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Dawn Of A New Day

By: aacool



We had been waiting a long time for this morning. The explanations, the fights, the defensive reactions, the loving, the caring, the passion - the worth of it all could not be measured in material terms. Annette and I knew that come what might, this morning, and the event that lay ahead would change not just our lives, but the lives of every American, and in time, human society.

We had been making plans for two months. Annette's parents would attend, while I couldn't believe my luck - my ex-husband, Sam was coming. He had been pretty nice about it all - he even joked that he wouldn't mind giving his own wife away. When I told him that Annette and I were getting married, come May, he had laughed and said that we deserved it, especially after what he had put me through when I told him I loved another woman.

Our friends would be there of course. Many of them had ceremonies of their own to attend. We had planned a small celebration in the evening with Jack & his prospective spouse, a college professor from Illinois, who had moved to Cambridge five years ago. I knew Jack from my days with Sam, when Jack was the out-and-out gay in our group. I couldn't believe I had even joked about it. That was before I discovered my own feelings, and before I discovered Annette. 

We were all good friends now. The last couple of years had been good all around. A lot of the old animosities had died down as the people who mattered in my life had come to accept my preferences. I could even go into the local public houses with Annette, and be served without a smirk from the regulars. Not that we didn't face some unpleasantries. In fact, since the judgment, some people who had earlier seemed non-committal came out against us. I didn't blame them, but I didn't expect them to understand.

We were going to the clerk's office, then straight to the courthouse to get a waiver on the traditional 3-day waiting period, and then back again for the actual civil ceremonies. I couldn't wait. I was wearing a dress that I had selected at Lord's. It was mauve silk, with a velvet lining. Annette was wearing a special dress her parents had got her. I hadn't seen it yet. Our friends were dressing her up. I had elected to dress myself. For some reason, I wanted to be alone this morning.

I wiped a tear and proceeded to the shower. I prepared myself for my bride. We had abstained from sex for a month now, promising to make it up to each other in the days and nights ahead. I felt a tingle run through my body as I imagined our life ahead. I let my fingers run down my belly and across my vagina, as I imagined Annette caressing me, a woman, a love and a wife. A smile crossed my face at that last thought. 

I dried myself off, and got dressed. I was wearing pale blue garters and a matching set of underwear, white heels and stockings. Annette and I had visited a spa earlier this week, separately of course. The women at the spa had laughed and said they were twice as busy this wedding season. I could imagine - not a few people would be queuing at the courthouse in the weeks to come.

Once ready, I took a look at myself in the mirror. I saw a thirty-seven year old white blonde, 5'9", with a good body, if I said so myself. I took a deep breath and stepped out to face the brave new world. 

I drove to the Cambridge Courthouse on Thorndike St. I smiled to myself, when I remembered that I had met Annette at the Galleria Mall, not far away. I was shopping for shoes when I met her. She had complimented me on my taste, and we had ended up having lunch together. I still don't know if she intended to seduce me, but in a week, I was driving to Beacon Hill for my first-ever infidelity and that too, with a woman. I had had the occasional flirtation before, but never anything serious. She had been a gentle lover, and taught me more than I imagined possible about the pleasures of the body, heart and soul.

As I drove on, I reminisced about that first time, when I truly became a woman, and when I found a new love. She had drawn me into her home, touching me by the fingertips. I followed, spellbound by this beautiful woman, who made me feel like a sixteen-year old again. She had handed me a slender glass of wine, and indicated the plush loveseat by the bay window. I settled in, looking up at her, and smiling. She remained standing, but moved closer and gently moved a few errant hairs off my forehead.

"What am I doing here," I had mused. "You are a woman, and I am married."

"Then why don't you leave?"

"I can't - I want to be here - with you. I want - you."

At that, she had lowered herself beside me and started kissing my face. I turned and let her feel my willing lips. She pulled me closer. Her tongue ran across my mouth, demanding entry. I opened my mouth and it slipped in. I felt her soft breasts brushing against mine. She was wearing a loose caftan. I slipped my hand in and felt her breasts hanging free. At my touch she leaned back and let my hands unfasten her sash. As it fell away, the caftan opened, giving me my first look at her warm body. She was all woman, her breasts were full and I could feel a soft belly. I climbed over her and began kissing her forcefully, letting my fingers do the talking. She responded in kind, making me squirm in pleasure. I could feel her fingers reaching up my skirt and inserting themselves beneath my panties. I was wet and ready. I came for the first time as she touched me. It wasn't the last, not by a long shot.

