.

She began undoing her clothes, but slowly.

"I need to make sure that this is what you want. You are much too precious in my heart and mind and I don't want to hurt you in any way," she said as she was down to her bra and panties.

It was as if I had been transported and time was standing still though my heart was pounding madly in my breast, and my breathing had become labored though I kept it quiet. There was an eagerness in me too, a wanting to see more of Rona which I knew was what she meant to do else why was she taking her clothes off as she was.

My breath speeded up some more in my sudden desire; feelings and emotions clamoring for whatever was to come that were exciting me so.

Reaching behind her, she unhooked her bra and very deliberately peeled it off of her breasts. My breath caught. I had seen breasts on girls before, but this was Rona, and she was a woman, and I loved her so. More, her breasts were so sweet looking even in the close darkness, her nipples turgid. Merciful God, my lips were dry, yet I was salivating, and more, I so wanted to touch them.

Somehow I knew that I had wanted this since forever, yet hadn't thought it consciously, but I did just then. Peculiar sounds were emanating from someplace within me–soft quiet sounds that I knew were the same as if I had said words that begged, but for what I had no idea yet. I just knew I wanted her to go on with her beautiful torture of my inner desires that were awakening with a loud scream in me.

Then only her panties remained and my desperation was growing exponentially. My body was leaning forward in anticipation, and I knew that I wished that I had rushed to her to help her remove them. My strange sounds continued, but as if internal whispers of my heart.

Whispers of my heart. Suddenly I knew that my heart had been whispering to me since I was but a small child. It was why I was so close to Sarah, why I had been so desolate when she left. No, I knew I didn't want to be this way with Sarah, but I wanted, needed, the intimacy of her nearness, whatever that might have been for a child.

My whispers were the screams that were suddenly roaring within me. How I withstood not going to Rona was almost miraculous, but then she bent down to fully remove her panties then lifted up to stand fully naked before me. I was shocked! My eyes had been riveted on what remained hidden, and then it was all revealed.

Rona was not only naked, she was completely hairless. She had no pubic hair whatsoever. Though I was stunned to immobility as I stared at her, sensations I never knew possible were rushing through my body from my head to my toes. My breathing was ragged as could be, and my heart increased its beating to a frenzy. Those quiet sounds I was making became louder, and as I realized it, I also knew I was moving stonily to close the space between us.

My head bowed as I kept closing the space to her, and a loud moan escaped me as my hand, unbeknownst to me, reached to touch her vaginal area. She was wet!

Somehow I instinctively ran a finger between her vaginal lips, and moaned even more. Again, the sensations were flying to and fro in me–wild sensations of pure delight that were wholly sexual and more, they were centered at the juncture of my thighs like a beautiful queasy feeling that was so heavenly.

"Oh, god, Rona," I heard my whispered words.

More, the finger that had her wetness came up to my face, and with my eyes closed in sensual delight, I licked her off of it. Her taste, and all the emotions that flushed my body were electric. I fell into her arms that had quickly come around me.

She held me as she softly kissed my neck, my shoulder, then my cheek. As she did that seemingly without end, I knew I wanted to be just as naked as she was and to be feeling us skin to skin. It was like a rush of need, of love, of desire, and yes, I knew, of lust. I had to feel all of her with all of me. I was choking with desire, and some tears escaped me from the too great emotion that gripped me.

"Hannah, my love, my sweet love, you're making me so happy," she said quietly. "Now, please, let me take your clothes off so we can get in bed and let me love you. Would you like that, my sweet love?"

"Ye–yes," I stammered almost breathlessly, "but hurry. Please hurry."

She didn't. She disrobed me just as slowly as she had removed her own clothing, but though I was so anxious, I loved the torture, and more, her more than sensual touch over my whole body as bit-by-bit, she took off the few clothes I had. When she took my bra off, I had to hug her, to feel of our breasts knowing of each other, to caress and cry out for the love that was in us.

As beautiful as that was, it was even more wondrous when she began to lower my panties as she did so in such a stunning way. One hand went into my waistband from the front, and the other more or less from behind. The sensations were unbelievable, the hand on my cheek so sensuous while the one in front eased its way down toward my vagina making my legs to quiver unsteadily from the pleasures that were shooting through me. When her hand was at my vagina, just as I had done, so did she: a finger found its was between my lips that were so wet that I could feel them.

Sliding through my lips, I felt a piercing sharpness of utter joy go through me, the pleasure so deep that my body slumped into her as much as it could. I was reduced to a simpering child.

