5 comments/ 56009 views/ 28 favorites Teacher's Pride By: teacherspet_xo The bell rings to signal last period and she calls me back, telling me she had a few things to run by me about the newspaper. Believing her, I wait. Chad asks me if I want him to wait up for me, Ostrom gives me a look, and I know by the expression on her face, to say no to Chad. "Go on without me, I don't want you to be late. Ostrom will write me a pass if need be," I say. Ostrom just gives me a smirk. That "Nice save," look that we're all familiar with. "Come with me to my office," she says. The little office to the side of her room has always been considered her office. Many times when a substitute would be in for her, Chad, Renee, Jessica and I would go to her office and just chill for the period. Chad would talk about his gay life. I'd talk about my lesbian life. And Renee and Jessica talked about their straightness. In the office, windows engulfed the walls. And the whole front of the room was wide open. Just a door and more windows. Point being, there was no privacy whatsoever. The only thing private about the room was that, at the moment, no one else was to be in there. Ostrom and I made our way into the barren room. I knew whatever she had to talk to me about had to be important. Just by the way she closed to door behind her. I started to get nervous. Did I do something wrong? Was she okay? (She'd confided in me before about a recent health scare.) She sat down at the table. Then motioned for me to do the same. I did. I didn't know what to say. So I just waited for her to initiate the conversation. I'm usually this bubbly kid around her. Full of laughter, witty sarcasm, and corny jokes. Yep, that's me in a nutshell. I loved making Ostrom laugh every day. All day I looked forward to that class, and only that class. All because of her. She is married and just last year had a baby. The pit of my stomach dropped at the thought that something was wrong with little boy. Damn, just say something already. "Soooo." I say. Lame? Yes. But the show had to get on the road. "I have to talk to you." Her voice was stern. My heart raced. "You have my attention, Mrs. Ostrom," I reply. "Bare with me," she says, "This isn't easy for me." Oh gosh. I really did disappoint her. Here it comes. Does she want me to resign from the paper? Firing me, in a sense? I half smile, to comfort her in finding her words. "Sarah..." her voice trails off. "Yes, Mrs. Ostrom..." Come on. Just get it over with. I can take it. I hear the nerves in her voice. At least I'm not the only one nervous. "I've been married for over 7 years..." What is she getting at? "My husband has been the only serious relationship I ever had. And you see, this morning he accused me of cheating." My eyebrows involuntarily rise in shock. Is this just her confiding in me? I'd told her before she always could. "Why would he accuse you of that?" The only response I could think of that would engage her to tell me more. "My heart just hasn't been in it lately." "Your marriage?" I ask. "Yes." Silence. "And there's someone else I'm starting to fancy. But I've never acted on it. And it's not like I'd even be able to...I'm so confused." She buries her face in her hands. "Well, if you aren't happy Mrs. Ostrom, maybe you could talk to this new love interest? You never know how happy you could turn out to be." "I can't." She wasn't being mean in the way she said it. It was almost like a sigh in defeat that she couldn't. "May I ask why?" Finally, she removes her hands. Exposing that face that I so anxiously anticipate seeing every day. "You can trust me, hon." I hope that was appropriate to say. The ends of her mouth perk up a bit. Not exactly what I'd call a smile though. "It's not that simple. Listen, I'm not a lesbian but...I have these feelings I cannot explain." Woah. Did not see that coming. Mrs. Ostrom likes a girl? "I've been there. That stage where you're just infatuated with a girl. You're not quite sure what to make of it. Never liked a girl before. Then, boom. What's this all about? I totally understand, Mrs. Ostrom." I had to let her know that. It might help her to know that I've been in her shoes before. "Exactly. You do understand, thank you." I smile. "Of course." "So, you're into a girl whose sexuality is unknown to you?" "Not exactly." "Then you know she's straight, for sure?" "No..." "She's gay then too?" I don't get it. Why would she be so hesitant to let a girl know how she feels if she knows the girl won't be freaked out? "Yes, well. At least, at one time she told me about a girlfriend of hers." So did I, I thought to myself. That's why she's able to confide in me. "You're not going to go for it?" Mrs. Ostrom seemed to be holding back an important detail. The way she was answering my questions, something didn't seem right at all. Something was missing. That's all I knew. "I'm trying to, there's just this big BUT that I'm hesitant to share with