15 comments/ 11092 views/ 10 favorites Death Bed By: KnowledgeLove87 "I DO love you!" I pleaded, "If I didn't then this wouldn't be a big deal to me!" I said as I grabbed Lisa's hand with the passion that surged through my soul. "Why do you always have to bring it up when we are having a good time?" Why can't we just be happy together?!" She asked. How could anyone ask that question in our situation and mean it? I flashed her a hurt look, stomped into the bedroom and slammed the door. Happy? Together? How could we possibly be happy together? I admit, we... well... I think she does too, enjoy each other's company, go on romantic dates, and after work I like nothing more than to rush home to be with her; but happy was far from what I would describe our lives together. I sat on the bed and lied back to study the ceiling. I obsessively counted many of the daggers of plaster that hung from it, subconsciously wishing that one would loosen, (and actually be strong enough for some damage) and hit me right in the heart. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 That's how old I am, 29. I thought that my sexual peek peeked back when I was 18, but just as everyone said it would happen, (and when it would happen) it did; now. 30 I think that I feel like a teenage boy, I'm aroused upon sun up almost every morning. I'd catch myself following lovely asses as they walk by when I'm out with Lisa, as they walk by my office, as they walk by on my television screen; if there was a lovely ass walking by, I saw it. 31 32 33, Lisa; I felt the sting in my eyes right before the tears gathered into them. When we are apart, almost anything that reminds me of her hurts. She is just so beautiful! We've been together for 9 and 87th percent of a year and I cherish the fascination that I still have for her. She perfected as she aged, even more beautiful than the day that I met her, not in a shallow way, she was beautiful all the way through. I've come to truly appreciate the volumetrics of her. 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 It was already 4:00, we only had an hour to get dressed and to our dinner reservation. My mom set it up for us a week before; apparently that little visit that Lisa and I had with her parents a couple of weeks ago sparked some curiosity in her mom. I warned Lisa that we should postpone until I was done ovulating, but she insisted, so off we went. It was just a 30 minute flight from our airport to Lisa's parents' airport. When we landed I got my and Lisa's carry-ons and lead her off of the plane and to the escalator. I walked ahead of her down the escalator. I always walked ahead of her going downstairs and behind her going upstairs. I always opened doors for her and pulled her chair out and pushed it in for her. I carried all of the bags (if I physically could) without her assistance. When we first started dating she complained about it, but she had grown used to it by the first six or seven months. We got off of the escalator and were greeted by her mom and dad. "HI HONIES!" her mom squealed with her arms opened wide. "Hi Mom," we both said at the same time. "Oh look at you two," her dad exclaimed "you guys are trying to catch up to me and your mother; what is it honey? Almost 10 years now?" he asked as he put his arm around Lisa and kissed her head. "Yes daddy, 9 years and 75 percent of a year as Kendra would say," she giggled and I nudged her in the ribs for poking fun at me. He turned and looked at me "So what is it? You guys trying to take our belt? Dethrone us from our title?" He asked with a serious face. I smiled and was about to respond but Lisa jumped in. "I hope so daddy," Lisa said peering over her shoulder at me. We got in their car and they drove us to what I thought would be their house, but it looked more like the mall. "Ok girls, just a little pit stop before we head back, I have to get your dad some new slacks." Lisa and I reluctantly got out of the car and followed her parents into the mall. Lisa sat on the bench pulled out her phone and I sat next to her. And then it hit me like I knew it would. I saw them, the mall was swarming with them, they walked by me, they bent over; they stood there in all of their glory. I tried to snap out of it but I couldn't. I felt myself growing wet. I squirmed in my seat; I could feel Lisa's eyes burning into me as I tried to control the squirm and my gaze. "Hi Honies!" I was saved, or so I thought as Lisa's mom and dad walked up to us with a single bag. "Got the slacks, let's go," she said cheerfully I got up gratefully and walked next to her mom and Lisa followed with her dad. I didn't dare look at her, but I felt her eyes attempting to tear my soul in two. I hung my head in shame as I walked to the car. Then I felt a little breeze as Lisa and her dad ran past us in a race to the car, giggling. Lisa let her dad win, though he was in shape, for his age of 58, he was no match for my long legged beauty. "So Hun, have you girls made plans for the big 10?" Her mom asked me. "Umm well Mom, I have BIG plans for us, I just hope that she will be happy with them." "Of course she will; she absolutely loves you!" Her mom exclaimed. "So can you spare a little detail on these BIG plans?" I wanted to tell her everything! I wanted to tell her that her daughter hasn't slept with me since our last anniversary almost a year ago and then a year ago before that. I wanted to tell her about the roaring flame inside of me that was consuming my life. I wanted to tell her, someone, anyone, about the pain that I was feeling. I wanted to tell. I wanted to but out of my undying respect for Lisa, I kept it inside. I decided to tell her where I had planned to take her daughter. "Well Mom," I smiled slyly "first I'm going to pick her up early from..." I heard the clanking metal first, then my hands shot to my side and I was on the ground, shut my eyes and winced in pain "Oh I'm so so so so sorry!!" I heard a scared, sweet voice say. I felt 4 hands on me at once as I was being lifted to my feet. I opened my eyes and saw Lisa sprinting from the car, (her dad trailing her this time). 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 strides it took her to get to me. "Oh baby! Are you alright?!" She asked as she ran up to me. She lifted up the side of my shirt where I had been hit and it sent a spasm to my loins; I instinctively went in and kissed her lips, she pulled back with a frown and we both turned and looked at the short half Asian half Black woman who was picking up her bike. "I... I... I'm so ... so sorry... are you ok? I'm going to call mall security so that we can report your injury, it doesn't matter; I'm probably going to get fired sooner or later anyway." She said looking down as she took her phone out of her back pocket. "NO, it's ok, really." I said as I grabbed the hand with the phone in it. "I'm fine." "OH thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said as she dropped her bike and gave me a hug. I hugged back, and tightly, I turned my head to her big beautiful curly black hair and inhaled deeply. My hand slid down smoothly to the small of her back and I squeezed a little tighter. She didn't let go, I felt my thigh push a little between her legs and she let out a soft moan. It was loud enough for Lisa's Mom to hear, who had been listening to her Dad argue with Lisa about my decision not to call security. I saw her snap her head to see what