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The Best Years of My Life

By: smj54ap



For Addie

"Thank you dear," I said gratefully when Beverly handed me the Times Gazette. 

At my age, the most interesting part of the newspaper was reading the obituaries. Even with glasses, I still used a magnifier to see the print. I scanned down the columns and thanked the Almighty that I recognized none of the deceased. 

I neatly folded the newspaper that my daughter Beverly brought for me and placed it on the table tray. She gazed at me with one of her patented impatient looks because I was procrastinating. 

"Mother, you need to go through this box of papers I found and decide what you want to keep," she said with exasperation. 

Why Beverly was incapable of doing it herself, I couldn't fathom. I had reached the "who gives a damn" stage of my life. I was weary and wanted to say,

"Throw it in the trash," but held my tongue. 

The house I grew up in and spent most of my adult life was sold and closing was in less than a week. 

Unable to care for myself any longer, I reluctantly moved to a God forsaken nursing home. I knew my only means of escape was in a pine box and it was just a matter of time. 

"At least I have that to look forward too," I thought very cynically to myself. 

Except for Beverly and my granddaughter Jessica, everyone I had known and loved had preceded me in death.

Beverly handed me a pile of papers and it took me a good half hour before I said to burn them. I was feeling very tired but accepted another stack where I found a faded manilla style folder. 

Inside was the newspaper obituary for Adelaide Emily Wilburne. 

"Oh Addie," I mumbled sadly to myself and tears shrouded my eyes. 

In spite of the long expanse of time, just seeing her name filled me with longing for days gone by. Beverly looked at me with concern.

"Mom, what's wrong?" she asked in a serious tone.

I held the obit and wept with sorrow. I couldn't even begin to explain to Beverly what the scrap of paper with the name on it meant to me. 

The next morning, I was sitting up eating my breakfast in a sullen mood when Beverly appeared in my doorway with a worried expression. 

"Hi mom, feeling better today?" she asked with kindness.

"Yes dear," I said with a fake smile.

I had spent most of the previous night feeling sorry for myself as I tearfully remembered Addie and the wonderful times that we shared in our youth. 

"Silly old fool, you can't change the past. What's done is done," my mind screamed at me in chastisement. 

That morning, I resolved to tell Beverly about Addie and the impact she had on me. 

"I want to tell you the story of my life before I met your father," I stated firmly.

Beverly was staring at me with wide eyed curiosity but just thinking about Addie and I got choked up. When I tried to speak, my voice was cracking. 

"Mom, you don't have to say anything but is it about the obituary you found?" she asked with sympathy.

As I gazed at my daughter, I lost my nerve and buried my weeping face in my hands. Beverly tried to soothe me and rubbed my back very gently but it was impossible for me to go on. 

I wanted to tell Beverly that the person in the obituary was my best friend, my first true love and that I still had undying love for her in my heart. 

But, what purpose would be served? Beverly believed that her father was my first love and I didn't want to spoil that for her. 

When Beverly was growing up, she was the type of child every parent wished they had. She was intelligent, funny, caring, respectful, loving and compassionate. When she graduated from medical school, I don't think there was a more proud parent on the planet than me. 

I loved my daughter and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings. So, I decided that the story of my life with Adelaide Wilburne would remain inside of me. 

For my own edification, I resolved to put my memories of Addie in a cohesive order. 

"Get a hold of yourself Madelyn and start from the beginning," I heard Addie politely admonish me in my mind.

With steadfast determination, I lay on my bed recalling my earliest memories of the person that I treasured above all others and had the greatest impact on my life.

1929:

My mother was standing in my bedroom holding a freshly ironed dress. 

"I don't want to go in that old thing," I stated in a whiny voice with a sour expression on my face.

"Mrs. Wilburne and I are old friends and they are expecting you," my mother stated firmly and by the tone of her voice, I was fighting a lost cause.

Old friends? Since when? The Wilburne's lived on the other side of the tracks, the wealthier side. 

Adelaide Wilburne was my classmate in fourth grade and invited everyone to her St. Valentines Day party. We sat next to each other and became very chummy.

In the spirit of friendly competition, we conducted an academic rivalry and it really solidified our friendship. Whenever Miss Persell, our teacher, handed back a test, we compared scores and kept a running total. 

We were the top two students and although Adelaide was ahead, she never rubbed it in. With her smiling youthful face, she would encourage me to do better. In the 1920's parties with elaborate decorations and holiday themes were held frequently. We dressed in our Sunday best for every affair except Halloween.

The problem for me was the lack of up to date and stylish clothes to wear. The dress my mother was holding was a hand me down from my sister Pauline. I wanted to wear a new dress but my protests were falling on deaf ears.

Adelaide or Addie as she preferred, was at the door greeting everyone as they came in. I had been to her house a few times and stared with wonder at the furnishings and décor. 

Although not wealthy by the standards of today, the Wilburne's were doing better than most us. But, Addie was the last person to lord it over someone because her folks had some money. 

"Hello Madelyn, I'm so glad you could come," she said sweetly when I arrived and rolled her eyes with a pained expression.

Luckily for me, no one commented about my dress and I had a good time. Beautiful paper decorations festooned the parlor with a table of the most delectable sweets. We played party games and I won my favorite, musical chairs.

Stuffed with candy and cake, I was putting my coat on and felt sad that I had to leave. I enjoyed Addie's company and appreciated the time we spent together. 

"Thank you for coming," Addie said politely and rolled her eyes with the same pained expression.

Under her breath, she muttered,

"I'm sick of saying those silly words," and winked at me.

That's what I liked about Addie, she had a no nonsense attitude and wit as sharp as a tack. 

In fifth grade, Elmer Ross was having a Halloween party to end all Halloween parties and the entire class was invited. I wracked my brain trying to think of a costume but Adie came up with the best idea, Charlie Chaplin.

We raided her brother's closet and even found an old bamboo style Carney cane. When Addie dressed me, even I was convinced I looked like the "Little Tramp".

Friday the twenty ninth, was the day before the party and excitement had reached a fever pitch at school. Elmer's dad was offering a five dollar prize to the person with the best costume. 

When the bell rang at the end of the day, I was in great spirits until I got home. Something called a stock market had crashed and my folks were looking pretty glum. 

Saturday morning my mother told me that the Halloween party was cancelled, much to my dismay. She didn't tell me at the time but Elmer's dad shot himself in the head because he lost every penny they had in the crash. 

At first, life went on as usual but within a year, my father lost his job as did many others. Even Addie's family got knocked down a few pegs and struggled like the rest of us.

My mother took in wash to earn extra money and I delivered the finished bundles for tips. Addie's house was on my route and her mother always gave me a dime. 

"A whole ten cents," I would marvel staring at the shiny silver coin. 

But, I faithfully gave the money to my mother so she could buy bread or whatever to keep us going. 

The routine at Woodrow Wilson Grammar School was the same but the students wore shabbier clothes, beat up shoes and ate far less at lunch, some had nothing. 

Addie always shared her food with me. On the days when I had a decent amount, she helped a fellow classmate. The compassionate side of her personality endeared her to me. 

The grand holiday and birthday parties we all looked forward to with eager anticipation were scaled down dramatically and many ceased. 

Addie threw a St Valentine's Day party every year but the refreshment table was pared to a couple of sweets and punch. The once grand parlor filled with furniture and art work was now almost empty, save for a few chairs and a love seat. 

Dark outlines on the walls showed where a painting had been removed and probably sold to keep the family afloat. Party decorations were homemade and very modest. 

Addie and I remained good friends but my once abundant free time was at my mother disposal. She had various money making enterprises and I was at her mercy. 

On the occasional Saturday when I was freed from my mother's bondage, Addie and I walked to the Crown Theater to catch the matinee for the bargain price of ten cents. With the news reels, cartoons, a couple of two reelers and a feature, it lasted all afternoon. 

I loved the Our Gang comedies but when the Andy Hardy pictures with Mickey Rooney premiered, they became my favorite.

Addie always bought a five cent box of hard candy at the concession stand and shared it with me. Occasionally, we had enough spare change for a Hershey bar and savored the rich taste of the chocolate. 

Eventually, my father got a job through the WPA but the work projects were out west and he was rarely home. Once a month he wired money to my mother through Western Union. 

It was enough to pay the mortgage on the house and buy some groceries but none of us complained. At least we had a roof over our heads and food to eat when many were a lot worse off. 

On her thirteenth birthday, Addie received a bicycle from her parents. It was used of course and she let me ride it whenever I wanted. She was a daredevil at times and tried to do stunts like the circus performers who came to town. 

Addie was flying down Barren Hill Road trying to keep the bike straight while she balanced herself and brought her knees up to the seat. Slowly, she extended one leg but the front wheel jack knifed and she went tumbling over the handle bars. 

"Addie! Addie!" I yelled and ran up to where she lay in the dirt. 

When I reached her, Addie was smiling and on first glance uninjured.

