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Nova's Journey

By: OnlyATest



Hello everyone, I'm a very first time submitter and I'm looking for feedback of every sort. Please rate, comment, etc and let me know if you want this story to continue. This is not a really quick paced story, it's pretty slow, so if you're looking for something fast, this isn't it!

Chapter 1

I don't remember much of my childhood. My parents died when I was very young and left me with no one and nowhere to go. Lios told me that a plague had been spreading across the continent and had ravaged my village. The only survivors were myself and a few other children. Had Lios not found me when he did, I very well may have died.

My earliest memory, before that of the caravan, was hiding in the dark. I was watching the caravan approach the village and I was terrified. I hid in the shadows and awaited their approach. The last human contact I had had, a man had slapped me out of his way while he was fleeing the village, I had learned not to come out into the open and risk another beating. Lios had known better than to approach a burning village with a plague going on, he had entered only with a couple guards. The fleeing villagers had set the rest of the village aflame to purge it, dooming those left behind to a fiery death or a slow painful starvation. I watched these towering men walking through my home, my village. I felt fear when he approached my hiding place, remembering the past beating, but I was overtaken with a rage. This man, this stranger, had invaded my home. I leapt from my hiding place, biting and clawing at him, I latched onto his leg and attempted to pull this towering man down. I heard him yell in fear, possibly in pain. He laughs in his recollection, telling me that the guards would have gutted me had he not stopped them from tearing apart a small child. He grabbed me by an arm and pulled me from his leg, I was still struggling, clawing and wailing like a banshee. He screamed at me to calm down and, despite being very young, I understood his intentions. I had enough fear in me to stop abruptly. He placed me on the ground and reached into a small pouch, removing a piece of bread, he handed it to me and released my arm. I eagerly grabbed it from him and began to devour it. It was the first piece of real food I had had in days. He grabbed me up in his arms and looked me over carefully, terrified that I had been infected by the plague and that he, too, would become a casualty due to exposure. When he was satisfied that he could find nothing wrong with me he placed me back on the ground before him. He tells me that I was a small, grubby little thing, with messy black hair, wearing an oversized, dirty shirt and scrounging through trash and dirt for anything I could find to eat, as most orphans had been doing. When he found me he said he began to have suspicions that he might not find any adults alive, it wasn't uncommon for the sick and weak to be left behind, abandoned in a panic, when plague broke out. He lead a small search through the village, with myself in tow, and found signs that it had, in fact, been abandoned. 

There were others, like me, left behind by the plague. Lios said he found a group of them but they had been too afraid to approach him and once he saw a few bearing the marks of plague: pus-filled boils, red blotchy skin, yellowed eyes. He abandoned all hope of saving the others and left for good, taking me with him. Lios understood the plague, he knew how it worked, how to avoid it. He placed all of us, including himself and his guards, under a quarantine before returning to the caravan. 

The first night we camped out between the town and the caravan. I had never seen such a thing, shimmering lights out in the distance, dancing flames and music. This thing I had feared so much in daylight, had turned into a thing of curiosity in the darkness. I wanted so badly to go investigate it. Lios caught me trying to sneak off into the darkness and kept me by his side by enticing me with food. He and the guards set out blankets to sleep and I curled up beside him like his pet, or so he tells me. The next day we trailed the caravan as it moved. I asked Lios if we would ever reach the big city we saw last night and he told me that soon enough we would be able to enter it, it would just take a few days. I didn't realize it at the time, but the caravan was leaving supplies behind for us. Lios was a very crafty man and he had organized that the caravan would stop for a short duration and leave us rations and supplies before moving forward toward its destination. As it moved forward, so did we, maintaining a distance between us and them, but allowing us to pick up the necessities. 

After a few days of this, and my constant nagging about entering the city, we finally reached it in the late afternoon. Lios hoisted me up on his shoulders as we entered the caravan to keep track of me. I remember entering between the wagons and horses, seeing the livestock and all the people within the caravan. People were peddling wares and goods to each other, there were people selling fruits and nuts from their wagons. Men were haggling at the wagons with goods, children playing games kicked up the sand as they played. I enjoyed the view from up on Lios' shoulders, I had never had a view from so high up and I sat in amazement that I could see from one end of the caravan to the other. Someone approached Lios and began to speak to him, while I heard the words and comprehended the meaning, I had very little interest in what was going on. I was distracted by the ball the children were kicking in the sand. 

This was the first time I saw them. Very quickly, my attention turned to a blue head wandering through the crowd, it was a deep blue, like a lapis lazuli, then there was another, and another. I watched in awe as the crowd parted and they moved together through it, almost like it wasn't there. As they approached, I noticed that the crowd, the loud rowdy people, even the children, had all stopped and watched curiously, they put everyone in a stunned silence. When the crowd finally parted in front of us and I could see them, I saw that they were draped in blue veils, head to toe. Even the man speaking to Lios stopped, waiting to see what would be said. There must have been 8 or so of them, standing there in the crowd. One approached Lios and I could only sit in wonder. I swear I watched her glide over the ground towards him, then she spoke, her voice like velvet, soft and smooth, I had never heard such a thing and it intrigued me. I could sense the curiosity in Lios' voice as well. A few of the others approached him and made a gesture I would later learn was that of a courtesy, a small bow of sorts. Lios spoke again, his voice that much deeper and rougher in comparison to hers. She stepped forward, I could see her green eyes burning beneath the thin opening in the veil, and I watched mesmerized as the deep blue ripple and a pale arm emerged, gold bangles and a single, simple gold ring glimmered on her translucent skin. Lios shook her hand gently. I too, in my curiosity, wished to touch her. I heard her velvet voice laugh softly, she muttered something to Lios I didn't understand, still too enchanted by her tone. Her gaze shifted and her green eyes burned me as she stared, she reached up to me and I grabbed at her palm clumsily, her skin was soft and smooth, cool to the touch. 

Lios told me, even then, even when I was very young, she had expressed an interest in me, in taking me with them, but he hadn't wanted that. Lios firmly believed that everyone should choose their path. But as the woman's gaze dropped back to Lios and she bowed slightly, I already knew what I wanted, even then. She turned, her long veil flowing in the wind as she and the others moved back through the crowd. I didn't know who these people were, what they wanted. I wasn't old enough to understand the transaction that had occurred between Lios and this strange woman. All I knew was that whoever these people were, they held a power I had never seen before. The power to stop a bustling market place, the power to command all the attention and respect of an entire caravan. I wanted that. 

Chapter 2

I spent the first few months with Lios, he watched me like a hawk and while he would allow me to go play with the other children, he was never far away, nor were his guards. He determined I must have been about 4 years old at the time, since I had little to no memory and my communication skills were very primitive, so he had no rush to push me into learning. Instead, as I followed him around, I picked up a lot of what he did, I was essentially introduced to the entire caravan as he had dealings with all of them. I learned very early on that he was their leader, the head of the caravan. 

Lios came from a long line of merchants, his family had been very very wealthy and affluent, but scandal had struck his father, and his entire family was driven from their home. Luckily, Lios' father had been involved in dealings with the caravan, so when they turned up in a wagon, willing to help the caravan peddle their wares for the highest prices, the caravan accepted them preliminarily. Following that, the caravan became particularly wealthy, mostly due to the exceptional bartering skills of Lios' father. When the current leader stepped down, Lios' father stepped up, and Lios followed in his footsteps, having the same charisma and silk tongue. He was looked highly upon by the caravan, whenever there was an issue, he was always the one to sort it out, social issues, money issues, any problems, he was there to mediate. 

I learned very quickly from Lios the basics of dealing with people. Speak clearly, evenly, do not let your emotions overtake your rationality. Be fair and be just, treating people badly will only lead to problems later on. Treating everyone with respect, giving people proper courtesies and displaying the manners I was taught by Lios got me out of more trouble than I could have ever imagined. Then again, I suppose becoming his adopted child was probably what did the most for me at the caravan. 

The caravan was very, very diverse. It was made up of people from all walks of life, with different skills and abilities. The one thing we all shared in common was that we had all been displaced by misfortune of sorts. Farmers who had lost their land shares or been kicked out, merchants whose businesses had folded or who had been victims of scandal or theft, Tradesmen, a smithy, whose daughter was killed by an affluent member of the city counsel where he lived, when nothing was done, he swore revenge and left to make the means to do so. A group of masons who were said to be cursed after they built a tomb for a mystic, they were driven out of business by superstition. There were many others, people deemed too off kilter for the cities they had been in, the dancers whose dances were too risque for the locals, the mystics whom no one believed, and of course, the women in blue. I still didn't know who they were and for a very long time, I was forbidden from going to their wagon or interacting with any of them without Lios present. Of course, once I began my dealings with the other children and found out that each family had their own wagon, the first place I wanted to find was their wagon. I had much difficulty finding it, even the other children were against me, telling me that their parents had forbade them from going near the wagon either, more than that, they feared the wrath of Lios. I had yet to experience it and felt no fear from my protector, the one who had saved me, but this did not sway the other children. I had to abandon my search for a time. 

After a time, Lios pulled me aside and told me I would be learning from some of the members of the caravan, that I should go each day to see specific people and that they would teach me and direct me to others for the rest of my lessons. Lios started each day, teaching me to read and write our language. I was particularly adept at this and I excelled faster than he had expected to. After that it was on to the farmer's wife, Maria, who taught me numbers. She had very little knowledge of math, but Lios had requested that she give me very basic lessons to preface his more complex ones once we finished language. Those were my basic lessons for a time, very simple and very easy, and Lios allowed me to follow him or play with the other kids the rest of the day. I wasn't that easily entertained most of the time. 

I'd follow people's children home for lunch, meet their parents and watch them working. I learned the art of vending pretty easily, although their parents would never let me assist in sales since I was too young, I assisted in moving smaller crates, barrels, and other small tasks that were assigned to me. The smith was my favorite, I'd watch the flames dance as the smith hammered away and when someone would come to shoo me away, the smith would tell them that he didn't mind the company and that I reminded him of his daughter. He showed me the different metals he worked with and explained how each was different. I was fascinated by this. I think if I hadn't chosen my current path, I might have become a smith. I'm not sure which would have been more horrifying to Lios. After Maria's lessons were exhausted and Lios language lessons became less intensive, he began to show me the merchants log and how it worked. He explained transactions and sales. While the concepts made sense, I was far less adept at math than I was with words. He laughed when I told him this and explained to me that he was as well, it was being able to work with words that led to wealth and understanding the concepts of using money that allowed one to keep their money. 

The years rolled on quickly, Lios' teachings and the information and skills I picked up from the caravan multiplied. The vendors finally allowed me to help sell goods, mostly on account of Lios, the smith taught me the basics of smithing, the farmer's wife taught me to cook, the masons were shocked at my openness and interest in their craft, they taught me to mix the mortars and to do basic woodworking. I even wandered to the mystic's wagon on occasion, but usually out of curiosity and less out of an interest to learn. When I inquired about the mystic's abilities, they looked me up and down: a grubby, rough around the edges kid, and determined that I had little to no abilities and that my studies would lead to very little. However, while at the mystic's wagon, I found something that perked my curiosity. 

The other children and I were kicking a ball around, when it rolled past the mystic's wagon to what we thought was a second wagon for the mystics. I ran after it to recapture it and continue the game when I watched it roll up to a pair of blue legs. My jaw dropped, I had found them, the women in blue. She stared out at me with her green eyes, they burned holes in me just as they had before. I heard her laugh in that velvety voice. 

"So we meet again," she said as she bent and picked up the ball with a translucent hand and began to walk toward me, I'd have sworn she glided above the ground, it was like she wasn't walking at all. The blue veil still covered all but her clear green eyes where it was a thinner, lighter shade of blue. I stood in awe of her, even as she stood before me. She reached out to hand me the ball, but when I stood there flabbergasted she put it into my chest and released it, hoping I would catch it. I couldn't break her gaze, her eyes, just her eyes, mesmerized me. I stared, lost, as her hand reached up and grabbed my chin. Her cool skin on my face made me shiver. "You are a grubby thing," she sighed, but even in disdain her voice was elegant. Her thumb and forefinger held my chin, her thumb ran just below my lower lip, I shivered again. She watched and chuckled, "There may be hope for you yet," she gingerly turned my head, looking me over, "We will meet again very soon." she stared at me, burning me with her green eyes, as if trying to hypnotize me, I don't know if she realized she already had. She released me and turned abruptly, the other kids were yelling behind me, asking me what was taking so long. I jolted back to reality, away from what had just happened. I would see her again, I was dazed and I was still too young to understand what had occurred, but I would learn with time.

While the mystics had more or less shunned me, the dancers accepted me wholeheartedly. While I started out klutzy, my coordination developed over time. A group I hadn't noticed particularly much was the guards, but Lios had them watching me whenever he wasn't there. He manditorily had me attend their training and learn some swordfighting as well. Lios said it was quite a sight, a bunch of burly men and a small girl with a small sword, all together practicing. 

I was always quite big for my age, I outgrew the boys fairly quickly but Lios always warned me that this would not last forever. By the time I was 10, I was silver-tongued, I made even the hardest sales at the marketplace. I was becoming adept at smithing and dancing. I loved that smithing offered physical rewards for the amount of time that you invested in it, similarly to dancing as well as swordsmanship. Lios seemed content with the amount of improvement I was making, with the positive changes. I'm fairly certain, looking back, that he had every intention of making me the new caravan's leader, but that was short lived, I had other intentions.

Chapter 3

I recall the day well, I was sitting outside at a handmade table with the others my age, eating lunch and talking about the day's activities. Lios approached, the other kids jumped, as they always did when he came around, but Lios calmed them and lifted a hand, motioning with a finger.

"Nova, I need to speak with you,"

I stood, my partially eaten apple in one hand as I made my way to him. He walked with me to our home wagon with a couple of guards in tow. We had our tent set up in the back, I followed him in, the guards remaining at the door. 

"Yes father?"

"The smithy tells me you do exceptional work," he sat heavily at our table in the center of the large tent and crossed his arms, wearing a contented grin.

"I got to shoe a horse yesterday, It was great!" I leapt with excitement

He chuckled,

"Not only that, I hear the dancers and the captain of the guard believe you have quite the prowess for a little girl."

I giggled,

"That's because I knocked one of them flat on his back," I said with a grin. I had. I had knocked over a full grown man during a mock swordfight by working him backward over a stack of crates, he toppled over and I jumped on him, winning the match.

"That's excellent," he said simply, "but I think it's about time you begin to think about what it is you want to do." His expression was suddenly solemn.

"What do you mean?"

He shifted uncomfortably from the chair and stood to pace.

"Nova, I'm going to give you some time and I want you to think about what it is you want to do."

"You mean for work?"

"Yes, as a job,"

"Can I be a smithy?"

Lios frowned, 

"You can, I see no issue with that,"

"Then why do you look so unhappy?" I asked simply. My straightforward nature wouldn't allow me not to ask.

He walked toward me and knelt before me, he was still over a foot taller than I was. 

"Nova, I want you to pick something that you want to do for the rest of your life, something you'll be really content with. Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

I looked at the floor, a little disappointed I had picked something that he didn't approve of.

"Can you give me some time to think about it?"

He stared me in the eyes, his warm brown eyes reflecting my own, I could see him thinking. He slowly began to nod.

"Ok," he said beginning to stand, but I leapt into his arms and hugged him.


Nova's Journey Pt. 02



 WOW!! You guys are amazing, I'm thrilled and very humbled with all the feedback and would like to encourage more on my writing journey! Huge thank you to everyone who commented/favorited/rated my first post and I look forward to hearing more for part two. I hope to finish this story with your continuing support, thank you all so much!

*****

Chapter 5

I ran into the darkness and felt as though I could run forever, that my energy was boundless. If I had wings I would have flown. I tore through the camp in the moonlight. The sun had long since set, I had missed dinner but Lios would not notice, we ate in a large gaggle in the center of camp, he would not assume that I had been absent. I slowed when I approached my end of the camp, finally out of breath. I stopped for a moment and caught my breath, wiping my forehead of the sweat. Finally calm, I approached the wagon and the tent pitched behind it. I attempted to be stealthy and enter quietly but when I pulled the flap back, I saw that a lamp was still lit. 

"Finally back I see,"

For the first time I could remember, Lios' voice struck a panic in me. I entered the tent, knowing there was no way out of this situation. When he glanced at me in the light I saw his expression change from a simmering anger to a rage. He bit his lip.

"What did I tell you?" He growled, approaching me, I could tell he was trying not to be overly loud. "I told you to avoid the boys and what do you do? You show up in the middle of the night with your hair down after missing dinner."

I felt my mouth gape in horror, I reached up to my neck to find I had forgotten to put my hair back up. My entire excuse had just gone out the window, I was now completely unarmed for this.