"Please," I heard my crying whisper, and nothing else for my breath was as naught.

She was making it a magnificent production that had me either in a heaven of sexual delights that were wholly new to me, or in the depths of a sexual enchantment. Whatever it was, I never wanted to leave where she had me, it was all so wondrously beautiful.

As if to make a liar out of what I was sensing, pulling her front hand out and looking at me, I saw her deliberately show me the finger that was wet from my desires, then painfully, slowly, lick it very purposely with her tongue, then slide it into her mouth with her eyes closed as if savoring me, with a much too sexy moan of her own pleasure.

My body felt a weakness in every muscle; she had me wanting her as I never wanted anything else.

"God, you taste so sweet, Hannah. Now let me love you," she said as she gently pushed me back so that I eased onto the bed.

I would do anything she asked of me just then, she had me so wanting. I would want her ever more as she did begin to love me. She started with small kisses to my whole face as she laid her body fully atop mine, though keeping most of her weight off of me. Those kisses had their own magical sensations to thrill me with and sink me deeper into the abyss of her love. I know I heard my sighs softly release as she kissed my eyes that went into the dreamland of her beautiful sexual awakening of me.

Those kisses went on over my face, to my ears where she teased me endlessly before moving to my neck and making me moan either for mercy, or for more of her wondrous torture of me, but when she returned to my lips, a wild passion erupted from within me and I ravaged her lips as she did the same to mine. I was lost in my lustful hungering of Rona and ready for more. More was forthcoming for she moved slowly down my body to my breasts and nipples which she treated with a tenderness that kept shooting to my vagina. My soft cries of ecstasy were never ending.

Involuntarily, my hips had been rising, swaying as if begging. I was aware of it happening and wondered at it, how my sexual body was so centered on my vaginal area, and so desperately wanting, craving, but I still didn't know what it was wishing for. She helped my understanding with her fingers parting my pubic hair, then her lips pressing onto them as her tongue began to slide from near my anus up through my lips, then to the most sensitive spot that I vaguely knew as my clitoris. As she let her tongue slide over it, my hips jerked up wantonly, and my head tried to lift as if to see, but I was in a fog of my unknown desires being met.

I became lost in a sea of utter joy!

It was as if stars were bursting in celebration of my sexual awakening, of my body knowing the joyful feelings of sensations that were piercing, shockingly beautiful until my sexual center flew up to the heavens in a fit of joy that gripped me and held me in its thrall.

When next I knew what was happening, I was being cradled with my face against her one breast, and my body was feeling after shocks of all the joys she had instilled in me, in my body that felt so loved.

"Hannah, my sweet baby, do you have any idea of how much I love you, how much I enjoyed making love to you, and now holding you so close to me?"

Her words were soft, dripping with a sweetness I had never know, and thrilling me so much that new sensations mixed and melded with those that remained from her loving of my body that was still singing her praises.

The joy that filled my heart was just about too much. I felt my tears of happiness, and somehow I instinctively kissed her breast, then took her nipple into my mouth. As soon as I had captured it, I refused to let it go. In a new fit of eagerness, one hand went to her other breast, and my lower one eased up to cup the one my mouth was on as I sucked lovingly on her nipple. Newer yet sensations filled me; new hungers entered into me as her one of her hands cradled my head closer to her breast as I heard the moans of her own pleasure.

Those sounds egged me on, and though I stayed there for a while sucking and licking to give her more joys, I soon found I was kissing down her own body eager to be at that erotic juncture of her thighs that had so enthralled me earlier. Once there, I cried out as my body was flushed with some of the most pleasurable sensations: her lips felt so erotic, so beautiful to my lips, and my tongue that couldn't wait to lick her flowing love that had enthralled me earlier.

Rona's taste was so electric in me, and I went after her feverishly, mewling noises abundantly being made by me as I enjoyed drinking all she offered to my mouth. The sensations of her moist heat, her naked skin that was pulsing, and the rising of her hips much as mine had done, were all I wanted, all I would ever want. Then I discovered the secret place of our pleasures.

Her clitoris had swelled, it seemed, and made a tempting spot for me to suckle as I had her nipple. When that was sending her to those wonderful unknown places of love, I had to continue, but varying my licking and sucking of it, but not just for her pleasure, but for mine too for I loved loving her as I was.

When her moans and groans were coming too frequently, and her hips rose more and more, then swayed wildly, I clung to her for I remembered how it had been with me. Not letting her go, nor stopping my lips and tongue actions, I drank the profusion of her love as I heard her guttural groan of climax.

