17 comments/ 32309 views/ 48 favorites My Dearest Nicole By: LiveCat All names are completely fictitious, except for the Dorchester hotel obviously. As ever, feedback welcomed. Even the negative stuff -- as long as it's constructive! Cat xx * Email from Sarah Hanley To Nicole Potter Sent: 19 January 2012 18:09 My Dearest Nicole, You will never know how thrilled I was to get your email, and no -- of course I don't mind you getting my email address from my sister when you bumped into her. I have read it so many times I think I must know it word for word and while there are some pretty harsh accusations in there, I still delight in reading it over and over. Maybe it's a form of self punishment as I pretty much deserve every thing you accuse me of. I am so, so sorry that I left so abruptly and without saying goodbye to anyone, to you in particular, but I hope that as you read this you will understand and even if you are not able forgive me, then at least be able to see things from my perspective at the time. I know how much it must have hurt you when I left because it hurt me too -- more than you will ever know, but before I get into explanations I will try to answer the 2 questions that you asked so plaintively: Did I leave because of you? Yes, kind of but not because you did anything wrong. Was it something you said or did? Yes and no. Again you did nothing wrong. Maybe I should just start at the beginning? You know that I had no interest in going to university and yet you also knew how much I wanted to go into web design. You used to query how the hell I thought I could do that without going and getting the required qualifications to break into an already oversubscribed job market -- I never had an answer for you. I knew the answer but it was all tied up in the only secret I ever kept from you, unfortunately it was a pretty big, and at times, all-consuming secret. Do you remember that a little while before I left, you kept saying that my Mum was treating you strangely? You accused her of being cold and unfriendly toward you but I could never see it -- I thought you were being paranoid for some reason. Turns out you were right. You see the secret I'd managed to hide from you for 2 years wasn't as easy to hide from my Mum. She was the one who paid close attention to my moods and heard me crying myself to sleep at night and in the end she gave me an ultimatum. When she got the truth from me I had a choice of moving out of her house and fending for myself, which at 18 with no job or money was too scary a prospect or Moving out and going away to university with her covering the costs. The price of this option was severing ties with you. I don't know to this day if I made the right choice but I do know that I went about it the wrong way. Yes I went and spent 3 years at university, 1 year in total misery, 1 year that was bearable and 1 year where I managed to have some fun and where I learnt an awful lot about myself into the bargain. Yes I got my degree that allowed me to get a job in web design and now at the ripe old age of 28 I am the manager of a large corporate web design team. You'd think I'd be happy wouldn't you? Except there isn't a single day that's gone by over the last 10 years when I haven't thought about you and regretted leaving you. My secret? Do you remember when we went on a school trip to the Lake District and while we were out walking we all got caught in the most horrendous downpour? Do you remember how when we got back to the youth hostel there weren't enough showers for everyone to use at once, so you and I offered to share so that everyone could get warmed up after the rain? Well, that was the day that I realised that I'd fallen in love with you. I knew I loved you before, we'd been best friends since we started secondary school, but from that moment on I was romantically, head-over-heels, besottedly in love with you. There, I've said it. I'm sorry I never told you sooner but my Mum convinced me that it was wholly immoral to feel that way about another woman and that if I told you you'd be absolutely horrified. I now know that she was wrong about it being immoral, I don't believe any form of true and pure love can ever be immoral but please remember that I was only an 18 year old scared kid at the time. I didn't want to go to university because I couldn't bear the thought of being away from you, and yet I ended up going because I was too frightened to stay. Frightened of my Mum's opinions, of having to make my own way in the world, of telling you about my feelings and seeing hate in your eyes. So back to your questions. Did I leave because of you? Yes, I left because you were my every waking thought and having you so near and yet so far from where I wanted you was breaking my young heart. Was it something you said or did? Every time you started dating a new boyfriend it ripped my soul in two. Hearing you speak about your new romance and the ensuing sex life was the worst kind of torture you could ever have