"Did you see that?" she cackled with laughter. 

But when Addie tried to stand, she cried out in pain. With her arm around my shoulder, I helped her to the house. A trip to the hospital confirmed a hairline fracture of the ankle and meant she would miss at least two weeks of school.

Every afternoon when the bell rang I ran to Addie's house with her assignments and homework. As we wrote our lessons in a copy book, I would gaze with fascination at the way Addie's face was tilted to the side with a serious expression while her pencil moved effortlessly on the paper. 

Mrs. Wilburne always brought us cookies and milk for a snack. Addie had a graceful way of breaking the treat and eating the bits with her fingers that intrigued me.

Occasionally my mother would say to me at meal times,

"Madelyn, you eat like a field hand." 

Now I understood why. 

When Addie returned to school on crutches, I looked after her as though I was her guardian angel. 

No one was more appreciative than Addie. 

The afternoon she was finally free of the cast, I went to visit Addie. She was sitting cross legged on her bed studying but when she saw me, she smiled broadly and handed me a small box wrapped with a bow. 

"Thank you Madelyn, thanks for all your help the past six weeks," she said with gratitude in her voice. 

I was speechless and just stared at Addie.

"Are you going to open your gift?" she asked with kind curiosity.

I carefully opened my present and inside I found pencils, a fountain pen, hair ribbons and barrettes; a treasure trove in the Depression. It was better than Christmas Day at my house. 

"Gee Addie, why...I'm...you didn't have to...thanks a bunch," I stammered bashfully but my emotions got the better of me.

Seeing my teary eyes, Addie hugged me. 

In junior high school, the inexorable journey toward puberty overtook us. Addie developed first and it was a full year or better before it happened to me.

In fact, I was one of the last in my class. Lillian Barrett was by far the most mature looking. When I stood next to her, I felt like her kid sister. 

My lack of growth in certain areas was a cause for alarm with me. I had several panicky conversations with Addie who assured me that it would take place.

When it finally occurred, my skinny body was still skinny just curvier. My mother said I was slim but my small breasts were a big disappointment to me. 

The summer we were both fifteen, Addie's family went to Atlantic City for a few days and invited me. I had to beg my mother to buy me a bathing suit but it came from the second hand clothing store and didn't fit me properly.

Of course, Addie's fit her and she looked like the young bathing beauty in the billboard ads on the Boardwalk. She did her best to adjust and safety pin my suit until it looked acceptable. 

I was infatuated with Addie and stayed by her side. Under the shade of a beach umbrella, I stared at her creamy white skin, shiny brown hair cut in a bob style and bigger chest with envy but admiration too.

I remember my mother telling me Addie resembled Louise Brooks, a Ziegfeld Follies girl and actress in the roaring twenties. She found an old magazine and Addie looked a lot like her right down to the hair style. 

Our days on the beach were spent swimming in the surf and chattering about the life guards; who was the most handsome, who had the best body, who did we want to rescue us. 

I distinctly remember thinking that if I was drowning in the ocean, I wanted Addie to save me. 

Her older brother Parker took a shine to me and unexpectedly kissed me under the Boardwalk. Afterwards, I wiped my mouth and spat in the sand with disgust.

One evening, Addie's father took us to Childs Restaurant for dinner, a real treat. A huge roast encased in chains was hanging over a fire and dripped grease into a pan. I can still smell the overpowering aroma of charred meat drifting in the air.

I admitted to Addie that I was hungry for the roasted beef platter but it was far too much food for me. She insisted on ordering it and shared the adult size dinner with me. 

That was Addie, thoughtful and caring to a fault. 

Afterwards we went to the Million Dollar Pier and rode the roller coaster. I gazed at Addie next to me and her laughing face in the glow of the lights remained as one of my fondest memories.

We were walking back to the Chalfonte Hotel and Addie took my arm. 

"Did Parker try to kiss you," she asked with concern.

"Yes," I answered quietly.

"He told me he thought you were the cats' pajamas," she stated with a smile.

I could have cared less what Parker said. Right then and there, what Addie thought of me was all that mattered. 

On our last day, I got sunburned and went home miserable. Addie was sympathetic and tried to comfort me as we rode the train back to Pennsylvania Station. 

My mother was applying some lotion to my back when Addie made a rare appearance at my house. 

"My mother says this works the best on sunburn," she said politely and handed her a bottle.

As my mother spread some of the new concoction on my very red skin, Addie sat next to me and held my hand as the stinging pain slowly receded. 

I was overwhelmingly impressed by her kindness when she had every right to be angry with me. When we were on the beach that morning, I ignored her pleas to limit my time in the sun and sit with her under the umbrella.

It was the petulant part of my personality that I sometimes had trouble controlling. We went to the bath house to change for the journey home and my back, arms and chest were beet red. 

"You're a good friend to me," I said to Addie in a sorry voice and squeezed her hand for emphasis. 

Addie's sixteenth birthday party was only a couple of days away and I was in a flap about her gift. The stationers store in town had exquisite flowered note paper but it cost a dollar, a pricey sum during the Depression. 

I was positive that Addie would really like it and I begged/ borrowed some money from my sister Pauline. 

When Addie opened my gift, her face brightened with a look of joy.

"Madelyn, how thoughtful; I adore it!" she gushed and hugged me with gratitude. 

I purposely lingered until everyone left the party because I cherished the times we spent together, just the two of us 

As we organized the greeting cards and gifts, I admired the scent from a small bottle of eau de toilette. The colognes that I used were on my sisters' dresser and without her knowledge. Addie insisted that I take it but I refused. 

"I have plenty of perfumes," she countered and pressed it into my hand. 

"Thank you," I said tearfully with gratitude.

As we sat on the parlor floor, I looked at Addie and realized that she had matured into a lovely young woman. She was very popular at school and now that she was sixteen she was allowed to go on dates. I was thinking how that might affect our very close friendship. Unexpectedly, the boy's in my class asked me about as much as they asked Addie. At first, I found it annoying because I never considered myself attractive or pretty and complained to her. 

"Madelyn, look at yourself," she ordered as we stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom.

All I saw was a skinny girl with long dark blonde hair that I wanted to cut to a more fashionable style. 

"What am I looking for?" I asked in frustration with emphasis on the word "for".

"You don't see Jean Harlow in the reflection?" she questioned. 

Jean Harlow was a very pretty platinum blonde movie star of the 1930's. 

"No, Marie Dressler," I answered with sarcasm.

Addie belly laughed from my comment. Marie Dressler was a popular actress but she looked like a sour pussed old grandmother. 

"Anyway, your pretty, I'm not" I said and Addie stopped laughing.

"You think I'm pretty?" she asked with surprise.

"Sure, the prettiest girl in our class," I stated with conviction and meant it.

I wanted to tell Addie about her inner beauty but chickened out when her beautiful green eyes moistened with tears. 

"That's the nicest, sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me," she stated with emotion in her voice and hugged me.

Our last two years in high school were nothing short of memorable. Addie insisted that we keep our academic rivalry alive. We were in the top scholastic group and competition was fierce. 

Once I got over my trepidation about dating boys, I went out with them and usually double dated with Addie. If we really liked our dates, we weren't above some post date kissing and hand holding. But, that's as far as it went. After all, it was the 1930's and nice girls didn't...

My dream since childhood was to be a teacher but with my parents' financial situation, I had little chance of attending college. 

At the end of junior year, my high school counselor told me about a scholarship to the local teachers college that was being offered for the first time to a female candidate. 

An oral and written exam given by the college would determine the winner by the top score. With high hopes, I registered for the test. When I told Addie, she was overjoyed but insisted that I study with her.


The Best Years of My Life Ch. 02



The memory of the leeches clinging to our bodies was fresh in our minds as Addie rowed in search of a new spot to tie the boat.

Addie looked radiant in the bright sunlight and I closed my eyes thinking of her soft lips on mine.

"Was last night a dream?" I wondered silently because it had a dreamlike quality. 

Farther upstream near the old dam was a tranquil pool under a broad canopy of leaves. When I looked down into the russet color water, every so often, I saw the silhouette of a fish swim by. 

Addie's rich voice was quieter but more impassioned. 

"I love thee, as I love the calm
      Of sweet, star-lighted hours!
 I love thee, as I love the balm
      Of early jes'mine flow'rs.
 I love thee, as I love the last
       Rich smile of fading day.
 Which lingereth, like the look we cast,
       On rapture pass'd away.
 I love thee as I love the tone
       Of some soft-breathing flute
 Whose soul is wak'd for me alone,
        When all beside is mute."     

The words bore into my heart and I gazed at Addie with longing.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
 I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." 

With our desire for swimming severely curtailed, we spent longs hours in the rowboat. Addie recited the poetry in both volumes several times and I never tired of hearing her articulate the classic words of love.

After lunch, our afternoons were a happy conglomeration of chatter, bawdy stories, gossip and serious discussions about college/nursing school and being away from home for the first time.  

