2 comments/ 1775 views/ 1 favorites GLAHC Ch. 02: Santa Muerte By: amadan_dubh God Loves All His Children: Santa Muerte The air-conditioner hummed in Dr Cynthia Parnell's office. Turned up all the way, it made an overbearing noise. From the window, certain shops and businesses could be seen. In their windows, carved pumpkins grinned at the sweating passers-by. To open a window would be to let hot air in. Dr Parnell checked the electric clock on her desk. 13:58, it read. Rising, she went to her door. She opened it just as her next patient was about to knock. Danielle Harris blinked in surprise. Her hand, raised to knock, instead scratched her wavy, sandy hair. Her posture and stance betrayed her military discipline. "Danielle. It's nice to see you," Dr Parnell said up to Dani, meaning it. "Hi Cynthia. Nice to see you too." Dani lowered her arm. "Would you like to come in? We'll begin when you're ready." "Sure. That's cool." Dani entered the office and seemed to shiver. "It's hot out, isn't it?" ventured Dr Parnell. "Yeah it is. Weird too, all the Hallowe'en stuff up and all. It's like summer doesn't wanna end." "No kidding. Whoever's in charge of that whole affair should probably be fired." "Ah, no-one gets fired in Heaven. They just kind of pat eachother on the head when something goes wrong and pretend like it never happened." "Are you implying Heaven is run like a day care for handicapped children?" "It would explain a lot." Dr Parnell chuckled. Dani grinned. "I can turn down the A/C if you'd prefer," the therapist offered. "No need. Hell, it's a load off. I walked here." Dani replied. She sat in the patient's chair, before the desk. "You walked in this heat? What was that like?" "Not very fun." "Hm. Well, I suppose it's better than being stuck in a car. You really don't mind the fans?" "Not at all." "Well, as long as you're comfortable." Dr Parnell eased her bulk into her chair, across from Dani. Desk between them, the session began. "How have you been feeling?" the therapist said. "Good. Good enough." Dani shifted in her seat. Getting comfortable. "Just good enough?" "Yeah. Things are rough sometimes, but nothing terrible. Nothing I can't handle." "Well, you're nothing if not tough, Danielle." Dani smiled. She took it as a compliment. Her left bicep flexed involuntarily. Dr Parnell went on. "So your circumstances are still difficult sometimes. Like, your landlord, for example? I remember you had quite a bit of difficulty concerning him." "Yeah, he made a lot of noise. Eventually I figured he was all bark and no bite. You know how it is. "Barking dogs seldom bite." I been to learning to let things go a lot more." "Yes, I remember you had some trouble with that early on. How are you now with it? Have you been keeping up with the relaxation techniques I suggested?" "I have, yeah. I also tried out those online yoga tutorials on YouTube. I didn't think much of them, but they really do work." "So you feel you've calmed down?" Dani scratched the back of her neck. Just at the hairline. "Well - I can't pretend I don't get angry. I do, still. A lot. I get angry in work a lot, with customers and my manager. Shi – uh, stuff like that. And sometimes, I feel like – I feel like it's gonna spill over." "Do you have an example in mind?" "Yeah. I was on the bus, right? This was, I don't know, two weeks ago? Anyway I'm sitting on the bus and in the other row is this – this, Muslim girl. Girl, woman, I don't know, I don't how old she was. Anyway, she's sitting across from me and she's just on her phone. Not doing anything, not looking up or saying anything. But I knew she was Muslim because she was wearing the hijab thing. "I remember thinking how nice this hijab is, like I could describe it to you right now. It was this kinda goldy-orange colour with these beautiful henna-type designs on it. Fabric was all glossy. I don't know what it was made of but I bet it felt so silky. And I'm staring at this hijab, staring at this girl. And at some point I realise she's looking back at me. Only not really looking, just sort of glancing at me. Casting these nervous glance my way, right? "I start thinking what her problem is, then I blink or we go over a bump or something and I realise I'm the one glaring at her. Like, glaring. All frown and evil eyes. So I jump up and turn away but the damage is done. Poor girl must've scared for her life. I wanted to say sorry, you know, but what would I have said. And anyway, she got off after like, five minutes. But the worst of it, I spent the next, like, fifteen minutes thinking of ways to neutralise her. You know, if she really did turn out to be a – a threat. I had like six entire plans ready to go before I figured what I was doing." Dr Parnell thumbed a pen. "You believe your combat experience makes you a danger to others?" "Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. I don't like hurting people. But I know that sometimes it's necessary. I don't like assessing the threat level of everyone I meet. But I don't wanna let up. Just in case I'm right and I do need to act." "Hm." The therapist thought a moment about what she would say next. Her thick fingers laced together. Contemplating breaths raised her large bosom up and down. "Danielle, I'm sure you've heard this already, but these sessions are all about helping you to re-integrate with society. You've been repatriated for eleven months?" "Eleven months and sixteen days." "And before that you experienced things that might break someone without the training you received. And while some of these experiences may have had a negative effect on your psychology, it'll do no good to beat yourself