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What You Cost Me

By: slixter_01



I couldn't remember a time when I was more angry and I'm sure that if it could top this shit then I didn't want to remember it. It was the third time this mutha fucka had been late and everybody knows it's three strikes before you're out. This time he said he was already there waiting for me and yet we'd been standing on the dock for almost twenty minutes. He can't be trusted anymore. He wasn't punctual and that shit was dangerous because I didn't have time to waste. It could've been a fuckin set up. Now I'm gonna have to kill him which means I might have one less connection. I nod Donny over to me. "We gotta take him out." Donny sniffles against the cold. "You sure you want to? He said he was bringing a pretty big load. Plus he works for Marcus Cale." Donny was missing the point. I'd taken a risk I shouldn't have taken and paid in advance. He had my money and I didn't have my shit. "Call Marcus and tell him what's going on." Donny immediately started making the call. He was loyal, my left hand and hadn't let me down in almoat twenty years of friendship. I watched the coast of the bay from the dock waiting for the boat to immerge. I over heard Donny talking to Marcus. "....yeah He hasn't shown up yet. What!" I turn to see Donnys angry face. "Give me the phone." I say to him. I can already feel my blood beginning to boil. "This is Rose, what the fuck is going on?" I listen intently to the deep raspy voice on the phone as Marcus tells me something that sets me on fucking fire. He had sent the mutha fucka twelve hours ago with the shit. It only takes a half hour to reach this side of the city in a boat. So why even call me if he didn't plan to show? "If I see him I'm gonna kill him." I tell Marcus. "No. Bring him to me. He stole from me too." Then I heard the sirens. "You hear that Marcus?! Your boy set me the fuck up!" I end the call and toss Donny his phone. "Let's go boys!" I call to my crew. We run to our cars, the sound of sirens getting closer. I slide into the back seat of my Cadillac. Donny climbs in next to me and before he even closes the door I yell for Rick to drive. He takes off spitting gravel behind us. We ease our way onto the street, the sirens farther and farther away.

After a while Donny asks "What now?" I look out the window at the busy street. "Now we find him. Don't know what I'll do with him. But we gotta find him."

I call Marcus to let him know I want my money back. He tell me to meet him in a week at one of his compounds across the bridge. But we both establish that either way the snitch is dead.

************************************

After about three days of tracking my money and 3500 lbs of coke all around the city we found him. Garrett Sams was hiding out in an apartment right along the border of the next state over. As soon as I got the call I had my boys drag his ass back to the city and up to my room on the twenty seventh floor of the Gasrachi hotel. 

I sat alone in the love seat. The rest of the room was dim, dramatic like some gangster movie. Two knocks popped across the door and one of the boys opened it to let them in. They dragged Garrett in, blood dripping from his face, one eye swollen shut. I couldn't help but laugh. "See, it doesn't pay to cheat. At least not in your case." I could see the fear in his one eye. I had a reputation for being ruthless. I dug in my pocket and pulled out a leather glove that I had cut the finger tips off (it looked more rugged that way). The glove fit perfectly like one and I made a show of flexing my hand leaving no question as to what I was about to do. I took a step back. A big one. Balled up a fist and stepped into the punch landing one soundly on his nose. There was a crunch and a scream as his nose broke into about five pieces. "Where's my money Sams? Huh?" I send another one to his chin. "Where the fuck is my money!?" Garrett looks up at me through the strands of dampened hair falling over his brow. "I spent it." He mumbles, his voice heavy and nasly. I know he's lying. "You fucking liar! Where is it?!" A back hand slap to his cheek. "I spent it. I spent it." "You son of a bitch! On what?" He looks up again. 

"Huh?"

"You heard me! What did you spend it on?"

He looks around. He's lying.

"A car. I bought a car."

"What kinda car?"

He looks around again....

I lose my patience.

"Call Marcus. Tel him I wanna meet up now."

Donny, who had been standing next to me the whole time pulls out his phone before asking "do I tell him we got Sams?" 

I look the squealer in his eye.

"No. Slink him up."

*************************************

"Marcus says to meet him at the Lake Hills Farm in an hour."

That gave the boys twenty minutes to slink Sams until he could smell colors. 

It was a thirty minute drive to the farm because it was actually a place in the middle of fucking nowhere. Word was that Marcus owned it and that it was where he kept his supplies for the different underground trades he directed. Marcus Cale was rich. Then again so was I but I had decided to spend as little money as possible. The most expensive things I had bought was my cars and a few trucks for my crew. I had also bought a two story apartment that I called home. I was rarely 'home' but I wasn't gonna spend a dime more than I needed to until I was rich enough to put people away.

The field came into view, large, and overgrown. The land was completely flat aside from a few sparcely separated trees and a large house with a large shack next to it. We pulled into the long driveway that stretched up to the front door of the large house. I had brought a car and two truck loads of my guys. I got out of the car and two of my guys pulled Garrett out of the first truck. Including Donny, myself, and the two guys that were dragging Sams their were eight of us going in. The other twelve guys were waiting outside just in case. We were armed, all of us, taking no chances. I dealt with Marcus Cale. I did not trust him. Then again I didn't trust anyone.

The house was as large on the inside as it looked. The entryway was spacious with two staircases leading to the first floor. I was here for business so I pretended not to be impressed.

We were greeted by a butler who led us to a room off to the side and hidden. It was all white with a desk facing the door. Behind that desk sat Mr.Cale himself dressed in a black suit jacket with a red shirt. So formal. I was wearing black skinny jeans, black knee high boots and a black jacket. But I too sported a blood red shirt. The colors were powerful together. 

Eric and Blake dragged Sams up to his feet before pushing him to his knees in front of Marcus. Marcus smiled and gave a soft throaty chuckle.

"Where'd you find him?"

"In the next state over."

"Well you've already taken care of him for the most part. Garrett?"

Garrett lifts his head.

"Where's my product?"

"And where's my money?" I ask.

Marcus looks up at me.

"Getting you your supply will be no problem for me. But Mr.Sams here..."

Marcus goes to the wall and pulls something out. A branding iron. An M with a C around it.

"Mr.Sams will be punished until I know where the money and the product is."

He steps towards Garrett.

"It's in a warehouse on fifth street. By the docks." Sams cracks before Marcus gets to him.

"Thank you Mr.Sams." Marcus makes a quick phone call telling someone to pick it up then turns back to Garrett.

"I no longer need you."

He begs. "No please. It won't happen again Mr.Cale. I swear!"

Marcus pulls a gun from his jacket pocket and points it at Sams's head.

"I don't need a snitch. Besides, I have to set an example for my guests."

He pulls the trigger and kills him. His body falls and the blood spills from his head onto the polished hardwood floor. Then he walks to the door and asks that we follow leaving the body and blood to be cleaned by the butler.

We follow him out of the house and into the backyard. He walks us to the shack and pulls open the doors. No locks.

It is huge on the inside, almost a second house. But it is so different. The entire left wall is lined with stables and a closer look shows they aren't containing horses. There are girls in each stable, their ankles chained to the wall behind them. Marcus sees me looking and says 

"You can borrow one if you like. Think of it as a gift to compensate your inconvenience."

I don't answer and he doesn't press. 

On the right wall is stacks of marijuana bricks sitting next to a heaping pile of cocaine. The whole shack reeks of unwashed women and tons of narcotics.

All the way in the back is an area closed off with a door and he takes us in there. It's a completely wooden room, large with polished hardwood floors and sleek hardwood furnishings. A desk facing the door and a fireplace against the wall.

But on the other side of the room is a man beating one of the girls. He pulls her by long, filthy locks of curly hair then hits her with what looks like a club with a whip at the end. There are marks on her body visible from here. 

Marcus takes a seat at his desk and goes through an organized stack of files.

"Let's see. You paid about 25k for 3500 lbs..."

I can hear the girl cry out in the background.

"...I will give you what you paid for..."

The man says to her "Oh I know you won't do it again. I'm gonna make sure."

Marcus continues on like he can't hear them "...and we shouldn't have any problems."

He signals to someone and whispers in their ear. I feel my boys tense. We sit and wait for the okay that we've got what we came for and the whole time that man is beating that girl in the corner. I look at her from my side of the room and she looks right back at me. Her eyes. They're a beautiful hazel from here, almost golden.

"I want that one." I say to Marcus nodding towards the girl.

Marcus chuckles. "Would you like something to drink? Maybe some wine?" I accept the glass he's filled and wait for him to give me a knowing look as he sips the same wine before taking a sip myself. 

"Her? You sure? She's not yet broken in and she can't do oral worth shit. The only thing she's good for is being fucked and even that's dry."

I couldn't tell but I said nothing. He knew what I asked for.

"You want her for the night or the week?"

"How much is she?"

"Ha! You can have her free two nights as a gift."

The man cracked down on her again only this time she made no sound. Blood and mud covered almost every inch of her thin body. Her naked skin stretched taut over ribs and spine and other bones I wasn't supposed to be able to see.