you." "Oh, come on. You've told me this much and I'm still here. What makes you think that I won't be? I'll try to help you as best I can. Anything to make you happy, I'm here." "See?" She says. More to herself, I think, than it was directed to me. "I can't prolong this any longer," she sighs. "My husband thinks I'm cheating...because all I've been thinking about is this female...student...of mine." Student?! Oh my goodness. My mind and heart races. It's me. She likes me. Oh gosh. What do I do? What do I say? Should I assume? "And does this student have a name?" I ask flirtatiously. Mrs. Ostrom giggles. She seems glad that she don't have to say my name in order for me to get it. I turn beat red. In a good way. I've liked her for so long. Never thought that with a husband and a child, that I'd ever have a chance. "Listen, I don't want to be the reason your marriage falls apart." "Sarah...it obviously isn't much of a marriage if I'm looking and thinking of you to the point where my husband thinks I'm cheating on him. It's been falling apart for a while." "I know...I'm sorry to hear...But you really think of me?" "Absolutely; I know this is weird, I doubt you feel the same way about this old lady," she half chuckles, "but I've never been attracted to anyone so strongly." "Mrs. Ostrom..." she flashes me a smile. My eyes are full of love and compassion. "I really like you, too." Every tension that was in the air broke. And we sat smiling into each other eyes for a few moments. Now what? I thought. She got up. And so I figured I would too. We simultaneously reach out to one another. It felt so good to take her into my arms. I never felt so close to anyone than at that exact moment. I scratch my phone number onto a piece of paper that lied on the table. Hugging her once more, I slip the paper into her pocket as I pull back from the embrace. Curious, she immediately pulls out the paper. Smiling at the seven digits, she asks, "Will you be busy around 9?" "I'll make sure I'm not." "Needless to say, if this conversation gets repeated..." "You have permission to kill me." She laughs. "Okay. I will." I hear the sarcasm, yet a piece of her truly doubts me. I don't blame her. She doesn't know me. "You'll learn to trust me." And I never meant anything so much in my life. I make my way to last period. I swear that period lasted seven hours. I was so anxious to get home. And then, I was so anxious to talk to her again. Maybe I'll stop by her room quick before I go home? I don't want to push it. But she likes me. I want to see her. She'd want me to see her, right? Ugh, if only this period would get over. 3:16. Two more minutes. My mind hasn't left her once. That's when it hits me how wrong it would be us to pursue our burning passions. Should I just tell her to wait until I graduate? I probably should. I'll mention in. 3:17. I'll mention it in one minute. The bell rings. My stomach drops for the millionth time today. I slowly rise from my seat. Trying to be casual. I don't want Mrs. Ward to think I'm too anxious to leave the room. I don't want to be the last one to leave either. Now, I have to act casual as I make my way to Ostrom's room. Gosh, my stomach. She makes me so nervous. But I'm not complaining. "What are you doing here?" she asks playfully as I enter the room. "Just wanted to wish you a good evening." "How sweet of you. Thank you. I'll call you tonight, okay? We have a lot to talk about." "We sure do," I agree. How I melt at her smile. As I exit the room, I look back. Only to find her looking lovingly back at me. I wink. But it wasn't a real wink. It was a wink to make her laugh. Not quite sarcastic. I want to tell her I love her. But it's too soon. I'll wait for the perfect opportunity. The perfect place, at the perfect time. Is it 9:00 yet? I get home and work on homework for an hour or two, eat supper, shower, shave, lotion, anything to pass the time. And it's still only 7:30. What can I do for the next hour and a half? I watch TV downstairs with dad for about a half hour. One hour left. The anticipation was building. I go upstairs and just mess around on my laptop to lose track of time. My phone is on full volume, just in case. I cannot miss this call. I think back to all of the memories Ostrom and I shared. I fantasize all that we can become. And at some point in the daydream, I was finally brought back to planet Earth by the sound of my phone going off. It was 9:03. She didn't want me to think she was too anxious, I suppose. And I didn't know how many rings before I should pick it up. One, two, three, four, okay. "Hello," I cheerfully answer. "Hey Sarah." The way she says my name. Everything this woman does is beautiful, I swear. And so our conversation went like this: Me: How are you, Mrs. Ostrom? Ostrom: Call me, "Jess." I'm doing alright. How are you, hon? Me: Best I've been in a while. –chuckle- Ostrom: Ha, I know right? We have to be mature about this, Sarah. We have