up over it. It's natural for you to get angry. It's natural for you to retain your training in everyday life. They're simply a part of who you are. The relaxation techniques I taught you are designed to help manage these potentially harmful impulses. Bring them under control, so to speak. The fact that you've taken measures yourself is also a great sign." "The yoga stuff? That's just stretches and weird music." "It's not so much the measure itself, but the fact that you, personally, set out to find a way to control yourself. It might not be possible to slay your demons. But I believe it is possible to tame them. So that you can learn to live with them." Dani scratched her hair. It was soft and wavy, and made no sound. "You really think so?" Dr Parnell adjusted her spectacles. "I do, yes. Your progress, in these past few months, have certainly helped prove me right so far." Dani seemed to blush and looked away. Her hand still scratched at her hair. "Incidentally," chirped Dr Parnell, "what's my threat level?" "Yours?" Dani said, taken aback. She considered it. "Hmm, I'd say, about, 2 or 3. Outta 10." "2 or 3?" "Maybe 4. But only if you had a weapon. Like a knife or something. And anyone with a gun is at least a 6, anyway." Dr Parnell sat in mock contemplation. Meaty fingers interlaced again, in front of her mouth. "I'm sure how I should feel about that" she said after a moment. She laughed, pretence broken. Dani grinned. "Well then" the therapist exhaled, "is there anything else you'd like to talk about? Anything else I can help you with? "Uhm, yeah," said Dani. She didn't say anything else. Dr Parnell looked to the side and back again. "Would you, like to tell me about it?" "Uh-um, yeah," blustered Dani. Was she blushing? She was. "Just, um, just lest let me... Yeah, so there's this – uh, I wanted to ask something relationship, related. Sorry, this is probably outside your paycheque." "Don't worry about that. Whatever I can do to help." "You sure?" Dr Parnell smiled patiently. "I'm sure." "Okay, if you're sure then – if you're sure, then okay. So I – recently – got a girlfriend." "Oh, congratulations. How long have you been dating?" "Uh, two – two and a half months now. It doesn't feel like such a long time, but – is it cool if I don't tell you her name?" "Of course." "Okay, great. So, I mean, things have been good. She's – she's actually from the squad, you know, so we got that in common. And we were friends even before – uh, before we got together. Like, already close, so – well anyway, things have been going well. Great actually. We, like go on dates, do couple stuff. But... I mean, we don't always have a lot of free time, 'cause I'm working at the hardware store and she has her job, but whatever free time we have is usually spent together. And that's great, so..." Dani stopped talking. Stuck on a word, she couldn't unstuck. So she sunk into her seat and thought. Looked around the clean office. Nothing inspired her. Nothing told her what she wanted to say. She looked over at Dr Parnell. Patient, giving her time. To think about what she had to say. "Damn," Dani said at last. "I'll just be straight with you, okay?" "Say you know someone a long time. Say you've been through a lot with them, ups and down, good and bad. You stick with them, and they stick with you. After a while you think you know them. Well enough. But then something big happens. Something bad. It changes things Changes them. And they might act the same, talk the same way, but you know something's different. Something's not – right. Even if they're your best friend. Even if you love them. You still know something's not right." Dani took another breath. "The question I'm asking is: what do you do if someone you love starts to scare you?" Seconds ticked by in silence. The A/C hummed. The sound permeated every corner of the room. Like it wanted to be heard. To be acknowledged. "Scare you?" Dr Parnell said. "Do you believe you're in danger? If that's the case, then –" "No! No, no danger, just..." Dani bit her lip. "Have you ever seen that David Lynch movie Lost Highway? Bill Pullman's in it." "I think I've seen bits and pieces." "Right, well, there's this scene where Bill Pullman's at a party or something. There's music, lotsa people around talking and laughing. You know, the last place you'd think anything bad or weird might happen. Then this guy walks in and there's this moment where his and Bill's eyes meet. This guy, he's all pale, blue-lipped. No eyebrows, slicked back, wearing all black. He's just the definition of creepy. And of course we never learn who he is, what his name is. So this guy walks over and things get all Lynchian and weird. "But the point is as soon as the guy appears the world freezes. Music stops, no-one's talking or laughing anymore. It's like time's frozen and Bill and this guy are in their own little world. The Creepy Guy has a voice like – like a nightmare. He's like something out of a nightmare. But as soon as he leaves, the music starts up again, people are making noise again. Like none of it ever happened." "And you have experienced moments similar to this with your partner?" "Yeah. Sometimes she says things, or does things that – don't make sense. Then she kinda blinks and comes back to herself. Pretends like everything's normal." Dani sniffed. "Like me on the bus with the hijab girl, I guess. Ah, forget it. Maybe it's hypocritical, maybe... I don't know." "Danielle." A concerned voice. Dani looked over at her therapist. "It seems to me that this is bothering you a lot. I understand if you'd rather not talk about it, but I also insist you get it off your chest. If