11 comments/ 31214 views/ 45 favorites Losing My Balance Ch. 01 By: HeartnSole Hello readers! This is the first chapter in a series so I do hope you enjoy it. As always, I love/greatly appreciate any feedback and constructive criticism! (Let me know what you think!) Many thanks to Azure_skies for editing. ******* We stumbled into the room laughing together. I noticed that Bee's cheeks were rosy. Droplets of water fell onto the cherry floor and I leaned back against the wall and just laughed. I'm a little bit of an OCD when it comes to messes, but that's just because I like to preemptively strike. But here we were, our backs against the wall, laughing and dripping everywhere. It was a messy laugh too, the kind where you can't catch your breath and besides your drenched appearance, your eyes decide to join in the fun and tears of incredulity and hilarity only add to the overall picture. This was one of the few times that I felt on a par with Bee, not that she knew. Whatever I've achieved, she has already achieved something greater. It's like that commercial, I can do anything better than you. Instead of making me more competitive, it has just raised her onto a pedestal which I can't quite reach. So, I idolize her, and feel stupid around her. Well, stupid is a little harsh. I feel foolish. I've always wanted to be her equal, or perhaps you could say, I've always felt unworthy of her friendship. Now, you may think that my self-esteem was low, to have such a high opinion of someone, but truly, if you've ever met someone like Bee, you'll know that their heart is pure. And you just want so badly to be pure like them. It's hard and it's wonderful having someone like that in your life. And she is an important part of my life. In that moment, when I looked at her gold shaded sun hair drenched with water, her cheeks were red from laughing, her eyes glinting with amusement, and her body opening and closing with every shaky breath after a long laugh, I just wanted to kiss her. Wait. Kiss her? I shook my head inwardly. Too much time spent trying to be close to her. That's Bee's thing, not mine. And that's a damn dangerous road. If there was a way to be intimate with her, I've thought about it, but I had always, always avoided that road. I think we've been seeing too much of each other lately. "Uhmmm... Irri?" Bee prodded my arm, "Must I always come looking for you when you zone out?" I grinned sheepishly, "Only if you want me back!" Bee laughed... "Irri, the love I have for you will always have me calling you back...The love I have for you is like a husband's undying love for his wife... The type of love that is loyal, never-ending, and possibly dependent on some of your wonderful cooking which would be really really..." I punched her arm before she could finish it the sentence. Asshole. ******* We ended up cleaning up from the rain and changing into some comfy sweats. While Bee checked some of her emails on the kitchen's island, I started making some of my "wonderful food". It was a routine memorized by us a long time ago. While I prepared homemade pizzas for us, she told me about her love life and work and anything else that she felt like talking about. Mostly, she talked about her love life. She had been seeing this girl lately, this really needy girl who basically just turned Bee off completely. Bee sat at my island, wine glass in hand, "And I told her, it's just too damn much. I can't deal with dependent girls like that, I want my woman to be capable of asking me out without any passive-aggressive-waiting-around-for-me-to-do-it-every-single-fucking-time!" She took a swig of the wine and wiped her lips with the back of her hands. I have to say, she has the looks of a really girly girl, but acts like a tomboy. It's a no brainer as to why girls AND guys are drawn to her. She continued on with her rant, "I want someone who will know what they want, and then DO something about it, instead of just pushing me around and making me do it for them", Bee shook her head. I laughed, I think the wine and lack of food for a while was starting to get to her and all the pent up emotions. She doesn't really share with anyone else, but me. She shares everything with me. It's true that with her and everyone else I've always been a listener, and that's what's helped her open up with me. While I waited for the pizzas to cook, I took a seat right next to her on the counter, absentmindedly swirling my wine again, the sips I took warmed me up on the inside, accompanying the sweats that I had changed into. I was a bit lost in my thoughts...specifically, the one I had about kissing Bee. I had honestly never thought about it before, at least not consciously (maybe when I was drunk). Alright maybe also when I wasn't conscious, I was dreaming. But it happened that night she had told me that she had hooked up with someone, and maybe I am bi-curious, so that's what I chalk it up to. Prodding me softly, Bee looked at me, I thought she was going to ask about what had me so quiet (so I almost panicked), but her mind was concentrated on the aroma of food! She reminded me to check the pizzas and I smiled at her, and asked her some more questions about her current ex,which she kindly ranted on about. It worked as an avoidance strategy so she wouldn't notice my quietness and because I genuinely wanted to hear. The funny thing about her exes is that they never liked me. It wasn't that they were jealous of me in the romantic sense, they knew that Bee and I were plainly platonic. It was more so the fact that Bee would unload on me, she was extremely open with me, and it made her exes uncomfortable. Like I said, I was slightly bi-curious, but as far as everyone knows, I'm as straight as an arrow (which placated her exes). Also, if Bee found out, I wouldn't hear the end of it. I wouldn't be able to tolerate her smugness on that one! Of course, having a girl like Bee could make you insecure or unsure about yourself. She was America's wet dream - tall, blonde, brown eyes, and a smile that could turn around a bad day. She was also lean and muscular from her days of playing volleyball. In contrast, I was on the shorter side, thicker and curvier. Alright, I've been called down right voluptuous. I never got any complaints for it though, with my light brown skin, and my dark brown eyes. The irony in spite of our differences, is that Bee and I had similar hair. Hers was a golden dirty blonde, thick, and long, halfway down her back. And mine had the same thickness, as well as the length. However, mine ranged from darker to lighter shades of browns, with red highlights. Anyway, after Bee finished ranting about her ex, she threw me a guilty look, "I've gone on too long babe! Tell me about any changes in your love life? Any studs chasing after you?" I had to laugh and shake my head. I've been stuck in a rut for a while; I don't know what it is, or rather... I don't really want to admit it to myself. I'm not ready for that, and it's too soon. Besides, I like to keep some feelings deep down where they will never see the light. "You know me, Miss Bee... Having to swat them away like flies!" I smiled and poked her side. And with some banter back and forth, more conversion, two tummies full of pizza and wine, I got into my bed. Bee was a chronic late night owl, and usually came up a bit later if she was staying over. This time she was finishing up a movie that I had been nodding off to since it had first started. I had been extra tired these past few weeks with the stress of holding down a job and studying for my LSATS. Bee was already out in the business world, having gotten a job at a bank. She was a number cruncher, which was very helpful when it came time for me to fill out taxes, so benefit to my side! I had just closed my eyes after changing sleepily and brushing my teeth, already dozing when Bee climbed into bed with me, she cuddled up close. She nudged me, "I'm not tired yet, there's nothing good on TV, your Wi-Fi is acting up because of the storm, so you have to be my entertainment for now!" This was also a common occurrence, sleeping in bed together. There was something about being able to cuddle with someone and not have to worry about anything else happening that wrapped me in a blanket and warmed me all the way down to my toes. I let out a groan, with my face muffled into the pillow, "But I'm tired! Go play a board game or something!" Bee's hands were suddenly on my side and she started tickling me, I kicked and laughed and squirmed, "Okay, okay, I give, I know that was a silly suggestion!" That damn smug face of hers just stared at me, "And?" I rolled my eyes, "I don't even have a board game." She smirked even more if possible, "And?" I sighed out exasperatedly, "And I always tell you how boring they are!" Bee gave another poke to my side and