26 comments/ 14353 views/ 52 favorites JJ and Ashley Ch. 00: Prologue By: DarkFang Any constructive criticism is welcome. ***** August 1997 Lungs burning and legs pumping furiously Jordyn Jameson pushed her bike faster around the wide curve of sidewalk bordering the park. She could hear the boys behind her gaining, their shouts and threats drawing attention from parents watching their children on the climbing structures and swings. Glancing behind her, she could see Garret and his posse closing in. They'd caught her kissing Megan Perkins behind the vending machine at the library. It had been Megan's idea, the pretty blonde tugging JJ along the path to the machines. JJ had been reluctant, despite the curiosity she'd buried inside. "I'm going to kick your skinny dyke ass Jameson!" Garret yelled, standing to pedal faster. JJ felt her stomach give a sickening drop when two boys shot around the curve ahead of her, bearing down fast. She jerked her bike to the right, cutting through the grass towards the street. Looking ahead she could see a break in traffic that might save her ass and give her some time. She could still see Megan's shy smile when she leaned against the wall, looking at JJ through long eyelashes. "Aren't you going to kiss me?" Megan had asked, tipping her head to the right so her hair fell over her shoulder. "But you're Garret's girl. He's gonna beat me up if he finds out." JJ had almost taken a step back, but the soft hand on her wrist had stopped her. "Please? He won't find out. I - I want you to kiss me." Megan had blushed, a cute pink stealing over her cheeks. Breath coming faster, palms sweaty, chest filled with hope and wonder, JJ had leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Megan's small pink mouth. For a few seconds, the world had been right. JJ had felt right, like she was complete and whole. Then hell had opened up and tried to swallow her when Garret and his gang had come out of the side door and spotted them. Megan had looked up and gasped, drawing JJ's attention as a beefy fist connected with her shoulder. JJ shook her head and timed her cut across the street, the old bike frame groaning as she hopped the curb and pedaled into the street. She raced across and down the open neighborhood street, making the first left to escape the boy's sight. Slowing she sucked in air and looked back, relieved to see no one behind her. JJ kept going, not giving up her guard. She zig-zagged through the neighborhood streets, relieved when she'd remained alone for ten minutes. The boys never kept up that long. Turning down yet another street she veered to the sidewalk to avoid a car. "There she is! Get the lesbo!" The shout, from the boys ahead of her and too close for comfort, had JJ's heart jumping into her throat. She wheeled around and forced her tired legs to go faster. She tried to lose them around another set of corners, but the boys only got closer. It wasn't long enough before her legs were cramping and Percy had come up alongside her. He had a nasty grin on his face and shoved her shoulder hard. She went down fast, her bike tire catching on the curb when she tipped. Rolling and gaining her feet, JJ was at least off the ground when the boys began their attack. Garret got the first punch in, right to her nose. It was hard to keep track of which boy hit where but JJ made sure she got her own punches and jabs in where she could. Garret kept up a steady stream of curses and insults as someone hooked a foot behind her knee and sent her to the ground. The concrete was hot and rough under her hands, a sharp stinging on her elbow signaling ripped skin. One boy kicked her ribs with enough force to force the air from her lungs. Garret used his foot to push her onto her side and spit in her face. "No slut dyke is gonna ruin my girl. You keep those nasty hands to yourself. If I catch you with another girl ever again I'm going to break your face." He sneered and straightened. Before anyone else could land a kick a voice rang out, "Break it up boys, that's enough. I've got the cops on the phone and they're on their way." JJ was jostled and stepped on as the boys made a fast get away. She forced herself to her feet and squinted in the bright sunlight for her bike. Before she could limp over a gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her, turning her around. "You look like you could use a nice cool glass of water. Come sit in the shade and relax, catch your breath." JJ looked up into the woman's face, kind grey eyes in a gentle mother's face, surrounded by thick dark curls. "I'm fine. I should be getting home." The woman gave her a knowing look and led her to a wide porch where a small girl sat, blonde curls everywhere. "I'm Debra, you can call me Debbie. This is Ashely, my daughter. She got my attention when the boys were being rather ungentlemanly." "I'm JJ." "Hi JJ, I'm Ashley. I was coloring flowers and carrots for my bunnies to eat and play with." The girl beamed at JJ when she sat gingerly on the step. Her hands were covered in chalk dust and her jeans had chalky handprints in various places. "Those boys are meanies. It's not nice to beat people up." Ashley leaned in and whispered, "They can be buttheads, even when they're grown up. Mommy said so." Despite herself JJ smiled, "Your mom is right." Ashley grinned and sat back, pleased with herself. She turned back to JJ but she spotted JJ's elbow before she could speak. "You need a Band-Aid. You're bleeding." Ashley stood up and walked to the screen door Debbie had vanished behind. "Mommy, JJ needs a Band-Aid for her elbow. She's bleeding." Ashley called, "You want a Wonder Woman Band-Aid? I have a whole box." She asked JJ, turning to face her. "No, I'm fine, I don't need anything." JJ declined the offer, standing stiffly. Ashley ran around in front of JJ and planted her feet, hands on her hips. "You are bleeding. When you bleed you need a Band-Aid. Now sit down until Mommy gets the first aid kit." JJ sat back down, completely taken by surprise. "How old are you Ashley?" JJ asked, curious despite her hesitation around strangers. "I'm eight years old." Ashley said, sitting next to JJ. "I turned eight in May and Mommy and Daddy took me up to my grandparent's house. They have a dog and she had puppies. I wanted to bring one home, but they're too young to leave their mom. I picked