"How much indefinitely?"

Marcus Cale let's an echoing laugh escape his throat.

"I don't sell my girls Ms.Rose."

"But theoretically if you did sell that girl how much would she be worth?"

"Theoretically, that girl is worth about..."

He eyes her. Bloody, malnourished, nearly broken. 

"Three thousand."

That was bull shit. Behind me Eric snickered. Donny looks at me questioningly. 

"Shave it off my supply."

"No no no. That's not how this works. I told you I don't sell."

Even though she's down the man hits her again. I keep reminding myself that I can't tell him to stop because he doesn't work for me. But if he hits her again...

He does. 

"Can you tell your guy to stop hitting her so I can see her?"

Marcus calls out. "Ziggy!"

Ziggy looks up.

"Leave her."

He backs away from her.

Calmly I look back at Cale.

"I'll pay any price."

He laughs again.

"I do honestly hope it's not because you pity her. I can almost garauntee if the roles were reversed she would not take pity on you. She would leave you here like no second thought and not have one at all."

I glance at her. She's so small. She looks so young.

"How old is she?"

"I believe she just turned nineteen."

"Name your price."

"Tell you what. Because I'm fair I'll do you a favor. You pay a thousand now and I'll let you keep her for a month. After that month if you still want her you come back here, pay the other two thousand and then she's yours. But I can garauntee you will want to be rid of her within the week."

I was curious as to why he had suddenly changed his mind. But if didn't matter.

I put out my hand to make another deal with Marcus Cole.

"Very well."

He shakes it.

"Ziggy clean her up."

I watch as he drags her limp body out of the room. Her eyes are barely open. 

"Maybe you should pick her up. She's bruised enough."

I say to Ziggy who looks at Marcus. Marcus nods. Ziggy half ass picks her up but I don't say more. He drags her to an empty stable, throws her in the gets a hose to hose her down. Immediately she screams, trying to get away from the water.

"What did she do that was so bad she got beat like that?"

"She just doesn't listen. She's too stubborn." Marcus says scratching at the thinly trimmed hair around his jaw. 

The blood has started to clear and now she looks worse because you can see every cut and bruise. Most on her body. She sports a huge bruise on her torso the size of a dinner plate. 

Marcus's men ask him where they put the bricks and Marcus looks at me. I call one of my guys to bring the trucks around. 

They start to load up my truck and I'm just praying none spills onto the black seude of my trunks.

After they are done everything is packed except the girl.

"No refunds." Marcus comes up next to me.

"I know." I mumble before turning to see the girl standing, shaking in an oversized T-shirt and flip-flops. She's still dripping wet and hasn't been bandaged so she keeps bleeding too.

I get Donny to ask for a large bag. The boys rip it open and lay it over my seat as a cover so her body never touches it.

I say my respectful goodbyes to Mr.Cale then hop in the car next to the girl. Donny slides in next to me and just before we take off Ziggy knocks on the window. I roll it down and he tosses me the whipping tool he beat the girl with.

"You're gonna need that."

We head home.

I look at her and she looks straight ahead. I wonder if she was conscious when Marcus and I discussed our deal. If she knows how long she's mine for. If she can see that I don't want to hurt her.

*************************************

We drive a few hours to my home city and I want her to look around at the lights but she's fallen asleep fifteen minutes in. When we get to my apartment I tap her to wake her up but she's knocked out. I can't blame her. I pick her up and carry her up the steps to the front door of the building. Frederick, the door man opens the door and fives my guess a puzzled look. I don't even try to explain. I just keep walking to the elevators. We go up to twelfth floor and I get Donny to pull the key out of my pocket so that I don't have to put her down.

When we get in the boys are tired and crash down on the couches on my living room. I carry the girl to my room and lay her down on my bed. She gives a little snore when her back makes contact with the bed. 

"What are you gonna do with her?"

Donny had followed me looking for answers I barely had.

"Take care of her."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

She doesn't wake up the next morning but I do hear groans of pain at around three pm. I go to my room (I had slept in the spare room with a few of the guys. Nothing wierd there). She's in a fetal position rocking slightly. I go to get a first aid kit. I softly turn her over. She hasn't opened her eyes but I know she's awake. I pull out the kit and go to work. Cleaning her open cuts and bandaging the wounds. Applying ointment to the bruised areas. Then I tuck her in and and go back downstairs.

*************************************



My territory stretched over twelve different cities. Each city was divided into four wings like a house. North, South, East, and West. I had a hotel room reserved in each city and occasionally would go to a different city to do business. I was a leading dealer, I sold knock off brand clothes, electronics and weed. I had actually just recently moved into the heavy stuff. They were good business but the one that made the most money was selling firearms. Most of them went to small gangs looking to settle a score or large groups fighting over territory. My territory that I had subdivided into smaller territories for the groups I supplied with product. If they decided they wanted more territory I decided I wouldn't organize them again. If they want to fight over space then whoever wins wins. The only thing was I did occasionally supply one or both sides with firearms. Of course I had the power to stop them whenever. Every now and then I did have to just to make sure no one got over confident and tried to over throw me. Not that anyone knew I was the head of this large opperation. That is except my boys. A group of little over twenty that I trusted enough. They weren't like random street thugs. These guys were professionals at what they did. Ex military and martial artists who studied ninja techniques. Maybe five of them were off the street, amazing fighters with instincts that came through hardship since day one. My boys were my security and as far as I knew they were loyal. I always five in the same area as I was and when going anywhere important all of them. 

They surrounded me now as I scrambled eggs for breakfast arguing over which of them were the better shot. I fixed plates and sat them on the table. They raced in like little boys grabbing at the plates a mumble thank yous around mouthfuls of food. I was jus about to sit down and enjoy own when I heard a thump coming from upstairs. Everyone else heard it too. I simply thought my guest was awake but they all had alert looks on their faces. I got up from the table and started for the upstairs. Two of my guys followed. I opened the door to my bedroom expecting to see her sprawled on the floor. Instead she had tied my sheets together and linked them out the window.

Stupid bitch.....We were on the twelfth floor. I looked out the window to see her inching along a windowsill one floor below us. I looked toward the direction she was inching and saw what she was headed for. An open window on the eleventh floor. I turned to the guys Kamron and Larry. 

"Go get her." I tell them. They race out of the room and down to the eleventh floor. I look back out the window watching her but saying nothing.

Five minutes later they call me. She had been gotten into the room but had taken the elevator to the lobby. They were chasing her out into the street.

I turned to Donny.

"Go get her please."

He nodded then went off to do as I asked. I knew he would bring her. And without making a scene.

*************************************

Thirty or so minutes later Donny drags her into the apartment. Kamron and Larry following. "Nice going guys." I say sarcastically to them.

"The bitch is fast." Larry pants. He's not ex militia. He's ex hood.

"Thank Don." He nods at me and tosses her at my feet.

She falls to her knees.

"Get up." I say

She stands. I grab her by her wrist and pull her to my bedroom.

As soon as I let go to close and lock the door she falls to the floor. Cowering into a corner as she watches me grab the whipping tool.

I know I have to use it on her or she'll think I'm easy and try it again. I step to her, ready to just hit her once.

"Please don't hit me" she whispers in a voice so filled with absolute terror that I knew I couldn't. But I didn't let her know that.

"I'll deal with you later."

Then I turn around and leave the room.

I just go to the bathroom and take a shower trying to scrub off the bad feelings crawling on my skin. My back facing the faucet, I'm rinsing, just about done when I feel hands around my arms. For a second I think it's Donny. He's done this before and I'm just about to chew him out when I turn around and see the girl. He eyes are red from crying. She's naked and shivering even though the water is hot. "What are you doing?!" I ask her actually relieved that I wouldn't have to turn Donny down again.


What You Cost Me Ch. 02



She takes her time kissing the insides of my thighs, running her hands up to my waist. She places soft kisses on my pussy. Then slowly lets her tongue slither from between her lips. The kisses get sloppy and before long she's making out with my pussy like her life depends on it. I feel her tounge dancing around my clit in wild, disorderly strokes. Her lips grasping mine in an embrace so sweet you'd think we were lovers. I slink my fingers into the waves of her hair. Pulling her closer, inviting her to lose herself in my pleasure. The sensation is unbelievable and I curl my toes and flex my leg muscles in an attempt to keep quiet. My orgasm slowly sends me to sleep. Her soft licks to my slit. A tingle across my skin. The last things I remember before I lost consciousness.

***********

I wake up with the sun in my eyes, the curtains drawn back to let in the light of morning. And a girl next to me, her hand down the front of her pants. I don't say anything, do anything but watch pleasure sweep across her face. I hadn't woken up as happy as I am for a while. Who am I to interfere with her orgasm when she's given me one to put me to sleep. Her master. Well, temporary master.

I sat up slowly and watched Tara panick and pull her hands from the blue and green boy shirts I'd let her borrow.

