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My Awakening

By: Baxx



(This is the most vividly remembered night of my life, even through the haze of the wine and a separation of a decade. Am I embroidering any of it, bringing together more than one evening, making it all more exciting? Possibly; they say time makes liars of us all, and when it was happening it happened with bodies and lust and passion, not so much with words. But this all happened, pretty close to like this, and if I manage to make it seem a TENTH as good as it really was it will be a bloody miracle.)


So there I was. Married in '85, betrayed for the new millennium. Curled up at one end of our vast living room sofa with my stocking feet tucked up under my bum and a large glass of Merlot in my hand, my new neighbour Lisa at the other end of the sofa. Well new-ish, she'd been around 6 months or so. David and Sarah, my kids, were both out on sleepovers. Just me, Lisa, candlelight and a roaring fire.

Discussing HIM, the bastard.

"How long?" Lisa asked me.

"Over a year. He won't say exactly. Can't be much more than 2 years though, or I'd have had the police on to him. Fucking cradle snatcher."

"You CAN'T think he ..."

"No. No, not really, the girl's only four years older than Sarah but as much as I hate him, I don't think he is into children. Bet he likes the barely legal side of it though. Bastard."

"You're going to divorce him of course?"

"Of course. Sarah's 14, David's 13, they're old enough to understand."

"What about money?"

"I'm going to take him to the fucking cleaners, hon. He's run a good business with me at home playing perfect wifey for him. While he chases pussy fresh out of school skirts."

"You keeping the house?"

"For now. It'll be too big when the kids leave home, so I'm planning to cut a deal with him. He gets my half, and I get the cottage in Cornwall, but it's me and the kids living here till David leaves school."

"So where will Adam live?"

"He can live with his Barbie doll and her parents for all I care."

"And you? Are you ready to move on?"

"Gimme a minute." I downed the last of the wine and poured another one. Bottle empty, so I trudged off to the kitchen and grabbed another off the rack, pulled the cork and carried it back into the lounge with me to breathe. Adam's precious 30 quid a bottle stuff as well, not the supermarket specials he expected us to drink for everyday use.

I plonked the plonk on the coffee table and settled myself back on the sofa. "Move on? Hell yes." But then I frowned and admitted what I'd never really acknowledged before. "But you know, I don't really care. Adam's not fucked me in over five years and I – I never even really noticed. I don't enjoy sex. Never have. So not sure what moving on will mean. Just being me I guess."

Lisa leaned forward intently. "Never enjoyed sex? Sure it's not just Adam? Is he the only ..."

"No, no, there were two or three before him. I was no virgin bride. It never really appealed though. Like going to action movies because that's all the guys want to see. I did it 'cos it was the thing to do."

She looked me really deep in the eyes. "What about girls?"

"What about ...!" I must have looked really, incredibly puzzled. Then I laughed out loud. "You mean like – les?"

"Well, duh."

"I – I've never felt like that about a woman." I swear on a stack of Cosmos, I'd never given the idea a moment's thought in my life. It just wasn't anything I'd explored in my mind. I mean, I could tell when a girl was pretty, or beautiful, or even indefinably attractive. I assumed everyone could. But fanciable? By me? Perhaps I'd just never thought at ALL.

"Well it seems to me, hon, you've never felt like that about a man either." Lisa put her glass down and moved closer in to me. "Lorraine."

"What?" Colour me clueless.

"You know – we've talked, right, about dates I've been on?"

"Yeah, I remember you telling me about 'em. Dan. Sam? Tony?"

She smiled. "Yeah. I was just passing the time. They weren't the bringing-home kind of dates, I'm still new here and was settling in. Plus, there was – someone else."

"Ohh, someone from your past?"

She snorted. "No, someone new. Someone here."

"Do I know him?" See. Still clueless. I gulped a large slurp of wine.

"Jesus woman. OK, listen again. My dates since moving here. Danielle. Samantha. Toni with an 'i'."

My eyes widened. "Lisa, you're –"

" – a lesbian. A carpet muncher. A dyke."

She moved in closer still and her gaze was so intense – I'd never been looked at like that before. Never. "I'm about to risk our friendship now, and I don't care. The reason those dates were never going to get anywhere – was you, Lorraine."

I must have looked panicky. I bloody felt it. 

"Me?"

"You. I saw you when I came to view the house, over the hedge. You were even part of the reason I bought it. Not that I thought we'd ever get anywhere but – I fancied you something rotten.

"I still do."

Rabbit in the headlights time. I hadn't seen this coming. I didn't have the mindset to even think it could be coming. But there she was, almost touching me, her eyes pleading, frizzy blonde hair framing her attractive oval face, her full red lips parted slightly.

Her hand slid onto my knee and she began to move forward, nervously. If I was going to stop her, now was the moment.

Instead, I put my glass down and lifted my hand to her cheek, caressing it with the back of my knuckles. "I might not really want this, you know."

"I know."

"But you, you want me? Really want me?"

"More than anything I've ever wanted. You have no idea, Lorraine."

"But I'm not beautiful. Not desirable. Just an ordinary mum in her thirties with a laugh like a bandsaw and a beaky nose."

"You're beautiful to me. You're desirable to me." Her hand slid softly up from my knee, under the edge of my skirt. It felt like it was burning into my thigh.

"Lisa. Oh, Lisa. I have no idea what I'm doing." 

But I sat forward, and it was me that kissed her. Not her that kissed me. That was important to me: that I make the choice, positively, to begin to make love to another woman.

My arms wrapped around her and as we embraced, our breasts pressed together. My mouth parted and her tongue rolled around mine, and mine rolled around hers. And I knew. Deep inside I knew. 35 years. 25 years since puberty. All that time what I'd needed, without knowing it, was the touch of a woman.

A deep heat rose up inside me, a lust I'd never known before. I could feel my knickers growing damp with desire. Nothing would ever be the same again.

I couldn't believe how natural it felt, passionately kissing another woman, feeling her fingers stroking my inner thigh. Lisa's lithe body pressed into me and I slid my bum down along the sofa so we'd be lying down with her beside and half on top of me. In so doing, I wound up with her palm pressed flat against my knickers. I opened my legs wide. 

"God, Lisa, I'm so WET for you. Adam never made me feel like this!" 

"Less talking. More kissing. Me Tarzana. You Jane." 

"Yes, mistress." I sucked hard on her tongue as it probed deep into my mouth, and my hands slid back round under her and started unbuttoning her blouse. Meanwhile she had pushed the damp fabric of my panties to one side and her finger slid gently up and down the length of my cleft, slowly parting my labia, exposing the hood of my eager clit. 

"Oooh front clasp on bra! Very sexy." I fumbled inexpertly for a second or two though – how come I could reach round behind myself and unfailingly unhook and hook up first time, but I couldn't manage it with a bra whose fastenings were right in front of me? "Haha, Lisa darling, I'm going to need practice at this." 

Darling. I just called a woman darling. And I didn't care. 

"Don't worry, Lorraine. I'll give you plenty of opportunity to practice." 

The bra opened and Lisa's breasts swung free and into my hands. They were firm and pliant and her nips were rock hard, pressing into my palms. My first truly new sensation, really – I'd been kissed before, and fingered before. But I'd never fondled another woman's breasts. 

On the other hand, I'd never been fingered like THAT before – I squealed as Lisa took my clit between thumb and one finger, squeezed it firmly and pulled at it. She grinned evilly at me. 

"You like?" 

"Oh my god Oh my god YES!" I squeezed and pulled on Lisa's nipples the same way I'd have done for myself, luxuriating in the sensation of feeling her sensitive skin, her areolae puckering up under my touch. 

Her middle finger slid down and probed deeply into my wet pussy. I was creaming like crazy, and I shuddered in ecstasy as a second finger joined it and her fingers curled a little, caressing the front of my pussy walls where - 

"FUCK Lisa, what are you doing? That's WONDERFUL!" My whole body jerked as it squeezed tightly on those fingers, trying to hold them JUST there. 

She gazed at me with a look of astonishment. "No one ever found your G spot before?" 

"No-one's ever tried. Except me, and – FUCK oh my god do that again – I think it's like tickling. You can't do it to yourself, not the same way." 

"Or you just suck at wanking." She stuck her tongue out at me, so I grabbed it between my teeth and sucked it in for another prolonged bout of French. There was no good answer to the wanking comment. 

She gave me that dirty smile again. "You'll be telling me no-one's ever gone down on you next." 

"Well actually ... " 

"NO!" 

"Just kidding! Sorta. But 2 quick licks and a slobbery kiss to get me wet never did very much for me." 

"Lorraine?" 

"What?" 

"Take me to bed. NOW. You have one heck of a lot of deprivation for me to make up for." 

She removed her left hand from inside me and stood up, and then offered me that hand to help me to get up. But I grabbed her wrist and pulled those sticky fingers toward me and popped them in my mouth. "I've never tasted myself from someone else's hand either. Yum." 

"Yum?" 

I stood up and led her by the hand towards the bedroom. 

"Yum. Now come and show me everything else I've been missing."

* * *

All the way up the stairs I was acutely aware that, leading Lisa by the hand like this, my bum was undulating right in front of her face. I was tempted to roll my hips just a little bit more as I went ... OK, I probably did. 

As the bedroom door closed behind us, Lisa's open blouse and bra were already on the floor. She stood in front of me, naked to the waist, her breasts firm and aroused, her figure-hugging jeans and bare feet somehow suddenly a turn-on in themselves. 

"Stay perfectly still, Lori. I want to undress you." 

Lori. That was a new one. It thrilled me inside. Daft eh? I was Lorraine to the world, Lol to my friends. (That one died a death a few years ago. Doubt there's a woman in the world that gets called Lol anymore!) Now I was Lori to my new lover. 

Lover. I was still utterly stupefied by that. Two hours ago I had been a bitter, straight soon-to-be-divorcée. Now I was a lovelorn lesbian wretch. 

Lesbian. Well, no, I wasn't. Not yet, not in my head. I was just desperate to make love with another woman! 

Lisa came in close; I could feel the warmth of her skin, smell the fruity-floral conditioner in her gorgeous tumbling blonde frizzy curls. She put her arms around me and unfastened the waistband of my skirt, and pulled down smoothly on the short zip. The skirt slithered to the floor, pooling at my feet. In a practised motion she gripped the hem of my top and pulled upwards, the tips of her fingers stroking my back firmly as she lifted it up and over my head in a single smooth motion, stepping back so that my arms would slip easily out of the sleeves. Then she stared at me with dark, passionate eyes, their blue so deep and intense they were almost violet, and licked her lips slowly. 

"Oh, Lori, you look good enough to EAT." 

I watched in fascination as she dropped to her knees in front of me and slowly peeled down my soaking wet knickers, her nose burrowing delicately into the soft, trimmed curls of my bush as she inhaled deeply, at the same time nudging my ankles to make me lift my feet one at a time to get the knickers out of the way. 

I gasped as her long, firm tongue lapped rapidly upwards along my cleft and flicked at my clit. And carried on upwards, to my belly button, slowly up my abdomen and between my breasts as she got to her feet slowly and carefully, never breaking body contact, her nipples stroking up my thighs and stomach as she rose up. She lifted her face to mine and her hands reached up, pulling my head down into a deep, slow kiss. Her fingers travelled down my spine and expertly unhooked my bra even as her tongue explored the depths of my mouth. 

She stepped back again and grinned as she screwed the peach silk prize of my bra into a scrunchy ball and tossed it over her shoulder. 

"Good enough to eat indeed, and I'm going to have the full menu!" She grinned in delight at me, standing naked before her except for my black thigh-high holdup stockings. 

"Unfair!" I yelled at her, and pointed at her jeans. "Get 'em off!" 

She shrugged and undid the buckle of her belt and the top two buttons of the jeans, and hooking her thumbs into the sides she slid her knickers and jeans straight off in two seconds flat. 

"Better?" she asked wickedly. 

"Much!" I laughed. Then I stared in astonishment. Her pussy was totally bare – completely shaven. I'd never seen that in a grown woman. 

"Do you like what you see?" There was a hint of anxiety in her voice. I was speechless for a moment, but managed to reply huskily after a couple of seconds. "Oh Lisa. You're BEAUTIFUL. PERFECT." 

I bent to begin to roll down my stockings but Lisa reached forward and grabbed my wrists, stopping me. "Don't," she said. "Leave them on for now. If I want them off – I'LL remove them." 