In the evenings, we impatiently waited for Aunt Violet to retire then dashed upstairs and fell into bed, naked and wanting. Addie had a passionate soul and kissed me until the wee hours after midnight.

One evening, Addie was lying on her back and I was up on one elbow admiring her body, running my fingers over her silky skin.  

"Umm," she moaned appreciatively as I traced lines over her sumptuous curves and lovingly tweaked her distended buds. 

A curious desire to explore Addie's sex had my digits stroking the insides of her thighs, moving ever closer until they parted the silky hair. Her breathing was quicker, more urgent.

As my fingers toyed with Addie's slick cleft, I sucked a bulbous pink nipple with pure delight until she squirmed and squealed from the pleasure.

No sooner had I finished, than Addie pounced on me and zealously nursed on my sensitive tips. Her fingers gracefully slid along my oily sex until that wonderful overpowering sensation seized my body. 

Nightly, I lay in Addie's loving embrace as she pressed her breasts into my back. With an arm over my side, she played with my bosom until a blaze ignited between my thighs. 

All too soon our mythic journey of discovery came to an end and Aunt Violet was driving us to the train station in Collegeville. She gave the two volume set of poetry books to Addie as a gift and me, two jars of her crabapple jelly.

I was thrilled with my present; it was the best damn jelly I ever ate and it lasted about one week on the breakfast table at my house.

The platform was deserted and as we waited for the afternoon express, I looked up at Addie's beautiful face and mouthed the words,

"I love you."  

The expression of tender passion in Addie's eyes was all I needed to see. 

At home, it was difficult adjusting to the nights without Addie and I sorely missed her amorous embraces and tender kisses. 

There were moments when I had doubts about her feelings for me but I soon found out there was little cause for alarm   

On a sweltering August afternoon, I was in Barnes Drugstore with Addie, thoroughly enjoying a refreshing ice cream soda at the fountain. The place was jammed with customers and not one seat was available. 

"Well, if it isn't the two prettiest girls from high school," a voice behind me declared.

Addie and I turned and saw Donald Cramer dressed in tennis whites, smiling broadly. After an exchange of hellos, I excused myself and went to the cosmetics counter. 

Donald and Addie dated a few times during senior year and I didn't want to appear like the third wheel in their conversation. As I watched them out of the corner of my eye, feelings of jealousy welled up inside me.

Addie was a vision of loveliness with her bobbed hair and Hollywood starlet looks. They chatted for a while and Donald left looking none too happy.

As I eyed the latest compacts from Paris, I sensed Addie's presence next to me. Without looking at her, I commented on Donald's almost sad face when they parted.

"Oh, he wants to take me to the Crown Theater on Saturday night but I told him I had a prior commitment," she stated in a matter of fact way.

My heart did somersaults.  

"She turned him down!" I silently rejoiced.

Donald Cramer was on every girls list in high school as the boy they most wanted to date. Heck, he was on my list too.  

Saturday night, I was at the Crown Theater with Addie and afterwards, I stayed overnight at her house. Since her mother and father weren't hard of hearing, we had to keep our vocalization to a minimum during our passion filled hugs, kisses and gropes.      

The rest of August was a blur as I prepared to venture from home for the first time. A list provided by the college of necessities and required items had my mother in a tizzy.

Money was a constant worry and challenge for my parents. My mother had to borrow some from my gainfully employed sister Pauline and never tired of telling me how grateful I should be.

In September, Addie was off to nursing school and my father drove me to the teacher's college. We wrote to each other almost daily. 

Adjusting to college life was difficult for me but I enjoyed my classes and professors. I was never as disciplined as Addie when it came to studying but I found it was a necessary evil on nights and weekends because of the fast pace.  

By the end of the month, I was lonely for Addie and my letters reflected my mood. In our correspondence, we discussed the need to see each other and agreed to meet every other Saturday at the nursing school. 

I was up and out of my room and on the trolley by nine am.      
The ride took about forty five minutes and dropped me right at the front entrance. 

Addie's smiling face greeted me and we hugged politely. We walked to her small room and when she closed her door, I fell into her arms and kissed her.   

"My darling, I'm so happy to see you," she cried with emotion.

I couldn't answer because I was bawling tears of elation. We embraced and kissed passionately for awhile but I had brought my books and Addie insisted that I study or she was going to kick me out. The last part she said with humor. 

With Addie at her desk and me on the bed we diligently applied ourselves until lunch. She gave me a short tour of the campus and we ate in the dining hall. 

Around four we knocked off for the day. At Addie's request I brought a few overnight essentials and she explained that visiting hours ended at ten pm but that was mainly for any men in the dorm. 

Addie had checked with the dorm mother who was perfectly ok with female friends spending a night on the weekend. I was delirious with joy. 

After a quick bite , we caught a movie in the school auditorium. When we returned to her room, I stripped and jumped naked into her bed, giggling like school girl.

Addie lay on top of me, kissing me with fevered passion. She extended her arms and I fondled her beautiful breasts until the nipples swelled and hardened. My lips encircled a protruding bud and I sucked contentedly. 

Addie kept quiet but her face was alive with an ecstatic look and she thumped her sex on my leg furiously until she quivered and quaked.   

In the quietness of the room, I got up enough nerve to ask Addie something.

"If a girl sometimes uses her mouth on a boy, do you think a girl could use her…on…" I stuttered nervously. 

Addie was looking at me with a serious expression of curiosity. 

"I don't know but I'd like to find out," she murmured quietly.

 Addie was moving down my body and her face was over my sex before I had a chance to protest.

"I wanted to be first," I whined in a soft voice.

But, Addie was already pushing my legs apart and I could feel her breath on my damp flesh. Her lips gently grazed the sensitive lips and my griping promptly stopped. 

Addie continually ran her lips over my throbbing sex, nibbling the moist skin until I felt her tongue lazily lick up the middle of my slippery cleft. 

I almost cried out but stopped myself by biting my finger because it felt so incredibly good. 

As Addie's licks intensified, so did the rush of feelings inside my sex. That familiar and wondrous sensation grew until it burst throughout my body with intensity. Gasps and moans inadvertently escaped my mouth and I prayed no one heard me.  

Bathed in sweat and trembling, I clung to Addie until I calmed down. When she kissed me, the odor from my cleft on her mouth intrigued me. Instead of being repulsed, I found it very appealing.

Eager to do the same for Addie, I impatiently pushed her on her back. She opened her creamy white thighs and I mouthed her downy covered mound wantonly. 

My lips grazed Addie's wet inviting labia with delight. Gradually, I worked my tongue deeper into her slippery crease and some wetness seeped into my mouth. The flavor excited me and I licked her opening and swollen pearl more   intently.

Addie groaned and pressed her oozing flesh against my lips. Her rhythmic hip flexes kept pace with my fluttering tongue as more and more of her moisture entered my mouth. 

Addie's movements intensified and I feverishly licked until her body went rigid then flailed wildly. Years later I learned that orgasm was the proper term.


For two years, we saw each other on alternate Saturdays and Sundays. During holidays and summer breaks, we were almost always in each others company with an occasional overnight stay at Addie's house for intimacy. 

When Addie graduated from nursing school, she was offered employment at Saint Agnes Hospital only a block away. With her father's help, she found a small efficiency apartment. 

At Addie's graduation ceremony, she looked wonderful in her starched white uniform and cap. I had a knack for buying her the appropriate gift befitting the occasion and scraped enough money together for a Ladies Waltham wrist watch. 

Along with her new job, Addie volunteered at the hospital clinic. She genuinely cared about helping people and worked three nights a week. 

I still had another two years left at the teachers college but I quickly became a weekend fixture at her new apartment. 

One week, my English Literature assignment was to read "A Tale of Two Cities" and write a report relating the themes in the book to the times that we lived in. 

It was my least favorite college subject probably because Professor Brant was as dry and bland as some of the course material. 

By Saturday night I finished the book and was moved by the amazing story of love and sacrifice. I discussed the book with Addie who seemed to have a lot more insight into the central message than I. 

"The first line is a reflection of the times we live in," Addie said wisely and read it aloud.

"It was the best of times and the worst of times…"

After Addie graduated in 1939, Germany invaded Poland and less than a quarter century after the conclusion of the War to end all Wars, Europe was embroiled in another conflict. With the icy poverty of the Depression years just starting to thaw, it was easy to understand how it was the worst of times.   

Yet, it was a great time to be alive. In spite of the cultural taboos that we faced, Addie and I were young and in love with our whole lives in front of us. My childhood dream to be a teacher would become a reality and I couldn't have been any happier.

Thanks to Addie, my paper scored the highest in the class. 

When I graduated in May of 1941, I was overjoyed and tearfully accepted my diploma.   

 I wrote to the principal at Woodrow Wilson Grammar School inquiring if there were any staff openings. He replied that the second grade was expanding and a position was available. The next week I interviewed and was hired on the spot.