"Shit," Lios said, pacing with one hand on his head, he turned back to me, "Who was it?"

He was inches from my face and moving closer,

"Who was it?" his voice was barely audible, he enunciated every word.

I was silent, he waited. All I could hear was the sound of him breathing heavily. 

"I wasn't out with a boy." I said simply, my gaze had turned to the floor, I was terrified of what might happen if I looked him in the eye.

"Ok, then who? What were you out doing so late?"

I hesitated, feeling myself wanting to lie but knowing that whether or not I did, it would result in the same amount of trouble. I shook my head.

"No? No, what? Why won't you tell me what happened?"

He was interrogating me and I was getting frustrated.

"I know you're not going to be happy hearing about it."

He paused, staring at me,

"What did you do? Just be honest with me."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, he was trying to calm down, I could hear it in his voice. I broke down knowing that I couldn't tell him the truth without it hurting both of us. 

"Nova," he said calmly, putting his giant hands on my shoulders as I sobbed, "Did something happen? Are you alright?"

I nodded, wiping my eyes.

"Nothing happened, I'm ok."

"Then what's going on?"

"I met someone," I just blurted out, "the woman in blue."

I felt his hands tighten on my shoulders for a moment, almost painfully. He must have become aware of this, his grip loosened and he dropped his hands to his sides where they balled into fists.

"And what happened?" he was still making words but his face was fixed in a scowl.

I was looking him in the eye but I had lost my ability to talk. I wanted to make words, to express what had happened, but I was so embarassed I couldn't. My eyes fell back to the floor.

"That's all I need to know," he said, walking past me, out of the tent, into the darkness.

"Wait, where are you going?" I asked, horrified that he was going to return to Skye and all I would find tomorrow would be a corpse.

"I'm going to have a little chat," 

I ran after him out of the tent,

"Stay here," he growled, I wasn't about to leave him with Skye, "Nova, stay here!" he yelled. His voice raised for the first time since I'd known him and it scared me to the point of stopping. I sobbed in the darkness as he walked off. What had I done? What had I gotten myself into? What would happen to Skye and the others? I couldn't stand here and wait to find out, I had to go. I had started this mess and I had to fix it. I ran after him in the darkness, praying I would reach them before Lios did. I was out of breath from crying and running and had stopped a good 50 feet from the tent where I had left Skye not too long ago. I looked up to see Lios at the opening of the tent, holding a lantern. Fear suddenly ran through me that he might just toss the lantern into the tent and say that a fire had broken out. But my imagination had run off, he stood patiently at the door of the tent and I saw Skye emerge, amazingly unveiled, from the tent. The two of them walked from the tent out behind the wagons and towards a dune. I ran after them, following the lantern up the dune. I ran until my lungs felt as though they would collapse, and then I ran some more. I couldn't stop until I knew Skye was safe. They were standing only a few feet from each other, screaming. 

"How can you be so shallow? You knew exactly what we were the moment you let us in!"

"I didn't know you were predators and you were going to seduce my daughter!"

I ran straight into the middle of the conversation and stood between them, facing Lios with my arms out.

"It's not her fault," I managed, panting frantically

"Bullshit! I'm supposed to believe that you went to visit her of your own accord?"

"Considering you forbade us from meeting," I shot back.

Lios' face erupted in surprise before turning back to anger,

"Who told you!?" he waved his arms angrily, "Who!?"

"I did," Skye answered from behind me, she put her hand on my shoulder and pushed me gently aside, "I thought she had a right to know the truth."

Lios raged for a moment,

"There was a reason why!" He turned to me, pointing a finger in Skye's direction, "There was a reason why I didn't want you seeing these people." he growled.

"And why's that?" I asked, "Don't you think I deserved to know?"

"You don't know anything" he said simply, "You don't understand what else is at play here." His eyes turned to Skye and I saw the anger in his eyes.

I turned back to her, questioning,

"You agreed to the terms," she said simply, "I simply wanted her to find freedom."

I faced Lios, he was scowling and his eyes had fallen to the ground.

"What the hell is going on? What's she talking about?"

"Tell her," I heard Skye's velvet voice say from beside me, "Tell her the truth."

I looked to Lios, waiting. His eyes raised from the ground and looked to me, I could see the pain in the words he was about to say. 

"When the Cerulean Order came to us, I knew we could benefit from having them here, there was a lot of money to be made. I was inexperienced and bad at negotiating still, Skye figured me out. She knew I wanted them to join us so she made a bargain." he paused, looking me in the eye. "She said she wanted you, she wanted you to join them when you came of age. So I told her that you could have no contact up to that point."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. 

"You bargained with me?"

He wouldn't look me in the eye,

"Tell her the rest," Skye chimed behind me.

He shook his head,

"I agreed that you would be able to choose whether or not you wanted to join them once you were old enough," he said gruffly. "I didn't want you joining them, becoming a part of that. I wanted you to have a normal life, to have the chance to live a good life. I afforded you all the chances to learn and take up a profession because I wanted something better for you."

His eyes were earnest, I could see tears welling up. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him, I couldn't hold back my own tears.

"I'm sorry, father."

"As am I," he said, releasing me, he wiped tears from my face, "I should have never agreed to such terms. I broke the most important rule, to never bargain with something you are not willing to lose."

I sobbed, I knew he truly loved and cared about me, even though I was not his flesh and blood. He spoke the truth, all he had really wanted was to protect me, to give me the chance to do something I truly wanted, not be condemned to a single path. How would I ever explain to him that I was freely choosing that path?

"I love you, father," I said, still crying, I kissed his cheek. "But I have to choose."

He was suddenly solemn, tears still running down his face. I released him and turned to Skye.

"What will happen if I choose to go with you?"

"You will be taught our ways, our methods, and then stay with us for the next 10 years."

"After that?"

"You are free to do as you please, you may stay or you may return to your previous life."

"Do you plan on staying with the caravan?"

She nodded,

"We have no intentions of leaving, unless Lios decides otherwise."

"Will I still be free to do as I please when I'm not being instructed?"

"Yes, your time is your own, you are under no restriction outside of instruction."

I turned back to Lios, but he already knew what I was planning. 

"I see you made your choice," he wiped his face and looked me in the eye, "Do as you like, you are now an adult. Just know that if you ever need anything, you are always my daughter."

He wrapped an arm around me and kissed my head gently. 

"Thank you, father,"

He released me,

"You know where to find me."

I turned and walked back toward Skye.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" she asked, "Absolutely certain?"

I nodded,

"Yes."

"You may stay with your father this last night, then you will come live with us, understand?"

I nodded.

"Tomorrow then," she said, turning and beginning the walk back to her tent.

Lios had walked up behind me,

"We should head back as well."

I followed him back to our tent, he said nothing, I didn't even know where to start with what to say, so I decided the best plan of action was to remain silent. We entered the tent, he walked straight to his bed and sat down, facing away from me. I began changing. 

"Do you understand what you've gotten yourself into?"

I stopped but remained silent,

"One day, Nova, when you have your own children, you will understand what it is like to want to protect them."

I continued in silence before lying down in bed and pulling a blanket over me.

Lios sat in silence, staring at the side of the tent with the lamp burning. It was still burning when I fell asleep. I wish I had known then, had I been able to understand and grasp what horrible pain he was going through when I told him what I did. I still can't say that I have the insight to understand entirely, but I think I grasp it somewhat better now. The pain, the disappointment, the huge letdown of investing so much time and energy into giving someone something only to discover that they do not really want it. Still, I would not have chosen differently, nor would I wish that on anyone, to have to choose something that makes them unhappy when there is clearly something that would make them happy waiting on the other side of a difficult decision. 

The next day, when I awoke, Lios was gone, off tending to his many duties. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Morning sunlight baked the tent and rays of sunlight poured through the small space between flaps at the opening. Last night felt like a dream turned nightmare and for a few moments I wondered whether it had really happened. I dressed and began packing. I didn't have much to pack up, a few changes of clothes and some bathing supplies. I heard the tent flap and I turned to see Lios coming in,

"You're up, good, Skye is looking for you,"

I stood and grabbed my bag of packed belongings. 

"I'm on my way out now," I said simply and began to walk towards the flap.

"Wait,"

I turned and saw him approaching me, he reached for a pocket and produced a single gold ring. He held it between two fingers and took one of my hands. 

"This is the first thing I ever traded for," he said, slipping it on one of my fingers, "It was going to be my gift to you when you became the leader of the caravan, but now I just want you to have it, as something to remember me by." 

I dropped my bag and hugged him,

"How can you think I will ever forget my father?"

he chuckled, hugging me back,

"Just don't forget where you came from." he said releasing me.

"Some awful town infected with the plague, got it."

He laughed,

"Be safe and be careful, Skye is very good at what she does, I know she will take good care of you."

I nodded, picking back up my bag and heading out of the tent. The sunlight blinded me at first but I blinked away the blindness as my eyes adjusted and noticed a blue figure standing next to our wagon about 20 feet away. I headed towards her, 

"Follow me," she said, it wasn't Skye this time, but I followed as she led me to the tent I had been in last night. She stood to one side and held the flap open for me and I walked in to the familiar earthy smell.

"Where should I go?" I asked

"Head towards the back," she replied, pointing to the back of the tent, "Many of these are unclaimed."

I stepped over the beds and dropped my things by what seemed like a vacant bed. She approached me and looked me up and down,

"We need to get you some new clothes," she shook her head, "But first lets get you introduced and started on some basics. My name is Embry" she did a curtsy of sorts, "I'm currently the only one not working, everyone else is out at the moment, one of us needs to stay back and ensure the safety of the tent and the wagon, today that is me."

"Do you have to be veiled all the time?"

"No, but you haven't been officially initiated yet, so I can't reveal myself to you."

"Where's Skye?"

She laughed,

"You will be very fortunate if you can get a hold of her before sundown, she is a very busy woman." 

"So what exactly needs to be done around here? Or are you going to teach me something?"

"Since you haven't been initiated, I can't say much, so today will be mostly chores and basic delivery."

"Alright, what needs to be done?"

And that was the start of my day of busy work. I retrieved food stores from the vendors, cleaned beds, fed the horses, and did some wagon maintenance. I was busy hammering out some metal for a wagon wheel when a hand lit on my shoulder.

"What are you up to?" The velvet voice asked,

I turned, smiling, to face those familiar green eyes and blue veil.

"I met Embry and she's kept me hard at work," I said, wiping sweat from my forehead with the back of one arm, "You have a bad wheel, so I thought I'd might as well fix it."

"Take a break and come eat lunch with me,"

I couldn't have dropped what I was doing any faster, I followed her into the tent where the other women were sitting.

There was a groan when I entered and a bunch of women fussing to find their veils.

"Relax," Skye's voice punctuated the movement, "She is our newest initiate, your secret is safe with her."

They all sighed and put down their veils, resuming their lunch. Skye removed her own veil, shaking out her hair as she dropped it onto a bed.

"This is Embry," she pointed to a fair skinned girl with brown hair.

"Dammit, now she knows what I look like," Embry said gruffly

"Oh shut up," the girl next to her said, "She was going to figure it out sooner or later,"

Skye pointed to the girl who had spoken, she had dark hair and mid toned skin,

"Miras," she moved to a slightly older woman, probably somewhere in her mid to late 30s, she was also a blonde with lighter skin and blue eyes, "Lena," the woman waved with one hand, eating with the other. "Then there's Mitra and Thenra, they're twins," there were two women in their mid twenties with dark complexions similar to myself but they too had piercing blue eyes, one had shoulder length hair, the other had a long ponytail, respectively. They didn't respond, only continued eating. "Have a seat," Skye said, gesturing to the floor. I sat at the end near the twins.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Nova," I said simply. Mitra, the shaggy haired one, nodded.

"They don't talk much," Miras said simply, "Kind of the quiet type."

"I see."

Skye returned from outside holding some fruit and a couple wrapped sandwiches, she came in and sat next to me, handing me a sandwich and a piece of fruit. 

"How are you doing with this?" she asked me, very intent on her food. Mine was already in my mouth, I hurriedly swallowed it so I could answer.

"I'm doing alright, but I wanted to ask you something."

"Yes?" she took a small bite of her food.

"Is there any way I could continue working with the smith? Or maybe even just dancing or swordsmanship? I want to keep up my skills in those fields."

"As long as it doesn't interfere with your learning here, I don't see an issue, just know that you cannot discuss your work here."

I nodded,

"Of course, that shouldn't be a problem."

"Don't overwork today," she said simply, taking another bite of her sandwich, "tonight is the official ceremony and you're going to need your energy."

I felt my heart sink into my stomach with anticipation. I couldn't deny that I was excited for what might come, I secretly hoped it would involve Skye. 

"I'll make sure I don't overwork then." I said simply, beginning to eat the piece of fruit, I had devoured the sandwich. She turned to me and gave me a devilish grin, I thought for a moment I could see some excitement in her eyes as well.

"Not sure what's going on over here, but I feel some sparks!" I heard Embry say from the other side of the group.

"You know, just because we have sex all the time, doesn't mean we always have to be pervy!" Miras harassed her, "Haven't you ever heard of friendship?"

"That is not a look of friendship..." Lena added, without looking up from her sandwich.

"I have to go," Skye said abruptly, hearing the chatter among the other women, she tossed the piece of fruit to me, "You might need this more than I do."

"Good luck and be careful," I said to her, then realized just how personal that sounded, "All of you," I said turning to the group, trying to sound less attached. They all began to get up and put their veils back on. Skye took a moment to tidy up, the other women headed out. I turned to clean off the beds when I felt two arms wrap around my stomach and gentle kisses on my neck. I chuckled, wrapping my arms over hers, I looked over my shoulder, her green eyes soft, gentle for once. I didn't want her to go, and I didn't want her to let me go. I leaned in and kissed her softly, she released me.

"I have to go," she grinned, pulling her veil over her face, "I'll see you tonight."

I nodded,

"See you."

She was out the flap and gone before I knew it. I turned back to resume working and saw Embry before me, she was standing with her arms crossed, looking at me critically.

"That explains a lot."

Again, I felt the urge to lie, but I knew it would get me nowhere, I was still a horrible liar. Perhaps the truth was less threatening. I shrugged,

"It is what it is," I said as I walked past her to continue my work, I could feel my face burning, I was thankful for my dark complexion, it hid some of the redness in my face. But I couldn't deny, some of it was lust, some was love, and some was pride.  

Chapter 6

The sun was going down and as it did my anticipation was rising. The sky was tinted with an orange hue as the sun descended below the horizon line, beneath the dunes surrounding our camp. I had occupied myself with sweeping out the wagon of the finer sand that had accumulated inside it. Their wagon was a curious thing, it was wider than most of ours with space for far more than 6 or 7 of us, I figured I knew why. The floor was carpeted with a fine oriental rug, made of bright reds and yellows, it seemed fairly new. There was sleeping space for about 14, or so I counted, the interior of the wagon was made from mahogany and innately ornamented in places. They clearly were not at a loss for funds if they could afford such a big, grandiose wagon. I heard a clicking tongue behind me and expected to see Embry's critical face staring back at me when I turned. 




Nova's Journey Pt. 02



"Unfortunate your talents have to go to waste on such trivial tasks." Skye's velvet voice sounded from beneath the veil.

I laughed,

"You must mean my extensive lack of experience."

"For a merchant's daughter, you're not much of a liar and you don't sugarcoat very well."

I shrugged,

"My father taught me not to lie once you've been found out, it makes you appear untrustworthy"

"Very wise," she said simply, "come with me, we should clean up before the ceremony."

I could hardly believe what I was hearing, but she didn't have to ask twice. I replaced the broom where I had gotten it from and followed her as she glided away into the desert with the descending sun. It took a moment before I realized we were wandering into the desert and it scared me a bit.

"Where are we going?" I asked, I'm certain now she could hear the fear in my voice.

"You'll see," I could hear her smiling, "Scared?"

"A little, yes,"

"Nova," my name sounded sweet coming from her, "You are going to have to learn to do things that are beyond your own comfort. This is good experience."

"Alright," I answered, following her over yet another dune, the sky had darkened immensely, the light was almost entirely gone but the moon had begun to rise, thick and full, reflecting the sun to light our way. An intense fear struck me when I saw a light ahead of us, who were we about to meet? I stayed close to Skye, hoping perhaps she would be able to get us out of this situation without coming to harm. I know now that she could sense my discomfort and I'm sure she was probably amused at the time that I was so scared of outside influences, of other people. As we approached I realized it wasn't actually a camp, there was no one around. There was a lone lantern planted on a tall stake at the edge of what appeared to be a lake. As we approached, I could see steam rising from the water. We stopped at the edge and she turned to me, green eyes still burning in the darkness with the glow of the moon.