Then she stepped forward to right in front of me again, and we embraced. Bare stomach to bare stomach, breasts to breasts, thighs to thighs. She stepped forward and I stepped back, and she gently pressed me backwards so that we both tumbled onto the bed. My marital bed, where Adam and I had spent so many, many nights. Tedious nights of peremptory sex, roll over and sleep, to begin with. Nights of just read, roll over and sleep, for at least the last five years. It was a place I hadn't enjoyed coming to in longer than I cared to remember. 

So tonight was the night all that changed. 

Our limbs intertwined and I lay back, Lisa on top of me, and we just kissed, and fondled, tasted each other's mouths and smelled each other's skin, each of us with a thigh pressed between the other's, resting and gently rubbing against the heat of our partner's pussy. We could have been like that for ten minutes – or it could have been an hour. It was timeless, sensual, indulgent. Pure sexuality with no urgent need to progress on to sex. 

I'm pretty sure that it wasn't because I was scared, or hesitant. I was just savouring all of it, the joyous NEW sensation of wanting and being wanted. And knowing that there was more to come, I was reluctant to give up the anticipation of it all. 

Plus, it felt pretty fucking good just the way it was. 

After an eternity of this bliss, Lisa stepped it up a notch. "Just lie still, Lori," she murmured into my ear. She nibbled my earlobe, then kissed lightly down the side of my neck, letting me feel her teeth without in any way biting. Her tongue lapped at the hollow of my throat and then she licked smoothly down and to the left till she reached my nipple. She sucked it deep into her mouth then latched on with her teeth, suckling and biting till my tit was tingling and throbbing like it was about to explode. Moving across she did the same for the other nipple, while the fingers of her right hand twirled around the damp, erect skin of my rock-hard left nipple. 

I was moaning and writhing slowly – no WAY could I totally just lie still – and a tiny electrical explosion, a mini-orgasm, ran through my body from deep down low. I gasped and dug my fingernails into the bed, my body arching. 

And now her tongue continued its journey, down my belly, into my navel, down to the heart of my womanhood. With loving hands she bent my legs at the knees, lifted and spread my thighs wide, and spreading her tongue wide she took a slow loving lick, starting just barely in front of my anus and pressing firmly up between my pussy lips, all the way up to my barely-hooded clit which she wrapped her tongue round and then sucked, sucked it like she had my nipples, fierce and demanding; I could feel my clit tingling and growing, firming while just below it my quim was softening, opening up, gaping. 

She nibbled and bit at the hard, throbbing button of my clitoris and I bucked and screamed, feeling hot sticky juice almost gushing out, running down into my butt cheeks as I came, climaxing solidly forever and ever ... or at least, for about ten seconds! 

Then that loving tongue moved down and I heard and felt the eager slurping as she licked up my cream, her tongue spiralling all around my sensitive asshole, up and forward again and delving two inches deep into my humming pussy, circling inside my gaping hole and making me tremble and moan as Lisa mm'd and aah'd in pleasure, licking and swallowing greedily. She brought me to a screaming climax for a third time, diving into me with her tongue, her nose pressing and rubbing on my clit as she tried to drink me dry. 

I'd had NO IDEA oral could feel that good. 

And yet I was still feeling empty inside, and eager for more! "Please," I gasped at her. "Lisa. Come up here and kiss me."

She moved up to comply. Her lips met mine and I was swept away by the astonishing taste of me, hot, sweet, sticky, mingled with our spit as our tongues danced, mine in her mouth, hers in mine. 

As we paused for a deep breath I added my next plea. 

"Finger fuck me again. Fuck me HARD."

My Awakening



Looking back at it now, perhaps it was obvious, but at the time I thought I was just like any other unattached heterosexual woman in her late twenties. I had an active lifestyle, a good job, was reasonably intelligent, sociable (although slightly reserved), fit and healthy, slim figure, and I'm told; was considered attractive.

I had been through a number of relationships, always hopeful of finding "the one" but never feeling that spark that you expect when you finally find him. I'd had one romance that I thought was close, it started very promising, lots of fun and good sex but after a while I realised there was something missing, so I ended it.

I was quite happy with my life, work kept me busy and I was positive about the future but other people didn't agree. Being "still single at your age" when you are expected to be settling down, I was getting lots of hints and offers of "I can fix you up with my brother" or "there's a guy at work who's single" etc etc. I did show willing a few times but of course it never worked out. Evenings sat in a restaurant trying to make conversation with someone I had nothing in common with, or listening to a guy who talked non stop about himself and showed no interest in my likes and dislikes, was not my idea of fun.

I became a popular fall back date, for trips to the theatre, parties or some such other social event by friends or work colleagues who's partner had at the last minute fallen ill or couldn't make it for some reason. It was on such an occasion when it finally happened, my life changed forever but in a way I would never have expected.

My boss Phil, who had recently split with his wife Julia, asked if I would accompany him (for moral support) to his ex's office Christmas party. Phil had previously got on well with Julia's work colleagues, they had often socialised, and so it was no surprise when he got the invitation. Julia and Phil were still on good terms but found it difficult without others around them.

On the day of the party, a Friday, I decided to take the afternoon off work, giving me more time to get ready. The party was being held at a nearby up-market hotel that the company used for visiting clients, so it was going to be dressy affair. I wore the outfit that I bought back in the summer for a friends wedding. Phil was picking me up at 7, which was getting closer and closer as I fussed over my appearance, I couldn't get my hair right so in the end had to leave it down, curling it with the tongs as best I could to make it presentable then rushing with my make-up. At seven o'clock sharp, Phil arrived (looking rather dapper I must say) and off we went.

We arrived to a grand reception, waiters serving drinks and everyone in good spirits. I felt very conspicuous clutching onto Phil's arm but we were greeted with mostly warm and friendly smiles. I did notice a few smirks when they saw Phil had company but it was the look on Julia's face that took me back a bit. She quickly recovered and came over to us, giving Phil a kiss (on the lips) and warm hug for me. A waiter came by and offered us drinks, which being nervous; I accepted a bit too eagerly and before I knew it I'd drained the glass. Phil and Julia were chatting away comfortably and after a while, not wanting to get in the way; I made an excuse to powder my nose.

On the way to the ladies room I bumped into a guy I knew from my old sailing club days. In my late teens I used to sail small sailing dinghies (not very well!) and Mark was one of the people I raced with. We got chatting, reminiscing about our lost youth, he got me another drink and we carried on talking. He'd been working for the company for several years as a designer and knew Julia and Phil well. It wasn't long before the drink started to affect me; I was feeling quite lightheaded. I hadn't eaten much that day, partially from a loss of appetite from nerves and also not wanting to spoil tonight's dinner.

It was at this point that I noticed a pair of eyes staring at me from across the room, they were gorgeous, I couldn't take my eyes away. My stomach started doing somersaults, I could feel myself trembling and my cheeks were burning. I tried to tear my eyes away and carry on the conversation with Mark but I couldn't concentrate, I just wanted to get lost in the depths of those incredible eyes. The eyes belonged to the most beautiful woman I've ever seen; about my age, maybe a little older, she was of similar height and build to me, possibly slightly taller, her face was just perfect, with the most amazing auburn curls falling onto slender shoulders covered with silk like skin, pert breasts, a slim waist and long shapely legs, she was stunning. She was wearing a striking, very dark brown figure hugging dress trimmed with gold, she looked so elegant. Mark was saying something to me with a concerned look on his face; I reluctantly dragged myself back to reality and realised we were being called for dinner. I quickly ran over to Phil who was still talking to Julia and we made our way through to the restaurant.

I was in a daze, I couldn't think straight and I was still shaking, was it the drink? My cheeks must've been bright red; Julia was asking if I was ok. I just hung on to Phil as we walked into the large room, letting him lead me to where we were sitting. The layout of the restaurant consisted of five or six large round tables, each laid with places (named) for around a dozen people. I was seated next to Phil, with Julia to his right (contrived or what!). It was a boy-girl-boy-girl layout so when I sat (nearly fell) down, I was greeted by a cheery looking fifty something man named Joe on my left. Joe proved to be a godsend and kept me going throughout the meal, Phil and Julia were totally absorbed in each other so I didn't get much conversation out of them. Joe chatted about all sorts of subjects (much to the annoyance of his wife, who sat to his left!) asking about my job and interests I had outside of work.

After being seated for a few minutes I began to recover enough to relax a bit and take note of whom and what was around me. As I quickly looked around our table, going from left to right, I could almost feel her presence before I even got to where she was sat; the auburn haired "Goddess" I'd seen earlier was actually sat on the same table, just a few places to my right. My heart nearly jumped through my ribcage and my stomach did more somersaults, I looked away quickly but not quickly enough for her not to have noticed me staring with what must've been the dumbest expression on my face, I blushed, my whole face must've been bright red as Joe asked if I was alright, my heart was racing and I felt so hot. Throughout the rest of the meal I couldn't help but keep glancing at her, she was so hypnotic and must've noticed me staring because I'm sure she was looking at me while I had my head turned talking to Joe; I could somehow feel here gaze. I didn't eat much of the lovely food we were served, I just pushed it around my plate, my stomach was all in knots, I couldn't get her out of my mind. Whenever I felt her looking in my direction I would start to get aroused, I couldn't stop myself, my nipples were hardening and I felt a great heat between my legs, for God's sake; not even the most sexy guy I'd ever met had this effect on me, why should a woman make me feel this way?

The meal was finished and more drinks were brought round, which seemed to keep me going. The CEO gave a speech and then wished everyone a merry Christmas; finally we all toasted for the success of the forthcoming year. With the formalities out of the way, the tables were cleared away and a band started playing, trying to temp people onto the dance floor. The flow of drink had lowered people's inhibitions so it wasn't long before the room was full of dancers. I decided to look for Mark as Joe's wife had dragged him off to dance and Phil and Julia were wrapped up in each other.

I spotted Mark talking to someone at the bar so I made my way over to where he was stood. After squeezing past a group of people stood near the bar, I stopped dead in my tracks; right in front of me was the "Goddess"; she was the person I'd seen Mark talking to. I must've been there only a second or two but it seemed like minutes before I regained my wits and started backing away but they must've seen my movement, for they both looked around in my direction. She looked straight at me, disarming me with the most wonderful smile. Once again my heart pounded like crazy, my stomach hit the ceiling and my knees went weak. Recovering as best as I could I tried to smile back, I must've had such a stupid look on my face; mouth gaping and eyes popping out of my head. Mark was looking at me and moving his mouth, I then realised he was talking to me; "hello again Rachelle" he said. Then through the crashing in my chest I could just hear he was introducing me to the beautiful Goddess; "Amanda this is Rachelle, an old sailing friend of mine. Rachelle this is Amanda, who is one of the consultants we use" We smile and shake hands, just making physical contact with her has an electrifying effect on me. I struggled to regain my composure but managed to pull myself together in time to reply to Mark who was asking me if I was feeling ok. Amanda looked concerned and said that I looked a bit pale and she'd noticed I hadn't eaten much at dinner. I made an excuse; blaming it on the drinks we had before dinner.

The three of us settled into a conversation, for my part I was just happy listening to the sound of her voice but Amanda kept me talking, asking about my connection with the company, I explained about Phil and Julia, we agreed how lovely it was to see them getting on so well, saying it would be so good if they could get back together. After a while Mark made his excuses, saying he'd spotted someone over the other side of the room he needed to see. Amanda and I both laughed when we saw who that someone was; a rather attractive blonde who was all smiles as Mark led her onto the dance floor.

Time seemed to fly by as Amanda and I chatted easily about all sorts of subjects, she soothed my nervousness away. It turned out we had a lot in common; our likes, dislikes and expectations were very similar. I learned that she was 30, single and loved the outdoor life. She was very career minded and had, despite her young age, worked her way up to partner level in the Management Consultancy firm where she worked. She too had had disappointments in romance and had endured pressure from her parents to find a partner but she was happy with the way things were, especially with work keeping her busy most of the time.