 Words cannot fully describe the cherished years of bliss that I shared with Addie. I don't believe we had one argument or disagreement and were completely in tune with one another. 

But, sometimes world events have a way of intruding into peoples lives. Alone in their fight against the Axis, the early years of the War were devastating for the British. Nightly bombings turned many parts of London and other major cities into fiery rubble.  

Edward R. Morrow described the dreadful attacks in graphic detail on his radio broadcasts from London during the Blitz.  

But, our heroic brethren across the sea fought valiantly and to paraphrase Winston Churchill,

"…it was their finest hour…"

We listened to pleas for aid to the British Isles from the President Roosevelt, his wife and many politicians. The beleaguered Brits were in desperate need of everything including medical supplies, doctors and nurses. 

The International Red Cross was sponsoring a drive for volunteers in our town the following month and Addie expressed her desire to sign up and go to England.   
  
"Addie, please don't go," I begged forlornly.

It was the type of situation in life that arises and a person knows intuitively that nothing good will result from it. 

"They need our help. I'm a trained nurse. How can I refuse them?" she stated with a logic that was hard to refute. 

"But, it's so dangerous. You could be killed in one of the bombings," I pleaded.  

 Even the journey to England by ship was fraught with danger from German U Boats.     

"Doesn't my love mean anything to you," I cried despairingly.

"It means everything to me," she said tenderly and held me in her arms. 

In a way, I knew it was useless arguing. The charitable side of her personality exerted a powerful influence over her. 

"I'll go with you, I'll volunteer," I stated with desperation.

Addie pulled back a little and regarded me with an adoring look on her smiling face.

"You love me that much?" she asked with affection.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I looked at her and nodded my head. Addie pulled me close and held me snug against her.

"I would do anything to be with you," I bawled.

"My darling, you worked so hard to be a teacher. You can't give that up now," she stated.

Addie was right. It made little sense to sign up when I had no medical training.

"America needs you here, teaching the next generation of young minds," she said soothingly, rubbing my arms and back. 

How could I argue? Addie had a maturity level that easily surpassed mine; coupled with a high minded sense of duty to her country, I had little room for argument. Asking her to stay behind for my sake seemed incredibly selfish at the time.


Addie was committed to helping the unfortunate souls in Britain and volunteered with the Red Cross. Her decision put a strain on our relationship and often I was moody and withdrawn. 

A month later the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor and America was in the war. Many Americans heeded the call to arms and enlisted in the Armed Services. 

December of 1941 was hectic time for me at school and my second grade class was in high spirits about the holiday. They were simply too young to understand the magnitude of the world events that weighed so heavily on adults. For that, I was glad because I loved seeing the joy and anticipation in their bright eyes. 

As the new teacher on the block, I was "volunteered" to organize and coordinate the annual Christmas pageant and concert. It took mind numbing amounts of preparation and except for a couple of Saturdays', my time with Addie was limited. 

Every year since fourth grade, I visited the Wilburne's on Christmas Day. With one of my mother's homemade fruit cakes tucked under one arm and a gift for Addie in the other, I rang the doorbell with my nose.  

 Sadly, my last visit to the Wiburne's palatial home was Christmas Day of 1941 and it was a muted almost somber holiday that year.    

Parker and my brother Philip had enlisted in the Army on December 8th and were already at boot camp. The day after New Years, Addie would report to the Red Cross headquarters for war time training and it just added to the solemn mood. 

In spite of the fact that it was Christmas, I was feeling hurt angry and rejected by Addie's decision to go to England. 

"Obviously I don't matter very much to her," I stupidly thought to myself. 

It was just like me to wallow in self pity and forget about Addie's unquestioning love and devotion in my life. 

When Mr. and Mrs. Wilburne left to view the live nativity scene at the church before the blackout at six pm, Addie and I sat quietly in the parlor and exchanged presents

The uncomfortable silence was broken by Addie.     

 "Would you like some eggnog?" she asked very kindly.

I was going to say no but thought why not, might as well get drunk and have some fun. Mr. Wilburne's reputation for making the exceptional holiday beverage was the stuff of legends. 

"Yes, I would," I said very coldly.

I drank two glasses in row very quickly and asked for another.

"Madelyn, don't you think you've had enough? I don't want you to get sick," she said with concern. 

All my negative feelings roared up from inside me.

"All of a sudden you care about me? That's a laugh. Did you care about me when you volunteered? I don't think so!" I bellowed indignantly.

Addie was clearly hurt and tears filled her eyes.

"That's not fair Madelyn, I do care about you, very much," She said with rare acrimony in her voice and turned her back to me. 

My anger vanished and was replaced with utter remorse. I went to Addie and put my hands on her shoulders but she shrugged them off. My heart sank to my knees.

"Addie, please forgive me," I begged and started weeping. 

Addie slowly turned and looked at me with an expression of unconditional forgiveness.

"It's just…the thought of you…and… what will I do without you…" I was bawling and not making much sense when she put her arms around me. 

"I'm sorry Addie, I'm so sorry," I wailed in her embrace.

"My darling, I forgive you, ever and always," she said sweetly and held me close.

My nose was running and while Addie searched for a fresh hanky, I sat on the love seat with my head down in shame.

"I love you," I said in a sorrowful voice as I clung to her.

"I know you do my darling," she whispered in my ear with heartfelt tenderness.

With my head on Addie's shoulder, I looked around the room in my field of vision and started chuckling. I was recalling some funny events that occurred in the parlor. 

"Do you remember when Elmer Ross threw up on the carpet during the Valentine's party in sixth grade," I said humorously and pointed to the spot I remembered. 

Addie smiled and laughed in recognition and for the next couple of hours we regaled each other with happy remembrances of the grand times that we shared in her home. 

It amazed me but I always felt welcome there and was treated like one of the family. There were occasions when I spent more time with the Wilburne's than my own kin. 

Addie insisted that I stay for Christmas dinner and the good humor that we created in the parlor, carried over to the dining room.




The Best Years of My Life Ch. 02



After a delicious meal, we listened to carols on the radio in the parlor as Addie's mother served her traditional Yule log for desert.   

When the mantle clock struck eleven, I said my goodbyes with a heavy heart. I followed Addie to her bedroom to retrieve my coat and we tenderly kissed for a few minutes.

"Addie, I'm…" I started to say but she placed her finger against my lips and held me tight to her body. 

The sense of peace and security that I felt in her tender embrace was matchless and I found it with no one else. 

As I traversed the front walk, I turned and looked at that splendid manse that housed my fondest memories. Tears escaped my eyes because deep inside, I knew that the war would change our lives and nothing would be the same again. 

Addie reported to the Red Cross in January 1942 and when she returned, I learned that she was shipping out in less than a month. My heart sank in despair.  

My students saw that I was on edge most of the time.  Inadvertently, I snapped at a boy in my class over his inability to understand a math problem.

"I'm sorry Miss Collins," he said with tears in his eyes. 

I immediately reproached myself for my awful behavior.

"I'm sorry too Joshua," I said with remorse and hugged the poor child. 

My journeys to and from Addie's apartment on the trolley were fraught with anxiety. The time we spent together seemed to fly by.    

 Our lovemaking was passionate, needy and filled with desire. I clung to Addie with desperation but the mere thought of her leaving and the tears would come. 

My heart ached most of the time but Addie's soothing words of endearment and hugs would calm me. 

 Saturday, the day before Addie's departure, I kept up a brave front, helping her pack and assisting with any last minute details. 

We laughed and talked with the ease that typified our relationship. But, it was pointless trying to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

"Addie, do you remember the summer we went to visit your Aunt Violet at the cottage?" I asked in a sad voice as she held me on the sofa.

"Of course I do, why?" she asked sweetly. 

My eyes were brimming with tears yet again, 

"Sometimes, I think it was all just a dream," I lamented.

"It was no dream, my darling, it was very real," she said with affirmation.

I closed my eyes and saw the sunlight splashed on Addie's beautiful face as she recited my favorite poem. It was our last day with Aunt Violet.

"Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
 Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for
 thee;
 Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
 Lull'd by the moonlight have all passed away!" 

My heart was afire with love for Addie and carefully I sat next her in that decrepit old rowboat and kissed her in broad daylight in the middle of the Perkiomen River not caring who saw us. 

The inescapable fact that Addie was leaving returned to my psyche and disturbed my reverie. But, I gathered all my strength and stopped crying. 

 "Why does love have to hurt?" I asked sorrowfully and looked up into her lovely green eyes.

Addie gazed at me with an adoring expression that bore into my soul. She held me close and gently pecked my forehead and cheeks a few times with a fiery look in her eyes. We kissed with incredible desire as the give and take of tongues exploring mouths inflamed my craving for her.

Addie carried me to her bed and we made love with intensity and passion that burned until the gray skies of dawn heralded a new day.