"This is where we stop," she said removing her veil and dropping it in the sand. I realized she had been carrying a small cloth bag in her arms the whole time. She dropped it gently in the sand next to the veil and approached me, I felt myself flush. She must have seen the look on my face, she chuckled and her hands slid up the sides of my neck, I felt her lean in against me and begin to kiss me. She moved softly and slowly, her hands ran down my chest and began untucking my shirt. I lifted my arms easily and let her remove it. She unclasped my support in the fewest motions I had ever seen someone do so and tugged it off me nonchalantly, giving me a devilish grin. I took this as a signal to do the same, I reached for the front of her leather boustier but she caught my hands as I had begun to grasp the laces, for a moment I was scared. 

"Not here," she guided my hands around behind her, "Here." Her hands traced gently over my chest and back up until they rested on my shoulders, she wasted no time in returning to her gentle kisses. My hands felt along her back, noticing an overlap, I felt clasping and began to unhook it, one loop at a time. I held the boustier with one hand and pulled it from between us, dropping it off to one side. I wanted to feel her against me, my arms wrapped around her and pulled her in tighter, my hands ran down her back, feeling every curve. I felt her thumbs tuck into my belt and run from the sides to the front of me, she deftly undid it without looking and then hooked a thumb to undo on the buttons in the front of my pants until they dropped around my ankles. I reached for her waist and discovered a belt low over her hips, I was not as proficient and it took some fiddling to get it undone, but she was wearing a silk wrap around her hips and it slipped off effortlessly once I had gotten the troublesome belt off. I felt myself unwilling to bend and remove my boots, I stepped on the heels of my boots and stepped entirely out of them. She was far more fortunate, her sandals slipped off easily. I felt her leading me and assumed she was pulling me, but I realized she wasn't. She was moving away from me and it was I who was following, and I was following wholeheartedly. I think she knew, even then, that I would have willingly followed her wherever she would have gone, regardless of how apprehensive I might have felt about it. She was what I wanted, what I truly wanted most of all, and I would follow her to the ends of the earth. I felt the warmth on my toes, my feet, creeping up my legs as she lured me into the spring. I could hear the water rippling as we descended into it. One of her hands reached down her side and slipped into mine, placed on her hip. She slipped away from me, smiling, and pulled me further in behind her. The sand was soft beneath my feet, I could feel a slight slickness to it on the bottom. I wasn't sure where she was taking me until she stopped at approximately hip level, she glanced over her shoulder at me, her eyes, those eyes, looking into my soul, I couldn't stand it.

"Over here, in front of me," her voice was gentle but I knew this was a command.

I did my best to shuffle around in front of her.

"Stop," she said firmly, I stopped. "Turn towards me," I turned, standing before the woman who could have owned me, should she have chosen. "Sit down," I felt my hesitation, knowing full well I was in deeper water, but I obeyed, her hand slipped from mine. To my shock, I found myself seated on what appeared to be a smooth rock, the water was up to my collarbone. I was looking straight ahead to her navel, the lamp behind her illuminated her figure while the pale moonlight reflected her fair skin. My face burned, I felt my chest pound, what would she do? What would she have me do? I reached out and my hands ran up from her thighs to her hips, over the smooth, milky skin that covered her. My glance slipped up her frame, over the porcelain skin, until I saw the moonlight glinting in her eyes. It made them even more beautiful, revealing a kaleidoscope of color. For a moment I was breathless from her beauty, but I wanted her. I pulled her sharply into my lap, I wasn't willing to wait any longer, but feeling her so close against me, the warmth from her body, the velvet in her voice, in her soft chuckle, I couldn't be rough with her, I lost my gall.

"Go ahead," the velvet caressed my ear as she whispered, I felt the heat in her breath. I was trembling, I felt so much tension built up, waiting for a moment like this, one I had been anticipating all day. She pulled back from my ear and looked me in the eye. I couldn't bear it any longer. I was suddenly fiery in my passion. I was kissing her furiously, my hands were grabbing at her, pulling her against me, wanting more of her, I felt her smile, she was keeping up with me at the breakneck pace I was moving. Her hands were rough on my chest, her nails grazed my neck and back. I nibbled her neck and ears, giving her hair a soft tug. She moaned gently, digging her nails into my back, this only made me want her more. The fire was in me now, burning, I wanted her to give herself to me and this was the first step. My hands moved around to the front of her and my fingers were coarse against her chest now, I pinched and twisted as her chest rose and fell under my hands. I leaned in and trailed kisses down her chest, one arm curled around behind her and held her to me as I began to use my mouth. Her hands were on my scalp and trailing over my shoulders, I could hear her short, sharp breaths.

"Stop," it was barely audible, she was breathless, I obeyed and slowly recovered until I was almost face to face with her again. She was flushed and breathing hard, her eyes were closed. I felt proud of myself.

"You're blushing," I said, grinning, she panted a bit slower and gave me bedroom eyes as she opened them.

"Don't get too cocky," she said simply, finally recovered but still flushed. "I wasn't expecting you to come on so strong."

If I could have grinned any wider, I would have. She held out one of her hands, "give me your hand." I obeyed, she guided it to that familiar place between us, where it had been the last time. "Be gentle." I was as slow and gentle as I could be, feeling her skin part easily at my fingertips. I felt her breathing change momentarily before she tugged on my arm and pulled my hand back up out of the water. I was confused, had I done something wrong?

"Rub your fingers together," she penetrated me with her stare, I blinked a few times, confused, looking to my hand and back to her. "Do it," her eyes glistened. I rubbed my thumb against my fingertips, they were slick and slid easily. "Do you feel that?" I nodded, unsure of where she was going with this, I had noticed it before. "Now put your hand underwater and do it." She submerged my hand and I did it again, noticing this time that it dissipated and I was only feeling my fingertips rubbing together. "See the difference?" I nodded again. "Never, ever, in water," she said simply, "or it will feel just like that." I blinked a few times before she realized something, "You've never done that have you?"

"No," I said simply, "we didn't do that before."

"By yourself?" she looked at me critically

I shook my head, she chuckled and shook her head, "We will have to fix that, but.." she trailed off, taking my hand once again, guiding it back down, "First, I'm going to teach you something else." Her fingers were on top of mine, guiding me, but this time, we stopped short of where we had last time. "Here," she said, pressing my hand against her, I felt folds beneath my fingertips. "Be very careful, this area is particularly sensitive, the water is going to make it even worse than usual." I could feel her beginning to breath harder again, she was nervous but she was trusting me, just as I had done with her. One of her hands was planted against the back of my neck and the other released the hand she had so carefully placed. Her eyes were staring into the waters, I could see the apprehension in her face. Part of me wondered if she had ever done this before.

"Skye," I said gently, her gaze lifted to mine and I could see fear in her eyes, "I won't hurt you. I promise." She placed one hand on my face and her eyes searched mine for a moment. I pulled her against me and kissed her, I was as gentle as I could be when I started. I felt her stomach tighten and she let out a small moan, but it seemed as though she was adapting as I continued. I kept kissing her and felt her body responding to my touch, her stomach would clench and her hips would buck, she would gasp or let out a small moan. I had her, I commanded her, she was giving herself to me, willingly. I loved it. I continued, as softly and gently as I could, I could feel that fire inside me, wanting her, but I restrained it. I had promised not to hurt her and I knew I would be if I lost control. Finally, her whole body clenched and I felt her breathing hard, her arms clenched around me, she throbbed beneath my fingers, then I felt all the tension leave her body, I stopped. My hand slid up over her stomach, over her hip and around her back, gently running up her spine. My face was tucked against her chest, I felt her heart pounding inside it. I felt the strength leaving her arms, she released me from her death grip and I could feel her trembling. The water was only lukewarm compared to the heat coming from her body. I let my hands wander gently over her, all her curves. I traced gentle kisses on her arms, her neck, her chest. Her hand reached up and ran through my hair, I looked up at her. I will never forget the look she gave me, the softness in her eyes, the gentleness in her touch. She leant in and kissed my forehead softly. My arms tightened around her and I hugged her against me.

"Thank you," her voice was even smoother than usual, even softer, "for not hurting me."

I released her and looked into those green eyes,

"Skye, I..." her finger fell on my lips, she shook her head.

"No," she said gently, "We're not done yet, no talking until I'm done with you." her fingertips ran from my neck under my chin, guiding me to her, she began to kiss me softly.

"When I'm done with you," she said inbetween kisses, "You will be speechless." I was intrigued, but if not talking was what she wanted, I would gladly oblige. She slipped off my lap and submerged herself in the warm water, coming up a moment later and running her hands through her long, blonde hair. I was supposed to be washing, so I figured it would probably be wise of me to do similarly, I rinsed my hair and the rest of my body that had not yet been submerged. She began to walk out of the spring, I followed. She stood at the cloth bag and retrieved two towels and a thin blanket. She tossed a towel to me, I felt my skin chill to the night air and it was a welcome change to dry off. I watched her lay out the blanket and begin to dry herself as well.

"How did you know about this place?" I asked.

"We found it a few days after we stopped to camp, and we come out here to wash, since the water is warm." She folded the towel and put it back in the bag, she held out her hand for mine as well, I handed it back. She folded that one as well and replaced it before turning back to me. "Now," she said, walking towards me authoritatively, I could even more clearly see the sway of her hips, I grinned watching her close the gap between us. "It's my turn." the darker tones of her voice caressed my ears. Her arms wrapped around me and she began to kiss me voraciously. She pulled me towards her, towards the blanket she had laid out. She turned me harshly and lifted up one of my legs to her hip before bending her knees. I practically toppled to the ground, but she didn't let me fall, she laid me out softly before her, still straddling her hips, I felt her shift against me and I waited for her to continue but she didn't. I looked at her, puzzled. She smiled that evil smile.

"Were you expecting something?"

I was almost a little frustrated that she had stopped, she slowly leaned back in against me, I felt myself tremble.

"Sometimes," her voice caressed my ear as her lips grazed it, "It's better to kill someone with kindness." She trailed gentle kisses down my neck and chest. My heart was pounding and I was breathing hard. Unlike the coarseness I had used on her, her lips and mouth were gentle on my chest, her fingertips soft, caressing. I felt her hands move up my legs softly, tracing my hips, back, and arms. Her mouth, lips, and tongue, moved over me with a measure of gentleness I thought would kill me. My entire body was trembling by the time she was done. I felt her shift and move down my body, she left a soft trail of kisses down my chest, stomach and down below my navel. She had spread my legs and was kissing the insides as she had done before, I didn't think I could tremble any harder, the anticipation was killing me, I wanted to scream. Her lips and tongue moved against me and I gasped, but it was very brief, clearly her intention was not to do the same thing we had previously. She leant back in over me and kissed me softly, her long hair cascaded around her face and mine. She pulled back and looked at me, "I'm going to do something," she touched my face softly, "It's going to hurt, but then it will feel good." she paused staring into me, "Do you trust me?" She was searching again, deep in my eyes for some kind of response, some hint of what I was thinking. She was so beautiful, so captivating, I couldn't believe I was here in her arms, staring into those green eyes.

"Of course." I nodded. She raised her hand to her mouth and licked her fingers.

"Try to relax and breathe," she instructed, I felt her hand moving towards its final destination. I took a deep breath. I felt her moving closer and closer until she reached where she needed to be. "Relax," she said, making small circles with her fingertips, it felt so good, I felt the tension leave my body. I think she sensed this, she began to press against me, I grimaced as she continued to press. It was a horrible pain, as though I had been stabbed with something burning and sharp. My eyes watered, and I was breathing fast. This was horrible, why would anyone ever want to do this? "Relax, Nova," she said calmly, "Once you do, it will be less painful." I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing, the pain was dissipating slowly, I hoped soon it would disappear completely. "I want you to take two, slow, deep breaths." I opened my watery eyes and looked into hers, I trusted her, I wanted her, I had to do this, I had to get through it. I took one and let it out slowly, she leaned in against me and began to kiss my neck, "Good, one more." My chest inflated with some difficulty as she was leaning against me, but deflated with ease. I felt her hand begin to move, she was igniting a fire inside me, not a good one, a painful one. I was about to open my mouth and begin to plead with her to stop when the pain turned to pleasure. The words I was about to speak turned into a sigh, she chuckled and kissed me softly. The motion had begun small but her movements were becoming larger, faster. My body began to respond with twitches, I felt my stomach contract. I was finally relaxing and I didn't want her to stop, she continued, speeding up over time, I felt the same building I had felt previously but this seemed more intense, it took longer to build up. I was shameless as my hips bucked against her, my body was pleading for more. I let out a small moan, feeling the energy unfurling inside me before it left my body in pulses. All the energy I had was gone, I felt the heat and sweat on my body, on hers, from the friction between us. She kissed me softly, even as I was panting. I felt her hand slip away from me, I recoiled, feeling some pain as she did so, and it left me with a dull ache. She held her hand up before me, two of her fingers had blood on them. She looked at them and then back to me,

"The hallmark of a virgin."

"Is that bad?" I asked, still breathing hard

She shook her head and licked her fingers,

"It's normal, know it when you see it."

I was truly spent, I wasn't sure if I was shaking from exhaustion or exhilaration, adrenaline or effort. I reached up and wiped sweat from my forehead. She shifted from on top of me to next to me, laying back in a heap next to me, she was staring up at the stars. I sat for a moment in silence, just calming myself, 

"Skye?" I turned to her

"Yes?" Her eyes were already on me, looking through me, into me.

"I uh," I began to stumble, again the silver-tongue was going to waste, completely useless against this beautiful woman who was next to me, looking into my darkest secrets and deepest desires. I decided to rephrase, "Why did you stop me from talking?"

"I knew what you were going to say," she said simply, she turned away, "It's best not to speak at those times."

I was puzzled and, admittedly, a little hurt, did she really know what I was about to say? I was about to open my mouth to ask her another question, but she spoke before I could.

"Passion and lust will make you say things you do not mean, things better left unsaid than spoken at a moment like that."

"What makes you think I'd say something I don't mean?" I was a little bit offended at this idea, but she was right. In hindsight, people say all sorts of things when they're burning with passion. I would learn this with time. She had known, as she did from the very start, and she was unwilling to hear it. "Skye, I..." She rolled over and placed a finger against my lips again.

"Stop," she said simply, "You cannot say these things," I didn't see anger, I didn't see disagreement in her eyes, I saw pain, I saw conflict.

"Why not?"

She shook her head, dissatisfied,

"You already know why, nothing can happen between us, nothing of substance. I told you last time, we cannot have a relationship." her tone was sharp, it stabbed me. My heart sank and my chest began to fill with an emptiness.




Nova's Journey Pt. 02



I shook my head,

"How can you so easily deny your heart?"

She reached out and touched my face, I was lost in her gentleness,

"You are so young, and so simple. I wish I still possessed that child-like quality, that exuberance and disregard for the rules." the tenderness in her eyes hurt me, she was looking into my soul, seeing the ways I burned for her, and claiming that she had no equal to offer me. "Things once said, once uttered into being, become physical, become real." her hand was tracing my chin, her fingertips ran down my neck, I felt my hair stand on end. "This cannot be real, Nova, it can't become real. I cannot lose myself to you. This is where it ends"

If there were ever a moment in my life that I would point at and define, this would be it. This was heartbreak. I couldn't hold myself back at that moment. I was so lost in what this meant that I didn't notice myself crying. The tears came silently as the words cut into my mind and my heart. The bonds I had felt so strongly, the connection. I had held this woman in my arms as she had told me her life story, she had been the first to touch me, the first I had ever wanted, the first I had given myself to. She owned my heart and there she stood before me, denying her ownership of it. How was this real? How could it be happening to me? She pulled away from me and stood. I felt the sobs rack my body, I put my hands over my face and laid there for a moment, breathless. I tried to argue with myself, it wasn't as though I could claim I hadn't seen this coming, she had said it before. But the whole day she had been around me, she had hugged me, kissed me, why was she so affectionate when she knew she wasn't supposed to be? What had the purpose of that been? What cruel game was this woman playing? I did my best to stop and stood, rubbing my eyes red, and began to dress. She said nothing, still dressing herself. I stood, facing away from her, and the light, fixing my hair.

"Nova,"

I didn't respond, I knew full well if I spoke I would erupt in tears.

"Nova," she said again, louder this time, I finished adjusting my hair and stood with my hands balled into fists. I heard her feet shifting the sand behind me, her hand touched my shoulder. "No-."

I harshly moved out of her grasp and turned to face her.

"Please understand that this is for the best." she said very gently, "You can't do this job if you love someone that deeply."

I was angry, I felt the fury burning in my chest now.

"How do you know!?" I screamed at her, "What makes you think I can't?" I had degenerated into sobs again and stood there rubbing my face.