Rona was as if asleep, and I was uptight in my unforgiving wanting to love her even more. Forcing myself to do nothing further, I couldn't help my wish to lie with my head on her thigh and vaginal lips. Feeling her warmth, and how her inner sex was contracting, making her lips pulse out even more of her wet love, I suffered my desires with a shortened breathing and a roaming hand that ran up and down a thigh up to one of her cheeks. By the wild and swelling beat of my heart, I knew that I was more than in love.

Chapter 4

It was a strange moment for me. As I had adamantly refused to move unless forced to, my thoughts and feelings, my emotions, ran amok, some worrisome, others so sweet and wondrous. One of the worrisome ones was about Rona, and oddly, not at all about me. I feared that I had led her to the eternal fires of hell, of condemnation before God.

My fear for Rona was so fierce that I shivered madly. She sensed it for she twitched her hips and her vagina reacted with them too, but only sending a bit more of her still slowly flowing love out. I had to take it, and my tongue brought a soft moan from her as if in enjoyment.

It was a wonder that I didn't worry about my own condemnation, but then again, I smugly and most improperly thought of my fires of eternal punishment were already being had by me, and they were most enjoyable, for they were the growing embers of my heated self desiring nothing but Rona and her love. She had undone me, and I was so glad, damned or not.

The marvelous love that she had shown me erased my feelings and thoughts of disobeying the Almighty, and I didn't dwell on it. Instead I dwelled on the overpowering sensations of love from her still pulsating lips. I couldn't resist it, couldn't resist her, and without thought, just a burning need, my lips sought her love and my tongue quickly, but very lovingly licked up what she had offered, and hoped she would bless me with more.




Whispers From My Heart



Yes, bless me, for Rona was now my Goddess, and I had no qualms about her being so to me. I would pay for my present joy later, and just then, I thought, I would do so gladly, though I knew that wouldn't be so at the day of my judgement. Just then, I had to have more of her love, and soon I was rewarded when she moan too much, and her lovely hips again signaled he acquiescence to my love of her. Merciful heavens, my heart was bursting once more with my love of her.

"You know that you're spoiling me, don't you?" she finally whispered hoarsely.

"No, you're spoiling me. I didn't know anything about love as I'm feeling it now, and it's all I want, so I thank you. My God, I love you so much, and I love loving you too, showing you how much I do love you, Rona," my words tinged with a passion that startled me, a passion that I loved feeling in myself.

"Come up here and let me hold you, baby," she entreated me, again making my heart flutter with her calling me baby.

Though I didn't want to move, how could I refuse her? I couldn't, but as I crawled up her naked body, enjoying touching it so fully with my own naked body, my joys were being multiplied. How, I had wondered, could this love be a sin? Suddenly it seemed to be nothing but one of life's biggest pleasures, its most wondrous longing within us.

She kissed my face, then my lips, sticky though they were from her drying love on them. To me, it was as if I had put on lipstick before moving up to her, yet I hoped she would think the same thing. She must have, for we had a long, luxurious kiss that soon had us both wanting to love again, but it was not to be, at least not yet.

"Let's take a shower and freshen ourselves up, okay?"

Nodding my head, that brought a new excitement to me. We'd touch often, and I'd get to see her nakedness to my hearts content. Then I wondered if my heart would ever be content at seeing her, or forever be wanting to see all of her all the time. Such a lovely quandary.

As she left the bed my eyes seemed to swell at the sight of her naked body. With the light on, I could see all of her, and that was to make my life what it so much is now. All of the whispering that my heart had done within me was suddenly a morass of those quietly spoken thoughts in me, a vast jumble of them, and all telling me of the beauty of Rona's body, and how I loved all of it. My eyes fought for where to look so much so that I wished I was one of those lizards with eyes that could look two different ways at once. My stomach lurched with the sudden hungers I was feeling.

"Come on, sweetie. Let me look at you too," she caught me, but with a sweetness that made my love surge again.

Obeying her, I rose from the bed and walked to her smiling face. Once there, I had to hug her tightly, to feel our naked bodies pressing together once more.

"Rona, I want to be as you are," came out of my mouth unbidden.

"Oh, how so, honey?"

"Like you. You felt so deliciously erotic to my lips when I loved you. I can't describe the feelings, the emotions that shot through me, and I thought that it would feel nice to you too if I was like that."

"That's sweet of you; we can do that for you if you wish," was her response.