inflicted on me, however you weren't to know. So, over the years I've had several doomed relationships, some with men and some with women. I'm confident enough with my sexuality now to say that having tried both flavours I definitely prefer women and consider myself to be gay. Consequently my Mum's ploy to 'keep me straight' as she delicately put it didn't really work; I came out to her the year after I left college and she hasn't spoken to me since -- not so much as a Christmas card in over 6 years. I've wanted to contact you so many times, but I assumed you were married, had children, were happy; and I knew I didn't have the right to hurt you all over again just because I wanted to see you. God how I wanted to see you. It's a good job that I'm typing this rather than writing, as the paper would be soaked with my tears. So yes, the way I 'deserted you' was indeed heartless and thoughtless and all of the other things you accuse me of and I couldn't be more sorry; for both of us. I don't know how you'll take this email but if you can bear to respond I would truly love to know how your life has turned out, where you're living, what you're doing. You should know that I still love you now as I loved you then. Yours always, Sarah xx Email From: Nicole Potter To: Sarah Hanley Sent: 20 January 2012 09:32 Fuck you, you stupid bitch! I'm sorry that I ever wrote to you in the first place! Stay away from me and never write to me again -- I'm changing my email address so you can't contact me. Email From: Nicole Potter To: Sarah Hanley Sent: 20 January 2012 10:48 Sarah, I'm sorry -- you didn't deserve that. I can't do this now because I'm not supposed to be checking my personal email at work, let alone sobbing over my keyboard. I'll email you later from home. Nicole Email From: Nicole Potter To: Sarah Hanley Sent: 20 January 2012 17:58 Hi Sarah, Please let me apologise for my email earlier. I'm so sorry, my anger just took hold of me, I should never have sent it. I appreciate your candour, and having spoken to my Mum about this (yes, I still talk to her about everything) I can understand your predicament all those years ago but I'm sorry, I can't forgive you just yet. Maybe if I tell you a bit about my life you'll understand why. When you left me I fell to pieces -- literally. I stopped eating, stopped going out, stopped taking care of myself completely. Eventually my Mum got tough with me and sat me down to tell me a 'few home truths' as she put it. She made me understand that I was mourning you. As if you had died. You may as well have been dead to me as I had no idea where you were, how to contact you or why you had left. In fact I only knew you had gone when I phoned your house to ask if you wanted to go shopping and your Mum told me that you had gone away and that you never wanted to hear from me again. As you can imagine, I was completely devastated. Eventually I started to pull myself together again (I think the threat of psychiatrists helped) but I never stopped looking for you. I couldn't stop looking for you. You were my life and I wanted you back. I had several short flings with generally unsuitable men and got married when I was 20. It was disastrous from the start and it wasn't long before he started to get verbally abusive which escalated to physical abuse in no time at all. Fortunately Mum came to the rescue again and took me away from the situation -- hid me with relatives until a restraining order and divorce did their work. She sat me down and asked why I always went for the same type of bloke -- people who were likely to hurt me, emotionally if not physically. I had no answer -- but she did. I was stunned when she finally suggested that I try dating women. It had never occurred to me that I was anything other than straight, but she pointed out that I was still searching for you and that I therefore picked men who were your opposite. Men who were rough, coarse, inconsiderate and not very intelligent; everything you were not. During the divorce I suffered from depression -- not so much because of the collapse of my marriage but because I yearned to talk to my best friend and you were nowhere to be found. During my darkest times I came to some pretty startling revelations, including the fact that I'd obviously been in love with you for ages. It wasn't a huge leap for my addled brain to then deduce that this must be why you'd left me. That you'd realised my feelings and that the idea revolted you -- after all, why else would you have left without a word to me? I've had a couple of relationships with women and one actually lasted for 2 years -- the longest relationship I've ever had, but it didn't work out. You see I still compare everyone to you and no one fits the bill. After all the years that have passed I wonder if I have blown you out of all proportion in my mind but I doubt it. A couple of months ago my Mum said she'd seen your sister working in the bank and it's taken me that long to raise the courage to approach her and