not to me, then to someone. Anyone you trust." Dani sighed. She was quiet. "I trust you," she told Dr Parnell, and readied herself. "Three weeks ago, we were in my apartment. We were cooking, I was chopping vegetables. And you know, clumsy me, I end up cutting my finger. It's not bad, but there's a lot of blood. It gets all over the tomatoes and everything. I must've made a noise or something because Le – uh, my girlfriend turns and asks if I'm alright. So I laugh and say sorry, I ruined the veggies, but then – then I see her and I stop. She has this look, like – like a nightmare. At this point, my hand's all bloody and she – she reaches and grabs my hand and just – stares at it. Stares at the blood. My blood, and – she doesn't say anything. She's holding my hand hard, and I remember thinking: "she's trying to make it run more." Trying to make me bleed even more. "Then she –" Dani stopped. Raised her fist to her lips. Lowered it, and went on. "Then she comes closer and raises my hand and she – damn. She licked my hand. Just touched it with her tongue. And on the end of her tongue was this little bead of blood and goes back in her mouth. And she mutters under her breath "Metal." She was tasting it, understand? Blood tastes like metal. I don't know – I'm not scared at this point, just confused. I don't know what to do. I say her name and it's like a spell was broken. She blinks and kinda looks around. Like she'd forgotten where she was. Then she asks if I'm okay again and everything's back to normal. I tell her I'm fine, but she goes and gets me a Band-Aid anyway. We finish cooking, and then she was quiet for the rest of the night. I really –" Dani sighed again. There was much in it. "I really wanted to say something. Ask. But I didn't know what I'd say. I was – I was scared of what would happen if did. Like what if she got mad? What if she – what if she got all scary again? But I think it would be even worse if she got confused. Like she had no idea what I meant." The story ended. No-one spoke for a while. The seconds that ticked by seemed like an eternity. Dr Parnell thought hard. Processing the information. Eyes narrowed. Brow furrowed. Fingers lacing together, coming undone, interlacing again. She thought for a long time. "Have there been any other incidents like the one you've described?" she said at last. Dani answered "No. Nothing as bad." "Danielle, I – "faltered Dr Parnell, "I – I'm not sure what I can tell you." Turning to the side, she though some more. Frowning. Formulating an answer. "Danielle, can I ask a personal question?" "A pers... why, what is it?" "I want to make sure of something. Just to know what I can do for you." Dani frowned herself. "Okay. What's the question?" "Are you in love with this person? The one you've described to me." Dani's brows raised a centimetre. Without hesitating, she said "Yes." "You didn't think about that very long." "I don't need to." Dr Parnell sighed through her nose. "Well, that's something." She was quiet again, but only for a moment. "I want you to understand Danielle, in any other circumstance when a partner or spouse displays abusive or potentially harmful behaviour, I'd suggest you immediately go to the police. But this is different. It doesn't sound like your partner is intent on harming you. But there are things she's keeping from you. Sides of herself she isn't showing. That much is clear. And what else is clear is that for a relationship to survive, communication is vital. It's not good to keep secrets from people that you love. "The only advice I can give you in good conscience is to communicate. Talk to your partner. It doesn't have to be today, or tomorrow, but the only way you can put your concerns to rest is if you confront them head-on. At least, that's the approach that's always suited you, right?" "Right," Dani said. Dr Parnell looked at her clock. 14: 52. "Our time's almost up. I hope I've been of help to you." "You have," Dani assured. "You really have. Thanks Cynthia." "Any time," Dr Parnell said. "Oh, one more thing," she said just before Dani left. "Have you told your partner you love her yet?" Dani blinked and blushed. A bashful grin played on her lips. "I – I haven't found a good time." Dr Parnell's smile was kind. "You should probably let her know soon." Dani said thank you again, and goodbye. Dr Parnell watched her walk from the building from her window. She checked her clock again. 14:56. Time enough. She knelt. Opened her filing cabinet. Hunted for the file. M. Finding it, she produced it from the cabinet. Opened it. Skimmed it over. The contents were similar to Dani's. Only far less encouraging. Dr Parnell read the name at the top of the first page. Said it aloud. "Leah Morales." The therapist closed the file and looked out her window. Dani could no longer be seen. Dr Parnell's frown was one of concern. *** Dani stuck her keys in the lock and turned the handle. The door didn't move. Was it stuck again? Shoulder against the wood, she pushed with her weight. Still it wouldn't move. She stepped back, scratched the back of her neck. Then blinked in realisation. Taking her keys again, she stuck it back in the lock. Turned it, and heard the sound of the lock coming undone. She entered the apartment with a self-deprecating sniff. A woman with brown skin and prosthetic legs was sitting on the dilapidated sofa. "Oh you're here," Dani said. "I thought I left the door unlocked." "You did," Leah answered, head upside down on the sofa backboard to see her. "I got here maybe twenty minutes ago. Went through about the same routine you did just now." "...Damn." Dani couldn't think of anything more