the noise was about and her jaw dropped, she saw where my hands were, where my thigh was and how close the girl was holding me. I let go quickly and backed away. Lisa's mother grew angry, but tried to hide it as she told the girl to go about her business, turned and walked to the car. Lisa and her dad were right behind her and I trailed with my head hanging low. Lisa and her dad hadn't seemed to notice that anything was wrong with her mother, they just chatted the whole way to their house about childhood memories. The rest of the stay there was awkward, Lisa talked to me but made sure not to ask me how I was feeling again, probably from fear that I would require some physical attention to my bruised side and I would make another move on her. Lisa's mom treated me even nicer than she did before, offering me snacks, asking me how I felt seemingly every hour, and honestly just talking entirely too much. I was beginning to feel overstimulated and Lisa knew it. Lisa told her Mom that we would be leaving a day early, and without protest, Lisa's mom drove us to the airport the next day and saw us off. ___________________________________________ 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 Please take care of my baby The words that Lisa's mom whispered to me when she dropped us off. 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 I knew that Lisa's mom must have called and told my mom what happened because as soon as we got out of the airport 5 voice messages and 3 text messages popped up on my cell phone from my mom. I listened to the messages all of which essentially said the same thing, "Give me a call" and that's how the dinner reservation was set up. 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 101 103 Lisa opened the bedroom door. "I'm sorry baby," I said to her as she entered the closet. "It's ok; can we just go to this dinner and have a good time tonight?" She asked genuinely "Yes baby," I said as I hung my head I felt her smile I got up, got ready and we were out of there by 4:40 We walked the 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 blocks to the restaurant. She talked the whole way there about work. I tried to listen to her the best that I could but my mind was elsewhere, the same place that it usually was. We got to the restaurant and I held the door open for her. We were greeted by the hostess and she led us to our reserved corner table in the back of the restaurant. We were the only ones back there and the lighting was dim. I gestured for Lisa to take the seat on the inside and I sat next to her. Our waitress was beautiful, I didn't hear a word she said, I only saw her, I completely undressed her with my eyes and suddenly I felt something beaming on the side of my head that snapped me out of my gawking. I turned to see Lisa staring furiously at me; she peered deeply into my eyes and was beyond angry. I hung my head and asked the waitress to repeat herself. "Sure," I heard her smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. I didn't look up at her. She introduced herself and took our drink order. I ordered wine in the hopes that Lisa would also order a real drink and get a little buzzed, but she ordered a cranberry juice with no ice. The waitress said that she'd be right back with our drinks and I turned and looked at Lisa. Her eyes were teary but she didn't let them fall. I said nothing. The waitress returned with my wine and her juice. "On second though" I said looking up at her "I'll have a vodka straight with no ice and a few raspberries, and a glass of water" I realized that I was looking at her and quickly looking back down. "No problem sweetie; I'll be right back with that, anything else for you ma'am?" She turned to Lisa smiling genuinely. Lisa didn't say anything she didn't even look at her. "No," I said, "thank you," I said trying to smile. "Ok then," she smiled and disappeared into the next room. "I'm sorry Lisa baby," I said as I touched her hand. "Sorry for what?" She cut back sharply. "I'm sorry that...for... what... how... I looked at that waitress." "I don't know what you are talking about," Lisa said coldly and picked up her menu and began reading it, not a tear in sight. "So are you lovely ladies ready to order ," The waitress said as the placed my drink on the table I searched for my menu on the table, picked it up and knocked over the glass of wine. It spilled on my slacks and was making its way over to Lisa's side of the table. I sacrificed my napkin to assure that none of the wine would spill on her white blouse or on her skirt. "I'm sorry," I said. The waitress smiled "It's ok," she reached behind her back and pulled a napkin from her belt and began patting and wiping my lap. I sat back and breathed in deeply as I noticed that her slightly cleavaged breast were half of an inch from my nose and mouth. She smelled of faint saliva and perfume and I knew that someone had been licking and sucking on her flesh sometime today. It was probably only for a half of a second, but for me it was if I had taken her whole breast into my mouth myself; a shiver ran up my spine. I grabbed Lisa's thigh under the table cloth and squeezed hard. I couldn't help, it. "That'll be enough!" Lisa said loudly to the waitress. She backed up and nodded grabbed the glass and went to refill my wine. I could no longer contain my urges, my hand forced itself into the black band of Lisa's skirt and my fingers found her. She grabbed my arm, I barely noticed. All I could think about was where my fingers were; she wasn't wet but I didn't care. I heard a gasp of pain as I pushed my long finger into her; she let go of my arm. I was too ashamed to look at her face but I knew that she was shedding tears as they hit the arm of my blouse, 1 2 3 4. The waitress came back with my wine and put it on the table. I could tell that she wanted to ask about us ordering but she saw Lisa crying and said that she'd give us a few more minutes to look over the menu. As soon as she turned to leave I pushed my finger deeper inside of her and moved it in and out a few times before she grabbed my arm again under the table and pinched me. I pulled out of her in pain and turned and grabbed my purse with enough care not to ruin my newly prized finger and rushed out of the restaurant. I didn't bother pay, I'm sure the waitress would tell her that the bill was already taken care of. She'd probably leave the restaurant and walk around until she concluded that it's been long enough, and come home; that's how she always handled things. Once I was out side of the restaurant, I slung my purse over my shoulder took of my shoes and ran the 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 blocks home. A man coming out of my building noticed that I was crying and stopped me to ask if I was alright, I nodded and brushed past him, no patience to wait for the elevator. I ran upstairs and opened the door, let its weight and automatic lock take care of itself, dropped my shoes and my purse and hurried to the bedroom. I put my prized finger to my nose and inhaled deeply. Oh how I've missed the scent of her. I used to get it from her panties but she stopped wearing them after she walked in on me wearing them as I was climaxing with my fingers between my legs. What was I to do? I carefully took my black slacks and panties off in one slide, my finger of gold sticking out of the way while my other fingers did the work. Finally, I plopped on the bed and sniffed it for the last time as I knew that I was about to ruin it forever. I caressed my breast with the other hand and I slide the finger inside of myself. The waitress, Lisa's scent and my ovulation made me so wet that the one finger wasn't enough. I didn't want to ruin the thought of it really being Lisa inside of me by adding another finger so I curled the one and found my g spot. I imagined that it was Lisa's finger, it felt so good. My emotions were taking control of me, I felt my hips begin to move into my hand and my palm rubbed my clit as I circled my "Lisa finger" in and almost out of myself. I came the hardest that I've come in a long time, my pussy swelled around my finger and tears fell fast to my ears, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14. I screamed out her name turned to my side to ride out my climax. I sobbed myself to sleep. I woke up to the slam of the front door. I was still laying there half naked and knew that there would be problems if I got caught like that. 7:39; a quick glance at the clock. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, closed the door, turned on the shower and jumped in, with my blouse still on. "I'm home," I heard Lisa call. She always did this, every time! She'd always act as if nothing happened! Although my actions were unforgivable and would ignite fury in almost anyone, she acted as if all was well just to avoid the topic of sex. I played along. "Ok baby, when I get out can we talk?" I asked optimistically. "Well when are you getting out... I'm really tired Kendra, can we talk tomorrow?" I thought about it, I knew that we wouldn't really talk tomorrow; I knew that she was postponing it as long as she possible could just like she always did. Even though I hadn't washed the smell of sex off of myself, I turned off the water. I listed for Lisa to sigh, but she didn't. I took off my blouse grabbed a towel and wrapped myself into it. I walked out of the bathroom door and saw that she was sitting down on the bed in her pajamas already. 1 2 3 4 5 ...34 I began counting the red hearts on pink her pajamas until I realized that I already knew how many there were. It had gotten dark outside and she had turned on the lamp on my night stand. I dropped my towel, walked over 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 steps, and knelt down in front of her. I placed my head on her lap. "You didn't wash your hair?" "Lisa, I'm so sorry for what I did to you in the restaurant," I began to tear up "I don't know what came over me." "You're ovulating," Lisa said emotionlessly. "But Lisa, I have, well I thought that I had self -control, something is happening to me, I'm becoming a monster. A raging sex addict or something." "You're not a sex addict." "I think about sex all of the time Lisa!" She shifted uncomfortably and I lifted my head to look her into the eyes. "My mind is foggy; I can barely concentrate on anything without turning it into something sexual! I feel like a pervert!" "You're not a pervert Kendra, it's just been a long time for you, for us; un...unless you've been with someone else?" "NO, never Lisa! You are the love of my LIFE" I would never do anything like that to break your heart, I'd die if I ever really hurt you!" A look of relief captured her face "Ok then," and with that she turned and got into bed. That was it. She got what she wanted to know out of me and left me confused once again. I sighed, and got into bed next to her and turned on my side facing away from her. I turned off my lamp and started quietly sobbing into my hands until I fell asleep. "Oh... yes... right there ... I'm going to come!" I heard faintly in my sleep, I woke up on my back to an orgasm and my hips gyrating up and down on nothing. I realized that the words had come from my mouth as warm fluid began to soak into the bed under my ass. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock, it was 11:10 I turned my head and saw Lisa sitting up starting angrily at me. "I... I'm sor." I began. Lisa reeled her hand back and slapped my left cheek hard. I shut my eyes and screamed in pain. She jumped from the bed and left the bedroom. I jumped up after her. "I'm sorry Lisa!! I didn't have a wet dream on purpose! How am I to help what my body does when I am sleeping?!" "It's not just that you had a wet dream Kendra, who is Shelby?!" "What, what do you mean?" "WHO IS SHELBY?!" She asked again. I knew who Shelby was; she was a coworker that I "forgot" to tell Lisa about a few months ago when she was hired. I put my head down and slumped to the floor beneath her feet. "She works with me." "What?! Did you fuck her?! I didn't respond. She got down on her knees, grabbed my chin and brought my eyes to meet with hers. She was already shedding countless tears down her face. "Did you fuck her?" She asked again. This time very seriously without the same rage. "No baby, no I didn't." She got up and walked back to the bedroom, leaving me a mess on the hallway floor. I got up some time later to find her on her way out of the room. She put the soaked sheets into the hallway clothes bin and grabbed my hand and lead me back to the bedroom. She climbed into the newly made bed and I after her. She didn't touch me and I didn't touch her. Death Bed I lay there thinking. How did this happen? We were very sexually active for 7 whole years and then for the next I was only allowed to cuddle and kiss her, if I made my way to her sex she would close up on me. That continued for another year and then she just stopped allowing me to cuddle, kiss, touch or anything with her. I wasn't even allowed to hold her hand. But she insisted that she loved me and that she didn't want to lose me. On our 8th year anniversary I told her that I wasn't happy anymore and that I didn't think that she love me that that I was leaving her. She cried and begged for me to stay. She even brought my hand to her mouth and sucked on my fingers. I saw the tears in her eyes as she then brought them down to her opening and put them inside of her. It was great for me, but I knew that something wasn't right. She didn't have that same passion that she had the year before. Nonetheless I enjoyed it and took it as a token of her love for me and I stayed. I tried to make love to her a few times after that and was turned down until our 9th anniversary when she gave in, probably from fear that I'd try to leave her again. That time I kept her up all night and milked her for everything that she had. I lied there sobbing helplessly in my hands until I drifted off into a horrible rest of the night of sleep. 