one out and when he's old enough and doesn't pee in the house, we're going to go pick him up. He's soo cute! He couldn't see yet, but he licked me when I held him, his little face all smushed up and his eyes closed tight, like this." Ashley made a face, her eyes squeezed tight, making little puppy noises. Debbie walked back out, surprised to hear JJ laughing with Ashley. She knew who JJ's father was, had known her mother. The entire town was familiar with the tragedy of the Jameson family. Mack and Emily had grown up in this town, high school sweethearts who married shortly after she'd completed college. When JJ had been born, there hadn't been a happier set of parents. JJ was two and too young to understand her mother's death, killed in a hit and run by a drunk driver passing through town. Mack had withdrawn from the community, continuing to work and care for the basic needs of himself and his young daughter. Debbie wasn't sure if the rumors of drinking and abuse were true, she hoped they weren't. She remembered Mack as a gentle giant, big and built from years of construction, but gentle as a lamb. It was hard to imagine him as the rumors described. She hoped for his sake, and the sake of the young girl on her porch, that the rumors were false. *** JJ pushed her bike through the gate and dumped it against the side of the house before trudging through the dead grass to the back patio. The old wood creaked under her feet and the side door opened with a shove. The smell of stale smoke met her nose right away, dim light slicing though the thin curtains in the windows. If she was lucky, Mack wasn't home and she could change to hide the gauze taped to her arm. Tip toeing over the ratty carpet in the kitchen she inched down the hall and into her room. Mack's bedroom door was half open, a sure sign he was still at work. She breathed a short sigh of relief, then forced herself to find a clean shirt and jeans. Clothes bundled in her arm, JJ checked again and snuck to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. She showered quickly, rinsing off the dirt, sweat and blood. She toweled off and slipped her clothing back on, the thin tee's long sleeves covered the gauze completely. JJ made it back to her room and tossed the old clothing into her small hamper before lying down on her bed. Debbie had cleaned her up, bandaged the most serious cuts and scrapes. JJ had never had anyone fuss over her like that. Mack certainly didn't. It would be a miracle if there were bandages in the house. JJ swallowed the tears that tried to choke her. If Debra Turner was anything, she was the kind of mother JJ wished for. Kind, caring, and funny without being mean. She'd offered JJ lunch, really insisting JJ eat with herself and Ashley. They'd even given JJ and her beat up old bike a ride home. Ashley. Now there was an adorable kid. Maybe a little too chatty, but happy and sweet. She'd offered JJ a tour of the house while Debbie had prepared lunch, showing JJ the living room, the bathroom and her room. The tour had included introductions to all of Ashley's stuffed animals and a peek at the tree house. JJ had agreed to come over in the next few weeks to play with Ashley, something she wasn't sure about. There were four years between them, but JJ felt older. She didn't have a menagerie of stuffed animals with cute names like Button Bottom and Feisty Whiskers. The walls in her room had nothing on them. Bars were mounted on her window, her clothing stored in a plastic chest of clear drawers. Her bed was a second hand twin mattress with worn springs and torn stitching. Mack had supplied her with the basics, but didn't give a rat's ass about her comfort or happiness. JJ rolled to her side and stared at the wall. She wouldn't mind playing with Ashley, the kid was cute and kinda spunky. It would be nice to play with someone who wouldn't try to knock her teeth out, even if that someone was a talkative eight year old. *** Ashley was sitting on the porch steps reading a short chapter book, one of her first, when a bike coming down the street caught her attention. "Mommy! JJ's back!" Ashley squealed in delight. She jumped up and waved her arms happily, joined by her mother who brushed dirt from her knee pads. "Well hello there JJ. It's nice to see you again. What can I do for you?" Debbie welcomed the young girl with a smile and a friendly wave. "I came by to play with Ashley." JJ dismounted the bike and gave the little blonde a small smile. "Then you ladies have fun, let me know if you need anything. I'll be out here getting these flowers in tip top shape." Having given her blessing Debbie turned back to the flower bed as Ashley bounced down the steps to grab JJ's hand and tug her into the house. "C'mon, you've gotta see my tree house. I have all kinds of cool stuff up there. Mom even lets me color up there." Ashley babbled, leading JJ into the cool house. JJ let Ashley pull her through the house and into the backyard, a tall tree near a corner, a modest wooden structure in its stout branches. The grass is green and well kept, a bike and other outside toys in a neat pile next to the house. Turning her attention back to the tree, JJ watched Ashley climb the wooden planks nailed to the tree, forming steps to the tree house. Ashley crawled through the little swinging door, then called out, "C'mon slowpoke, it's your turn!" JJ climbed up and through the door, which Ashley closed with a small sliding bolt lock. The wooden floor was smooth beneath JJ's hands and knees, a soft rug and a couple cushy pillows at one end. Shelves were built into the walls, holding books, a sketchbook and box of colored pencils and a few toys. The telescope made her smile as she settled against the smooth back wall. Ashley turned and bounced in place, beaming. "What do you think?" she asked, spreading her arms wide. JJ grinned, "It's an awesome tree house. I wish I had one. I'd live in it, sleep in it at night too." JJ looked up, adding "The only thing missing is a roof." "Dad stretches this tarp thing over the top when it's going to rain. It keeps everything dry, so I can leave my toys and stuff up here." Ashley explained, repositioning a doll so it sat up straighter. "What do you usually do up here?" JJ asked, wrapping her arms around her legs, knees pulled up to her chin. "Lots of things. I can read, or color, even