9 comments/ 32845 views/ 33 favorites The Craving Chronicles Bk. 01 Pt. 01 By: TheAnonymousFan Author's Note: This story is a re-publication of my previous story titled "The Craving" which I published here in the beginning of 2014. I decided to revise it to change some weird display of language, a few small typo's, but also to adapt this chapter to what I wanted for the sequel (a sequel wasn't really planned in the beginning) -- as well as what I wanted for the possible future of the universe in which this story and its sequel takes place. There might still be some grammatical errors in this version because I have had no one to proof-read it, but hopefully they'll be few. This story contains graphic lesbian sex, as well as supernatural elements and, perhaps, questionable consent. Comments and feedback is very much appreciated! P.S This story is entirely written and published by TheAnonymousFan at www.literotica.com, and if you as reader has found this story elsewhere, I would appreciate it if you could contact me at www.literotica.com using the username provided, or report the story to the host on that site. Thank you very much. ©TheAnonymousFan The Craving Chronicles Bk. 01 Pt. 01 "So... are you gay? Bisexual? Straight?" I said, and chuckled on the last one. After I had asked, I realized she probably thought I was rude. Truth was that I was just extremely nervous, and well... I tend to screw up a lot then, as I suspect a lot of people do. Lily glanced at me, placed her glass on the living room table and straightened up in the sofa. "I prefer not to label myself. But you may say that I have plenty of experience... playing on each team." She said, and then gave me that crooked smile again. Her eyes glistened from amusement. She was totally teasing me, and I gave her a dry look and a snort. Since my ex dropped the bomb on me that she had been sleeping with a man a quarter of our relationship despite initially telling me she was gay, I would probably suffer from serious trust-issues a long time ahead in several aspects of my love-life if you know what I mean. "Truth to be said though; I fancy you." What she said made my heart take a little extra leap. Her voice was very sultry and seductive, and I really felt like kissing her. However, during our time at the café, Dex had pointed out that sleeping around with girls because I felt sad and lost after my break-up wouldn't help with anything, it would only give me an STD. He had annoyed the shit out of me by saying that, but in truth it was pretty realistic I guess. I had become a total player after breaking up with Mira -- something that I am truly shameful about today. Either way, I didn't care if I'd only have Lily for a night -- she was definitely seducing me, and I would definitely grab the chance. At first my thin lips barely grazed hers, and she literally froze. She didn't move an inch, and gave no indication whether she liked the thought of me kissing her or not. Her stony silence was almost enough to daunt me, but I was determined to get my way. As with most of my sexual encounters, I expected to be the one in charge here as well. You can imagine the surprise and, frankly, shock I experienced as Lily pressed her lips hard onto mine and kissed me hungrily. To be honest I almost couldn't keep up, and suddenly she had me nervous again. With uncertainty I placed my hands on her hips all the while the kisses grew more and more passionate. The beautiful woman before me parted her lips slightly, but before my tongue could snake inside and explore her mouth, hers blocked mine out. We parted momentarily, just a few millimeters between our lips. She licked atop my upper lip and then she pulled back to a normal sitting position on the couch, again picking up her wine-glass and took a tiny sip from it. I was left just looking at her, sitting in the exact same position as if we were still leaning into each other. Suddenly I felt a bit stupid for thinking that she would want to go the whole way on our first date. The kiss, however... I had a feeling I wouldn't forget that kiss anytime soon. I finally straightened up, and Lily's right hand lightly caressed my left. "Are you cold?" The question slipped out of me before I could stop it. The room was absolutely silent, and she looked as if she was contemplating what to answer -- almost as if she didn't know if she was cold or not. "Yes," she finally said, and then added: "slow metabolism." as some kind of way of explaining it. When she mentioned it, I remembered reading somewhere that people with slow metabolism had lower body-temperatures. Well, I guess that made sense. "Let me fetch you a blanket, hmm?" I said and went to my bedroom to find one. As I stood there I couldn't help the little fantasy that took place in my head. I was imagining that Lily quietly followed me and made insane love to me in my bed using a strap-on. Normally I'm the one using the strap-on in the bedroom, not the other way around. But nevertheless the fantasy left me flustered