a lot to sort out. Me: I agree. Where should we start? Ostrom: Well, what are your expectations out of this? Me: Um. Well, all I did was tell you today that I like you too. I think I should better establish how I feel about you than going on just that I "like" you. You know? Ostrom: Good point; I didn't really tell you about how I feel about you either. Besides the thinking of you. You go first. Me: I'm not going to lie. I'm so nervous. Not only about being around you. But ruining your life. Unintentionally, of course. Ostrom: Oh stop. I know the consequences and so do you, right? Me: Yes. You're worth risking it all. Ostrom: So are you, Sarah. Honest. Me: And don't worry about me saying a word, Mrs... Jess. Even if something, God forbid, goes wrong between us, I promise none of this will come back to bite you. Ostrom: Thank you. I needed to hear that. Me: You're welcome. Now, let me tell you some things. Excuse my nerves. I tend to rant when I'm nervous. Like, right now for example? –I giggle- Ostrom: Ha-ha. Oh, you're fine. Go ahead. Me: Jess. I've thought about you often over the past few months. Ev..every day, in fact. Not just when I'm in your company. But before I go to sleep at night. And randomly throughout the day. At first I thought, I thought, of our bond as a friendship. But then one day you mentioned something about your husband. And my stomach kind of dropped. It was like, disappointment. Maybe even jealousy? And I realized I just told myself that we just had a good teacher-student friendship to comfort myself. I no longer thought that you were "pretty," I realized that you were "beautiful." I didn't think that you were "interesting," I started to see you as "intriguing." Ostrom: That has got to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me... Me: There's more where that came from. –I hoped she could hear the smile in my voice- Ostrom: Sarah... when you told me about your girlfriend that day, I wasn't exactly jealous. But I'd never imagined you to be "that way." And it made me think that I've never imagined myself that way. And since then... I'd fantasize about being with a woman. But not just any woman, but rather. With you. And not just in a sexual way. I hear your corny jokes, I see your drive, and the way you appreciate life. You're not like most people. And that's inspired me to want to get to know all of you. You've given me a few puzzle pieces. You know? And I want to know you. Sarah...I want you to know me too. And I've never wanted anyone to know me the way I want you to. We already complete each other's sentences, and half the time I know you're thinking what I am. And beyond all else, you genuinely care. That day you came to my room and asked me if I was really okay. No one else bothered. I trusted you, and so far haven't regretted it... Me: You never will. Thank you for all of that. Please, know that I'm an honest human being. I just can't help but wonder where these trust issues stem from. Bad relationship? Ostrom: You could say that, yes. Before my husband...I was engaged to this guy that put me down to the ground. I was never enough for him. And yet, blamed myself. Gave him everything I had, for nothing... I was so stupid. Me: You weren't stupid, Jess. You were uninformed. Big difference. And thought this isn't exactly the same, my father is the same way. Ostrom: You mention your father a lot, and I never quite understand him. Me: Don't worry, I don't either half of the time. Ostrom: Ha-ha, yeah. Does he know about you...? Me: You can say the word, I'm not offended. I'm a lesbian. Not proud, but not ashamed of it. But yes, he knows. Isn't encouraging it. But he supports me. So does mom. Ostrom: That's great. I cannot imagine telling my parents such a thing. They were harsh. Very harsh. Part of the reason why we aren't close anymore. They love Wyatt. And I want him to have grandparents to look up to in his future. Me: I imagine you to be the most amazing mother. When can I meet the little guy? Ostrom: Soon, Sar. I'd love for you to meet him. You like kids? Like. That's not going to be an issue, if this...becomes serious? Me: Are you kidding? I knew from the beginning that you had a child. I love kids, haven't met one I didn't think was adorable. Ostrom: Well, maybe I'm prejudice but my Wyatt is the most adorable one out there. Me: I don't doubt it! Ha-ha. Ostrom: I don't know I feel about him having two moms though, to be honest. Me: Listen, Jess. He'll never have two moms. You're his mom. I know what you're saying. But I'll never interfere with that bond. I'll help you, if we get to that point. But I'll do as you ask me to. I'll be "Aunt Sarah" if you want me to be until he's at an age where he'll understand. Or even a friend of yours. Whatever you want. He's your son. Um, not to be rude either, but what about Mr. Ostrom? Ostrom: Shit, don't remind me. Ha-ha. I can't just file for divorce if I'm unsure all of this will work... what