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Britt

By: hunterwren



Sam saw her first, when she was moving in, and then later at the coffee shop down the road. Sam was unemployed, picking up a bartending job now and then, but she'd been hanging around the apartment pretty much every day for a month. I was working an office job in downtown and every day after work I would look forward to Sam's telling me about her day, which seemed to involve nothing more than watching TV, surfing the 'net and getting off, going to the gym and "stalking" our new neighbor. And then, finally, I saw her up close. She was beautiful. A tall brunette with an incredible body. She looked very strong, yet very feminine, with exotic features; very high cheekbones and large brown eyes and gorgeous olive skin. I walked by her while picking up our mail. We made eye contact and she smiled as we passed each other.

"She's an actress," she said. "At least she's trying to be. I think she strips."

"So what else is new?"

"She's nice."

A couple of weeks went by and a funny thing happened. Our lovemaking became more often and more passionate; Sam became more interested in eating my pussy, and suddenly wanted me to fuck her with my strap-on. We spend hours in bed kissing and holding each other, making each other cum until we were exhausted. It occurred to me that Britt had something to do with it. I know that both of us talked about what she would be like in bed and it reminded us of how we had met, at a college bar, surrounded by women who wanted us. We had a hard time making friends, so many women were jealous of us for one reason or another, and our previous relationships had ended badly. Sam predicted that it was a matter of time before we hung out with her and she warned me that something might happen.

It was at the end of a hard workweek for me when I finally met Britt. I was getting groceries at the nearby market when I heard a voice say hello. It was she. We were in the liquor aisle and she was trying to decide on a white wine. "I'm Britt," she said. "We haven't actually met."

"I know," I said. "I've seen you around the neighborhood."

"I just moved here. I live on the other side of the complex."

"You know my girlfriend Sam. She met you at the café."

"Oh yes. She's really nice."

I helped her pick a couple of bottles of white and then we left the store together and walked back to my car. She had walked to the store so I offered her a ride. "So do you and Sam have anything fun planned for this weekend?"

"No, we're pretty boring. Maybe rent a couple of movies. We don't go out much, not really into the bar scene around here, although Sam is bartending tomorrow night."

Britt looked disappointed. "Oh," she said. "I actually have tomorrow night off. I was going to ask you guys if you wanted to come over."

"Well I'm free," I said. 

Britt smiled. "Great," she said.

I dropped her off in front of her place and we exchanged cell phone numbers. I didn't think anything of it, I just thought that I had, we had made a new friend. She didn't seem like she was into girls or anything, but when I got home and told Sam, she had a lot to tell me.

"She's into girls," she said.

"How do you know Sam?"

"She told me."

"When?"

I ran into her at the café. We talked for a couple of minutes. She moved here from Las Vegas. Just got out of a relationship there."

"How come you didn't tell me this before?"

"This all happened this morning. I ran into her my run."

"Uh huh." 

It was all very weird. Sam running into her and finding out her whole life story in just a few minutes. But I let it go. We wound up renting a pretty bad movie, so we turned it off and took a shower together and wound up having another night of incredible sex. 

The next day, Sam and I ran together. We took a route that was unfamiliar to me and wound up running through the shopping area. Sam pointed out a club that we had drove by a million times, but had never noticed. "She dances there," she said.

"Uh huh," I said. The place looked kind of sleazy, but I was fascinated. After Sam left for work, I did a search online and came up with a website for it. That's when I saw that Britt actually had posed nude for some magazines and websites. I looked at some of the photos and began to get turned on. I put my hand down my pants and played with my clit. Suddenly my phone rang. It was Britt. I made plans to meet her at her place in a couple of hours and when I put the phone down, and after hearing her sexy voice on top of looking at her nude online, I had to finish what I started. I took off my jeans and lay down on my bed and played with myself until I came. Then I took a shower and spent a couple of hours picking out a skirt and top.

Britt met me at the door. She was wearing her tank top and skirt and was barefoot. She had pretty feet. I kicked off my sandals and followed her to the living room. Her apartment was smaller than ours, but she had a lot of really nice pieces. And I immediately noticed a large black and white nude portrait of her above the sofa. She handed me a glass of wine and we sat on the couch and talked. She had the most beautiful smile and the cutest laugh and I found myself becoming more intoxicated by her presence as we talked. Soon the discussion became more personal.

"So you're into girls?"

"Of course," she said. 

"Sam said that you have a girlfriend in Las Vegas."

"Sort of," she said. "We see each other when we can"

"That's nice.

"But when it comes to sex, I have a huge appetite. Since I've been here I've had a couple of lovers, but no one serious. And I hate going to bars."

"Me too."

"Sam's really cute. How long have you two been together?"

"Four years."

"That's a long time."

"Yeah."

"So when did you decide that you wanted to cheat on her?"

"Cheat on her?"

"Well, that's why you came over, isn't it?"

I swallowed hard. My heart began to beat. "I guess."

"Uh huh."

"Uh huh."

She moved closer and took one of my hands and kissed it. "You're really beautiful," she said.

"So are you."

"First time I saw you I knew I had to have you."

"Me too."

Then, finally, we kissed. She followed my tongue with hers and soon we were furiously making out on her couch. 

"You feel good," she said.

"So do you," I said.

She pulled off her tank top and lay down on the couch. I got on top of her and felt her hard nipples against mine. I moved my hand down her thighs and under her skirt and rubbed her pussy through her panties. She moaned and shoved her tongue deeper into my mouth. 

"It's been a while," I whispered.

"Since what?" she asked.

"Someone new."

"I'll be gentle."

"I hope not."

She wrapped her legs around mine and took my head in her hands, devouring me with her lips and tongue, licking my teeth and biting my lips as we caressed. Then she pulled off my t-shirt and we pressed our breasts together and held each other tighter. I kissed her neck and nibbled on her ear. "My clit is throbbing," she said.

"Oh yeah?" I said.

"What are you going to do about that?" 

"Make it feel better."

I pulled off her skirt and buried my face in her pussy. She had a well-trimmed bush, and her large brown pussy lips and I began to play with them with my lips and tongue.

"You like my pussy?" she asked.

"Love it," I said.

"My gynecologist says I have a tall vagina."

I laughed. She took her hand and cradled my head as I licked her again. 

"That's good," she said. "Like that."

I took her into my mouth and teased it with my lips, sucking slightly and nibbling gently. She moaned again and her back arched. "MMMMMM," she said. "You like my pussy."

"Love your pussy."

I went at her harder now and her breathing became more intense. "Don't stop," she said. "Don't fucking stop."

She began to buckle under me and moaned again, taking my hand in hers as she came, squeezing it hard as she moaned. Then she took me into her arms and we kissed and held each other. 

"Let's go to the bedroom," she said

"Sure."

We got up and she took my hand and we walked through the kitchen into her room. She turned around and kissed me, pulling down my skirt and panties. Then she pushed me down on the bed and got on top of me, pinning my arms down and sucking on my breasts, taking them into her mouth and biting my nipples. I moaned and then she pinned me down again. I spread my legs apart and she grinded her pussy into mine.

"Like that?" she said. 

"Yes," I whispered.

Then she grinded again and I moaned. "Feels so good," I said. "I come so hard from this."

Her pussy felt so hot against mine, it felt like it was going to catch on fire. I grabbed her and kissed her as he grinded against each other and then she took my hands and pinned me down again. We were both sweating now and it felt so good to feel her sliding around on top of me as she moved her pussy into mine. "Sam loved this too, " she whispered.

"What?" I said. At first I thought I heard her wrong.

"She loved it when I kissed her pussy with mine."

She let go of my hands and kissed me, grinding into me harder and faster. I moaned and could feel an orgasm coming on. 

"She loved it when I ate her pussy. She loved eating mine."

"Yeah," I said. "You fucked my girlfriend, you fucking slut."

"She's my little slave, she'll do anything I ask."

I grabbed Britt's ass and pushed her harder into me.

"Now I'm fucking you," I said.

We kissed again. "I'm gonna come," I said.

"Not yet," she said. 

We kissed again. And she took my finger into her mouth and sucked on it.

"Put it in my ass," she said.

I moved my hand down and slowly inserted my finger into her asshole and she moaned louder. I was so turned on that I couldn't hold on any longer and my pussy opened the floodgates and I screamed as we came together. Then we collapsed on the bed. She took me into her arms and we kissed. Her big brown eyes opened wide and she smiled. "You girls were too easy," she said.