grinned brightly, "Thank you very very much!" I shook my head. This damn woman. She was going to be the death of me. I put on a hopeful face, "So, maybe we should just sleep then? Right?" Bee shook her head at me, chiding, "No no no. I refuse to let you become an old lady fart. We're going to stay up late and I'm invoking a literal and figurative rain check, on that scary movie you promised me last time." I groaned. Now I would never get to sleep because I would be scared too! Bee just smiled sweetly at me until I spoke again. I swear she's the only one who can make me do all this shit, if it was anybody else minus a significant other, I'd have kicked them out of my room by now. "Can we at least watch in bed?" Bee was entirely too happy, "Yes please! I already brought up the DVD from downstairs!" I narrowed my eyes at her, "This was your plan the whole time, wasn't it?" She tossed her long blonde hair and shrugged, "Well I didn't plan on it raining to fuck with the Wi-Fi... and I didn't plan on there being shitty television tonight...and I didn't plan on..." "Okay babes! I get the picture!" I cut her off; sometimes this woman was so damn incorrigible. She jumped up and grabbed my laptop and the DVD, with a wide grin plastered on her face. Bitch. We both got under the covers; I had already changed into a comfy pair of shorts and a too big tank top. I always got hot at night, whereas Bee was the contrary. She was clad in a pair of pajama pants and a light hoodie, another one of the ways we were opposites. Bee rested the laptop on her stomach with it tilted towards me as we sat up, using the pillows to lean against. This was just like college in the squished dorm rooms and later in our apartment when we were still saving up to buy a TV. That's how we had met actually; she had lived in the room right next to me. They say that proximity actually determines your relationships over any opposites attract business, and with her I could definitely believe that. As a hall we would go to different events with everyone, party together, and the relationship with her just felt so natural. Anyway, when it came time to move out of the dorms, we were each other's first picks for apartments, and the rest was history. She's been my closest friend since college, and we were lucky to have found jobs in the same town so we see each other pretty often. So, we started the movie, sitting up and lying next to each other. I'm one of the scaredy cats when it comes to these kinds of movies; I grip the person next to me's arm so tight that it hurts them. But, Bee knew the risks and she was a thrill seeker like this, not minding. The movie started out with your typical creepy kid and confused parents. Oh joy, this definitely makes me want to have kids one day so I can analyze every single one of their actions to make sure they aren't possessed. I started complaining about this to Bee but she just laughed and told me she'd perform the exorcism on them as the godmother. Well, at least her scary movie knowledge could come in handy in at least one way. I cuddled closer to her during the scary parts, but since I had consciously thought about kissing her earlier, I was hyper aware of our bodies touching. It happened in a way that was different than before. I tried to chalk it off from me being horny and not having had sex recently. I had to stop myself from looking at her, so I just pressed into her and tried to concentrate on the movie and not peeing my pants. It was one of those thriller moments in the movie; they were trying to find the creepy kid, when all of a sudden he pops out. Suffice to say I screamed, "Fuck!!" I gripped Bee's arm tight and she let out a hiss, "Irri, that fucking hurt that time!" I glared at her and stuck out my tongue, "Blame yourself! You picked the movie!" She stroked my hair back and giggled, "You're right, you're right, poor baby. Okay, it's going to be okay, no more scary monsters..." She then pinched my cheek. Asshole! I would get her back. After that one scare, I was more desensitized throughout. I was glad that Bee would be staying over though, I probably couldn't watch this and then sleep by myself. I'm a bit prone to nightmares, and I didn't need any help with this. I was still waiting to get her back after her babying me, so after she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth I quickly got up from bed and turned off the lights. Then, I hid behind the door. I couldn't help grinning wickedly. This was going to be oh so good. After about five minutes of her going to the bathroom and brushing her teeth, she opened the door and I jumped out at her and shouted out, "Boo!" "FUCK!" She screamed and tripped on the part where the bedroom floor turned to carpet. And as a good friend I immediately felt sorry for her. Just kidding, I laughed my ass off first and then offered her help to get up. Her face was one of amusement and annoyance, a look I was very used to. I was grinning broadly, but she took my hand and then she tugged me down onto the floor with her! I fell half on top of her and couldn't help but giggling, "You ass!" She grinned, "I'm the ass? Who scared who first?" I tried poking at her but she grabbed my hand and held it down, I mock glared at her, "Well whose idea was it to watch a scary movie?" She just shrugged and looked at me with an innocent look... "You owed me a rain check for it! So really it's your-" I interrupted her and narrowed my eyes, "Don't you dare say it, or I'm making you sleep right here on the floor!" Bee let out a light giggle and tugged me to her, squeezing me, "I'd hold you down and make you sleep down here with me then!" "Psh! You couldn't even if you tried!" I giggled, "I have moves you wouldn't expect!" Bee couldn't keep a straight face and was just grinning widely, "I think by now I've seen all your moves Irri, 'fraid to disappoint you, but you can't surprise me anymore like that!" The nerve of her. She thought she knew every little slip I had up my sleeve! Well then... Here's something that will really surprise her. I frowned at her and looked intently... and Bee just kept giggling and shaking her head, "Bring it on then, show me what-" And then I pressed forward and kissed her. Her lips were minty, warm and moist... I lingered for a few seconds and things got quiet... Her arms went slack around me in surprise and her eyes were closed when I opened mine. I forced out a laugh, poked her side, and jumped up from the ground, totally ignoring what I had felt, "See! I'm still capable of surprising you!" I quickly climbed onto the bed, trying to ignore the awkward silence... Bee blinked slowly and looked up at me from the ground, "Irri... what was that?" I just shrugged and grinned too widely, "I wanted to surprise you!" Bee raised her eyebrow, "You could have tickled me and I'd have been surprised... You didn't have to kiss me." Dammit, she wasn't going to bullshit around this. I totally would have gone along with the bullshitting, and now I had to dig myself out of the hole I had dug for myself. "Bee, it wasn't anything really, I swear," I smiled at her, "You know that I would have told you otherwise. I'm just feeling silly with all that red wine, and adrenaline from the movie!" Bee narrowed her eyes at me, I had a feeling she didn't believe me all the way through, but I think I could persuade her there if I was careful about it. You may be thinking, Irri, you're an idiot, you're lying to your best friend about whatever that was, and you're not even doing a good job about it. Well, you're right. But, things come about when you're ready for them, and I'm not ready for anything else but the sweet sweet taste of this denial. Bee is off limits, if I ever try a girl, and maybe I need to now, then it won't be her. I would not ruin what we have. After a few moments, Bee just shook her head and laughed, "You had me going there Irri, you really did." I just forced out a grin, and then stuck out my tongue, "Told you I had moves you wouldn't even begin to suspect!" Bee just kept shaking her head at me before climbing into bed. Ah, the sweet torture of being so close in proximity to someone that I had just kissed. Well, I could handle it, it didn't bother me one bit. Okay, maybe a little, but like I said, denial tastes way too sweet right now for me to just let it go. ******* Usually I sleep deeply and so does Bee. But that night I tossed and I turned and I tossed and I turned until I woke Bee up. Okay, well it was accidentally but it just happened. I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss and how it would have been if it was longer, if she had had a chance to respond back. And then Bee spoke out softly, "Irri?" I bit my lip and then had to admit I was awake, I mean I probably had woken her up anyway, "Yes?" "Tell me why you kissed me", she