It only seemed like we'd been talking a few minutes but apparently nearly half an hour had passed, when turning around after receiving a tap on my shoulder I found Joe looking at me with a big smile on his face. He insisted I dance with him; he grabbed my hand and dragged me off to the dance floor. Having now recovered from my previous dreamlike state, I was now enjoying the evening; Joe was really getting carried away, making me laugh with his antics and drawing quite an audience. I could see Amanda grinning at me from the sidelines but it wasn't long before the smile was wiped from her face when she too was pulled onto the dance floor, the CEO who had now loosened up a great deal, taken off his jacket and tie, was displaying his dancing skills with the best of them. We all laughed and enjoyed the spectacle of these normally stuffy guys, who'd now been transformed into, in some cases, quite impressive movers. After a few more dances, they began to run out of steam and headed for the bar, which just left Amanda, me and few of the other younger women to dance by ourselves.

A couple of songs later, the band slowed things right down and couples came on to dance with arms wrapped around each other. I was about to make my way to the side when Amanda grabbed me, put her arms around my waist and pulled me close to her. Without even thinking, I just put my arms around her neck and cuddled into her as we moved slowly around the room. It all seemed so natural, to hold and be held by this wonderful creature, it felt like something once lost had now returned, like coming home after a long long journey, sheer contentment and joy. An incredible warmth and serenity seemed to envelope us; the whole world disappeared, leaving just the two of us. Her smell, the smoothness of her skin, the pressure of her breasts against mine and the security of her arms around my waist made me feel like I was in heaven. Everything about her seemed so familiar, like we'd done this a thousand times before. Amanda was pressing her face against my cheek; I felt her sweet breath on me, I could feel myself getting aroused, my nipples were hardening and between my legs my sex was getting hot and wet. Without thinking I moved my head round to face her and kissed her, it must've lasted for just two or three seconds, our mouths opened and we plunged our tongues into each other, exploring and tasting each other, tongues entwined. 

Suddenly, reality hit me and I realised what I'd done, I pulled away, shocked. Not looking at Amanda and not sure what else to do, I just ran off the dance floor and headed for the Ladies room. Once inside I locked myself into one of the cubicles, fortunately no one else was there to see me; tears were streaming down my face, I was shaking all over, I felt hysterical, what had I done! What would Amanda think of me? She'll never have anything to do with me again, did anyone else see me? I cried and cried, going over and over the events in my head, I was so confused, was that really me, kissing a woman? I'd never had sexual thoughts about women before, ok so I did like to look at other girls in the changing rooms when I was at school and at uni but not in that way.

Slowly I calmed down enough to hear a gentle knocking on the cubicle door and a concerned voice asking if I was ok. It was her, it was Amanda. I didn't know what to say, I told her I wanted to be left alone but she was persistent and gradually by gentle persuasion she made unlock the door. I couldn't look her in the eyes, I was still sobbing and must've looked dreadful; red eyes, blotchy skin and makeup all down my face. She brought me a glass of water and tried to tidy me up a bit but I still couldn't speak or manage to look her straight in the face. She had that concerned look again and spoke to me in a soothing voice, attempting to cheer me up, telling how funny some of the other people looked while dancing, trying to make me laugh and take my mind off my distress. When I felt a bit better she held me by my shoulders and made me look at her; she said everything was ok and not to worry, it was just the heat of the moment, she wasn't upset or offended; it just happened. I apologised and thanked her for all she'd done in looking after me. It was getting late now so I said I should be getting home and asked if she would mind getting my coat. Amanda returned a few minutes later wearing her own coat and carrying mine. She said that as Phil was still with Julia, she'd promised him that she would see me home and had already phoned for a taxi.

A few minutes later as we walked out through the hotel foyer, I realised that the events of the evening had taken their toll on me; I was tired, I'd had nothing to eat virtually all day, more drink than I can handle and now the cold air was making it worse, I felt a bit woozy and everything seemed to be spinning around me. I thanked Amanda for her kindness and understanding once again, she just looked at me with those big green eyes, gave me one of her wonderful smiles and put her arm around me and guided me towards the waiting taxi.

I gave the cabbie my address and we both slid into the back seat and set off. The movement of the taxi made me feel sleepy, Amanda pulled me close to her and held my hand, she was talking to me but I had no idea what she was saying, I just rested my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. The next thing I remember was Amanda gently shaking me, I'd fallen fast asleep; we had arrived at my apartment and she was climbing out of the cab. Fumbling for my keys I followed her and made my way (stumbled!) up the steps towards the entrance hall as Amanda paid the cabbie. I felt so weak, she had to support me as we made our way through the entrance and into the lift. As the doors closed behind us I tried to apologise for my condition but Amanda just smiled and put her arms around me and for the second time that evening, I felt that same warm contended feeling I'd experienced earlier. The moment was only too brief as the elevator soon chimed; telling us we'd reached my floor and the doors slid open. Amanda took my keys as I showed her to my apartment, she unlocked the door and we both entered.

Once inside, I expected Amanda would want to take her leave and make her way home but to my delight she insisted on staying for a while to make sure I was all right. I was totally exhausted by now so she sat me down on the couch and went to find the kitchen to make some coffee. I remember her asking if I took sugar and hearing a few chinking noises as she found the cups, I closed my eyes with more sounds coming from the kitchen and.......... that was the last I remember. 

The next thing I was aware of was being in a large, elegantly decorated house with comfortable furniture arranged around a beautiful expansive lounge. A roaring fire was burning in a grand fireplace and through bright windows I could see green fields with horses grazing in the distance. Somehow I knew this was my home and we were preparing for a great celebration, I was so pleased; I'd found something that I had been looking for such a long time. I'd searched far and wide for this thing, No!; it was a person, someone very special. At last we had found each other, the person I loved had come home to me. We kissed and held each other, bathing in the rapture and contentment we both felt. Then you were calling out my name, "Rachelle, Rachelle"..... 

Then I woke up, I was in bed in my little one bedroom flat, I'd been dreaming. I lay there for a while with my eyes closed, remembering the dream, it was such a happy one, I just wanted to go back to sleep and carry on with it. I became aware that my head was aching and I was very thirsty, my mouth was so dry. I then remember having too much to drink at the Christmas party and then..... it comes back to me; that beautiful, wonderful, incredible woman Amanda. OH MY GOD AMANDA! And I kissed her! I actually kissed her...my stomach flipped over several times; I opened my eyes and sat up with a jolt! Things slowly started clearing in my head, I remember Amanda bringing me home, we got a taxi, then in the lift she gave me a hug, we were in my lounge, then... I don't remember anything else, or how I got to bed. I looked down at myself, I'm wearing just my underwear, I can see my clothes neatly hung on the back of a chair. I then notice some noises coming from the kitchen, I hear someone walking towards my bedroom and then......... it's as if I'm dreaming again; those enchanting green eyes, wonderful auburn hair framing the most beautiful face and that incredibly sexy smile; my heart starts to race as Amanda glides into my room, wearing my bathrobe and carrying a cup of tea. "Ah" she said, "you are awake, I called you a couple of times, how are you feeling this morning?" I looked at her in amazement as she put my tea down and sat on the edge of the bed. I can't think what to say, I just nod my head and smile, I'm so happy and it really is her, not just a dream. While I drank my much-appreciated cup of tea, she explained that last night, when she came out of the kitchen with the coffee, she found that I was fast asleep. She managed to get me into the bedroom and onto the bed, took off my shoes, undressed me and tucked me up in bed. She then went back into the lounge and not wanting to leave me on my own, decided to sleep on the couch (how does she spend the night on a couch and still look that good in the morning?).




My Awakening



Amanda chatted away, making me laugh as she joked again about the funny events of the previous evening and the attempts some of the guys made at dancing. I slowly started to feel more awake, my headache was subsiding and I was enjoying the company. The conversation paused and we looked at each other, Amanda took both my hands, putting her fingers through mine, she then lent forward and to my astonishment, she kissed me full on the lips. It was the most passionate kiss I have ever had; our mouths opened and our tongues hungrily sought each another. Tasting and feeling the texture of her sweet lips my body responded to her. Still locked together, I shuffled over and down on the bed, allowing Amanda more room, she moved closer, lying next to me now, I disengaged my hands from hers and found a gap through her robe and lustily slid my fingers up and down her back, tracing the line of her spine down to her firm bottom. We kissed and kissed, she tasted so good, Amanda moved her hands down my shoulders, pulling my bra straps onto my arms, my arousal was so intense as she ran her fingers over my breast, pushing my bra down she found my erect nipples, I gasped as a flush of pleasure ran through me. I responded by lifting up my hips, meeting with Amanda's pubic bone and grinding rhythmically my already wet sex into her. We were both moaning with the sheer ecstasy, getting more and more aroused as our minds and bodies merged. Then, as if both recognising it at the same time, we relaxed and pulled back, lying side by side we looked into each others eyes, communicating by some unknown form, acknowledging what was between us but both not willing to take the physical attraction further, at least, not for the present.

We must've both dozed off, as sometime later I awoke to find that we were still wrapped in each other arms. Amanda was still asleep, I studied her perfect face listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing, I smiled to myself, feeling happiness spread throughout my whole being. I kissed her nose and whispered her name, slowly she stirred, opening her eyes and smiling she said "hello beautiful". This gave me such surge of emotion; I giggled like a teenager and hugged her tightly, never wanting to let go. After laying like this for some time, just staring into each others eyes, my stomach started rumbling, we both laughed, I hadn't eaten for nearly 24hrs and was now starving. I jumped out of bed, pulling on some old tracksuit bottoms and a fleece top, then headed towards the kitchen to see what I could muster up.

Half an hour later we were both sat at the kitchen table tucking into a feast of bacon, eggs and tomato with buttered toast. After satisfying our hunger, over a second cup of coffee we started to talk about what we should do next. I don't think it had really sunk in, neither Amanda nor I had ever expected to fall for another woman. I had never consciously had yearnings for someone of the same sex before, I just expected that eventually I'd fall in love with some guy and we'd get married. It was so alien to my religious upbringing to even think about loving another woman, however, we were both realists and decided just to take it one day at a time. We wanted to spend the rest of the weekend together but both had things that needed to be done; chores and errands etc. We decided to share each other's workload, starting with mine then going over to Amanda's in the afternoon. Amanda got in the shower while I sorted out some clothes for her to wear; I loaded the washing machine and then had my shower. We got on with the work at hand; cleaning and tidying etc. all the while I couldn't stop smiling and thinking to myself; here I was, with someone I didn't even know existed this time yesterday, now can't bear the thought of being without her. Every time we passed one another in the course of our work we would kiss or just hug, I was floating on air.

With the work at mine all done in no time, I packed a weekend case and then we jumped into my car and headed for the supermarket to get supplies for the week ahead. Halfway through the shopping, we realised that we selecting items for the two of us together and not buying singly. It then hit me that without even making a conscious decision, we had both just taken it for granted that we would now be living as one. I paused for a few seconds and smiled at Amanda with a warm cosy feeling spreading around me. After the supermarket we called into the dry cleaners and chemist, then headed for Amanda's, which I found out was in a very nice part of town. Her apartment was much larger that mine, three bedrooms, an expansive lounge, dining room and an amazing kitchen. I wandered round; looking at the rooms, the furniture, the pictures on the walls and ornaments she had accumulated. I liked her taste very much, there were also lots photos of family and places she'd visited on display, I felt comfortable and at home here. She has someone in to do the cleaning so there wasn't too much to do apart from the laundry and a bit of tidying, so after finding my way round the kitchen I packed the groceries away, while Amanda tidied up her clothes and put the wash-load on. I had made some tea so when we both finished our chores, we went and sat down in the lounge to drink our tea and relax.

We were sitting on the settee holding hands, just enjoying being close to one another. Amanda had put on some soft music and we sat back and relaxed, we kissed, talked and kissed some more, the whole world seemed a better place. After finishing our tea, we both stretched out on the settee with our feet up. I rested my head on Amanda's chest while she caressed my face, gently running her fingers over my closed eyes, down my nose, over my lips, around my cheeks and back up to my forehead; it was blissful, so serene. We both fell silent; I could hear her heart beating and feel the gentle rise and fall from her breathing. As we lay there, I slowly went over the thoughts that were running through my head, so much had happened in a short space of time, a life-changing event but I had no doubts in my mind whatsoever. I knew straight away that Amanda was the one for me and I have no doubts in her either, I'm so happy to have found her. I realised that even from the first time I saw her looking at me from across the room, I knew. As my eyes met hers, something deep inside me stirred, it was almost spiritual. It was as if I'd always known her; everything about her was so familiar even though I knew we had never met. I guess Amanda was doing the same as me; pondering over what exactly had happened between us, excited about this wonderful new existence.