"Nova," she said softly, "you're too soft." I looked to her through the tears, "Too innocent, too sweet." I thought for a moment I heard her voice shaking but I thought for sure I must be imagining it. She reached out to touch my face, but this time I didn't fight. "I love that about you," she croaked, I saw tears welling up in her eyes. "We can't.. we can't do this," she shook her head. I reached out and hugged her against me. "You can't have this attachment to me, it won't work."

"Who are you trying to convince?" I asked soberly

She laughed, still wrapped tightly in my arms, I was afraid to let her go, that this would be the last time I'd ever have her in my arms. 

"Both of us I suppose." she pulled back from me, but I wouldn't release her, my hands stayed on her keeping her close. She leant back in, against my forehead, "Nova, you're going to have to sleep with other people. Just like I do." I shivered at the concept, for the first time I began to understand. Discomfort was building inside me. "All day, I go out and I sleep with other people, with strange men, and sometimes with women." I felt fury now, rage and anger building. Other people were touching her, were doing to her the things I did, the things I wanted to do. It must have shown on my face, she stopped her explanation and pointed to me. "I can already it in your face. What you're feeling right now, that anger, that fury. All the jealousy." I shook my head but she was right and I knew it. "This is why we can't do this, why we can't be together. Sex is an act, Nova, that is all it is. You need to learn that sooner than later. You need to leave your comfort zone, the imaginary place where sex is love. It isn't always, and it doesn't have to be. Sex can be an act of passion, of anger, of pure emotion, or it can be as hollow and empty as going through the motions. It doesn't imply love, it isn't love." For some reason, this made me feel better, even though I can't place exactly why. I was still scared of experiencing this with other people, but it calmed me to know that these activities that she partook with so many different people meant nothing to her. 

"Then these tears, this fear, this emptiness at what you told me, is this love?"

She smiled, chuckling gently, she closed her eyes and shook her head. She kissed my forehead and put her forehead back to mine. "Yes, Nova, it is." she sighed, "It is a beautiful, awful gift. A curse. It tears at your very soul. It brings the most happiness and the most pain. It makes you stupid and gives you disregard, but for that person, that one person, you see everything, you know everything, you would do anything." I opened my eyes, the fluid gracefulness of her voice had brought me to tears. I couldn't help but notice her gaze on me, her eyes seeping into me. For once I was apprehensive to meet them, I tried to turn away but she took my face in her hands and I could see the softness once again in her eyes. "Anything." she whispered, her thumb ran over my cheek and I felt her lean into me, her soft lips caressing mine. I was desperate for her and I didn't want to let her go, but she released me and I had no energy left to fight her. My emotions were so torn, I wasn't sure how to feel.

"You will have experiences with other people, you will sleep with them, hold them, experience them for who they are. As will I." she paused for a moment, "It is good to learn and to adapt, you will need to learn as much as you can from everyone who is willing to teach you. If you really wish to become one of us, you will have to learn the things I just told you and put them into motion."

I nodded,

"Sex is just an act," I repeated, sighing.

"Yes,"

"It is emotion, and it is not emotion. It is love, but it is not love, nor does it have to be."

She nodded,

"Love is what I feel for you."

Her eyes widened with disbelief that I had spoken, despite being told not to. I didn't believe her concept, that not speaking it would make it go away, it already burned inside me and if I didn't express it I already knew it would consume me from the inside out. Still, she remained silent, just staring at me as I spoke to her.

"Love is what binds me to you, love is why I offer myself to you, willingly. Love is why I will promise to be yours, even if only in heart and soul, though neither of us can promise our bodies." I took her hand and placed it on my chest. "I will become the best I can, I will learn, I will experience all there is to experience, but my heart will always beat for you, even if you tear it from my chest."

She looked at me for a moment and cocked her head chuckling, 

"You're such a romantic." she said, her hand slipping from my chest around my back and pulling me to her, "I love that about you," her eyes burned into me only momentarily as she began to kiss me.



Nova's Journey Pt. 03



It's finally here, the third installment. I must admit, I have some eager fans and I'm flattered to death by all the attention this story is getting. Thank you all so very much for the continued support through votes/favorites/comments, I appreciate each and every single one. You are all awesome, there is more to come, enjoy :)

*****

Chapter 7

Despite her adamant belief that we could not be together, that we could not be involved or in a relationship of any sort; I had promised myself to Skye and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I knew, even being so young, even if we had only had a couple experiences, even though we had not known each other for long, she was it for me. She was my woman, my goddess, the one. I knew she would hold my heart and I would never take it back from her. Perhaps it was my own fervor that pushed her, that persuaded her to follow her heart as well, despite her better judgment and wiser means. Regardless, I felt secure in knowing that, despite all her arguing otherwise, despite the rules, despite the conflict between her emotions and her logic, she was still looking at me as though I was the only other person to walk the earth. She was still holding me in her arms, kissing me with her gentle kisses and staring into me with her deep eyes. We burned for each other and, if she hadn't insisted otherwise, I would have taken her again. We were being waited on, and we needed to return to continue, I padded next to her in the sand back towards the caravan.

The giant hole she had blown into my chest earlier, with her arguments, was closing, but it did not close all the way. While I gained some security, some reassurance from her current state, I knew the truth. I knew what was waiting for both of us, and I harbored some resentment that others would be involved. I knew I had to find a way to let it go and I knew Skye would be doing the same for my sake. 

We closed in on the caravan and made our way back to the tent. I entered to find all of the women standing in a circle, fully robed with their veils. Skye directed me to the center of the circle and walked gently past me to the head of the circle, where she turned to face me. Another of the women stood next to her, holding a ceramic cup that was steaming. Skye removed her veil once again, staring into my soul. 

"Welcome, initiate," her voice was smooth amongst the cacophony of echoes from the other women. "We, the women of the Cerulean Order, invite you to join us. In order to do so you must take three vows. Do you accept?"

"Yes,"

"Repeat after me," she paused, "I swear loyalty to my sisters,"

I repeated,

"I swear respect for my equals,"

This as well,

"I swear to complete the job no matter what the cost,"

Finally I repeated this.

"In order to become one of us, you must complete this ritual. You will drink this nectar," she turned, taking the cup from the other woman and holding it in front of her, "This nectar given to us by nature and made into the sweetest tea. Your senses will overwhelm you and you will be born again, we will make you a clean slate to be written once again." 

This concept scared me, what was this? What was going to happen? What kind of overwhelming senses could I possibly experience? But I reminded myself, I had been told to go to the new experiences, to learn from them, and this was Skye, I trusted her. What else would I do? I had to join them or I wouldn't be able to stay.

"Do you accept?"

"Yes,"

"Then drink," she handed me the cup with two hands, I took it from her gingerly and blew on it momentarily before I began to drink it. It was sweet, I could taste the honey and the tang of ginger, it tasted like an herbal tea, I wondered what 'nectar' was in it, or if there was at all. I finished the cup and handed it back to Skye, she handed it to the woman next to her. By this time I was feeling dizzy, slightly lightheaded. The room was shifting around me, even though I was stationary, I began to feel as though I had been upside down too long, my head felt swollen and full of pressure. Sky reached out and grabbed me, I realized I was swaying on my feet. 

"Now," she said, "we will remove your clothes and begin,"

I was still punch drunk, I looked around me as the other women began pulling at my clothes, removing them from me. For some reason, my inhibitions were gone, I wondered if perhaps they had slipped me some of the bitter alcohol that my father drank. I had only once slipped in and drank some of it, it had left me in much a similar state of mind. The women were all around me, I could barely make out their words now, it was as though the entire world had gone blurry around me. Skye still stood before me, holding me up, now her hands were beneath my armpits, keeping me standing. I felt myself becoming heavy, as though I was made of metal. My legs gave way and my vision became dark. I prayed that this was normal, that I was not about to die, that Skye had not accidentally given me too much. I felt myself slump to the ground, but the women were still holding on to me, they gently let me fall, I felt myself slipping away into sleep.

I awoke on my knees, it was pitch dark and I noticed that I could not hear. It was as though I was underwater and listening to conversations occurring above the water, everything was blurred. I felt hands, what I thought were hands at least, what felt like hands. Many of them, all over. Someone caressed my face, my neck, another gently rubbed my chest, another my back, a couple even ran down my legs, all the way to my ankles. Despite the horrible position, being blinded and being deaf, it became enjoyable. Lips fell on mine and began to kiss me, although I had no idea who it was, I prayed it was Skye and did my best to imagine it was her before me. My body had begun to tremble, the sensations were so intense, the hands were becoming bolder, touching more and more, making me shiver as they reached places before only accessible to Skye. The strong sensations supported the sense of reckless abandon that was flooding over me, I was giving myself to these hands, these people, whoever they were, moving against them, pleading for more, even though my own voice was unintelligible to my ears. As the sensations peaked, I noticed them becoming more faint, their effectiveness began to decrease, I felt my body beginning to go numb and my hearing was getting stronger, the voices were slowly becoming clear. I heard them around me, talking, to my dismay, I couldn't identify Skye. 

"I can hear," I said gingerly, almost afraid to hurt my now almost overly tender ears.

The talking stopped suddenly, I heard footsteps moving around me on the soft bedding. I felt hot breath on my ears, both of them. Then a voice like dark silk, as smooth as Skye's but deeper, darker in tone, spoke to me, "This is your sense of hearing," the voice gently caressed my left ear, "You will be reborn with a new sense of hearing," the voice had moved to my right ear and was gently breathing against me. "You will love what we have in store for you, the things we will do." the sound was intoxicating as it was almost whispered into my right ear. Someone was nibbling my left ear, using their lips and teeth to bring me to heights I didn't think imaginable from a voice and a gentle nibble. It switched, the right ear was being nibbled and the left was being cooed into by the dark velvet voice, how could this be so good? But the voice began to fade, along with the intense sensation of the nibbling and I became aware of the earthen smell around me. 

I began to sniff, I heard something said, although it was very muffled, and I was lifted to my feet. I stood, naked and cold, faintly feeling the bedding beneath my feet. I could make out the aftertaste of the drink I had previously had in my mouth. I felt warmth against the front of my body and a strong smell as I leaned forward to investigate I felt the hot breath of the other woman on me, on my neck and chin, I felt her cheek slip against mine. Her perfume was on her neck and I was drawn to it, she wrapped her arms around me and I did the same to her, primarily for support to remain standing, but also because she smelled so beautiful. My nose ran along her neck, back up to her ear and I felt her shiver and could make out a sigh as I felt her chest fall against my own. 

My lips and nose skimmed down the other side of her neck and feeling her respond beneath my touch brought me a strong sense of satisfaction, her smell was intoxicating. She smelled of rosemary and plant oils, I could smell herbs and other plants, she smelled green like the great forests we had wandered into when I was younger. I felt her hand on my face, guiding me away from the nape of her neck and up to her, I felt her lips on mine. I hesitantly kissed her back until I began to taste the mint in her mouth. She must have put a couple mint leaves into her mouth before she did this, her taste was so strong. I felt her mouth open against mine and what I figured were the leaves landed against my tongue. I breathed hard, the mint burned, it was so strong, but it soon faded as well. The woman released me and moved away, I stood easily now. 

My vision began to get lighter and I began to make out colors before me. I blinked and squinted, trying to see anything in front of me, but I could make out nothing. I closed my eyes, waiting, giving it time to come back to me. I opened them slowly, letting my eyes focus as everything came to me, still very dim. Skye was before me, just as bare as I was, she looked into my eyes and smiled gently, I could see she was much more happy that she would, or could, let on. Her shape and the shape of everything around her became sharper. I smiled at her and stepped towards her, reaching out and pulling her to me. I ran one hand over her face, watching the black lines around the outside of her eyes sharpening as the contrast between the highs and lows in her eyes was amplified. 

The whole world was turning into bright colors, the likes of which I had never experienced, but I was completely unimpressed. The voices were still speaking around me in their gibberish, but I only had eyes for the beautiful woman in my arms. I didn't care what they thought, or what the rules were, I had her here, with me now. The world was becoming too bright, and Skye was far too light as it was. I mouthed what I really wanted to say, as I knew it would be gibberish if I spoke it, I hoped she understood. I leaned in to kiss her as the bright light drowned all the colors left from my vision until everything turned back to blackness.

As I came back to reality, I felt myself lying down and realized I was slowly waking up. The earthy smell around me was familiar and I could feel the warm sunlight landing on my face. I took a deep breath and it felt as though I was breathing for the first time, the air was cool. I laid there for a moment, taking in everything all over again, as if it was all new.

"You're awake,"

I turned my head to see who it was, Embry stood before me, robed in blue, but without her veil.

"Yes," I responded hoarsely

She laughed,

"You had quite a bit of fun last night," she crossed her arms, "Then again, so did we. It's been a while since anyone joined us and I rather enjoy these ceremonies." She was stepping towards me, I thought for a moment she would step close to me and kick me to get out of bed, but she did no such thing and only chuckled as I grimaced. "Relax," she said simply, "I'm not going to attack you." she knelt beside me and felt my head, as though I had a fever, I could only sit and stare at her, her hands were rough, undoubtedly from work, but gentle in their touch. "The tea can have adverse effects if it stays in your system too long. It can make you very ill, but you seem to be doing just fine." her hand left my forehead and ran over my face gingerly. "Your voice is a little rough still, but that's normal. How do you feel?" For the first time since I met her, I saw genuine concern on her face.

"I think I'm alright," I sat up slowly, feeling the cool air on my exposed skin, I was still undressed. I half expecting the room to begin spinning, as it had the last time I had felt so out of it from drink. I blinked a few times and she looked me over. 

"Open your mouth," she commanded, she examined my mouth and tongue, she pinched the skin on the back my hands and watched as it settled, she tugged on my face and looked at the whites of my eyes, finally, she felt my neck with her hands. I closed my eyes and relaxed as she did, it felt so nice, almost like a massage. My sense of touch seemed much stronger than it had been, which scared me somewhat after all the time Skye had spent telling me that I was sensitive. 

I opened my eyes and Embry was very close to me, she stared into my eyes for a moment before her glance fell to my lips. Her mouth curled into a smile, "I'm going to have a lot of fun with you." I felt myself leaning in towards her and I was somewhat shocked when I realized what I was thinking. I was feeling something. My body was responding, telling me what to do, not my mind. I was not being controlled by the heart that loved Skye, I was being controlled by the want in the pit of my stomach, and the warmth between my legs. What had these people done to me? What the hell was in that drink? Her fingertips grazed my lips and it took my breath away. 

"Fascinating," she muttered, "Even despite your feelings for Skye, you sit here before me, begging for me." Her words were sharp but I was distracted, the want inside me was beckoning. I was panting now, it was so intense. "Well," she said simply, inching in 'till was so close I could almost feel her lips speaking against mine "I suppose I owe you for last night." I heard her chuckle and felt her lips against mine. I reached out and grabbed hold of her, pulling her to me, she stumbled from her kneeling position into my lap. It was like electricity all over, I had felt it at moments with Skye but this was different, much more intense than it had ever been. These were not the soft, gentle kisses, these were fervent, wanting. I felt her tongue slip into my mouth and tasted something familiar: mint. It was Embry who had held me as my sense of smell took over last night. I felt one of the leaves slip into my mouth from her tongue. I stopped and stared at her,

"It was you," I said, shocked.

"Don't look so surprised," she grinned at me, leaning back in, letting her body press against mine as her lips and tongue ran up my neck, I felt myself shiver and my breathing sped up. "We all have skills." she whispered against my cheek. My face fell to her neck, remembering how she had responded last night to even just a gentle touch. She still smelled strongly of plant oils, of rosemary, she was earthy and my senses wanted to take her all in. There was fire in my chest, burning, raging inside me, wanting to take this woman, to make her mine, but I heard Skye's voice in my mind, reminding me. 

"Sometimes it's better to kill someone with kindness" 

I took a deep breath and began very gently, my lips gentle on her neck, moving up towards her ear, she sighed and I felt her tug on my hair with one hand. My hands rubbed her back tenderly, I nibbled her ear gently with my teeth, she was breathing hard now, tugging at me, I could feel that she didn't want me to stop. I made a point to drag on, painfully slowly, as my lips and tongue moved over her ear and back down her neck where I had started. I could feel her chest pounding against mine, she was trembling much the way I had when Skye had done this to me. I knew it was working. I felt her nails dig into my skin when I would nibble harder or my lips would close around somewhere particularly sensitive. I bit down gently at the nape of her neck and she gasped, I felt her hand slide up my neck into my hair, her nails tracing along my scalp, pulling me against her. Her breathing was ragged and she breathed hard into my ear trying to speak,

"Do you want me?"

She wouldn't release me, I was still buried in her neck, breathing hard as well.

"Say it," she whispered in my ear. "Do you want me?"