rolled towards me, the moonlight catching the shine of her eyes. I sighed out, "It's really not important Bee, it was all in good fun." Bee slipped closer to me, draping her leg over my hip and then reaching her arm around me. My breathing grew shallow, instead of the normally relaxed feeling that would seep into me. What the hell, my best friend was making me nervous. And then she leaned in whispering into my lips, "Let's have some fun again, then..." And she kissed me. It was a light, warm, slightly sleepy kiss that shook me deep to my core, because then it turned into something with fire. With an intensity that I couldn't shake, and she was tasting me and I was tasting her. We were feasting on each other, and the moans that passed between us, the breath that escaped one's lips into another was like nothing I've ever had with anyone else before. I needed more. I rolled on top of her, and she let out a whimper at the position, me across her long lithe body, as she pulled my hands and squeezed them, urging my body and my lips to hers again. Our breasts were pressed together, I had never thought about this before, what it would be like to have my body pressed up against a woman like this: to have an embrace that felt so right and made me so wet with her. The feeling of her hot mouth on mine, my body pressing down onto hers, and her trying to feel every inch of mine was almost too much to handle. I could feel the heat flowing from the center of my legs and radiating outward. We were caught in a torrid kiss that seeped throughout my body: breasts mashed together, hard nipples rubbing, fingers entwined, and breathing ragged. And just as her hand slipped out of mine, about to touch me in a place I never imagined her going, she yelled out. "Irri! Get your butt out of bed please- we're going to be late!" I blinked and opened my eyes. It was a dream. Bee was in my bathroom, getting ready for the day, and I was curled up, squeezing a pillow. We hadn't been having a crazy hot midnight romp, I was still straight, and we were going to be late to go meet our friends for brunch. Losing My Balance Ch. 01 I flipped onto my back and let out a deep sigh. Rational thought Irri, rational thought. Just because it was about Bee doesn't mean anything. I haven't been with anyone for a while, and she's just in my head because I've been spending so much time with her. Not to mention, she's into girls. Maybe I just need to try out girls. Not that girl, not Bee... maybe I was just more bi-curious than I thought. That's all there is to it, right? Losing My Balance Ch. 02 Hello readers! Sorry it's been so long for those who waited and if I didn't get back to you. I recommend reading the previous installment for context, or this won't make much sense. Hope you enjoy, and any comments/constructive criticism is much appreciated! And finally, a big thank you to my editor Azure_skies! ***** From Irri's Eyes: There I was, not at my first gay club... but my first time at a gay club where I was actively pursuing. Yes, pursuing women. I could just imagine the smirk that Bee would have on, if she knew I was here. And that's the thing, after that kiss, I didn't want to tell her. I know she would be upset that I wasn't telling her my feelings about my sexuality, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. Yes, I'm embracing my bi-curious side, but it doesn't have anything to do with her. Don't get me wrong, Bee is absolutely beautiful. She's funny as fuck and wildly intelligent. She's incredibly talented and one of the best people I know. However, I would not risk my friendship with her for a relationship. Friendships last longer than relationships. Besides, she wouldn't be interested in me anyway because I'm not her type. Anyway, I couldn't go to the club alone because I'm way too self-conscious for that. Instead, I asked my brother and his boyfriend along. I've always been extremely close to my brother. He knew that he was gay at a young age, and I was the first he told. It made sense now, that I would confide in him about my bi-curious feelings. However, I didn't tell him about what happened with Bee or how I felt about it. Amir just thought that she was too busy this weekend. I was wearing my wedges that were comfortable enough to dance in, made my ass more pronounced, showed off my calves, and pushed my chest up. I was also dressed in a skirt which was tight around my ass and a shirt tucked into it. My eyeliner was winged and I wore bright red lipstick. I had a plan, and the tools to implement it. In fact, when I had gotten to Amir's apartment to pregame, Jeff, his boyfriend, grabbed his chest and yelled out, "Amir, we're breaking up! Your sister's made me straight!" I couldn't help but laugh, I loved hanging out with the two of them, who could ask for better wingmen? ***** From Bee's Eyes: Irri has avoiding me lately. Since the night that she had kissed me, I felt like she's been holding me at a distance. She always thinks she can hide her feelings with me by directing more questions towards me when I try to dig a little into her. The thing is, I let her because when I push to go deeper, her military mind of avoidance strategies comes into play. Yes, she's going to be a great lawyer! In the meantime, I had been racking my head about why she hadn't been talking to me. Was she embarrassed? Was she confused...? Could it have been more than just a silly kiss? It couldn't be. She's always been straight and NEVER been attracted to women, though she admired them. But why do I have to reassure myself? Mostly... I think it's because if there was an inkling of a chance with her, I wouldn't be giving a damn about anyone else. But, if she was curious, she would talk to me. We are at that point in our friendship, where we can always talk to each other about a thing and not have to be worried about the other person thinking we're silly or running off. There aren't limits to this, no terms and conditions on this friendship agreement! Anyway, it was Saturday night and I had a date with a chick that someone had set me up with. She was a cute petite red head, named Dana. But, even upon appetizers at the restaurant, I found out she was more of a talker than a listener. She couldn't concentrate worth a damn when I talked. To be fair, she could just be nervous. Irri would tell me that I should just end it after dinner, if I didn't want anything more. I needed to get lost in something though; you could say I was in the mood for a roll in the hay. Worrying about Irri had been stressing me out lately, and the possibility that... Shut up Bee! Instead of ending the night there, I suggested a club. It was one of the newer ones, and I was dressed up enough for it. I wore a soft collared white dress short that fell mid-thigh. My sleeves were pushed up over my elbows, with a couple of buttons undone to show some cleavage. On the bottom, I wore my leather leggings and as far as my hair went: I was wearing my long thick hair in a messy bun, stray hairs falling cross my cheeks. I looked good, and I didn't want it just to go to waste on a dinner that wasn't pulling me back for more. But maybe this night was still salvageable with the right drinks and the right dancing! Hopefully Dana could channel her nonstop talking into dancing. I wondered if she could compare with Irri though considering Irri's years of Bhangra classes. As my petite red head and I entered the club hand in hand, we went straight to the bar. Ordering four tequila shots on top of the drinks we had at dinner was a bit risky but what's life without a little fun? ***** From Irri's Eyes: I was on the dance floor, my head was buzzing, the music was great and I had a delicious warm thrum throughout my body. Okay, I'll admit it, I was drunk! But after these stressful days, it was the perfect way to let things go and relax into someone I could be. My brother and his boyfriend were dancing in a way that could only involve alcohol and I was on my own nearby them. There were plenty of women around considering it was lady's night. All of a sudden, as I had been rolling my hips to the fast paced bass, someone grabbed my hand and lightly tugged so I faced them. It was a hot woman by anyone's standards with long brown hair and tight clothes in all the right places. She smiled at me, urging my body towards hers and I had enough alcohol to relax into it. My ass connected with her upper thighs, and her hands gripped my hips. You could say I knew a thing or two about how to move, having taken Bhangra classes since I was young. Bee would always drool in admiration whenever I danced! As I got lost to the beat of the music and the feel of the woman's body on mine, her hands started rubbing every inch of my skin. Over my legs, my arms, my stomach, my breasts... it made me wet. Yes, good people of the