and extremely horny, and I realized that fetching that blanket had taken way longer than it should have. I hurried back to the living-room with it. Lily's eyes seemed to bore into mine as I returned, and I blushed at the fact that she could probably see how aroused I was. She decided not to comment it at least, which I was more than thankful for. That evening was fucked up enough as it was. "Thank you. That was very sweet of you." She said and grabbed the blanket I handed her before I sat down. "You actually strike me as the kind person who goes slowly about this kind of stuff." Lily remarked after a while of silence, probably referring to sex and dating. Now that she said it, I thought back; my relationship with Mira had started with a steaming hot night of sex after we had met at a mutual friend's party. All my relationships before Mira had begun much the same way. Stating that, I'm not always after only sex -- I have had serious, loving relationships despite short such. Her assessment of me was by default then extremely wrong; maybe I really was the forced and hurried kind? Or maybe I hadn't met the right person yet -- the one truly worthy of my time and commitment? Thinking back, I should probably have realized by first glance at Lily that she was definitely the slow and steady kind. "Well, looks can be deceiving..." I murmured, playing on the similar conversation about outer appearances that we had had on the party at the lodging-house. Lily snickered, obviously taking the hint. All of a sudden she trailed her chilly index-finger from my right cheek, down my jaw and slim neck, all the way to my right nipple. Having worked out pretty much all my life I had very small breasts, so I didn't really have the need for a bra. That single touch on my nipple sent a bolt of pleasure through my body unlike anything I had ever felt from as simple a touch as that. I arched my back and a ragged moan escaped me; I had wanted her bad enough before she touched me, and she knew that. Such a tease. My eyes were closed, and I heard her chuckle -- the first time I had heard her laugh. "Teasing you is probably the most refreshing thing I've done in ages." She whispered and placed a light kiss on my neck. Her breath was hot against my skin and her tongue snaked out, its wet tip barely touching my skin before withdrawing. When nothing more happened, I opened my eyes. The pounding in my nether regions was all physical stimuli I felt at that moment, she had withdrawn from all contact with my body. I glanced over at her, and she had a weird expression in her face -- her mouth only a thin, straight line and her eyes looked un-focused, to describe it as best as possible. "Are we going to continue...?" I asked breathlessly when she didn't say anything. "... I'm not sure." She answered and blinked for the first time. "You know what, think about that and I'll go out for a smoke." I said, thankful for an excuse to get away from her for a while. That previous sense of excitement mixed with trepidation from the night we had spent at the party was back -- she was acting weird. She seemed like she wanted me very badly, or at least sex very badly, but at the same time she seemed to dread it -- and somehow looked like she refrained herself from something. When I was lighting my cigarette on the little porch I shared with the other residents in the complex I noticed my fingers were shaking. I was definitely not used to this; whenever I had wanted to bed someone, I had made that happen and it had been on my terms. This was so far away from my comfort-zone that I briefly even considered going back inside and tell her that I wasn't interested. That plan didn't have time to develop in my head for long until I felt two arms snake around my waist. Well, I'd say it wouldn't have been too weird considering the circumstances if those arms belonged to Lily. And -- surprise, surprise! "Smoking is bad for you, but then again a lot of things in this world are." she whispered in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. I took a deep trembling breath through my cigarette, and being an in-frequent smoker, that made me cough violently. Her arms grip around me tightened, and her slim and surprisingly steadfast body was molded into mine. She did start grinding her hips against my ass, leveling my excitement, before a neighbor got out from the newly-parked car on the parking-lot and slammed the drivers-door shut. I felt Lily jerk, obviously becoming very distracted by the sound. Her arms retreated and she backed away. She excused herself, saying that she remembered that she had an important issue to deal with. "How about we see each other again on the evening of Wednesday?" Lily suggested. "Wednesday is good for me." I said weakly, still not completely recovered from her erotic assault just seconds before. Lily gave me a smile, and walked off the porch and headed down the side-walk away from the complex. As she passed Mrs. Thompson on the stairs, the elderly woman stopped