18 comments/ 14295 views/ 23 favorites Hard Choices Ch. 02 By: AltheaRose Jess was sitting naked across from me on my bed. Her legs were spread wide and she was rubbing her bare pussy. "Come on," Susie, "let's go together." "I don't know if I want to get waxed," I replied. "Why don't you just keep shaving?" "It's a pain," she said. "You shave your legs and pits, is running a razor over your pussy that much more?" "Well, maybe if you offered to help..." Jess smiled as she rubbed herself. "If I agreed, would you stop bugging me about waxing?" "Sure, but I might need you to do it a lot," my roommate said. "God, you are such a slut," I retorted and pushed my bare foot between her legs. "Ooh, are you going to toe-fuck me now?" We laughed and bent forward for a kiss. Kissing had become a big part of our daily interactions. Since the night we had a three-way with a tall, gorgeous redhead, Jess and I have enjoyed a physical closeness that added to our emotional bond. We were best friends, roommates, soul partners and semi-lovers. At times it was impossible to separate what we were at any one moment. The only rule we had was that we were not going to become full lovers. In our minds that meant, we would not go down on each other, insert our fingers or use a dildo on each other. Funny, how we developed these rules and still kissed and fondled each other a lot. We would sleep in the same bed, not every night, but frequently. I loved the feeling of her naked body next to mine. Waking up in the morning to find her sexy butt pushed up against mine was a special pleasure. "I never shaved anyone there," I said. "I trust you," she replied and slipped a finger inside. "Stop that, you're turning me on," I pleaded. "And the problem is...?" "The problem is we both have a ton of studying to do. I can't concentrate looking at your body and watching you finger yourself. So, go put some clothes on." "I will if you promise you'll shave my pussy this weekend." "God, the things I have to do to be your friend," I whined. Jess jumped up and went to her room. It took me a few minutes to clear my mind of the sight of her pretty open pussy just inches from me. I knew tonight I'd have a rendezvous with my vibe. After a couple hours of straight studying, I stretched and went to the kitchen for a Diet Coke. As I passed Jess' room I saw her sprawled on her bed amidst books and her laptop. Her black glasses were down to the tip of her nose and she was peering over them to read something from a text book. She was so engrossed in her work that she did not notice me in her doorway. After a couple minutes she looked up and saw me. "What?" "You want something from the kitchen?" "How about a DC and some pretzels?" I nodded but didn't leave. "What?" she said, only this time with a rise in her voice. "You are too cute for words. I love looking at you." Jess smiled. "You're demented, but I love you anyway." I dropped her Coke off along with a bowl of pretzels. "Mind if I sleep alone tonight?" I asked. As was her habit, she peered at me over the rims of her glasses. "You know, Susie, you can masturbate in front of me. I won't mind." "I bet you wouldn't, pervert," I said. "But, I'm still a little shy about that." "Suit yourself, but at least think of me." "That's a given," I said and bid her good night. I finished my work and the soda. After hitting the bathroom, I crawled naked into bed and retrieved my vibe from the bedside stand. With the lights out, I started out slowly. Images of Jess from before with her pussy exposed floated in front of me. As I got wetter, I imagined Christa naked crawling on my bed. Predator eyes bore into me and her tongue flicked out and back of her lush lips. I inserted the vibe and increased the speed. As I was plunging and enjoying the sensations of being filled and tingled at the same time, an image of a tall, dark-haired women flashed through my mind. It was too quick for me to identify, although I had the feeling I knew her. I pushed my toy all the way in and came hard. In the afterglow of my orgasm, I thought about the new woman who appeared in my fantasy. I still couldn't bring her into focus, but it made me warm all over thinking about her. By now I was too tired to do anything but give into sleep. *** Sunday rolled around and Jess and I were on edge anticipating another visit from Christa. She had promised us to come by and tell us about her date with Calvin, the football player. As much as we wanted to hear those details, I know both of us were wondering if we would have a repeat of the incredible three-way we experienced with Christa. Jess was wearing sweats, top and bottom. I had dressed in jeans and a fleece pullover. As we sat on the couch going through the Sunday paper, I felt a familiar and totally unwelcome wetness. "Fuck," I shouted. "What?" Jess asked. "Just got my period," I announced and headed to the bathroom to start attending to matters. "Ooh, poor baby," cried out Jess. "Guess I might have to take care of Christa all by myself." "Bitch," I yelled back. Damn it. She was right. I did not do sex when I was flowing. Damn it, damn it, damn it, I was looking forward to another session with Christa. She did things to me last time that completely destroyed my previous concept of what good sex was. Ten minutes later I was back on the couch properly outfitted and wearing clean panties under my jeans. Jess was humming a tune that started to get on my nerves when there was a knock at the door. Jess ran and opened it to Christa. God, she was beautiful. Today her red hair was worked up into some sort of bun on top. There were a few tantalizing straggles hanging along her long, pale neck. She wore a green turtleneck cotton shirt and black jeans. She dropped her coat on a chair and slipped off her long scarf. Her nipples were nearly bursting from the turtleneck. She kissed Jess and slipped her hands on her butt. Pulling Jess tight to her, she kept contact with her lips and one hand moved up her back and then disappeared in front. From Jess' groan I suspected Christa had found Jess' boob and was giving it all the attention it deserved. Finally, they broke apart. Christa grinned as she approached me. She sat on the couch and pulled me into her arms. She kissed me and I felt myself wanting to melt into her body. Her hand grabbed the hem of my pullover and yanked it up exposing my right boob. In a second her lips had latched on to my nipple and heat raced through my veins. Her hand ventured toward my crotch, but I stopped her. She looked up. "Time of the month," I said. "Doesn't bother me," she replied and bit on my nipple. I moved her hand from my leg and said, "Sorry, it bothers me." She kissed my boob some more and then sat up. My top dropped down and my boob felt lonely. "Got any food?" We decided to order in a pizza and I offered to make Margaritas. By the time the pizza arrived we had finished one round and were on our second. "This will be it for me," Christa said. "I can't stay long." I could see the disappointment in Jess' eyes. Christa noticed it as well. "Hey, I've got a lot of work piled up and I need the time. Sorry." "Don't let this college stuff take away from what's important," said Jess. "Like wild, deviant sexual encounters?" teased Christa. "Exactly," Jess replied. "So, how'd it go with Calvin last night?" I asked. "Nice. We went out for pizza. I better be careful with all this pizza or I won't be able to fit in my jeans." Jess leaned forward, placing a hand on Christa's thigh. "Anytime you want help getting out of them, you know who to call." "God, you're incorrigible," I said. "If that's another word for horny," Jess said, "Then damn sure I am." "Thanks," said Christa, "I'll keep that offer in mind. Anyway, we spent the evening talking. He's a pretty cool guy. Like Paul, he's serious about college and is using football as a way to get a good education. He's planning on law school. You look at him and just think jock, but there's a lot there. I had fun." "That's it?" cried Jess. "No sex? No show me yours? No throw him on the bed and fuck his brains out?" Laughing Christa said, "Nope. Just boring old talking, person to person." "Guy is gay," proclaimed Jess. "Definitely has to be gay." "Don't think so," said Christa. "I think he is really a nice guy. We had fun and agreed to go out again. Maybe next time something will happen that will appeal to your demented sense of relationships." "Better happen," said Jess. "I want details and the more salacious the better." Christa and I said at the same time, "Salacious?" "Yeah, I can use big words, bitches. I'm not all just a hot body." "I'll take your word on your ability with language," said Christa. "But, I have no doubt about the hot body part." She slid her hand up Jess' thigh. Jess squirmed and smiled a lot. "Hey, I really have to run," said Christa. "Let's make plans to get together soon. Jess, we can talk after Comm class." Jess stood and moved in front of Christa. I was across the table from them. Christa stared at the lower part of Jess at eye level. She reached out and pulled Jess' sweatpants done, exposing her bare pussy. "Hmm, keeping it smooth, I see." She ran her hand over the mound and her