do I tell the other teachers? My friends? My parents? Me: Take your time with that, completely. I'll wait for you. You won't regret it. You'll regret it if you say something to the wrong person at the wrong time. Ostrom: Do you have any suggestions? Me: I say, I'm here when we're able to get away. Just the two of us. Emotionally, I'm committed to you. And off the record, I am physically as well. That is not all I want out of this though. Like you said you wanted, I want all of you. But I'll settle for phone dates, once in a while heading off somewhere just us, and seeing your beautiful face every day in school. Until it comes a time when we can physically come out to everyone, if that's what you'd want...All I'm saying is that whatever makes you happy, I'll do just that. Ostrom: Nobody has ever been so... Sarah. Thank you. I feel so beautiful right now. Me: Well, you should. After all, you are. Oh, and personal emails would be nice too! Ostrom: Ha-ha. Definitely. My email is jlOstrom@hotmail.com. Me: And mine's sarah_mirabile@yahoo.com Ostrom: What are you doing Friday after school? Me: Probably going out with you? Ostrom: You read my mind, ha-ha. I figure if you swing by my room afterschool, we could do something. Grab a motel. Tell your parents you're staying at a friends'. I'll tell my husband I need a night out with the girls and we're going to have a good old fashion "sleep over" at Erica's house. He'll understand. Yours will let you? Me: I'm almost certain. Ostrom: Alright, its Wednesday now. Just let me know when you know. Me: I'll ask tonight. Should know by tomorrow. Ostrom: I can drop you off Saturday some time. Not a problem. Me: Oh, alright. That's great! Thanks! Ostrom: Thank YOU. I'm really pumped for this. We'll have fun, no matter what we do. Okay? Me: I know that, silly. Ostrom: Well, my husband's due home any second now, girlie. So I'm afraid I better let you go. See you tomorrow in Crier. Don't be acting all funny on me, either. Me: Oh man, well. It was great getting those things off my chest. Thank you so much for coming to me today. You have no idea how much I've wanted to talk to you about this. Just couldn't. I won't let you down, my dear. I'll be as I always am tomorrow. Ostrom: Sweetest dreams, to the sweetest girl. I... I'm just so glad that the feelings are mural. We'll get through this awkward stage. Me: I know, we will Jess. Goodnight, lovely. Ostrom: G'night. -click- I hang up the phone and am forced to question whether or not this is really happening. It can't be? Too good to be true. "Jess" as I will call her from now on, is the most beautiful woman I've ever met. And to think that I will get to know her better, to think that I will kiss those lips maybe Friday night, is too much to take on all at once. I'm smiling. I'm happy. I hope she is too. I hope she's just as excited. She sure sounded it. I could just live in this moment forever. I crawl into my bed, pull the covers up around me. And fall into a peaceful sleep. The next morning, I wake up to my alarm clock buzzing. Was it all just a dream? I turn on my phone and look at my recent calls. On the top of the list is her name. "Jess" i have her saved as. For if I put her in as "Mrs. Ostrom" eyebrows would be raised. I've never been so excited to get ready for school. I take my best jeans out of my dresser. Then, I must have tried on a million shirts before finding the one I wanted to wear this day. It's not too overbearing. Just enough to send the message that I tried. And did I ever! Makeup goes on, then I straighten my hair. "Only for you." I whisper as I finish my hair smiling into the mirror. Before heading out the door, I ask my dad about hanging out this weekend with Hayley. I tell him that Barb can drop me off sometime Saturday and that she'll be in town tomorrow around 3:30 so she'll just pick me up after school. He agrees, and surprisingly doesn't ask me a billion questions. I walk down the hill to school and my hearts beating with an unfamiliar rhythm. I could get used to this. First period was fun talking with Jessica. She's my most witty friend. Always spitting out random facts about random things. I'm the one that got her into wanting to join Crier. And I don't think either one of us regret it. She's a good friend, and I've trusted her with a lot of things, but this...I could never. I know that. I want so much to just tell her everything, but I know that if it backfired, Ostrom could lose her job, I could be expelled. Maybe she'd even face jail time? It isn't worth any of that at all. Second period always drags. To think that at one time I liked Miss Ives, sickens me to no end. I cannot stand her mere existence anymore. Which makes for a long class period, to say the very least. Third period also drags, I have no idea why I ever signed up for pre-calc. I must have been on some kind of drugs. I cannot stand feeling so stupid. I've never failed a class before, and this