1:04am I woke up to my phone vibrating on my nightstand. I picked it up and read the name, 'Shelby'. I opened the text. "Hi Kendra cn u meet me at our spottt im here al aloned and im knda buzzzzz." I looked over at Lisa, she was sleeping. I got up and put on some grey sweatpants, a black t-shirt and some flip flops. I almost always wore flip flops, even if it was cold outside. I like the flapping sound they make when I walk. It makes it easy for me to remember how many steps I took without actually counting them. I can just go back and count the flips or the flops later. I'm not sure why I felt the need to do that. I grabbed my keys and left out to the bar. I jogged the 1 2 3 blocks to our spot, a little bar on the corner close to my house but not too close. We had been going there since after the first week that Shelby began working with me. I made sure to never flirt, but I enjoyed it when she flirted with me, and used it as um... motivation for later. When I walked in I saw Shelby sitting at the bar taking a shot. She smiled at the bartender threw her head back and downed it in one gulp. She was gorgeous; I couldn't help but notice. She looks so much like my Lisa but with an edge. She looked at me and then back at the bartender, said something to her and then motioned for me to join her. I sat down next to her and put my head down to keep from staring. "What's up Kendra, you're not even going to look at me? Wait let me guess, you've gotten into more trouble with your little cute wife and you're back in the dog house?" I didn't respond. "Really what is with you Kendra? Why are you always doing something to piss Lisa off? She is a beautiful woman, and you should be worshiping the ground that she walks on." "Yes, Lisa is beautiful," I snapped back, "She's also talented, smart, funny, and she loves me," I think, "but she doesn't show it the way that I need her to." The bartender came back with a shot glass and poured me something clear. I had no idea what it was but I picked up the tiny glass and swallowed the drink inside. I felt the burn of my favorite mood enhancer, vodka, running down my throat. "I said with a raspberry" Shelby called to the bartender; she shrugged and went back to work. "Sheesh, such crappy service here now," Shelby said. I could feel her looking at me. Before she hit me with an onslaught of questions I told her that I don't want to talk about it. "I never figured you for the player type, and if you are why don't you just break it off with her and then you could be with whomever you want to be with." She said seemingly disgusted. "It's not that simple, I love Lisa, I love Lisa more than anything, and I'm trying to make it work with her." "Well if you really loved her then you would keep it in your pants!" She said a little louder than necessary. I don't understand why she is all of a sudden so passionate about this I mean she tries to get down my pants every other day! "Listen Shelby, it's none of your business what I keep in or out of my pants." I got up and walked out of the bar. I saw Shelby throw some cash down through the window and she started running wobbly after me. I picked up the pace; I didn't want to talk to her, hearing her judging me was making me feel like shit. But she was faster than I thought and seemed to sober up fast. She caught me just as I was going into my building. "Wait Kendra, I didn't mean to offend you; I just... had too much to drink. I apologize, can we still be friends?" I thought about it and nodded my head. "Look if you don't want to talk about this, I won't pressure you, but can I use your phone to call a cab? My battery died right after I texted you." "Yeah, come on up, but please lower your voice because Lisa is sleeping." "Ok," she whispered. I held the door open for her, motioned for her to head upstairs and I followed her with my head down. It took everything that I had not to look up her bright red dress. I opened the door and told Shelby to sit on the couch. I walked to the bedroom, closed the door, and quietly came back and turned on one of the living room lamps. I looked over at Shelby sitting on the couch. "Here" I tossed my phone to her and it fell under the coffee table. She giggled quietly and got down on all fours to retrieve it. Her little red dress rode up her hips and I saw her closely trimmed pussy, I felt the gas turn up and the fire grow brighter inside of me. I sighed loudly and reached for my chest. Shelby heard me and turned to see me biting my lip and squeezing my breast. She got up angrily and walked over to me. "What are you doing Kendra?" "It's not what you think Shelby, I'm sorry," I was tired of apologizing. I felt like I apologized for everything and everything was always my fault. "How dare you do something like that, and have the nerve to do it in your home!" "I am going to tell Lisa right now." She said and began walking to the bedroom door. "NO!" I yelled in a whisper "no, Shelby, please!" I said and put my hand on her stomach holding her back. I was so afraid that that contact did nothing sexual for me at all. "Please, I can't hurt her Shelby!" "Then why? Why do you stay with her when you are a cheating bitch?!" She whispered loudly. I felt like this was personal. "Ok, fine Shelby you win, do you want me to leave her? I will, just don't tell her ok?" "Don't leave her on my account, leave her because you love her and you can't keep it in your pants!" I was becoming fed up "Listen Shelby, I can't keep it in my damn pants or whatever because I haven't have sex in almost a year!" I said louder but still quietly enough not to wake Lisa. Her jaw dropped, "What, what do you mean?" "I mean my girlfriend, my wife, my love, my life has only made love to me twice in the past 2 plus years!" I sank to the floor and started balling. I felt Shelby kneel down and put her arms around me. I shrugged them off but she put them back. "I had no idea Kendra, wow..." I hadn't told anyone about this and it felt even worse now than it did when I was keeping it a secret. "I love Lisa, I show her in more ways than one, hell I've stayed for over 2 years with little to no sex, if that's not love then what is?" "God, I was so wrong about you, you're bursting at the seams!" I wiped my eyes and looked up at her with a faint smile. "It feels good to hear that someone understands and that I'm not crazy." "Oh no sweetie, you're not crazy at all," She mumbled something under her breath. I didn't catch it all but I heard "Lisa" and "Crazy." She got up and walked me over the couch, we sat down. She pulled my head down into her lap and although I smelled how wonderful her sex smelled I drifted off to sleep. __________________________________________ "Wake up Kendra" I heard, I opened my eyes to see Shelby looking down at me. My head was still on her lap. It was dawn and I knew that Lisa would be getting ready soon. I jumped up. "You were having a wet dream and it woke me up." She said lowering her eyes. "I... did I wet you?" "No." "Ok, well you have to go now; I'll see you at work ok?" "Ok," I walked her to the door, she kissed me on my cheek and left. Still a bit nervous, I felt no arousal. I lied back down on the couch and fell back asleep. _________________________________________ I heard Lisa open the bedroom door and come into the living room. "Wake up Kendra," I half opened my eyes and looked up at her. "Good morning baby, what time is it?" She was already ready for work. "A little after 6:30, why are you in those clothes and why are you sleeping on the couch?" She asked me. I answered her and tried to keep my face from showing my nervousness. "I went out last night for a walk," I told her. "Oh yeah, alone?" "No, with a friend." "Shelby?" "Yes, Shelby, look Lisa, I'm not cheating on you." I said before she got to her next question. "I wasn't going to ask you that," She snapped. "I'm running late for work, are you going to meet me for lunch or are you going out with Shelby?" She said with an attitude. She walked over and opened the door. "Don't look at me like that Lisa; don't I always go to lunch with you?" "Well I'll see you at noon," she smiled, turned and left. _________________________________________ It was another boring day at the office; numbers, numbers, and