I took a moment to breathe and let her do the same, when I pulled away from her this time to look her in the eye, she released me. She was very flushed and still breathing hard, but there was something about her, something in that moment that made her beautiful in my eyes. She wasn't bad looking, but we had been more rivals than anything, she was like an older sister, nagging me about this and that. But she wasn't anymore, this woman I held in my arms had wants, needs, desires. She wasn't the person I knew from a social standing, she wasn't another woman from the Cerulean Order, she was just another woman like me. I couldn't attach meaning to her, or status, or anything else. The only thought coursing through my mind was how much I wanted her and how much I wanted to please her. I reached past her face and tugged at the ribbon holding her brown hair back, it came loose and I discarded it to one side, her hair cascaded down her shoulders. I smiled,

"You need to wear your hair down more often," I looked to her long straight hair then back to her face, she looked a little discouraged that I hadn't answered her question, "You're beautiful, Embry." She closed her eyes and shook her head, her gaze fell to one side, she was about to turn and stand up when I caught her arm and pulled her back, she turned back to me with tears in her eyes. I was taken aback that she could be so hurt by me, I had meant no harm. I reached up and took her face in my hand. "Embry," I said softly, "I do want you." She stared at me in disbelief for a moment, but I pulled her in and kissed her deeply. 

There was no more soft and gentle, I had a mission now, the mission was to prove to her how much I wanted her, to take her. I was fervent and rough now, I reached behind her and quickly undid the clasps on her boustier, pulling it from her and feeling her skin on mine. I undid and tugged on her belt, feeling the silk unwrap of its own accord from her waist. My hands moved over her, egged on by her responses, her moans, her heavy breathing. I slowed, however, I knew I needed to start gentle for the next part, mostly because of my inexperience. I gently moved up the inside of one leg with my hand, feeling moisture against my fingertips. I began to rub gently, she let out a small moan, and I began kissing her neck once again. She sighed and trembled slightly as I slowly sped up, my other hand was intent on her chest, matching the pace.

"I don't think you understand how much I want you," I whispered into her ear, I was becoming more bold, my touches were becoming more harsh, faster. She moaned. "I'm going to do everything in my power to prove it to you" I could feel everything beneath my fingertips, she was shifting against me now, trying to get more from me. Her hands clasped my shoulders tightly so she could shift completely, she leant up onto her knees to get more motion. She was panting furiously, trembling, sweating, I sped up more and she let out a long cry burying her face into my neck but still moving rapidly against me, I felt her shaking. She finally stopped, so I did the same. She was panting against me, breathing hot breaths on my neck, I could feel the heat from her face on my shoulder. 

I slipped my hand out from between us and ran it over my tongue, I was curious to know what it tasted like, I still hadn't tasted it. Embry was exhausted, her eyes were closed and she was still panting, I ran my hands over her gently. My back was beginning to hurt supporting all her weight, I slowly laid back against the bedding, she was stretched out over me. I was still touching her gently, tracing her curves. Her hair was a dark brown, it had more texture than Skye's but it was straight, not curly or wavy, it fell completely flat over her. Embry's skin wasn't so pale she could be a ghost, she was simply light. I laid there for a few moments, admiring her, she was pretty. She chuckled into my ear gently.




Nova's Journey Pt. 03



"What?"

She opened her eyes, they were hazel, dark browns and greens mixed together creating a forest in her eyes. She smiled at me,

"I wasn't expecting that."

I laughed, turning back to the roof of the tent,

"Neither was I."

She shifted, moving off of me and sitting up on her elbows next to me.

"I can see the influence Skye has had on you," she said giving me a long stare, clearly she had learned that from Skye as well, the penetrating look. "You have a gentleness in your touch very similar to hers and many of your techniques are stolen." she said accusingly.

I felt a little uncomfortable for a moment, wondering if this would turn into a fight, but I began to realize what she was saying. She was not actually accusing me, she was stating a fact, and, if anything, I should be glad for the help. 

"I know," I said simply, "I need more experience."

She smiled at me,

"You're finally starting to learn."

She stared at me intently,

"We should do this again sometime," she smiled and stood, dressing. I shifted, sitting up and putting my hands down so I could stand. She shoved me gently and I toppled back into the bedding. 

"You're still not recovered yet, you need to rest more." 

"But I want to get up," I whined.

"You need to rest," she said simply, "besides, you will need your energy for tonight, sleep." She finished putting on her boustier and tossed her veil over her before heading out the door. I wanted to get up, I really did, but I was so sleepy all of a sudden. My arm was hurting where she had pushed me and I lifted it up to find a small wooden dart embedded in my skin. Undoubtedly a sleeping dart.

"We all have skills." I heard her voice echo in my mind, as I slipped away into sleep. 

Chapter 8

I must have slept for hours, when I finally awoke there was a chill to the air and the tent was dimming.

"Well, look who slept the day away."

I sat up quickly, covering myself with the blanket. It was a knee jerk response to having lived with my father for so many years, so when I stared at the feet of someone draped in blue, I was somewhat surprised until I gained my bearings again. She was unveiled and those familiar green eyes put me at ease.

"It seems Embry has been in to see you," she said, pointing to the dart still embedded in my arm. She laughed, stepping towards me and bent beside me to pull the dart. I cringed as she pulled the 

dart from my arm. She held it up for me to see, it looked like the picks my father and the other men often used on their teeth, it had a single red band around the end of it. "She always did have a knack for poisons." Skye muttered, as she stood and walked to the doorway, flicking it out the door. A trickle of blood ran down my arm. I licked my hand and rubbed it. "How did you do with her?"

I was suddenly flushed, remembering what had occurred earlier and how I had lost myself in it. I felt somewhat embarrassed to give a full explanation to Skye. She must have noticed, she smiled and chuckled to herself.

"Did it go that well?" she asked, returning to my side and sitting comfortably next to me.

"Well...I..." I still couldn't find the words.

"If you're having trouble speaking then I assume it was good." She said leaning towards me and touching my chin gently, "You will have to show me later what she taught you." Her eyes pierced me to the heart. 

"She hasn't taught me anything new yet," I said, having suddenly found my voice again.

"Oh?" Skye looked surprised, "I figured if she had to give you a sleeping dart then you must have worn her out."

I laughed nervously, I wasn't sure if she was right about that or not, she had seemed to escape pretty quickly after things had ended.

"Did she talk to you at all?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did she tell you about herself?"

"No," I hadn't thought too much of it, I assumed she probably wouldn't. She didn't know me very well and we hadn't spoken much yet.

Skye smiled and shook her head, staring at the ground,

"Perhaps, she will open up to you with time." her eyes turned back to me gently, she began to stand to leave.

"Wait," I said, scrambling to my feet, I thought for a moment about grabbing the blanket but abandoned the idea as it was difficult enough to stand. "That drink you gave me, what did it do to me?"

"Finding yourself feeling different?" she put her hand on her hip and grinned at me,

"Everything around me is different, as though it's new again." I said rubbing my still pounding head.

"The drink, although I can't tell you what's in it, is made to make you vulnerable. It has various ingredients that will bring out your senses."

I nodded,

"The colors are brighter, the sounds louder, the smells..." I shivered remembering Embry.

"And tastes?" she grinned, "So you figured out who that was."

I nodded, still feeling guilty.

"It's harder than you thought, isn't it?" Her expression was suddenly serious

I felt myself begin to sweat suddenly, I was nervous at what she might say next. That perhaps she might decide that this whole idea was too much for me, or her, or both of us.

"I feel really guilty doing these things with other people," I said uncomfortably, "It makes me feel disloyal."

She laughed and walked towards me, she wrapped her arms around me. It felt so good to be back in her arms.

"I have to admit," she said quietly, "I'm feeling jealous knowing that Embry gets to have you for the rest of the week." She released me but remained close with her arms around me, "There is no reason to feel guilty, I assigned you to learn from Embry, and all the others as well, they are going to teach you the skills you need to know. Learn as much as you can from them, they are here to help you." 

I nodded, trying to look at things from her perspective.

She paused looking at me when I saw her eyes soften, "In the meantime, I'll be thinking of you." She smiled a devilish smile when I heard the tent flap swish and a voice from behind her.

"Hey!" it said accusingly, "She's mine, hands off!" Embry stood at the doorway to the tent, pointing towards me. Skye laughed and released me, she stepped away from me and Embry stepped forward. "At least for this week she is, no cheating!" she turned and tried to push Skye out the door. When Skye reached the door she turned back to me and winked, I had already missed whatever Embry was saying to me.

"Are you listening?" she looked at me critically

"I, uh,"

She stood with her arms crossed, but she couldn't keep a straight face looking at my expression, she chuckled,

"You're cute when you're flustered,"

This was my chance to turn on the charm, I took the last step in toward her and wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm sorry," I figured if anything, this would appeal to her.

"You're naked," she said flatly, "and you smell." She pushed me to get me away from her.

"I was asleep all day!" I argued, "No thanks to someone."

"Well then I guess you better bathe."

We both laughed, we were prodding each other at this point. 

"Alright," I resigned, "I'll go bathe, I'm sure I need it." Skye was right, maybe I should invite her to open up to me, I could learn something. I held out my hand to her, "Join me?"

She looked down at my hand, questioning, then back up into my eyes. I was asking in earnest, but she seemed hesitant. She smiled -I hoped she was realizing that I wasn't deceiving her- and took my hand. Embry, like Skye, was very good at reading people, as I would soon learn.

"Let's get you some clothes before you go outside," Embry suggested, pulling me to one corner of the tent and digging out my clothes and boots before handing them to me. She released me and I quickly dressed, they had been nice enough to fold them at least. I sat and began to pull my boots onto my feet, Embry stood next to me. "What did Skye tell you?"

I paused, a little confused,

"About what? I asked her about the drink she gave me last night,"

"Did she tell you anything about any of us? About me?"

I shook my head,

"No," I stood and dusted myself.

She nodded,

"Shall we?" she asked, this time holding out her hand.

I smiled and took it, following her to the door where she paused to put on her veil and released me.

"I can't do anything with you outside," she said to me, looking disappointed before she disappeared beneath the veil. I followed her out of the tent and we began on our way, I didn't realize it until it came into sight, but she was leading me back to the spring I had visited with Skye.

"Have you been here before?" she asked me removing her veil casually, her hair was back up again, pulled into a tight ponytail. She, like Skye, had brought provisions for the trip, some water and a couple towels in a bag, she dropped it at her feet.

"Yes," I said simply, beginning to undress, "with Skye."

She chuckled,

"I should have known, she said, reaching behind her to undo her boustier. I moved behind her and undid the rest for her, "Thank you."

I nodded and continued removing the rest of my clothing until I was undressed. Embry still beat me to the punch and was casually strolling into the spring before I was, I scrambled after her, jumping to get my boots off my feet and stumbling over my pants. She glanced back at me, chuckling,

"Relax," she said, "there's no rush."

I finagled everything off finally and left it in a heap in the sand before walking to the spring. Embry was seated already, there was a section of sandstone that I could now identify in the light. She was relaxing in the warm water with her eyes closed, she opened them, hearing me shuffle in the water, and beckoned me with a single finger. I approached her and sat next to her in the warm water, the additional work she did showed in her physique, she wasn't as curvy or soft as Skye, she was skinnier, more muscular, her body was angular but her face remained soft, she did not have sharp features, her hazel eyes were lighter in the sunlight reflecting off the water.

"So," she began, glancing at me sideways, "where are you originally from?"

I assumed she wasn't as versed as Skye, or she was testing me, but most likely the first.

"I don't know," I said simply, "I only know what my father told me: that there was a plague in my village and he found me."

"A plague." she said solemnly, "You're very fortunate, it spreads like wildfire." It was unusual to hear her so solemn and serious about everything.

"That's what my father said, he said I was the last one he could find without it."

"So the plague killed your family?"

"I suppose so."

"You don't remember?"

"No."

she shook her head, 

"the plague is a very unpleasant way to die."

I paused for a moment,

"Have you seen it before? You sound as though you lost someone to it."

She was silent for a moment, she ran a wet hand over her face and then her hazel eyes fell on me, they were intense.

"My father was a doctor, he spent years teaching me his trade. I worked with him, assisted him my whole life. Well..." she shook her head, "Until I left."

I felt nervous asking but I knew I should,

"Why did you leave?"

"He wanted me to become a doctor like him."

"Did you not want to?"

"I do want to." She spoke with such conviction I was taken aback, but I was confused, she must have sensed this, she continued her story.

"I didn't want to commit myself to a stationary life, living in a single place and taking care of many many people, without experiencing the world for myself. I wanted a chance to go out and be my own person."

"How did you find the Cerulean Order?"

"The caravan passed through my town a couple years ago and I ran into a few of these women, the men spoke of them widely. So I approached them myself, to find out why they were so alluring, so tempting, such a hot commodity." she laughed, "I had no idea I'd find myself telling my father that I was going to join them and leave with them."

"So was that your only motivation to join them? To get out?"

She shook her head,

"I was very unexposed, very much like you." Her eyes were softening as she spoke now, "I had no experience of any kind, outside of the medical, but I did have a lot of technical knowledge. I wanted to learn more, learn new things." she flushed and stared down into the water. "I wanted to make myself desirable."

"But, why wouldn't you be?" I asked earnestly

She chuckled bitterly and turned back to me,

"From my experience, the men prefer a woman who knows how to please them. That is, after all, why we stay in business."

I must have looked confused, I was, Embry was beautiful and smart, how could she be undesirable?

"You will see for yourself with time." she said simply, resigning herself from arguing with me, and decided simply to change the topic. "Skye decided that I'd be useful, since I knew medicines and have all the skills of a doctor. So she allowed me in, essentially to be a caretaker of the other women."

"So is that all you do?"

"Certainly not," she said, giving me a deviously sensual gaze, "I have other skills as well."

I felt myself perspire, even in the warm water. She was good at that, or I was particularly susceptible to it. I wasn't sure which was more accurate.

"What you did to me earlier was not medicine." I said, trying to get her gaze off me so I could resume breathing normally, it was as though she was constricting me with her gaze. 

She laughed, her eyes easing,

"It certainly wasn't, I learned some poisons as well, my father taught me some medicines that could be used however the creator chose, as well as how to distill poisons. He told me that if we were to understand them, we needed to learn how to make them and identify them in order to do what we could to treat them."

"Can you treat them?"

"It depends on a lot of things, but I do my best to be prepared."

I nodded,

"What did you give me last night and why did it do..." I paused unsure of how to continue, "Why did it make me feel so strange?" She was the correct person to ask, her knowledge of medicine and poisons, her medical knowledge, she would be able to give me a straight answer.

"I had a feeling you would ask me that," she chuckled, again wiping her face. "Do you really want to know the answer to that?"

I stopped, puzzled,

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Sometimes, once you find out the workings of something, the magic behind it is lost."

I didn't understand what she was saying at the time. Even though we were so close in age, she was far wiser than I was, she understood things I had no grasp of, she was more worldly. I don't regret my choice, however, I feel content knowing the inner workings, even of the things many people around me considered magic.

"It's a simple salve, consisting of herbs that sharpen the senses, we mix each herb with a time delaying substance and it essentially works through your system in order, accentuating each sense as it hits."

"Makes sense," I said simply, "But what I'm more interested in is why I..." I paused, blushing remembering earlier, "I feel so differently today."

"It is based with a fermented drink, that could be why you feel differently."

I had been right about that, but even when I had drank it before, I hadn't felt the way I did today.

"I don't think that's it," I said simply, "It's never done that to me before. I've never felt the way I did today."

She smiled deviously,

"This 'feeling differently' wouldn't have anything to do with me, would it?" she asked, reaching over and raising my chin with a finger. Her hazel eyes were dark as they looked into mine, I could see something below the surface, I began to sweat. I wasn't going to let her best me. I took hold of her hand beneath my chin and stared at her dead-on.

"Maybe,"

"Oooh," She chuckled, cocking an eyebrow "I like it when you flirt back." she smiled, inching closer. That familiar minty scent wafted in below my nose as she breathed closer to me. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, in my body; her lips grazed mine but she pulled away. She chuckled, she was teasing me and I knew it, I was aching for more and she was denying me. The finger on my chin had moved up over my lips.

"Now, now," she whispered to me, "not so fast."

I nibbled her fingertip gently and sighed, closing my eyes. Everything I felt was intensifying, I could feel it all building the longer she put it off, part of me hated it, but another part of me loved it. I felt her inching closer to me, our thighs touched, she was so close I could feel the heat coming off her body from the warm water. I felt one of her hands slip around my waist and pull me to her, the slickness of her skin, the sound of the water moving, and her breathing made it even better. Her fingertip had escaped me and slipped up the side of my face, her thumb grazed my bottom lip. When I looked at her again I could see the darkness in her eyes and the color in her cheeks.