finger traced a trail through the swollen lips. "Yes," Jess said, trying to control her breath. "I made Susie promise to help me keep it smooth." "I'm sure that's not a hardship," she said and I watched as one finger vanished inside of Jess. "Oh, god, that feels so good," Jess said. Christa moved her face forward and let her tongue run up between the folds and end at the bump. Jess' ass was bouncing in reaction and she had grabbed her own boobs under her top. Christa pumped quickly, added two more fingers, and pumped. She kept her tongue in contact with the clit, which she now exposed with her thumb. I didn't know how Jess could last much longer. She didn't. I saw Christa's lips close on Jess' clit and suck. Jess cried out and her knees buckled. Christa pulled her face away and used two hands on Jess's butt to steady her. Once Jess gained control, Christa offered me her fingers, still covered with my roommate's slickness. I smiled and shook my head. Christa cleaned her own fingers. She then pulled up Jess' pants. Standing, she kissed Jess and hugged her. "I really have to go," Christa said. "Jess, you are delicious. Thank you." Christa came around to me as I rose. We hugged and kissed. Her lips had a faint trace of Jess, but the softness and warmth of them was all I could focus on. Two minutes later, Christa was out the door and Jess and I were sprawled on the couch. "She's a witch or she-devil," said Jess. "How could she make me cum so fast and so hard?" I assured her I had no idea. "You aren't complaining, are you?" "Fuck, no. I'll take all of that I can get." Jess closed her eyes and soon was napping. I threw a blanket over her and cleaned up the kitchen. I went to my bed and attempted to read a couple chapters of an assigned book. I tried to concentrate, but my mind kept drifting back to watching my roommate have an orgasm. My hands also kept slipping to my nipples and playing with them. Images of that red hair tight against Jess's pussy seared my brain. Thinking about her lips on my nipple made me squeeze my legs together as I pinched that nipple. Another flash of shiny, dark hair hovering on my chest and another set of lips on my nipple unsettled me. Rather than try to unravel the puzzle, I just let my imaginary lovers ravish me. All in all, it wasn't a bad Sunday afternoon. The next week was ordinary to the point of bordering on boredom. Jess and I spent most of our time cracking the books and working on papers for our classes. We managed to sleep together on Thursday. I noticed a difference as we lay naked together. Certainly we showed affection, but neither of us initiated much sexual touching. I enjoyed feeling her naked breasts pushing into mine, but neither of us touched or kissed each other's breasts. We lay entwined but did not engage in sensual kissing. I enjoyed this closeness. It wasn't sexual, it was comforting. I tried to uncover why both of us were behaving this way. In the back of my mind, I kept coming back to our last encounter with Christa. I wondered if the orgasm Christa provided Jess somehow shifted the equation a bit. Maybe Jess was thinking that she wanted Christa to herself and not have to share her with me. At first I thought I should be offended. The more I thought about it, however, the less I resented the idea. As we drifted to sleep in each other's arms, I felt at peace with the relationship Jess and I had formed. Even though I might miss the intensity of sex with Christa, I could see myself stepping aside and letting Jess move forward. Strange feelings. It's not like I was waiting for someone else. At least I didn't think so. My last clear thought before sleep overtook me was walking down a long hall trying to follow a shining mass of black hair. Every time I got close, the person faded away. Christa called and begged off our plan to get together on Saturday. She told Jess there were some other things she had to do. Jess was a little pissed that Christa was not more specific. She tossed her phone on the couch. "This sucks," she said. "All revved up and nowhere to go." "Poor baby," I offered in mock sympathy. "There's always your trusty battery-powered companion." "Yeah, but I was kina looking forward to something a little more edgy." Jess looked at me for a long time. Finally, I gave in. "What?" "I know we agreed not to, you know, like do each other. But..." "Jess, I don't want to have sex with you." "Let me finish," she said. "But, how about we masturbate together. You know watch each other." I had never done that before. Even though I had full sex with Christa while Jess watched, I still felt that masturbation was such a private activity that I couldn't engage in group masturbation. I explained this to Jess. "Ok," she said. "Could you watch me while I do myself?" "You'd want me to do that?" "It would be extremely hot," she said. As long as I didn't have to participate, I agreed. Jess jumped up and grabbed my hand. "This is going to be so much fun!" She led me to the bathroom. "You want to do it in the bathroom?" I asked. "No, I want you to shave me first." "Jess, I don't..." "Susie, you promised. Please! It will help me get started." "I don't think getting started has ever been one of your problems." Jess grinned and shed her two pieces of clothing. She sat on the toilet and spread her legs. "The shaving cream and my razor are over there." Kneeling in front of her, I had to admire the exposed sex. In spite of our agreement, there was nothing more I wanted at that second than to press my lips to her. "Fell the stubble," Jess said. I ran my hands along her mound, over her lips and even between her legs and touched her Grabbing a washcloth, I ran it under warm water and then pressed it against Jess. She responded by moving her hips and thrusting against my hand. "Easy, girl," I said, "I'm just softening things up." "Doesn't mean I can't enjoy it," she replied. Dropping the cloth, I filled my palm with shaving cream. Jess twitched as I spread over her. I knew enough about feminine grooming to be able to shave everything above her lips. I ran a finger through her slit to expose the parts I didn't want the razor to touch. "Ooh, that feels good, Susie." "Jess, stop it. I'm just making sure I don't slice off your pussy." "Ok, but I wouldn't mind if you made double sure of it." She squirmed under my touch. Carefully, I cleaned up along her thighs and lips. Jess placed her legs on my shoulders and exposed her entire bottom half. I quickly used the razor from slit to butt. "Make sure it's smooth, babe." One more time I ran my fingers along her skin. This time I did tease her rosebud and scratched it with my fingernail. "Oh, god, yes. That's nice." I resisted plunging my finger in her butt and returned to carefully feel every inch of her labia and mound. I even pushed back her clit hood and felt the nub to be sure there was no hair there. I am nothing if not thorough. Jess grabbed my hand and tried to force my finger inside her. "Not part of the deal—remember." "Bitch," she said. We looked at each other and smiled. "At least help me up," Jess said. I stood and pulled her up. She fell into my arms and we kissed. She pried my legs apart with her leg and inserted one between mine. She began humping my leg; her pussy rubbing against my jeans. "I thought you were going to masturbate," I said. My hands landed on her firm butt and pulled her to me. "Just the warm-ups, Susie." I let her go for a minute or so and then stepped back. Jess gasped when we broke free. "My bed or yours?" I asked. "Mine," she said. I helped her clear the piles of papers and books from her bed. We pulled back the covers. "Would you mind sitting at the bottom? I like to rest against the headboard." I scooted down and she arranged the pillows behind her. Jess reached into her side table and pulled out a purple dildo. I hadn't seen this one before and it was not a vibrator, just a penis-shaped piece of rubber. Jess spread her legs and raised her knees. I could see wetness along her folds. She ran her fingers up her slit until they glistened. She offered them to me and I shook my head. She coated her lips with her essence and leaned forward. I knew what she wanted. I moved my head and we kissed. I tasted her and my own pussy reacted. At this point I was seriously doubting the wisdom of our deal not to go down on each other. "Nice?" she asked. "Very," I said. "There's more where that came from," she said with a grin. "Right now, I'll have to take your word." Sighing, she sat back. Slowly she began playing with herself. Her fingers danced along her labia and teased her clit, still hidden under its hood. More moisture appeared at her opening. Fixing me with her eyes, she inserted one finger as deep as possible. I had to look. As Jess slowly pumped in and out, I felt myself licking my lips. Jess added a second finger and then a third. She was pumping harder and faster. She used her free hand to pull back her hood and circle her clit with her finger. She ran that finger down to obtain some natural lube and covered her clit. Now her finger glided back and forth as her other hand pumped hard. Suddenly she pulled her fingers out and I moaned at the loss of the intoxicating