more numbers. I thought that when I majored in accounting that it was the best and easiest thing that I could do since I had a love, well an obsession for numbers. That was far from the truth. It was very boring. The math was too simple for me; it was just everyday stuff and not enough of a challenge. I should have majored in engineering. I walked into my office and checked my emails. Did what I had to do for the morning and I was at our restaurant waiting for my Lisa for lunch at 11:50. She arrived 1 2 3 4 5 minutes later. She seemed happy to see me and acted as if nothing had ever happened. She told me about her day so far, that she missed me and asked me about my day. I knew that she loved me. We ate lunch and returned to work. I got back in my office and closed the door. And then I heard a knock. "Come in." It was Shelby, in a cute yellow blouse and a navy blue skirt with the bottom lined with a ruffle. "Hi, I hope that I'm not disturbing you, just coming to check on you after last night." "I'm fine, Shelby thanks," my gaze drifted to her breast. They were pushed up lovely and I saw their roundness through her blouse. She saw what I was looking at and smiled. "You want some of these?" She said jokingly as she pushed them up with her hands. Her little joke started a big flood. "N.. no..." I stammered "just looking at the lovely shade of your blouse and how it matches your teeth." I joked. "Not funny Kendra," She turned and left. We've been joking with each other since the first few weeks of her employment here. I knew that I hadn't hurt her feelings. I'd never say anything to Lisa like that. I would feel too bad. I turned my attention to my wet panties. I got up and locked my office door. I walked back to my chair and sat down. I opened 1 2 3 buttons of my blouse and put my hand under my bra and on my breast. With my leg propped up on my desk I began rubbing my clit. I leaned my head over the back of the chair and began remembering one of the many times that Lisa made love to me. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - We were cuddled up on the couch and had just finished binge watching a popular series on Netflix. Lisa was super horny from the extra attention that I had been showing her nipples during the show. She got up from the couch and kneeled down in front of me. "How much do you want this?" She asked me. "A lot," I replied "How much? Give me a number." Lisa knew about my problem and used it "against" me frequently. "Umm... What is the scale?" "There is no scale, now how much?" I thought for a second. "Hmmm... Infinity to the infinitith power." I said with a smile on my face. Lisa grinned and put her mouth right on the crotch of my sweats and blew hot air. "Take them off." I did. Lisa grabbed my butt and brought me to the very edge of the couch. She dove in tongue first. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I put my foot back down on the floor and dove 1 2 fingers inside of myself at the thought. I remembered the figure 8's that she licked around my clit. She was so talented. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lowered my hands and grabbed her hair. I could see her arm between her legs moving fast. She dove her tongue inside of me; I saw her body spazzing beneath me. I knew that she was going to come. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Just as I remembered how she sang into my pussy as her orgasm hit, I exploded in my chair and began to cry. I gathered my emotions, cleaned myself up and finished up my day. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Days, 1 week and 1 2 months passed, it was 1 2 3 4 days before our 10th anniversary. I've been getting several calls from my and Lisa's mom in the past week making sure that everything was going smoothly. They were childhood friends and Lisa and I were childhood friends. They were ecstatic when we told them of our love for one another and had a lot feelings and emotions invested in our relationship. I let them know that everything was going according to plan and that they shouldn't worry. Things between Lisa and I were going well, after my little... BIG scare I have been able to control myself a lot more. She seemed really happy about everything and that I wasn't making any advances towards her. I even got to hug her and cuddle on the couch with her a few times since then. I could tell that she enjoyed it but that she was still nervous that I would do something to make the moments... advanced. I met Shelby at our spot a few times after that and several times at her house and I've become really comfortable talking to her about everything. She was like my new best friend; she was my comfort away from home. She would hold me and I would lay my head in her lap, she'd even give me little pecks on the lips every now and then. No arousal from me. I felt myself starting to learn to live without sex; with only cuddling, and little kisses here and there. It was Saturday night; I was on my way to Shelby's place. She had convinced me to get wasted with her while Lisa visited her parents' house for the weekend. If I'd known better I would have figured out that she was a closeted alcoholic before I agreed to this. Apartment 7A. I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked a little harder. "Hey bitch!" The door swung open. There was my beautiful Lisa... I mean Shelby standing there in a bra and panties with a glass in her hand. Goddamn she was already plastered. "Come on in," She turned and walked into her apartment. My eyes roamed over her backside and quickly darted to the floor. Shelby walked over to the kitchen table where she had been sitting and poured a lot of vodka into a glass. "I hope that that is not for me," I said with my eyebrows raised. "Oh yeah, I forgot," Shelby walked over, opened and disappeared into the fridge. She emerged with a fresh carton of raspberries. She walked back over to the table and dropped 1 2 3 4 5 of them into the tall glass of straight vodka. I shrugged, picked up the glass and gulped half of it down. Ahhh the burn. I decided to fight the fire inside of me with a different kind of burn tonight; vodka. "Slow down Kendra, we don't want you puking your guts up before the fun starts now do we?" I looked at her and laughed. Fun? Whatever... I sat down and we talked about everything, how Lisa and I met, how much I love her, what my anniversary plans are; everything. Lisa was everything to me. I drank the rest of the vodka, ate the raspberries that were at the bottom of my glass and poured myself another tall drink. I walked over to the fridge and got the raspberries. I turned around a little too fast and felt what the new burn was doing to my body. It felt good. I smiled to myself. I walked back over to the table, plopped the raspberries into my drink and sat down. "So, when did you know that you were gay?" I asked Shelby, trying to not make this night all about myself. "Since I was born, I don't know, elementary school I guess." We laughed. As much as a heavy drinker she obviously was, she was definitely feeling her alcohol now. She looked at me. "What?" I asked. "Hmmmm... What if I told you there was a way that you could make love to Lisa tonight?" She asked me with a slight smile on her face. "What? What are you talking about? Lisa is at her parents' house and won't be back until tomorrow and I can't get on a flight now." I said annoyed that she