ask for your contact details, because I didn't know how she'd react to me. I was very surprised when she seemed pleased to see me. It then took another week to pluck up the courage to write you the email, and looking back I'm sorry that our first contact in 10 years was so terse -- fear and anger makes rationality difficult. So -- there you have it. I'm guessing this isn't what you expected, especially since my earlier rant. The reason why I was so angry and why I can't bring myself to forgive you is that if you'd stayed we might have realised our feelings for each other and the last 10 years might have been marvellous rather than something to be endured. We could have fought through the tough times together rather than alone. Bloody hell woman -- we could have been lovers! But then as my Mum pointed out -- we may have been too young to handle it then and our relationship may have crumbled anyway. As you can tell, my Mum is still the practical one! As for your Mum -- much as I hope I will be able to forgive you in time, I will never, never, never forgive her! Always your friend, Nicole x PS: Yes I remember that shower very well. I also remember all sorts of other times we've been naked or scantily clad it each others presence (changing to go out, sleepovers, swimming etc.) although they didn't hold any relevance until I had my first lesbian relationship. Email From: Sarah Hanley To: Nicole Potter Sent: 20 January 2012 19:12 Oh Nicole! I really fucked up didn't I? How stupid could I have been. If I'd known, if I'd thought, if I'd dared to hope for just a single second! Oh god, I was sorry before but now I'm desolate. How could I have been so instrumental in ruining the life of someone I loved and not even realise it? What a complete coward I've been. I'm not surprised you can't forgive me -- I have no means to forgive myself right now. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry but it seems so inadequate. I'd like to hear your voice again -- if I send you my number will you call me when you feel able? Yours, Sarah xx Email From: Nicole Potter To: Sarah Hanley Sent: 20 January 2012 19:36 Sarah, You need to shut up now! I can't stand to know that you're beating yourself up over this any more, because I don't want you to be hurting any more than you wanted to hurt me. You crippled your own life as much as mine, and maybe if I'd been more attuned to how you were feeling, read the signs, been a better friend, hell -- understood my own feelings then you wouldn't have run away. No -- I won't call you and I won't give you my number either -- I don't want our first 'proper' conversation to happen at a distance and I don't want either of us to have the opportunity to chicken out last minute...... so I'll meet with you instead, if you're willing? Nicole xx Email From: Sarah Hanley To: Nicole Potter Sent: 20 January 2012 19:53 Of course I'm willing! Where? When? I'm living in London these days but I'm happy to travel anywhere to meet you? I can take time off work if I need to! Shit! I'm so excited I think I'm going to be sick! xxxxxxxx Email From: Nicole Potter To: Sarah Hanley Sent: 20 January 2012 20:12 Well, this might surprise you but I'm also living in London! Are you doing anything this weekend? I think we should meet somewhere public and yet anonymous. I also think we should do it in style, (bugger the expense) so how about I meet you in the bar of the Dorchester on Friday night at 7.30pm? I know what you mean -- serious butterflies! N xxxx Email From: Sarah Hanley To: Nicole Potter Sent: 20 January 2012 20:24 Holy crap that's tomorrow! Less than 24 hours away! Oh god yes! YES!!!! I'm going to have to cancel a meeting to be able to get there in time but I promise I'll email you by 10am if there's a problem. I'll definitely be there -- might just have to change the time slightly. Eeeeeeek!!!!!! xxxxxx Email From: Nicole Potter To: Sarah Hanley Sent: 20 January 2012 20:37 I can't believe I'm saying this but...... see you tomorrow! xx So that's how I ended up standing on the steps of the Dorchester trembling. I'm not sure which had the upper hand right then; nerves, excitement, anticipation or downright honest-to-goodness fear! Will Nicole recognise me? Will I recognise her? Will she have changed? Will she think that I've changed? Will we ever be able to get over the last 10 years and be friends again? And if so, could we make it past friendship to something more intimate? These thoughts had been running around my head all day, stopping me thinking, stopping me working, at times almost stopping me breathing. At about 4 o'clock my studio supervisor, who also happens to be a good friend, came into my office and closed the door -- demanding to know who had stolen her bosses brain. I couldn't help it, the whole story just poured from my mouth in a torrent of jumbled words until I was left sobbing into my hands at the wasted time I had forced on us both. After some serious hugs and soothing noises I was persuaded to leave a