bring up a snack if Mom says it's okay. When my friends come over we come up here on sunny days and play." Ashley giggled and leaned in close, "Sometimes we spy on the neighbors. The lady who lives behind us likes to swim without a swimsuit on." She whispered, her bright blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight. "No way." JJ didn't think an adult would do something like that, not during the day when anyone could look over a fence and see. Ashley nodded, her eyes wide with suppressed laughter. "She does too. Comes outside without any clothes and jumps in to swim around. My friend Rebecca, everyone calls her Becca, saw it when she looked through the telescope." Ashley pointed at the brass object laying on its shelf. JJ looked at it, tempted to pick it up and check for herself. She was curious about what a grown up's body would look like. She'd just had the puberty talk last year in school, learning about male and female anatomy, periods, erections, and hair in weird places. The teacher had put on videos with awkward acting that talked about dating, kissing, and even petting. They had made JJ want to squirm in her seat, her body uncomfortably warm and tingly as she watched boys and girls kissing chastely on screen. Mentally shaking her head JJ focused on Ashley's constant stream of talking. "And Becca said she had," Ashley blushed and leaned in to JJ, "She said the lady had hair on her privates. Do you think that's normal?" Ashley asked, looking worried. JJ swallowed, but decided to answer as best she could. "I've heard it is. That everyone gets hair there as they grow up. Girls get breasts too, and boys can...grow beards." JJ finished awkwardly. She didn't want to have to explain an erection, since she didn't really understand what an erection was. The explanation had been vague at best in class. Ashley blinked at her, then shrugged. "I guess that makes sense. So how old are you?" she asked, leaning back against the pillows. "I'm twelve." JJ answered, taking the pillow Ashely offered. The girls talked for a long time. Despite their age difference they had several similarities. Both went to the local public grade school and had lived in the almost small town of Sienna Falls their entire life. Ashley wanted to try out for the school sports teams when she was old enough, something JJ encouraged. JJ herself had been on the basketball team the year before. They agreed that pizza should be a staple part of their diets and that school was a necessary evil. Scary movies were fun to watch at night, but only if there was someone else watching too. By the time JJ had to go home Ashley had begged her to come over again and play some more. JJ got inexplicably shy, but agreed to come by again. Ashley had beamed and given JJ a bone crushing hug then stepped back for JJ to get on her bike. Ashley stood at the end of the driveway and waved until she couldn't see JJ anymore. *** Ashley raced to the door when the doorbell rang. It was the last week of summer and JJ had finally agreed to come to the sleep over Ashley and her friends from school had planned. The other girls were excited to meet JJ, and a little awestruck to have an older girl hang out with them. Flinging open the door Ashley squealed along with the girls on her doorstep. Rebecca and Sarah had arrived together as usual, since they were neighbors. Hugs and chatter happened immediately, Debbie and Ashley's father John coming out of the kitchen to work out pick up times with Sarah's dad. The girls headed straight for Ashley's room, where overnight bags were stashed. "So is she coming?" Rebecca asked, pushing her red bangs out of her eyes. "Yes! But I think she's nervous. Or maybe shy? I don't think she has many friends." Ashley spun in her desk chair, her braid flying out behind her. "What's she like? It's so cool that you have an older friend. None of the older kids ever notice I'm there until they step on me." Sarah pushed her glasses up her nose, perching primly on Ashley's bed. "She's like us, just older. She's really nice, but quiet, so don't pester her with questions." Ashley mock glared at Rebecca, who gave her a 'who me?' look. Further questions were set aside when the doorbell rang again. The girls raced down the hall, the doorbell ringing over and over. "That'll be Chloe, she always rings it more than once." Ashley laughed as she unlocked the door. Chloe stood on the step, looking over her shoulder at JJ, who stood behind her, staring back. Brenda elbowed Chloe to get her attention, "Okay, quit with the bell, the door is open." She scolded, shaking her head when Chloe whipped her head around to see Ashley with Sarah and Becca in tow. Ashley welcomed everyone inside while her parents talked pickup with Chloe's. JJ's bike was in its place, chained to the porch bannister. The girls raced back to Ashley's room, Ashley falling behind the group to take JJ's hand. "C'mon, we hang out in here until pizza gets here, then we get to take over the living room. Mommy said we can watch movies until midnight." Ashley smiled up at JJ, happy to see the older girl smile back. As promised, the girls didn't bomb JJ with questions, but they did make sure to keep her a part of the conversation. Rebecca started it, by asking JJ what grade she'd be in when school started. After JJ answered, the group talked about what they thought the new school year might bring. JJ was able to give them some input, as a brand new seventh grader she had been through the third grade and could impart some knowledge. Pizza was followed by ice cream with enough toppings to make a full-fledged sundae. JJ had never been so stuffed. She'd never had so much fun either. The girls might be younger than her, but they were just as fun as Ashley. They didn't make fun of her baggy clothes or ask weird questions. They giggled over silly things and were wickedly competitive over board games. JJ'd never been part of a group that was so easy going and accepting. She liked the feeling. She could see herself getting used to it. The girls played some Mario Kart, setting up a tournament that Brenda won. She and Chloe squabbled over who'd cheated until Rebecca rolled her eyes and suggested a movie. Sarah fell asleep first, which Chloe giggled over, nudging JJ and telling her Sarah was always the first one to fall asleep. Chloe didn't last much