to say. She sat down beside her girlfriend. "You eat yet?" Leah asked. "Hm? Mm. Yeah. Had something on the way over. What about you?" "Same. How was your day?" "It was okay. Got off work early to go to my appointment." "Oh yeah? How was that? – Dan? How was your appointment?" "What? Oh – right. It was okay. Nothing special." Leah frowned a little. "Hey – you okay?" "Huh?" "You're kinda out of it, unfocussed. You got something on your mind?" "I – when don't I have things on my mind?" "Leave the smartass bit to me, chica. Did something happen? Something with your shrink? What's her name again? Prendell?" "Parnell, and no, nothing happened with Cynthia." "Cynthia? Since when are you on first name basis with your shrink?" "Since a while ago, and stop calling her a shrink. She's a therapist, and she's a good one. Why are you so concerned about it? You jealous?" "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." Dani raised her eyebrows in a placating smile. "Ley, you don't have to be jealous of Cynthia. She's cool and all, but she's just my doctor." Leah crossed her arms. Her voice rasped with mock outrage. "You've always had a thing for her. It's the boobs, I know it is. Those damn tig ol' bitties swinging from her chest." Pantomiming, she grabbed her own breasts in both hands. "I can't help it if I was made small!" Laughing, Dani said: "Well, big boobs aren't that big a deal. Some people like them small, I guess." "Some people?!" Leah glared at her girlfriend through one narrowed eye. "And what about you, eh? You think having big boobs makes you better than me? I could have big tits if I wanted to! I could have all the tits in the world!" With that, Leah made moves to pounce on Dani. The motion was pantomimed and clearly in jest, but Dani still reacted. She shot up from her seat. One hand at the backboard. The other raised in front of her, fingers splayed. An involuntary bellow. "No!" Leah froze in place. Silence screeched. "W – Whoa," Leah stuttered in surprise. "What was that about?" "N – Nothing, nothing." Dani stuttered herself. "It's just – just – it's nothing." She looked away, out a window. It was already night. How dark it had gotten so soon. The silence wailed on. Leah stood up straight and sighed through her nose. "Sorry," she said. "I always do go that one step too far, huh?" Dani sighed, and fell back into her seat. "No, I'm sorry. It's not your fault, it's – you're right. There is something on my mind, but – I can't – explain it right now. I don't – you know how I'm bad with explaining shit. I will say, I promise. Just not now. Just – could you just sit with me here?" She looked up at Leah with endearing eyes. Leah said nothing and sat down beside her girlfriend. Cosying up to her. Resting her head on her shoulder. Dani placed her arms round her. They sat there for a while. GLAHC Ch. 02: Santa Muerte "Hey, Leah?" "Mm?" "You know how it gets dark really quick in the winter times?" "Sure. What about it?" "Isn't it weird how it's always a surprise? Like, even though it happens every year, you still get surprised when it turns to night at, like, 4 o'clock. Isn't that strange? Don't you think we should have gotten used to that by now?" Leah shifted to look at Dani. Dani met her gaze. "Is that part of what's worrying you?" "No. Not really. I just thought it was weird. Like, even though it was so hot today, night still came on time." "Hm. I guess I never thought about it. But it reminds me of this article I read once. Some psychology thing, I don't know. But one thing stuck with me, and it went like: 'the memory of bodies is much longer than that of minds.' I guess, in this case, even if you know in your head that it gets dark real fast in winter, your body still reacts like it should panic." "Bodies have long memories..." Dani was quiet for a moment, gestating the idea. She looked to the window outside. The streetlights were being turned on. Dirty orange light from outside was held at bay by the apartment's yellow light. Bodies had long memories. Dani turned her gaze downward. To her lover's legs. The prosthetics attached themselves to the stumps with straps around cream-coloured plastic sheathes. They were old wounds. Old wounds that Dani still blamed herself for. Even though she knew it wasn't her fault, her gut knew something different. Her body's memory was long. And it was far more convincing than her head could ever be. "Hey Leah?" "Mm?" "I wanna have sex." "...Okay." *** They shut the blinds. Undaunted, the pale orange glow invaded the bedroom. Painting the walls in slate-grey silhouette. Like the first night. "Like our first night." "What's that, baby?" Leah said, removing her jeans. "Nothing, baby, you just keep doing what you're doing." Dani removed her sleeveless top, raising it over her head. Clinging first to the sports-bra fabric, her breasts dropped free and heavy. Dani rubbed her shoulders. She only noticed then how sore they were. Looking over, she watched Leah take off her own clothes. Bit by bit, uncovering the caramel-coloured body beneath. The smooth skin. The curving collarbones. The flat stomach. The thighs ending just pat the knees. The cream-and-chrome colour prosthetics that clicked and squeaked. The military tattoo on her lower back in spotlighted by the outside light. "God Loves All His Children," inked in curving letters and swirling flourishes. "Hey." "Hm?" "Ain't you gonna take off your pants? You're making me feel self-conscious." Dani sniffed. "I'll get round to it. And I say a little self-consciousness would do you some good." Leah grinned at her. Not the secret sort of grin. This was a joking look. "Oh? You think