got my hopes up even for a second. "Well, I look like Lisa don't I? You don't have to answer that, I've seen her pictures on your desk at work." "Forget it Shelby, I am not going to cheat on my wife." "When did you get married?" Shelby snapped back. "You know what I mean Shelby, Lisa is my life, we have been together exclusively for 10 years this Wednesday and I don't plan on ruining that for a one night stand with you. " "That's why I will pretend to be Lisa; it'll be just like it's you and her." Shelby got up from the table and took my hand. She led me to her couch and sat me down. I considered. "You may look like Lisa, but you don't sound or act like Lisa, and you don't smell like Lisa either." "How would you know how I smell?" I didn't respond. Shelby walked to the kitchen and turned off the light; she walked back into the living room and turned off the lamp. It was pitch black. I felt her sit next to me on the couch. I felt afraid. She touched my thigh. The alcohol inhibited me from moving myself or her hand (or so I'd like to believe). "Don't worry Kendra, I won't say anything, I'll be quiet, and you don't have to touch me." Her hand crept closer to my now burning hot center. "Just talk to me and tell me what Lisa would do." I didn't say anything. "Kendra, you are sexually frustrated," she continued, "anyone with eyes can see that, you need to get it out, it'll make your relationship better, and it'll make Lisa happier." She turned my body so that I lay down on the couch. She crawled between my legs and one fell to the floor. She kissed my neck and whispered in my ear. "What would Lisa do?" I grabbed her right hand and put it on my pants. She took her hint and sat up to take them off. She dropped them to the floor and went to slide my panties off. They stuck to my wet spot a little, the feeling of the detachment along was divine; I knew that I wouldn't last long. I sat up and she took of my shirt and bra. She wasted no time; she pushed me back and started pulling on one of my nipples. "No," I said, "Lisa... I mean you would cup my breast first, you would never go straight for the nipple." Lisa... I mean Shelby did as I requested. She cupped each of my breasts in her hands and squeezed. I let out a sigh as I then felt her mouth on my left nipple. It felt so damn good. My pussy started throb. Shelby felt the pulses on her stomach. Death Bed Then she broke character, stood up and took off her panties. She got back on top of me and pulled my hand to her sex. I sat up fast and snatched my hand back. "What are you doing Shelby? I thought you said that I didn't have to touch you and that you were going to pretend to be Lisa?" I asked confused. "Kendra, we both want this, just lay back and let me fuck you the way that we want to; no rules." "No, you want this, I need this, or at least I thought that I did, and not in the way that you're thinking. And they were your damn rules!" "It's too late now Kendra, you're too far into it, into me, and you're too wet to turn back now. I'm NOT stopping until you come." Shelby pushed me back down and put her pussy to mine and began humping. She moaned, I moaned. I began panting hard as I was already about to climax, I felt my stomach tightening. 1 2 3 4 5 6 rough strokes on my vagina. "You've been deprived for long enough" Shelby said breathlessly "and I love you and I'll fight you if I have to." 9 10 11. My sense came back and I pushed her off of me. I got up, tripped over the couch and busted my lip on the wall. I saw the light turn on, and it took a minute for my eyes to adjust. When they did I saw Shelby coming towards me with a rag in her hand. She tried to put it on my lip but I snatched it from her. "Don't you dare touch me Shelby." I snarled. I stood up, put on my shirt and pants, grabbed my bra, left my flip flops and walked home barefoot crying. _______________________________________ Sunday afternoon. I was sitting on the floor when Lisa came back from visiting her parents. It was cold outside and I watched her through our cracked open bedroom door. She took her coat off and threw it on the couch. I heard her sniffle, but thought that it was from the cold until she started walking towards the bedroom. I saw the tears in her eyes and the puffiness in her face. I stood to my feet. "What's wrong?" I asked lovingly. "Kendra?" "Yes?" "Our anniversary is in a few days." "I know." She looked down. I walked over to the bed and sat down. "Look Lisa, it's ok, we don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. I'm actually learning to live with it. It's ok, really." Lisa sighed, but not a sigh of relief. I looked up at her. "What Lisa? I said that it's ok; I'm not going to try to leave you. I want you; I really want to be with you. We can just enjoy our anniversary, ok?" "Kendra?" Lisa said almost too silently. The pit of my stomach hollowed, I felt my heart thump. "Yes?" I braced for bad news. Has she been cheating on me? Was she leaving ME? What did I do? Should I have not tried to live with it and kept pushing her? A million and one thoughts ran through my head in the whole minute that it took Lisa to build up the courage to come out and say it. "I know." "What?" I asked puzzled. "I know Kendra." "Know what?!" I grew upset at my confusion. "Kendra, I know. I've known for almost 3 years now what you've been doing." "Lisa, what are ..." Lisa held her hand up for me to let her finish. She burst into tears. Just then, I knew. "Lisa, I..." I sighed; I didn't know what to say. I got up and walked to her and wrapped my arms around her. She took to my embrace and then pushed me off of her. "Has it been the whole 7 years Kendra?!" She looked into my eyes. I lowered mine. She moaned and almost doubled over as that gave her an answer. "I'm so sorry baby, please" I had a long overdue epiphany, oh my gosh, this was entirely my fault. All of this time, Lisa must have been too embarrassed to say anything to me about it. How could I have been so foolish to keep up my charade and assume that it would go unnoticed. I shook myself out of my day dream and saw it in her face; hurt. Deep hurt. Her hurt was my hurt. I just loved her so much, I looked deeply into her impaired eyes and felt her; I threw up. I ran quickly to the bathroom and kneeled over the toilet incase another spew came up. Lisa rushed to my side. I knew that she loved me. There was nothing that I could do to change that. Nothing else came up so I sat on that bathroom floor with my back against the tub. Lisa knelt beside me. "So is it just me Kendra, or did you fake it with Rachelle too? It must just be me because you were super in love with her." Low blow. Why did she have to bring Rachelle up? She was my first love and that was over a decade ago. I haven't even talked to her in at least 5 years. I didn't answer her. She got up and left; I got up, followed her into the living room and pleaded my case. "Lisa, what was I supposed to do? I just wasn't able to ... come" She turned around and faced me. I grabbed both of her hands. "I didn't want to hurt you Lisa." "So you lied to me instead?!" She yelled "All of those moans, and curses, and grunts, were all lies Kendra!" She started to cry again. "No baby, those were all real! I promise you they were." "So it was just when you'd grab my hair tightly and pretend to come in my mouth that was fake." She pulled herself from my grip and walked over to and sat down on the couch. I