"You're fine."

I mumble to her on my way past her. I exit the room and go to the bathroom to do the morning rituals. 

On my way out I see Donny and the boys already awake and busy. Still in my PJ's I walk to them. 

"Good morning guys."

They all look at me and smile.

"What?"

Donny clears his throat. "Had fun last night?"

Oh shit.

"What do you mean?" I ask but I know exactly what he means. They heard me.

"You know what I mean."

"She's mine, I can do what I want with her."

"That you can."

One of the new boys Robbie smacks around a spoonful of frosted flakes. "You mind if I get a turn tonight or somethin. I was really needing a bitch last night."

I eye him. He's tall, and skinny, with a nose too small for the broad features of his face. I was so close to swelling it with a two piece to his left nostril. Instead I walk toward his spot at my table.

"Her name is Tara."

"I thought she was just a sex slave."

I glare at him, the promise of a ginuine ass whuppin.

"Unless you just want her all to yourself. That's cool. Explains why Donny don't get no action. You shooting in the wrong hoop man." He laughs.

I take a deep breath.

"First of all I'm not gay. Second, you keep talking, Robbie and I'ma staple yo balls to the wall."

He shuts up.

"Y'all hurry this shit up. We got work to do." I spit. Happy morning dead.I'm not gay. We aren't in a relationship. More like friends with benefits.

Back in the room, Tara has changed into my clothes. A pair of dark blue jeans I never wear and a gray shirt.

I dig in my closet for black skinny jeans and a red shirt. Call it a day. I'm slipping on a pair of black and red 23's when someone knocks at the door.

"What."

It's Donny who says "Parker and Devon are here."

Parker and Devon. A couple of cops I paid off to keep an eye on the PD for me. That used to be their only job until the day they came back asking for more. They helped me "recruit" other "trustworthy" cops to roam the streets and keep me informed on what's going on.

I slipped my hair into a ponytail, glossed my lips, and put on my chain. The one with capital letters. RR. Red Rose.

I look like a boss. I had been telling myself that since I was twelve. Now I am the boss.

Parker's sort of the spokes person for the two of them. As soon as I step out of my bedroom I heard his voice. Loud and almost too high for a grown ass man. I didn't tell Tara to stay behind so she follows me into the living room. I shake hands with Parker who wishes me good morning. 

"What's new?" I ask.

"Um...a lot. I think we need to go somewhere private."

Shit that's not good.

I take Donny with me to the balcony with Parker and Devon following. I make Tara stay behind.

"So, I'm riding past Jimpskeep street. You know across from that shopping center with two Dollar stores," Parker starts. 

"And I see this kid walking and he's got the MC on his shoulder. So I ask the kid what's up with that. Of course I'm not in uniform so he tells me he's 'reppin Cale'. Now what to make of that I don't know but it's obvious that Marcus is movin in on yo shit."

The MC of Marcus Cale. On one of my mutha fuckin kids. Gotta stop this shit now. 

"Ok. Donny put it on our list for today. Check Jimpskeep. And straighten this shit out. Anything else?"

"Yeah, few more things. The DV's are getting outta hand again. And there's this new kid. Frances Solomon. He's dealing to the high school kids and he's been pushing down some of your guys. He's got a warehouse on the lot with his shit."

"The lot? That's down by Rayford."

Rayford was on the west side of the city. Jimpskeep was on the east. The DV's right in the middle. If I didn't check this quick I'd have a problem that could get outta hand. 

"Alright." I push off the railing of the balcony and lead the others back into the living room. When I get in I see Robbie facing the wall and over his shoulder I can just make out the top of Tara's head. He's got her pinned. I hear him whisper something to her.

"Robbie!" I call out. "Lemme talk with you a sec. I walk to the back and into the room to the left of my own. He follows. There's a leather bag that I use to give the guys their money. I hold it out to him and he grabs it but I don't let go.

"Leave her alone." My tone serious my face stern. He nods. We walk back to the living room and then I watch Devon grab Tara's hand, a smile on his face while he's talking sweet to her.

"Hey, Robbie will escort you out." I say to the boys. For some reason I put my arm around Tara's waist and drag her body into mine. Possesively. Devon nods before he walks out the door with the bag of money Robbie hands him. As soon as they're gone I turn and tell everyone to lock and load. I want to handle this shit today. Donny asks if Tara's coming to. I tell Larry and Kamron to stay with her and am not surprised when Robbie volunteers. Why I allowed it, I don't know. Everyone's ready to go but before we do I tell Larry to keep an eye on Robbie. 

***********

Three DV's died that week. So did Frances Solomon. New comers are not welcome in my city and neither are rebels. As for the MC thing. I have to watch how I approach that or I might get war. But the worse thing is the DV's on the other side killed one of my boys. And took his shit. He had some important shit on him. And now it's in the hands of one of my enemies. I was mad I lost it, mad I lost one of my boys, mad about that MC shit. I had let my anger sit and rot for a little over a week. Everyone knew. I was a little more than tipsy tonight. Had a few beers. Throwing around threats. It didn't help opening the door to my apartment and seeing Robbie sitting on my fucking couch with Tara's head bobbing in his lap. 

I could've yelled and cursed him out when he jumped up. Hard dick waving hello. Tears running down Tara's cheeks. Instead I checked that the door was shut tight.

"Tara get up. Go to my room." 

"He made me!" She says as she jumps up and, seeing the anger boil over in my eyes, runs up the stairs.

He disobeyed me. If he can't control his urges behind my back what else will he do behind my back. Give away my operations and shit. I don't trust anyone. But if you can't be reliable then you are of no use to me. 

I pull out my glock. Silencer in pkace. 

"I'm sorry Rose. I just wanted my dick sucked."

I'm about to put one through his head when I have a second thought. I fire one at his dick. He screams bloody fucking murder for a good fifteen seconds before I put one in his mouth. 

James and Eric grab at the body. They know what to do.

I head upstairs planning to talk to Tara until I realize the anger isn't gone. His death hasn't made me feel any better. Now I would have to find someone to replace him. I burst through the door.

Her. That fucking girl. Yeah...fucking...girl. Good for eating pussy.

"Come here." She walks to me slowly. Eyeing me with caution. 

"Lay on the bed." I growl. I want to calm myself but I feel the anger boiling. There is no calm. She lays in the middle on her back. I strip out of my pants then climb on the bed so she can watch me lose my panties.

Punish her. Worthless bitch. Just good for eating pussy. I sit on her face. Rubbing my pussy around her lips, her cheeks, her nose, forehead. 

"Eat me bitch!" I yell. Words slurring a little. She opens her mouth and I angle my hips so I can rub my pussy into her tounge. "Come on!" I yell grabbing the sides of her head and pulling her head into me as I push my pussy into her face. She just pushes her tounge out and moves it around fast in no particular shape or pattern. It feels good and I cum with a scream I don't care if anyone hears. But I don't let her up. I roll over to my back, my hands still gasping at her head so I take her with me. Then I press her head hard into my pussy, wrapping my legs around her neck and grinding into her. Pushing her poor nose into my mound. She couldn't breathe and started turning her head to gasp for breath. But I didn't let her. It felt good on my clit when she screamed for air. She flailed trying to push off of me but I wouldn't let her go until I came again. This time harder than before. Again no fucks given about the noise. I do it over and over until I come three more times and hen I'm done I toss the sorry bitch off me. Put my clothes back on and turn on my side to curl under the blanket on my bed. 

"You don't touch anybody but me." I growl before I drift off to the sound of her sniffling.

***********

I open my eyes. Pitch black. No stream of light. No good morning feeling. Shit. Fuck I didn't mean to do that. Fuck. My head thumps a little and I know the beer didn't help but I wasn't that drunk. I won't put this on the beer. That's some coward shit. I'll just apologize. But I don't owe her anything. If anything she owes me. She should be happy to work off a thousand dollars. 

And then I realized if I didn't check myself I'd end up acting like 'them'. Those guys with no morals who find a way to justify their actions when they fuck up. And that was some coward shit too. I don't want to be like them. 

I turn over to see the other side of the bed empty and sit up. The window is blanketed by closed curtains. I go to them. Open them and welcome myself to the dark of midnight. She's probably in the bathroom. 

I open the door to check just in case. Look to the bathroom. See the light on and hear her sniffling. Yeah she's in there. I slide back into my room but...something doesn't feel right. My mind is telling me to check on her. Maybe she's fine and I don't need to. But mama always told me to go with my first instinct.

I tried to open the door. It was locked. I knock. "Hey, Tara...? What's wrong?" Just another sniffle. No answer. "Tara?" Nothing again. "Open the fucking door!!" I yell. She's scaring me. Donny opens his door. 

"What's going on?" He asks just as I ram my shoulder into the door with so much force I put a hole through it.

She's in my tub with a sharpened pencil in her hand. Blood dripping across its end, a gash a across the side of her neck. I scoop her out of the tub, clutch her body to mine and rush out into the hallway past the boys that have collected by the door. 