I was stirred from my reverie by warm lips nibbling at my ear; I opened my eyes and put my arm out to pull myself round to face Amanda. I stared into the depths of her green eyes; she leaned forward, kissed me and rubbed her nose against mine. I guess my subconscious must've come to a decision whilst my mind was wandering because at this point I felt a stirring inside and realised I wanted Amanda to make love to me. Earlier, when we were in my bed, it was too soon but now I was ready. I just hoped Amanda felt the same as I could feel myself getting aroused. Grabbing Amanda by the shoulders, I pulled her down onto me and passionately kissed her. She responded immediately, parting her lips, letting me plunge my hungry tongue into her moist sensual mouth. We continued, our passions rising, tongues licking and duelling, lips sucking and teething biting, I squirmed with delight as Amanda twisted her hips round and eased herself on top of me, pushing her weight onto my abdomen. She then lifted up onto her elbows and started undoing the buttons of my blouse, sliding her hand under my bra. I started trembling as she pushed my bra up, lowered her head and kissed my right breast, finding my erect nipple. I gasped as she sucked it into her warm mouth and suckled, teasing me with her tongue. Bringing her hand up, she started to fondle my left breast, running her forefinger round and round my raised areola then pinching my nipple while still suckling from the other breast. I was writhing with pleasure; my brain was being bombarded with messages of ecstasy from all my senses. I put my arms around Amanda' s back, then pushed my fingers under the waistband of her jeans and found the orbs of her pert bottom. Pulling her into my mons, I pushed up and we both ground into one another, moving in unison, moaning from the intense stimulation. All the while as we continue with this mutual indulgence of each others bodies, Amanda is talking to me, whispering sweet nothings; telling me she wants to kiss every inch of me, saying I'm beautiful and sexy, so perfect and how she was going to take care of me and look after me for ever. Nobody has ever said anything like this to me before, my heart swells with love, I know I would do absolutely anything for her and she for me.

Amanda then rolled over and slipped to the floor. Standing up in front of me with a glint in her eyes and a sexy pout, she slowly lifted her top and pulled it over her head, revealing the beautiful milky skin that covered her freckled shoulders and chest. Then unbuttoning her jeans she inched them bit by bit down her perfect legs, she was stunning. After stepping out of her discarded denims, with hands on hip she did a slow sexy twirl and stopped with her back to me. Bending forward to thrust her pert bottom out, she hooked her thumbs into her panties and pulled them lazily to the floor, revealing her gorgeous shapely ass cheeks. I lustily gaze on as she erotically uncliped her bra and turned to reveal her totally naked adorable body. She then reached for my hand; pulled me up, kissed deeply me and led me to the bedroom.

Once there she knelt down in front of me and unbuttoned my jeans, sliding down the zip she then pulls them down to my knees, revealing my now soaked panties. I am no stranger to masturbation and the familiar musky scent of my wet pussy now filled my nostrils. Amanda breathed in deeply and smiling up at me, she kissed my abdomen, burying her tongue into my naval; she slowly worked her way upwards; telling me to be still as she's going to take all my clothes off and ravage my body. Her erotic advances just kept turning me on more and more; standing up she pushed my open blouse off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor and then unclasped my bra, which followed the blouse. She then pulled me tight into her so our breasts were pressed together and started kissing my neck, my whole body was tingling. I licked the nape of her neck, tasting her smooth pale skin whilst my hands gently clawed at her back. All the while Amanda was talking, giving me such compliments and telling how just the touch of my skin sets her on fire, she made me feel like never before, so sexy. I was on fire as we both continued our passionate embrace.

Pushing me back onto the bed, Amanda now finished removing my jeans and as I lifted up my hips; slowly pulled down my panties. Sitting at the end of the bed, she lifted my foot kissing and sucking on my toes, hardly missing an inch she slowly worked her way up my calf to my knees, then my thighs, kissing and licking all the way. With her head now within my reach, I ran my fingers through her gorgeous curls as she moved up through my hips; tummy and then a spasm went through me as I felt her warm tongue on my nipple. I pulled her head into me, wanting more as she teased, gently biting and licking my breasts. Raising my knee, to bring my thigh up between her legs I felt her bush upon my skin; pushing up some more I could feel the heat and moistness of her sex as she pressed down, grinding onto me. The ecstasy I was experiencing just kept on building as Amanda then pushed up higher, bringing her lips to mine and pressing her hot pussy into my own.

As we carried on moving together, the intensity and rhythm of our two bodies increasing, becoming breathless with beads of sweat now appearing as the orgasm building within me got stronger and stronger. Sensing my rising climax, Amanda pressed her hips harder into me, opening her mouth to suck-in my lips and tongue, thrusting her own tongue inside, stabbing and sucking at my mouth, her fingers pinching my nipples hard. We writhed together, harder and harder as the crescendo of my orgasm hit me and I screamed as the rapture devoured my body and soul, more intense and longer than any I'd ever experienced, my legs on fire as the muscles in my vagina contracted with spasms, sending pulses of electric to all parts of my body.

I wanted to prolong that moment but Amanda too was building to a climax so with hardly a pause, I rolled over, intent on repaying my lover for the best orgasm of my life. I pressed my drenched pussy down onto Amanda's and continue thrusting my hips whilst fondling and sucking her breasts, pinching and biting her nipples, she starts swearing at me, telling me I'm a bad girl and not to stop. We roll from side to side, bucking our hips together, kissing and biting, sucking and clawing, grinding and rocking, she screams obscenities as she cums, her pussy gushes as her legs spasm and she digs her nails into my back with an orgasm no less intense than mine. We savour the moment, prolonging as much as we can, gently rocking back and forth, rolling over, arms and legs wrapped around one another, kissing and sucking tongues, laughing, shouting and crying with joy. We lay entwined, out of breath and bathing in the afterglow as we slowly came down, staring and smiling at each other, kissing and hugging.

After some time of just lying in each others arms, I heard a sound coming from somewhere and soon realise it was my mobile phone ringing. I jumped up and quickly ran to the kitchen (naked) where I'd left my phone in my bag and answered the call. I saw it was Phil's number so saying "hello Phil, how are you and Julia today?" as I walked back to the bedroom and climbed into bed next to Amanda. I listened to Phil's elated voice telling me that he and Julia were indeed seeing each other once again and that they'd had a great time and thanked me for be tactful. He went on to say that although he wasn't moving back in with her yet, he was hopeful of a full reconciliation as they'd been able to talk things over in the relaxed atmosphere of the dinner dance. He then went on to enquire how I was feeling, he'd called in at my flat to see if I was ok after last night but found no one at home. I thanked him for his concern and said I was fine and that I was out Christmas shopping (big lie!).

At this point, Amanda started to kiss my stomach and running her tongue round my naval, I started giggling, she then moved up to my head and started sucking my earlobe (my free ear) and then put her tongue inside and gently blew in my ear. I went into hysterics, screeching with laughter and trying to stop her by tickling her underarms. Poor Phil wondered what was going on, I eventually managed to speak through my hysterics and tried to put it off as something funny happening in the shopping mal. I apologised and said I had to go and would phone him later. Putting my phone down on the side, I turned round and jumped on Amanda, we both screeched with laughter as we tickled and pinched each other, rolling round the bed, nearly falling off the edge several times, we were just like a couple of teenagers. I was so happy, I couldn't get enough of her, just touching her, feeling the smooth texture and smell of her skin, her hair and her sweet breath, filled me with joy. I had never been happier and as I lay there, nestling into her side with her arm around me, I had to tell her how I felt, so I turned my head round to face hers and said "I truly love you Amanda," She looked at me with a serious expression on her face, and then beaming her big smile at me said, "I know Rachelle, I love you too, till the end of time I will love you". We kissed and held each other, cuddling and kissing not in sexual way but just expressing our true love, enclosed in our own little bubble.

The light outside had now faded, as afternoon became evening. Amanda kissed my forehead, got out of bed and headed for the bathroom to pee. After relieving herself, she stepped into the shower, calling out that I should join her. We showered together, lathering and scrubbing each other's backs and shoulders, we washed our hair, rinsed off and towelled each other dry. I got dressed and Amanda slipped into a robe and went into the bedroom to do her hair, I just put my hair up wrapped in a towel and went into the kitchen to start on dinner. We'd bought some pasta and tuna earlier so it wasn't going take too long to prepare, I busied myself with that, opened a bottle of wine and carried on.

Before long Amanda appeared in the doorway but I had my back to her, she spoke my name and I turned round and just stood gazing at her. She was breathtaking, her hair was immaculate, she'd put on some makeup and was wearing tight fitting deep blue leggings that accentuated her shapely figure, with a white and blue floral low cut top. My heart skipped a beat; she really was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I felt plain and scruffy in her presence, in my old jeans and top, my hair just scrunched up inside a towel. "Oh Amanda" I said, "you look stunning" She just smiled and replied, "only the best for my beautiful girlfriend". I didn't know what to say, so I just went over to her, put my arms around her and gave her a big hug, she'd made me feel so special.

After dinner we went back into the lounge, Amanda wanted to see a TV programme that she was following. I sat in the corner of the settee while Amanda stretched out, with her head resting on my lap. During the TV programme a problem had been forming in my mind that began to trouble me.

Not wishing to sound too naïve; I have already touched on the fact that I had a religious upbringing. My parents were regular churchgoers and my childhood was dominated by my parents' faith; both my social life and education was based around the church. I attended a girls' convent school up to the age of 14, after which I changed to a normal mixed sex high school. My three years at uni gave me my first experience of independence and was an eye opener and educational in many ways. Being slightly shy and having had a fairly sheltered upbringing, I found that my early years had given me inhibitions that took some effort to overcome.

My first sexual experience came later than most of the girls that I was at university with. I was 19 and in my second year; I'd been seeing a guy for a few months, it was not a serious relationship but he kept hinting that we should have sex. He said it was something that everybody did but I wasn't so sure, I'd always thought sex was an expression of love between two people, so kept putting him off. He eventually lost patience and finished with me, which I took badly. Confusing the hurt I felt from his rejection as love; a few weeks later when I bumped into him at a party, I gave him what he wanted. His presence at the party made me emotional and after a few too many drinks, I started flirting and dancing with him. To my great regret; I ended up going back to his place and having sex with him. It was a painful, foolish and a disappointing mistake, I lost my virginity to someone, whom from that point on, I despised.

After that, I lost interest in romance and concentrated on my uni work. I did socialise with the girls I shared rooms with and even struck up good friendships with some of the guys I'd met. I did go out with a couple of them but I didn't get too emotionally involved and certainly not intimate.

After I graduated I got a job working for a pharmaceutical company who had offices in the city near where I lived. It was about an hours drive each way, so after a few months of commuting, I rented a flat in the city. To start off with, I shared with someone I met through work; she was good company and together with some of the other people we worked with, I had a good and varied social life. I started seeing a guy I met in a nightclub one night; Alex was very sweet and good looking, after dancing together a few times, during a slow dance he asked me for my number and a few days later he called. We got on really well, he was very thoughtful, generous and funny, he had lots of drive and had a good job; we had some great times together. 




My Awakening



Contrary to my previous experience, it was me that suggested sex the first time. He was very patient with me and never pushed for sex, although we had some very passionate times when we were alone. We would French kiss and I'd let him fondle my breasts but I never let him touch my pussy, it was just one of the hang-ups that resulted from what I was taught at convent school. I felt ashamed at getting aroused and embarrassed when I got wet.

One night after an evening out, we'd been seeing each other for about six months by then; we got back to my flat to find a note from Sarah with whom I shared; saying she had gone home to her parents for the weekend. We settled down, taking advantage of being alone, kissing and touching one another and I started to get particularly aroused. I was getting very fond of Alex and I suppose I just wanted to show him how I felt, I pulled back from him, looked him in the eyes and asked if he wanted to spend the night. He smiled, then kissed me and said, "if you're sure", I nodded, stood up and led him to my bedroom. The sex was good, not the best but loads better than my first time, I was very inexperienced and we both had to learn about each other but it was very satisfying. We continued our relationship, having regular sex, which did very much improve despite my reluctance for full intimacy. I rarely climaxed but I didn't mind, I enjoyed the close contact and liked to see Alex getting satisfaction from it.

Occasionally during our lovemaking I gave him oral sex, he liked me "giving him head" but I never let him go down on me, I could never let him touch or see that most private, intimate place.