and staggered a bit before blinking and shaking her head, continuing her walk up the stairs with her grocery bag. She was a nice lady and neighbor so we greeted each other a bit friendlier than I greeted my other neighbors. Lily's sudden departure was unexpected, and I felt relieved but still confused to see her go so suddenly. The Craving Chronicles Bk. 01 Pt. 01 "Tell me what you want; tell me what you wanted to do to me when we met..." she hissed in my ear. Fuck, the sound of her voice made me shiver in delight; her cool breath washing over the side of my face made goose-bumps arise all over my torso. "I... I wanted to... fuck you..." I whispered back, obviously out of my mind for playing straight into her hands. Shivers were running down my spine; she was good at seducing, I'll give her that. "How...?" she pushed on, leaning further into me, her left hand provocatively placed on the sheet below and between my thighs, her naked shoulder and left arm stroking against my neck and stomach. The temperature of the skin on her shoulder and arm was in such contrast with mine, that I shivered. She's not human... echoed through my mind again. "I once was, believe it or not, but more to the point; how were you planning on fucking me?" She was still leaning against me, whispering in my ear -- but this time, perhaps as if she was getting a bit impatient, the tip of her tongue snaked out and wetted my ear with its cold saliva. I gasped aloud, and stammered: "I... I h-have... with m-my strap-on... I w-wanted t-to fuck you with it." At the sound of those words, Lily leaned back from me, her eyes intently staring into mine instead. They were on fire from lust, their strange color glowing and basically lighting up my bedroom. Oh fuck... what have I gotten myself into...? "You give me great inspiration, Chris... Tell me; where do you keep it?" her sultry and slightly rough voice whispered. I just closed my eyes in a sort of defeated manner; she wanted me; sex -- and it would be no other way it seemed. Why had I not yet screamed for help, tried to run, resisted her influence in any way? "I-in the bedroom-drawer..." I said. Before I had even spoken the words, she had gotten out of the bed and descended on my bedroom-drawer. I heard her rummaging through it, but honestly I didn't care. I just drew a deep sigh, trying to calm down somewhat. Okay, so... she hasn't hurt me or killed me yet, which I guess is positive. "Chris, I'm not going to kill you. I don't want to kill you; I have never wanted to kill you. But...I have wanted you, and I aim to take what I have craved for days right here and now." She said. I glanced over at her next to my bedroom-drawer just as she turned around. She was naked now; instead of panties she had my leather-harness around her hips, attached to it was my favorite purple silicone-dildo. A flutter of panic sifted through me again; yes, strap-on sex was my personal favorite -- but I was always on the giving end, not the receiving. I was rather the penetrator instead of the other way around, so to speak. It had been years since I had been penetrated with anything other than perhaps two fingers during sex, and that purple dildo wasn't exactly a newbie-dildo with its five inch girth and eight inch length. Oh fuck... "Uh... I-I can't... I can't take that one. I-it's too big..." I stammered nervously, yet the sight of it excited me somewhat. "Sure you can, lovely." Lily said simply, and then she held up a bottle of water-based lube, grinning mischievously. "Come here." She added and waved me to her. I slowly made my way towards her, filled with that strange mix of excitement and trepidation. What really awaited me, besides being fucked by a dildo I was most certainly not accustomed to? As soon as I reached her, Lily grabbed my shoulders and swiftly slammed my back into the closest wall with a loud thud. It didn't exactly hurt in any way, but it left me shocked. She had a hungry expression on her face and in her eyes, but I didn't have many moments to think about that as she quickly leaned down and began planting feathery kisses on my neck, collarbone and jaw. I gasped as she nursed my earlobe, panting in my ear. Her body was pressing into mine, the chilly touch of it against my heated stomach exciting my nerves. Her skin had a hard texture, it was soft but at the same time I knew that it was very much more resilient to physical harm than mine. I know it sounds cliché, but it felt a bit like... marble; so smooth, yet so hard. The chilly rubbery-ness of the dildo was pressing hard against my right thigh, constantly reminding me of what was to come. Lily's ministrations on my neck, throat and face pulled my thoughts away pretty soon. Eventually she turned her attention to my mouth, kissing me passionately -- and with steadily increasing excitement I kissed her back. Say what you want about my fear; she knew exactly how to manipulate my body in her favor. In the kiss we had shared in my sofa the first night she had visited me she hadn't