Donny's already got the keys. I slip on somebody's shoes and rush out of the apartment. Donny follows close behind.

We rush her to the hospital nd wait while they work on her. We sit in the waiting room for hours. The clean hospital smell suffocates me. Reminding me of all the fallen. My fallen soldiers, friends, family. Then the doctor comes to us. 

"Who is the closests to this woman."

Does it matter?

"I'm her sister."

"Okay well, thankfully she didn't cut deep enough to do real damage. We stitched her up but we're going to keep her overnight. Just to keep an eye on her."

"Can we see her?"

The doctor leads us through different halls and shit. Then we get to the room where she's being held.

Her neck is bandaged and she's damn near unconscious.

"Your sister has alot of cuts and bruises. Do you know if she's in some kind of abusive relationship?" 

The damn doctor asking questions.

"She was. When can she leave?" I can't shake this feeling. This feeling of wanting to get her back home. 

"She's had a fair amount of blood lost. We'll keep her for a few more hours before we release her."

"Okay. Who do I talk to about the bill?"

The ride home is torturous. I want to talk to her. Ask her what the fuck is wrong with her. But instead I'm just hoping it's not because of what I did. She doses off. Head tilted towards the scar so I can't see what she's done to herself. Maybe it has to do with Robbie. Maybe she thinks I blame her. Or maybe she blames herself. Maybe she's just sick of her shitty life. But for the past few weeks it had to have been less shitty. I had taken her shopping. Found out her favorite color was light teal. She loved Nike's and skinny jeans. I had taken her out to eat and listened as she told me quietly ,with the soft voice of girl broken, of things she used to do before Marcus Cale. I learned she like to sing, to draw. Used to love to laugh. When we had gotten into the car after eating out I had sang to her the song playing on the radio in my best country accent. And she had laughed. And I had loved it. I had wanted to hear it again so the next day I had taken her to see a movie. Made her laugh at the theatre and spit popcorn all over herself. She was my day and most of my business I took care of at night. 

She had eaten me every night. Softly. Slowly. Thanking me with a passion I could have confused with lust. I had pat her head and stroked her cheek and screamed when she had finished. Had me wondering why Marcus thought I would want to be rid of her. And then I had come in and forced myself on her like what she did was a dirty chore. I had treated her the way they treated her. Like she was worthless. 

She rocked a little now, and then fell over in my lap. Up until this point I had done a good job of not touching her. But now... I put my hand on her back and rubbed slow circles. This was okay.

It was almost 9am when we got back home. The boys were all worried but I ignored them and took her to bed. I tucked her in, crawled in with her and watched her sleep. I would have to give her up or pay her off in a few days. More than likely Marcus won't let me have her. The biggest problem will be dealing with him at all, considering he's put his foot in my territory. How do I straighten that out and get Tara. Get Tara first. Deal with my territory later. But my empire came first. I guest I'd just cross that bridge when I came to it.

She was snoring softly when I woke three hours later but as soon as I moved she woke up. She didn't look at me when I looked at her. She didn't move. 

"Why did you do that." I cut to the chase.

She doesn't answer.

"Tara..."

"I can't do it anymore. My life...I've been through so much. You should've left me alone."

I get up and change out of the PJs I had taken her to the hospital in and walk out. I don't know how I feel about her answer. Was it my fault or not? Her response was so vague. I'm worrying about myself and she's just tried to kill herself. 

The bathroom door is broken. A hole in its center. Ripped off the first hinge. I do my morning rituals and walk into the living room.

"Rose, we got a trip next week. Staying at the Gasrachi." Donny says as soon as I see him.

It's a reminder that we still have a DV problem. The DV's. Devils Vikings. Stupid name for some dumbass clan who keeps trying to move in my territory. They're hard work to keep back. Like ants in the summer.

"Daniel's outside." He reminds me.

"What would I do without you?" I ask before heading outside.

Daniel Ross. A small time guy I sold to. He kept my shit on the streets and was by far my best seller. His only flaw: trust issues. He never brings back-up when he sees me. Likes that I meet him outside where the playing field is "even" he says. But I still carry a gun.

"I'll be ready for that new shipment by tomorrow. Can u have it ready?"

"It's already ready. All you have to do is get it."

"Okay."

"Hey, what do you know about Marcus Cale moving Jimpskeep?"

"I know they say he's better to work for cuz he's got more power and more money than you."

So he's playing that card.

"You gotta get your own stuff." He says.

He was right I had a place to grow my own bud. But I didn't make the other shit I sold.

"Working on it."

Mental note: Need to talk to Carlos Suarez. 

"Yeah. Marcus pushing a lil bit but-" he stops mid sentence, looks up towards the roof of my building and says 

"oh shit."

I turn and look too and see Tara climbing onto the railing on my balcony. She's about to jump. I run so fast into my building. Forget the elevator and run so fast up to my floor that my fucking ankles burn. I burst through the door to my apartment and to the balcony. Some of the guys are talking to her. Trying to reason with her and coax her down. Fuck that. I grab her around the waist and literally throw her crazy ass into the living room. 

"Everybody out!!" I yell.

They scurry upstairs or in the back rooms. 

I look at Tara as she pulls my gun from behind her back. She had swiped it from me and now she was holding it under her chin.

I lunged at her, grabbing the gun just as she cocked it. I turned it out and a searing pain exploded across my right shoulder as she pulled the trigger. I still snatched the gun from her and threw it to the other side of the room. Both of us pant heavily. I'm angry and she's crying.

"What the fuck?!"

"I told you I can't do it. I can't."

"Yes you can."

"You don't even fucking know me. You don't care about me."

"If I didn't care I wouldn't feed you, clothe you, talk to you."

"Marcus does all that shit. And then he locks me in an animal pen. He doesn't care about me. I'm just his fuck toy! I'm everybody's fuck toy! All my fucking life!"

"What are you talking about?" My voice has gone soft. She's scaring me.

"When I was eight it was my dad. Then my uncle and my aunt. My friends dad. My first boss. All my life people have been touching me and wanting me to touch them. And then when I was old enough fucking me and wanting me to fuck back. I'm nothing but some kind of plaything. I don't matter to anybody."

I knelt down. Close to her.

"Hey, hey, You matter to me." I whisper. The words were true. She did matter to me. I didn't want her to die. I didn't want anything to happen to her.

"Of course I matter to you. I matter a thousand fucking dollars to you."

I grab her by her shoulders, placing my hands over faded bruises.

"I mean it. I care about you. I'm so sorry for what I did last night. But I would never want to hurt you. I don't want anything to happen to you. You've become the fucking highlight of my life." I whisper passionately remembering the past three weeks with her. 

And then I did it. Broke down a barrier. Past a boundary. Crossed a line when I kissed her.

At first it was just the union of our lips. I broke apart to see her reaction. Her eyes were still closed so I went in again, unable to stop myself from indulging in the softness of her lips. The kiss progressed. She pressed towards me, I slipped my tongue past her lips, tasting her. She pushed on my tounge with hers and before I knew it I was reaching around to grasp at her waist. 

And then I felt the pain in my shoulder. 

I broke the kiss with a grimace as my shoulder reminded me of its presence. 




What You Cost Me Ch. 02



"That was my first kiss." She whispers to me as I got my gun from the other side of the room. 

"What?"

"Plenty of people have kissed me but I never kissed them back. You were the first one." She looks shyly at the ground.

I can't help the smile that creeps across my face.

But my shoulder...

"Donny!" I call out and he comes downstairs.

"My shoulder."

He sees the blood and immediately takes me upstairs with a first aid kit. He pulls the bullet from my arm and dresses the wound. Then before he leaves he says in a soft voice

"I used to be the highlight of your life."

***********

She had cuddled into me that night. And it was then I decided that it was more important that I get her from Marcus than it was that I deal with him as a problem. It was the first time I had put anything before my empire but I knew it would be worth it. I scheduled an appointment with him for the next day. 

I was cautious when I woke her. Gentle. She took it upon herself to join me when I showered but I didn't let anything happen. 

Today was a serious day. A day when Marcus would be my ally and my enemy at the same time. How do I deal with that really. If I let it slide too long it will fester into a situation I can't control. It's on my mind all day.

I brush her hair down her back. Over faded scars and the golden patches of old bruises. Around her suicide attempt. 

We dress alike. I have no shortage of black skinny jeans, red shirts and black leather jackets. Hoop earings and for me, my double R chain. I wear my 23's. She wears my red and black Nike flights.

My Cadillac has been cleaned, shining the way my baby should and I let her in first. The boys jump in the trucks. Locked and loaded. Everyday we are all ready to die. Ready to lose everything we've built in one bad move. Especially Donny, who piles into the car with us. Then gives the command.

"Let's go Rick."

We drive up to his house. The door is opened by his butler and we enter almost twenty deep. But for some reason I feel I should have come more prepared. 