"Do you always play with your food?" I whispered to her. She smiled, she was so beautiful when she smiled.

"Only the food I really like." Her lips were on mine, but they were gentle and slow. I was dying trying to hold myself back, attempting to quell the swarming ocean inside me that wanted to break free and take this beautiful woman. This woman whom I had so disliked at first, who had been so foreign, so closed away, had beauty that took time to appreciate. It wasn't that she wasn't physically attractive -she was- simply that she had much more to her: her mind, her intelligence, her depth; these were the most attractive things about her. Her harsh exterior had melted away as she let me in. Once I had become like her, she turned and instead became warm, soft, gentle, caring even. She exposed herself to me and in seeing past the simple cerulean of her robes, I saw the spectrum she contained in her soul. Her hands ran gently up my back and she held me against her, embracing me.

"Why are you so tense?" she whispered into my ear, nibbling it. I realized I was panting, all she had done was kiss me, but she had so completely worked me up I could hardly contain myself.

"What do you mean?" I asked between breaths, "I'm fine."

She chuckled gently,

"Bullshit," she whispered, "You need to relax."

"But I..."

"You're holding on to what you're feeling instead of just feeling it." she said, her fingers working gently into the muscles in my back, "Relax," she began to kiss my neck, "you're focusing on how badly you want me instead of being right here with me." her voice was so soft and gentle it almost killed me. She was right, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was very much thinking about what I wanted to do to her. Since last night I had been aggressive, wanting. Someone would light the fire and I would engulf them, I had not been a very tolerant recipient, all considering. Could I do this? Would I be able to focus on what she was doing instead of my own wants and desires? I would try, I closed my eyes and focused on her fingertips, gently moving over my back. One moist hand escaped my back and slipped up the opposite side of my neck until it reached my face and turned me gently to face her, I was certain my expression was not lying at this moment. My face was burning so thoroughly, my breathing had slowed down, I was staring at her lips as she inched closer.

"You're too intent on being the predator," she paused kissing me softly and nibbling my bottom lip, "sometimes it's better to be the prey." I felt the warm exhale on me before our lips met again. I was focused now, feeling every touch, every gentle caress, she was very, very gentle. I wondered for a moment if Skye knew just how talented Embry was, but very shortly after, I had stopped thinking. There was no longer any room for outside thoughts. Each touch dominated my senses, radiating lightning into every nerve where her skin grazed mine, where her hands moved over me. I was no longer intent on a power struggle, on taking control and manipulating her into submission. I was enjoying her using me, taking me. Her hands settled on my hips, her lips still very intent on mine, when I felt her take advantage of the water and lift me with ease until I settled in her lap. She set to work on my chest while her hands explored the curves resting in her lap. It was becoming hard to breathe, but not for the same reason it had before. I had no desire to take her, to make her mine, but every desire -with every fiber of my being- to become hers, to let her do as she pleased to me.




Nova's Journey Pt. 03



"Do you want me to stop?" she asked, looking up to me with the forest in her eyes, her hands were sliding gently up my inner thighs, teasing. "I can stop." I shook my head, breathless. "Say it," her hands were slipping away now, moving away from where I needed them most.

"No." I managed out. Never, in all my years of negotiating, had I imagined that one of the shortest sentences of my life would be the hardest. Why was it so hard to verbalize what I was feeling at this moment? Why was my power of speech being affected?

"What do you want?" her voice was getting lower, she leant in closer to me. My chest was bucking, I was still gasping for air, it was as though I was drowning and she was my air, I was struggling to return to her. 

"Please, don't stop." My voice was getting smaller, I wasn't sure my pride would allow me to continue, I was already begging. She chuckled,

"I know you don't want me to stop, but what do you want me to do?" one hand slid menacingly slowly back up where it had come from, I flinched, "I know you have a silver-tongue, so be descriptive."

She was toying with me, I didn't like it, but my faculties were still compromised. I was still aching, still wanting, and it was too intense for me to quit now. I looked her dead in the eye, I felt my face burning.

"Take me, make me yours." My voice was very low, "I want you, Embry." Her eyes glinted and for a moment I thought I saw her tear up, but a smile crept across her face and with the swiftness that she had stopped, she set back to work once again. She now worked with a fire I recognized, one familiar to me, one I had felt inside me time and time again; this time, however, I was on the receiving end, and it fulfilled me. Her hands were intent on the insides of my thighs while her mouth worked relentlessly on my chest, I was breathing hoarsely, as though I would never breathe again if I could not draw breath right now, I trembled. I felt her fingers slip between flesh and, with ease, inside me, she did so with such speed I had no time to protest or fight, no time to explain this had only been done once before and painfully. The pain was sudden but somehow it couldn't detract from what was occurring, it didn't take from the pleasure I was feeling, only added another dimension to it. 

The culmination of all my emotion: wanting, needing, giving myself to her; combined with the speed and intensity of what she was doing to me created something inside me that I had never experienced so deeply before. What had built so slowly, easily, taking time and becoming a masterpiece of tension, shattered in an instant and released all of its energy inside me. When my body finally stopped, when the tension had been released in its entirety, I was exhausted. Even Skye had not summoned this kind of intensity inside me, I collapsed in a heap in Embry's arms, shaking, panting, and sweating. She withdrew from me, it was still slightly painful but much less so than before, her arms closed around me, holding me to her. Skye was a giver, wanting to help dispel the energy still pent up to help you recover, but Embry was a protector, her arms held tightly, keeping everyone and everything out until you were able to come back to yourself. I had lost myself so completely, I had held her tightly to me until the energy had passed and left me, I still held her head against my chest, feeling her breath against my neck. I leant in and kissed her gently, 

"Thank you." I said softly, smiling now.

I felt her shake her head,

"You did well,"

"You're a very good teacher,"

She chuckled gently, 

"You're even more attractive when you beg."

"Fuck you," I laughed.

"You know you liked it," she kissed my chest gently, her eyes still dark "You'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Maybe." I smiled, looking back down at her.

"I love it when you flirt back." she leant in and kissed me softly.



Nova's Journey Pt. 04



Chapter 9

The more time I spent with Embry, the more I began to realize how I was feeling about her. It wasn't that my feelings for Skye had changed, simply that I could appreciate Embry for who she was and what she offered me. Embry was playful, easy-going, and fun, very different from how she initially presented herself. I found that I had not been a special case, she had a cold exterior to most people she met for the first time. We were close in age and had a lot in common, it was very easy to get along with her. 

The lessons began after that, I was assigned to Embry for a week to do whatever she told me to do. Thankfully, she didn't overly abuse this power, she took the time to explain to me basic medicines and poisons and how to treat people with common injuries. We spent a couple of days working with the caravan's doctor, whom I was unaware had a close friendship with Embry. He assisted in providing texts and supplies, for which he was compensated by Embry in a number of ways. I was surprised at the number of connections these women had within the caravan, I would have never imagined the myriad of ways in which they operated in order to supply themselves. It wasn't only the days that were busy, but very often the nights as well. I didn't realize it at first, but they were conditioning me, training my body to want physical attention, to be accustomed to consistent work. Embry was easing me into gleaning information from people in return for favors, we would practice each night, working carefully on wording, which questions to ask, how to ask them, and, most importantly, how to defuse a situation that was developing. All of these concepts were taught in very basic means, she was simply introducing me to them in order to assist later instructors I would have.

"Good," she smiled at me, "We're done for tonight."

I nodded and stretched, yawning.

"Don't tell me you're tired already," she gave me a devious glance from the feather bed where she was seated. 

"Not at all," I said standing and approaching her.

"You're such a bad liar," she shook her head and stretched out on the bedding. I laid out next to her on my stomach, face down, I was beat. "How did you ever make any sales?" she was just prodding me now, I sighed into the bedding.

"It was my charm," I turned to her smiling, before wrapping an arm around her and pulling her to me. She laughed, kissing me,

"Also bullshit."

I paused,

"How did you know my other secret? I'm very adept at bullshit."

She smiled and shook her head,

"If you're tired it can wait until tomorrow, I don't think it will kill you to miss one day."

I was a little shocked, granted we had been busy for almost an entire week, but this was the first time she wasn't insisting on pulling my clothes off.

"Are you being nice or are you sick of me already?" I knew if I played with her a little, she'd be more receptive. Embry was the type that if you didn't overwhelm her with seriousness, she would open up.

"I don't want to push you, that's all." she brushed some hair from her face and when her eyes fell on me they were soft, too soft. I cocked my head, looking into her eyes and seeing concern, seeing something more. Her expression changed suddenly, she turned and rolled away from me, out of my grasp. She saw that I was catching on. 

"Embry," I reached for her and put my hand on her hip

"Go to sleep," she said simply, "Tomorrow will be busy."She reached for the lantern and blew it out, placing it a small distance above her head where we wouldn't hit it. 

This wasn't good enough for me. I was impatient and young, I didn't understand when to let well enough alone and I wanted an answer. I curled up behind her and knew I had to be gentle, tactful, or I would be pushed away. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her back against me, she pulled my hand to her chest and wrapped her fingers in mine. I knew; I understood then. I didn't have to ask, I shouldn't have, but curse my curiosity, curse my need to know. I moved close to her ear, whispering,

"It's not like you to just let me off the hook like that,"

She was silent and still, but I knew she was listening.

"The way you look at me, the way you treat me, you're being too soft, I've noticed."

At this she sighed angrily, and looked over her shoulder at me,

"Do you want me to force you to do things with me every single night?" She was almost indignant, this wasn't even what I was arguing about and I was shocked she was becoming so defensive, but I should have been wiser, more understanding.

"Embry," I said flatly, "We both know you wouldn't do that."

"Oh?" She rolled on to her back, "How can you be so certain?"

"Because even when you're pissed off, you still hold my hand."

She fell silent, I felt her fingers move between mine, as if she was wondering whether or not to release me. Her chest rose and fell quickly and I could feel her heart pounding in her chest where she had me clutched against her. She sighed.

"I'm such a fool, I should have stopped the moment I knew."

My hand had escaped her grasp and landed gently on her cheek, turning her toward me. I felt her chest shake and tears on my thumb. I was terrible. My attempt to play and prod her had hurt her more than I could have ever imagined.

"I'm so sorry, I never meant to..."

She touched the outside of my hand and shook her head. 

"I know," she said, "but that doesn't make it hurt any less." I could hear it in her voice that she was trying to fight the tears.

I felt so guilty, but there had to be a way to make this right. I moved close to her this time and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to me.

"I don't need someone to tell me that I fucked up, that I did the wrong thing," she reached around me and wiped her eyes again, "I don't need you to tell me that it will be ok, or lie and tell me you feel the same." I felt her take a shaky breath. "I really don't need you to give me shit for it either."

"What do you need?"

she chuckled, pulling away gently,

"I need you." she kissed me gently and I could feel the tears falling, running down her face. I wiped them away with my hands and kept her there with me, I wasn't going to let her go. I rolled her onto her back and put myself on top of her. I reached nearby to a small bowl where she kept her mint and put one in my mouth, I felt her smile as she continued to kiss me. She sat up and pulled me into her lap. I couldn't help but chuckle, she was eager as well. She tugged at my shirt, lifting it up over my head before I reached down and began to undo her boustier. She leant into me, almost pushing me over backward, and trailed kisses down my neck to my chest as she undid my support from the front with one very skilled hand. Her lips were like silk on my skin, gentle and caressing. I glanced down to see the forest staring back at me alluringly in the dim moonlight, appropriately chasing the mildness of her lips.

"Cheater," I said breathlessly, leaning back up. She smiled deviously and supported my back as I leant back in toward her. The support slipped from me and into her hands. "Tonight it's my turn," I slipped out of her lap and reached for her belt. She was quick on the draw and was reaching for mine as well. I had become much more adept at undoing them in the last week. I pulled it from her, placing it next to her, she had already started on my pants. I was already barefoot, anticipating going to bed as it was, I wiggled my way out of my pants, kicking them away from me before I was atop her again. I reached for the mint once more, pinching it between my fingers before rubbing it gently into her skin.

"I'll never forget this," I whispered into her ear as I nibbled it and began to kiss her neck. She sighed, my hands were already at work. I hadn't abandoned the mint, using it on the more delicate parts of her chest, I felt her body responding, she trembled. I knew what I wanted to do, I just wasn't sure I'd be any good at it, I hadn't done it before. I moved slow, using what I could: my hands, lips, tongue, and body, to express how I felt. That I wanted her as well, even if it wasn't in the way she wanted. I cared about Embry, she was probably the best friend I had ever had, and I didn't want to hurt her. I felt myself moving closer to where I wanted to be and I felt her body trembling fiercely, my lips were traveling down from her navel and my hands were moving up the insides of her thighs, similarly to what she had done to me, wanting me to beg. She recognized my movements, I heard her chuckle in the darkness. 

"I'm not like you," I said, my lips were working around the insides of her legs, "I won't ask if you want me to stop or have you beg me to continue." I saw her head tilt up and her eyes looking questioningly at me in the dim light. I shook my head, knowing she could see me, "No," I said simply, moving closer, I ran my fingers over my tongue "You're going to have to beg me to stop." My fingers pressed in and I felt them sink. My tongue moved in against folds as well. She moaned and I watched her chest buck as her hips moved against me. I moved painfully slowly with my hands, pressing gently upwards. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing with my tongue, Embry sensed this.

"There, right there," she said breathlessly, her stomach clenched and I felt her tighten around my fingers. I made circles on the nub in the middle, it throbbed. I recognized it now, it was the same part on Skye that I had used my fingers on before, but this was much different. 

"Yes, like that," she moaned again, "Keep going." her hips moved against me now, much more than before. "Don't stop," I heard her say breathlessly, "Please don't stop." I continued, I wasn't going to stop. She needed this, she needed me, I would fulfill her, the way she did to me before, the way she had every night since. I felt her tense and she moaned again, I sped up, her whole body tensed and shook. I felt her constricting my fingers, and throbbing against my tongue, she relaxed, I stopped, removing my fingers. She tipped her head up to look at me, I smiled from between her legs and licked my fingers. I moved up over her with the intent of resting against her chest but she pulled me in and kissed me.

"I can see why Skye loves you, you're soft just like she is."

"So are you," I said simply, running one hand through her hair before shifting beside her.

She shook her head,

"I'm not usually, but it was different with you."

"Why?"

"You already know why,"

"But that's not why you were soft at first, I know this isn't something you've had forever, is it?" I was beginning to doubt myself and my ability to read people, maybe I had missed something.

"No, I actually didn't like you at first."

I laughed,

"I could tell."

"At first I was afraid of upsetting Skye, and what she would do. But after you woke up, when I had to use that sleep dart, I realized you were much more than what I thought. After that I was more concerned with hurting you, Skye told me you were inexperienced."

"Is that why I surprised you?"

She nodded, 

"I really wasn't expecting that when I came in to check on you, but you did something I didn't realize was possible."

"What's that?"

She chuckled,

"You made me feel something I didn't think I could feel."

"Didn't think you could feel?"

"You're young yet, you haven't had your heart broken. Once you do, you'll feel as though it will never heal, never work properly again. I think it's a small miracle I feel anything at all."

"You didn't think you'd ever love someone again?"

She shook her head,

"That is the nature of heartbreak and in this line of work, there isn't exactly room for that. There's no place for emotion, I know Skye gave you this lecture, even if she, herself, is breaking her own rules."

"She did,"

Embry sighed,

"Emotions are complicated, they make everything difficult. This job, I can't imagine feeling how I felt for someone and still heading out and offering my body to whoever will pay for it."

"I suppose I've become accustomed to seeing it a certain way, but you're right, it's difficult."

"It's bad enough I feel this way over you." she sighed, rubbing one hand over her face. "One week of consistent affection and I'm too easy, stupid chemicals."

I laughed, I had read earlier in the week, in one of the texts about humours and how they regulated everything, even love and affectionate feelings. She was so smart, it was overwhelming how she kept track of all this information.

"Embry," I said solemly, looking into that deep forest, seeing it spread out before me like an endless sea of trees, "You deserve someone who is going to love you for who you are, not just in their free time, not just when they're not with other people. Someone who loves you. Not some jackass like me." She smiled but I could see the tears welling up. I kissed her softly and lingered close to her, "But, until then, I'm right here." She wrapped her arms around me, sniffling. 

"You're such an asshole," she whimpered.

I laughed,

"I know, but you love it." I pulled back and wiped her face again, "and I meant what I said, I'll be here for you."

"Stop being a nice asshole."

"You're beautiful and smart and a fantastic person, I know you'll find someone who can appreciate you, and treat you right."

"What if I want you?" her eyes were searching, hoping.