little early and go home to get myself sorted out, having had it pointed out to me that I'd feel better if I arrived at the Dorchester refreshed from a shower and looking my best. Then I was there. Staring at the door. But I couldn't move my legs. The doorman came down the steps to ask if I was ok and having to interact with another person broke my reverie and galvanised me into action. Smiling at the doorman I felt my legs move and then I was heading through the revolving door into the foyer of the hotel. I'd been there before for a formal function so I knew where the bar was but being 15 minutes early I headed for the toilets to check my appearance, taken aback at the startled-rabbit expression that faced me in the mirror. Walking into the bar still 10 minutes early I stood at the entrance, scanning the occupied tables for any sign of Nicole and felt a weird mixture of relief and disappointment when I didn't see her but then a young man in Hotel uniform approached me and asked if I was Miss Hanley? My stomach lurched as I nodded dumbly. Is she here? Has she pulled out? Maybe she's just running late? Is she punishing me? She doesn't have my number, maybe something came up. 'Follow me please, your friend is seated through here.' and so I followed him with leaden legs, spitfires performing acrobatics in my gut and sweat breaking out all over my body as he showed me to a booth at the back of the room. She saw me immediately and stood, staring, just as I stood rooted to the spot staring back, and then we were moving toward each other as fast as we could until we were tightly wrapped in each other's arms, me sobbing into her hair as she sobbed into my shoulder. I have no idea how long we stood there like that, just hugging and crying, or who pulled away first but the next thing I knew I was staring into a pair of eyes that I knew as well as my own. Older than when I had last seen them yes, with slight crinkles around the outside and the naivety had gone from them -- but they were Nicole's eyes just the same. They were the same shade of slate grey as they always had been and they stopped my heart for a second as I looked into their shimmering depths through the haze of my own tears. I raised my hands to her face and dried her tears with my thumbs and her face broke into the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in my life. It seemed that sunshine radiated from that smile and warmed the entire room -- and still we stood and stared at each other, studying each other's face as though we might find the answer to a long lost question. I was acutely aware of all of my senses as if they had been fine tuned. I could hear Nicole's breathing, feel the blood fizzing through my body, colours seemed sharper, the scent of her perfume insinuated itself gently into my consciousness, the feeling of her hands on my hips was electrifying, the softness of her cheeks under my fingers was like a soothing balm to my troubled mind -- and then she spoke the first 3 words that had passed between us verbally for a little over 10 years. 'Kiss me Sarah' and so I did. With her face still cradled in my hands I brushed my lips delicately against hers, feeling rather than hearing the sigh that escaped her as she threw her arms around my neck and pulled me tightly against her. She kissed me back, gently and sweetly, until our lips parted and our tongues cautiously touched for the first time, teasing each other and sensuously tussling. 'Ahem -- can I fetch you ladies a drink?' and we both turned to the waiter, startled back into to the reality that we were standing in the bar of the Dorchester hotel, amidst a room full of business men, theatre goers and tourists, sharing the most intimate moment of our lives. We smiled at each other before responding in unison 'Champagne!' We sat down then into the deep leather of the booth, side by side but turned toward each other so we could continue to look at each other. It was as if we were scared to look away in case it wasn't real and the object of our hearts desire would vanish by the time we looked back. 'Hello Nicole' 'Hello Sarah. Are you going to stop grinning at any point?' 'No, never. My dreams have all come true, why would I stop grinning? Besides -- you're grinning too!' 'I know but I was thinking about the prospect of fulfilling the rest of my dreams -- I'm not as easily satisfied as you.' 'That sounds interesting! You know I was terrified of coming here, I thought it would be awkward but you made it so beautiful, thank you.' My Dearest Nicole 'Don't worry, you weren't the only one who was nervous. I've been dreaming about this day for so long I can hardly believe we're actually sitting here. There are so many questions; so many things I want to tell you, but now we're here, actually sitting here together, on the same seat, in the same room, I don't want to talk at all. I just want to look at you and kiss you and hold you in my arms.' I felt the tears spring back into my eyes as my heart melted at her words. Looking into the face that had always been beautiful to me, had been the object of my desire for as long as I could remember, I knew exactly how she felt. 