Marcus makes his grand entrance sporting a black blazer and a deep orange button down. His hair is slicked back, goatee replaced by a thin strip of hair above his lips. He smiles broadly and welcomes us into his room of business. Sitting at his desk he pulls out a paper and a pen. I haven't even spoken yet when he says "I knew you'd bring her back before the month was up. But honestly, I didn't think you'd last as long as you did."

"I'm not here to bring her back." I say as clearly as I can.

Marcus looks up at me with questioning eyes. Then he looks at Tara. Eyes her and I know what he sees. New clothes, jewelry, her hairs done up, courtesy of yours truly. And her posture, barely that of a submissive slave.

"Ahahahaha." His laugh is hoarse, raspy in the worst way. Makes me wanna clear my throat.

"Standing next to you now she almost looks like your equal."

I don't comment.

"She's a slave. Bought and paid for."

"Kidnapped." I spit.

"Oh I do hope that's not what she's told you. This whore was sold to me by her own mother. Weren't you?" He ask her.

I refrain from knocking the taste out of his mouth and settle for a dity look. But he's looking at her, awaiting a response.

She doesn't answer. I can see him getting impatient so I step in before things get out of hand.

"I have the two thousand for her."

"You can give me one thousand for another month and then I want her back."

"That wasn't the deal."

"Fuck the deal she's mine and I can do what I want with her." 

And he was right. She wasn't mine she was his.

Play your cards right.

"I'll pay you for the next three months."

"Two. And be happy I'm givin you that. I should just take her now or I'll have to break her all over again." 

I tell Eric to go get it from the truck. When he brings it back I tell him and Larry to take her back to the car. As they walk out Marcus says "Don't get to comfortable sweetheart."

Then I tell everyone to leave the two of us alone. Everyone leaves except Donny. 

"I thought you would allow me to pay for her."

"I gave her mother twenty five thousand for her."

"Will you give her to me if I agree to pay you that?"

"No. I want something of much more value."

"What?"

"I want the Jimpskeep area. I know you've been down there. Seen my work and know I'm interested. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about it. Unless you're trying to keep peace for Annie. I'm telling you she's gonna stab you in the back. Somehow."

"I don't just give people territory."

"And I've never given anyone my girls. But I made sort of an exception for you. An eye for and eye."

"I can share it with you but I cannot give it to you."

He's smooth, smart, and knows what the fuck he's doing. I feel I'm being backed into a corner.

"If you want her then you'll give me Jimpskeep."

"Name a different price. Something reasonable."

"Fine. I want the entire eastern wing of this city. And you'll give it to me. Or I'll take her back and kill her."

"I've already paid for her for two months!"

"What is your money to me?!"

"I'll give you 25k for her and the north side of Jimpskeep."

"This isn't negotiable! If she's so important to you give me the eastern wing!" He yells and even though I wanted nothing more than to kill him I knew I wasn't going to win this today. Not while she was outside in the car. Not while I was unprepared.

"Let me keep her for the two months and if I still want her I'll think about Jimpskeep."

Marcus calms his face and sits back in his chair.

"Deal."

I reached out my hand for him to shake.

"Deal."

We both give a firm squeeze.

"Pleasure doing business with you Mr.Cale. Until next time."

I stand and walk to the door with Donny behind me.

"A good businessman is prepared to make on spot decisions. And the really good ones don't ask for time to contemplate their next move."

"I'll keep that in mind Mr. Cale."

"Be sure that you do."

I ignore his threat and head to the Cadillac. The both of us climb in. I'm next to Tara.

"Are you okay?" She asks shyly.

"I'm fine."

***********

We get to the apartment late and everyone's tired. Including myself. I don't even change out of my clothes before I flop into my bed. I hear Tara taking off her clothes for bed. I turn my head and for the first time I actually watch her undress. She takes her time too, shimying out of those tight ass skinny jeans and slowly letting into view those long legs. Then she slips her shirt off and the tank she wore underneath. All there was now was the bra and panties. I could tell her to take them off and she'd do it. Her body had filled in all the spaces beneath her skin from starving. Her skin was soft now from the oil I'd bought for her. The creamy tan color of it made her eyes look like bursts of starlight. As if she heard my thoughts she looks up at me. A shy smile disappears behind a waterfall of her hair as she turns away from me. She's beautiful. Anyone can see that. But the way I thought about her sometimes...

My mother had always told me "Lemme find out you gay and Imma beat yo ass." She had given me plenty of 'just in case' ass whuppings. My mother was dead now but I still couldn't bring myself to admit that I was even remotely attracted to another woman. And here was Tara, body bare for my eyes to feast. And I had to turn away. She climbed in the bed next to me, only wearing a T-shirt and snuggles into me. I push her away.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought.."

"Thought what? Don't get your shit fucked up we're not in some kind of relationship."

I had to straighten this out.

"But yesterday.."

"Yesterday I didn't want you to kill yourself. You're fine now."

I turn around so that my back is facing her. 

"Goodnight." I say, knowing full well in the back of my mind how much I want to hold her.

The next morning I hear the sound of everyone chatting downstairs. I walk down there to see what's going on. Tara's in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"Hey guys."

"Morning Rose." Goes around the table.

Then Tara says "Morning Rose." Before giving me a quick kiss square on the lips in front of everyone. I expect them to ignore it but everything gets quiet and everyone stops and stares. Then Donny says "Did your mother really sell you?" Talking to Tara. I shoot him a look but I'm curious of the answer myself.

"Yeah." She whispers. I go to her. She's tearing up and I want to hold her so bad. But I can't. 

"Guys we've got bigger things to worry about. Like the fact that Marcus wants the eastern wing."

Everyone goes "what" in disbelief.

"Yeah that's what it's gonna take for him to give me her." I nod towards my gir- towards Tara.

"Are you gonna give it to him?" Kamron asks.

"No." I say. 

And then Tara says "You don't think I'm worth it?"

Shit, now she probably thinks I don't want her.

"That's not it at all."

I turn back to the guys.

"We have two options. Option one: we move everything out of the eastern wing within the next two months."

Donny huffs "That'll take longer than two months. We'll have to find a place to put our supply. And what about the guys that are working for us. They can't just switch out like that."

"I know." I say. "Our options are so limited. We can't just flush him out or he'll come back stronger and take her back."

One of the guys, Mike, clears his throat "So, what's option two."

I look at Tara and I swear she's giving me Bambi eyes like she's scared I'm gonna give her up.

"We kill Marcus Cale."

To be continued...



What You Cost Me Ch. 03



I let her sleep in my bed. I drag a blanket downstairs and set myself up on the couch with a movie playing on TV. I can't sleep in the same bed with her right now. Tara, with her long hair, long legs, eyes to die for. I often found myself staring at her full lips, wishing I could have another taste. She's quiet, soft, but like me she's cautious, and brave. She's full of an innocence that makes me want to hold her. Yet equally full of a strength that makes me sit back and admire her.

Every time I look at her I find myself repeating the same words over and over.

"I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay." 

I like men. Tall men with long six pack covered torsos, and sexy tattoos. Like Donny.

Not nineteen year old girls with cute smiles, and soft hands. Like Tara.

I stare at the TV but I'm lost in thought.

It had only been three days since I had negotiated two more months of Tara with Marcus Cale. In three days she had managed to make me want more of her. She had done nothing. No sex. And I had not asked anything of her. 

We had gone shopping again two days ago. She had, in a large changing room, asked me to tell her how she looked in a pair of jeans. When I told her I didn't like them she had turned around, bent at her waist and slid the pants down her legs. I couldn't stop staring at her body. The smoothness of her skin inviting me to touch her.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Hey, you okay?" Donny sits next to me on the couch. I make room for him to lie next to me and cuddle into him when he does.

"I'm fine."

But he knows otherwise.

"It's about that girl."

It's not a question.

"What are you even doing with her?" He asks.

"I don't know. I don't want her with them. They'll hurt her."

"Well, he's got hella other slaves. You can't save everybody. You know that."

"But I have the opportunity to save somebody."

"Is that what you think is going on here? You're saving her?"

"I guess. You don't think so?"

"Marcus said she'll stab you in the back."

"Marcus could be wrong."

He gives me a look out the corner of his eye.

"Do you still feel bad for Trina?"

Trina was a brilliant girl we went to middle school with. She ditched freshman year and we caught her working the streets. I had wanted to save her then. But since those days I have seen things much worse. I had given up on saving everybody else. At least I thought I had.

"No. I feel bad for Tara."

"So it's out of pity?"

"Maybe I just care about her."

"Or..."

"No or. I like her."

"You still don't know her."

"She was here for a month."

"You spent more than half of that on work. You didn't start talking to her till the third week."

"Well this month I'll work on it."

We watch a little more of the movie. Then he says,

"Why am not enough for you?"

I can't believe he's just asked me that.

"You're like my blood. My brother."

"I don't wanna be your brother. You know that. Why don't you want me?"