squishing sounds and the heady aroma filling the space between us. She grabbed the dildo. "Would you?" she asked pointing the base toward me. I shook my head no. She placed the tip at her opening and in one smooth motion buried it to its base of ersatz testicles. A long sigh of pleasure escaped her lips. The dildo rested inside her and Jess used her hands to pinch her nipples. Moving from pinching to tugging and jerking, she moaned. Leaving one hand on a breast, she took hold of the dildo's base and extracted it until just the big mushroom head remained inside. Now, she began fucking herself with the purple cock. Her slow thrusts turned to fast and then all I saw was a blur. She kept torturing her nipple with one hand and fucking with the other. Her moans morphed to groans and then to cries. As her cries grew louder, Jess thrust harder. When I thought she would explode, she called out and started cumming. Her breath came out in short gasps and she spasmed. Her legs clamped together and she released her raw nipple. Jess rolled on her side and curled up into the fetal position. "Take it out, please, Susie." I reached between her legs and pulled the dildo from her. It was covered in her juices and her pussy gaped open. I dropped the dildo on the floor and crept up behind her and spooned her. Hard Choices Ch. 02 I reached for the sheet and covered us. "That was awesome, Jess. Thanks for letting me watch." She pulled my hand to the breast she had abused. I felt the rock hard nub and cupped her boob. "It was ten times hotter having you there. I have never cum that hard by masturbating. Thank you, Susie. I love you." "Love you, too." Soon Jess was sleeping soundly. I was fighting my own arousal. Was I crazy by not giving into screwing this fabulous woman I held in my arms? Kissing her neck, I imagined the two of us taking each other. With that image burning into me, I drifted away. Early Sunday morning I was reading the paper and enjoying a cup of coffee. Instead of sleeping in, I got up and left Jess still asleep. I would have an hour or so to myself. The quiet in our apartment, the simple joy of reading the Sunday paper and relaxing was well worth the sacrifice of a few hours of sleep. I recalled the intensity of watching Jess masturbate last night. It filled me with warmth. My usual attire of flannel PJ bottoms and long-sleeved tee shirt added to my relaxed mood. After Jess and I became friends, I got the courage to wear my favorite bunny slippers around the apartment. I got a new pair from my mom every Christmas. It was sort of a joke, but she also knew I just loved the comfy feel. Of course, I would die of embarrassment if anyone else ever saw me in them. I fixed a plate of French toast and splurged by using real maple syrup and butter. To hell with counting calories on Sunday morning. Struggling with one corner of the crossword I was surprised to hear a knock at our door. I considered running to put on different clothes when the rap intensified. Looking through the peephole I saw a familiar face. What puzzled me was why this person was at our door. I opened and greeted Brigid Callahan. She was one of the star volleyball players. Since I served as a trainer for the team, I had gotten to know her. We weren't buds and never socialized, but we did have a cordial relationship. I guess when you have your hands all over a person's naked body during a massage, you do tend to form some type of bond. "Brigid, hi." "Can I come in, Susan?" "Uh, sure. Yeah, come in." Now I truly regretted the bunnies on my feet, my uncombed hair and make-up free face. "Want a coffee?" "Coffee would be great, if you don't mind." I led her to the kitchen and pushed the stack of papers aside so she would have a place at the table. I poured her a mug. There was cream and sugar on the table. She fussed with her coffee, not making eye contact with me. "God, Susan, I don't know how to begin?" She was close to tears. "Well, how about telling me why you're here?" "That's just it," she said. "I'm not sure why I came. Maybe I should just leave." She went to stand and knocked over her coffee drenching the newspaper on the table. I thought that the simple pleasure of finishing the crossword just vanished under a dark stain. "Oh, shit, I'm so sorry. This is not working out. I have to leave," she said as she sank back onto the chair. I grabbed her hand. "Brigid, calm down. It's just spilled coffee. What's the matter?" This time she could not hold back the tears and began sobbing. Her shoulders shook and her breath came in gasps. Her hands dangled between her legs. I stopped mopping up the coffee and placed a hand on her shoulder. Brigid recoiled at my touch. "Brigid, what's going on?" "You've destroyed my life," she said between gasps. I froze. What could she possible be talking about? We only had such a superficial relationship, how could I have done anything to harm her, let alone destroy her? "Brigid, let's sit in the living room. We need to talk." She slowly stood and made her way to our couch. We sat on opposite ends. She still had difficulty looking at me. Her sobs were slowing as she struggled for control. In spite of her crying I appreciated how pretty she was. Like a lot of the players, she wore her hair long and either braided it or fashioned a pony tail for games. Today it hung loose, falling on her shoulders. I had long admired her dark hair, with an ever-present bright sheen. Her fair complexion and dark eyebrows drew your attention to her deep blue eyes. As the leading outside hitter, she was six feet two, but never looked anything other than graceful on the court. Today she wore jeans and a team sweatshirt. I knew first hand that she had an attractive figure with toned muscles, small breasts and long, shapely legs. As her last tear was wiped away on her sleeve, she raised her head. Her nose was read and her eyes slightly swollen. Still, she looked pretty. "Ok, Brigid, what's going on? How could I possibly do anything to destroy your life?" She started to speak and then stopped. She was staring over my shoulder. I turned to see Jess in the doorway, stretching with her arms above her head. Her eyes were closed as she yawned. I guess what made Brigid stare was Jess was wearing just a pair of black bikini bottoms. Her bare breasts bounced with her every move. "Uh, Jess, company," I said. She opened her eyes and spotted Brigid. "Oops, pardon the tits," she said and ducked back into her bedroom. Jess and I discovered we both loved the Dexter TV series and we had watched the entire collection on Netflix. The first time I had walked in on her topless, she used that line from one of the shows. I immediately got the reference and we cracked up. Now, whenever one of us inadvertently caught the other without a top, we always said, "pardon the tits." "See,' said Brigid, "that's what I'm talking about." "Brigid, you aren't talking about anything, nor are you making any sense." "Susan, you've seen me naked—lots of times. You've given me massages, actually great massages, but that's not the point. But, you know I have hardly any boobs." "Brigid, I never thought..." "Let me finish. I know you must have great boobs. They look so good in the clothes you wear. Now, I see firsthand that your roommate has fabulous boobs. So, I guess that's why I've been left out in the cold." "Brigid, you are not making any sense. Really, I haven't a clue what you're talking about." Jess had returned clothed in sweatpants and a tee shirt. "Hi, I'm Jess. Sorry about before. Didn't know you were here." Brigid just looked at Jess' outstretched hand. "Jess, this is Brigid Callahan. She's on the volleyball team." "Oh." "She came by today to tell us that we are destroying her life." "Really?" said a surprised Jess. "And, how are we doing that?" "Don't know, but it seems to have something to do with our boobs." "Boobs?" "Yep, boobs." We both looked at Brigid. Her pale complexion had turned to deep crimson. I was afraid she was going to break down again. She took a long breath to steady herself. "It's just that now that I see the two of you and how beautiful you both are that I understand. I mean I knew you were unbelievably pretty, Susan. But, to have both of you like so damned beautiful, I'm totally screwed. So, now I totally understand." "Understand what?" I practically screamed. "Understand why Christa dumped me and is screwing you two." Jess and I looked at each other in amazement. "What time is it?" I asked. Brigid looked at her watch and said nine forty-five. "It's too early for tequila," I said out loud. "Jess, do we have any vodka?" "Think so." "Screwdrivers it is," I announced. "Huh?" said Brigid. "Honey, if we are going to talk about what I think we are going to talk about I need a drink. I know we have OJ, so I am about to mix up a pitcher of screwdrivers and then the three of us are going to have a long, long talk." Minutes later with drinks in hand, we reconvened in the living room. Brigid and I were at opposite ends of the couch and Jess pulled up a chair close to me. Brigid gulped half her screwdriver. She took a deep breath and looked at Jess and me. She then finished her glass and held it out for me to refill