allowed my tongue access to her mouth, probably because I would have felt her sharp, inhuman teeth and she hadn't wanted to blow her cover -- but now, however, our tongues wrestled and slithered against each other. My tongue stroked her teeth by pure reflex; barely grazing the razor-sharp points of them before Lily pulled back slightly, breaking our kiss. "Please, don't do that. I... I don't want to accidentally hurt you... They ache to bite down..." she said breathlessly, moaning the last part and shuddering. Okay, so she would... bite me by accident if I licked her teeth...? Maybe that was a reflex-trigger for her...? I don't know, but I decided to keep to what she said, and instead I let her take charge. She was definitely the... umm... dominant part, and considering that she could probably kill me in five seconds, either with purpose or accidentally, I felt a lot safer by just letting her decide the course of action. Simply put, she was the one who had to be in control in order to keep me alive. The thought of dying scared me, of course, yet the longer we progressed the safer I felt with her. I was by no way feeling safe with her; there was definitely plenty of danger associated to everything about her, but she somehow made me feel... cared for, in a way I can't quite explain. Lily soon resumed her ministrations at my neck and face, licking and sucking my lips and tongue, before she slowly progressed further down; ending up on my breasts. My breasts had always been very sensitive, and I moaned out loud as she nipped and suckled my right breast and aureole. Shivers went through my body, a shuddered gasp escaped my mouth and my stomach-muscles tightened as she dragged her sharp teeth across my breast, not drawing blood but enough to create deep-red marks in my skin. Her hands were seizing my small buttocks in a powerful grip, slowly but roughly massaging them. Lily was hunching lower and lower down, leaving my left breast unattended and trailing the tip of her wet and cold tongue down over my hardened abs until it nestled in my carefully trimmed pubic hair where she paused. By then I was a writhing and sweaty mess, panting heavily and whimpering for her to continue. My hands gripped her hair and my eyes rolled back in their sockets as she eventually ran the flat of her tongue from my vaginal entrance to my clitoris. Not that it should have shocked me, but like everything else about her it seemed her tongue had a strange texture. It felt almost like the tongue of a cat, sharp yet smooth. Obviously, she was all about contrasts. Like a cat's... tongue. What are they called... p-something... pa-pap, papillae-barbs! My frantic mind thought. Her tongue was one of a cat, rough barbs stimulating the sodden flesh of my pussy unlike anything I had ever felt before. Why hadn't I felt those earlier? All the muscles in my nether region jerked and went rigid, signaling that I was very, very close to the edge. Lily's strange tongue proceeded to gently probe at my vaginal entrance. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck..." I gasped, again and again, grabbing Lily's hair tightly and my eyes practically welded together. When her strangely agile and invasive tongue pressed itself inside of me, the dam inside me burst. A bomb went off in my head, sending searing feelings of pleasure through my every nerve and eventually leaving them sizzling. I wailed loudly, squeezing my thighs together and trapping Lily's head in between. She didn't seem to mind, but instead continued to languidly lick up my juices, never really allowing my orgasm to subside completely. Had it not been for Lily's strong hands clasping my hips, I would have fallen into a twitching heap on the floor. My eyes were closed, and I felt Lily's tongue slowly retreating from my pussy. I exhaled loudly, and then tried to regain my breath. Lily slowly let go of my hips, as if to see if I would be able to stand on my own. I had recovered somewhat, so I was able to stand (well, mostly lean actually) on my own. Lily's right hand had soon returned to my left hip. I briefly started to wonder where her left hand was, until I felt something chilly and slippery nosing its way in-between my thighs. The dildo, she was going to fuck me now, I thought to myself -- full with both dread and excitement. She guided the head of it to seat at my vaginal entrance. "I am finally going to fuck you..." She hissed. I didn't even have a moment to process what she said before the dildo violently invaded my vaginal-canal in one single, powerful thrust. The lube eased off most of the friction, but that didn't stop me from crying out loud at the sudden invasion and stretching pain in my sex. My eyes shot open, and I buried my face in the cold and hard skin of her neck, my eyes tearing up. "Aaaahh... it... that hurt..." I panted. Lily's hands were again on my hips holding me in a steady grip against the wall. By leaning my face down in her neck, I left my own neck completely exposed for Lily. "Pain has