"Because I think if you as a brother."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Is it because you...like...girls?"

"No. I don't."

"Oh. Okay."

In my mind someone says...maybe.

**************************************

My body snaps awake. I turn my head and see Tara turn and walk into the kitchen. Had she been watching me? Donny moves his leg from under mine. Had she been watching us? Doesn't matter.

I slide off the couch and stretch, then tap Donny. 

"What're we doing today?"

He rolls over with a yawn.

"Marcus and DV's." He mumbles.

Marcus Cale.

I still don't know how I'm gonna kill him.

Tara sits at the table in the kitchen, a glass of water tipping in her hands. 

"You okay?" I ask. Looking directly into her eyes.

"Just bored."

"Wadda you wanna do?"

She shrugs.

"Wanna go shopping again?"

She nods.

I love shopping. Not enough that I'm a hoarder but I go every chance I get. Elmani Equay is a rather fancy place to shop. I rent out a dressing room bigger than my living room tell and Tara to knock herself out. I've already tried on all of my clothes and decided what I wanted by the time Tara comes in carrying two arm loads of clothes. She slaps them down on the bench next to me which over looks a giant mirror and miniature dressing room within the dressing room.

"The fuck is all this?" I ask. Irritated for some odd reason.

The glow in her face fades and the look of a submissive takes its place. Her head bows and her eyes swell with anticipation. 

"I just mean...never mind. It's fine. Wadda ya got?"

She grabs clothes and starts to strip in front of me.

"Why don't you take em to the mini room." I tell her. I can't watch her. I don't know what I'll do.

She comes out a while later in a green shirt with these weird colored green pants. 

She looks at me questioningly. She's adorable.

"Hate the pants. That shirt would look good on you in yellow."

"I hate yellow." She mumbles as she goes back into the mini room. I noticed lately how she'd been acting like her old self. Quiet and subdued.

"What's wrong with yellow?"

I hear her take a deep breath and then she says "The day my mother sold me I was wearing yellow and after I'd been..." Her breaths get heavy and I can hear her crying, voice quivering. "...after I'd been used and tossed aside, I looked at my reflection. I was bruised and bloody and that ugly yellow hoodie was hanging off my shoulders. That was the worst day of my entire life. Yellow always reminds me of all that pain and confusion that I felt."

I open the mini room door and I can't help it anymore. I take her into my arms. She bawls like a baby and turns into my embrace.

"She hated me. I thought she loved me but she hated me so much she sold me into this. I begged her and she said I should be happy to have the chance to help the rest of the family. Twenty-five thousand dollars. That's all I was worth to her." She's breaking down and I'm struggling not to cry with her. How could a mother do that to her child?

After a while the tears subside and I convince her to try on more clothes and tell me what she wants so we can get out of there.

She picks a few cute outfits and then we leave.

I took her to Moulvoy's. A restaurant owned by one of my old friends. I had helped him buy the place and furnish it and get on his feet. It was beautifully decorated in browns and blue-grays, dim lighting and sheek curtains draped across long windows. Classy.

We were seated in a corner in the back, next to a fireplace, secluded from the other customers. But it was comfortable and warm. 

We must look so strange, both of us in t-shirts and jeans. But I like the food here and the calming music of the live jazz band.

She sits across from me and looks around nervously.

"You okay?"

She nods but I know she's not.

Our waiter comes and asks to take our orders.

"Can you bring us a bottle of red wine." They nod and walk off to retrieve it.

"What's wrong?" I ask her. Wanting a real answer.

"and don't tell me nothing or you're fine."

Well she is fine but...no no. Stay focused.

"Why are we here?" She asks.

"To get something to eat." I state like it's obvious but I get the feeling she means something else.

"You said there was nothing going on like...like...we're not in a relationship or whatever."

"Uh huh."

"This feels like a date." She looks past me not at me. Once again like her old self who was afraid to look people in the eye. Had my rejecting her cuddle the other night made her go back to that.

"It's not a date. We're just having dinner."

It felt like a date to me too. But I wanted to be around her. I wanted to get to know her.

"So,..." Out on a fancy dinner and all I can find to say is 'so'

She looks away again.

"Why do you keep looking away?"

She shrugs.

"You okay?"

She just nods.

"Look its not a date. I just wanna talk to you."

The waiter pours our glasses of wine.

I take a comfort sip. 

"So,..."

This is getting awkward.

"Why do you live in an apartment if you have so much money?"

"Because it's easier to manage than a house. I actually have an apartment in twelve different cities. It's easier than having a house. Or houses."

"Oh." Is all she says.

"May I take your order?"asks our waiter.

"Umm..." she looks a little longer at her menu. "...The scalloped potatoes and steak."

"You like steak?" Duh she ordered it.

"Yeah. My dad used to make it all the time. He made it the best. After he died I compared everyone's steak to his. No one has ever topped him."

The waiter and I share a look.

"And for you ma'am?"

"I'll have the seafood special. And tell the chef I want extra sauce."

"Yes ma'am."

And the boy hurries off.

"He's doing a good job so far." I comment. 

"Reminds me a little of myself when I had my first job." Tara says.

"How so?"

"Because he cares what people think right now. He's eager to please"

"Well it's his job. If he wants to keep it he better be."

"You don't have to be."

"How long did you last at Burger King?" I ask jokingly.

"Umm actually it was McDonalds. And three and a half weeks."

I can't help the little chuckle.

"That's it?! Three and a half weeks. Wow. I had my first job for almost a year before I quit."

She smiles a little then asks, "Why'd you quit?"

"I found something better." I say honestly. Dealing made me twice the money I made in two weeks in two days. 

Somehow without me even saying it she knows what I meant.

"How old were you when you started?"

"Seventeen."

"Wow. Did you like it?"

"I love it." 

"Did you ever get caught?"

"Hell yeah. Until I got good."

"And it never bothered you morally?"

"No." I say, but it's a lie. And the look she gives me tells me she sees right through it. But she doesn't press.

Our waiter returns with two large plates of food. He drops her potatoes and steak in front of her and my seafood special in front of me. Then he asks if we'll need anything else. I tell him we don't and he heads off.

Once when I was in high school this modeling company had rented out a section of the beach for a photo shoot. There was a guy that had been my age, posing in swimming trunks, shin deep in the ocean. He was tall, built perfectly with soft muscles in all the right places. His eyes were hazel, the color of them making the smooth brown of his skin look majestic. He had a strong jaw that surrounded full lips, and a perfect nose to top him off. It had been early in the morning and I stood right next to their crew that day. I watched him strike pose after pose of pure godliness. No doubt I thought he was the sexiest thing in the world.

But I was wrong.

Tara digging into an uncut steak is the sexiest thing in the world.

She was tugging at it, holding it with both hands, and her eyes, those sexy explosions of green, blue, grey and hazel squinted in pure bliss as the taste overwhelmed her senses. I was lost. My own food was getting cold but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She pulled away to chew, juice dripping down her chin and drops of steak sauce rolling over her wrists. I wanted to kiss away the juice on her face. Lick her lips.

She went in for another bite. I locked my sights on her lips, stretching up and over perfect teeth to cut into the steak. I watched them sink in, imagining what they would feel like sinking into the flesh of my shoulder as I made her cum like a train wreck. I let my eyes travel up to hers to find that she's already staring back at me. We are stuck in that moment. Because I can't look away. And she doesn't.

"You gonna eat?" She asks around a mouthful of food.

"Yeah." I hear myself mumbling. But I still don't look away.

She smiles and let's out a small giggle.

"What?" I ask her, curious.

"You just keep staring at me."

I blink to clear the images in my head. 

I look away. Down at my food with the lobster stretched across my plate, floating in a crab stew. The sauce of choice.

The fork next to me goes to work as I dig in.

It's so good I barely suppress a moan. My eyes flutter closed and I chew almost in slow motion.

When I do finally open my eyes its to see Tara staring at me. Her eyes effecting her expression in a way I can't quite decipher. This time I laugh. She returns it with a small smile.

"What?"

"You keep staring at me." I say, repeating her words.

Her smile grows.

"Is the lobster good?"

In answer I scoop up a bite with my fork. Then before I give a second thought, I lean across the table to slip my fork between her lips. She chews it slowly, staring into my eyes the entire time. A deep breath reverberates through her chest as she swallows. 

"You like it?" I ask, knowing the answer.

She just nods.

We talk more about her likes and things that make her happy and things that don't. She likes hanging out with me. That makes her happy. I smile at that. I make her happy. 

I ask her more about her childhood.

"My mother used to buy us kites. I hated them so I'd get em stuck in trees and stuff. But she kept thinking they were accidents so she kept buying new ones." She laughs at that. 

"Us?" I ask, reffering to her earlier use of the word.

"Yeah. I had a brother."

The look in her eyes says don't ask further questions.

"Me too." I tell her, not really wanting to talk about mine either.

"Older or younger?"