jury, I was being turned on by a woman and I didn't give a damn! Thank goodness for alcohol. Her head urged me to tilt my neck, and her lips started pressing searing kisses all over. I pressed my ass against her firmly as goose bumps ran all over my skin. Reaching back, my hand cupped the back of her head, holding her to me as she licked and nibbled all over my neck. On my end, my hips were moving rhythmically, intensifying the friction between us. It wasn't long before her hands maneuvered my body to face hers. Finally, with a moment of heated eye contact, our mouths fastened onto each other. And, I have to say this about making out with a woman for the first time. There was no scruff and nothing to jolt me out of this silky kiss. It was fucking hot. Face to face, our bodies pressed up against one of each other, I had no idea breasts could feel this fucking fantastic. I wondered if the kiss between Bee and I had continued would have been like this... No I didn't. I couldn't, and I wouldn't go there. I pressed myself against my mystery woman and kissed her with renewed energy. Getting lost in this was the perfect remedy. ***** From Bee's Eyes: Dana and I slid our way to the dance floor. I was right about her having a lot of energy- the music was great tonight, with a loud thumping bass. It made our dancing more passionate as we grinded up against one another. Her ass in my crotch, my arms grabbing her and pulling her close. And while she danced well, it was nothing compared to Irri's dancing, especially the last time I had seen it. We had decided to have a movie marathon and were drunk off our asses. Irri insisted we take a break from being couch potatoes and do a bit of stretching. She had been showing me a new song and talking about how all it made her want to do was to get down and dirty. I had to admit, this song by Marian Hill called "Got It" was hot as hell. Especially the lyrics... "I got this thing...gonna break you down, you're crumbling till you hit the ground..." The second Irri pulled out a chair and started rolling her hips into that godforsaken song, I couldn't rip my eyes off of her hips. The way they must be when she's riding whatever boy toy she was seeing. Whatever that thing was, she had it. The kind that could break someone down and willingly. I loved it when a girl rides me, so I could only imagine... No. No I'm not imagining. Anyway, the point is, Irri's a fucking great dancer! Fuck. The tequila was doing a number on me. I shouldn't be thinking about her like that. And yes, my jealously prickled at the thought of her being with a guy like that, but I'm going to blame it on the a-a-a alcohol. I'm at a club, on a date, and drunkish. There is nothing to be alarmed about. This is just the alcohol and the kiss that had happened. That was it. At that moment, Dana received a text from a friend who was in line outside of the club. She ran off to go meet her while I tried to get through the dance floor to get a cup of water. As I headed in that direction, I saw a couple of guys dancing on each other amidst all the women. It was Amir, Irri's brother! He was dancing along with his boyfriend. I ran over to him and tapped his shoulder. A grin lit up his face as he wrapped me in a big hug. He laughed into my ear, "Irri said you were too busy this weekend to explore her lesbihonest side, you're gonna surprise her! Our girl has already caught someone!" He wiggled his eyebrows and gestured to his right. Immediately, my body tightened up. I inhaled sharply and my brows furrowed. His concerned eyes had caught mine and my reaction. I saw him put two and two together, but to be honest, it was like I was watching from underwater. Irri was exploring a different side? Irri was with a woman? And she lied... She lied to Amir about me. She purposefully excluded me, which meant she didn't want me to know about this. I looked intently, and that's when I really did lose it. Irri was there, looking gorgeous as fuck, with some bitch pawing at her body while they made out. Her hair was messed up in that way that could only come about by intensely making out and she was covered by a light sheen of sweat. Her skirt clung to her ass in the most delicious way. Irri was making out with a girl. A sharp, deep, white hot burn formed in the pit of my stomach as I tried to calmly walk over. She had lied to me. What. The. Fuck. ***** From Irri's Eyes: The woman I was kissing was all over me and I liked it. I really fucking liked it. My body was on fire and I was wet while we frenched on the dance floor... But I started to feel a persistent tapping on my shoulder. I broke apart from the kiss, and looked up, my eyelashes fluttering. SHIT. I wasn't imagining it. It was Bee, and she looked angry. Angry in a way that I hadn't seen in a long time. I observed her outfit. Stray hair framed her face and my eyes dropped to her cleavage just for a moment. Was she on a date? Who had she been with? Bee just looked at me, dark eyes boring into mine and I felt a cold guilt wash over my turned on body and my drunken haze. My heart pounded wildly while looking at her, and I glanced over to Amir only to see him shrugging apologetically. Okay. My mind raced. So I had lied to her. About two things. But did she really need to know about every single detail of my life? Yes we told each other most things, but we were still entitled to our privacy! Just because I was questioning, didn't mean I had to share this with her. Not until I was ready! Isn't that a part of the code or something? And yes, I did lie to Amir and thus to her about what I was up to. And for that I was sorry, really fucking sorry. I turned to the girl who I had been dancing with but she had wandered off. I sighed, at least that was taken care of. No harm, no foul. Slowly, I turned back to Bee, her eyes were still hard, her mouth in a frown. I hadn't seen her look at me like this before. Part of it was definitely anger... But there was more to it. Her eyes slowly traveled up and down my body in a way that made me feel even more flushed than I had been before. They lingered on my mouth for a moment and I instinctively bit my lip. She didn't say a word. Her hand came up slowly as she motioned towards the outside patio of the club. I was lucky, right? At least she wanted to talk to me right now. I smiled at her for a moment, thinking that things would be okay. But she just turned around without a second glance. Shit. This was not good. Her hand grabbed mine as she tugged me along like a rag-doll, there was a slight sway to her steps and her cheeks were tinged with pink. This did not bode well; we were both drunk and about to have an emotional talk. So much for a no strings attached hook up tonight. Instead, my best friend was here and that meant all the fucking strings attached in the world. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it. Losing My Balance Ch. 03 Hi everyone! As per usual, I love comments and constructive criticism, so please send them my way! A great thanks to Azure_skies for quick editing. Hope you all enjoy! ***** From Irri's Eyes: Bee was grasping my hand tightly as we maneuvered our way to the outdoor patio of the club. The patio was urban and grungy with fairy lights that blended with my drunk vision, though the haze of warm lighting did absolutely nothing for my nerves. Man, I needed another drink. I haven't royally fucked up like this in a while. I'm supposed to be more predictable and level-headed than this. Ever since that kiss with Bee, I haven't been thinking "straight". Yes, go ahead and laugh about that one. God. What a fucking night! The cold air made me shiver considering I was still warm from what had gone down in the club, and I'm not talking about the drinks. Fuck, now was not the time to be turned on. I needed to focus... Focus. Focus. Focus. I took a deep breath in and out to try and steady myself. With a blink of the eye, I was leaning back against the brick wall of the club and Bee was standing right in front of me. She effectively cornered me but I wasn't sure if it was because she wanted to interrogate me or something else... It felt possessive. Granted, she found me drunk, making out, and caught in a lie so she had some right. One thing was for sure, she looked good tonight. As in, dressed to impress. The buttons of her shirt were just high enough to make me... or whoever was looking, want more. The fairy lights provided a golden highlight for her hair. She almost looked angelic. Almost. If it weren't for the fact that she also looked pissed off as hell. It's not fair that someone could look this hot and pissed off at the same time. When I focused on her, she let go of my hand and was looking at me intensely. I hadn't even made eye contact with her because I was nervous. I felt like I shrank even smaller under her gaze, even