'I still can't believe I'm hearing you say that. The thought that my beautiful friend, that I've longed for, for so many years is sitting here telling me she wants to kiss me is breaking my heart in an all-together new way. You know we're still only 28. We have the rest of our lives to talk and besides, sometimes actions speak much louder than words.' and I took her hands in mine as I bent my face toward hers to claim her lips once more. As we kissed the waiter had discretely placed a bottle of Champagne and 2 glasses on the table but we hadn't noticed, we were so wrapped up in our own world we probably wouldn't have cared if the hotel had fallen down around us. I passed a glass to Nicole and raised mine to hers 'What should we drink to? Reunions? The future?' 'How about we just drink to "Us"?' and we clinked glasses and sipped at the golden sparkling liquid, the taste and sensation of which was far less enticing and certainly less intoxicating to me than Nicole's lips. We sat in silence for a while, holding hands, just watching the ebb and flow of people in the bar. 'I wonder if any of these people has ever had a day as momentous as this one?' I mused 'You know I used to have a recurring dream where I was walking down some unknown random street and as I turned a corner, there you were. You were always standing on your own but you were laughing out loud.' 'What happened next?' and as I looked at Nicole I could see the sorrow of remembrance cloud those beautiful features. 'You sure you really want to know? Every time - I walked straight up to you and slapped you hard around the face.' 'I think I deserve a slap for the things I've put us through.' 'But you don't understand. Every time I had the dream I'd wake up straight after the slap with such horrible mixed emotions. Deliriously happy because I'd finally found you but then so sad because I'd hurt you. Then it would all just be sad because I'd remember that it was just a dream and you were still lost to me.' I could see the tears start to course down her cheeks as she spoke, but her voice was firm and strong as she continued. 'That dream -- confusing and wonderful and horrible as it was, always left me knowing that you really were out there somewhere. That someday I would find you. Today is that day and it is truly momentous, more so than any of these people could ever truly comprehend.' I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head tenderly, smelling her shampoo and commenting 'You've changed shampoo, it's smells different.' Nicole laughed and dried her tears, turning in my arms to face me 'It's been 10 years doofus-- of course I've changed my shampoo! I doubt they even still make the one I used to use back then.' Oh god that smile just melts my heart and turns my legs to jelly but then her face turns serious. 'Did you ever dream of me?' 'Ha! Did I ever!' I snorted in response, nearly spilling champagne down Nicole's arm. 'So come on spill the beans!' 'Nicole, you have to remember that even though I knew where you were I didn't think I had the right to contact you; didn't think you would want me barging back into your life and declaring undying love for you. In my head you were as lost to me as I was to you, the difference is that I knew it was all my fault. On top of that I haven't had any doubt in my mind concerning my feelings for you since I was 16 years old.' 'And?' 'Well, I also had some dreams about finding or losing you but mainly my dreams of you were focused on what might have been.' 'Like what?' 'Like the sort of things we might have got up to if you felt the same about me as I felt for you.' 'Which I do' 'Yes, but I didn't know that then' 'So -- like what sort of things?' and her eyebrows arched as she tried to act innocent. It was an expression I had seen on her face many times as an adolescent but somehow it seemed even more comical on her adult face and caused me to laugh. 'You're going to make me spell it out aren't you? Ok then, many of my dreams about you involved us making mind-numbingly hot lesbian love! Happy now?' 'Mmmm very' she purred as she nuzzled her face into my neck and nibbled my earlobe. A small involuntary moan escaped my lips, encouraging her to slip one hand around my neck, holding my ear to her lips as she whispered 'and were we good together in your dreams?' 'We were better then good' I could feel my body starting to respond to her breath on my ear and the memories she was evoking. 'How good? Tell me about them.' 'I'd rather show you.' Nicole moved back and looked into my eyes, a mixture of lust and uncertainty written all over her face. 'Are we moving too fast? Should we get to know each other again? I'd hate to fuck this up just because we rushed it. Jesus, I haven't even asked if you're with someone at the moment!' 