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Junky Chronicles

By: SAbitch



Prologue

She had been one of the lucky ones; it never really happened in anyone's lifetime but Natalie Scott had found love twice in her life. Two amazing woman that loved her without any prejudice as to who she was, but for all that she was. It was through those tough times in her life, she had always made herself the worse version of herself and these two amazing woman, somehow brought out the best version of herself. When life had done everything it could to bring Natalie to her knees, in these women she had found strength, as if they had built a staircase from the ditch of life to help her climb right into the light. They had restored all her faith, when she had fallen into the deepest pit of despair. She had the thought, as she sat there watching the woman she loved, how when she fell, that very woman had picked her up teaching her the steps of life. From crawling, to walking, to running and eventually she had learnt that with love as the wind beneath her wings she could fly. 

Her life had taken a complete turn, and it had only taken thirteen minutes and thirty-six seconds to leave her shattered. All that she had ever cared for in her life, wiped out like it had never existed. It slipped away between her fingers. Like they say, "It takes a lifetime to build a life, but only a second to be destroyed." For two years, Natalie had spent every waking hour, trying her best to forget it, to erase it from her mind, but has learnt that remembering heals those scars. Natalie had spent a lifetime trying to destroy those seconds, but life had different plans for her. The universe had somehow heard her hidden cries for help, and had sent a guiding light, no, an angel to her, one to help her through all the darkness that seemed to surround her. She had realized over time, there was nothing that she would have changed for what she had today. In the strangest way, happiness had found her and given her what she needed the most. 

As she watched her beautiful wife, who had given her so much playing out back with their kids, she thought about it over and over. What if that night never happened? Would her life be so much different now? But looking into Ashley's eyes at any moment of the day, completely changed her outlook of it. There aren't many people who would have believed that what had happened to Natalie was real. It sounded like fiction to most. But she eventually had her happy ending. She was more mature now, older as well, with the world's most beautiful woman as her wife, and three amazing children. She had been given the chance to share her story with the world. She had a whole world of love, happiness and truth. She couldn't forget it, and she would never regret it. And now that she thought back on it how could she? 

Chapter One:28 June 2006

Natalie spent three weeks in the hospital, two of those weeks in a coma with machines attached to every available part of her body monitoring her condition. The heart monitor beeped with every beat of her heart. The ventilator made pumping sounds echoed as it pumped oxygen into her lungs. They monitored her blood pressure and her brain activity with electrodes attached to her head, and nurses came in an out every few minutes to check on her and the monitors, scribbling all the data down on a chart. The rise and fall of her chest could be seen clearly even though she wasn't breathing on her own. Tiny black screens displayed her brain activity and heart rate, each depicting a graph like form, like investments that continuously changed, in green lines, her heart rate set at a steady pace of 80 beats per minute. 

Natalie's eyes opened slowly, as she looked around the room. A needle punctured her arm that had a flow of cold white liquid running through her veins. She looked above her at the source of the cool liquid coming from a drip. Her vision was blurred and she struggled to focus on what was around her, like watching television with bad reception. The room was cold and pure white from the roof, to the walls, right down to the floors. Windows stretched wide along the wall, bringing the sun into the room, making everything too bright for Natalie's eyes as she attempted to adjust to her surroundings. On her arm was a band with her details that she could hardly make out. Blue sheets covered her body; her head was elevated high with the use of pillows. The clean scent of detergent and that distinctive scent of how a hospital would smell, filled her nostrils burning right down to her throat. The noises surrounded her, people scurrying by with their rubber shoes squeaking on the floor, the beeping of the machines and the cries of pain here and there, had her head spinning and pounding, trying to wrap her mind around everything. Natalie closed her eyes, trying to figure out how she ended up here, the reason she was here, with all these machines hooked up to her. She tried to sit up and a chill started running through her, with the next thought being her wife. Where was she, why wasn't she here? Natalie thought as she looked around opening her mouth to shout, but realized nothing came out. 

Her heart rate spiked as dread filled her. Something was wrong. She could feel it creeping through her. Nurses came rushing in shouting orders at one another. A larger looking nurse pushed her down to control her, but she fought to be released. She felt something pull at her chest, as if a jagged knife was being dragged through her. She opened her mouth to scream, but once more, nothing came out. As a cold burning sensation went through her, she felt herself relax, then she looked up into a light and could of sworn she saw herself hovering right there above her body, and then there was darkness.

When she finally came to again, whatever had been constricting her throat was now gone, allowing her to breathe on her own. Everything was still coming in and out of focus, but the room was dimmer now. She could still hear the beeping of the machines that echoed around the stillness of the room. Surrounding her were several strange faces, studying her as she looked around the room. Strong pulses like little jolts of electricity ran through every nerve on her body, making her pull stiff and relax alternately. The pulsing stopped as soon as it began. Voices and shuffling started to fill the silence, as Natalie's mind still couldn't make sense of anything happening around her. Nothing in her could focus long enough to take in her full surroundings, picking up pieces here and there. The same cold burn from earlier filled her veins she tried her best to keep her eyes open but couldn't fight it. Her eyes dropped and all there was, was the earlier darkness she had a chance to say one thing, one word drifted from her lips in a slow murmur, "Megan" 

Natalie came around slowly again. She waited a few moments, listening before she opened her eyes. She knew she was awake this time, but sensed there would be more surprises when she opened her eyes this time around. There was a quietness that surrounded her, as only the sound of the machines filled her mind now. Figuring she was alone she opened her eyes and to her surprise there stood, what she could figure, were doctors in white lab coats, all taking notes watching her, watching the machines, monitoring. A gentleman that looked to be in his forties, with his hair combed back and graying in between the brown, noticed that Natalie was awake, tapping another gentleman on the shoulder, and whispered into his ear. 

Natalie guessed it was to make him aware as his eyes suddenly fell on her face. The sounds hadn't changed around her much, but they weren't as disturbing as they were earlier. The older gentleman with a full head of grey hair, lines on his face of age and laughing lines at the corners of his eyes, moved closer. He placed his fingers at the curves of Natalie's eyes, flashing a bright light that had her flinching, into her eyes. "She is responsive" was all he said not really looking at her as his eyes darted to the monitors. Natalie looked at him and then turned her head to where another voice came. The voice was soft, and calm, "No one do anything" she said, even though it was soft, Natalie heard a subtle command in her voice. "Heart rate, stable, brain, full alert waves" a different doctor said from across the room, Natalie closed her eyes taking slow deep breaths, as a shadow fell over her face. She looked up at the soft spoken doctor with a sweet smile on her face. "I'm sorry, but where am I?" Her voice sounded distant and eerie. Natalie couldn't believe it had come from her, not from her throat she thought. 

The pretty doctor tucked a loose strand of blond hair behind her ear. A comforting sweet smile spread across her face. Even though Natalie was pretty sure she wasn't thinking straight, but for sure she knew that she had an amazing smile, clear blue eyes staring down at her, had her trusting this woman without knowing anything about her. It was filled with control, kindness and understanding. Her voice seemed to push a wave of calm over Natalie. When she placed her hand over Natalie's hand to start her introduction, Natalie felt off edge. It was as if something was wrong but couldn't figure it out. What had she missed? How long had she been here? And most importantly again, why wasn't her wife here? Natalie remained as calm as possible as she darted her eyes around the room and back at the blue eyed doctor. Her voice was weak, tension lying beneath the surface, her voice quivering with fear.

"You're in the hospital. I am Doctor Simons," she said, pointing to her right where a dark haired man stood with that same charming smile and calming, kind demeanor. His spectacles hung low on his nose, as he lifted his eyes at her. He nodded as she introduced him as Dr Cliff. Natalie shook her head slightly trying to take in everything she said, but still not finding the true meaning behind her words, there was something else that just wasn't making sense to Natalie, "I don't understand. Why am... Why am I here?" Natalie was speaking to herself, her voice weak while she stuttered over her words, thinking out loud, not realizing the answer would come to her in a simple one tone way. "You've been shot. Your body went into such shock you fell into a coma. This is the second time in two weeks you've woken up, but after you woke up initially your struggle caused the staples to tear out of the wound. We had to replace them," she smiled again, trying to make it seem like it wasn't the end of the world, but the smile didn't reach her eyes as she gave the news. Her face was serious again. This was what she did for a living, saving lives and bearing bad news. 

Natalie's body tensed as every muscle in her body retracted into its own, as the memory of what had happened flooded into her mind, "My wife! Where is my wife?" her voice raised to a scream as she tried to lift herself from the bed. She had half risen when something pulled at her causing Natalie pain, but it didn't matter. She needed to get to her, but with each movement Natalie flinched with pain. Her heart rate went up. Her brain activity shot into an unusual combination as panic and distress swallowed her. 

"Natalie, please calm down. We don't want you to lapse again," Dr Simons told her as her hands wrapped around Natalie's shoulder and as if she weighed nothing but the weight of a feather, she was flat on her back staring at the ceiling. 

Dr Cliff injected something into her drip building a ocean of calm around her. Dr Simons lifted the hospital gown they had dressed her in. Natalie glanced down a bandage covered her chest, blood seeping through it. "I hope she didn't tear the staples again." Dr. Simons barked orders to another doctor, that didn't say much but nodded and left the room. Looking up at the beautiful doctor, "I'm going to open the bandages to see if the staples are okay so lie still." She unwrapped the bandage and sighed with relief, Natalie looked at her, unable to find her voice, but as if the question was right in her eyes "The staples are okay, but out of fear of you tearing them out again, I have to put you in a sleep induced come to prevent any further damage. So I'm going to inject you with a sedative," she looked into Natalie's eyes with great sadness in hers as she injected the drip into Natalie's veins, the cold liquid filling her, her brain began to fog, with the last thought being, "why were her eyes so sad?"  

Chapter Two:01 January 2000

Natalie dreamt of that day. That day where her heart had only begun to beat. New Years Day, 2000 - it was warm and sunny outside, from what they had heard, but they didn't bother to investigate. Instead they sat around a table at Spur. Natalie's friends surrounding her after having celebrated all night long into the new year. Natalie's best friend Kaz, the beautiful Alice, the oh-so-muscular Devon, his quirky partner Michelle, the funny Mia and Jess, Mia's partner. They were all in hysteria of laughter, loud enough to be heard at the other end of the room. Getting several dirty looks from other patrons, but they weren't bothered. Whatever was said, and whoever had said it, it was way too funny to stop. Every single one of them had tears in their eyes. Beside her, Natalie felt Mia tremble as the laughter rolled through her, shaking her like a jackhammer on the road. Her long, dark blonde hair tied in a tight high ponytail, whipped from one side to the other. Those dark brown eyes pressed shut, with a perfect wide grin on her face. Her tiny body was almost folded over the table with those small delicate hands in fists at her side in pain from all the laughter, and still not being able to stop. She was always well toned in her arms and shoulders, as her green t-shirt hugged her body perfectly, her skin tight jeans shaping her perfectly toned legs. She was as fit as a star athlete, in the form of a young woman. A beautiful one that Natalie had admired but never really felt anything towards. 

Beside her Jess was shaking her head trying her best to gain a little composure, to no avail. With her short brown hair that spiked straight on her head, filled with so much product even though her head was in a riot against the world around her, it didn't move an inch. The white tank top stretched across her toned body. The white surrounding her pale blue irises were bloodshot as if she were in total shock, her full mouth open trying to catch her breath. Her denim shorts hugged her thighs, shaping her tanned thighs that led to perfectly toned legs, as she reached for Mia's hand to squeeze it in between hers. 

Kaz was the only colored and straight girl in this psycho group of friends, and most importantly Natalie's best friend in the whole world. Midnight black hair, cut short in tiny little curls, her laughter reached her brown eyes with perfect white teeth behind her thin lips that sat in a grin like the joker on a deck of cards, she wore a white T-shirt falling loose over her shoulders, covering her tiny body. She was the skinniest girl Natalie had ever met, that ate a ton, and gained not a single kilogram on that body of hers. She wore a pair of jeans that shaped the ass that had grown over the years. By God's grace something grew on that girl. Natalie remembered thinking when she had seen her after a while, leading into her favorite pair of sneakers that she refused to go without into the New Year. She removed her glasses to wipe her teary eyes, before bursting out in laughter all over again. Devon and Michelle were falling over each other making it difficult to tell where one ended and the other began. Devon with his short spiky black hair, a very masculine, strong jawed face, pitch black eyes. He was large, with broad shoulders making him seem larger than life itself. He loved the atmosphere of the gym, being able to put all that energy into shaping, and maintaining what he had referred to as God's perfection. Natalie often had to use both her hands and half of Kaz's hand to circle his arms. The black T-shirt stretched tightly over that body shaping every curve of his muscles from the shape of his chest to the six pack he was proud of. Looking at him you would never guess he was such a softy, until you really got to know him. His manly legs, left bare by his khaki shorts that fit just right at his waist line. 

Michelle however was the complete opposite to Devon in the looks department. Frail and skinny, they had all wondered how the hell the relationship worked until they saw them together. It was definitely not what was on the outside that made them perfect for each other. Her blue t-shirt sat loose on that scrawny upper body, leading into the grey shorts before seeing those scrawny legs, with piercing blue eyes that could stare right into your soul when she was serious. Right now it was filled with warmth from so much joy, thin lips spread wide to let out a roar of laughter. It was evident who held control in the bedroom by the looks of Devon and Michelle, but Natalie still wondered if she was wrong, but never asked. With curls of blonde hair falling over her face as she sat up, before her signature move came off shaking it out of her face before it fell back in place over her face yet again.

Natalie looked over to Alice still laughing the loudest out of the rest of them. Natalie and Alice had known each other for years, and she held a special spot in Natalie's heart. Her long, white blonde hair fell over her very feminine face. her hazel eyes filled with as much laughter as the whole table combined. The corners of her mouth curling up slightly, her lips full flashing a smile only she knew how to pull off, her skinny body quivering so hard, with each laugh that came from deep within her. Her spaghetti strap top fitted perfectly, showing the perfect amount of cleavage that she never forgot to show off. Her motto in life being if you got it, flaunt it. Her shorts were so short, you could see her cheeks sneaking out slightly, forming into long perfect legs. 

Natalie looked around the table at all her friends still laughing after what seemed like an eternity, in her lime Levi's T-shirt, with her black hair falling over her one eye, her black shorts showing her well toned muscled legs, finishing off her look with her black Puma slops. Her sunglasses sat on top of her head keeping most of her hair out of her face, which kept slipping off her head with her rolling laughter. Natalie's light, deep blue eyes with a touch of green had tears sitting at the rim of her eyes, she swiped at the tears about ready to run down her face with laughter. Her lips weren't large, but they were filled out nicely with her teeth well aligned. Her height averaged at about 5'8" with an athletic built body. "I don't need to gym for a week after this laugh!" Natalie said, fighting the last tremors of the laugh.

"Ah that was so funny," Alice said breathing loud.

"Sometimes I think your mind is some twisted, sadistic thing that morphs everything into some insane idea that ninety percent of the time leads to action, Nat, no that's a lie, I know that your mind is a twisted, sadistic thing that morphs everything into some insane idea, ninety-nine percent of the time leading into action" Kaz commented her glasses back on, and grinning at her.

"I'm still struggling to breathe," Mia said breathing out loudly, still trying to catch her breath. 

"My muscles are numb," Jess said leaning on Mia.

"I shook so much from laughing I thought I was going to cum!" Devon said, as everyone stared at him, almost turning their heads 360 degrees. When the group of friends noticed that, they all burst into that fits of laughter again.  

Chapter Three:01 January 2000

Eventually they all calmed down enough to sip on their drinks. Natalie's Heineken cold as ice went down her throat, cooling her down, and felt amazing as it cooled her. Knowing that they hadn't stopped drinking since the celebrations had began last night, and having only a few hours of sleep, they were all still pretty wasted, but clear minded enough to think of food. "My friend Megan just flew back from Cape Town and she wants to join us, if that's okay," Mia mentioned in a tone as if it was a matter of fact and a grin on her face as if begging them to be okay with a stranger joining them. This had never bothered them; they lived by the policy the more the merrier. All agreeing in unison, like a choir singing Usher's Yeah, Yeah. 


Junky Chronicles Ch. 02



If you haven't read part one then part two will make little or no sense. This one goes out to chrisomes who especially signed up on literotica to contact me. Thank you so much.

I know you have been waiting a while, hopefully this was worth the wait. I want to thank my editors Cassy and LaRascasse, you guys make some of my crazier ideas make sense and the less crazy ones a bit more fun.

There is drug use in this part and I have no experience with drugs, so if I made some mistakes, I am sorry. I tried and did some research, but even research leaves gaps.

Thank you

SAbitch

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares." -- Henri Nouwen

Chapter Eleven July 2006

The next day Devon woke Natalie up just before nine so she could get ready for her appointment with the psychiatrist. All in all, it was bound to be a busy day and week. After her appointment with the psychiatrist, she had to speak with detective handling the murder case and then the lawyers to discuss the will and everything that entailed the deaths of her family. Natalie knew that she had to be mentally prepared, but she was so fragile that she felt as though she was going to fall apart, limb from limb, slowly shattering as each part of her fell to the floor. She looked at herself in the mirror, her blue eyes could not conceal the pain and loss. When she saw the emptiness they portrayed, she felt even more vulnerable and scared. Yesterday she buried her entire family, today she has to answer questions regarding their murders. She will walk in there and be treated like a suspect. Devon and Kaz appeared in the mirror beside her. She knew that she only needed them by her side. If they were there, things would be okay.

They arrived at Dr. Hendricks' office ten minutes early. Kaz helped Natalie fill in all the forms, considering that she was left handed and couldn't write with the sling she had to wear. They handed it in and a graying, balding older man came walking to toward them. He wasn't very big but had a belly, his nose was big and his brown eyes soft, the blue shirt he was wearing hugged his body and his black formal trousers and black shoes made him look professional. Suddenly Natalie felt under dressed in her Puma sweatpants and T-shirt.

"I'm Dr. Hendricks." He held his hand out to Natalie.

"Natalie Scott," She said as she took his hand and shook it.

"We will be back in an hour, love you!" Kaz said as Natalie followed the older man into his office.

The walls were painted a calming light blue. His desk was too big for the space and the shelves behind it were filled with books. He motioned Natalie to the large black leather couch, where she nervously took a seat, he sat a cross from her in the matching stool.

"How does this work exactly?" Natalie asked fumbling with her hands.

"Let's start with what brings you here today," He gave a reassuring smile.

"Dr. Simons and her recommendation." Natalie felt like she didn't need to be here, talking to a complete stranger about her life and family's deaths. She had her friends with whom she could share all of this.

He smiled at the remark, "I sense that you don't want be here today. That's okay. I cannot force you to do this, no one can. But a part of you must feel the need to be helped, otherwise you would not be here."

"Yeah, the outside part of me, I call them friends."

"Okay, from the information I gathered from Dr. Simons your friends play a very large role in your life. You trust their opinions more than you trust your own at this stage and that is a good thing. After the trauma you have experienced, you doubt yourself and your ability to heal from such an event. Your friends have done a good thing by encouraging you to come today. They sense how badly you need the help and someone who can guide you that is not personally involved with you. So let's start with what you remember about that night."

"I don't remember much and even if I did, I don't want to talk about it. It is personal and I don't see how you can fix any of this," Natalie responded protectively.

"You don't have to talk today, it will take time for you to trust me. With time we can work through this together," he continued to explain how they would go about it and prescribed different medication to keep Natalie calm but would keep her more aware of the things happening around her.

"Just so you, I don't want to work through this with you and I won't be coming back," Natalie said getting up and walking to the door.

They concluded their session and Kaz and Devon were already waiting for her. Their next stop frightened Natalie the most, the police station. Although she knew that she had nothing to hide. She also knew that people would do anything to prove their theories correct to close a high profile case, even if it meant sending an innocent person to jail.

"We are not going to leave your side. Calm down, Nat." Natalie was breathing heavily, a panic attack closing in.

Devon held her to his chest as he spoke the words, but Natalie's breathing didn't slow. They walked into the police station. Devon took a card out of his pocket, read it and spoke to the police officer standing behind the desk, "We are here to see Detective du Plessis." The officer looked at the card, then at Kaz and Natalie.

"Follow me," was all he said as they walked down the hall to a small office. "Just wait here. He will be with you shortly." He said and disappeared.

Devon still held Natalie close, trying to calm her, but she was crying again. How many times do they want her to relive that night? Knowing that this time she could not refuse to talk. A balding man entered the room, in his early forties, with a slender build and a dark brown moustache than across his upper lip. His flannel shirt was done in different shades of brown and matched his khaki slacks, completed with tan-brown boots. "I am Detective du Plessis," He said as he shook each of their hands n turn. They introduced themselves and sat down.

Kaz left the room while Devon stayed behind, holding Natalie close.

"I see that you requested that your friend acts as your lawyer," He stated the obvious. Devon had a degree and knew Natalie. She could think of no one better to represent her.

"Yes," was Devon's only response.

"At this stage in the investigation we have to explore all options. It doesn't mean that you are a suspect, but until we have further answers we cannot exclude anyone." He said matter-of-factly.

"So you treat the only witness like a suspect and leak it to the media before even knowing what her statement would be." Devon said, anger welling up in his voice.

"Let's start with what you remember about that night," He said half ignoring Devon's statement.

For the first time that day Natalie recounted what she remembered from that night. The detective kept asking questions like; Was there anyone that would want to harm your family? Was there any suspicious activity before the murders? Natalie couldn't think of anything, although she held all the answers, she simply didn't know it yet. He kept questioning them for an hour, until Natalie couldn't take it anymore and had a panic attack. Devon acted quickly, he injected her and encouraged her to breathe. When the effects subsided. Devon wanted to attack the detective. "Apparently they didn't train you very well!"

Natalie put a hand on his arm, "Let's just go."

They arrived at their last meeting for the day, although the days' events were bound to repeat itself for another few weeks.

Chapter Twelve July 2006

"Please come in, Miss Scott," Dani Turner, her family lawyer, said as they walked into the waiting area.

"Hey, Dani," Natalie said as she hugged her. Dani gave her a tender hug, filled with emotion. Her father had been the family lawyer since they both could remember and Dani recently took over his practice.

"This is Devon and Kaz, my best friends." Natalie said as Dani shook their hands.

Devon simply stared as he looked at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Dani's dark blonde hair was long, always neatly styled in perfect layers, her bright blue eyes took Devon's breath away and when he noticed the full lips he felt his mouth water. The black business suit Dani was wearing accentuated her well toned body and the purple dress shirt completed the look. "Nice to meet you. Let's go into the office," Natalie and her friends followed her inside her spacious office with modern pieces and racks filled with books. She unbuttoned her jacket and sat behind her massive desk, while they took the chairs positioned on the opposite side of the desk.

"I have the will here and I will read through it now. At your father's request, he wanted only you present and whom you chose to invite. There are letters here, from both your parents and your wife, which I will give to you at the end of the reading. Of course there are some decisions that you will have to make and I will guide you through them." Her voice comforted Natalie.

Dani had been in her life for a long time, but they weren't friends. Both their father's believed that business and pleasure should not mix.

Dani began reading the will in her soft, professional voice.

"To our beloved daughter, if you are hearing this it means that your mother and I passed away. We would like to let you know how we much we love you. You have been our most precious gift and to be leaving you alone in the world is our greatest fear. Never stop believing and always follow your heart and dreams," Dani looked Natalie in the eye and saw tears threatening to spill.

Dani read the official will and it clearly stated that Natalie inherited everything, being an only child. Natalie had been thinking about this for a while. She looked at Dani and asked if she could speak.

"I am not in the right frame of mind to run a business right now, so I want to nominate Kaz to take over the duties until I have worked through everything that I need to. Kaz, you have a degree in business and I trust you with my life, but I will not force you to do this. If you agree, I would appreciate it and of course the position will be permanent. When I am ready, I will become a partner in the position. With that said I also want to have all my money frozen, except for what the company might need and I would prefer to only receive an allowance until I can get back to work," Natalie looked at Kaz hopefully.

"Of course I will do it," Kaz said. She had been working for Natalie's father for years now and knew the business as god as Natalie did.

"Dani, will you please get the papers drawn up?" Natalie asked.

After Dani agreed she handed letters to Natalie and Devon. The ones handed to Devon was meant for him and Kaz to read.

They discussed the remaining details and Dani said that she would contact them during the week to finalize Natalie's wishes. They said their goodbyes and the three friends made their way to Devon's car. Natalie felt a deep sadness within her, one that never seemed to leave.

Chapter Thirteen July 2006

Natalie locked herself in her room, thinking of her parents and her wife. Dread filled her. Her heart felt as though it was in a vice grip and as time passed the grip got tighter and tighter. Fearing that if the pressure kept building, she would eventually explode. She imagined Megan sitting at her desk, pen in hand, writing this letter to her:

My Dearest Natalie

I spent so many waking moments, praying that the day will never come that you had to read this, because reading this means that we have separated by death. I guess I only thought, no hoped, that if our time came, we would go together, I simply couldn't imagine having to live life without your arms tightly wrapped around me, your words of comfort and encouragement in everything I did or wanted to do. Without you I would never have achieved everything that I have. All I can hope for now is that you knew that I loved you more than life itself and that you will always and forever hold my heart.

Knowing you and that you feel everything so deeply, I cannot begin to imagine the extreme sense of loss you must be feeling right now. But baby, I want you to know that I am right there with you. I will forever be looking out for you and protect you for as long as I possibly can. I am in everything you see around you, the rays of sun falling on your skin, the air that surrounds you and that tear trickling down your cheek right now.

I also want to tell you the things that I never got the chance to and if I did, I want to remind you of them. The first day I saw you in the Spur, my heart almost leaped out of chest and nestled next to yours, that night it did. When you kissed me for the first time, you were so gentle and so caring, soft to the touch and you made me feel alive and worthy for the first time in my life. Now that I think about it we moved quite fast in our relationship, but the pace could never have suited me better, simply because I knew from the first moment that I had found my soul mate and that I would be with you until the day I die.

The first time we made love on your 22nd birthday was the most magical night of my life. I had never known that the gentleness you showed that night even existed in human nature. That night I wanted to run through the streets and shout my happiness out to the world, scream loud enough that the entire universe could hear me. I have never known a more gentle and loving soul. You had always put me first in every decision that you made, never allowing me to feel left out or unloved. Your caring nature secured and deepened my love for you everyday and each morning that I would wake up and stared into those blue eyes of yours, they have always been the bluest of blues, I knew that I had found my place in the world and that it was next to you.