it. "Christa and I have been dating for over a year," she said. "I like fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." "How did you meet?" Jess asked. "She played on the team in my freshman year, her sophomore year. She's really good, well until she tore her knee apart. Anyway, we met and hit it off right away. Even though she was living in some sorority and I was living in a dorm, we started hanging out together. It was like a dream for me. Here was this beautiful, smart, athletic, funny woman who wanted to hang with me." I looked at her, thinking she could not possibly think she was not all of what she ascribed to Christa. "Brigid, I don't want to interrupt, but have you ever looked in a mirror?" She stared at me. "Really. You are one of the most attractive women I have ever met." "You're fucking with me, right?" she said. "No way. Jess?" "She's right, Brigid. You're a hottie." Brigid shook her head. She finished her second drink and held the glass out for more. I knew if she had driven here, we'd be taking her keys away as I filled her glass. "Ever since seventh grade when I got my big growth spurt, I've been a freak. I was like a whole head taller than anyone in my grade, including the boys. I had braces, thick glasses and acne. I dreaded going to school each day. Of course to top everything off, I had no boobs. I don't mean tiny boobs, I mean no boobs. I could take my top off and everyone would think I was a guy. It was like that in seventh, eighth and even the first couple years of high school. My nicknames were "Stick", "Slim", "Stretch" and, best of all, "NT", for no tits. Of course, theoretically people only called me that behind my back. But you know what high school is like. That became everyone's favorite nickname for me. So, for most of my high school years I was NT. Great for your ego." Brigid drank some more of her drink and eased her legs out in front. I envied her long limbs and recalled how wonderful they felt under my fingers during a massage. "Anyway, by sophomore year, I convinced my parents to let me get contacts and I had finally gotten rid of my braces. My acne also calmed down. But, I still had little in the chest department. People wanted me to play basketball, but the crowds at the games were too big. Being so shy, I opted for volleyball, where we hardly ever have anyone show up for a tourney. I had a couple girlfriends from the team, but we weren't all that close. "So, my social life was non-existent. In addition, my parents are really great, but they are also like super conservative. We never talked about sex. I think they were happy I never got involved with boys. I asked my cousin to be my date for the senior prom. How pathetic. You should see our pictures. Guess my side of the family got the tall genes. Ralph barely reached my shoulder. Yeah, I graduated from high school a total virgin and having never kissed anyone. Wait, I take that back. My one good friend, Sheila, the manager of our team, practiced making out with me a couple times. And you guys can laugh, but that was the most sex I ever had in my life. Imagine being a senior in high school and the only thing I ever did was let a girls kiss me for like ten seconds." I wasn't sure why Brigid was telling us this painful story, but I figured she needed to do so. "I got a scholarship to come here and play," she continued. "By now, I had gotten what little boobs I have. I figured I'd have a chance to start new. The first week I was in the shower on our floor, it was all girls. I just stepped out and was drying off when one of the girls from the other end of the hall saw me. She was with two other girls. She looked at my chest and said, 'Hey, the boy's shower is downstairs.' I guess she was just trying to make a joke, but it really hurt. I wrapped my towel around me and bolted to my room. "We had practice that afternoon and I sucked. My head was so far out of the game, the coach sat me down. After practice, Christa came up. We had chatted a couple times, but never really talked. I mean she was an upper classman, a star player and like the most popular person on the team. She asked me if I were all right. I said yes and then burst into tears. She sat with me and I told her about what had happened in the shower. Laughing, she looked around to be sure we were alone in the gym. She grabbed her shirt and pulled it and her sports bra up to her chin." Brigid teared up again. I hoped she could keep it together. "So, I'm looking at her breasts, which I thought were about the most beautiful things in the world because they belonged to this gorgeous woman. She says I bet these are no bigger than yours. I told her they were way bigger. She laughed again and grabbed one of my boobs. I almost screamed. That was the first time anyone, ever, touched me. I couldn't believe it. She says that my boob felt just fine. She pulled her shirt back down and put her hands on my shoulders. "She said, 'You are a beautiful woman, Brigid Callahan. If someone can't see that or chooses to ignore it, I say, fuck them. Now, let's get dressed and go overdose on a quart of Ben and Jerry's.'" For the first time since she arrived at our apartment, Brigid smiled. She must have been recalling how good it felt to have made a friend and one who accepted her and loved her for what she was. "She's right, Brigid," I said. "Boobs are not that important." "You know, Susan, I hear that a lot. I hear it mostly from girls who have fantastic boobs. I don't hear it from girls like me. So excuse me if I don't believe you. I'd bet anything you would not trade what you have for what I don't have." I wanted to rebut what she just said, but I knew I wouldn't want to have small boobs. As much as I might say mine are too big, I loved them. I also loved Jess'. My mind slipped to thinking about the times I was able to touch Jess' and even kiss them. "Well, you're right in that people think that Christa is beautiful" I told her. "And, she doesn't care what size her boobs are. And, I happen to think they are fantastic." "Well, you should know," shot back Brigid. I really walked into that one. "Real smooth, Susie," said Jess. "So, tell me the truth. The three of you had sex, right? That's what Christa said. She told me she didn't want to be tied down. Like I was in her way or something. She promised we could still be friends, still have sex and all that shit, but what it really meant was that she was interested in screwing two hot girls and dumping good old NT Callahan." Brigid broke down again. I took the drink from her hand before she dumped the remainder on herself. I wanted so badly to pull her to me and hold her, but I was afraid she would push me away. Jess and I exchanged a glance. She made a motion with her eyes that I should go to Brigid. I shrugged and shook my head. She nodded vigorously. Slowly I inched across the couch. Brigid was holding her head in her hands and bawling. I touched her arm. She didn't react. I slid next to her and put my arm around her shoulder. She sagged and bent forward. Pulling on her shoulder, I let her collapse in my lap. Her chest racked with deep cries. I stroked her hair marveling at its silky feel. I pulled it back and tucked it behind her ear. Jess had gone to her bedroom and returned with a box of tissues. I pushed a handful into Brigid's hand. She took them and wiped her eyes and cheeks. I took the soggy tissues and handed her a couple more. She blew her nose and tried to control her tears. I gently stroked her head but said nothing. Jess looked on and I could see her tearing up. Shit, just what I needed, two freaked out girls. I knew if Jess started, I'd join her in bawling. Well, it happened. Jess sobbed. I felt my throat constrict and I felt the tears rolling down my cheek. Within seconds the three of us were sobbing loudly. Brigid seemed to realize what was happening. She sat up and looked at Jess and me. "Why are you guys crying?" I answered, being pretty sure what Jess and I were feeling. "Because we feel like total shits," I said. "We never knew Christa was involved with you. I would never want to hurt another woman like this. I would certainly never, ever want to hurt you." "Why?" I surprised myself with my answer. "Because you are one of the sweetest persons I know." Brigid looked in my eyes searching for the lie. She shook her head and tried to stand. I guess she was not much of a drinker because she plopped back down. "I don't feel so good," she said. "Yeah, how about resting for a bit?" I said softly. "Gotta go," she claimed, but I heard her slur her words. "Honey, you can't go anywhere like this. Jess, can you get the throw?" I moved back down the couch, pulling Brigid with me. I eased her head back into my lap. Jess lifted her legs onto the couch and covered her with the light blanket. "Gotta go," Brigid said weakly. Instinctively I bent and kissed her head. "Stay here, Brigid. We'll take care of you." "But I hate you," she said, although her eyes were closed. "Yeah. That's ok. Just rest." "Ok," she whispered. Then, she was out. I kept stroking her hair and running my hand up and down her arm. I wanted to protect her more than anything else I could think of. "Gonna grab a