two sides; pain can be torturous and fatal, but it can also make you feel alive, and you have longed to feel alive for quite some time have you not?" Lily whispered in-between kisses on the heated flesh of my neck. Would she bite me now, I wondered to myself, but was yet again left surprised, even slightly touched, by the (what I assumed to be) extreme sense of self-control she was displaying. The rubbery cock stirred within me; Lily was slowly rotating her hips, and the moan that left my mouth was sincere enough proof of my enjoyment for her to increasing her pace -- and eventually evolving the rotating movements into long and deep strokes. My fluids had by now greased up the toy plenty for there to be almost no uncomfortable friction at all, only the slightly exciting kind of pain accompanying the stretching of my sex from being thoroughly filled and fucked. I was certainly discovering other sides of myself, for I had never before been this submissive during (lovemaking?) a fuck. Lily let out an inhuman growl of excitement as I began pushing back on her strokes, having discovered the pleasure of the cock rubbing against my g-spot. All major muscles in my body were tense; I knew I was on the verge of a massive orgasm. Lily definitely knew that as well, because she took my right earlobe between her lips and nursed it, and then majorly increased the power of her strokes. The pace was still rather slow, but the power of the strokes was almost enough to push the air out of my lungs each time. The pain associated with that power only drove me on -- Lily had been correct, it did make me feel alive -- and Lily's slender fingers reached down and grasped my enlarged and sensitive nub, giving it a few fast strokes, and that was all it took. I gave an almost strangled cry, and exploded my orgasm. Waves of electrifying pleasure radiated through my entire system, and I went rigid. Lily drove me through the orgasm, never seizing her figurative assault on my sex, until a second orgasm followed and overlapped the first. I had experienced double orgasms a few times in the past, but triple? Never. I wailed aloud, throwing my legs around Lily's waist and my arms around her neck, crushing her to my body and squeezing her against me. The electrifying waves increased, my pulse increased, to almost alarming levels -- until seconds later there was complete and utter bliss. Lily had quit her strokes, but the dildo was still firmly lodged inside of me. My body went from almost completely rigid, to almost completely limp; my arms falling to hang limply at my sides instead of being locked around Lily's neck; my legs falling in a similar matter instead of being locked around her nether back and squeezing her against me. Lily quickly moved one hand to my waist, and pressing another one in-between the wall and my back to hold me in a steady grip so that I wouldn't fall down. My head lolled forth, coming to rest on her hard shoulder with a thud. I had held my breath for most of my orgasm(s), and realized at the stinging pain in my lungs that I still was. "You need to breath, Chris." Lily said, and I suddenly felt that strange nudge in my mind that I had felt when Lily earlier that night had taken away my voice -- that strange ethereal power. I took a trembling breath, like an infant finally breathing on its own, and exhaled loudly. I had never felt this fatigued from sex; it was almost as if she had consumed my energy during it. Maybe she had? My mind lazily thought. "I only feast on the physical of the human body; the blood." She answered to another question that I hadn't voiced out loud. Time passed without her saying anymore, and the open window combined with my sweaty body started to make me freeze. Other things were occupying my mind, however. I was still resting my head on her shoulder, and would she have just turned her head slightly, she would have had access to just that; my blood. My neck, my pulsing jugular, was entirely exposed to her. If she would have wished to feast on my blood she could have easily done it. And to be honest; at that point I didn't even care, the sex had drained me of any last sliver of resistance I could have displayed, had she chosen to take advantage of my fatigue. Again, she surprised me -- instead of piercing my flesh with those sharp teeth, and draining me of blood, she carefully stepped back from the wall, still carrying me. The dildo stirred within me, causing a low moan to leave my lips, as she carried me to my bed and leaned down. She placed me on the soft mattress, and lay down on top of me, supporting herself on her arms. In a very erotic but animalistic manner she smelled me; her nose traveling along my neck, my face, my shoulders and collarbone. Maybe satisfied that I was cloaked in her scent she eventually pulled away, slowly dragging the dildo out of me. Another low moan poured forth at the absence of the thick toy. Lily quickly un-cinched it and tossed it on the floor beside the bed and laid down next to me again. I