'Ok, firstly we've waited and imagined this for so long I don't think anything we do now will have a negative impact. Secondly, we are the same people we were 10 years ago, we have some catching up to do, granted, however we're basically still those 18 year old kids just with more experience and knowledge under our belts. Thirdly, I'm extremely single. Fourthly, I want you so fucking badly that if you nibble my ear once more I might explode. Fifthly, I'm bloody nervous about this too. Not because I think we'll ruin anything but because I'm afraid I won't live up to your expectations. Sixthly, Just kissing you and holding your hands is so beautiful, that if you want to take things slowly then that's what we do. I still can't believe we're here together and I'm so, so grateful that you're giving me this chance that right now you hold all the cards and you make the rules. That smile returned to her face and she clasped my hand tightly in hers as she picked up her glass and drained the last of her champagne. 'I was just checking' she grinned 'so, I wonder what a room costs here?' 'It doesn't matter what it costs. The good thing about having a very limited social life is that I have a fairly healthy savings account; let's go and see what they have available.' Nicole linked her arm through mine as we strolled into reception and a feeling of being at home washed over me. It had been many years since I'd felt this whole, this complete, this comfortable in my own skin and I could feel the smile erupt over my features. The receptionist smiled at us as we approached and soon her fingers were flying over the keyboard as she searched for an available room. 'Ladies I am so sorry, but we only have a suite available' I was about to ask how much it would cost me when the waiter from the bar called the receptionist to one side. They talked briefly, with several glances in our direction and I was beginning to wonder if we were going to get told off for our displays of affection, but then the receptionist came back to speak to us. 'Sorry about that ladies. I understand from Simon that you two are having a very special reunion, and it would be a shame for it to be spoiled because we don't have a suitable room for you. There is one room that's in the process of being refurbished -- it's all decorated but we haven't changed the carpet, curtains and furniture to match the new colour scheme yet, so we haven't been letting the room out. If you're willing to accept it I could let you have it at a very reasonable price -- Simon thinks we need to take special care of you.' We stood there flabbergasted for a second before I threw my credit card onto the counter and thanked her profusely. 'Can I arrange to have your luggage taken up to the room for you?' This had us both giggling but we politely declined and made a bee line for the lifts. The room was amazing despite the clashes in colour but we didn't really notice that until the next day. I turned to close the door and drop the key card into the light slot and when I turned around Nicole was right behind me, closing in and pinning me to the door, her lips fastening on mine with an urgency that I wasn't about to deny. I wrapped my arms around her as we kissed and could feel her whole body trembling. 'Come with me' I whispered into her ear, and taking her hand I led her over to the bed where I indicated for her to sit down. Kneeling in front of her I slipped her shoes off before discarding my own boots. Then I stretched out full on the bed and bade her into my arms, wrapping her tightly in my embrace and just revelling in the feeling of holding her tightly against me. We lay there just cuddling for a while, staring into each other's eyes and coming to terms with the intense feelings and emotions that our intimacy was provoking but as I ran my finger nail down her back I felt her shiver and saw the goose bumps it caused on her arms. Shifting position slightly so I could bring my face to hers I kissed her forehead, her nose, her eyes, her chin, before allowing my lips to skim hers gently, pulling away before she could respond. I kissed her neck and her throat before returning again to her lips, this time more firmly, allowing her to reciprocate and soon we were both moaning gently as the kiss deepened. I could feel my body aching for her touch and slid my hand between us as we kissed, undoing the buttons on her shirt and slipping it off her shoulders so that I could kiss and nibble the sensitive skin there. 'Oh god' moaned Nicole 'Jesus Sarah, your lips are wonderful!' and her hands slipped under the hem of my jumper and slid up my sides, coming to rest at the side of my breasts. 'I need your help to get this off' As I sat up to remove my jumper Nicole stood up and unceremoniously shed all of her clothes and I gasped as I saw her standing naked before me. I had remembered her body as it was at 18 but her 28 year old body was outside of my wildest expectations. She had been painfully skinny as a teenager but now, whilst still very slim, she had filled out in all of the right places with a delicate curve to her hips and smallish but very firm tits that were making me salivate. 