could be a first. I try, and fail. Try and fail. The only thing that gets me through that class is the knowledge of knowing I will see Ostrom next period. I wonder if she'll act any differently. I hope not, I'm determined not to. The bell finally rings. I, once again, try to casually gather my things. Before heading to her room, I go to the bathroom quick to check my appearance. Fixing my hair quick, I resume to room 113. I am usually the first one in there. Teacher's Pride "Good afternoon," I say. "Hi there, how are you today?" "I'm good, and you?" "Pretty good." At that time, Renee walks into the room. I roll my eyes. Great. Renee and I are 'friends' but she's really an ego tripping bitch. Very demanding, very rude. Basically, she's smart and she knows it. We all know it. But the fact that she knows it, makes her stupid to me. "Hey Renee" I say as she plops herself down like she owns the place. "Hi" she says and smiles. By this time, Chad and Jessica are in the room too. Straddling behind is other Crier members, Donnell and Nick. I ask Chad how his day's going. We chit-chat. And Mrs. Ostrom engages in our conversation, as always. It's "normal." But when I glance over to Mrs. Ostrom and we make eye contact, she gives me a special smile. I return the favor and go back to working on the layout of the paper. I go up to Ostrom's desk to ask her what she thinks of a particular article. She raves about it. I thank her. The tension at her desk is a little much. She gives me another loving smile. My heart beats faster than ever before. I look away turning red. She senses this, and giggles to herself. Not long after I show her I'm logging out of the computer. The bell's about to ring. But luckily, I'm starting service learning today. So, I don't have to say goodbye. I'm anxious to see what she'll have me be doing. Will I be making copies? Working on a poster? I guess we'll see. The bell rings and Renee, Chad, Jessica, Donnell, and Nick leave the room. As we wait for the rest of the class to file in for last period, we have a few seconds to ourselves. It's awkward at first, but breaking the silence I tell her that I got the okay from my parents for Friday. She beams, "That's awesome. I talked to my husband, too. Everything's good on my end." I nod as the first student walks in and we quickly change the subject. She asks me to make copies of a quiz the class will be taking later. I do so, happily. The rest of the class went on like this, and the next day was a near repeat. It wasn't until the final bell rang last period that we both looked at each other like "We made it." Mrs. P. was still in the room. She's like an assistant teacher. How to get rid of her without seeing us leave together? Mrs. Ostrom was thinking the same thing, I just knew it. So, I said, "Anything else I can do for you before I go, Mrs. Ostrom?" I nodded my head yes, for her to get the hint. "Oh, Sarah. You can go on, I just have to get these papers copied, and stapled." "Here, let me get it. I'm in no rush. And you don't have to worry about me missing the bus." "Oh you're a sweetheart. Thank you." She hands me the paper and winks. "Thanks, be back in a few." As I exit the room, I hear Mrs. P. wishing Mrs. Ostrom a great weekend. And telling her about her plans. Must mean she won't be there too much longer. I get the copies made, knowing they probably really do need to be copied and stapled. It'll only take a few minutes to copy them. And I figure I'll staple them Monday afternoon. I head back to "Jess's" room, but before I do, I go to the bathroom and check myself again. Adjust my shirt, and hair, then carry on my way. Thank goodness Mrs. P. left. I was so worried that she'd still be in there talking Jess's hear off. "That was quick thinking," she tells me. "Had to do what I had to do." I smile. "Ready to go?" "Yes'm." She grabs her bags, and I straddle mine to my back. "Can I get those for you?" I inquire, reaching for them before she has a chance to say no. "Okay," she says. And we exit the room, then the building. Side by side. How it would be wonderful to always be. Maybe someday? I guess we'll see. "You can set those in the back." she says, and I do. She opens the passenger door for me, "Thank you." "Thank YOU." We laugh a lighthearted, but nervous laugh. What will this weekend bring? Once again, I guess we'll see. She starts the truck and we just sit idle for a second. After the silence becomes uncomfortable, she asks, "What would you like to do?" "I'm up for anything. Have anything in mind?" There's a pause, "Actually..." She says all seductively, and stops at that. Puts the truck in reverse, the drive and carries on down Kings Street. "I trust you." I say kidding, but she knows I mean it too. We make small talk for about a half hour. It looks like we're headed towards East Troy. Where could she be taking me? Then, it hits me. "Pisgah?" "Yes," she grins. We pull up to the back side of the state park. It's