longer. The second movie was almost over when she fell asleep, followed by Rebecca. By eleven JJ was the only one still awake, the others curled up in the mass of pillows and blankets. JJ pretended to be asleep when Debra came out to check on them, smiling as she quietly tip toed through the sleeping girls to turn off the movie and television. Lying in the dark, JJ wondered if this is what her life would have been like if she'd had a mother. Warm, happy, with good friends and a full belly every night. Maybe then Mack wouldn't ignore her, or get so angry when he did notice her. He'd made her tag along to the liquor store two nights ago, sending her to the tall shelves in the back to get him a bottle. The old man at the register had looked surprised to see her come to the counter with the bottle held tightly in her hands. Mack had just grunted and cuffed her shoulder to direct her to the door after he'd paid the man. JJ and Ashley Ch. 00: Prologue She rolled over, careful not to bump anyone. Ashley was curled around a teddy bear to JJ's left, her blonde curls almost covering her pillow. JJ didn't like to compare her life to others, she already knew she was getting the short end of the stick. A part of her couldn't help but wonder what life would be like in ten years. Would she go to college? Would she make it through high school to even get a chance at college? Would boys get cute and make her insides melt like women talked about on TV? JJ didn't like to think about this either, preferring to bury it deep inside herself. Boys were just boys. Some were okay and picked her at recess for soccer or flag football teams. Some were like Garret and bullied her. It was girls that JJ found herself staring at. Teenage girls who already had hips and breasts. She'd see them walking around in groups and would have to force herself to look away. She didn't understand why the swing of hips and the sight of breasts pushing against shirts or sweaters made her chest tight, but they did. That had been part of what made her stop resisting and kiss Megan Perkins. Megan Perkins was the first girl in their class to have breasts. She'd grown them over winter break and returned to school with a small, but noticeable pair. The first time they'd gone to the locker room to change for P.E., all the girls had ooh and awed over the bra that Megan was wearing under her shirt. JJ, having caught herself staring with her mouth hanging open had snapped it shut and refused to look. She had heard the term 'lesbian' before, and knew that it wasn't ok to be one. She'd been able to make it through the rest of the school year without being labeled, but this summer had changed that. Garret had seen her kiss Megan and JJ was sure he'd spread the story when school began next week. July 2000 JJ slung her backpack over her shoulder and muscled her way out the front door. Mack snorted in his sleep, passed out in his arm chair from a night of binge drinking and chain smoking. JJ closed the door quietly and locked it, putting the chain around her neck and dropping the key down her shirt. Jumping down the steps JJ swung her leg over her bike and pushed off, biking in the direction of Ashley's house. The sun was barely up, just a few beams of pink among the pale lavender sky. This was the summer Ashley and Brenda's parents were taking the girls camping. Rebecca was on the east coast with her parents for someone's wedding, so it was just the five of them. Plus the four adults. JJ rolled up to Ashley's house and let herself into the backyard to stash her bike. They'd be gone for most of the week, so JJ's bike would stay in the backyard to be safe. She leaned her bike against the house and knocked on the back door. Mr. Turner opened the door with a gentle smile on his face and a mug of coffee in hand. "Good morning Miss JJ. You got everything you need?" "Yep. And I've brought my summer reading along to work on, just like Mrs. Turner asked." JJ patted her backpack and returned the smile. John held the door open for her, "You do remember that my name is John and my wife is Debbie. Mr. Turner is my father and Mrs. Turner is my mother. I think it wigs Debs out when you call her Mrs. Turner." He chuckled, winking at JJ. JJ blushed at his gentle teasing but was saved from coming up with a reply when Ashley came around the corner and launched herself into JJ. "You're here!" Ashley squealed. Staggering under the sudden pummeling, JJ hugged Ashley, "Of course I am. I said I would be, even if it is ungodly early." "You can help me pack. I'm almost finished, but I can't fit everything in my bag. You're like, a master bag stuffer, so c'mon!" Ashley rattled off in one breath, pulling JJ down the hall to her room. In Ashley's room JJ looked at the bed and could only laugh. It was covered in clothing and toiletries, shoes sticking up amongst the clothing. "Why are you packing an art set?" JJ asked, tapping the watercolor paints. "Because there might be a really cool sunrise. I can't let that just go by without painting it." Ashley explained, pulling a beach towel from the bottom of the bag. "Why not just use your dad's camera to take a picture?" JJ asked, dropping her backpack and beginning to sort the pile on the bed. "I hadn't thought of that. But it wouldn't be the same." Ashley helped match up her socks, stuffing one into the other. "Think about it. I'll try to get all of this to fit." JJ refolded the beach towel and placed it on the bottom of the duffel. Ashley helped refold clothes as JJ packed and together they got everything to fit. Even the watercolors. "You're a magician!" Ashley cried, flopping back on her bed in relief. "Psh, magician I am not. Better at packing...yes." JJ grinned at Ashley when the latter stuck her tongue out. "Okay, fine, you're better at packing. How did you manage to get enough stuff for 4 days into your backpack?" Ashley pushed her duffel to the floor and patted the cleared spot next to her. JJ sat and shrugged, "I don't feel the need to pack seven outfits. Or three pairs of shoes. I've got the essentials and that's it." JJ looked over her shoulder at Ashley, who rolled her eyes playfully. It wasn't long before John knocked on the door and ducked his head in. "Time to load up ladies. We've got to meet up at the Matthews in fifteen minutes." "Troop are moving out. Ten hut!" Ashley saluted him