We had carried out an afternoon affair for a year. She was an author, and as I reminded myself often in the first months, I was a WASP soccer mom, not a dyke. It finally hit me how much I cared for her when she fell terribly ill that winter. I had spent many nights caring for her, changing wet towels and applying them to her forehead. Sam knew we were friends. He told me later he had even suspected we were more than that once or twice, but never truly believed it. The next spring, I had finally made up my mind. It broke my heart to tell Sam I was leaving him. We had had a good life together. He did not neglect me, but I wanted something else. 

I felt a tear cross my cheeks as I pulled the car into the parking lot of the courthouse. We were going to park there and go to the town hall together. I saw Annette standing on the steps with her parents. She looked positively radiant, with a pale green dress, her hair made up high, and a bouquet of flowers in her hands.

I kissed her, and her parents. They were wonderful people. We had spent last winter with them in Florida, and I felt a special affection for her mother who had taken to me instantly. I felt a pang of regret that my own parents were not with us. I knew that many battles still lay ahead of us, but quickly put that thought behind me.

We got into her van and set off for the clerk's office. The parking lot was almost full, and it was only eight in the morning. I could see many couples we knew, and some were already leaving. Things must have started early today. 

The clerk was a pleasant lady in her forties who quickly issued us the necessary forms relating to the intention to marry. Then it was back to the judge's chambers for the waiver. Before I knew it, I was signing my name in the clerk's register, Annette by my side. 

"You may kiss the bride, or is that the brides", said the clerk with a laugh, as I signed. I turned to Annette, and felt her gripping my hand tightly. There was a hush in the room, as if we were in a distant space. I could hear noises all about, but somehow this was our moment, and we were determined to make the most of it.

Annette and I embraced, as her parents and Sam threw some confetti at us. We then took our first kiss as married people. It had a special poignancy to it. I knew I would remember it for a long time to come. Then we posed for pictures in our bridal gowns. I could see many people doing the same around us. The halls were crowded with happy and gay people, pun intended. Applause was all that could be heard. There were black, white, Asian, Christian, Buddhist, humanists all.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of congratulations and photographs. I could feel Annette by my side throughout. In the evening, we dressed each other up, stealing many loving caresses as we did so. The party was a blast. The restaurant was filled with celebratory couples. Jack and Ignatius were looking marvelous, dressed in matching suits from J.A.Banks. We made promises to have each other over soon.

Soon I was on the steps of Annette's Beacon Hill home, my home now too. She smiled at me and led me in. We closed the door behind us. We walked to the bedroom, not talking, just savoring the feeling. I took my shoes off and watched Annette with a loving smile.

As she undressed, my eyes drifted over her body. I could see her pink, erect nipples through the cups of her white lace bra. She was looking at me too. Needless to say, I was very nervous. Although, we had been naked together too many times to count, she was still a sight to behold. To change the mood, I put on a CD.

Still in her lingerie, she stepped into my arms. I had taken my bra off, but was wearing my panties. We danced close together. I put my hands on her hips. She nestled her head on my shoulder. I was taller, and loved it when she did that. I began to move my body against hers. I reached behind her and unhooked her bra. She moved back slightly and let it fall away. I felt her breasts slide against mine. 

"Sweetheart, lover, lover, lover - we are together now. My dearest wife." she murmured, as her hands slipped down and began to slide my panties off.

"Dearest wife, this is the best feeling I have ever had in my life." I breathed into her ears. I let my tongue toy around her earlobes. I knew she liked that.

She squirmed in pleasure and squeezed me hard. She groaned as she pushed against my naked body. She was dancing to a different beat now. I knew her body well, and felt an orgasm building. I continued to hold her close, kissing her neck and ears. I moved my left hand to her thighs, and slipped my fore and index fingers into her sopping wet cunt. She groaned and burst into a shudder of orgasm. I felt her fingers thrust into my own cunt, bringing me to the edge.

She shook against me, and I felt wetness against our thighs. She pulled away then and fell back against the welcoming sheets. I could feel a reservoir of unused sexual energy building within me. My knees buckled and I fell to the floor before her legs.

She lifted me and we moved onto the bed. She rolled to her side and took me into her welcoming arms. We hugged each other. I could see tears running down her face. I knew my face was wet too. We kissed each other's tears away. These were tears of joy, and pleasure. They were tears for all the women, and men, who had loved and lost, and then loved again. 