was on my back, staring up at the ceiling with heavy eye-lids; my arms were lying plainly on my flanks. Lily was on her side, facing me; her right arm draped over my naked torso and her eyes gazing into my face. I was entirely spent, yet I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep with her hard and cold body meshed against my sweaty flesh. She seemed to pick up on this, and quickly got up from the bed and wrapped her part of the sheet around me, then lay down again -- not entirely as close that time around. That sign of acuteness and caring affected my emotional state deeply, and I drifted off to a light and restless sleep thinking about how Lily had so obviously not been what I had expected since she had confessed to me about being a vampire. The Craving Chronicles Bk. 01 Pt. 02 Author's Note: I recommend that you read the 1st installment in the series before venturing into this one. This story contains graphic lesbian sex and vampirism. Much of the sex is anal -- I've marked the beginning and end of these paragraphs with *** if you want to skip them but still continue reading Chris and Lily's story. Again I mention that the story might contain grammatical errors, but hopefully few. As always, comments and feedback is much appreciated. P.S This story is solely written and published by TheAnonymousFan here at www.literotica.com, and if you as reader have found this story elsewhere, I would appreciate it if you could contact me here on Literotica, or report it to the host on that site. Thank you very much. ©TheAnonymousFan The Craving Chronicles Bk. 01 Pt. 02 What to do about her? I had lied to her when she had asked me what had happened, and I had acted like a complete asshole towards her for most of our time together. Not intentionally, of course, but still -- my behavior during the past four-five months dawned on me suddenly. My feelings toward Julie might not have been the strongest and most faithful, and she deserved better than me. I had to talk to her, at least try. "Julie, I... I'm sorry that I've acted like such a douche towards you." I walked up to her and told her as she came home. She had hung with some friends all day; I think she wanted to avoid a confrontation. She looked taken aback. "Uhh... t-thanks, Chris. I've never done this before, you know? I'm not sure what to expect, really." She said hesitantly. Yeah, I was her first real relationship, she had told me that earlier as well. I guess I didn't exactly have that much experience either. Hadn't I been so compelled by Lily's sole existence when we met (or if Lily and I had never met at all), I think Julie and I had worked out a lot better. The move-in was sort of unexpected too, and to be honest I felt a bit suffocated, but I didn't think it necessary to bring that up right then. The thought of breaking up with her had passed through my head multiple times by then, but I just... couldn't. I don't know if it was egoism, or self-pity or whatever -- but I couldn't bring myself to do it right at that moment. Julie didn't seem too excited to venture further into a relationship-talk, and frankly neither did I. "I've just had a lot... on my mind lately", I explained lamely, then tried (and failed) to subtly switch subject, "Anyways, I'm going to call in sick tomorrow too. Rest up a bit more before going Tuesday." Julie smiled weakly, probably not so surprised at me for changing subject. Dinner was stiff and awkward that evening, and sleep just the same. I think Julie was a bit relieved as I snaked my left arm around her, which had been my purpose. To me, it felt faked. I was unable to sleep for a long time. Thoughts about Julie and our relationship occupied my mind, thoughts about Lily (as if that was unexpected), and the whole scene at the street on Thursday. I replayed it over and over in my mind, trying to find some sort of indication to when the hallucination had started, if it had been one. By then I was mostly leaning towards believing that what I had been through had been real, and that Lily had been real -- but it still felt safer to just dismiss it all as something my imagination had conjured. There had been more than two days, and I wondered if she had actually shown up somewhere waiting for me. Ugh, I would have to attend to that problem the following day. Julie would be away in her study-group after classes were finished, so she wouldn't be back until late the following evening. The Craving Chronicles Bk. 01 Pt. 02 The sudden sound of someone opening the door almost made my heart jump out of my chest. That someone being Julie, of course. Fan-fucking-tastic. "Hey Chris, I— who're you?" Julie interrupted her intended sentence, and directed the question at Lily. Oh fuck. Lily was looking sort of pale (touché), and uncharacteristically panicked. In fact I had never seen her panic. Lily and I had just been talking -- similarly to the evening before, so there really weren't any reason to get paranoid or defensive. Yet both of us acted as if... well, as