Despite my inhibitions, our relationship grew, and after a while I moved in with Alex and we became a couple. We had lots of good times and Alex helped me through some bad times; particularly when my parents died. We continued without any real problems, "Alex and Rachelle" seemed a phrase people became used to saying. After we'd been living together for a couple of years, I started to hear comments from people, asking "isn't it about time you two got engaged and set a date?" At 24, I was not ready for that kind of commitment; I loved my job and wanted to pursue my career in my own way and in my own time. Alex did hint that maybe we should think about getting engaged but this only had the opposite effect on me; I started spending more and more time at work, evenings and weekends. I volunteered to do business trips when the need arose, allowing me to spend a whole weeks or sometimes longer away. When I was at home with Alex, I would bring work back from the office to keep me busy. When it was suggested we go out for the evening or have a weekend away, I had excuses lined up to keep me from going.

I carried on like this for sometime until a few weeks away from my 25th birthday, I realised I couldn't go on anymore; I'd had a feeling for some time that my family (two older sisters and a brother, all married with children) had some idea that my birthday would be a good time to get engaged and this made me very uneasy. I was back in my office after being away for a couple of days, catching up and going through all my emails. I opened a reply from an overseas colleague that I'd sent a report to a few days before, detailing final figures for a proposed new project that I'd been working on for several weeks. The reply was informing me that due to budgetary restrictions the company had decided to postpone the work for the time being. Normally I would have been disappointed but not too perturbed by this and just moved on to the next job but with the underlying emotions from my personal problems; this had a dramatic effect on me. I was totally deflated, crushed by what I saw as personal rejection. I put my head in my hands and started crying, I couldn't stop myself, all the emotions from the past twelve months came flooding out. I sobbed and sobbed, work colleagues came over to help but I was not to be consoled. My boss Phil said he would take me home but this only made me worse, so he said he'd call his wife Julia and she would take back to their house.

Thirty minutes later I was in the car with Julia, still crying but had calmed down a bit and by the time we arrived at their home, I'd stopped. Once inside, Julia made me a cup of tea and sat me down and was urging me to talk. It took a few minutes before I could open up but once I started I couldn't stop, it all came flooding out. I told her I felt trapped, I thought a lot of Alex and didn't want to hurt him but I was no longer in love with him and didn't want to live with him anymore. I felt so guilty feeling this way, everybody looked upon us as the ideal couple but I couldn't go on this way. During my outpourings I cried some more, Julia consoled me and slowly I started to feel better. With Julia's help we devised a plan of what I should do next and how best to break the news to Alex, this included taking some time off work and asking my sister if I could stay with her for a while.

So that just about describes who and what I am and goes some way to explain my hang-ups, the relevance of which will now come to light.

Back to where I left off; watching TV in Amanda's lounge, my dilemma was; apart from what we had done earlier together, which seemed to come naturally, my knowledge of girl on girl sex was very limited but I did assume it involved a lot of very personal contact with each other's pussies, a place I have never let anyone touch before, how would I react? Even going to the Doctors (I always made sure it was a female doctor) for my regular smear tests gave me panic attacks. I had full confidence and trust in Amanda but even with her, could I go that far? Should I come straight out and tell her of my phobia, or should I just go along with what she wanted and see how far I could go?

As it turned out, the decision was taken for me; Amanda must've picked up on my uneasiness and forced the issue. Sitting up after the TV programme had finished, she took my hand and looked at me with those deep piercing green eyes and said; "Darling, there's something troubling you, you must tell me, don't keep it to yourself, we should tell each other everything" The kindly expression on her face and her gorgeous smile was nearly enough to weaken my resolve but I still couldn't summon up the courage to tell her. I dropped my eyes to the floor and said "oh it's nothing, don't worry, just me being silly" but she was persistent and very persuasive, so eventually I relented and came out with it; I told her how I felt, that I'd always been embarrassed about my unsightly pussy and had never let anyone see me down there, let alone touch it.

I couldn't believe what happened next; Amanda got up and standing in front of me she pulled down her leggings, quickly followed by her panties, then she looked at me and smiled and said "look, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, I'm no different to you" then with hands either side she pulled her pussy lips apart with her fingers, revealing the whole of her vulva, the soft pink tissue of her inner labia from her clit down to her moist vagina. I gazed in wonder, I'd never seen another girls pussy this close before, only in showers or changing rooms where all you can see is pubic hair. She then, pulled me up and kissed me, then kicking off the leggings and panties from around her ankles, she said "come on, to prove we're just the same, we'll both shave our pussy's". I took in a deep breath at the shock but before I could react, she was pulling me towards the bathroom and saying " come on, it'll be fun, I've always wanted a full Hollywood".

In the bathroom she turned on the taps of the bathtub while squeezing in bath oil, she then rummaged through a cupboard and produced a razor, some shaving gel and a pair of scissors. After removing the rest of her clothes, she sat on the edge of the bath and opened her legs to reveal a neatly trimmed auburn bush. Picking up the scissors, she started snipping away, removing as much hair as she could with scissors, while I gazed on open mouthed. When satisfied with her trimming, she looked up at me and grinned, then jumped into the bathtub, spreading her legs she smoothed the gel over herself and started working with a razor. When she was completely smooth she stood up, I passed her a towel and looked for some balm to sooth her now silky pussy. She looked at me as I studied her, I knelt down to look more closely, I was enchanted by her fully exposed pussy. I was taken aback, I had always thought my pussy was obscene and deformed but it wasn't that much different Amanda's. Her lips, were long, maybe more fleshy than mine and protruded slightly past her outer labia. She looked even more sexy like this, so delicate, so touchable, so kissable, I just looked up at her and smiled, I couldn't refuse her now.

I stood up, unbuttoned my jeans and removed all my clothes. I didn't have to say anything; Amanda knew I wanted her to do everything for me, I didn't look at what she was doing; I sat the edge of the bath and just looked at her face, moving my legs when she asked, trying not to make a sound while she trimmed the hair of my most private place. I laid in the bath with my eyes closed while she shaved me and stayed for a while after she had finished, still with my eyes closed, letting the warm water cleanse me. Amanda caressed my face with her fingers; she knew what I had just let her do to me had taken a lot of effort and trust.

Getting out of the bath, Amanda dried me, then gently rubbed in the balm as I gazed down at her. Wrapping me in a towel, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "You have nothing to be embarrassed about, I love your pussy, it's so very sexy and beautiful; like an orchid, I love everything about you". She hugged me tight, gave me a long lingering kiss and then led me into the bedroom and sat me on the bed.

Pulling on a bathrobe, Amanda went out of the bedroom and came back a short time later with two glasses of brandy. Handing both glasses to me, she took away the towel that was covering me and replaced it with a silk kimono. We both sat on the edge of the bed, lost in thought, sipping at the brandy. Amanda put her arm round me, I guess she was just letting me sort myself out, I cuddled into her, enjoying her touch and thinking of what she had told me in the bathroom.

I suddenly had an impulse to look at my pussy; I opened my legs, pulled the kimono apart and bent my head down. It was a bit sore; I could see raised red bumps where the hair follicles had been pulled. I ran my fingers over my mons, feeling the smoothness, I must admit; it did feel sexy and with this thought in my head, a pang of excitement ran through me and made me smile. Running my fingers down my slit, I pushed my lips apart; looking closely at my vulva I said to Amanda; "did you mean what you said about my pussy?" She looked at me, then dropped her eyes down to where I was touching myself and said; "you really are so very beautiful Rachelle and sexy, I'm getting hot just watching you touch yourself like that" Then looking up with a grin on her face she said; "Stop it, before I get carried away". I don't quite know what made me do it but I just started laughing, I couldn't help it, I suppose it was just a reaction to the emotions I'd had all these years of feeling repulsive, now this wonderful woman was saying I was beautiful and sexy! I threw my arm around her and pushed her flat on her back, we both laughed and laughed as we romped around the bed, screaming, tickling and pinching each other. It was so nice to be completely open with someone, without fear of recriminations, embarrassment or shame, to be the real me.

Of course, as with most new lovers, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. The slightest touch of flesh on flesh was enough to heighten arousal for us both, so it wasn't long before our light-hearted romp on the bed became a passionate embrace. Kissing and tongues twisting together, hands wandering over each other's bodies, progressing to fondling of breasts and sucking of nipples.

Slipping out of our robes, I found myself wanting to kiss and explore Amanda's gorgeous body lower and lower. Moving my hand from her breast, slipping it down over her abdomen, I soon found her smooth vulva under my fingers. While still kissing, I pushed my forefinger down her slit, feeling the moist softness of her inner lips as they parted. Bringing my finger back up I found the nub of her hard clitoris emerging from under her hood, Amanda gasped as my finger brushed back and forth over her clit. Using two fingers now I lightly caressed her pussy, pressing and moving in circular motions over and over as she moaned with pleasure. Moving my head down and spitting saliva onto my fingers for lubrication, I continued to move my fingers over Amanda's clit, watching in wonder as the pink tissue of her vulva became more and more red as blood engorged her pussy and her clit became more pronounced and hard.

My body now fully aroused and mind focused on her clit, I just had to taste her and feel that softness with my tongue. Moving down the bed, I placed my head between Amanda's legs, kissing and licking her inner thighs as I slowly moved up towards her beautiful pussy. Amanda swore at me as I slid my tongue up the length of her slit and flicked her clit with the tip of my tongue; the taste and smell were exhilarating, I couldn't get enough as I licked and sucked her pussy lips into my mouth. Putting my lips over her clit I sucked it into my mouth, running my tongue over and over her sweet nub. Amanda was shouting and swearing, calling me a dirty bitch and panting, I could feel her orgasm building, I looked up to see her fondling her own breasts, pinching her nipples. She wrapped her legs around my shoulders, squeezing me and pulling me into her, I delved my tongue into her vagina, stabbing in and out, tasting her creamy wetness and feeling her getting hotter and hotter. I held on to her hips as she writhed around in ecstasy, bucking as the orgasm hit her. I could feel her vaginal muscles spasm, pushing and pulling at my tongue as she screamed and swore, clawing at my hair. Whimpering and breathing hard, she rocked from side to side, her legs squeezing my head as her muscles jerked. I carried on licking hard, up and down her pussy, sucking her clit until it became too sensitive, then pushing my tongue into her hole, drinking in her cum with it's intoxicating taste. My face was now lathered and wet with her cum, I loved it, such a wonderful feeling, giving my lover pleasure like this.

Amanda then put her hands down to me a pulled me up, smothering me with kisses, licking my face, tasting her own pussy juice and sucking my tongue, as we rocked back and forth, thrusting our pussies together. Amanda was still riding her orgasm or building onto the next so I press down into her, she is cooing into my ear, whispering sweet nothings to me, saying she's never cum like this before and how incredibly sexy I am and how she's going to make me cum and taste my sweet pussy. Still intent on giving my beautiful and wonderful lover as much satisfaction as possible and holding back my own rising pleasures, I slip down Amanda's body once more.

Kissing as I go, I ran my forefinger down her wet slippery slit and into her hot hole, pushing in and out then letting two fingers enter her whilst using my thumb to stroke her clit. Curling my fingers up as I push in and out, I try to feel for the furrowed rough flesh that indicates the G-spot. After a short time my attempts are rewarded as I feel the spongy tissue on my fingertips and I press upwards whilst pushing down with my thumb and Amanda squirms with pleasure. I smile as she arches her back, her hands gripping the bedstead and pushes herself into my fingers; I quicken the pace to keep her rising orgasm coming. Amanda is licking her lips, moaning and shouting, moving her hand to her right breast and pinching her nipple, I notice how raised her areola are. Without breaking the rhythm, I move my head up to her left breast, running the tip of my tongue around her pronounced areola before suckling on her nipple. I could feel Amanda's orgasm about to climax so I returned to her pussy, sucking on her hard clit, my fingers still pressing upwards as I frantically masturbated her sopping pussy. With my left hand, I caress her sphincter, lightly pressing round and round, Amanda then shouts " I'm gonna pee, I'm gonna pee". Trying to brace myself steady with my elbows against her the climax hit her. She bucked and writhed as she came, screaming and swearing as her hot cum squirted into my face, her body jerking uncontrollably, with contractions in her pussy pulsing, sending waves of pleasure throughout her body.