though I already physically had to look up at her. Well, anger is better than disappointment right? Fuck. What did I get myself into? Never lie to your best friend! I don't know if there's a higher power out there but Ganesh, Jesus, Buddha... Whoever the hell is out there, please help me! ***** From Bee's Eyes: I could tell Irri was nervous, but I didn't pity her for a second. This was her fault. She fucking lied to me when we were supposed to be past this juvenile shit! This supposed safety in our relationship felt violated. Ever since the kiss, she had pulled back from me. The funny thing was that I wanted her closer to me than ever. Well now, she had no choice. I literally cornered her so she couldn't run away from me anymore. It was satisfying to be able to say that and have her right in front of me like this. I don't know if it was the drinks, our differences in heights, or my anger, but I felt a surge in power. I was towering over Irri and she was pressed against the wall. My eyes drifted over her cleavage for a moment and aside from the faint smell of cigarettes in the patio, I could also catch the scent of her perfume which was fresh as flowers but with a deeper root of something like cedarwood. And then, my eyes drifted to her lips, they were swollen from kissing. They looked soft, with hints of moisture from the shine. They were normally a light subtle rosy pink, but headed towards the redder spectrum. It looked like a combination of her rubbed off red lipstick and by how intensely she had been kissing that bitch. I could feel the blood rushing through my head as I tried to control my breathing. My heart was pounding and I just wanted to box her in and not let anyone else see her for the rest of the night. This doesn't happen between us. We've always had a safe and open dynamic... Not this knife-cutting tension. And I definitely never checked her out like this before. At least not consciously. I bit my lip and tilted my head down, meeting her eyes intently. She has beautiful hickory eyes which were so warm and almost made me want to let her off the hook. Especially with that worried and vulnerable expression: she's my damn weak spot. She looked adorably sexy when she was nervous. It was like she was trying to keep herself from squirming and her shallow breathing had my eyes drifting to her chest... I bit my lip harder. Snap out of it Bee. This is not the time. No wonder she got picked up by that bitch. Anyone would have been on her in seconds. I was probably freaking her out from all of this blatant staring. My drunk thoughts were out of control and getting away from the point! Irri owed me an explanation and it wasn't just about tonight. This was about how she had been acting the past few weeks. Let her aspiring legal mind dig her way out of this one: I wanted answers and I was going to get them. When I spoke, my voice came out low, controlled, albeit a bit rough, "First of all, it was fucking stupid that you didn't tell me about whatever brought this on because you know I'm there for you one hundred percent. It feels like you didn't trust me at all AND you pulled Amir into it by lying to him about me. But, I'm going to give you a chance to explain yourself...And I'm not just talking about what happened tonight, you know you owe it to me." "Bee... I know I didn't handle things well...But when you say that this isn't just about tonight... do you mean about our kiss as well?" I saw a hint of panic before Irri glanced away from me, which wasn't how I wanted her to respond to that. It was like she was embarrassed about it when she had absolutely no reason to be. But, I was finally glad that she brought it up... and kind of hummed with pleasure that we had shared a kiss. That's concerning. Involuntarily, my fingers reached out and curled underneath her chin, bringing her eyes back to me. I don't know what it was, but standing with her and looking at her like this brought out a side of me that usually doesn't come out. I tried to ignore how smooth her skin felt under my fingers and the fact that they wanted to cup her face. Again, this felt different: we felt different. In general, I'm not a very serious person unless it's called upon in the situation. And it takes a lot to really make me angry. But now, it felt like there was an intensity that I had never felt under these circumstances. A burn, and it wasn't just throughout my body. "I'm not talking specifically about the kiss... our kiss... but after it happened, you pulled back," I emphasized, looking at her directly. I knew she was trying to play dumb (which is hilarious considering how smart she is) as soon as the next words tumbled from her mouth, "What do you mean?" "I know you think you're so smooth when you avoid talking about yourself and try to make me talk about myself... but news flash; I don't actually fall for that..." I said, as my eyes drifted over her face. She seemed at a loss for words. At least now she wasn't looking away. Those eyes gave me the calm I needed. "...Irri, I let you get away with it because I figure that when you're ready, you'll come and talk to me. Not push me away or lie to me, but freakin' talk to me!" She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and then met mine again. I didn't realize how close we were standing, one of my hands was resting against the wall, as she pressed herself against the wall. It was as if we both needed the extra support. Her voice was low, "Bee... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lie to you. And I know I shouldn't be surprised that you know my tricks with how I deal with things. I've just been... confused lately. And I didn't want to confuse you along with me." Despite being frustrated, I let out a short laugh of disbelief, shaking my head, "Irri! For someone so smart you can be kind of dumb! If anyone knew anything about confused sexuality... I think I would be number one on your list!" ***** From Irri's Eyes: I blushed hard. Fuck, she didn't get the whole point. It also didn't help that she had practically boxed me in against the wall. It was intoxicating. Everything about Bee... Her smile, her smell, and her body being so close to mine. I'm too fucking drunk and weak for this. And, to top it off, it was combined with this searing look on her face that made me want to just crumble underneath her. She had never looked at me like that, in fact she rarely ever looks like that. This is why I didn't want her here... How could I possibly look at other women if she was here? Bee wasn't someone to experiment on or in front of. She's the one who's seen me ugly cry, the one who will veg out with me and not judge me when I look like a wreck, who's laughed with me until I snorted out milk. I can't go there. It's not an option. It's not. Bee's eye's were searching mine, "Irri? You were zoning out on me again..." Her hand cupped my face, she looked worried now. Jeez, even when she's pissed off at me, she still cares about every little fucking thing I'm feeling. It took everything I had not to close my eyes and lean into her caress. I lightly gripped her wrist and gave her an encouraging smile, "I know I should have gone to you about this. But... I don't know, after I kissed you, I didn't want you to think that I was confused about our friendship, about us." Bee's smile faltered. See? I knew that she would have been worried about me wanting to kiss her! When she grinned, it didn't quite reach her eyes, "Well if I had thought you were confused about us, then you making out with that vulture would have cleared that up, huh?" I wanted it to reach her eyes. I wanted to make her laugh so I put on my best mock glare and narrowed my eyes, "Well you weren't supposed to see that, and anyway if she's a vulture, are you implying that I'm a carcass for the picking?" Bee's eyes had a twinkle in them but instead of just laughing, she smirked. She moved both of her hands on the wall behind me, which made me press back against the wall more to try and create a little more space for her to stand. Bee let her eyes run slowly up and down my body that created more body heat than I thought I had. It was as if she was looking past my clothes and at my body. She then drawled out, "You're certainly not a carcass, but something else for the picking..." My cheeks flamed red "You asshole!" I pushed at her shoulder, trying to move her away. "You just wanted to make me blush..." She grinned and laughed loudly, "I didn't think you'd be this easy!" I scowled at her, "I'm anything BUT easy lady." Bee wiggled her eyebrows at me, " Oh it's true, you're a difficult one Irri...but the evidence from tonight contradicts that Ms. Lawyer in Training!" Groaning loudly, I poked Bee in the side, "Why do you keep bringing that up anyway? You're fixated on it! And hey...We never even talked