The night never seemed to end. We pleasured each other in so many ways. We disdained any of our toys this night. It was a night for our bodies to experience a flowering that I knew was being replicated across the state this night.

Satiated, we finally rolled off each other, but slept holding each other close. The morning would dawn, as it must, and we would be changed, as was the world.

Dawn of a New Day



It had been several months since I began my new job. After taking nearly 10 years to raise my children to an age where I felt comfortable re entering the working world, I found that much had changed since the last time I was employed. I'll give you a little of my background so that you can understand my story a better. 

My name is Dawn and I'm a 30 year old divorcee with 2 lovely daughters. I met my husband less than 2 years after I graduated from high school. Having always been mature for my age, I chose a man quite a few years older than me, thinking we would have more in common than the younger guys closer to my age. Of course, I later found that this was foolish and flawed logic. 

When Michael and I met, the newness of being in love carried us through the first six months or so. The 'or so' happened when I found out I was pregnant. I have to give it to him, he was a thrilled and devoted father. However, this it meant whatever dreams I had of having the career I wanted were momentarily obliterated. At first, I had mixed feelings. I was overjoyed at the thought of carrying our first child-the result of the love we shared for each other. On the other hand, I was a little less than thrilled at the thought of putting y life on hold. Eventually the joy of being the mother of Michael's child won out and I happily carried our first child to term. A few days before Christmas, our daughter Nicole was born. 

When Nikki was 4 months old, I broached the subject of me returning to work. For the first time, I saw Mike lose his temper. HIs response was a resounding, "Hell no!" And he went on to explain that he didn't trust ANY daycare with his baby. He said that I was her mother and it was my responsibility to be the nurturer in our family. Inside I rebelled, outwardly I thought that I could placate him for the moment and try the subject again with him later. 

Later turned out to be a year and a half. What made that year and a half a living hell was the fact that HE never stopped going out or living like a single man. 

Why put up with it? I'll try tell you. I had never known another man besides him. I didn't want to be one of those women whose marriage had failed. I thought it meant something to be married to the man whose child I bore. There were many reasons at the time, but looking back I don't see one that could make me want to ever do it again. I'm not soured on marriage, just the thought of staying with a man for the wrong reasons. Anyway, back to the story...

The second time I tried to put the subject of starting a career to Mike was at breakfast right before Nikki's second birthday. I opened my mouth and had to rush to the bathroom before I could even get the sentence out of my mouth. I cried as I emptied the contents of my stomach. The only time I ever got sick in the morning was when I was pregnant. While washing my mouth out, I heard Mike enter the bathroom. 

"Are you okay, Dawn?" he asked. 

I glanced his way for a second. "What do you think?"

In my mind I was mentally tallying the number of days that I was overdue for my period. The days eventually turned out to be 2 months. I moaned and closed my eyes. "I think I'm pregnant again."

He let out a loud whoop and came to embrace me tightly. "Maybe this time it'll be a boy!"

I just stared at him. "I'm not ready to do this again. I'm just starting to look halfway decent again and I really want to start my career."

To this day, I'll never forget his response to that. He just brushed it off with, "Oh you're young, you'll have plenty of time to have a career when the kids are grown."

Prior to that day, I had never cursed. "Motherfu-!!!!" He smothered my response with a kiss then walked out of the bathroom to tell Nikki that she was going to have a baby brother. 

He left shortly after that and returned late that night. All the time he was gone my mind turned over and over. Once again, I was faced with having to put my life on hold. Don't get me wrong. I love my children dearly and always have. But at that moment,. I felt completely trapped. I didn't want to lose my husband even though he treated me like a brood mare. I wanted my children to grow up knowing their father and mother and not have to deal with the difficulty of having their parents living separately. Though the more I tried to 'be reasonable' the less appealing it was than the first time. 

The second pregnancy went easier than the first, but I began to notice things about Mike that I hadn't before. Honestly, other than work and sex, he did nothing to make our relationship worth maintaining. This was brought to my attention by one of the least likely people. His own mother. During my seventh month of pregnancy, my mother came for a visit. 

Never known for restraint, her first comment was, "You look like hell."

I tried to smile as if she were joking, but she didn't return it. Having no one else to confide in, I told her how I felt. 

When I finished, she was quiet for a moment and said, "The jackass is just like his father. He saw the hell I went through with that man and still turns out to be just like him."

I stared at her in bewilderment. 

She sighed, and asked, "What did he say about the relationship between his father and I?"

I thought for a moment. "He said that you two were happy and he wanted a marriage just like it."

She snorted, "Bullshit! That man was the king of all bastards and if I could get away with digging him up, kicking his ass and burying him again I would."

I'm sure you could imagine my surprise. 

"When he first brought you home to meet me, I was hoping he wasn't up to the same thing his father was by marrying such a young woman. His father did the same to me, hoping to be able to mold me into what he wanted and keeping me from having a life by keeping me barefoot and pregnant."

All I could do was blink. 

"Stop staring at me like a damned owl, girl.Listen to what I have to say. I love my son...never doubt it. But I don't condone anyone doing wrong. I damned sure don't want to see anyone go through the hell I went through with that boy's father. If you intend to stay married, fine. But I suggest you get on some kind of birth control. If you don't, you'll be pregnant from now until the day you leave either him or this world."

"But Sadie, he told me he didn't believe in birth control."

She looked at me as if I had sprouted horns. "Is he your fucking gynecologist?? I liked you when I met you because I knew that you had a mind of your own. What happened to it?" Before I could answer, she continued. "When was the last time he asked you how you felt about having a brood of children? When was the last time he asked you what you want to do with YOUR life?"

I had no answer for her because we both knew he never had and probably never would. Feeling worse than what I had before she came, I lowered my gaze. 

She caught my chin and raised it til we were eye to eye again. "Honey, I'm not telling you these things to try to make you feel bad, but you need to think about these things. I see a bright,beautiful young woman with the ability to do anything she wants in life. I just don't want to see you let someone, even if it is my son, take that away from you. If nothing else, think about that beautiful daughter you have. Do you want her to think it's alright to let someone run over her and dash any dreams she'll ever have to hell?"

Now she really had my attention. 

She glanced at the clock on the wall and told me she had to get going. But before she left she gave me one last piece of advice. "Do something with yourself. You're too pretty to let anything and anyone bring you down to the point that you don't care about your appearance." With that, she kissed me on the cheek and left. 

I closed the door behind her and went to check on Nikki. She was still napping as I mulled over all that Sadie had said to me during her visit. Walking absently into the bathroom, I stopped in front of the mirror. I barely recognized the person I saw there. My once bright and exuberant face had changed. I had dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep. The baby didn't keep me up much, but the many nights of waiting for Mike to return safely home did. Sometimes I waited up til nearly 4 in the morning. Like last night...

I remember asking myself, what's happening to me? What was happening to my marriage? What had happened to my ambition?

All three questions had the same answer...MIKE.

What to do...hmmm.

I gazed at my reflection again with a half smile.



Dawn of a New Day Pt. 02



After singing 'Happy Birthday', I helped my nine year old daughter Nikki blow out the candles on her pink and white iced cake. Her younger sister Michelle giggled delightedly as I began cutting the cake. Yet again, my husband Mike had called to say that he would be working late and that he wouldn't be able to make it to another of the children's birthday parties.

I didn't think it was natural that the kids were learning to function and grow without their father's presence. One of the reasons I had originally stayed with him was for the sake of our children growing up with him in their lives. Now it seemed the exact opposite was happening. After 10 years of marriage, I knew that there was someone else. I had even confronted him with it. Of course, he denied it, but lipstick that wasn't mine and the smell of another woman's cloying perfume didn't lie. I don't think that love for him was even an issue anymore. Fear of the unknown, not knowing if I could ever be happy with anyone else or trust any other man around my precious children, my daughters, kept me from even thinking about moving on and trying to find love and happiness. 

I had taken my mother's advice about birth control. As soon as Michelle was born, I decided that at least I had control over my own body. It's not that I didn't want more children, I just didn't want more immediately. I wanted to be able to offer the 2 I already had the very best I had to offer. Lately, I'd started to think about being able to provide for them if the worst happened. To me that meant Mike leaving me. After being without a job for so long, how would I be able to provide for the kids and myself? His name was on everything...where would we live? 

Sex was a thing of the past for me. Since Mike was getting his needs met elsewhere, I couldn't bring myself to let him touch me. I was thankful that he didn't try to force me on the rare occasions he actually wanted it, but he would also use my reluctance as an excuse to continue doing what he was doing. After a while, I just didn't care anymore. We lived separate lives most of the time...almost like roommates. He paid the bills, I took care of the house and the kids. 