"You already have me, I'm right here, and I'll stay here until you find what you're looking for."

She stared at me for a minute, 

"What possesses you to be so nice?"

I looked at her sideways,

"What?"

"Why are you like this? Why are you being nice to me? There's no reason to make that offer to me, to be nice."

"I don't want you to hurt, if you're worried about being alone I can fix that very easily, I just don't want to be the one to hurt you. I care about you, you're my best friend."

She smiled, shaking her head, running the back of one hand over my cheek.

"Soft."

We were right back where we started, she was being difficult, but I didn't have the heart to argue. She was exposed enough, and hurt enough, I had more than pushed my luck. I hadn't realized that Embry was so invested in me, so intent on me. I didn't think one week of someone could lead you into making that decision, and then I remembered what I did with Skye. I had rushed into that as well, but I was very content with that decision, so I supposed I couldn't be judgmental about her decision. I cared about her, as a dear friend, but not the way I did for Skye. But she knew, she had no preconceived notions about the way things were between us, there was no two way street, no reciprocation, only how she felt and what I was willing to do for her. I laughed,

"And you're difficult." I kissed her chest, "The most stubborn kind of difficult."

Her eyes were soft on me again and she sighed,

"Go to sleep," she shook her head, smiling. I slipped off to one side and curled up next to her. 

"You gonna sleep there?" she asked accusingly.

"Yes," I said simply, wrapping an arm around her and positioning my head into a pillow. 

She chuckled and I felt her shake her head, but I knew she had conceded. She wouldn't give me a hard time tonight, she wanted me close and I would give her that, at least for this week.

Chapter 10

When I awoke, Embry was already gone. The sunlight bathed the tent, it was mid morning already and I had slept through the heat of the rising sun. I sat up and stretched, wondering in amazement how she managed to escape me when we had fallen asleep so entwined. I began to wonder if perhaps she had used something on me to keep me asleep. She had mentioned something about being rested for today, it would make sense, but I couldn't find anything on me to indicated that she had stuck me with anything. The tent flap opened and the woman who entered threw off her veil.

"Good, you're awake," she smiled at me, she held a bottle in one hand.

"It looks like you've had a busy morning," I motioned to the bottle, "What's that?"

She chuckled and shifted the bottle in her hand,

"A going away present." She was smiling at me but there was sadness in her voice, I worried what she would say next. She approached me and knelt next to me, handing me the bottle. Her long legs emerged temptingly from the blue silk and that familiar minty smell wafted towards me as she reached out. I took it from her hands and held the dark green bottle, it was corked and most of the way full.

"You still haven't told me what this actually is," I said glancing at her sideways, "How will I know to drink it or rub it on myself?"

She laughed and shook her head,

"It's an aphrodisiac, and you drink it."

I furrowed my brow, earlier in the week we had discussed aphrodisiacs and how they didn't actually exist.

"But I thought..."

"This one is real." The forest was alive before me even despite the seriousness on her face. Had her expression not been so serious, I would have questioned her. My joking smile faded as I realized she was not kidding.

"You're just going to give me a bottle of it? Just like that?"

"What did you expect?" she asked, smiling again, "Did you think I was just going to dose you with it?"

"Well yeah."

She shoved me playfully and we both laughed.

"You really think I'd do that to you, after all we've talked about."

"I think you would, but you'd tell me. You'd make a game of it." She laughed and shook her head,

"If things were different maybe, but.." she sighed, "I want you to have this and use it with someone you really want to be with. I know that's not me." She didn't hide the disappointment this time, it was clear and apparent on her face and in her voice, but she was speaking in earnest. It was painful to see so much honesty in her. I looked down at the hazy green bottle in my hands.

"Thank you," I said, watching the concoction shift in the bottle like an unruly sea. "I'm glad you didn't use it on me," I shifted and placed the bottle off to one side before turning back to her, "because you don't need to." The sharp hurt in her eyes eased as she looked at me and I reached out, pulling her to me in an embrace. "There isn't one thing about you that I find unattractive, not one thing that doesn't turn me on. I don't need anything but you, don't you know that by now?" I felt her shake her head and grip me tighter, her chest trembled, I knew she was holding back tears.

"It's not fair,"she said in a tiny voice, sniffling.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," I really didn't, I cared for Embry, the last thing I wanted was to make any of this hard for her. She released me and sat down next to me, her eyes fell to the floor.

"I know you didn't, it's not your fault." she sniffled again, looking back up at me with reddened eyes "It's mine." she sighed, "I always expect too much, I always think it will turn out for me, and it never does. I'm such a fool." She shook her head and the forest met me once again, "I wish I had met you before Skye did." 

I was at a loss, I wasn't sure what to say anymore. Embry really did love me, but I couldn't reciprocate. It broke my heart to see her so hurt because of me, but I had to be honest, to tell her the truth.

"You're my best friend, Embry, I'll always care about you."

She chuckled and wiped her eyes, "thank you." She shifted and stood, "I'll let you get dressed, you're going to meet Lena today, she will be your next instructor." She smiled briefly and disappeared out of the tent flaps. 

I felt a hole in my chest, an emptiness on her disappearance. She was handing me off, as she was supposed to, but it still left me cold. We had become monumentally close in such a short time and now that was over; everything would change. I threw off the covers and stood, beginning to dress. I felt so constrained, I hurt for Embry but I still wanted Skye, and now, to complicate everything, my training would continue with yet another person. I was putting on my boots when the tent flap swished again. I didn't even bother to look up, still feeling terrible about Embry. Long blue silk with sandals beneath it and a long, thin, pale leg greeted me. I stood and realized this person was not Skye, as I had initially thought. The woman who stood before me almost towered over me. While she had Skye's complexion and same color hair, her deep blue eyes and face were completely different. This woman was long, tall, wispy almost. Her limbs were long and viney.




Nova's Journey Pt. 04



"Nova, we meet again," Her voice was dark and smooth, subtly alluring. She reached out and canted my face up towards her, gently touching my chin. Jeweled rings glinted on her fingers and gold adorned her neck. I could see the age on her face but it didn't detract from her beauty. She turned my face with her hand, looking me over closely. "I can see why she likes you." Her deep tone tinged with a smile. She released me and I stood in awe of this woman, mostly of her stature.

"You must be Lena."

"I am," she said, sounding thoroughly content with herself, "and for the next week you belong to me."



Nova's Journey



"I want you to be happy too, father."

He chuckled softly, hugging me,

"I am," he said kissing me on the cheek affectionately, "you're everything I could hope for in a daughter." He set me back down, "Think about it, Nova, I'll give you some time."

I hadn't realized it at the time. He wanted me to choose merchant. He wanted me to be like him. It took a little bit longer for it to cement that this was not what I wanted. It mostly based off one particular experience. 

The next day, I returned to the smithy and explained my intentions. When I entered the area where the forge was, I could see him working, his back was turned to me.

"Oh," He turned, noticing me, he wiped his sweaty head on his apron and rubbed his blackened hands on himself. "You back to keep working, Nova?"

"Yes, but there's something else," I paused nervously, almost scared to see his reaction.

"What is it?" he looked concerned, he approached me quickly, "Did something happen? Are you alright?"

"No, no," I said quickly, "Nothing like that,"

He looked relieved, his big frame breathed a heavy sigh of relief

"I want to become a smithy, like you." I said looking up at him. 

He laughed and scooped me up in his arms, bear hugging me in sweat and charcoal.

"Of course," I could hear the tears in his voice, he put me down gently and wiped his eyes, "I'll teach you everything I know."

That was when the training began, I became his apprentice, working during the days with him. We made everything, from nails and horseshoes to weaponry and wares. I still maintained my other hobbies, dancing and swordsmanship, in the mornings and evenings. There wasn't one day I wasn't happy to come into work and there wasn't one day he wasn't thrilled to have me there with him. I spent 8 years honing my craft, learning all there was to learn about metals and crafting them. 

The years rolled by and many things changed. I was growing up and changing, Lios was none too happy about it either. He left me to the women, primarily the dancers, to explain to me exactly what was taking place and how to deal with my monthly inconvenience. Lios kept an even sharper eye on me from then on, warning me to keep a distance from the boys in my group, telling me that they were trouble, but I had already been aware of that. I grew taller and leaner, curvier. I wore my skin a little better with age. My natural curiosity, however, had me asking many questions, even some that made the dancers blush. They were able to answer many of my questions and impart a lot of wisdom about men. Strangely, I never found myself attracted to any of the boys I was growing up with, although quite a few of them chased after me, I never had any interest. One of them cornered me and tried to kiss me one day, I supposed I should probably try it at least once, but it was unsatisfying. He was rough and unskilled, as most children are, and seemed more interested in getting my clothes off than kissing me in the first place. I told him it just wasn't going to work out between us, and that was the last we really spoke. After that, I avoided the rest of my suitors, I had no interest and found none of them attractive. I suppose, times like that are when life throws something new and interesting your way. It was another normal day in the caravan, like any other, we were sitting together as always, talking about whatever was going on that day. 

"I found it!" One of the boys came running up to our group, "I found the wagon with the blue women!"

"SHHHHH!" we all said together, I put my finger to my lips, another of the guys smacked him. 

"Keep your voice down idiot," one of the other guys whispered, we all leaned in, "Where?"

"Remember the mystic's wagon? There's another wagon behind it,"

"Isn't it for another group of mystics?" one of the girls asked

He shook his head,

"That's where they are, but they're only there at night,"

"What? Why?" I asked confused, "If that's their wagon, why would they only be there at night?"

He shrugged, 

"I don't know where they go during the day, but I've seen them there at night."

I was intrigued, the woman told me we would meet again, but it had been years and we hadn't run into each other again. I had spent most of my time in the smithy's anyway, I wondered if I should make an attempt to find her again. I wondered what the other women were like. Most of all, I harbored a desire to learn from them, to become like them. I had to find them again. After an evening training session with the guards, I snuck off. The sun was just going down, I figured if I was going to find them, now would be the time. I headed off down the center of the caravan, the peddlers were either closed or closing. I finally reached the end of the caravan, the mystic's wagon, he was closing up as well. I saw no activity at the wagon behind his. I stood for a moment, watching him close up until he finally drew the curtain on his wagon to retire for the night. I sighed, disappointed that I had nothing to show for my efforts. I turned to go home when I saw those green eyes before me. Part of me had elicited the fight or flight response to jump backward from her, but I stood there, in absolute shock yet once again, she was so close I could see freckles on her face beneath the light blue veiling. 

"You're just as beautiful as I knew you'd be." 

I could almost feel the warmth of her breath on my face. Her smooth voice caressed my senses. I watched in slow motion as that same pale hand lifted to my face but this time it gently ran down my cheek. I stood in shock, not knowing how to respond, but why did it feel so good? Her hand slid off my face and her fingers ran down my lips, I felt my breath catching in my lungs, my heart beat frantically against my chest. 

"Lios had every right to be scared when he forbade the entire caravan from leading you to us."

My ears were ringing and my head was spinning, did she just say that Lios had forbade everyone from leading me to these women? Maybe this feeling was the reason why. I wanted to have thoughts, to speak, to move, I was gasping like I had run for miles. I stood, trembling, before this woman, whose face I had never seen, yet she could do these things to me, with her voice, her eyes, her touch. A loud clatter from the mystic's wagon pulled me back to reality. I heard a voice behind me but before I could turn my head and see what had happened, the woman's hand had taken mine and was pulling me away. It all happened so quickly I could barely make sense of it. I was dazed in the first place and now I was running somewhere with this woman. She pulled me into a tent, when my senses finally returned, I found myself inside a tent similar to the one I shared with Lios, however, the inside of this one was much different. There were mound beds of blankets with feather and skin mattresses scattered all over, I assumed for the women. She stood before me, not even out of breath, I had been panting before, I felt like my chest could explode. 

"Shit," I puffed, bent over with my hands on my knees "What was that?"

"They almost saw us," her voice dripped from her lips, "It could have been disastrous for us both." she chuckled, "So this is Lios' silver-tongued daughter."

I glanced up at her, I could see her eyes smiling beneath the veil. I stood, finally recovered from the mad dash.

"So why exactly did Lios want to keep me from you?"

"Very direct I see,"

I stood authoritatively, with my hands on my hips, awaiting an answer. She approached me again, I watched her hips sway as she moved and I felt myself flush, what was wrong with me? "Yet so easily felled." she chuckled again, her green eyes burning me. "Lios never allowed you to have any exposure. Now you're too flustered to use that silk tongue of yours."

I couldn't get my thoughts in order, even her presence made me uneasy.

"Who are you?" I stammered. 

"I am Skye," she said simply, "Of the Cerulean order."

So that's who these women were, a cult of sorts, perhaps that's where they obtained their power from.

"What is the Cerulean order?"

She laughed,

"Lios really did tell you nothing, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised." she shifted and put one hand on her hip, "Our work isn't exactly what you would call a normal profession."

I was curious, what was this woman referring to? It couldn't be that obvious.

"So what is it you do?"

She laughed a hysterical laugh, I watched her whole body move with laughter.

"I think if you continue to ask me such questions, you might kill me." She smirked beneath the veil, "How can you be so naive?"

"Then it is what I think it is."

"That depends," her velvety voice luring me in, "what, exactly, is it that you're thinking?"

I was stuck, and very very naïve, especially for my age. I wasn't sure if I should attempt to answer her or not, or where it would lead me. If only I had been as bold then as I am now. 

"I..I'm not sure," I stammered, afraid to say what I was thinking, wondering, wanting.

"If you want, I can show you." Her eyes burned holes in me, as they had so long ago, but this time was different. This time I stood before her with my own eyes burning, I wondered if she could read them, it wasn't until later that I realized she was very, very skilled at reading people. She stood before me, waiting."Well, do you want me to?"

A challenge, a direct question, a choice. Despite her control over me, her complete control, she was still allowing me to choose, but was it even really a choice? I didn't believe she was manipulating me, how can someone manipulate you into wanting something you've always known you wanted? I swallowed hard, feeling my adrenaline rush, I was staring off the edge of the cliff. Would I leap or cower? I had to choose. 

"Yes."



Chapter 4

I had leapt, and I could feel myself falling. My stomach sunk and I felt my heart pound in my chest. What had I just gotten myself into? She glided towards me, hips accentuating every movement. I was counting the steps left to reach me. There were only two but they felt like an eternity. I could feel my face burning, what was this? How was she capable of doing this to me? She stepped closer and closer in slow motion until she was so close I could again feel her breath and see the freckles in her skin.

"Close your eyes,"

I closed them, 

"I'm going to blindfold you," she said, I felt something fall over my eyes and I felt her tighten it behind my head. 

"Why?" I asked, not fighting, just curious.

"Because you're not one of us yet," she finished tieing the blindfold, I could still feel the warmth on my face when she spoke.

"What do you mean 'yet'?" 

She laughed, I heard the movement of clothing, it brushed my face as it came off her, a sweet smell rose from beneath them. I gulped hard, what was she going to do? Why had she said 'yet'? I felt her hands slide over my hips and she gently pulled me against her. I could feel her chest against mine, her hips, she smelled of sweet flower oils. 

"I've known for a long time," she whispered, her lips kissed my neck gently. "I could see it on your face, even when you were young." her sentences were punctuated with gentle kisses moving up my neck. I felt weak, my body trembled uncontrollably and I couldn't distinguish why, it was like my body was shaking from the inside out. I was scared and unsure but exhilarated, I wanted more. Her hands gently ran down my arms to my hands, she lifted them and placed them on her hips. "Touch me." She said it gently, almost a whisper. I felt the words in her warm breath against my lips, but it wasn't a request, it was a command. I wanted to, I had the urges to do many things at that moment, but I didn't have the gall, not yet. 

I could feel the cool of her silk skirt draped over her hips, I wondered if the rest of her skin was as soft and smooth as her hands, my hands began to rise. I realized quickly that her midsection was exposed. Her hips were wide and I could feel the curves in her body as her waist narrowed. Her skin was cool beneath my almost sweaty palms. I continued upward and ran into something rough, I was puzzled. My gentle caresses turned into groping curiosity. I recognized the material, it was very obviously leather, my hands ran up it and into the center, feeling laces in the middle, it must have been a boustier. I rose slightly higher and ran into two firm breasts, at which point I stopped, blushed furiously, and backed off. I removed my hands, holding them up shoulder level. She laughed gently, 

"It's ok," her fingers ran over my palms and laced into mine, "I want you to." she pulled my hands back to her, pulling them down around her waist but winding my arms around her. I felt her body against mine again, her voice so close, "I know it feels odd at first, but you've never done this before, have you?" I felt my face burn and my stomach drop, I was embarrassed that I was so inexperienced and lost. How could I be something special to these women, to this one in front of me, with no experience and no skill? What little confidence I had gained was shattered. I shook my head and bit my lip, I wanted to cry from feeling so out of place. I think she sensed this, because she responded better than I could have ever hoped for.