if there had been... something else going on between us. When Lily didn't muster up an answer in what Julie deemed an appropriate time-frame, she directed the question to me: "Who is she, Chris?" "Uh, hey," someone please shoot me, "her name is Lily, she's a... friend." Julie picked up on my hesitancy to explain mine and Lily's relationship towards each other. "Right, 'a friend'." She snapped coldly. "It's not what you thin—" "So, have you already fucked, or were you going to?" Oh, Jesus. Lily and I stood pretty close to each other; her left arm and shoulder were almost touching my right counterpart. Too close. I actually felt Lily shudder, and in the next breath, she forced out: "I should... probably leave." Great, now I had to explain this all by myself. Nice one, Lily. Considering it all; the secrecy between Lily and I as we had met on too many occasions without Julie's knowledge, the lies and evasive excuses, I probably deserved this tenfold. I hadn't cheated on her; I had kept resolute in my convictions -- not to cheat on anyone the way Mira had done to me -- despite several subtle approaches from Lily's side. I knew what she wanted, and it took a lot of stepping on my own pride to admit, but I felt almost ready to go there again. Just not until I had come clean with Julie. Even through my many opportunities to tell her what was going on, I hadn't. I had evaded it until the last second, but the time was right. Besides, she had sort of forced my hand by walking in while Lily was here. "You should." Julie snapped. Lily was quickly out of our room. If I knew her right she was parked outside the dormitory, listening to our ensuing conversation. "How long have you been cheating on me?" "I haven't cheated on you!" "Oh, you fucking liar," Julie's voice was vengeful in its intensity, "I knew something was going on with you. I knew this was going on! Why you were never happy around me... w-why we almost never had sex, and when we did you didn't even seem to enjoy it..." Julie's anger with me went over into heartbreaking sobs, and my insides twisted with resentment towards myself. Julie was never the angry or emotional person, she was the fragile and shy one, and I hated myself even more thinking what this would do to her self-esteem. I should have told Julie a long time ago what was going on, and spared us both all of this. "Julie, it's not what you think... I haven't told you about my... relation towards that... woman." My voice was soft; I guess I wanted to be gentle towards Julie before I was going to break her heart, and our relationship. A realization that Julie could have been completely wrong in her accusations fluttered by through her eyes, but then she seemed to instead steel herself for what was coming: "That woman and I had a brief... liaison over two years ago. We met a couple of times, we spent one night together, she... confided in me, and told me that she was falling for me. I told you about Mira, right? How hurt and fucked up she left me? That woman, Lily, she sort of... inadvertently got me through that. And then... she left. Without a word, without a note -- I hadn't heard a single word from her up until about a month ago. When she left, I realized my own feelings -- how strong they were. I was miserable for a long time. When you and I met, it sort of emptied the void -- and I did feel something towards you, I do. It's just..." I realized it was cruel to tell Julie that she had basically been a substitute, but I knew I had to be completely honest and then take it from there. "Not as strong as what you feel towards her...?" Julie filled in with a scowl on her face. It was quickly replaced with a sort of hopelessness. "I don't know if I believe you. You should have fucking told me, you asshole. We could have... I don't know, worked it out... talked about it..." About halfway through it probably dawned on Julie that doing so would not have resolved anything. Lily's presence would still have been there, and our feelings towards each other would still have existed. "I'm sorry it turned out this way. Her coming back was never planned on my part, I was shocked. I meant to tell you about it in the beginning, but I just... I don't know what I was trying to do." Making excuses wouldn't help anyone, I soon realized. "How can you love someone who abandoned you...?" Julie asked in a wounded tone. "I don't know, okay? I can't put words to it, I just know that I have to pursue this second chance I have been given. And I don't want you to have to compete with someone that I have such a loaded history with, that's not fair in any way." "You're cruel, Chris. I loved you! You could have told me! I don't see us recovering from this, not even as friends. I have completely switched my social-life, so that we could be together; I came out, and lost a bunch of friends. My parents even threatened to disown me! And you do this to me!" Julie was moving from shy and silent, towards emotional pretty quickly. I, on the other hand, had my emotions a