Then there was the night that you had proposed, I still don't know how you pulled off such an amazing proposal, but I was the happiest person on this planet. We went on to plan our wedding, get married and plan our family, the day we found out that I was pregnant was easily one the most magical moments of my life. When I saw the pure joy in your eyes I knew that life was perfect for the first time ever. I could sit here and reminisce our memories all day, scribbling them down on these blank pages but I found a better way to remind you. If you look in my closet underneath the heaps of shoes I have gathered, you will find a box and in it a scrapbook that I have done to remind you everyday of the happiness we shared in hope that you will forget the sadness you feel now.

My second last request is that you will grieve for me, but not forever. I want you to move on, baby, because you deserve happiness after all of it that you had brought me. Go out and make new memories. Live life, baby. You deserve it.

So I come to my last request, promise me that you will tell our son all about me, that you will share all the happy moment with him and tell him everyday how much I love him.

Baby, thank you for a life time of memories. If you doubt anything, I knew how much you love me and I felt it everyday. I just hope that I had made you feel how much I love you. In heaven there are no tears, baby, except for the ones that I cry for you everyday.

With all my love

Megan 

Natalie cried uncontrollably as she clutched the letter to her chest. After the events of this day, she couldn't bear the pain anymore. She needed out. She simply couldn't be here without Megan anymore. How much pain can one person take before breaking completely? Natalie didn't know the answer, but she realized if she was here any longer she would find out. She lay on the bed for a while, thinking until she couldn't think anymore. Natalie folded the letter neatly, walked to the bathroom and started running water. She undressed, folding each item neatly, she opened her medicine cabinet and retrieved her sleeping pills and a blade she had there. She lowered herself into the cold water, goose bumps running over body.

She opened the jar of sleeping pills that she had retrieved from the medicine cabinet and swallowed the contents of bottle. After Natalie threw it to one side, she reached for the blade that she had also gotten from the cabinet, she left the tap open and drove the blade into her wrist, cutting from the one side to the other, watching as the skin tore apart and blood flowed from the cut. The pain seared through her arm, she felt the emotion drain her while her blood flowed. The tears in her eyes blurred her vision as she repeated the act on her other arm. She ripped off the gauze that covered her gunshot wound. One by one, she pulled out the staples. The water around her turned red as she bled and the drowsiness set in. The staples dropped in the water, causing tiny splashes, blood running down her body and mixing with the red water she was laying in. The world turned black as Natalie's body went limp.

Water started running down the stairs when Alice came into the house. "Guys, why is there water running down the stairs?"

Devon ran up the stairs, found the door locked and heard water running. With one swift kick, he broke down the door and ran into the bathroom, Kaz was on his heels and Alice behind her. The white floor of the bathroom was covered in red water. Devon looked over to the bath, there Natalie lay, her body limp and submerged in water. He closed the taps and pulled the limp body from the bath. Natalie had turned a pale, deathly white with a hint of blue surrounding her lips. Devon opened her eye lids and they revealed almost lifeless pupils beneath.

"Call an ambulance! Kaz pass me towels and come help here!"

Kaz ran over to his side and watched as he lay Natalie's limp body on the wet floor, blood still seeping from her wounds, "Wrap the towels around her wrist and apply pressure, keep it there!" Devon was frantic as he shouted.

Kaz applied pressure, holding Natalie's wrists tightly attempting to stop the bleeding. She straddled Natalie's hips to reach both wrists and still give Devon room to do CPR.

He immediately started CPR, blowing two breaths into Natalie's lungs by putting his mouth to hers, then proceeding to pump her chest, thirty pumps and two breaths. He kept repeating the actions, his movements were desperate and the fear that paralyzed his emotions made his actions more desperate.

"The ambulance is on its way! What can I do?" Alice was hysterical and she watched Devon press down on Natalie's chest, her head bobbed from side to side.

"Wait for the ambulance and show them where to come," Devon shouted as he repeated the actions over and over again.

Five minutes later the ambulance showed up and took over from Devon. They immediately start resuscitation by shocking Natalie's heart. Once they found a pulse they rushed Natalie's naked body, covered in a white sheet, down the stairs and into the ambulance. Devon, Kaz and Alice followed in his car.

Devon pushed his car to its limits, weaving through traffic at 140km an hour. The journey felt like a life time, not knowing whether or not Natalie was still alive or if she would survive. It had been about 45 minutes that Natalie had been alone in the room. They all simply wanted to give her time to mourn.

Natalie was immediately taken into surgery to pump her stomach, stitch up her wrists, replace the staples and start a blood transfusion. Devon, Kaz and Alice waited in the waiting area, Devon and Kaz still covered in Natalie's blood.

The procedure was complicated by Natalie's unpredictable heart beat, her heart would stop and restart by itself all the time. A few times they had to resuscitate her.




Junky Chronicles Ch. 02



"How could we let this happen?" Devon almost shouted.

If it wasn't for the bath water running down the hall, they would never have realized that Natalie was attempting to take her own life.

"God damnit! How the fuck did things get here?" Alice asked breaking down.

The three of them cried, not speaking another word. If they could answer that question, maybe, just maybe they could help their friend overcome these demons that haunted her now. If only they knew how to save her life. Was there anyone who could save her?

What is life if you lose everything that you live for? Even if Natalie made it through surgery, she would still be dead in a way that no surgery could fix.

Chapter Fourteen 31 October 2000 

It was Halloween, the first Halloween that Megan would spend with them, Natalie couldn't help but wonder how she would react to the weird traditions they had created for this day of insanity. Megan knew that there was a Halloween party at their house that night, which was why they were spending the day at Natalie's parent's house while the decorations were set up. The winter had just eased away and was making way for the summer, but it was still a bit too cold to swim, so they were lounging in the lapa of her parents house while her parents were out. Kaz rolled a joint as she leaned against Ben, "This is some strong shit. We are going to trip our balls off."

Devon burst out laughing, "I don't know about you, but as far as I am concerned the only female in this conversation with balls is Natalie."

Natalie reached for the pillow on the couch next to her as everyone laughed, and threw it at Devon's face. He realized it too late and it hit him, causing him to fall off the chair with a loud thump. He rolled on the floor laughing and Natalie was laughing too hard to get up and help him or simply ask if he was okay.

"Ouch!" He said and laughed again as he got up.

"I'm..." Natalie started but couldn't finish due to the laughter that erupted in her again.

She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry!"

He walked over to Natalie and picked her up. He walked over to the pool and jumped in.

"Shit!" Natalie shouted as she emerged from the cold water.

"Holy fuck, it's a little colder than I expected!"

Natalie started laughing, "I can't believe you just did that!"

"Wait until you see my outfit for tonight!"

Natalie went under and pulled his feet out from under him, with one movement she moved up and pushed him under. Then she swam for her life to reach the edge and pull herself out.

"Bitch!" He shouted.

Natalie shivered from both the cold and laughter than ran through her.

"Will you two dumbasses dry off and come smoke already?" Kaz said in mock annoyance.

"Yes, mom! I'm on my way," Devon said as he climbed out and Michelle handed him a towel.

They passed the joint in a circle, the indescribable smell filling their nostrils. Devon took a large drag and held it in, with is breath still sucked in he asked, "What are we smoking?" He blew the smoke out when he finished.

"A little purple haze to get you out of your dark phase," Natalie said. Devon started coughing and laughing at the same time.

Megan took a hit or three and sat back as she enjoyed the effects. She took one more drag and blew it into Natalie's mouth as their lips locked, Natalie sucked it in. Natalie then took the joint and took a few hits herself. She felt her muscles relax and her brain felt light while her eyes went bloodshot. She was still in her wet clothes, but suddenly the cold material felt welcoming on her skin.

"Anyone want to reach for a star?" Megan asked as everyone burst out laughing.

"Just remember to put it in you pocket before you fall into the pool and drown it again." Kaz barely got her words out as she shook with laughter.

"The star really drowned," Michelle said being all serious, which made everyone laugh even harder.

Michelle was not the sharpest tool in the shed. She would believe anything you told her while laughing. But she made Devon happy and that was the only thing that mattered, so they had to deal with the perfect dumb-blonde stereotype that was Michelle.

Natalie's parents came through the door, "Are you smoking that shit again?" her father asked jokingly. Megan jumped when she saw him.

"We saved you some Mr. Scott, it's the good stuff." Devon smiled broadly.

"Hell it is Halloween! Might as well make the best of it," he said when Devon lit another joint.

"Dad, you're not cool when you're stoned. You become weird and eat too much." Megan looked from Natalie to Natalie's father.

"Your dad smokes?" She asked shocked.

Natalie smiled tenderly down at her, "Yeah, he's a regular old bad ass sometimes."

Brian took a drag, "Only on Halloween though. It makes the experience more intense." He blew the remaining smoke out.

"I thought we agreed on space cakes. This shit burns my throat," Natalie's mother said as she joined the party drink in hand.

"It's too much effort too bake, ma." Devon said. All Natalie's friends called her mom 'ma'.

"You seriously have the coolest parents ever," Alice remarked again. Thinking back at all the times they got high in this exact spot.

"Hmmm," was all Natalie said, she lost track of the conversation when Megan tenderly looked into her eyes. As she stared into those hazel eyes, Natalie saw their entire future.

Megan reached up and put her hands on Natalie's face, "I love you," was all she whispered as she kissed Natalie.

For a moment they forgot they were between people, until Natalie's dad said, "Your bedroom here is still open and furnished, if you two want to move that party somewhere more private."

Megan and Natalie both started laughing into the kiss, "Dad!"

Devon high fived him, "Mr. Scott, you are my hero!"

They spent the entire afternoon like that, "Well, it's time to get into our costumes," Natalie's mother declared. Reluctantly they all got up and Megan followed Natalie to her old bedroom, of when she was a teenager.

"So is this where Devon broke your virginity?" Natalie burst out laughing, still having laughter fits.

"Yes baby girl, in this room on that bed." Natalie eventually responded and Megan moved to sit on the bed.

"I bet I could make you scream louder than he did," Smoking marijuana always made Megan horny, although she never told Natalie that.

Unknown to Megan, marijuana had the same effect on Natalie, frozen in the spot Natalie stared at Megan as she removed her shirt. Wearing only her shorts and bra Megan walked to Natalie and kissed her passionately. Due to the effects of the marijuana, time seemed to stretch and the kiss felt way longer than it was. Megan removed Natalie's shirt and pushed her toward the bed. Natalie fell on the bed and moved up to position herself more comfortably on the bed, Megan got on top of Natalie.

Natalie reached around Megan and unclasped her bra. Every time she saw Megan's breasts, she was speechless and for a moment she simply stared at their beauty. Natalie pulled herself up and took one of the nipples in her mouth as Megan let out a moan. Every touch felt more erotic than usual, the experience intensified and every touch sent electric currents through their bodies.

*******

For a second Natalie was pulled out of her flashback as another electric jolt raced through her heart and she looked around for a second. Then her eyes closed again as the beeping stabilized and her mind returned where it left off.

*******

Megan pushed Natalie down after she unclasped Natalie's bra, pinning her hands above her head. Hungrily Megan feasted on Natalie skin and body, eagerly sucking her nipple. Megan let go of Natalie hands and unbuttoned her shorts, pulled them down along with Natalie's underwear. She tossed it to one side and without teasing or hesitation she put her mouth on Natalie's dripping sex. "Oh God!" Natalie moaned as Megan's tongue entered her feverishly.

Megan loved Natalie's taste, wanting it to fill every part of her she sucked up as many of the juices as she could. Megan's hand moved to Natalie's clit and started rubbing it in circular motion as she pumped her tongue in and out of Natalie's hole. Natalie couldn't control it anymore. Her climax overtook her and she screamed, "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Megan didn't stop then. She kept going as a second and third climax roared through Natalie as she kept screaming. Natalie pulled Megan up to her and kissed her, she picked Megan up and pushed her into a wall, her hand went in between Megan's thighs and she inserted two fingers deep into Megan. Megan pushed her hips against Natalie's hand and pressed her back against the wall. Natalie searched out the g-spot and started pumping her fingers in and out of Megan in hard deep thrusts. "Oh God, baby," Megan panted.

Natalie kept going, she felt Megan's muscles clenching around her fingers as an intense climax coursed through her body, and like Megan, she continued until Megan went limp against the wall and her voice disappeared from her screaming. Eventually coming down from her orgasm, "Fuck baby, every time I think sex with you can't get any better, you surprise me."

Natalie panted with Megan, "I couldn't agree more."

"Now we need to clean up," Megan was completely aware of the wetness running down her thighs.

They moved into the shower and shared more passion filled moments there.

Chapter Fifteen 31 October 2000

Natalie dressed in one of her traditional costumes, Devon and her had started this very strange tradition years back, when Natalie dressed like him one year for Halloween. The tradition started the next year when she repeated it and Devon in turn dressed like her. Megan burst out laughing when Natalie walked out of the bathroom in an oversized school rugby jersey. It hung low and almost reached her knees, just visible below it was a rather large pair of black rugby shorts. The look was completed with knee high green socks and lime rugby boots. Natalie looked so small and vulnerable in the oversized clothing that Megan simply had to embrace her. "You look uhm... different baby." She laughed again.

Natalie looked at Megan, she was sexily dressed as a vampire in a tight black dress, her breasts peaking out a little bit in a cleavage. She looked uncomfortable with the fake vampire fangs in her mouth and the high heels she was standing on, "And you look beautiful baby girl."

Natalie softly kissed her on the lips. Hand-in-hand the descended the stairs. Everyone burst out laughing at Natalie and complimented Megan on how beautiful she looked. Then Devon walked down walked the stairs, trying a very seductive walk. Natalie almost folded double with laughter when she saw him. He was wearing a black matching underwear set with large high heels, for breasts he had stuffed the bra with socks and somehow pulled his penis to the back to avoid a bulge in the front. He was wearing a wig with long black strands, he posed for everyone, "So how do I look?"

"What are you?" Brian, Natalie's father asked confused. Although he knew about their tradition he simply couldn't figure this one out.

"I am Natalie on that very special evening a few years ago," He declared proudly.

Natalie turned a bright red, "You asshole! How could you dare display something like that?"

Devon walked to Natalie, "Because I just want to make you feel special."

Everyone laughed and despite herself Natalie smiled, "That night was special and not for display! Yeah we make fun of it, but I didn't come walking out here with a fake dick covered in a condom saying, 'are you ready, sweet thang?'," Natalie did a perfect impression of Devon.

"With the screaming I just heard coming from the room I'm rather surprised you didn't," Devon knew he got the desired effect when both Megan and Natalie turned redder than tomatoes.

"You never could make me scream like that. So what is it, jealousy?" Natalie retorted, she was used to sharing almost everything with her friends, but certain things she preferred to be kept quiet and all her bedroom escapades were in full view right now.

"Ouch! Way to hurt a man's ego," Devon said.

Kaz immediately jumped in before things went beyond joking, "Okay, that's enough. You are bickering worse than in high school! Devon, the version of Natalie you are displaying right now was private between the two of you, and Natalie, do you have to always paint with words?"

Megan felt the tension and was left very confused with the completely weird friendship that the three shared, especially when Devon and Natalie burst out laughing and hugged each other.

"Always the same thing, every single year," Kaz moaned as she walked to Ben. Her friends were all dressed differently. Ben in a Scream mask, Kaz as freakishly real zombie, Alice was dressed like Marilyn Monroe, Kevin, her boyfriend, as John F. Kennedy for the full effect, Mia and Jess were matching gremlins and Michelle wore a skeleton suit that suited her skinny frame. Natalie's parents were dressed as Bonnie and Clyde. Together, they left the house and headed to Natalie's house where a whole lot of acquaintances were bound to arrive at any moment.

They arrived at the house and it looked amazing. A graveyard was on the front lawn, with carved out pumpkin, fake spider webs were everywhere along with statues of zombies and the most horrifying creatures you could possibly imagine. One in particular sent chills down Natalie's spine, a large wax statue of the creature in Jeepers Creepers. People started arriving and the party was in full swing. Natalie and Megan were standing in each other's arms, simply enjoying the moment of being alone for a bit. Megan touched Natalie's cheek and felt electric jolts race through her, her dream began to blur and Natalie reached out with all her might to Megan, but Megan simply smiled and blurred out of focus.

*****

Natalie breathed in wildly, as she tried to adjust to her new surroundings. Doctors were everywhere, shouting instructions and injecting her with liquids, then the world went black again.

Chapter Sixteen July 2006

"She's okay, it took a lot to revive her and her heart stopped twice. We will however only know the extent of the damage when she wakes up. How did this happen?" Dr. Simons asked.

"We went to the reading of the will. Megan had left her a letter and Natalie went to bedroom and locked herself inside. We figured she just needed time so we read the letter Megan gave us when Alice arrived. She asked why it sounded like water was running down the hall way. We rushed to her room and that's when we found her," Devon said, still crying.

"You were lucky this time. If you were even a minute late, we would have lost her today. She is in room 1436 if you want to go see her," Dr. Simons said.

Together they silently roamed the hall to Natalie's room. There she lay once again, machines and drips hooked up to her, fresh bandages covered her wrists and her eyes were closed in a peaceful sleep. "What did that letter say?" Michelle asked.

Devon took it out of his pocket and slowly handed it to Michelle to read. Slowly she unfolded the letter and began to read:

Hey guys

Well if you are reading this it means that my time with all of you have been cut short. I would like to take this time to thank you , for the time that we had together, for accepting me with open arms and always being there when I needed you. Together with you and Natalie I felt like I had found a family, very dysfunctional and very loving.

What I really want to ask all of you is, to always stick by Natalie's side. This is a time that she will need you more than ever. What Natalie and I had shared was unspoken and misunderstood, no one truly knew what we had and how we felt. Natalie would understand all of my thoughts with one simple look or touch, that doesn't happen to just anyone in a lifetime and once you have found it you can never let go.

I had always hoped that neither Natalie or I would ever have to live without the other, but that is the situation with what we are faced now. I know that somehow you guys will help her get through this. Don't allow her to mope for too long. she deserves a happy life, she has always put everyone in her life before herself. She deserves someone who will do that for her.

I hope that one day you will understand the depth of the bond Natalie and I shared, that would be the only way that you could help her heal. So please do me this one favor, look after my angel. She is the most amazing woman I had ever met.

Thank you for everything. I love you all

Megan 

Michelle read the letter aloud and Natalie heard every word swimming into her subconscious. "They really loved each other. I understand why she tried to leave this life" Michelle commented.

"I don't know. Natalie seemed so in control when we got home, I never expected it. But once again they proved how intensely they loved each other." Devon looked at his friend as she lay, wondering how she would ever heal from this. Silently he thought to himself that maybe they should have let her die and gone to be with the one she loves.

"I don't know if Natalie is ever going to heal from this, honestly. We lost our friend the day Megan died. We might as well say goodbye to the Natalie we used to know right now." Kaz felt the same thought cross her mind. They should simply have let Natalie go and find her peace.

Alice stood at Natalie's side and started to speak, "Nat, I have known you for years I have seen you go through so many of the motions of life, the pain that had almost destroyed you and the love you had found with Megan that had healed you completely. I guess that what none of us had ever realized was that she was the one who had helped you become the person that we grew to love so very much. None of us had ever thought that we would lose Megan and with that a big part of what made you the person you are. We had already said our goodbyes to Megan and now I feel that I need to say goodbye to the part of you that died with her and say that I hope that we can build you up again, make you resemble the person you were with her. No matter how any of this turns out, we will always love and support you Nat."

Alice had spoken for all of them as they each nodded in agreement and returned to their own thoughts. "I never thought love like theirs existed, suddenly we all realize just what big part Megan played in Natalie's life." Devon looked at the helpless Natalie.

"Love is strange. The two of them completed each other perfectly." They sat in silence for a long time, the realization of everything they lost suddenly sinking in. Tears trickling down their faces, trying to imagine the sense of loss their friend must feel. Unseen by them a single tear trickled down Natalie's cheek at the words of her friends, her own realization that a big part of her had died along with Megan and her son.

Chapter Seventeen July 2006

Natalie was out of the hospital a few days later. Her emotional state has taken an even deeper dive after she heard her friends saying goodbye to the good part of Natalie that died. Natalie wanted to crawl under a rock and die, just have all this pain gone. As she walked into her room she remembered the scrapbook that Megan had mentioned in her letter. Slowly she walked the closet, the sling around her arm had been replaced and the bandages around her wrists constricted her movement even more as she carefully moved the shoes to try and find that box.

"Nat?!" Devon called from bedroom door.

"In the closet! I'm not trying to commit suicide, don't worry," Natalie responded in a flat, emotionless voice.

He peeked around the closet door, "I thought you came out of the closet a long time ago," He attempted the joke.

Natalie smiled a smile that didn't reach her eyes and continued digging, "Okay, what are you looking for?" He asked in a defeated tone.




Junky Chronicles Ch. 02



"A scrapbook Megan made for me. She mentioned it in her letter. It's supposed to be in a box here somewhere." Natalie felt tears well up in her eyes as she handled Megan's things.

"Can I help?" Devon knelt down beside her and touched her arm lightly. Natalie burrowed her face in her available hand and broke down. Devon sat down and pulled her into his arms.

Right there between Megan's clothes, Megan's soft jasmine smell hung in the air. Natalie sobbed as Devon held on to a shaking Natalie. Kaz and Alice appeared in the doorway, without saying a word they joined Devon and formed a circle around Natalie.   

"We are going to work through this," Kaz said rubbing her back.

"And we love you, no matter what," Alice added, her hand on Natalie's leg.

"And we will always have your back, no matter what." Devon hugged her tighter.

"Besides, a day will come where you will laugh again and you won't stop. We will be there laughing with you." Kaz said very convincingly.

Natalie spoke between sobs in a muffled voice from her face in Devon's chest, "Anyone have a joint?"

Kaz wanted to laugh, "Do you still even have to ask?"

"That sounds like a good idea. we'll come for the box later," Devon said, desperate to get his friend out of this very intense reminder.

They walked to the lapa and Devon rolled the joint, while Alice pulled Natalie in between her legs and wrapped her arms around her friend. The smell immediately tickled Natalie's senses and she felt a large need for this relief. As usual the joint passed around in circles and when it reached Natalie she felt her mouth watering. She took one large drag, held it in and started coughing when she let it out, when the coughing subsided she took another large drag and held it in even longer as she passed it back to Devon. She felt the familiar tingling in her muscles as her entire body began to relax and she rested even harder into Alice's body. When Alice put her arms tighter around Natalie she suddenly felt safe. Natalie found it impossible to laugh at the usual banter when they were stoned out of their minds. Instead Natalie found herself looking for Megan, waiting for her to come walking past the pool, fighting with them that they didn't wait for her smoke the joint. As Natalie stared at that part next to pool, she could have sworn the outlines of Megan appeared. Only Devon noticed this as he looked to the same spot. He also could have sworn that he saw those same outlines and figured that it was Megan's way of saying that they were doing a good job so far. At that moment simultaneous tears ran down Devon and Natalie's cheeks as he they looked at each other in understanding.

Devon looked at Natalie and realized that he still loved her more than anything in this world and that if it wasn't for her sexual orientation he would have been the happiest man alive with her by his side. Suddenly he dwelt in his own world. He understood why Megan loved her so much. Everyday in Natalie's presence was a gift even when she was as broken as she was at this moment in her life. He missed Megan dearly, her presence was always felt and the way she looked at Natalie was enough to melt any person's heart and then there was the way Natalie was around her and the way her eyes lit up. He wished he could find love like that, even though he and Michelle have been together for seven years, he never felt that way about her, and lately he'd been doubting his love for Michelle even more. Adding to that factor was that Michelle hated Devon spending so much time with his friend that was going through hell. Apparently Michelle didn't understand what Natalie meant to him and that he would choose her over anyone and anything any day of the week.

Kaz's mind was dwelling in a complete different direction. She had this amazing news that she was dying to share with her friends. None of them even noticed that she had passed on smoking, but she understood considering the emotions going around. The one person she wanted to share it with was Natalie, but considering that Natalie had just lost her own child along with her wife, Kaz felt insensitive simply considering sharing the news of her pregnancy. She only found out yesterday, but if things were different now, she knew that Natalie would have sat by her while she took the test.

Natalie sat there in Alice's arms, all she could think about was Megan. How that shape had appeared before her eyes, Megan was smiling at her and knew that Devon saw it too. That only meant that it was real, unless Devon and Natalie had the exact same hallucination, which was highly improbable. That hole in her heart only seemed to grow bigger by the day, she didn't know how she would ever work through those five stages of grief; denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance. Natalie doubted that she would move past stage four. She will forever be stuck in lost time with Megan.

"Since I am now more relaxed than I have been a while, tell me what's been going in your lives?" Natalie desperately needed the distraction from the vision she just had.

"Not much," Devon said, still distracted by his own thoughts.

"Please just indulge me. Take my mind off of everything," Natalie pleaded.

Devon looked at everyone as they remained silent, "Well I'm growing more and more uncertain about my relationship with Michelle. She is so jealous about the fact that I spend so much time with all of you. It's like she actually believes that Natalie and I would get back together," Natalie suddenly burst out laughing at that insanity.

Everyone looked at her. They knew it was probably the weed but just to hear that sweet laugh again was like music to their ears.

"Oh my God, she really thinks that? I guess my obvious sexual orientation never tipped her off that I am not attracted to you anymore," Natalie tried desperately to have a few laughs with her friends, if she didn't the fun part of her die would die completely.

The rest joined in the laughter, savoring this moment because they didn't know when it might happen again.

"She's just being anal if you ask me." Devon said dryly.

"Oh thinking about it, there's something I've wanted to ask you for a long time and now that I actually don't care about the answer is," Natalie gave an evil smile to Devon.

"Something tells me I'm to regret this, but ask away," Devon braced himself.

"Dev, I always wondered, how kinky does Michelle get? I mean Kaz and I spent nights arguing about it. She says that Michelle probably initiates all the sex stuff, but I think you do all the kinky shit," Natalie blushed as she said the words aloud and Kaz burst out laughing. Even Alice was shaking with laughter behind her.