about quarter after four. Time seems to be flying. I hate that about having fun. Always have. But then again, I guess that happens to everyone. She parks the truck and we get out, and walk down to the boat dock. I want to grab her hand. Should I? No...Ugh, I really want to. Her hand is just casually by her side, and though it's not a long walk, it's considerably a distance worth strolling hand in hand. I'm doing it. "May I?" I ask and reach for it. She takes my hand into hers, without reply. Strolling almost seamlessly to the dock, she takes off her shoes, sits down, but not before pulling up her pant legs just a little bit. She extends her legs over the dock. Just getting her toes wet. I join her in the same position. And we just look at each other, nervously. I take my hand and pull her hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear. "You're beautiful," I whisper, and she blushes. "It's been a while since anybody's called me that." I smile in half sympathy. As much as I know about her, I don't know anything at all, I realize. "Tell me about yourself, Jess." "You know me, Sarah. What're you talking about?" It isn't angry, and she laughs. But I think it's only her fear of letting anyone inside. "I don't know you. But I want to," I empathize. There's a comfortable silence as we just look to the water for answers. Then, she talks. "I grew up in the city. Had a decent childhood, shared with three brothers and sisters. I was a jockey kid in high school, met my husband in college. You're average Joe here." "I beg to differ," I smile, "If everyone were like you, I don't think I'd be here. You're very special." "Well, thank you for thinking so." We carry on this talk and I get more insight about where she came from. Then, she asks me. And I freeze up. I tend to like to be in others, not let others in me. But after a few jokes avoiding the question I begin to open up to her unlike anyone before. We laugh and nearly cry over different memories and experiences we share until the sun begins to set. It's 7:30, and we both were getting hungry. "What do you say we get outta here and grab something to munch on?" "Sounds great to me." We stand up, putting our shoes and socks back on. And before heading back to the truck, she now brushes my hair out of my face. I never wanted to make the first move on her. Being the first girl she'd ever been with, I felt that should be up to her. And she moved closer to my face. I sense the first kiss creeping up on us. Pleasantly. My stomach near exploding with butterflies. I hold her waist and inch my way closer to her. A firework goes off as our lips finally touch. Her kiss is so sensual. And though not nearly a long, passionate kiss, I felt my world spin. I lick my lips as we pull away. It was a beautiful first kiss. That I could never forget if I wanted to. I took her by both hands, gently swinging them back and forth. It wasn't the right time to tell her that I love her. Maybe later. But it was all over my beaming face, and it was all over her beaming face. We walked to the truck, hand in hand. Only this time, she grabbed mine saying, "May I?" just as I had hours earlier. Not saying a word, I accepted her offer. And so we resumed talking about nothing and everything until we got to Wendy's. She said that she didn't want to risk anyone seeing us together in town, so we agreed on fast food and the drive thru. I wasn't about to complain. Besides, I've always been partial to Wendy's burgers. She said that a decent hotel wasn't too far that she stayed at once before, so we could eat there and just relax. It sounded like a wonderful idea. She checked us in, and told me later that she told the guy the room was for two, but her sister wasn't feeling well to go in there with her. I chuckled and said, "I hope you don't kiss your sister like that." She laughed too and sarcastically remarked, "All the time." We went into the hotel room and had a look around. It was nice, and she even said that it was nicer than she had remembered. She asked if I minded if she got a shower quick, I didn't object and said that I'd get in there quick too after she was done. While she showered, I turned on the TV to see if anything good was on. Nothing really, but flicking through the channels I stopped at something on Lifetime. A movie I'd seen plenty of times before. It was good enough. Jess finished her shower, and sat down beside me. "Hey gorgeous," I welcomed. This had to be the first time I'd seen her without make up. Still, she was far more beautiful than ever. "Anything good on?" "No," I replied, "Just this old movie." "Oh, nice. I've seen this before." "Me too," I laugh. And get up to get my stuff around for my shower. It felt nice to know she was there waiting for my arrival. I cleaned myself especially well and made sure I quick shaved my legs to ensure myself to be a smooth cuddling buddy later. I towel dried my hair and was back to sit with her. "It