It hurt to see the gap growing between us. The man that I had loved so deeply was becoming a stranger to me. I didn't know how much longer we could keep the farce of our marriage up. Well, I was about to find out. 

One day Mike came in with some papers in his hands. 

"Dawn, we need to talk."

From the serious look in his eyes, I knew it couldn't be anything I really wanted to hear. I tried to stall him for a moment. 

"I'm cooking right now, can't it wait?"

He sighed. "No it can't. It's already waited long enough. Now come have a seat."

I tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach as I joined him at the dining room table. "What is it?"

He laid the paper that he had been carrying on the table in front of me. I looked down at them. I didn't feel surprise when I saw that they were divorce papers. What I felt was dread and the worst sort of betrayal.

"I want you to sign these. Things haven't been right between us for a while now and I don't see any need in going on pretending."

While I recognized I didn't love him anymore, my mind flew back over every opportunity he could have put forth some kind of effort to help keep us from reaching the point we'd come to. I could feel anger beginning to simmer within me. 

"Why now?" I asked him with a calmness I really didn't feel at the moment. 

He looked down at the papers before answering. "Is it really necessary to get into all this?"

"If you want me to sign these damned papers, you'd better start talking. I've devoted my life to you and our children for the last 6 years. I think you owe me this much. Talk."

Any other day, when he became belligerent, I would back down. Of course, he tried it. 

He raised his voice slightly, saying, "I don't owe you a damned thing. I pay the bills around here..." And that was as far as he got. 

Still simmering on the inside, I stood up, walked around the table and slapped the hell out of him. I heard the loud, satisfying crack as my hand made contact with his face and I watched dispassionately as his head snapped back. I turned and walked back to my chair. 

Once seated again, I told him, "You will not raise your voice to me again. I'll sign the papers when, and only when, you answer my question."

Rubbing his cheek and staring at me as if I was someone he'd never seen before, he asked, "What the hell has gotten into you?"

"For the moment I'm your wife, asshole. So tell me why you've decided to ask for a divorce now."

I could feel nothing but coldness within me. Amazingly, not the cold rage one would expect after thinking about all that I had missed and had been denied. What I felt was a mixture of peace and the desire to see him squirm. Which after a moment, he had begun to do. 

Shifting in his seat and still unable to meet my eyes, he began speaking. "I don't know where to start..."

I tilted my head a little to the left, watching him closely. "Hmmm. I did everything you asked me to do. Even putting my career on hold to raise the children the way you wanted. I've been the one raising them-me and me alone. You have been doing the same thing you were doing before we met. So it can't be the burden of having to help raise the kids. I've never denied you in any way at all. So what is it?"

He cleared his throat. "I don't know. I guess I just miss being single..."

I felt one of my brows raise. "Oh really?"

He just looked at me, clearly expecting an outburst after my previous display of temper. 

I smiled and asked him, "Then why didn't you just say so?"

If ever a man resembled an owl, it was Mike at that moment. Then his eyes narrowed with suspicion. "What do you mean? Are you seeing someone else?"

Nope but I should have thought about that earlier.

Avoiding the question, I told him, "This is about you and what you want...as usual. You want a divorce, you gave me half of what I wanted to know. Now tell me the rest. Who and when?"

"If you're going to give me what I want, I see no harm in telling you the rest. I met Alicia six months after we got married at Darren's birthday party. She's fun, she keeps me interested and we want to get married."

Okay.

He wanted to marry a bitch he had been screwing since our sixth month of marriage.

So much for peace. 

Unfortunately for him, he took my silence as acceptance, so he continued. "We have a little boy a month younger than Nikki."

Now he was telling me that he had another child outside our marriage. Humph.

I would cry later. At the moment, I was eyeing his golf clubs sitting so neatly in their bag only 3 feet away with relish.

He glance down at his hands and I reached for the nearest club with lightening speed. Before he realized what was happening, I had already struck him twice in the shoulder (though I recall aiming for his head).

"WHAT THE FUCK...YOU CRAZY BITCH!!!!!"

The more he tried to grab the club and keep his balance in the chair, the harder I would swing. Finally, the chair tipped over and he managed to roll away and up to his feet, still retreating, trying to avoid my swing. 

I could hear my own harsh breathing, feel the tears sting my eyes, as I chased him to the door. He ran out but I didn't bother to try to follow him. Instead, I dropped the club, closed the door and locked it. 

As I slid to the floor, all the tears I'd held inside for years began to flow.

Chapter 2