"Older." I say.

"Mine was younger." Again her eyes get sad. 

I need to change the subject.

"What do you want for dessert?" I see both of us are nearly done our food.

"You." 

She mumbles it. She's not looking at me so maybe I wasn't supposed to hear it. But I do. And it makes my blood run hot. My heart beats faster and my breathing is labored. Eyeing her body, her lips, this goddess. God, I want her too. 

But I settle for mumbling back in just as low of a tone.

"That's not on the menu."

Her head snaps up like she's surprised I heard her and her cheeks go red with the cutest blush.

"There's alot of pies and cakes. Different kinds of ice cream. What do you want?"

She looks at the dessert menu.

"I want to go home." She says.

She doesn't want dessert from a place that just gave her the best steak ever.

I stare at her a while then just say 'okay' and ask for the check.

When we get in the car the sun has already set and the darkness reminds me of shit I don't want to think of when I'm with Tara. How many things gone wrong in the dark. How many people go missing, show up again, dead.

Not with Tara. But I've already started to think about it. Usually in the dark I have Donny or somebody. A guard. I'd be able to see past those painful memories. But sitting next to someone twice as vulnerable as I am doesn't help at all. 

We sit in the car a while. I jus let it run while I get myself together. Tara didn't say anything. Is she mad about the dessert thing.

I put the car in drive and pull out of the restaurant parking lot.

Her silence is killing me.

"Did you like dinner?"

"Yes."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"What's wrong?" I ask, half expecting her to answer 'yes'.

"Nothing."

Again, silence.

I turn on the radio to fill the car with noise.

Paramore blasts across my speakers.

Ain't it fun...living...in the...real world...

I find myself singing along and elbowing Tara to join in.

The first few time she just looks at me from the corner of her eye. But then I sing louder and she smiles that smile. 

And she sings.

Her voice is softer than mine.

Prettier, smoother.

I try to focus on the road and not the girl next to me but she is distracting.

I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay...

**************************************

When we get home the whole crew is in the living room looking some kind of way. 

"What's going on?" I ask.

Donny pushes through them.

"Why the hell didn't you answer your phone?!"

"Calm the fuck down!" I yelled. I'm captain of this fucking ship. I pulled my phone from my pocket. It's dead.

"My phone's dead. I didn't get any calls."

"Well you had us worried shitless. Mavlo just killed half of the north wing boys in a shoot out. Didn't know where you were. You said you'd be back by five."

"My plans changed. I'm good."

Mavlo. A DV leader. Killing my boys. 

I turned to Larry.

"Gather up a team. We know where he is. Take him out."

He stands and says "Yes ma'am. One problem. Robbie. Means we're one short."

"Then replace him."

"And bring him here?"

"Yeah." I say. "But if he isn't decent I'll kill him too."

Larry nods then heads out and I send Mike with him. I never send one goon at a time. He might start to think about his own power and leave the group. More than one makes them keep an eye on each other and reminds them that they are part of a team.

Tara follows me upstairs and into my bedroom. She still looks sullen and ays nothing when I ask her about it. I gather my clothes and head to the bathroom to shower. I've just finished rinsing shampoo from my hair, my head thrown back, water running over my curls, eyes closed. When I feel a body, her body, press into the front of mine. Her naked ass resting against my mound. 

I have died. I must be dead.

I turn my body sideways to rest against the shower wall.

She follows me, keeping our skin touching.

"What are you doing?" I mumble trying to keep my hands to my side.

"Come on Rose. Please. We haven't touched each other for weeks. I want you. Please."

She throws her head back, her cheek resting against my neck.

"I don't remember touching you." I mumble, struggling.

I'm not gay.

"I remember you kissing me." Her voice is so sexy. "And I remember kissing you back."

I'm not gay.

She pulls my hands around her. Cups them and softly places them over the smooth skin of her breasts.

I'm hyperventilating, my eyes close and I give her globes a gentle squeeze.

She sighs. And I turn to kiss her neck, her throat. She looks up at me, something in her eyes tell me to kiss her. So I do. I press my lips to hers. Soft and slow at first. Then I can't take anymore and slip my tongue into her mouth. The water of the shower pours over our bodies as I claim her lips, my palms massaging her tits.

But...I'm not gay.

I push her off. Take a step back. Grab my towel to wrap around my overheated body and walk out of the bathroom and into my room.

She doesn't come in until I'm already dressed and slipping into bed. She walks in naked.

I'm not gay. I'm not gay.

She slips on one of my sports bras and a pair of my boy shorts. No panties. Then she slides in next to me.

At first she keeps her distance but after a few minutes she cuddles into my side.

"Can I touch you?" She asks.

"No, Tara."

"Please. I don't want you to touch me back but...I'm kinda going through withdrawals." 

I almost laugh.

"What do you wanna do?" I ask in a shy whisper.

In answer she slides down my body and reaches her hand into my pants. I shiver as it reaches the waistband of my panties and pulls.

She slides them down my thighs, my calves, until they rest on my ankles.

Then she crawls between my legs.

She doesn't start immediately. She waits a while until I squirm a little.

Then she breaths over my clit. By this time I must be dripping. Finally I feel the tip of her tongue, warm and soft right at my opening, piercing through my golden gate. 

I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding and it comes out as a moan. She stays soft as she penetrates me so slowly as to be painful. By the time I'm grasping at the sheets and trying not to ruin the moment with rushed reactions, she's only got the tip of her tongue in. Finally I can't take anymore and I flex my hips toward he face. Somehow that sets her off because as soon as I make the movement she pushes her face into my overheating pussy. Her tongue slides all the way through and her upper lip grazes the soft flesh just beneath my clit. I stiffle another moan and settle for clenching my muscles and yanking on the bed sheets. She flexes her tongue inside of me, swelling it then moving in circles. Her lips suck on my slit as she bobs her head. My hands release the sheets to grasp at her long curls instead.




What You Cost Me Ch. 03



The feeling is extraordinary.

I give up trying to be quiet and breath out a groan. I'm just about to cum when she pulls her tongue out and reaches up to grab my clit with her soft lips. I lift the blanket to look down at her. This sexy being with her face smashed between my legs, pressed hard against my pussy. She is fucking amazing.

When it's over I feel guilty. I want to return the favor, to claim her. I want to hold her after and confess how I feel. I want to do it now, flip her over and taste her body. To give her pleasure she rewards me with. To show her I want her. Almost desperately.

But I'm not gay.

**************************************

The next morning there's a new guy on my couch. Larry says to call him Wallace. Wallace Jones. I introduce myself with a shake and a stern look. Set the tone immediately by telling him his job as a second hand. He gives me an odd look but nods. He's young. Twenty at the most, a thin trail of beard tracing the soft features of a boy becoming a man.

We all get locked and loaded and ready to head out. The plan is to take Tara to Yazz's house. An old friend of mine. I don't want her at the apartment when we all leave. 

We plan to pop off today so I tell Larry that he and Wallace can stay with Yazz to keep an eye on Tara. Tara is irritated because she doesn't think she should have anyone watching her. I don't care what she thinks. I want her safe and I figured it would be a nice way for Wallace to earn his keep. 

We drop her off then head out to meet with Mavlo.

I get Rick to park behind the wall of Mavlo's warehouse. The other boys park out front where they can draw Mavlo's attention. We walk silently from behind the warehouse and into the light of morning.

I speak first.

"Mavlo. You done got yourself in some trouble boy. Five of my boys six feet deep 'cause of you."

Mavlo is an ugly son of a bitch. His upper lip sticks out well past his bottom. His eyes buldge and his nose is too pointed, too long for the rest of his features which fills up the entirety of his face leaving little space for a forehead. His hairline however receeds so much that it gives the illusion that his forehead is actually huge.

Then the ugly mutha fucka smiles.

"I did what I had to do Rose. You know how that is right.?"

I turn to Donny and whisper to him to send some of the boys to check for snipers. A few immediately run off.

"Yeah I know how it is." 

Mavlo has nothing I need to negotiate for.

I pull out my ruger and fire two shots into his head.

Hell breaks lose.

His boys from the sides of the warehouse pop off splitting some of my boys in half. I fire again and again at them until I run out of ammo. Then we all duck down as Donny and the others I trust to finish battles stand and attach whiplash. 

It's a gun I had specially made, a type of machine gun that lights up the entire lot killing anyone unfortunate enough to be in the way.

Some of Mavlo's guys try to run but we leave no survivors or they could comeback with a vengeance.

I send Mike and his team into the warehouse to clean out anyone who may be left over. Guns go off as they ensure it's spotless. A few shots can be heard from a few roof tops too as my boys take out a few snipers.

I walk in the warehouse, ruger reloaded stepping over five or six of my fallen. I don't turn around to see the other bodies littering the lot but I see them anyway from the corner if my eye. Our casualties are almost never this high.

The warehouse is stacked with small plants growing in the cold with UV lamps. Ours now. A whole fucking farm of marijuana.