about what YOU were doing here!" Now Bee was the one who blushed, along with a squirm from my poke, "Well it looked like you were having fun... Besides, I'm the one doing the interrogating here!" I shook my head, "Yeah, you've been playing big bad wolf tonight! That woman probably thought you were my jealous girlfriend with the look you had on your face!" Bee just shrugged and avoided my eye contact for a moment, which let me actually take a full breath. And I'm not implying that the presence of my best friend would make me breathless. Okay, I totally am: so sue me. She waved her hand in the air and said loftily, "Girlfriend-shmirlfriend, this is the sacred bond of FRIENDSHIP. But maybe I felt a little possessive anyway..." her head tipped down, catching my eyes. It seemed like they were pleading me to pick up what she was saying, to listen to her. It's this look that I know with Bee when she wants to share something but needs some coaxing from me. Everything felt serious again, that feeling where you can't help but suck in your breath at the intensity... The look in her eyes was like she was reaching for me. I was going to meet her halfway. There was tension too thick for a knife to cut, it needed a fucking machete if anything. I grasped the hand that she had been waving, entwining my fingers with hers and held it to me, lowering my voice, "In what way?" Bee's eyes bore into mine, searching for something even though she was completely silent. And maybe I knew what that was... "Bee..." I let out a soft breath; one that I wasn't even aware that I was holding. Bee's cheeks were rosy and she started to lean in closer to me. She hadn't said a word, and she didn't need to. Her eyes and movements were worth a novel. My heart beat felt like it was stumbling over itself. My eyes were drawn to her mouth. Those mouth watering lips that she had just licked. Lips that I had kissed once before, and ones that I had dreamt about kissing. My whole body felt like it was tingling from the tips of my toes to the goose bumps on my arms. Tilting my head forward, my hand reached and curled around the nape of her neck. Her skin was hot, but I wasn't sure if the heat radiated from my hand or from her skin. I was now short of breath. It felt like time had frozen, that we were under water and all I could hear was the sound of my own pulse racing. Our mouths were close enough that I could taste her breath... A mix of alcohol and her favorite mints, I shivered. In all the years we had known each other, I had never felt my heart beat like this with her. Bee's eyes were locked onto mine and she raised an eyebrow ever so slightly, needing my reassurance to meet her halfway. Of course Bee would be the embodiment of chivalry, even in this situation. I nodded and a small smile tugged at my lips despite my pounding heart. Is it possible to be this on edge but feel so damn safe at the same time? As I was about to feel her lips on mine, Bee suddenly leaned back and stepped away. I blinked rapidly and almost banged my head on the wall from Bee's quick movements. Behind her, was a short woman with a shock of red hair who was clearly oblivious to personal space. And even more maddeningly, she had invaded OUR space. My eyes narrowed and my jaw clenched. Bee's face filled with a mild panic as the woman pushed her way to see me. "You're Irri right?" She slurred, gripping Bee's hand and leaning into her. "I was hoping I'd get a chance to meet you! Elizabeth, I mean Bee..." She grinned and winked at MY best friend," ...talked about you at dinner!" Who the fuck was this? And Bee had dinner with her? That meant that I was fucking right about her being on a date. And she had neglected to tell me that fact. So Bee had been on a date, and she was angry at me for being out here without telling her? She hadn't even told me that she was dating again since the last girl she was with! Well, talk about NOT talking about things. I felt a searing heat in my stomach as I glared at the woman who had just interrupted what was about to happen. Biting my lip hard, I managed to pluck a few words from the rage in my stomach, "Hi there, nice to meet you. I don't think I got your name though.." I tried a smile which probably looked more like a grimace. She smiled happily and started babbling on about her name and how Bee should have told me but apparently she forgave her because Bee was so cute and a great dancer and FUCK she talked a lot... I did not have the attention span to listen to this. The reality was that Bee had omitted the fact that she had been on a date tonight. And, we had almost... YOU KNOW... while she was on a date with someone else! I noticed that Bee had kind of shrunk back behind Dana and now she was the one who couldn't keep eye contact. She took out her phone while Dana continued to blabber on and started to text someone. What a fucking coward! And she couldn't even make the effort to look me in the eye. Instead, she was texting someone! Maybe it was a good thing that Dana had interrupted when she did. This was clearly a mistake. CLEARLY. See? This is why I didn't tell Bee, it just confused things between us. We had separate realms when it came to these things, that's part of being best friends. You don't mix business and pleasure. It just leads to embarrassment on both sides. I mean, it wasn't her fault that this had happened. We both drank tonight and each messed up in our own ways. If anything, it was a good reassurance that we're better off keeping these separate realms. Alright, alright, I'll stop being a chicken and actually say it. It's better to not start anything romantic with her. Even if I was ready for a relationship, we weren't a good fit for each other. See? I'm mature. I can handle this. No more confusion about me and this coward. And now, it was time to make my escape! I was pretty sure Bee would see past this ruse, but I wasn't in the mood to stick around and listen to Dana any longer. And, at this point, who cares what she thought anyway? I just wanted this night to end. I took out my phone to pretend that Amir had texted me and wanted to go home. The strange part was that Amir had literally just texted me telling me that he hoped I had a good rest of the night and that I worked things out with Bee AND to call him tomorrow. My head shot up. What the fuck? Why did he text as if he had already left? Also, how did he know that she and I had things to work out? Slowly my eyes went to Bee's, but she was already explaining to Dana that my ride had already left (without a word from me) and that she was going to give me a ride home. Bee apologized to Dana for cutting the night short, gave Dana a one armed hug, and grabbed my hand to pull me towards the back exit of the patio. I was in disbelief. First, the coward doesn't tell me she's on a date. Then, she uses said date with said date's incessant talking to text MY brother and get him to go home; effectively forcing me to get a ride with her when all I wanted to do was get into my bed and pretend that none of this had happened. Well, if Bee thought she could pretend that things were fine and dandy then she would be in for surprise. I would not be the person who had almost shared a kiss with her. Maybe I should thank Dana for reminding me that this was not the best idea... and it wasn't because I was jealous of Dana. Not. One. Bit. I'm not gonna need luck on this one, everything is just peachy. Losing My Balance Ch. 04 Dear Readers, I definitely suggest reading the other installments before this or I'll look like a crazy person ;) Hope you all enjoy, and please send feedback/comments/constructive criticism, adds more fuel to writing the story and I enjoy it! And thanks to my speedy editor Azure_skies! ****** From Irri's Eyes: Bee knew better than to try and talk to me as we walked to the car. How great is it to be mad at someone when they know you really well? It's not. It's not great at all. They know exactly how to handle you, so all you can do is to stew in frustration. You can be sure that I wasn't going to bring it up first! That was her job. Yet, she knew that I would be too angry to have a real conversation right now. Instead, we were sitting in silence. See? She's already less petty than me. She was open and genuine when talking to me at the club, while I can't even say a word to her right now. The only thing I was capable of asking was, "Are you okay to drive?" She responded back with a tight smile and a nod. As we sat in the car, she made no efforts to get me to talk. This gave me time to lament. A lot of time. Even though I had decided, after what happened, that anything romantic or physical between us was the wrong direction, it didn't change the events of the evening. She tried to kiss me while on a date with someone else! And she didn't tell me she was on a