bit closer at hand. "What! I never forced you, or even mentioned that you should come out! I was perfectly fine just keeping this between you and me, and maybe our closest friends! I can't help that you decided you wanted to be out and proud two months after falling in love with a woman! And I can't help that the majority of your friends are bigots!" my voice was by then a lot louder than in the beginning of the confrontation. Julie looked like she was boiling, which was a rare sight indeed. Instead of shouting at me, she let loose a forced "Argh!" and stomped her foot in the floor, then turned around and left. She slammed the door after her as she left, and her footsteps in the hallway were loud as she stomped off. I hurried to lock the door; I needed some privacy. Just a moment later there was a knock on my window, which almost made me soil myself. What the fuck! Lily was perched on the very narrow window-sill facing the street. How she kept her balance was certainly a question, but then again I wouldn't bother asking it. I just released a heavy sigh, and hurried to open the window; someone outside could see her sitting there and that would be... problematic to say the least. Lily crawled in, brushed off her tight jeans and turned to me. "I'm sorry it turned out like this." "I don't think I believe you," Lily sucked in a breath as if to start defending herself, "I think you are ruled by primal instincts more similar to those of an animal than a human. I don't think you care much for Julie's well-being, you care about your own and I dare say mine -- but that's it." Lily was starting to look annoyed, but I kept pushing. She had shuddered when Julie had jumped to the conclusion that we had either already fucked, or that we were going to -- exactly proving my point; the urge had been there. And for all I knew, Lily was constantly carrying around these primal instincts and impulses, and normal, societal ethics and morals barely kept them on a leash and possibly kept her from acting on them the second they surfaced. She had a primal way with emotions that I believe the average human is too eviscerated to truly show or comprehend. If that is a good or bad thing, I am not so sure of. "Everything is heightened for me. Where 'normal' ethics and social-codes would inhibit me had I been human, they no longer do. Even if I dislike being psycho-analyzed, you are fairly accurate in your reasoning. Let me just add that I carry secrets that are not mine to share, like I told you yesterday -- and they play a very important part of the 'leash' you think of." A small grin was playing on her face, and I was left dumbstruck. Had she heard my thoughts, again?! "W-when...?" I stammered. She had told me that too much misery had clouded my mind, that she had been unable to hear me. "Just now, in fact. I think that you confronting your misery helped a great deal, as I said before. You and I are entwined... I'm beginning to believe that we are meant to be." Lily whispered at the end, while she moved closer and eventually embraced me. She was poetic at least, I'll give her that. My body was stiff as a steel-pipe during the embrace, I was certain that I wasn't ready for the emotion she wanted to assault me with. Besides, five minutes after breaking up with my previous girlfriend was a bit too soon to jump back in the hay. Lily's cold skin seemed to wrap around me, not physically but mentally. There was comfort in the recognition or her skin against mine, but I still pushed her gently away from me. "If you would just relax, we could easily put two years of longing behind us." She said in a hushed tone, as she was resting her head on my shoulder. Now it was my turn to shudder. I knew from experience that sex with Lily was... mind-blowing, unreal in its intensity -- but I was frightened that history would repeat itself. That Lily would leave, and I would be left with only the memories of yet another night. "I've told you, I will not leave this city in a long time, and when I have to I'll be sure to bring you along. Two years away from you wasn't easy for me either. I was always wondering if you still remembered me, if you had moved on, if you were even alive, if I should return to rip open old wounds. You need to put more trust in yourself and in me, and let me show you what two years of longing for you looks like..." She was going all-in on the seducing, that was for sure. Goose-bumps were rising on my skin, and I was definitely tempted. But it was too soon, not to mention the fact that the whole dormitory would hear us through these paper-thin walls. "I c-can't, Lily. Not yet, not now. I'm not ready to...to lose myself to you yet." Lily growled quietly in my ear, frustrated at the refusal. Nevertheless, she reluctantly pulled back. I think she knew that she had no one else to blame for this than herself. She couldn't blame me, or punish me for acting the way I did. I wanted to be certain, as certain as one could be with a 300-year old vampire, before proceeding.