I moved up her body, wrapping my legs around her and pushing my pussy into her again. We kissed and licked at each other as our bodied moved together, prolonging the orgasm, Amanda bathed in her ecstasy, she was wringing wet with sweat and I was wet with her cum. Rolling over and over, rocking to and fro, kissing and fondling, stretching the orgasm as long as possible, then slowly coming down, just staring and smiling at each other, moving together. I was floating on air, so absolutely thrilled that I'd been able to give my lover such rapturous orgasms.

We lay wrapped around each other, it turned me on so much to think I could do this to her, moving my legs and body, sitting up slightly so that our pussies were pressed together, I pushed into her. Tribbing together like this was absolute bliss; I was so highly aroused, staring at her stunning body, watching the rise and fall of her breathing, the swaying of her breasts and the movement of her stomach muscles as we moved backwards and forwards, holding each others arms. It wasn't long before I could feel an orgasm rising in me, becoming more familiar with each other's bodies, picking up on little nuances, learning how to please each other, I could see that Amanda too was building up as we moved together. Amanda's third orgasm hit just as my first came, we both gasped as the pure pleasure enveloped us, our bodies in unison, moving automatically as our souls seemed to merge in rapturous harmony. All I could see were her eyes as wave after wave of unparalleled passion flooded my whole being. I don't know has long it lasted, it seemed to last forever, I just found myself wrapped around Amanda and her around me with my skin soaked with sweat and my eyes glued to hers as we slowly came down. We stayed like that for; again an unknown time, lost in each other eyes, occasionally kissing. Eventually Amanda pulled the covers over us as we drifted off to sleep, totally sated and contented.



My Awakening



My name is Hailey. Looking in the mirror, I try to assess myself unbiased. I have mousy brown hair that falls just past my shoulder blades. I never can get it to do anything other than fall in front of my face despite all my effort to brush it back and out of the way. I have pale skin. I suppose I should get outside more, but I like the indoors too much besides its winter in Spokane, WA with snow on the ground. I just got new glasses, one of the "new me" purchases after I got my braces off this past summer. They do seem to bring out my blue eyes—just like the cute optometrist said. The freckles that were so prominent on and around my nose seem to get fainter the older I get. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. I have never really liked my body. I tend to wear clothes a size or two larger to hide in. Opening my eyes, I look at my body in the mirror. I am 5'5" and have no body shape, unless you think "skin and bones" is a body type. Shaking my head, I remind myself unbiased opinion. I look again. I am 32-23-33, I suppose you'd call it waifish. Before you ask, no, I don't have an eating disorder, I just don't gain weight. I try on a smile. My smile slowly fades. All that money to straighten my teeth and all I have to show for it is a lackluster smile. I turn to the side and look at my body in profile. I have small breasts, bigger than an A but not quite a B. (My sister would try to cheer me up by saying, "At least their bigger than Keira Knightley's." This coming from her and her perfect C cups, but we'll get to my sister soon enough.) I turn slightly to assess my ass. I do have to, grudgingly admit I have a somewhat cute, tight heart-shaped ass. Overall, average. I am not going to be turning heads.

My sister, on the other hand, made boys and some girls get whiplash when she strolled down the high school corridors. She is a knockout with her hour-glass figure. She had guys lining up to ask her out. She never had a boyfriend, but she always had dates. "Why settle for just one boy," she'd say, "that you probably won't see after high school anyway, except reunions." He golden tresses were kept shoulder length and had a bounce to them when she walked. She was about 5'7" and 34-24-36 and, like I said earlier, perfect C cups. She had tone in her arms, legs and abs from cheerleading, but without losing her girlish softness. The only thing we seemed to share genetically were our blue eyes. Where she was outgoing, I kept to myself. I had the brains, she had the looks and the social life that went with it.

When I was 16, she moved to California for school. She could have gone to University of Washington or, as I had hoped, Washington State. She, however, opted to go somewhere it was sunny and warm. Her choices were Arizona State (She once confided in me, "I'd love to be a little sun Devil." She had to explain that their mascot was the Sun Devil.), USC, UCLA or San Diego State. She ended up getting a partial scholarship to USC so in the end wound up there. She made a point to call me at least once a week and never forgot my birthday, even if she didn't come up for it, but it wasn't the same. Sure we had different social circles and on weekends she was rarely home, but Sunday nights were my favorite. We would be in the basement where our dad had built an entertainment room. We would watch some movie, eat a big bowl of popcorn and talk. It was our time and our parents left us alone during it.

My birthday falls in late September and a few days before this last one, my 18th, I got a text from my sister. She told me she sent a package to me and should be there soon. The next text really got my attention. She told me there were two gifts in the package and under NO circumstance should I let our parents see the larger one. I began wondering immediately what was it she got me. Looking back I should have realized, but then I had no idea. How naïve I was only a few months ago. Considering both of my parents worked and I got home earlier than they did, intercepting a package was pretty simple. After class the next day, it was sitting on the porch behind the bushes. I picked it up and carried it into the house. I put it on the kitchen counter and opened it up. Their was a sticky note affixed to the larger gift reiterating what Kaitlin's text said. So I took it out of the package to carry it to my room, when I heard a dull thump on the ground. I bent down to see what had fallen—batteries. Alot of batteries. In fact a 36-pack of AA batteries. Why would I ever need 36 AA batteries?

After putting the batteries on the counter, I carried my gift to my room and put it on the bed. I took out my phone and sent a text to my sister.

&lt Hey. Package came. &gt

Almost immediately, Kaitlin texted back.

&lt Did you hide the gift? &gt

&lt Not yet. Just got to my room. &gt

&lt OK. Hurry. &gt

&lt Why so important? &gt

&lt You'll see. Not before your birthday!!! Text me back then. &gt

&lt One other thing. &gt

&lt Yeah? &gt

&lt What's with the batteries? &gt

&lt Shit. Forgot about those. Thought you may need them. &gt

&lt 36? For what? &gt

&lt NVM. Just get them too. &gt

&lt OK. &gt

&lt Don't forget. Txt me when you open this gift. &lt3 &gt

&lt &lt3 U2 &gt

After my texting with my sister I hid my gift in my closet, went downstairs to retrieve the batteries and toss the package in the trash can. I left the smaller "safe for parents" package on the counter. With batteries in hand, I was about to hide them too. Then I thought, why hide batteries? So I put them on my desk next to my monitor.

Two days later, was my birthday. I am not usually a morning person, except for a few days. One, Christmas morning. And two, my birthday. There is a third, but I didn't yet know that. On my birthday, my dad fixes a big breakfast. It doesn't matter what day of the week it is, this particular birthday fell on a Thursday, but I knew that breakfast was being fixed. The smell was wafting through the house. I was just lying there enjoying the smells, when BZZPT BZZPT went my phone. I rolled over to see what text I had.

&lt Get out of bed, sleepyhead. Open the gift. &gt

&lt Aww. Can't I stay in bed a little longer? &gt

It was my birthday after all. Shouldn't I do what I wanted? Except I did have to go to school.

&lt Hurry up. &gt

I stretched and rubbed my eyes. I was going to open her gift but I was going to at my pace not hers. I brought my gift to the bed and sat down Indian style with the package in my lap. I eagerly opened it up. I'd been dying to find out what the fuss was all about. Once I got it open, I looked at it curiously.

BZZPT BZZPT

I ignored the phone as I was reading the package.

BZZPT BZZPT

OH MY GOD! My sister got me a pink Rabbit vibrator. What in the hell was a Rabbit vibrator. It looked menacing with this weird side appendage. Then it clicked. The batteries! MY SISTER EXPECTS ME TO USE THIS THING! OH MY GOD! AND TO USE IT ENOUGH TO WARRANT 36-AA BATTERIES!

BZZPT BZZPT

I finally left my haze to check my phone.

&lt Did you open it? &gt

&lt Well? &gt

&lt Hailey? &gt

What the hell do I say? Thanks? Why would my sister get me a sex toy? She is the only one who knows fully about my sex life or rather the lack thereof.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

My freshman and sophomore years were uneventful. My sister was my protector. Being the Queen Bee, I was strictly to be left alone from any torment. While that didn't extend to me getting in with the popular kids, it did let me just go through my day relatively unnoticed. I made friends of my own. Not really friends, but rather kindred spirits that didn't fit in with high school hierarchy. While the cool kids went to parties and dances and football games (I did go to the games only because my sister insisted I do something school related and she was a cheerleader.), we were in a basement playing board games and at times pen-and-paper games. You know, like Dungeons and Dragons. It was fun pretending to be something other than yourself. I really got into cyberpunk games. It felt like our world but not.

Then junior year happened. With my protector fleeing to California, I was left alone. No not alone like before; alone as in had no one looking after me. My classmates figured I was fair game for not getting the freshman hazings they endured. So I got it. And not just from my class, but all classes. Hell even some freshmen started teasing me. I walked with a quicker pace, head buried a little lower. Then one day, I thought I saw a ray of sunshine break through from the gloom this past year had been. A boy asked me out to prom. This is the first year I could go to prom. Only juniors and seniors can go, unless a junior or senior asks a lower-classman to prom, which my sister went to all four proms she was in school for.

I was ecstatic. That weekend my mom and I went shopping and got the perfect dress and shoes to go with it. It actually made me look, dare I admit it?, attractive. At least I thought so, despite my insecurities and my braces. The night of prom I get a phone call. It's the boy.

Coughcough. "Hailey?" Cough. "I'm sorry but I came down with something." Coughcough. (I hear what sounds like snickers in the background.) "I was really hoping it would pass, but it hasn't." Cough. (I am slowly losing the fight to curl up and bawl my eyes out.) "I'm really sorry I can't take you to prom." Coughcough. (There is no mistake now I definitely hear laughter. This was all done just to pick on me even more.)

I mumble something like, "Hope you get better." (The laughter was even louder. I must be on speaker phone.) I hang up. Dejectedly, I strip out of my prom wear and back into my pajamas. When I get to the living room, I sit down on the couch next to my dad.

"Isn't prom tonight, princess?" (He always calls me that when he thinks I need a pick me up. Tonight he's right, I do.) I just nod. "Not going?" I shake my head, but say nothing in fear I will finally break down in tears. "What about your date?" He puts his arm around my shoulder. I put my head on his chest and he wraps his arm around me.

I sit like that for a little while hoping my urge to cry abates. "He's sick." Is all I manage to say. I don't have the heart to tell my parents that no boy wants to date their lesser daughter. We sit like that for a while watching some sports thing on ESPN. Finally, I kiss my dad on the cheek and let him know I'm going to my room.

BZZPT BZZPT

&lt How's my fave sis? I wanna see you all glammed up. Send me pic. &gt

Great someone else to talk to. At least it's texts.

&lt Not going. &gt

&lt WHAT! Why not? &gt

&lt He's sick. &gt

&lt Really? &gt

I have never been able to lie to my sister even from a distance even through text messages.

&lt No. &gt

There were no texts for a while, which is odd. My sister can manage multiple text messages without the other side noticing a change in the speed in which she responds. Yet, now nothing.

My ring tone goes off. Kaitlin is calling me.

"Hey." I really didn't want to talk.

"You okay?" she asks.

I shrug my shoulders like she can see me, but I don't respond. There's a silence.

"You know he's not sick?"

"There was laughter in the background."

"Oh." She gets it. She may never have experienced it, but she gets it. She knows I want to cry. She knows I don't want to talk. So we sit there on the phone neither of us talking. I never felt closer to my sister than right then. After a minute or two, she says, "You're going to be okay."

"Yeah."

"No, sweetie. I am not asking you. I am telling you. You WILL be okay." I sniffed derisively at this statement. "There will be someone who will see you as beautiful and show you how special you really are. And they will treat you like I know you deserve to be."

There was more silence. Maybe she didn't know what else to say. She'd never been in this situation. She didn't know how to cope and thus not know how to bring someone out of this funk. Or maybe she wanted it to sink in. So the last thing she said was going over my mind on repeat.

Finally, she broke the silence, "Sweetie, I have to get going. But call me if you ever need to talk. Or not. I love you."

Sniffling, "I love you too." Then, we hung up.

I still have that dress and shoes—a constant reminder of the misery of high school. (I had tried to return the items I had never really gotten to wear the following morning, but the sales associate pointed to a sign that read "No Returns on Prom Dresses." Apparently, girls had been returning prom dresses the day after prom so they weren't stuck with dresses they would wear once. And now I was stuck with a dress I never got to wear.) I decided after that night I was going to emulate my sister and leave the state when I graduate. I was looking at Brown, Stanford and UC-Berkley. Prestigious colleges that my tormentors had no chance to get into academically.