stood in place. "What's wrong with me Kendra? Do I really suck that badly that you've been faking it for all of these years?" She looked me in the eyes. "What happened to your lip?" I ignored that question. "No baby, you're good, you're beyond good; you give me so much pleasure; I love how you make me feel." "You're lying to me again! If I make you feel so good, then why don't you come?" "I don't know baby, I can't help it, I try I really do, and you are so good, I'm frustrated myself why I don't... can't come." "Tell me; please don't lie to me Kendra." More tears flowed down her face. "I'm telling you the truth darling, please believe me. I don't know what else I'm supposed to say. When you make love to me it feels wonderful, that's why I ask for it so much. I just get nervous and am unable to come." "Nervous about WHAT Kendra?" Lisa demanded. I took a deep breath. "I don't know, nervous about everything in the moment Lisa; nervous that I won't preform to your liking, nervous about how I will look to you when I come; nervous that you won't come when I make love to you; Nervous that I won't come because I'm thinking too much; Nervous because I'm calculating everything, all of the time Lisa!" I let all of that out one big breath and burst into tears from the emotional labor of letting her in on my most intimate secret. Lisa grabbed my face and kissed me. My eyes shot open so wide that I thought that they would fall out of my skull. She kissed me hard and deeply. I relaxed and almost melted into the floor. She felt me slipping and wrapped one arm around my body to keep up upright. I felt her tongue run across my bottom lip requesting access to the inside of my mouth. Access granted. I opened my mouth and felt her tongue run across my teeth. I woke my tongue up to greet her tongue the utmost hospitality. I was nervous that my kissing wouldn't be good enough. Lisa sensed my hesitation and broke our kiss. "Honey, please, trust me, I love you, there is nothing that you can do that will make me love you any less. You are an excellent kisser, lover and girlfriend. I know that you love me and I understand now what is going on with you. Please relax and take me." I nodded my head, got up, reached for her hand and lead her to our second bedroom. We stood in front of the bed and undressed each other. I took a step back and took in her form. She was so beautiful that she confused my senses; I could have sworn that my ears could smell her; my nose could hear her, my mouth could see her and my eyes could taste her. She walked towards me until her soft feet were on top of mine. I felt the heat radiating from her pussy to the insides of my thighs. She was burning down there; it had to be at least 104 degrees. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately; I felt my knees buckle a little. I put my trembling hand to the small of her back and gently pulled her further into me. She felt the tremble in my hand and once again broke our kiss. "Why are you shaking my baby? Do you not believe that I love you, and that you please me more than anyone else could?" "I know baby, I'm trying not to be nervous but it feels like it's the first time again, I just want everything to be perfect." A tear left my eye. "It will be perfect my love, trust me," Lisa's eyes exuded love and lust and I fell into her gaze heart first. I felt myself relax a little. She wrapped her arm back around my neck and kissed my tear. I sat down and lied back on the bed. I felt a string of her wetness on my leg as she lied on top of me. A small moan escaped my mouth. She looked into my eyes and smiled. I smiled back, semi-nervously. She cocked her head to the side and started kissing on my neck. She kissed it some more, and then pressed her lips to it and opened her mouth to let her tongue out. It was so hot and wet; it felt so good. I began melting into the bed. Lisa felt me and she snickered into my neck. I reached down and popped her butt. She bit my neck! It hurt but it also felt so damn good. I tilted my head back begging for more; I put my hand gently on the back of her head and tangled my fingers in her hair. She was so talented, she slid her tongue to the other side of my next, I could feel her love by the way that she sucked on my neck. It was so delicate but strong; so passionate. She began to squirm, she needed me. I gained a little more confidence. I untangled my hand from her hair and rubbed my hands down her back and back up again. "Oh, that feels good baby." I kissed her lips and rolled her over; I kissed her forehead and took a second to look into her eyes. "Please," She begged. I said nothing, just gazed into her eyes. "I need you, please don't hesitate Kendra," She said sounding somewhere in between lust and crying. "I'm not hesitating baby; I'm just taking my time with you." I smiled. "But I need you now! Please" She said this time with only lust. I slid down and started kissing her belly; I licked, sucked and nipped her belly right above her mound. She began singing and her stomach began twitching. I suddenly felt her hands pushing my head down and her hips rising, searching for my mouth. I avoided it and put my nose down to breathe her in deeply. I must have gotten my nose too close that I grazed her because a sharp pain filled my nose and my eyes began to tear. "Ouch!" I gasped and I popped my head up and held my nose. "Oooh I'm sorry honey," Lisa sat up, smiled, moved my hands and kissed my nose. "I'm just so excited!" She said lying back down. "I get it baby, but try not to buck so much ok, that really hurt," I said as a pain tear dripped down my cheek. "Yes Ma'am, just hurry up; please! I haven't had sex in almost 3 years! We have our anniversary night to take it slowly; I want it now and fast baby please!" She growled. I've never heard her do that before. I wiped the tear away and gave my lady what she wanted. I went back to the danger zone and gave her sex a kiss. She bucked; and hard, just like she agreed not to. I jumped back up in fear and decided to straddle her. I looked down at her and she shrugged with a little sorry on her face and a lot of lust. I spread her legs open and held them in place. I lowered my pussy to hers so slowly that she glared angrily at me. But I had to take my time so that she wouldn't go crazy receiving it all at once and hurt me or even more hurt herself. Finally I was set in place, I felt Lisa grinding under me. She was desperately trying to get herself off on me. I began moving. I knew that I was good at this, I rotated my hips; I danced my pussy into hers; she gasped and looked past my eyes and dead into my soul. I let go of one of her legs and it fell to the bed. I slowed my grinding and grabbed my lips and spread them open. "Lisa, don't buck Ok? If you do, you will hurt me." She nodded in agreement and I saw in her face that she really meant it this time. I let her other leg go, reached down and opened her lips. I pulled the hood of my clit back and then hers. I angled myself so that I could press my clit to hers. They were both so wet and slippery from our hornieness. Lisa's stomach clenched, but she didn't buck. I began to move. Our pink clits slid smoothly and against each other; it was so silky and it felt so damn good; I felt myself about to climax for the first time with Lisa. I picked up the pace. 