"I knew I was going to regret it, okay how to answer this. Well Kaz is partly correct and so are you Nat, but I kind of love being taken control of." He blushed severely.

"That settles that then," Kaz said, although she absolutely loved her friends, she hated the sex talk.

"You're still not comfortable with the sex topic hey?" Alice asked with a bout of sympathy.

"Not at all. I've known those two for almost sixteen years, twelve years of them being gay, and I can't get used to it," Kaz said in all honesty.

"I still don't understand how the very conservative and private you became with loud and insane people like us, but I love it. You keep us in check," Natalie smiled at her friend.

"I ask myself that everyday, but you are great friends when you put the sex talk aside."

Devon rolled another joint and lit it, he passed it to Kaz who declined the offer. Natalie looked at her quizzically while she took the joint and dragged it deeply before passing it to Alice.

"Why are you not smoking?" Natalie asked Kaz, seemingly worried.

"Someone needs to keep you in check," Kaz smiled.

"And now for the real reason? Come on, Kaz. We've known each other for more than half our lives, you know you can tell us anything." Natalie reassured.

Kaz took a deep breath and prepared to drop the bomb, "I don't want to seem insensitive, but I am dying to share it with you," She hesitated for a moment but pressed on, "I'm, well, I'm pregnant!" Much to Kaz's surprise Natalie jumped up and ran to her friend.

"Oh my God! Congratulations! I am so happy for you, really I am. Just promise me one thing?" Kaz hugged her friend, tears in her eyes at her friend's true happiness.

"Anything," She responded.

"I get to be the crazy, loving godmother." Natalie still held her friend close.

"Naturally! Did you honestly think that I would have anyone else do that?"

Devon and Alice waited until the moment was over before saying their own congratulations to Kaz. The rest of the afternoon went in a similar way. Natalie kept her high up to keep the emotions at bay and shared in her friends' lives for the rest of the day. When Kaz and Alice returned home Devon and Natalie returned to Megan's closet to continue their search for that box.

Chapter Eighteen July 2006

Natalie and Devon spent a long time looking for the box, but failed to find it. Natalie wondered if Megan hadn't moved after she had written the letter and Natalie didn't know where to start looking. She figured that she'd find it when the time was right. Natalie had nothing to occupy her time and she became seemingly more depressed, when she felt down she rolled a joint, poured a stiff drink and simply sat back, allowing her mind to become numb and slow. Natalie had found that it helped, so the week had passed in a blurry drunken-high.

Alice had spent the night at Natalie's place while Kaz and Devon attempted to reconcile with their loved ones. Natalie made coffee, cursed at the sling for the hundredth time and when she prepared to roll a joint she realized that they were out of marijuana. "We need to get to a dealer," Natalie stated as Alice entered the kitchen. "Let's eat first. Then we can go," Alice yawned and grabbed her coffee. Alice proceeded to make breakfast. She loved having her days off and when that was done they both ate and drove to their dealer. Natalie bought about 10 grams of marijuana to last her the week and Alice bought some cocaine and rocks. Everyone knew that she used it recreationally sometimes and apparently today her need had arisen.

The dealer was a middle aged, balding white man. His house always filled with a variety of people doing different drugs. The place gave both Natalie and Alice the chills. He sold good weed though, so they kept returning.

When they returned from the dealer Natalie started rolling a joint as fat as a gorilla finger. Alice was cutting some rocks, "Put some of this on," Alice suggested, desperate for a proper high. Natalie held the joint out to Alice and she added about a 1/4 of a gram to the joint. Natalie sealed it and sat back preparing to light it. Under any other circumstances Natalie would never do anything like this, but she was desperate to feel something other than emptiness and the temporary calm marijuana gave her seemed like a viable alternative. Her eyes focused on the flame of the lighter bringing it closer to the tip of the joint hanging from her lips. When she heard the soft crackling sound she inhaled deeply to take in the first hit. She immediately felt the effects starting, not knowing what to expect but it tasted just like regular marijuana. She took three deep pulls and passed it to Alice who was sitting next to her. Natalie sunk deeper into the couch, feeling all of her senses liven and numb at the same time. She felt one with the couch and her surroundings. 

Natalie's eyes traveled to the ceiling, feeling her inhibitions flee from her slowly. Her heart rate increased and her body temperature immediately rose while her pupils became dilated. She reverted her eyes to Alice and watched her experience the same feelings of euphoria. Alice slumped down in the couch next to Natalie, breathing deeply while Natalie took another couple of pulls. They sat in silence for what they thought to an eternity but was only a few minutes. Natalie closed her eyes while she experienced this new found euphoria. Familiar feelings of excitement and thrills were amplified, her mind opened to new possibilities. The tingling started in the pit of her stomach and traveled down to her crotch. Suddenly Natalie was so turned she would fuck anything on two legs. Her eyes flew open when she felt the sudden burst of energy flowing through her nerves. She felt revved-up, in control and completely buzzed. 

Alice smiled while she watched Natalie rock through the waves of her high, how she was experiencing every feeling, every moment and every effect with a wonder that could only possess a new born baby experiencing the world for the first time. Alice knew what to expect, but somehow doing this with Natalie was making it different. Her hormones kicked into high gear every time she looked at the beautiful woman next to her. She knew that soon all of their inhibitions would be stripped away, the high would control them body, mind and soul. But what Natalie did next Alice could never have dreamed. Alice was still in awe of the beautiful creature next to her when suddenly and unexpectedly she found Natalie's lips on her own. 'God this is so much better than I ever fantasized,' was the only thought crossing her mind. The logical side of Alice's mind tried to break through and tell her that this was simply the drugs and not Natalie, but she silenced it quickly when she felt Natalie's tongue enter her mouth with a feverish passion. Alice threw her arms around Natalie's neck and kissed her back hard, trying very hard not to hurt Natalie's injured shoulder. Natalie started opening her sling and once all of the catches were undone she flung it away without breaking the kiss. Her shirt followed soon after and then Alice's flew through the air.

They undressed each other fast and rough, never denying the urgency they both felt. Natalie pushed Alice down on her back, her injury long forgotten. She worked her mouth down Alice's neck, biting her hard, thinking that she will only do the foreplay that's necessary. Megan was the only one with whom she took her time, 'no, now is not the time to think about your wife.' Natalie suppressed the thoughts while she quickly kissed down Alice's body. Spending the minimal time on her perfectly light and puffy pink nipples, working her way down to what she wanted to taste at this moment. There was no teasing, no beating around the bush. She immediately started working Alice's clit while working three fingers deep inside her.

"Oh God," Alice moaned loudly, digging her nails deeply into Natalie's back.

Natalie used brutal force, her anger and depression being let out. She had a rhythm, her knuckles slamming into Alice's labia with each forceful thrust. Alice loved the pain and it drove her over the edge completely. Natalie added another finger, curling her thumb and forming a fist, she thrust hard and her fist went into Alice up to her wrist. Without giving Alice time to adjust she thrust harder and harder until Alice drew blood by digging her nails deep into Natalie's back. Every time Alice would experience an orgasm bright colors would explode in front of her, causing everything to appear in technicolor.

She stopped counting how many times she came, even forgetting who it was between her legs, until Natalie moved up from between her legs and rested her body weight on top of her. Natalie kissed Alice while she started grinding her hips into Alice, hard and rough, desperate for release. Alice easily picked up Natalie's rhythm and Natalie exploded the moment Alice's pubic bone came onto contacted with her clit. They fucked for hours until they felt the effects of the drug subside.

"Wow," Alice said breathlessly.

"I swear I saw stars," Natalie responded.

"The rush is gone, but what a rush it was," Alice smiled.

"I can't believe this just happened," Natalie said avoiding eye contact.

"Oh God, we totally screwed up," Alice replied shocked.

"Jesus, we did yes. Let's just forget it happened," Natalie said fighting tears.

"Probably the best," Alice said swiping a tear from her eye.

"What time is it?" Natalie asked with a yawn.

"It's half past six," Alice said, not realizing how much time had gone by.

"Shit, Kaz and Dev are going to be here soon," Natalie rushed to shower and Alice did the same, knowing that Devon and Kaz would be over at any moment. Natalie couldn't decide whether or not she regretted what had happened, but realized that she did need it. She was still feeling the effects of the rocks and weed but at a lower intensity. She stood in the shower, water running over her body. She got out and dried off, she barely got into her sweatpants and shirt and refastened her sling before Kaz came into her room.

Chapter Nineteen August 2006

The night resumed as normal with idle chat and food. Alice had disappeared before Natalie came out of her room. Natalie wondered what damage had been done to their friendship by this sudden drug infused act. Those thoughts soon disappeared when she got into her bed lying next to Megan's photo. Regret coursed through her, yet she knew that she had to take the necessary steps to overcome her agony. Megan was gone, she could not deny it anymore. There she was in her bed alone again. Natalie was a hollow shell, one filled by ghosts that haunted her entire being. Soon Natalie fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The following morning Natalie awoke to the sound of the alarm. She pressed the button and turned to go back to sleep. Not long after Kaz entered the room and placed a steaming cup of coffee on the pedestal.

"Your appointment is in an hour, come on, let's get those staples and stitches removed," Kaz said.

"Sleep," was all Natalie mumbled in return. Her back was throbbing where Alice had dug her nails into Natalie's skin, her abdomen muscles ached from the excursion and her head felt like I would easily split in two.

"Come on, Nat," Kaz said shaking her friend.

Reluctantly Natalie sat up, her eyes burning and her head heavy. She sipped her coffee, showered, got dressed and they were on their way to the hospital again. Dr. Simons walked toward them and Natalie once again marveled at her beauty.

"Hey Nat, how are you doing today?" she asked, smiling sincerely.

"Surviving I suppose," Natalie said in response.

Natalie followed the doctor to a room and sat on the bed. Dr. Simons helped her remove her shirt and gently made her lie back so she could get to work. They made small talk during the procedure and Natalie felt each staple and stitch leave her body.   

"These are going to be ugly scars," Dr. Simon's said, looking at the toned body before her.

"Shit happens," was all Natalie said.

Dr. Simons felt a sudden urge to comfort and protect the woman lying before her. She wanted to kiss the pain away and hold this broken woman close while wiping away her tears. Dr. Simons had to shake her head to return her thoughts to present. Natalie dressed and they left the room together.

"Thank you, Dr. Simons," Kaz said hugging the doctor.

"It's a pleasure and call me Ashley," she responded with a soft smile.

They made some more small talk and soon they left. Once home Kaz had to go to work and Alice came over. At first things were awkward, but soon they returned to their usual routines. Soon they went to the dealer again, this time however Natalie needed something stronger and bought heroin, much to Alice's dismay.

The heroin had been cleaned and all they had to do was heat it and inject. They put about 2 grams of powder on a teaspoon, holding a lighter beneath it to warm it and turn it to liquid. Once it bubbled Natalie took a syringe and sucked half of it into the syringe. She attached the needle, tied a strap around her arm to get a vein and injected the brown liquid into her veins. Alice did the same and soon they were both lost in their high.




Junky Chronicles Ch. 03



Sorry for the delay in part three, it was truly difficult to write for me. 

A little warning, make sure you are wearing your seatbelts for this one, it gets dark. I recently had a little experience of my own and realized that what Natalie goes through isn't easy at all. Drugs are not something that people should try. I traveled to my hometown for New Years to be with all of my friends, but so much has changed. Turns out some of them developed a little habit of their own, the changes that took place in them as people scared me. I also realized that I couldn't possibly be a friend like Devon or Kaz to them, the people influencing turned out to be more important than my friendship.

I, however, did do some experimentation of my own and the regret was immediate the next day. I didn't like what it did to me and the person it made me. I also realized that people don't all have the willpower I had to vow to never do it again.

What I am trying to say is, don't get involved with drugs, it is not worth it. The cost is higher than anyone realizes and I am lucky enough to have a friend that slapped me and told me that she'd kick my ass if I ever did anything like that again. The real life Kaz, I owe her so much already and I know that I would do the same for her. Some friendships are worth fighting for, but like the friends in my hometown, it's better to cut your losses and move on.

As always, props to my editor LarasCasse, whom inspired me but did not have the available time to do the editing and my girl, who has inspired me tremendously in the duration of my writing of part three.

As usual, feedback is appreciated. I also want to share something I read with all of you. It just suits everything that has recently happened in both my and Natalie's lives so well.

Enjoy

SAbith xxx

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the friendship to an end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled and their work is done. They prayer you sent up has been answered and it is time to move on.

Some people come into our life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. 

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it; it is real, but only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.

Today, thank the person who in one way or another has been part of your life, even if in a small way you can make them feel that you are indeed thankful for their presence as well as the beautiful moments they have given. No matter if they are your reason, season or lifetime." – Unknown.

Chapter Twenty One  August 2006 - December 2006 

Natalie and Alice's lives had become a constant rollercoaster alternating between highs and lows, bends from left to right and it always ended on the same spot, where it had begun. Megan's death had set the rollercoaster in motion and it was where it stopped, refueled and started the same journey again. Everyday it was the same thing, Alice went to work, craving heroin and Natalie every second. She loved being Megan in Natalie's eyes, the attention and love that Natalie bestowed upon her while believing that her wife never died. It started as an attempt to give Natalie a little bit of heaven back, but it escalated and now Alice found herself tangled in a web, pray to a spider that slowly tore her apart and feasted on her weakness. 

Natalie still stayed home, so lost in the sea of heroin and her own world of illusion and fantasy that she didn't know what was real and what was fantasy. The only thing that mattered was her time that she got to spend with Megan. She lived and breathed for that fantasy, spending her heroin infused days waiting for Megan to come home. They would do a hit of heroin, talk about their days and make love for the remainder of the night. If Natalie was in any decent frame of mind she would easily see that even this fantasy was far from the life she had shared with the real Megan. But this illusion was all that Natalie had, she convinced herself, like Alice, that this was good. She felt real when she was on her heroin high, but soon she had gotten so caught up in the world she created that it became her very existence. Natalie was a junky, addicted to both heroin and the fantasy it created, what she didn't realize was that heroin no longer induced the illusion, it was her. 

Kaz saw a change in Natalie, but she didn't notice how those changes was a simple cry for help. Her pregnancy went well so far, her and Ben's marriage returned to its normal state of bliss. She thought and truly believed that Alice had found a way to get Natalie back, slowly. In a time of bereavement one finds comfort in a different place than where would be expected. Kaz was so happy that they had a tiny bit of Natalie back that she had overlooked how deeply troubled Natalie truly was. 

Devon had taken the time to try and save his vastly failing relationship, Michelle was convinced that Devon was in love with Natalie and was using Megan's death to win her back. Yes, he was still in love with Natalie, but he wasn't trying to win her back. Michelle simply refused to believe him, he was on the end of his rope, and he wondered if this relationship was worth saving. All he found himself thinking about was Danni, he hadn't seen her since they had signed on as the conservators of Natalie's business and finances. He too, was too caught up in the situation of his own life to notice Natalie's vast downward spiral. She deceived them, making them believe that she was healing. He thanked Alice for helping his friend when he couldn't. 

The heroin affected Natalie differently sometimes, most times she was tender and loving, and other times she was rough and urgent. Alice enjoyed both, always finding herself jealous of the intense relationship and sex life that Natalie had once shared with Megan. Back when Natalie was still Natalie and not this desperate woman trying to hold on to what she had lost. Alice walked through the door of Natalie's mansion, the smell of food in the air. She walked into the kitchen and noticed the chicken roasting in the oven, rice boiling and vegetables on the side to be cooked later. 

"Hey baby girl," Natalie smiled, walking over to kiss who she believed was Megan. 

"Hey, baby. That smells great," Megan said kissing her tenderly. 

"Hmm, I thought I would spoil you a bit," Natalie led her to a chair. 

Natalie heated the heroin, drawing it into the syringe, attaching a new needle and tying a band around her arm. Alice did the same, they each found a vein and pushed the needle into their skin. With soft pressure they released the brown liquid into their veins. After a few minutes the effects started kicking in. Natalie finished cooking while Alice went to shower, when she returned they ate and shared a hearty conversation about their day. Natalie saw Megan, she never saw Alice anymore, she believed it so hard and depended on it so much that she didn't have to be high to see her wife as the person close to her. Natalie kissed her with a roughness and urgency, like when she and Megan would whenever they smoked marijuana together. 

Megan felt the urgency and returned it with every ounce of energy she could muster. She dug her nails into Natalie's neck, drawing her closer and closer to her own body. There was no pretending, no holding back, just an urge and a need that had to be satisfied. Natalie had an undeniable need for release and closeness, she quickly reached for the hem of Megan's shirt and yanked it over her head. Throwing it into a corner and pulling her close again, her hands roughly grabbing every inch of available skin. Megan's moaned into Natalie's mouth, the rough touching turning her on more than she thought possible.

She ripped Natalie's dress shirt open, buttons flying everywhere, she pulled it down her shoulders and immediately removed her sports bra. Natalie removed every clothing item from Megan's body, when they were both naked Natalie picked her up, Megan locked her legs around Natalie's waist. Megan started grinding against Natalie's torso, her movements fast and desperate, she needed the release. Natalie let her grind for a while, Megan's breathing became ragged, she broke the kiss and rested her head on Natalie's shoulder, her eyes closed and her movements fast.

Megan dug her nails into Natalie back, an overwhelming orgasm overtook her, her nails dug deeper and dragged along Natalie bare skin while her body twitched. The climax seemed to be prolonged, Megan let out a loud yelp and sunk her teeth into Natalie's neck, drawing a tiny amount blood. The orgasm subsided and Megan's body went limp in Natalie arms, Natalie laid her carefully on the kitchen counter, spreading her legs. Megan's arousal seeped from her core and Natalie immediately and greedily closed her mouth around Megan's sex, sucking hungrily to extract as much of the heavenly water as possible.

Megan's breathing increased again, hardly having had time to come down from her state of euphoria. Natalie bit down on her swollen lips and that sent Megan over the edge again, before Megan had time to breath she locked her lips around Megan's hard clit, she sucked it in deeply, running her tongue over the nub. She inserted to fingers into Megan's core, pumping hard and fast. Megan ground against the movements, two fingers became three, the speed and roughness never decreasing. Natalie's fingers touched Megan's g-spot, sending her over the edge for the third time.

Natalie didn't stop, she added another finger, her actions more desperate and rough with each thrust while Megan whimpered loudly. Before Megan knew what was happening Natalie formed a fist with her hand and gave one hard thrust, her fist sunk in to her wrist. She felt the pressure around her wrist, moving her wrist in circles to allow Megan to get used the feeling. Megan had never felt so full and powerless in her life, every movement sending sparks into her brain and every inch of her body. Natalie moved slowly for a few seconds, picking up pace again, she looked at Megan's face, contorted in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

Megan looked down into those crystal blue eyes, a look of primal lust in them. Natalie smiled and thrusted harder, faster and more urgently, Megan squeezed her eyes shut, her mouth open. She gave in to every new sensation she felt, her orgasm building slowly in her. Her muscles still twitched from the previous orgasms, sparks exploded behind her closed eyelids, her brain and trying to prepare for the major onslaught that was to come.

The orgasm overtook her, her body shook violently and her voice caught in her throat, she was unable to breathe while the climax coursed through her body. Natalie felt her sex clench around her wrist, making movement difficult, Megan seemed lost in the feeling of euphoria, every muscle tensing and her hands desperately seeking for something to grab onto. The climax went on and on, Natalie never slowing her movements, black spots appeared before her, growing bigger with each passing second until it overcame her completely and she felt limp on the counter. Natalie felt the muscles that had clenched her wrist relax and saw Megan breathing deeply.

Natalie pulled her fist from Megan, gently cleaning the juices that still flowed and looked at her sleeping beauty. She still wanted to do so much more, but she couldn't push Megan any further, at least not tonight. She picked the passed out Megan up and carried her to their bed.

Alice woke up hours later, to the sound of the alarm shrilling, she turned to switch it off. Her movements caused her pain, every muscle in her body hurt and when she brought her legs closer together it sent a pain up her torso. She reached the alarm and switched it off, falling onto her back again when the noise became silence. A smile crept over her lips the moment her memories from the previous night came to mind. She had never felt anything like what Natalie's had coaxed from her. The pain that she felt today was worth every second, she wondered how she would walk and do her work. Alice figured a few painkillers and staying behind her desk for the day would soothe the pain.

She looked over at the sleeping Natalie, marveling once again at how beautiful she truly was, Alice knew in that moment that she truly loved Natalie and also that Natalie would never truly love her. Natalie loved the illusion of Megan that Alice represented and for now Alice was more than willing to live with it, if that was the only love that she could get from the woman that she had loved for so long then she would take it gladly.

Chapter Twenty Two   21 December 2006

Devon walked into Natalie's house, it was quiet so he assumed that she was still sleeping, He had to talk to her, he and Michelle had just broken up and he needed the one person he trusted with his life. He turned toward the stairs and slowly made his way up, he reached her closed door and softly knocked, "Hey Nat, its Devon. I need to talk to you," he turned the knob and slowly opened the door.

Alice froze, Devon was not supposed to be here, if he saw this he would flip and take Natalie away from her. There was nowhere that she could run, even if she wanted to, she was frozen in place and Natalie still softly snored next to her. She watched with horror as the door swung open, Devon looked into the room. He looked from Alice to Natalie and back again, his face twisting into anger when the realization hit him. For months he had watched the two together, then he simply believed that Alice helped Natalie heal, but certain actions from Natalie made him uncomfortable.

There were tiny things that he never made anything of, but seeing this he understood it all clearly. Alice had wormed her way in and somehow created the illusion of Megan in Natalie's mind that was why Natalie sometimes slipped and called Alice by Megan's name or the pet name that Natalie had for her wife.

"What the fuck is going here?" Devon asked between clenched teeth.

"It's not what it looks like," Alice said quickly, pulling the sheets higher.

"Get out of that bed, get dressed and make it quick. WE need to talk," Devon turned and walked out.

Alice was scared, she jumped out of the bed, her pain and discomfort long forgotten as she hurried to get dressed. She almost ran down the stairs and found Devon in the kitchen, looking at the clothes that still lay all over the place. He felt a rage he hadn't felt before, how could Alice do this? Does she not realize that she was ruining Natalie's life? He's thoughts rushed through his head, each fighting for consideration, but all he felt was rage. He walked to the other side of the kitchen, what he saw there sent him over the edge. There lay needles and a powder substance in a small bag. At first he didn't grasp what it was, he looked at it and the full realization of what was truly going on hit him like a speeding train. He turned around and looked Alice in the eye.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" he asked venomously.

"Devon, please I can explain. It is helping Natalie, don't you see that she is happy again? I was helping her," Alice shouted almost hysterically.

"How is feeding he drugs making anything better? What is wrong with you? Did you think before you started this little experiment? Natalie is not living! She is trying to hold on to what she lost," he spat back at her.

Alice broke down in tears, she fell to her knees and sobbed. Devon felt no remorse for her, how could she ruin his friend's life like this? Why didn't she come and ask for help or told them what was going on?

"I want to know everything," Devon said in a cold voice.

Before Alice could speak Kaz walked into the kitchen, Devon had phoned her in a panic and she rushed over. Her stomach had grown and a tin bump was now clearly visible, she was almost five months along. Kaz looked at Devon, dread filled her heart when she looked at the clothes that was splayed over the floor and the needles and bag that Devon had placed on the counter.

Alice saw no way out, she was scared, so she spoke between her sobs. She told them everything, from the first time that they had smoked rocks to Natalie's first use of heroin. She told them about the hallucination and illusion that Natalie had lived in since. She tried to justify her actions by telling them that she had truly believed that she was helping Natalie, but neither believed her. All they saw was the actions of a desperate woman who would do anything to be loved by the woman who could never love her.

"How could you do this to someone you claim to love and care about?" Kaz asked in an emotionless voice.

"I thought I was helping! But I got hooked too and I lost control of the situation," Alice said still sobbing.

"Alice, we all smoke weed together, to relax or share a good laugh. When we do it we never do anyone harm and we all vowed that we would never do anything to hurt the other. What you don't realize is that you did irreparable damage to Natalie, she is not healing. The drugs and you are making her live a tortured existence, you are not Megan and you will never be. No one will ever be, Natalie does not love you the way you want her to and she never will. She had given everything she had to Megan, she will never love anyone that way again. You are an illusion to her, do you truly believe that, that is helping her? Never moving forward, stuck in the same place of her life forever? You should have come to us," Devon said on the brink of tears.

"I love her and I would do anything to see her smile," Alice retorted angrily.

"If you really love her, you will leave now and never speak to her again while we try to fix the damage that you had done," Kaz said coldly.

"Leave Alice, NOW!" Devon added.

Alice scrambled to her feet and ran to the door. She got in her car and drove to her house, tears nearly blinding her. She didn't know how, but she arrived home safely, walking through her front door she felt her life falling to pieces. She immediately made her way to her own stash of heroin, heating up enough for four people. She pulled it into the needle, injecting herself over and over again.

Natalie woke up and made her way downstairs, still in desperate need of release. She hoped she would catch Megan before work for quick release. She walked into her kitchen and saw Kaz and Devon standing there, waiting. She looked at them and down at the needles that they had lying before them. She immediately filled with dread, knowing that they had discovered her secret.

"Where's Megan?" she asked, that was all that mattered.

"She is dead, Nat. She has been for six months," Devon answered.

"If you mean Alice, she left," Kaz added.

Natalie looked at them, confused, "but Alice was here the other day, she and Megan still talked and laughed."

"Because you believe that she is Megan, Nat," Kaz said looking at her intently.

Natalie looked at them, wondering how they could possibly think that Megan was Alice. How can they mistake the two? She didn't care, she turned and walked away, she knew where to find her wife. Devon followed Natalie, wanting to stop her from leaving as she grabbed her keys. He took her arm and swung her toward him, "we need to talk."




Junky Chronicles Ch. 03



Natalie reacted almost instantly, she punched him, breaking his nose and walked out the door. She raced to Alice's house, she just knew that Megan would be with Alice after the rejection her friends had clearly shown her. Natalie barged through Alice's door, finding Alice sitting on the couch with a large glass of wine and a disembodied look in her eyes. Sweat glistened on every inch of her skin that was visible, her face pale and her hands shaking, almost spilling the dark red liquid. She lifted the glass to her lips, still unaware of Natalie's presence. 