We walked into the shower and i continued to gaze at her body, and again, I fought within myself over what part of her to concentrate on. Why, oh why couldn't I look at her everywhere at the same time? Aside from her face that I had so often loved looking at, i realized that I loved looking at her neck, her shoulders, her lovely breasts and tummy, and of course I dearly loved her shorn vaginal lips.

Looking down at the thighs that my one hand had roved over, a heat that was building in me boiled to where I didn't see anything but my lusting for her, to make love to her again. My breath shortened so much that I had to lean into her to keep from falling.

"Rona, I need to make love to you again. I'm sorry, but..." I couldn't finish.

She held me and gently rubbed my back as I felt as much of her as I could, our hips and genitals nearly glued together, our breasts mashed into each other's.

"Patience, my sweet love, patience," she admonished me softly. "Let's wash, then shave you so that it'll be more satisfying to you. Okay?" she asked, but sealed the decision with a tender kiss that was still filled with her own growing passion.

That excited me more, but the promise of an even more satisfying sex held me in its thrall.

We did wash, then dried each other, or mostly she did all the drying, I was so addled by my continued sexual cravings that were so new and powerful in me. Then she had me to shave, which she had to help me with less I disfigure my lips. When it was done and I felt of them, I felt my body flush crimson, I was so turned on, so ready to rush to the bed.

"Let me have a taste of the new you," she said as she laid on her back, and pulled me to come over her.

Her voice was hoarse, commanding, and though I wanted to make love to her, I did as she asked, then let her move me up to where I was over her face. What happened next was so erotically exquisite. She pulled my lips down over her face and made love to me like that.

Without prompting, or knowledge afore hand, my hips began to jog on her lips, it was all feeling so hedonistic. Though it came to me that I was a fallen woman worthy of condemnation, I was in the grip of the sensations her lips and tongue were giving me. They shot through me like piercing shards, sharp needles of pleasure; pleasures that swelled and spread throughout my body in such a way that it was as if my body was tasting of each sensation and finding each one so delicious.

I cried out in my joys, and rode her face mercilessly until my climax came wherein I pressed onto her face–sat hard on it, really–but quickly lifted off of her though I felt her pulling at me as if to keep me on her as her tongue worked furiously to lick up all the love that seemed to gush out of me.

It was mercilessly powerful, so much so that I toppled over, barely able to breathe. As I struggled with my breath, and felt the continuing pleasures roil in my body, I also heard Rona struggling to breathe.

"My god, that was fantastic, baby," she finally got out, though barely.

Me? My vagina was as if throbbing like mad, the wild heat from it as if not wanting to dissipate, and telling me to not let it leave, to do whatever I could to keep it, but I couldn't move. The feelings of sexual sweetness captured my mind and thoughts, and I let myself dwell on them, then slowly closed my eyes and slept.

When I woke up, Rona was raining soft kisses on my face, her hand caressing my hair, tenderly combing through it, then softly running down the side of my body to my cheek and thigh, then gently pulled me by my cheek to press against her. Her hand squeezing and caressing my cheeks, and holding us close was as an invitation to make love again, and I was ready.

Moving me as she would, she spun around and took my lips to her mouth and offered me her vagina. Eager again, I took it as we made love to each other, our hands on each other's cheeks pulling us as close together as possible. One of her hands spread, then lifted my top leg to get at me more fully. Following he lead, I did the same, and knew I was in a sexual heaven as I tried to bury my face between her lovely and tasty lips. My sounds of joy knew no bounds as I licked madly between her lips, then suckled one. The feelings were more than electric as pangs of sharp sensual sensations racked my hungering body.

She had done the same to me, and we gorged on each other until we both were too tired, yet not sated at all. I knew she was as I was, and wishing we could continue endlessly. We were so worn out though that we fell asleep as we were, our faces at each other's vagina. Though I was desperate for more, yet somehow I was contented.

Chapter 5

It was something new to me in every way. When we finally did get up, I couldn't help but stare at her body. The sense of everything I saw of her being lovely to look at had me wanting to keep looking. While Rona's back was to me, I looked at it, then at her cheeks, and the swell that led to them, as well as how they protruded in the sweetest of ways. It wasn't my thing to look at the backside of any girl, but now I did, and felt my body going slack with the wanting of it.

So how could I have her buttocks? All I could do was to look at them and touch, or maybe cup them, maybe even kiss them. Still, that was what I wanted, but I didn't try to do it. What I did do was to look at her legs, ankles, and feet. Was it what one did when one was in love with another? I didn't know, but I knew I was enjoying looking at her. That, too, changed my life.