and stood to haul her duffel over her shoulder. John left the door open for them, chuckling down the hall. The drive to the campsite took just about two hours, with one bathroom break. Everyone was ready to get out of the cars when they finally rolled up to their campsite and parked. "Now our site is just ahead here, past these trees. The park ranger said there's a full bathroom, toilets and showers, along the Aspen trail. Garbage cans are located at the perimeter of each site and we will be fined if we leave trash of any kind behind." Mr. Matthews explained as everyone stretched their legs, adding, "If we have any questions or need help, we come up to the ranger's cabin at the entrance. They have a landline there and internet for emergencies. Now let's get unpacked and set up." JJ had never gone camping before and watched in amazement as everyone pitched in to unload the cars and erect the three tents. Each pair of adults had their own small tent and the girls would be sharing a larger eight person tent. A grill was set up to cook food and heat water for coffee. Coolers were rolled over, one filled with beverages, the other with all kinds of food. The men sorted out fishing gear and tackle boxes while the women sorted out the bags, giving the girls' theirs with directions to unpack. The first day was spent exploring the area and setting up camp. The girls found the lake was within walking distance and spent the afternoon swimming while the adults fished and relaxed. By the time the men had caught enough fish for a meal the girls were heading back to shore, arms and legs tired from swimming and splashing. Everyone helped carry the gear back and the girls gathered around the stone fire pit circle. In the fading light Sarah helped Brenda and her mother set up the campfire while Brenda's dad lit the grill and the Turners seasoned the prepared fish. Ashley opened the cooler and pulled waters out for everyone, passing them around before pulling out dried fruit and a bag of sliced French bread for sides. While the fish cooked the girls spread out and chatted, making plans for the following days. There were trails to hike and s'mores to eat and only two more full days to do it in. Dinner was followed by an early bedtime. The girls changed in their tent, then said good night to the adults before zipping up. Despite the muffled giggles and hushed whispers, they fell asleep quickly. The next day was chalk full of activities. Everyone hiked the surrounding paths through the woods, enjoying the morning cool. They returned to camp as the day began to warm, everyone lounging about and relaxing. Sarah and Brenda read their books, Ashley set up her paints by the lake and painted while the moms sat under umbrellas with books and magazines. JJ watched Chloe sew a costume in preparation for her theater group's upcoming show, then took her summer reading book to the lake and sat in the shade of the trees to read and watch Ashley paint. S'mores were had after dinner, with spooky stories read around the fire. Sarah fell asleep curled up between Brenda's dad and Chloe, resulting in bedtime after one last story. The girls shuffled into their tent, warm and cozy from the fire. Sarah was tucked into her sleeping bag and the other girls crowded around the other side to change into their pajamas and talk. Brenda excused herself after a while to make a bathroom run, Chloe in tow wielding the flashlight. Ashley felt a little bit nervous, being alone with JJ in the tent. That was a new feeling for her and she wasn't sure why. "Are you having fun?" Ashley asked, fiddling with the cuff of her pj pants. JJ turned her head to look at Ashley, her tangled dark hair casting shadows across her face. "I am, more than I thought I'd have sitting in the woods for a few days." JJ smiled, leaning back on her hands, her legs stretched out, ankles crossed. Ashley grinned back, at ease once again. "So do you want to come with us every summer? Mom and Dad are picking the spot next year." "Sure, it'll be more fun than sitting at home." JJ sighed, thoughts of home depressing. Ashley didn't know what to say, not sure if JJ needed comfort or cheering up. She had a sense that things weren't the same for JJ. Ashley knew JJ's dad raised her, but had never met him, or been to her house. JJ never talked about life at home, and the one time Ashley had asked, JJ had refused to talk, walking away completely. Looking at JJ now, Ashley felt that same nervous flutter in her stomach. Ashley wasn't all that sure what it meant, but she couldn't stop her eyes from dropping to JJ's thin chest. With her shirt pulled tighter across her body Ashley could see JJ's small breasts pretty clearly. They looked round and plump, even if they were on the small side. Ashley's own breasts were about the same size, still fairly new and a little unfamiliar. Blushing madly and glad for the darkness Ashley squirmed, trying to ignore the weird feelings in her belly. JJ chuckled to herself, turning her head to say something to Ashley when the tent's door flap opened and Brenda and Chloe burst in. "Eew, eew, oh my god, eew!" Brenda collapsed on her sleeping bag, hands clamped over her ears. Chloe struggled with the tent zipper, giggling so hard the flashlight bobbled in her hands. "Okay, what's wrong with Brenda?" JJ asked, sitting up and looking between the girls. "We, we came back" Chloe giggled madly, sitting down heavily on her blanket pile, "passed her parents tent, heard them..." Chloe cackled "they're doing it right now." Chloe sputtered again and covered her mouth in an attempt to muffle the noise. Ashley blushed harder, fuzzy images of kisses and touching and intimate body parts flying through her head. She glanced at JJ, then Brenda, not sure if these were normal thoughts. "So, Brenda's having some sort of break down because of it?" JJ clarified, her own cheeks pink. "Her mom's enjoying it, that's for sure." Chloe snickered, slowly getting control of herself. "They aren't being loud, but we were pretty close to their tent so we heard them. Lots of moaning and groaning. A weird squishing sound. Like when you push your finger into a cup of slip." Chloe looked at the blank stares, sighed. "Ceramics, the slip is like glue for the clay. Think of wet slippery mud." The girls looked back and forth at each other, gauging reactions. JJ chewed her lip, highly aware she had the best idea of what that actually meant. Not only had she already gone through more than one sex ed. class, her curiosity and hormones had gotten the better of her. She had already done some self-exploration in the dark safety of her bedroom, learning to use her body for pleasure. Chloe seemed to be reading JJ's mind, "So, sex. That's what this next year is supposed to be all about in school. I've heard older kids talking about all the health classes. One guy said every teacher lectures you on safe sex." "Every teacher? Even Mr. Summers?" Ashley asked, nose scrunched in distaste. "He's pretty old, do you think he's ever had sex?" "He's got a grandkid, so he must have at some point to have a kid to have the grandkid." Chloe's logic was sound, but didn't help Ashley much. "I hope it's not every teacher. Half the girls in class already have a crush on Mr. Martin. Imagine if he has to talk to us about that, it'll get gross. All of them fawning over him." Brenda shuddered, sitting up and crossing her legs, indian style. "It's not every teacher." JJ piped up, chuckling at the image of seventh grade girls crushing hard over the younger English teacher. "You've done this! Tell us everything!" Chloe exclaimed, turning her full and rather avid attention to JJ. "Uh," JJ looked at the girls, seeing curiosity on all their faces. "Okay, but I'm not going into detail." JJ described how the P.E. teachers sat the seventh grade class down to explain the mechanics of the human body, male and female. Everything from pubic hair to erections, periods and pregnancy would be explained. Safe sex was stressed, and a demonstration of condoms was always given. "There's a couple videos they'll probably have you watch that talk about dating, how to be safe on a date, yada yada. They're awkward at best, but the messages are the important part, so ignore the terrible acting." JJ finished, not sure why she still felt like she was blushing. "So, that's it? Why does everyone make it sound like a big deal?" Chloe pouted. "Because sex is a big deal, dummy. It's what makes babies, and I don't wanna be a mom when I'm in high school." Brenda nudged Chloe, who batted playfully at Brenda's invading elbow. "Some of the guys will act stupid about it, and the girls will pretend to be appalled, but everyone is curious and that's normal. It's good to know about sex and how to be safe on dates. It's important to be informed so no one can take advantage." JJ reminded the girls, feeling older and a little wiser. "Have you been on any dates with boys?" Ashley asked quietly, her question leading to Chloe and Brenda looking to JJ intently for an answer. JJ felt her heart begin to pound, the thumping in her ears filling the sudden silence. "Uh, no, I haven't." JJ cleared her throat, casting about for some way to change the subject. "Has a boy ever asked you out?" Brenda asked, leaning forward to whisper her question. JJ cleared her throat and looked down, unable to speak. She shook her head in answer. "Why no - mph!" Chloe's question was silenced too late, Ashley shooting her a dark look while Brenda poked her hard in the ribs. Swallowing dryly JJ forced the words out, "Boys don't ask me out because I'd rather go on a date with a girl. Everyone in my class knows it so the boys don't ask for dates." "What about the girls? Do they ask you?" Brenda asked. JJ shook her head, her heart still beating too fast in her chest. "It's not okay to date another girl. It's unnatural to feel attracted to your own gender. I mean, sex is all about the continuation of our species, and two girls can't make a baby." Ashley felt everything click together in her head. The bruises, the loner behavior, the hunger JJ had when it came to basic human interaction and affection. She had no friends because the kids in her class shut her out for being different. She was probably beat up for being different. Ashley was treated to a vivid memory of the day they'd met - the gang of boys running JJ off her bike and pummeling her as a group. Suddenly the words they'd used, dyke, lesbo, pervert, all made sense. Her heart ached at this knowledge, that JJ had endured all that because she preferred girls over stinky boys. "Who says it's unnatural to like girls?" Ashley asked. "Everyone. Teachers, kids at school. Fr. Clements has said it over and over, that being gay is an abomination and unnatural to human beings." JJ picked at the toe of her sock, not wanting to look up at the girls. "I think they're full of shit." Chloe and Brenda made noises of agreement to Ashley's bold statement. "You're my best friend and a wonderful human being. You've been here for all of us and if people think you're some sort of weirdo, then they can think all of us are too." JJ looked up at Ashley, surprised by the serious expression she saw. "You guys aren't weirded out that I'd rather kiss a girl than a boy?" All three shook their heads. "Why would we be?" "I don't know, seems like everyone else is." JJ shrugged, the fear that had been building inside her gone, leaving her unsure what to feel. "You're our friend, JJ. We're not going to dump you over something like this. That'd be dumb." Chloe pulled JJ over for a tight hug, which became a small dogpile when Ashley and Brenda joined in. The hug turned dogpile quickly evolved into a tickle fight with breathless shrieking and giggling. One of the adults shone a flashlight at their tent, eliciting more noise as the girls dove for their sleeping spots, attempting to muffle their laughter. There was a gentle reminder that it was late and morning waited for no one, then the light was turned off. The girls stayed in their spots, Brenda slipping into her sleeping bag while Chloe curled up in her blanket nest. "We should probably get to sleep. It's already one in the morning" Brenda yawned, her digital watch glowing dimly in the dark. Quiet goodnights were shared, then silence filled the tent. Ashley watched JJ's silhouette as she lay in her bag, suddenly overcome with curiosity. What would it be like to kiss someone? Movies and t.v. shows made it seem like the greatest thing ever. What would the real thing be like? May 2001 JJ met Ashley outside the middle school gates and together they rode their bicycles to Ashley's house, chattering about how to start their summer off properly. After a