Britt On The Go



CHAPTER 1

It was rumored the city's third TV channel ZEE-TV was on its last legs. There had been rumors before when FOX cut its ties with the station but it then received a limited news and program service from a New York-based agency and it struggled on with up to 20% of the city's peak time viewers but that figure had begun to ebb.

Many viewers liked viewing programs largely uninterrupted by ads, because not many advertisers placed ads with the station, and its saved money by playing B-grade movies that turned out included many cult movies that were all the rage thirty of so years ago. And so cults were remembered and the young folk laughed themselves near senseless at such titles as 'Bozo Goes to Paris' and 'Giant Sewer Rats Threaten New York'.

At 6:25 viewers watched to see Mandy Wade's daughter read the weather for the first time. The previous night Mandy, a former State Beauty Queen and wife of the station's owner Slim Wade, a former star quarter-back, had read the weather for the last time and introduced Britt Wade who had been working in Europe for four years after graduating with a master's in broadcasting communications.

Britt read the weather report. "Now with that crap out the way – they could have easily kept it simple and said 'More of the same' but never mind. I'd like to know if there's anyone out there who could mail me a recipe for raspberry jam? I've just arrived home after several years to a calamity: mom has lost her recipe for my favorite jam. Our mail and email address should be on screen about mid-thigh. Sorry my dress is so short but French men went crazy about my legs and that's left me with an inflated ego and an over supply of short dresses. Good night everyone and thanks for being so loyal to mom reading the weather all these years."

Slim Wade switched off the set and said to his wife, "Britt articulates well and her timing is great."

"Yes, we have been rehearsing."

"What's this about raspberry jam Mandy? You only know how to heat prepared food."

"Search me? It's a gimmick she has some up with. She's attempting to develop affinity with viewers. I doubt she can keep it up."

"Well displaying legs like that she is unlikely to shed our viewers," Slim grinned. "I haven't seen much of your legs lately."

"Oooh," said Mandy.

Next evening Britt read the forecast standing in the middle of the studio floor while four men emptied sacks of mail around her feet. She finished with the weather and said, "Oh you good people. Today I received these 2447 letters you can see around my legs, plus almost 300 courier deliveries of pots of raspberry jam with recipes enclosed plus almost 5000 emails. I can't believe this response and yet my mom Mandy warned me. She said be true to your viewers and they will be true to you. Well it's going to take me weeks sorting out this response and our family now has 288 pots of jam left so PLEASE, no more. Tomorrow night my chat will be about my bra choice. Good night." 

The next evening the ads after the news and before the weather including two from suppliers of raspberry jam and a supermarket announcing it stocked eight brands of raspberry jam.

Britt read the weather dressed in a short white leather skirt and a pink bra.

"Tonight my question is about bras. Girls do you think I should pack them in one bra size too small or should I be prissy and wear a band to flatten my look? I'm confused. I could ask mom but she's too busy sorting out raspberry jam recipes. Tomorrow night's question concerns shaving."

The Banrock Daily News next morning ran a page 3 photo of Mandy Wade with glasses on reading recipes with 287 (one more had been consumed) jars of jam and below that was a photo of Britt, very posed, scratching her head and holding out several types of bras; she was wearing a coconut bra.

'Britt (27) Wins Hearts of ZEE-TV Viewers' screamed the headline. It background the arrival of Britt and the illustrious career of her mom Mandy.

That evening Britt came on to read the weather wearing the coconut bra and later said, "We received hundreds of responses about the most suitable bra for me. Here is Mrs Michaels from Michael Lingerie to fit me in the bra voted by the majority of you to be best for me and Mrs Michaels agrees. Britt turned her back on to the cameras, undid her coconut bra and slipped into the bra Mrs Michaels held out.

"Mrs Michaels, please explain this preference."

"You are rather heavily breasted Britt and the under-wire bra gives you that extra support which research has shown means a less tiring day."

Thank you Mrs Michaels. So there we have it. Britt dropped her skirt and to reveal bikini panties. 

"Although I'm blonde and lightly haired you can see by this camera close-up I do show a bit of escaping fuzz. So what do I do... light trim or a full shave? Or perhaps a Brazilian? I welcome opinions."

Slim Wade turned off the TV and wiping sweat off his brow said, "Oh god, tomorrow night she'll show her pussy."

"Darling, give your daughter some credit. She knows not to overstep the mark."

"Thanks for that reassurance. How's your pussy darling?"

"Oooh."

The next evening research data would later show ZEE-TV had its biggest viewing audience ever and the third-highest peak viewing stat in the city's television history. Britt presented the weather wearing a white bikini and completing that task asked for "a close up soft focus on my crotch."

"I followed the majority of more than 3000 responses, mostly emails, that indicate to me younger women were in on this. I was advised to shave only on the outer bikini line and to trim any other hair that might be lurking down there. I am so grateful for that. I dreamt last night of screaming awake to find I was receiving a Brazilian. Well I've shaved to my bikini line and now would feel comfortable walking along Main Street like this. And now for my next challenge. As you know I have just returned home to America so haven't lined up a date yet. I invite guys around my age who'd like to date me to send in their photo overnight and include their telephone number. We will use this data for promotional purposes so you must be presentable and personable with a penchant for being kind to young ladies. I'll make the choice. Thank you."

Switching off the TV Mandy sat on Slim's knee and said he could uncover his eyes; his daughter hadn't displayed her cropped vulva.

After reading the weather next evening Britt turned to look off-camera and called, "Come to me Mark."

"Hi everyone, Britt said, taking a red-head guy with freckles by the hand. "This is Mark Harris who is fifteen. Of the 177 photos received after deleting fathers and grandfathers wanting to date me, I picked out Mark here as my date for tonight. He looked the cleanest and freshest guy from the photos supplied, and I must say some of the photos received I could be termed 'depraved'. Mark's parents are here in the studio and will accompany Mark and me on this date. Good night everyone."

Slim turned off the TV and complained, "What's wrong with our daughter – why pick an upstanding high school jerk when she could have dated a depraved man?"

"Darling, our daughter is a credit to us. Please come over here and deprave me," Mandy said, dropping her panties.

* * *

Early next morning Slim had urgent talks with his financial controller.

"Sorry Slim but it is my duty to inform you if we continue trading at this level of loss we will be in breach of Government Regulations and in all probability will go to jail. Here is my resignation."

Within the hour all personnel including daughter Britt had received their redundancy notices and the station had gone off air, broadcasting a loop announcing that due to adverse financial conditions ZEE-TV had closed permanently and its license was being returned to the FCC.

* * *

James J. Jamieson, president of Jamieson Advertising Agency that had come out of nowhere in the pack to become the most successful ad agency in the city by the time of the death of its founder Bill Jamieson, eyed ZEE-TV's streaming closure announcement.

"It's a sad day for our city that ZEE has finally called it a day. Fortunately Slim has two motels and two good-performing pre-owned car yards generating good income for that duo. Now you guys, what does this mean for us?"

"A reduction in TV advertising outlets for our clients?" said the director of marketing.

"True Miriam but few of our clients wanted to be placed with ZEE."

The business manager said the company should buy the studio, convert it into open plan offices and on-sell it.

"Excellent Cliff. Make the purchase at 15% below appraisal and do that but only if you are confident of returning a 50% profit within 12-months."

"We go after the girl."

"Who said that?" James barked.

"Your son Harry," his PA said.

"Harry is in here at our executive meeting as an observer and instructed not to speak."

"I'm not responsible for keeping a muzzle on your son," Mrs Collins the PA snorted.

"Yes Harry, that was the answer I was seeking from this brainless lot in front of me. Go recruit her at under maximum terms and conditions that Nancy here will set for you."

In the HR manager's office Nancy said, "You poor boy. Why do you allow your father speak about you like that in front of us?"

"My grandfather did that to him, according to my mother, so she counseled me to sit and accept it, that it would cease as I rose my head above the mass."

"God, she's in on this with your father."

"No Nancy, she understands. She was my grandfather's mistress."

"Harry you can't say things to me like that."

"Just keep your mouth shut and it will be okay," grinned the twenty-seven year old business college graduate. 

* * *

Mandy answered the doorbell and involuntarily placed a hand between her breasts and croaked, "God, evangelists are becoming younger and more handsome these days or are you a meter-reader?"

"As desirable as those vocations are Mrs Wade I'm here to see your daughter. My name is Harry Jamieson."

"James and Debra's son?"

"Yes."

"Oh please come in."

Harry followed in the curvy ass covered in a silk gown and said, "You have retained a great figure Mrs Wade. I know my mom was at school and then college with you and her ass is blubbery."