–-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Now here I was. In my bed on my 18th birthday, a vibrator in hand given to me by my sister. I am sexually inexperienced. I had the sex talk with my parents at 11. They figured they would just give the sex talk once. So when Kaitlin turned 13 and started to develop, I got the talk too. They must have thought since I was so book smart that I would just absorb what they said and understand and use it when I was older and going through my changes. And I did. I just never got to utilize my knowledge. With my mother being religious, (she wasn't overly religious, but there were a few things that would grate on her like swearing, drinking and sex) I hadn't even masturbated. I didn't have any real girl friends to confide in. I couldn't really ask my sister, could I? And God forbid I go to my mom for guidance on self-pleasure.

BZZPT BZZPT

&lt Hailey? Srsly! Answer me. Is everything ok? &gt

Sighing I finally picked up the phone.

&lt WTH A vibrator?!? &gt

&lt Yeah. So? Do you like it? &gt

&lt OMG &gt

&lt That good? Or bad? &gt

&lt Mom would kill me if she found it! &gt

&lt That's why I said to hide it. &gt

&lt Ugh. &gt

&lt It's not that bad. Just keep it. And keep it hidden. &gt

&lt Why? &gt

&lt Mom would kill you and disown me. &gt

&lt Not what I meant. &gt

&lt I know. Thought you needed...to relieve from stress. &gt

&lt Gross. &gt

&lt LOL &lt3 &gt

&lt &lt3 U2. &gt

&lt Happy bday, sweetie. &gt

Knock knock knock. "Princess breakfast is ready!"

&lt Thnx &gt

"Be right there, dad." I said loud enough to be heard through my closed door. Getting up off the bed, I started looking for a place to stash my new sex toy. It ended up being a drawer for my underwear. I tend to do the laundry for the house, except for my parents' underwear, so my parents don't have reason to go through my drawers. Really, I could put the vibrator anywhere that was out of sight and in my room. As far as my parents were concerned, I never did anything to warrant them coming into my room without permission. Luckily I hadn't taken the vibrator out of the box, so it was just the wrapping paper I had to discard. I decided for the time to just toss it in my desk side trashcan.

Getting downstairs, I was greeted by my mom and dad and a birthday hug from mom. My dad tried to give me my birthday spankings.

"Charles, she's an adult now. Can't you let it go, finally?"

"She's still and always will be, my baby girl." What would he say if he found out his baby girl had an adult sex toy in her room? "But fine. Happy birthday, Hailey."

"Thanks," I said, sitting down at my customary spot at the breakfast table. "What's for breakfast?"

I was answered by two plates placed in front of me. On one was hashbrown casserole (shredded hashbrowns with cheese and some herbs and onions) topped with two fried eggs over easy (because I love having the yolk just ooze out when I cut into them). On the other were two biscuits covered in sausage gravy, sausage links and bacon. I also had a tall glass of orange juice. My dad loves breakfast and when he cooks he doesn't cook for our size family. He cooks for an army.

I cleaned my plates and still had a few more strips of bacon and a couple more links, like I said I don't have an eating disorder. My mom shaking her head in disbelief of how much I ate asked, "so did you want to open your sister's gift before school?"

I nearly spewed my orange juice all over her. How did she know about the present? I was sure I hid the traces of its discovery. I slowly recovered when I stammered, "What?"

"Your sister's present," she reiterated. "It's been sitting on the counter for two days now." She pointed at the small package I had somehow completely forgot about. "I know we don't usually let you open your presents until after dinner, but I'm sure your sister would love to hear how much you liked her gift. She might not be able to take a phone call with her job working nights for you to thank her."

My curiosity was again peaked. My sister really had given me two gifts. I wondered now which was my real gift. Was the vibrator just some kind of joke? Or was that the real gift and this one was given just so out parents' didn't suspect anything?

Dad had gotten up and retrieved the present while I was thinking through everything. Sometimes I wonder, do I over-analyze everything? I accepted the gift out of my dad's proffered hand and began to unwrap it. It was a felt-like jewelry box. I was taken aback. Everyone who knows me knows I am not fond of jewelry and the person I thought knew me the best got me jewelry? I now knew which gift was the fake one. Silently, I groaned. 

At least I thought it was silent until my mom said, "Just open it. I'm sure you'll like it."

So I opened the box, and sure enough it was jewelry. It was a gold and silver chain that twisted around each other with a push-release clasp. It also had a heat with a key hole in it in the middle of the chain. I picked it up to study it a bit closer, when a small piece of paper fell on the table.

Mom handed me the note. It read, "My dear sister, happy 18th birthday! I just want to say I know you don't like jewelry, but I saw this at the store and just wanted you to have it. The look is so simple and elegant it just made me think of you. I am not sure what the heart means, but I like to think it means to hold on to your love and only open it for the right person. I know one day that person will come and whoever that person is will cherish your love. Love, always and forever, Kaitlin." A small tear ran down my cheek when I read this. "P.S. Its an anklet so you can hide it pretty easily in your baggy pant leg."

Concerned, my mom asked, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's great." I went to get up to get ready for school, but stopped and turned to my mom. "Mom, could you put this on my ankle, please?"

"Sure." I handed her my new anklet and put my left foot on my vacant chair as she adorned my ankle. She looked up at me and smiled once it was on. "This really is a nice gift. Be sure to thank your sister."

"I will mom." I dazedly walked to my room. The anklet would have been something mom gave me. She was always a big proponent of True Love Waits, for those that don't know of it abstaining from sex until marriage. But vibrator, the anklet and a heartfelt note from my sister? The note was definitely from my sister. Always telling me how beautiful I was, telling me there was someone out there that would love me. But the three items together was a mystery to me. A way to pleasure myself in an attempt to open my sexuality, but an admonishment against giving my love away. It all seemed contradictory.

That was a little over three months ago. Now my sister is home for Winter Break. After dinner, I really wanted to run into her room and talk to her, but she had to deal with a bunch of holiday travelers and tourists so had opted to head to bed. Which was fine, it was Friday night and I had an English paper that was due before my Winter Break started. I decided I could get my paper done tonight and I could have all weekend to talk to my sister.




My Awakening



I sat down at my computer and opened up my word processor. I was going at a steady pace and was about halfway done when my computer screen turned blue. I looked at the screen without comprehension. It finally clicked—BSOD. I just got a blue screen of death. It also meant all that work on my paper was gone.

"DAMMIT!" I wailed. That's the harshest expletive I use. Sitting back in my chair, I try to think thing through rationally. I have a spare computer, but parts have been pilfered from it so it's not working. While being outdated, my parents' computer would at least get me through the task at hand. That would mean leaving my room, though. I still have to figure out what was wrong with my computer, though.

I got the notepad I leave on my desk and started writing what was on the screen so I could research it on a working computer. That's when I heard a small yawn and groan. I swiveled around to see my sister stretching and rubbing at her eyes.

"Oh, you're up," I say.

With a pointed look she responded, "That's what happens when a certain sibling yells right across the hall from me."

Sheepishly, "Oh. Sorry."

Smiling, "It's okay. I probably needed to get up anyway. So what's the problem? Big hairy spider on your leg?" She knows I hate spiders. Just the mere mention of them gives me shivers.

Sarcastically I reply, "Yeah because every time I see a spider I yell 'dammit'."

"That's true. It's more like a high-pitched squeal. Plus you'd be standing on your desk to get away," she says it with mirth in her voice. "So what is it then?" 

Pointing at my screen, I tell her my computer crashed. She knows how much I love my computer. I built this one for my 15th birthday. I had put all the parts in a wish list on newegg and sent it to my parents. They bought everything. My dad had stood over me at the kitchen counter watching me work. I had asked him at the time if he had learned anything. He smiled and nodded and said, "Yep. Next time I need computer help, I'm coming to you." It was my first computer I built and I don't have the time to get it fixed.

"You could borrow my laptop."

I snapped my head around, "Really?"

"Sure. Just come get it." Kaitlin turned and walked out of my room. I got up and followed her. "Just bring it back when you're done." She handed me the laptop. I put it under my arm and went to my room. I heard her door click as she closed it.

Once I got into my room, I pushed the door to and put the laptop on my bed. I scanned my desk. It wasn't messy, but there wasn't a lot of space either with dual monitors, keyboard, mouse and desktop incidentals on it. Scanning my room, I suddenly had a gleeful thought. I could type in bed. I plopped down on my belly and opened up the laptop. Turning it on, I noticed it had a full charge.

Now you need to know something crucial about me. When I get my hands on a strange computer, meaning not my computer, my curiosity piques. First things first. I set about looking at her laptop's settings. I don't know why she felt she needed as much computing prowess as this had. So I went searching private areas like her Documents folder; nothing there. Her Pictured folder; nothing there. Even her Video folder was empty. I was about to open her Explorer folder to dig further into her laptop, when I saw an open program on her taskbar. So I clicked it open.

Windows Media Player popped up on screen. It showed a large bed with a maroon duvet. I clicked play and started to watch. My sister walked into view. She was wearing a sheer white babydoll and matching panties. I lay on my stomach enraptured by what I was seeing.

Kaitlin slowly, enticingly slid her hands over her stomach. The movements made her babydoll inch up her body and fall rhythmically. She turned around, put her hands on the bed and bent at the waist. Her head turned and looked back at the camera. She looked like she was looking right at me. Slowly, she lifted one leg and put her knee on the bed. Then the next one. She slowly crawled to the head of the bed. This whole time her ass was swaying and I was becoming...aroused? Its a new sensation for me, but I can't seem to lay still. I hit pause so I could try to get more comfortable.

I propped myself up at my headboard with my pillows under me so I could lean back. I sat the laptop off to the side and hit play. On the screen, my sister turned around and lay back. She seemed to have mirrored my exact position. She continued to caress her body. Her hands started massaging her breasts. I inexplicably started to copy her actions, although mine were probably not as sexy as the way she did it.

Her hands then began to glide down her body. I really didn't want to move my hands. They felt so good on my breasts, but they slid over my own body. Kaitlin's hands were now rubbing her panty clad pussy. So my trembling hand went to my crotch. Then reality hit. I jerked my hand away and stopped the video. I bolted off the bed. Was I really going to do it? Was I really going to masturbate watching my sister masturbate? I was pacing the room, conflicted. One thought kept creeping back to me, though. It felt good. I had no sexual experiences, not even from myself. That vibrator I got was still hidden in its box. I kept glancing at the laptop wondering what else my sister was going to do. And that thought kept turning my head away.

Then a thought came. I know not where it came from. But unbidden and unannounced it was there. Building. I didn't know how to please myself. My sister did know how to please herself. Who better to learn from than her? She was always teaching me how to be a woman, even if I didn't take her lessons and utilize them. She was the one that showed me how to apply makeup. How to dress like a woman. She was the one that taught me to shave. Why shouldn't she show me this side of being a woman?

My feet started moving before my mind told me I was moving. My hands were unbuttoning my nightshirt. The nightshirt slipped off my arms and puddled on the floor at my feet. I kept walking to the bed. I got to the foot of the bed. My heart was racing. My hands were shaking. My stomach was aflutter and my knees were weak. But I knew. I knew I was going to finish this. I slipped my pajama pants down over my hips and let gravity do the rest. I imitated what I saw of my sister previously and crawled to the head of my bed in my bra and panties. They weren't sexy. Its not like I had planned this.

Once I was in position, I went back to where my sister had just gotten on bed. I breathed in deeply. I really was going to go through with this. I hit play. She started caressing her body again. Kneading her breasts. And I copied her every movement. When her hands started to travel down her stomach, I didn't even hesitate. She started to stroke her panty clad pussy. I did too. Outside of my showers and baths and wiping, I had never stroked my pussy. But this time was different. This time there felt a fire building. I closed my eyes and a moan escaped my lips.

I heard another moan. A different moan. My sister's voice. My eyes shot open. I frantically looked at the door, but no one was there. Then I looked over and it was the video. My sister had her hand in her panties and was rubbing her pussy. I paused the video again. What a mood killer that was thinking I just got caught. Getting my breathing back to normal, or at least normal for the past few moments, I got back to the part where my sister started stroking her pussy. This time I vowed I had to watch everything, no closing my eyes.