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 I counted my thrusts in my head. "Oh my! Kendra! I'm going to come!" "Not yet baby! I'm going to come too just give me a second." "Ok baby, I'll try!" I saw Lisa's face painfully trying to hold back her orgasm. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes and increased my speed. I felt it teetering in and out and I grabbed it. "Oh my god Lisa, baby, I'm coming, I'm coming!!" "Me too!! Ride me baby!!" Lisa screamed and I burst! I let the orgasm completely take hold of me. I contracted, spasmed, and clenched my teeth. I opened my eyes to see Lisa smiling and grimacing as I rode my orgasm out. I realized that she was too sensitive and I stopped moving the best that I could. I couldn't stop twitching so I decided to get off of her. I rolled off and a string of mixed wetness stretched from my sex, over my thigh, on the bed, on her thigh and to her sex. I turned onto my side and put my leg and arm on her as she lied on her back with her eyes closed and a smile on her face. I smiled too. I kissed her ribs and her breast. "How did you know baby?" I asked looking up at her. She opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. "I was just wondering when you were going to ask me that." "One night after you had what I thought was a 'big orgasm' and you claimed to pass out I woke up at the sound of you moaning, I opened my eyes and saw you giving yourself a fierce fingering. It shocked, confused and upset me a little. So I started paying attention every time after we were done making love; you did it every time. At first I thought that you were still just turned on and didn't want to beg me for more, so I started trying to make sure that you came twice. And even though you did 'come' twice I would still pretend to sleep to make sure and I'd see you still going at it alone." Tears started falling from both of our eyes. I tried to count all of hers but my eyes were too blurry to see. "I felt horrible; I thought that you were cheating on me so I followed you to and from work. I saw you meeting a lady in the bar and I watched you two carefully. Once I ruled out cheating, I started paying attention to how you would come. I did some research and looked up how to tell if your girlfriend really is having an orgasm. I noticed that your pussy wouldn't grab my fingers as it should; I noticed that your legs weren't vibrating and I noticed that your stomach muscles weren't clenching. It hit me hard Kendra, almost as if you had actually been cheating on me. I lost all my drive and I didn't want to make love to you because I felt inadequate. You were giving me these long hard beautiful orgasms, and I wasn't giving you anything in that department. I shut down sexually." I sat up and looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry Lisa, I honestly didn't want to hurt you and I was getting pleasure from both pleasing you and you pleasing me. All that was missing was an orgasm, and I figured that if I had to get that on my own then so be it. I would still have you and we... I was happy" She sniffled. "After you started shutting me down, I went mad. I sometimes I pondered telling you but since we weren't making love anymore, I thought that it would sound like I was taking a shot at you." Lisa nodded in understanding. "I'm exhausted baby," I looked up at Lisa. "Well you're about to be even more exhausted because I'm not done with you." Lisa got up and slid down between my legs. She unleashed her tongue and worked for every bit of pussy grabbing, stomach crunching, leg vibrating and something that she didn't expect girl juice, that she got. I was spent. Wednesday we decided to throw our anniversary plans out of the window and stay home and make love all day and all night. I now had a profound awareness of exactly how much Lisa loved me as our bodies cried together in an emotional entanglement of love. I felt things that we humans have no words for; feelings so strong that my heart needed to use my soul as an amplifier or my brain wouldn't receive the message. I now know not to ever lie to my Lisa, not to ever take her for granted or sell her short. I have to have faith in her as my girlfriend, as my partner, as my wife. I love her so much! ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ "Please don't wear any panties today baby. I want you to be my I've got something special planned for you today after work." Lisa said to me as she put her arms around my neck and gave me a small kiss on the lips. I agreed. She left. I got dressed and went to an uneventful day of work. By the time 2:00 rolled around I checked my email and I had one from Lisa. "Hi honey, meet me at the strip bar on 52nd and St. Nicholas at 2 3 4 5pm. ;-)" ¬ Lisa knew that I didn't like strip bars, I don't know why she would tell me to meet here at one. I am not happy with this. I grabbed my keys and called a cab for the 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 blocks to the strip bar. I wore my anger on my face the whole ride. I wondered if I would have to go in there alone or if Lisa would be there in time. I wondered if she was going to make me sit there and watch the dirty strippers or even worse make me get a lap dance from one. The cab pulled up to the bar, I paid him and got out. I felt so stupid; so dirty. I heard the music thumping from outside. I walked inside and saw a few people watching the couple of strippers that were doing their rounds on the poles. I saw Lisa sitting in a deep red satin robe talking to a man at the bar; she smiled, got up, and walked over to me when she saw me. "Hi baby," She said with a huge grin. I smelled the alcohol on her breath. She handed me a shot glass with vodka, no raspberry. I threw my head back and drank it anyway. "Hello," I said sternly. "Don't act like that Kendra, it's not what you think." I felt a little better reassuring myself that she loved me too much to make me do something that I despised. I let out a small smirk of relief. She grabbed my hand and led me to a room in the back. The room was small but comfortable for us two. It had a black leather love seat, a pole, go figure, and a couple of side tables. The lighting was really low, but there was enough not to have to strain my eyes. "Sit," Lisa said to me "Um... how do you know that it's clean?" "Well first, they clean it after every guest, and secondly, I gave it a really good wipe down when I got here," She smiled "now sit. " I did as I was told; she knows me so well. The music was a little quieter in here. I had my eyes on Lisa the whole time. She walked to her bag in the corner of the room and fidgeted with something and turned around and met my gaze. She stood up and started walking towards me; my palms grew sweaty. About half of the way to me she untied the robe and let it fall to her bare feet. She had on exactly what she knew I loved the most; nothing. I was starting to feel a tiny buzz from my drink and relaxed a little into the loveseat. She walked to the couch and straddled me; she began moving her hips to the music. She was so elegant and such a good dancer. She stood up on the couch and grabbed the back of my head. Still dancing she got her sex close to my face. My heart felt like it stopped. I took a quick deep breath and held it. I smelled something familiar but I my brain was a little, well very impaired at the moment so I couldn't identify it. She was so sexy. I reached up and grabbed her backside to pull her closer. She jumped down and wiggled her finger.