"Why thank you Harry. You are so discerning. It's so uplifting."

"I wouldn't have thought the word uplifting was in your vocabulary ma'am."

"Why Harry, you undiscerning flirt."

"That is so true Mrs Wade."

Drawing on a rarely used blush these days, Mandy practically giggled as she said she would fetch Brittany. 

Britt was in the bath, attempting to erase her hangover from the 'wake' party ZEE fired staff had held the previous afternoon and into the night.

"What does he want?"

"He didn't say dear."

"Well send him in."

"Not until I put more bubble mix into this water. God you are so irreverent."

"If he's under thirty he will have seen all I've got by the truckload."

"He's under thirty dear, handsome and well mannered and knows how to talk to women."

Britt snorted. "Act your age mother. More than half the women of your age only have sex on vacation."

Following Mandy into the bathroom Harry was still protesting he'd wait till Britt had finished her bath and was dressed when Britt said lightly, "Shut up Harry; off you go mom."

"This is highly irregular."

"God Harry, you were a prissy in your class ahead of me at High School. I would have thought the girls at business college would have knocked some maverick into you."

"Hi Britt. I'm attempting to make a good impression."

"You're failing."

Harry's mind flipped on him and regrouped sending a signal pattern to his voice box.

"Are you still a slut?"

Harry couldn't believe he'd just said that. He opened his mouth to apologize, knowing it would be a lost cause, but Britt's peel of laughter left him speechless.

"God Harry, it must have taken all the courage you possess to say that. Good boy. Sit on the toilet but don't use it."

That shocked him. "I'd rather stand."

"Sit otherwise I'm leaving the bathroom."

Harry sat. 

"It's lovely seeing you again Britt. Would you please allow me to take you to dinner this evening and to make no response to other job offers until you have considered mine?"

"Yes and yes Harry. Now tell me what you've been up to since I last saw you almost five years ago with that flat-chest Jennings girl?"

Harry gawked. "You remember that night?"

"Yes, it was my farewell party as I left for Europe next day. While away I'd often thought of you filling my... well, let's not go into that."

They chatted until Britt said she better get out before the water broke down her skin cells.

"I'll collect you at 7:30."

"Only if I'm ready by then Harry. You should know not to try to hassle firm-minded women which means most of us."

"Yes, oh yes."

"Thank you Harry but I would have preferred you to tell me to get fucked and be ready on time. Most women including me prefer a decisive and firm man. Or are you just hard Harry?"

"Hard?" Harry said goodbye and fled.

That night Harry recruited Britt. She openly confessed she hadn't received any job offers and wasn't expecting any. She thought she might have to turn to prostitution.

Aghast Harry offered Britt the deal at maximum levels and she accepted and then smiled and told him she didn't fuck on a first date. He could kiss her but it better be good.

From his apartment Harry called his father who was receiving fellatio so was able to talk.

"That's great news but why are you free of her so early, doesn't she fuck? 

"Not on first dates dad?"

"Christ, another woman on staff with morals."



CHAPTER 2

Nancy in HR decided to introduce the latest recruit to staff herself, sensing Britt was 'a chosen one'. The boss occasionally had a hunch and hired what appeared to be a totally unsuitable woman and more often than not the hunch came off. Nancy had this confirmed when Britt appeared in a jeans suit, loose shirt, untidy hair and the only makeup was lipstick. The boss would be beside himself in disappointment at not being able to view tit and exposed legs and would concede his instinct was correct, that this babe would deliver the most unexpected results, being beautiful, imaginative (as they'd confirmed seeing reviews of TV weather reporting tapes) and, above all, being unpredictable, like with her appearance today.

Nancy heeded the call to enter the office and said, Mr Jamieson, may I introduce our latest acquisition in Creative, Miss Brittany Wade.

"Hi boss, call me Britt."

James didn't answer, appeared shocked at Britt's almost disheveled appearance. He stared at Britt but the disappointment began to slowly dissolve and looking back Nancy found out why. Straight-faced, Britt slowly lifted her jeans skirt until just below her panties.

James beamed. "Welcome to the team Britt. I'm regarding you as a killer of an appointment so don't disappoint me."

"I won't James."

Only executives were permitted to call Mr Jamieson James. Nancy tensed but no explosive reprimand came.

"Good, good. You have a degree in media broadcasting communications so will be aware of restraints. You have my permission to push to the wire and we'll vigorously defend any complaint and subsequent action. But if you loose you're fired. Do you understand?"

"Yes James. No sweat."

"Good, good. Off you go and good luck. Harry is bound to date you regularly so I expect to see more of you, a lot more of you when beside the pool at home."

"I'd like that boss. Bye."



Gloria Roebuck, creative director, looked at Britt jealously. "I cannot believe I am to place you in charge of a film crew and allow you to take the assignment without any direction from me and you have free hand to commission any of our resources."

"It's called spontaneous interaction between film-maker and viewer Gloria."

"I know what that trend is; but everyone else performs it under direction."

"Aren't you lucky. You have a president who is aware that spontaneity is not spontaneity under direction."

"Well you fuck up and you're out of here. And I'm Mrs Roebuck to you."

"That's too difficult to remember. Gloria seems friendlier don't you think?"

"Go to that empty desk over there where I can keep an eye on you."

"Thank you Gloria. If I require your professional assistance I shall ask for it. I hear you are highly rated in the industry."

* * *

That evening Harry Jamieson kissed and fingered Britt to a high state of excitement but he failed to enter her. She kept her legs crossed and when he attempted to part them she told him he was bruising her.

Harry whined, "I'm off tomorrow on a week's vacation with my girl friend Veronica. I have told her about you and she accepts she is losing me but has insisted I go with her on this prearranged vacation. I hope you understand?"

"Sure, and I think you have done the honorable thing for both of us by sticking to your plan and not seducing me - yet."

Harry said provocatively, "She might use the week to win me back."

"Then you'll be the loser. I guess that's why you didn't fuck me tonight?"

"Well I didn't push to win you over. Um, she's entitled to have the only pussy I'm filling."

"Good boy. Use condoms and a spermicidal. This could be a trap by her. Get it?"

"No?"

* * *

The public affairs manager at Bartholomew Bank spoke on behalf of the two vice-presidents. "We here at Bartholomew are..."

Britt interjected. "I suppose there's no excitement internally about changing the bank's name?"

"What, after 187 years of service to this community and environs? Are you crazy? As I was saying, we here at Bartholomew are disturbed that we are losing traction. We were once the city's leading bank and the latest stats show we have slipped further to third. Your agency has been hired to restore us to our rightful position."

"I can get you there, but to stay there you'll have to lift your game. Your premises are drab and your personnel appear under-trained and lacking incentive. I've always banked Bartho so know what I'm talking about."

"Bartho?" one of the vice-presidents said indignantly.

"Yes," Britt said in surprise. "Oh god, you don't know what your customer call you? That means you don't do customer sampling?"

"Well we do some consumer research."

"But not much?"

"Well no."

"What percentage of budget is devoted to customer research?"

The vice-president in charge of administration ran a finger inside his collar. "It's done when someone at a board meeting says it's about time we revisited."

"Oh Christ. You're locked into the 1880s aren't you?"

"Now look here young woman..."

"Sir, talk to me like that again and I'm out of here."

Sybil the public affairs manager said, "Cyril, I think we should listen to Miss Wade."

"Call me Britt please; we are in this together," said Britt and everyone one looked at her hopefully.

At last Britt, working from a customer list, found the face she was looking for: an old guy, wrinkled, with most of his teeth missing.

"Hi Mr Brown. I'm working on behalf of your bank. I came to this farm on a school visit when I was a very young girl. What are you doing?"

"Attempting to clear this drain. It's blocked. Can't quite get me hand to grasp the object."

Britt said, "Here, let me help."

"It's pig shit."

"Well I hear pigs are cleaner than humans."

Britt's smaller hand went into the pipe and she pulled out a piece of plastic and the banked up excrement flowed out, Britt managing to pull her hand clear of the flow.

"Well, never in my days of farming have I seen anything like that... a banking lady willing to clear shit. Come in and wash up and Gladys will serve cookies and coffee."