I hit play. We, my video sister and I, started stroking our pussies. I saw her eyes. She looked like she was staring into mine as we stroked our pussies. There was a fire in her eyes. A hunger. Then I knew, she was looking at me in lust. Her hands slipped into her panties. Mine followed. My eyes never leaving hers. She got this delightful, blissful smile on her face. As she continued playing with her pussy, her other hand crept its way up her torso. She unfastened the front clasp of the babydoll and her breasts were bared to me. My bra was a back clasp so I forwent unclasping it and just pushed the cups up towards my chin. When my breasts were free, I started massaging them just as my sister was doing.

She was driving me closer and closer to something I'd not encountered before. And I didn't know it. Her hand in her panties was rubbing at a frenetic pace. Her hand at her breasts were alternating between a deep knead and pinching her nipple. That hand couldn't decide which breast to work so it kept alternating. And she was strumming my body like an instrument, using my hands to do it. Suddenly, she moaned. Loudly. I hadn't realized how loud the volume was set on it. But I didn't have time to care. I moaned. My body lurched. When my back arched off the bed, two of my fingers from the hand in my panties buried themselves into my pussy. My other hand clenched around the breast it was attached to. Another moan. I was shaking and shivering. Finally, my body slumped to the mattress. I wasn't done quivering. I rolled over on my side facing the laptop. 

My fingers were still buried in my pussy, but they were wiggling as if they were attached to an open electric wire. These two wiggling fingers brought on another wave. Not as intense. I squeezed my legs together, arched my back and moaned yet again. I looked at the laptop monitor and saw my beautiful sister. Leaning back, panting with a sated smile. I was slowly moving my hand to turn off the video.

Behind me I heard, "That was so hot!"

Not wanting to believe what I heard, I slowly turned my head and saw my sister in the doorway. I quickly tried to get the bedspread over my exposed body. Which dumped the laptop on the ground, luckily not breaking it. By the time I was done fumbling with the covers, my sister had sat down on my bed next to me.

I was panicked. My sister had found me quite literally with my hand in the cookie jar. I started to cry. I felt a hand on my head. She slowly stroked my hair while saying things like "Ssh shh" and "It's okay". Finally, my tears relented.

Fighting back more sobs, I asked, "H-how much...err...h-how long..." But I couldn't finish a coherent question.

Her hand stopped stroking my hair. I looked back at her to see why. She was looking at the door. Finally she said, "I got up, not being as tired as I thought. I saw your light on so I thought I would sit and talk. I was about to come in since your door wasn't closed, but stopped."

Still looking at her, I asked, "Why'd you stop?" My previous embarrassment abated now that my curiosity was overtaking my emotions.

"I heard a moan." Oh God! My embarrassment reemerging ten-fold. I turned my head and buried my face in my pillows. "Then I heard my moan." Oh God! She was right outside my room! I wished for a split second that the world would open a big hole and swallow me in it. "I shouldn't have, but I eased into your room." Wait, she must have known what I'd seen and she still came in?

I turned to look at her again. Surprise evident on my face. She slowly smiled down at me. "You know I always thought you were beautiful if you would only show it." It's true she always did compliment me growing up. Comparing me to Kate Hudson, Keira Knightley, Audrey Hepburn and half a dozen other celebrities, but what did this have to do with anything?

"I just had to see. I couldn't help it." She shifted until she was wrapped around my body, spooning me. "I always wanted you to know, but I never could say it. So I tried to give you hints, but you never seemed to understand their meanings."

She stopped talking. Then it hit me, like a gut-punch. "There will be someone who will see you as beautiful and show you how special you really are. And they will treat you like I know you deserve to be." "I know one day that person will come and whoever that person is will cherish your love. Love, always and forever, Kaitlin." And many other little tidbits over the years. She meant her!

I wanted to roll over. I wanted to face her. I squirmed to try to achieve my goals, but she held me captive in her arms. Finally, I relented and let her hold me.

Sighing, "Yes, Hailey. It's true." She knew me better than anyone. Of course, she would know when I figured it out.

Finally, she loosened her grip on me. "You know, it must not be very comfortable lying like that."

I looked down and saw my bra still pushed up and over my breasts and my hand was still buried in my panties. My sticky and wet panties. I blushed and pulled my hand out of my panties. When my hand was free, my sister reached out and grabbed my wrist. I was so shocked I didn't, couldn't, do anything. So I watched. I watched my sister take my hand and sniff it. Her eyes rolled back, luxuriating in my scent. And slowly, oh so slowly, she brought my hand to her mouth. She put one finger in her mouth. Once it was in, she closed her mouth and rolled her tongue tantalizing around my digit. She moaned with my finger in her mouth. Pulling on my wrist, my finger came out of her mouth with a pop. She continued this process on all of my fingers.

When she was done, she looked at me. But this time it was different. This time it was like her video self. I felt myself shiver. Scared? Yes. Nervous? Yes. Excited? YES! She smiled, "So did little sister like my video?"

I could only nod. She unwrapped me from my bed covers I had hastily thrown over me. She unclasped my bra and flung it away. She licked her lips. "Did it feel amazing?" I nodded. She kissed my collar bone. Trailing kisses up my neck, my jaw, my ear, my cheek, I turned my head in anticipation of her goal—my lips. She pulled her head away just then, leaving me panting with sexual need. "Tell me sis, was that your first?" I nodded. She smiled again, "Do you want to know how great it feels with someone?" I wanted to tell her, scream at her to show me, but my mouth would not work. I could only nod. 

She rolled me on my back. Leaning over me, "Little sister," she kisses me on the lips gently. She leans over next to my ear. Whispering, barely audible even to me, "you're about to have your world rocked." My whole body seemed to tingle.

Kaitlin placed a hand behind my neck and raised my head towards her. She brought her lips to mine and kissed me, softly. Her tongue caressed my lips, trying to slip in my mouth. Her other hand, which was on my breast, pinched my nipple. I gasped and in that brief interlude her tongue slipped into my mouth. Our tongues met. One timid. One determined. It didn't take long for my tongue to respond. I tried pushing my tongue into her mouth. She started to pull away, but my arm wrapped around her and pulled her mouth back into mine. I was on fire. I started kissing her back with the same passion she kissed me. The hand that was on my breast drifted down. My breath stopped as she slid her hand into my panties. My thoughts of kissing vanished. My arms loosened from around Kaitlin.

She leaned back slightly and asked, "Can you be quiet, little sis?" I didn't know, but I nodded anyway. "Good. Because if you can't, mom and dad will hear. And I'll have to stop. You don't want that do you?" I shook my head. She grinned down at me, "Me either."

She kissed my nose, my chin, my collar bone, the valley between my breasts. Everywhere she kissed new and more goosebumps appeared. She looked up at me. Her chin resting between my breasts, but did nothing. Until I looked down at her. Then she smiled, licked her lips and began sucking my tits. I moaned, quietly, and closed my eyes. She stopped. Why did she stop? I looked down. She was in the same position, but as soon as I saw her eyes again, she started sucking again. I tried to keep her gaze, but the pleasure was building too fast. I closed my eyes and again the sensation faded. I knew what she wanted, but I couldn't...couldn't control myself. I brought my eyes back down and again she started sucking my tits. I kept my eyes on her and she put my nipple in her mouth and sucked. I kept watching through it all. If I wanted pleasure, I had to watch. That was the unsaid rule. She smiled around my nipple. She saw how I struggled to do what she wanted and she was pleased. I shivered with that knowledge. Still smiling, she bit my nipple. It wasn't hard, but it send a jolt straight to my pussy. My body lurched off the bed, but her weight brought it back. 

My eyes! Shit, I closed them. I opened my eyes to see her back away from my saliva-covered breast. She smiled again and dropped her head back to my body. Only this time it was my other breast. I kept my eyes opened the entire time, except when she bit my other nipple. The pleasure was building too fast. I could feel it, but that bite which any longer would have me crashing over the edge. She wouldn't let me just relish in the pleasure. No, she had to keep bringing me back down from the threshold. And that was how she was managing it, by watching my eyes to see if I was succumbing.

With my eyes open again, she kissed down my stomach to my navel. She dipped her tongue out and licked and sucked around my belly button. She placed both hands on either side of my hips and tugged the last remaining piece of clothing away from me. I arched my butt off the bed to facilitate my panties removal. She gingerly, slipped them down and off my legs. She started to kiss up one leg, agonizingly slowly. Just as she got to the junction of me legs, I couldn't bear it any more and moaned, loudly. I don't think it was that loud, but it was louder than any sound I made since she started kissing me.

She got up off the bed. I looked at her pleadingly. Is she really going to leave me like this? So close to orgasm. And just like that leave. No. She can't be that cruel. Surely this is her just torturing me. I saw her open the door and take a tentative look out. She softly closed the door again and came back to the bed.

"Hailey, remember what I said?" What she said? When? I wracked my brain. OH! If I got too loud she was going to stop. OH GOD, NO! Don't stop now. Recognition of what I had done was evident on my face. "Good. You do remember. That was a little louder than I would have liked, but it seems mom and dad didn't hear. But we don't want to tempt fate, do we?" I shook my head.

She looked down at me with contemplation. "You have me all wet, little sister. If we start back up, I don't know if I could stop now even if mom and dad woke up. So I have a solution. Do you want the solution or do we just go to bed?"

My throat was dry from all the activity so far. I tried to tell her what I wanted, but words wouldn't come. She turned to leave. "Wait," I croaked.

She turned to me, raised eyebrow, "Solution?" I nodded vigorously. She grinned and started pulling down her panties. My eyes widened as her shaved pussy was exposed. I wasn't sure what was happening, but I lay there on my back unmoving. "This," she said as she started walking to me and raised her hand with her panties in it slightly, "is the solution." I looked at her hand, confused. "I am going to stick these, with all my juices on them, in your mouth as sort of gag. You can not, under any circumstance, remove them. Understand?" I nodded my head.

She put her panties over my nose. "Can you smell my arousal? You had me so wet watching you masturbate. Then wetter still after I got to play with your beautiful body. I'm still dripping with desire for you, literally. Can you smell it?" I only moaned in response. "Now open your mouth and taste my arousal while I continue to play with my little sister." I did as she asked. I smelled and now tasted my first pussy and it was my sister's.

She got back to where she was before my moan interrupted her and asked, "Now where was I." She was looking right at my spread pussy. And I tried to say, "My pussy. Please lick my pussy." But with panties in my mouth nothing coherent came out. "Oh right. I need to lick and kiss your other leg now."




My Awakening



She went to my other leg and did the exact same thing as the first leg. I groaned in frustration, But the nearer she got to my pussy, the hotter it became. I felt like a raging inferno. I knew that there were no other places for her to go once she finished the ascent up this leg. That realization brought me back to the height of my pleasure and was bound to push my over this ledge I'd been built up towards.

Finally, her mouth mere centimeters away from my burning center. Her hot breath stoking the embers of my desire. I continued to watch her. Our eyes locked. Her tongue lightly swept across her lips. She seemed to be savoring the aroma wafting out from me. And with no warning her tongue lapped from the bottom to the top of my slit in one long continuous stroke. I came. I knew it. The first time it ever happened, but I knew this was what an orgasm felt like. I kept my sister's gaze. I don't know how the pleasure was so great, but I knew I had to keep her gaze. And I did.

She pushed her head so her nose rested on my clit. She pushed her tongue into my pussy and it writhed like a snake. Up, down, left, right. My hips started to buck and shake. Part of me tried to get away. Part of me wanted to get it further in me. Before either part could determine what to do, my sister's hands grabbed my waist and brought my pussy tighter to her mouth. I squirmed. I lost it. I closed my eyes. I couldn't keep them open any longer, but the sensations didn't stop. They kept going, kept building. Then another crash. No amount of force my sister could summon could get my body back on that bed. My shoulders and my feet were all that remained on the bed, yet my sister's mouth was still glued to my pussy. I had to get away. Darkness was enveloping me. I could sense it. Another crash. I was screaming. Yelling my sister's name. Nothing emerged from my panty-filled mouth except groans and moans. I don't remember much after that. I groggily awoke. Naked and alone in bed.

I rolled over and lying on the pillow beside me was a note in my sister's handwriting. "I really loved watching you sleep, but had to get to my own bed before mom and dad woke up. There's so much more I want to do to that pretty little body of yours. Forever and Always, Kaitlin."

I rolled back on my side. That's when I noticed it. I still had my sister's panties clutched in my head. I let out a deep contented sigh and got out of bed.