''Baby girl?'' Natalie asked gently. 

Alice looked at her, her eyes looking but not seeing, ''What are you doing here?'' 

''I love you, baby girl. Of course I would come, what they said baby girl, it's no true. I love you and you are the only thing that matters to me,'' Natalie pleaded. 

''No, Nat they were right. Every single word they said was true, Nat open your eyes, see what is in front of you instead of what you want to see,'' Alice said, her mind and body still removed. Her pulse was racing, her body burning and all she wanted to do was sleep, her whole body told her to simply close her eyes, it would be better that way, but Natalie was not supposed to be here, she was not supposed to see this. 

Natalie took her in her arms, holding the shaking body close, ''What is there to see but my love for you? Baby girl, nothing matters but you,'' Natalie looked into what she still believed to be Megan's eyes, pulling those lips up to her own. 

Natalie kissed her softly, her lips molding to those of her love, moving in a dance that she so loved and cherished. She put her soul into that one kiss. Alice kissed back with her last bit of energy, feeling her both her body and mind leaving her. She used what she had left to show Natalie how much she loved her and how much Megan had loved her, soon this would be over, everything will end. 

''Leave Nat, before it's too late. Just leave,'' Alice breathed, lowering her head, barely able to hold her own wait. Her knees gave way and she plummeted to the ground. 

''What did you do? MEGAN! Answer me, baby girl, what did you do?'' Natalie asked frantically, on the verge of hysteria. 

''It doesn't matter, just go Natalie. I beg you to leave,'' Alice whispered, barely audible. Her eyes were closing and she felt herself fading fast. 

''Stay with me baby girl, I'm calling an ambulance,'' Natalie said, unable to fight the tears that flowed freely. 

''NO! Natalie let me go, what we did to try and save what you and Megan had was a disaster. I am not her, I will never be. It's over now, let it be,'' Alice's eyes shut, her breathing became shallow and Natalie sat next to her, watching the life fade from her. 

Her brain refused to accept what Alice had said, she still saw her wife. Natalie loved her too much to let go and too much to deny her what he had asked for. She held onto the lifeless body, crying silently for the love that she had lost once again. She was unable to save her wife for a second time and guilt filled her being. Natalie had sworn to protect her no matter what and her she was for the second time, holding her wife and the illusion of her wife, unable to do anything but watch her fade. 

That was a pain Natalie could not bear, the last pieces of a dream died in her arms. She sobbed body rattling tears, never once letting go of what she believed to be her wife. Not long after Devon and Kaz walked through the door into a scene that shattered their lives for the second time in six months. They acted quick, phoning an ambulance and attempting to drag Natalie away. She refused to let go, she believed that it was their fault that her wife was now gone forever. In that moment she hated them with everything in her. 

''You killed her,'' Natalie said in a cold voice. She looked into the familiar faces but no longer recognized them. 

Neither responded, they knew that all three of them played equal parts in the events that led to the death of their friend. There was nothing that could ever change that, they now had to face the consequences of their actions and pray that they survive them. When the EMTs' arrived Natalie finally let go, they gave their statements to the police and when Natalie as done she left. Kaz and Devon were still giving statements, Natalie gave them one last look and got in her car. She drove to her house, packed her bags and a few pictures of her and Megan together, loaded it in the trunk of her car and started driving to nowhere in particular. She drove to wherever the road may take her, as long as it was far from where she was. 

Natalie drove for hours, through small towns and green scenery, up and down mountains, still unsure of here the road and her subconscious mind was taking her. The highway got busy, cars piling at intersections and the air stuffy and hot. Her skin felt sticky in the change of climate and she realized where she was and where she was headed next. Durban, the city where she and Megan had gotten married, they had the family private beach set up and had said their vows under a gazebo. Natalie kept driving until she entered Ballito, a few more turns and she drove into her family estate. She walked next door and retrieved the spare keys from the neighbors. She entered the large, empty mansion. No sign of life simply furniture and family pictures hanging on the walls. 

Chapter Twenty Three 10 June 2006 

Natalie came home, teddy bear and roses in hand, she walked through the door, a massive grin on her face. Megan came from the kitchen and for a second simply stared at her wife, it has been six years and Natalie still took her breath away. She had also realized that Natalie still amazed her everyday, never letting up on letting her wife know that she was the only woman for her. It's easy to take these things for granted because you get used to it, but Megan always appreciated every small gesture. 

''Hey, baby girl,'' Natalie beamed, ''I found this teddy and it will look so nice in Logan's room.'' 

''That's if we have space for him in the room after everything you have bought,'' Megan said laughingly, circling her arms around Natalie's waist. '

'Then we'll make the room bigger, oh and these are for you,'' Natalie said showing the flowers to Megan. 

''I was hoping for a kiss, but thank you,'' Megan reached up and softly kissed Natalie. Natalie touched Megan's belly, at eight months pregnant she looked more beautiful than ever. She bent down and kissed her belly. 

''Hey buddy, your mommy and I can't wait to meet you. Oh and I need to ask you to stop kicking mommy on her bladder. It's disturbing when she runs to bathroom every five minutes,'' Natalie teased while rubbing Megan's belly. 

''Hey!'' Megan protested playfully, running her fingers through the kneeling Natalie's hair. 

Natalie stood up and took Megan's face in her hands, ''God, Love you so much.'' 

''And I love you,'' Megan smiled and kissed Natalie. Natalie pulled her closer, feeling the bump of their unborn son pushing into her own stomach. Her hands traveled down to Megan's ass, squeezing it tightly and pulling her in closer. Megan got lost in the kiss; she felt a wetness growing between her thighs and a need of closeness that she only felt with Natalie. 

''Baby, your parents are going to be here any time now,'' Megan protested. 

Natalie looked at her watch, ''we have an hour.''


"Baby, I have to finish the food," Megan mumbled while Natalie nibbled on her neck, "Oh God."

"Not... Stopping... Need... Loving... From... You," Natalie said back between kisses.

Megan pulled Natalie closer, her defenses broken down and she gave in to the sensations that Natalie was creating in her body. Natalie scooped Megan up in her arms and carried her to their room, she laid her pregnant wife down and took her own shirt off. Megan raised herself to touch Natalie's bare skin, loving the warmth that always inanimate from her. Natalie reached down and pulled Megan's shirt off and removed her bra, her breasts had grown from a B cup to a full C and Natalie absolutely loved their weight and tenderness. Without hesitation Natalie sucked a nipple into her mouth, her hand reaching for the other one. Megan was already panting, her breasts were extra sensitive and under Natalie ministrations she was sure she would go over the edge in no time.

Natalie's lips were soft on her nipples and the soft biting created a contrast that set fireworks off in Megan's body and mind. She started bucking her hips, desperately seeking for any contact to her throbbing pussy. Natalie was beside her, not wanting to create any pressure on her baby bump and this frustrated Megan. But before she could give it too much thought Natalie switched breasts and Megan clutched her head to her breast, only allowing her enough space to breathe and then colorful shapes appeared before her eyes and she was panting desperately. An orgasm rocked through her body, her hips bucked wildly and her voice caught in her throat.

Megan pulled Natalie's face up to her own and kissed her tenderly, Natalie's hands roaming over the cocoon of their unborn son. She kissed down Megan's neck, collarbone and planted a quick peck on each breast. She stopped at Megan's baby bump, wearing her largest smile she kissed the bump.

"Hey, buddy. For the next part you need to close your eyes and ears, your mommy tends be a little loud and I don't want you to be deaf," Natalie smiled and looked at Megan.

"HEY! You can't tell those things to him," Megan said laughingly, still anticipating what she new was to come.

"I have to warn him," Natalie joked back.

"Yeah, yeah," Megan smiled and ran her hands through her lover's hair.

Natalie placed her lips on the belly one more time before continuing her journey. She undid Megan's jeans and pulled her underwear off along with the jeans, kissing down Megan's leg, she threw the clothes into a corner and made her journey back up the other leg. Her hands massaged Megan's thighs and pulled them apart a little bit more, her tongue snake out of her mouth and around Megan's clit. She was immediately rewarded with a sharp intake of breath.

Megan laid her head back and tried to prepare herself for the onslaught that was to come. Her hands clasped the sheets when Natalie flicked her clit, sending new sensations through her nerve-endings. Natalie ran two fingers up and down Megan's slit while running her tongue over her clit, when her fingers were dripping with Megan's juices, she slowly entered Megan.

"Oh fuck," Megan panted.

Natalie pumped her fingers in and out of Megan, slowly and tenderly at first, picking up pace as Megan's breathing quickened. Megan felt a massive orgasm build within her, she lifted her hips and bucked them wildly. She rode Natalie's face and fingers until she saw stars and screamed incoherently. But she knew her lover, this was simply the beginning. Natalie didn't stop and drove Megan to three more orgasms before letting up and giving her lover a shiny and toothy grin. Megan's hair tuck to her forehead from the excursions, beads of sweat all over her body. Natalie kissed their son one more time and planted her wet face on Megan's for a deep kiss.

"My turn," Megan declared, "come on, get up here. You know the drill."

Natalie removed the remainder of her clothing, got on her knees and lowered herself on Megan's face, always careful when doing so. Megan hooked her arms around Megan's thighs and pulled her lover down onto her over-eager mouth. Megan wasted no time and lavished her lover's pussy almost immediately, her tongue worked feverishly on Natalie's clit and Natalie was panting heavily, holding onto the headboard for support. Megan's tongue traveled lower and entered Natalie, she pumped her tongue in and out while her fingers stimulated Natalie's clit. Natalie's knuckles turned white as she grabbed onto the headboard, trying to avoid falling over. Before long she was gasping while an orgasm racked through her, causing her to tremble.

Megan helped her trembling lover down and lied down beside her, wrapping her arms around Natalie and holding her close while the aftermath of the orgasm subsided.

"God, you're good at that," Natalie declared when she found her voice again.

"I had a great teacher," Megan said kissing her wife.

Their moment was interrupted by the doorbell and Megan looked at Natalie shocked, "shit baby! They're here and I can't answer the door looking like this."

Natalie laughed, "God, I love how you still get nervous when my parents come over. I'll get the door, you go shower so long."

Natalie got up and started putting her clothes on while Megan rushed into the bathroom. She smiled to herself, she was still as in love with her like the first day. She rushed down the stairs and opened the door for her family. Her father gave her the 'I know what you were doing before we got here' look and her mother wanted to kiss her, but Natalie quickly turned her cheek. She thought it might be weird to kiss her mother with the remnants of her and Megan's love making still on her lips.

"Hi guys, come in," Natalie said happily.

"Why don't you want to kiss your mother?" Heather asked, eyeing her daughter.

"Uhm, I uhm, haven't brushed my teeth," Natalie said blushing.

Brian burst out laughing and hugged his daughter, "was it good?"

"It always is, dad," Natalie smiled.

She greeted her grandmother and led them to the kitchen so they could each grab something to drink and settled in the living room.

"Where's Megan?" Helen asked.

"She's making herself look pretty for you guys," Natalie smiled.

"Oh, so tell me, what is the expected birth date?" her mother asked, beaming with the excitement of becoming a grandmother.

"18 July, I can't wait anymore," Natalie said almost jumping up and down on the couch.

Helen smiled, she loved seeing her granddaughter so happy, but she still couldn't shake this feeling that has been creeping around inside her for the last week. It was not a good feeling and she was scared for her family, somehow she knew that this was going to affect them all, but she feared for Natalie the most. She could not describe the feeling if she tried, but she knew in her heart that something was wrong.

Megan came down the stairs a few moments later, Brian immediately got up to greet his daughter, "you are just as beautiful as Heather when she was pregnant," he said and kissed her.

"Thanks dad," she smiled and greeted her mother next, "you are simply glowing," Heather smiled.

"Thanks mom, you look great," Megan responded and accepted a hug from Helen.

Natalie kissed her blushing wife and ran upstairs to have her own shower. A feeling of dread overcame her, this feeling had been stalking her for a week now, but tonight it was stronger, almost overwhelming her. She pushed the thoughts aside and continued her shower. She wasn't going to give this feeling space, not tonight. Her family was here and she planned on having a good time with them.

When she came back downstairs her family was in the kitchen, her grandmother came to her and lowered her voice, "Nat, something is not right."

"I feel it too, ouma. But there's nothing we can do about it. It scares me," Natalie said truthfully.

"You just protect your wife, she loves you. Come, let's go eat," Helen said and led her to the kitchen.

Now Natalie couldn't fight the dread, it filled her very being. She walked to Megan and kissed her, "I love you so much."

Megan kissed her again, "and I love you, baby."

The doorbell rang and Natalie looked around the room, "it's probably Devon or Kaz."

She opened the door and saw three men in skim asks standing by the door, the one pushed her inside and spoke, "you took her from me and now you will pay."

Natalie tried to think desperately, she had to warn her family to get away, she prepared to move and then a gun was pushed into her face. The other two stood by his side and watched, "I was supposed to have married her, not you. You ripped my life apart," suddenly Natalie recognized him.

She had never met Shaun, but she knew all too well how upset he was when Megan left him. All she could think about was getting a warning to her family, "well, here we are. Leave the gun and let's have a fair fight."

"Oh, I don't intend on fighting, I am going to kill you after I make you watch Megan die. Homosexuality is a sin and you dragged a beautiful and innocent woman into your world of sin," he said in cold voice.

"Natalie? Who's there?" Brian asked and walked into the living area. He froze in his tracks, the man with Shaun raised his pistol and fired one shot, straight into Brian's heart. He collapsed onto the ground, blood pouring from the wound and pooling around him.

The rest of Natalie's family rushed to the sound and Natalie ran to her father, "dad! Dad, stay with me!"

Natalie looked up and saw the shocked faces of her family, her mother collapsed next to her, sobbing over her husband's body. Another shot echoed in the room and Heather collapsed over husband's body. Natalie's brain stopped working and another shot echoed, Helen fell to the floor, her body limp.

Natalie stepped in front of Megan, trying to protect her. Megan's face was pale, she stood frozen on the spot. Shaun removed his mask, "I want you to see my face when I kill both of you."

"This is between me and you Shaun. Let Megan go," Natalie pleaded.

"NO! This is both your faults and you will both pay for your sin," he said raising his pistol.

BANG! Natalie felt the burning in her arm, she fell to the floor involuntarily and a second shot echoed from the pistol. Natalie lay there and watched Megan fall to the floor, blood seeping from her stomach, her own wound forgotten she rushed t her wife's side and applied pressure to the wound.

"Look at me, baby girl. Stay with me," Natalie choked up at the sight of the life draining from her wife's face.

"I... Lo... Love... Yo.... You... Fo...For... Ev..." Megan's head fell to the side and her eyes turned glassy.

"I am going to kill you, you motherfucker!" Natalie shouted, but he was one step ahead.

Natalie looked into the barrel and BANG! A bullet pierced her chest and she fell backward next to her wife. The men scrambled out of the house when they heard the approaching sirens and Natalie's world went black.

Chapter Twenty Four 22 December 2006


Natalie woke up in a cold sweat, her body trembling and tears brimming in her eyes. The world came into focus and Natalie's brain started unraveling the events that had led her to Durban. Alice was dead, and it was her fault, she had driven Alice to end her own life. Suddenly she remembered everything with clarity, she reached for her phone and dialed detective du Plessis' number.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Shaun Eckert. He killed my family, he had two friends with him," Natalie said urgently.

"What?" he asked.

"This is Natalie Scott, and I just told you who killed my family. Now stop fucking around and go get him," Natalie disconnected the call and made one more phone call.

She phoned Devon and told him the same, she hung up before he could ask too many questions and threw a jacket on. 'Heroin, I need a fix,' was her only thought, tears staining her face, she needed to forget and heroin made her forget. Her emotions were blocked, no tears came and no sadness felt. She knew that if she didn't get a fix she would experience withdrawal symptoms and every single emotion that she has managed to block will come down on her like a ton of bricks and crush her under its weight. She simply couldn't let it happen, she wouldn't allow herself to feel even a fraction of the pain she felt when her family died.

Finding a dealer in big cities was easy, she drove to the main beach in Durban, parked her car and called to a car guard. He came running, any opportunity to make some quick cash was a God send to them.




Junky Chronicles Ch. 03



"Hi boss," he said with a toothy grin. Natalie hated them calling her mme, a sotho word for mother but used as a form of respect.

"Can you get me a fix?" she asked eyeing him.

"What you need?" his smile grew at the prospect.

"I want smack, now," her sunglasses were hiding her face and to onlookers it would seem as though she simply asking about some tourist attractions.

"I go get for you, how much you need?" he asked eagerly.

"Get about five grams. But I want to see the stock before I pay. So you must take me to the main man," Natalie knew how it went. They ask for the money upfront and bring you an artificial mixture of what you desire.

"You follow me," he said when Natalie stuffed a hundred rand note in his hand.

They crossed the street, Natalie following some distance behind. They entered an apartment building, the place was worn down and dirty. How people could possibly live like that always boggled Natalie's mind. On the third floor the car guard knocked on the door, a short exchange was given in Zulu and the door swung open.

"They got what you need," he said and started to turn.

"Thank you," Natalie mumbled and entered.

The door closed behind her and one of the men inside started to unpack the heroin. Natalie inspected each and decided on the most pure one that the guy had. They exchanged and five minutes later Natalie was exiting the building. She found her car and drove back to her house. There she followed the familiar routine, before she knew it she had prepared a dose for two people, she simply looked at it and still she experienced no emotion. She packed the second syringe away with the rest of the smack in a drawer, grabbing a beer from the fridge she made her way to the couch and simply soaked in the effects.

After about two beers and an hour later the sun had already set and Natalie decided to change and hit up the club scene. She went through the bag that she had thrown clothes into, she pulled out jeans and a black tank top. After she discarded the clothes she had on she changed and put her shoes on, she styled her hair roughly and headed for the door. She got in the mustang her parents bought her, music blared and she dropped the clutch, hit the acceleration and sped of toward the heart of the city. After a forty minute drive she parked in front of a club and headed inside, she paid her entrance fee and immediately heard the trance music blare through the speakers and hundreds of bodies grinding against each other. Each lost inside their own drug induced world that amplified each touch, movement or emotion. Natalie looked out over the floor, it was like watching a large orgy live, no one hid their arousal and grinded against the closest body for release.

Natalie walked over to the bar and ordered a beer, a pretty young woman was standing next to her and she gave Natalie a tempting smile.

"Hi, I'm Susan," she winked at Natalie.

"Natalie, nice to meet you," Natalie responded with a smile.

"Do you want to dance?" she asked and grabbed Natalie's hand before she could respond.

Susan dragged Natalie to an open spot on the dance floor and started grinding against Natalie, who was swept away by the effect of the touch and the music. The effects of the heroin had already decreased and Natalie knew she needed another fix, but Susan was one step ahead of her. Susan placed two ecstasy tablets on her tongue and pulled Natalie in for a kiss, her tongue probed inside of Natalie's mouth and transferred one of the tablets into Natalie's mouth. She pulled away and swallowed, Natalie did the same and took a swig of her beer. They continued to dance and forty minutes later the effects of the ecstasy and booze kicked in. The touch of Susan's body against her own became more pleasurable and Natalie felt the familiar stirring in her loins.

Movement became her best friend, all she wanted to do was fuck and dance, Susan pulled her closer and pressed her pubic bone into Natalie upper leg and increased her movements. Gasps and moans escaped Susan's lips and she dug her nails into Natalie's neck. Natalie pulled her closer and pressed her leg harder into Susan's crotch, moving in time with Susan to increase the pleasure that Susan felt. Their lips locked and Susan's body started spasming as an orgasm coursed through her body, Natalie never decreased her movements and prolonged Susan's climax while deepening the kiss. Gradually Susan's climax subsided and she broke off the kiss, Natalie moved back a bit and undid the zipper on Susan's jeans and without hesitation pushed her hand into her panties.

The panties were damp and her core soaked as Natalie's fingers explored the folds of her pussy, Susan gasped and kissed Natalie again, more urgent this time. More liquid gushed from Susan and Natalie found the opening into her sex. She pushed three fingers inside and let thumb run over Susan's clit. The sudden sensation made Susan bite down on Natalie's lip, she worked her fingers in and out of Susan, her pace increasing with the music. Susan knew she wasn't going to last long with the sudden attack on her pussy, her orgasm was building at a rapid pace and she started bucking her hips t match each thrust by Natalie. Before she knew it she was screaming into Natalie's mouth and her pussy clenched around Natalie's fingers, she pulled away and gasped for air.

"Sweet Jesus," Susan breathed, "let's get something to drink and her head to the VIP section. I think we can get up to a lot more there."

Natalie smiled, she needed release, between the effects of the ecstasy and Susan's grinding she felt like she would spontaneously combust if she didn't get release soon. She gladly followed Susan to the bar, after ordering their drinks they made their way up a few stairs, at the top Susan flashed a ticket that hung around her neck and pulled Natalie inside with her. Inside were women only, deep in a conversation, some kissing each other and others had their hands down each other's pants. Susan pulled her toward a blonde woman sitting on the other side of the room, deep in conversation with another woman.


The blonde woman excused herself from thee conversation when she saw Susan and walked toward them.

"Where the fuck have you been?" she asked ignoring Natalie.

"Downstairs, I wanted to dance and you didn't want to come with me," Susan retorted.

"I was fucking worried! For all I knew someone fucking dragged you away and raped you!" the blonde woman said angrily.

"Well, no one did and I made a new friend," Susan said.

The blonde looked Natalie, apparently trying to judge if Natalie was some sort of serial killer. After about a minute of staring at Natalie she decided that Natalie wasn't going to kill them, "I'm Kerry, nice to meet you," she said extending her hand.

"Natalie," she said taking the offered hand.

"Great, can we get to some drinking now," Susan said heading to the couch in the corner.

Natalie was confused, she thought they were headed somewhere that they could have more sex, instead she meets Susan's friend and ends up sitting on a couch to have more drinks. Natalie shrugged her shoulders and thought what the fuck. A conversation erupted between the three women, mixed with laughter and shooters. All three was drunk when Susan handed each another ecstasy tablet, without thought they swallowed it and talked some more. Natalie felt Susan's hand on her thigh and the hot trail it left on her jeans moved up toward the button and zipper of Natalie's jeans. Without any struggle she undid the button and the zipper, Natalie laid back and spread her legs some more as Susan's hand traveled over her clean shaven pussy and into her folds.

Natalie lost all focus of what was happening around her as Susan's fingers expertly entered her and toyed with her over sensitive clit. Kerry watched as Susan's hand disappeared into Natalie's jeans and felt her pussy clench, she leaned forward and kissed Natalie deeply, while Susan fucked Natalie. Her senses came back to her somewhat and she undid both women's pants, her hands traveling down the saturated panties and into the warm folds beneath. They gasped and Natalie explored the pussies, the palm of her hand running over their clits as her fingers searched for entry. Natalie entered both women at the same time and pumped her fingers in and out of them at the same pace, Kerry's hand went under Natalie's shirt and bra, she started playing with Natalie's nipples.

Susan kissed Natalie's neck, her free hand running up Natalie's torso to her other nipple, she pinched it and Natalie gasped in both pain and pleasure. Her orgasm was building fast, she started bucking her hips and increased the pace of her fingers inside the two women, their hips also bucking wildly. Natalie's orgasm overtook her with a brutal force, hr breath caught in her throat her body went rigid and her fingers curled inside the women, causing it to touch their g-spots and in seconds both tried very hard to keep screams from escaping their mouths. It took them minutes to calm down enough to speak again, each drinking their drinks as though it was their life source.

"Wanna go somewhere a bit more private?" Kerry whispered in Natalie's ear.

"Sounds good. Are you coming?" Natalie asked Susan.

"Nah, Kerry hardly ever finds someone she likes, so I'll give you two some privacy. I am going to go dance," Susan said and kissed Natalie goodbye.

"Seems like it's just me and you then," Kerry said seductively.

Natalie was a little disappointed, she figured that the three of them made a great team, but some one on one time with this blonde sounded just as heavenly to her. Kerry took Natalie's hand after they zipped their jeans up again and led her outside.

"Let's go in my car," Natalie suggested.

"Okay," Kerry followed her and got in.

She gave Natalie directions to her apartment after they concluded that Kerry's apartment was closer. It was a short drive, Natalie parked her car and followed Kerry up the stairs to her apartment, once inside Kerry closed the door and pushed Natalie up against it and kissed her deeply. Running her hands over Natalie's body, she reached for them hem of the tank top and pulled up over Natalie's head.

Chapter Twenty Five 22 December 2006

Kerry pulled back to admire Natalie's body and her hands reached for the scar that ran over Natalie's chest, her fingers tracing the edges of the scar.

"What happened there?" Kerry asked n a whisper.

"Something I don't want to talk about," Natalie said looking down.

"Fair enough," Kerry said and removed her own shirt.

Natalie ran her hands up the smooth and flat stomach and cupped the bra encased breasts in front of her. The nipples hardened immediately at Natalie's touch and Kerry gasped at the feel of the cold hands on her skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps.

"You want some coke?" Kerry asked with her eyes closed.

"If you mean the kind that you snort, then yes," Natalie responded without removing her hands.

"Yeah I meant that kind," Kerry smiled.

She unwillingly pulled away from Natalie's touch and made her way to her bedroom, there she retrieved a small mirror, a blade, some coke and a rolled up fifty rand note. Natalie was sitting on the couch when she came back and she placed the items on the coffee table.

"Make a few lines, I'll get us some beers," Kerry said as she disappeared into the kitchen.

Natalie threw some coke on the mirror and started cutting it and making line on the mirror, she had just finished making about eight lines when Kerry reappeared with two beers in hand.

"I have an idea," Natalie said, "lie on the couch, on your back."

Kerry did as Natalie instructed and watched as Natalie poured the lines onto her stomach, she took the blade and created four lines, accidentally making a small cut on Kerry's stomach. She reached for the fifty rand note and snorted the lines one after the other from Kerry's stomach, when she was done she did the other four lines on the mirror again and pulled Kerry into a sitting position. Kerry then took her turn and snorted the four lines made for her. When she laid back again Natalie noticed the small trickle of blood on Kerry stomach and licked it up, sucking on the wound.