'You're staring again; will I do?' and she performed a graceful pirouette as I sat rooted to the spot unable to believe my luck. 'Uh-huh' I stammered, my mouth too dry to be able to form coherent words. She walked around the bed and took my hands, urging me to stand up so that she could finish undressing me. I had managed to get my jumper off and now Nicole reached around me to unclasp by bra, instantly easing the pressure on my nipples that were straining against the fabric. She ran a finger down in between my breasts, down my stomach until she came to the waistband of my trousers, deftly undoing them and letting them fall in a puddle at my feet, again taking my hands as I stepped out of them. Her eyes were blazing as she hooked her fingers into the waistband of my panties before kneeling down and peeling them down my legs and gently lifting each foot to remove them completely. I was struggling to breathe by now, my desire threatening to choke me. Nicole stood up and stepped back to appraise the body she had revealed. 'Mmm, you still stay fit then' and she walked around me, trailing a finger nail around my midriff as she went, stopping to examine the scar above my right hip. 'Who hurt you?' 'no one, I fell off my mountain bike.' my breath catching in my throat as her nail travelled across my rib cage. 'Come lay down with me' and this time it was Nicole's turn to lead me to the bed. I felt a lone tear creep from my eye when we first embraced without clothes to mask the sensation. We wrapped ourselves around each other, legs and arms entwined as we sought to connect with as much skin as was possible. 'My god Nicole, you are so beautiful; even more beautiful than I remembered you as being.' and I kissed her reply away as my hand travelled up her back, over her shoulder and down to the breast. I caressed carefully and slowly before cupping her gorgeous firm tit in my hand, catching the nipple between 2 fingers and squeezing gently. She moaned into my mouth and then my restraint snapped and I rolled her onto her back, positioning myself above her. I lay between her thighs, my face level with her tits and licked under and around them as she squirmed beneath me on the opulent covers. 'Oh Jesus Sarah, please!' and I looked into her eyes and caught her glorious expression as I took the first nipple into my mouth, sucking, rolling and nibbling until her chest was heaving under me. I swapped to the other side while running my hands gently over every inch of her that I could reach and was about to start kissing lower when she caught my arms and flipped me over, startling me with her strength. Roles reversed she set to work on my eager nipples like a starving baby, and as she slid her thigh in between my legs and pressed it against my mound I felt a small but unmistakable orgasm ripple through me. This didn't go unnoticed by Nicole who smiled at me and pressed her thigh harder into me, moving it up and down, smearing my juices over her leg until I was moaning loudly. She came and lay down next to me again, both on our sides facing each other as our arms caressed downwards until we could both slip fingers into warm, wet folds of flesh. In no time at all we were humping each other's hands, fingering each other for all we were worth until we cried out together as we came in unison. 'Mmmm that was very nice as starters go.' Nicole murmured into my neck 'But I think I'm ready to proceed to the main course' and she slithered down my sweat coated body until she was laying between my thighs, her hot breath landing directly onto my clit. 'I've wondered for so long how you would taste, I can't believe I'm finally going to find out' and she took one long lick from the bottom of my pussy right up to my clit, causing my hips to rocket off the bed. 'Easy tiger!' she chided, using a phrase I recognised from our childhood 'you never were very patient' and she took another long lick, flicking her tongue around my clit this time and making me squeal. 'Damn you taste good.' I looked down and the sight of Nicole between my raised thighs, framed between my breasts was almost too much for me and I had to close my eyes to stop myself coming instantly. Nicole felt my need and slipped one, then two and then three fingers into my soaking pussy and gently suckled on my clit as she worked them in and out. I was gasping in seconds, I knew I wouldn't last very long and when she curled her fingers into my G spot I gushed over her hand and face as I screamed her name out loud. She slowed slightly as I caught my breath and removed her mouth, turning instead to kiss my inner thighs as her fingers continued a slow and sensuous assault on my pussy, bringing me back to the edge quickly and managing to hold me there for what seemed like the most wonderfully torturous eternity. My knuckles were white from gripping the sheets and my hips were rising and falling of their own volition, all conscious thought eradicated from my brain as the sensations swept over me until her mouth returned to my clit and she increased the speed of her fingers and once again I was propelled to amazing heights, lights flashing before my eyes as she took me to heaven again. Nicole crawled up my panting and heaving body to plant a very slippery kiss on my lips, her face pungent with my juice. 