* * *

The bank board watched in disbelief as the near toothless guy called Farmer Brown on the ad said, "You know I've been on this pig farm since I was born in 1930, later taking over from my dad. Bartho Bank had pulled me out of the crap several times but they reached new heights in service when the other day this representative of theirs (the camera shot showed a young bank officer pulling off a long surgical glove dripping in wet crap) used her smaller hand to clear this blocked excrement for me. Bartho Bank goes that extra hog for you, don't it? Heh-heh-heh." A voiceover stated, 'Bartholomew Bank is the oldest surviving bank in town because it's First in Service. Bank with Bartho'."




Britt On The Go



A huge row erupted around the table and the perspiring president Finnegan O'Connor finally said, "Lady and gentlemen, may I call in the genius behind this promotion?"

Eager to get their teeth into someone's butt the board agreed.

Although not forewarned, Britt knew what to except. She burst in brightly and said, "Hi to the Board. I anticipate my ad is approved but you have one or two wee points for clarification?"

Britt was in a pin-striped business suit, wearing no shirt or bra and the jacket buttoned at her navel. The skirt stopped about eight inches below her hipbones. Although she was standing very erect, her stocking tops were clearly visible.

The men just gawked, leaving it to the only female member to engage. Old Mrs Arnold said, "Oh, our hilarious, impertinent weather girl Britt. I had wondered what had happened to you. From the vast amounts I can see, your skin looks to be in perfect condition."

"Thank you. I must say Mrs Arnold this series of advertisement is the lifeline your bank needs. We are dealing with a fickle public today who will switch churches, banks and brands of condoms without any thought of downstream repercussions. If we fail to interface with the new generations but still continue to display our 'steady as she goes' status of our more conservative customers we are heading for the bottom of the trough."

"We? Trough?"

"I knew you'd support this initiative Mrs Arnold. Your daughter Pansy is married to Farmer Brown's son Tom, I do believe?"

Mrs Arnold sighed. "Yes and I support this campaign one hundred percent. Clearly we are in danger of casting adrift from our customers. I see definite affinity in your film strip between Bartho Bank, er Bartholomew Bank and one of our oldest family customers."

By the time the males raised their eyes from Britt's stunning legs they knew approval was a done deal because Mrs Arnold herself called the bank Bartho Bank and she and her family held 41.37% of stock in the Bartholomew Banking Corporation. She had just announced, "I approve." Following brief discussion all Britt had to do was to promise to do nothing to bring the bank into disrepute.

Britt walked to her desk in triumph, but not showing it, anticipating creative director Gloria Roebuck would be watching her, breathing brimstone. Instead of looking up and waving, Britt read a waiting email on the intranet (internal internet system) marked urgent.

'Britt. Anticipating you have the balls to push the bank your way I have sent your clip through for final processing for a 60 second ad. By pulling all strings I have been assured it will run on both channels at prime time next Friday and appearing in that same time slot for the next seven nights. A half page version of the ad, a pic of Farmer Brown grinning at our junior Wendy removing her dripping gloves, will run in the first section of the Daily News on Saturday morning. Secretly I knew you would perform but even so you have exceeded my expectations by 500%. You have my permission to call me Gloria.

Congratulations. Gloria.'

Britt raced into the director's office and kissed and hugged the startled Gloria.

"Thank you, Britt bubbled. "Secretly I knew I could count on you despite your attempt to appear a frosty-faced bitch."

Britt was almost to the door when Gloria said, "Join me at the bar across the street for a drink after work this evening."

"Yes ma'am."

Britt's next assignment was no easier. Patrick's Irish Bar was going through hard times. She visited the bar and asked to see Patrick but was told there was no Patrick working at the bar.

"The boss. Oh it will be Cónán you'll be wanting," said the Irish lass, swilling the floor with a dripping mop. "There's the door waiting for you."

Britt was relieve Cónán didn't have a fake accent. He was Colin and he'd been a couple of classes ahead of her at high school.

They went out to the bar and Colin pulled her half a pint of light.

"It's gone 11:00 and I'm your only customer Colin, and getting a free one."

"Gawd Britt, you could easily get a free one from me between those lovely legs."

"We're talking business Colin. Behave. This bar smells like a pig sty. That woman is mopping with dirty water. Call in commercial cleaners right now. I'll be here with a camera crew at 1:00 tomorrow. I want you to get half dozen sexy women for the photograph. I suggest just the one half page in the Daily News to be repeated each month should do it."

"I don't know any sexy women who come here."

"Well get them from the brothel on James Street. You go there don't you?"

"Yeah... oh fuck what am I saying?"

"Just offer free drinks and tell them we want them looking like business women rather than whores."

"They'll say there's no difference."

"You're right. Um tell them to dress up a bit – wear bras and fairly low dress hems. And Colin, get the lighting down. This level is strong enough to see acne."

Next day the photographer and lighting technician got Britt to drive their van back to the office. The two guys went off with the sexy six women.

The ad Britt produced along with a graphic artist was mainly picture. The words overprinted across the legs of the prostitute models read: 'The Girls Go to Patrick's Irish Bar in Kingswood Avenue. Rumor has it the Guys Go for a Beer.'

* * *

At the Friday morning all-staff meeting Harry, back from vacation, at times had his tongue in Britt's ear, so everyone knew who'd be fucked at lunch break. As soon as Harry entered the building he'd gone up to Britt and declared he was a free man. 

Midway through the presentation Gloria said, "And now two ads from our newest recruit, the very unconventional talented Britt Wade. It appears no job is too daunting for her because she was given these two assignments to really test her."

"The first is an ad of very poor taste that will appear in tomorrow's Daily News. Patrick's Irish Bar has hit hard times but this ought to do the trick," Gloria said, projecting the ad on to the big screen.

"Oh god, will we get away with that?"

"Oh boy, I recognize some of those, ahem, models."

"What does it mean?"

"In answer to comments one and two, yes, I agree with Britt we'll get away with this because it's not claiming anything, and is not selling anything. The unspoken message is in its subtlety. Yes, the ahem models are from the Tight Hole Brothel on James and in recognizing the women it's obvious where you spend some of your lunch breaks Ian. But as Britt says, what guy is going to lay a complaint and give himself away?" 

Gloria continued after the laughter died. "Britt assures me women readers will think the women are regulars. In answer to your query 'What does it mean?' Janet it means men will now go along to see what brings that class of women to this bar and curious women will visit to see the men who attract such sexy women. The proprietor has cleaned up his act and will have a three-piece Irish band playing Thursday, Friday and Saturday's from 5:00 to 8:00 to make the place more hospitable and lively and the madam at Tight Hole has agreed to allow her girls, two at a time, to go to the Irish bar to find clientele. It does suggest an ad that will stimulate inter-business activity. Well done Britt."

"Now for a film-clip of Britt's ad for Bartho Bank that is slipping in popularity. This ad is one in a series to deliver a hard sell on a long-term customer's relationship with his or her bank. You may agree with me this is an entertainment classic in corporate image-building advertising."

Sixty seconds later everyone was clapping, laughing and calling out comments to Britt and the poor junior who'd been shown pulling off the dripping glove.

"Perhaps I should say Britt actually unblocked Farmer Brown's drain," Gloria said. "But for the shoot she decided she was too well-known after her recent exploits as Weather Girl to be shown as that might encourage some viewers and readers to suspect the situation was phony. And I agreed."

There was more clapping from people pleased to acknowledge the new recruit was up to standard. 

As they were leaving the meeting Harry asked Britt if she'd like to go along the street to a hotel that rented rooms by the hour.

She replied stiffly, "No thank you."

Surprised, Harry said, "I'm sorry. Obviously you expected something better than that from me."

"Damn right," she replied hotly and walked away.

He called, "Britt, I have dinner with my parents on Friday evenings. May I invite you to accompany me? I'll call mom."

"Yes thank you. I am out on a job in half an hour. I know it's not the custom around here to work Friday afternoons but it's the only time that suits my target. Brendan is happy to come and has found a willing lighting tech in Dinah."

"Good, you'll like her. She has humor."

"That's good to hear. I do too Harry, mostly."

"I was an oaf. Sorry Britt."

"Accepted."



This time Britt was on-camera. The shoot began.

"Hi Mr Oliver. I'm Britt Wade, representing our client Bartho Bank."

"Oh hello gorgeous. You were that sexy weather girl on the now defunct ZEE-TV."

"Yes but this is serious business Mr Oliver. Why are you a loyal client of Bartho Bank?"

"Well granddad established this lumberyard on the back of a loan from Bartholomew and the bank stuck with him when times got tough as they do occasionally in our business. Dad took over and stayed with Bartholomew's and I was with a different bank and when I took over I thought I might switch the company to my bank. That day was payday and our courier with the pay failed to show, got pushed off the highway by a truck. So I rushed to our bank Bartholomew's and asked for $37,500 in cash, urgently. The teller looked at the clock and said, 'I'm sorry sir. We don't have that amount available right now but the time lock will open one of our vaults in fifty-three minutes. Could you come back then?'