shower," Jess said quietly. "Take her shoes off," I said. Jess undid the laces and pulled her winter boots from her feet. She tucked the bottom of the throw around them. Jess patted Brigid's leg. "She's a mess," she said. "Yeah, but she needs us right now," I told her. "Don't know, Susie. I think she'd rather stick needles in our eyes." "No, she needs us. She may not know it, but she does. You go on. I'm going to stay here." Jess left and I heard the shower start. Looking down at Brigid's face, I was overcome with a tenderness that was unexpected. The overpowering desire to protect her returned with force. I leaned my head back against the cushions. As I felt sleep creeping in, I shocked myself with the thought that maybe I also wanted something more from this beautiful and delicate flower in my lap. I awoke with a start just as I was dreaming about some hot sex. I couldn't remember the details, just that I was being turned on and wanting to cum. I looked down in my lap. Brigid had turned her head and her hot breath was wafting over my pussy, lightly covered in flannel. Her hand was gripping my thigh as her long, slender fingers nestled less than an inch from the junction of my thighs. I was damp and horribly embarrassed. God, I hoped she couldn't smell my arousal. Jess walked in dressed in jeans, a turtleneck with a yellow fleece vest on top. So simple, yet it made my heart race. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail. She looked at me and noticed where Brigid's fingers were. She eased her glasses down and gave me a look over the rims. With an arch of an eyebrow, she said more than words could ever express. I shrugged and mouthed, "I don't think she knows." Just then Brigid stirred. She moved her hand and now her fingers pressed against my pussy. Still sleeping, she moved her finger up and down. I just discovered a new level of awkward. Grabbing her by the wrist, I tried to ease her hand away. Actually, I was afraid I might scald it with the heat flowing from my crotch. Brigid groaned and opened her eyes. It took a second for her to realize where she was. She looked at her fingers tight against my sex. "Oh, my god," she cried and sat straight up. The movement was too sudden and she put her hand to her mouth. "Jess, she's going to puke. Get the wastebasket." Jess dashed to the kitchen and returned with the green basket. Thank god it had a liner in it. Brigid bent over and threw up. She coughed, heaved some more and tried to catch her breath. I wasn't quick enough to pull her hair away, and there was vomit tangled into her long strands. Hard Choices Ch. 02 She sat back and looked at me. It must have hit her that she had been touching me. Without warning, she hurled again. She tried to cover her mouth, but the liquid squeezed between her fingers and dropped onto her sweatshirt and pants. She bent over and heaved a couple more times. When she settled down, she slowly sat back against the back of the couch. "Just fucking great," she said. "I come over here to do what, well, I'm not sure. Maybe confront you and tell you to back off from Christa. So, what do I do? Get drunk, pass out and puke in your living room. I'm on top of my game." Trying to lighten the mood, Jess said, "Don't forget the part about fingering Susan." I glared at her. Sometimes, Jess didn't know the difference between humor and inappropriate comments. If possible, Brigid turned even paler. I thought she was going to lose it again. "I have to get out of here," she moaned. "Brigid, you are in no condition to drive. I can take you somewhere, but I think you need to clean up. You've got, well, you know, in your hair." "What a total fucking loser I am," she said and teared up once more. "Honey, take a shower. We'll find something to put on and we can wash your clothes. Then you can go. But, don't go out like this. You will hate yourself later." "You mean hate myself more than humiliating myself in front of you two. More than having the person I hate most in the world take care of me. More than, more than, oh, fuck, I just wanna die." "You can die later," said Jess. "First, get cleaned up. Nobody wants a funky corpse." I thought Jess pushed it too far again. Instead Brigid, laughed. "Yeah, why not?" she said. "Where's the bathroom?" Jess held her hand out to help her up. Brigid looked at the vomit on her fingers and shook her head. "Give me a push, Susan?" I leaned so I could get behind her. I tried pushing her back, but got no leverage. I next placed my hands on her butt and shoved. She stood, teetered and followed Jess toward the bathroom. "Brigid, you can figure out the shower," Jess said. "Get undressed and hand your clothes out to me. I'll get you a clean towel." Jess returned in a minute and knocked on the door. Brigid opened it a crack and handed her the jeans and sweatshirt. Jess handed her the towel. "I can do your undies, too." "I ran out of the house so fast this morning, I didn't wear any." Brigid smiled weakly and made the "L" sign on her forehead. "You're not a loser, Brigid. Shit, I hardly ever wear underwear." "Thanks," said Brigid, "Not what I wanted to hear." She closed the door. "What?" Jess asked as she turned to me. "Probably imagined Christa ripping your clothes off to find you commando underneath. Oh, wait, that's what actually happened." Jess wrinkled her nose. She then made up a full load by grabbing a pile of her clothes and some of mine. She headed down to the basement where the building's laundry was. I know I didn't have anything that would fit Brigid. I scrounged around and came across a long-sleeved tee shirt of Jerrod's I had laundered it and shoved it in the back of a dresser drawer. I figured she could fit into a pair of my panties and made sure I picked a clean and modestly cut pair. My bras would not do anything for her except make her feel worse. When I heard the water stop, I knocked. "Brigid, it's me, Susan. I have something for you to wear." She opened the door, holding a towel in front of her. She looked so vulnerable and incredibly sexy. "Shit, you've seen me naked so many times, I don't know why I bother with this stupid towel." She dropped it and stood naked in front of me. "Now, take a look and then you can go to your room and have a good laugh." Her skin was all pink from the hot shower. Long dark strands clung to her head and draped over her shoulders. Her eyes blazed and her mouth was apart a bit. The rest of her body held me in a grip I can't explain. True, I had seen her unclothed many times. Right now, the effect her nakedness has having on me bordered on pure lust. Her breasts were still damp and the nipples extended. A long waist flared a little at her hips to the tops of her firm thighs complemented by long calves. Her dark bush was neatly trimmed and stood in stark contrast to the white skin and pale pink of her pussy. "Jesus, Susan, stop staring. I know what I must look like to you. Just give me those things and go have your chuckle." "Brigid, right now you are one of the most stunning women I have ever seen. I wish you could see how attractive you are." I handed her the tee shirt and panties. "You can wear these until yours are dry. I don't think we have any pants that could fit those amazing legs. I'm going to fix us some food. We all need it." I turned to go when Brigid called me. "For real, you think I'm attractive?" "For real, Brigid. Definitely, for real." I made some grilled cheese sandwiches and grabbed a couple Diet Cokes. The caffeine might be able to help her hangover which would now be settling in. I also put a bottle of Advil on the table. Brigid appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. Jerrod's shirt hung half-way down her thighs. Her hair was still damp and was tussled. "Do you have a brush?" I told her to sit and eat and I would get a brush. When I returned, Brigid was pouring two Advil into her palm. She washed them down with a long drink of Coke. "Eat, Brigid, you need something in your stomach." "Thanks. I didn't have anything since last night." "Ah, then I guess screwdrivers on an empty stomach probably was not a good idea," I said. "I'll brush your hair while you eat." "No. I can do it." "Eat, Brigid. It will make me feel like I'm doing something useful for you." "Why would you want to feel like that?" she asked. "Because I now feel like a total shit." I picked up the brush and began to work on the tangles. It felt like she used some conditioner in the shower, because the brush began to move gently through her hair. I scooped big handfuls of the dark, luscious mane and let it slide through my fingers. I held it and brushed it gently. There is something so sensual about touching a woman's head and letting your fingers work into her hair. Brigid ate one and a half sandwiches and finished her Coke. "Damn it, Susan, this is all wrong." "What?" "I want to hate you so bad," she said. "But, all I can do is like love the feel of your hands. Plus, you've been totally nice to me. I guess I'll have to settle on hating that I can't hate you." As jokes go, it wasn't much. But, I felt relieved that Brigid tried to be funny. "Thanks, Brigid, I would seriously hate it if you hated me, but I think I can