'Wow' she cooed into my ear 'you don't hold back do you?' and I could hear her smile at the quivering state she'd reduced me to. 'No choice' I panted, my breath finally beginning to return to me 'that was...was...fucking awesome!' and now I turned to taker her in my arms and thank her in the only way I knew how. I kissed her deeply and with every ounce of passion my tingling body had, as my hands skimmed her skin lightly. I cupped her mound putting slight pressure on her clit as my middle finger slipped inside, our tongues still duelling for supremacy. Slipping down her body I kissed her neck and her throat, and all around her small but perfectly formed tits until I could restrain myself no more and I sucked the first one into my mouth, grazing it slightly with my teeth and making her hiss her appreciation. Back and forth between her nipples, sucking and licking and nibbling until she was moaning beneath me, my finger still making lazy intrusions into her increasingly wet pussy. 'Please, oh god Sarah PLEASE!' So I kissed my way down her rib cage, all over her tight stomach, her inner thighs and finally to where I had dreamed of being for the last 10 years. Her scent was heavenly and I couldn't hold back and tease any more. I removed my fingers and speared her with my tongue, over and over, pushing as deeply as I could, lapping at her juices flowing freely. With every thrust my nose hit her clit and Nicole was moaning and thrashing on the bed, making me cling to her thighs to keep my mouth in place until I felt her whole body go rigid and her pussy walls grasp at my tongue, her contractions fierce. As her hips lowered to the bed I removed my face and slowly slipped 2 fingers into her dripping hole. Gently but firmly I built the rhythm up again until she was grunting like an animal as she came again, and again before pleading with me to let her rest. So rest we did. We curled up in each other's arms and slept entwined, a jumble of arms and legs. I awoke to a pale pre-dawn light and an empty bed. I groaned to myself, thinking I had dreamt the last 24 hours until I realised that it wasn't my bed. I sat up straight and saw Nicole sat in a chair, naked, staring out over Hyde Park, so preoccupied in her thoughts that she didn't even here me approach, my hands on her shoulders startling her. 'Sorry Babe, didn't mean to make you jump' and I leaned down and kissed her softly, noticing the tears on her face. 'Nicole, what's the matter?' Her skin felt cold and I pulled her out of the chair and back into bed, spooning her closely to warm her up. 'What happens now Sarah?' she sobbed, her tears now flowing freely 'What do you mean honey?' 'We lost each other for 10 years. We've just found each other again and spent the most wonderful night together, but what happens now? Where do we go from here? I just can't bear the thought of us leaving this hotel and heading in different directions, I'm so scared I'll lose you again!' and she turned in my arms and held me so tightly it drove the air from my lungs. 'Ssshhh Babe.' I ran my fingers through her hair, she had always found that calming when we were young 'I told you last night, you hold all the cards and if you want to then you can dictate whatever comes next, but be sure of this -- I am never, ever letting you go again!' We made love again, slowly and sensuously before slipping back into a deep sleep. Well, Nicole did call the shots -- and I agreed with every decision she made. It turned out that we'd only lived about 8 miles apart for the last couple of years so we got a taxi from the hotel to her place where she packed a suitcase and then she drove us to my house. She's still here, and next week we'll be moving the rest of her stuff in as the estate agent has finally found someone to rent her flat to. My Dearest Nicole Within 2 weeks Nicole had insinuated herself into every aspect of my life except work (her choice!), although my colleagues and staff have all met her and think she's great. We see her Mum quite a lot and every time we go she greets me like a long lost daughter; I've been buying that woman a lot of flowers! My Mum? Well, my sister (who is ecstatic for Nicole and I and keeps taking full credit for reuniting us) told her our news a few weeks ago. Apparently she just flopped down into a chair and cried. I've written to her twice but I've had no response -- I don't even know if she's read the letters. Oh well what can I do? Mum's acceptance would be nice but it's not the be-all and end-all in life. I have my beautiful Nicole back in my life and all is right with my world.