so, do you? Why so?" Dani's tone joked along with her. "If you ask me, you don't have near enough shame it takes to be a functioning member of society." "Oh yeah? Well I bet even I'd be self-conscious if I had cow tits like you," Leah retorted, walking over and grabbing a handful. Half-ignoring the touch, Dani said, "Still on about the tits, huh? You're just jealous because I get all the hot guys checking me out. Which isn't as fun as it sounds, by the way." "Pfeh, whatever, sugar-tits." Groping, Leah got a good old feel of Dani's boobs. Kneading and caressing them. Lifting them, feeling their weight. "So, Ms Functioning Member of Society, how's this gonna play out? If you'll recall, you asked me for this. Who's the shameless one, I wonder. Ooh, ooh, you wanna try the 69 again? I know last time it didn't go so well, but-" "No. No more 69-ing. Ever again. Last time you nearly slipped a disk trying to reach my cooch. I almost called an ambulance. I got a better idea." With that, Dani leaned down and whispered something in Leah's ear. Leah smiled like the filthiest Jack O' Lantern. "Leah likes." "Thought you would. So hands off and let me get in position." "Yes'm." Leah let go of Dani's boobs. She stepped back and watched, arms on opposite elbows. Dani went to the bed and sat on to the covers. Shifting to the centre, she positioned herself lying on her back. Head on the pillow. Hands at her sides. Knees up, feet splayed. "Okay," she said, "come on over." Fully naked, Leah went over and crawled onto bad. Grinning as ever, she knelt over Dani's face. The joints of her prosthetics clicked. "You ready for this?" she asked, lusty-toned. Dani placed her hands on Leah's hips. "Go for it." Leah lowered her hips into Dani's waiting face. As soon as, Dani stuck out her tongue and set to work on licking. Leah shivered at her touch. All available blood went rushing to her vulva. Dani felt it expand, turn hot. Upward strokes. In through the labia majora, flicking upwards to the very tip. Stopping just before the pubic hair. Dani, hands still on Leah's hips, gripped tight. Directed her lower. Listening to her lover's breath, hot and ragged. Dani's own sex began to throb. She put her thighs together, pressing it. Momentary release, making her wait her turn. Leah's clit appeared. Dani had been knocking on its door for a while. Engorged with blood and pulsing, the little red-pink nub presented itself. Leah waited with bated breath. Dani's tongue ignored it first. Let it wait. She went on with her upward strokes, but now stopped just ahead of the clit. Leah shivered some more. From her limited field of vision, Dani saw her rub her boobs. She changed tactics. Tapering her tongue, she licked around but not on the little red bishop. Teasing it. Circling around in a big O. Leah let out a wordless moan. Warm juices flowed from her, drooling onto Dani's face. At last, Dani licked the clitoris. Leah shivered all the more. Her metal legs clicked and squeaked as she shifted. Dani was careful with her attention to the berry. Never too much too soon. She didn't want to spoil her. Flicking it first, a second at a time. Then dabbing at it, gentle at first, but with more pressure each time. Like trying to press it back into its little cave. Leah moaned and gasped. "Aah¬ – fuck, Dan – you ah, you g - got so much better at this –" A compliment. Dani smiled. Practice made perfect. She'd had lots of practice. Keeping the pressure, she licked Leah's clit. Keeping her tongue in place, she moved her round. Down to up. Side to side. Each time she'd release her tongue, she's get right back on it. Assaulting the small nub with all the muscle's strength. Leah's juices gushed. Her hands found their way behind her. Looking forward, her hands tapped about. Brushing the undersides of Dani's breasts. Down her hard mid-section. Meeting the hem of her jeans. With deft fingers, she unbuttoned them. Unzipped the front, revealing the plain panties and underneath, her vagina, now also running with fluid. Her fingers slipped under the fabric, hunted past the scratch jungle of hair. Discovering the slit. With two fingers, she rubbed and caressed it. Dani showed thanks by increasing her efforts. Arching behind her, Leah got her fingers in. Her pussy flowed like a fountain. Dani grasped her ass, pushing her forward and further into her face. The pressure built. Leah stuck her tongue out with abandon. Her breathing grew intense. Her fingers slipped out of Dani. She wasn't shivering, but shaking. A wave of pleasure pulsed through her, setting her back up straight. Turning her face up in rapture. Another wave rocked her arching forward, head down. Arms straight, hands on either side of Dani's head. Her long black hair draped down, brushing her lover's forehead. Her mouth open, tongue out. Dani paused for breath. She looked up at her lover, arched over her. They caught each other's eyes. 