"Oh dear, you'd be ready to blow a fuse at that moment."

"Damn right. But the teller's supervisor had overheard us and said, "Please come with me sir.' She told me a contingency system was in place and took my withdrawal slip and two minutes later was back with her manager and asked me to check the money was there, saying it was in packs of $1000 dollars. I counted thirty-seven packs and then five hundred dollars and signed for the money."

"Well, lucky you Mr Oliver."

"Yes it was great service. I said to the supervisor, Miss Briggs, might I take you out to dinner tonight? She whispered to her manager and I heard him say, 'Approved, we know Mr Oliver and his father well and his grandfather before him. A very solid family."

"Ah, I smell romance?"

"Yes Britt. Come over here and meet Cathy with the twins. This is my lovely Cathy, formerly Miss Briggs, bank supervisor. She now runs our accounts and these babies are two months old. Bartho Bank read about the birth and sent us a lovely baby's blanket and a bank account with a credit of $50 and a moneybox. Apparently they do that to all new borns because they consider the client is the family, not individuals. We laughed at only one blanket and bank account and said nothing but late that same afternoon the customer relations officer came out with another set of gifts and apologized hugely saying the birth notice in the newspaper initially had not been read correctly. She presented Cathy with flowers and gave me a half bottle of whisky. All I can say is Bartho's is our kind of bank."

"Definitely, it's our family bank," smiled Cathy.

The crew reshot some of the takes and back at the office Britt sent an order through for the film to be edited in production for a 60-second slot including the voice-over used in Bartho's Farmer Brown ad.

Cameraman Brendan, taking Britt across the street to the bar where they found half the personnel from the office gathered, said, "That was a pretty dry ad, not like the first one."

"Horses for courses Brendan. This ad is for the more conservative types who appreciate their service provider going beyond the normally accepted level of duty and care. That ad ought to send a strong message to them."

"Aw come on Britt, can't you think up something sexy?"

"Hmmm, let me think. Would you like to film college hockey girls coming in all muddy and going into the showers nude, tits wobbling?"

"Would I what!"

"You will be supervised by their coach Brendan but I advise you to wear loose trousers if I can pull this one off."

"Britt, you are a real gem, you know that. Here, let me buy you a wine."

Harry came over and kissed Britt, confirming to everyone something was on between them, and Britt found to her delight that Harry and Brendan were really good friends.

"You'll have to come for dinner and meet my wife Lucy," Brendan said. "She will be relieved to see you with Harry. Every time he comes home Lucy has this vivid thought that he's out to stick her."

"You mean knife here?"

To Britt's embarrassment the two guys roared with laughter. Then she twigged but too late. Everyone gathered round to hear the joke repeated and Brendan obliged. The women from the office noticing Britt's acute embarrassment comforted here, saying things like, "Fucking men and their toilet humor." 

It was then Britt noticed she was being accepted into the fold as being a woman with vulnerabilities like most of them rather than being a Miss I-Can-Do-Anything star.

"Britt are you into full shaving yet?" asked Betty a computer graphics artist. The men strained to hear Britt answer but she kept her voice down too low.

On the way to his parents' home Harry stopped at a late-closing florist store and bought two bouquets. "One for you to take home to complete my apology and one for you to give to mom."

"Oh of course, I wasn't thinking. Please let me pay for her bouquet."

"Okay, $37.50."

Britt, fingering her hair in the vanity mirror asked, "Will your mom know I haven't been home to freshen up?"

"Yeah, I told her when I called you were the only one in the office out working. She was totally impressed."

Debra, almost as tall as Britt who was six feet, and with an older woman's chest and thickened arms, greeted Britt with a huge smile and said, "I've seen you on TV and heard about you from my men that I feel I know you Britt," she said kissing her guest lightly.

"Oooh, how many men do you run with?"

Debra shrieked in laughter, throwing a hand across her mouth to stifle the noise. "God, I expected you to be funny but you still caught me out. Have you bedded my boy?"

"Not yet, he keeps running away."

Debra released another laugh into her hand. "Come through darling. You will have come straight from work via the bar. I'll leave you to freshen up."

It was a relaxing, entertaining evening. James proved to be an agreeable host and he asked such acute questions about Britt's background that she was forced to comment, "You have been a newspaper journalist haven't you?"

James said, "Guilty, I began my working life as a cub reporter and finished as a chief crime reporter on a big city daily. My promotional prospects didn't appear favorable so one of my pals was head hunted into advertising and two weeks later I rode in on his back and he and I eventually purchased my father's company when he decided to retire. I brought out my partner out three years ago. Interviewing technique involves many facets. Gloria tells me you are great at asking the question and then standing back, something that I know women find it difficult to master."

"It seems to be the right thing to do."

"Gloria tells me your natural talent runneth over."

"Well, that's one person's opinion. Mrs Jamieson..."

"Oh please Britt, call me Debra at all times."

"My Farmer Brown ad runs in two minutes. Would you like to see a sample of my work?"

"All her own work apart from post-production," said James.

They watched the ad and Debra was obvious impressed and said so. I saw the newspaper version. That was good but this one is sheer entertainment and yet delivers well. I was creative director at the company. That's where I met James."

"Oh, how romantic."

"Well yes, I'd never had some much sex in my life until I coupled with James."

"Er, Gloria says this series could win us an award if Britt keeps her motor running."

Britt thought enough had been said about her. "Ah guys, could we talk about something else? Did you build this house? I love the feeling of style and openness."



Harry drove off, placing a hand on Britt's thigh.

"It's welcome to stay there providing you drive attentively."

He grinned. "You've slain mom. She thinks you are sensational and says I'm not to let you go."

"Well moms think they know best. Let's see how you go."

"Will you move in with me?"

"Harry, I first want you to think how that could affect your career."

"I have and reckon it could enhance it."

"Well if you're than keen I better look over your apartment. If it appears unsuitable the answer will be no."

"God you are tough."

"It might pay you to remember that Harry."

Harry though fuck you honey. Britt could be so cold at times. His preference was for fun-fun females, not cold ones wanting to tell him what to do. He checked the answer phone as soon as he stepped into the apartment, undoing his tie, and listening to the first message said, "Oh damn."

"What?"

"My brother arrives at the airport in thirty minutes. He's asked me to pick him up."

"That's fine, I'll take a cab home."

Harry looked as if Britt had pulled on of his teeth. "No, please come to the airport. Please."

"Okay."

Harry listened to another message and turned white. "That was Veronica's mom. They arrived home early and she found Veronica in the bath with a gin bottle and glass and a razor blade with just one light cut to her arm. Veronica is in an emotional mess and she wants me over there to help."

"Well that's serious Harry. Off you go."

"Okay, I was thinking I should do that. You pick up Kingsford at the airport and take him home. He'll be tired, arriving back from an international convention in Switzerland."

"How will I recognize him?"

"Um, I get a photo from my bedroom."

Harry returned with the photograph and said, "He's older than me and more serious."

"Why the stethoscope; is he a male nurse?"

"No you idiot, a pediatric surgeon and apparently a good one, recently gaining a senior appointment. He looks very much like that; the photo is less than two years old. Take it with you."

"How will I know where to take him?"

"Christ, I hope you're not too drunk to drive. Kingsford knows where he lives."

"Oh."

Harry handed Britt the keys. "Take care with my car. Kiss me."

Britt brushed her lips over his.

"Call that a kiss," he complained and was told to kiss Veronica properly.

"God you're cold."

"That could be because I remain unsure about you Harry."

"Off you go," he said sourly. "Return my car undamaged."



CHAPTER 3

The guy in a white suit with just an attaché case looked older and grumpier, but perhaps that was how surgeons look after a transatlantic flight after playing hard for a week.

"Kingsford?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure I'm not Kingsford you dumb broad. Fuck off before my wife sees me talking to you. I'm in deep shit already for coming home two days late."

Britt turned away and bumped into a guy, almost tripping. He caught her.

"Have you lost mommy?"

Britt looked up into smiling gray eyes and thought she liked his bedside manner. She decided to play it cutely. "Do you wear a stethoscope?"

"Sometimes."

"And is your mommy's name Debra."

"Yes," said the man, now looking a little mystified.

"And you have a brother who can be such a jerk?"