Sunday morning, we ate breakfast in total silence. No matter how much I tried to rationalize my feelings, a part of me was angry with Addie and yet another part was very proud.

As we sat at the kitchen table with long faces, I looked at the clock and realized that a taxi was due to pick her up in a few minutes. I lost control and sobbed out loud. 

Addie came to me with open arms and I collapsed in her embrace. 

"Why, why do you have to go?" I cried despondently.

"My darling, please don't cry," she pleaded in a shaky voice.

But, my heart was breaking and I was inconsolable.

"I love you," she said with deep affection

I stubbornly refused to return the sentiment.

"I know you're angry with me but try to understand," she pleaded tearfully.

I was unmoved but Addie was right, I was mad.

"Please tell me you love me?" she asked with gentleness and held me tight against her body.

My obstinate heart melted.

"I love you," I cried with emotion.

Addie kissed me with tenderness and passion. 

For a brief moment, I had the feeling that we were standing in the garage on River Road, soaked from the storm and kissing for the first time.

The taxi honked its arrival.

"I will miss you so," I bawled forlornly.

"Goodbye, my darling, my love" she said in that sweet gentle voice that I had grown so fond of.

The taxi was honking with impatience and we kissed for the last time.

Addie strolled down the walkway with her suitcase and when she reached the taxi door, turned and waved. Her beautiful smiling face, lit by the morning sun was the last thing I saw. She was only twenty two years old. 

When the taxi pulled away, I stood looking out the window for a long time. Finally, I understood that Addie had the courage of her convictions to do something with her life and not play it safe and stay home. That her decision to volunteer wasn't a rejection of me but an affirmation of the love we had for each other.  

If Addie had stayed with me, the societal challenges that we faced for a happy life together were extreme and probably insurmountable but I would have given my all to try and make it work.  
     
After I locked Addie's apartment, I sat waiting for the trolley on the boulevard in a state of shock. The day I dreaded for the last three months had arrived and a desolate sense of loneliness gripped me. 

In the days that followed, I tried to deny my feelings of foreboding but deep in my soul I knew that I would never see Addie again. 
    
Addie's ship left as part of a convoy for Britain and I heard nothing for three weeks.  

I was hanging wash on the clothes line at my mothers when I saw Parker drive down the alleyway. I ran to the car for news about Addie but Parker's face looked bleak and his cheeks were streaked with tears. He parked in the space in front of the garage and told me the terrible news.

Somewhere in mid ocean, a German submarine wolf pack attacked the convoy. Twenty two out of sixty ships were lost. Addie's ship was torpedoed and sank in less than five minutes according to eye witness accounts. No survivors were reported.  

Parker loved his sister and wept like a child. After he drove away I broke down and sobbed with heart breaking sorrow. 

For a year, I grieved for Addie but secretly hoped that she was rescued and would walk through the front door of my parents home, hale and hearty. But, in the back of my mind I knew it was hopeless. 

In church, I prayed to God asking why he had to take Addie so early in life but, He was mute.   

Addie's father had a small grave marker placed on the family plot at the cemetery and somehow it signaled an end to any shred of hope that I had for her safe return. It read simply:

Adelaide Emily Wilburne
         1919-1942 
     Beloved Daughter    
      
Everyday after school, I visited the cemetery and wept with abandon as I stood before the little headstone. I grieved alone. None of my family or friends had any idea nor would they understand the love and devotion we had for each other. 

For awhile, I avoided going downtown as much as possible because too many memories were attached to places there. I hid a photo scrapbook of Addie with her letters in my bedroom closet because I couldn't bear to look at them.

When I arrived home from teaching one afternoon, my mother handed me a large heavy brown envelope with a local attorney's return address. 

Inside was a cover letter explaining that a sealed document and personal items were to be given to me at the time of Addie's death. Because she was lost at sea, it was deemed that an appropriate amount of time had passed and the envelope was forwarded per Addie's instructions. 

Carefully I broke the wax seal and opened the document. It was dated two days before she left for England.

My Dearest Madelyn,
If you are reading this it can only mean one thing; that I perished in England. I hope you can forgive me but Mrs. Roosevelt's speeches urging all American's to do their part lit a fire inside of me. I responded in the only way I know how and rose to the call for action. 

I firmly believe that I can make a difference in Britain and hopefully, I have. I can't explain to you why I feel compelled to help my fellow human beings because I'm not certain I know the answer. 

But, I am certain of my love for you. From the time I was a little girl, I had romantic notions of finding my one true love. To my surprise, it turned out to be you. This I know to the very depths of my soul.           

My darling, you can be impetuous, caring, feisty and passionate but above all I know that you love me.

Try to think about the happy times that we shared and not grieve too much. I regret that I can't be there with you but please know that you've made me so very happy these past few years.  

I leave you the two volume set of love sonnets and poems because I know that you cherish them as much as I do. All the love that I have for you and you for me is bound together by the beauty of that wondrous poetry.  

Do you remember "A Tale of Two Cities" and the sacrifice that the hero Sydney Carton made to help his fellow man?

The first sentence of the story reads:

"It was the best of times and the worst of times…" 

 And the line from the last page:

"…it is to a far, far better place that I go…"     
 
Need I say more?  

We will meet again my darling in a far, far better place. 

I love you with all my heart and soul,
Addie 

At the bottom of the brown envelope I found the two, pocket sized leather bound volumes wrapped in flowered paper. The same books that Addie's Aunt Violet gave her as a present during those two heavenly weeks on the Perkiomen River. 

The next morning I used my father's last gas ration coupon and drove to the little cottage on River Road. Aunt Violet died in 1939 but the tidy summer home was still there, shuttered for the winter months. Solemnly, I walked down the stairs to the boat dock with the books in hand. 

I sat on the cold wood gazing at the bare trees that lined the river banks and heard the sound of distant voices filled with joy and laughter. My heart ached with sorrow as I recalled that magical time when I knew with every fiber of my being that I was in love with Addie. 

With the winter sun warming my face, I read aloud the poems that Addie was very fond of:

"Come to me in my dreams, and then
 By day I shall be well again.
 For then the night will more than pay
 The hopeless longing of the day."  

I paused for a moment as tears ran down my cheeks then started on another. 

"Drink to me, only with thine eyes
 And I will pledge with mine
 Or leave a kiss but in the cup 
 And I'll not look for wine."

I read for hours and sometimes with gut wrenching emotion. 

In the failing light of the afternoon sun, I stood to leave and looked for the last time at the slow moving auburn water and the stately trees. 

In the solitude of my surroundings, I heard Addie's resonate voice reciting a sad poem and wept in remembrance.

"When we two parted
 In silence and tears,
 Half broken-hearted
 To sever the years,
 Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
 Colder, thy kiss;
 Truly that hour foretold
 Sorrow to this."   

Addie was absent from my life and the awful finality weighed heavily on my soul. 

I ascended the stairs crying my heart out and never returned to that idyllic spot on the Perkiomen River.

The World conflict touched upon the lives of everyone. My precious Addie never made it to England to help those in need. Many lost loved ones both men and women who sacrificed their lives for the greater good. 

My brother Philip, a medic in the Army, was killed in action at Anzio in Italy. Under intense enemy fire, he gave his life trying to rescue his company lieutenant and was posthumously awarded a medal for bravery. 

Parker Wilburne, a decorated tank commander, was killed in action on Christmas Eve 1944 during the Battle of the Bulge.

My classmates, Elmer Ross, Donald Cramer and Lillian Barrett gave their lives in service to their country. I mourned for them all.    

 I volunteered at the USO and every Saturday and Sunday, I served refreshments to GI's. That's where I met my future husband, Ted. 

When the war ended, we purchased a marriage license and were married at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church. 

I guess the real surprise for me was the love and affection we had for one another. Ted was a good husband and father until he died from lung cancer. Unfortunately, he had picked up the cigarette habit in the Army.

Memories of Addie stayed close to the surface of my mind. Why my dear friend was my first and true love, I was at a loss to comprehend. I searched my soul for the answer but it evaded me.  

"It was meant to be," Addie would say in our private moments together and that I believed with all my heart. 

I realized that on the merry go round of love the fortunate few get to grab the brass ring when most never get to grasp it at all	

At some point, I stopped grieving for what I lost and happily remembered not only the wonderful years of intimacy but the extraordinary times that I shared with Addie growing to adulthood as the closest of friends. 

In my minds eye, I saw Addie and me playing tag in her back yard, laughing at a silly joke we heard, singing in the chorus at school, sharing our most personal thoughts with each other, learning the latest dance craze steps in her parlor and splashing in the surf in Atlantic City. The list of treasured memories seemed to be endless. 

They were the best years of my life, never to be duplicated again. 

The tenderness and depth of feeling that I shared with Addie, eluded me with Ted. Yes, I loved him but it was a faint glow in comparison to the incandescent fire with Addie. 

 Over time, the memories faded and receded into the recesses of my mind but never the love in my heart for Addie. It was unquenchable, sturdy and alive. 