date when I asked why she was there. I know she's of the spontaneous stock, but it's common sense not to do that to people. Especially your best friend. Your best friend deserves to know this kind of shit, not to mention, a whole freaking date to herself! I mean, if things were headed in that direction. And we weren't. Like I said, there will be nothing romantic or sexual between us. Before you ask, no she does not get a part in this decision. As this night goes to show, she doesn't always make the best moral decisions. Bee pulled up to a fast food drive-through and ordered some of our favorite drunchie food without asking. She also paid for the whole cost without a word to me. The nerve of that suck up! She was trying to bribe me with curly fries. Well, it wasn't working: not one bit! I begrudgingly ate some of the fries and handed her some while she drove. I do have to admit, fries are my ultimate sobering food. It's the starch and the fact that you eat them one by one. It steadies you. I tried to ignore the smug smile that flitted across her face as she saw me eating the fries. The gall of her! This was earning her no points. Also, it's not helpful to have a gorgeous best friend. Who signed me up for this? The window was open and Bee's stray hairs fell over her neck in a way that made me want to sweep them away and then kiss her neck. Kiss it? No, no, AND no. Bad girl, I chastised myself. This whole damn night was full of frustration: sexuality frustration, sexual frustration, annoying-little-red-heads-who-interrupt-and-weren't-even-that-pretty frustration. Damn it, I am not jealous. I blame everything on Bee. Sitting in the car on the way to my house, the cool wind rushed through the car, and the hum of the radio seemed to crackle with my mood. When we finally arrived, instinct told me to invite her in but everything else said fuck no. Yes it was because I was angry with her, but it also didn't seem smart to invite her when I had a big bed to add as an additional elephant to the room: like we needed anymore! But it was late, and usually she would spend the night. Whatever, I have no obligation to invite her in! Things had changed in a matter of a few hours between us, but it could get back to normal if I just handled it in the right way. ***** From Bee's Eyes: I know she wouldn't want to invite me in as per usual. And I understood it... I fucked up. I was on a date with someone else and then I tried to... Well, I tried to kiss my best friend. My platonic best friend. I couldn't help it though, in that moment. Everything in me, my whole body was pushing me to do it. And besides, throw in some drinks and that's what you get. My deepest darkest desires? Who the fuck knows? And worse off, I had been on a date and purposefully not told her. How could I help it though? When I had stood in front of Irri, everything faded away. All I saw was the pout on her lips, at being caught in a lie, the way her chest moved when she took a breath... She was everything, and everything else just drew a blank. The blabber mouth date with the worst timing included. I admit it: it was a sneaky move to text Amir before Irri had a chance to leave with him. And, I let Dana talk her ear off to accomplish it which was probably even worse. But, it was also the smartest thing to do given the fact that she was ready to run away from me. It had never been like that before, sure we had gotten into a few big arguments, but we usually battled it out till we were exhausted and had to say sorry. We needed this chance to talk, and I had just done what was necessary to make that happen. Irri got out of the car without a word. I quickly shut off my car and followed her to make sure that she wasn't running away from me again. She speed walked to her door, and I took large strides right behind her. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, I was gifted with the view of her ass and hips as she walked. I had to suck in a breath just to steady myself. Did her hips always have that sway? The way she walked exuded sex... Woah, from a kiss to sex? I'm way too ahead of myself. We reached her porch, and Irri in her rush, dropped her keys. My jaw also instinctively dropped when she went to pick up her keys. The fabric of her skirt tightened around her ass. My hands tingled with the thought of reaching out and grabbing her hips... Even stepping up behind her and feeling her against me. I shivered. This was not good. Usually I had more willpower than this; I needed to stop thinking dirty enough to have a real conversation. By this time, Irri had turned around and was looking at me with a wry expression, "I knew it; this skirt does make my ass look too big." I dry coughed and hung my head, avoiding her eyes but unable to avoid giving myself away, "It's not that..." I murmured. Her skin flushed as she realized what I meant. My eyes met hers again and I watched her trying to compose herself. "Irri," I said quietly. Instantly, she tried to cut me off, "I think we should just talk tomorrow, it's been a long night and..." I took a step forward while she pressed her back to her door. "Let me at least say something Irri," I raised my voice a little. I didn't move closer to her as much as I wanted to. I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself if we were touching. This was too much like the situation at the club. First I had to corner her to get some answers out and now I had to corner her to apologize and figure this shit out. She raised her chin to me defiantly," You had all of the car ride to say something and you didn't! Better yet, you could have just told me while we were at the club Bee!" I had to choke down a laugh, "If I had brought this up in the car, you wouldn't have listened and you know it! You were way too angry!" She just glared at me, "And whose fault is that?" I sighed, this bitch. She was trying to "logic" me into a corner. We weren't even getting to the real issue. She was just trying to frustrate the hell out of me so she could escape into her house. Too damn bad for her that I know her better than that! "Irri, you can try all you want to make this about that, but I'm going to get out what I need to say," I took a quick breath before she could interrupt me. "I should have told you that I was on a date, and I shouldn't have tried to... tried to do anything with you while I was on said date. You of all people don't deserve that! But in that moment, and this is no excuse, but I wasn't thinking clearly..." I hung my head. I was at a loss of words. How do you explain to your best friend that they were driving you crazy? That in that moment, the only thing you had wanted in the damn world was to kiss them. To kiss Irri hard and possessively in a way that wasn't friend-like at all. To make her forget that she had kissed someone else that night. I lifted my eyes and saw Irri chewing on her lip nervously. Her hands were clenched into fists and she stood in a resolute stance. She started out quietly in a way that made me ache, "Maybe it was a good thing that it didn't happen." I don't think I could hide the expression on my face when she said that. Her eyes were dark and solemn, maybe it was my imagination, but they looked sad. I stuttered out, completely caught off guard, "You can't mean that." Irri shrugged and drew her eyes away from mine, "Can't I? I mean two best friends?" She smiled bitterly, "We all know how the story goes Bee. It doesn't end well for either. We don't even know what this is between us, and for me, it's not worth the risk of our friendship." I was again at a loss of what to say. It sounded like she was talking herself into this and trying to do the same to me. But everything she was saying gave her more confidence. She wasn't pressed back against the door now, she inched closer to me. Her smooth and soft hand reached for my cheek and I let her cup it. The light feathery feeling of her fingers made my skin tingle at the same time that I was aching inside. What a fucking paradox. I looked her straight in the eyes, "So what then? We just pretend that there's nothing between us?" Her fingers stroked down my cheek and I resisted the urge to press into her touch, "Whether it's just a physical attraction or something more... It's not a good idea. Besides, nothing is permanent, right?" She offered up a weak smile, "Before we know it, you'll have hooked your next girl and I'll probably be an out bi-sexual." I steeled my voice, "That's really what you want? To pretend that we're just two best friends with a platonic relationship until we find other people in the mean time? How well did that work out for Alice and Dana?" My mind had jumped to the L Word. Irri had watched that with me during our third year of college, maybe now it made even more sense that she had enjoyed it so much. Irri grinned