Kerry watched in amazement and remembered a fantasy she had, somehow she knew Natalie would help her realize it. Natalie was completely lost in kissing the smooth skin that covered Kerry's stomach, in the back of the mind she thought that it was weird that she enjoyed the taste of Kerry's blood as much as she did. She looked up at Kerry and saw her smile, she held the blade and made another small cut on her stomach, Natalie immediately went to the wound and eagerly drank up the blood that ran from the wound.

Natalie took the blade and proceeded to make cuts on Kerry body, going to each to drink the new flow of blood, while the other started to bleed again. Kerry raised herself and removed her bra, letting her 36 C breasts fall free and she watched as Natalie's hungry and eager mouth sucked her nipple in. She loved each sensation, the burning that the cuts caused, the roughness as Natalie cupped her other breast and the tender suckling on her nipple. She felt as though she would explode at any moment, she took the blade from Natalie's hand and made a small cut on Natalie's shoulder, sucking every drop of blood she could get to.

"Let's go to my room," Kerry managed to say.

Natalie picked her up in one swift movement and put her down at the door of the bedroom, Kerry quickly removed every item of clothing that Natalie still had on and Natalie proceeded to undress the blonde. They made their way to the bed, kissing passionately until the back of Kerry's knees hit the bed and she fell backward onto the bed. They both laughed and Kerry scooted to the middle of the bed, blade still in hand, she waited for Natalie to join her.

Natalie made her up to Kerry, kissing from her ankles up to her glistening pussy, she wrapped her lips around Kerry's sex lips ad sucked them in hard, which caused Kerry to raise her back from the bed and let out a loud scream. Natalie continued to suck while Kerry cut herself some more, blood mixed with sweat on her body running in tiny streams down her body onto the bed. Natalie turned her attention to the swollen and erect clit and pushed three fingers deep into Kerry. She let another scream escape her lips, her breathing became erratic and she dropped her hand to the bed, grabbing hold of the sheets as she raised herself off of the bed. Kerry grabbed hold of Natalie's hair and pulled her deeper into her pussy and bucked her hips. Riding both Natalie's face and fingers into an earth shattering orgasm.

"FUCK!" was all Kerry shouted repeatedly.

She pulled Natalie up to her by her hair and kissed her deeply, tasting herself on the brunette's lips. Natalie rested her body on top of Kerry's, their sweat mixing and Kerry's blood smearing over Natalie. Kerry's hand traveled the length of Natalie's body and rested between them, her fingers separated Natalie's sex lips and rubbed up and down her folds. Kerry seeked for Natalie's core and pushed two fingers inside her, her hips grinding into Natalie trying to find any form of contact to her clit. Neither women knew what possessed them, whether it was the drugs or the meeting of two damaged souls seeking healing, but they couldn't get enough, no matter how great the orgasm or how sensitive their bodies became they needed more.

Natalie pushed her hips down into Kerry, her thigh moved up until it made contact with Kerry's dripping sex and they moved together. Kerry's fingers still buried deep inside Natalie and with each movement they would hit her g-spot sending tingles through-out Natalie's body. Their movements became more urgent and their breathing increased, before Natalie could mentally prepare herself for the explosion that was about to happen in her body she saw fireworks, her back arched up causing her to press in Kerry harder, Natalie's fingers dug into the mattress and Kerry's nails dug deep into Natalie's skin as her own orgasm overtook her.

They lay together for a while, coming down from the new highs they had pushed each other into, Natalie reached for the blade that was lying on the mattress and started to cut herself the same way as Kerry did. She did not know what possessed her, but seeing the blood flow from her made her realize that she was still alive and the burning caused by the tearing of her skin made her feel something other than the emptiness she had become accustomed to. That pain was real and no illusion, there was no Megan, no Alice, simply a blade tearing through her skin. Kerry leaned over and reached inside the bedside table, Natalie turned to look and saw a harness being pulled from the drawer, attached to it, a large purple cock.

Natalie immediately knew what Kerry wanted and lifted herself to her knees, Kerry help her fastened the straps, while Natalie reached for the lube.

"God, that looks good on you," Kerry commented and settled back onto the bloodstained bed.

"I am going to fuck you until you can't anymore," Natalie said positioning herself between Kerry's legs.

Without warning or hesitation Natalie pushed the entire cock into Kerry, causing her to whimper at the sudden stretch of her pussy. Natalie felt nothing for this woman and the thought that she was causing her pain or discomfort made her feel triumphant in a sense. Finally she could cause someone a fraction of the pain she carried daily, without allowing Kerry anytime to get used the cock she started pounding it in and out of her. All of the rage she carried inside her suddenly had an intended target, she pulled the cock out up to its tip and rammed it into Kerry with a brutal force.

Despite the pain and discomfort that Kerry was experiencing she found herself wanting more, wanting it harder than it was being given to her. Her body moved up with each thrust, Natalie was raised on her arms and stared at Kerry with eyes that didn't see and carried so much pain and coldness that it somehow gave Kerry chills. Yet she found that she loved the ruthless pounding she was receiving, she locked her legs around Natalie's torso, raising her sex more to give Natalie better access.

Natalie blindly kept fucking Kerry, each movement carrying out her anger and depression, Kerry began squirming beneath her, her muscles tensing as her orgasm built to new extremes. If she didn't know any better she would have thought that the force of the fucking she was getting and the enormity of the orgasm building inside her would rip her apart.

"GOD! FUCK! JESUS! YES!" Kerry shouted repeatedly, her screams became incoherent as her orgasm overtook her, momentarily blinding her.

The merciless fucking did not stop for a second as she felt herself being picked up and turned so she was on all fours and her ass in the air. Her arms and legs could barely support her weight, she felt Natalie wrap an arm around her hips and keeping her up while she pounded into her. Orgasm after orgasm ripped through Kerry, each one weakening her more until she finally passed out.

Natalie didn't know how long she fucked Kerry for, she looked onto the unconscious body surrounded by blood, the sheets stained with red and her own blood crystallized on her body. She pulled the strap-on from Kerry with an audible plop, she removed it and started hunting for her clothes. Once she was dressed she walked out of the apartment to her car, on her way down she passed Susan.

"Jesus, did you just finish now?" she asked shocked.

"Uhm, yeah. Your friend is a freaky one," Natalie said and kept walking.

For the first time in five months she felt emotion well up in her, tears threatening to spill as she walked to her car. She needed to get home and get a fix, she refused to feel any pain, she couldn't. She got in her car and sped off, tears blurring her vision as she pushed the car faster and faster. She thought the faster she drove the better the chances of her outrunning the emotions that threatened to overcome her. Then it all went black...




Junky Chronicles Ch. 04



Hey again Litsters!

So you have all been waiting and I am finally ending the wait. Here is the final leg of Natalie, Devon, Kaz and Ashley's journey! You will notice that my writing style is different from the start of the story and the reason is because I have grown as a writer.

To the people who will have a comment about grammar, dude get over it! If you are planning on counting the mistakes, please don't read! Or better yet, her is a math problem for you solve:

Solve the equation

5(-3x - 2) - (x - 3) = -4(4x + 5) + 13

Hopefully after you find the solution you will be over counting the mistakes!

Idrublood, thanks once again for all the help and being my beat reader! It has an advantage, you read it all before anyone else, LOL. Simplydivine24, I hope I didn't disappoint and that you find the final part satisfactory.

To my angel, thanks for keeping me sane during the writer's block and being you!

To everyone else who stuck by me during this journey, thank you! You kept me going when I was ready to give up! Your support means the world to me and I apologize for taking so long, but hopefully you all love it!

Happy Reading!

***********

Chapter 30 Present

Ashley stirred beneath the sheets and her blue eyes fluttered open, immediately searching for Natalie and smiling when she found her sitting in the window seat.

"Why are you all the way over there?" she asked sleepily.

Natalie moved to the bed and sat by Ashley, her fingers running through her blonde hair, "Megan and Caleb were crying so I went to put them back to sleep and then I just started reminiscing and I guess I lost track of time."

Ashley pulled Natalie into bed and wrapped her arms and legs around the toned figure, "get back into bed and cuddle me like you love me."

Natalie laughed and wrapped Ashley tightly in her arms, "is that all I'm good for? Cuddling?"

"Hmmm, I can think of many things you are good at. Like that tongue of yours is insanely talented, those fingers are limber and seem to know just which spot to hit every time," Ashley mumbled and pulled Natalie in for a kiss.

"Is that a hint?" Natalie asked and ran her hand up Ashley's back, around her ribcage and cupped her breast.

"Jesus, that feels good. Do we have time to finish this before the kids wake up?" Ashley asked breathlessly.

"We should, I checked on them twenty minutes ago, but only if you can keep really quiet," Natalie pinched her nipple to emphasize her point and elicited a moan from Ashley.

Ashley planted her lips on Natalie's in a crushing kiss, her leg wrapping tighter against Natalie and her hips grinding at Natalie's pelvis. Natalie pinned Ashley beneath her and started ripping at her own clothes to get as naked as Ashley was. With some help from her wife they quickly removed the offending items and their mouths pulled together again.

Natalie's hand found Ashley's nipple again and gave a strong tug, causing Ashley's back to arch off of the bed and a moan to escape into Natalie's mouth.

"Can you keep those moans under control, love?" Natalie asked, a daring glimmer in her eyes.

"No promises, but I will try, Tiger," Ashley responded breathlessly, her hips gyrating desperately.

Natalie kissed her one last time before moving down her neck, nibbling on the soft flesh there before taking her sensitive earlobe into her mouth. She heard the sharp intake of breath and felt the nails dig into her back, her hand travelled down the taut stomach and found the wet labia. Natalie moaned when she felt how wet her wife was and left the earlobe to nibble on a soft nipple. Ashley's back and hips arched off the bed and a low growl escaped her open lips when she felt the fingers rub her wetness.

Her hands tangled in Natalie's hair while her hips rocked against the exploring fingers. Natalie pushed three fingers into Ashley's wet depths and curved them to find her g-spot, when her fingertips brushed the spongy spot Ashley's hips arched to an uncomfortable angle. The fingers started pumping slowly, teasing the velvety wet flesh surrounding it and rubbing over the spongy area.

"Fuck, yes, right there," Ashley breathed and rocked her hips faster.

She felt the orgasm build within her, like a wave building speed, height and intensity. Natalie pumped faster, her fingers slamming against the wet folds and felt Ashley's muscles clench her fingers and her body grew rigid. Without warning she stopped and removed her fingers.

"What the fuck?" Ashley whined, "I was so close."

Wordlessly Natalie got up and removed the strap-on from its hiding place, smiling at Ashley as she stepped into it. She crawled over Ashley's body and positioned the head at her soaking entrance.

"I want to look into your eyes when I make you cum," Natalie whispered and pushed inside.

The large cock sank away into Ashley, inch by inch disappearing into the wet opening. When her hips touched Ashley's pubic bone she gently started rocking against her, giving Ashley time to get used the large intruder.

"Fuck that feels good," she whispered and bit her lip to avoid moaning, her nails digging into the flesh of Natalie's back.

Their lips met and Natalie increased the velocity of her rocking hips, slamming the cock into Ashley as she felt the tiny nub rub against her hardened clit. The sounds of ragged breaths and the slurping of Ashley's wet labia filled the room as their hips rocked together and their muscles clenched at the impending orgasm. Small waves started rolling over the women and they increased their pace to get closer to their peaks. Without warning Ashley's body went rigid and her back arched off the bed, Natalie covered the open mouth with her own and swallowed the strangled scream that escaped them. Seeing her lover in the throes of passion pushed her over the edge and her jaw clenched while her hips kept rocking to maximize the orgasm. Wave after wave washed over Ashley until both her and Natalie collapsed, their skin covered in a sheen of perspiration.

They caught their breaths and Natalie pulled out of Ashley, hearing a sigh of disappointment when the fullness disappeared. She removed the straps and made sure to put the strap-on where the kids wouldn't come across it. When she got back in bed Ashley was already asleep and the moment she felt the warm body get in next to her, she snuggled closer and threw her legs over her wife. Natalie sighed contentedly and closed her eyes, a deep dreamless sleep consuming her within minutes.

Chapter 31 1993 - 2001

She felt violated and sore, tears streaming from the blue eyes as she pulled the blankets tightly around her. Desperately she tried to find comfort in the duvet, the sobs didn't stop but by now she had learned to keep them silent to avoid a beating. Her thoughts were jumbled and for the umpteenth time in her life she wondered if all girls went through this. She had no one to turn to, nowhere to run and there was no one who would listen to her plight of desperation and unhappiness. So she did what she thought all thirteen year old girls did, she kept quiet and persisted, holding out a tiny bit of hope that someday someone would rescue her.

This had been her life for years now and Ashley didn't know that the life she lived wasn't what life was supposed to be. Every morning she woke up for school, dreading the end of the day which meant she had to return home and every night he would come knock on her door. This Wednesday night was different, he came into her room and started pulling his pants down but this time Ashley let out an ear piercing scream. Her mother had, had enough of this and came running down the hall, deciding to do what she should have done years ago.

She pulled the large man away from her daughter and he turned around in a rage, his fist connected with her face and her body flew a few feet back. Ashley tried to fight him and keep him away from her mother but her small body was thrown into a wall as he descended upon her mother again. His fists kept connecting with her face and Ashley screamed, blood spattered across the walls and his face as he beat her. The next thing she heard was the door being kicked in and a neighbour knocking her father out cold. He checked on the little girl and then tried to find a pulse on the woman lying on the floor, choking on her own blood.

His wife came in as the man started CPR and took a hysterical Ashley from the room to wait for the paramedics, but they were too late. All of them were too late, her mother was pronounced dead and she already carried the shame of being raped repeatedly by the man who was supposed to protect her. She barely remembered the test and hospital stay, the next couple of months were a blur. Child Services sent her to Johannesburg where she went to stay with her grandparents who still mourned the loss of their daughter. They tried to help Ashley but the little girl was a mere shell of who she once was. She didn't trust anyone and she was completely withdrawn from the world around her.

Her grandparents had started sending her to therapy not long after the fatal incident and even though she slowly started speaking about what had happened, nothing seemed to heal. Dr. Greenstein looked at her over her glasses and smiled her soft, reassuring smile.

"So, Ashley, can you remember when this started?" she asked, trying to give the young girl some comfort.

"No, not really, I think I was about ten. He was drunk one night and came into my room. I mean he didn't rape me, I don't think. But I remember him taking my clothes off and touching himself while he looked at me. He put his fingers..." she started sobbing, "his fingers went inside me and it hurt."

The gentle, elderly woman sat next to her patient and tried to soothe her by gently rubbing her back.

"He forced me to touch him, I thought that, that was what all girls did. That's what he told me," her small body wracked with sobs.

"It's okay sweetie, he will never hurt you again. He will spend the rest of his life behind bars and in time your wounds will heal," she whispered as she held the crying child.

"I'm scared," her voice was muffled by the shirt her face was pressed against.

"I know you are, but I promise that he will never, ever come near you again."

Ashley spent most of her sessions crying and the therapist would soothe and reassure her. Months passed and the pattern was repeated three times a week. The rape and molestation had placed a fear of men inside of Ashley and she even had a hard time being with her grandfather. After Dr Greenstein spoke to them they decided that the best course of action would be to send her to an all-girls school and then gently introduce her back to men. They all realized that she would need time to readapt to men and to trust anyone again. What hurt her grandparents' the most was the fact that their daughter knew about this for years before stepping in.

When they enrolled Ashley at the school they extensively explained the circumstances and asked the teachers' to keep an eye on the little girl. The story had been headlines and every South African citizen knew about what had happened. The principle had a very soft heart and immediately agreed to enrol the girl.

**********

School was never easy for Ashley, she was very introverted and her studies suffered under the constant stress and depression she felt. She was idly doodling in class one day when they announced a new student would be joining their class. That moment the floor ripped from beneath her, because it meant that she would have to share her desk and she had worked so hard to avoid making friends or even having to sit close to anyone.

"Class this is Jean Holcomb, she just transferred to the school so please make her feel welcome. Jean, please sit next to Ashley," the teacher said and Ashley tried hard not to squirm away from the situation.

The brunette girl slowly walked down to the seat at the back of the classroom and sat down next to the blonde girl. She looked at her new desk partner and saw her shy away from her, almost sinking into the corner.

"Hi," she whispered to the shy girl.

"Hi," Ashley responded never looking up.

The rest of the class passed in silence, the pupils hardly concentrating on what the teacher said. The bell rang for recess and everyone quickly filed out of the class. Ashley packed her books slowly, trying to avoid bumping into anyone, to her surprise she saw Jean waiting for her.

"Can I hang out with you? I don't know anyone," she said and a blush covered her cheeks.

Ashley looked into the warm brown eyes and smiled despite herself, "I don't do anything during recess. I just eat and read, but I guess you can sit with me if you want."

"Thanks," she quickly followed the blonde and dropped her bag next to her new friend's.

They walked to a large tree, their lunch boxes in hand and sat against the large base of the tree. Silence filled the space between them and Ashley wondered why she agreed to be friends with this girl.

"It's scary to change schools," Jean finally broke the silence, "it's difficult to fit in and make new friends."

"I wouldn't know, I never make friends," Ashley responded and felt the warm blush cover her face.

"Why?" Jean asked, shocked by the revelation.

"Because I don't trust people and I prefer to be alone most of the time."

"Can I be your friend?"

She asked it so sincerely that Ashley couldn't help but nod, "where are you from?"

"We just moved from Bloemfontein. My dad got a better job offer here so we had to pack up and move," she said in a sad voice.

"I used to live in Cape Town," Ashley felt as though she could finally share a piece of herself with someone who wasn't paid to listen.

"Why did you move?" Jean asked in curiosity.

"I'd rather not talk about it," she looked down at her hands.

"That's okay, I understand. So, since we're friends now, can I come over to your house tomorrow? My parents work all day and I hate being home alone."

"Yeah, I will speak to my gran and ask her."

Suddenly a fourteen year old girl forged the first friendship in her life and she couldn't decide whether she was overjoyed or dreaded the decision. She shrugged mentally and decided to take a chance for once in her life, at least her grandmother would be happy that she finally peaked from beneath he shell.

Ashley happily jumped into her grandmother's car and smiled, "I made a friend."

The older women was so shocked and overjoyed by this news that she stalled the car when she tried to pull out of the parking space.

"That's great!"

"Can she come over tomorrow?" Ashley asked excitedly, finally regaining some of her childlike excitement.

"Of course she can, I will bake some cookies for you two," she navigated the heavy traffic and couldn't wait to share this news with her husband.

The grandparents watched their granddaughter bustle with restless energy and laughed at the tales the girl started sharing about school. Both relieved to see that there was still hope for the young girl to lead a happy life and both already thanked Jean for breaking the ice and entering her life. Neither could wait to finally meet this young girl and prayed that this was the breakthrough they needed to save Ashley.

**********

Jean followed Ashley to her grandmother's car and politely greeted the old woman behind the wheel. She hopped into the backseat with her bags and smiled as she listened to the banter between the old woman and her granddaughter. They arrived at a large house and Ashley bounced up the stairs, almost running to her room while dragging Jean by her hand behind her.

"This is my room," Ashley explained as she entered the room.

"It's nice," Jean dropped her bags and fell onto the bed, her arms stretched above her head.

"Yeah, I think it's pretty cool."

"So are we going to do homework so we can gossip or watch T.V.?"

"We don't have a lot of homework today, so it should be quick."

Jean moved to make space for Ashley and the girls quickly worked through the homework they had. Ashley's grandmother arrived with a large plate of cookies and fruit juice, smiling broadly when she saw the easy interaction between Ashley and her new friend. Once the girls finished their homework they settled on the couch in front of the T.V. with a large bowl of popcorn and watched cartoons until Jean's mother arrived. The conversations between the girls were easy and both felt comfortable in each other's company.

Four years later Jean and Ashley were still inseparable. One was hardly ever seen without the other and even though Jean had started dating, Ashley's fear of men and mistrust followed her still. It was a Friday night and Jean was spending the weekend with Ashley as was their routine. They were lying side by side on the queen sized bed and Jean was babbling on about her latest boyfriend. Ashley hardly heard a word, her thoughts were instead on Jean and wondering why she felt jealous of the guy who got to kiss the brunette.

She watched the pouty lips move and wondered what it would feel like to kiss the soft looking lips. After long discussions regarding this with her therapist she come to realize that because of her trauma her attractions to women was natural and might stay with her for the rest of her life. She considered this and realized that she would feel safer dating a women because she found it easier to trust someone of the same sex. Yet, she wondered if she would have been a lesbian had it not been for her father and the constant rape.

"So, when are you ever going to find a boyfriend?" Jean asked, cuddling into her friend's side as she always did.

"I don't think I'll ever date men," Ashley smiled sadly.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened in your past?"

Ashley had never shared her story with Jean, too ashamed to admit that she had been abused the way she had. But on this particular night she decided, what the fuck, if I can't trust Jean with this then she will never trust anyone. She began to tell her story, tears streaming down her face as she did. Jean quickly took the crying girl in her arms and held her tight. Her own tears streaked her face, wishing that she could take away the pain that her friend felt.

"So I think I might be a lesbian, because I don't find men attractive and I will never be able to trust them," Ashley concluded and held her breath.

Jean held the smaller girl tight, suddenly realizing that she wanted to kiss her friend so badly that it hurt. She knew she had to say something to let Ashley know that she didn't mind and that this didn't change anything in their friendship. The words wouldn't come so Jean gently tilted the tear streaked face up and lowered her mouth to the trembling one. When their lips made contact it felt as though their worlds finally shifted into place as their heart raced and their bodies trembled at the soft contact.

Ashley moaned at the contact, her tongue running along the smooth lips, begging for entrance and when Jean's mouth opens she slips her inquisitive tongue inside the warm mouth. Jean moaned, her heart beating rapidly as the wetness between her legs grew. She gently laid Ashley down and settled on top of her, her hands running up the blonde's sides. Ashley pulled the athletic body closer, her fingers digging into Jean's back as she tried to increase the contact. Jean broke the kiss and started kissing down the pale neck, her tongue swirling across the smooth skin.

Their breathing became laboured and when Jean's hands cupped her breasts she felt the fear grip her when she realized where this was going. She pushed Jean away, her blue eyes wide with fear and her throat constricting as she tried to keep from screaming.

"I'm sorry," Jean said desperately, sitting upright and pulling the scared girl into her arms.




Junky Chronicles Ch. 04



"No, I'm sorry. I'm just not ready for that yet and I don't know if I ever will be," Ashley said after a long while, clinging to her friend.

"That was a really good kiss," Jean smiled into the blonde head under her chin.

"Why did you kiss me?" Ashley's insecurities were clear in her voice.

"I think I have wanted to do that for a long time, I just didn't realize it until it happened."

"You didn't have to do that because you felt sorry for me," Ashley said defensively.

"I didn't do it because I felt sorry for you! Did you even hear what I said? I did it because I wanted to, because I have been wondering for so long what it would be like! I don't pity you, because I know how strong you are and now I understand why."

Ashley started crying and burrowed her face into the soft shirt, "sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"What happens now? You have a boyfriend and I don't know if I want to just be friends anymore," Ashley whispered.

"I don't know, but you are more important to me than anything else. I don't know or understand why I feel this way about you, but I want to fight your demons with you and I don't think I can ever go back to just being friends with you. How about we try that kissing thing again, I promise to keep my hands to myself," Jean suggested shyly.

As an answer Ashley tilted her head up and caught Jean's lips between her own. She desperately wanted to be able to make love to her friend, but her fear and past prevented her from doing so. The soft lips caressing her own quickly cleared her thoughts and she focussed solely on the feel of the soft lips against her own.

Chapter Thirty Two 2002

It had been one year since that first kiss, Ashley and Jean were sharing a university dorm room. Both were busy with their medical degrees and Ashley had still not been able to overcome her fear of physical intimacy, even though she was getting better. She wondered why Jean was still with her, but Jean insisted that she didn't care because she loved Ashley with her whole heart. Ashley was sitting on the familiar couch in Dr Greenstein's office as she pondered this question for the millionth time.

"It's been a year and I still freak out at the slightest hint of anything physically intimate. I trust Jean with my life and I am scared that she will leave me. But I have made a decision, tonight when we finish classes I'm going to make love to her and I'm going to allow her to touch me in every intimate way possible. I will never cross this bridge and bury my fear of intimacy if I don't step up and just do it."

"I have been working with you for six years now and you have made a lot of progress. I think that if you can take this step you will have fought most of your demons and Jean seems to be constant light that keeps your darkness away. There is no one better to take that big step with than Jean and I believe that you will experience fear, but the important thing is that you relax and allow her to take you one step closer to healing."

They discussed Ashley's decision at length and when Ashley left she felt rejuvenated. She patiently waited for Jean to come to the room, candles burning in the room, soft music playing and a bottle of wine resting in an ice bucket. Jean walked through the door and looked over the room, her brow furrowed in confusion. She watched as Ashley walked to her wearing one of her button shirts and she briefly wondered if Ashley had anything on underneath.

"Hi," Ashley whispered and kissed the gaping mouth.

"What's all this?"

"Tonight, I want you to make love to me, but I need you to be patient and gentle with me."

Before she could answer she felt the soft lips against her own again and let her arms encircle the body of her girlfriend. Their tongues duelled for a long time and their hands roamed over the respective bodies, simply feeling the skin beneath their fingers.

"Do you want some wine?" Ashley asked breathlessly.

"Hmm," Jean replied and kissed her one more time.

Jean poured the wine and openly stared at the toned legs that were revealed beneath the shirt, feeling her sex contract at the sight. They talked while they enjoyed their wine and Jean ran her hand along Ashley's thigh, gauging her response at the intimate act. Ashley put their glasses down and her mouth hungrily found Jean's, her hands fumbling with the shirt that covered her friend's body. Jean helped her remove the offending item and laid Ashley down. She supported herself on her arms as her mouth sought out the blonde's. Carefully she let her hands roam over the lean body beneath her, slowly working her way to the delectable breasts.

Her hand cupped Ashley's breast and she almost cried in relief when Ashley's back arched off the bed to increase the contact. Jean's heart beat wildly when she realized that this was really going to happen and soon realized that this moment was worth the wait and countless frustrated nights. The two women worked together to remove Jean's pants and underwear before Jean gently started unbuttoning the shirt. Her hands trembled and she worked carefully, as if she was opening a priceless artefact and was afraid of damaging it.