deal with the fact that you only hate not hating me. I hate to think I was wrong about that, though." Brigid laughed for the first time. She put one hand on top of mine that was stroking her hair. "Thanks, Susan." I surprised myself by bending and kissing the top of her head. "It's ok, Brigid, it's ok." "Uh, bad timing?" I turned to see Jess standing there with a laundry basket filled with clean clothes. "No, come in," I said. "Brigid was just declaring her lack of total hate for me. But, I bet she could still find some for you, bitch-girl." "Who you calling a bitch, bitch?" "Well, it must be you, 'cause you the onliest bitch standing there." This routine was one of our favorites. The funniest part was having two white girls trying to sound tough and urban. "Hah! I'm standing here 'cause I'm looking at a bitch who don't know nothing about nothing 'cept being a bitch." "Ok, I give, you win." "Damn straight," said Jess and we both cracked up. Even Brigid chuckled at our banter. Jess set the basket down and eyed the half of a grilled cheese sandwich on Brigid's plate. "You going to eat that?" "No, you can have it," Brigid said. "Thanks," said Jess. "I'm so hungry I could eat the crotch out of a skunk." This was one of Jess's many homespun sayings she brought with her from Missouri. "Did you say skank?" asked Brigid. "Figures, bitch." We completely lost it. Jess spit the bite of sandwich into her hands and I bent over double. Brigid laughed so hard snot bubbles were coming out of her nose. When Jess saw that, she howled and pushed her hand between her legs. "God, I'm peeing myself." Jess ran from the room. We heard the bathroom door slam. Brigid and I were trying to get ourselves back into control. I think it was the intense emotional atmosphere of the entire morning that contributed to getting this silly. Brigid looked up at me. "It really pisses me off that I can't hate you. What's even worse, I think I might even like you," she said and smiled. "Brigid, let's go have that talk." I held out my hand and she grabbed it and stood. I looked up into her blue eyes now brimming with uncertainty. Taking a deep breath, I opened my arms. Brigid stood fixed to the floor and stared at me. Slowly, she inched forward. I moved toward her and wrapped my arms around her. My head only came up to her shoulder, but I held her tight. "I'm so sorry you've been hurt, Brigid." She squeezed me back. "Thanks," she whispered. We broke apart and went back into the living room. I carried the laundry basket and set it by the couch. "I can help fold," she said. "Not necessary," I replied. "Really, I want to. It'll give me something to do with my hands other than fidget." I dumped the basket between us on the couch and we started grabbing clothes. Brigid held up a pair of my panties. Unfortunately, it was a red thong with sheer lace covering the crotch. She folded it into a wad that fit entirely in her palm. "Sexy," she said. "Just wear them to church on Sundays," I declared. We smiled and kept folding. She took her jeans and sweatshirt and put them aside. When we finished, we packed the basket and set it aside. "Do you want to talk now?" I asked her. She nodded. I caught a glimpse of Jess crossing from the bathroom to her bedroom. "Do you want to change back into your clothes?" "I'm comfy right now. Let's just talk." "Ok, let me get Jess, because I think this situation really involves all of us." I took the basket and pushed open Jess's door. She was pulling on a clean pair of underpants. I enjoyed seeing her naked butt as she adjusted the underwear. "Can you join us, Jess?" "Are you sure you want me?" "I think we all need to talk with each other." As she pushed her legs into a clean pair of jeans, she said she'd be right out. With the three of us back in our original places, I decided to take the lead. "Brigid, tell us what happened between you and Christa that upset you so much." "I think you guys know what happened," she said. "No, not that. Tell us what happened between you and Christa?" Brigid pulled her legs up and stretched the tee shirt over her knees, covering herself. She hugged her knees and then looked back and forth from Jess to me. "Last night Christa said that she didn't want to date exclusively any more. She wanted to be free to see other people." I recalled our conversations with Christa. She seemed open about wanting to date men and women. I wondered if Brigid knew about that. "So, you and Christa never discussed if it would be all right to date other people?" Brigid looked away, not able to hold my eyes. "Well, she mentioned that she was like bi and still might want to see a guy now and then." "That was ok with you?" asked Jess. "I didn't care too much. She promised that if she had sex with a guy that she'd use protection. So, yeah, it was ok." I didn't believe her. Her body language, voice and even the words she use led me to think that it did bother her that Christa dated men. And, I think it bothered her a lot. "Did you ever date a guy?" I asked. "No. Never." "Christa is your first girlfriend?" asked Jess. "Yes." "I take it you fell in love with Christa," I said. The tears were back in the corner of her eyes. She could only nod in reply. "Brigid, honey, I don't want to make you feel bad, but I have to ask. You really didn't mind having the woman you love, the only woman you ever loved, have sex with a guy?" Brigid reached for the tissues and wiped at her eyes and cheeks. Her face was blotchy and her breath became ragged once again. "Maybe, a little," she said in a voice so soft I could barely hear her. "Did you tell her it bothered you?" I asked. "No," she said quickly. "I was afraid...I was afraid she would leave me if I made her think I wasn't ok with it. I didn't want to lose her. Christa's like my only friend. If I didn't have her, I would be like totally alone. Well, I guess I should say that you, Susan, were always so nice to me. I felt like you cared about me and thought maybe we could have been friends. That's kinda ironic now." I nodded and began to see a little deeper into Brigid and her insecurities. I was overcome once more with this urge to protect her, to shield her from the hurt she's experiencing. Hearing that Brigid liked me and maybe we could have developed a nice relationship caught me by surprise. "Brigid, do you consider yourself gay?" "Well, I have sex with Christa," she offered as an answer. "No, tell me, Brigid. Do you consider yourself gay?" "Yes. I'm gay. I never even thought about what I was before. But, now I'm pretty sure I'm gay." "Never wanted to see what sex would be like with a man?" prodded Jess. "No, never. I just want Christa." "Christa or a woman?" I asked. "Christa," she said. "Mostly, I guess. I mean I don't know about another woman." "Have you ever been attracted to another woman," Jess asked. Brigid shot a glance at me and then looked back at her toes sticking out under the long tee shirt. I felt like I'd been hit with a rock. Did she just give away that she was attracted to me? I wanted to dig deeper and make her tell me what that look she gave me meant. But, I could see her shrinking back inside her shell. Maybe, she felt she gave herself away. Maybe Jess and I were asking too many questions and putting her on the defensive. I decided to try another approach. "Tell us about your first date with Christa." I could see her relax as she felt she was getting back on safer ground. "After she and I started hanging out together, we discovered it was so much fun. Pretty soon like all our free time we spent with each other. We'd go get something to eat or to a movie, stuff like that. One night after we saw some chick flic, we were walking back to my dorm. We were cutting through that tunnel-like alley that goes between the Common and the dorms. There was no one there and Christa pulled me to a stop. She smiled and then kissed me. "I thought I'd melt. Christa was kissing me. Her lips felt so soft and so good. I didn't know what to do. She asked me if I liked it. I could only nod. She asked me if I wanted her to kiss me again. I smiled. This time she pulled me close and kissed me. Wow, I think I must have had my first orgasm. My knees bent and I felt warm all over. It was beautiful." Brigid was smiling at this recollection. She licked her lips as she must have remembered the sensation. "We like made out right there in that tunnel. God, I couldn't get enough of her kisses. I felt so, so good." "Was it just the kissing or that it was Christa?" Jess asked her. "God, right then I didn't know. I mean it felt so good, but in my mind I'm like screaming 'I'm making out with freaking Christa'. It was unreal. Anyway, I'd never kissed another girl like this, so I guess I can't say how it would feel." "What happened next?" I asked. Brigid told us that Christa led her back to her sorority, holding her hand the entire way. They went into Christa's room and kissed some more. She said that Christa told her she wanted to make love. Brigid laughed as she told us she wanted to do it but had no clue as to what that meant. Soon they had undressed each other. Brigid admitted that she was reluctant to remove her bra, but Christa insisted. "When I took my bra