quick lunch the girls headed straight to the park for an afternoon of cloud watching and planning. The park was empty when they arrived, so they picked the best spot, a small grassy hill with trees forming a rough circle at the crest of the mound. Leaning their bikes against a tree, Ashley nudged JJ playfully, "You're it." Before bolting across the small clearing. "I don't think so, missy," JJ grinned and gave chase. Their game of tag went on for quite a while, JJ darting between trees to evade and catch Ashley, who was just a bit faster. It ended when Ashley caught JJ for the last time, misjudging the space between, slapping into JJ and toppling them both to the grass. JJ twisted to land on her back, Ashley falling on top of her and squashing the air from JJ's lungs. "I win!" Ashley crowed, sitting up to straddle JJ's hips, fists raised in triumph. JJ rolled fast, catching Ashley by surprise and using that advantage to pin Ashley beneath her. "Now who won?" JJ asked, a smug grin on her face. Ashley giggled and held her hands up in mock surrender. JJ's grin faded as she became fully aware of their positions and just how close they were. The distance between her face and Ashley's was extremely short, their bodies pressed together intimately. Her heart was pounding, no longer from their game, but from the hormones suddenly raging through her body. This wasn't really anything new, they acted up anytime she was around Ashley lately. What was new was her lack of desire to control them. Her mind jumped from the feel of Ashley's body beneath her and focused on Ashley's lips. JJ and Ashley Ch. 00: Prologue Ashley lay extra still beneath JJ, sensing a change in her friend. JJ's eyes were a beautifully dark liquid brown and as Ashley watched they darkened and the pupils expanded when they settled their intense gaze on Ashley's mouth. Ashley found she was suddenly breathing harder than their game of tag warranted, and her chest was full of heat that was rapidly spreading to her tummy. JJ lowered her head and brushed her lips against Ashley's. Both girls were panting and JJ wasn't sure who moaned when she brought her lips back and pressed them firmly and more surely against Ashley's. Ashley's cheeks were a cute pink when JJ finally raised her head, flushing darker under JJ's gaze. The tightness that had tried to form in JJ's chest vanished, replaced by a sudden and fierce desire to protect Ashley. She brushed a tangled curl away from Ashley's forehead with a trembling hand and rested her own forehead against Ashley's. Neither girl felt the need to speak, their eyes communicating what the kiss had meant to each. The only movement for quite some time was when Ashley shyly rested her hands on JJ's waist. Their peaceful moment was interrupted by the gleeful cheers of other kids who'd gotten out of school for summer and were rushing the park. JJ rolled off Ashley and sat next to her. "You wanna go somewhere else?" JJ asked, not looking at Ashley, overwhelmed by a sudden shyness. "Sure." Ashley sat up and touched JJ's elbow softly. *** When JJ pulled her bike into the backyard that night she still couldn't wipe the smile off her face. She was riding high on a cloud of joy and for the first time in her life, felt that everything would be okay. She replayed over and over in her mind the way Ashley had kissed her in the seclusion of the tree house. They'd stuck to chaste kisses, neither brave enough to try French kissing. There was time for that, JJ was sure. JJ rubbed her lips as she opened the back door, not sure if she was imagining the tingling or if it was real. She turned the corner to the hall and smacked right into her father, stumbling back and nearly falling in surprise. "Where've you been? Your curfew is eight thirty." Mack grunted at her, not moving from the hallway. "I lost track of time, sorry. I came straight home." JJ twisted the watch on her wrist, knowing she was in for it. "Where were you?" Mack took a step forward and JJ reflexively took one back. "Out with friends." JJ answered evasively, feeling a tinge of suspicion. Mack never questioned her like this. "What were you doing with these friends? And tell me the truth or I'll beat the tar out of you." Mack growled, his bleary eyes narrowing. JJ stiffened her spine and glared up at Mack. "Just hanging out. What's your problem?" "I got a visit today from Garret Everwood today as I was leaving work. Can you guess what he'd have to tell me?" Mack took two more steps into JJ's space. JJ knew exactly what Garret would have to tell Mack. Anger welled up, burning up the despair that sank in her stomach. "No, I don't know what he'd have to say, and I don't really care," she shouted. Mack's hand whipped out and caught her cheek with enough force to twist her entire torso. "Don't get smart with me you little bitch. He told me what you do with those friends of yours. With girls. I won't have it, not in my house, not my daughter!" Mack thundered, pushing JJ up against the kitchen wall. JJ blocked as many of the blows as she could, her legs dangling uselessly. Mack was too close to kick and held her off the floor with one beefy arm. Her head began to ring from the hits, spots appearing in her vision. A yelp escaped her clenched teeth when Mack slammed her into the wall, her head rapping hard against the sheet rock. She knew Mack was still yelling but she couldn't hear him anymore over the pain bursting through her skull. Her body was already aching from his blows and she felt something warm running down her face. Some part of her knew it was useless to fight back so she retreated into herself. JJ kept her arms up, but for all intents and purpose, she gave in. Mack pummeled her, screaming and shouting how he'd beat the perversion out of her, that he wasn't raising a slut who'd kiss anyone in public, much less other girls. He finally dropped her to the floor, kicking her slumped form once for good measure before stalking away to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. JJ lay on the floor, tears mixing with snot and blood. Breathing was difficult and the pain radiating through her body made everything worse. When Mack had dropped her JJ had felt and heard her ankle crack alarmingly. Her entire body was a mess of pain and hurt. She didn't know how long she laid there, but breathing finally became less of a