She looked down and kissed each piece of new skin that was revealed, when all the buttons were undone she gently pushed the shirt to the sides and caught her breath as she laid eyes upon the perky breasts she had been dreaming about for so long.

"You're beautiful," she breathed in a whisper before kissing each nipple.

A moan escaped Ashley's lips and she fought desperately to keep the fear that tried to take over. She focussed on Jean, her soft brown hair and the feel of those soft lips against her skin. The same mantra was repeated in her head, this is love, it's not the abuse you experienced. You can trust Jean, she truly loves you and she stuck this out with you, fighting by your side to expel those demons.

Her fingers tangled in the long hair and she gently pulled her soon-to-be lover down, encouraging her to take the sensitive nipple between her lips. Electricity shot through her spine when the warm, wet mouth encircled her nipple and the gentle pressure of the suckling caused a new wave of wetness to gather between her thighs. Jean was gentle and moved slowly so that she didn't scare her new lover off. She moved at the pace that Ashley set, trying hard to show her that sex could represent love and wasn't normally used for selfish needs against defenceless kids.

After giving both breasts equal attention she slowly kissed down her abdomen, her actions slow and deliberate to let Ashley know where she was headed and what her plans were. Once again Ashley fought the fear that threatened to dispel the light and pleasure. Jean felt the body stiffen and instead of moving further she nibbled on the sensitive skin under her lips.

"I love you, Ash. Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes, I just need to convince my brain that you're not doing this to hurt me," she whispered in an emotional voice.

Jean slowly continued her path and when she reached the landing strip of pubic hair, she spent a long time simply kissing the soft fur and surrounding area. Her intentions were to let Ashley get used to the idea of someone being close to her most private area and tried to convey the love she felt for the blonde woman in every kiss. When the body relaxed she slipped her tongue between the wet labia and got her first taste of the woman she loved. Her tongue moved slowly between the pink folds and she heard a gasp every time her tongue flicked over the sensitive clitoris.

Ashley's hips started undulating against her lover's face and Jean took this as a sign that it was safe to continue her exploration of the woman. Her tongue delved into the opening and she heard Ashley moan loudly at the contact. She brought two fingers to the opening and looked into the blue eyes filled with lust, asking permission to enter her. Ashley nodded her consent and Jean slowly slipped the digits inside her lover, her tongue flicking across the hard clit. She felt her orgasm building slowly, like lavea settling in the pit of her stomach ready to erupt at any second. Her breathing was ragged, her moans loud and her hips bucked wildly against the fingers and face of her new lover. Without warning Ashley's body stiffened and a scream caught in her throat as she fell over the edge and experienced her first orgasm.

Jean helped her lover ride out the waves of her orgasm and held her close when sthe collapsed exhausted on the bed. Her fingers stroked the naked back and she whispered words of love and adoration to the blonde woman in her arms. A blissful smile crossed Ashley's lips and her heart felt elated when she realized that the chains that held it captive was broken.

"I love you," Ashley whispered and kissed her lover with all of the passion she could muster.

Without warning Ashley flipped Jean over and started working on chasing away another demon that held her captive. Much to Jean's surprise they made love well into the early morning and she cried tears of joy when she realized that the final wall that separated them had finally been broken down. They clung to each other in the small bed, their limbs a tangled mess as sleep claimed the women.

**********

Ashley woke up the next morning, the first feeling was fear gripping her heart. She was scared that she would open her eyes and Jean would be gone or that she would have regrets. But when her blue eyes fluttered open she looked into loving brown eyes and her heart suddenly felt elated.

"Morning, beautiful," Jean whispered.

"Hey," Ashley kissed the soft lips and suddenly became aware of the naked body against her own.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Like I if I don't get more of you right now I might sulk," Ashley smiled into the lips against her own and her body started moving against her lover's.

"Hmmm, no regrets?" Jean asked uncertainly.

"I will have if you don't kiss me right now," without another word their mouths pressed together and their bodies moved in a slow dance against each other.

They spent most of the Saturday making love and getting to know each other's bodies. The smell of sex hung in the air as they claimed each other over and over again. Ashley couldn't get enough of Jean and she realized that sex wasn't bad or abusive when you shared it with someone you loved.

"If we don't eat anytime soon we might die of starvation," Jean mumbled breathlessly.

"Can we order in?" Ashley asked and moved up her lover's body.

"No, if we don't get dressed and go eat we will never consume what we order," Jean answered quickly, her body was sensitive and she wasn't sure if she could handle anymore.

"Fine, let's go shower," Ashley conceded with a pout.

Jean laughed and dragged her lover with her to the dormitory showers where they quickly got into one shower. They didn't make love in the shower but instead lightly touched and confessed their undying love for each other. When the water started running cold, they dressed each other and giggled whenever they fumbled.

Ashley was finally able to share all of herself with someone she considered her soul mate and although she still struggled in other friendships and relationships in her life, she felt whole when she was able to look into the warm brown eyes of her lover and see the love within them. Finally she felt like a whole person, like Jean had somehow replaced what her father had taken from her so many years ago.

Their relationship could not have been going any better and a couple of years later they moved into an apartment together. Both women were very happy when they started on their final year of classes before starting their residencies and neither expected it to be the year that everything would fall apart.

Jean met a guy in one of her classes and the two became fast friends, before she knew what was happening however she was falling for him. Her heart was still with Ashley but she constantly questioned her sexuality after meeting Chad. He was the guy she always imagined marrying and she found herself wondering if she had made the right choice in changing her friendship with Ashley. She was faithful and fought against her feelings, but one night she and Chad went drinking while Ashley went to visit her grandmother.

One thing led to another and before she could stop it or even wanted to stop it, she and Chad were undressing each other. They fell onto the couch and he entered her, their bodies moving together and her moans filling the room. Ashley unlocked the door, happy to be home and have time with Jean when she saw the naked bodies moving together and heard Jean's loud moans echoing off the walls.

She dropped her keys with a loud clinking noise and her entire body went limp, she fell to her knees and the last thing she saw was the shocked brown eyes look into her hurt blue ones. Ashley fainted and Jean pushed Chad away, pulling a shirt over her head as she rushed to her lover's side. When Ashley came to, she roughly pushed Jean away and scrambled into a corner.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Ashley screamed.

"Baby, please, it shouldn't have happened! Please," Jean pleaded while Chad looked on worriedly.

"GET OUT! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" she moved away from Jean's attempts to touch her and felt the hot tears streak down her face.

"Let me at least take you to your grandmother's..."

"GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!"

Jean looked at the crying woman, her own tears running down her face and realized that she had broken the fragile trust that Ashley had in her. She reluctantly walked to the room they shared and threw some items into an overnight bag. Before she left she looked at Ashley one more time and felt excitement building when Ashley walked to her. A hard slap caught her across her face and her head whipped to the side while she felt the hot stinging build on her cheek.

"I hate you!"

Ashley walked to the bathroom and Jean walked out of the front door to find Chad waiting for her. She dialled Ashley's grandmother and told her to come to the apartment, she confessed to what she had done and heard the old women tell her that if Jean was still there when she arrived she would wish that she was in a torture chamber rather than dealing with her. Jean walked toward her car, her heart breaking more every step and she wondered what would happen to her now. She realized that her existence was entwined with Ashley and laughed at the irony that the realization came a few minutes too late. For a long time she sat in her car and watched the apartment that was home to her, when she heard the old car pulling up she finally drove away.

Chapter Thirty Three 2006

Kaz rushed out of bed and hung around the toilet, the contents of her stomach emptying with heavy heaves. Ben emerged and looked at his wife weakly hanging over the toilet seat, he kneeled next to her and rubbed her back.

"You okay, hon?" he asked softly.

"I think I'm pregnant," she whispered through a sore throat.

Ben felt his excitement building and he nearly did the happy dance, "that would be amazing!"

"Considering we have been trying, I have to agree. I just don't have the energy to celebrate right now.

He took the hint and helped Kaz to her feet, after she rinsed her mouth he carried her to bed and snuggled up with her. Even though he felt like an unwanted third wheel when it came to Natalie or Devon he loved her more than life itself and he knew that she was trying to step up and be the wife and friend that everyone needed. He looked into the sleepy brown eyes and like always felt at peace. Natalie and Devon had played a big part in his wife's life and he would never ask her to choose, instead he would accept them as the unnatural extra limbs of his wife.

Kaz felt a mixture of emotions, she and Ben had been trying for a long time to get pregnant and now it finally happened, but the timing was wrong. Her best friend just lost her wife and unborn child and it would feel like rubbing her face in the loss she was experiencing. She knew that there was nothing she could do about it now and at some point she had to focus on herself. In the bigger context of life she was never going to be truly happy if she put everything and everyone before herself and her marriage. She knew in her heart that Natalie would be happy for her, no matter what, they were all three in the same boat and always tried to put the other's happiness in front of their own.

Her eyes closed and she snuggled deeper into Ben's arms, sleep claiming her tired body and mind. Everything will be fine, it just has to be.

**********

"You sacrifice everything for Natalie without even giving me a second thought!" Michelle yelled at Devon when he walked through the door.

"How about you calm down before we talk about this?" he said calmly and walked to the kitchen.

"No, Devon, enough is enough. You let that lesbian and her coloured counter-part run your fucking life! Yeah what she went through is tragic but fuck, life moves on! If you keep sacrificing every for them you will grow old alone! So you need to make a choice, me or them!"

"GET OUT!" Devon hissed between clenched teeth, "you don't know what you are talking about or the relationship I have shared with them for half of my life. So get out and don't ever return. You should know by now that if someone makes me choose, my choice will always be Nat and Kaz!"

Tears welled in Michelle's eyes and she soon realized that she said the wrong thing, but there was no turning back. She walked into the room and packed some of her clothes, she would return in the week and get the rest. Devon watched her go, his anger bubbling just beneath the surface. Michelle had chosen the wrong moment to confront him, he just returned from hearing the reading of the will but he figured that when they both calmed down enough they could talk it out. He grabbed his keys and drove to Natalie's house, at least there he would find people who understood and cared.

**********

Some weeks later Devon walked into Natalie's house, he was relieved to see Alice's car in the drive way. The house was very quiet and he saw a syringe on the table, at the moment he didn't connect any of it and continued up the stairs. He softly knocked on the door and opened the door, only to feel the hurt and shock colour his insides.

Alice looked at him and the confrontation that followed left everyone in shock. No one could have predicted the downward spiral that they would all find themselves in and the devastating effects that would follow. Natalie disappeared and no one knew where to find her, she also missed Alice's funeral. The only communication they had from her was the phone call that led them to the killers. Devon tried to continue with life, Michelle was gone and he couldn't find Natalie. Instead he tried to support Kaz during her pregnancy and he even went on a few dates with Dani.

Those were the only parts of his life that seemed to be somewhat normal and he knew he was falling hard for the lawyer. They were sitting in a restaurant, staring into each other's eyes when his phone rang.

Kaz was in bed, cuddled up to her husband and watching one of her favourite sitcoms on TV when her cell phone started buzzing.

"Hello?"

"Kaz? It's Dr Ashley Simons."

Kaz immediately sat up and stared ahead, "what happened?"

"Natalie was in a car wreck, but she is stable at the moment. I don't know why she was in Durban, but I happened to be here working with another patient when she came in. I just thought I should inform you."

"We'll be on the next flight."

Kaz jumped out of bed while shouting the details to Ben and telling him to phone Devon while she threw clothes into a bag. He quickly helped his wife and told her that Devon had also received the same call. Devon had already booked tickets and the plane was leaving in two hours. The four of them met up at the airport and made the trip to Durban. Ashley was waiting for them at the hospital and quickly assured them that Natalie was fine.




Junky Chronicles Ch. 04



Over the next few days they decided to take Natalie to Cape Town and help her heal from the wounds that had been inflicted on her. Ashley arranged for Bianca to go with and when Natalie agreed they all hoped that they would finally get a piece of their normal lives back.

Chapter Thirty Four February 2007

Natalie and Ashley pulled away from one another and started walking down the beach on the edge of the water. Both women quickly realized that they missed the close contact they had shared moments before. Ashley was suddenly aware of the feelings that Natalie provoked in her and she immediately shook her head to clear the thoughts. She hadn't let anyone touch her physically or emotionally since Jean and Natalie had too much baggage for her to even consider this a possibility.

Unbeknownst to Ashley, Natalie was having the same thoughts, but she simply chalked it off to Ashley having saved her life three times and technically speaking doing it for a forth time now. Suddenly Megan's words came back to her and she wondered if her beloved wife was referring to Ashley but she didn't think she could ever enter another relationship.

The women turned around and headed back to the house, Bianca noticed the contemplative looks on their faces and immediately realized that if anything was going to blossom between the two women they were going to need a few nudges. At that moment she decided that she had to work on Ashley because Ashley trusted her and that she could provide the first nudge. She also had to get into contact with Natalie's friends and get them to make Natalie acknowledge what was happening. This was not going to be easy but it could save two brilliant women's lives.

Each woman went about their days and Bianca was happy to see that Natalie had taken to drawing even though most of her drawings reflected Megan and Logan. In these drawings Logan was about three years old and Bianca hoped that this was a way for Natalie to let go of everything she kept bottled up. Ashley sat in the window seat and stared out across the beach, her eyes unfocussed and Bianca knew she was trying to figure something out.

"You okay?"

"Hmm, just thinking," Ashley said absent-mindedly.

"About?" Bianca sat next to her and looked at the conflicting emotions flashing over the blue eyesd doctor's face.

"I saved Natalie three times, what are the odds of that happening? And then today on the beach she opened up to me about this dream she had where Megan told her that her time on earth wasn't up and that she was meant for someone else. For the first time in my life I opened up to someone I hardly know and who wasn't paid to listen. She held me while I cried and surprised me with the tenderness she displayed. Then when we got up we were both quiet and walked but I immediately missed her touch," Ashley wiped a tear away before continuing, "I can't be feeling this way about her. You know I haven't let anyone touched me in any way since Jean and I can't be falling for the one woman who is more emotionally damaged than I am."

Bianca pulled her friend into a hug and held her for a while before speaking, "would it be so bad to finally trust someone again? She might be damaged, but look at life, who isn't? I believe that she is loyal and trustworthy. There is no way that she will ever do to you what Jean did because she now knows what the value of love is and that losing it is like dying. You have both experienced the same loss in different ways, Ash and I think that if there is anything that could develop between the two of you it could heal both of you."

"I can't take this risk. I can't let her or anyone else touch me and I certainly can't make myself emotionally vulnerable again."

"Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but you have already started letting her in and guess what, she hasn't run yet!"

Ashley tried to come up with more reasons as to why it wasn't a good idea but realized that Bianca had every counter argument and that she was right. Well, that was what Ashley's heart said but her head wasn't so keen on the idea. She came here to help Natalie heal and suddenly she found she was in desperate need of healing herself. With a shocking realization she concluded that she needed healing by Natalie.

"This can't be happening. She doesn't feel that way about me."

"She does, she just needs time to realize this and figure it out. This gives you time to figure your own feelings out. Just try Ash, you owe yourself that much."

"Yeah, whatever," she got up and stalked off to another room to clear her head.

Bianca took this time to get in touch with Devon and Kaz. She briefly explained what was happening and asked if they could come over for a weekend to visit. Both were over-protective but soon realized that Ashley could be good for Natalie and agreed to come. Ben and Dani were both excited by the prospect of adding the infamous Dr Simons to their dysfunctional circle.

**********

Natalie was sitting on the beach that Saturday, staring at the waves and trying to figure out why she couldn't get Ashley out of her mind. She wished Megan was there to give her the answers and tell her what she was supposed to do next but no answers came to her. Devon saw the contemplative figure of Natalie on the beach and held Dani's hand as they walked toward her with Ben and Kaz in tow.

"Is this all you do with your time?"

Natalie looked around and flew to her feet, jumping into Devon's arms and started to cry. The other three circled the large man and hugged the two intertwined figures.

"I missed you all so much," Natalie sobbed and clung to the group.

"We are here, Nat," Kaz said in a choked up voice.

Natalie stepped back and looked at the four familiar faces, "I am so sorry for everything. I didn't stop long enough to realize that we all lost Megan and Logan, I didn't think that you were experiencing a loss as big as mine and that you all shared my pain. I... I am sorry, I put you through so much."

"Hey, it's okay, we all learned something and the most important lesson was that nothing and no one can break us apart," Kaz said between sobs, clinging to her husband.

"We are all here, better and stronger than before. It might not be all of us anymore but the ones that matter are here and we will always be," Devon added and the three friends clung to each other and cried.

"So, how's the baby?" Natalie asked as she wiped her tears.

Everyone took turns to tell their stories and laughed at the antics they missed. Kaz and Ben were expecting a little girl and Devon and Dani got engaged. Natalie shared in the joy of their news and took a deep breath after telling them about the dream she had.

"I have a problem," Natalie said in whisper, staring ahead.

"You can't still be hesitant to tell us anything after everything that happened," Devon gently urged.

"I think I am starting to feel something for Ashley. But I'm not sure if it's because she saved me so many times or because of who she is. I'm not supposed to be feeling anything for anyone, I just lost my wife and here I am, almost a year later and I can't stop thinking about another women," Natalie said and didn't even try to wipe away the tears that were flowing.

"You just told us about this dream you had and you're questioning this. Megan would want you to be happy again, Nat. We all know and Megan knows that you will never forget her or your son but we all want you to be happy again," Kaz said before Devon joined in.

"We all love Ashley and honestly, she can handle you just as Megan could and you need that. She is amazing, Nat and she can offer you happiness, you just have to decide if you want it. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting, it simply means that you're taking control of your life."

"Face it, there's no doctor in this world who would do anything even remotely close to what Ashley is doing to help you," Ben added.

"We were sitting on the beach the other day and I told her about my dream. She opened up to me about something in her past and when she cried I held her. It felt right and that bothers me because Megan was supposed to be the only thing that ever felt right. I feel guilty and I feel like I'm letting them down when I spend time with Ashley."

"That's natural, we're not saying jump in now, just don't close the door without even considering the possibilities," Dani said quietly and smiled at Devon.

The group spent hours on the beach, talking and then fooling around in the sand and water. There was finally laughter again and this time when they saw the life back in Natalie's eyes they were relieved to know that this time it was because Natalie was truly healing.

**********

Ashley watched the interaction between the friends and wondered if she could ever possibly fit into their circle. Would she be able to trust anyone enough again to find something even similar to what the friends seemed to share?

"Come join us on the beach," Kaz said, breaking Ashley musings.

"No, that's a moment between you guys," Ashley responded with a smile, but Kaz heard the underlying sadness.

"It's a friends moment and we all consider you part of that, so technically speaking you are missing out on a moment that should have been yours as well," Kaz took her hand and led her outside.

Natalie looked at Kaz and Ashley approaching and smiled at the large belly that Kaz now had. Her eyes fell on the blonde following closely behind Kaz and she couldn't help but smile at the conflicting emotions that played across the beautiful face. Never could Natalie have imagined that the confident doctor could ever be so secluded and shy around other people.

"Did you finally get the reclusive Doctor to join us?" Devon asked and smiled at the blonde.

"It took some convincing, she doesn't believe that we see her as part of our group," Kaz shrugged and stood beside Ben.

"You are as much part of this group of unstable friends as everyone else is. Well, we won't force you..." before Natalie could finish, Kaz interrupted.

"Nat's lying, we will resort to violence and blackmail if we have to."

Ashley laughed and sat beside Dani on the sand, "then I better accept it."

"Trust me, you will save yourself a lot of energy if you just agree. Been there, done that and I've got a spare T-shirt if you're interested," Dani chimed in.

The banter continued well into the afternoon and Ashley finally relaxed in the group. Bianca joined them and Ashley realized with a start that she felt as though she belonged for the first time in a long time. Everyone started disappearing to the house and when Natalie looked around she realized it was only her and Ashley left on the beach.

"It's a beautiful night," Natalie whispered into the silence.

"Yeah it is," Ashley shivered and Natalie moved closer to provide her with some warmth.

"Thank you," Natalie said into the ear of the woman between her legs.

"For what?" Ashley looked into the blue eyes and couldn't look away.

"For saving me and for giving me the opportunity to experience some joy again."

"I didn't do anything other than my job," Ashley's voice also dropped and their face were mere inches apart.

Without hesitation or even giving it a thought, Natalie lowered her mouth to Ashley's and felt a gentle warmth spread through her when their lips touched. Ashley arms locked around Natalie's neck after she turned around and pulled the brunette closer to increase the contact. Natalie's tongue slipped between Ashley's lips into the silky warmth and their tongues glided together. Every second they spent kissing felt natural and easy, like a warm glow from the fire after the burning heat had died down. Both women knew that they had both had their burning heat relationships and that a comfortable glow with moments of blazing heat suited them just fine.

The kiss broke apart and they stared at each other, both waiting for the guilt and regret to get to them, but it didn't come. It was as though the universe was telling them that they had finally taken a step into the right direction. They knew that they still had much to learn about each other but suddenly looked forward to the journey.

Chapter Thirty Five May 2007

Natalie had just arrived back in Johannesburg and was happy to finally be regaining some of her normal life. She was going to start work again in the week and things between her and Ashley was going great. Looking around the large house that once held all the happiness and laughter that Natalie could ever need, she broke down. Natalie fell to her knees and sobbed, not only had she lost her entire family in this house, she had also managed to lose Alice under this roof. She knew Alice didn't die here but her destruction had started in this room on that couch.

Kaz and Devon watched as Natalie sobbed, this time they didn't try to comfort her because they knew that Natalie had to face her demons head on if she was going to survive. Suddenly the four walls that held so much happiness only held screaming silences and the dreams that had been lost.

"I never even dreamed that this place could feel so unbelievably empty," Natalie whispered in a choked up voice.

"We lost a lot, Nat and now we all need to pull together to pick up the pieces," Devon said and sat on the couch.

Kaz sat next to him, "just remember that we can do anything together," Kaz added.

"How can feel happy and empty at the same time? I mean, being with Ashley makes me happier than I ever thought I would be again. Way happier and yet I have this undeniable underlying emptiness and sadness," Natalie looked at the picture of her Megan, tears streaming down her face.

"You lost a part of yourself and you only just started to try and rebuild that. Just remember that it will never be the same and that you shouldn't question your current relationship based on what you had with Megan," Kaz said and disappeared into the kitchen to make coffee.

"I guess moving on, letting go and rebuilding everything seems like an impossible task to me."

"Think about it this way, Nat. If you were stuck in a cave, your leg was trapped under a boulder and there's no one for miles, what would you do? You have to survive and your only chance of surviving is cutting off the limb that is keeping you trapped. Isn't that the same as losing a part of yourself to survive? Then you get back to civilisation and you have a hard time adapting and getting used to only having a part of you left. Doctors start constructing and building a new limb for you and you know it will never be the same again but it heals that part of you that needed healing. That's what you're doing, Nat, you're rebuilding what you lost and it will never be the same but it could be better or just the same depending on how you choose to deal with it. You can make a new life for yourself and replace that deep hurt and sadness with happiness again, it depends on whether you want to be whole again," Devon said and stood next to Natalie as she looked at the sonar of their child.

"I want to be happy, Dev. In truth, I want to be happy with Ashley, she makes me feel again and there is something in her and about her that makes me want to be strong again and love her regardless. This is going to be so hard," she wrapped her arm around the large man and stared at the picture with him.

"Then you'll be happy, Nat. Just don't give up."

**********

Ashley walked through the door that night and hugged the gentle woman she had quickly come to love and trust. She wasn't worried about the physical aspect of their relationship because she knew Natalie wasn't ready to truly be touched that way again and Ashley was unsure if she could allow another to touch her way.

"Hi," Natalie whispered and kissed the soft lips.

"Hmm, hey," Ashley leaned against the strong body.

"I made dinner," Natalie announced and led the way to the kitchen.

They ate together and Ashley told Natalie about the surgeries she performed. Their bodies were close because they craved the contact and simply loved being close to each other. There was a comfort between them that neither could explain but didn't question either, instead they basked in the glow of what they shared. The women cuddled closely on the couch and watched a few sitcoms, during an ad break Ashley turned around and captured Natalie's lips.

Their lips moved together and their hands gently started to explore while soft moans escaped their lips. Natalie ran her tongue against the soft lips and asked for entrance, the request was quickly accepted and Ashley ran her tongue against Natalie's. A duel between their tongues started and their arms quickly started to pull the body against their own closer, moving against each other.

"Let's go to bed," Ashley whispered breathlessly.

Without a word Natalie took her hand and led her up the stairs to the guestroom she now occupied. She couldn't bear to sleep in the room where she had once loved Megan. Once inside the room Ashley took charge, she didn't know what came over her but she needed to feel and experience everything Natalie had to offer. Lips came together in a hungry exploration and trembling hands pulled Natalie's shirt over her head. Slowly they undressed each other, almost as if repeatedly asking the other if they're sure about what was about to happen.

They fell onto the bed, Ashley straddling Natalie as their lips and hands explored the new territory. Soft lips travelled down her neck and kissed across her chest, paying loving attention to the large scar that covered Natalie's heart. Ashley captured a nipple between her lips and was rewarded with a sigh and an arched back. Her lips suckled on the puckered flesh and her tongue lovingly ran across the tip while her hand caressed the other breast.

Ashley paid the same attention to both breasts, her mind still asking how she could trust someone with her body so easily after everything she had been through. She nibbled down the taut stomach and kissed over the naked mound, before her tongue touched the soft, wet flesh there the answer hit her. Natalie is just as broken as I am and somehow we're healing each other. That's stronger than any amount of trust.

Her tongue made contact and a loud gasp left the lips of her lover. She took Natalie's lips between her own and suckled gently, the body of the brunette thrashing on the bed at the sensations it created. While she suckled the pink lips her tongue searched for the clit that had peaked from beneath its hood and she fluttered her tongue over the hard nub. Natalie's hips started bucking against the beautiful face, her breathing loud, ragged and strangled while her hands tore at the sheets. Without warning her orgasm tore through her body and the scream caught in her throat as she stopped breathing and her body went rigid. When she relaxed Ashley crawled up her lover's body and kissed the panting woman.