off, I immediately covered my boobs with my hands," Brigid explained. "Christa kissed me and took my hands. She pulled them away telling me she wanted to see me. I closed my eyes and was afraid she would make me leave after seeing my chest. When I opened them, I saw Christa staring at my boobs. The look on her face was something I'll never forget. She was staring with desire. She asked if she could kiss them. Of course I said yes. That was the most exquisite feeling I've ever had when her lips touched my boobs for the first time. I think it was at that moment that I knew I was in love." I reached out and grabbed her big toe and squeezed. Jess rose and went to her. She kissed her cheek and stroked her arm. Brigid smiled at us. Jess sat on the floor next to Brigid on the couch and I moved close enough so that her toes now rested underneath my thigh. Without speaking to each other, Jess and I wanted to let Brigid know we cared for her. Without going into explicit detail, Brigid explained that she made love for the first time in her life. As she and Christa lay together, Brigid couldn't stop smiling. If what she had when Christa first kissed her was an orgasm, what she experienced as Christa made love to her entire body was beyond words. Brigid retold the story as if it were a fairy tale, and she was the one who snared the prince. "How long ago was this," I asked her. "Just toward the end of my first semester, so not quite a year." "And the two of you have been together since?" asked Jess. "Yes." I didn't doubt that Brigid fell in love with Christa. Since it was her first love, her first sexual experience, her feelings were more powerful because she gave her virginity to Christa. This relationship with Christa also served to allow Brigid to recognize her own sexuality and to recognize that she was gay. I could understand why she now felt so abandoned and why she needed to blame someone for taking Christa away. Funny, I felt a pang of envy that Christa was the first person to bring this beautiful girl to bloom. "Brigid, before you and Christa became lovers, were you attracted to women?" I asked. Brigid pushed her toes farther under my thighs. She kept her head down and spoke. "I guess I never thought about sex too much. I was busy with getting used to college, classes and playing ball. Plus, I could always hear my parents' voice in my head telling me to be a good girl, be moral, save myself for marriage, all that stuff. When Christa and I started hanging out together, I really just loved being with her." "You didn't fantasize about having sex with her?" asked Jess. "Guys, listen. I never had sex. I didn't have a freaking clue what sex was or what it felt like. I just knew that I really liked being with Christa. When she kissed me, it was like my world turned upside down." "Well, did you think about Christa when you masturbated?" asked Jess. Brigid's head shot up. Her eyes met mine and I could see the fear. "Brigid," I said, "You do masturbate, don't you?" Slowly, she shook her head no. "So before you and Christa...you never gave yourself an orgasm?" Another shake of her head. "Wow," I said. "No wonder your first time was so powerful. And, yes, Brigid, Jess and I know what it's like to have sex with Christa. So, let's talk about that." Surprisingly, Brigid did not start crying again. She also kept her feet firmly attached to my thigh. She must be getting some reassurance from this physical contact. I explained how Jess knew Christa from class. I told her the story of how my recently dumped boyfriend had behaved in the locker room. "He really has a big you-know-what?" asked Brigid. "Cock," I said. "Yes, he has a huge cock. And, he was being totally disgusting with Christa when she tried to interview him. After we found out from Jerrod who the woman reporter was, Jess spoke to her in class. Christa invited us to a party at her sorority. That was like three weeks ago. How come you weren't there?" Hard Choices Ch. 02 "We had a road tournament and stayed overnight 'cause we also played on Sunday." "Well, we all had a blast that night." I said. I described how I found out that Jerrod was cheating on me and that I called him out in front of everyone at the party. When I described how the little cheerleader seemed to be having trouble walking after having anal sex with Jerrod, Brigid's eyes widened. Jess piped in that I almost got beaten to a pulp and had to be saved by a couple other football players. Brigid listened with her mouth hanging open. "You mean people really do that? Have sex in the back?" "Yep," I said. "Jesus, I never even imagined something like that," she said. "Sounds disgusting." "Not as disgusting as you might think," said Jess. "Girls do it with each other, too." Brigid's head shot around to look at Jess. "No way. Now, you're messing with me. Besides girls don't have a thing." "No, but girls have fingers and tongues," said Jess with a grin. "And, there is always a strap-on." At this last statement, Brigid turned pale and rested her head on her knees. "God, there is so much I don't know. You guys must think I'm an idiot." I touched her cheek. "Brigid, we don't think that. All of us have to learn. It's no shame that there are still things that you need to discover." "I'm nineteen," she said. "I think maybe I should know more than I obviously do." "Not a big deal, believe me," I said. "Ok, but be honest with me," she said. "Girls really use their tongues on other girl's backsides?" "Sure do," said Jess. "I guess I have to believe you," said Brigid. "I just hope you aren't punking me and then I mention it and everyone laughs at me. Who am I kidding? I'll never be able to talk about sex like that with anyone." "You might someday," I said and patted her knee. Brigid smiled and put her hand on top of mine and squeezed it. "Tell me about the three of you," she said. "Brigid, I am not going to discuss what happened in any detail. You could ask Christa for that. Let me say that we all found each other attractive. Christa came over for dinner and, well, one thing led to another. Jess and I were really, really horny. We did have sex with each other." "Like you and Jess, too?" "Not all the way," said Jess. "Susie and I are still kinda working out the friend versus lover thing. We kissed and touched each other, but we didn't go all the way." "But both of you went like all the way with Christa?" Jess and I shared a look. "Yes," I answered. "But, honest, Brigid, we did not know about you." "Christa never mentioned me?" "No," I said. "Oh, wait, when I told her I was the trainer for your team, she asked if I knew you. I said I did and that you were really good and really pretty." "Bullshit! You told her you thought I was pretty?" "Yes. It's true," I said. Brigid just shook her head. "What did Christa say?" "She definitely agreed with me." "But, she didn't say I was her girlfriend?" "No." Brigid sat and thought about what Jess and I had said. She must be trying to rearrange the bits and pieces of her life and love into a new framework. She came here hating us and wanting to blame us for what she saw as taking Christa from her. Now, she understood that relationships are complex things. "Brigid, can I ask you something. You don't have to answer, but it may help you sort out some things." I looked at her and waited for her answer. "Ok. What do you want to know?" "Can you tell me exactly what Christa said to you about your relationship?" "I told you already. She wants to dump me." "Tell me exactly what she said." "Whatever. It doesn't make any difference. She wants you guys and not me." "See, Brigid, I know that's not true," I said. "We all had great sex, but we also knew it was just sex. We weren't starting a new relationship. So, try to remember the words she used. Tell me exactly what she said." "Uh, well, we were like sitting in her room. We hang out there a lot 'cause I have a roommate and we can't, you know, get sexy with each other if my roommate is around. So, we were in her room. I wanted to like cuddle and stuff, but she was all 'let's talk' and shit." I nodded and rubbed her leg still covered by the long tee shirt. "So, she tells me that it's like all over between us and..." "Brigid, use her words," I said with more force than before. "Well, let's see. She said she loved me. Right!" "Brigid, Christa said she loved you? So, accept that for now," I encouraged her. "Anyway, then she said that I made her happy." "Those were her words?" "Yeah, she said that the time with me was the happiest of her life. Of course, I was feeling great and didn't see the freaking truck coming down the highway. Then she says I wasn't enough for her. I guess she meant I was a lousy lay or she just couldn't stand my boobs any more." "Goddamn it, Brigid," I screamed. "Let's get something clear. You have great boobs. Ok, they are not huge, but they are beautiful. I love them. I get turned on looking at them. So, stop the poor little me and my boobs shit." Both Brigid and Jess looked at me with their mouths open. Jess said, "Turned on?" I blushed, giggled and nodded. "Ok, moving on, I want you to tell me what Christa said, not what you think she meant. Did she really say you were not