"Hey," she said so gently I wasn't sure I was really hearing it. A cool hand slid up my cheek and a thumb made a small circle beneath my right eye, wiping away a lone tear. "You need to learn these things. I can't judge you based on lack of experience, I need to be able to judge you on execution. I'm here to help you learn." she paused, sighing, "I want to teach you." I felt her breath on my lips, then her lips touched mine. They were so soft and gentle, it wasn't like the last time. I felt lust in my first kiss, but here, I felt caring, gentleness; a deep want, not just a physical one. I wasn't sure what to do or how to do it, I just tried to keep up with her pacing. 

The warmth in my face spread to my body like I was being dumped into a tub of hot water. I felt the urge to do the things I was thinking, instead of just letting them dwell inside my head. One of her hands had slipped around my neck and was gently keeping me with her, not that she really had to. I felt myself losing control, I pulled her tight against me and my hands ran up her back. I could feel her smiling between kisses, 

"There's the fire I was looking for." I couldn't escape the velvety smoothness of her voice. She reached up and undid my hair tie, my long, black hair cascaded down my shoulders. Her hand started back down at the base of my neck and slid upward, toward my scalp, where her fingertips rubbed gently, I moaned. It caught both of us by surprise, we both stopped flat. I hadn't realized a simple touch would elicit that kind of a response and she hadn't expected it so early on. She laughed and I felt her forehead against mine. "So your scalp is a good spot," she stated plainly, "Either you're starting to trust me or you're very, very sensitive." I laughed, my face was burning,

"I trust you."

"Why? You don't even know me." She was luring me in, I didn't realize it then but I do now. There was truth to my words, however, I did trust her. 

I shook my head gently and swallowed hard,

"I knew, from the moment I met you, that I wanted to be like you. There was just something about you. I know you won't hurt me and..." I paused, afraid of what I was about to say meant. I was about to reveal my deepest secret to her.

"And what?" her voice was so gentle, so beautiful, it almost hurt to hear her ask. I was trying to summon all my courage, I reached up slowly, attempting to find her face blindly. My hand ran up her neck and I tucked stray hair behind one ear.

"I want you," I said softly, leaning in to kiss her. Her arms wrapped around me, pulling me into her. I was spiraling, headlong toward the ground at an alarming rate of speed, it felt like I was flying, but would I ever hit the bottom? I had become bold, I knew what I wanted and how I wanted to do it. I lifted her with ease, thanking the smith for all the times he had pestered me to transport the metals myself. Her legs wrapped around my hips, I felt her begin to breathe hard, I finally had the upper hand. I turned to my left and took baby steps, attempting to locate the bedding on the floor blindly, until my toe collided with something soft. I knelt slowly, or as slowly as I could with her attached to me, and leant forward to allow her down onto the bedding. She refused to release me, I toppled over above her, one hand out to support myself, the other around her waist. I could smell the scent of leather and feathers in the bedding, it was earthy amid all the sand I was accustomed to. I began to lean back in towards her, but her hand landed firmly on my chest. 

"Wait." she said, her legs released me and I sat back on my heels. I heard rustling and movement, but I couldn't make out what she was doing. I felt air hit me, then I felt tugging. She was untucking my shirt from my pants, I still couldn't believe this was actually happening. She lifted it up over my head before pausing, 

"You're a dancer?"

I nodded. Despite the men's clothing I wore to train, the dancers had gifted me with a support, necessary in their movements.

"That talent will serve you well," she said, her hands tracing the support, "the flexibility, coordination, endurance, and strength," she said her hands reaching out and touching my arms. I couldn't help but smile. I felt her hands glide back to the center of the support and unclasp it, she gave it a gentle tug and it unwound from around me. "Finally." It was strange to hear her say that, I figured it was something I should be saying, after all the time I had spent searching her out. Her hands ran over my shoulders and her arms wrapped around my neck, she pulled me down to her. She had removed her top, I could feel her skin against mine, it was exquisite. She kissed me, draping one leg over my hip, my hand slid up her thigh, the other ran through her hair, I felt faint curls under my palm. Her hands were on my chest, rubbing places I never knew were so sensitive. It seemed we were both becoming impatient now, I could feel her chest rising and falling quickly and I heard her breathing fast. She reached up and her hand ran up my arm to the wrist of one hand, which was now behind her neck. She lifted my hand and pulled it toward my face. I didn't understand at first. She used my fingers to trace her lips, she kissed them softly and then I felt the heat and warmth of her mouth on them. I could anticipate what was going to happen, but I was still in disbelief. I could feel her tongue moving over my fingertips, she sucked on them gently before pulling them from her mouth. She guided my hand to where it needed to be, while it was an uncomfortable position with me on top of her, I trusted she knew what she was doing. She still had a firm hold on my wrist, I felt folds and moisture against my fingertips, was I really about to do this? 

"Go ahead," she said calmly, I could still feel her chest rising and falling quicker than usual against my own. She was letting me make the call, just guiding me towards the final destination. I took a deep breath, feeling myself still shaking from the adrenaline rush I was experiencing. I leaned in against her and kissed her softly, I pressed gently with my fingertips and felt the skin spreading. She let out a small moan. I could feel the tension increase around my fingers as her body shifted and her hips tilted towards me, she lifted both legs and wrapped them around me, I felt my knuckles against her. "Keep going," she said, almost breathless. I began to move my hand, she sighed and I felt her moving against me. I could hear her breathing hard, it just egged me on. I felt myself more and more enticed to continue. I sped up and I could hear her letting out small moans with each breath. I felt powerful, important. I controlled her with just two fingers. This woman who could so easily control me without even touching me, was finally under my command. I continued to increase the speed until I could feel my muscles cramping up from the effort. Her breaths became so short she stopped making noise, she was still shifting against me but I could feel her back arch spastically at times. She almost had a death grip on my fingers at those times, but I continued at a break neck speed. I heard her gasp like she was about to die and then I felt her twitching, her body contracted around my fingers, she wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly against her, her nails dug into my back. Then I felt her relax, running her hands in opposite directions, one up my neck and the other down my spine. I stopped moving my hand, I figured it was a good time. I was still pulled against her. She chuckled gently into my ear. 




Nova's Journey



"Not bad for your first time," I felt proud, I leaned over and kissed her. "This is an important time," she explained, "It's when we're most vulnerable." she gently massaged my back with her hands. "We need time to recover and we recover best with the people we're with." Her hand slid up my neck and I felt my hair stand up all over my body, it was like she had run electricity all through me, I sighed unconsciously. I chuckled,

"How do you do that to me?" I asked, smiling. "How can such a small and simple motion make my hair stand on end?"

"You'll learn," she said, I could hear the smile in her voice as she stroked my neck and ears, "That it's not always the blatant, obvious motions that elicit the best responses, but often the smaller, more subtle ones." I rolled next to her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to me. I could feel her long wavy hair on me as she laid her head on my chest, that familiar, flowery smell rose again from her hair. I couldn't resist the chance to run my fingers through her hair, it was long and soft, and it ran through my fingers like fine silk. I leaned down and kissed her forehead, I could hear her chuckling.

"What is it?"

I could feel her head shake,

"You are so tender with me, it's amazing."

I cocked my head to one side,

"Are you giving me a hard time?" I asked seriously

"No," she said simply, I felt her head shake, "You really are,"

I laughed,

"Seriously?"

"Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

she chuckled beneath her breath,

"You'll learn soon enough." I was too naïve at the time to figure that one out either, but she was right. It was a quick and harsh lesson for me to learn that not all people had the softness, the kindness, the tenderness, whatever you might call it. "Are you ready?"

I stopped flat, 

"For what?" I asked curiously

She laughed, 

"You still have much to learn," I could feel her smiling as she kissed me gently. She shifted and climbed on top of me. "Lesson number one," she said, her hands tracing my chest and running down my stomach, "Reciprocation," she whispered, trailing kisses down my chest to my navel. Nothing had ever felt so good, her hair trailed along my skin, I could feel the warm, wetness of her tongue here and there. I felt two motions and heard my belt unclick from around me, she pulled it impatiently and tugged on my pants. I lifted my hips and she tugged my pants to my ankles, she pulled off my shoes and removed my pants entirely. I was completely exposed and felt very self conscious. I'm sure she could sense this, her hands ran gently up my legs. She leant over me, her hips lodged firmly between my legs, and kissed me again. "You're beautiful." she said simply, I felt myself flush. "Now it's my turn," I could feel her sliding down my body, her hands gently slipped along the inside my legs. I was terrified, what would she think of me? I was so hairy and I was almost due for the month. I felt her hand running down the inside of one leg and her tongue trailing the inside of the other. It felt so good, it almost helped me forget everything I was thinking. I felt her hair on me and her warm breath, I gasped in surprise, she chuckled, "Maybe you're just sensitive everywhere," I felt her tongue on me, spreading and caressing, how could something so small feel so good? Thoughts of inadequacy were gone, all I could focus on was her and how good this felt. I tried so hard to stay still, but I just couldn't, I felt my stomach tighten and at times my entire body tensed, I'd lift up off the bedding and gasp, my hips bucked, I tried to keep my arms around myself but I ended up holding onto the bedding as though I was going to be thrown from it at any moment. Electricity was flowing through my veins and I didn't want it to stop. I felt something inside me building, it was hard to breathe. I gasped for air as my entire body tightened, I let out a small cry as everything inside me let go. All the intensity that had built up released. It was as if she had been giving me all her energy and finally it had burst from me. The tenseness left my body in bursts of rhythmic waves. Warmth flooded over me, I was coming back to my senses. I felt the heat on my body, the sweat that had accumulated all over. I felt myself panting. I felt her hand against the outside of one thigh, her lips fell gently on the inside. "You are very sensitive," she said plainly, "you've never done that before either, have you?" I shook my head, still catching my breath, I was sprawled out on the bedding, my arms up at either side. "Well," she started but paused momentarily, I could feel her moving, her body tipped over on top of mine and I could feel her breath once again. Her hands traced across my face and around the back of my head, I felt her pull on the blindfold. "it's tradition not to let you see me," I felt the knot unwind, "then again, it's also not tradition to initiate a virgin," the cloth slipped from my face, "especially not a blind one." I was hesitant to open my eyes, there was so much mystique surrounding this woman, what would I find once I opened my eyes? Would the magic be gone? Her fingers ran across my cheek, "Whenever you're ready." I opened my eyes slowly, looking dead center into those piercing green eyes I knew so well. My glance shifted, she was still very young, not much older than myself, there were thin lines of black makeup around her eyes, accentuating her penetrating eyes. Her skin was dramatically light, she was by far the palest person I had ever seen, she had light freckles around her eyes and lips. Her hair was a silvery blonde, it was faintly curly and it cascaded down her shoulders in gentle waves. If I hadn't held this woman in my arms, I'd have sworn she was a ghost. She was so unlike myself and everyone I knew. 

"You're the one who's beautiful," I said grinning. 

She laughed, I reached out and touched her face, "You're so young, we can't possibly be so close in age." 

"Looks are indeed deceiving," she said turning her head and kissing my fingertips, "I'm about twice your age."

I shook my head, 

"I'd have never known," 

"The magic of the veil," she began, sitting up, "we are never quite what we appear to be. But you'll learn about that soon enough."

"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting up with her still between my legs "Are you really going to make me part of the order? Just like that?"

"Too easy for you?" her eyes glistened with the question.

I shook my head quickly,

"No, it's just...You don't know me,"

She looked smug,

"What could possibly give you that idea?"

"We've never spoken, well, not really, we've only interacted on a few occasions."

"And that's the only way to know someone?" she laughed, "You seem to forget all the daily interactions you have with other people, what makes you think we weren't watching? That we didn't see you or weren't aware of you. I've been interested in you for years, I could see, from the very beginning, that you had natural talents, that you would be well suited for this job."

"You were watching?"

She nodded,

"Your interest in blacksmithing, your lessons with your father and the farmer's wife, the swordsmanship training,"

"But you didn't know about the dancing,"

"You do have me there," she said gently, one hand gently tracing one ear as she tucked a strand of my hair back around my ear. 

"So tell me," I said, still admiring her, "What made you want to do this?"

She sighed,

"Do you really want to hear such a depressing story?"

"Is it really that bad?"

She crossed her arms uncomfortably, I was surprised to see someone I always thought of as a strong woman looking so uncomfortable. I leaned towards her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to me.

"I was orphaned when I was young, kind of like how you were," she started, "but I wasn't taken in by a good-hearted merchant, I was found by slave traders. They were harsh and abused me, myself and the other women and children." I felt her body shaking and I felt tears on my shoulder, I held her tighter, "I was about 10 when I finally escaped them, that's when I ran into the order, they took me in, even if I wasn't going to join them. They understood what had happened to me and they helped me adjust. They fed and clothed me, the women helped me with all the problems I was having. They explained to me that what had happened wasn't my fault, that I shouldn't be afraid of anyone," She paused, wiping her eyes with one hand. I brushed a tear from her cheek with my thumb.

"I'm sorry," I began, watching her eyes were brimming with tears as she stared at me, "I shouldn't have asked."

"No," she shook her head, "Don't be, it wasn't your fault. It almost makes me feel a little better talking about it." 

I couldn't help but smile, she leaned in and put her forehead to mine,

"For some reason, I feel like I can trust you."

"I feel the same about you, but.."

"But?"

"Why did you join them if you had no intention of doing so?"

"Well, I was 10, so I didn't really understand who they were. I didn't realize the depth of what I had stumbled onto. Once I got older, after a few years of staying with them, being taken care of and adapting, I began to ask questions. I wanted to know who they were, what they did, and why."

"Did they tell you?"

She shook her head, 

"Of course not, there were many details, secrets. I began to watch them carefully, I found out that they were involved in a number of things. They had deals with people to spy, to gain information, and to seduce."

"So they would charm people into giving them details?"

She nodded,

"We would return to our employer with these details for payment."

"So what happened?"

She shook her head,

"You can only go so long without being found out."

"Someone discovered you and couldn't keep their mouth shut?"

"Exactly," her eyes cut me intensely

"So you joined the caravan to escape."

"We veiled ourselves and escaped with the caravan, parading as common concubines. Not that we didn't have the skills to back up that claim," She grinned, standing and offering me her hand to stand. 

I chuckled, taking her hand and standing before her, she gave me a devilish look and turned to collect her clothes.

"You seem very proud of that," I said, bending and collecting my own.

"You will find that there are not many who have the abilities we do," she was dressing now. "We are part of a very, very old order, and we have much knowledge."

I paused, still shirtless. For once, my curiosity was almost overwhelming, how much more was there to know? What else was there? My understanding was so shallow, I felt as though this information spanned out before me for years.

"Can you teach me?"

She turned to me, still unveiled with her hair down but otherwise already clothed, she smiled.

"You really want to learn?"

I nodded,

"What makes you think I wouldn't want to?" I grinned.

She took a few steps toward me and stood inches from my face, searching with her eyes. She reached out and touched my face gently. I felt my face burning at her touch.

"Because you think you're in love," she said flatly.

I laughed but her expression was still flat, she wasn't smiling or amused. It was as though someone had stabbed me in the chest, I didn't realize until that moment that you could experience actual heart pain. Her hand fell,

"You need to understand that this is a job," her eyes were suddenly cold, "you cannot let your emotions run off, that is the first rule." Her gaze shifted to the floor and it was odd to see her uncomfortable, "We can have a good time, and we can enjoy ourselves," she shook her head before looking back up to me, "We can't be that attached. It just complicates everything. Do you understand?"

I nodded gently, somewhat heartbroken that the bonds I felt we had built were out of reach when we were not actively engaged with one another.

"There cannot be jealousy, boundaries, or monogamous relationships between any of us."

"I understand," I tried my best to put on a tough front and convince her, I was still too young and inexperienced, I'm certain now that she saw clean through me. 

She nodded,

"Alright, we will have to speak to the others, but it will have to wait until tomorrow, it is getting late, you should head back."she turned and began to pace. 

"Yes," I said, snapping back and finally putting my shirt on, but once I did, I found that I didn't want to go. I stood there, still entranced by her, watching her pace. "Skye."

She turned back to me, her brow was furrowed. I took the few extra steps between us and wrapped my arms around her, "Thank you."

She sighed with a smile, wrapping her arms around me, "You're welcome."

I knew I couldn't linger because I wouldn't be able to bring myself to leave. She was right, of course, I was very invested in her and what had occurred. I would never convince her that I wasn't attached if I stayed there in her arms. I released her, backing away quickly, seeing a moment of tenderness in those green eyes, before I turned and ran out of the tent.