Their roles were quickly reversed by Natalie who started worshipping the body beneath her. As Natalie kissed her body, Ashley simply marvelled in the feel of their bodies pressed together and her mind simply telling her how right this felt. There was not a moment of fear or hesitation in Ashley as Natalie lay claim to her body. Her body was in ecstasy after Natalie pushed her over the edge numerous times.

Ashley settled her head on Natalie's breast and basked in the afterglow of their love making, her finger idly tracing the scar of where she cracked open Natalie's chest to save her life the first time.

"It's ironic, you cut open my chest to reach my heart and get it to beat again, physically. Tonight you cracked it open again and made it beat emotionally," Natalie whispered against the blonde head.

Warm tears ran down Ashley's cheek and kissed the scar that Natalie was referring to, "it's healing nicely."

"Yeah, it is. In both ways and I only have you to thank for that."




Junky Chronicles Ch. 04



Both women felt the emotional shift in their relationship and tried to pull closer to the other. They wanted to be as physically close as they were emotionally and with tangled limbs they fell asleep. Their minds, heart and souls finally at peace after what felt like a long and hard battle.

Megan looked down at the scene and felt her heart both break and rejoice at the love she saw between the women. Even here she still wished she could have been the one for Natalie but was happy to see that the tortured soul was finally finding peace. She rejoiced that Natalie had listened to her because it hurt even more to watch Natalie destroy herself.

Chapter Thirty Six March 2008

Natalie was lying on the green grass, her head resting just below the tombstone that read Megan Scott and a rose lay on her chest as she stared at the blue sky above.

"I wanna tell you a story," Natalie began and twirled the rose.

"So about a year ago I kissed Ashley, I know I have told you this before but I guess I want you to understand. I waited for the guilt and regret to come but it didn't. Those last few weeks of my rehabilitation turned out to be a lot more than I expected. The kiss was nothing like the first one I shared with you, it was spectacular in a different way. After the kiss your words kept running through my mind, you know, when you said that I was the one for you but you weren't for me and I came to the conclusion that the universe was fucked up. I believe what you said now and I think sometimes we take a little detour in our lives. Suddenly we meet this person who just reignites the flame inside us and they become enough for us, they're not our soul mates but they fill that empty spot. Then the universe decides that we can't continue living on just having enough and then that person gets taken away. During that period we meet our soul mates and they play an important role in our healing and we suddenly realize what's happening and take the chance..." Natalie was quiet for a moment, her thoughts running back to the time when she realized this.

"What I have with Ashley is nothing like what we had, we don't have the fireworks or the blazing heat. Instead we have this comfortable glow, don't get me wrong, we have enough passion to detonate a nuclear bomb, but nothing happened suddenly. There is this understanding and need we have with each other, a love that will last for the rest of our lives. I also learned that I can't compare one relationship to the other because you are two different people and the relationships are different. In the beginning I still found myself wishing it was you but that stopped when I realized what Ashley and I shared. Sometimes I wish people could write a book that tells you how to survive grief and loss, but each person is different. I don't know if I was supposed to feel guilty for moving on or if I was doing it right. It gets out of control when you start feeling guilty for not feeling guilty and then Kaz and Devon reminds me that you would've wanted me to move on and be happy. I want you to know that I am, happy that is. Back to the story, because of Ashley's past we didn't sleep together for a long time. It's hard for her to trust people and I don't blame her. When we finally slept together it was spectacular. Every time we make love it is different from you and I, but not lacking in any sense of the word..." Natalie fought the tears that started to spill and let herself feel the loss for a moment.

"The reason I am here though is because I need to tell you something really difficult. Ashley and I decided to move to Cape Town, we feel like that was the city that brought us together and offered both of us a second chance at life. Now this part is difficult, I'm going to ask her to marry me. I am sorry that I'm leaving you and I promise I will come visit every chance I get. The company Head Quarter is also moving, so Devon and Kaz will be coming with us. I guess this is really goodbye. It doesn't mean I stopped loving you but it's time for me to let go."

Natalie got up and dropped the rose onto the grave, she wiped her tears and whispered her last confessions of love to Megan before walking out of the cemetery gates and driving to her old house where everything was packed into boxes. She walked into the room she once shared with Megan and walked through the almost empty space.

Natalie had only kept a few of Megan's belongings and she walked into the closet where Megan had kept everything. She remembered how she broke down in this small space and spent hours with Devon searching for the scrapbook that Megan had made. Her hands ran along the shelves as she remembered how much time Megan had spent in there getting ready for their evenings out. Natalie's hand bumped against something and she stood on her tiptoes to see what it was.

She pulled the large book down and cried when she realized that it was the scrapbook that Megan had talked about. Settling against the wall she started opening the book and cried harder when she saw the picture of them all in the pool on the day they had met. One of the best days of my life, the day I met you, was inscribed below the picture. She paged through the book and sobbed when she saw all of the happiness that they had shared and suddenly she realized that she couldn't leave. If she left here she would be away from the last bit she had left of Megan and Logan.

Devon looked at the figure sitting against the wall and felt his own tears sting his when he realized what Natalie had found, "you found it."

"I can't leave Dev. If I leave I leave them behind and I can't do that."

"You'll never leave them behind, Nat. They're in your heart, your soul and your memories. Megan would have wanted this for you and in truth, we all want this for you. You're happy again and you're sharing something beautiful with Ashley, something that inspires the greatest love stories. You and Megan had something similar, but with Ashley there is that something extra. Don't sacrifice that for haunted memories, Nat."

She looked at her friend and smiled at him, he was right and she knew it but this was difficult. This was like skinning her alive and leaving her to feel the burn of the muscles where the skin was torn from. Then she remembered how Ashley feels in her arms and it was like putting ice on her burning flesh and soothing the wounds.

"I love her, Dev. I went to see Megan today and I told her everything. This has been the hardest thing for me, I lost my one love and I am so afraid of losing Ashley too. I am going to ask Ashley to marry me when we get back in Cape Town," Natalie rested her head against the large shoulder and felt the jerk of the body.

"Are you serious? Oh my God, that is the best news I have heard in a very long time!" the large man jumped to his feet and pulled Natalie into a bone crushing hug.

"It's time to make some new memories," Natalie said into the broad chest.

"Can I donate the sperm again? I really want to help you guys have kids."

"Whoa, let's just see if she will marry me first before we start planning a family," Natalie said with a laugh and looked at the scrapbook in her hands.

I hope you're happy for me Megan. I don't want to leave you but I need to be able have a life again, baby girl. What we shared was special and you will be immortal in my memory.

**********

They parked in front of their new house, the same one where Natalie had come for rehabilitation and she and Ashley found each other. They looked at the large structure and slowly got of the car, Devon, Dani, Kaz, Ben and little Jada stood behind them. Natalie picked Ashley up and walked toward the door with a giggling woman in her arms. This moment was important and Natalie wanted to carry Ashley over the threshold of their new home and their new lives.

The others followed close behind and looked at the fully furnished house, the walls already held their pictures and the memories they had created. Natalie put Ashley down and looked into the blue eyes, they were standing in the middle of their new beginning and Natalie realized there would never be a better time than now. Everyone that she cared about was here and she was about to start a new life with the woman she loved.

She got onto one knee and fished the ring from her pocket, she looked into the face of her lover and held the tiny jewellery box in her hand, "I know this is not the most romantic way but this is the perfect time. Ashley, you have healed me in so many ways and I love you with a fierce intensity. Will you marry me?"

Natalie opened the box and revealed a simple platinum ring with a large blue diamond. Ashley kneeled in front of Natalie and kissed her, mumbling "yes," over and over again. The rest of the group rejoiced and cried when Natalie slid the ring onto the slender finger.

"Okay, she said yes, so can I be the sperm donor again?" Devon asked.

Ashley pulled away and looked at him, she laughed and cry when she saw the complete acceptance in the faces of the people she had adopted as her family, "I don't think that would be a problem. As long as it's in a cup and you waited until we got married and settled down."

Natalie laughed when Devon did a fist pump and held the woman she loved in her arms. Suddenly her world felt whole again and she was looking forward to the future and finally being able to grab everything she had ever dreamed about. Everyone moved in a circle around the happy couple and hugged them tight.

Life had changed in the past year for all of the friends, Kaz and Ben had a beautiful baby girl, Devon and Dani got married and was expecting their first kid and now Natalie and Ashley was finally starting their lives together. Kaz looked at her friends and realized that they could all finally have their happily ever after's.

Chapter Thirty Seven November 2008

It was a warm sunny day in Cape Town and the house was bustling with guests from all over the country. Some of Ashley's colleagues bustled about and her elderly grandmother was on the lawn in her wheelchair looking over the ocean, a smile on her wrinkled face.

"Are you okay, ma?" Ashley asked and stood beside the woman.

"After everything that life has thrown at us, at you, you're finally taking that leap and finding true happiness. It makes me so happy to be here today and watch you get married. Your mother and grandfather would have been proud to see you today. I am so happy," the woman said in a trembling voice.

"You and grandpa saved me. Natalie helped me put all of the pieces together and I never thought I would experience true happiness after Jean but Natalie showed me that I could."

The two women went inside and Ashley wheeled her grandmother to the room where she was to get dressed. Kaz and Dani helped her get into her dress and all the women smiled when they saw the beauty of the blonde woman. Her white dress was simple and strapless, it hugged her body and flowed easily around her curves. The blonde hair was done up and her blue eyes sparkled, revealing the happiness she felt.

Natalie stood on the beach, away from the aisle and altar where they were to say their vows. She looked across the ocean and smiled, her hands in her pockets.

"Well, Megan, this is it. I am finally letting go and moving forward. Ashley and I are going to start a family after we get married and I am going to live the life that I had always dreamed of. With this day drawing nearer I kept thinking about you and I wonder what if you were both still alive. But mostly I wonder I wonder what I would have done if had gotten a second chance at life. Would I have saved you or have everything play out as it did? I can't find an answer and I realized that there isn't one. I would never be able to choose between you two because what I have and had with each one of you is special and spectacular in different ways. But I decided to focus on what I have right now and Megan, I have found happiness and if I am to embrace it fully I have to let go of you. I will always remember you but right now I need to take my heart back because there is a woman who is going to walk down that aisle to me and promise her life to me. She has given her whole heart to me and today when I say 'I do', I am going to do the same. Thank you for the life you spent with me and I will always love you but I need to let your ghost rest."

The chairs that were set out on the beach started filling up and Devon walked to Natalie, "are you ready?"

"I am more than ready. I am going to give her my whole heart today and I am going to give her the life she deserves, Dev. Let's go get married!"

Natalie stood beside the attorney they had asked to marry them, her black suit immaculate and her black shirt crisp. She wore a green tie and was barefoot, they had agreed that everyone would be barefoot at their wedding and she smiled at the few guests that were gathered there. They had agreed to only invite the people who mattered to them and keep the ceremony small. Devon stood beside Natalie, dressed similarly to her and Ben stood beside Devon.

Ashley had decided to invite Jean, feeling the need to finally close that chapter of her life. Jean sat in the middle and felt her heart break at the thought of Ashley marrying someone else. Chad and their two daughters sat beside her and she found herself wondering for the millionth time what would have been if she had stayed with Ashley. She heard the wedding march and rose with the other guests, her breath caught in her throat when she saw the raw beauty of Ashley in her wedding dress.

Ashley followed behind Jada who threw rose petals in the aisle they walked down and Dani and Kaz followed the bride. They wore green dress and Jada wore the same. Ashley reached her grandmother and hugged her.

"Who gives away this woman?" the attorney asked.

"I do, with the all the happiness and love in the world," the elderly woman said in a choked up voice.

Natalie kissed the woman's cheek and took Ashley's hand, they stood in front of the attorney as he spoke about love. They had each agreed to write own vows and before they started Duncan walked down the aisle with the rings. He stood in front of them and waited patiently as the women spoke.

"Natalie, the way we met was anything but conventional and yet we somehow made it through. We were two broken souls and you had help me heal and I discovered that there was a strong, passionate and unconditional love. I found that love with you and I stand here today, promising my life, my love, my soul and my whole heart to you, for the rest of my life," she slipped the silver band around Natalie's finger.

"Ashley, I have said this to you before, but you once cracked my chest open to get my heart to beat again and repair the damage. That day and two other times, you saved my life and continued fighting to keep me alive. Then one day, on this very beach you cracked my chest open again and repaired my heart emotionally. I still carry the scars from the first time, but you have made that heal too. Today I vow to give you my whole heart and I promise to always make you happy and give you the life you deserve, forever," Natalie slipped a similar band onto Ashley's finger.

Duncan walked to his dad and the two women kissed, "I now pronounce you, life partners."

Tears spilled over cheeks as Natalie led Ashley toward the house where they're reception was going to be. Everyone danced and made toasts, then Jean approached Ashley and asked her to dance.

"You seem happy," Jean said against the blonde head.

"I am, Jean. I truly am. I found someone who loves me unconditionally and wants to be with me. It's funny, I never thought I would ever be happy again after you but now I am happier than I ever imagined possible."

"I still love you, Ashley and I wish every day that I didn't do what I did. Don't get me wrong, I love Chad and my girls, but I find myself wishing that it was you I shared it with."

"Stop wishing for that, Jean. I stopped and the only thing I will ever wish for, is that I can make Natalie as happy as she made me. I am over you Jean and you decided that for us, so maybe you need to decide to let go."

The song ended and Ashley walked to her wife. They shared a long kiss and then Devon came up to them, "we have to leave if you're going to make your flight."

They said their rounds of goodbyes and headed for the airport.

*********

The plane landed in Mauritius and a car took them to their bungalow on the beach. The driver carried their luggage inside and once he was in the car again Natalie carried Ashley over the threshold of another major step in their lives. Natalie lay her bride down on the bed and they started a slow love making, touching and kissing every inch of skin they could reach.

Ashley had thought long and hard as to what she could give Natalie on their wedding night. She came up with the perfect gift but it scared her because this meant a new level of trust for her. Her head was resting on Natalie's chest when she looked at her wife and lover.

"I want to give you something truly special to me," Ashley whispered.

Natalie looked at Ashley with confusion when she got up, her eyes following the naked form as she looked for something in her bag.

"With everything that happened to me, the rape and molestation, my virginity was taken without me having given it. That also left me with deep rooted problems and tonight I want to offer you something that I physically don't have but emotionally it is still there. With that gift I will also be giving you my ultimate trust," Ashley crawled up Natalie's body.

She showed her the strap-on she had purchased and asked the silent question. Natalie started crying, firstly for the memories this invoked in her and secondly for the trust that her wife was placing in her. This was also a request from Ashley to help her overcome the last of the demons that plagued her. Natalie accepted the gift and stepped into the straps, adjusting them to her body.

She crawled between her lover's legs, "are you sure?"

"Yes, just be gentle," Ashley said and fought the fear that was once again beneath the surface.

She felt the head of the phallus at her entrance and swallowed hard in attempt to fight the fear. Natalie pushed her hips forward gently, letting the phallus slowly enter her lover. Her eyes were on her lover, trying to gauge her reactions and determining whether Ashley was okay. When she had fully entered her lover she stopped and looked at the beautiful, sweaty face and kissed the soft lips.

"You okay?" she whispered.

"Hmm, you feel good inside me. Just give me a moment," Ashley said and fought down the demon that was trying to take over.

Natalie kissed her wife, her lips mashing against the soft ones and her hands running over the smooth skin. She was more than willing to give her lover all the time she needed. They kissed for long minutes before Ashley slowly started moving her hips and signalled Natalie that she was fine to continue. Their bodies moved together slowly, both getting used to the new sensations and the bond that they shared. Ashley arched her back and revelled in the full feeling and the large phallus moving and out of her. Her orgasm built slowly, going higher as she fought down each bit of fear that tried to grip her.

Natalie moved slowly and lovingly, letting her lover know that this wasn't about violence but love and sharing something completely intimate. Ashley's fingers dug into Natalie's back and hips bucked faster and harder against her lover. The sensations became intense and she as she neared her orgasm. Perspiration covered their bodies as they moved together and then Ashley back arched and a loud moan escaped her lips as she experienced her first orgasm during penetration. Her legs locked around Natalie's back and she kept her inside.




Junky Chronicles Ch. 04



No words were said between the lovers, instead they kissed and then Ashley started moving her hips against her lover again. They made love until the early hours of the morning and they collapsed in exhaustion.

**********

They spent a lot of time on the beach, fooling around in the sand and water. The happy couple played and chased each other, then they would lie on the beach and tan. Their honeymoon had been pure bliss and they started talking about starting their family. After a lot of discussion they had decided that Devon would be their donor because that would make them an even bigger dysfunctional family. The group was very close and they wanted to instil that bond of trust and friendship between their kids too.

Chapter Thirty Eight September 2010

Ashley was rushed into the hospital by Natalie when her water broke. Fear and anticipation filled the brunette as she watched the doctors prepare her wife for the birth of their daughter. She was quickly shuffled to another room to get into scrubs and then led to her wife's side. Natalie held onto her lover's hand and whispered words of love to her.

The birth took a couple of hours and Ashley was completely worn out when their daughter was finally part of their world. Natalie took the tiny human into her arms and cried, she settled on the bed next to her wife and both women fussed over their new born.

"Hi Isabella," Ashley whispered to her daughter.

A bush of dark hair covered her head and when she opened her eyes they saw the same expressive blue that both her mothers had.

"She's so beautiful," Natalie whispered.

An ear piercing shriek came from the tiny body and the nurse said that it was time to feed the crying baby. Natalie watched in amazement as her wife fed their daughter and smiled at the bond that was rapidly building between the two. When they found out that they were expecting a girl they agreed to name her after Ashley's grandmother who had passed months earlier.

**********

The happy parents quickly settled into a routine and loved every second of parenthood. They took turns in getting up at night when Isabella cried and a year later they decided to add to their little family. Everyone was surprised when they found out that they were expecting twins and rejoiced when they heard it would be a boy and a girl.

The months passed quickly and soon the women found themselves with a house full of kids and laughter. Their passion was still strong for each other and their family was happy and healthy. Devon and Dani also had two more kids and Ben and Kaz stopped after the second. Christmas was always a joy and filled with mischief when the group got together to celebrate the holidays. Ashley and Natalie's kids knew that Devon was their biological father and that his and Dani's kids were their siblings.

Present...

"We have to get up, Devon and Kaz and their broods will be here in an hour," Ashley said but clung to Natalie.

"Do you think they'll mind if we just stay right here?"

"No they won't but I'm not so sure how our little rebels will feel about finding their parents naked and writhing against each other."

"That won't be good, I am not ready for the flowers and bees talk. Or the bees and or the flowers and flowers talk either. I mean whatever way they decide to swing one day."

The women dragged themselves out of bed and jumped through the shower before bathing their kids and starting breakfast. Devon and Dani showed up first and the kids immediately disappeared into the backyard to play while the parents talked and cleaned up. Kaz and Ben came and after a quick greeting from their kids they also disappeared.

"I love how they just disappear when we get here, it gives us a good break," Kaz said and poured herself some wine.

"We kind of asked to be overworked when we started families," Devon said and sipped his beer.

They spent a long time talking and then the two men and Natalie disappeared to watch the kids. It was an eventful afternoon and when everyone left Ashley and Natalie set about getting their rebels ready for bed. Natalie had the twins in the bath and Isabella was helping to wash them. Ashley stood by the door and watched her family, the warmth of happiness and contentment filling her heart. She watched the games and water splashing across the floor.

Natalie laughed with her kids and even though she still thought about Megan, her life was full enough now to have replaced the emptiness that once was there. She thanked whatever God was out there for bringing Ashley and their three kids into her life. After reading bedtime stories the women finally settled in bed and cuddled. They basked in the contentedness they were feeling before falling asleep.



Junky Chronicles



"As long as she can handle this insanity, without complaints, anytime" Devon said, sipping his own beer.

"Trust me, she will slot herself right in, and maybe even beat us in the insane-o-meter" Mia said with confidence in her friend. Natalie remembered Mia mentioning Megan enough times to get her curious, and secretly she was excited to finally meet the elusive Megan. They casually continued the conversation trying to remain as normal as possible, but that didn't mean the dirty looks around them had stopped it only got worse as they burst into small laughs about a crude sex joke, but that didn't bother them. The world had to deal with the crazy part of life that was the bond they seemed to share. 

It was about half an hour later or so, when the most beautiful creature Natalie had ever seen began walking to them. With each movement of those hips, her long dark brown hair whipped from side to side. Mia got up with a wide spread grin on her face. Natalie was too stunned at the woman walking their way, when Mia shoved Natalie slightly to make space for her to move. Natalie got up slowly from the picnic style table. Infatuation filled her immediately at the beauty that Mia pulled into her arms. 

She glanced over at Natalie. She felt as if her hazel-green eyes saw right through her. Her slim and toned body showed off in her black tank top and blue denim skirt, perfect B cup breasts that sat high on her chest, toned legs but not muscular, arms that were perfect. Natalie couldn't stop staring at her as they had a discussion. Megan noticed Natalie staring and blushed, a light color of red covering her cheeks. It seemed to disappear as Natalie shook her head. Jess's voice filled her ears "How are you?"

"I'm good thank you." She answered when a slow smile spread on her face, her mouth perfect, knocking the breath right out of Natalie. 

"Hi, I'm Natalie, my friends call me Nat." Natalie stretched her hand out to her and she took it with a firm hold. She had a hint of elegance and her firm grip was still like lightness on her skin sending Goosebumps right through her. Looking down at her hand in Natalie's perfect petite elegant hands, she thought to herself as Natalie lifted her eyes back to hers. "I'm Megan," she answered, as Natalie's eyes connected with hers, Natalie knew that Megan had felt it too as she seemed flustered, that little shock that spiked right up her arm, through Natalie's heart and landed right in the pit of her stomach. 

Megan felt excited and nervous as she gazed upon one of the sexiest women she had ever seen. She was not gay, but the immediate effect Natalie had on her, flustered her. She couldn't break the gaze they shared. It felt like a lifetime, but lasted only a few seconds. She felt herself wishing that they had never been interrupted.

"I'm Kaz!" 

Natalie burst out laughing as Kaz had correctly summed up the situation and wanted to break the look between Megan and Natalie. How could she miss it? Natalie was devouring the woman with her eyes for crying out loud. Kaz glanced over to anyone else at the table to help her out, and as always the trusted Michelle came to the rescue beginning the chime of introductions all over again, "I am Michelle," there were times Michelle could just figure things out and sit back and allow it to happen, but not when someone gave her the look to do something, and that's all she thought she could do. Devon followed the chiming. Natalie smiled over at her friends, 'Thank God for friends that saved my sorry ass' she thought glancing over at them with their stupid grins on their faces. 

Megan only laughed at the insanity suddenly happening around the table, but with softness in her voice she replied with a simple "Nice to meet you all." Yeah, as polite as Natalie thought she would be. Megan was afraid that the friends around the table would pick up that she was slightly out of breath, as she stole another glance of Natalie while moving into the table to sit next to Mia. 'God, I hope she moves in next to me,' she thought her face turning a slight red. She turned her face away afraid that Natalie would notice. 

Alice noticed though, she noticed how Natalie looked at Megan and she didn't like it, not one bit. She has been in love with Natalie for as long she couldn't remember. Natalie was the object of her fantasies, out of fear of being rejected and ruining a perfectly good friendship she said nothing. On the other hand she couldn't help but feel the rush of jealousy that ran its way through her. "So what do you do for a living, Megan?" Alice asked as she looked at the timid, yet beautiful woman sitting across from her. 

Megan felt the unease, as Alice shot daggers at her, "I'm a financial advisor at the Nedbank group," she responded with an even tone. She refused to squirm at the look in Alice's eyes, timid and as calm as she was, she wouldn't bend to someone else's wishes. No matter how big of a threat she seemed to be. She didn't understand why this woman was looking at her that way, but whatever it was, she was practically certain it had to do with Natalie, as Alice eyes narrowed slightly in a warning, unaware that Megan was straight and happy in her two year relationship with Shaun. 

"That's awesome! I think we could all use some financial advice, especially Nat! She's constantly paying for everything," Devon said with a huge grin. Natalie only laughed, "Well I can afford to, and besides I like making you feel special Devon." Nat replied with so much innocence it had the Devon laughing out loud as he thought about their history together. Kaz and Alice, stared at them with a frown for a while before the lights went on, as they joined in the laughter. That was the best part of being around so long, you never missed a single beat. Mia's face had a look of longing to know what the joke was about, as she shouted across at them, "What the fuck are you all on about?" their laughter only increased as Mia was making it even more difficult to answer her, Kaz took a deep breath and started to explain, "It all starts back in High School," she began and laughed again. As she took slow easy breathes with the largest grin on her face, "you may not know this, and it's seriously it's disturbing, Devon and Nat, while they used to be a couple, they had steamy Saturday nights in the back of someone's Jeep.... " shivering at the thought, leaving the rest of the table gawking with jaws dropped. Devon and Natalie looked at each other reminiscing this obscene memory.

Natalie cut in, "I know it's twisted right! Anyway, we were like eighteen, both suspecting that I was gay but still denying it to ourselves and our peers. Thinking about it now, we tried really hard to hide it. We used to be that in your face couple constantly sucking each other's lungs out." Natalie began to laugh leaving Devon to pick up where she had left off, "Well we decided it was time to have sex, we were both ready and hoped this would prove Natalie's homosexual feelings to be untrue," he then burst out laughing and Natalie continued.

"He planned this entire romantic night, with candles and roses all in cue in his room. We were both so nervous we could barely kiss. So we eventually got each other naked and when it was time for him to enter me , he hesitated and I told him to just do it, all he said was 'but I want to make you feel special baby.' At the time it was sweet, but now it has just turned into a personal joke." Mia looked as though her eyes were going to pop out of her head, staring from one to the other, she folded her arms over her chest, pouting her lips, "I can't believe neither of you told me this" 

"You dated and slept together?" Jess asked following Mia's shock, she couldn't believe what she was hearing, Natalie was so ultimately gay. She tried to imagine the two of them together, and how that never seemed to make sense Jess just couldn't see it, frowning at the two of them.

"Hell yeah, we had a pretty good sex life, or so we thought, then Natalie discovered gay sex." At that everyone laughed, they all tried to picture this unlikely pair in High School. Megan was shocked, she barely knew Nat, but she didn't want to even imagine Nat with someone else. The thoughts that she was having scared her.