"The asshole. He's not come to meet me, sending you instead."

"Correct Dr Jamieson."

"Then he's out screwing the ass off a sensational chick named Britt. Mom's been telling me about her. Well," he smiled pleasantly. "At least he's sent someone to pick me up. What's your name pretty one?"




Britt On The Go



"Britt."

Dr Jamieson dropped his laptop. Britt lunged forward and caught it inches from the granite floor.

"Oh thanks," said the red-faced man. "I apologize and wish I could take that back but I know I'm dead. Britt I'm Kingsford."

"I know and knew all the time. I have you photo in my handbag. Are you going to kiss me?"

"Kiss you... but why?"

"Reason one, that's what people do in airport terminals."

"Reason two is I'm also apt to let things slip like you just did so I'm understanding.

"Reason three is I think you appear to be a few notches above your brother who's been called to an emergency involving his supposedly ex-girlfriend Veronica. Will your wife mind if you kiss me and press into me hard enough so you feel my breast squeeze sideways against your chest?"

"What? I have no wife."

"Oooh."

"And since you appear to be nosey, no steady girlfriend at the moment, just a couple who date at the drop of a hat."

"So, with Harry at his supposedly ex-girlfriend's side and you being terribly impressed with me despite that nasty thing you said about me, we are free to kiss like lovers, even if we're not that. Um yet."

The gray eyes looked at her quizzically. And then the kissable lips moved to make way for, "Are you sure?"

"Very sure."

They kissed and it lasted and Britt held his head to stop him breaking away and so the kiss lasted and lasted. 

"Wow."

"Best kiss I've ever had from a stranger," she gloated. "Come on, give me your laptop and you grab your trolley.

"My mother says everyone is awed by you and I can see why. There is cuteness, beauty, audacity, big personality and perhaps a sense of adventure, or is it daring, all bundled into one. It's quite sensational."

"Would you like to begin an affair with me?"

"Ah, that's it in one. I should have expected that but didn't because it was too audacious. Could you give me twenty-four hours to answer? I'm tired, at low ebb."

"No I can't. It's now or never. Take a big risk Kingsford."

"I'd be a fool to say no. So it's a big yes."

"That makes you no fool Kingsford. Well here we are."

"You parked here in the VIP area?"

"I gave twenty bucks to that smiling parking warden over there, thrusting my chest forward and asking could he kindly look after my vehicle for ten minutes, the wording chosen careful so that neither the 'tip' nor the request could be construed as a bribe or a request for the granting of an improper parking favor."

"You are incorrigible Britt with an exhilarating sense of fun; you live."

"And having met all of your family I know not to expect a stuffy surgeon."

"I'll work to avoid disappointing you. Ah when can we..." He stopped.

"Do it?"

"Ah yes," Kingsford said, lifting his bags into the trunk.

"Perhaps not for a few days. You have to get to know me, and me you and I have to terminate your brother."

"Um, you mean drop him?"

"Yes. What other meaning could there be?"



They arrived at Kingsford's apartment above shared medical offices.

After he unloaded his bags he said, almost shyly, "Please come on up."

"No naughty boy. If you get your courage up you'll want to fuck me."

Kingsford looked around nervously. "That language is a little strong."

"That's me Kingsford."

"Um, I'll get used to being embarrassed by it."

"You're not that thin-skinned are you?"

"No I meant when you embarrass some of my more conservative friends and acquaintances."

"I can be quite circumspect Kingsford, truly."

"I shouldn't say this Britt, I really shouldn't, but please just be yourself when you are around me or my people, even my parents. I adore you for what you are, I really do. You are so refreshing, making me feel I live surrounded by part-Zombies."

"Oooh, you make me sound interesting."

"And you are. I'm glad we exchanged short versions of our backgrounds on the drive here. I feel I'm beginning to know you, in the way I should. I am so pleased our paths have crossed."

"My too," she said. "I'm looking forward to taking you to bed. I hope I don't get too excited and flood all over you before we really get going."

Britt kissed him soundly and was off, Kingsford waving, mouth open, until he sighed and said, "What the hell was that? Well mom did say Harry was attempting to cope with an amazing young woman."

* * *

Next day Harry, using a lop-sided grin, said, "I'll have to keep Veronica under my wing until she stabilizes but can take care of you on the side."

"Oh I don't wish to put you to that trouble Harry. You can't play a violin with two bows. I'll drop out of the frame. Oh, I think your brother is cute. I might try to screw him."

"Do that and you'll be out of this company on your ass," Harry said darkly.

Britt laughed and tickled him under his chin. "Don't even think about it. Your father would not like to lose me and your mom thinks I'm such a darling and will think I'm so right for your brother – what's his name? – providing I stop my moments of coarseness and my tendency to use foul language. That would be three against you Harry, think about it."

"I think that's bullshit and Kingsford has his reputation to think about."

"Come on Harry, don't be a sore loser. Really you are the person who needs to polish up his act. You think lowbrow much too often and think negatively like trying to get rid of me just because I dropped you. Grow up Harry."

Late afternoon Kingsford called. "Dad wants me to go to his club with a partner this evening. It's their formal Wednesday night they have once a month with guests and a professional speaker. Would you kindly accept my invitation to accompany me?"

"Did everyone else turn you down?"

"I haven't asked anyone else," Kingsford said, sounding quite indignant. "I only want to be there with you. Have you dumped Harry?"

"Yes."

"Did he make threats?"

"No."

"Well that's a surprise. He's a poor loser."

"Yes and I told him that."

"So he did threaten you."

"God Kingsford, how can I lie to you if you're this sharp? He said it could cost me my job. It told him to get lost."

"I'll talk to mom and dad about that threat."

"No please don't; it's unnecessary. My feeling is Harry is a little afraid of me."

"Me too."

"Excuse me?"

"Just a little."

"Well I suppose just a little okay. That puts me on par with Debra."

"I should have known you'd figure out that. Has she asked you to call her Debra?"

"Yes, why?"

"She rarely does that to much younger women. My mother is difficult to predict."

"Watch the behavior and listen to girls aged from around seven to fifteen Kingsford. You'll learn things quickly because they're off-guard. Understand them and you'll understand older females much better. We'll not all that complex. It has a lot to do with ritualism aimed at keeping males ill at ease. Not many females would even identify it as ritualism. We learn what our mothers teach us."

"God, that's deep."

"Oh if you want deep, you'll get deep honey. A pillow under my ass and my legs hanging over your shoulders... oh, sorry. We don't really know one another yet, do we?

Kingsford released a big sigh. "No, but it's happening fast as I'm hit by one shock after another."

"Give me the time and place and I'll meet you there. It's time to impress your mother and friends."

"Is customary for women to wear gowns on formal night."

"That's okay, I have mom's old dress-up gowns from years ago."

"Britt, I don't..."

"Hush honey, I can be such a tease."

* * *

The Banrock Club president, Finnegan O'Connor, head of Bartholomew Bank had risen and was about to welcome everyone including the guest speaker when he looked over to the entrance and smiled.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm delaying my greetings to everyone for a minute to welcome a rising new personality in our city, the delightful Miss Brittany Wade who happens to be doing an amazing job for our bank in demonstrating what customer loyalty is all about, and that's old-fashion values topped by going that extra yard in service. Britt began her promotional campaign for us with a TV film clip now simply known as the Farmer Brown Pig Ad. Many of you will have seen it."

People began applauding. 

Britt walked towards him and said, "Thank you for such a grand welcome Finnegan. Oooh isn't this a swanky venue. If I'd known I would have dressed up."

Everyone laughed, women standing to get a better look at Britt who wore a white silk gathered gown with a halter neck and finishing just above her ankles. She wore six-inch see-through battery-powered heels with embedded flashing red lights. Flowers were woven into her piled-up hair. She looked stunning.

"Where will you be sitting dear," said the president, taking her arm.

"The James J. Jamieson table please. My date tonight is James and Debra's eldest son, Dr Kingsford Jamieson."

Pushed and prodded by his mom, Kingsford stood.

"Oooh, there he is. Kingsford has just returned from a high-powered medical convention in Switzerland."

Everyone clapped and as the president returned to the rostrum Debra kissed Britt and giggled, "I've been coming to these nights for fifteen years and have seen grand entrances by everyone including some drama queens but you eclipsed them all by being so beautiful and remaining so laid back. Britt kissed James and then Kingston and sat down and whispered introductions were made to the other two couples at that table. While the wine waiter filled Britt's glass she leaned into Kingston and pushed a stray part of his blond fringe into place, causing his watchful mom to slowly shake her head in wonder.