For many years, I was under the impression that no one in my family knew about Addie and me or so I thought until I got a distressing phone call on November 22nd 1963 from my sister Pauline's husband.

I remember the date specifically because it was the day President Kennedy was shot in Dallas Texas.

Wendell's voice was shaky and I immediately knew that something was seriously wrong.

"Madelyn, I'm sorry to bother you on such a tragic day but Pauline's in the hospital and the prognosis is not good. I was hoping you could come tomorrow to see her," He said sadly. 

No sooner had I hung up the phone and I was packing a bag and writing detailed instructions for Ted and Beverly. The following morning before daybreak I was in the car and on the Pennsylvania Turnpike heading west towards Pittsburgh. 

When I arrived at Pauline's hospital it was late morning and Wendell was in the waiting room. I asked what happened and his face was grim and pale.

"Pauline had a heart attack yesterday morning at work. She's very weak and the doctors' say it's a matter of days," he said with a distraught look. 

I walked with Wendell to her room in the intensive care unit and saw wires and tubes running everywhere. 

Pauline appeared to be sleeping when I stood next to her and took her hand in mine. Her eyes opened and she looked at me without recognition for a second.

"Madelyn," she said softly and her face beamed with a smile.       

 Pauline and I were not very close as some sisters tend to be but there was a genuine love and affection for each other. She moved to Pittsburgh while I was in college to marry Wendell. We were the only surviving members of our immediate family.        

"Pauli, how are you feeling?" I asked gently with wet eyes. 

Pauli was the pet name I called her from the time I was very young. 

"Terrible, goddamn doctors' don't know anything," she whispered in disgust. 

Pauline hated physicians for as long as I could remember.

"Bunch of lame brained quacks if you ask me," she grumbled. 

Two nurses and an orderly came to take Pauline for some tests and I sat with Wendell in her room. I was thinking about our childhood when suddenly it dawned on me; she had Scarlet Fever as a child and it damaged her heart. 

The nurse on duty advised Wendell that Pauline would be gone for tests most of the day.

 The following morning I arrived to find her sitting up and awake.

"My Witch doctor said I was showing some improvement," she said with sarcasm.  

We reminisced about our childhood and talked about everyone that we knew but I purposely avoided talking about the Wilburne's and Addie. 

  I could tell that Pauline enjoyed my company and I helped her with her liquid lunch when it arrived. Afterwards, she was gazing at me with a serious but inquisitive look.

"Why haven't you mentioned her?" she asked quietly.

"Who?" I answered knowing exactly the person she was referring to.  

"Don't play games with me Madelyn," she said in a slightly roused tone of voice and patted the mattress next to her for me to sit closer. 

Pauline took my hand in hers and the unavoidable tears came to my eyes. 

"You really loved Addie, quite a lot I gather," she stated with certainty looking into my watery eyes.

I was thoroughly surprised that Pauline knew how I felt about Addie but, there was no sense denying it now.

"How did you know Pauli?" I asked like a child.

"I could tell by the look in your eyes when you were with her, probably more so after you graduated high school," she said weakly.

"She was my one true love," I blubbered with my chin on my chest. 

It was the first time I had ever discussed or admitted my feelings about Addie with anyone in my family. 

Pauline was patting my hand in sympathy.

"At least you found someone that you truly loved. I wish I could say the same." she said with quiet melancholy. 

I stared in disbelief at Pauline.

"Oh, I loved Wendell in the very beginning but it didn't last long. He still loves me though, I can see it in his face," she stated in a whispering voice and her eyes looked heavy.

"I hate to admit it but I had a big crush on Parker Wilburne," she confessed in a low tone with her eyes closed.

Another shocking revelation but just when I thought Pauline was asleep, she opened her eyes and looked at me with a sorrowful expression. 

"You know, Madelyn, I think Mr. Wilburne died from a broken heart. He adored Parker and Addie. I think their deaths were just too much for him," she said mournfully with a deep sigh.

Pauline was panting in short raspy breaths.

"Gotta rest now," she informed me in a barely audible voice. 

I sat next to my sister, holding her hand while she slept. Addie's father died in 1946 from a heart attack but I think Pauline was right. 

Pauline never woke up or spoke again and she slowly slipped away. Wendell got the call from the hospital around four am and I remembered what Addie told me when she worked at Saint Agnes Hospital.

Many terminal patients died in the early morning hours when it's quiet and they feel more at ease about letting go.  




The Best Years of My Life Ch. 02



Not long after Pauline's funeral, I was sitting in my kitchen preparing lesson plans for the next day when I remembered the numerous times I borrowed money from her to buy Addie a birthday gift, Christmas present or whatever the occasion called for. 

It was Pauline's generosity that allowed me to start college in the proper fashion when she was denied the same dream. Times were tough during the Depression and money was scarce but she never refused my pleading and anxious requests.

A veil of tears covered my eyes as I realized that I owed a debt of gratitude to Pauline for her selflessness.   
   

Like many towns in America, mine changed as time passed until it was almost unrecognizable.    
 
 The once proud and majestic Wilburne house was turned into apartments and eventually demolished in the name of progress. A Walgreen's occupies the space now; in fact an entire block no longer exists for the sake of a strip mall. 

The same thing happened to Woodrow Wilson Grammar School, an Acme Supermarket claims the same real estate. At least my old high school was converted to a neighborhood community center. 

Downtown is a mere shadow of what it once was. The Crown Theater, the premier movie house of the 1930's and 40's, fell to the wreckers ball and a McDonald's fast food restaurant sits atop the ashes. 

 The stationers shop closed up long ago, victim to the mall that was built on the edge of town. The sidewalks that were choked with people and shoppers from Monday to Saturday are pretty much deserted except for the homeless and panhandlers. 

The thriving textile and cigar factories moved south after the war because labor was much cheaper. Most of the buildings that weren't torn down were converted to apartments with shops and restaurants. 

The trolley car lines that criss-crossed the county gave way to belching diesel busses. A poor substitute for a gentler/cleaner means of transportation.    

Only a few buildings that existed in my youth still stand. 

Barnes Drug Store occupies the same corner with the same marquee but the inside looks completely different. The fountain that dispensed ice cream sodas for ten cents is now just a memory. 

My career as a teacher lasted until mandatory retirement at age sixty five. I derived a tremendous amount of satisfaction from my job and volunteered as an aide at the school. I dearly loved seeing the smiling faces of the students and accepted the occasional hug with supreme gratitude. 
  
My once slender body thickened, drooped and sagged with sparse gray hair on my head and deep set wrinkles lining my face and hands. Sometimes when I looked in the mirror, I failed to recognize the reflected image.

"That's not me," I would silently think with dismay and remember the girl with the hand me down dress at Addie's St Valentine's Day party in fourth grade.

Now, I'm a very old woman who is slowly dying in the last room that she will occupy on God's earth. 

 The nurses come every four hours like clockwork with pills designed to treat the myriad of aches, pains and ills that besiege the elderly. 

Except for my weekly visit from Beverly, all I have for company are the precious memories from my youth.

 The two volumes of love poetry, the photo scrapbook of Addie and all her letters including her last before she left for England are safely tucked away in a safe deposit box. Beverly will decide what happens to them.

I have been living for a long time, much longer than I suspected that I would be. I honestly thought that Ted's second hand smoke would poison me with cancer or some other terminal disease. 

As much as I believe in God, I think He played a cruel joke on me by taking the one person I truly loved at a very young age; then letting me live until I was sickly and bedridden.          

Some days I pray for death to come and take me. I think about the people that I loved and made the journey before me. In my mind, I see their faces but when Addie appears, I smile the widest and my heart fills with joy. 

When my time comes to leave this mortal coil, I know in my soul that I will meet Addie again in a far, far better place.  

Literary Credits:

"I Love Thee" Eliza Acton

"Sonnets from the Portuguese, 43", 
  Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"Beautiful Dreamer" Stephen Foster

"Longing" Matthew Arnold

"Song: To Celia" Ben Johnson

"When We Two Parted" Lord Byron 

"A Tale of Two Cities" Charles Dickens



The Best Years of My Life



In the heat of the summer, I reviewed all the text books from junior year with Addie. She was relentless and made me study till I complained.

"My brain hurts Addie," I would whine with a pinched face.

"It won't hurt when you win the scholarship," she said with enthusiasm.

That was Addie, always the cheerleader, always full of encouragement. 

All of senior year, Addie hounded me about studying for the scholarship exam. As a result, I had my best year academically and finished with honors. 

The exam was at the beginning of May and I crammed on weekends and after school. But, when I heard that Lillian Barrett was taking it also, I lost my drive to study. She was a shoe in for Valedictorian of the senior class. 

"I can't beat her," I said crestfallen but Addie was having none of my defeatist attitude.

"Is that carved in stone?" she asked with an uncharacteristic harsh voice.

I gave her a snide look. 