was really nice just sitting there talking with you by the water, Sar." "Likewise, Jess. Thank you." "You're very wise beyond your years. It's like there's no age difference at all when we're talking the way we are right now." "I agree. It is really nice." Jess was dressed in this cute little nightgown that showed off her perfectly sized tits. I tried not to notice, but it was hard not to. I edge a little closer to her, and kiss her cheek. "Jess, I..." I pause. It's still not the right time. "What is it, babe?" Babe? Dang. She's really getting into this. I don't mind at all. I feel so good about the direction our relationship is heading. "I...I just wanted to tell you that this day has meant the world to me. And I really see us going places." I sigh to myself. Maybe I should have just told her? I think she knows by the way I stuttered. Then again, I could just be over analyzing. "Tell me something, Sar?" "Of course." "Have you ever done anything with a woman?" "Yes..." I respond. "What's it like?" I hear in her voice once again that she's nervous. But she wants me, right? She wouldn't have asked. "I can show you better than I can tell you," I say and kiss her beautiful lips hard, then neck. "Mmm." she moans. That's my sign to continue. But I must request, "Please tell me at any time if you feel uncomfortable, or want me to stop doing anything or everything. I want you to be ready, and without fear." "Thank you for respecting me," she says shyly, "I'll let you know." We share a smile and I go back to kissing her lips, then neck. My hands go from holding her face to a hand resting on each shoulder. Then, they inch my way down to gently massage her breasts. "I'll warn you," I say, "I'm a talker." "That's fine, baby." I grin and my heart flutters. I am now holding her, and feel her squirming as she attempts to undo her bra. "Lemme get that," I say. And reach behind, still kissing her nonetheless. After it is unhooked, I pull back and she takes off the cute patterned brassiere. The night gown is still on, and I don't want to go too fast for her. In that moment that we were still pulled slightly apart, I asked one more time if she was sure she wanted this. Nodding her head yes, I am still a little hesitant. She begins pulling the nightgown up and over her head exposing her tities completely and silk red panties. I cup her breasts into my hands playfully, "How you feeling, lovely?" "Beautiful; I feel so good," I kiss her passionately and in the mist of this, she persists to undo my bra. Accepting the invitation, I take it off, and back away for her to undo the buttons of my long sleeve pajama top. Throwing it to the side of the bed, she reaches, slightly hesitant, to touch me. "Mmm" I moan. And she sits up, kissing me fondling my small tits. I feel embarrassed, but she doesn't seem to be judging so I momentarily allow myself to let go of all fear. I returned her kisses twenty times over. And gently kiss my way down her chest and ever so carefully lick her left nipple. Then right. She is getting so horny and it's adorable to see her squirming for more. Building and building. I squeeze her thighs this time, then a little harder and resume kissing her beautiful tits. They're getting really hard and she's moaning louder. I kiss her tummy and brush my hands over her vulva quickly, hesitant. "Oh god," she cries out. "Baby, you're so sexy," I whisper. She tugs at the strings on my pajama bottoms and I take the hint that she wants me to remove them. As I do, both our tits are exposed to one another, as are our panties and she tells me that I'm so, "gosh darn cute." I play with the elastic of her panties some more, and she takes my hand guiding me inside. "Someone's frisky," I say flirtatiously. She giggles for a second as my fingers explore. The louder she begins to moan, the faster I go then slow. Faster yet again, then insert one finger inside of her. It about taking her breath away, I feel good knowing I am satisfying her. Several minutes later, I am kissing down her stomach again, then licking up her thighs. I kiss her sex, and gentle pry her swollen, wet lips apart and make passionate love to her. She looses all control of her body and after a few minutes, I take her by the hands, kiss her lips, and hold her. My head resting on her chest. "Sarah," she calls. "Yes, Jess," I reply. "That was the most beautiful experience I've ever encountered." I smile really big, biting my lip. I am looking into her eyes, and get lost. I honestly couldn't tell you if I wanted to long we lied there cuddling. I stroked her wrists as I held her hand, and let go of any expectation anyone ever held for me. I was enough for her. And that knowledge made me every emotional. When she asked what was wrong, I told her, "Absolutely nothing," and I meant it. That is what made the moment so precious. We got re-dressed, and she used the bathroom before climbing back onto the queen sized bed. Once again, I felt