During dinner the president came over to Britt and whispered to her and she nodded. As coffee was being served he announced, "We sometimes have a warm-up speaker at this stage but none had been arranged for this evening but I've hit on Britt Wade who had consented graciously to say a few words."

Britt said, "I worked in London, Liverpool, Paris and Monte Carlo doing a monologue routine I had built up following my experiences in amateur theater but it's too saucy to perform here. I mention it to explain why I had no shame in arriving late in an endeavor to attempt to impress my date's mother. I hadn't expected Finnegan to slap the spotlight on me so when he asked me to speak, how could I refuse? I'll speak about two blondes, real people."

"I'll never be as famous in this city as my mother was. I'm the daughter of Mandy Wade, one of the loveliest women I've ever met and my dad is Simon but known as Slim. They have suffered a severe commercial setback, losing their TV station. That's okay, they have good investments providing a good income but there's one thing that niggles me. My parents who remain members of this club stopped coming to the club because my mom felt she was being cold-shouldered by some members because of their business failure. My mother as a former beauty queen became almost an institution in this city, leading fund-raising campaigns that raised enormous amounts for charities and special projects. My father was famous long after he retired as a star quarterback. I know my mom exaggerates – goodness that's one of her quirks I picked up and her ability to tease. But this is serious. My mom hurts, feeling she's being spurned by some of the woman in this city and had felt she was less than welcome at this club. Dad being dad couldn't care a hoot and probably doesn't know about how mom feels about this. I'd just like to make this appeal – ladies, could you do something to drag mom back here and make her feel welcome? Older member will know that mom and her fund-raising group twenty-three years ago raised the $80,000 required to buy this site to allow this club to move from its old flood-threatened location. She'd be appalled to learn that I talked to you like this. But then I always was a big mouth. Like mom I guess."

"Well, my other blond story is much more cheerful, I think. I go back to the Farmer Brown TV film clip and newspaper and magazine ad. I remember visiting Brown's Farm when I was in the fourth grade I think it was. Farmer Brown looked old then, and toothless and when thinking about a character to feature in my ad I called him and asked would he feature in my ad for Bartholomew Bank. He said we should talk about it. I went out and drank weak coffee and told him about my concept. He said he'd have to talk it over with mom, meaning his wife, who was over the back of the farm picking berries. He asked me to return next day. I found him on his hands and knees attempting to unblock a pipe. His hand was too big to get in so I said let me try. Nah you won't want to do that, he said. The pipe drains pig shit. I just shoved my arm in up to the elbow, grabbed a wad of cotton and out came a flood of stinking goo. I almost threw up. But I grinned. He said, he was going to say no but I had the guts to do that so he ought to have the guts to appear on TV." 

"Now I wanted a blonde from the bank to feature in the ad and as you can guess there were plenty of them. The first two almost threw up at the mention of pig shit so I said to the HR manager did she have a blonde from off a farm. She found one, Miranda, a shy young thing. She agreed to act the role providing I coached her on her lines. It went very well and I've earned a lot of credit for that ad." 

"But that's not the end of that story. I went into my branch in the head office building one day and saw people grouped around Miranda. I was called over as I'm known there as the Pig Farm Ad Lady. I was delighted to find that that filmmaking experience and being congratulated by her friends who saw the ad and that recognition had given Miranda a huge burst of confidence. When I saw her that day Miranda was being congratulated by colleagues for being promoted as a personal manager. My personal manager moved upstairs on promotion and today Miranda is my personal manager. It was lovely seeing that shy blonde young woman make such a career leap because people took an interest in her. I repeat, because people took an interest in her. There's a crafty message in me talking to you about two blondes isn't there? Thank you for listening."

The president thanked Britt to huge applause. He said, "Elsie, as vice-president I'm sure you know what to do about this. I'm deeply ashamed knowing Mandy always was one of the liveliest and most active members of this club. Thank you Britt, You were inspirational in a most unexpected way."

As Britt reached her seat Debra rose, eyes wet and hugged Britt and said, "Darling I'm so proud of you, so pleased to hear you publicly acknowledge you mother as a fine woman. I'll make sure as an ex-president's wife of this club I'm on the deputation that will visit her."

"Thank you Debra. That's lovely of you. I take it you're not angry I've switched sons?"

"No darling, you are where you are best-suited."



Kingsford drove Britt home, straight to his apartment. As they got out of the car he said, "This is all right, isn't it?"

"Oh, you want to fuck me darling?"

"I...um... yes, yes please."

"Oh what a lovely polite man you are. Of course you can fuck me."

As Kingsford approached Britt in the lounge she giggled and said, "What – no surgical gloves and disinfectant?"

He winced, said nothing and continued his advance and grabbing her roughly slapped his mouth on to hers and grunted, "You are such a teasing bitch."

"Oooh, you like me," Britt cooed, forcing her tongue hard to open Kingsford's mouth. He allowed access and sighed as her tongue attempted to strangle his. When they slipped back into conventional kissing she felt down for his erection and said happily, "That's sufficient foreplay. Fuck me on the table."

"Table?"

Britt slipped out of her dress and climbed on to the table and turned and said, "Honey, drop your pants and pull down my panties and then it's all your show."

Kingsford interpreted correctly that he wasn't to waste time and as the head of his dick spread Britt's pussy lips wide and it slipped in, they both sighed and smiled at one another.

"Take your time darling," Britt cooed. "I want to remember this occasion."

They went at it again later, on the bed, and agreed they were made to be together like that and the kisses were long and sweet and the sex was way beyond good, and yet when Kingsford awoke later all that was left of her was a note saying, 'Thanks. Great Evening but the best bit was coming back here and being with you. You're a lovely guy'.

Kingsford yawned, rested the note over his eyes and bridged by his nose and went back to sleep.

* * *

Britt and her team replaced a regular Bartholomew Bank ad booked for that evening on prime time and produced a replacement full-page version for next morning's newspaper. Approved by the bank's marketing department the ad showed a smiling young woman.

"Hi, I'm Britt Wade your ex-weather girl from the now defunct TV Station ZEE-TV announcing that I now work in advertising. I'm permitted to use my irreverent creativeness in doing such things as producing ads for good old Bartho Bank. There's talk our Farmer Brown ad for Batho's will win my agency an award. Well who cares? What worries me is Bartholomew Bank doesn't have the respect it deserves after serving this community for 187 years. Watch tomorrow night during the 6 o'clock TV news and at that time on any other local stations for my latest attempt to groom Bartho Bank's image. Thank you for watching this and please be lovely to your children. If you don't have children love your neighbor's but I'm not advocating adultery."

Next morning Gloria defended Britt's decision at the morning meeting to run that ad.

"The approach is novel; it will work, I know it will," Gloria said.

There was criticism and Britt was invited to answer it.

"Nah, let's get on with something else."

The admin officer took an urgent call. She grinned. "Our switchboard is running to capacity. Ninety percent of the callers want to know what time is Bartho's Ad scheduled tonight and some of them want to know what the ad is about."

"Everyone looked at Britt to comment but she just shrugged.

Harry who was chairing the meeting said, "Yes Britt, what is the ad about?"

"About Old Mrs Arnold being interviewed by me. It runs for 90 seconds."

"Oh that will be hilarious," Harry said sarcastically. "Right let's move on."

After the meeting Harry said to Gloria, "This ad you guys are keeping under wraps. What's it like?"

"Sensational."

"Are you for real?"

"Watch it tonight at 6:07 darling and tell me if you don't have a genius in your midst." 

The ad, run for the first time, showed two people in a TV studio setting.

"Good evening everyone, Britt Wade reporting on behalf of Bartholomew Bank. My guest is Mrs Lucy Arnold. Mrs Arnold, you're eighty-one and reputed to be the richest female in Banrock City. Here's an irrelevant question: You sit on the board of Bartholomew Bank. What made you become a customer of the bank?"

"My father a share-farmer opened an account for me seventy-one years ago. I never had a reason to bank anywhere else and then came the Great Flood of 1959."

"Oh and what was so special about that?"