"Are you enjoying looking at me?" she asked with an impish smile.

"I think so; you're beautiful to look at, you know."

"No, I don't, but that's very sweet of you to say, to think so."

She meant it. Hadn't anyone else told her how gorgeous her naked body looked? I found that hard to believe, but then again, I knew next to nothing about her personal life.

When I left the bed, I did a strange thing. The mirror atop her dresser seemed to call to me, and I looked at myself, at my shorn pubic area. A flash of fire rushed through me, hot, demanding, as if speaking some nebulous words in the silent language of sensing that I was just learning, yet knew from birth. They were as sexual sensations and my hands went to my lips and caressed them in obedience to the silent command. They felt so erotic, so sensual as I kept gently running my hands over them. Sex was beautiful, and I had loved it and knew I wanted more of it. I turned to see Rona staring at me, a look of wondering on her face.

"I couldn't help it. I've never thought of shaving, or what it might feel like, or what...what I'd feel like this way as I was being loved like you loved me."

My voice was dreamy, I knew, and my words true.

"You really don't have any experience with sex, or thoughts of it, do you?" she asked, again, great wonder in her eyes and voice.

"No. None. I guess I never thought of it, or didn't let myself think of it."

"My god, a virgin in every way, huh?" she asked, but was not expecting an answer. "You were beautiful to love, Hannah. I pretty much knew you were a virgin, but I had no idea that you'd been so closed off to sex. The religion really had you in it's grip, huh?"

"I guess so. My parents are extremely religious, and I think that they passed on to me that sex wasn't good, for the most part. I don't understand it. I don't understand how they didn't like it the way I did, the way I do."

Again, my voice was quiet, almost a whispering, sort of like my heart started to do to me a little while ago. I had never heard it whispering to me before. Why not? Maybe I blocked it out all. I wished I hadn't, but was glad that it did finally speak to me. I loved sex with Rona and wanted it again, and maybe again soon afterward too.

* * * 

We did have more sex, but before that, I continued to look at Rona's body, and yes, to touch it, to caress parts of it, her breasts, then her cheeks that totally enthralled me, and most of all, her vagina. When I touched her there, my fingers had to go between her lips, and when they did, and I felt her wetness, I'd slump into her with the utter joy that robbed me of everything but the sensations that flooding my body.

Gratefully, Rona remained naked, for me, I thought, then again, maybe she did so to tease me and make me want more of her, which I did. Going against her back and pressing myself to her buttocks, I once more became lost in her and how her buttocks felt to my naked vagina. My hands took every liberty as I knew Rona was loving my caressing of her body. My heart was whispering to me again, directing my hands, as if it was the one who was doing the enjoying instead of me. Could hearts enjoy? Was it possible for them to take one over and tell one silently what to do and let one know that all was okay, to just allow it to enjoy what it told one to do?

It must be so for I did it without thought, and with my heart, I enjoyed Rona's body too. It was then that I knew that Rona's body also whispered to me for she moaned, then let out a sigh of delight as my hands stole down from her breasts and nipples to her vaginal lips. We were caught up in the silent whisperings of our hearts, and maybe of our bodies as she leaned back into me, her hands covering mine tenderly, caressing them as they took of her wetness, or her love of my loving of her.

My own body must have leaned into hers too else she would have thrown us back onto the floor, such was her giving into my ministrations. My ministrations? Vaguely, I sensed that my fingers were being led to pass beyond the opening of her lips. I was caressing their interior, searching out the source of her rampaging river that was flooding my fingers, feeling the softness within that throbbed. Her body was telling me to enter into her depths, to find where her love came from, and then to have my other hand seek her clitoris and love it too.

My lips at her neck, gently kissing it many times over, savoring the joy of her, I knew we were both lost in our love, our love of me loving her so sweetly. Feeling her inner walls pulsing, throbbing, trying to lock my fingers to keep them within her, I could feel her wetness coating my fingers over and over again as they squeezed them continually. It was as if they was passionately kissing my fingers in a wild display of her desire. Yes, her body was whispering to me as mine was sighing more than contentedly. Much more.

As I softly and gently ran my moistened fingers over her clitoris and my fingers went in and out of her, we both let out a moan of our passionate longing, of our love of showing each other how much we desired each other. The sensations were exquisite, the feeling of being as in another world where our silent whisperings were all we needed to tell each other of how we loved being as we were, led us to a wondrous peaking. It was such a long and marvelous climax, one that was so beautiful that I knew we wished it would go on forever, but sadly, that was not to be. Yes, I had climaxed with her.