the need to tell her that I love her. But they always say that it isn't right to do so after sex, I decide that I will tell her before she drops me off tomorrow afternoon at my house. I wish the night wasn't going by so fast. It seems like we just left Wendy's five minutes ago. But I am appreciative of the time we do have. And we are definitely making the most of it. "Tired, babygirl?" I ask. "Kind of," she says. "Cuddle me?" I ask. "Don't have to ask me twice, honey." And so we lie there. Not saying a word, but somehow having the best conversation ever. Finally, I break up the beautiful silence and say, "I hope we can spend time like this together again soon." "I know, sweetness," she says, "We will as often as it is unobvious." "I understand," I say. Secretly wishing we never had to say goodbye. Wishing that in school we didn't have to put on an act. Wishing that Jess was all mine. I'll deal with sharing her though, if it means I have her heart. And from the sounds of it, I think it is clearly mine. I kiss her forehead and wish her pleasant dreams. "Wake me if you get up before me, Sarbear." "Kay, will do JessyWessy." We giggle and I turn over, she snuggles up close to me and I know that she really likes me. Me? Sarah Williams. She likes me, maybe even loves me. I fall peacefully into a good night's sleep. In the morning, I am woken up by Jess kissing my cheek, "G'morning, sunshine," she says with a smile. I moan and want to roll over, but this angel already has me smiling, and I respond, "Good morning to you, my lo..dear." Catching myself before I use the "L" word. "What time is it?" "9:30" she says, "I figure I'll drop you off around 4?" "Okay, if you must drop me off, I guess that time will do," I giggle. After waking up a bit more, I call my parents to let them know that "Barb" (Hayley's mom) will be dropping me off around 4 and they say that that's fine. I tell them how much fun I'm having and hang up after telling mom I love her. "What do you wanna do until then, hun?" I ask. "Last night, I decided. Today is all yours." "I didn't mind at all what you planned for us," I assured. "How about we go up to Turtle Back and hike, find a good place to sit and talk?" "I haven't been up there in forever," she says, "Okay, that sounds wonderful, babe." I change my clothes and so does she. We head to the truck again, and head for Turtle Back. The whole way down, she had me by the hand. This weekend had far exceeded my unrealistic expectations. Expectations that I had thought were unachievable. But Jess has went above and beyond to make this weekend one of, if not the very, best of my entire life. I've felt beautiful and appreciated and understood and secure and the list goes on and on. I love her. I really, positively do. We arrive to Turtle Back and the whole time I'm distracted thinking of the perfect way to go about telling her. She senses something's up, and inquires, "You look deep in thought..." "Yes. Kind of," I do not lie. "What's on your mind, hon?" "Ha, wouldn't' t you like to know?" I giggle. And she laughs too but is still very curious. I've learned that about her this weekend, she is very curious by nature. "It's not that I don't want to tell you. It's that...I don't know how to tell you." She smiles, and I imagine her to be thinking something along the lines of, "just say it already, I know and I love you too." But I cannot do it now that I think she knows, right? We continue our hike and must have went at least a mile for we were both out of breath and found a fallen tree to sit and rest at. Never letting go of my hand once until now, she looks into my green eyes and strokes the side of my cheek. Leaning in for a kiss, I meet her halfway and this kiss leaves me breathless. "Wow..." is all I say after. "Is that a good 'wow'?" I laugh and sarcastically tell her how much I hated and prove it by kissing her again. And again. We're like little kids and I love it. I love her. It's crazy to think about as we head back down the mile of woods. It's crazy to think about how just the other day I was dreaming about her, never thinking it could be a reality. And then in a few short days, my whole perspective was changed and we were together, getting into her truck after school Friday. "Jess..." I say as we reach the pond. "I've been dying to tell you something." "I've noticed honey, what is it? You're starting to have me worried." "Oh shucks, don't worry babygirl..." There's a long pause and I look into the depths of her heart, "Jessica Ostrom, I..." I am amazed I got that much out. Here goes nothing, "I love you." What happens next, I do not expect. She picks me up and swings me around 360 degrees. It's like something you'd see on a movie. And she hugs me tighter than snake strangles his prey. I don't mind, of course. And she looks at me. With these eyes that are glowing, or maybe slightly emotional, and she tells me those three precious words back, "I love you, Sarah."