I walk slowly through the rows of them. Many with different labels and explanations on how to treat them. Again, ours now.

I finally have my own supply. First chance I get I'm putting it on a boat. 

"Well well." I say. Mike whistles.

"Gonna make a deal with Suarez?" Donny asks. It would mean giving him money but he'd get someone to keep an eye on my plants.

"Maybe."

I walk back out of the warehouse stepping over Mavlo's body.

And almost tripping over one of his fallen. I look at him. He had to have been a boy. His eyes still look half opened and if I studied him hard enough he appeared to be squinting. I decide to pull out my ruger just in case and as I'm reaching for it, the half dead kid pulls a gun, points it at me and fires. 

The ground comes closer and closer until I'm kissing the mud. I can't move, then I can't feel, then I can't see or hear. Then I must be asleep or dead.

**************************************

I don't want to open my eyes. But I pull my lids apart anyway. I'm in one of our hotel rooms. I know from the pattern etched into the ceiling. I hear voices, not clearly but I can make out Donny and Dr.Moggie. a doctor I hired to take care of this dirty business so that we don't have to go through the hospital bullshit and the cops asking questions we won't answer.

I try to sit up and immediately feel a hand in my shoulder to stop me.

"She's awake." Camron says.

The talking stops and footstep come closer and closer to the bed I'm laying on.

"You guys killed him right?" I say, surprised to find my voice thick and scratchy. Donny nods.

"How long?" I ask.

Donny says it's only been a day. I turn my head a little to see Tara sitting in the love seat. She looks like she's been crying and Wallace sits next to her. His arm around her shoulder. I want to say something about it. But for some reason I'm too dizzy for the kind of energy it would take to chew him out for touching her. I turn my head back to the ceiling and wait until my vision comes back and the ceiling stops moving to think.

"How many did we lose?"

"None of the Captains are hurt but you." Donny says. The doctor excuses himself and leaves.

"The teams?"

"My whole team is dead." Camron says.

"I only have Wallace left." Larry mumbles, looking out the window.

"Mike has half his team. Rogers team is fine and so is mine." Donny says.

"That's not good enough!" I yell.

"We're supposed to be cutting Marcus down in a week! How the fuck are we supposed to do that with only half my fucking backup?!" No one has an answer but me. We can't storm them now, we can only be precise and perfectly planned.

I look over at Tara again. Why am I doing this for her?

"We'll figure this out." Donny mumbles to me.

I'm about to run off a plan of attack and requirements now that we're only half of what we were but something stops me. A tick nose. The click of the door opening so shy it can't be anyone that's supposed to be here.

And then guns go off. The couch cushions fly, their stuffing blowing around the room in fluffy tornadoes. I roll to my side and land on my shoulder. The pan is excruciating. I yell in pain and Donny is there. Shielding my body with his.

"No." I try to shout through his coat. "Get her! Tara!" I didn't want to think about her being hurt. The rest of my body is damn near numb from a day without use and excessive blood lost. I try to move but I can barely feel my legs. The gun shots ring through the air like a wild calling to war. I hear my boys go down. Hear them hit the floor with cries of pain. The fire dies down to two shots. One shot. None. It ceases and then they're gone.

Donny pushes off me and helps me to my feet. I can barely stand and the view around me doesn't help. Mike is dead, blood pours from the back of his head like kool aid from a pitcher. Shit! Larry rolls over clutching his side, and Cameron and Roger spring up, barely harmed. Wallace is hit in the leg and hand and the rest of my boys slowly but surely rise. Mike is the only casualty. Fuck! I limp to him and pull off my shirt to drape over his head.

Ryan coughs a little. "You think Marcus did this?"

I look around.

Larry spits. "He must've known we were weak."

"I know he did it." I spit. Anger boiling my blood.

"How?" Donny gives me a look.

"Tara's gone."

"Shit. What do we do?" Cameron looks from me to Mike.

"We do this tomorrow." I have no Idea what they could be doing to her.

"Tomorrow!?" The all shout in unison.

"A lot of us are still injured. Especially you. The bullet was way to close to your heart and-" I cut Donny off.

"They won't be expecting us. But we have to plan perfectly now. Because we're so short." They don't even question again. They are sure of me and our trust is what has kept us alive as a team. I look at Mike's body. Mostly alive. Besides, we had dealt with tyrants before.

Two of the guys lifted Mikes body and started to carry him out.

I looked to Wallace. "I tried." He says as tears glide down his face. "I really did." 

"I believe you." I tell him and we all walk out. Hotel security greets us on the way out but we brush past them. I give them my information to pay for damages.

We all head back to the apartment to plan but one of the boys goes up to check first. He comes back to report its been ransacked.

We decide to hit up a different hotel for the night and plan.

When it's done I tell the boys to get some rest. 

"We're getting my girl back tomorrow."



What You Cost Me



She just drops to her knees in front of me. Looks at me then at my mound. Before I can even react she's got her head between my thighs and her tongue between my lips. And it feels so good. 

But no. I try to push her head away and tell her to stop and she doesn't have to. But she just grips the backs of my thighs tighter and licks heavily up and don't my slit before taking my clit into her mouth. And then I can't help myself. I lay myself down in the tub and she follows me down sucking hard and licking the tip of my bud. I'm grabbing at her head now, pulling her into me. She moves her head slowly side to side. I look down at her. She looks up at me, sucking and licking in quick hard strokes. I grip her head good and slide my pussy up and down her face as I come for the first time in months. Biting my tongue to keep myself from screaming. Can't do oral worth shit my ass.

She keeps kissing it afterwards and I push her away. She backs up and sits in front of me then whispers "Please don't beat me." How could I after that. Looking at her I remember she's still dirty from yesterday having only been hosed down after her beating. Her skin is still cut and bruised her bandages now wet and sliding from her body.

The washcloth beside me is mine but I put soap on it and use it to wash her. Starting from her neck, around to her shoulders, her breasts, full and firm. Her toned stomach, her hips. I wash her, careful to be soft around her injuries, and still she shivers and flinches. Finally I get to her back and my heart almost breaks at the sight that greets me. Angry scars criss crossing in thick ridges across the tan of her skin.

I dry her with my towel again taking care to mind her lacerations and the dark rainbows adorning her body. Then I brush her curly hair softly until it cascades down far enough to hide those scars on her back. I don't understand why they'd beat her like that. Wouldn't they want her to look flawless for her 'customers'. As if reading my mind she says,

"I don't go to Marcus's whore houses. I stay at the compound. I'm not for everyone else. Just Marcus and his men."

I don't know why but that makes me even angrier than knowing she services random men. I say nothing.

After drying myself we both walk to my bedroom. 

"You know you didn't have to do that." I want her to know that I don't want to use her.

"When Marcus says he'll deal with me later it means I can convince him. He usually wants anal or for me to give him a blowjob."

"He said you aren't good at it."

"I'm not good at it. Not with men."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I can't stand letting them touch me."

"What's your name?"

"Tarani. They all call me Annie."

It was Ta-ra-ni. Not Ta-ran-ie. But whatever.

"I'm gonna call you Tara."

"okay."

She smiles but doesn't ask my name.

"I'm Rose."

I get dressed then tell her to pick something from my closet.

"When you get downstairs apologize to the boys."



She walks down wearing a large T-shirt and skinny jeans. Mumbles a sorry to Kamron and Larry. Then she sits on the floor in a corner. Like a dog. 

"Sit on the couch." I tell her. She gets on the couch, a smile creeping around her lips.

I cook and serve plates and watch everyone gather around the table but her. 

"Tara, come eat."

She sits staring at the food.

Larry says, "What's wrong? You ain't ever seen real food before?"

The guys laugh. Until she says, "I've never had a home cooked meal."

It gets quiet around the table.

"Try it out." Donny says to her.

She takes her fork and digs in.

"Is it good?" I ask. It might need a little salt. But she says, "It's amazing." He eyes light up and then she starts shoveling the food into her mouth like she might never eat again.

"Woa slow down. You won't go hungry while you're here." I say to which she replies.

"But I might not be here long."

"I got you for a month."

She takes a pause and smiles. Huge. 

After dinner I go upstairs to bed and let her stay downstairs and watch TV with the boys. Around midnight she comes into the room. I'm on my phone checking my emails. 

"Get in the bed." I say to her in the dark not wanting her to think she has to sleep on the floor.

She crawls in shyly next to me a good two feet.

"Get comfortable."

She scoots closer.

After a while of silence I feel her hand creeping up on my thigh.

"What are you doing? I told you you don't have to."

"I want to. To thank you for getting me out of their even if it's for a month."

She pulls on my inner thigh and crawls deeper under the sheets. Spreads my legs open and pushes herself between them. I let her pull my clothes down until I'm naked from the waist down.

I don't touch myself and I haven't been with a man in forever. There was no way I could stop what we both wanted. I opened my legs wider to invite her in.



To be continued...