at the reference, though her eyes looked remorseful. Her hand dropped from my cheek to my shoulder, "Well, we're acknowledging that there's something here, whether it's temporary or not, and choosing not to act on it. And I'd say we have a bit more will power than a couple of crazy sex fiends." It felt like my temperature raised a couple of degrees when Irri referenced us and sex together. I had to push back the dirty thoughts to the dark recesses of my mind. In the meantime, me being hurt wasn't getting any results. Irri was even more confident because she was in the role of supportive best friend. She was used to that role with me and wasn't showing herself to be as off kilter as I knew she MUST be feeling. So with that, I went with a different strategy to put her in a place that she wasn't used to. I moved my body closer to hers now. Our bodies were millimeters apart and I could feel the heat radiating off of her skin. She looked up at me with an eyebrow raised. While she knew that I was up to something, who's to say she would stop me? And who's to say that she would WANT to stop me? I tipped my head down so that our faces were closer together. I could see the faint tint of pink across her golden brown complexion at this angle. It was intoxicating to even be playing with her like this. My voice was husky when I whispered, "If that's really what you want, I'll go with it. For YOU. But if we're deciding this right now, tomorrow's the clean slate. I want what you promised me earlier this night." Her eyes flashed up at me and a slow spreading grin seeped through my face. ***** From Irri's Eyes: I had done it. I had put a stop to whatever was happening between as much as I wanted to indulge in more with her. But now here she was with me, showing a side that I knew was there but personally never had any experience with. She was using her honeyed voice and height to try and persuade me, but I couldn't show her that it was working. So, I tried for humor. "I didn't promise you anything lady!" I looked up her indignantly, with a smile plastered on my face, "You didn't even buy me dinner, Dana should be the one who owes you something!" It wasn't working. Bee's arm slowly snaked around me. She wrapped it around my waist and now our bodies were pressed up against each other as we faced each other. I wanted to let out a gasp of air at the feeling. As opposed to when we were cuddling in bed, this had an air of raw desire. This wasn't a PG friends touch. It felt sinfully good. Her body was so soft against mine; it seemed to fit perfectly alongside my curves. The heat of her skin almost caused me to break out in a cold sweat. My heart was pounding. Out on the street, it was dark save a few street lamps. And there I was, on my porch, pressed up against my best friend. It felt like we were the only ones in the world. I tried to will myself to not get turned on. Despite it all, my nipples hardened when I felt her skin against mine, and a delicious throb seemed to possess my body. It's as if I was a rock under the sun, and she was creating heat from the outside that worked all the way to my insides. The strands of hair framed her face perfectly, and my porch light created almost a halo effect. It was wrong because she looked anything but angelic. Her cheekbones made me just want to lean in and kiss each one of them, and then press my face into her long neck and stay there for a long long time. I didn't know what to do with myself... or her; I had never seen her like this before. She had never talked to me like this before and it was driving me crazy. Bee's words were silky and heated, "That's not going to work with me Irri. You promised me something earlier when you said my name and pulled my head to yours... When you licked your lips and looked at my lips." I could feel her hot breath against my own lips now, and all I could imagine was the feeling of them against mine. It was like I couldn't catch my breath. My chest rose and fell shallowly as Bee's eyes bore into mine, "I'm not asking you for anything else. Are you going to give me at least that much before we start pretending?" Bee's eyes now drifted to my lips, the only way I could respond was with a visceral shiver. Despite my best efforts to resist, I pushed my body against hers. I loved feeling her skin against mine. Her voice had lowered to a pitch that I hadn't heard before. It was unfamiliar but familiar at the same time. Dangerous but comfortable. Then, she really drove me crazy. She tipped her head sideways, broke the distance between us, and flicked her tongue over my bottom lip. It was this hint of warmth and wetness for just a second that made me come undone. I let out a mewl in response. It was like tipping over a row of dominoes. Bee shoved me against the door at the same my fingers tangled in her hair, nails against her scalp as I pulled her face to mine. Our lips crushed each other and we kissed hungrily. I could feel it throughout my body, through my fucking bones. Bee's lips were as silky as her words. The sharpness of her teeth as she nipped my lip was possessive. Her tongue teased mine as it slipped into my mouth, and the only thing I could do was tug at her hair and pull her closer... meeting her with full force back. I was flat against the cold wood of my door and she pinned herself against me. My body writhed and pushed itself onto her: it was almost too much to handle. When Bee moaned into my mouth, I could feel it all the way down to my pussy. I was fucking soaked from her touch, the feel of her body against mine, and the sound of her moans. Man, woman, it didn't matter... It was just her and me. And she invaded my bloodstream like nothing else before. ***** I wouldn't stop kissing her willingly. I never wanted it to end. The only thing that stopped us was the pesky need to breathe. When we finally broke the head fuck embrace, I was panting into Irri's neck. My face pressed against it and I just breathed her scent in. There were two things running through my head. 1. She had to see that this was worth exploring, whatever it was. Even if it was just temporary. 2. Who has she been kissing? She's fucking mind-blowing... Irri's forehead was resting on my shoulder as I nuzzled her neck. Our bodies were still tightly pressed against one another. Hers felt delicious under mine, those curves, God, those curves. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to ask her the next question, but she's my best friend and I need to respect her boundaries. I would show her that I could be mature about this. Slowly, I moved my head so that we were face to face and smiled wryly, "You sure about what you said before?" Irri's cheeks were flushed. Her lips were darker and swollen from my kisses (instead of that bitch at the club) and I couldn't help but feel a swell of happiness at that. I could only imagine what she looked like the morning after. I bet it was fucking radiant. Her eyes were so rich, full of a current of thoughts and worries that I wanted to brush away. When Irri spoke, her voice was a bit rusty, "Even more sure... That was really really dangerous Bee..." I tried to lighten the mood, "Well I do like living on the edge," I smiled wiggling my eyebrows. I then tried to talk to her more seriously, "We can do what you said Irri, I'll respect it. You know I would do anything for you and our friendship... But it's going to be hard if not impossible to pretend that whatever this is, doesn't exist. Especially after that kiss you stud, you." Irri exhaled a quiet breath and a smile pulled at her lips, "You're the stud after that kiss! And I know. I know it's going to be hard, but I think we can do it. Who's to say it won't fade anyway?" I nodded, trying to make light of the disappointment I felt. "Is it against the rules if I flirt with you?" She smiled tightly, "Totally against the rules you dork." I mock sighed and then tipped my head to kiss her cheek softly. It was a light touch, because I knew I was going to have to watch myself now, or at least try to. I exhaled a breath, "Well, you better get inside then before I ravish you." Irri shivered for a second at the jest and I smiled to myself... Maybe a little flirting might go a long way. I don't know if I could pretend as well as she could. Lawyers in training could be good enough liars, but if this thing is something we couldn't fight, why waste all of our energy on that? I'll put a little towards flirting. She then put her hands on my shoulders and lightly pushed me off of her, letting out another deep breath, "You sure you don't want to come in Bee?" She added a warning tone, "JUST to sleep?" I full out grinned, this could be fun. "I'm sure oh grumpy one! I'll see you soon?" She smiled sweetly, "Yes asshole, you will." That's my girl. I mean my best friend: that's my best friend...