"I never thought you were a quitter but I guess I was wrong," she said with a huge sigh and gave me a look of bitter disappointment.

"Quitter? Not me! Why I'll give Lillian a run for her money that..." I said fiercely but Addie was grinning from ear to ear at me. 

Addie instinctively knew what buttons to push to get a rise out of me and it worked. I went back to studying like a girl possessed with Addie by my side. 

Addie was committed to nursing as her field of endeavor and she volunteered for any community project at school with a humanitarian or medical focus.

When Addie told me she was accepted to the nursing school only a few miles from the teachers college, I doubled my study efforts. 

The scholarship exam was exceedingly hard but I was well prepared. The oral part was held in front of three professors and lasted over an hour. Although I knew I did well, I still had my doubts. 

With only a week until graduation, I was on pins and needles waiting for notification from the scholarship committee. Everyday I checked the mailbox as soon as I saw the postman walk down the street. 

Graduation day arrived and Donald Cramer, our senior class president, invited the entire graduating class to his house for a party after the ceremony. 

Earlier that day, I finally received a letter from the teachers college congratulating me on winning the scholarship. My mother was very proud of me and rushed out to buy me a new dress for the celebration. I was on cloud nine. 

Just as I predicted, Lillian Barrett was the class Valedictorian. Addie finished with high honors and won the Humanitarian Award. No surprise there. 

As soon as I arrived at the party, I told Addie the good news and she was ecstatic. 

"Madelyn, that's wonderful! I knew you could do it," she crowed happily and hugged me.

"I'm only a trolley ride away," I stated with excitement referencing the short distance to her nursing school. 

Abruptly, I realized it was Addie with her determination, selflessness and unflagging support that made it all possible. I took her hands in mine and looked into her lovely green eyes. 

"I owe it all to you," I said blubbering unable to hold back my emotions and embraced her.

"Madelyn, that's very sweet but I didn't take the scholarship test; you did," she said with kindness.

I knew Addie was deflecting the praise that she so richly deserved but there was no doubt in my mind that her influence changed the tapestry of my life. 

"No Addie, I'm eternally grateful and indebted to you. I couldn't have done it without you," I stated with raw feeling and tears fell from my eyes.

Addie was regarding me with misting eyes and held me close in a tender embrace. I loved her as a friend but something new was beating in my heart.

The celebration was in full swing and I danced the Charleston with a smiling exuberant Addie on the expansive porch. With loud music blaring from a phonograph, we danced every variation of the Charleston and Fox Trot that we knew until the festivities ended at midnight.

As we walked arm and arm to Addie's house, I was overcome with feelings for my best friend and rested my head on her shoulder. An extraordinary day in my life was coming to a close and I hated to see it end. 

Without the teachers college scholarship, I would have looked for work at one of the textile or cigar mills along the river or a secretarial job downtown. A dismal way of earning a living that held little prospect for a bright future. 

A month later, our eighteenth birthdays were history, officially marking our entrance to adulthood. 

I was sitting in the back seat of an old Ford runabout quiet as a church mouse while Addie's father tried to teach her how to drive. 

Addie was having problems with the clutch and was grinding the gears something awful. 

"No, push in the clutch before you try to shift," her father stated with exasperation. 

After twenty minutes of frustration, Addie's normally very patient father shut off the car and went into the house. Addie and I sat in the dusty automobile and laughed with amusement. It was one of those unforgettable moments that stuck with me. 

I moved up to the front seat with Addie and she was looking at me rather curiously. I wondered if she was experiencing similar new feelings for me. 

Since graduation, we had become inseparable and talked endlessly about college and nursing school. Sometimes, I had to pinch myself to make sure I was awake and not dreaming that I was actually attending college in the fall. 

"Madelyn, I have a favor to ask," she said with a smile.

"Anything," I said eagerly.

"My Great Aunt Violet has invited me to spend a couple of weeks with her at the summer cottage on the Perkiomen River," she said wistfully.

I could tell that Addie wasn't looking forward to her visit.

"I'm permitted to bring a friend with me and...I...think of you as my dearest friend," she stated shyly.

Not only was I Addie's best friend, I was the dearest. My heart fluttered like a butterfly in flight.

As I gazed into Addie's pretty green eyes, my heart was beating faster with an emotion that I was too scared to admit to myself. I was experiencing romantic feelings for my dearest friend. 

"Of course I'll go with you," I said eagerly.

"I want to warn you ahead of time, it can be incredibly dull. No radio, no indoor plumbing, no electricity and plenty of hungry mosquitos. We'll have to sneak out to the movie house and it's a good three mile walk," she stated with caution.

The cottage could have been on the Moon, I wanted to be with Addie.

On a hot July afternoon, we took the train to Collegeville and her aunt was there to greet us. We drove down River Road in an old noisy Pierce Arrow and I was enchanted by the surroundings. The river was to our right and the banks were shaded by majestic trees.

However, when we arrived at the cottage, I remembered Addie had forewarned me. The rooms were lit by oil lamp and the outhouse was near the river. 

The bottom floor was simply laid out with a parlor, bedroom, small dining room and tiny kitchen with a wood stove and pump. 

The upstairs consisted of a sole bedroom with dormered windows on opposite sides for ventilation. A full bed, small dresser and chair were the only furniture in the room. It was spare but functional. 

Aunt Violet was a fastidious housekeeper and though the rooms smelled of furniture polish and disinfectant, they were spotlessly clean. 

For her advanced age, Aunt Violet had a lot of energy. She cooked our meals and cleaned the rooms with military precision. 

There was a screened porch off the kitchen with a panoramic view of the river and that's where we ate most of the time. A wood stair led down to a boat dock and a row boat was tied to the pier. 

After dinner and a card game, Addie and I went upstairs to bed. 

"Don't you have to use the outhouse?" she asked curiously.

My bladder was almost full but I hated going in the little house with the half moon door. My fear of the dark was another factor and I was too timid to ask Addie to go with me. 

"I guess I can wait until morning," I said hesitantly.

Addie was regarding me suspiciously.

"Madelyn, are you afraid to go by yourself?" she asked very kindly. 

Slowly I nodded my head. Addie took my hand and led me downstairs, stopping to light a lantern on the porch. 

Addie waited outside the half moon door for me and I did the same for her. Back in the bedroom, I was feeling mighty grateful to her.

"Thanks," I said with humility.

Addie smiled at me and we changed for bed. In her white cotton nightgown, I could see her breasts through the thin fabric in the dim light. 

The sole bed in the room was covered by a mosquito net and I climbed in first while Addie carefully sealed any openings.

In the glow of the oil lamp on the night stand, the sight of her breasts under the night dress was stirring something inside of me.

Addie left the lamp on as we lay in bed facing each other. She was gazing at me with affection in her pretty green eyes and I wanted to melt into her arms. 

"Goodnight," she said sweetly and kissed me on the forehead.

As Addie turned to blow out the lamp, my entire body was prickling with sensations. The overwhelming urge to touch myself gripped me but I fought it and refused to give in.

It was the longest night of my young life. I could barely discern Addie's shape in the darkness but her breathing was slow and steady, indicating she was asleep. 

As I lay flat on my back and drifting toward slumber, Addie turned and her arm fell across my stomach. I remained motionless for a long time, too frightened to move.

Sometime during the night, I dozed off. When daylight peeked through the windows, I woke with my back to Addie. She was against me and her arm was draped over my side with a hand resting over my breast.

I was about to lift Addie's hand and climb out of bed when her breathing changed, a sign she was waking up. 

"Madelyn, did you sleep well," she asked in a drowsy voice. 

"Uh huh," I answered quietly still wondering if Addie realized where her hand was.

Addie gave my tit a playful squeeze and it startled me. Nothing was said or glances exchanged and we dressed casually for breakfast. 

It was a glorious morning with the sun shining brightly and a symphony of birds in the trees. I ate with a happy heart, overjoyed that I was with Addie. 

In the parlor on opposite sides of the fireplace were built in shelves filled with books. Addie was looking for something and when she found it, took my arm and down the stairs to the boat dock we went. 

"Come on Madelyn, get in the boat," Addie pleaded. 

I had never been in a row boat and was afraid it would tip over. Holding onto the pier, I got one leg into the boat and shakily sat on the seat. 

The current on our side of the river was very sluggish and Addie rowed upstream without too much effort. Her skillful handling of the oars kept us on a straight course. 

Under the shade of some stately oaks, Addie found a huge branch partially submerged and tied the boat. Sunlight filtered through the canopy of leaves and a light breeze kept us cool. 

Addie opened one of two small books that she found in the library. I lay down on my seat and listened with rapture as she recited some of the most beautiful poetry I ever heard.

"Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day? Thou are more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And Summer's lease hath all too short a date..."

Addie read the lines with extraordinary depth of feeling in a crisp clear voice. 

"She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies And all that's best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes..."