'Don't stop,' Leah mouthed at her. Dani broke the gaze. Tentative, she turned her head. Hesitated briefly. Then opened her mouth and bit Leah's thigh. Hard enough to leave marks on the flesh. Darting her gaze up, she looked for the reaction. What would happen? In reaction to the pain, what would Leah do? "Don't stop," Leah whispered, out of breath and biting her lip. Not sure what she'd been expecting, Dani got back to licking. Keeping up the pressure with her tongue. Not relenting until the moment of climax. Leah shuddered all the more. She cried out, once, twice. Raised up on her knees, shaking with ecstasy. Eyes closed, mouth open. Then she fell back, still on her knees. Her butt hovered over her lover's collarbones. "That – might become - my new favourite thing." Leah said between breaths. "Sitting on my face?" Dani replied. "Yeah, that." "Huh. Well I'm glad you liked it. I'm not sure about it, myself. I thought I'd get more out of it but really you seemed to – bwegh." Dani stopped talking because Leah squished her cheeks together with her thighs. "Don't sweat the small stuff, babe," Leah said. "The important thing is that I had fun." "Whatever," Dani said, retrieving her hands and moving Leah's legs away. "Get off me now. You're dripping sweat and juice all over." Leah rolled off and Dani sat up, crossing her legs. Then Leah lay down beside, hands behind her head and a pleased look on her face. One of her knees. On the inner thigh, Dani could see the mark left by her bite. The flesh, at first pale, now recovered its colour. It would not take long for all traces of it to disappear. "Hey, Leah?" "Yeah, babe?" "... Nah, nothing." "What is it? Spill." "Nothing. Forget about it." "... Oh, I get it." Leah rose and wrapped her arms around Dani in a loose embrace. "You're pouting because you didn't get to cum, right?" Seeing no alternative, Dani put on what she thought a pouting face looked like. "Maybe." "Alright, alright, I get it." Crawling round, Leah placed her hands on her lover's knees. "I'm nothing if not fair. Leah knows you got to get yours too. So how do you want it? You want to return the favour and sit on my face?" "No thanks, I'd be scared of crushing your head." "Huh. Yeah, now that I think about it, that is a real possibility. Heh heh, you could ruin my head just by flexing your thighs." "Right, so –" "Like an overripe watermelon. Just destroyed." "Okay, Leah, that's –" "Spluhsh. That's the sound it would make. All over the sheets." "Just put your tongue in me already, goddammit!" "Eesh, what a thing to say. Who's the fiend now?" Dani said nothing, not wanting to encourage Leah further. Leah just smiled, and moved her lover's crossed ankles out of the way. "Up," she said, going to take the jeans off. Dani raised her butt, and Leah pulled them down off her hips. Down her legs, discarding them to the side of the bed. The panties were plain grey y-fronts with a navy band. Those were soon discarded too. Exposed, Dani's pussy glistened with moisture. "She's so pretty," Leah said with a wistful tone. "Please don't call my cunt 'she.' It's weird." "Why not? I do it with mine." Not waiting for an answer, Leah dipped her head down. In between Dani's thighs. Blowing air lightly on her vulva. Pecking little kisses along her inner thighs. Biting one, in the same spot Dani had bit her. She released a little moan in surprise. "Payback for earlier," Leah whispered. "Y – you didn't say anything, so..." Dani stuttered. Leah didn't answer. Instead, she spread the lips of the labia to expose the flesh underneath. Sticking out her tongue, she flicked at the pink. Dani released a breath she'd been holding. Her whole body relaxed. Not shivering yet, but she was sweating. She looked ahead of her. Leah knelt on the bed, on hands and elbows. Her head between Dani's legs. Her ass in the air, moving side to side. Dani reached her hand out and stroked her lover's back. Down along her spine, between her shoulder blades. To her lower back, the low valley. Round to her sides, fingers brushing her midriff. Rising to the mound of her butt. Reaching to her cheeks and grabbing a handful. Squeezing and kneading the flesh. Leah responded by licking Dani's pussy, the full width of her tongue lapping at the organ. Copying her tactics from earlier, upward strokes and flicking upwards at the tip. With her labia spread, Dani's love juices built and dripped slowly. Her breath grew deeper and heavier. One hand rested on her girlfriend's tailbone. The other shifted around on the bed sheets, toying with the fabric. She felt her clit rise with reluctance. Felt it swell with blood, and blush at the attention it was getting. Leah's hands reached around and shifted Dani's hips more towards her. They slipped under her ass and squeezed. Dani's breath became more and more ragged. Sweat ran from her forehead down her face, down her throat. Onto her breasts, shimmering in the low light. Down her midriff, her navel. Down to her thighs, spread apart for Leah to bury her face and tongue in her crotch. With one finger first, then two, Leah rubbed at Dani's pussy. At the same time, she sucked and licked her clit. She stroked the folds up, down and around. Dani shivered. Using her index and ring finger, she spread the lips and stuck her middle finger into her vagina. Her index soon joined it. Inside, she hooked the fingers, searching for that special spot. She found it after a minute. The big woman gasped. With vigour, Leah fingered her, arm like a piston. Dani fell bit by bit onto her back. Hand on her forehead, eyes closed. The dark-skinned woman pulled her head back, focussing now on fingering her. She watched her lover writhe her body around. Turning her torso to one side. Face in the sheets, wavy hair covering her eyes. Strong hands splayed and groping. Breathing wildly. She leant forward, keeping the speed of her fingers. Leant her face close to Dani's thick muscled shoulder. Kissing and licking it. Grazing it with her teeth. Leaning further to her neck, which got the same treatment. Breathing hard in her ear. Licking and chewing the soft lobes. The knuckles of her hand pressed against her own crotch. Dani turned her head. Her eyes met Leah's again. A silent message went between them. They closed their eyes and kissed. There was lots of tongue in it. They tasted of each other. The big woman turned back onto her back. Opening herself to