enough for her or that you were a lousy lay?" I think I scared Brigid with my outburst and she answered my question directly. "Christa said that she felt that each of us was kinda young and that we need to experience other things. She said she really loved when we were together and that I made her feel good." "So how does that translate into you thinking she thought you were a lousy lay?" "Well, I figured she was just saying that so she wouldn't hurt my feelings." "Brigid, she said that because it's true. She knew she was going to hurt your feelings by talking about experiencing other things. If she wanted to spare your feelings, she wouldn't have talked to you at all." "I never thought about it that way," Brigid said. "Ok, go on," I urged her. "Well, she reminded me that she did like to sleep with a guy once in a while. She also said maybe she might want to be with a different woman, too. She said I should think about that, as well." "What did you think about that?" Jess asked. "I thought it was her way of saying bye-bye. So, I asked her if she had been with another woman. She didn't want to answer, but I really pushed her. She admitted about having sex with you guys. That flipped me out." "Why? Was it that she slept with someone else or was it who she slept with?" Jess asked. "Uh, I don't know." "I think you do, Brigid," Jess said. "I think you were hurt because she did have sex with someone else. I think you were even more hurt because one of those people was Susan." "What! That's bullshit," she said. "What's bullshit," said Jess, "is that you are attracted to Susan and are afraid to admit it." Brigid could not look at me. Her face was once again red and she buried her head in her hands resting on top of her knees. I was shocked at what Jess just said. I looked at my roommate and she smiled. "God, a person would have to be blind not to see the heat between the two of you. I mean it's clear as day." Brigid raised her head enough to let one eye focus on me. "Is that true, Brigid?" I asked. "This is so fucked," she said. "I gotta go." "You are not going anywhere until you answer me," I said. "Are you attracted to me?" The agony in her face touched me. "Listen, just so you know, I am attracted to you" I told her. Her head sprung up. Blue eyes shone through her tears. She cracked a faint smile. "Honest?" "Yeah, honest. I think you are so sweet and so pretty. And, so freaking hot it's killing me." "So that's why you came over today, isn't it?" said Jess. "You were pissed that Christa slept with other women, but you were also freaked out that one of them was Susie. I think you love Christa, for sure. I also think you have a serious crush on Susie. You wanted to come here and drive Susie away from Christa so that it would take the temptation from you. If you had Christa back, she wouldn't be with Susie, whom you were falling in love with. Jesus, just saying all that even has me confused. It's like some demented soap opera." "But, you love Susan," said Brigid. "I do. I love her more than anyone I know. But, you know what, ever since that night with Christa, I think I've come to understand that my love for Susie is not based on sex. Not that she isn't insanely sexy, it's just that I want more from her than a good screw. I want, no, I need her as my best friend." "This is all insane," said Brigid. "I came over here to tell you guys to keep away from Christa. I had myself convinced I hated both of you. Now, I'm being taken care of by the two of you. I feel like I'm with my best friends. This is not working out the way I wanted." "Maybe it's not working out the way you planned," said Jess. "But, maybe it may be working out the way you wanted." "What? You're saying I came over here to like hook-up with Susan?" "I'm saying, Brigid, that you are confused. I'm saying that you're trying to resolve a pretty deep conflict. I would bet everything on you thinking that you might like to see where a relationship with Susan might go." "You're crazy. You know that?" Brigid couldn't remain still and her motions became spastic. Normally she possessed a grace of motion, but now she was flailing all over. "I think we need to have Christa join us," said Jess. "No way," screamed Brigid. "She doesn't know I'm here." "She's going to find out," Jess said. "No, she isn't. I'm not going to tell her." "I am," said Jess. "I'll be right back." "Please don't call her," Brigid said. "Right now, Brigid, this whole thing goes beyond just you and Christa. All of us are involved and I want all of us talking with each other. I'll be up front with you. I am interested in seeing what could develop between Christa and me." Jess looked at me seeking my reaction. "So, you are giving up on men?" I asked. "What's to give up," she said. "I haven't had a date in ages. The best sex I ever had was with a woman. My biggest worry is that I can't hold on to you as my friend, if I'm involved exclusively with women." Brigid snorted, "Women! I think you mean one woman. My girlfriend." "Brigid, that's why all of us need to be together to talk," Jess said. "I am totally confused about everything right now." "Jess, I love you. Gay, straight, bi, doesn't make any difference," I said and hugged her. "But, I sorta felt you liked Christa, too," Jess said. "I like Christa a lot," I said. Brigid's face fell. "No, Brigid, I didn't mean I want to be her girlfriend. I meant I like her. She's fun to be with. I am not planning to hook up with her again, but I would like to be able to do things with her—and with you, and with Jess. Shit, Jess, you're right, this is making my mind run in circles. See if Christa can come over." Jess went to her bedroom to make the call. I saw the distress on Brigid's face. "She's right. We need to talk about this," I said. "She's going to totally hate me. God, she will never talk to me again." "Brigid, give her some credit. She's smart and sensitive. I think she knew something like this would happen once she told you what occurred with the three of us. She had to know that once she told you about us that things were not going to stay the same with any of us." Brigid started pacing around the room. Her long legs extending below the hem of the tee shirt were distracting me. "Brigid, why don't you get dressed?" She looked down and seemed to suddenly realize what she was wearing. Picking up her jeans and sweatshirt, she went into the bathroom. While she was there, Jess returned. "So?" "She's on her way," Jess informed me. "Did she seem surprised?" "No," Jess said. "I think she was relieved. I got the feeling she didn't want to have to deal with all this by herself." I laughed. "Whatever all this is." "Susie, I'm sorry the way everything sorta just came out. I wanted to be able to talk with you about my feelings for Christa." "It's ok, Jess. I mean the sex with her was...well, it was the best. I've fantasized about it. Would I want that kind of sex again? Oh yeah! But, honestly, I never thought of having a relationship, you know girlfriend type of thing, with her. If you think there might be something between the two of you, go for it. You'll always be my best friend." Jess pulled me to her. "I love you so much, Susie. You are the best." "Love you, too." We kissed and held each other tightly. Jess spoke into my ear. "So, you and Brigid?" "God, I'm so fucked up right now, I can't give you an answer. But, keep this as a secret, I think she's been in my dreams." "No way!" I stepped back and looked Jess in the eyes. "Yeah, I kept getting these fleeting images of someone with black hair, but could never bring her into focus. Seeing her today, I think it was Brigid in my dreams." "Too freaking weird," she said. "All of that, Jess, all of that." "We're gonna need something to eat," Jess said. "I have a feeling it could take a while and I don't want a repeat of this morning. I'm going to run down to the store and pick up a couple things." "When will Christa get here? I don't want it to be just Brigid and me when she comes." "Hey, as long as you too don't have your tongues down each other's throats, it should be ok." "You're gross," I said and slapped her bottom. "Tell me you don't want to smother that cute face with a thousand kisses," she said. "Just go to the store and hurry back. Get a couple of their pasta salads and some French bread. I'll dig out some wine." When Brigid came in after changing, I filled her in on what was about to happen. She started to have another panic attach. I made her sit on the couch. "Brigid, we have to talk about this at some point. Let's do it now and get it over with. I think it will work out with all of us being together." "But, what's going to happen?" "I have no clue," I said, "but let's just talk." "Was all what you said about me true?" "That I think you are attractive and sexy?" She nodded, and then added, "And I sorta turn you on." I laughed and her face fell. "No, Brigid, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing because you more than 'sorta' turn me on." I felt like she was going to say something, when the door opened. Jess walked in carrying two bags. "Guess who I ran into," she said. Christa appeared in the doorway. "Hi, guys," she said. To be continued...