As if to reward us, and not leave us bereft of the love we'd just had, I knew she felt that afterglow, the sensations that suffused our whole being with a sense of the joy we'd just given to each other.

Afterward, those sensations from the afterglow compelled us to make love again. She had me to sit on her face again. Just the thought of her asking me to let her love me like that melted me. Even better, I had the audacity to ask her to sit on my face too. As I was asking, I felt nervous, afraid she might say no, but when she agreed, my heart went wild in me and I quickly laid back to receive her. I had to have my arms under her so I could feel of her cheeks and as best I could, to make sure she was flush against my face so I could get as much of her as I could. I was so shameful in letting myself be known to be loving her as I was, my noises of appreciation were so constant, and, I feared, loud. 

"Lord, you love eating my pussy like that as much as I like eating yours that way too," she said.

"Yes. You've made me so hungry for you, and I want to do it again. I want to do it all again."

"Hmm, it's a good thing we have this whole week. Think we'll survive it, or will we kill ourselves making too much love?" she teased me with her devilish smile.

"The way you make me feel, if I died while loving you, I'd think it was okay if the feelings would stay with me. I do love how you taste, and all the sensations that play in my body and drive me so wild," I rhapsodized. It was true.

I was in love with Rona, and I was in love with sex with her. She and sex with her was all I wanted.

* * *

Sitting there, I remembered, and at the same time, I adored looking at all of those lovely feminine bodies that I'd learned to adore. Being with Rona wasn't only exhilarating, it opened me up to being a very open and visible voyeur. Rona seemed to love watching me long for her, touch her as if new each time, run my finger, or fingers, through her pussy's lips and groan with the surge of emotions and sensations that always overwhelmed me.

That one week set me to be as I'd always be, as apparently I was born to be though I had no notion of it until Rona threw open the doors to my inner desires. Odd as it was, as much information as is readily available to us all, it was as if I knew nothing at all about sex, about making love. Sperm and egg were just words, the coming together sexually was just words in a book that had no meaning for me. They just didn't register for whatever reason. It was loving being in Rona's company that started me making the real connections, making it all meaningful to me in a personal way.

Just wanting to be with Rona was similar to wanting to be with Sarah when we were children, simply a longing for the closeness, and without any other meaning. Rona gave it all meaning. Maybe it was the day when she had me to lay my head on her lap and her hands softly caressing me, combing my hair. All of the previous touches that were so incidental, but so warming to my person; it came together, began to make me want her touch, to plot excuses to have her touch me.

And lastly, it must have built up in me to where it all came rushing out as if unbidden, like a stranger suddenly robbing me, but giving me treasures instead of taking them. Until that moment, I hadn't put it all together yet, but when I did, I praised the day that Rona was desirous of me too for she led me into myself, to be a lover of women, to do as I did after Rona was gone.

I looked longingly at first one woman, then another, and my mind pictured them without clothes, leaving only the wonder of what their breasts, nipples, buttocks, and pussy looked like, and when one really appealed to me, to wondering what she would taste like. At times like that, I would shiver with delight.

I did love them all, or mostly so. Those big and pushy butches, them I didn't like so naturally I seldom looked at them, but if I seemed to be looking at them, it was actually the femme they were trying to bamboozle that I was looking at.

As with Rona, I could look at one's delicately turned ankle, or her smooth and inviting calf. If one showed a thigh, I would salivate and my pussy would just about spasm in delight. How marvelous a woman could be to the eyes. My heart was forever whispering to me to look at this one, or that one, or see how this one looked so much like Rona even if her face was totally different.

I'd never forget Rona, nor would I ever cease to love her. While we were together, it was all as if I were not before, as if this was a new me, a me that I loved being as I'd never known was possible. During that one week, a world I never suspected opened up to me, but it was a world that I was born to. Then I had wondered, how would I ever tell my parents.

It was not something I feared doing for I knew that there was no turning back for me, nor did I consider that possibility. No, this was my life; it was something that I knew with a startling, yet sure conviction. What I did fear was how they would feel, how I could keep from hurting them with this sudden change in my person that I totally loved. It was not something that I was taking lightly.

Without a doubt I knew that I was a lesbian, a lover of women, but specifically, of one woman–Rona! I adored her so much that I couldn't take me eyes off of her, or keep from touching her. For a while I thought it was the newness of the joys she brought to me, but that was not so. This world she had so sweetly brought me into was a world that I suddenly knew had been in me though I had never suspected it.

Chapter 6