her lover. She took her free hand and directed it to her boob. Leah kneaded the soft mound. Squeezing, pinching the nipple. Soon enough, the pressure built once again. The kiss broke. They both looked downwards to see. Leah's fingers going in and out and in of Dani's pussy. Her pussy schlicking and flowing with juice. The pressure grew and grew until finally it released. Dani squirted, and it reached to the end of the bed. Her back arched with the force. Then she collapsed back down and breathed hard breaths. Leah retrieved her fingers and cooed at the fluid that clung to her fingers. "You know, I love seeing that," said Leah, stroking around Dani's navel. "It never gets old." "I – I got the bed all dirty," was Dani's ragged answer. "No problem, we can just flip the mattress over. Like our first night, remember?" "Our first -? Yeah, I remember. Of course I remember... You remember, right?" "Uh, yeah, what...?" "You remember, how we got drunk and I cried because – of... yeah, you know, you remember." "... Yeah?" "I just – I wanted to say sorry. That must've been so awkward for you." "Hey, don't worry about that. Considering how things went after, I'd say it was worth it." "That's the thing. It was worth it. All that sad stuff and pain, I think it was all worth it if I could be together with you like this. That's why – that's why this all feels too good to be true, like – like I'm gonna wake up any minute and it'll all have just been a dream. I guess – that was what was on my mind earlier. I'm scared that all of this really is just a dream." "...Huh. I had – no idea you were thinking about heavy things like that. I'm a little envious." "Envious?" "Yeah. Like, I can never be as serious as you can. I've always been the class clown, if you get what I'm saying." "Class clown – yeah, that totally sounds like you. But, you know, that's not a bad thing. I like that about you. How you can turn everything around, look at everything like a joke. I think that's great, and really cool of you." "Man, you sure are getting excited. Sure you don't wanna get some shut-eye now? I'd say we deserve it." "Can you just listen first, please? I need to say something and if I put it off, then I'll never be able to say it." "...Alright, alright. Go for it." "All I want to say is that I don't care if all of this is a dream, because right now, I am so happy. You said one time that I was the best thing in your life. Well, you're the best thing in my life. I know that now. If this is all a dream and I'm going to wake up, I'm going to enjoy it as much as possible. I wanna be with you as much as I can. I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but I wanna be there with you when it does come. All I want to say is that – I love you Leah. A lot." Several minutes passed in silence. Dani waited for the reaction. Leah's mouth hung open in stunned silence. "Uh – I – ah – wow, that's – I mean, that's – wow. Just – wow." Another minute of silence passed. "I'm sorry, I just – I don't how to – respond to such – you – really fire on all cylinders when you want to, don't you?" Dani blushed furiously. "Y – yeah, well – I just had to get it off my chest, you know? I mean, I thought if I waited long enough then I could find the perfect time to say it, but – y –you know, I kept waiting and almost a whole year was gone, so... Yeah, look, I'm sorry. I know you don't really do – I know you're not a sentimental person and I get that, I'm cool with that. So, I don't really need an answer or anything from you. I just – I just needed to let you know how I felt." Leah smiled and kissed Dani on the mouth. "You know something," she said, "you look really cute when you stutter." Dani didn't answer. "And when you get all passionate." Her thumb and forefinger under her chin, she turned the big woman to face her. "And it's alright, you know?" She kissed her again, and smiled. "I love you too." Dani blinked. "You mean it?" "Yes, I mean it." "You really mean it?" "Yes." "You really really mean it?" "Sí, chica, now kiss me or something already." There was a laugh in Leah's. Dani smiled with her whole being. She kissed her full on the lips, then wrapped the smaller woman in a hug. She returned the hug, her arms tight around her broad frame. Dani did not see Leah's smile drop. She did not see her staring with vacant eyes at the wall. She only saw her gentle smile, which she put back on as they kissed once more. They flipped the mattress over and got into bed. Leah didn't remove her prosthetics, despite Dani's offer of help. 'Leave them on, just for tonight. What difference does it make?' she said. The artificial light strained through the blinds. *** Dani woke up. The first thing she noticed was the clock, reading 12:03 am. The second thing she noticed was that Leah wasn't in the bed with her. For a moment she was confused. Then the situation dawned on her and she rose out of bed. Switching on the light, she looked around her room. There were clothes on the floor. Her clothes. Only her clothes. Not Leah's. "Oh no", Dani whispered. She'd woken up. It had happened, like she knew it would. "Not now, not now, not now. I only just started, please, please, not now." Pulling on some briefs and a hoodie jacket, she tore out of the room. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe she could keep dreaming. Leah was outside in the entryway, standing near the door. Dani breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Hey," she said, "you gave me a scare there." But Leah didn't respond beyond: "So you woke up." Her face was without expression. She was fully clothed, as well. All her clothes, picked up from the bedroom floor. In her hand was the key to the apartment. GLAHC Ch. 02: Santa Muerte "I – it's pretty late," Dani said, frowning. Her voice filling up with dread. "Wh – are you ¬– uh – going somewhere?" "Yeah. I gotta go someplace. Sorry, but I can't stick around any longer. I hope you understand." "Sure, I might understand if I knew where you were going?" "Just – someplace. I got things I need to do there." "Things? What things, what are you going to do?" "You know, things. I don't wanna bore you with the details." "But I want to know." "You really don't." "Yes I do." "Aargh, look, I gotta go now. Sorry, but that's just the way it is. You should go on back to bed. Like you said, it's late." "Leah, wait!" Everything seemed to freeze in place. "Please. Please don't leave. I – I know I got a little carried away earlier but – I can't help it, I love you. So please, please don't go away from me." "...How do you know?" "W – what?" "How do you know you love me? Did you get a letter? Or an e-mail? Some little spam shit that pops up and says 'congrats, you're in love?' Don't you think that you – that the both of us – are a little old for that?" "Too old for – love? You think that?" "Sure? I mean, I figure you reach a certain level of maturity and – you know, break out of certain delusions." "Delusions -?!" "And even leaving that, don't forget what we are. What we did for a living. We're soldiers, Dan. Soldier girl. We killed people. Not often very nice people, but still. I think that when you spend a few years shooting at folk in some god-awful sand trap, you oughtta move past certain things. Kid's stuff. "Or what? Are you gonna tell me that you still believe everything you got told as a kid?" Numb silence. "I didn't think so. If you ask me, true love has more in common with the fucking tooth fairy than anything else. You're better off growing out of it sooner than later. Anyway, that's my piece done. See you round, Dan." "W – Wait! Don't go, please. I don't want – I don't – I don't know I can say, but – I know if we talk we can make this right. If I did something, we can make it right. Please Leah, please. I love you so much, please don't –" Dani's tongue caught in her throat. At the sight of Leah's face. Her face, like the worst thing in the world. Like a nightmare. "Do you know what love is?" she said, her voice hollow and terrible. "Because I don't." Leah left. The door clicked behind her. Making next to no sound. Dani was left standing there. Not moving. Not speaking. Not crying. She turned and went into her living room and didn't cry. She sat on her sofa and didn't cry. She stared with vacant eyes into space and she did not cry. She wanted to. More than anything she wanted to. But her eyes were as dry as desert air. She wrapped her arms around herself. Pulling her knees into her chest. Dipping her head down. Curling into as small a ball as possible. One of her hands went to her midriff. Underneath the fabric of her sweater, her tattoo was inked onto her bare skin. Her military tattoo, which she shared with everyone in the old platoon. Leah had the same one on the opposite side. "God Loves All His Children." The story went that one of the original platoon members said it as his dying words. Lying on a stretcher, suffering some of the worst pain known to man. He whispered it with his dying breath. Croaked it, more like, with bloody lungs and smoking veins. He did not mean it in a good way. Captain Weybridge, their commanding officer, was a friend of that man. He was there as he died. He heard him say his final words. So in memorial, he had it tattooed over his heart. "God Loves All His Children" he said one night. All His children. Every single one. Every murderer, every rapist, every terrorist, every insurgent and mad bomber. God loved all of them, and He loved all of them equally. That was why no-one would be saved. Because the saving of one might result in the loss of another. What would be the decision? Which child would God decide deserved to live more than the other? But no, the decision was too hard a one to make. Though He may weep to see His child in pain, to save them might mean to endanger another of his beloved children. That is why the world is so fucked up, said the Captain. Dani could hear him, in her head even now. God's not dead, you see, but he is insane. Wouldn't you go insane if you had to watch your kids kill each other? The world is fucked, and war is worse than hell. But it is necessary. It's necessary because we're God's children, made in His children. But we don't love everything equally. For some people, some things, we love more than anything in the world. More than ourselves. More than God. So we fight for it. We fight and we die and it's worth it. That's what this tattoo means. God loves all His children, including the ones we're fighting. He won't help you out there. All you can count on is yourself, your rifle and the guy at your back. Now get out there and defend what's yours. "Yes sir." Dani whispered under her breath. How long had it been since she'd said those word? They sounded weird now. Her voice didn't sound like her own. Nothing seemed like it should. It was all depleted, as if sapped of all colour. "Oh, I get it. I woke up, that's all." She unzipped her hoodie down to her midsection, and put her hand inside. Touching her midriff, over her tattoo. She gripped the flesh, digging her finger nails in. Drawing a trickle of blood. But she barely felt it. The pain came from far away, and she was somewhere else. Outside, the streetlamp flickered on and off, finally shorting out and plunging the room into darkness. END OF CHAPTER TWO