Enchanted by Addie's performance, I listened with my undivided attention and concentrated on every word that she spoke. I felt as though she meant the words for me. 

We returned to the cottage in time for lunch and afterwards strolled along the riverbank in our bare feet. To my delight, the soft mud and cool water squished through my toes. 

We walked until we encountered an old dam in disrepair and skipped stones on the calm water trying to reach the opposite bank. Neither of us came close. 

The air had turned very muggy and after dinner Addie and I quietly sat on the porch and watched a fierce storm blow in complete with thunder and lightning. 

I was thinking about the poetry that Addie read aloud in the rowboat. The words best described how I felt in my heart about her.

"Maybe that's how she feels about me?" I wondered to myself. 

The air turned cooler and as we readied for bed, I was hoping for a glimpse of Addie's breasts and was richly rewarded when she put on her night gown in front of me. 

Addie's nipples looked tight and crinkled. 

"She's either excited or it's the cool air," I wondered to myself and felt the heat in my loins. 

Normally, we turned away from each other to undress and I was convinced her bold move had a purpose. 

I lay in bed on my side away from Addie trying to gather my strength for the night. With her so close to me, it took a lot of self control not to roll over and kiss her. 

Addie got in bed and lay against me with an arm draped over my side. I could feel her breasts on my back. 

"Good night, my dear friend," she said very affectionately and kissed my neck. 

A pulse of sensation settled between my legs and I valiantly fought the urge to touch myself. Somehow I calmed down was able to fall asleep. 

We woke in the same configuration and I could feel Addie's breath on my neck. The exquisite sensation of her arms and body against me was lighting a fire in my loins. 

While Addie slept, I had an internal debate with myself.

"Nice young ladies prefer boys not their best friend who happens to be a girl," my brain scolded me. 

Why I wanted my best friend had me in a quandary. In Sunday school, I learned that the Bible was specific on these matters. 

"...like shall not lie with like..." or something to that effect. 

But it was useless arguing with myself, my body was responding to Addie and I was powerless to stop it. She was stirring and pulled me close in an embrace. 

"Good morning," she said in a dreamy voice and lightly pecked the back of my head. 

After breakfast, Addie rowed to the same spot with the tree branch. The diffuse sunlight shone on Addie's pretty face as she regaled me with more poetry. 

"Love is like the wild rose- briar; Friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, But which will bloom most constantly?" 

Because it was a hot day, Addie's blouse was open to the tops of her creamy white breasts and her old slacks were rolled up to the knee. 

"You are as lovely as the poetry you recite," I silently mused with desire.

Addie was reading with enthusiasm and emotion in her voice. 

"It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of Annabel Lee: And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me." 

As Addie rowed back to the dock, I was moved by her heartfelt recitations and my eyes were wet with tears. 

"What's wrong Madelyn?" she asked with caring.

I was going to say I got something in my eye, but both eyes? 

"I think the poems are...well...so beautiful," I answered honestly. 

Addie's face wore a gentle smile and when she docked the boat, took me in her arms and hugged me. 

The afternoon sun was blazing hot and we decided to go swimming. 

"Stay away from the stagnant and still water, there may be leeches," Aunt Violet warned. 

We walked along the river bank until we saw the branch where Addie tied the boat. The water was brackish and still. Forgetting to heed Aunt Violet's warning, we waded out until it was chest high and used the submerged limb as a platform. 

The cool water was very refreshing and we splashed and played like two youngsters. We were in so long my fingers were pruning. Slowly, we made our way back to shore.

As we toweled our bodies, I looked at Addie and saw little black worm like things on her back and legs. She was staring at me with a look of horror and pointed to my legs. I looked down and saw the same things clinging to my body.

"Leeches!" Addie shrieked and we ran slipping and sliding along the muddy river bank to the cottage.

When Aunt Violet saw us, she sprang into action and rubbed fistfuls of salt on the parasites. One by one they dropped to the ground and a red welt appeared at the site of the attachment. 

We stripped our bathing suits and stood stark naked as Aunt Violet checked our bodies for any more of the loathsome critters. Then, she wrapped us in a bath towel and made us sit in the kitchen while she filled a large tub with warm water. 

We took turns bathing and afterwards, felt a heck of a lot better. For the remainder of the day Addie and I were subdued. 

We ate a light dinner and played a card game similar to Hearts until it was time for bed. We hurriedly changed and snuggled against each other in the bed.

That night we clung to one another more for comfort than anything else. Our ordeal with the leeches would stay crisp in my memory for a long time. 

As Addie predicted, a few days went by and we were bored. We secretly plotted to walk to the movie house in Collegeville. Aunt Violet usually retired around seven, plenty of time to sneak out and catch the movie. 

It was a hot and humid night but the theater had something new called air conditioning installed. Inside it was cooler and I marveled that such an invention existed at all. 

The first picture after the news reels was a western followed by an adventure movie with an actor I never heard of, Errol Flynn. It was just past ten when we exited the theater and a blast of humid air greeted us. 

As we talked about the last feature, we turned down River Road, thunder and lightning announced a coming storm. We started running but we were a long way from Aunt Violet's cottage.

In the dark, I could barely see Addie in front of me as we ran. Remember, street lights were very uncommon on country roads at that time. 

The rain came in windy sheets and soaked us to the bone. I heard Addie yell something and I followed her to a cottage with a one car garage. The house was dark but the garage door was open and looked empty in the sudden lightning flashes. 

We waited inside the garage for the storm to pass and in the flashes of light we looked like two drowned rats. I told Addie and we started laughing hysterically. 

But, I was soaked to the skin and started shivering something awful. Addie held me against her, rubbing my arms and back trying to create warmth. 

When I lay my wet head against Addie's chest, I experienced a deep sense of longing and need that was overpowering. The exquisite sentiments of love expressed in the poetry that she read resounded in my head. 

As I looked up at her with yearning, my heart thudded like a hammer in my chest. In the brief flashes of illumination, Addie's eyes betrayed her desire for me.

The love sonnets, the closeness in bed and the genuine affection we had for each other was leading us to a crossroad in our friendship. 

Slowly, her face moved closer until her supple lips gently pressed against mine. As Addie held me, she kissed me with tenderness and my body surrendered to the sensuous feel of her mouth. 

It was a defining moment and took our relationship to a higher plateau. In my heart, my love for Addie was clear, concise and unmistakable. 

The storm eventually passed and Addie held me in her tight embrace, not letting go. We were breathing heavily almost panting and I wanted her to kiss me again. I didn't have to wait long. 

The sky was clearing and the moon shone bright, bathing everything in a pale glow. 




The Best Years of My Life



"We should go now," she said with gentleness.

We walked hand in hand up River Road, smiling at each other. We quietly snuck back into the house and up the stairs. 

Quickly we changed out of our wet clothes and stood naked in front of each other. I admired Addie's beautiful body, so lush and feminine. She seemed to be just as interested in mine. There was no turning back now.

Addie lay on top of me in the bed and kissed my mouth with fervor. My arms were wrapped around her neck and she kept pressing her sex against my thigh with a steady rhythm. 

The bed made squeaking sounds from the movement and it made me nervous. Addie sensed my apprehension.

"Auntie's almost deaf, she can't hear a thing," she said reassuringly and kissed me full on the mouth.

Addie bumped her sex against my leg with more urgency and I felt wetness on my skin. I was moaning into her mouth from the sheer unadulterated pleasure when she cried out and her body stiffened and shook.

"Did it feel good?" I asked when she calmed down. 

Addie was smiling with a shy expression.

"Uh huh, real good," she said coyly. 

Although we were polite and mannered young ladies by senior year of high school we were acquainted with and practitioners of masturbation. 

Unlike today, it was done as discreetly as possible in the privacy of ones bedroom. It was the only outlet we had for sexual feelings and we shared our thoughts about it and sex in general with each other but never with a boy. 

Even though we hadn't ever seen one, we knew boys had a penis and it was used for mating. We listened with wide eyed curiosity to several girls who used their hand or mouth on a boy and described the experience in shocking detail.

"Addie, please kiss me," I begged and put my arms around her. 

Addie's lips met mine and soon we were necking in earnest. I never wanted to let go of her. She stopped kissing me and moved down to my small breasts. Her hands gently squeezed until her lips caressed a nipple.

As Addie sucked my swollen bumps with delight, fiery feelings surged throughout my body. Her thigh was between my legs and I pounded my sex upwards until an uncontrollable but intense sensation rushed through my body. 

As far as I was concerned, it was much better than touching myself. Naked as the day when we were born, we held each other and tenderly kissed until sleep found us both. 

When I woke the next morning, I was joyous, filled with feelings of love for Addie. I looked into her lovely green eyes and my heart throbbed with emotion.

End of Chapter 1 Literary Credits:

"Shall I Compare Thee" William Shakespeare

"She Walks in Beauty" Lord Byron "Love and Friendship" Emily Bronte 

"Annabelle Lee" Edgar Allan Poe