"But the sex soon became unfulfilling and one night we were at a house party and I ended up making out with people of the same sex. We came to the conclusion that we couldn't be together and I couldn't deny myself the sweetness that I felt that night. So we broke up and I became totally gay, and the rest is history." Nat concluded, with a flourish.

"Wow, I would not have pictured that in my most obscure dreams." Mia said.

"I know right, it scares me thinking that there is so much history between the two, and sexual history at that." Kaz said and she again burst out in laughter.

At that moment everyone was laughing loud again, even Megan laughed loud at the thought. Nat sat and listened to her laugh, it was a sweet sound that filled her soul.

The manager came around, "Can you please keep it down, and you are disturbing our other guests."

He was a short, fat guy with a bulging stomach and a bald patch on his head.

"Tell your other guests to cheer the fuck up! It's the turn of the century!" Devon burst out.

"I am kindly asking you to keep it down." He said again.

"What's wrong with you people?" Kaz asked, a cigarette hanging from her mouth.

Everyone just looked at us then one guy responded, "This is a family restaurant and your explicit encounters of sex and homophobic stories are out of bounds. There are kids around." 

"Oh I get it. The room is filled with homophobes," Nat said and turned to the manager, "How 'bout you just bring the bill. I don't feel like sitting in a place filled with homophobic people. And you can be sure you'll be hearing from me again," Nat didn't like throwing her name around, but used it to make people squirm at times, "Sorry, let me correct that, you will be hearing from the Scott family." was all Natalie said as she got up to pay the bill with her friends in tow. The manager had a conflicted expression on his face as he tried to apologize profusely. Megan couldn't believe it, she is hanging out with one of the richest women in South Africa, and her family owned a range of businesses, from The Scott Advertisement Group to Scott Recording Label. Natalie was practically famous and here Megan was walking out of the Spur with her.

"Are we going to my house?" Natalie asked her smile back on her face.

"Hell yeah," Devon said and everyone agreed.

They all walked out of Sandton Mall, realizing how hot it truly was outside and the sun bright as it hung high in the sky. "I'll drive with you Megan. Then you won't get lost on your way there." Mia offered and kissed Jess as Jess got into the backseat of Natalie's red Audi A4. Kaz got in the front and like those spy movies they put their sunglasses on at the same time.

Natalie pulled the Audi out the parking space, and sped forward, pulling everyone back into their seats, once free from the constraints of the parking lot she sped up even more. Megan attempted to keep up.

"She suffers from the inability to drive slowly, so don't even try to keep up. I'll direct you to her house." Mia reassured Megan as she slowed down a bit. 

Chapter Four:01 January 2000

Natalie waited in the drive way as the rest pulled their cars in and parked. Kaz already went in and put music on in the lapa and poured drinks. "I expected you to keep up, Devon boy," Natalie said teasingly.

"You drive like a maniac through busy streets, I just couldn't." Devon responded.

"I agree with him," Megan added with a soft smile that melted Natalie's heart.

Natalie smiled back and led them into the mansion, a double storey house painted in a light shade of grey, with large windows situated perfectly to provide light into the house. They entered through the foyer, with its high ceilings and a spiral staircase leading to the second level. On the right was the living room, which they walked through, decorated in dark rich colors, and red oak woods, French doors opened to a large yard, where a pool glimmered in the sunlight. The patio stretched across the size of the house, and a stone pathway led the way to the lapa where Kaz stood in her bikini mixing a bunch of drinks. Of course Kaz changed, her first thoughts would be drink, and then pool. Megan walked slowly in the living room, looking around the place taking in the glamour and elegance of the house. The interior was painted an earthy brown with matching carpets. Large L shaped leather couches filled the big space, with a large floor to ceiling TV stand, a 52" TV filling a large space and the racks on either side filled with a variety of DVDs and CDs. A matching coffee table stood in the middle of the large room. Books piled neatly and stylish on the surface along with photo's of Natalie and her family, similar photos hung on the walls. The large windows let a lot of light into the room and heavy curtains hung at the sides that could easily block out any unwanted light. She turned towards the French doors to find Natalie standing there already, beer in her hand, watching Kaz make everyone jump into the pool, pulling Michelle and Devon, as big as he was, into the pool with her fully clothed, leaving Nat laughing. 

The bar stood in the corner of the lapa, stretching to half the area. In a dark wood with matching bar stools, couches stood on the side facing the pool. There was a large television attached to the wall behind the bar, booming MTV through the surround system set strategically around the lapa to give it that optimum sound and feel. Megan noticed the Jacuzzi on the side of the pool and imagined Natalie with several women in there doing things she didn't want to think about. Again, she hated the idea that she was with other people, and it annoyed her that she could feel like this over someone that she didn't really know. Kaz had pulled herself out the pool, winked at Dev and Michelle and made her way to the bar. Her usual spot was always behind it instead of front of it, as it became her duty to make everyone as drunk as possible, "Here's your drinks," she said as six glasses stood on the bar, everyone grabbed their drinks and settled in their spots. 

Megan settled down on one of the couches close to her friends Mia and Jess. Natalie went to sit close by, as casual as she could be. She saw Kaz look over to her with a knowing grin, and she shook her head back at as if to say 'quit it', everyone looked over at Kaz that was laughing as she waved her hand, "thought of something funny don't mind me" she grinned as Mia turned to Megan, "How is Shaun?" the question slipped right out and caught Natalie off guard. She had hoped that this beauty would be single. Then she thought maybe it's her brother all in an attempt to make her feel better, as Kaz casually walked over and sat beside her.

"He's good. He is still in Cape Town, and he stayed behind for business." Her smile clearly showed that she was really happy, at the same time she was completely aware of Natalie. Being that close to her, she could smell her scent filling her. The scent was sweet, with a hint of musk, she felt heat go through her, right down to her center. "How the hell was that even possible?" she thought. She noted the space between them. No matter how small a gap it was, to Megan it felt like the Atlantic Ocean. 

"Is that your boyfriend?" Natalie asked sounding absolutely innocent, Kaz looked up at her, with a raised eyebrow, but Nat didn't notice. She only saw Megan in that moment, "Yes, that would be the one," Megan wanted to lie and say that it was her brother, to see if Natalie would make a move, but something in Natalie's eyes compelled her to tell the truth.

"I knew someone as beautiful as you could not possibly be single," Natalie said as a playful and daring smile crossed her lips.

"Nat get your butt in this pool, and drag that one next to you along," she shook her head as she turned to Devon still floating around in the pool fully clothed. She looked over to Megan then back at Kaz as her devilish grin grew on her. Kaz shook her head, "Oh no. I'm drinking," she argued as if this would have made a difference. She narrowed her eyes at her best friend as her top went off to show that white bikini underneath. She was pushing down her shorts, as Kaz downed her drink and before Nat even had a chance she was running. 

Natalie decided to give Kaz a chance to get away, or in her mind it was a chance to let Megan see her. She felt her eyes roaming her body and that was all she needed as she counted loudly to Kaz, still watching Megan's face through the corner of her eye. 

Megan stared in disbelief at the most beautiful body she had ever seen. Natalie's B cup breasts sat high on her chest, her stomach forming the perfect lines to accentuate her slight six pack. The v-line leading to her pubic area strong and clearly visible. The muscles in her legs contracted with every movement and as she turned around, Megan looked at the muscles in her back twitching as she took a sip of her drink, she was perfectly toned yet feminine. She looked at the tattoos - a large phoenix covered most of the right side of her ribcage, the half sleeve tattoo on her lower right arm was filled with Chinese cherry blossoms that pulled the piece together consisting of mythical creatures. Her left upper arm was filled with another half sleeve. More mythical creatures covered her skin and in the back of her neck was a sentence leading down her spine in Hebrew. Megan was mesmerized, completely aware of the fact that she was staring, but unable to stop.

"What does the tattoo on your back mean?" Megan found herself asking.

Natalie turned to her and Megan felt her breath caught in her lungs, "The tiger is the strongest, but the chameleon will endure," Natalie smiled and Megan's breath refused to be released from her lungs.

Alice noticed this exchange and felt uneasy, "Are we swimming or not? And weren't you chasing Kaz?" 

She abruptly asked breaking the intense moment.

"Will you be joining us?" Natalie asked Megan.

"I'll have to go get my bikini from the bags in the car, and then I'll definitely join. Where is the bathroom?" Natalie couldn't wait to see this beauty in a bikini, "As you go in and walk down the hall, the third door on you right."

Natalie ran to the pool, grabbing Kaz, her cries bursting through the air, until they fell into the coolness of the water, she let go, coming up to Kaz profanity, ignoring her she floated on her back toward the edge a slight laugh in her voice, "Wow, this feels really good!" She shouted at her friends.

Megan left to get her bikini as the rest followed Natalie and Kaz into the pool. Devon and Michelle embraced and a battle of the tongues soon followed, "If you ever have sex in my pool while I'm in it I will kill you!" Natalie said only half joking.

"So we can do it anytime you're not in it?" Michelle asked laughing.

"You already have numerous times. Why do you think I hired a pool boy?" Kaz and Alice cringed and then they all burst out laughing.

Megan emerged a while later, everyone was settled in and floating in the pool, sipping their drinks and joking around. Natalie glanced over to the door, as she had been doing every few seconds waiting for her. When she saw her, Nat's eyes shot out at her face. Megan's body was tightly wrapped in a towel, and Natalie could have sworn everything began to move in slow motion. Megan let go of the towel and shook her hair as it fell to the ground. Her perky breasts moving the tiniest bit with the movement. Her flat stomach was formed very nicely and her thin legs were toned even better than Natalie initially expected. She had a sun kissed glow and her body was tattoo free. She took a dive into the pool and as she emerged her hair was flat on her head and pulled back completely. Water dripped from her face and Natalie found herself staring at the most beautiful creature she has ever seen. Natalie's heart almost stopped as Megan swam toward her, but soon realized that she wanted to get her drink. 




Junky Chronicles



It took her all day to get her bearings around Megan, but eventually she did. She could laugh, joke and just all together talk and splash water in her face like she would do to any of her other friends. Alice's girlfriend and Kaz's boyfriend arrived just in time, giving Alice something to do other than gawk at her the whole time, not that Natalie noticed Alice. 

With Devon staggering slightly, he floated over to Nat, laughing, "I'm so wasted, but I think a joint will go down very nicely right about now."

"You are rolling, I'm not getting out yet," Natalie said as she agreed.

"Me neither," the rest followed in unison.

"Do you smoke?" Natalie asked Megan.

"From time to time yes," her eyes were red and her skin a tinge of red as the sun had burnt her.

Five minutes later they were in the Jacuzzi their feet slightly above the water, as they passed the blunt from one to another. To Natalie's surprise Megan had come to sit next to her. As soon as the effects of the weed kicked in, everyone had begun laughing at nothing really. The conversation bounced around not really making sense to anyone but the group itself, "Have you ever noticed how the stars twinkle?" Alice said leaning her head back, everyone followed looking up to the sky with a stupid grin on their faces, as Michelle reached out her hand to the sky. "I wanna touch them, they are so close," she commented, "hold on their baby" Devon said as she got on his shoulders, "How about I get one for ya?" and that was all it took for them to fall right in the pool with a loud big splash leaving the rest of them in hysteria of laughter as they came back up from the water, "Oh yeah, catch a star" Kaz said, "and then put it in your pocket" Natalie followed, making them laugh louder now, in an uncontrollable manner. 

They weren't sure how long it had been but they were getting hungry, moving into the kitchen to attack whatever they could find and throw together. Megan stared around in wonder again, the kitchen was large, covered in sandstone bricks, off-white in color. Silver appliances were everywhere - a large double door fridge, stove, oven and smaller appliances she wasn't sure about, but they looked pretty awesome in her eyes. The counter tops were made of dark gray granite; white cupboards finished the stylish look. 

They all pulled cupboards open, and close as they laughed and joked. Food was stacked on the island in the middle. Megan joined in grabbing whatever looked edible and easy. They mixed and cooked and made jokes and had giggling fits at some silly jokes that have been thrown around. Once they were done, there was a feast spread before them, with enough food to feed an army. Chicken, steak, chips and for dessert, chocolate éclairs, brownies covered in caramel and a huge bowl of jelly with no distinctive color or flavour, having mixed everything together. Without any word or agreement, everyone dug in grabbing whatever junk they could find, shoving it into their mouths, talking with their mouths full. Mike stuffed his mouth with brownies and éclairs and called everyone to attention, and opened his mouth at the disgust in his mouth, "eww" Alice cringed leaving the rest of them laughing at how squeamish she was, everyone followed him moving closer to Alice until she was in the corner, making her lose her appetite. 

Once everyone was done they settled in front of the TV, everyone coupling up and settling on the carpet with their other halves. Natalie was left sitting alone next to Megan, her urge to hold her growing with every beat of her heart. The group was consumed in Jeepers Creepers, the marijuana causing the slightest paranoia in some as they jumped with every movement of the scary creature. Megan moved closer and Natalie put her arm around her as nestled her head into Natalie's neck, taking in that sweet intoxication that only Natalie seemed to possess. Megan had no idea what possessed her to take a bold move like that, but she liked it. Natalie nervously put her arms around her, pulling her closer to herself. Their bodies molded together perfectly, as if Megan was a piece of the jigsaw puzzle that had been missing all her life. Natalie wondered if she could hear it, the way her heart raced against her chest. She felt as if her rib cage was rattling inside of her, as her breathing became deep. Natalie imagined how Megan would taste, the moans that would escape her mouth when her lips met Natalie's. Nervously Natalie took the bold step; she moved her face closer to Megan's in the darkened space, and tilting her face up. She looked into her eyes, and ran her lips over hers slowly, keeping her eyes locked onto hers, before she pressed her lips gently against hers. Natalie traced her tongue against Megan's lips until Megan surrounded fully, parting her lips at Natalie's command, her tongue rolled into her mouth, tasting the sweetness she didn't expect, like the nectar of honey filling her. 

Megan felt her head spin as the kiss filled her. Her tongue followed Natalie's as she explored the unknown territory of another woman's mouth. The kiss was softer than she had anticipated, as their tongues danced against each other, a soft moan escaped Megan's lips and when Natalie broke the kiss, disappointment set in on Megan. She craved more, she wanted all that heat and passion in that simple gentle kiss. The wetness between her legs was proof that she wanted more, more than she had ever wanted before, and with a woman but not just any woman, she wanted this woman. She wanted her like she needed to breathe. She was inexperienced, in all aspects, even though until a few moments ago she was pretty certain she was straight, the fact that this woman could build up so much inside of her, made her question all of that. Being a virgin was something important to her, she vowed to wait until marriage, and she wanted to be certain the first and the last person she slept with would be the one person she was spending the rest of her life with.

Natalie gazed into her eyes; no words were needed as her eyes said everything that Megan needed to know. It had so much warmth and understanding, passion and lust, and something else that Megan couldn't describe. Natalie saw a mirror image of her emotions in Megan's eyes, all the lust building up, but there was the fear, the fear and confusion as to what happened between them, Megan raised her hands holding Natalie's face between them. Obviously the fear, the confusion didn't matter in the moment as she connected their lips again for a deeper kiss. 

Kaz glanced over and with a grin, 'hell yeah' Kaz thought tapping Mia's shoulder. Mia's eyes almost bulged out of her head as her eyes set on them. 'What the...' was all she could think until she came back down to earth, calling to everyone else's attention silently. Alice felt a jealousy unlike any other she had before. But what could she do? Natalie's face was set in so much peace, in so much happiness that she grinned right along with Kaz. 

They were locked in their own world, forgetting everyone else around them. Natalie kept her hands at Megan's thighs, pulling her closer, while Megan's arms wrapped tightly around her neck, keeping her locked there, she didn't want it to end, it was too perfect, to sensuous, too much of everything she had ever dreamed about. 

She loved exploring Natalie's mouth, unaware of the fact if it was all the alcohol, the weed or the combination of both, but it didn't matter. She knew from that first moment there was chemistry here, a primal force of attraction too strong to be denied.

"Are you ever going to breathe?" Devon blurted out, leaving the rest in a bliss of laughter. The weed was wearing off and so was the alcohol, and damn did Natalie need a drink after that. Breaking the kiss, she rested her head to Megan's forehead, "Thank you for ruining the moment, asshole!" she complained as she turned to throw daggers with her eyes at Devon. He just grinned back, as the annoyance of being disturbed showed clearly on her face. 

"You got this huge fucken house, with several fucken bedrooms. Do you know what you even have for your own? Use it," Kaz said, her face completely serious as she shoved popcorn in her mouth. Nat knew it was her way of hiding any laughter hidden in those eyes. 

Megan blushed slightly at the confrontation but wished that they would all go back to watching the movie so she could get back to her make-out session. "I never thought I'd see you kissing another woman, Megan," Mia said in a sly sarcastic tone, but Megan knew her friend well and even though she was trying her utmost best to hide it, there was shock written in her eyes. "Soo......" Mia began as a slow smile spread across her face, "How was it?" dragging every syllable that she could drag in that sentence. The deep tomato red set on Megan's face as she darted her eyes anywhere but at Mia, making it difficult with several eyes on them. She felt Natalie's arms wrap tight around her keeping her in place, as if she were protecting her. She didn't miss Kaz's eye roll, or Devon's grin, "I bet it was really great. One thing I remember about Nat, she's a smoocher" he blurted out, Megan knew it was his way of getting her comfortable, and maybe he was right, there was nothing to be embarrassed about as she cleared her thoughts. "It was okay." A naughty grin spread across Megan's face, as she placed her hand against the side of her mouth as if trying to hide what she was saying, mouthing to them. "OMG" Megan said, leaving the rest in laughter. 

"As the saying goes, it takes one attempt to be hooked, and I uh, think Megan is hooked," Jess mocked, lifting her eyebrows, with the left side of her mouth up in a stupid grin. "Okay guys. This is getting out of hand, like move to where we can't see ya. Kinda distracting we trying to watch a pointless movie here," Kaz complained, she turned as she continued to voice her opinion "I don't need to be disturbed any further by your activities Nat." Natalie laughed thinking of course it was Kaz that can get everyone focused on something other than that. "It must be the colored thing," she thought, laughing as she sank back into Ben's arms, and everyone's eyes moved back to the screen.

Natalie barely had time to turn her head back when Megan's lips were all over hers, the kiss more urgent Natalie felt herself get wet between her thighs as Megan's tongue entered her mouth. Natalie moved her hand higher up on Megan's thigh and rested it on her ass while she pulled Megan even closer by her t-shirt. Natalie ran her hands up along Megan's back until the intensity became too much. She started pulling away from Megan. A pout crossed Megan's lips as she pulled her brows together, "Why did you do that?"

"To keep myself from ripping your clothes off," Natalie whispered in her ear.

Her breath on Megan's ear sent a tingling between her thighs. She never wanted anyone to touch her so badly, to run their hands all over her body. Shaun has never had an effect closely similar on her. Megan started kissing Natalie's neck and goose bumps ran all over Natalie's body. With one swift movement Natalie pulled Megan onto her lap and picked her up as Megan clasped her legs around Natalie's very fit body. "Finally," she heard someone mutter, not caring who it was. She carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom, laying her down on the large king size bed. 

Megan looked around, it was the most beautiful room she had ever seen, the walls were painted a dark gray and lime lines ran around the room. Photo's covered the walls, a big dressing table stood against the wall with a large mirror, heavy grey curtains hung over the large window and the king size bed rested on a dark wood bed set matching the dressing table. Her duvet cover matched the walls with grey and lime, and the carpet was a slightly lighter shade of grey.

Natalie spread her body atop Megan and kissed her again, she wanted this woman so badly, but she was not going to sleep with her, not tonight at least. She moved on to kiss her neck and Megan whispered in her ear, "I've never been with a woman before. Hell, I've never been with anyone before," she gasped for breath as Natalie nibbled on her neck, "I'm a virgin."

With that Natalie stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes, "I'm not going to sleep with you. You make me feel things I have never felt before. I never planned on sleeping with you tonight and that just gave me more incentive not to and I respect you so much for it." Megan pulled her down and kissed her again.

"And if I asked you to?"

"I still wouldn't, I would rather build something real with you and help you keep the vow you made," 

Natalie smiled and softly kissed her on the lips.

Megan knew she lost this argument, "Fine," she sighed. Natalie kissed her again, as they lay staring into each other's eyes. Natalie's hands tracing the lines of her skin. They remained like that for a while until they fell asleep wrapped in each other.  

Chapter Five:30 June 2006

Natalie jerked out of her dream, awake at the sound of someone speaking. She recognized the voice immediately as Kaz. "Okay, no one say anything, the doctors don't want her to relapse again" Her voice was urgent, so much pain was edged in it, that Natalie felt it. She hated when her best friend hurt, and felt it when she did, but whatever it was she had no clue what she was talking about. Devon's voice filled in, "Either way I don't think she'll survive this," his voice trembling at the thought of losing her, "That's why we're here. She'll need us now more than ever," Alice said, she could hear tears in her voice. Michelle chimed in "Who's going to tell her when the time is right?" I It was a whisper but Natalie had heard her clearly enough. When she opened her eyes, she looked into swollen puffy red eyes. Alice was still crying, as she glanced over at her. "Tell me what?" Natalie's voice broke out, startling everyone in the room 

"You're awake!" Kaz almost shouted as she flew to her side, leaning down and wrapping her arms around her, not to tight though, but Natalie could feel her squeezing her.

They surrounded Natalie, everyone trying to say how much they missed her and how worried they were, taking turns to kiss her forehead. Devon had tears rolling from his eyes, "God, I thought we lost you! I would never have survived!" 

Natalie was weak but raised her arm to touch his cheek, "Hey big guy. You were my first love. I'm not leaving you just yet." She gave a weak smile, and spoke just as weakly but everyone could hear her, "I love you all." She told them, looking at each of them. They had all avoided her question, her mind was foggy but she felt herself yearn for her wife's touch, just to see her face and know that she is okay.

"Where is Megan?" Natalie half raised as the pain in her chest seared through her, she cried out in pain, 

"FUCK!" as she lay back again, "Are you okay?" Kaz rose from her seat to call a nurse. "I'm fine. Where is my wife?" Natalie asked again. "I think we should let the nurse to check it out," Devon interrupted.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WIFE? WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME GOD DAMN IT?!" Natalie shouted now. She was tired of being ignored.

They all fell silent and Alice cried again. Sadness filled all of their eyes, as they avoided eye contact, Natalie's heart beat increased and a fast beeping filled the silence. 

"FUCKING ANSWER ME!" Natalie shouted again.

A nurse came hurrying into the room as Natalie placed a hand on the entrance of the drip in her skin, ready to tear it out and go look for Megan. The nurse was ready to inject her when Natalie pushed her hand away, "If you inject me right now I will fucking kill you when I wake up. Now tell me where the fuck my wife is?... or I will go and look for myself," Natalie's voice was filled with rage, her eyes looked maniacal. With that Natalie ripped the drip out and blood ran down her arm. 

Devon pushed her back on the bed, "Calm down! Just calm the fuck down, Jesus please Nat. We can't lose you too." Natalie stared at him for a moment registering the words. Slowly lying back on the pillow; she looked over to Kaz and back at Devon, over to the wailing Alice that Kaz was pushing right out the door, and back to Devon, his words swimming around in his head. Devon slapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes betraying the shock of what he let slip. He saw it in her eyes, how his words were sinking in, and he closed his eyes and looked away; he didn't want to see the realization come alive in her, falling to his knees, his body racked with sobs, one roll after the other. 

"Lose me too? What do you mean lose me too?" Natalie asked. She knew the answer, she could feel it, but refused to acknowledge it. She wanted to hear it out loud, but from who? Her two best friends couldn't even say the words. They couldn't. She needed them to. She couldn't see Devon now, she just heard him, but she could see Kaz walking over to his side. 

Dr. Simons entered the room, "We need to speak to her before you put her out, all we ask is for a few moments" Kaz pleaded with the attractive young doctor, without giving her a chance to even stop her. Dr Simons nodded, "I'll be right outside if you need me," she said with a gentle smile before turning to walk out the room, everyone else left with her, leaving herself, Kaz and the sobbing Devon alone. 

Silence continued for a few long moments, Kaz's steady eyes watching her as she pulled Devon up to stand beside her, she closed her eyes as the tears trickled down her face, onto the white pillow case, "Just tell me" Natalie said, her voice in a whisper, her heart felt hollow, she felt Kaz's hand wrap around hers. 

Kaz knew she would be the one to do it. She was her best friend. Who else had to deliver her the worst news of her life? "They tried everything..." she said, surprised that her own voice was steady after spending hours crying. She knew in this moment she had to be strong for her, so she continued forcing the single tone. No sympathy, no empathy, just strength, the brick wall that her friend needed to lean on. "They couldn't save her or the baby. The bullet went straight through her heart and she bled out. The baby...." she pressed her lips together. "Use his name," she told herself, as she started again, taking deep breathes, "Logan..." 

Natalie heard Kaz choke on his name, she heard her take a deep breath in and compose herself, "...died with the first shot into Megan's stomach." She squeezed the hand she held, waiting for her friend to look at her. Kaz wasn't sure how much longer she could keep it all together. The meaning behind the words didn't register at all with Natalie as she opened her eyes. "And my parents? My grandmother?" Natalie asked, her eyes focused on Kaz. she could see the tears brimming at her eyes, as she shook her head slowly, "They.... They didn't make it either." Devon cut in; he was up again, as he put his hand on her arm. 

They waited for Natalie to soak in the words. They didn't want to lose her like they lost their second family, people who were so important to them. Natalie lay there, the words playing in her mind over and over again. The night flashed before her eyes. No tears came and then, reality hit her like a train on full speed. "NOOOOOO!" she cried out, sitting up again, ready to run, just run, without knowing where she was going, but she never wanted to stop. She pulled electrodes from her body, the heart machine making a single tone as the wires dangled from it. Her feet hit the floor as blood gushed and dripped from her wound. She ignored the pain in her chest and she stood up straight. 

Her friends couldn't stop her. They couldn't hold her friend back from the grief. Natalie took slow, unsteady steps to the door, her muscles not functioning properly after being bed ridden for two weeks. Dr. Simons came in before she could reach the door, "Let me go! Just let me go please. I cannot lie here, I cannot live!" Natalie was shouting at the doctor.