"It drowned my young husband and covered our newly purchased low-lying farm with silt. I was ruined as there was no life or property insurance. But the city council decided to immediately build a stop bank to protect the city and as our farm was on the edge of the city limits the stop bank would protect our farm. I went to Bartho Bank with a scheme to re-grass and re-fence and re-stock my 400-acre farm, seeking a loan of $83,000 and that was a lot of money for someone without a cent. They investigated my scheme and investigated me and found our Arnold family had been with the bank since it opened, now 187 years ago. So I was given a bank loan of $90,000, the extra money being to restore my house and keep myself in food until I had a productive farm again. Over the years I sold off land, repaid loans and today the Banrock City Mall, Banrock University, Stadium City and Banrock Interstate Truck Freight Clearing Center sit on my former farm."




Britt On The Go



"I respect Bartho Bank for having the guts and vision to back a near destitute woman perceived to have the grit to carve out a big future for herself. So I serve on its board. I'd never bank with anyone else. Why would I?"

"That's a sensational story Mrs Arnold. Thank you for sharing with it. This is Lucy Arnold and Britt Wade signing off."

Harry attempted to call Britt to congratulate her and say that ad would have tremendous appeal to conservative citizens, being a huge endorsement. But her phone was off; she'd left for the Banrock Club where her mother Mandy was to be presented with a life membership.

* * *

Britt was nervous about her mom meeting Kingsford. Her mom was likely to declare in a loud voice that he appeared too conservative for her daughter. Then she'd have to kill her mother and spoil the presentation of the life membership. Well something like that; perhaps just losing it and screaming the guest of honor was such a bitch.

Well it didn't happen. Mandy was surrounded by club members she'd associated with in the past congratulating her for the honor about to be conferred and newer members wanted to meet the legendary Mandy Wade, formerly Mandy Goldsmith. Britt couldn't get near to her mom to make the introduction early. However after the dinner meeting closed Slim invited his daughter and partner to a bar for a drink and included the Jamieson's as Debra had proposed Mandy for life membership.

At last Britt had Kingsford lined up beside her and they faced her mother and father.

"Mom dad, this is...."

"Oh hi Kingsford," Mandy said, stepping forward and kissing him.

"Hi Kingsford, how yer doing?" said Slim, shaking hands.

Noting her daughter's surprised look Mandy explained, "Kingsford was chairman of our televised Thursday evening discussion panel on child care for some two years. I didn't know you knew him dear. Weren't you having an affair with his younger brother?"

"No, not an affair mom. Harry and I never had sex. I'm having sex with Kingsford."

Conversations around them silenced but resumed when Mandy realized just how loud Britt had said that so she said loudly, "Oh that's lovely for you darling."

Kingsford was looking at his feet and James and Debra Jamieson were looking at their son.

Mandy caught the look on Debra's face and asked, "Weren't you aware of this?"

"No, I thought you two had only gone on the one date. Kingsford has been so busy lately."

"Screwing takes up time," Slim said sagely and only he and James laughed.

"Yes, I'm delighted to confirm Britt and I have been seeing a lot of one another and a romantic relationship has developed," Kingsford said, squeezing Britt's hand. She squeezed back and said, "Romantic? I thought it was libidinous."

No one appeared to notice because James had said, "I'm ordering champagne."



"What did mom say to you during that one-on-one huddle?" Britt asked, stroking to get Kingsford firm again minutes after completion of their rousing sixty-nine.

"She expressed her delight that we two were together."

"Well she might have said that to me as well."

"You were too busy talking to my parents after dad told you the just-released quarterly business survey shows Bartholomew has regained it's position as the city's preeminent bank."

"Well wouldn't you be captivated and with your father telling your mom my unorthodox campaign had given the bank a huge jump in new business and in public popularity?"

"Yeah I guess so and knowing you're anxious to impress my mom."

"Who told you that?"

"No one. I simply observed your actions around her. Talk about being full on."

"Well I was anxious."

"There you go."

"Oh god, whatever happened to dumb males?"

Kingsford slid his long thin cock into the eager pussy with Britt's anxious assistance and he said calmly before settling into stroking, "Do you wish to become engaged?"

Britt color deepened significantly, she jerked, and said, "Ohmigod, you've made me cum when we're not even underway."

"I take that's a yes," Kingsford said dryly and began to pump into a steady rhythm.



CHAPTER 4

Britt's 10-ad Bartho Bank advertising campaign won more than sufficient public and industry nomination and to go forward for national judging in the Most Effective Professional Enterprise Advertising Campaign category. She and Kingsford and his parents went to the awards presentation evening, a glittering affair.

The Bartho Bank Campaign won its division and James took Britt up to receive the award. She brought the house down when the master of ceremonies asked, "What motivated you in this most original campaign?"

"I had just lost my job on TV as a weather girl and entered advertising and immediately was given the opportunity to place a stake in the ground for my bank. I thought I'd lost my job, fired by my own father as his TV station was closing down, but no way could I afford to fail on this one. So I decided to sex up our 187-year-old bank a bit by making local people know Bartho is not just a bank but also is a rock solid institution in our city. I guess I was bimbo enough to actually make my ideas work."

The audience roared with laughter and taking the microphone James said, "All I wish to say our Britt in Creative is a genius but she can't accept that. She says what she does is just her. Thank you. This is our first national award and we'll treasure it." 

Later the MC said, "And now for our prestige award judged by a panel of ten top people in advertising plus five media critics. Panel chairman Hope Cruise introduces this one."

"Hi everyone, I trust the food and wine has gone down well and you have been caught up in the glitter and exposé of the awesome talent on parade tonight?"

The applause and table thumping were deafening. 

"As you all know the winning entry in this category usually has cost millions of dollars to create and as being on the theme, the Most Memorable Ad of the Year, one would expect that. But this year to our astonishment your panel has been unable to go past..."

James leaned over and whispered to Britt, "This has to be you."

She looked at him and smiled, saying, "You're drunk."

The grand march of Aida began playing. Hope called, "Will Britt Wade from Banrock City – we are not sure where that is – return to the stage." 

Britt in a simple blue gown and a tie of the same light blue in a band around her neck was spot lit as she walked to the stage smiling and waving and looking exceptionally glamorous.

"Britt, congratulations. How long have you been in advertising?

"Twenty-one weeks."

"You mean months."

"No, weeks."

"What are your qualifications?"

"A good eye, a good ear and good anticipation. That's all I can say. I have a master's in media studies, majoring in broadcasting."

"Well you are an exceptionally gifted young lady. Folk you will remember I said the ads of past winners have costs millions of dollars to produce. How much did this ad cost to produce Britt?"

"$13,729 to be exact which was the figure the client was billed plus our usual margin."

"What was you brief?"

"I wasn't really given one except to build up the community image of Bartholomew Bank. So I decided to go for impact and make it memorable. I woke up next morning with the script written in my mind and I wanted just one face of incredible character and knew where to go because we'd visited his farm on a school field trip when I was ten."

"Well there we go folk. If that isn't creativeness and self-belief I don't know what this. We usually screen the ad as the winner comes to the stage but tonight I thought I'd talk to Britt to give you proper perspective. Here were go," Hope said, leading Britt off to the side of the big screen.

The audience watched the Farmer Brown ad intently and then people were clapping, some were crying in laughter and the foot-stamping began as did the cry, "Show it again, show it again."

It was shown once more and then Britt was applauded as she received her $10,000 prize sponsored by a global cosmetics manufacturer. 

Britt was invited to the official party but declined but then accepted when her party of five was included in the invitation. It was almost 3:00 next morning when they arrived at their hotel. In the cab James asked how many job offers had she received and Britt said either eight or nine, she'd lost count. Debra had asked earlier what would she spend her prize on and Britt said she would give it to Farmer and Mrs Brown and urge them to take a well-earned holiday. That was greeted in silence, her companions lost in thought.

Dozing on the noon flight home next day, Britt thought about her situation. Her mom was socially reinstated and her father was happy in early retirement as he was now serving on the board of two companies and was currently on the professional speakers' circuit. She was happy in Creative working for James and would reject all of those job offers if formal proposals eventuated. It seemed everything was set but for a husband.

When Kingsford began driving her to her office she said, "Let's go shopping."

"Okay, what do you want?"

"An engagement ring."

He grinned and said she'd meet his friends at the engagement party. "Let's have the party as soon as we can."

"Okay, I'm free this Saturday."

"Uh I didn't mean that quickly."

"I have to start meeting your friends so they get used to me Kingsford so what is it to be?"

"Well Saturday night is okay. If our parents have anything else on they'll have to cancel."

"Thanks darling, see how easy it is to commit once you wrap your mind around it?"

"Yes and it seems the methodical plod of a surgeon will have to change if I am to keep up with you."

"Oh you'll do that with ease darling. I have no intention of allowing you to slowing me down and making me become conservative.

THE END