struggle and she cracked an eye open to look around. The kitchen was dark, the small curtains still open on the back windows. Mack's bedroom door was closed and the light underneath was out. JJ swallowed and made up her mind. She was leaving, tonight. JJ had no idea where she'd go, but she knew she would die if she stayed any longer. It took her a good hour to reach the bathroom and clean up. Her right eye was slowly swelling shut and JJ knew she'd be covered in bruises soon. She had a cut on her eyebrow and just inside her hairline, both oozing blood. Her nose was clearly broken and the blood had begun to congeal. Her bottom lip was split and swollen. Her arms were already a mess of bruises and ached almost as bad as her nose and ankle. Another two hours passed before JJ was ready. She had her backpack and a small gym duffel packed with her clothing, a few books, some toiletries and the $600 she'd carefully saved and hidden from the last 6 years of birthday's and Christmas's. She sat on the bed to stuff her feet into shoes, her ankle throbbing dully, wrapped snuggly with a sock and tied carefully inside her worn out high tops. She needed food, then would be ready to leave. She planned to bike to the bus station just outside town and get a ticket to the furthest destination. Her general plan was to get to Maine where she had an uncle from her mother's side. Tucked safely inside her backpack was the last birthday card he'd sent, with his address printed on the envelope. Maine was across the entire country, but the long trip would put enough distance between her and Mack to allow JJ to breathe easier. JJ eased out of her room and into the kitchen where she silently snuck packs of ramen and the last two apples into her backpack. She found two bottles of booze, one nearly empty and the other full. She packed the full bottle and filled the empty one with bottled water from the fridge. She found the matches and a few other supplies to pack, then snuck out the back door. She limped to her bike and took the chain with her, wrapping it around the frame. The night air was cool as she pedaled slowly off, a thin black hoodie zipped up and the hood pulled over her head. JJ made it to the end of the street and paused. She had to go right to leave town, but she couldn't leave without doing one last thing. Turning left JJ headed to the one person she'd miss in this town. JJ laid her bike in the shadow of the Turner's house and crept to Ashley's bedroom window. She tapped three times then waited, her heart pounding from fear, exhaustion, and adrenaline. Ashley's face appeared in the window, the pane quietly lifting. "JJ?" Ashley whispered, leaning out the window. JJ nodded and waited for Ashley to move before climbing inside her room. "What are you doing?" Ashley whispered, turning on her desk lamp, the dim light enough to see by. "I had to see you before I left. I'm leaving town tonight." JJ panted, the pain making it difficult to talk. "Wait, what? You're leaving? But summer just started, we had so much stuff planned. What's going on JJ?" Ashley shook her head, blonde curls tumbling over her shoulders. "Mack found out I'm gay. He beat me when I came home tonight. I'm not staying here to be beat to death." JJ knew she was being blunt to the point of being rude, but she didn't want to linger too long. Ashley's face registered shock, then anger followed by concern. "Are you okay? Have you called the police? Where do you think you'll go? Why can't you just stay here? Mom and Dad will let you stay." JJ shook her head, wincing at the pain that flared up. "It's no use. I'm a minor so they'd probably stick me in foster care, which will be worse. Plus Mack's friends with the sheriff. I'm fine, I've got an uncle who I can stay with." "Your uncle lives in Maine! How the hell are you getting there?" Ashley asked, advancing on JJ as she sat heavily on the bed. "I'll figure that out later. Right now I just gotta get out of here." JJ sighed. Ashley sat next to JJ and pushed the hoodie back before JJ could stop her. Ashley's gasp twisted JJ's heart and had her standing to turn away. "JJ, you need to go to a hospital. Your nose..." Ashley didn't finish, but followed JJ across the room. "I'm really sorry Ashie." JJ whispered, swallowing tears that she refused to shed. "I don't want to risk staying and Mack finding out about you." "Don't worry about me!" Ashley hissed, turning JJ to face her. "You have clearly been abused. Go to the authorities and get help!" "No!" JJ shook Ashley's hands off her arms angrily. "What good would that do? Mack's been doing this as long as I can remember. No one ever tried to stop him, nobody tried to help me. Why would I go to the people who ignored the signs now? I have to leave. It's the only solution." Ashley swallowed noisily, tears falling from her eyes as she realized JJ was determined to go. "I don't want you to leave," she whispered. JJ glared at Ashley out of her one good eye, her expression softening quickly. "I don't want to leave either, Ashie. If I stay, Mack will probably kill me, which isn't how I want to go." Ashley nodded, leaning against her closed bedroom door and staring at the floor. JJ limped up to her, tugging on a wayward curl. "Hey, please don't cry over this." JJ whispered, her voice thick with unshed tears. Ashley raised her head and looked up at JJ, sniffing. JJ wiped the tears away and rested her forehead against Ashley's. "If you're going to leave then you better promise you'll write to me and call me when you can." Ashley murmured, holding JJ's hand to her cheek. "I promise." JJ grinned crookedly, her lip threatening to crack open again. She closed her eyes and soaked in Ashley's presence for a few precious minutes. JJ tipped her head enough to kiss Ashley quickly, then turned away and shuffled to the window. "JJ...wait!" Ashley stopped JJ at the window, wrapping her in a tight hug. JJ made a weird sound in her throat and pulled Ashley up against her kissing her hard enough to re-split her lip. "I love you, Ashie." JJ whispered, pulling away and swinging a leg over the sill. She had to leave before she lost all nerve. Ashley ran to the window as JJ slipped out. "I love you too, Jordyn." She whispered, watching JJ limp to her bike, hauling two bags onto her back. JJ pulled her hood back up before slowly pedaling off into the dark.